#phone sex buddie is coming soon so figured it's the perfect time for a tag list now haha

[wikiangela]

gonna finally make a tag list

so, if you wanna be tagged whenever I post new fics, please interact with this post

[cookiesupplier]

What She Needs (nsfw)

pairing: Chris Motionless x ofc (Alexis)

warnings/tropes: smut, cockwarming, p in v intercourse, unprotected sex, friends with benefits, pining.

summary: Lex can't focus worth a damn when it comes to trying to study for exams, but thankfully, Chris her best friend and fuck buddy, helped her figure out the best way to get around that problem awhile ago, and he's more than happy to help.

author’s note: Unbeta’d, this might never change, lol.

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @nyxthedestroyerofworlds

If there is one thing that Alexis hates about being in college, it's when exam season is approaching, because trying to study is always the worst for her. She can never seem to focus when she needs to just sit down and pull out her books and get to studying for her exams.

Oh, the amount of people that had given her advice, from her parents to her friends, to her classmates and professors, even in study groups. There was setting study periods, and writing up time tables, having a study plan and trying to keep to it, setting out her study space and keeping it organized.

Nothing helped her. She always spaced and she just couldn’t focus. Her brain went everywhere at once and she could never focus on just one thing when she tried to study, it was all over the place. It was like the moment she needed to study, the moment she had exams, a switch went off in her brain.

She couldn’t fail again. Alexis had failed too many times and her parents were threatening to cut her off if she didn’t get her act together. It wasn’t like she wasn’t trying, she was desperate, and thank fuck her professor liked her, and could see how hard she was working. Her assignments in class were gold, it was just studying for her finals that destroyed her. Yet, they were worth so much of her grade, and she just couldn’t keep crashing and burning on them.. It couldn’t keep happening.

That was where Chris came in.

Chris had been her best friend forever, and best friend had become benefits a few years back.. For her benefits were a bit less than what she really felt for him, but with him working on becoming a big rock star, Lex never wanted to be the one to hold him back. So, here they were, when he was home, Lex got as much Chris time as she could, and when he was gone, she badgered him on the phone.

He just so happened to be home coinciding with finals season, which was perfect timing, and not something that she always got because explaining this to her last attempt at dating had just turned out… weird. Chris never made her feel weird.

It also never felt quite the same with anyone but Chris. Possibly because of just how big his cock was.

Anyone that had seen Chris cock would understand, but really, none of the guys she's dated other than him could compare to the way he made her feel when he was inside her. Might also be that Chris knew what he was doing, and he seemed to enjoy it as much as she did, instead of making her feel, well, strange.

Opening her door to her dorm, her roommate was spending the night with her boyfriend, she knew by now that when she said she was inviting Chris over for a study session, that it wasn’t something she was going to want to be here for, even if she was really going to be studying. Smiling seeing Chris on the other side of the door, the fact that he was standing there, inconspicuous, unaccosted, told her he’d made it in without incident, while the band wasn’t massive, they were known enough that girls had noticed him on campus last time..

“Hey, Lexi Baby.”

Stepping into the room, Chris didn’t hesitate to pull her into a kiss as he closed the door behind him with a kick of his boot.

“Hey Cerulli, pants off.”

“Yea yea, I know, just using me for my body, as always, I know how it is.”

Laughing,

“Fuck you, you know how finals get, soon as they are over you get to do whatever you want with me, fair play and you know it, the next two weeks, you are all mine.”

Chris smirked as his hands reached down in front of him as he walked towards her slowly, his fingers running along the leather of his belt and sliding the strap out of the loops so he could pull it back and undo the front.

“You said whatever you want with me, baby, but really, you just mean my cock, and we both know it.”

Lex tried not to grin, or blush, she wasn’t embarrassed, she wasn’t. She wasn’t even ashamed, what she was, was a little giddy with the way Chris made her feel. The tingle between her legs had already started long before he had gotten here, and it actually had nothing to do with studying if she was honest. Their friends with benefits, fun, hadn’t started because of the studying, the studying had been something they’d discovered by accident because of the fact she couldn’t handle how badly she was failing, and Chris had wanted to comfort her.

Boy had that comfort fucking helped in ways neither of them had expected.

Chris pushed his pants, and his boxers down around his knees and sat at her desk, positioning her chair as she slid down her panties from her thighs, she was already fucking soak. Once she got them off, before she toss them aside, he snatched them from her hand, and feeling how wet they were, he knew, and groaned before he smirked,

“I love how worked up you get. Come on, study time.”

Reaching for her hip with one hand, nothing more, and wrapping his fingers around his cock, stroking himself, his thumb brush over his tip and gathering up the pre cum that had started to gather and spreading it down his cock. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t been thinking about this the whole drive over here. Was it fucked up to admit he actually looked forward to these sessions? Yes he was helping Lex, his best friend, but damn, being balls deep inside of her was the most fucking perfect feeling in the world. Having her just sitting on his cock, her velvety heat, wrapped around him, leaning back, practically throbbing, sometimes he swears he can fucking heat her heartbeat in her pussy through his cock.

It was fucking surreal and he absolutely loved it.

He was going to hate it when she finished her degree and didn’t need to study anymore.

This was her final year.

Had he made sure he was going to be home, and ready and willing for her to use him all the way through when she needed to study for finals? Fucking, hell yes he had!

As he held himself, Lex hiked up the skirt of her loose short dress, and leaned her ass back, with Chris’ hand on her hip, leaning forward a little against her desk, backing up, he lined himself up to her pussy and moaned as she felt him run the head of his cock along her slit. With that she lowered herself down, slowly pushing him inside of her, and groaned as he filled her, inch, by inch, and it was perfect, he was perfect.

It was like that big cock, filling up her cunt, just pushed every other thought from her head, and wiped everything from her mind that she didn’t need. Letting all the mess, all the chaos flit away, and she leaned back against his chest with a sigh as she rocked back against him as she settled for just a moment.

“Time to study Lexi Baby.”

That was how it went, Chris let her use him, and his cock, to study. Ever since the time he’d literally fucked all the thoughts out of her head, and she’d had the most perfect study session in the world. So far anyway. Since then, they’d just gotten even better, at least the ones when Chris was involved.

So Lex set to study, Chris kept his hands to himself, he knew better than to distract her while she was studying, he was so handsy, and the moment he touched her he’d be gone. Like this, he behaved, like this, he knew what he was do, he behaves, and he was so fucking good for her. Truth was, he needed this, realizing how much he enjoyed her using him like this, he didn’t tried it with other girlfriends, but it just wasn't the same. It was good, it was fine, it just wasn’t… Lex.

An hour passed.

Two.

Chris was sitting back, his eyes closed, still as anything. His hands gripping the chair, swallowing at the way he felt every pulse run through her in his cock, fuck…

Finally, Lex dropped her pen down to her desk with a sound of victory, and was clenching around him in reaction to her enjoyment drawing a fucking loud groan out of Chris when she did.

“Go on, have your fun, I know you’re just desperate to, by now.”

Oh, Chris was desperate, in so many ways, but she had no clue really what for.

“Fuck, anything for you Lexi Baby.”

She had no idea. He didn’t get up right away though,

“Arms up.”

She did, lifted her arms, and he was lifted up her dress, tossing it aside, and just like that she was left without a stitch of clothing on her body, and he groaned,

“Fuck, not even wearing a bra for me, Suck a good girl, arn’t you.”

His hands grasped her hips as he stood up from the chair, bending her over the desk,

“Hands.”

They were immediately flat on the desk by her books to support her as he started to fuck into her, as hard, and as deep as he could fucking go. Fingers dug deep into her hips, there was no way he wasn’t going to be leaving marks on her perfect milk skin, he might have perfectly illustrated skin, but she was an almost pure canvas. Chris loved it though, watching the bruises bloom over her skin from his fingers, his lips, his teeth.

Pounding his cock into Lex, she cried out at the sheer force in which Chris claimed her body. He’d gone from one extreme to the other in seconds, and if anyone asked her how much she loved it, there would be no words. He could fuck her hoarse and she would thank him. More than once she’d gotten warnings from the RA on her dorm floor when they did this, which was why when a scream slipped out this time he pulled her up and shoved two fingers into her mouth.

“As much as I like those screams, you’re going to pass those exams like a good fucking girl, and one more reprimand and we’ll both be in trouble, wont we, Lexi Baby?”

Whimpering around his fingers as he continued to fuck into her from behind, his other hand reaching around her, rubbing furiously at her clit, fuck, she wasn’t going to last.

“Go on, cum on my cock, that pretty pussy is fucking prime.”

That was all it took, she shuddered as she clenched around him, cumming around his cock, sucking on his fingers even harder with a moan as she did, keeping her mouth occupied so she didn’t scream out yet again.

“Such a good girl. Keep going.”

His fingers stayed hooked into her mouth as he continued to fuck into her, his thrust becoming harder, and a bit sloppy as he got closer until he could barely hold back and then with a last shuddering shove of his cock he was cuming inside of her. Lex could feel him, feel the warm of her filling her with his cum and fuck, when he pulled out, she knew it would start spilling between her thighs, she’d be a mess, and enjoy every second of it.

“Fuck.” Chris hadn’t even pulled out of her yet when he was sitting back in the chair, and bringing her down with him, enjoying being inside of her, just like he was earlier. Nuzzling the back of her neck with a groan..

“Same time tomorrow, right?”

Humming, her head tilting back against his shoulder a little as her hand settled against his bare thigh and her fingers squeezed lightly.

“Yep.. but maybe I’m not done with you tonight. As good as your body is Cerulli, how bout a movie?”

Feeling his lips curl into a smile against her skin against her neck,

“Sounds good to me, Baby.”

[ravipanikkar]

This is a list of my favorite Buddie fic, they’re in no particular order and I’ll add as I found new one. I’ll post only finished fic, the ones I’ll read over and over, with a little summary by me and a couple of tags. Hope you like them as i did! 

One shot

Live in Me, Jerusalem [AO3] by @matan4il [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

3,175 words 1/1 chapter

established Buddie | nsfw | Jewish!Buck | Catholic!Eddie

This is just a little snippet of a world in which Buck and Eddie are a couple and Buck is Jewish, with all the heaviness of the hate he received as a kid. There are 4 part of the series, each one focusing on a part of Buck and Eddie's relationship but with a strong focus on religion. This one in particular is about a specific part of Buck life as a Jew and how he opens it to Eddie. And they have sex, yes.

I love every fic by matan4il, and this one is easily my favorite.

Gentleman Callers [AO3] by lesbianettes/ @milkymarjan   [ AO3 | Tumblr ] 

10,487 words 1/1 chapter

british!Buck | nsfw | there's some plot

This one is really nsfw. Eddie's feeling pretty lonely in LA after the move and calls a sex line, where he meets Evan. Yes, here Buck as an English accent and this is a good 50% of the reasons i love this fic!

Yes, there's sex here too, mostly phone sex and I have to admit it's very well written! 

Other notable work from lesbianettes it's Curves and Edges.

Oh Captain (My Captain), Our Fearful Trip is Done [AO3] by @princessfbi  [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

22,873 words 1/1 chapter

established Buddie | hostage situation | angst and hurt 

What would happen if a band of bud guys enter the station? And then kidnap Bobby and Buck? What if Buck is so tired and sick that he can't almost stay awake? Ever wondered how the firefam would do if they have to watch Buck being hurt? Then this fic is for you!

It's extremely realistic in the most adrenalinic scenes and even in the sweet one ( I love my dad!Bobby, okay?).

I'd love to add some other works from Princessfbi but not only i can't choose, i just added more to my list! 

Frequent Flyer [AO3] by red_to_black / @redtooblack [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

13,464 words 1/1 chapter

Buck is not a firefighter | still unlucky as always | a nsfw scene but not buddie 

Buck is still trying to find his way so he changes job like every day, almost, but his bad luck keeps following him. And every time he, or someone for him, has to call 911 here comes the firefam, with Eddie. In this fic there are a lot of different scenes with Buck in needs of help, not always for himself and one time he's naked, that are amazingly thought and written, with the best firefam. 

I, Hildy is another of my favorite fic by red_to_black 

an unplanned proclamation [AO3] by autumnchills/ @lovebuck   [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

1,909 words 1/1 chapter

coming out story | loving firefam | technically not buddie

This is really easy to describe: Buck comes out to the firefam. But there's so much more! How he feels, the anxiety, the fear and the love! It feels like a rollercoaster in the best way possible. Highly recommend to every LGBTQ+ people that need something good.

This is the only fic I read from autumnchills, so as soon as I catch up I'll add something here

Multi chapters

maybe one day i'll fly next to you [AO3] by spinningincircles/ @tylerhunklin [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

35,914 words 8/8 chapters

Skating AU | nsfw 

Buck and Eddie are world famous figure skaters and they hate each other. Okay, not for long but the progression of their relationship is sweet and lovely and yes angsty but aren't we here for that?

This fic is one of my favorite AU, the firefam is so close and strong as ever, especially the Buckley siblings. I loved loved Buck and his feeling for the sport, for his own worth. Definitely a good read!

I love spinningincircles dabbles series, lots of one shot that i have yet to finish because i don't want to or i'll have to wait for more!

 Oh, well. [AO3] by @justapoet   [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

19,091 words 4/4 chapters

Poet!Buck | hospital | suicide thoughts

Buck finds a way to cope with his life and it's writing poems in his little notebook. And he is really really good at it! The poem not the coping so much 'cause we know (or should I say the good writer is justapoet technically?). But he never shows them to anyone, until Eddie and Maddie find them, all of them, especially the last one.

For Buck is like having his heart in their hands, and they are the best hands that could handle it, right? 

This fic is sweet, and hard, the poems are so heavy with all Buck feels. I loved the "And?" at the end (you'll get way) because in that single word i felt everything.

justapoet wrote only another buddie fic and it's I adjust the spring for you to follow me with your eyes which everyone should read right now! 

Series (technically not completed but readable as one shots)

White House AU [AO3] by buddiebuddie/ @buddie-buddie    [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

191,910 words 15 works (but one is like 30 chapters and going)

White House AU | no firefighters | nsfw

It’s an ongoing AU with Buck as the President of USA and Eddie as his bodyguard, and so much more! The firefam is there, Maddie and Chris too.

I love politics and this fic is the perfect mix to one of my favorite OTP ever and the White House universe. 

The Tremor 'verse [AO3] by Nibbles84/ @eddie-diaz-buckley    [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

22,365 words 6 works

Established Buddie | NavySEAL!Buck | chronic illness | nsfw 

It this AU Buck and Eddie are married, the first is an ex SEAL and the second is the firefighter, but Buck as also a chronic illness. It’s not an easy series of fic, is hard and heavy with real life problem for the both of them, but the love, the sweetness and the support they have for each other is astonishing! 

the outsider's pov, navy seal!buck au that got out of hand [AO3] by  coupe_de_foudre/ @a-beautiful-struggle-of-life   [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

8,339 words 6 works

Established Buddie | NavySEAL!Buck | external POV

This series is about a well established Buddie, even married in some, and there’s also Shannon! But it’s from an external point of view, 5 from Ana and one from Abuela. This series as everything, not much angst but I’m not complaining, from the sweetest Christopher ever to Buck and Shannon relationship. 

- other to come - 

[sisterspooky1013]

As Ethan Sees It

Author:SisterSpooky1013

Rating: Mature

Words: 3698

Read it on AO3 Here

Tagging @today-in-fic

The first thing I’d noticed about her was how self-assured she was, particularly in contrast to her diminutive stature. I’d been grabbing lunch at a local deli between classes and some high school kids were picking on a third boy who may have been a classmate. Everyone in line was just ignoring it, looking away, when this tiny redhead steps out of line and walks up to the tallest, bulkiest guy in the group and tells him to fuck off, in so many words. She barely reached his shoulder and was probably 100lbs soaking wet, but she had no problem standing up for the little guy. After I picked up my order, I noticed her sitting alone at a table near the window and asked if I could join her. She was hesitant, but agreed and listened politely while I told her how impressed I was by her bravado with those kids. That’s when I noticed the second thing about her; her incredible smile. It was like the first burst of sunlight over the horizon in the morning, blinding in its beauty. I introduced myself and learned that her name was Dana, and she had just moved to DC to accept a job with the FBI. We talked for so long I missed my class, but I didn’t care. I was fascinated by her. Aside from being strikingly beautiful with rich auburn hair and porcelain skin, her blue eyes some intoxicating shade of blue I had never seen before, she was also wickedly smart. She seemed to know about everything, any topic that came up she could speak to, and I learned more during that 90 minute conversation than I probably would have if I’d made it to class. She was a doctor, and a scientist, and even the way her voice sounded was enchanting to me, the S’s softly sibilant as they poured from her pouty pink lips. She had realized the time and stood suddenly to leave, and I was so flustered by our impromptu date ending so abruptly that I stupidly forgot to get her phone number. The sinking feeling in my gut when I realized this fact, right about the time her cab disappeared into a sea of other cabs, still ranks as one of the worst moments of my life.

