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skelswritingcorner · 3 months

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Explaining an Organic Phenomena (TFP fic)

I bring forth ANOTHER reader character/Buddy who has endometriosis! This is closer to my own experiences with my still undiagnosed condition, though. I use Buddy in this story, but that's because I still need to finalize this Buddy's name.

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: Mentioned self harm, mentions of hospital visits, menstrual pain

Story below the cut!

You didn’t expect to end up being involved with an alien’s war, let alone that three of your classmates already knew about them, but you got involved anyway. While you rarely interact with them, preferring to hole yourself up in a small corner to work on assignments, they often pull you into shenanigans anyway. Especially Miko.

The Autobots, as they call themselves, don’t know much about you other than what Jack told them. And he doesn’t know much about you. Most he knows is that at least once a month you end up leaving class early, because it’s the class you have with him that you usually end up leaving for the day, and for the following three days you’re miserable. Jack doesn’t know why either, and you plan on keeping it that way. The only people who get to know about your endometriosis are your family and your doctors.

Well, you at least try. You’ve known them for about two months now, none of them raised an eye at the once-a-monthly absence. Yet. It’s either going to be Ratchet, Optimus, or Smokescreen who will voice any concerns if this happens long enough. Smokescreen, as he’s your Autobot companion assigned to you by Optimus Prime, and Ratchet as he’s a medic.

This is the second period you’ve had since you unwillingly joined them (you blame Miko for this, but also Jack since he’s your neighbor). It was your usual routine during the first day of your period: try to ignore the pain long enough in school, eventually go to the nurse after the pain gets too much for you to focus, then end up being picked up by your mom and brought home.

It was in your class with Miko when you ended up being picked up by your mom. You wrote down something on an index card, giving it to her as you left. She knew what was going on, Miko was the only person outside your immediate family who knew about your condition from you. As you shuffled through to the main entrance, you did see Jack, but ignored him. He was turned away anyway, and you weren’t in the mood to get his attention.

“Where is Buddy? I thought she usually comes with all of you.” Optimus asked. Miko scratched the back of her head before grabbing an index card and showing it to him.

His optics scanned the writing, “I have to leave early, my cramps are getting too much. Tell everyone not to worry about me (especially Ratchet and Smokescreen), I should be there tomorrow.” he read out loud.

“Oh, on the contrary!” Ratchet rebutted, “This happened last month too! And Jack said this happens every single month! Clearly, something’s wrong if this has been happening for years.”

“Well, the only way to confirm if anything’s wrong is to visit her. None of us know where she lives, though.” Raf stated.

“Actually,” Jack countered, “Buddy’s house is right next to mine. Our moms know each other quite well. I don’t think she wants visitors, though. Last time I visited while she was experiencing this she threw something at me, and it hurt.”

Smokescreen entered the room, tilting his head at the lack of his human companion. “Where’s Buddy? I thought she was going to be here.”

“Not here right now,” Miko replied, “she left school early too, needed her mom to pick her up. Girl stuff. I don’t have permission to tell you.”

Smokescreen tilted his head, then turned to Arcee. “Do you know what Miko’s talking about?”

“No, I do not.”

“Then I’m going to find her.” Smokescreen started to walk away, but was stopped by Optimus.

“Smokescreen,” Optimus explained, “I know that you’re concerned for Buddy. However, as Jack is her neighbor, it would draw less suspicion from the Decepticons if he goes to visit her. Jack, do you have Buddy’s contact information?”

“Even better,” Jack pulled out his phone, “I have her mom’s number. Well, I do have Buddy’s number too, but I don’t think she’s going to answer.”

“Excellent. Arcee, go with Jack. Smokescreen, please remain on base, but maintain communications with Arcee.” Optimus ordered. Arcee nodded, and Jack went to grab some of his things before leaving with Arcee.

“Actually, Jackie made a mass displacement machine in case we need to go somewhere that requires someone small.” Bulkhead said, “Arcee might be our smallest member aside from the humans, but I don’t think she can fit through the door of the garage.”

“Absolutely NOT! I believe that would be dangerous. Has Wheeljack even tested it?!” Ratchet turned to Bulkhead, gritting his teeth.

“I’m down to testing it.” Arcee walked to Bulkhead, “Do you know how to operate it?”

“Arcee!” Ratchet exclaimed, “If you really want to do this, I’m going to supervise this.”

♢♢♢

This was not a good day. The cramps were especially bad, so all you could do was writhe in pain on your bed, unable to get anything of substance done. Are the Autobots getting suspicious of this now? The Decepticons? Honestly, the thought of Knockout finding you in this state, hell, even Megatron, made shivers go down your spine. It’s a shame too, you wanted to work on that dress for your project. The one that transforms from a vague black silhouette to a bleeding crimson. Too bad that you’re in pain. Mom went out to do some errands, so she won’t be home for a while. And dad? He doesn’t tell you anything about his work, but you know that it has something to do with the alien robots. Why else would the Decepticons kidnap you the day you were released from the psych ward, before you could even cut off the hospital bracelet? Interrogating you about things you don’t know about?

Who’s texting you right now? Grabbing your phone, you checked to see who messaged you. It was Jack. Of course it would be him, he’s your neighbor! The message said something you wished you didn’t read: ‘Everyone’s worried about you, Arcee and I are coming to your house. Ratchet’s worried too. Don’t throw a textbook at me like last time.’

You wanted to punch Jack so hard right now. Also, it was not a textbook you threw, it was a book about the history of fashion. Get it right, Darby. Angrily typing on your phone, you sent out a message: ‘I’M FINE.’ You then put your phone on the nightstand, curling into the comfort of your blankets.

It should take Jack and Arcee half an hour to get to your house, if they’re coming from the Autobot base. Hopefully, you can just tell them not to worry and leave quickly. They shouldn’t worry about you. Well, June did warn them about your mental health not being the best given what happened over the summer, but the point stands. As long as you’re not alone with your thoughts for too long, you’ll be alright.

There’s a sound that you now know is the ground bridge, and another notification sounded on your phone. So they went the easy route. You grabbed your phone, seeing two dreaded words, ‘We’re here’. God dammit. A door opened, most likely the garage door.

It’s Jack’s voice that you first heard, “Buddy, where are you? Who am I kidding, you’re going to be in your room.” as he spoke, his voice got closer. “Coming in!” and he opened the door. Whoop-de-doo.

“Are you in there?” he asked. You popped your head out of your blanket pile, preparing a plushie to throw at him if he says anything stupid.

“Your room has a lot of… black.” Arcee said, peeking from the hallway. Honestly? She’s right. Nearly everything in your room is black and pastel purple.

Wait. How is she in your house? She’s three times Jack’s size, how did she get in through the door? Wait, she looks smaller than usual…

“Why is Arcee in here?” you asked, biting back a whimper.

“Oh. Wheeljack made some kind of mass displacement machine and needed someone to test it. Smokescreen tried to have himself test it to see you, but Optimus has him on base for now.”

Right. That totally makes sense. Not weird at all.

“He’s worried about you, you know? If it weren’t for Optimus telling him he couldn’t, Smokescreen would be speeding to get to you.”

That’s weird. You thought he hated you. Smokescreen was always belligerent and grumpy when with you, mostly because you insisted on being in control so he wouldn’t break the speed limit and possibly commit involuntary manslaughter. He despised your personality.

“I think he only does that because I was assigned his human partner. I doubt that he’s actually worried for me.” you grumbled, returning to your blanket burrito with the plushie ready to throw.

“Ratchet is also worried, you know? He is a doctor and a-”

You threw the plushie at Jack, full force. Arcee didn’t even try to catch it, leaning against the doorframe nonchalantly. Even when mass displaced, she’d have to crouch to get in.

“Hey! What was that for?” Jack caught the plushie in his hands.

“Well,” Arcee laughed, “Buddy’s up now.”

She’s being sarcastic. You’re still laying on your side, dammit!

Arcee walked into the room, speaking after she knelt in front of you, “Anyway, are you alright? I’m pretty sure Ratchet wants an explanation as to what’s going on, since this is the second time since you’ve joined us that this happened.”

Ough. Eugh. This is going to be difficult. How do you explain menstruation to a robot? They don’t have those parts, at least you think. “Uh,” you winced, not out of pain but out of awkwardness, “It’s very complicated and requires a lesson in human anatomy. June would probably explain it better than I can right now.”

“She’s at work right now, though.” Jack countered. Oh. Right. Hospital stuff.

“...I’ll grab my drawing pad. Just give me a moment to draw some stuff to help explain it.” you got out of your very comfortable blankets, going to your desk to grab your drawing pad, a pen, and a few markers. After finding a blank page, you got to work drawing a basic diagram.

Once you finished drawing, you turned the drawing pad to the two visitors. You pointed the pen to the first drawing; a very badly drawn uterus with a face, “This,” you tapped the drawing, “is the uterus. To the sides are the ovaries, which is where microscopic eggs are held. Every month, usually one egg is released. Before this, a lining grows inside the uterus to prepare for a human baby.”

“An… egg?” Arcee tilted her head.

“Not like the ones you see at the store, those are specifically evolved to grow a baby outside of the mother. These have no shell.”

You shifted your impromptu pointer. If you had your finger ring on, you would be using that to point, “The egg, however, needs to be fertilized in order for a baby to form. This is usually done through… certain acts of pleasure. However, there are treatments in case you can’t get pregnant that way.”

Jack nodded, nonverbally imploring you to continue.

“But this isn’t about how babies are made or grown, this is specifically about what happens when you don’t get pregnant.” You moved the pen to point to another crudely drawn uterus, now with an angry expression and blood coming out from the bottom. “When you don’t get pregnant, then the lining sheds, basically it’s like bleeding. You can’t hold it in, it’s gonna flow whether you want it to or not. This takes several days, and usually causes mild discomfort. This usually starts when reaching teenage years, but I was eleven years old when I first got mine.”

“Wait, you were eleven when that happened?!” Jack’s eyes widened. You just rolled your eyes to continue.

“Sometimes, though, the lining can grow on the outside of the uterus, and end up on other parts of the body,” you tapped the pen on another sketch, with a mess of lines representing the intestines with blobs of red on them, “most often the highest it goes is the intestines, but it can go all the way to the brain. This is called endometriosis, and it causes incredibly painful cramps. I had this confirmed over the summer, after that incident.” you chuckled, “Didn’t even have the chance to get lunch after being discharged before the Decepticons took me.”

“I’m… sorry.” Arcee frowned.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” you replied.

“It’s not an apology, Buddy, it’s a show of sympathy. I can’t imagine how that feels.” Right. People say sorry sometimes to show sympathy. Something you never got the grasp of. Saying sorry is meant for apologies, is it not?

“Well, I did stab myself to distract from the pain my cramps caused.” you laughed.

Why are Jack and Arcee staring at you like that? They look like they saw a flayed corpse.

Oh. Right. They weren’t told why you were in the hospital. At least June is complying with HIPAA.

“That’s why you were in the hospital?! You stabbed yourself?!” Jack went closer to you, still shocked.

“In two places. And no, I’m not showing the scars. They still look nasty.” It is true though, the stitches might be gone but the scars are still healing. Besides, one of those scars is on your stomach. You’re not showing that to anyone except for medical professionals, or someone you trust enough. The only person that applies is mom.

“Well, at least we now know what’s going on. Is it alright if we tell the others?” Arcee asked.

“Go ahead. Miko already knows, by the way. She even taught me how to pronounce it in Japanese. While there is an actual Japanese word, they just use the loan word.” you answered, “Also, be careful when telling Raf. He’s the youngest of us, I’m sure he’ll be full of questions. I… don’t want him trying to learn more than he should at his age.”

You’ve always felt protective of Rafael. Maybe it’s because deep down you always wanted to feel like a big sister to someone. Another part of you thinks you’re trying to subconsciously manipulate him into your father’s cause. Regardless of why that is, the moment you ended up in cahoots with the Autobots you’ve taken up the role of an older sibling to him. You did your best to not be overbearing or authoritarian, but you tried to help explain certain things to him. He might be a genius, but he’s still the age of a middle schooler. As long as he doesn’t end up behaving like Jack or Miko, he should be okay.

“I assume that you want to stay here, and not go to base.” Jack scratched the back of his head.

You nodded, “I’ll see if I can go tomorrow, depending on how I feel. See y’all tomorrow. Also, don’t tell anyone else the fact that I stabbed myself being why I was in the hospital.”

“I promise. See you tomorrow, Buddy.” Arcee waved, and the both of them left.

After the ground bridge noise was made, you put the drawing stuff away and returned to your blanket burrito after taking some painkillers. Talking with both of them distracted you from the cramps for a good while, surprisingly enough. That’s an achievement.

♢♢♢

“Are you saying that this is caused by a regular human bodily function going wrong?!” Ratchet clenched his hands, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“As far as Buddy said, yes.” Arcee confirmed.

“Yikes,” Miko winced, “I thought my cramps were annoying at best. I can’t imagine what level of cramps she experiences every month.”

“That’s why Buddy’s not here right now?” Smokescreen asked Arcee, who nodded.

Smokescreen sulked in a corner, “Why didn’t she tell me? I’m her partner! And she never said anything about this to me!”

“Buddy might have decided not to tell you since it might make you worry. That, and it’s hard to find a comparison for a Cybertronian lifeform for what she experiences. Even I struggle to wrap my head around it.” Optimus said.

“This could be disastrous.” Arcee replied, “Combined with who her father likely is, we might need to keep a close eye on Buddy. Even more than before. Ratchet, have you ever scanned her?”

Ratchet nodded, “Back when we first found her, yes. Is there something you want me to check?”

Jack piped up, “She said she has two scars, they’re very recent. Did those come up on your scans?”

After some typing, a figure that looked like Buddy showed up on the screen. Two points of trauma, one on her right lower arm’s interior, and one on her midsection. Ratchet nodded, “I was wondering what those were. How did that happen?”

“Not allowed to tell you,” Jack said, “it’s a bit… personal to her. It’s probably best if she tells you herself. I’m not breaking her trust.”

“It’s that bad, huh?” Ratchet sighed, “Very well. I’ll ask Buddy when she’s no longer in pain.”

“Hopefully she’ll be okay tomorrow. She might not feel comfortable coming to base tomorrow. Besides,” Miko cradled her cheeks in her fists while leaning against the railing, “she told me that she’s working on that dress! You know, the one she’s making that has a lot of red… for her sewing class?” The looks of confusion from the others proved that they had no idea what Miko was talking about.

“Nevermind.” Miko grumbled, walking to the couch and sitting next to Rafael. Next time Buddy goes on base, she’s gonna have so much to explain.

#transformers x reader #transformers x platonic reader #menstruation cw #endometriosis cw #self harm tw #tfp optimus prime #tfp ratchet #tfp arcee #tfp smokescreen #tfp bulkhead #mentioned tfp wheeljack #jack darby #miko nakadai #rafael esquivel #mentioned june darby

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evita-shelby · 1 year

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i’m a huge fan of Jenna as Flora and in that spirit can i get little glimpse of the relationship between her and Tommy. Diane is the first daughter but Flora strikes me as a more quiet one and kinda reserved like Tommy.

Can there be like a moment now that Diane is out of the house (chasing her man) and Charlie is out trying to forge his own path Flora kinda feels some loneliness. Or she’s really scared due to WW2 fearmongering and asks her daddy (who works in the government) if their family is gonna be okay?

I kinda love in the show how Tommy let his guard down with ruby (rip OG) and showed her a side of him he doesn’t really show anyone not even lizzy. He was truly relaxed and jovial when he had her in his arms

Safe

Some Florence and Tommy fluff, sprinkled with angst and mild spoilers for Tie your heart to mine

Gif by @shxrpeava

1940

When Florence turns ten, war is declared on Germany and its allies.

Charlie leaves and trains as a pilot, Diane rushes to marry Tom because neither want to die without knowing what could have been after nearly he almost died in the Battle of River Plate, Gabe begins joining a boot camp after school to do his part and Flora finds herself all alone in Arrow House most of the time.

At school they are taught what to do in case the enemy attacks, how to provide basic first aid and that Germans will come like they do in her father’s nightmares.

Daddy is hardly home, mami is busy making sure everyone is prepared and eventually everyone is told to come here and hunker down because it won’t be long until the bombings start.

And yet, having the house filled to the brim has her feeling lonely.

Doesn’t help everyone whispers about what the Nazis are doing to their people.

Her mother mutters a curse to them , the Germans, especially one called Mengel, when she is told by Esme about what the doctors are doing to Romany they capture.

Florence Eleanor Shelby is scared.

Scared that Tom died in Dunkirk, scared that Charlie gets captured by the nazis and he gets tortured for being Rom, scared that the German bombers will kill them here.

So she goes to the one who can tell her the truth about it.

Not mami who lies and tells her she sees the war coming to an end and them defeating the nazis and their allies.

Flora goes to her father, the man who is second to the leader of his party and part of the Prime Minister’s inner circle.

He’s working, or hiding from everyone, in his office.

She is careful to not make much noise and yet he knows its her even without looking up from his papers until she is tugging at his sleeve for his attention.

He stops working and lifts her on his lap with a groan.

“Getting too big for this, sweetheart.” He said into her dark hair.

There is something about her dad that always makes her feel safe.

Between the smell of cigarettes, the mint he chews to hide it and the cologne mom makes for him in the stillroom, Florence feels safe.

Even when he isn’t here, she just comes into his office and wears his coat to pretend he is there with her.

It makes her feel safe, just like mami feels safe when she hides in her parlor from everyone and wears daddy’s shirts to sleep.

“Daddy, are we going to die?” she asks once she is comfortable.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.” He answered honestly. “But your mum sees Charlie coming home and Dia being happy with her Tom, you and Gabe growing up in a world after the war, so maybe if we work hard enough, we can have that future.”

“Do you really think so?” she asks knowing sometimes mami’s visions don’t come true.

“Yeah, I think so. Your mom’s never wrong.” He said before kissing the top of her head.

“Can I stay here with you?” she asks hoping he says yes.

“Don’t you want to play with your cousins, Flora?” he asks knowing why she’d run here.

“They’re too loud.” She answers and he laughs quietly.

They didn’t like too much noise, house feels too small and sometimes they just need to go outside where no one can find them.

“I’ll make you a deal, Florence, you let me finish up my work and we go to the stables once I’m done.” Her dad says and she nods in agreement.

“Can I ride Helsing with you?” she asks, dad’s favorite horse was the big black one that hates everyone except mami.

Says it reminds him of him.

“Only if you don’t tell your mother.”

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #dad!tommy my beloved #dad!tommy #tommy and florence #florence shelby #diane shelby x tom bennett #tie your heart to mine fic #world on fire peaky blinders crossover #peaky blinders fanfiction

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doobnnoob-tf2 · 2 years

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prompt: how would the Mercs react to a group trip to a large city?

Scout: As expected, he loves it. Adores it. He hates quiet, growing up in such a loud city with a loud family, quiet actually gives him anxiety. He can’t handle when things are quiet. The moment they arrive, he’s hardly seen. He finds everything to do and is often getting in trouble. Conveniently, Spy always shows up out of the blue to bail him out.

Soldier: Everyone here is a hippie but he’s having fun. He’s just as loud and obnoxious as everyone else so he fits right in! He quickly finds how much he enjoys going to look at exhibits, especially the ones about past wars. After seeing people come up to look and read, he decides to take over and tell everyone about it all. Or at least his version. The people running the exhibits almost kick him out, but the patrons love him, and he’s not hurting anyone.

Pyro: It doesn’t make that much of a difference to them, as far as anyone can tell. Pyro is happy almost anywhere. Engineer insists on them staying close to him for the trip. Partially because no one wants them lighting something on fire and partially because no one wants them hanging out with Scout and getting in trouble. The two of them spend a lot of time in museums or parks or shopping centers.

Demoman: He can’t find a reason to be upset. It’s a vacation, after all. A new place with new bars. None of it bothers him much. Sure it’s noisy and people are pushy, but he finds himself comfortable in a booth where throughout the night, he entertains other bar goers with tall tales of his homeland. Once or twice, he’s repeated a story but no one minds. His thick accent and friendly attitude is enough to keep people hooked.

Heavy: He doesn’t.. hate it. It’s definitely not for him. He’s able to find things to do to busy himself, and often just hangs out with Medic so he has someone to talk to. They do enjoy talking to each other in their respective languages just to see the irritation on everyone’s face when no one can follow along.

Engineer: He’s a bit on the fence on how he feels about everything. On one hand, he had a big family growing up and there was always some noise going on. But on the other hand, this may be too much noise for his tastes. He appointed himself Pyro’s babysitter. Not that he minds too much. It’s a big place and he doesn’t want them getting lost or worse, in trouble like Scout. He still has a ton of fun.

Medic: He loathes the idea at first but quickly comes to find it may not be that bad after all. Sure the people aren’t completely tolerable, they all remind him of Scout, but being somewhere new and different and not some hot base in some hot desert with loud people yelling for him the moment they get a papercut is nice. And being able to wander around with Heavy is rather relaxing. He’s quiet, he’s intimidating so less people want to be near them, and they like a lot of the same things. So it works out in the end.

Sniper: He. Hates. It. All. It’s too noisy, there’s too many people, and he has to drive several miles out to be able to see the night sky. He’s grouchy and miserable the whole time, often having to be reeled back in when someone shoves him by a teammate to stop a fight. He does eventually find a coffee shop in a quieter part to spend a lot of time in. Every so often one of his teammates with drop by to sit and relax with him.

Spy: He’s used to adapting for a job, the city life doesn’t bother him at all. In fact, he enjoys it quite a bit. The lights, the people, the life. It reminds him of the city he grew up close to, though he was never able to enjoy it the way he should have. He spends most of his time in the downtown area.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sharing one braincell #tf2ramblingsandsuch

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aggressive-positivity-network · 3 years

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Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

*****************

Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

#tf2 #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 headcanons #headcanon requests #tf2 mercs #autism #autistic community #autistic culture #red team #blu team #valve games

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Needled Words

Characters: Childe, fm!reader

Word Count: 1,691

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: When does a joke go too far, when is a jab more than just friendly? Where does the line blur and where does it stop?

In which Childe’s teasing becomes too much for the reader

Author’s Note: For some reason this prompt made me think of Nancy Mitford, mostly because she was known also for being a slightly mean-spirited teaser. Ah Childe, my beloved. Communication in a relationship is key y’all.

Childe

You knew that Childe was only joking. After all, didn’t he read his letters to you? Brimming with little asides and jokes.

“Dear Tonia, I would say I was happy to get your letter, if only it was sopping wet. Did you leave it out in the snow again? I swear, if you were in the illustrious Tsaritsa’s army, you’d probably end up attacking your own regiment, and then I’d be forced to execute you for treason!” No one could mistake such an opening for anything except a slightly barbed bit of teasing.

Nor were the younger one’s exempt. Teucer’s antics had resulted in quite a bit of teasing. “Teucer, I think the Mr. Cyclopses have better survival instincts” and “I didn’t take you for someone who spent other people’s money!” This latter statement was made after Teucer spied the hand-crafted, very expensive, fireworks that were sold in Liyue. Of course, Childe had bought him the fireworks, and of course he never begrudged doing things for you when he teased you either. Still, you somehow felt as if things were different when directed at you.

Not that they really were. It wasn’t so much that you were picking up a different tone, it was more that, unlike Childe’s siblings and other friends, such as Zhongli, who was subjected to endless old man jokes, you couldn’t seem to take them well. When he joked about how many times you ran into the countertop you began to wonder if you truly had something wrong with your hand-eye coordination; when he said you were the laziest person, he’d ever met you wondered if you weren’t sleeping in too late; when he teased that he had to be your personal babysitter you wondered if you were truly good enough to be an adventurer. It wasn’t Childe’s fault, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Of course, you could tell him, could finally let it all out and stop pretending that it wasn’t painful to try and keep all your emotion sunder wraps. But you couldn’t help but feel as if that would in some ways disappoint him. He was a Harbinger, tough, aloof. No words could ever hurt Childe, of that, you were sure. So how would he take it, the knowledge that his part was all too liable to shatter at every poke and prod? You couldn’t blame him if he turned out to be ashamed.

So, you kept it to yourself, smiled through all the jabs and teases. It didn’t matter, it really didn’t. You were fine! Or if you, weren’t it wasn’t worth it trying to change anything. You didn’t want to lose Childe, didn’t want to see the change when he went to say something before stopping, looking at you’re with barely concealed disappointment. Childe lived with his emotions to the forefront after all. And you wouldn’t ask him to change something you ultimately loved about him.

Thus, the days continued on, as did the teasing and the feigned smiles. Some days it was worth it, some days you were left with nothing but happiness bubbling up inside, the love that humans reserved for a very few number of friends and lovers. Yet those days were often days with minimal teasing, and you couldn’t help but notice the layer of anxiety that pressed on your love the days that were filled with Childe’s jabs. Lying in bed, limbs tangled with his, you stared up at the ceiling, wondering what you should do. You felt trapped, by your emotions, by your pride, by Childe’s words. They were all encircling you, and you could do nothing to defend yourself. You tried to keep the tears to a minimum; after all your partner slept so little already.

You didn’t know when the subtle shift happened, when it all became too much to handle. Maybe it was after Childe’s recent trip to Snezhnaya, where, surrounded by Harbingers who saw their coworkers as enemies rather than allies, he had sharpened his wit even more so than before. If his earlier teasing was unfocused, general quips, then his current ones struck quite closer to home.

“Wow my dear I didn’t peg you for a Treasure Hoarder, I don’t think that arrow could hit anyone if it tried!”

“I think you truly have the makings of someone who gets scammed by a Mondstadtian duke, or perhaps a Fontaine prince who has lost all his mora in a flood. Remind me to never go shopping with you.”

“Honestly, I think if you ran into the Electro Archon, she’d think your vision was fake. It’d be an easy way out.”

The whiplash of Childe’s proclamations of “princess” mingled with sentences that, had they been geared at anyone else, would surely be insults was shocking, and you found yourself less and less able to keep these two aspects of your partner compatible in your mind. Even less did you find the ability to simply brush it off.

You didn’t know why it was a comment about your socks that finally caused you to break. Really, it was too juvenile.

Laundry in your shared apartment was often seen as a punishment, the chore that each of you pushed onto the other. As such there was often a pile of laundry in the laundry basket, and incredibly slim pickings in your drawers. That being the case you often found yourself wearing mismatched socks. Perhaps it was a little odd, or a little childish, but it was certainly preferrable to spending all day at the river scrubbing your hands red. Who cared anyways? No one would notice such a small thing, especially once you had put your boots on.

However, nothing could get past Childe’s wicked sense of humor, and apparently your clothing choices were prime fodder for him.

“Nice socks.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, already having a sense of where it was going. The smirk that played across your partner’s face was full of mischief, and usually that only led to one place.

“I think that you’ll be quite the icon among toddlers all throughout Liyue. People will be asking you if you’re lost all day, or maybe they’ll ask you how it feels like to be nine.”

