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xveenusx · 8 months

Text

Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored.

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line.

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something.

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered.

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part.

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet.

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before.

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest.

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?”

What was she even doing here?

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself.

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with.

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention.

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with.

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.”

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did.

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society.

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them.

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting.

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?”

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck.

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement.

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh.

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved.

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.”

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out.

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all.

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded.

Being responsible was so overrated.

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused.

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?”

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..”

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.”

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.”

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused.

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.”

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?”

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?”

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.”

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest.

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone.

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away.

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well.

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look.

“Are you kidding?”

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.”

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough.

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel.

“Are your hands broken?”

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience.

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always.

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body.

“I grew up.”

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive.

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear.

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?”

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me.

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice.

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives.

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty.

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?”

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead.

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?”

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable.

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of the coke laid out in front of me?

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room.

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face.

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them.

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body.

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me.

Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me.

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be.

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction.

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:”

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response.

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months.

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again.

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted.

He was so beautiful.

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin.

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually.

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds.

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch.

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in.

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed.

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated.

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but.

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that.

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest.

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists.

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face.

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear.

“You had a little something on your nose.”

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake.

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it.

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes.

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.”

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room.

“He didn’t want you.”

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel.

“Yeah, well you don’t either.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure.

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left.

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard.

“If you want a whore, go buy one.”

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet.

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore.

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time.

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.”

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz.

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing.

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another.

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other.

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way.

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing.

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun.

Why couldn’t he see that?

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down.

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look.

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right?

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke.

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed.

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me.

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private.

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me.

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself.

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.”

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute.

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain.

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom.

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.”

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?”

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go.

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?”

She nodded, apprehension on her face.

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.”

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.”

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand.

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat.

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.”

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?”

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.”

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable.

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare.

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage.

How the hell was I going to talk to him now?

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired.

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.”

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.”

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?”

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words.

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist.

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down.

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s.

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that.

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day.

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside.

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought.

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?”

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.”

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.”

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered.

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror.

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties.

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah and I’m failing.”

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped.

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation.

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me.

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire.

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention.

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up.

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter.

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his.

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin.

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy.

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat.

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse.

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button.

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.”

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses.

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter.

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together.

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants.

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom.

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him.

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal.

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing.

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply.

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle.

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself.

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene.

“That’s not very nice.”

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy.

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe.

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance.

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control.

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy.

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically.

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk.

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door.

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs.

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it.

“She’s a little busy at the moment.”

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again.

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone.

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to.

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer.

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants.

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper.

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back.

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes.

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious.

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me.

I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more.

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us.

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him.

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank.

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory.

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets.

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets.

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me.

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara?

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated.

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me?

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob.

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out.

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us.

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear.

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain.

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.”

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.”

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger.

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me?

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex?

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.”

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy.

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily.

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them.

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt.

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets.

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me.

“I’m sorry.”

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in.

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket.

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away.

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was.

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t.

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me.

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side.

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating.

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home.

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up.

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay.

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement.

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped.

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head.

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me.

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple.

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts.

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me.

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?”

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.”

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.”

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched.

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves.

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.”

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets.

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond.

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched.

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes,

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?”

“It was actually a couple purses.”

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with.

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have.

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.”

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone.

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.”

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat. And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying.

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance.

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up.

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other.

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest.

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself.

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.”

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself.

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse.

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress.

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me.

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

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these-written-reveries · 2 months

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Crushed Hopes & Broken Promises

‣ Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x GN!Reader

‣ Summary: All hopes for your special dinner date with Keigo are crushed the moment he breaks his promise to you in favor of his workaholic tendencies.

‣ Genre: Flangst, Hurt/Comfort

‣ Warnings: Angst, crying, broken hearts, getting ditched during your date, Keigo is a workaholic, Keigo being a bit of an asshole, some mild references to spicy things.

‣ Word Count: 5,988

‣ A/N: I was prompted to write this after thinking about Keigo and how he'd likely struggle at times to be a great partner in a romantic relationship, due to his inexperience, trauma, and demanding job. The start of the relationship would be bumpy, for sure. But he'd always work hard to be better for his s/o, and that's what truly matters! Hope ya'll enjoy this piece!

Main Masterlist

A whistle carried through the grand living space of Hawk’s penthouse as you stepped into his line of sight. Leaning against a nearby wall with his hands in his pockets, he suddenly straightened his spine at the sight of you, his feathers twitching in excitement. His eyes scanned every inch of you, pleased at the sight of such a masterpiece walking his way.

“Baby bird…You look stunning.”

He could barely control the way his voice nearly bordered on a moan as he looked you up and down. You looked simply ravishing. How did he get so goddamn lucky?

“Are you tonight’s meal?”

You were certain you couldn’t be any more flustered as you shook your head. The way he was devouring you with his eyes, licking his lips like a starved animal, had your heart racing faster in your chest. He stalked towards you like you were his prey. The intensity in his eyes made you look away, only for him to firmly lift your chin up to meet his golden gaze once more.

“Would you like to be?”

His sultry tone, paired with the lustful look in his eyes made your knees wobble slightly. You could feel yourself nearly giving in, before you finally broke free from his trance, lightly smacking his hand away.

“Stop trying to seduce me right now, you siren!”

Keigo laughed, and your heart skipped a beat. “Can’t help it when you look so good, pretty bird. You sure you’re not the one trying to seduce me?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “No…At least not yet.”

You smiled teasingly at him before pressing a kiss on his cheek. You were about to walk away when Keigo grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him.

“Uh-uh, baby bird. I’m not done with you yet.” He smirked before pulling you in for a kiss. It was passionate at first, but tapered into a tender finale before he pulled away, leaving you both a little breathless. He pressed his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes for a moment, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I’m such a lucky bastard.”

This made you scoff slightly, causing Keigo’s brow to furrow a bit as he pulled back to look at you properly. “What?”

“You’re not the lucky one, Kei. I am,” you spoke with certainty. “That’s why I wanted to create this nice evening for you. To show you how grateful I am for you.”

Now it was Keigo’s turn to scoff. “First of all, you’re wrong. Second of all, you don’t have to do all of this just for that. You don’t owe me anything, baby.”

“It’s not just for that reason! It’s also because I lo- care about you so much and I want you to feel as special as you make me feel. I may not have the same means to be able to spoil you like you do me, but I can at least give you a nice homemade dinner and romantic evening!”

You seemed nervous as you spoke, causing Keigo to reach for your hand and bring it to his lips. A soft show of affection and reassurance as he smiled at you.

“The evening already couldn’t get any better. I’ve got my baby bird in my arms and a delicious smelling dinner awaiting us at the table. Can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.”

He always knew exactly what to say to set your nerves at ease. You had put a lot of effort into tonight, trying to make everything perfect for him. He had mentioned previously how he’d never had anyone else cook for him before, so you decided to put your all into making him the best homemade meal for tonight’s date. You weren’t the greatest cook, so you spent the last week testing out the recipes for each part of the special dinner at your place, tweaking things as you went so that you wouldn’t mess things up tonight. Somewhat conveniently, Keigo had been gone on a mission all week, so it gave you plenty of uninterrupted time alone to prepare, without running the risk of him sneaking in through your balcony, like he so loved to do, and ruining the surprise.

Both of you had been looking forward to tonight’s date all week. Keigo seemed even more giddy than you were, knowing that he’d left the plans to his dove this time, upon your insistence. When he realized what you had planned for him, his heart nearly burst with pure adoration for you. He knew you weren’t the best cook, so the act in and of itself was enough to make him want to shower you with kisses. He almost did just that, until you reminded him that the food would get cold if you both didn’t quickly change for dinner.

It took all his self-control not to race to his bedroom like an eager child, just so he could hurry back to you. Even still, he was out of his hero costume and into his outfit, that you so lovingly picked out for him, in record time. A simple white button-down with a sleek black blazer, slacks, and matching loafers. You even laid out some accessories for him too, such as one of his gold watches and a matching gold necklace with a low-hanging pendant. Were you hinting at him to wear his shirt partially unbuttoned? How cute.

Keigo beamed as you led him over to the dinner table, admiring the way you had carefully set the table. A vase of red roses, guarded by a few burning candles, sat just far enough aside that the two of you would still be able to clearly see one another from your seats across the table. Sparkling, gold-rimmed white china plates sat beside red cloth serviettes atop the silky white tablecloth. He watched as you took the pre-opened bottle of red wine and poured some into his crystal glass.

“Sit, angel. I’ve been keeping the food warm in the oven. I’ll be right back,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek before heading to the kitchen.

He sat down with a sigh, smiling at the beautiful presentation that you clearly put so much effort into. Not even a single piece of silverware out of place.

When you came back, you filled his plate for him, followed by yours. You refused to let him lift a finger, raising a brow at him when he reached out in an attempt to help you place one of the bowls of food onto the table. He couldn’t help but smile at you as you sat down across from him, his eyes so full of soft gooey adoration for you, you couldn’t help but feel heat rush to your cheeks as you broke free from his gaze, opting to change the subject before he flustered you even further. The man had a talent for making you look like a head over heels fool, just from a single word or look from those pretty golden eyes. You were certain he already knew the full extent of how you felt about him. You simply couldn’t hide it from him, no matter how hard you tried.

So why were you still so nervous about confessing your love to him tonight?

“I hope the food is good. Worst case, I have the number for our favorite takeout place ready to go,” you said, looking at the food on your plate.

“Honestly, dove, I can already tell it’s going to taste amazing, simply by how good it looks and smells. I’m genuinely impressed. You did all this yourself?”

You nodded, once again feeling heat rise to your cheeks as you picked up your fork and motioned towards his plate of steaming food. “Don’t hype me up too much, you haven’t even tried it yet.”

Watching with bated breath as Keigo took the first bite, you found yourself simultaneously relieved and pleased at the moan he let out, closing his eyes as he chewed the food carefully, making sure to savor every molecule of flavor. When he swallowed, he opened his eyes to find you staring back at him, a small smirk on your face.

“That was either an Oscar-worthy performance, or you truly like the food. Can’t quite tell which it is right now,” you joked.

Keigo chuckled, a big smile taking over his face as he reached for your hand across the table. “I may be a great actor, but that was all authentic, baby bird. Truly, this is the most amazing meal I’ve ever had!”

“Okay, now you’re definitely lying-”

“Am not! I’m not even surprised. This was made by my amazing, incredible, gorgeous baby bird, after all.” He raised his other hand, pressing the tips of his fingers to his lips in a silly “chef’s kiss”, making you giggle. “And you dare say I’m not the lucky one, huh?”

He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, eyes locked with yours, until he caught something else in his periphery. He must’ve been too enamored by everything else before to notice the small square gift box sitting at the corner of the table.

“And what is that?” he asked, curiously, nodding towards the thin white and gold box.

You followed his eyes, and he felt your hand tighten it’s grip a little on his.

“That’s for after dinner,” you said, watching him lift a brow at you inquisitively.

“You didn’t spend a pretty penny on me, did you birdie?”

You shook your head. “It wasn’t too much, promise. More time and effort spent than anything else.”

His eyes softened once more. “I truly am getting spoiled tonight, aren’t I?”

Giggling, you brought his hand to your lips, causing pink to spread across his cheeks. “You deserve it, baby. Now, eat up!”

Just as the two of you began to dive into your meal, the familiar ring of Keigo’s phone interrupted the peaceful ambiance of the room. You instantly grew tense, as did Keigo. He had promised you that he wouldn’t be on call for hero work during your time together for the next few days. Not only had you missed each other dearly and were very much in need of some quality time together, but Keigo more than needed the rest after the strenuous mission he had just completed.

You silently hoped it was a spam caller or wrong number as Keigo pulled his phone out of his pocket. But your hopes were crushed when he gave you an apologetic glance, stepping out of the room to answer the call.

Sitting at your place in the dining room, you left your food untouched as you waited patiently for his return. Perhaps he was simply getting a call to report some new important information to him, potentially about the mission he just completed. Even if they were trying to call him to the front lines, you were certain he’d decline and refer some of his other employees to cover for his absence.

But as the minutes ticked by, you began to grow more worried. What was going on? Was there some kind of grand emergency that couldn’t be solved without his specific order? The silence of the room was starting to eat away at you and put you on edge. You glanced back towards the hallway leading to the bedroom, hoping that he’d walk back out with a smile on his face, the kind that always set you at ease, and take up his seat across from you once more to continue your long-awaited romantic evening together.

Just as you were about to stand up to check on him, the bedroom door opened, encouraging you to stay in your place as you waited for him to walk back into the room. You smiled as you heard his footsteps, only for your smile to instantly falter at the sight of him in his hero costume instead of his date attire. He didn’t have the comforting smile on his face you were expecting, but instead, the stoic look of Hawks as he walked past you to grab the coat he’d left draped over the couch earlier and put it on.

You stood and made your way over to him, the lump growing in your throat that you tried your best to mask as you spoke to him.

“What’s going on?”

“Some villain attack on a nearby building. Got a pesky quirk and I’m the closest, so they called me,” he explained, like he was giving a fellow employee the rundown, rather than his partner, who he was about to ditch at any moment.

“W-What about dinner?” was all you could say. Your eyes were starting to burn with tears now as he quickly moved towards the balcony door, you following behind him like a sad puppy.

“Save it as leftovers! I’ll finish it later,” he said, putting on his visor as he reached for the door handle. You reached for him.

“Kei-”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can!” he called out as he swiftly moved past the doorway. You opened your mouth to speak, but you were cut off by the whoosh of his wings lifting him off the ground and into the air. Wind blew your hair around as you stared at the sky, watching him quickly become smaller and smaller until he was out of sight.

You stood there in shock for a moment. You were somewhat used to Keigo leaving on a whim after being together for so many months, but you truly were not expecting him to leave tonight, nor were you expecting him to act so…distant. He didn’t even kiss you goodbye or apologize for leaving. You suddenly found yourself questioning whether Keigo was even enjoying the evening before he got the call. He certainly didn’t waste any time in leaving.

You shook these thoughts out of your head. He was simply doing his job. And that meant switching into his “hero headspace”. That was all it was. He was focused on the job, like usual. That’s what made him a great hero.

That’s also what makes him a not-so-great partner, you thought.

Cursing yourself for even thinking such a thing about him, you stormed off and sat at the dinner table once more. Keigo didn’t deserve to be thought of in such a way. He had been an absolute angel to you since the two of you met. While you had only been dating for just over four months, you had both grown so close already. Even despite the fact that things were a bit more complicated due to his work, you were truly happy with him. You wouldn’t trade him for the world.

You loved him. That’s what you were planning to tell him tonight.

That’s why your nerves had been all over the place all evening. You were ready to take things up a notch with him, starting with your confession and a special gift to show him what he means to you. It was a daunting thing for you, considering he hadn’t said those three words first. He was usually the one to take the initiative with most things, tell you what he wants, ask you on dates, say what he really thinks about you, spoil you to high heaven simply because he wanted to. Even when you tried to do the same, he always seemed to be a step ahead of you.

But this time, you were determined to be one step ahead of him. You had worked so hard to make every detail of this date perfect for him, to make him feel even an ounce of the way he made you feel every single day you spent together. You wanted to surprise him, in more ways than one. That’s why you bought the most gorgeous outfit you could find, styled yourself to perfection, spent all week preparing to make the best homemade meal you could muster, and spent weeks beforehand crafting a heartfelt gift for him to go along with your confession.

You just hoped you wouldn’t surprise him too much with the confession itself.

Once again, you hoped. Hoped that he would come home soon, so that you could resume your evening together. Hoped that he would kiss you and smile and reassure you that everything is fine and that he wouldn’t dare miss another second of this wonderful time with you. Hoped that once you told him how you really felt about him, he would return your feelings. Or, at the very least, not reject them and run away. Hoped that he would love your gift to him. That he’d cherish it forever, along with you by his side.

The hours ticked by, your food still untouched as you hoped.

By the time the third hour grew near, you stood from your sprawled out position on the couch, breaking your gaze away from the time shown on the lockscreen of your phone. The food had been put away, the dishes cleaned. You couldn’t bring yourself to clean up the rest of the décor on the dining table, in hopes that he might come back home and still wish to eat with you at the table.

By the fourth hour and no text back from Keigo, your hopes were completely crushed, along with the special evening you’d put so much effort into.

You trudged your way towards the dining table, lip quivering as you took off the necklace Keigo gave to you not long ago, made with one of his feathers so that he could always track you and keep an eye on you for safety purposes. Though, it was quite clear that the other predominant reason was that he wanted to feel close to you, even when you were apart. You loved the necklace, but you also knew that he could sense your crying if he were to tune in enough to hear it, and the last thing you wanted was to distract him during his work. Knowing that the dam behind your eyes was going to break at any moment now, you gently set the feather on the table, next to your unopened gift to him, and walked to his bedroom.

It was too late now, and you’d had a few glasses of wine, so there was no point leaving his place to head back to yours, especially since he was expecting you when he got back. You’d promised to spend the next few days with him, after all.

Your phone dinged. A text message from Keigo showed on your lockscreen. Sighing, you bit back your tears, hoping he’d tell you he was on his way home. At least then you could at least enjoy a little bit of time together before you went to bed that night. Get him some food. You were sure he was starving by now. You would be too, if you weren’t so sick with sadness and disappointment and the lack of him.

Birb Man❤️: Won’t be home till later, baby bird. Don’t wait up.

Maybe you wouldn’t wait up. Maybe you’d leave and go back to your place. Sleep in your own bed. You weren’t all that pleased with the idea of sleeping with him anyway after the way things turned out tonight.

That was a lie. You wanted nothing more than to feel the weight of his arms and wings wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the world and making you feel safe. While you were disappointed and upset with him, you were too weak to reject such a pleasure; something you had been missing for over a week now.

