#patricia talks nonsense

[randomnameless]

I don't understand the fans who think Patricia could be Shez's foster mother and want it to be revealed that she was. I can already tell them how that would go:

Cornelia: "The woman who raised you was actually Edelgard's mother/Dimitri's stepmother!" Dun dun dun!

And then it's never mentioned again.

Patricia's an empty mystery box.

TBH I sort of get how infuriating it is to have Barney's mom mentionned in passing but nothing ever came out of that plot point, because, being interesting in useless things Fodlan games don't want to explore is why I'm still blogging about those games lol

Take Citrus, we knew in the base game (SS) that she was one of Rhea's artificial being to bring Sothis, and we had to wait for the DLC to learn her name and more than just "she was a homonculi who died in childbirth" (even if that "more" is relative).

Barney and their mom are complete mysteries, were they raised by Cleobulus, a random NPC, Patricia herself, who knows...

I wouldn't say she's an empty mystery box, because she plays a role in Dimitri's tragedy and explains some things about Adrestia and Supreme Leader (who is in denial about her Mother being a concubine and not Ionius's twu luf! - if Supreme Leader is in denial about this despite knowing best, what does it mean for the rest of her beliefs?).

Sadly, for all the "deep politics" (tm), the Fodlan games dgaf about Patricia, when she could have been, frankly, a treasure trove for more serious interesting AUs, instead of the WTF about her life being ignored to avoid developing Supreme Leader so she could only pander to the self insert.

Imagine for a second the shitstorm that should have happened if it was known the Faerghus King married the Emperor's concubine and one of the Emperor's daughters was residing in the Royal castle? Forget "sheltering refugees is a casus belli" nonsense Nopes tries to sell, you could make all sorts of AUs where Adrestia declares war on Faerghus for, idk, "abducting" the Emperor's wife (not the official one though!) and daughter - even if Arundel, still siding with Ludwig, ran away to Faerghus for a certain reason...

In Nopes, we don't even know what is Barney, a 100% human, a mixed race human-agarthan (since Solon makes it clear he doesn't see Ignatz as a human like him), an Agarthan, a construct, idk. Barney and Larva are so bland, you'd think they were only the tip of a giant iceberg, but upon closer inspection, they're just the tip of a half melt ice cube.

[starsexplodeatnight]

John Price X Reader!

My first published piece!

Captain John Pricex Reader!

Minors do not engage!

You loved him, really. But, John Price is a lot to handle. Yes, he is a family man, a great husband, a wonderful provider. But he holds on too tight. Tight enough to strangle. You- You had to do it.

even though it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest when he found out... Oh, his poor watery blue eyes you loved so much...

You cried your eyes out in bed that night, alone.

Price is eh, heh- heh, heh, heh. He's not letting you go, love. Not ever.

You live in this incredible house, curtesy of your husband's high paying career in the military. It's the perfect place for children to grow up...

Toxic Ex-husband Price never leaves. "The house is ours, love. Ours is ours." And leaves no room for debate. He'll live in the in-law apartment above the detached garage, yeah? He's not happy about it and uses every instance he can to weaken your resolve and stop this silly 'separation' nonsense.

Walk's out onto the balcony in the morning in his robe, coffee in hand. The robe is open, exposing his chest to the neighborhood. He doesn't care that the women jogging by can see and stare. He only cares when he sees you stop and stare out your bedroom window, all alone. Before you aggressively close the curtains, trying not to fall for his tricks!

Semi Toxic Ex-husband Price, who still wants all the gossip you used to share with him when you were married. He'll just stroll into the house from the back door and hear you chatting with your friend from Pta.

He does what he used to, sit his ass right next to you and press his ear on the other side of your phone. Does he care about the gossip? Not really, it's amusing, but not really his thing. What he loves? He loves how you used to turn to him and go off. You look so happy, chattering on and on about what you'd just heard. Including him in your life...

He says he doesn't really like the gossip but will get upset if you don't tell him every detail. His job is to know, love. You can't just leave him hanging! He will demand to know more about Patricia from the parent-teacher conferences. She slept with the teacher! You can't leave him hanging on that, luv! Just to get you to talk to him the way you used to.

Semi Toxic Ex-husband Price, who is your mother's favorite.

She hates your sister's boyfriend; she hates your brother's wife. You? You landed the cream of the crop!!!

How could you have left him??? Your grandma, your mother and your aunties LOVE him, smug bastard. He eats it the fuck up...

They greet him like the long-lost son they wish they had! Meeting him at the door with kisses on the cheek, beckoning him towards the kitchen, treating him like royalty. He is the favorite, and he's not even blood!

"Oh, such a handsome man! So nice!" "So polite!" "And respectful!" "Here, is she feeding you enough?" Oh, when they learn you've served him with divorce papers? They all cry out in alarm. Everyone, not just the women. Uncles, Grandpa, Cousins, all of them.

"What you talking 'bout divorce? fah! He still come to family parties!" They would totally be on his side… They all help in his case to get back together with you.

It'd make him so much worse….

Especially if your youngest kid is going to her first day of school. You both drop her off and you bawl your eyes out and he's there to comfort you, just like he had with all the times before… cradling you to his strong but soft chest. So warm... familiar... soothes the heartache you're experiencing.

Do you want another baby? You miss having a little one around now that your youngest is off to school, yeah? He can help with that…

Maybe- Maybe you... Maybe you were too harsh on him. Maybe, give him another chance...

[pictureinme]

kinktober day i. STRAP-ONS – patricia 'kitten' braden

word count: ~700 tags: dirty talk, somewhat rough sex masterlist | ao3

On her knees, Kitten tightens the harness around your hips and thighs. Content with her work, she motions for you to help her up.

