#people actually liked the thing my brain spat out!?!

[thirteenemeraldcats]

woahhh, note to self, don't post fic in the dead of night then immediately try and go to bed. the sleeping thing DOES NOT WORK!!

on the other hand, i got to wake up to so much DOPAMINE when i opened my phone this morning that i've been basically buzzing for hours

🥹

[dauntlessallure]

𖤐 ⸝⸝ ˚ ┊ INSULT TO INJURY — T. FUSHIGURO ⋆

〝 ⠀ ݁ 𝐁𝐎𝐗𝐄𝐑!𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ❜ ⠀݁ ⠀

【 SYNOPSIS 】— he’s mean. tough. toji fushiguro shouldn’t be so much to deal with until he is. you fix him up & he gives you a lil reward.

【 CONTENTS 】— boxer!toji , medic!reader , reader referred to as ‘ she ‘, fem-bodied reader, smut , slight angst / comfort , mentions of blood & injuries , mature language , jealousy , mutual stalking, hints at masturbation , consensual non-consent , unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it. ) MDNI + any other missing tags .ᐟ

【 PAIRING 】— toji fushiguro x reader

【 WORD COUNT 】— 2.2k

【 TAG LIST 】— @itsmonicabc @girlluvsblogging

⠀ ̽ ⠀ ᝰ✍︎ ﹐⠀/⠀ ❝ ⠀ 𝔄𝗗𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝔑𝗢𝗧𝗘 . . .

THE LONG AWAITED BOXER TOJI IS HERE. alrighty people , toji had won the poll vote for the first of the boxer!jjk men series. reblogs are very much appreciated <3. comment to be added to my tag list .ᐟ this work is not yet proof read.

boxer!toji was one of the first of many people that you had first taken care of as a medic. it was your first event working with the company , everyone you had run into was very very nice and seemed happy to have the extra support that your dainty little hands could provide. though at first , toji was refusing treatment. he called it “ a waste of time. “ which is translation for: im slightly embarrassed. toji was never the one to ask for help. in his own brain , he handles his own healing even if his nose was pouring blood like a leaking faucet. but you , you’d insisted that he’d stay. lucky you didn’t have to tell him twice. he couldn’t say no to you, a beautiful individual with a good head on your shoulders.

boxer!toji was endlessly throwing compliments at you the entire time as you tended to his bloody nose. “ do ya always look this pretty while fixing your patients up ? “ his word’s immediately went straight to your head. toji fushiguro was undoubtedly handsome, and huge in stature while you were just a tiny little thing. he smirked as you looked at him with a reddened face, toji knew what he was doing. “ awh cmon doll , you ain’t gotta be shy about it. “ at this point, he was just teasing you. “ just . . hold still “ was the only thing you managed to get out.

boxer!toji who gets jealous that others are in dire need of your care besides just him. someone who honed the same skill as you certainly wasn't uncommon but you ? you were the only one that toji allowed to actually touch him. you were just following up with another patient, geto suguru when toji walked in to see you wrapping up geto’s left hand. you didn’t even notice toji standing outside of the doorway until geto cleared his throat, causing you to look up from suguru’s limb. toji was already staring directly at you and now suguru. you’d be lying to say that his stare didn’t do things to you. “ oh toji .ᐟ i’ll be with you in just a mome— “ he didn’t give you time to finish “ i’ll come back later when you aren’t so busy with some lightweight. “ toji spat as he glared at geto before walking away. you quickly apologized to geto, finishing taping up his hand.

boxer!toji still remembers the first time he laid eyes on you. just staring at you from afar while you spoke to the chairman of the company, masamichi yaga. toji stared you and your body like a piece of meat. as shiu , toji’s manager was deep in conversation with him but the sorcerer killer had one thing on his mind. “ she’s too pretty to be working in a place like this “ he had spoken out loud. shiu’s eyes followed toji’s gaze which led him to you. perhaps even the contractor agreed in silence. you locked eyes with both men as you were stepping into your office for the evening, causing a small friendly smile to play on your lips while toji’s dark gaze seemed to burn a feeling into you that you just couldn’t shake off upon entering your new workspace.

boxer!toji who HATES losing. It makes him feel so small even though toji couldn’t be small even if he wanted to. especially with the most recent loss he had taken, It hit him hard. The media alone already hated him so this was only insult to injury for fushiguro. he just wasn’t able to understand it. if you thought he was embarrassed before, it just went up a couple notches. how did it all go so wrong ? not to mention, he had some nasty injuries to only add to his frustration. tonight’s scheduled fight went out of control in toji’s favor. toji was set to fight on ‘the strongest’ fighter , satoru gojo. the whole time you watched from backstage , just flinching everytime a punch was thrown or a kick was made. you could replay that brutal moment in your mind , that’s how explicit it was. a loud CRRAAACK was heard after satoru had thrusted his knee upwards into toji’s face. — ouch. you immediately knew something was wrong by the dazed expression displayed on toji’s face, his body falling limp.

boxer!toji was quickly rushed to your area as soon as possible by shiu, he was still in a hazed state of mind. mostly anger and confusion fizzled in his mind as you instructed him to sit. toji obeyed your orders & sat on the medical bench, now holding an ice pack to the giant laceration that skimmed the side of his head whilst staring blankly at the wall in-front of him in silence. shiu sighed at toji’s stillness before walking out of the medical area, leaving you to now look after toji. the medical room was just gasping for comfort , nothing but a thick and awkward tension lingered in the air. toji slowly turned his face towards you , almost emotionless. it was nerve wracking, you’d expect him to be yelling or just mouthing off but no. his pride was hurt to push you away , not this time.

boxer!toji who for once lets you tend to his needs without any trouble or bartering, he just couldn’t bring himself to say no to you again. even though he’s mentally punching himself for letting his guard down, but he really has no choice here. toji sure as hell wasn’t gonna go to an actual hospital to see what’s wrong with him. maybe it’s better for you anyways, you needed the hands on experience. “ just do what you have to do. . make it quick. “ he didn’t have to tell you twice. you stood up to change your gloves , he was now staring at you. his eyes raked down over your body before landing back onto your face , toji could feel your concern about him which made him feel guilty. . why ? who really knows ? the way toji’s mind works is complex. . he feels bad & guilty over things that he has zero control over.

boxer!toji blurts out “ i betcha think i’m weak , don’t you ? “ , it causes you to stop your movements and look at toji. “ what ? no toji , i don’t think you’re weak. . . “ trailing off on your words , your skilled hands proceed to fix up the gash on toji’s head. “ if anything , you’re everything but weak. not everyone can do this type of career , and not everyone can be toji fushiguro. if that was the case then there would be a million guys running in and out of that locker room . . you did good , but you can’t win them all. “ you words seemed to stick in toji’s mind for the rest of time you’ve spent fixing him up, the short exchange of words made the tension less apparent. soon enough you set toji on his way. “ please take it easy . . Be careful with your nose too , your lucky it wasn’t broken fushiguro. but i will need you to check in with me soon with that gash, keep it clean ! “

boxer!toji never did come back for his checkup during the next event. matter of fact , he didn’t even even show up for the next few events which caused you to worry. you go as far as waving down shiu and asking him what the hell was up. “ fushiguro says he is still recovering “ shiu reassured you that toji was fine. but you began to speculate that something else was going on, something deeper beyond your comprehension. but what could you do about it ? nothing. after all , you were just a medic. you’d nod at shiu before stepping away back into your office, groaning while you slowly shut the door behind you. . perhaps you were beginning to miss that hunk of a man a little too much.

boxer!toji who’s stalking your social media a little too hard during his ‘ recovery ‘. endless hours of his dark colored orbs staring at the screen of his phone , just scrolling away on your instagram. these pictures didn’t do you enough justice he thought , you were even better looking up close. little did toji know that you were doing the same thing. . you didn’t understand why people hated him. better yet , why on earth he didn’t have a significant other ? all the gym photos of him shirtless with a sheen of sweat covering over his torso and chest , it made your heart thump. the pool of arousal quickly making itself known in the pit of your stomach. . was this wrong ? you kept staring at the picture while your hand began to snake it’s way below the waistband of your shorts but you stopped once you realized you had accidentally liked the photo ! were trying to get a better grip of the phone in your shaky hands , your chest tightened with anxiety as you quickly unliked the photo. phew ! there’s no way he could see that you didn’t just like a photo of his from six months ago !

boxer!toji who did in fact see that you did in fact like a picture of him from six months ago. a low chuckle leaving his lips seeing the notification pop up on the upper half of the screen only for him to grin as he refreshed his notifications. — no notification. it disappeared. toji was cocky enough when it came to the effect he had on people in any manner. after seeing you doing the same mutual stalking that he was doing only 30 minutes ago caused all those feelings to rush to his raging length , restricting itself by the fabric of his sweatpants. toji was more than ready for his check up.

boxer!toji slowly sneaks into your office during the next event. it was quite early in the evening, not even all the fighters had arrived yet. but toji had something he needed to prioritize before making a complete comeback from his injury. you. while nobody is looking, not even you noticed him snaking his way through the door, quietly closing the door with a soft click.

while bent over , tidying up your area — a pair of large hands grip at your hips. causing a gasp to flee from your lungs. “ shhhh. it’s just me princess. “ you knew that voice , causing a shiver trickle it’s way down your spine. it was toji. slowly bending upwards, his lands kept a firm hold on your lower half. a quiet chuckle coming from the man behind you. “ toji , what are you doi– “ he didn’t even let you finish your sentence before one of his rough hands made its way up to your throat, giving it a light squeeze. quickly hushing you, toji presses his body against your backside while leaning down to your ear. “ someone’s been stalkin’ me late at night , hm ? “ fuck, he knew. “ we both know what you’re doing up at those hours of the night , don’t we ? “ as if he wasn’t doing the same exact thing , humiliation began to leech itself into your brain. how embarrassing ! the other thing you muttered out was a strangled “ m’ sorry ! i-it was wrong of me ! “ evidently your ‘sorry’ and honesty wasn’t much to toji, as now you found yourself bent over the medical bench with your leggings now carelessly tossed across your office, your arousal-soaked panties dragged down to your ankles, and your moans and whines being suppressed by one of toji’s hands covering your kiss bitten lips while he’s plunging in and out of your sopping cunt at an inhumane pace. “ you’re gonna take my cock as a thank you for fixin’ me up — fuuuuuck. “ the lewd squelching coming from between your legs bounced off of the walls as you moaned loudly into his palm, his thick length filling you beyond oblivion. even you were surprised by how he fit inside despite being fucked onto only two of his fingers before hand. “ mmmph ~ “ was the only thing you could manage to sputter out , toji was pounding you so hard. he was fucking you stupid. no coherent words , thoughts, dared to corrode your mind other than pure selfish pleasure that toji was bestowing onto you. “ pussy so fuckin’ tight , she’s pullin’ me in. “ he’d groan , looking down at where your bodies met. soaking in the image of your cunt gripping his cock like a vice. the cute noises escaping from your covered mouth seemed to be having an effect on toji as well. you could feel his grip only tighten and his thrusts become sloppier by the second while the coil in your stomach instantly snapped. you were cumming so hard , harder than any other pathetic ex partner of yours could ever manage. a string of noises left your body as your gummy walls convulsed & pulsated around toji’s throbbing length. “ hah — fuck ! makin’ a mess of you. “ was the last thing toji uttered out before his cock spasmed. toji grunted as his hand left your hip and landed hastily against the flesh of your ass. his seed painted your walls white. the warmth of his load earned a whimper, you could feel it seeping out of your aching heat. toji slowly retracted his hand from your mouth before slowly pulling out , watching your face contort into one of pleasure while his load dribbled down your inner thighs. “ i think i’ll need a check up more often, whaddya say ? “

ׂ⠀〝⠀⠀.. ⠀ ©dauntlessallure 24’ — please do not steal , publish , or post my work elsewhere or credit as your own .ᐟ

[drewstarkeyslut]

Dark!rafe and dark!reader who show up to the boneyard with different people and after a verbal fight the two end up hooking up in his truck. Maybe they leave together 👀

RIDE OR DIE ᡣ𐭩

Warnings: smut (p in v), choking, slapping, creampie, kidnapping, rafe forcing jj/sofia to watch as he fucks reader (idk what else, sorry if i missed anything)

A/N: sorry it took me forever to finish babe, my motivation has been down the drain lately. i truly dont know if i like this, it’s mehh.. but i hope you enjoy it🥹🥲 also wanted to thank @drudyslut for helping me alot with it by coming up with some ideas, your brain works wonders! ilysm bestie💕

You and Rafe were together but not together, it was complicated. You loved to get under each others skin. It was like a competition, every fucking time. Rafe was a jealous guy, and you were a jealous girl, that was obvious. Shit got crazy from time to time, it was inevitable. You two were toxic together.

Tonight there was a party at the boneyard and you decided the best way to mess with Rafe’s head was to show up with none other than JJ Maybank. You and Rafe had gotten into it the night before, nothing new but you were out for blood. You knew his hatred for the pogue, so you definitely knew what you were getting yourself into. That was the plan and you went with it.

What you didn’t know was that Rafe was two steps ahead.

You and JJ arrived at the boneyard, his arm draped around your neck. His hand basically grazing over your breast. You two walked in smiling and laughing. That’s when you locked eyes with Rafe, he was seething and you knew it. You were living for it.

The first thing you noticed when you looked over at Rafe was the girl who threw herself all over him, peppering his neck with kisses. It was Sofia, the girl before you, the one bitch you despised.

“Hey JJ, you go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in a bit!” You give him a smile and a kiss on the cheek. You knew Rafe was watching and it killed him to witness that even when he just had the bitch all over his neck just a few seconds ago. No one touches his girl, and if they do, they might as well be dead.

“Alright Princess, be safe.” JJ nods at you then proceeds to catch up with the rest of the pogues.

“Hey fuck face!” You shout, storming towards Rafe.

“Who me?” Sofis questions, obvlious to the situation and making it obvious she was annoyed with your presence.

“Not you, you nasty little whore. Him.” You point in Rafes direction. He’s already eyeing you, theres no telling what he’s thinking about with that blank look on his face.

“What do you want y/n? Shouldn’t you be with your little pogue boy toy, Maybank?” Rafe spat, his arms pushing Sofia closer into him. He did it to piss you off, and it was working.

“Actually, yes. Just wanted to stop by and say fuck you, have fun with this dumb cunt! Just know you’ll be thinking about me when you’re inside of her. Have a good fucking night.” You hiss, looking at him then to Sofia. You turn around making sure your hair whipped the bitch in her face.

“Oh I will, sweetheart.” Rafe jabbed. A devilish grin adorning his face as he took a sip from his cup.

“What the fuck was that all about?” Sofia questions Rafe. His eyes are still locked on you as you make your way back to JJ. He watches as JJ wraps his arm around you pulling you closer to him. He says something to you that makes you laugh then plants kisses on your forehead.

“Nothing Sofia, just…fucking drop it.” Rafe’s mind was spiraling, all he could think about was you and that fucking pogue and he didn’t like it one bit.

A couple hours passed since you arrived at the boneyard, you were currently grinding on JJ, genuinely having fun. You were feeling a bit tipsy, not quite drunk yet but definitely not sober. You honestly were just having a good time. You didn’t want to think about Rafe right now, thinking about him with Sofia would just push your fucking buttons.

“Hey JJ, would you please get me another drink?” You ask him with pleading eyes.

“Of course princess. I got ya, I’ll be right back!” JJ gushed.

You were dancing with Sarah and Kie while waiting for JJ to come back with your drink. Ten minutes go by but it felt like hours, JJ never came back. You start to worry as your eyes scan the boneyard. You get a glimpse of where the drinks are set up, but still no sign of JJ. You decide not to worry.. just yet, thinking he probably bumped into John B or Pope and got carried away.

After another hour of dancing and talking with Sarah and Kie you wander off to look for JJ. He certainly wasn’t with John B, because he came looking for Sarah. Pope was with Cleo. So where the fuck did JJ go? Did he find some other girl to take to the Chateau? And if so, why didn’t he just tell you? It’s not like you two were an item.

You were so lost in your thoughts when all of a sudden a hand covered your mouth and an arm wrapped around your torso pulling you into someones chest.

“Shh. Baby girl. Don’t make a sound.” Rafe whispers in your ear. His dick was slightly hard, you could feel his bulge poking into your ass.

He leads you to his truck, throws you inside, and walks to the drivers side, hopping in.

“What the fuck Rafe?!” You yell.

“Shut up y/n! How ‘bout you be quiet f’me..yeah?” Rafe mutters. He starts the truck and starts speeding off.

“Where the hell are you taking me? I don’t want to go anywhere with you, where is Sofia? Got bored of her already huh?” You start going off, still pissed about him bringing Sofia to the boneyard.

“I said shut the fuck up! It’s not that hard to listen is it?” Rafe hits the steering wheel, noticably agitated, he turns up the music to drown you out.

