#people I know NOTHING about how this influences the rest of the world but perhaps some other countries can join in on this?? I hope

[dubiousdisco]

as of september 6, 2022

[403tarot]

⫬ ⫬ ⊹ . . . SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE — WHAT DO YOU NEED NOW?

hello! today i offer a post about a very important subject: spirituality. take what resonates with you and leave the rest. close your eyes and take a deep breath to choose the pic that calls you the most. feedbacks make duckie really happy <3

PICK A POCHACCO!

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 1 ...

Your personality today is the result of a mix of unique experiences. Life hasn't always been kind to you, and that has directly influenced how you perceive the world and interact with people around you, which may have caused some important aspects of your character to retreat. Nevertheless, lately, you've been actively seeking to rediscover yourself and recover from the damages of your past.

Ah, the past. When you were going through such a delicate moment and felt your heart burdened with sadness, perhaps no one extended a hand to help you stand up. Although it was painful, you can't let those wounds keep bleeding and staining your path going forward. It's time to put a stop to that.

Your subconscious is actively working to help you find emotional balance in your life again. Problems, fears, and anxieties can't prevent the blessings destined for you from coming your way. You have a strong spiritual protection that never leaves you alone, and it calls for your success and peace.

Prioritizing yourself is essential in this new stage of your life. Know that not everyone will understand your actions — they might call you selfish, distance themselves from you, or say that you've changed. But you must stay strong; taking care of yourself is not a selfish act, but an altruistic one: by tending to your needs and reaching your goals, you become a better person and an inspiration for others to pursue their own happiness.

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE:

ROSEMARY — PURITY, HEAL, REMEMBER

When rosemary comes into your reading, it's time to cleanse and purify. Don't hold onto things or people that aren't beneficial to you or your path. Let go and rid yourself of unnecessary energies. Be wise and take note of what you are purifying and why. This insight can help you continue to grow. Repeat to yourself:

" I remember, I cleanse and I heal"

cards pulled: the high priestess & the empress | ace of cups & 5 of pents | 6 of pents & knight of swords | 5 of wands, the moon & queen of swords | rosemary

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 2 ...

What is draining your energy and willingness to move forward? The burden on your shoulders has always been heavy, but still, you persisted and remained strong. The stones on your path, no matter how heavy they may seem, cannot gain enough strength to prevent you from reaching what you desire. It's time to look back, see the entire journey you've already traveled, and allow yourself to be proud of things you achieved til now.

Your peace has been disturbed. It seems you can never stay stable for long, and just when you think things will improve, something appears to trap you in anxieties again. You wonder, "If there really is something or someone divine regulating all things, why does the scale of justice never seem to tip in my favor?"

I know you've been trying hard and would like an immediate return, but unfortunately, that's not how things work. Your heart needs to calm down and accept that not everything will always be rosy because life is built on ups and downs. It's necessary to see things from another angle and distance yourself from negative energies as soon as possible, as they will only drag you down further.

Everything you want and desire will be within your reach because nothing beneath the sky is impossible. You have everything to achieve happiness, even though you often forget that. Confront your negative emotions and free yourself from what troubles you. Scream into your pillow, cry, release it all. You are always so kind and understanding with other people's problems... why aren't you the same with your own problems too?

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE:

SPILLED SALT — RELEASE, CONFRONT

If spilled salt shows up in your reading, it's telling you to be aware of the evils that maybe trying to creep in your life. Take time to confront this issue or person. Don't allow yourself to be held down to people or things that are not beneficial to you. Take control, confront and release these energies from your life. Make a wise wish and repeat to yourself:

"Blessed be"

cards pulled: strength, 10 of swords & knight of wands | 2 of wands, 4 of wands & justice | the hanged man, 10 of cups & 6 of wands | the devil, the magician & queen of cups | spilled salt

IF YOU CHOSE POCHACCO 3 ...

You are insatiable with your goals. Your desire to grow, evolve, and achieve shows that you have been striving to present a better version of yourself. However, excessive self-demand and perfectionism may be disturbing your mind too much and, worse, hindering your climb to the top.

You often lament, "I could have done things differently," "I didn't do enough," "I wish I could go back in time to start over and try harder," ignoring the fact that everything you've achieved today is the result of your own merit. You did exactly what you should have done and undoubtedly gave your best within what was possible at that moment. Keep moving forward. Strive to make the future better. Don't wait until next Monday... start taking action now.

Accept and understand that you are the one responsible for the good things in your life. Treat yourself and what you have with more kindness! Instead of always thinking about what you can achieve in the future, look at what you have now. Don't become obsessed with what the next days, months, or years hold for you. Live in the present. What is meant for you will never escape you and will come at the right time.

You have been dedicated to being on the right path, and that way, you have a bright future. Nevertheless, it's necessary for you to still celebrate the little things happening in your life today. They might not be as grand as what you aspire for your future, but they are still important and part of who you are. When was the last time you took some time for yourself? When was the last time you wore your favorite pajamas, ate popcorn, and watched your favorite series without worrying about the anxiety that thinking about the future brings? Reconnect with your inner child who was delighted with a simple bag of candies (even if they were mostly bad). Sometimes, all we need is a bit of simplicity.

DIRECT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE

EARTH ELEMENT — GROUNDING, SURVIVAL

The element of earth invites you to slow down. With earth comes bring stability and growth. Earth can also bring light to your current work and money energy. When this card shows up in a reading, ground yourself, connect with Mother Nature and take into consideration the material aspects of your life. Connect with her nurturing energy. Earth is here to support you in all that you do. It's time to grow. Repeat to yourself:

"I grow with the earth"

cards pulled: 8 of wands, 9 of cups & knight of swords | 10 of pents, 3 of swords & temperance | 4 of cups, knight of cups & the devil | king of wands, 3 of wands & page of cups | earth element

deck used: rider waite-smith & inner witch oracle

you can book a reading with me!

• twin flame / soulmate - $18 • future spouse (+18) - $25

• spiritual advice - $15 • one question - $3.50

dm me if you're interested or want to know more of my methods <3

check my pinned to find out more of my free PAC readings!

[mako-neexu]

all guda related stuff in mahoyo collab

summoning as a highly complicated magecraft -> highly intact sense of self, magical energy, magical crest, sheer willpower........you who is light and equally dark....

casual comments/banter to the people they trust

guda getting shocked of all things at a talking bird www

gudako -> young girl that likes to jog every morning

gudao -> brat that likes small time candy store sweets

UGH the further emphasis on Servants being familiars that no one - not anyone should just use (exceptional...)

stressing the role of a 'Master'

'I also make mistakes a lot'

"I still don't see what's so special about summoning."

guda screams during summons? lmao kind of reminds me of mash with lord camelot

the way guda just refers to other people as 'that another human' www (i know 'person' is more accurate but to me it sounds like an alien in disguise calling someone as 'fellow human' ww)

Of COURSE guda knows how to stop their own pulse

disbelief. perhaps gut feeling. guda's perception of death to others. (i guess in the face of unnatural they would doubt it. but considering Id chapter, it would depend on the person and how theyre closest to?)

'more like tobimaru' 'more like soujyuurou' getting angry on behalf of someone without letting it show as well... i Understand.

THE TOPIC OF AGING KILLS ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE HESITANT????? dont yokuwakaranaina ME????

Don't face world-ending disasters alone

IM CRYING OH MY GOD IM NOT WELL "did you sleep well?" "i slept peacefully because the night was quiet and nice" AUGH GUDAAAAA😭

probably nothing of note but additional descriptor to guda is that they look like a college student as compared to previous descriptions of being 'high school student'.......

not being good at horror stories 🥹 reminds me of summer 5...

(unwell) i forget about guda's tactical prowess sometimes (lies) + guda's mention of the looking glass reminds me of berkercas valentines...

Subtle but gudao's reaction to beating down kashin is 'exhausted or relieved' meanwhile for dako she has the 'doubt' in her dialogue

subtle again but theres a hesitance to guda when asked about what the future looked like. but their second option is saying "eh there arent any flying cars anyways"

ahh okay now i know the crypto stuff guda said. its from gudao. is this MHX's influence lmao. gudao youre advertising crypto seriously? ww

guda casually joking about the times they astral project out of their body likes its nothing and mash is not normal either of course and treats it as regular occurrences. well, its regular but for a normal average person in the 21st century, it certainly isnt ww

GUDA ONCE AGAIN PROVING that despite being 'camera' for us players, they actively hide information and i am not over that fact. (knowing who the culprit is before most of the rest-)

guda not hesitating at ALL to rayshift back to 1999 where the end of the world was supposed to happen www

Ah!! To encourage kinomi in confessing, guda confessed their own out in the open!!!

A bakery with the one they love / A wish to reach the South Pole

You may not be able to have all of your dreams, your nights be peaceful, but I hope that you will still be rewarded at the end of your journey 😭

[remimibanana]

A bit about Paradox

So, I wrote a massive story with Furina and Neuvillette, which you can find here!

I didn’t want to make the notes section too long with all my thoughts regarding the story, and so I decided to write all here in this one post!

If you’d like to learn a bit about my thought process behind writing the story, then you’ve come to the right place.

All below the cut!

First of all, this story wasn’t meant to be as long as it is.

I originally wanted to beat my record of 17k for a story, so I aimed for about 20k. Maybe 22k? Like…25k at the most?

That sounded feasible, right?

And then it became longer. And longer. And longer the more I wrote…

I thought I’d never reach the end. It just kept going, aha.

I kept writing until it felt all complete to me. I wanted to tell a cohesive story, which requires a lot of words!

This is why this story took so long to write! Apparently, it took me over a month to write this….

I made the document on the same day 4.2 came out. But I think I started writing a few days later.

I was meant to write one more fic before the end of the year, but I think this might be final one for the year!

It took longer than I expected to write it. But I’m very proud of what I’ve written!

But let’s start from the beginning. What made me write this story in the first place?

I started writing this story after I finished playing Act V and Furina’s Story Quest.

I knew I wanted to write something as soon as I finished the quests, because that’s what I do lol

For example, that’s what I did when I played Neuvillette’s Story Quest. I get really inspired after playing!

I love Genshin's Archon Quests and Story Quests so much.

I always want to play everything first to learn more about the characters before jumping right into writing.

I don’t want to butcher their characterizations. I always try my best to stay as close to canon as possible, but add my own headcanons as well about things like powers because well…I can!

I knew this time around, I wanted to write in Furina’s POV!

Since I wrote in Neuvillette’s POV for Resolution of Water’s Complexity. I thought it would be cool.

And after the events of Act V and Furina’s Story Quest, I knew that I wanted this story to be sad. I surprised myself at how sad this story can get.

Sorry. I break hearts aha.

But it also has its funny moments too! I love humor, and I try to add into my stories in the hopes I can make you all laugh.

This is why I set it after Furina’s Story Quest in particular. I wanted Furina to have her vision since it does play a part in the story!

When I started writing this, I had a very, very basic idea. You know the summary for Paradox?

That’s all I had.

Along with this one thought of Furina dancing on the stage.

Nothing else was planned. I just wrote and it became what it is now!

It’s how I usually write.

I wanted dreams to be a major aspect of the story. I love the concept of dreams, and how they can feel so real.

It's like what they said in Thelxie's Fantastic Adventures.

Perhaps fantasy is not just fantasy after all.

A decent of the fairytale world into the real world. It temporarily became reality, and influenced real things in our world.

I think that's how I'd describe my story, although it was a total coincidence that the event sort of has the same ideas as my story lol

Let's talk about the dream Furina has at the beginning of the story.

As you can tell, it plays an important part throughout it all. It’s referenced explicitly multiple times.

It was the first thing I wrote, which basically set the trajectory for the rest of the story.

I wanted to catch your attention from the very start, which I hope I managed to do!

The dream goes deeply into Furina’s thoughts while she is dancing for her people, which are rather dark as you can see.

On the outside, she's being what her people want her to be. On the inside is another story.

I based this off the things we see in Act V, and what I thought Furina would think about her role.

She mainly didn’t want to fail Fontaine. She received an important role from Mirror-Me, as we know as Focalors to play as the Hydro Archon.

It’s why she worked so hard to keep up her act. Even if she suffers, she would suffer for all of Fontaine.

Everything and anything to protect them from the prophecy. But in the dream, she fails. They realise she’s not the Archon.

Even though she didn’t fail in reality.

It’s what she keeps dreaming about, even if she doesn’t want to keep dreaming of such scenarios.

It’s hard to let go of the past, especially after 500 years.

You feel really bad for Furina in the dream, right? I felt bad writing it aha

As you may have noticed, it’s sort of a parallel with what happened in Furina’s trial!

Particularly the end where everyone looks away from Furina. There are a lot of parallels within this story, which I hope you were all able to get!

It sounds like I planned all this extensively beforehand but I really didn’t lol

Let’s talk about Fillian!

Just like in Resolution of Water's Complexity, we have a character I made up for the story. I hope you liked Fillian!

They/Them pronouns because yes. We support our non-binary friends here.

Honestly, I started writing with those pronouns and it sort of stuck so I kept it that way. I hope I didn’t mess up the pronouns anywhere!

They are a producer and a pretty good actor that plays a huge part in the story.

Pretty much, I wanted a character that was genuinely nice to Furina.

Furina deserves to have at least one person she could truly consider as a friend.

They weren't initially going to have such a huge part, but just like I did in Resolution of Water's Complexity, I wanted to make everything connect.

The name Fillian just came to me while I was trying to work out what name to give them. It's a bit strange, but I feel like it's something you would see in game.

Fillian was the one who danced with Furina at the Fountain of Lucine at the beginning of the story.

