#please i need you to understand the incredible acoustics in that building

[chaos-and-recover]

[a-duck-with-a-book]

REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

[chrwrites]

Take Me As You Please - Chapter 1

When Marinette’s worse dream comes true, she does everything she can to let her feelings for Adrien go, and Luka only wants to be there for her – that’s what friends are for, right?

A lot of feelings can happen in one summer.

read on ao3

Luka loved summer. Paris was less chaotic since most people were away for the holidays, the usually crowded streets were empty and this allowed him to enjoy his city more than he already did. Everything was quieter but more colourful, the world seemed to flourish around him and he allowed himself to fully absorb that energy. Summer meant warm sunny days, and the way the breeze brushed his skin and ruffled his hair inspired new songs, now that school was over he finally had time to focus only on his music. Summer was a chance to recharge before going back to the ordinary, he could let go of his worries for a moment and take things slow, free his mind. Summer tasted like freedom and sweet juicy fruits, and Luka loved and cherished every moment of it. 

He sat on a couch on the deck of the Liberty, gently strumming his acoustic guitar while he waited for the rest of his bandmates to arrive at band practice. The Liberty welcomed his and Juleka's friends, they spent most of the time hanging out on the houseboat, some playing music, some writing, some drawing. They even managed to bring a table tennis table on board to everyone's delight. At the end of the day they would watch orange and red lights gleam on the Seine, the sun setting on the horizon painting the buildings in a warmer colour, and each sunset was so unique  Luka wanted to capture them through music, but he struggled to find the perfect melody for the incredible arrangement of yellow, pink, red and orange in the sky he was lucky to see almost everyday. Not being able to find the perfect tune for something was more frustrating than he’d admit, he usually got it right at the first try and then he would start composing from there, that was the difficult part. But this time it felt like something was missing. There was only one time when he found difficult to find the perfect tune for something, or rather, someone –

“Luka! The guys haven't arrived yet?" Marinette's voice interrupted his thoughts, he looked up at her direction and smiled. She just got off the gangplank and was walking up to him, she was wearing a white sundress with small cherries printed on it and her dark hair were styled into a side braid. Oh, she was beautiful. And while he admired her, she stumbled on a cable on the floor.

“Woah, careful there” he let out a small chuckle.

“I’m okay, I’m okay!”, she said a little too loudly as she straightened up, tightening the grip on the bag she was holding.  That was his Marinette. Well, not his in that sense¸ he wished she was, but her heart belonged to someone else.

She was the Marinette he learned to know so well during the last two years. The clumsy, sweet and joyful Marinette, the girl he fell in love with, and even though he knew that his feelings weren’t reciprocated, he was happy with being by her side as a friend, and he respected her enough not to push his feelings on her. Why should he, anyway? She was free to love whoever she wanted, even if this meant suffering and crying about it for hours in his arms. He hated seeing her like this, and he wished he could do more for her, and of course he could do more for her. He could be what she needed, he could treat her like she deserved, but it wasn’t him she wanted for that. The only thing he could do for her was being there for her, and that’s exactly what he did. They got close and hung out together, they learned to know each other, she allowed herself to be vulnerable around him and he was happy about that. He gave her the chance to be herself and nothing else, and she was happy with that. That’s the only thing that mattered.

“I brought macarons for everyone” she said, sitting next to him and placing the bag she was holding on the wooden deck “Where are they?”

“Oh, Jules and Rose went to get ice cream, and Ivan and Mylène are arriving at 4:30” he shrugged. They sat in silence as he plucked the strings of his guitar, the same melody he was playing before she arrived filling the air. She was looking at her sundress, gently pulling at its creases to straighten them a little.

“That’s a new one” she commented, a tiny smile forming on her face “I like it”

“It’s not perfect yet” he noted, and set the guitar aside, looking at her. She didn’t look her usual joyful self, her face was serious and her ocean eyes were dull. It seemed like something was torturing her mind.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking directly into her eyes.

Marinette looked away and took a deep breath, she didn’t know where to start, she burdened him with so many of her problems and didn’t want to put more weight on his shoulders. Especially since this time she would’ve reminded him of when she asked him to go on a double date with Adrien and Kagami, the first time she chose Adrien over him, and he let her. Luka accepted it and he didn’t even start to behave differently around her. Marinette felt like she didn’t deserve to be treated so gently, but he did it anyway. He never made her feel wrong for her own feelings, even if he was hurt by them. Luka deserved much better than her crying on his shoulder for her unrequited crush while he felt the same way about her, but time has passed since he confessed his feelings to her, and after that he never made another move. Besides, didn’t he start seeing someone recently? What was his name again? Elliott, right? He had moved on. Marinette met him at band practice once, he was nice and pretty and definitely Luka’s type. Too bad they broke up right before school ended. Marinette was the first person to know, “We weren’t invested enough” was all he said, and she didn’t dare to ask him more about it, she just told him that she was sorry and he stayed at hers, they watched a movie and ordered pizza, just like friends do after a break up. Yes, he must be over her, she could tell him without being afraid to hurt him, it’s not like she has never talked to him about Adrien, anyway.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it” he said, catching her attention.

“Well, it’s just that – she closed her eyes, wincing at the thought of saying it out loud – Adrien and Kagami are dating”. It was awfully real now.

Luka stayed silent for a while, trying to find the right words to say, but he only wanted to hold her and comfort her.

“He texted me today” she continued “he told me she had asked him out. They went on a picnic at the park and when he walked her home they kissed. And he’s happy he’s finally found someone that fully understands him. – Luka put his hand on her shoulder – I lied. I told him I was happy for them too. They’re my friends after all, I should be happy for them, but...”

She finally turned to Luka, who was looking at her with so much care and understanding she felt like collapsing.

“I feel so stupid, I’ve spent the last two years trying to create the perfect moment for me to confess my feelings for him and it was useless. I kept making up excuses for my hesitation. I was never brave enough to tell him how I really felt. I kept stuttering and I never took a chance to express myself and I even complained about him considering me just a friend? I didn’t do anything to make him truly understand how I felt! Hell, I’m the one who suggested him to get closer to her in the first place! If I weren’t so insecure, maybe things would have been different. Maybe I des–

“Enough with the negative self-talk” Luka snapped, surprising himself and Marinette for the harsh tone that came out of his mouth. He sighed, looking at her in the eyes and getting closer to her. If it weren’t for the helpless and sad look on Marinette’s face he would've found this whole situation pretty ironic. Actually, he could see the irony in the situation. He was comforting the girl he was in love with because her crush unknowingly shattered her heart. The universe must’ve been laughing at him.

“Sorry” he whispered “I hate it when you put yourself down, you should be kinder to yourself”.

Marinette looked down and stayed silent. If she opened his mouth Luka would’ve scolded her again for being too hard on herself.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Luka asked, his voice softer than ever. Marinette nodded helplessly and looked at him.

“I think that everyone could see that you were head over heels for him, and he was completely oblivious because he was fine with having you as a friend, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for this. I think that even if you have never been direct with your feelings, he could've understood how you felt. You behaved differently around him and he never noticed nor questioned it”. Marinette gazed at him, nodding hesitantly “Y-You’re right, maybe I should just try to let this go. I mean, when I talk to him as a friend I don’t get flustered that easily, it’s easier for me to be with him, I’m not afraid that something might go wrong. I care about him, but I have to face the fact that Kagami is the perfect match for him. They have a similar background and their parents work together. She’s smart and determined and everything I’m not, I understand why he’s fallen for her. I’m just –

“Marinette” Luka interrupted her with a glare before she could say anything more and made her face him. His eyes were fixed into hers and he cupped her face in his hands. Their faces were way too close and Luka could feel his heart beat faster for a moment. Concentrate, Luka. You're supposed to be there for her.

“You’re the most extraordinary girl, Marinette”. Clear as a musical note and as sincere as a melody. You’re the music that’s been playing inside my head since the day we first met. He wished he could say it again, just to remind her how much she meant to him. “Whoever doesn’t see it is an idiot and you don’t deserve to feel bad about yourself because of them. I understand that now you feel hopeless, and you have every right to feel everything you’re feeling, but I don’t want you to feel like you deserve nothing. You deserve to feel loved and wanted, and you too deserve someone who cares about you enough to understand how you’re feeling even when you don’t say it and to be there for you.” Someone like me.

“Thank you, Luka. I – Marinette’s breath hitched, she was trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, he gently brushed his thumb over her cheek and he wished he could take away all of her pain, he wished he could help her heal but the only thing he could do was hug her and try to ease her pain. Marinette held on his t-shirt and let out a small sigh, which turned into a soft sob and in the end she was crying on his shoulder, shaking and sobbing harder.

She let herself fall this time, and he was there to catch her, again.

One of his hands was lightly rubbing her back to comfort her, she let out all the sadness and stress she kept holding back, and when she calmed down, she whispered a faint thank you as he kept holding her close. He didn’t know how long they stayed like in that position; time seemed to have stopped for Luka.

It wasn’t until they heard Juleka and Rose giggle as they walked on the boat hand in hand that he reluctantly let Marinette go. Juleka gave him a knowing look “Aw, isn’t Luka a great cuddler” she commented while Rose by her side squealed in happiness. Marinette straightened up on the couch and looked at him. Her eyes were slightly puffy from all that crying but they had a bit of her usual brightness back and her cheeks had turned into an adorable shade of pink. He gave her a reassuring smile, he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, and glared at his sister while he put his arms behind his head, relaxing and changing the subject.

“Have you heard from Ivan?” he asked “He and Mylène should be here by now and I really wanna start playing”. Juleka looked at her phone, “He’s looking for a place to park his scooter, they’ll be here soon” and just as she said it, the drummer and his girlfriend got on board.

“Ah, finally!” Luka waved at the couple as they were welcomed by the rest of the band, and before going to get his electric guitar he turned to Marinette “We don’t usually take requests, but do you wanna hear us play something in particular?” Just for you?

Juleka shook her head but he ignored her and looked at the rest of the band. “We said we would've practiced new songs to cover, why not let Marinette choose for us?” he continued, that was the perfect excuse.

Marinette thought about it for a moment and then a sly grin appeared on her face “I want Taylor Swift” she announced.

“That’s why we don’t take requests” Ivan looked at her amused, and Luka couldn’t help but feign shock. “Marinette, we are rockers, what makes you think we would ever play crappy pop? I feel insulted” he put a hand on his heart in a dramatic pose and she let out a laugh “I’m sorry, I just thought you could handle a bit of change”.

“Of course we can, don’t’ underestimate us”

“I would never”

“So Taylor Swift it is, then” he took is phone from his pocket to look for the tabs he needed. He wasn’t going to play Marinette songs about high heels and sneakers or teardrops on guitars, no sad songs about heartbreak and comparing yourself to others. He tried to ignore the fact that he could relate to You Belong With Me pretty well. Luka considered singing about heartbreaks being national anthems but opted against it, he wanted something cheerful and carefree, not something that could make Marinette think about what pained her in any way. When he found the perfect song, he made the rest of the band look at the tabs for their instruments and they discussed the changes they would make for them to own the song and it not being just a casual cover, who knows, if it went well they could’ve even considered to play it live.

They got to the stage, and Ivan started banging on his drumkit. Juleka and Luka followed soon after, the sound of the bass and the guitar matching perfectly the rhythm given by the drums, every note came together to form the happy and upbeat tone of the original song, but with a heavier, guitar-driven sound.

“I stay out too late, got nothin' in my brain that's what people say” Rose’s deep voice joined them and Marinette smiled as she mouthed the lyrics back at the band, she looked like she was having fun too. Luka smiled to himself and then followed Rose’s singing “It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin' it's gonna be alright” and they continued playing the happy beat they created for the song. It was a fun song to play and they had been able to adapt it to their genre pretty easily. Rose let Luka take over the bridge of the song when he met Marinette’s eyes while she was pointing at him, “and to the fella over there with the hella good hair won't you come on over, baby?”  he sang as he felt an unfamiliar warmth creeping up his face “We can shake, shake, shake” he continued, trying to keep his voice steady as he sung. She was just having fun with them and their eyes met. He couldn’t read into it something more, he really couldn’t. On the other hand, he felt a new melody forming in his heart and he let it flow through is fingers, the new joyful tune filled the song and he continued playing until their performance was over. The melody ended with the two-people audience applauding and cheering on them.

“I like what you did there” Ivan looked at him amazed and Luka ran a hand through his hair, trying to shake off the electric feeling that was running through his veins. Rose was delighted and clapped her hands as well “That was fun!”, Juleka smiled fondly at her enthusiasm. 

“It was amazing!” Marinette roared happily, Luka felt that her heart was lighter than before and he smiled to himself, glad to have accomplished his main goal.

“Thank you” was all he could say in the microphone, even if he felt the same heat from before forming on his face.

He turned to the rest of the band and they started to discuss what to play next. They had a gig in the upcoming week and it was the first time they could play a whole hour-long set, but they had yet to decide the setlist so there was still some work to do if they wanted it to be perfect.

The group went back to practicing and Marinette took out her sketchbook to start drawing on a blank page, she felt better than the emotional mess she was in Luka’s arms but she couldn’t help but feel that something was wrong. She knew a heartache couldn’t be cured so easily, but a happy song and warm hugs had really helped.

Marinette had just finished sketching the croquis of her design when her phone vibrated, she decided not to check any message, she really didn’t want to think again about something that could crush her, it was better for her to keep it in the back of her mind. She continued drawing while she let the music her friends played comfort her “Candy-coat your problems if they’re bitter and they’re awful I won’t let this be a sad song or make this hard to swallow” they sang. Mylène complemented the dress she was creating, and she felt a tiny bit of satisfaction spark in her. It wasn’t until she heard her phone vibrate as someone called that Marinette reluctantly put her sketchbook aside and took it out. Alya’s name lit up the screen but she didn’t really feel like answering. Besides, Kitty Section were practising, and she wouldn’t have heard her through the phone. She declined the call and then decided to check the notifications she got; they were all text messages from Alya.

Marinette, how are you?

I just spoke to Nino and I really need to talk to you

It’s important

Marinette?

Please answer me

Marinette sighed, her heart started to feel heavy again and even though she was glad to see that her friend cared about her, she wasn’t ready to have that conversation again.

I can’t talk right now, but I know what you want to talk about

Adrien told me

I’m fine, thanks for checking in

I’m so sorry Mari, can I come over later?

I’m here for you

Thank you Alya, it really means a lot to me

I’d rather to see you tomorrow

Is that okay for you?

The truth was that all she wanted to do as soon as she got home was cry her heart out until she fell asleep hugging the pillow.

Yeah sure, take your time

You know where to find me!

Marinette closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to recollect herself. She put away her phone and went back to working on her sketch. She added a few details to the design before the band decided it was time to take a break. Mylène got up and sat on Ivan’s lap, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. Marinette felt something sting in her heart and tried to ignore it. She wished she had a love so sweet too, but all her hopes and dreams about love were shattered that same day.

Juleka and Rose sat on two deckchairs next to each other while Luka went below deck to get something to drink for everyone. He came upstairs with a jug of fresh lemonade and glasses, set them on the small coffee table in front of where Marinette was, and went to sit next to her. She reached for the bag and placed the macaron box she brought at the centre of the table. They all took a sweet, and Marinette sipped her drink quietly as he listened to her friends talking about the upcoming gig.

“Did you make any new design?” Luka turned to her and she put her glass on the coffee table.

“Yeah, but I’m not fully satisfied with the idea honestly” she sighed

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think, can I see it?” Marinette nodded and flickered through the pages of her sketchbook, showing Luka the design she was working on. He got closer to her to have a better look at it.

“It’s really good, Mari!” Luka admired the unfinished sketch and then looked up at her “It’s gonna be even better when you finish it!”.

Marinette blushed at his comment, Luka had always been supportive of her and always motivated her to do better, he also helped her to find the motivation she needed when she was stuck in a project and couldn’t find any inspiration. “Thank you, Luka. If it wasn’t for you I would’ve probably thrown away half of the designs in this sketchbook”.

He closed the sketchbook handing it to her with a soft expression “You should give yourself a little more credit, Mari”. She took the book and put it on her lap, studying the decorations she drew on the cover. A small ladybug and an intricate flower design. Maybe he was right, he was looking at her with so much admiration she felt her cheeks heat up. Luka tried to contain a smile as he noticed her blush, and put a hand on her shoulder. He really hated the fact that she thought so little of herself, if she could see herself through his eyes, she would’ve completely changed her mind. This wasn’t because Luka’s vision of her was rose-coloured, she was actually really talented, and kind, and smart, and caring… He fell for her for so many reasons. He wrote songs about her for so many reasons.

“What do you think, Lukey?” Juleka’s voice made him get out of his thoughts. Everyone was staring at him.

“Uh- sorry, I got distracted. What were you saying?” his sister rolled her eyes, her expression screaming that he was embarrassing, and Rose, who was a hopeless romantic and never lost a chance to remind Luka how he and Marinette would be the perfect couple, let out a small laugh.

“I was saying that we should just perform our original songs at the concert” she said, exasperated.

He thought about if for a moment, moving the hand that was on Marinette’s shoulder under his chin.

“You’re forgetting that not everyone will know us or our songs, a cover could lift up the mood. We just have to find the right song” ha answered. “I like Pâquerette. We could do Shake It Off, too. It’s funnier to play, but we’d have to practice it a little more”.

Ivan agreed but suggested to cover Ain’t It Fun. “Oh, I love that one! It’s closer to our genre, too!” Rose added.

“Yeah, we can do that” Juleka said.

“So we’re playing Ain’t It Fun, perfect” Luka concluded.

When the rest of the band got up to go back to their instruments, Luka turned to Marinette “Oh, I almost forgot. I need to ask you something”.

“Yeah?” the girl said a little too loudly, a whole range of possible negative outcomes forming in her mind. Did she do anything wrong? Please, don’t make today worse than it already is.

“How do you feel about taking commissions from someone who’s not us?”

Marinette let out a sigh of relief, she wasn’t expecting a simple question like this. “I think I can handle that” she smiled at him.

“Great! Because I might’ve praised your skills to my friend” Luka could see her slightly blush again, he was growing really fond of it “and she asked me if you would be willing to help her band with designing. They need a complete rebrand actually since – well, she’ll explain that to you, we’re playing with her band next week, and if you come you can talk to her in person, otherwise I can give you her Instagram username so you can contact her when you feel like it”.

Marinette was surprised at his thoughtfulness, considering her needs and boundaries before she even stated them. He has always been like this, gentle and respectful, but people like him were so rare to find that she found it difficult to believe he was real.

“Yeah, I’ll do it!” she beamed, excited to start a new project and concentrate on something else, maybe that would’ve helped with the whole not-thinking-about-it thing. The only thought she couldn’t control in that moment creeped from the back of her mind. What if they don’t like my work? What if I don’t understand them?

Luka seemed to have read her mind when he put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly “Marinette, I already showed her your site and she loved your work. And when I told her you designed Jagged Stone's album cover she lost it, it’s her favourite album, you know?” he giggled at the memory of his best friend freaking out about the fact that his crush worked for THE JAGGED STONE, and he didn’t consider telling her?!?!

“You’re gonna do an amazing job as always, and if you have any trouble working with her you can talk to me”.

Marinette didn’t seem so sure about it, but nodded at him slowly, grateful for his support. He squeezed her shoulder delicately and gave her a wink before going back to the stage.

Marinette relaxed on the couch and closed her eyes, the breeze tickled her skin as the music her friends were playing soothed her mind. She wanted to hold on that feeling for as long as she could, she could deal with the bad stuff later. Besides, she dealt with worse, didn’t she? What was heartbreak compared to saving Paris from evil forces, keeping her superhero identity a secret or being the Guardian of the Miraculous? It was nothing really, nothing.

If she kept repeating it she would’ve believed it eventually.

 The air got colder as the sun set, and Luka was playing the same melody he was playing when Marinette arrived. The golden light shined on him as he looked so lost in the sweet tune. He had his eyes closed, like the rest of the world around him didn’t exist. It was just him, his guitar, and whatever inspired him. He continued strumming as the rest of Kitty Section put away their instruments and Marinette gathered her art supplies and placed them in her bag. It was only when it was time for everyone to leave that Luka put away his guitar and went to say goodbye to Ivan and Mylène “See you tomorrow!” he waved.

Rose was staying for dinner, and Luka asked Marinette if she wanted to stay too, to which she kindly refused “My parents must be waiting for me already”.

“Want me to walk you home, then?” Luka suggested.

“No, thanks” she shook her head, her heart got heavier as the sun vanished in the horizon.

“Are you sure?” he could see a hint of dismal behind her eyes and he didn’t want to let her go like this. He got closer to her and whispered something only she could hear “You don’t have to do this alone, you know”, the pain in her eyes was starting to hurt him too, Luka needed to take it away from her. He hugged her tight, she stiffened at the sudden gesture, but she relaxed into his arms hugging him back. He distanced himself from her and looked at her in the eyes, he couldn’t bear not seeing the usual brightness that inspired so many songs, he needed to do something to help her heal.

And he kissed her. He kissed her with all the love and sweetness he had reserved just for her. It was soft, healing and regenerating, the kind of kiss that would’ve soothed even the worst wounds. When she pulled away and gave him a small smile he was tempted to give in to her lips again, just to make sure she was alright…

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry” and with that, he realized that he was imagining this again, what an idiot. Be glad you respect her too much not to do this. Wouldn’t take advantage of her being vulnerable, would you? Idiot. Suddenly, he was aware of his surroundings, looked at the girl who was still wrapped in his arms and let her go reluctantly.

Luka cleared his throat before speaking “Text me when you get home, okay?”. Marinette nodded, and with that she was gone, he watched her walk away.

“You’re embarrassing” was all Luka heard from Juleka.

“No, he’s just in love…” Rose chirped and let out a small laugh, tugging her girlfriend’s hand and leading her below deck.

Luka didn’t eat much; he was too busy thinking about Marinette and how he really needed to do something to comfort her, but what? He would’ve never crossed her boundaries, not without her permission. He was fine with having her close as a friend, after all. It was safer, this way he couldn’t risk losing her. But at the same time he knew he could do better for her as something else… He left his sister and her girlfriend at the dining table and headed to his room, took his notepad and started scribbling new rhymes that matched the melody forming inside his head.