“Tight enough, love?”

You move around, testing the limits.

“Perfect as ever, doll. You wanna get ready for me?”

She bites her lip and gets on her hands and knees on the duvet, her yellow slip just barely revealing the curve of her behind. The way she contorted her body for you, even when she was submissive, showed just how in control she was of the situation.

You get on the bed as well and begin to caress her body. Kitten’s figure always astounded you, the way her sharp angles contrast with the softness of her flesh. You roughly grab her ass, and she leans into your touch. Her knees open further, and she turns her head to face you.

“No teasing, pretty please… I’m ready.”

The desperation in her voice was palpable, and you chuckled, “Anything for you, my Kitten.”

You move her slip up, revealing evidence of her already preparing herself before you arrived. Her entrance glistened in the dim lighting, and you couldn’t resist the allure of it.

“Dirty girl.”

She whimpers gently, and you continue to feel her up, trying to elicit all the noises you could. You grab the lube from the spot next to you and begin to lube up your strap-on, spreading her open as you do.

Her impatience is evident by the movements she was making, trying to entice you into fucking her sooner. You gently slap her cheek, but that only encourages her.

“Come on, please, darling (Y/N)! Haven’t I been good enough?”

You line up at her entrance, teasing, “Patience is a virtue, dear Kitten.”

She mewls as you enter her slowly, making sure not to overwhelm her. This doesn’t seem to be a worry of hers, as she starts grinding back against you almost immediately. Grabbing her hips still, albeit harshly, Kitten relaxes into the feeling.

You scratch down her back and start to move. She relishes in the mix of pain and pleasure, and a moan erupts from her throat.

“That feel good, angel?”

She nods rapidly, “Yes, yes… I missed your cock so badly!”

You groan, moving in and out even faster. Her back arches into it, the eroticism of it all was almost too much to handle. You love making her feel good, especially in this position where you can grab her hair.

Doing so, Kitten whines, trying to meet your every thrust. As your fingers tighten around her blonde locks, you pull her up enough to kiss at her neck.

Your desperate thrusts into her were short and hard, and she wouldn’t have it any other way, especially not with you nipping at her most sensitive spots.

“Don’t stop, please… you’re filling me up so good!”

You see her length bobbing against her stomach with each thrust, and you start to lick up her neck, “Touch yourself for me, pretty thing. Wanna see you.”

Kitten is quick to obey, as always, and begins to fist herself. 

“Pretty baby, so good for me. You like feeling me deep inside, yeah?”

She nods, and you push her back down to the bedspread, her moans muffled by the fabric.

You fuck into her without abandon, and Kitten turns her face to breathe, “I’m so close, so close, lovely, sweet (Y/N)... can I?”

Beginning to deepen and slow your thrusts, you feign confusion, “Can you what, doll? Use your words like the big girl I know you are.”

She cries loudly at your teasing words, “Please, can I come? I need it, I need it while you’re inside!”

You hum, seeming as if you’re actually considering denying her.

“Come for me, pretty girl.”

You fuck into her harshly, reaching down to meet her hand pleasuring herself. The delicate touch you only just introduced caused her to shudder violently, and you felt her release all over your fingers. Her pants and shrill moans were a chorus you never got tired of.

Continuing to thrust, Kitten babbles nonsense until she reaches behind to grab you. Stilling, you catch your breath.

“Good girl, always love fucking you like this…”

She turns to face you from her position, smiling tiredly, “Love it when you fill me up, wish you could do it forever.”

You smile widely, kissing the small of her back as you exit her warmth, “Insatiable little minx, you are.”

[medusa12346]

Astrology observations=Calling them out

📸Virgo+ cancer placements can make a person very sensitive and bossy like why are you telling me how to breathe properly

📸Mutable AND FIXED rising signs be changing their aesthetic 24/7 like hmm 🤨

📸In a Leo-Pisces friendship, both of them do the nonsense and both of them understand don't understand it.

📸Capricorn placements while younger have dated someone older than them by 10010 years while older date someone younger by 20000 years pls what's wrong with you

📸Mars in 3rd/4th you are LOOKING FOR ARGUMENTS AND THEN COMPLAINING ABOUT IT YOU HAVE AN ISSUE

📸Pisces is sleeping at 7pm to wake up at 11am and being forced to sleep at 2 am to wake up at 4:30 get some help

📸Venus in 11th house is hitting on your friends no this is not a movie Patricia they don't like you

📸LEO LEO LEO MARS STFU we both know you love having people fight over you mf

Virgo trying to flirt:

📸no bc Taurus ends up in the mess created by their PISCES AND LEO FRIENDS

📸Capricorn sun + aries moon both my friend and Tae from BTS have this placement and they both are so mature and healthy and amazing and lova-i love my friend ok leave me alone- a Pisces

📸Pisces stelliums might be afraid of animals but also love them like hmmm make up ur godamn mind

📸Scorpios I love how you had 4-hour convos with a person giving them signs of crush and then don't respond to them for over a month that's so lovely hahaha okay now stfu

📸Pisces/moon in 4th/ venus in aries/1st house after a stranger smiled at them:

📸GOODNESS aries venus need to stop cheating on their crushes which they arent dating like 🔫no

📸Pisces+ fire in a chart= Very giving adult but very receiving baby SO GREEDY BAHAHAHA like esp while making them do something they don't like, "no you forgot my 10000000th chocolate if i went to school" I PROMISED ONE

📸Gemini/Aqua/Scorpio after recognizing they have issues:

📸Virgo in 5th is screaming internally after someone complimented you but also being like "haha thanks" 😀dont know how to respond to compliments