Even from the beginning, they were so kind to her. That’s just how they are.

It looks like that they like her, but not in a romantic sense! Although people seem to take it the wrong way, as seen lol

They truly care for Furina. The kindness of them is something Furina can’t truly understand at times.

The interaction when they meet again near her house was so fun to write. It sounds bad what Fillian tells her, and just kept getting worse and worse for her…

It made me laugh. I hope it made you laugh too!

My favourite part is when Fillian gave her the dress she wore in the second act.

I saw that so vividly in my head. The way they would hand it to her, and the way Furina took it...

The fact that they said the same words they did back at the Fountain of Lucine…they truly are something.

Fillian was so fun to write!

Let’s talk about the play next!

This idea came about when I was writing Fillian and Furina's first interaction after the Fountain.

I needed a reason as to why Fillian came up to her. It was the only thing I could think of, so I made them a producer who was also an actor who wanted Furina to act in it.

As you can obviously tell, Filia is Furina and Neuron is Neuvillette. I wanted it to be obvious lol

The initial plot of the play took over 1000 words to explain as I tried to make the plot.

I wanted the plot to loosely resemble Furina’s life. Only if you knew Furina, you would notice.

Particularly, the fact that Filia was playing a role as her older sister who was named Flora.

The name Filia came about because I wanted it to sound like Furina somehow. I couldn’t think of a better name that wasn't too obvious.

Flora was a name I chose because it starts with F and it alludes to Focalors in a way. Even though we already have an NPC named Flora in game lol

Even though Furina played as Filia, I still wrote Furina as you may have noticed. It might be a weird choice, but I felt like it made more sense since Furina was pretty much playing as herself.

I mentioned how Furina has different hairstyles and outfits for the play. This all came about from the concept designs for her!

When I saw these, I fell in love with them. They’re all so good! I had to add them into the story somehow.

Luckily for me, I had the whole play idea!

So Furina can change her appearance drastically because of her vision. I mean, it’s not that far-fetched since she can change between her Ousia and Pneuma forms.

This was the only way I could think of justifying how Furina changed her hairstyle.

For Act 1 and 2, Furina has this hairstyle and this is the outfit that I described!

For Act 3, Furina has this hairstyle and outfit.

That's what I hoped I conveyed!

At the beginning of the play, Furina freaks out because it reminds her of her dream. See what I meant by parallels? There's another one right there!

It affects her so much so, that she breaks down in the middle of the second act.

That was painful to write, the fact that she thought she ruined the whole play too?

Fillian was the true MVP here. The way they comforted her, and didn't belittle her for anything. They even wanted to shut down everything in the middle of it!

But Furina couldn't do that. She wouldn't. Even if she was all hurt, she would finish waht she started.

And then it only makes things harder for her at the end of it all when she sees Neuvillette up there.

He was truly up there, by the way. He only left because he couldn’t handle the intense emotions he was feeling at the sight of Furina crying.

Unfortunately, Furina didn’t know that. And that was the final straw for her.

Furina running out of the Opera Epiclese was something that I wanted to make as emotional as I could.

I used a lot of mirror imagery and ideas in this story, and it is quite evident with when she goes to see herself in the Fountain of Lucine's waters.

Hands drag Furina into the Fountain. I chose hands because I feel like hands are pretty scary?

Let’s talk about what the hell happened at the Fountain of Lucine. I’m sure you are all wondering.

I’m going to refer it as a crazy dream here.

Neuvillette explained it as an overflow of the Hydro energies within the Fountain of Lucine. It reacted to Furina’s emotions, and caused manifestations within the waters based upon past memories, and Furina’s own ones.

I hope that made sense! I literally just made up the explanation because uh…I had to justify why that all happened!

Pretty much, Neuvillette’s emotions were in such turmoil that it affected the Fountain of Lucine, since it was in close proximity to him.

He can control the whole Hydro Element now, after all.

If it was just the skies before, why not something as powerful as the Fountain?

It was shown before in Neuvillette’s Story Quest that he could look through the memories there.

Since it’s where all the waters converge, the Hydro energies within it became unstable.

Furina’s deep emotional pain resonated with the unstable energies when she was next to it, which caused this crazy dream to occur.

Yet this dream truly could hurt her.

It was so unstable that it made her memories come into reality with the past.

It’s like how Vacher saw the people he killed with the Primordial Seawater.

This part was heavily inspired by two things:

Sailor Moon by Naoko Takeuchi and ENA by Joel G!

A bit of a strange combination, but let me explain.

I got really into ENA around the time the video Power of Potluck released. I love how strange but interesting it is. It’s really good, I recommend all the videos!

That’s where this whole part came to be after I watched said video.

I stole the whole act idea from it, and wanted to make it as weird and crazy as I could.

It’s so strange but interesting at the same time, right? Just like ENA. Or it’s just weird and you question why I wrote it at all aha

The acts were named after each of the Archon Quest names.

Prelude of Blancheur and Noirceur

As Light Rain Falls Without Reason

To the Stars Shining in the Depths

Cataclysm’s Quickening

Masquerade of the Guilty

I suppose it would be best if I went through each of the acts one by one and explained a bit about them!

1. Prelude

This one is practically a parallel to the first act in Power of Potluck, it was my major inspiration.

ENA is sort of floating through this place full of pipes. And in my story, Furina is floating within water.

Neuvillette appears as a voice! I wanted to bring Neuvillette in somehow, and I thought that would work the best.

A voice Furina can listen to and follow, even if she didn’t recognize it was him in the first place.

The reason his voice was cutting off was because his own powers going out of control in his haste to save Furina.

As Neuvillette explained at the end of the story, the light was a memory he accessed for Furina to go into, although it was rather random.

2. Rain

Since this act is called Rain, I wanted to relate it somehow to the idea of it.

And that’s when I thought Furina could go back in time to when Neuvillette’s predecessor, the Hydro Dragon was alive.

I made her assume Egeria’s form, because that’s what the memory was.

Egeria meeting the Hydro Dragon in Fontaine somewhere.

I made up everything here by the way, who knows if Egeria was even close to the Hydro Dragon back then?

The reason the Hydro Dragon's form became Neuvillette was when he entered the memory, he took over the Hydro Dragon in the memory.

When did he take over it? Around the time Furina reached out her hand towards the Hydro Dragon, probably.

So Neuvillette heard all her thoughts and feelings. I assume he has full control of the memory, but even so...those hands never stop do they?

I hope it was interesting to read!

3. Stars

This one was heavily inspired by Sailor Moon. I stole the whole hooded figure and River of Forgetfulness idea from it.

I was trying to think of what I could do for this part, and I was reading Volume 12 when it came to me.

In this volume, Sailor Moon and her companions go to a river of sand in order to reach their destination. They meet a hooded figure in a boat.

Sailor Moon and her companions go on the boat, and the sand turns into water and drowns them all in the River of Forgetfulness, doomed to forget everything about themselves.

I made the hooded figure Focalors, since I did say that she could be seen within Furina’s reflection.

I also foreshadowed it when Furina thought “You’re here, aren’t you?” before those hands took her into the Fountain.

Her role was to be cruel and crush Furina down until she was all broken.

I had a lot of fun writing the conversation between Focalors and Furina.

Once Furina sinks down to the bottom of the river, Neuvillette comes to rescue her. Furina has forgotten herself pretty much, but comments in her head about what she hears.

I used this as a chance to hear Neuvillette's side of the story. All this time, I made you think that Neuvillette wasn't truly there any of the times before.

But he was! And we find out his true feelings about everything, including his love for Furina.

He tells her his true name, and it makes her remember! She wakes up, and then Focalors appears again.

Neuvillette here finds out that he did hurt Furina. We don't get to see his reaction to it until later on, but it was the catalyst.

Surprise, surprise! Focalors is actually an Oceanid! And every single fragment of Furina you've been hearing about.

Uh, I'm not sure how much sense it makes, but I was trying to make it sound like each of these fragments were one of the people lost in the Poisson incident.

Or uh...I don't really know lol

The ending of this was abrupt because Furina was forced into another memory.

Even though Neuvillette tried to protect her, everything is still too unstable.

4. Cataclysm

This one, uh...I don't really know why I wrote what I wrote lol

I wanted to reference the first dream again, but decided to bring in Filia and Flora? And the Guillotine that ended Focalors?

It's probably the strangest one out of all the acts, but I like it!

The Personified Fear and Fearful Harmony Filia and Flora talk about are references to the PS1 errors. I love console errors, and these two are some of the coolest ones.

The ending was also pretty much cut (get it) short by the Guillotine shooting down.

Who knows what really happened at the end?

5. Masquerade

This one was just an excuse for Furina and Neuvillette to dance. I really like dancing!

I was imagining something like this for Furina's look for this act, but I couldn't be bothered describing it all lol

Furina dreamt about this whole scenario before. I thought it would be something she would dream of lol

It also sells the fact that this was all real and that it was based on memories, as Neuvillette explains later on.

It also foreshadows the future kiss if you know what I mean 👀

Here, Neuvillette asks the same question regarding love.

Was it love that made him hurt her?

Of course, it all ends before Furina could actually give her the answer. I like to make things painful.

And that's the end of all the acts! I hope they were cool to you!

I really like them.

Let’s talk about what happened when Furina “woke up” from the crazy dream.

This is the most emotional part of the entire story, it hurt to write it.

I made Furina think it was all a dream. And this was the final straw for her. She breaks down completely.

She goes to the mirror once again, and tries her absolute hardest to smile. She thinks that smiling would help, but she couldn't do it.

I had the idea of Furina pounding against the glass very vividly, and had the idea of making it actually shatter but I thought that would be too much.

Still hurt to write it.

I did have a bit of trouble working out how to bring Neuvillette in. So, I made him a wall.

Furina did say he was like a stone wall, right?

The reason Neuvillette hugged Furina right away is because he was basing off what he saw in the play.

When Furina was crying there, she hugged Fillian tightly. So it was the same idea here!

When he says to lie down, it made me laugh for some reason. It just sounds out of place, so much that it was perfect.

I feel like the rest is pretty self-explanatory! I hope it was a fitting end to it all. It hurt me to write the part where Furina basically tells him to go away.

THE KISS. TWO KISSES ACTUALLY. THE WAY HE GOES BACK IN FOR ANOTHER KISS YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

Ahem.

I made them kiss because yes I needed kissing.

When Neuvillette mentioned how it looked like Furina would disappear, and the whole star in his chest comment and Furina;s explanation...that I stole from Sailor Moon too lol

The disappear part was from Volume 4, when Usagi is with Mamoru in his place after Chibi-Usa wanted to stay there. Mamoru hugs her from behind, thinking how it looked like Usagi was about to disappear.

And the star in his chest was from the very end of Volume 10, where Mamoru put a hand to his heart and wondered why his chest was so warm, as if there was a star inside of it. And Usagi explains how everyone has a star in their heart.

That was sort of the end to this saga!

Let’s talk about the very end.

I wanted to write something a bit more lighthearted as an epilogue.

Here, Furina is finally getting that cake Fillian said they would save a few slices for her.

She's wearing the dress she wore in Act 2 of the play, with her vision attached as well!

But of course, we have Neuvillette appear, who looks like he's a scary dog from afar lol

I wanted them to dance again. I like dancing, and I feel like it's a good parallel to what they did in Act 5 of the crazy dream, and what she did with Fillian.

I keep doing the whole "Neuvillette is a wall" thing, sorry. I just really like the idea.

I wanted Furina to know that it was him who gave her vision to her. I mention the vision multiple times, so I thought it was a good way to end it all off.

My favourite part of all this is when she says 'I love you" to him, and the waters shoot up. It's so darn adorable!

And with that...the story is complete. Basically 43k words later.

After all this time, I managed to finish this story. It took me forever!

Thank you for reading all of this, I hope you enjoyed learning about my thought process behind it all!

I love these two to bits.

[tabibitto]

Heirs of the Moon

m.list

CW: angst, death, betrayal, sh, drinking abuse, family disfuncion

Summary: Since the death of Crepus Ragnvindr, His two sons have all but severed ties with each other. Only speaking when they must. And neither brother ever fails to remind the other of the reason why. However strong their hatred for each other, they never managed to show such disdain towards their little sister. But perhaps hate would have been kinder then neglect.

Note: This Story is Built on the Theory of Pierro being Kaeya's father, and the Tsaritsa collecting the gnosises to rebel against celestia

Previous | Next >>

Prolouge: Winds of Winter

Nothing fucks you harder then time.

A thing I've learned over the years, vile but truer then the words of God. Through this, i have also been taught to never forget who I am.

The world certainly didn't. I was foolish to believe that having a family could have erased who I was taught to be. Or the burdens drilled into us from a young age.

Kaeya did, perhaps he thought pushing me away would have fixed it. Would have kept me safe from the scorching flames he was forced to bare, visionless and scared. Hands shaking as he struggled to keep up with such a heavy and hot weapon.

Such a sight it was. And at times, as I lay awake at night do I remember the event and wonder If my decisions could have made it better

If i tried harder, If i listened more, If i went away when asked and came back when I thought it was right

Engage in conversation but don't be overbearing, listen but don't be quiet. Know when to speak and when not to.

Could it have been possible to say the right thing to someone whom you have no ties with. Bring back a lie and make it a truth.

I've asked myself time and time again. Impossible for a 15 year old to run in and save a man from a full grown Dragon. But perhaps If i tried I could have a brother, maybe two...

No, Kaeya was never to last as my brother. The stupid idiot was too nice to ever keep his mouth shut, he cared about Diluc too much to keep lying to him, to himself.

