#past week was really busy for me so I wanted to put out something simple ^^

[llamasyes]

Moon

[healedlover]

YOU WIN, NOW ITS MY TURN

summary: academic rivals, with benefits. you and gojo agreed to grant each other whatever the other desired. pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader cw: college setting, academic rivals, p in v, fluff I think, make out sesh, cocky gojo, dirty talk, praise a/n: Lowkey been thinking about gojo these past days, quick one shot but also my first gojo fic...sighs

— 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ —

"Man, that test was difficult," Gojo jokes.

You and him had been academic rivals since the start of middle school and you still were in college. but this time, the prizes were different.

In middle school, if he won, you would have to do his homework for the week. and if you won, he would do your work. Simple.

Now that the two of you have gotten older and more mature, Gojo wanted to switch up the rules a bit. 

Instead of you doing his homework, he’d ask you to do him instead.

After every test, he knew he was going to beat you. He always studied a week in advance and somehow always aces it. But you, you were always one or two marks behind him, and never won since. 

Usually they give the marks a day later and you were dreading the day to come. But for this test, you studied your ass off like crazy, and when you did the test it seemed easy? You just hoped you passed Gojo for once.

The next day rolled along and you went to class, sitting in your regular spot. You felt a presence creep up next to you and Gojo stares at you with a wide grin plastered on his face.

"What's got you so happy?" you mutter, flicking your pencil around your fingers. Gojo chuckled and took off his glasses and cleaned them with the hem of his shirt.

"That you're going to have to give me my prize today"

You scoff and mutter something incoherent under your breath, Gojo just stares at you and puts his glasses back on. Before either of you could speak again, the professor interrupts and calls down everyone to get their tests.

Sighing, you get up from your seat and walk over to the professor's desk, he hands over the tests one by one, and when you get yours...

100 percent?!

you smile at your paper and head back to your seat, Gojo follows momentarily and sits down next to you, staring at his paper and sneaking a few glances at you.

"Ready?" you ask.

He nods and you both flip your paper at the same time.

You never forgot the expression on Gojo's face when he saw you got a hundred, and he got a 95.

"What?! Are you sure this is your test?"

You chuckle and Gojo snatched your test, comparing his and yours, his eyes darting from question to question as he noticed all the mistakes he made.

He let out an angry sigh and slammed the tests on the desk before turning his body towards you.

"What do you want?"

"Just a kiss."

"That's it? I'm sure I could give more.." he teased, you rolled your eyes and grabbed your test back from his side of the desk.

"I'll be busy, we have another test tomorrow and I need to study for that."

"just come over to my place and study there, I'll give you your reward and we can study together, same subject right?"

What an odd request, Gojo never really recommended studying together. But you were a little intrigued at the idea. All you had to do was get your kiss, study for a few hours, and go back home, couldn't be that hard, right?

"Fine."

Gojo let out a small chuckle and turned back around to his seat.

As the day progressed, time started to go by really fast. You were supposed to go to Gojo's place in an hour and you haven't started on any homework beforehand, all you were worrying about is what you were going to wear.

Eventually, you found a suitable outfit and packed your things and waited for the time to go by.

Half an hour passed and you left your place to start walking over to Gojo's. He was only a ten minute walk away and you were dreading for the moment to happen.

You finally got to Gojo's place ten minutes later, you stood in front of his door and gave it a few knocks. shuffling was heard on the other side and the door flung open to reveal Gojo in a large t-shirt while his hair was messy and his glasses were out of place.

"hi satoru"

Gojo greeted you back and grabbed onto your wrists, dragging you inside his place. you've only been there a couple of times and it looked the same the exact time.

it was always clean and organized like crazy, and he had a bunch of collectables, way too much.

the two of you got to the living room and sat down along the coffee table, Gojo brought out his textbooks and notebooks, lying them on the table across from him. You eventually did the same.

"lets start, and then I'll give you your kiss whenever you want!" Gojo cheered, opening his textbook to a random page and started on the work.

"oka–"

"by the way, how'd you get a hundred on the last test?"

"I studied a bit more than I should've."

"hm, okay." Gojo lifted the end of his pen to his lips and pondered for a few minutes as he stared at the textbook for a few second before an idea sparked in his mind.

"lets quiz each other after studying, okay?"

"sure, lets do that."

Gojo nodded and started studying, and you did the same.

an hour passed and the two of you got a lot of studying done. You haven’t talked to each other the whole hour. The cold, silent room was interrupted with Gojos groan as he stretched in his seat.

“you done?” he asked between yawns. You nodded and he closed up his textbooks before grabbing his question sheet.

“How about this, every question you answer wrong.. you give me a kiss, or I give you a kiss, doesn’t matter.”

“I asked for one kiss, didn’t I?”

“Then make sure you get one question wrong.”

You chuckle, “or I could get all of them correct.”

Gojo shook his head and started asking you the first question, it was a simple multiple choice question.

“—A, B, or C”

“C?”

“Wrong.” Gojo smirked creeping towards you, your eyes widened and you looked at your notes and back at Gojo who was inches away from your face.

“Damn it.” You mutter and quickly give him a small peck on his lips, he frowned and grabbed onto your chin to pull you into a more intense kiss.

He pulled away moments later and stared into your eyes.

“Do it like that, yeah?”

You scoff and Gojo moves on to the next question, which you surprisingly got right. Question after question you kept getting it correct.

Until…

“D, E or F?”

“F.”

“Finally.” Gojo grinned and leaned his face towards yours, you sigh, placing your fingers under his chin and crash your lips onto his, he stumbled on top of you and slipped his fingers through your hair as his tongue pushed deeper inside your mouth.

His glasses kept falling on your face, which caused him to push his face closer to you so he could keep them on. You grabbed onto his hair and pulled his face away, a string of saliva trailing between your lips.

Gojo’s face was flushed as he breathed breathlessly over you, his glasses kept slipping off, and eventually, they fell on your face.

You groan as Gojo laughed quietly, picking up the glasses from your face and putting them on you. You blink a few times, adjusting yourself to his vision and notice how nice his eyes were in this vision.

Gojo wrapped his fingers around your neck and brought you into another kiss.

“Wai—mmh”

Gojo pulled away and grabbed onto your legs, wrapping them around his waist, his eyes were filled with need and desire, he wanted you to choose more than just a small kiss.

“There’s still…5 more questions left” he said while glancing at the question sheet he made and back at you, you whimper in response before he slowly lifted down his pants, revealing his aching hard-on.

“Please…just this once, please?”

You grumble a yes under your breath and his expression lit up the slightest. His fingers sunk under the waistband of your pants and he pulled them down in a quick movement.

Gojo stared down at your figure, his eyes lingering on your soaking cunt for a few seconds before he slipped two fingers inside, stretching and stroking it for a few seconds.

“You’re so..tight, ngh..you think my cock can take you in with a pussy like this?”

“Mmh—satoru hurry!”

“How impatient, you still have a question to answer, then I’ll put it in, hm?”

“Just get on with it” you moaned.

Gojo read out the question and the options you had, you knew the answer to it, but your mind was in a haze with his fingers working so well inside you.

“C!”

“Good girl, you’ll get your reward now, hm?”

You nod repeatedly and he chuckled, slipping his fingers out of you. Gojo grabbed onto the tip of his cock and stroked it, letting the pre-cum drip out of him before slipped inside you.

A moan escaped out of your lips when you felt his tip make contact with your entrance. Gojo let out a tsk before slowly thrusting inside you.

“Next…mghh question, you’re taking me in so good already.” He moaned grabbing onto the paper of questions and reading out the next one.

You answered wrong.

“Wrong.” Gojo said before thrusting his full length inside you. A wave of shock scattered through your body and your back arched at the pleasure he was putting inside you.

“What- what’s the answerrrr?! s-slow down!”

“It was the third option, now, lift your hips for me.”

You obeyed and lifted your hips to the perfect angle, Gojo threw the paper aside and grabbed onto your hips viciously thrusting himself into you.

“Look at me, let me see you wear my glasses as I fuck yo-you”

You turn your head towards him and he grinned, a flash of hunger appeared in his eyes. Gojo leaned in closer and planted a million kisses on your face.

“So…beautiful” he said between kisses, the rhythm he was fucking you at was now forgotten, he was getting restless and he needed you so bad.

“Do you think you’re going to beat me on the test tomorrow?” He asked.

“I- will.” You moaned, grabbing onto his arms and putting light pressure on it, your nails digging deep inside them.

“Oh will you?”

“Yes— ‘m gonna c-cum!” You cried out. Gojo moaned in response and brought you into a deep, passionate kiss.

A streak of cum spurted out and Gojo pulled out, watching your cum coat his cock like a blanket, he glanced at you before grabbing onto your hand and placing it on his wet, cock.

“Finish me off.”

You stare at his cock, out of breath and wrap your fingers around it, stroking it in slow, deliberate movements. Whimpered echoed the room and Gojo was already close to release.

“Keep—‘m almost there..yesss”

Gojo tilted his head back and groaned in pleasure as white beads stream out of his cock. He sighed in relief and stared at you breathlessly, fixing his glasses on your face before giving you one more kiss.

“Thank you, baby…lets get cleaned up now, yeah?”

-

The next day you did the test and prayed you passed Gojo. This time the results were meant to release on the same day.

When school ended you and Gojo stood next each other and opened the results at the same time.

Gojo won.

— 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ —

[wstviewvidal]

breakfast- wanda maximoff x r

pairing: fwb!wanda x r

summary: after another night together, it’s hard to tell if wanda sees something past this agreement with you.

a/n: this is the first thing i’ve written in the longest time so im actually super nervous to even put this out. but y oh well?. if u guys don’t like it literally don’t tell me because i’m sensitive and will cry.

edit: pt 2

minors do not interact

“have you thought about what you want to do yet?” wanda asks, rolling to the other side of the bed to retrieve her phone from her night stand, the blanket slipping enough to show her bare back.

a small groan of frustration escapes your throat as you throw a pillow at her face from right next to her, “can you shut up about a plan? i really don’t see a point in doing anything for my birthday. i mean, the last time we went out, aggie almost sold us out”

wanda has always been a step ahead of you, in every way, shape, and form. when you have girls’ nights with your friend group, she knows exactly what you’ll order, the fact that you drink water right after a soda, how long it’ll take for you to get cold and steal her jacket (that she was never going to use and only brought for you)

maybe that’s the reason you fell for her, maybe that’s the reason you’ve been stuck in this endless cycle of being friends with benefits with her.

wanda scoffs and rolls her eyes, “why not? we used to always have count downs for your birthday when we were younger”

that’s true. when you two were still in college, the month leading up to your birthday would be filled with the two of you texting each other ‘two weeks!’ ‘four days!’ ‘tomorrow!’

with a sigh, you get up from the bed and redress yourself with wanda’s black button down and a pair of her pajama shorts.

wanda watches as you dress, playing with a loose thread on her comforter, admiring how you look in her clothes with a glint in her eyes that you can’t quite place.

or maybe you’re just too scared to think it means more than that.

“i don’t know,” you say with a small defeated sigh as you put your hair in a ponytail, “i think the whole ‘birthday joy and excitement’ wore off over time.”

wanda lets out a soft chuckle, propping herself up on an elbow while looking at you with a small smirk.

“jesus, you sound like an adult. when did that happen?”

letting out a small exhale of a laugh, “is that what we are?”

wanda smiles softly at you as you notice her chest is littered with small marks and a bite mark on her left collar bone, reminders of last night. the sunlight peeking through the shut curtains illuminates her face and shows off her green irises, the ends of her hair lighter than they were a few months ago.

she gets out of bed and throws on baggy black sweats and an old t-shirt she’s had since she was seventeen.

a small giggle leaves your lips as you see the shirt, the same deftones shirt you’d gifted to her that same birthday.

picking at her ‘just rolled out of bed’ appearance, “looking hot, wands”

wanda looks over at you, smirking as she passes by you to get to the kitchen and giving you two small but firm taps on your left cheek, “it’s what got you into my bed last night, isn’t it?”

a small blush covers your cheeks, your face now feeling hot after wanda’s flirty tease. taking a deep breath and trying to cover it up before you walk out into her apartments kitchen, you murmur to yourself, “jesus christ”

wanda moves skillfully around her kitchen as she cooks a simple breakfast, which she usually hates making since she’s not a breakfast person, but knowing you’ll have a busy day is the only reason she’s putting herself through the hassle.

“you know,” she begins with her back facing you as she plates the food, “celebrating you is probably one of the easiest things i’ve ever done”

your heart stops for a second. wanda’s not one to say romantic things like this. is this meant to be romantic? or is this wishful thinking?

“please let us celebrate?” almost in a pleading tone, almost.

sighing softly with a small pout adorning her lips, “if you don’t want a party, at least let me take you out.. just us two”

the memory of the two of you at a party when you two were freshly engaged in this new agreement slowly creeps into your mind.

“you ready, bub?” wanda whispers into the crown of your head, giving you a soft forehead kiss as she cradles the side of your face.

the party’s atmosphere has slowly become one of your worst nightmares: sweaty bodies, terrible mixed drinks, and oddly placed furniture.

“please,” you say softly as you lean into her hold, “i wanna go home, i don’t like it here”

a soft chuckle escapes her lips, she knew you wouldn’t make it two hours at this party, but you needed to go out after being cramped inside during midterm season.

“whatever you want,” she replies with a smile. grabbing your hand softly, she leads you through the crowd towards the front door.

“where are you two lovebirds going?” a familiar voice asks as you make it two feet from the door, agatha.

lovebirds. is that what you two looked like? sure, the topic of putting a label on it hasn’t come up.. but then again, you two never go on dates.

unless you count the weekly rendezvous in wanda’s apartment dates.

“i’m taking her home,” wanda replies, moving you behind her slowly and away from agatha.

agatha smirks, placing her hand on her hip in an almost teasing way, “taking her home, huh?”

wanda gives a pleading look to agatha, silently begging her to keep her silence.

agatha straightens up after rolling her eyes, but not before saying a quick quip about their not-so-secret friends with benefits dynamic.

“you’re no fun,” she mumbles under her breath and walks off.

wanda lets out a sigh of relief and guides you with a hand behind your back to her car.

with a small groan, you sit down and begin eating, avoiding her sentence.

you’re almost afraid of people seeing you like that again— clinging to someone who doesn’t see a future with you, just using you as a layover on the way to their real destination.

“please?”

with a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you reluctantly agree.

wanda’s eyes light up and a huge grin appears on her face, “thank you, bub. i’ll plan a party here for you with just our closest friends and then i’ll take you out the night after.”

bub. she hardly ever calls you that anymore, it’s almost like a blast from the past when it slips her lips.

it feels like your heart is physically aching at the sound of it, a reminder of how much simpler time used to be— before your feelings for her got too complicated.

as you two got older and life happened, it seemed as though the two of you stopped being so flirtatious and just saw each other as what you two had agreed on: friends with benefits.

that wasn’t at all what you wanted. in all honesty, the idea of wanda being romantic with another girl that wasn’t you made you sick to your core, it made your heart clench.

but part of you always had the lingering thought and feeling that wanda wanted something else, someone else.

after all, just because the two of you always found each other in bed often didn’t mean she didn’t date other people and have flings.

“you’re such a sweetheart,” you say softly as you continue with your eyes on your plate.

what you didn’t see was wanda trying to hide a smile and blush behind a fork full of food.

[inkdrinkerworld]

hi! maybe logan getting worried/protective over u after u get injured during a mission? 🥺🩷

Canon level (based on the comic books mostly) wounds and violence (it’s nothing too gory besides the wound description)

“Move out of my fucking way Scott,” you hear him before you see him which isn’t really a good sign.

You’d gone on a mission the same time he was out on one too, and though it had just been a simple recon mission, things got heated quick.

Zeitgeist was a bitch like usual, and you weren’t as fast as you might’ve been had there not been a falling child to save.

So now, your entire right side is rippled under the acid of his spit and you can’t deny the agony you’re in.

“She’s fine,” Scott says but you know your boyfriend.

He pushes past him and is at your side almost instantly. Your eyes take a moment to adjust to him being so close but when they settle on his face, the clear panic and worry is clear to see.

“I’m fine, Lo.” You say, teeth gritted through each word as Charles asses the wound.

You’re no longer in your suit, just in a pair of pants and a sports bra, your hair is drenched and Logan can only guess they just hosed you down to get rid of the majority of the acid.

It still burns like a bitch and you can’t hide that from the man who knows you so well.

“Bullshit,” he grumbles, hands brushing back the hair from your face. “Can’t you all do something instead of just fucking staring at it?”

The question is packed with worry that none of them are accustomed to seeing on Logan, but you swear you see Ororo smirk.

She’d been the only one to notice his soft underbelly- well beside you.

“We’re waiting for Hank to bring the antidote Logan,” you say gently, stroking his tense forearm. “I’m fine baby.”

It’s the ‘baby’ that softens him, that gets him to take a deep breath and press his forehead into yours.

“Fucking scared me,” he murmurs and the others all find themselves busy- besides Scott, he wants something to tease the man about as per the rules of their friendship. “Don’t do that shit again.” His hands are on your neck, thumbs under your chin so you can’t look away.

“I didn’t really have a choice, I had to save the kid.” He nods, pressing his lips to your temple. Hank saves him from blowing up again when you wince and the green acid bubbles a little more.

“Fucking finally, what took you so long?” He grunts, Hank only shaking his head as he pours the blue liquid over your wound.

“Fuck,” you cry out, hand itching to press against your side or slap Hank’s hands away but Logan stops you.

“Fucking say something next time, yeah big guy?” He growls but then you hiss again and he’s all focused on you again.

“You’re good, you’re okay bub.” It’s whispered straight into your hairline and if you were a little more cognizant you’d notice that Logan can’t stop glaring at the wound.

“We caught it in time, the antidote won’t reverse the burn completely, but it will be soothing it and fixing the majority of it.” Hank pulls on gloves, the snap of it on his wrist filling the room. “There’s a salve you need to put on it for the healing process.”

“Thanks Hank,” you whisper, much too tired for much else. “Can I go now?” Logan notices then how utterly exhausted you look and sets aside his anger and worry for a moment to dote on you.

“Yes, but Logan monitor the wound and how it heals over the next few weeks. The skin should be back to normal when the salve is done.” The professor says and Logan nods dutifully before picking you up off the med and taking the salve from Hank.

“C’mon, pretty girl.” He takes you back to your room and is smearing the salve on your side. “You’re not doing that shit again, I swear to whatever there is.”

You give him a small smile, “Getting hurt is part of it Logan, I can’t avoid that completely.”

He frowns and then presses a kiss right above your wounded side. “You don’t get how scary it is to hear, ‘she’s in the infirmary, an acid wound’, I nearly ripped Bobby in half.”

You stretch a hand to bury in his hair. “I know baby, but this was just a one time thing. Zeitgeist isn’t exactly unscathed either.”

Logan smiles, his lips pressing into your unblemished skin again. “Fire burns Logan, what can I say.”

“You’re fucking perfect, you know that?” You giggle a little, more so when he holds your cheeks and stamps a kiss to your lips. “Get some shut eye, m’gonna get one of the kids to make you soup.”

[sturnlsstuff]

GHOSTFACE!CHRIS HAS BEEN IGNORING YOU & YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT.

[ angst, cursing, mentions of murder ] — part two.

the feeling of being ignored never bothered you much, usually if someone did that to you your response was simple— you did the same. you didn't care at all, not going to waste your time on someone who didn't want to talk to you.

so why did you feel like this now?

chris didn't talk to you for over a week. at first, you were too busy with your classes and the material you had to catch up on to notice it, but eventually the fact that he wasn't texting you back at all started to weigh on you. the feeling of not knowing why made you anxious, catching yourself at thinking that maybe he had his own 'stuff' to take care of, but it wasn't a problem for him before. so something was going on.

after a few more ignored messages again, you decide to take matters into your own hands and that's how you found yourself at the frat house, entering chris's room, which turned out to be empty. you sigh, deciding to just wait until he comes back from wherever he is.

you look around his room, rolling your eyes at the empty pepsi cans and clothes laying all over the place, which you decide to pick up with the intention of organizing them just at least a little bit, but then the door opens and your eyes fall on chris. shirtless, sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips, a bag of chips in his hand as he stuffs a handful into his mouth, slamming the door shut with his foot.

his eyes finally find you awkwardly standing there, slight surprise on his face before he hides it. stopping in the middle of the room, he looks at his clothes in your hands. "the fuck you doin'?" he frowns, licking his fingers clean.