📸Libra in 3rd is being too nice to call someone out so you're just like "haha 😀no everything's fine i had a mental breakdown bc of this person but 😀my fault haha can we talk about our feelings later lets go on a roller coaster that's more fun 😀" and also the person which libra had a mental breakdown bc of was fire in 3rd😃

Leo and scorpio relationships look like:

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

A great HOA S3 idea that I would’ve loved to see, inspired slightly by lotus casino scene in the Percy Jackson movie (or at least the vibes of that particular scene)

Denby has a whole bunch of WEIRD shit in her house, and I personally don’t think they touched on that NEARLY enough. So I envision: Eddie, Fabian, and KT are on a mission in the gatehouse, they (Eddie) start messing around with all the weird shit, and after opening one of them, they all accidentally get high off a mysterious (and possibly magical) substance, and then all three of them are completely and utterly delirious. This leads to a lot of giggling, nonsensical talking, foggy brains, and mostly a lot of lying around on the ground. However, they were in the middle of an important mission, which they are vaguely aware of, and then they spend a lot of time trying to figure out which one of them is with it the most and can lead them through the suddenly mountainous and daunting tasks of attempting to open door and remember what the fuck they were doing

This ends with Patricia and Alfie opening the door all normal (it was not locked) and seeing the three of them lying on the floor, and they’re just like “??????” And the other three see them and are like “OH my GOD you’re my HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and look at them like they’re their saviors, even though literally all they do is drag them out of the room

[justabunchofquotesfromallover]

"While she was growing up, the people who were responsible for her had acted senselessly against her--people who were old enough to know better--people who thought that they *were* sensible. They had disparaged her, ridiculed her, and thus defined her. They had oppressed her and attempted to control her. The people who treated her this way were, in fact, her parents. They called her their "little numskull". They ignored her complaints with accusations: "Don't you talk back to me", "You think you're better than the rest of us." Most of the time, Nan felt sad, inadequate, and confused, but she wasn't sure why. At nineteen, she met a charming and intelligent man, but upon marrying him, he changed drastically. In fact, instead of charming her as he had when courting her, he put her down, called her vile names, and yelled at her so much that she became traumatized and sick. She felt that if she stayed she would die from pain, but she didn't know what to do, because she was accused of causing it all. She didn't see herself as wise, nor did she know where to look for a solution. This, of course, made her task, to make sense of nonsense, extraordinarily difficult."

--Patricia Evans, PhD, "Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You"

[grassyhorizon45]

Changed. || Marauders - 17

Minuet's POV

“Not you too….” Professor McGonagall groaned. “Minnie, divination is a waste of time, no matter how lovely Professor Trelawney is.”

“But she says she sees potential in me…”

“She’s worse than a babbling bumbling bunch of baboons. Every year I get at least one student that tells me she predicted their death.”

“Every year??— Has anyone died yet?”

“Nope.”

Minuet sighed with relief. 

“What made her approach you? You’re not a third year yet…”

“She overheard my conversation with Severus about—” She hadn’t told Erva yet… her sister didn’t know about it.

“—something.”

Minerva raised a brow. Minuet realised how sus she sounded and giggled. 

“No, it’s not what you’re thinking! I’ve just… I’ve been hearing things.”

“Oh… What sort of things?”

“It’s like a ‘psst psst psst psst’ noise,” Minuet mimicked. “And only in places with more people.”

Minerva pondered this. “I’m no expert but that sounds more like legilimency than any sort of second sight.”

“What’s…. that?” She was learning so many new terms recently her head was going to burst.

“Legilimency is something like telepathy in muggle books,” Minerva explained.

“So, something like mind reading?”

“Yeah.”

“But I don’t know what you’re thinking about right now, how’s that legi-mency?”

“Well, fair point but maybe it’s in its early stages? I don’t know, I’ll ask Dumbledore.”

~

“So word got out you’re gonna be taking divination?” Lily asked curiously. 

“Apparently so… but Erva says it’s a load of nonsense…”

“Why do they teach it if it were useless?” Severus pointed out. “Surely there’s more to it, right?”

“You make a great point there, Snape. I say just go for it Minnie, you’ll never know till you try.”

Minuet gave Lily a ‘really?’ look but Lily simply nodded. She sighed, now she’d have to start having her hands full with extra classes from Prof. Trelawney on top of her usual workload.

Minuet and Lily said goodbye to Severus and returned to the Gryffindor common room. 

“There sure is a lot of commotion in here huh…” Lily mumbled. Minuet nodded and tapped the nearest person’s shoulder, “Sorry, what’s going on?” Minuet asked politely. 

“We’re —urgh, watch your step Thompson!— tryna see who made the —THAT’S MY FOOT WEASLEY!!!— quidditch team.”

“Oh… Thank you!”

Minuet looked at Lily, “They’re tryna see who made the quidditch team, Lily.”

“Ah…” she replied. “But why’s there this many people??” 

Minuet shrugged. The same senior turned around to talk to them, “Rumour has it, some first year made the team! No one believes so we all want to take a look-see at the name list ourselves.”

“I see! Thanks- uh…”(Minuet)

“Patricia Rakepick. Call me Pat,” she said enthusiastically.

“Nice to meet you! I'm Lily Evans, and you've already met McGonagall…”

“Oh, like the professor?”

Minuet nods.

“Honestly kid, I don't know why I'm tryna cut the cue here. It's utterly pointless,” Pat chuckled.

Lily remembered something. “I thought first years weren't allowed to try out?”

“Exactly. This kid apparently barged into tryouts and caught the snitch before anyone could blink! They say the captain was furious but—”

“He still made the team?” Minuet guessed.