And I cared too much about our family to tell them.

Now, As I stand in front of hundreds, commanding thousands. Perhaps then would they acknowledge me. Maybe not as Y/N Ragnvindr Or Y/N Albrich. But Y/N, Queen Regent of Khaenri'ah, The 6th Harbinger of the Tsaritsa. A Revolutionist. A Rebel to our world's order.

"Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall. And, a very small man can cast a very large shadow." I smiled at my father, jerking my head a little to the side in agreement to his statement.

"Or woman. Your son was never either small nor big enough to cast a shadow large enough to trick anyone. The poor boy has run from the truth of it his whole life. He believes himself a Mondstater." I scoffed, rolling my eyes at such foolishness.

To my surprise, father didn't seem to agree. Infact his chuckle of amusement seemed directed at me then the Calvary Captain in discussion.

"What's so funny?" I asked, placing down my coffee in a tea cup. I was never much of a tea lover like everyone in Mondstat growing up, and in Scheznaya everyone seemed to love their fire-water. I never understood it. Under the influence, no mortal is capable of keeping their mouths shut or wits intact. Doesn't quite make for being in control of yourself does it

"You say that about Kaeya, and yet I have a feeling you're quite infatuated with the place yourself..or should I say the people?" He smirked, and i glared at it.

"Don't be foolish, they mean nothing to me. Simple stepping stones to greatness—one that I will bring our great house of Albrich. Not Kaeya, me!"

I hunched over the chair, hands gripping the arm rests so hard my knuckles turned white. Eyes gleaming with righteousness, madness and excitement all at once.

To rule absolutely and fairly over a people. A great nation that rose itself up from nothing without assistance from Gods, and became strong enough to rival them.

Oh how it made my heart race and knees tingle. Down right arousal at the thought poured over my cheshire grin that extended from ear to ear

"Then If i asked you to bring me the Ragnvindr's head, or even your brother's if need be. God's forbid. Would you?" His head dipped towards me, awaiting my answer almost as eagerly as I seemed towards the thought of being Queen.

My grin dropped as quickly as the snap of a finger. But my resolve didn't. I pursed my lips and my eyes widened in unwavering confidence.

Finally, the question that had haunted my mind. Again and again like waves. Time and time again as I looked at either brother from a distance, watched them smile and chuckle with other people and never at each other. And yet, that hateful look was what i desired more then anything, anything over not being given so much as a distasteful glance.

A question that I inevitably knew would be thrown at my feet, finally brought to my attention. At long last, I can put the thought to rest.

"With pleasure."

[empiredesimparte]

Charlotte: Are you going to do something? Napoléon V: I think so. Perhaps my advisors and ministers have already worked on these questions of independence with my father Charlotte: The Mayor seemed to say that your father had opened a file on the subject

Napoléon V: Knowing him, he must have worked to keep the islands in our territories, for military reasons Charlotte: Are you really considering this referendum?

Napoléon V: Why not? It's better now than when I'm unpopular Charlotte: It has nothing to do with you, and... You won't be unpopular Louis, ever. The French have seen you born and bred, you're a member of their family. You dedicate your life to them

Napoléon V: I know, but it's important for me to be accountable to the French, to all the French Charlotte: Independentists aren't the majority, they're just noisy and preoccupied with political infighting

Charlotte: By working with Monsieur le Maire, Polynesia can regain its calm, without making waves Napoléon V: How could this individual think that his Emperor is corrupt? Charlotte: I'm sure it's a misunderstanding Louis, he didn't mean to imply…

Napoléon V: What else then? Offering "a gift of 5 billion euros" to his superior, for the negotiation of a delicate political dossier, in order to prepare its conclusions without open debate… Sounds like a substantial and immoral bribe Charlotte: You're mixing things up, darling. It's simply a thank-you, and what he's proposing is common sense. We all want the same thing Napoléon V: I refuse in spite of everything, I'll act as I decide, free to make my own choices

Charlotte: Louis, this is stupid! You're creating problems where there aren't any! The mayor is a representative of the people too, you can't ignore that! Napoléon V: Would you have accepted the atoll? Charlotte: Of course! We might as well work together, rather than against each

Napoléon V: If you want an atoll rather than a house on the island, we can get it on our own, by saving money, without the influence of the Mayor Charlotte: Louis, do you hear yourself? We could save billions of euros and everyone would win, otherwise I wouldn't support it either

Charlotte: At least take the time to think about it. The mayor is an old man, it's not as if he's going to blackmail you for the rest of your reign, and he won't anyway, if we make sure he stays on as head of the Polynesian assembly…

Napoléon V: And if this gets out, how will we look? Charlotte: We've got the best agents in the country. You'll see, I'm sure the Prime Minister would be on my side too

Napoléon V: I'm above this little world of selfish scheming! I embody the Constitution! Charlotte: Louis… Napoléon V: Don't pout like that!

Napoléon V: I'll consult the files and my advisors, and I'll decide without the mayor, it's non-negotiable

Charlotte (chagrined): I never said you should accept right away. I simply think that the Mayor's offer is more honest than you'd like to see, and I hope you'll understand that when you think about it

Napoléon V: Don't cry, darling, I'm sorry I got carried away. It's nothing against you Charlotte: I'm not crying. I've just been emotional lately Napoléon V: I promise I'll think about it calmly

Charlotte: That's fine with me. Let's not fight over "so little"

Charlotte: I was so quick to think that we could have a dream place to come back to Napoléon V: I understand, love, such an offer is exhilarating. I don't blame you

Napoléon V: Whatever happens, we'll have this atoll, okay? I'll tell the mayor to register us as interested buyers Charlotte: Thank you Louis

⚜ Le Cabinet Noir | Bora-Bora, 14 Messidor An 230

Beginning ▬ Previous ▬ Next

The imperial couple met the mayor and deputy of Bora-Bora, Gaston Temasong. Temasong offered to guarantee the Emperor his place as head of French Polynesia, in exchange for a private atoll not far from Bora-Bora. Napoléon V was offended by this attempt at bribery, but worried about this independence movement, led by a certain Oscar Sang.

(An atoll is a coral island with a large lagoon at its center. These islands are part of archipelagos and are highly prized by certain billionaires)

⚜ Traduction française

Charlotte: Vas-tu faire quelque chose? Napoléon V: Je pense, je dois y réfléchir. Peut-être mes conseillers et ministres ont ils déjà travaillé sur ces questions d'indépendance avec mon père Charlotte: Monsieur le Maire avait l'air de dire que ton père a ouvert un dossier sur le sujet oui

Napoléon V: Le connaissant, il devait travailler à garder les îles dans nos territoires, pour des raisons militaires Charlotte: Envisages-tu réellement ce référendum ?

Napoléon V: Pourquoi pas ? Il vaut mieux maintenant qu'une fois que je serai impopulaire Charlotte: Tu ne seras pas impopulaire Louis, jamais. Les Français t'ont vu naître et grandir, tu es quelqu'un de leur famille. Tu dédies ta vie pour eux. C'est cela la monarchie

Napoléon V: Je sais, mais c'est important pour moi de rendre compte aux Français, tous les Français Charlotte: Les indépendantistes ne sont pas la majorité, ils sont simplement bruyants et ne se préoccupent que de luttes politiques intestines

Charlotte : En travaillant avec Monsieur le Maire, la Polynésie pourra retrouver son calme, sans faire de vagues Napoléon V : Comment cet individu a-t-il pu penser de son Empereur qu'il est corrompu ? Charlotte : Je suis persuadée qu'il s'est mal fait comprendre Louis, il ne voulait pas insinuer...

Napoléon V : Quoi d'autre alors ? Offrir un cadeau de 5 milliards d'euros à son supérieur, pour la négociation d'un dossier politique délicat, afin d'en préparer les conclusions sans débats ouverts... Cela ressemble à un pot-de-vin conséquent et immoral Charlotte : Tu mélanges tout, chéri. Il s'agit simplement d'un remerciement, ce qu'il propose est de bon sens. Nous voulons tous la même chose Napoléon V : Je refuse malgré tout, j'agirai comme j'en déciderai, libre de mes choix

Charlotte : Louis c'est idiot ! Tu crées des problèmes où il n'y en a pas ! Monsieur le Maire est un représentant du peuple lui aussi, tu ne peux pas l'ignorer Napoléon V : Tu aurais accepté l'atoll toi ? Charlotte : Bien sûr ! Nous aurions de belles vacances ici. Dans tous les cas, la Polynésie reste en Francesim et le Maire aussi. Autant travailler ensemble, que l'un contre l'autre. Cela écarterait la question et nous éviterait des dépenses

Napoléon V : Si tu veux un atoll plutôt qu'une maison sur l'île, nous pourrons l'obtenir par nos moyens, en économisant, sans l'influence du Maire Charlotte : Louis, tu t'entends ? On pourrait justement économiser plusieurs milliards d'euros, tout le monde en sortirait gagnant, sinon je ne l'appuierais pas non plus

Charlotte : Prends au moins le temps d'y réfléchir. Le maire est une personne âgée, ce n'est pas comme s'il allait te faire chanter pendant tout ton règne, et il ne le fera pas de toute façon, si nous nous assurons qu'il reste à la tête de l'assemblée polynésienne

Napoléon V : Et si cela s'ébruite, de quoi aurons-nous l'air ? Charlotte : Il n'y a pas de raisons, nous avons les meilleurs agents du pays. Tu verras, je suis persuadée que le Premier Ministre serait lui aussi de mon côté

Napoléon V : Je suis au-dessus de ce petit monde de manigances égoïstes ! J'incarne la Constitution ! Charlotte : Louis... Napoléon V : Ne fais pas cette moue

Napoléon V : Je consulterai les dossiers et mes conseillers, et j'aviserai, c'est non-négociable

Charlotte (chagrinée) : Je n'ai jamais dit que tu devrais accepter tout de suite. Je trouve simplement que l'offre du Maire est plus honnête que tu ne veux le voir, j'espère que tu le comprendras en réfléchissant au dossier

Napoléon V : Ne pleure pas chérie, pardon, je me suis emporté. Ce n'est pas contre toi Charlotte : Je ne pleure pas. Je suis émotive ces derniers temps Napoléon V : Je te promets de réfléchir à tout cela calmement

Charlotte : Ca me va. Ne nous disputons pas "pour si peu"

Charlotte : Je me suis si vite figurée que nous pourrions avoir un endroit de rêve pour revenir ici Napoléon V : Je comprends mon amour, une telle offre est grisante. Je ne t'en veux pas

Napoléon V : Quoiqu'il arrive, nous aurons cet atoll, d'accord ? Je dirai au Maire de nous inscrire comme acheteurs intéressés Charlotte : Merci Louis, tu es le meilleur

[snail-speed-6]

Hamlet's Motivations (and lack thereof)

Hello Tumblr I want to share with you some of my Hamlet musings. This one's about why Hamlet acts the way he does. This is analysis not fanfiction! 

Hamlet wishes “be all my sins remembered”, because to him, as long as he is remembered that will be enough, regardless of how he is remembered. He develops a fear of being forgotten through watching everyone forget his father. 

As he dies, Hamlet’s last request is for Horatio to share his story. He freely gives a foreign ruler his blessing without conflict and seemingly no particular interest about preserving the Danish future of his country, but just asks that his personal story be told. 

This longing for remembrance shapes Hamlet’s actions throughout the play, and could be the reason as to why the ghost’s instruction “remember me” has such a profound effect on the character. In this ghost’s command Hamlet sees himself and his desire, and perhaps he thinks that if he can keep the ghost’s - and therefore Old Hamlet’s - memory alive, then perhaps there is a chance for him to be remembered too. 

As John Kerrigan put it in his article ‘Memory and Remembrance in Hamlet’, Hamlet is haunted by a past that is begging to be remembered, which drives him to a madness and provokes further speculation about the fate of his own memory. 

This fear could also play a role in Hamlet’s ‘procrastination’ of his revenge, as he knows that as soon as the deed is done, he will likely meet an unfortunate fate himself and no longer have a chance to influence and interact with the world he so dearly wishes to be remembered by. Influenced by how the people around him treat memory, Hamlet acts accordingly, vowing to remember his father as long as he can and to somewhat keep him alive by prolonging the ghost’s wishes. Once that is fulfilled, as Hamlet fears, “the rest is silence.”

Hamlet’s tendency of self-criticism could also be the factor that determines his actions in the play, because it is at moments of self-criticism in his soliloquies that Hamlet resolves to take action and effectively move the plot forward. 

In act 2 scene 2, Hamlet cries “O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!” calling himself a cheat and a coward for all he has not done, then goes on to craft a plan to catch Claudius with the play. And as he leaves for England, Hamlet sees the soldiers going to fight for land and feels useless, but then resolves that “from this time forth, let my thoughts be bloody or be nothing worth”. However, it can also be seen in the play that these moments of self-loathing and criticism come from Hamlet reflecting on the actions of others and comparing them to himself, which could mean that Hamlet is only basing his action and worth on others, and what he feel the expectation of his should be, not what he feels is right. 

Coupled with this, Hamlet believing that his thoughts must be “bloody or be nothing worth” could be Shakespeare exposing the way that men were expected to act ‘brave’ and ‘strong’ to be considered “worthy”, and uses Hamlet as an example of how constant influence, and expectation of rash action making the ‘better man’, can corrupt otherwise kind people into those who believe in nothing but violence. For someone like Hamlet, who is chiefly a person of thought and not action, adopting this ideology would have completely changed him. 

