#please i saw that video a month ago and i’ve been OBSESSED with it ever since

[mrs-hatake]

no but like imagine y/n is married to her high school sweetheart pro hero!aizawa and their relationship couldnt be any more perfect than this. that is, until five years into their marriage when aizawa’s popularity is increasing and he is climbing up the ladder of pro heroes, made it to the top five even, so he is extremely busy.

y/n is understanding when aizawa returns home late after every mission or conference. she is forgiving when he starts missing their dates. she tries to be understanding when birthdays were forgotten and anniversaries were uncelebrated. but three years of this was too much and it’s slowly killing y/n. she is depressed and lonely. and she is frustrated because she doesn’t know how to bring this up to shouta without making it seem like she’s some clingy and obsessed wife. she bottles up her emotions and tries to plaster on a smile whenever they go to whatever hero type event she is invited to along with her husband.

however, that doesn’t last long and she soon runs into villain!dabi by accident. she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. she was at some convince store getting some junk food for another lonely night when blue flames engulf the store and in walks in a scarred man who jumps over the counter and takes out all of the money from the cash register. they lock gaze and y/n recognizes him from tv as a member of the league of villains that shouta had been trying to break down for the past year and a half.

his stapled lips stretch into a wicked grin before jumping over the counter and advances towards her, y/n not liking the hungry look in his eyes. no doubt he recognizes her as the wife of eraser head. aizawa constantly warned her to stay low to protect herself but y/n was confident no harm would come her way. she deeply regrets her stupid decision.

before dabi could do anything, police sirens pierce through the silence. dabi curses under his breath and turns to bolt out of the crime scene. but not before throwing a “see you around, doll face.” with a sleazy smirk.

needless to say, the two met again. and again. and again until it become a normal occurrence. so normal, in fact, that if they don’t run into each other for more than two days, they feel as if a piece of their heart was ripped from them.

so it’s not a surprise to anyone that the two enter a sexual relationship and neither of them have ever felt so alive before. their lives feel complete and they feel like they can take over the world.

of course, nothing is perfect. y/n still has guilt over the fact that she is constantly cheating on her husband and still refuses to moan dabi’s birth name in bed. it frustrates him to no end. so imagine how mad he gets when y/n is ditching a night she promised to spend with dabi so that she could attend a dinner at some pro hero’s mansion (pretentious pig) and acting all lovey dovey with a man she no longer loves like she did before.

dabi’s furious and he is itching stir up the pot and make sure that y/n will finally be his once and for all and gets shouta out of the picture. so as y/n is getting ready in his cheap, rundown apartment to meet with her husband (who doesn’t even bother to go the event with her at the same time as he has an interview beforehand, what a dick! thinks dabi) he tells her that he wants to take a video because she looks so ravishing in her little black dress.

y/n doesn’t think much of it and even snorts at the choice of song (a popular sound on tiktok no less) and even humors him when he presses his front to her back and she matches the sway of his hips, even gives a sultry look at the camera filming them from a lowered angle.

y/n kisses him goodbye and promises to make it up to him tomorrow and dabi could barely hide the mischievous smirk threatening to split across his face.

needless to say, the dinner party with all the heroes was boring. and poor shouta was trying his very best to entertain his wife but y/n feels awkward being around shouta after she started sleeping with dabi and the fact that he had been neglecting her for years prior to her infidelity. she’s thinking of fun little ways to make up for dabi and doesn’t notice the deep frown settling on aizawa’s lips.

when they return home, aizawa tries to be intimate with y/n by kissing her neck and telling her how much he misses her but y/n breaks free from his hold with a lame excuse that she’s tired and wants to go to bed.

hours later, when y/n is deep asleep and shouta is leaning on his elbow as he watches his wife sleep, his fingers gliding across her arm, hidden by long sleeved pajamas (which was odd since she normally slept in tank tops) and is thinking about the odd change in behavior of his wife when his phone buzzes on the night stand.

he reaches over and his eyebrows pinches at the message he read.

trouble in paradise?

shouta decided to ignore it, assuming it was a wrong number, when the next message has his eyes widen.

she’s cheating on you

is she really?

shouta glances at his slumbering wife and he is about to reply to the person on the other end, demanding who this person is and how dare he accuse his wife. even though a tiny voice at the back of his head whispers to shouta that, maybe y/n is cheating on him. it would explain why she would always ignore his phone calls and would return home late on those rare nights he’s some early. sure, he assumed it’s because he’s just so busy that y/n is probably spending her time with family or a new hobby. but cheating? that’s a stretch.

aizawa receives another message and this time it’s a video that makes his blood freeze.

(imagine this is them in the video lol)

shouta’s heart painfully wrenches and his stomach churns. theres ringing in his ears and his vision blurs.

y/n.

and dabi.

the villain he’d been trying to capture for the past year and a half, dancing together.

the next three messages come simultaneously.

the first picture is of dabi standing behind y/n with his scarred arm wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder as they both stare into the phone y/n is holding in front of the mirror.

the next is another picture of y/n kissing dabi’s cheek as the younger man scrunches his face, pretending to dislike the affection he is receiving.

but the third message, the last one, killed shouta.

it’s a video of y/n, his wife, who is naked on her back as she is getting fucked out of her mind. her smile is loopy, her hair is messy and her voice is whiny. an appearance of y/n he is all too familiar of.

“who do you belong to?” dabi’s voice could be heard in the background.

“yoouu~” y/n mewls, her breasts jiggling with every harsh thrust from dabi.

“you’re mine.” dabi grunts. “say it.”

“i’m yours! no one else’s but you, dabi!” and y/n comes with a cry of dabi’s name. she looks straight at dabi, and shouta holds back the sob that’s threatening to break because of the love and devotion filling y/n’s eyes. a look which he had been on the receiving end of for years.

aizawa quickly closes the messaging app, shuts off his phone and walks out of the apartment door. he needed to clear his mind before he did something stupid like hunting down dabi and killing him on spot.

he’d deal with y/n later.

[lucky-katebishop]

I spent a month reading harry potter fanfics and here’s what I learned

So for the past three and a half weeks, I’ve been doing basically nothing but reading Harry Potter fanfics and now I kind of just want to talk about them. No one cares but future me will! I tend to get caught in obsessions fairly easily (for instance, two months ago was comic books and last month was video editing and then k dramas). I’m feeling like my Harry Potter obsession is fading which makes me really sad cause it was a fun ride. I went from Drarry to Hinny, time travel to alternate realities, obscuris Harry to Dark!Harry, MCU AUs to Doctor Who AUs. I must’ve read more than 50 fics.

I’ve learned that I hate Dumbledore

Snape makes for a great mentor but I will only like him with proper character development

also where did Snape being Draco’s godfather come from? I don’t think this was in the books? I’m not angry, just confused

I read a fic that was so sad that I was physically unable to finish reading it -- actually I read two of those, one of them was a DID fic and the other Voldemort adopted Harry

the Voldemort one is quite possibly the most tragic thing I have ever read and even though it’s been two weeks I still haven’t been able to recover -- I was only halfway finished too GOOD LORD

another fic I read that was so fucking depressing was a time loop situation where Harry literally couldn’t get out of and it ended tragically

obscuris Harry is interesting but I really only like the ones where Newt is actually involved but I couldn’t find any finished ones

I don’t like it when Harry’s appearance changes, it throws me for a loop

there was this one where Harry got sent back in time and his figure got disfigured and so he didn’t even appear like himself anymore

I just find it odd for Harry Potter not to look like Harry Potter, idk

I also have a headcanon that his hair is very curly rather than shaggy

I haven’t been able to find a fic where Harry goes back in time to the Marauders era and has the right amount of angst but the right amount of fluff

I’ve read some good ones where the Marauders travel to Harry’s time but like,,, it isn’t quite what I’m looking for? I’m gonna have to write it, aren’t I? 

this doesn’t happen with irondad fics, literally everything you’ve ever wanted you can find it there

I read one where Harry did go back in time but she (fem!Harry) didn’t really interact with her parents or the Marauders that much, she became friends with Regulus instead

Regulus should’ve been in Gryffindor

I’ve not only read fics where Draco has been a Ravenclaw, Slytherin, but also a Gryffindor. I haven’t found one where he’s in Hufflepuff

I’ve read fics where Harry’s in every single house - the Ravenclaw one might be my favorite so far, it had to do with him going to a different timeline where there’s another Harry and he’s a major dick

Hufflepuff Harry one was funny, but it got distressing cause Dumbledore didn’t trust him and tried to get him expelled

actually the Hufflepuff one made my heart hurt cause Harry was put in the body of a Harry who isn’t the boy who lived and barely spoke and was basically like an even more traumatized Neville

Slytherin Harry is everything to me and he should’ve been in Slytherin

Ravenclaw Draco is something that can be so personal

I’m tired of reading Year One fics, I get it, there’s a stone, let’s move on

Year Four fics are my favorite however, there was one (which is my favorite) where Harry’s a necromancer and in the graveyard scene he calls corpses from the graves alive to help him get out of there it was so cool

I am partial to Harry/Draco but Harry/Luna is cute

there was a Pokemon Harry/Luna one that’s adorable and I’ve read it twice already

I like when there’s a ton of lore involved

especially Hogwarts lessons - like ancient runes can fucking get it, I love runes fics

there was an MCU AU one where I read Harry didn’t have his magic anymore, not as potent as it was, but he did have ancient runes

LISTEN I tried to get into Dark!Harry but after that Voldemort adoption one I can’t do it anymore, I will start crying literally right now -- he just wants to be fucking useful! He just wants to be loved! Is that too much to fucking ask for? 

however Harry doing dark!magic but isn’t actually on the dark side is cool

Death Eater Spy Draco! It makes me distressed but also I am so here for it!

Jenkins if you’re out there I love you (if you get this reference I love you)

I read a ton of Avengers adopt Harry when he’s younger but I don’t care for younger Harry fics, I prefer when he’s a teenager and I don’t have to read the first few years at Hogwarts, it can get repetitive

Give me all the angst with Harry being a horcrux please, I’m living for the drama

Lily is not a fan favorite weirdly enough, when the Marauders are in fics she’s usually not there which is unfortunate because I just really want a good Harry/Lily bonding moment

one of the saddest fics I read was where harry, luna, hermione and neville find themselves in an alternate dimension where Lily and Remus are married and alive, James is a dick but has other kids, and every single person that had died in their world is alive

I don’t like it when there’s Ron bashing, he’s one of my favorites, but if I have to, I’ll read some of them

there was this Sherlock fic (listen, I went in fucking deep, it’s been a weird month) where fem!Harry is on the run from the Ministry because I don’t actually understand and Ron and everyone is out for blood for her

Eleventh Doctor/Harry is a pairing I was not aware of but I actually kind of love?

Master of Death Harry is fucking OP and I love him for that

mcu aus is something I never knew I needed

Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis is fucking everything

So is On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads, I realized it was the same author when I read in the author notes that the author was going to some volcano convention thing and I was like this is way too niche for it to be a coincidence

I’ve read Tony is Harry’s dad, Loki is Harry’s dad, Harry is just weird friends with Thor, ones where Natasha is Harry’s aunt

listen everyone is related to this boy

I will not read a fic if it doesn’t involve Harry, he’s my boy, he’s my love, I care only about him and him only I’m so sorry

you know that meme where people say nobody’s favorite character is harry potter, the titular character? Well meet me! He’s my favorite!

in battle of hogwarts fics, Remus almost always dies. Why is that? Why do you guys hate him so much? It’s always half and half for Fred, I never know if he’s going to live or not

In all of the good fics I’ve read I saw in the collections area of ao3 the same collection and I was like! You get me! 

if it says Gammily’s Bookshelf on the fic, it’s gonna be a really fucking great fic let me just tell you that right now

Parseltongue gets me so riled up, I fucking love Parseltongue, it’s so cool

there’s a reason I usually filter out non/c*n but I decided to let it flow and I ran into a few that fucking d e s t r o y e d me why do you guys read shit like this, it broke my heart

that being said I read one that was really nuanced and actually really good but it’ll never be finished and I’m very mad about that

Either we have a better understanding of how goblins could be utilized  than JKR or we’re just ignorant of how powerful they can be

weird coincidence that I’ve read two completely different fics where Harry thought having a threesome meant kissing three different people

Dumbledore’s a bitch and I hate him, every fic I’ve read so far agrees with me

there is a person out there that is CARRYING the bucky barnes/harry potter pairing on their back and I hope whoever that is knows how much I appreciate them

remind me never to click on a fic that hasn’t been updated since 2015 ever again, C’est La Vie I will miss you so

this is just a fucking quarter of the harry potter fics I’ve read but thanks for reading if you did, let me know if you want to know some of the titles

[bruhstories]

Baby, I’ve Already got Your Heart

Summary: An accidental meeting between Armin and Y/N leads to an unhealthy obsession. Pairing: Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader (modern AU) Warnings: stalking, language, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), oral sex (female receiving), switch!Reader, switch!Armin, rope is involved. Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by this song. It is surprisingly wholesome, considering the tags xD

Armin Arlert. The purest man in the world. You accidentally met him one cold, rainy day when he entered your coffee shop for shelter and warmth. He naively talked to you, grateful for how nice you were with him, grateful for the cappuccino on the house, grateful for the towel you offered him to dry himself off. Little did Armin know, a fixation sprouted in your mind and heart, developing into the unhealthiest obsession. He was just so cute — and you just had to have him. It helped to know that you were both going to the same university, and after that, you knew everything about him: his Facebook, Instagram, email address, hell, you even knew his real address. To be fair, it was a piece of cake, the boy was absolutely clueless and whenever he 'accidentally' met you, he thought it was by pure chance. The next and most obvious step was to befriend people in his social circle, one Jean Kirstein, one Sasha Braus and one Connie Springer. Naturally, you did your homework, and you knew his best friends were Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman, but they weren't easy targets. Besides, it would jeopardise your entire plan, as you found Armin was considered a genius. An oblivious genius. He didn't know it yet, but you loved him and he loved you too, right?

A text from Sasha, months after you first met the angelic man, set your plan in motion. A casual gaming night at Armin's place, and you were invited. How perfect. Poor glutton Sasha had no fucking clue how much you were using her, how you told her you want to meet a cute guy, someone nice and caring, someone smart and attentive. The girl put two and two together and decided she just had to introduce you to one of her friends, especially that he was also interested in meeting a girl like you. Unbelievable — you acted surprised, met up with Sasha and left for Armin's little gaming night. You wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste. Starting from tonight, he'd be yours. Forever.

"Armiiiiiiiiin, I brought a plus one!" Sasha barged into his house. "This is my friend, Y/N. Y/N, Armin! Oh shit, pretzels!" The brown-haired woman left the two of you in the hallway and the blond flashed you a smile.

"I feel like I've seen you before." He mused as he closed the door behind you.

"If you ever drink coffee at Rose's you might've seen me there." You smiled and removed your leather jacket, revealing a Pearl Jam t-shirt.

"No way you listen to them!" Armin blurted.

"Are you kidding me? They're my favourite!" You lied through your teeth with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Mine too! Oh, I know, you're the girl who gave me a free cappuccino months ago!"

"I remember! You were drenched in rainwater." You laughed as the two of you entered the living room. "I had to mop up the puddles you left behind."

"I'm so sorry about that..." He blushed. Your heart fluttered and you couldn't wait to get your hands on him, but for the time being, you needed to behave.

"No worries, I just hope you didn't catch a cold." You assured Armin and sympathetically placed a hand on his shoulder. There he goes, blushing again. It couldn't be... was he a virgin? Fuck. This was better than you could've imagined.

"Who's this?"

"Oh, Mikasa, Eren, this is Y/N. She's friends with Sasha."

"Nice to meet you!" Eren shook your hand. "Oh, God, you listen to Pearl Jam, too? You nerds are going to get along just fine." He joked.

The night went great, and you actually had fun with Armin and his friends, despite not intending to mingle with them too much. People started leaving around 2 am, but Eren and Mikasa stayed longer. Too fucking long — and things were boring now anyway. You and Armin kept talking about video games and books, Mikasa fell asleep on Eren who was playing fucking Farmville on his phone. They had to leave as soon as possible.

"Hey, Y/N, we can take you home." Eren suggested and you froze. Shit.

"Didn't you say you're almost out of gas?" Armin questioned his friend.

"Ah, fuck, you're right. I still don't know how that happened — I fuelled the tank yesterday!" The brunette scoffed. "Guess you're on your own, Y/N."

"It's alright, I'll take an uber." You politely smiled.

"Alright, we'll wait for you."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Truth be told, you appreciated how nice and caring Armin's friends were, but you had a different goal to accomplish.

"You really don't have to, plus I have to use the bathroom." You excused yourself. "Um, where is the bathroom exactly?"

"Upstairs, first door on the right." Armin told you while gathering plates and cups from the table. You nodded and climbed up the stairs. Your hand hovered over the bathroom doorknob for a good minute, eyes drifting to the door next to it. Armin's bedroom, by the looks of it. Surely, you could take a look, right? Fuck it. You opened the second door and at first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. LED and fairy lights encircled a corner of his room and, curiously, you walked closer to see what that was, because it didn't look like a desk. Your Y/E/C widened when you saw tens of framed photographs of yourself on the square table, objects you thought you lost and — Jesus, was that your bra? A rush of anxiety hit you, but before you could do anything, a blow to your head blurred your vision.

•°☆°•☆•°☆°•

Dark lashes fluttered as you opened your eyes. The sudden realisation that you were naked and restrained to a bed made you jolt. What just happened?

"Fucking finally, I thought you'd never wake up." Armin greeted you, but his voice was different, deeper and darker.

"Ar-ugh, Armin?" You groaned at the stinging sensation at the back of your head.

"You know, I was relieved you didn't leave with Sasha, otherwise you would've slipped between my fingers again."

Again?

"Ugh, and Eren and his stupid idea. 'We'll take you home.'" He mocked his best friend with a high pitch. "I've been dreaming for this moment since I walked into that shitty coffee shop."

You were at a loss for words. This was not the Armin you fantasised about, not the Armin you wanted. He was much more and much worse. And. So. Much. Better.

Alright then, you'd put up a show for him.

"P-please, Armin, please untie m-me! I'll be good, I p-promise!" You stuttered and whimpered, trying your best to sound genuine.

"Why, so you can run away?" The blond scoffed. So, he didn't know you stalked him. What a twist.

"I won't r-run, I swear!"

"Bullshit." Armin bent over your body, hands around your neck. You gasped and pretended to be startled by his touch, but in reality, your core was already burning with lust. You knew you couldn't keep up with this charade. "No, Y/N, I won't untie you. But we'll have so much fun." He sneered.

"You promise?"

"Yes. Wait—"

Your laughter filled the bedroom, genuine laughter that baffled Armin. Was this some sort of reverse psychology trick?

"Oh, Armin, even when you reveal your true colours, you're still oblivious to the reality of what's in front of you."

"Then enlighten me, what am I so oblivious to?" He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"The fact that this was my fucking plan, too." You stretched as much as your restraints allowed you to and licked your lips. "I guess we both stalked each other without even knowing. How ridiculous."

"I think I would've known if you stalked me, Y/N."

"Really? Let me prove it, then. Your favourite food's Carbonara pasta, your favourite drink is peach and lychee iced tea, favourite movie is Interstellar, you lived on Sheena street until you were 12–"

"That's common knowledge, Sasha could've told you any of that." Armin blurted, growing impatient.

"You watch BDSM and asphyxiation porn between 10 pm and 11 pm every Tuesday, you're a virgin, you own a fleshlight–"

"Fuck, alright!" He threw his hands in the air, defeated. "So, what next?"

"You untie me and you tear me apart, Armin, that's what's next."

The blond hesitated before removing the cuffs on your ankles, still unsure about the ropes around your wrists. Clearly, you weren't making things up, but what were the chances of both of you stalking each other? For a brief moment, Armin felt guilty for hitting you and practically holding you captive, and you could see that on his face, but obsession and desire soon took over, and he reverted back to his darker self. His soft hands moved from your ankles to your knees, up your thighs and stomach, stopping above your chest, deciding it's best if you're not fully free. Armin licked his lips and climbed on top of you, unbuttoning his flannel shirt. You thought was surprisingly strong for such a thin man, but when the unbuttoned shirt revealed his chiselled abdomen, it made sense why he was strong.

"The wrists, Armin." You insisted but the blond clicked his tongue.

"I like you better when you're helpless." He pressed his lips onto yours in a hot kiss. A great kiss, you thought, your tongues wrestling for supremacy.

"Please, I want to touch you! I need to..." You trailed off, intoxicated by his smell, notes of saffron and cardamom. His hands roamed your shoulders, tickling your axilla and groping your breasts. "Please let me touch you, Armin!" You begged again, but he didn't say a word, his hot breath fanning over your oversensitive nipples, goosebumps all over your skin. His pink tongue poked out of his mouth and you watched him painstakingly slowly lick one of your nipples. It literally pained you to be unable to touch him, pull him closer to you. Alas, you had no choice, and despite yearning to be in control, it aroused you to have him control you.

"You smell so sweet." He abruptly stopped. "I bet you taste sweet, too."

"Armin..." His words made you brace yourself. While you weren't a virgin, you've never had anyone eat you out. The blond was already in between your legs, one hand resting under your thigh, the other gently touching your slick folds. Armin was so careful, like you were made of glass, and the ticklish sensation didn't help you at all. You wanted him to ram his cock inside of you and rearrange your guts, but he wanted to take his sweet time. The teasing only made you dizzy with pleasure, and you bucked your hips, trying to get him to move faster.