It was really a silly comment to get so upset over, such a small, insignificant thing to cry over. Yet there you were, standing in the kitchen, frozen in horror as your vision became fuzzy with tears. Unsure about any other course of action you buried your face in your hands and prayed Childe wouldn’t think about what you were doing.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

You could hear the panic and concern mingling in Childe’s voice. Almost immediately a warm hand was on your shoulder, and you were suddenly flooded with the presence of the person you loved so much, the person you were now crying about. You could tell Childe was saying something, was whispering soft words of comfort, but in the moment your thoughts felt all too loud. Overwhelmed by the situation you turned into your partner’s shoulder and let yourself cry.

Eventually sensing you had lost all your tears Childe drew back slightly.

“Would you like a glass of water?”

“Yes please,” you replied, voice still small. Nodding Childe moved towards the kitchen. Within a few moments he was back, glass in hand.

“Was it the teasing?” He asked as you drank. Whatever you had to say about your partner, he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Yes,” you mumbled, nodding for affect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had gone too far. I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“But Childe, it, it’s not just this time.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, voice flooding through with concern once more.

“It’s, I’m sorry, it’s just that, it’s all the time. Not all the time, every time you tease me. It’s not your fault! Of course, it’s not, it’s my fault. I don’t know, I just, it really hurts sometimes, all the time? I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry.”

Childe’s expression was one of abject horror. Taking your hand, he rubbed small circles on the top with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I should have been more careful.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, I know you tease everyone, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable.” Childe’s voice seemed just as hurried as yours. “It makes me more uncomfortable to think that you’ve been burying this the whole time. You’re damn good at hiding things you know. But this isn’t a war or something, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, for whatever reason. Better if you tell me, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Doesn’t look good on you, or sound good. I’d rather hear you happy.” Childe leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “I love you, okay? You mean more to me than a little bit of teasing.”

“You don’t think I’m being weak?” You managed to make out as your anxiety lessened its grip on you.

“Weak? Girlie you’re one of the strongest people I know! Weak my ass. If you wanted to rule the world you could give me a run for my money. Of course, I’d win though. I mean, I would be there right with you.”

“I know you would,” you smiled, despite yourself.

You knew that Childe probably would still retain the odd sense of humor and levity he already had. Old habits die hard and all that. Still, you had managed to say what had been haunting you all this time and, more than that, you had been assured that you were good enough, strong enough. Those few words, no matter how short, meant the world to you.

#genshin impact #childe x reader #childe #tartaglia #genshin impact fanfiction #oneshot #requested #my writing

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fieryhonesty · 3 years

Text

“Story’s based on a request from a Nonnie and they are right! Our Xiao needs hugs and rest a bit.”

Words: 1910

Genre: fluff, f!reader

Xiao is always keeping things for him. He will never seek company to share his burdens. After all, there is no trouble which will last long enough, he says. However he can't deny there are moments when he is fed up. Be it the never ending war he fights or his own problems. Which are having roots back in history.

Sometimes there's too much to handle at once, yet he stands tall and faces it headon. Never argues or falters with decisions. As long as it means he can protect Liyue.

To anyone who has never seen him or rarely, he looks like a strong and cold man. But is he really like this? He is an Adeptus, he has seen a lot and experienced some battle scars. Was Xiao always like this? Back in the days when all other Yaksha existed.

Many things happened in his life. He can't even count or remember it all. But all those things made him who he is now. Although there are things which still surprise or confuse him.

He never liked showing himself in front of mortals. There are just a few ones which he tolerates or even allows to talk to him. If he is in a good mood of course. The ones who know Xiao also know about keeping distance when he is upset.

But there's one mortal whose boldness or maybe stupidity never ceases to amaze him. He told you so many times to leave him be, added harsh words and yet... you didn't turn away. Instead approached and offered a companionship.

He eventually gave up with chasing the silly female away. At first he didn't know why she was so stubborn. Mortals are strange but you are like one or two levels stranger than anyone else. Just why do you wish to spend time with somebody like him?

You are like a bridge between the silent and closed up Adeptus and mortal realm. Part of him is still hesitant and refuses to share his burdens. He might have allowed you to stay beside him, be it in silence or tell him what you did that day. What strange things happened or something. He would just sit there and listen. But none of this means he will let his guard down. He will always be fully aware of what's happening around.

You are often asking yourself: does he ever rest? As you know him for a while you are able to recognize when he is really sad and you shouldn't say much. Or when he is quite alright and willing to listen to your rambling until you fall asleep. The fact you can peacefully sleep in Xiao's presence amazes him.

Today is one of those nights when he would have preferred to be just alone. But why does he feel this burning desire to pay you a visit? Is it because you didn't come for a few days and he got worried? No. That can't be it. Xiao has no attachment to anybody, especially mortals.

Truth to be told, he feels tired and despite feeling the way he feels. He decides to silently knock on your door. At first he thought he knocked too lightly. For a brief second he thought to himself to leave. Why is he here anyway? But then he heard your footsteps from behind the door.

He feels so conflicted. He shouldn't be here, seeking anyone's company. Solitude and sadness are nothing to him.

When you open the door of your apartment, the cold is immediately making you shiver. Not wasting any second grabbing Xiao's wrist and pulling him inside. The cold is too much for you. How the heck he can just stand there and not shiver?!

Be it anyone else touching him, he would have asked them if they do have a death wish. He got used to your touch at least a bit. You sometimes gently squeezed his hand in a friendly gesture. To assure him you are there, willing to listen to anything or just sit silently and observe the sky.

Letting go of his wrist and looking into his golden eyes. As usually his expression is the same but you can feel he is not alright. His shoulders are unusually down and overall his posture is different.

"Is something wrong?"

You ask with a slightly tilted head to the side. You are not even aware of this, you do it automatically all the time. It's kind of cute but don't expect the Adeptus will say it out loud. He is already confused. He wanted to be alone, why did he come here. He is clearly delaying your bedtime. He should have never come. But the words escaping his lips are even more confusing him.

"You didn't come..."

Is he really worried about a mortal? Didn't he promise to himself to never get any attachment to anyone? Not even to another Adepti.

Your next move is really bold and unexpected. Xiao gasps in surprise as you wrap your arms around him.

"Y/n? What are you...?"

Perhaps embracing him would not be the brightest idea if you consider how little he knows about human interactions. But you couldn't help yourself. Feeling a bit guilty for making the poor man worried. He already has a lot on his plate.

"I'm sorry if I did worry you."

You said as you gently rubbed his back, drawing circles in a soothing manner.

It took him a while to realize what was going on. He seen this act between other mortals but never cared what does it mean. It's just two people are in close proximity, touching each other. But there's something strange about the act.

Your warmth.

He didn't feel cold while being outside, he is used to it. But when he feels your warmth he can't help it but feel a bit at ease. When you pull back to check on him, he feels a little... sad? Perhaps he missed the opportunity to repay the act.

"You know. There's something I had noticed about you, Xiao."

He lifts an eyebrow at you. Unable to contain the curiosity.

"How much do you trust me?"

You ask while trying to keep your smile. Aware of how much the question doesn’t make sense with what you said before.

Xiao on the other hand is pondering over your question. How much does he trust a mortal like you? And why are you asking him in the first place?

"That's stupid thing to ask. You should have known the answer already."

There we go again. Xiao and his not so sugar coated words. Surely you know he has at least a bit more trust in you than other humans. But would he let you touch him even more? No matter how you put it, it will sound wrong.

"Well then... it just crossed my mind out of nowhere but. Uh... There's something that always bugged me. Do you ever rest or relax at all? I mean yes you do just hang around at Wangshu here and now. But I mean like a real rest..."

You had to stop yourself. Feeling how your monologue was getting worse by each said word.

"I don't need to-"

"Yes, you do."

Oh no. It slipped out faster than you could think of it. He is silent, eyes slightly narrowed. Did you anger him? It's quite easy to do it after all.

"What do you propose then?"

"Eh?"

"Don't 'eh' at me. If you think I need to relax then you should have an idea how."

You are finally on the same page. Sometimes you hate your brain to jump into way too fast conclusions. You motion for him to follow you to your living room where you both sit on the sofa. Telling him to sit turned back to you.

You are sitting behind him. What are you planning? Ah! A gasp escaped his lips making him feel embarrassed. You just barely touched his shoulders. Not even using too much force, just a gentle squeeze to test waters.

"So, can I give you something that my mom calls a medicine for tired muscles?"

A simple massage. Just by a single touch you could feel how tense his muscles are. He nods. Being glad you can't see his face now. Biting his bottom lip. He didn't know how much his back actually hurts. Not paying attention to it anymore. But now, he is melting under your touch.

You try to be gentle but also applying some pressure to help his muscles to relax. You had learned how to massage when you were teen as your mother always had back pain from her work. This was the fastest help, along with pain killers.

Xiao deeply exhales, closing his eyes. He hates to admit it but this feels good, maybe too good. Perhaps he could let his guard down for a bit, at least for now. Letting your skilled fingers caress him. Exhaustion and fatigue is slowly getting under his skin. And this warm feeling, he wants more. Just like when you embraced him a while ago.

You noticed how much he relaxed under your hands. You can't help it but smile from ear to ear. The mighty Guardian, always so rigid can't endure the pleasant feeling.

"If you are tired you can sleep over, I don't mind. Unless... you have plans to mess up your back just right when I fix them up?"

You had secretly hoped he wouldn't disappear when you are done. You know when he leaves your place he will go back to his stiff attitude again.

"Somebody has to keep you safe at night. Take it as a payment..."

You giggle as he says that. You could tease him about admitting he likes this but decided to rather not.

When you were done and brought him a spare blanket you noticed his blush. Not saying anything and just offering the warm cover. What you did not expect was him grabbing your wrist.

"Xiao?"

"How can... I keep you safe if you are in the other room?"

Oh damn. Your brain is preoccupied with why he just won't admit he wants to keep you close.

"Um, you want to move the sofa into my bedroom?"

He groans. Why you must play dumb now? All he wants is more of your warmth. When you embraced him, when you touched him. He felt at ease which is new to him. Is it too much to ask for more? Well, maybe he should actually ask and be straight for once.

"Just... stay close."

"Oh-"

That escalated quickly. For both of you. You decided to spare him from more suffering as you could see his face was slowly turning to tomato color. And you? You weren't much better. Turning off the lights before sliding under the blanket. For once being glad to have a bigger sofa.

As you are both laying on your sides you feel Xiao's hand hesitantly go over you to pull you closer to him. Don't even think of escaping when he falls asleep. He has you secure. And certainly he won't admit any of this the next morning.

He is tired and confused by his behavior but he decided to blame it on his fatigue. You better don't mention any of this. Not even the way he is having a firm grip of your clothes. Or how quickly he fell asleep.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #f!reader #xiao #fluff a lot of it #fiery request

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anonquack · 3 years

Text

| Red Reunion |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 7157

Warnings: This contains DSMP LORE spoilers (egg lore) and character death is described (no MCD). Angst to fluff. Read at your own risk. Also; curse words (:

Summary: After some time off the DSMP, you make your return, only to find out everything has changed. The person you care most about is not himself anymore, and you're going to do everything in your power to put a smile back on his face. Bring Quackity back to you, and make up all the time lost.

A lot had changed since you were last here. Some parts had been destroyed due to conflicts, others just did not give off the same approachable feeling they used to. Things around the Dream SMP were very different.

As you walked around, in search for something or someone you recognized, your eyes fell upon Bad. He seemed to be rather busy, chatting up a storm with what looked to be Ant. Finally, some familiar faces!

The feeling of relief that rushed over you after seeing Bad made you act on impulse. Before you knew it, you were standing a few steps away from Ant and Bad.

"Bad!?" You called out. The relief slowly dissipated as you got closer. Bad did not look like himself, and neither did Ant. There was something slightly off about them. But it was too late now, their attention was on you.

"Y/N-?" Bad responded, milky eyes widening slightly, at the sight he hadn't seen in what felt like decades. This was Bad. No doubt. You nodded in response and quickly wrapped him into a hug, not caring to think that the time you two spent apart had also put some space between you two. Ignorant to the idea that things had changed.

You felt the tension running through his body as your arms wrapped around him, and decided to pull away after a few seconds. "Hi." You let out, waving at Ant, who seemed just as surprised to see you here.

"Hi-!" Bad and Ant responded. "What are you doing here?" Ant added, confusion clear in his face. Although it stung slightly, it made sense. It had been too long since you last stepped foot on the SMP. Nobody knew when you'd be back, but now you were finally here.

"I'm..back. I missed you all, but it seems stuff has changed." You said, gently scratching the back of your neck in anticipation of their response. They looked at each other before Bad gave you a grin, gently resting his hand onto your shoulder.

"Nonsense. It's nice to see you again, Y/N. I'm actually glad we bumped into you, so we can formally invite you to the Red Banquet! Ant, Ponk, and I will be hosting it, and we'd love to see you there! Think of it as a welcome back party. I'm sure everyone attending would love to see you again. It really has been so long.."

It was a load of information, and it took a bit to fully process everything, but you slowly nodded your head as he spoke to let him know you were listening.

"Red Banquet?" You said once all information he'd thrown at you had been digested. "What's that all about?" Perhaps it was connected to the red vines you'd seen around certain parts of the SMP a few days ago.

Bad simply shook his head. "Just a party we're having in order to attempt to unite everyone again. I'd really love to see you there! But for now, Ant and I have to go. Promise you'll show up?"

He seemed to be in a rush, but you found it very sweet that he wanted to unite everyone again. Classic BadBoyHalo. That'd probably be nice, especially after hearing the rumors that war took place on these lands during your absence.

"Yes, I'll be there." You nodded, a small smile on your lips. He smiled at that as well, nodding and waving his hand a bit as him and Ant walked away.

"Oh-! And wear Red please!!" He called out before slowly disappearing out of your sights. You nodded even though he couldn't see you, and smiled to yourself once you were all alone.

Maybe things weren't so different. Maybe this Red Banquet would help you reconnect with all your friends, all the people you'd accidentally left behind. It was the perfect time for apologies and reconciliation. The Red Banquet would do just that for you.

It was finally the day of the Red Banquet. Although on short notice, you'd managed to find an outfit that fit the dress code, even if just a little. You looked yourself over once more before heading off to the location Bad and Ant had given you.

As you got closer, you started to notice more people, and some familiar faces. It made you happy to see they were okay, but you were also dreading the confrontation.

Would they be angry at you for leaving? Would they even want to see you? Did they even remember you? So many questions were floating around in your head until you spotted a certain person.

Puffy.

She was curiously looking around at everyone too, admiring the wonderful outfits everybody had picked out for today.

Although a bit hesitant at first, you finally made your way over to her. As you got closer, her gaze went towards you.

Her eyebrows raised slightly, perhaps in confusion, followed by her eyes widening when she realized who she was looking at.

"Hi Puffy." You said with a small wave, voice timid and unsure. Her eyes were wide as she took in the sight of you, unable to believe it really was you standing in front of her.

"Y/N-?" She responded, stepping towards you. You nodded and gave another wave. You were cautious since you didn't know if she hated your guts or was just surprised to see you back.

"Oh wow- hi!! It's been so long!" She exclaimed, finally taking all the information in. "I couldn't believe it was really you-!"

You took a few steps towards her and eventually you both enveloped each other into a hug. It felt so nice to see old friends again, and it felt even better knowing there was no resentment towards you.

After pulling away from the hug, you both smiled at each other before she grabbed your arm and began taking you around to greet everybody else.

Everyone was welcoming, more shocked than anything else at the fact you were back. It made the uneasiness in your stomach go away.

But not quite. You hadn't bumped into the person you wanted to see the most. He was nowhere in sight. Knowing that he could be anywhere, that you could bump into him at any second, kept you on edge.

"Uh, Puffy?" You called out to the woman beside you, calmly waiting for the banquet to start. She turned her attention towards you, eyebrows raised slightly to notify you that she was listening. "Do you know if Quackity is going to show up?" You asked, trying your best to hide your anxiousness and replace it with a casual tone.

She seemed to be thinking about it for a bit before shrugging. "I'm not sure. Maybe Bad invited him? I don't see why he wouldn't!" Her response was brief, but it made sense. Bad had said he wanted to make peace with everyone, unite them once and for all. He had to show up. He had to.

The Red Banquet was going well. You were currently seated at the table, everyone happily listening to the toasts that were being made, waiting for the moment where they could finally enjoy the soup placed in front of them.

So far, the day had consisted of drinks, music, dancing, and laughs. Everyone seemed to be getting along quite well, and it seemed that Bad's plan of uniting everyone was working.

As pleasant as the night seemed, one thing was still bothering you. He was still nowhere in sight, and you were losing hope of finding him here.

The fear of him not showing up tonight, or perhaps that you two would never cross paths again was threatening to cloud your senses, but today was the day everyone let bygones be bygones. Those fears would have to wait until after you left the Banquet.

For now, you watched in adoration as individuals stood from their seats and began their speeches regarding the bright futures they saw in store for all present. The idea that all conflict, which you hadn't even learned half of, would be forgotten and replaced with nothing but friendship. Their speeches were wonderful and left you in a happy daze.

But the happy daze did not last.

You were staring at your bowl of soup absent-mindedly when a loud scraping of a chair against the floor caught your attention. Your head snapped up, trying to see what was wrong, and immediately you noticed that everyone was up, shocked and reproaching Bad.

You looked around in confusion before noticing the walls of lava closing in on you all. Your eyes scanned the room before finding Bad, Ant, Ponk, and even Hannah in full gear. You couldn't even process what was happening as everybody was shouting at each other.

What in the hell had happened?

The only words registered by you were "sacrifice" and "egg", none of which made sense. Why was Bad doing this? This was not Bad. He was not like this. He was willing to sacrifice the lives of his friends for.. for whatever the Egg was. Was it the vines circling around the SMP? The Red vines circling the very place where the Red Banquet was taking place? What the hell happened while you were gone?

There was nothing you could even do, no one had weapons besides Bad and his group, and suddenly Bad's request for no one to come armed made sense. To the innocent minds, it would appear he just wanted a peaceful banquet. But now it was obvious he wanted no one to have the ability of fighting back against his plans.

It seemed like your time here had come to an end. Bad was going to sacrifice his friends right here and now. No failed attempts to harm the egg were gonna stop them. Nothing was.

Nothing was stopping Bad or Ant from killing in front of everyone. The speeches meant nothing. Foolish meant nothing to them besides a sacrifice to the Egg. You'd never heard Puffy let out such cries and screams. The blood that was dripping onto the stone floor from where Foolish was sacrificed would be something you saw in your nightmares from now on.

It seemed helpless. Everyone was practically lined up, waiting for death to arrive for them.

Until he barged in.

There was no mistaking that voice. There was no mistaking the way his presence took over the room, called for everyone's attention and demanded it stay there. It was him. He was here. He was going to save everyone.

Your eyes were glued to him as he cautiously walked closer to Bad, calling out to him and trying to get the older to come to his senses, get him to stop whatever nonsense he was trying to do tonight.

Part of you felt bad about completely forgetting the betrayal that had taken place tonight, and instead feeling ecstatic that Quackity was here, in the flesh.

The guilt began seeping in as you heard the people around you yelling out their thoughts, heard how pained and tired they sounded in regards to what Bad was doing, and probably because of all they've been through as well.

You escaped your own thoughts once Puffy charged at Ant, and a whole fight broke out between everyone. It was all too much to take in, it was all happening too fast. Ant was dead because of Puffy, Bad and the rest of his group had gotten away, and the rest of the guests were visibly shaken up.

And then there was him, curses leaving his lips, and a harsh scowl on display. It was clear with his facial expressions that he was beating himself up for letting Bad escape. You watched as he gave orders for Purpled to try and follow after Bad, try to get a sense of where he'd gone off to. And then his attention was returned to the guests.

His eyes flitted through the crowd, and you could feel yourself attempting to shrink. The idea of talking to him was nerve-racking, but necessary. He soon began to lead everybody out of the hole Bad had dragged them into. As soon as the bright light of day was visible again, the guests began to break out into cheers. Some crying over the fact that they were scared they'd never get to see this sight again.

As he checked to make sure everyone was okay, you decided it was the perfect time to approach. His back was facing you as you made your way towards him, too busy ensuring everyone made it out to notice the faint footsteps approaching him.

"Quackity?" You called out, feeling your mouth turn dry so quickly, scared of what to say next. You could see his shoulders stiffen, tension rising in the air before he turned around slowly. The look of disbelief and bewilderment in his eyes was something you'd never forget.

Now that he was so close, you took a moment to examine his facial features. This was not the Quackity you remembered. The Quackity you knew had bright, cheerful eyes. He had a cheeky smile on his face, always getting himself into trouble.

No, this Quackity was nothing like that. The bright, cheerful eyes were gone, now replaced by rather dull looking ones, and a scar across one of his eyes. The smile was also gone, lips slightly parted now, words dying on the tip of his tongue at the sight of you. Even his clothes were different. The blue sweater was gone, now replaced by rather formal wear.

A look of pain flashed across his face before quickly disappearing and getting replaced by the same stoic expression from earlier. "Y/N." He stated. Hearing him say your name ignited something within you, but it was nothing like before. A frown quickly took over your features as you struggled to find what to say in return.

"How have you been?" It was so dumb. There were so many better things that could've been said but that's what came out of your mouth at that moment. You watched as he stared before lightly rolling his eyes. "Now's not the time to catch up. I've got shit to do." He stated bluntly. He only maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before he walked away, approaching Technoblade to discuss what you could only assume was related to Bad.

You could hear your heart breaking inside your chest. He definitely hated you, and you couldn't really blame him. You'd left and returned to a broken Quackity. He clearly had gone through some shit, if his scars weren't telling. He was a changed man, and for you to try and waltz back into his life was fucked up. You knew that. But fuck. It hurt way more than you thought it would.

You'd considered what it'd be like, an alternate reality where Quackity hated your guts, and it seemed bad. But it was nothing quite compared to the real thing. This was your reality now.

You watched as he walked off, a dumbfounded yet hurt look on your face. You felt the sting in the back of your eyes as you tried holding it in until later. You were biting down on the inside of your cheek, eyes glued to his back before you turned, deciding to head back to what you deemed your home for now.

This Red Banquet had gone quite the opposite of what you expected, and had ended with your heart aching because the only person you truly cared about now despised you. You couldn't wait to get home and crawl into bed.

—

It'd been a week or two since the incident. Tension was still high, but everyone was making an effort to try and let things go back to normal.

You were too. You couldn't stay in bed forever, as pleasant as that seemed, so that meant going out and about.

This didn't necessarily mean productivity. You needed time to let your heart and mind heal, so a stroll around the SMP would do for now.

You took your time, quietly admiring the bright and colorful flowers that decorated certain areas, the beautiful builds that were built in your absence, and how the SMP was still bustling even after such incidents.

Your gaze followed your feet, and the way the grass crunched and bent under your shoes. Your gaze jumped from flower to flower, different colors catching your attention. Different.. people. A person.

Quackity.

Shame and fear took over your body as you looked at him from afar. After your last exchange, you were hyper aware on the fact he did not wish to speak to you anymore. And yet your paths had somehow crossed again.

You felt yourself let out a breath you didn't even know you'd been holding in. Approaching him again would be a grave mistake. But it could be a mistake you dwell on after. Your mind was going so fast as you considered the pros and cons of approaching him at this very moment.

It was the fear of 'What If' that made you do it. You let out another shaky breath, trying to calm yourself before approaching.

"Quackity!" You called out as you made your way over to him. He was currently slumped over, eyes fixated on the ground, face hidden from your view.

He looked torn, as if life had taken every single bit of happiness from him. As you got closer, you came to a halt, not wanting to alert him.

"Quackity?" You called out again, the nerves slowly reappearing and engulfing you with concern.

Once he looked up, his brown eyes met yours, and you were stunned at the beauty of them. The sunlight shone so beautifully and accentuated the light and dark browns that made up his irises.

Your gaze moved from his eyes to the scar that now rested on said eyes. Your gaze softened, a small frown on your lips at the realization that he'd probably been through so much these last few months.

"What happened?" You asked, hands acting on instinct, reaching out for his face. At that moment, you witnessed him put space between you two, a bewildered look in his eyes. You felt your heart break into smithereens.

"Y/N-?" He said, the shock clear in his tone. The reaction seemed to be instinctual, not because it was you. You nodded your head fervently, before responding softly, "Yes, it's me. Hi." You saw his expression soften, but his walls quickly came back up.

"Hey." He stated coldly, eyes averting in order to avoid eye contact. You looked around for a bit, unsure of what to do before sitting down a few feet away from him in order to ensure he didn't feel uncomfortable with your presence.

When he saw that you weren't leaving, his eyes narrowed and looked over at you. When you made eye contact again, you gave him a small smile before speaking again. "Are you alright..? What... what happened-? With everything and everyone."

He rolled his eyes at the question, deciding to give short and dry answers. "A lot has happened." Your shoulders slumped slightly, not really knowing what else you expected. Certainly not a hug and a sermon explaining all events, but not this.

"I'm‐" you paused, eyes looking down at the grass and carefully ripping some of it off as you wondered how to phrase it. "I'm really sorry for leaving, Quackity. I.. I didn't think so much would happen in my absence. Especially to you." You looked up, eyes instinctively going to stare at the scar that now rested on his face.

His brown eyes met yours, examining you and taking in the apology. There was silence for a moment before he let out a shaky sigh. "You don't know half the shit I went through. Without you here." A pang of guilt struck your chest as he averted his eyes from you.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry for leaving you, Quackity. I wouldn't have if I knew they'd.. that.. that this would happen." You stumbled on your words, anxiousness and guilt eating at you as you saw his expressions morph between pain, anger, and sadness.

He remained silent for a bit before shaking his head, "Well, can't really change the past, can we? What's done is done." His voice sounded stoic, face now void of any expression. You opened your mouth to respond but quickly closed it as you watched him begin to stand up.

A slight panic ran through you as you stumbled onto your feet as well. Too slow, though, Quackity was already on his way to who knows where. You were left to stare at his back once again.

There was a warmth spreading through your chest that you hadn't acknowledged until now. He had spoken to you, he'd taken the time to listen to what you had to say rather than shutting you out completely like before. Was this progress?

Didn't matter, because that's exactly what you were gonna call it. And this certainly wasn't the last he'd be seeing of you.

–

"Where has he been staying?" You asked as you took a sip of the drink offered to you by Puffy.

"None of us are really sure. He kind of dropped off the face of the SMP after Karl and the rest of 'em left." She was once again speaking of this as if it was the most casual of topics. Known to everybody but you. That was probably true.

Karl and the rest of them. Was that referring to Sapnap and George? That meant he didn't tag along with them, which told that he'd been off on his own. Had he really been alone this whole time?