In fact, Laertes almost completely mirrors Hamlet in this way; after his father is killed, he goes straight to action, resorting to violence almost immediately, whereas Hamlet (despite his previous sentiment) still hesitates. 

Laertes’ thoughts are “bloody”, and it is this that allows Claudius to manipulate and corrupt him through his desire to take revenge. As a foil to Hamlet, Laertes shows how easily corruption could have taken hold had Hamlet succumbed to his self-criticisms borne from a heavily patriarchal world that couples strength with violence. 

Shakespeare, therefore, attacks the idea that a man must be willing to kill for honour and perhaps dissuades from the idea of taking revenge at all by the tragic fate almost all the characters end up in in Hamlet and Laertes' pursuit of revenge. This could also be Shakespeare praising a lifestyle of thought and not action, as most direct action taken in the play leads to some sort of tragedy.

If you made it to the end I'd love to hear some opposition!! What do y’all think?

[drawnaghht]

Yuichi Usagi - what's in a name?

I read "Senso" over the end of March and the last week and reviewed a bunch of interviews again and man i dunno how to post abt it but it seems that Yuichi Usagi is actually intentional as naming? And yes, Yuichi can be a last name also, but is still mainly read as a first name.

Like specifically it seems that it’s a reference to the ending of “Usagi Yojimbo: Senso” in a similar way to how the rest of the show is also intentionally an homage to that story as it’s main source of inspiration.

“Yuichi” commonly has the meaning "heroic first (son)" (雄一) and in the japanese subtitles, Yuichi is spelled as both 雄一 and ユウイチ - Yūichi. So let's take the japanese subtitling as additional canon as that’s how the character’s introduce themselves. (I'll link this Japanese-Names website as an online source for now since I'm not fluent in it myself.) The subtitles are based on the english dub of course, but it seems the japanese dub is similar on the name introductions for the most part (not a native speaker myself so I can only guess).

Spoilers for Senso if you haven't read it. I recommend you do, if really nothing else. It’s a really nice mashup of sci fi in Usagi Yojimbo, in a very “War of the Worlds” type clash. I really loved the foreword comic and the illustrations before the story. It's a really good story. Here’s a nice spoilerless review of it.

So from interviews we know that the Samurai Rabbit crew was inspired by and drew influences from six-issue book Usagi Yojimbo: Senso - you can see it in how the Makkine were designed and episode references (S2, ep 9 "Eggs!" - the falling martian ships are called eggs in “Senso”) and mainly the story outline of aliens invading edo-period japan.

So why give Yuichi Usagi a first name as a last name?

We see this backstory in "Willow Branch" in season 2.

The sword was lost. That is a storyline they included to make an interesting story out of it but to also connect the show and og comic in a different way. A "passing of the torch" in some sense, but also literally what the comic tells us about og Usagi and his swords. In Senso: "They are my soul. Pass them down to your firstborn… then to his [...] then down the line…” And in the show we see that Willow Branch is found and recovered by Yuichi and the sword accepts him as the next in line. The firstborn son.

So from this we can make the fan-theory that perhaps in the show canon, Miyamoto Usagi’s family maybe named their next firstborn in line Yuichi, to honor their forebear Miyamoto Usagi's last wish, again if we're going by the thought that this was inspired by "Senso". (Jotaro being his last surviving member in this verse possibly, we don't know here bc it's intentionally left vague to not spoil series-only viewers + keep the mystery open for anyone who decides to read the comic after the series for the first time). It could even be a possibility that they just kept that as a surname for sentimental reasons, because the family had women as first-born children for so long (if we assume based on Usagi's auntie and missing parents), but they wanted to keep that memory going for as long as possible, since the sword was lost shortly after Miyamoto saved Edo from Kagehito’s plan a 1000 years before Yuichi’s time. But that’s already just speculation from me as a fan of the cartoon.

And before die-hard comic readers swoop in, yes, in Senso the swords are not lost, but again, it’s an alternative universe story situation for the people making the show, and I find what they did was interesting.

The comic’s ending is tied into the world of “Space Usagi” as well, without spoiling it too much, which is a storyline Stan did in a space opera setting. The connection between being inspired by Senso which is tied to this story may also be why so many interviews and articles call Usagi Chronicles as inspired by Space Usagi directly, since both are spin-offs that take place in a distant future.

Or you know, it could also just be that they wanted an easy-sounding name for their main character to call that wasn't only Usagi, since they have two in the series: their own and the original.

But all in all, whether the name comes as a reference to the original comic, or from simple use of a common name, it can’t be ignored that this is just how the show calls it’s main character.

But you can still call him Yuichi, as that is what both the crew (his creators) and Stan Sakai call him when talking of both tbe Usagis. (Or, in the case of Stan, "my Usagi" and "Their/Samurai Rabbit/the show's Usagi") It could be that out of respect for the work the crew put into his series, Stan didn’t suggest more naming conventions for the character because he already liked the work and story the crew did. It could be that they put a pin in it at first and then got used to it as pre-production continued. Could even just be that he loled it right away. But I don’t find it that useful to speculate on that as much, because the cartoon we have is already made and finished how it is and well, we don’t know the exact authorial reasonings from the show crew side much, so Yuichi Usagi it is.

Though also, the way that his names are used in the show (Auntie mainly calls him Usagi and family usually adress via 1st name, Yuichi is never used mich beyond introductions) and how it's used in the interviews when talking about Miyamoto Usagi as well, it feels like they meant to give him two first names, and couldn’t decide on a surname-sounding last name so, Yuichi Usagi was left in the final script. But that's just my guess as a fan and viewer again.

Maybe other fans have had similar or better discussions about it? It would be interesting to know if the show has more japanese fans and how they find this, for example. What they think about how the show introduces him as Surname-Given Name, but then every other character switches to just calling him Usagi right away. In japan, people usually use last name+ honorifics when they have just met. But both Usagi's new friends and Usagi himself switch to first-name basis after their first day meeting each other and going through a few fights. Is it just because the show has a mostly western audience(my assumption), and we're meant to use his given name as an audience to be more familiar with him... or is it only because he's a rabbit and some of the characters (like Lord Kogane) don't really care more? Perhaps a 1000 years into the future, they've partially lost the use of some traditions?

In any case, it doesn’t feel like the show made that big of a faux pas naming Yuichi the way they did. Ould be that my guess is wrong and it wasn't as deliberate a reference to Senso. It seems a much higher possibility that they thought of that, thought it sounded nice and then kept it because it was an easy way to call him differently from comics-Usagi during production itself, but still getting to call him Usagi in the show-proper.

This is just me basing this on official interviews and the Senso book, but this just seems more likely than them picking a random name with no meaning to it. Of course, I could also be wrong, but based on interviews along, the showrunners and creative team seem so genuine in wanting to give the comic a good show that it doesn't make sense that they wouldn't research it. Or at the very least, ask about it from Stan himself or even just get a note from him about it, since he reviewed everything else. Candie and Doug (showrunners) even mention (in Comic Book Couple's Counceling podcast interview) how they really wanted to go deeper with research this time and art director Khang Le mentioned how they took a lot of cues from modern japan as well, from their research trips there.

I know this probably won't put any future discussions/rambling about this to rest among other fans, but well, just some thoughts on this. While I think it's probably kind of silly of me to be writing long essays abt a cartoon show I like, I do think it sort of warrants more discussion abt how we talk about characters and how we refer to them. For another show i'm a fan of for example, the character has an official name and a nickname, but the show itself consistently only used the nickname to let the reader be familiar with her. While characters like teachers and enemies might refer to them with their given name, even her full name, their family and friends mainly use the easier nickname. But it seemed that the reverse happened with that show's fandom, as the more unique given name became more used than the nickname the show itself gave us. And this was sorta the same thoughtprocess I had here with Usagi Chronicles.

Anyway, this has been a post x3 I meant to make this shorter and just about Senso, but I sorta started rambling more after the auntie and generations of female Usagi descendants theory x3

edit 5.05: fixed some grammar and sentence logic mistakes! added clarifications where ref was missing (CCBC podcast)

edit 13.06: I looked up the spellings for Yuichi as a last name and while it's similar, based on how it's written in the show, this supports my previous reading still. It still seems like it's meant more as a title almost, the same way naming would have been in old norse for example "Ivan's son" would become "Ivanson" or in english-language names, "Miller's son" would become "Millerson" (patronymic). So again, maybe Yuichi is meant as "first son" as the first name, but Usagi is his namesake because the family still wanted to honor their common ancestor, Miyamoto Usagi. That's the possible in-world reasoning, but with how much this crew put into the show, I wouldn't be surprised that they thought the same thing, that it's a nice way to reference the book Senso they were insired by, but also Miyamoto Usagi the character, who they were inspired by.

[high-voltage-rat]

Posting my RvB Project Freelancer playlist because I have brainrot about some of these songs and also crave public opinions on them.

This playlist was built with two things in mind- the badass space marine vibes, flashy fight scenes, and fast-paced action that embody the freelancer arc, for one. Some songs I included primarily because they contributed to this overall energy that Freelancer was based around. That feeling of flying through the battlefield, guns blazing, with no regard to the danger. The kind of confidence that lets you jump off a building without worrying too hard about how you'll survive the impact- that lets you face an entire base worth of enemies and still crack jokes as they surround you. The kind granted by a ranking system that tells you "you've been chosen. you're the better than the rest. you're on the leaderboard."

But the other motivation, in perhaps direct opposition to the first, was the set of underlying narrative themes that poisoned the Freelancers from within.

(Further discussion, Spotify link, tracklist, and choice lyrics under the cut:)

The ignorance, intentional and otherwise, to the purpose of their missions- to the Director's true motivations, to the ethical principles being violated with every step, to the thinly veiled lies. The need to prove oneself- to stay on that leaderboard no matter what the cost, to remain worthy of approval, of power, of support that could mean your very survival. The betrayal and infighting to remain on top, to right the wrongs done- the break between the agents who valued loyalty and those who valued morality. The manipulation by The Powers That Be to participate in and perpetrate the horrors of war, to stain one's hands with blood and commit horrible deeds which ultimately have no purpose- believing the lies of 'us versus them', throwing away your innocence and believing that it's all for the greater good, only to discover that the people you've done these horrible things to are no different, no more evil than yourself. Eventually breaking free from those influences, despite the potentially lethal consequences, and being left with the near-impossible task of trying to become 'good' again. All of these were themes I tried to keep in mind and channel in this playlist. Bonus points touched on were the impact of AI on their hosts' physical and mental health, the quest to gain justice, and the attempts to find peace and be better after it's all said and done.

I found that while my primary focus was on the Freelancers themselves, a fair number of the songs applied just as well, if not better, to the simulation troopers and even the soldiers of Chorus. I enjoy that this kind of highlights how the main message kind of echoes through all the RvB arcs. I also think it's a notable point that a lot of the songs that I used to portray the manipulation and abuse of the Freelancers by the men in charge have the real-world messages of highlighting wealth and social inequality and abuse of the working class by the rich. This isn't something necessarily explicit in the RvB canon- but the vast majority of military recruitment comes from their exploitation of the desperation of the working class. This real-world issue has echoes throughout the story- in the Reds and Blues, yes, but also in the Freelancers. They say multiple times, "The Director's given us everything"; they've been lifted up, granted a better life, but it all depends on remaining in line, staying in the good graces of those with power. They eat, sleep, breathe because of Freelancer- they live on the ship, spend their whole days submerged in it. One wrong step, and they're back to having nothing.

Anyway, without further ado, here's the playlist lmao

True Friends- Bring Me The Horizon

I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you // 'Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you // Don't you know, don't you know? // True friends stab you in the front

2. Go To War- NOTHING MORE

With every battle we lose a little more // Remember everything that we'd die for // You are everything that I'd die for

3. Only Us- Thrice

Finally when will it be enough // To find there's no them // There is only us // There's only us

4. Wicked Ones- Dorothy

This night ain't for the faint of heart // For the faint of heart, for the faint of heart // This night ain't for the faint of heart // 'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart

5. Saints of the Sinners- The Faim

When jokers smile and angels cry // We lose ourselves and lose our minds

6. All Eyes on You- Smash Into Pieces

Now the whole world's watching every move // Still your heart so much to prove // Fight for all the things that you believe in // Now the whole world's watching every move // Take your shot, don't act a fool // All you've got and all you'll ever need // Is one bullet in the chamber

7. Used To The Darkness- Des Rocs

Now would you pray before you twist the knife? // Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life? // I'm too damn young to give up on the light // I'm used to the darkness, I'm used to the darkness

8. Can't Go To Hell- Sin Shake Sin

It's no mystery, what can I say, we're blind by design // And history keeps getting paid to change it's mind // Some wounds will never mend // Divided by deception, but together we must rise // Deafened by the naive while we silence the wise

9. 12 Rounds- Bohnes

'Cause I fight for everything I die for // Everything I bled onto the ground sacrificed for // When the reaper comes knocking at my door // We'll be going 12 rounds

10. Hold Steady- The Glorious Sons

What ya think? // I do it for free? // Either you're lyin' // Or you must not think much of me // I gave you my soul // I gave you my bloody, ragged soul

11. Chosen Ones- Mountains vs. Machines

We are, we are the chosen // We are, we are the few // The end will never come // We are the chosen ones

12. I'm So Sorry- Imagine Dragons

So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go // You'll never be loved till you've made your own // You gotta face up, you gotta get yours // You never know the top till you get too low

13. Machines- All Good Things

Hands to the sky I swore I'd try // Searching for a better life // They would take us far from home // Far from all the things we know

14. The Kids Aren't Alright- Fall Out Boy

And with the black banners raised // As the crooked smiles fade // Former heroes who quit too late // Who just wanna fill up the trophy case again