“Yes-sir-ree!”

“Huh, I wonder if we know the guy…” said Lily.

“I bet you we do. Who else in our year has the guts besides Potter and his gang?” Minuet whispered in Lily's ear.

“So Pat, what year are you?” Lily asked, wanting to know the senior better.

“5th year— Be right back!!” Pat said before zooming off.

“I wonder if we'll get to try quidditch in class. It's weird to try out for something you don't know if you're interested in, right?”

Lily laughed, “Great point…”

Lily's POV

“Solace, hey. What are you doing here at this time?”

Isn't she normally out with her friends? She's hardly in our dorm.

“Just resting,” she replied. “You?”

I shrugged.

“Heard some Gryffindor guy in our year made the quidditch team. Any idea who?”

“I do! It's my cousin James, he's absolutely insane,” she chuckled.

I laughed, “Of course it's Potter, should've known. 

“I'm almost certain he has a crush on me by the way. Take a look at this-”

I handed Solace the letter Minuet passed me.

She was holding back her laughter while reading.

“I know right, it's only been a month and he's already making a move…”

“Those boys and their dares,” Solace sighed, smiling. “Oh, before I forget– Sorry about that Slytherin friend of yours… I've tried stopping them but it's no use.”

Oh, well…at least she's trying :D

“It's just… why?”(Lily)

“No idea. Boys will be boys I guess.”

Sigh, oh well. Poor Severus.

Previous chapter | Next chapter

[missnight0wl]

Every now and then, I remember that in the “Call to Knighthood” TLSQ, Rakepick revived the freaking Ice Knight, and we like… never talked about it again.

It’s seriously hilarious, especially when you consider that everyone else tasked MC with regular things like cleaning and whatnot. I mean, just imagine that meeting in the staffroom.

Dumbledore: It came to my attention that MC is particularly stressed recently, quite understandably. It made me think that it’s time to strengthen their bond with their friends because friendship is magic and a cure to all problems. I also had a genius idea to make it in a form of training for knighthood, just for fun! Now, we need some trial suggestions. Anyone?

Kettleburn: Oh! They could clean my classroom! I don’t really have time for that… I mean… It would remind them that even the most mundane activities can be noble when you’re helping others!

Dumbledore: Brilliant! Who’s next?

Flitwick: My classroom is fairly clean, but I was planning to do some rearranging. It could be a good test of cooperation!

Dumbledore: Fantastic! Severus?

Snape: I want to combine the previous ideas. All of the cauldrons in the Potions classroom have to be cleaned, the floor needs to be scrubbed and the shelves dusted. While cleaning, MC can organise everything alphabetically and restock all of the ingredients.

Dumbledore: I’m afraid we don’t have time for all of that.

Snape: *heavy sigh* Fine. I’ll send them for one thing to the Forbidden Forest.

Dumbledore: Great! What else?

Rakepick: I will revive the Ice Knight to test them in combat.

Everyone: …

Kettleburn: (whispering, to nobody in particular) Can you even do that?

Rakepick: Can I do that? Of course I can.

McGonagall: I don’t think it’s necessary, Patricia.

Rakepick: Of course it is. Otherwise, MC will be bored to death, and I can’t work with a dead apprentice.

McGonagall: You might be a little overdramatic…

Rakepick: Nonsense! Besides, it’s perfectly on-brand with knighthood trials.

[shadowbunnydragon]

To Bailey, Lily, and Russell: Since you’re dating a predator, what kind of relationship challenges do you face? I’m only asking because I’m a guy and I’ve had a male wolf friend recently come to me and ask me out

Russell, his ears turning pink: "Uh... w-well..."

Baily: "You do have to remember that us humans are omnivores, making us predators as well. Granted, our lack of claws or sharp teeth kinda make that a bit hard to believe for some mammals..."

He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his buzzing phone, accidentally swiping up and hitting the speaker option.

Leodore: "Hey there, Barney! Just calling to let you know that I've mulled it over, and I still find it silly that you guys are predators. No offense, but you kinda look more like how we'd make a felt puppet mascot for a show to teach very young mammals tolerance and understanding and all that nonsense towards predators. Basically you're predator lite, if you catch my meaning. Also wanted to let you know that I'm gunna be kinda late for our next card reading session, things did NOT work out in the waste disposal union like I had thought it would. Seriously, you make one, or several, jokes about organized crime connections, and suddenly everyone gets up into a tizzy... oh great, it looks like I'm getting pulled over now. I probably shouldn't be talking on my phone while driving, but this is just getting ridiculous. Anyways, see you in maybe an hour."

The phone goes silent, the three humans staring wide-eyed at it in silence.

Lily: "Anyways... it's true that there have been some challenges. Like smaller herbivorous mammals sometimes being nervous around us and giving us side-eyed looks and wide berths."

Russell: "Patricia and David told me that it was a lot worse towards predators a few years ago, but that it's gotten better. The specism towards predators in general, I mean. But then there's also... some members of Jackson's pack aren't too happy with him not dating another jackal, or at the very least, another canid... and sometimes, despite the brave face he puts on... you can see that it does in fact hurt him from time to time..."

Lily: "Some of Renato's family has voiced similar concerns... with his great-grandmother suggesting that we are some kind of evil spirits that have started appearing to work a dark mischief... whatever that means."

Baily, rubbing the back of his head: "I might be kinda lucky in that regard. I'm sure some members of Sophia's pride might not be too happy with her bringing in a human... especially one who was, until very recently, homeless. But thanks to a 'certain someone' and their increasingly embarrassing antics, I guess I'm looking golden in comparison..."

