#phil just doesn’t know why and decides that it’s just something funny going on

[cchapsticck]

A couple things: 

The first album he ever owned that he got to choose on his own was Master of Reality when Wayne handed him 5 bucks at the used record store after he picked him up from foster. And he’s pretty sure Children of the Grave changed his brain chemistry. Like something in him got hard re-wired and soldered in place. Like there’s no unfixing that fix.

The first song he ever learned to play on Wayne’s old beater acoustic was Here Comes The Sun, but if anyone asks he says it was Smoke on the Water, which was actually second but the truth is possibly humiliating, considering his curated reputation.

He cannot read music. Which is funny, considering he’s had a “band” since 7th grade. He just kind of picks at shit by ear. Which he’s pretty good at, thank you very much. It's why he likes shit with solos, he can pick out a riff better than he can pick out a chord progression.

Said band did not lock down members with any kind of permanence until 10th and no one had any kind of electrified instrument until 11th because Jeff and Phil and Gareth might be better off than he is - drug money notwithstanding - but tuns out parents aren’t keen to just drop that kind of money so one’s kid can fuck around in another kid’s garage every couple weekends for that kind of price tag

Metal shows are few and far between in Roane County, considering all the ways it is. But the couple no-name bands that have breezed through town at the dive-iest of bars the county has to offer well - he doesn’t want to say, changed his life but - but he’s never been so glad to have been elbowed in the face because everyone’s having a good fucking time and without the accompanying “faggot” attached to the act, which he’s had a repeat performance of just. Generally. In his life outside of the shittest bars in Indiana.  

He’s not saying Zepplin II made him gay but Robert Plant’s face pasted onto that German soldier’s body made him feel some kind of way at a formative age and that’s maybe just something he’s going to take to the grave even if apparently the shittiest of shitheads just decided that was a true thing about him on their own.

Steve Harrington has been hot since, like, junior high. Which is horseshit. Because like, first of all. He sucks. Like, he’s a douche. But Barb Holland died and he ended up in the hospital because apparently those two things are related events and rumor has it he got kicked out of his house and he shaved his head about it and there are a shocking number of scars hidden under that disco hair and that, unfortunately, does not make him less hot or less of a douche. 

Another thing: Dustin Henderson is fucking annoying. Like annoying in the unremarkable way all nerds are annoying that he’s a little dead to (like sometimes he catches himself mid-tirade and thinks ‘damn, I’d kick my ass too’) so he gets it but also. He’s fucking annoying. He’s fucking annoying about Steve Harrington in particular which like. Hilarious. Go figure. 

And he’s got a lot of annoying ammunition in that particular annoying gun, because apparently Harrington’s been living in his basement. So the kicked out thing is probably true. A lot of what he’s got to say is anecdotal. Lives in the basement. Pays rent. Makes dinner for Henderson’s mom. Drives him to school. Owns a bat with nails in it? Which. Alright? That makes about as much sense as anything else going on. The weirdly dense law enforcement presence in the wake of the Holland murder (and those are feds, like, he knows cops, he grew up around a lot of cops - thanks Dad - these are not cops) and the ever evolving whatever-this-is of Steve Harrington which he is for sure paying a normal amount of attention to and not unloading his guts at Gareth and Jeff who for sure don’t want to kick his ass about it because are we all seeing this shit? It's been like 5 years of high school and this is a puzzle he is no closer to solving, as he is no closer to graduating. And it's not because he’s being a dipshit about Harrington’s gradual transformation no matter what Gareth keeps insisting. (he’s being a dipshit about graduating because he’s a dipshit - separate problem)

But like, something is for sure going on with Steve Harrington. And fuck him dead because he is desperate to pick it apart. It's got nothing to do with the horny goblin in his brain barking about the, shall we say, aesthetic realignment here (which maybe, like, is coming for the integrity of his own genre cred but like. Come on, man.) and it's got everything to do with someone like Steve Fucking Harrington willfully abdicating the throne to throw himself amongst the Maligned With Problems The World Will Make Your Fault. Like he had to have known the flavor of hell people like him and Hagan and every other one of those silver spoon fucks made of his life. And not just his, just like, anyone remotely adjacent in the social order. 

There’s this kind of unspoken truth at shows. Like metal, hardcore, whatever, any genre within a genre that fills up bars like this, like he’s pretty sure the punks even have this rule, this remains true: the more normal the guy looks the more fucked in the head he is. That guy is dangerous. That guy is working through some shit you cannot even begin to conceive of and this is only outlet he’s got. Like that guy will straight murder you if you come at him wrong in a pit and everyone knows it. You do not fuck with that guy. You do not make eye contact with that guy. So Steve Harrington in his tightass Levi’s and bright white fresh out the 3-pack t-shirt hugging the back wall of the Hideout on a Thursday night sure is a red flag. But red’s always been his favorite color, so-

So he buries his shoulder blades in the wall right next to him and hits him with a of all the gin joints and Steve just squints at him like he’s got no fucking clue what he’s talking about. Figures. Harrington always seemed like a philistine. Steve just runs his hand over his shaved short head, and Eddie swears he can hear the rasp of Steve’s palm over the noise of the bar. 

“You come here often?” And it's not not a come on and he’s a little prepared to get decked but it's also a genuine question. 

“It’s work.” Steve says, not unkindly but not really looking at him either. Like he’s not really interested in the conversation or Eddie at all.

“It’s work?”

And that gets Steve looking and he does not look impressed. It's cute. Which probably says more about Eddie’s ability to turn disdain into some semblance of private affection but we’re not going to unpack that bag we’re just going to throw the whole suitcase out. 

“Well, I can’t work the bar so I just pull people out of the pit. Work the door sometimes.” Steve says over the noise of the bar, by way of explanation.

“How about that?” he says with no small amount of genuine awe. “Mall work not cutting it for you, then?”

Steve just kind of one shoulder shrugs. Not cutting it in the sense that the mall like, fuckin’ burned down but. Y’know. Speaking in kind of a general hypothetical kind of way. Looking for a new career path kind of way. Less about the mall directly. Or at all. 

“Yes and no. I got punched less by skinheads at the mall.” and that almost sounds like a joke, like Harrington isn’t totally hating this conversation. Delightful. 

“And you’d willingly go into this line of work when Henderson says you can’t win a fight?” he says it like he means it, like he’s actually surprised. Because he is. Because getting laid out at a show is just some shit that happens sometimes. Assholes with something to prove, the wrong guy took an elbow at the wrong time, a drunk got in the pit and doesn’t know the difference between a good time and a fight, like, shit happens. 

Steve’s scrunched up face of repulsion and offense is additionally cute. 

“Yeah well, Henderson says a lot of shit about you too.” 

He may have been operating on the assumption that Steve actually had no idea who he was. And was just some weird guy who, for some reason, had a lot of personal information about him that was in no way reciprocated. Just kind of figured he would have been beneath Harrington’s notice in a big picture kind of way. 

Fuck you, Henderson, how dare you. 

“Only glowing reviews, I’m sure.”

“More or less.”

Alright he’ll take back point two, then. You’re on thin ice, Henderson. 

“Is that where the uh-” and he kind of gestures limply at the pit and then towards the thick, formerly stapled up scarring in Steve’s hairline. Like he’s come home from a show with a bloody nose or a black eye or two but nothing like that.

“No.”

It's the finality in his tone, when he says it that makes him suspect he’s fucked this up and the conversation is over.

And it is. 

So he hangs around the bar for the set and then he leaves and its not really all that interesting. 

But he thinks about that for a while, that something rattled Steve Harrington’s cage so hard he’s this now. Somewhere in the realm of quietly fucked up, and on the edges of good sensibility and good taste because its more comfortable out of a spotlight. Even if the dark on the edge of that pool of light is more than a little dangerous, but at least there’s a place to hide. 

And then Chrissy Cunningham dies on his ceiling and he has to keep hiding.  

[jinxquickfoot]

@badthingshappenbingo prompt: Hostage Situation

Find the fic on Ao3!

“Does anyone have eyes on the target?”

Clint rounds the corner of the abandoned office building, bow at the ready. “I’m catching up to her.”

Phil’s sigh over the comms is so loud he can practically see it. “Barton, you’re meant to be on lookout.”

“I am. I’m looking out for our target.” Clint peers past his arrow down the dark corridor. The path forward is suspiciously empty, even though he swears he saw his quarry take this route. He presses forward, poking his head into the various side rooms. There are no cornered weapons dealers to be found. Yet. “She’s good.”

“Yes, she is, which is why we sent the entire STRIKE team after her.”

“Funny, I’m not seeing any of the STRIKE guys in the right position.”

“You’re the one who’s not in position, Barton.” Phil’s voice is more exasperated than angry. “You know I went on the record saying you could learn to play ball, right?”

“Hey, I can play ball.” Clint finishes his search of the corridor and turns left into an equally empty set of side rooms. Huh. Mills is good. Very few people are able to vanish on him like this. Not to mention that she’s stayed off SHIELD’s radar almost as long as he had managed by now. Every day he’s grateful Phil gave him a shot (ha) to be here, but he’s not particularly keen on letting Mills break his record. “I’m about to catch the target SHIELD has been chasing for months. How’s that for playing ball?”

He’s been with SHIELD for just over a year now, and every single day has been a battle to prove he belongs here. Phil had plucked him out of Sing Sing after Clint had finally managed to put Jacque Duquesne in the ground, offering him a job instead of a life sentence. Clint still doesn’t entirely know why. He does know that he’s not going to blow the first chance someone’s given him at a halfway decent life.

“No,” he’d told Phil when he’d first offered him a position at SHIELD.

Phil gestured at the chains encircling his wrists and ankles. “You’d rather stay in prison forever?”

Clint shrugged, ignoring the way it made the metal constraining him clink. “Three square meals a day and a roof over my head? I’ve had worse.”

“I’m aware. Are you aware you could have better?”

“What you’re offering isn’t better.”

“What do you think I’m offering?”

“A chance to kill a lot more people in exchange for something you’re trying to pass off as freedom. I’m not doing it.”

Phil leaned back in the rigid visitor’s chair, his face unreadable. Clint wasn’t a fan of that. His people skills from a life bouncing around foster homes, the streets and a circus weren’t top-notch, but he’d like to think he’d know by now when someone was playing him. Emphasis on he’d like to. Duquesne had strung him along for far too many years before Clint put an arrow in his heart.

“If you joined SHIELD, you would be expected to kill when necessary,” Phil stated. “But only very specific targets.”

“Still targets.”

“You seem very adverse to killing for a man serving a life sentence for murder.”

“He deserved it.”

“Any regrets?”

Clint let his lips form a cold smile. “None. World’s better off without him.”

“And what if I could offer you not only a way out of this prison, but a chance at taking out more Duquesnes?”

“I’d still tell you no.”

“Explain that to me.”

“Because I don’t want to.”

He had expected Phil to leave after that. Instead, he seemed to have handed the man the exact answer he’d been looking for. “Good,” Phil had said shortly. “We try to avoid hiring the murderous type. I can’t promise you’ll never have to kill again, but I can promise that if you join us, you’ll have a chance to do good.”

Phil had looked him straight in the eye as he finished, “And despite what your rap sheet says, I think you’re the kind of person who wants to do good, Clint Barton.”

If only the rest of SHIELD had decided to believe in him as easily. Getting Mills in his clutches would be the feather in his cap that might finally get the STRIKE team to lay off him. Just because he didn’t go to their stupid academy, they assume he can’t be one of them. Phil’s done what he can to get them to back off, but Clint’s not going to hide behind his coattails forever. Phil gave him a chance. He’s not wasting it. 

There’s a rustle over the comms, as though Phil’s changing locations. His next words are a murmur. “You have nothing to prove, Clint. You became a SHIELD agent the moment you accepted my offer.”

The way Phil seems to read his mind sometimes is downright unsettling. Clint’s spent his life building masks that no one is supposed to see underneath. Then again, maybe no one’s really tried before. “That sentiment isn’t universal.”

“So not everyone has been entirely welcoming, given your past. We’re working on that. But you do have a place at SHIELD as long as you want one. Unless you start doing stupid shit like defying orders.”

“I like to think more in implied orders. Like ‘catch Mills’.”

“Your orders were to be on lookout. You want to prove yourself? Do it by showing Fury you’re a team player.”

“Sorry, Sir. Don’t really see myself as a part of a team anytime—”

He doesn’t hear her until the click of a safety is taken off a gun. Clint freezes, nocked arrow pointed uselessly at a cobweb-infested fax machine.

“Barton.” The worry in Phil’s steady voice wouldn’t be apparent to most people. Maybe that mind-reading thing goes two ways. “Barton, come in.”

“Put the bow down,” a female voice says behind him. “If you try pointing that arrow at me, I’ll shoot you. I’m fast enough to kill you first.”

“I believe you.” Still, Clint doesn’t move. Disobeying orders and bringing in a target single-handedly is hero stuff. Disobeying orders and getting shot for it is just embarrassing.

“Put it down,” Mills repeats slowly. “Last warning.”

“She’s there,” Phil surmises. Definitely worried. It’s almost nice. It’s been a long time since Clint can confidently say anyone has worried about him. “Stay where you are, stay alive. We’re coming to get you.”

Great, and now he’s the damsel in distress. As much as it soothes a long-buried ache knowing that Phil actually cares whether he makes it home or not, that does not extend to actually wanting to be rescued. Knowing it’s a stupid move, and deciding to do it anyway, Clint whips the bow around.

The gunshot is enough to deafen him as pain explodes in his left leg. He keeps his grip on his arrow though, he doesn’t need much to fire it into an enemy this close, it will be a matter of a second to pull it back and release—

Then he gets a good look at Mills for the first time.

Phil is demanding updates in his ear, but Clint’s frozen, unable to focus on anything but the round belly right in his face. There had been months of reconnaissance on Mills, and yet somehow all of SHIELD had failed to report that she was pregnant.

“Really?” The belly shifts and Clint’s view transforms into a gun barrel. There’s blood running down his leg, the wound hot and aching, but he’s still on his feet. Must just be a graze then. Small mercies. “You’d kill me for some minor weapons trading, but as soon as there’s a fetus in the picture you go soft?”

Clint finds his voice. “Minor weapons trading. That’s what you’re going with?” He lifts his eyes to her face. She’s all hard lines, worn down from exhaustion and stress, but still… prettier than her mug shots made her out to be. Not the right kinds of thoughts to be having when there’s still a gun directed at his forehead.

“Bow. Down.” Mills brandishes that gun, even as she makes sure to keep well out of Clint’s range. “Who the hell takes a bow and arrow into a shootout, anyways?”

“Me,” Clint answers, placing the bow and unused arrow on the floor. His quiver follows. “Clint Barton. Hawkeye. Nice to meet you.”

She’s thoroughly unimpressed. “Kick them away.”

Wincing, Clint boots his bow down the corridor. It won’t damage it, the weapon is built for battle, but it had been a gift from Phil for his one-year SHIELD anniversary. Clint’s not a fan of punting it like a soccer ball.

“Gun too,” Mills orders.

That goes with less remorse. The STRIKE team likes to rib him for how little Clint pulls his gun on missions, but their bullets aren’t multipurpose or reusable. There’s been many a shootout where Clint’s the last one with ammo, as long as he’s willing to retrieve the arrows during said shootout. Maybe he should invent one that comes back.

“Now the knives. Both of them.”

And maybe he should focus on the armed woman in front of him.