"you've got quite a mess here," you reply casually.

"and who are you, my mother?" he scoffs, walking over to you and ripping the clothes from your hands only to throw them back to the floor, almost daring you to try and pick them up again.

"no?"

"then don't act like one," he flops down onto the bed, putting the bag of chips next to him and reaching for his phone, completely ignoring your presence. and that just confirmed your suspicions— he really had been ignoring you this past week. you had to find out why, knowing it couldn't be your fault.

"what's your problem?"

"my problem?" there's a hint of annoyance in his tone while he continues scrolling, without giving any glance in your direction. "you're the one who's here when i didn't even tell you to come over."

"well, it'd be hard when you don't even reply to me."

"i'm a busy guy."

"for sure," now there's a scoff leaving your lips. "busy killing people?"

this makes him finally look at you, clearly pissed off, his jaw clenched. "the fuck do y'want, huh?" he sits up, not looking away for even a second. "coming here, tryna arrange my things, as if you owned the place and now you can't even mind your business?"

"can't mind my business?" you raise your eyebrows, shaking your head in disbelief. "my business is the fact you're ignoring me without a reason and act like an asshole."

"m'not ignorin' you, just clearly got overwhelmed spendin' everyday with your bitchy ass, can't understand that?" he stands up, "even nick asks me why don't i have time for hanging out anymore and m'not dreamin' of explaining why."

his words were like a punch to the gut. you were aware you both got a little carried away and were seeing each other constantly, but it wasn't that big of a deal. and it affects you harder than you'd like to admit. "then maybe quit being a ghostface so you'll have time for your brothers."

he takes a step closer to you, tension radiating from his body, voice low and gruff, "who do you think you are, huh? jus' admit y'want my attention all the time 'n stop stickin' nose into my life."

"oh, your attention is the last thing i want, don't worry." you speak in your usual sarcastic tone, trying not to show how his words were making you feel. "act like a man for once and at least tell me if you want this to end, instead of acting like a child who can't communicate."

"want what to end? us having sex? why, when is the only thing y'can offer me?"

chris's words hit too close to home, reminding you that what was going on between you two was only sexual. you knew it, didn't expect anything more— but you felt like that slut everyone thought you were when your ex spread false rumors about you. and what was even worse was the fact chris knew it while saying that.

you hold his gaze, ignoring how your heart sinks. "fuck you," you hiss through your teeth, putting all the hate you felt for him into it, desperate to hurt him as some form of defense. "you're such a pathetic hypocrite, chris. explaining your actions by the fact that other guys have no morals and aren't respectful, when you do the same. you're the biggest asshole of them all and you probably hate yourself for it so you take it out on them. so what can you offer me besides sex? your awful attitude? no, thanks."

chris falls completely silent, almost giving the impression that he didn't hear you, but from the annoyance written all over his face, you knew that he did hear very well. he wasn't able to ignore this like he was ignoring your texts. "the only pathetic thing here is the fact you claim to hate me yet you came here."

"oh, i still hate you, don't worry." you reply.

"then the fuck you doing here?"

it was a good question— too good for your liking, it made you look like a fool. if you didn't care, you wouldn't even think of coming here to talk to him.

"wasting time, apparently." you say, hating how your voice cracked, the anger growing within you, while chris's expression stays unreadable. "you're clearly too immature to talk like normal people, so—"

"yeah, yeah," he scoffs and rolls his eyes, his tone sharp, like he was exhausted by the very thought of explaining this. "look, i thought you were smarter than this," he says, his words cutting through the space between you. "i never promised you anything, not once. you ain't my girlfriend, and honestly, i thought you got that by now, but clearly i was wrong. not my fault you got attached or some shit, so quit that stupid talk, 'cause i don't owe you anything. it gotta finally click in your head, 'cus m'not sayin' this again."

his words hanging in the air, heavy, like they'd been pressed into the glass. they're echoing in your head, louder than the ringing silence in the room, while you try to feel anything— anger, maybe, or relief— but there was nothing anymore. you already knew this, chris wasn't your boyfriend, you had no right to be mad at him for not replying to you, but the feeling of being ignored by him weighed on you.

you just stare at him, knowing he's probably expecting some kind of response, maybe even another sarcastic remark, that would show him how much you don't care. because you don't— right? you should laugh it off, tell him to go to hell and move on with your life. you never expected promises from anyone, least of all him. you weren't surprised, should've been okay with the reality of it all, knowing that you didn't want to be with chris, never even expecting that, but damn. it still stung.

your chest tightening, a dull ache spreading through you, a small half-laughing, half-sighing breath leaving your lips. it wasn't supposed to feel like this, the disappointment you felt flickered in your eyes.

"right. got it," you nod, turning away to leave. and that was it— you wanted to say more than that, to show him you're not aching inside, but the other words got stuck, caught in the mess of your chest.

and you left his room, pretending you didn't feel every word he'd just said as if it was a weight you'd been carrying all along.

autor note: uh oh what's going onnnnnn.... 🤨

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[adieutristana]

heyy!! can i ask for a Arcane characters x Enforcer!Reader?? I really like your writing!! (Sorry, english is not my first language, so I don't know if the sentence is correct...)

-🦇

of course! thank you for the request <3

i didn’t put jinx or sevika in this one because i honestly can’t see them being with an enforcer, sorry :( also am i at the stage where i have emoji anons?? i love it

characters included; vi, mel, caitlyn, maddie

summary; headcanons of arcane women dating an enforcer.

tags/warnings; fluff, mentions of war and combat, mentions of drinking

vi;

✧.* after being released from stillwater, vi was incredibly reluctant to trust enforcers. of course she was, after what they had put her and her family through.

✧.* vi had been exploring piltover a bit on her own, though it went against her better instincts. the unknown had always fascinated her, what could she say? the diverse artistry that was unique to piltover, the fresh air, the music, it was an entirely new world. although it could never come close to her home of zaun, it was still fascinating.

✧.* during one of her first visits, she'd come across you in a crowded shop. a girl, a pretty girl, minding her own business and trying to get her groceries. though vi tried to resist, she couldn't help the need to approach you and talk to you- even if about something simple.

✧.* surprisingly, you took it well and were flattered. she'd asked for your name, asked if you were from around here, all of the questions that weren't too personal yet still intimate enough that she got a general idea of who she was talking to.

✧.* and despite being in piltover, despite being in an expensive grocery shop that she knew she wouldn't get anything from (zaun's cuisine is much better, thank you), she couldn't help wanting to see you again.

✧.* "i- uh, i'd love to meet with you sometime, if you're interested," vi'd said, her hand clasped behind her back and blue eyes flitted to the side. it was a bit adorable, you'd thought- this brawny, tough girl, so nervous because of you. "i'd love that. just let me know a time and place, okay?"

✧.* you'd begun meeting up about twice a week, that was about as often as you could manage with your work. you'd hit it off instantly, laughing over drinks and chatting about your lives maybe a bit too early. however, vi had never asked what you did for work, so you never thought it relevant to bring up. if you told her you couldn't meet a specific day because of work, she left it. she always wanted to keep a respectful distance; you were still getting to know each other, after all.

✧.* however, vi did eventually find out on a date, walking around the city where she'd seen the shiny gold of your badge peeking out of your badge.

✧.* "hey, uh... what's that?" she'd asked, careful and nervous. she didn't want to make any assumptions, but this was definitely concerning to her, it was the last thing she'd expected from the kind girl she'd been seeing for the past month and a half.

✧.* "oh, this? my badge, for work," you'd hummed, pulling it out of your bag to hold up. "i'm an enforcer."

✧.* "hold on- you, you never told me," she'd responded, a slightly exasperated edge to her voice. "it never came up," you'd sighed, placing the badge back in your bag. "what, is it... a problem?"

✧.* vi had hastily explained to you her past, her family's complicated history with enforcers and piltover as a whole. the destruction they'd brought, and loss they'd caused. but what surprised her is that you listened, you told her that you understood, and that you'd come from a similar background, despite living in piltover. you'd wanted to join the enforcers to hopefully change the system from within.

✧.* and vi took this as a good sign- that, and the fact that you'd never given her a reason to not trust her prior to this. so within a few more weeks, the two of you began dating.

✧.* to your surprise, vi warmed up to your occupation rather quickly! she was still loyal to her home, she always would be. yet she kisses your cheek with her strong arms wrapped around you from behind, helping you get ready in the morning. she brings you coffee when she knows you have breaks, and she always, always asks you, "how was work?"

✧.* i think vi would always be at least a little bit on the fence about your job. she'd never completely accept it, but she accepts and loves you, as long as you're willing to give her the grace she needs.

✧.* and if anything, being with vi gives you even more incentive to be better and advocate for change. you want better for her, for her friends and (only) family, you desperately want the gap between your worlds to be closed. every time you see her eyes, or hear her laugh, or see the lanes where she grew up, that feeling intensifies.

mel;

✧.* the two of you had met while mel was off duty, simply strolling around markets. it was one of her few days off that month, so the woman had wanted to make the most of it. take herself out for a nice meal, maybe support some local vendors while she was at it. a self-care day, if you will.

✧.* she'd spotted you checking out a booth with various beaded jewelry displays, still in uniform. you must've been on a lunch break, she supposed, but even from the back, mel found you intriguing. she approached the same booth, looking over the various pieces offered. this crafter was talented, no doubt, but she was more interested in speaking to you. although mel has never been one to act too quickly, something about you was different.

✧.* and when she approached you, you might have just jumped out of your skin. "oh, what's that look for?" she'd chuckled, a light smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "i- you're mel, mel medarda." "i am," she confirmed with a hum. "but i'd like to talk about you, if that's alright."

✧.* you'd gone on several dates with mel. local parks, visits to both your home and hers (which was just as lavish and beautiful as you were expecting), long candlelit dinners, and simple walks around the city during warm weather. every moment spent with the woman, you felt the anxiety melting off of you in waves. she was a councilwoman, a medarda, yet so kind, understanding, and compassionate.

✧.* you'd both talked about your work extensively as well, with mel throwing in comments like, "those people have such strange ideas sometimes," or, "i'd like to think i'm making a difference, but things feel so stagnant sometimes." to which you'd respond, "i know what you mean," or, "i'm in the same situation. i mean- not the same, but you get it."

✧.* mel had even begun to ask for some of your input. this was letting herself become a bit more vulnerable, which is what told you that she was starting to trust you- yet she knew that the enforcers had thoughts about the council, and wanted to hear your opinions. what were they doing right? is there anything, from an outside perspective, that you think she could be doing better? if there's anything mel is, it's considerate. she genuinely does care for the people of piltover.

✧.* before long, the two of you became an official couple. you'd decided to keep it private, since mel didn't like to let her personal life and work intertwine, and she didn't want to draw unwanted attention to you. it was an arrangement that worked out for the both of you- you could live your lives peacefully in public as companions, but live as lovers behind closed doors.

✧.* she knows that both of your occupations are essential- one can't exist without the other, so work does play a significant part of your relationship, even if you try to avoid it. eventually, though, the two of you come to embrace it.

✧.* she meets up with you often after work, taking you into her gentle arms and pressing her glossed lips to your temple. "i missed you," she'll say, whispering into your hair. "hopefully your work day was better than mine, hm?"

✧.* you'll often be in mel's home, her head rested on your shoulder after helping you out of your uniform and helping each other clean up. simply enjoying the quiet night air and each other's company, as well as the way her fingers slot perfectly between your own. "long day?" she'd whisper. "yeah, you could say that," you'd respond, giving a gentle squeeze to her hand. "but you always make it better."

caitlyn;

✧.* you'd met at work. you were brought on as a junior officer, training with a group of other young adults. you knew of caitlyn; you knew that she was a kiramman, that she was destined for greatness under her family's influence. that she was a determined and reliable enforcer, who many of your colleagues held in high regard.

✧.* yet it wasn't until you saw her in person, took her in and saw her shoot, that you'd understand just why the woman was so influential. she was intelligent, pragmatic, quick on her feet, with incredible reflexes. caitlyn is something that any enforcer would aspire to be, not only because of her status as a kiramman.

✧.* caitlyn was training you for a few days, and during that time, you'd become close rather quickly. being in close proximity like that, you were nervous at first- who wouldn't be? but caitlyn was professional, she was helpful, she was kind. your conversations had turned from enforcer procedures and shooting techniques to your families, your education, your hobbies, your hopes and dreams.

✧.* by the end of your training period, you and caitlyn considered each other close friends. yet more than that, you felt something more charged between the two of you. something more than a simple friendship between collegeagues.

✧.* "good work," she'd said, giving you a light smile and patting your shoulder. "you've impressed me- keep practicing, and you'll climb the ranks in no time." you'd given a smile in return, seeing the warmth in caitlyn's eyes. yet you couldn't help the need to do something- it was as if your feet moved on their own, stepping closer to the woman to press a light kiss on her cheek. "thank you," you'd whispered.

✧.* you expected some kind of negative reaction from caitlyn. her pulling back, yelling at you, maybe even cutting your friendship off. but she'd surprised you by leaning into the touch. she didn't reciprocate right away, but she embraced it, and wished you goodbye.

✧.* the two of you began dating shortly thereafter, but decided to keep your relationship relatively quiet at first. you couldn't have superiors knowing that colleagues were fraternizing, so it was your secret for a while. yet, caitlyn made it clear to you that she was okay going public whenever you were- "just let me know, okay? we'll take things at your pace, but i'm ready."

✧.* but the moment that revealed your relationship wasn't exactly... expected. you'd met in her quarters, sat on her desk while she stood before you and captured her lips with yours. it was quick, rushed, it carried emotions words couldn't quite capture yet. though when your superior opened the door without knocking, you swore you've never backed away from somebody so quickly.

✧.* though, to your surprise, there was little to no reaction. your supervisor was wide-eyed and paused, but quickly walked out, and you didn't hear anything of it afterwards.

✧.* "so... what do you say we tell the others?" you'd chuckled, still a bit flushed and breathless. caitlyn was much too embarrassed to respond at this point, but she nodded slowly.

✧.* the two of you have decided to not risk the quarters anymore (most of the time), but as soon as you're home, away from watchful eyes and the public, you're wrapped in each others' embrace again. caitlyn helping clean any wounds you may have sustained or vice versa, you kissing her temples- talking about everything and nothing after a long day.

✧.* "mm, you got pretty beat up out there," you'd murmur, wrapping thin gauze around one of caitlyn's ankles. a blow to her legs, and she was bleeding and bruised. thank the gods that was the worst of it, though. "i'm alright, darling. really," she'd smile, but you wouldn't have any of it. "shh, just let me take care of you this once. okay?"

maddie;

✧.* you and maddie were recruited around the same time, and brought to train together. in the time leading up to receiving 'junior officer' status, you'd both caught the other's eye. small talk led to goofing off in the quarters during break, which led to seeing each other after sessions, which led to feelings neither of you could exactly define.

✧.* maddie has always been rather forward, though, you'd found. never one to beat around the bush when it came to her feelings or desires, so you're not sure why you expected any different from the girl when it came to you.

✧.* she'd approached you after a day of long training. you were in a back room changing into casual clothing to walk home. maddie had swung the door open- quickly shutting it once she realized what she walked into, but rushed in as soon as you gave her the okay.

✧.* "hey, so sorry about that-" she'd begun, a nervous smile tugging at her lips. "don't worry about it, you didn't know.. what's up?"

✧.* it was then that maddie confessed that she'd started liking you pretty soon after your first meeting, that she'd always enjoyed your company and wanted to see you outside of work. to her surprise, you felt the exact same way, you just weren't so forthcoming about your own feelings.

✧.* "we can do something right now," you'd offered, swinging your bag over your shoulder and gesturing towards the door with your head. "walk with me."

✧.* maddie didn't have to be asked twice. she was following closely to the side of you, chipper as ever despite a long day of tactical training. you don't know how she does it, yet it's charming somehow.

✧.* once you reached the lot of your apartment, you'd turned to maddie and given her a soft smile, a silent 'thank you' for walking home with you. a show of your appreciation for her, and the budding affection between you. though maddie surprised you herself, pressing a light kiss to your cheek before walking off. "see you tomorrow!" she'd shouted over her shoulder.

✧.* shortly thereafter, you'd begun officially dating. maddie has never been secretive, so she never bothered hiding your relationship from your colleagues. she doesn't exactly flaunt it, yet if anyone asked, the girl will undoubtedly start gushing about her 'perfect, beautiful girlfriend.'

✧.* the two of you are frequently assigned to jobs and tasks together due to supervisors seeing how well you work together, even in a professional environment. of course those jobs will be done with a few stolen kisses and surprise embraced throughout, but you get it done regardless. you make a good team!

✧.* target practice together! maddie has always been a much better shot than you, but luckily, she's always glad to help. she'll stand behind you- one hand planted on your waist, the other on your rifle to help you aim better.

✧.* "ah... a little right, up a bit more- there!"

[iamnotoriginalphil]

A Study in Forever (Professor!Agatha Harkness x f!Reader)

Synopsis: Rio returns, expecting you to be gone. Instead, Agatha chooses to teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: Voyeurism, fingering (R receiving), edging, exhibitionism, possessiveness, objectification, orgasm delay, dom!Agatha, swearing

Tags: @sasheemo @buttercandy16 @chlondykebar @midnight-lestrange @babybeeelle @dontsblameme@grilledcheeseandguavajelly @fuckedupforkhahn @latedawnsearlysunsets92

The summer was dripping past in long days and soft nights. Moving into Agatha’s house had been as simple as shoving some clothes in her wardrobe and books on her bookcase. The summer heat had made you lazy without the need to constantly produce work for Agatha. And with that came lounging around the house.

Agatha had spent plenty of time telling you that draping over her couch was not going to work as seduction. And then she’d descend on you and burn you up with her mouth. It certainly seemed to work as a seduction tactic.

It probably helped that the heat left you wearing very little clothing. Shorts, crop tops, bikinis on the few attempts you’d made to go swimming. Each time her hands would be on your skin and you’d forget whatever it was you’d been trying to do. You couldn’t complain, knowing exactly what you were doing when you put on those clothes.

You were lying on her couch, under the fan, a worn paperback dangling from your fingers. Your eyes were closed, feeling the air waft over your bare skin, half asleep in the warm cocoon of the summer heat. Agatha had locked herself in her office under the grumbled excuse of having to actually get some work done. You’d grinned and sent her off with a lingering kiss, knowing she’d come find you sooner or later. She always did. It was like she couldn’t keep away from you.

It was one of the things you loved about her.

A knock sounded on the front door. You startled, the loud noise not something you’d been expecting. It was the middle of the afternoon and you knew Agatha wasn’t expecting anyone. She usually told you to make sure you weren’t wandering around the house half naked. Not that you thought she’d really have a problem with that. Not if she could stake her claim in front of everyone.

You knew she’d been thinking about that whole voyeurism dream you’d shared with her.

You swung your legs off the sofa, knowing Agatha probably wouldn’t have heard from behind the heavy office door she’d shut in your pouting face. Pulling the door open, you weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe one of the neighbours. Sharon had grown especially friendly over the last few weeks.

Rio was definitely the last person you expected to be there.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Her perfect face was marred with a look of disgust. Pushing past your initial shock, you let a smile take over your face, doing your best to do that sparkling thing Agatha accused you of doing to get your way.

“I live here,” you replied.