I thought about her every single day for two weeks. I talked about her every single day for two weeks, until my roommates begged me to either figure out a way to get in touch with her, or shut the hell up. All I knew about her was her first name, that she had recently graduated from Stanford, and that she works at the FBI. First I tried calling the FBI and asking for Dana, but they had more than one Dana who worked there and were unwilling to let me try them one by one. Next I contacted Stanford and was able to have a list of the last two classes of graduates faxed to me. Thankfully, there was only one Dana on that list; Dana Scully. I called back to FBI headquarters and asked for Dana Scully, and the next thing I knew she was on the line, her sing-song voice saying “This is Dana Scully.” My mouth went dry, I forgot how to speak, how to breathe.

“Uh, um, hi, hello.”

“…Who is this?” Her tone was the one I’d heard her use with the high school bullies

“Uh, this is Ethan? From the deli, a couple weeks ago?”

“Ethan from the deli? The guy who’s getting his masters in journalism?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Oh! Hi! How…how did you get this number?”

“Well, I hope this isn’t too weird but I forgot to ask for your number and I remembered you said you worked at the FBI, so I kind of tracked you down.”

“Oh. That’s kind of sweet.”

I let out huge breath of relief.

“I’d really like to see you again, if you’re interested. It’s alright if not, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least ask.”

She was quiet for a moment but he had a feeling she was smiling.

“I’d love to, Ethan. Do you have something to write with? I’ll give you my number.”

**********************************

The first real date we had, I took her to a fancy Italian place that my buddies said was sufficiently romantic. She let me pick her up at her apartment in Georgetown and when she answered the door, I nearly passed out. She had on a strapless blue cocktail dress and tall black heels, her hair down and soft around her face. Her lips were red and plump and I wanted to kiss her right then, but I knew it was too soon. I held doors for her and watched closely for her reaction, unsure if she was the kind of woman who found chivalry insulting, but she seemed to appreciate it. She was so petite and delicate, like a beautiful bird, but also had this incredible air of confidence that made her so captivating. I was careful not to outright stare at her, so I didn’t make her uncomfortable. She told me more about herself as we ate, what she had studied in school and the things she was doing now at the FBI academy, working in forensics. She asked me about my school and my plans for after graduation, and she really listened when I talked, asking thoughtful questions and wanting to learn more about journalism and broadcasting, so eager to know as much as possible about everything she could. I told some stupid joke, and she laughed, and I think that’s when I fell in love with her. That laugh worked its way into my bones, vibrated in my blood stream and sent a shiver down my spine. I had to imagine that the only reason she was single was that she was so new to the area, because a woman like this was never single for long. I didn’t want the night to end, so I asked her out to drinks afterward and to my delighted surprise she suggested that we have them back at her place. I didn’t want to assume anything, so I didn’t make a move, just talked with her more on her sofa, learned about her family and her childhood as an army brat, her love of reading and bubble baths, her fondness for children and animals. When she leaned in and kissed me, I thought that I may be hallucinating. Maybe I was having an intensely long, lucid dream. How did someone like Dana Scully cross my path of all the places on earth she might have been, and how did I have the nerve to approach her, and how was she interested in me, and how was it possible that right then she had her tongue in my mouth on her sofa?

We didn’t have sex that first night, but it wasn’t too long before we did. And it wasn’t too long after that that we decided to be exclusive, and 6 months later that I told her that I loved her. Two weeks after that, she said it back, and for two years, we were happy. It’s typically the case that when you’re newly in love with someone you have that divine infatuation that makes you see everything about them as perfect, but over time it wears off and the things that were once cute become annoying. That never happened with Dana. I was obsessed with her, everything she did was the most incredible thing a human could accomplish or be. Aside from the megawatt smile and musical laugh, she had this sweet little beauty mark on her lip that I loved to kiss. She was witty and skilled at debate, and we’d spend evenings arguing over something like the moon landing conspiracy before fucking like animals over the back of the couch. And the sex. Oh my god the sex. She was an absolute vixen in the way she played, teased, and ultimately delivered on every promise she made, and she would smile in this self-satisfied way when she came, looking me right in the eye like she’d tricked me out of my last dollar. She could be dominant, or dismissive, sometimes one then the other in the same night. She could be anything and everything, and she was.

I loved to hear her talk about her work and new assignments she was getting, and I was so proud of her and her goals and dreams. I wanted to be right beside her as she climbed the ranks at the bureau, and knew that she would be anything she set her mind to. She was equally supportive of me as I graduated and then worked my way up at a local broadcasting company with dreams of being a news anchor. She made me feel important and worthy, showed interest in the things that I cared about and was so loyal to me that she cussed out one of my friends for making jokes at my expense. We never moved in together technically (her choice) but we slept together at one or the other’s apartment every night, rented a movie every Friday, had dinner with her parents every Sunday. Her sister, who she was close to, seemed to like me okay, and her friend Ellen confided in me that she thought I should propose soon, that Dana was ready for that step. I picked out a ring, a slender gold band with a princess cut solitaire, only half a karat because I knew she didn’t like to be flashy, and hid it in my sock drawer. Our anniversary was coming up on March 23 and I decided to do it then, which was a little ways away, but I wanted it to be perfect.

For her birthday, I took her out to dinner and she had exciting news to share. She’d been offered an assignment with an obscure unit at the FBI, requested specifically by Section Chief Blevins for her background as a scientist. I didn’t fully understand what the unit did or why they’d want Dana for it, but it was something about unsolved mysteries, by the sound of it. She was so happy and felt like this was a great sign, her big break, the fact that Blevins even knew she existed and wanted her on this team was an indication of the reputation she was building for herself there. I bought a bottle of champagne, told her how proud I was and that I couldn’t wait to hear more about it. She let me know there would be travel, it was a field agent role, and that she’d be on the road sometimes. As much as I didn’t look forward to being away from her, I couldn’t help but share her excitement at this new step in her career. That night we had the most incredible birthday/promotion sex you could imagine. I made her come three times before she finally tapped out and told me how much she loved me, and how excited she was for the rest of our lives together, how much she appreciated that I understood that her career was important, and that I supported her. If we would have been at my place, I would have grabbed the ring and proposed to her right then, but we were at hers. So I just kissed her and told her that I was the luckiest man on earth because I had the opportunity to be her partner in life.

The first day of her new assignment, she was nervous. She’d heard some stories about the agent she was going to be working with, her partner, a guy named Mulder. He sounded like somewhat of an oddball, and a ladies man to boot. I made a joke about him staying away from my woman and she rolled her eyes, had me help her choose between the plaid suit or the maroon one, kissed me goodbye and told me that she loved me and I didn’t need to worry about this or any other male agent, or male person for that matter, stealing her away. That afternoon at the station I got a message from her saying that she had to fly out to Oregon for a case they were investigating, which caught me by surprise. She had said she’d be on the road, but I didn’t expect it to happen that fast. I heard from her only once in the three days she was gone, and when she came back, she was different.

It’s hard to explain in what way she changed. She was distracted, spacey, staring into nothing when we watched TV in the evening, not really listening to what I was saying when I told her about my day. She told me a little bit about the work she was doing, but she was suddenly guarded and defensive about what she did all day, most of her sentences starting with “Mulder says...” The phone would ring at odd times, she worked late or was out of town almost constantly. I felt her slipping away. I did all I could to make things easy for her when she was home. I did all the cleaning, all her laundry. I cooked her dinner each night, though half the time she would say that she had already eaten with Mulder. She didn’t seem as interested in kissing or sex, but she would let me go down on her and I did, every night, trying to hold on to her attention and her affection with my tongue on her clit. I tried to talk to her, to ask her what was wrong, if I should be doing anything differently, and she’d say “no, of course not. Everything’s fine, I’m just tired.”

Then it was our anniversary, and I made a reservation at the same place we’d gone to that very first time. I picked up flowers for her, dahlias which I knew she loved. I went by her apartment at the agreed upon time, but she didn’t answer the door. I used my key to enter and it was quiet and cold, no sign she’d been there anytime recently. I called her office at work and Mulder answered, said she was up at Quantico performing an autopsy and could he take a message. I just hung up the phone. I went to bed at her place, and when she finally crawled in at 3am she was startled to find me there. The way she looked at me made me feel like she’d forgotten I existed, and I didn’t even bother to remind her that it was our anniversary. I decided to start fresh the next morning, with a new plan. Maybe I was being too demanding, expecting too much. Maybe this Mulder was difficult to work with and she didn’t want to bother me with horror stories. I would just have to be the most supportive, accommodating, wonderful boyfriend possible, and we could come through this together. When I woke up, she was still snoring softly beside me. I slipped my head under the covers and pushed her legs open gently, sliding her nightgown up over her hips. She stirred and moaned as I pressed my lips to her clit, kissing her there before beginning to lap at her labia, two fingers sliding inside just how she liked it. She responded readily, flexing her hips and pushing her hands into my hair, and I flipped the blankets off my head so I could see her face. I loved the way she liked to watch me, to hold my eye as she went over the edge, so intensely intimate. To my disappointment, her eyes were closed, head back against the pillow. When she came, she didn’t look at me, didn’t say anything. I crawled back up to lie beside her and when her eyes met mine they were so full of sadness it sent me into a panic.

“Dana, what’s wrong?” I implored, seeing tears welling under her blue irises.

She shook her head and scooted up so that she was sitting with her back against the headboard.

“Ethan-“ her voice caught under a sob that she quickly swallowed down.

My stomach dropped. No, this can not be happening.

“Ethan” she began again. “I care about you so much.” Tears were falling now, trailing down her alabaster cheeks and dripping off of her angular chin. “I just don’t think I can give you what you need right now.”

My mind was racing, I looked around the room like there might be something, or someone, who could help me.

“I think it might be best if we took a break for a bit. Took some space from each other.”

I sat up on my knees and grabbed her arm, suddenly regretful that I had chosen to sleep naked.

“Dana, what are you talking about? We don’t need space. I don’t need space from you!”

She closed her eyes. “Ethan, it’s not fair to you. I can’t be available to you right now. My new assignment, I’m just so busy-“

“No, it’s okay, Dana. I know you work more now but I don’t mind, I’ll always be here when you come home. I support you, I support your work, you know that.”

Pulling her arm from my grasp, she stood and went to her dresser. Pulled on panties and then jeans before stripping off her nightgown and putting on a bra and sweater. “Ethan. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. It’s just not a good time for me, right now.”

“Is it that Mulder guy? Is he making moves on you?” I hated how desperate my voice sounded.

“No, Ethan. This has nothing to do with Mulder, he’s been nothing but professional. This is about me, and what I need right now. What I’m capable of. And I’m just not in a good place for a relationship, I’m sorry. I need some time.”

She was standing near her bedroom door, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She was ready to walk out.

“How much time? How much time do you need?”

She looked at the floor and whispered “I don’t know.”

I slid off the bed and went to her, dropped to my knees on the floor, wrapping my arms around her hips as I pressed the side of my head into her belly.

“Please don’t do this. We can work through it. I love you, I love you so much. I’ll do whatever you need, just tell me.” The humiliation of begging on my knees while nude makes my skin crawl to this day.

She put her hand on my head, petting my hair as she often did. I felt hot tears drip from her eyes and fall against my scalp. “What I need is for you to let me go” she finally said, and she sounded very sad but also very resolute.

“I’m going to go to my mothers for the day, and I’d like you to pack up the things you have here. You can leave your key on the table. I’ll call you soon, to see how you’re doing, okay?”

“Dana, no, I won’t let you go. Please let me try to make this better.” I clung to her like a child, physically keeping her from leaving me. She crouched down and kneeled in front of me, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me softly on the lips, once.

“You have been a wonderful boyfriend, Ethan. You have loved me so well. I don’t want you to think that this is your fault, okay? You are the best. I just can’t be with someone right now. I know you’ll be okay.”

She stood and walked out of her apartment, pausing once at the door to look back at me, naked and destroyed on the floor in her bedroom doorway, and then she was gone.

She didn’t call me, not in a day or a week or a month. She deleted me from her life like a file she no longer needed. I didn’t know how to explain to my friends what had happened, because I didn’t really know myself. I thought about her every day, ate at restaurants around her work and apartment hoping to catch sight of her, so we could chance a meeting and maybe she’d be willing to talk. When I finally did see her, it was at a sandwich shop a few blocks from the Hoover building. She walked in looking like…well an FBI agent. Now in a black, tailored skirt suit that fit her perfectly, her hair cut shorter and more styled, her heels tall and her posture confident. A man was with her, and my stomach turned at his hand on her back, the familiar way they stood close as they waited in line. He was remarkably tall with dark features, handsome in a kind of mysterious way. I wondered if that was Mulder, assumed that it was. They sat down and I watched her face, the intensity in her eyes and the curl at her lip, recognized the way her features danced as she talked about something she found interesting, the rapturous way she listened while her male counterpart spoke. I remembered when she used to look at me that way. She must have felt my eyes on her because she looked at me suddenly, registering surprise and then sadness, offering me a tiny wave as the man turned to see who she was looking at. I gathered the rest of my sandwich and chucked it in the trash can as I stalked out, suddenly having lost my appetite. I wanted to hate her, to be angry at her betrayal, her abandonment. I wanted to hate him, for taking her from me. All I could muster was the same hallow acceptance that I had my chance, and somehow let it slip away. I just hope that he appreciates her smile as much as I do.

[aidenhollow]

( KAT MCNAMARA, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen AIDEN EVELYN HOLLOWAY? EVIE is in her SENIOR year. The Journalism Major is 24 years old & is a SCORPIO. People say SHE is CARING, COMPASSIONATE, JEALOUS and SARCASTIC. Rumors say they’re a member of WINTHROP SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that EVIE has a two-year old daughter that is back home with her parents and she hasn’t told the dad about the child. She makes money by being a burlesque dancer .  (KT. 21+. PST. She/her.)

Hello! My name is KT, Im 28 and currently awaiting a transplant! Im pretty chill, whenever Im at appointments or anything, Im always lurking on mobile and I also have discord! Which will be a better way of getting a hold of me, because I don’t ever log off out of that thing. Uhmmm, Im getting ready to get a bone marrow transplant but I have my computer with me and will bring it to the hospital once I go in. Also, feel free to message me and hit me up for plots! Here a few things on Aiden <3

Bio:

Aiden Evelyn Holloway was born to Jackie and Hank Holloway, making her the youngest child and made her younger than her twin brother, Adam by five minutes. Their older three brothers Jack, Kinsley and Felix were excited to have a pair of twins in the family.  You can say that the Holloway house was filled with laughter, crying, screaming, cursing and they got hurt a lot. Aiden and Felix were known to be double trouble when they were younger, since Felix was the youngest boy and Aiden was the youngest, the two of them bonded rather quickly. They would chase each other in the yard, while Jack and Adam worked on their cars in the garage while Kinsley worked on his motorcycle and the two youngest sometimes would climb their parent’s apple tree. In which, resulted Aiden getting her hand split opened and the four boys rushed their sister to the hospital, where their mom found out that they were climbing the tree after her and her husband told them not to. All of them ended up grounded, the three oldest brothers had to take the youngest ones to school and picked them up from their after-school activities and had to come straight home.

DEATH TW

You can say that the Holloway family had the perfect life, until one rainy night where their father was coming home from his office when a truck rear-ended his car. Jackie was working twelve nights straight that night and had to see her husband on a stretcher. Throughout the night, they didn’t know if he was going to be able to make it.  That December, they had to bury their father, and nothing was the same again. Aiden noticed that her mom worked overtime a lot more, her older brothers picked up other jobs and her double trouble buddy ended up distant and cold. She knew that Adam was struggling, she was struggling herself. As she grew up, Aiden often turned towards superheroes, skateboarding and anything that would catch her attention more than five seconds.

DRUGS, DEATH TW

About three years after Hank’s death, Aiden started to notice that her mother would wear makeup and bring a duffel bag to work. She started to follow her with her bike, until she saw that her mother was going on secret dates and seeing someone new. She sped home and told her twin brother about what she had seen, and j was asleep in front of the tv. She would go onto the roof to look at the stars, hoping that they would some kind of answers and then she would go on a search for a party, knowing that she can get score some drugs and alcohol. Nothing would help her cope with the loss of her dad, but that didn’t mean she gave up trying. She met a guy named Roman, who you can say is the “bad boy” of the school and had been living with his grandmother. She wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, it was more of a toxic relationship and she was addicted to it. They would often fight for two days and make up like they never said hateful words to each other. However, that all stopped when Aiden spotted Roman with another woman and turned out that he was also dating the girl. So, that kind of made her straighten up a bit, along with her brothers holding an intervention for her to get help to cope with their father’s death.