The blades are thrown away with more hesitation, first the one in his belt and then the one tucked into the compartment in his boot. He’s not the best at hand-to-hand combat and he isn’t given much opportunity to practice as SHIELD’s top sniper, but he can do some serious damage with a knife if the enemy is stupid enough to get close. So far, Mills definitely doesn’t fall into the stupid enemy category.

As soon as he’s disarmed she holds out her hand, snapping her fingers at him when he hesitates. “Comms.”

With a heavy sigh, Clint forks over his earpiece. He is never, ever going to hear the end of this. For all Phil’s words of always having a place at SHIELD, he can’t help but wonder if getting captured because he disobeyed his SO’s direct orders is grounds for dismissal. A streak of fear goes through him at the idea. Most SHIELD agents who get thrown out on their asses sign a ten-mile-long NDA and go and live a boring, middle-class life. Clint knows he hasn’t won enough of Fury’s trust to be offered that option. It’ll be back to Sing Sing, this time for good.

A year ago, the idea of that wouldn’t have bothered Clint so much. He’d picked enough fights when he’d first been arrested that the rest of the prison had learned to leave him alone. The shitty bed and food were still a step up from sleeping on the streets. And he didn’t have to watch over his shoulder every moment in case one of Duquesne’s lackeys decided to take the former crime lord’s place.

But now… he has his own apartment. It’s a shithole in Bed-Stuy, but it’s private and it’s his. For the first time, he’s using his skills to do good. He likes that. He likes that a lot.

And he has Phil. The first person in his entire life who had looked at him and seen something more than a circus brat with a knack for sticking arrows in people. He’s not entirely sure that relationship is going to last if Clint gets himself kicked out of SHIELD after Phil stuck his neck out for him.

Mills shoves the earpiece into place. “Who am I talking to?” She flicks her eyes up and down Clint as she says it, assessing him. “Well, Agent Coulson, how much is your man worth to you?”

Clint would like to believe that answer is at least enough to warrant a negotiation. He also knows he got himself into this and Phil will abide by SHIELD protocol until the end.

Something like surprise crosses Mills’s face. “Really? Didn’t think SHIELD would care.” She raises the gun so it’s pointed right between Clint’s eyes, but some of her attention is on Phil now. He could probably lunge forward and take it without getting shot a second time, wrest it from her hand and take her down. He could still salvage this.

He… doesn’t.

He can’t put a finger on why. He just knows that it’s the same instinct that aims his bow, whispering directions he can never quite explain but will always guide him to the bullseye.

Mills is demanding something about clearing the path and getting her a vehicle. Good luck. Phil might be able to pull enough strings to stop her from shooting Clint point-blank, but they’re not going to let her run. Not after what happened in Miami.

Phil must say as much, because Mills’s eyes narrow. “Fine.”

There’s a scattering of syllables from Phil’s end, too muted for Clint to make out from this far away. 

“No,” Mills snaps. “You can talk to him after you figure out how to get me what I want. If I see a single SHIELD agent in this building, I’ll kill him.” She flourishes the gun, indicating the office closest to them. “Get in.”

“You’re wasting time,” Clint tries. It’s the least he can do. “If you run, I won’t stop you. They’re not going to bargain for me.”

“That guy on your comms sounded like he would. Now get in the damn office and maybe I’ll let you patch up your leg.”

Right. He’s bleeding. Clint allows himself to peek at the injury. It’s hard to see through his pant leg, but he doesn’t think the graze is that deep. Still, blood loss is blood loss, and he needs to get pressure on it sooner rather than later. “Fine. Step into my office.”

He limps his way in, playing it up. He doesn’t really think Mills buys it, but he’ll take whatever advantage he can get until he can disarm her. If he wants to disarm her. That little voice is niggling at him, telling him there’s a better way here. No STRIKE team is invading the building, which means he’s at least important enough that the threat of his death is keeping them temporarily at bay. Emphasis on the temporarily. If there’s a way out of this that doesn’t end in bloodshed, he’s going to have to find it fast.

He props himself against the dusty desk, ripping away the bottom half of his ruined uniform pants to use as makeshift bandages. The wound probably needs stitches, but he doubts Mills is going to go needle-hunting on his request. “You should sit. I feel like I should be offering you my seat on a bus.”

She snorts, unimpressed. “Don’t do the I care about you act.”

“In training we call it the humanise the hostage act. Speaking of, I’m Clint.”

“You said. I don’t care.”

“Can I call you Laura?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m going to. Get used to it.”

Laura jerks the blinds down over the window, even though it would be a hell of a shot for a sniper to make given the angle of the other buildings. The one person who could pull it off is on the wrong side of the glass. It plunges them into semi-darkness, the cracks of sunlight through the closed blinds casting rows on the dust-laden carpet.

A heavy silence falls between them. The striped light casts Laura’s face in golden streaks, her grip on the gun not wavering. Not that that matters. Clint’s not going to take it from her. She’s going to put it down. He doesn’t know why he’s so sure. He just knows that, if he plays this exactly right, he can save a life today instead of ending one.

He likes that idea. Too much, maybe. It’s the kind of thought that gets agents in the field killed. 

It’s also the kind of thought that got Phil on his side.

“I’d hate working an office job,” he remarks, trailing a finger through the dust. “I think I actually have a desk somewhere at HQ. People keep sending paperwork there. Or so I’m told. I don’t do much paperwork.”

“I told you to cut that out.” She glances at the door, as though wondering if she can barricade it without lowering her gun. She seems to decide she can’t, because she goes with another tactic. “Take out your cuffs.” 

He’d seen this coming, but a part of him was still hoping Laura would skip the whole tie up the captive step. He doesn’t take his gaze off her as he pulls a zip tie from his belt and goes to place it around his wrists.

“No,” she stops him. “Tie yourself to the desk. And thread it between your wrists as well as around.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He does as he’s told, distantly wondering if he should be more on edge about the situation. He tells himself it’s because they both know that, if she shoots him, she’s as good as dead. She might be as good as dead anyway. Laura’s good, they wouldn’t have been chasing her for this long if she wasn’t, but there aren’t many people in the world who are able to get past SHIELD’s entire STRIKE team. He doubts she's the exception, pregnant or not. STRIKE do what they’re trained to do, and STRIKE are trained to shoot on sight.

He pulls the zip tie tight with his teeth, locking his wrists around the desk leg. He’s pretty sure he can get out of it—it’s doing so before Laura pulls the trigger that will be the trick. He can’t dodge bullets. Which leaves that talking option.“So, how far along are you? Seven months? Eight?”

She casts him a disparaging look. “Stop pretending to care about me. You don’t. Just like I don’t care if you’re breathing beyond keeping your friends off my back.”

Clint shifts, trying to get comfortable, grimacing when it pulls on his injured leg. “Well, I’m not seeing a TV in here. If you want any form of entertainment while we wait for either your car to show up or the cavalry to ride in, I’m it.”

“And what if I don’t find you entertaining?”

“Give me a chance. Circus audiences loved me.”

She gives him a look as though she’s not sure if he’s joking or crazy. It’s a common response whenever he utters the word circus.

“Please sit,” Clint tries. “I’m not going to try anything. I’m tied up, you have the gun. You’re making my feet ache just looking at you.”

“Stop—”

“Pretending to care, I know.”

She exhales, exhaustion starting to show through the cracks. “You could have just left me alone.”

“That’s not my call.”

Laura scrubs at her forehead. Definitely exhausted. Life on the run will do that to you. Clint’s well aware, and that was without a baby growing inside of him.

“Laura. Sit down. It’s okay.”

For a moment, he’s sure she’s going to snap at him again. Then, slowly, and never taking her eyes off Clint, she sinks to the floor. A sigh of relief leaves her as she sticks her feet out straight, the hand not holding the gun cradling her stomach. It’s kind of…

Don’t call the person holding you hostage cute, Barton, he can basically hear Phil scolding him. Ah futz, Phil. This is his mission too. He’s probably going to get into even more trouble for it going sideways than Clint. Clint will make it up to him later.

“So,” he breaks the silence. “What’s the plan? You have to know that car isn’t coming.”

“You’re not going to shut up, are you?”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“What if I shoot you again?”

“If STRIKE hears a gunshot, they’re coming in. But you know that.”

Sighing, Laura lays the gun aside. It’s still well within her reach, but at least it’s not pointed in his direction anymore. “You want to talk. Fine, we’ll talk.”

“Great. What’s your favorite color?”

She stares at him like he’s an idiot. Which… well, he’s zip-tied to a desk with his bow in a different room. Maybe that’s fair enough. “What?”

“I’m making conversation. Mine’s purple. Your turn to ask a question.”

“Sure. How did you find me?”

“That’s not how the game works.”

“I’m the one with the gun, and I say that’s exactly how it works. How did you find me? I’ve been so careful.”

Clint drops the joking tone. “I wouldn’t count what happened in Miami as careful.”

She glares at him. “You don’t know shit about Miami.”

Clint shrugs as much as he can with his wrists zip-tied. “I know fourteen people died.”

She transfers her gaze back to the door. No one is pounding on it with a battering ram yet. They’ve got time. “Fourteen,” she muses.

“You didn’t know?”

“Not the exact total, no. Honestly, it’s less than I feared.”

“Still fourteen people.”

Her expression hardens. “And as I said—you don’t know shit.”

“Tell me, then.”

Laura shakes her head. “No. I don’t snitch.”

“What if I promise not to tell?”

“Really? You’re the best SHIELD had to send after me?”

He gives her the crooked grin that gets him second dessert in the SHIELD cafeteria. “You haven’t shot me yet. I count that as success.”

“I have shot you.”

He checks his leg. “Hardly. Can’t even tell that’s a bullet wound.” There’s the ghost of an idea there that he tucks away for later. “Okay, so success is you not shooting me twice.” 

“Because I need you, idiot.”

“For now. But if you’re thinking about marching us outside with a gun to my head, you’re just going to get us both shot. Don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to avoid that.”

“What’s the alternative? Turn myself in?”

“\Surely that’s better than getting shot.”

Her hand flutters around her stomach. “I can’t get caught. I can’t.”

A distress leaks through the words that Clint knows all too well. It had been a long internal battle when he’d realized that killing someone as high-profile as Duquesne would propel him right to the top of SHIELD’s Most Wanted List. He’d spent multiple nights unable to sleep as he’d let any hope of a normal life slip away from him. Still, Duquesne had to go. Even if Clint had spent the rest of his life behind bars, it would have been a fair price for ridding the world of that monster.

“You don’t snitch, huh?” Clint tries to ignore the already growing ache in his shoulders, the burn in his thigh. “And is that because you care about someone, or because you’re scared of someone?”

Her expression hardens, but the way her hand tightens over her stomach gives her away.

“The father,” Clint guesses. “So is it the caring or the scaring option?”

Laura’s response is to point the gun in his face. “Shut up, or I’m going to drop you and take my chances sneaking out of here.”

“You have to know those chances are pretty much zero. You’re good enough to know that.”

She huffs. “Not good enough to not end up here in the first place, apparently.” The gun lowers a fraction as she surveys him, the door, the window. Clint’s all too familiar with the sensation of being cornered with no good options. “Damn. You lot are really going to shoot me, aren’t you?”

“Not if you—”

“Don’t say turn myself in. I already told you. I don’t snitch.”

“Because you think you’ll get hurt. We can stop that from happening. You’re not the first SHIELD agent who’s changed sides, you know.”

It’s a misstep. Her face hardens, her expression shuttering. “The only side I’m on is my own.” She pulls out Clint’s comm. “Agent Coulson. Are you listening?” 

Clint tries to keep his face neutral. SHIELD protocol for hostage situations is to keep yourself alive and then stay out of the way if rescue comes. Phil must be trying for a non-lethal route, but he doubts STRIKE is going to prioritize his safety when they get the order to storm the building. 

He doesn’t want to get shot. He doesn’t want to watch a woman and an unborn baby get shot either. And also… something else. That whisper in his ear, telling him to keep talking. To keep trying.

Laura listens for a long time, far longer than she listened to Clint. Phil’s got that knack. He’s been using it on Clint for the better part of the last year, slowly and patiently dismantling his walls to gain his trust. 

“Then get me a vehicle,” Laura says, and Clint’s not imagining the undertone of desperation in her voice. “I just want out.”

I just want out. Clint’s been there. Too many times. He’d spent years trying to get out from under Duquesne’s thumb, until he realized the only way to ever be free of him was to end his life. Duquesne had made him a weapon. Seemed only fair that was the weapon he should die by.

“No. You’re going to get me a vehicle,” Laura insists. “You’ll get your man back and you’ll never hear from me again.”

He knows Phil can’t agree to that. Which means that shootout is looking more and more likely unless Clint can get this talking thing to work. 

Phil speaks for a little longer before there’s a long pause, Laura seeming to consider something. “Fine,” she decides, then pulls the comm out of her ear. “He wants to talk to you. Try anything and I’ll shoot you in the other leg.”

“Noted. But, um…” Clint twists his wrists in the ties. “Gonna need some help.”

She spends a few moments weighing options, before placing the gun on the ground, well on the other side of the office before making her way over to him. Smart. Zip-tied or not, Clint would have found a way to take it.

There’s an odd moment of intimacy as she eases the comms into his ear. Her brown hair swings forward, brushing his cheek, her hands warm against his face. Then she’s gone, backing away across the room to scoop the gun up again.

"My plan to play ball seems to have backfired.”

“I noticed. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Clint swallows back the automatic I’m not. Even a year on, he has to remind himself that Phil asks that question out of concern, not reproach. “A graze to the leg, but nothing else. Don’t send in STRIKE yet.”

Laura is carefully watching every word, her eyes narrowing when he mentions keeping STRIKE at bay.

“I’m trying to hold them off but they want Mills off the streets. ”

More than they want to protect you, is left unsaid. “I got this.”

“Barton—”

“Phil. I got this. Just buy me as much time as you can.”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the comms. “Alright,” Phil says finally. “Do what you have to.”

“That’s enough.” Laura replaces the gun well out of reach, honest-to-god waddling across the room to yank the comms piece out of his ear.

“You’re not going to give birth in here, are you?” he asks. “You look like you’re going to pop any second.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m being charming.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.” She does immediately sit back down though, wincing as she does so. “And don’t even think about it.”

“Don’t think about what?”

“Using the baby as leverage. Tell me you’ll give him a good home or whatever if I give myself up. As if I’d believe that.”

“I wasn’t planning to. I did my time in foster homes. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” One of his legs is falling asleep, but he doesn’t want to spook Laura further by moving it. “So it’s a him.”

“Maybe.”

“You picked a name yet?”

“As if I’d tell you.”

Screw it, Clint’s not sitting here with dwindling blood circulation. As slowly as possible, he slides the offending leg out in front of him. Laura stiffens anyway, watching his every move. “What? I hate pins and needles.”

“Pins and needles.”

“Yeah, it's what happens when someone ties you to a desk. Hey, why do you think it’s called that? The feeling is more fuzzy than stabby.”

Laura is giving him that you idiot look again. “Are you actually a SHIELD agent?”

“Last time I checked.”

“You don’t act like one.”

“Is that an insult?”

“It’s an observation.”

“I’m new. Kind of.”

“From the circus.” She doesn’t sound like she believes that part.

“There was an extended gap between the circus and SHIELD.”

“Doing what? Birthday parties?”

So, she has a sense of humor. Good to know. “Criminal things.”