You'd left, thinking he'd be okay with his friends. Only for him to be left with battle scars, and those very friends being the ones to leave him as well. A small frown etched itself onto your face as you thought of how difficult it must've been. Just imagining him out there on his own was enough to make your skin crawl and your heart shatter. It wasn't right at all.

"So you don't know where he's staying? He just made an appearance at Bad's banquet by chance?"

She took a moment to think before responding, "Not sure exactly where he lives, but I know the general area of where he hangs out. Seen him there multiple times." She paused and looked you up and down before giving a pitiful look. "Do you plan on continuing to seek him out?"

You nodded your head without hesitation. "Yes. I missed him terribly and just hearing what's happened, and seeing how it left him.. I want to fix things with him." There was a determined look on your face, huge contrast to the worried look Puffy was now giving you.

It went unnoticed by you though, too focused on getting Quackity to smile again. To hand him the happiness he deserves.

–

The third time your paths crossed was near the area you'd last found him. He was sharpening his sword, too preoccupied to notice you approaching again. This time, you alerted him of your presence at a safe distance, not wanting to accidentally get stabbed.

His eyes met yours, full of surprise before going stoic again. You smiled and waved lightly as you approached. You took a seat near him once again, basking in the silence, no other greeting given by either of you.

To you, this was progress. He wasn't necessarily welcoming you with open arms, but he wasn't telling you to fuck off either. You busied yourself with the grass beneath you, gently ripping out some grass blades, and occasionally glancing towards him.

The glances were mutual, you'd catch him glancing towards you every once in a while, eyes quickly averting after getting caught. A small smile appeared on your lips as you continued looking around.

It wasn't long before you realized it was getting dark. His attention was still on the sword, glances still happening here and there, as if the words would die on his tongue if he dared to break the silence. This gave you the confidence to speak again.

"It's getting dark. How much longer will you be out here?" You tilted your head slightly, eyes focused on him. His eyes met yours for a split second, probably startled by your voice.

He looked down at his sword before looking out at the sky. "Not sure. Almost done with this, so.. maybe until then." His voice sounded heavenly to your ears. This entire afternoon had been spent in peaceful silence, so it was a welcome change.

"Then.. I'll stick around until you're done." You declared, a small smile on your lips as you watched him. He raised a brow before rolling his eyes.

"You don't have to. I don't know why you stuck around this long in the first place." He murmered, eyes focusing back on the sword that rested on his lap.

"Because I wanted to spend time with you." You admitted, voice small.

It was physically difficult to actually voice your thoughts and intentions, especially after realizing it might upset him, no matter how true your words were.

You were unfortunately right.

He looked up, attention no longer on his sword, instead on you. There was a look of disbelief on his face. "Stop." He stated, a tone that told you it was a warning, that he wasn't messing around. But you had to push, take your chances. A gamble, perhaps.

"I mean it." You responded, not missing a beat. The tension slowly rose between you two, eyes not parting from each other. You watched as the peaceful look left his eyes, replaced with pure frustration.

"Just because you're here now doesn't mean it makes up for the shit you did. Being here won't win me back, it won't make me forgive you, so stop wasting your fucking time."

He was pushing you away again. Maybe silence would've lead to a happier end to the day. Maybe you both could've silently parted ways once it got darker, but instead you were sat across from each other, tension rising and hearts beating fast against chests.

"I just‐" you paused, gently biting the inside of your cheek, looking for a way to phrase it, but coming back empty-handed. "I miss you." It was out, he knew now, and your heart was left exposed, bare and fragile. He could break it any second now.

He scoffed, before standing up and carefully putting away his sword. He didn't dare respond, gaze leaving yours and instead focusing on the path to wherever he seemed to call home.

You watched him leave, an activity that you seemed to be doing often recently, before falling onto your back and letting out a groan of frustration. Your hands came to cover your eyes, gently rubbing at them, mentally telling yourself not to cry. It would be okay.

His current attitude would not scare you away. You'd continue trying, show him that you really did care, and weren't planning on leaving again. Maybe he'd see your efforts and consider giving you a second chance, perhaps he wouldn't. You were hoping the first choice was the outcome.

–

Quackity fell onto his bed with a loud thud, hands going to cover his face in frustration. He wasn't sure what to do, but he did feel a bit bad about lashing out on you everytime you'd interacted with him. The first time he'd seen you again, he felt a warmth spread across his chest. He was happy to see you again, but the harsh truth of your absence when he needed you most made the moment bittersweet.

To him, it seemed dumb that you were trying to reconnect with him. Why, after disappearing for so long, and leaving him behind just like how everybody else he cared about had done.

What if he let you back in, and you left again? He didn't think he could handle that pain again. Hearing you say you missed him had been his breaking point. His immediate response was to push as hard as he could, get you to leave before he could get attached again. If he was alone, he wouldn't have to worry about anybody leaving him.

But as he lay in bed, hands shielding him from the bright lights that illuminated the room, he took in the tone of your voice. How small it had sounded when you admitted you missed him. He thought about how you'd approached him three times now, even if he pushed you away. Would you still come back? Even after he basically told you to stop wasting your time with him? He didn't know.

It was far too much thinking for him. At least for tonight. He quietly admired the sharpness of his sword before turning off the lights and deciding to finally get some rest.

–

His questions were answered the next time he was out and about. He'd been on his way to a shop when he caught sight of you sitting at a table with a small bag settled on top. He averted his eyes and continued walking before he heard the sound of your voice, calling out to him.

He was surprised, to say the least. He looked over at you, saw you waving him over, pointing at the bag with a small smile. He hesitated, unsure if he could even face you after what had happened last time, but slowly made his way over anyway.

"Hi." You greeted, soft smile still on your lips as he came closer. "Sit." You gestured to the seat across from your own. You'd been out shopping and had stopped for some snacks along the way. You were resting at the table but luckily caught sight of him and figured this was a chance to talk to him again.

He looked down at the seat before hesitantly sitting down. "Hi." He said back, not nearly as confident as yours had sounded. You signaled at the bag, opening it and showing him the freshly baked pastries you'd picked up not too long ago. "Want one?" You offered.

Simply opening the bag gave out a pleasant smell, and it made it difficult to resist a pastry, even if it meant having to sit with you for a moment. He reached into the bag, taking one before slightly bowing his head. "Thank you." He simply stated, before taking a bite of the pastry.

The sight warmed your heart. It reminded you of the times you'd both share a meal, it could be anywhere, but any food either of you had would be shared with laughs and jokes interrupting each bite. It reminded you of when he didn't have any resentment towards you.

"Is it good?" You asked, and he only gave a small nod, hand covering his mouth in an attempt to chew politely. You smiled at that before letting a small sigh escape your lips. "I'm sorry about last time. It was probably fucked up on my part to suddenly push that on you."

He paused, eyes not leaving his hands as he processed what you'd just said. Were you really apologizing? After he'd been an asshole to you at every encounter. He looked up at you before reaching into the bag again for another pastry, out of habit and familiarity with moments like these back then.

"I'm sorry too." He started, avoiding eye contact. "I was a bit mean, and maybe you didn't really deserve it." His eyes went towards yours, wanting to see a reaction after receiving nothing but silence.

He was met with the sight of a warm smile on your face, he could feel the warmth you were radiating from where he was seated.

"You don't have to apologize to me, Quackity. I understand why you reacted that way. I do wish you'd see I mean the things I say though. Really." He took another bite out of the pastry before slowly nodding, notifying you that he was listening to what you were saying.

This could definitely be counted as progress, right? You were sharing a snack with him, and he'd apologized even if he didn't need to. The thought alone returned the smile to your face as you leaned onto your hand and stared at him quietly.

"What?" He said after a moment, staring back at you. You shrugged, "Just happy to see you again."

His cheeks flushed slightly, perhaps out of embarrassment, not used to your sappy self after months of its absence. His state made you let out a chuckle as you reached over to grab a pastry as well.

You two shared the pastries and a few other snacks you'd bought for some time until he stated he had to go get what he wanted in the first place, before you'd called him over and asked him to sit with you. You nodded and waved him goodbye, telling him it was nice seeing him again, to which he reacted to by averting his eyes and walking away. You smiled to yourself as you watched him leave. Progress.

–

After the reconciliation through pastries, you'd crossed paths with Quackity a few more times, each being less tense than the last.

Days passed where you'd cross paths with each other, and it gave you the opportunity to make conversation, maybe pester him for an hour or two, subtly letting him know that you were here to stay. To which he responded by pushing.

Quackity pushed you away as much as he could at first, but with each passing day it became more and more evident that he was softening up. It was progress. He was getting accustomed to your company again, and he wasn't really pushing you away either.

It had taken a while to get to where you currently were, but you'd do it a million times over just to spend time with him again. To be this close to him, like you used to be.

You were giving him your undivided attention as he spilled what had happened during your absence, and it was taking everything in your power to not immediately wrap your arms around him. Hearing everything he'd been through, how others had treated him, how he got his scars, and how he was left behind.. it was all so, so infuriating. It made you mad at yourself, most of all.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would've been different if you hadn't left. Perhaps you could've fought alongside him, stopped any harm from coming his way. Perhaps you could've provided him with company when he felt so alone, like the world would swallow him whole.

It definitely would've been different if you hadn't left.

But there was no point in dwelling over the past, is what you told yourself. What mattered now was that you were here, sitting across from him as he opened up to you for the first time in so long. He looked so vulnerable, eyes never meeting yours as he spoke of his experiences. You couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be.

When he finished, he finally looked up at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth out of anxiousness and sadness. You scoot closer, noticing him visibly tense and relax, all within a few seconds. Your movements were slow, as to not scare him away.

You lifted your hand towards his face, as you had during one of your first encounters, and slowly moved it closer. "Can I?" You said, voice timid. He gave a small nod, and you gently cupped his face, thumb rubbing gentle circles onto his cheek before softly tracing over the scar. It felt oddly intimate, being this close to him, being able to touch him after so many months of yearning his presence.

You could feel his body tense, not used to anyone doing this in quite some time. But after a bit, his eyes closed and he melted into your hand, letting you gently caress his cheek and his scar. You came closer, body close to his. You could feel the body heat coming off of him, oh how you'd missed the feeling.

The sensation alone threatened to bring tears to your eyes. He was really here, the Quackity you missed and loved. He'd let you back in.

"I'm so sorry, Quackity. So sorry you went through this. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me. I'm right here." You reassured, continuing to draw small circles on his cheek with your thumb. His eyes looked up to meet yours, and you could feel your heart stop at the sight of his pretty eyes. He was tearing up too.

You gave him a small smile before wrapping your arms around him. All composure had left you, too preoccupied with comforting the man who'd experienced too much pain and suffering.

Your breath hitched as you felt his arms wrap around you as well, tight. The fear of being abandoned clear with the way his arms held onto you for dear life. Your shoulder felt wet, but you didn't care one bit. This was everything you'd hoped for since you first laid eyes on him again. His company, and his forgiveness. For him to know you'd be here, and wouldn't leave anymore.

After what felt like decades, you finally pulled away, eyeing him over to ensure he was alright before gently cupping his face again. This time with both hands, you wiped away any remaining tears, giving him a small smile to tell him it'd be okay from now on.

He seemed ashamed, perhaps he felt too vulnerable. You lightly directed his gaze back on you before leaning in and placing a small kiss on his cheek where the tear stains had been. You watched as his eyes fluttered shut, an invitation for you to continue. And so you did, placing small kisses all over his face, lips gently ghosting over his scar, giving him the affection he'd yearned for.

This continued for a bit before he let out a shaky sigh. You gave him a worried look, to which he simply shook his head. "It's nothing, just.. taking all of this in." You visibly relaxed at the sight of a small smile on his lips. "I can't believe you're actually here. That you came back and dealt with my shitty attitude just to get back to how we used to be."

"You had your reasons to react that way, please don't blame yourself." You responded calmly, thumb continuing to rub soothing circles onto his cheek. "Plus.. you know I'm not giving up on you, right? No matter how much you try and push me away." You grinned at him, to which he rolled his eyes.

"You're very persistent, I'll give you that." He said, relaxing further into your touch. "I'm.. I'm glad you didn't give up on me."

The grin softened into a small smile. "I could never. How about we head back to your place. You hungry?" To which he only gave a small nod as an answer. You stood, extending your hand for him to grab in order for him to get up.

Once he was up, he didn't let go, and neither did you, which made you beam at him before letting him lead the way back to what he now called home. You both walked hand in hand, no further talking needed. Once you both got there, a small dinner was made, followed by the softest and comfiest cuddles either of you had gotten in a long, long time.

—

Every single moment leading up to this was worth it. You sat in a flower field in the SMP, currently undisturbed by any of the other residents, with Quackity's head resting on your lap. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, fixing any strands that managed to poke out of his beanie after he put it on, and simply enjoying the view.

And that isn't in reference to the flower field. He looked stunning, basking in the sun with the cutest smile on his face, trying to take a nap as you made small conversation here and there, telling him about something meaningless Puffy had told you during one of her visits.

Prior to this very moment, both of you had been enjoying a picnic at this very field you were currently at. And now, you were just enjoying each other's presence. As he rested his head on your lap, you took a moment to look at all the flowers around you two.

There was a poppy nearby, the red on the petals stood out to you. Carefully picking it off its place on the soil, you made sure it was clean before gently tucking it behind his ear. The red stood out wonderfully against his skin and dark black hair.

His eyes soon opened, a confused look etched onto his face as he wondered what you'd just done. His hand reached up to gently pat the spot before stopping completely at the feeling of the flower. A small smile appeared on his lips, before he playfully rolled his eyes. You smiled back at him as he carefully sat up, not wanting the flower to fall off.

"It looks cute on you." You murmered, focused on the way the red looked in his hair. He hummed, bringing your attention back towards him. He was picking a poppy off the ground as well, lazily handing it over to you. Even with his tired smile on his face, he still looked so cute.

You smiled, taking it from his grasp. "Thank you." You quirked up, leaning in and placing a delicate kiss onto his lips, his lips moving perfectly against yours. You pulled away with a content smile before falling back onto the blanket you'd both been sitting on.

He mirrored your actions, falling back as well. You both stared up at the sky for a few moments before his gaze fell back on you. At the feeling of a gaze on you, you turned to look at him as well.

"What?"

"Thank you."

Warmth was radiating within you at that very moment. The person who meant the absolute most to you, the one who'd been through so much, was finally able to smile again. He was able to breathe freely, he was free of all his worries.

Quackity deserved the world, he deserved to feel safe and needed, wanted. And you were more than willing to risk and give everything you could in order to provide that. But for now, cuddles, kisses, and a nap under a bright blue sky would suffice for the both of you.

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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Sovereign Talks (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil Genre: Bit of angst sandwiched between two pieces of fluff Rating: T for language Notes: Another partially/selectively mute reader story! Again, this is somewhat self indulgent, essentially being a self-insert story with edits to make it better for a wider audience. PS Daniela says some stuff that's kinda insulting, though it's out of misunderstanding rather than poor intentions, and she tries to make up for it. Also, some of the descriptions of the reader's muteness might not make sense to everyone, as I'm essentially describing how it feels for me, personally. Summary: Daniela's favorite servant is sweet, charming, eager to please, all the things she wants from a romantic partner. But there's one detail she's never quite understood. An argument, a discussion, an inevitability.

Try as you might, it was nigh impossible to please your employer. No matter what you did, there was always something wrong, and Daniela Dimitrescu was more than pleased to point it out to you. At least her intentions weren’t severe. It didn’t really bother her if you missed a spot while dusting, or if you accidentally stumbled upon a ‘private’ conversation. What mattered to her, at the end of the day, was having material to tease you with, or ‘bargain’ with. She’d approach you slowly, musing out loud about your chores. Then she’d point out a flaw, smirking ever so slightly, before placing a finger beneath your chin. You’d make awkward eye contact, desperate to get out of the situation.

And then she’d tell you exactly what she wanted from you.

Most days it was simple enough. Or at least it had been at the start, when she first sought you out. ‘Carry these books for me’, she’d say, beckoning you to follow her. ‘Make a copy of this poem so I can return the book to Duke’, she’d command. Every single time you were powerless to refuse. Hell, you couldn’t even say anything if you wanted to. So you did as she asked. In time, you came to realize the truth behind her actions, the center of her motivations: She wanted to spend time with you.

You had been baffled, at first, to connect the dots in such a way. But Daniela made no attempt to hide her feelings, letting her touches linger on your skin, smiling without any cruelty when you were near. Once, she had even covered for you after you broke a vase. When you had tried to protest, hands waving, mouth refusing to speak, she had shrugged you off with a simple ‘you are worth the price’. Ever since then, the two of you had been rather close. Sure, she had never officially asked you on a date, but she had held your hand while the two of you read. And she had held you, swaying back and forth, as music played in a distant room. Then there were the times she caught you in the corridor, pressing you against the wall for a quick kiss… or a long one, that is. Certainly that meant something? Otherwise you’d look quite silly, blushing as hard as you tended to.

Eventually your concerns subsided considerably. It took a long, difficult conversation, however, and an argument you’d never forget…

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“Have you read Crier’s War yet?” Daniela asked, looking at you over her own book. The two of you were in her personal study, near the library, lounging in peaceful quiet. Well, it had been quiet. At her question you glance up, ensuring you made eye contact before shaking your head no. “I think you’d like it. Impossible love between two people from vastly different cultures, who start out opposed… sounds familiar, hmm?” This time you nod, laughing a little under your breath. Then you’re returning to your novel, oblivious to the way your partner is watching you, her eyes narrowed. When she catches your attention once more, it’s with a question you had hoped she would never ask. “Why don’t you talk?”

Trying to hide your discomfort, you practically bury your nose in your book, refusing to look up at Daniela. In response she grabs your notepad, slowly sliding it closer to you. For every second of silence she moves it another centimeter. With a slight groan you give in, snatching it from her hands, but sending her a glare as you do. Quickly you grab your pen and scrawl her a note. Not an answer, rather a question of your own.

“Why does it matter?” Clearly that wasn’t what she was looking for, as she leans back and gives a groan of her own.

“Seriously? I’m just curious. You can laugh, groan, make other, nice little noises… I just want to know how you work,” Daniela explained, frowning all the while. Admittedly, you understand where she’s coming from. But that didn’t mean that you were terribly comfortable with this conversation. In fact, it’s a subject you’ve been dreading ever since the two of you started ‘dating’. How exactly were you supposed to explain your condition? Especially without being able to talk directly through it?

“It’s complicated,” you write, angling the paper so Daniela can read it from her side of the table. But she only spares it a quick glance, before staring hard at you again. “Fine, babe. My mouth feels like static. My tongue is heavy, and trying to talk is like walking when both your legs are asleep. There’s never not a lump in my throat.” Now she’s reading attentively, frown vanishing, replaced by a confused expression. Shifting awkwardly, you internally pray that she doesn’t have any follow up questions. Alas, there are no gods on your side this day.

“Did something happen? Or were you… born like this?” Daniela asked, watching you closely. Frustrated, you give her a pleading look, hoping that she’d get the message and back off. Instead she doubles down. “We could arrange for a doctor to come out here, if that’s what you need. All you have to do is tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t expect you to understand. It’s a multifaceted issue, and-” you have to turn the page to continue writing at this point- “a very personal one. But if you must know, it has to do with my anxiety.” There’s a pause, and for a few seconds you think the conversation is over. The relief that floods your chest only lasts a single moment. Then you’re face to face with Daniela, who’s leaning across the table, eyeing you with an expression you can’t make sense of. Now your heart is racing, leaving you trembling.

“So… it’s not a matter of whether or not you can talk at all? It’s a choice?” Daniela questioned, sounding aggravated. Instantly you’re shaking your head, scowling at her interpretation of your words. “What, you’re saying you can’t even relax enough to talk around me? Your fucking girlfriend?” This was exactly the sort of thing you had been worried about. How could you expect Daniela to understand the way your mind locked your jaw in place? How could she ever realize how terrifying the whole castle was?

“Calm down and let me elaborate, please,” you write, as fast as you can. But Daniela yanks your notebook away from you, tossing it to the side. All you can do is stare at her in shock. This was more than just a misunderstanding, this was her actively sabotaging your only reliable method of communication.

“You want me to calm down? Can’t you see why I’m upset? I just found out my partner isn’t comfortable around me. We could have been talking all this goddamn time! Why haven’t you told me this before? Why haven’t we worked on this?” Daniela was practically yelling now, and both of you had risen to your feet. You’ve backed away a meter or so, only for her to close the space between you, one hand cupping your cheek. No matter how hard you try, you can’t bring yourself to look her in her eyes. “C’mon, please,” she whispered, voice barely audible. Tears are starting to cloud your vision. “Say something. Anything.”

Wordlessly, you pull yourself from her grasp, too overwhelmed to do anything other than let your feet carry you out of the room. Half to your relief, half to your misery, Daniela doesn’t lift a finger to stop you.

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Two weeks. That’s how long it had been since you ‘talked’ to Daniela. Ever since, she had been avoiding you, and you her. Hell, for three days you struggled more than usual to communicate with anyone because you hadn’t dared to go back for your notebook. In the end someone had found you a new one. It didn’t quite feel the same though, considering your normal one had been a gift… a gift from the very person who had taken it away from you. For two weeks it had felt like every single thing was another reminder of your loneliness. You wanted desperately to fix your situation, but had no clue where to even begin. Until an irritated Cassandra hatched a devious plan, that is.

You weren’t privy to the specific details of her scheme, and could only guess as to her motivations (presumably being annoyed by Daniela’s sulking). All you really knew was that one moment you were following the middle child, supposedly to assist her with organizing something, and the next you were being shoved in an unfamiliar room. Inside, Bela was trying to stall Daniela, making up a ridiculous excuse for her to be there. As soon as you entered, the eldest daughter made a beeline (flyline?) towards the exit. Before either you or your girlfriend could process what was happening, the door had been shut and locked, trapping the two of you within.

“What the fuck?” Daniela asked, temporarily ignoring you in favor of pounding on the door. It didn’t budge, unsurprisingly, but someone outside did yell in response. Not that you could make out what the muffled voice was saying. “Ugh, I swear I am going to kill them for this.” Unable to get out, she finally turns to look at you. In an instant the anger drains from her face, replaced with a bittersweet smile. There’s enough tension in the room to weigh the corners of your lips down. It’s getting harder to breathe, and you can’t quite look Daniela in the eyes. “Hey. Hey, c’mon, if they’re going to be assholes, we might as well make the most of it, right?” She asked, voice a million times softer than you would have expected, considering your previous conversation. With that she moves to sit down, gesturing for you to join her.

“Mmm?” You ‘say’, really just making a confused humming sound. For once, you do want to talk. More than any other time you’ve wanted to. But your tongue was caught in the bear trap your teeth represented, preventing almost any sound from escaping. Still, this is a side of Daniela that you do not often see, with how prideful she tended to be. All it takes to get you to move is for her to pat the spot next to her. Then you’re shifting, blushing hard as you lower yourself onto the couch. Not quite ready to meet her gaze, you stare at your thumbs, twiddling them like an anxious child.

“Bela seems to think that I’ve made a fool of myself in front of you,” Daniela mused, more to herself than to you. One of her hands slides towards you, however, eagerly intertwining her fingers with your own. After two whole weeks of isolation… it’s an amazing feeling. “I said something stupid. It’s been driving me mad, and I have no clue what to do about it. Fuck-” she flinches as she speaks, eyes clamping shut- “I just want to fix this. I want you to feel good around me. I want you to feel the same way I do. More than anything, I want to be your safe haven.”

Your eyes meet, finally, as warmth floods your chest. Words fail you, as they are wont to do, so you leave them behind. Instead you reach for your stars- the body of your girlfriend, pulling yourself into her arms. Even as tears drip down your cheeks, you are smiling softly, overwhelmed by the embrace. Soon enough you can feel Daniela rubbing soft circles into your back with her fingers. She presses a gentle kiss to the side of your head, enjoying the hug too much to pull back even the slightest bit.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything to make you more comfortable?” She asked, for a moment not even realizing the difficulty you would have with responding. Finally connecting the dots, she changes the position of her arms, ensuring that you could stay in her lap while still being able to gesture with your hands. Instead of replying, your first concern is to gently cup your girlfriend’s cheek. Then you place a kiss on her forehead. “You’re my everything, you know that, right?” Daniela whispered, sounding almost in awe. Suddenly you’re possessed by a rush of courage, clearly bolstered by her affection, and you move without thinking. You lean back in for another kiss, hand moving to the back of her head for stability.

Both of you are smiling now, even as your kiss gets more intense, the two of you pressing against each other as best as you can. One of Daniela’s hands runs itself through your hair, before taking it in a loose grip. All you can think about is how right this feels. Your heart is racing, especially as your girlfriend switches to an open mouth kiss, letting her tongue slide across your lips. It catches you off guard, and you need to pull back to catch the breath she had so eagerly stolen. Even then you swear you can feel her pulse pounding just as hard as yours is.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” Daniela murmured, embarrassed, worried that you had stopped for a very different reason. In response you shake your head a little, then practically smother her face in tiny kisses. She’s giggling at that, grinning, all of her anxiety fading away. Most of yours does too. Everything feels perfect. So much so, in fact, that you feel something you haven’t felt in almost an entire year: The loosening of your jaw muscles. Clarity unstiffens your tongue, making age-old static clear up. Can I…? You wonder, wanting so desperately to use this opportunity as best as you can. After all, who knew when you’d ever be this comfortable within the castle again. Hell, the thought alone makes you more nervous, and you struggle to think of something, anything, to say.

“L-l… Love,” you stuttered, barely getting the syllable out, mouth feeling incredibly dry, mind racing, hating how it sounds because holy shit you haven’t talked in a year and was Daniela going to hate your voice and forget all about what you were saying and ruin the moment or worse was she going to hate you or thoughts thoughts pounding in your head like a hurricane, because because because-......................... Anxiety, above all else, was an asshole. One that had prevented you from hundreds of conversations, and limited a thousand more. Now, moments after finally speaking, your mind is on the brink of a tear-worthy breakdown. But you’ve said your piece, and by God has it been received.

“Yes, absolutely, fuck baby, I love you so much!” Daniela cried, equally overwhelmed, for a far different reason. She’s holding you as close as she can, burying her face in your neck. Likewise you rest yourself against her, letting your eyes drift shut, happy beyond description. There were still things you had to talk about, yes, and you would once more have to rely on your trusty notebook. Daniela had a lot to learn, to understand, but this was a start. More than that, it was the first step after the mending of a broken bone. Everything to come would be far, far easier, a labor of love done fearlessly.

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“Should we open the door now? Or at least unlock it?... How long does it take two idiots to stop being mad at each other?” Cassandra asked, leaning against the hallway wall. Meanwhile Bela had her ear to the door, straining to hear what was going on within. Sure, she had gone along with her younger sister’s plan, but she hadn’t been entirely convinced that it wouldn’t end in disaster. Then again, so far so good. No yelling, no (loud) crying, just some quiet words from Daniela. Maybe they’re working things out, Bela thought, starting to smile. And then she heard something she’d never forget…

“Yes, absolutely, fuck baby, I love you so much!”