PREGNANCY TW

Two years later, Aiden graduated from high school with a GPA of 4.0 and full ride (Thanks to George for helping her out a bit) to Yates. Aiden didn’t want to leave without her twin, so she asked Adam to tag along and he got accepted into University of Vermont-Johnson, that way she wouldn’t get home sick. Aiden also got accepted into the Winthrop Society, where she felt that she belonged and called home for the next four or five years. However, one thing that Aiden didn’t plan for, was having a daughter at twenty-one. One night, during a heavy make out session in the parking lot of the Sugar Shack, a burlesque club where she was working, she snuck away with some guy after her shift and ended up having a one night stand. She quickly slipped out of his car when she noticed that he was on the phone and headed straight to her car, with her clothes in her hands. Fast forward nine months later, she welcomed a beautiful baby girl named Odette Evelyn Holloway and promised that she was going to give her a great childhood like she had when she was younger. She never contacted the father, since she doesn’t remember the name and figured that it would be a waste anyway, she accepted that she would be a single mother and knew that she could do it. Especially with the help of her brothers and friends. However, she knows that Yates has a reputation to uphold, she made a deal with her brothers that they act like Odette is their baby sister in public but behind closed doors and to close family & friends, she’s Aiden’s daughter.  Recently, Aiden’s been sending money to her brothers and Odette, to make sure that they’ll keep a roof over their heads while she’s studying Creative Writing. She also thought of a book idea, which can be considered as a Young Adult novel.

 WANTED CONNECTIONS:

sex money feelings dies - a one-night stand but on top of that a frequent hook up. every time they say that they won’t hook up with each other again. it’s not healthy, you both want past the relationship and let it go, but the moment y’all see each other from across the bar or at a party you just know you’ll end up in each other’s bed again. -OPEN

 i saw you in a dream - they were close. so close. thought there would never be a time they wouldn’t talk, but one thing lead to another and Aiden’s left thinking about them when it’s just her and her thoughts. without them in her life really hasn’t been the same, but is it worth getting past what happened to pick up the phone and call them?- OPEN

painkiller  - best friends forever. literally. this person knows Aiden inside out and she can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially her painkiller. She tells them everything and them back to her. they can tell if she’s feeling down just by the way she send her snapchat streaks that morning. She can’t see a day without them.- OPEN

 call your girlfriend - this one is pretty messy. one of them is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between the muses. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way... YIKES- OPEN?

Looks a lot like a tragedy now- details will come soon <3- Miles

perfect places- party buddies but make it you guys just getting lost in the vibes because you don’t want to deal with life. it’s a good friendship. you guys get the thoughts in your head to go numb, but at a point it’s like what’s the point ?- OPEN

will add more if needed <3

Interesting Facts on Aiden:

Wears a leather jacket, along with sometimes combat boots but she’ll wear tennis shoes.

Has been working as a Burlesque dancer for three and a half years, goes by the name Cherry Bomb. Her parents doesn’t know that she’s been getting her money from there.

Has a two-year old daughter named Odette Evelyn Holloway, born on the 9th of December. She makes sure to Facetime her every night and ends up reading her favorite book to her, which she has a lot of favorite books.

Has a rough time trusting people right away because of past trauma, but has a few people who she trusts with her secret and her life.

Sometimes skateboards to classes or to her brothers’ house, learned how to skateboard back in her middle school days.

Won’t pass up the chance to put someone into their place, though she comes off timid when you first meet her. 

Has a rose tattoo on her right hip, wanting to get a sleeve on her left arm, but isn’t for sure.

Wears wigs when she’s working and covers up her tattoo with makeup. 

[utsmythe]

i should’ve worshiped him sooner

TAGGING: Sebastian Smythe & Blaine Anderson

WHEN: 22 APR 2020 1800

WHERE: sebastian and sam’s dorm room

WHAT: blaine is invited over for a study session

Blaine

Blaine hated finals. He’d always done well with big projects and exams, but that was really only because he was such a perfectionist that he’d spend the hours and hours studying that it took to learn everything. That, and his brain’s natural inclination to memorize facts and details. He was miserable the entire time he studied, though, sitting in bed surrounded by his history of music text book and a solfege instructional, hoping that he could remember just a little bit more about the string instruments used in classic Greek songwriting. Even with his pharmaceutical ability to stay awake, Blaine loathed any time spent studying. Laying back with a huff, he reached for the phone by his pillow, he pulled open his text messages, firing something off. If he was going to study, it may as well be with someone who was actually good company. Plus, he was still trying to figure Sebastian out. The lines between flirting and genuine interest had always been murky for Blaine. This was something that had bit him in the ass multiple times: from the guy in his calc class senior year that he’d fallen madly in love with to even Sam during his stupid, puppy-dog crush freshman year. It always ended with Blaine letting himself reciprocate feelings that he’d made up in his head. He just didn’t want to make a fool of himself by taking anything flirtatious Sebastian said seriously - letting himself get to that place. Maybe if he spent more time with the guy, he could get a better read. 

[text from Blaine to Sebastian] Any chance you’re up for having a study buddy?

Sebastian

Sebastian hasn’t left his room since that morning. It was officially the longest he had spent hidden away in his dorm room. Typically he would venture out and hide away in the library. But today he didn’t need distractions. He needed to get this paper completely written. He was twenty pages into the paper now. The thoughts and word were blurring together. Finally, Sebastian could no longer fight his concentration and he stood up to go get coffee. He walked to his little set up and started the French press process. As he waited for the water to boil, Sebastian picked up his phone. His heart leapt when the text from Blaine came in. 

[text] Sure, coffee?

Blaine

Blaine didn't necessarily expect a reponse to come in that quickly but the little gray dots appeared. He rolled himself off the bed, pulling his backpack from were he kept it tucked by his nightstand and started to load in the books he'd just been using. 

[text] Coffee sounds great. I’ll be down soon

He popped his head into the bathroom quickly, just to be sure laying around in his bed hadn’t done something wild to his hair, but found it to be what he deemed as still acceptable despite a few small wisps of hair breaking free of the gel on the back of his neck. Heading back into the bedroom, he pulled the backpack over his shoulder and slipped on a pair of Sperry’s from his closet. He also snagged a bag of chips from his desk, thinking it seemed king of rude to come over empty handed when Sebastian was providing coffee. Luckily, Sam and Sebastian’s room was only a couple floors down, so it wasn’t long before he was knocking on the front door.

Sebastian

Sebastian blinked as he looked down at his phone. A smile stretched across his face and he looked up. When he thought he was alone, Sebastian twisted around and pumped his fist in the air. Blaine Anderson has asked to hang out with him. Ever since their phone call, Sebastian had thought about Blaine nonstop. Those beautiful brown eyes, his dreamy voice, and especially that fit body.

[text] door is open for ya.

Excitedly, Sebastian hopped over to his things and started to clean up. Frantically, he shoved aside things to make it look neat for the other. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Surely Blaine knew Sams habits AND Blaine had been there before. But this was just Sebastian and Blaine. Afterward, he went to the door and unlocked it before going to the bathroom to wash up. It was then he realized that being inside the dorm all day wasn’t a good idea. Quickly he went to his wardrobe and pulled off his stinky shirt and wiggled into a fresh one. Next was the fresh application of deodorant. He grabbed his tooth brush and put some paste on it before starting to brush his teeth quickly. Afterward, he splashed some water on his face and grabbed a plush towel. He came out of the bathroom, looking down at his watch. He went to finish doing the coffee for the both of them.May 20, 2020

Blaine

Blaine checked his phone in approaching the door, seeing the text that it would be unlocked. He still gave a little curtesy knock, just to give warning, because opening the door and pushing inside. “Hello?” he called, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him. The first thing he noticed was the more than welcome smell of coffee being made. More than comfortable in the place, since he came over with relative frequency to hang out with Sam, Blaine stepped in towards the smell of the coffee. “Hey,” he greeted, giving a little wave, his other hand gripping one strap of his bag. “Thanks for letting me come over - finals have got me out of my mind,” he chuckled.

Sebastian

sebastian dressed his coffee and brought it up to his lips. he hummed happily as the warm liquid trickled into his stomach. though, that wasn't all the was making him happy. apart from most of the drools he met, blaine was on a different level. not only was blaine mad sexy, but he had more talent and class in his right pinkie than sebastian had seen in any of his fellow classmates.

however, blaine didn't deserve sebastian's usual attention. of course sebastian wanted to jump his bones. but blaine wasn't meant for a night's worth of entertainment. no, blaine was meant to bring home to his parents and cuddle with on the couch. these thoughts left sebastian in a limbo.

he looked up from his coffee and a smile set on his face. he didn't look perfect-- just rushed. parts of his hair flopped over while a couple of strains poked out. he ran his hand over his head in some attempt to smooth out the nest on his head. "hey killer." sebastain greeted as he grabbed coffee cups. "cream and sugar?"

Blaine

Blaine returned the smile as Sebastian looked up. The other man looked fairly rumbled, hair sticking up in a way that was honestly kind of hot and more than a little endearing. Blaine gave a nod at the offer of cream and sugar. Blaine was the kind of person who could really enjoy coffee in any form, from black to the little possible you could have in a latte, but he had always thought that something a little sweet was best. “Yes, please. Thank you,” he replied. He pulled the bag off his shoulder and let it fall to the group, out of the way for the moment.

“So, what have you been up to today?” he asked, watching the other man set up their drinks.

Sebastian

the way sebastian picked his pray was upon that first sight. their presence would poor warmth into the pits of his stomach as his eyes ran over every inch of their body. in a way, sebastian had always fallen in love at first sight. his head would fill with the possibilities between them; cuddling, conversations, and of course sex. within his experience, two of those three were shut down. deep down sebastian craved it, but he was far to comfortable to open that back up.

however, looking at blaine's puppy dog eyes, sweet round face, his manly finesse and listening to his sweet voice, knowing it's compassion and thoughts were challenging sebastian's want to keep up his wall. he noted the chips and smirked. "what got there?" he asked as he reached for a bowl to dump them in. "i haven't left in about 18 hours. which is about the longest i've spent in cohabitant rooms in my entire life. what about you?"

Blaine

Blaine looked at him quizzically for a moment before remembering he was still holding the bag of chips in his hand. “Oh,” he laughed. “These. I just thought I’d bring over a snack. Doritos, nothing fancy,” he admitted, holding the blue package up a little higher. “I figured if we were staying up, we might get hungry.” It was far from healthy or nutritious, but Blaine had always been a fan of a late night snack that was more of a treat than anything else. “Sorry I had nothing better, finals coming up means lots of snacking,” he chuckled. Sebastian’s reply about what he’d been up to definitely explained why his hair had looked hastily adjusted. No one was going to have it all put together if they hadn’t left the house. “Finals that bad, huh?” he empathized - especially in close quarters with another person, being cooped up got real old real fast. “I have really just been plodding a long. Rehearsing my final piece for my piano class, rerecording some stuff for another final because I botched a chord. And most recently, trying to study but failing miserably,” he laughed. “Hence why I’m here annoying you.”

Sebastian

the way blaine forgot about it the chips in his hands was so cute; it somehow melted sebastian's frozen heart. he stepped forward to take them. "good thinking--" he replied. "don't be sorry. you're my guest. do you like pastries? i have some puffs, though i think they're kind of old since i got them about a month ago. i don't snack too much." opened them up and dumped them in the bowl. he swung around and went to the mini fridge and pulled out the puffs from the freezer. he paused for a moment and peeled back the plastic wrapping to look at them. there was a bit of annoyance on his face when he saw the freezer burn. he cursed the low quality freezer and set them aside. "they have to thaw, but after thirty minutes, it's like sweet heave on your lips. anything else i can get you?"

"it's not finals-- it's this paper." he explained. "it's about 50% of our grade. if we do even better, he'll do us a reference for law school." sebastian set aside the sweet puffs and turned to look a blaine. "if i were living in hell, i'll call the police on the utter mess that sounds like." he commented. "does this mean that i'm gonna be able to hear that sweet sweet melody of yours while you're here? because i can't think of anything better to listen to on a late tuesday night."(edited)

Blaine

Blaine handed over the chips. The mention of pastry definitely piqued his interest. Blaine was a huge lover of anything sugary and sweet. He didn’t indulge all that often, usually too busy to spend time making or eating confections, but he was definitely known to grab a cruller or a scone with his coffee when he had a moment to spare. “Thank you, that sounds really good. I’m fine, thank you, the coffee and puffs are generous enough.”

“Jeez,” Blaine breathed, that was a lot of pressure to put on a single paper. His nose scrunched up as he thought about it. “I’m sure you’ll do great on it if you’ve spent that much time with it. How far a long are you in it now?” In his major, they definitely wrote papers, but nothing quite of that importance or magnitude. He couldn’t imagine how stressful that must be; it gave him a lot of respect for the other man. He shrugged at Sebastian’s response to his own finals struggle. “It’s kind of a lot, but at least finals are starting so it’ll be over soon. Sometimes I think the anticipation is worse that putting in the actual work. Blaine chuckled slightly, shaking his head. “Trust me, it is not fit for consumption. You would not be impressed. I wrote it as a guitar piece, but I need to flesh out more instruments for this final and…ugh, it’s not good. Not yet.”

Sebastian

"got about twenty pages knocked out. maybe you can give me a second opinion on it." he said in an asking tone. he sat down on the floor between the couch and the table. "i've been working on it since last week though. it was not what i wanted to waste away my weekend doing. luckily sam threw that little party, else i think my brain would be going wild with patterns on the wall." sebastian kept his eyes on blaine. he reached his arm back so that it was stretched over the couch where blaine would sit. instead, sebastian directed his eyes down as an invitation to sit next to him on the floor. "agreed, though it feels like it drags on forever. what are you planning on working on? need somebody to write down dates for you?" he asked as he touched his laptop to turn it on. he messed with the mouse a bit and brought up the paper. as soon as his eyes landed on it, his brain started to pound in protest.

Blaine

"How long is going to be in the end?" he replied, eyebrows raised. What kind of hellscape class was this? Though, he suppose it had to be pretty serious if it was being used as a reason to write someone a reference letter for law school. He unzipped his bag and pulled out the music textbook and spiral notepad for the class and sat by Sebastian on the floor where he'd indicated. "I was just going to keep on working on studying for his history exam. So many little dates and people's names I need to make sure I have right... Maybe I can look over your paper a bit and then you can quiz me," he chuckled, opening the notebook to where the notes for this section of the class began.

Sebastian

"i've got about five pages left to meet the minimum." sebastian told him. as blaine sat down, sebastian's heart jumped. blaine was mere inches from him. he could feel the warm spread from the tips of his finger tips all the way down to his dick. sebastian had never experienced this instant turn on. he took in a deep breathe and looked at his computer. this is not help his dick from knocking on his door. he took in a deep breathe and thought about other things. this stupid paper. going to see his therapist. ducks. he pressed his lips together as he nodded his head. oh good, he can think about the sexiness of history dates. "yeah, i can run dates and names with you. and i would love that. i need to know if you'd vote for me or not." he smiled wildly. "how about we run yours first. i think i need a break from this."

Blaine

"Wow... that's a long paper. Is that how things normally are in your major? Or is it just because it's worth so much?" Blaine rested his back against the edge of the couch, sitting criss-cross with the notebook in his lap. That sounded like a good plan to him. He was honestly really interested in what kind of writer Sebastian was. He seemed really smart - eloquent. "Alright, cool," he replied with a nod, flashing Sebastian a smile in return before starting to flip through the pages. "Oh, wait!" he said, suddenly remembering what was in his backpack. He leaned over to drag his backpack over to him and ruffled through it. "I made flashcards!" he replied with a grin, holding out 3x4 index cards that he had created about a week prior with his rainbow set of Sharpies.

Sebastian

"it's for my campaign communication class. you can imagine that this paper is an analysis on a campaign." sebastian said casually. he kept his arm where it was as he touched his laptop to bring up the paper. he hit save before closing his paper. sebastian was still attempting to fight off his horniness when blaine piped up. sebastian turned his head to watch the other. his lips curled into a smile when he saw the flashcards. damn when was the last time he made those? he reached out and grabbed them. "oh, okay." he took the cards and smiled at them as he read over them.(edited)

Blaine

"Maybe it'll be helpful to have a pair of eyes who knows absolutely nothing about political campaigns," Blaine chuckled. Entirely oblivious to Sebastian's internal struggle, Blaine handed over the cards and leaned against the front of the couch again with his shoulder, his body now facing Sebastian's. He knew it was a little middle school to have color coordinated flashcards, but it helped him learn just through making them on his own, so Blaine didn't really have any qualms about what other people might think. And it wasn't like it was a huge stack, just the names, dates, and definitions he really, really needed to know - organized by color to the era of music and the country.

Sebastian

"i'll give it to you for some reading before bed, you'll fall asleep droolling before you're done with the first page." sebastian kept reading through the cards, his horny state disappearing. as long as he kept his eyes down on the paper, he could calm down. his base shook as he concentrated on the names and date. "this is pretty. i love this. your handwriting is beautiful." he flipped over one of the cards. sebastian's smile curled. "this girl is a singer/songwriter and actress, commonly referred to as france's national chanteuse and an international star in the 1930s. unfortunately, she had an early death in 1963 at the age of 47." sebastian read the first card (Édith Piaf) to him.