She huffs. “Don’t make shit up to relate to me.”

“I’m not. Scout’s honor.”

“You were a Scout?”

“Nope. Can tie really good knots, though.”

She eyes him, cautious. “SHIELD doesn’t hire criminals.”

He gestures at himself the best he can. “Meet the exception to the rule.”

“Why?”

Clint shrugs. “Got lucky. Met the right person.” 

“That guy on the comms. Coulson.” Laura settles against the back wall, contemplating. “How much authority does he have?”

“Not enough to call off the dogs if you march us out there. I already told you that’s not going to end well. But he will hear you out, if you can give us information about who you were working with.”

“I’d be signing my death warrant if I talked.”

“You’re signing your death warrant if you stay in here. Make a deal, Laura. We can protect you.”

“You really can’t.”

“Try us.”

She cups her belly with both hands. “I’m not falling for this act.”

“No act. Just trying to find the best outcome for everyone. My life is on the line too, remember.”

She weighs that. “You want me to trust the people who would let one of their own die?”

“If they think taking you down is going to save a lot of lives, then they have their orders.” Even as he says it, he feels a thread fraying in her story. He risks giving it a hefty tug. “You didn’t work Miami alone, did you?”

It’s so brief that Clint almost misses it. A flicker of emotion somewhere between regret and anger passes over Laura’s face, before it’s lost to the gloom of the abandoned office. “You don’t know anything about me. Stop guessing.”

Clint does exactly the opposite. “The kid’s father. He was involved. Much more than you were.”

“Guessing,” she fires back at him, but the way her hands clench gives her away.

He continues to tug on that thread. “You didn’t answer my caring or scaring question. Either he set you up, or you’re taking the fall to protect him.”

Laura’s fingernails bite deeper into her palms. “Does it matter?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“How you want this day to end.”

She doesn’t look at him. “And if I wanted it to end with me on a farm in the middle of nowhere where no one would ever find me? What would you say then?”

Clint shifts again, trying to renew the blood flow in his wrists this time. “That I know that feeling. I know that feeling extremely well.”

“Yeah?” she challenges him. “So why aren’t you in a farmhouse?”

He decides to tell the truth. “Because SHIELD’s keeping too close an eye on me to pull a runner. And because even if they weren’t, I like being here. I like helping people.”

“SHIELD doesn’t help people.”

“Some of us do.”

She laughs. It’s distractingly pretty. “God, you are such a man. Poor defenseless pregnant woman—she must need a savior.”

There’s something in that line he feels he can use. He prepares to dig. “Trust me, I see you as anything but defenseless.”

“Because I have the gun?”

“Because I’ve read your file. I’ve seen what you’ve done. Including shipping a lot of shoddy weapons through a Miami warehouse that detonated on arrival. The warehouse workers didn’t even know what they were handling.”

She coils tighter with every word. “It was an accident.”

He keeps digging. “I doubt that was much comfort to their families.” 

“Stop trying to play me. I see what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“Making me feel guilty so I surrender. This isn’t amateur hour.”

“No, it’s not.” He drives that shovel down, crossing his fingers that he’s about to hit gold. “And I can’t make you feel guilty. Because you didn’t do it.”

She tries to play it off, but the tightening in the back of her shoulders gives her away. “That’s not what your precious file on me says.”

“Because you made it look like you did it. To protect someone else.” Her eyes pinch. There’s that gold. “So it is scaring. Not caring.”

“Stop. Guessing.”

“Poor defenseless pregnant woman. Those are his words, aren’t they? He thought they’d go easier on you than him. He made you take the fall.”

“Guessing.”

“But I’m right. Aren’t I?”

She sweeps her eyes up and down him as though reappraising. “Maybe you are a real SHIELD agent.”

“So I am right.”

She refuses to confirm it. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m going down either way.”

“Not if you give him up. We can protect you.”

“As if I’d trust SHIELD with protecting my child.”

“Better us than no one.” He makes a show of leaning forward in earnest, even though it’s just to get him in a better position to slip the zip-ties if he needs to. He’s daring to hope that he won’t. “Tell us who he is. We’ll get him.”

“No. You won’t.”

“We will. Then at least that baby will have one parent around.”

“He’s not the father.” Laura still isn’t looking at him. “The father’s dead. It was a reminder of what happens when I don’t…” She breaks off, squeezing her eyes shut. “He controls my whole life. Everything. There isn’t a way out.”

“There is,” Clint says softly. “Because someone offered it to me. Because someone decided to look past what the damn SHIELD file said and treated me like a human being. Because someone offered me the chance to do some good with my life.”

He’s so close. He can feel it. And he knows exactly what words he needs to seal the deal. “And I think you’re the kind of person who wants to do good, Laura Mills.”

The sun is sinking outside the office window. His heart is pounding so loud that he’s surprised Laura can’t hear it. Then again, maybe she can. Maybe, for once, he can offer someone a happy ending instead of a grave.

He lets her break the silence first. “Did yours have a stupid villain name as well?”

“You bet. The Swordsman.”

Laura snorts. “Sword versus arrow? Wow.”

“Arrow won.”

She nods, her gaze distant. She hasn’t picked up the gun again. “Mine goes by Kingpin.”

Clint files that away. “We don’t have anyone by that name on SHIELD’s radar.”

“And he’s going to kill me for putting him on it. I can’t escape him.”

“I used to think the same thing. And now he’s gone. Want me to put an arrow in yours, too?”

“Can you?”

Clint considers that. He’d meant what he said when he’d told Phil a year ago that he wanted to be done with killing. And Phil had kept his end of the bargain by only sending Clint after the targets they couldn’t take down any other way.

“If you give me the information to find him, yes,” Clint states, and he means every word. “Give me the comms, Laura. Let me talk to Phil. We can walk out of here, work out how to take down Kingpin. And then get you that farmhouse.”

Even in the dimming sunlight, he spots her lips twitch. “Why do I believe you?”

“Because I’m telling the truth.”

He’s so close to ending this. He can feel it. Part of him can’t believe he’s gotten this far, it’s not like hostage negotiations have a reputation for going well, and he’s not about to flatter himself that it’s all skill on his part. No one can help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Phil had seen that in him. Now, Clint can only hope that he’ll see it again in Laura. He’s so close.

Which is of course when they hear the sound of the building being stormed.

Laura shoves the comms back in her ear, eyes flying wide. “Retreat,” she orders, pushing herself to her feet and grabbing the gun Clint had really hoped they were done with. “I will shoot him if you come in here, don’t you dare—”

The rest of her sentence is drowned out by the stampede of STRIKE boots running towards the door.

Clint doesn’t hesitate. He twists and pulls, ignoring the sharp pain in both wrists as the zip-tie stretches. It doesn’t snap, because when does his luck ever go that way, but it gives him enough room to get free and lunge across the room.

His hand grabs the gun before Laura can fire it. It’s only when it’s in his hands that he registers that she made no move to pull the trigger. 

She stares at him, breathless. “You could get free this whole time?”

He doesn’t get a chance to answer. He’s too busy shoving the gun’s magazine into his boot compartment, a split second before the door bursts open. 

“Don’t shoot!” He moves in front of her, heart racing as half a dozen guns focus on him instead. “She surrendered.”

All the STRIKE guys are wearing helmets, but Clint can tell the frontman is Rumlow from that stupid white X he insists on wearing on the front of his vest. And he thinks he has the grounds to mock Clint for the bow thing. “Our orders are to shoot on sight,” Rumlow snaps back. “And then rescue the princess from the tower if there’s time.”

Clint doesn’t move. “Well you were late, so I rescued myself. Don’t shoot the small fish, Rumlow. She’s going to help us get someone much bigger.”

“And that’s obviously a lie to buy herself some time. Now move before I—”

“Stand down, Rumlow. That’s an order.”

Then Clint is treated to the glorious sight of the STRIKE team parting like the Red Sea as Phil Coulson makes his way towards him. “Take Mills into custody,” Phil orders. “Gently.”

Clint doesn’t get to watch Laura be taken away. Phil blocks his line of sight, grabbing his arms and steering him away. “You good?”

“Peachy.”

“I couldn’t hold them off any longer. I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one who went off-book.”

“And I haven’t forgotten about it.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Will you, now?”

“Yep. Already got an idea and everything.”

Phil surveys the gun Clint’s still holding. “That hers?”

“Admissible evidence,” Clint says, a bit too quickly, ignoring how the magazine is biting into his ankle. He’ll have to find a way to dispose of it when no one’s watching. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

Phil reaches out to clap him on the shoulder. It feels solid. It feels like home. “Always.”

Walking into Sing Sing without handcuffs is surreal.

Clint takes the seat across from Laura in the tiny room, gesturing to the chair Laura’s perched on. “Uncomfortable, right? They do that on purpose.”

“No shit.” She shifts, sending the cuffs binding her to the table rattling. “And there I was thinking they would give the pregnant woman a break.”

“Thought we weren’t supposed to use the baby as leverage.”

“You’re not. I can milk it all I want.”

Sense of humor, Clint recalls, and has to fight back a smile. The red light of the camera in the corner refuses to let him forget he’s being watched. He only gets one shot at this. Lucky that he never misses his shots. “Well, I’m hoping things are about to get a lot more comfortable for you.”

Laura considers him, her expression careful. “Kingpin has people everywhere. No doubt in SHIELD as well.”

“Then we’ll find them.”

“Just like that?”

“If he’s as dangerous as you say he is. If he was the real cause behind what happened in Miami.”

That careful expression doesn’t shift. “Of course he was the real cause. I mean, I couldn’t even bear to bring a loaded gun to a hostage situation.” She looks pointedly down at his bandaged leg.

Clint matches her neutral tone. “Of course not. You were never actually going to shoot anyone. You were just desperate and scared.” He shifts his leg a little, feeling the stitches there pull. “Shame I tripped and cut myself chasing you.” 

“Of course.” Her lips twitch, just like they had back in the office building. Clint decides he likes it. “So. I help you with Kingpin. You put me and Cooper in witness protection. That’s the deal?”

“Cooper, huh? Nice name.”

“After his father. Although I guess I’ll have to change it in WITSEC. Kingpin knew that's what I wanted to name him.”

“WITSEC is one deal.” Clint leans forward over the table, exactly as Phil had a year ago. “I have a better one.”

“Farmhouse?”

“That might be on the cards. If you join us. We’re always looking for new talent.”

Laura blinks at him, and then bursts out laughing. It’s still one of the prettiest sounds Clint’s ever heard. “Me. A SHIELD agent.”

“The offer sounded just as ridiculous to me when I got it. Seems to be working out, though.” He slouches back in her chair, taking her in. He already knows he wants to have a conversation with her without a gun or handcuffs involved. Many, many more conversations. “Someone else will run you through the logistics. I just wanted to be the one who told you the news.”

She considers him. “You’re weird as hell, Clint Barton.”

“I know. You’ll get used to it.” The camera light blinks twice, signaling his time is up. “They’re pulling me out of here. Think the offer over?”

“I… might.”

She will. Clint’s suddenly sure of it. It makes him wonder if Phil had known he’d say yes, long before Clint himself had. “You never told me your favorite color.”

“Are you serious?”

“I want to know.”

She looks a step away from turning him down before she says, “Yellow. Like sunflowers.”

“Yellow like sunflowers.” Clint has a ridiculous urge to plant her a field full of them. There will be plenty of room at that farmhouse.

He meets Phil on the outside of the cell. “How did it feel being on the other side?” Phil asks.

“Not bad,” Clint admits. “Told you I’d make it up to you.”

“Information on a new crime lord isn’t bad compensation, I’ll admit.”

“I was talking about your newest SHIELD agent.”

Phil glances towards the closed door. “She didn’t say yes yet. Neither did I.”

“And yet you didn’t tell anyone about hearing gunshots over the comms after I told you Mills’s gun wasn’t loaded.”

Phil’s expression remains neutral. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not. Manhunts can be so chaotic.”

“I know. I chased you down for nearly a year. I have some chiropractor bills I should send you, I spent so long bent over your file.” Phil straightens up, his eyes still on Laura. “I have the paperwork ready. If she says yes. If she’s worth all this.”

Clint is only half-listening. His mind is on farmhouses and sunflowers and a beautiful laugh. “Trust me—she’s worth it.”

[apollos-boyfriend]

What kinda ultimates do you think the members of QSMP would have?

to absolutely No One’s surprise i have, in fact, thought about this extensively. so here are all the ones i’ve decided on

jaiden is, obviously, the ultimate animator. not only is it true to her, it Also matches up with sdr2’s backstory as to how despair spread (as stupid as i think that explanation was). if they’re in a simulation, it would make sense for a danganronpa au that they were put there for the same reason that the 77th class was to return them to their pre-remnant states. (additionally, i think the explanation for the new arrivals would be that the brazilians, french, etc weren’t captured with the original cast and found later, hence why they weren’t added in at the beginning)

roier calls himself the ultimate spider-man. no one knows his actual talent because he’s ADAMANT on that being it, but they’re pretty sure it’s something akin to ultimate traceur (parkourist) or ultimate stuntman/stunt double.

arin is the ultimate AI, kind of in the same sense of alter ego. except instead of inhabiting a computer, he’s taken residence in luzu

charlie is the ultimate gymnast OR ultimate acrobat. i’m leaning towards acrobat as to not have Too many titles match those of the actual games. inspired by him being el backflipo :]

i think it’d be funny if mariana was the ultimate superhero based on his skin alone. what does that title even mean? fuck if i know! but it’s funny

foolish is, ofc, the ultimate builder.

similarly obvious is phil being the ultimate survivalist

and wilbur being the ultimate musician

bad is currently the ultimate caretaker! i say currently because considering his backstory partially consists of killing thousands with cellbit in the hunger games, i think he originally had a much darker title. not ultimate assassin like maki necessarily, but something akin to it. unlike maki, his new title isn’t any sort of cover-up, and just genuinely what he’s turned to nowadays

i’m not too sure on fit yet, but i definitely want to make him something sports/body-building related because of his gym. maybe ultimate bodybuilder or coach? he’s in that field Somewhere

someone joked about ultimate yandere for forever and ADMITTEDLY i did toy with the idea. as funny as it is, i think he’d more accurately be the ultimate terraformer/landscaper, considering his past clearing of a mountain and current clearing of an entire desert. maybe ultimate yandere could be a secret title, like junko’s ultimate analyst or the ultimate hope title?

pac and mike definitely have matching ultimates in the science field somewhere, considering they’re currently building their laboratory/factory! i’m not sure what exactly yet tho, just that they’re somewhere around there

and lastly, cellbit is the ultimate cryptanalyst/code breaker! he’s individually devoted himself to any and all mysteries, but his biggest strength is by far code-breaking.

that’s all i got so far! i don’t know enough about the other members/don’t have enough to go off of to give them titles sadly :( additionally, rubius doesn’t get his own ultimate because he’s one of the “helpers” (like monokuma, monomi, the cubs, etc)

bonus: the eggs get their own ultimates too :] going off the lil ultimate system being strictly named after classes

tallulah is the lil ultimate music (based on her flute)

bobby is the lil ultimate art (based on his room being full of his + his family’s paintings)

dapper is the lil ultimate woodshop (based on his interest in create!)

richarlyson is the lil ultimate p.e. (based on him wearing a futebol jersey)

[twilightknight17]

The Promised Day – Part 1

This time on P3R, I went on vacation and ran my way all the way to the ending. I’ve definitely got some thoughts, but one thing at a time.