“Why do you have to make everything sound so dark?” Rose commented when he asked her opinion on the new lyrics he’d written. She was pointing at a verse that recited I feel dead and a half but you’re making me laugh.

“I like it” was Juleka’s only defence for him “you aren’t planning on serenading Marinette, are you?”

“What?! No, it’s just… I had to let this off my chest, that’s all” did Luka really want to tell her sister that he was going to send the song to her as soon as it was done? No, he would’ve kept the lyrics to himself anyway so it wasn’t that big of a deal. He cared more about the melody, that was meant to comfort her.

Rose helped him fix some parts of the lyrics and sent him back to his room so he could work on the melody.

Chapter 2

[shinidamachu]

Neighbor Crush (The Thread)

Summary: modern AU, anyone? This was heavily inspired by a twitter thread I read a while ago, about a guy who developed a major crush on his neighbor’s voice and, with his roommate’s help, managed to ask him out.

Word Count: 2.015  Genre: fluff  Fandom: InuYasha  Pairing: Inukag  Format: oneshot  AO3 Link: 🌹  Fanfic.Net Link: 🌹

“I’m home!”

The abrupt sound of Miroku throwing his keys and briefcase at the table made InuYasha jump on his sit. It was a rare thing to do, taking him by surprise that way.

Unfortunately, Miroku knew so.

“You’re eavesdropping her again, aren’t you?”

It was hard to say what pissed InuYasha off the most: that Miroku had startled him, that he got caught in the act or the infuriating smugness in the bastard’s tone.

“Mind ya business.”

Ignoring his temper, Miroku went to their refrigerator and returned with a loosened tie and a couple of beers. He handed one to InuYasha and sat beside him on the couch.

“Come on, this is getting ridiculous. You have been obsessing over this girl for what? Three weeks, now? Just go downstairs, knock on her door and ask her out.”

Miroku took a long sip of his Heineken, as if rewarding himself for giving the world’s greatest advice. InuYasha wished he would choke on it.

“I’m not knocking on her door and asking her out, dipshit! We have no idea what the girl looks like!”

“Then do us both a favor and go find out!”

To be totally honest, her appearance was what mattered the least about this girl, although he couldn’t deny his curiosity.

Her voice.

It was her voice that started it all.

For two years he had been sharing this little apartment with Miroku and for two years it had been easy for them to ignore each resident of the building without a second thought. InuYasha was in no way a social guy and even though Miroku had a weak spot for the ladies, he had vowed not to get involved with a neighbor, ever.

“Location, location, location.” InuYasha remembered Miroku explaining once. “It’s simultaneously the best pro and the worst con. I’d rather not risk it, it could get pretty ugly.”

Knowing his tendency to hit and run, it was probably the smartest call.

And life went on as usual.

Until InuYasha heard her voice.

It was exceptionally loud. That was the very first thing he noticed. The second thing was that he incredibly didn’t mind at all. There was a sincerity tone to it that was ever present. Almost as if physically unable to lie. Sweet. Gentle. Smooth. But not in a generic way. He could download it into his GPS and drive forever. Her laughter had over him the same effect of sunbeams reaching out the untouched ground of a frozen forest and when she talks too low, something primal and urgent wakes inside him, letting him dying to know what his name would sound like between her whispers.

Then it became less about how and more about what she talked.

Her name was Kagome. She was in her twenties and had just graduated from pedagogy school. Three weeks ago, she had moved in with the girl who lived precisely in the apartment below theirs to save money as she adapted to the new job of substitute teacher. She had a cat named Buyo, couldn’t swear for the life of her, sang a lot, a bit clumsy, definitely a half full kind of person... Single, as far as he could tell.

Kagome had the most hilarious stories, most of them starring her little brother, her grandpa or her friends. He was especially fond of the ones in which she tried to be nice and it ended up blowing on her face spectacularly. Her heart was too big for her own good.

On the floor below, the girl in question left what InuYasha assumed was her kitchen and walked to the living room, turning the TV on. Even now, when the current conversation was supposed to be his focus, he found himself painfully aware of her moviments.

Miroku didn’t have to know any of that.

“That’s insane.”

“Why? How is that insane?”

“Hi, I’m InuYasha, your upstairs neighbor. You don’t know me, but I’ve been listening to everything you say or sing in your apartment since the day you moved in. Often on purpose, like a creepy person. Anyway, wanna have dinner sometime?”

“Lose the ‘creepy’ part and you’ll be fine.”

“Drop it, it ain’t happening.”

“Well, at least you recognize your obsession. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recover.”

“You’re my problem,” he mumbled.

“Wrong, my friend. I’m the solution. You just gotta listen to me.”

“Yeah, don’t count on it.” Miroku laughed. “So how was work?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Damn straight I am.”

They made small talk and drank for a while, then Miroku pulled out his phone to check his notifications and InuYasha searched Netflix for an action movie they haven’t seen yet. The girl was binge-watching a sitcom. A good one, judging by the way her laughter reached his ears every now and then.

He smiled.

In moments like these, it was crazy tempting to walk down the stairs and go for it, but InuYasha wouldn’t dare. He was perfectly fine just hearing her life from a safe distance so they couldn’t hurt each other, because this is what love inevitably leads to — and that was assuming she wouldn’t reject his advances, in the first place.

Might as well save them both some pain.

“So what do you say? Shall we eat ramen for the third time in a row or order some pizza? InuYasha?”

But he wasn’t listening. In the apartment below, a door opened. Her roommate, Sango, had arrived.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” Replied Kagome. “I hope you’re hungry, ‘cause I just made lasagna.”

“And I hope you’re thirsty, ‘cause I just bought Tequila.”

“Tough day, huh?”

“Tough week.”

“Balcony?”

“You bet.”

The girls turned the blender on.

The balcony was their favorite spot to chat. It was also where the acoustic sounded better. To the point even human ears could catch the words.

One look at InuYasha and Miroku realized what it meant.

“Is she going to the balcony?” He asked, but didn’t wait for an answer.

InuYasha ran, intercepting Miroku just in time. One hand securely covering his friend’s mouth, the other holding him still. They were now in their own balcony.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

There was an attempt to speak, but it came off muttered. Even so, InuYasha refused to budge his hand. Until Miroku licked it. “Ugh!”

“What does it look like?” He questioned while InuYasha compulsively wiped his hand on his jeans. “I’m being your wingman.”

“I don’t need a wingman and will you shut up, already?” His whispered, angry. Miroku was ready to deliver a cunning comeback when the blender stopped and the girls stepped into the balcony.

“So I had to break up with Kuranosuke today.”

“Break up? I thought you guys were friends with benefits or whatever.”

“YES! WE WERE! THANK YOU! Now could you please be a lamb and go tell him that? Maybe I didn’t make myself clear the first four hundred times! Oh, stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Go on.”

“It was a nightmare! The whole week he kept sending flowers and Valentine’s Day cards to the precinct. It’s not even february!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t get him arrested.”

“Believe me, I was this close. It’s hard enough getting their respect, you know? Being a female cop and all. He wasn’t helping.”

“I know. But hey! Someday you’ll find the guy for you. Someone who’ll understand how much your job means. I’m serious! You will!”

“Nope. That’s it for me. I’m done with men.”

“Funny, I’m in the opposite vibe.”

“Really? Now that’s interesting.”

“It’s just… I haven’t dated anyone since Koga.”

“Damn, you’re right! I haven’t realized it.”

“You know what? You should set me up with someone.”

Miroku playfully punched InuYasha’s shoulder, getting his attention. “That’s your chance,” he mouthed. The half demon shook his head.

“Hmmm… Wouldn’t Ayumi, Yuka and What’s-Her-Name be a better option for that? I’m usually cuffing most guys I meet.”

“Eri. And no way! They would just set me up with Hojo.”

“Right! And why won’t you date him, again?”

“Because he’s my friend!”

“He is cute.”

“A cute friend.”

“He likes you.”

“Not my fault.”

“Fine. I’ll d—”

“HEY, NEIGHBORS! NEIGHBORS!”

Mortified, InuYasha watched Miroku make a fool of himself. Like in a movie, his body seemed to forget how to react.

“Hi!” Greeted Sango. “I’m sorry. Were we being too loud? We’ll keep it down.”

“No, it’s okay, the walls are really thin. Listen… I have this friend. And he’s really into your friend’s voice. I was wondering if she would be interest in going on a date with him.”

“What?” Kagome let out a shaken giggle.

“Is this for real?”

“Yes! I gotta go, but check his Instagram out. It’s @InuYashaTaisho.”

Apparently very pleased with himself, Miroku walked inside.

“You’re a dead man!”

“What do you think?” Kagome asked, while InuYasha chased Miroku around the apartment.

“It can’t hurt to give a look,” Answered Sango.

“Five years from now, when the two of you get married, you’ll be thanking me for this.” Miroku dodged the pillow InuYasha threw on his direction.

“Don’t ya worry. Imma make sure to write this on your tombstone.”

“Sango!”

“Wha—Wow! This is him? What are you gonna do?”

InuYasha threw another pillow. Miroku caught it in the air. He was cornered on the wall and nothing could save him now.

Bzzt! Bzzzt!

Impertinently, his phone choose that exact minute to vibrate. InuYasha fished it off his back pocket and the notification took his breath away.

Kagome Higurashi started following you.

“Is that her?”

InuYasha ignored him. The only important thing was the dark haired beauty smiling brightly on his screen. Her eyes were big and warm, framed by extremely long black lashes. She had adorable bangs and sharped cheeks. The perfect shape of her lips rivaled those from a greek statue and they seemed to be painted in a natural shade of pink in almost every picture. Except when they were burning red.

He couldn’t have put a better face to the voice if he tried.

Scrolling down her feed, InuYasha continued to connect the features he didn’t know with the names he did. Sango. Her mom. Sota. Buyo. Her grandfather.

“Let me see!” Miroku ran to his side and hang on his shoulder like a parrot, whistling in approval as InuYasha went on. “Woah, wait, wait, wait! Who is that?”

“That’s Sango, the girl you just embarrassed me and yourself in front of.” He followed Kagome back.

“I think I’m in love.”

InuYasha glared at him.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“He followed me back!”

“Oh, it’s going down!” Sango laughed.

“Watch me.” Defied Miroku.

“What the fuck happened to the ‘not dating neighbors’ rule?”

“If four years of law school taught me something was that every rule has its exceptions. In this case, the exception is the absurd level of hotness of said neighbor.”

“On a second thought, go ahead and date her. It’s about time someone put you in jail.”

Miroku smirked.

“Should I say hello?”

“Definitely!” Encouraged Sango. “Don’t schedule anything until I check him for bad precedents, though.”

“You’re such a cop.”

Bzzt! Bzzzt!

Hi!

Hi! I’m sorry about my friend. He thinks ‘boundaries’ is an indie band.

She chuckled.

“Hey!”

“Don’t you have a pizza to order?” InuYasha faced him, eyebrows raised. Miroku narrowed his eyes and left.

“This isn’t over.”

That’s okay. So... you’re a dog demon. I’m assuming this is how you can hear us down here?

Actually I’m half demon, which means I’m only half responsible for invading your privacy. The other half is on you for being so damn loud.

Excuse me?! I thought you liked my loud personality! Wasn’t that the whole point?

To be fair, what I liked was your killer cover of Livin’ On A Prayer.

OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HEARD THAT! Okay. This isn’t fair. You’ve been listening to my voice since I moved in, but I have no idea what yours sound like.

The next text he sent her was his phone number.

A/N: it’s been a while, yes? Tell me if you guys enjoyed this one. Fluff is not really my thing. Let me know if I can interest you in a Part II of them dating and send me sugestions of where they could go, if you want to. If I liked them better than the ideas I have in mind, I might end up writing it (is not a priority, though).

Also, I want to dedicate this piece to @xfangheartx​. Thank you for always being a sweetheart.

[mamaskillerqueen]

Lover || Ben Hardy x Reader

A/N: This is my entry to @borhapparker​’s writing challenge! It’s a bit different from my usual writing but I hope you enjoy it! Word count: 4,800 Warnings: None that I can think of, per se other than, I went super self indulgent, I am sorry. Prompt: Lover by Taylor Swift

The worst thing about all the travelling and long working hours was, by far, the jet lag. Ben would never once complain about his job. He loved what he did, and he knew how incredibly lucky he was to be living this life. That didn’t mean sleepless nights didn’t suck just the same.

Something mindless had been playing on the TV for hours now, the blonde British man sat staring blankly for nearly as long. Despite the sand paper feel of his now dried out eyes, sleep was impossible. The itch for a cigarette was the only reason he found himself rising from the couch and climbing the stairs of his apartment building two by two to the roof.

Smoking in the flat was strictly prohibited. When he first moved in, he was sure that was going to be a deal breaker. It had been temporary anyways, at least that was what he had been hoping. Now it was three years later and he found he quite enjoyed the view the roof gave of his beloved city below. He was curious what it would look like this late, or early, as it was quickly approaching dawn.

And you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I’ll save you a seat

Lover

With a crumbled brow, Ben shoved the roof access door open all the way. The cigarette stand was propping the door open just slightly, and the melody he heard had him completely forgetting his curiosity about the city lights. He’d heard the song a million times but never had he been this impressed. Or intrigued.

The girl holding the guitar had her back to him, her eyes focused out over the exact lights he’d been hoping to enjoy. She was completely oblivious to him. He was completely enamoured by her.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out and take me home

She swayed from side to side as she strummed at the acoustic in her hands, her voice carried beautifully across the open expanse of the roof. Ben wondered silently if he’d passed her a million times and just never noticed. As the song came to a soft end and she began to lean her guitar against the lounge she was seated on, he decided to make himself known.

“That was beautiful,” he uttered as softly as his voice would allow, not wanting to disturb the peace that had settled. Judging by the way she jumped to her feet, he failed.

“Sorry.”

She was beautiful, her face was open and bright even with the faintest bit of fear lingering in her eyes. One of her hands clutched at her chest, but a smile began to turn up her lips.

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice just as beautiful when she wasn’t singing. “And thank you. I didn’t think I’d have an audience this late.”

Remembering why he was up here in the first place, he reached into his front pocket to pull out his pack of cigarettes. When he retrieved them, and his lighter, he showed them to her as he started towards the bay of chairs. The building manager always said it was up here for people to have parties but aside from the one cook out that was going on the day he moved in, he’d never seen it happen.

“Do you have a habit of sitting on rooftops and playing the guitar in the middle of the night?” Ben asked, hoping it sounded like small talk.

“Do you have a habit of smoking on rooftops in the middle of the night?”

He looked up from lighting the smoke to see she held a brow up in questioning. The smirk that took over his face was hard to deny. After taking his first puff he let out a faint chuckle.

“Jet lag, what’s your excuse?”

“Jet lag.”

He nodded his head in understanding, it was hard to miss her accent. She wasn’t from here, so his question was stupid. Hopefully she just assumed he was trying to banter.

“I just moved in. It’s my first day in England. Or, night I guess. I slept so much on the plane I just can’t seem to fall asleep now.”

This he did understand. He hated sleeping on planes because it always messed up his sleeping patterns but sometimes it was inevitable. His answering nod should have been enough, he assumed he disturbed her peace enough but her knee nudged his own. When his eyes met hers she had a brow raised in questioning again, and his face must have crumbled into a question of its own because she laughed.

“What about you?”

He barely heard her question because he was stuck on her laugh. It was even more melodious than her singing.

“Uh. Just, ya know, work. Flew in today, crashed when I got home for a few hours and now I’m here.”

“Well,” she said as she slowly rose to her feet. “Here’s to hoping you can get some sleep.”

He watched in a silent panic as she picked up her guitar and started towards the door. What could he say to make her stay? He’d only just met her and he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Or good night in this case.

“I’m Ben, by the way.”

She had just reached the door and upon hearing him call out she turned back towards him, a radiant smile taking up her features.

“I know who you are.”

He thought she was going to leave him hanging but just as she turned back to the door to pull it open fully she called over her shoulder.

“I’m Y/N. Have a good night, Ben.”

Three years later

“God, Y/N! It’s like you don’t even care!”

This screaming match had been going on for well into an hour now. Neither of them were budging. Ben knew he had solid reason to be upset. For once. This wasn’t just something he could misconstrue. She had completely blown off this meeting that had meant the world to him. They’d been talking about it forever and she chose extra hours at work instead.

Even if she said it couldn’t be helped. He knew better.

Those years ago when he’d met her on that rooftop, he never imagined one day they’d be living together but here they were. If he was honest though, this could very well be the end of them.

She had always been a little bit aloof. Her walls were high and thick. It had taken him forever just to get a small crack into who she really was. He knew that relationships like theirs scared her but she could only live behind that for so long. It was either going to be sink or swim, and he never wanted to swim so badly in his life. The ring that was hidden in his underwear drawer was proof of that.

She huffed, trying desperately to hide the tears that were welling in her eyes. He knew when he said it that it would hit a nerve but sometimes that was the only way to get emotions out of her. It was far from healthy but together they had been working towards being better. Call him crazy but he had been convinced they were doing well.

“How dare you,” she finally said, her voice much softer and quieter than it had been all night.

She was going to walk out. He knew before he even saw her start to move. When things got too hard, she ran. It was the first thing she told him when they first started this relationship. Though, back then he didn’t realise how they’d grow together. Her hand was around the handle of her guitar case before he could even utter her name.

“Y/N, would you wait, please?”

The exasperation in his tone was not going to do him any favours, though it was something he didn’t think he could help at this point. The tears were still brimming in her eyes as she shook her head and yanked the door open.

“No.”

And then, the door fell shut with a heavy clink. It took a while but he found himself sitting on his couch, head in his hands, and one hundred percent sure she wasn’t ever going to come back. She’d send someone to pick up her things, and then she’d run. He had tried to convince himself that she wouldn’t because she’d changed and grown, with him. The nagging feeling wouldn’t go away though.

By the time three hours had passed he allowed himself to grieve, sure that it was all over. He felt bad his neighbours had to deal with their yelling earlier, and when he didn’t feel like his world was caving in he’d apologise. For now though, he was going to need a cigarette.

He’d grabbed the pack off the kitchen counter, and picked up his phone when he noticed a text message from her. In his chest his heart fluttered, whether from excitement and relief or dread and anxiety, he wasn’t sure. When he opened it though he found himself running for the stairs, bounding up them two at a time. Just like those years ago, he found the door slightly cracked open. He pushed it open, and was immediately reminded of how captivating this woman, this woman he was completely and utterly in love with, was.

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I’ve loved you three summers now, but honey, I want em all

He hadn’t heard her sing this song since that night he first met her, and he wanted to believe that was why tears fell down his face. Not the fact that she was saying exactly what he needed to hear. She always did better expressing herself this way. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t the most beautiful and most frustrating thing about her.

She placed the guitar down, much like that first night, and crossed the distances to him. Her hands found his cheeks and her lips found his. The kiss was sweet, simple, guilty, and salty. There were tears sliding down her own face, something that almost never happened.

“I am so sorry.”

The words fell against his lips, the sound of heart break clear to his ears. He felt his own crack at the sound. They’d had spats before but nothing ever like this. When they first started dating they made it a rule to never walk out angry. She’d broken that, but here and now, she was making up for it. Even if it was just a little bit.

“I love you, I need you to know that. I never meant to hurt you like I did. I promise to work on this, if you’ll keep me, that is. You’re the only one I want. Forever.”

Y/N was affectionate in her own way, but it was never like this. Usually it involved buying him a lavish and thoughtful birthday gift, or Holiday gift. Sometimes it was bringing Frankie, the dog she so graciously accepted as her own, for a visit when he’d have a long day on set. Everyday she showed her love for him, but she never voiced it like this. With her in his arms, it was easier to realise that maybe he’d looked over all of that. Maybe he’d jumped to conclusions because he was blinded by what he thought love should look like.

“I know.”

And for now, that was enough.

One year later

Six months. Half a year. It’s the longest Ben’s been away without a visit since he started dating Y/N. Only getting to see her on FaceTime, and only hearing her voice through the crappy speakers of a phone was taking a toll on him. He missed her. What he didn’t know was that she was having just as much of a hard time.

Her birthday was coming up in a few days and he knew he couldn’t miss it. Not that she would have minded if he did, but it was the perfect excuse to head home. He’d gotten his ticket and was patiently waiting in line at the airport to board when he got a FaceTime call from her. She’d be upset but he had to ignore the call. Ben was determined to make this a surprise.

They had barely spoken all day because he was travelling, she thought he was working. At least, that’s what he told her. But, even on set, he’d usually take a quick FaceTime over break. Today, he’d only sent her a short but sweet message.

“I’m sorry, love. I’ve got no downtime today. I love you so much. I’ll call you this evening when I’m done filming.”

Lying was hard but he was thankful that it was just over a text. If she actually spoke to him, she’d have spotted the lie before he even opened his mouth. To this day Ben still couldn’t figure out how she always knew.

When he finally got onto his last flight, the shortest too, he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing. He wasn’t sure if it was excitement or anxiety. The amount of time he’d be home was short but he had so much planned for that time. Big plans. Life changing plans.

He reached into his pocket, pulling the small velvet box from his pocket for the millionth time that day. The ring nestled inside was something he had worked on for quite a while and had stashed in a drawer even longer. Y/N was a peculiar girl, and with very unique taste. The last thing Ben wanted was for her to hate the ring. He hoped it was as perfect to her as he had thought it was.

It was well into the evening when he finally made it home. The original plan had been to get there by dinner but with delays in the airport, a lost piece of luggage (which was found, thankfully), and normal London traffic, that plan went to shit. As he turned the key in the lock, and pushed the door open, he wasn’t surprised to be greeted with darkness.

Ben moved quietly through the flat, reaching their shared room with ease and excitement. Finally, home. Except the bed was empty, and it was then that he realised he hadn’t seen Frankie either. He was glad to see the bed was unkempt, like someone had attempted to sleep there but it didn’t ease the panic that started to set in. There was only one place he could think of that she would have gone if she hadn’t left him, so he dropped his bags and nearly sprinted to the roof.