Blaine

"I'm sure it's not that boring," Blaine replied with a chuckle. He flashed a smile up at him when the other man complimented his handwriting. It wasn't a compliment he received often, except from professors when he'd hand in hand-written sheet music, so it was really sweet that Sebastian noticed. "Thanks," he replied. He looked down into his lap as he concentrated on the words coming from Sebastian's lips. The second he knew they were talking about a famous French singer from the thirties, he obviously know who that was. "Édith Piaf," he said quickly. "Easy. La vie en rose is beyond a classic. One of the first things I learned on guitar, actually."

Sebastian

"it puts me to sleep, and this is suppose to be my life." he chortled. he nodded along with blaine's correct answer. he glanced up at blaine through his green eyes and flashed his perfect white teeth. "leave it to you to make flash cards sexy." he commented as he folded his long legs underneath him. he took a sip of his coffee and spoke on through the next cards. sebastian would add flavor text to the ones he knew (thank you to the french education system for teaching them these things. it pays to be a child in the middle of the art capitol of the world).

Blaine

"Hey, but at least it'll be worth it in the end? Hopefully?" he said, laughing along with him. Blaine hadn't really noticed until now what a pretty green Sebastian's eyes were. It was honestly striking. His worse shook Blaine from the thought, smiling bashfully. "Please. I'm just answering the questions," he chuckled. Since moving in with Puck, Blaine didn't have a study partner in the way that he did with same and it was honestly really nice to just focus on the fact as well as having Sebastian's little add in as they went and laughter when Blaine eventually got a few wrong. "Really? 1856...huh. I don't know why I thought The Valkyrie was in 1860."

Sebastian

sebastian shook his head on the ones he got wrong and placed them in their own pile aside from the ones he got right. several minute passed as they bantered back and forth. sebastian would attempt to help where he could with other facts that he learned in his youth, but most of them he drew a blank on. "sorry killer, that's in correct." he told him as he placed the card down and corrected him. sebastian straightened his back and stretched. "how about we take a break. puffs should be unthawed by now." sebastian took the incorrect pile and shuffled it into the cards that weren't reviewed yet. "i think you got a good percentage of them correct. do you know more about the exam and it's content?" he asked as he placed the cards down. he stood up and picked up his now cold coffee and took a sip.

Blaine

Blaine used the couch to push himself to his feet, reaching for his toes for a moment to loosen his spine. "Sounds like a plan," he said, moving aside so Bas could get up as well. He gave a quick nod then a shrug. "Well, I know it's cummulative and I know what we learned, but honestly, I think he might throw anything at us. But, I feel pretty good about it, especially after that, so thanks." Blaine had finished off his coffee a few minutes before, but reached for a couple chips.May 21, 2020

Sebastian

sebastian went for the puffs and put a couple on a plate for the two of them. he grabbed a couple of napkins and walked on over to blaine with everything in his hands. "if you don't come back with an a+, then i think im going to have to ground you for the summer. can't be putting in this work if you're just gonna bring back anything less." sebastian teased. "i don't think that you're capable of bringing home less than the best though." as he grabbed a puff and held it out for blaine to try.

Blaine

Blaine took one of the puffs off the plate, chuckling at his joke. "Oof, thanks, Dad, I'll definitely do my best," he replied, taking a bite of the pastry. Grades had always been one of Blaine's strong suits, much to his parents' contentment - they never had to bother him about keeping them up like they'd had to do with Cooper. It was just an expectation. The taste of the dessert hit him and his eyes widened. "Where did you get these?" he asked, clear in his voice that it was really good, even after having been a little freezer burned. He definitely had to know so he could get these again.

Sebastian

"i love it when i'm called daddy." sebastian commented with a cheeky grin. he took back the pastry and took a bite out of it; all the while looking directly at blaine as he said it. he waited for blaine's reaction before answering. "at an asian market. and the melted water on it adds to it's taste. nothing is ever fun dry."

Blaine

Blaine nearly chocked on the second bite of the pastry at that remark. "Not what I meant," he laughed, cheeks turning a little pink, especially with the eye contact. "I'm going to have to know which one because these are really good! I can tell these could become a problem for me," he joked. "That's...certainly true."

Sebastian

sebastian's tongue popped playfully as he watched blaine's cheeks turn pink. he held his month open for a minute, showing off that little shiny ball right in the center (just a tad bit off to avoid the frenulum). his tongue traced his bottom lip before retreating back into his mouth. he took a seat and leaned back with his plate of puffs. "you say im a lot, but i think you're just absolutely adorable."

Blaine

Was that a tongue piercing? Somehow that made about as much sense as it was surprising to him. And it was pretty freaking hot. He continued to giggle, even more flustered by Sebastian's response. "It's not my fault. I'm not used to the amount of comments you make," he replied, staying where he was for a moment.

Sebastian

"but you like it though." sebastian commented. "you haven't exclusively told me to stop. does it make you uncomfortable?" he pointed out as he crossed his legs and leaned back. his lips parted, showing off his teeth.(edited)

Blaine

Blaine walked over and took the seat next to him. "It's certainly entertaining," he replied, matching his smile. "No, no, it's fine," he replied with a shake of his head. He still wasn't sure how much of it was serious, but didn't know if it would be weird to ask or if it would just make things uncomfortable. "It's certainly a nice boost to the ego."

Sebastian

sebastian watched blaine sit down next to him. his emerald eyes never left that beautiful handsome face. "well, i can sit here and tell you how pretty you are all day long if you'd like." he passed along as he rested his arm on the back of the couch. he tilted his head onto the palm of his hand. he was starting to get excited again. he couldn't do it. in his head, sebastian couldn't deny that he wanted more from blaine. if it didn't happen, sebastian would break his own heart. he wouldn't be able to stomach that at all. not after last time. his eyes turned away from blaine to the tv. "what else is on our to do list?" he asked. he needed to change the subject.

Blaine

Blaine leaned back into the cushions, smiling back at him. "As flattering as that is, I don't know that we'd get anything done," he laughed. Blaine definitely knew he was talented and attractive on a general level, but it still always made his heart flutter when other people said so. "Is there anything I can help you with for your finals?"

Sebastian

"i'd get to see you turn pink-- i think we'd be getting a lot done." sebastian's smile didn't fade as he looked at blaine. sebastian thought about his classes. with how much this paper meant-- he really hadn't thought about anything else. "i have a humanities course, but i haven't started studying." he admitted. "though i don't see a reason to be studying for it. i have a political ethics course too. but i just do what all the other people don't do." He joked.

Blaine

Blaine shook his head, still smiling wide. "I know, I know, I'm a chronic blusher, it's bad," he laughed. It really was a vicious cycle, he blushed when he was complimented and then he blushed even more because he was embarrassed about the blushing. "Why don't you see a reason for studying? Is the class that easy?"

Sebastian

Sebastian shrugged. “Yes. It’s all logic. Couple of terms but they should be easy. Guess you could help me review my notes. Point out some things.” Sebastians eyebrows lifted.

Blaine

"Yeah? I'd be happy to," Blaine replied, crossing one leg over the other. "Give me your notebook and I can ask you some questions."

Sebastian

Sebastian turned his head to his laptop and grabbed a hold of it to try and power it on. When it showed out of batteries, Sebastian tossed it aside and went to his bag and pulled out his journal. He handed it over to Blaine.May 22, 2020

Blaine

Blaine took the journal. "What page about?" he asked, not wanting to accidentally jump into some random notes that weren't relevant.

Sebastian

"it's cumulative." sebastian told the other. the notebook looked as if it was once slim and neat. it's simple look gave it a look of grace and elegance with it's matt finish and cream color tone to it. now, it was thick and clearly used yet taken care of. from the top edges of a notebook, burnt orange tabs stuck out from it to mark sections that sebastian done. one this particular page, the left side had pasted in an article from the internet and on the left was the analysis of it. multiple pages where like this and what gave the notebook it's volume. on the right side, the analysis was filled to the brim with small neat hand writing packed into their containers, colorful highlighted areas, and even little doodles of a slender figure (telling by the hair, septum piecing and green colored eyes, it was a projection of himself) saying something sarcastically intuitive about the material in the boxes. despite it's dense material, the notebook was something some hipster would post on instagram with a coffee in the background.

one glance and his mind popped with the information. at one point, sebastian had plunged into the facts into the boxes and it all came back to him vividly. of course he didn't need to study, he already had it all visualized in his mind. sebastian hardly ever forgot what he organized on paper. but blaine seemed like he wanted to help and sebastian wanted to prolong his time with blaine. he reached forward. casually, his hand brushed over blaine's has he reached for the second to last tab. his finger curled under the little trapezoid. "here, this one is the scenarios. you can quiz me on these." he pushed to the instance in the notebook. just like the other page, there were articles pasted in. these pages were obviously organized-- a title that was beautifully scripted in, a summary in it's own box and clearly labeled. he pointed to the a box highlighted in a red. "these denote something important." he informed.

Blaine

Blaine opened the notebook and was utterly surprised and entirely impressed by what he saw. If Sebastian thought that Blaine's flashcards were neat then he must clearly not be looking at himself. He scanned over the open page in front of him, cracking a smile at the little doodle that was clearly meant to be Sebastian himself. He was only shaken out of his impressed scoring over of the page by Sebastian's hand touching his and the flip of the pages. The amount of time and organization that must have gone into this? Blaine fancied himself to be an extremely neat person, but this was artistic in how well laid out it was. "Oh, okay... Sure," he said, honestly a little intimidated. He could see why Sebastian felt like he didn't need to study. Blaine started to read off the page, framing the statements as questions for Sebastian to complete.

Sebastian

after a couple of questions, sebastian suddenly had an idea. "hold on, let me plug in my laptop." he said as he went to go fiddle with the technology. once he got it on, he googled sample exams and then pushed it over to blaine so that he could ask those questions and correlate them in sebastian's notebook. sebastian leaned on the arm of the chair and stared that blaine. his eyes focused on him to the point where he hadn't heard the question. instead, he just sat staring at the male's perfect jaw line and sweet black eyes.

Blaine

Blaine furrowed his brow, not exactly sure what Sebastian was doing. Once he turned the laptop to him, though, he understood and gave a nod. He looked through, reading out a question then checking Sebastian's notebook for what the answer would be. When Sebastian's voice didn't say anything after a few seconds longer than a normal reply would take, Blaine looked up at him quizically. "Sebastian?" he questioned, seeing that he was looking right at him. "Do you know the answer?"

Sebastian

"i don't even know what the question was." he admitted in his usual smooth. "all i could see where those lips moving." a smirk played across sebastian. in this moment, he would push forward to kiss blaine. but the block came back. blaine had proven himself not only to be somebody of flavor and class. sebastian didn't want to kiss blaine out of some intangible need of sexual pleasure, but to fill his ultimate attraction to him. it pulled him toward blaine, his lips begging to taste the source of that sweet lullaby.

                              no.

the word came as a rush from the deep depths of his brain. sebastian pulled back suddenly. his head snapped to the computer. "wow, that time already?" he commented as he reached for the laptop screen to push it down. "i think i need to get some sleep. starting to get tired."

Blaine

Blaine watched Sebastian carefully as he replied. The flirting he expected, with that signature smirk. For a split second it even looked like Sebastian was going to move towards him, maybe to see what else 'those lips,' as he put it, could do. Then, it seemed to Blaine, it was like some sort of switch went off. He must have been making all that up in his head. Of course he was. Just like he always did when a pretty boy said one too many nice things to him. Blaine gave a half hearted chuckle. "Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll get out of your hair," he replied, handing the notebook back to the other. "Thanks again, for letting me come over. And the study help."

Sebastian

"hey, yeah, it's my pleasure." sebastian said. he pressed his lips together and turned up a smile to him. as he took back his notebook, sebastian looked away from blaine. his brain fought every part of him to turn around and continue flirting and mack on blaine. it even went to the point of stripping apart blaine for his faults and echoing them over and over. but sebastian couldn't possibly find those-- even if he did, it possible that they were too small to bother with. sebastian helped gather the chips and things in silence. his teeth clinched together, him attempting hard not to say anything. when blaine was packed up, sebastian handed him the chips. "thanks for coming. it helped a lot." sebastian told him, keeping his eyes trained on other things. he even went to pretending something was wrong with the door, to avoid the other.

Blaine

Blaine started to gather his things - the textbook and notebook he brought, the flashcards... It felt bizarre. One second they were really friendly, laughing and enjoying the company, and then suddenly Sebastian went dead silent. Had Blaine said something wrong? Something that offended him? He pulled his backpack over one shoulder and took the chips from Sebastian's hand. "Of course. Any time." He wasn't even looking at Blaine anymore. He went to the door. "Um, okay, bye."

Sebastian

Sebastian took in a deep breath as Blaine said good bye. He opened the door for Blaine and pressed his cheek to the door and finally looked at Blaine. “Hey, Blaine...” Sebastian paused. “Thanks. You helped a lot.”

Blaine

Blaine walked through the door, turning back to look at him as he spoke. "Of course, Sebastian. Any time," he said, smiling back at him.

Sebastian

Sebastians eyes lingered on Blaine for a little while. The sorrow sunk in deep as he leaned forward to close the door. Sebastian dragged him back to the couch and took a seat. He stared at his laptop for a moment, opened it, and begun his work.

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 79)

"Burning Memories in Massachusetts"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

Yo!! You fuckers up!?" Slim is banging on the door to the backroom of The Bus. "Wake your bitch asses up!" He continues to bang.

Luna groans, pulling the pillow over her head. Colson pulling the blankets over them. Slim continues to bang.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Colson yells after a few more minutes of banging. This stops it.

"What the hell, Man?" Luna moans, rolling into his warm body. "I'm so fucking tired of being tired..." She complains.

Colson strokes her hair, kissing her lightly on the head. "I know Kitten.... You can stay asleep until rehearsal." He offers.

"I can't." She sighs, snuggling in closer to him. Tangling her bare legs in his. "I have that meeting at 2P..."

"With the DarkWeb Guy?" He asks to her nod.

Her hand is stroking his chest, making his semi a full on. Keeping her warm under the blankets with him, his fingers begin to roam her body.

Down the curve of her waist, up her hip bone around to her plump ass. Squeezing it tight. Her coos tell him to continue. Rolling her on her back, he kisses her neck softly. Making his way to her breasts. Tonguing and flicking each peircing. Luna moans, pulling his head up.

"Come'mere." She pleads, pulling him into her mouth.

They kiss deeply. Colson moving in between her willing legs. Running his hands through her hair as he kisses her. Feeling how hard he is, Luna grabs his dick. Shifting her hips as she works him into her.

"Oh fuuuuck..." Colson let's out lowly as he buries his face into Luna's neck.

Shifting together, Colson slowly drives deep inside of her. Making them both moan. Their sex is sweet and lazy. Kisses sprinkled with closed eyes.

Their pace picks up as they both become close. Luna clinging to Colson's body. Breathing heavy, she feels the warmth of an orgasm begin to wash over her. Bucking harder against him as she grips his body.

"Oh, Bunny...." Luna breathes out.

"One more second, Kitten..." He tells her.

Pulling his closer with her thighs and arching her back. Luna makes them both cum when she clenches her walls around his thick cock.

Sighing, Colson lays on her chest to catch his breath. She strokes his hair as she closes her eyes. Enjoying the way he stays inside of her afterwards. They're just about to drift off again when there's another bang.

"We heard y'all fuck. It's time to get up." Slim hollers from the other side of the door again.

"I'm gonna murder your fucking friend." Luna states to Colson's laughter and kisses.

------------------------------------------------

Dressed in one of Colson's long sleeve t-shirts and over the knee socks, Luna follows him out of their room.

"You are not my favorite person today. At all." Luna states to Slim as she grabs a cup of coffee.

"Am I ever?" He snorts at her.

"No." She shakes her head with blunt words. "Maybe Top 5 if your lucky, but your ass is LowMan today." She continues as she climbs on the couch.

Slim and Luna have a love/hate relationship.

Slim would love to hate her. Luna can be such a raging cunt with no limit at times. Which genuinely worries him but he respects her loyalty to Kells too much. Plus, he can't help but find her fascinating when she does pop off.

Although Luna respects Slim as a person and Colson's bestfriend as a whole, she simply doesn't give a fuck. Ya like her, ya like her. Ya don't, Fuck YOU. That's pretty much been her motto her whole life. It's not changing anytime soon.

"Oh Shit!! Top 5 somedays??" Slim teases her.

"Don't hype yourself up. It's a rarity." She smirks at him. "Now what the fuck were you banging about?" She asks as she takes the joint from him. Hitting it a few times before passing it to Benny.

"Mothafucken' charts, B!" Slim hollers.

"Oh Fuck!! New music Friday!" Colson exclaims coming out of the bathroom. "Pull that shit up." He instructs anyone.

