#personally zombies and other undeads sound like an interesting idea | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suckitsurveys · 6 days

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Which fictional character can you not stand? Ross Geller from Friends and Andy Bernard from The Office.

What was the one subject in school that frustrated you because you just couldn’t process it? Chemistry.

What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten? I don’t recall.

What is an occupation that you would like to do just for one day if you had the chance? Probably like a taste tester or something lol.

What do you think people have an unnecessary stick up their ass about? Ugh don’t get me started.

What common advice do you think never works? "Time heals all wounds.”

What’s the best movie without a happy ending? I’m not sure.

What is something you think is actually better about today’s generation? I feel like they’re a lot more outspoken in some ways.They fight for causes and stick up for themselves and it feels like they’re overall more accepting of people’s differences and advocate for them.

What movie has a worse love story than Twilight? Romeo and Juliet.

What seems obvious to you that doesn’t seem to be for other people? God this is a loaded question.

If your partner in the zombie apocalypse was the main character of the last movie you watched, would you survive? Well, seeing as Beetlejuice has experience with the dead and undead, I feel like I’d be pretty safe.

What’s the worst episode of your favorite TV show? I've never watched an episode of BoJack Horseman I haven’t loved.

You can pick two artists to do a song together, dead or alive, but they have to be from different genres. Who do you pick and why? Lana Del Rey and Dolly Parton might sound good together.

What is something you would never buy again, even if you were rich? I’m not sure.

What do you do regularly despite it being considered very unhealthy or unsafe? Overeat.

What is something that most people find attractive in a person that you find unattractive? A ton of muscles.

Do you ever use facial masks or scrubs? Yeah.

What do you think of the recent trend of adult coloring books? I don’t mind them, I’ve done it a few times.

Which fictional character do you think you’d be great friends with? Princess Carolyn from BoJack Horseman.

What would you do if you found out your toys came to life similar to Toy Story? I have no idea. I’d probably think it was kinda cool.

Do you own any cook books? Yes. My favorite one is the Bob’s Burgers cook book.

Is there anything that you’d like to eat right now? Sushi, always.

What book are you currently reading? I’m not.

What is something that you believe in, but aren’t very outspoken about? A lot of things.

do you think weird it’s for someone to have never tried soda? WHY ARE SO MANY SURVEYS BEING COMBINED WITH OTHER SURVEYS i wanna jump off a cliff. I’m just gunna cross off the rest of these in case whoever is reading this wants to do the rest but I just did this not that long ago.

is there any foreign film you recommend? Naw.

do you have the same religious beliefs as your parents? There are definitely some overlaps. My dad is Jewish and my mom is what I would call casually spiritual. If you made a Venn Diagram of their truest beliefs, then I would probably fall somewhere in the middle. Then there are my own interpretations and understandings which expand into territory beyond either one of them. Overall, though, I think I have more in common with my dad because he’s a deep diver within his own religion, and religion and spirituality are topics that interest me. We can have some really great discussions on the matter.

which floor of your house/building are you on now? I’m on the second floor.

are there any maps hanging in your room? No.

are you often a third wheel? or is someone a third wheel to you? I felt like that for the longest time at the animal shelter. I knew people generally liked and appreciated me, but I wasn’t really fitting in. However, I don’t feel that way as much now, not with the new batch of workers back in cattery. I’m still kind of third-wheely (because I’m shy/socially awkward and also a good deal older than they are), but not to the same drastic extent. I feel much more included, relevant, and free to be my silly and sarcastic self. I had it in my head that the problem might be me (and admittedly, some of it probably was and I do still have some work to do), but now it’s like…oh. I was likeable the whole time?!?!

what’s the last dvd you bought? I’m not sure.

tell me about your favorite pair of jeans. I don’t have a favorite pair of jeans. I basically don’t even wear them anymore.

would you ride a motorcycle if given the chance? (or have you?) I’ve been on the back of one a few times, but I don’t think I would like to ride one myself. Driving a car is enough responsibility for me.

is your hair healthy? Ehhh.

if a hotel offered free breakfast in bed, what would you order? I’d go all out. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, biscuits, maybe some fruit, coffee…

how often do you take a train? Aside from the kiddie train at the city park, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a train. I might have gone on the one at the Royal Gorge, but I can’t be certain that’s a real memory and not some false recollection I settled on after the fact.

what’s your favorite led zeppelin song? Kashmir.

does your home have a balcony/deck/porch? We have a back deck and a front porch.

what does your closet/wardrobe say about you? That I spend a lot of time at an animal shelter. Probably half of my shit is animal shelter shit.

do you enjoy theatre? I don’t not enjoy it. It’s just not really my thing. I wouldn’t want to be in a play, but I would probably go see one with someone if they wanted me to.

how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? Scared, unprepared, inexperienced, lonely, bored…like I had so much to share and no one to share it with. I’d much rather travel with someone.

who would you call a lyrical genius? Idk.

how do you treat yourself? It’s time to make dinner, so I’m going to pause this here (9.10.24) and resume it sometime tomorrow… Okay. I just arrived home from a trip to the Mountain Park - which is one of the ways I plan on treating myself this autumn. I feel like I’ve spread myself too thin with volunteering, so I’m going to take a step back, take an extra day off here and there, and spend more time in the mountains with my dad. Other ways I treat myself include eating fun/favorite foods (so excited for holiday treats!), making time for art, and curling up in bed with my kitties and some YouTube.

do you have an interesting passport? I don’t have a passport.

are you going to pursue a career according to what you enjoy? Yeah.

what’s your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. You know what else I’ve been enjoying lately? Otter Pops. They’re not typically something I would think to eat, but they’re great for hot afternoons at the shelter when I need a quick chill out/sugar rush combo.

who supports you financially? Social security and my dad. We share our incomes.

if you wanted to go to the movie cinema, how would you get there? I would drive (or be driven).

how many pillows are on your bed? Two regular pillows, three body pillows, and two decorative pillows.

would you pay more for organic food? I might if I preferred the taste of a certain brand, but otherwise it’s not something I pay much attention to.

do you prefer being awake after everyone goes to bed or before they get up? I don’t really have a preference.

do you know much about feng shui? (do you use it?) I know very little, and no, I don’t use it.

how would you make friends in a quiet class? Make meaningful eye contact? Lmao heck if I know. I’m quiet myself, so if other people are quiet, then it’s just gonna be quiet.

are you generally a quick learner? Yeah.

what’s your favorite spot to read? At my computer desk.

did you know that buddha is not considered a god to buddhists? I was aware of that.

do you save tickets from movies, etc.? Not really.

without looking him up, who was jim morrison? The vocalist for The Doors.

when’s the last time your bedroom was painted/wallpapered? Gosh, idk. As far as painting goes, that would have been years and years ago. It wasn’t even finished. As for the wallpaper, that was put up before we moved in.

teach me something in another language. Naw.

what type of music do you like and why? I’ve developed a fondness for classical over the past couple of years.

if you randomly want to eat something in the house, do you eat it or wait? It depends on what it is, what I’ve already eaten, how close it is to meal/snack time, etc.

who knows the most about you (besides yourself)? My dad.

do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking) Picking at my nails.

how’s your favorite pro sports team doing lately? I don’t follow any sports teams.

would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? No.

#surverys

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the-unrelated-theorist · 2 years

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Oh. my gosh. This post about "de-termination" is giving me so. many. thoughts. Normally, I'd stick this in my queue and let it post in a few months, but I wanted to get my two cents in before any other theorists show up.

The idea of de-termination is so clever, and it confirms so many theories, while also bringing up some questions. One of the first things I want to point out is, I feel, one of the most obvious: de-termination would be a synonym for "undying". This, then, pretty well confirms what we all knew all along: that Undyne makes her own De-Termination.

And knowing this one fact also provides further proof that Mystery Man is a melted Gaster. Because Gaster would be the most De-Terminated character in all of Unrelated: he's shattered across time and space, he's everywhere and everywhen. He can't die!

Then there's the theory that sans bleeds because of De-Termination. Well, we don't ever see him die, do we? We hear the sound of a monster turning to dust, but our kill count doesn't go up.

But then, if sans has the ability to De-Terminate, why not Papyrus? Are you telling me that the strongest monster in the Underground didn't have the ability to create a SAVE point, or that he didn't have the power of Undying, yet his lazybones brother did? OR... was it just that because Papyrus is the first boss after we leave the Ruins, and sans is the very last monster we fight, that Papyrus just plain didn't know he even needed to create a SAVE point, but sans had enough time to figure out that he did need one?

(Oh, my, I hope the AU-creating sans-girls don't see that last paragraph.)

And what about Deltarune? Kris has to have a SOUL. And that SOUL just happens to be the red one with De-Termination. There's all those theories that Kris drowned and the Dark World is the afterlife. I don't know what all that means, but it feels connected somehow. Besides, we know Kris can De-Terminate, simply because Kris does see SAVE points, and can reset and reload.

Or... can they? After all, Kris isn't the one with the ability to delete or copy files- we are. The SOUL does all that. Kris doesn't have the power of De-Termination, the SOUL does. So, if the SOUL can De-Terminate, then what would happen if... if a person who had, say, drowned, was used as the vessel for a SOUL with the power to De-Terminate?

Yeah, ok, I'm not sure where I'm going with that last statement, but I know there's something there. Because Kris without the SOUL walks like a zombie from one of those really bad mobile games.

Hmm. Interesting. The SOUL provides the power of Undying, and Kris without the SOUL walks like the undead.

Toby??? Was that intentional, or am I just seeing things? And if it's intentional, just what the heck does it even mean???

And then there's everything that Queen said about Determination. She said all Lightners have that power. She said that if someone is Determined enough, they can create a Dark Fountain. But why is the power of Undying the key to opening a Dark Fountain??? If all Lightners have this power, then are all Lightners able to create SAVE points and prevent themselves from dying? Could this be what Queen meant when she said Noelle was strong- that Noelle has the power of Undying?

If that is the case, I could almost see how the two different routes (Normal vs. Snowgrave) could resolve themselves into one ending- in a Normal/Pacifist Route, Noelle would work with the SOUL, while in a Snowgrave Route, Noelle (and maybe Kris?) would rebel against the SOUL, to prevent the Roaring. (Don't take me seriously, it's just a theory.)

And these are just the thoughts and questions I've come up with so far. Give me time. I'll think of more.

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kinktae · 5 years

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flesh and blood || 2 (M)

You are living in a society that is just now picking up the scraps that the Great Outbreak left behind after the government killed off the majority of the zombies. Still, some remain, and fear still lies within society’s walls. So imagine your surprise when the very thing you’ve been taught to fear ends up saving your life, showing you that maybe two beating hearts aren't always required when it comes to love.

pairing: zombie!jungkook x reader

word count: 5.9k

genre: post-apocalyptic, sci-fi, smut

warnings: lots of TV watching, mentions of conspiracy, joon doing some illegal shit, mentions of murder, & smooching

A/N: inspired by warm bodies and the fact that I'm a legitimate crackhead.

01 | 02 | 03

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PART TWO

Zombies were nothing like hamsters, you had come to find out over the past few days.

It seemed like an odd comparison, but it was the only other pet experience you could call upon. Your hamster, affectionately named Anarchy, was an impulse decision on your part, a running theme in your life it would come to seem. Nevertheless, you and Joon took it upon yourself to ensure she lived up her whopping two years of life, setting her up the biggest tank you could find and spoiling her with chew toys and salt licks. Anarchy was the perfect pet; she didn’t whine or grunt, didn’t eat all the chocolate in your fridge and she certainly didn’t follow you into the bathroom every time you needed to pee.

Your zombie friend, however, could not have the same said about him.

Namjoon and you spent many a night perched on the couch discussing very important zombie matters – Are steak saturdays a bad idea with a zombie in the house? Does he have a name? Should we be charging him rent? – while the zombie in question sat directly in front of the TV, completely consumed by the black and white film Namjoon had put on for him.

“Why can’t I just put some of my foundation on him?” You tried to reason.

“They’ll know he’s wearing makeup. Your foundation is cakey as hell.”

“What about— wait, what?” You blinked, surprised.

Namjoon shifted uncomfortably, flashing you an apologetic look, “Oh, sorry. I thought you knew.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing over at your TV to find that the zombie boy had not moved an inch since the last time you looked.

“Hey, brains.” You called out, feeling playful. “How would you feel about getting a spray tan?”

“Y/N, this is serious. I really don’t think he should ever leave the house.” Namjoon sighed, pulling your attention back onto him.

“You want to imprison him? He’s a person! He has to leave the house or he’ll go stir crazy. I know I would…”

Your best friend shook his head, and although you still felt like you had a case to argue, you knew that the discussion was over.

“I know, but if we’re seen outside with a zombie… It’s just what’s best for everyone, Y/N. Better safe than sorry.” Namjoon shrugged.

Leaning back into the couch, you crossed your arms over your chest. Of course, he was right, but that didn't make it any less unfair. Even if the zombie man had yet to utter a complaint since arriving at your place, you couldn't help but feel responsible for his well being. He saved your life after all.

A noise coming from the sitting zombie caused you and Namjoon to jump; it was a sharp, high pitched sound, unlike you had ever heard come from him before.

Shockingly, you looked over at the zombie to find the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly as the scene playing out on the television reflected in his dark eyes.

"Did he just..." Namjoon gaped.

"Laugh?" You finished the shared thought, a warm feeling falling over you. "Yeah. Sounds like he just did."

Namjoon hummed, tapping a finger against his thigh contemplatively. Suddenly, he stood up, heading out of the room. Your eyebrows furrowed, unsure of what he was doing.

"Where are you going?" You inquired.

"To start a Project Z chart. My groundbreaking research begins today!" His voice informed you from somewhere in the apartment.

You grinned, chuckling slightly. Bringing your knees into your chest, you wrapped your arms around them. Project Z, huh? Alright. Count you in.

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A thump against your foot pulled your eyes from your computer screen. You were sat in the living room, legs tucked under the coffee table as your ass took comfort on a pillow you placed on the floor.

"Hi, there!" You cooed, poking your head under the table as you greeted your hamster Anarchy. She had been roaming around the room in her giant clear hamster ball, one of her favorite ways to keep you company while you did your work.

The grey colored rodent continued forward, wheel rubbing against the length of your legs as she ran. Snatching the ball before she could get any further, you brought her up to eye level, her little nose sniffing at you.

"That's enough ball time for today, don't you think?" You asked her rhetorically.

Suddenly, your phone began to sound, the familiar tune of Monster by Lady Gaga ringing out for the kitchen.

"Brains!" You called out towards your zombie roommate, who was sat in his usual place in front of the TV. He wasn't actually responsive to your nickname for him, but thankfully, the volume of your tone caught his attention enough to turn and face you.

You placed Anarchy back onto the floor.

"Watch Anarchy." You pointed at your pet before pointing at him. "Don't let her roll out of the room."

The undead boy showed no sign of understanding, his eyes merely locking onto the contained mammal. He hadn't shown much interest in your hamster up until now, the TV taking up all his attention of course.

Thank god he was already a zombie because the amount of time he spent in front of that damn screen would have surely rotted his brain by now.

Assuming that his attention would not shift away from the rodent now that he was intrigued by it, you made your way out towards the kitchen, where you had left your phone to charge. You cursed as you watched the way the screen of your phone changed, the phone call ending before you could reach the device.

Grabbing your phone, you swiped it open, only to see that it had been Namjoon to call you.

Your eyes fixed on your phone, you sent him a message as you walked back into the living room.

[12:56 PM]

To: Joonie – sorry I missed ur call... did u need something?

You let out a small yelp as your toe hit itself on something– you knew exactly what it was as the sound of plastic rolling across the room rang out.

Your stomach sank heavily as you located the ball, not because you had just sent your hamster whirling across the room, but because the ball... was empty.

Your eyes widened as they found the ball's lid, lying ominously on the floor.

"Anarchy? How did–" You breathed before you realized you had left the zombie alone with your beloved pet.

A chill ran over you as you eyed him; he was once again watching the TV, cross-legged as if nothing was wrong.

"Oh my god..." You gaped. "Did– Did you eat Anarchy?!"

He didn't react to your voice and before you reason with yourself, you gripped his shoulder angrily, forcing him to look at you.

To your surprise, you were met with not just wide zombie eyes, but with the sight of Anarchy cupped carefully between his palms, very much alive. You let out a breath of relief, sinking down to sit beside him.

So your zombie friend didn't have a taste for rodents. Good to know.

"Sorry." You apologized reflexively before a chime, followed by another, called your attention.

The zombie watched carefully as you began to fiddle with that strange device he sometimes saw you occupied with.

You read the texts carefully.

[12:57 PM]

From: Joonie – just stopped by the market and picked up some human brains for dinner… JK lol

[12:57 PM]

From: Joonie – was gonna ask if you wanted something but im otw home. c u soon!

You were just about to put the phone away when something stopped you in your tracks.

Tap.

A finger poked at your screen, and your eyebrows raised to find the zombie leaning in close, attention fixed on the set of texts sent in by your best friend.

You gawked at him for a moment, unsure if he was capable of reading and understanding the words in front of him.

After a few silent moments passed by; you cleared your throat, deciding to read the texts to him.

“Just stopped by the market and picked up some human brains for dinner… JK haha.” You narrated.

To your surprise, the zombie boy let out a grunt, poking at your screen again. Confused, you followed his finger to see what exactly he was pointing at.

Tap.

His finger hovered over the acronym Namjoon had sent. Was he asking what it meant? You could imagine zombies weren't well versed in text slang.

“The letters J and K stand for just kidding.”

It felt silly talking to him like this. You had no clue if he even understood written language – or verbal for that matter.

If the boy understood what you said, though, he didn’t show any sign of it. Once again, he tapped his finger against the message, accidentally causing the word to become highlighted.

“Yes, yes, I see it.” You said, growing slightly frustrated at the clear lack of mutual understanding between you.

Tap.

“Okay, enough of that…” You sighed.

Ten minutes passed by uneventfully; Brains was watching his favorite show again, having had handed your hamster back so you could put her back and continue your work.

The sound of the front door opening caught your attention, accompanied by the rustling sounds of the grocery bags Namjoon was carrying.

"Welcome home!" You greeted, not peeling your eyes from your screen.

"Can I get some help, please?" Namjoon's disembodied voice called out, stealing a sigh from you.

Begrudgingly, you closed your laptop, trudging over to the kitchen to help the scientist.

Offering him a nod in greeting, you began sifting through the bags he had heaved over onto the kitchen counter, on a hunt for any frozen foods that needed to be stored immediately.

"Did you buy–"

"Chocolate?" Namjoon finished for you, tucking away a tub of ice cream into your freezer. "Yeah, duh. You only reminded me eight times before I left."

You flashed him a sheepish smile, pulling a plastic container of strawberries from a grocery bag.

"Did you get any work done?" Your roommate wondered conversationally. You shrugged.

"I guess. This article Seokjin has me working on for the paper is dull as hell."

"And how is our zombie friend? Did you guys bond with me gone?"

“Obviously. I mean, we're practically best friends now." You teased, rolling up a now empty bag. Namjoon gasped suddenly, a hand over his heart in pretend offense.

"You're not trying to replace me are you?" He sniffed fakely.

"Well, he does get along with Anarchy. He took her out of her ball and held her and everything." You shrugged, a small smirk pulling at your mouth.

The fridge door shut sharply, Namjoon's eyes narrowing in distaste, "You're telling me that little rat likes an undead stranger better than me? I can’t even put a hand in her enclosure without her trying to gnaw off a phalange!"

"Stop calling her a rat, she's a hamster!" A laugh escaped you, ever amused by the way your pet despised him.

"Interesting that he didn't eat her though." Namjoon continued, the two of you were nearly done putting the purchased food away. "I'll make sure to note that in his chart."

"I was surprised, too." You nodded.

"Learn anything else interesting that I should write down?"

"Not really. Just that he really likes the acronym JK. I read your text out to him and he wouldn’t stop tapping at my phone when I showed him it.” You explained, slipping a hand into the back pocket of your jeans casually.

The groceries were all stored meaning your moral duty as a roommate to help put them away was officially completed.

“Really? Interesting..." Namjoon hummed.

"Is it?" You mused.

"This could mean he understands transcribed text."

You thought back to the way the zombie had shown little to no reaction to Namjoon's words before shaking your head in disagreement.

"I doubt it."

"You said you read it out to him right? Maybe it’s zombie slang for something. Or at least sounds like it.” He pressed.

You pondered that idea for a moment before responding, “You think zombies have their own language? I haven’t heard a sound out of him other than the occasional grunt or groan.”

“Why not? If animals are able to communicate within their own species, why not zombies? Nonverbal communication occurs in the animal kingdom all the time.” Namjoon explained, once again proving himself to be the smarter of you two.

Suddenly, without warning, he began to make his way over to the living room; you cocked your head in confusion before following him.

“What are you doing?” You questioned, worried he was going to harass the unsuspecting zombie again. Often you'd have to step in and remind Namjoon that the zombie wasn't a test rat that he could just poke and prod at whenever he wanted.

Said zombie was, of course, exactly where you had left him, sat upright on the couch looking stiff and unnatural as ever as he watched his TV with a blank expression.

“I’m gonna test out a theory.” Namjoon declared without warning, and to your disbelief, he let out a loud grumble.

“J...K…” He groaned out, voice clearly trying to imitate that of a zombie’s. Oh, god. Your best friend was an idiot. He really was.

Just as you were about to hit Namjoon on the shoulder for being such a dumbass, the seated zombie unexpectedly turned towards the two of you, clearly responding to the word.

He stared at you both with wide, unblinking eyes before letting out a huff of his own.

“Holy shit.” You breathed silently.

“Well. I think I just spoke zombie." Namjoon whispered. Neither of you dared to take your eyes off the walker as a small ounce of fear began to set in.

What exactly had Namjoon said to him? Was it possible to offend a zombie? Should you both start running now?

And as if you weren't taken back enough, you completely lost the ability to breathe altogether when a corner of the zombie boy’s mouth twitched upward, flashing you both a crooked, yet unmistakable smile.

“Is he... smiling?” You turned to face your best friend only to see that he was smiling back at the zombie.

“Remind me to put zombie whisperer on my résumé.” Namjoon grinned smugly.

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"No, this is mine. That one is yours." You huffed, grabbing back the stolen candy bar.

"Mine." JK repeated, reaching over for the very item you had just taken back from him. You let out a groan, throwing your hands up in defeat.

"I take it he's not grasping the concept of ownership?" Namjoon glanced up from whatever hospital file he was looking over.

"That little brat knows what I mean, he's just greedy and stubborn." You accused, glaring at the zombie who had already peeled open the wrapper of your chocolate.

In the past two weeks since you first brought home the stubborn zombie, there had been much development on his part. For starters, Namjoon and you had deducted that his name must be JK as it was the only word he responded to every time without fail.

Along with that discovery came the shocking utterance of words on his part.

Y/N. Joon. No. Mine. Sorry. Candy.

Each one was just as jarring as the one before, even if simple. Namjoon, although disappointed your name was JK's first words and not his, was thrilled. Language reacquisition was certainly something reports on zombies failed to notice.

"Hmm... wonder where he picked that up from..." Namjoon muttered sourly. At his words, you frowned.

"Excuse me, are you suggesting something mister?" You raised an eyebrow at him challenging.

Your best friend let out a laugh, "You say that as if you aren't the most hard-headed, unyielding human being to ever walk this earth."

"Bold words for someone who can't even go to sleep unless a nightlight is present." You scoffed.

"Hey!" Namjoon slammed the paperwork down onto the coffee table, causing you to roll your eyes. The zombie frowned, eyes flickering between the two humans. "That was a low blow! I could have brought up the fact that you're in your twenties and still can't drive but some of us have class, you know."

"Driving is scary!" You defended, turning your nose up at him. "Besides, why do I need to drive when I have a chauffeur?"

"You ass, I am not your chauffeur–"

"Joon." JK's gruff voice rang out suddenly, silencing the room. His eyes glared at the tall human openly.

Namjoon looked taken aback at the zombie's sudden call, his eyes flickering to you for reassurance, but you hadn't a clue what was happening either.

"...Yes?" He finally replied, voice hesitant.

The zombie immediately dropped the chocolate, hand coming up to point at you instead. You quirked a brow, noting the way he had yet to take his cold eyes off Namjoon.

"Sorry." JK demanded.

You let out a laugh.

"Wha– Are you kidding?" The scientist marveled. "Hell no, I'm not apologizing to her."

"Joon. Sorry." The zombie said once more, a clipped tone behind the word.

You were a giggling mess, hand coming up to cover your mouth as you watched your roommates interact with amusement.

"Why just me? Y/N should apologize too!" Namjoon whined.

JK held the man's stare for just a beat when swiftly, he grabbed the file that he had placed down onto the table.

"Woah– Hey, naughty zombie! Give that back."

"No." The zombified man responded dryly, only causing you to laugh harder.

JK glanced your way for a moment, taking note of how pleasant the sound before once again turning to Namjoon.

"Yeah, Joon! Say sorry." He could hear you tease beside him.

"Yeah." JK repeated after you, his head nodding in a way that was convincingly human-like.

"Son of a bitch. He's like the undead male version of you." Namjoon griped, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ultimately, he cried uncle.

"Fine. Y/N, I am so sorry, please forgive me." His eyes flew back to JK, extending his hand out pleadingly. "Now can I please have that file back?"

JK frowned, wanting to say something but lacking the necessary words to express himself, so instead, he turned towards Y/N.

You were already looking at him, elbow perched on the table as you rested your chin on your open palm. You were smiling in the way that always made him feel funny; your eyes shiny and amiable.

You gave him a nod, which was all the reassurance he needed before he finally handed the file back over to the man he had stolen it from. Namjoon snatched it back eagerly, pulling it into his chest in case either of his roommates tried to pull that same stunt again.

"Monsters. Both of you." He said in a flat tone. You chuckled, heeding his words no mind as you spotted the abandoned chocolate lying on the table that the zombie had set down.

JK watched with a frown as you took the candy bar from him, his noise of protest dying in his throat the moment he saw the way your lips wrapped around the sweet treat.

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“Y/N.”

“Hm?” You replied, still concentrating on the apple you were slicing up for the zombie. As willing as he was to keep eating candy all day, you didn't want Jungkook's insides to decay any more than they already had.

Jungkook.