One day, he’d come up with a good joke about how all their memories were up on this roof.

The site before him could have knocked him over. The tears were evident in her voice as she sang their song. It could have crushed him if he wasn’t so struck by how much more beautiful the song felt with so much emotion to it.

“Y/N?”

His voice clearly startled her, so much like all that time ago when he met her up here. This time though, she was quick to turn around, nearly throwing the guitar onto the patio couch and running towards him. The force at which she jumped into his arms should have knocked them both over but he was prepared for this. What he wasn’t prepared for were the tears that soaked his shirt.

“What is it?”

The panic he had felt down in their room wasn’t helped by finding her like this. It was so unlike her and he hoped that his worst case scenario thinking was wrong. His voice was a soft coo that seemed to slowly relax her, her grip on him loosening just a bit as she pulled her face from his neck to look at him. Even with red rimmed eyes from crying, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Maybe he was a bit biased.

“I just…” she started with a scratchy sounding voice as she rubbed the tears away quickly, “had a bad day and I missed you, and then I called and you ignored it because I assume now that you were on a plane. How dare you ignore me!”

The teasing slap to his shoulder made him wince, despite the fact that it didn’t hurt, even in the slightest.

“It was a surprise, love.”

For some reason, as she rolled her eyes at him with a smile plastered to her face, he felt butterflies erupt in his stomach. This was it. What a more perfect spot to ask her to marry him, than their spot? It wasn’t what he had planned but if he was honest, she wasn’t what he had planned either.

“Can you play for me?”

She nodded her head and jumped down, quickly returning to where she had been moments ago to retrieve her guitar. He took that moment to greet their pup-child before he took a seat in the same spot he did when they first met.

He let her get almost through the entire song, too caught up to even think of interrupting. Her eyes weren’t focused on him but his wouldn’t leave her face, or the way she was strumming the strings. This was a moment he never wanted to forget, and so he was committing every expression to memory.

All’s well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

He dropped to his knee just as her eyes moved to his. That was her favourite line because it apparently reminded her the most of him. Her strumming stopped almost immediately, tears already springing to her eyes as she stuttered on the words she wanted to say.

“What are you doing?”

He couldn’t help the chuckle he gave her in response. Of course she would ask what he was doing, even if it was obvious.

“I had a whole thing planned but… it feels more like us to do this here.”

Even still a bit shell shocked, he saw her nod her head in agreement. It was all the confirmation he needed to reach into his pocket, once again. This time he wasn’t going to be the one looking at the ring.

“Y/N, would you make me the happiest man on the planet and marry me?”

He opened the box and showed her the ring. Her hands came up to her mouth and she stared. She stared so long he started to grow… uncomfortable. He knew she wouldn’t say no but the rooftop wasn’t exactly the smoothest surface to be knelt on one knee for extended periods of time.

“Can you say something? Please?”

But asking her for words was ridiculous. She said nothing as she launched herself back at him, clutching even tighter to him than she had a little bit ago, and this time her lips crashed to his. When they eventually parted, she nodded her head and took the ring from the case to slide onto her finger.

One year later

The white dress trailed behind her, even with a good bit clutched tightly in her fist. She had tossed her heels almost immediately upon entering the reception hall. If he was honest, he was impressed she even bothered with them. It was one of the things she had been adamant about not bending on. Her original plan was to wear her favourite pair of vans

.

As gorgeous as the dress was, and as beautiful as she was in it, the megawatt smile on her face was all he cared about. Planning their wedding and meshing their two very different views on tradition had been a hell of a juggling act. He gave her the props she deserved because it was everything he could have imagined, and more.

The past years with her had changed his life in so many ways, brought so much happiness to his life, and even some sadness. He had been feeling a bit guilty all day about missing some of the planning due to his filming schedule, especially when he picked up on the little things she had set in place specifically for him. As he meandered out onto the dance floor, waiting for her to pull herself away from the friends and family she was excitedly speaking with, he checked with the DJ. The anxiety and guilt quickly washed away with a singular nod.

It was the only thing he was able to do for her. Since they never had a lot of time to plan together, they never discussed their first dance. It had been agreed that they would forego that particular tradition to start something new of their own. Ben had reluctantly agreed only to scheme behind her back with the DJ. The open guitar started, quickly accompanied by the drums and the moment recognition hit her she was spinning in a circle to find him. There was a beat where she just stood there, staring at him. He felt his heart race, and then she was moving.

He caught her in his arms just as tears began to slide down her cheeks. The DJ announced at that moment that this was their first dance and asked everyone to clear the dance floor. She was already mumbling to him though and his focus shifted completely on her, everything else becoming white noise.

“I never thought this song would be so integral in my life.”

Her faintest little chuckle made him smile, even if he was slightly confused as to what she was on about.

And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

“When I played it that night,” she expanded, “it was just a little thing I liked the sound of. Now it’s my whole world.”

There were still tears in her eyes when she looked back up at him. She looked at him as if he’d just hung the moon and the stars just for her. Which, he would if he could.

No. Scratch that. She wasn’t looking at him like that at all. She was looking at him as if he was her whole world.

The words clicked then. The meaning of what she just said, of the tears in her eyes, it just clicked. He was glad they were so close and the moment was so intimate because his eyes started to fill with tears as well. They really did it.

She was his wife.

She was his world.

“No,” he finally spoke, “it’s not your whole world. It’s ours.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You’re my, my, my, my lover

Their lips met and it was so familiar and yet so new all at the same time. Sometimes he wondered how that was possible, but he felt it pretty frequently with her. Their guests cheered and hollered. He could vaguely hear Joe shouting about betrayal. Y/N must have heard it too because she pulled away at that point with a laugh. They hung on tightly to each other until the song was over and shared one more kiss before they went hand in hand to speak with their friends and family.

Fifty years later

The bitter winter cold seeped in through the walls, chilling his tired bones as he shakily made his way to the kitchen. The smell of breakfast had enticed him enough to try and leave his warm bed. It was 2nd January, his birthday. She did this every year since their first spent as a married couple. Fifty years of the biggest breakfast he could manage to eat. He definitely wasn’t complaining. Except for maybe about the cold.

When he took his seat at the kitchen table he was confused though. Propped up against the table was an old, worn, and slightly warped acoustic guitar. That wondrous thing is what brought him and his beloved wife together but it hadn’t been brought out in quite sometime. Speaking of his wife, she was no where to be seen.

“Y/N? Love, where are you?”

He was replied to with a ruckus of shifting… boxes? Faintly he heard her attempt to shout a reply, something that sounded like ‘just a moment’. Ben reached for the guitar, his frail fingers gently gliding over the strings and the neck. The sound masked Y/N coming around the corner and when she chuckled he nearly jumped.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Don’t you joke about that!”

The gentle nudge of his shoulder and the serious look on her face made him utter a quick apology. Her simple nod was the end of it, and then she was sliding into the seat next to him. She placed a book down in front of her, a photo album covered in dust. He knew exactly what it was before she even said anything. “Every mile stone is in here,” she said. “We stopped putting pictures in here a long time ago but, I wanted to add one last one.” His brow scrunched together but she pulled out the oldest Polaroid camera with the biggest smile on her face. He shook his head in disbelief but quiet acceptance. The camera hadn’t seen light of day in nearly as long as the album she was wanting to update, but she set it up where she wanted and did a quick test shot of him. A radiant smile took up her face before she set the timer and sat in his lap. The flash was blinding and before he could stop her she was up and away from him again. He watched in amazement of her as she carefully put the two photos into the album, next to pictures of them much younger. Quietly he wondered how she was even more beautiful now. “You’re staring.”

That was one of her biggest pet peeves and he was always doing it. Annoying her was his number one job these days. At least that was what she always insisted. “Am I not allowed to admire my beautiful wife?”

She scuffed, sliding the album over to him. Clearly she was meaning for him to look at them much younger but he always preferred the real thing to photos. When his eyes still didn’t leave her she rolled her eyes dramatically before rising from her seat to get the guitar.

“This is going to be horrible but it being your birthday and all…”

The guitar wasn’t perfectly in tune, it was far to old to even try anymore, but the song was unmistakable. His heart started to flutter and a smile quickly turned his lips upward. She hadn’t sang to him in quite sometime, having insisted that she couldn’t anymore but he’d catch a little of her singing in the shower from time to time. We could leave the Christmas lights up til January,

This is our place, we make the rules

And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Her voice was a bit raspy, and it broke slightly towards the end of the verse but she kept singing. The guitar sat comfortably in her lap as she swayed with the beat. Suddenly it was fifty-five years earlier and he was stood star struck on his roof in London. So much time had gone by, so much love had been shared but it still felt so new and so familiar. And he was still so star struck.

It wasn’t as perfect as she would have liked but it was perfect to him. Ben has been head over heels in love since the moment he met her and it hadn’t changed one bit since. If it had, it was just deeper and deeper everyday. When she finished singing and placed the guitar back down, he reached over to grab her face in his hands and pull her in for a kiss.

“I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, happy birthday.”

They ate breakfast together that morning, and spent the entire day doing anything Ben wanted. She wasn’t great at celebrating but she was perfect at the gifts she gave. There couldn’t have been a better way to spend his last birthday even if he had tried.

[littleladymab]

this is a belated fic for @justakidfromabadan who provided me with “musical theater!jaskier” college au and i immediately took to it. there will probably be more fics in it, in the future, but please enjoy this little introduction to it

Jaskier books it from the theater lobby as soon as he has the ability to do so. The chatter chases after him, the mounting voices of students tumbling at his heels until the door to the music room slams shut. 

He waits a beat, then two, then heaves a relieved breath as he presses his forehead to the door. 

Audition weekend is always the worst, more so after a particularly successful show. Last semester’s performance was, well… It was probably their best to date. They definitely broke fire code with the amount of people allowed inside for multiple performances.

Which meant that when the call went out across campus that they were looking for cast for this semester’s show, well… 

Jaskier figures that half the college probably showed up. 

With that many people talking over one another, fighting to be heard, in the shitty acoustics of the lobby? Sensory overload time bomb. 

So he books it. 

They won’t need him right away, in any case. The lead role is already technically his (barring someone else who can sing and improvise poetry better than he can and sword fight), and they won’t be doing musical callbacks until next week. He came, he said hello, he left. 

The soundproofing of the music room cast a fuzzy silence around him, and he gives the door a fond pat before pushing himself away. 

The piano behind him is a welcomed sight, and Jaskier makes a small sound as he settles into the bench. His fingers trace over the ivory keys, the hum of anticipation for the first chord chasing away the lingering remnants of anxiety. 

His foot hits the pedal, testing it — though he knows this piano like the back of his own hands. Enjoys the thrum the instrument makes as his foot releases without striking a note. The way the bench creaks as he shifts into a comfortable position. 

And then he begins to play. 

He strokes and strikes the keys with careless precision. He can play this song with his eyes closed, knowing each measure by heart. The lyrics spill out of him, and he finally feels truly at peace in the comfort of the music room. 

It was his favorite song from their previous production. It was the reason he chose that show in the first place. It was a shame he didn’t get the role. (Not through any fault of his own, except perhaps, not insisting on swapping the genders of the characters.)

The song ends, his fingers hovering just over the keys, and his foot on the pedal. The warmth of the lingering chord fills the small room. 

And then someone says, “That was an incredible performance.” 

Jaskier jumps the moment the first syllable is spoken, fingers slamming down discordant on the keys and his foot releasing the pedal with a deep twang. “What?” he asks, then gulps down the jolt of nerves and peers one way around the piano, then the other. “Who—��

A man grunts as he stands upright, and Jaskier stares—attributing his gaping mouth and rabbit-quick pulse to the surprise and absolutely no other reason. The man’s hair is a shock of silver-white, apparently natural or incredibly well-dyed, and he wears an outfit that looks like someone forgot to tell him it wasn’t ‘international dress like a pirate day’. More confusingly, he grips a scabbard in one hand, the intricately designed basket hilt of a rapier glinting in the overhead light. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier says, on the defensive now that his privacy and his deductive reasoning were both thrown out the window. “Did you fall through a time portal and land in the wrong dimension?” 

He gives another grunt, or perhaps this time it’s a snort, and there is the briefest sensation that a smirk is hiding just beneath the perpetual scowl he seems to sport. “No. I was…” He holds up the sword, as if it explains anything. “Practice.” 

Jaskier lets both eyebrows lift and he makes an encouraging gesture with his head that he hopes conveys, and? 

It apparently doesn’t. 

“Practice for what? We haven’t even finished the first round of auditions.” 

This confuses the other man, and Jaskier can practically track the route his brain takes to reach an understanding. The man has incredibly expressive eyebrows. “Sword fighting.” 

Well, he should have honestly expected that. “How does that… bring you here?” Intruding into his safe space. “I spend a lot of time in this building and I’ve never seen you before.” 

The fact that he might just be another one of the multitude of aspirational theater performers doesn’t escape him, but also doesn’t seem to be the truth. 

“Yennefer said that this show would have sword fighting.” The man lifts his rapier again, but Jaskier buries his face in his arms as it clicks into place. Of course Yennefer would be involved in this somehow. “She said to come talk to the directors.” 

“Yeah, alright. Well, you found one.” Jaskier pushes himself back upright and sweeps a hand over his hair, trying to push aside the extremely tired person who just wanted a moment alone and reclaim the air of the theater’s musical director. “Sword fighting lessons, hm?” 

He’s not even going to address the Yennefer comment. He’ll confront her later about it. 

“I’m not a qualified stage combat trainer,” the stranger admits. “But I do practice with blunted blades.” 

Jaskier runs the mental calculations, though he knows that he’s already done for. “Did Yen tell you that she’s one of the leads for the show?” 

There’s a flicker of something that might be shock on the man’s face. “No.” 

“Oh, color me surprised, she normally can’t resist the urge to gloat.” Especially not to attractive people — and tall, pale, and brooding here is the extreme definition of ‘attractive people’. 

This time, his response is definitely a snort. “I don’t see what difference it makes.” 

Jaskier does, and he hates that Yennefer has him figured out so easily and is already two steps ahead in whatever sort of scheme she is cooking up. 

“Well.” Jaskier fishes his phone out of his pocket with a resigned sigh. “Give me your contact info, and we’ll let you know when we need your services.” He slides it across the top of the piano. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way over here just for me to have to tell you that, but Yennefer should have clarified. So you can blame her for your wasted afternoon.” 

“It wasn’t all bad,” the man says as he hands back the phone. Geralt, the contact reads, and several more things click into place from conversations with Yennefer. “I got to hear that incredible performance. Much better than the woman who actually sang it on stage.”

Jaskier doesn’t know how to feel about tall, pale, and brooding Geralt calling his performance ‘incredible’. Twice. “Thank you,” he says, because it is the polite thing to say. He feels like he should say something else, but words are failing him — which is an uncomfortable first. 

Geralt waits, as if he is expecting some other sort of follow up. When none comes, he gives a curt nod and brushes past the piano. 

Through some incredible force of will, Jaskier resists the urge to watch Geralt leave, if only so that Yennefer won’t be able to read it all over his face later. 

——

Jaskier: you absolute *witch* Yennefer: 😘 Yennefer: he’s an absolute snack, isn’t he?  Jaskier: i hate u & everything u stand for Yennefer: Of course you do Yennefer: you can tell me all of that and more over drinks tomorrow Jaskier: *please* Yennefer: Smooth way to get his number, btw Jaskier: oh fUCK off Jaskier: I was trying to be professional  Yennefer: For once Jaskier: hah hah hah  Jaskier: i know what ur up to Yennefer: oh? Do you?  Jaskier: I won’t stand for it Yennefer: you know *exactly* what I’m thinking right now Jaskier: i do and i hate it

[davey-in-a-minivan]

thoughts on the new hadestown drop as I listen the first time (3/3)

IF IT’S TRUE

-I’m not ready for this, so jot that down -”is this how the world is... it’ll always be like this?” NO BABY IT’S NOT -new lyrics and I just ouch -the workers rhythm is giving me full-body shivers again, thanks y’all -STRIKE -these aren’t new lyrics but the whole “the ones who load dice always say the toss is fair” bit is incredibly profound and the relevance to a) Orpheus seeing the circumstances that forced Eurydice’s hands and b) the workers seeing the way Hades has been manipulating and subduing them is Powerful. -”I’m asking you and you and you” call ‘em out -”I believe our answer matters more than anything they say.”/”We stand and listen” I can’t. I can’t. I’m crying now. -Is there anything more powerful than telling someone who has been robbed and mocked and deceived and manipulated and is finally speaking up “we stand and listen”? -We’re standing with him. We’re standing near him. We hear him. -just. the support. the witness. -”I believe that we are many/I believe that they are few/It isn’t for the few to tell the many what is true” -this revolutionary aspect? I didn’t know how much it was needed but WOW. -to every review and news article acting like “Why Do We Build the Wall” is The Politically Relevant song in an otherwise jazzy romantic tragedy... shut up.

EPIC III

-I’M NOT READY -new intro -”Oh it’s about me?” uhh you sound like a cartoon character -Hermes still being encouraging -is this quoting Epic I? -”And I know how it was because he was like me” HHHHH  -and then he hits us with the “la la las” -”Where’s you get that melody?” Patrick Page is incredible. The vulnerability. The surprise, the softness. He can’t be mad, he can’t be suspicious because that song, he knows that song -”Let him finish, Hades” everything I just said for Patrick Page, about Amber Gray too. The raw emotion in this one line is just-- AH -the parallels between Orpheus and Hades are so much clearer than OG Epic III and it’s better than I could have imagined -reharmonizing the ensemble la la las because we haven’t been blessed enough I guess? I love -”Now that he has everything” is less pointed and more pained. different but good. -the new instruments sound less acoustic but they’re so pretty -I’m so sorry Reeve. I doubted you and underestimated you and I was wrong. -Hades’ “la la las” are so soft -Persephone joined in???? -how is it that Anais Mitchell and Rachel Chavkin made, like, every right choice as they adapted and revised? Like, I seriously cannot comprehend the glow-ups when the NYTW version was already so good. They feel the pulse of the story so strongly. LOVER’S DESIRE

-ahhhh this is so pretty -the new la la la melody -this just sounds like love, and happiness, and comfort. -what was that minor shift at the end tho >:0

PROMISES

-he finished it. :’) -”let’s go! let’s go right now!” please do please go go go -”Take me home” -and him admitting all the ways he fails! he’s been brought down to earth, he knows that he can’t be perfect, and he’s not going to promise what he can’t keep -and she understands, because they’ve both failed -”he’ll let us go” HADES DO IT YOU COWARD -this is just,,, such a healthy depiction of love. “Do you let me walk with you?” “I do.” -dibs on singing this at my wedding

DOUBT COMES IN

-pretty sure this is going to emotionally wound me a lot but this intro sure is nice -spooky soundscape. Hadestown won best score right?? better have -WHAT the “la la las” instead of the fates?? huh?? -IS IT BECAUSE HE STARTS OUT BELIEVING -new Fates lyrics to rip my heart up -the pulsing of the drum beat -”Who am I? Why am I all alone?” I’m not the first to say this but he’s echoing the fates doubts from “Wait for me” and that’s just so good and so mean -”Orpheus, are you listening?” this show is SO good about pulling themes and motifs out of what anyone else would leave as one-off lines or issues and the fact that Orpheus keeps not hearing Eurydice because he’s so caught up in singing the gods’ love song makes this especially painful. -side note the Workers’ chorus is just always flawless -he’s not finishing the melody -”Who am I to think he wouldn’t deceive me/just to make me leave alone?” AHH can you imagine how much that would hurt? How twisted that would be? How heartbreaking for Orpheus to reach the surface and realize he walked out of Hadestown, of his own free will, and left Eurydice behind? -”Is this a trap that’s being laid for me?” he sounds almost hysterical -”I used to see the way the world could be/but now the way it is is all I see/ and where is she...” that transition is worth the whole cast’s weight in gold -”I’m right behind you and have been all along” but that’s not enough, they have to be side by side -he can’t hear her. he can’t hear her. -”the darkest hour/of the darkest night/comes right before the--” oh -oh. oh no. -”Eurydice” the way his voice sounds like it’s about to shatter closing notes: guess I’ll go find Road to Hell II and We Raise Our Cups and then cry myself to sleep. ciao.