“We are not opening that door,” Bela replied, suddenly, her ears burning red. She didn’t know how things had gone from so quiet to so potentially dirty in such a short amount of time, and she did not care. Without even a hint of an explanation, she turned to leave, desperate to get certain mental images out of her head...

#daniela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x reader #resident evil: village #re8 village #yes the ending is a bit of a joke #ps i know it might not be everyone's cup of tea #especially since the reader does end up saying something #i went back and forth on that part for awhile #but again this is really self indulgent #and personally it worked better for me??#like i can occasionally force myself to say something even when my mouth isn't cooperating #and if anyone can make me do that it's someone i love #like my best friend who i kind of also loved romantically at one point #this is a literal example #anyway enjoy

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jungblue · 4 years

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aphrodite in war | 01

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: comedy, fluff, angst, eventual smut / greek life, fake dating, roommates, lovers to enemies and back to lovers au

word count: 11,022

description: Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle... Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

note: here is an audio post of a beautiful song with lyrics inspired by AiW, which was written by one of my lovely readers!

→ part 02

Hostility bleeds deep. The rivers of resentment collide violently as they carve a divide so saturated in disdain between the parties involved that you don’t even need to be told that there is something more to the story. It doesn’t need to be said out loud, but is just instinctively felt.

You didn’t need to be told that the ominous house at the end of street was sketchy and should be avoided at all cost; you just knew it. You didn’t need to be told that there was bad blood between the guy and girl whose jaws suddenly stiffened as their lips transformed into a firm, straight line when they caught sight of each other at a party; you just knew it — And you most certainly didn’t need to be told that there was an absolute war brewing at the end of Greek Drive between the Tri Delts and Lambdas; you just fucking knew it.

In the beginning, their rivalry was small. It was simple antics such as egging each other’s houses or fucking around with the letters that they so proudly displayed on their lawns. But then it turned a bit more intense. Egging the houses turned into spray-painting them and fucking with the letters on their lawns turned into completely trashing each other’s lawns. It was because of this that the once harmless pranks turned infamous. Everything that happened between their houses had constantly been circulated around campus for the past two years, or at the very least among their Greek counterparts… Which was probably how the two newly inducted presidents of Delta Delta Delta and Lambda Phi Epsilon, on the very first week of their final year in college, found themselves sitting in the office of a much higher power than their own titles — The president of their university; a single word spilling past his lips that had their stomachs twisting.

“Suspension!?” They both yelled in disbelief.

It was a word no organization wanted to hear. It branded your chapters with a shame that would be painted across the local news stations and even across the country. The lines would blur, only to lump them in with those terrible hazing stories that constantly flooded the media.

“P-president Kwon,” Jungkook finally stuttered out after a moment of coming to terms with the seriousness of the situation they were being faced with. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I promise the very... minor pranks that go on between our houses are probably much less problematic than what you’re thinking.”

“Mr. Jeon, do you think that we would threaten something of such dramatic action without several instances of confirmed proof?” President Kwon asked in a clipped tone as he leaned forward in his chair.

You could see the way that Jungkook blanched next to you, clearly not expecting this harsh treatment from President Kwon. Lambda Phi Epsilon happened to be President Kwon’s former fraternity, so it was well known that there was a good relationship there. However, in this moment you could make out nothing except for a glaring, red warning shining off the president’s ice-cold eyes.

“I — no, sir,” Jungkook whispered, dropping his head slightly to hide the sudden flush of red that was rushing to his face.

“It is more embarrassing than I can possibly describe to the two of you, receiving dozens upon dozens of phone calls and emails over the incidents involving your organizations. Garbage littering every inch of your front yards, obscene images drawn onto your houses, several instances of animal control having to be called due to rodents being set free in the house as a… as a prank? All of this is happening while visits from prospective students and their parents are being conducted. Donors who help this school are wandering the campus and seeing it. Tell me, did the incidents I just mentioned not actually transpire, Mr. Jeon? Ms. Y/L/N?”

The air was so stiff that you barely managed a shaky inhale in order to respond to the juvenile antics being laid out before you. “No, th-they did transpire, sir. And I don’t know what to say besides that I’m so, so sorry that we’ve embarrassed the university this way.” You bit at the inside of your cheek, President Kwon’s relentless glare of disappointment cutting you through and through.

“Yes, so completely sorry,” Jungkook added.

Nothing was said for a few moments after that. It seemed President Kwon wanted to make the two of you squirm for everything that you had done, and it was definitely working. Every movement made you feel self-conscious, the judgement permeating the office air felt as if it were sticking to your skin.

“I know that what we’ve done is completely unacceptable, President Kwon,” You began, not being able to take the silence anymore. “But I promise if you give us just one more chance, we’ll clean up our acts. No more pranks, just cordial neighbors. As the new presidents of our chapters this year, we’ll make sure the members understand that this behavior isn’t something that will be tolerated anymore.”

Jungkook was nodding his head next to you in agreeance. But once again the room was plunged into silence. It was honestly torture, sitting there under such scrutiny as someone held something so dear to you in the palm of their hand. It would break your heart if the suspension actually went through… Considering it was yours and Jungkook’s fault that tensions had gotten to where they were in the first place. The bad blood between the two of you had seeped into the minds of your members as well, which was ultimately how it got so ugly. But it had gotten especially bad this year now that you were the respective presidents of each of your houses and had allowed things to escalate further. Harsh feelings between two people couldn’t do much damage, but when it was dozens versus dozens, well that was when things got messy.

Eventually though you found yourself being pulled back to reality. President Kwon cleared his throat, the sound making your heart stutter in your chest as you prepared yourself for the worst.

“You’re exactly right. It won’t be tolerated any longer.” He paused for a moment, probably for the added effect of letting anxiety seize its way around your lungs. “Probation for the next three months. One more incident and it’s over. Do you understand?”

At that there was a simultaneous sigh of relief from you and Jungkook as the looming consequence faded… At least for now.

“Thank you so much, President Kwon.” Jungkook stood from his chair, reaching across the table to shake his hand. “I promise we won’t mess this up.”

You lifted yourself up from your chair as well, following his lead. “Yes, we promise.”

“I hope that’s true,” Is all President Kwon responded with as he led the two of you towards the door of his office. “Take care.”

With rather mumbled and rushed goodbyes you exited his office, the two of you shuffling quickly down the hallway until you were sure you were out of earshot. Both of you stopped as you turned the corner, insults already resting on the tips of your tongues.

“This is all your fucking fault!” You yelled in a hushed whisper.

“My fault!?” He whispered back, equally as intense. “You’re the one who started this shit, Y/N. No one would even be fighting if you hadn’t opened your mouth to your friends.”

“I was just venting to them! I had no idea that they would go and actually do something about it. And it was a harmless prank. They planted fucking flowers in front of your house for god’s sake, and your loser friends retaliated by digging holes in our yard. You guys are the ones who escalated it, and now it’s this out of control thing that’s going to get our chapters suspended!” Your chest was rising and falling, anger boiling inside of your blood. You had never even partaken in any of the antics that had gone on between the two houses nor had you baited any of your members into participating.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, tongue pressing at the inside of his cheek. “You know what? It’s whatever. We’ve been arguing about this for two years now, so I’m not expecting you to be reasonable any time soon.”

Your fists clenched at your sides, the painful reminder of how long this had been going on searing a deep cut across your chest. But it was like Jungkook had said, this had been going on for a long time and there was no point in arguing about who was right, because it wasn’t as if it actually mattered. So instead, you just didn’t respond. You stared at him for a moment, sneer fading into this sad downward turn of your lips. And surprisingly you watched the way his expression softened as well. His brows were furrowing a little less, his jaw not as hard and brooding.

You gave him a tiny nod before you turned away and headed towards the exit. It was a few seconds before you heard his footsteps start to follow you. Every time his sneakers would squeak against the linoleum floor behind you, it felt like this tiny pressure was beginning to build at the base of your throat. You weren’t sure why you still got these feelings of… longing, even after all of this passed time. It was pathetic. Jungkook apparently didn’t long for anything from back then, so why did you?

Eventually you were able to breathe a little clearer once you pushed your way through the exit and away from the tight and tense space of faculty meetings and suspension threats. The fresh air filled your rattled lungs — too bad it was murky and humid beneath the gray storm clouds that were currently drowning the campus in a depressing drizzle.

“Goddammit,” You muttered beneath your breath.

You didn’t drive here since this building had been so close to your last class of the day. The Tri Delt house was about a ten minute walk from here, so it looked like you needed to get going before the light sprinkle of rain turned into a thunderstorm. You were about to step out from underneath the overhead of the roof and down the steps when you felt a light tug of someone pulling at the back of the belt loop on your jeans.

“Do you need a ride?” Jungkook asked before you had even turned around to fully face him. His expression was neutral. It didn’t seem annoyed or concerned, but he had always been good at hiding his emotions like that.

Of course you didn’t want to walk home in the rain, but sitting in a confined space with Jungkook after you’d both just gotten done yelling at one another didn’t seem like the greatest time either. But in the end, you decided that a few minutes wouldn’t kill you. “Yeah, I guess,” You whispered, motioning for him to go ahead so you could follow. His car was parked in one of the first spots at the bottom of the steps. You were both silent as you opened the doors and climbed inside.

It was weird. You hadn’t been in Jungkook’s car in years. You watched him pull out of the parking space, one hand on the wheel, the other leaning against the center console. It felt all too familiar. You blew a heady sigh past your lips, hands wringing in your lap. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed, the tension between you and him never seemed to lessen. It was a constant, palpable stiffness in the air.

“Do you think we’ll be able to get them to stop fighting?” Jungkook finally asked once they turned onto Greek Drive, giving some mild relief to the strain that the two of you were so highly aware of.

“If suspension doesn’t do it, then I honestly don’t know what would.”

He nodded, seeming to agree. “Yeah, I’m sure they’ll cut it out.”

“Yeah, they can’t be that dumb—” However, your words seemed to disintegrate along your tongue as the car approached the Lambda and Tri Delt houses that stood side by side.

“Jesus Christ,” Jungkook muttered, pulling into the driveway which currently had a Lambda named Jimin running down it towards his truck that was completely covered in saran-wrap and a laughing Tri Delt named Joy who was holding said saran-wrap.

“Get back here and take this shit off my truck right now!” You heard Jimin yell.

“Nope, I’m good.” She smiled, shrugging and taunting him as she jogged away.

“This… This might be harder than we thought,” You said.

Jungkook rested his head against the steering wheel, eyes closed. “Yeah, way fucking harder.”

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It was several mass group texts later, demanding that every Lambda and Tri Delt come to their houses immediately, that all forty-two members of the combined organizations who actually lived in-house finally arrived… Yeah, there was no way that this could go terribly wrong or anything… Right?

You and Jungkook stood in front of the members as they gathered on the grassy area that separated your two houses. As expected there were dozens of mumbled conversations transpiring, all speculating on what the hell was going on here. You looked to Jungkook, giving him a nod to tell him that they should start.

He cleared his throat, clapping his hands together, resulting in large boom that got everyone’s attention. “All right, listen up. We have something important we need to discuss.”

“Jungkook, why the hell are the Tri Delts here?” A Lambda named Yuta yelled out.

“Because we can be, asshole.” It was Jennie.

“Who’re you calling an asshole?” Taehyung asked, even though he had nothing to do with it.

“Your dickhead friend,” Sana responded, again even though it had nothing to do with her.

And then Chanyeol chimed in, followed by Momo, which then got escalated by Johnny and continued by Dahyun. After that you lost track of who was arguing because it just became a giant clusterfuck of people yelling and this was the perfect example of how this entire war started — people getting involved in the business of others that didn’t even concern them.

You started rubbing at your temples, fingernails digging into your palms. This was enough. “Shut the fuck up!” You yelled, a loud echo that reverberated through the air and hushed everyone into silence. “This is why you’re all here.” You motioned towards them.

“What do you mean?” Someone asked from the back. “What’s going on?”

“Me and Y/N had a meeting with President Kwon today,” Jungkook paused, releasing a deep sigh before continuing. “He said that if we all keep publicly fighting the way we have been… that our chapters will get suspended.”

There was a small pause, as if it didn’t immediately click with everyone what had been said — and then the panic set in.

“What?!”

“No fucking way!”

“He can’t be serious!”

“That’s bullshit!”

“This is just another prank, right?!”

Having forty-two people publicly shouting expletives, wasn’t the best start to this image reset that President Kwon wanted, but there was no way either of the chapters would have been okay with the other house coming into their own, so this little outdoor set-up was the best option they had.

You and Jungkook sort of just stood there for a moment, letting the members get their gut-reactions out. Then he turned to you, motioning towards the mob of angry Greek lifers. “You were always better at yelling than me. You wanna quiet them down?” He smirked, a jab that had you clenching your teeth.

“Great way to start off this so called peace treaty, but sure, I’ll gladly calm them down and get straight to the point. I wouldn’t want to let them drown in their own heads without knowing what’s going on because someone won’t just be upfront.” You stared him straight in the eyes, making sure he got your double meaning since he wanted to play dirty and bring up the past. He simply clenched his jaw and averted his gaze back to the crowd of hysterics laid out before them.

“Quiet down and we’ll explain.” You yelled as loud as you could, hoping it would reach everyone so that the chatter would die down quickly. Luckily it seemed they were all on the verge of a mental breakdown and needed answers, so the volume was almost instantly brought down to a hush. All eyes were now on you. “To make things simple, President Kwon thinks that our little prank war or whatever the hell you want to call it, has brought too much negative attention to the school. Visiting students and their parents, donors, and apparently a lot of other people have noticed all of the antics that we pull on each other, and they don’t like it.” You paused, gauging the reactions, but everyone was just frozen in place, waiting for more details. “He put both of our houses on three months of probation and said that if we don’t clean up our acts and stop with all of this petty bullshit that he would suspend our chapters. So, really it’s that easy. We just have to let this feud die down...” You paused, not wanting to say what you were going to say next, but you thought that it would be the best way to diffuse the situation. “And I know that it was the venting of my personal feelings that started this entire thing, so I wanted to say… I’m sorry for causing it.” You didn’t look towards Jungkook, but you could feel his stare burning into the side of your face. You didn’t want to see his expression. Didn’t want to see the smugness or whatever the hell he was feeling towards this forced public apology. You were about to continue, but before you could, a high-pitched voice cut in.

“No, why are you apologizing?” Sana said, stepping past the front lines of the two groups. “It is not your fault.” She shot a glare towards Jungkook who simply rolled his eyes and kept his stare straight ahead.

Then it was Jennie pushing to the front to join in on your defense. “She’s right, Y/N. It’s not your fault. We’re the ones who planted the flowers as a joke. Even though it was a harmless joke,” She turned towards the Lambda boys, venom coating her words, “that made their trashy house look a little bit nicer. Yet, they had to escalate it into something else.”

Oh, this was not good.

Jimin broke through the front line for the Lambdas, a scowl etched across his face. “It’s not the issue of what you did. It’s the fact that back then you blindly fucked with the house that all of the guys lived in, not only Jungkook, just because of Y/N being upset over their relationship — which, he did nothing wrong since you wanna start glaring at people for no fucking reason Sana.”

It was this violent concoction of anger and sadness colliding inside of your stomach that had you simultaneously fighting back the urge to bite off Jimin’s head or crying pathetically in front of everyone.

Multiple people were stepping to the front of their groups now, various arguments splintering off as people began defending the heads of their respective houses. Y/N this, Jungkook that. You stared at the second story of the Tri Delt house, focusing in on the bedroom window all the way to the right (your bedroom), so that your hearing would blur out. You didn’t want to listen to these arguments any more, but you also didn’t have the energy to both somehow defend yourself while also admitting that Jungkook’s feelings from back then were also valid. So you stood there, eyes glazing over at the sight of the room where this entire feud spawned from. Though, maybe that wasn’t exactly correct. According to Jungkook it had started in no particular place and at no particular time that he could actually pinpoint. That was just the place where it had all finally been verbalized.

You weren’t sure how long you zoned out for, just reminiscing on the conversation from that night, but it was Jungkook’s voice thundering through the air that halted everyone’s arguments once again, along with your torturous thoughts.

“All of you just fucking stop!” He yelled. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how it started. If we keep doing this we’re gonna get our chapters suspended. Do you guys want that?” There was an awkward moment of silence where everyone was just sort of looking around at one another before the members finally grumbled a unanimous ‘no.’ “Okay, so then you guys are just gonna have to get over this bullshit, just like how me and Y/N are,” Jungkook paused, one brow arched as he turned to face you. “Right?”

You felt your face heat up as you clamped your teeth down onto the inside of your cheek. “…Right.”

“Good.” Jungkook smiled, seeming very happy with himself for getting that out of you — smug asshole. He turned back to face all of the members, clapping his hands together before saying something that caused the entire group to erupt into hysterics. “Now, apologize to each other.”

“Fuck that!” Someone screeched from the back. “Baek let the air out of my tires last year. I was late for my final.”

“Because you put a pair of panties in my car and my girlfriend thought I was cheating on her!”

“You probably were!”

Everyone was screaming and calling out various incidents, saying there was no way in hell they were ever going to apologize.

“Fine! Fucking fine!” Jungkook cut in immediately before it could devolve again. “How about if me and Y/N just apologize to each other and it’ll count for the rest of you? And then this war is dead. Sound fair?”

No one said anything concrete in response, just unintelligible grumbles rippling through the crowd. Jungkook apparently took this as an okay, because he was suddenly turning toward you. “Alright, you go first.”

You scoffed. “I’m not apologizing first. It wasn’t even my idea. Besides I already apologized to everyone earlier.”

“It wasn’t an apology to me though.”

“I don’t think I owe you an apology.” You shrugged. “I apologized for my friends fucking with your house. What else do I need to apologize for?”

He just looked at you, with those eyes that were unreadable. Though you could see a slight shift, as though there truly was something that he wanted you to apologize for from back then, but he could tell that you weren’t going to back down, so he went for something that cut deep as punishment.

He huffed in annoyance. “Fine, if you wanna be like that. I’m sorry that I broke up with you, Y/N.”

Your entire body flared with anger that had a pool of sweat instantly swelling at your hairline. You stepped closer to him, only a foot of space between you, but he didn’t back down and you weren’t going to either. “And I’m sorry I wasted three years of my life with a lying, cheating piece of shit!”

His eyes went wide. The word that never failed to strike a nerve whenever this argument was brought back under the light. His response was quiet but firm, everyone, all forty-two members watching in silence. “I never cheated on you, but if you want to think that just so I can be the bad guy in your head, fine.”

His final word felt like a sharp cut across your chest, but you stood firm, not backing down. You didn’t break eye contact with him as you voiced your final sentiment to the two groups of warring Greeks. “I don’t care whose side you guys fall on when it comes to this overblown drama between me and Jungkook. The fighting, the pranks, all of it, it’s over.”

“Agreed.” Jungkook bit out before turning and walking towards the Lambda house, a silent command for his Brothers to do the same.

You didn’t stand there for a single second longer and began walking toward your own house, your fellow Sisters following. Your best friends, Sana and Jennie, instantly threw their arms around your shoulders. “Vodka?” The universal distraction from all things awful in life.

You shook your head. “Tequila.” The universal eraser to all things awful in life. “Lots of tequila.”

——-

“He’s lucky that we’re in a truce now or I would’ve thought up something diabolical for his arrogant ass,” Jennie said as she dusted some blush on her cheeks.

“I know right, ugh!” Sana made a disgusted sound as she handed you the necklace she was letting you borrow for the night. “Telling you to apologize first. Like fuck you. You haven’t even done anything.”

You simply sighed, jumping to get your jeans past your thighs. “It’s fine guys. As long as no more issues pop up we can just ignore them and act like none of this ever happened.”

“I know, I know, but it just pisses me off that they always bring your name into the argument. Like you didn’t tell us to go and mess with them. We did it ourselves, and sure, looking back on it now we shouldn’t have done it — even though they were some nice fucking flowers — but regardless, they pushed it to another level.” Sana let out a final huff as she hopefully released the last of her ranting for the night.

“The point of the tequila,” You said as you filled three shot glasses, several wedges of lime waiting beside them, “Is to forget the problems. Not continue thinking about them.”

Sana snapped her fingers and pointed at you with a smile as she picked up her shot. “You know what, you’re right. Fuck the Lambdas. They no longer exist. In my head we live next to a vacant patch of grass.”

“Exactly.” Jennie picked up her glass, leaving the final one for you. “Cheers to no longer having to deal with the house that must not be named.”

The three of you let out a little cheer before clinking your glasses together and forcing your bodies through the post-shot shivers that followed.

After the front yard meeting fiasco you knew immediately you would be going out. However, it had still been quite early, so you, Sana, and Jennie decided to indulge in several glasses of wine to bide the time before it was late enough to feel like an appropriate time to be downing shots. Tequila at six in the afternoon, even on a Friday, just didn’t feel right, so alcohol juice it had been. Though, the warm feeling that was already radiating through your legs as you walked over to the mirror to do one last once over of your outfit indicated that the so called alcohol juice had done its job as the pre-game to the actual hard liquor pre-game a little too well.

“Okay, I’m only opting for one more round while we’re here or else we will be having a repeat of St. Patrick’s Day.” Too many green beers that day. Too many.

“Senior year wisdom.” Jennie placed her hand over her heart. “Our freshman year brains would never.”

“Our freshman year brains didn’t have an aversion to six different types of alcohol yet.” You laughed as you motioned to take the next round of shots. “And I would like to still be able to look at a bottle of tequila without going into a full-body sweat after tonight, so we’re pacing ourselves.”

“Oh, Fireball. The days when I could still drink you were so simple.” Sana grabbed her face and grimaced as if Fireball was a long lost god, while you audibly gagged from the name of the cinnamon flavored whiskey alone.

“Sana, stop. You know Y/N can’t even look at a churro anymore without looking like she’s gonna yak everywhere like a dog.”

I faked a sniffle. “God, I miss being able to eat churros.” Cinnamon was now inedible to you thanks to your now forever connection between the delectable spice and the previously mentioned unspeakable liquor. A break up that rivaled that of yours and Jungkook’s.

“Uber’s gonna be here in three minutes,” Jennie said as she returned to your bedside table to grab her shot glass once again.

The three of you raised your glasses together with a clink. “Let’s fuck it up.”

——----

The bar right next to your college, simply referred to as “Pub,” was a weird place to be on the first Friday of the new semester. It was a mix of underage freshman trying to slyly sip at their alcohol while attempting to hide the X’s marked on their hands, and of age students that felt a little too old to be at Pub, but who could argue with free drinks for girls until midnight? Definitely not you, Sana, or Jennie.

The three of you found your temporary home at the tables on the deck right outside of the entrance, the fresh air much preferable to the stuffy atmosphere of the dance floor that you would soon find yourself on given the right song choice to send you flying through the door.

You watched as Sana shimmied through the crowd of people to return to your table, three tiny plastic cups in hand. “You get a vodka Sprite, you get a vodka Sprite, and I get a vodka Sprite!” She yelled as she set the cups down on the table.

You laughed. “People may call that basic, but we still get drunk and don’t have to drink Jack and fucking Coke.”

“The Devil’s combo.” Jennie sipped her drink. “You see a guy drinking that: run. He thinks he’s so fucking cool.”

Sana raised her plastic cup. “Cheers to the truth.”

“Cheers,” You all agreed collectively.

“But speaking of guys who don’t drink Jack and Coke, I ran into Namjoon when I went to the bathroom a minute ago.” A blush crept across Jennie’s cheeks.

“Are you finally gonna see if he’s interested? He’s not your TA anymore, so it’s not sketchy.”

Jennie shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s weird. He seems so uninterested that it’s intimidating. Like I’ve imagined thirty-seven different scenarios for our first date and he’s only like ‘Hi, Jennie. Bye, Jennie.”

You and Sana couldn’t help but laugh, however, the amusement was cut short by a decently sized group of familiar males.

“Fuck me,” You said under your breath, which was enough for Jennie to turn around and see the pack of Lambda boys climbing the wooden steps onto the deck of the bar, Jungkook leading the way.

“You try to forget your problems and they just walk in on two legs.” Sana groaned. “It’s rude really.”

The group got caught in the line to get into the bar, which unfortunately left them idling uncomfortably close to your table, and of course something had to be said.

Jimin glanced down at them sitting, a fake grin plastered to his mouth. “If it isn’t our cordial neighbors.”

Jennie snapped her head up to look at him, mirroring his forced smile. “Cordial can also mean that we’re pretending you don’t exist. In fact, we no longer acknowledge that we even have neighbors.”

“That’s fantastic, actually. It means I can forget that awful blowjob you gave me freshman year even happened.”

Jennie’s jaw clenched for all of a millisecond before responding. “Awful? Say that to my untouched vagina after you came in sixty seconds. Though again, we’re pretending you don’t exist, so I guess I can forget the most underwhelming sexual experience of my life. Thanks, Jimin.” She turned back to you and Sana, not sparing a second glance as if she’d simply given someone directions to the nearest Denny’s.

But Jimin wasn’t through. “That’s not what happened—”

You could see in your friend’s face she was already squaring up another jab, and as much as you found it entertaining you knew it was setting a bad example.

“Jennie,” You said at the same time that Jungkook sighed “Jimin.”

You both looked at each other, a silent message of gratefulness passing between the two of you at trying to actually make this work.

“Guys, neither of us want to get our chapters suspended. If ignoring each other is the best route, do that, or maybe even be friends. Whatever results in no fuckery between our houses, okay?” You reminded them of what was at stake here and everyone nodded, letting any planned animosity fall away as the line to get into the bar began to move.

You tilted your head, watching as Jungkook’s back disappeared into the building, his eyes crinkling as he smiled brightly at some girl who noticed him the second he made it past the threshold.

Again, that stupid feeling of longing for something that was clearly dead and gone. But you didn’t want to get too down, so before you could spiral too far you turned back towards your friends. “So did he really last sixty seconds?”

“No,” Jennie smiled, “But I definitely still have the texts of him telling me the next day it was the best suck of his life. He’s the one that lied first, so I get to bend the truth too.”

“Freshman year is so weird to think about. Everyone was actually friendly. Jennie and Jimin might be dating right now if it wasn’t for our little war.” Sana laughed as she batted the napkin away that Jennie tossed at her.

“Absolutely not. I want someone like Namjoon, who’s smart and respectful. Not Jimin, who… who…” She trailed off simply finishing her thought with a wordless grimace.

Jennie said that, but you knew it wasn’t exactly true. You remembered very well when Jennie and Jimin were involved and she actually seemed to enjoy the Lambda’s presence quite a bit. But then things went to shit the summer after your freshman year was over, and well, this was the reality now. Snide comments at every passing instead of mutual invites to beach days.