His phone buzzes again and, after receiving now somewhat amused nods from the other two, Baily swipes up and enables the speaker function yet again.

Leodore: "No, officer, you've got this all wrong! That wad of money just fell out of my pocket! It was not a bribe! Speeding and talking on my phone when driving is around $150 here, I've gotten enough tickets for that to know by now; so why would I try to give you $400 when I can just bite the bullet and pay this fine?! OOF!" A loud slamming sound followed by a muffled voice speaking. "Oh, uh, Basil, we're gunna need to have a rain check for that reading. Apparently someone needs to FILL A QUOTA!"

The call ends.

Lily: "... Anywho, opening your heart to someone can be scary, and each time there will be their own sets of challenges. But, there's the chance that you could find someone who makes your heart sing... ahem, and whom you get on with wonderfully. Ultimately, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my big fluffy Marshmallow."

Baily: "I never thought I could feel the way I do about Sophia. Sometimes I wonder if she isn't an angel..."

Russell: "And I'm really glad that I said yes to Jackson! I don't know how things will go down the road, but I'm really happy here and now!"

Lily: "I think that it's safe to say that all three of us here wish you the best of luck with this wolf boy!"

[markwatnae]

2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Monday's Not Coming - Tiffany D. Jackson - Oct. 3 This book ruined my life. No notes. 5 stars.

Slippery Creatures - KJ Charles - Oct. 20 1920s gays solve a crime! One of them is a soldier back from WWI, the other is a conman, they fuck. 5 stars.

The Alpha and His Ace - Ana J. Phoenix - Oct. 24 It was…okay. 1 star.

Luke and Billy Finally Get A Clue - Cat Sebastian - Oct. 26 1950s gay baseball players stuck in a cabin? Sign me up. 5 stars.

Blue Steel Chain - Alex Beecroft - Oct. 26 This one was just absolute nonsense. I had fun though! 2 stars.

Getting It On With Gargoyles - Hazel Mack - Oct 29 Very interesting world-building! I’m personally not a fan of how the sex is written and how the male characters sometimes talk to the female characters, but overall it was fun to read. 4 stars.

Tangling with Trolls - Hazel Mack - Oct 29 Mostly the same as Gargoyles. Except this one had an extra strange element of the troll man being exponentially larger than the human woman so…… 4 stars.

Backstroking with a Tiger Shark - Charlie Richards - Nov 1 A SeaWorld-esque aquarium stocked entirely by marine life that are actually human shapeshifters. GAY human shapeshifters. Amazing. My biggest beef is the abysmal OSHA violations in the first chapter that set off the events. 3 stars.

Floating with a Sea Cow - Charlie Richards - Nov 1 I would personally love to be soulmates with a huge manatee. Sign me up. 3 stars.

Diving with a Hammerhead - Charlie Richards - Nov 2 I would NOT love to be soulmates with a huge hammerhead but I won’t yuck your yum. 3 stars.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen - KJ Charles - Nov 2 There’s a mystery, there’s men in love, there’s generational family drama, it’s good. 4 stars.

Semper Fi - Keira Andrews - Nov 3 This book ruined me. And it was great. I'm still crying. 5 stars.

The Sleeping Soldier - Aster Glen Gray - Nov 4 Absolutely adorable. 5 stars.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle - Samantha Allen - Nov 9 This book can be summed up in one word: Potential. 4 stars.

The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides - Nov 10 This book can be summed up in one word: Stupid. 1 star.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space - Karen Miller - Nov 10 Do you like Obi-Wan Kenobi miserable and in pain? Read this book. 5 stars.

A Marvelous Light - Freya Marske - Nov 14 This book series has me in a chokehold right now. I’ve read this trilogy twice and restarted it again. 15 stars.

Tommy Cabot Was Here - Cat Sebastian - Nov 14 First in the Cabot series and super cute. Tommy is gay, his ex-wife is gay, and Everett is the cool gay teacher. 5 stars.

Make You Mine - E.M. Lindsay - Nov 14 A chubby Jewish baker and a hot gay pornstar fall in love in Savannah, GA? Fuck yeah. 4 stars

All Systems Red - Martha Wells - Nov 15 Murderbot is forced to socialize, hates it, and peaces out. Same. 5 stars.

Artificial Condition - Martha Wells - Nov 15 Murderbot makes a friend! ART means everything to me. 5 stars.

Rogue Protocol - Martha Wells - Nov 15 My least favorite of the series, but mostly because there’s no Preservation team or ART. 3 stars.

Exit Strategy - Martha Wells - Nov 16 Murderbot has to rescue Dr. Mensah! It’s fucking pissed! 4 stars.

Network Effect - Martha Wells - Nov 16 Murderbot gets PTSD! Also accidentally releases another SecUnit from its own module. NICE! 5 stars.

Fugitive Telemetry - Martha Wells - Nov 19 The only thing you need to know about this book is: JollyBaby. #BringBackJollyBaby 5 stars.

System Collapse - Martha Wells - Nov 20 Murderbot learns what PTSD is! Isn’t a fan. But gets a family—begrudgingly. 5 stars.

A Restless Truth - Freya Marske - Nov 25 Lesbians on a cruise ship in 1909! Titanic wishes. 4 stars.

Peter Cabot Gets Lost - Cat Sebastian - Nov 25 We get a classic “fall in love via cross-country road trip” story set in 1960 and it’s adorable. 5 stars.

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots - Cat Sebastian - Nov 25 Alex is a probably-autistic doctor and Daniel is finding himself. They realize they’re in love. 5 stars.

A Power Unbound - Freya Marske - Nov 27 Wrecked me. Destroyed me. Put me back together. 5 stars.