The sudden discovery of the zombie's full name was an unexpected one. It happened last week on a night much like others. You had just finished drying up his sheets and pillow cover, the fabrics warm and heavy in your arms. You had noticed your zombie friend had been particularly pensive that day, not chatting much which certainly was unusual for him nowadays. So as you walked into the living room, you weren't surprised to find him sitting at the couch staring out at the metal bars that ran along the length of the window as he appeared lost in his thoughts.

"Here you go. Nice and warm." You had announced, dropping the sheets onto the zombie's lap. He was yanked from his thoughts by the sudden weight.

"Nighty-night, sleep tight, don't let the zombies bite." You chimed breezily. The childhood rhyme might not apply in this particular case but you found the humor in it enough to say it to him every night.

The zombie gave you a slow nod, causing your brows to furrow slightly. It really wasn't like him to be this quiet. Lately, it had almost seemed as if he couldn't shut up; he was a human parrot, regurgitating and repeating every word that caught his interest, even occasionally forming sentences.

Namjoon deduced that this must be something of a second term speech emergence– or as you understood it, just a fancy science term meaning JK was rapidly learning how to speak.

A soft click rang out as you flicked the light switch on the wall off. The moon was bright and full tonight, it's light seeping through the window as it painted a wash of blue on the zombie and the couch.

"Y/N."

His voice was small; if it weren't for the quiet of the night you doubt you would've caught the call at all.

"Yes? Is everything okay?"

There was an undeniable melancholy in the air. It seeped through his tone and engulfed the room.

"I remember."

The words stunned you and after a silent beat, you were walking over to him, sitting down on the coffee table across from him.

"What? What do you remember? Tell me." You urged softly.

You watched as he swallowed shakily, eyebrows furrowing as his jaw opened and closed, fighting for a response. He could see it all, flashing from one scene to another in the back of his mind. There was a family that loved him. A pretty girl that made his chest tighten like it did when he was near you. A car accident. A morgue. Screaming. A group of six boys taking him in. Men in black uniforms pinning them to the ground as he hid and watched.

It was suffocating.

"JK?" You called out worriedly, noticing the way emotion clouded his eyes and how his breathing was becoming ragged.

"Jungkook." A name came out raspily as if saying it out loud was painful.

"What?" You blinked.

"Jungkook." He mourned, tears falling from his eyes. "I remember."

Your heart sank as his face twisted up, and before you could stop yourself, you stood and pulled him into you, his face finding the crook of your neck as he began to weep. You let out a breath, your hand petting the back of his head in hopes to comfort him, his hair still damp from his shower earlier.

Needless to say, when Namjoon came back from his night shift to see the two of you curled up asleep on the couch together, he had many questions.

“Y/N, come here.” Jungkook's voice insisted, causing you to huff.

'No please, huh? Typical man.' You thought to yourself bitterly as you placed the knife in the sink, scooping up the plate of freshly cut apples as you made your way over to him.

"Here. Apples. Eat." You ordered, placing the plate down in front of him. Jungkook had graduated from sitting on the floor to the couch while watching TV, truly an astonishing character development on his part.

"What are they doing?" Jungkook ignored you, completely captivated by whatever he was watching.

Pressing your lips together, you watched the scene unfold on the screened box.

“They’re kissing.” You said, glancing back at the fascinated man that sat beside you, unsure of how to approach this subject.

"What?" Jungkook cocked his head, clearly not familiar with the term.

“What they’re doing? Yeah, it’s called a kiss.”

The romantic lead and his female counterpart were locking lips under an umbrella as rain poured around them, uplifting music humming in the background. Just the kind of grand romantic movie ending all pre-apocalypse movies seemed to have.

“Kiss.” Jungkook repeated, testing out the word.

“Yeah, you do it with someone you care about. Someone you’re close with.”

“Do Y/N and Namjoon... kiss?” He muttered.

Your eyes grew, quick to shake your head vehemently, “Huh? Oh no! God no. We’re just friends.”

“Friends?” The zombie pressed.

“Yeah. We’re close and care about each other but… definitely no kissing.” You shuttered. You had known Namjoon for too damn long to even entertain that idea.

“No kissing. Just friends.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook nodded, seemingly content with the information he was just given. "But why do they kiss?"

You shifted in your seat. Was this what parents felt like when it was time to give their kids 'the talk?'

“Well… It feels nice. And I guess it's a way of showing someone you love them.” You shrugged shyly.

“Love."

Jungkook seemed to be merely repeating you rather than pressing for an explanation as he turned his attention back to the movie.

“Confusing.” Jungkook concluded.

“Yeah, well, you’re not wrong.” You mused through a laugh, bringing his attention back on to you and the way he couldn't help but smile every time you heard you do so.

And there it was again. That strange, tight feeling in his chest that he had yet to find a word for... up until now.

"Y/N."

Turning towards him, your world froze the second his lips found yours. They were soft and warm much like the hands that cupped either side of your face.

Pulling away from the kiss, Jungkook opened his eyes, heat finding both your faces as you gawked at him with wide eyes.

"Sorry." He apologized suddenly.

"Y-You just..." Your words failed you, there was no possible way to wrap your head around what just happened.

You brought a hand to your lips, fingers running along your bottom one before covering your mouth altogether.

"Gosh. You have to ask before you kiss someone, brains." You turned away from him, tone of voice serious as if to scold him.

Jungkook nodded quietly, unsure of how to reply, especially when he could see the way you smiled behind your hand.

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You were trying to sleep, you really were. But unfortunately for you, when your, admittedly good looking, zombie roommate kisses you, it tends to consume your thoughts. You felt like you were overthinking everything despite the fact that you knew nothing.

Was it a misunderstanding on your part? Did you explain kissing in a way that confused him and he was just trying to express his gratitude towards you for taking care of him for all this time?

Or did he... love you?

God, you sounded ridiculous, you know you did. How could a zombie even understand an idea as complex as love? Why was this even affecting you so much? Why did it matter?

Your thoughts were bordering on dangerous territory right now, and in desperate need of a distraction, you rang up Namjoon.

"Joon!" You greeted the second he picked up.

"Uh, hey?" Your best friend replied warily. “Is everything okay?"

"What? Yeah! Of course, I mean, why wouldn't everything be okay?" You replied, heart racing as you swung your legs against the side of your bed.

"Well, for starters, you're calling me at three in the morning? Why aren't you sleeping?"

Namjoon often went to do work late at night at the hospital for his internship; usually, it meant you got to see little of him in the mornings as he was passed out cold but this time it actually worked to your advantage.

"Oh, I'm just... thinking, I guess. How are things at the hospital?" You diverted quickly.

"It's kind of a slow night," Namjoon revealed and you could almost picture the way he'd shrug, "but I'm guessing you didn't call me to ask me that. What's going on, weirdo?"

You let out a sigh. He was your best friend, after all. Of course, he'd see right through you.

"It's just... Jungkook. He's just so different from everything we thought we knew about zombies."

"I know, right? He's nearly completely fluent now, don't you think?"

"No, it's more than that." You furrowed your brows, laying back on your bed. "He's just– I mean he's got... emotions and preferences and memories. I think he might even... Ugh, nevermind I’m just overthinking.”

"Did... something happen that I should know about?" Namjoon mused. You bit down on your lip, unsure of how to answer.

"We know he's different from the others but–" You chose to ignore before he cut you off.

"But what?"

Staring at your ceiling, you sorted through your thoughts– thoughts that you had been toying with for a while now.

"What if there are more like him? And if so, where are they? Have they been killed? What role does the DEAD Team play in this?"

"Hm. I don't know... but let me see if I can find out." Namjoon said, causing you to sit up in surprise.

Of course! Research was Namjoon's whole thing. If anyone could find out more about this, it was him.

"Okay, yeah! Let me know if you find anything." You replied.

"And Y/N," Namjoon began suddenly, his tone shift slightly. "If you’re right... Wait. Nevermind, let's, uh, just not talk about this over the phone anymore, okay?"

"Oh... okay." You blinked in confusion at your best friend's nebulous words.

"Good night, weirdo."

"Night." You muttered back, hitting the end call button as you tried to suppress the uneasy feeling in your gut.

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The feeling of someone yanking the covers off your body jolted you awake. Squinting, you tried to orient yourself, the lights in your room blinding your tired eyes.

"What the fuck?" You grumbled, eyes focusing on the hovering body that soon revealed itself to be your boisterous best friend.

"Morning, sunshine!" Namjoon chimed.

"Ugh, what time is it?"

"Around six in the morning!" He answered before taking a seat on your bed, dropping a pile of what looked to be meaningless junk next to your body.

“Can I just say, finding anything outbreak-related that isn’t Anti-Zombie propaganda is fucking difficult… Luckily for you, I happen to be a genius with a lot of friends in the computer programming field.” Your best friend explained cockily.

“Oh shit." You rubbed at your eyes before taking in the pile. "Find anything good?”

“Oh, yeah. Turns out you’re not the only one who thinks there is more to the zombie story. I found an archive of a forum of people like us sharing stories and conspiracies about the Great Outbreak and the government’s involvement in it.”

“Really? How have I never stumbled upon that before?” You pondered.

“That’s just it. It was an archive, meaning the forum doesn’t exist anymore, it was shut down. The whole site was shut down actually, seemingly out of nowhere. Unfortunately for whoever took it down, once someone takes a step onto the internet, there are always footprints left behind. Nothing is ever really gone forever.”

You let his words sink in, still on sleepy brain mode.

“So... do you think the government took the site down?”

Namjoon flashed you a look as if to say well, obviously.

“A lot of the thread was purely he said she said stuff, but I did find some compelling pieces of evidence. Most notably… this.”

Namjoon reached into the pile and pulled out an old copy of a newspaper, placing it on top for you to read. Printed on the first page was a picture of a family you didn’t know, consisting of a mother, a father, and two daughters. On top of the picture in all bold was the title, “FAMILY KILLED BY ZOMBIE DAUGHTER.”

You vaguely remembered hearing about this story on the news when you were younger. But even then, you hardly gave sensationalized news much thought.

“Anyway, the youngest daughter, Shelby, died some time ago from some form of cancer. There are records of her parents taking her in to get that sketchy ass drug if you remember–”

“Immortuos, of course.” You nodded.

“Yeah. Obviously, she ended up dying and coming back to life. However, instead of letting the DEAD Team take her into custody, her family somehow managed to sneak her out of the mortuary her body was being stored in.”

Your eyes grew in size, “Are you serious? Wait, how do you know this?”

Namjoon rummaged through the pile, pulling out a piece of paper before holding it out to you. You stared down at it.

“Is this… a credit card statement?”

“Shelby’s father’s credit card statement.”

You shifted back away from the paper, sitting up in your bed. You were looking at a dead man’s credit card history. Weird.

“How the literal hell did you even get your hands on this?”

“I have my ways.” Namjoon smirked. You nodded, impressed at just how much your best friend had gotten away with.

“Anyway, look at this. Five days before the entire family’s reported death, the father bought four plane tickets.”

Four plane tickets?

“Well, that doesn't make sense. If it was just the oldest sister and her parents, they would only need three.” Your brows furrowed.

“Right. But with Shelby alive again…” Namjoon hinted.

“Four tickets.” You marveled, finally understanding. “They were trying to run away.”

You shook your head, “But wait this newspaper says Shelby killed her family, right? So what really happened? Why didn’t the family make their flight?”

“So there’s speculation that the government heavily monitored the immediate family of the recently undead after their resurrection. People on the forum theorized that the government caught wind of the family’s plan and killed them off before they got the chance to flee. Clearly, they thought the family knew something they shouldn’t have otherwise they would have just taken the girl. I mean think about it, do you really think a six-year-old could overpower her sister and two adult parents? ‘Cause I don’t.”

You sat in silence for a second. It made sense. The zombie girl was already back with the family so it would be the perfect guise to fall back on: ‘Naive family takes back zombie child only to be eaten alive!’ That would certainly deter other families from trying to do the same.

A thought crossed you suddenly.

“Hey, this happened in our town. You have access to the hospital's morgue records… do you think there is any way–”

“One step ahead of you.” Namjoon interrupted, pulling out an aged manila envelope from the pile, the word confidential clearly stamped onto it.

You held Namjoon’s eyes in disbelief, wondering how the fuck you had befriended a master level criminal, before taking the envelope into your hands and prying it open. Inside were four sheets of paper. Copies of autopsy reports, with each respective family member’s name on it. Your stomach dropped as you let your eyes roll over them, realizing each sheet of paper had been signed off the same way:

Cause of Death: GUNSHOT TO HEAD

Manner of Death: MANDATED HOMICIDE

Police Notified: NO

"Mandated homicide– whoever executed their deaths was ordered to do so. And if the police weren't notified then..."

"Yeah." Namjoon confirmed grimly. A wave of nausea rolled over you suddenly.

“The family knew what we know. That not all zombies are dangerous.” You breathed, swallowing dryly. “And now... they're dead.”

Your apprehensive eyes met Namjoon's, the air thick with the feeling that you two had just stumbled upon something much bigger than yourselves– something you would not come out of unscathed.

4K notes · View notes

inventors-fair · 3 years

Text

First Name, Last Name, Occupation Commentary

You guys really swung for the fences for this one. I was inspired to run this by fun little cards like Cat Warriors, Goblin Assassin, and Dragon Turtle. Cards that do one type by way of another. You guys, for the most part, tried to get as weird as possible, more akin to Urza’s Saga. I purposefully left it open ended to allow non-creatures, but I did not expect about half the cards to be a type other than creature. Some people in the Discord tried to break the rules even more than that. Personally, I wish there were more simple creatures, but I’m happy with what I got.

So without further ado, here’s the commentary! They’re alphabetical by submitter’s tumblr name or preferred credit.

@alextfish - Fractal Fish

Holy moly that’s some fish, visually and mechanically. So let me try to parse this: the first time, you attack, get two fish, then next time you turn those two fish (which hopefully also got in for damage) into two counters. So every other turn it doubles the number of counters, assuming you get in with it every time. At a minimum, it’s a little Tana/Living Hive that can’t be used moe than once. It feels weird for this effect to be in blue, though I get why from a flavor perspective. This does feel like a fish, though, and it definitely feels like a fractal. This card feels top down, which is fine, but I’m just not super into it. It feels unnecessarily complex for an effect that you probably only want to trigger once, maybe twice. I still think it’s really cool.

Allie - Urza’s Treasure

It’s a bit of a stretch to have a land named “Urza’s Treasure” but it’s less of a stretch than urza’s saga, so you’re good. The idea of a treasure land in general is cool to me: it’s worse than Tendo Ice Bridge and Aether Hub, but the artifact synergy is notable. Then we get to the last ability: this card is a mox opal. Or maybe a glimmer void? There are a lot of comparisons, but I don’t know which is the most appropriate. A land that effectively doesn’t tap for mana unless you have metalcraft seems awful, but I’ve seen enough affinity to know that that won’t slow it down a bit. So this is essentially a card that’s only good for broken decks, and honestly, I don’t think they need the help. I think the fact that it’s so all or nothing is a bit of a deal breaker. Every part of this card is either massive downside, massive upside, or both. You could argue that makes it balanced, but I’d argue it just makes it broken. I also wish the “Urza’s” part of the typeline played into it more, but I realize the type doesn’t have much of a mechanical throughline.

@arixordragc - Warrior Dragon

Ooh, a bold choice. Dragon Warrior and Warrior Dragon send two completely different feels, and this one is definitely the cooler one. Six mana 6/6 flyer is a good rate, but not so good it doesn’t get good abilities. The abilities it gets are a ghostly prison and two circle of flames. I really like how they both have a similar feels: 2 damage and two mana. However, I think the two abilities are att odds. If you need one, you probably don’t need the other. If your opponent has a lot of 1/1 or 2/2 creatures, they won’t be able to pay 2 for each them, and if they do, they’d just die. The damage does have a little bit of meaning, though, because if they attack with a big creature you don’t have to deals as much damage to it. I also just would have expected a warrior dragon to be more offensive than defensive. This feels more like a guard or defender rather than a warrior. So it might be better to have one be offense and one be defensive. Perhaps one ability could affect blockers and one attackers? This is a good card, and a cool set of effects, I just think it needs to work on multiple angles. I also think this could be a rare: it’s not so powerful you wouldn’t want it appearing more often in packs, and it’s not too complex.

@bread-into-toast - Zombie Mole

I like the flavor of a zombie mole, since it’s already in the dirt. I do think this sounds better than your original entry, Graveborn Mole, but I think the old one told a more complete story. The card itself is pretty neat, it’s a classic red black aggro card with a big body and a risk payoff. There’s some stuff I don’t like about it. First, sacrificing a land is one of those things that players don’t realize how bad it is for you, so this could lead to a lot of players screwing themselves over, especially if it’s as uncommon. Second, the fact that it can be recast with it’s own trigger, such as when you attack, sac a land, let it die, and then get it back because you had a land die is a bit too synergistic, especially because it gets him back untapped. This means that you have a 5/5 on turn two that if you somehow get to kill by blocking they can just pay two to save and untap it. Again, at uncommon, this is very strong, even if the downside is also very strong. The design as a whole is pretty cool, but I think it’s going to lead to a lot of unhappy players on one or both sides of the field. As a final note, I really liked that you put some art direction in the submission (for those at home, it said “Mood: a giant undead mole attacks, startling the giant (living) moles and miners around it”). It’s a cool way to get a lot of the benefits of art without having to make your own or go hunting.

@charmera - Giant Golem Knight

I think the name here is pretty close. It feels a little awkward to say, but I’ve seen worse. The card is a little weak and a little poorly templated, but nothing that can’t be fixed. For the templating issue, I think telling a player they can’t do something then telling them they can in a different place doesn’t work. Cards like Manor Gargoyle that do this just remove Defender. Since this also says can’t block, though, you’d need something different. I might suggest just changing it to “~ can’t attack or block unless you sacrificed an artifact this turn.” It would power it up just a little in the process, but I think that’s called for. A 6 mana 6/7 is not really above the curve, and the activated ability is hard enough to activate that it doesn’t really pump up the power level of the card as a whole. Vigilance also seems weird on a card that needs to pay to both attack and block. I could see a specific format being able to break this card, but as something you’d see in a core set, it would need a lot of support to see play. I really like the design and concept, it just needs to be rebalanced a bit.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion - Arcane Trap

So, this one is interesting to me. The base rate on this card is good. Glimmer of Genius and Glimpse the multiverse are both super playable and both have a little something extra. In this case, the little something extra is the trap text, and the idea of repeating this card with arcane spells is pretty enticing for the decks that would play it. But there’s something missing here: the trap text doesn’t feel trappy. It’s a bonus, sure, but if you look at all of the existing traps in the game, the difference between hard casting and trap casting is usually massive, sometimes the entire cost! This instead reminds me more of “gotcha!” from unhinged, where the punishment for a player doing something is that you get a card back from your graveyard. It also doesn’t feel very trap-like because it doesn’t punish a player doing the trap-thing. Usually if an opponent is drawing cards it’s a good idea to out-draw them, and splicing helps with that, but it’s not like this is the “ha, you fool!” card that most traps are. It’s just a little bonus. Like when your opponent adds to your storm count. Functionally, I think this card is cool and feels unique, but doesn’t quite feel like it’s representing its types well. Also, nice job giving trap card art to a trap card.

@davriel-canes-tea-supplier - Hellion Demon

You did this for the pun and you know it. Demon straight out of hell...ion. I’d love to see what this guy would end up looking like (not gonna dock points for that or anything, just on my mind). So first, the templating. You don’t need to tell them to sacrifice a totla of X, since X is undefined at that point. You can just say “you may sacrifice any number of creatures. If you do, ~ gets +X/+X until end of turn and deals X damage to target creature you don’t control, where X is the total power of creatures sacrificed this way.” I also might suggest swapping it to a reflexive trigger, AKA swapping “if you do” with “when you do,” which means your opponent will be able to respond after knowing what you sacrificed. Right now, you could target one of their creatures on attacking, then they wouldn’t know what you’re sacing to do it until after they decide if they want to protect their creature. Then again, maybe that’s for the best, since it would also mean if they bounce their own creature in response, you don’t have to sacrifice anything because it wouldn’t do anything. And actually the trigger would be stifled anyway because it has no targets, which is awkward if you were planning to just use it as a pump. What I’m trying to say is that this card has an incredibly complex trigger with a lot of pieces going on. I think it might be worth it, though, because this is a cool effect. A mix between a fling and a nantuko shade effect. It’s a really cool concept, but it’s doing so much that it doesn’t do a great job at mimicking either, and in the end I just wish it had two different abilities that were linked or something easier to parse.

@Deg99 - Instant Trap

Okay, this is a silly card, and I’ll judge it as such. The blue = water is flavorfully pretty fun and funny, but color hate is always going to perform a little weird. But traps are famous for that! Usually, though, traps care about colors if they are built to be good against that color, and in this case, maybe? I don’t know if casting a free trap is particularly good against blue, so I’m firmly putting the trap text in trinket text land. The card itself does exactly what you’d expect. It tutors and plays a trap. Instantly. None of the traps in the game are super powerful, so you’re kind of avoiding the usual tutor issue of always searching for the same card / having exactly one tutor target that’s good. This is especially cool because the traps are by design extremely situational, so having this as a toolbox option is actually kind of useful. I think you’d usually end up getting needlebite trap, lavaball trap, or maybe mindbreak trap because it would be good in the matchup anyway. As a whole, this card is both kind of silly and kind of cool. I like it, but I wish there was some way to make this more interesting.

@demimonde-semigoddess - Droning Licid

Wait a second, did you just make licids make sense? Putting bestow on a licid makes it feel just like a licid. Turning drone into droning is pretty clever, though you got the types backwards on the typeline. Granting abilities not on the normal creature is something we saw just the barest amount of bestow cards back in OG Theros block. The eldraziness of it I wish was more relevant. I love the idea of using colorless as the alternate cost, since colorless is sort of treated like a bonus, not a given, especially in limited. But the two abilities need keywords. I played that block a lot, and even I kind of forgot what they did. It’s also weird that it grants devoid, but doesn’t have it itself. You could have even given it a colorless mana cost, since nothing it does is particularly black. Every ability on the card was in every color (yes, even devoid, you know what I mean). If this was a purely colorless card it’d be cool, but it’s fine in black. This card has a lot of things meant to make other things easier (enchantments for constellation, devoid for colorless matters, ingest for processing, bestow for heroic), so I’m super curious what set this would go in! But in a normal set, this is just a really weird card. I still think it’s neat, and again I’ll reiterate I’m happy you made a sensible licid, I’m just a little confused by its existence.

@dimestoretajic - Hag Fish

A hag fish is a real thing, and a hag that is a fish is what we have here. This card seems pretty powerful. It’s somewhere between a thallid and a tendershoot dryad and an ant queen. I wish the slime counters had some other use, like granting hexproof or unblockable or something. It would up the power level, which I don’t think this card needs, but it would make it feel more like it was slime on her rather than slime coming off of here. On a grander design level, I think this card requires a lot of paying attention for very little benefit. You get slime counters quickly enough you’ll rarely run out of them, but you will just often enough that you do. The tokens have evolve, which is a hard trigger to remember some times, especially on tokens that you might not have printed versions of. Plus, putting dice on tokens is also hard, since some players use dice for tokens. So while the card’s flavor and concept is pretty cool, I think it’s too complex for how simple it wants to be.

@fractured-infinity - Treasure Goblin

I’ve been told this is a reference, but sadly I don’t get it. Instead, I get golden goblins. The fail state on this card is still pretty good. A 2/1 haste for two mana ain’t nothing! And just using it as a bad skirk prospector can be useful too. I like the utility of it, too, in that once you are unable to attack with it as a 2/1, you can sacrifice it for mana to power out a flying dragon or something. This card isn’t super exciting, but it certainly gets the job done.

@gollumni - Gold Drake

Gold: the long lost parent of treasure. I didn’t even know that it had been errata'd to be its own artifact type. Anyway, the card itself is a reference to gilded drake. It even got hit by the card Gild! However, gilded drake is a super broken card! This is worse in the sense that it costs one extra mana and you ramp your opponent, but the artifact typing makes it easier to tutor and cheat into play, or to kill. Also, the way the last ability is phrased, I think you can sacrifice it to the gold ability and still get your opponent’s creature. If it said “exchange,” it wouldn’t, because exchanging needs both things in play. So this is a three mana permanent control magic that gives you one mana back immediately. I don’t think that was the intent.

@grornt - Skeleton Samurai

Now that is a skeleton samurai! It reanimates itself like a skeleton, it bushidos like a samurai. Three mana feels pretty good for it, since it fights as a 4/3. Now, normally, skeletons enter the battlefield tapped, but I understand not wanting to do that here. After all, it’s got bushido, blocking is a huge part of that! But the reason cards like this enter tapped is to stop you from blocking with it every turn and stonewalling your opponent. But how often is that? Well, this is where it gets tricky. Depending on the standard format, losing life on your own turn is either something you have to build around or effortless. In formats with shocklands, painlands, fetchlands, or even a single mana confluence, you’ll be casting this essentially for free. So assuming it’s in something like current standard, where it’s a little tough, maybe this guy is okay. I just worry about a 4/3 blocker that can’t be easily killed. But I guess that’s why you put it at rare, which was a good choice, but I think almost every player would be disappointed to find this creature as their rare. I do love the name and effects of this card as a pair, but I think it could lead to frustrating games.

@helloijustreadyourpost - Phyrexian Druid

This card has a lot of style and flair, but I’m a little cautious of it. A good comparison point for this card is Oasis Ritualist. Both can tap for one mana or two mana but at a higher cost. The mana cost and body are an important difference, and I think might balance each other out, as well as the fact that the phyrexian can only tap for green or green black. I do like that it implies that the set leans black, which feels right for return to new phyrexia. I’m having a little bit of difficulty judging power level: the life payment doesn’t really power down the card that much, but we’ve seen double ramp at 3 mana before, albeit never this versatile or at common. Still, maybe it’s fine in 2021 magic? After all, this is new phyrexia we’re talking about. Speaking of, I like how the life payment mimics phyrexian mana, and specifically phyrexian black mana. That’s a cool bonus for experienced players. I think this is a very well designed card, but I’d be very scared to print it unless I was certain there weren’t any green 6 drops at common that would be oppressive to the format when played on turn 3.