"You really need to learn to be patient, Y/N." Armin purred, pressing gentle kisses on your thighs. He lazily dragged his tongue across your slit, electricity shooting through your body. God, how you wanted to rip those ropes apart. Two fingers entered you and the blond gingerly licked your clit.  

"Fuck– so... so good ah–" You couldn't form a sentence even if your life counted on it. Gradually, you could feel your orgasm building up and Armin sensed it, picking up the pace. His fingers thrusted harder and you arched your back, the intensity too much for you. "Armin, please! I wanna come with your cock in me!" The begging didn't stop him, he was determined to make you finish then and there. And he did — within seconds you melted under his touch, legs trembling with pleasure. Armin pulled back, his mouth messy with saliva mixed with your juices.

"You come when I want you to come." His voice was low, almost like a growl. He unbuttoned his jeans, and you watched him like a hawk, waiting to see just how big his was, and you were not disappointed.

"Please please please let me suck it, please!" You begged him, eager to taste him. He smirked and kissed you, all the while rubbing his cock.

"You want this?" Armin quirked a brow at you. The little shit, jacking off in front of you and you couldn't even do anything about it.

"Armin..."

"Say it. Say you want it."

"Armin!"

"Say it, Y/N." He groaned, precum leaking from his member. Fuck.

"I... I want it..." You eventually gave up.

"Good girl." The blond climbed back on top of you. He raised your hips and you placed your legs on his shoulder, his first thrust slow and deep. Armin couldn't help the moan escaping his lips — this was so much better than that shitty fleshlight and countless porn videos. You couldn't deny the fact that it hurt, despite your soaking cunt, but you quickly adjusted to his size. As Armin pounded you, the bed underneath the two of you started moving and screeching, and the ropes tied to the metal bedframe loosened and you felt your arms fall onto the pillows. In his frenzy, the blond didn't notice, so you took this opportunity to lower your legs and wrap them around his waist, one hand grabbing his soft locks, the other wrapping around his neck. You used his weight against him and turned him over. You were in control.

Armin was taken aback by this, but the feeling of your fingers squeezing his throat only turned him on more. You bounced up and down, throwing your head back and groaning. He gripped your hips tightly, thrusting his own hips against yours.

"F-fuck me harder, Y/N!" He begged and you sped up. You felt like a queen — no, a goddess — when he asked you to fuck him, the feeling of him inside of you so addictive. He was your drug, and your rehab, your poison, and your antidote. And you were his and his only. His cock was twitching in your cunt and knew he was close but you didn't want to risk it. Swiftly, you got off of him and wrapped your lips around his dick, bobbing your head up and down. It didn't take long for him to finish, hot liquid shooting down your throat with one final grunt. You swallowed it all and threw yourself next to him. It was breaking dawn already, but you weren't tired. Physically, yes, both of you were exhausted, but mentally it felt like you discovered a hidden gem.

"What the fuck did we just do?" Armin calmly caressed your hair as you nuzzled his neck.

"Are we talking about the obsessively stalking each other part or the part where you hit me in the head? Or the fucking?"

"The everything." He explained. "This is wrong."

"Did it feel wrong?" You asked him, your fingers idly tracing circles over his chest.

"Well, no..."

"Then it's not wrong." You shrugged. "Am... am I yours?"

"Yes." The blond instantly replied without a trace of hesitation in his voice. "Am I?"

"You've been mine the moment you set foot in that shitty coffee shop." You laughed.

"And what are we going to tell the others?"

"That we ended up talking all night and I stayed over?"

"Sounds like a plan." Armin kissed your forehead.

"By the way, I really don't like Pearl Jam." You admitted.

He laughed and it filled your heart with warmth. You have no idea why you and Armin were like that, or how things would be from now on, but you had a good feeling about it. Things were okay. You two were okay.

[onceuponaloonatic]

(i just read most of surrogate au on a road trip i Love) do you want to do chaeyoung is hanging out with jihyo and baby nico but jihyo has to run in for a work thing or smth and so chaeyoung is left alone with nico. chaeyoung however has Zero childcare skills and is so clueless. queue chaeyoung getting nontoxic paint and trying to paint with 2 month old nico, its literally all smears and both are covered in paint from head to toe by the end but sana and jihyo both love it and take one of the "artworks" and frame it.

thank you so much !! sorry for the wait !! also i only have three asks left so if you guys have any ideas please send asks!!

“Who’s the cutest baby in the world? You are.” Jihyo smiled as she tickled Nico’s stomach, earning her a giggle in response. Nico had just started giggling a few days ago, right after her second month of life had officially begun. Needless to say, her parents could not give enough of it. Sana had taken countless videos the first time Nico giggled, and had sent all of them to Jihyo. Now that Jihyo was watching Nico, she couldn’t get enough of her baby girl giggling. “I love you.” Jihyo kissed Nico’s cheek.

“Babe if you give her too much attention she’s going to be spoiled.” Chaeyoung giggled from the couch. She had received most of the videos from Jihyo, and she thought it was adorable how in love with Nico Jihyo was. She also knew her girlfriend needed this time with Nico. She hadn’t been able to spend much time with her lately and Chaeyoung knew it was eating at Jihyo. “I think it’s too late for that.” Jihyo picked Nico up and carried her to the couch where she sat next to Chaeyoung. She quickly settled Nico before leaning into her girlfriend. “You’ve seen how Sana is with her. Sana is like obsessed with Nico.” “Don’t pretend you aren’t too.” Chaeyoung giggled. “You are just as in love with her as Sana is. She’s my competition for your heart.” Chaeyoung smiled when a tiny foot kicked her arm as Nico wiggled in Jihyo’s lap.

“You know I love both of you right? It’s not a competition. I love both of you.” Jihyo nodded, resting her head on Chaeyoung’s shoulder. Chaeyoung’s arm snaked its way around her waist and Jihyo smiled. “I know. Don’t tell Nico though, we have a bet going.” Chaeyoung laughed as Nico’s foot kicked her again. Chaeyoung took her free hand and grabbed Nico’s foot, squeezing her clothed foot. Nico’s toes curled reflexively, gripping onto Chaeyoung's hand while she played with Jihyo’s shirt collar. Their perfect moment was interrupted when Jihyo’s phone rang. Jihyo sighed, moving Nico to one arm to pick up the phone. Chaeyoung squeezed Jihyo’s waist before letting go, moving to take Nico from her girlfriend. Nico giggled as Chaeyoung lifted her up as high as she could before bringing her back in. Jihyo eyed her with an amused smile while she talked on the phone, but it was quickly replaced with a look Chaeyoung knew all too well. “Your boss?” Chaeyoung asked once Jihyo was off the phone. “It’s Saturday. My boss knows I don’t work weekends.” Jihyo sighed. “But there’s an emergency in the case, if I don't fix it we might not be able to get the conviction.” “I get it.” Chaeyoung smiled. “You have an important job. Nico knows that too. I’ve got her, go.” “Thank you so much. I love you. You're the best.” Jihyo gave Chaeyoung a quick kiss before getting up to get dressed. “I know. I’m the best girlfriend in the world. It’s a curse.” Chaeyoung said dramatically. Jihyo laughed as she quickly threw on work appropriate clothes. Once she was dressed she pulled her hair up in a quick ponytail before moving to say goodbye. “Be good for Auntie Chaeyoung Nico.” Jihyo kissed Nico’s chubby cheek. “And you, no roughhousing.” “Can’t make any promises.” Chaeyoung giggled. “I’m serious. I should be back after lunch. You have Sana’s number but in case your phone dies it’s on the fridge. Her bottles with instructions are in the fridge. Sana wrote them so they should be pretty through but if you have any questions I’ll keep my phone on and Momo calls herself the master of bottles, she doesn’t need to eat until after her mid-day nap but if I’m not back by then you’ll need to take care of it. She needs to nap at eleven thirty, and she should be awake by one. The baby monitor is on but if there’s any issues with it-”

“Jihyo, it’s okay. Seriously you and Sana both spiral so much. It’s going to be okay. Nico and I have hung out before. I love you, have fun at work.” Chaeyoung giggled, kissing Jihyo one more time.

“Thank you. I love you too. Bye Chae, bye Nico!” Chaeyoung had to practically push Jihyo out of the apartment. “It’s just you and me kiddo.” Chaeyoung giggled, kissing Nico’s cheek before taking her over to the couch. She sat for a few minutes before Nico started whining. Chaeyoung quickly went through the usual list of Nico things but it quickly dawned on her why Nico was whining. “You're bored. Alright, let’s find something for you to do.” Chaeyoung went over to the baby bag Sana had packed and looked through it. She found a toy for Nico, pulling it out and giving it to Nico. Nico felt the toy, but immediately threw it. “Alright not that.” Chaeyoung sighed. She had spent time with Nico before, but not alone. She actually had never watched kids alone. Her best friend growing up babysat a bit in high school for some extra money, but Chaeyoung only went with her once and the kid was ten. It was nothing like taking care of a baby. It was a little overwhelming. So Chaeyoung did what she normally did when she had no idea what to do. Google.

After a quick “what to do with a two month old” google search and looking through a few articles she came to the conclusion she had no idea what she was doing. She had already tried toys, Nico had quickly rejected that. Sana and Momo handled tummy time so Chaeyoung didn’t want to do anything that would be wrong or confusing for Nico. Nico’s nap didn’t start for an hour, and she clearly wasn’t hungry. “What do you want to do baby?” Chaeyoung sighed, thinking about what to do. “You could help Auntie Chaeyoung with her work, would that be fun?” Chaeyoung’s answer came with a tiny kick to the arm and she took that as a yes. She carried Nico over to the makeshift paint station she had in the corner of their living room. Before she moved in, Jihyo had an old piano she had inherited from her family there. Now the piano sat on the other side of the living room and Jihyo’s dead plant that had been sitting in her living room for way too long had been replaced. Chaeyoung liked the change, it felt a lot more homey. “Alright let’s see. Here, this is non-toxic. Have you ever painted before?” Chaeyoung asked. “I’m guessing you haven’t. Your mommies are kind of boring. Let’s change that.” Chaeyoung smiled. “Do you know what color this is? This is red.” Chaeyoung smiled, getting some red non-toxic paint and putting some on her paint tray. She moved Nico so she was using one hand to support her body, Nico looking at her curiously. Chaeyoung put one finger in the red paint, showing it to Nico before putting it on the blank canvas. “Want to try?” Chaeyoung grabbed one of Nico’s hands and put it in the paint before putting it on the canvas. Nico giggled as a tiny hand print appeared on the canvas. “Like that? Let’s get some more colors yeah?” xx

Jihyo got through her work as quickly as possible. She wanted to be back before Nico’s nap in case Chaeyoung had trouble putting her down and she wanted to spend time with Nico. Thankfully, she got through it all quickly. She rushed home as fast as she could, noting she got home a couple minutes before Nico’s nap was supposed to start.

“Chae? I’m back!” Jihyo called when she entered the apartment. She took her shoes off before going into the living room. She saw her daughter and girlfriend sitting at Chaeyoung’s painting station. Both of them were covered in paint somehow but both had huge smiles on their faces. Jihyo couldn’t help herself but take a picture. “Hi baby.” Jihyo greeted after taking a picture.

“Oh hey! Nico look Mama’s back!” Chaeyoung giggled. “We made art.” “I can see that.” Jihyo smiled, taking Nico from Chaeyong and giggling at how much paint was on the denim dress Sana had put on her that morning. “Let’s go get you clean and then take a nap.” “I’ll clean up here.” Chaeyoung smiled. Jihyo nodded and carried Nico to their bedroom. She undressed Nico before putting her in the sink and gently wiping the paint off of her. She put on Nico’s pink frog print pajamas before sitting down on the bed with Nico in her arms. She rubbed Nico’s back and hummed to her as she waited for her to fall asleep. Nico was out quicker than Jihyo had ever seen her, and Jihyo gently put her in her crib before going back to her girlfriend. “She asleep?” Chaeyoung asked. “She fell asleep faster than she ever has with me.” Jihyo smiled, sitting in Chaeyoung’s lap. “Cool. Look at the art we did.” Chaeyoung showed Jihyo the canvas, which was covered in paint smudges and tiny hand prints. “Aww. We should hang this in the new living room.” Jihyo giggled.

“Hmm.. I think we should put it in Nico’s new room. The nice thing about moving is she will have her own room with us too.” “We could do that. Or you two could make a smaller one and it could go onto our new fancy fridge.” Jihyo offered. “Oh, sounds good. I meant to ask, would you prefer purple or blue for Nico’s new room? I was thinking we could do a sky theme with clouds and stars, but I wanted to ask your opinion first.” Chaeyoung asked.

“Chaeyoung, you really don’t have to-”

“No no no. You agreed to give me complete creative control of Nico’s room when you decided to give her her own room. It’s part of being my girlfriend.” Chaeyoung wrapped her arms around Jihyo’s waist.

“I was going to say, you don’t need to paint my daughter’s room. It’s a lot of work-”

“I know. But we can do it together. Nico deserves the world.” Chaeyoung kissed Jihyo’s temple. “Plus painting is kind of sexy, isn’t it?” “I can’t believe you.” Jihyo rolled her eyes, but couldn’t fight the proud smile on her face. Even if she was faking annoyance, she loved how much Chaeyoung loved Nico. When they were first dating, Chaeyoung had seemed apprehensive about Nico. Jihyo and her were already dating when Jihyo found out Sana was pregnant, but their relationship was only a few weeks old and definitely not in a place to be having kids together. Chaeyoung was younger than her too, so Jihyo was worried about how she would be with Nico. But ever since Chaeyoung had met her, she had been in love with Nico. And it seemed the longer they were together, the more Chaeyoung fell in love with Jihyo’s daughter. Nico was important to Jihyo, and so was Chaeyoung. She couldn’t help but be filled to the brim with happiness seeing them get along. “Love you too Hyo.”

[butterflyinthewell]

To trans folks who are trying to set trolls straight about Chris-Chan’s gender: Your hearts are in the right place, but the trolls do not care. They will keep misgendering Chris to piss you off and screenshot your reaction.

Yes, I’m talking about THE Chris-Chan. CWC, creator of Sonichu.

(TW: this post will mention rape and incest.)

I know, I know… “But if we let people misgender Chris, what’s stopping them from doing it to other trans people?”

Nothing.

There’s nothing you can do, unfortunately. The thing with trolls is they aren’t here to learn, they’re here to frustrate, annoy and anger you. They throw out all kinds of little hooks by saying offensive things, or things that trick you, and it’s all a game to them when somebody bites the bait.

It wouldn’t surprise me if trolls are saying horrible things about autism, too. That’s more my lane and partly why I don’t dig too deep in the tags about this situation. Again, I stress not engaging with that to correct trolls. They don’t care, they want to offend you.

As frustrating as it is, take note of the people who use Chris’ current pronouns and recognize that there are people who make an effort to get them right. I’m sure the trans people reading what you say will see that and know you care to gender them correctly.

It’s possible Chris transitioned believing she can get with lesbians. It’s entirely possible she’s exactly the stereotype that TERFs rant about and her shitty behavior might be used in the future to argue their views. TERFs will be TERFs. Some of Chris’ trolls may be trans themselves.

As it stands, Chris presents as a woman, so I’ll use she/her pronouns unless she decides to present as non-binary or a man again. You’re welcome to do the same when talking about her. Don’t waste your time trying to correct trolls, just use Chris’ current pronouns and leave it at that.

It sucks, but that’s how trolls troll.

Moving on…

I wonder if Chris would’ve been a weird, harmless nobody if Mimms never took her photo in The Game Place.

This all started because her photo was taken without her knowledge or consent and posted on a forum, which ended up spreading to the wider web and…yeah.

Would she have been an internet sensation? Would she have transitioned? Would she be a known name on the web?

Maybe everything would’ve gone down the same, but without an audience to bear witness.

Regardless, Chris is a trainwreck of a person. I don’t say that lightly. She didn’t deserve the trolling and abuse she got, yet she isn’t innocent in this either.

I felt sorry for her at first because I’m autistic too and was bullied severely in high school, some of it included physical assault and attempted murder. I reacted to the constant name calling and mockery irl a lot like Chris reacted to her online trolls. I’m thankful that my most volatile years happened before I had internet access. I’m two years older than Chris. I had my own drama with trolls that lasted a few years, but I grew up a bit more.

But I digress…

Chris didn’t get the internet safety talk that I got before getting let loose online, and people took advantage of her gullibility, her autism, whatever mental illnesses she might have and her obsession with getting laid. She ignored warnings to the contrary and in some instances her mom enabled her while her dad tried (and failed) to reign her in.

At the same time, Chris has a history of being racist, ableist, homophobic and misogynistic. She ignores people’s boundaries even when they were clearly stated. She’s entitled and thinks everything bad is a conspiracy against her. She acts like the world operates on cartoon rules and can’t handle it when situations don’t turn out in her favor like she believes they should. It’s a strange view of “Anything I do is good because I did it, and anybody who tells me it’s bad or treats me badly is evil or a troll.”

How she comes across to others and how she thinks she comes across are incongruent with each other, and she refuses to take any correction. An example is the claw hand she used to do while railing at trolls. It’s clear she’s imitating stuff she saw in cartoons, but doesn’t grasp that it looks silly in real life. It leaves me wondering if she ever watched her videos back to see how she really looks before uploading them.

Chris did a lot of disgusting things of her own volition, like not leaving people alone, uploading that sexual drawing featuring Megan, using pepper spray without provocation and trying to hit someone with her car.

Trolls tricked her into humiliating herself and shared the results, like hacking into her email, sharing chats where she gave out embarrassing details about herself, prank calling her house and posting the infamous blowup doll video.

If you know “Christory”, you know what I’m talking about.

If you don’t know, it’s something that’s gone on longer than some people have been alive.

No side is innocent here. I don’t blame Chris for attracting trolls, they chose to go and harass her because she jumped when they poked her.

I’ve followed Chris’ story off and on since 2008, back when she was making her Sonichu comics and being awkward. I never participated in trolling her. I’ve only ever seen the aftermath of troll operations, but the things she endured were cruel. (The Miyamoto saga and the BlueSpike saga come to mind.) I looked her up to see if she was alive and okay. I sent her my AFBV message a couple years ago, but never got a response.

I wonder if this could’ve been avoided if Chris never got trolled and was supervised better while online. That’s where her parents failed her. I felt bad for her; she didn’t know how to conduct herself and kept falling for trolling schemes because she was so desperate to get a girlfriend. It’s like she ignored that little gut warning that says “hey, this feels like a trick” and it was like watching someone fall down the same hillside over and over.

But after what she did to her mom, I lost any sympathy I had for her. Yes, trolls have traumatized her and messed with her head for over a decade and that’s gross, but what she did to her mom was unconscionable. It’s indefensible. It’s morally abhorrent.

She had sex with (or possibly raped via coercion) her elderly mom, who may have dementia.

Chris’ autism was taken advantage of for years, and now she might’ve taken advantage of her mom’s dementia to harm her for the past month.

Think about that. There is no defending that. She finally did something she can’t just wave away or pay her way out of.

Trolls didn’t put Chris up to that, she did it all by herself.

Now she’s under arrest.

Time and again Chris has had run-ins with the law and got away with slaps on the wrist, but I don’t think she’s going to walk away from this so easily.

I hope this situation finally gets Chris the help she desperately needs. I don’t know if her dimensional merge stuff is a delusion from undiagnosed and untreated mental illness or if it’s a paracosm she’s chosen to live in and act out because she can’t handle how cruel the real world is. Please note that I don’t say mental illness lightly either, because I’m aware of the stigma.

At this point I think she needs a caregiver who will supervise her online activities and help her manage her finances. (She will likely resist this…)

Chris’ autism and whatever else she has going on appears to make it very difficult for her to see things from any perspective besides her own. I’m autistic too, so I understand this— sometimes I get this way and have to walk myself back to see other perspectives, or I ask people to give me their side of it to help me understand how they see it even if I don’t agree with their view.

Chris needed more guidance and reality checks growing up, but didn’t get them, and now she needs both more than ever as she faces the results of her behavior. If she is delusional, she needs help to navigate it and I hope she can do that away from trolls. She needs to face consequences for (possibly) raping someone.

I wonder what the legal system will do with her, and I hate that her life has come to this. It was so avoidable. 😞

Sorry, Chris…I hope you’ll get help now, and I hope Barb is okay.

[oneweekoneband]

her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages.  (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time. 

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot. 

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift,  she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Teen Witch

Controversial opinion: stories about witches are the best stories. Just look at WandaVision - bitches ate that UP because it’s about WITCHES, which means it’s ultimately about loss and trauma and female (literal) empowerment in the face of those tragedies (and I mean there’s some complicated stuff in there about inflicting trauma upon others, even accidentally, and that’s kind of a witch thing too). And Sabrina is all well and good and everything, but what if you want your witch story to be a little less Dark Arts and a little more candy-coated? Have I got the film for you! Wes requested Teen Witch as part of his quest to expand my cheesy 80s cult classic knowledge, and boy did this one deliver. How 80s-tastic are we talking? Well...

The basic story is this: Louise (Robyn Lively) is a typical teen girl who occupies the nerd level of the high school hierarchy. You know the type - soft-spoken, nerdy best friend, has a crush on the cutest guy in school (Dan Gauthier), made fun of in gym class by all the cheerleaders. One day she crashes her bike in front of a psychic’s home/place of business and goes inside to use the phone, but gets her palm read first. The psychic, named Madame Serena, (Zelda Rubenstein, playing, I’m assuming, herself) tells her she will soon come into some witchy powers on her 16th birthday. When Louise’s birthday rolls around, you guessed it - witching aplenty. She gets the popularity, she gets the cute guy, she ditches her nerdy friend; it’s basically The Princess Diaries without Queen Julie Andrews. But then, y’know, she learns a valuable lesson about the high price of popularity and how important it is to be true to yourse--wait, no she doesn’t, she takes off her magic necklace and smooches with the boy she likes at the school dance and that’s how it ends.