[direct-fabrics]

Understanding Acoustic Curtains - Sound Absorption & Sound Proofing Insulation

Understanding Sound Proof Curtains & Sound Absorbing Curtains

  MUST READ INTRODUCTION

Before commencing this article, we are going to be looking at the difference between 2 elements and why buying products on the internet knowledge on a subject assists you in understanding which product is best for you. The 2 different areas when it comes to acoustic curtains. Absorption and the other is insulation (sound blocking).   Sound Absorption is used to reduce echoes and sound going around a space See part 1 Sound Proofing this is to stop sound from passing/entering into a space. See Part 2   YOUTUBE VIDEO ON SOUND ABSORPTION WITH DUO LINING    Buy Acoustic Curtains here -https://www.direct-fabrics.co.uk/curtains/acoustic   READ THIS Most curtaining products out there in the market place are beneficial to sound absorption and will have very little impact on sound insulation. Direct Fabrics offers various linings that will offer increasing amounts of sound insulation and our face fabrics are excellent for absorption. The perfect combination Unlined Curtain - Absorption ONLY - "A" to "C" Grade. Duo Lined Fleece Interlined with face fabric - Upto 7 decibels in real world test Vinyl 610gms with Face Fabric - Upto 11 Decibels in a laboratory Vinyl 610gms & Duo Lining & Face Fabric - Over 10 Decibells. in real-world office. https://www.direct-fabrics.co.uk/acoustic-curtains-soundproof-herringbone.html  

Understanding Sound Volumes in Decibels "DB"

Changes in STC/Changes in Apparent Loudness: Changes in STC Rating Changes in Apparent Loudness +/- 1db Almost imperceptible +/- 3db Just perceptible +/- 5db Clearly noticeable +/- 10db Twice (or half) as loud  

Defining Sound Volume in Real Life

Sound Level DB Source Sensation 130 Jet Aircraft at 100ft Physical Pain 110 Thunder / Artillery / Disco Deafening 90 Loud Street / Loud Factory Very Loud 70 Cocktail Party, Noisy Office, Average Street Noise Loud 50 General Office, Noisy Home Moderate 30 Private Office, Quiet Home, Empty Gym, Faint 10 Russle Of Leaves, Whisper Very Faint 0 Threshold of Audibility Nil  

Sound Absorption – Acoustic Curtains

When working with loud echoes in spaces it can be incredibly frustrating to stop sound reverberating around the room. This is where an acoustic curtain come in. Depending on the fabric it will have a varying effect on the amount of absorption that It takes and effects the sound passing back around the room. To see how good a fabric or product is at absorbing sound in a room then you need to complete the Sound absorption test EN ISO 354. This grades a product between A – E based on how absorbent a material is. When sound is projected into a room it will hit the surfaces and then it will either be transmitted through things like ceilings and walls or it will be reflected back into the room. So in a basic form the test is how much sound is sent out will return. Example Imagine. 100 units of sound are sent into a room, 80 units are transmitted out of the room and then 20 are recorded back in to the space. Thus the sound absorption coefficient is 0,8.   How is Sound Absorption Calculated Α = converted Energy +  transmitted energy in relation to the incident. The incident is the sound initially sent out. The main aim of materials hung around rooms like recording studios and theatres is to stop the sound reflecting back around and ruining the transmission of the direct sound. By having fabrics that are highly graded like black wool serge and expression dimout fabric you are limiting the amount reverberation back into the room. This is extremely important for recording studios and also quiet spaces like offices. Imagine being in a large gymnasium with concrete blocks all the way around the room. If you shout you will get a large amount of echo Here are some example reports for our best selling acoustic fabrics.   Buy Acoustic Curtains here -https://www.direct-fabrics.co.uk/curtains/acoustic Which Fabric is Best for Sound Absorption. Overview Direct fabrics will continue to add to the testing list. Direct Fabrics will add additional fabrics as demand for fashion products increases. However, the expression product testing has a gorgeous herringbone running through the fabric and the team feel this is a perfect example of Working with a variety of suppliers we have tested some fashion dimout products as well as wool serge materials. The core product for theatres, exhibition centre and performance centres is black wool serge material. This is a chosen due to being cost-effective and performance grading of "A" / "B" depending on fullness.   Direct Fabrics is now recommending a designer fabric called Acoustic Herringbone which is dimout so 90+% light stopping even when unlined., It is also a "A" Rated acoustic fabric which means that you get the highest sound absorption and also a beautiful finish with a herringbone effect for a price lower than a coloured wool serge. See Lab test result below. Prices at the time at writing this article may vary compared date when reading Fabric Application Fullness Weight Sound Class Test AW Curtains Fabric Only Acoustic Dimout *** Dimout 100% 360gms A 100mm 0.95 Curtains Fabric Coloured Wool Std Shade 100% 565gms A 100mm 0.85 Hemisphere Dimout 100% 320gms B 100mm 0.8 Curtains Fabric Standard Wool Serge Std Shade 100% 400gms B 100mm 0.85 Curtains Standard Wool Serge Std Shade 50% 400gms C 100mm 0.75 Curtains Coloured Wool Black Std Shade 50% 565gms B 100mm 0.8 Fabric Enigma Dimout 100% 298gms C 100mm 0.7 Curtains Fabric Venus Dimout 100% 255gmd C 100mm 0.65 Curtains Fabric Luxe Dimout 100% 250gms C 100mm 0.75 Curtains Fabric Kilo Wool Serge Std Shade 100% 800gms C 100mm 0.65 *** BEST SELLER Deciding which fabric to purchase Very simply you have a choice of a low cost black wool serge for a quick and effective drape to reduce the transmission of sound around a space at different frequencies. Or you can use a decorative product that is slightly more expensive that will give you even more than the standard wool. Our Hemisphere Grade B Acoustic Rated and Acoustic Herringbone Grade A Rated are both excellent value and offer a designer finish.   Understanding Gradings and Frequency Results - Acoustic Absorption.

This fabric our acoustic herringbone is the best fabric we have present and is tested to "A" rating for absorption and a 0.95 absorption coefficient.  

Sound Insulation Curtains - Sound Proofing Curtains

Introduction to Sound Proofing Curtains I am trying to block sound from entering my room. To get this result you are looking for a sound blocking curtain. In the market there are a lot of product that state they do this but in truth, they just don’t offer it in reality. Direct Fabrics has tested all of the vinyl products to EN ISO 10140-2 which is for sound insulation (sound proofing). This means that they have a lab backed report for there applications. See our range of sound proofing curtains Our entry level product is sound tested to a result of 11 decibels in a lab environment. Obviously, in a practical application, this will not be sealed on all sides but you will still get a good reduction of between 5-8 decibels. Combining this with our fleece blackout fabric you will get close to 10 decibels in a working environment. See our videos. To be clear, it is all dependent on what your trying to do. Sound Proofing Curtains and Different Uses & Effect In a new build the windows should be of a high standard and it should mean that the they are well constructed. So sound proof curtains will not stop the road noise coming through as they are deep sounds Room partitions, our curtains are ideally suited to this. Our Curtains will block upto 10db with 3 layers and with further customisations can perform even better. Drum Room Studio, stop the sound passing out of the room. By covering doorways and the walls you are reducing the sound passing around and as such out of the room. This will work well for stopping the sound.   Understanding Sound Proofing / Sound Insulation / Sound Blocking It is a common misconception that having foam egg carton shapes on the wall will stop sound coming into a wall. This is simply incorrect. Imagine sound as water, if you made a wall of sponge do you think that it will stop the water passing through. No it wont. Then imagine an aquarium tank made of thick glass, sound will work in the same way as glass and it will stay within the tank. This is the same with sound passing between spaces. From Direct Fabrics investigation and speaking with sound labs. We have discovered that the best product for reducing sound transmission is a product that acts as a rigid barrier between spaces and is strong and dense. Using an MLV (Mass Loaded Vinyl) combined with an absorption fabric will give an excellent sound reducing curtain. However, it should be known that even having a super thick layer of MLV or similar fabric will still let sound pass through any air gaps. But you should get a 10 to 20db reduction depending on which MLV you like. Please speak to the direct fabrics team for specialist products that will work for you windows for a complete sound solution. Buy Acoustic Curtains here -https://www.direct-fabrics.co.uk/curtains/acoustic   Do Sound Blocking Curtains Work? This subject is particularly difficult to quantify, and all environments will differ. A particularly good analogy I like to use when thinking about partitions and blocking sound is when you are driving in your car. You have the windows closed and it is quite quiet but as soon as you open the window even as much enough to slide an envelope through you can hear a large amount of sound. This is because sound is like a liquid and flows to wherever there is a gap. It will bounce off surfaces until it finds a route to go. When deciding to look for a sound insulation fabric it all comes down to the mass of the product and that it is tightly woven and doesn’t allow anything to pass through it.   Option 1 - Vinyl 610gms Retro Fit Lining Panels 11db lab tested

Direct Fabrics now offer 2 product in our range a lightweight PVC Vinyl that is flame retardant and has been independently tested to EN ISO 140-2. Through this test, it has received a rating of 11DB reduction in sound transfer in a space. This combined with our duo lining interlined fleece and our acoustic face fabric has given a real-world result of 10 decibells in a real suituation.   If you want to retrofit you acoustic lining straight to an existing curtain, then you can purchase this product https://www.direct-fabrics.co.uk/vinyl-acoustic-sound-insulating-lining.html   Option 2 - Vinyl 700gms to 1400gms - Coming Qtr 3 2019 7-16db weight dependent

Our other vinyl insulators for soundproofing have been brought into the range to offer heavier weight products that increase the mass in-between spaces and so insulate further. By using these materials we can reduce the sound transference between spaces. The more mass and different compositions within a substance the better it will perform. Our 900gms vinyl will perform between the pink and yellow lines. Giving around 13 decibels of reduction, this particular weight hasnt been tested but we can estimate the result. Heavier options are available but the heavier you go the less maluable they are and more weight to go through the curtain tracks installed. Option 3 - Mass Loaded Vinyl MLV 5kg. COMING QTR 3 2019

Mass loaded vinyl is a heavyweight vinyl product that has a weight generally of between 5kg and 10kg and is ideally suited for stopping airborne sound. It has a greater weight than lead and will be perfectly suited to stop sound passing between spaces when fully enclosed between objects. It is usually used a floating wall barrier between stud work and pasteboard for cinema rooms, but Direct fabrics has been trialling this in panel form. As a barrier, it is shown to reduce sound transmission by 27 DB in accordance with ENISO717-1. See Image. Direct Fabrics current offer a 5kg Acoustic Barrier Fabric that is available in a 120cm Width. We sell this manufactured into panels with eyelets above the panel. These are Sail eyelets and are 20mm. These are ideally hung onto wall screws or tieback hooks. Mass Loaded Vinyl 5kg per metre square has been tested to 27 DB in a lab environment. It is an ultra heavy weight product and can provide excellent sound results. As a loose cover, it will reduce sound by 10-20 decibels depending on installation and reduction of air gaps. Negatives of Mass loaded Vinyl. The product is a very industrial product and is made from a mineral rough compound vinyl. It is not decorative. Where it is great is for blocking sound but please note it is very heavy and difficult to put in situation. It is ideal to mount on to walls that not going to be moved.   Installation of your Products Once you have chosen your product it is imperative to ensure that it is fitted wider than the space being blocked. This will allow for the sound not to pass round the edges of the installaed barrier. So if using an mlv or vinyl use some double sided velcro or tape to attach the edges back to the wall. If using curtains then also attach the curtain edges back to the wall. Where possible have an overlap of the fabrics in the middle to get maximum coverage to stop passing through Room dividers are best suited to be ceiling mounted to reduce the air gap over the top of the curtain.     Read the full article

[musicmixtapes]

September 26, 2018 Mix

This week as I was curating the playlist, I got to thinking a lot about the way that our mood at a particular moment affects the music we choose to listen to. Some people say that they pick music the opposite of their mood to counteract a bad day, some choose to delve into that feeling and get in touch with it. I, being the latter, am having a memory ridden, reflective sort of week, so I chose songs that talk about the past a little bit and how they can influence the present/future. I hope you enjoy and find something that suits your mood. 

Spotify Playlist 1. Planet Hunter by Wolf Alice - This song is all about trying to recreate memories of something or with someone that happened awhile back, events which were really positive, but they cannot be rehabilitated. The artist reminds me of if Taylor Swift had not become a pop music sellout and instead taken a dark moody indie music route, and well, the results are stunning because she creates a depth of feeling to the music that most pop cannot do, in my opinion. The part I relate to the most that struck me was the repeated phrase of "I left my mind behind in 2015" which reaches a point where we, as listeners, realize that there are peaks in our lives that we wish to return to, especially at some of our valleys. I love this because it is an upbeat song about feeling out of place in the present, which is really fascinating. 2. St. Paul by Ritchy Mitch & The Coal Miners - Honestly, the piano that tinkles into a wonderful melody/rift in the beginning has to be the most alluring part of this song, which eventually becomes a much bigger feeling as it continues on. There aren't many striking piano-driven songs these days, so I was impressed with that along with the fact that this song clearly disses a saint, yet doesn't seem offensive in the slightest because it is so personal and not an attack on anything but oneself's feelings. The instrumentals and their uncertainty directly correlate with the restlessness of the lyrics and the crunchy sound of the singer's vocals; we love to see a parallel of the sound of the music to the actual meaning behind the song. All the literary techniques used to write a song is the reason why our ears are so attuned to it. 3. Window by Nana Grizol - Going along with the recurring theme of memories and the past, this song is literally a metaphor for a window looking into the past of what something once was. The defining line of this song comes when the singer refers to the window of the past and saying that "we can lift them/and focus on the moments that we lift in" which is a beautiful shift in tone from a reminiscent tune to one that look towards changing for the better and leaving the memories (whether good, bad or ugly) behind for someone else to revolve around. The artist, Nana Grizol, often covers really broad topics, such as negative feelings, the passing of time, moving on in a really succinct way that reaches an audience who needs to hear mantras in a refreshing way. I like to think of this song as a meditative yoga for the ears, please practice daily. 4. Solitary Daughter by Bedouine - I found this song in the most interesting way, so here it is: I was in the Mcnally Jackson bookstore on Prince Street in the city, rifling through the poetry section (as one does) and stumbled upon a book that transcribed songs into poems and included commentary from other writers and from the artists themselves, in a lot of cases. Reading these lyrics as a poem in a book was so thrilling because I often talk a lot about how some songs are really just poetry set to music, and in this case, other people must have thought so too. This piece is incredible in its way of speaking about a woman not needing someone to rely on or anything to sustain her, except for her own self, her home is herself, which is so liberating to both hear and read. I highly recommend reading the lyrics alongside listening. 5. Chemicals by Gregory Alan Isokov - Off of his brand new EP "Dark, Dark, Dark" which was released not but six days ago, is this peaceful and meaningful acoustic folky ballad by a personal favorite of mine. This piece is especially interesting because it plays off of the notion of the different ways in which chemicals can affect a person's body, kind of like the way a person who is really important in one's life can do the same. An image that I love to see showing up in art is the trope of hands trying to reach one another, whether it be in the "Creation of Adam" or an old film. This song plays with this lost hands imagery, in the line "how my hands can't seem to find your hands in the dark", which if I wasn't already in love with the song, sealed the deal for me 100%. Definitely check out the other two tracks off of the EP, they are wonderful as well. 6. Slipped by The National - This week's mix all began with this one sad ballad by my current favorite group and it just built off of this. I cannot express with words, on paper or in person, how much I am tethered to the lyrics of this song. Something about the raw and honest way that this was strung together speaks to a person who is done with being vulnerable to someone who has no intention in showing hidden parts of themselves back. In this narrative song, the speaker is talking to a girl who left the city to go to a more rural area in the South, thus separating the two, and telling how tragic it is to break away from something when he could not be what she wanted him to be. This is a solemn and intense vow to oneself that they will not break down and fall apart because of a love ending, this is another mantra. 7. We're So Lost by Voom - Upon first instinct, I would like to classify this song under tracks I would listen to whilst laying under the stars and thinking about our existence in such a big place or while slow dancing with someone and contemplating what is going on. But now, even in a good mood this song makes sense because no matter how you feel in terms of being in this world, everyone can agree that we have no idea what we're doing most of the times and are mere beings that are floating through time and space, trying to determine why we were placed here in the first place. In some ways, this can be thought of as a slow rock philosophical crisis song, or you can just love it because of the waltz like beauty of it. Your choice. 8. Fuck Love by Lalić - I definitely expected a cynical, bitter, anger driven song when looking at the title, but if I can say any cliché here, it's don't judge a song (book) based on its title (cover). If anything, it's more of a love song, explaining that the speaker has no real reason to be saying things like "fuck love". I think this is interesting because oftentimes, people don't like to be honest with themselves about their emotions, so instead they put up their walls immediately and turn to sarcastic, defensive comments like "i hate everyone" "love suck" or.... "fuck love". Being one of these people, this song opens up that term and exposes us hate poseurs who are very sensitive and truly love to love. The low fi rock sounds with a strong guitar line is nice to hear as well. 9. Blood Bank by Bon Iver - He is so detailed in his description of bags of blood, I have to believe that he actually had a conversation with someone he loved at a blood bank, discussing the differences between people's blood... which is... interesting. It is also vital to this song to understand that the two separate memories he tells about are very closely related because he is explaining the variability of relationships and how to decide whether it is prudent to enter into an affair or to be your own person and indulge in lonely behavior. Of course, it never hurts to be told really emotional things like this with Bon Iver's delicate crooning and layered harmonies that build throughout with such simple complexity, unmatched by other singers in his genre. 10. How It Gets In by Frightened Rabbit ft. Julien Baker - Your first question after listening may very well be "how what gets in?" as my first question was this exact thing. Maybe what gets in is this undeniably wonderful call and response song along with angelic harmonies. But maybe, what gets in, at least in terms of this song, is the literal healing of an open wound and how to properly dress it and make sure it doesn't get infected, or at least that was what was accounted by the singers in question. I interpreted the song to be a recounting and lesson on how love can come into one's life in unexpected places, and how just because there was hurt and pain in the heart for a long time, does not mean it has to stay that way forever. 11. NFWMB by Hozier - This acronym is probably the smartest thing I have experienced in a song's title in a long time: NFWMB is really Nothing Fucks With My Baby, expressed in a classy way, courtesy of the forest prince and love of my life, Andrew Hozier-Byrne. As always, there are several biblical references and apocalyptic death metaphors, which always leaves me feeling very confused and inspired at the same time. The very jazz and blues influenced low key rock song is so different from other love songs that it kind of creates its own category in that sense. It is described by others as "the love song for the end of the world" therefore going back to my feelings of apocalypse, decay and biblical tellings. 12. One In A Million by Hudson Taylor - "You gotta be cruel if you wanna be kind" ok this just hit me way too hard and true. The only way I even discovered this artist is actually because they are opening up for the Hozier concert I am attending tonight and now I am super excited to see them perform as the opening act as well. They remind me of a toned down version of The Kooks in a lot of shared vocals and chord progressions and upbeat instrumentals, except they are a duo hailing from Ireland and they classify themselves a folk band, though the punk/alternative rock influences found in this song are undeniably present. Also present is the message of knowing someone doesn't care about you the way you care about them and needing to be released from that sort of madness... cool. 13. Into The Mystic by Van Morrison - I'm probably not introducing anybody to this song for the first time right now and certainly not the last, but something about the changing of the seasons and the shift of weather from summer to autumn calls out to the mystical and slow dance vibe that this classic and iconic folky rock song inspires. There is absolutely nothing better than the buildup from quiet lull to the horn heavy chorus and interlude that just makes you want to stop and dance wherever you are in your day. Another musical aspect that is highly appreciated by yours truly is the intricate acoustic guitar rift that is taken and shifted into a lot of newer acoustic based songs that we hear all the time these days. The past influences the present and the present is heard in the past all the time, especially in music. 14. Size Of The Moon by Pinegrove - Shifting into a more heavy punk, angst themed style of music is this memory driven song which tells us about a time where the speaker is thinking on the communication issues that occurred in a relationship and how they could have easily been remedied, but there was no effort on the other half's side. From an interpretation of the song, one person smartly said, "It’s really easy to indulge in nostalgia when you’re at a rocky part of a relationship. Suddenly everything appears better than the present, no matter how imperfect those times were." I have to concur with this notion because our perception of the past changes over time and when we miss someone, at times, we look at bad memories and they even start to seem better than being alone... but they are not. 15. Kathleen by Catfish and the Bottlemen - Another song geared towards a relationship not working out the way it's supposed to is from a band that is one of my all time favorites. Their comical British style of lyrics is so appealing to my American way of thinking of things and the heartfelt honesty heard in their songs play along quite nicely with the super power rock style in which they are written. This tune in specifics, is not about the past, but the present and trying to reflect on what is going on in the "now" which is a really complicated thing to try and do, when you are infatuated with someone. The instability is heard not just in the lyrics, but also in the interchanging chords of the electric guitar and the fast paced anxiety ridden drumbeat, which is awesome.. 16. Holland, 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel - This band is one of the weirdest, coolest ones that only the people who love grating vocals and intense lyrics can truly appreciate to the desired capacity. The whole album, from the 90s, "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" depicts the story of Anne Frank and the tragedies behind what happened to such an innocent person, along with her youthful romance and how it all devolved in such a short time. A lot of fans of this album have also speculated that there is a second layer of meaning between the World War II references, being that is expresses the kind of tension and tragedy that occurs when you lose some so important in your life, and how the mourning of this loss can only be remedied through appreciating this person afterwards. 17. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by Black Kids - Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can all understand the meaning of the song strictly through the title of this song, negating my opinion before on how you should not judge a song based on its title... well in this case, you can absolutely do that. Not only does it have the best dance tune in the world, but it is also so adorable that the singer's only common connection with the girl he is speaking about is their affinity and adeptness with dancing. Although I definitely have "two left feet" as the singer describes the boyfriend having in this song, I relate to this in terms of music. If there is a person who I really care about, the connection I automatically have is usually in a musical sense, and I am greedy about this relation. We all have something we won't teach someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend if we care about them. 18. 123 by Girlpool - I love this so much. It depicts a relationship where the speaker is asking the partner/SO to tell them everything that is wrong with them in a really sarcastic and aggressive way. It's comical and honest and vulnerable all at once which I have to give a hand for because mixing comedy with painful relationships is something that I always attempt in my writing. The song deals with an interpersonal relationship that is simultaneously “toxic and loving" as described from a contributor on Genius Lyrics, which is a website I often refer to on advice and other commentaries on music I really enjoy. The girl rock power that is disseminated with this track is so strong and empowering, for any gender, so please don't hesitate to sing this when you're feeling angsty about someone. 19. Million Years Ago by Adele - I don't think I ever really talk about my deep appreciation for Adele on here, because I try to branch out from popular artists and focus on more under-appreciated and undiscovered types; but I'm making an exception because although she is one of the most iconic voices of the modern generation, this specific song is so underrated in terms of her best songs. It sounds so french/spanish acoustic ballad inspired and makes me feel like I am transported to a black and white film from the 50s with the sadness and depth that it gives me in such a simple way. It ALSO follows along with my theme of the week, which is looking back in order to look forward, because she sings about the troubles of missing things from the past and dealing with the issues of transforming into a different person. 20. Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex - Finally, one of the best mixes of every song I have spoken about previously, is this moody sad love tune by the moodiest, saddest, love bands of the modern generation. There is an unspoken cheesiness of Cigs After Sex songs that for some reason, I am completely enamoured with because I feel like the notion of expressing things in a hyperbolic way has been tossed by the wayside. This group brings back the feeling of needing to tell someone how much they care and not caring about what anyone else thinks, which is important in a world that so often ridicules the ridiculous emotions that love brings about. In particular this song speaks to the feelings of needing to get someone out of a feeling they are trapped in, so to be with them fully, and telling the person they will be there in their lowest and darkest times. 