“Well god damn. Alright. Someone is fucking pissy.” You mumble under your breath and roll your eyes. You were used to shit like this when it came to Rafe, nothing surprised you anymore. You stare out the window as you listen to “RUNRUNRUN” by Dutch Melrose blasting on the radio.

Rafe finally pulls up to Tannyhill, you look at the beautiful home you knew all too well. You knew what Rafe wanted from you, why else would he have brought you here? Shit, you wanted it too. You couldn’t deny it even if you wanted to.

You hop out of the truck without Rafe having to force you out of it. Rafe stalks towards you, he opens the door to Tannyhill and you both step inside. You push Rafe against the wall as you look up at him with hungry eyes, his eyes dart down to your tits, licking his lips. Rafe grips your throat, turning his body so that now your body slams against the wall. He always wanted to be in control, especially tonight.

“You know Rafe, if you wanted to fuck me, you could have just called me.” You bite your lip looking up into his eyes.

He wastes no time going in for a kiss, you don’t hesitate, not even for a second as you kiss him back. He releases the tight grip from your throat, putting his arms out low enough so he could pick you up.

“Jump” Rafe orders. You do as he says, wrapping your legs around him as he holds you up against the wall.

He shoves his tongue in your mouth and you moan into his mouth, your tongues clashing. You two were completely absorbed in making out as he carries you up the stairs into his room and throws you on the bed, climbing on top of you.

“Shit, you got me hard as fuck. I can’t wait to fuck this tight pretty little pussy but first....” Rafe reaches over and turns on the lamp, letting the light brighten the room just a bit.

You see something from the corner of your eye as you look over and see JJ and Sofia tied to chairs. They were gagged with tape over their mouths so they couldnt make a sound. They were crying and fighting their restraints. Rafe made sure they wouldn’t be able to get out of them.

“What’s going on Rafe, why are JJ and Sofia here, like that?” You question him, you weren’t even shocked to see them restrained as if it happened before.

“Oh hmm, I don’t know — maybe because JJ here didn’t seem to know that you’re my girl y/n, and no one fucks with my girl. No one touches what belongs to me.” Rafe stated confidently, looking JJ straight in his eyes. “So, he and miss Sofia here will be watching me claim what’s mine. They will know who owns you.” Rafe smirked, palming himself through his shorts.

There was something so sinister in the way Rafe thought and did things that surpisingly didn’t bother you and did quite the opposite. It turned you on.

“All yours, and only yours Rafe! Let this cunt know that this pussy is the only pussy you’ll be fucking that cock into, the only pussy that cries for you.” You grinned, pulling him closer by the loops on his shorts.

“Fuck, you really know how to get me goin’ such a good slut f’me. I need to feel you, need to be inside of you, now.” Rafe growls. He pulls his shirt off, unbuttoning his pants and taking those off too.

“Wow no boxers huh?” You giggled. You start drooling at the sight of his hard cock, precum dripping from his tip and onto you. Just the sight of his cock had your pussy sopping wet.

“I bet you’re not wearing any panties, damn slut. How about we check?” Rafe laughs, lifting up your dress to reveal your pussy glistening on full display.

You pull your dress over your head and undo your bra throwing it on the floor. You wanted him, you were impatient.

“Fuck me Rafe. Right now. Want to feel every inch of your cock, need you to fill me up full of your cum.” You moan. Rafe pins your arms above your head, visicously gripping your wrists.

He smashes his lips against yours as he enters his length into your wet cunt. You gasp, your moans muffled from Rafe’s tongue down your throat. His cock slowly thrusting in and out of your pussy. His cock drowning in your wet pussy.

He pulls away from the kiss, one hand giving a slap to your cheek.

“You like that huh? You filthy slut. Fuck. You feel so damn good.” Rafe gives the other side of your cheek a slap.

“Fuckkkk, y-yyes! ch-choke me Rafe. I need to feel your big hands wrapped around my throat.” You beg,

“Whatever my little cumslut wants, she gets. But.. can you handle it baby girl?” Rafe asks but wastes no time as both hands release the grip from your wrists making their way down to your throat. The grip was deathly, your airways were absolutely constricted, face turning a light shade of pink.

“Oh fuck, yes. Oh my god, faster please daddy. Feels so fucking good! I want to cum” You scream, your words coming out strained due to your struggle for air.

Rafe picks up the pace, his cock ramming into your cunt, his thrusts sloppy and brutal. Your juices making a mess on his large veiny cock.

“This pussy is mine. You’re all mine. You belong to me. You got that y/n?” Rafe rasped. You just nod your head, too focused on how his cock was making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You couldn’t lie, he was the best fuck you ever had and ever will have. You were addicted just as much as he was.

“Yes sir. All yours. Every inch of me belongs to you.” You moan out as he releases his grip from your throat.

“That’s my fuckin’ good girl.” Rafe praises.

“Fuck! Ahh, Rafe I’m gonna cum!” You let go and squirt all over his cock.

“Shiiiit, I’m gonna fill this pretty little cunt up. You want it? You little slut. Fuck come on, tell JJ and Sofia just how much you need my cum baby girl.” Rafe taunts. You almost forgot that JJ and Sofia were in the room, tied up, and trying to keep their eyes shut so they didn’t have to witness this.

“Rafe p-please I need it! Need your cum to fill me up and drip right fucking out of my pussy!” You whine. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him more towards you. His cock pushes deeper into you making you tremble and scream.

“God damn baby girl, keep grippin’ this fuckin’ dick just like that. Ah fuuuck, you’re doing so well f’me. Fuckin’ take it like a filthy whore. Oh shit baby girl, here it comes!” Rafe groans loudly, a string of curses falling from his lips and thick white ropes of cum shooting deep inside you.

He looks over to JJ and Sofia, “Bet you thought you’d be the one in this sweet pussy tonight, yeah?” Rafe laughs. JJ mutters something under his breath as he still struggles to find a way out.

Rafe goes back to paying him no attention. He pulls out, his warm seed spilling out of your pussy and dripping onto the bedsheets.

“Wish it was you filled with his cum instead, hmm? Too damn bad it will never be you, bitch.” You stare into Sofia’s eyes, you hated that bitch and wanted her to know that he was not hers to fuck around with. Rafe was yours. Always will be.

[beforeimdeceased]

IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART OF CRYBABY

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT7

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: make it go away…

warnings: cunnilingus + fingering (r!recieving)

a/n: oh wow. oh wow. this was actually quite fun to write and i wanted to cry half way through because ironically enough my ex is being mean to me lmao 😭 i’m trying to cut contact and she’s just teasing me like “oh is she really leaving this time? really??” i’ve had ENOUGH

And I'm already actin' like a dick, know what I mean? So you might as well stick it in

masterlist.

the party is nothing like their usual after parties, but to be fair, you hadn’t been to one of these in months. crowds of people in their best clothes grinding against each other. dina onstage djing while jesse dances behind her. whispering sweet things in her ear. you spot a clear target in the crowd and walk down the stairs towards her.

flashing hues of red, blue, green, and purple cloud your vision as you struggle to approach abby. she decided to show her fucking face again, remembering she was your ride back home. once you push through everyone, you tap her broad shoulder and pull her to the side.

“where you been?” you lean against her, clearly gone. not in an intoxicated way, but a mental way. she could see it in your face. in your eyes. in the sunken areas underneath. in the way you were leaning like you were in pain. you fix your posture, putting more walls up. you could tell she was seeing through you.

“are you okay?” she furrows her brows, holding her hand out to touch your cheek. you dodge it. “why the fuck wouldn’t i be?” you spat. she places the tips of her index and thumb finger on the bridge of her nose, scrunching her face, and sighs. “i should’ve never said that to you. i was still mad at ellie and i took it out on you. i’m sorry—“

“oh fuck it. who cares? everybody keeps treating me like a punching bag and you know what? punching bags don’t have feelings. i don’t want to feel anymore i just—“

she’s looking at you horrified now. watching ellie take full effect over you. all her cruelty submerging itself into your brain. slowly acting as a parasite on the you she used to know. pieces of that girl were being lost. she was watching it happen in real time.

“i—fuck i need to get you out of here.”

“but i just got here abs. and we haven’t seen ellie—“

as if it was on cue, ellie appears from a gap in the crowd. her eyes meet yours, and she rushes over to you as she watches abby wrap her arms around you and try to lead you out.

“wait. let me talk to her.” ellie grabs your arm.

“you better fucking let go or you’re gonna loose all your fucking fingers.” abby chimes up, pulling you towards her. ellie laughs. “i don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you only get one of those. and that was it.”

“oh really?”

“guys seriously.” you pull out of both of their grasps. “enough. i’m not a fucking baby. everybody always treats me like i’m some fucking fragile fucking baby. fuck off.” you look between the two of them. “we’re at a goddamn party, so let’s party.”

the music is louder than it was before. you let it take over your body, taking one of each girls hands into your own and leading them into the crowd. body grinding against them to the beat of the song.

“listen, i really need to talk to you!” ellie yells over it. abby is behind you snaking a hand around your waist to pull you closer to her. maneuvering her body to move the way yours was. “no way in hell is that happening.” she yells back for you.

ellie’s thinking about how hard she wants to punch her. while she’s looking at the way she’s holding you. while you’re smiling. while she balls her fist up and her knuckles turn white. while her breathing starts to calm when she focuses on your hand still in hers, prompting you to dance.

“we’ll talk after this then, okay? at the hotel?” her tone is hopeful.

she’s being such a party pooper. prying you for an answer, making it hard for you to enjoy the moment. you feel a rush of emotions creeping in. another memory, another after party.

a very unhappy ellie that’s made a simple mistake onstage. an unnoticeable strum of the wrong string. it was fucking her up. she was drunkenly stumbling around until someone had started to help her sober up. then she stumbled across you. sweet, angelic, kind, perfect and happy you. enjoying the fucking party. ofcourse, you’d left crying that night.

you feel the tears welling up but you swallow them down. “fine let’s go talk ellie, since you’re begging so fucking much. i’ll be right back abs.” you reply.

she leads you to a secluded bathroom in the far back. holding your hand and dragging you along like purse. she closes and locks the door, leaning against it.

there are fucking tears threatening to spill, you can hear it in her voice when she speaks up. “i don’t—fuck i don’t know what i’ve done to you.”

you scoff.

“no i mean i do. i fucked you up. fuck. how do i fix it? what do you want me to do?”

you’re transported back again. another bathroom, holding ellie as she cries into you. switches to screaming at you, then crying into you again. blaming you for the guitar string mistake. blaming you for her forgetting the lyrics onstage. telling you that you’re truly useless, and she has no idea why dina and jesse drag you around with them.

why won’t it go away?

“make it go away.” you look into her glossy eyes. interlocking your fingers with hers and looking up at her with desperate eyes. a little bit of the old you slipping in before your face molds into a devious expression.

“make it fuzzy. make me forget. make it go away.”

she’s confused at first, and then she laughs cockily. she’s laughing as you pull her closer. she’s laughing as she pushes you up against the counter with a fervor, finding your low grunt of pleasure pure ecstasy.

her lips crash into yours, hands grappling into your waist. “i’m sorry.” she pulls away then dives back in. “i’m sorry.” she kisses your cheek. “i’m so fucking stupid.” she kisses your jawline. “let me fuck all of this away, okay?” she whispers into your ear.

your mind is growing fuzzy with her hands all over you. tugging up your shirt to kiss and lick and smile against your skin, down your chest to your stomach. tugging on your pants and your underwear. spreading your legs, pushing them apart before attaching her lips to your dripping cunt. tongue slipping in between your folds spreading your wetness to your clit.

you slip your hands into her messy hair, tugging when she sucks harder. slapping her tongue against your bud. the vibration of her humming hard against your heat. she’s eating you out and she’s being so fucking sloppy with it. she’s making a mess of you. making your legs tremble underneath you. you hadn’t realized you’d been crying out for her. actually crying. tears of pleasure were spilling down your face as you moaned her name.

she pulls away when she realizes, hands cupping your face to wipe them away. “i’m making you cry again.” she states.

you open your mouth to respond, but you’re cut off by a moan getting pushed out of your throat when her fingers slip into your sloppy sopping hole. curved to hit a spot that was pure euphoria. better than drugs. better than revenge. you were intoxicated. feeling a knot in your stomach start to build as ellie stares into your teary eyes.

she looks like she’s about to say something but she chooses to kiss you instead. on your forehead. on your neck. on your tear stained cheeks. on your pouted lips.

in, out. in, out. at an unsympathetic pace, she’s pounding into you so hard you can’t think. she’s doing exactly what she promised. she’s making it all fuzzy for you. she’s helping you forget. she’s helping you feel something other than pain.

you feel yourself coming undone, throwing your head back as you reach your peak. her lips are at your ear as she whispers softly.

“there you go baby. i got you. it’s okay. i’m sorry. just let it go.”

and you do. you let it all melt away as the pleasure pins and needles run up and down your body. as your eyes roll back. as you forget. forget the hurt. forget the past. forget how to feel.

[apomaro-mellow]

King&Prince 10

After his foot was deemed fine, Dustin dragged Steve to a sitting room and pushed him onto a couch.

"Wait here. I need to get everyone", he beamed before running off.

Steve really didn't understand what had gotten into him, but figured that he might finally meet this enigmatic Eddie. It was odd that he hadn't made himself known. From how the kids talked, he seemed like a larger than life personality. Dustin must have sent his friends ahead first, because Max, El, and Lucas arrived, and then Will and Mike.

"Where were you this morning?", Max asked, arms crossed.

"I...went on an outing with the king", Steve answered. He didn't think it wise to admit that while on the outing, he had smacked him and ran off up into a tree. Now that he thought about it, the whole thing was embarrassing. Steve rubbed his eyes and groaned.

"What's wrong?", El asked.

"I think my father was right. I'm an absolute idiot."

"Yeah, but a useful one", Robin said, coming in, following behind Dustin. "If our liege is going to be taking you out like that, I suggest we draft up some kind of sign out sheet."

Steve brought his hands down from his face. "What? For me? Like a piece of equipment."

"The music room looks great now, thanks to you", Will pointed out.

"Dustin. Why are we all here?", Lucas asked.

Dustin really looked like his face would break from how hard he was smiling. "You guys aren't gonna believe this. Steve says he's never met Eddie. Ever."

Steve wondered when he got comfortable not hearing the title 'prince' before his name. Probably when people spat it out to him like a curse word. While he was meditating on this, the rest of the group shared confused looks.

Mike spoke up first. "But he-"

"I know!", Dustin giggled.

"Does he-", Lucas stammered, pointing to Steve. "Does he not know-"

"How is that even possible? Is he brain-dead?", Max asked.

"Starting to seem like a real possibility", Robin said.

"If you all came just to insult me, I'll be heading back to my room now", Steve said, standing when El grabbed his arm.

"Wait. Sit", she ordered softly, so he did. Then she looked to the others. "Don't be mean. It's not his fault he doesn't know."

"Know what?", Steve asked.

"Certainly the things a Harrington doesn't know could fill a book", the king announced his presence with that quip. "Perhaps several books."

"Perfect. We're all here", Dustin grinned.

Steve didn't get what he meant by 'all'. "You all were talking him up so much, I thought I was finally going to meet this Eddie." He didn't miss the way the king's eyes got wide.

"This is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen", Will grinned.

Dustin cleared his throat. "Steve, why don't you tell us about Eddie?"

"Why would I tell you about your friend?", Steve crossed his arms.

"Just, tell us how you'd describe him", Lucas urged.

Steve glanced at King Edward, always wary of him, even though there was a small table between them. "He's always hanging around you guys. Telling you stories that you like, playing with you."

"Which was your favorite story?", Dustin asked.

"Depends", Steve shrugged. "If it's the one he does with you guys, I sort of liked that one about the missing friend. I don't believe in leaving anyone behind and I can't believe you argumentative shits actually worked together long enough to find them."

"You gonna let your prisoner call your wards 'shits'?", Robin smirked at the king.

"If the boot fits", he replied, face unreadable.

Steve didn't actually know how the king felt about this band of children. They seemed to enjoy the benefits of having the king's favor, despite at least one of them being a servant's child. Not for the first time, he wondered what they were all doing here.

"Anyway", he continued. "If it's my favorite story about Eddie, probably the one you called the uh, what was it? The ribbon incident?"

The king shot up to his feet and pointed an accusatory finger to Dustin. "You told him about that!?", he squawked in a very un-kingly manner.

"I didn't, Max did", Dustin ratted right away.

"I did. It was funny", Max said.

"What about the nice things about Eddie?", El asked.

"Who's saying nice things about Eddie?", Robin asked, brow raised. "Like, out loud?"

"Great gusts, you'd think they worship him", Steve groaned. "Half the things they told me about were how amazing Eddie was."

"Okay, Steve you can shut up now", Mike warned.

"'Eddie did this and it was great', 'Eddie did that and we fucking loved it'. 'Eddie's the best', Eddie is-", Steve paused when he saw the king smiling. Not just smiling but looking...well and odd combination of smug and bashful. Why would he...wait...

"I'm going to ask a stupid question", he started.