It's up and they're on it. Everything higher then before. Luna and Ashley are still sitting at #1 for their fourth week. Colson and Dom bumping up one to #2, right behind them. Bad Things is still holding the #5 slot for it's fourth week also. While THAT Type bounced from #12 up to #7, breaking into the Billboard Top 10. Keeping Hollywood Whore at #9. El Diablo jumping five slots to #13. Almost making all of their singles Top 10 Hits. The most surprising move this week is from BeBe Rexha. Break Up With Your Girlfriend sliding into #10 all the way from #22 last week.

"YOOOOO!!" Colson exclaims as he pulls a bottle of champagne from the fridge and pops it. "We murken' this shit!!"

Everyone is hype. Handing a glass over for some bubbly. Luna sits curled on the edge of the couch with her coffee, lighting a joint.

It's been said before, Luna is A.) Not a morning person and B.) Doesn't really care where she charts. Knowing how important it is to others, she shoots Ashley a LOVE text.

Plopping down beside her, Colson is like a jumping bean. Sometimes he's seriously too much.

"We're fucken' shit up, Kitten!!" He says excitedly, pulling her face over for a kiss.

"I heard..." She answers after, hitting the joint.

He chuckles at her nonchalantness. Colson knows things like this don't matter to Luna. Sometimes it makes him a little jealous. The way her art is her own. How she has no one over her shoulder with a money bag, telling her what she can and can't do.

"I'm so fucking proud of you." She smiles sweetly, wrapping her free arm around his neck to kiss him. "Ya killing the game, Son!!" She exclaims before she kisses him again. It being interrupted by his laughter.

"You're fucking awesome." He grins at her before kissing her again.

Smiling at him, she lifts her joint to his lips. Both comforted by how she knows exactly what he wants and needs.

Two more bottles of champagne are popped. Everyone is pumped and beyond excited for Hotel Diablo's debut. Luna pulls Slim, Rook and Baze in for a group hug.

"Thanks." She tells them, kissing each of their cheeks.

With a cocked eye Slim asks "For what?"

"Because THAT Type is US. WE got a #7 hit, not me. That's was all us. From my lyrics to you guys helping figure out the beat to how you recorded me, back to Rook's directorial fucking debut!!" She beams, pulling them in close again as she kisses their grinning cheeks.

"Yo!!" Colson shouts, grabbing their attention.

Turning towards him, Luna pulls them back. "Don't forget. You're #1 too. All of us. We murked that Motherfucker."

Before they can respond, Colson stands up on one of the couches. He's so tall he has to duck down as he starts belting out Queen.

🎶WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIENDS🎶

The whole Bus, including Luna, Baze, Rook and Slim start singing along with him. Arms over each other's shoulders. Swaying as they sing and grin.

🎶AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING. TILL THE END🎶

The group of friends bellow in happiness together. One grabbing another's shoulder until everyone is linked. All of them singing loudly.

🎶WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS🎶

Slim quickly pecks Luna on the cheek as he grins through the next lyrics.

🎶NO TIME FOR LOSERS🎶

🎶Cause we are the Champions🎶

Laughing, they all belt out loud and horribly.

🎶OF THE WORRRRRRLD🎶

Bursting into uproarious laughter, they all hug each other before toasting their success again.

------------------------------------------------

The band heads to The Palladium. Luna gets dressed for her meeting with Travis.

Getting stoned as usual, she showers on The Bus. Which sucks. Sipping on champagne, Luna bangs three 30s before she throws on skinnies and green hoodie. Pulling on her Vans and red baseball hat, Luna grabs her board. Out The Bus's doors she goes.

Hitting the streets of Worcester, Luna skates over to meet Travis. Grinding, rail sliding and ollieing the whole way. Ripping through the town, things start to look oddly familiar to Luna. She can't place why though.

------------------------------------------------

Meeting Travis in the back of the diner, he's nervous. Luna pops a untraceable hotspot to his relief. They decline any food. Asking only for water and coffee.

"Okay..." Travis begins feeling more secure over Luna's line. "We're up but not Live." He explains.

Typing on his laptop, he shows Luna the logistics of getting to the site. In the search bar with no www. if you type in h2h it automatically directs you to the site. Travis explaining he chose h2h as help to help. Luna thinks it's perfect.

Travis goes on to talk about the protection of the site. For both it's patients and providers. The way he had figured it, they would enter their phone number in the box to submit. He explains that almost like a RoboCaller, he has a device to weed out contracted lines from disposable ones. Hoping this will keep the police off their trail.

His idea is, once the phone number's entered and its confirmed as a secure line, the program then texts another link, asking to provide ID for both the patient and the buddy accompanying them.

Luna's confused by this. Travis explains his idea. In order to keep everyone safe, patients need to be vetted. Not for criminal reasons but to make sure it's not a part of a sting. He goes on to explain how the accompanying buddy is to make the patient feel safe because ultimately, he thinks they should be picked up at a third party location. Never knowing where the facility is. His idea is that they would be safely transported, treated and returned. Ideally placing neither party in danger.

Luna thinks this is ingenious. Praising his thoughts, efforts and work. Next is how to get the word out. They're thinking old school. Graffiti, stickers, word of mouth. The question is how to be clever about it....

Having an idea, Luna pulls up a photo of Persephone.

Knowing the truth behind the Greek mythology and wondering about her fish, she suggest they use Persephone with a simple h2h on the bottom for stickers.

Luna not worried about tagging the diluted state of AL with the message. Nor worried about walking the streets or into shelters to spread the word.

Her only obstacle being, that her line is secure enough to reassure the doctors of any unexpected repercussions.

Travis can't help but admire Luna's ideas and dedication. Her enthusiasm solidifying what he does. The two depart satisfied. Both agreeing to not go Live until Luna is confident in the Drs agreeance.

Luna leaving the waitress a twenty for her. Part for her discretion. Mostly for her profession.

-------------------------------------------------

Standing outside the diner, Luna's body guides her. Finding herself outside of Colombo Park, Luna's flooded by emotions. She's been here before.

Things weren't always rough with Justin. Like life with any addiction, it had it's cycles. He could be clean for a month or he could be clean for 18... It was all a guessing game. When it was good. It was fucking fantastic. Luna could see her bestfriend again in those crystal blue eyes. One of those times was in Massachusetts.

Luna being obsessed with odd things, Justin had obliged her a roadtrip to Salem. Making a pitstop in Worcester. Stopping to eat and get stoned in this same park.

Luna finds the treeline they sat along.

Laying down on the cool ground, She lights a joint. Mind drifting to Them.

"Hi." Luna says into the air in a tiny voice. Running her fingers through the grass, she continues to talk. "I miss you... So fucking much." Luna starts to gently sob. The last couple of days catching up with her. "I hope you're okay. Sometimes I think I am, but I don't really know." She tries to catch her breath. "Things are really weird in my life right now. It's like our bubble popped when I left home and now I'm splattered everywhere. For all too see. Fuck. I have a number one single right now, Babe. Like, what the fuck is that? How much more anti-me could could I be??" She asks the light breeze. "Everything is so big and excessive. I miss being quiet so much......" She trails off, pulling her hood over her head.

Thinking of the nights her and Justin would hang out at home, creating together or meeting up with Mack, Tim and everyone else for small intimate performances, dinners, drinks or whatever..... Wistful plots of them overthrowing their government.... Marching through Manhattan together protesting against Trump's inauguration... Drunkenly laughing as they planned strategies for The Zombopocolypse.... Luna's breath shudders. "Fuck." She thinks as the tears drop.

"I'm getting married. Never thought I'd say that...." She sniffles. "Not really an Us kind of thing, hunh...?" Luna stares up at the clouds for any sign from her dead lover. "I love him. And he asked. And I wanted to say Yes." Luna bites her lip, trying to fight the new tears. "You two are so fucking different but have these same strange similarities." Luna sighs through the pain in her heart thinking of them both. "You wouldn't believe my life anymore.... You'd probably make fun of me for being a fucking sell out." She chuckles lightly. "Ugh. We were such fucking snobs."

Luna lays on her back, staring at the sky. Remembering what it was like to be obscure. She can't breathe as her heart rips apart thinking of a time when she was more important to Justin than any other substance.

Tears dripping out of the sides of her eyes. Trying to control her breathing, just as a cardinal lands upon the tip of her Van. The bird sits as they stare at each other for a moment. Adjusting it's self, the cardinal cranes it's head, peering at her for what feels like an eternity. Another bird sqwauks from above, causing it to turn it's head. Looking back to her, the cardinal stares again before blinking at Luna and flying away.

"Bye." She whispers. Noticing she can breath again.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson and Tech are working through some difficulties when Luna pops in at The Palladium.

Luna heads to the bus and changes. She's warm from her emotions and skating through town. Throwing on black shorts and mini cowboy boots. She sits for a minute. Getting high while she thinks of Colson and Justin. Two completely different beings but both owning a piece of her heart.

Walking off of The Bus, Luna stops. Snapping a picture of her legs. Sitting down on The Bus's steps she manipulates the photo before she Snaps it to Ashley.

Before she makes it into the venue Ash Snaps her back.

Laughing, Luna calls her as she walks into the venue. Ashley has a show in Mexico City on the 24th that she wants Luna with her for.

Not knowing anyone's schedule, Luna agrees. She had already said if Ashley leads, she'll follow on this one. Luna's never been one to go against her word.

------------------------------------------------

It's rounding out 6P. The Band goes on at 8P. Backstage is hectic as always.

Colson flying. He's been bumping the half ounce from Philly. Moving and talking quicker then his usual mile a minute.

Luna notices the change but can't put her finger on it. If she doesn't know EXACTLY what the fuck she's speaking on, Luna won't say a word. So, she does as she always has. Watches and waits. Until she KNOWS something of substance.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson kisses Luna with an unusual jitter before he hits the stage. She knows he lives off of amphetamines but this is the first time she's felt it.

Standing with Ashleigh as usual on the side of the stage, Luna goes against her better judgment.

"He aight?" She asks Ashleigh.

She gives Luna an odd look. "Yeah... Why?"

Luna respects Ashleigh too much to simply snap on her. Choosing her words wisely.

Luna shakes her off with a "He seems different." Before turning to give Ashleigh with a stern, unamused look.

"That's just Kells.." Ashleigh tries to reassure her.

Luna's not having that bullshit. Grabbing Ashleigh's elbow, she looks her directly in the eye.

"Don't fuck with me." She warns.

Ashleigh never being on the receiving end of Luna's maddness. She easily submits.

"I'm NOT!!" She exclaims. "I don't know half of what the fuck he does!! Unless he tells me!"

"I'm sorry." Luna immediately relents. "He's not right though...." Luna trails off.

Appreciating how Luna can tell the difference in Kells like she can, she slides her arm around Luna's waist.

"You're a smart cookie, Loons. And I truly love you."

Ashleigh's words distract Luna. Her heart exploding like The Grich's. She adores Ashleigh. Not only as a woman but THE woman who manages to keep Colson in direction.

"I love you too, Ash. You're my G-H... Get Higher!!" Luna laughs hugging her tightly. "I gotta change. Thank you though. For simply being you." Luna kisses Ashleigh's cheek and disappears before she has a chance to respond.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson and The Boys rage. Flying through their beginning setlist.

Sex Drive being an unknown but welcome treat to his family. Kicking in with the same opening of Habits and Bad News 2. Ripping into El Diablo. Colson's shirt being lost during. LOCO, GTS and Wild Boy following.

Lighting a joint as he starts Let You Go, Colson glances over to find Luna's body SideStage.

"That's MY girl." He grins. Looking over to sing certain lyrics to her.

He changes the lyrics again on Candy and Hollywood Whore. Promising he'll only get a Wife because She's the Baddest Bitch He Trusts.

Fittingly so, considering he quiets the crowd down after.

"Yo, Yo, Yo!!" He shouts "FAM!!!"

Luna begins to play the opening chords of Bad Things on the piano.

"This Bitch. This Bitch is who I trust." Colson declares as he walks over to kiss Luna. "You know when you got a RideOrDie, right? You just feel it." He declares, lifting Luna's chin for another kiss. "THIS." He dips down to kiss Luna again, tears welling in his eyes. "Is my RideOrDie. My Now or Never." He chuckles at his reference to Ashley. "My Mary J to my Meth... Tell em, Kitten."

Luna opens up flawlessly. Voice strong and thick. Colson taking her CenterStage. Displaying her like a doll as he raps. Until the chorus and Band slam.

Luna is no one's doll. She commands Colson and the audience. They're hers as she prances around the stage. Pushing against Colson to assert her dominance. Her voice striking the lyrics as she teases him. This is HER stage. She does what the fuck she wants. Skipping and shouting to the crowd. Integrating them into her lyrics.

There's a different feel to their set. Luna's in rare form. Not touching him as much but egging the crowd more. Colson watches her in awe. She has no trouble commanding his crowd of over 2K people.

Allowing him to stand behind her, they belt the ending lyrics together.

🎶I'm all in🎶

🎶There is no maybe🎶

Luna turns and grips Colson. Her tongue dipping deep inside his overwhelmed mouth. Taking anything and EVERYTHING she wants.

Colson has no breath when she's done. Grabbing his mic, she shouts Thank You. Sliding her hand down his loose jeans, she rolls his balls in her fingers.

"You're on" She whispers before shoving the mic in his loose hand and disappearing off stage.

------------------------------------------------

Colson and The Band continue to destroy the audience. Ripping them apart as they perform See Through My Tears, and Till I Die.

Rook's performance of ShoutAt The Devil is easily becoming one of Luna's favorite.

Colson goes on to perform Rap Devil and Till I Die. Slamming through Golden God, Alpha Omega, Lately, Bad Motherfucker, Wake&Bake, 27 and Sail.

The lights go down to the crowds moans. Looking at Luna, he pulls up a stool next to his only mic.

In the dark he starts to speak. "I covered this because it hits home.... Loons. Please." He taps the stool next to him on stage. Arena still dark.

Heart pounding, Luna walks on stage. Taking Colson's hand as she slides onto the stool. His smile is to sweet to resist as he runs his hand along her skull. Bringing her in for a kiss.

He sits the microphone just over Luna's right shoulder. He knows that's the good one.

"Ready?" He asks the band before he starts to strum

🎶I've been watching you🎶

🎶For some time🎶

🎶Can't stop staring🎶

🎶At those ocean eyes🎶

Luna's heart swells as tears well her eyes. There's an honesty between them to the cover. Both of them knowing it all too well.

Colson ends to the crowd's cheers and Luna's tears. It touching them each in different ways.

-------------------------------------------------

For the first time, Luna and Colson walk of stage calm. There was something about Billie's cover that hit them hard.

In his dressing room, they're soft and delicate with each other. A welcome but strange change from their norm.

Instead of bending Luna in front of a mirror, he lays her down. Wanting to take his time with her. Sucking on her neck and kissing her lips. Moving down to her collarbone. He can feel her pulse for him. Moaning as she juts her hips towards him.

They're interrupted by a BANG and YO!!!

Irritated, Luna knees Colson. "Fix your shit." She tells him.

Climbing off of her, he notices the doorknob is hot. Not wanting to panic Luna, he looks around, thinking quickly.

"Baby. We gotta move." He tells her.

"Why the fuck are you calling me Baby?" Luna asks immediately alarmed.

Wrapping his elbow, he busts out their dressing room window. It's a small basement window. Most wouldn't make it out but he knows him and Luna can.

"Colson..?" Luna asks.

This is the first time he's ever seen her scared. Collecting their things and throwing them through the window, he makes sure to hit any shards hanging.

"Baby. I know you don't like that word. But we gotta move. You gotta go out that window."

Luna's eyes are wide. She doesn't know what's happening. Her breath starts to pick up as her body freezes.

Colson takes her face in his hands. He can feel her shaking.

"LUNA. It's okay." He reassures her, only having time to push her towards the tiny window. "Go, Baby. Go!" He hoists her out.

Stunned and unusually scared, Luna grips the Earth as Colson shoves her on to it. The night's air snapping her back, she turns and bgrabs Colson's shoulders. Pulling him out behind her.

Breathing hard with him between her legs, Luna shouts "What the FUCK WAS THAT!!!" as tears of fear and rage drop from her eyes.

Gripping Colson against her, she doesn't know what the fuck just happened.

Benny appears, dragging them both away before the whole building goes up in flames.

------------------------------------------------

Once Colson and The Band had finished, someone threw a Moltov cocktail. The fire catching on to the extra drinks left over from their set. Exploding the whole stage.

Slim had grabbed Ashleigh. Rook, AJ and Baze making a quick exit with them.

Benny banging on Colson's door to no answer. Fucked up, he headed outside. Luna and Kells being his only concern.

-------------------------------------------------

Relieved to see Benny, with Colson between her legs. Luna doesn't know what THE FUCK is going on.

Benny pulls them both up. Colson to his feet, then scooping Luna in his arms.

"We OUT, DAWG!!" He shouts to Colson, who's collecting the couple's things.

Luna's not normally a ballsack but this is too much. Burying her face in Benny's neck, she holds tight. Not knowing what to expect.

------------------------------------------------

The Bus is shook. The only one who speaks is Ashleigh. And she's fucking livid.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAAAAAAT!!!!!!" She screams. "I gotta fucking kid now, you motherfuckers. I'm more than just your BITCH!!! WE COULD'VE FUCKING DIED!!! AND FOR WHAT!??!" She explodes.