15. Man or a Monster (feat. Zayde Wølf)- Sam Tinnesz

It's so hard to tell which side you're on // One day is hell, the next day is the dawn // The lines are blurred, you keep rubbing your eyes // The tables turn, now it's time to survive

16. Spaceman- The Killers

And you know I'm fine // But I hear those voices at night sometimes // They justify my claim

17. Down (feat. Trella)- Simon

All the secrets that I keep // Like a bomb inside of me // I've been waiting to be free // All the shades of who I am // Try to catch me if you can // I just slip right through your hands

18. Mars- Sleeping at Last

As life replayed, we heard a voice proclaim // "Lay your weapons down // They're calling off the war // On account of losing track // Of what we're fighting for"

19. What Are We Fighting For- The Federal Empire

The price of our freedom // Is blood in the water // We’re looking for hope what will it take // We keep on repeating // The fate of our fathers // Somehow there’s got to be a change

20. Follow My Feet- The Unlikely Candidates

There's a fork in the road in front of me // At the crossroads of identity // The Devil is standing to the left // He says "either way, they both lead to death" // And the high road's steady and steep // And the low road's easy and deep // Guess I'll follow, follow, follow my feet

21. Hysteria- Muse

Yeah, it's holding me, morphing me // And forcing me to strive // To be endlessly cold within // And dreaming I'm alive

22. Go Get Your Gun- The Dear Hunter

And to those who'll die, please try to understand // That for those who die, we tried the best we can // With our one foot in the grave // While the other one's kickin' its way right down to Hell

23. The Fear- The Score

I've battled hard with the face in the mirror // Every scar makes me dig down deeper // Push it 'til there's nothin' more // 'Cause I'm stronger than I was before

24. Lunatics and Slaves- Sin Shake Sin

Hate what they tell you to hate // Love when they say it's okay // Still, you have nothing to say anyway // And you don't even know you're a slave

25. Try Honesty- Billy Talent

Sew up my eyes, need no more // In our game, there is no score // Forgive me father, why should ya bother? // Try honesty, try honesty

26. Blood On Our Hands- KNGDAVD

So walk with me and you will see // That your enemy may be your remedy // 'Cause we all got blood on our hands // But we still got hope in our souls

27. Free- Mother Mother

A bloody war // Behind my eyes // I come out right on the other side

28. Back Against the Wall- Cage the Elephant

Blanket of silence makes me want to sink my teeth in deep // Burn all the evidence of fabricated disbelief // Pull back the curtains, took a look into your eyes // My tongue has now become a platform for your lies

29. Spirits- The Strumbellas

I spend a lot of nights on the run // And I think, oh, like I'm lost and can't be found // I'm just waiting for my day to come // And I think, oh, I don't wanna let you down

30. Blindness- Metric

I was a blind fool // Never complained // All the survivors // Singing in the rain // I was the one with // The world at my feet // Got us a battle // Leave it up to me

31. Champion- Barns Courtney

I've been on a long road // With the devil right beside me // Rising with the morning sun // It's a hunger that drives me

32. All These Things That I've Done- The Killers

Another head aches, another heart breaks // I'm so much older than I can take // And my affection, well, it comes and goes // I need direction to perfection, no, no, no, no

33. Imaginary Friends- Des Rocs

Do you wanna leave me here? // With you 'til the end, imaginary friends // Give in to the fire and the fear, the liar in your ear // And you'll never be lonely again

34. Dear Dictator- Saint Motel

And at the trial, there'll be no jury // And all the dead are going to play witness // Not too late to say you're sorry // It's too late to truly mean it

35. False Confidence- Noah Kahan

Why won't you take me seriously // Look at me all fucked up over someone I'll never meet // And I wonder why I tear myself down // To be built back up again

36. Villains, Pt. 1- Emma Blackery

I don't feel anything // Because I became possessed and obsessed // With the idea of revenge

37. Woke Up A Rebel- Reuben And The Dark

I am wild, I am lost // I am sick, I am damned // But I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand // So I tighten my fist // And sharpen my teeth // It's a promise I made // It's secret I keep

38. Revolution- John Butler Trio

So tell me family now what do you think // Watch it all go down the great big sink. // Watch how the scum it rises to the top. // Don't you wonder when it's all gonna stop? // Sometimes I wonder how we do sleep, // Serving the dodgy companies we keep. // All kicking and scrounging for the very first place // Dictionary definition of a rat race

39. Survivor Guilt- Rise Against

Carry on // Don't mind me // All I gave was everything // And yet you ask me for more // Fought your fight // Bought your lie // And in return I lost my life // What purpose does this serve?

40. Pressure- Muse

Get out of my face, out of my mind // I see your corruption // I'm not blind // I'll carry the burden and take the strain // And when I am done I will make you pay

Note for anyone who actually read this far or looked at the selections here: yes I know these selections and bands imply something very specific about me, and the idea of some of these more popular and overplayed songs being paired with my melodramatic write-up might be laughable. I feel the need to qualify by promising my taste is not just the basic "action movie trailer" vibes or early 2010s radio hits this playlist sort of lets on... but these are the songs that make me Feel The Vibes and part of the vibes is the inextricable fact that I watched the Freelancer Saga in 2011-2012 when I was an edgy teen listening to Linkin Park and Fall Out Boy on repeat daily. Just be glad I branched out more than I did 11 years ago for this one.

[portray-yourself]

death's dilemma.

> description: and you can't help but wonder, why me? why is it that you feel so drawn to the human with a smile that you'd trade the world for?

> word count: 2.3k

> THOMA x REAPER!GN!READER. death mentions, references some plot details from inazuma's archon quest, i think this falls under angst

— The Grim Reaper's job is simple.

Collect souls from dying humans. Shove them in your magical drawstring bag. Move on to the next client. A monotone routine for a lukewarm individual to follow. How could someone possibly mess this up?

For thousands of years, you followed the same old routine. The souls of humans and gods alike rested in your bag as you came and went, leaving no footprints but instead an unsettling feeling behind.

In this world, it's really one tragedy after the next, isn't it?

A beloved grandmother passes on in her sleep. A child gets fatally wounded by a geovishap. A farmer gets struck by lightning. But to you, these deaths are nothing more than business. Another body in a coffin, another soul for you to guide to the other side.

Perhaps viewing others as business is unhealthy, and maybe living a life of complete solitude is emotionally damaging (to human standards), but you don't mind - you would even go as far to say that you were content with your current predicament.

Key word: were.

Inazuma. The nation of eternity, a land policed under the watchful eye of the Electro Archon's body double. A nation striving for eternity, to stay in a stagnant state under the Sakoku Decree.

...How laughable.

Really, how absolutely hilarious. You were never one to meddle in affairs that didn't concern you, preferring to observe from afar, but this little decree? Oh, how it interested you. How long could the Electro Archon keep her walls up, you wondered. How long will it be until the decree is abolished?

Perhaps lingering around Liyue Harbor's outskirts was your first mistake. Maybe if your "client" hadn't decided to keel over and die at that exact moment, you would have never caught wind of this decree.

"Ugh... how annoying. The Sakoku Decree means that— WAAHH?!"

And bam, dead from falling from a high place. Another soul for your seemingly endless drawstring bag, huh... The words "Sakoku Decree" rang in your ears, an unfamiliar combination of words even to you. It sounded Inazuman, and although you wanted to know more, the Grim Reaper's job does not allow for idle chatter with the newly-departed.

It took you a mere three days to hear of it again, and... well, you can probably infer what happened next, no? That's right, you did nothing. Wandering around Inazuma when you have such pressing matters to attend to was unrealistic and foolish.

Yet on days where less people require their souls to be guided, you found yourself wandering around Inazuma. The merchant's paradise of Ritou was always lively, despite the standstill of a condition that Inazuma found itself in.

It was there that you met him. The human that set your "heart" ablaze.

You wished you could resent him in the way that you resented every other human, god, and thing that walked Teyvat, but something about him drew you in, like a fly to a venus flytrap. Perhaps it was the ongoing Sakoku Decree that convinced the always-moving Reaper to stay in Inazuma for a little, or perhaps that Fixer really has a way with words, but your presence seemed to linger around the decree-bound nation for just a little while longer.

Nowadays, the influence of the Sakoku Decree has considerably waned and the Inazumans can come and go as they please. Truly a miracle. That blond-haired traveller from afar really is the real deal.

Yet the memories of your time there still remain fresh in your mind. It's funny, it really is. Your career as a Reaper has lasted longer than Teyvat itself, yet this is what you remember most clearly? No, not even your first soul collected rings clearer than the Sakoku Decree.

That damned human is to blame for this, you're sure of it.

You used to be content— well, more like the closest thing to it, with your occupation. The Grim Reaper was programmed to reap souls from humans and gods alike, to guide the newly-departed to the other side. Nothing else.

So why is it that the typically silent Reaper feels so... peculiar? Your "heart" seems to turn into mush whenever that stupidly radiant human is around.

Even when he's not in the picture, he still finds his way into your mind. Whenever you pass by a dandelion, he comes to mind almost immediately.

"That human... he's from Mondstadt," you unconsciously mumble as a dandelion cluster catches your eye, yet you restrain yourself. "...No, I shouldn't. What the hell am I even thinking?"

The Grim Reaper has no time to daydream about some human boy, regardless of the reasons. Why fantasize about your future client? The nerve of that human, breaking down those walls that you put up ever-so-skillfully...! Reapers cannot feel in the way that humans and even gods do, but God did you feel irritated. Irritated at yourself.

Isn't it just so foolish? The Reaper has witnessed many relationships crash and burn for millennia. What makes the fleeting sentiments that you feel for this mortal boy so different from those tragic stories of star-crossed lovers, woven by poets and bards alike? What made those breathless, ardent oaths between long-gone lovers of Teyvat's past so different to the words unspoken between you and that human?

He's so frustrating, isn't he?

Thoma. The Kamisato clan's retainer. Ritou's fixer. The one who took your hand that day, noticed you in a sea of foreigners and merchants. Someone who broke through your walls and showed you the world.

You hate these feelings he makes you feel, all of them. Love, hatred, loneliness, jealousy, freedom... To think that the Reaper could feel a thing. The "you" from 80 millennia ago would be jumping for joy.

Funnily enough, it's you that holds on to every single word he throws at you.

You wonder if he truly means every single word he says. Every single "I really like your company." and "I'll be waiting at our usual spot!" drips with fondness for you, yet you can't help but wonder. Do humans love as fleetingly as they live?

What can you say to him? Will you always be waiting for him, just like those star-crossed lovers in the poems that humans read late at night? He, just like all humans, will be gone in the blink of an eye. What ever is the point of getting attached to him when he'll be gone forever one day?

It's only after he finds you in Chinju Forest that you find your answer to this question.

"[Name]?"

Covered in dark ink, you look away from him, glassy-eyed gaze meeting the moon instead of his emerald-hued eyes. You fear his expression reeks of disappointment, of mortal curiosity. It's a shame, isn't it? Since when did someone as omnipotent as the Grim Reaper begin to fear a human's gaze?

The Grim Reaper's true form is filth at its finest, the darkening hues of blue and purple intertwining to become an even darker shade. Where did you go wrong...?, you question the Higher Principles internally. Your human-like appearance is lost to the forest's grass, pieces of flaked-off skin surrounding you.

Something is very, very wrong, but even so, he chooses not to comment on it, approaching you without fear. God, did he even value his life? Willingly contaminating himself with a Reaper's filth was a surefire way to get himself seriously injured, yet—

...Humans truly are strange creatures, aren't they? Sometimes, they make a big deal over a minor injury, such as a scabbed ankle, but other times, they merely sit in silence with you as you fall apart.

For the first time in 50 or so millennia, the Grim Reaper feels an emotion that they can't control: agony. The agony rushing through your veins rivals that of those lost to the cataclysm, pain that would drive an average human or lower levelled god mad. But since you are a Reaper, you are told to grit your teeth and bear it. Give me your worst, you say to the pain. And it does, it truly does give it its all to make you suffer.

Yet this time it is much worse. Agony beyond belief, seeping into the grass and ruining the grass. Even when he sits next to you, bearing a worried expression, you cannot. Cannot reciprocate his gaze with a reassuring one, cannot bear to face the consequences of your own actions. Maybe if you had never heard of that stupid decree, maybe if you were never even born, you would feel happier.

This should be a cakewalk for you, who has suffered this punishment in solitude time and time again, but something about his presence sets you off like a ticking time bomb. Never has the Grim Reaper felt so apologetic towards a human. You wish the apologies could spill out easily, like they do for humans.

"I'm sorry for burdening you. I'm sorry for ruining you. I'm sorry that you choose to be around me."

Apologies left unsaid. You want to, yet nothing seems to come out as easily as pathetically human sobs do.

Sorry sorry sorry. What difference do they make when they are just words? Do they truly hold any meaning coming from you, a Reaper? Is this normal to feel? Is it really normal to feel such... loathing and guilt all at once? Why is it that he's so...

"Foolish...!" you exclaim out of nowhere, startling the boy next to you. The frustrations, passionate daydreams, and unfortunate love you feel for him spills out all at once, manifesting itself as anger. "God, you really are a fool! Really, chasing after someone that hurts you, why are you even..."

You want to scream at him, tell him that he's the stupidest fucking human that you've ever encountered for even trying to get close to a Reaper like you. Humans and reapers clearly don't mix, right? Why does he always find you, regardless of where you end up?

"You haven't hurt me."

A simple reassurance, but it breaks your doors down, the floodgates opening at last. The Reaper hasn't cried in 35 millennia, yet here you are, shedding tears for a human that will be gone within less than a century.