Red, White, & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston - Dec 11 Made me believe in love again, if only for a day. 5 stars.

Perfect Ten - K.M. Neuhold - Dec 30 A perfectly fine, fun romance but this time on a super gay island off the coast of South Carolina. 3 stars.

One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston - Dec 31 A 1970s lesbian out of time and a protagonist that is actually me. Grabbed me by the heart and squeezed. 5 stars.

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

1, 2, 16, 30 for the book asks!

What is the best book you have ever read? This question hurts deep in my soul but anyways. A random selection of what I see as the objectively 'best' books I've read (i.e. the kinds of ones I could picture being on a top 100 list published by the guardian or smth) are Les Miserables (Victor Hugo), The Secret History (Donna Tartt), Open Water (Caleb Azumah Nelson), Home Fire (Kamila Shamsie), Shuggie Bain (Douglas Stuart), All Quiet on the Western Front (Erich Maria Remarque)

2. What is the worst book you have ever read? I get to rant about bad books again lmao. No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood was just completely nonsensical imo. Feel bad because she's Miette's owner. The Miette tweet was better than this entire book.

16. Do you write in the margins of your books? NO. I want my books to remain clean and neat always. No writing, no spine cracking, no dog earring. This is who I am.

30. Is there a book that changed your life? Les Miserables by Victor Hugo allowed me to meet all the lil gay people in my phone. Thank u Victor Hugo.

[admirableadmiranda]

Hi.....just saw your random facts....can I ask your top 10 fav books (fiction) that you had? Sorry for asking another random ask.....Thanks....

No worries, anon! Love to talk about random things! It's a lot of fun!

Top ten books... it'll be top ten books at least of today. I could easily compile a top fifty.

Catwings series by Ursula K. Le Guin. Really simple children's stories that are some of the first books I can remember reading and are still some of my favorites.

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley. A completely different heroine from so many I'd read as a young kid and she still stands out to me today. Just a beautiful comfort read.

Modaozushi by Mo Xiang Tong Xu. A much more recent entry into this list, but it has soared up to one of my favorite books of all time due to wonderful characters, beautiful complex plot and a something about it that continues to engage me after more than a year of focusing on it.

Ciara's Song by Andre Norton and Lyn McConchie. A Witch World book that is set mostly outside of the big plots, but is a story about an orphan who grows up to be happy even in the midsts of her world being at war and so much loss.

Dealing with Dragons/Calling on Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede. Two of the Enchanted Forest Chronicle books and I cannot pick one above the other. Dealing with Dragons is the funny and charming series of a princess who is utterly bored with her life and decides to go become the princess to a dragon instead. Calling on Dragons is the quest to recover a magical sword featuring a no-nonsense witch, the same princess who is now a queen, a clever magician, two cats and a rabbit who's manage to transform himself into a donkey. Makes me laugh and grin the whole time.

Corambis by Sara Monet (the last book in the Doctrine of Labyrinths series) Specifically just this one. After three books of the leads struggling to overcome the absolutely miserable upbringing they had combined with the miserable present day, they actually begin to make something of it and find some sort of peace and happiness all the while dealing with a mysterious clockwork engine that seems to be gearing up to try and kill everyone around them.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. A lot of gently poking fun at typical fairy tale tropes combined with a very sassy narrator and a romance that leans into constant bickering that I actually enjoy.

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip. This one I can't quite put my finger on why I love it so much other than that it is haunting. It is not the happiest of stories by any means, it is about a young woman who has lived alone with only many mystical animals called by her family who is in search of a mysterious bird called the Liralen, one of the last strange beasts not in her menagerie, while below the kingdoms seek to control her and her mysterious animals in their wars.

Deerskin by Robin McKinley. If the previous book is somewhat haunting, this one definitely is. It is a retelling of the fairytale of Deerskin/Donkeyskin/Catskin, where the fairest queen in the world dies and makes her husband promise to not marry anyone again unless they are as beautiful as her. He swears that he will not, but cannot find anyone until their daughter comes of age and resembles her mother exactly. Deerskin is a much darker take on a dark fairytale, yet there is some light and hope and it ends on a gentle note. Not a story for the faint of heart, but still one of my favorites all the same.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley. If at this point you haven't guessed that she's one of my favorite authors, then I don't know what to tell you. Sunshine is a bit of a departure from the others, it is a modern day story set in a world in which vampires and werewolves and such are real, and our protagonist is an ordinary baker who makes the mistake of traveling out on her own to a lake where she is shortly snatched away by vampires to torment an old enemy of theirs, where it turns out that Sunshine is a little more than they were prepared for. Full of lavish descriptions of food, a lot of sass and snark and a world that gives you just enough description to be starving for more.

Thank you so much anon! I hope you enjoyed my desperate attempt to wrangle all my faves into some sort of order.

[mearcatsreturns]

Favorite 2022 Reads

Last year, I did one of these wrap-ups and enjoyed it, so I figured I’d do another! These books were ones I read for the first time this year (except the bonus, which I re-read this year and really resonated with me) that I enjoyed more than the rest. There’s some romance, some horror, some fantasy...and hey, let me know if you’ve read and enjoyed these, or if you have recommendations you think I’d like in 2023. These aren’t in order of enjoyment because I can’t be bothered to rank that intensely, but are arranged alphabetically by author’s last name. 

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Friends. Buddies. Pals. This book right here. I really enjoyed LB’s YA fantasy books, so I figured I’d finally give this one a shot. And boy am I glad I did. I’ve realized that while I do read a ton of romance novels, the books that usually get me are urban fantasy. This one has horror, dark academia, and commentary on academic elitism and social privilege. Trigger warnings abound, but it’s worthwhile if it won’t mess you up too badly. I’ve already put in my preorder for the sequel, Hell Bent, which will be released in January. 