No one has anything to say. Luna is shook. Curled in a corner on the couch next to Colson. He's speechless. Slim sits next to him, silently shocked by the night's events. Narrowly making it out, Rook and Baze have their own thoughts. AJ is silent. He didn't sign up for this shit.

Realizing it's his duty, Colson collects himself. Standing up he hugs his friend.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I don't know what happened. I thought shit was all good..."

Everything inside of Colson is on the verge of breaking. They almost died. All of them. Him. Rook. Slim... He can't bring himself to think of the loss of Luna or Ashleigh.

Ashleigh shakes her head. "That wasn't you Kells." Sighing, she adds "I don't know who the fuck that was." A rare tear dropping from her eye.

Colson pulls his friend closer. Knowing somehow it was him.

"Can we all sleep together tonight, please?" Luna asks in a weird tone.

Agreeing they fold up whatever tables, dragging out mattresses.

Sitting on the couch amongst the tons of mattresses, Luna can't help but giggle. It's a defense mechanism. So is smoking pot.

"It's SLEEPOVER TIME BITCHES!!!" She grins at the group of them piled into the front of The Bus as she lights a joint.

"I'll tell you a scary story if you tell me one....." She grins, hitting it.

Luna's trying to claim her sanity and lighten their near death experience.

"BITCH, WE ALMOST DIIIED!!!" Ashleigh shouts out.

"I knoooow.... But we didn't. So shut the FUCK up."

This being the first time Luna has ever gotten loud with Ashleigh. The second time tonight that she's gotten real.

"I'm sorry... I know shit was fucked up tonight." Luna opens up the end of the blanket wrapped around her. "I have weed and xanax..." She smiles as Ashleigh climbs in.

Luna hugs her with a genuine I'm Sorry to Ashleigh's acceptance.

Crowded together like it's Summer Camp, the eight of them spook each other out. Ashleigh calming down after a football. Laughing and passing joints as they tell or make up stories. Fuck Massachusetts, they decide. Ain't Nobody got shit on US.

ESPECIALLY FUCKING Massachusetts.

Curled up snug, hitting joints passed to her, Ashleigh enjoys the Summer Camp sleepover. Feeling secure before she falls asleep, she shouts to Luna's relief and everyone's laughter.

"FUUUCK WORCESTER!!!!"

-------------------------------------------------

Rolling over into Luna, on a bus littered by Assholes. Ashleigh thinks how she wouldn't trade her hand of fools for a deck of Aces any day.

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued....

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Sex and Violence- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,055

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

Darkness. Black everywhere you look. Wherever you are, you know you aren’t safe. Sam and Dean come to mind, but they are nowhere to be found.

“Sam! Dean!” you yelled, hoping to attract someone’s attention.

“Don’t bother. They aren’t here,” she said, making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Leave me alone!” you yelled, turning around to face Amara who just smiled at you. “I don’t want you here!”

“But, I’m already here.”

“No, no you’re not. Whatever you think you know about me, drop it. I will not let you use me. Just stay out of my head!”

“It’s the only way we can talk. The only way I know you’re safe.”

“Safe from what? Everyone is telling me to stay away from you!”

“Yes, my nephews and nieces do make it clear how much trouble I am. I can assure you, I’m not the bad guy here. Our bond is stronger than any force you know. I can protect you from where I am.”

“And where is that?” you asked as you threw your hands up in frustration.

“Somewhere far away. But even then, I can make sure you will live a long life, ready for me when I get out. The ties you have to me are thick, nothing can penetrate those walls. No magic in the world will ever be strong enough to take you down. No magic or force in the world will ever be able to break my wall of protection.

“Don’t you understand what is happening here? I am getting you prepared because a lot of fights are coming your way. You’re going to need me when the time comes. I am going to need you. Together, we can do anything. I need you ready for that.”

“Get out of my head!” you yelled, making her disappear.

Gasping awake, you heard the sound of a car honking in the distance. Due to your disturbance, Dean was also woken up who you had been sleeping under you. Looking around, you saw Sam’s bed already made but found him in the bathroom with the door half-open. He was talking on the phone in hushed whispers making you wonder who was on the other line.

Opening your mouth to speak, Dean placed his hand over it to silence you so he could hear what his brother was saying. It was no secret that Sam had been keeping things from you and his brother, and this might be able to tell you exactly what.

“Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. No storms, no bad crops, nothing… Yeah, okay. We'll keep looking. You keep looking too, OK?... Alright. Talk soon,” he said as he hung up. Dean quickly closed his eyes, pretending to never have woken up, and you do the same. If Sam was keeping something from you, then it must have been bad so you needed to figure it out before something bad happens.

Sam looked at you and his brother before exiting the bathroom, going over to your bed before sitting on his. He stared at you two before lightly slapping your leg before moving onto Dean’s.

“Hey. Up and at 'em,” he chuckled. Opening your eyes, you looked at Dean that held the same emotions as yours. As to not disturb the peace, you looked over at the clock before sitting up.

“You're up early. What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“Nothing. I was in the can.”

“Yeah?” you wondered in a slightly accusatory tone.

“Yeah. You want me to draw you a picture?”

“Nah, we’ll pass.”

“Found a job. Bedford, Iowa. Guy beat his wife's brains out with a meat tenderizer, and get this, third local inside two months to gank his wife. No priors on any of 'em, all happily married.”

“Sounds like Ozzie and Harriet,” Dean joked.

“More like The Shining,” Sam smirked.

“Alright, well I guess we'd better have a look,” you said before getting out of bed.

“Really? No pants?” Sam asked once he saw Dean’s shirt and cheeky panties that barely covered your ass.

“Like you’ve never seen this before,” you said as you snatched your clothes from on top of your duffel bag. Dean smirked as he checked you out, but his brother had a completely different look on his face. The only thing Sam hasn’t seen of you was your vagina, and he’s only seen your breasts because your towel slipped while he was in the room. Living with them 24/7, something was bound to slip up.

“Why does the PD keep sending you guys? I already said I don't want a lawyer,” Adam Benson, the guy who beat his wife, said with a scoff. Dressed like a lawyer, you decided to handle this one alone since it might be weird if three of them were to talk to this man. “I'm pleading guilty.”

“Alright, look, you don't want us to represent you, that's fine. In fact, it's probably not a bad idea, between you and me. I just want to understand what happened, that's all. Please, Mr. Benson.”

“What happened was, I killed my wife. You wanna know why? Because she made plans without asking me.”

“Now when it happened, how did you feel? Disoriented, out of control? Like something possessed you to do it?”

“I knew exactly what I was doing. I was crystal clear.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I don't know. I loved her. We were happy,” he sighed. Nodding, you took out some papers that might get him to talk more. Placing the credit card statement you got illegally, you showed him the $9,000 dollar charge he had.

“Nine G's. That's a hefty bill.”

“Where did you get that?”

“Doesn't matter, I have it. See, certain charges, ones you don't want the missus to know... they show up under shady names like 'M & C Entertainment'.”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he still denied everything.

“No? Sounds to me like you were having some problems with your wife making plans without you because you were doing the same to her. You know, I’ve learned something in this line of work. When someone accuses you of something, they’re the ones usually doing what was accused. If you thought your wife was cheating, then that means you were doing the cheating. Get my drift?”

“Her name was Jasmine,” Adam said after a pause and a sigh. “I didn't mean for it to happen, I don't like to go to strip bars. My buddy was having a bachelor party, and there she was. She came right up to me. And, I don’t know, she was just... perfect. Everything that I wanted.”

“Well, you pay enough and anybody will be anything.”

“It wasn't about the money. It wasn't even about sex. It was... I don't know what it was. It's hard to explain.”

“And your wife found out?” you asked.

“No, she never had a clue.”

“Then why'd you kill her? Seems to me like you had a perfect life.”

“For Jasmine. She said we would be together forever. If... if only Vicki was...” he sighed, not able to finish the sentence. “Afterwards, me and Jasmine were supposed to meet and she never showed. I don't know where she lives, I don't know her last name, I don't even know her real first name! I'm an idiot.”

“And you didn't think to tell this to the cops?”

“What for? The stripper didn't do it, I did it. I know what I deserve. The judge doesn't give me the death sentence, I'll just do it myself.”

“Thanks for your time. My advice, if you can’t stay faithful, at least have the balls to leave,” you said before standing up. Adam just sighed as you walked out of the room before joining the brothers at the car.

“What did you find?” Dean asked once you were inside.

“Not any kind of possession, if that’s what you were thinking. He knew exactly what he was doing. He had an affair with some stripper named Jasmine who told him if they want to be together, he had to kill his wife and he did. When it came time to show up, she never did, and he turned himself in.”

“Brutal,” Sam sighed.

“Yeah, what did you two find out?”

“Dr. Cara Roberts is the one who did the autopsies on the wives. I say we go check her out.”

“Great,” you sighed, rubbing your hand over your face.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked as he started the car before pulling away from the parking lot.

“Just been having some not-so-good dreams lately,” you thought about Amara, but refused to tell the brothers about it.

“They’re just bad dreams, right?”

“Yeah, right,” you repeated that to yourself in your head a million times, trying to convince yourself that it was true.

Arriving at the hospital, you dropped Sam off to find out what Dr. Roberts knows before you two looked into the deaths of the other two wives, well their husbands. What you found out was what you expected, all of them found some way to get money to spend on the same strip club that Adam went to for reasons you still didn’t know.

After getting that information, you went back to the hospital to see what Sam found out. Before you could enter Cara’s office, Dean stopped you with a hand on your shoulders.

“What is it?”

“Are you sure they’re just nightmares?” he asked in a low voice. “That look on your face suggests it’s been going on for a while.”

“Dean, I promise you that they are. I guess with everything going on, I’m stressed which doesn’t come out in the form of rainbows and unicorns. I’m fine, honest,” you said before kissing his cheek. He had no choice but to believe you and hope that you were telling the truth.

Opening the door, you walked in what seemed to be an intense moment. The look on Sam’s face suggested that something other than the case was going on.

“What'd we miss?” Dean asked as you two stepped inside.

“Ahh, these are my partners, Agent Murdoch and Barnes.”

“Please, ‘Agent’ sounds so formal. You can call me Dean.”

“And I Y/N,” you said as she shook the hands of you and Dean.

“I'm Doctor Roberts,” she said before turning to Sam quickly. Raising your eyebrows, you thought someone had a crush on a certain brother. “So, um, can I help you with anything else?”

“Uhh, sure, just one more thing. This chemical Oxytocin, what would cause those high levels that you found?”

“Nothing that I've ever seen.”

“Okay, that’s it. Thanks, Doc,” Sam said with a smile. She returned it as you stood up, a smile on your face for them having chemistry. As you walked out the door, Sam stopped before addressing the doctor again. “By the way... try a greasy breakfast. The best thing for a hangover.”

“Watch it, buddy, I'm the only M.D. here,” she giggled. Sam nodded before leaving with you and Dean back to the car.

“What did you two find out?” Sam asked when you three were at a safe distance.

“Both men confessed to their crimes. Said the same exact thing as Adam did,” you explained.

“One emptied his IRA, the other, his kids' college fund, all on the same day,” Dean said as you exited the building.

“Live nude girls?”

“Yeah, at a club called 'The Honey Wagon'.”

“However, Jasmine wasn’t there all three times. Each time it was a different girl,” you sighed.

“So, what? These girls all connected somehow?”

“Well, they all described their stripper in the same way, the exact same way. Perfect, and everything that they wanted.”

“Yeah, at least until dream Barbie convinced them to murder their wives. You know, it's almost like they were under some kinda love spell.”

“Sure seems that way,” you agreed.

“Which caused them to become totally psychotic.”

“Absolutely,” Dean nodded with a smile.

“You seem pretty cheery.”

“Strippers, Sammy. Strippers. We're on an actual case involving strippers. Finally,” Dean laughed.

“What if I was a stripper?” you asked as you approached the car.

“Hot, but I don’t think that being a stripper suits you as much as hunting does,” Dean spoke the truth as you three got in.

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[winnipegpatty]

to all the boys i’ve loved before [pt. vii] | s.m. series

a/n: one more chapter left!!! woo! so happy y’all have enjoyed this so far! catch up on the other parts in my masterlist!

“Oh my god, you’re home!” Sofia practically pounced on me the second I walked through the front door.

I laughed at my younger sister, but was a little more focused on the fact that my home looked different than when I left it two days ago. The entire home was decked out in Christmas gear. Garland adorned the stair rail, the giant tree was up in the entryway, the stockings were hung by the chimney, their Christmas family photos replaced the normal photos. I wandered away from Sofia for a moment, just taking in each room. I don’t know about you, but Christmas time makes me feel different. You ever just have that one thing that makes you feel a certain way? Like it just makes you feel more free, or happier, or excited somehow. Despite there really being virtually nothing different about the days leading up to the event than any other days? That was Christmas for me. The songs, the lights, the stories, the presents. It all just made me feel loved, happy, at home.

“You did all of this, Sof?”

“Well…” Sof drug out in the suspicious way she does when she thinks she’s being sneaky about something.

I turned around to look at Sofia, to see what she was hiding, when I heard from the staircase, “Hey sister.”

I looked up to see Ari looking down at us, smiling.

I squealed, in that obnoxious way girls do, and ran to my sister, pulling my arms around her tightly. “Oh my god, you’re home early!”

Ari just nodded, “Yep, finished my finals early.”

“I missed you so much,” I whispered into her hair, needing a big sister right about now.

“I missed you,’ she answered, welcoming Sof into our hug.

Later in the evening we were making chocolate chip cookies, just us girls. It felt good, it felt like my life had been righted somehow. Something so desperately important had been missing, but now was back where it should be. It felt good. Like old times. Times before a complicated fake relationship and awkward best friends.

“Tell us about England!” Sof asked.

“Okay, well,” Ari said, leaning forward like she was about to spill massive secrets, “Even when it’s freezing outside the girls still wear the shortest dresses and like no coats. They really do drink tea like four times a day, it wasn’t an over exaggeration. Driving on the left side of the road, is so weird. And everything is just really, really beautiful. The architecture is astounding, it’s just unlike anything you’ll ever see here.”

“Are you going to invite Josh over for dinner?” Sof asked quietly.

Ari sighed, “Why don’t we make it a girls night.”

“Plus dad,” Sof said.

“Girls night, plus dad. Just family.”

“Guess that means you can’t invite Shawn,” Sof said turning to me.

“Shawn?” Ari said right as there was a knock on the door.

“Uh, I should go get that,” I muttered, walking over to the door.

And of course, in true Shawn Mendes fashion, there he stood at my doorstep, looking like that lost puppy that he is when he is upset.

“Y/N, we need to talk.” He said firmly.

“Not here,” I whispered, pushing myself out the door and into the front yard. There was safety in distance from the house, right?

“Just so you know,” Shawn started rushed, “Nothing happened between me and Gen last night.”

“No, what happened, is that you went to her room in the first place! Right after you were with me, really?” I said completely hurt by what he’d done to me.

“Look, Gen and I dated for a long time, those feelings and that friendship doesn’t just go away overnight. We have history,” Shawn said, like that somehow made it okay.

“Well, I’m tired of being second best, or fake best, or whatever this is!”

“No, no, no,” Shawn rushed, grabbing for my hand, “You do not get it. Last night was--”

“Last night was a mistake,” I finished for him. “Look physical stuff may not be important or a big deal to you, but it is for me. And the fact that I even spent that time with you, was a big deal to me. You telling me you wanted to be my real boyfriend, Shawn that was a big deal to me. That was supposed to mean something.”

“Who says that it’s not a big deal to me, Y/N?” Shawn was beginning to get frustrated and it showed in the way he was starting to crawl into himself and retreat a bit, already feeling defeated.

“Says every single guy on the bus!” I raised by voice, “They’re just clapping and praising you like a god, and you’re just eating it up. And you didn’t even correct anyone, even though you know we didn’t even have sex! I went into your room to hang out. The only people who know that are you and me, and you let everyone believe it was for something else!”

“Okay, look I-”

“Shawn, just leave.” I said, resigned.

“Can we please, just go inside and talk about this, Y/N?”

“She asked you to leave, buddy,” I heard Josh’s voice behind me.

Great, just what I needed. A Josh Sanderson with a hero complex.

“Josh, go back inside,” I said trying to fend him off.

“No, it’s alright,” Josh said.

“No, no, no, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Shawn practically yelled. “Are you serious right now?” He asked looking at me. I looked at Shawn, then at Josh, a bit confused. “This isn’t about me and Gen at all, is it? This is about you and him. This is the reason you broke up with me? You’re really still in love with him?” Shawn spewed angrily.

“If Y/N broke up with you,” Josh spat right back, “It’s probably because she realized that you’re a monumental waste of time, and she’s finally come to the life altering revelation that she’s too good for you!”

“You’re in love with Josh?” I heard Ari’s voice from the door, who stood next to Sof, looking completely heart broken.