"My word, I think he's got it", Robin said.

"Shh, birdie. There's no such thing as a stupid, little prince", the king looked to him.

There was something different about the way he said 'little prince' this time, but Steve forged ahead. "King Edward...are you Eddie?"

"That I am", he answered.

"You just-you just let these random children call you that?"

King Edward-no Eddie-no, he was still King Edward, looked around the room at the gaggle present. "I wouldn't call them 'random'."

Steve couldn't take it. He was looking at them with...well it could only be described as fondness, as adoration, something like love. He shot up from his seat and marched towards the door, needing to get away. This time, El didn't hold him back. But he did hear Dustin running after him and calling for him. Steve didn't stop until he was back in his room. Not his room, a cell. He might have a better bed and a window now, but this was still very much a prison.

"Hey, what the shit?", Dustin demanded, coming in without so much as a knock.

"You all just expect me to believe all of that? That King Edward is Eddie?"

"Yeah", Dustin jutted his chin out. "Why's that so hard to believe?"

"That man is the same one who cried when his favorite lute broke? The same one who used to sing El to sleep? The same one who ate so many strawberries that he passed out?"

"To be fair, he was shifted into a bat at the time, so it only took like ten strawberries", Dustin clarified.

"You're asking me to look at red and see blue."

"Huh?"

"King Edward is not the same as Eddie. Those are two different people and I won't believe that they're the same." Steve turned to look out the window. He was wasting his time here. He had to think of an escape. It was far up but with enough sheets, this might be a viable option.

"Maybe I don't want you to see blue. Maybe I want you to see purple."

Steve's brow furrowed. "What?"

"You knew about one side of Eddie. Let's call that red. Now you know the other side, his blue side. Now you just need to put them together to make purple", Dustin explained.

"You're asking the impossible." Steve sat down on his bed but kept his eyes trained on the window.

Dustin came over and sat next to him. "Have you ever had someone look at you and only see one thing?"

"It's different with him. He's a tyrant."

“Did you ever think it might be time for you to get rid of that narrow worldview of yours and broaden your horizons?”, Dustin tilted his head like he was talking to a child.

Steve, ever stubborn, didn’t respond and kept looking out the window. He couldn’t see his kingdom from here, and at this point he was wondering if he’d ever lay eyes on it again. He didn’t know whether that would be a bad thing or a blessing. He didn't want to admit it, but Dustin had hit the nail on the head. Back home, he'd only been one thing or the other. People rarely got close enough to see the whole picture of what he was.

“Seriously, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”, Dustin urged, frustrated.

“I’m not going to be toyed with by your king.” At the end of the day, they were mortal enemies. There was no common ground wide enough to change that. A few stories of him not being a menace meant nothing. At least that's what he was telling himself.

"Henderson, leave us alone", the king said, also coming in without knocking.

Steve expected to hear protests, but Dustin got up and left without a word. Apparently he did actually respect the king's authority sometimes. Steve turned, knowing it wasn't wise to have your back towards the enemy.

"Suppose you're here to tell me how nice you actually are."

The king closed the door but didn't step away from it, keeping the distance between them. He looked uncertain and that enough threw Steve off. What did he have to be unsure about?

"There's something I need to tell you. Something I should have said days ago."

"What? Your nickname? I would have figured it out if those brats had any sense of awareness."

"They talk about you the same way."

Steve stood slowly, feeling somehow vulnerable even though neither of them were positioned to fight. "What?"

"Ever since they started talking to you, it was always 'Steve this, Steve that'", the king smiled in much the same way he had before. "'Steve knows so much, I learned a lot from him today'. It was kind of annoying to be honest."

Steve crossed his arms. He could relate, but he wouldn't let that show.

"I didn't want to believe that the son of my enemy could be good with kids. That he could be kind and gentle."

"Why are you telling me this?", Steve asked.

"Because I know you're not like your father. Or your grandfather. As much as you pretend to be."

"You don't know anything. And if you think being nice to me is going to get me to defect, you've got another thing coming."

"You're that loyal to your father?", he felt the words rising up out of his mouth like venom but couldn't decide if he wanted to poison the prince or protect him.

"I'm loyal to my kingdom", Steve said, voice full of sincerity. He knew he wasn't the perfect prince, but his father wasn't infallible either. But Steve's allegiance had been to his people for a long time. He felt as though he'd said too much though, when he saw the king's expression slip.

“Your king…Your father…”, Eddie looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t he say it? “When I sent the ransom letter, all I asked was to negotiate. Only then could I guarantee your safe return.”

Steve’s face showed no change. No realization. If anything, he looked resigned.

“King Alric has refused to sit with me.”

“So you can no longer guarantee my safety”, Steve surmised.

There was an even deeper resignation as his shoulders sagged and Eddie knew that Steve believed he was here to execute him. He shook his head frantically, making a decision right then and there.

“Your safety is between you and I now. It has nothing to do with that man.”

Steve frowned. "But you just said-"

"I said you're not your father."

"...So you'll let me go?"

Eddie could hear Nancy berating him and even Jeff giving him some choice words for releasing what should be a very valuable hostage without consulting them first. He pushed their voices away.

"If that is what you wish."

Steve didn't know if he felt a weight lift off his shoulders or a heavier one bear down on him. Before, his father had decided where Steve would go and he obeyed. Then he had been shackled by King Edward, only allowed where he let him. But now he was being giving a choice. To return home or to...to what? Stay here? Was it even a choice?

He felt completely unmoored and didn't know what was right.

"If you stay...", Eddie started, looking unsure himself. "If you stay, you won't be a prisoner anymore."

Steve let out a breath. "Then what will I be?"

Eddie grinned cheekily and Steve thought of the color purple. Dammit, Dustin.

"You'll be one of my little shits."

Steve laughed so sudden and loud that Eddie startled. Everything he'd been feeling had bubbled up and overflowed and finally found its way out. When he finished, he wiped a stray tear and caught his breath.

"Can we think of a better title while I think about it?"

"At your leisure, little prince."

Holy cow can you believe we're nearly done with the first arc?

Part 12

Tag Team

@thesuninyaface @only-evanescent @snakeorsquid @ignoremyworld @theclichefortunecookie @goodolefashionedloverboi @just-a-tiny-void @0body0disphoria0 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @samsoble @jamieweasley13 @y4r3luv @xtkxkrzrizir @un-knownperson @greekgeek24 @justdrugsformethanks @potato-of-the-lord @notaqueenakhaleesi @swimmingbirdrunningrock @queenie-ofthe-void @nebulainajar @lil-gremlin-things @nicememerino @robininblue @hornedqueenofhell @anne-bennett-cosplayer @moomkin77 @here4thetrama @bookworm0690

[copperbadge]

Immediate Writer's Block

Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:

constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol

I do have some advice on this!

I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.

An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.

Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.

And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.

So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.

[bedoballoons]

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

A/n: Modern School AU! Part 3! Warning for bullying, being rough, curse words and fights! Requests/asks open!

{༻~A bully is picking on you~༺}

(Includes: Albedo, Tighnari, Xiao, Kazuha, Heizou, and Scaramouche!)

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𑁍༄Albedo:

Panick filled you, your heart racing as you stepped backwards, your back flush against the cold metal locker, it's lock digging into you and yet that was the least of your worries. Surrounding you was a well known group of bullies that terrorised the halls of the school and from the way their eyes stared at you menacingly, their smiles turned into overly smug smirks...you could tell they weren't there to be friendly to you.

"Look, I haven't done anything to bother you, so how about I just make my way to class and you guys leave me alone. Sound good?" Your voice cracked as you spoke, fear dripping in your words as you tried to inch away, but the leader of the group wasn't gonna let you out easy, his hand grappling the front of your shirt and shoving you harshly back against the locker, him and his ruffians laughing loudly as you were held in place.

"Ahem..."

Your ears pricked up as all the bullies turned to the new voice, a few of them chuckling as they noticed Albedo standing a couple feet away. Seeing him instantly made you feel better and as he walked up to the group of bullies that had taunted him many times before so courageously, you couldn't help but blush a little. "Unhand them. Now." He said, his voice threatening as he ripped the leaders hand off of you, his eyes filled with a rage you'd never seen before...enough to make even the bullies back up a step.

𑁍༄Tighnari:

You felt so small, your heart racing as you were harshly shoved backwards, all of the books you'd been previously holding in your arms scattering across the cement ground. "Honestly how much of a pathetic nerd can you be? You and your smart ass boyfriend." The bully spat at you, anger rising in your chest at the mention of Tighnari, tears forming at the edges of your eyes from fear and fury, you wanted to scream at them.

"I'm not a smart ass, you're just a imbecile. Oh wait, I'm sorry, you probably don't know what that means do you. Here let me dumb it down for your miniature brain, leave them alone..." You smiled as you looked up, Tighnari standing next to you, his arms crossed and his words hitting the bullies harder than even he had originally expected. He held out his hand, helping you off the ground before picking up your books and handing them back to you while the bullies just glared.

𑁍༄Xiao:

"Can't you guys just leave me alone? I just want to get to class." You muttered doing your best to avoid the annoying group of people around you, each of them making comments about the things you were most self conscious about, as you tried desperately to shove past them. "Awwwe but we just wanna hang out with you, I mean after all, how often are you without your creepy boyfriend." One of them said, a sick smile on their face as you got a annoyed look...just you wait you thought to yourself.

Suddenly a arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close, the group all stepping back as Xiao spoke, his yellow eyes staring daggers into their souls, "Creepy...ouch. How about this, you leave my beautiful partner alone...or else." Your cheeks turned a bright red as you snuggled into his touch, hoping he wouldn't actually start a fight with anyone.

The bullies stood there for a second, wondering if he truly meant it and if he did...just what he meant by or else. Xiao simply smirked, lifting his hand up...and just like that they all went running. He rolled his eyes, wrapping his other arm around you, making it so he was now embracing you tightly. "Are you okay?"

𑁍༄Kazuha:

You fought against the person holding you back, trying as hard as you could to get away and stop the tall boy in front of you, who was currently holding your favourite poem from Kazuha in his hands. "Let me go! That's mine! Please!" You shouted desperately, but the boy chuckled, waving the small paper in front of your face with a horrible smirk, "What you mean this? Looks like trash to me." You reached out in a attempt to grab it, but he snatched away from your reach and gave it one last wave before ripping it to shreds.

Small flicks of paper scattering across the tile floor as your heart fell, "No!" You screamed, your captor letting you go now that the damage had been done...and you fell to the ground, trying to grab the pieces, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. "Hey, don't worry about this poem my dear, my love for you can always be expressed again...and in even better ways." You gasped as gentle hands wrapped around yours, Kazuhas comforting voice filling you with comfort.

He helped you up, shooting a slight glare at the bullies before slipping his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining as he walked you away from them. As soon as you were a good distance away, he pulled you close to him, his calming aura making you feel safe. He gently cupped your cheek, placing a soft kiss on your forehead and then another loving kiss on your lips. "Are you alright my love?..."

𑁍༄Heizou:

You wrapped your arms around yourself tightly, feeling uncomfortable as the well known bully smiled, brushing a piece of hair away from your face. "You know, it's almost sad that you are so low on the school food chain. If you had just a bit more popularity you might actually be cute." You made a disgusted face at his words, trying to get away but he stepped in front of you, cutting you off from the only exit.

You looked around frantically, hoping to see someone else in the halls who would get you out of this situation, but no one else was around...or so you thought. You didn't even have time to think as someone hugged you from behind, their chin resting softly on top of your head as the bully groaned in annoyance. "Seems I showed up at just the right time, sorry but they're taken...and I suggest you make yourself scearce."

Heizou kissed the top of your head, making it clear you were already in a relationship and the bully took the hint, hurrying away awkwardly as relief filled you. "Thank you..." You said quietly, turning to face him so you could rest your forehead against his chest and hug him tightly. "Sorry I didn't get here sooner..."

𑁍༄Scaramouche:

Your wrist hurt, enough to make water pool in your eyes as the bully screamed in your face, you couldn't even tell what they were saying any more, all you knew was that it was probably more horrible things. You were just about to shout for help...when suddenly you were freed, the bully now lying on the floor as blood poured from their nose.

"Wow...that's truly pathetic isn't it. One hit and you're crying like a baby...next time I'll do more. Now fuck off." You gasped as your eyes focused on Scaramouche, his words dripping with hatred as he looked down at what he considered a worthless worm of society. "Scaramouche..." You said softly, barely above a whisper, you couldn't help but feel weak after what had just happened.

"Are you hurt?" He asked sounding almost annoyed as he helped you up, but you could tell from the look in his eyes...he was worried about you and the fact he had actually asked if you were okay..showed that he truly cared, even if he he had a hard time showing it. "My wrist hurts a little..and my head from all the yelling, b-but I'm okay." Then to your surprise, he pulled you close to him, wiping your tears away softly "Bastard."

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Have a good day!*⁠.⁠✧

[barrenclan]

I think overarching plot is relatively easy to come up with, but how do you come up with smaller more filler-like events for your stories, like the plum-bee spats and corm training with egret? I’m having some trouble filling in the flesh of my own story, and was wondering if you had any insight.

Oh boy, real softball questions! Haha, but I can try to give you an answer for these.

I think the best way I can explain the first question is how I wrote PATFW, since it was much more heavily structured than my other comic (and more recent).

So, I started with the premise, the characters, and the general arcs I wanted each of them to go through. The premise helped me to establish the guidelines of this world, what kind of tone I would have for the story - moody and mysterious, so I knew that comedy would not be as frequent and characters might often take a turn towards more realistic drama.

The arcs of each character came with understanding what I wanted to do with them - do I want this person to get better, or get worse? Will they be a force of antagonism, or a side character, will they live or die? What point am I trying to get across with this character? Those kind of questions helped me know how they would interact with each other as well, so for instance a character like Daffodilpaw being friendly and cheerful, with her arc, would interact a specific way with dramatic and egotistical Beeface, for her arc. (Sorry I can't be more specific, but the comic's not done yet.)

Once you have a strong understanding these things - tone and characters - it's not too hard to let the story percolate in your mind. There's nothing wrong with just letting ideas float around in the back of your brain, instead of trying to force them all out right away. I actually wrote the ending of PATFW a couple months after I had started the comic, because the characters naturally led me to that conclusion. Here's an example of what I'm talking about with tone and characters leading to a small interaction that I hadn't previously planned like you asked about:

I have Rainhaze, and Ranger. Rainhaze is kind and brave, but currently very lost. Ranger is sadistic and enjoys feeling in control. So, I need a plot reason for Ranger to have not found BarrenClan. Well, Rainhaze being self-sacrificial, told him that BarrenClan all died and he's the last survivor. When Ranger finds out, it makes him feel tricked - he doesn't like that, so he threatens to kill Rainhaze. Rainhaze is self-sacrificial, as previously mentioned, and is now showing some suicidal tendencies, so he doesn't care if Ranger kills him. But Ranger then refuses to do so, having regained control, and twists the knife by letting him live while feeling suicidal. That's a pretty grim scene, which fits with the tone of the story well.

There you go - that's an interaction I hadn't plotted out the story with, but I was able to come to naturally by understanding the characters, the way their arcs are moving, and the tone of the story.

For this question, it's a little more tricky. The sad, honest answer is that there is no reliable way to do this. That's kind of how the Internet works. Unless you pay money to advertise, I suppose, you can't push a button that says "popularity points" and have it spit out readers. And sadly, sometimes movement only comes after you grind away, day after day, and don't give up. Here's a few things that might help, though.

Use multiple platforms. It's simple, but the more places you post, the more eyes you'll catch. Different websites/apps have different readerbases, too - Webtoons, ComicFury, Instagram, DeviantArt, Tumblr, Hiveworks, and others all have varying levels of attention and algorithims, and work that you have to do to keep up with an audience. Find whatever feels right for you and focus on one or two, but keep the others in your periphery.

Be consistent. People are more likely to actually keep up with a comic that updates every single week, rather than that posts a page or two and then ghosts for a month. Cough, cough, maybe you'll say - but I always set out with this comic to be a side project, and posting asks like this helps me continue to engage with an audience even when I'm not completing issues.

DON'T CARE! I know that seems like counterproductive advice, but seriously; you have to be okay with the fact that you might not get any attention. If you make a comic with the set goal of being popular, or even just worry about having readers, you're going to make yourself miserable. Obviously having attention is more fun, and more motivating, I won't deny that. But you need to be just as happy making a comic for 3 people than 3000 to make something you're proud of and not burn out in the process. If you're making something earnest, fun, interesting, passionate - people will come eventually.

[cartoon-lovers-world]

Thanks for @blorbopostingtime for this idea!

FERAL BRANCH!

LET OUR BOY UNLEASH HIS INNER MONSTERS!

Anyway, I suck at writing angst so you can TOTALLY feel free to add or say anything about this. I accept and appreciate criticism

Enjoyyy!

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, an apology isn't going to fix everything…" Branch muttered, taking a step back.

"We know, but-"

"But what?" the youngest stammered, anger slowly replacing his initial fear. "But what?!"