Hope you enjoyed listening with me, see you next week!

[notthetoothfairy]

Taking Detours

It’s a certain someone’s birthday!!! And since that certain someone is my usual beta reader, please excuse possible typos and weird sentences.

@a-simple-rainbow - I have a weird feeling you once kind of prompted me to write Kurt breaking into Blaine’s apartment or vice versa? But even if you didn’t, that’s what I wrote, sort of, so just roll with it! :D Happy birthday, love! ♥

Read on AO3

“You what?!” Kurt asks Rachel again, exasperated. “After I just lost my keys to Santana because it was my turn to lend her mine and she had to take a spontaneous trip to Ohio to make Brittany jealous or whatever she is doing this time? Ugh.”

Rachel is wringing her hands with a miserable grimace.

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” she repeats. “I… I really screwed up. I had them in my coat but the one I wore yesterday, not this one – and I didn’t even think that the other key is in Ohio.” Her eyes widen. “Oh god, do you think we’ll have to sleep on the streets?!”

Kurt eyes her in annoyance. “No, Rachel, we’re going to sleep in our apartment.” He sighs, looking the outside wall in front of them up and down. “We just need to find a way to get up that fire escape.”

He glances around, finds a trash can and decides that it’ll have to do. He makes his way over there and ignores Rachel as she impatiently tugs on his jacket.

“Have you lost your mind, Kurt?! Even if you get up there – which I doubt, by the way – how will you get into the apartment?”

Kurt positions the trash can just right so he is right below the ladder.

“I left my window open to get some fresh air,” he says, knowing perfectly well that it will drive Rachel crazy.

Sure enough she starts ranting about how she hates coming back to a freezing apartment, and that a quick gush of air for about ten minutes every morning is enough.

Kurt looks down from where he has climbed onto the trash can. He cocks an eyebrow at Rachel.

“Do you want to continue with your little tirade or will you at one point start being grateful that I am singlehandedly saving you the trouble of finding shelter tonight?” he asks.

Rachel frowns and huffs but she shuts up nonetheless.

“Now give me a little support, please?” Kurt requests, mentally preparing himself for what he’s about to do. “I don’t want to die because you were too careless with the keys.”

About five tries of jumping and missing, accompanied without fail by a horrified shriek from Rachel. The sixth time, though, Kurt manages to hold on to the ladder and pull himself up (all thanks to his new gym routine). This time, Rachel cheers and Kurt rolls his eyes at her one last time before climbing up all the way and continuing up the stairs.

He wishes he was wearing a bit less tight pants, though, because climbing flights after flights of stairs turns out to be quite exhausting. He’s already thrown his jacket down to where Rachel is watching him, but he’s not about to lose any more clothes. He must already look like a lunatic burglar.

Then again, it’s New York.

Kurt keeps counting floors as he makes his way up higher. Having the loft apartment, of course they are at the very top, but something doesn’t add up as Kurt reaches the end of the fire escape. A quick glance through the window in front of him tells him he’s made a mistake because he does not recognize the furniture.

“Goddammit,” he mutters to himself. “Wrong side of the house, really? Really, Kurt?!”

He looks down and, oh, wow, he’s high up. How has he not looked down before now? He grabs the handrail a bit tighter.

“Fuck, fuck fuck.” Kurt grits his teeth. “Okay, you have two options. Die up here or get back down there…” As he turns around, another window catches his eye. “Or…” He shouldn’t. But it’s opened just slightly and it would be so easy to just slide it up all the way and quickly get this all over with.

Well, that’s the pro. The con is that he might give someone a heart attack. What if it’s an elderly lady?

But maybe… maybe nobody will even see him. Maybe this person isn’t even home – maybe they’re just fresh air enthusiasts like Kurt.

And maybe Kurt is a coward who can’t go back down now that he’s climbed up so far and the adrenaline is all used up, and he’s realizing he is more afraid of heights than he thought.

“I’m insane, I’m so insane,” he tells himself as he slides the window up quietly and climbs into an apartment that is most definitely not his.

He wishes it were his a little bit because the first thing he spots next to a cozy-looking queen bed is an acoustic piano, a guitar and lots and lots of sheet music neatly stacked on an alphabetized shelf. Kurt’s halfway on his way to inspect the collection when he remembers his mission and turns back to the room’s door.

He opens the door with care, painfully aware that he is basically breaking and entering, even if for good reasons. He gulps and peers out the door. Another big room, connected to an open kitchen space. Alright, this must be the living room then. Kurt’s eyes flit around and find the main entrance quickly. That must be it, the door with the shoe rack and the keys on the cabinet…

As he moves toward it, a door to his left suddenly opens and a half-naked guy comes out, eyes so focused on tightening his towel that he misses Kurt.

“Sam?” the owner of the gorgeous apartment calls out. “Was that you? Did you forget something?”

Kurt cringes. He doesn’t want to get beaten up, and the guy looks like he could be up for the job judging by those arms and back, but he can’t also not say anything… what if he still gets caught and looks even more guilty than he already is?

“Uhm,” he says dumbly, for a lack of better words. “No, it’s-”

The guy yells and jumps at the sudden sound behind him, and – okay, wow, talk about a heart attack, because the towel falls as he turns around and that’s definitely something Kurt did not expect to see when he broke into the apartment.

For god’s sake, he thought it would be an elderly lady. But no, that’s so not the anatomy of an elderly lady.

Kurt chokes on his words, beet red, and slaps his hand over his eyes.

The guy scrambles to get his towel back up before hissing, “What the fuck?! Who the hell are you and why are you in my apartment?!”

Kurt peeks through his fingers and, okay, it’s semi-safe. He lowers his hand – but once he gets a closer look at the guys face, he suddenly wishes he would have just fallen off the stupid fire escape.

That’s none other than Blaine Anderson, the guy from 7B, who always causes a lot of elbowing from Rachel and crude jokes about his sex life from Santana whenever he passes and Kurt yet again fails to introduce himself.

Blaine seems to realize he’s seen Kurt around at the same time.

“Wait, you’re that guy – from the loft, right…?” he asks, looking more confused than ever.

“Yes, uh, hi,” Kurt manages to say, curses himself for all the awkwardness that he’s about to endure. “God, I am so sorry about this.”

Blaine shifts around uncomfortably, his dark eyebrows furrowed so deep that his whole face is scrunched up.

“I don’t understand. What are you doing in my apartment? How did you even get in?” His face falls all of a sudden. “Are you stalking me?!”

“What?! No!” Kurt exclaims, horrified at the thought. “Oh, no, no, no, I’m not here on purpose, especially not on that purpose, I swear. Please believe me. Please, Blaine, just let me explain.”

Blaine opens and closes his mouth a few times before settling on, “You know my name.”

Oh, shit.

“Uhhhh.” Kurt closes his eyes. “Okay, not making a good case for myself here.” He blinks one eye open to gauge Blaine’s reaction. “At least you seem to have decided I’m not dangerous.”

“Actually, I’m not entirely convinced,” Blaine says honestly, grabbing his phone from the table next to him. “But I know who you are, too, Kurt Hummel. So I can report you to the police if need be.”

“Wait, how do you know my-” Kurt starts but Blaine glares at him and he shuts up. “Right. Not the point. Explanation.” He bites his lip, takes a deep breath, and just goes for the truth. “Would you believe me if I told you that my crazy roommates have issues with taking good care of keys and left us locked out of the apartment so that I had to climb up a flight of stairs on the fire escape only to realize that I was on the wrong side of the building and discovered I’m actually a bit scared of heights so I decided to do the dumb thing and climb into a random stranger’s apartment hoping nobody would be there and my little stunt here would go unnoticed?”

He gets all of that out in record speed – come to think of it, he hasn’t breathed since steeling himself for that little speech, so maybe time to do that – and shoots Blaine a pleading look.

“Okay, wait a second, that was really fast,” Blaine says, shaking his head. “You’re locked out of your apartment?”

“Yes.”

“And instead of calling a locksmith you decided to climb up the fire escape?”

Kurt blinks. “… yes?”

“Okay…” Blaine acknowledges his stupidity with an amused chuckle. “And then you couldn’t get back down and you thought it would be better to potentially get caught as a burglar than just climb down?”

“I guess…” Kurt says with a frustrated sigh.

“And you do realize that you’re still ending up on the wrong side of your apartment door once you’ve made it through mine?”

Kurt purses his lips and wants to die in a hole somewhere.

“Uhm,” he says. “I hadn’t even gotten that far.”

They stare at each other in silence for another moment. Until Blaine just starts shaking with laughter.

“Okay, this is officially hilarious,” he gets out in between little hiccupping laughs that are absolutely adorable, though Kurt’s doing his best to ignore that. “Are you aware that I just dropped my towel in front of my neighbor and I still somehow managed to not have made the biggest fool of myself in this scenario?”

Kurt lets out an embarrassed squeak. “I’m sorry!”

“Thank you,” Blaine says, still laughing. “At least you’re a very polite burglar.”

“Not a burglar,” Kurt whines. “Just incredibly stupid.”

Blaine shrugs. “You did enter my house without permission.”

“God, please don’t call the police on me.”

“Not planning to.” Blaine smiles and puts his phone back on the table. “I don’t think anyone would have been able to make up a story like that on the spot. Besides, you look way too innocent and cute – they probably wouldn’t believe me if I tell them you broke in.” He gulps all of a sudden and fidgets with his towel. “Uhm, anyway, uh… would you mind if I… just stepped out to…?”

“Please,” Kurt says, voice wavering.

He’s been trying hard not to ogle Blaine even now that they’ve established Kurt’s not actually a serial killer or total creep. Though Kurt’s not so sure about the latter himself. He did see Blaine naked, after all, and he’s kind of failing the not-ogling thing.

He blames the little droplets of water still drying only slowly on Blaine’s chest.

And also, hello, Blaine just called him cute. Kurt blames that, too.

Blaine steps around him awkwardly and slips through the door behind Kurt. Ah, so the amazing music room is his. Figures. If Kurt can’t trust his judgment for appropriate courses of action anymore, at least he still has his impeccable taste in men.

Kurt groans silently as he hears the door behind him close. He really stepped in it with his little stunt. Not to mention he’s still locked out of his apartment, as Blaine pointed out so aptly.

But Kurt has no time to ponder this in detail as Blaine comes back out of his room in a matter of minutes, dressed in jeans and a simple polo shirt. He has to move around Kurt again, and Kurt mentally slaps himself – repeatedly.

“Jeez, why did I just keep standing here?” he wonders out loud. To Blaine, he says, “Again, I am so sorry. I… I’ve caused enough damage, I – I can just show myself out, I guess.”

“Right, right…” Blaine mutters, running a hand through his hair. “What about your dilemma, though?”

“Huh?” Kurt is really losing the ability to think with the way Blaine’s eyes are trained on him with just the right amount of care and concern, and oh… “Dilemma…? Oh!” He rolls his eyes at himself. “No keys. Right. Uh… well, I guess I’ll call the locksmith…”

“I can check for a few places in the area,” Blaine offers, grabbing his phone again.

“Thanks, Blaine,” Kurt mumbles. “Ugh, and Santana’s coming back tomorrow… if she were here today, she could just let us in. Now we’ll probably have to change locks and-”

“Or you could just stay here.”

“What?”

“I, uh- I mean. If you don’t- never mind, I-”

“Did you just offer me a place to stay after I more-or-less accidentally broke into your apartment, scared the hell out of you and came across as a total lunatic who just wanted to creep on you while you were naked?”

Blaine is the one to blush this time around.

“I mean, uhm.” He clears his throat. “You did cover your eyes when… that all happened. Also, I know for a fact that you actually live in this building, it’s not like I’ve never noticed- I mean, uh, seen you around… so.” He grimaces. “Do I really have to explain this? I’m just trying to be nice.”

“And you’re very much succeeding,” Kurt says breathlessly. “So… thank you.” He hesitates. “Well, I can’t really take you up on it, though. It feels a bit inappropriate. And I do have another roommate who’s also homeless for the night, though.”

“Not inappropriate at all, I offered.” Blaine shrugs. “And as for the roommate… my couch is big enough for two.”

“Wow.” Kurt blinks. “You really are very nice.”

Blaine lets out a mixture of a squeak and a laugh. Kurt wants to judge but doesn’t find it in himself to find it anything but absolutely endearing.

“Let me call Rachel and Santana and see what they say?” Kurt asks before clarifying, “My roommates, I mean.”

“Sure.” Blaine tilts his head. “Is the one potentially staying here the loud one or the scary one?”

Kurt laughs. “I’ll have you know they can both be very loud and scary, sometimes at the same time, which is usually my cue to leave for a few hours and curse myself to have moved in with two friends from high school.” He shakes his head fondly. “But I’m guessing you mean Santana when you say scary, so, no. The loud one would be staying here.”

“Alright, then.” Blaine smiles. “I’ll make some coffee while you call them. The least I can do is offer you something to drink while you figure out your options.”

“The least you can do?” Kurt asks under his breath as Blaine walks away. “Insanity…”

He calls Rachel, tells her as much as she needs to know, which is mainly that he did not die on the fire escape and is currently camping out in apartment 7B. That earns him a squeal so loud he has to hastily shove his phone closer to his ear to muffle the sound, to no avail, though, as Blaine looks over and chuckles.

“Yeah, definitely the loud one,” he comments.

Santana’s even less discrete, which is unsurprising but also more than embarrassing. She just cackles diabolically and tells Kurt she’ll stay away as long as he needs to play the damsel-in-distress card to get into dreamy neighbors pants, and Kurt prays to every deity he can think of that Blaine didn’t hear that.

It doesn’t look like it, but Kurt has yet to respond.

“No, Santana, we’d very much appreciate it if you could come back tomorrow and solve this whole mess,” he says, voice tight, glancing at Blaine apologetically. “We don’t want to inconvenience Blaine longer than necessary.”

“Well I can think of a few ways you could repay him, you know? There’s-”

“See you tomorrow, Santana!” Kurt hangs up as quickly as he can.

A few minutes later, Blaine welcomes his second surprise guest into his apartment. Rachel made a quick beeline to the nearest grocery store and brought something to cook for dinner, so that Blaine wouldn’t have to spend extra money on them.

She talks fast as she thanks Blaine for his hospitality, asks endless questions about how Kurt ended up in the apartment, and just gapes at them like a fish when she finally gets them to tell her the full story.

Blaine’s roommate Sam comes home in time for dinner and only raises an eyebrow at Blaine.

“I see you invited the loft people,” he says with a smirk that Kurt can’t really place but sends Blaine into a bit of a coughing fit. “It’s nice to meet you,” Sam adds in Rachel and Kurt’s direction.

Despite not having anything with them and having to borrow everything from Sam and Blaine – except for tooth brushes, which Rachel thankfully thought of on her way to the store – they end up having a wonderful evening with delicious food, wine and an episode of America’s Next Topmodel.

Kurt and Blaine sit close enough to touch, and Kurt doesn’t think he imagines it when Blaine scoots a bit closer, pretending to make more room for Sam, and oh-so-subtly brushes the back of Kurt’s hand with his own.

He definitely doesn’t imagine the way Blaine’s breath hitches when Kurt gathers all his courage to lean close and whisper in his ear, “Somehow I was under the impression there’d be some nude photo shoots today.”

Blaine lets out a surprised laugh, giving Kurt a look that’s both scandalized and appreciative. Or so Kurt likes to think.

He almost thanks Rachel for being so forgetful about her keys. But only almost.

Once they are tucked into their makeshift beds and Sam and Blaine have retreated to their rooms, Rachel turns to Kurt, her head propped up on her hand.

“So, you saw him naked, huh?”

“Rachel!” Kurt buries his head under the blanket, and tries to think about how that a) actually happened, and b) somehow led to him lying on Blaine’s couch in Blaine’s apartment wearing Blaine’s clothes. “Please don’t.”

“I mean, most people start by formally introducing themselves but your way certainly has its perks.”

“Rachel, I swear,” Kurt hisses.

“Come on, I want to hear some details,” Rachel begs.

Kurt groans and peeks out under his blanket to take a look at Sam and Blaine’s doors. Closed shut. Good.

“Alright, alright, but for the love of god, shush.”

And amazingly, just for once, Rachel lets him talk and gush and rant, and keeps somewhat quiet throughout.

It’s not until the next morning that Kurt realizes Rachel never agreed to actually keep her mouth shut for the whole duration of their stay, so he doesn’t get to actually start over and live an embarrassment-free life.

“So, Blaine,” she starts over breakfast, and her mischievous grin sends Kurt into such a frenzy that he misses her leg the first few times he tries to kick it. “Kurt tells me you have an amazing a-”

“Assorted sheet music collection!” Kurt blurts when he finally does get a hold of her foot.

He hates Rachel for a second but it’s worth the flirty smile Blaine sends his way.

“You think so?” he asks. “I should have you let a closer look someday.”

Sam smirks, Rachel cackles. Kurt chokes on his tea a bit. And Blaine just looks way too pleased with himself.

Kurt changes his mind about potentially thanking Rachel. He seriously needs roommates with better key management skills.

Or simply a new apartment. He hates moving, though.

Maybe he can get a spot in the same building.

7B certainly has its assets.

[bnhainsert]

Sound Out

Here is Chapter two of my multi chapter story

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2: Aria of a New Start

Vocaller had no idea what she was getting herself into.

She was driven from her city to a much bigger city a couple of hours away. She looked out the window at the towering buildings and the incredibly big crowds flowing through the streets. Just looking at how much was going on gave her a headache. Luckily she brought her protective headphones to keep most, but not all, sound out. She used the headphones to help train her ear to better her quirk. Both the headphones and herself had been through a lot together.

“Here’s the drop off miss” The driver said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Oh! Okay thank you very much!” She tipped the driver and removed her duffle bag from the backseat. It wasn’t a huge bag, nor was it completely filled. She had agreed on only being there for 3 days at a maximum.

As she stepped out of the cab, she looked at the residence before her. It was a pretty normal looking home with two stories. A balcony peaked over the front door. The shrubs that were up against the house seemed to be well kept. It was a bit bigger than what she was used to, but that didn’t mean she didn’t like it. She prefered more space over less.

She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Instead of the ringing sound of a bell, it was the sound of guitar distortion. It shocked her for a moment. She tried the bell again just to make sure she heard correctly. “Fascinating” She said in a whisper. Before she could examine the bell any more, the door opened.

“Oh you must be Vocaller! The soundwave hero! I’ve heard so much about you and have so many questions to ask you!” A very excited woman spoke. She looked so happy that Vocaller thought she might explode from sheer excitement.

“Do other people really know who I am????” Vocaller thought to herself. She looked a little closer at the woman and noticed her ears were.......they were jacks! Oh.......This is the hero Earphone Jack! She wore her signature black jacket and thick boots. She rocked a pixie cut and a sweet septum and lip piercing. 

“Oh dear lord she’s hot” Vocaller thought.

“Oh please come in! I’ll show you around and then show you to your room! You must be tired, especially since you’ve come to a big noisy city to work” Earphone Jack continued and started walking inside. “So you know that loud sounds give me migraines???” Vocaller asked. “Oh yeah! You’ve got some of the best ears in the business! So I’d guess that you’ve got an acute sense of hearing that could probably be sensitive” She explained.

“Hot and considerate?!” Vocaller internally screamed.

She followed her into the house and looked around as she was given a tour. There were beautiful guitars, both acoustic and electric, out on display. There were also some brass instruments hung on the walls with care. They walked past a sound proof room that contained a drum-set, along with recording equipment, microphones, and even soundboards. Vocaller’s head started spinning from all of the music related things. She thought she was going to pass out. She could never make enough money to afford any of these things. Such is the life of working in a small town.

“You can call me Jiro while we’re here. No need to call me by my hero name if you’re going to be living under the same roof for a little while. I still can’t believe that I get to host you!” She continued.

Vocally snapped out of her shock. “Oh.....in that case please call me Hado. I’m Hado Hibiki” Vocaller replied. “Hado....Alright Hado, let’s get you settled in” Jiro answered, leading her to the guest room.

She opened the door and revealed a small guest bed, a keyboard in the corner, and a few posters of famous singers. “I apologize for some of the memorabilia...I am quite a fan of musicians considering my parents were musicians” Jiro nervously laughed and rubbed the back of her head. “Oh please don’t apologize! If I had the money for any of this stuff, my room back home would look exactly like this! I’m a singer myself so seeing these absolute stars on the walls is incredible!” Hado assured. “Can I...?” Hado gestured to the keyboard. 

“Oh by all means please do!”

Hado rushed towards the keyboard and promptly turned it on. It was a nice one with the weighted keys and multiple sound settings. Hado rested her fingers on the keys and closed her eyes. She had practiced piano for a while to help with her quirk. It was the easiest instrument to help with ear training and understanding sound waves. She played a soft melody with her right hand and some warm chords underneath in her left hand. It wasn’t technically perfect. It wasn’t high class classical levels. It was just.....her sound.

Jiro smiled and leaned against the doorway watching Hado move across the keyboard. One of the heroes she had wanted to meet in real life was suddenly in her home, playing her instruments. This was probably one of the best days Jiro had had in a while.

As Hado let the last chord ring a for a little longer, Jiro clapped. Hado, not used to having anybody really cheer her on, was startled but stood up and bowed just like a professional musician would. She made sure to make it extra dramatic. Jiro snorted. “I still can’t believe that the soundwave hero is in my home” She said once more. “I can’t believe I’m in the home of Earphone Jack! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to work together with our quirks?!” Hado gushed. It seemed she too had a fangirl side of her, at least when it came to sound and music related things.

“well we don’t have to imagine because starting tomorrow we will be working together on this case that Deku recruited you for” Jiro explained with a bright smile on her face.

“No.....fucking....way” Hado’s jaw had fallen a little bit further than she would’ve liked. She shook her head and beamed at Jiro. “This is going to be incredible! At first I was a little worried....you know....I don’t like leaving my town alone....I love that city and protecting it is the highlight of my life, but I think this will be a great opportunity not only to work with people I admire, but also to enhance my work as a pro” Hado opened up.