Some thoughts:

This slow motion credit sequence is incredible. See, we just don’t have this anymore, where the movie starts and you have no fucking idea what’s going on. The 80s really knew how to draw an audience in. Is this a dream? Is this a music video? No one knows! That’s why it’s exciting!

Why are tv and movies so obsessed with a completely made-up depiction of what takes place outside a high school’s entrance before the first bell? Apparently there’s a busker festival going on at this high school every day - there’s guys doing BMX tricks, an all white rap group, I think I saw some jugglers.

I’ve actually taught in both middle and high school, so I know this English teacher (Shelley Berman) wouldn’t be fired for being such a shitty teacher, but he should be. 

Is this like...a musical? First there was the terrible rapping, now there are cheerleaders doing “the new cheer” which is literally a song just saying “I...LIKE...BOYS!” and there’s a dance routine on top of lockers - there’s a lot of towel choreography. It feels like a musical in the sense that it’s nonsensical, but I don’t actually think it IS a musical. Genre-defying!

It’s kinda creepy that Louise is watching an extended montage of Brad (Gauthier) working out shirtless from the shadows but like...same, girl. Damn, Brad.

Aw, at least Brad is reasonably nice. Louise, show some backbone! You shouldn’t have been too proud to let him drive you home after he ran you off the road on your bike accidentally!

I am just mystified by the market for roles that were appropriate for Zelda Rubenstein in the 80s. What is this niche? Which came first, Zelda Rubenstein, or these characters? 

I am also mystified by this gremliny little brother (Joshua John Miller) who seems to be obsessed with eating cake and never washing his hair. He’s like a goblin trapped in a diminutive nonbinary body made of pizza and spite. [ETA: I now feel a little bad for finding him so repellent in this, as the actor wrote one of my favorite meta horror movies, The Final Girls, in 2015. So at least he grew up and made something cool of himself.]

OMFG did Brad just hit the soda machine for her like the fucking Fonz? 

There is (temporarily) a Very Good Dog who is not harmed in any way.

In what universe does Louise see what her date, David (Jared Chandler), is wearing and be like “he’s such a geek” when she looks like an extra from Leave it to Beaver. 

The DJ just said “OK guys, grab your wallets, it’s a slow song.” What...does that even mean? Is he implying that slow dances are expensive? Ooh or even more nefarious, that there’s a rampant pickpocketing problem during slow dances?

Did Louise...just imply that the number of light years away a star is dictates how soon a wish you make on that star would come true? Listen. I’m no astrophysicist. But I have read enough Neil Degrasse Tyson tweets to know that that’s not how any of this works. 

OK I take back what I said, David is a fucking CREEP. Drag his ass, Louise. However, I think she may have straight up murdered him by making him disappear. David is never seen or heard from again in this film. 

Obsessed with the dad’s sweaters both because they are ridiculous and because he is the lesser Darren from the original Bewitched. 

It feels weird that Louise’s revenge involves forcing Mr. Weaver to take his clothes off in front of the class.Who wants that? Like I get that it’s humiliating for him, but really, you’re only punishing yourself here Louise. 

There is a rap-off that is meant to convey electric sexual tension between two nerdy ass white kids. 

I don’t know what it was like at your school, but I can tell you for sure that at my high school no one ever applauded when the most popular girl in school walked into the classroom like she’s Kramer making an entrance on Seinfeld.

Why is Brad taking her to an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere? And why is she wearing heels?

Oh god she took the heels off and now she’s barefoot in this decrepit house, that’s so much worse! TETANUS EXISTS LOUISE.

Wait are they going to fuck in the abandoned house? Brad has a girlfriend! You brought heels, but did you bring condoms?? I guess she has bigger concerns than tetanus now. Also I feel so bad for these actors, they are both DRIPPING sweat. That must have been a miserable shoot.

I’ve said this before, but the 80s were such an incredible time for himbo fashion. Crop tops, those tank tops with the giant holes for the arms, teeny little basketball shorts. In the 90s all we had were JNCOs and weirdly “urbanized” Looney Tunes characters on baggy t-shirts. Gen X has no idea how good they had it re: male fashion. 

I’m genuinely obsessed with the idea that popularity means the school just has banners all over that say “LOUISE” and she gets like, cards and fan mail that say “Louise U R the best.” This feels like if you ask a kindergartner what being popular means.

Madame Serena just said “the real magic is believing in yourself” which is exactly what Louise’s dad said like 15 minutes ago, but I guess he wasn’t a 3-foot-tall witch so no one paid attention when he said it. 

Y’know for an 80s prom outfit, Louise’s dress is pretty cute. 

I cannot stress enough that Brad’s girlfriend is at this dance while he and Louise are kissing! Does no one care? Were high school attitudes toward monogamy just way more flexible in the 80s? 

Did I Cry? Shyeah, right. 

This is such an odd, mostly charming, but wildly perplexing little movie. There was no antagonist or real conflict here, at all. Louise barely struggles with any sort of tension or remorse about having her powers and what it means for her life, she just kind of decides at the end that she’s over it, and she still gets the guy and no actual negative consequences from bending the entire school to her will for the past few months. I mean, in The Craft, when people use magic for their own gains, other people fucking DIE. I was definitely entertained, but a lot of it was due to me saying, “What? How? What?” loudly at the screen. I can see how this has gained a cult following in much the same way that other oddball 80s fare like Better Off Dead or Girls Just Wanna Have Fun did. Watch it once, then watch it again while you get drunk with your friends (in a post-Covid world, obviously) and you’ll probably have a pretty great time. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[ellectric-blue]

star filled nights | shigaraki tomura

☆ A/N: HEY HEY HEY @yourlostairpods​!!!!! It is I, your spring time anon, also known as ~ (＾▽＾). I LOVED talking with you!!! Coming up/sending asks and reading your answers was just so much fun 🥺asdfhgjlaskjdf I knew I was gonna go with this idea on like the 3rd day but ofc I left it for Monday and ended up changing it completely 🤪 Anyway, if there’s anything you want me to change PLEASE lmk, I wanted to make this perfect for my favorite airpod burner ;) My brain still decides to change the ‘lost’ with ‘burnt’ in your URL and I’ve decided to stop fighting it 😌 Also, I have no clue how ACNH works, so just imagine new leaf but on the switch :P._

☆ pairing: shigaraki x reader

☆ summary: it’s your league-iversary and shiggy has a surprise :)

It had been three years since you joined the league and you were certain no one would remember your league-iversary. After all, you never made a big deal out of it and avoided mentioning it. The memory of League rescuing you all those years ago is not one of your favorites.

You had just graduated from the hero course and got a spot in one of the best agencies in all of Japan. You got to work under the #2 hero as one of his sidekicks. However, you would soon learn it wasn’t what you were expecting at all. The heroes here weren’t exactly heroic, choosing which crimes to pursue and who to help depending on how much media coverage they would get. All that mattered was your rank. This led you to become disillusioned with hero society. Was this really what I trained for all this time? One night, while scrolling on the internet, you stumbled upon a video with Stain’s beliefs, something you’d never thought you’d agree with. However, it all made sense.

Eventually, you tried to take matters into your own hands. You planned to take your agency’s files and release them to the public, endangering undercover operations and the lives of many heroes. At this point, you didn’t really care. They’re doing it for fame anyway, you thought. You infiltrated the office, but your ex-coworkers quickly noticed something fishy was going on. Right as you were about to be caught, ending your career as a villain before it even started, black mist encompassed the room and you were transported to the League’s base. Over the next three years, these people, who you once believed to be heartless criminals with no morals, would become you new family.

As you reminisced about the start of your adventure, you could start to see sunlight coming from the slightly ajar window. You sat up from your bed and placed your feet on the cold floor. Today was meant to be a quiet day. The League didn’t have any mischievous plans and the heroes hadn’t bothered them for a while. On days like these everyone does their own thing, and everyone gets to bond. Jin, Toga, and Dabi usually hang out and play board games, much to Dabi’s dismay; Spinner and Compress watch and critique movies; and Shigaraki and Kurogiri play video games. In reality, Shigaraki was the only one playing videogames. Kurogiri just kept him company while he watched. You switched between the three groups depending on the day, you loved how, although you all had your different interests, you could bond over silly things like games and movies.

You walked over to the couch in the center of the room and sat down next to Shigaraki. Kurogiri took this action as his cue to leave. At this point, it was impossible to deny the feelings you had developed for your fellow League member. After everything you had gone through together, you were sure of your feelings but never had enough courage to confess. Thankfully, although they don’t like to admit it, most of the League is completely oblivious to details, and after all this time, only two people caught onto your feelings. Kurogiri, who never mentioned anything until you asked him why he always left you and Shigaraki alone, and Dabi, who you confided in after a long night of talking.

You made sure to leave enough space between you and Shigaraki to fit a small cat. Once Kurogiri knew about your feelings, he explained that the reason Shigaraki keeps most people away is because he could never forgive himself if he accidentally activated his quirk around one of the League’s members. You waited patiently in silence for Shigaraki to finish his opponent in smash. It was a known rule that one should wait for Shigaraki to finish whatever match he’s playing, for if you didn’t, he would lose and that came with even worse repercussions.

“Three years, huh?” Shigaraki said with a soft smile, not taking his eyes off the game.

“You remembered?”

“Of course, how could I ever forget the moment I met my favorite member?” 

You could feel your heart pulsating behind your eyes, his favorite member? That couldn’t be right. He finished his opponent off with rapid, constant pressing of the buttons and turned to face you, his eyes were squinting a bit while he gave you a closed-lip smile. 

“What do you wanna play, y/n?”

Although he claimed he was a hardcore gamer, you knew he was secretly obsessed with Animal Crossing. 

“I could show you my Animal Crossing town, I bet my town is prettier than yours,” you knew that by challenging him would certainly make him want to play 

“That’s a lost bet y/n, I am a master at Animal Crossing.”

“You can’t be a master, you’ve only been playing for the past few months.” 

“Just wait and see.”

He pulls out his cartridge and you pull your console out, loading the game you’ve been working on perfecting since before you even joined the League. You had the Beautiful Town Ordinance and had built most Public Work Projects, there was no way he could beat you at this. That was until you actually saw his town. Shigaraki had the most intricate town you had ever seen. It was Japanese themed, and he managed to remodel the Town Hall and the train station. He had laid down paths and completed all the stores in Main Street. His museum was full, he had all the fruits, native and non-native, and even his villagers were perfect.

“H-how did you manage to make all your villagers cats?” you choked out, flabbergasted at how wrong you were. 

“I traded my old villagers online, noob.”

It was an understatement to say that you were jealous and embarrassed. The town you had been working so hard on all this time was not even comparable to the one Shigaraki operated. You had been trying to get rid of annoying villagers like Vladimir and Webber for years, and he got all your favorites in mere months! He even had Chief, who had always been your favorite.

“You win Shigaraki,” you muttered with your head down, looking defeated; although not for long, for you challenged Shigaraki to play the island games with you. Your refined expertise thanks to years’ worth of practice would certainly give you an advantage. 

If it weren’t for the real-time mechanisms of the game, you two would’ve never noticed it was already dark out.

“Don’t you love how the game changes with time?” you asked with a shy smile, getting to spend all day playing games with Shigaraki was not an everyday occurrence. 

“Not really, it makes it harder to see and I have to turn the brightness up,” disagreed Shigaraki. 

“But look,” you pointed at the screen, today seemed to be a really special day, “we got a meteor shower.”

Before you could say anything else, you could feel four fingers pulling at your wrist. 

“I’ll show you something cooler, close your eyes.” 

You let out a quiet okay while you stumbled to your feet and let yourself be dragged. You walked carefully up some stairs and then heard a heavy lock open, followed by the creak of a bulky metal door. Shigaraki guided you forward by your waist until you touched a cold, metal handrail. He gently pushed your forehead down, making you look up.

“Open your eyes.” 

As you did, you could see the sky littered with glowing white dots, accompanied by a full moon on the side. After taking in such a sight, you turned to Shigaraki who hadn’t let go of your waist. Behind him, there was a massive cherry blossom tree. His skin was glowing under the moon and you wondered if this was the right moment. Shigaraki pointed at the sky. 

“You see that group of stars over there?” 

“Yeah, isn’t that Ophiuchus?” 

“Maybe,” said Shigaraki with a chuckle; “I like to call it angry Kurogiri.”

You burst out laughing. It does look like an angry version of Kurogiri with his hands on his hips, staring you down in disappointment. 

“If that’s angry Kurogiri then this one over here is Toga when she sees that one UA student.” 

“Fair, and that one over there is Kirby with his mouth open.”

As you continued to rename famous constellations, your gazed slowly shifted to Shiggy. His crimson eyes were shining with happiness. It was a rare sight to see him so lively outside of accomplishing a mission. He looks back at you and you couldn’t help but blush. A shy smile taking place. You look away, trying not to think about it. Where we having a moment? No, you couldn’t have, Shigaraki doesn’t do relationships._ But what if…_

The two of you continued gazing at the stars and next thing you knew your shoulders were touching. You look back at him and he takes your hands, making sure to keep his pinkies up. 

“Shiggy? What are you doing?” 

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

With that, he softly lets go of one of your hands and carefully places it on your chin, bringing it up so that your lips meet his. You felt like a firework show was going on inside you. As you separated, you slowly opened your closed eyes and saw that the cold night wind blew the pink sakura flowers in a way that they flew around you. It felt like a stereotypical shoujo manga scene, but you couldn’t care less. You softly caressed his face, surprised at his actions. 

“Tomura.”

When you said his name, you could see the glint in his scarlet eyes deepen, prompting you to kiss him back. This time, it lasted longer, and you could feel his rough lips against your soft ones. He let go of your other hand and placed it on your waist, pulling you closer until you were completely pressed against him. You could feel his rapid heartbeat, and he could feel yours. The rush of adrenaline and happiness you were feeling made you wish the moment would never end, but you separated, pulling for air. As you looked into his crimson eyes, with your body completely pressed against his, he opened his mouth to speak. 

“Will you be my player two?”

[cutaepatootie]

Animal - 09 | FINAL

Pairing: Jungkook | Reader Genre: boxer jungkook | angst | tiny bits of fluff and humor Word Count: 15k

Warnings: implicit sex, explicit descriptions of violence, blood, character death (ups), really realistic and gore descriptions, dark themes as drugs, gangs, police getting involved... This is one of the darkest things I’ve ever written, please be careful and if you don’t feel good reading those things... Skip them, please.

A/N: Today is my birthday and as my gift to you... Here you have it, the final chapter, I’m not ready, Animal is my baby, I don’t wanna say goodbye but... The time has come. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for joining me in this long journey. Lots of love!

 previous chapter ← 09 | final chapter

It felt weird, the fact that after two months, everything felt normal again.

Having Jungkook with you every night, falling asleep in his arms and waking up buried beneath his body – the boy moved so much in his sleep you could swear one day he was going to suffocate you – it all felt so normal.

You hadn’t talked about the final wrestling match again and you just hoped he would make the right decision.

The final day of your practices at the hospital, was a sad day, having to say goodbye to all your patients and all the people that had become your family, the ones that had taken care of you and the ones that had taught you so much, but it had to arrive, and you had to say goodbye.

You brought one of your carrot cakes and you all ate it while you laugh remembering the different anecdotes you had lived. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the idea that, in just a few months, you would be working as a nurse instead of studying as one.

You tried to make the most out of everything. The last time you entered the equipment room, the last time you walked down the corridor of your floor, greeting patients and their family. The last time you got on the elevator, changed clothes inside the changing rooms, somehow remembering Jungkook as you stared at a certain wooden bench. In there, he had sat while you sewed up his brow after his car accident. It was when he had asked you to go out with him, just as friends of course.

You smiled, thinking how much things had changed since then.

In love…

Two small words, but fuck, how much meaning they held.

You walked out of the hospital that Friday night, smiling as you walked away from your student life. You were going to graduate on Sunday, fuck.

Your mother, grandparents and your aunt had traveled to the city to attend your graduation and they were staying at a hotel not far from your campus. You had been there with them for lunch that day.

As you opened the door of your dorm, still smiling like a silly girl, you started smelling something familiar.

You frowned, closing the door behind you. The room was dark, but it smelled like… Cheese?

You switched on the light to find Jungkook lying on your bed, a family sized pizza by his side as he smiled brightly at you.

“Congratulations, nurse Y/N,” he smirked.

You smiled widely and approached him, leaving your things on the floor.

“I haven’t graduated yet, so technically I’m not a nurse yet,” you said. “Would you put your life in the hands of this semi-nurse?”

“I’ve already done it, and it has turned out pretty good,” he pointed at himself.

You laughed and sat on the bed.

“Is it from Pizza Planet?”

“Of course, do you think I would buy you pizza from a place that wasn’t Pizza Planet?”

You chuckled again and punched him in the arm.

“You better not if you want to win your way to my heart.”

“Oh, c’mon,” he said in a dramatic way, throwing himself on your lap. “I’ve already won that long time ago.”

You punched him in the arm.

“Don’t push it, Jungkook,” you grunted. “I can kick you out of my room and spend my night alone with this pizza… Doing nasty things.”

“Oh…” he hummed, lifting himself up from your lap. “Would you do nasty things without me?”

“Mhm,” you nodded.

“What a nasty girl,” he purred.

And then, kissed you like he had been kissing you all week. With passion, with playfulness… With love.

You spent the night alone in your small room, sitting on the bed with the pizza in between you, soft music playing on the background and only your fairy lights lighting up the room. You talked and laughed, you showing him some video you had seen on Twitter that had caused you to almost peed yourself. Of course, Jungkook had to be extra and had to copy the video, dancing to Take on Me with a pair of ugly glasses you had hidden somewhere in your room while you recorded him and cracked up like a mad woman.

“I’m literally crying,” you said in between gasps, your stomach hurting from all the laughing. You wiped a tear away from the corner of your eye dramatically as Jungkook laughed – in that beautiful high-pitched laugh he made when he found something really funny – and approached you.

“Lemme see,” he said, grabbing your phone as he plopped down on the bed by your side.

The both of you laughed until the girl whose room was right next to yours knocked on the wall, letting you know that you were disturbing her.

You clasped a hand over your mouth to muffle your laughs. Jungkook hid his face on your pillow, but from how his body was shaking, you could see he was still laughing.

“Stop laughing,” you protested, your laughs dying down as you sat on his lower back. “If she knocks once again, then I won’t be able to protest ever again when she makes a noise.”

“Why do you care?” he said, lifting his head from the pillow and craning his neck so he can stare at you. “You’ll graduate on Sunday.”

“Yeah, but I’ll live here until I find a good apartment and a job as a nurse!”

“Whatever, it will be summer and no one cares about noise in summer.”

You rolled your eyes. “You say this because you don’t live here.”

He arched his brow and, in one swift movement, pulled you away from him and laid on his back, placing you back on top of him.

“You could just move in with me.”

You arched a brow back.

“What do you mean?”

“What does ‘moving in’ means?” he teased you, pinching your sides.

Your heart skipped a bit. Just the thought of waking up in that fluffy bed, under the sunlight that seeped from those big windows and seeing the mass of wavy, bed-hair that was Jungkook made your tummy jump.

“Isn’t it a bit soon for that?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “If I get tired of you and your obsession with order and tidying, I will kick you out.”

“Hey!” you pouted.

“But I’ll wait to kick you out until you have enough money saved to rent your own apartment, I’m not that cruel. What do you think about it?”

“Hmm… Let me think,” you placed your index finger and thumb on your chin, as if you were deep in thought. “I could enjoy a house that has more than one room… Your big TV is a pro too, and the shower, the bed…”

“And me?”

“You’re a con, definitely.”

He gasped and grabbed your sides, pushing you onto the bed and rolling on top of you. He started tickling you as you fought against him.

“Ah!” was the only thing you could say in between the laughs that erupted from your throat. He had always used your tickly skin against you, and you suddenly had a déjà vu, to a night you had been in your old apartment, debating whether you should play Mario Kart or Overwatch. Of course, he won, and you ended up playing Overwatch – which you hated because he always won you.

“You’re the biggest pro of them all,” you whispered in his ear.

The tickles soon turned into kisses and the screams into moans.

You could hear the girl in the room next to yours knocking on the wall, but neither of you cared, muffling your laughs with each other’s lips.

. . .

“Oh my God!” your mother gasped as she saw you emerging from your dorm building. “What a stunning daughter I have!”

She brought her hands to her mouth as she walked towards you to hug you.

“You only call me stunning when I wear make-up,” you chuckled, hugging her back.

She broke the hug, her hands on your shoulders as she eyed you up and down.

“Don’t lie,” she pouted. “Your father and I did a great job!”

You laughed and walked away from her and towards the car, greeting your grandparents and your aunt, who was sitting on the driver’s seat.

On the way to your campus, you were trembling, so nervous you couldn’t stop bouncing your leg up and down. Your lilac suit was making you sweat, so you took the blazer off, leaving you in your black crop top and the lilac pants.

You were nervous because that day was the last day of your life as a student, it was the door to your adult life. You were so used to going to class, or to practices, studying, preparing for the final exams… That you were afraid you wouldn’t know what to do without all that. You were nervous because you didn’t know how to walk with high-heels, and you were wearing a pair of black sandals taller than a pencil, you were sure you were going to trip on the stairs as you got on the stage once you heard your name in the big theatre hall of your campus.  You were nervous because of a lot of things, but there was one that stood above the rest.