"Branch, calm down-"

"Calm down? Calm down?!" he yelled, not caring if it was Floyd he had interrupted this time. "Do you even have any idea what I've been through?!"

Clay took a deep breath, trying to speak in a gentler tone than his brothers, if that was even possible. "We know we messed up, but we're here now, and we want to make things better."

Branch scoffed. "Now? Now when what? Now when I've managed to battle my own demons? Now when I've found happiness? When I've moved on from Grandma's death? Where were you during all that?"

They froze, racking their brains for a logical justification.

But there was none.

Seeing no response, he went on. "Where were you when I was having a panic attack every single day, blaming myself for Grandma's death?! Where were you, when I was living alone in the wilderness, huh?!" He stomped his foot in frustration, his hands unknowingly clenching and unclenching in fists. "Do you even know what it feels like to be rejected by your OWN people, just because you're different, because you're sad?! Instead of them actually helping you?!"

Poppy hesitated, tears welling up in her eyes as she tried to move towards her boyfriend, to hug him, to comfort him, but something inside her screamed at her to stop. He needed this moment to let it out, and they needed to hear it.

He glared at them with tears in his eyes, feeling a surge of resentment and betrayal. "You abandoned me! You left me alone and I was only a freaking five-year old baby! And now you come back, acting like nothing happened, like you care about me?!" he shouted.

"Branch, we're sorry, we're so sorry-" Clay said, his voice cracking.

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it!" Branch snapped. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you? How many days have I woke up hoping against hope that you were back?!"

They took a step back, unsure of what to do or say, if there was even something to be said. They messed up, big time.

Floyd's eyes were starting to water, and he managed to mutter, "Branch, we don't want forgiveness, we just want to talk about it-" before his brother stopped him with his sarcastic tone.

"Oh, that's so great, let's talk about why we abandoned our baby brother and never came back, even though we promised, didn't we, Floyd?" he spat. "Was I even on your mind? Because if I was, I'm sure this whole talk wouldn't be happening right now!"

"That's not true, Branch, that's not true!" Floyd protested. "We love you, we've always loved you!"

"Then why did you leave me?" Branch asked, his voice breaking. "Why did you leave me when we could've talked it out? When we could've been a family?!"

They lowered their heads, unable to answer. They had their reasons, but they knew they were not good enough. They had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. And now, it was their turn to handle its consequences.

"Branch, please, listen to us-" Floyd tried again, reaching out his hand.

However, his brother flinched and slapped his hand away, shaking his head. "Don't touch me!"

"Alright, no touching, no touching!" the red-haired troll retreated, holding his hands up. "Just listen to us, please."

"Alright." Branch took a deep breath, letting it out as a frustrated sigh as he pretended to zip his lips. He gave them a sarcastic smile, silently allowing them to stand up for themselves.

Bruce began, seeing no attempt from the others. "We messed up, okay? We know we did. But we love you, we love you so much."

"Yeah, bro, and nothing will change that," John added, his voice shaking slightly as he expected another interruption. But to his surprise, their youngest brother stayed silent.

"We just want a second chance," Floyd chimed, "And we promise, this time, we'll do better."

But Branch had stopped listening long ago. What was the point? He'll trust them, get attached, then bam, they'll leave again. Same old story. Even Floyd, the one who's never broken a promise in his life, broke one promise - his and Branch's promise, and Branch didn't know if he'll ever be able to forget this one.

Everything hurt. His head hurt, his chest tightened, and his limbs were starting to shake. He closed his eyes, trying to pull himself together, but the dull troll was greeted with the room swirling around him in a dizzying manner as soon as he opened his eyes, and his brothers' intertwined voices weren't helping, if anything, they were adding to his headache. He put a hand on his forehead, desperately trying to regain his balance, but the more anyone talked, the more the room swirled. All he wanted was some quiet.

Which was the opposite of what he got when he collapsed to his knees in a heap.

"Branch! Are you okay?"

His girlfriend, as always, he thought, was the first to be by his side, and he felt her hand gently lifting his chin, locking their gazes.

"You okay?"

He nodded, deciding it'd be better if he didn't try to get up in his current state.

"Do you want water, anything?"

He shook his head, and instantly regretted the small gesture as the dizziness that was starting to subside persisted.

"Sure?" He felt her hand squeezing his, as if trying to convey as little reassurance as she could provide at the moment.

He blinked, just now realizing that his brothers were surrounding him, each putting a hand on either his shoulders or back. He took a deep breath, finally managing to his voice, and without thinking, he choked a weak, "Leave…"

"But-"

"Leave!" Branch yelled. He stood up abruptly, and quickly reached out for the nearest piece of furniture to steady himself. Great, now the room was spinning again.

"Branch, you're not okay, at least lie down-"

Branch cut off the pink troll, softer than he did with his brothers as he slurred, "Fine… fine…" His head was pounding, but he didn't care. He turned to the remaining audience with a feeble wave of his hand. "Get out…"

But their bodies wouldn't listen.

"GET OUT!"

They gasped, unconsciously taking steps back but not fully comprehending their youngest brother's words.

Till they hardly dodged the shreds of his wooden table.

"Get out! Leave me alone!"

At this point, Branch was crashing anything that came his way as he paced back and forth, moans and screams escaping his lips and palms pulling at his hair, taking out dark hairs on their way back.

"Leave! Now!" he shouted, not even looking up to face his brothers. "What part of NOW don't you understand?!"

They tried to move, but they couldn't. What happened to the baby of the family?

"Get out of my bunker! Now! Or I'll show you CRAZY!" He screamed, flipping his entire bookshelf and maniacally tearing at his books, a sight that left Clay in a trance-like state.

Poppy was the first one to recover, eyes darting between the shattered furniture and the blood on her boyfriend's hands.

When she said she wanted him to let it out, this was not what she meant, not at all.

Slightly panicking, the Queen took her sister's hand and quickly led her to the elevator, before doing the same with Branch's brothers. Each was holding another one's hand in an attempt to drag him along, though Poppy was already on that mission.

And in a blink, they were gone.

He was alone.

—------------

He was alone.

So why wasn't he calming down? Why was he still screaming?

The bunker, once tidy and organized, was now messy and dusty, debris crumbling down the walls and onto the ground. Why was he doing this? Branch didn't know for sure, all he knew was that his hands were itching.

He wanted to crash something.

He needed to crash something.

He wanted to let it out, but on what, when he's destroyed his own home?

The troll felt a surge of rage as he smashed his belongings. He had spent years building this bunker, treating it like home, like his safe place. But now it felt like a prison. He was alone, just like he had always been, so why did it hurt this time? They didn't really think that after leaving him for over two decades, and then come back, that he would want to join their party with open arms, did they? He didn't need them. He didn't need any of them.

He stormed in and out different rooms through his bunker, looking for something else to break.

But there was nothing. He'd crashed everything.

And that's when he collapsed to the floor, his chest heaving.

[monsterfuker3000]

Training Room

Wrote a little sub!Leon for the people (this is so totally for me. I’ve never written something so self-serving in my life.)

Warnings: sub!virgin!Leon, it’s implied reader has some experience, reader is afab, NSFW, oral (m receiving,) p in v, crying, unprotected sex (*sprays you with a spray bottle,*) RE2 Leon cries after sex and I will not be taking questions or criticisms. Not proofread we die like men, I’m positive there are continuity issues in this but I wrote it with my pussy and not my brain so I apologize. This is for you babes sorry for the wait @jacaerysthinker

Word count is a grand 3,479 I got carried away whoops. I wrote a part 2! It’s called A Lesson in Dining Etiquette

Alright, this isn’t how Leon necessarily imagined this sparring session going, but considering how good it felt to have you grind against him, he certainly wasn’t going to complain.

The two of you had gone to police academy together and had quickly become close friends. By sheer dumb luck, you were both assigned to two newly vacated positions in Raccoon City. What are the odds?

Leon was good at what he did, scary good. You, on the other hand, had some trouble. You excelled in every category but sparring, the one curriculum that had allowed you to pass just by the skin of your teeth. Leon worried for your safety because of this, and you knew you needed practice. That’s what landed you in the practice room late one night after everyone had gone home.

You’d been here for hours already, sweating and losing patience. Leon, on the other hand, had barely broken a sweat, his stupid hair still falling perfectly over his stupid face. You were working on an especially critical move, one that would have you sweeping a suspect’s legs out from under them and wrestling them to the ground on their stomach, allowing you to easily cuff them behind their back. This one was really giving you trouble, and you were growing frustrated that Leon seemed to fight you off as easily as he’d swat away a fly.

Nearly every attempt landed you straight on your ass. Leon was kind enough to help you up, but as your best friend, he couldn’t help himself from laughing.

“Maybe we should take a break, you’re not going to get anywhere when you’re this frustrated,” he mused.

“Not yet, I can do it this time,” you spat. He barked out a short laugh.

“Fine. I’ll give you one more try, and after this we’re breaking for dinner. I’m starving,” he replied with a smile. He was enjoying this too much. You, sweaty and panting, alone with him for hours? He’d been half-hard since the two of you stepped into the practice room and hoped to God you didn’t notice.

You didn’t, thank God, you were too busy cursing his name as you tried like hell to take him down, determined you’d do it this time if it was the last damn thing you did. You nodded. You could do it this time.

You moved into your defensive position and signaled to Leon to begin. He moved to attack, and you ran through the steps just as he’d been showing you for the last few hours. Sidestep, grab his arm, kick the back of his legs. Yes! You did it, you finally got him on the ground. Now, to complete the move you just had to turn and plant a leg on either side of his back so you could place your body weight on him, pinning him.

The first half of the move went off without a hitch, you were certain you had him this time. What you didn’t foresee was Leon rolling onto his back just as you came down on him, landing you square on his crotch. You were ecstatic you’d gotten this far, not paying attention to where you’d actually landed, but Leon was a bit distracted by your position.

“Yes!” You cried out, pumping both fists in the air and bouncing slightly. Leon grunted underneath you, but you were still oblivious. “I got you, I got youuu~” you practically sang as you swayed back and forth, still sitting on him. With this shift, however, you felt Leon’s semi under your ass and your eyes widened. “Oh, oh Lee I’m so sorry, I-“ you began as you tried to stand. His hands flew out to grab at your hips, keeping you there.

“No!” He cried out. “No no no, please,” he panted, his eyes screwed shut. “Please don’t move,” he trailed off, his voice small.

Oh my God.

Leon, your best friend, the man you’ve been pining for for months, was whimpering underneath you. You hadn’t told him the huge, embarrassing crush you have on him of course, how could you? You gave an experimental roll of your hips against his and he cried out again, a high whine from the back of his throat. Oh. You could work with this. You rolled your hips again and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“You got a problem there, officer?” you teased. He shivered and his face flushed such a pretty shade of pink, the color dusted across his cheeks and even his nose. You could feel he was now fully hard beneath you. Cute.

“I-I’m sorry I. . . I’ll get up, you don’t have to-“ you cut him off, pressing against his chest as he tried to sit up. You leaned in, your lips just an inch away from his as your breath ghosted over them, giving him a chance to pull back. When he doesn’t, you press your lips to his.

You began gently, placing a chaste, closed-mouthed kiss to his lips, testing the waters. Leon had other ideas. He moved one hand from your hips to the back of your head, pulling you in and kissing you hard. You gasp, and he uses the opportunity to lick into your mouth. You pull back, surprised, and Leon instantly begins fumbling again.

“I’m so sorry, that was too much I. . . I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long and I should have asked you and I don’t know whatcameovermepleaseforgive-“ you place a hand over his mouth and give him a soft smile.

“Lee, honey, it’s okay. You did nothing wrong. Now,” you replied, glancing down at the very obvious outline of his now rock-hard cock, “are you going to let me help you with that, sweetheart?” He nodded, looking at you with what you could only describe as idolatry.

You removed your hand from his mouth and watched it fall slack, his eyes wide. You lifted yourself off him and moved to unbuckle his belt, but stopped. “Lee, is this okay?”

“Yes, God please, it’s more than okay, just please touch me, baby,” he whined. Even cuter. You still hesitated.

“Have you done anything like this before?” Your question seemed to take him by surprise, and the adorable blush on his cheeks only deepened. He seemed to shrink in on himself as he shook his head slowly. You were astounded. A man like Leon had never moved past first base? Astonishing, but something to ponder over another time.

Your silence and surprised expression did nothing to comfort Leon, and he only became more unsure of himself, seemingly trying to make himself as small as possible. He sniffled a bit, and your heart broke as you watched those big blue eyes fill with tears as he stumbled over an apology.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to do anything, I don’t know how to make you feel good. . .” he trailed off. You gave him another gentle smile and placed a hand against his cheek, stroking it with your thumb.

“Well, Lee, we’re in a training room, aren't we?” You grinned, watching him relax a bit. “Besides, I want to help you. Will you let me?” you asked, looking into those still-teary eyes. So pretty.

He nodded, still shy, and you smiled. You unbuckled his belt for him and undid his pants, pulling them down to his knees along with his boxers. He cried out and you winced; only then did you consider that the rough drag of his boxers over his cock and the slap against his stomach as it sprung upward might be too much for him. Oh, but what a pretty cock it was.

About six inches long and girthy as all hell, it was beautiful. There was a thatch of curly hair at the base, just a bit darker than the pretty blonde on his head, and the tip was such a deep red that it almost looked angry. You couldn’t help but swipe a finger over the bead of precum gathering at the slit and pop it in your mouth, earning an incoherent cry from Leon, along with damn near the widest eyes you'd ever seen. You moaned and smiled softly around your finger at the heady taste, both satisfied and wanting to put on a bit of a show for the man.

Leon was fairly certain you were trying to kill him.

You took him into your mouth as he still laid sprawled on the ground; he decided this was just fine because he knew the second you opened your mouth for him he would have fallen to his knees, whether that be from weakness or exaltation, he did not know.

You took as much of his cock into your mouth as you could, allowing it to push into your open throat and brushing your nose into the curls at the base. He cried out, sounding almost pained, but were you not torturing him? Both of his hands were curled tightly into fists at his side, banging against the padded ground as he tried desperately to keep from grabbing the back of your head and fucking into your mouth. This just would not do.

You pulled away, and he lifted his head to look at you and whined at the loss of contact, his lower lip even sticking out a bit and his eyes still teary. God, so cute.

“Relax, sweetheart, hm?” You took one of his hands in yours and moved it to the back of your head. He wound his fingers tightly in your hair and gave an experimental pull, letting go as if he was burned when you moaned.

“‘M sorry, did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to, I swear-“

“Lee, it felt good. Besides, what did I just tell you?” You raised an eyebrow at him and he breathed deeply.

“I’m relaxing, I promise, I’m relaxing.” He dropped his head back to the floor and looked up at the ceiling.

You sat up to look at him more directly, once again taking in the full view of that pretty pink blush on his face, and he met your eyes.

“Leon, I want you to do what feels good and natural for you, okay? I promise that if I don’t like something you do, I’ll tell you right away, and I promise I’ll do the same for you. You promise you’ll tell me if you don’t like something or you want to stop?” He nodded but you shook your head. “I need to hear it, baby, promise me you’ll be honest with me, no judgment whatsoever.”

He cleared his throat, wondering when it began to feel so dry. “I promise. I promise I’ll tell you if I don’t like something so please touch me, let me touch you, anything,” he answered. You smiled down at him.

“Of course, honey,” a hint of condescension in your voice. “Good boys get whatever they ask for, don’t you know that? Are you a good boy?”

Leon’s breath caught in his throat and his cock jumped. ‘Oh my God,’ he thought, ‘she’s seriously going to fucking kill me.”

You moved to stand, undoing your pants and sliding them off to give him a view of your panties before sliding them off as well. You straddled him again, sitting so that the underside of his cock was pressed against you as he moaned. You rocked your hips forward, coating him in your slick. His hands flew to your hips and grabbed them, hard. You smiled, he was finally letting loose a bit. You continued to rock gently back and forth, giving him some time to adjust to the sensation before lifting your hips and using your hand to line his cock up with your entrance before using your other hand to grab his face, forcing him to look at you.

He stared, wide-eyed, cheeks slightly squished and eyelashes still wet from unshed tears. “You okay with this Lee?” you asked.

Jesus Christ, was he okay with this.

He whined, hips bucking upwards searching for some friction, stopping when you gave him a stern look. Words. Words. You only accepted words. He could come up with some words, right?

He was frustrated, he just wanted you to touch him already, he wanted you so bad he could barely think. A nearly pained cry ripped from his throat before he began babbling.

“Please, please sit down, please fuck me, please touch me I’ve been such a good boy I promise I have! Please just take whatever you want, fuck me however you want, use me-fuck!”

You cut him off by sitting down, sheathing him in you completely, balls pressed to your ass. You didn’t think he could get any prettier than he already was. But with his back arched, his teeth gritted, his brows furrowed, and his big blue eyes screwed shut, this was definitely the prettiest you’d ever seen him. You tried to bounce on him a bit but he gripped your hips, keeping you flush with his pelvis.