Even so, perhaps it would be best if you left?

No.

You’d stick to your promise, at least. Even if he didn’t stick to his.

You took one last look at yourself in the full-length mirror in the bedroom before finally bursting into a fit of tears. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you covered your face as you sobbed.

Eventually, you managed to get yourself to take apart the masterpiece that you had made yourself into for the night. Your hands trembled slightly as you took off your beautiful outfit, thinking about how you were previously looking forward to him being the one to get you out of these clothes. You took your jewelry off, tossing it onto the dresser without caring about how it all messily scattered across the polished wood.

Once you were out of your own clothes, you dug around for something to wear to bed, settling on one of Keigo’s t-shirts. You almost whimpered at the comforting smell of him filling your nose, that only seemed to upset you more, before making your way to the bathroom.

You could barely see yourself in the mirror through your blurry, tear-filled vision as you washed your face and sloppily brushed your teeth between sobs, not paying much attention to the accuracy of your brushing.

All you could think about was him, and how selfish you were for wanting him to yourself. But could you really be blamed for this? The outside world got more time with your boyfriend than you did. You were always so understanding of his job, his responsibilities, his goals. You supported him, endlessly. Even when it left you feeling unfulfilled and lonely. He always made up for it, of course. He spoiled you non-stop with his affection and luxurious dates and gifts when he did have time to spend with you. And you were grateful. So incredibly grateful for his efforts. You knew he was trying his best and that’s what made all of it worth it.

But this time was different. You made him explicitly promise you that he’d be all yours for the next few days, and he agreed. A few days, and he couldn’t even follow through with this one humble request.

Keigo was a workaholic. You knew this. But you had hoped he’d at least understand how important these few days were for you and your relationship, especially since you hadn’t seen much of each other lately.

Keigo had two talents. Taking your heart to new, brilliant heights and leaving your heart crushed on the ground after subsequentially being dropped from said heights.

Of course, you knew he didn’t mean to hurt you. You just wished he could be as committed to saving your heart from such a demise as he was the rest of the world.

But just like your hopes, you knew exactly where your wishes would end up tonight.

Splattered on the cold hard ground alongside you.

Keigo could barely hold the weight of his wings any longer as he entered through the balcony door of his penthouse, wings drooping behind him. He let out a sigh, relieved to finally be home. His mind instantly went to you, wondering if you had already gone to bed or not.

His feet began leading him to you before he could even tell them to move. His feathers were exhausted, just like the rest of him, yet somehow the thought of you filled him with enough energy to leave them slightly twitching with excitement. They always had a mind of their own when it came to you.

Except, instead of the bedroom, his feet stopped at the dining room table. Confused, he was about to turn around, blame it all on his heavy exhaustion, until he caught the red feather necklace in the corner of his eye. He reached for it, taking it in his hand as he felt a pang of anxiousness run through him. Normally, you only took it off for brief moments, such as to bathe. Did you forget to put it back on? Did something bad happen?

He instantly rushed towards the bedroom, feathers already slipping underneath the crack of the door and surrounding areas to proactively inspect the rooms for anything suspicious ahead of his arrival. He could immediately sense your presence. The steady sound of your heartbeat and breathing instantly setting him at ease. He called his feathers back to him as he reached for the handle of the bedroom door.

He smiled softly at the sight of you curled up in bed, your back facing the door. He carefully walked over to your side of the bed, willing his feathers to stop their excited rustling, so as not to wake you, as he knelt down to your level.

The smile on his face quickly fell as soon as he registered your puffy eyes and tear-stained pillow. His heart dropped just as suddenly, the ache in his chest spreading.

Reaching out his hand, he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, fingertips grazing against your cheek and causing you to stir slightly in your sleep. His mind was racing as he tried to piece together why you had been crying. To his knowledge, there was nothing that would have made you this upset. Nothing, except…

Him.

A flashback of Keigo dedicating these days off to you, sealing the promise with a loving kiss, played in his mind. The way your eyes lit up with excitement made him feel so full of love for you. He silently swore to himself in that moment that he’d do anything to keep you this happy all the time.

Turns out, he couldn’t even keep his own promises to himself.

Keigo buried his face in his hands, his eyes burning as he suddenly felt the urge to burst into tears. He was so tired after the week’s mission. He wanted nothing more than to spend the next few days with you. You always helped him recharge and get back on his feet before his next inevitably exhausting shift or mission.

He was even more thrilled that you were so adamant on being in charge of the date this time around. He had been looking forward to it all week long. Being away from you was torture. All he wanted was to be with you again.

Now, the consequences of his actions were really setting in. You had put so much work into this evening. You probably thought he was a complete and utter asshole. The worst partner in the universe. He wouldn’t disagree with you on that.

Keigo was not the best at relationships. He barely had real friends, never mind any romantic partners, before you. He knew he had a tendency to put hero work above all else. You had pointed it out before but was always quick to drop the subject once he casually explained that it’s just part of his job. He assumed you understood. This was what life was like with him. He was the number two hero. Everyone expected so much out of him. And he had big goals. To create a society where heroes could rest easy. You seemed to be supportive of this.

Perhaps too supportive…

Keigo left the room, wings drooping even more than before as he trudged down the hallway. He regretted ever answering that call, for taking the job when he knew he’d much rather be with you, enjoying the perfect evening you put together for him. Everything was perfect. You were perfect. Everything he had ever dreamed of and more.

God, he didn’t deserve you.

As he stared down at the little square gift box in his hands, he felt thoroughly and utterly ashamed. He didn’t even think about his promise to you when he agreed to the job, about how much work you put into the evening, for him. He just shut down, switched into autopilot, into hero-mode. He was in such a rush to get it over with so he could come back home to you that he didn’t even kiss you goodbye. Not even a simple apology left his lips.

He’d really fucked up, big time.

He didn’t deserve you, nor did he deserve your gift, but he couldn’t help himself as he sat down on the couch and lifted the lid on the box to reveal its contents. There was a note obscuring the gift beneath it, his name sprawled across the paper in your pretty handwriting. He opened it, his eyes scanning over the inky text.

“Keigo,

I wanted to give you something special; to show you how much you mean to me. I know this isn’t enough to do just that. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to truly express to you how much I love you. But I hope you’ll like it anyway. Let it serve as a reminder that however near or far, you’ll always have my heart.

Love, Y/N”

You woke up after hearing the bedroom door click shut, your eyes starting to flutter open. Sleep still clouding your vision, you tried to scan the room, looking after your shoulder to find the room dark and empty. The bedside lamp had been turned off. Looking to Keigo’s side of the bed, you saw the feather necklace resting in his place.

Keigo must be home, you thought.

At first you were excited by this thought, until you remembered that you had just cried yourself to sleep because of him not too long ago. The emotional wound was still bleeding as you tried to pull yourself together enough to face him. You had to at least check to see if he was in one piece after tonight’s events.

Bare feet quietly padding on the heated hardwood floors, you made your way into the living area, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you looked around for any sign of the red-winged birdie.

A sniffle led you right to him. You froze, taking in the scene before you.

Keigo was sat on the couch, hunched forward as he looked at something in his trembling hands. Upon further inspection, you recognized it was the note and the necklace you made for him. Your gift to him.

“Do you like it?” you spoke quietly, though the silence of the room was so thick, it sounded louder than you had intended.

Keigo jumped slightly, turning his head to meet your eyes. How he didn’t hear you coming from a mile away was beyond you. You were never able to successfully sneak up on him. If the room wasn’t filled with so much emotional tension, you’d laugh and tease him about it.

Keigo looked back down at his hands, thumb running over the gold chain, though his eyes remained glued to the note itself. Three words stuck out to him, simultaneously making his heart race and filling him with a deep sadness. You noticed the object of his gaze, stepping closer as you nervously spoke.

“I wanted to tell you in person…Maybe it’s best that I didn’t." You whispered the last part to yourself, but of course, Keigo heard it too.

“What?” He glanced up at you, confused.

“Your crying Kei. You’re upset. You don’t like it, or you don’t share my feelings, or both. What is it?”

Keigo wiped his tears with the back of his hand, looking down in what appeared to be shame.

“It’s nothing like that, Y/N,” he spoke, barely above a whisper.

Your heart dropped. He never called you by your first name unless it was really serious. You began to fear the worst as he continued to speak.

“This is…you said you didn’t spend a lot.”

Oh. Is that why he was upset? More confused than ever, you decided to answer him, hoping he’d give you more information.

“I didn’t. A friend owed me a favor. They helped me make this for you at a low cost. It’s all real, though. The gemstones and everything.”

Keigo was quiet for a moment, looking at the intertwined heart pendants at the end of the necklace. You almost spoke again, just to break the silence, until he beat you to it.

“These are the color of your eyes,” he whispered, a small hint of a smile tugging at his lips that you didn't seem to catch as he lifted up the heart that was meant to represent you, admiring the gemstones embedded around it.

“Kei?”

“Hm?”

“Do you hate it?”

Keigo’s eyes snapped up to yours. Shaking his head aggressively, he reached out to you. The moment you latched onto his hand, he pulled you to sit beside him. Not letting go of your hand, he set the necklace down, along with the rest of the gift before turning to face you better.

“I love it. And I love you, baby bird. So much,” he said, voice wavering slightly as he seemed to become overcome with emotion again. Except this time, you could recognize it mostly as pure love and adoration for you, mixed with a sense of…sadness.

“Really?” you asked, a sense of relief washing over you, despite the overall uneasiness you still felt in the pit of your stomach. You weren’t used to seeing him so emotional. At least, not like this.

He nodded, placing his hands on either side of your face. “So fucking much. You have no idea. All of this…you…it’s everything I’ve always wanted and more.”

You looked at him warily. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

“There’s no ‘but’. But there is a ‘sorry’. I’m so sorry, dove. I’m an asshole and an idiot and a terrible mate. I-”

“You’re none of those things, Kei.” You may have still been hurt by what he did, but you weren’t going to stand for him talking down on himself like that.

“Yes, I am. I stormed out of here so fast after getting that call; a call I never should’ve taken. I left behind the most amazing mate in the world, dressed to the nines, a delicious homemade dinner, and one of the most special gifts in the world. You, being the most special gift of all. I took you and all of this for granted and I'm so sorry.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before meeting your eyes again.

“I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen again. I know my promises don’t mean much after what I did tonight, but I am fully willing to accept the consequences if I fail you again, Y/N."

You didn’t realize you were crying until Keigo gently wiped away a few rogue tears with his thumbs. He was staring at you so intensely, so full of love and determination, devotion, for you. Your heart could barely take it.

“All is forgiven, so long as you stop calling me that,” you finally spoke, semi-lightheartedly, causing his brows to furrow, until he finally understood what you meant.

His signature smirk replaced his serious frown, though his glossy eyes remained soft as he leaned in closer until his lips were inches away from yours.

“What should I call you, then? Baby bird? Dove? Sweetheart? Lovebird?” he teased, knowing that the new nickname would get you all flustered and smiling again. He needed to see that smile again, more than anything. He needed to see his baby bird happy, because of him. No more tears, just smiles.

Thank goodness, it worked. He practically beamed at the sight of it, his feathers perking up and twitching with excitement once more. He couldn’t help himself as he dove in for a kiss, giving you all the passion his tired soul could muster in the moment. You deserved every ounce of love he could possibly give. Now that you seemed to have forgiven him, he was determined to set things right again.

This time, he wouldn’t let you fall and hit the ground. He’d save you, along with your hopes and dreams and promises. While he wasn’t the perfect partner, he would never stop striving to be everything you deserve and more.

His only hope was that you’d continue to allow him to fly you and your heart to even greater heights.

‣ If you enjoyed this fic, please like, comment, and/or reblog! Doing so not only keeps my blog alive, but also lets me know what you like and how to improve!

‣ If you’d like to join the taglist for Keigo Takami/Hawks, or be tagged in all of my future MHA writings, let me know by sending me an ask/message, or comment on this post!

‣ Taglist: @jslittlebirdie @xkatsukizukux

#keigo takami #takami keigo #hawks #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami fanfiction #hawks fanfiction #keigo takami fluff #hawks fluff #keigo takami angst #hawks angst #hawks imagine #keigo takami imagine #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #kalistawrites

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xxbimbobunnyxx · 3 months

Note

I want sub rafey can you give me sub sub Rafe thots 🥺

Sub!Rafe thoughts, you say? I’ve gotchu baby. Happy birthday!!🖤🎀 18+MDNI!

Sub!Rafe who in the beginning of your relationship used to fuck you into the mattress like he had something to prove.

Sub!Rafe who comes to you in tears after an especially bad fight with Ward.

Sub!Rafe who tries to use you to take out his frustrations but you can tell something is off and he starts crying halfway through, dropping his head into the crook of your neck as his tears kiss your hot skin.

Sub!Rafe who finally lets you take control for the first time. He’s in absolute awe when you flip him on his back, lick the tears from his cheeks and ask him “You need me to take care of you this time, Rafey?”

Sub!Rafe who you start to ride slow and gentle as your cup his cheeks but it isn’t what he wants.

Sub!Rafe who in the whiniest tone you’ve ever heard leave his lips asks you “Slap me baby, please.”

Sub!Rafe who feels like he’s going to cum the minute your dainty, manicured hand strikes his cheek the very first time.

Sub!Rafe who after that night started asking you to take control more and more.

Sub!Rafe who loves eating your pussy more than almost anything. He practically begs you to let him lay between your thighs while you yank on his hair and hump his face after a hard day.

Sub!Rafe who ruts into the mattress because you just taste so sweet and your moans are so pretty and more often than not when you tell him he’s “such a good boy” as you gush all over his face it makes him cum in his briefs.

Sub!Rafe who loves your tiddies. He loves when they bounce in his face while you ride him for all it’s worth. It’s not even always sexual for him though. He loves to lay on them while you’re shirtless and feel your soft plush skin against his cheek. He loves sucking on them when he’s stressed, soothing himself by swirling his tongue around your peaked nipples.

Sub!Rafe who when the first time he calls you “mommy” it just slips out. And he’s so embarrassed. “Fuckin’ - forget I said that shit - I never fuckin’ said that.” And you could tell he was starting to get angry. So you grabbed his face gently in your hands and told him “Shh, it’s okay baby, mommy’s got you. Don’t be embarrassed.” And he melted into your touch.

Sub!Rafe who loves getting choked and spit on and degraded.

Sub!Rafe who still tries to act like he wears the pants in the relationship around his friends but all it takes is one look from you to make him crumble.

Sub!Rafe who just loves to spoil his girl. In every way possible. With gifts. With love and affection. With copious amounts of head. Anything you want as far as Rafe is concerned it’s already yours.

Sub!Rafe who still takes control sometimes when it’s what you both need.

Sub!Rafe who is just a sensitive, fragile man under his tough demeanor and needs you to coddle him, love him and be gentle with him because no one else ever has.

Divider is @strangergraphics

#sub!rafe #rafe Cameron #Rafe thoughts #rafe cameron x reader #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron blurb #rafe outer banks #rafe smut #rafe x reader #sub!Rafe Cameron

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planet-dusk · 2 years

Note

today was so tiring i might just cry haha

do you mind if i ask a drabble or whatever you want about overwhelmed!reader being fucked by a skz member?

- 😽

sorry to hear about your day bby, here's a tiny blurb for u <33

🏷️ gn!reader, unprotected sex, somnophilia, mc is called baby

the gentle rocking of his hips leaves you drowsy, the dull pleasure of his cock hitting your most sensitive spots slowly building you up and putting you back together again.

minho’s hands and mouth roam your naked chest. he’s careful and calculated in his movements to make sure your tired brain can keep up. the orgasm he’d pulled from you earlier has soothed your aching body, the tension now replaced by a more pleasurable heaviness.

he would've been content to leave it at this, his fingers and mouth working you up to another peak. but you’d been the one asking for more. begging to feel all of him. so minho had kissed you and sunk his cock inside your wet hole, whispering soft praises into your eager mouth.

“so tired, and still so needy for my cock… don’t worry baby, i’ll take good care of you.”

you’re incapable of producing anything more than soft whimpers, little hums of contentment he drinks off your lips. he feels so good inside of you. familiar and comforting. “more, please, minho,” you beg and he holds you a little tighter until he feels you tense and clench around his cock again.

“i got you,” he murmurs. his slow strokes prolong your pleasure and you let yourself sink into the feeling.

“close your eyes, baby.”

his voice is more distant now, your eyes already fallen shut. “always so good for me. such a spoiled little thing, letting me fuck you to sleep.” you vaguely register his soft giggle as he nips at your collarbone.

minho fucks you like this for a while longer and watches you drift off under his expert touch. the trust you have in him makes his heart jump and his cock twitch. sleep’s already pulled you under when he jerks himself to completion over your resting figure, splatters of his cum decorating your stomach. he cleans you up before pulling you into his arms, nuzzling his face into your neck until his breathing slows down and harmonizes with the steady rise and fall of your chest.

#answered #😽 anon #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids hard hours #skz hard hours #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids headcanons #skz headcanons #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #lee know x reader #lee know smut #;skz blurbs

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lovexjoe · 2 months

Text

In Love With A Stripper Part 3

warning: drugs, violence, language

The hurt and confusion that took over her. Why is this necklace here!? Why! She felt so fucking stupid, the fact that she was actually starting to feel something again. She closes the duffel bag and throws it aside. She was not even going to touch that money. She doesn’t need his help. She doesn’t need him. He is dead to her. She only knew him for a fucking DAY! Be fucking real with yourself Xiomara.

The weekend went by rather quickly. She spent some of the money on Ricky to take him out and buy him some new toys. Spoiling her kid doesn’t count if he deserves every last bit of it. He’s been playing with the same toys that she was gifted from her baby shower which wasn’t much. Now those old toys are in a bag to be given to a shelter along with a couple new ones she purchased.

The money was convenient as much as she didn’t want to use it, she really needed it. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time as she gets herself ready for her day job. Andres mom: Grace was already at her doorstep, ready to watch Ricky when her smile immediately fades away when she sees the necklace.