Your teardrops, ugly and red, burn the grass, but you can't bring yourself to care. You can feel his gaze burn into your current form and a bitter laugh escapes amidst the tears. "'m so pathetic... breaking down in front of a human like this..."

"Pathetic?" Thoma parrots, an undertone of disbelief in his words, as if you were the one lying here, as if you were merely talking nonsense. "...That's not true. I think you're quite strong, actually."

You shake your head at his words. "I shouldn't even be crying. You should be living your life elsewhere instead of having to suffer alongside me."

"What do you mean 'shouldn't be crying'? No one's perfect. We all have to cry sometimes, no?" he inquires, concern lacing his tone. His response elicits a pained shrug from you. You don't know. Should a reaper like you, taking souls of the departed, a harbinger of death, even be allowed to indulge in such priveleges?

"Besides, even if I were be 'living my life,' as you put it, I feel like I'd be unhappier than I am now."

"...What do you mean?" you question.

"Well..." He takes your hand, as if it weren't brimming with filth, as if he wasn't contaminating himself by being near you. "I guess what I really mean to say is that I'm more than willing to wait for you."

"Wait for me?" you echo in disbelief, feeling your 'punishment' begin to recede and enter its final stages. "But why? You have responsibilities and duties to fulfill. Don't you think wasting your time on me is worthless?"

"It's not wasted time if it's on you," he replies earnestly, catching your [eye color]-tinted gaze. "I genuinely want to be by your side, I want to be yours, but..."

The moon reflects off of him and he looks so damn pretty that it hurts. You want to take him in your arms so badly that your chest aches and your lips tremble. How strange is it that a human elicits such emotions from you?

Yet you never end up kissing him, nor do you end up saying "I wanna be yours" back. You wanted to, you yearn for an alternative timeline in which you could be his and his alone. A timeline where you are not pure filth and not a soul-stealer. One where you are equals, human and human.

But alas, you are bound to your role as a Reaper, forever and always. How ironic would it be for you, the personification of death itself, to die?

Wishing upon a star never works, a pastime reserved only for children with dreams, those who truly believed in the divine catering to their every whim. You've seen the ugliest of truths and the worst of humans. Why would you ever resort to such a thing?

...Sometimes, you ponder over your time in Inazuma. You stare at the moon as you shove a soul into your pouch at night and wonder what Thoma is doing. Is he hard at work? Of course he is. Maybe he's having fun. Maybe he's thinking of you too. You bitterly chuckle; as if he ever would.

(You still hope so. Secretly, buried under layers and layers of fortified walls that you have rebuilt, you hope for those days back, in which you two are strolling through Inazuma on an errand run, or playing hot-pot with the Kamisato girl. But those are all bygone memories by now, lost to time. A Reaper should never reminicise.)

…After all, this relationship of yours was never meant to work out. What fight can a Reaper and human's relationship put up against time?

> i am the ceo of shitty rushed endings i swear... i wanted to end this so badly but i didn't know how. so lo and behold, this happened!! i am now struck by the want to play thoma's hangout quest again...

[marnz]

also haS IT REALLY BEEN THAT LONG, wowzers, also this is me begging for a Crumb of augustine+mercymorn even though I know you said a lot of it got jossed

one direction fandom is ride or die i guess!!!!!

okay augustine + mercymorn, it was a fanfic i wrote chunks of a couple months after harrow came out and it was meant to cover 10,000 years and explore why/how the plot to kill God came about and go all the way to the end of harrow, sticking to canon and doing some world building. heavily influenced by the idea of the broken covenant in christianity and how blood is the answer, how john twists it, etc. i respect the john/mercy/augustine ship and fics in this fandom but i am mostly interested in these two best worsties scheming, and Nona did NOT help.

here's the first 500 words

edit: find the next 1k here

Later, Augustine would say he did not remember how Alfred died. He didn’t; he lived as if that moment had been erased. Now, he found Alfred’s empty corpse, staring with those cinereous grey eyes--the same ones now gazing coolly out of his own face. He ate Alfred’s soul with the same guzzling heat as a candle flame eating wax. Alfred’s soul rose in him like smoke. The dramatic irony of two who were one in the womb becoming one again was not lost on him.

What he focused on instead were the moments of before. They were dazzling in his memory, as hot and sharp and colorful as the world must have been pre-Resurrection. Before the bombs went off or the cascading blasts had hit and irradiated the world. Truthfully he did not spend much time thinking about bombs. No. He thought, instead, of the brief eternity between the initial explosion and when people had known to be afraid. When they had gazed upon death and only understood it to be a flower of fire in the sky.

He understood that moment intimately.

But when he tried to remember the moment of impact, the knife thrust into the breast, Alfred’s blood on his tongue, he saw nothing. There was less than nothing; there was a void.

When John saw him, he named Augustine the furnace he had become; he named Augustine Lyctor. This Alfred-less world he had to inhabit now held every promise of the uncanny. Nothing could be trusted, not even his own--Alfred’s?--eyes when they report that John’s face was unreadable. Augustine blinked, or perhaps time skipped, and then he saw John was weeping with his great, chthonic eyes, their dark liquid sheen reflecting Augustine back to himself. He was imprisoned terribly by the searing white ring around them.

“I’m so sorry,” John said gently. He was very gentle; Augustine had always thought so. Perhaps he could afford to be gentle because he could not die. John rested a hand on Augustine’s arm and Augustine was surprised to not register the touch. He did register the flick of his own fingers and the new, strange ache to hold a rapier.

“Undo it,” he heard himself demand. Was this Alfred, speaking from his lips? “Please. Please undo it, Lord.” They were all disciples here, but he would make himself a penitent anew. “I cannot live like this.”

John’s eyes flicked to the corkboard behind Augustine, littered with maps and reports on the numbers and movements of the insurgents who raged without purpose. 

“You must,” John said, still gentle, and the gentleness burned. “I cannot bring Alfred back. You have ingested his soul into your body.”

“I will spit it out.” His mind leapt to the theorems etched out in chalk in his study. He still had the notes Cassiopeia and Mercymorn had lent him. He would light candles and draw wards and offer up his heart’s blood, if only he could draw Alfred out of himself one painful inch at a time. 

John shook his bare head. He was humble among them, and did not wear a crown. 

“There must be a way to reverse the eightfold path--”

“Augustine. You cannot. Your soul has consumed Alfred. What made him Alfred no longer exists.”

[aliyahaldaus]

Breaking Out Of The Matrix

Oh no that dreaded click bait term: “The Matrix”

Have you ever watched that movie by the way? 

(HINT: The only correct answer is yes)

If not, let me teach you about it before someone else deludes you with a different idea.

The Matrix, the system, whatever you want to call it, was built after the industrial revolution. People were made to become workers, employees and being self sufficient simply wasn’t good enough for the rich and famous.

Yadda yadda yadda, fast forward 300 years, give or take, we were all put on the same path and now people believe the only way to succeed is going through the motions:

School -> Sixth Form/College -> University -> Work Until You Croak

That life appeals to some people, and for them, the system is perfect.

But for you reading, or a little note to myself,  this is how to break out.

First and foremost, mindset is everything.

I’ll ask you a few questions, answer them to yourself, write them down, but pay attention…

If money didn’t exist, what would you want to do with the rest of your life?

Do you believe that people make 10k-100k (at least) a month just from their laptops?

If your job wasn’t holding you in one place, would you still live where you are? Would you live around the world 3 months at a time perhaps?

So let’s go through them.

Number One: Finding Your Purpose

I don’t say this lightly, at all. But it’s not money that’s the route of all evil, it’s our relationship with it.

If you live to work, instead of working to live you are not going to be fulfilled unless that is your purpose. But for a lot of us, it’s not.

Let’s assume money doesn’t exist.

How many of us would prefer to wake up next to a beach, with our friends, family, loved one excited for the day ahead of us; instead of waking up at the crack of dawn, to get into a squashed train, to sit at a desk for roughly 8 hours, maybe gossip in between, go home and repeat the next day….

Come on. Be honest with yourself.

And I know, it almost sounds too good to be true, but people live that life, comfortably, it’s not promoted or advertised the way it needs to be because if too many people broke out of the system, where are the people at the top going to get their power from? God forbid their employees are off in Bali actually enjoying their life.

But money does exist, so what do we do?

We change our relationship with how we make money through freelancing, social influencing, owning a business, becoming a digital nomad.  

That takes me onto the next question

Number Two: Believing The ‘Unbelievable’

“I’m making 100k a year right now, I’m willing to give up my freedoms for that kind of money”

What would you say if I said, you don’t have to? At all.

Too good to be true, right?

A job that’s making you 100k, but simultaneously making you miserable, isn’t benefitting you, it’s only benefitting the company.

Wouldn’t you want to benefit yourself AND earn the same amount or more?

*Insert freelancing, business owners, social media, becoming digital nomad*

What these jobs do is allow you to work on your own terms, and whatever you earn, is in your hands.

100k a year? People are making a 100k a month.

Granted, that’s with a lot of experience, but at the beginning, earning 10k a month is almost the standard in that community.

Don’t believe me? Look up Mason Doerr, Luke Belmar, Addison Rae, Molly-Mae Hague…

Those are faces that we’re all probably aware of, but there are 100s of people, just like you and me, making 10’s of thousands a month, without being in the public eye, living a cool life and most importantly feeling happy and fulfilled.

So the last question:

Number Three: Young, Wild & Free

Young is a feeling, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. I’m 24 and I still feel 16, my mum is in her 50’s and is breaking boundaries like she’s in her 20’s!

What keeps us like this? Feeling fulfilled and being excited for life.

There are no limits on where you have to live, how much you have to earn, who you have to marry! Nothing has any limits, everything is in your hands.

You want to live in New York for 3 months? Go.

Bored of the US after that, the Middle East looks good, let’s try that for a year.

Why not?

The resources are endless, stick with me and I’ll continue to teach you how.

But for now? 

Have a think about what you want to do with your life, away from money. Make a vision board, journal, do something that is going to push you to getting closer to that goal.

I promise you, money is everywhere. The only thing you should be focused on is finding your happiness.

Like always, I’ll see you when I see you.

[kcarkwright]

ARKWRIGHT'S PREPTOBER LESSONS: Fitting PLOT B into the mix

“I’ll update on Friday!” she said, not knowing she was incubating a case of strep and it was about to kick her ass. But I’m here! I also dunno if the warmth on my body is cause of the laptop overheating or my fever but FUCK IT we ball

Time to figure out how to really torture your Major Character

I talk here about Plotline A, the main bones of the tale you’re trying to tell, and while it isn’t a requirement to read it to understand this post, it may shed some light on our lovely OC named ‘Major Character,” who we happily forced into multiple altercations with the world as they tried to escape Purgatory Florida.

Our PLOT A is a map, following the simple cause and effect theory; because of [this], [this] later happens. It’s the easiest way to throw down your three major plot points, your inciting incident, climax, and the creatures that get you to all that juicy drama. It’s the directional portion of your story, the straightforward and single-minded organizational theory of the tale as a whole. 

We’re muddying all that shit up today with PLOT B. 

PLOTLINE B - How the story gets heart

Y’all remember the “Left Brain VS Right Brain” bit from Bo Burnham’s WHAT (and if you don’t 1. Where the hell have you been??? And 2. Here’s a link)? One side, Left Brain, is the cool, calculated, organized and critical thinking side, while his louder and boisterous twin, Right Brain, basically is driven by his emotions, all the love and fear and greed and lust and other sinful guilty pleasures. 

That’s, very loosely, how I want you to look at PLOT A and PLOT B. PLOT A is the straight and single-minded, the administrative plotline. You can expect the actual story to be here, the main action and ‘because of [this], [this] must occur’. Barely influenced by anything other than its situation. PLOT B is our right brain, where you concentrate on the emotional parts of your story. It’s the Trauma Storage area!

A lot of people – an obscene amount, really – believe the meaning of a PLOT B is to give us a breather from the drama of PLOT A, the gasps in between the action. There’s also many that think PLOT A and PLOT B can’t interact at all. Both of these are quick ways to make a story that’s just…eh. Y’know. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that movie,” but you have absolutely nothing concrete to recall about the story – you just remember going to the theater to see it. I’m throwing in way too many allegories for this to continue to make sense, so let me just say: You want PLOT A to play directly into PLOT B. And you want the emotion of PLOT B to bleed into the choices made in PLOT A. 

Let’s revisit Major Character from my first Preptober lesson, the poor sap just trying to escape Florida because they’re so done with the hurricanes. That’s such a surface level issue that’s solved with evacuating, isn’t it? What if the issue ran deeper than that? Maybe it isn’t just the gators, or the hurricanes, or the oppressive heat. Perhaps they’re also running away from something just as aggravating as a natural disaster: their parents. 

Yep, we’re going with a negative family backstory. A classic, really. 

PLOT B will benefit, more often than not, from having backstory. PLOT A, while influenced only by its surrounding action, has to HAVE action, consistently, to move forward. PLOT B isn’t necessarily the same in that sense. It has to have heart, not strength. And while it’ll have an abundance of drama, it doesn’t need action. Drama is best when there’s backstory, a buildup of emotions and conflict. 