Jungkook.

That same night would be the final match of the wrestling season, and ever since you had sort of reconciled on Monday, you hadn’t spoken about it again. You didn’t know if he would fight or if he would stay at home. You had given him an invitation to the party that your classmates were throwing after the graduating ceremony, but he had just kept it in the back pocket of his jeans without saying a thing.

You closed your eyes and hoped that, whatever the decision Jungkook made was the right one.

Evey looked beautiful in her baby yellow dress, her long hair curled and falling down her shoulders softly. You nearly cried as you hugged her, you had gone through so much together… It was hard to believe that you were the same girls that had met four years before as you were trying to buy some snacks from the broken vending machine in your campus. It took you three lost coins to realize it was broken.

You clapped like crazy when her name echoed around the theatre hall and she did the same when it sounded yours. In the end, you didn’t trip with the stairs and you grabbed your diploma looking classy in your lilac suit.

You weren’t going to lie, you enjoyed the cocktail after the ceremony, and tried to make the most out of it with your family and your friends, but you were a bit out of it.

It was nine pm, in only one hour, the fight would start. It meant that, if Jungkook had made the decision of fighting, he was already there.

“Hello,” you heard a soft voice say.

Your aunt stopped talking and you turned around, a small sandwich in your hand, to see Evey awkwardly smiling at your family.

“Hey, Evey!” your mother smiled at her, hugging her. “Congratulations sweetheart, I’m so proud of the both of you.”

“Thank you,” she hugged your mother back, all smiles.

“Are your parents here?” your mother asked when they broke the hug. “I haven’t seen them.”

“Oh,” Evey said, turning around to point somewhere in the crowd. “Yeah, they’re there with my brother and my grandparents. They asked me about you too.”

“I’ll greet them later.”

“They’ll love it,” she smiled kindly. “It’s been great seeing you today.”

She said goodbye to your family and grabbed your hand, leading you away from them so you could talk in private.

“What happens?” you asked, frowning.

“I’m going now… To the match, are you coming?”

She knew nothing about you telling Jungkook not to fight that match, she still knew nothing about all the shit Taehyung and Jungkook were into. But she did know that you and Jungkook had “sorted everything out”.

“You’re skipping the party?”

“Yeah, you’re not?” now it was her who frowned. “It’s a pretty special night for Jungkook.”

“I promised myself I would never go to another wrestling match and I’ll keep it,” you said, nodding with your head. “Jungkook knows I’m not going.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? We can still go to the party when the match ends.”

You shook your head. “I’m sure,” you smiled. “Just… If you see him, tell me I wish him the best of lucks.”

“Alright,” she shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll se him tonight anyways,” she wiggled her brows. “If he loses you can always comfort him, and if he wins, you can always celebrate with him… You know.”

“You can be sure of that,” you playfully said.

“Oh whoa! Y/N admitting she’s going to have sex with Jungkook… We’re witnessing the rise of a new era, everyone.”

“Things change, people evolve…” you laughed.

She laughed with you and hugged you. You held her tightly to you.

“We’ve done it, Evey,” you whispered.

“Yeah, against all odds, we’re fucking nurses.”

When you broke the hug, the both of you had tears in your eyes.

“We’re fucking weepy nurses,” you added.

“I don’t know what the future will bring to some crybabies like us,” she laughed.

“I don’t know either, Evey, but I know we will be happy as heck.”

“Yeah!”

“Just… Don’t marry Taehyung too son, will you? I mean, wait for a couple of years or something…”

She punched you in the arm.

“I love you,” she said, hugging you once again.

You smiled, hands caressing her back.

“I love you.”

You don’t know how much time you were there, hugging each other, you just know that every single memory you had with her flashed before you in that moment.

You patted her ass, breaking the hug.

“Go before you ruin my eyeliner, I spent an hour doing it,” you said.

“It’s already ruined,” she said, sticking out her tongue to you.

You brought your fingers to your eyes.

“Just joking!” she laughed, making you glare at her.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t disappear right now!”

“Alright! Alright!” he laughed, starting to walk away from you, towards the exit of your campus. “Let’s meet tomorrow for coffee!”

“I hate coffee!”

“I know!”

She waved at you and you remember her smiling face, and how pretty she looked in her flowy baby yellow dress as you watched her disappear.

. . .

You couldn’t keep your eyes away from the main entrance of the bar you and your classmates had rented for the party.

You had texted him the address an hour ago, but he hadn’t even seen it. You just hoped he hadn’t seen it because he was busy watching some TV, not because he was on top of a ring punching another boy.

“Here you have!” Mara cheerfully said, already drunk as heck. “Cheer up, girl! I know adult life sucks, but don’t let it get the best of you!”

You smiled softly, grabbing the drink she was offering you and thanking her.

You knew it was a special night, your graduation party, but you couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t Jungkook in that moment. Had Evey told him you wished him good luck? Was Evey seeing how he punched Jiwon over and over? Or was it the other way around? Jiwon punching Jungkook again and again?

Images of blood running down Jungkook’s nose filled your mind, his broken lip and bruised cheeks. You just couldn’t stand it.

Taking a long sip from the drink Mara had given you – and that you didn’t even know what the fuck it was made of – you finished the whole beverage, grimacing at the bitter liquid running down your throat.

You were sitting on a chair placed by the wall, not too far from the dace floor, where your friends where laughing and dancing, all drunk and happy. You envied them, you wished you could feel as lightheaded as they did in that moment, no other concern than having fun.

The lilac blazer rested on the back of your chair, and a bitter expression adorned your face. You knew you must be looking like the life of the party in that moment.

Leg bouncing up and down to the rhythm of the sound that was playing, your eyes travelled to the main entrance once again.

Nothing.

You could just go to the dorm and wait there, because you were going crazy.

After standing from your chair, you waved at your friends.

Mara frowned and approached you.

“Are you going already?!” she said, raising her voice so you could hear her above the loud music.

“Yeah, I’m a bit tired and these fucking heels are killing me.”

“Oh, what a shame,” Alfredo pouted, another one of your friends. “There was a really cute boy asking for you just a couple of minutes ago.”

You frowned. “Who?”

“Dunno, his face looked familiar but I don’t know where I’ve seen him before.”

“Where was he?” you asked, voice high-pitched.

You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but…

“Near the bathrooms, two minutes ago.”

“Alright, thanks!” you said, leaving your empty glass with them and making your way around the crowd so you could get to the bathrooms.

There was a small staircase leading down to them, and, as you stood before it about to start climbing it down, your eyes met a pair of black ones.

A pair of eyes you knew too well.

“You came,” you breathed, frozen in place.

“Yeah, but I was starting to think you hadn’t.”

You eyed him up and down. Jungkook was looking beautiful dressed in a black suit, white t-shirt with its first buttons undone. Classic yet breathtaking. His wavy, long hair fell on top of his forehead beautifully, parted a bit on the middle to allow him to see what was in front of him.

“How couldn’t I?” you laughed. “This is my graduation party.”

It wasn’t until you felt something warm rolling down your cheek that you noticed you were starting to cry. You brought one hand up to wipe the tears away.

“Hey,” he whispered, climbing up the final stairs and approaching you until his arms were around you.

He let your hand fall to your side and started wiping your tears away himself.

“Why are you crying?”

His voice was so soft and melodious that you couldn’t help but cry even more. It was the first time you were letting yourself fully cry in front of him, and you were just as confused as he was.

“I-I…” you stuttered. “I don’t know, I just can’t believe you’re here, I was so worried…”

He smiled softly.

“Well, I’m here,” he said, his thumbs caressing the skin underneath your eyes. “And stop crying, or you’ll ruin your makeup.”

You didn’t give a single fuck about your makeup, to be honest.

“Fuck my makeup,” you scoffed, grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him against you, caging him in between your arms.

For once, you could finally breathe.

Did all that mean that he hadn’t fought? He surely didn’t look like it… Did it mean that…?

You broke the hug and grabbed both of his cheeks with your hands.

“Are you alright? You don’t have any wounds or –“

“I didn’t fight, didn’t even show up,” he said, interrupting your.

His words only made more tears appear in your eyes.

“Agh,” he protested. “Stop crying or this will look like a funeral instead of a graduation party.”

“They’re happy tears.”

“I don’t like seeing you cry,” he softly whispered, fingers wiping away the tears once again. “Don’t care if they’re happy tears or not. It breaks my heart.”

“Who is the sappy one right now?”

You teased him, sniffling as he finished cleaning your face from any tears that remained.

“I’m so happy you’re here right now.”

“I’m so happy I’m here with you right now,” he smiled. “I would have died if I hadn’t seen you dressed in this suit, you look so sexy I don’t even want to be here right now.”

You bit your lower lip.

“Can this stop? We look like one of those cheesy, romantic couples.”

“Ew, no,” he grimaced, taking a step back.

You laughed. You thought your heart was going to explode at any moment from how happy you were. He had listened to you, he hadn’t gone to the fight, he hadn’t fought against Jiwon. He had chosen you, his mother, a normal life, over all the violence and pain and danger.

You were whipped.

“Let’s dance,” you suggested, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

“Thought you didn’t dance,” he said from behind you.

“Once a year can hurt nobody!”

He laughed as you stopped walking and turned around to face him. People surrounded you, but it was as if you were the only ones inside the bar.

“Tell me, Jungkook,” you said, smirk on your face. “Did you buy that suit just for my graduation party?”

He smirked back.

“Maybe.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Maybe? I can already picture you going shopping, thinking about what suit should you buy for a graduation party. Would it be too inappropriate to attend in your usual black jeans and oversized t-shirts?”

He grabbed your lower back with one hand and pressed you against his.

“What does it matter? You’re going to take it all off by the end of the night,” he whispered in your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

You liked how that sounded. You were just about to tell him that, when the DJ spoke.

“Ladies and gentlemen! You better grab a partner because, what would a graduation party be without some slow dance!”

“Fuck,” the both of you mumbled at the same time.

You laughed loudly as you saw the fear in each other’s eyes. You hated dancing, even more, slow dancing.

Jungkook shrugged and offered you his hand.

“Once a year can hurt nobody, can’t it?”

You smiled and grabbed his hand confidently. The notes of a guitar started sounding and everyone around you stopped jumping and screaming and grabbed a partner.

“I hate this,” you growled, looking all around you.

“Me too,” Jungkook whispered in your ear. “But if we don’t do this I’m afraid we’ll catch their attention and they’ll kick us out of here.”

“Fuck, without even grabbing a couple drinks first?” you hasped, eyes wide as you leaned back to stare at him.

He nodded solemnly. “Without even grabbing a drink first.”

“We need to dance, then,” you said. “To convince them we’re one of them. That we’re romantic and cheesy.”

“We must dance.”

You smiled and placed your hands around his neck, arms resting on his shoulders as his hands found your lower back.

“I’ve never done this, so sorry if I step on you with my heels or something.”

“If you step on my feet with those killing heels I will have to go on a wheelchair for the rest of my life.”

You chuckled, muffling your sounds with the palm of your hand.

“Shh,” Jungkook shushed you. “If you laugh, they will see us! You have to act serious and in love.”

“What?” you scoffed.

“Serious and in love, remember,” he said, straightening his back.

You chuckled some more and then, closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Your fingers intertwined behind his neck, fingers grazing the strands of his dark hair.

When you opened your eyes again, you found those black, round eyes that somehow looked like the eyes of a cute anime character. Under the shitty lights of the bar, they were glimmering.

Suddenly you were really nervous and trembly, but you couldn’t avert your eyes away from his, as if he had some sort of magnetic pull towards you.

The only things you remember in that moment are the beautiful music and his dark eyes, as infinite as the night sky above you.

He pressed you a bit tighter against him, feeling each other breaths every time you exhaled.

From up close, you could really see him and admire him, and feel the luckiest person on Earth because, somehow, your path had crossed Jungkook’s in this infinite road that life is.

You weren’t nervous anymore, nor worried, you were just in love. Just like him. Two young people in love, dancing to a slow song in the middle of a crowded dance floor. Maybe there were other couples in love on the dance floor in that moment, but none of them shone like the two of you did, no one looked at each other like you did.

One of your foot accidentally stepped on one of his, and your eyes widened.

“Ups, sorry,” you said.

“Ouch,” he laughed, acting as if it hurt him more than it did. “Someone bring the wheelchair!”

Some people around you stared at him, scowl in their faces as he had interrupted their romantic moments.

You laughed and hid your face in the crook of his neck, resting your head on his shoulders.

As you closed your eyes, it finally felt like home. With his scent surrounding you, his body moving with yours as the music guided him, his hands holding you. You could spend the rest of your life like that.

Just the two of you, holding each other, loving each other.

It was funny, how at the beginning you had hated each other so much and had been sure you wouldn’t even touch him with a stick, and now there you were, wishing he would touch the entirety of your skin and that you would touch the entirety of his. Your paths had crossed, looking like it was another crash in the passing of time, but then, they had become parallel lines that walked together. Life really was capricious.

When the slow music turned into disco music, you grabbed some drinks and kept dancing like nothing had happened. Like you hadn’t been dancing like two birds in love just seconds before. You joked around and ended with your heels in Jungkook’s hands as you jumped to the music.

He had carried you home on his back, the bar not too far from your door building. Your arms around your neck as you talked non-stop – blame it on the alcohol and your sore feet.

You still talked and laughed as he threw you one your bed and made love to you. That slow song was still playing inside your mind as he peppered kisses all over your naked body. You hummed the song as your fingers traced his skin just like the musician’s fingers had caressed the strings of his guitar as he sang the song. Jungkook had never felt so loved and full before.

The sex was a bit messy – since the both of you were in a state between drunk and ecstatic – clashing of teeth, bangs against the wall, you nearly ripping Jungkook’s shirt open, him tripping as he got out of his boxers and nearly falling on top of your desk… But it was the pure definition of the both of you, messy yet loving, passionate and young. Infinite as much as it was brief.

. . .

A deaf noise jolted you awake.

You were a bit disoriented as you sat on your bed, brushing the fallen strands of your hair away from your face. Rubbing your eyes as you opened them, you tried to understand what was going on and what had woken you up.

Your room was still dark, but you had let your blinds rolled up so the moonlight seeped in.

When your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you finally could make out what was going on.

Besides you, the bed was empty, the sheets unmade as if Jungkook had woken up in a haste.

“Just calm down and tell me what’s going on,” you heard the deep voice of Jungkook.

He was sitting on the floor, by the bed, back resting on its side as he held his phone to his ear.

You frowned a bit, who would call at 3 am?

“Joon, please, calm down, you’re freaking me out.”

You kneeled on the bed and crawled towards its side until you were behind Jungkook. He softly moved his head to the side, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Tell me,” he sighed. “No, I’m with Y/N.”

A long pause followed his words, and suddenly, a thick silence filled the room.

A cry escaped Jungkook’s throat. It was so low you weren’t even sure if you had imagined it.

“W-what?” he gasped.

Confused, you sat on the floor by his side. His face was like nothing you had ever seen, contorted in pure pain and agony.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, this can’t be…” he hid his face in between his bent knees, his free hand pulling harshly from his hair. “This can’t be happening.”

“Jungkook…” you whispered, caressing his shoulder trying to comfort him.

“FUCK!” he screamed, startling you and making you pull your hand away from him.

He stood up, pacing around the room frantically. You stared at him, worry starting to seep through every limb, bone and organ.

“FUCK!” Jungkook kept screaming, sometimes sobbing in between screams.

Jungkook was crying.

“This can’t be happening, Joon,” he sniffled. “This can’t… Fucking hell! Fuck! FUCK!”

You stood up, but didn’t dare touch him in case you startled him or something.

“W-what happened?” he kept saying, tears rolling down his cheeks. “W-who did it… How?”

A long pause followed his words. You blinked a few times, heart aching for him, despite not knowing what exactly had happened. You just knew, that it had to be something really bad, for the way Jungkook was breaking in front of you.

“Where are you? No, Namjoon, I’m going. If you think I’ll stay here as if nothing hap – Can you let me speak?! I’m not going to stay here! Send me your location and I’ll go.”

You approached him. He had his forehead pressed against the wall, body completely rigid.

“I don’t fucking care what you all say or what’s best, I already let him down, I won’t let him down twice,” he growled. “Sent me the location.”

With that, he hung up.

He started shaking, and you, afraid that he was crying again, approached him. But once you did, you stopped yourself from touching him.

He wasn’t trembling because of the cries, he wasn’t even crying anymore, he was trembling in pure anger, fists clenched and eyes closed.

“J-Jungkook,” you stuttered. You hated the tremble in your voice, and you hated yourself for being scared of him in that moment, but that was exactly what you were, scared to the bone.

You had never seen him so angry yet so calm, not even during the fights.

“Jungkook, what’s wrong?”

You decided to fight against yourself and placed another comforting hand on his shoulder.

As soon as you touched him, he flinched away from you, opening his eyes and walking away from the wall as he breathed heavily.

“Jungkook…” you whispered. His eyes were red and puffy from his previous outburst, and he had his jaw clenched. “What is it?”

“Taehyung and Evey are dead,” he spat the words so suddenly, that it felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown all over your body.

“W-what?” you stuttered, barely being able to form any word.

“Fuck, Taehyung and Evey are dead!” he screamed, making you flinch and cover your eyes.

No. It couldn’t be real. You must be dreaming, sleeping soundlessly by Jungkook’s side on your bed. In a couple of hours, when the sun was high up in the sky, Evey would text you and you would both go to your favorite café to order a coffee and some green tea.

It couldn’t be real.

Jungkook started pacing around the room once again, pulling from his hair, growling and crying all over again.

“No…” you were mumbling. “What?”

You were even gasping for air, like a fish out of water.

“They attended the match… You were right, it was a trap,” Jungkook mumbled. “They did it… Mr. Kang and fucking Jiwon, they did it! They killed my brother!”

You cried and pressed your hands further against your ears, refusing to hear him, refusing to acknowledge what was happening.

“No… Evey.”

“They all waited for me to appear for two hours, and when I didn’t, the match was called off and they all went home. Taehyung, Evey and the boys stayed there, trying to reach out to me, but to no avail, so they ended up leaving. Mr. Kang men followed Tae and Evey down to Taehyung’s apartment and caught them in there… Namjoon and Hoseok found them an hour ago because Tae wasn’t answering the phone.”

A shiver run down your spine. Flashes of Taehyung and Evey laughing together in Tae’s apartment, you telling them they were gross as they kissed and showed their love to everyone. Flashes of them on the sofa, Evey on top of him as he grabbed her hips with his large hands, eyes always shiny as long as they were looking at her. Flashes of them on the floor, blood spilling from their bodies and accumulating on the floor as their eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. One next to the other.

You gasped for air. You didn’t know when you had stopped breathing, but suddenly you had felt your lungs closing and your throat constricting.

You put a hand on the wall, stopping you from falling to the floor.

“Evey… Tae…” was all you could mumble.

When you lifted your eyes from the floor, you saw Jungkook putting his clothes back on, not even bothering to grab his blazer.

“W-where are y-you going?” you stuttered.

“I’m going to get those fucking bastards and make them pay for what they did.”

“No!” you said, throwing yourself at him. “No, please Jungkook, don’t do that.”

“Get off me!” he growled, pulling your arms away from him.

“Please, please,” you kept pleading, following him towards the door. “Don’t go there.”

“I listened to you before, I didn’t attend the match… And look where Taehyung and Evey are now! It should have been me the one who died tonight, not them.”

The mere thought of Jungkook dying made you want to throw up.

“Don’t go, please,” you kneeled on the floor, hugging one of his legs. “Don’t leave me. I can’t lose you too.”

“Let go of me, this is what I have to do.”

“Please.”

With a harsh pull, he pulled his leg out of your embrace.

“I have to do this,” he said, hand grabbing the doorknob. “I have to do what’s right. This is right.”

“They’re already gone, Jungkook, getting yourself killed won’t bring them back.”

“I don’t fucking care, my brother is dead Y/N, it’s as if I was dead too.”

“Don’t say that, don’t go,” you kept pleading. “Stay with me.”

“I can’t stay. Don’t come after me, please, stay here, it’s the only thing I’ll ask of you.”

“J-Jungkook,” you stuttered, blinking your eyes as the light of the corridor appeared and disappeared in mere seconds.

In the blink of an eye.

You stayed there, in the darkness of your room, kneeling naked on the old carpet. You were quiet, eyes glued to the closed door.

Darkness filled you, darkness surrounded you… And you wondered how things could change so quickly, when you had been feeling so full and giddy just hours ago.

Finally, you let out a sob, and then other, and the next second, you were crying on the floor, face hidden behind your hands.

He had left you with the same words that once made you wanted to leave. I can’t. I can’t love you. I can’t stay.

Both times you had pleaded him, to love you, to stay, and both of them, he had told you he couldn’t. What was it about the two of you that you wanted but couldn’t? Was it that you weren’t made for each other? He wanted to love you, but he couldn’t. He wanted to stay, but he couldn’t. You both wanted to be together, but you couldn’t, and each time you tried to go against those words, life proved you wrong and them right.

You feared your thoughts were true, you feared you couldn’t be with Jungkook. You feared there would be a time when he wouldn’t be part of your life anymore, a mere memory.

Flashes of Evey filled your mind.

Her with her radiant smile and comforting words, with those horrendous dramas she liked to watch, with her hot temper and big heart. Her, with her bag always full of extra pens she could borrow to you. Her, with her open arms and warm hugs. Her, with her head full of dreams and full of Taehyung. Her, in her flowy baby yellow dress in your graduation party.