“Mi amor donde encontraste esto?!” (My love, where did you find this?) She looks at the necklace then up at her.

“I-I found it in some of his old things” she tried her best to sound convincing.

“Xiomara…por favor ten cuidado.” (Please be careful) She cups her face with tears brimming her eyes. Xiomara has become a daughter to her, she may not express it much but it would break her heart if she lost her to her son’s wrong doings. She simply nods her head, holding back her own tears.

She kisses Ricky goodbye and they did their handshake. Two slaps on the back of the hand then a fist bump. She gave Grace a big hug and let her know that everything will be okay. The weather was a bit breezy today so the walk to the school wasn’t as brutal as it normally was. She drops the box of toys off to the shelter on the way; the front desk lady thanking her as the kids there really did not have anything. Making a note to herself to bring some more when she could.

As she got closer to the school, she felt like someone was watching her. She starts to hurry her steps, her heart started to beat quickly. Was it the necklace? Before she could even react, someone grabs her into the alley way, covering her mouth. The familiar scent causing her not to scream, but she couldn’t help the tears that were falling.

“Why are you crying? Miss me that much?” He wipes her tears but Xiomara pushes him away.

“Stay away from me!” She tries to walk away but he pulls her back, pushing her against the alleyway wall. Xiomara wanted nothing more than to feel his lips but she couldn’t process the betrayal.

“Talk to me…what’s wrong?” This wasn’t what he wanted. He’d do anything to turn everything back the way it was. Her pouty face still looked so fucking beautiful. She was on his mind this entire weekend. Her scent still in his sheets. God he wanted more than anything to make her his that night, but he refused to rush it. She pulls out the cross necklace and he froze.

“Why the fuck was this inside the duffle bag?! Did you kill him?!” He looked hurt that she would just assume he killed him. Is he that much of a monster to her? How could he even explain that this pains him just as much as it pains her? He didn’t realize she was the girl Andres talked about until last night. He hasn’t gotten over his death. He watched it happen.

“No, I didn’t kill him….just let me explain later. I promise to tell you everything.” She looks at him not knowing to agree or not. He could be lying. What if he kills her to hide his tracks? The look in his eyes says otherwise.

“No….just just leave me alone. I don’t ever want to see you again!” She storms off and he lets her because regardless of how she wants it to go they were going to talk.

Xiomara didn’t give a fuck what he had to say. There was nothing that could change the outcome. She may have questions but her gut already gave her the answers. Armando knew he was gonna get her to talk to him, so whatever she had to say right now didn’t matter. Xiomara went about her day, staying at the school past sundown because she needed to catch up on grading the kids papers. Who knew 1st grade had so much work? She gave Grace a call and let her know that there’s money in an envelope for her and that she’ll probably be out the rest of the night. The walk from here to the strip club isn’t horrendous plus she had clothes in her locker to change into. Throughout the day her mind kept flicking back and forth about whether she was being too stubborn about listening to Armando. Shaking her head, she pushes the thought away and starts to put her papers away. He’s not a good person no matter how sweet he was. The school was quite eerie with no kids and the darkness that engulfed the night. All she could hear was her steps and breathing.

She started to feel uneasy, as if she was being watched again. She clung onto the cross necklace hoping his presence was still here to protect her. As she left the school grounds and kept walking the roads were more empty than usual. Her anxiety started to kick in. A black car pulls up next to her , she pauses for a moment than proceeds to run. Not knowing if she could take anymore, her steps start to slow down but another black car pulls in front of her. Men filed out in black mask, she can’t even fight anymore.

She was grabbed against her will and her mouth was covered with a white cloth that was submerged in a substance. Her body instant gave out and her vision went black. Hearing a few mumbles before she was out cold. Her mind was in and out of sleep. She was placed in someone’s arms. The scent giving her comfort so she held it close, snuggling her head into whatever it was.

“It’ll wear off in 15 mins. She’s not hurt but goddamn she’s a runner.” A deep voice spoke to receive a chuckle.

“Yeah…that’s my girl.” Xio felt something soft touch her forehead and she was out again trying her hardest to wake but sleep over took her body.

She woke up with a horrendous headache, groaning as she opens her eyes taking in the scenery. She was in a decent sized warehouse that clearly someone was living out of. She forces herself to get up, but is unable to. The drugs clearly still in her system. She looks around and notices the little picture frames of Polaroids around and she realizes this was Armando because the background was a prison.

She couldn’t imagine what his childhood was like or how he even recovers.

“Good morning mami.” He teases coming into her view with a pill and water. She got fanny flutters from the way he said mami even though she was livid.

“Kidnapping me cause I don’t want to speak to you is actually insane! You do know I have to work tonight ?!” Armando rolls his eyes at the thought of her on a pole again. It wasn’t happening.

“You’re not stepping foot in that club again Xio.” He says sternly then motions for her to take the pill and water.

“I just got drugged and you want to take a pill?! Go fuck yourself!” He just stands there with his jaw clenched waiting for her to take the pill. In reality he can stand there all night he was just as stubborn as she was.

“If you try any funny shit I will shove my heel into your neck.” She snatches the pill and water. He bites his lip trying to contain a laugh. He knew this wasn’t a laughing matter but she’s making it hard by putting on this tough front. The warehouse was his hideout away from home. It was decorated with a bed and a couch and random art pieces that he found along the way.

“Xio….just hear me out fully okay? Andres was working with me before you guys left the states and came here. He was a close friend of mine, w-we were basically brothers. Never asked each other too much information, we knew the basics and that’s it. Andres was undercover the entire time….” He pauses knowing the rest of the story is going to break his heart all over again.

“They found out that he was undercover, I tried to save him Xio I really tried” He starts to tear up.

“They made me watch them kill him….” The flashbacks coming back to him as he watched one of the cartels put a bullet through his head. Xiomara couldn’t believe what she heard and felt a bit guilty for thinking he did it. Armando at any point could have done it himself but even with Andres being undercover he wanted to save him.

“I-I’m sorry Xio. I kept the necklace cause it’s all I had left of his.” He wipes his eyes, sniffing as he allowed himself to cry enough. Andres is already gone there is nothing else they can do. He held her close and they both stayed like this for a few just comforting each other. She realizes she had to get going. She pulls back from him as she goes to grab her purse. He pulls her in close, wanting nothing more than to feel their lips touch. She can’t explain it, but he lights a fire inside her she didn’t know existed.

“Armando I have to go to work-“

“Shhh you’re not working there anymore. Whatever you want or need I will provide for you” His lips starts to kiss on her jawline and she felt so weak.

“P-please I need you….Armando I want you!” Xiomara begs as he starts to suck on her neck. That’s all he needed to hear because now he wasn’t gonna hold back.

TAGLIST:

@yeahnohoneybye @cardi-bre91 @onlysarang @romanreignsluver1 @minwn

@armandosbabymama @dyttomori @bbyplutosblog @vergilnelosparda @believeinthefireflies95 @cardi-bre91

#jacob scipio #armando aretas #bad boys #bad boys ride or die #armando aretas x reader #armando aretas concept

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jasminumdew · 1 month

Text

Chained

Yandere!Rafayel x Fem!Reader

Tags: obsessive Rafayel, kidnapped, Rafayel being very delusional, I think that's all

Wc: 690

He’s been noticing every move of you very closely recently. It’s like an alarm goes off inside his head whenever you check your phone and stifle your giggle while walking with him down the alley, or when you stop dead on your track seeing a crow, or staying at the hospital way too late for a normal patient. All of these odd behaviors must have their sources, so he looked through your social media, following you around at a mindful distance, blending in the crowd, just to find out what you’re up to.

You can’t blame him for acting like a creep, in his point of view, it’s just to make sure you’re safe and not do anything stupid, and by “stupid”, it is when you, so innocently and mindlessly chatting and flirting with other boys in the Destiny Cafe without remembering that you belong to him, your one and true love. Oh? You got yourself three boys on your roster? He wouldn’t even consider him being one of them, cause he must be taking up more space in your heart and your mind. At least that’s what he wanted to believe. You’re such a naughty girl, hanging out with other boys, knowing full well you only need him to take care of you.

But now…Weren’t those dates you shared together not matter to you? The constant texts and calls that once warmed his cold and lifeless heart now seem so meaningless, stupid, and naive. Did he too spoil you so that you think you can get away with anything? You don’t deserve nice gestures, you know that, right? Bad girls like you need punishments. There won’t be any silly dates where you dance together in the pouring rain, play claw machine, or ride tandem bicycle together anymore.

After all 800 years of waiting tirelessly, he never thought there would ever be the time you two get to meet again. But somehow, the stars all aligned, he gets to hold you in his arms again in this life. This has to be the sign that the universe sent directly to him, to keep you to himself forever and never let you leave again. So, he had to take matters into his own hands now that you’re misbehaving and refusing to belong to him alone.

You will stay down here in his basement from now on, waiting for him every day to feed you, to shower you, to give you some sleeping pills, poor girl, it must be hard to get familiar with this new life. Don’t worry, he’s prepared everything for you already, maybe after he found out about your unusual behavior, or maybe even before that a little bit, or perhaps right after he met you again after 800 years, who knows? But the important thing is, you will be safe there, under his supervision, and never get to leave his side ever again. You can scream and cry and beg for help however you please, there’s no one living in this part of the Whitesand Bay beside him. Oh, you don’t need to worry about others trying to find you. He’s already faked your death with a gas explosion in your house, deleting every evidence of his existence in your life, but guess what? He brought your favorite stuffies for you, isn’t that so considerate?

A little advice here, you might not even see the brightness of sunlight or the moisture from the morning dew ever again if you keep acting up darling. If you try to be nice for once, get rid of that hatred in your eyes and ask him nicely with that sweet sweet voice of yours, promising that you’ll be a good girl and never try to escape from him anymore, and yes, you will carry his children, then he might change his mind and let you stay in his bedroom, he’s always been a softie, you know it. But you would still be chained to his bedframe, of course, considering how you’ve left him so many times before. He cannot lose you again, his muse, his children’s mother, his beloved bride.

#lnds rafayel #rafayel x reader #love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #lads rafayel #lnds #l&ds x reader

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leviathans-body-pillow · 1 year

Text

“But what about my kitten!?”

The new exchanged student asked looking anxiously at Lucifer.

“As I said we have made arrangements for all your human world responsibilities.” He answered, not quite sure what part of they made arrangements you didn’t understand.

“No you don’t understand! They’re only a few weeks old! I’m like their parent and litter in one, we can’t be apart right now!” You try to plead your case. If you have to spend a year in hell fine whatever but you refuse to do it without your kitten.

“I’m afraid we’re not able to accommodate a cat, surly it will be fine in foster care until you return.” Lucifer didn’t like the way you looked at him, it was just a cat. It’s not like they asked you to leave behind your human child.

“But they’ve already been abandoned once,” you start to choke up. “They’re gonna think I abandoned them too.” Now you’re crying. The human exchange student has been in Devildom for less than five minutes and they’re already crying.

Diavolo speaks up, “surely there’s room at the house of lamentation for one little kitten.” He doesn’t wait to Lucifer to object before he continues. “We’ll make the arrangements for you kitten to be brought with the rest of your personal items.”

“Promise,” you ask between sniffs, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“You have my word as prince.” He assured you.

*************************************************

How the brothers react

Lucifer

He’s not pleased. It’s not that he has anything against cats. He’s just not mentally prepared for the chaos having one in the house will cause. Surely his brothers will find a way to make it his problem. He’s not sure how yet but he’s got a bad feeling. He’s not quite sure what it takes to care for such a young kitten. Truly he’s impressed by how responsible and nurturing you are for it. Although he is worried about it getting in the way of your lessons. Or his brothers getting in the way constantly bothering you to spend time with your cat.

Mammon

Our first cat person. He already spends a lot of time hanging around you being your first and all. But now he has even more reason to spend time in your room. He loves playing with them so you can study. May buy too many cat toys for them. Will definitely act like you two are a couple and your kitten is your child. If you ever argue or try to kick him out of your room he’ll pick them up and say shit like “but think of our baby” in the end he spoils them and become just as attached to your cat as he is too you

Leviathan

What shut in anime nerd doesn’t like cats? You kitten definitely helps Levi warm up to you. It’s not that he wants to spend time with a normie like you but he does want to see you kitten. He actually becomes essential in taking care of them when you first arrive. Kittens that small can’t be left alone all day. Thankfully Levi takes a lot of classes online and is able to watch them throughout the day. He still keeps them in your room, he can’t have them trying to jump on his shelves and knock down his precious collection.

Satan

He could barely contain his excitement at how it worked out. If Diavolo hadn’t spoken for Lucifer he would have. Even if it took a legendary tantrum, he was not going to pass up on the opportunity to have an little kitten living at hol. This leads to you and Satan becoming close very quickly. He’s pretty much always in your room. At first just for your kitten but this eventually lead to him wanting to be with you as well. It gets to the point Lucifer has to come pull him away so he’s not getting in the way of your studies.

Asmodeus

Asmo’s not really a cat person. But he can’t deny that your little kitten is adorable! He snaps hundred of photos snd videos of them of his devilgram story. Will try to steal them away to use as a prop. You have day by day documentation of them growing from how often Asmo photographs them. Unlike his older brothers he doesn’t stick around very long, getting bored of your kitten as soon as their attention wonders away from him. But his visits are still fairly frequent.

Beelzebub

He tries to eat them. They’re just so tiny and bite sized. At least he didn’t want to eat your kitten anymore than he wanted to eat you at first. Even after he gets over his initial hunger he’s not any quicker to warm up to you. He’s just not a cat person so he doesn’t go out of his way to hang around.

Belphegor

After the whole incident, he’s disappointed he missed out of seeing the kitten when it first arrived. By the time he’s free your kitten is already a few months old and very energetic. He’s not a huge fan of them when they’re running around bouncing off the walls. But he does adore when they finally burn out and want to cuddle. Loves taking little cat naps with them but isn’t too thrilled when they jump on him or swat at him in his sleep.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #om swd #obey me headcanons #obey me writing #om asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me swd #obey me luficer #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub

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from-the-clouds · 2 years

Text

texas sun - joel miller x f! reader - vol. v

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | photo cred

chapter summary: You knew yourself, and the way that you could get hung up on the right kind of person. Joel was that kind of person. But you don’t like how formal this feels. So real. -- In other words, Joel takes you on your first date. pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader words: 8.6k chapter warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY (it's happening, folks!) - unprotected sex, please dm if you want specifics but I’m not trying to spoil too much. If you don't want to read the smut, it doesn't happen until about halfway through the chapter. Crying after sex. Angst. FLUFF. Mentions of anxiety & self-doubt, alcohol consumption. a/n: Help! I can’t stop writing fit checks into this story!! This ended up being insanely horny but also shockingly sweet. I worked way way way too hard on it so please say nice things to me. Might need to take a couple days off because I'm really feeling burnt out. So please enjoy in the meantime.

-May 16, 2003-

Joel doesn’t like lying to Sarah.

Although, he’s not sure that he’s lying to her as much as he is simply….omitting information. Depending on who you ask, that could still be considered lying.

He’s fresh out of the shower when he steps into the living room, fishes through the catch-all basket located just inside the front door, and pockets his wallet and keys.

“Where are you going?”

Sarah’s lounging on the couch, on her back, one of her hands slung behind her head. There’s a book opened on her lap, but she’s not reading. “You’re all dressed up.”

Joel looks down at his green flannel shirt, tucked into a pair of dark jeans. Truth be told, he’s a little ashamed he doesn’t have anything nicer in his closet. It’s not like he ever has any occasion to dress up, but he’s already feeling self-conscious and being (most likely) underdressed isn’t helping. Based on the very limited information he knows about your past relationships, you’re probably accustomed to crisp dress shirts, ties, blazers. He doesn’t own any of those things — he did, at one point, have the tux from his wedding, but he’d gotten rid of it after the divorce. Every time he saw it in the back of his closet, it made him sick. Regardless, tonight he’d done the best he could otherwise - showered, trimmed his beard, and even dug through his medicine cabinet for an old – probably expired – bottle of cologne. Hopefully it was enough.

“I’ve uh….I’ve got a date.” Joel says.

The theme song from That’s So Raven is blaring through the living room, but it immediately cuts out as Sarah presses mute and sits up entirely from her spot on the couch. “Really?”

“Don’t act so surprised,” Joel says. “Your uncle is coming over, though, he’s gonna drop me off and then he said he’d take you to the movies.”

As if on cue, he hears Tommy’s truck pull into the drive. “Yes!” Sarah leaps up from the couch. “I have to change first.”

“Hurry up, babygirl, I’m already runnin’ behind,” Joel calls after her.

Tommy knocks twice on the front door before letting himself in anyways.

“You’re late,” Joel informs, shutting the door behind him. They should’ve left five minutes ago, and the last thing Joel wants is for you to think he’s not punctual. To be fair, he’s not, and almost never is. But you don’t need to know that….yet.

“Hello to you, too,” Tommy trails after him into the kitchen. Joel is tempted to chug a beer, or fish the half-empty bottle of whiskey he’s got in the cabinet out to take a shot — just to take the edge off. But he refrains. It wouldn’t be a good look to show up smelling of booze.

“So…who's the lucky lady?” When Joel doesn’t answer right away, Tommy presses. “Come on, Joel, who is it?”

He contemplates telling his brother the truth, but he doesn’t want to give him the idea that he had taken his advice. He didn’t. Well maybe he did, but he knows Tommy will become insufferable if he finds out.

“Is it who I think it is?” Tommy asks. “It better be.”

Unfortunately, Tommy knows him too well. They’re brothers, and really, Joel’s first and oldest friend. The answer is written all over his face.

Tommy grins. “Fucking finally. Oh my god, dude, I thought you’d never-”

“Alright, alright!” Joel interjects, eyes darting nervously up the stairs, where he hears his daughter shuffling around in her bathroom. “Keep your mouth shut, I haven’t told Sarah yet.”