“You really do care about the people in your town. That’s totally rockin’” 

Hado smiled at Jiro’s use of the word “Rockin’”. They continued to talk a little bit about why they became heroes and some of their favorite stories. Time dragged on for a while.

“No way....you managed to prank Present Mic back in the day by making your voice sound like Aizawa?” Jiro managed to get out in between bouts of laughter. “Oh yeah. I couldn’t keep getting away with it though. Aizawa was almost always there when I tried to prank others after that so my voice came out as normal. It was totally embarrassing” Hado reminisced. She missed her old school days at UA.

“I still can’t believe that you’re only 4 years older than me. It just seems like you would’ve been a great part of my class. You would’ve loved them” Jiro said. “Oh yeah? Was Deku a part of your class too?” Hado asked. “Are you kidding? He was like the heart of our class. His attitude towards becoming a hero all pushed us to work harder and harder to achieve our dreams” Jiro smiled warmly. “That sounds like him, considering what kind of a pro hero he is” Hado connected.

“Ah well I really want to keep talking and all of this but we do have an early day tomorrow. I’ll grab us some dinner and we can get some rest” Jiro said getting up from the bed where she was sitting. Hado smiled and nodded. She waved to Jiro as she left to go get dinner. She sighed and laid down on the bed. There was so much happening to her in just one day that it made her head spin. Not only was she in the home of a pretty famous hero, these heroes also knew who she was. That was probably the craziest thing about this situation. 

Hado didn’t really want to pursue being in the limelight. She was absolutely content with working for a small time city. The smaller towns were almost always forgotten because most heroes wanted to work where most of the action was. Since so many of the heroes moved to bigger cities, crime started to grow in the smaller towns. These people deserved to be saved too. They deserved to be protected. She never made a fancy debut like all of the other heroes. She just established herself in that small town and got to work. Her hard work definitely paid off considering the crime rate there was near non-existent. 

Hado sat back up and huffed to herself. As much as she wanted to be back home protecting the citizens of the town, she knew that this mission was important. She tried to get into the mindset of tracking and capturing villains. 

From what she was briefed on these criminals were pulling off some serious jobs. They started out small time with bank robberies. The jobs continued to get bigger and more violent. There was almost always someone innocent missing from the crime scene. Families all over the city were looking for their children, spouses, brothers or sisters. What didn’t make sense though was there would be people killed at the scene of the crime. They would be cleaned up completely of course but unresponsive. Why in the world would they take one person from each crime committed but kill the rest? Hado would have to look into who exactly was missing.

In the midst of her going over all of the information she was given, she heard the front door open. “I come bearing gifts of food!” She heard Jiro call out. Hado hopped out of the bed and walked out to the kitchen. Jirou was unpacking a couple of bowls with rice, beef, and veggies. There were some sauce packets placed on the counter as well. “I know it isn’t a whole lot but it was the closest place still open” Jiro apologized. “Oh don’t worry about it! This is perfect” Hado reassured her.

They both grabbed their own bowls and filled them with rice, meat, and veggies. They chatted some more about other sound heroes, musicians, and stories from their high school years. After a few more stories Hado decided she would ask about the case they were covering. Jiro straightened up and her smile faded. “These guys are pretty awful” Jiro spoke a little more softly. “There are so many people who have gone missing right under our noses. It’s so frustrating.....” She continued and balled her fists

Hado could empathize. If something bad happened in her town, but she didn’t notice, she would be so angry with herself. She nodded to Jiro. “All the more reason we need to take these guys out”.

Jiro nodded as well. “We better head to bed soon if we want to be as productive as possible tomorrow” Jiro said. Hado agreed and began to clean up her mess. The two cleaned up the left overs and put them away. They headed to bed to hopefully catch some sleep before the chaos of the next day.

Chapter 1   Chapter 3

[andrewberkowitz]

2017 - A Year In Review

I’m not a pessimist, but it sure is hard to find the positives in 2017.  We’ve lived through almost a full year of a sexual predator as our President, seen thousands lose their lives to senseless gun violence, and have had our racial tensions soar to impossibly new heights. Changes are happening every day and sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re even heading in the right direction. The world is scary for everyone right now, and while it’s important to stay vigilant, everyone also deserves a distraction every now and again. Some people sweat out their stress by running marathons, others through hot-yoga, and others through leaving our country all together and traveling the world. My decompression, as it always has been, is through totally immersing myself in the endless abundance that is New Music and dissecting it until the late hours of the night. This year, I was slightly disappointed by the lack of consistency from bands and songwriters. There was no Lemonade to inspire us, no Blonde to lullaby us, and no Life of Pablo to wake us the fuck up. In fact, 2017 feels like the year mainstream rap and pop just took a year off. DAMN. was alright, but overall, I wasn’t compelled by anything that made its way to the Top 50 Charts. So, where does that leave us? With an obscure collection of mostly sad, but beautiful songs that I don’t recommend playing at parties. Grab some tissues, and enjoy. Best Songs of 2017 25. “In Chains” – The War on Drugs Truly almost any song from The War on Drug’s fourth and best album A Deeper Understanding could’ve made the Top 25 list of the year, and I chose “In Chains,” sort of arbitrarily. “Chains” is classic The War on Drugs. A repetitive piano line, grazing synth, and straight-forward percussion chugs the song along until screeching guitars whip us into an incredible chorus that would make Bruce Springsteen diehards sprint down the nearest turnpike at blistering speed. Also, on the topic of The Boss, if the piano solo at the very end is not a blatant ode to “Jungleland,” than I don’t know what is.

24. “The Grocery” – Manchester Orchestra

It’s really hard to include this song by itself because it really belongs as a companion piece to the two-minute “The Sunshine” that proceeds it. In fact, the entire album of A Black Mile To the Surface is such a cohesive album from front to back that it’s hard to appreciate the parts of its sum and not just the whole itself. Alas, if Black Mile is a cohesive narrative, than the “The Grocery” is its epic chapter. After a near death (“you squeeze on the trigger / but all it does is click”), the song builds into an impossibly gorgeous wall of sound, a mix of multiple layers of pitched up vocals, guitars, pianos, and drums. It’s everything, all at once, and it’s freaking awesome.

23. “Through The Roses” – Future Islands Arguably the hardest working person in the business, Sam Herring, frontman of Future Island brings all the emotions to the front on “Through The Roses,” a deep-cut off the AOTY contender The Far Field. Somehow Future Islands always finds a way to make singing about pain so danceable and this is no different. “Through The Roses,” is one of the most emotionally affecting (“it’s not easy being human”) and lyrically vivid (“the cut is waiting / the cut is waxing and it’s cold) songs in his entire catalog, but it will also the one that will get stuck in your head the longest.

22. “Tonite” – LCD Soundsytem

When I first heard this song, I really wanted to hate it. From the jump, we are greeted with a cheesy 80s house beat, SNL-inspired cowbell, and the hyper-processed vocals we're used to hearing in Daft Punk songs. "Tonite" chugs along for four minutes, gradually adding tension with the help of a gorgeous synth line, anxious guitar plucking, and a choir of echo-ing vocal harmonies. In the song's final two minutes, Murphy substitutes his talking for singing and the pay-off is incredible. With lines like “you hate the idea that you’re wasting your youth" and "terrible people know better than you / the use and abuse of the wants of dear listener," you'll be mad at yourself for questioning this incredible song in the first place.

21. “Losing All Sense” – Grizzly Bear

A standout single of the new record, Painted Ruins, “Losing All Sense,” is one of Grizzly Bear’s most accessible songs ever recorded. A bouncy guitar riff pushes along the up-tempo song until a kaleidoscopic chorus takes over, slowing the song down to a crawl as Ed Droste anchors the moment with the thoughtful lyric, “could I ask of you / not to cut into me?” It’s such a great juxtaposition of jingling, upbeat instrumentation and dark lyricism. Not since “Two Weeks” have we seen a Grizzly Bear song this replayable, which is such a nice reprieve from the dense tracks that cover the rest of the album.

20. “Proud” - (Sandy) Alex G

Alex Giannascoli, the prolific Philadelphia singer-songwriter refuses to put himself in a box. In the past half decade, Alex has shown us a multitude of different sides to him, from straightforward lo-fi bedroom folk-rock (Tricks, DSU), to dark, weird indie-rock (Beach Music). On his latest though, Rocket, Alex takes all of his influences, and then some, and throws them into an album that has as many abrasive, screaming experimental-rock songs as it does simple, cozy, alt-country songs. It’s a terrifically weird juxtaposition to hear, but one song that really stands out on the latter side of that spectrum is “Proud,” an incredibly warm, Americana-style song that has Alex strumming cleanly on an acoustic guitar overtop a dancing piano line and a tambourine. It’s such a simple and classic tune you’re going to swear you’ve heard it before. It’s definitely not even close to the most interesting song on Rocket (Check out “Horse” or “Brick” for that), but it’s definitely the most beautiful and replayable, and those are the ones that tend to find their way into my year-end lists.

19. “Supermodel” – SZA

SZA, who absolutely deserves the award for Breakout Artist of the Year, is a co-writer for Rihanna, and on first listen to “Supermodel,” not to mention the rest of the stellar Ctrl, it’s easy to see why. “Supermodel” kicks the album off with a bang, as her vocals carry the song throughout the entire track, twisting and turning in gorgeous fashion, not unlike the cadence one comes to expect with the flows of Young Thug or Frank Ocean. SZA’s lyrics are at the forefront as she sings, clear as day, “I’ve been secretly banging your homeboy,” atop nothing but a few pillow-y guitar chords. Well, shit.

18. “May I Have This Dance” (Remix) – Francis and the Lights ft. Chance The Rapper

Before Chance added a verse to Francis Starlight's, “May I Have This Dance,” it just sounded liked a 80s cheese-pop ode to Peter Gabriel. On the remix, it still sounds like that, but with a much-needed upgrade to freshen it up. Easily one of the most (and only) danceable songs on this list, Francis’s lyrics of “can I say something crazy? / I love you” actually feel authentic and not overly saccharine, which make this song cut deep, if you let it. Chance ends the song with a characteristically fun (ex: “I love you more than you mother”) verse as we’ve come to expect, before the explosive final chorus brings the song to the end. Make sure you check this song out live – Chance and Francis have an adorable dance that goes with it.

17. “Waving Through A Window” - Ben Platt

I’m just gonna say it. If you are not a fan of corny musicals, then go ahead and skip this song. Now that we have the haters gone, I can swoon over the standout hit from 2017’s biggest Broadway musical Dear, Evan Hanson, an incredibly powerful coming-of-age show about bullying, anxiety, suicide, and unrequited love. “Waving Through A Window,” is an immediate hit that may sound like a Top-20 Christian-Pop song (I know) on first listen, but when you really let go of your judgements you can enjoy the song for what is is - one of the catchiest songs of 2017. Just wait until the major-key change at the end – so amazing.

16. “Follow My Voice” – Julie Byrne

There were a lot of solemn, introspective albums released by fearless women this year (Vagabon, Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker, Big Thief, Palehound), and Not Even Happiness by singer-songwriter Julie Byrne is one of the best of the year. “Follow My Voice” is the opening track on the album and also the strongest. An absolutely gorgeous acoustic guitar flutters along as Julie shares what seems to be a moment of tension for her in a relationship (“to me this city is hell / but I know you call it home”). Around halfway through the song, strings are introduced and that’s when the waterworks begin. It’s an absolutely real song about personal sacrifice, insecurity, and love, and you can feel every emotion thanks to Julie’s soaring vocal range.

15. “Cold Apartment” – Vagabon

There’s really no silver lining to this song. “Cold Apartment” is a song about the painful end of relationships and how nothing ever goes as planned. I love how vulnerable Laetitia Tamko is on this track, as she starts the song off with “I know it’s my fault. I gave up on everything.” From there, you are in for a ride of dark and brooding instrumentation and lyrics. While this song elicits the same emotions as Julie Byrne’s “Follow By Voice,” the roaring percussion of “Cold Apartment” at least allows you to take out your anger by punching a wall rather than crying softly into your pillow.

14. “Haley” - Big Thief

“Haley,” a standout track from the Brooklyn quartet Big Thief, is a beautifully, intricate folk-rock song with enough tension and resolution to please the average classical music listener. Overlapping twinkling guitars carry the song as the song’s tempo swells and contracts back and forth, reminiscent of a 1970s Joni Mitchell.

13. “Hunters Gun” – Palehound

“Hunters Gun,” the opening track from Ellen Palehound’s newest album, A Place I’ll Always Go stuck with me the second I heard it. While under two-minutes, “Gun,” packs quite the punch, as a lo-fi crunchy drum mix and simple electric guitar accompany Ellen Kempner’s desperate and painful vocals. As Kempner breath-sings “Don’t come near me, I don’t wanna see your face,” you can literally feel the goosebumps from the horrid scene she’s describing.

12. “Ballad Of A Dying Man” - Father John Misty

Enough has been written on Father John Misty that I don’t feel like I need to give this man more credit than he already gets, but I’d be remiss to leave off a cut from Pure Comedy, the latest output from J. Tillman’s impressive catalog. Like many songs on Pure Comedy, “Ballad Of A Dying Man,” is a sardonic social commentary on modern-day culture, but this time from the perspective of someone who is about to die. “Eventually the dying man takes his final breath / but first checks his news feed to see what he’s about to miss” is classic Tillman, as he sings over a track that is brought together by acoustic guitar, piano and some background gospel singers. It may be easy to roll your eyes at this song but it’s even easier to admire its beauty and genius.

11. “Chanel” - Frank Ocean

“My guy pretty like a girl / and he got fight stories to tell” may be my favorite lyric of the year, and it’s the opening line to Frank Ocean’s stand-alone single “Chanel,” released in March. One of the more braggadocious Frank tracks in recent memory, Ocean’s boasts about sex, money, and fame with a vocal performance that constantly shifts and turns with each new line, from tenor singing to a lower-register rap flow, sometimes even within the same bar. This is Frank at his best, flexing both his singing and rapping muscles while somehow still finding a way to make us to shed a tear while he sings about maxing out his Amex.

10. “Mallwalkers - Fred Thomas

Fred Thomas writes stories and then creates music around them. The Michigan native has written over 20 albums under several different alias’s and all of them are just as raw and impressive as the next. “Mallwakers” is the final song of his latest record Closer and it’s vintage Fred Thomas. A distorted guitar riff and crashing drum beat carry us through a mostly spoken-word narrative that builds and builds as the instrumentation intensifies and progresses. Listening to this song, it appears Fred is not singing for anyone but himself, as he reflects on the boredom and torture of a younger, past life, questing and criticizing something new in every line. Almost every line is simultaneously genius, funny, and heartbreaking all at once, particularly when he calls his high-school peers “horrid hushed hall talkers” and “judge-gabled gawkers.” Fred’s art has always been just as enjoyable to read as it is to listen to it, and “Mallwalkers” is no different.

9. “City of Roses” - Sufjan Stevens

In 2015, Sufjan released Carrie & Lowell, arguably my favorite album of all time. Since then, Sufjan has catapulted himself into a rare space of artists I believe can literally do no wrong (joining Justin Vernon and that’s about it). In 2017, he released the Planetarium LP, a Carrie & Lowell live album, contributed two songs to the fantastic Call Me By Your Name movie, and most recently, released The Greatest Gift, a Carrie & Lowell B-Side alum. Within the latest releases, we have been blessed with dozens of new Sufjan tracks that belong on this list, but the one I’m choosing to include is “City of Roses,” a short, addictive ode to one of Sufjan’s favorite cities, Portland. Unlike most of the sad, autobiographical tunes from Carrie, “City of Roses” is a refreshing reprieves of positivity, yet one that doesn’t sacrifice any beauty along the way. Reminiscent of Illinois-style folk rock, Sufjan admits, “I’ve had it enough with the east coast,” as he begins his trek to the beautiful Pacific Northwest. This song is short and sweet enough it will quickly reach it’s way to your most-played list before you know it.

8. “Real Death” - Mount Eerie

On July 9, 2016, Phil Elvirum’s wife died from pancreatic cancer. On March 24, 2017, A Crow Looked At Me was released, an album that pretty much chronicles in real time the aftermath, mourning and pain that Phil went through and continues to go through following her death. There has truly never been an album quite like this. It’s a rare, rare inside look to the unspeakable truth of what it feels like to lose the one you love and be left alone to raise your two-year old daughter on your own. “Real Death” is the first song off Mount Eerie’s arguably unlistenable, yet Album of the Year A Crow Looked At Me. All metaphor is stripped away, as Phil leads the song with the immortal words, “Death is real / Someone’s there and then they’re not / And it’s not for singing about / It’s not for making into art. When real death enters the house all poetry is dumb.” The language alone to describe his loss (“crusted with tears / catatonic and raw”) is enough to make you cringe and threaten to press the skip button. There really is no reward to listening to this song. But it’s real and it makes me feel things. And it’s the 8th best song of the year.

7. “Hey K” - Passion Pit

If you didn’t know, Passion Pit secretly self-released an album this year in March called Tremendous Sea of Love and it’s actually one of my favorite albums of the year. Despite my enjoyment of being in the minority of people who have been exposed to this album, I think it’s worth sharing a piece of the magic from the album in the form of “Hey K,” the most beautiful arrangement Michael Angelakos has composed to date. Warm, dreamy ambient synthscapes that we’re used to hearing from Passion Pit glisten and swell with twinkly pianos as Angelako’s familiar, yet slightly processed tenor glides us through the track.  While the track is directly aimed toward Michael’s ex Kristina Mucci, it is actually an exquisite love-song; a song of appreciation for what they had and will always have.

6. “Pageant” - PWR BTTM

I know I shouldn’t be writing about PWR BTTM because of the allegations against frontman Ben Hopkins, but I can’t help myself and include “Pageant,” --- the centerpiece of the same-titled 2017 record that never even saw the light of the day --- on my list. This is one of those songs that just stuck with me the second I heard it. The way in which Ben’s voice awkwardly bends along with the off-tempo melody of the acoustic guitar, the way in which their voice feels like it’s on the verge of breaking apart at any moment, and the way in which it does break apart at the end, all before an electric guitar takes the song to its natural conclusion. To me, it’s a perfect song and it’s a shame the song never actually got to see the light of day. In fact, good luck even finding this song on the internet.

5. “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness” – The National

How long have National fans been waiting for a song like this? After just about two decades of subtle, textured, mellow, down-tempo rock songs, the National reward its fans with “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness,” an urgent, thunderous, accessible stand-alone single that fucking rips. “I can’t explain it any other way,” says Berninger, and I have to agree. This song --- along with Aaron Dessner’s gross guitar solo in the middle of the song --- is simply one of the most fun, aggressive, cathartic National songs ever recorded. It’s up there with “Mr. November” as one of the all-time best too, and that’s saying a lot.

4. “Intrepid” – Pinegrove

Pinegrove know how to tangle your heart into a ball, play with it, and then give it back at the exact moment you’re about to curl over and die. “Intrepid,” the single off the supposedly titled Skylight supposedly out in March, is a call-back to the lo-fi days from Everything So Far. On the first couple listens to this song, it’s actually quite unassuming. Evan’s vocals are tucked neatly into the back of the mix, as clean guitars ring out over a tense percussive back. At times, Evan’s voice becomes more pronounced as he screams, “well the way I spent my winter / I wonder” but then almost immediately, he and the music pulls back, and leaves us wanting so much more. What feels like a frustrating tug and pull of tension with no real resolution during the lengthy and repetitive middle section soon makes sense when it transitions to its fateful conclusion. The tempo slows, then quickens, then slows, and then quickens again. Finally, the intensifying vocals and guitars swelter until they can’t take it anymore and we are greeted with a climatic, harmonious resolution all packed within a single chord. It’s a song that really takes a while to sink in, but once it does, you will not be able to stop hitting repeat.

3. “Orange Colored Queen” - Ty Segall

Ty Segall is a legend. If you don’t know him, he’s a singer-songwriter who has released 10 albums in the past 10 years, and that’s just counting the ones under his own name. He is a naturally gifted songsmith, who, at his best, has a really classic sound whose influences range across The Beatles, The Kinks, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, to Queen. At his most interesting though, you can find Ty Segall crossdressing, wearing a mask and screaming nonsense into a microphone for five-minutes. “Orange Colored Queen” though, of literally the 200+ Ty Segall songs is probably the most straightforward and down-to-earth he has ever sounded. Starting with a beautiful and lazy guitar line, Ty eases us into the song before soon enough at the :50 second mark the track doubles in time, the drums kick in, and we are in paradise. I have a hard time describing this song because it’s such a simple and basic pop song that it really just needs to be heard, similar to any Beatles song you’d find on One. When a song is this good and this simple, you don’t ask questions – you just listen.

2. Appointments” - Julien Baker

Ok, so first, if you know me, I tend to be attracted to certain songs that have a specific formula to them. One of my favorite formulas is this: Quiet, atmospheric piano-driven ballad with introspective lyrics slowly builds to an anthemic, explosive, and deeply cathartic (key word) climax and that leaves you stuck in your chair for a bit after it’s over. Some of my favorite songs of all time employ this formula of slow start → rising action → climax. “Exit Music (For A Film)” does this well, “Ultralight Beam” does this well,” “I Dreamed A Dream” does this well. “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.” does this well. Well, Julien Baker, welcome to the club.

“Appointments” is that formula perfectly executed, with a twinkling guitar repeating throughout the song atop a timid piano line. As Julien reflects on a destructive relationship, the song slowly but surely starts to pick up pace, until eventually the music drops out altogether. After echoing and overlapping vocals fill up the instrumental void, the piano and guitar suddenly come back, this time with Julien belting the final refrain like it’s her final moments on earth, screaming, “maybe it’s all gonna turn out all right / oh, I know that it’s not, but I have to believe that it is.” It’s a powerful ending to a song that seems to bring as much healing to the listener as it does for Julien herself.