@hypexion - Skeleton Knight

Undead in white are something I wish we’d see more of. The idea of duty extending beyond life feels super white, but is only ever represented in spirits. But here we have a skeleton! I like the base body, and it does feel pretty skeletonny, though the knight aspect is a little weak. Vigilance is cool but at 1 toughness I don’t know how often it will be able to attack and still block. The reanimation clause is also a little funky, since it returns it to play on attacks, but doesn’t put it into play attacking as I’d expect. It’s also odd that it comes back tapped, though for gameplay reasons I understand. You don’t want to give players a creature that can block for free every turn. Templating-wise, I should also bring up that there needs to be and “if ~ is in your graveyard” between the words “knights” and “you may.” I’m using cards like Auntie’s Snitch and Master of Death for reference there. My final thoughts on the card is that it’s fine, but the two types don’t mesh as well together as I had hoped.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes - Spirit Shade

What a strange little creature. Shades are weird, because their signature ability is incredibly powerful and they need a pretty big downside to make them balanced. In your case, tying them to swamps is pretty clever! They already like swamps because of their heavy black costs, so this is a cool way to reinforce that. I still think this is pretty aggressive for a common, but I might be being a little too cautious. My bigger complaint is how awkwardly the sludge counters feel. This is a creature who’s already going to be tough to track since it’s constantly changing P/T, so having counters on it that change a bunch is a lot of complexity, especially at common. If there were also +1/+1 counters in this set, this card would be impossible to track in paper. I also think I would have preferred the name the other way around, but I’ll admit that’s a preference. I like this card in general, but I wish it were more player-friendly.

@loreholdlesbian - Sand Elemental

Sand is a creature type not a lot of people expected, but I have a friend with a Hazezon Tamar deck so I knew. It’s a really clever answer to the prompt, especially since you’re using the word “sand” as an adjective, but it is still also made out of sand! A colorless 3 mana 3/2 is good power level for a common I think, and the ability on it is tough enough to make work that it doesn’t push the card too hard. The fact that it’s asking you to pay 7 mana also means that, so long as you have at least a few deserts in your deck, you’re probably going to have one in play or in your graveyard. The graveyard clause fits the theme of other desert cards, but I don’t know if you’d need in a theoretical future set with deserts. Their inclusion in Amonkhet block was mostly so players wouldn’t feel bad for cycling their deserts in the early game. But hey, maybe that’s just what deserts are now! So as a whole I think this card is pretty well designed, if a bit bland, but it works well with the theme of the week and possibly the set it's in. Good work!

@morbidlyqueerious - Nightmare Spider

This card has a lot going on. The name feels okay. It’s a little odd, but it works in context. The ability feels creepy and scary, which is both a nightmare thing and a spider thing, but a spider without reach will always feel strange. As the for the ability, it needs a little work. There’s some strangeness with the revealing. It only really matters during a multiplayer game, otherwise just revealing every draw would be simpler and save some text, which I think this card needs. Second is the split payment: you lose 1 life, but you also pay two mana. One is optional, one isn’t, and one is 1 and one is 2. I could see this getting confusing to players. I could see swapping some things around to either make them all optional, all life, and/or all 2’s. Lastly, and this is the important one, this card isn’t fun. WotC is pretty solid on not wanting fateseal effects in the game. It makes what is already a frustrating part of the game (the variance of topdecking) into a more frustrating part. Because of the mana payment, is also means that both players will probably end up doing nothing on their turn. The fact that it can’t hit lands is actually kind of odd. Often that’s what you’ll be doing with this card anyway: forcing them to draw lands. I also sort of wish you would have swapped the P/T. I know spiders usually have higher toughnesses, but I’d like this card if it were easily killable but would end the game quickly if it really did take control of the game. Plus, the fact that you keep losing life regardless of if you pay the two means this kind of has a downside that would be more fitting on an aggro card. So while I think it fits the theme of the contest pretty well, and flavorfully it feels very nightmarish and spidery, I worry that it’s too complex and could lead to frustrating games.

@nicolbolas96 - Urza’s Fortification

This is… a weird one. So, you have made a land that can attach to other lands. I would be much more okay with that if it couldn’t still tap for mana. As is, it performs more like soulbond, since both things can still do the same stuff, they just get a little better. I’d also like it to turn off the original because the ability it’s granting is bonkers. Paying three mana to turn a land into a tolarian academy is an incredibly low cost. The land itself being an artifact also means you don’t even get the normal downside of tolarian academy not tapping for anything if you don’t have another artifact. You can even attach it to a land, tap that land for mana, then use some of that mana to tap another land. This means once you have four other artifacts, each of your lands tap for two mana or more. Being legendary and coming into play tapped isn’t enough of a downside for that. This would be strong even in a modern horizons set. I will say this: I do love the flavor. This really feels like an Urza’s land, which is not easy to do. The idea of a land that moves to other lands and is also a machine somehow feels cool and flavorful, too.

@nine-effing-hells - Constructed Cleric

Remember when they printed an artifact cleric in Guild of Ravnica and no one knows why? Well, here’s a robot cleric that feels more clericy. The name is a great fit, and I love the flavor of it. The twobrid mana symbols are a cool way to make it feel more artifacty, but I think they weren’t particularly necessary. No one is going to play this in a colorless deck, and splashing for it doesn’t seem worth the effort. The difference between 4 and 8 mana for the activated ability is huge. So yes, I think this card would see play almost exclusively in mono-white decks. And how is it there? Pretty good! Granting lifelink to your whole board every turn is very powerful, it makes it nearly impossible to race, but you do need at least a bit of a board. I think this is a solic card in a lot of decks, pretty well balanced, so far as I can tell, and the only real issue I have with it is how weird the twobrid is in it.

@pocketvikings - Hamster Advisor

What a pleasant little fellow. Not something I’d normally expect to see in MtG, but I’ll let it slide. I wish there were some flavor text explaining what he’s advising me on. Is he just telling me not to eat my food? So this card is very similar to the card Tajurur Preserver, what with being two green and preventing sac effects (primarily a counter to annihilator), but this guy has the upside of making a food but the downside of turning off your own food. I might suggest using that card’s templating or Angel of Jubilation’s templating. Maybe “You can’t sacrifice permanents or discard cards to activate abilities,” then on another ability the text from Tajurur preserver but with discard added on. It seems strange to see this card at uncommon, since it feels mostly like it’s protecting you from very specific effects that may or may not be in the format. It’s actually a pretty big downside in some decks, like turning off fetchlands, and of course if you’re playing this in a food deck you won’t want in play for long. That’s cool, and we’ve seen that on some black cards like Priest of the Blood Rite. I think this card feels out of place in a lot of formats and a lot of decks in particular, but I’m interested in the implications of it.

@partly-cloudy-partly-fuckoff - Aetherborn Angel

This is one I didn’t see coming, but not in abad way. This feels like a natural name, and immediately conjures an image in my mind. The fact that both angels and aetherborn are sort of non-natural creatures makes he combination feel fitting, but them being opposites of the color pie and origin intrigues me. The card? It feels alright. Artifact matters seems pretty aetherborn-y, though that’s mostly just because they're in Kaladesh. Counters feel pretty angelly, but that’s usually just because white has +1/+1 counter themes all the time and big white creatures are often angels. What I’m trying to say is that while this does feel like it’s an aetherborn angel, it doesn’t feel like it’s THE aetherborn angel. But I still think the card has a place in whatever set it’s for. It seems powerful, and I like that it’s usually the best place to put your counters, but has some utility, plus I’m sure there are ways to go infinite, but when you’re paying seven mana for it that seems fair. I love powerful commons because there’s nothing saying a common can’t be powerful, just not complex, and while this does add a little strategic complexity, it’s not gonna burn any brains. This is a well made card.

@reaperfromtheabyss - Goblin Knight

It sure is. This feels pretty right on the money, not just because the name feels real and the creature types fit well, but because the text on the card feels like how a goblin would be a knight. They aren’t particularly any better at fighting or better equipped, but it at least can scare some people or keep them at a distance. I very rarely ever say this but I think there was room for flavor text here. I’d like to know how this goblin got in this position, and what they’re doing to stop creatures from blocking. The cost also seems great, perfectly in between fervent cathar and voldaren duelist.

@shootingstarhunter - Island Turtle [the 0/4]

One of two island turtles this week. So it’s a 0 mana 0/4 (or U if you count coming into play tapped as paying a cost). I think with literally no other text, that would be a pretty cool card, if a touch strong. There’s also the issues with land creatures, which there are some weird rules for that mostly just annoys judges more than players. However, you decided to put on some… interesting text. It can turn another land into a creature, one with a little bit more power and toughness. That seems… okay? I think if it had just said something like “Adapt 1: sacrifice a land” it would be almost identical mechanically but far, far easier to understand. I think you made this card to fit a very specific idea you had in your head, but I think you needed to step back and look at the final card and see if there was some way to make it simpler, or if not, what that extra complexity would get you.

@snugz - Island Turtle [the 0/2]

Interesting. I like the simplicity of it on the surface. It’s just a Dryad Arbor but with a little more toughness, and it’s blue. A 0 mana 0/2 is on curve, I think, though I don’t know what kind of deck would want it. It doesn’t block anything but the smallest of creatures, which decks you’d need to block against probably aren’t playing. But it can chump, and doesn’t die to 1 damage from stuff like Chandra Pyromaster or Goblin Chainwhirler, so that’s something. The reminder text is appreciated, though the “isn’t a spell” feels less necessary considering the first line, but reminder text can be there anyway! The first line I feel like is trying to fix something, but most of the issues with land creatures are about integrating them into the comprehensive rules, which Dryad Arbor is already forcing WotC to do. But I guess it has it’s uses here and there. Rules aside, I think this card is fine. Like I said, I’m not sure what decks would want this, but it’s unique enough I think someone could find a use for it.

@starch255 - Enchantment Class Saga

Oh boy, what did I do to deserve this? First, the elephant in the room, no one at wizard’s would ever call this Enchantment Class Saga. Is it supposed to be the story of a class about enchantments? Mechanically I guess it’s at least tied to everything. I don’t think I have to tell you this is too complicated. This has more words on it than a pack of homelands. I also don’t know if it’s phrased right, because we don’t even have the comprehensive rules for classes out yet. Setting X to a certain number at the top of the card also may or may not work? We’ve yet to see a saga with a static effect like that. I also think just playing it and waiting till turn four to level it up gives you a crazy amount of advantage, digging 4 cards deep every turn if you have another saga, plus getting through those sagas even quicker. I’m having an extremely difficult time judging this one, but I can at least say it’s too complicated, and that’s enough to keep it out of the running.

@thedirtside - Treasured Clue

This is a really cute card, but I don’t think it quite hits the mark (pun intended?). One mana for a treasure is kind of weird. We saw a lot of people thinking like that for a while with golden goose, which generated a mana on turn one and rarely did anything else, but let you ramp out a three-drop on turn two, and doing this on a colorless card just feels kind of dangerous, especially because being common means you could crack two on turn three for a 5 drop two turns early. But I also like the combination of the two types, since if you don’t need the treasure then you probably need the card. Reminds me of the Horizon lands. The name is also really close, better than some this week, but feels kind of forced. I wish there were a little more you could do with this guy to make him worth tacking on an extra mana. As is, it’s just a little too swingy to be fun.

@wolkemesser - Orgg Hag

I actually had to double check to see that these were both existing creature types, but lo and behold, they were. And they’re both pretty thematic! Orggs are just like big 4 armed goblins, and hags are I guess like witches? But now witches are warlocks. Anyway, the card. I think it’s alright. Trample feels very Orgg, lifelink feels haggy, but that last ability just seems odd. Orgg itself had an ability that cared about size, and the sort of curse flavor of it feels haggy, but it just feels so out of nowhere. I feels like if you removed the white mana in the cost and the ability it would feel just as appropriate a card. Humility in general also has a lot of rules issues that don’t really make them worth it unless they are on big, swingy cards, which this isn’t quite. Still as a whole I think the card is perfectly fine, but a bit off for this week’s contest.

And that’s everybody! If you want to get a hold of me, you can contact me on the Discord. Thanks again for entering! Good luck next week!

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

#same name #commentary #custom magic card #mtg #magic the gathering #inventor's fair

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seijuurouxryuu · 3 years

Text

zombies ate my neighbour (and turned into mince meat)

Title: zombies ate my neighbour (and turned into mince meat) Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Hibari Kyouya/Sawada Tsunayoshi/Yamamoto Takeshi Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompts: Zombie Apocalypse AU | Accidental Kidnapping Tags/Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning, Major Character Death, No Archive Warning

Day 2: Sky Day

06/05/2943

It was his birthday yesterday, the skylark who took over control of Namimori. He was interesting. His first reaction was not to hoard food, but to start a one-sided slaughter with the undead. He then ordered his men to put up fences around Namimori boarder, closing off the small town. He cleaned up the remains and burnt the undead.

Some, though, he kept caged in his compound.

AO3

13/04/2943

The sky suddenly turned red. It was not a gradual change, no, the redness came all of the sudden when the sun was still shining brightly. News was all about dooms day and judgement day and blah. Annoying.

18/04/2943

The sky remained red. Even when the sun sets, the sky was still red. No one knows why, all the scientists were scrambling to find the reasons and consequences of no night but they failed to discover something huge.

There were more rotting corpses on the street.

25/04/2943

They finally noticed; it wasn't dooms day but close. It was a zombie apocalypse, like those in the movies and fictions. Food and clean water ran low, none of the grass or trees or plants can be eaten because they had mutated. Even the animals were starting to mutate.

People were dying faster than zombies could kill them.

How ironic.

06/05/2943

Some, though, he kept caged in his compound.

07/07/2943

Hibari Kyouya. He finally cleared Namimori of zombies after almost two months. He organized food rationing, set up teams of guards for the boarder and people in charge of raiding food from nearby town. Some outsiders would find their way to the boarders and pled for entry, but Hibari accepted only those who were once from Namimori and young children or old people. The rest that are well and able were barred from entry.

It wasn't a surprise, honestly. Hibari owned and loved Namimori. He wouldn't let anyone who is not Namimori in and sabotage the peace. He was kind enough still to accept those who cannot sustain themselves in such trying times. "Those herbivores could not even fight against a tiny zombie animal, much less a zombie. I'd rather they not add to the number." He had said.

I think he was kinder than he let on.

28/07/2943

I got accepted into the youth team for zombie virus research. Hibari had established a team of researchers from a group of doctors. Their main task was to make use of the captured zombies Hibari had in his compound to find a cure--either to completely vaccinate everyone from the virus that spreads by bites or scratches from a zombie, or to reverse engineer and turn those zombies back to human. Honestly, the latter sound absurd. Even the adults said so, but Hibari was adamant that they figure out a way.

A week into the research, none of the doctors or scientists managed to find something; all these old fogies were too scared to approach the zombies even with Hibari watching close, even with them held down. Hibari almost killed them in annoyance instead if not for the fact he still needed their brains. That was why the Youth team was established. Because apparently the younger generations were braver.

More like they couldn't send those around them as cannon fodders, so they decided to push for kids being the cannon fodders. Cowards, all of them. Fucking cowards.

Hibari, of course, knew their plan but he allowed the setup of a Youth team anyway. He had said: "Whoever takes the sample can use it on their own or with their team--no sharing of samples outside of the team. You old herbivores may be smart, but if you don't suck it up anytime soon I will deal with your old bones faster than a zombie can."

In my opinion, that was the hottest shit I've ever heard in my whole life.

16/08/2943

The main researchers were all scared shitless by Hibari's threat so they finally took the samples themselves. The Youth team did too. We both use the samples separately, but every day we would gather together with the adults to discuss our findings. I honestly didn't know why Hibari allowed the Youth to participate separately because honestly, the oldest of us is only 24 and had not even graduated from university. None of us were anymore knowledgeable than one another, much less the main team researchers.

But Irie-senpai said it was because those old fogies were too stuck up in their old ideas that Hibari wanted more innovative brains to speed up the process. He also said with just those old bones, the world would have been annihilated way before they can figure out the cure.

I guess there were some truths in that.

Still, there were not much progress. Outside of Namimori, the zombie virus was still spreading. Hunters would go out and capture one or two back for us to check and to our horror, the zombie virus mutates from one person to another. It was practically impossible to find a permanent vaccine.

But we had to do it.

Otherwise Hibari would have our heads before the zombies did. That who-shall-not-be-named was an example.

31/08/2943

It was my turn to get another sample from Hibari's compound. There were around 20 that was kept, but out of the 20, 4 was permanent, and one of them was separately kept inside the house--the one no one has seen before. Even if the other 3 were rarely used to provide samples, that one particular zombie was never used.

I was curious and asked Kusakabe, Hibari's right hand, and gotten an answer that confuses me.

"That's Kyou-san's. No one else can touch."

I mean, don't all of these zombies technically belong to Hibari?

I didn't pry further though.

18/09/2943

I was collecting samples again when Hibari came back from his trip out of the boarders. He was as usual uninjured despite the blood and gore that stuck to his jacket. What surprised me was that he was carrying an unconscious boy in his arms when he walked into the compound. He was holding him tightly, yet the gentleness in his grip was not unseen. There was a clean blanket around the boy too, bundling him up into a burrito until only his head was seen--brown and fluffy.

Without even blinking, he gestured at his followers and tilted his head at yet another group of new zombies. "Take those samples today." He said lowly, as though to not wake up the unconscious boy.

I could only nod mutely as he swiftly turned and walked into the house.

... Did Hibari just kidnapped a boy from outside?

21/09/2943

We might have a new lead with the new group of zombies Hibari brought back. I can't write much though. Not because of anything but I just don't want to jinx it.

Still, who was that boy?

27/09/2943

As it turned out, the boy--or young man--was not kidnapped. He was originally from Namimori as well and was out of boarders when the apocalypse happened. He had only just managed to find a way to contact Hibari and Hibari went to fetch him. Simple as that.

Was what he said.

It didn't look simple to me. Sawada--that guy--told me that he and Hibari used to be from the same school and Hibari had helped him a lot of times. They were friends, he said. I think their relationship is more than that, but with how convinced Sawada was, I didn't tell him my conjecture. Not that I could anyway with how Hibari stared daggers at me when I chatted with Sawada.

How did I meet him?

Well, as it turned out, the breakthrough we had the other day was a success, so Irie-senpai brought me and a few others to Hibari. Oh, Irie-senpai was their friends too, apparently, so he wasn't surprised seeing Sawada.

After the discussion and greenlight from Hibari to proceed with the rest of the research, Sawada and Irie-senpai started chatting. Somehow, Irie-senpai introduced me and the other Youth members to him, and somehow, Sawada started chatting with me more.

I think he was bored with Hibari's constant silence.

I merely listened though as he and Irie-senpai recounted their past.

"Look, I didn't plan to go out of Namimori at that time. If it weren't for my uncle's insistence that I go visit him I'd rather stay here and possibly get bitten to death by a zombie." Sawada said. I don't think he was bored with Hibari's silence at all now.

Irie-senpai laughed. "By a zombie, or him?"

Sawada flushed red. How interesting...

"Shut up, Shoichi."

Hibari looked smug at the back.

10/10/2944

It took us more than a year, but we succeeded in creating the cure, much to the main research team's anger. We did share the findings with them, but those stuck-up old cows were adamant that what we did and the direction we were looking at was wrong. Now that we created the solution, they couldn't speak anymore.

Our next stage was testing; Irie-senpai said we have to try on the old zombies Hibari has, but unfortunately most of them disintegrated a few months before. Those that are still 'alive' were the 4 that Hibari kept properly.

Hibari did not approve the testing on them and argued a long time with Irie-senpai.

While they were having a sort of 'shouting' contest in the courtyard--honestly, I think Hibari did not bite Irie-senpai to death solely because he was the leading the research--I was having tea with Sawada.

Sawada didn't even look exasperated by their argument. Curious, I couldn't help but ask: "Why wouldn't Hibari-san allow us to test on those zombies?"

Sawada was dazed by the question. He suddenly looked down and smiled sadly. "Well.... Those four are our... Friends. Family. We... Well, the thing is, Hibari and I all hope for a cure to return them back to normal. They didn't exactly die, you know? They were bitten while alive, which suggest that they are still alive. We can feel that they're alive too, in fact, which is why... Hibari and I are waiting for the day to see them come back. Especially..." His eyes dimmed as he peered over to one particular zombie--the one Hibari kept carefully the most.

He quickly shook his head and continued, "I think Shoichi don't even want to test on them, but he had no choice because the newest batch of zombies might have yet another mutation that renders the whole thing useless. Only with the old batch he could tell whether we're all on the exact right track... But none of us wanted to test on them when everything is so uncertain now, especially during the preliminary testing where we don't even know the side effects..."

I seemed to have pieced something together.

I said nothing and quietly nodded.

23/02/2945

As it turned out, mutation rendered the whole thing unsuccessful, yes. But from the old zombies--not Hibari's four--we somehow managed to find, we were all on the right track. But now, we have to tackle the mutation and make a protein that can target the unchanging amino acids of made from the virus. It's all complicated stuff; I'd probably write a whole book about it if I do so I'll spare you, and my hands, from the details.

Interestingly, Sawada liked to chat with me whenever I go to Hibari's place for either more samples or discussion with Irie-senpai. I don't know why, maybe because I looked approachable? Who knows? Anyways, from him, I finally got to know who exactly the four zombies were.

The smallest zombie was Chrome Dokuro, Sawada's adopted sister when she was abandoned by her parents from a car accident. She died in the hospital when the zombie outbreak happened, and Sawada was actually relieved that she turned into a zombie at that time because she was going to die soon from multiple organ failures. He said that once she was cured from the virus, he was going to transplant all the organs he found for her--that was the reason why he left Namimori back then to find his uncle. I suspected that he has connection with the Yakuza or black market, but that was beside the point.

The next one was Sasagawa Ryohei. I knew him too--the brother of Sasagawa Kyouko. She is alive of course, just working in the food rationing team (She and Miura Haru were very scary if you jump queue during food distribution). Apparently, she was Sawada's schoolmate as well, and friend. The more you know. Anyways, Sasagawa Ryohei was Hibari's classmate at one point, and he had taught Sawada boxing once. They became friends after even though Sawada failed terribly at boxing--what he said.

The third one was Gokudera Hayato. He was actually not from Namimori, but he was Sawada's childhood friend. He was a half-Italian who lived in Italy. He had transferred to Namimori Middle School years back because he was fed up with his family (TMI much, Sawada?) and wanted to be closer to Sawada, so he came with Sawada's uncle, who was by the name of Reborn. (I've met him ONE (1) time and I would NOT want to again.) He was bitten by a zombie when he was trying to protect Sawada's adoptive brother and sister (just how many siblings does Sawada have?) and got turned. Hibari brought him back before he bit anyone else and locked him up along with Sasagawa and Chrome.

The last one, and probably the most cherished by Hibari (Sawada cherished all four of them but even I could tell he was saddest when facing this one), was Yamamoto Takeshi. I was surprised, because he was our resident baseball star. Before the apocalypse happened, he was the talk of the town because he was offered into the national baseball team. Sawada said Yamamoto was his childhood friend as well--and apparently Hibari's too--and he was bitten by his father Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, who changed while trying to protect him. Tsuyoshi-san unfortunately was killed and burned by a stranger who tried to help Yamamoto, who did not want to attack his father.

Hibari had almost killed that stranger for burning Tsuyoshi-san if it were not for the fact the stranger had tried to save Yamamoto. But still, Yamamoto was bitten and had turned into a zombie. All Hibari could do was bring him back and cage him up just like how he did with the other three.

Sawada looked very sorrowful when he retold everything.

All I could do is pat his shoulders and console him that the research teams are trying our very best to help.

And I am, trying my very best. I want to see them smile, honestly.

16/01/2947

Sorry, I hadn't had any time to write. It has been... 2 years, huh, since my last entry. I was far too busy--everyone was.

The sky had darkened further in red, the rain started coming down red, even the sun and moon turned red. Everyone could tell that the zombie apocalypse is worsening. Us research teams were even more aware.

After we found the cure, we immediately started tackling all and every mutation. We finally pinpointed a particular protein made by the virus RNA that is present in every mutation; it was the protein that changed the structure of a human's cells into 'undead' dead cells. It's like, some microorganisms can't survive in very cold temperature and would lay dormant but once the temperature rises it would wake up and start working.

Those 'undead' dead cells are the same. In this zombie stage, they are like those frozen microorganisms. Irie-senpai said if we can kill or render the protein unusable, we might be able to revert those cells back to living cells. The zombies can then be reverted back to humans.

First ten testing did not work. The eleventh test, the zombie's cells turned to normal cells but it remained in coma. The twentieth test, the zombie woke up as human once again.

After two hundred tests and a year of observation, we finally confirmed that it is successful.

The first person who received the cure serum was Yamamoto Takeshi.

He woke up 10 days after the jab and I saw Hibari cry silently at the side while Sawada grabbed Yamamoto sobbing.

They both smiled.

05/05/2950

We spread our findings and information worldwide--now no one is killing zombies but capturing them to be taken back to the lab for revival. In another 2 years’ time, I doubt there'll be anymore two legged zombies.

The sky was still red, everything was still red, but the progression of the redness seemed to have stopped three years ago. It was good news. Now, everyone is targeting how to reverse engineer the mutations of nature. It was the hardest part, but it was alright, I believe that we can manage it.

After all, did we not succeeded in bringing back humanity?

Cough. Let's not talk about this.

It's Hibari's birthday. He had wanted a quiet birthday with Yamamoto and Sawada, apparently, but both of them wouldn't let him have it and organized a party with everyone they know. They even invited me under the reason that I've helped them so much all these years. I wonder if they truly thought so, and not because they wanted someone sane to watch over them?

So, it was a party. A wild one. One that would end with Hibari biting everyone to death, but he didn't. I guess he missed the chaos during the silence he lived in when the apocalypse started. He tolerated all of us.

The highlight of the party was probably this:

Yamamoto actually proposed to the both of them. Sawada broke down crying while Hibari.exe actually broke. Hibari had frozen in spot for so long everyone suspected his soul had ran away. Until, of course, Yamamoto pulled him into a long kiss that ended up being a three way make-out with everyone whistling and jeering.

"Get a room!" I seconded that notion, Gokudera.

They didn't actually get a room of course; the party must go on with the protagonists. But it was a great party. Everyone was so happy.

I feel so happy for them.

Well, I'm very tired now after hauling all the drunks back home, so I'm going to pen off. I'm not sure when I'll write again, but yeah, see you soon.