First of all, spent a lot of time in Tartarus and managed to get a lot of significant high-level personas. Including Helel, Messiah, and my dearest husband. XD

I will say, I think it’s a little more impactful the way the movie handles Messiah. Fusing him in the moment at the top of the tower to go after Nyx is better from a story perspective? Like how you summon Satanael against Yaldabaoth.

I genuinely thought Messiah was a NG+ persona, but no. You can just fuse him. At least it’s still Orpheus and Thanatos.

I guess Orpheus Telos is NG+.

Anyway, time is moving, I’m trying to finish as many social links as I can even if I won’t get them all, and Mitsuru is doing her best to sabotage that by dragging me away from them. She has something important to tell me, because I am the leader and I need to know things?

Oh. She’s finally telling me that Chidori is alive.

She also has no idea how to tell Junpei the truth.

Good thing Junpei just overhears and runs off for the hospital, saving both of us from having to explain. XDDD

Because Chidori has gone through significant trauma and also “given up” her persona abilities to Junpei (which I guess is similar to what Yukino does in P2), she no longer remembers the Dark Hour. But her memories have a chance to come back, because she’s been dreaming about Junpei.

The explanation they give for why she was able to heal is that she had put a lot of her healing powers into the flowers Junpei brought her, so when the doctor placed all those flowers around her body, the healing power… returned to her, and brought her back to life?

It’s wobbly, but I’ll accept it. And I suppose that means that the deciding factor is whether you buy the flowers from Rafflesia and give them to Junpei. Otherwise this whole bit doesn’t happen.

This bit needs to happen.

I finished Maya’s link, and that was cute. I’m very curious, though, because you can’t actually be in a relationship with Maya. That was interesting, since I’m pretty sure you can date all the other girls. I know Maya’s situation is different, but like, there could have been a way to do it.

I also finished Keisuke and Mamoru’s links, which were nice. And Akinari’s, which, uh… First of all, depressing as hell. Second of all, I think his ghost was the one I was talking to. Like. How.

Off to Tartarus, and there’s another cat up here. HOW did you get to floor 250-something, kitty?

No wonder you’re sad! You’re so high up!

Also this area is wild. I like it a lot.

Liz gave me a quest to kill the Reaper, so I camped out on a floor and waited for him to show up, and it turned into a whole thing. Po was on vacation with me and was baking a cake, so midway through the fight, I took over beating egg whites by hand (because who knows what happened to the mixer?), and Po took the controller and was following orders.

I ran out of homunculi, so Junpei and Akihiko eventually started dying EVERY time the Reaper used Mamudoon. So I just left them down and relied on Koromaru, who is immune. Until Koromaru got hit with a fear ailment and ran away instead of using the healing item.

Po’s reaction was funny, though. Just a confused, “Is he coming back?”

So then it was Minato alone, cycling through Megidolaon, Diarahan, and Debilitate. And I swear, we were like three hits from killing it when it got a lucky critical with brave blade, knocked Mina down, and killed him.

At least in that time, the egg whites were appropriately stiff peaks. X’’D

So I went downstairs, went to the Velvet Room, fused Lucifer, went back upstairs, and hit the Reaper in the face with Armageddon.

Po’s reaction to that was fun, too. Yes, surprise, you can kill anything but Liz in one hit. With no consequences. Unless you happen to run into Phil and he can murder you dead with Armageddon R. XDDDD

And then, it was time for the end. SEES has realized that if they defeat Nyx, they might forget everything, just like if they’d killed Ryoji. But they’re not worried.

We will meet the day of graduation on the roof of the school.

Let’s rock.

There are a few floors between us and the top, and Jin is waiting partway up, while Takaya has gone ahead.

Heights like 3 floors up?

Jin is tricky, but not bad. I did have to go downstairs and get Liz to heal me after his fight. He did some damage, for sure.

We’re not killing you, god damn it.

The defeated Jin has some more details that SEES didn’t know.

Mitsuru is horrified, but considering Ikutsuki, I’m really not surprised. He seems like the sort to do human experiments on children. But I do have to wonder if the antique store lady knew what was going on. Yukari’s dad? I’m assuming this was before the bridge, mostly.

Also, if they were yoinking orphans, why didn’t they grab the kid who literally had Death sealed in him? There’s a fic concept there. I just need to refine it.

Anyway, SEES refuses to kill Jin, shadows start spawning in, and Jin won’t come with them, either.

He blows himself up before they can kill him.

On floor 263, we find the last room before the roof, and it’s cool.

Takaya is here, and he’s fully in apocalypse prophet mode.

He’s also extremely dismissive of Mitsuru. Which… I get being pissed at the people who hurt you, but Mitsuru had nothing to do with any of that. She was like… eight.

Whatever, dude. We’re still not going to let the world end. Let’s go.

Takaya and Jin are both not good to use Armageddon on because they have forced dialogue. So you can’t womp them in one go. The dialogue is good stuff, though.

Takaya and Mina are great foils. The false messiah and the real one, standing against each other embodying the will to live and the desire to die.

Also Takaya has a move that steals all your MP, and his own theurgy. It’s awesome.

But eventually, he goes down, and he stays down.

Don’t worry, he’s just unconscious. He’ll be fine.

Assuming we don’t die.

One staircase left.

[bonesandthebees]

Anyway, I’ve talked a lot about Tommy without talking about Him, so let’s do that.

I was expecting Tubbo to be part of his group, but having him be there as just Tomys friend is so funny. It’s also adorable. (And it probably says a thing or two about how stubborn Tomys is, since he probably refused to go without him). Their dynamic very much gives “Your majesty, this is my emotional support best friend”.

Having Jack as a guard is giving me Stars flashbacks. Probably as intended. It’s funny that he is now Tomys guard instead of Wilbur’s. I was not expecting Puffy, but I probably should have. She’s there to make sure Tomys behaves, but she still has a lot of work to do about the etiquette. She also gives me the vibes of someone who deserves a raise.

Side note: did Niki or Quackity come with extra entourage? Like Niki was a baby, but Quackity was similar in age. Or is this unusual? (Also, I love the throne and crown, I’m sure that doesn’t have any ominous relation to certain tags on this fic)

Anyway, Tomys first impression reflects very badly on Sam. As we learn in chapter 3, everyone figures out why Tomys is there. And he’s clearly a bad first choice as a heir. (As in, if Sam were to die right now, Tomys would do terribly compared to Niki or Quackity).

He comes off as just a kid, which he is, but that’s not something you can be in this situation. None of the other kids got to have a normal childhood. On top of that Tomys is kinda a little brat, for a noble child at least, and not in the way those kids are normally brats.

But Sam seems rather fond of him. He’s very patient with him and all his blunders. I think he’s a kind king, but *looks at chapter 3* he’s not the brightest. It becomes very clear, very quickly that Sam did not think this true at all.

Like part of his decision process is wanting to decide something for himself because he’s self aware enough to know Phil is pulling the strings, but not smart enough to actually do it himself. So he brings Tomys and is all secretive, but then he didn’t talk it through with anyone and missed so many implications because he’s just living in his own world. But then he doubles down which is incredibly childish, but he wanted to make a desicion for himself and refuses to acknowledge that it’s backfireing (which is a very worrisome quality to have in a King).

Though I think some of it might just also be actually indecisiveness and wanting to buy himself more time to chose because he clearly doesn’t know who to pick based on how he asked Schlatt. He’s just digging himself a bigger hole and I’m scared he’ll double down further and will pick Tomys in the future just because Phil doesn’t want him to (can you tell I do not like Sam? Very good writing job on that, btw).

(2/?)

-🎄

no literally I was trying to figure out a position for tubbo that wasn't 'personal servant' just bc I didn't feel like doing that for this fic, and when I couldn't come up with anything I was like "...it's clingyduo tubbo would come just as his emotional support bestie" and then I thought back to how in historical movies you always hear about nobles having their ladies in waiting/companions/friends showing up with them everywhere like an entourage and I was like huh that would work

lol yeah after stars I'm a bit of a sucker for writing jack manifold as a guard again. he's just so good in that type of role, although I'd say he's going to have a smaller role here than he had in stars (though who knows I also didn't think stars!jack would play a very big role and look how that turned out). and of course tommy needed an adult chaperone so I thought of puffy. she's so tired of this shit.

yes, niki and quackity both came with entourages of their own although I'm not going to mention them bc I can't think of characters they'd be and I don't like throwing ocs into my fics for more than just a few lines here and there. except since niki was brought to the palace so young she essentially came just with her nanny and some guards, and when she was eventually given ladies in waiting they were provided by the palace not by summerdam. quackity was a little older so he showed up with a tutor, guards, and probably a private servant. still working out details on backstory stuff you know how it goes

yeahhh the thing is tommy's immaturity is pretty prevalent right off the bat, and while he's not overly bratty by noble kid standards, by potential future heir to the kingdom standards he's terrible. and it says something about sam's ideas towards leadership that he only just met the kid and has a bit of a soft spot towards him, because he doesn't know tommy. not at all. but he thinks he does.

i'm glad you don't like sam. he's meant to be a very messy character in rose. someone who so clearly wants to be good at this game he's playing but is just so blatantly not which causes problems for everyone else around him

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Letters/Emails/Notes (2) Masterlist

(There’s no suicide letters, here’s the masterlist to that if you want)

part one

Always Read the Margins - ineverhadmyinternetphase

Summary: Phil is a master’s student, Dan is a nervous first year. Phil is in the library when he has to look up a reference in a law textbook, and there is a scrawled note in messy handwriting down the side that makes him laugh. On a whim, he scribbles a reply, but he doesn’t expect to get a response...

a theism in evolution (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: The sungod, Phil, sends letters to Mother Gaia. He puts all his worries into words… even when he himself can't see right through them

Appreciation Letters (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Two different chapters, showing each perspective.

Dan sits down to write about his life with the most amazing man he knows and how much he values all that he’s done for him.

Phil sits down to write about how thankful he is for the guy, who persistently commented on his early videos and the life they’ve built together.

best stalker ever (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan emails his favourite youtuber

dear dan (i love you) (ao3) - cityscaped (touchofgold)

Summary: 2022, a wedding and a letter saying 'I love you'

Dear Phil - indiestripper

Summary: Dan and Phil have been friends since elementary school, but Phil is just a little bit different from the other kids. After Dan stands up for Phil on the playground the two of them become best friends and maybe even more. Written from Dan’s point of view as a letter to Phil recounting special memories.

Dear Phil. (ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: When you can't say you're feelings out loud, write them...

and leave them anonymously on your neighbor's door.

From Daniel James Howell (ao3) - thebestworstthing

Summary: "Technically, you left on the Tuesday, but it was a Wednesday when i woke up and discovered you were gone."

Phil leaves and Dan writes a letter to him one year later.

Fan Letters (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: While bored in quarantine Phil (with the help of Dan) decides to go through some fan letters from a decade ago. Finding a piece of history he didn't know he'd ever lost.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (If Only In My Dreams) (ao3) - Dawninn_Gamgee

Summary: It’s funny when I think of how much I used to like Christmas, considering that now I feel like such a Grinch. But I bet you know why, and I hope you don’t judge me. Because last year was the last Christmas we spent together. But, hey, let’s start at the beginning.

A letter from Dan to Phil.

in a box beneath my bed (ao3) - manchestereyes

Summary: A collection of letters from Dan to Phil in 2009, all unsent.

let your heart hold fast (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: Prompt: Dan and Phil are with their respective families for the holidays. Dan freaks out because he hasn't heard from Phil in 2 days. Phil comforts him.

Letters (ao3) - NintenGoAway (elfzhyza)

Summary: Somehow, Phil always knows when Dan's feeling down, and he always knows what to say to make Dan feel better.

Letters From the Future (ao3) - Star4545

Summary: Prompt from Tumblr: On everyone’s 18th birthday they receive a letter from their future selves. Some receive long messages about their future lovers or messages about changes they would have made.

Paper Stars (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.

Pretissimo (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: When Dan starts to get notes in his locker in the form of terrible pick up lines, he doesn't know who it could be and he doesn't really care. All he cares about is his violin and his studies. He could care less about the nonchalant cellist who never seems to take anything seriously.

Shall I Write It In A Letter? (ao3) - astro_phan (sincerepml)

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester are about to go to different universities. Dan wants to get something off of his chest before it's too late and does it by writing a letter.

Subject: (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: Turns out everything flags up on the system, not just porn.

Wonderwall (ao3) - your_starless_eyes

Summary: "Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm absolutely insane, but from the moment I first saw you... I knew it was going to be you."

Or

The one in which Phil attempts a love letter.

Y.S.A. (ao3) - Kavat

Summary: Dan finds a note in his locker.

[angrilymanaging]

I watch a lot of true crime t.v. I don’t know something about watching criminals who deserve it get caught. I watch Snapped. It is very funny to me, not like Ha Ha funny, but like, I’m sure most of these women are Borderlines like me. I trip because, I get it. I was watching the one the other day, about Brynn and Phil Hartman and think to myself, why are people like that? So because I am a bisexual person I really don’t like pronouns right, because you don’t have to be a man to be a divine masculine, you can be a woman, or trans man, you don’t have to be a woman to be a divine feminine. I believe that you can be a gay man, and be divinely feminine, I don’t think Trans women can be divine feminines though. Don’t ask me what my logic is, I just I think that spiritual connection just doesn’t allow for that, there is already, I don’t know. Spirit will put that on my heart to write about at some point, but not tonight. I will just try and stay on topic, it is late, and I want to go to bed but I didn’t write…so I’m f’ckng writing. I say all that to say, I use the phrase “ni**as”to refer to all masculine entities, male or female, and also for black and white people alike.

Anyway, I was listening to how Brynn Hartman, before she was Brynn Hartman, she was a model, an aspiring actress, she was a writer, and had big dreams, of making it in Hollywood. Phil Hartman was on Saturday Night Live, he was this awesome guy, and he was just the bees knees. Brynn at the end of the day had shot him, then Killed herself. So Brynn, after all of this was labeled a druggie, they called her evil, a monster, dramatic. It was said that she would come to the set of the show, and blow up at him, argue with him, try and get him fired all kinds of stuff. The whole time, everyone keeps talking about how Phil was just this angelic being, with rainbows and sunshine coming out of his ass, when he farts. But when you talk to people close to Brynn, they described him as this person who, was emotionally closed off from his wife. The exact words were, He would come home, and “Shut her out” I watch all these episodes of snapped and they say most the same thing about every woman, how she is horrible, and a monster. I have heard these same things about myself, like, when I realized what was going on I decided I needed to really chill before I snap and kill a mutha fcka myself, these type of people, they are cunning. But everything goes to the same about the guy, you can’t find a person, who would say anything bad about the guy. Rainbow farts.