“No, please don’t move yet, give me a second,” he whined. He was fairly certain that if you moved he was going to cum within seconds, and he wanted to make you feel good before he did that. He took a deep breath. “Can you. . . Show me what to do? Is there something I can do with my hands that will make you feel good?” He asked, still shy.

You smiled fondly at him, deciding not to tease him this time, as easy as it would have been. You nodded and lifted one of his hands off your hip, guiding his thumb to your clit and showing him how to circle it just the way you liked. You let go of his hand to let him take over, and he kept up the pace perfectly, even adding a bit more pressure here and there, causing you to buck your hips and moan softly. Quick learner, hm?

“You can move now, please,” Leon whined. As much as he wanted to get you off he didn’t think that he could keep lying on the floor, balls deep in the person he’s loved for months without going crazy.

“Okay baby, I’m going to start slow, okay? Tell me if this is alright,” you said. He nodded and you decided to cut him a break just this once. You placed your hands on his chest and lifted yourself up just a few inches and dropped back down, and he keened, a pathetic sound that reminded you of the time he dislocated his shoulder in training. You picked up the pace, bouncing on him gently as he damn near writhed beneath you, his thumb fighting to keep circling your clit all the while. He’d already gotten you close when you were only seated on him, so it didn’t take long for your climax to approach.

“Lee, baby,” you panted, “I think I’m gonna cum. Please don’t stop what you’re doing, keep going just like that.” God himself could not have ripped him away from you right now, so he obliged. You began to lose your rhythm, but Leon, bless him, kept circling your clit like his life depended on it. You came, rutting your hips sharply against his and digging your nails into his chest. He watched your face closely, taking in every detail, every twitch in your expression, knowing damn well he’d be imagining this moment every time he jacked off for probably the rest of his life. Leon’s thumb began to feel a little too rough, the overstimulation getting to you, so you lifted his hand away from you and placed it back on your hip.

“Lee honey, you wanna cum in me?”

Oh my God.

“Are. . . Are you sure?” he asked. He may not know much, but he knew cumming inside was no small thing.

“Mhm,” you replied, nodding and leaning down to peck his lips. “Plus,” you continued, “I want your pretty cock in me when you cum. Don’t you want to see your cum leaking out of this pussy? And I keep telling you baby, relax. I want to hear more of those pretty sounds that I know you’re trying to hold back.”

Jesus Christ. You were actually trying to kill him.

When he didn’t answer because he was fairly certain his brain had turned to mush and started leaking out of his ears, you rolled your hips against him again, snapping him out of his haze. “Come on baby, you gonna ask to cum in this pussy?” you asked. He whined. He would fall to his knees and beg for this opportunity if he had to, and here you were, offering it up on your own.

“Please, angel, please let me cum inside, I wa-want to so bad. I was so good for you, wasn’t I? Darling, I’ll do w-whatever you ask of me, I swear, just please, please let me fill you up with my cum.”

Good enough.

You picked your hips back up and slammed them back down with an intensity you’d been holding back until now. You fucked him almost brutally, and good God did he let loose so you could hear him.

He looked beautiful like this, his hair mussed and spread out on the ground like a halo, his mouth hanging open slightly and his big baby blues glazed over and once again filling with tears. You had him so tightly wound that it didn’t take long for him to get close.

“I-I think I’m-I think I’m gonna c-cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m cumming, fuck baby I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” He repeated this like a mantra and you took mercy on him, finally slowing down so you could feel every twitch of his cock as he pumped you full of his cum and fat tears spilled freely from his eyes.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” you asked, gripping the front of his shirt and using it to haul him into a sitting position as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. He buried his face into your chest and freely cried as you stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeated through sobs. There was nothing you could do but continue trying to soothe him and tell him he had nothing to be sorry about.

He finally stopped crying a few minutes later, settling back down into only the occasional sniffle. You peeled him away from you to look at him, holding his face in your hands and wiping away a few stray tears with your thumbs.

“Hey, honey, what’s wrong? Did you not like something? Talk to me here baby,” you spoke to him gently as if you were trying to soothe a wild animal. He sniffed, his nose red.

“I. . . I don’t know,” he cried, unable to meet your gaze. “It felt so good, I don’t know what happened, I’m so sorry-“

You cut him off. “Hey. Look at me,” you said, and he finally lifted his eyes to meet yours. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Lee.” You paused, trying to come up with the best way to explain this to him. “When you cum, Lee,” you continued, “your brain releases tons of endorphins, and sometimes that makes people cry. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay?”

He sniffled again. “Really?”

“Really,” you replied. You pulled him back in for a hug and he once again buried his face in your chest. He took a deep breath. He had to ask.

“Is this. . . Is this a one-time thing? Do you want to just stay friends?” He asked, hoping to God that’s not what you wanted.

You chuckled lightly. “No Lee, I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. I’d love to do this again, maybe go on some dates, if you want to take me.”

He straightened, moving to look at you as his eyes lit up. “Really? You want to go on a date with me?” he asked, almost comically enthusiastic. “I’d love to take you, there’s tons of places I’ve thought of taking you to, there’s this restaurant-“ he cut himself off abruptly, eyes widening as he realized he just let slip he totally had a crush on you and also totally had said crush for a good long while. You laughed.

“I’d love to go to dinner with you, Officer Kennedy,” you replied playfully. He couldn’t help but smile, flashing that crooked grin you loved so much. Then he watched you wince, looking at you curiously with his head tilted to the side like a puppy. You’d felt his cock finally soften, slipping out of you and being followed closely by his cum that was quickly seeping out onto his belly. “Before we do that, though,” you said, “we have got to find some paper towels.”

ZOO WEE MAMA thank y’all for reading! Might write a part 2 where reader gives Leon and intro to *ahem* oral presentation hehe

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Dream world

a/n It's been a hot hot minute since I've written for this man and I missed it so much. I hope you will enjoy it! 🤍

summary: Joel can't seem to let go of the shadows hunting him even in Jackson. After countless of sleepless nights and no remedy for it he finds himself needed even more of your and Ellie's love. Can a night of sleep bring him some clarity?

warnings: mention of pills, sleep deprivation, past trauma, people burning.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Joel was convinced. He had very successfully convinced himself that he was never going to find peace. Not after the outbreak. Not after Sarah. Not after almost taking his own life. Not after the thought of losing Tommy as well. All he had done in the last twenty years was lost. Lose everything he loved. Everything he had worked towards. Everything that he had built. There was nothing. Piece by piece coldly ripped away from Joel's hands.

So when you came around. All smiley and giddy. Joel couldn't help but hate you in some way. When he spotted you across the street helping out an old lady, he couldn't help but curse you silently. Stupid thing, Joel had thought back then. Stupid thing that still felt. How could anyone smile now? After everything. Jole hated himself for thinking about it, but he wanted to drop a dead body at your feet and tell you to throw it into the fire. He wondered if you would be smiling then. But all that faded when his eyes met yours, and you beamed at him. Waving before you turned back to the old lady.

Then Joel spent his days convincing himself that you would never have it in you to care for him. You would never even want to be in the same room as him. Joel had a reputation in QZ. Not only because of his strength, no. Joel was careless. Cold. Cunning. He had no emotion. No empathy. A dead man walking. That's what he was. And yet, when he stumbled upon you in the eating quarters handing out food, he couldn't help but silently beg that you would glance his way.

You were someone Joel could crush in the blink of an eye. He knew all the things he could tell you to make you cry, but for the first time in years, he didn't want to. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Joel got addicted to that smile of yours. He found himself looking for it in the crowds. Drinking his nights away when he didn't. And you two would have probably never actually come within a standing distance of one another if not for the day when you stumbled into the discharge area where they burned the infected ones, the ones who accidentally startled a tired soldier. Just this time, you were far from smiling.

Joel noticed you pushing through the sea of people. Trying to get to the trucks. His feet started moving even before his brain had made a decision. "Let me see her! I need to see her", you shouted straight at the soldier, who was gripping your hand way too firmly for Joel's liking. "Let go, you people killing fuck", you spat at the soldier, and he instantly lifted his hand to hit you, yet it never came. You had flinched away, ready to feel the sting, but no matter the breaths you took, it never came. "Who do you think you are to raise a hand against my wife?", Joel had caught the soldier's hand in midair. Shooting daggers at him. "Pick your bitch and move", Joel leaned closer to him.

Your hand instantly slipped between the two males. Joel might have been all big and scary, but he didn't have a gun, and his finger wasn't on the trigger. "I would pick the word whiskey", Joel snarled before turning to you. "I will need you to trust me", he muttered into your ear as he held onto your shoulders. Your sweet smell filled his senses, making him almost quiver. You simply nodded your head at him. "Let me get you, home love, you need to rest", Joel said much louder so the soldiers that started to gather would hear him.

If Joel would have known that you were going to make him want to be a better man. Want to finally look for the light instead of sending people to eat their shit, he would have never believed it. But with every day that you spent by his side, he felt like he could live. Not just drowning in endless darkness. You had been the first person to show him kindness, to see him for him. You didn't judge. You embraced him as he was. You were the first reason why Joel Miller wanted to stay alive.

When Ellie quite literally fell from the doorway into your life, Joel's initial reaction was refusal. He didn't need anyone else; he had you, and that was enough. This kid would be a burden. Unnecessary use of resources. And Joel was already so scared. So scared of losing you. No, he refused to let that thought even linger. Joel knew somewhere deep down that no matter his guards, Ellie would find a way to slither in. She would find a way, and then he would have so much more to lose. So much could be taken away from him.

But one look at you. The way you helped the girl up. The way she jerked away from you, pushing you away. Joel was about to interfere. Was a step away from pressing a gun to Ellie's head when you carefully lifted your hand. Showing it to Ellie as if she was a stray animal that you were trying to get familiar with your scent. Then brush your fingers through her messy hair, stopping to pick a piece of dirt from it. "Just figured you wouldn't want to walk with that in your hair", you said softly, smiling at the girl slightly. Ellie said nothing. But from the way something in her eyes glimmered, Joel knew that your magical touch had made an impact on the girl the same way that it had transformed him.

Jackson could not be real. It just couldn't. From the moment you had made your way there and the initial euphoria of reuniting with Tommy had worn off, Joel just couldn't stop thinking. How? Where was the catch? Were they going to come and take you away while he slept? Where are they also eating their people? It was too good to be true. With so much darkness still around the world, what was the likelihood that right here? Right in this little town, a seed of light grew.

No matter what he did, Joel couldn't settle. He loved seeing you and Ellie finally get to experience nice things. He loved watching Ellie look at the animals and crops that she hadn't seen before with her big eyes. He loved how the tension had vanished from both of your shoulders. How the light sounds of laughter filled the tiny house. How you sang along, teaching Ellie the melodies from the pre-pandemic era. How you two danced in the middle of the living room, both in Joel's shirts, socks on as you slipped around the floor.

Home. This was home. Or at least was supposed to be. Joel knew he should just accept it. But, no. You were home. Ellie was home. Not this place. And God doom him, Joel couldn't understand why he felt a million times more content in the middle of the woods with a gun in his hands guarding you and Ellie while you slept, cuddling together in a sleeping bag than here. There was no peace here for him, no rest. Every sound at night made him jump up. He walked back and forth from your bedroom to Ellie's. Over and over and over again. What ifs clouding his mind.

Of course, you were quick to notice. Never being a deep sleeper yourself, you felt every movement at night. It broke your heart to see the dark circles getting darker and darker under his eyes. The frown set in deeper. You tried to just hold him and let him lie practically on top of you. Let him feel your heart beating. Let him ground himself at least a little. It had helped Joel get a couple of hours of sleep for the first few days, but then back it went. You pulled a mattress in so that Ellie could sleep in the same room as you two. She gave you a puzzled look at first, growling about how the last thing she wanted was to listen to you two having sex, which had led to you pushing her playfully into the mattress. But that didn't seem to help as well. Joel just sat there between the bed and the mattress the whole night. Watching. Monitoring. Waiting.

Ellie herself wasn't worried about this, nor did she notice it until you brought it up and until she saw the worry lacing your face. Her world was made up of you and Joel. Your well-being, both physical and emotional, was vital for her. Most of your moods rubbed off on her. Any frustration and fearfulness were quick to cripple her.

"Is it really bad?", she asked you one evening, slumping onto the sofa right beside you. You just shook your head slightly. "What is it?", "The situation with Joel", Ellie said firmly. A part of you wanted to deny your worries. The last thing you wanted was to worry Ellie, even if deep down you could tell that she had picked up on the situation. "He's worried, and I just — I just don't know how to help him", you said, taking a shaky breath, rethinking it all. "I went to a doctor this morning, and she said they would look for some pills to help with it, but… What do we do till then?"

Helpless. You looked helpless. Ellie was quick to cuddle into your side. Wrapping her arms around you the same way she had seen Joel do so many times. Warmth. Comforting warmth was all she could offer you, and Ellie was hoping that it would be enough for you. Enough to at least keep you going. Your arms wrapped around the girl, bringing her closer to your body. "We will make sure he eats well. That will keep his body going", you muttered, and Ellie was quick to nod her head. "Joel loves a bit of roasted dinner. We could make that", a small smile tugged across your face. Ellie's ability to catch on to little things always made you smile. Just like Joel, most of the time her love language didn't revolve around touching or words of affirmation. She was attentive with her actions. Two scoops of sugar in your morning tea; a scarf hung on too tightly to Joel's winter coat so that he wouldn't forget it. "Yeah, we should make that tonight", you said, placing a loving kiss on Ellie's head before you two headed toward the kitchen.

When Joel stepped through the arched kitchen door, the table was already set. Ellie was pouring the sauce into the little dish, with you closely supervising her. Itching to take the hot dish from her hands. Scared that she might end up burning herself by accident. Joel wanted to smile. Wanted to feel a thread of relief, but all there was tiredness.

"Oh, good. You're back. Wash up and come sit down. I'll get a plate ready for you", you said, stepping closer to the older Miller and reaching up to place a loving kiss on his still-cold cheek. "I'm not hungry; you two eat", Joel said blandly, turning to go upstairs, but your hand quickly reached out to stop him. "It's been a long day, and we made your favorite", you tried again, turning to Ellie, who nodded her head, "And even opened a jar of cranberry sauce". But Joel only let out a frustrated sigh, running his hand over his face. "Joel, come on, you…", but you were quickly cut off by his booming voice, "Y/N, I'm not in the mood for this. Eat and just…", but Joel himself didn't finish his sentence. Waving a dismissive hand toward you two as he stepped out of the kitchen.

You bit down on your lip as the tears started to flood your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. You felt Ellie nuzzle into your side the moment Joel disappeared. Her own sad eyes looked at your tear-stained cheeks. You managed to give her a slight smile, brushing some of the hair away from her face. "Let's still fix him a plate. I'll bring it up to him just in case", you said, with an aching chest, as you moved towards the tray of roasted potatoes and vegetables. Hoping and praying that Joel was still going to take a bite or two.

The house was quiet for the rest of the night. Joel didn't come down. You knew he wasn't asleep because you could hear him passing upstairs. You and Ellie went through some of her homework. Getting ahead of her reading tasks since she found them the most challenging. You caught her watching you more than once. Little stolen glasses as if she was always monitoring you. Just in case your eyes glossed over again. Just in case she would need to give you another hug. So she would be right there. And you let her. After a couple of dismissals. Instead of telling her not to worry, you just let Ellie do her thing, knowing that she found comfort in it.

When you two got upstairs to get ready for the night, Joel was sitting on the bed. Head buried in his hands. So lost in his mind that he didn't even hear you and Ellie walking in. Only when you told her to get her night clothes ready did Joel lift his head. The fact that Ellie didn't even look his way as she walked past him made Joel's heart hurt. He couldn't have her, or you hate him. No, if you hated him, it would give you a reason to leave. He didn't want you to leave.

"I ate it. It was delicious", Joel said quietly, gesturing to the empty plate. Ellie went to the bathroom without a second glance, and you nodded your head. "I'll wash it up", you reached for the plate, but Joel caught your wrist, bringing it closer to his lips. "I'm sorry for snapping, it's just..", "I know. It's okay", you said quietly, but Joel shook his head. "This doesn't give me a reason to take it out on you two". Stepping closer to you, Joel wrapped his arms around your shoulders, bringing you closer to his chest.

"I just worry about you so much. We both do", you admitted, feeling your bottom lip start to quiver, "I can tell that you're struggling, but I don't know how to help you, and it kills me". A choked-out sob slipped past your lips. You felt guilty for crying. Guilty of making this about yourself in a way. "I just…", Joel rasped out himself, "So many thoughts, and I can't seem to find a way to calm down". You lifted your head from his chest, meeting his eyes. His heart was beating beneath your palm. "I… you…", Joel shook his head; speaking out his emotions was always a struggle for him. "You don't have to talk about it all tonight", you reassured him quickly. "Just know that we are here for you. Always". With a slight nod, Joel rested his forehead on yours, breathing you in.