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

An end-of-the-year surprise! During finals, I don’t let myself read any new books, but this one came in from the library and I didn’t want to risk not reading it. It was a trap...I was going to read it just during my commute, but I could not be stopped. This is a YA urban fantasy novel, but it’s impeccably researched and well-written. Arthuriana meets critiques of systemic racism and traumatic grief and hooooo, it’s good. I’m eagerly awaiting the second book in the series, which was released not long ago. 

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Listen. Have you ever had the experience of reading a romance novel and then realizing you relate more to the “bad” woman that the male protag dumps so he can get with the sweet, gentle one who will just be the best and most supportive wifey ever? Or that you’ve been in that boat yourself? This book provides justice for all the ambitious women with rough edges that want to see themselves in a romance novel, without demanding that she sacrifice her ambitions and have 55 children (while still being sympathetic to other life paths). Bonus for publishing industry nonsense and complex sibling relationships. 

The Deal by Elle Kennedy

I thought this would be just a fun palate cleanser of a friends-to-lovers college story. And it is that, but it also ended up being so much more. Let’s talk the friends-to-lovers angle--I rarely read a book where I so thoroughly believe in the friendship between the characters before I see a hint of romance. It was so well done. Then, as for the other, it had one of the most realistic and compassionate treatments of how sexual assault can affect people even years later. It wasn’t solved and cured and tied up with a neat little bow, but it was hopeful nonetheless.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Ah, the complexities of grief and recovering from conservative subcultures. Loving your parents but knowing they aren’t doing right by you. Confronting exploitation and exploiring recovery. This memoir is a gut-punch, and it’s incredibly well-written. I can’t wait to see what Jennette does next, even if that’s dropping out of the public eye. 

Bonus Re-Read Fave: Fair Game by Patricia Briggs

I believe I read this for the first time last year, but this year was when it started hitting hard for me. In addition to being a fun urban fantasy novel (it’s book 3 in a series, so perhaps not the easiest to just open and dive into), but ooh boy does it hit. You know how The Deal is compassionate about dealing with sexual assault? Well, this book may take on a fae angle and deal with prejudice, but it’s about the catharsis of someone who loves a victim being willing to burn the world down for them, and I fucking love it. *chef’s kiss*

[rosemary1315]

SU OC: Pink Agate

[Update: June 6, 2022 ]

Well, I create new su gem oc again. This time, she's Agate (my first Agate oc). This is Pink Agate.  Her other nickname is Patricia, she got this nickname from Bradley Stuart.

Backstory

Pink Agate/Patricia lived on one of Blue Diamond's colony planet.

Before Era 3, Pink Agate was Captain. Until once day, Pink Diamond got Earth as her colony. After she heard this news. It made her interest in this planet. Then, she started study about Earth on her own and learn from other gems who work for Pink Diamond.

Later in once day, While Pink Agate was doing her work as Captain. She saw and heard other gems talk about Pink Diamond told them about organic life and humans living on the earth. But they thought what Pink Diamond said is nonsense, and they don't care about humans. Because, they think humans are lowest and worthless to them. That moment, she started interest and study about humans.

Then later, Pink Agate realize Earth is difference from other planets she know. She think humans are intelligent and something more than mostly gems realize about them. Then, she started dissagree about colonization on Earth. Because, she don't want this have same fate as other planets. Plus at that time, she tired with her works and Caste System. She want be free someday.

Several thousands years later, after Era 3 is begin. Pink Agate heard about many gems move to earth she decided to move to earth. Then later, she became friend with other gems at Beach City.

Days later in once day, While Pink Agate was relaxing in Beach City. She met Bradley (At that time, Bradley came to the city to visit his younger brother, Oliver and his nephew and nieces. Later, Oliver take him to Beach City). That moment, she can see his confident and his smile. Then, she started fall in love him.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The Trilogy That Surprised the Hell Out of Me

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You were raised on female protagonists in books who were extraordinarily competent. Whether they had to work for it (think Tamora Pierce's heroines or Patricia C. Wrede's Cimorene) or whether it came naturally (examples abound, don't make me list them), your typical SFF heroine could generally take care of business. So I was surprised as all hell when Neryn, one of Juliet Marillier's heroines, spent the trilogy fragile--for lack of a better word--and still managed to be immensely compelling and pull out some really surprising solutions to conflicts that were not variations on "beat the ever-loving snot out of the bad guys." This trilogy focused on community building and interpersonal support, and in a way that I honestly was not expecting. Let's talk the Shadowfell Trilogy.

The first book in the trilogy, Shadowfell, opens with a classic "dead parent in chapter 1," and just kind of keeps going downhill for Neryn. She is stuck trying to find the rebel training ground all by herself after her father's death (and frankly, that might be a good thing because he was about to sell Neryn off to pay his gambling debts), and despite help from the fair folk and the immensely sketch but seemingly on-her-side Flint, Neryn gets really, really sick.

I have to say, I appreciate that in a world with magic and fair folk, being malnourished, exposed to the elements, and quite frankly just delicate still leads to people getting sick. I also love that Neryn getting sick also connects so well to the wider world and overarching plot, because Neryn is a caller. In this case, a caller is essentially someone who can speak to the fair folk and at some level compel them. So naturally both our rebels and Keldec, our evil king, want to get their hands on this rumored caller. Fair folk intervention would change the balance of power in Alban, but so would Neryn dying of her illness.