Kia Hatchback (may it rest in peace) was the last decent gift Major Character got from Father Character – and truly, is it even really that good? Thing was made in 2005. Major Character has a sibling younger than it. Father Character probably just picked the first thing he could find on CraigsBay; that’s usually how his thought process went. Father Character and Major Character aren’t really close; Father Character was just so absent, all the goddamn time, too worried about meetings or seminars or other stupid white collar bullshit. And yeah, he’d go to Major Character’s important events – but he was never really there, y’know? Man walked out to take a phone call right before Major Character’s name was called and missed them walking across the stage at graduation. The Kia Hatchback felt more like an apology gift than an ‘I'm so proud of you’ one when Father Character gave them the keys the next day.

Major Character was becoming very, very sick of how detached Father Character was from them, especially after the chastising phone call Father Character made to harass Major Character about their lack of preparedness that caused their floor-level apartment to flood.

Maybe moving was the chance to get away from how gross and wrong everything felt, and honestly? Might be the only way Major Character can keep Father Character in their life without getting so sick of the distance that they finally just drop the rope and never talk to him again. 

This is the Inciting Incident of our PLOT B. Where the hurricane was the inciting incident in our first plotline, this – the opportunity to change something that’s been bothering Major Character in their personal life for so long – is what’s going to start the climb for our second plot. The inciting incident in PLOT B will not occur at the same time as the reflective point in PLOT A. Usually, PLOT A will open up the opportunity for PLOT B to be introduced, and therefore everything will occur a half-step behind PLOT A. Like a shadow. Or a stalker. However you wanna look at it.

Anyways, we’re going to breeze over the drama from before, and jump straight to the Hatchback Waterboarding incident. Major Character pushed through the flood, waterlogging their engine and beginning to get caught up in the current the pulsating water from the drainage pipe was making. There’s a slight scuffle in trying to get out of the drowning vehicle, a door that refuses to open and a window that has to be broken and crawled through – but they’re out, maybe a cut on their arm but otherwise, no worse for wear. 

They’re only at the beginnings of their hike up closed roadways when Father Character calls, exasperated. Why, on their local neighborhood page he follows on BookFace, is there a video of a bunch of kids boogeyboarding pass a car that looks suspiciously like Kia Hatchback?

(i need to pause here for a moment and tell y’all i am basing this off of a real experience. not my hatchback, but someone’s old accord, and yes, other kids were boogeyboarding in the rushing waters the drainage pipe was making. me included. Florida is fucking unhinged, you guys). 

Typical. ‘Course. Not ooooh Major Character I saw the car are you okay? but I told you to leave BEFORE and now you’ve drowned the car older than your Little Sibling. Typical. Major Character, mosquito-bitten and wet and just gross feeling, says as much, receiving nothing more than a chastised retort that well OBVIOUSLY they’re okay. They answered, didn’t they?

This is going to be your Plot Point One of your PLOT B. I find (disclaimer: in my opinion) if you make Plot Point One something that reinforces Major Character’s opinion on the theme you’re going for here, it seems to add to the crescendo of the climax later on. You’ll see how as I make Major Character suffer some more. 

It’s right around here where a flashback, if you’re into that type of stuff, fits best. While it’s definitely not my forte, it’ll reflect the best right here. 

Nonetheless, your Major Character should be seething at the reinforcement. Father Character never fucking cared, it seemed. Not enough to be there, not enough to make sure they were okay. He never rushes to them like he does for Little Sibling. He wasn’t as absent for the younger one as he had been for Major Character. [cue any type of flashback but I ain’t doing it, they’re just gonna rant here] They mean, God. Jesus H Christ. Father Character was never this abrasive with Little Sibling! Little Sibling fell off the monkey bars once and got a 4 hour long hospital visit where Father Character made the doctors run dozens of tests; he didn’t even answer the phone when Major Character and Mother Character were in a car wreck. 

Of course, none of this they say out loud as Father Character begins to command them to hike it back home, instead electing to simply hang up and put the phone on airplane mode to make sure all other calls went directly to voicemail. There. They’d pretend service failed and just deal with the man later – after they got themselves out of this, and this godforsaken state. 

Plot Point One can reinforce in more than one way, and more often than not, should in a negative way, pushing Major Character further down the stupid path they’ve chosen for themselves. 

Flashforward to the washed away roadway, the Plot Point Two of our PLOT A. Whew, this is getting a tad confusing, isn’t it? This is where it begins to become daunting for authors; the plotlines begin to fade together, and I mean, really, isn’t the fight between Major Character and Father Character something that should be on the main plotline?

I want to emphasize that there is no “main” and “secondary” plotline. There isn’t a part of the tale that’s more important, there isn’t anything here that you should prioritize. 

Violas and violins both have different strings, yet need each other to complement the dynamics of the orchestra as a whole. And yes, they look absolutely alike to the point where sometimes I, a violinist of 17 years, still can’t tell them apart sometimes if I’m not looking at them side by side, or playing them. It’s totally normal and absolutely common to sometimes be unable to see a difference between the two plotlines. Don’t get discouraged! Your plotlines are ‘A’ and ‘B’ because they’re separate pieces that both deserve the same amount of respect in that regard. A lot of people also mistake ‘plotline B’ to mean, y’know, second place. Not as necessary to map out, should have less action, all that jazz. They’re wrong. 

While you should (see: have to) keep PLOT A in mind, don’t get too caught up in if one should be more important, or have less action, or what have you. They’re separate, influenced in the same way almost like twins, but definitely have differences. Remember, left and right brain – logical and emotional. Two sides of the same coin, both with their own story to tell – but both still on the same piece of copper. They’re going to sound and be different simply because they are. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I feel like I’m dragging this part on too far, so let’s continue. 

Okay, so, landslided road, gone off to pollute the Gulf of Mexico for however long cement stays cement. They have to begin trekking along a different way – and that means taking their phone off airplane mode. 

The phone just starts spasming with notifications, missed calls from Father and Mother Character, all of which seemed to have ended a mere thirty minutes ago with one final message from Father Character: ‘you know better than this, Major Character.’

Yeah yeah, whatever. 

Just then, though, a call pushes through from Little Sibling. 

Major Character and Little Sibling have a complicated relationship; while Major Character has never faulted Little Sibling for any of Father Character’s shortcomings but it was hard not to be jealous. They seemed to get everything Father Character wanted out of their relationship; not being late to the extracurriculars, worrying extensively about them. Yeah sure, Father Character started changing a little bit a few years before Major Character graduated, but like, the ship had sailed by then, you know? But hey, none of that was Little Sibling’s fault, which is why Major Character answered with ease. 

Little Sibling and Major Character have a nice conversation (through their headphones, of course, as Major Character has to begin navigating away from the missing road), Little Sibling worried as hell because Father Character seemed absolutely distressed. Yeah, okay. Sure. Like Father Character literally wasn’t admonishing them during their entire conversation. Little Sibling is spinning a different tale, one of a man freaking out after the line went dead that he reached out to neighbors, all of whom were apparently enlisted by him to watch for Major Character’s return home. Little Sibling was sweet, but had to be embellishing, right? That wasn’t the Father Character they knew. 

This is going to be your Plot Point Two, the moment Major Character gains some perspective. Even if they refuse to look it in the face. Plot Point Two is sort of like…a shift point. If you’re telling an emotional tale, you want there to be a moment where the Major Character’s outlook actually begins to change, in some way. Be different. 

That comes as Major Character cuts Little Sibling off, thanking them for…whatever they’re trying to convince them of, but that Father Character was doing nothing but trying to keep tabs on them, probably just to throw it in their face. Like he always seems to. 

So it was really, really weird to hear Father Character ask “is that Major?” somewhere in the background, followed by a much louder, “oh thank FUCK–”

Father Character demands Little Sibling’s phone, putting Major Character on the spot as he immediately begins interrogating them with questions like are you okay? and how far are you from home? And at first, he sounds worried. Reasonable. 

But the moment Major Character mentions not only being off the beaten path, but not planning on returning home, Father Character goes cold again, ridiculing Major Character's choices.

Oh, of  course, dear Father Character, we cannot forget how fallible dear Major Character is, lest they forget about it if you’re not there to remind them every goddamn waking hour of the day. Father Character retorts in that voice, that one that Major Character has hated their entire life; the diplomatic no-nonsense one as he says not to be foolish, and to return home. Once the storm passes fully, and he’s sure there won’t be any more bad weather, Father Character can bring the family back down from Arkansas and help them find somewhere else to go–

Wait. Arkansas? They…evacuated? Major Character couldn’t – they can’t afford shit like that in this economy – but they actually evacuated and they didn’t even offer for Major Character to…

Father Character hems and haws about how Major Character is a grown up, who he assumed didn’t want to be stuck with the family in a small two-queen-sized-bed hotel room. They always seem to hold the same sentiments whenever they visit. Well, yeah, Father Character! Of course they do! You give them about 15 minutes of a good time before you just never shut up about their choices a–and their direction of life and all of that. He’s just so unbearable all of the goddamn time, like Major Character is intruding on him and the perfect little family because lord knows he doesn’t fucking treat Little Sibling like that–

Father Character demands they not bring Little Sibling into this. They have nothing to do with their strained relationship–

Oh, no, Little Sibling doesn’t – Major Character can agree there. It’s Father Character. Always missing, always critical, can’t even make time to try and just be with Major Character but god forbid he stop nagging for fifteen minutes! And how dare he get angry at Major Character for trying to leave Florida when he left – without them! Didn’t even try to call and offer! Major Character knew he didn’t like them, knew he was wishing for them to just disappear from his life, but if he wanted it that bad, he could have just asked, not left them to the fucking wolves–

Father Character tries to get something else into the conversation, but Major Character is having none of it. They have to find a new way out of wherever they are, and – not like he cared or anything – but Major Character needed the phone for map purposes only, so leave them alone. 

And this time, after a furious hang-up, Major Character blocks Little Sibling’s number, Father Character’s – and Mother Character’s number for good measure. They’ll deal with the fallout from their blowup later; for now, they just wanted to get out of this shithole. 

As Major Character treks through the wetlands that are definitely more wet than usual, they’re able to utilize the little bit of stuff they learned from that Cub-Scouts equivalent – let’s call it the Racoon Rangers. That was such a fun summer – and honestly, it wasn’t the kids that made it fun. That was one of the few times Father Character made it his mission to simply be with Major Character, and was their leader. Weekends and Wednesdays were all dedicated to them and their Father Character, and yeah, okay, there were a dozen other kids – but it was the most hands-on Father Character got. 

He wasn’t a bad Father, all things considered. At least, he wasn’t in the beginning. He was just…absent. All the goddamn time. And it wasn’t like he was abusive, and Major Character never really wanted for anything, but like…all the Christmas presents in the world never would lessen the blow of your own Father Character avoiding you. 

There were many times, too many, where late at night, Major Character would dissociate into the memories of that summer as a Racoon Ranger, remember all the good times they had with Father Character and wonder, at what point, did Father Character decide they just weren’t worth the time of day anymore. 

With emotionally driven plotlines like these, never be afraid to pepper in nostalgia, as it rounds out the Major Character as a human and contributes to the telling of PLOT B. 

So now we flash forward again to Plot Point Three of PLOT A; the gators. The running away from them, the hiding in a tree. Waiting throughout the night caught in a mix of despair and desperation, unable to find a way out. Unable to sleep, both because of how fucking uncomfortable the tree bark was digging in their back and the fear of falling out the tree, they hop on their phone, getting another notification that the voicemail box was full about .5 seconds after turning on the screen. 

If Major Character could somehow print out the voicemails, voice and all, and burn 'em in a fire pit, they would. All messages, all at least two minutes long, all from Father Character. Blegh. Major Character didn’t even want to give him the dignity of listening to them, beginning to swipe them all into the trash without a wince. 

But as they were doing so, somehow, another voicemail pushed through. 

Jeez, it was, what, 3 am? Father Character was still awake? And still trying to call Major Character? Major Character was still pissed, way too pissed, to even think about talking to Father Character again – and quite frankly, didn’t want to hear him say ‘i told you so’ when Major Character eventually had to fess up about where they were. But maybe they’d give the voicemail a listen, just to prove themself right. 

And as Major Character begins listening to the voicemail, we enter PLOT B's Plot Point Three, where they have a change of heart, a revelation, as they hear Father Character on the other end of a prerecorded plea, absolutely sobbing. 

It’s an apology, it’s a beg. It’s an explanation, something Major Character has been waiting for for…years. The apologies for never really being there, the explanation that he was just slaving away as much as possible to give them the life he thought they deserved. The life he never got, as a kid. And by the time things got stable, by the time Father Character, a man with no extensive education was able to climb high enough to not need to put in so many hours to make that much money…Major Character was bristly. Sort of seemed like they just…didn’t want him there. So he tried to reel it back, tried to give them the kind of support he’d been giving them this entire time as maybe that’s what Major Character wanted. Maybe he was overstepping boundaries he helped cement in place. 

But Little Sibling came into the picture during then, and…god, he wanted to be different. Involved. To not miss that first Christmas cause holiday pay was just too good to give up, to be able to fret over every little call because now Father Character was calling the shots in the office and had the power to say “hold on, i gotta take this” whenever there was a call. And he would have done it in a heartbeat for Major Character, too, they just…never called. And he saw why now; it looked like favoritism, didn’t it?

But it was guilt. God, there was nothing but guilt. He wanted the world for Major Character, and was willing to dig himself into an early grave to provide that for them. Every whim, all the extracurriculars they’d pay hundreds for only for Major Character to quit halfway through, the private school, the concert – all of it. Father Character never got a thing like that, and he just…wanted everything to be different for Major Character. Little Sibling came at a convenient time, the transition period where Father Character could dedicate himself more physically rather than financially, and…well, he’s sorry. It sounds like a load of excuses but he never wanted any of this to affect Major Character like it was. He wanted the best for them, wanted to steer them in the right direction so they never had to suffer and grovel like he did at the hands of some shitty, greedy executive – but even that seemed like commandeering their life now, didn’t it? The shitty rapport probably made it so much worse, huh? 