He was gentle, he was kind he would give the shirt off of his back, would do anything for anyone, and while, I believe most of these women, like I can hear the story and kind of gauge right, who is and isn’t a monster, but for the most part, I legit feel like most of these women, are borderlines and they ended up with raving narcissists. I always think about it when I think of my own circumstances, like these people do everything they can, to get you, Somehow, they go the length however long it takes, mostly not taking no for an answer, very persistent, moving through the relationship to fast, but you go along cause you’re an idiot right, and once they got you right where they want you, They make sure that they build a life for you that is difficult at the end of the day to leave… My baby dad thought he was going to stick me with a kid, My ex wife thought I wouldn’t divorce her, ever, and every b’tch I ever lived with didn’t understand how quick, rather she wanted us or not, me and my kids could go back to my moms, even this current one, chickens, a dog, the trans man friend, like ugh. They try to make life difficult for you to live without them, painting you the whole time, out to be this crazy person, this monster, and they are farting rainbows because people don’t know them, in the close and very personal way that you know them. There is a phrase right, and I don’t recall ever being asked this myself but I can only imagine, because the other words that you hear often dealing with these kinds of people are liar, manipulator… I’m talkin people men who have never even met me, never even dated me, calling me a liar, but the phrase is ; The adult asks, “ so everyone is lying, except you right?” And the kid answers “yea, because they knew you wouldn’t believe me” and if I was any kid, or adult I’m that kid, I’m that adult.

When I started dating this one, we were alone, in a room at work I was sitting down, and he was standing. I can’t remember the exact conversation but I know it wasn’t going his way. He grabbed my wrist, and was twisting it, and digging his nails in my skin. I got up and walked out, cause this is my job, and I will beat your ass in here, and saw his friend in the hallway, and didn’t know this one was on my tail, but I told the bastard friend, “like yo you better tell your boy to keep his hands to himself, the m’fer just grabbed me” and you know what that b’tch said? “Yea we don’t believe that, right, cause that’s not even the type of guy you are” I started laughing, I mean dying laughing,and without a thought, I. Said” that is funny, because that’s the type of shit, a m’fer say, right after the guy murders his wife like “ I would have never thought that he was like that, I would have never guessed he was a monster he was such a good guy” yea you would’nt know because you don’t have to live with the m’fer, you wouldn’t know because you don’t have to sleep with the b’tch, or share finances, or have a personal relationship with them. That not only goes for friends but family too, don’t say sh’t to me about I handle your family member, in this f’cking relationship, cause you never slept with them, f’ck you. I watched a TikTok vid the other day, and it blew my mind, the caption was “abusers, don’t only groom the abused. They also groom theirs and the abused persons friends, family, and the the abused persons co workers, infects this whole network with grooming, so that they don’t listen too or take seriously the abused persons complaints, or comments, basically making it impossible, for this person to seek help.” And IT IS DISGUSTING!!! How the network of narcissists, out weighs the network of support. When victims come forward, with allegations, ANY abuse or, of rape, sexual abuse, Whatever, no one, you can’t say anything to anyone about anything, because before you actually run into someone, who believes you, and can help you, you first run into other abusers, looking to abuse and traumatize you some more, because no one will ever believe you, because this network has labeled you a liar, and if that doesn’t work, your’e crazy. What is worse is that this Narcissist, because you attracted them right is probably the same type as, the parent who abused you. For instance, after I separated from my ex-wife, my father said to me, “I knew that this was going to happen, I knew that once I moved out, That girl was gonna do some bullshit” he told me he said “ listen, whatever you do, don’t get back with that lady” and I made it my business to not. I am cordial, but bitter ex I will never be, when I’m done I am done. My dad told me specifically not too, and I never asked why. Whatever secrets, she shared with him, went with him to his grave, he never told me anything, and I never asked. My mother, the person whose vagina I came from, keeps in contact with most of my ex lovers, I even have decided that I don’t go to anymore of her parties, because she invites them. When I asked why, they are just her parties and she can invite who she wants too. You’re right you can. I know how to not be bothered.

But given what I’ve read, if you have a narcissistic parent, they groom you, so that it will always be them who treats you like shit, or, a person like them that treats you like shit, and they are good friends. One will encourage you to keep around with the other, It disgusts me to even think about. I used to be a person, who couldn’t see wrong, like in anyone, until they showed me they were f’cked up, I used to have a great deal of faith in humanity, now I have none. I question everything and everyone. I especially stay away from you, if you exhibit certain personality traits, I can not f’ck with you. I don’t even wait for more flags on the play anymore, I be out on the first red flag, I’m blowing the whistle, and I forfeit the game. Because the ones like, Phil Hartman, these people that “could never hurt anybody” or “the ones who will do anything for anybody” “givin the shirt off their back” “ the people who are just to good, to be goin through it, wit a monster like me” are narcissistic abusers behind closed doors, and I no longer want any parts. Period. They either like to cheat, or communicate with their ex’s or, keep in touch with their pasts, but don’t want to leave you right? Or if they don’t cheat, they are cold hearted, emotionally void people. Either way, I have no desire for my own episode of snapped. It’s the physical bars I can’t do.

[crepusculum-rattus]

35 but can i request ur rambling bc about your hardcore phil. i want to know more about him always

you Can :D!!! i love rambling abt this guy.. i’ve got so much just sitting in my notes app about Him. also i was getting ready for work while writing this so it took a Minute :P

so My hardcore phil.. hes my pathetic and fucked up cat who is dunked in milk daily❤️ okay haha! i’ll actually ramble about the beginnings of his story bc i think it provides the best Insight abt Him..

so when i was on vacation w my family i was like “hrmmm i want an excuse to write ender and phil interacting.” and it just Snowballed from there. bc i had to find my way through Why they would interact and how to characterize ender.

the idea was that phil is entirely new to a hardcore style world (in the logistics where players can choose the type of server they enter ehhh it’s best not to worry abt this part tbh). he’s good at surviving, he’s good at being alone (he claims). but he keeps stumbling upon structures that were clearly built By someone (cough cough it was the gods). and he’s like “haha Weird” bc sometimes he’s a bit of an idiot and thinks nothing of it… he just keeps on exploring and progressing, working on his base and all that stuff.

aaaand he’s finds his way into the nether, and manages to Stumble upon the blaze empress. and they just Don’t get along. so he gets and bad first impression of the deities (since she’s the first deity he actually Talks to). it’s not rlly the empress’ fault, she’s just Stressed bc ender has always been a little bitch, and she doesn’t trust this random guy who claims he just stumbled into her domain (even tho that’s fr what happened).

but like Whatever.. he’s like “okay fine jeez i’ll fucking leave.” and decides to take it Personally that she doesn’t like him, and tries his best to avoid the nether all together after that. luckily he’s got most of what he needs already.. since his goal IS to earn wings in this world which you usually get from going to the end and killing the dragon. soooo he’s just an entirely human dude for most of this. literally just a Guy

and eventually he finds himself in the end. and it’s .. Wrong. he knows it is. he stands in the center of all the pillars for what feels like hours and no dragon appears. it’s just overwhelmingly Silent…….. and then the fucking bitch bastard, ender, appears. and he can very clearly Tell that he’s a god, and is immediately like “before you say anything, i’m Trying to leave but i fucking can’t yet. so shut up. i get it.” but ender just smiles and phil, the idiot, takes it as a good thing that ender appears to be polite and isn’t yelling at him to leave his realm.

there’s a strange lingering feeling around ender but he just takes it as general weirdness from a god. but he ends up talking to ender because the god seems curious as to why phil is There. when phil tells him he’s trying to earn wings (which you usually get from killing the dragon lmao) ender offers for him to stay. it’s not like phil can exactly Leave since he doesn’t really have a way to get out, but the offer is nice. so he takes it :)

aaanddddd that’s the beginning of Him and his time in his hardcore world. very fun very good,, he’s not in danger at all. and it’s not like he’s Stupid, i mean he’s surviving hardcore, he just hasn’t interacted with a lot of people in general. so he’s not.. Great at knowing when someone is just using him. plus he can be pretty stubborn in his opinions of people, so he’s like.. always weary of the blaze empress even later when he needs her help. the same stubbornness is also what makes it Hard for him later once he finally knows ender better. smile.

[onecanonlife]

okay i have processed enough to write my initial thoughts i think. still haven’t watched everything that happened today (i.e. sapnap’s stream, jack’s stream, techno after tommy went live) but. i want to talk a little bit

(also i always get nervous sharing my takes as my anxiety is. bad. so i’ll preface this by saying that i am absolutely not trying to start anything with or go after anyone whose opinions are different lmao. this is all very much /lh)

okay. so. in no particular order

i’ve determined how i feel about c!ranboo’s death. the answer is that i feel very little. i am open to changing this opinion based on others’ reactions (c!tubbo pls return king i’m begging) but currently i am not. mourning. like i did for c!tommy. that ficlet that i wrote was definitely me trying to make myself feel something and it didn’t quite work. that being said, i’m very happy that cc!ranboo’s finally gonna get to tell a story the way he’s wanted to!

c!niki. girl. please.

kind of on that note, i will not lie i normally find techno’s lore streams to be fun, at least. and this stream had its moments that i enjoyed? but overall, was not digging the syndicate pov today. really, really good to have confirmation that c!techno doesn’t actually like c!dream, tho

gonna round out my discussion of the syndicate. c!phil. he fucking fascinates me. i want to shake him and i want to punch him and i want to hug him. i want to be in his brain. i want to give him a reality check. but his interactions with c!tommy today, i honestly thought was one of the highlights of the lore for me. like, he still doesn’t get it. i would really like for him to get it, at some point. i want him to understand why l’manberg is important. and the fact that he went along with c!techno’s plans despite the fact that he knows how fucking awful c!dream is has me seething. but like. at least he’s made it really clear that he’s in c!tommy’s corner. i do enjoy that

okay so. c!tommy. i don’t. i don’t even consider myself an inniter. but the return of c!tommy had me feeling some kind of way let me tell you

it’s been said by so many other people, but cc!tommy’s acting? holy fucking shit. he and dream absolutely killed that moment. that was just. chilling. i don’t even really have the words. (and that blooper was also so fucking funny i love them)

and i’d like to talk for a second about c!tommy’s forgiveness? like, that moment where he forgave c!phil really drove it home for me. he obviously doesn’t agree with him, but i think he saw where c!phil was coming from, decided that c!phil actually believes he was being helpful (which. like. no. but that’s another thing), and so was able to forgive him for it. c!tommy really forgives people very easily. even people who have hurt him very personally. i am not going to make this about c!wilbur i am not going to make this about c!wilbur but c!wilbur as someone holding a gun shooting at someone else and he’s on his side but he still doesn’t feel safe because the gun is still there i am not over this i will never be over this

the walls. god. the walls make him feel safe. i can’t. i fucking can’t

i said i wouldn’t make this about c!wilbur but if c!wilbur doesn’t see the walls and have a fucking emotional breakdown then what even is the point okay sorry i’m done i swear

cannot let c!quackity go unmentioned. like, he is one of the best people to be helping c!tommy rn, because he’s had the whole c!dream-escaped-panic. he’s been there and done that. he’s ready to be effective. he’s ready to do what needs to be done. and he’s decided that what needs to be done is protecting c!tommy. it really doesn’t get any better than that

uh what else. c!sam. my beloved. my beloathed. he’s probably one of the best written characters on the smp. i love him. i hate him. goddddd

this goes without saying, but c!connor absolutely stole the show /hj

[theyre-just-blocks]

Actor AU Headcanons:

Actor AUs are some of my favorite kinds of AUs (because that means all the angst is fake, hahaha) so here are a few (not really) headcanons!

No one but Wilbur knew that Schlatt was going to join the cast, so one day the big man walked into the studio and started to playfully harass Quackity with Tommy and Dream walked in and called security on him to escort him out. Quackity and Tommy are too busy laughing their asses off to explain they know who he is and Wilbur still hasn’t arrived so for like two days, Schlatt is unable to show up at the studio until Wilbur doesn’t know why he hasn’t shown up yet.

Wilbur and Schlatt are close friends because they’ve done previous projects/movies together and so Schlatt tries to use that to his advantage because he wants his character to have a gun (Wilbur says no to it)

They have a “Cat Room” where the cast leaves their cats to chill and sometimes when they can’t find Schlatt, they’ll find him in there with all the cats sleeping on top of him (he’s tried to steal them before)

Sam, Puffy, and Skeppy are the main reasons for things going wrong on set because they have a three-way prank war going on between them 

Quacky tried to join in the pranking and did so by putting in pictures of George all over the set and some of the pictures even made it into the final cut. However, George got revenge by getting his own edited Quackity pictures into final cuts

Whenever someone is hungry, they can count on Sam having something to eat for them because he loves to sneak food into the set. It’s because of this, Quackity begs for more scenes with Sam because then he can just eat on set.

Karl invites a lot of people onto the set and he and Quackity usually steal some of the filming equipment to film their adventures with these guests and are currently working on a spin off of the Dream smp main story line. 

Quackity asked for stilts to be taller than he “already was” but of course, he didn’t get what he wanted. 

During Wilbur’s villain arc, everytime a scene between him and Tommy ended, Tommy would usually go for a hug because seeing Wilbur act all evil shakes him up and he usually doesn’t let go for a while (Wilbur teases the hell out of him for it) 

Having Philza on the show was a huge secret that they all had to keep for a very long time, and it was difficult because Tommy likes to run his mouth during interviews and Phil was on set a lot giving encouragement and direction to the other cast members during the Festival arc. 

When Ranboo was introduced into the cast he was very confused. He’s a newer actor and the Dream SMP show is his first big break, and since it was so huge, he thought that the cast would be very professional. He was wrong. He’s usually the only one who listens to the director and tries his best to memorize his lines (even though he forgets them a lot). He just wants to get home guys. 

Schlatt was so happy to die though, when he first read the script for the war he cheered and after he finished filming his heart attack he said, “I’m out bitches!” and they didn’t see him for at least two months. One day he just showed up to a table read one day with Chinese food asking about if he got to come back as a ghost and have a “cute ghost name”.

During the whole Exile though, when the cameras cut, Tommy turned into Clingyinnit and wouldn’t let Tubbo go for long hours of a time. He’s a bit of a method actor (or so he thinks) so when he heard about the exile outcome he decided to prepare by spending a lot less time around Tubbo, but it was devastating and he decided he couldn’t do it. 

With that being said, Tubbo knew that the arc would be hard on Tommy so whenever Tommy was filming with Dream in a different studio on the island set, he would sneak over there and hide within Tommy’s line of sight and try to make him laugh. He would do this, even when he had a five minute call time, which would then result of Ranboo having to run from one studio building to the other to grab Tubbo and bring him over to the L’Manburg set. But he would successfully make Tommy laugh sometimes. 

Wilbur as Ghostbur wears green screen pants and has the harness to help him ‘float’ a few inches off the floor at all times. As a joke though, sometimes they leave him hanging for a few minutes. 

Technoblade thought it would be funny if he kept his American accent instead of having a British one like the rest of his family in the show had and everyone just let him do it

If a prop or a piece of a costume is missing, it’s usually a result of Tommy or Quackity, as the both of them like to mock their fellow castmate’s characters during breaks and in between scenes

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’m definitely going to make some more. The next batch will probably be regarding how interviews go. 

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[iceprincessviviane]

Eyes in the darkness

Paring: Yandere!C!Technoblade x BookwormEnchanter!Female!Reader

Type: Romantic (Technoblade is yandere). Trilogy - part one. Next part.

Warnings: swearing, possessivness, yandere, angst, injury, sugestive content, threats, blood, silly jokes created by me.

Summary: Technoblade was watching Y/N for some time, trying to stay in the shadows. Unfortunately voices and thoughts won against the logic and he want her now on his side forever.

Author's note: Inspiration from a lot of things, but especially: Hades and Persephone, Beauty and the Beast. This used to be oneshot, but I changed my mind, ut will be trilogy. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

Words in red colour are Technoblade's voices.

Words in blue colour are Y/N thoughts.