“Yeah, against all odds, we’re fucking nurses,” she had murmured in your ear, radiant as ever.

She had always wanted to be a nurse, and she had told you multiple times how hard she had worked for it. She wanted to work at some hospital for some years before going to some country where aid was needed, she wanted to help those who needed it the most.

And now, she was gone, and the only thing that remained of her was the memory of her, in her flowy baby yellow dress walking away from you.

With thoughts of Evey, another thought appeared inside your mind. What if it was the last time you saw Jungkook too? What if you never got to see his beautiful face once again, or be gifted with one of his radiant smiles? What if you never got to hug him, touch him, smell him, kiss him again? What if you never got to tell him how much you loved him, and how proud you were of him?

The mere thought of that, sent bile to your mouth.

You stood up from the floor and grabbed your phone. You called the boys, one by one, but none of them answered.

You had some text messages from your family, telling you how proud they were of you and how much they loved you. But in that moment, it didn’t matter.

You opened Evey’s contact. She was offline.

You saw her profile picture. She was smiling, sitting on Taehyung’s lap. The both of them were laughing at something, his hands on her hips, her hands on top of his. You had been the one taking the picture months ago.

Rubbing your nose, you put on some clothes and sat on the bed, not knowing what to do.

Should you call Jungkook? Should you call… Who? Your family could do nothing but worry about you, you didn’t want to involve the police in case things got worse… You couldn’t do anything but sit there and wait. Wait, for Jungkook to arrive or for him to never come back, you never knew.

Tears dried on your skin and your head hurt so much you thought it was going to explode at any moment. Your lips were swollen, and your eyelids too, so much that it was almost difficult for you to keep your eyes open.

You don’t know how much time went by, you just remember staring at the window and seeing the colors in the sky slowly change, from a dark blue that looked almost black, to a beautiful cyan, to soft lilac hues with pink undertones.

Birds starting to sing and the city started to wake up.

And you were still waiting.

Your eyes had closed from tiresome and you had fallen back on the bed when you heard a knock on the door.

Immediately, you jumped on your feet and rushed to the door. Jungkook. Was it him?

Without even thinking twice, you opened the door, out of breath.

A dark shadow pushed you inside your room, grabbing you from the front of your t-shirt and slammed the door closed behind him.

“Hello, beautiful,” Jiwon smiled at you.

Your eyes widened in recognition, his face hidden beneath the shadows of his hoodie, but still, you could see a trail of blood dripping from his left eyebrow.

You opened your mouth to scream for help, but a gloved hand covered your mouth and no sound came from it.

With his other hand, he held the back of your head and pressed tightly.

“Hmpf,” you were protesting, trying to bite the skin of his hand but teeth only finding the leather material of the gloves.

“Shh, you don’t want t hurt me, don’t you? I thought we were friends.”

You couldn’t even think about defending yourself, it had all happened so quickly and you were so tired and drained… You were a limp puppet in his hands.

“Aren’t you going to delight me with your self-defense knowledge? What a disappointment… After all my brother told me I thought today would be fun,” he said, smirking wickedly as he slammed you against the wall.

His hand, still placed on the back of your head, absorbed the strength of the impact, but your back wasn’t protected by anything and you felt a sharp pain.

“Ah, did I hurt you?” he said. “Sorry.”

You had never seen that side of Jiwon. He looked just like his brother, a wicked version of him. His eyes looked shinier, almost as if he was crazy.

“I guess you’ll have to get used to it.”

His hands travelled once again to the front of your shirt and, before you could say anything, he was throwing you across the room, body falling against your desk with a loud boom. You gasped when you felt the edge of your desk hit your back, body falling onto the floor with another loud noise.

You tried to move away from him, crawling like a snake towards the door. Before you could move more than a couple of centimeters, he placed the thick sole of his booth on your lower back and forced you to stay still.

“Agh!” you protested.

He sat himself on your lower back in a swift motion and placed his hands on your mouth once again, in case you asked for help.

“See, as I don’t want to be worried about you being too loud, I’ll apply an easy solution.”

You heard him move, one of his hands retreating from your mouth. Some seconds passed and then, his hand was back on your mouth, this time shoving something inside. It was something that felt like a cloth, so big that you thought your jaw would dislocate. A metallic taste filled your mouth.

“Sorry it’s a bit dirty… I didn’t have time to wash it after going to your friend’s apartment…”

Your eyes opened wide in recognition and a wave of nausea hit you, gagging multiple times.

“Don’t worry, it didn’t touch them with it, I just used it to clean my hands from their blood.”

You gagged once again, tears filling your eyes. You felt as if you were going to throw up right there and you would choke on your own vomit, so you tried to calm yourself. Cold mind, cold mind Y/N, think please.

He grabbed your hands and held them behind your back with one of his, the other grabbing your hair forcefully and forcing you to lift your head from the floor.

“Oh, no, Y/N, why are you crying? Am I hurting you? No… I didn’t want this to happen, I swear, but each time you disappeared, you appeared back again like the little whore you are. You wanted to make Jungkook jealous with me, huh? Well, I must thank you for the act, you were truly helpful to me.”

He chuckled, the sound was a vicious noise to your ears.

“You brought me closer to him and made him weaker… Women always make men weaker for them, always find their easy spots. Pff,” he scoffed.

Suddenly, he slammed your head against the floor. You felt your whole head reverberating, the pain mixing with the headache being almost unbearable.

“My brother told you to tell Jungkook to show up at the match… He didn’t,” he slammed your head on the floor again, your vision becoming blurry.

When he felt your body relaxing underneath his, he let go of your wrists and stood up.

The back of his boot slammed against your side, a sharp pain echoing through your whole body. Black dots appeared in your line of vision, and the only thing you could see was the dusty floor beneath your bed and a pair of socks that you had left forgotten there.

You followed his movements with the corner of your eyes.

He began pacing around your room, looking at the decorations on the wall. He was so sure you were done, that he wasn’t even sparing you a glance.

You tried to move, but your limbs weren’t responding you. You clenched your teeth in frustration.

“I’m curious… Was he even going to show up? I didn’t know he was such a coward,” he waited for you to answer, but when he remembered you couldn’t, he cracked up. “How silly I am! You can’t talk!”

You growled when he looked at you, but he just shrugged and focused his eyes on the wall in front of your bed. There were polaroids of you and Evey all over the place.

The mere thought of him staring at her pictures just after what he had done to her…

“It’s such a shame, you know?” he began saying.

He was so absorbed in his own little word and full of arrogance, that was facing his back to you as he looked at the pictures without even worrying about him.

Well, you have underestimated me once again.

Closing your eyes tightly, you thought of Evey. Of her beautiful baby yellow dress stained with a deep crimson red right now. Of her body lying on Taehyung’s carpeted floor. You thought of her blood pooling beneath her body, staining too, the purple carpet. You thought of Jiwon standing before her, wiping his blood-covered hands in the cloth you now had in your mouth.

With all the strength that was still left in your body, you placed your hands on the floor and flexed your elbows. The cloth muffled your cries of pain, your side really hurt.

“That two young girls like you, with all their lives ahead of them, so pretty and full of future… Had to get involved with two guys like them and fuck everything up. Taehyung got Evey killed… And now Jungkook will get you killed too…”

You felt dizzy once you were crouched on the floor, but you knew there was no time to waste.

Supporting your body on the desk behind you, you grabbed the desk lamp that was in there with your other hand. A metallic old piece of shit you had protested a lot about, but that now, would come in handy to you.

With a strong pull from it, you unplugged it from the wall and held it in the air, above Jiwon’s head.

He didn’t have enough time to react only turning around, and before he could do anything, the lamp crashed with force against the side of his head. You heard a deafening sound and then, his body was falling backwards onto your bed.

Letting the lamp fall to the floor, you quickly shoved the cloth out of your mouth, nearly throwing up in the process.

Your body fell to the floor, resting on your hands and knees as you spat all your friend’s blood.

Your whole body was trembling, aching, and you were starting to black out from those sharp bangs your head had received.

You could hear Jiwon crying in pain and you were trying to stand back on your feet so you could rush to the corridor and ask for help, but you had spent all your energies in grabbing the lamp and smashing it against Jiwon’s head.

You felt him move, and wanted to move too, but you couldn’t.

Before you could even cry, he grabbed you by the hair and slammed your head backwards against the table. You felt cold spreading from where the table had hit you, to the rest of your head and neck.

Your back rested on the stack of drawers that formed party of your desk. You were gasping for air as you saw Jiwon crouching before you. You wanted to scream, now with your mouth free of the cloth. But still, you couldn’t say a word.

Your head fell limply to the side, and you felt Jiwon’s hand grabbing your chin and forcing your head to stay upright.

“You think you’re more intelligent than me, huh? That you will get out of this, huh?”

Blood was dripping from his forehead, and his grip wasn’t as tighter as he was before.

His hands travelled towards your neck.

“That first night I met you, of course I knew who you were… Word spreads fast,” his hands were barely caressing you, knowing you couldn’t make anything to pull them away from you. “I truly couldn’t understand why Jungkook had set his eyes on you, you looked so dull and ordinary… You would have never caught his eye. But then, you told me you were dressing as Hellboy, not Hellgirl, and when we spoke you had guts, sarcasm and were wity… Then, I knew why he had set his eyes on you,” he smirked, his hands tightened around your neck.

“The fact that you kept coming back to me each time was almost comical, you made me think you were another one of Jungkook’s hook ups, you know? Your attitude and that pettiness had made him want you, but once he had had you, I thought he would let you go. And surprisingly! He fell for you!” he started laughing, as if he had just made one of the funniest jokes he had ever heard. “Not even my brother believed me when I told him Jeon was in love with you! He didn’t believe me until he didn’t show up tonight.”

You started to feel your feet getting cold and numb. You wanted to lift your hands and reach for him, but you couldn’t.

You gasped for air.

“I must admit you’re pretty tough… What a waste of – ”

You knew he kept talking, but you couldn’t hear him. Just a buzzing sound and your head suddenly was too heavy for you to bear it.

The black dots appeared once again, and you fought to keep your eyes open. Your lids felt so heavy…

His lips kept moving, his hands couldn’t press tighter against your neck because he, himself, was fighting against his own body too. You could see it in the way his head swung sometimes.

You blinked. Saw the door to your room opening. Light seeping inside of it. A body entered the room. You blinked. Jiwon’s hands disappeared from around your neck, and your body fell limply against the floor, your head falling on top of one of your arms and amortizing the fall. You blinked. You could see a set of black shoes, covered in dots of crimson red. They looked familiar to you but you couldn’t remember where you had seen them. You blinked. Jiwon’s boots appeared right in front of the pair of shoes. You blinked, lids getting heavier and heavier. After a few seconds, Jiwon’s body fell limply to the floor, right next to yours. You blinked. You could see Jiwon’s face. His eyes stared blankly and lifelessly at you. You blinked.

Someone lifted your upper body from the floor, your head spinning from the movement.

You could feel your body shaking, or was that someone who had lifted you from the floor the one shaking you? You tried to focus your eyes but you couldn’t, everything was happening so slowly…

“… Y/N…” you somehow heard your name, but it sounded so distant… Almost as if you were under water. “Y/N… Please baby, stay with me…”

You tried to blink once again, but this time, your eyelids didn’t answer to you.

“… I can’t lose you too… Stay with me… I won’t be able to bear it…”

And then, everything went black and peaceful, frighteningly peaceful.

. . .

It was as if you had been asleep for a long time, except for the fact that your whole body ached and you didn’t feel rested at all.

The first thing you noticed was a familiar scent.

Something that smelled like antiseptic and cleaning products, like the alcohol you use to wash your hands.

It was something you had become familiar with.

Hospitals.

You made a great effort in opening your eyes, your vision blurry and cross-eyed.

The noises around you were familiar too. Beeps of the ECG and scratches of the small wheels of the medication carts against the floor.

You were in a hospital.

Finally, you snapped your eyes open, staring all around you, a bit disoriented.

“Oh my god, sweetheart,” you heard a soft voice say from behind you. “You’re awake.”

You focused your eyes on the direction of the voice, finding the face of your mother. She had a frown on her face, but looked somehow relieved. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her hair was disheveled and all over the place.

“Love,” she whispered, sitting on the armchair by your bed and placing a hand on your cheek. “You’re here with me…”

You frowned and closed your eyes for a moment, taking your time. Your body hurt, your head hurt, everything hurt, but there was a pain that outstood the rest, and it wasn’t physical. Your heart ached, it made you want to rip every single venous line you had in your body and scream at the top of your lungs.

Flashes of a yellow dress fill your mind, and then, images of blood and bodies lying on the floor.

“Evey…” you whispered.

Your mother brought a hand to her mouth.

“Oh, sweetheart… You know about Evey?” she asked you. You nodded softly. “I’m so sorry… What happened to her… We’re all heartbroken. For a moment I thought you’d have the same fate as her...”

You opened your eyes, your vision was blurry from the tears.

“You know what happened to her?” you asked. Your mouth felt dry and it was difficult for you to speak.

She nodded. “It’s horrible what happened to her and her… Boyfriend. Their parents didn’t even know she was dating someone. Apparently, the boy was involved with bad people and… Got Evey involved too.”

You looked away. It hurt to hear your mother talk about Taehyung like that. It hurt to think that Evey’s family were probably hating him now, blaming him for Evey’s death… But wasn’t him the one at fault for Evey’s death?

You clenched your fists in anger.

“Did you know she was dating that boy? That he was… Dangerous?”

Yeah, you had, and despite all the conversations with Evey, all the fights telling her he wasn’t good for her… You had caved in along with her and all of them. If you had been a better friend, if you had insisted more… If you hadn’t gotten involved too, maybe you wouldn’t be in that hospital room with your mother looking like she had spent a whole week crying. Maybe Evey wouldn’t be dead.

It was not Taehyung’s fault, he just loved Evey so much. You remember the pure fear in his eyes that night he told you about his and Jungkook’s business. How he had pleaded you to keep Evey out of all that. He just loved her and she just loved him. It wasn’t their fault.

But you should have been the rational one, convinced Evey that the boy wasn’t good for her and that the best she could do was ignore her feelings. And you had been… Until you followed her steps.

“No…” you breathed. It felt like you were betraying Taehyung a little, letting him be the bad one. “I didn’t know she had a boyfriend either.”

You looked back at your mother and she looked angry as she grabbed your hands with more strength, as if she was afraid you would just disappear.

“You have to be careful with who you get involved with, look what happened to Evey, look what happened to you,” she said.

“What happened to… Me?”

She caressed your knuckles “Those delinquents who… Did that to Evey, came looking for you thinking you would have some sort of information. They not only nearly killed you, but they killed a poor boy who came to defend you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Jungkook.

“A… A p-poor boy who came to defend me?” you gasped, you felt as if you were out of breath.

“His name was Kim Jiwon,” your mother nodded, closing her eyes as if feeling the pain. “He had been missing since he was ten, his older brother taking him away from his family. They came from a wealthy family, but apparently, the older brother was involved in some dark business and their parents kicked him out. He brought poor Kim Jiwon with him.”

Jiwon was dead… And they thought he was the good one?

You wanted to speak but bit your tongue. You didn’t know where Jungkook was or if he was safe, you didn’t want to risk his safety by asking about him.

Nothing in your mother’s testimony made sense, the reality you knew was another. Of course it could be true that Jiwon and his brother came from a wealthy family… But the fact that he was a good boy and that had come to your rescue? No. Maybe that was police wanted to make everyone believe so things wouldn’t get any more complicated.

“Those… Assholes, nearly took you away from me,” your mother said after a few seconds, snapping you back to reality. She threw herself at you on the bed, accidentally hitting your side and making you almost see black from the pain. You didn’t say a thing though, she had been worried enough about you. “I thought I was going to lose you. The doctors said you needed time to recover from the hits to your head and kept you sedated, they told me you would eventually wake up but that they didn’t new if there would be any consequences left…”

“How much time have I been… Here?”

“A week.”

Your eyes widened. “Grandad, grandma? Auntie?”

“They’re all home. Police called us just when we were about to return home. I bought them train tickets and told them that I would take care of you. I didn’t tell them how bad the wounds were, didn’t want to worry them too much… You already know your grandmother… But they asked me that you called them when you were feeling better, no pressure, you need to rest first and then we can call whoever you want.”

You nodded with your head. You wanted to talk about Jungkook. Where he was, if he was safe, if he was still alive…

You remember that voice before blacking out, it was his.

“Who found me?”

“Police did, a boy called them.”

“And they only found me in my room?”

Your mother frowned.

“I mean, was I alone in my room when they found me?”

“Well, yeah,” she blinked. “Except for that other boy. Poor soul… Did you know him?”

“Hmm…” you didn’t want them all to think Jiwon was a ‘poor soul’ and that he was the victim of it all. “I had seen him around before, he was always into shady things…”

“But police told us –“

“Police didn’t know him,” you cut her. “He was just as bad as the boys who did this.”

Your mother stayed silent.

“I’m so happy you’re back sweetheart,” she placed a kiss on your forehead. “But you should rest a bit now, you have two broken ribs and a strong head contusion.”

Ah, so that’s why your side hurt so much… It seemed like a miracle to still be alive after all the blows you had received.

“Alright,” you nodded with your head.

“I’ll call the doctor, tell her you’re awake.”

You nodded again.

She stayed all night with you. You watched her sleeping form on the armchair by your bed, you were so sorry for all the pain you must have caused her. You wondered if she had ever left your side once in the entire week you had been there.

You wanted to sleep, you felt so tired and drained, but you couldn’t. Your mind was full of thoughts of Jungkook. Your heart ached at the mere thought of something bad happening to him. He had clearly killed Jiwon… Fuck, he had killed someone, didn’t matter if that someone was Jiwon… He had his hands covered with his blood.

Just a week before you were running away from your graduating party with him, holding hands and laughing at everything that waited for the two of you. Now, you weren’t sure if there was even a ‘the two of you’.

It took you thirty minutes to convince your mother of the fact that, if she went to the cafeteria to have for once a decent breakfast and take a walk to clear her mind, you wouldn’t die.

She left after a thousand ‘are you sure?’, ‘keep your phone in the bedside table’, ‘if something happens call me and if you start feeling bad, call the nurses’.

When she left you alone, you sighed.

It was a lot to take in, and everything you thought about it, your head hurt.

You took the painkillers that the nurse had left on the bedside table for you. Now that you were awake, you didn’t need the saline solutions anymore, nor did you need to take all the meds via iv.

What if you called the boys? Would they tell you where Jungkook was, if he was fine? What if you called Jungkook?

You were there, your phone in your hands, when the door of your room opened.

Thinking it was a nurse, or your mother, repeating you if you were sure for the umpteenth time, you didn’t even spare a glance to the door. But you did once you saw the dark figure wasn’t moving.

Slowly, you lifted your gaze to the person who had entered the room, air disappearing from your lungs.

You didn’t even have time to say anything before he was running towards you and stretching you in his arms, face hidden in the crook of your neck. You could only lift your arms and encircle his torso with them.

You let out a long exhale of air. He was alive, he was there with you.

You started sobbing, ignoring the pain in your ribs and the pain inside your chest. He was there in your arms, and it was all that mattered to you.

“Y-you’re awake,” Jungkook breathed. “You’re alive.”

“You’re alive too, I-I thought I…”

He broke the hug and grabbed your face with both of his hands. You hadn’t seen him since he had entered the room, and you left a strangled gasp at the sight of his bruised face.

“Jungkook,” you said, hands coming up to caress his face. “Oh my God, what happened to you?”

Your eyes traveled across his face, hidden underneath the hood of his black sweatshirt. He had bruises all over his left cheek, covering the scar of the cut you had once sewed up. One of his eyes was swollen and covered in a yellowish tone, but from the look of it, it had been completely purple not to long ago. His once straight and round nose was curved on the bridge, an ugly cut on top of it. Your eyes ghosted over the scar.

“You didn’t go to the doctor? To anyone who could heal you?”

Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled it softly away from him, only to grab your face once again and press his lips against yours, and then against your forehead, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your chin, the corners of your lips.

“I thought I had lost you too…” he murmured in between kisses. Another kiss to your lips. “I thought you wouldn’t come back to me, I… I felt like dying when I entered your room and found Jiwon on top of you… I-I…” his voice broke and you looked up just in time to see two thick tears rolling down his cheeks.

You covered his hands with yours, cradling your cheeks.

“Seeing you looking so pale… And so still lying in my arms…” he closed his eyes. “It haunts me every night.”

“But now I’m here, Jungkook,” you whispered.

He leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“You’re here…” he breathed, repeating your words.

“And you’re here too…”

He pursed his lips and you pulled your face away from his hands, trying to get a better look of his face.

“You need to see a doctor,” worried was laced in your voice as your eyes, once again, trailed his features.

He lowered his head and distanced himself away from you, hands still intertwined with yours.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, you’re nose looks like it’s broken. What happened to you? Where did you go when you left my room?”

“I shouldn’t have left your room, if I hadn’t, maybe…” he stopped himself.

“Maybe…” you said, trying to make him continue.

You tried to sit yourself up on the bed, but the pain in your side stopped you from doing so. Hearing your strangled cry, Jungkook lifted his eyes from the sheets of your bed and placed a hand on your shoulder, forcing you to lay back on the bed, the back of your bed slightly up.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be here right now and I wouldn’t have to…” he averted his eyes once again, lost somewhere beyond the window of your room, staring at the grey clouds that covered the sky. It looked as if he was deep in thought. You opted for giving him some time.

He took a deep breath, his face turned blank and you wondered what he was thinking about.

“I don’t have much time –“

“Why?” you interrupted him.