Enter Flint. He is very clearly set up as a double agent, but what precisely his deal is in this book is not explained in detail, which lets us as readers judge him purely by his actions rather than his particular set of skills--and those will absolutely be an issue going forward. And in this book, he measures up well.

This book sets up Neryn's physical delicacy, which is going to be a motif throughout the rest of the trilogy, and her ability to still make a difference using the skills and knowledge she does have. Ultimately, Neryn does make her way to Shadowfell by the end of this book.

The second book, Raven Flight, introduces the rebels in more detail, but specifically Tali, who is basically glued to Neryn as a bodyguard because despite better food and care and some training, Neryn will simply not ever be a warrior. I literally cannot express how much I was loving having a physically fragile protagonist at this point, because this particular plot setup almost always requires a battle-capable protagonist who can step into either a hero or leadership role. Neryn is fascinating because she is not and will never be either of those things, but without her behind-the-scenes mission to the guardians, then the physical battles would ultimately not matter at all.

To just briefly take a break from the Neryn love, Tali's grouchy, no-nonsense, "love-is-an-unnecessary-vulnerability" attitude manages to be endearing rather than grating, and watching Tali learn to appreciate Neryn for herself is such fun to watch. Tali's arc, of going from muscle to someone who can lead, is not the main storyline, but makes for a really compelling B plot.

Shadowfell and Raven Flight are a little on the slow burn side (both for plot and romance), but The Caller move a bit faster. It has to, because Neryn, Tali, and Flint are literally in the lion's den when they have to infiltrate Keldac's court to ascertain the truth of rumors of a second caller.

Overall, and without spoilers, I was less of a fan of this trilogy than I was of other Juliet Marillier trilogies, but Iove that all of Marillier's heroines bring something different to the party, so reading her books never ever feels repetetive in the way that other authors with multiple series can. This trilogy is absolutely worth a read.

[amplesalty]

Halloween 2022 - Day 10 - C.H.U.D (1984)

Will it be FAB or FUBAR?

Marketing is an interesting beast, there’s people that are paid a lot of money to make decisions on how to best make a product or service appeal to the general public. How can we make the most money possible by showing off our product in the best light possible. What colour do we make it? How do we price it? What do we name it?

How about anything other than C.H.U.D. Just say it out loud to yourself; C.H.U.D. It’s got no spark, no razzle dazzle. It doesn’t hang in the air, it just sort of flops out. C.H.U.D. Can you ever imagine saying “Two for C.H.U.D, please.”? Or seeing a trailer like “In a world where darkness roams our city street, something darker lurks below them...C.H.U.D, coming to a theatre near you...”.What even is a C.H.U.D? I think I’ve only ever heard it as a compound insult, like chud monkey. There’s very evocative names that would make you rush out to see something and perhaps some so ridiculous that they go full circle and make you want to watch anyway, like The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. But ridiculous is the name of the game today because this is a pretty ridiculous movie.

Pretty much the first thing you see is a grown ass woman just being yoinked right off the street by some sort of monstorous arm, pulling her into the sewers below.

And you’ve got blog alumni John Heard here playing a photographer, George Cooper, in a really dirty looking tank top. It just looks so uncharacteristic for him, I guess I’m so used to seeing him in suits.

He’s not the alumni around here because his fellow Home Alone star Daniel Stern is here as well!  He plays “Reverand” A.J Shepherd who runs a local soup kitchen who’s worried about some of his regulars. See, they live in the sewers but haven’t been coming round much lately. This is of interesting to Captain Bosch of the NYPD who has been getting numerous reports of missing people lately, including his own wife who was the lady getting dragged under at the start.

From being vaguely aware of the reputation this movie has, plus the quick glimpse of the ‘man in a rubber suit’ arm at the start, I was fully on board for some nonsense but this one really threw me for a loop by going full on police procedural about the whole thing. You’ve got Bosch running round trying to solve this case, his guys tailing Cooper, Shepherd playing police informant and sharing all the weird stuff he’s been finding in the sewers like Geiger counters and hazmat suit pieces. It just goes in this completely serious direction that I wasn’t expecting, all talks of cover ups and classified information, calls to higher ups in the police with cries of ‘I can’t keep this under wraps any longer, chief, the people need to know!’.

Which is beautifully undercut by the periodic sightings of our monster of the week, the aponymous C.H.U.D; Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. He looks like Manbearpig only with glowing yellow eyes. He has yellow eyes! So help me God, yellow eyes!

It’s like the cheesiness is made so much more effective when it has the serious stuff to play off. You’ve got to have peaks and valleys to this kinda thing, you know? You can’t just be dumb the whole time, you need that straight man to play off.

The movie has a suprising number of people you’ve actually heard of attached to it. Like a young John Goodman here. Ever Patricia Richardson is apparently in it, she of Home Improvement fame, though I don’t recall seeing her.

Daniel Stern though is really great, his impromptu tag team with hardboiler cop Bosch is amazing and really shines in this one scene where they’re trying to get answers from the police chiefs and this guy from the Nuclear Regulatory Commision who is trying to cover everything up. When playing by the book doesn’t work, Shepherd breaks out the big guns and threatens to leak everything to the press including the juicy images they have a homeless dude having nearly being torn to shreds. Even for this important meeting though Shepherd couldn’t get fully clean. It really is like everyone in this movie is covered in this fine layer of dirt. I suppose it makes sense, everyone spends half their time down in the sewers.

Such a fun movie in that ‘so bad it’s good’ sort of way, towing this thin line between the sublime and the ridicioulous and it just finds the sweet spot. The monsters might be a little iffy but it has nice effects in other places too with it’s gore and multiple decapitated heads.

Gratiouitus use of a dead dog hanging from its leash though.  Worrying amount of animal violence this year...