You stood there in your lover's arms until Ellie came back. Then, with a little kiss on his chest, you slipped out to wash up yourself, leaving Joel and Ellie together. Still drying your hair, you walked back to the bedroom. Stopping in your track at the sight of the two of them giggling quietly. Ellie was in the bed beside Joel, pressed against his chest. Both of them had their hands stretched toward the ceiling. Ellie was trying to reach Joel's fingers, but her hand was way shorter than Joel's. She was desperately trying to pull at Joel's wrist, but his hand didn't budge. "You're cheating", she mumbled, "I'm not; it's not my fault you have baby T-Rex arms". Ellie let out a scoff, pinching the skin on Joel's arm in frustration. But her frown was quickly replaced by a smile when Joel grasped her wrist, making her slightly pull away from the mattress with a laugh.

"You are both children", you murmured, sitting on the other side of the bed. Joel's hand instantly moved to caress your hip. "Joel is returning to the dipper stage", Ellie teased again. "You'll be returning to the mattress soon", Joel threatened her, but the two burst out into a laugh almost immediately. You shook your head, yet the warmth that grew in your chest was hard to hide. You were happy that Ellie had found a way to reach Joel. They were so similar. They understood each other better than anyone could. Cuddling into Joel, you reached out your hand to Ellie. Joel let out a yawn, and you and Ellie locked eyes. Maybe with you both in his arms, he was finally going to sleep through the night.

Joel woke up with a jolt. A bright ray of sunshine was shining through the window, making him quickly cover his face. His head felt fuzzy. In a way lighter but then also so heavy. As if I had been drinking a night away yesterday. Yet even a hangover seemed less brutal than this. Joel was never a fan of the morning, and this only proved why. His arms suddenly felt empty. He could swear he had fallen asleep with you and Ellie in his arms last night. Stroking both of your hair. Listening to Ellie's light snores and loving the feeling of the warmth seeping into him. Joel reached out across the bed blindly, the sun still way too bright for his eyes. But all he was met with was coldness. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Was it a dream? Had something happened? Had he missed it?

Quickly sitting up, Joel looked around the room. His heart started to beat fast and fast. There was no sign of you or Ellie—nothing. There was no evidence of your being here in the same bed last night. Joel swung his legs over the edge. He needed to find you. Needed to see. "Y/N", he choked out, hands pressing onto his chest that seemed to grow tighter with every passing minute. The corridor was as empty as the room. Joel grabbed for the bathroom handle but found no one there. The ringing in his ears grew louder. "El", he called out again, "Y/N". His shaky hand gripped the railing, and the few sets of steps down seemed like a lifeline to him. "No, no, no", the fear was the only thing in his body now.

You thought you were the first to wake up, surprised to be still laying on Joel's chest. Ellie was quietly laying on her back while she played with Joel's fingers. Your stirring caught her attention as she turned to beam at you, "I think he slept through the night", she whispered. You nodded your head, putting your finger against your mouth. You were determined to make sure that Joel slept for as long as possible. Who knew if the next night he was going to find a peaceful slumber? You carefully moved his arms away from your body. Ellie quickly followed the lead. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?", she asked you when you two were out in the corridor, and the door to the bathroom was already closed. "Pancakes?", you asked, earning a fist pump from Ellie. "Fucking pancakes", she chirped, rushing down the stairs.

It was truly a magnificent morning. It's been a while since the sun has been this bright. You even cracked open some of the windows. Ellie was smiling to herself as she dried out the dishes. You two didn't talk much. It didn't feel necessary. Your head jerked to the side once the sound of footsteps came through the hallway. Yet the smile died out the moment the gasps of air followed suit. You dropped the spatula to the side as you rushed toward the sound.

Joel was leaning against the wall. His head hung low as he gripped the left side of his chest. These panic-like attacks have been happening for a while now. They scared you to death, but the doctor said that his heart was healthy, or as healthy as it could be, given his age and everything that had happened. You reached for him in an instant, making him jump back. "Joel,", you called out, and he practically leaped into your arms, pulling you into him. "Oh, thank God, thank God", he cried. You frowned slightly but let him embrace you regardless. "Are you hurt? Did something happen? Where is Ellie?", Joel's head jerked up as he scanned the room. Ellie stood a couple of feet away from him. Joel reached out his hand toward her, and she instantly moved closer. His breathing eased up. Right here in his arms. Not dead. Not taking anything away from him.

"Is everything okay?", Ellie asked quietly. You expected Joel to say nothing. Understanding his need for space and time, but to your surprise, he did speak up, "I thought I lost you. I thought I finally failed you", you looked up at him straight away. The silent tears were rolling down his cheeks. "I'm just so scared I won't be able to… keep you safe. Make sure that…" Joel said, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. "You're full of shit", Ellie stated, stepping away from him, "You've been here since day one; nothing changed". You wanted to warn her about the words she used, but then again, she was right. "Joel, you brought us here. You can rest a bit now", you reassured him, but he shook his head. "What if something happens while I sleep? What if I can't stop it?", "In our house? In a town that's surrounded by a huge fence?", Ellie cut in again.

You cupped Joel's face carefully, turning his face towards you so he would look into your eyes, "It's okay to still be scared. Fuck, I don't think it's possible to get back to any kind of normality after the last twenty years, but…", you fought the lump that started to form in your throat as you leaned closer to Joel, "But you're going to be okay, we all are going to be okay. Because we're a family. There's nothing we can't accomplish together".

And then it all came crashing down. With a loud sob, Joel fell to his knees, and you sank alongside him. Arms, not letting go of him even for a moment. Ellie stepped beside him, her head resting on his back as she too fought her tears. You let him cry. You may have burst into a silent sob somewhere along the way yourself. Everyone had the scars they carried. Some were deeper than others. Struggling to heal. Struggling to see the light. It was easy to give up. Fighting was a whole other story. But once you found people who made you want to live, who you had to live for, giving up wasn't an option, and that was so scary.

"I love you both", Joel whispered after some time. You brushed his last tears away, smiling at him. "Well, I also love you, but you better start talking about your emotions, or I'll eat your pancakes", Ellie warned him, nuzzling into his chest. Joel let out a chuckle, "You're starting to sound like Y/N". You gasped slightly, shifting closer to them both, "You'll lose your space in the bed too, not just pancakes".

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TLOU taglist: @theslytherinwriter @daddysfavoritesexkitten @randomstory56 @woofgocows @ohthemisssery

[writingmeraki]

blood red strings.

a lee heeseung drabble !

genre : angst, action!au , spy!au, soulmate!au.

pairing : lee heeseung x gn!reader, enemies to ?, secret pining.

warnings : descriptions of blood, weapons, injuries, bruises, death, murder. cussing ( I think that's about it ) not proofread/edited.

author's note : idk. thas the only explanation I have for this. :D it was supposed to be short but oh well. oh fucking well. enjoy and let me know what you think !! Inspired by a pic I saw of two people point a gun at each other and a red string being formed ( I can't find it :< ) also my ENHYPEN DEBUT!! WOO FINALLY!!! I imagined Heeseung in this and I just went along with the flow because I legit could not get spy!hee out of my brain...... maybe I do love this more than I should and maybe I might end up making this a full fic ha. oh welp enjoy 😆😆😆😆😆 also other works will be uploaded soon ( the ones I've promised I know you have been waiting for a while 😭 ) edit : THE TYPOS ESP THE FUCKUNG ONE I WANT TO KAY EM ES.

word count : 2.3K

You felt it before you could see it.

The pain shot up your entire body, alarming your brain before you could see what caused it. Otherwise you would have even been able to dodge the cause.

Said cause smirked at you, as much as you'd rather burn yourself than to ever admit it, he looked annoyingly handsome, despite his own condition not being better than yours.

A cool breeze passed through the late night, typically a time when everyone would be sleeping peacefully in their beds, you'd like to think you would be too but you knew that wishing a peaceful night's sleep was as good as thinking a bullet shot would not hurt.

Both are far too different from how reality was.

Your knuckles ached, torn and ripped skin bleeding out. The right side of your face hurt, being punched twice was probably the reason. Your stomach hurt too, having been thrown against the concrete floor of the terrace not an ideal place to land was probably it.

Lucky for you, the adrenaline flowing through you, made it feel as though none of the aches actually affected you. Sort of distracting you from even thinking about how much it actually hurts.

Dodging another punch, you swiftly kicked Heeseung's leg, making him lose control himself for a moment, a moment you knew to never miss and you turned around hurdling another kick at his side.

His groans of pain indicated the impact of your blows as it was now your turn to be smug with him as you smiled in satisfaction.

"Aww did that hurt you?" Crossing your arms at him, as he laid on the ground for the briefest of moments, jaw clenching and shutting his eyes to take a deep breath, irritation growing within him when he heard your taunting.

Standing up while trying not to fall down again, his back now faced you.

Clicking his tongue, you couldn't see the anger in his eyes. He had enough.

"Let's just put an end to this pathetic game. It's getting tiring and frankly I have better things to do."

He didn't want to get into what he was actually sent there to do. He knew he would have do to it, but somehow, he wanted to stall it as much as he could.

And now this was the consequence of the stalling, his own state being terrible.

Scoffing at him, you raised an eyebrow,

"As if I have time to waste on you." You spat, venom laced words at him as you scanned his back, more than you should as you took in how broad his shoulders were from the way the black suit blazer stretched across them.

Without wasting a moment, Heeseung grabbed his gun from the holster that was under his shirt. Pulling it out, he swiftly turned around, now facing you.

"Well then, you won't have any time at all it seems." He pointed it at you, raising his own battered hand, his bloody thumb clicking the revolver to load it.

Smirking more widely at his actions, while pulling out your own revolver from your holster under your now maroon shirt, you pointed it at him.

Standing in mirroring positions, guns to your heads, you stared at him directly in the eye.

“It also seems like your time is over, sad how you’d die from the bullet of your worst enemy.”

You found amusement in your statement as your grin shifted to more of a mocking one.

“Darling we’d be dying together, far too romantic don’t you think?” His low voice rang in your ears, glaring at him and you’d excuse the warmth rushing to your cheeks from the mere nickname even though he’d called you way too many over the years of your rivalry as just blood rushing to your head.

Your gaze shifted to the clock tower behind him, the golden roman numerals glinting from the city light, reading the time to have been two minutes to twelve.

Two minutes to your twenty-fifth birthday.

Snorting at the irony of it, you shook your head. You might as well count it as your deathday considering, surely you wouldn’t be spared after this. You both waited for this for too long, having spent almost three years at each other’s throats and you’d be damned if you would let him escape alive as well. One thing you were sure about was you definitely won’t be spared as well.

It was always an eye for an eye and a bullet for a bullet. A death for a death.

It would be exactly twenty five years of your existence if you died today. Not a day more not a day less, a perfect twenty five and in a sickening way you always loved perfect things and this coincidence was no different.

“It would be devastating for you to die before you even meet your poor soulmate.” He grinned at you with a malicious glint and you felt your heart slightly drop at this forgotten reality.

A soulmate you’d never meet. A soulmate whose heart would feel like it would be ripped out before even meeting you. A soulmate who would feel the same thing your mother did when your father was brutally murdered. A soulmate who might spiral into a depression which could even lead into their own death. Just like your own mother.

No. No you couldn't think of this. You couldn't step back from something you'd been trained to do a decade ago. You couldn't. Not for something you found was more of a burden from universe rather than something special like most.

"Lee, if you know me well enough. You know that I don't fucking believe in this shit." You hissed at him biting your tongue, a tendency you did when you lied.

A lie because you did believe they existed, you saw it yourself but the reason it was a burden was because it didn't automatically mean a happy ending, you experienced it, you lived through that alternate ending and saw the toll of it on someone who was supposed to be the most precious person in your life.

"Ah ah ah don't lie now Y/N. You and I both know your pathetic self believes in all of that universally bonded shit." He shifted from holding the gun to his right hand, stepping closer to you and the grip on yours tightened.

"You're saying as though yours will see you alive." You could feel the side of your head aching, a trail of blood dripping all the way to your chin. A drop landing on your new tie dye maroon shirt splattered in dark and light hints of the same.

"I'd rather die while killing you than care about that nonsense. You see, unlike you, I know I'd never have a soulmate." The taunting smirk on his face slightly dimmed because even though Lee Heeseung was true to his words, a small part of his heart was still saddened at the thought of not meeting his supposed other half when he was supposed to.

He recalled his birthday, just a few months from yours, waiting to see if it was finally the year where the universe gave him the supposed greatest gift possible, his other half but no red string of fate showed up on his pinky and he smacked the shit out of Jake when his friend tried to comfort him that maybe his soulmate had also not yet turned twenty five.

Yet. Yet he threw those thoughts out of his mind when he realized what would be the end result of tonight. The end result leading to his own…end.

The loud ticking off the clock grew louder as it neared the twelve mark, indicating a new day, indicating your day.

You deeply inhaled, smiling at your nemesis, taking in the details of his face because well it was the last time you'd ever see him…or anyone probably.

"And oh! How could I forget? It's your birthday isn't it? Here's my little present then."

The clock chimed loudly, the vibrations running through you from the closeness and you tried not to wince from the loudness.

"Happy birthday Love."

Before you could respond to him ;

You saw it before you could feel it.

A dark red thread, looping itself around the pinky of your hand and your eyes widened, no words being able to form from your gaping mouth.

Now you felt the tightening of it. The red string harshly tugged at your pinky as it stretched outwards. It wasn't the only thing that felt suffocating because your throat felt like it closed up as you breathed out heavily.

A loud shot rang in your ears back, your focus still trained on the thread extending itself until it didn't.

It stopped.

Right in front of him.

It stopped in front of Lee fucking Heeseung.

He was frozen, ironically mirroring the same position as you once again but the only difference was the trigger on his gun was pushed backwards.

His eyes followed the movement of the string, pausing and holding his breath as it began to move.

It moved and moved and moved until.

Until it wrapped itself around his wrist.

And then he moved. The gun in his hand fell to the ground as he felt the dark red string tighten on his wrist.

You screamed out in pain before you could even comprehend what happened. Only now feeling the shot to your chest. The gun in your hand slipping from your grasp to the ground.

In your own stupor you didn't even realise you'd launched a few steps backwards, an impact caused by the bullet shot, now dropping to your knees as you put your hand to your chest.

Now it was his turn to feel it before he could see it, see you.

Heeseung felt it before he saw you, grabbing his own chest, feeling as though someone ripped his heart out.

"No…no, this…this can't be happening!" He coughed out as he tried to ease the pain in his chest, tears welling up in his eyes.

You sobbed out pathetically as you tried to put pressure on your chest to stop the bleeding.

Heeseung's gaze turned towards you and before he knew it, he gave into the string pulling him towards you as he rushed to you, dropping on his knees when he reached you.

"You…could have waited for one fucking minute you-" You spat out as you shut your eyes, not being able to even sit up straight, letting yourself fall forward.

A few minutes ago, he would have rejoiced at your state but now…in the matter of one sick twisted cosmic joke, he felt like his heart was being gutted while he held you in his arms.

"I…didn't. I didn't know I just…I didn't even think it could ever be…you." He didn't know what to do as he tried to think of something to do, what he could possibly do.

It wasn't like he was any better, he could feel the pain you were feeling only yours was actually there while his was more due to your freshly fated bond.

He laid you down on his lap, pulling off his blazer, bunching it up and pressing it to your chest.

You laughed humorlessly at his words, "Well it wasn't like I was expecting my soulmate to be you."

You let the tears flow as you looked up at him, pressing your hands on his own. The sparks flowing through you like an electric shock and for a moment right there, you could see why they described holding hands with your soulmates was exactly how you felt. An electric spark.

"Maybe this was how it's meant to be. For me to die, ultimately in your arms, my best enemy and my…only soulmate." You smiled at him, your tears glistening your cheeks. The most devastating part being your smile was a genuine one from the sincerity in your eyes.

He let out the whimper he'd been holding back, his own tears mixing with the blood on his face, and oh, he looked like a messy art piece, one that was only meant for you to look at in your final moments.

"No, I…please don't. It hurts, I can't…" His words came out in broken whispers, contrasting his past self who promised he'd rather jump into a lake full of sharks than to ever beg you.

"Didn't you say it would be romantic if we died together? Well then, Romeo and Juliet be damned." You jocked around, coughing as you learnt that trying to laugh when you have a bullet in your chest wasn't the most ideal.

Heeseung glared at you as he clenched his molars in anger, cursing at himself.

He wished and oh he fucking wished he waited one minute. Maybe then, maybe then he'd be able to change his perspective on you. A perspective that was already there, buried deep in the lockers of his mind, in folders of memories he had with you, how he saw you, how he thought of you.

A perspective he longed to think of since he met you but alas reality was far too different.

"And I never said thank you for you gift did I?" You grinned widely at him,

"Don't…just no." He whispered in such a soft tone that you were probably hearing for the first time in your life.

"Thank you Heeseung." You could feel the weight of the world in your eyes, moments of your entire twenty five years flashing like a film, some the happiest and some the most tragic ones.