Signing off,

-----------------------------------------

A/N: A SPECIAL THANKS TO KHR RAREPAIR DISCORD PEEPS FOR THE TITLE thenkew morcai senpai :3 <3

Hehehehhehehhe I loved writing this day entry the most. Maybe because its easier for me to write??

I'm finally free from the clutches of studying!!!!!!!!!!! Can finally post and write stuffs hngh.

Hope yall had fun with reading this!

[I apologize for any grammar, spelling, etc. etc. mistakes]

#KHR #Katekyo Hitman Reborn #khrrarepairweek2021 #Hibari Kyouya #Sawada Tsunayoshi #Yamamoto Takeshi #Irie Shoichi #Irie Shouichi #My Writings

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somuchcolour · 4 years

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WIP fic rec list

So I have a shit ton of important things to do so I was like, so what better time to make a WIP rec list of fics that are currently (hopefully) updating.

I know wips get a bad rap but I personally enjoy feeling like I’m in 1830s paris waiting for the next chapter of illusions perdues to drop. Also these authors are giving us sweet sweet entertainment and they deserve the hype. All stories deserve love no matter their completion status.

In no particular order:

A Brief History of Sex by Letzi

Never let it be said that Castiel Novak is not a passionate man. He doesn’t seem like he is at first glance, he’s willing to admit that. But what he does in life, everything that he does, in fact, in life, has been in the pursuit of passion.

He’s not sure how it landed him night after night sitting inside a cramped closet in a brothel’s bedroom, watching a prostitute get fucked from behind by one of her clients through a peephole, but that’s where he finds himself these days.

He has to make do with what he has.

ABO AU based on the TV Show Masters of Sex and the life and work of Virginia Johnson and William Masters, the pioneers of sex therapy.

A Priori by K_K_TiBal, whelvenwings

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are headed to Hogwarts.

Castiel, as a member of the old Novak wizarding family, is fully expected to be sorted into Ravenclaw, like all of his ancestors before him. Dean, as a Muggle-born, has no idea what the Houses even are. With a surprise sorting and classes starting soon afterwards, they're both pitched headfirst into the unknown - and they find themselves in competition with each other almost at once, both of them needing to prove themselves to the people they left at home, and the people with them at Hogwarts.

Over the course of their seven years at Hogwarts, Dean and Cas learn what it means to prove yourself, what it takes to discover who you are, what it feels like to fall in love, and what it is they'll fight for - what matters most of all.

And Death Shall Have No Dominion by ForeverShippingJohnlock

Castiel Novak is a zombie. Or rather, a "partially deceased syndrome sufferer." Treated and on medication, Castiel is deemed fit to return to living society. Whether society is ready to accept him or not is another matter entirely.

Dean Winchester is an active member of the Human Volunteer Force, a group determined to eliminate the undead. With his father as the leader of the HVF, Dean has spent years learning that PDS sufferers are scum, treated or not, and Dean wants nothing more than to make his dad proud.

Against all odds, the two boys form an unlikely friendship that makes Dean question everything he knows and believes, while Castiel thinks that maybe his second life isn't such a curse after all.

A story of love and loss, life and death, and everything in between.

Beyond Our Waking Eyes by abbythebollix

Dean Winchester is troubled, Sam Winchester is growing up and Castiel Milton is too fucking hot for his own good.

Cupid's Fiery Shaft by ChasingRabbits

When Gabriel Milton is forced into working on the school's annual Shakespeare play, he finds himself drawn to one person in particular--a techie named Sam Winchester.

While waiting on numerous universities to dictate the next major step in his life, Sam has been blowing off steam with his friend, lab partner, and (unknowingly) Gabriel's stepbrother, Castiel Novak.

Castiel Novak: a swimmer and one of the school's resident oddballs, who finds himself in a quandary upon meeting Sam's older brother, Dean.

Dean Winchester: gruff-voiced automechanic by day and culinary genius/MegaNerd by night, who might not be as heterosexual as he lets everybody believe.

If it sounds complicated, that's only because it is.

Now That's Comedy by CaptainMercy42

Comedy. It's what Winchester's did. Winchester's, and about a million other dumb fucks with an iPhone and 140 character witticisms about their first world problems. It was not supposed to bug him when no-talent "wordsmiths" got highlighted in a bit on Ellen or Bob and Tom. But it did.

His dad, well he was great at it. It was dark comedy. It came from a dark place; the loss of a wife and the life of a morally bankrupt single dad, almost innocent in how thoroughly unprepared he was for fatherhood. Substance abuse in itself provided jokes for days. The material actually outlasted his dear old dad. This surprised no one. What was surprising was Sam's decision to ditch college and do his own act, despite his lingering bitterness.

The first night Dean saw Sam perform was also the first night Dean saw Castiel perform.

Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by linoresearch

The year is 1722 and across the oceans merchant ships are hounded by pirates. Killing and stealing their way to infamy, the Winchesters plague the trade-routes to the New World, leaving a trail of death and devastation across the Spanish Main. They are villains, and every ship that sails under the colours of the Royal Navy has been tasked with bringing them to justice; sentenced to hang by the neck until dead.

When the lookout of the navy frigate, the Lady Mary, calls ship-ahoy from the crow’s nest, first-mate Lieutenant Castiel Novak has no idea how his life is about to change. In a swash-buckling adventure across the high-seas, Castiel faces sea-monsters, ghost-ships, and much more, in the race to secure a valuable and dangerous prize. Thrown in among the pirates aboard the Black Impala, he also learns that Captain Dean Winchester can be hard to resist.

Number 1 Crush by Duckyboos

Dean, Benny, Charlie, Garth, and Cas are old college buddies. In their thirties now, they meet up once a year to shed their adult responsibilities for a week. This year it's Garth's turn to choose where they go and he's still as obsessed with horror and weird shit as he was back in college. He ends up picking a supposedly deserted hotel in the friggin' mountains. The place is creepy as hell and as night falls, two things become increasingly apparent. One: the place isn’t as deserted as they first thought, and two: Dean’s college stalker is back from the dead.

Dial 'M' For Monster by Duckyboos

By day, Dean Winchester bakes cupcakes. He owns his own bakery (Stairway to Leaven) and people come from all over state to try his delicious vegan red velvet. By night, he’s a fighter of supernatural evil.

Castiel Novak owns the small town's only motel (The Resting Place). He has a problem; he thinks rooms 6 & 11 are haunted. It’s not like he can just look up a local ghost hunter in the phone book though, now is it?

Oh, he can? Sweet.

All The Other Places by Englandwouldfall

As is usually the way with this crap, nothing is that simple. Part 4 of Beach House

Shades of Mediocrity by Englandwouldfall

Dean needs to rearrange his life all over again, regroup, restart and work out what the hell to do next.Castiel needs to learn where to channel his heart break, among other things. Part 4 of Home

The Taming of the Dudes by Englandwouldfall

They've been doing this long enough and successfully enough that Dean kind of feels they shouldn't be arguing over something as serious as the mortgage. Part 5 of As you like it

Two and a Half Sheets to the Wind by Englandwouldfall

The whole point of working on a cruise ship was to escape everything, so the last thing he needs is to run into a guy who makes him a little too honest on the first day of a month long stint around Europe.

With Interest by everandanon

In which sought-after bad boy Castiel Novak agrees to make awkward, nerdy sophomore Dean Winchester fall in love with him for a bet, and quickly finds himself in over his head — but by the time he realizes his mistake, it’s too little, too late . . .

Fast-forward 11 years, and as guilty as Cas still feels, he has bigger problems to deal with. Grieving his twin brother and struggling to provide the care his niece deserves, Cas finally sucks it up and moves back home in an effort to hold things together.

Of course, it's only a matter of time before he runs into Dean - Dean, who's all grown up and even more beautiful than Cas always suspected he'd be. Dean, who says he wants to be friends, and is clearly much better at a game Cas hasn't played since he broke Dean's heart.

Dean, who might not be the forgive-and-forget type, after all . . .

Quarantension by everandanon

In which Dean and Cas weather quarantine together like any Good Friends would — by developing outstanding skills in self-deception and providing all the casual affection and strictly platonic* orgasms the other could possibly need to make it through.** *Really not platonic **Spoiler: They need a lot.

Fortress by imogenbynight

Five years ago, a malignant mass removed from John Winchester's temporal lobe left behind a quietly ticking bomb that nobody noticed until it decimated everything. Five years ago, John dragged Dean away from everything he'd ever known, hellbent on rescuing him from an imagined threat that felt more real to him than the blood on his hands. Five years ago, Castiel let Dean's hand slip through his fingers as he rescued Sam from what he'd thought was a more immediate threat.

For five years, Castiel has wondered if there was some way he could have saved Dean, too.

Now, with a phone call that he'd all but given up hoping for, Castiel has a chance to try again.

It's Kind of a Funny Story by deathsteel

After an aborted suicide attempt lands Castiel Shurley in the hospital, he meets Dean Winchester, a charming damaged young man who is much more than first meets the eye. Not being able to deal with the stress of growing up may have gotten him here and being hopelessly in love with his best friend's girlfriend probably didn't help, but Castiel soon learns that sometimes it takes going a little crazy to find the path you were always meant to be on.

Loosely based on the movie/book by Ned Vizzini 'It's Kind of a Funny Story'.

Just A Schoolboy Crush by Zombiecat

Castiel has a cliche crush on the highschool football all-star, Michael Ashton. Even though he's fully aware he's doomed to longing looks and pining in silence, it wouldn't be so bad if his best friend, Charlie, hadn't told Dean. Dean Winchester never seemed to miss a chance to get under his skin but for some reason he starts acting odd when he hears about Castiel's big secret.

God, Make Small by komodobits

The last plane into McMurdo before the six-month winter brings a new face, an astronomer on transfer from one of the inland observatories. Truthfully, Dean doesn't know shit about neutrino particles; he's just the guy who gets paid to move the equipment from A to B and tries to keep it from getting broken and/or frozen solid. Castiel Novak's awkward, endearing smile is an additional bonus. However, the relentless blue night is brewing coldly for a storm, and it's starting to look like Dean and Castiel might be the only ones left out on the ice.\

Legacies by vanishingact

Castiel Milton's uneventful life as a Massachusetts lawyer gets a little strange in the fall of 1887 when he is assigned to handle the late Henry Winchester's estate and his client's distractingly handsome grandson arrives to take up residence in the old manor house. As an unlikely friendship (with a side of pining) develops, the house slowly coughs up its secrets and reveals a whole world of trouble that Dean never knew his grandfather kept hidden.

The Game of God by seperis

You can't win a war for humanity by sacrificing all of your own. Part 4 of Down to Agincourt

Sequins and Spirals by euphemology

Dean Winchester is a world-renowned figure skater who hails from the “good old U.S. of A.” He is well on his way to the 2014 Winter Olympics, but there’s one small problem: so is his arch-rival, Polish skater Castiel Novak. Competition is definitely not going to be easy, but it gets even harder when the two men get assigned to the same room in the Olympic Village.

Show Me How To Love by universalromance

A new family of kids at Lawrence High School brings a new perspective to Dean's life, especially when he becomes inexplicably drawn to the youngest of the siblings, a severely autistic boy who has never spoken or touched anybody in his entire life. Rating will possibly go up later. Possibly upsetting psychological subject matter.

The Process by Soupernabturel

“Dean, hands to yourself please.”

The man in question straightens up in his chair, turns his flirty smile from the man two seats from him and onto officer Novak. “Sorry, Cas.”

“Cas?” Hannah asks.

“We get some regulars. They come to know a few of the officers, the patrol officers, especially.” Novak explains, the look on his face, almost slightly bored, slips a little. “As you know, I’m usually the one monitoring the Strip.”

Police!Officer Cas is being filmed at work (A-la: Jail Las Vegas) for a reality TV show. Meanwhile Dean is a sex worker, not only familiar with the Strip’s booking process, but with a certain blue-eyed officer.

Start With a Name by cumberbellins, frickenapplepie (cumberbellins)

Waking up in a stranger's living room with a blue eyed man staring down at you isn't the most pleasant experience ever. Dean Winchester can tell you that. Another thing Dean Winchester can tell you is that whenever you have to break into your brother's apartment, you should make sure that you got the right window.

starving in your gravity by alullabytoleaveby

Dean has enough on his plate. Really.

There's his job as a paramedic for the local hospital and, while he loves it, loves getting to help people, the hours are long and the pay leaves much to be desired. There's his definitely-not-a-relationship with Castiel, the hot ER doctor, where's he's completely out of his depth emotionally. And then there's his brother, who's just dropped out of law school and has no idea what he's going to do now.

So what he definitely does not need is his alcoholic deadbeat dad stumbling back into his life.

Make Damn Sure by SurlyCat

Dean Winchester is not thrilled about taking an office job at one the most powerful media corporations in the country. His work has always been hands on, but when Charlie tells him about the job opening and its comfortable salary, the temptation is just too great to turn down. And really, it wouldn't be too bad if it weren't for the blue-eyed man that also works there.

Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester have crossed paths far too often over the last 12 years, with an unsavory outcome nearly every time. This time though, walking away is just not an option as they're forced to collaborate on a project and learn to navigate each other like civilized human beings. For Dean and Cas though, nothing ever goes quite according to plan.

...In Bed by SurlyCat

Dean Winchester and Castiel Milton met on a rainy summer day over a broken down car. Even though Castiel is nosy and seems to have no filter, Dean still finds himself drawn to the man. Over time they become friends, and over time, Dean falls for Cas, certain that Cas is uninterested. What Dean doesn't know is that his friend hasn't always been quite so tame, and Cas is careful to keep it that way. Who would've thought that a fortune cookie and a childish game would be responsible for bringing out the truth?

Tag, You're It! by Kitmistry

Five months after the case that almost claimed their lives, what started as blowing off some steam during a high-pressure situation and continued as a mutually-beneficial arrangement is getting out of Special Agent Castiel Novak’s control. Falling in love with his partner is doomed to end in disaster, especially when said partner is Special Agent Dean Winchester—cocky, infuriating, and the biggest playboy Castiel has ever met.

Still on medical leave, Dean is bored out of his mind, and worst of all - once Castiel gets sucked into the investigation of a new case - without enough distractions from his inner demons. When he stumbles upon a small, seemingly risk-free case, Dean jumps at the chance to get involved, but the lies he has to tell could be catastrophic for the already shaky foundations of his relationship with Castiel.

With a new threat trying to take over the underworld of DC, Castiel and Dean have to find a way to work past their problems or risk losing each other forever.

Part 2 of The H Files

The Supernatural Edification of Dean Winchester by OverlordoftheBees

Based on TV Series “Afterlife”. Professor Castiel Novak (MA Berkeley, PhD Harvard) is an academic who has staked his credibility upon his ability to decompress and deconstruct the mythology surrounding mediums, clairvoyants and all things "new age spiritualist". That is, until a routine trip with a graduate class brings him into contact with medium Dean Winchester: uniquely gifted, supremely abrasive and desperate for a way out. When Dean touches on the tragedy marring Castiel’s past, his neatly constructed worldview is decimated. There is only a veil between life and death, as both well know. And as Castiel finds himself increasingly drawn to Dean, the fragility of that barrier is strained to its limit.

These Are the Nights by vintagenoise

After a sudden tragedy, Castiel Milton and Dean Winchester reflect back on their youth in the beachside town of Sileas, Oregon, and all the lessons they learned on the path that led them to each other.In the Winter of 2008, Castiel visits his boyfriend, Dean, for Christmas. Despite all the big issues he and Dean have dealt with in the past, they've never had the chance to sort through the little things. Castiel is sure that their plans, from embarking on a road trip together, to spending time with the Winchesters, can only be good for their relationship. There's just one little problem that needs to finally be confronted: sex, and Castiel's difficulty with it.In the Summer of 2009, Dean and Sam visit their estranged father and his new family, who reluctantly allow Castiel to visit through Independence Day. All Dean wants is for his family and his boyfriend to get along, but between John's struggle to accept his son's sexuality, and his wife Kate's strange attitude towards Castiel, he's not sure he'll be able to make it work. Part 7 of Young Volcanoes

#destiel #fic rec #spn fic recs #i haven't watched the show since season 9 #and didn't care about nor follow it until november 5 2020 #but i still regularly read fics #At some point I’m hoping to do more comprehensive lists #but this was the easiest cause of ao3's subscription page #fair warning I don't trust myself to keep this list up to date #the irony isn't lost on me

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cartoonus-maximus · 4 years

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I updated my Tendershipping ideas masterlist!

This is the new one (as of September 2020). If you want to see the old one, which has most of the same things, go here [link].

Tendershipping: (or could be Gemshipping, depending on your preference)

Ryou sits around his apartment all day, designing rpgs, watching tv, reading bizarre books, and sucking down ramen. Bakura is going stir crazy, and he refuses to let his host keep him trapped another day in this ungodly routine!

AU with Demon!Bakura and Angel!Ryou ; both creatures are meant to be pure, one pure good and the other pure evil, and their jobs are simply to destroy one another. But, when your enemy is that pretty and charismatic, it becomes harder and harder to avoid these developing feelings.

Bakura calling Ryou any myriad of nicknames, from 'Khonsu' to 'moonbeam' to 'bunny' to 'silly rabbit' to 'Ry-chan' to 'bunnicula' to 'host' to 'little landlord' to a number of things.

Ryou calling Bakura any myriad of nicknames, from 'Kura' to 'dream eater' to 'tapir' to 'baka-kura' to 'ring worm' to 'spirit' to 'stupid tenant' to a number of things.

AU with both Ryou and Bakura being ghouls (from “Tokyo Ghoul”) and participating in some consensual cannibalism foreplay.

AU where Ryou has given up on seeking relationships with the living. Instead, he learns necromancy and goes to seek romance in a graveyard. He brings Bakura back as a zombie, and the undead Bakura is all too eager to pull Ryou down into his grave with him, seducing Ryou with sweet words and kisses all while dirt showers over them and bugs crawl around them.

AU with Ryou encountering a Fae!Bakura.

In Ancient Egypt, Bakura raids the tomb of a recently deceased noble and finds a live slave trapped inside. Deciding he likes the slave (Ryou), Bakura takes him back to his hideout with him. (This plotline is old and often used, but I still enjoy it. ^^)

AU where Bakura is a death god and Ryou is an occultist who is obsessed with the concepts of death/dying. Bakura is a little perplexed by the human at first, but then becomes amused. Despite his dark interests, Ryou is still a very kind, polite, friendly, and overall cheery individual, and becomes a strangely bright spot in Bakura's otherwise dark and dull existence.

AU where Ryou is a merman and Bakura is a sailor ; Ryou is injured and washes up on a beach, and is found and nursed back to health by Bakura.

AU where Ryou is a siren and Bakura is a sailor ; Bakura is out on his boat when he hears singing in the water. He follows the sound to find the most beautiful man creature he's ever seen. The lovely fish man introduces himself as Ryou, and continues to sing, beckoning Bakura to follow him under the water. Unable to stop himself, Bakura finally abandons his boat, jumping into the dark, dangerous waters, chasing after the beautiful man with the beautiful voice.

AU where Ryou is a bored, sexually frustrated college kid who accidentally summons Bakura the incubus. The sexy demon is more than happy to show Ryou a good night, working hard to fulfill his every kinky desire.

AU where Bakura is a spider monster of some sort, who builds giant webs alongside forest paths, catching and eating anything he can... even humans! But, when Ryou, an eager young man who studies monsters in his spare time, comes along and gets caught in Bakura's webs, and when all Ryou can do is be fascinated and even delighted by Bakura's web building and scary appearance and venomous fangs, even while the monster is actively cocooning him... well, Bakura might just decide to let this human stay alive awhile longer. Besides, it can get kind of lonely up on the mountain...

AU where Bakura is a young man who works at a zoo, caring for exotic snakes. One of his favorites is a shimmering white snake he calls 'Ryou;' the snake is very large and powerful, and can easily wrap around a human's body, but has a gentle, docile personality. One day, when Bakura goes to tend to the snake, he finds Ryou in a different form, having changed into an almost human looking creature. Ryou is actually a naga, and he explains that his kind stay in snake form until they are ready to mate; looking at Bakura with hungry eyes, Ryou says that he's ready to mate now, and eagerly takes his favorite caretaker down into his burrow. Although taken aback, Bakura soon decides that his fate could be worse than having love made to him by a beautiful snake man.

AU with fem!Ryou ; I really love the fics where Bakura is this big scary dude and Ryou is this shy gal who happens to be the only person in the world Bakura is at all gentle with.

AU with fem!Bakura ; I like the idea of Bakura being this awful mean gal who carries knives and hates everyone aside from Ryou, who is her kind hearted and artistic boyfriend. Bakura is an absolute nightmare towards Atem and the others, but she also gets this cute little smile whenever Ryou calls her 'pretty' or recites poetry to her.

AU with fem!Ryou and fem!Bakura ; lesbian ghost shenanigans ensue!

AU where dragon!Bakura kidnaps human prince Ryou ; the prince has silver hair and golden flecked brown eyes and ivory skin and ruby lips... he'll make a perfect addition to Bakura's treasure hoard! For his part, Ryou is delighted to get out of the palace and to avoid his princely duties.

AU where Bakura is a pirate and Ryou is the son of a merchant

AU where Ryou and Yugi die in a car accident ; the two wayward souls are taken in by the demon Bakura and the angel Atem (could be tendershipping and puzzleshipping, could be heartshipping and casteshipping, or could be trapshipping)

AU where their positions are switched ; Bakura is a teenager in Japan whose father is a historian who is always traveling abroad, leaving his trouble making pickpocketing son to take care of himself. Annoyed by his father's absence, Bakura steals an Egyptian artifact from among the treasures at his father's museum; it isn't until later that Bakura learns that a spirit called Ryou, an embittered orphan from Ancient Egypt who robbed graves and made deals with demons, is housed within the artifact.

same AU, but Bakura lives in modern day Egypt, and both Ryou and the artifact he possesses come from Japan; Ryou's entire farm village was slaughtered and torched by samurai, and Ryou dedicated his life to avenging his people.

AU where Bakura is a young man in the modern world who visits occult shops for his own amusement, not believing in the supernatural but enjoying the eerie aesthetics of it all. He gets a book on demon summing, treating it like pleasure reading, but then accidentally summons Ryou the incubus. The pretty little demon refuses to leave until he sleeps with Bakura, but Bakura refuses to sleep with a nonhuman creature who he just met (and who shouldn't exist in the first place, thank you very much!). And since Bakura won't sleep with him and Ryou refuses to leave, Bakura becomes the very unwitting roommate to a fluffy demon who keeps teasing him about his lack of a sex life.

Ryou creates his own avatar for the Memory World game, entering it of his own accord (because screw you, Shadi!). Inside the game, he encounters Bakura as the thief. The pair is taken aback by the realization that they can truly interact with one another in this manner, and sparks begin to fly, much to their own chagrin.

AU where Ryou is studying Ancient Egypt and starts learning about a man called 'the Thief King.' Becoming infatuated, Ryou sets about to bring the stranger back from the dead, if only to steal a kiss from the handsome thief that has stolen his heart from beyond the grave.

AU where Bakura is an FBI investigator and Ryou is the serial killer he's hounding. No one who meets Ryou suspects him – how could someone so kind and polite and gentle be a killer? - but Bakura has his suspicions. Ryou is going to have fun toying with the handsome detective! >:D

AU where Ryou is a bunnyman and Bakura is a naga ; snakes and bunnies are natural enemies, but there's nothing natural about the relationship between these two.

AU where Bakura is a thief who steals a holy artifact from the temple of the moon god, upsetting the cult who worship there. The moon god himself (Ryou) descends from the heavens to find the man responsible, but, meeting Bakura, changes his mind and decides to take the mortal for a lover.

AU with tall, buff, intimidating Bakura and short, cute Ryou

AU with tall, whip sharp Ryou and short, scrawny Bakura

AU where they meet in juvie; Bakura's there for theft, but Ryou stabbed a guy

AU with mute!Ryou

AU with partially blind Bakura ; after receiving a knife to the face, rending one eye completely dead, Bakura's vision just isn't what it should be

AU with Alpha Bakura and Omega Ryou

AU with Alpha Ryou and Omega Bakura

AU with archaeologist Ryou and undead mummy Bakura

Ryou has a nightmare and wakes up in the middle of the night. Bakura talks to him and calms him until he goes back to sleep. It's not until he wakes up the next morning that Ryou remembers that the Ring and the spirit inside have both been gone for several years now!

AU where Bakura is a vampire who stalks the mortal Ryou

AU where Bakura is a modern man who goes to rob a mausoleum, but accidentally awakens the vampire Ryou, who was trapped inside. Ryou takes Bakura as a servant, a source of fresh blood, and maybe something more. (This one is partially inspired by the 'Dark Shadows' TV series.)

AU where Ryou play around with a ouija board and Bakura is a random annoying spirit who comes to haunt him as a result.

AU where they're both werecats, with Bakura being a wild lynx and Ryou being a small white Persian housecat.

AU where Bakura is a human/bat hybrid creature with black wings and covered in dark fur. He is captured from the wild and kept as a pet by Pegasus, who keeps a strange menagerie of monsters. Bakura quickly tires of his enclosure, and plots to escape. That is, until Pegasus adds another one of his kind to the enclosure – a smaller albino version, with white wings and white fur and shiny pink eyes. The albino is Ryou, who was born and raised in captivity and has never seen the outside world. Bakura now has a new choice presented to him: stay in captivity with Ryou, or escape with Ryou to freedom?

AU where Bakura is a birdlike creature, with bright red and gold and purple plumes, and a nest decorated with many shiny things he's stolen over the years. With all these colors and glittering trophies, he attracts the attention of many females, none of whom interest him. It's not until he meets Ryou, a male of their species with bright blue and green and silver feathers that gleam in the light that Bakura decides to take a mate; Ryou is very shiny, and he looks like the living embodiment of treasure, and, like Bakura, he is also often surrounded by female admirers that he's not interested in. Bakura decides to make the pretty male his!

AU with fem!Thief, who finds Ryou quite alluring, and quietly plans out many elaborate ways to kidnap him and steal his heart. Ryou is aware of her intentions, and secretly enjoys the attention.

AU where Bakura and Ryou are both cupids; Bakura personifies sex appeal and shoots arrows of lust, while Ryou personifies puppy love and shoots arrows of adoration. Despite their vastly different natures, the two cupids are together and are very much in love. (Their job this week to play a little matchmaker and try to get the humans Yugi and Atem together.)