You were beginning to let a little slideshow of memories from that first year cloud your head when a song that already had you lifting out of your chair clamored inside the bar. “We dance till dawn!” You pulled your friends by their arms through the entrance, waving your wristbands at the bouncer before pushing your way to the middle of the dance floor.

“Drinks!” Jennie beamed, remembering that they had finished the others outside. “I’ll be back!” She yelled over the music, pointing towards the bar.

You and Sana gave her a thumbs up as you began to dance together, singing the lyrics so loud your throats would certainly punish you by night’s end. But you didn’t care. Today had been absolutely disastrous, ripping up old wounds that you wished would just stay permanently beneath their flimsy bandaid, so you were thankful for this music that was blaring so loud that thoughts weren’t even an option, the alcohol that was so potent you could barely remember Jungkook’s smug face from the house meeting today, and your friends that allowed you to be this happy on days this bad.

A few songs passed and you and Sana were still dancing and getting so hyped up by every new spin that it took you a second to remember that Jennie definitely should’ve been back by now. You looked around, only to find a sight that made you let out a slight scream that was completely concealed by the music. You tapped Sana and began pointing towards the bar. She turned and immediately mirrored your excitement.

Namjoon was leaning into Jennie at the bar, whispering something into her ear and you could see her smiling, redness once again blooming on her face. In your drunkenness you pulled out your phone and snapped severa blurry pictures, which were sure to be a great topic of discussion in the group chat tomorrow. You watched Jennie nod her head, smiling and pointing to the three drinks in her hand, and then she started back towards where you were.

“Bitch, the drinks could’ve waited!” You tried to say over the music. “Go back and talk to him.”

Jennie actually looked giddy as she handed over the drinks to you and Sana. “I am. He’s leaving soon though, but he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat with him at the diner down the street.”

Sana jumped up and down in excitement. “So he basically asked you to marry him? Got it.”

“Oh yeah, he’s totally gonna propose to me over my omelette.” She joked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Are you guys okay if I go?”

“Of course, but I will be checking your location in fifteen minutes and if you are not at that diner I will hunt Namjoon’s ass down in two seconds,” You warned. “—Except if you decide you wanna skip the diner and go straight to fucking that’s cool too, just let us know.”

Jennie threw out another giddy expression at the thought. “I’ll text you guys. Love you!” She said, kissing her hand and throwing it out to you as she weaved back towards where Namjoon was waiting for her at the bar.

“Fuck Disney,” You shouted to Sana. “Dreams come true at Pub too.”

She bent over, laughing as she tried to sip her drink. “Ugh, if only we could be that lucky. I’ve never had a TA even close to that hot.”

“Same, but maybe we’ll find something else tonight.” You motioned toward the back where you could see some of the soccer players hanging out. You eyed Jung Hoseok. The two of you had hooked up a few times last year, and getting laid would be a perfect ending to this bad to actually decent day.

“Oh, I see.” Sana wiggled her brows, giving a knowing look. “Let’s go bump into them.” She grabbed your hand and began leading you through the crowd until you reached the area that the soccer players were idly standing around and sipping their drinks. You started a conversation about something random right behind Hoseok, and it was only a minute or so before he turned around and noticed the two of you.

“Oh, look who it is.” He smiled, hugging you. “Been a while.”

“I know your summer must’ve been so dull without me,” You flirted, sipping at your drink.

“No question.” He leaned back against the wall, pulling you by the waist so you weren’t halfway on the dance floor and constantly being bumped into. Sana noticed the gesture and took that as her cue to let things simmer between you and Hoseok.

“Y/N, I see Nayeon and Joy over there.” She pointed towards the other corner of the bar, where you saw the two Tri Delts mingling. “I’m gonna go over there, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

She leaned into your ear, whispering, “If you wanna go home with him just text me. I’ll catch a ride with them on the way back to the house.”

“I’m ninety-five percent sure I will, but I’ll text you to make sure,” You whispered back.

She squeezed your shoulder before pulling back. “Take care of her Jung. I’ve heard you’re very good at that.” Sana smiled like a tiny devil before running through the crowd, leaving you slightly slack-jawed.

You bit your lip, a small warmth creeping into our face. “Please, ignore that,” You bit through an awkward laugh.

“Why’re you embarrassed?” He smiled, shrugging before leaning next to your ear. “I mean I have taken care of you every single time we’ve been together, right?”

His breath was hot against the side of your face, leaving you tingling. You lifted your hand, cupping his jaw as you pulled him back to look him in the face. “You can’t say things like that to me when we’re in a bar and you can’t do anything about it.”

He smiled, eyes drifting to your mouth. “I mean we could always leave. It’s almost closing time anyways.”

You smiled. “One more drink, after I finish this one.”

“Perfect.” He leaned in, gave you a small peck on the lips before ruffling your hair a little and turning to say something to his friend. Presumably it was something about him getting laid tonight, which was exactly the same conversation you were about to have with your friend.

You: the hookup is secure

Sana: quick work. i’m proud

Sana: joy and nayeon said that lisa is sick in the bathroom and they’re about to take her back to the house, so i was just going to catch a ride with them if you’re going with hoseok. sound good?

You: oh really? i hope she’s okay. make sure she gets water at home. and yes i’ll be fine. we were gonna have one last drink and then go. i’ll text you when i make it to his place

Sana: sounds good. love you!

You slipped your phone back into your pocket after returning the sentiment.

“Everything good?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, one of our friends is sick so Sana was just letting me know she was gonna go home with her.”

“Damn,” Hoseok tsked, jokingly. “Does that mean I’m stuck with you for the night?”

“It would seem so.” You smiled, and then he pulled you beneath his arm and adjusted the backwards cap on his head.

“You know, I’m all for just fucking or whatever, but you’re really never gonna say yes to a date, are you?”

You paused before answering, remembering that time last year that he’d asked about actually taking you out to dinner. You had thought about it, but in the end you just decided you had no desire to even slightly pivot in the direction of being any more than friends with benefits with someone. Though, if anyone were able to sway you away from that mindset after Jungkook, it would be Hoseok, but just not yet.

“If I let you take me to Steak n’ Shake after this, will that suffice?” You giggled at the way he rolled his eyes while still smiling.

“I have leftovers in my fridge better than the food from there, so I’ll let you have that.” He paused, a slight glimmer filling his eyes. “Maybe I’ll light a candle, make it romantic, sort of like a date.”

Your skin prickled slightly at the mention of the candle, a call back to one of their more… unconventional hook ups from last year.

“Is candle wax being melted onto my naked body and drunkenness really a good mix?” You asked, even though it had been one of the best feelings you had ever experienced.

“Not that drunk, but it could always wait until the morning.”

You tapped your finger to your lips as if you were pondering it. “Let me get my last drink and I’ll let you know my answer.”

“I have a tab open.” He motioned towards the bar. “Just get it on mine.”

“Thanks,” You said, even though you planned to pay for it yourself. Random guys you didn’t mind hustling a few free drinks from, but not guys you were actually sort of friends with.

You walked up to the bartender. “Vodka Sprite,” You said over the thumping music. He nodded and then stepped to the left and made your drink. He handed it to you as you slipped him your credit card, motioning to close the tab out.

You were already halfway done with sipping on the drink when the bartender returned a slight look of awkwardness on his face. “Uh, it declined.”

Your brows furrowed. Your financial aid refund for school had definitely been deposited into your bank account. You knew this because you had jumped for joy when it hit and you were finally able to return to the sanctuary that is no-ads Hulu. There was enough to cover your dues for staying in the Tri Delt house this semester, so there should certainly have been enough to cover a four dollar drink. You were pondering what to do, maybe just put it on Hoseok’s tab like he said you could. It was probably just your actual bank having issues and it would sort itself out in the morning anyways. You were just about to say to put it on his tab when someone slid their muscled bicep right in front of your face with a credit card in hand.

You knew that it was pathetic that you knew exactly who that bicep belonged to before he even turned to look at your face, black strands of hair hanging over his forehead.

“I got it,” Jungkook said to the bartender.

“Why’d you do that?” You asked.

“Because I was right behind you and heard him, and I know how embarrassed you get about things like that.” He shrugged, grabbing the paper and pen that the bartender slid back towards him.

He was right. You had terrible secondhand embarrassment, let alone actual first hand embarrassment. “Well… thanks. I don’t know why it did that. I got my refund already.”

“Just check your bank account. If the money’s in there then the bank system is probably just fucked up right now.”

“Yeah…” You slid your phone out of your pocket and immediately went to your banking app and pressed your fingerprint down onto the login. You waited a few seconds, and when your balance appeared on the screen, you felt your heart drop. “What in the actual fuck?” You said, staring at your bank account with a whopping dollar and twenty cent in it.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, brows furrowed as he rounded to your side to look at your screen to see the low number that was not at all what it was yesterday. “I thought you said you got your refund?”

You were shaking your head. “I… I did. I don’t know what the hell happened. Oh my god, I’m gonna freak the fuck out. I have to pay my housing cost for Tri-Delt with that money. Like what the fuck is going on—”

You felt Jungkook’s on your back, rubbing light circles. “Just breathe.” You stiffened at the touch, but didn’t try to pull away. “It’s probably just a financial aid fuck up. Call them tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

You knew that he was probably right, but a creeping feeling was telling you otherwise. This was your fourth year in college dealing with the same exact scholarships every single semester and this had never happened before.

“Fuck.” You brought your hands up to push at either of your temples. “That really just fucked up my whole mood. I’m not even horny anymore—” You cringed, realizing what you just said. “Please, just ignore me I’m drunk.” You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut, not wanting to see the expression he’d made at your admission.

“What’re you doing now? Where’s Sana and Jennie?” He asked, ignoring your flub and finally lowering his hand from your back.

“They’re not here. Jennie left earlier and I told Sana I was gonna go home with… Hoseok, but now I just wanna go lay in bed by myself so I can spiral into every negative possibility of why my bank account looks like that.”

“It’s gonna be fine.” This time he placed his hand on the back of your neck, cupping it slightly. It was a motion that had always for some reason calmed you down when things got overwhelming. It seemed he remembered. But even though you appreciated the comfort, the feeling of his hand there made something in your stomach flutter — that stupid feeling of longing seriously needed it’s wings shredded. You gripped his forearm, pulling it away from you, and you saw something shift in his eyes as you did so.

“I guess I’m gonna go tell Hoseok that I’m just gonna go home—” But then you suddenly remembered something. “Fuck! I can’t Uber because I don’t have any money on my card.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “This day was so bad and then actually pretty good, only to turn out fucking awful.”

There was a couple of seconds of silence between the two of you, but you kept your eyes closed, trying to clear the fog in your head from all the alcohol to figure out what you were going to do. However, Jungkook finally let out a sigh before speaking. “Come on.”

“What?” You asked.

“All of these people are trying to get out of here at once and they’re ordering Uber’s at the same time.” He flashed his phone screen, showing that it was not only almost closing time, but that the next driver wouldn’t be available for thirty-two minutes with everyone having already ordered their rides. “It’s a twenty minute walk back to your house. I’ll just walk you there.”

Even though Jungkook was currently the president of the Lambdas, he actually decided not to live in the frat house this year and instead opted for a cheaper apartment that was still near campus. You and Jungkook both relied on scholarships to pay for most of your schooling, and fraternity and sorority dues on their own were not cheap, and living on Greek Drive only made that burden a million times worse.

But the point was that Jungkook had no need to go to campus because he lived in a completely different direction now.

“You don’t even live there anymore. How’re you gonna get home?” You asked.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch and get Tae or Jimin to drive me to my place in the morning.” He shrugged.

You weren’t exactly keen on the idea of having to walk all the way back to campus with Jungkook, considering just a five minute car ride earlier in the day had been sufficiently awkward all on its own. But you also were unfortunately no longer in the mood for sex, leaving Hoseok’s house out of the picture, and your bank account was for some reason drained, which resulted in you only having one option really.

“Alright,” You finally said. “Just let me tell Hoseok and then we can go.”

He nodded as you walked back towards the group of soccer players, tapping Hoseok on the shoulder. It seemed your dismay was painted plainly on your face because he immediately asked what was wrong.

“I actually can’t hang out tonight. I just found out my bank account is fucked up and I can’t really think about anything else right now, so I was just gonna head home, but I wanted to let you know. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re fine,” He said, shaking his head. “Do you have a way home then?”

You glanced towards Jungkook, releasing a heavy sigh. “Uhm, yeah, Jungkook was gonna walk me.”

Hoseok’s eyes darted toward where you pointing, narrowing slightly. Most people knew about the feud between the Lambdas and the Tri Delts, which meant most people also knew the details about why there was a feud in the first place.

“Are you sure you’re good with that?” Hoseok asked.

Not really, but a twenty minute walk wasn’t going to kill you. “We’re fine, promise. Actually we’ve been… cordial lately.” You tried to say it like it was actually the truth, but you thought maybe if you spoke it into existence then it would actually come to fruition.

Hoseok tilted his head, giving you a look that said he didn’t really believe you, but regardless he pulled you in for a hug. “Okay, let me know when you get home.”

“I will,” You assured him before waving goodbye and making your way back towards Jungkook.

“Ready,” He huffed, a slight annoyance seeming to coat his words as he pushed himself off of the wall and started towards the entrance.

“Are you really gonna have an attitude?” You asked as you did a little jog to catch up with him. “I would’ve found another way if I knew you were gonna act like an ass.”

“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just tired.” He placed his hand on one of your shoulders, moving you in front of him so the two of you could move through the mass of people more quickly until you were walking through the entrance and down the wooden ramp that connected to the outside deck.

“Then why’d you offer? I could’ve called someone to pick me up.”

“Because,” He paused, motioning towards the crosswalk that already had dozens of drunk college kids filing through it. “I couldn’t just leave you there, and I thought just taking you home would be quicker than you calling people to try and find a ride.”

Ouch. He was just trying to be nice and you were calling him an ass. Heat flushed beneath your skin from embarrassment. “I’m sorry…” You finally said as you made it to the sidewalk and began the straight shot down the main road towards Greek Drive. “Thank you for making sure I got home alright.” You added, avoiding any eye contact and opting to walk a little bit in front of him.

After about five entire minutes of silence you thought to yourself, yeah, this was going pretty much as expected. But you were thankful that at least there wasn’t any hostility. You didn’t want any more arguments like the ones from today. You had seethed at each other after the two of you left President Kwon’s office. Had thrown insults at one another at the meeting between your houses. Like sure, maybe the silence hurt more than it should’ve. The idea that the guy you started dating and fell in love with when you were a junior in high school not even being able to fake a conversation with you for twenty minutes was mildly heartbreaking to say the least. But again, the silence was better than the anger that had fueled most of your interactions since breaking up the summer after starting college.

You had become somewhat content with the lack of speaking. You were still a few steps ahead of Jungkook as he walked behind you, but he suddenly picked up speed and joined you, shoulder skating against yours before he was curving his hand around your waist and nudging you to go to the side of the sidewalk that wasn’t closest to the main road that was currently buzzing with post-bar traffic.

“Wouldn’t want you falling face first into a Camero that someone’s Daddy bought them, Drunkie,” He said, offering a playful smile as he dropped his arm back down to his side.

You were caught so off guard by the positive expression from Jungkook that it took you a second for your head to actually realize what he had even said. You pushed his shoulder. “I’m not even drunk anymore.”

“Well, considering I can literally smell the tequila on you, I’d rather not take any chances of you falling into oncoming traffic.”

“You’re being nice.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Too nice.”

“What?” He chuckled. “I’m just making an effort to try and fix things between us so that the members don’t see us constantly fighting and think it’s okay to do the same.”

Ah, that’s what it was. He didn’t care if you guys actually patched this up, just that it looked like you did.

“Well, we could always pretend to like each other, since the appearance is all that actually matters apparently.” You forced a smile and began walking a little bit faster. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes of being alone with him and his stupid presence that overwhelmed you with thoughts that you wished would just disappear.

“That’s not what I meant,” He said almost immediately, not letting that unbearable plunge into silence return. “I would love it if we could be nice to each other and actually mean it… I just…” He trailed off, seeming to hesitate in whatever he was trying to say.

“Just spit it out.”

There was one more second of a brief pause before he spoke quietly. “I just don’t think that’s ever going to happen, because I know you still blame me for everything.”

You tensed up, still keeping your pace of being slightly ahead of him. You inhaled a deep breath through your mouth before turning to look over your shoulder at him, his eyes already waiting to meet yours.

“I don’t blame you.” You smiled, but with a sad furrowing of your brows. “I… resent you.”

Jungkook’s mouth fell open, his eyes widening in surprise. “I mean, that’s… that’s even worse than blaming me.”

You shook your head. “No, it’s not.”

His expression turned more puzzled. “How is you resenting me better than you blaming me?”

“Because, blame implies that I think it’s your fault… Resentment just means I’m angry and upset, regardless of whether I think you were right or wrong for what happened.” You felt the bridge of your nose begin to tingle with that telltale sign of tears, so you quickly looked forward and urged them to stay hidden until you were at least in the comfort of your own room. “I’m just resentful of the things I now think and feel about myself, but that isn’t your fault. It’s my issue to deal with.” You shrugged.

“What things do you think and feel about yourself?” He asked, and you could tell that he had hurried his pace and was a little closer behind you now.

You closed your eyes, shaking your head. You didn’t want to talk about this. The two of you hadn’t had an in depth conversation like this since you’d first broken up. But things were different now compared to that first conversation. Back then it was raw and fresh, the pain too intense to notice what was growing underneath. Now it was a scar, and you were left with all of the emotions, feelings, and implications of how and why things ended.

“I… I don’t really wanna talk about it honestly.” You said that, but you also wanted Jungkook to understand that you were perfectly aware of how you had acted the past few years. You may have said and acted in ways that seemed bitchy and ridiculous, but it was because of these disgusting emotions that were now plaguing your mind constantly, and maybe it was time he knew. “I kind of wish we had broken up over this giant fight that was about something unfixable. Something where we both clearly did things wrong and we were both through with each other because there was no way either of us were going to change our minds. I think I could’ve dealt with that so much better than what you actually broke up with me for. Which was just the fact that you thought I was...” You trailed off, the word that bombarded your thoughts mercilessly landing on your tongue. “Boring.”

You heard the way his shoes scratched against the concrete at his screeching halt, and he clearly thought that that was going to stop you as well, but you kept going, not actually wanting to hear any response from him. You said your piece and now maybe he would understand. But of course you knew that he wasn’t just going to let it end like that, which was made apparent when you felt him suddenly gripping your arm, trying to get you to slow down for a second.

“I never said or even thought that about you, Y/N, ever.” He tried to pull you to look at him, but you twisted your body and threw a hand over your face to cover your eyes that were already glistening.

“No, stop,” You said firmly, and he ceased with trying to get you to look at him. “I told myself after that night in my room I was never going to let you see me cry over you ever again, and if I look at you right now, I will. I just know I will, so please just stop.”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, leaving just the sound of grasshoppers and the random gust of cars passing by. You thought maybe he would just let it go and you could continue the last few minutes of the walk without speaking, but you had verbalized your thoughts and Jungkook was without a doubt going to respond.

“I know how it’s easy to think that,” He started, his voice a whisper with his hand still wrapped around your arm, as if he was afraid you would bolt down the street without letting him finish if he let you go. “But that’s not why I ended things. You were the first girl I ever actually dated, and when we got here I just started thinking about—”

“—All of your new exciting options.” You cut in, anger flaring before you could stop it.

“Y/N…” He trailed off, squeezing your arm. “That’s not what it was—”

“—No,” You said before he could try and dance his way through some explanation of how he just wanted to go crazy in college without actually saying it out loud. “You don’t have to explain it again. I’d rather you didn’t actually. I remember in excruciating detail the way you explained it that night. I understand, I get it… So, p-please,” Your voice cracked, finally being too overwhelmed by this entire situation. “Let’s just keep walking and not talk about it anymore. Please.”

It turned so quiet I could even hear how hard Jungkook was breathing. It sounded heavy but unnatural, like he was trying to forcibly steady his heartbeat. And after a few seconds you felt him finally drop his hand from your arm and you didn’t wait for him to say a single word before you started down the sidewalk again.

The Tri Delt house was five minutes away, leading to five minutes of complete and utter silence between two people that was so palpable it blocked out the scratching of your shoes as you walked and the rustle of tiny animals running through the trees next to you. It engulfed you in this tunnel of noiselessness.

Eventually you saw the bend at the end of the street where yours and Jungkook’s houses sat next to one another. It was only a little bit away, yet it felt so far. Twenty minutes. All it had taken was twenty minutes of the two of you not partaking in your back and forth hostility from the last few years for you to break down again. It felt pathetic. It was completely pathetic.

You were finally approaching the point where the Tri Delt and Lambda house split into opposite directions. All you had to do was keep walking straight while Jungkook veered to the left and—

You felt the light tug at the belt loop of your jeans, stopping you in place, just like from earlier today after the suspension meeting. You were about to tell him to let you go, when he beat you to the punch.

“You’re not boring, Y/N. You never have been.” He was so close you could feel his breath hitting the back of your head. “It was one of the millions of reasons that I loved you. I just wanted you to know that.”

And then he was gone. The pressure of someone tugging you in place disappearing, leaving you to catch your balance as you finally stood alone. You forced yourself to stare straight ahead as you walked towards your front door, not daring to look at him as he walked to the Lambda house. You shoved your keys inside the lock, forcing it open and then taking the stairs by two’s until you were collapsing in your bed, fingers crushing your pillow as you finally let yourself cry.

——--

A phone was ringing inside of your dreams. It was ringing and ringing and ringing until you realized the sound was coming from some otherworldly place — oh yeah, that would be the current hell that is your life.

You blinked a couple of times, blindly reaching for the source of the noise that was lost somewhere in your bed. You finally felt your hand slide across the leather of your phone case. You brought it up to read the name and you felt your stomach curl.

‘Jungkook the Jackass’ was calling. And if it weren’t for the fact that he was calling you at seven in the morning you probably would’ve just sent him straight to voice mail in order to avoid any further conversations about what transpired last night. But alas, it was seven in the morning and just seemed to be too early of a time for him to be calling about something mundane.

You regretfully lifted the phone to your ear. “Yes?” You grumbled, voice scratchy.

“We have a problem.” No mention of last night. It was just a clear cut declaration that did not sound good.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up from bed.

“Come outside your house. Now.”

Your eyes widened and you instantly jumped from bed. He sounded urgent enough that you decided your flimsy nighttime apparel was going to have to do. You hurried down the stairs and opened the front door, revealing Jungkook in the front yard staring at something.

“What is it?” You asked, arms crossing over your chest as you tried to hide your bralessness.

Jungkook pressed his lips together as he pointed towards the front of the Tri Delt house. “My idiot Lambda Brothers.”

You followed the direction of his finger, your mouth dropping at the sight before you.

Dozens and dozens and dozens of boxers covering every inch of the first story of the house. You turned towards Jungkook, so angry and anxiety-riddled that someone from administration had already seen this, that you could hardly speak.

“I’m going to murder them,” You finally managed to spit through clenched teeth.

“No,” He started, turning to you, mirroring your own frustration. “I’m going to murder them.”

→ part 02

#bts #jeon jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fanction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #kpop fanfic #bts angst #jungkook angst

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condorclaw · 3 years

Text

Waiting.

It's what Sam Nook was the best at.

The large mechanical creeper spent his days standing outside the towering structure of the Big Innit Hotel, keeping watch for potential customers, or potential troublemakers.

"Don't you ever get tired of standing here?" Jack Manifold had asked one day after a hostile confrontation between the two employees.

The answer was always no. Sam Nook never got tired of guarding the hotel. The task was never as boring as his peers made it seem. In fact, it was an exciting experience.

Sam Nook had been downloaded with the basic information of every server member, learning their names, heights, and basic personality traits with ease. However, the simple information couldn't compare to all he had noticed while speaking with them himself.

They all had their own stories to tell, and their own experiences to share. While standing guard, sometimes somebody would stop to speak with Sam Nook. Regardless if it was out of pity or for a genuine conversation, Sam Nook appreciated the gesture.

Captain Puffy would tell Sam Nook tales of her adventures, going into great detail when describing the scenery. It gave Sam Nook a thirst of adventure, making him feel like he was actually experiencing the harsh waves of the sea or the burning rays of the sun.

Eret regaled Sam Nook with history stories of their home. They would especially emphasize the horrible bits, including their traitorous actions as a leading cause for so much pain. Sam Nook could tell Eret still felt guilt after all this time, so as soon as Eret would finish their stories, Sam Nook offered the king a hug, which was gladly accepted.

Ranboo and Tubbo didn't have as many stories to share about the past, preferring to discuss what was happening in current moments. It was how Sam Nook became so fine-tuned to the social dynamic occurring, able to recognize specific actions relating to specific causes.

Even Sam himself would stop by frequently, checking up on his creation and making sure that Sam Nook was at tip-top shape. Sam Nook appreciated these check-ups, wanting to perform at his very best for his tasks. As Sam would make adjustments, he would tell Sam Nook small things about his life, and revealed quite a bit that he kept hidden to his other friends. Sam Nook swore to never tell anybody else unless Sam gave him permission. It was the least he could do for his creator.

Even though he was surrounded by such a colorful cast of characters, Sam Nook always looked forward to one in particular:

The big man himself, TommyInnit.

Tommy was loud and brash. He was young, yet experienced with conflict and war, masking it behind crude jokes and fragile confidence.

According to most others, Tommy was annoying and often unwanted. He was the source of problems and too impulsive for his own good. Sam Nook had occasionally heard mutterings of people wanting to ignore him or just shut him away somewhere. To an outsider, it sounded like Tommy was just some rabid stray animal who couldn't be caught.

But Tommy was more than that, and Sam Nook could see it firsthand. Tommy was passionate, loving to show off his accomplishments to his friends and being proud that he was the one able to do them. He took pride in the little things, and would frequently hype himself up when requested to perform tasks. Sam Nook was surprised at how quickly Tommy was able to get hotel materials, the boy being quite passionate to finish the build.

Outside of hotel work, the two had nice conversations. Tommy would curl up at Sam Nook's side, watching the stars in the sky and venting about his feelings. Tommy would always deny it whenever Sam Nook would bring his words up after that point, but it did warm Sam Nook's circuits to know how much Tommy trusted him to tell the robot these things in the first place.

After all, Sam Nook was built to be Tommy's guardian, and he took pride in that.

So Sam Nook was fine to wait.

Waiting.

It was a lovely day, with animals gathering in groups to scrounge for food. The sun was shining as bright as ever, and the few clouds in the sky twisted into funny shapes.

Sam Nook activated his cameras, taking a couple shots of the gorgeous scenery. He mentally stashed the photos away in a specific directory, one meant for Tommy.

Ever since Tommy had become trapped in Pandora's Vault, Sam Nook found himself recording his surroundings every minute of every day. Tommy was missing so much being trapped in a gloomy place, so Sam Nook was determined to show him everything he missed.