It proved to you a question you'd asked yourself when you were 14, whether indeed a person's entire life flashes when they die. And now you got your answer first hand, nearly a decade later.

"And oh…fuck you." You whispered out as you felt lighter than ever and then, it was all over.

Over for you. Over for him.

A soulmate who he never thought existed, taken from him cruelly before he could even see the string turn a brighter shade of red, a shade that indicated true love.

A soulmate who he himself ended.

Indeed. What a devastating reality.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2023

links ! : main navigation | enhypen masterlist

[fushiglow]

sooooo @thisisallaikiss posted some star wars au art that altered my brain chemistry over on twitter and this was the result... so... i think i'm writing a star wars au now 💫

people underestimated the force (lol) of my star wars nerdery but they STILL BULLIED ME INTO THIS so please blame them if i'm slow to update my idol au now 😃 enjoy the wip!!

i'm running away now 🏃

Darkness clung to the man like a great shadow, rolling off the Force user in noxious waves that were almost stifling. He was strong — by far the strongest darksider Megumi had ever encountered. His presence alone felt like despair and the young Padawan thought he would have drowned in it, if not for the light pouring off the Jedi Master at his side. Master Gojō was always a beacon in the Force, but he burned impossibly brighter then, cutting through the shadow that surrounded them like a warm knife through Bantha butter. When those tendrils of hopelessness brushed up against his consciousness, Megumi felt the need to meditate — to cling to the light with everything he was — but Master Gojō was seemingly impervious to the affliction that ailed his Padawan. There were rumours of darkness in Master Gojō. There were rumours that he was sentimental in a way that was dangerous for a Force user of his stature. There were rumours that some members of the Jedi Council considered him a threat to the Order. Looking at his Master then, Megumi thought they were simply afraid of him, because the man was ablaze with light. Not for the first time, the Padawan wondered why Gojō Satoru had chosen Megumi as his apprentice. The Jedi was simply radiant — so radiant that the dark couldn’t even get close to him; bright and brilliant like the grin on his lips. It didn’t stop Megumi’s heart from sinking— —because why the kriff was Master Gojō grinning? ‘Well, well, well!’ came the Jedi Master’s voice, as if in answer. ‘Would you look what the Lesser Lantillian spat out!’ The man’s shoulders tensed a little, but rather than seeming petrified by the prospect of facing down the greatest Jedi in galactic history, he simply looked pained by the pitch and volume of Master Gojō’s voice. Against all the odds, Megumi found he could relate to the guy. The darksider inclined his head in their direction, more a jerk than a nod, and some of the silky black hair that wasn’t secured in a knot at the crown of his head fell forward over his broad shoulders. It was somewhat mesmerising to watch, the way those onyx locks danced around his features like the shadows that danced at his back. Glancing at the shock of stark white hair atop his Master’s head, Megumi almost laughed — would have laughed if his vocal cords weren’t seized with fear. It was just that the pair of them made for such emphatic embodiments of their respective polarities in the Force that it was actually comical. It seemed unimaginative, somehow. ’Master Gojō,’ the man said stiffly. Unlike Megumi, his Master had no trouble summoning a laugh — a loud, grating thing that bounced off the temple walls. It was unbecoming on a Jedi and, though he should have been used to it, Megumi found himself wincing in synchronisation with the darksider standing before them. ‘Master Gojō now, is it?’ At the Jedi Master’s taunt, the man’s eyes flickered across to Megumi. The Padawan froze under the malevolent weight of that gaze, but he saw no violent red staining those golden irises. Not a Sith then. Huh. ‘Well then, Lord Getō.’ Master Gojō dragged out the sounds, sarcasm dripping from every single syllable. ‘Why don’t you hand over the holocron so we can all go on our merry way?’

[southsideserendipity]

Can u write an imagine with Kelly ? Where Yn father is an alcoholic and she hasn’t talked to him in years and he just turns up to the firehouse and stalks her ? X

Drunk & Disorderly (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Synopsis: Your alcoholic father shows up at the firehouse, persistent on making amends.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of throwing up, violence, swearing, drunk driving, Kelly being protective AF <3.

Word Count: 4k

“Shay, we are never drinking that much the night before a shift again” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation.

“Oh cmon, Y/N, we can handle a lil hangover” she joked with you. “Besides, wasn’t that drinking game fun?” She asked you the question in a suggestive tone, wiggling her eyebrows in the process. 

“I’m not sure, I can’t exactly remember last night’s events too well” you giggled, trying to rack your brain for a hint as to how the night played out.

“Well what I remember extremely vividly is you and Severide not being able to stop flirting with each other.” Shay said this without taking her eyes off of the road, but you knew she wasn’t as annoyed as she was making herself out to be. She loved the idea of the 2 people she loved the most getting together. 

“I can’t confirm or deny my actions or the events that occurred last night” you led in a serious note, trying to cover up your high-school-like crush on Severide in a playful manner.

“Oh just fuck him already, Y/N! Blame it on the alcohol!” Shay encouraged, using her hands to help communicate the message. “I know you like him, and who’s to say he doesn’t want you. You’re a hot piece of ass!” she questioned.

You chuckled at her flirtatious comment. “I’m not sure Shay, you would know the most given the fact that you live with him, wouldn’t you? Has he said anything to you??” You questioned, suddenly becoming very invested in the conversation and her response. You had made comments to Shay about how hot Severide is, but you’ve never fully expressed your interest in him.

“My lawyer says no further comment” Shay responds, zipping the imaginary zipper on her lips and throwing the key. 

“Oh cmon, Shay!! Help a girl out” you moaned in defeat, knowing that what the 2 roommates discuss is not for you to know. 

Shay was actually the person who got you and Kelly close to begin with. Being that you and her were ambulance partners, you went over to their place a lot, so you see him just as much as you see her (pretty often). 

“He may or may not have said some things about you, but that’s all I can say!” Shay spat out the sentence, picking up the speed as it went on, as if the faster she said it the less of a chance Kelly was to find out. 

“Oh this conversation isn’t over" you responded, pointing your finger. You weren’t ready to drop the topic anytime soon, but you were back at the firehouse. 

Before you could pester her with more interrogations, you saw a figure as she was pulling into 51.

“Who is that? He’s standing in the middle of the ambulance bay!” Shay exclaimed, confused that her driveway was being blocked. 

You squinted your eyes, confident that they were playing tricks on you based on who you were registering to be there. Once Shay had driven as close as she could without running them over, you knew without a doubt who the person standing before you was.

“My dad” you spat angrily, upset that this was your current reality; that a member of your toxic family had followed you to the one good thing in your life. 

You were both frozen in the ambulance; you, unsure how to avoid conversation with your father, and Shay confused as to how she can help you. 

You got out of the ambulance and began making your way inside, pretending that your dad was an invisible man and that his presence had no effect on you. Shay followed suit. 

When you walked past him you heard him scoff, and he threw his hands up in the air, resembling confusion.

“You’re just gonna walk past me. No ‘Hi dad, how are you. Long time no see.’” You couldn’t believe what you just heard, but once you partially processed it, you decided that this was indeed your battle to pick today.

You had moved to Chicago from Toronto after applying to the academy, deciding that between your narcissistic and emotional abusive mother, and your alcoholic dad, it was time to leave: not to run away, but to survive. 

Your older brother is a firefighter in Toronto, and you easily could’ve gotten you a job at his firehouse, but you had always loved Chicago and decided to bite the bullet. It was time for a change. 

“You have some nerve.” Slowly turning around to face him, you tried to keep yourself from seeing red. He didn’t deserve to know he got a reaction from you. “…Showing up at my place of work unexpectedly, and expecting me to give you the time of day.” 

“I just want to talk, Y/N.” You started hysterically laughing once you heard what he had said, the anger presenting itself through laughter. Your father was confused as to why you were reacting this way, and quite frankly, so was Shay. She had never seen you so upset.

“Get out of my firehouse. You don’t deserve to be here” you pointed towards the street, urging him to get out of your sight. 

“Y/N just hear me out. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been so long and I just want to be a part of your life again. Things are different now.” He scratched the back of his neck, a hint of nervousness evident. 

You could hear the sounds of squad and truck rumbling down the street from afar, and you knew that you needed your dad to leave before the entire house got back. 

“Yeah things sure as hell are different, I left before I literally suffocated in that house, and you couldn’t give a rats ass where I ended up. Until apparently today, a random Saturday morning 2 YEARS after I spoke to you last. I want you to leave, NOW. And don’t make me escalate this situation.” You were sick of people walking all over you- blood-related or not, and you weren’t going to have any of this. Especially not in front of your 51 family.

By the time you finished your spiel, truck and squad were both parked and beginning to filter out, undressing from their turnover gear.

Severide hopped out, pulling his turnover gear down to his waist. He was wearing his lieutenant shirt with suspenders, and his squad 3 baseball cap. He would take quick glances over to you, not wanting to make it obvious that he was eavesdropping. 

“I’m not going anywhere until you decide to give me another chance. Until you let me make things up to you” he pleaded, reeking of desperation. 

At this point, people’s attentions were getting grabbed, and heads were turning over to observe the interaction.

“I gave you 1 too many chances, and I’m done. I’m not too sure how you didn’t get the hint that I want nothing to do with you when I moved countries, but I’m now verbally letting you know that this relationship is over.” 

At this point, a few members of 51 had filtered into the lounge, knowing that they probably weren’t meant to hear what was going down. Others took their sweet time getting undressed, most likely because they were trying to keep an eye on you.

Severide continued to tune into the conversation, always having an urge to protect you against harm’s way. He didn’t know much about the situation given that you kept your past very secretive, but recognizing what an abusive father is like, he stood near.

“Cmon, Y/N, you’ve always been so damn stubborn. Do you really need to act like this when I’m trying to prove to you I can be better?” Your dad was genuinely curious as to how you could be so cutthroat towards him, as if his drinking didn’t ruin the first 2 decades of your life.

Shay shot Severide a look that read ‘what do we do?’. 

“I don’t think you need to prove anything to her. It’s pretty clear you’re not a part of her life and that she wants it to stay that way.” You didn’t expect to hear Kelly’s voice from behind you all of a sudden. “Kel, it’s okay. I got this.” You felt a mix between wanting him to stand up for you, and proving that you can fight your own battles. He stepped closer towards you, and Shay took a couple of steps back, knowing you had even extra protection now. 

“And who are you?” your father asked, not breaking eye contact with you. His hands were placed on his hips, and by his body language, it was evident that he was not leaving without a fight. 

“Lieutenant Severide of 51, and respectfully, I’m asking you to leave my firehouse” Severide stated in a calm but straightforward manner. He crossed his arms and waited intently. 

Your dad chuckled in what seemed to be astonishment. “Sleeping your way to the top, very typical of you Y/N. I thought you would’ve changed your ways by now” your dad scoffed. 

You were beyond pissed off that he was even here right now, but that comment officially made your blood boil. Thinking about what you could possibly say in response, your dad decided to speak up once again.

“Let me ask you, how long have you been fucking my daughter, lieutenant?” He said the last word as if it was dirty. 

Kelly stepped right up to your father as if he had no fears in the world, something you wish you could’ve warned him about before doing. You were grateful your dad appeared to be sober, because if he had come inebriated, a brawl would’ve already broke out between them.

“Y/N has been nothing but a talented paramedic with a great amount of expertise in her field. She‘s proven time and time again that she’s a necessary addition to this team, and deserves to be here- she did that all by herself, no thanks to you. Now get out of my firehouse before the chief gets back and this gets worse for you.” 

You were absolutely blown away by Severide’s words, unaware of his thoughts regarding your time at 51. He managed to respond to your father’s comment in a professional yet serious way, and he did it with ease, appearing completely unbothered with confrontation. He was still face to face with your father, not ready to back down for nothing and no one. 

“Whatever.” Your dad hadn’t let Kelly escape his gaze for even a millisecond. “I came here as part of my 12 steps anyways. Step 9: Make amends” your dad said with a smirk. 

Despite not wanting to hear your father out for anything he had to say, the fact that he was here for his benefit, and not out of sincerity, was your final straw.

It took you a second to even fathom the possibility that he came here for selfish reasons, but once you did, you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You lunged at him and began unleashing. “FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Now you seriously only saw red. While you were attempting to physically release all of your pain onto him, you felt Severide grab onto your waist and rip you off of your father. 

Your arms and legs were still thrashing about, despite your father being away from your grasp. “Come here, get off of him. It’s okay.” Severide tried to console you, but you were absolutely furious. 

“Y/N! Enough, he’s not worth it!!!” You heard Shay shouting from behind you. 

Once Severide knew you were done putting up a fight, he planted you back on the floor. You adjusted the stray hairs that had fallen all over your face and began to catch your breath. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Casey shouted from across the apparatus, walking over with his arms out in question. “Is everything okay?” He glanced between Severide - who looked like he was about to punch a wall, his jaw clenched- and you. 

“Nothing, he’s just leaving.” You said while trying to catch your breath, and resisting the urge to fight once again. 

Your father must’ve thought Casey was the chief, because he put his arms up in surrender, and turned on his heels. 

You immediately went into the driver’s seat of the ambulance to fully park it into the bay, as if your father were never here. 

Kelly put his hands on his hips, hanging his head low and then glancing back up towards Shay and Casey, squinting at them. He knew what it was like when family troubles came into the firehouse, so he felt for you. He didn’t like to see you upset, even though his feelings for you haven’t been confessed. 

“Who was that?” Casey asked, looking between Shay and Severide as if the answer lay between them. Severide gave him a ‘I’ll tell you later look’, motioning towards you with his eyes. 

Once you had parked, you opened the ambulance doors and began doing inventory. This was always how you distracted yourself against your mental struggles; pouring yourself into your job (and vodka into shot glasses). 

Severide knew you were going to say you were fine if he asked - even though you weren’t - so he gave you space. Severide and Casey headed into the firehouse, and Shay joined you in the back. She sat down on the stretcher and looked at you hesitantly. 

“Let’s just get through the rest of this shift, Shay” you looked at her, feeling her eyes burning into you with concern. She nodded in agreement. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh myyy- Shay!!!!!! Do you remember that call- that- that” you couldn’t even get the words out, your drunken self barely able to comprehend reality. You completely forgot what you were saying because you were trying very hard to focus on pouring your shot. 

You had went back to Shay and Severide’s place after work, ready to get fucked up and forget about the day’s events.

Once you had finished pouring a - very large - shot, you walked back over to the couch to continue your story. “Kel, you’re going to pee your pants when you hear this.” You looked over at him and he nodded, anticipating your story. What your beer goggles were concealing was the look of concern on his face.

He was leaning back into the couch, one arm around the back of it. His other hand held a bottle of beer, which he had barely taken a sip out of- intentionally staying sober given your altered state. 

Shay got up as soon as you made it to the couch, grabbing the vodka bottle from the counter in an attempt to hide it. Severide saw what she was doing and attempted to distract you. “Okay, tell me this story Y/N” he chuckled, motioning you to sit down and face him. 

“I need more alcohol in order to get this out” you chuckled in response, clinking your shot glass against his very full beer - causing both your drinks to spill - and sending your head flying back to down the Ciroc. Severide rubbed your back when you were done- seeing the look on your face he knew it couldn’t of gone down well.

It’s not that they wanted you to get to these state of drunken toxicity- they didn’t want to send you in spiral by telling you to stop. You were a party girl, but they had never seen you get to this point. 

“Shay! Shay, I’m about to tell the story” you eagerly called her over, your hands signalling that you wanted her to come closer. 

The sudden eager movements you made caused the room to spin, despite you being seated, and you felt a wave of nausea. “You okay?” Shay asked, walking over as you had asked, and immediately noticing the pale look on your face. 

“I’m-” you were interrupted by a burp, and the urge to spill your stomach’s content. “I’m fine- help me tell this story” you giggled, ignoring the sick feeling. If you paid too much attention to it, you knew it would make you feel worse. 

“And what story is that, Y/N” Shay looked over to you, a smile on her face as she brushed a stray hair out of your face. She was worried about her best friend, and she could tell that Severide was too. 

“A coupl- Oh god” You didn’t even hesitate, you just made a run for the closest bathroom, knowing it was inevitable. You made it to Kelly’s en-suite and un-ate the pizza slices you had a few hours before. Kelly immediately ran after you, seeing you crouched next to the toilet bowl. He knelt down to gather your hair in his hands and began to softly rub your back. “It’s okay” he whispered soothly.

Shay was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom with a glass of water. She leaned over and handed it to Kelly, who encouraged you to drink your first non-alcoholic/ caffeinated beverage of the day. “Here love. Drink this.” He held up the cup to your lips, helping your weak body to drink. 

The sudden influx of liquid triggered your stomach to un-eat a second time. Severide was right behind you the entire time, making sure your hair was out of your face. “Can you wet this Shay?” He handed her a face towel from his towel rack, planning to put it on your neck and cool you down. 