Tommy raises his hands in defense, but at least seems to understand how serious Joel is. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say anything. Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” Joel looks down at the countertop, and is compelled to be honest with his little brother. “I’m uh….I’m a little nervous, though. Been awhile since I’ve done anything like this.”

Tommy grows serious. “Do you want my advice?”

“Yours?” Joel feels like whatever advice he has to offer is likely questionable, particularly with someone like you. “No thanks. I’d rather make a good impression.”

His brother ignores the subtle dig. “You sure? Because unlike you, I actually go on dates. I mean, it’s been what, like….ten years?” He crosses his arms, pretends to think. It’s probably only been a couple of months since the last time Joel took someone out, and Tommy knows it, but he loves to dramatize. “I mean at this stage, you’re basically a born-again virgin. Do you even remember how to put on a condom?”

Joel crosses his arms and glares at his brother, who begins giggling at his bad joke. “I knew I shouldn’t have fucking said anything to you,” he shakes his head.

“Oh come on Joel, you’ll be fine,” Tommy says. “Really. She’s into you. I could tell when we were all together the other night. Even when I was dancing with her, I kept catching her lookin’ your way…”

“Yeah, well….” Joel rubs the back of his neck to play off the surge of warmth he gets from this information. “Thanks.”

Sarah’s bathroom door opens, and he hears the staccato beat of her sneakers coming down the stairs. Joel points at Tommy one last time. “Not a word, understand?”

Tommy nods just as she rounds the corner.

“Uncle Tommy!” Sarah raises her hand to give him a high-five, which they both purposely miss so they can collide palms on the downswing, grab each other’s hands and then begin a secret handshake so complex that Joel, who has seen it a thousand times, still doesn’t think he could execute correctly if he tried.

“How’s my favorite niece?”

“I’m your only niece.”

“Touche,” they shoot at each other with finger guns before she wraps him in a hug and Tommy presses his nose to the top of her head. Despite the fact that their little routine is costing Joel precious time, almost all the annoyance he’d been feeling with his brother dissipates at the sight.

“We all ready?” Tommy asks her, then points at him. “Don’t want to make this casanova late.”

“Yeah, of course not,” Sarah looks over at Joel with a smile that doesn’t seem entirely sincere. When she was younger and he’d gone on dates, she always had a lot more questions. Who is it? What is she like? When can I meet her? Is she pretty? Over the years, however, she became less and less interested. It was because she was smart, and had caught onto the pattern - he’d go on a date, maybe one or two more, then there’d be a long period of nothing before the cycle repeated itself every couple months. It rarely developed into anything that would concern her, and Joel always kept the details to himself.

While they’re en route to the restaurant – a little French bistro that had opened up recently — Sarah and Tommy bicker about what movie they want to see.

“I wanna see Holes. I just read the book.”

Tommy grimaces. “What about Matrix Reloaded? It just came out.”

“I already told dad I’d go to that with him.”

“So?” he looks between Sarah and Joel. “Why can’t you just see it twice?”

“No,” Sarah says emphatically. “I have to see it with dad first. It’s not fair.”

Tommy groans, mutters under his breath. “I can’t believe you let her watch that crap,” as if he wasn’t about to do the same thing.

“She likes it,” Joel shrugs.

“All the more reason to see it tonight.”

“Tommy,” Joel warns.

“Fine.”

“I don’t really like it, though. I just like to keep dad company so he doesn’t have to see it alone.”

“You’re too nice,” Tommy takes a beat. “Are you sure you aren’t adopted?”

“Shut up,” Joel and Sarah answer at the same time, and Joel holds his palm behind him for his daughter to slap.

Tommy acquiesces, his truck jolting as it pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant. Joel’s heart rate picks up immediately. The car rolls to a stop and Joel turns to look at both of them. “Alright, I’ll be home by midnight.”

“Sounds good,” says Sarah.

“Have fun,” Tommy raises his eyebrows, winks, and thankfully Sarah doesn’t see it, because she’s getting out of the truck to take Joel’s spot shotgun. He makes sure she’s settled with her seatbelt on before he shuts the door.

He isn’t trying to waste time, but Joel watches them pull out of the lot and back onto the street before he goes inside the restaurant. Really, he just needs a minute to collect himself. There’s no good reason for him to be as anxious as he is, he’s already kissed you once, and you had seemed to like it — quite a lot too. For the past week the feeling of your body pressed up against him, legs around his torso, was pretty much all he thought about when his mind wandered. Mostly at night before bed, and even today, in the shower when he was getting ready - just to try and calm down. Even now, the idea leaves him flustered.

Nevertheless, this probably isn’t even technically a first date. He hasn’t had issues speaking to you in the past, so this should be easy. Right? But what if you change your mind? And what if it dawns on you that he’s not your type? Even worse, what if you realize he’s just not good enough?

Joel forces himself inside before he talks himself out of this. When he enters, he sees you first. You’re across the room, leaning over the small bar where a few other patrons are. Greedily, he takes you in, and it’s easy to trace your figure in the tight black shift dress you’ve got on, sheer black tights underneath. It’s sleek, stylish - not that Joel knows much about that. As usual, you stand out in stark contrast to every other person in the place. He likes it. But he feels underdressed. He’ll look ridiculous standing next to you, and he briefly considers turning around, leaving, and saving himself the embarrassment.

That’s until you move, angling yourself towards him and scanning the restaurant, an elbow resting on the bar, a hand on your knee. You’re looking for him, waiting for him, and finally, you’re rewarded when your eyes catch. Suddenly, Joel doesn’t care about what he’s wearing. He doesn't care that he’s not good enough. At the very least, he doesn’t have to guess if you’re interested in him anymore, not with how you’re gazing at him — a soft smile and narrowed eyes that betray your enthusiasm. Sure, he's not good enough, but he decides if he’s going to go down in flames, he’ll do it trying to convince you otherwise.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Maybe I should’ve eaten a proper lunch, you think to yourself. You’ve barely touched the drink in your hand, but you’re already starting to feel it. And even though you are the designated driver tonight, for now, the slight buzz is welcome, working to soothe.

Over the years, you’d been on your fair share of first dates. Unlike most…you don’t hate them. For whatever reason, getting to know new people had always come easy, particularly if they were the right person. Being a lawyer, you had a knack for talking yourself into or out of almost anything. So it was just as easy to let someone know if they weren’t the right person. The best part of first dates, however, was that they lacked all the things you hated — promises, expectations, and conversations that went deeper than general pleasantries.

So all things considered, you shouldn’t feel as tense as you do right now.

There’s a few factors that might have something to do with it, and your brain turns them over, biding your time until your date arrives.

First is the text that sits opened on your BlackBerry.

Dad’s home from the hospital. Doing better. Call when you can. - Vince

Your father has been in and out of the hospital for the last month or so, his health rapidly declining. But every update from your brother, however innocent they may be, feels like veiled threats. You should be here. You should know this. I shouldn't have to text you about it. I can’t believe I’m the only one looking after him. A part of you wants to believe that Vincent wouldn’t play that sort of game with you, but as you’ve gotten older and grown apart, you’d gotten worse at deciphering his motivations. Vaguely, you acknowledge that you could just be projecting, and you are the only one trying to make you feel bad.

And then there’s Joel.

He’s running late, you hope, or he’s stood you up. And you have already promised yourself that you’re only gonna wait ten more minutes before heading home with your tail tucked between your legs. The thought of that makes you regret agreeing to this in the first place. You’d already embarrassed yourself the last time you were together, practically begging him to take you on the kitchen countertop, but he’d insisted on doing this right. You should’ve pushed harder because you’re starting to think that maybe, just maybe….a zipless fuck would’ve sufficed. Oh, who were you kidding? You knew yourself, and the way that you could get hung up on the right kind of person. Joel was that kind of person. But you don’t like how formal this feels. So real.

He knows you better than most first dates do. You’ve told him more about your family, about your fucked up childhood, about your aversion to committed relationships more than any friend you’ve made since moving to Texas. And he listened. It should make you feel better. He knows what he’s getting himself into, and he asked you here anyways. Maybe he’s having second thoughts.

For what feels like the thousandth time, you check your emails and take a sip of your dirty martini – your preferred vehicle for alcohol consumption. Ultimately, you like the idea of a martini more than the actual taste, but you appreciate how direct they are. You scan the restaurant one last time, doing your best to look casual, like you don’t really care. Like you’re supposed to be there alone.

But when your head turns towards the entrance, Joel is standing across from you.

He gives you a bashful smile, one that makes your stomach flip, and makes his way over – though he doesn’t seem to be in a rush. It’s like he knows you’d sit and wait for him for as long as it takes – you would, you will, you are.

When he finally lands in front of you, one thumb hooked in the belt loop of his dark-wash jeans, he leans forward and presses his lips to your cheek for the briefest moment, and pulls back, looking you up and down.

“It’s good to see you, darlin’,” he murmurs softly. The term of endearment makes your ears feel hot. You're shocked at the effect he has on you, almost can’t believe it. It scares you, too, but you want to chase the feeling. “You look great.”

“So do you,” because you’re not one to lie. He does. As good as always, but he might’ve trimmed his beard for the occasion and maybe….put on cologne? It’s hard to tell, and in your brief experience being so close to him, he’s always smelled good regardless.

“Sorry I’m late,” he apologizes. “Can’t count on Tommy to get me anywhere on time.”

“It’s alright,” you say casually, like you hadn’t had your whole exit strategy planned out just minutes ago. “I got to have a drink while I wait. You want something?” you gesture towards the bartender.

“Sure,” Joel answers. “How about an old fashioned?” There’s no room for him to sit, so he leans next to you, arm on the bartop, invading your personal space while you wait for your table. Your skin buzzes like you’ve never been this close to a man before in your life. Pathetic.

He orders his drink before he speaks to you again. “Have you been here before?” he asks.

You shake your head no. “I was planning on coming a couple months ago but….never got around to it.”

“It’s good,” he says. “I’ve been a couple times.”

“Is this where you take all the girls you go out with?” you raise an eyebrow, grateful that your voice sounds even despite the way your blood is fizzing, your heart pumping so fast you can feel it in your ears.

Joel shakes his head no. “That’s down the street.”

“Oh?” you nod, sip your drink. Whatever buzz you’d been feeling is gone in the wake of adrenaline. “So….why didn’t you take me there, then?”

“It’s not as nice,” Joel smirks, leaning in a little closer – if it were possible. His lips are practically touching your ear, and his voice is raspy for what comes next. “And I’m trying to impress you.”

“Right,” you can’t help but smile, pulling back so you can lock eyes. He’s so sincere you can’t even think up a clever quip in return. “How thoughtful.”

He gives you a cheeky grin. You want to touch him, want to hold him, want to fist the front of his shirt or tug on the hair at the back of his neck and stick your tongue down his throat like you aren’t surrounded by an entire restaurant of patrons.

It’s going to be the longest fucking dinner of your life.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You survive.

But at a cost.

And you don’t learn anything new about Joel, except for the fact that your memory hasn’t exaggerated how charming he is, how charismatic, how thoughtful. All the times you’d allowed yourself to daydream about him didn’t hold a candle. Enjoying the meal is difficult, because you just want to get him alone. He can sense it – you’re pretty sure, because he orders himself a coffee after dessert, and sips on it ever-so-slowly, smirking at you over the rim of the mug.

When dinner’s over, you offer to drive Joel home, since he’d gotten a ride here. By this point, the martini is long gone from your system and you sort of want to pour yourself another when you get home. Even if you don’t drink much, the nerves have resurfaced.

He walks a few paces behind you as you leave the restaurant, taking his time, and you step to your side of the car, making to unlock it – until something grabs your bicep – briskly – and spins you around.

It’s Joel. He snuck up behind you, you hadn’t heard, and he’s right in front of you now, pinning you between the car and his body, surrounding you entirely. He lifts a hand, cups your cheek, and kisses you. It happens so fast you let out a whimper of surprise – directly into his mouth, but he swallows it down, and cradles you so gently, but still firm. Resolute. I’m not letting you go.

When he pulls back, you notice his cheeks are flushed, ever so slightly. It makes you wonder what you could do to see them get even redder. Your arms have found their way to rest on his shoulders, and you’re boxed in, the handle to your car door digging into your ass. Without a word, just a cheeky grin, he retreats to the passenger's side of the car and gets inside.

You settle in the driver's seat beside him, and he looks over at you. “Hope that was okay, I couldn’t wait…” he says, almost apologetically. “But I was tryin’ all night to be good.”

“Yeah, well….not much use in that anymore,” you tilt your head. “Do you want to….hang out at my place?”

“Yeah, we can ‘hang out’ at your place,” Joel quips.

Scoffing in mock offense, you offer a retort. “What would you rather me have said? Come over for a nightcap? That’s a little cliche.”

He grimaces, as if he’s in agreement. You continue. “Or would you rather I be more direct? Joel, why don’t you come over so we can have sex?”

That makes him laugh, loudly, and it’s such a warm, comforting sound, you wish you could find a way to capture it and hear it over and over again. “Oh, is that what’s going to happen?” he asks.

“Guess we’ll find out,” You shrug, trying to play it off, in case you overstepped. Then you focus on putting the keys in the ignition without fumbling.

It’s not a long drive back to your place, but Joel seems determined to make sure it feels like it is. Either that, or he’s trying to get you to cause an accident. First his hand is resting on the back of your neck, brushing through the hair at the base of your skull. Then it’s on your shoulder, his thumb pressing into your taut muscles. You actually have to bite your tongue so you don’t moan. It’s not even sexual, really, but it just feels good to be touched, especially by him.

Eventually, you hit a stoplight, and while you’re waiting, his hand continues to wander…and comes to rest just above your knee. His hands are fucking huge, first of all, which maybe you’ve noticed before, and there are a few scars and scratches on the backs of his knuckles. It's the weight of it, the warmth of it, the way he’s settled it so casually like it’s nothing – like it belongs there, and he doesn’t even have to ask. Of course he doesn’t. And the confidence, the cockiness. It feels like someone’s taken an arrow to the pit of your stomach, and something thick and hot starts curling down, down, down….

You swallow hard, and he’s looking at you. He doesn’t speak right away, just stares, something dark and unfamiliar in his eyes.

“I hope I’m doing alright,” voice raspy, low, but still smooth as ever.

Shaking your head, you’re able to surface just enough over the haze of arousal. “You want a performance review?” you tease, giving a small smile. “We should hold off on that until later…”

That makes Joel laugh again, your stomach flips, and his thumb begins to stroke your kneecap, his fingers kneading into the soft flesh, inching forward to clasp farther inward, nearly grabbing at you, squeezing. The only thing separating his skin from your own is a thin pair of stockings that end dangerously close to where his hand is working. If he finds out that he’s just a few centimeters away from meeting bare skin, you’re afraid of what could happen.

“Joel,” you warn.

“What?” he asks, voice light and innocent.

“You’re distracting me.”

“You want me to stop?”

No. The light turns green, and you have to hold back the impulse to break every traffic law if it means you’ll get to have him just a second sooner.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“--my room is–” Joel cuts you off with another searing kiss, and it takes a second before you can conjure the self control to pull away again to finish the thought. “--down the hall.”

“Yeah?”

He’s got you crowded back against the entry closet of your house, hovering over you, one of his hands bracing itself beside your head, and the other slowly dragging down your body, his lips following….moving down your neck.

“Uh-huh,” you barely can get it out between strangled gasps for air.

And then he’s hooking his hands behind your knees. “Are you sure you don’t want, like-” Joel lifts you, and you lock your legs around his torso. “An amaretto or something?”

“No,” he’s gripping on to you so tightly it hurts, but you don’t mind.

“I could put on….a record-”

“No,” he repeats, and you’re being carried down the hall.

You hadn’t expected him to pounce on you the instant that you came in through the garage door. Not that you minded. It’s just that usually you’d play it a bit more coy. You’d set the mood, light a candle, have a chat. But, you suppose you don’t need to do anything to get you in the mood. You’re already there.

Joel’s mouth never separates from you, not until you’re in your room. He’s so sure of himself, you think he might be the type to throw you into the mattress, climb on top of you and rip at the zipper on the back of your dress. But he doesn’t. You’re laid down delicately, like you’re made of glass, and he’s being careful not to break you.

He weaves his thumb and forefinger around both your wrists, then pulls them up so they’re pinned above your head. This way, you’re completely at his mercy. When he lowers himself between your legs, and you feel the weight of his body pressed against you, you groan, fighting against the restraint, desperate to touch him. So you do the best you can and wrap your stocking-clad feet around his waist, trying to get some leverage, to bring him closer.

“Just wanna take my time with you, darlin’,” he murmurs softly, like he can read your mind. You’re starting to think he can – how else can he be so irresistible on his own accord?

Joel makes good on his promise. With you all docile beneath him, he takes the opportunity to kiss every inch of exposed skin available – even though you’re still fully clothed. Each press of his lips has you breathing unevenly – sighing, then gasping, then sharp, short inhales. When he finds a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, you can’t help but giggle and quirm.

Joel huffs in response, releasing you from his hold, and he tilts his head to whisper in your ear. “Do you have any idea how much I like hearing that? Knowing it’s because of me?” Immediately, you lower your hands to cup his cheeks, to regard him. He can’t be serious.

“You’re too sweet,” you mutter.

“So are you,” he answers, and ducks his head to return to your neck. “So sweet, and so fucking pretty, too…” His hands begin wandering, one of them cupping your breast, thumb finding a peaked nipple even through the fabric of your dress and your bra. The words he’s saying are too much, you’ll do anything to make him shut up, arching your back so you can feel him – already hard – against your clothed core.

“Joel-”

“God, I want to see you-fuck!” he pulls back, rolls you over, and you shift your weight so he has access to the dress’ zipper at your side. He makes quick work of it, and brings you to a seated position, helping you remove it all the way before kissing you again, then abruptly stopping. He wants you so badly….but he’s trying to savor the moment. “Let me look at you for a second.”