“I don’t have much time, I just heard the doctors outside yesterday say that you were finally awake and I wanted to see you but your mother was in here and I couldn’t. Your mother or anyone else can’t see me here.”

“Why? Why can’t they see you?” you said, frowning.

His eyes went back to yours. They looked dark and you felt like you were falling into the void when you stared at them.

“I wanted to see you,” he ignored your question. “Wanted to see you one last time and make sure you would be alright. I couldn’t stand the idea of not knowing if you’d be okay.”

“What do you mean with all this, Jungkook? You’re confusing me,” you closed your eyes as a dull pain started to fill every part of your head. “What do you mean with wanting to see me one last time?”

When you opened your eyes once again you felt small under his stare, under his dark eyes that were looking so intensely at you. He bit his lower lip, frowned, as if he was debating against himself.

“I have to go, Y/N,” he breathed, his voice barely audible and nearly blending with the sounds of the iv machine.

“Now? My mother won’t be back until –“

“I have to go to another city,” he interrupted you.

“Alright,” you nodded. “When you’re back I’ll probably be out of the hospital so –“

“No,” he interrupted you again, shaking his head. “You’re not understanding me. I’m going to another city. Forever.”

You stood silent after his words, only staring at him and breathing. Your eyes started to sting from the tears you had shed before and because you weren’t even blinking.

“F-forever?”

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“B-but, if you wait for me I’ll be able to go with you when the doctors discharge me.”

He smiled softly and brought one of his hands to caress your cheek. His eyes turned soft and he was staring at you almost as if he was… Sad.

“I cannot wait for you and I cannot bring you with me, you must stay here.”

Your eyes filled with tears.

“Why? I want to be with you.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I want to be with you, Y/N, believe me, I want nothing more in this world than to be with you… But I –“

You shook your head and pushed his hand away from you, averting your eyes from his.

“Don’t say you can’t, don’t say that.”

“You know I want to be with you, that I’d love to spend the rest of my days hearing your laugh and seeing your smile. Teasing you and making you angry… But… But I can’t.”

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks. That was what you two were, wasn’t it? A constant I want but I can’t.

“Staying with you means putting you in danger… Again. It means forcing you to leave your life behind, your career, your family and everything you know and love.”

“I wouldn’t care if it all was for you.”

“But I would. I would care.”

“So what? After all we went through, you’re just going to disappear and leave me here?”

“Don’t say it as if I was abandoning you, please,” he said, lowering his voice and closing his eyes. You couldn’t imagine how much your words hurt his heart.

“And what are you doing, Jungkook? I want to be with you, there’s nothing else in this world that I want more. I lied for you, I hid the truth from my best friend for months, I put myself in danger for you… I’ve shown you how much I want to be with you. How much I love you… I don’t have a say in all this?”

Jungkook clenched his teeth. He wished those beautiful words had spilled from your lips in a different place, under different circumstances.

It wasn’t easy for him either. He wanted to be with you too. To see your pretty face every day when he woke up, see how you scrunched up your face when he pinched your nose to wake you up. To see your hair shining under the sunlight, contrasting with the white pillow. He wanted to eat pizza with you at night, to show you the world and hand it to you on the palm of his hand. He wanted to see you make your dreams come true and grow as a person. He wanted to make his dreams come true by your side and make you proud by growing as a person.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t do all that because he cared about you too much.

Because he knew what he had done and what would happen because of that. He knew he could never give you the life you wanted… The life you deserved. He couldn’t promise you a normal life with a normal future, normal holidays travelling and seeing the world, normal family with children and peace. He couldn’t, and that killed him.

Above everything he wanted… He wanted you to be safe, and that could only happen if he stayed away from you.

He shook his head, eyes still closed.

“No when your life is involved.”

“I’d rather live a short happy life, than live all my life regretting not spending it with you.”

He shook his head once again. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Of course I know what I’m saying! Do you think I’m someone who speaks without thinking first? I’ve lost too many things to lose another one, you can’t do this to me.”

“Believe me Y/N, this was not my plan, this was not what I wanted…” he stared at you. “I wanted to make things right for once, do what was correct. I wanted to leave the world of fights and drugs and violence and all that behind, leave Sungho and Mr. Kang and all their shit. I wanted to become someone you could be proud of. I wanted to become a better person for my mother. I didn’t want this.”

“Why is this happening, then? What went wrong? You seemed so happy last week.”

“I thought I had everything under control,” he said, shaking his head. “I thought that, if I went to the police and told them everything about Sungho and Mr. Kang, everything would be alright.”

“You listened to me?”

“At first I thought it was stupid… But then… I started to think that maybe it was the only way out… I just happen to forget that Mr. Kang has men everywhere.”

“They told him what you wanted to do?”

Jungkook sighed.

“The agreement was that I would give them all the information I had about Mr. Kang and Sungho’s business, enough to send them both to jail and their closest men with a pretty good sentence. In exchange, they would reduce my sentence and Taehyung’s to a couple of years and grant us protection while in jail so Mr. Kang and Sungho’s contacts couldn’t reach us.”

You nodded, encouraging him.

“But Mr. Kang heard about my agreement and acted before it could come true. I handed the cops all the information I had, names, places, bank accounts… Everything… And then went to your graduation ball in hopes that they would act quick enough for them to capture Mr. Kang and Sungho before the fight had even begun… The cops never appeared, and… And when I heard they had killed Taehyung I went searching for Mr. Kang and his men. Killed Jiwon’s brother, then Mr. Kang,” he said, as if it was something normal. “Lastly I killed Jiwon.”

You gulped. You blinked a few times staring at his hands. They were clean, but you knew they were stained in blood, just like Jiwon’s had been when he came to your room.

“The agreement was to hand the police Mr. Kang and their men alive… So now the agreement is over, and they’re going after me.”

“You can tell them what they did, tell them that he had undercover men.”

“They already know.”

“And then?”

“They just don’t know who they are,” he sighed. “It’s not that easy Y/N. Having some gang after me… I could hide with the protection Sungho offered me. But hiding from the police, after betraying both gangs… Sungho is in jail now and I’m sure he knows I was the one who sold him out, I don’t have his protection anymore and I can’t let police get me. Justice won’t be soft on me, and without their protection in jail, I’ll be dead.”

“There has to be other way…”

“There is,” Jungkook nodded, once again grabbing your hand in his. “Disappearing. Going as far as I can.”

You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.

“Listen to me, Y/N,” he said. “Look at me, look at me please,” he told you. You softly opened your eyes. The sky outside was so cloudy there was barely any light in the room. “This is what is best now, this is making things right. I wish I had more time to say goodbye, maybe a last week with you or so, but I already risked being here for a week waiting you would get better. Now that I know you’re safe, I can go –“

“Jungkook.”

“Let me finish, please,” he said.

You nodded, swallowing all your tears bitterly.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re also the most stubborn and insufferable person I know,” you both laughed at that. “But it has brought me to life. You and your hot temper and attitude and your strong character and your snarky remarks. You have brought me to life, and I have no words to describe how thankful I am.”

You smiled at him, or at least tried, because your vision was so blurry you could perfectly be staring at the window.

“You’ve made me, for the first time in a long time, want to be better, want to make people proud of me. I haven’t been able to do so in the end,” he scoffed. “But I’ve tried, I swear I’ve tried.”

“I know.”

He grabbed your face with both hands.

“And I don’t want you to cry for us, or to be sad about what could have been,” he said, shaking his head. “Because we made the most out of the little time we had together. I wished it would have been eternal, a lifetime length, but it can’t be. I would do it all over again, maybe I would change some things like kicking you out of my apartment that night you met my mother…” you turned serious and he laughed at your face. “But I would do it all over again if it meant being with you.”

“I would do it all too, Jungkook. You’ve turned my boring life into something exciting.”

“So exciting it nearly killed you.”

And there they were, those words he always said that made you laugh even if your heart was breaking into a million pieces.

You closed your eyes as you laughed. It was bitter, but it was true. You basked in the warmth of his hands, in the comfort of his presence.

“Will I ever see you again?” you finally opened your eyes and stared at him.

His eyes were shinny and wet, looking as round as the planet Earth. You swore he could hold the whole wide world in them.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“I’ll wait for you, Jungkook. I’ll wait for you to come back to me. Maybe ten years from now, maybe fifty… I don’t care. I’ll wait for you.”

He shook his head.

“Don’t,” he smiled. “I don’t deserve it. Be happy, live a full life. Adopt a puppy and call him Jungkook –“

“You know I would never do something as cruel to a poor puppy as calling him Jungkook,” you interrupted him, trying to turn serious.

He laughed and stared at you with adoration written in his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was about to leave the woman of his life.

“Okay, call him Four-Cheese Pizza,” he joked. “Buy a nice house and go to IKEA to buy furniture and steal as many small pencils as you can from there. Dance and laugh and meet people… Travel around the world, get to know every place and think of me in each one of them hugging you, kissing you or making you trip,” you punched his arm and he laughed. “And maybe, one day, we’ll find each other again.”

“Maybe one day…” you breathed, as if it was your own promise.

He sealed that promise with his lips, caressing yours with them until you started to feel dizzy and him, breathless. It was a bitter seal that held a sweet promise.

The promise that maybe, you would come across each other again, in some corner of this world. The same world that Jeon Jungkook held in his eyes as he walked out of your hospital room and stared at you with those beautiful, dark, almost animalistic eyes, for the last time.

Present day…

The girl blinks, hoping the man will continue talking.

When she does so, some tears escape from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. She quickly wipes them away, not wanting the man to see her cry and make him feel bad.

He doesn’t see, though, his eyes lost in the cloudy sky outside the window. She has finally convinced the man to raise the blinds so the room wouldn’t be as dark.

When the girl sees the man isn’t going to talk, she opens her mouth.

“And what happened after that? Did you go back to the city? Did you see her again?” she asks, not being able to stop herself.

She can’t believe their story ended like that, no wonder why the man is so bitter and nostalgic all the time. If she had a love like that, and she let it go, she would also be bitter and nostalgic, though the circumstances weren’t the best…

The man smiles softly and stares at the girl.

“I did,” he says. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and for the first time, she sees him looking tired and drained besides sad and bitter.

“A-and… What happened? You went back together? Was she waiting for you?”

The man laughs at the questions. The girl is curious. She reminds him so much of you…

“Seven years later, I received a call from Namjoon. We kept in contact every once in a while, careful not to get caught,” he says. “Sungho had been killed in a brawl inside the jail. Some of his men died with him too. It was finally safe to return to the city.”

The girl smiles, waiting for the man’s next words, eager to hear him telling her about how he saw Y/N again.

“After seven years I went back to that city, my house. It had changed so much. The problematic area was now a neighborhood full of young couples and students. The neon lights had disappeared, they weren’t trendy anymore. Minho’s club had been turned into a gambling building… I searched for her as soon as I stepped a foot in that place.”

The girl leans forward in her chair. She’s excited.

“She was now living in a modest neighborhood, nice apartment, she owned a car of her own. A nice Chevrolet. She worked at a hospital not far from her apartment. There were some flower shops nearby and a small shopping center. It took me two weeks to gather the guts to go to the hospital and wait for her near the parking entrance. I sat on top of a stone bench waiting for her evening shift to end. It felt like an eternity, but when I heard her laugh and saw her walking out of the hospital front door and towards the parking entrance, I knew it had been more than worth it. She looked…” the man stops, eyes getting lost in the distance. The girl swore she could see the girl reflected in the man’s eyes, she swore he was seeing her all over again in his head.

“Breathtaking. She hadn’t changed one bit. She had cut her hair and her face looked brighter, but besides that, she was the same girl I had left in that hospital room seven years ago. It took me everything not to run to her and kiss her… But I didn’t. I stayed there, watching her walk with her colleague, laughing and talking about everything. I stayed there and when they approached too much, I ran away. It was like that for a month. Sometimes it was after the night shift, sometimes after the morning shift. Sometimes she walked with someone, sometimes she walked alone. Some days it rained, other days, it was sunny. But I never had the courage to stand from that stone bench and walk towards her.”

The girl’s smile vanishes and her eyes turn sad.

“One day, I told myself it would be the day. I brought some flowers in the nearby flower shop, some beautiful sunflowers. I sat on that bench and told myself that I would get her, the woman of my life, that I would kneel before her and tell her how much I had missed her, how much I…” the man stops, and his eyes return back to reality. He returns to his hospital room, to his bed. His eyes turn sad once again. “But then I saw her smiling at her phone, looking so bright and… Beautiful… And images of her in that hospital room, eyes filled with tears, looking sad while I broke her heart and told her we couldn’t be together, that I had to leave the city, to leave her came to my mind. I couldn’t see her sad once again, and somehow, I knew my presence would bring her that. Sadness. Would bring her all the bad memories and feelings. I wanted her to remain happy and bright and healthy.”

The man stops, and the girl bounces her leg up and down impatiently.

“So I told myself that it was better that way. That she thought I was still lost somewhere across the sea. I stood up, threw the flowers on a nearby trashcan and stared at her one last time. I felt as if I was taking a picture of her with my eyes, and then, walked away and never went back to the hospital or… To her.”

The young nursing student opens her mouth and gasps.

“You… You never saw her again?”

The man shakes his head. His dark eyes find the girl’s and she shivers.

He can see in them everything the man had once been.

“I told myself I was doing it all for her, that I was keeping her safe and happy. I hoped she was happy with her job and life and new apartment. And I stayed out of it… I told myself that during the following four months, and everyday was a battle against myself, not to go to the hospital and see her again, just one last time… But I was just lying to myself,” he scoffs bitterly. “I didn’t do it for her. I did it for myself. Because I was so scared, I was so scared she had done what I had asked her and had moved on, that she hadn’t waited for me. I was so scared she would reject me or tell me that she was better without me. I was so scared that she didn’t even remember me anymore… So I saved myself the pain and disappeared, carried on with life.”

“How could you do that? You loved her.”

The man smiles at the girl’s words.

“I did it precisely because of that.”

“And what did you do? With your life.”

The man shrugs. “Found a decent job, decent apartment. Visited my mom, I bought myself a nice car too. I got married once, unsurprisingly it didn’t go well and divorced. Met some more women after that… But nothing serious. And… Here I am now. A sad, old man who is about to die just as sad and alone.”

“You won’t be alone, Mr. Jeon,” the girl decisively says, nodding her head. “I’ll be here with you.”

For the first time since she knows him, she sees him smile, properly smile. He has a beautiful smile, one that makes him look younger. His bunny front teeth shows, and new crinkles form by the side of his eyes.

“Thank you, young girl,” he smiles.

The girl grabs his hand.

“If there’s something I can do for you, Mr. Jeon… Call a friend, search for someone…”

The man narrows his eyes.

“There is one thing you can do for me.”

The girl nods and lets go of his hand. The man sits on his bed with effort, opening the drawer of his nightstand and grabbing an envelope from it. He hands it to the girl and she holds it delicately.

“It’s for her,” he says with a raspy voice. “She lives near the Central Hospital. Sixth floor, B door.”

She stares at the envelope, your address written on it.

“I was planning on sending it to her since a long time ago… But never did. I think now is the time to start doing things I wanted to do but never did, don’t you think?”

“Do you want me to go to her house and give it to her?”

“Yeah, I’d love it. If you want to, of course, I would never –“

“I’ll do it, Mr. Jeon,” the girl nodded solemnly. “I’ll give it to her.”

. . .

It is a week after Mr. Jeon is gone, that the girl finds the strength to finally keep her promise to him.

On a Tuesday evening, she walks out of the hospital, letter secured in her backpack and follows the address that was written on the envelope of the letter.

She knocks on the B door of the sixth floor of the apartment building near the Central Hospital and waits.

It seems like an eternity, but eventually, the door opens.

It reveals a woman with soft wrinkles starting to cover her face. She radiates something the girl can’t put a name to, but something that makes her understand why Mr. Jeon once fell for her.

“Hello?” she asks, her voice is soft and she smiles at her.

“Hi,” the girl says shyly.

She doesn’t know where to look at, she can’t help but stare at the woman before her, at you. You look just like Mr. Jeon used to describe you, he didn’t leave any detail out.

You raise your brows and the girl laughs.

“Oh, sure,” she smiles, grabbing her backpack from her back and unzipping it. She searches through it, hand coming across the letter finally.

She hands it to you with a smile on her face.

“It’s from an old friend,” she says.

You take the letter from the girl’s hand, frowning a bit.

“From an old friend?”

The girl nods and zips back her backpack, hanging it over her shoulder afterwards. She would love to stay there and see you read Jungkook’s letter, to know what he had written in it and how you would react to it, but she felt it was a moment that belonged to you and Jungkook only.

Smiling at you one last time, the girl walks down the corridor and disappears from your sight.

You’re left there, door still open, with that letter in your hands.

Still frowning, you close the door of your apartment, ushering your cat inside.

In silence, you read the letter.

To Y/N:

This is going to be brief. I hope you don’t throw this away as soon as you see my unmistakable handwriting.

There’s not been a single day when I haven’t missed you. There’s not been a single corner of this world that didn’t remind me of you. Everywhere I went, everywhere I stayed, there you were with me, in my arms (or tripping under my playful foot)

I’ve loved you every single day of my life.

I’ll keep loving you even afterwards.

Jungkook.

[sinfullypassionate]

The Nanny - G.D.

summary: y/n’s helped grayson take care of his beautiful daughter since she was nine months old. over the years, she’s fallen head over heels for not only his daughter but grayson himself.

a/n: here’s my new fic i’m super excited for y’all phew pls enjoy

"Winnie, time for supper baby." She called out to the four year who was coloring in the living room.  She had made her favorite, chicken fingers with barbecue sauce. As she set the table, She heard her feet running down the hall and the older woman couldn't help but shake her head with a bright smile on her face.  "Y/N! Y/N! Look what I did!" The raven haired beauty showed her a picture she colored. It was a puppy with purple fur and pink eyes. "It's beautiful! Is it for me?" She asked the girl, picking her up. She nodded her head with a wide smile on her face, "Yeah! I'm glad you like it!" She giggled. "I'm gonna be coloring one for Papa before he comes home!" Winifred wiggled in her chair once she set her down. Y/N couldn't help but smile at her, she was so adorable. "Your Papa would love that." She said as she placed her favorite plate with a panda face on it, in front of her. "When is Papa gonna be home?" Questioned the four year old. "Soon, pumpkin. He had a meeting with uncle Ethan, but he promised to be home before you went to bed." She sat next to her and poured her a small glass of milk. "I miss him.." She pouted before taking a large bite of her chicken finger. "He misses you too, sweetheart. But, he'll be home soon!" She tapped her nose gently which caused the little girl to giggle.

As she watched her eat, she couldn't help but think about how much she looked like Grayson. She had his beautiful hazel eyes and her hair was a beautiful shade of brown just like his. Winnie was so beautiful and Y/N loved her, loved her with all her heart. She also loved him, but she was just the nanny. He had tons of girls throwing themselves at him who were ten times prettier than her and it hurt the woman sometimes; but right now what made her happy was watching that beautiful little girl who made her heart soar. If Gray had a new girlfriend, she rarely let them meet her. Winnie’s not her daughter but she feels like she is. Y/N had been her nanny since she was nine months old, so obviously she felt like she was her’s. See, what happened was Grayson met this girl back in Jersey when he went back for a few months with Ethan. They ended up hooking up and she got pregnant, she didn't want nothing to do with the baby and Grayson had always dreamed of being a dad so he just said fuck off to the girl and took full custody of baby Winifred when she was born and nine months later Y/N had her job.

Y/N walked into Starbucks, her sister’s daughter holding tightly onto her hand as her two older kids followed close behind. She had agreed to watch her nieces and nephew so her sister could have some much needed alone time with her husband. “tell me again why we decided to go into Starbucks?” Caroline grumbled, the fifteen year old staring down at her phone. “Because I wanted coffee since it’s almost ten am and we have errands to run.” the twenty one year old said. “gray, baby. go sit with your sister while i go order coffee okay?” Y/N said, smiling down at the twelve year old. “okay, Y/N! can i get a hot chocolate please?” the blonde haired boy asked, Y/N simply nodded before noting to also order one for the grumpy fifteen year old dirty blonde who was already sitting at the table.

picking up the three year old in her arms, Y/N held her tightly on her hip as she decided what she wanted to drink. “auntie, i’m hungy.” the three year old whined, “i know, punkin’. i have your snack in the car, just give me ten minutes okay?” she smiled, kissing her cheek. the little blonde haired girl just nodded and started playing with her aunt’s hair. finally deciding on a caramel macchiato, she walked up to the counter at the same time as probably one of the most beautiful human beings she’s ever seen. “oh, i’m sorry you can go first.” the male spoke and Y/N couldn’t help but look down at the adorable little sleeping baby in the stroller. “oh my god, so precious.” Y/N spoke, a smile on her face.

“thanks, she’s six months old. her name’s Winifred.” spoke the beautiful hazel eyed boy. “and who’s this cutie? she yours?” he asked. Y/N simply shook her head, a soft smile still on her lips. “this is my beautiful niece aurora. say hi, rory.” Y/N said, giggling a little as the shy little three year old simply just waved before burring her face into her aunt’s neck. “she’s always shy around strangers.” the girl spoke, just as the mysterious male was about to open his mouth up ran grayson. “auntie! caroline won’t let me borrow her phone charger to charge my tablet.” the twelve year old rolled his eyes. “gray, i’ll literally be done here in like twenty minutes. you can clearly just read a book, there’s one in my purse.” she simple stated before shooing her nephew away. “sorry about that, grayson and his sister fight all the time. i swear, i have no idea how my sister handles it.” she laughed. “wait, did you just say his name was grayson?” the male questioned, cocking his head to the side. “yeah..” Y/N said slowly, not understanding where the stranger was going with this.