“So you’re still around,” Her head tilted to the side, “I can’t say I was expecting that.”

“I know,” you said.

“Is Agatha here?” she asked, dark eyes narrowing.

“She’s kind of busy at the moment but I’ll let her know you stopped by,” you said, already beginning to close the door.

Her hand slammed into it, holding it open. You pursed your lips, but let her lean towards you.

“Go tell her I’m here, little girl,” she said, her voice a hiss.

“If she wanted to see you, she’d be in contact,” you said, “I think her silence tells you enough.”

You’d won the war, you’d gotten the girl, you weren’t letting this intimidating woman come in and fluster you enough to steal your place in Agatha’s life. Her hand reached out, curling around a strand of your hair. She tugged on it, hard enough to feel a sharp pain in your scalp. It was nothing like when Agatha pulled on your hair, none of the liquid heat melting through your veins.

“Trust me, she’ll want to see me,” she whispered, pulling you closer to her.

“If I’ve taught you anything, pet, it’s not to trust such a self serving bitch like this.”

A hand slid around your waist, chin digging into your shoulder. You lent back against the familiar body, relaxing at her steady presence. Rio let go of your hair, straightening again as her eyes swept over the picture you made with Agatha. You knew how you looked wrapped up in her arms, comfortable and simply hers. You liked it, having her claim staked in front of someone who so obviously wanted it instead.

“What do you want?” Agatha asked, voice chilling in a way that turned it to ice.

“Since you’ve found someone to stick around, I thought I’d offer my services to teach her exactly how to please you,” she said, her eyes sliding from you to her, lips curling up in a familiar smirk.

“I think I’ve got it covered,” you said, “I’ve heard no complaints from her.”

“Because I have none. You’ve been doing wonderfully, kitten.” Her lips pressed to the vulnerable skin behind your jaw, making you shiver and press back into her. She chuckled, her fingers splayed over the bare skin of your stomach, nails gently dragging over it.

Dark eyes zeroed in on the hand on your stomach, an interested tilt to her head. You felt your breath catch, knowing she was watching you, wondering what she was thinking, seeing exactly how much Agatha wanted you. Your lips parted, the heat you felt under your skin unexpected but not unpleasant.

“You’re not even going to invite me in for a refreshing glass of lemonade?” she asked, gaze dragging back up to your face, “I’ve come such a long way to visit.”

“What do you think, pet? Should we let her in?” Agatha asked, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“One drink wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” you said, grinning when her nails dug in.

The trouble with you was you were beginning to enjoy flaunting your relationship with Agatha. You wanted Rio to see it, to have to face the fact that you’d won, to rub it in her face. Agatha had made her decision and it was you.

She wasn’t needed anymore.

Your fingers tangled with Agatha’s as you led her to the back of the house, knowing it would annoy Rio. You pulled open the fridge door, the lemonade you’d made the day before waiting. Agatha’s hands were on your hips as you poured three tall glasses, ice cubes clinking against the sides. Her lips made a home on your neck. Rio was still watching. Your skin heated but you didn’t tell Agatha to stop.

“We can drink in the living room,” Agatha said after a moment.

She plucked one of the glasses from you, shoving the other across the counter at Rio. She caught it, hissing when some sloshed over the side onto the skin of her hand. Holding eye contact with Agatha, she licked it off, tongue slow as it dragged over her own skin. Her hand tightened around you, dragging you into the living room.

Rio settled on the couch, right where you’d been lounging. She lent back, legs spread, taking a long drink from her glass. Agatha sat in the armchair, one leg crossed over the other. You perched on the arm next to her, grinning when her hand landed on your thigh, fingers digging into your skin.

“You’ve built quite the little love nest for yourself here,” Rio said, her eyes focused on the hand on your leg.

“I don’t think it’s a love nest when we live together,” you replied, fingers winding through Agatha’s hair.

“You’ve moved in?” Her eyebrows raised for just a moment.

“That surprises you?” Agatha asked.

“Only because the last woman you lived with was me,” she said.

The way she was looking at Agatha was like she owned her. She had been the first and she probably had thought she would be the last but then you had come along and ruined all her plans. You weren’t going to let her ruin yours.

“And what a disaster that turned out to be,” Agatha drawled.

“I thought we had fun,” she said, long finger slow to draw along the rim of her glass, “you certainly seemed to enjoy being hidden away with me in very close quarters.”

“Until it became claustrophobic,” she replied.

“And now you have so much space. I’m sure you can go days without seeing one another,” she said, eyes flicking to you.

Agatha’s hand tugged on your leg. You slid off the arm of the chair into her lap. Molten in her hands, you let her spread your legs, forcing them to fall either side of both of hers as you lent back against her soft curves. Her chin rested on your shoulder as her hand pressed into your lower stomach.

“Lucky for me neither of us want that much space,” she said, lips brushing the underside of your jaw.

It was automatic, the way you tilted your head to give her more access. Dark eyes watched as she ran her tongue up the length of your neck before her teeth closed over your earlobe. You whimpered, the flutter of your pulse turning you breathless.

“Isn’t my pet so pretty?” Agatha asked, turning her gaze back to Rio, “how could I want to stay away from her?”

Rio hummed, not quite a proper response. Chilled fingers brushed over your skin, still wet from the condensation on the glass of lemonade she must have put down. Your lips parts and your muscles tightened under her touch. Her chuckle was low, a vibration you felt against you, the kind that said you were in trouble.

Or about to have a lot of fun.

“But I don’t like other people touching my toys,” she continued, hand beginning to trace patterns into your skin, brushing higher and higher up your body.

“I remember,” Rio replied, a rough hum, “but you never seemed to have a problem sharing with me.”

“This one’s different. She’s special,” she said, hand slipping under the hem of your crop top.

In the warm summer air the heat of her hand felt unbearable, and the thought of losing it was inconceivable. Lips pressed to the underside of your jaw. You wiggled in her lap, the low thrum of arousal familiar and comforting, and yet somehow indecent under the watchful gaze of Rio.

“No one’s that special,” Rio said.

“She is,” Agatha hummed, “the first taste I had of her I knew there was no one like her. I’d never get enough. If I could, I’d have her chained to my bed, at my beck and call, this pussy on demand.”

Her fingers played with the button of your shorts. She ignored the small noise you made. The way your breath stuttered out of your parted was ignored too.

“You’ve never tasted her. You’ve never heard what she sounds like when she comes. You’ve never seen the way she looks when she’d begging for her release,” she continued.

Her fingers popped open the button on your shorts. The other hand cupped your breast, over the top of your bra, squeezing it roughly. You made a small mewling noise, arching into her hand. Dark eyes raked over your body, lingering on where the hand was groping you.

“If you’d seen her come undone, you wouldn’t be giving her up either,” Agatha said.

“Are you offering?” Rio asked.

“You’ll never touch her,” she said as her hand pushed into your shorts, slipping into your underwear.

“You sure about that?” she asked.

“Go on, pet. Tell her. Will she ever touch you?” Agatha asks, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

Her fingers ghosted over your clit.

“No,” you managed to say, trying to sound as normal as possible. You were certain you’d failed from the way Rio’s gaze snapped down to your spread legs.

“And why’s that?” Agatha asked, keeping her voice to a gentle hum.

“Because I’m yours,” you replied.

Her fingers ran through your folds, feeling how wet you already were. Slow to circle your clit, she pressed her lips to yours in a gentle kiss, almost the complete opposite of what this situation had turned into. Your head fell back against her shoulder with a soft sigh.

“You see? I’ve trained her so well. I give her everything she needs. Why would she ever want someone like you?” Agatha taunted.

“You think she’ll stay with you? This young, pretty thing? She can find something better. You know I’m the only one who will stay with you forever,” Rio said.

“I’d rather take my chances with her,” Agatha replied.

She was being so slow with you. A teasing touch, soft and not nearly enough. You whined, turning your head towards her ear, wanting her to hear you. Her fingers dipped back down to your entrance, lingering there until you thought you would go mad.

“You’re free to leave at any time,” Agatha told Rio.

“If this is a game I don’t intend to lose,” Rio replied.

Her finger slid into you, so easily it was almost embarrassing. You whimpered, just loud enough to be heard, hips shifting. The hand she’d trailed up your shirt pulled the cup of your bra down, fingers pinching at your nipple. She was slow to roll it between thumb and forefinger, the hand between your legs stroking your inner walls in a way that was making it hard to catch your breath.

“No game,” Agatha hummed.

“Everything with you is a game,” Rio replied.

She lent forward, eyes growing more intent as they focused on your body. Fire was licking at your skin. Your hands clutched at the arms of the armchair, your nails digging into the soft leather.

“My pet isn’t a plaything,” Agatha said, right as her thumb ground against your clit.

Your moan was loud to your own ears. A sharp inhalation came from across the room. Dark eyes seemed to darken as they focused on your face. Under the spotlight of Rio’s attention, you felt yourself set alight. Your lips parted, eyes squeezing closed.

“Look at her. Isn’t she everything a person could want?” Agatha hummed.

Her thumb was moving in tight circles over your clit and you couldn’t breathe properly. Your hips tried to buck into her touch but without feet on the floor you couldn’t get any traction. Her tongue flicked at your earlobe before she found her home at your pulse point.

“I will admit you found a pretty little thing to occupy your time,” Rio agreed, her voice low. Your eyes fluttered open, finding her focused on where Agatha was kissing you, “but how long can she really satisfy you?”

“Just watch. Once you see, then you’ll understand how I could never grow tired of this,” she sighed before her teeth sunk into your skin.

You cried out, begging for more. She smiled into you your skin, tongue soothing over the bruise she had most likely left on your skin. She slid a second finger into you as her thumb slipped away from your clit. Whimpering, you hid your face against her neck.

“Go on, show her, pet,” she coaxed, “let her see you.”

You turned your face back to let Rio watch you. Agatha curled her fingers in reward, causing you to moan her name. You locked eyes with Rio. Her lips were pressed together, hands clasped, hanging between her knees.

Agatha’s thrusts were slow, the pace maddening. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it was making your head spin. You loved when she got rough with you, but this was almost like she wanted to see how far she could stretch your sanity.

“She’s so wet,” Agatha said, “so warm.”

“Agatha,” you whimpered.

“Shh, pet. The adults are talking,” she said.

You shut your mouth, doing as you were told. If you did, then she would reward you. You knew that. If you stopped distracting her, she’d let you come. She’d taught you so well. You would do anything she asked of you.

“See? Such a good girl,” she said, turning her attention back to Rio, “she does exactly what I tell her to.”

“I remember a time when you enjoyed being told what to do,” Rio said.

“I still do sometimes,” she replied, “when my pet has been particularly well behaved.”

“Is she as good as I am?” Rio asked.

“Better.”

Dark eyes, swimming in anger, returned back to you. You couldn’t even focus on her, the thumb back on your clit drawing tight circles, grinding against you until you were panting for breath. Her fingers curled, twisting inside you as her fingers harshly pinched your nipple. You yelped but you were arching into her touch, asking for more.

Rio was leaning closer, gaze focused on the hand in your shorts. You were so close, right on the edge, enjoying the way envy played over the other woman’s face so clearly. There was no way of knowing if she wanted to be you or be Agatha, or both.

“Don’t even think about touching her,” Agatha said, voice sharp.

Your cunt pulsed, loving when her voice became so commanding. Her chuckle was warm against your ear. Rio’s fingers clenched around her glass of lemonade, the ice almost completely melted. She lent back, her chest heaving, a flush still growing high on her cheeks as she watched.

“You’ll never touch her,” Agatha told Rio, “and you’ll never touch me again.”

“We’ll see if you still feel that way when this one has moved on too,” she replied but she didn’t sound so sure.

“Oh she’s not leaving me. She branded herself. She’s mine until she dies,” Agatha replied, and you could hear the smugness in her voice. She was proud of your actions. Even weeks later, her fingers still traced over the words inked on your skin, her name, over and over again until you thought she might wear your skin away.

You loved it.

“And I have complete control over her,” she continued, “don’t I, pet?”

“Yes,” you hissed as her thumb ground down even harder.

You were trembling, holding on for as long as you could. You knew the game she was playing, the example she was making of you. You weren’t going to let her lose face in front of Rio. She needed you to be good, to do this for her.

You would do anything for her.

“You must have spent a lot of time training her,” Rio said.

“Hardly,” she scoffed, not letting up on you for a moment, “she wants to please me.”

“But you enjoy punishment so much,” she said, her voice a caress, trying to taunt her into admitting you weren’t living up to her wishes.

“I enjoy a good girl so much more,” she hummed, “I like a toy that does as she’s told and doesn’t answer back.”

You definitely didn’t always do what you were told and you’d been known to answer back.

“That’s a lie, and we both know it,” Rio said.

“Perhaps, but she does it in such a delicious way I forget she’s pushing the limits,” she said before her lips brushed over your skin.

You were strung tight, trembling, doing everything you could not to fall over the edge. Her fingers were rough, moving in just the way she knew unravelled you. She was making it so difficult for you, and you assumed it was on purpose. She had to make it clear she wasn’t going easy on you. That even under pressure you still did as you were told.

That no one could give her what she wanted like you did.

“But since she’s being so well behaved today, she’s not going to come until I tell her she can,” she murmured, “will you, pet?”

“No,” you whimpered.

Tears pricked at your eyes, holding on so tight it was a physical ache. You were desperate. Her thrusts were fast now palm grinding against your clit. She was unforgiving, harsh in how she was treating you. The other hand was groping your breast, squeezing it, pinching at your nipple. When the tears fell, her teeth sunk into the skin of your neck.

Through the haze of the tears still leaking from your eyes, you saw Rio lean forward again. You squeezed your eyes shut, the heat of her gaze enough to make you breathless and wanton and needy. Agatha’s dark chuckle in your ear only made the whole thing worse.

“Do you see how hard she’s trying? She wants to please me so badly,” she said and you knew it was for Rio’s benefit.

“She is rather pretty when she cries like that,” she replied.

“And all for me,” Agatha said.

The conversation turned fuzzy after that, your entire brain focused on holding back your orgasm. You felt on fire. Every moment it only got worse, closer to turning to ash in Agatha’s lap.

“All mine,” Agatha purred.

You couldn’t stop the whimper that managed to slip past your parted lips. She didn’t reprimand you, her lips pressing to your temple.

“It’s okay, pet. You can come now.”

Your body shuddered in her arms, the relief washing through you. Letting go, you let the pleasure crash into you, the way it had been trying to for so long. You sobbed, pressing your face into her neck. The hand on your breast slipped out from under your shirt, stroking through your hair as she kept your face buried against her skin.

“You did so well for me, kitten,” she murmured against your temple, “you were wonderful.”

She eased you through it. Fingers slowing within you, her lips pressed soft kisses to your hairline. Once you’d stopped twitching in her arms, she slowly withdrew her hand from your shorts. Your arousal glistened on her fingers in the summer sunlight.

You grasped her wrist, pulling her fingers to your lips. You licked along them before sliding them into your mouth, your tongue licking her clean. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked on them the way you knew she liked.

You dragged your eyes over to Rio, feeling a sense of smugness. You were the one she’d been touching, and you were the one who had put on the show for her. Her own eyes were blown wide as they took you in.

“You can’t find anyone better than my pet because there is no one better. And she’s all mine,” Agatha said, sliding her fingers from your mouth, the arm around your waist tightening, “you can leave now.”

Rio’s eyes snapped to her, the look of anger flashing over her face. You cuddled back against Agatha, pulling your legs up to settle more comfortably against her body. She handed you her glass of lemonade, making sure you drank the entire thing down before putting down the empty glass. Her fingers slid into your hair, cradling the back of your head.

Her lips pressed to yours, kissing you deeply. You were boneless, melted against her, satiated and happy. She tucked your head back against your shoulder.

“Get out of my house,” she commanded, voice hardened as she realised Rio was still there on her couch.

“You bring me here and put on a show then tell me to leave without giving me mine?” she demanded.

“You showed up uninvited. Now get out,” she said.

You sighed as you burrowed closer to her, eyes sliding closed. A lazy afternoon nap sounded like a wonderful idea.

You weren’t sure how long you sat like that with her but when the front door slammed you jerked up. The couch had been vacated and Agatha was glaring out the front window.

“Next time we don’t invite her in for a drink,” you mumbled, finding your place against her shoulder again.

“You didn’t have fun?” she asked.

“I had fun with you,” you replied, “she was surplus to that.”

“Was she? Because I think you liked performing for her. You liked her watching,” she said, the fingers still tangled in your hair pulling.

“I did,” you agreed, “I really did.”

“And yet you still don’t want her to come back?”

You looked up at her, still feeling soft and sleepy, wanting nothing more than to stay in her arms. She wasn’t looking at you, the weight of her gaze having shifted back to the window. You wished you knew what she was thinking.

“Agatha, she makes you unhappy. As long as she does, I don’t want her anywhere near you,” you said.

Blue eyes darted down to you, finding you gazing up at her. The fingers in your hair slid out, gently tracing the curve of your jaw.

“You’d give up ever doing that again just for me?” she asked.

“I have more than enough just from you. Who cares if that never happens again as long as I have you. You’re all I want,” you replied.

She tilted your head up, kissing you until you were breathless.

“Well, I think we made our point, kitten,” she said.

“Mmhm,” you hummed, settling against her again.

“I doubt she’ll be back. She knows there’s no place for her in my life anymore,” she said, fingers carding through your hair.

“I’m all you need,” you mumbled, lips brushing the skin of her neck.

You felt her shiver, fingers tugging on your hair sharply. You kissed the underside of her jaw, feeling her arm tighten around you.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” she replied, “you were made for me.”

When she lifted you, her arms strong around your body, carrying you upstairs to your bedroom, you couldn’t agree more. You had been made just for Professor Harkness. And you were never letting her go.

[burrowdarling]

Celebrating You

Summary: The Bengals had beaten the Cowboys on the eve of Joe's birthday, so what better way to welcome him home than a birthday surprise.

Pairings: Joe Burrow x gf!reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, MDNI

Note: Hi! Happy Belated Birthday, Joe!! I hope you all enjoy, and love that we get to appreciate this man and everything he does!

Word count: 1.9k

Check out my Masterlist here!

Taglist: @burrowbarbie @definitelynotdomanique @one-sweet-gubler @plushkhiii @enchantedinfinity @iosivb9

Feel free to comment or message me if you'd like to be added to the list!

It had been weeks since this feeling, but they did it. The Bengals had beat the Cowboys and even though the win wasn’t pretty, a win is still a win. To finally see a smile plastered all over Joe’s face at the end of a game, the feeling you felt was indescribable. Joe had been beating himself up so much over the past few weeks, it was refreshing to see him celebrate with Ja’marr and the rest of the team. The two of them smashing donuts on each other's faces was priceless. Those would be the kinds of pictures and videos you’d look back on and smile. 

You could tell by the post game antics that Joe seemed to be in a good mood, a weight seeming to be off his chest during the post-game interview. It also meant that he would have a good travel day home, feeling yourself getting excited to see him at the thought. You wished you could've been there to celebrate with him properly on the eve of his birthday with this win, but you weren’t able to attend due to work. Joe understood entirely, though he wished the same.

This also gave you an idea on how you could spend your time before welcoming him home, wanting to go all out in every way possible to show your man you loved him. You wanted to take the opportunity to do something nice for him as both a post game win and something for his birthday. Having the day off for his birthday, you locked in for the rest of the night after the game on how exactly you wanted to celebrate your favorite person. You texted him a sweet birthday message at midnight Cincinnati time, knowing he would be fairly busy after the game. You were surprised when you heard your phone chime so quickly after, knowing it was Joe by your special text tone.

Thank you baby, I wish I could be there to spend the night with you. Tomorrow can’t come fast enough xx love and miss you loads

You smiled to yourself as you typed out a reply, setting your phone back aside for the night. You had a lot of work to do if you were going to do this right. 