He takes you in, the stockings you’re wearing and the matching set of black lace you’d picked out beforehand. Of course, you’d thought about this. You always did for occasions like this, but Joel had stumped you. What would he like? This….was pretty understated, but he seemed like a salt-of-the earth guy. Not what you were used to. It probably wouldn’t make a difference whether or not you were in full-on lingerie. And even if you knew he wouldn’t care, you still had wanted to impress him. All the more reason to try.

“This for me?” he asks, hooking his finger on the inside of your stockings and snapping the elastic.

“Yeah,” you nod, honest. “I want you, Joel.” And there’s more to it, too. You’ve thought about just how badly for months. It kept you up at night, then helped you fall asleep when you couldn’t shake his image from your head. For now, you are going to keep that to yourself. But it doesn’t mean it’s not gonna slip out. Not when he’s looking at you like this.

“Yeah?” he says, steps forward, towers over you. “I want you, too, so fuckin’ bad. So fucking pretty, baby,” Dropping back to your elbows, you feel…small. Any other time, you might sit up, try to feel some kind of control, but for whatever reason, you stay where you are.

Joel wasn’t exaggerating when he said he wanted to take his time. It’s frustrating. It’s torture. He worships you, makes sure his mouth is on nearly every part of your body before he finishes undressing you. Your ankles hook over his shoulders, his hands grazing, dragging thin nylon up and off each leg. He kisses your calves, the inside of your knees, your thighs. He uses one hand to unhook your bra and pulls it away. He spends what feels like hours with his mouth on your breasts – sucking, licking, nipping – hands cupping, grabbing, pinning you down. The whole time, he’s telling you how badly he wants you, how pretty you are, how good you’re being for him. He’s either touching you too much, or maybe not enough. It’s hard to say. Only after he’s reduced you to an incoherent, whimpering mess do you somehow find the strength to fight back.

By this point, you’re lying in the middle of the bed, your leg hooked over his hip, the waistband of his jeans digging into bare skin. He’s still got all his fucking clothes on, which makes everything so much worse, because it’s clear whose in control here, and it’s certainly not you.

The button of his flannel is where you start, and then you work downward. Joel doesn’t stop you at any point. You think he might, just because of how things have been going. But he’s as easy as you are, and you take him in all the same after you’ve shucked off his jeans, and he’s closer to your state of buff.

To be fair, you’ve spent enough time lingering by the windows – when he’s outside mowing the lawn shirtless, or picking up his newspaper in the morning, or doing workouts in his garage with the door open (such a tease!) – to have an idea of what to expect. He’s not ripped by any means but neither are you – and you’ve never liked that anyways. But it’s not hard to ascertain that he spends all day in the sun, lifting and hauling things around. His muscles are defined, rippling lightly under his skin with each panting breath he takes. Joel’s a spectacle – broad and tan, a line of dark hair dipping from his belly-button down into the waistband of his dark-gray briefs. You can make out the way his cock is straining against the fabric.

Once you’ve appraised him as best as you can – you can see that he’s studying you, almost like he’s anxious, like you might not like what you see. As if he doesn’t know. Ridiculous. You aren’t going to leave him guessing. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Joel,” you shake your head. “You’re a fucking stud.”

Joel’s face breaks out in a grin and he yanks you back so you’re on top of him, legs on either side of his chest. And finally, finally, you can touch him like you’ve been wanting. His skin is warm – it’s kind of hot in your room, you’d forgotten to turn on the A/C, so you’re both a little sweaty. But and it’s unclear if it’s because of the heat or just how worked up you are. It doesn’t matter, because it only turns you on even more. You trace the broad plane of his chest, hand snaking down…all the way to his boxers, but he stops you.

He’d let you undress him, allowed it, but this…it crosses a line. Joel hooks his hands behind your thighs and begins to drag you up, up, up, while he shifts lower. It takes a second to register what he’s doing, and when it does, you try to stop it.

“Joel, wait I-”

“I have to taste you darlin’, that okay?” His dark hair is fanned out around his head, resting on your floral pillowcase. In the dim light, his pupils are so blown out you can barely see anything else except black. “I’ll give you whatever you want, but you’ve gotta let me taste you first.”

It’s not that you don’t want it, but he’s taken you off guard, and you’re already overwhelmed by how intimate all this has been, gentle and languid while he whispers honeyed words into your ear. His mind seems already made up, and you don’t really want to tell him no.

“Alright,” you manage, and you grip the top of the headboard.

It’s embarrassing how wet you already are. It started with his hand on your knee in the car, and you have spent the last hour clenching around nothing, squeezing your legs together and searching for friction. Anything. Well, you are about to get it.

Joel’s lips press to the insides of your thighs, once more, dangerously close to where you’re weeping for him. His nose bumps your clit when he turns his head, and you whine – hips sinking to seek the contact that he’s been denying you, and then immediately pulling back in a moment of clarity.

“No, no,” Joel’s hands immediately land on your hips to hold you in place, bringing you lower. “Stay right there for me.”

You don’t dare move.

Finally, his mouth finds you. You think he might tease for a little bit, go slow, because he’s been doing that all night, and it’s become infuriating. But he doesn’t. He eats you out, laves at you. A hot, velvet tongue that works up a steady rhythm. It’s interrupted only by the vibration of his moans every so often, which only add to the pleasure. For a moment, you miss how he’d been talking to you before, but you’re so sensitive, so eager, that you think you’ll sacrifice anything if it means he’s not going to stop. Joel keeps you still with a bruising grip on your hips. All you can do is let him have his way and whimper his name over and over, listen to him groan in response.

Being consistent is key for you. And Joel is nothing but. Practiced, but feral….like he’s been holding back all night. It’s been a long time, or maybe he’s just that excited, it’s hard to tell. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Can’t bring yourself to care about much more than him, the man below you working you over with just his mouth.

“I’m…Joel, I’m-” you try to pull off again, it’s too much, but he doesn’t allow it. Even if the position he’s in is compromising, he’s managed to find a way to assert himself. The coil inside you has wound so tightly that almost every muscle in your body is tense. Now, can’t even move, not even if you wanted to, and he keeps going, your words have only made him more determined.

The coil snaps. You cry out, using the headboard to stifle your noises – not worried that it will probably leave a mark. If you get nothing else from Joel, then at least it will serve as a reminder that he was here, beneath you, lapping up everything you have to give him. The orgasm leaves you weak, trembling, but he holds you up, works you through it until the waves begin to cease, and then you’re so overstimulated, so sensitive that you start to feel lightheaded. “Fuck, Joel, I can’t-” You tug on his hair, hope he’ll get the hint and release you, but he doesn’t. If anything, it only spurs him on.

His mouth is white hot on you, his tongue damp, firm as it circles your clit and drags downward. He gives you nowhere to go, no opportunity to come down from the high, so within minutes, or seconds – at this point, you’ve lost track of time – he’s worked you up to the precipice of release, and you’re coming again, crying out to him.

At last, he eases off, lets you relax. You do, carefully, and so does he, gradually removing his mouth from you while your hand untangles from his dark curls. Joel holds you steady as he sits back against the headboard, keeping you splayed across his lap. You don’t waste your time saying something stupid like “you didn’t have to do that,” because you’re not gonna pretend you didn’t love every second, but mostly because you’re not sure you’re capable of speaking just yet. His hand catches your jaw, and he looks at you – innocently, like he hadn’t just done what he had done, like his fucking beard, and chin, and lips weren’t still wet with you. But the ornery glint in his eyes gives him away. “You liked that?” he has the audacity to ask.

A shaky hand comes to pinch your eyebrows as you let out a weak laugh, nodding. “Yeah, Joel….yeah.”

“Good,” he answers.

“I was right about you,” you manage.

“Yeah?” He murmurs, and his hand skates up your arm, the other settling on your waist. It’s grounding, reassuring as your heart attempts to steady its beating.

“You’re trouble.”

“Yeah,” Joel murmurs, and he leans in close. “Only for you, pretty girl.”

Your hips jolt back at the term of endearment, so much so that you feel the length of his cock, hard against your ass. It’s your turn to take care of him, but it shouldn’t be difficult, because your arousal is already building again. It’ll be much, much, easier to come again, specifically around him. Plus, right now, you are willing to do just about anything for him. You kiss him, and it’s sloppy, lick the taste of yourself out of his mouth. Heat curls again in the pit of your stomach, and you grind yourself down on him through his underwear.

Joel’s head falls back, bonks the headboard, and the thud of impact is overshadowed by his agonized moan. You reach down between your bodies, let your touch land over his clothed cock. He pants out your name. So many things you could do – with only your hand, or your mouth, but before you can decide, he speaks again.

“Wanna be inside you,” he grits out. “So fucking bad.”

“You don’t want me to-”

“No,” he cuts you off. “No, no. I need you.”

“You can have me,” you nod, leaning forward to kiss his neck, pushing down the elastic of his underwear. Joel lets you, his hips stuttering, until he freezes. “Shit.” He reaches out to halt your movements.

You look up, his eyes are wide. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry, I uh, I left my wallet in the car,” Joel’s voice is pinched, palms leaving your body to press against his eyes, frustrated. “I brought condoms, but they’re - I’ll have to go get them.”

“I have some,” you pipe up, nodding towards your bedside table. Joel reaches for it, but it's your turn to stop him. “But I mean, I’m clean,” you say. “...And I have an IUD, so…”

Joel pauses, stares at you under thick lashes. “You sure that…” So tentative. “....That’s okay with you?”

You feel yourself smirk a little as you look at him. It’s not something you’d allow anyone to do. But you’re feeling a little lost in the moment. The part of your brain that usually tells you to run for the hills whenever things get too real has turned off. It’s not the first time he’s caused that, and you sort of enjoy the delusion. There’s no question. It’s Joel. “Oh, yeah.”

The words ignite something in him that you weren’t entirely prepared for, and he’s pulling you hard against his mouth with one hand, while the other pushes his briefs down the rest of the way. You don’t get the chance to see him, to feel him, before he’s lining himself up with your slick cunt.

It’s a soft glide of sensitive skin across sensitive skin, and you shake with anticipation. You don’t even know you have your eyes closed, focusing on the sensation, until you hear Joel’s voice.

“Open your eyes,” he commands. “Please just-” he swallows hard. “I wanna watch you. So fucking pretty.”

You obey, and he guides your hand to replace your own. It’s not until your hand wraps around him that you’re aware of just how thick his cock is, throbbing and leaking, and it makes you all the more eager. Slowly, you start to sink down, but it’s too challenging to take him all at once. So first, just the tip, you roll back to ease the sting, then gradually sink lower and low.

Joel moves closer to you, holding his breath, guiding you along, propped back against the pillows. “That’s it, so fucking good, baby…”

You understand why he was moving so languidly earlier. This is meant to be enjoyed. After some time, and lots of praise, your hips settle flush with his own, and he’s seated fully inside of you. It’s a delicious stretch that your body isn’t fully ready to accommodate, but it has your toes curling and mouth hanging open, bearing down on him involuntarily. Under Joel’s watchful gaze you feel terribly, terribly exposed.

“Keep going,” Joel encourages. So you move. It’s experimental at first, small ruts against him, getting used to the way it feels. It doesn’t take you long to find the spot that makes you abandon eye contact, throw your head back, and –

“Oh, Joel.”

“Yeah?” he asks, and he sounds strained, pinched – he’s holding back, but still enjoying every second. “That feel good?”

You nod furiously. He lets you find a rhythm that works for you, lets you take your time, and once you do, he starts to match your pace. His hands don’t stay in one place for very long. First, they’re resting gently on your ass. Then they’re cupping your tits, watching them bounce as they sway with your movements. He brings his knees up behind you, pressing his feet into the bed, and uses the leverage to fuck himself deeper each time you lower yourself onto him.

At this point, you’re unaware of what types of noises you must be making, and you’re thankful that you’re alone so you can be as loud as you want. His cock is hitting places inside you that you didn��t know existed, and rolling across the same spot over and over and over.

“You feel so perfect for me,” Joel says, his jaw clenched, his chest rising and falling. “So, so good, baby, so fucking pretty.”

“Mm-hmm,” is all you can answer, nodding furiously and feeling yourself grow wetter and wetter with every thrust.

You’re too easy for him. And you were too worked up to begin with. “Joel, I can’t-”

He slams his hips up into yours so hard you cut yourself off with a choked gasp. Then he does it again. “You gonna come for me?” he asks. “I can feel you, baby, I know it’s close.”

“Y-yeah,” he’s got you stammering on your words. You’re clamping down onto him so tightly it hurts. But you’re so desperate to come, to feel what it’ll do to him, that you don’t stop.

“Come here,” he murmurs, hands around your waist, pulling you down so your lips are nearly touching. “Stay close to me.”

“Oh, fuck, oh-” The warmth of his body so close to yours, your hands bracing themselves on his chest, the comfort of his arms around you, all coupled with one vicious rut of his hips has you right there. Joel tilts your head back just enough so you’re forced to look directly at him – and then you come undone.

You want to close your eyes, turn your head, but you’ve got nowhere to go, and he’s right in front of you. Joel’s touch slides up your back, draws you even closer, and you ride out your third orgasm of the night while pressed entirely against his chest, forced to be vulnerable in a way you’ve never been with anyone before. “So good, baby, so good. Such a good fuckin’ girl for me,” he praises you through it, works you through it, until you’re all but melted in his arms, and he still hasn’t pulled his eyes away.

Utterly spent, you know, distantly, somewhere, that he has to come. However, Joel takes over, flips you both so you’re underneath him, and presses himself deep into the cradle of your pelvis. He’s heavy on top of you, but the weight is somehow soothing.

“I thought about you,” you murmur, hoping it’ll help. His jaw is set, solely focused on his own release. “How good you’d feel.”

“Fuck, really?” he grunts. “I-I- did too.”

“Yeah?” you ask, feeling flush at the admission. “I thought about….letting y-you use me.”

Joel groans your name, curses loudly, ruts into you even harder. You can feel him throbbing, so fucking close, and you arch yourself up to meet him, pleasure already building again, even though you thought it wasn’t possible.

“It’s so much better, Joel, you’re so much better–”

Than I imagined. But you don’t have to finish the thought. The idea of you, thinking of him, seems to be enough as it is, and you feel him pulsing, warmth blooming and spreading out as he groans, throws his head back and spills himself impossibly deep inside you. If you weren’t utterly spent, the feeling of him coming – and nothing between you, probably would have set you off again. For now, it’s enough.

His whole body goes limp as he relaxes his arms from where they’re braced on either side of you, his head falling into the crook of your neck. You hear him take a few, haggard breaths once it’s over, and then a deep chuckle vibrates in your ear. “Fuck, baby.”

You rub his shoulder lightly to soothe him, and his lips find the underside of your jaw, kissing lightly his beard scratching your cheeks. For an undetermined amount of time, he remains there. Normally, you’d probably check his watch, but you’ve noticed that the one he always wears is broken, and really….you feel content.

Finally, Joel pulls away, cursing under his breath and withdrawing from you. He runs his hand through his hair, and flops on his back by your side, and you feel horribly empty. After he’s cupped your cheek, turning you gently to look at him – he gives you a tender, affectionate smile.

It hits you like a freight train.

He was not the type of man you dated. The men you dated liked to slap, choke, withhold. That had always been what you’d gotten off to. The more frenzied, the more impersonal – the better. That wasn’t to say Joel hadn’t been passionate. But you’d never experienced anything like this before.

You tear away from his gaze, focus on the ceiling. Heart pounding, threatening to break through your ribs, you feel your mouth dry up, your eyes burn and fuck – you’re about to cry. Try to turn yourself away from him, but he sees it.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just uh-” your voice catches on the lump forming in the back of your throat and cracks audibly, raw.

“Hey– ” you hear the mattress shift, he’s moving closer, and you start to scramble. You’ve gotta leave. Get to the bathroom, compose yourself. “Where are you goin?”

“Joel, I just need to-” but his hand circles your wrist, and you don’t have the power to resist him. The bones of his hand press firmly in your cheek, turning your head so you have to look at him. There are tears in your eyes.

“What’s wrong, baby? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Up close you can see that his eyes aren’t brown – they’re hazel. Mesmerizing, long lashes – gold and green rimming his irises. How had you not noticed that before?

“No, no not at all it was just…” you’re talking so fast, not even sure where you’re going with the sentence. “I’m sorry, I liked it I just-I don’t know,” you stutter. Shaking your head, you cover your face. You don’t want to feel this way with him here. “I’m not used to-”

Joel, who has never seen you at a loss for words, frowns, draws you against him. “Come here.”

“It’s okay,” he lets you press your face just below his jaw. He’s being so soft, it makes everything that much worse. Tears slip down your cheeks, landing on his skin. He strokes your hair, holds you so tightly, firmly, "It was intense, huh?”

You want to resent the way he’s speaking to you – like you’re a child who fell off her bike and skinned her knee, and not a grown ass woman realizing how disconnected she’s felt with every other partner until now. But unfortunately, it’s kind of working. You murmur an affirmation in response. ”I’ve got you, it’s okay,” he promises.

He holds you until the tide of emotion swells, settles, lips against your temple, his fingertips tracing up and down your spine, and gives you the time to compose yourself.

“That was really nice, I promise,” you say, eventually. And then, because he’s been so gracious, you’re honest. “It’s just been…a long time…” Forever, really. “Since I felt…”

“I know,” Joel nods. “Me too. It’s alright.”

“Yeah,” you bob your head. He holds your face reverently, and pulls you in for a chaste kiss before tucking you back against his chest. You close your eyes, nestle against him. He strokes your hair while you listen to the steady beat of his heart.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next thing you know, you’re being gently shaken awake. Somehow, you’d fallen asleep.

“Hey, baby,” Joel murmurs softly.

“Mmm?” you groan in response, exhaustion clinging to your limbs.

“I’m sorry, I gotta get going.”