Once you were done, you felt absolutely exhausted. You leaned back onto Severide’s chest, your head falling to the side and your eyes closing. He looked at Shay with a look of worry but also relief, knowing that sleeping was a better result than putting yourself at a higher risk for alcohol poisoning.

He picked you up and walked over to his bed, gently placing you in the middle. Grabbing a blanket to drape over you, he made sure you were on your side in case you got sick again. 

Him and Shay both walked out of the bedroom, deciding to let you rest. 

“That was bad, Kelly.” Shay started pacing around, running her hands across her face and through her hair in stress. “I’ve never seen her get like that.” The two friends looked at each other, unaware of how to best support their friend. 

“We have to make sure he never goes near her” Kelly said, looking up at Shay with a look of anger on his face. It was your decision to get that fucked up, but it was ultimately your upbringing and your father’s re-appearance that encouraged the excessive drinking that night. Whoever’s fault, he knew that you would be okay if it weren’t for the guest appearance you had to deal with. 

Shay nodded in agreement. She began to clean up their place, white claws and packs of cigarettes, and rolling papers everywhere. You enjoyed rolling when you were drunk. 

“I’m gonna run by her place, pack her a bag” Severide announced to Shay, who supported the idea.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severide pulled up to your street in his Mustang, reaching for the spare bag he put in his passenger’s seat. He was about to get out until he saw a familiar vehicle he had seen at the firehouse earlier that day- a grey Honda civic. He was almost positive it belonged to your father, because he had watched him leave the firehouse to make sure he had truly left.

He made a phone call. “Hey man.. yeah everything’s okay, I just need you to do me a favour. Can you run this plate? It’s CD 37846.” As soon as Jay confirmed what Severide somehow already knew, he hung up and got out of the car, gunning it for your dad. 

Tapping on the window aggressively with his knuckle, he motioned your father to roll the window down. As soon as it came down, the smell of alcohol flooded his nose. 

“You have 1 minute to drive away, and if you ever come back here, so help me god you’re going to regret it” Kelly spat out, trying to comprehend that this was his reality, and also trying to keep himself from beating your dad to a pulp. 

Your dad chuckled with amusement, laughing at the threat that was made to him. He took a swig from his Whiskey bottle, almost as if to calm him down. “You may tell my daughter what to do, but you sure as hell don’t tell me what to do” your dad looked over at Kelly, making it very clear that he was unfazed by his comment. 

“We’ll see about that” Kelly tapped the window, making his way up your front steps. He didn’t want to give your dad the time of day- he didn’t deserve it. 

“That girl has commitment issues, so I would watch it if I were you. She’s a whore just like her mother, don’t be scared to hit her if she falls out of line.” It didn’t even take your dad finishing his sentence for Kelly to walk back to the car, open the driver door, and drag him out onto the floor. 

He began throwing punches, and couldn’t even make out his surroundings while doing so. All he focused on was how good the anger felt as it seeped out of his skin, blow after blow. The pain his shoulder felt was the least of his concerns. 

The anger completely overtaking him, he didn’t even notice Jay arrived, attempting to disrupt his punching spree. “Kelly! Hey! Stop it, man! Don’t to this.” Kelly was grabbed by Jay, and once he contained his anger he was let go. He spat on the floor right next to your father. 

“Kelly, who is this? What’s going on man?” Jay asked, slapping Kelly’s chest as if to reprimand him. 

“Y/N’s father. He’s stalking her, I don’t even know how he got her address. He was at the firehouse earlier today and wouldn’t leave, he has a bottle of whiskey in his car.” Kelly began pacing around, trying not to look at your father because if he did, he’d want to hurt him even more. “He hits women, Jay. I can only imagine what he’s done to Y/N.” He began pacing around even more once he imagined the possibility of you getting hurt at the hands of your father, the man who was supposed to be your ultimate protector. 

Jay nodded in understanding, thinking about what the next steps are from here. 

“I’ll book him for the bottle, and I’ll say he got into a bar fight. D&D.” Kelly nodded. 

Jay turned your dad over and put cuffs on him, helping him stand up. When they walked over to the cop car, your dad made one last remark.

“That was nothing... I hurt them even worse than that” Your dad showed Kelly a toothy, bloody grin, chuckling in content with what he said. Kelly knew that if he ever saw him again, he couldn’t keep himself from killing him then and there. Jay roughly put him into the back of the car, and slammed the door. 

“I owe you Halstead.” Kelly said, and Jay quickly nodded his head. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kelly returned to the apartment, a bag of your belongings in his hand. He headed straight for the fridge, actually ready (and feening) for some beer. He was glad Shay seemed to be asleep- he didn’t want to discuss the events that just took place.

He opened his bedroom door and peered in. You were laying on your slide sleeping peacefully. He walked over and took a seat right next to you, moving a strand of hair that fell in your field of view out of the way. Caressing your cheek, he thought to himself that his feelings for you were stronger than he had imagined. He ended up falling asleep right next to you- a safe place for you both. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I’m so sorry that took so long! I hope you all enjoyed, and to the person who requested this- thank you, and I hope I met your expectations! This was my first request so that's super exciting. I don’t know if I made Kelly wayyy too protective in this, but I love it just the same. Keep sending in some requests :)  Also, I'm going to try to set up a masterlist, so stay tuned for that.

[salaapaoo]

for the post of what I wanna see: twin krs&cale au but they hate each other initially. just stupid things like krs assuming cale is just some drunktard and cale hating the fact krs wants to slack when there’s a WAR coming.

so they tug each other’s hair, play pranks on each other and try to sabotage everything the other does. BUT. they are the only ones allowed to hate on each other. if one of the twins get insulted or courted the other twin will be SWINGING. regardless of everything they’re still a team dammit.

sure they get to know each other but this rivalry thing they have going on is easier to keep going than admit they actually like their twin.

THINK ABOUT ITTT

If asked about the other, you'd probably receive a roll of the eyes and a scoff in response.

"Hell if I know where that lazy bastard is, probably chasing after that slacker pipe dream like the irresponsible fuck he is." Cale would bite out, his teeth almost audibly grinding as his face wrinkled with disgust.

"It doesn't matter where that drunk piece of shit is. Could be dead in a ditch for all I care," Roksoo breathes out, not even bothering to look up from the novel in his hand.

-

Cale despised the useless "aspirations" that his brother would spew. There was a war brewing on the horizons, looming over them like the shadow of the grim reaper themself, yet Roksoo wanted nothing more than to lay around. The very sight of his brother lazing around in bed served as fuel to Cale's ire, bubbling and licking up to his throat with a rumbling growl.

To make things worse? Nothing seems to deter Roksoo from his stupid goals.

"Oops," Cale lilted, eyebrows raised in mock sympathy as he knocked his bottle of wine into Roksoo's lap, startling him awake from his nap.

His brother sat up on his bed, the merlot wine sticky against his skin as he turned a heated glare towards Cale. This. That blank stare that barely did anything to conceal the displeasure in Roksoo's eyes was yet another thing Cale hated.

He hated liars, but he hated those who refused to speak their minds just as much. To him, they were just as bad with the way they would spin people in circles with their sugar coated words and glib tongues.

"My apologies, brother," Cale spoke with a smile, sitting at the edge of Roksoo's stained bed. He was satisfied with pushing every single one of Roksoo's buttons in hopes of seeing the other explode one day.

"...the alcohol must have rotted your liver as well as your brain," Roksoo said through gritted teeth.

Before he could get up to leave, a hand had reached up to yank at his hair, the other one still wet with alcohol, wiping against the collar of his shirt.

It devolves into a jumble of wrinkled clothing and petty smacks or kicks, only ending when Ron enters the room. His benign smile looking... menacing.

-

Roksoo watches as his brother scoops up the soup with the elegance of a noble. The same elegance that had technically been trained into him, but he was too lazy to show. He had to hide how the corners of his mouth threatened to curl up with a slow sip of water.

"AASHGHJGSFDK," Cale sputtered, soup spraying out of his mouth in a panic.

It took so much convincing for the chef to finally give in to Roksoo's schemes. If anything, it was probably Ron who ended up convincing his own son, who looked scornful as he dumped spices into Cale's bowl.

Roksoo continued to watch with a raised eyebrow as though he had nothing to do with it.

His brother reached for his glass of water in hopes of saving his dying tastebuds, snot and tears already starting to dribble down his face as he took a massive gulp.

"PFFFFFFFFFF-" Cale spat this out, too.

Roksoo personally dumped salt into his brother's water, making sure it dissolved completely. Cale turned to him with a messy face, coughing as he tried to find words to curse Roksoo with.

"You.. YOU FUCKING BASTARD," he screeched, launching himself at Roksoo, whose face split into a wolfish grin.

-

Roksoo had been minding his own business at the tea house when he overheard a pair of women flapping their mouths and spouting worthless shit.

"Ugh, the older twin, is such a piece of garbage!"

"I know! Why does the count even bother to keep him! The second son, Roksoo Henituse, is an angel compared to that--" The woman's voice cut off with a shrill scream.

Roksoo leaned against the ledge of the window, cheek resting against his palm as the porcelain cup dangled from his fingers, "Better watch your mouth before I accidentally drop this cup, too."

Their faces paled at the sight of him, their mouths failing to form words to defend themselves before they scurried off.

"fucking roaches."

-

"isn't the second young master... kinda lazy?" A man voiced, almost drowned out amongst the rowdy crowd of the bar, "It's like the war doesn't exist to him or something.."

Cale felt his veins pop at the slander, his grip around the neck of the wine bottle tightening until his knuckles were white.

The tavern goes deathly silent at the sound of the bottle shattering on the wall next to the stranger's head.

-

No matter how they act as though they hate each other and continue to slander one another... their true thoughts and feelings towards each other are revealed when the war surges through their territory. Surrounded by the stench of blood in the air around them and the clanging of swords ringing through the battlefield, they cover each other's backs while tearing down enemy after enemy.

[lukevonhagen]

my take on marius von hagen: part one, his approach to romance

marius has been with me for over a year now and he pretty much occupies my thoughts 24/7, and this was something i have been itching to write for a while. so... strap in, grab your juice box and your cheetos and let's get this show on the road yeah?

Fair Warning, this will not be under a read more, so i apologize in advance if it gets pretty lengthy. (edit: this post is abt 1.8k words long, wow sorry lol.)

this is going to be a character analysis... sort of; it's an analysis of the version of marius that lives in my brain rent free. given that this is an introductory post to what i believe might be a series of my insane marius ramblings, i think i should provide some insight as to what said marius is like in order for the rest of this post to make sense.

first of all, i embrace realism and i reject canon. in marius' sweet wonders card, he finally reveals the significance of the z dog tag he's always wearing. while i think it's really magical that he was able to move on from blaming himself for his mother's death by having an epiphany staring at the ferris wheel... well, i like to make him worse and i just don't think, ultimately, that it's likely or realistic. the marius in my head has a very hard time trying to justify his own existence. i'm not saying he doesn't want to live, or that he'd put himself in any kind of danger, but i believe that he works very hard in order to justify being alive (to himself). not only does he still grapple with the loss of his mother and the role he believes he had to play in that, but there's a part of him that also blames himself for giann's disappearance.

marius believes that he is a vortex that sucks in everything, that destroys everything in its wake. we know for a fact, above all else, that marius doesn't want other people to have to go down with him.

i also believe (especially due to this description) that marius personally manufactured the image he has as a playboy, as opposed to it being a reputation that was given by others which he eventually leaned into.

allow me to elaborate.

marius, in his desire to avoid people being chewed up in his life and spat back out, would want to control the situation as much as possible. there are a few reasons why i believe he'd make this reputation for himself, which are 1) having control of the narrative of himself and making sure people do underestimate him is precisely how he maintains the upper hand in many scenarios (because let's face it, no one expects ditzy, arrogant marius von hagen to be able to outsmart them), and 2) it's much easier to push people away when he makes himself seem incompetent and undesirable. he may be one of the richest men on the planet, but sometimes money isn't enough to redeem an awful composition.

all of that having been said, marius additionally has to have severe trust issues due to the fact that he has a lot of influence and wealth people undoubtably want to use him for, and said influence is the source of a traumatic experience he went through as a child that would forever change the way he'd interact with others in the future. if you remember, marius vaguely alludes to an incident in will of the trees.

he mentions it again in the card in the darkness when he and rosa get trapped in a dark cave and he begins to panic, only this time he's a little more detailed about what happened to him in order to explain his anxiety to her.

then, he actually gives the details of what happened in his personal story.

mc remembers the hints marius had dropped to her a couple of times regarding this incident, so she then asks:

i don't believe marius actually blamed himself for his mother until this was said about him. his mother is the root of all things; he thinks that if he was never born, she would have never died, and perhaps she and giann would still be around and would be happy and healthy. he convinces himself that his existence destroyed his family. the stress of his feelings and anxiety makes him extremely sick as a kid.

all of this was too much for a young marius; now, remember when i said that i reject canon? that's important, because i don't think he ever properly recovered from this episode. i fully believe that marius does need and should go to therapy as an adult, and hasn't done so. my headcanon as to why he didn't, and why he gives off the impression that he's fine now and everything is fine now, is because he wised up and realized that he was being a burden on others and his mother's death would be in vain if he did so.

marius, tired of being a strain on the people he loves, pretends to be mentally sound to avoid his father and brother worrying about him. the way he chooses to cope with this is to disassociate himself with these events that happened to him, to the point where he talks about them like it wasn't him personally that experienced it. (i might touch upon this again in a future post if it becomes relevant.) he can't let others know that things bother him, because it can be weaponized; it would make him look weak, and the last thing he wants is anyone worrying about him but himself, or anyone to take advantage of that weakness. consider this as a strategy he adopted from the "conceal, don't feel" philosophy.

that having been said, a personal acceptance to "get over it" to stop feeling like he needs an emotional babysitter in his relatives =/= a lack of resentment towards others for how that was handled. marius nearly died due to the cruelty of a jealous relative, and his family was right in trying to protect him (as burdensome as he feels he may is), and he learns pretty quickly that he cannot trust others.

he still is one of the most influential people alive, and that means there's going to be a slew of people walking in and out of the revolving door leading into his life that are going to want to take advantage of that fact. it also goes beyond just people wanting to manipulate him, but he doesn't enjoy playing along in this circus of social hierarchy, and doesn't enjoy the people hanging around in these spaces. because they're ingenuine, they have no merit to him, and quite simply put he's looking to fill his life with color and sincerity.

i propose that... in order to consider a romantic relationship with someone, despite how much he longs for one, he would need to deeply get to know the person first and it would take a significant time to do so... and i know what you're thinking, it's just like a regular relationship, right? getting to know someone before deciding if you want to be with them? except, to marius, this is extreme; this social sphere he occupies has effectively chewed him up and spat him back out, because he's at the top of the top. his father is the wealthiest man in the world. marius by virtue of being a von hagen is essentially on the same level as royalty, and his family name is not enough to protect him. he has to be sharp, and he needs to be alert and constantly on guard.

he'd have no idea what someone's intentions may be with him when he meets them and he knows better than to blindly trust a person's seemingly apparent good faith, but also... he's so worried about dragging people down that he'd be almost afraid to consider it. it isn't enough that people want to use and abuse him to their hearts' content, but they'd try to tear up anyone else who went in there with him, and marius would be afraid of that outcome. he's already ruined the lives of his mother and his brother in his failure to protect them from the circumstances that removed them from his life. he would be unwilling to cause someone else he cares about to be put in the same situation, and he wouldn't be able to bear it if they also ended up abandoning him.

all of that leads me to say: i believe he would be more scared and avoidant upon realizing he was falling in love with someone, rather than immediately trying to pursue it with all he's got like he would his other endeavors.

the reason? it's so simple to pursue art. art is an arbitrary passion of his that doesn't impede on anyone else but himself, nor is it influenced by any outside forces; marius has full control over it. the same goes for his company; no one is going to sit there and hold his hand with his newfound ceo duties. he's always been capable of pursuing things on his own. romance is different; romance involves putting his young and fragile heart on the line to go after a whole other independent and outside entity not knowing whether or not he's going to face rejection.

eventually, i believe he'll completely learn to get over the hurdle, but in the interest of transparency... i think he's going to need a nudge from the other person first. a sign it's reciprocated, before he has to put his heart on ice.

i think it's on brand for marius to be a tease when you meet him; it is a genuine facet of his personality, but it's also something that feeds well into his reputation. he's assuming that people are going to know exactly who he is when he runs into them on the street, so he doesn't even bother dropping his pretense. but, i do think that extends... he doesn't drop that mask right away, it takes months and months, and lots of patience and understanding in order to unravel the mystery that is marius von hagen. he's going to want to gauge whether or not it's something he wants to commit to, and if it is, he's going to have to be prepared to unpack all that baggage. he would have to believe that this is going to be a happy ending for him, that his fairytale won't be a tragedy, in order to see a path forward. once marius goes into something, he doesn't step out.

so, he won't put up that much of a fight if he starts to fall in love with you, but that doesn't mean he would be eager make that leap of faith without getting a hint that there will be a safety net ready to catch him when he falls.