You woke up bright and early the next morning, despite your late night of planning, to get a head start on the decorations you came up with. You wanted him to be surprised when he walked through the door. You loved birthdays as a way to celebrate your favorite people, giving them extra attention on their special day. Your love language was definitely gift giving and quality time, your cup being filled by showing others how much you loved them.

The first thing he would notice would be the ‘happy birthday Joey’ banner on the wall, having taken the time to make your own letters and string them up. You blew up some balloons and scattered them around the table downstairs along with some streamers. You went for the cheesy, massive ‘28’ balloons too for the fun of it. When you felt satisfied with how things were looking, you started to put together the gifts you had gotten him. You saw something about a gift for each of the five senses and figured that would be a great idea to really show him how much you care. For the man who could have anything he wanted, he wasn’t always the easiest to shop for.

For taste, you wanted to go the simple route and make something from scratch. You decided you’d make him his favorite dish so that way he could come home to a nice homemade meal, finishing with his favorite dessert. You’d already had this plan and had gone to the store over the weekend so you got to work on everything early. Luckily, you’d be able to let it cook while getting everything else ready.

For touch, you went with a couple different things having a hard time deciding on just one. You went for a sweater he’d been eyeing, excited to see him in it. You also went for a Lego set he’d been raving about. You always found it absolutely adorable when he’d get so excited over the nerdiest little things. It was something you absolutely loved about him. It brought out the energy in him that you didn’t see a lot during the season, knowing he had to be locked in each week with his rigorous schedule. 

Hearing was a tricky one as you weren’t really sure where to go with it. It was one you had to put some thought into and would maybe go with an experience instead of a thing. You had a couple different ideas for events in mind, figuring you could present him with some options based on his schedule and let him choose. Going out together wasn’t something you guys were able to do often due to the lack of privacy, but it was something you cherished when you could. 

For smell, you got him a refill on his favorite cologne. As weird as it sounds, his smell was something that you’d always found insanely attractive. It was a comfort thing for you too when you’d come home from a long day at work and just envelop yourself in his warmth, getting lost in the smell of him. 

For sight, you decided to be a little self-centered and make yourself a gift to him. It may be unoriginal, but you knew he wouldn’t mind. You went out shopping that morning to go and find the perfect set for him, something new and something he wouldn’t be able to resist you in. After the stress of the past few days, you knew he would need a stress reliever and you had just the thing in mind.

You’d also totally set the mood by lighting candles throughout the downstairs as well as scattering rose petals that led to the bedroom. On the table, you placed all of his gifts as the last touch, finally having them all set and labeled accordingly. All you had to do now was wait for him to arrive, having gotten a text from him saying that he landed and would be home soon.

When you heard the garage door open and shut, you got yourself into position. You sat up on the counter, the light low with the candles giving off a soft glow to the room. He walked in through the door, kicking off his shoes and calling out for you when he stopped short. His voice cut off at the sight of you, done up in your lace slip.

“Happy birthday Joey” you spoke, your voice low.

Without a word, he walked over to where you were sitting on the counter, moving your legs so he could slot himself between them to bring you into a bear hug. You giggled as he held you tight, almost as if he was scared you were going to disappear out of thin air.

“Thank you, baby. You didn’t have to do all of this for me” he said, almost in disbelief as he took in your decorations scattered around his place. The thought that you would go through all of this for him, knowing he hasn’t been as pleasant or as positive as he could be with you.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. What better way to celebrate my favorite person than to show him how much he means to me” you replied, voice laced with nothing but love and adoration for the man in front of you.

He brought you into a deep kiss, feeling the words he couldn’t quite get past his lips in the way yours moved together in sync.

“I know I haven’t been the best to you the past few weeks and that’s all on me. Everything has just been so heavy, this is the lightest I’ve felt in weeks. Thank you for making me feel so special” Joe professed, a slight blush becoming evident on his cheeks as he spoke. He tucked his head into your neck as a means of solace from his confession.

“I know you’re doing all that you can, it’s what I signed up for when I chose to be with you. I know things have been tough recently, but I am so damn proud of you and your perseverance with the team to not stop fighting. Your ability to get back up when things get hard is something I truly admire about you, Joey. You’re one of my inspirations to always go after what I want to achieve and not let what other people say about me define my feelings. So with all of that said, Happy fucking Birthday and congratulations on your win Joey” you said, hoping he was taking in every word and its full meaning.

Joe didn’t reply, just rested his forehead against yours and took a minute to be there with you, letting everything settle in his chest. The knowledge that you would be there for him through everything and anything, you were it for each other and it was extremely rare that he found someone as grounding as you to be his girl. When he pulled back, he took in your attire, or how little of it there was.

“All new just for me?” Joe questioned sweetly, fingers softly gliding over the material and settling his hands on your hips. His shift in the conversation to something he knows he can convey to you without needing the words to do so.

“Mhm, this is only one of many gifts. C’mon I have them all plan out for you, one for each of the senses.” You spoke excitedly.

You moved to hop off of the counter, but Joe blocked your exit. Confused, you looked at him with as innocent a look in your eyes as you could muster. When they met, you could see him darken at the sight, wondering what thoughts could be floating around in his head.

“Do we think those can wait? I haven’t seen my girl in days and there’s only one thing on my mind right about now” Joe said with a noticeable drop in his voice, as one of his hands slid to the back of your neck to bring you in for a kiss.

“But the food will be cold” you pleaded with minimal effort, knowing your excuse was useless against the lustful look in his eyes. It had heat rushing to your core and your mind racing at a million miles an hour.

“I bet it’ll taste delicious, but there’s something I want to taste more. You can’t just be sitting up here looking as sexy as you do and expect me not to take you first. You’re all I've thought about the entire trip home and the only thing I want to do right now is get you out of this and under me” Joe groaned, hands moving under you to lift you off the counter. You laughed, holding on from the sudden shift in position. 

He followed the petals to the bedroom where he took his time showing you how much he cared, both of you receiving gifts for all five senses.

[cosmousee]

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓕𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓢𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓽 😇💌

Hey everybody! I am back from yet another hiatus (I will stop doing that I swear).

Hope you all are doing well~

Today’s reading is on gentle whispers from spirit. Now it can be anyone, the universe, the spirits, the Gods, your ancestors, whatever you believe in. Just call upon them while choosing your pile and yeah~

Lets get on with the reading, and remember whatever doesn’t resonate, pass it on<3

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Dang, pile 1, it feels like you’ve been going through so much and for a while now. Like it feels like a never ending cycle of some shit which is always going on and you can’t catch a break.

You might feel you got a breather for one day and you feel that nice, we had a good day today and then your day ends up with something or the other happening and then you’re in that cycle all over again.

Feels so much like my past month, so, bestie, I really get you.

There’s so much, you might have been in constant fight or flight mode, having to put so much effort and time and your mind in order to do a task. And ofcourse life doesn’t let you do one task at a time, its constant multitasking and its not easy.

Having to source your own energy to sustain yourself every. Single. Day. oh my god. Even as I type this I can feel the tiredness, but still the zeal to get the work done, the fire in your hearts, that whatever happens you want to do the things you love. This might be a clash between many of your own passion projects, or you know just even life, that you find time to work on your art, your story, your side business and then also find time to do laundry.

Its been constant juggling, constant heartache, headache, you name it, for a while now.

The very first image spirit showed me was a fireplace. You know those ones you sit in front of during winters, sipping a cup of hot chocolate, or coffee or whatever.

Spirit wants you to realise that you’ve done enough, you’ve spent enough. Its time for you to take rest, take a breather. And chill for like a good few days. Of course hard work has its own place, but that does not mean that you’ll burn yourself out.

And if you feel that you know, you HAVE to toil away at the thing only then you’ll achieve things in life, my dear, please take a seat, and a blanket and your choice of drink (its fine if its alcohol because I totally get it–but responsible consumption).

This past week, spirit got real with me and went, “You’re not supposed to struggle so much, you’re not supposed to be uncomfortable so much.” They were teaching me that when things get difficult, sometimes it’s best to just remove yourself from that situation and go to a better place. Its as simple as saying ‘I deserve better’ and then just yeet yourself from there. I know its easier said than done, and I've fought with spirit alot on this, and I still do. Because even I feel that you gotta go past the uncomfortable to grow.

But sometimes the discomfort is there just to teach you that there is comfort if you just ask for it, if you just look for it. If you just say that you deserve to live comfortably it’ll be there. You’ll just have to take that decision, make that call, ask for help and you shall receive it. And you’ll receive it in such intensity and you'll be so dumbfounded that why were you suffering so much.

I yap alot and I dont stop here you might have to read so many things and just–yeah. On the ending note I just want to say that spirit really wants you to take care of yourself, pushing yourself to achieve things is one thing, but spirit doesn’t want you to live in extremely uncomfortable situations. You’re their literal baby and I know they can be difficult sometimes, to teach you things, but they always look out for you too. (I can feel my guides being like ‘told you so’, doesn’t change the fact that y’all get on my nerves so much)

Wish you well pile 1 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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Pile 2

Pile 2, spirit is so so so proud of you, your journey, how far you’ve come.

They are so happy and so proud of the things you’ve done. And it feels like its literally everything, it can literally just be the way you’ve done your hair and they’re like “You’re doing amazing sweetie!” and they have their camera on and they’re recording you.

I mean in my head it feels like, you woke up, you are so tired, but you still made your bed before you leave for the day, and SPIRIT IS LIKE HOLY SHIT MY BABY MADE THEIR BED with literal tears in their eyes.

They see you, they acknowledge you and they are just in awe of you and what ever you are doing. It’s literally like you don’t have to be Alexander The Great or you know, do some out of the universe type of shit to get them to be proud of you.

Its just unconditional love and support. You defended yourself against someone who was being mean to you, and you felt a little bad about it?

I can literally see spirit, with their arms crossed, and they are nodding like “Exactly my child! This is exactly what you should do!”.

So spirit is with you, every, single, step of the way, remember that.

Also, they mean to tell you that there is greater happiness, greater contentment waiting for you if you open your heart to it.

You might as well just be happy where you are, and spirit has no problem with it. They’re just letting you know, that if you want and you need, just open your heart and there’s gonna be a whole new world for you.

(see I asked for gentle whispers and this might be the gentle part, and in reality they might be pushing the fuck out of you to go follow that path and drop signs left, right and centre. So I thought of putting this out there)

Im saying this because I had this imagery of a person just putting their hand on their heart and closing their eyes and just beams of strings emerge out of their heart. Your heart will tell you where to go if you listen to it and if you want it.

Spirit is being real as well, once you open your heart and many opportunities pour in and it’ll be hectic, it’ll be draining, it can feel as if you’ve been working the whole day and you just come back and you just sleep. Like you lay on the bed and in a second you’re out cold and this repeats every day. Because when you do things your heart desires it takes SO MUCH of your energy.

Okay so this can be sort of a confirmation for some of y’all as well who have listened to their heart and are on the path. Because you’re getting so tired you might feel that you’ve done something wrong.

You haven’t.

This will go on for a while till it settles. You might feel a bit sad that you don’t have much energy to put elsewhere or whatever. But it isn’t for long. Your spiritual team is always there cheering you on and being so very proud of you. Keep going and do well~ I am also so very proud of you cuties<3

Wish you well pile 2 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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Pile 3

Dear pile 3, how long has it been since you’ve taken a slow, refreshing walk? When was the last time you’ve actually felt your thoughts were slow, when you could actually think instead of your thoughts going a hundred miles per hour?

Hold your horses guys.

Spirit is telling you to be gentle with yourselves, to “chill” as they just said. They’re telling you that life is not going anywhere, you may feel that just because. You may feel that because you’re trying to see where you are in reference to others.

But look at yourself, just at yourself, and your life. You’re at the right place my sweetheart, be in no hurry. There’s no rush. If you stop and you feel, you’ll get the cool breeze on your face, gently passing through the strands of your hair. You’ll smell the fresh grass, you’ll feel the cool air, the sun and you’ll be very content.

Give yourself a break. At least a short one.

I know realistically and practically you might have a proper job and you’ll be like “I HAVE A SPREADSHEET DUE TONIGHT AND YOU’RE TELLING ME TO CHILL?!”

And honestly, I get you, because even I have so many things due tomorrow…and I haven’t even started and its like 11:51pm at my place right now.

Its okay. Its fine even if you take a break for 5 minutes. But let it be a break. Let your brain rest. Treat it as your leisure time. And if you can take a longer break then even better.

Chill out, bake some cookies man, listen to music. Just doom scroll. Hustle is a joke, its a prank and its better to stay the fuck away from it. False urgency is NOT REAL.

Honestly, take a break and not just because of that. You’ll realise how much more productive you are after that. When I was doing my undergraduate in psychology, we had this concept of insight learning. Its basically that when you cannot figure out a solution, just let it be. Go do something else and your subconscious will have an answer ready in an instant.

So taking a break doesn’t mean you aren’t still working. Your brain will, in its subconscious. That is literally its job. So even though you are doom scrolling, your brain is working at it backend. You just have to convince your conscious brain that yeah this break is essential and anyways the backend is at its job right wink wink

Don’t be afraid to take your time, things will work out well for you. Don’t burn yourself out okay? It takes so much to get back on your feet once you get burnout. (been there done that way too many times).

Even if you feel this was unrealistic of them to ask you to take breaks, I hope you just try. Maybe start for like 3 minutes with a timer on and then if you feel it worked, then you can always increase it!

Wish you well pile 3 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

[lovebvni]

mindset of manifestation & how i manifest

like melanie martínez, i am back from the dead.

i apologize for being gone so long, but i needed a break from tumblr. i saw toxicity swirling in the community, my life got busy, and i decided it was just time for a break. when i was planking to come back, i just saw how things got terrible and i got upset and decided not to come back.

so, im back now and with a little tutorial on how i manifest!!! <3 i hope this can help some of you out.

let’s start with background.

manifesting is kind of like predicting the future. you have something you want to happen, then it happens soon after. i feel like this is the easiest way to get into the manifestation mindset. you cannot change what you’re getting if you want it. could you change your mind later and return it like a package? yes! but before it arrives, you know it’s arrival is coming.

sure, there can be delays, but it all is going to turn out YOUR way in the end.

nile and i have been working on our mindset and this is something they wrote that i think can be really helpful — as it was to me.

from the past two years we have been actively manifesting, we learned that we often saw things as “crazy”. but manifesting isn’t crazy, it’s quite normal.

every time you get dressed in the morning, it’s an act of manifestation. you’re showing up with what you want.

manifestation is a mondane activity!! stop treating it like it was a kiss from an angel!

by reading this, you’re manifesting your eyes working, you’ve used your hands to open an app, and you have believed you can read and get through this blog! without manifesting that, you would not be here.

the first step to manifestation is believing you can do it, believing you have done it, and believing you will continue to do it. period.

there are many MANY different ways to manifest, but i manifest in 3 ways (sometimes i use all three, sometimes i use just 1 or 2.)

!! I ALMOSR FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND IM ADDING IT BEFORE I GET TO NUMBER 2 OMG!!

STOP! BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO GET A NOTEBOOK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR MAKE A CHECKLIST ON YOUR PHONE IN YOUR NOTES APP!!!

now i want you to write down everything you want right now down and leave the boxes blank if you haven’t gotten them yet.

once you get through that, i want you to randomly click between some of the items you want and write down things you wanted that you did get! they can be some simple and things from years ago, what matters is you have them down. throw in some things that you may have to do for school or work while you’re at it.

here’s an example! (left is before checking off, right is after)

as you can see, i added a note to the side because i got what i wanted and more abundantly! i had been manifesting a dog since i was a young child, and in 2021, i got 2!!!! (one is laying at my feet right now <3)

continue to do this daily, weekly, or whatever you have time for. i personally do this on notion and i try to add something new daily (im adding the heartstopper thing rn!!)

but yeah!! write everything u want down, and continue to add to it, just so u can see progress DOES happen and your work and effort DOES pay off!

affirming and persisting

this id the first way i learned to manifest, and the most self-explanatory.

you simply repeat what you want over and over until you get it! but not in the future tense, in the current or past tense.

ex; “i passed my maths final!”, “im so happy my boyfriend gave me those roses for valentine’s day, he’s so sweet!”, “i finished the essay for english like a week before it was due!” “i got the lead role in my play! im so excited!” etc.

now, the common factor between all of these is having a positive mindset about them. i cannot tell you HOW many times i manifested something would go well, and right before they happened, i got in a shitty mind space and wondered if it would ever happen.

but, nonetheless, i persisted through and i got what i wanted.

the pain have have been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18

persisting is basically pushing through. think about the time you didn’t think you would make it through an injury, a school year, a trial, yet you still walked through it — even if it was slow.

like when work days are long and you want to go home, but you can’t, so you persist.

i try to think of my manifestations as an ultimatum. it’s going to happen, and that’s final. the only thing you have to do to get it is stay conscious.

and staying conscious, walking through those days, is how you get to the end!

i use affirming and persisting with pretty much everything, which is why it was first.

2. listening to subs.

it’s that simple — listen to an audible subliminal that has the results you want over and over!! that’s all i do u guys. here’s my playlist if u want it (IF I DELETE IT CHECK MY PINNED POST!! I UPDATE IT OFTEN)

i often use @stilljuststardust’s subs, slade’s subs, enchanted workshops’ subs and i want it, i got it’s subs!

all of them are trusted and credible. i cannot promise you that all the subs in my playlist will work for you, as they are (sometimes) linked to my personal desires.

3. pinterest manifestation!!

i recommend having either a whole pinterest account or a board set aside for this way of manifestation.

you simply make boards (or sections) for things you want. i would say this is best for physical items, people, looks, makeup, etc. things that re physically tangible, rather than something like reality shifting (although i do have a reality shifting board! it has been working pretty well <3)

i also have one for my mindset, my religion, so on and so forth (link btw)

i think this is pretty self explanatory. just save picture of things you want and quotes/affirmations and DONE!

i also use this sub with it :p it’s worked WONDERSSS!

if you have any other questions i will be happy to answer them!! i love you all!! go manifest!!

[lucy90712]

Finding out you’re pregnant

A/n: Happy new year guys. As promised for the new year this is the start of a pregnancy mini series. New parts will be out when I can get them done hope you enjoy ~ Lucy 

Gavi: 

Over the past week or so I haven't been feeling right I've felt nauseous most days and just overall not myself. I have also missed my period which only really points to one thing but I don't want to believe it. Pablo and I are still so young sure we've been together for nearly 3 years now but having kids isn't something we've talked about much. We both want them but it was always an in the future thing so for it to maybe be happening now has me panicking. I know I should take a test to find out for sure but I'm scared because once I know the result it becomes real and if I'm pregnant I have to tell Pablo. 

Today though I feel like I can't put it off anymore I have to find out and deal with the consequences whatever they are. I can't do it alone though so I went out and got a test as Mikky is coming over with Miles and I figured she'd be a good person to have around when I find out as she's been through it all. When she arrived I told her how I'd been feeling and my plan and she was encouraging me straight away telling me that everything would be fine. After I took the test she waited with me and even looked at the result first as I was too scared even though I already knew what it would be. Once my suspicions were confirmed and I knew I was pregnant the conversation turned to how to tell Pablo, Mikky suggested doing something simple like just giving him the test in a box so that's what we set up. 

When Pablo finally got home Mikky left leaving just the two of us. Being alone with him I felt so nervous I mean what is he going to think he doesn't often get mad at me but I can see this being one of the rare times he does. Surely he doesn't want to be tied down by a baby when his career is just starting out I know he wants to enjoy being young but I don't know if he can do that for much longer. 