You scoff into his neck and make a noise of protest, still not entirely roused, he’d woken you too delicately. When he speaks, his lips brush against your forehead, hands still tracing up and down the lines of your body and making you shiver. “I told Sarah and Tommy I’d be home by midnight.”

“Right,” you mutter, finding the strength to push yourself off of him and stretch. Joel sits up, very tentatively releasing you from his grip.

“I’m sorry I had to wake you, I can see myself out.”

“No, no,” you shake your head. “No, please. Do you need anything?”

“Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course,” you point towards the ensuite.

Joel collects his discarded clothes off the bed, then the floor, and disappears. You hear the sink running, watch the shuffling shadows he casts in the crack below the door. While he’s doing that, you slip into your robe and run your fingers through your hair, taking in the disheveled state of your bed, before deciding to clean up in the extra bathroom down the hall.

On your way back, you run into Joel, who looks better than ever, tanned skin glowing, a soft smile on his face. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”

“This was nice. I had a really good time.”

“Me too.”

“Will you…” he trails off, rubs his jaw. “Will you be okay? I don’t want to-”

“I’m fine,” you say, dismissively. “I just had a moment.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.” Joel studies you carefully, and you’re prompted to continue. “I promise. Joel. This was nice.”

“It was,” he grins. “I’d like to see you again.”

“Me too,” you don’t even think before you answer, despite everything. It surprises you, how willing you suddenly are.

“Good.” He kisses you, slow and lingering. “I’ll give you a call.”

“Okay.”

part vi

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rangerbarbz · 1 year

Text

No Need to Worry

Disclaimer: This is another request from one of my wonderful readers! I’m so flattered y’all like my stories enough to actually want to continue reading them and submit ideas to me. Thank you so much <3

Summary: Reader is very anxious about a test they took; Ford comforts them with cuddles and a back massage

You groaned and flung yourself onto Ford’s bed. “I messed up so bad, baby. It’s like my brain put everything I knew about physics in the garbage can,” you complained. You had horrible test anxiety and were already struggling in physics as it was.

“I can’t understand you when your face is buried in a pillow, dear,” Ford said gently, resting his hand on the small of your back. You rolled onto your side to face him. He smiled when he saw your face even though it didn’t have the most pleasant expression on it. “There’s my girl. Come here.” He stretched out his arms towards you wanting you to climb on his lap.

You obliged and sat on his lap with your face in the crook of his neck. He smelled like old books and cedar. You wrapped your arms around his torso as his large hands moved underneath your shirt to caress your back. You felt so safe like this. His arms were muscular, he was warm, and the height difference was just the cherry on top of an already perfect sundae.

“Now,” he cooed, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“Well, I had a test today in physics. You know the one I’ve been worried about?”

“The one I helped you study on three days in a row?” Ford asked against your temple before pressing a kiss to it.

“Yes, that one. I was so confident about it walking into class, but when she gave me the test, I knew nothing,” you sniffled. Tears had been falling since you had been in Ford’s arms. You hated crying in front of him. “I just don’t think I did good, Ford. I tried really hard, and I feel like I forgot everything.”

“Hey, look at me,” Ford replied, grabbing your shoulders, and removing you from the comfort that was his collarbones. He cupped your face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears from your cheeks. You gazed into his big, whiskey eyes. “Did you try your best?”

“Yeah, but- ‘’

“Is there anything you can do about it now?” he continued with one eyebrow raised.

“No,” you answered meekly.

“Then you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about it,” he murmured, pulling you back into his embrace. “I promise you, you did better than you think. I saw how you worked through those practice problems. You were on fire. We all have our off days, sweetheart. Don’t let it get you down.” He held you tightly to his chest while you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Okay. You’re right. Thank you,” you mumbled, wiping the snot from your nose. You looked down at where your head had been resting and noticed a wet stain on his sweater. “Oh no. I’m so sorry. This is your favorite sweater,” you apologized, touching your fingertips to neckline.

“Oh please. No need to worry. Nothing that a quick wash can’t fix,” he reassured you. “Here, I know something that can make you feel even better.” He patted the side of your thigh signaling for you to get up. You reluctantly got off his lap and sat on the comforter of his bed facing him. “Turn around,” he instructed. You squinted at him but adjusted yourself so you were facing the opposite way.

“What are you do-“ You were cut off by the feeling of his strong hands rubbing into your shoulders. You sighed dreamily, a grin spreading across your face. “Baby, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Nonsense,” he asserted. “I would do anything for you.” Your face became a light shade of pink. As much as you hated to admit it, you enjoyed him spoiling you.

“Well, I really appreciate it,” you said just barely above a whisper. His hands were working out some knots and tensities in your shoulder blades.

“Of course,” he purred, kissing the nape of your neck. “If you’re comfortable with it, I can do a lot better without your shirt on.” He didn’t have to tell you twice. You pulled you t-shirt over your head and tossed it to the side. He laughed. “Well, that was easy. Okay, so if you lay down on your stomach, I’ll start working my way down,” Ford instructed.

You laid your head on his cool, cotton pillow and tucked your hands underneath it. His thumbs started rubbing circles into the middle of your back. The rest of his fingers tenderly massaged below your shoulders.

“Do you mind if I, uh…” Ford questioned, lifting the hook of your bra with his finger.

You gave permission by throwing a thumbs up at him. You were so relaxed you didn’t have energy to talk. He chuckled and undid the clasp effortlessly. (He’s had lots of practice with you.) His hands began to meld into your body, pressing in all your sensitive spots. Ford knew just how to make you feel good. (Again, he’s had lots of practice with you.) His hands squeezed your waist and then the soft flesh of your hips. It was heaven.

Just when you thought it was over, he peppered kisses all over your body. His lips grazed every inch of your skin with such delicacy. It was like being kissed by a feather. You giggled as butterflies grew in your stomach. After he was satisfied with his lips’ exploration, he rested his weight on your back. He was much heavier than you, but it was a comforting weight.

“I love you,” you said against the pillow. You weren’t sure if he heard you or not.

“And I love you,” Ford replied, moving your hair aside to kiss below your ear.

He heard you.

Author’s Note: So I know, I have only written fluff on here, but for my spicier stuff I will be providing a link to Archive of Our Own, so be on the lookout 😉

#fluff #ford pines #ford pines x reader #gravity falls #grunkle ford #grunkle stan #imagine #pines family #stanford pines #stanley pines #one shot

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myfavouritefoodismilkbread · 10 months

Text

Y/N being a brat on purpose because she likes the punishments

Hyung line

Warnings: suggestive, degradation, punishment, edging, orgasm denial, spanking

A/N: just a subby here who wished these happen to her y’all :)) it’s pure fiction, my imagination, my writing DOES NOT reflect the way the boys really are

Chan

For the last 2 months you’ve played by his rules, you’ve been the perfect little good girl he wanted, but today you felt a bit reckless. You love his spankings, it’s something about his big hands landing on your sensitive skin of your bum. Today was the day when you’re gonna say no, be a brat, you needed the brat treatment, just the tough of it makes your pussy wet.

“Babygirl, the dinner is ready, come eat please” said your beloved boyfriend Chan, and you knew it was your time to shine.

“No, I’m not hungry” you said with a smirk on your lips.

Chan thought that he didn’t quite hear right, you saying no? That’s not something he enjoyed so much. He came by the sofa where you stand playing on your switch, and he asked you:

“Excuse me? I don’t think I hear you right. What did you said, babygirl?”

He wasn’t that angry, not yet at least. So you think you can play harder. Without looking at him, your head invested in the game you played, you said again:

“I said no daddy, I’m not hungry. I don’t wanna”

He look at you in disbelief, what do you mean no? He was tired from today’s schedules, and even so he wanted to cook for you to spoil his babygirl and she said no? He wasn’t having any of that.

“Y/N.”

Now you got him where you wanted. Calling you by your name? He was angry. But it wasn’t quite enough, you decided you could do more, so the moment when you look up at him and told him what you wanted to say, you knew it’s gonna be over for you, your pussy clenching around nothing just by the tought:

“Christopher.”

That was it. The last straw. You calling him by his name? No, this is not happening.

“Bend over my knees. Now. If you’re gonna squirm, cry, scream or anything related to it I’m gonna start over. 10 spanks, you’re gonna count, you hear me, you brat?”

HELL YES. You looked into his eyes and simply told him “Yes, daddy” compling with everything he said.

You bend over his knees, and the moment you put yourself into the position to take your punishment he tore your panties and put his 2 fingers over your pussy which was glistering with your arousal.

You hear him laugh at that, by now he figured out your plan and he said:

“You’ve being a brat on purpose? Hmm, babygirl? You wanted daddy to spank you, princess?”

While he said those words to you, he also put his fingers inside your pussy and start scissoring them, a moan slipped thru your mouth already:

“N-no daddy, ahh, I promise!”

“You fucking brat, also lying to her daddy?”

SPANK.

He caught you by surprise, a sound of pain and pleasure erupted from your month.

“What did I said to you, babygirl? No sounds, or I’m gonna start again. Add 5 more because you didn’t count, yea?”

Lee Know

Minho was scary when he was mad, you knew. But something about mean Minho got you butterflies in your tummy, also, when you were being a brat it always end up with you squirting.

His punishment were not easy, he liked to edge you ‘till the verge of tears and denied your orgasm until he was convinced you deserve to cum.

Today was the day, you wanted to make him mad, so when he asked you if you wanted to go with him at dance practice you knew that was the perfect place.

In one of the breaks, you looked at Changbin and you knew he was gonna be the victim. Without much notice, you said loud enough so your boyfriend could hear you:

“Hey Binnie, you worked out lately? Your arms looks good today!”

At that statement, your boyfriend head snaps at you and he looks at you intensly, but that wasn’t enough. When Changbin attention was on you, you said to him:

“I really wanna go to the gym too but I don’t know where to start. Maybe you can teach me some things, for wannabes”

Changbin smiled at you because he figure it out what you were tryna do, so as a good friend he played along:

“Sure, y/n. If you are free tomorrow, I can show you some things, what do you say, kitten?”

When Minho heard Changbin call you kitten he saw red. Only him gets to call you kitten, and Bin knew. You smiled at Changbin because you knew he was helping you and also to piss off Minho more. When you wanted to respond to Changbin you heard your boyfriend say:

“I’m going home. See you tomorrow. Y/N, get out, now”

At his words you got up and went to the door, looking at Changbin and whispering a “Thank you” to him, he already winked back at you.

You arrive in Minho’s car, pretending that nothing’s happening, and you ask him with your sweetest voice:

“What’s worng, Min? Did something happen?”

He looks at you and you saw how angry he was. He scared you a little but you knew it’s gonna be the ride of your life. He open his mouth and said in his deep voice:

“You wanna be a slut around my friends? It’s not a problem, kitten. I’m gonna treat you like the slut you are, yea? Get in the back, now”

Shit, he is already degrading you, he was mad mad. You get into the back of the car and looked at him with innocent eyes. He asked you:

“What’s your safe word?”

“Teacup” you said looking at him serios in the eyes, a bit scared but excited.

“Good, remember it, yeah? Take your chlotes off”

“But Min, what if someone see us? We are in the parking lot at JYP” you said concerned a little. He just laugh at you saying:

“Let them, everyone needs to know who you belong to. You had to think about that before starting being a whore, yeah? Now put on a show for Binnie, I just text him to come bring me my bottle which I acidentally forgot, yeah kitten?”

Changbin

Changbin never gets mad at you, much of it is because the man loves and cherishes you with all his being.

Sex with him is always vanilla. Don't get me wrong, you love sex with him, he always makes sure you finish first, not just once, at least 3 times.

The thing is that once in a while, when you really piss him off, he fucks you hard, so hard you can't talk. That was his punishment.

Today you felt like he needed to fuck you that way, hard, so you made up a plan to piss him off, of course. Nothing piss Binnie off more than silence treatment. He’s the type of guy who wants to solve his problems with you, he can’t stand you not talking to him, so when he comes in your shared bed and asked you:

“What’s up, Jagi?” you didn’t respond to him. He tought that you didn’t hear him and tell you again:

“Jagiya, hello?”

But nothing. Silence. He started getting worried at first and asked you:

“Jagi what’s wrong, are you mad at me? I did something wrong?”

At that you just glanced at him and turn yourself on the other side, now your back facing him.

Changbin didn’t eat that at all, no. Instead he got mad, pulling you by your hand and turned you to face him telling you in his deepest voice:

“If you’re not gonna talk to me this won’t end well, Y/N. Tell me what is wrong so we can fix it or I’m gonna make sure you won’t walk for the rest of the week, cause I’m gonna fuck this attitude out of you”

You had him. You really had him. So in order for him to do what he told you he would do, you made a gesture you knew it’s gonna be the end for you. You just rolled your eyes, without saying a word.

Changbin was MAD. He pin your hands above your head and placed himself above you, looking strainght into your eyes, saying:

“When I ask you what color are you you’re gonna fucking tell me, understand?”

Fuck yes. You nod your head looking at him. At that he told you:

“Words, princess.”

“Yes, Bin”

He spanked you on your tights.

“That’s not my name, jagi. Tell me again, but use my name properly this time.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Atta girl.”

Hyunjin

Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic and you wouldn’t change that for the world. He called you his muse, the way he called you “baby” so sweet, with pure love in his eyes, he loved you endlessly and he’s convinced he can’t live without you.

But also, Hyunjin have a part in him that the world don’t see it, only you see it, when you’re being a brat. His punishments are just like Minho, hard but always end up with you squirting and in bed for at least 2 days, because you feel so sore.

Hyunjin it’s a person who gets angry easily. He have a temper so much like yours, the difference between you two is that he’s turning himself into a hard dom when he’s mad, something that you love with all your heart and pussy.

Today was one of that days when frustration got the best of you, he leave this morning and let you in your shared bed with the promise that he’ll come home as soon as you could, but the problem is you were horny. So, so horny. So you decided to take the problems in your hands and text him:

“Hyuneee, i need you so bad right now…”

You put your phone down and waited patienly on the sofa of your shared apartament for a reply. 2 minutes pass and you hear a notification on your phone, a text from your boyfriend:

“Baby I promise it’s not gonna take long, in max 2 hours I’m home, yeah sweets?”

You groan at his response, 2 hours it’s too long, so you text him back:

“But 2 hours are too long Jinnie, please, I can’t…”

He saw your message immediately, a sign that he is with his phone in his hands, so you text him another one:

“Shit daddy, I need you so bad rn”

He types. And stop. And types again. And stop again. It was agonizing to say at least. Finally, a message appear on your screen:

“Baby, i’m coming home as fast as I can. Don’t forget that you don’t have permission to play with yourself, don’t even think about touching your princess parts, yeah baby?”

At that a smirk appear on your face. You open the camera and record a video of yourself doing exactly what he told you not to, playing with yourself. You press send along with this message:

“But I can’t hold it daddy, ‘m so wet for you, please it hurts”

After 1 minute you saw that he was offline. Fucking prick, who does he think he is? Telling you to not play with yourself and after that ignoring you? No, you’re gonna show him that this time you make the rules.

You went into your bedroom and take the pink vibrator out of your nightstand, turning it on and place it on your clit, some of the tension starting to fade away.

You didn’t hear the door open, you were too lost into your own pleasure to hear your boyfriend coming in your bedroom, leaning against the door frame, looking at you.

After watching for a few seconds, you heard his voice clear when he said:

“What the fuck are you doing? I told you, you don’t have the permission to do that, why would you want to be a brat, today, hmm? You wanted me that badly, baby? You have me, but the moment I start to touch you don’t you dare to even think about cumming until I give you the permission, you hear me sweets?”

#skz #skz x reader #skz smut #stray kids #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin

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lemonandlime22 · 2 years

Note

Twisted wonderland character react to mother Mc that came to wonderland with a baby If it is ok you don’t have to if you don’t want to

Parent!Yuu coming to Twisted Wonderland with their child

Warning(s): teen parent reader, cussing, not edited

A/N: You didn't specify what characters so its just ganna be general hc. Keeping it gn cause I dont write fem readers rn.

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Grim opens you coffin and finds you holding a crying baby then slowly closes it

both you and ya kid have your own robes and Grim tries to convince you to him him your baby's.

Crowley passes out thinking that the black carriage just picked up two kids and your parents were going to sue him all to hell

then you tell him that its your child and he's all better

cause you can't sue him :).

Grim always refers to himself when around the baby as uncle Grim

he will cry if the bbys first words aren't his name.

The ghost will babysit for you a lot, their its unofficial godparents

they also like to put the baby back to sleep when they cry I the middle of the night.

Train gives you some pointers on random parenting things, he also is happy to last minute babysit for you when you have pop quizzes or anything like that

same with most of the other teachers,

Vargas will do little baby exercises with them while you run laps or wtf you have to do that day

Crowley would offer to help, but please be my the responsible choice and never leave him alone with your child.

You two are always welcome to unbirthday parties, Trey will make baby food for them or baby friendly foods he also will be happy to teach you how to properly brush their teeth

Deuce and Ace love playing and entertaining them, Cater take so many pics of them

Riddle tries his best to get along with the baby but it's very awkward, which is also rly cute.

Take them to Leona and he'll throw yall out, he already has one brat to deal with he doesn't want another.

Ruggie will give you some easy food recopies for you to make that the baby can have

Jack will babysit in the early mornings on occasion by taking them out for a run with him in one of those chest/back strap things.

Do not on any occasion let Floyd hold your baby, he will throw them up into outer space!

Jade will try to give them some mushrooms so just to be safe keep your distance with him too

Azul will have war type flashbacks from seeing you chubby baby.

Kalim is spoiling the shit out of your child, he's also happy to babysit he's got more experience then most with how many little siblings he has

Jamil doesn't mind being around the mushy thing if it's not annoying.

Epel LOVES them! their just the right amount of chaos he needs to stay sane, plus they might remind him of some of the kids in his family or home town

Rook is another happy babysitter, likes to put his hat on them even though its way to big for them

keep the tf away from Vil, on his request

especially if they have ever or have come close to fucking up his makeup or hair or anything like that.