“my name’s grayson too. grayson dolan.” grayson said, shooting her a wide smile. that’s when it clicked, she knew he looked super familiar. caroline was completely obsessed with the dolan twins and Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t watch a few videos with her niece just to stare at grayson. “my sister’s husband is gonna be pissed. he thought grayson was a unique name.” she shook her head, giggling. “how old is your sister?” grayson asked, gently moving the stroller that held Winnie since he heard her fuss. “Twenty four, Caroline and Gray are her step kids. she’s been with her husband since she was twenty and they just got married a year ago when this little one was two.” she tickled her nieces belly which caused her to giggle. “and you’re taking on watching all three because?” Grayson questioned, chuckling a little. “I’ve always been good with kids plus I love spending time with them.” Her face seemed to light up at those words. Grayson couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, she just lit up like a Christmas tree when she talked about taking care of kids. Gray could always read people very well and there was something about Y/N that he couldn’t shake. She had a good soul and he wanted to get to know her better. “How about I buy you a coffee and we get to know each other a little?” Grayson smiled at her which caused Y/N’s heart to skip a few beats.

the girl smiled at him before frowning, “I have so many errands to run and I wish-“ before she could finish, Grayson cut her off. “Drive your car over to my place and we can go together. All four kids and us.” He suggested. This wasn’t like Grayson at all, he didn’t even know this girl yet here he was offering to take her around just to get to know her. Y/N was a bit taken back as well but the second she saw his smile, she knew she couldn’t say no. “I’d love too, also please get ready to get hounded a little. Caroline absolutely loves you and your brother.... Evan right?” She made a face. Grayson just chuckled, “Ethan but close and don’t worry, we love our fans.” He told her before picking up Winifred once she started crying. Taking out his wallet, he handed Y/N his card. “Get whatever you like, I’m gonna go change her real quick.” Before she could even protest, grayson was already heading to the bathroom with his daughter in hand.

Y/N and Grayson got to know each other over the next few months and when Winnie turned nine months, Gray asked if she would become her nanny and Y/N didn’t even hesitate. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t grow quite attached to the little bundle of joy over the course of three months. Y/N’s been with her every day since and she wouldn’t change it for the world. Once Winifred was done eating, she leaned up to kiss her cheek, "Thank you, Y/N!" She giggled before running off back into the living room. She just smiled before cleaning up the mess she made in the kitchen, Y/N usually ate when she was sleeping or when she got home. The twenty five year old lived about thirty miles away, but it was so worth the drive there and back every day because she adored Winifred and Grayson counted on her. Hours had passed and it was now time for Winnie’s bath and then Grayson would be home to tuck her in like he always did. No matter where he was or what he was doing, he'd always make sure he'd be home to tuck her in. "Winnie, sweetheart. It's time for your bath." Y/N walked into her bedroom, to see her playing with her barbies. "Nooo! I'm playing!" She whined as she changed her barbie's clothes. "Winifred Lisa Dolan.." the woman looked at her, arching her eyebrow and placing her hand on her hip. The second Winnie saw that plus hearing her whole name; she instantly threw her barbie down, hopped up on her feet and ran to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, her bath was over and Y/N was currently brushing her raven haired locks as she stood on her bed. Y/N then heard the door downstairs open and close, the four year old started getting excited knowing her papa was home. "Win, hold on baby. I'm almost done." She told her, as she gently held her shoulder as she continued to brush her hair. Y/N seriously couldn't get over the fact on how much Winifred loved Gray, and just how much he loved her. It was so precious, she loved when they were together. Sometimes, Y/N really wished Winnie was her’s and they were a family but being her nanny was enough for the older woman. "Okay, sweetheart you're-" Y/N couldn't even finish her sentence before the little four year old was already off her bed and out the door. Y/N soon followed her, smiling as she saw Grayson crouch down to her level to pick her up and spin her around. "Princess! I missed you so much!" He held his daughter so tight the girl thought her head was going to pop off. "I missed you too!" She giggled as he kissed her face. Yawning, she cuddled into her papa and Y/N knew she wanted to stay up and spend some time with him but Gray just picked her up and carried her to bed even though she was fussy. "Honey bunches, you need sleep. Papa will be here when you wake up okay?" He told her, smiling as he placed her in bed kissing her forehead. "Okay, Papa. I love you.." The second her head hit her pillow, she out like a light.

When he took her up to bed, Y/N finished cleaning up the house before walking to the window and pulling the blind down. There was a massive storm coming and she was a little nervous to go home. She turned around and jumped a little when she saw Grayson standing there. "You seriously scared the living hell out of me, Mr. Dolan!" She placed her hand over her heart and giggled a little. "Y/N, for the millionth time in the span of four years.. call me Grayson." He told her, chuckling as he shot her his beautiful pearly white smile that caused her heart to do flips. "Sorry, sorry. I forget sometimes." The woman giggled once again before walking over to the door and slipping on her shoes. She grabbed her purse and jacket before sliding the fabric over her arms. "I should really get going, there's a massive storm coming and I'd rather not get stuck in the middle of it." Y/N simply said as she dug her keys out of her purse. "Or you know... you could just stay the night?" He rubbed the back of his neck as he gave her a half smile. "Are you sure? I don't wanna impose.." Y/N looked down at her feet, clicking her heels together. "Y/N, you take care of my daughter. I think having you stay the night so you don't get stuck in some storm, isn’t you imposing." he chuckled a little. "Yeah, I guess that' s probably the right thing to do. I'll just sleep in the spare room, yeah?" She peeled off her jacket before hanging it back up and kicking off her shoes.

"Or you could just lay with me in my bed?"

[crowdedimagines]

Lovebug - David Dobrik

an// this was in my inbox at one point, but i can’t find it now! i hope y’all liked this because it turned out SO fucking cute

~

! David’s POV !

“Hey, you guys!” I talk to my camera as I sit in my car, by myself for once. “You guys probably know when I whisper and I’m in my car, that means it’s time to surprise someone!”

I let out a laugh and reach to grab the tickets off of my dashboard.

“Seatgeek actually helped me out with this one. Y/n absolutely LOVES the Jonas Brothers. I’m pretty sure she’s more obsessed with them now than when we were like ten.”

I reach to grab my phone so I can call Y/n to come out here. I’m sitting in my car in my driveway and she’s inside the house, she has no idea I’m just sitting in the Tesla.

“David?” She answers with a laugh.

“Can you come here?”

“Where are you? Aren’t you still in your room?” I can hear the commotion of her getting up from the couch.

“Actually, I’m in the driveway.” I laugh loudly.

“David.” She deadpans, “What are you up to?”

“Nothing! Just come out here.”

I hang up the phone before she can argue with me at all. It takes a couple of minutes before comes out the front door. Her arms are crossed and she has a grumpy look on her face. I turn the camera in her direction, still laughing.

“So, where’s the paintball gun?” She asks, looking around.

“There’s no paintball gun.” I shake my head.

“Well, you already gave me a car, so what are you up to?” She squints pointing between me and the camera still sitting on the dashboard.

I did give her a car. It was a few months ago. She was still driving the crappy car that she drive to L.A when she moved here. The engine failed and was going to be thousands of dollars to fix. Instead, I bought her a new surprise.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“No, David.” She groans, leaning back in her seat. “You need to stop doing this. I’m not that good of friend.”

She ends up laughing at the end of her sentence, which makes me laugh too. I reach down the the side of my door to grab the tickets.

“Surprise.” I say to grab her attention, she reaches out for them and it takes her a couple seconds to figure out what they are.

“David!” She screams my name loudly getting excited, “You did this?”

I nod, not being able to wipe away my smile with how excited she is.

“Thank you so much.”

She reaches forward and pulls me into a hug.

“Yeah.” I say awkwardly.

“David.” She gives me a look, “You need to stop spoiling me.”

“What? It’s just a concert. It’s not that big of a deal.” I shrug.

“It is a big deal! Even if they’re nosebleed seats, it’s a big deal. You knew that this is something that I would really enjoy and you did it for me. That’s why it’s a big deal.”

I smile and look away to try and avoid her seeing the blush on my cheeks. I have liked this girl ever since the day I met her and she is completely oblivious to it.

“You’re going to come with me right?” Y/n asks as we walk back into the house.

“Uhh, yeah? If you want me to.” I scratch the back of my neck.

“Well, of course I do, David!” She pulls me in for a second hug, “Thank you.”

! Y/N POV !

It takes a couple of weeks for it to finally be the concert date. I literally couldn't be more excited for it. It was such a sweet thought on David’s end to realize just how much I would love this. I’m really glad that he decided to come with me. I have had a huge crush on him ever since I met him, but I think he’s oblivious to it because he’s never made a mood.

I’m meeting David at his house so we can leave together.

“David?” I call as I let myself into the house.

“He’s getting ready in his room.” Natalie answers from the couch.

“Ohh, okay!” I sit down next to her to wait.

“You look cute!” She smiles, looking at my outfit.

“Thanks! I’m really excited.”

“David is too! He’s been talking about it constantly!” Natalie laughs.

“Really? I kind of thought I was dragging him along to this.” I laugh.

“No, he’s definitely excited.”

As if on cue, David finally comes out of his room.

“Natalie, do you think that this is okay for-” His eyes find me and he stops talking, “Y/n, you’re here!”

“Yeah, I called your name when I came in.” I look at him with questioning eyes. “You look nice.”

David seems thrown off by my comment.

“Uhh-yeah-uhh-thanks! You look nice too.”

“Thanks?”

Why is he being so weird now?

“Ready to go?” I ask, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah.”

He grabs his keys and we say our goodbyes to Natalie. Once we get in the car and start jamming to music, things are better. Neither of us notice his camera as we dance to a mixture of Abba and the Jonas brothers.

“Ahh!” I cheer as we get out and walk to the venue, “I can’t believe we’re here!”

“I know! I feel like this is gonna be a good concert.”

“Well, duh!” I grab David’s hand so I can drag him inside faster. We manage to find out seats, which are only two rows back from the front.

“David, these seats are insane! I could probably touch Joe if I wanted to.” I scream over the loud music. It’s only his loud laugh that ensures me that he heard me.

The concert is a good mix of their new album and some of their older stuff from years ago. It gets quiet as they start the next song.

“Lovebug!” I grin, turning to David to see his reaction. He’s already looking at me with a smile as well.

I can’t help but sing along to the song that was my favorite in my childhood. I dance around between lyrics and manage to get David to let loose too.

“David, I know that you know the lyrics.” I turn, his hands somehow ended up intertwined with mine.

“Now I'm speechless, over the edge. I'm just breathless. I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again.” David sings, making me grin.

Without either of us thinking, we lean in. Our lips connect and it’s the spark I’ve been waiting for since I met him. I can feel him smiling which makes me smile against his lips too. The rest of the concert carries on around us, I can hear the lyrics, but I don’t want to ever pull away from his lips. The lights flash all around us and I feel at home in his arms.

“Wow.” David is breathless once we finally separate, his hands are still buried deep in my hair.

The rest of the concert continues, we hold hands the whole time. Every once and awhile, one of us will interrupt the other with a kiss. All too soon, the concert is over, but David and I aren’t too bummed to drive home.

“I can’t believe that that happened.” David and I slowly walk to his front door. We know that as soon as we walk in there will be people there and we’ll have to explain ourselves.

“I’m so glad that it did.” David responds.

“Me too.” I lean forward to pull him in for another kiss.

We walk into the house, dropping each other’s hands as we kick off our shoes.

“Well, well, well.” Zane’s voice calls us out and we both turn to look at him. I wasn’t expecting so many people to be here, especially since David wasn’t Zane, Health, Mariah, Jeff, Carly, Erin, Natalie, and Jason are all in the house. David seems surprised that they’re here too.

“What’s up, guys?” David asks.

“You guys are acting all innocent.” Jeff rolls his eyes.

“What?” I question.

“How long have you guys been hiding it from us?” Jason asks.

“Okay.” David holds his hands out in defense, “What are you guys talking about?”

“You guys are dating!” Erin shouts.

I can feel my face flush and I turn to look at David and his expression matches mine.

“How did you guys even find out?” I ask.

“It’s all over twitter.”

Oh no. David and I both reach for our phones. When we open up Twitter both of our accounts are being flooded with mentions. Pictures and videos of us kissing at the concert, Different angles, different people posting about seeing us there. It’s all out there already.

That’s what the flashes were when we were kissing.

“Shit.” I throw my head back against the couch.

“So, how long have you guys been dating?” Heath asks, a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I mean I totally saw it coming.” Carly admits.

“Me too!” Mariah shouts.

Everyone breaks out on a frenzy of talking about their theories of us being in a relationship. I look to David and he seems just as lost as I am. He reached forward and takes my hand in his. I knew that we would have to go public eventually, but I didn’t imagine that it would only be a couple of hours after getting together.

We talk for a while with everyone to explain that we were never hiding anything and explain the fact that that was our first kiss.

“Damn, that's your first kiss?” Zane asks as he watches the video again.

“Okay, okay, enough.” I laugh, taking his phone away.

Eventually everyone leaves and Natalie goes to bed. It’s well past midnight and it’s finally just David and I.

“So, what do you want to do about this?” I ask.

“Well, nothing to lose at this point.” David reaches for his phone.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Just wait.” He smirks.

It takes him a minute or two and then I get a notification that I’ve been tagged in a photo by David.

daviddobrik: Kissed her for the first time yesterday

“Baby!” I cheer, looking at his post. He used one of the pictures that the fans took and have been posting.

“Well, there was no point in trying to hide it at this point.” He shrugs, his arm reaches forward to pull me in close.

“Well, I’m really glad you came to this concert.” I laugh, “Just to think, our whole relationship is thanks to the Jonas Brothers.”

I laugh even harder and David just smiles.

“No, I would have told you eventually.” David sits up.

“Yeah, right.” I roll my eyes.

“So much sass. I didn’t know you would be such a sassy girlfriend to me.” He flips us over so he can hover over me.

“Please, that’s part of why you like me. You knew what you were getting in to.”

“Yes I did. I am more than glad to have you as my sassy girlfriend.”

He leans down to press a quick kiss to my lips.

“You’re my lovebug.”

“You’re my lovebug too.”

~

an// if you don’t get his post caption, honey you need to go listen to the song

[onisiondrama]

Sarah 8/24/19 Livestream Notes

(Notes from lolcow anons. I missed most of the stream so I couldn’t take my own notes. If the stream is uploaded to youtube, I’ll post it.)

>Did you or Kai, or Greg have a relationship before you turned 18? (they clarify sexual relationship). No.

>When did you last visit? 4.5 weeks ago. >How long has there been a romantic relationship? Like kissing and cuddling. Like what age? I was 18. I cuddle Kai when I was 16 in bed. >Who initiated the conversation? Greg. >How long was Greg trying to get you to sleep with him? I don't know how to answer that. >Were you attracted to both of them? Yes. >Were you interested when you started coming around? Yes. "Why are you exposing them now? Because this is bullshit and I'm getting harassed and getting told that I raped him." …  "Yes, they're saying that I raped them. That i blackmailed and raped them." 

>Did Kai ever stick up for you when Greg called you names? Only once. with "dat booty though" comment. So that happened when I was 16. I just gave him and look, and he was like, are you mad? are you mad? And I was like, no. I was just confused. So after that, I said something about it like a year later when I was living there for like the second time and he freaked the fuck out at me in a Walmart and he was just like, "tell me what i said. tell me what I said." because I was bringing up shitty things he did. And he was yelling at me, and I started freaking out and crying. I ran in to tell Kai what happened, and he said I had to leave. Kai stuck up for me by saying: "she has a job here." >People are asking if Kai ever had guardianship over you. Kai had power of attorney over me. Kai had nothing to do with that. Kai had guardianship–well, he was responsible for me basically. >About Kai and Sarah exchanging rings. Sarah said she bought it for herself. >About why they broke up Basically he broke up with me because I freaked out and left the house with all my shit for like three hours. And Kai called me and asked what I was doing, and I was being dramatic and I was like, yeah. Oh fuck. >Greg mentioned suggestive photos on twitter? He doesn't have any photos of me to my knowledge. He made a joke about secretly filming us, but I don't know.

she said the rape claim is because she made a joke about not signing the nda unless she "got what she wanted" ie sex, so he said that's blackmail/rape. he's fucking nuts 

He made everyone sign NDAs after "the Ayalla thing". Asked her to sign one, and I was offended/hurt by that. I said I didn't want to do it. They know that I would have done it if they really asked her to and got mad at her. All Greg had to do was say, "Can't you act like a fucking adult?" like he did with Ayalla. Leak the bloopers! >Any calls since breaking up I only got one phone call from Kai's number. It could have been Greg calling from his phone. That happened a lot. >What was the situation? Yeah, I was just dating Greg. Me and Kai never dated.

>Does Kai tattle if they want someone to leave the house? Oh yeah. I mean, we all did though, I tattled like a mother fucker. >How long after you turned 18 did you ersure a relationship? Talk of it happened a month before I turned 18. And, yeah. The only official relationship that really happened was like a month ago for 2 weeks. It's all just very grey.

>what made you want to spill now? I saw a bunch of shit, even if it wasn't about me. It made me mad but I still wasn't going to come right out and say things because I still felt loyalty. Then I got sent a few things, and I was like no. I'm not going to do this. Oh. And also him saying that I raped him.

she said that Lainey said to her that Billie was nicer to her (Lainey) when Sarah was around, and that's why she moved in in the first place

Ayalla is here now. she said: I remember when you were on the massage chair and greg made a comment how you looked like you were.. you know.. nut

>was he mean to you? The first time I met him was September 2016, he was nice to me that trip. After I moved in with them, after the whole Billie thing, he was mean. He was very mean. He was mean until about a month or two before my 18th birthday. He would call me a librarian. Like I looked like a librarian. There's just so much my head is spinning. He called me little sister 

>did you ever buy gifts for Kai after fights? one time on a live stream someone was asking me about Billie and I said I don't have any personal beef with her, or I'm not mad her because she didn't do anything to me personally. Kai saw that and was like mm I don't feel that and like, blocked. Well didn't block me but ignored me, ignored me for like a week or two. Until finally I was like please tell me what I did wrong. So then I was like sorry I didn't mean anything by it. So I bought him an edible arrangement. And THEN he texted me. >is Greg verbally abusive to Kai? Yes very much so. Some of the stuff I've heard, seen. It's just. He calls him a loser, idiot, cunt. He tells him, one time he told him he's not a real boy because he lies so much.

Sarah said in the livestream that she had interest in both Plainey and Gurg, everything else she said before this is definitely irrelevant and just lies to keep the Onion's from looking bad.

Onision calls Kai an "idiot" and "cunt" and one time told him he wasn't a real boy because he cries so much.

Sarah confirmed Caterpie is gone. I'm pretty sure she said they gave her away to no-kill shelter…

>did Greg force you to make that video saying nothing happened? Nobody held a gun up to my head. Because I was here at my house. But he was basically calling me and being like oh I need a statement from you it would help out Kai. I was like is that really what Kai wants, I don't know. He called me and he was like, I don't want a statement, but I want a video of you stating.. he gave me a list of things that he wanted. I was hesitant about it, he raised his voice at me, saying Kai was upset with me, he has anxiety, and the good thing to do would be make the video for Kai.

Sarah said they changed their names to not have things pop up when you search their names.

Kai and Sarah romantically talked when she was 15 years old. 

in February of 2016, right after the whole Billie thing. The first Billie thing. Kai got upset one night about Billie. and Greg reassured him that it would be okay, because they could just date me when I was 18. Why don't we just wait for Sarah. And then I'm the crazy one because I'm like, oh something's gonna happen! Like i'm the crazy bitch, get out of my house? 

>does Greg support Kai's transition? I was on the phone with Kai, Kai was like, not to make you feel bad or anything, or put any pressure, but Greg said he would be more comfortable with me getting top surgery if, basically, he had a pair of boobs in the picture. >does he still obsess over Billie? yes >did he compare you to Billie? Yes. Deadass. I'm not going to say exactly what but there were so many times when I was like. This is wildly inappropriate -when I was 16 I went there for the first time ever, in September of 2016. Greg took me down into the basement because I was upset because we were at the movie theatre and they were all cuddling together and i was just weirded out you know I was hurt. And he talked to me and he was like, he saw I was getting upset but Lainey and Billie didn't notice. So he took me back to the house and was like oh it's not a triangle. You're very important to Kai. It's not a triangle it's a square. So why would I be confused?

[advicewithkali]

Mistake, Maybe (Chapter One Draft)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s up guys, today we’re visiting Woodhils University to surprise a girl name Aubrey and her friend, who say they’re my biggest fans!” David sayid as he yelled into the camera.

He then turns his camera off and holds it in his left hand.

“David, how big of a fan are we exactly talking?” Jason inquires while chewing on green mint-flavored gum.

“I have to show you guys the video she sent me on twitter, I think she’s literarily my biggest fan. Check it out!” He said as he rummages through the slender small pocket of his black jean.

“You too, Jeff! You’re not going to believe this!” He yelled excitedly.

Jeff trudged over to the duo reluctantly, not really interested in the video David was about to show them or the visiting the university at all. David then pulled out his phone and opened the Twitter app, immediately going to his DMs. He scrolled through the messages for a second, before he landed on the video.

“Are you guys ready for this, it’s literally insane.” He said with pure excitement in his voice.

“David, come on just play it already,” Jason responded.

“Okay, okay, give me a sec.” He said as he turned his phone horizontally so that all three of them could see the video clearly. David then clicked on the video and let it play.