"Are you ok you've been extra quiet ever since I got home" Pablo said 

"I'm fine but I have something for you" I said handing him the box 

"You're pregnant" he whispered clearly shocked 

"Yeah I am and I know we said we weren't ready for kids so I'm sorry and I get if you want nothing to do with me now" I rambled

"Hey it's ok I'm actually really excited we're starting our own family sure it's sooner than I imagined but I can't wait to see this baby grow" he said giving me a kiss which made me feel a lot better 

Pedri: 

Pedri and I have talked about having kids. Starting a family is something we both want but neither of us are quite ready yet or at least we weren't but now we might have to be. I've been feeling quite sick the last few days and straight away my mind went to the day Pedri and I weren't as careful as we usually are which of course has come back to haunt us. I wanted to ignore it and at least wait for my period to be late but Pedri wanted to know now and I'm not going to say no. 

To find out we needed a test as I don't keep them on hand as we are always careful so I don't keep tests for emergencies but maybe I should. Pedri wanted to come in the store with me but he also didn't want us to be seen and for someone to put our business all over social media. So it was just me who went in wearing sunglasses and a mask so no one recognised me either. It was so nerve wracking buying the test especially when the cashier wished me luck I felt like a teenager sneaking around behind their parents back. On the drive home Pedri held my hand the entire way trying to help calm me down which was a sweet gesture but it didn't really help. 

Back in the comfort of our own home I went straight to the downstairs bathroom to take the test. Pedri stood with me as we waited the 5 minutes for the results his arms were around my waist and my head rested on his chest as I thought about what the result might mean for us. It all feels like a lot but having Pedri there made me feel a lot better as it felt like we were truly in this together. The timer I set scared the both of us as we were in our own little world but quickly we were brought back to reality. As I went to flip the test my hands were shaking so Pedri put his hand on top of mine and we flipped the test together. Two very obvious lines stared back at us both which I thought would make me feel nervous but I was actually overwhelmed with excitement. 

"I can't believe it I'm actually so excited" Pedri said 

"Me too I thought I'd be more scared but I'm actually so happy" I said 

"Clearly we were ready to take this step and just needed the push to realise it" he said 

Jude: 

Jude has always said he doesn't want kids and I was on board with that as having kids isn't something I've ever been crazy about. It isn't something I ever ruled out completely as you know people can change their minds but in my mind that was at least 5-10 years in the future if ever. Recently though I've just felt off like somethings not right so when my period was a few days late my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. Any normal person would probably tell their partner and they would figure it out together but I'm terrified to tell Jude in case he leaves me as he has made it very clear multiple times that having kids isn't something he wants. 

This fear is exactly why I went and got a test and took it on my own without anyone knowing. I could've talked to one of my friends but I didn't want anyone to possibly let it slip to Jude as I need to be the one to tell him. Of course the result was exactly as I feared it would be I was very much pregnant. I cried for hours after I found out as I knew I had to tell Jude and deal with whatever the consequences will be which will probably end with me doing this alone when Jude ultimately decides to leave me. Realistically I should've told him that day to get it over with but I couldn't handle it mentally so I put it off. 

It has now been over a week and I am still hiding this big secret from Jude, I have wanted to tell him I really have but the right moment hasn't come up yet. He is starting to get a bit suspicious though as he keeps asking me if I'm ok and giving me weird looks when I say I'm fine. As I've waited so long I've built up this moment so much that I'm so scared for it to actually happen. 

"Hi love how are you?" Jude asked as he arrived home from training 

"I'm good how was your day?" I asked back 

"What's up with you I can tell you are keeping something from me please just tell me what it is whatever's wrong we can figure it out together" he nearly begged 

"Please don't be mad but I'm pregnant" I finally blurted out 

"Wow that's not what I was expecting" he said 

"I'm sorry just please don't leave me" I cried 

"I'm not going to leave you I promise I just wasn't expecting that I know I said I didn't want kids but for some reason I feel different with you I'm ready to step up and for us to do this together I'm actually kind of excited" he said 

"I love you" was all I managed to say 

"I love you more" he said 

Joao: 

Joao and I have been together for a few years and engaged for a year now and after moving to London we had a discussion about our future together and ultimately we decided that both of us were ready to take the next step and start a family. Even though we said we were ready we agreed that we didn't want to rush the process at least not right now so we wanted to take a more casual approach. I stopped taking my birth control but I haven't been tracking my cycle or doing anything special as I'm under the impression that it will happen when it happens. 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling really ill I just have no energy and I have been feeling nauseous most days. To start with I just got on with my life as I thought it was just a little cold or something but as time has gone on and I've not got any better I realised it must be something more. Joao made me call off work the past few days to rest and see if that makes me feel any better but that hasn't helped either. After another day of barely leaving our bed Joao suggested I take a pregnancy test just to be sure as then if it's not that he will definitely make me go to the doctors. 

Luckily I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom for situations like this so Joao helped me out of bed and I took the test with him waiting for me right outside. I sat the test on my bedside table and we just waited. Joao had me sat in his lap on the edge of the bed stroking my hair but we sat in silence while I thought about whether I could actually be pregnant. It hasn't been long at all since I stopped taking my birth control and I didn't think it would happen this quickly but if it did that would be really exciting. The 5 minute timer Joao set passed rather quickly and suddenly it was time to learn if our lives will be changed forever or if I'm just really run down. 

"I'm pregnant" I said not quite believing what the test in my hand read

"I can't believe it who knew it would happen so quickly" Joao said 

"I know we haven't even been trying properly" I said 

"At least we know why you have been feeling so awful now" Joao laughed 

Ruben: 

Ruben and I have been trying for a baby for almost a year now. To start with we were trying more casually but then I started tracking my cycle and we did things properly but that didn't work either. We have tried every tip and trick and still no positive pregnancy test. There has been times that I've had symptoms like nausea and I've even been late on my period a few times but still every month I'm greeted with a negative test. It's been hard as I want nothing more than to start a family with Ruben and I just feel so useless that I can't get pregnant like every other woman I know can. 

Again this month I've had some symptoms like being extra tired and not liking food I usually love but I don't want to get my hopes up as I've been in this position before and only been let down. It's always difficult not to get a bit excited at the prospect of finally being pregnant but I don't think I can handle another disappointment at least not night now. The amount of times I have wanted to just give up have only increased especially recently, this whole process is just making me feel awful and I don't know if it is worth it especially right now. 

Ruben wants me to take a test again and I can see why but I've been putting it off to avoid the disappointment. I promised him that today I would take a test but we agreed that if it was negative that we'd take a break from trying and I wouldn't take another test for a while just to protect my mental health. Of course Ruben came back from training super excited but I just can't get myself to feel the same way. Despite that I still took the test and just gave it to Ruben as I simply don't want to see the one line I've become accustomed to seeing. 

"I-it's positive" Ruben chocked out a few minutes later 

"What?" I questioned 

"It's positive we're going to have a baby" Ruben said handing me the test so I could see for myself 

He wasn't wrong there was two clear lines on the test. Neither of us could stop the tears from flowing as Ruben picked me up and spun me round which made me feel quite sick but I couldn’t care less I was just so happy this nightmare has finally ended with the result we wanted. 

[lvnleah]

Marry Me | Leah Williamson

Leah proposes to you but it’s a little all over the place…

word count: 1k

Leah sat nervously in the changing room, twisting her water bottle cap off and on while her mind drifted away. She’d been thinking about proposing for what felt like forever, but every time she imagined actually doing it, her hands would sweat, her heart would race, and her words would tangle up in her head.

She had no clue how to propose.

You’d been together for three years and before that, you were friends for a while. She couldn’t understand why she was so nervous, all she had to do was pull out a ring and ask three words.

Beth, Lotte, and Kim sat in the corner of the locker room after training, laughing about something, but Leah didn’t hear them as she walked up. She was too busy rehearsing her words in her mind. Beth noticed Leah’s quiet approach and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s with the serious face?” Beth asked, smirking. “You look like you’re about to give us bad news.”

Leah sighed, sitting down next to them and leaning back against the wall. “I need your help. It’s… big.”

Kim’s eyebrows shot up. “Big? As in, ‘I’m moving to Spain’ big? Or ‘I’m going to quit football and open a bakery’ big?”

“No, no,” Leah waved off Kim's playful exaggerations, though the thought of running away from the moment did cross her mind. “It’s just… I’m gonna ask Y/N to marry me.”

The room fell silent for a beat before Lotte’s face lit up with a grin. “Finally!” she said, nudging Beth. “We’ve been waiting for this.”

“Yup, three years, and you’ve taken this long? You’ve gotta step up your game, Le,” Beth teased with a wink.

Leah rubbed the back of her neck. “I know, I know. But now that I’m actually going to do it, I don’t even know how to start. What if I mess it up?”

“You won’t mess it up,” Kim reassured her. “Just speak from the heart, and she’ll say yes. No one’s gonna turn down Leah Williamson.”

Lotte nodded. “And you don’t have to do some crazy over-the-top thing unless that’s what she wants. Keep it simple. You’ve got this.”

Leah smiled softly at her friends, their confidence giving her the push she needed. “Thanks, I just… I want it to be special, you know? She deserves that.”

Beth clapped a hand on her shoulder. “She already thinks the world of you. You’ve got the hard part sorted.”

Leah spent weeks planning the perfect proposal. She wanted it to be meaningful, something that would make your heart race the way hers did every time she looked at you. Tonight, it was finally happening.

The living room was unrecognisable. Twinkling fairy lights hung from the ceiling, casting a warm, magical glow across the space. Dozens of white roses filled the room, their soft fragrance mixing with the faint scent of candles flickering on the mantle. Leah stood in the centre, nerves buzzing in her chest, waiting for you to come home.

As soon as she heard the key turn in the lock, her heart skipped a beat. She took a deep breath, rehearsing her words for what felt like the hundredth time. You walked in, pausing in the doorway as your eyes widened at the sight before you.

“Leah…” you whispered, your voice laced with wonder. “What is all this?”

Leah stepped toward you, her usual confidence replaced with a nervous energy that made her stomach flutter. She had rehearsed, prepared for this moment, but standing here now, seeing the love and surprise in your eyes, the words felt caught in her throat.

“I, um, I wanted to do something special,” she began softly, her hands fidgeting before she quickly shoved them into her pockets. “You’ve been everything to me these past three years. More than I could ever put into words, really. And I wanted tonight to be something you’d remember forever.”

You took a step closer, your heart pounding as you glanced around the room, then back at her. “Leah… this is beautiful.”

Leah swallowed, feeling her pulse quicken. “You’re beautiful. And you make every day better just by being in it.” She pulled out a small velvet box from her pocket, her hands trembling ever so slightly. “I’ve been wanting to ask you this for so long, but I kept waiting for the right moment. Then I realised… any moment with you is the right one.”

She took a step forward, her voice growing steadier as she gazed into your eyes. “Take my hand.”

You blinked, not fully understanding as your heart raced in your chest. “Why?”

Leah’s lips curled into a soft, nervous smile as she lowered herself onto one knee. “Because I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

Your breath hitched, the weight of her words sinking in as you covered your mouth in shock. Leah held out her hand, and you reached for it, tears welling in your eyes.

“Is this really happening?” you whispered, a smile breaking through your disbelief.

Leah nodded, her gaze never leaving yours. “It’s happening. You’re the love of my life, and I can’t imagine spending a single day without you. Will you marry me? Be my wife?”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. It was just the two of you, in this perfect moment, surrounded by flowers, lights, and the warmth of each other’s love. You nodded, tears spilling down your cheeks as you dropped to your knees in front of her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice catching as you held her close. “A thousand times yes.”

Leah laughed softly, her tears slipping down her face as she pulled back just enough to slip the ring onto your finger. The diamond sparkled in the candlelight, but it was nothing compared to the way your eyes shone with happiness.

“You didn’t mess it up,” you whispered, laughing through your tears. “You always joked you would.”

Leah smiled, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I was terrified I would.”

“Well, you didn’t,” you whispered, your lips brushing against hers in a soft, tender kiss. “This was perfect. You’re perfect.”

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + seven

authors notes: so this one leaves probably more questions than answers, but there's also a lot of things sprinkled throughout, and all questions will be answered....eventually.

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, language, discussion of parental loss, brief (two line) flashback of aftermatch following csa, suggestive themes, ptsd trigger

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 8k

Solana: Are you busy today?

Normally, Roman would keep his phone face down during business meetings but with increasing communication with Solana, he’s leaned more on the side of having it face up so he’s aware when notifications come through. 

It’s not a priority. Just a…..preference. 

Grabbing his phone, he quickly shoots her back a text.

Roman: What do you need?

Before he can put his phone back down, those three dots appear. He keeps the thread open for her reply to slide in.

Solana: Nvm. I’m sorry to bother you.

Roman curses inwardly, barely keeping it to himself and not making the room of men aware of his frustrations. He can acknowledge Solana has slightly improved with her over–apologizing over the past couple weeks, but it’s moments like this that get him upset all over again. 

He fucking hates repeating himself.

But….

There’s that small, annoying ass, nagging voice in the back of his head that reminds him of why she’s always so apologetic, why she thinks her damn existence itself is an inconvenience. And he can’t really fault her, blame her for years of trauma fucking with her mental.

Roman: You’re apologizing again. How many times I gotta tell you to stop that shit?

It could probably, definitely, be worded better. Maybe even a bit…kinder. But Roman is a lot of things. 

Kind is not one of them.

He then adds, knowing she’ll probably try to find another excuse to not be honest with him. 

Roman: What do you need? The truth, Solana. 

There’s an appearance and disappearance of those dots at least three or four times. He can picture her biting down on her bottom lip as she tries to word what probably is a simple request as best she can.

The amount of overthinking she does has to be fucking exhausting.

Solana: I was just gonna see if you could meet me at the library. I wanted to show you something.

Solana: But, it’s not a big deal! Please forget I said anything.

A couple of things strike Roman strange, two in particular. The first being that as soon as she says what she needs, the answer is an automatic yes. Like, it’s not even something he really thinks too much about, but he also chalks it up to a level of genuine curiosity. This might be the first time she’s actually directly asked him for something.

It must be important. Important enough for her to ask him to come see whatever it is, at least.

It’s why he doesn’t even comment on her second, follow up text.

Roman: What time you get off?

He can make whatever work.

Solana: It’s okay. Really.

This damn girl….

Roman’s jaw clench as he types out a text that matches his mood. 

Roman: Solana….

She’s giving him a damn migraine. He’s not sure why he doesn’t just ignore her at this point. If it’s that fucking important, she wouldn’t be giving him such a hard time.

But then the stupid nagging voice returns, reminding him that her even asking in the first place is a huge deal that shouldn’t necessarily be shot down because of lingering struggles that are probably going to be around for a while.

Solana literally has years of baggage and trauma she needs to heal from.

And that shit doesn’t happen overnight.

Solana: 3pm

Roman blows out a breath. Fucking finally. 

He lays his phone back down, not necessarily wanting to hear any pushback or counter arguments she might try to supply, fake ass reasons she wants to back away from her assertive request. 

Not happening. 

Roman: I’ll be there.

“Jey.” Roman’s deep voice cuts through the group who set their eyes on him. “I need you and Jimmy to handle the Barrett meeting for me.”  While the twins are annoying as shit majority of the time, they’re effective all of the time. Roman has trusted countless meetings with them, and none have turned out badly. They always get shit handled. 

His cousins both echo okayness with this change in plans, as expected. The same way Roman expected his Wise Man to be the one with questions.

“My Tribal Chief, we’ve had this meeting scheduled for weeks. What could possibly be more important?”

It’s a fair question, Roman isn’t too stubborn to admit that. But, it’s also not a question that applies. Again, it’s not that Solana is important, per se, it’s just that if his alternative is dealing with Barret’s loquacious business dealings, he’d prefer Solana.

He’s also partially intrigued by the mere fact she’d even had the balls to ask something of him in the first place. It’s promising. Assertiveness has always been more attractive to him than passiveness. 

Roman’s answer is both simple and vague. “I have somewhere to be.”

“But—”

“Wise Man.”

Paul’s childlike smile deepens suddenly, as if he’s been picked to be fucking line leader. “Yes, my Tribal Chief?”

“Who’s the Tribal Chief?”

Rikishi is the only one to offer a visible reaction, hiding his chuckle. He knows exactly where this is going, even if his decades old friend does not. 

“Y–you are, my Tribal Chief.”

Romans voice is sharp and lethal. “So why the fuck are you asking me to answer to you?”

Paul’s expression pales. “I would never, my—”

“Sound like it to me,” Jimmy’s messy ass chimes in. He looks at Jey. “What you think, Uce?”

“Sound like it to me too.” Jey, as expected, agrees. Only for him to nearly fall back in his seat when he jumps up so both feet are on the expensive ass leather. Roman is annoyed all over again for a new reason. “Ayo, Uce, ya’ll got a rat problem!”

At that, Jimmy is twinning with his brother in more than just appearance, also with his feet off the floor and onto the leather chair. Roman hopes they both fall over and break their goddamn necks. Rikishi can handle Barrett just fine.

“Ain’t you like a goddamn billionaire? How the hell you got Stuart Little and his fam running around your crib!”

Roman’s gaze follows the line of vision the twins are so damn focused on only to be met with Dulce calmly walking past both of them to sit in front of him, looking up with a tilted head. 

She’s clearly looking for Solana. 

And he knows this because it’s become a bit of a habit. If he’s home and she’s not, Dulce’s nosy ass seems to seek him out as if he’s supposed to magically make her owner appear. It’s not something he’s brought up to Solana, because he knows she would just freak the fuck out and over apologize for Dulce “bothering” him. 

And that’s not the case. 

It’s a bit annoying, but it’s not a bother.

His staff keep an eye out for her when Solana works, and he’s even seen Solana come back to the house on her lunch breaks to check in Dulce, so he doesn’t mind. She’s keeping up her end of the deal, being the primary caretaker for the puppy. 

“That’s Solana’s dog.”

Jimmy’s bewildered gaze is on him. “This a dog?”

“Yes.”

“You let her get a dog? Like a real ass dog?”

“You fucking see her, don’t you?” At that moment, Dulce calmly lays down on the floor next to Roman’s feet which are literally bigger than her small ass. It’s followed up by Paul starting to sneeze. 

Jey, who is now sitting back in his chair like a normal human being, points out, “man, you hate dogs.”

Naturally, Roman goes a bit on the defense, shoulders straightening. “I don’t hate them.”

Jimmy makes a sound, also with his feet planted on the ground. “Bruh, you literally use to tell us when we was growing up, ‘I hate dogs.’ That’s why we started calling you Big Dog, cause it was funny to see you get all mad and shit.”

Roman may or may not remember that, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to acknowledge it. Besides, he’s allowed to change his mind. Hate was always probably too strong of a word to use anyway. 

There are a lot of things Roman hates, even more people that he hates, but dogs are not on the list. 

It was more irritation than anything.

“Whatever.”

“What’s her name?” Rikishi asks, bending over his chair to try to catch Dulce’s attention.

Roman watches the puppy gradually make her way over his cousin, ears dropping as he gently rubs the top of her head. “Dulce.”

“Dul–what?”

This…..this is why Roman is on high blood pressure medication, why Dr. Michaels recommended he start wearing one of those smart watches to monitor his heart rate and other shit. Not that he did it.

“Dulce. It’s Spanish.”

“Aw man, why you ain’t say that in the beginning?” Jimmy turns to Jey. “The dog only speak Spanish.” He looks over at his dad who now has Dulce in his lap, continuing to pet her. Roman rolls his eyes. This dog is a damn attention whore, just like he predicted. “Hola, lil�� chalupa.”

Jey punches his brother on the arm. “Uce, you can’t be saying that kind of shit. It’s racist.”

“No, it’d be racist if I called the dog Taco Bell since her mama half Mexican, but I ain’t do that shit, cause I like Soso.”

“Stop calling her that.” 

Jimmy avoids Roman’s warning and proceeds to ask with all of the intrigue. “So not only did you let her bring a dog up in here, but you let ole’ girl pick a rat for said dog?”

Already irritated and on edge, Roman isn’t sure why Jimmy’s question irritates him as much as it does, and not even because it's a question that’s being posed when he’s trying to review a contract. It’s that Jimmy is questioning Solana’s decision in general.