As Sam Nook stashed away his last photo, he heard the faint sound of arguing. Turning his head 90° to the left, Sam Nook spotted Jack Manifold speaking to Tubbo, the two deep in some sort of conflict. Ranboo was towering over the two, but remained quiet, listening. The enderman spotted Sam Nook gazing in their direction, giving a nervous wave and a shrug of confusion. Sam Nook returned the wave before shifting his head back forward.

It felt like there was a lot more aggression since Tommy was gone. Normally the kid was so blunt that it made it hard to argue against him. He wasn't always right, but he could end conversations quickly when they weren't worth having.

The heated discussion only got worse as minutes stretched on, Sam Nook catching bits of it, but remained still. It was only the final shout of "FINE!" that caused Sam Nook to look over once more.

Jack Manifold passed in front of Sam Nook, his teeth clenched and his eyes narrowed as he made his way to the entrance of the hotel.

"WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE HERE, JACK MANIFOLD." Sam Nook questioned as the hotel cats started gathering by the robot's feet.

"Relax," Jack Manifold snarled, rolling his eyes. "I'm just doing a bit of redecorating. If Tommy doesn't like that, then he can tell me himself." Before Sam Nook could formulate a response, Jack Manifold had gone up the ladders in a hurry.

Sam Nook let out a huff of steam, focusing his attention on some of the cats that wandered around the hotel. Jack Manifold wasn't a good employee. He was only focused on keeping the hotel to himself, which didn't belong to him. It belonged to TommyInnit, as much as Jack Manifold tried to deny that.

Thankfully, Tommy was scheduled to be released in a few days. The news had initially made Sam Nook upset when Sam had told him, but Sam Nook immediately cheered up at the thought of Sam being with Tommy. Sam liked Tommy a lot, Tommy wouldn't be alone!

So Sam Nook was fine to wait.

Waiting.

It was a stormy day, rain pouring down from the sky, almost as if the clouds were crying. Sam Nook didn't understand why it had to be such a gloomy day. After all, Tommy's first days out of prison should be happy!

Sam Nook hadn't seen Tommy once since the boy was scheduled for release, but that didn't worry him. Tommy was probably very busy reconnecting with all his friends. Eventually he'd come see Sam Nook.

The sound of Sam Nook's own shuttering cameras snapped the robot out of the slight daze he was in. The image was lovely, with red and white flowers spread all along the grass at the side of the path. Sam Nook didn't understand where these flowers were coming from, but they were very beautiful. He could only imagine Tommy's reaction to the gorgeous plants. Tommy would pretend to hate it at first, but would later go and water them all himself.

Out of the darkness of the rain, Sam Nook saw Ranboo and Jack Manifold emerge from one of the buildings. The two didn't appear to be engaging in conversation, and appeared rather sad. They continued walking until they stopped at the gates to the Big Innit Hotel, Jack Manifold opening them slowly.

Ranboo gave a slow wave to Sam Nook, who gave one in return. Ranboo had changed over the last few days. His normally colored eyes were slightly duller, and in his jacket pocket, a purple flower peaked out. Sometimes the enderman's hand would go to it, lighting stroking the flower's petals as if it were a pet.

Sam Nook was very curious about it, but there was still time to ask Ranboo about it in the future.

The more urgent concern was Jack Manifold, who was approaching the front of the hotel. Sam let out a few clicks, shifting his trident in his hands threateningly. Jack Manifold had been vandalizing the hotel lately, and Sam Nook wouldn't allow him to do it again.

Despite all the other times Sam Nook had threatened him however, Jack Manifold looked up at Sam Nook, looking weaker than ever. His eyes were glazed over too, and his form was drenched with rain. When he spoke, his words were soft. "Sorry, Sam Nook. I broke something yesterday. I'm just here to fix it."

In shock, Sam Nook didn't even reply to Jack Manifold as he climbed up the ladders. Jack Manifold was a liar sometimes, but that there had been the honest truth. It didn't make sense. Why now?

"Sam Nook."

The robot turned quickly, coming face-to-face with his creator. Sam's green had paled, and his armor no longer looked as shiny as it once had. It worried Sam Nook too, but Sam knew what he was doing. He could take care of it easily.

"HELLO, AWESAMDUDE. WELCOME TO THE BIG INNIT HOTEL."

Sam flinched at the hotel's title, perplexing Sam Nook even more. Did he not like the name? He was the one who chose it, though.

"Don't you get tired, standing here?" Sam asked softly, his voice hoarse. "What if Tommy-"

"I COULD NEVER GET TIRED OF MY JOB, AWESAMDUDE. IT IS A GREAT PLEASURE TO WORK ALONGSIDE TOMMYINNIT AT HIS AMAZING HOTEL. WHEN TOMMY COMES BACK, HE WILL BE VERY HAPPY."

Sam shut his eyes, his fists clenched at his side as if he was in pain. There was silence between the two for a couple of seconds.

"Yeah," Sam croaked out, tears starting to well up in his eyes. "He'll be very happy with this. Thank you, Sam Nook."

Sam Nook had never felt happier. Tommy would be very happy with his hotel, and together they could beat out the competition! Sam was right!

"THANK YOU, AWESAMDUDE. PREPARE FOR THE BIG INNIT HOTEL TO RULE THIS SERVER."

Sam nodded slowly, his mouth open, with only short puffs of breath coming out. Exhaling, he looked up, gave a polite bow to Sam Nook, and departed. Jack Manifold left shortly after Sam as well, only giving a quick farewell to the robot.

The sky may have looked like it was crying, but that didn't change Sam Nook's mood. The sky was crying out of joy, surely! The server couldn't wait for TommyInnit to return to his hotel, and neither could Sam Nook.

So Sam Nook was fine to wait.

#totally not thinking about sam nook nope #dream smp #c!awesamdude #c!ranboo #c!jack manifold #sam nook #c!tubbo #c!tommy #my writing #my post

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shyficwriter · 3 years

Text

Temporary Home: Chapter 10

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: The prank war has an unfortunate outcome and Rocket has a run-in with a raccoon.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author's note: Thank you to @maribatshipper for the suggestion for the raccoon scene and a prank idea! And thank you to all the others who have suggested scenes they'd like to see in this series! (I'm still working them in!) Everyone feel free to send me anything else you'd like to see happen in this story, it might take me a bit to work certain things in, but I'll try to add as many as I can!

Word Count: 6,114

You slept-in the next day, as did Yondu, though he slept in a bit later due to having waited up for several nights before finally being able to catch you sneaking out.

When he did finally wake up the first thing he saw was you oiling the hinges to your bedroom door.

The two of you locked eyes on his way to the bathroom, no words exchanged. Just you very deliberately not stopping in your actions with an almost defiant look and him shaking his head with a half-laughed huff because you both knew why you were doing it.

***

Peter and Kraglin wasted no time continuing the prank war. Kraglin attempted to whoopee cushion you at breakfast, but you had seen it and decided to eat your apple standing against the counter.

He then later got you with the same ice trick you had pulled on Peter the previous night. Well, almost the same trick. Jackass actually stood there and kept the ice pressed to the back of your neck for a bit while you seized up and tried to escape the cold sensations before eventually letting it fall down the back of your shirt. He laughed the whole time, Peter too. You hadn't seen him open the freezer so he and Peter must have planned it out before you got into the kitchen, arranging for Kraglin to do it instead, knowing you'd likely suspect Peter.

Your thoughts were that you needed to plot some revenge as you made your way out of the kitchen, but they were interrupted as you walked into the sitting room and Rocket confronted you.

"Hope ya don't think you can bribe me with a new bed to get me to like you."

You crossed your arms and feigned a mildly confused look, saying flatly, "I don't know what you're on about."

Peter and Kraglin make their way past you to sit on the couch, throwing a glance to you and the raccoon as if to gauge the situation. Everyone knew that you and Rocket weren't exactly on friendly terms, and to see you facing each other down inspired a degree of concern.

Rocket scoffed. "There was a new bed in my room last night, where else would it have come from?"

You shrug. "Haven't a clue."

Kraglin now threw a glance at you. He knew you said you weren't going to say anything about it, but he hadn't expected for you to actually outright deny you had done it when asked.

"Oh, so it just magically appeared then?" Rocket said sarcastically.

"Looks like it."

"What's going on?" Gamora asked as she entered the room, eyeing the two of you to see if she needed to help diffuse anything.

Rocket ignored her. "Beds just don't appear out of thin air!"

"Apparently they do," you replied.

Gamora tilted her head back in understanding, and then made her way over to the table where Yondu was sitting and playing with Groot. This didn't appear serious, so she wasn't going to get involved.

When she sat Yondu whispered over to her, "What're they carryin' on about?"

She didn't get a chance to answer because Rocket then yelled, "DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON!"

What had happened was Rocket said, "They do not!" in response to your claim that beds could just magically appear. It couldn't have been one of the others, it's not like they could leave to go buy one, so it had to be you, and it pissed him off that he was so sure and more frustrated that you wouldn't just admit it. He felt like you were making fun of him, calling him stupid for insinuating he would believe in something as dumb as a magically appearing bed.

To be honest, you weren't even fully sure why you were denying it yourself. You had just wanted to set it up and be done, and you were annoyed by him insisting that you admit you had done something nice for him, especially if he was now going to accuse it of being bribery.

You replied, "Why would I have done it? I don't even like you."

Rocket was only growing angrier, crying out, "I know it was you! None of the others could have done it, and I would have seen if one of those SHIELD people showed up with it!"

You shrugged then responded with, "I don't know what to tell you, I'm not in the business of making beds for raccoons."

You knew you were being a little mean. You had called him a raccoon once already, shortly after he arrived, and received a very curt scolding from him for it. You had also seen how it pissed him off when Peter called him that, always angrily insisting that he wasn't a raccoon. So, you had expected him to be a little miffed.

You hadn't expected him to snap and actually lunge for you.

You dodged just in time, luckily, and he landed on the floor, growling at you.

Peter yelled at him to knock it off and Rocket retorted back that you deserved it.

You just stared him down and said, "I'll punt you across the room next time, you little shit!" Why had you taken the time to make him a bed again?

"Alright, break it up!" said Kraglin firmly, standing up to show he meant business, used to having to break up Ravager fights and easily falling back into the old role of neutral mediator.

"Gladly," you say bitterly, turning to leave the room.

Rocket grumbled something unintelligible and walked in the opposite direction, hopping up into the rocking chair to sulk.

***

You went back and forth with Peter and Kraglin with the pranks most of the rest of the day, and it actually helped improve your mood about the Rocket situation, or at very least took your mind off it.

You got them back around lunch when you squirted some lemon juice in Peter's soda when he wasn't looking, and smeared jam on the inside of the handle of the fridge knowing Kraglin was about to make a sandwich. The looks on their faces were satisfying, but you discovered their way of getting you back later was to leave two glasses of water on the table. Upside down. With a note that read, "Have fun! Don't get wet! -Peter and Kraglin"

You didn't have fun, but at least a bath towel made into a makeshift dam around the glasses kept you from getting too wet.

You immediately thought of a way to get them back. Unfortunately it didn't work quite as planned.

That evening, sometime after supper when you finished washing the plate you had used, you placed a piece of duct tape just over the spout of the faucet, so that it was only mostly covering where the water came out. This way, when the water was turned on, it would spray directly onto the victim.

You knew that Peter or Kraglin would likely be the next ones to use the sink, as they had made their own dinner just after you had and were just starting to finish up.

You left the kitchen and went to the sitting room, pretending to look for a book to read but in reality you were eagerly waiting for the screams as one or both of the guys met their fate with an unexpected shower. You even considered returning to the kitchen once it happened just so you could tease them on not following their own advice, referencing the note attached to their previous prank about 'not getting wet.'

Not too long and your desires were met, however, the voice behind the cries wasn't the one you had intended to hear.

A loud, angry, bellowing of, "DAMMIT QUILL!" could be heard from the kitchen and your eyes went wide.

Oh no.

That was Yondu's voice. Apparently he had fancied a glass of water and got in the way of the prank, becoming its unintended victim.

You quietly made your way out the sitting room door, hearing Yondu scolding that Peter needed to grow up and then Peter saying, "I swear! I didn't do that one!"

You made it to the front door and heard Kraglin's voice defending Peter, "No, for once he didn't, sir. I've been with him all day! Pete didn't do that."

You quickly and quietly opened the door and escaped just in time to hear Yondu calling your name.

***

You decided it was probably safe to re-enter the house perhaps half an hour later after taking the time to do some light archery practice.

You were greeted inside by Mantis who was apparently coming to look for you anyway to see if you wanted to play a game of UNO.

You eyed her suspiciously, remembering the last time someone sent her to invite you for something. You lean in close to her and quietly say, "Before I say yes, I want you to answer honestly. Did Kraglin or Peter send you, and is this another trick?"

Mantis shook her head. "No, Gamora sent me. She said nothing about a trick."

You thought for a bit. Mantis didn't seem the type to flat-out lie, and Gamora already said she didn't get involved in Peter's mischief, so you decided it was safe and agreed.

Mantis grinned wide and took your hand, practically dragging you to the sitting room and exclaiming to the others upon entry that you had said yes to playing.

At the table you saw Gamora, Drax, Peter and Kraglin. You didn't know where the others were, but you thought it was probably better that Yondu was elsewhere just in case he was still cranky about getting caught in the line of fire. You also didn't feel like dealing with Rocket.

Gamora and Peter sat on one side of the table, with Drax at one end. Kraglin sat opposite of Peter and Mantis was about to take the seat across from Drax, only just releasing your hand when you realized the only other seat would be between her and Kraglin. You eyed him and said, "Do you promise to behave yourself if I sit here?"

Kraglin feigned being offended. "Of course, ma'am!"

You narrowed your eyes but went to take a seat hesitantly. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him reach his hand out toward your chair, thinking that you weren't looking. If the last couple days had gone any differently you might have thought he was going to try a creepy move and grab your ass, but you had a feeling that wasn't what he was going for.

Kraglin was startled when your hand suddenly darted to grab his wrist and pulled it up above the table.

Just what you thought. Whoopee cushion.

"Aha! Behave my ass!" you scold, ripping the whoopee cushion from his hand easily in his shock and sitting down. "I'm keeping this," you taunt, mimicking what said the other day when he took possession of it from you. You stuck your finger in the opening to quietly release the air from the sack and stowed it away in your pocket as he pouted.

Gamora narrowed her eyes at Kraglin. "You two said you were going to behave." She wasn't referencing how you had made Kraglin promise before sitting down, but rather she had actually made Peter and him promise that they would behave and not cause mischief during the game while Mantis fetched you, wanting to try and make friendly with their host with a game without their shenanigans. Honestly, she wasn't sure why she believed them.

Kraglin grumbled what sounded like a "Sorry, ma'am." and Peter changed the subject by starting the game.

Surprisingly they did behave while playing. All six rounds of it before everyone was tired of playing and decided to pack it up.

***

You had just finished washing up for bed and were exiting the bathroom when a cry to "watch out!" made you turn just in time for a giant spider to fly towards your face.

You realized too late it was only Peter throwing the rubber spider at you.

Too late to stop yourself from shrieking as you batted it away, too late to prevent your loss of balance as you reared back, much too late to stop your socks from slipping on the hardwood floor or you from falling backwards, and unfortunately much, much too late to stop yourself from a poor landing where you tried to catch your fall with your outstretched hand only to be met with blinding pain.

Your eyes rolled back and you couldn't even scream, the sound caught in your throat as if the pain were strangling you.

Peter realized his prank had gone wrong when instead of yelling at him, you only rolled to one side and muted gutted noises came out of your throat as you held your arm.

"Crap! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Peter cried, rushing toward you on the floor. Kraglin's voice could also be heard apologizing, footsteps coming from his and Yondu's room where he and Peter had been waiting for you to be done with your shower so they could perform what was supposed to be just a harmless jump scare.

Finally finding your voice you yell, "Don't touch me! Get the fuck away from me!" as Peter knelt down. Your senses were blurred into only pain and rage. Your only thoughts were "go away" and 'fix arm, stop pain.'

More apologies poured from their lips as you tried to right yourself up with only one arm as you couldn't bear to move the other.

Peter tried to help you up but you only kicked him away, still blinded by pain and rage. "I said don't fucking touch me!" Eventually you were able to use the nearby wall to use to crawl into a standing position while the other two made pleas for you to let them help, for you to calm down, and something about dislocation. You couldn't really think clearly enough to sort out what they wanted, and only kept (figuratively) pushing them away as you made your way to your bedroom door where Mantis was now standing looking concerned.

You could just make out other voices, but didn't have a clear understanding of what they were saying or what they wanted either. You were only focused on one goal, and that was getting to your room to assess your arm.

Mantis readily moved aside so you could enter, but then remained in the doorway once you entered, unintentionally preventing you from being able to close the door. You look at her, saying firmly, "In or out. Pick one."

Looking a little frightened, she chose out, and you slammed the door behind her, locking it out of instinct more than clear thinking.

Almost immediately there came pounding on the door, and Peter's shouts that you needed to come out and let someone help you.

"Fuck off! I've got it!" you yell back.

Outside the room was a mess of concern. Gamora stood in the doorway of her and Peter's room, yelling at Peter and Kraglin from across the landing for their foolishness once she realized well enough what had happened. Yondu was standing on the stairs, having heard the loud thump of a body hitting the floor and then you yelling at someone to get away. He came to investigate only to find the scene before him.

Mantis, intimidated by the yelling, sought comfort from Drax who was standing in his doorway wondering what in the world was going on.

Rocket had momentarily stepped out of the room with Groot to see what the commotion was about, but upon realizing it was you just waved the situation off and returned to the room. Not his problem.

Yondu asked Peter what all the fuss was about and Peter admitted that he and Kraglin had fucked up a prank and it lead, to what looked to Peter, you dislocating your elbow, and then you locked yourself in your room. This explanation made Yondu join in with Gamora's scolding.

Inside your room you assessed your arm. Nothing was broken, but the elbow was indeed dislocated. You felt sick, mostly from the pain but also from the unsettling feeling of having a bone out of joint. You knew what you needed to do, you just wished you had a shot or two of whiskey in you first.

Back outside the room Yondu scolded both Peter and Kraglin, telling them that he was putting a stop to this prank war. Gamora agreed, stating that it had gotten out of hand when the guys tried to argue that it was just an accident.

Yondu attempted to knock on your door and convince you to come out, but you wouldn't bite, calling back through the door that you had it handled and for everyone to leave you alone.

Yondu glared through the door at your stupidity. He thought you were acting like a child. "Ya need someone to help ya put it back in place, now get out here. That's an order!" That last line was mostly from habit, and it got pretty much the response anyone would have expected from you.

"I don't take orders from you!"

Yondu growled, not exactly used to being defied, especially not the rare occasions he was actually trying to be helpful. He'd seen his share of dislocations, both from his crew and their victims. It was never pretty. "Well ya can't just haul up in there like a wounded animal!"

You rolled your eyes inside your room, fighting the churning in your stomach as you positioned yourself for the unpleasant task, nestling the inner elbow of your injured arm against one of the short posts of your bed's headboard. You took several deep breaths, trying to gather the courage to do what needed to be done.

After a few moments of you not responding Yondu beat on the door again. "Ya better not have passed out in there!"

You groan and say, "I'm fine! Give me a minute to handle it!"

Before anyone can speak again a pop followed by a cry of pain and a string of curses was heard from your side of the door.

Yondu stepped away from the door and rubbed his face. "I don't believe it. She actually did it." he said in disbelief.

Peter approached the door. "Hey! Hey! You alright?"

More curses, followed by, "I told you I had it handled. Now piss off."

Yondu just shook his head and retreated to his room after that, muttering that you were insane and followed by a remorseful looking Kraglin.

Peter also went back to his room feeling guilty and receiving a scolding look from Gamora as well as an earful once they closed the door.

After a bit Drax convinced Mantis to also go back to your shared room, only planning to return to his once he was sure you'd let her in.

You heard a gentle knock and a soft voice asking, "Can I come back in now?"

You considered telling her no, that she chose 'out' so she could stay out, but now that a bit of pain had subsided and your mind was starting to clear you had the presence of mind to realize that you'd only be being a dick by doing that, so you got up and unlocked the door for her.

She entered sheepishly, asking if you were ok, clearly seeing the pain in your eyes.

"I'm fine, Mantis," you say curtly, tucking yourself into bed the best you could, settling for lying on your back with your arm resting on your stomach. "Go to sleep."

Mantis turned off the light and quietly crawled into her own bed. You could feel her staring at you as you stared at the ceiling and waited for sleep.

***

The next couple days you mostly stayed in your room, leaving only to shower, use the restroom, and eat. You knew with that kind of injury you weren't supposed to use your arm for a bit if you wanted it to heal, and that knowledge irritated you to no end.

You couldn't tend the garden, you couldn't practice your archery, or anything else that required the use of two hands. So, you just sulked in your room listening to music and reading.

The first day nobody bothered you much, sensing that you were very cranky. Peter tried to ask to look at your arm, but you ignored him, and he didn't press it. Gamora had later tried to tell you that you needed to splint your arm, and Yondu added that if not that then you at least needed to keep it in a sling, but you only sighed at them at took your glass of juice to your room, much to Yondu's irritation.

The second day they started getting more insistent when by around noon it became clear that you intended to stay in your room all day again. Yondu grumbled again to Kraglin that you were hiding away like a wounded animal. However, realizing that you'd only get mad if they all kept hounding you, they collectively decided to send Gamora in.

They knew you wouldn't listen to Peter or Kraglin since the injury was their fault and you were understandably not really talking to them right now. Mantis might have been a decent choice since you didn't ever really get angry at her, but she had no basic medical knowledge, so she was off the table. Yondu also could have been a decent second choice, but everyone, including himself, knew he wouldn't have the patience to deal with you if you started refusing to listen to reason.

Gamora went up to your room and took it as a good sign that the door was open. She peered inside to see you sitting at your desk and knocked on the doorframe.

"What?" you asked, not looking up from your book.

"I just wanted to-"

"If this is about my arm again, it'll be fine." you say stubbornly.

Gamora entered your room without bothering to ask permission. "If you just let me look-"

"No." you say curtly.

Gamora took a breath. "We really do just want to help you."

"I don't need it. I've been fixing myself up all by myself for a long time. I don't need help now."

"Look, I can't force you, but please understand that it's not weakness to accept help."

You finally look at her, your expression hard. "I never said it was. Just said I didn't need it."

Gamora stared back at you. You were just so stubborn. Reminded her of a few people she knew... if she were honest. One being herself. There was a time where she had believed if she couldn't solve every problem on her own, it made her weak. This wasn't helped by the fact Thanos raised her to be an assassin, and punished such weakness. However, after she joined the Guardians, after she found a family, she came about unlearning that. It was ok to need help sometimes. It didn't make you weak. She only wished she could help you realize it, but she knew that pushing wasn't going to make it happen. You needed to get there on your own. You needed to trust them.

"Ok," she relented, "but know if you ever do need our help, we're here, alright?"

You shortly nod and turn back to your book. "Got it."

She then left you alone. Sometimes, to get someone to come to you willingly, you needed to give them space.

***

The next time anyone saw you was late that evening when you finally decided to eat something for supper. You were in the mood for peanut butter and jam, though opening the jars proved tricky for obvious reasons, but you managed.

You were in the kitchen having just finished your sandwich when Drax came in the kitchen. He looked around a bit before asking if you had seen Rocket. You hadn't, but before you could say as much you heard the sound of growling followed by Rocket's voice shouting, "Fuck off!"

Your eyes flew wide and you bolted for the door, throwing it open to see Rocket fighting with another raccoon a few meters away, rolling on the ground with Rocket cursing up a storm as the raccoon snarled and snapped at him.

You swore, and pushed past Drax to grab the old shot gun you left hidden in a cabinet near the back door along with a couple shells and ran back outside.

You popped the shells in and took aim, trying to get a shot where you wouldn't hit Rocket along with the other raccoon. Your aim was a little shaky due to your injured arm, the shot gun being just heavy enough to make steadying it with that arm a task, even with the adrenaline dulling the pain. You were worried you might accidentally shoot Rocket, but you had to take the shot. If you didn't, and the raccoon bit him, he would likely be as good as dead anyway.

In what was likely seconds but felt much longer, you managed to line up a shot when the raccoon managed to pin Rocket on his back, the wide body of the raccoon up in the air providing a target that with your SHIELD honed skills would be as easy as hitting a cow's ass with a shovel on a normal day. With your injury, however... well, you could still make it. You had to.

You took the shot. The crack rang loudly through the evening air and the raccoon fell off of Rocket and onto the grass, dead.

Rocket's attention turned to you as you lowered the shotgun and quickly approached him, he was about to snark off that he had it handled when you said in a firm but yet still slightly worried sounding voice, "Did it bite you?"

He sat up irritably but didn't answer. He didn't need you of all people to save him. He looked down at his body. There was blood, but it looked to be just the after spray from where you shot the animal. Terran weapons were clearly messier than blasters.

"Did it bite you?!" you ask more urgently.

He looked himself over. "No? What's it to you anyway? I had it handled!"

"Raccoons carry rabies, you dipshit!" you scold. Removing the other shell from the gun you tell him to get inside.

"I'm not a raccoon! And I don't have whatever rabies is!" Rocket shouted at you angrily. "And I don't take orders from you!"

You groan. You didn't have time for his bellyaching right now. "You utter gobshite! I'm not talking about you! I'm talking about that!" you point to the now very dead raccoon, and just to be mean you threw in a, "You know, that fucker there that looks exactly like your furry ass!" He glared at you but you didn't care. "They carry rabies! Now get inside so we can get you looked over and you better hope like hell it didn't bite you."

Rocket grumbled and started walking back to the house, making sure to complain just loud enough for you to hear that he was going because he wanted to, not because you told him too.

You follow behind him. You would dispose of the dead raccoon in a bit.

"That was an amazing shot." Drax told you as you walked by. "I was sure you would have hit Rocket."

"Not now, Drax, please." you say, walking past him.

You got inside to find that the gunshot had attracted an audience, and everyone else was now in the kitchen wondering what had just happened. You put the shotgun and shell back in the cabinet, making a mental note to clean it later. It had belonged to your father, and never saw much-or any really- use from you as there wasn't exactly a lot to need defending from, wildlife-wise, where you lived. Hell, you couldn't even remember the last time you had even seen a raccoon around before tonight, and even when you had you never needed to defend yourself from one. If you left them alone, they returned the favor.

You turn back from the cabinet and lock eyes with Rocket. "Now are you going to let someone check you over or..." you left the question hanging, your tone clear that there was no 'or.' He was going to get checked out. You tried to ignore the irony and your own hypocrisy.

"What happened?" Gamora asked.

"He got attacked by a raccoon." You answered.

Rocket indignantly spoke up. "I had it handled!" He heard Peter snickering and he snapped, "What?!"