1. “Blanket Me” – Hundred Waters

Like I said in the Julie Byrne review, this year was rich in providing deeply powerful introspective indie-ballads from extremely talented frontwomen. “Blanket Me” was a song I discovered this year at a time when I really needed comfort and it really provided me the warmth I longed for. Just like its name, “Blanket Me,” is the feeling of locking yourself in a room, lying on the floor, wrapping yourself like a burrito in blankets, and blasting your favorite song until you sink deep into the floor. And if you think I’m being dramatic, go ahead and press play. The lyrics literally read “gone under, capsized and sinking” before she screams, “blanket me” literally 81 times (I counted). On top of the repeating lyrics, you get absolutely smothered by noise, as you are met with waves of vibrating synths, explosive drum fills, and a choir of pitched-up electronic vocals. There is so much going on at once that it’s hard to separate one sound from the other. It’s totally immersive, visceral, and above all, comforting. “Blanket Me” is the best song of two thousand and seventeen.

Full List:

1. “Blanket Me” - Hundred Waters 2. “Appointments” - Julien Baker 3. “Orange Colored Queen” - Ty Segall 4. “Intrepid” - Pinegrove 5. “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness" - The National 6. “Pageant” - PWR BTTM 7. “Hey K” - Passion Pit 8. “Real Death” - Mount Eerie 9. “City of Roses” - Sufjan Stevens 10. “Mallwalkers - Fred Thomas 11. “Chanel” - Frank Ocean 12. “Ballad Of A Dying Man” - Father John Misty 13. “Hunters Gun” - Palehound 14. “Haley” - Big Thief 15. “Cold Apartment” - Vagabon 16. “Follow My Voice” - Julie Byrne 17. “Waving Through A Window” - Ben Platt 18. “May I Have This Dance” - Francis and the Lights ft. Chance The Rapper 19. “Supermodel” - SZA 20. “Proud” - (Sandy) Alex G 21. “Tonite” - LCD Soundsystem 22. “Losing All Sense” - Grizzly Bear 23. “Through The Roses” - Future Islands 24. “The Grocery” - Manchester Orchestra 25. “In Chains” - The War on Drugs 26. “Motion Sickness” - Phoebe Bridgers 27. “Man of War” - Radiohead 28. “Guilty Party” - The National 29. “You Have The Right” - Passion Pit 30. “LOL” - PWR BTTM 31. “DNA” - Kendrick Lamar 32. “Evening Prayer” - Jens Lekman 33. “Charlie” - Alison Crutchfield 34. “Half A Million” - The Shins 35. “Reactionary” - Fred Thomas 36. “A Slow, Slow Death” - Los Campesinos 37. “Ran in Soho” - The Mountain Goats 38. “George Washington” - Why? 39. “Over Everything” - Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile 40. “Mercury” - Sufjan Stevens, James Mcallister, Aaron Dessner, Nico Muhley 41. “The Greatest Gift” - Sufjan Stevens 42. “Blood On Me” - Sampha 43. “Darkened Rings” - Cloud Nothings 44. “Third of May / Odaigahara" - Fleet Foxes 45. “Total Entertainment Forever” - Father John Misty 46. “Kill Jill” - Big Boy, Killer Mike, Jeezy 47. “What I Want” - Cende 48. “Radio” - Sylvan Esso 49. “American Dream” - LCD Soundsystem 50. “Take Care (To Comb Your Hair)” - Ty Segall 51. “Keep Your Name” - The Dirty Projectors 52. “Dogs” - Pile 53. “Say Something Loving” - The XX 54. “Gone Beyond” - Peter Silberman 55. “Creature Comfort” - The Arcade Fire 56. “How Do You Sleep?” - LCD Soundsystem 57. “Look At Your Hands” - tUnE-yArDs 58. “Tonya Harding (in Eb major)” - Sufjan Stevens 59. “Taste” – Rhye 60. “Sugar For The Pill” – Slowdive Best Albums of 2017 1. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me 2. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights 3. The National - Sleep Well Beast 4. The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding 5. Passion Pit - Tremendous Sea of Love 6. Future Islands - The Far Field 7. Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile To The Sun 8. Father John Misty - Pure Comedy 9. Sylvan Esso - What Now 10. Grizzly Bear - Painted Ruins 11. Los Campesinos - Sick Scenes 12. Fred Thomas - Changer 13. The Mountain Goats - Goths 14. James McAlister, Bryce Dessen, Sufjan Stevens, Nico Muhly - Planetarium 15. WHY? - Moh Lhean

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. I hope you at least learned one new song or album that can bring deep emotion into your life. Below is a Spotify Playlist of every song except for PWR BTTM and Ty Segall. 2018, bring it on. Playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/user/andrewberkowitz/playlist/1v9fNU9V2foTnGu7LOjspO

[ryukoishida]

Arslan Senki Fandom Day [Encounter] | In which top idol!Gieve and folk-rock musician!Isfan collaborate.

Written for Arslan Senki Fandom Day 2017 – [Encounter]

Title: Primadonna and the Piano Man [Part I] Author: ryukoishida Character(s)/Pairing(s): Isfan/Gieve Summary: This is the story of how one of the nation’s top idol Gieve and bestselling folk-rock musician Isfan meet (and eventually fall in love). [Idol/Musician!AU] Rating: T Warning: N/A A/N: Yes, I’m writing that self-indulgent AU that nobody cares for again. Sue me. Also this got too long so I’m splitting it into two parts. Sorry.

---

Sing When You’re in Love Series:

i. We Sing We Dance We Steal Hearts ii. We Sing We Dance We Fall in Love iii. Untitled iv. This Storm, It’s Coming v. I’m Yours (and so are they) vi. Primadonna and the Piano Man [Prequel] [Part I | Part II]

---

“It’s impossible.”

“But Isfan—”

“There’s no way in hell—”

The agitated fingers on the fretboard dance in an even more erratic rhythm, his right hand strumming harder in a frail attempt to drown out his well-meaning manager’s desperate plead. The chords reverberate raucously within one of the soundproof practice rooms in the core building of Ecbatana Entertainment Productions.

“Will you put away your guitar and just listen to me for one moment, please?” Lucian, hair swept back into a half-ponytail and streaked with silver-grey, frowns disapprovingly, the lines around his eyes deepening as he leans against the wall with a rumbling sigh.

Isfan is usually one of the more easygoing artists to deal with in the company, but being the manager of this particular singer-songwriter — infamous in the music industry for being exceedingly serious and painstakingly methodical when it comes to his compositions and lyrics-writing, as well as being a little too opinionated about the idol culture, among other controversies — for the last few years, Lucian has seen him at his worst.

Trying to convince him to collaborate with one of the nation’s top idol, as Lucian soon discovers, turns out to be even more of a challenge than he’s initially anticipated.

“According to Farangis, he’s the one who personally wants to invite you for this collaboration,” Lucian’s mouth curves up in amusement as he continues, “apparently, he likes, and I quote, ‘the impossible way he can tug at my heartstrings while playing the piano with such a straight face and singing about a haunted ship and dead lovers’.”

Isfan snorts in reply. So, that man has done his homework after all, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s an arrogant, flippant man with over-the-top make-up and even stranger hairstyle that seems to change every time he appears for an event or talk show (not that Isfan had been paying any particular attention) who dares to call himself a musician, when all he seems to be capable of doing is dancing to mainstream pop and singing such cliché, sickly saccharine love songs the lyrics of which may as well have been written by a sixth-grader bearing their first crush.

If there’s one thing he detests the most in the world, it’s crudely-crafted, shallow combinations of words that disguised themselves as lyrics.      

“Have you ever seen him perform?” Lucian can practically see the weaving pathways in his protégé’s brain busily working out this disaster of an idea.

“How long have you known me, Lucian?” he asks, quirking up an eyebrow, the answer clear as day.

“You haven’t,” Lucian announces with quiet triumph, “then maybe you shouldn’t judge him so harshly. I’ve seen footage of his performances when he was still with his previous idol unit and I’ve got to say, that boy’s got charisma and one hell of a voice.”

Isfan’s responding hum is brisk and non-committed.

Lucian was the one who discovered him in a local bar and restaurant when he had been working part-time, performing mellower versions of top 40 hits on a tiny stage in a dimmed corner for patrons who hardly paid attention to him or his music, to support his last year of college. When the music producer approached him, business card and genuine smile intact, Isfan was still suspicious of the stranger’s intent until he recognized the face and voice of the famous rock musician who had been most active about two decades ago, and Isfan only knew of him because his elder brother Shapur was a huge fan and would constantly play Lucian’s CDs in the car and at home.

It has been five years since then, and Isfan has learned very early on to trust Lucian. Not only was Lucian a talented musician back in his prime years, but he’s also a capable manager who understand his charge's needs and tries his hardest to accommodate Isfan’s wishes whenever possible. Of course, there had also been times when they had their disagreements, but these were rare and far in between, and during the few instances that happened, Lucian had made the right calls.

Isfan would trust his career and future in Lucian’s hands, but this collaboration will surely end in nothing but a catastrophe — a catastrophe Isfan would rather avoid at all costs.  

Attempting his best to put on an optimistic air, Lucian starts again, “I’ve already arranged everything with his manager; all we need is for you two to find some time to get together during the next few weeks to work on the single.”

“I’m too busy,” Isfan immediately replies with a hint of a smug grin.

“I cleared out your schedule,” Lucian smiles back pleasantly, knowing exactly how the singer-songwriting will counter.  

“But I need the time to work on my new materials,” Isfan protests.

“And how are those new songs coming along?” Lucian asks pointedly.

“…”

He doesn’t mention the scrawled-out melodies on crumpled pieces of paper or the many deleted or discarded samples on his laptop. Lucian probably already knows and is just saving Isfan from embarrassing himself.  

“That’s what I figure. Look, you know I always respect your talent and artistic freedom,” Lucian says.

“Then you understand that it takes time to craft something that’s better than the previous album,” Isfan mumbles, fingers mindlessly plucking the strings in a nameless melody.

“I understand perfectly,” Lucian reassures him with a grim expression, “but don’t forget that the music industry is still business to the higher-ups. They only care about the results and profits, and at the rate you’re going right now, you’re not giving them anything. It has been more than six months since you’ve released any new content; the fans may be patient enough to wait for you, but the company is less forgiving.”

That’s one thing Isfan dislikes being a contracted artist at a major label; everything is about money, money, money. It’s not that he doesn’t understand their side, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling the frustration and unease roiling in his chest that can only be assuaged by banging loudly on a drum-set. Percussion is not his strength, but it sure feels satisfying.

“Even…” Isfan glances up at his manager, fingers slowing down the strumming, “even if I were to work on a collaboration, does it have to be him?”

Seeing a crack gradually opening up, Lucian quickly takes advantage, “You might not see it now, but perhaps he’s the spark of inspiration you need to get you moving forward.”

“You think?” Isfan sounds doubtful.

“It’ll be beneficial for both parties,” Lucian nods with a relieved smile, “I’m sure of it.”

-

Isfan isn’t sure of anything anymore.

He pauses before the door of the studio, sharp topaz eyes glancing through the glass only to spot an unfamiliar figure inside: the young man donned in a knitted sweater half a size too big for his frame and skinny jeans that accentuates the length of his legs is sitting on the plastic chair and plucking the strings of his acoustic guitar delicately, dark purple hair the shade of twilight bunched up with hairclips to keep forelocks from blocking his sight, a pair of plastic, black-rimmed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose and making his eyes impossibly green, and he’s solely focused on the scattered sheets on the music stand.

Isfan checks the room number again to make sure he’s at the right place.

He is.

His grip on the strap of his guitar case tightens a degree, and then he knocks on the door two times. Without waiting for an invitation to come in, he turns the knob and lets himself into the studio with confident steps, a challenging glint in his eyes, and firm line to his lips.

The man with the obnoxious purple hair looks up, eyes widening in surprise as if he hasn’t expected any guests even though they have arranged this meeting just two days prior.

“Damn, those MVs didn’t do you any justice. At all.”

“Excuse me?”

This is clearly a mistake, Isfan thinks as he walks up to the man who still has a guitar in his lap. Isfan’s height easily towers over the other man’s, but he seems nonchalant about the intimidating aura Isfan’s body language is emitting.  

“It’s a compliment,” he explains with a flirtatious grin as he pulls himself up after placing his guitar on a nearby stand, and with how close they’re standing, he has to crane his neck a little to stare at Isfan straight in the eyes, sea-green irises bold and unafraid. “I’m Gieve. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope we’ll be able to work well together.”

The folk-rock musician is ready to either throw a punch at the idol’s incredibly pretty face and risk getting yelled at by Lucian, or pull him in and kiss that insufferable smirk away. He chooses to do neither; instead, inhaling deeply in an attempt to calm himself down, he pulls a chair over, folds himself into the seat elegantly, and begins to take out his instrument and some notes he’s made beforehand — lyrics ideas and snippets of melodies he’d been working on that might act as starting points for this collaboration.

He’s a professional, Isfan reminds himself like a chant, he’s a professional and he’ll act like one, and he will not let this damn idol get the better of him with his terrible flowery rhetoric or his dazzling smile that has successfully slain thousands of fanboys and fangirls all over the country.

“Isfan,” he coldly introduces himself and presses his lips tightly together without another word.

“Oh, a little shy, are we?” Gieve takes his seat and picks up his guitar once more, fingers idly caressing the strings as a gentle series of notes begin to form and flow like a small creek drifting smoothly over pebbles warmed by the sun in the depth of summer.

Isfan is about to open his mouth to snap a retort, but he’s genuinely surprised by the strange complexity of the chords and notes weaving together into this seemingly light and buoyant tune, so much so that his fingers are trembling slightly as they crave to touch the cool, ivory keys of a piano to play the harmony to accompany the sweet melody of the guitar.

“You wrote that?” Isfan asks when Gieve stops abruptly, breaking the brunet’s trance.

“Still tinkering with it.”

“It’s… it’s good,” he’s staring at the music stand when he says it, his eyes not quite meeting Gieve’s.

“That was really difficult for you to admit, wasn’t it?” Gieve grins knowingly, and the expression only grows more imminent when he sees Isfan’s cheeks staining red at being found out. He stands up once more and stalks towards Isfan, almost like a predator, the sharp gleam in his eyes merciless, though a small smile still curves along his lips as he closes the gap between them. “What? You think I got to this point in my career just by looking pretty and knowing how to dance and sing? Don’t look down on idol culture, Isfan. A lot of us worked hard since we were teenagers, and less than half of us would even make it past the eliminations to get a chance to perform on stage. So, if you think I’m just going to let you push me around while we’re working on this project because you think you’re more musically superior to me or whatever, you better think again.”  

Their faces are mere inches away from each other’s, and Isfan can feel Gieve’s frenzied, heated breaths against his cheek, his sea-green eyes brightened from agitation. Isfan gulps, gaze unable to rip away from the idol’s intense stare, and when he finally realizes they’ve remained in this awkward position for way too long, he shoves the idol away by the shoulders, causing Gieve to stumble a few steps back into a safe distance.

“Did you only invite me for the collab just so you can give me a lecture?” Isfan mutters darkly, “If so, then well-fucking-done. Shall I see myself out now that you’re finished?”

He begins to stuff his guitar back into the case, but a hand wrapped firmly around his forearm makes him freeze.

“Calm down,” Gieve laughs and let go of Isfan’s arm when the brunet sends him a glare, his previous irritation seeming to have dissipated without a trace, his smile once more bright and harmless if a little too cunning. “I didn’t know what I was expecting, but given the theatrical lyrics you write, I should have guessed that you’re as melodramatic as they come.”

It looks like Isfan is about to protest again but Gieve is quicker, “Look, the reason why I want to collaborate with you is because I truly admire your music and tenacity to strive for perfection. I’ll be frank with you: I’m sick of always doing dance pop and being assumed that I can only do one genre of music; I want to do something new, something unexpected and exciting that would make the fans happy. What about you?”

Gieve settles back on his chair, cradling his guitar and strumming a chord with practiced hand.

“What do you mean?”

The idol’s gaze is unsettling, yet Isfan is unable to look away.

“What do you want out of this collaboration?”

He thinks back to the past six months when he tried to write and rewrite so many melodies, none of them to his satisfaction, each seeming to be missing a piece, lacking the passion, the energy, and the soul of his previous works. He’d locked himself in the studio for hours on end; he’d travelled to the countryside to get inspiration and peace; he’d even attempted to write after he’d gotten himself drunk just enough to be tipsy and his emotions were allowed to burst forth onto blank pages without his usual constraint.

None of those had worked.

He sits up straight and clears his throat.

“I want to move forward with my music; I want to transform what I’ve achieved before and turn it into something different but still irrevocably me…” Isfan has never imagined that telling Gieve, of all people, would feel like this — as if he’s sharing this insurmountable pressure and frustration that he’d been unable to disclose to anyone else because he’d always been able to handle this on his own.

But this is a collaboration; he has a partner this time, and it looks like Gieve is just as ambitious and driven as he is in this regard.  

“So, it seems like we have a similar goal,” Gieve’s smile grows wider, almost scheming.

“It would seem so, yes,” Isfan is still wary of the other man’s intention but he’s willing to hear him out for now.

“I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s go big or go home. So why don’t we aim for our song to reach the number one spot in the Pars Top 40 chart?”

[certainheartrunaway]

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Ready to discover all these signals hiding in your spectrum?

Unrivalled Noise Reduction Processing

We spent a lot of time understanding RF noise, its structure, and how it interacts with legitimate signals. Today, we have one of the most flexible and acoustically pleasant noise reduction algorithms of the market. The applications range from high-fidelity hiss removal for Broadcast FM signals, to unburying weak SSB signals from the noise floor. Our algorithm doesn’t kill the highs to give you a false impression of loudness, yet it doesn’t have the typical high tone artifacts that plague popular noise reduction algorithms like LMS and Spectral Subtraction. Here’s a very weak SSB signal in the 40m band, with and without our Digital Noise Reduction

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Audio signal without processing:

Audio signal with our Digital Noise Reduction processing:

State of the Art SDR streaming technology!

We concentrated state of the art DSP and networking techniques into our SpyServer software to allow multiple users to stream high quality IQ data from the same receiver at the same time. No compromises in the quality were made like it is usually done in Web SDR interfaces. You get actual IQ data you can process with your plugins and extract the last bit of information out of it. The server software is highly scalable and can run on computers as small as the $7 Orange Pi Zero to top end 64bit servers with multiple cores/cpus, including the popular Raspberry Pi series.

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HF Tuner

Airspy HF+ Discovery achieves excellent HF performance by means of a low-loss preselection filter, high linearity LNA, high linearity tunable RF filter, a polyphase harmonic rejection (HR) mixer that rejects up to the 21st harmonic and multi-stage analog and digital IF filtering. The 6 dB-stepped AGC gain is fully controlled by the software running in the DSP which optimizes the gain distribution in real time for optimal sensitivity and linearity. Harmonic rejection is a key issue in wide band HF receivers because of the large input signal bandwidth of the input signal. The output of the IF-filter is then digitalized by a high dynamic range sigma delta IF ADC for further signal processing in the digital domain.

VHF Tuners

Excellent FM performance is also achieved by using optimized signal paths composed of band filters, high linearity LNAs with a stepped AGC, a polyphase harmonic rejection mixer and IF filters optimized for the FM broadcast bands. The amplifier gain is switchable in 3 dB-steps and fully controlled by the AGC running in the DSP. The RF signal is converted to baseband by a high linearity passive mixer with a polyphase harmonic rejection structure. The low-IF signal is then converted into the digital domain by the same IF ADC used in the HF chain. Extended VHF coverage is assured by a second Band-III tuner up to 260 MHz, but with reduced performance.

IF Sampling

The IF analog to digital converter (ADC) is a 4th order multi-bit noise shaping topology; it features very high dynamic range and linearity. The IF-ADC sampling rate is determined by a control algorithm running in the embedded DSP. This advanced technique adjusts the sampling rate depending on the tuning frequency with the goal of avoiding the disturbances and spurs generated by the switching discrete-time sections of the IF-ADC.

Digital Down Converter

Once the IF signal is digitalized, the high sample rate I/Q stream is then frequency translated and processed with cascaded CIC and FIR decimation stages. After every stage, the sample rate is reduced and the resolution increased. The final signal at the output has 18bit resolution and an alias rejection performance of 108 dBc. The data is then scaled to 16bit and sent to the Micro-Controller for streaming over USB.

Architectural Advantages

The main advantages over techniques from the legacy super-heterodynes up to the now mainstream direct sampling is that the whole receiver chain is well protected against out of band blockers while still relaxing the RF filtering constraints, making it simple and cost effective. The natural filtering of the sigma-delta ADC combined with the excellent linearity and sensitivity of the analog chain reaches an unprecedented level of performance and integration.

Use it over the network!

Connect as many SDR applications as needed to the HF+ Discovery, over the Internet or in your own local network with near zero latency thanks to the new SPY Server software. This setup basically brings all the flexibility of Web based SDRs while still benefiting from the full power of desktop applications. The IQ data is processed in the server with state of the art DSP and only the required chunk of spectrum is sent over the network. What is sent is the actual IQ signal, not compressed audio. This means you can use all your favorite plugins to process the IF, eliminate noise and perform heavy lifting of the signals as you are used to do with locally connected SDR’s. We have a tradition of building multi-tools, so we made sure the SPY Server runs on 32/64bit Windows and Linux on Intel and ARM processors without any compromises. Low cost Raspberry Pi 3 and Odroid boards are in the party.