He answers as calmly as he’s capable of responding. Roman also notices that Paul is red as a tomato as he pulls out an Epipen. Roman easily brings his focus back to Jimmy. “It’s what she wanted.”

“Should have got a big dog,” Jey suggests, hovering over by Rikishi as he tries to interact with Dulce whose eyes are fluttering closed. Roman swears this damn dog sleeps 23 out of the 24 hours in the day. 

That answer is simple, Roman grabbing a pen to sign off on the contract in front of him. It’s satisfactory enough. “She’s scared of them.”

“What is she not scared of?”

But that comment, for whatever reason, is what makes him snap. “Get out.”

Both the twins are unfazed, but it seems to trigger something for them as Jimmy exclaims, “I forgot!” He looks over at Jey, reminding. “Remember, Soso made some extra food for us.”

“Oh shit, she sho’ did!” 

Roman makes a mental note to write Solana about that. It’s not her job to keep feeding his grown ass, married ass cousins. 

The two bid their farewell, Jey shouting out as his parting term, “yeet!”

“Stop doing that,” Roman calls after their retreating forms as Paul also excuses himself for some air. 

Maybe he really is allergic to dogs. 

Rikishi stands up and walks over to him, still holding Dulce but not saying anything. He’s just looking like he wants to say something. Another of Roman’s pet peeves, of the many.

With a mutter and scowl, he asks, “what?” 

His cousin simply shrugs, nonchalantly commenting. “The girl is growing on you, Uce.” It’s an assessment, for certain.

However, Roman has zero desire to have this conversation with his older cousin, or anyone, in general. Hence, his vague ass reply of, “she’s tolerable.”

Because that’s the truth. Solana is neither amazing nor insufferable. She’s in a pretty balanced space between the both: tolerable.

Rikishi gives him that sly ass look that makes Roman want to punch him in his fucking face. “E tua le fale tele i le faleo’ o.”

It’s an old Samoan proverb that means “Even the mighty need others.”

Instantly, Roman’s gaze is cutting. “I don’t need anyone.” He never has, and he never will.

Rikishi just offers a knowing smile, lowering Dulce back to the ground and placing a hand on Roman’s shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. “Of course not, Uce. Of course not.” The older man says nothing else, just walking out, Dulce returning back to stand by Roman’s feet, head up, staring at him.

He rolls his eyes, murmuring as he gets back to work. “She’ll be home later.” 

Dulce barks in response. 

________

The minute Roman pulls up to Solana’s job, sees the expression on his cousin’s face, he knows something is up.

Solo may have a dangerously good poker face, but Roman invented that shit. 

He got the blueprint from Roman. 

Solana is sitting near the front of the building, surrounded by fucking children as she reads some basic ass book that they’re all clearly eating up based upon how they can’t seem to take their eyes off her.

Roman isn’t entirely indifferent, instantly taking note of her outfit, more colorful, less covered. It reeks of Naomi’s influence, but in a good way. 

As always, she looks good, better than good.

Not wanting to interrupt, Roman motions for a few of his men to take Solo’s place as he gestures for his younger cousin to follow him.

As soon as they’re outside the building, Roman gets right into it. “You got something to say, so say it.” 

Roman knows his cousin well enough to know that despite his brutal fighting abilities, the man is always careful and meticulous with his words. Unlike his hot headed older brother, Jey, Solo always thinks before he acts.

It’s why Roman doesn’t think twice about the space between the issuance of his prompt and Solo’s answer.

“You made me your enforcer for a reason, yeah?”

It’s an easy answer. “Yes.” 

“You upped me in the ranks to prove myself, right? To earn my way into the inner circle?”

Roman is already bored with the conversation, but considering this is family, he throws a bone. “Yeah.”

“So just how am I supposed to do that when you got me playing babysitter to your new wife?” The turn in topics as well as increase in Solo’s volume does slightly, very slightly, take Roman by surprise. Granted, he does a masterful job, as always, hiding that surprise. “Any lower guy could do this shit. She don’t—”

“Solo.” Roman gives him that tight smile and scratches his beard, typically the last thing people see before they meet their maker. “You answer to me. You do what I say you do, and I say you’re assigned to Solana.”

Roman doesn’t know what’s in the fucking water for people to be testing him the way they are, but it’s really starting to piss him off.

Solo looks down, clearly embarrassed by this talk down but not enough to shut his mouth. “I get that, but—”

“Wasn’t she already hurt once under your watch?” Roman’s voice is razor sharp as he reminds the younger man of his failure. The memory of that fucking bruise on Solana’s wrist from her bitch of a brother returning all of those strong emotions. “I gave you a job, and you didn’t do it. She got hurt while under your protection. It’s because you’re my cousin, you're even still breathing right now. You know better than anyone I don’t accept failure.”

At that, Solo concedes, knowing good and well there is no excuse or justifiable reason. “I understand, my Tribal Chief.”

Roman does his best to chip away some of his anger at this outright disrespect as well as the memories of Solana hurt. He steps past his cousin, calling out over his shoulder. “And Solo, don’t think because you’re family I won’t put a bullet in your head for questioning me.” Out of the corner of his eye, Roman can see Solo still has his head down. “Fail me again, let her get hurt again, and I’ll put your ass six feet under.”

Roman doesn’t allow the conversation to persist beyond that, big steps taking him back to the library just in time to see the children disperse, whipping past him as Solana approaches. The wedges on her feet give her a bit more height, but he still towers over her, which is a usual experience for him.

But, it doesn’t negate the fact that she’s so damn small.

“Hi,” she greets in that familiar unsure voice, eyes darting from him to the ground. “Sorry—I mean—story time ran a bit over.”

He’s appreciative she at least caught the apologizing before he had to call it out. “It’s fine.”

She offers a tight smile and motions for him to follow her, which he does, just as his eyes follow the sway of her ass as she leads the way.  

He’s starting to really enjoy seeing her in jeans. 

She leads him up the stairs and in the back area he’d visited her before what seems like so long ago, finding that her bastard of a brother had manipulated her into being alone with him. The last fucking time that shit will ever happen.

She pulls a key out her back pocket and unlocks the door, informing, “I have to grab something first.”

He doesn’t say anything, just nods. It’s like she feels the need to justify every little thing she does. 

Roman watches her walk over to the desk, leaning over as she grabs him something out of her bag, a notebook, the journal he first found her writing in the first time he came to see her at her place of employment. 

She’s back by him, closing and locking the door. “Come on.”

Typically, if this was anyone else, Roman would have demanded to know just what the fuck was so important that caused him to have to rearrange his whole schedule. Granted, he can’t take that out on her, nor would he ever, when he’s the one who rearranged his whole schedule for her. She didn't ask him to do that shit. 

He did it on his own volition for reasons unknown. 

The walk to the next stop doesn’t take long at all, Solana soon sticks her key in another, unfamiliar door, opening and stepping aside but directing him to walk in.

He does as such, naturally and instantly taking in his surroundings once she hits the light switch. It’s a room obviously, a previous storage room he would guess based upon the large filing cabinet lined against the wall to the right of him. There’s also another couple pieces of furniture against that same wall, like a desk and mini bookshelf, but that’s not what immediately catches his attention.

He’s instead more interested by the remaining walls that are essentially lined with larger, white bookshelves, all filled with a combination of notebooks, books, and journals. Completely filled. 

Intrigued but also confused, the latter of which is unfamiliar to him, Roman turns to Solana, asking, “what is this?”

Her cheeks redden, but she manages an answer that’s somehow not marked by as much stuttering. “There are all my journals—well,” she stops, giving a nervous laugh. “Most of them. Some are books I’ve read, and….” She walks over to a section that somehow seems different from the others, albeit lined up neatly with the rest of the items. Solana’s hand almost hesitantly feathers over the spines of the journals. At closer look, Roman can see they’re a bit dated and worn than the others. “These were my mother’s.”

Her answer surprises him, but he quickly recalls her sharing that she started writing because of her mother, because they wrote to each other.

She clears her throat and then turns back to him, sharing, “every time I finish a journal, I leave it here.”

Obviously. “Why here?”

“My mom started it. It—it was an arrangement she had with Mrs. Jensen. She worked here, and along with her pay, she arranged so she could keep her writings here and after….” Solana starts to hesitate, and Roman can see it’s because emotion is brewing. Just gently bubbling under the surface. “After she died, I kept up with it.”

Roman recognizes the sensitive nature of the subject and makes a subtle effort to change the topic on her behalf. “You’ve really written in all of these?” It’s impressive. He has to give her that. The thought of writing in general has never appealed to him, so for her to have a room full of journals she’s completed is fucking impressive. 

She nods, adding sheepishly, “filled em’ up.” Solana then takes the one in her hand, lifting it a bit. “Finished this one this morning.” He watches her squeeze it into a row that’s probably already being pushed to the limit.

She’s going to run out of space eventually.

She’ll need something bigger, sooner rather than later. Roman compartmentalizes this for a later date and time to navigate.

“You keep em’ here to hide them also, don’t you?”

“They can never know what I’ve written….” She doesn’t need to say who they are. It’s more than obvious. It’d be a sure death wish. “I just—-I know you said you’d write for now and it’s been almost a month, but—but I—I figured if you knew just how important and helpful writing is to me—”

“Solana.” There’s no need for her long ass, drawn out explanation. He understands now why she wanted him to see this space, the goal behind the request. “We’ll write as long as you need it.”

He watches her shoulders drop, a sign of relief. She bites back a smile he wouldn’t be opposed at seeing. She looks even better when she’s smiling. “Thank you.”

He only nods, and Solana finds herself taking him in. 

All of him.

In recent weeks, she’s discovered yet another newfound difficulty and source of anxiety for herself. And that new addition would happen to be in the form of the 6’3 man before her.

Roman has always made her nervous, for a variety of good and valid reasons, but recently, the cause of that anxiety has shifted to something else, something a bit on the unfamiliar side for her, or rather something she hasn’t really had to think about since her last disastrous relationship.

Attraction

Solana has come to terms with the fact that she’s attracted to Roman, yes, but also that she hasn’t the slightest clue of what to do about and with that said attraction.

It’s always been there, to a certain extent, but it was more dormant, something she knew was present but voiceless and nameless, almost invisible.

Now, in interacting and engaging with him more, it’s formed more defining characteristics, creating a sense of butterflies in her stomach whenever his smoldering gaze falls on her or when he says something to her, that deep, baritone voice sprouting goosebumps on the back of her neck.

It also doesn’t help that he’s indicated a couple of different times now that he also finds her attractive, or pretty, beautiful even.

That he thinks she looks good.

None of that makes sense to Solana nor can she understand why he would believe any of those things, but she would never make him out to be a liar, so it must be true, to some extent.

And therein lies the dilemma. 

One of many that exist in her life.

How she’s supposed to balance attraction with fear, desire with aversion, peace with trauma. It’s all a muddled mess. 

“Solana.”

“Sorry.” He only has to sigh one time for her shoulders to sulk, but instead of apologizing, she points out in a small voice. “It’s—it’s a habit.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a fucking habit to break.” His irritation is palpable, and Solana feels even smaller around him, like she’s done something wrong. “It’s not you I’m annoyed with.”

“Oh.” And that genuinely surprises her. In Solana’s experience, she’s always been the source of people’s, especially the men in her life, exasperation. But before she can step out of her comfort zone and ask him what’s wrong, he informs her of something that completely makes her emotions flip and twirl into a puddle of distress.

“Your father called for you today.” And just like that, any sense of relation and ease she’d achieved is dissipated, replaced with growing unrest. “Relax…” It’s not missed upon Solana how Roman’s tone quickly and almost easily jumps from irritated to almost soothing, like he’s trying to calm his nerves. “I told him to fuck off.”

That doesn’t make her feel any better. “He doesn’t like being told no.”

“And you think I give a fuck?” His deep voice is full of indifference and edge, but this time around, Solana knows it’s not directed towards her. He then asks, “do you want to talk to him?”

It takes her off guard. “What?”

Roman repeats himself with a surprising lack of irritation. “Do you want to talk to him?” 

Solana can’t remember the last time she was asked such a question. Been given a choice. Then again, it’s happened quite a few times since her marriage to Roman, starting with Bayley asking her something as simple as how she wants her makeup done. 

She doesn’t know what to make of that. Just another thing added to that mounting list of confusing and conflicting thoughts and feelings. 

“If you want to, I’ll allow it.” He quickly adds the caveat. “But not without me present.”

Prior to the past couple weeks, Solana would suspect Roman’s stipulation stems from a place of possessiveness. But now….now it feels like it comes from someplace else, something so unfamiliar and foreign. 

Protectiveness. 

It feels like he’s being protective of her. 

His proclamation from earlier returns to the forefront of her mind.

“I’m not going to let anyone lay a fucking hand on you.”

He’d also included a list of people he wouldn’t allow to do as such, including her dad and brother, which is why he clearly would only let Solana speak to her father if he’s around. 

It’s just the why that has her stumped.

But, back to the question being posed, the easiest and most simple answer is no. She’d rather not be around someone who’s only ever left her hurt, emotionally and/or physically. Or allocated that task to her brother. 

Not to mention the fact that the only reason he probably wants to talk to her is to discuss this nefarious plot she still refuses to allow herself to think about because it’s so inconceivable. 

“Not really,” she answers after what feels like forever, “but…”

Roman picks up on her hesitation. “But?” 

“Like I said, my–my father doesn’t like being denied.” And before he can protest or again reiterate his outright indifference to her father’s feelings, Solana adds in a quiet voice, “and I usually end up being the one to pay for it.”

Roman steps towards her, and before she can process what’s happening, his finger is under her chin, tugging so that her head is lifted, eyes locked with his. 

His voice lowers, quietly asking, “you still don’t believe me when I say I won’t let anyone hurt you, huh?” It’s rhetorical, sure, but Solana is too focused on the fact that this man is touching her. It’s as innocent as innocent comes, but it’s still touch, something she usually hides away from like the plague. However, outside of the initial shock and borderline discomfort, Solana doesn’t jump away, doesn’t feel the need to put as much distance between them. She’s almost….almost comfortable.

“I’m going to kill them both, eventually.  Fucking with them in the meanwhile only makes the outcome that much more worthwhile. But…” And the surprises keep coming, especially as he makes her aware of his intentions. “One word. All I need is one fucking word from you. That you want them gone, and it’s done. No questions asked.” 

Power.

Solana wonders if this is what power feels like, the ability to say one single word and have a life be ended. How she feels about those lives belonging to her brother and father remains to be seen, but even being given such an option, such an almost promise, it’s an indescribable experience.

Roman’s brown eyes, light and contrasting everything about him that is sharp and hard, study her. “You understand me?”

Naturally, she nods against his index finger that’s under her chin, demanding maintained eye contact. 

“I need words.” It’s a reminder from the infamous wedding night, something that seems so far in the rearview mirror now. 

“Y–yes.”

He seems pleased by this acknowledgment, enough to pull his hand away from her, Solana trying not to make too much of the strange sensation that floats in her stomach at the absence of his touch. 

Roman suddenly offers. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll up your security detail.” Before she can protest and probably apologize if she’d unintentionally indicated it wasn’t already enough, he asks, “you get off at 3 every day?”

“Essentially, y–yes.” 

“I’ll start meeting you.”

The surprises just keep on coming.

Instantly, she feels bad, shaking her head. “You don’t have to—”

“Solana.” This man must get tired of having to say her name, she’s certain of that. “I’ll meet you.” He says the same thing, but this time, she knows not to push back because it’s a done thing. “Just make sure I have your updated work schedule.”

“Wh—what about Solo?”

“He’ll still be assigned to you for any other outings.” This makes her feel a little better, that he’s not entirely rearranging and inconveniencing himself for her. “You ready to go?”

Yes. No. Maybe. There’s so many different questions she has with only a select number of answers, but in this moment, she goes with the one that feels most right. 

Especially with Roman reaching for her hand.

Nodding, she swallows and accepts his gesture, noticing how his large hand closes over hers, almost protectively.

“Yes.”

________

“That for me?” Solana looks up from the notebook she’s almost certain she’ll have filled and completed by the end of the month. Roman’s presence and question both catch her off-guard. She didn’t really expect to speak to him again today, especially after he already spent time with her earlier that day. She figured he’d had his maximum daily dosage. 

Especially after she’d already prepared and fixed dinner for him, the two of them falling into their now routine of him eating in his office, her in the living room before she makes her way out back to the patio where she either writes or, now, plays with Dulce.

Solana shakes her head, answering softly as Roman sits on the chair opposite her.  “no. It’s…”

“About your mom?”

With him now aware of the nature of some of her writing, she answers, “yeah.” Roman’s question triggers something she’s certain she intentionally never commented on because it was such a shock to her system that she really didn’t know how to respond. “When….when you said it wasn’t my fault….did—did you mean that?”

If she expected there to be delayed response or even confusion on his end, she was entirely wrong because he answers almost on the spot. “Yes. I told you, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

She’s starting to believe that. 

Wetting her lips, she informs in that same small voice, “no one’s ever said that to me before.”

Xavier’s unshaven face and dark, judgmental gaze is focused on her, Solana doing her best to ignore the pain that wrecks her body, the beeping of the machines and IV’s in both her arms. The throbbing between her legs is equally scary as it is confusing. What did they do to her, and why did it hurt so much?

He pulls the cigar from his mouth, dropping and stomping it on the floor, gruff voice asking, “why didn’t you fight back?” He shakes his head, spitting at the same spot that’s littered with remnants of one of many poor habits. “You’re weak just like your mother.”

Roman’s firm voice snatches her away from spiraling too deeply in dark memories of an even darker past. She does her best to shake away any sign she was about to dissociate when he surprises her for what feels like the 10th time today, almost quietly sharing, “My mother was killed when I was ten years old.” There’s a synchronous dropping of her mouth and stomach at the exact same time. “You think that shit was my fault?”

The answer is obvious and immediate. “No. Of–of course not. You were—you were just a kid.”

While her response is borderline automatic, coming from a place of pure logic, everything else is so confusing. Roman’s mother is….dead? Not even dead but murdered when he was a child?

Just like hers.

Solana doesn’t know how to process this. It’s not until this very moment that she realizes not once has she ever considered or thought about his immediate family, like parents and even siblings. At the wedding, so many people were present, obvious family members of his, but she’s just now realizing she never considered who was who. Were they all cousins, aunts, in-laws even? 

Where is the rest of his immediate family? Better yet, who makes up his immediate family? She’s aware of the twins and even his older cousin Rikishi, but is there not more?

“So were you.” She can’t tell if Roman intentionally works to redirect the focus back onto herself or if he’s unaware of the fact she’s suddenly wondering just how much about the man across from her she still knows nothing about it. “So why is it different for you?”

It’s an effective diversion and valid question that she’s never once asked herself.

“No one’s ever said that either.” Her voice is only a couple octaves above a whisper, and Solana finds herself sharing more than she’s probably ever divulged to anyone. “When I….when I’m writing, a lot of the times, I’m writing letters to my mom.” Having this conversation with anyone, let alone Roman, of all people, wasn’t on her life agenda. But, it seems like a lot of ‘nevers’ are gradually morphing into ‘actualities.’

It’s such a strange experience, too.

“Like I said, we used to write to each other, and after….after she was killed, I couldn’t find it in me to stop. I think at the beginning, I kept doing it because….because I didn’t want to accept she was gone.” The understanding and underlying emotion shifts to the surface, resulting in her quickly wiping at her eyes to keep the tears from falling. “Like I was waiting for her to write me back.” It’s not missed upon Solana how Dulce suddenly moves closer, tucking her body right up against Solana’s thigh. “And I’ve kept at it over the years, cause—she was the only person I could ever talk to.”

Roman repeats the same message he wrote to her, almost reminding her of a lifeline she’s gradually starting to realize is available for the first time in almost twenty years. “You can talk to me, Solana.”

And she is. She doesn’t know how and especially why, but she is, and as heavy as the topic is, there’s a hint of relief at finally having another living, breathing person to speak to and with about these things. 