This day really could not have gone worse.

“Ari, no.” I said, running to my sister, but she was already inside the house, slamming the door in my face. I turned to both of the boys behind. Both whom were seeming like monumental wastes of time, to use Josh’s words. “Shawn, go home!”

Shawn looked tired and sad, running a hand through his hair. “God, Y/N you were never second best,” he said as last attempt before turning and returning to his Jeep.

In his absence, only Josh remained.

“I didn’t even know she was home,” Josh whined, always the lovesick puppy for Ari.

“Yeah, she came home early.” I muttered. “It was a surprise.”  

__

Well, at least the worst is over. I’m getting rid over everything. The contract, every romance novel I’ve ever laid eyes on, the works. Love is a fucking scam, and I’m done.

My phone dinged, and I had half a heart to ignore it until I saw Chris’ name appear.

Chris: Is this you!?

Attached was a video of me and Shawn making out in the hot tub, it was all over instagram.

__

I knocked on Ari’s door.

“I’m busy.” She said, as she was unpacking a suitcase.

“Please.  I need your help.”

Ari relented, and so I told her everything. Sat on her bed, I finally told my sister the truth. About the letters. About Shawn. About the contract and the ski trip. Everything. And then finally, I showed her the instagram video.

“Well,” Ari sighed, “You’re completely covered up, and we only see your back. So if you hadn’t been tagged, really it could have been everyone. Really, it’s worse for Shawn than it is for you.”

“It’s never worse for the guys,” I muttered as I fell back onto Ari’s bed. “I am so stupid.”

“We’re gonna fix this.” Ari said, like the perfect big sister.

“I accidentally made a sex tape, and you feel bad for me. That’s the only reason why you’re helping me. You must hate me right now.”

“I do feel bad for you,” Ari said, “but I’m just trying to figure out why you didn’t tell me all of this was happening in the first place?”

“I was lying to everyone in my life, and I knew I couldn't lie to you. Trust me, I wanted to be able to talk to you about it.”

“I thought you didn’t need me anymore!”

“Are you kidding me? Ari, look what happened while you were gone!” A few tears fell down my cheeks as I croaked out, “I made a sex tape, and I haven’t even had sex!”

“Come here,” Ari said, as she pulled me into a hug.

As I opened my eyes, I saw Sof standing at the door, and laughed. “How long have you been there?”

Ari turned to look at Sof.

“Not long,” she said, before caving quickly, “Long.”

She joined us on the bed, once again joining into our hug.

“Okay, time to make a covey sisters pact.” Ari spoke, like the true big sister. “No more secrets.”

“But…” Sof said quietly, “I have a secret.”

Ari and I looked towards her expectantly.

Sofia took a deep breath, “I sent the letters.”

My eyes flew wide, “I’m going to kill you.”

I lunged across the bed at her, and quickly Sofia and I were in an all out battle for blood.

“I knew you were lonely, and I could tell Peter liked you!” Sofia hollered as she hid behind a chair for protection.

“Don’t hurt her!” I heard Ari holler.

“Why would you send all five!?” I screamed lunging for the chair, ripping it away as she skidded towards the bed.

“I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better!”

I jumped onto the bed just as Sof fell off the bed and quickly crawled towards the closet, closing herself in.

“Alright! Back down!” Ari said, standing between me and the closet door.

“Look, her logic was off,” Ari said, “But her heart was in the right place!”

“Her face is gonna be in the wrong place, pretty soon,” I said as I pushed into Ari, to get to the door.

“Y/N, before you murder our sister,” she pushed me away from the door again. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest. “Could I ask you a question?” I rolled my eyes, but allowed her to continue. “If you really truly didn’t want the letters to be sent, why did you address them?”

“I didn’t put a stamp on them,” I stuttered.

Ari rolled her eyes, arms still held out towards me, in case I made another try on Sofia’s life. “Can we agree, that maybe don’t want everything in your life to be fantasy?”

“Maybe,” I mumbled.

“So,” Ari said, as Sof ventured to open the closet door, peaking out. “If I can forgive you for writing my boyfriend a love letter, can you maybe forgive Sof for sending them?”

I eyes Sof, “You owe me braid crowns for the rest of your life.”

Sofia sighed, “Oh thank god, I was really hoping to make it to seventh grade.”

__

It didn’t feel like Christmas when I knew my hot tub escapades had gone viral, but of course Ari knew just what to do. She anonymously emailed instagram to have them take down the video under child pornography laws. I couldn’t believe I had accidentally dabbled in porn before losing my virginity, but it’s been a strange year all around.

“Congrats, you’re officially PG-13 again.” Ari said, handing me my phone back.

I looked at it, to see a picture of Shawn and I cuddling together on the couch. That photo had been just for us. Not for instagram or snapchat. Not to make Josh or Gen jealous. It was just the two of us, being real.

“I guess I should change my background,” I whispered.

“You could,” Ari said, “Or you could talk to him.”

tagged: @peacedolantwins2 @rosecth @honestlygarbage @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @justanotherfangurl272 @mcufangirlqueen @my-sweet-escape-from-the-world

[smalleststress]

Hi. I leave for BCT very soon. I will also be at Fort Jackson. How was it? I’m getting extremely nervous as the date approaches. Anything that you can tell me that you wish you knew? Any tips at all would be great.

Hmm, that’s a good question. Keep reading if you want my advice on basic, as someone who completed it recently. In summary, it was rough but worth it.

(Every fort is different so if you are not going to go to Fort Jackson this might differ slightly)

About Basic

+ I didn’t know this when I went, I thought I was going straight to basic but there is a period beforehand before you go to basic that involves very elementary training. How to stand, how to March, all of those things are taught during this time though you definitely get better at them in Basic. The name of it is escaping me now but before basic when you ship off you’ll go there (it’s in the same state, and it will give you a light taste of what basic will be like). Basic is very difficult physically during the beginning.

+ Make sure your hair is in the requirements before you go. Males get their hair buzzed off so it doesn’t really matter but make sure to shave your face or get a profile for it if your face gets super irritated. Females with hair below their collar, yall better have perfected that tight ass bun or have your hair cut the right way above the collar. You can look up the exact requirements online but I cut my hair down so I wouldn’t have to bother with it, waking up is hard enough much less having to put your hair in a bun every single time. Females cant shave their entire head like the guys, so make sure you look up appropriate short hair cuts ( yes, ik its bullshit but its an old regulation)

+ If you don’t know your soldier’s Creed and those types of things ( you can Google search them, they’ll pop right up if you look up BCT requirements) because DS will ask you and you don’t wanna be the person that gets everyone messed up because you don’t know it fully. Know your APFT requirements. I would say make sure you can get close to them but if you have left soon don’t worry about it, they’ll get you there if you do the punishments right and work out. Use those foam rollers!!

+ Drink waaatterr! (You’ll get it after)

This is going to sound stupid but seriously drink water, some DS will be annoying and not want you to drink on the drill floor unless you are told so but usually it’s okay. Don’t be the person that faints because of heatstroke. You’re going around the time I did, which was in August, so the start of BCT will be hot but once you are in AIT it will start getting colder.

+ This sounds like common sense but you’ll be surprised how uncommon it is once you get there, don’t argue with a DS.

Just don’t. Unless it’s something serious that you could get held back for, just let it go. If they call you dumb? Ignore it. Call you slow? Ignore it. Work on that poker face, they are just trying to get a rise out of you or see you break. Accuse you of sleeping in class when you were looking at your fingers? Don’t fight it.

Most of the time, they are just looking for someone to argue with them and if you just agree your punishment is not that bad or you might not get punished at all or just get a lecture.

+ Sunday mornings are for religious times and the DS are not allowed to plan activities during that allowed time or punish you ( they can make you stand outside for hours tho so don’t use it as something to fall back on)

If you don’t want/need to go to church, use this time to write to family and friends, do hygiene ( not showering because you can’t leave quickly from that if y'all get called down), some people shave their legs (tbh I didn’t care no one is trying to impress anyways), some people draw or write. If you are going to try to take a nap, don’t do it on your cot or anywhere where a DS can walk in and immediately see you. No one wants to get in trouble because someone was sleeping, if someone is and you hear a DS coming, wake them the fuck up.

Church wise, I went a couple of times even though I’m not religious, to see a friend of mine who was in a different unit because everyone goes to the same churches for different services, including those it AIT. Don’t be dumb and try to use someone’s phone you will get caught, don’t be dumb and try to give someone your phone to use you will get caught. Other then that, the Spanish Christian church is the best in my opinion. Though I only know a bit of Spanish I had a wonderful time and most in translated into English anyhow. It’s absolutely lovely to see people singing and dancing, waving flags and having a good time after such a stressful previous week.

I can’t tell you where to sleep to not be seen in the barracks but I’m sure you’ll figure that out on your own.

+ If you wear a bra and have to wear one if you are doing physical exercise, wear one to bed. It may be really uncomfortable but if you are woken up in the middle of the night to be punished because someone was sleeping on fireguard, you’ll be happy you aren’t running around without one.

+Help clean your barracks! Don’t be that person that gets everyone fucked up because you don’t know how to hospital fold your bed corners, clean up sand from off the floor or you slacked off during your fireguard shift and everyone gets woken up to be punished. Make sure your uniform is correct and your name tags are on the right side before going out ( I remember it as the Army tag goes over your heart, left side.). Tuck in your shirt if you are in the PT uniform, and make sure your battle buddies aren’t fucked up, because if you don’t check them, a DS will and then no one will be happy cuz you’ll be punished for not looking after one another.

+ If basic is anything, it’s a group effort. No platoon is perfect, and yes your going to have people that you want to smack upside the head, but try as much as you can to help out (especially on obstacle courses, tall people I’m talking to you) and make sure your platoon isn’t the one that DS keep on having to call out for being fucked up.

+ Dear gods, please remember to call the drill floor to stand at attention when a high ranking officer walks up if you see them. You can look up exactly what ranks but please do it for the sake of your platoon. Go to parade rest when you are talking to anyone else or you’ll get punished for it

+ Never go anywhere alone! If you have to discuss something private or sensitive with a DS, still take a battle buddy. The battle buddy system is a real thing and not only helps you create stronger bonds but can really save your ass if you forget something and they remember.

+ DS are going to be the meanest people you’ve ever met for the first phase (red) but you’ll get to know their personalities later on, most stay stern but it isn’t as bad. If you have an issue that could be life-threatening or dangerous, tell them. There is no DS that would want to see their soldier fall because of something that could have been prevented.

+ Only use sick hall if you are really sick! Try not to use it during any training events, especially days where you are going to the shooting range. If you miss even one time at the shooting range, it can really mess you up for any future shooting range events. I missed one and had to get my weapon fixed while everyone else was already qualifying. Clean your damn weapon! Either 

+ Not everything is a requirement to pass basic, I don’t want to tell you what isn’t as you should try your best on everything but number one most important thing that you will get held back for if you don’t pass is the last APFT. You’ll know which one it is because it will be right before the forge, a battle buddy of mine was held back because of it and had to go to an entirely different unit (some people weren’t given a second chance because they did so horribly on it but most were) to take it again and had to go to the forge with them.

+ Don’t! Fraternize! I don’t care if you haven’t had someone kiss you since you were a baby, you can wait till your out of basic! I cannot tell you how many people got caught and messed up for that. If you think writing notes to each other is a good idea, don’t. If you think writing in a journal about them is a good idea, don’t. Those people always get caught, and this goes for gay people too. Y'all are a little less obvious but I cannot tell you how stressful it is for someone to be sleeping in someone else bed when you are on fireguard and you see the DS come in. Don’t be that person. You can get thrown out of basic for it, it isn’t worth your military career. Don’t even touch people of the other sex, even if you are gay, don’t give the DS any reason to try and call you out on it.

+Find friends of the same athletic or slightly better caliber as you. Train with them during free time in the later phases (though you won’t want to) run with them on the APFT test, don’t talk in formation on the frill form with them but carry a conversation when you are allowed to. It helps the time go by and you all can vent to one another about how basic sucks. I’m still friends with the people I went with ( not all of them of course, some people are just irritating and you have to learn to ignore them) and I even went to the wedding of one. We send each other mail and sometimes presents if we hear someone is feeling down since some are active army and others are National guard so we are split up everywhere.

+ While the start of basic is difficult mostly physically and a bit of a culture shock, the last couple of weeks are mentally draining to the core. Once you finish the forge, you will want to get out of there like nothing else. Try to be patient, it’s more difficult then it sounds but this is where most people mess up and screw their training even though they only have a matter of days left. It’s temporary and you will be out before you know it, even if it feels like an eternity spent with these people. I can still name the people who pissed me off and it’s been months and months since I left.

After Basic

+ AIT is better, but it’s still going to be training in the military. I can only speak about fort Jackson AIT because I went there for that as well (42 Alpha, yay). Just because you can get coffee at the DFACT doesn’t mean a DS won’t punish you for doing dumb shit.

Don’t miss the fireguard briefing in AIT, the DS come up in different punishments all the time so don’t be the one they experiment on. One time I and my roommates along with other people stood out in the cold for literally hours waiting for the DS because we missed the briefing and he left us there until he felt like we had learned our lesson. Not the worst punishment but damn if I wasn’t shaking like a leaf.

+ It does get better. I can’t speak for active or reserve, but the unit that I am with now, have some of the nicest people I’ve ever met and I could not be happier. It will be more relaxed (I’m sure active and reserve are to different degrees) and far more friendly than training so don’t stress too much when you eventually leave training and go to your unit.

Things to keep in mind.

It doesn’t last forever. Don’t become unmotivated because you know you have a lot of time still, it sucks ass sometimes but keep your chin up and keep going. Stopping only slows down the process ( unless you are really hurt or need help please don’t hesitate. I waited too long on an injury and I have to do physical therapy for it so stay safe friends)

You won’t see these people forever. While that can be sad in some ways, it’s also a relief as well. They are temporarily in your life, so try and manage not lashing out at them even if you believe they deserve it. No one benefits from extra stress in training so don’t be a source of it.

Sometimes letters take a while to send. Don’t become upset because no one has sent you a letter yet, I got mine faster then my friend in that state did and I live in Delaware. Even though the DS will make jokes about it, your family still loves you and are trying to do their best to reach out to you. If you get something serious or awful news do not hesitate to have a private conversation with a DS. They may seem to mean but they care about your well-being and need to be in the know if something is going on that could impair your ability to train as expected.

Keep a journal if you can. If it becomes stressful, don’t. Mine only has entries from some days, and they definitely are sequential, but try it out. If you need to vent by writing,. Use not obvious code words for people, you don’t want a DS reading it and calling you out for it. It’s interesting reading them once it’s all over, good or bad memories included. I have a ton of pages where there are huge inkblots because I fell asleep while writing. Lol

Don’t psych yourself out. Everyone messed up and gets punished at least once even if you fly under the radar. It’s bound to happen and while you shouldn’t try to make it happen, don’t cry over spilled milk.

Don’t cry in front of a DS if they are yelling at you but feel free to just let it out where ever else. Crying can be very therapeutic and even relive stress, don’t feel ashamed of you had a stress cry during lights out from a bad day, you aren’t weak and they are definitely other people doing the same. As someone who used to cry if someone yelled at me, Basic was a learning curve and one hell of one but it’s not impossible to any sense. People completed it before you many times and people will do it after you many times, you can do it.

You will most likely get homesick or at least miss your loved ones. Again, everything is only temporary. Don’t try to end your training early because you want to go home, it won’t happen and it may even prolong your stay. Get it done and over with so you can see your family on family day and go eat some french fries with them.

That’s about all I can think of, I’ll add if I think of anything but once it is over please feel free to shoot me a message saying how it went! We may even have had the same DS or company, who knows. I’ll update this if I think of anything else.

Stay safe future solider and best of luck!

[jamest-kirk]

omg since you reblogged the gif-set i just realised how much i need another part of the Almost Human McKirk AU so if you want to, please do it, it's just simply perfect and i love it

ALMOST HUMAN AU. 

Part 1 | Part 2 |  Part 3 |

Living with J.I.M. (or just Jim) isn’t even so bad. Initially, Bones insisted Jim charged himself in his own private room, but after a while of them getting increasingly more intimate at home, Bones one day just moves Jim’s charging station to the bedroom. When Jim finds out, he scans Bones’ face curiously, but he’s all too happy to reward his detective boyfriend for that afterwards.

They’re on a case, back with another murder occurring around androids in the sex industry. They find out it’s because some underground clan started combining human DNA with these sex ‘bots, and it makes them go a bit loopy. Murdering and manipulated loopy. After they catch the culprit, the android in question, unaware as she is, has to be shut down. Bones catches Jim’s glance at that, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” he asks. Jim doesn’t immediately respond. He looks at Bones, slowly nodding. “I would like to be there, when she’s shut down. “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Jim replies.