When Mani, under the influence of the Ring, sends Ryou away during DSOD, Ryou actually dies and goes to the afterlife. He is greeted by Atem, who assures him that he'll be alright. The pair talk for a bit, giving Ryou time to relax and decompress, before Atem brings someone in to meet Ryou. It turns out to be the Thief, who Atem says has a lot to explain and to apologize to Ryou for. Ryou is immediately on edge, remembering how terrible the Spirit of the Ring could be, but, under Atem's goading, allows his mind to meet with the Thief's, and they share memories and thoughts and emotions. The pair reach an understanding with one another and part on amicable terms when Atem takes Ryou's soul back to the land of the living.

AU where Bakura is a dark god, whose name and worship have almost fallen into obscurity. He has no body of his own, and can only interact with the mortal plane by inhabiting the body of a human, and his current body is getting old and feeble. Despite these setbacks, Bakura is fervently worshiped and adored by his acolyte Ryou, who is ready and willing to help give new life to his dying god. Luring another young man into his god's sanctum, Ryou performs a ritual, removing the man's spirit from his body, allowing the god Bakura to enter into the mortal's body to make it his own. The young man's spirit is put into the body that Bakura discarded, and he is quickly killed. Bakura is pleased with Ryou's actions, and takes the acolyte to bed for a reward.

AU where Ryou is a pizza delivery boy, and Bakura is the jerk who orders pizza from all the way across town, ensuring that he'll get the pizza for only the half the price. He doesn't even tip! This means war, Bakura!

AU where Bakura is an online gamer who makes his living by yelling at computer games and doing ridiculous stuff. Ryou is also an online personality, making art tutorials and selling his own artworks online. The two are very, very different, and don't seem like they would know one another in real life or like they would have very much in common but, unknown to their fanbases, they are secretly dating. (Bakura's fanbase heavily ship him with Marik, Atem, and other online gamers he hangs out with, and Ryou loves finding the worst shipfics he can find to embarrass his boyfriend with at home!)

Ryou thinks Bakura must be lonely, and keeps dabbling in arcane arts, trying to summon another spirit for Bakura to hang out with. Bakura has very different ideas and keeps trying to romance Ryou instead.

AU where Ryou and Bakura are the merperson and the prince from “the Little Mermaid”

AU where Ryou and Bakura are the cursed prince and the beautiful stranger from “Beauty and the Beast”

AU where Ryou and Bakura are the thief and the child of the sultan from “Aladdin”

AU where Ryou, Bakura, Yugi, and Atem are characters in a version of “Aladdin” ; Ryou and Yugi are thieves, and Ryou finds a magic lamp, accidentally releasing the genie Bakura from his imprisonment inside. In return, Bakura offers Ryou three wishes, and Yugi convinces Ryou to use the wishes to make them rich and get them close to the prince, a handsome man named Atem. Although Yugi tries to push Ryou into marrying the prince, Ryou falls for Bakura the genie instead; in a similar turn of events, Atem has fallen for Yugi.

AU where Amane lives, and she watches her brother fail at dating over and over again. One day, while her older brother is out, Amane goes snooping through his old occult stuff that he thinks she doesn't know about, and she accidentally summons the incubus Bakura. She tries to hide him for several days in her room, not knowing how to send him back. (Ryou knows she messed with his stuff, and he knows she's hiding something, but he doesn't know quite what.) After Bakura finally admits that, as an incubus, he can't leave after being summons unless he has sex with someone, Amane decides to offer up her lonely, sexually frustrated brother as tribute.

AU where Amane is much younger than Ryou, and she keeps sneaking into her brother's room to sleep with him during the night. She insists that there's a scary monster under her bed, and she's too afraid to face him alone. Finally having enough, Ryou takes her back to her room one night to prove to her that this monster doesn't exist – only to find that there is a monster, his name is Bakura, and, unfortunately, he's rather attractive. (Bakura is open to a trade, and soon Amane is sleeping soundly in her own room, while Bakura becomes the monster under Ryou's bed.)

AU where Ryou and Bakura are both ancient vampires who have been married for thousands of years

AU where Ryou and Bakura are both ancient vampires who have been the respective heads of warring clans for thousands of years (enemies to lovers).

AU where Ryou is a witch and Bakura is his demon familiar. Bakura is frustrated because his dark powers are used by Ryou to do good things, like making healing potions and helping crops flourish. Why in all the circles of Hell did Bakura get stuck with a good witch?!

AU where Bakura is a shark based merman whose got his eyes set on the merman Ryou.

AU where Bakura is an anglerfish like merman who lives in the deep dark of the ocean. Ryou, an angelfish like merman, goes exploring too deep, and finds himself drawn to Bakura's pretty lights.

AU where Ryou goes scuba diving and encounters the flirty shark merman Bakura.

AU where Ryou goes scuba diving and encounters an octopus (or squid) merman Bakura.

AU where Bakura falls into Wonderland (as in 'Alice in …') and ends up following Ryou the White Rabbit around.

AU where Ryou falls into Wonderland and tries to get directions from Bakura the Cheshire Cat.

AU where Ryou and Bakura are the main pair from “Good Omens,” with Ryou being Aziraphale (angel, polite, kind, loves food, fluffy hair, reads occult books) and Bakura being Crowley (demon, rude, likes music, snake eyes, yells a lot).

AU where Bakura is a supervillain in a world of heroes. He takes an interest in Ryou, a superhero sidekick in training, and begins seducing the other to the dark side.

AU where they're both werewolves (especially if they're experiencing a specialized mating season that drives them wild!)

AU inspired by the game “I Saw Her Standing There... But Then She Was a Zombie” ; Ryou and Bakura used to date, but Bakura has been turned into a zombie. Unable to turn his back on his love, Ryou keeps catching Bakura and keeping him hidden in a cage, safe from both hunters and other zombies. One day, Bakura breaks out of his cage, attacking cornering Ryou. But instead of eating Ryou, Bakura turns Ryou into a zombie, so he doesn't have to worry about accidentally hurting Ryou anymore.

AU where Ryou is Little Red Riding Hood and Bakura is the Big Bad Wolf

AU where Bakura is a god of cold and death, and he meets Ryou, a god of warmth and joy ; Bakura's heart of ice might just be melting.

AU where Bakura and Marik go exploring in the woods when they're children, finding many good rocks and snakes and bugs. They meet another little boy named Ryou, but Ryou is a little naga, with snake eyes and snake tail. Years later, Bakura still remembers meeting Ryou and insists that he's real, while Marik believes that day to be nothing more than their childish imaginations. They go back into the woods to prove one another wrong, and they run into Ryou again, as well as his brother Malik. (can be tendershipping and bronzeshipping, or can be conspireshipping)

AU inspired by the “Beetlejuice” movie ; Ryou, his father, and his stepmother Ms Chono, move into an older house. The house is haunted by an angry ghost named... well, he can't say his name. And he stinks at charades. He's attached to an intricate diorama left up in the attic, and Ryou is quick to befriend the nameless ghost, simply addressing him as 'Spirit.'

The Spirit of the Ring doesn't want to be trapped in the Ring forever; getting help from the Spirit of the Puzzle, Bakura corners a classmate girl named Miho, trapping her soul in a doll and hijacking her body for himself. Now as Miho, the Spirit of the Ring quickly and easily becomes Ryou's new friend... and maybe girlfriend?

#tendershipping #gemshipping #ryou bakura #yami bakura #yugioh ships #my thoughts #lots of potential fanfics here...#some of which I've been planning for years but just never managed to get down #yugioh!#yugioh: duel monsters

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lunarsaga · 3 years

Text

Me: I'm not gonna write a fanfic, I'll just do this in snippets My "Snippets": *full fanfic chapter length and only getting longer* Me: ......uh.......

This Episode:

The Band Of Seven, Resurrected

Finally catching sight of their friends again was a bit of a relief for both Luna and Ai. It had been a long couple of days, going all the way home and coming back. Part of Luna hoped they’d get just a little bit of rest before whatever shit hit the fan next, but another part knew the odds on that were pretty low. Still, it was nice to be back.

Kagome was the first to spot them as they flew in. “It’s Luna!”

“Luna’s back!” Shippo proclaimed joyfully.

“Hey, y’all,” Luna greeted as Ai touched down. She hopped off the demon’s back as her friends offered their greetings. “What’d I miss?” She asked.

Miroku was the one to answer. “Quite a lot. It seems that we may encounter a new enemy: the local villagers recently informed us of a group of mercenaries called the Band of Seven. The villagers believe these ruthless killers may have been brought back from the dead.”

With a grin on her face, Luna shrugged at the idea. “Undead mercs, huh? Nothin’ we can’t handle.” She held up her fist for her sister to bump it, and as Ai changed back to her human form, Luna noticed their little group was smaller than it should’ve been. “Where’s Sango?”

Kagome bumped fists with her sister, smiling at Luna’s nonchalant comment. “She went off with Kilala. I sensed a Jewel Shard nearby earlier… so I think she may have gone to look for Kohaku.”

Luna didn’t have time to respond. Off in the distance, she heard the distinctive echo of a sound she was all too familiar with.

“What on Earth was that?” Ai asked, her hand on Luna’s arm.

Kagome glanced at her sister nervously. “Was that…?”

“Gunfire. Definitely.” Luna’s eyes were locked on the trees in the direction the sound had come from. Mere seconds after they heard the shots, there was an overwhelming tang of copper in the air.

“And the smell of human blood…” Miroku said, gravely.

Inuyasha hopped up onto a tree limb, hoping to get a look at what was happening. He couldn’t see it, but he sure as hell could smell it. “And it ain’t from just a handful of people, either.”

So much for a second to rest, Luna chuckled to herself as she tightened the straps on her backpack and immediately kicked into gear. “What’re we waiting for, then?”

And off they were, charging headlong into danger as always. Luna could sense something was up; more so than usual. The stench of blood was never a good sign in the first place, but there was something else setting off warning bells. Something she couldn’t put a finger on.

The smell got stronger and stronger, until… they reached its source. Despite the amount of nasty shit she’d seen in her ten years of hunting supernatural monsters, there were some things that still turned her stomach, and seeing a single human being standing in a veritable ring of blood and gore was definitely one of them. His black hair was pulled into a twist; his lips were painted red, he had blue tattoos like tear tracks under each eye, and one side of his kimono was tucked up under his belt. The dude was just squatting in the middle of the carnage, eyeballing the barrel of a matchlock gun like it was his first time seeing one (which, hell, it might be, she thought to herself; in this time, they would’ve only recently been invented). He seemed completely unbothered by the dozen and a half bodies of freshly murdered warriors and their horses surrounding him.

Inuyasha was the one to get to the scene just ahead of the others, calling back over his shoulder: “Stay back! Don’t come over here!”

Instinctively, Luna remained in front of her sister, her arm out to try and block her view. Her stomach was churning, and her hand was poised to pull her gun if needed. No way this guy could be human… right?

“Did… that one person do all this?” Kagome’s voice was a shocked whisper.

It was then that the guy in the middle noticed them. He stood, his sword over his shoulder and his head cocked slightly to the side.

“Are you the one I’ve been looking for?” He asked, a grin on his face as he shielded his eyes from the sun. “Are you Inuyasha?!”

“Got a bad feeling about this.” Luna mumbled, “That guy isn't a demon, is he?”

“I don’t think so,” Kagome uttered back to her, “I don’t sense a demonic aura….”

“How’d you know my name?!” Inuyasha demanded.

He got no answer out of the guy with the sword. Instead, the guy squealed: “You’re adorable!”

A dumbfounded silence fell over the group. Luna glanced around at the others to make sure she didn’t just lose her mind—but no, the general consensus among her friends was along the lines of ‘what the actual fuck?’

“I especially love those fuzzy ears of yours!” The guy continued, licking his lips. “I want them~”

Alright, so this guy was nuts. Luna had had enough of ignoring the bad vibe she was picking up from him. She dropped her bag next to Kagome’s bike and readied herself for a fight: detached the ammo bag and shotgun holster from her pack and slung them over her shoulder, slipped her short sword through one of the belt loops on her jeans, and pulled her shotgun to make sure it was in hand and loaded. She kept her eyes moving back and forth between Inuyasha and the dude with the sword during the next exchange:

“Who are you?” Inuyasha demanded, “What are you after? You don’t smell like a living person, you reek like corpses and graveyard soil!”

No answer.

“Inuyasha,” Miroku said in realization: “Could he be—?”

“Yep,” Inuyasha confirmed, before calling out to the guy with the sword again: “Some villagers were talking! They said some disgusting specter rose up from the grave. That’d be you, I presume!”

Right, zombies, Luna thought to herself; if he really is undead, the Sacred Salt won’t do as much as it would a demon… It’d sting, but what I really need is-… She smirked and holstered her gun again, grabbing a different weapon from the bottom of her bag.

“Are you one of the Band of Seven?!” Miroku asked of the specter as Luna was tuning back in. “Answer me!”

After a long pause as the specter seemed to size the monk up, his response was even worse than before. “Inuyasha really is good looking, but you’re pretty sexy yourself~”

Luna snorted so hard she thought she was gonna eject her brain through her nose. Ai whacked her in the arm as a warning.

“No one minds if I suck him up, do they?” Miroku grumbled.

“No.” Inuyasha said, flatly.

“Hold on!” Kagome said, “He’s got a Sacred Jewel Shard! He must’ve been revived with the power of the Shard!”

“So that was what I was sensing,” Luna mumbled, “but why does it feel off...?”

“Where’d you get the Jewel Shard?!” Inuyasha once again attempted to pose a question to their opponent, only to once again receive a weird, adoring response:

“You know, you’re cute when you’re angry~!”

“Shut up!” Inuyasha shouted, jumping forward and drawing his sword. “Alright, dead man, you’d better start talking to me, and I want real answers!”

The expression on the specter’s face shifted from one of reverence to one more sadistic as he regarded Tetsusaiga. “That’s an interesting sword you have there… let’s see whose is stronger.” He lifted his own sword, making an odd motion around his head and shoulders with it as if he were gearing up for something. “Yours or mine?!”

When he brought his arm down, something that looked almost like a bolt of silver lightning shot from his blade. Inuyasha barely had the chance to block it as it cut an arc through the air toward him.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome called out in surprise.

“Stay back!” Miroku threw his arm out in an attempt to shield the others. “It’s some kind of trick sword!”

“That’s my cue!” Ai shifted into full demon form, jerking her head at the sisters and the little fox. “All aboard!”

Kagome climbed on no issue, but Luna glanced at Miroku, who made no move to follow them. “You coming?”

“I’ll be alright, you keep them safe.” Miroku said, resolute. Not about to argue, Luna climbed on the demon’s back and Ai leapt into the air above the fight.

“You gonna be okay holding all of us after that long flight?” Luna asked her friend.

“I’m fine, it’s the same weight as you with your pack on.” Ai sassed back.

“Yeah well, fuck me for being prepared,” Luna laughed, starting to prep the other weapon she’d brought.

Kagome managed to tear her eyes from the confrontation below to try and see what her sister was doing. “What did you bring, Luna?”

Luna grinned as she clicked the last accessory into place, then turned back to show her sister. “This? This is my baby.” She held up her favorite weapon: it was a fully-customized folding compound crossbow as long as Luna’s arm. She pressed a release on the side, and the arms shot into place, making both Shippo and Kagome jump.

“Whoa!” The fox demon exclaimed, “What kind of a weapon is that?!”

“It’s a crossbow, Shippo,” Kagome explained, “It’s kind of like my bow, but the arrows are smaller and it’s easier to fire.”

“Self-loading, too,” Luna smirked as she strung it up, “The ‘arrows’ are called bolts. This thing can shoot way faster than a longbow, and since we’re dealing with Zombie Harley Quinn down there—” She grabbed a bolt from her ammo bag to show it to them, “—we’re gonna need these. They’re tipped with pure silver. Great for dealing with Vampires, Werewolves, The Undead, and The Unholy.”

Shippo reached out to touch it, but Kagome stopped him, shaking her head rapidly. “It’s safe to assume you shouldn’t touch anything Luna has in her bag, Shippo.”

The kid swallowed nervously. “G-got it...”

Below them, the fight continued. Inuyasha could barely avoid each strike of the snakelike sword, and his opponent only seemed to be having more and more fun.

“What do you think of Jakotsu of the Band of Seven, huh?!” He shouted as he swung the sword once more.

“Not too much!” Inuyasha came back at him with Tetsusaiga, but to no avail.

Kagome gasped. “He needs help!”

“That’s what this baby’s for,” Luna grinned, patting her crossbow. “Ai, can you stay out of reach of the sword but get me close enough to shoot?!”

“It’ll take a miracle!”

“Better start praying, then,” Luna lined up the shot, finger still as stone on the trigger. There was a familiar voice in the back of her head; she could hear her father saying: “Aim for where they’re gonna be, not where they are.”

I know, dad. She tried not to sigh audibly as she managed to get Jakotsu’s head in her crosshairs and pulled the trigger, quick as a viper.

And… almost missed him.

The consecrated silver bolt seemed to burn through the air as it shot just centimeters shy of the specter’s nose and grazing his arm, burning a hole in his kimono. He whipped his attention to the woman who shot it.

“How dare you interfere?!” He snarled, rearing his arm back and whipping his blade toward them.

Luna felt her stomach drop. “Motherf—”

“You idiot!” Ai snapped at her, trying to fly out of range of the sword as Kagome and Shippo both clung, screaming, to Luna’s back. Just as the sword arched toward them, there was a familiar cry of:

“HIRAIKOTSU!”

And Jakotsu’s blade was then tangled around the aforementioned boomerang. All three riding on Ai’s back sighed in relief when they saw Sango swoop in on Kilala. Ai touched down just as Kilala did, transforming into her human form and unceremoniously dumping the sisters on their asses.

“Are you all okay?” Sango called over to them.

“We’re fine!” Shippo answered.

“Perfect timing, Sango!” Kagome said.

“Some weapon, Luna!” Ai huffed in the Hunter’s direction. Luna just stuck her tongue at her.

Jakotsu was practically red in the face, shrieking in frustration: “What is with all you vile women?! Can’t you see I’m trying to battle Inuyasha?!” In the same breath, he whipped his sword again, toward Sango this time. The movement freed the Hiraikotsu, and ended up leaving a small slice on Sango’s arm as Jakotsu pulled it back.

“Stay out of this!” He continued, “None of you will interfere!”

But their “interference” had served Inuyasha well enough: it gave him just the opportunity he needed to rear back and punch the specter in the face.

“Shut up! I’m tired of listening to your pointless babble!” Inuyasha growled.

Jakotsu grunted as he tumbled back, then rubbed his cheek and pouted like a kicked puppy. “That was cruel…”

“Oh, get over it!” Inuyasha snapped, “Now tell me who gave you the Sacred Jewel Shard before I have to seriously hurt you!”

Kagome and Miroku rushed to see if Sango was okay, but she assured them that it was just a graze; she was fine. Her attention was more on the subject at hand.

“I have a feeling that the shard came from Naraku,” She said, somberly. She looked at Kagome. “When you sensed a Jewel Shard earlier… it was Kohaku. I saw the Saimiyosho around him as well.”

“That means that your brother is still under Naraku’s control…” Miroku said. Sango nodded.

Luna had set her weapon down next to her backpack, and came back with a bandage for Sango’s arm. Her mind was going at a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how the hell they were gonna handle this—first an undead band of Ronin, now they have something to do with Naraku. What was Naraku playing at...?

“Gotta wonder what the hell is next…” Luna mumbled sarcastically. Seconds later, she would regret asking. A cloud of black smoke poured over the cliffside, drifting right toward them.

Like he knew what was happening, Jakotsu got up and collected his sword. “Inuyasha! You should get out of here while you can! Bye!” And with that, he was just… gone.

“What the hell—” Inuyasha broke off with a startled yell when the cloud reached him. “Its poison!”

“But where’s it coming from?!” Miroku wondered.

“We need to move.” Luna reassembled her bag in less than thirty seconds—side effect of doing it so often. “We can figure out what the fuck is going on when we’re safely away from here!”

Why do I feel like we stepped into something huge here? Luna thought to herself as the group of friends moved away from the cloud of gas.

#inuyasha #inuyasha fanart #inuyasha oc #inuyasha au #oc #my art #my ocs #the lunar saga #holy fuck I guess I should just fuckin' write this fanfic #kagome higurashi #sango #miroku #shippo #kilala #fanfic

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zodiyack · 5 years

Text

Human

Pairing: R x reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, guns, zombies, death, SPOILERS

Words: 3218

Note: So this is different from the movie in a few ways, one is that R isn’t interested in Julie. He’s interested in the reader who is Julie’s godsister. Also I wrote half of this at like 4 am and I was super tired, and the rest was written today around 12 pm so please excuse any randomness!! Hope you guys enjoy!

masterlist

A pair of eyes were felt on Y/n’s back. It happened a lot recently, but only when she was with Julie outside of the wall. Honestly, it was strange. The only thing with eyes outside of the wall were zombies, and if a zombie was staring at her, wouldn’t it want to eat her instead of just observing her?

The thought could be tested out today. Y/n, Julie, Julie’s boyfriend, and a couple of their other friends were being sent to scavenge by Julie’s father. Guns were brought with them, specific instructions to shoot for the head and not get bitten.

Perry and Nora were the only people Y/n knew besides Julie. Meaning Julie’s boyfriend and best friend. Y/n grew up with Julie, her dad was Y/n’s godfather. They were close and quite similar, but unlike Julie, Y/n preferred staying inside and exploring the house, finding every hiding spot and every hidden thing. She was a rather interesting child.

“Darling? What are you doing on the floor?”

“Hello Father! Mommy told me that I should get used to the house, explore a little since we’ll be staying here for a long time.”

It wasn’t her fault. Her mother and father moved in with Julie and her father when the apocalypse started. She wasn’t one to prevent anyone from knowing the truth due to their age or innocence, so after her parents went out to scavenge and didn’t come back, she demanded to know what had happened.

Julie’s dad told her that there were monsters and the walls were the only things protecting her now that her mommy and daddy went to go fight them. She knew it was a lie. Her mother told her earlier that day.

“Sweetie...Mommy and Daddy are going to go and get some stuff for us and our group here. We might not come back, so there’s a few things we want you to know. First,” she stroked her daughter’s cheek, then lifting her onto her lap. “Know that we love you, and we always will. Second, talk to Grigio if we don’t come back for a while. And finally. There’s something I need to know you can handle.”

The once innocent little girl nodded quickly, not caring if she could actual handle what was going to be said.

“Good. There are...zombies in the world. Creatures that are undead and feast on the flesh of humans. They have no emotion, no pain, nothing human about them except for the fact that they once were one.”

“Mommy...”

“Yes my darling?”

“Do you think they’ll ever be human again?”

“I don’t know sweetie...hopefully, one day, there will a be a time where humans can be normal again. And the wall will go down, and we won’t have to worry about surviving.”

So that’s what she did. She followed her mother’s instructions, and talked to Julie’s dad. After he had tried to make it seem not very scary, seeing as she was still a young child, she surprised him. She leaned in close to him, the only emotions on her face being sorrow and anger, and she whispered,

“Give me a gun. Teach me how to put a bullet in those fucker’s heads. Let me teach them what happens when you take my family away from me.”

Y/n wiped a tear from her eye, nodding when Julie asked if she was okay. It was no time for memories or feelings. For every year she’s been alive, Y/n got better at her poker face, keeping in her emotions and everything relating to them. She grabbed her gun, sneaking with the group to the small lab.

It was quiet. Safe. They could talk at a normal s-

The “quiet and safe place” was ruined when Nora asked if anyone could hear something. Julie and Y/n said yes, and Julie told Perry that they should bail. If only he listened.

“Oh hey, we can’t just bail, we have orders. Do you have any idea how much medicine the city goes through a month? We need Pharma Salvage to survive, we can’t just abandon our-”

Julie pushed past him, setting her bag on the counter, “You sound just like my dad.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, wasn’t a compliment.”

Nora stepped in, taking a box out of the cupboard and reading it before tossing it to them. “Oh here guys, take some Prozac. Maybe that’ll cheer you up.” She smiled and went back to searching around. However, this time, she stopped and looked over at the window, breathing in. “I told you I heard something.”

Julie and Y/n aimed their guns at the door while Perry walked to it slowly. This made Julie look over to Y/n and exchange looks of confusion. “Perry?” Julie asked.

“We have orders Jules. There’s nothing anyway,” He turned to face the group, making a big mistake and turning his back towards the door. “You’re being paranoid, okay?”

“Perry!”

The door pushed open, a small crowd of the undead beings running in. The one in front tried to attack Perry, only to get smacked in the face with the butt of his gun. Y/n grabbed her stuff and readied herself to rush out, she counted a head count when the zombies first pushed in. There was a very slim chance all of them could make it out.

She knew it was showing fear, but it was the way she could survive and come back to plan a better revenge. That many zombies against a few young adults? That would be a very dumb idea.

Sadly, before she could make it out, someone had shot her. She fell to the ground, bleeding to death. She could hear Julie yelling at whoever shot her, then rushing over to her aid.

“Y/n, come on, don’t do this. Wake up...wake up god damn it!” Y/n felt Julie’s tears drop onto her face. Y/n felt her breath and heart start to slow. Y/n felt herself die.

The light was blinding, yet so inviting...

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5 minutes.

8 minutes.

11 minutes.

Air. Light. Ground. Guns. Guns? Y/n’s eyes snapped open, her head turning quickly to the sound of gunfire and loud groans. She stood up, blinking and observing her body. Arms, legs? Check. Face, feet? Check. Teeth, torso? Che-

She put a hand on her torso, feeling a small item of cold metal in the middle. Was that...a bullet? She lifted her shirt slightly. Not only had she stopped bleeding, but she was moving weird. Wait... didn’t she just die?

“OH MY GOD!!” It was one of the friends Perry had brought along. They screamed at the sight of Y/n.

Y/n was now feeling the urge to pounce on the person who let out the scream. Her eyes turned dark and she gritted her teeth, running at the person and jumping onto them, sinking her teeth into their shoulder. The screams escaped their mouth again, but these ones were full of agony.

Julie yelled a firm, “NO!” when someone aimed a gun at Y/n. She was her childhood friend, and she wouldn’t let her die...again. Not yet. She may have been a zombie, but this decision would be hard on her no matter what choice she made. “Y/n?”