Especially…..especially someone who can maybe relate to her. “How did you do it—how did you….move past it?”

It’s not the best wording, she’s certain of that. Losing a parent. Having a parent be murdered isn’t something one gets over. 

Solana knows this better than most, but Roman….he’s so composed, so together, so unbroken. 

So unlike her. 

His expression darkens as he answers in an eerie but calm voice. “I got my revenge, and I killed every single son of a bitch who played a role.” His delivery unsettles her a bit, but he seems to easily shift back into that almost patient tone she’s only ever heard him use….with her. “But, I’m not like you, Solana. You're innocent. My ledger bleeds red.” Solana doesn’t know what it looks or even sounds like for Roman to be uncomfortable, but his delivery in the next part definitely feels as such.  “I don’t….feel things like you do. You feel everything. I feel nothing.”

She whispers. “I wish I was like that, that I didn’t feel.” Because it’s true. Because it’s how she initially started to self harm, because she wanted to feel something other than emotional pain. Even physical pain was better than the anguish that racked her every day, 24/7.

He’s quick to shut that down, to tell her the complete opposite. “No, you don’t. That would mean you’ve lost that innocence you have.”

That actually makes Solana smile, chuckle, but there’s not an ounce of humor as she shakes her head. “I–I lost my innocence a long time ago.” Stolen. It was stolen from her a long time ago is the more appropriate way to word it. Stomach a complete freaking mess, she does her best to power through her anxiety at what she’s about to tell him. “Roman…..I—”

“Ayo, Uce—”

“What!” Roman snaps, Solana jumping back away from him, hypervigilance back on high and alert. He briefly casts his gaze back in her direction, and she can almost swear she sees a speck of guilt. Like he’s apologetic for scaring her. 

Jimmy, however, is unfazed by his cousin’s temper. He’s lived with it his whole life. Ain’t nothing new. “Rhodes men were on Bloodline territory—”

“What?” At that, Roman’s head snaps back in Jimmy’s direction. And Solana watches as any sign of Roman, patient and almost kind, is replaced almost instantly with that same cold, stoic demeanor that could strike fear in the heart of even the strongest man. 

He stands up, hands on his hips as he moves a bit away from her. Solana also stands, fighting her urge to move closer to him. 

Jimmy also presents with a seriousness she’s never seen in him, never even really knew he was capable of, to be honest. “We got three guys down. Another two critically injured.”

Roman curses, turning away, back toward Jimmy and her. He then asks, “you got a location on em’ yet?”

“Pearce should have it any minute now.”

“Good. Let’s go.” Roman nods, stepping away from Solana and in the direction of Jimmy just as Dulce walks over, clearly wanting Solana to pick her up. She must also pick up on the sudden shift in the atmosphere. 

Dulce in her arms, Solana finds herself calling for Roman. “What—”

“Not now.” His dismissal is sharp and sudden. It shouldn’t hurt her feelings, because it’s obvious he’s in an entirely different zone now, but it does. 

Solana sinks back into her shell of silence as Solo steps forward. “You want me—”

“Stay with Solana. She doesn't step foot outside this fucking house, you understand me?” Roman’s orders are indisputable, an almost sense of urgency in his tone. “Heighten security around the premises.”

Solana has so many questions. Just what is going on? Why is Roman so on edge all of a sudden? Who is Rhodes and why do they present such an imminent threat where Roman marches out the house, Jimmy on his heels without even a second glance at her.

It’s all so confusing. 

“You need to get inside.” Solo’s equally stoic reminder, command maybe, pulls her from her thoughts. And Dulce suddenly growling at Solo definitely redirects her focus.

“Shhh. It’s just Solo,” she comforts, petting and trying to calm the puppy who quickly upgrades her growling to barking. This also confuses the mess out of Solana.  

She’s not sure she’s ever seen Dulce both growl and bark at someone.

Wordlessly, she walks in the house, past Solo who she notices makes sure to lock the door behind them. 

“Stay in your room," he instructs, and while she has more questions than anything, his austere tone is more than enough for her to not push back. 

Dulce will just have to use the crate if she has to use the bathroom. 

Without another word, Solo carries Dulce up the stairs and into her room where she lays the puppy in her bed and Solana climbs onto her.

Chewing on her bottom lip, she grabs her phone and opens up the latest group text thread she was messaging in. 

Solana: Can I ask you guys something?

Their replies come in not even five minutes later. 

Bayley: Of course!

Naomi: Anything.

Without allowing herself too much time to overthink it, Solana sends out the simple question.

Solana: Who or what is Rhodes?

Solana: Roman just rushed out of here after Jimmy said something about Rhodes men being on Bloodline territory. I’m not allowed to leave the mansion.

Just like the start of the conversation, the replies come in almost instantaneously. 

Naomi: Fuck.

Naomi: Yes, stay put. Solo’s there with you, right?

Solana: Yes.

Solana’s anxiety is only growing. Naomi sounds just as intense as Jimmy and Roman were. 

Her follow up text doesn’t do anything to help the confusion either.

Naomi: The less you know, the better. The guys will handle it.

Handle what, though? That’s what Solana really wants to know. What is the story here, and why did this Rhodes person or group have Roman so wired. 

Just then, another notification comes through. From Bayley, but in their individual thread and not the group chat. 

Solana switches over, reading her messages as they arrive almost back to back. 

Bayley: Rhodes is a person, but…that’s a complicated story.

Bayley: And I'd feel bad telling someone else’s story, but what I can tell you is that Rhodes is Cody Rhodes, head to the Nightmare Factory, the Bloodline’s biggest opp. Tensions have been at an all time high for like two generations with countless bodies dropped on both sides. It’s always a bloodbath when they’re in the same vicinity. 

Solana is regretting even asking anything in the first place. Bloodbath when they’re in the same vicinity, the same vicinity Roman is heading for as she types. Her shoulders drop, anxiety starting to shift to a new target. 

Concern for his safety.

Bayley: If you’re somehow ever in a situation where someone from the Nightmare territory is around, get the hell out of dodge. They won’t hesitate to kill you, especially with you being Roman’s wife.

Bayley: Or Rollins. Seth Rollins. Especially him. Guy is fuckin’ psycho.

Solana: Rollins?

Bayley: Roman, Seth, and Cody used to be friends a long time ago, like way long ago, and it just….it went bad. Really really fucking bad, and Cody and Roman have hated each other since. Like, I don’t know if hate is even a strong enough word for how much they can’t stand each other. 

Solana: But why?

Bayley never replies. 

________

Roman doesn’t step back into the house until almost 4am. He feels every bit exhausted as he probably looks, more physical than anything, some mental, maybe more than he’d like to admit.

Dealing with anything Nightmare related typically has that impact on him.

Solo meets him at the door, looking as on alert as he did when Roman first saw him at the ass crack of dawn this morning. 

The first thing to leave Roman’s mouth isn’t intentional as much as it is unintentional. “How was she?”

Solo motions to the marble flooring leading to the spacious living room. “She’s waiting for you.”

Roman wasn’t expecting to hear that, and he’s certain it shows in his facial expression. “What? Why? Why is she still up?”

Solo shrugs. “You’ll have to ask her. She don’t talk to me.” Which is more Solo’s preference anyway. It’s his job to protect her, not be her fucking friend. “Everything good?” Roman nods but doesn’t say anything, still stuck on the fact that Solana is still up. “Imma head out.”

Roman’s response is as distant as his expression. He doesn’t care whether Solo stays or leaves. “Alright.”

Once his enforcer is out the house, Roman sure enough finds Solana sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, notebook in her lap as she writes away.

“Solana.”

She gasps, clearly taken by surprise, but when her head lifts and her eyes land on him, she untangles her legs and moves the journal to the side. Solana walks over to him, keeping a distance that makes sense for her. “You’re back….”

“What are you still doing up? Don’t you have work in a couple hours?”

“It’s okay.” She shakes her head, adding sheepishly, “I–I don’t sleep much anyway.” He knows this well. “I just—I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes widen as she hones in on the nasty looking cut near the middle of his hairline. “You’re hurt….”

It’s really not until she says anything that Roman remembers the only “injury” he received from tonight’s bloodbath. “It’s fine.” He then redirects the focus to the main topic at hand. “Solana, you don’t have to wait up for me.”

She ignores him, actually ignores him and instead reaches up to feel the cut that’s maybe a bit more deeper than he realized because her feather light touch brings a bit of a sting. 

“You need stitches.” It doesn’t sound like a suggestion, and he realizes as such following her next surprising action. She takes his hand and leads him into the kitchen, motioning for him to sit down on the stool as she pulls out the medical kit from under the sink. 

Similar to the night of WarGames, she moves in between his open legs and starts tending to his cut, meticulously and carefully stitching him up.

She says not a word, and neither does he. Truthfully, it’s more an unconscious thing than conscious, like neither knows what or if to say something. Especially considering both are currently feeling more than what they know how to properly verbalize, or verbalize at all, really. 

“There….” Roman can tell when she’s done. She gently runs her fingers over her diligent work, her eyes focused on the source of her apparent concern when all he wants is for her to look at him, for her eyes to lock on him. “I think I’m—” And just as Solana goes to move away, to step back and clean up, she’s stopped. 

She’s stopped, because Roman reaches for her, keeping her near him.

His hand is initially on the small of her back, and Solana has the same experience from earlier. That initial tense feeling that quickly mellows into something almost calm, almost secure. 

She’s not sure she’s ever been this close to him, not since the last time she tended to his injuries, not since their wedding day, since their wedding night.

But unlike that last almost traumatic time, she’s not pummeled with anxiety, not paralyzed with fear. 

It’s just the calm. 

His eyes never leave her, bouncing back and forth between her eyes and lips. He then says in a low voice that’s unlike anything she’s heard from him before. “Solana….”

There’s something different about the way he says her name, something more sincere, something almost….vulnerable. 

Roman suddenly has both hands on her hips, holding her, just as her nervous hand moves to lay her palm against his chest. 

His eyes instantly shut at her touch. Interactions with anything regarding Rhodes have always done something to Roman emotionally, but it’s always been something he can manage relatively well. Something simple and easy. There’s nothing simple and easy about whatever the fuck is coursing through him at having her so close to him, having her touch, soft and unsure as the expression in her eyes. 

She doesn’t know what to make of his eyes closing nor does she have time to consider what to make of that because an image, a flashback of a different kind of touch, a much more painful, visceral touch shoots to the forefront of her mind.

And her chest starts tightening, that fear drawing back up. 

“I–I can’t.” Because as much as some part of her, albeit big or small, likes this, likes being close to him, feels safe being this close to thim, another part, much larger and much stronger, can't handle being this close to him. “I’m sorry.” Eyes watering, she breaks away, Dulce is quickly behind her, Solana reaching to hold the puppy as she dashes up the stairs. 

Roman sits unsure, confused, angry. He stands up, pacing across the floor, hands up and on the side of his head before his fist slams against the refrigerator door. He curses, but not from the blow. That shit doesn’t hurt. 

His reaction and frustration is directed solely toward the fact that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s feeling right now.

The same thing Solana is struggling with as she sits on her bed, legs pulled up to her chest, silently crying into her thighs.

Both of them wondering the same exact thing:

What the hell just happened?

[femmenature]

nobody gets me, you do

Pairing: Ellie Williams x f! reader (ofc)

Summary: where your ex Ellie can't spend another day pretending she doesn't still love you.

Warnings: Inappropriate language.

-

you usually appreciated this kind of nights. Where you don't have to work and you can watch a series or put more effort into the food, and not just make a simple white rice. You used to appreciate it in Ellie's company. Now you prefer to keep your head busy, work, study, do some gardening even though you know perfectly well how horrible you are at it. And that your head will probably play tricks on you and remind you of how Els laughed for a week because a damn cactus dried up on you. A sigh escapes your thoughts. “See, this is what happens when you're distracted,” you say to yourself, leaning against the kitchen counter. But your relaxed posture didn't last long, as someone knocked on your door. Strange, knowing that you didn't order anything to eat and didn't invite your friends. You walked to the door and opened it with your eyebrows furrowed, you were going to open your mouth but it was her, and you just stood with your hand on the door frame and your heart in your mouth.

Ellie looked at me and blinked rapidly, as if checking that this was not a dream. Her heel rested on the floor, leaving the toe of her slipper raised nervously. “hey” she let out in a sigh, which she seemed to have been holding back for quite some time.

“hey…” my voice betrayed me and trembled as I said something as small as a greeting. Though I guess it only matters who you're saying it to, and having her in front of you isn't easy, more so when you've had no contact for the past five months.

“I know it's weird, knocking on your door knowing we're not together” she spoke fast on the last words, wanting to cover up the fact that you guys are apart, because it hurts her more than anything else in this world ”but I'd rather you see me as a freaking weirdo than keep this to myself any longer. Altough you know I'm weird, I mean, you know me better than anyone else and-” she stopped talking, knowing she was getting distracted.

“do you want to come in and we can talk inside?” even though you're scared to death and more uneasy than ever, you acted calm so she would be too. She nodded and you invited her in, closing the door behind her. “so…why are you here?” you don't act disinterested, not excited either, Even if you are. You disguise the fireworks in your stomach as you smell her perfume when she walked inside. As if your house is complete again.

“uhm, these five months” she licked her lips nervously as she looks away remembering the days she spent without you ”were the worst months in the world. And it's just pathetic to tell you knowing that you're the reason I had such a hard time. Or the absence of you. I was with a part of you, with your ghost that haunted me everywhere I went reminding me that it wasn't going to be the same without you, and the worst part is that even though it wasn't really you it was all I had left to not feel completely alone in the world. So somehow I didn't want it to go away” her eyes finally met mine, softening ”our pictures are still in my room, even our saved game from the last time we played Life is Strange together. I didn't touch it waiting for you to come back, in that stupid hope that you'd show up and we'd forget our stupid fight. But I guess our pride won us over once again.” she moves a little closer, slowly, as if she's afraid the floor beneath her will crumble ”and for the first time in my life I couldn't care less about my pride because I know you're on the other side of the scale. And the love I have for you compares to absolutely nothing I have or will ever be able to have.”

your eyes become crystal clear, you think this is not real, you imagined so much that this moment would come, you made so many scenarios with Ellie and that she will come back into your life, but not like this. She is practically showing you her heart like never before, in a desperate attempt to get back to being everything she loves and still loves. You were going to say something, but she cut you off, she had more to tell you, more to show you how much she misses you.

“So I'm here. I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that I don't expect you to answer me, that I'll be able to wait for you to think and answer me without falling apart from the anticipation of not being able to hold you in my arms again. I don't even know how I could endure these months without you” finally closes the immense distance and gently caresses your hand tenderly ”do you know how desperate it is that no one understands you, that the only one who knew how to calm you down was miles away from me in body and soul?”

her eyes are desperately searching for yours and her voice is begging you “the only person who could do that was you and it killed me to know that you didn't want to see me when all I wanted to do was kiss you as if the world would end after that. Nobody gets me, you do. Nobody can beat your eyes, your touch, your voice, your jokes, your love. I couldn't even look at another woman because I knew no one was worth it, no one is worth it. No one can look at me and know when I'm anxious, or how much I love space. They would see the stuffed dinosaur I have in my room as a simple stuffed animal, when you took the time to know which one is my favorite and buy it for my birthday and when I would give an explanation of that dinosaur and why I have that damn stuffed animal the only thing I will think about is that I lost you forever and and-"

you approached her and gave her a sudden kiss, knowing that if you let her talk anymore, anxiety would eat her up. The kiss is tender, desperate for time apart, but at the same time soft and romantic. Her hands brought your hips closer to hers while you caressed the back of her neck. After a few seconds you separated and rested your foreheads without taking your hands off where you had them

"I hope you never have to explain to anyone why you have a dinosaur in your room because I'm not going to lose you again" Ellie smiled and hugged you, hiding her face in your neck "I wasn't planning on doing it anyway. I was going to die without you then I wouldn't give myself the chance to have another girlfriend" you laughed caressing her hair "I missed you, Els" she kissed your neck tenderly without letting go "I missed you too baby"

-

I'M SORRY if it's not well written, I don't speak English and it's hard for me not to get lost!!! Enjoy <333

[dr-flipflops]

OOC: Will's Lonely 18th Birthday people, as per Cresent's request. - @permetutotheworld @the-eclipse-is-in-me @fukurouonthesea Here we go :) Its sooooooo long, I got so bloody carried away, sorry guys.

*Will left another tray in front of Nico's door, a yellow sticky note on the side*

(what the note said is in italics)

*I hope you've been eating all the food I'm giving you Neeks. Ew- I'm 18 today, EW!!! I'm oooooold :( . I don't have to be a functional adult now do I? Surely, I get a pass for being neurodivergent. I hope you have a nice day INSIDE, please come out. I miss you*

*It had been a week, and Nico was still holed up in the cabin. Will had been denied access, but he'd seen Cresent and Noa go in just fine, heck even CLARISSE gained entrance. It broke something inside Will, but he shrugged it off. They were his family, of course he'd let them in. Will was just an inconvenience he had to put up with, and take care of. He'd known Clarisse for years, Cresent was his sister, and Noa was like his little brother*

*Its fine Solace, come on. Its your birthday. Cheer up. Its fine. Everything's okay.*

*Will's siblings had given him a lovely morning, and the campers who remembered and were the ones who still looked him in the eye had wished him at breakfast. It was nice. But it wasn't the same. Chiron had given him the full day empty, but he had no-one to celebrate with. His siblings all had duties, and they refused to let him work on his birthday. Everyone else was busy too. Will would usually go back to Texas for the week to be with his mother, but with Nico holed up he wanted to stay here*

*Besides, it wasn't like he wanted to celebrate it anyways. The only thing good about it was that he was another year closer to the grave. He didn't know what to do, he wished he could work, that way at least he wouldn't feel so lonely and useless. At least healing gave him a purpose and he felt good after saving someone. At least he'd feel something*

*Will lazily walked through the woods, kicking his feet, cupcake with candle in hand. He made it to his special spot on the coast, where he had the shade of the trees, and a view of the sparkling lake, but could still bask in the sun's rays without it bothering his eyes, not that it had ever in the first place. Wind whistled past, and birds sang, the sun shone golden rays that illuminated the rocks, slick with crashing waves*

*The day was undoubted perfect. Will knew it was curtesy of his father, his way of saying "happy birthday". Will was grateful, but he didn't really feel it*

*The candle glowed bright, Will cupped the cupcake in his hands and held it close*

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to meee.

*Will blew it out gently, and wished that today would be the day Nico would come out, even if it was to just say a simple hello. Tears stung his eyes and he laughed a little*

Guess I'm an adult now. huh. Never thought I'd get here.

*Will leaned back against the rock behind his perch, face tilted up as one or two tears down*

But you always knew, didn't you Lee? You said I'd make it Micheal, you were right it seems.

*Tears choked his throat, he looked up at the trees shadowing him above, and the sun softly shining through the canopies. It was like they were here, he could almost hear their voice. Almost feel the laughter of the younger ones. Gracie would've loved to meet Fay*

I wish you were here. I wish you all were.

*Something shimmer past his head and he looks to see his mother's smiling face*

*Will jolts upright*

MA!!?

Naomi: Hi Billy!!! Aw, my little William has grown up so much, 18 now! I thought you were coming home for your birthday?

Will: You-you remembered?

Naomi: no, I just happened to throw a drachma into the lake on accide- OF COURSE I REMEMBERED WILLY!!! You're my favourite son, I can't believe expect so little of your mother.

Will: Ma, I'm your only son.

Naomi: Even better! No competition. Anyways, how come you aren't home?

Will: Sorry Ma, things happened, and I got caught up in camp.

Naomi: Aw, I wanna see my son! You're officially an adult!

Will *small laugh*: Still can't drink though.

Naomi: You can drink water.