Bones watches Jim quietly talk to the girl - who has absolutely no idea what’s happening to her or why she’s being shut down. “I promise I’ll remember you,” Jim says softly to her, and then he watches the engineer shut her down. Jim seems quite upset over the whole ordeal, and he doesn’t want to go out for a drink. So instead, they sit at home. Jim quietly sits next to Bones on the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?” Bones asks. “I just… what if something happens to me, and you’re gonna have to shut me down?” “That’s not gonna happen,” Bones says. “But what if-” “It’s not gonna happen,” Bones replies firmly. Jim turns to look at him with both fondness and interest in his eyes. “You care about me,” he says, and Bones huffs, resting his hand on Jim’s leg and squeezing it softly. “We all make mistakes.”

Having lost a leg in an accident, Bones’ synthetic leg doesn’t often calibrate right. When it doesn’t, it causes an annoying dull ache that just kind of stays, and his leg doesn’t always functions so well. For some reason, Bones is also an annoying shit enough so that he never actually fixes it. And so at night, Jim has to listen to Bones grunting under his breath, squeezing the skin of his leg just above his synthetic. It takes a long time before he feels comfortable enough to walk around in just shorts, showing off his synthetic leg. It takes even longer for Bones to be comfortable enough to take it off and let it re-calibrate. It drives Jim nuts, because he’s an android himself, why would he even care about a synthetic leg? “C’m here,” Jim says, after listening to Bones try and stifle his own discomfort. Not just that, the synthetic occasionally beeps and says a: “Calibration Incomplete”. “No,” Bones says, “I’m fine.” “Come. Here,” Jim repeats through gritted teeth, grabbing Bones by his shirt and pulling him in closer, both his hands on both sides of Bones’ leg. “You don’t have to-” “Ssh,” Jim hushes him quiet, “you’re driving me insane.” His fingers dip into Bones’ skin, massaging the sore skin. “You gotta look after yourself, Bones,” Jim says, continuing softly, “your leg needs care, and needs to be charged frequently in order for it to calibrate properly. He explains it for a little while, but when he looks up, Bones has fallen asleep.

Things take a turn for the worse quite suddenly. Bones is in the supermarket to buy food, and mostly to stock up on liquor. Jim is tagging along despite not eating things, because he likes to interact with people, and correct Bones’ unhealthy eating (and drinking) habits. “I’m thinking fries and ribs,” Bones says, and Jim frowns. He doesn’t reply, and Bones mostly ignores it. “D'you want to swing by Spock later? We can see if he has updated charging stations,” Bones suggests, grabbing a small box of coleslaw for good measure. As soon as he turns back to Jim, though, the other looks different. Blue eyes a little darker, and his expression mostly just blank. “Jim?” Bones asks, stunned when the other reaches out for Bones’ throat and throws him backwards against the shelves. “Jim–?!” he asks, but then Jim punches him again. And again. And again. Until finally, Bones reaches out with his good leg, kicking Jim backwards.

“Spock, I need a little help here!” Bones shouts into his phone. “What’s the problem?” Spock asks. “I don’t know- Jim’s malfunctioning,” Bones says, shielding away from Jim trying to attack him or other grocery shoppers. “His system’s been rewritten,” Spock says after a few seconds of silence and Bones hears nothing but the typing on his computer. “Okay, so what do we do?” “Turn him off.” “Okay.” “Permanently.” “What? Spock, no,” Bones says. “Leonard, someone’s accessed his data and is rewriting it as we speak.” “Then stop them,” Bones hisses, “you’re not going to shut down Jim permanently.” “I have to follow protocol,” Spock replies, then he’s silent for a few seconds, “but if you can knock him out, I’ll see what I can do for you to postpone shutting him down.”

Bones does manages. Barely so, and with significant damage done to the grocery store. Jim has a temporary off-switch, like all models, though it’s hard to find and even harder to switch. Bones has to keep Jim trapped to the ground so he can find it. And when he does, and Jim powers down, Bones feels horrible. Not just because of the probable concussion from being hit in the head multiple times, or the possible broken nose, but because he watches the light go out in the eyes of his best friend. It sucks. “C’m here, buddy,” he says, pulling the lifeless body up in his arms, “I’m gonna fix this.”

He watches Spock try for a few days. But every time he turns Jim on, the other seems to be more violent and less responsive to commands. Bones, however, refuses to let him power him down permanently. “Tell me what I can do,” Bones says, “is there another body we can transfer him to? There’s multiple J.I.M.s stored away.” “It’s not the body, it’s the CPU,” Spock says, “if we transfer that, the problem will just happen again but in another body. If we don’t transfer it, you’ll be with a different J.I.M., who has no memories of you, whose synthetic soul might react to things differently. It’s a whole different person, just in the same body.” “Then tell me what I can do,” Bones insists. “I… I guess, if we could track down his maker,” Spock says, running a hand through his hair, “but the one who created these Synthetic Souls, he’s been underground for a long time.” “I’ll find him,” Bones says, grabbing his jacket so that he can get to work immediately. “Leonard,” Spock says, “you and I both know these androids are second class citizens, and they’ll always be treated as such. Loving one, even someone as real as Jim, it’s never going to be accepted. These things are against the law.” Bones narrows his eyes a little, but doesn’t say anything. “All I’m trying to say,” Spock says, “is be careful. Not with falling for an android, but with having other people - the wrong people - find out about that.”

Tracking down his maker takes long. Too long, Bones thinks, and every day he’s worried Jim’s not going to wake up the same again. But Bones finds him. Christopher Pike; a retired robotics engineer and inventor, who has distanced himself to be almost completely off grid. The only reason Bones finds him is because he runs into Uhura; another android, but one who feels oddly similar to Jim in behavior. It doesn’t take him long to figure out that a synthetic soul is behind that, and so he tracks her down until she leads him straight to the older man. “Pike,” Bones says once he finds the other in his own backyard, “I need your help.” “Haven’t heard that name in a while,” Pike replies. “One of the androids at the precinct has been hacked. We suspect his synthetic soul-” Pike huffs at that. “Those bland MX androids don’t have synthetic souls, boy. They’re sheep. Just following orders.” “I’m talking about J.I.M.,” Bones replies, slowly sinking down in a garden chair next to Pike. “Jim,” Pike repeats slowly, “they were all turned off.” “We turned one back on,” Bones says, “he’s a police officer now. No longer a tool for the sex- and espionage industry. He saved a lot of lives.” “I always told them Jim was designed for more than just pleasure,” Pike says. “Can you help him?” Bones presses gently. “J.I.M.s were turned off for a reason, son,” Pike replies, “their synthetic souls… flawed. Couldn’t handle consciousness, love, and devotion. Turned most of them mad, and vulnerable to those wanting to take advantage. It’s probably best if he stays turned off.” “Please,” Bones says, “I tracked you down because you’re the only chance he’s got. He’s my best friend.”

Pike works tirelessly on rebooting Jim. Bones stays by his side all that time, assisting where necessary. So does Spock, and Uhura helps, too. The two of them seem to take an odd liking for each other. Finally, the next time Jim opens his eyes, they look normal. He stares up at the ceiling, mildly confused and taking his time to register his location. “What are we doing in Spock’s lab?” he asks, slowly sitting up straight, “I thought we were going for fries and ribs?” He’s silenced by Bones, who pulls him into a breathtaking hug - one that would’ve been painful if Jim was actually alive and breathing. “Hey, what happened?” Jim asks, gently patting Bones’ shoulder. “Does he not remember anything?” Bones asks when he pulls away. Pike shakes his head. “Had to erase it all. You know, to leave no corrupt data behind.” “Who’s this?” Jim asks. “Jim, this is Pike,” Bones says, “your maker.”

Jim watches Bones and Spock, both talking to Uhura while enjoying a steaming cup of coffee. They’ve given Jim some distance to talk to Pike, though Jim can’t help but sense Bones’ glances towards him a lot. “Thank you,” Jim says, after having been made aware of the situation, “I appreciate you helping me.” “Don’t worry about it,” Pike says, “how are you feeling, kid?” “Fine,” Jim says, “but I’ve been wondering-” “If it’s all real?” Pike asks, “that annoying sense of right and wrong, doubt and hesitation, maybe love for others?” “Yes,” Jim says, a bit stunned. “That’s why we call it a soul, Jim,” Pike replies, “everything you’re feeling, no matter how frustrating or confusing it may seem. It’s you. I created it, but it’s not me who decides which path you take, who you choose to be with, or what your opinion is about things. Everything you feel, it’s all you.”

Coming home feels odd. Like Jim hasn’t been away at all, though the place looks like he has been. Bones’ apartment is a mess of takeout food, research papers, clothes, and empty beer bottles. “You really let yourself go while I was out, huh?” Jim asks, taking off his jacket. Bones shrugs. “I was busy,” he replies. “With what?” “Saving you,” Bones says. “Thought you’d be glad to be rid of me,” Jim says, tossing a few empty beer bottles away, but really, cleaning can wait. So when Bones sits down on the couch, Jim brings him a cold beer, and he sits down next to him. “Maybe the first few days,” Bones admits with a small grin, though Jim knows he’s joking. “Thank you,” Jim says, after a small pause. “For what?” “Not letting them shut me down,” Jim replies. Bones’ arm moves around Jim’s shoulder, and Jim’s more than willing to lean in close. His hands move to Bones’ leg, which probably needs a lot of attention after being neglected while the man was busy trying to save him. “We all make mistakes,” Bones says, and Jim laughs. I love you, is on Jim’s mind, and he considers saying it. But when he looks up at the human, and he leans in to kiss him, Jim’s pretty sure Bones already knows.

[rlc19]

Get to Know Me

Originally an ask thing, I’m turning this into a tag. So yeah. Here we go. Also, it’s a pretty decent size, so be prepared for that.

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

A black backdrop on my laptop, and a witchy-looking bookshelf for my cellphone.

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? 

Yes.

3) What was your last text message? 

“Hokay, see you soon!” to my roommate.

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? 

I honestly don’t know. I would like to be a published author who sells reasonably well, but chances are I’ll either have found my way into teaching comparative religions or creative writing, or I’ll still be working for the same coffee shop chain.

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? 

Real place? With Buddy.

Fictional place? Beacon Academy

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?

A dark priest. Pretty generic tbh.

7) What was your favorite 90′s show?

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

8) Who was your last kiss?

I don’t honestly remember.

9) Have you ever been stood up?

No.

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough.

11) Have you been to Las Vegas?

Yes, and I really want to go back.

12) Your favorite pair of shoes?

My combat boots.

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

This question requires me to have been in a serious committed relationship at some point in my lifetime, so no, I have not.

14) What is your favorite fruit? Lemons.

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?

I mean, I aggressively have feelings for Dylan.

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?

Not into hookups, and definitely long term relationships.

17) Do you smoke? If so, what?

I do not, no.

18) What do you do to get over your anger?

Watch YouTube videos or a show that I love.

19) Do you believe in God? 

I do believe he exists, but I do not personally believe in him. My faith lies with the Gaulish deities.

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it?

I’m not in love with anyone, so no.

21) Favorite position?

Being horizontal, curled up against my body pillow. I don’t care if that’s not the answer you’re looking for, it’s the answer you’re getting. Moving right along.

22) What’s your horoscope sign?

Tropical Zodiac: I am a Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising.

Sidereal Zodiac: Ophiuchus. (I don’t know much about the Sidereal Zodiac, tbh).

23) Your fears?

Failure, the future, being stuck in the same job for an extended period without moving forward in my life, dying.

24) How many pets do you have? What kind?

1 asshole cat who I love dearly.

25) What never fails to turn you on?

Heterochromia and pillow-y man bosoms.

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?

I really want to have a picnic in the woods or by a lake on a slightly overcast day that’s like, 65 degrees, with maybe a slight breeze.

27) What is something most people don’t know about you?

The most calming sound to me is that of running water, such as fountains, waterfalls, and waves.

28) What makes you feel the happiest?

Spending time out and about in nature.

29) What store do you shop at most often?

Fry’s Food and Drug.

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?

Idk bruh? Yeah, I don’t know, this would require experimentation I haven’t as of yet had the opportunity to participate in.

31) Do you believe in karma?

In something like it, yes.

32) Are you single?

Hella single.

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

Candy for apologies, although I’ll never say no to flowers either.

34) Are you a good swimmer?

Decent.

35) Coffee or tea?

Por que no los dos?

36) Online shopping or shopping in person?

For clothes and books, in person. For electronics, online.

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

If I had to pick one, younger.

38) Cats or Dogs?

Again, por que no los dos?

39) Are you a competitive person? Not generally, but I can be.

40) Do you believe in aliens?

Not particularly.

41) Do you like dancing?

Yes.

42) What kind of music do you listen to?

Quite a range of genres, ranging from country, to metal, to Celtic folk, to dubstep, to classical.

43) What is your favorite cartoon character?

Raven from the Teen Titans.

44) Where are you from?

Arizona.

45) Eat at home or eat out?

Eat at home.

46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk?

I’m not, I sleep or get really quiet in the corner.

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?

Dinner.

48) Why do you think your followers follow you?

Because they are my friends irl.

49) How many hours do you sleep at night?

On average, 8-9. It’s death, without the commitment.

50) What worries you most about the future?

The fact that I don’t know where I’ll be. I kind of failed at setting goals for myself up until this point, so currently it’s just a gray fog staring bleakly back at me until I figure out what I want to do with my life.

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?

Not very long. I’m working on being nicer to myself, but I’m pretty hard on myself and pretty negative, so yeah.

52) Are you happy with yourself?

No, but I’m getting there, it’s something I’m actively working on.

53) What do you wish you didn’t know?

The Ouroboros story by Unsettling Stories. I really can’t do auto-cannibalism.

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?

Your will to live is like Hope (the Hope trapped at the bottom of Pandora’s Box/Pithos), it cannot be taken from you, you must give it up freely yourself. And no matter what happens, if you trust in your will to live, you can survive.

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

The house from Charmed, I really want that kitchen.

56) What’s your favorite website?

YouTube.

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?

Using fiction as an extended escapist retreat from reality. I still do use fiction as an escape, but not in an unhealthy manner like I had been.

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?

To Phoenix to visit the Misty.

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?

A copy of La Peau de chagrin by  Honoré de Balzac.

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

Sweet and Sour Chicken, or Orange Chicken.

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

Uhm...Maine?

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?

Mythology.

63) Favorite kind of chips?

Ruffles chips with ranch dip.

64) Favorite kind of sandwich?

Reuben.

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

Dictionary.

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?

Nope.

67) What’s your favorite form of exercise?

Kickboxing.

68) Are you afraid of heights?

Heights? No. Falling? Yes.

69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?

Advanced Fiction.

70) What’s your favorite breakfast?

Bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.

71) Do you like guacamole?

Not particularly.

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

Yes.

73) What/who are you thinking about right now?

The fact that Kara Eberle and Jason David Frank are going to be at Phoenix Comicon, which I will be going to.

74) Do you like cuddling?

For the most part, yes.

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

OH YEAH, LIKE DON’T EVEN JOKE WITH ME ON THIS ONE. I mean, yeah, sure, maybe like one thing...

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?

No, but I’ve come close. 

77) Favorite city you’ve been to?

Either Munich, a little medieval town in France that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of, or Anaheim.

78) Would you break the law to save a family member?

If it was my brother, sister-in-law, or niece, yes. Otherwise, no.

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?

I haven’t really done anything SUPER embarrassing, just small stuff, so I don’t really have anything for you here.

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?

Equal rights for everyone, and saving plant and animal life.

81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I melted the skin, tendons, and ligaments in my right hand when I was 4. I’m honestly lucky I still have the use of my right hand.

82) Favorite day of the week?

Friday, and not because it’s the last day of the work week. It’s the day when people are excited for the weekend, and it generally just has an overall more positive feel to it than other days of the week.

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

I would say so.

84) How do you feel about porn?

For the most part, I have positive feelings about it.

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?

So, this is a hard question, and I don’t honestly know 100%, but I’ll say Ricky Martin.

86) Who was your hottest ex?

So, tbh, I don’t think any of my exes were “hot”, they were attractive but not “hot”. But to answer the question, I’ll say Austin.

87) Do you want/have kids?

No thank you.

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?

Romantically, no.

89) Do you get easily distracted?

Yes, very easily.

90) Ass or titties?

Pillow-y man bosoms, 100%. But I wont’ say no to a nice ass, either.

91) What is your favorite word?

Kerfuffle.

92) How do you feel about tattoos?

I quite enjoy them.

93) Do you have any pets?

Please refer back to question 24.

94) How tall are you?

5′10″

95) How old are you?

22 years old.

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?

My eyes, my fingernails, the length of my fingers.

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about? Literature, mythology, and religion.

98) Do you have trust issues?

Somewhat?

99) Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, I believe in lust at first sight.

100) What are some words that you live by? Why?

One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice who you are, and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.

Because it’s a good reminder to live for yourself, not someone else.

 So yeah, there you go, 100 things to get to know me. I’m going to tag @rogue-one-drinks-coffee​, @fannibalgirl92​, @sassmastercrane​, and @dustychica​, and anyone else who wants to do the thing (but don’t feel like you have to).