Peter just shook his head and quipped, "Already fighting with family..."

Rocket growled. "Shut up, Star-Munch!"

"Table. Now. You need to get checked out. Quit stalling," you command, irritation and exhaustion present in your voice. "I'm not even kidding."

"So what if it did bite me? How bad could rabies possibly be?" Rocket snarked.

"What's rabies?" asked Drax.

You sigh and say flatly, "A very horrible way to die." You look to Peter, thinking that maybe you had a way to get through to Rocket, and ask, "You ever see Old Yeller?"

"Yeah..." Peter answered, though seeming slightly unsure.

"You remember what happens to the dog?"

His eyes widen a bit. "Yeah..."

"Then will you please explain to him why this is serious?"

Peter looked at an annoyed Rocket. "Dude, she's right. Just let us see."

Rocket rolled his eyes and hopped on the table. "Fine! But only to get you all to stop whining."

Peter checked him over, as it was silently agreed with a nod that Rocket would trust him more. While he checked Rocket you thought to ask if he was given any vaccinations when they got here. Peter said that everyone had, but they had been given so many that they weren't sure what they all were.

You knew that Fury should be stopping by the next day for a weekly check-in, and said you'd contact him to suggest a booster for Rocket just in case.

Luckily, Rocket was bite-free, and he gloated as much. "See! I told you! I had everything under control!"

You roll your eyes. "Right. That's why the raccoon had you pinned under it, then. Yeah?"

"Did not!" Rocket protested.

"Well you certainly weren't having a cup of tea, were you?" you said, the tone in your voice saying that you were done.

Drax spoke up. "It's true. The beast was winning."

"It was not!"

"Enough," you say. "Go get cleaned up. I'm tired of hearing you. "

After he skulked off Gamora asked, "Just out of curiosity, what would have happened to him if he had gotten bitten."

You avoided telling her. "He wasn't, but I'm going to take the animal into town in the morning to see if it was rabid. Just in case."

Gamora asked again. "What would have happened?"

You frown. You didn't know how to put it delicately, and the others could tell you were trying and it worried them. Your eyes meet Peter's.

His eyes widened in understanding. "We can't do that to him." Peter said, shaking his head.

Yondu spoke up for the first time. "Do what?"

You frown. "Just calm down. He wasn't bitten. We won't have to."

Yondu sounded more irritated. "Do what?"

You sigh and look to the ground for a moment before looking back up to answer, "If he had gotten bitten, and he hadn't already received a rabies vaccination..." You pause, choosing your words carefully, "the only merciful thing to do... would be to put him down."

"Put him down?" asked Drax.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?" You kept your voice down, afraid to say it too loud and for Rocket to hear. "We'd have to kill him. There's no cure, and if we didn't, he'd go rabid, and die horribly." You saw the horrified looks on the other's faces and repeated, "But he wasn't bitten, so that doesn't have to happen. He'll be fine. I'm just going to check with Fury that he was given the shot, and if he wasn't I'll make sure he gets one, just in case. Ok?"

They seemed to relax slightly and you stated that you were going to go take care of the raccoon corpse in your yard, mostly to just get away from the situation and hoping they would have dispersed when you got back.

You didn't even get to take three steps before you felt someone grab your arm. Luckily it wasn't your bad one. "What the hell?" you ask irritably, turning to see it was Kraglin, who had been so quiet the whole time you actually hadn't noticed him.

"I really don't think you should be doing that. If it was big enough to pin down Rocket, then it's too big for ya to be lifting with your arm injured how it is."

You sigh angrily and try to pull away, but his grip held firm. Strong for a skinny guy, you thought. "Let go." you say, irritation thick in your voice.

"No. If this is the only way for you to take it easy and let us help, then I ain't letting ya go til you agree to step back."

You look at the others and you can tell they aren't going to be on your side. You roll your eyes and focus them on the space above Peter's head, where you could see where the ceiling met the wall. "You can't help if I can't unlock the shed," you say, hoping to appeal to their sense.

"Fine," Peter said. "But I'll do the lifting. It's mostly my fault you got hurt anyhow."

"Fine," you grumble, just loud enough to be heard and for Kraglin to release you.

You lead the way out the door, Peter, and also Kraglin and Yondu who wanted to see the raccoon, following behind. Gamora and Drax stayed behind to make sure Mantis and Groot were ok, seeing that they looked a bit shaken.

You instruct none of them to touch the corpse and unlock the shed, turning on your phone's flashlight and pointing out an old box and a shovel to Peter.

"Wow, you've got a nice workshop in here," Peter said, noting the various saws and tools set up around the room that he could make out in the dim light.

You used to make things with your dad and brother growing up, and had inherited most of the tools inside, but instead of traveling down memory lane you just told Peter, "Another day. Let's get the raccoon sorted, please."

Peter obliged and grabbed the items so you could finish the task at hand.

Yondu and Kraglin were staring at the raccoon when you returned.

"Thought it'd be bigger." Kraglin said, cocking his head.

He was right. It did look smaller now that it was dead, but it was still a decent size.

Peter unceremoniously scooped it up with the shovel and dumped it in the box.

"We should probably keep that in the shed until morning," you said, "I don't want it stinking up the car overnight. I can wash the blood off the shovel real quick-" You reached for the shovel but Peter handed it off to Kraglin instead. You looked at them in annoyance. "I'm not helpless, you know."

"And it won't kill you to accept some help, girl," retorted Yondu, fed up with your stubborn attitude.

You roll your eyes and call after an already retreating Kraglin, "Try not to tangle yourself up in the hose this time!" You could see him bristle at the taunt, but he ignored you.

After everything was back in the shed and you locked it up everyone headed inside. The others were nowhere to be seen and you assumed they had all decided to just go to bed, in which you also followed suit, but not before sending a quick text to Maria (Yes, you had said you'd contact Fury, but Fury doesn't exactly text) asking about the vaccination situation surrounding Rocket.

You hadn't expected an answer so late at night, but she responded asking what had happened, correctly assuming that you wouldn't be asking unless something had.

You kept it short. Said you shot a raccoon and wanted to be sure Rocket had his shots.

She didn't respond, and you couldn't help but wonder if that was a bad sign.

#gotg #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #yondu udonta #peter quill #starlord #kraglin #pranks #gamora #rocket raccoon #raccoon #drama

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Note

Nie Huaisang's reaction to the events in quiet room-verse

Chapter 3 of The Quiet Room (ao3 or tumblr pt 1, pt 2)

Nie Huaisang’s day began, as always, with noise.

The Unclean Realm was like that – there wasn’t a single shichen of the day when there wasn’t at least some racket going on in the background, whether the sound of sabers whistling through the air and the grunting of men at the thrice-daily trainings on the fields, the din of hammering rising up from the forges alongside the smoke, the squeals and squawks of the various types of animals being harried to and fro, the shouting and haggling and people sounds that filled the bustling markets (both day and night) that had sprung up within the Unclean Realm’s fortress as a wartime tradition some generations back and which had never gone out of fashion.

Guests sometimes complained about it, saying that people walked through the halls at night (what did they think halls were for) or that there were too many birds outside (that didn’t sound like a problem) or the cats were yowling again (okay, the feral cat thing was a bit of a problem but at least they didn’t have a rat problem) or about all the loud noises of living people. Those who were born and raised there scarcely noticed it, and those that stayed acclimated eventually.

Those who really couldn’t handle it built themselves thicker walls.

Nie Huaisang was woken up that day with an especially loud bang that he suspected was something important tipping over somewhere, never a fortuitous start, but the day itself went pleasantly enough after that. He lazed around in the morning, snuck in a belated breakfast from an indulgent kitchen, begged out of saber training in the middle of the day with an excuse so transparent that Nie Zonghui looked like he was considering constructing a window with it, and finally settled quite happily on the balcony with a few of his favorite birds to paint.

It was not, strictly speaking, his balcony – it connected to the sect leader’s suite of rooms, not his own, and his brother used it fairly often when he was flying in and out of the Unclean Realm on business.

Nie Mingjue was currently away at the Cloud Recesses, not on business. Visiting his handsome lover again, and Nie Huaisang found it amusing all over again that his misanthrope of a brother, of all people, had somehow managed to snag the most eligible young master of their generation – that he had what everyone else wanted and couldn’t get.

His brother. Good for him!

Still, his brother being gone meant that the balcony was free, and it was one of Nie Huaisang’s favorite places to lurk: he had an excellent view of so many parts of the Unclean Realm, wonderful light, and no one would dare to intrude on his brother’s domain just to bother him.

It was a good day, bright and noisy in the best of ways, right up until it wasn’t.

Nie Huaisang felt more than saw Baxia approaching, the thrum of his own saber – casually propping up his easel – immediately recognizable, and he couldn’t help but smile in delight at the thought of seeing his brother even if it meant he was probably not getting out of saber practice today.

It was only odd, he thought, that the smear on the horizon that would be his brother approaching seemed larger than usual –

And then, all of a sudden, it was very much not a good day.

His brother was covered in blood, clearly his own, and his eyes were vacant and dull – shock, perhaps? – and he was leaning on Lan Wangji, who looked equally awful. There was fresh blood staining the back of his neck and creeping up his shoulders, ugly shadows on white robes, and his face was stricken, savaged by pain that was not merely external.

Nie Huaisang was frozen for a moment, watching them come, unable to believe it, and yet –

“Doctor!” he screamed, his voice dropping into a register he’d never used before, loud and bellowing and straight from the belly. A battlefield voice, like his brother’s, and he could see out of the corner of his eye all the disciples in the training field jumping, startled, as if they’d been shocked by lightning. “Someone get a doctor!”

The next bit was chaos, of course: the thunder of dozens of feet on stone, servants running to get anyone with medical skill, running to get water and bandages and acupuncture needles, anything that would help, and everyone talking all at the same time even as a dozen hands reached out to pluck the two tired cultivators down from the sky.

Not two, Nie Huaisang corrected himself as he took the small child out of his brother’s arms – said child was yawning and frowning, clearly displeased at being taken away from Nie Mingjue’s arms, and Nie Huaisang couldn’t blame him one bit; it was undoubtedly the best place in the world to be. There was another child in Lan Wangji’s trembling hands as well.

“Any more you’ve got hidden away?” he asked Lan Wangji, drawing him away from the disciples who had eyes only for their sect leader. “Under your clothing, maybe?”

Nie Huaisang would rather be there, with them, with his brother, but he’d studied medicine with about as much fervor as he’d studied any other serious subject – which was to say, none at all – and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help. For the first time he bitterly regretted his laziness.

Not even during the war had his brother ended up – like this.

“No,” Lan Wangji said. His voice was small and sad, and he was shaking. “Just…just them.”

“Good to know,” Nie Huaisang said. “How badly are you injured? You’re still standing, but I don’t like your color…”

“I want to report,” Lan Wangji said. His lips were pressed tightly together, and he was looking at something in the distance; it was as if he’d lost his soul.

“You’re hurt,” Nie Huaisang said patiently. “Is it anything that can’t wait…?”

“I want to report,” Lan Wangji said again, more insistently, and – well, he was Lan sect. They thrived on rules; it was their baseline, the foundation of their mental world, and whatever had happened to the two of them, Lan Wangji was clearly fragile right now.

“You can report to me,” Nie Huaisang said, a snap decision. “I’m the heir; in my brother’s absence, I have authority to take whatever actions are necessary once I understand the situation.”

And his brother was absent, or as good as: he’d collapsed the second they’d landed, eyes rolling up into his skull – he’d clearly been clinging to consciousness by the barest thread of willpower by the end of it.

“Before anything else, though, is there anything we need to know about my brother’s condition?” he asked. “Anything that will help, or hurt –”

Is it a qi deviation, he wanted to ask but didn’t, couldn’t. It couldn’t be that, it couldn’t, not his brother – not his father, not again –

(His brother’s fingers were bloody, nails broken, as if he’d been tearing at something with them, and Nie Huaisang didn’t like the way they matched up in size to some of the marks on his brother’s face.)

“He needs sound,” Lan Wangji said. “He can’t be left alone…he was in the jingshi.”

“The – wait, the quiet room?” Nie Huaisang gaped at Lan Wangji. “That horrible, awful pit of hell that you crazy people threw into your décor – that jingshi?”

He paused, grimaced. “Uh, no offense –”

“You’re right,” Lan Wangji said, and buried his face into his hands. “You’re right.”

Nie Huaisang did a quick calculation, handed the children off to some servants, and then dragged the other man out of the room and towards his brother’s study.

“Sit,” he commanded, and seated himself in the sect leader’s place unconsciously. “Don’t worry about quiet; after he showed up like that, there’s no way anyone will leave him alone – he’ll be begging for some peace soon enough. Now report.”

Lan Wangji straightened his back – with a wince, Nie Huaisang noted, and that meant whatever injury he had was on his back – and reported.

Nie Huaisang took notes at the beginning, but then stopped after he broke the brush between his fingers, something that had never happened to him before.

“Keep going,” he said when Lan Wangji paused. “Don’t stop.”

Lan Wangji continued his recitation, his voice dull and monotone, but the words…

“Thank you for telling me,” Nie Huaisang squeezed out, feeling strangely light-headed. He stood up and went to the door, catching the first servant he saw. “I want the defensive arrays closed to all visiting cultivators, and all visitor tokens revoked until I say otherwise – especially any from the Jin or Lan sects. Go tell whoever needs to be told to accomplish that.”

The servant stared at him. “Second Young Master –”

“That was not,” Nie Huaisang said, “a request.”

The servant saluted.

“You’re bleeding,” Lan Wangji said.

Nie Huaisang turned his head and frowned at him. “I think you’ll find that you’re the one that’s bleeding.”

“No, you –” He touched his nose.

Nie Huaisang didn’t understand until he echoed the action on his own face and realized his nose was bleeding. A bit strange; he hadn’t suffered from nosebleeds since the time his father died.

He pressed a handkerchief to his face and went back to his brother’s desk. “All right,” he said. “That will get us a bit more time, I think, though they’ll probably waste forever going to get Zonghui’s sign-off on the orders –”

But no, he was wrong – wrong again – because he could see the distant shimmer that was the Unclean Realm’s shielding array flickering into existence in the distance, could hear the sound of drums alerting the common people that they should withdraw back to their homes to avoid the possibility of interfering with a battle.

Perhaps alone of the Great Sects, Qinghe still held regular drills on what to do in the event of an invasion, and even through the thick walls of the study he could hear the casual grumbles of all the people forced to cut their day short – not too much grumbling, of course, since they knew that the Nie sect would send money to each household to compensate them for their trouble as long as they cleared the way fast enough. Doing something like that meant that they would always move, and quickly, too; it was ridiculously expensive, of course, but it meant that the streets would be clear and that no spy or troublemaker would be able to make their way into the Unclean Realm by blending in with the crowd.

It meant that they would be able to see their enemies coming.

“Was that necessary?” Lan Wangji asked. “They will not invade.”

“No?” Nie Huaisang said, and laughed. It hurt his throat. “You’re surer of that than I am. After all, you just told me that my er-ge and san-ge just conspired to murder my da-ge.”

Lan Wangji flinched. “I do not think it was…”

“It might not have been intentional on your brother’s part,” Nie Huaisang conceded. “Meng Yao, though? He was my brother’s deputy; there is no way he didn’t know what my brother thinks about that place. Piece of shit.”

They’d grown distant, Nie Huaisang remembered; his brother, who never abandoned anyone and guarded his people closer than gold, had turned his back on Meng Yao, and had needed to be coaxed back into accepting him. He’d assumed his brother was being petty over something or another, but that was petty of him, short-sighted, thinking only of himself and how much he’d missed his friend.

He resolved to find out exactly what had happened between them as soon as his brother was capable of telling him. He thought that it might be important.

“Your brother, though,” he added. “I always thought he was sincere towards my brother. That he really loved him.”

“He does. I’m sure of it.”

“Well, sincerity doesn’t mean shit,” Nie Huaisang said. “If he didn’t intend on murder, he did something that would have ended up that way. Even accidental killings call for justice, and this is – this isn’t okay, Lan-xiong.”

“I agree.” Lan Wangji closed his eyes. “I have asked Chifeng-zun for permission to stay.”

At first Nie Huaisang was confused – why would Lan Wangji need permission to hang out in the Unclean Realm? – and then he realized Lan Wangji meant for good.

The first thing he thought was oh, wow, that’s going to have some serious political implications and the next thing, somewhat more reasonably, was, I’m really angry about this and so is he.

“You are correct. Even if my brother’s feelings are sincere, it is no excuse,” Lan Wangji said. “In his desire to help your brother, in his refusal to listen to him and trust him, he nearly killed him. He is sect leader; no matter the reason, in the end, all things that happen within the Cloud Recesses are his decision.”

Just like what happend to me.

“We’ll deal with it,” Nie Huaisang promised. Even if his brother might be inclined to forgive after a while, overly generous as he always was with those he loved, he himself would not; Lan Wangji nodded, looking relieved. “Now can we please get you some medical assistance? Thirty-three hits with the discipline whip – I’d be dead. If I were you, I’d be dead. I can’t believe your brother agreed to it.”

Mine never would.

Nie Huaisang had never gotten along with Lan Wangji before, their personalities too distant, but their eyes met and there was a moment of perfect understanding.

He helped Lan Wangji up and let him lean on him as they went towards to the medical room.

When they were most of the way there, Lan Wangji spoke again. “Nie-gongzi…”

“Huaisang, please. Nie Huaisang if you must. If you’re going to be staying here, we can’t be formal with each other. Unclean Realm rule!”

“…Nie Huaisang.”

“Yes?”

“Your brother…”

Nie Huaisang stopped and looked at Lan Wangji, who was struggling for words more than he struggled to step forward. “What about him?”

“He was…once lovers with Lianfeng-zun?”

“What?” Nie Huaisang asked, surprised into a laugh. “No, of course not. He’d never betray er-ge like that; he’s been mad for him ever since they were children. Even if he was the sort of person who would do something like that, which he’s most assuredly not, he’s also not the sort of person who would ever enter into a relationship with a subordinate, and Meng Yao was his subordinate for most of the time they knew each other. They were friends at best.”

He paused, then, the laughter fading quickly. “Why do you ask?”

“Lianfeng-zun told my brother they were.” Lan Wangji was staring dully ahead again, and swallowed hard. “That they’d been lovers before.”

“And what, that their fight was some lover’s tiff?” Lan Wangji’s silence was eloquent. “That’s ridiculous. Why in the world would he concoct such an absurd and pointless lie, so easily disproven? What does it even get him?”

Lan Wangji averted his eyes.

A moment of thought later, and Nie Huaisang had his answer, his spine growing cold.

“Your brother wanted to have them both,” he said, and felt his nails drive into the center of his palms. “He wanted it so much that he didn’t bother questioning it when Meng Yao told him that he was also lovers with my brother, because if my brother was with him, then it wouldn’t be a betrayal for him to be with him, too. He thought…what? That they were some happy triad?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“My brother doesn’t know.”

Lan Wangji hesitated, but shook his head. “I do not think so.”

“Fuck.”

Nie Huaisang did not want to have to break his brother’s heart all over again.

“Okay,” he said, and closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them again. “Okay. Fine. This is – terrible, yes, absolutely but at least it tells us that whatever your brother’s motives, Meng Yao, at minimum, must be malicious.”

Lan Wangji frowned, then followed his thought and nodded. “He deliberately utilized a falsehood to convince my brother to enter into a relationship with him. He may have used others to convince him to trap your brother in the jingshi.”

“Assuming your brother isn’t in on the plan to kill da-ge, and I’m sorry, we really do have to keep that option open. Even Meng Yao…it’s a surprise, you know? He was my brother’s deputy, they got on really well – even though they had their differences, that big fight, it seemed like they were getting over it. They swore brotherhood, and you know how seriously my brother takes that sort of thing.”

Lan Wangji nodded again.

“Also, it’s just – mystifying,” Nie Huaisang continued, slipping easily into the tone of complaint as he shouldered Lan Wangji’s weight again and continued on their way to the doctors’ wing. “Meng Yao’s so smart! Even if he wanted to kill my brother to get your brother all to himself, which he very well might, he’s also been breaking his back to come here on a weekly basis to help my brother, playing him that Clarity song that your brother found –”

“I thought he had stopped that?”

“Well, yes, temporarily, but that’s just because da-ge was getting worried about how bad things were getting and wanted to get things in order…” Nie Huaisang came to a sudden halt once again. “Lan-xiong, I’ve been assuming – we’ve all been assuming – all the while that my brother’s deteriorating health is because of the war, and that the songs er-ge and san-ge were playing for him were helping slow it down. But what if…”

He didn’t want to say it.

“If there was one murder attempt, there may be another,” Lan Wangji said, his voice heavy. “Musical cultivation can harm as well as heal – it is possible.”

Nie Huaisang scrubbed his face with his sleeve. “But…doesn’t that mean your brother has to be part of it? He’s the one who came up with the idea in the first place.”

“He may have originated it, and Lianfeng-zun alterted it without his knowing. Your brother…might not have noticed such a substitution.”

“He’s very nearly tone-deaf,” Nie Huaisang agreed, not without fondness. “It’s amazing he understands human speech, really. It’s possible, I guess.”

“Brother’s involvement is…also possible,” Lan Wangji said, and closed his eyes. “I do not wish to believe it, but – if there truly have been two attempts, and he has not only failed to notice, but is in each one a key part…”

“We’ll work it out,” Nie Huaisang said. “Now come along. We need to get you back into something resembling mobility and health and fast.”

Lan Wangji hesitated, and Nie Huaisang knew why: do you need me better in order to fight against my brother?

“We have disciples for that,” he reminded him. “No, it’s just, you see, I’m terrible with children, and someone is going to need to chase after the two you brought with you – they’ll be laughing and screaming and crying and snotting all over the place before you know it, mark my words, and there goes any chance of getting a decent night’s sleep for the next few years. I’m telling you, Lan-xiong, you have no idea about how children are – they’re going to make so much noise!”

Lan Wangji smiled.

It was such an unusual sight that Nie Huaisang almost forgot to take his next step.

“Yes,” he said, and his words had the feeling of a vow. “They will.”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #the quiet room #okay technically this is me jumping ahead into the next round of prompts in advance #but I wanted to write more of this #breadlovinggay

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xwing-baby · 3 years

Text

Impulse: Aberration (Javier Peña x Reader)

Summary: Top of your class, the DEA have sent you to Colombia to be the poster child for their new ‘placement program’. You’re thrown in at the deep end into the drug war. With Agent Peña as your mentor, what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: 18+ SMUT!!! Details of torture, description of injury, blood, murder, discussions of death, alcohol, penetrative sex, hurt/comfort, Javi has one one to deal with big emotions and thats it.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Aberration: a departure from what is normal, usual, or expected, typically an unwelcome one.

<-- Previous Chapter // Masterlist // Next Chapter -->

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Everything had felt off about this raid since the beginning. You had put the feeling down to nerves, it would be the first raid you were involved in that was outside the city limits, four hours outside the city into the jungle. A friend of Javier’s had gone missing a week ago, her ties to the cartels meant her abduction was important. As soon as a call came in mentioning her name and a possible location, Carrillo and Peña were immediately on it despite hesitation from you and Murphy. You never trusted calls from anonymous callers, especially ones calling a group of police into the jungle where nobody could find their bodies were it to go south.

You went along, not wanting to miss out on a trip into the jungle. Three months in the country and you had barely stepped outside the streets of Bogota or Medellin. Summer was coming fast, the humidity once you got under the canopy was immense. With a Kevlar tact vest on top it made for an entirely uncomfortable situation and made everyone more irritable before anything had even gone wrong.

The raid was a complete bust. A trap. If it wasn’t for Carrillo’s forward thinking in bringing twice as many men as usual, you wouldn’t have made it out alive. It was messy, more damage was done than necessary and the gains were pitiful. You didn’t find the girl or anything of interest, just more dead bodies. It was a setup, by the time you drove all the way back into Medellin whatever they had needed you out for would have happened.

It had taken all day to get out there, for nothing. Exhausted and frustrated, you walked back to the truck. Javier was pissed. You had been so sure she would be here you’d even grabbed some spare clothes from your locker for her so she could wear something clean on the drive back. But she wasn’t here.

You opened the door and went to climb up when you noticed Javier talking to one of the soldiers. You couldn’t hear what was said over the noise of engines but you quickly realised something was up when Javi began to walk back towards the house you’d just come from. You shut the truck door and jogged to catch up with him.

“Javi! What are you doing?” You called after him, “We’re done here,” Javi didn’t stop walking.

“You’re done. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow,” He said, a new determination that he hadn’t had before was set in his eyes that only made you more suspicious. He started to walk away from you again.

“Peña! What is going on?” You grabbed his arm and stopped him walking away any further. He glared at you, jaw clenching. He pulled his arm out of your grip harshly and started walking away again. Then it dawned on you. “They found her?”

“Carrillo’s got the asshole who took her. You’re going to get in the truck and go back to the city. This is nothing to do with you,”

“I’m not done until you are, Peña,” You insisted.

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” He spat.

“Learnt from the best,” You smiled sarcastically. He sighed, ran his hands over his face. You waited for an answer, one hand on your hip, impatient.

“You know what? Fuck it! Come with me,” He exclaimed, “You want to see the real shit? Fucking come with me now. Don’t talk, don’t fucking breathe unless your told,”

You gulped down any rebuttal and nodded, shocked by his outburst. He turned around and began walking, you quickly followed behind.

You wished you had just done as you were told. Had listened for once. You had never regretted something so quickly in your life.

Carrillo had found the missing girl's body in a ditch at the back of the ranch, alongside her panicking murderer. Caught red handed, he had only survived a short chase before being captured. Carrillo and Peña had known the girl for a long time, this was personal.

He dragged the man inside, hands tied behind his back on a chair. All remaining soldiers had been sent back to the city, as you should have too. Carrillo had done a number on the man before you entered. Welts had grown on his face, blood dripping from his mouth. The man in the chair smirked as you and Pena entered, a gargled chuckle slipping from his lips.

You had to remain calm and collected, like the sight of Carrillo looming behind a bloodied man didn’t send shivers down your spine. You had asked to come after all.

You stood in the corner of the room; arms crossed over your chest trying to look intimidating. Not that you needed to be, the two men did that well enough on their own. Peña stayed with you on the side-lines for a short while, watching Carrillo take the man apart. Peña asked questions, his voice heavy and loud, booming against the walls of the empty house. The man didn’t answer, laughing at them for thinking he would break. Eventually Javier lost all patience and joined Carrillo in torturing the victim.

You had heard of Carrillo’s more uncivilised methods; you had seen the aftermath left on his clothes before. It was scary to watch but nothing matched the fear Javier instilled in you. You had never seen him so angry, almost unrecognisable as he stalked around the man barking questions at him. He screamed at the man’s insolence until he was red in the face. You were terrified, fear pulsing through you. You were stuck the wall and had to force your eyes away as a resounding crack echoed through the room as a hammer met the man’s hand.