Will *groans*: Maaaaa

Naomi: Oh pish posh. Those Americanos *tuts* we're Spanish William, they don't have to know *winks*

Will *laughs fully for the first time all day*: Maaa!

Naomi *grumbles about Americans, then gives Will a stern look* : You better come home for Christmas William Andrew Solace, and you can tell that Chiron of yours to stick it where the sun don't shine if he says otherwise

Will *laughs again*: Alright, alright ma!!!

Naomi *smiles*: Seriously. Oh look at you my sweet boy. When you were taken from me, you couldn't even tie your laces, now you're 18, all grown up. *sighs*

Will: I'm still your little boy Ma, always

Naomi: Damn right you are! Don't you change a bit Billy. You've got a big heart, you dare lose it and your Abuelo will roll in the grave, and your Abuela will storm over from Spain

Will: Don't worry! I won't :) Even if the reason is my fear of Abuela's ladle.

Naomi: That woman, when she has her hands on a cooking utensil, y'all better run away or run towards the table ready to be stuffed like a Christmas hog.

Will: Yeah.

Naomi: Well, you're only 18 once Willy, I hope you have a good day!

Will *tight smile, hiding the loneliness*: Yep, terrific, look! I got the cupcakes you sent me!!!

Naomi: Aw, *someone gestures off-screen* uh huh, *back to Will* Billy, I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna have to go, there's something wrong with the sound systems, I'm so sorry. I want to talk to you more, after all, my baby is only gonna turn 18 once, its a special day! *bites lip and looks conflicted*

Will *his heart breaks. He was gonna be alone again. He makes a smile*: Its alright Ma, I've got a cupcake to eat after all! *huffs a laugh*

Naomi *blows him a kiss*: Love ya Willy! Happy birthday sweetheart.

Will: Bye-

*Naomi cuts the message*

-Ma.

*Will swallows. He was alone again. His mother had more important things to do, OF COURSE SHE DID SOLACE, SHE HAS A LIFE, grow up Will. Will took the burnt out yellow candle from the cake, and bites into it*

*It tasted like home. Tears brimmed on Will's eyes and warm memories flooded his brain at the chocolate melting in his mouth*

*Memories of Spain- the brightly coloured streamers everyone would hang around. Abuela would be cooking a feast in the kitchen , so Will would wake up to the scents of heaven filling the house and smooches from Ma. He'd bound down the stairs and promptly be told that even though it was his birthday he still had to brush his teeth. Will would get it done as fast as possible, then go and help Ma bake cookies and cupcakes. He'd go outside and immediately be pelted with shouts and cries, hugs and noogies from the neighbourhood kids. Then, after being fed like a king, at night, the family would gather and Will would blow out the candles, and cut the cake to find the clue at the center*

*He'd use the clue to find others to find his gifts, which only then he'd be able to open. The whole procedure from the candles, to the singing, to the cake, to the hunt, to the opening would be filmed. Will's beaming face photographed on his birthday every year*

*Will finished the cupcake, and found a note in the centre. Hollowness that had filled his heart swelled. It was a little heart with a smile, and a "happy birthday Billy". Will smiled through the tears, and he was almost home in Texas with his Ma. But he looked up and the empty lonely came back. He smiled a bit through the tears. At least his Ma had sent him these. Will knew he was going to find other notes in the other cupcakes, he turned the paper over and found another message: "Brush ya teeth Billy"*

*Will laughed, and no one heard*

-----

*That night, Will came back late, his siblings already fast asleep*

*He felt vacant again*

*Nico had decidedly NOT come out. He didn't see Aria's smile all day, and Noa never even said hi. Cresent, as per usual, avoided him*

*Will collapsed into bed, and curled up. Emotionally exhausted*

*He missed home. He missed his Ma. He mourned his life. He mourned the Will Solace he used to be, the one everyone sees, the one everyone wants. Campers look at him, but its not him they see, they see the Will they knew, the Will he'll never live up- hell he doesn't even remember the memories, HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT WILL. He missed Nico. He missed being loved. He missed so much. He hated this overwhelming, all consuming loneliness. It's like his life has been reset, and everyone is treading on eggshells, and he was deserted by those he loved most all over again*

*For his "special day" he sure as hell didn't feel it- DON'T BE SELFISH SOLACE. he felt nothing at all, and while that may be a blessing some days, today he hated it. Hated himself. Hated living*

*When he had gone to pick up Nico's tray he saw that Nico hadn't taken the note. He always took the note. Will didn't bother placing another one with the next tray*

*Something consumed him*

*That night, Will cried himself to sleep*

[cameronspecial]

A New Kind Of Normal (Part 5)

Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Relapse

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.5K

Summary: After a fight with his dad, Rafe makes another mistake that could cost him everything.

Masterlist

Stella spots her dad easily in the crowd of parents and runs toward him. He picks her up, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “How was daycare, little witch?” Rafe asks. She moves in his arms to look at him, “Good. It was my turn to feed the fishy today.” For the past few weeks, Rafe has been picking up Stella at daycare and dropping her off at the diner. It was tiring at first to drive back and forward from the Outer Banks to the mainland every day, so he rented an apartment close to Y/N’s house to make the journey shorter. Ward wasn’t too pleased when Rafe started working remotely, but Sarah talked to Ward about it. “That’s sounds fun. Are you still mad at Sabrina?” he asks while buckling the little girl. She finds his eyes through the rearview mirror, “Yes, she stole my boyfriend.” “That’s okay, you’re too young to be dating anyway. Boys are yucky,” he laughs at the pouty face she gives him.

——

Y/N is refilling the sugar container when Rafe walks through the door. Her surprise is written on her face because Stella is at her grandparents’, so he doesn’t need to drop her off this evening. She sets the sugar down, “Hey, is everything okay?” “Yeah, just didn’t really know what to do with my time since I’m not dropping Stella off. I thought I’d keep you company,” he states, sitting down at the counter. She laughs, “I remember the first time my parents took her for the weekend. I had a lot of time on my hands and I didn’t know what to do, so I rearranged my spice cabinet three times.”

“That sounds fun. How did you arrange them?”

“By country of origin, and then by taste, and then by alphabetical order, which is how I already had it. So I’m glad to be your spice cabinet for this evening.” 

Harvey comes out from the kitchen and sees Rafe at the counter, “Hello, Rafe. I’ll be with you in just a moment.” “It’s okay, Harv. I’m going to the kitchen to get something to drink. I’ll put in his order in. You can head on your break once you serve your table,” she informs, putting the sugar back under the countertop. Patty receives his order and Y/N heads back out to stay with Rafe. “How has your day been?” she asks, sitting on the stool across from him still behind the counter. He looks up from his phone, “It was a little disappointing. Work was the same as ever and I didn’t get to see my little witch. Seeing you is the best part of my day. How about you?” Her heart flutters and she uses a cough as an excuse to hide the sparkly in her eye. “I like seeing you too,” she says, focusing on the countertop. He gives a little chuckle, “I was asking more about your day, but it’s good to know you appreciate my company.” 

He knows she turned him down for a date and it hurt at the time, but Rafe hasn’t given up hope. She said that she liked him and timing was the only issue. He just has to show her he can stay sober and be in a relationship with her. Her eyes shy away, “Now, I feel stupid. My day was not bad. Business is better than usual, which means more money for me.” “Don’t feel stupid, Buttercup. It’s a simple mistake. I’m glad that business is going well,” he comforts. 

The two engage in smile talk until Patty comes out to give Rafe his food. “Patty,  I could’ve brought out his food,” Y/N protests, moving out of the way so Patty can slide the plate directly in front of him. Patty gives him a warm smile, “I know, but I just love seeing this handsome face.” “Aww, Patty. I love seeing you too. If only I was a few years older,” he plays along. She shakes her head, “If only. I would never dream of taking you for Y/N/N though.” “Patty, he isn’t mine. He is free to do whatever he wants,” Y/N interjects, disappointing Rafe. He turns his attention to Y/N, “There isn’t anyone else that I want other than Stella.” She looks at him with shock, understanding the hidden meaning behind the look in his eyes. “Stella is one lucky daughter,” she states while breaking their eye contact. Harvey calls Y/N over to ask her a question and this ends their conversation. “You love her,” Patty remarks. Rafe nods his head, “I do, but she doesn’t love me.” “Just you wait. She’ll come around. You’re already on the right track. Stella is definitely the way to her heart,” Patty returns to the kitchen. 

——

With Stella away, Y/N decides to give Patty and Harvey the rest of the night off and she would close up shop for the day. What she didn’t anticipate was Rafe staying with her until she closed. He spent eight hours with her at the counter. About three hours in, he commandeered her laptop to keep himself busy as she took care of the customers. He would tell her random facts to catch her attention and tell her a joke to hear her melodic laugh. He would steal glances at her every so often. Unbeknownst to him, she would steal some right back. She told him multiple times that he didn’t need to stay, but he insisted he needed her company to fill the hole of Stella being gone. The last customer leaves the diner and Y/N locks up behind him.

She turns toward Rafe, who still hasn’t left, “Do you want something to eat? You have been here for eight hours.” “I could go for some fries, but only if you eat something too. You haven’t eaten since I got here,” he points out. Right on time, her stomach growls in a long low tone. She didn’t realize she skipped dinner and felt butterflies at the fact that Rafe was keeping an eye on her. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” 

Around fifteen minutes later, she returns with a place full of fries and a burger. She rounds the counter to sit beside Rafe and puts the plate between the two of them. “Do you want to watch a movie?” she questions, pulling her laptop to her to open Disney +.  His hand finds a fry, “Sure.” He lets her pick Ratatouille since it feels like fitting with them being in a restaurant and all. Y/N inspects the fries on the plate and before she can take the fry she decides on, Rafe mindlessly grabs the one she wants. The fry is near his mouth, but she grabs it out of his hand and shoves it in her mouth. “Hey! I was going to eat that, Buttercup,” he complains. She shrugs her shoulders, “I like the crunchy ones, Button. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let you have this crunchy goodness.” 

“That’s awfully selfish of you. How are you going to make it up to me?”

The pair had unknowingly gotten closer to each other. Their faces are only about three inches away from each other. His breath finds her lips and it takes everything in him not to bring them to his. She stares into his eyes, trying to figure out what he wants her to say. “Well… I don’t have much, but how about I let Stella sleep over at your place next weekend? Does that make you feel better?” she genuinely offers. Upon seeing she is serious, his face turns to joy, “I would love to have her sleepover. I have to get the spare bedroom ready. Maybe get her a few toys and some-.” “Woah, slow down there, Button. She is only there for a night. You don’t need to do too much for her,” Y/N stops his tangent. 

“I know. I just want her to enjoy her weekend with me so she’ll want to come back. So I can prove that I am a good father.” 

“Rafe, no matter what you do, she will want to be with you. You are her father and that’s all she needs.” 

Her right hand finds the side of his face and she plays with the bottom of his earlobe. He leans into her touch, letting himself be comforted after he is a little vulnerable with her. Her eyes flicker down to his watch and she notices the time. “Damn, it’s late. I should probably start walking back home,” she worries, scrambling off the stool and cleaning up their late-night snack. He looks at his watch, “You are walking home? What happened to your car?” “Joshua asked to borrow it and since Stella is not with me, I said it was fine,” she notes as a matter of fact. He helps her clean up and takes out his car key, “I see. I’ll drive you home then.” “Rafe, you don’t have to. You know it isn’t that far for me to walk,” she tries to refuse. He shakes his head, “Y/N, I’m not letting the mother of my child walk alone close to midnight. So, don’t worry about it and let me drive you.” She stops arguing and gets to work quickly cleaning up.

Once she closes the diner, they walk side by side to his car. He notices the goosebumps running up her arm and shrugs off his grey North Face jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders. She whispers a thank you. They get into the car and make their way to her house. He walks her to the door with his fingertips itching to touch hers. At the door, they turn to each other, looking into each other’s eyes. He takes a tentative step forward and she doesn’t move back. He is about to take a chance and lean in for a kiss when the door flings open to reveal Benedict.   

“Finally, you’re back. You sure took your sweet time with closing. Hey, Rafe. Y/N, do you have any mayo? I feel like eating just straight-up mayo,” Benny interrupts, walking away from the door to the kitchen. She pulls away from Rafe and follows her brother inside, devastating Rafe. He slowly enters the house after a few seconds to see the siblings bickering about Benny eating only mayo. The domestic sight makes him feel left out, so he bids goodbye to the pair. He is almost to the door when Y/N catches up to him. “Button, wait,” she calls out, gently grabbing his arm above his elbow. “I wanted to say thank you for keeping me company tonight. And for taking me home. I know you didn’t have to stay and that part of the reason you did is because of me. So thank you.” He looks back at her with a soft smile, “No problem. I have to protect the woman I lo- I have to protect the woman who gave birth to my baby girl.” She caught what he was about to say, nails finding their way between her teeth. “Right, well… goodnight,” she mutters, stepping back into her house. He moves back towards the sidewalk, “Goodnight.” Y/N waits for Rafe to be out of sight before closing the door.

——

Rafe opens the door to his apartment to find Ward Cameron waiting with an annoyed look on his face. “What do you want?” Rafe grumbles, leaving the door open and walking away from it. Ward enters the room, “You can’t keep living here. You need to come back to the Outer Banks.” “No, I don’t. I’ve been keeping up with my work and going back when we had a meeting. So I don’t see a problem,” Rafe argues, going to the kitchen to pour himself some water. 

“When are you going to realize that you are just playing pretend? That you are eventually going to get tired of playing family. It’s better you realized that sooner rather than later.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about. I’m not going to leave my family. You always say that family comes first and that’s what I’m doing.”

“Listen, Rafe. I know you and the only thing that you can stay committed to is coke and the family business. So stop kidding yourself.”

Rafe shakes his head in frustration, “Well, I’ve changed. I want to give my daughter the support you never gave to me but you gave to Sarah.” “When you realize this is all a mistake, don’t come crying to me to fix this problem. I already told you to sign a paper saying you’d only give child support,” Ward warns, heading back out the door. Rafe yells in frustration, throwing a water bottle at the wall. He doesn’t understand the point of his father coming over just to tell him he is going to end up abandoning his family. It drives Rafe crazy that Ward thinks he knows everything about his son when Ward barely takes the time to talk to him. His feelings for his dad come cropping up and he needs something to relieve the stress. 

A knock on the door causes him to stop his tantrum. Shit, he forgot he is supposed to have Stella over for tonight. A second knock comes when he is splashing water on his face to calm down. At the third knock, he opens the door to see an excited Stella and a nervous Y/N. His daughter walks into the apartment as if she lives there while Y/N notices Rafe’s emotion. “Are you okay? She can sleep over next weekend if this is a bad time,” Y/N says. He doesn’t want to talk about it, “I’m fine. She can stay. I could use her company.” She isn’t sure if what he says is the entire truth, but she trusts him to know what he needs and if he needs his daughter, she won’t stop him. “Okay, well call me if you need anything. I’ll be at home all night,” she informs, heading inside to give Stella a kiss before she leaves. Rafe sighs once the door is locked, turning toward his daughter with a fake smile. “What do you want to do, little witch?” She gives him a massive grin and pulls something out from her bag, “Can I practice my face painting on you, Daddy? I can make you into a monster.” “Doesn’t that sound like a great idea? I would love to be your model.”

——

The evening he gets to spend with his daughter is the best he’s ever gotten to spend. They went on a Target run and got a variety of stuff. Toys. Clothes. Food. Board Games. Accessories. Anything she wanted found its way into their cart. He didn’t care about the looks he got for wearing skeleton makeup that Stella put on his face. It may be June, but it is never too early to celebrate the spooky season. They got back home after the shopping spree to make all the food and play all the board games they bought. He had just put her to bed when the bad thoughts started to creep back in. The doubts he is feeling about being a father start to seep through. So far, everything has been great. They always have so much fun. But what happens when the real struggles of parenting start to begin? When Stella won’t simply go to bed because he told her so. When she starts to resist his authority because the newest of having a dad is over. 

His hands are going crazy with fidgeting with his watch. The leg bouncing up and down is the only thing emitting a sound throughout the living room. He goes to call Diana and is sent to voicemail. He wants to call Y/N but thinks twice about it because he doesn’t want to worry her. He knows he shouldn’t but he needs to stop the voices in his head. The DVD case in the TV centre is calling to him. His feet lead him closer to what he shouldn’t be close to. He gets out the case and opens it up to find the little bag of powder. Before this day, he forgot he had stashed it there and that is why he hasn’t got rid of it yet. It’s okay if he has a little bit though, just a little. Maybe if he knows he should control himself, then it will be better than using more. He just needs a little something to stop his brain. 

He forms one line. One line should be enough. The relief he feels, once he snorts the line, begs him to do another. One more couldn’t hurt. He doesn’t realize he has gone through the whole bag until he can’t make any more lines. The energy he feels gets him up and moving. He cleans up the mess they made while cooking and organizes the board games they played. After a while he starts to crash, so he lies down on the couch to try and get some sleep but the coke isn’t letting him. He stares at the ceiling for hours until eventually, the mindlessness of sleep overcomes him, forgetting to clean up the evidence of what he did. 

——

Y/N taps the door as lightly as possible to hopefully not wake up Stella. She wants to help Rafe get breakfast ready for the little girl. The knock goes unanswered, so the next one that comes is a little harder. Rafe opens the door with a confused look that turns to panic when he sees who it is. “Hey, Button. Sorry to wake you up so early. But I thought I could help you make Stells some breakfast. I hope you have some eggs because I was thinking about making some eggs benedict,” she explains, heading toward the kitchen to place down the tote with the food she brought. Rafe scrambles to block her view of his coffee table, “Uh, yeah. The eggs are in the fridge.” He was too late. Her eyes are already narrowed at something in the living room and he knows she saw his last night late activities. 

She heads toward the table to make sure she is actually seeing what she thinks she is seeing. “You relapsed,” she mutters to herself in a calm and worrying tone. Rafe runs to her side, gently turning her to look at him, “Buttercup, I know I did. But I promised it wasn’t that much. I just needed something to stop my thoughts.” Her head starts to shake violently as she yanks her hand out of his hold and walks back slowly toward Stella’s room. The anger she feels is now showing, “If it wasn’t that much, then how come the bag is empty, Rafe? How much was in that bag? HOW MUCH COCAINE DID YOU DO WHILE MY DAUGHTER WAS UNDER YOUR CARE?” The blow comes in twofold. The first, she didn’t call him the playful nickname she always does. The second, she called Stella her daughter instead of theirs. 

“I know I screwed up, Buttercup. But I promise, she wasn’t awake.” 

“You don’t get to call me that right now. I don’t care if she is awake or not. I’m upset at the fact that you did drugs while she was in the house. That she could’ve woken up while you were sleeping and had access to the mess you left. Or worse, you died on the couch because you overdosed. ” 

“Of course, you are allowed to be upset. But it was a mistake. I’m sorry. It will never happen again. Y/N, please.”

“I can’t Rafe. I know that relapsing is sometimes a part of the journey to sobriety and I can forgive that. I can’t forgive putting Stella at risk.”

Y/N walks away in the direction of Stella’s room. All he can do is wait there as he hears the door open. “Stella. Baby, wake up. It’s time to go,” Y/N murmurs, kneeling beside the bed and running her fingers through Stella’s hair. The girl gently stirs, “Why, Mommy? I haven’t had breakfast yet.” “Because, Baby, Daddy needs to go somewhere so we have to go. We can make breakfast at home,” the mother explains, helping her daughter put of the bed. She knows Stella wants to debate more, but isn’t allowed to because Y/N is packing Stella’s stuff as fast as she can. 

Rafe is still standing there when Y/N comes back out with Stella in one arm and the little girl’s bag over the other shoulder. This makes him rush toward her, “Y/N, please. Don’t go. Please.” She ignores him and walks out the door, leaving the food she brought. He can hear Stella demanding to say bye to her Daddy and it rips his heart out as he hears Y/N firmly say no. He slams the door shut, screaming into the oblivion of his pain. 

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