The girl looked up, climbing off the body that had dropped to the floor. She blinked twice, tilting her head and wiping the blood off her chin. ‘I know this girl,’ she thought. ‘Julie?’ She tried to say her friend’s name, but it only came out as moans. Her eyebrows furrowed and she tried to say it again.

Julie hushed her quickly, not wanting to attract any more unwanted attention. The zombies had already left. Julie’s mom died, making Julie and her father’s worlds hurt like hell. Perry was killed, and Julie’s world was broken. Y/n died before Perry, causing Julie’s world to break even more. Now Y/n was part of the undead, trying to eat her old friends. Julie’s world had officially split in two.

Was this hell? Was this because she was alive at the time where others who didn’t make it into the wall died? Was this her punishment for surviving and not thinking twice about it? Was this the world’s revenge for all the zombies she’s killed?

It didn’t matter now, ‘cause whatever had sparked in Y/n was gone. All she felt was hunger. It was clawing it’s way into her mind. She charged at another one of the people that was brought with them. She ate as if it was a feast. The others took it as a sign to get the hell out of there, leaving Y/n behind with final looks of sadness and guilt.

. . .

She had been wandering. It’s been what felt like hours. She was hungry again, and that kid had some cheesy memories. Y/n discovered the memory thing after eating Perry’s old friend. She wished she could have more, so she could feel whatever it felt like to be human again.

What was her name again? Y/n/n? No... Y/o/n/n? Y/n! That was it! The zombie part of herself was catching up, and she needed to hold on to whatever was left of her memories. There was a reason they were at that lab...Ah yes, to get Grigio those medicines for the city. But why did Y/n run? She couldn’t remember.

Y/n left the lab after she had finished the brain. Now she wanted to either find more, or to find the other zombies. Any one of the two would be fine with her.

Eyes.

Sorry, what I meant was; Y/n felt a strong number of eyes on her back, eyes on her front and eyes just on her in general. This was new. She had only felt eyes on her back before, so this could mean a good or a bad thing.

Screeching came from above her, whatever had made the noise hopped down. She turned, as quick as she possibly could. A skeleton? When the fuck did those start moving around and talking on their own?

She didn’t have time to answer that question, ‘cause more skeletons were dropping down and nearing towards her. They looked angry, and honestly, Y/n didn’t want to piss off anything that could kill her again. For the first time...she was afraid.

“R-rrun.”

Her head snapped over to the new voice. He was the zombie that had been stalking her, same red hoodie and dark hair. He could talk though, and zombies can’t talk. He dragged out letters with his breath...or what would’ve been breath if he was alive. He stuttered over some of them, not used to speaking human words.

Y/n didn’t move. In response to her choice of action, the zombie leaned in closer to her, whispering a warning that would hopefully change her mind.

“Thhhhhey k-k-kill a-annything in t-their wa-a-ay.” He turned to face her fully, grabbing her jacket sleeve and pulling her away from the area slowly. They sped up the farther they got.

Finally, they arrived at a plane, which the zombie helped Y/n into before he got in himself. He put on a record and sat down, studying Y/n. It was nice to have company in the place he called home. Maybe she was like him?

“M-my naame is R...Cc-an you sppeeeak?”

She only turned to him and let out the lazy moan he was all too used to hearing.

“H-hhmmm...”

Maybe she wasn’t like him then. She was like the other zombies, who could only let out moans and groans. R and his best friend could speak. Well, R’s best friend could speak a little bit, he could say a few words. R and him had conversations. And in the conversations, it was mostly breathing out H’s and other letters. It was the best they could do, they’re zombies for goodness sakes.

There had to be something he could do. Could he teach her? R looked over at Y/n again, she was picking up objects and inspecting them with great curiosity. Yes. That’s what he would do. He would teach her how to be like him. He would teach her whatever she needed to know about zombies and boneys, as well as what he thought would be nice to know.

He knew her name from the lab. He knew stuff about her from Perry’s brain. He knew things about her from watching her whenever she visited the other side of the wall. Y/n L/n was a killing machine who had been killed by someone from her own side. R felt like it was now his responsibility to care for and guide Y/n.

He felt human whenever he saw her. Now, she was dead, like him. R looked back down at his lap. He still had some of Perry’s brain with him... R grabbed out a chunk and looked over to Y/n. She was observing the new environment again, her face making new emotions at different objects. She reminded R of himself when he had first looked at the foreign items.

“Hhh-hherre.” R tossed her the chunk. He watched her eat it quickly, as if she had been starved and was eating the first meal she’s had in weeks. Once she was finished, she looked up at him.

“Thhhak yyyoo-” She couldn’t quite form whole words yet, but it still made R happy. He taught her every day for the two months she’d been with him. They grew closer and closer. Some would say they were in love.

However, they were undead. They couldn’t feel human emotions.

. . .

“Y/n? You okay?”

Her eyes blinked open slowly, looking around and taking in the oddly normal world. Julie and Nora were at her sides. “Shit. What happened?”

“You and that boyfriend of yours took a nasty fall into that fountain...do you not remember?”

“R!” The boneys were catching up. It was a dead end. They were done for.

The zombies teamed up with the humans after Julie found Y/n and R. She stayed with them for a while, finding the presence of her childhood friend comforting, even if she was a member of the undead. Neither Y/n or R tried to eat or attack Julie. And later, Julie found out that her time with her godsister had done something to her and the other zombie. It made them feel alive, human.

R and Y/n found the rest of the zombies, spreading the warmth into their hearts as well. They were dead, yet alive.

Unfortunately, not all undead things liked the thought of becoming human again. The boneys were angered beyond belief, and now, the zombies just counted as another one of their food sources. Y/n was forced into hiding, she was the one the boneys blamed, so she was the one they wanted to kill first.

R had gone to find Julie, she was their only hope. He found his way through the secret entrance and exit Julie showed them. He made it into the city, finding Julie right away. Nora met R fully that night, and Julie and her gave R a makeover. They taught him how to pronounce words, how to speak the most human-like he could. Then, they brought him to Grigio to inform him of the zombies changing and the boneys plotting.

Y/n saw the door. Their last chance to make it out. It was so high though. There was a chance they could die and not come back. She grabbed onto R’s hoodie, clinging to him with tears forming in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her head.

“You okay?”

“N-no R. I-I doon’t want tto lose y-yyou.”

“You won’t.”

The boneys got to the door just as R turned around and leaned backwards. Y/n was in his arms, and he was protecting her from the fall. They held onto each other tightly. R’s back hit the bottom of the fountain slowly, and Y/n fell unconscious.

The black out of her mind didn’t last long. She woke up, spitting water out and coughing. She breathed in the air that was much needed. Her heart was... her heart was beating. It was racing. Where was R? She looked around, panicking. He was still underwater.

She dived into the water, reaching for his limp body and pulling him back up to the surface. “R please! Don’t do this to me! Please! Please...”

R’s eyes snapped open and he breathed in heavily. He smiled at Y/n. She smiled back and smashed her lips against his. R responded and kissed back. Their kiss was full of passion, relief, and joy. Pretty good for a first kiss, and that was said for both of them.

After a few more seconds of kissing, Y/n pulled away. She looked into R’s eyes, once grey and dull like her’s and the other zombie’s, now full of color. Her eyes had done the same. R’s eyes were a beautiful shade of blue, and Y/n’s a breathtaking shade of e/c.

Before anything else could be said or done, R was shot in his shoulder. Y/n turned quickly, it was Grigio. Of course it was.

“Get away from my goddaughter.”

Y/n yelped. She clung onto R. She kept asking if he was okay in between glares at her godfather. He was bleeding. Bleeding. “Stop it! Grigio, he’s alive! I am too! We were both...what the...Grigio. Grigio, he’s bleeding! Corpses don’t bleed!”

Grigio lowered his gun slowly. He didn’t know Y/n came back as well, he thought she was hiding from the corpses. Julie had told him that she saw and talked to Y/n, so it wasn’t entirely his fault for thinking so. But now, he had learned the truth of R and the other undead beings, and he was just going to have to live with it. The rest of his team put down their guns as well.

“See he’s...” Dizzy. Y/n felt dizzy. ‘Splash.’

“R?”

“Yes Y/n, your friend R?”

“Boyfriend actually.”

All three of the girl’s heads turned, facing the now bandaged and cleaned R. He put on new clothes and combed his hair. He waved at them and walked closer.

“Look at you, all fancy and stuff.” Nora teased R. “Now, come on Julie, lets leave the lovebirds alone, okay?”

Julie followed Nora after hugging her godsister goodbye. Now that they were gone, R moved over to Y/n, hugging her into his side with one arm. They sat like that for a moment.

“R. Do you think you remember the rest of your name?”

“No...Sadly not.”

“Do you think it was anything like Roy? Richard? Ricky? Riley? You can change your name if you’d like, since this is kind of a fresh start for you.”

R looked over to his girlfriend, he let out a chuckle at her determined expression. “How about just R.”

“Just R?”

“Just R.”

“Well, R, what do you wanna do with your life now?”

“Hm...how about we just be human for now.”

“I like that idea.” So the two humans sat on the rail of the bridge, watching the sunset. Y/n leaned her head on R’s shoulder and smiled. He loved his human, before she was even his. She once loved her zombie and he once loved his zombie. Now, she loved her human and he loved his human again.

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arsonandmorearson · 4 years

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fic snippets

As per my previous post, I don’t really plan on finishing any of my MP fics any more. I figured it’d still be fun to share the ideas I had rolling around. If you like anything, feel free to use them if you credit me!

graveyard whistling

brian backstory fic. i headcanoned that he was murdered and forgot about it, and he moved in with vicky for a few years before they both went to Spooky High. eventually becomes bramien.

He wakes up in a dumpster with no idea how he got there. *

"Wow, you're real tall for a zombie."

He looks up. He's not sure how the speaker can tell what his full height is, considering he's crouched in an alleyway and they're standing a few metres away. His eyesight isn't the greatest, and the sun setting an hour ago doesn't help; he can't tell much about the stranger other than 'blue' and 'lots of hair'. He ignores them in favour of his cold, slightly gross slice of scavenged pizza.

"I didn't know zombies ate fast food!" they comment.

"Yeah, well, this one does," he mutters around a mouthful of greasy cheese. He tries not to feel bothered by the other person's observations, unsure which part unsettles him more: the confirmation that he is undead, or the fact that he's an unusual case. He startles when a pale hand is thrust in front of his face.

"I'm Vicky!" the hand's owner says cheerfully.

"And I'm eating," he replies pointedly, more than a little irritated at the interruptions. To his further annoyance, Vicky sits down next to him. He's a bit shocked at first to see that they're... well, clearly not human anymore, judging by the extensive stitches and unusual skin tone. But who is he to judge? He started turning fucking green about a week ago.

Vicky looks at him with bright eyes. "So what's your name?"

He shrugs.

To his surprise, Vicky seems to take this into stride. "That sounds pretty normal!" she says cheerfully. "Dying probably makes it pretty easy to forget stuff."

Somehow the pizza tastes worse than before. "Um... sure?"

Vicky gasps. "Oh! Sorry, was that insensitive? I'm still getting used to this whole being-undead business and got over-excited. You're the first person I've met who's also a reanimated corpse!"

Fantastic. He's going to put that pizza down now. "Uh... same here."

********

shall I compare thee to a summer’s gay?

bramien fic in which Brian doesn’t actually ask Damien out for Monster Prom and tries to get over his crush, and it starts to work because he meets someone online who’s really good at writing poetry, and they seem to like him back...

(it’s Damien, obviously)

Let it be known that Brian is a fucking chickenshit coward when it really matters.

Well. He’s being a bit dramatic. Monster Prom doesn’t matter that much. It’s more the missed opportunity to ask Damien to go to the prom with him that matters. He sees his friends scrambling in the last few weeks to try and win their classmates over and, frankly, Brian thinks he’d rather die a second time.

********

the fox and the hellhound

inspired by the brian x vera polaroid where brian has the kitsune mask. some fantasy setting where brian is an undead demon slayer and damien was the demon he’s hunting. i ended up reusing my exact plot details for an original work so i’m not sharing it here, but feel free to use this idea as a general prompt if it catches your interest!

#writing #long post

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ghostsray · 4 years

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Danny Zombie chapter 2

(remember this fic? here’s the second chapter. tbh i dont even have a plot in mind, im just writing whatever bs pops in my head. based on @burning-clutch‘s prompt: an au where the ghosts are humans and the humans are ghosts)

Walker trudged into the cemetary. It was the dead of night, pun unintended, and he carried a flashlight to provide him better light than the dim full moon. He had received complaints from the surrounding residents about a strange occurence here: a flash of light, a sudden storm. To him, that sounded like a load of crap, but more than one person had witnessed it, so he had no choice but to investigate.

The flashlight's beam caught a group of teenagers up the hill, standing among a row of graves. As soon as they noticed him, they began to flee--two at first, then another pair trailing after. "Hey!" Walker called and picked up his pace, but he was too late. The four troublemakers had already made it to the opposite wall by the time he reached the grave they were ransacking.

Walker stopped and turned his flashlight down over the grave. He let out a disapproving tsk at what he saw. Whoever those teens were, (and he had an idea; he was familiar with all the troublemakers in town,) they had undoubtedly robbed the grave. A deep hole was dug in the mound, almost as if somebody had climbed out from inside the grave. Walker chuckled at that image. As if zombies were real.

The cop shone his flashlight down the hole. At first, he was met with nothingness, which was odd. Surely the graverobbers couldnt have taken the whole corpse with them, could they? Then, something stirred. Walker nearly dropped his flashlight in surprise, but he caught it and kneeled over the open grave to get a better look.

Nothing.

Walker exhaled. He was not a superstitious man, but this place gave him the creeps. He stood up, and as he did, his foot knocked against something. He looked down and grinned. A guitar--and a familiar one at that. He was sure the owner's parents would enjoy a nice chat with him.

He bent down to pick up the instrument, and that was when it happened. Toxic green light gradually grew from the grave and intensified until everything was shed in chartreuse. Walker momentarily forgot about the guitar, whipping his head back to face the grave.

It wasn't so empty anymore. When he peeked inside again, a swirling vortex of green...something...had filled it up. The light it produced was so bright it painted the soil a sickly green. Walker's jaw hung loose as he gawked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Just then, something rose out of the vortex--or rather, someone.

He was a tall man in a white suit and sunglasses hiding his eyes, but what really caught Walker's attention was the fact that he was glowing. If one stared at him hard enough, his skin appeared transparent, and Walker thought he saw his skull underneath his face. Oh, yeah, and he was floating in the middle of the air above the portal he had come through.

The man, whatever he was, looked down at Walker, and goosebumps broke out on his flesh. He picked up his jaw long enough to ask, "Who...What are--"

He couldn't finish his sentence before the creature lunged at him. Walker held his arms up to protect himself, but it didn't do anything, because he wasn't attacked. Instead, the man--the ghost--had entered his body.

Walker's entire body shuddered. He felt his mind being pushed into nothingness as whatever was inside him wrested control. He desperately tried to cling to his consciousness, but it was no use. When he opened his eyes, he wasn't Walker anymore.

Operative's eyes glowed red. He flexed his borrowed neck and smiled.

Sidney woke up on 6 AM, like he did everyday. The alarm clock was ringing by his bedside, and he rolled in bed and slammed the top until it quieted. His eyes fluttered open. Blue eyes stared at him.

"Jiminy Cricket!" he blurted and fell off his bed.

"Jiminy Cricket?" Danny echoed. "What year were you born in?"

Sidney glared up at him from his spot upside down on the floor. The halfa was standing in Sidney's bedroom, wearing his borrowed clothes after Sidney had insisted he take a shower last night to remove all that creepy dirt on his body. He looked more alive than he had yesterday, almost normal even, though he was still pale.

"Says the guy who died forty years ago," Sidney grumbled and righted himself. He glanced at the halfa again and asked, "Didn't sleep?"

Danny slowly shook his head. "Dreams...are scary."

Sidney raised an eyebrow. Now that he looked at those blue eyes again, he noticed they seemed pretty bloodshot. "Not all dreams are scary," he said. "For example, I was just having a wonderful dream about standing up to Aragon."

"Who's Aragon?"

"This bully in school," Sidney said, and the way he mentioned the word "bully" made it sound like the worst insult possible. "His real name is Aaron, but he thinks calling himself Aragon is edgier or whatever. He thinks that just because he's rich, he's so much better than everyone else." He shook his head and added, "What about you? What dream is so scary you couldn't sleep?"

Danny didn't reply. He averted his eyes and focused on a corner.

Sidney sighed. Once again, he wondered why he was even letting him stay at his house. Curse that Ember for dropping him here. Hey, Poindexter! Here's this undead guy I found in the middle of the cemetary. I'll just drop him in your house and then leave!

He can't say he doesn't understand her reasoning, though. Ember's parents would never let her sneak a boy in her house, but Sidney's grandmother was barely aware of what was going on around her. One time he managed to keep a cat inside for an entire month, and she had no idea. (The cat's name was Gene Kelly, and he escaped when Sidney left the window open one day.)

"Well, you're a human now, and humans need to sleep," Sidney told him. "Eight hours a day. Then again, you are only part human, so I'm not sure if you need that much...um, what are you doing?"

Danny had lost interest in whatever Sidney was saying and had started rummaging around his room. Sidney got up and stopped him before he could pull open his underwear drawer. "Hey, just because I'm letting you stay over in my room doesn't mean you're free to search through my stuff! What are you searching for, anyway?"

"I told you yesterday," Danny said. "I need to make a call."

"The phone is right there, in case you haven't noticed," Sidney retorted and pointed at the telephone on his desk. But Danny shook his head.

"Phones can't contact the dead. Don't you have a ouija board? A crystal ball?"

Sidney's eyebrows rose to his scalp. "No? I'm not really into witchcraft. Maybe Desiree might have that stuff."

"Who's she?"

"A neighbor. But I'm not taking you to see her."

"Why not?"

"Because," Sidney said, "I need to go to school, and I don't trust you enough to let you roam around town unsupervised. How do I know you won't eat anyone's brains or anything?"

Danny huffed. "Why does everyone keep mistaking me for a zombie? I'm a ghost."

"You're a walking dead person who crawled out of his grave, that's why. Now can you just...stay put while I get ready for school?"

"School?" Danny asked, sounding interested.

Sidney rolled his eyes. "Yes, school. You know, where you learn stuff? I'm pretty sure those existed around your time."

"Of course I know what a school is," Danny replied, then hesitantly added, "Can I come?"

Sidney blinked. "You...want to come to school?"

Danny shrugged. "I'm curious about what new stuff students are learning since I was gone."

Despite himself, Sidney grinned. "I didn't know you were a fellow nerd."

"I'm not a nerd," Danny said, blushing. Sidney laughed and patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, buddy. Being a nerd is actually pretty cool these days."

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope. Dungeons and Dragons is hot. Star Trek is mainstream. You have a lot to catch up on."

Danny didn't look like he believed him, which only made Sidney laugh more. "Come on, I'll bring you to school."

Casper High hadn't changed much in forty years, although the student body did grow. Some of the students cast curious glances at Danny as Sidney led him through the crowded hallways, but they didn't say anything. Well, except for one.

"Who do we have here?" a voice purred. Sidney groaned and turned to face the speaker.

"Hey, Aragon," he greeted with a strained smile.

Aragon looked...not as intimidating as Danny expected. He was thin, with a pimple-ridden face and greasy hair, but his sneer was enough to signify that he was a bad guy.

Aragon sized up Danny and said, "I haven't seen you around."

"This is Danny, my, uh...cousin," Sidney lied. "He's..."

"Homeschooled," Danny supplied. "But I'm curious about what regular schools are like, so Sidney offered to show me around his school." He lied so effortlessly that Sidney wondered if he had practiced it beforehand.

Aragon snickered. "Homeschooled? That's probably because you're too wimpy to be around other kids. Hey, Poindexter, why don't you join your cousin at home? It's not like anyone will miss you."

Sidney bristled. He thought of numerous insults he could throw at the bully, and he almost might have said one out loud, but then Danny spoke up and said, "You're not scary."

Aragon blinked. "Excuse me? My dad can probably buy your dad's company."

"I doubt that," Danny muttered.

Aragon bristled and almost said something back, but then a girl came and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Leave them alone, Aaron," she told him.

Sidney smiled when he saw it was Dora. He loved Dora--she was basically the anti-Aragon, kind to everyone. She caught his eyes and smiled back.

Aragon shrugged her hand away and scowled. "Fuck off, Dora. I'm pretty sure that guy just insulted me."

"He just said you aren't scary," Dora said, "which is true."

Sidney snorted. Aragon turned on him, but before he could speak, his condescending posture dissolved at the sight of a woman coming up to them. "Miss Pandora!" he said, suddenly sounding polite.

The tallest human Danny had ever seen stood over them with her hands on her hips. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," Aragon told her, and he actually wrapped his arm amiably around Danny's shoulders and said with a smile, "We were just greeting Sidney's cousin here."

She raised her eyebrow and noticed Danny. "Cousin, eh?"

"He's homeschooled," Sidney said helpfully.

"Well, then! It's very nice of you to show him around." The teacher smiled at Aragon, and it took Sidney considerable effort not to roll his eyes. Pandora added, "Maybe you can let him take a lesson with you. Class is just about to start, you know."

"Yes, ma'am," Aragon said with a white-toothed smile and saluted her. Pandora passed them, and as soon as she turned a corner and left, Aragon pushed Danny away from him.

"Have fun at school, fuckhead," he said and laughed. He left, and Dora turned to him with a grimace.

"I'm sorry about my brother," she apologized.

Danny shrugged. "He's...interesting."

"What the fuck!"

The three teens turned to see Johnny standing in the hallway, glaring at Danny with his jaw agape. He strode to him, then jabbed a finger at his chest and demanded, "What are you doing in my school?"

"Stop that," Dora said. "Why is everyone intent on bullying the visitor?"

Johnny stared at her with disbelief written all over his face. "You don't know what he is, do you?"

Dora looked confused, but Danny just smiled and said, "Hey, Johnny. Thanks for helping me last night."

Johnny scoffed. "I didn't help you. That was all Ember."

"True, but at least you didn't stop her."

"I'm sorry, what's happening?" Dora asked, glancing between them.

Johnny scowled and said, "He's a zombie."

"Ghost, actually," Danny corrected.

Dora stared at them for a moment, and then she burst with laughter. Johnny raised his eyebrows and saw her with a hand over her mouth, eyes crinkled humorously. "Ghost! Ha ha."

Johnny frowned and said, "It's not--"

"It's a very funny joke!" Sidney interrupted. "I bet he even crawled out his grave."

He smirked at Dora as he said this, and Dora laughed harder. Sidney felt Johnny's eyes boring into him, but thankfully, the school bell chose that moment to ring. Dora wiped tears from her eyes and said to Danny, "Have a nice day, ghost boy."

"Will do," Danny replied with a toothy grin.

Dora left, but Johnny stuck behind. He sent a glare at Danny and stated, "I don't trust the undead." Then he turned to Sidney and added, "You shouldn't, either."

The way his eyes bore into him made goosebumps break out on Sindney's skin. Finally, Johnny turned and left, his shadow trailing behind him.

"What a great guy," Danny said after he was gone. Sidney tried to study his expression, but Danny was wearing an unreadably simple smile, and his hands were in his pockets. Danny's blue eyes met Sidney. "So, where's your class?"

Fuck, Ember thought as she sped down the hallway. She was late for class and Ms. Pandora was gonna kill her. She turned a corner, then stopped so suddenly she almost slipped on the linoleum floor.

The man in front of her turned around. He was wearing sunglasses indoors for some reason. On his chest sat a sherrif badge, and in his hand was her guitar. She had no idea what was with the glasses, but it obviously wasn't enough to stop her from recognizing him, nor quell her anxiety at his presence.

"You," he grunted, which erased any chance she had of escaping unnoticed.

Ember gulped and waved nervously. "Heyyy, Sheriff Walker. What are you doing here?"

Walker held forward her guitar. "Is this yours?"

Oh boy. Ember began to explain, "I swear, I didn't rob that grave. Heck, why would I even be in the graveyard? I don't know how this got there, you must have seen someone else--"

Walker ignored her and shoved the guitar at her. Then, to her surprise, he said, "Take it. I have no interest in it."

Walker? Letting someone go when he had a chance to arrest them? Ember eyed him and asked, "Who are you and what have you done to Walker?"

She had meant it as a joke, but the way he stiffened made her reconsider the truth of her statement. He said, "I don't care what happens to you, human," which Ember thought was a strange choice of words, "I only wish to know where the escapee is."

"The what?"

Walker (if that even was him) turned his attention away from her and focused on the hallway behind her. Now that Ember listened, she heard footsteps approach. She turned around and saw Sidney and...was that Danny? What was he doing in school?

Danny seemed to freeze up at the sight of Walker. Maybe it was her imagination, but she thought she saw his breath turn to mist as it escaped his mouth, which shouldn't have been possible because it wasn't cold enough inside the building. His eyes widened.

When she looked back at who may or may not have been Walker, she saw his face stretched in an unnerving grin. He walked around her and strode toward Danny, who somehow got stiffer the closer Walker got to him.

Ember didn't understand what was going on, but she knew enough to be able to tell that this not-Walker was bad news (yes, even worse than the real Walker) and that Danny seemed to be, for whatever reason, in danger. She shoved herself between not-Walker and Danny and said, "So, Sheriff, how's life?"

Not-Walker growled and shoved her away. Yep, that definitely was not Walker. Danny saw that he wasn't stopping and began to run away, but not-Walker grabbed his arm and tugged him back.

It didn't feel right, seeing the undead guy look so scared. Ember barely thought about her next action. She looked down at her guitar, remembered how good a weapon it made when she whacked Danny in the head last night, and swung it at the back of not-Walker's head. Not-Walker grunted and let go of Danny. His glasses fell to the floor, and when he turned around to glare at her, she froze--because his eyes were as red as blood. Ember was fairly certain that Walker's eyes were supposed to be green.

"Ember, get away! He's a ghost!" Danny warned.

Ember stared wide-eyed at Danny, and that was long enough for not-Walker's fist to connect with her gut and send her toppling backward. He didn't just punch her--he also sent a strange beam of green light that made her body buzz with electricity and sent her skidding across the hallway. She fell over and clutched her stomach, wheezing. She weakly raised her head enough to watch not-Walker grab Danny again and lift him up by his neck. Sidney was next to them, but he looked too paralyzed to help, and Ember was in too much pain to get up.