Y/N didn’t know when was the last time she ran for her life. Probably during one of the pillagers attack on the village or maybe in the Nether. But none of them was that type. Now she was being chased by something way much more dangerous than besties. At the moment, she’s being followed by the Blood God himself. Despite the aching and pain of her muscles and her throat feeling dry from gasping for air, Y/N was still asking herself how did on earth this happen?

~*~

Y/N always loved books and reading, she came to Smp two weeks after Foolish arrival. Actually her friendship with him leaded her here. They exchanged the letters and she was interested in staying somewhere for a while. After some time, she decided to come. Her divine friend already started to build his summer home and had few buildings done. She stayed there for few couple of days, they decided to build something for herself. She already have met most of Smp members including Dream Team, Bench Trio and rest, but owning home, place for stay was good idea. Sometimes Y/N liked to be alone. Eret allowed her to build something behind his castle, it was always nice to have someone close.

It took time before she ended house, it was cozy one with big field in front, farms, cellars and most important - library with enchanting place. It was huge, biggest part of the house with plenty of regals and reading spots. Y/N loved to spend there time and collectin more books or texts. Foolish had a lot of ancient scrolls or manuscripts and liked to share them with her. They could spend hours discussing about their favourite ones.

Books caused that Y/N met Phil, because he was the second person on the Smp, which had great collection from centauries. Shark god took her at trip to Tundra. Y/N was excited to meet such person and nervous too. Happily, everything went all right, Technoblade wasn't that time in home, so they had chilling conversation. Winged man was very curious about her skills and enchants. Of course during his travells and lifespan he met enchanters, but didn't paid much attention to them. Now, he could meet one in chill ocassion. Their three had a lot of talking, giggling and being wholesome. Phil promised to borrow more interesting books and Y/N said, that she can give some enchantments.

When Technoblade came back he immediately felt, that Foolish was there with... someone else... someone new. It smelled like pine and old paper, very nice. Phil told him about visitors and Y/N, he ignored it a little bit, but voices... voices liked this smell a lot.

'So strange.' 'Which woman can smell like that?' 'Where is she living?'

}*{

Y/N was peaceful person with no intention to harm anybody, staying in her place. She stayed in positive relations with almost everyone, providing needed enchantments and helping caused, that a lot of members were friendly to her. Y/N liked to hanging out with Bench Trio, although they were sometimes so chaotic. Usually she went mining with Ranboo, when it was needed, cutting trees with Tommy for his buildings and staying in Snowchester with Tubbo. That is why she came with almost everyone, when Tommy and Tubbo were in Dream bunkier fighting with him. Discs were just items, but... Dream's obsession, it was dangerous and teenagers were her friends. After that a lot of things changed. Putting him into Pandora's Vault was meant to protect them, but she was getting cold shivers each time she looked at black walls of prison. Knowing that everyone could be locked there...

After Egg's influence grew stronger she tried to find some infromations about it and how could ghe possible defeat it, but that took time. Foolish and Phil were so helpful handing their ancient texts, to make research. Suddenly with crimson vines everywhere, Smp became less safer, at least she felt it that way. More members were busy with their business and stuff, they finally could do them, when Dream was locked. For example Foolish agreed to build big mansion for Tubbo and Ranboo, which got platonical marriage and Tommy started his hotel. Meeting Michael was so wholesome and funny, little zombie piglin started to like her and at each visit she read him fairy tales and stories.

Y/N decided to not think about bad sides of Smp, just being busy and tried to help, if someone needed it. Before Doomsday wandering around could be dangerous, especially for La'Manburg citizens, because Dream and Technoblade were unpleasant for them. Now she enjoyed visiting almost everyone everywhere. After a few visits, she could tell that something was wrong, Y/N couldn't tell what, but it was almost like being watched, blaming Egg and vines was her answer for that, but actually why? Why did it do that? She would never joined their side. Never ever. Sometimes she spotted the Phil's corws, but that wasn't a s surprise, birds were telling him a lot of informations around the Smp. Easy way to know almost everything.

}*{

Y/N was heading to her house, stepping at Prime Path. In opposite direction she spotted Quackity, slowly walking by from prison direction, which was surprise. She smiled softly to him and he smiled back.

"What's up?" Big Q asked when got closer to her.

"It's good I am coming back home, need to eat and get some nap, and you?"

"I... ended some buisness." His face stiffened and his look became more serious.

Y/N nodded little unsure about his changed emotions. Suddenly she spotted that his sleeve is covered in fresh blood.

"Are you hurt?" She asked worried.

Quckity looked at his shirt as surprised as she and frowned, he checked axe which hanged down from his belt.

"I guess so then, but I don't know where did that come from."

"Let me take care of this." Y/N suggested with warm smile. "My home is closer than Las Nevadas."

After a few moments he nodded in agreement. They together headed to her place. Weather started to become stormy, dark cloud covered the sun, threating to start raining.

Then went inside, but when she was closing door, feeling of being watched hit her with dubled strength. House was in the spine forest, but fenced and had a gate. In filed were some farms, trees and small garden, but everything seemed to look normal. Big Q sat on the couch in living room and Y/N brought bandages, water in bowl and even healing potion. He rose sleeve, wound wasn't long, but deep, something cut his arm, probably weapon.

"It doesn't look good, but you will be okay." She said after looking at cut.

"Good." He sighed with relief.

"What did make it? Do you have an idea?"

Big Q looked dead in her eyes and remained silence. Of course he knew what, but he didn't even noticed the wound before leaving the prison. Well, someone will pay for this.

"Maybe working at Las Nevadas, you know... I am still building there." He spoke after a while.

"Oh... ye you have right, but be careful next time." Y/N suggested and started to work on cut carefuly. Starting on cleaning, then gently bandaged it.

"Thank you." Big Q said after seeing the results.

"No problem, just don't walk around with untreated wound." Y/N giggled softly.

He stood up and moved his eyes on windows. Black clouds didn't go away, even became worse.

"I will go now, weather is getting worse, I want to be in home before storm." Big Q said with soft smile.

"Of course, see you next time."

After he left, big storm came, darkness fell upon the Smp, rain and wind were too strong, for coming outside. Y/N decieded to take a chance and nap. She baked some cookies and sit down on a couch with another book, which Phil borrowed her. Only the torches gave light, sometimes thunderbolt stroke and filled room with unatural blue light. Drops hit hardly, making loud sounds, but Y/N was too much into a book. Two hours has passed and slowly night was coming. She moved eyes to meet clock, yep that was supper time, put the book away and up, Gods thr storm didn't let go. Y/N watched for a while outside, then go to kitched. She grabbed blanket and wrapped it around her posture, damn there were cold.

Again feeling of being watched kicked in. She was alone at home, that was sure thing. Outside was deep dark and behind the windows was the wall of the water. Y/N bite her lip and shook head, it was just her imagination, a feeling which stayed for no reason after putting Dream into Pandora's Vault. She took an kettle and suddenly was seeing something in the corner of the eye, something red and unusual in the spine forest. Her figure frozen when she moved back eyes. Deep in the dark, around sprouce trees in the line of forest, Y/N spotted pair of shinning, red eyes, high above the ground. They were locked at her figure.

'This has to be spider... or something else...'

Right after this thought, ceature turned back and disappeard in the darkness, cold shiver went down at Y/N spine. What was that? And why it was here? At least she was safe in home...

}*{

'More.' 'Training is boring, let's find someone to fight.' 'We demand blood.'

Technoblade sighed and stopped, voices today were very, very loud. That was why he decided to train, but during it, they became even worse. He hid sword and walked into home. Phil wasn't here today, he had to do something, but didn't bother to tell him what it was. Blade went back to home by his old path through the forest. His training place was near the cottage, but still hidden from common people. All members of Syndicate knew where it was. First of all he need to take shower. When cold water touched his skin, he felt like even his bloodlust became less, quiet hiss left his lips. He earned some chafings this week. Next, he changed his clothes to common and made a cup of tea, then sit in the kitchen. Immediately his thoughts went to Y/N.

Somehow voices were acting diffrent around her and he even found himself acting that way. They were focused around Y/N and he was more calm, like just her pressence was comforting him. Technoblade remembered their first meeting, it was common day, when someone knocked on the door. He opened it and rose his eyebrows in surprise, outside was standing fragile woman, without any armor and only with trident on her back. They shared awkward eye contact, when suddenly she introduced herself as Y/N. Of course he saw her couple of times, but it wasn't officialy. Y/N has known who was he for sure, she swallowed hard and looked down with shyness. Phil yelled across the room, that she could come in. Ah yes... she loved to read books and his old friend was borrowing her them a lot. Technoblade again felt the spine and old papers smell, for him, it could stay here forever. After short visit, Y/N took books, gave back book of enchantment and left.

Techno's curiosity has increased, when he heard about her more. She was peaceful, friendly soul, completly opposite of him, maybe that was, why he felt so... diffrent around her and voices too. Piglin hybrid enjoyed watching her from the distance, in the shadows, but lately... lately it wasn't enough. Now he wanted to breathe at Y/N scent, holding her close and pressed soft kisses at forehead. He was under voices pressure so long and now his salvation was so close. But what would he make it? As longer he has thought of that, a diffrent ideas came to his head. She was delicate creature, he had to get plan at all. Techno knew almost everything about her: hobbies, traditions, friends and fighting skills. Phil told him a lot about enchanters, they could make enchanting books after years of studying and had magic talent sometimes. As they knew, Y/N could enchant books at any spell, so she had to studied a lot. Technoblade sighed and grabbed his cloak, time to keep an eye on few things.

'Let's not go quietly!' 'Let's go quiet as grave...' 'Blood for the Blood God!'

}*{

That was busy week, Y/N could only one time saw Foolish and Phil, but whole Smp seemed a little bit diffrent... luckily she was able to go on mining trip with Ranboo and Eret visited her with a couple of books, which were about Smp. Now was afternoon and sun slowly started to set, she was heading to her house, where waited for her snow fox, which she found in Snowchester. Cute, little ball of fur stole Y/N heart immediately. When she finally stepped inside, Snowflake - that how she named it, ran into her squeaking high.

"What happend my little one?" She knelt down and pet it's head.

Fox looked at her with big brown eyes and squeaked once more, then jump into her arms.

"Oh oh oh... are you afraid of something?" Y/N hugged Snowflake and looked around. Everything in home seemed normal, door was closed, in a field same, animals were quite nervous, but everything was good. She frowned and stepped inside, then put fox into basket with small blanket.

"I will bring you some berries, you will like it for sure." Y/N smiled gently.

Unfortunately, she didn't have any at this moment in home, Snowflake was there only for three days, so she couldn't make berries farm so fast, because she had to set up a space. Luckily, she lived around coniferous forest, so didn't even hesiatate, Y/N just grabbed backpack and went outside. Sun was lower in the sky, but still it was warm and brightly. Birds were humming quietly and around was quite quiet. Berries bush weren't so far, she founed some, but in order to make supplies, decided to find more, then plant them around the house. It would spared the time and work.

"Y/N." She heard deep, lazy voice and immediately turned at it's direction.

The Blade was standing under big sprouce tree with satisfied grinn on his lips. Eyes locked on Y/N figure, which completly froze at the sight of him. She have never been with him alone, in tundra always Phil or Ranboo were around, now it felt... strange and risky, she still remembered what happend to La'Manburg citizens.

"Technoblade." Y/N spoke softly, being careful to not crack her voice, despite building feeling of fear. She noticed, that piglin hybrid under his royal, crimson cloak was wearing armor, probably not his best one, but still enough to win fight. Part of hair made into bun, rest were freely in his back and shoulders. From his belt was hanging netherite sword and netherite axe was sticking out from behind. She spotted, that his weapons were a little covered in blood, same as his sleeves and parts of shirt. He was killing monsters right? Or just hunting? Uncomfortable, awkward silence reminded between them, only forest noises distrubed it from time to time.

Voices were too loud today, too agressive, too greedy, killing monsters and pillagers wasn't enough, Quackity has already tasted his steel, well he deserved that after showing up in Y/N home. He had so much fun with him, but after that he needed some rest, comfort and calm. That is why without even thinking too much Technoblade went straight to Y/N house. He hoped, that everything will change, that he finally will has some break from voices, violence and killing. Of course he liked his way to be... but yes sometimes, you have to make a nap.

"Are you wounded?" Y/N asked quietly breaking the silence. After all, if he needed help, she would help him, without hesitation.

Technoblade's grinn became more sinister, he put hand on sword hilt and slowly tilted his head on right side.

"This isn't my blood." He said without caring at all.

"Oh, that's good then..." Y/N whispered, but he could hear that.

Piglin hybrid studied her posture, she had only trident at her back, backpack in left hand, no armor, no more weapons. Poor little girl, that's not how you are going outside your home, she was literally unarmed in his eyes.

"So... what are you doing here? Alone? In the forest?" Technoblade asked and moved closer to her.

The way he spoke these words, made Y/N shiver inside, outside, she grabbed her backpack harder. Surely there was nothing to worry about, she has never done something wrong to him or Philza, she wasn't dangerous or wanted to has any power. Techno is probably just passing by. Suddenly he was so close, now she could for real see the height diffrence, for the gods sake, her head reached around his breastbone. Y/N looked up only to meet piglin hybrid's burning gaze.

"I... I was collecting berries for my snow fox. Something scared her, so I thought that she will calm down after getting some and I ran out of them..." she suttered and swallow hard.

"How sweet." Technoblade commented and his smile widened.

"So... you are just passing by?"

"Not really."

Sudden grip on her chin caught Y/N off guard. Technoblade forced her to look straight into his eyes. His face stiffened a little bit, she hissed quietly, when claws touched harder gentle skin. Then she realised... Blade's eyes were red and she heard, that it could glow in darkness. Her skin became pale and pupils widened. It was him, that time during a storm, he was watching her...

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked quietly, without any clue, what was going on.

'She is so innocent.' 'We love her scent.' 'Let her know.'

"I have something to tell you." He leaned and immediately her scent hit him harder, resisting to take deep breath wasn't that easy.

"What excatly?"

"I was watching you for a while Y/N. Belive me or not I found that interesting, because your pressence is calming for me, I can fall asleep while listening your voice and push away my violence behaviour, when you are around." He stroked her cheek by his thumb and smiled haughty. "I am always getting , what I want and I want that so badly, you can't even imagine."

Y/N shook head and made few steps back, leaving his grip, couldn't belive what she just heard. That's impossible.

"I don't know what to say... I can admit, that I had strange feeling of being watching but... I blamed the Egg..." She looked deep into his eyes, trying to put everything together. "What do you mean, you are always getting, what are you want? How am I suppose to understand that?"

"Listen sweetheart, we can do this in two diffrent ways: good or bad. If you choose first one, fine politely you will go with me. Second way? Well I can be very convincing, when I want to." Technoblade frowned.

None of this options was good for her. Y/N sighed and her shoulders dropped. She couldn't do anything literally...

"Come on princess. I can take care of you, I promise, you will be happy." He gave her his hand, but gripped sword hilt harder.

Y/N always avoided the conflicts and argues, never has started any, that was easier and better way to live. She could take care of her interests, powers anf friends by being supportive or neutral. Technoblade's behaviour made her shiver and feel sick, there was no guarantee that he will keep his words, even if it were sweet and promising. Y/N knew that fighting him was pointlees, he were ten thousand better than her, she didn't even have armor or second weapon. But surrender just like that? Without any resistance? She always was determinated, miss 'you can always find a way, solution'. Not a chance.