Ortho enjoys playing with them, he thinks their so interesting, also would love to hang out with them but Idia refuses to allow kids

especially babies

anywhere near his room.

Be carful, Lilia might try to adopt them, maybe both of you and he'll be a grandpa

he hasn't decided yet

he also might try and teach them to call him grandpa and Silver uncle

also for some reason, prob the animals that are always around him, your kid loves Silver

Sebek contently makes your baby cry cause of how loud he is, he also yells/scolds at them if they ever cry while Lilia or Malleus hold them

Malleus is basically their unofficial dad, he adores them and spending time with them, even giving them gifts

not just toys tho like things they need

this man even reads parenting books!

fuck after a while he might even start a collage fund for them.

Anyway-

Good luck raising your kid here!

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695 notes · View notes

absurdthirst · 2 years

Text

The Hierarchy {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Reader is described as having pull-able hair (no other physical descriptions), post apocalyptic setting, mentions of breeding, mentions of burning bodies, derogatory language (whore), sarcasm, hate fucking, rough sex, unprotected sex, mentions of impregnation, age gap (19 years)

Comments: You hate Joel Miller but he is also fucking sexy. Driving you insane by trading barbs with you while you are being punished for not giving in and becoming a brood mare to repopulate the world. Until things come to a head and Joel does what he wants.

A/N: We just wanted Joel to fuck us in an alley while pulling our hair, okay?

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You huff, standing in line for your ration cards at the end of the day. You are covered in ash and you want to go to your room and cry, too many kids were in today's burn. That's why you are here in the first place. The QZ works like any other QZ. There's a hierarchy. Your father is high up, a big wig that is in charge along with several others. You were seventeen when the outbreak happened and now you've run out the clock of getting married and having a kid.

"We need to repopulate the earth." Your father lectured you, telling you about Chad, the sweet son of a fellow big wig who you has zero interest in fucking. You don't want to bring a kid into this fucked up world. You don't want a husband to answer to. The world has changed… survival is all that matters. To punish you for not complying, you've been sent to work with the "worker bees of the hive."

Not that you mind the work, it gives you purpose. The man in front of you grunts when he receives his ration cards, already asking for another job. "You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you?" You snort and he looks over his shoulder at you. Joel Miller is a miserable bastard but fuck, he's sexy in a rough and ragged way.

“What the fuck are you lookin’ at?” Joel stares you down, unimpressed with your last name even though everyone here knows who you are. Most catering to your pampered ass but he expected you to pull your weight like everyone else.

“Joel, that’s -“ The agent in charge of passing out the ration cards leans forward, a frantic look on his face.

“I know who it is.” He interrupts the FEDRA agent, knowing he can get away with it because he’s a fucking hard worker and he supplies the bastard with pills. He turns back towards you with a glower on his face. “You got something to say, pussy cat?” He smirks. “Or better yet, kitten?”

You huff, not liking that nickname. You know these people think you’re some kind of princess who gets spoiled but they don’t understand how it is when you’re at the top of the food chain. You long to be normal, to be able to live your life without the obligations expected of you by your father. “Just that you’re an asshole who seeks to love working the shitty jobs no one else wants. Makes me wonder why you wanna shovel shit…unless you have some kind of secret kink.” You spit back and he chuckles, making you clench your jaw to hide your annoyance.

“That’s me, kitten. Shoveling your shit does it for me.” The smirk on his face drops and he leans in, his intense stare fixated on you and it pleases him when you shuffle slightly, giving away your nerves. “Who else would clean up your throne? Some of us have to work to eat.” He sneers. “Unlike you.” Straightening up, Joel tucks his ration cards into his pocket and steps around you, starting to walk away without another word.

You huff, shaking your head as he stalks off and you clock out, grabbing your ration cards. You quickly move to catch up with him, “I have to work to eat just like everyone else. I’m not in my dad’s good books right now. He wanted me to get knocked up so I’m relegated to shoveling shit next to assholes like you.”

“Oh no, kitten has to sharpen her claws.” Joel rolls his eyes, keeping his gait steady as he moves through the city. He needs to conduct some business. “Make sure that you wear gloves so you don’t ruin your pretty little hands.”

“You’re such a dick. It’s not my fault that my dad is a leader of this city and you are - you’re a fucking nobody.” You growl, getting pissed at his complete dismissal of you. You stumble as you follow him down the alleyways you’ve never taken before. The area becomes impossibly more grungy and you see the suspicious characters lingering in doorways.

Joel stops suddenly, pushing you up against the bricks and puts his face a mere inch from yours. “You’re right, I am nobody.” He growls. “Which means I ain’t got shit to lose.” He narrows his eyes on you for a minute before he pushes away from you and turns around. “Go home to your castle and have babies, kitten.” He tosses over his shoulder. “Leave the shit shovelin’ to the ‘nobodies’.”

Exhaling shakily, you hate how your cunt is dripping at the rough way he pushes you against the wall. You watch him stalk off and you huff, shaking your head at the grizzly man stomping away from you. You want to hate him, you want to make him suffer, but he’s so fucking sexy. He’s grungy and coarse but you end up thinking of him every night when your hand is between your legs. “Asshole.” You mutter, knowing you’ll still be thinking of him later. Tomorrow, your punishment continues and you’ll see him again

****

Joel rolls his eyes and scoffs when he sees you standing in the line with the other workers who have shown up for this work. “Didn’t see you yesterday, kitten.” He taunts. “Not interested in shoveling shit? Thought you went back to your ivory tower.”

“And you drug yourself from the depths of hell to grace us all with your presence?” You retort, hating that his eyes seem to burn into your skin, setting you on fire. “I’m here to earn my keep. I don’t want to be a prize mare for some boring prick. I would rather shovel shit than spend another afternoon discussing how much of a stash of champagne they have.”

He respects you for that more than he’s willing to let you know. Scoffing instead and rolling his eyes. “In other words, you want to slum for a little while before you settle down. It’s a tale as old as time, kitten.” He tells you, enjoying the way you fume before the FEDRA supervisor comes over and starts assigning jobs. Burning bodies is shit work, but it was necessary for the safety of the QZ. Joel sighs, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket and tying it around his neck.

You follow suit, covering your face with the bandana, and you get to work. This is the harsh reality of the world you live in. Burning the bodies of the infected, ensuring survival for the ones who remain. It’s no world for a child. You watch Joel work methodically, his eyes blank, without emotion, and you are unable to not have grief for the bodies you carry to the pit. Each one was someone’s child, someone’s spouse, perhaps someone’s parent. You aren’t sure how many bodies you carry but soon, the time comes for the end of shift. Joel is a couple of people in front of you this time and the urge to talk to him is intense. “Here you go, princess.” The supervisor jokes and you scowl, snatching the slips from his fingers.

“Joel.” You call out to his retesting form, rushing to catch up with him.

“What do you want?” Joel doesn’t every turn around to face you, ready to get away from the fucking stink of burning flesh. It permeated his skin, hair and nostrils. He wants to drink until he forgets, until he doesn’t care that he just burned people. That he had to carry children’s bodies back to the flames from the truck and remember how he hadn’t even been able to do anything more for Sarah. “Shouldn’t you be counting your ration cards?”

“I want you to have them.” You hold the cards out to him. He stops, turning around, and you think he’s happy until you see his scowl.

“You think I need fuckin’ charity?” He hisses and your jaw drops.

“Oh no. No. I just - I - I figured - I just wanted to be fucking nice for once, okay? I know you hate me but you work hard and I don’t need these. I just trade them and - just take them.” You demand, waving them towards him.

Joel scoffs and shakes his head. “I’m not takin’ your cards.” His jaw clenches because it would put him that much closer to getting that battery. But he’s not taken ration cards from you. “Go trade them for your champagne.”

“God, why do you have to fight everything? Just take ‘em. I don’t need them. I want you to have them. God knows why when you’re such a fucking asshole who apparently hates me. Yet here I am. I’m the damn glutton for punishment, hey? Trying to give you ration slips when I don’t have to.” You growl, poking him in the chest.

“Am I supposed to kneel at your feet and be thankful?” Joel ignores the finger in his chest, his jaw rocking in answer and he doesn’t know why you get under his skin. You do though, and it pisses him off. You poke him harder and he grabs your hand, twisting it around until your body swings, trying to get away but he shoves your hand behind you and presses you up against the wall. Leveling his mouth next to your ear, he growls out, “next time I won’t be so nice, kitten.” He twists your hand a little more. “Unlike the others. I won’t show you mercy.”

You bite your lip, resisting the urge to moan as he presses up against you. He pulls back way too soon, letting go of your arm. You should be terrified but you stand there, watching him walk off, and you inhale shakily before you shout out. “Fuck you, asshole!” You yell at his back and he has the audacity to chuckle. You manage to suppress the stomp that you want to inflict on the ground and you spin around, ready to go home and think about Joel pushing you up against the wall again.

****

You’re on clean up duty today. Deciding to take the same shift as Joel despite him being a dick. You are drawn to him. You watch him across the way, shoveling the trash from the city, and you pause for a moment, until someone yells for you to keep moving. You roll your eyes, getting back to work. When the shift is over, you don’t see Joel until he’s behind you as you collect your ration sheets.

Joel hears the comments behind him, the grumbling about the ‘Princess’ getting more ration cards, or taking them away from people who need them. “Don’t worry.” He speaks up so the group complaining behind him can hear. “Kitten won’t be doing manual labor much longer,” he chuckles. “She broke two nails today.” He wants them to shut up, doesn’t want to have a fucking fight down here to bring a squad of FEDRA troops down. A fight means a day being fucking beaten in lock up and he has shit to do.

You huff, glaring at him over your shoulder. “Go fuck yourself, Miller.” You snatch your ration cards, handing them to a woman you know has two children. “Take them.” You demand and you look at Joel, “make sure she keeps them.”

You stride off, pulling off your gloves and shoving them in your back pocket. You’re sick and tired of people thinking your life is better. Yes, you have access to nicer things, but you don’t have freedom. You don’t get to decide who you associate with. You can never leave the QZ. Your father would never allow it.

Joel huffs to himself, rolling his eyes at how dramatic you are all because he tried to save your ass from getting into a pissing match with the fucking Youngston boys. More brass balls than brains and a chip on their shoulders for anyone in the hierarchy of this fucking place. He collects his own cards and turns around, sighing slightly as he turns in the direction you marched off in.

You hear your name but you don’t turn around, stomping off down the alleyway you know he meets his customers in for the ‘extras’ he sells. You hear him get closer and you spin around, pissed at him for degrading you in front of those assholes. “What the fuck do you want, Joel?” You growl, sick of his bullshit.

Joel arches a brow at your pissy tone and stops a few steps from you, sliding his hands in his pockets and tapping on the front of his jeans. “You didn’t say thank you for saving your ass back there.” He smirks, knowing that you will be pissed. “So I’m guessin’ you wanted to do that privately.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “For saving my ass? My ass was perfectly fine. Those pricks wouldn’t have done shit. They know what would happen…and what exactly do you have in mind?” You snort, shaking your head at his cocky smirk.

Joel snorts and shakes his head. “You obviously don’t know shit about where you are, kitten.” He huffs. “Those boys don’t give a shit who your daddy is. Or what he thinks he can do to them.” He looks you up and down very pointedly. “Your ‘perfectly fine’ ass would have been at the bottom of a dog pile while you were getting it beat and I don’t have time for that shit today.”

“You would’ve helped? Why?” You narrow your eyes at him, “I thought you didn’t want my ration sheets? I thought Joel Miller was independent. I thought Joel Miller didn’t need anyone. I thought Joel Miller was a sarcastic, cynical old man who gets his joy from ruining my damn life.”

Joel blows out a breath, trying to keep hold of his temper. He shuffles, the comments are clearly your opinion and for some reason that enrages him even more. “Met my joy quota for today.” He snarks back at you. “Run home kitten, maybe daddy will let you pick out the stud for your babies.”

“Fuck you!” You spit at him, your entire body shaking. “Fuck you, you - you are just mad because you would never get the chance to be that stud.” You yell, knowing you’re being petty but you’re angry and you can’t stop yourself from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Joel stares at you for a second before he starts laughing. A sarcastic, harsh bark where he clearly believes that you are delusional. Has he thought about fucking you? Sure, he’s a man. But you wouldn’t like the way he would do it, probably bitch and complain that he wasn’t kissing your ass enough.

His laughter boils your blood, making you hiss his name, and you step towards him. "You really are an asshole." You huff, "fuck you Joel." You spit and punch his chest. You've had enough of his shit. If he hates you that much, why does he talk to you?

Joel grabs your hand and spins you around, pressing you up against the alley wall, this time his other hand wrapped around your throat to keep you in place. “Daddy never teach you to keep your fuckin’ hands to yourself?” He growls, wondering why you keep pushing him.

You wiggle against him, trying to get free but he's stronger and keeps you pinned against the wall. "Your daddy never teach you that it's wrong to restrain a woman?" You retort, his fingers tight around your neck.

"Only if she doesn't want me to fuck her brains out." He chuckles and you can't stop the moan that escapes your lips.

There’s a moment where Joel just watches you, smirking as if he’s discovered a box full of ration cards. “There’s the problem.” He coos mockingly. “Daddy doesn’t know his little kitten is really just a cock hungry whore.” He tightens his fingers slightly on your throat and feels your sharp inhaled breath. There’s a decision to be made right now and he’s making it. Letting go of your throat, he spins you around and presses your front into the wall as he wraps his hand into your hair and yanks it back so you look him in the eyes. “Unbutton your fuckin’ pants.”

You couldn't deny him, not with the way your cunt is clenching around nothing, soaked and desperate for the man behind you to just fucking ruin you. Your hands fumble as you unbutton your pants, trying to shove them down while you hear the unbuckling of his belt. "Fuck, Joel. I - fuck me." You beg breathlessly.

He shouldn’t. There’s no way he should put his rough, dirty hands on you. Your daddy would kill him, but he doesn’t care about that right now. He has to unbuckle his pants one handed, the other still holding onto you by the hair and he doesn’t miss how you moan when he tugs on it. “Dirty fucking thing.” He groans in your ear as he spits in his hand and smears it over his cock, “maybe this will shut you up.” With a grunt, Joel lines up and pushes inside you to the hilt. Not stopping until your hips are hitting the brick wall and he is grinding into you as he tries to work himself completely inside your cunt.

"Oh my fucking God." You choke, the words stolen from your throat with how fucking deep he is inside of you. He's so long, he feels like he's in your guts. His fingers tug on your hair and your walls clamp down on his cock. Ashamed to say you're soaking wet because of him, you whine when he pulls out of you until you cry when he pushes deep once more. "Shit. Shit. Shit." You pant, the brick wall scratching your cheek but you don't care.

You’re fucking tight and drenching his cock. The grumble of satisfaction rises from his chest and he can’t help but taunt you with it as he kicks one of your feet wider. “Easier ways to get me to fuck you, kitten.” He grunts into your ear. “But now I’m going to make sure you remember it.” Joel can and will inflict pain, he does what he needs to do in this world but he watches the way that your head scrapes up and down against the bricks in agreement or maybe want, before he moves after that second thrust. Then he makes it brutal.

Joel is fucking you like it's his last day on earth. In reality, it could be. It could be yours. This life is unpredictable. Your cheek is getting scratched up with every deep thrust inside of you but you don't give a fuck. You moan, loud enough for passersby to hear, his cock making you dizzy with every thrust inside of you.

Joel tightens his grip on your hair and yanks it back. “Shut up, do you want everyone to hear?” He hisses in your ear. “Want people to come see me fuck you like the a whore? In a dirty alley?”

You cry out, both from his words and his roughness. "Fuck. I- it just - you feel so good." You pant, knowing your hard exterior has crumbled within minutes because of how good he feels inside of you. He's fucking long, spearing deep to push against your cervix with every thrust and you are shaking against the wall, barely standing up.

Joel growls, hating that you feel so fucking good but he loves the way you are taking him. Absorbing every harsh thrust as the slaps of his hips against your ass seemingly echoes down the alley. “I could do it.” He snarls, fingers nearly white knuckled in your hair. “Right now. Fill your cunt up and ruin you for your little studs.” He wouldn’t. He won’t, not with the world like this. He would never have another kid while survival is shit.

You know he won’t do it but the thought has you close to climaxing. Imagining the look on your father’s face when you take home Joel and announce that he had knocked you up. “Fuck, my dad would hate you.” You giggle breathlessly, reaching behind you to grip his denim shirt, his fingers still gripping your hair. “Fuck Joel, I- I’m gonna cum.” You pant out and he chuckles against your neck.

“Cum for me, kitten. Cum for me and I’ll make sure your daddy curses the day he sent you down here for punishment.” He smirks, enjoying the moment to pretend.

You can’t deny him, clamping down on his cock and biting your lip to smother your scream that would undoubtedly echo down the hall. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” You pant against the bricks.

Joel snarls when your cunt clamps down around him, the hot rush of your juices coating his cock and making it so good. Making his hips stutter and his thrusts uneven as he ramps up his intensity. Giving you another half dozen thrusts before he is ripping free of your body and hot spurts of cum splatter against the wall between your legs and onto the ground, some getting onto your jeans at your knees.

Panting, he immediately lets go of your hair and starts to look over his shoulder at the street as he tucks his cock away. “See you tomorrow, kitten.” Slapping your ass, he steps back, leaving you sagging against the wall with your pants down and his cum painted on the ground.

You pant, body shaking as you try to recover from the intensity of your orgasm, and you turn your head to watch him walk down the alley. Your hands shake as you scramble to pull your jeans up, fingers fumbling as you button them up. He just destroyed you and you know you want him to do it again tomorrow.

Fuck, when did you stop hating Joel Miller?