"Danny Phantom--" Danny Phantom? "--I see you're alive," not-Walker said with a sneer.

Danny quit struggling in not-Walker's grip long enough to gulp. "Alive? Nah. I'm just overshadowing someone, like you are."

"You think you can lie to me? I know what overshadowing senses like. You're alive." His cheeks looked like they were pulled back by invisible strings into a cruel smirk, and he added, "But if you're really only borrowing this body, then I suppose killing it won't do anything to you, would it?"

His grip around Danny's neck tightened, and Danny's struggling became strained. Why couldn't he just go intangible? Sidney looked like he finally snapped out of his paralysis, and he ran forward to help Danny with a yell of, "Let him go!" Unfortunately, he was quickly pushed back by the same weird light that attacked Ember.

"You're mortals," not-Walker growled. "You don't understand the laws that govern ghosts. The dead stay dead. Ressurecting oneself is a major crime--against the laws of the Ghost Zone and the laws of nature."

Cool, so it wasn't Walker, but he sure as hell was equally obsessed with arresting people. Or, well...executing them was more like it, if he continued to squeeze Danny's throat any longer. (Re-executing? What would happen if you die a second time?)

Ember gritted her teeth and pushed herself up. She may have only known Danny for less than a day, but there was no way she was letting the weirdest friend she'd had disappear so soon after she met him.

Without a second thought, she ran up to not-Walker, ignoring the pain in her gut, and shouted, "Hey, dipstick!" Not-Walker turned around but did not have time to prepare when her boot swung up and connected with his crotch.

Not-Walker cringed. Ember wasn't sure if the ghost was able to feel pain from inside Walker's body (probably not, because she was confident in the power of her kick) but the shock of being kicked in the private part was enough to loosen his grip on Danny. Danny, now able to breathe, took this opportunity to thrust his hand into not-Walker's face, and before she could blink, a bright burst of green light not unlike not-Walker's own attacks was released from his palm and roasted Walker's face.

Apparently, the ghost did feel pain from that, because he yowled and let go of Danny. Danny didn't waste any time after he landed before grabbing Ember and Sidney by the arms and sprinting down the hallway and around a corner, away from not-Walker's sight.

Danny kept running, pulling the two humans behind him. She didn't know how long they went--lockers and windows passed by in a blur--before he apparently thought they were far enough from the ghost possessing Walker and let go of their arms to slump on the floor and pant.

"Okay, what was that?" Sidney demanded.

"Yeah, and why did that guy call you Danny Phantom?" Ember added.

Danny didn't answer them at first, still catching his breath. Finally, he gulped and said, "So, that was the ghost police."

"I kind of figured," Ember said, remembering the ghost's words. "Resurrecting yourself is illegal?"

"Of course it is," Sidney said, staring at Danny, and Ember thought she saw a hint of wildness in his eyes. "It's unnatural! You're supposed to be dead!"

Danny flinched. Ember bit her lip and placed a hand on Sidney's shoulder. "Hey, man. What's done is done. Danny's alive now."

Sidney kept huffing for a moment before he covered his face with a hand and sighed. "No. I know. It's just...I wasn't expecting to be a attacked by a ghost-possessed Walker today."

"I mean, you did bring Danny to school," Ember pointed out. "Why did you bring Danny to school?"

"I asked to come," Danny answered.

"Why would you want to come to school? Are you a nerd?"

Danny looked about to argue, but then Sidney spoke up, "That's not important. That ghost inside Walker is still around. How do we get rid of him?"

Danny hummed thoughtfully. "Usually, in the Ghost Zone, we just duke it out with ghost powers, but I don't think that would work when I'm part human."

It was then that Ember finally noticed the way Danny was cradling his hands tenderly. She looked at his palm and saw it filled with slightly greenish blisters. Danny caught her looking and covered his palms, but she had already seen them. Guess that ghostly light attack was too hot for a human body to handle.

"Then what do we do?" Sidney asked.

Danny shrugged. "Maybe...are there myths about ghost weaknesses? Usually those have a little truth in them."

"What, you mean like, sprinkle salt on him?" Ember said with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe," Danny said. "I--"

Whatever he was about to say was cut off when a blur came through the wall behind them, grabbed Danny, and went through the opposite wall. Ember and Sidney both stared slack-jawed as they tried to make sense of what just happened.

"Ghost," Sidney said.

"Salt," Ember said. "I'll go to the cafeteria."

"I think I also have something that might help," Sidney said. "I'll go get that."

There was no time for Ember to ask what thing Sidney had that might work against a ghost. The two teens separated and ran down different directions, Ember to the school cafeteria. She arrived to find it empty apart from the lunch lady behind the counter.

The lunch lady was humming to herself as she cooked...whatever the fuck school lunches were supposed to be. Ember tried to crouch near the wall and sneak into the kitchen. If she was lucky, she could grab the salt and dash without any confrontation...but she had no suck luck.

The humming stopped, and Lunch Lady said, "What are you doing outside of class?"

Ember closed her eyes and silently muttered a few curses before standing up in front of Lunch Lady with a smile. "Sorry. I just wanted to grab some salt...for a lab experiment."

"Salt? We have salt," Lunch Lady said sweetly.

"Great! I'd love some, please."

Lunch Lady grabbed a salt container, and Ember reached out for it eagerly, but the woman held it back with a frown. "If it's for a science class, why were you trying to sneak past me?"

"Me? Sneaking? I would never," Ember said, her smile straining. "I just thought it would be quicker...you know...so I don't waste any class time."

"Of course your teachers wouldn't want you to waste class time. That's why they're supposed to bring their own materials for experiments. I talked to them about that last year."

Ember winced. "They...forgot?" When Lunch Lady seemed unconvinced, Ember brought her hands together in a pleading gesture and said, "Please, I just want some salt. It won't even be long. I'll give it back."

Lunch Lady narrowed her eyes, like she was considering Ember's words. "Salt is a very important part of food, you know. Salt and meat."

Ember quirked an eyebrow. "I thought too much salt is a bad thing. Same with too much fatty meat."

She probably should have kept quiet. Lunch Lady's expression turned into a scowl, and she all but screeched, "Are you questioning my nutritional knowledge?"

Ember had met ghosts, but somehow, this lunch lady was more terrifying. Ember faltered and stammered, "Um, uh..."

She was saved by the large dirt explosion outside. Lunch Lady jumped and leaned forward, trying to look out the window with wide eyes. The salt container in her hand was in reach.

Ember snatched the salt from her and darted. Lunch Lady yelled at her, but Ember was already running away...toward the explosion she heard come from the track field outside. Somehow, she had a feeling that had something to do with Danny and that other ghost.

She emerged outdoors, and sure enough, Danny lay in a crater in the ground, looking worse for wear. Then Ember looked up at the enemy ghost and did a double take. Walker's body must have been left back inside the school, because the ghost wasn't possessing him anymore, which meant she could see his true, ghostly form.

Being near him set her hairs on edge and filled her with dull dread. He was glowing. His edges were blurry, like an old photograph. His skin was bright green and translucent, showing his skull underneath. He wore a suit that looked like it should have been black but was bleached white, and white sunglasses covered his eyes, although Ember had a feeling they were the same red shade that possessed-Walker had.

The ghost hovered over Danny's bruised form. Danny weakly pushed himself on his elbows, wincing all the way, and said, "Can't we talk about this, Operative?"

The ghost, Operative, retorted, "Sure, once you're in jail."

He aimed a hand at Danny, and Ember could tell he was about to attack. She ran toward him, shouted, "Hey! Want some salt with that?" and swung the salt at him.

Operative flinched--then blinked when the salt went through him without any effect. Ember faltered. "So...salt doesn't work."

"Salt?" Operative smirked. "I've heard about that. It has to be blessed to work against ghosts. And it must be pure salt, not table salt."

"Well, fuck," Ember muttered.

She shrieked and ducked out of the way as Operative ghost-blasted the spot where she stood. While she hit the grass, the ghost turned back to Danny and held him up by the neck. Danny was too weak to even struggle in his grip.

Just as Ember was beginning to lose hope, she saw Sidney enter her field of vision. Ember scrambled to her feet and joined him in running toward the ghost. "What did you get?" she asked.

Sidney, poor non-athletic nerd that he was, was panting too much from the process of sprinting as fast as he could to really talk, but he didn't need to. He stopped a short distance away from Operative and held up the object he brought for everyone to see: a reflective silver mirror.

Operative turned his head away from Danny for a moment to look at the mirror. "What is that? Do you want me to see my reflection?"

Ember was wondering about his plan, too. A mirror didn't sound very useful against ghosts. Even Sidney looked uncertain of himself, his knees knocking together in terror.

To his credit, he bravely ignored his fear and ran screaming at the ghost, swinging his mirror right down at him. She thought she saw the ghost's eyes widen at the last moment before he disappeared right into the mirror, somehow sucked up by the silver. Danny fell on his butt as Operative was gone.

Ember picked up her jaw and asked, "What was that?!"

"I have no idea," Sidney admitted, still wide-eyed from the fact his plan worked. "I just remembered hearing some stories about silver working against werewolves and vampires and guessed it must do something about ghosts, too."

"That was brilliant," Danny said, smiling from his spot on the ground. He was bruised all over and had second degree burns on his palms, but other than that, he seemed fine.

Now that the big scary ghost was gone and Ember's heartbeat was settling, she crossed her arms at Danny and said, "You didn't answer my question from earlier. Danny Phantom?"

"Right," Danny said, reaching to rub his neck then stopping when that made him wince. "Ghosts don't usually use each others' real names. It's...personal, I guess. So everyone goes by a nickname."

"That's why you don't like us calling you Daniel Fenton," Ember said, remembering the way he flinched when he got called that in the graveyard and at Sidney's--the same way he flinched just now as she said that.

"Yeah," he said. "That ghost we just fought, Operative...well, he's lucky because no one even knows his real name. He worked with the government back when he was alive. Everyone just calls him by his title--or the Guy in White."

"That makes sense, considering how blindingly white his suit was."

Sidney suddenly yelped, and Ember turned toward him to see that he had dropped his mirror onto the ground. She looked down at it and understood why. A swirling fog appeared on its surface before it morphed into the Guy in White's face.

She jumped when the ghost brought a fist forward and at pounded at the mirror's surface--but the mirror didn't even vibrate, much less fracture. He continued to pound uselessly and growled, "You can't keep me in this relic forever. Just as you can't escape your punishment. You're upsetting the balance between life and death. You--"

Sidney crouched and flipped the mirror over so that its reflective surface was lying face down against the dirt. The Guy in White's voice was muffled.

Danny crawled to them and struggled to push himself up. Ember went to his side and helped him stand, and as soon as he did, she recoiled and asked, "Where did your bruises go?"

Most of them were gone, and she watched as the ones that did remain seemed to glow green before fading away. Ember stepped away from him, and he stayed stable on his feet. "Healing," he said. "Injuries aren't permanent to ghosts. I guess I kept that part of me when I got resurrected."

"You brought yourself back from the dead," Sidney said. Ember turned to him and saw him staring at the mirror he had just flipped over. "That ghost mentioned something about balance."

"Dude, the Guy in White is just ghost Walker," Ember said. "He probably comes up with any lame excuse to jail people."

"But maybe he has a point," Sidney argued, glaring at Ember--and at Danny. "What makes you special enough to get ressurected? Why not everyone else who died--like my parents?"

"Sid--"

"No, he's right," Danny said. He hung his head guiltily, gazing down at his hands. The burns on his palms seemed to take longer to heal. "This was a mistake. I thought I could get my parents' invention to work--and I did--but I didn't think about the consequences. Maybe they gave up on it for a reason."

Ember tilted her head. "So...what? You kill yourself again?"

Danny bit his lip and shrugged. "I...I don't know."

Ember glanced between him and Sidney, who was shuffling in place uncomfortably. She thinned her lips and stood straight. "Well, I'm not letting you do that," she said to Danny. "I don't care if you were dead before. You're alive now."

"Technically, I'm only half alive," Danny mumbled. "I still have some ghostly attributes, but..." He glanced uncertainly at Sidney.

Sidney fidgeted, then crossed his arms and sighed. "I guess...if you're human now...there's no point in going against that. You may as well enjoy your time back. I'll accept that. No need to kill yourself."

Danny's shoulders relaxed. Sidney still had his arms crossed, but he didn't look as angry anymore. The muffled voice of the Guy in White still came from the upside-down mirror on the ground.

Ember prodded the mirror with her foot. "So, what do we do with him?"

"Break the mirror?" Sidney suggested.

"No," Danny said. "Who knows if that would get rid of him. It might just release him again."

"I still don't get how he even got here," Sidney said.

Danny shrugged. "A portal? Though, it seems a little convenient that a natural portal would open up right after I got revived..."

"Or maybe he followed you back to the human world," Ember said.

"But he's not alive..." Danny's eyes widened. "Unless--"

He grabbed the mirror off the ground and began to run.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sidney shouted.

Danny turned back to face them. "My revival must have opened a permanent portal," he told them. "I'm going to send Operative back to the Ghost Zone, and I'm going to see my parents."

"A portal? But where?"

Danny met Ember's eyes, and he knew the same thought went through their heads. "My grave," he said. Then he turned around and kept running.

Sidney and Ember glanced at each other in bewilderment. Then Ember shouted, "Wait up!" and ran after Danny.

"Wait! But what about school!" Sidney shouted.

Fuck school, Ember thought. Ghosts, zombies, portals--ever since Danny entered her life, her days became exciting, and there was no way she was missing any second of this.

#phic phight #danny phantom #species swap #au #fic #fanfiction #writing #mine #danny fenton #sidney poindexter #ember mclain

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lazyfox411 · 5 years

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Zombie on the Doorstep

Requested by anon, from an ask meme! Fandom is rvb and it’s tuckington, since you let me choose and i am trash lol. Sort of a modern au, Wash showing up on Tucker’s doorstep with a broken leg and covered in little cuts. Thanks so much for sending in a prompt, I really appreciate it! So sorry it’s taken so long to get out, I’ve had a very busy time having to move out of my dorm because of these coronavirus precautions. If anyone else would like to send in a prompt, feel free!

Length: 1623 words

There’s absolutely nothing on TV.

Tucker sighs, face half smushed into a couch cushion, arm extended to point the remote, and flicks through the channels one last time. Infomercials, the news, a documentary about gazelles or something, and a dumb zombie movie he’s seen about a thousand times. He settles on the zombies and ambles to the fridge for another beer.

Spending Friday night by yourself, he decides, is the fucking worst. Ever since moving to this godawful town, leaving his friends behind and working a dumb nine to five office job, he’s felt like all the life is sucked out of the world. But he didn’t do this for him. This neighborhood is safer, schools here are way better, more expensive, but better, and Junior has made new friends and is happier than he’s ever been.

Okay, so maybe not all the life has been sucked out, Tucker thinks, smiling at the family photos hung on the wall. Junior isn’t here tonight, though, he’s having a sleepover at his new friend’s house, and so Tucker is all alone, with nothing but a shitty beer and a shitty zombie movie to keep him company. He sighs again and turns the volume up, bright screen flashing around the dark living room.

About halfway through the movie, Tucker is bored out of his mind and also debating whether or not to leave the comfort of the couch for a snack. Before he can choose, there’s a knock at the door, or at least something that sounds like a knock. It’s faint and uneven and makes Tucker wonder if it was just the wind, but no, there’s definitely a shadow swaying in the window.

He slowly makes his way to door, a little voice in the back of his skull telling him to grab something to use as a weapon in case it’s a zombie.

What the hell? he asks himself. Get ahold of yourself, man, it’s a movie.

Still. He picks up his empty beer bottle. Grips the neck firmly. Just in case. He is a grown ass man and he is not afraid of zombies, he’s just. Being prepared, is all. He can’t believe he’s letting the dumb zombie movie get into his head.

The man behind the door, though he could be mistaken for someone doing his best impression of one, is not a zombie. Tucker blinks in surprise. “Wash?”

Wash is the only person in this town who hasn’t treated Tucker like a shitty outsider since moving here. It may have something to do with people treating Wash like he is also a shitty outsider. Either way, Wash is about the only person even coming close to the friend territory for Tucker. He is also the last person Tucker expected to find on his doorstep.

Wash staggers forward and makes a strained sort of moaning sound, and Tucker momentarily reconsiders the zombie theory until he gets a good look at Wash, leaning heavily against the doorframe, breathing hard, and bleeding from a gash on his forehead. He’s not the risen undead, he’s just hurt. Pretty badly.

“Jesus, Wash,” Tucker moves to support him and gently lead him inside, out of the cold. “What the hell happened, man? Are you okay?”

He’s obviously very much not okay, but after Tucker gets him seated on the couch and he takes a few deep breaths, some of the colour returns to his face.

“I kind of, um…crashed my car.” Wash rubs a hand sheepishly along the back of his neck, a nervous habit Tucker’s noticed in just the short time they’ve known each other. With the other hand, he gestures outside, though the still-open door.

Tucker looks, and, sure enough, sees Wash’s little grey sedan a little farther down the road, rendered useless with its hood bent around a tree. There is a nasty curve in the road right there, and with the strong wind that makes it hard to even pull the door closed, it isn’t difficult to imagine what happened.

Wash is apologizing, talking too fast and moving his hands, embarrassed, saying, “I just knew that you lived here from that one time I dropped you off and I’m really sorry to bother you but I was just hoping that maybe I could borrow your phone because mine sort of got broken and I just need to call a tow truck and then I’ll be out of your hair—”

“Tow truck?” Tucker stares at Wash incredulously, who is still bleeding from a thousand tiny cuts on his face and is avoiding putting any weight on his visibly swollen left leg. “Tow truck?” he repeats, “are you out of your mind? Wash, you need an ambulance.”

“No!” Wash jumps up to put himself between Tucker and his cell phone sitting on the coffee table. He lands on his bad leg and nearly crumples to the floor.

Even as Tucker helps him back onto the couch, Wash is adamant. “No ambulances. I’m not going to the hospital.”

“Well you’re sure as hell not leaving this house, then, because I know for a fact you aren’t going to look after yourself.”

Wash sighs and crosses his arms. Then he winces and uncrosses them

“You can stay here tonight,” Tucker offers, because he is just a nice person like that and definitely not because of the strange feeling in his gut that says he doesn’t want Wash to leave. For sure, it’s because he’s nice, and not that feeling, at all whatsoever. “Don’t worry about the car, we can deal with that tomorrow.”

Wash looks up at him, dumbfounded. “A-Are you sure? You don’t have to do that, Tucker, really, I’m okay. I don’t want to impose.”

I’m okay is possibly the most blatant lie Tucker’s ever heard in his entire life, but he doesn’t call Wash out on it. Instead, he says, “Dude, don’t use big words, I don’t know what they mean.”

Wash opens his mouth, probably to argue that impose is actually a relatively small word, but Tucker is leaving the room. He returns moments later with a first aid kit and a couple ice packs.

Wash tries to protest at that, too, insisting he’s fine.

“Shut up,” Tucker tells him, “I’m a doctor.”

Tucker is most definitely not a doctor, and Wash knows this, but it amuses him enough to listen and shut his mouth. He audibly holds back a groan as Tucker lifts his leg to prop it up on a throw pillow.

“I know, I know,” Tucker says, surprising even himself with how gentle that sounded. He quickly changes tone to, “But you’re supposed to elevate it so it doesn’t get all, like, swollen and shit.”

“You don’t sound like a doctor,” Wash informs him.

“Well, I don’t normally do broken bones. I specialize in love,” Tucker says, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly. That earns an eyeroll and a soft smile from Wash, so he counts it as a win.

He pulls out some band-aids and little antiseptic wipe thingies (okay, yeah, he’s really not a doctor), and gets to work tending the cuts on Wash’s face. The car window must have been smashed. He tries his damnedest not to make awkward eye contact with Wash while staring at his face. Wash does his part by focusing on a very interesting thread coming loose from the couch.

“There.” Tucker leans back and admires his handiwork, and gives Wash the ice packs to distribute them as he pleases. One goes to his leg, and the other, his ribs. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better,” Wash says sincerely. “Thank you Tucker.”

Tucker feels a lot more flustered than he thinks he should feel, and nods, speechless, before retreating to the kitchen.

He roots around the refrigerator for some leftover pizza. He doesn’t have a whole lot of food in the house right now, but it’s better than nothing. He can guess with a fair amount of certainty that Wash hasn’t eaten yet today. Plus, it will be a lot harder for Wash to say things to fluster him when his mouth his pull of pizza.

He snags some pain killers, too. Wash will be too proud to ask for them, but he’ll appreciate them, Tucker is sure.

It occurs to Tucker that maybe Wash is a little farther into friend territory than he thought, since Tucker knows all these things about him. He decides not to dwell on that idea right this second. Or any future seconds.

He returns, hands out the snacks and medicine, and makes himself comfortable next to Wash on the couch. Wash is lying down, tips of his hair brushing against Tucker’s thigh. It tickles, but he doesn’t mind. He reaches over the back of the couch and snags a blanket, pulling it over Wash. Wash freezes, mid-bite of pizza, but doesn’t say anything. Tucker grabs his own slice and turns his attention back to the TV, to the stupid movie.

Wash nitpicks, highlighting details that are left out, and unrealistic stunts the characters are pulling off, tentatively at first, and more enthusiastically when Tucker doesn’t discourage it. Tucker jumps at the jump scare, it is indeed called that for a reason, and he feels Wash chuckle. It’s a nice feeling, even though it’s at his expense, and he thinks maybe the movie isn’t so dumb after all.

By the time it’s over, Tucker doesn’t feel so lonely anymore. He looks down at Wash.

“That,” Wash blinks at the TV as the credits roll past, “that was the worst ending, ever. Of all time.”

Tucker smiles. Wash smiles back. Tucker has seen the movie a thousand times before and hated it, but this time, he thinks the ending seemed pretty good.

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humanmoodring-retired · 4 years

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A Spoonful of Poison Makes the Brains Go Down || Nadia? and Remmy

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Remmy and Lydia’s House PARTIES: @humanmoodring and @whatsin-yourhead SUMMARY: Before heading to Pat’s Place, Nadia needs to make sure that Remmy eats. Drug Manipulation TW

Tommy’s instructions had been pretty clear: Nadia was to poison one Remmington McAllister for blowing up a The Ring, which was apparently the monster fighting ring that Kaden had mentioned. Small fucking town. Now, as cute as she thought Remmy was, Nadia had no trouble at all poisoning them for the amount of money she was getting paid. There’d always be cute zombies out there. Maybe more than there should be, really. She walked up to the house, remembering it vividly from her stay there when she’d fallen out the window, and knocked on the door, the vial of infector mortis in her button up pocket.

Tonight was going to be good, Remmy had decided. No moping, no bad thoughts-- just them and Nadia and a room full of people. And fun. They could do this. It’d been a few weeks since the Ring had blown up, and nothing had happened. They were going to be fine. And it was time to get back to normal life. Or, as normal a life as they could have, being a zombie. When the knock on the door came, Remmy gave one last glance into the mirror-- they’d opted to go for a more casual look, but still nice. A good button up, a cardigan, some nice jeans. They’d even done up their hair. They pulled the door open to greet Nadia, smiling. “Hey! You made it!”

“I’d hope so. After all, this was my idea, cutie,” Nadia teased, looking forward to Remmy’s reaction. Teasing them was too damn fun, and it was a shame she wouldn’t be able to do it any more after all this, but this wasn’t on Nadia. She wasn’t the person that wanted Remmy dead. All she was doing was being the messenger. “So, they don’t open for a bit, and I can’t imagine you’re gonna like the taste of the fine Americana food they’re going to have, so if you want to grab something before we go, and then maybe we can go on a walk or a ride or something.” She glanced back at where her motorcycle was parked near the street. “Do you like motorcycles?”

Remmy would have blushed had they could’ve and they gave a sheepish smile, choking on their words for a moment. “It’s, I mean, like-- yeah. Of course! Yeah,” they stuttered, before stepping aside and motioning for her to come in. “Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah. A snack, I should-- definitely. Eat first, yeah. Uh, do you want a drink? I can get you something,” they offered, heading into the kitchen. They’d told Lydia about their date tonight and she’d let them have the house for the evening. “Motorcycles? Can’t um-- can’t say I’ve ever ridden on one, actually. They had weird little like...scooters that we got to ride around on at base camp, but that’s definitely not the same thing.”

Laughing, Nadia followed them into the house, at ease in the space and with the company. For all their undead might, Remmy, she was sure, was harmless. “Yeah, I’ll take a water, if that’s alright. Don’t want to get too boozy and then have to drive. Ever ridden a bike tipsy? Not fun, and even less so when you add a few hundred pounds and make it motorized.” Her first body, may it rot in peace, had survived only one drunk motorcycle accident before Nadia had said never again. She hadn’t made that mistake in this one. This one was far too important. She watched Remmy piddle around the kitchen. “Base camp? Like, military?”

Once in the kitchen, Remmy pulled down two glasses and filled them with water, setting one on the counter for Nadia before heading to the fridge to pull out their container of brain. Lydia always made sure there was a fresh one for them in the house, and they’d already diced this one up and spruced it to look a little less...brainy. They set it on the counter and looked up at Nadia. “I have, actually. Back in high school. We actually made games out of drink bike riding. There uh-- wasn’t a lot to do for fun in the small town I grew up in.” They propped the container open and scooped out a few pieces, before reaching across the counter for a treat and handing it to Moose. “Oh, uh, yeah. Military. I served for a while. Was recently discharged, though, for uh...medical reason.” Gave Nadia a shallow smile, hoping to breeze past the topic. “What kind of motorcycle do you have?”

Everything had to be calculated, Nadia decided as she watched Remmy pull the container of brains out of the fridge. She didn’t trust just poisoning the water, didn’t know if infector mortis had a particular flavor. She wasn’t a poisoner; she was a thief, a con artist, occasionally a demolitions expert, but she didn’t really poison people. Whatever. “That sounds like teenage shenanigans anywhere, not just a small town.” She brushed her hand against the pocket, maneuvered the vial out, and reached to scratch her shoulder, the tiny vial hidden in her palm. “I grew up in a city, and, uh, we still pulled that shit pretty often.” The second Remmy turned to give the dog a treat, Nadia reached to grab her water and poured the contents of the vial in the brain mixture. But… not all of it. A part of her head told her hand that there was plenty of the poison in the food even with the vial not completely emptied, and she decided to go with it. “Ah, cool.” Didn’t seem like something to talk about, then. She leaned back, glass in hand, and took a sip of water. She should’ve asked for alcohol, since she wouldn’t be drinking at Pat’s, but she perked up at the mention of her bike. “It’s a Harley. Street Bob, so a bit sleeker than some models. Wicked cool, wicked fast.” She grinned. “And I’m a great driver, so it’s a guaranteed good time.”