Vengeance spurred the men on to no end. You stood and watched them force information out of the man. Every punch, every cry, every word spat at the man chipped away at you. You had prided yourself on being unshakable. You weren’t scared of anything. But being trapped in a room with two men fully capable and willing to kill you, shook you. Not to mention the horror they were producing in front of your very eyes.

It was pointless. Entirely gratuitous. The man was incapable of speaking, his jaw broken already. They weren’t going to get anything else from him but they continued until even his sobs of pain were quiet. Tears prick your eyes and you bit your tongue, not daring to make a sound. You looked up for a second and locked eyes with the dying man. Blood covered his face, jaw cracked and hanging loosely in his skin. His body twitched, lying limp against the restraints. It was worse than any horror shows you’d ever seen, but you couldn’t look away either. You knew he’d done terrible things, a trafficker of people and drugs; he’d murdered the men’s friend and yet you found yourself thinking he deserved better than this.

A gunshot went off suddenly, making you jump and turn away quickly. Blood splattered onto the floor and onto your shoes making you jump out the way. It was over.

Stepping back into the sunlight your head felt full of cotton. So impossibly loud with thoughts but with no room to breathe. You wanted to scream; let all the horror you had seen out. But you couldn’t.

Carrillo and Javier rinsed their hands under a tap outside, red tinged water stained the earth below. You scuffed your shoes in the dirt hoping it would hide the blood until you could clean them or throw them out entirely. You kept your distance from them, arms wrapping around your chest to self-comfort. The two men muttered to each other, Javi catching your eye for a second. You couldn’t look at him, averting your eyes you didn’t see the remorse in them.

You should never have seen that. Not so soon. You wondered how often Javier had done that, he didn’t seem phased at all. Nobody did. You felt a little childish for getting upset, for reacting like a normal person, so stayed silent.

Two men came and collected the body from the house, throwing it into the ditch they had found the girl's body. Wild animals would take care of the rest. Once it was done, you cleared out. You silently followed Javier back to the truck. You were hesitant to be alone with him, the savagery of his actions settled in now. You sat in the passenger seat, shaking. You refused to even look at him, keeping your eyes on your lap, picking out the dirt from under your nails to distract yourself.

Javier didn’t know what to say to you. He’d regretted the decision to let you come along almost immediately. He’d shocked himself with his own depravity, Helena had meant a lot to him and Carrillo too. In that room something overtook him, he’d forgotten you were there until the bullet went in the bastard and he came back to reality.

Now you sat next to him, shaking, and trying not to cry. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut. He drove for an hour before it became unbearable.

“Are you okay?” He asked. A stupid question, obviously you weren’t but he didn’t know what else to say. You had asked to come with him, it wasn’t entirely his fault. He couldn’t apologise for what had happened. He just wanted you to talk to him.

Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to find words. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to show weakness but you couldn’t hold it together any longer.

“You can’t do that Javi! Y-you can’t do that to people!” You cried. Tears spilled as the words tumbled out your mouth and you sobbed, overtaken by emotion. It broke Javier’s heart. “How could you do that?”

Javier sighed heavily and shook his head. He should have expected it would end like this. He had no answer for you. His silence made you quiet again. You turned away from him in your seat, watching the jungle faze out again into green hills and cattle ranches. Frustrated, Javi switched the radio on to fill the silence.

You didn’t speak again for the rest of the journey. Four hours of driving stewing over your own thoughts. You wanted nothing more than to go to bed, curl up under the cover and pray that it was all some horrible nightmare, or some premonition. You could wake up, redo the day, and know not to go back there again and relive the horror.

Javier wasn’t sure what to do, this was the first low you’d hit. A big one at that. As if he wasn’t upset already about the brutal death of his friend, guilt was now eating him alive. He shouldn’t have ever allowed you to come, should have left you at base with Steve. You had to be stubborn. You had to be defiant. All day you had been getting on his nerves, the mission went badly and he was so angry your final pestering made him snap. He didn’t have the patience or the foresight, when the intensity of a situation overtook him it was all he cared about. He didn’t think about the consequences of his actions beyond revenge for Helena. This was yet another reminder of how badly the job of being your mentor was suited to him.

Finally, he parked the truck in the garage and followed you up to the apartments. Your cheeks were stained with tears, you shuffled inside obviously in your head and upset. Javi wouldn’t let you go just yet.

“Rookie come and have a drink,” He said, breaking the hours of silence. He unlocked his door and pushed it open with one hand.

“I’m going to bed,” You replied quietly, already walking up the stairs to your apartment.

“It wasn’t a question,” He said firmly. You stopped on the stairs and sighed, not bothering to fight him anymore you turned around and ducked under his arm and into his apartment.

Javier’s apartment was very similar to yours only bigger. Everything was practically in the same place bar the surprising amount of crap dotted around. You always assumed Javi just didn’t care enough about his living space to keep anything more than he needed. Ten years in Colombia had meant he had collected a lot of random things, there was no real organisation to it at all- bottles on a bar cart with glasses haphazardly stacked higher than was safe, books squashed onto a shelf all covered in dust. There was a small photo of some smiling people, his family you assumed, hung on the wall.

He bought out two beers, passed one to you and offered a seat couch to you. You sat down on the edge; Javier relaxed into the other side. With your mind still spinning, you didn’t want to drink. You awkwardly picked at the paper label, losing yourself in images of brutality playing in your head..

Javi didn’t really know what to do now. He wasn’t one for talking things out; he had hoped you would want to. He knew how he wanted to work it out, how he usually got through moments like this but he couldn’t think about that now. Javi felt it was his duty to help you, but he didn’t know how just yet. He watched you lost in your thoughts, gears visibly turning in your head. Finally, you gave in, collapsing backwards on the leather couch and sighing heavily.

��I’m sorry Javi, you must be tired of me arguing with you all the time. I didn’t want to see that, you were right not to let me,” You said, finally turning your head to look at him. In the low light of his apartment tear streaks glowed on your skin. “I don’t know what I expected,” you laughed humorlessly. Javi shrugged and sipped the beer in his hand.

“It gets easier,”

“That’s horrible,” you replied sadly.

Javi hadn’t thought much on the subject- it was best not to. He’d become entirely desensitised working down here and hadn’t noticed at all. It seemed like normal. Surely everyone knew what bones sounded like smashed under hammers, everyone knew the gurgle and hum of the last breath as someone choked on their own blood. But they didn’t.

“I guess so,” He shrugged.

“I’ve never seen someone die before,” You said after a moment of silence. “I’ve shot people but they didn’t die. Or I didn’t see it if they did. It’s a lot less dramatic than I thought. It’s just... over,”

“First time I saw it was back in Texas,” Javi said, “Couldn’t have been much older than you, watched him bleed out on the side of the road,”

“What happened?” You asked.

“Kid was caught with some weed, ran into the highway and got hit by a semi before we could catch up,” You saw his eyes glaze over for a moment as he remembered before he shook his head and looked up again.

“That’s rough,”

“Like I said, you get used to it,”

You sat quietly drinking together for a few moments, neither you or Javi knew what to say.

The mixture of anguish and alcohol was not good. You could feel yourself heating up just looking at him. The thought of touching him, losing yourself in him, taking your mind off the tragedy of the day, was intoxicating. If you stayed any longer you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself going for it. You could go upstairs, cry into your pillow and hope your hand would do a good job releasing the pent up energy in you. Javi set his beer down on the floor and turned to you again, eyes wandering obviously over you as you sat opposite. You could feel your self control slipping.

You stood up quickly, Javi watched you curiously. A sudden wave of need overcame him at the thought of having to spend the rest of the night alone. It shocked him. Urgently, he grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks before you could announce your departure. You looked down at him, his eyes were wide and shining in the light as if he was trying not to cry. Locking eyes with him you knew what was about to happen, there was no escaping it anymore. In an instant he pulled you sharply down onto the couch and into his lap.

The kiss was desperate and messy. Javi moaned into your mouth, relief flooding his body as you kissed him back. A voice in his head told him to stop, but he couldn’t. Grief, remorse, and lust had taken over entirely. He needed a release, wanted to show just how sorry he was for what he had done. He shouldn’t be kissing you, shouldn’t be pushing your hips onto his, but he wanted to escape.

You needed it just as badly as him. You clung to Javi, grounding yourself in his touch. If he held you, he couldn’t hurt you, couldn’t scare you again. Your hands came to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal warm skin underneath. He helped you, throwing the item away before he pulled your shirt over your head and joined his shirt on the floor.

You explored the new territory enthusiastically, feeling his strength beneath your hands as you kissed him. You pulled on his hair at the nape of his neck as his tongue explored you mouth making him moan again. He was much more vocal than you expected, each time it made your pussy flutter in anticipation.

Javi kissed you quickly, moving down your jaw to your neck and mouthing over the exposed skin above your bra. He didn’t move to take it off, just enjoying your taste. You bucked your hips sharply into his growing bulge, making him hiss and bite you. You whined, wanting him to do something and stop teasing you.

“Have you got-?” You asked quickly. There was no need to pretend like you didn’t know what you both wanted now.

“In the drawer,” He pointed at the side table next to the other couch. Part of you wanted to make a joke about his apartment being covered in condoms but now wasn’t the time.

You stood up out of his lap and over to the drawer, pulling out a package and throwing it at Javi. He’d taken off his pants in the time you were away. He watched you with hungry eyes, stroking his cock idly watching you. Overcome by need, you shoved your pants off leaving them on the floor before scrambled into his lap again.

He kissed you quickly, chased kisses down your jaw and neck. Your mind wandered, remembering for a moment the blood and screams, the fear Javi had put in you watching him torture that man. The same hands you had watched drip with another man's blood were now groping your ass. You screwed your eyes shut, pushing out the thoughts and slowly sank onto his hard cock.

Javi sighed, biting his lip to stop himself saying something stupid. You felt amazing around him, warm and wet. All doubt he had before left him entirely, he was consumed by you. He nearly lost his mind entirely at the pathetic noise you made when he shifted you up slightly. All his focus went on you.

“Lo siento, hermosa,” Javi mumbled as he kissed your neck. You only nodded, whimpering as you circled your hips around. Javi’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, cursing your name. You were far too good at that. “Again,” He panted, you complied and drew another moan from his lips.

Neither you nor Javi would last long, but that wasn’t what this was about. It was taken what you needed from each other, affirmation of life and trust. His head rested in your chest, lips kissing your sweaty skin as you ground onto his cock. His hands held you close, heavy on your back as you moved above him. You moved faster now, long strokes of your hips up and down over his cock. Gasping breaths and the slap of skin on skin filled the room as you and Javi lost yourselves in each other.

Your legs began to shake as you neared your high, you gasped his name. Javi shifted under you, getting leverage, and started cantering up into you, his hands holding you still. You moaned loudly as he hit a new spot that had you reeling. Javi settled back against the couch, fucking you harder and watching with delight as you fell apart.

Your orgasm rolled over you like a tsunami wave. So good you swore your soul left your body. You cried out, pussy fluttering around Javi’s cock pulling him along with you. Javi stopped moving, pulled you close and kissed you hard, moaning into your mouth as he spilled into the condom. You bucked against him, dragging out the lasts of your high.

Finally, you stilled, coming back down to earth again. Resting your forehead on his, you giggled as endorphins took over. Javi smiled, kissed your forehead before you tilted your head to catch his lips again. The kiss was sweet, urgency gone now. He kissed you languidly, fingers brushing over your cheeks. He was calm again, all anger and frustration fizzed out in your shared orgasm.

He lifted you off his cock, you whimpered at the loss. You lay limbless on the couch, watched him pull on his pants before he disappeared into the bathroom.

You didn’t feel anything, no worry no anger. You were on clouds. You couldn’t find it in you to worry about any of the inevitable consequences of what just happened.

You redressed while Javi was gone, feeling a little exposed entirely naked except your bra on his couch. You laughed to yourself when you saw where your shirt had ended up, draped over a lampshade. You pulled it on, and were halfway through buttoning it up when the bathroom door opened again.

“You good?” Javi reappeared, a satisfied smile on his face. You nodded.

“Good,” You replied with a smile. “You?” He nodded and settled back on his couch, lighting a cigarette, and taking a drag.

There was a silent understanding that nothing that had occurred today would ever be spoken about again. It was done. Apart from the bruises Javi had left on your neck, there was nothing left of any of it. You had both needed the stress relief, your trust was back and you could move forward with a clean slate.

---

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

Familiar Face ~ Kim Namjoon

“Why did you never tell me who you were?” You snapped across at him as he pulled you to one side of the corridor. “Has all this time really been a lie?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m so sorry,” a voice yelled, a pair of hands grabbing at your arms to pull you up as you stumbled into the shelf of books. “Are you alright?”

You quickly pulled yourself together, straightening your dress out, looking up at the owner of the arms who had saved you from a fall. “I’m alright, are you? I really should pay more attention to where I’m going.”

He chuckled gently, passing you the book that you’d spilt as you toppled, pushing you carefully to one side as a few people tried to pass you both. Your cheeks were red as you smiled apologetically at the passers by before looking back up at your saviour.

Their eyes rolled as you silently apologised for causing a bit of scene, scoffing at the two of you as his hand continued to hold onto you as he made sure you were steady. “I’m Namjoon,” he finally spoke, introducing himself.

“Y/N.”

His brows knitted together as he heard your name, tilting his head as he tried to figure you out. “That’s not a Korean name?”

Your head nodded, although that was a pretty obvious statement about yourself. In just a short time in Seoul, you’d noticed a lot of attention from the locals as they noticed you walking around in different places.

“I’m foreign, but I’m here on a bit of gap year,” you informed him, quickly finding yourself feeling quite comfortable around him, “essentially, I’m a student who has no direction or plan of what they want to do with their life.”

A light giggle came from him as he finally dropped his arm back to his side, “I know plenty of students who have no idea what to do. Seoul’s a pretty cool place to come though to travel, how are you finding it?”

“Well,” you began, brushing a nervous hand through your hair, “it’s fair to say I have not mastered Korean at all, to be honest most of my days are a bit of a mess. I’m getting by, but it’s a struggle.”

Before you knew it, Namjoon had invited you for coffee in the café of the bookstore to try and get to know each other better. He’d convinced you he had plenty of tips on surviving life in Korea which seemed far too good to turn down, and after nearly crashing into him earlier, buying him a coffee was the least you could do. On a spare piece of paper, he wrote down several phrases that would help you in day-to-day life, answering the questions that you had about the culture and the way of life.

“What about you?” You suddenly asked once he’d finished lecturing on you on what you’d need to know. “Seeing as you know so much about me, can I get to find out about you? There must be something interesting about you with such a proficiency of English.”

His shoulders calmly shrugged, but on the inside his heart pounded. He looked around the room, spotting a group of students rushing in to grab a drink during their lunch break, pushing past each other to reach the front of the queue.

“I teach English,” he informed you, gulping as your eyes lit up. “I guess you need to have pretty good proficiency to be able to teach the language. It’s probably where my love of a good book comes from too.”

You nodded, listening intently as he began to tell you all about his day as a teacher and the students that he taught. You were very intrigued as you learnt more and more about him, as soon as you looked at him you definitely had an impression that he could be a teacher, he dressed himself well, and had a very approachable look about him.

The two of you sat and talked for a little while longer before being interrupted by the vibrations of his phone. He quickly placed his hand over it before you had the chance to look down at him, hanging up on the call and sliding his phone into the pocket of his jacket.

“Do you not need to get that?” You quizzed.

His head shook, finishing off the mug of coffee in front of him. “It’s a friend, he’s been having a bit of a crisis recently, rings me constantly. We have five other friends but for some reason he just seems a bit dependent on me.”

“I imagine as a teacher you tend to do a good job leading and guiding people,” you spoke, watching as his eyes darted to look across at you.

As soon as he realised how he’d reacted, he relaxed back in his seat, grabbing his jacket that was wrapped around the chair and slipping it on. You took that as a sign that he was heading off, finishing your drink too, picking up your pile of books.

“I should probably go and check on him, but maybe I could give you my number and we could meet up again some time,” he suggested, holding his hand out to take your phone so he could put his number into it.

You took your phone from your pocket and passed it across to him, offering your hand out for his once he’d put his number into your phone. A heavy breath came from him as he scrambled his brain quickly, knowing his phone and all the contacts he had would give his game away.

“I’ll text you from my phone, save my number that way.”

“Alright,” you chimed, unassuming of the wave of panic that rushed over him, as you led the way down to the tills so you could buy your books and head out of the store.

“Start talking,” you snapped, without a care for how loud your voice had gotten. “I can’t believe that you’d do something like this to me,” you stuttered, quickly wiping underneath your eyes as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Your body pressed against the wall, sinking to the floor as Namjoon lowered himself to your height, trying to take a hold of your hands, which you quickly pulled away.

For months, the two of you had spoken since you met at the bookstore, most days you texted and called each other, telling each other about your days. For months you’d sat and listened to him tell you about his days in the classroom and the troubles he was having with coming up with work when all along he was a global superstar travelling the world.

When your friend offered you the spare ticket, she had for a band performing that night, you jumped at the chance to head to a concert and enjoy some live music. You were clueless to who the band she loved was, deciding not to do any research beforehand and enjoy them at face value at the concert. You knew they must have been something special having sold out the biggest arena in your city, as soon as you got within a couple of miles of the stadium, every street was full of fans piling towards the arena.

Even when you’d told him that night that you were heading to a concert, he remained quiet. Instead, he chose to tell you all about a school trip him and his students had been on to a local museum to look at the history of the Korean War. Whilst you told him how excited you were to try out a new band, you were clueless to the fact that he was actually just a matter of minutes away from you, and worst of all, a member of that band.

He thought he could get away with it, the arena was huge, and the chances of you being able to recognise his face from far away were slim. Having already asked the cameramen to not focus on him for the night, lying through his teeth that his face was bloated and breaking out, he thought he’d be able to win. Little was he to know that your friend had purchased tickets in the fourth row, a spot where every single face on the stage was clear as day.

As soon as his eyes landed on you, his stomach dropped. The lyrics he was supposed to sing were abandoned, his hand came down, his whole heart turned numb to your eyes staring back at him. You were conscious of your friend beside you, simply shaking your head whilst trying to stop your tears from falling.

Namjoon persevered with the concert as best as he could, aware of your quizzical eyes watching his every move as you tried to figure out what was going on. You hoped and prayed there was a mix up somewhere, maybe he had a doppelganger or a twin that coincidentally shared the same name, every possible idea that tried to make sense of the situation came to mind.

Once the concert ended, you saw a text from him on your phone asking you to head into one of the wings. You told your friend to go, making up an excuse that you had spotted another friend in the crowd that you were going to meet up, but instead you were heading backstage to confront the man that had stolen your heart, and lied his way to it.

“I was scared to tell you the truth,” he whispered, allowing you to move your hands away from him, “I know this probably makes no sense right now, but you have to understand Y/N.”

You scoffed as he tried to reason with you, struggling still to process exactly what was going on. “Why would you be scared to tell me who you were? How did you even manage to keep up this lie for so many months?”

“I don’t know.”

“When,” you stated, taking him by surprise. “When did you plan on telling me the truth, when you proposed, when we got married? You told me that you were falling in love with me Namjoon, I told you I was falling in love with you too.”

“None of this changes the way I feel about you,” he sighed, brushing his hand against the top of your head, “you’re right, I am falling in love with you.”

“But you’re falling in love with the person I said I was,” you challenged, looking across at him for the first time. “In reality, I don’t know the first thing about you right now. The man I fell in love with was a lie.”

His head quickly shook, the person he’d shown you really was him. The kind, caring, considerate guy was never a lie, he was still Namjoon, just a little bit more of a fabricated version that he hoped you’d fall in love with. The second he didn’t tell you who he was at the bookstore he regretted, there had been several times where he wanted to give up the lie and tell you who he was, but he just couldn’t.

He was in too deep.

He hated lying to you, especially when he really caught feelings for you, the more the lie tangled, the harder it was going to be to eventually untie it again. He thought he had time to piece together a way out of it, to try and soften the shock and not frighten you away.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered, moving his hand down the side of your face so that it rested against your shoulder.

You were too exhausted and emotional to fight him away, moving your hands to cover your face yet again when you felt more tears spill. “Why did you do it Namjoon?”

“Because too many people have judged me for being Namjoon the singer rather than Namjoon the man. The moment I introduced myself to you, I knew I found myself liking you, it was a moment of panic. Do you remember the students that walked in?” He asked, as your head slowly nodded. “I took one look at them and then the next thing I knew, you were under the impression I was an English teacher. It felt nice that you valued me as a person, not for my name or my career, or even my money. I liked the feeling of being appreciated for being me, it meant the world to me that you fell in love with my personality rather than the materialistic things I own.”

“Now it makes sense,” you whispered with a shaky breath, “you never wanted to show me around your house, but that’s because there’s no teacher in the world that would be able to afford your house. Or every time when I told you to send me some work to see if I could help, you didn’t, because what you actually were working on was song lyrics.”

Several people passed you both by as Namjoon tried to calm you down, shielding your body as best as he could with yours. Each time he touched you, your body tensed up, refusing to let him in fully as you slowly began to learn about who he really was.

“Sorry will never be enough to make this right,” Namjoon whispered, squeezing your shoulder gently, “I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now or how this looks to you. If you want to cut everything off tonight, I’d understand. But you have to believe me Y/N when I tell you the Namjoon you fell in love with, really is me. Nothing about who I am as a person in your eyes is different in real life.”

Your head slowly shook, with your head and your heart telling you two different things, you didn’t know where to look or where to go. It was safe to say you’d fallen for Namjoon, you’d spent months with him, even from afar, he’d supported you in getting yourself sorted at the end of your travelling, he’d encouraged you as you searched for a job, even helping you write your application to get into somewhere.

“Where do we go from here?” He questioned, feeling a hot tear roll down his cheek. “I don’t want to lose you Y/N.”

You moved your hands away from your face, shuffling along the wall to make room for him to sit beside you. You didn’t even need to invite him before he filled the space, resting a cautious hand against your leg as finally your tears began to settle. You couldn’t bring yourself to hold onto him or lean into him, instead you sat motionlessly, staring against the wall of the corridor.

“Is there anything else you need to admit to, other than the fact you’re not a teacher?”

“No, that’s everything.”

“I don’t want to be lied to anymore Namjoon, if there’s something more to you, either you tell me now, or I’m gone,” you warned him.

He nodded, puffing his cheeks out, “that’s it, I promise. And I mean that promise this time, I’m not saying it just to protect you.”

You sat and listened as he vowed to be honest with you, about every single detail about his life. You were overwhelmed by the situation you found yourself in, never had you imagined seeing yourself falling in love with a global superstar, a man adored by millions of fans around the world.

“Why don’t you tell me about what you really do? Seeing as I’ve never actually heard of your group before,” you suggested. You slowly turned your body inwards so that you were facing him, choosing to keep your eyes away from his, staring down at the marbled floor as he spoke.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” he giggled, “for years now we’ve been as a group, obviously we started off in Korea, and then our music travelled, the group grew, and now we’re selling out arenas around the world. That’s the simplest way to put it.”

“And why did you actually learn English?”

“Because my family and I thought it would be a good skill to have in the future,” he informed you, “you’ll probably think it’s stupid, but I learnt it by watching Friends?”

“Really?” You exclaimed.

He nodded back at you, “I used to sit and listen to everything they said, and then eventually I could recite a few lines. It’s been useful for my job too, I can communicate with so many of our international fans, it’s probably helped us grow as we’re not just seen as another Korean music group, we’re seen as a band who can also hold an English conversation too.”

Your eyes began to search for his as he continued to give you a bit of background on him and his group. You could see the passion in his eyes and the love he had for what he did. But you could also see how difficult and terrifying his world was too, appreciating why he made the decision to keep you safe from it all. The more he spoke and opened up to you, the more you could see how hurt he was to have lied to you. It didn’t matter what he said, Namjoon was aware that nothing could justify the situation that he’d put you in, it was a place he never wanted you to be.

“If you’d have told me all of this from the start, it wouldn’t have changed things,” you pointed out to him when he finally finished talking. “I don’t judge someone on what they do or how many noughts are in their bank account.”

“I’ve heard that before,” he sighed.

“But you wouldn’t have heard it from me,” you quickly reiterated. “I’m not going to lie to you Namjoon, I’m better than that.”

It was a low blow, but one he knew he fully deserved. He’d treated you terribly, betrayed the trust that you’d put in him, and yet somehow, you were still sat and willing to listen to him talk. He began to wonder if maybe there really was a way of salvaging the mess he’d made, if perhaps you were willing to take on the real Namjoon he’d tried so hard to save you from.

“What do you want to happen to us?” He asked as his own thoughts began to run away from him. “Do you want me to go?”

Your head shook, dabbing gently underneath your cheeks. “Right now, I don’t know what I want really, but when I’ve spent six months falling for you, I can’t just see you walk away. I trust that your feelings for me were real, and I trust that now you’re starting to be honest with me.”

“I made a mistake, an enormous mistake that you’ll probably never forgive me for, but that won’t ever change the way I feel about you. I don’t want to live a lie to you anymore, and whilst I’m scared to really introduce you to my life, I promise that I’ll still love and protect you always.”

“You think I’m going to stay with you?”

“Well…I’d hoped.”

You sighed gently, “you broke me tonight Namjoon when I saw you stood on the stage. You knew I was going to be here, and I can guarantee you tried to find every way possible to make sure I didn’t find out. What hurts the most is when I needed you over the past few days, you were just down the road, within walking distance to be able to comfort and support me.”

“I couldn’t risk it, I didn’t want to break your heart by doing this, but instead that’s exactly what I’ve done.”

“I need time,” you sighed, smiling softly across at him, “I don’t want to give up on us, and I want to be able to trust in you, but that can’t happen overnight. I’ve gone from thinking I’m dating an English teacher in a Korean cram school to finding out I’m dating a Billboard winner with millions of screaming fans who chant his name night after night.”

His hand slowly reached out, intertwining his fingers in with yours. He brought your hand up to press a kiss against the back of it, wiping away the droplets of tears that had landed from your cheeks throughout the night. Your hand slowly squeezed against his as you rested your head down onto his shoulders, snuffling gently as you fought back the tears once again.

“I’ll never hurt you again,” he whispered down to you, “I promise I won’t be the guy you think I might be.”

“You’ve got one chance Namjoon, I want to learn to love the real you, no secrets, no lies, just honesty. That’s all I ever want from you.”

“There’s no more secrets, and definitely no more lies. You’ve stolen my heart and I can’t let that go, not now, not ever. I just hope you know what a crazy ride you’re in for dating me, the real me.”

“If it means being with you, I’ll ride the craziness. Just don’t break my heart, ever again, please.”

“Never again, I promise I’ll make you happy, forever.”

---

Masterlist

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