"I think I have better option, which lay in the middle." Y/N smiled gently.

"Well, tell me then." Technoblade rose his eyebrows with curiosity.

With one smooth move, she put backpack on and immediately started to run. The Blade's pupils widened, he burst out laughing.

"It will be funny."

She has known, that she needed to lose him in forest. Going to home wouldn't help, because door or gate couldn't stop Blood God. Lost him and then ran away from Smp, at least her current living location. Y/N realized that she couldn't even ask for help anyone. Probably Technoblade would come after her friends, helpers, so that was it. Y/N versus The Blade, she was on her own.

'How did she dare to run away from us?!' 'Chase her, catch her.' 'Faster, faster, faster!'

It seemed like running away from Tommy for fun, came in handy and long trips with Ranboo caused her to move fast through forest. Y/N nimbly jumped over obstacles and avoid rocks or roots. Her pace wasn't the fastes, but she could hold it for pretty long time. She wasn't thinking a lot, just tried to run away as far as she could.

'Don't look back, don't look back, it will make you slower.'

Hiding could be good idea, but not now. As long as he was close, she couldn't stop at all. Breaking through the forest was only hearing noise, soon, she heard her heavy breathing. Heading to unknown direction wasn't so wisely, but Y/N had no choice. After a few minutes, she stopped to catch breath. Around was sudden so quiet, cold shiver went down at her spine. Too quiet.

"Already tired?" Technoblade's voice surprised her from left side.

She turned head, just to see him leaning against the tree. In his right hand he held sword, didn't even look like he was running.

"You can't outrun me little one. A lot of people tried, now they are dead." He aimed sword at her. "We can end this farce here. I am not mad, honestly, you made me smile a little bit."

"You will have to catch me, if you want me going with you." Y/N said and then continue to run away.

"Oh I will princess, that's what predator does to the prey."

Y/N started to feel really tired, muscles aching, throat dry from gasping for air, hair dispelled and cheeks red. She ran for a while, but now had to stop. Technoblade immediately appeared in her field of vision. He was walking carefuly, but still looked intimidating.

"Don't come closer!" She released a cry.

Piglin hybrid stopped about eight meters away. He leaned sword against the ground and looked at her with curious gaze.

'Here she is, our reward.' 'Let's finally take her with us.' 'We like that sound.'

"I think, I just caught you." A little grinn appeared on his lips.

She looked straight into his eyes. Her gaze full of fear met a calm and determination. Y/N didn't even want to think what would happend, if he fulfilled his desires. Gods sake, she was free human being, none could take her freedom, she didn't ask for this. In an act of desperation, with the last of her strength, she used her powers. Feeling of warm through fingers and energy drained from her veins, but then burning light. In Technoblade's towards direction flew literally fireball, but he was too skilled for this. He made a dodge and looked at Y/N with mix of proud and shock. She dropped to her knees, struggling to stay conscious, despite the pain at her whole body and tired mind and unclear vision. Technoblade immediately was with her, he knelt down and support her, by putting arm around her waist. Y/N leaned back against his chest, fatigue prevailed over reason.

"Enough for today princess. You run out, if you will keep resisting." He whispered calmly.

"Please, please... please I don't want this, I want to go home." Her voice was cracking, tears strimming down at her cheeks.

"Hush darling, everything will be all right."

Technoblade's body radiated warm, his tone suddenly was so calming and sleepy. She wanted to close eyes so badly, but still fear was too big.

"You are safe, nothing can hurt you I promise."

After this words Y/N gave up and lost consciousness. Sun went down and shadows became longer and darker.

}*{

Phil careful closed the doors, then walked quietly down. Technoblade sat in kitchen with cup of hot tea, he immediately looked at his old friend, his eyes were worrying.

"Y/N is good, she lost consciousness, because was too tired. You said that, she used her powers."

"It was literally fireball, but I dodge that easy."

"Well, now we know about her powers at least... interesting, what you are going to do, when she wake up?" Phil asked and sat in opposite site.

"I know, that you are not glad about this, but I will figure this out. She won't cause any troubles." Techno's voice became deeper.

Winged man sighed and looked at his friend. He knew what he was going through, when voices became louder and demanded blood, each moment of silence or when they were quiet, Technoblade cherished and tried to make it worth. Phil couldn't be angry or mad for his friend about that deed, but... he was torn.

"Come on spit it out. I can see that you want to tell something important." Piglin hybrid said slowly.

"We were through a lot of shit, we know each other for almost ages and we blew up the nation for gods sake, kidnapping isn't the worst thing you have done, but..." Phil started and looked at Techno. "I wish you best and everything good, but I don't know how will I act around. Y/N has come to me for books, we were talking about stuff, I gave her cookies and tea. How will I explain, that I am supporting your decision? And I am always on your side." Phil said aloud his worries.

"I will give her time to get used to. After certain amount of time Y/N will understand." The Blade was lost in his thoughts.

He was so greatful of his friend statement, but still a little bit unsure. This case shloudn't affect on their relationship or Phil's life. Honestly Technoblade belived that his pressence will comfort Y/N at least, as he said they were close and enjoyed each other company.

"Someone will notice her disappering. What then? And Ranboo is visiting us a lot." Phil sighed a little.

"I've got this, trust me."

"I trust you with my own life." Winged man nodded.

}*{

Sunlight kissed her skin gently, when it showed up on window. Y/N felt softness under herself and on her back. Quiet sigh left her lips, when she opened eyes. In the room was very bright, but for sure it wasn't her room. Immediately cold shiver went down at her spine. Still weak, she tried to lift herself, because she was lying on stomach. Bed was big, with good beddings and pillows.

"Don't move, you are still weak." Technoblade's voice was soft, but loud.

Y/N bite her lip and then lifted head. He was standing near the bed and observing curiously, looking completly diffrent. White, linen shirt and high waisted, leather trousers, hair braided tighly. In this version he was... more open and accessible, not so scary.

"Where am I?" She asked slowly and rolled at her back with quiet hiss. Muscles still hurt and throat was dry.

"In my house, in tundra safe and..." He cut off, while noticed that Y/N is trying to get up. "What did I say?" He stepped closer and sat on bed.

She sat unsure on mattress, just to met Technoblade here, he gripped again her chin, as in the forest and forced her to look at him. This time it was more gently.

"Darling please..."

"You can't take my freedom!"

His eyes darkened immediately and Y/N regreted her words. She swallowed hard, when Blade looked deep into her eyes.

"Of course I can and I will, if you don't behave good. If you didn't notice, you aren't chained or tied, but pretty comfy in my bed." He said slowly with threat in his voice. "Think about it."

Technoblade released her and got up. She looked down thinking about situation, yes he didn't tied her, but still it wasn't good case. Y/N just wanted to be free, do stuff which she want and meet friends. Maybe Smp wasn't perfect, but still now it was her home, there were a lot of wars or argues, but she still had house and persons which she cared about and this was mutual, now everything was unsure.

"I am just afraid... " Y/N whispered quietly.

"As I said earlier you are safe here, you are safe with me. Nothing can hurt you." Techno grabbed bowl with soup and came back. "Here, eat, you need to recover."

"Thanks." She smiled weakly to him, took bowl and started to eat slowly.

'Good girl.' 'She will behave for sure.' 'We can teach her a lesson.'

Y/N was napping for the rest of the day, Technoblade gave her one of their books, so she wasn't bored. Probably tomorrow or next day she will stand up.

The sound of closing doors, caused her to closed book and put it away. Piglin smiled gently and took off his shirt suddenly. Y/N eyes became big.

"Wait wait wait..."

"Calm down princess, I am just going to sleep, nothing else." Technoblade smirked for her panic.

"So... where shloud I move?" Y/N asked looking around the room.

"Nowhere. You are staying here with me."

Immediately her cheeks went slighty red. She looked at him curiously. His pink skin seemed gentle from the distance, a lot of scars marked his chest and arms. Some of them little, some of them large, the biggest one was through both sides of chest. Technoblade released his hair and came closer. Y/N moved to make him some space. He laid down, she followed his steps but remain distance.

"Goodnight." She said and turned back from him.

"Goodnight sweetheart."

He blow up torches near the bed and silence fell upon them. Not even a five minutes passed, when Y/N felt sudden grip on her waist. She froze, Technoblade hugged her and pressed kiss on her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Quiet whisper left her lips.

"Snuggling and cuddling." He whispered softly.

Y/N couldn't help, she giggled quietly. Techno took this as premission, her back touched his chest and second hand slowly stroked her hair.

[jjkyaoi]

*SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE* FOUND FAMILY

• it’d been a couple days after dream had been imprisoned that puffy & tommy spoke? tommy had been walking to the prison w/ sam to visit dream for the second time, when puffy had ran up & decided she’d want to tag along. it was half because she wanted to see her son again—was he even her son anymore?—but it was mostly because she didn’t want tommy to go alone; she didn’t know tommys history w/ dream, but she didn’t trust dream alone w/ him, even if he used to be her duckling.

TOMMY, walking by sam’s side: so, how’s dream been holding up in prison?

SAM; he’s been doing fine —

PUFFY, running at them at full speed; I WOULD LIKE TO COME WITH—

• and ever since then, it’s been a routine for them to both visit dream in the prison. it’d been sort of awkward at first, but eventually the two of them just got into the habit of goofing around whenever they entered the prison; they wouldn’t take anything seriously & most of the time they’d spend in there would just be tormenting sam and seeing how loud they could yell in the prison so their voice would echo.

PUFFY: hey, tommy. hey—hey tommy, look

TOMMY: what?

PUFFY, copying sam’s stance & scowling: i’m sam and i’m a big angry prison warden look at me snarl grrrr

SAM; that Isn’t funny—

• eventually puffy just got into the habit of following sam & tommy around wherever they went. wherever they’d go or whatever they’d do she’d always be trailing behind.

• tommy doesn’t know this, but whenever he’s talking w/ anybody else he’s always got puffy & sam standing behind him threateningly. he could be conversing w/ literally anyone, & regardless if they’re a threat puffy & sam would just be behind him holding a giant sledgehammer.

TOMMY, talking to anyone: yeah, and then i said—

PUFFY & SAM, directly behind him: :]

• whenever tommy doesn’t feel like walking anymore, he’d always hop onto sam’s back. at first when he tried to do it they both crumbled to the ground, but eventually it’s just something they both knew how to do by days of practice, & it’s eventually something they both did randomly. if tommy didn’t want to be in a situation, sam would appear and he’d pick tommy up & he’d carry him away; if tommy was tired, he’d pick him up and carry him away, if tommy was angry, he’d pick him up & he’d carry him away.

• puffy got into the habit of training him, as well. he’d always been awed at the way she could fight, & she eventually decided that she’d just go ahead and train the kid if he was so curious. so, in the days where he wasn’t busy w/ hotelinnit, she’d just be training him. he wasn’t very good at most things, & he’d constantly be falling over his ass, but whenever he got frustrated she’d always let him win just to boost his ego.

TOMMY: i cant understand why i’m not winning, it’s not—it shouldn’t be that hard???

PUFFY, immediately collapsing on the ground; ah, you’ve defeated me.

TOMMY: wh..

TOMMY: i didn’t even hit you??

PUFFY: i’m dead. pray for me.

• eret also joins their little squad, even if it’s later on. they immediately take up the role of the elder sibling in tommys life, when they aren’t busy w/ their own things. tommy’s favorite thing to do w/ them is make little paper crowns & put them on his head, exclaiming that ‘they match!’ eret’s heart always melts whenever he sees that.

TOMMY, with a paper crown on his head; look, eret, now we’re both kings!

ERET, on the verge of tears: mhm :]

• sam & puffy both don’t like phil. they dont know much about tommy’s relationship w/ him, but they’ve noticed the way tommy’s face always seems to dim whenever he’s talking about him, and the way he doesn’t really speak to him as if he’s his dad? so they’ve both got into this silent agreement that they don’t want phil & tommy to interact, for the betterment of tommy. aka they’re both c!phil anti’s

TOMMY: puffy?

PUFFY: yeah?

TOMMY: do you think—,,... do you think ranboo’s better than me? i mean, do you think he’s nicer than me?

PUFFY: ...

SAM: where’s this coming from?

TOMMY: i don’t—i don’t know. i mean, phil & techno seem to like him a lot, and he’s living with them now, so i assume that he’s— i assume that he’s better than me?

TOMMY: i mean it isn’t like i care, because i don’t. and like i’m fine that he’s happy— i’m fine that they’re happy, it’s just that... they replaced me so fast, and i don’t—

TOMMY: did i ever really matter to them?

SAM; tommy...

PUFFY: well.

PUFFY: it doesn’t matter if you don’t matter to them, because you matter to us.

• after a couple weeks of hanging out w/ puffy and sam, he’d gotten into the habit of referring to them as “mom” and “dad” when they aren’t around. most of the time it’s towards tubbo, and it’s mostly just something he says w/o thinking about it? when he’d first done it he’d shut down for like a solid couple minutes.

TOMMY; anyway, so mom sent me—

TUBBO: mom?

TOMMY: ?

TUBBO: you just referred to puffy as your mom.

TOMMY:

• whenever tommy doubts visiting him in the prison, or gets nervous about talking to him again, puffy & sam always have him sit down for a little bit so they can encourage him. they’re always really gentle w/ him, and they always say he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to, but they try their best to encourage him when he’s like that.

• whenever tommy’s feeling down about logstedshire, as well, puffy & sam always have this routine;

PUFFY, pointing to this; what’s this?

TOMMY; my— that’s my arm?

PUFFY: mhm. and what’s this? *pointing to his leg*

TOMMY: my. ... leg?

SAM, putting his hand on tommy’s chest; and what’s this?

TOMMY: my heartbeat — i’m sorry, what’s the point of this?

SAM; it’s to prove that you lived through it.

PUFFY; logstedshire? it isn’t so scary, when you think about it. the person who made it scary is gone; and you’re here.

SAM: you’re still here, that’s all that matters.

• they’re both so extremely petty whenever they talk to phil. they both always loudly exclaim “MY SON” or “MY TOMMY” whenever they’re talking about tommy, just to rub it in phil’s face that tommy likes them better then he likes him. tommy’s always confused whenever he’s talking to phil & sam and puffy come running at them at full yelling things like ‘MY SON’

TOMMY: anyway, so i was saying, phil—

PUFFY, coming up behind TOMMY and giving him a backhug: hello my son :]

TOMMY: um— hi?

PHIL: ...?

SAM, also appearing and giving tommy a flower crown; i hope you like this, MY SON, i picked this out for you. it’s red. your favorite color

TOMMY: um.

PUFFY, glaring daggers at phil over tommys shoulder; have a good day MY SON.

• tommy doesn’t like anyone talking badly about sam or puffy, ever. even if it’s a joke, it doesn’t matter to him; if the slightest negative sentence is uttered about either of them he’s immediately got full armor on & rapidly flying towards them w/ his trident while violently screaming “WHAT’D YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOM AND DAD”

QUACKITY, jokingly: sam’s so weird—

TOMMY, immediately pointing an axe towards his throat; say that again and you die.

• also, tommy isn’t used to be handled w/ such,,,.. care? so, whenever sam or puffy are nice to him he’s always like “thank?? you??” he doesn’t understand why they’re being so kind—why they constantly give him random gifts just because they want to, and not because it’s out of pity. he’s constantly confused on why they’re nice to him w/o an alterior motive, and they have to tell him that it’s because they like him, not because they want something out of him.