“I guess that’s true,” Remmy noted, trying to think back to the other shitty things they did as a teenager and finding themself unexcited about the memories. They stopped the thoughts and turned to look Nadia again, none the wiser as they plucked up a piece of brain with a fork to eat. “Guess all teenagers are just the same, really,” they said idly, before giving Nadia a smile. She seemed excited to talk about her motorcycle, and while Remmy didn’t care for them either way, it was always nice watching people get excited about something. They liked it when they could let people do that. “Well, I really don’t know much about them, but that sounds super cool. I do know Harley’s are like super popular motorcycles. They’re the really loud ones, right?” they asked, trying to make sure their interest seemed genuine-- because it was. “And hey, well-- it sounds like a lot of fun. Why not try it, right?”

“I like to think so. What’s that song? Nadia thought on it a moment as she made sure Remmy was eating. “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, or something? I think that’s universal.” She wondered how long it would take for the poison to start reacting. Not for a while, maybe, hopefully. Probably once they got to the restaurant. It’d look suspicious, otherwise. “It can get pretty loud, yeah. I thought about getting something like a Ducati or Kawasaki, something quieter, but I’m a sucker for the classics.” She grinned, pleased with the way Remmy reacted to things. She thoroughly enjoyed their interactions. “I like your enthusiasm. Everything’s worth trying once, you know?”

Remmy chuckled, taking another few bites before closing up the container and setting it back in the fridge. “I dunno,” they said, looking back over at her, “I think they’re a lot less scary when you remember they’re just kids trying to explore the way they fit in with the world. It’s hard being so young and having all those conflicting responsibilities.” They used the water to wash down the rest of their snack before turning back to Nadia. “I don’t...know what either of those are, but I’ll trust your word that they’re quieter. Classics are classics for a reason, though, right? Cause they’re good and long lasting. Like classic rock, or old movies.” They pointed at her drink. “All done?”

“Astute observations,” Nadia said with a smile. She was always a bit surprised by how optimistic and open this zombie could be. Usually zombies and vampires seemed pretty broody and narcissistic, only worried about their souls and how they weren’t even alive. They didn’t care to see the fucking brightside to anything. At least they had their own bodies and didn’t have to go out searching for a new one. It always riled her up, but this one? She liked this one. She was kind of sad to see this one go. “I mean, anything that goes that fast is gonna be loud, but quieter is a subjective term. But, exactly. Classics are where it’s at. I love old shit like old cars and bikes and movies, especially westerns.” Fuck, she could talk about this all day, but they needed to get moving. She finished her drink. “All done. Let’s get this party started, huh, cutie?”

#chatzy: remmy mcallister #a spoonful of poison makes the brains go down #drug manipulation tw

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 5 years

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Moffat Dracula Review

Plot Summary For People Who Don’t Want To Watch It:

Dracula corners Jonathan, Mina, and Sister Agatha Van Helsing in a secluded convent in Budapest following Jonathan’s escape from his castle. The castle sequence itself is explained in flashback as Jonathan recounts his experience, leading up to the realization that he himself had died during his stay there.

Realizing he’s now become some form of undead creature, he attempts to kill himself via a stake but is unsuccessful. Despairing at this, he invites Dracula inside the convent in exchange for a true death. Agatha and Mina are able to stay safe within a circle of sacramental bread but everyone else is massacred.

When Mina sees Dracula disguised as Jonathan approaching them, she invites him inside the circle. He of course reveals his identity immediately after. Agatha bargains her own life for Mina’s, so Dracula allows the other girl to go free.

Some time later, Dracula sets sail for England aboard the Demeter, a Russian ship with a strangely high number of wealthy passengers and a bluebeard’s cabin no one is allowed to enter. He quickly picks off the passengers one by one, meanwhile himself leading the effort to find the murderer onboard.

This culminates in the remaining passengers finally searching the ship— and the mysterious cabin which is revealed to have been hiding a sickly Sister Agatha inside. She explains that Dracula is a vampire and together with the passengers they attempt to kill him by setting him on fire. But it is unsuccessful. Agatha urges everyone to escape on lifeboats because she intends to blow up the ship with her and Dracula in it before it is able to reach England.

Dracula does not die but remains dormant under water. He reaches Whitby roughly 100 years later and is immediately captured by the Jonathan Harker foundation, lead by Agatha’s descendant Dr Zoe Van Helsing. He leaves captivity fairly quickly however with the help of Frank Renfield— a lawyer he hired over skype.

Zoe is revealed to be dying of cancer. Dracula offers her his blood to heal her but it doesn’t seem to work. It instead gives her a bond to communicate with her dead ancestor Agatha, which gives her more insight about the vampire.

Meanwhile, Dracula begins preying on Lucy Westenra, a young socialite. Despite leading a seemingly perfect life, she is wholly apathetic and disgruntled with her situation. She allows him to feed on her in exchange for the high a vampire’s bite can give her. He attempts to turn her into a vampire but she’s burned horribly once she’s cremated following her funeral.

Her death leads Zoe and Jack Seward to where Dracula has been staying. During their confrontation however Lucy returns, and after learning about her appearance, begs Jack to kill her, which he does.

Zoe asks Jack to leave so she may speak to Dracula alone. She surmises that all of Dracula’s weaknesses are actually ineffective. The only thing he fears is death, and humanity’s willingness to die, She then... resolves to sit down and die right there. But at the last moment Dracula drinks her cancerous blood which should in turn kill him... they make out while dying... The end?

If that sounds like it makes no sense, it’s because it doesn’t.

Final Thoughts:

The plot was nonsensical and the pacing was very poor and completely unstructured. The story itself bore little to no resemblance to Dracula at all, to the point where I wonder why they even bothered to keep the names.

Most of the characters were new, and the few that were ported over from the Stoker novel had hardly anything in common with their original versions, Dracula included.

Jonathan was the most in character of the bunch, if he was fairly more genre savvy while stuck in Dracula’s castle. Mina’s characterization seemed to be confined to a single flirtatious letter, an endless well of trust for Jonathan, and constant sobbing. She was more of a liability than anything else.

Agatha served the role of a genderbent Van Helsing, though her manner was entirely lifted from the Coppola film. This could’ve been very cool if they hadn’t randomly made her a nun without actually committing to it at all. She was not really portrayed as having any actual lived experience as a nun in the victorian era. And faith as a concept was only touched on for her to dismiss— hilariously casually given her position.

I think the actress’s performance was fairly decent, and she def grew on me in the second episode when she’s not actually in a convent to constantly remind us how dissonant of a nun she is. But it would’ve been nice if they would’ve either committed to actually making her a nun, (a legit vampire hunting nun could be so cool!) or just abandoning the concept altogether. Because the way it was presented just felt like window dressing.

Also I’m not normally averse to shipping Van Helsing/Dracula but having to genderbend one of the two just to do it is like... hm. Also the weird tension they had going on was very badly executed in general.

Speaking of Dracula, he had to be the weakest part of the show. He was written in the smuggest, most infuriating way possible. And it might have worked with another actor but this dude just did not have any gravitas or stage presence whatsoever. And it certainly was not helped by the fact that his costuming and makeup were so fucking lackluster.

Despite being the linchpin of the story, he had no goals nor any particular drive. He was just out there doing Stuff for Reasons and none of them were compelling. It seemed like he was just killing to kill and the writing was not good enough to actually carry any of the vague themes about how he’s looking for new brides (why?) how he’s searching for a The Perfect Fruit (what???) or anything at all really. He had no depth whatsoever beneath his stupid quips and self-satisfied demeanor.

There was an interesting implication that he needed to choose who he drinks carefully in order to maintain his own personality/sanity/sentience and that without blood he’d… apparently just become like any of the zombies we saw in the show. And that is such a cool concept! But it was not really explored, nor was it written all that well. Even though it could’ve been (and I think was maybe intended to be???) an excellent source of existential dread!

But yes, in general there was hardly any depth to this show. They played almost every possible card they could for shock value, and included many unnecessary and frankly underwhelming esoteric concepts that went nowhere. There was so much gore and random effects. We had zombies, vampire infants, and Dracula legit wearing people’s skins. The lore didn’t make any sense either, apparently people just… being unable to die despite their body’s so called death is a common occurrence? It wasn’t clear whether Dracula even had much control over who he changes and whether or not they become proper vampires. The entire thing just seemed poorly thought out.

There were a lot of easter eggs and references to previous Dracula adaptations (and even some unrelated vampire media). I definitely noticed nods to the Hammer Horror movies and the Lugosi film, which was fun. The biggest noticeable influence however would have to be the 1992 Coppola movie. I have never seen a show try so hard to be another movie lmao. They even went so far as to make a spiritual successor to the film’s main theme that’s about as close as you could probably get without actually licensing the music.

However, while the Coppola film at least had skill with regards to the costuming and cinematography to carry its aesthetic, this show simply did not. The costumes, the makeup, and the special effects were all lackluster. The set was nice enough but was not shot in a way to really leave much of an impression.

The first episode was abysmal— mainly due to Dracula’s awful performance (those disgusting fungus covered fake nails, that age makeup, that ACCENT) and the entire awkward af scene where he terrorizes a convent of nuns while naked and covered in blood. But it was at least so bad it was funny.

The second episode was the most tedious to me because it was less offensively awful so I couldn’t even enjoy the badness. There was definitely a sharp uptick of quality whenever Dracula was offscreen for any notable amount of time though. The passengers were rather boring but I liked the crewmen. And Agatha honestly killed it for the latter half.

The last episode was by far the worst and yet the most entertaining because they just stopped trying at that point.

Renfield was amazing and an absolute delight every time he was on screen. Dracula found him over skype for God’s sake, how can that not be fantastic? He actually utters the words “Dracula has rights,” and his argument somehow actually fucking works.

And even Dracula himself was far less insufferable with the shift in dynamics. By being forced to cope with the modern world, he could no longer act like such a smarmy, self-assured know it all. Seeing him freak the fuck out at the sight of helicopters was genuinely fun.

Lucy’s handling was misogynistic af though. It was bafflingly, needlessly awful. And the way she was vilified at the very end was appalling. They almost had an interesting deconstruction wrt her utter malaise for her life, and the implication that she actually resents her beauty. But then of course she gets burned alive, and then is treated horribly for it by the protagonists.

Even though it’s clear she has no idea what’s happened to her body, Zoe doesn’t even bother to explain it to her. She just makes her take a selfie of all things so she can see what she really looks like. It didn’t seem like the show had a shred of sympathy for her, because “oh, clearly she was a narcissistic bitch and she deserved what she got” or something like that??

The utter indifference everyone has to her death is baffling. It was an afterthought, that seemed like its only purpose for existing was yet again just shock value. The scene, after her death, immediately shifting the focus back to whatever weird personal rivalry that borders on sexual tension Agatha/Zoe and Dracula have going on.

But all in all, this adaptation had me baffled, frustrated, and cringing through most of it. It was unintentionally funny quite often and I honestly enjoyed it, but for all the wrong reasons. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to melt their fucking brain.

#netflix dracula #netflix dracula spoilers #moffat dracula #bbc dracula #long post #I ramble sometimes #tldr: it was BAD #all the salt #this is 1800 words #*writer’s cap*

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jane-the-zombie · 4 years

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Beached Zombie || Morgan & Jane

TIMING: Present! PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems + @jane-the-zombie SUMMARY: “i just want you guys know Meri has spent at least half of this jane chatzy going ‘mOrGANN’” - Kat. OR Jane finds an undead body on the beach. Discoveries were made.

Morgan didn’t sleep. The heavy, cotton-covered oblivion she was used to falling into when she reached her lowest lows no longer came for her at night, no matter how still she lay or how long she kept her eyes shut against the dark. There was only so long she could try to make her dead chest match Deirdre’s breathing, only so many times she could lay down at the bottom of the pool and reach for that memory in Karen’s backyard of being still in a way that was okay. And the grass, sometimes, was too prickly--or at least, Morgan remembered the grass being prickly too well to rest in it. And so she would walk elsewhere, at night to pass the time, or the hours during the day that had to be marked somehow. So sometimes, Morgan went out. Sometimes just to the streets around Deirdre’s neighborhood. Today, the beach. With her body plastered to the cooling sand as evening came, and the tide barely kissing her at all as it withdrew. She remembered how she’d been held here the last time she’d visited: their first date to see the sunrise, and the stories she’d read aloud and the sand in her hair when they rolled to the ground kissing like they had just invented it. She remembered Galveston and the pungent smell of the salty sea, the brine on her skin. She’d fallen asleep like that so often, cradled and contentedly nowhere. If she was still enough for long enough, would she find her way back to that? Could something stick to her long enough to take her there, or somewhere else.

Morgan spotted a runner out of her dead, unblinking eye and thought about sighing as they came to a stop, looming over her. She waited, drooping inside with disappointment, and waited until their hand was hovering just over her body. “Boo!” She deadpanned.

Jane almost fell flat on her face when she saw the body during her evening run. She was too hungover for this. Days where she wasn’t working or practicing some “new extreme sport” were usually spent bar hopping and having fun that way. She was too old to bar hop - god she missed it when bartenders didn’t recognize all their customers. Really, she was missing not being in a small town. Portland was the farthest thing from the largest city in the world, but there were more things to do, at least. The only thing keeping her from trying to transfer again was the fact she just signed her lease and cases here were interesting. Jane almost felt a little bad lamenting her own situation while approaching a goddamn dead body. Clearly other people had it worse. Other people actually died when something happened to them. Jane cursed as she skidded to a stop near the body, quickly doing once over. Definitely dead, or close to it. Damn. She was going to be here all day processing the scene. Who dumped a fucking body on the beach? The woman didn't look like she had washed up. She had already sank to her knees, one hand reaching for her phone, the other going to check the pulse - “Boo.” Jane let out a noise somewhere between a shriek and a loud expletive, falling backward onto her ass. Her eyes narrowed. Her first thought went to public disturbance, but she wasn’t really in the mood to work in the first place. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Jane snapped. “Get up.”

Morgan stayed death still as the woman toppled. She was curious in some new, morbid way whether or not the woman would think she had imagined the whole thing. One of those ooo-woo coincidences/hallucinations/hypotheticals that just couldn’t be anything so stupid and sad as, woops this girl died but she’s still here and kinda broken. This bitter thought gave Morgan a new idea. She waited a few more moments, just in case doubt would set in, then she flopped up to a sit and reached out for the woman’s arm for an assist. As she staggered to her feet, pulling herself up, Morgan twisted as hard as she could until her shoulder came loose. It wasn’t hard. All she had to do was forget the shoulder was hers and forget the idea of hurt. There was a dull ache in the spot where the bones had come loose, she didn’t feel nothing, but if she were herself, if she were alive, she would have been screaming. “Oh, gee…” she deadpanned. “Ow.”

Despite herself, Jane reached to help the woman up. “Honestly, I was about four seconds away from calling in a dead - What are you doing?!” Jane’s voice raised in half panic and exasperation as she let the woman go. “Are you insane?!” There was a time when Jane dislocated her shoulder at a rock climbing gym, and even in all her adrenaline filled bullshit, that still hurt like hell and she had a half a fit about it while getting loaded into the ambulance. “Are you - Are you not in any pain?” Her face twisted in confusion, staring at the woman like she had three heads. The deadpanned ow… Was she on something? Drugs? No, she showed no signs of that. Her eyes narrowed and she had half a mind to twist her arm back herself. “We need to put your arm back.” Unless she was driving yet another person to the emergency room.

“What do you think I am?” Morgan asked. She shook her arm free of the woman’s grap and looked at it dangling from its socket. She poked it until it swung like a pendulum at her side. Her muscles strained at being pushed in this way and the ache was so close to sharp it was almost pleasant. Morgan approximated how her shoulder ought to belong and pulled it back in place, tested her work with a stretch, and waggled her fingers in front of the woman as if to prove everything was fine now. “Guess that's the problem solved,” she said, a forced hollow cheer in her voice. “Do you need something to feel good about this, or are we done here?”

There was a sort of morbid curiosity in watching the woman work her shoulder. Jane almost winced sympathetically, but the words what do you think I am were lodged directly in her brain. “What do I think you are?” Jane repeated, raising an eyebrow. Memories of Jason showing her how his bones didn’t break and how things like chopping off a wrist or two didn’t hurt. Actually, she was fairly certain Jason never felt pain - not really, anyhow. She was hesitant to bring that up though, until her shoulder was properly - oh. Jane was going to offer to set it herself. “Are we done here?” Jane repeated, pinching the bridge of her nose. “No, we’re not done here. First of all, do you think it’s funny laying there pretending to be dead? Because it isn’t. And second… Can I check your pulse, please?”

“Who says I was pretending?” Morgan replied darkly. “And who are you supposed to be, exactly? I’m pretty sure I don’t owe anything to some woman off the street. I didn’t ask for your help with anything. You interrupted my nap.” She grimaced at the thought. If only she could nap. If she could take a break from everything for even just an hour, no haze, no hunger, no death blanket. She deflated, tired, in her own way, and ready to be home. Whatever she had wanted to find here, it wasn’t going to turn up today. “And it was kind of funny,” she added sheepishly.

“What do you mean?” Jane said, quickly. Jason had insisted that he was dead even though she couldn’t really see how. He was a functioning human, and suddenly his diet made way more sense than it had during the time they had been together. “You were the one playing a bad joke, and I could very well -” What, arrest her? Public disturbance. Get a slap on the wrist and she’d be out by dinner time. That was an abuse of power and way too much fucking work though. And more importantly, Jane tilted her head slightly. “ - anyway. Are you dead, then? A zombie? Is that what you’re saying?”

“You’re avoiding my question, and I don’t think there’s anything against laying on the sand before dark,” Morgan said with a huff. She backed away from the woman, arms folded over her chest. “I’m--I’m a what now?” She laughed, shrill and nervous in a way that she really, really hoped sounded more incredulous. Ha-ha-ha-the-very-IDEA and l-o-l-that’s not REAL! “I’m sorry, what now? You--obviously watch way too many movies. Where would you even come up with something like that, huh?” It was a good thing, at least, that the dead didn’t sweat, because as she scrutinized the jogger, she couldn’t help but feel like she had pushed too hard to seem convincing now.

“Jane Wu. New in town. Police detective.” Jane said, folding her arms over her chest as she stared at Morgan as she started laughing that unconvincing laugh. The kind of laugh that screamed hahahaha I’m definitely not guilty!!! Don’t look at me!!! That kind of laugh. She was now more certain that she was right. That she just found someone else that wasn’t her shitty ex that was like this. Jane held up her hands, defensively. “Whoa, it’s alright, you can save the song and dance.” She reached up moving her hair to show the bite scar on her neck. “See? I’ve uh, met others like you. Clearly. That can do that thing with your arm. And I bet you have no pulse too. Am I correct?”

Oh, stars. A cop. Morgan grimaced and stepped further away again. This was the last person she needed looking into her life. Between the dead magic and living with Deirdre, and toppling into undeath thanks to her best friend, Morgan had plenty to hide. But that, as it turned out, was not her main concern. Jane moved back her hair and revealed a wide scar in the blurry shape of a mouth on her neck. Morgan’s facade fell and she slowly lifted the cuff on her wrist. Their scars weren’t the same, exactly, but there were mottled impressions of human-like teeth, the same hungry shape. “But you’re…” Acting pretty normal. Breathing. She grabbed Jane’s wrist and pressed down hard, searching for a pulse of her own. “A-are you breathing just for the fun of it or what? Are you--not dead yet? How do you know all this then?”

Jane curiously peered at Morgan’s wris. Sure enough, there was the bite mark scarred onto her skin. Jason’s had been on his leg. He never did tell her how he was turned or how he died. HE didn’t tell her a lot of things. Morgan snatched her wrist, pressing down hard on her wrist to find a pulse. “Ouch!” Jane hissed, trying to yank her hand back. “Hey, easy! Use my neck if you want to feel my pulse it’s easier. No, I’m not dead yet. The person that bit me didn’t mean too.” She said, backing up slightly. “He freaked out and told me about it. And showed me.” And then she dumped his ass for good, but that seemed a little too personal. “What’s your name? How long have you been… like this?”

Morgan let go and folded her arms again, guilty for real now. She hadn’t thought she was pressing hard enough to hurt, but there was a red mark on Jane’s skin where her thumb had been, and for all she knew it would be bruising up by the end of the day. “Didn’t--didn’t mean to? What do you mean he didn’t mean to? How do you ‘accidentally’ do this?” Even Remmy who ‘hadn’t meant to’ had still very much meant to. Teeth breaking skin was no joke on the effort-meter. “I’m...Morgan,” she said quietly. “Were you called onto the scene of that crash on Main Street? Some of the debris…” She touched her stomach, remembering the pain. “Someone was with me and they...did this.” She went stiff. Remmy wasn’t something she wanted to think about right now. “I’m sorry about your wrist. I don’t...feel right. I didn’t mean for it to hurt. I...couldn’t tell.”

Jane ran a hand down her face, shaking her head. “It’s - we were - he lost control, for a second, I guess. We were in a relationship.” Jane tried not to think about it, really, it was easier not too. Focusing on living forever and knowing that she could enjoy every ounce of the adrenaline without the fear of death was easier. She wanted that far more than she wanted to be bitter over some spilt relationship. She shook the thoughts off, listening to Morgan, and her heart sank. “No, I wasn’t called to that crash.” That awful crash on Main Street had turned Morgan into this at the last moment. Morgan wasn’t taking it well at all. Jane pressed her lips together in a thin line before waving it off her wrist. “Don’t worry about my wrist, I’ve certainly had worse. You… don’t sound happy. I’m sorry that… this happened to you. If it wasn’t what you wanted.”

“You mean during sex,” Morgan said, her face falling. She hadn’t even thought about that. She’d been too depressed and afraid of Deirdre realizing how different she was to worry about sex. But if Deirdre did somehow want her still or if she did dig up the rest of herself and come back, there was going to be sex. Sex where she might somehow bite her, hurt her with something worse than a bruise that healed in a matter of hours. “Oh-my-god, he bit you during sex, didn’t he. Had he not eaten? Were you doing--I don’t know, other biting type things? Or--” Morgan stopped herself before she got carried away and covered her face, mortified. This was probably not something Jane wanted to talk about. She could only imagine how frightening it must have been. But-- “No,” she said, lowering her hands to look at Jane with disgust. “No I am not happy. And what do you mean ‘if’? Did your boyfriend not explain everything to you? Who would want this? No one should want this!”

“He didn’t exactly explain that bit, it’s a bit of a story,” Jane said, rubbing the spot on her neck. She didn’t get a chance to tell Morgan that everything had been fine until there was blood everywhere, but that was a whole long story. Jane hadn’t even been that bothered, other than trying to stop the bleeding. She’d been laughing at him because he was freaking out. But Morgan’s face turned to disgust, and she realized that she had said the wrong thing to Morgan. Crap. She held her hands up slightly, taking a step back to give her enough space. “He explained everything. I made him. Explain it to me, I mean,” Jane said. She needed to be careful not to upset Morgan - after all, she just died. And she clearly hadn’t wanted to become a zombie to begin with, nor did she have the time to process it like she did. “I’ve accepted what’s going to happen to me when I inevitably die. I -” Jane lowered her hands, cutting herself off with a slight shrug. “I’m going to live forever.”

Morgan stepped away from Jane. She didn’t know if she was insulted or outraged or afraid for her. It was the most feeling she’d had since she died and she didn’t know what to do with it. “I hope you dumped his ass because that is not what this is,” she said. “What, you think this is Twilight for the Walking Dead? This isn’t about forever, Jane. This is death! Have you seen a dead body? That is what we are! I hurt you, Jane, because I can’t feel anything! My death is so thick around me, it’s like I’m being smothered by a goddamn comforter. I can’t even find half the person I used to be right now and I haven’t slept since a fucking rod went through my abdomen and impaled me on the ground. Can you seriously tell me you’ve thought about what it might take to miss something that awful? You don’t know anything. I hope you’re a lot older than me when you do.” She turned away and started up the shore.

Jane wasn’t sure if she should follow Morgan, she seemed fairly angry about the whole thing. Understandable, because this wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t have the time to decide if that’s what she wanted. After a moment's hesitation, Jane followed up the shore. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That it happened to you.” That’s all there really was to say, though she was certain Morgan didn’t want to hear it. Most didn’t after something bad happened to them. “And you’re right to be angry. You should be. It’s just that I’ve - I’ve done my grieving over what’s to come. It’s been a while since this happened to me.” Hell, if living forever - being around to see how everything changed? That took sacrifice. And it was a sacrifice she was willing to make - well, it was a sacrifice she had no choice in making anymore. Why bother denying the inevitable? Jane patted her pockets for a second. “Hey, wait a second.” Jane asked, catching up. She found one of her cards, and held it out. “It’s my card. If you want to talk more about this... not on a beach after you’ve played a prank on me. Or anything else.”

Morgan stopped at Jane’s call and turned over her shoulder. She took the card and squeezed it between her fingers. She didn’t know if she wanted anything from her or if talking to someone who thought this was all somehow going to be okay would help her feel any better. But she could bring herself to turn the offer away. And-- “Okay, I know I just yelled, but what about the sex thing?” She mumbled, embarrassed at how callous the fixation sounded out loud. “Can we talk about that later too?”

She gave her card to a lot of people - particularly those she knew were going to need more help later. Victims of assault, robberies, etc… This was a little different, but Jane could at least recognize that someone was struggling. “It’s alright that you yelled,” Jane said, shrugging slightly as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. Her eyebrow furrowed slightly. Sex? She wanted to talk about sex? Like in general or to her specific incident. Dear lord. “I - Yes. Of course we can talk about the sex thing,” Jane said carefully. “Contact me any time, I always have my phone on me and I’ll always make time.” She paused for a moment, before adding.” And for the record, I did. Break up with him.”

#para #para morgan #morgan #Beached Zombie #wickedswriting

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