Technical specifications

HF coverage between 0.5 kHz .. 31 MHz

VHF coverage between 60 .. 260 MHz

-140.0 dBm (0.02 µV / 50 ohms at 15MHz) MDS Typ. at 500Hz bandwidth in HF

-141.5 dBm MDS Typ. at 500 Hz bandwidth in FM Broadcast Band (64 – 118 MHz)

-141.0 dBm MDS Typ. at 500 Hz bandwidth in VHF Aviation Band (118 – 260 MHz)

+15 dBm IIP3 on HF at maximum gain

+13 dBm IIP3 on VHF at maximum gain

110 dB blocking dynamic range (BDR) in HF

95 dB blocking dynamic range (BDR) in VHF

150+ dB combined selectivity (hardware + software)

120 dB Image Rejection (software)

Polyphase Tracking filters for close range interference suppression

New High Performance Pre-selector for HF with 4 filter banks (corners at ~DC, 5, 10, 17 and 31 MHz)

New High Performance Pre-selector for VHF (Air, HAM, Commercial and Military VHF)

New High Performance Pre-selector for the FM band (Japan, US, EU, OIRT)

Up to 660 kHz alias and image free output for 768 ksps IQ

18 bit Embedded Digital Down Converter (DDC)

22 bit Resolution at 3 kHz channel using State of the Art DDC (SDR# and SDR-Console)

+10 dBm Maximum RF input

0.5 ppm high precision, low phase noise clock

1 PPB frequency adjustment capability

Very low phase noise PLL (-110 dBc/Hz @ 1kHz separation @ 100 MHz)

Best Noise reduction of the market using state of the art algorithms

2 x High Dynamic Range Sigma Delta ADCs @ up to 36 MSPS

Single RF Input to cover all bands with High Linearity switching

Improved input matching down to virtually DC

Smart AGC with real time optimization of the gain distribution for Best SNR in all situations

No drivers required! 100% Plug-and-play on Windows Vista, Seven, 8, 8.1 and 10

Industrial Operating Temperature: -45°C to 85°C

Ultra small Form Factor: 45 x 60 x 10 mm

Typical Applications

High Performance Networked HF/VHF Radio

Ham Radio (HF + 2m)

Short Wave Listening (SWL)

AM DX

FM DX

VHF-L TV DX

Remote Telemetry Radio Receiver

Low Bands IoT

Product Limitation

While the in-band performance of the Band-III tuner is excellent, it will require some filtering for very strong out of band signals at multiples of the tuned frequency.

An RF isolator is required when using long wire antennas with a PC with moderate EMI protection.

Supported Software

The gold standard SDR#

The other excellent SDR suite, SDR-Console

The Suiss-army SDR knife for Linux and Mac, GQRX

Network server for use with SdrDx for Mac, AirspyHF+ Mac Server

All ExtIO based software (HDSDR, Studio1, etc.) via ExtIO by Hayati Ayguen

All ExtIO based software (HDSDR, Studio1, etc.) via ExtIO by Andrea Montefusco

Check the full list of tools in our download page

Supported Operating Systems

Windows Vista, 7, 8, 8.1 and 10

Linux

*BSD

OSX

Supported Hardware

Intel compatible PC

Raspberry Pi 2 and 3

Odroid C1, C2 and XU4

Many other Single Board Computers (SBC)

Minimum hardware requirements

1GHz Pentium or ARM

1GB of RAM (to run your own OS, HF+ barely needs 1MB of memory)

High speed USB 2.0 controller

Fully Open-Source driver

Open source, multi-platform user mode driver libairspyhf on github

Firmware Updates

R2.0.0 2019-05-02 (Changelog)

  We are pleased to announce the availability of the Airspy HF+ Discovery on pre-order.

Details:https://t.co/Cmfg0qCMc0

Airspy Fans Coupon: AIRSPY2019https://t.co/VdEQSEG4Ndhttps://t.co/jusDbIK58Z#Retweet to win a free unit! pic.twitter.com/s5EDx92jxb

— prog’ (@lambdaprog) May 23, 2019

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The post Airspy HF+ Discovery on pre-order appeared first on QRZ NOW - Amateur Radio News.

from DXER ham radio news http://bit.ly/2HyYVfJ via IFTTT

[penguinsnoot]

Self-Care Tips from Someone Who Sucks at Self-Care (Part 2)

Part 1

In my last post, I listed some basic self-care tips and then proceeded to talk about them way too much. Guess what? I’m about to do that again. The difference between this post and the previous one is that the first one focused more on stuff that would mostly impact and improve physical health and this post is going to focus more on things to help you relax when you’re feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, etc. (but still have positive physical outcomes). Of course, these things may not work for everyone since everyone is different, but the main point of this is to at least give you ideas that can lead to you being more relaxed. Without further ado, here’s Self-Care Tips Part 2: Relaxing Edition. 

Read | If you’re looking for a way do escape reality and avoid the problems of our messed up world for a while, read a good book! Or two, or three, or four. . .or more. . . Reading stimulates your brain, reduces stress, improves memory, provides entertainment, and can even lower your heart rate and muscle tension (help you relax). This may not be a cure-for-all solution, but reading truly is good for your brain and emotional state, so if you ever feel wound up and like everything is going wrong, stop, take a deep breath, and sit down on a comfortable chair and read. Getting away from the world for a while is sometimes better than facing your problems head-on immediately. You will still have to deal with them eventually, but you’re not likely to get anything done properly when you’re too stressed to function. Read a good book and let your worries melt away, at least temporarily. 

Listen to Soothing Music | If reading isn’t your thing (don’t knock it ‘til you try it), maybe music is. Listening to music, especially soothing music such as jazz, classical, acoustic, etc., can improve your mood, help you sleep better, and lower stress levels. There’s really nothing better than laying in bed with natural light coming in through the window and reading a good book with soft piano music playing in the background. Sometimes tuning out the world with earbuds in is more beneficial than parents encouraging us to go and hang out with other people realize (though being social is important, but more on that in another post).

Nap | I talked about sleep in my last post and I’m going to do it again, because it’s important. If you find that you have trouble sleeping at night or you’re losing energy quickly because life is just really damn draining sometimes, silence the notifications on your phone, turn off the TV and lights, and take a nap. Experts have found that napping helps reduce stress (are you seeing a pattern in the things I’m suggesting yet?), improve mood, perception, creativity, and memory, and boost alertness. When we’re tired, our bodies don’t function as well as they should, so if you can find the time, definitely lay down and catch up on some Zs. You’ll be amazed at how easily adding almost daily naps to your routine will improve your physical and mental/emotional health. 

Write | When I say write, I don’t mean break out the textbooks and peer reviewed articles to write a six-paged essay for your Psychology class. No, no, no. . . I mean write for pleasure. Whether you write a poem, short story, journal entry, or an entire novel, your creative juices will be flowing and your vocabulary skills will strengthen greatly. Writing can be a fantastic outlet for letting out all your frustrations and worries in life.  If you write even just a little every day, you will continuously be working on an essential skill used in school and most (if not all) places of work, so not only will you be doing something that can increase happiness levels and reduce stress levels but you’ll also be upgrading your value in the workplace. How’s that for throwing stones at a bird? That’s how that expression goes, right? Hmm. . .

Watch Cute Animal Videos | This will heal literally any problem you have (not really). What better way to spend an evening after a stressful day of school/work/family interaction/running errands than to wrap up in a warm, fuzzy blanket and watch cute bunnies hop around and eat leafy greens? Obviously this is something that’s more of a personal appeal suggestion than something everyone would enjoy, but if you’re sad or angry or just done with the world, why not give it a shot? Sometimes all we need in life to feel whole again is to watch cute videos of puppies and kittens cuddling. Honestly, what could be better?

Soak in a Hot Bath | Hot water relaxes the body and helps you fall asleep faster, relieves muscle tension and sinus problems, lowers anxiety, and more. Taking a hot bath right before bed will make curling up under the covers feel like absolute heaven, especially if you sleep naked (which has its own health benefits). After a straining and draining day, running a hot bath can be the perfect remedy. Fill up your tub, throw in a bath bomb or some bath salts, turn on some smooth jazz, and soak in the water for a little while. Just make sure to clean your tub first. 

Masturbate | Maybe don’t do this if there are other people in the house and you don’t have a lock on your door, because there’s a good chance of you getting caught (I’ve had a few close calls in the past), but if you can find somewhere private and appropriate (please don’t do this in a public space) to rub one off, do it. Masturbating reduces sexual tension and stress, helps you sleep, and relieves cramps and headaches. Not everyone may be comfortable doing this, but I’m going to tell you right now that there is no better way to build confidence in yourself than to explore your own body and figure out what brings you pleasure. Waiting around for someone else to do it for you can lead to some lackluster sex in the future (according to my mom; I have no personal experience with sex, but masturbation is great, I highly recommend it). 

Cry | Watching bunny videos and listening to Kenny G won’t always be what you need. Sometimes the best way to relax is to cry all your frustration, sadness and stress out. Crying releases toxins and reduces emotional stress by getting rid of stress hormones and other chemicals that negatively affect the body. Crying every day, for no apparent reason, however, can be a sign of severe distress, depression, or some other mental illness that should be treated. It’s okay to cry when you feel overwhelmed or like your emotions are clogging up, so don’t be afraid to curl up on your side and sob like your life is ending. You may end up feeling better than ever once you’re done, because not only will you have let everything out, but you’ll also be able to think more clearly once all of those negative emotions have been flushed out of you. 

Play with Makeup | This one probably seems silly, but I mean it: play with makeup. Whether that means swatching all your eye shadows and highlighters for the 10th time or doing a full face with products you don’t usually use, messing around with makeup can give you some time to enjoy yourself and not worry about the things in life that feel significant but are in fact trivial. Not everyone uses makeup, and I understand that, so obviously this wouldn’t apply to you, but it could. Go out to your local Walmart or  Walgreens and get some cheap drugstore makeup to play around with (unless you have sensitive skin, then you probably shouldn’t do that). You don’t have to get or do anything extravagant; sometimes it’s fun simply to put on a sparkly lip gloss and clumpy mascara and walk around your house in your pajamas acting like a supermodel going down the runway. 

Go for a Walk | Staying indoors all day every day can give your mind a chance to think up negative thoughts and let them fester, especially when you’re sitting in one place doing nothing for hours. Getting out of the house and doing something as simple as going for a walk can switch your mind over to a more positive space, or at least reduce the amount of bad vibes in the air. Walking regularly also reduces risk of heart attack and stroke, builds stronger bones and balance, lowers blood sugar, boosts energy and mood, and decreases stress levels by releasing endorphins (happy hormones). Even if all you do is go on a leisurely walk for 20 minutes every other day, that’s still better than nothing, and both your mind and body will thank you for taking the time to care for yourself. 

Watch Something Heartwarming | What this means for you is totally up to your interpretation. You can watch YouTube videos, TV shows, music videos, movies, documentaries, birds, and so on. When you want to relax and get away from stress but are feeling especially lazy, watching something that makes you happy can be just as good as exercising or going out with friends (not that you shouldn’t do these things; try not to be a complete potato [like me]). Personally, I like to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic when I finish classes and homework for the day because the lighthearted, friendship-focused aspect of the show makes me feel happy and helps me free myself from the mess of stress and anxiety I constantly find myself tangled up in. Don’t spend hours binge watching something, because then you get so caught up in a story that you don’t make time for anything else, but you could try to watch an episode or two of something a day if it makes you feel good. I highly suggest checking out My Little Pony and Phineas and Ferb. They may be for younger audiences, but that doesn’t mean they’re not awesome. 

Color | Or finger paint, or sketch, or do photography- whatever rocks your roll (is that one right?). You don’t have to be inherently artistic to do art. Creating art reduces stress and anxiety, and increases creativity and positive emotions. Coloring while piano music plays in the background (gotta love that Yiruma) is so incredibly relaxing that I wish I took the time to do it more. The brain has been found to enter a sort of meditative state while coloring, which can help to lower stress and anxiety levels. Give coloring a try and see if it helps you relax, and don’t get upset if you go outside the lines- it’s completely fine. 

Sit Outside | Run your hands over the grass, listen to birds sing and squirrels scurry up and down trees, watch the clouds/stars, and breathe in the fresh air (unless you live next to a paper mill or gas station or something, then don’t do that). Going outside is said to help with seasonal depression and improve mental health. If you sit outside during the day, you’ll also soak up some vitamin D, which helps with calcium and phosphorus regulation (maintain healthy bones). If you do decide to go outside during the day, make sure to wear sunscreen regardless of weather conditions (UV rays can still cut through clouds, my dudes). 

Now get out of bed and go outside. It’s vitamin D time. 

[oishioshis]

Favourite Songs 2016 ~A Mixed Bag~

This is probably the longest I’ve put something off in my life, for one reason or another whenever I started writing this list I became overwhelmed or really down on myself. What do I know? Who am I? What value is this at all? Well, none of those questions really matter. I’m doing this for myself and hopefully there’s the added benefit of friends looking at this and maybe getting an idea for what I’m into.

It’s no secret my interests have vastly changed between 2015 and 2016 making this an incredibly hard list to curate, but that process made me realise that this whole thing is kinda nonsense. It’s a fun thing I’m throwing together based on what I enjoyed, it’s not me scouring every release throughout a year and giving you my take on it. I’m going to miss things and skip songs and entire albums, this is an unranked list except for my absolute favourite of the year.

However, before I get into my favourite releases I want to give my take on a hobby I had a couple years back. While I think their releases are often really poor and lacking in mostly every regard, it’s worth highlighting the very rare gem they manage to spit out.

AKB48 - Love Trip

This song is kinda fantastic in that it’s everything I personally feel AKB48 should be. It’s energetic, youthful and intense. AKB48 is often bogged down with releases that are mellow and way too easy going for the sheer amount of personality they have. They should be fun, and Love Trip is exactly that, and well executed, too. The mix of acoustic guitars and wailing electric guitars throughout give the song an energy more reminiscent of their older output, the accompanying layered gang vocals, while they leave something to be desired on a technical level, do add to the intensity of the song itself. It’s not abrasive, it feels just right. Love Trip could be described as a beautiful chaos, as it is a mess, but a mess that works to the benefit of the listener, it’s a song about young love, and the song sounds as chaotic as that moment in your life feels. Overall, I’d say this is the best AKB48 song in years, and continues to be.

Nogizaka46 - Harujion ga Sakukoro

I was once writing what was basically a love letter to this song that I never got around to posting. When this song first came out I adored it, the composition and arrangement is so uplifting and beautiful that it’s hard to put into words how exactly you feel about it. The song is a mix of a thumping house beat and string sections with what sounds like a synthesized chorus vocal line, and it works perfectly. The music itself never really resolves itself in its transitions from chorus to verse until the end where the story of the song is resolved, and I thought that was a very smart, well crafted touch.

I don’t hold Nogizaka46 to the same standard as AKB48. I personally feel that Nogizaka46’s output is very solid for most releases even if they falter in some coupling track decisions here and there, but Harujion ga Sakukoro is a very, very special song and I feel it is a highlight when it comes to idol songs.

Now with that out of the way I get to my favourite songs of the year. These songs are in no real order but at the very end I’ll give my absolute favourite song of the year, so if you only came for that then just skip to the end because this’ll be real boring otherwise.

Favourite Songs

Perfume - Flash

People like to rag on Perfume these days for whatever reason, can’t say I really get it. I understand the music has changed but that doesn’t mean it’s objectively better or worse. I find Flash to be a highlight in Perfume’s discography, and the Cosmic Explorer album, while I understand it’s a bit more western influenced and trendy, it’s a lot of fun. Flash kinda just goes in, heavy on the synth leads, snares for days, it’s dumb fun. It knows it’s dumb. I’d also like to give a shout out to the album mix of Flash, it’s rearranged and the dynamic and structure of the song sounds completely different but it’s also really good, just in a different way.

Kariya Seira - Colorful World

A very fun, electro-funk song. I love the electric piano throughout, the bendy bassline, swimmy, sparkly and stabby synths. I also love Seira’s singing, she’s become a really beautiful singer over the years and this song highlights it unlike no other. If you’re ever feeling down I’d really recommend this song among Seira’s other songs.

BiSH - Orchestra

Probably BiSH’s most ambitious song to date. It gives off the melancholic yet optimistic vibes of a smoother Nogizaka46 song, but with a really intense double-kick build into a flurry of orchestral strings. It’s not really a mix you think of to often, but the mix of metal and a string section with this really off-kilter idol punk singing works beautifully. Idol music can sometimes feel a bit fake, but BiSH always manages to feel authentic and I feel Orchestra is a good example of that.

Fujiwara Sakura - “Kawaii”

My favourite side of Fujiwara Sakura is her really emotive singing, and that especially shows in the chorus of “Kawaii”, it’s a very pretty, sentimental jazz song. It’s very jazz, so if you don’t like jazz maybe this won’t be your thing, but it’s jaunty, it’s a lot of fun. Please try it, she’s really good. I’m on my knees begging. I love her so much.

Maison Book Girl - lost AGE

I’ve never been able to describe Maison Book Girl, they’re a unique genre unto themselves, very heavy on strings and acoustic guitars but chopped and mixed incredibly weirdly. I honestly wouldn’t recommend a single song by them, but their entire discography. It’s so unique, it’s indescribable. It’s all one cohesive style so if you don’t like one song you won’t like any of their songs, really, but you need to check them out.

Ladies’ Code - Galaxy

More jazz! But now lower key and subdued. Galaxy is very pretty musically and visually, so definitely check out the music video. I really like the places the song goes, in the bridge it kinda builds this jazzy momentum in contrast to the very mellow beginning and they carry it towards the end. It’s a very neat, chill song, I thoroughly recommend it. Also I adore the bassline.

Ladies’ Code - The Rain

More upbeat and less subtle than Galaxy, but the bouncy synth on top of the continued jazzy feel from Galaxy makes The Rain my favourite of Ladies’ Code releases from 2016. There’s also something about the lead in with the heavy violin into the hard hitting chorus that makes The Rain feel a bit more intensely emotional than Galaxy. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but I like it a lot.

Lee Hi - My Star

Lee Hi continues her motown streak with My Star, and it’s kinda motown-lite but there’s something about it that I really like. The hook is really catchy to me, it’s reminiscent of contemporary motown where it sounds a bit more pop than full motown and that’s alright for me. I also reward any song for expensing actual session played instrumental work, like this song has actual brass sections. However the main snare they’re using sounds EDM as heck. Song’s produced by Teddy so it’s to be expected to some degree isn’t it.

TWICE - TT

What hasn’t been said about TT at this point? It kinda became a cultural phenomenon in East Asia. It’s a really great song. Excellent use of space in the mix, makes the song sound huge and ethereal, the deep house-esque bass synths are wonderful and the hook is super catchy. It’s a perfect pop song if you ask me.

WJSN - Secret

I adore secret, some would call this maybe the biggest surprise of 2016, but it’s an e.one track, of course it’s fantastic. e.one can do no wrong. The music box lead into the melodic synth with an accompanying string section is probably the thing that immediately hooked everybody into this song. It’s a great, fun way to start off your song. That and, of course, the bimiliya aaaaaAa, it’s incredibly catchy. It never gets boring for me.

REOL - Give me a break stop now

REOL’s vocal inflections and general vocal direction is the hook for me, I love her style, but the song is also the type of EDM trap I’m way into. Abrasive trap horns, heavy ass synth, weird ass BONK replacing the snare, the entire thing just kicks you in the teeth and it’s great. REOL and GigaP did a fantastic job at producing this.

BLACKPINK - Whistle / Boombahyah / Playing With Fire

I’m putting most of BLACKPINK’s discography into one because I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed every release they put out in 2016. Whistle’s low-key, simple melodies are something I’m not typically into, but I was immediately hooked by the song, it’s so catchy.  The heavy sub-bass, cowbell rhythm, snare rolling into the bouncy, acoustic build unusually works very, very well and the hook itself is simple and fun, I recommend it.

Boombahyah is basically a pop-ified, big room house banger with all the arabic scale and reverb heavy snares you can handle. It’s almost comical how ridiculous the song is, but it’s a lot of fun, and that’s all I really want.

Playing With Fire is probably my favourite BLACKPINK song of 2016, the electro swing feel throughout, especially in the synth hook is really enjoyable. It’s a very charismatic song, Lisa especially hooks me as I love how she delivers her lines, she’s such a goof but in this song has a lot of attitude.

Red Velvet - Russian Roulette

Russian Roulette is, despite the name, a fun synthpop song with a disco influence. The song is presented in a very monotonous fashion, it leads in with a flat, stuttering “la, la-la, la” and throughout the song the vocals are delivered in a similarly robotic way, very atypical for the blues-y, soulful vocals you’re used to from Red Velvet. I think that’s what makes this song really interesting. It’s a 180 from the absolute belter that was Dumb Dumb, but they still make it work, they, and pop music in general, do not need to be hinged on technical ability to be a fun, entertaining song. While not everybody can make it work, Red Velvet impressed me with their versatility. The music itself is very nice and simple, lots of synth drags, stuttery vocal leads and it even has the rare musical interlude which Korean pop tends not to do too often. Definitely one of my favourite songs of the year.

Oh My Girl - Windy Day

Probably one of the weirder Korean idol releases in recent years. Windy Day is an acoustic heavy, ethereal, bubblegummy type song with very beautifully arranged vocals and an arabic scale (at least I think it’s the arabic scale) influenced musical interlude that completely contrasts the feel of the previous verses. The song is fucking nuts, and it’s great. It’s hard to describe. I really recommend you check it out regardless of the type of music you’re into because it’s a weird one.

Lovelyz - Destiny

Synth, string heavy and intense. It’s not a mellow track by any means, but there’s something about Destiny that is eerie and even haunting. I’d go into Destiny further but I want to write a post in itself about Lovelyz discography at one point where I delve deeper into the sounds and style, but I need to include this because the song is fantastic and you should listen to it.

Absolute Favourite Song of the Year

Gfriend - Rough / Navillera

Both of these songs, to me, are perfect. I find no faults in either of them. They both easily go onto my favourite songs of all time. From the string, guitar heavy Rough to the synthy, discopop Navillera, it’s hard to find a fault, they’re both essentially perfect songs for me. The vocal delivery is beautiful, the way the strings and synths are arranged are both beautiful and powerful, the cute guitar solos feel nostalgic yet unique for the current pop landscape. It all just works perfectly for me. They’re both perfect songs.

And that’s about it. You probably noticed “hey these are all title tracks” well, yes, they are. I wanted to make it easier for myself but I do recommend if you enjoy any of these songs that you check out the respective single, mini-album or album they come from. Also, respect to everybody who produced and was involved with the production of these songs and music videos.

Iggy Youngbae are my dads