TOMMY: puffy, why’re you— why’re you hugging me?

PUFFY, burying her face in his chest; it’s a sign of affection, dingus. it’s a hug.

TOMMY: yeah, okay, but... why?

PUFFY; because i care about you.

TOMMY: why—

SAM, ruffling tommy’s hair; just shut up & accept the hug.

[savoies]

rating things my boyfriend has said during sex - nolan patrick.

summary: rating things nolan has told you during sex.

word count: 1k.

warnings: borderline smut, mentions of smut, bad words, mentions of alcohol.(remember protection and consent)

a/n: here it is, thank you to everyone who voted! hope you guys like it.

taglist: ​(click link or send in ask) ​ @nhlpetey @mitch-slap ​ @frostythegoalman @ryanssuzuki  @aria253264 ​  @josty ​ ​ @kaitieskidmore1 ​ ​ @kiedhara ​ ​ @laurenairay ​ @teenagekook ​ ​ @alxvlasic ​ ​ ​ @hockeyallthetime ​ @barzy-baby ​ ​ ​ @bowenbyram ​ @mems06 ​ @joshsandersons ​  @connormcdavo ​ @maattamatthews ​ ​ @pierreslucdubois ​ ​ @selenophileangel ​ @boqvistsbabe @ana-maa ​ @stars-canucks @quinnhughxs @sidscrosbyy

​tagging some buds: @npatrickz @beauvibaby @heybarzy @tkachuk-yeah @cozycozzy @2manytabsopen ​

(*credit to gif owner*)

1. That's my girl.

9/10.

Made me feel good.

Lowkey made me feel like a dog for a sec but we overlooked that.

Nolan had just gotten home from a game,  a winning game for that matter. One in which he made the overtime goal in. Meaning only one thing. Rewarding him for his goal. It wasn't a written rule you guys had just something that casually reoccurred over time. Just him coming back from a winning high and one thing always led to another.

Your moans filled the small Philadelphia apartment as Nolan thrusted into you. Both of you quickly about to reach your high.

"Nolan im about to..."  You said as kept on riding him.

"Let go baby." He said as he looked at you and the current view in front of him.

You finally reaching your orgasm and letting go as the feeling of your high overtook you.

"That's my girl." Nolan said as both of you laid next to each other both slowly drifting off to sleep.

2. Did you put bread on the grocery list?

3/10.

Ruined the mood.

Did remind me about the bread though.

You and Nolan were very handsy all day. Much preferring to stay in then go out but Travis had invited you over for lunch with him and Karly so instead of taking care of how you were feeling you had to result to waiting which you and Nolan did not much prefer.

~~~~

Quickly getting home and kissing once you got into your living room. Dropping articles of clothing as both of you went to the bedroom.

You kissing Nolan and tugging at his hair as grunts and moans filled your bedroom.

You quickly trying to remove his pants.

"Wait." Nolan said through heavy breaths.

"What." You dragged out kind of getting desperate.

"Did you put bread on the grocery list?" He asked as he stopped kissing you.

"Wait, are you serious? You stopped this for that?" You questioned as you got up and put your shirt on.

"Where are you going?" He asked as you stepped out of the room."

"I'm going to add bread to the grocery list."

"Ok good cause i need my ham and cheese sandwiches." He said as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

3. I swear im gonna marry you one day.

10/10

Filled my stomach in butterflies.

If he keeps on saying it i'm gonna give this man anything and everything. 

You and Nolan had just gotten back from your friend's wedding. Both having to wear stuffy outfits and quickly trying to get out of them as fast as possible.

"You know i think it'll be more fun if i take off your dress." He said as he stood across the room and looked at you with a smirk.

"Oh really." You said as you walked over to him. Him quickly but softly pushing you against the bed.

Him teasing you as he removed your dress slowly.

"God, I swear I'm gonna marry you one day." He said as he looked at you admiring you. 

Placing a condom on his length as he entered you and you buried your face into his neck.

That day the sex was soft and loving, Nolan picturing what it would be like for you to walk down the aisle to him.

4. Only I get to make you feel this way.

100/10

Woowee.

Made me wet

You and Nolan had just gotten back from celebrating a win with the boys. Them deciding that it was a good idea to go to the bar a few minutes away from the wells fargo center.

You sat on one of the bar stools as you talked to Sophie (Phil's girlfriend) and Nolan and the others stood on the far side of the bar.

When some random dude approached you as she left to go to the bathroom.

"What is a pretty lady like you doing at the bar all alone." He asked with a slight slur to his words.

"What thats the best flirting skill you got up your sleeve?" You asked, letting out a small laugh at his attempt to get in your pants.

Nolan quickly watching the situation go down. He wasn't quite happy that there was a guy making you laugh and that he was so close to you. As soon as the guy placed his calloused hand on your thigh Nolan walked over.

"Come on Y/N we're heading home." He said.

"Aww come on dude let her have some fun." 

"My girlfriend doesn't want to have fun with you." He said as he sized up to him and you grabbed his hand and walked out. You knew you were in for it when you got home seeing the way his knuckles turned white as he held down on the steering wheel.

Quickly getting home as he walked into your guys room expecting you to follow.

~~~~~

Quickly and roughly removing your clothes.

As he looked at you and said "only i get to make you feel this way." He said as he lined up at your entrance and thrusted into you. You knew you were definitely going to be sore tomorrow morning.

5. boobies *blows raspberries*

7/10

Kinda odd but fun.

Hey if he's a boob guy he's a boob guy.

Nolan and you had just gotten back from a date. Having had a few drinks and being a bit tipsy. Both being quite funny people after two or three drinks. 

Walking hand in hand back to your apartment just enjoying each other's presence.

"Babe can we make out?" Nolan asked as he sat on the couch. 

"Sure why not." You said loving the feeling of his warm lips on yours.

Both kissing softly as he worked his way down to nip at your neck. He removed your shirt as his cold skin raised goosebumps on yours.

"Boobies." He said as he blew raspberries into your boobs.

You laughed as he then looked up at you and placed one more kiss on your lips.

"You are so weird you know that." 

"Yeah but you love it."  And honestly yeah you did. You loved Nolan and your events in the bedroom because it was always different, and fun, and exciting.

[juliasjustanidiot]

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗲𝗻 | c!technoblade

the scent of estrogen - c!technoblade x reader

synopsis: trying to tell technoblade that you’re pregnant is much harder than it seems. especially when he’s already got a great big deal of stress of his back.

no pronouns mentioned, suggests female.

tw: pregnancy, vomit, uhhhh that’s it?

wc: 1.3K

you gazed at your partner with a big grin, watching as he looked through all of his chests, restocking his potions and fed his emotional support polar bear, steve. ecstatic, you couldn’t wait to tell him the big news that you had for him. being out in the middle of a tundra biome, not a lot of stuff happened, so when stuff as big as this comes up, you get giddy.

“what?” techno said rather gruffly, turning around slightly as he noticed your staring. his tone wiped the grin right off your face, a sinking feeling residing in your stomach.

“never mind,” you look away defeated. he sighed and went back to his work of brewing potions. 

being shut down immediately before you could get a word out hurt. it stripped any excitement you had. but you then remembered the news again and can’t help yourself but start smiling all goofily. surely he’d be just as excited as you. 

you subtly glanced over at techno, checking to see if he was still busy. there he sat, crushing up some blaze rods and sprinkling the powder in the strange purple liquid. 

you were surprised he hadn’t caught on already. i mean surely he can tell something is up right? doesn’t the extra estrogen give off some sort of pregnancy scent? you thought, contemplating when you were going to pop out the big news.

he turned again to get a look at you, seeing your smile again.“what? why do you keep looking at me like that?” techno responded to the staring after he caught your glance again, seeming even more agitated. your smile was snatched once again, now was not the time to tell him the one thing that might change his life forever.

“god, keep your panties on,” you said in a bitter tone, matching his own. “i was just going to…uh….let you know that… we need more potatoes! yes! we’ve run low and i want to cook something with potatoes, so i’m going to go get some,” you made up with your oh so creative mind.

“we have a whole sack full-”

“love you! bye!” you said, interjecting while giving him a kiss on the cheek and made a beeline for the door. you let out a sigh as you closed the door and headed off for what was assumed to be a trip to get potatoes. 

you had to tell him at some point, but how? it’s not like it was planned or anything. it wasn’t even clear that he wanted a baby. all of these doubts and worries crowded your head as you headed out, walking a little ways away from the cabin making your way to the potato farm.

your feelings were all mixing around inside of you like you were a pot of soup thanks to all the hormones pumping through your veins. all of those feelings made you queasy but you kept going because you had nothing better unless you wanted to stare at your boyfriend and hope that he could sense your big secret. 

on your journey, you noticed someone was already there. it was phil. you hadn’t exactly planned on telling anyone else yet. you decided to head back home and avoid conversation for now, but then he started calling out to you. “damnit,” you said under your breath as you turned to him with the biggest neighborly smile you could force. “hey, phil!” you forced out, “it’s so nice to see you!”

“what brings you here?” he said, coming over. you noticed he had his armor on along with his satchel. he held a pickaxe in hand which told you he had just gone mining. “i’m on a scavenger hunt, actually, phil. supposedly, my long lost father’s netherite collection that he left for me in scavenger hunt format. it will essentially make me the richest person in the land.”

“really?” phil said with a hint of interest.

“no, i’m here to pick potatoes, genius,” you said, over this social interaction. you just wanted to pick your potatoes and leave, after all you were still feeling a bit sick. maybe it was the fact that techno seemed all angry and annoyed at you, or maybe it was the actual pregnancy itself.

“funny, you’re really funny,” he said ironically, picking the biggest potato in front of him and tossed it up and down as you began to get a little sweaty in the cold cold tundra. “are you okay? you look pale,” he mentioned while turning his head slightly, examining your face. right then and there all of your breakfast escaped from your mouth onto the dirt and a couple of unfortunate potatoes.

“holy jesus, that tasted like crap,” you wheezed out while you wiped your mouth with your hand, feeling absolutely awful.

“geez, okay, what are you, pregnant?” he joked, rushing over to you and placing a comforting hand on your back. you stare at him wide-eyed and intense. he could definitely smell the pregnancy hormones. you could see his face drop in awe after he saw the pure anxiety on yours. “oh god, y/n, are you pregnant?!” he let out a small wail.

“yes, so shut up and get me some water and a place to sit down before i lose another meal,” you ordered him, still feeling extremely ill. morning sickness is a bitch.

you both walked over to phil’s cabin, across from techno’s, and he found you a seat on an old chair and went to go and get a bottle of water. you sat, zoned out, still trying to get over the fact that someone knew before you got to tell your baby daddy that he is a baby daddy. rubbing your fingers on your temples, you mentally pulled yourself together and prepared to practically be on a talk show where all your personal life gets leaked out into the open.

phil walked in with a big glass filled with water. before he could even open his mouth, you blurted, “i know you have questions, so i’m just going to give you all the facts i have. techno is the father and he does not know yet.” phil handed you the water and you gulped it down slow enough not to get sick but fast enough to satisfy your dried out mouth.

“do you plan on telling him?” he asked genuinely curious. you were slightly offended by this question considering how much phil knows you love techno.

“of course i do, he was just in a terrible mood. i wasn’t going to give him the biggest news of his life if he’s distracted. we both know why he’s in that state of mind,” you answered, remembering back to him telling you about quackity’s recent visit. techno was to go to the prison to visit dream. you had a terrible feeling about it, but techno was actually considering it. 

why would he trust quackity? the dude literally brought an army to capture techno and almost executed him had dream not stepped in. he would’ve lost one canon life and you were not going to have that happen again to your husband. you told him your worries and the piglin hybrid said he would take them into consideration.

“i know this is none of my business, but i would tell him. you shouldn’t have to go through this alone because life is ticking him off. raise your standards,” he suggested to you. phil’s words were actually quite comforting. there is no reason you should be puking in potato fields for him. he should be holding your hair back and putting ice packs to your forehead.

“thanks, phil,” you said as you moved away and grabbed a sack that was lying on the ground. quickly you picked some potatoes and headed home. at this point, the sickness had passed, and now you were feeling a little delayed rage. 

you swung the door open to the home you and your boyfriend shared for quite some time now and walked over to where techno was still messing around with potions. he looks over at you, but before he could say anything you slammed the sack filled with potatoes on the chest.

“i’m pregnant.”

·  · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── ·  ·  

written by @faithajo24​ & edited by me.

taglist: @aiyncel @etheriaaly

[bonesandthebees]

[They were cool to look at, but expensive. Meaning this guy must’ve really liked that cartoon hedgehog.] You know what? I’m gonna count this as foreshadowing what kinda club this is. It’s Conner, so obviously it’s because he likes the hedgehog, but it’s also very clear how rich he is. So, of course, it’s a strip club making bank. Man’s got money to spend on a hedgehog tattoo made out of lights without even batting an eye. (It’s such a cool visual btw.)

I love the entire [“Is he even old enough to be here?”] thing for Tommy. Obviously he gets ignored, because he would just lie. It’s funny how he goes to Wilbur first and only then to Phil to confirm. Maybe it’s a test because he doesn’t know him, maybe it’s just because Wilbur is the closest person.

Again it’s foreshadowing for what kind of club this is. And the second Wilbur realises that his recently found older brother instinct kicks in. I’m sure Phil and Techno very much see that brotherly relationship for what it is now. Techno even approves! Tommy is a kid after all!

Oh and I forgot to mention it before, but I’m sure Tommy didn’t like the fact that Wilbur hadn’t told him Techno made him go down the stairs in the dark. It’s that childish possession. And if he doesn’t then he probably won’t like learning about Niki. Either way, it’s the moment Tommy might realise that Wilbur doesn’t tell him everything (which he doesn’t need to do, nor would it be healthy.) and he might not like that.

Anyway, it’s Foolish time! I love him! He’s so causal and bouncy. No qualms about ramming his car into a wall. Dissing them for not being able to escape the police. [“Actually can I get some pizza?”] 10/10. Great character. Slightly less great that he’s here, especially for Wilbur and Tommy who just so happened to never mention that they had run into him before.

(1/?)

-🌲

LMAO I'm so glad you found the visual of the hedgehog tattoo cool. I was like "how tf do I make a cyberpunk design for connor" and then I was like yknow what he's just gonna have a really cool light up tattoo of sonic. bc he would. he's a rich strip club owner who has a tattoo of sonic on his arm. love that guy

connor originally asked wilbur how old tommy was mostly bc the two of them were standing shoulder to shoulder so yeah, wilbur was just the closest guy. he can also at least tell that wilbur is older than tommy, but then he decides to get a second opinion from phil (who he actually knows) just to make sure

if phil and techno were actually worried about tommy walking through a club like that they wouldn't have brought him but he's 18 he's not gonna be scarred for life 😭 techno just approves of wilbur covering tommy's eyes because he thinks it's funny

yeahhhh tommy definitely wasn't happy learning that wilbur didn't mention that whole thing with the stairs and the dark. he just doesn't get why wilbur wouldn't mention something like that to him (it's because wilbur really wasn't that bothered by it + had other things on his mind and just didn't think about it). it wasn't that important, but to tommy it's important bc it's that possessiveness like you said

I love foolish especially writing his dialogue. he does not care about ramming a car into a wall he's just vibing (and is hopefully gonna get some pizza from connor after this whole meeting). rip wilbur and tommy though they are about to get bit in the ass