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller the last of us #hbo the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo #hbo tlou #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou spoilers

644 notes · View notes

hsangel64 · 1 year

Text

。゜✿ฺwhipped✿ฺ゜。

⤷ pairings: dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader (she/her)

⤷ summary: ellie is just so whipped for you everyone knows it except for ellie herself

⤷ warnings: cursing but that’s about it

⤷ a/n: i’m gonna start writing part three for band mates later but i wanted to get some of my other ideas out !

ellie was so incredibly whipped it was insane. she is absolutely head over heals for her girlfriend. she won’t shut up about her and brings her up into every single conversation she has. it’ll be a conversation that doesn’t even involve her and she says.

“hey guys did you know i have a girlfriend?”

“i have a girlfriend did you know that?”

“my girlfriend is amazing…did you know i had one?”

she will literally drop everything for her and would do absolutely anything she asks. with ellie being the dealer to pretty much everyone on campus she made a lot of money. so meaning she will literally get you whatever you want whenever you want it. you even show the slightest interest in something she will go out of her way to buy it and surprise you. she likes to spoil you and she knows you absolutely love it.

the only thing about this is the fact that ellie doesn’t realize how whipped she actually is. you stayed home because you weren’t feeling well while ellie and dina went to this party. ellie was there for strictly business and dina just decided to tag along. originally you were supposed to go like you always do. she liked having you there to basically be eye candy but she also just loved knowing you were with her.

you had gotten some cramps and had realized you had gotten your period. you just didn’t feel the best with the cramps and nausea rolling in with a headache. you simply didn’t want to go out. you told ellie it was okay and you didn’t want her to miss out on money. she was very wary knowing how emotional you usually get during your period and didn’t want to miss a moment where you needed her. you insisted and said you’d text her if anything happened.

so now ellie is sitting here laughing with dina about stupid frat guys not realizing you were at home crying because of dog tik toks and the pain from your cramps. you wanted ellie but you didn’t want to stop her from getting money so you decide not to call her.

this resulted in ellie being a little worried that you hadn’t even texted but tried to think maybe you had just fallen asleep? she texts you just in case to check to see if you were holding up okay.

ellie wellie🥰 hey baby are you holding up okay?

baby 🫶💞 hi i’m okay

ellie wellie 🥰 are you sure?

baby 🫶💞 mhm :]

ellie knew you better than that so she slipped outside really quick to call you. ring ring…

“hi baby.”

“hi…” you said sadly and then sniffled.

“awee baby what’s wrong? what’s got my sweet girl crying?”

“it’s nothing promise i’m okay.”

“baby it doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“it is nothing i promise.” you replied trying to stifle yourself from letting out another sob.

“my love please just tell me should i leave? cause i’ll leave honey i’ll leave and take care of you.” she assured you as she was already texting dina to close up shop and that she’s ready to go.

“no no cause party’s make the best money i don’t want to stop that.” you could hold it in any longer and let out a small sob after.

“okay pretty girl i’m coming i made enough money i’ll be back home in 10 minutes. i love you sooo much.” you tried to protest but gave up and say i love you back. ellie hung up and headed back inside to grab her stuff and head out.

“is something wrong? you usually never stop selling this early?” dina yelled over the loud music as ellie finished up packing her stuff.

“the girlfriend needs me! i have to go.”

“oh no what happened?”

“she’s on her period!”

there was a small silence between them before dina responded.

“you are so fuckin whipped.” ellie looked over at her a little puzzled and scoffed.

“i am not whipped!”

“yes you are idiot!” they both made it out to the front and headed to ellie’s car.

“no i am not !”

“okay whatever you say you simp..”

“oh fuck off.” ellie responded and dina let out a laugh. they drove all the way back to campus which wasn’t too far. you all lived in the same dorm building so they both walked back together but ellie still liked to make sure she got back safe since you guys were on separate floors. she always asked dina to text her once she gets into her dorm.

ellie unlocked the door and was greeted with darkness.

“baby?” she called out but didn’t seem to get a response. she walked into your shared bedroom and saw you curled up into a ball sleeping away. she awed quietly. you just looked so cute she had to take a picture. she even has a whole album of sleeping pictures she’s taken of you.

ellie took off her shoes, pants and sweater off which left her in just some boxers and a tank top. she sets her keys down and goes over to you. she scoots you over a little not too much to wake you up. you grumble and turn over to face ellie. she frowns at your dried up tear stained cheeks.

she pulls a piece of your hair back and holds your face rubbing her thumb across your cheek. you look so breathtakingly beautiful even if you look so sad.

“els?” you groggily ask feeling her sudden presence.

“i’m right here my sweet girl.” you slightly open your eyes, slightly feels like there’s weights on your eyes from crying and still being sleepy. ellie leans in and gives you a small kiss on the lips. and you let out a small smile.

“there’s my smiley baby.” you giggled and hid your face in her shoulder.

“stop it.” you said muffled and she pulled you away to look at you.

“absolutely not i will never stop.” you playfully rolled your eyes and laid your head to look at her.

“you look so beautiful baby.” your face gets hot and red.

“thank you.” she smiles at you and starts to play with your hair. your eyes instantly feel heavier and you have the urge to go back to sleep.

“how was the party?”

“it was fine had a good time with dina and made some good money.” she smiled at you seeing how tired you look. it’s so fucking cute.

“that’s nice im glad my love.”

“yeah i was thinking we could go somewhere for dinner tomorrow? like your favorite place…and get nails done….and some shopping….and then come home with candy and snacks and watch your favorite movies…” your head popped up and you sat up quickly.

“really?!?”

“yes of course baby you deserve it.”

“YAY OH MY GOSH!!” you crashed into her and gave her kisses all over her face and stopped at her lips.

“i love you so much els.”

“i love you more my darling girl.” you stared at each other for a little longer and not a second later you both crashed into each other and were making out a little. you both pulled away and just smiled at each other just so in love with one another.

“so are you feeling better now?”

“of course i am silly i’m with you!”

“i love you so much my sweet baby don’t ever forget it i would do anything and everything for you.”

“you’re so whipped els.”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT!”

#joel and ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams fic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #tlou fic

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yoursjaeyun · 2 years

Text

needing you — sim jaeyun.

pairing. jake x fem!reader

wc. 2420+

sypnosis. you met with your ex from two years ago, and when he did, you just couldn’t stop thinking about him. and you needed help with that. luckily, your new boyfriend helped you, and he did what your ex couldn’t do. and you loved him for that.

warnings. smut (minors strictly dni), explicit language, blowjob (him receiving), unprotected sex (both receiving), angst, use of nicknames, mentions of breaking up/ex, crying. please tell me if i need to add more.

featuring. heeseung & chaewon

a/n. my second fic ohmygossshhhh, i cannot believe i finished this in less than 48hrs like help pls 🧍🏻‍♀️ I HAVE A HEADAAAACHHHHEEEE but anything for yall 🥴🫶🏼 alr yall, i actually need a break because i have a presentation coming up and i fr need to study </3 but when i finish doing that, i will definitely bake yall another fic straight the fuck up mwa 😘 actually hoping grammarly be worth it for this fic but anyway, i hope i satisfy yall this time with the ending 🥹 and everything is cute to me, i was giggling and kicking my feet while i was typing everything HAHSHSJJZ anyway i apologise about my last hee fic, because they broke up in this one… OKAY GOODNIGHT YALL. enjoy reading <3333 ( yall better thank me for spoiling yall frfr, okay actually goodfuckingnight. )

please read this fic first to know the storyline between the two, thank you my loves <3

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you decided to go to the club to get some free time for yourself after your recent argument with your boyfriend. it was because he got jealous. no, you got jealous. seeing him with this random girl at a café all dressed up? ‘wow.’ you thought, did you love him too much to the point where he got tired of you? you were tired of all the back-and-forth arguing, and he must be too.

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after ordering a few drinks, someone familiar came up to you. you squinted your eyes, trying to see who it was clearly. “y/n?” he got closer to you, now having a better view of who it was. “heeseung..” it was your ex, lee heeseung. you ended your relationship with him 2 years ago because of ‘personal’ reasons. not reasons,

because he kept leaving you.

“uhm. hi.. ?” he said as he sat down next to you. “hi.” you were nervous, and a little tipsy at the same time. “it’s been a while.” “yes, it has been.” you answered, you didn’t want to give a bad impression in front of him, especially while looking drunk, and depressed. so you quickly wiped your tears trying your best to look okay. “are you alright? apologies if i came unattended.”

“no, no its okay. and i’m doing just fine.. how are you?” your voice shaked, trying not to make eye contact with him. “i’m good.. what are you doing here all alone?” you didn’t want to tell him about your relationship with jake. what if he still didn’t get over you yet? ‘it’s been well over two years, so he must’ve already gotten a new girlfriend, or not’ you thought. “oh, i just came here because.. because i haven’t had drinks in a while.” you fakely smiled.

it was now silent and awfully awkward between the two of you. “y/n, look,” he talked, making you instantly turn your head to him. “i- i’m sorry for what i did, i swear i didn’t mean to-” “heeseung, stop.” you cut him off, knowing that he was going to apologise again the second he called your name. you don’t trust him, you don’t trust his words. he should’ve kept his promise last time.

“i don’t want you apologising to me anymore. it’s over right? and you should be over it too.”

“y/n, wait.” you took your purse and walked out, tears pooling in your eyes, not saying a word back to him.

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you slammed your car door as you rested your head on the steering wheel. you jumped when you heard your phone ringing, then seeing your friend’s name on the screen.

“chaewon..” your voice croaked as you answered the call.

“y/n? why do you sound off? are you okay? what happened?”

“nothing happened, i’m okay.”

“tell me.”

“its heeseung. i met him a few minutes ago. but i’m fine, don’t worry.” you assured her.

“what the fuck did that bastard do to you?! where are you? i’m on my way.”

“chae, it’s okay. he didn’t do anything. i’m fine and you don’t have to come, i’m going home anyway.”

you heard your friend sigh through the phone, you obviously needed her comfort. but you needed to sort things out with your boyfriend first without getting her or even anyone involved in your fucked up situation.

“y/n, i’ll leave you alone this time, but call me if you need anything, okay? be safe, i love you.”

“i will, and i love you too.” you then hung up the phone, looking at the time. it was already 10:42 PM, and you were exhausted but you still needed to get everything over and done with. you sighed before turning on the car engine and went on the way back to your apartment.

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you took out your apartment keys and unlocked the door, feeling the cold breeze from the ac that was on making you feel more relaxed. and seeing your boyfriend on the couch.

“y/n, you’re crying. what happened?” he walked up to you worriedly, noticing your red puffy eyes. “i’m fine.” you said, taking off your heels and started walking to your shared room, but you were stopped by a tug on your wrist.

“talk to me, y/n.” you tried your best not to cry in front of him, but it was too late. you already broke down in tears. jake quickly pulled you into his embrace, letting you sob on his chest.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry if i overreacted yesterday, i- i’m sorry-” you were cut off by jake’s sudden kiss. god, you missed his soft lips more than anything. you felt guilty, you felt guilty for not listening to him yesterday. one of your bad habits is most likely jealousy, and you hated it getting to you. you were way too head over heels for him, and you still are.

at the same time, you didn’t want to tell him about heeseung and what happened earlier or in the past, you didn’t want to let jake down by talking about your ex right in front of him.

jake knew how much you were struggling the past few days, and hes trying to make it better. but he can’t seem to, because he thinks he’s pushing you too much. but you’re the one who’s pushing him. “stop apologising, it’s okay.” he let out a small laugh after he pulled away from the kiss, then cupping your face in his hands, staring at the pool of tears in your eyes dropping down onto your cheek

“it’s not, jake.. i’ve pushed you away too much, a- and-” “y/n, stop. no, you haven’t. i’m not going anywhere besides just being with you and you only, don’t worry.” he reassured you as he wiped your tears with his thumb, then placing a kiss on your forehead as he pulls you in closer for another hug. he continuously strokes your hair, and it made you calm down a little bit. you realised you were lucky to have someone like your boyfriend, you’re the opposite of him but he practically knows everything about you, which makes everything better so he can be more aware of your personal space.

“are you okay now?” he asked, pushing away the strands of hair from your face. you nodded, sniffing after, still holding onto his waist. your eyes were still puffy from all the crying, and you needed rest,

but what you needed the most right now, is him.

“it’s late, do you want to take a shower first? i’ll wait for you in the bedroom.” he was gonna get you a towel, but you stopped him by pulling his wrist. “i need you, jake..” his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you said that.

“make love to me.”

“i don’t want to hurt you even more, baby. your tired, not right now, okay?” he said caressing your face. "you won’t, and i’m not tired. please?” you begged, you lied about not being tired, but you were dreadfully desperate for him.

“y/n-” he was cut off when you pulled him into a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as his wrapped around your waist, deepening the kiss more and more. “bedroom, now.” you mumbled against his lips, you both walked towards the bedroom, still kissing. you gasped when your back hit the door, jake held onto you, preventing you from falling as he opened the door with his hand that was behind you.

jake plopped you on the corner of the bed, he quickly took his shirt off and threw it to the side, giving you a direct view of his abs. he continued to hover and kiss you passionately while his hands were on both sides of your head.

your hands roamed everywhere on his smooth skin, making you want to take your clothes off as well. fortunately, jake read your mind. his hand went to unbutton your silk, ivory collared blouse. then going behind your back to unclasp your bra, your mouth fell open from the pleasure as he started to kiss down your neck, placing opened-mouth kisses.

he reaches your breasts, and places kitten licks on your bud to tease you, making you whimper. finally, he closed his mouth onto your boob while he plays with the other. although, he did keep teasing you which made you annoyed, but in a good way. you loved his teasing.

you pulled him up and kissed him again lustfully. then rolling him over, making you the one hovering him. you pulled away from the kiss, earning a loud smack from it, you quickly stood up to take off your work pants, now revealing your black-laced underwear, giving him a show. “fuck. you make me go crazy, princess.” he whispered, smirking while biting his lower lip.

in the meantime, jake pulled himself up to meet the headboard of the bed, catching his breath, his lips were now swollen from all the kissing. he then spreads his legs out, as he waits for you.

you then crawl towards him, now in between his legs, firstly giving him wet kisses on his stomach, going your way down to his bulge. you slowly undid his pants, along with his boxers in one move. his cock sprung out, hitting his abdomen. it was blushing red and leaking pre-cum, waiting for you. and so, you took it in your hands, eliciting a low groan from his mouth.

you stroked his hardened cock a few times before teasing him with kitten licks on his tip. he threw his head back, as he gripped onto the sheets. you took his dick in one go, now bobbing your head up and down, sucking him in all the right places.

“fuck.” he muttered under his breath, he then grabbed the back of your head, helping you go faster. he let out a shaky breath as you picked up the pace, making sloppy sounds while taking him all in. you put your hand on the base of his dick, stroking it up and down, synchronising with your head while still sucking, making you gag.

“y/n, i- i’m close. fuck.” you went slow this time, waiting for him to reach his high.

“swallow.” he demanded. in an instant, his hot cum filled up your mouth, you obeyed his words, and swallowed it in one go. “good girl.” jake pulled you up, now straddling his lap, he connected his lips onto yours again, tasting himself from the leftover cum that was left on the corner of your lips.

“are you sure you want to do this?” he asked as he stared at your eyes, pulling away from the kiss. you pushed away his sweaty locks from his forehead being hesitant for a little bit. you love jake, very much. so much. and you do want to do this, so bad.

“yes. i’m sure, jake. i want you, so bad.” he smiled at your words before attaching his lips onto yours again, his arms swathed around your waist, as yours were on his shoulders. your hands ran through his fluffy, black hair making him hum into your mouth.

he tugged at your underwear indicating that he wants it off, you immediately lifted yourself up for him to slide it off with ease. your soaked hole now aligning with his cock, you pumped it a couple of times before slowly putting it in. “jakey.. fuck.” you mumbled, you swore you felt his dick twitch in you as you called him that nickname.

“come here.” he pulled you in, hugging you by your waist to help you move. “we’ll go slow this time, okay?” you nodded as he placed soft kisses on your shoulder ensuring that he won’t try to hurt you.

you dug your nails into the back of his neck as you started to rock your hips back and forth, throwing your head back from the immense pleasure. “so fucking tight on me, fuck.” he muttered, before letting his mouth fall open from how good you felt around him.

he hugged you tighter as you picked up the pace, making him moan even more. he places opened-mouth kisses on your breasts, sucking your bud before they become swollen. you held onto the headboard behind him balancing yourself as you become weaker, he then placed more on your chest, giving you hickeys on every spot.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you rode him faster, both of you getting close. “cum in me.” you whispered against his ear as he was just about to pull out of you. the room was filled with your moans as you felt his cum painting your velvety walls.

you let your entire body drop onto his chest, you had no strength left to lift yourself up from him as he was still inside you. he stroked your hair, then intertwined his hands into yours, placing a small kiss on your knuckles. he lifted your head, staring at your hazy eyes from how tired you were. you still felt his cum mixed with yours running down your thighs, too exhausted to open your eyes to stare at him back, instead, you just smiled.

he chuckles softly at how cute you were. he slowly pulls out of you, grabbing a tissue to wipe under your thighs. he then carried you bridal style to the bathroom, placing you on the counter as you were still leaning on him, too worn out to do anything else. he grabs his clean white t-shirt to put on you, along with clean panties, helping you put it on.

he carried you back into the room, carefully placing you on the bed. jake gets on the bed with you as well, tucking you in as he lays behind you, arms wrapping your waist. you turned around to face his body to be more comfortable in his embrace, you snuggle your head under his chin, putting your arm on his chest, now dozing off, feeling the warmth of his touch as he massages your back, gently patting your head as well.

“i love you, so, so much, y/n,” you finally felt safe in his arms, all you were thinking about now, was how you were lucky to have been chosen by him. you wanted nothing but to wish to stay with him forever starting from now. “and i’m never, going to leave you.” he whispers, dozing off with you as well.

“i love you too, jakey.”

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#jake smut #jake x reader #enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #sim jaeyun #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #sim jaeyun smut

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