But he wanted to try now. It was impossible to ask Major Character to just forget what all happened, he knew that; and he wasn’t wanting that. Major Character had a right to hold on to that anger and disappointment. It’d help them keep him in check. But he wanted to prove to Major Character that he loved them too, that they were the one who taught him how to love like this in the first place. They deserved it all too. So, go home. Or, at least, to a friend’s house, since theirs was flooded. They’d be back from Arkansas in a few days, and Major Character and he needed to sit down, discuss boundaries on how far he could go, and just…let him make it up to them. That’s all he wanted. 

Plot Point Three is where Major Character is as close as humanly possible to getting what they want, something so tantalizingly close that they have to go through the Climax of PLOT A to be able to reach. 

Just like last time, Plot Point Three gives birth to three beasts: The Disaster, The Crisis, and The Absolve. THE DISASTER is both the realization that Major Character has been pushing away every attempt Father Character has been making at connecting, and the seeming possibility that they will never get another chance like that, with all these goddamn gators. THE CRISIS comes in the form of those texts, too fearful to let their voice carry, the linking to their location and an explanation, an admittance, on how they fucked up this time and might not be able to fix it. It’s the separate message to Father Character: i never wanted any of that fancy shit. i just wanted you

THE ABSOLVE comes, in tandem, with the decision to chuck the phone to distract the gator below, to draw it away so they can start trying to get home. To make it home. 

The Climax of PLOT A has to happen before we can have the Climax of PLOT B; remember, they’re shadows. Echoes. The ripple effects of escaping the gators has to happen in order for the Coast Guard helicopter to find Major Character on the highway. The Climax occurs when Major Character is handed a headset in the Coast Guard helicopter, Father Character’s voice on the other side more emotional than they’ve ever heard him be, before. It’s the promise to meet them in Savannah, Georgia, and stay at the hospital with them overnight. The Falling Action is Father Character collapsing from the shadows of grief and guilt the moment he enters Major Character’s hospital room, promising things will be different. The streaming of the old cartoon they’d watch on the couch together before Father Character would leave to work, way back when. Asking a nurse for therapist connections in the mountains, as they’re all moving there. Job be damned. Father Character can find something similar in the mountains. Shouldn’t be too hard. 

It’s ending the story on a note of hope, with just enough left to the imagination to allow reader to dream up their own happy conclusions. 

Now, this is a very Mouse House-like ending. Did Father Character deserve forgiveness? Would he really change? Realistically, we know the chances are slim. But that’s the beauty of storytelling; we tip the odds in whatever way we want. And I mean any way: this could have easily been a tragedy. Major Character could have been found frying with the gators, and Father Character would have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It could have been bittersweet, with Major Character deciding Father Character deserved that chance with Little Sibling, but it was too late for their relationship to ever be repaired, dropping contact after they moved. All of those endings are realistic, and possible, and all good in their own right. It’s just up to you on which one you want it to be. 

I said we would be reflecting on how PLOT B is influenced – and directly influences in turn – your character arc; but this thing is nearing 4.5k words and the nyquil is kicking in. So next time, hopefully in 2-3 days but we’ll see, I will be using Major Character (should I nickname them Major? Cool nickname for a ‘they’ character) to show how a character’s arc and personality affect the storylines, and the following lessons will be dealing with how to find both. 

Laters, gators – especially Floridian ones

[evermorehqs]

CATCHING MY BREATH, STARING OUT AN OPEN WINDOW

Fred Jones is based on Fred from Scooby Doo. He is a 26 year old human, influencer, and uses he/him pronouns. He has no powers. Fred is portrayed by Nick Robinson and he is taken. 

CATCHING MY DEATH, AND I COULDN’T BE SURE 

Growing up Fred didn’t have a worry in the world besides if his hair looked good or not. His family had money, he was popular, and good-looking to boot. The only thing he ever really lacked was any sort of idea as to what he wanted to do with his life. That’s where the rest of the gang came in. Something about solving mysteries game them all a much-needed purpose, including Fred who through this found his one true love: traps. Between setting traps and making sure the Mystery Machine was fully equipped he was living the dream. He never had to worry about what he wanted to do after school, where he wanted to go, everything he wanted was right there in Coolsville. Even the girl, not that he’d ever tell Daphne that, being afraid she didn’t feel the same and that it would mess up the dynamic of the gang. As they started gaining popularity through solving mysteries Fred acted as the leader of the group, much to Velma’s distaste, sometimes leading them to butt heads. Even though he always had good intentions he didn’t necessarily have the best way of going about them but they all seemed to make it work. Between solving mysteries, having the best ride around, and the best co-pilots there was nothing more Fred could want. According to him life was going exactly to plan until he woke up in Evermore. Suddenly, his following online had shrunk to only the city, his family’s mansion was nowhere to be found, and neither was the Mystery Machine. Fred felt… lost. If his friends weren’t there he didn’t know what he’d do, not that he does anyway. They were the only thing that grounded him since waking up here. Without Coolsville it feels like his sense of purpose is gone. He’s always been so sure of himself until now. When he isn’t working on his social media page (though it’s following isn’t nearly what it was) one can find Fred getting the gang together to look for clues as to how they ended up here. It is his number one priority to get back home, he just isn’t sure who he is without everything Coolsville made him to be.

I HAD A FEELING SO PECULIAR 

❀ Stacey Aydin: Always been kind of a fangirl and he doesn’t hate it. Even though he isn’t actually interested in pursuing anything with her, he doesn’t mind the attention. Fred just doesn’t want to give her the wrong idea.  ❀ Peter Pan: They get along quite well. Peter is one of the few people that gets the craving for adventure Fred needs to survive. Perhaps that’s what he misses about Coolsville and solving mysteries is the adventure that went along with it. Peter is always up to do something wild and Fred is down for the ride.  ❀ Vitani Kagai: He’s tried his best to be personable, most people seem to find him charming. Besides Vitani. Fred knows he drives her crazy and not in a good way. He just has to push her buttons sometimes, especially since he’s friendly with her brothers. He’s everything she hates but he can’t help it that he’s this good-looking.

THAT THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE

[2099fan]

Marvel Age #117

This behind the scenes issue has, as far as I can tell, the first preview of the 2099 verse. How far the series has come. Released in August 1992, about a month before the first Spider-Man 2099 Issue.

Sharing this here to highlight this Creating A World passage:

The people behind MARVEL 2099 insisted on constructing a believable future Earth based to a great degree on the political and social trends and scientific develop- ments of the real world in which we live. Joey, Sarra and the writers created a "bible" for MARVEL 2099 that established the major aspects of this future world: not only its politics and technology, but also its economy. architecture, fashions, religions, sports, weaponry, and entertainment media. To a conderable extent, this bible evolved from the writers' original proposals for the four series. Joey noted, "Sarra Mossoff, Mark Gruenwald, and I held a writers' symposium at a local hotel. We invited all the writers whose proposals we accepted to the hotel, to pitch ideas around and get a consensus on what this future was going to be like. It was all hammered out in great detail."

By 2099, the United States has become a very different country. The government is effectively run by the major corporations and, reflecting areas of corporate influence, it has fragmented, with the United States in the east, and the Federation of American States (including parts of Mexico) in the south. California has become an island, perhaps due to a natural disaster. The use of the Spanish and Japanese languages has become much more prevalent. There are widespread border skirmishes, and each government has developed its own high-tech army of superhuman "corporate raiders."

One of the major corporations, Alchemax (for which the new Spider-Man works), basically owns New York and controls most of the East Coast. Money no longer exists in the form of cash; instead, people rely entirely on the use of "debit cards." Police forces do not work for the government, but are privately owned. Class divisions have grown far more pronounced.

Major advances have been made in genetic engineering, and are routinely applied to human beings. Automobiles run on superconductors, not gasoline, telephones have become super-miniaturized, computers and non-humanoid robots are everywhere, and everyone wears body armor for protection against omnipresent crime. The major entertainment medium is virtual reality, and comic books have become so expensive only the wealthy can afford them!

Readers will see what Europe and the rest of the 2099 international scene have become in DOOM 2099, and, Joey said, there are tentative plans for the 2099 books to explore the rest of Earth's solar system within their first year.

---

And can I just say how much I love retro futurism and old Sci-fi? Featuring such futuristic ideas like mini phones, computers everywhere, and debit cards. And of course the bad but still (worryingly) accurate things, like corporations effectively running the government, the police not working (or caring) about the public people, and class division being more prominent than ever.

I wish I could get ahold of that creators bible and read all the little details they had hashed out. I'd pour over it for hours and hours. Even just character reference sheets I'd love to have.

Also, an additional preview page mentions Rhapsody, an early editorial version of Rapture.

That's all to cover, since this (and the next few issues) are behind the scenes stuff, I've luckily got nowhere to put these in the timeline. Nothing to reorganize on my part, yay. I don't know how to end these yet.

Remaining unsorted E928 Issues: 75 (out of 76) (This will be a long process)

[tarnishedxknight]

Mantis shrugged a bit when Noah asked how she had gotten her powers related to influence and emotion manipulation. “I inherited them, I suppose. Possibly from my mother. I do not know. I never met her.” She offered a shy, uncertain smile, her thoughts drifting back to how she had never met another one of her kind before. At Noah’s question about how she would use her power to stop someone who wanted to cause destruction, Mantis chewed the inside of her cheek. “It depends. I would try to reason with them, make them realize they are wrong, but if it’s a race against time, then I would not think twice about using my powers on them.”

Him dismissing her approach regarding her own powers was something she expected, sadly. Many people were all too eager to speak of powers they knew nothing about. She could see why Noah would want that power for himself, but the truth was, the ability did not prevent you from getting hurt. Her powers had saved her life because they had made her useful in the eyes of Ego in a way his other children were not, but… he still saw her as unworthy of his love and respect, because she did not inherit his Celestial light. From Ego’s perspective, she failed him; she was a bad daughter. Her powers did not change that.

Her own reaction at Noah’s words was not as uncommon as one would think. She had a similar, even stronger reaction when the Guardians first told her that Ego’s actions had not been her fault. When Quill first told her she wasn’t evil for helping Ego. When Gamora first explained to her what the word ‘indoctrination’ meant. Receiving kindness had been something far too unknown to Mantis, and while she had learned what it felt like with the Guardians, it still made tears well in her eyes, the persisting aftermath of a childhood where safety had been a mere illusion.

Noah’s hand on her shoulder allowed her to feel Basch, just like Mantis touching Basch’s shoulder earlier had allowed her to feel Noah. Their bond as twins was so powerful, Mantis was actually distracted enough to calm herself. Her tears started to recede.

She listened, wiping at her cheeks, as Noah explained how she should be firm in her own worth. “I know,” she whispered. “But it is easier said than done.” Indeed, Mantis knew. She had known ever since she stumbled upon Ego’s caverns as a child. She had learned no one would help, save or protect her. She had learned life was cruel… and she had been forced to grow up without love, which made her not need it as much as the rest of the population did. Therefore when someone offered her kind words, Mantis had no idea what to do or how to react. But Noah was trying to help her and she was grateful for that. “Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. You are very kind.”

__________

Noah wondered which was worse, never knowing one’s mother at all, or having one who always saw you as lesser, was weak-willed and fragile-bodied, became a burden, and ultimately had to be mercy-killed. Perhaps never knowing his mother at all would have been better. “Not having parents is oft better than having inadequate ones,” he mused. “I wish I’d never known mine.”

When she admitted that she would not hesitate to use her power on someone if it was absolutely necessary, that made him feel a little less annoyed. “Good,” was all he said, though he wished she had existed in his own time. If he could only have convince her to use her powers on Vayne Solidor, so much could have been righted. So many lives could have been saved.

For someone who had, at first, seemed to be so emotionally closed off to him, Mantis now suddenly appeared to crumble at the first implication that she mattered to someone, and to the world. It was odd to Noah, inasmuch as he had never seen someone else react that way before. But it wasn’t something completely alien to him either. Hadn’t he reacted the same way the first time Drace had told him he was doing a good job? Or that he was strong? Or that he mattered to her? And not just the first time... every time. Hadn’t he been frozen with bewildered, disarming emotion every time his son Larsa thanked him for his mentoring, said he looked up to him, or said in any way that he wished to be like him? He knew Mantis’ reaction well, but he was used to being the one having it instead of the one making it happen.

“That is very true,” Noah agreed. He knew more than most how building one’s self worth from the ground up without any sort of outside encouragement was a grueling, exhausting, and daunting task. “But well worth the time and effort,” he said rather quietly. Had he not done so for himself, he would have died in Landis, or perhaps on the streets of Old Archades. 

When she thanked him, though, and called him kind, he shook his head and took his hand away. “No. I am not.” He was a Judge Magister. In the Imperial City of Archades, he was seen as an imposing authority figure. In Old Archades, he’d earned the strange whispered title of “High Judge,” the rumors and hearsay that community thrived on perceptively keying in on how he managed to keep the others of his rank in line. To Vayne, “a stray hound begging for scraps at the emperor’s table.” To Bergan and Ghis, a “foreigner and a half-blood.” In Nabradia, the “Empire’s Executioner.” And in Dalmasca... “The Butcher of Archadia.” Kind? No. Never. Gone though Ivalice and the Archadian Empire be, Noah was still as cold, calculating, raw, and savage as he’d always been. At least... in his own eyes. “I was never taught nor given kindness as a youth. I know nothing of how to give it to others.”