“My name is Aubrey and uh-sorry I’m a little nervous and excited uh.” She said as she began to fidget on her wooden chair. “Oh, my God David! Please, please, please come visit my school! I’m literally your biggest fan.” She abruptly blurted out quickly and loudly.

“She really is!” A female voice yelled in the background before quickly coming into the view of the camera.

“She’s literally obsessed with you, David. It’s bad. It’s so bad that we even have a “David Jar” in our dorm room. Anytime she mentions your name- mind you which is like every other sentence she has to put a dol- “She said before her explanation was interrupted by a slim hand muffling her speech.

“Sophie, shut up! Don’t say all of that shit. He’ll think I’m crazy! I’m trying to get him to visit us not run away, stupid!” Audrey yelled in slight frustration.

“Heh, sorry David uh, sometimes Sophie just says too much. Ha, you guys know how it is.” She said slightly nervous again as muffled noises began to come out from behind Audrey's hand.

“But anyway, David if you would come to visit me-us at Woodhill University dorm room 274 I would literally die, well no- but yes, okay gotta go bye!” She said yelled slightly frazzled and waved bye to the camera, along with a still muffled Sophie.

As the screen faded black, David turned around to face Jason and Jeff. “Can you guys believe that shit?” David asked still feeling ecstatic.

“David, I then she might be a little- off.” Jason trailed off and stopped chewing his gum.

“Ugh, Jason. Jeff please, please say you’re siding with me on this.” He said looking towards Jeff.

“Hell no, David. I’m siding with Jason on this one. You go there and you’re dead.” He said not sounding entertained with this idea.

“Well, if the two and the rest of the guys go, then I won’t be alone, no chance. Besides this will make some sick vlog footage! Jason told me it wouldn’t!” He said trying to convince them.

“It would but not if our lives at risk, David,” Jason said sounding slightly worried. “It’ll be fine. We’ll call up everyone and we’ll be all set. Nothing’s going to happen, Jason.”

Jason let out a deep sigh, “Alight, David. Let’s do this.

“Yes!” David said sounding thrilled. “What about you Jeff?” David said looking in his diffraction once again.

“I’m gonna pass. I don’t want to get murdered or risk going to prison again.” He said as he started to walk away.

“Wait, Jeff! If you don’t go how will you ever get that girlfriend, you said you wanted.” David said knowing that he had reeled Jeff back into his plan.

Jeff stopped abruptly in his steps, regretting a few months ago when he told the whole squad that he had been looking to find a serious relationship because now it was backfiring on him.

“Come on Jeff, at least one of those girls had to be your type!” Jason teased as he continued to chew the gum in his mouth.

Jeff smirks small as he turns around quickly, “Really, Jason? I pegged them more of your type don’t you like them young.” Jeff said as he was alluding to his tumultuous relationship with notorious Youtuber Trisha Paytas. They were twelve years apart.

“What?!” Jason yelled trying to act as if he didn’t know what Jeff was referring too. “That’s what you’re going to do old man? Act like you have no clue what or WHO I’m referring too.” He said as he chuckled.

“Of course, I do! I just don’t want to think about the past at all.” Jason said as he tried to make up an excuse.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell the truth Jase, is it because you don’t want Tris- “He said before he was cut off by a series of objections coming from Jason.

“No, no, no! Don’t say that name! I don’t want any more drama!” He pleaded. Jason, then took his eyes off of Jeff and glanced to his right and saw that David was filming their whole conversation.

“No, David! Do not put that in! Delete it!” He screamed as he waved his hands in front of the camera trying to block it from recording any further.

David just giggled as he blocked all of Jason’s attempts to shield his camera. “Are you kidding that clip was too good not to put in! Think of the views Jason, the views!” He said jokingly.

“David, no. I’m going through this all over again with her, I’m begging you not to put that clip in.” Jason said feeling exhausted.

David stopped moving and lowered his camera as he pondered for a bit. A few moments later, he began to speak, “How about this?” He said with a smirked.

Jason, looked into David’s brown eyes, “Really, you’re betting on my life right now.” He said knowing too well that, that statement followed by that smirk never meant a good thing. Jason knew from the past that meant that David was thinking, plotting really, and it sucked to be on the other end.

Jason let out a slow sigh, “What is it?” He spoke in a defeated manner.

“Nothing, much. It’s nothing much just two small things.” He said.

Jason gave him a look of disbelief knowing that when David meant small, he really meant large and at times very extreme.

Jeff moved closer to the duo as he began to take interest in something regarding the vlog for the first time today.

“The first part includes Zane- “

“Oh God, I’m screwed!” Jason shouted out.

Jeff’s left eyebrow raised as he took more interest in the situation unfolding before him.

David laughed as he continued to speak, “So Zane has to come out of this party without hurting himself, breaking anything, or hurting someone else.” He said.

“I’m doomed,” Jason said weakly.

Jeff chuckled as Jason began to panic waiting for David to announce the second part to his “wicked” plan.

“The second part involves Jeff,” David said laughing harder as he observed Jeff’s facial expression.

“Me? Why the hell am I involved in this!?” He questioned loudly.

“I’m glad you asked Jeff, because if you don’t find a genuine connection with a girl tonight then I guess Jason will be on Drama alert this week.

“Yeah, and how are you going to be able to tell if I made a genuine connection or not? You gonna stalk me like your little super fan?” He said in a brazen tone.

“Ha, no. I’ll ask you some questions, see if they add up and if they don’t well… It’s Killer Keemstar for Jason.” He said as he tried to imitate Keemstar.

“Wow, David. You’re crazier than I thought. You sure you aren’t part of the Slovakian mob or something?” Jeff asked.

“Nope, just doing it for some content.” He said casually.

“Jeff please tell me you got this. Please.” Jason begged again. “What am I saying, of course, you do. Look at you, the real problem is Zane. I’ve got to call him!”

“Don’t worry Jason, I’ve got your back.” He said but for the first time in years, he wasn’t confident about the words that came out of his mouth. After all, it had been so long since he’s made a genuine connection with anyone, let alone a girl. He’s a thirty-year-old man, with a lonely apartment, a dog, and a group of wilds friends, could he really get real and open with someone at this point in his life? Let alone in one night?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s up guys, so the squad and I are right outside of Aubrey’s door and we’re about to knock.” He whispered slightly as he filmed the members of the vlog quad, which insisted on Zane, Heath, Mariah, Jason, Erin, Carly, Toddy, Jason, Jonah, and Jeff. Then turned the camera back on the door room, 247.

David smiled brightly as he began to knock on the door. The door instantly and swung open, slamming into the bedroom wall. The squad was greeted with the sounds of loud squeals and jumping up and down coming to a brown skin girl with dark brown long hair and a slim thick body and a bright smile from an olive-colored girl with long black hair, dark brown eyes, and freckles.

“You must be Aubrey, right?’ David said with his well-known smile. “Yes. Yes! That’s me!” She said as she switched from jumping up and down to bouncing on the heels of her feet.

“Can I- Can I hug you, David?” She asked.

“Of course!” He yelled as he pulled her in for a hug. The pair hugged for a few moments before David pulled away.

“And you must me Sophie?” He asked.

“It’s Sophia actually everyone usually calls me Sophie or Soph. I really don’t care which one you call me by I’ll still respond.” She said chucking.

“I think you guys should come in before Audrey explodes. Plus, it’s Taco and Tequila Tuesdays and you don’t want to be outside for that.” She warned.

“Mhm, that sounds so good right now!” Zane yelled from the back of the group.

“Zane!” Jason grumbled under his voice as he elbowed Zane on the left side of his ribcage.

“Right, right. I forgot.” He responded back as he retreated slightly from the conversation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeff’s P.O.V

David was the first one to walk in the dorm room. Followed by everyone else. I was hesitant to walk in. I can’t really say I feel comfortable being on a college campus filled with people- kids about a decade my senior. And David really expects me to find a genuine connection with one of them. He’s clearly lost his mind.

As I walked into the cramped and small room, I noticed how differently each side was decorated. On the right was a very bright, pink, and girly side, it had to be Aubrey’s side of the room. It was pretty much like any other college dorm you’d see. While the other side was decorated in an alternative way. It was darker and had stacks of books, CDs and records, and band posters. I wonder who’s side it was. Not, Sophia’s. It doesn’t seem to match her personality.

I continued to analyze the room as everyone gathered around Aubrey’s bed. I then spotted a small shuffle out of the side of my left eye. I looked closer and saw that it was a girl. She was stunning. She had the most beautiful smooth brown skin and pillow-soft curls. I continued to stare in her direction as I observed her reading a book.

I guess I stared too long because she looked up in my direction before quickly turning away, huddling down in her book further. I was taken back slightly; I had never had that reaction before from someone. I guess she was just shy. I didn’t really know but I wanted too.

I kept looking in her direction a few moments longer, hoping she would look up at me again. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen as I was knocked out of my trance by Toddy when he elbowed me in my right ribcage.

“Dude, you alright? You zoned out for a while there.” He questioned. “Yeah…. I’m fine.” I said back, still not fully paying attention to him.

“Well then come on, Audrey’s about to answer some questions and prove that she’s David’s number one fan!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Before he could move, he glances back at the girl in the corner and saw her twitch slightly and move closer into the corner as she turned her back towards him.

With that, I finally joined the rest of my friends. I didn’t sit.  I told everyone that I felt better standing but in reality, I was uncomfortable being in this room. Not only was it a room for college kids but something was very off about the vibes in this room.

I left my train of thought to try and pay attention to what was going on before me. I tried my hardest to be entertaining and put on the “Jeff character” but I was so distracted by the girl in the corner. Every second I spent in this room I just wanted to turn my head and peek over at her even if it was for just a second.

“Okay, okay! Next question, “What sport did members of the vlog squad play that eventually lead to a kiss between Heath and me? I heard David ask.

“No way she’s going to get this one!” I heard Heath scream.

“Baby, it’s a wrap you ain’t getting this one!” Zane yelled in agreement.

“If she gets this one, I’m done I’m just- I can’t!” Toddy yelled right beside me.

I then looked up at Aubrey and saw a look of determination on her face followed a smirk and small glimmer of some something I couldn’t put my finger on, in her eyes.

“Beer Bottle Frisbee.” She said with all the confidence in her voice. Her answer was met with extremely loud cheers. As everyone was distracted, I turned my head quickly in the direction the mysterious girl was sitting and saw her getting up. I immediately turned my head back around, this time looking down in hopes of seeing where she was off too.

To my surprise, she ended up leaving without anyone noticing. While everyone was still cheering, I took this as an opportunity to go speak to her. I waited a few seconds before I slipped out of the room quietly and followed the direction, I saw her go in.

As I walked down the hallway, I saw piles of garbage, toilet paper streamers, and drunk guys getting loud in the hallway. This gave me even more of an incentive to find this girl. She doesn’t seem like the type to be safe in this environment.

I followed her for what seemed like an hour. I made sure to keep my distance. I didn’t want her to know that I was following her. I guess I could throw that thought right out the window because this is when she completely stopped walking.

“P-please stop following me.” She said with her back still turned to me.

I just continued to stare at her for a second before I spoke, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to talk to you.” I said, trying to find the right words to say to her. For some reason, my confidence with this girl was swaying.

“Why?” She mumbled lowly.

I walked closer to her until I was a few inches away from her.

“I can’t really come up with an excuse right now. There really shouldn’t be an excuse to talk to a pretty girl, so I won’t say one. I’ll tell the truth. There’s- there’s something about you something different that drew me into you and I just wanted to get to know you.” I said as I smiled.

“I’m Jeff,” I said as I held my hand out and continued to smile.

She turned around fully after I said my name. I could’ve sworn I stopped breathing for a second as I took in her full appearance. I felt wrong in away because I knew she was too young, but I pushed those thoughts aside because this opportunity was too perfect to miss.

I continued to hold out my hand and smile but her facial expression never changed, and she never made and moves to shake my hand. I looked at trying to predict what she would do. She then began to shuffle on her feet and moved her arms to wrap around her body.

“I know.” She whispered lowly. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to her reactions. She seemed so scared and guarded.

“Uh, so you watch the vlogs then?” I asked trying to then of something to get relive some of the awkwardness.

“Um, yeah sometimes. Mostly when I have free time form classes and studying.” She said with a little more pep as she looked up at me.

I smiled small. She finally said something more than one word.

“Not like your roommate, right?” I said as I chuckled lightly. Her face faltered at the mention of her roommate.

“No.” She said quietly again.

“So, I didn’t get your name,” I said.

“It’s ah Kamora. Kamora Maxwell.” She said facing me again with those big brown eyes. Even her name matched her.

“Everyone usually goes crazy for David and the vlog squad and you left? Not your type of YouTubers?” I asked trying to get her to speak more and refraining from personal or sensitive topics.

“Um, I’m just not much of a social person. And I do like you- um you guys but I like to see you guys as normal individuals. I don’t want to separate the human qualities from you guys just because you well know.” She said.

She’s attractive and smart, the full package.

“Believe it or not, I’m not social either,” I said being completely honest.

She looked at me intrigued.

“Yeah from the vlogs and my channel I look like this super social guy, but I hate it. I like to be independent and do my own thing. Don’t get me wrong I like my group of friends but sometimes I just need to retreat to my cave and recharge.” I said just blurting out how I felt. For some reason, I felt completely safe confiding in her.

She nodded her head in agreeance with me.

“So where are you from? You kind of have an accent but I can’t pinpoint it.” I said.

“I’m from New York City, actually.” She said.

“You’re lying!” I shouted getting a bit excited. She shook her no.

“What part?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t Staten Island.

“The Bronx.” She responded back.

“The Bronx, huh? I know a couple people up that way. They’re cool guys. I outta visit them when I head back home again.” I said reminiscing slightly.

“Since you watch the vlogs then you probably know that I’m from Staten Island- “

“The Forgotten Island,” We said in unison.

I chuckled at that and smiled at her.

We stood in silence for a few moments before I began to speak again. “It’s funny how we both ended up moving from one side of the country to the other. It’s crazy to think about how bad my life was going. The decisions and the people I were hanging out with put me right in prison. But, I’m so glad I was given another chance at life and I’m finally able to live a decent life.” I said as I opened up to her.

“For some reason, I feel like you weren’t like me. You needed up her for some reason and I-“I said before she interrupted me.

“I- I’m sorry. I-I can’t do this!” She yelled as she took a few tentative steps back before bolting past me.

I stood there in shock for a few moments. What did she mean that she “couldn’t do this”? Did she mean socializing in general or just talking to me? Was it something I said? I didn’t really know what to say or do at this moment all I knew was I had to find her and I had to make things okay.

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[segenassefa]

3. A Semi-Original List of Things To Do During Quarantine

Niggas all over the timelines are baking banana bread, doing headstands, and making Tik Toks. Yeah it was fun the first few weeks – but now we’re almost four months deep into quarantine and the gworls need some change! A bit of variety. Some pizazz, if you will.

Well, fear not!

I am here to help (as per usual). Digging into the depths of my chicken breast-like brain has been hard, but I’ve done it to compile a list of things to try now that quarantine is dragging along. Some of these you’ve definitely heard before (but they were so good, it was worth mentioning again), some of these you may have considered but never really saw the value in, and some of these seem like I pulled them out of my ass, but I promise, they’re a fun time and definitely worth the try.

Take up a new workout routine now that gyms will probably cease to exist.

I can’t even speak on this one (my record this quarantine has been four days without leaving my bed), but health comes in different forms. Even back in the early stages, one of my favourite things to do was get a coffee and aimlessly walk around downtown – it got me out of the house, it didn’t feel like exercise, and was an excuse to take advantage of the warm weather. Exercise is both important for physical as well as mental health, as cited by a million and one studies, and can break up the monotonous cycles of online shopping, self-loathing, and eating that everyone seems to be trapped in these days. Your options, however, go beyond yoga and walking. Buy some weights or use one of the jars of canned tomatoes you have sitting your pantry (…) and do a weight routine. Go for a run. Climb some stairs. Bring back step aerobics like the bad bitches from the 80s. Ride a bike (Queen’s Quay is really nice, and pretty empty on the weekdays). The other benefit to establishing a good routine now is that you can carry it out through the winter. Maybe not the bike riding part, but you get my point.

Socialize (safely).

           I never understood the obsession with patios until I went to El Jefe a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about how fun that actually must be when everyone isn’t terrified of getting a virus from the person eating chips and guac two tables over. But! There are alternatives! I know you don’t believe me but there are! Toronto has more parks and green spaces than you’d think, and now is the perfect time to take advantage of them. Connect with nature, friends, and socializing in an environmentally friendly space (throw those White Claw cans in the trash, please) and you and your friends will literally be the peak of ecofeminism. If you’re tired of wearing your crop tops and lashes to the grocery store, picnics and beach days also give you a reason to look cute in public again (and with a mask, you don’t even have to put foundation on the bottom half of your face. #win). Some of my favourite places include Trinity-Bellwood Park and Woodbine Beach. If you have a car (or a lot of patience) Scarborough Bluffs is also definitely worth the commute. I think it’s a game changer that “going out” now means sitting in the grass making small talk, instead of getting hammered in some dark, damp club, but maybe it’s also improvement.

Clear out the clutter that you always tell yourself you’re too busy for.

      ��    I know you see it, bitch. That box of clothes overflowing in the back of your closets. Or the basket of random hair ties, scraps of paper, and pen caps on your shelf. What about when you open social media – Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever – a see all these random people on your feed that you don’t remember following, much less ever meeting in real life. Quarantine has forced us to retreat to our own spaces, physically, mentally and emotionally, and now more than ever is the best time to reflect and take inventory of what brings you joy and (God forbid we’re in this situation again) what you’d be ok with surrounding yourself with 24/7. It may be hard – times of crisis especially encourage a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance one – but it doesn’t hurt to try and reframe your thinking!

The 3 Restaurant Rule

If you’re anything like me, then you love Uber Eats. Since this virus has stripped the joy of going out to eat from my small and soft hands, we’ve had to find ways to work around this. One of these compromises has been Uber Eats. But that, much like anything else in life, can soon get repetitive (and niggas were clowning me for actually enjoying Swiss Chalet. Fuck y’all.) So, I established some ground rules, one of which being the three-restaurant rule. Do I follow it all the time? No. But knowing that it exists had made trying new foods more like a game. Here’s what you do:

1.     First, pick a type of cuisine (I’m partial to sushi, so we’re going to use that for this example).

2.     Next, really study Uber Eats. Find the best restaurants in your area specializing in that kind of food and pick three restaurants that look the best to you. Another alternative (especially if you’re lucky enough to live downtown where a majority of restaurants are doing take out) would be to curate a list of places on Yelp! I loved doing this when outside was open – it made eating out feel a bit more purposeful, almost like it was for research).

3.     Then, keep a lil list – on your phone, on paper, in your camera roll - wherever. When you’re not in the mood to cook, consult the list, and don’t pick a restaurant twice in a row. Start building up a list of places that you can say you’ve tried. Keep tabs on how you felt about the food to compare it to in-person dining when restaurants re-open, or make it an event with friends. Dress up, get together, crack a bottle of wine (or some beers, or sake, ya know – whatever floats your boat) and make it an event.

The other upside to this is now when people ask me for recommendations, I can give them with confidence instead of bullshitting like I would have before (sorry y’all LOL).

Learn how to do your own personal upkeep.

           It would probably take me ten hands and feet to count the number of videos I’ve seen of nail salons throwing customers out for being black or on the prejudice of race and/or class, or the number of hair salons and stylists who charge extra fees for thickness, length (or lack thereof), or for specific styles and modifications, etc. If you knew me, you know I was devoted to my nail salon. I loved the feeling of getting a full set of acrylics, having all the work done for me, the little burn on my cuticles when they’d slide my hands under the UV light. But in quarantine, a lot of things happened – nail salons closed, I became unemployed, and suddenly, $60 manicures every two weeks were not realistic. YouTube has so many videos on how to do basic self-care - things like cutting or dyeing or braiding your own hair, doing your own nails (whether it be acrylic, gel, even a basic polish manicure), doing your own eyebrows – the possibilities are all there. And, if you get good enough – you can always go ahead and make it your own side hustle (with salons operating at half capacity, the demand for people that do house calls is rapidly increasing). I’ve recently swapped my acrylics for press on nails and let me tell you – game changer. They last just as long, look just as good, and allow me the freedom of talon-like nails without having my bank account scream at me (a post on how I do my faux-acrylics at home coming soon!)

Try to watch something that isn’t reality television.

I know 90 Day Fiancee is that GIRL. And if you’re like me, you tend to get very sucked into YouTuber mukbang drama as well (if anyone wants to discuss Nikocado Avocado with me, I am more than willing). But after a while, it gets kind of repetitive, and there’s no harm in educating yourself on other topics. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, even YouTube all have so many documentaries on a variety of topics – from crime, to health, to cults – there’s literally something for everyone. Plus, there’s something really self-satisfying about learning something on your own. If you need a place to start, my personal favourite is Bikram (Netflix) and any of the Vice documentaries on YouTube, but there are so many, so browse around and find one that suits your personal taste.

           There are also many documentaries on environmentalism and the Black existence/experience/life in America and globally. Considering all the things that are going on right now, it would be wise to educate oneself, especially when the tools for doing so are a few clicks away. My personal favourites are 13 and Who Shot the Sherriff, but there’s so many that you don’t have an excuse not to at least learn SOMETHING.

Severe ties and blame it on the pandemic.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe there’s the persistent wanna-be friend who you tried to avoid in your Thursday 11-1 lecture and would incessantly text you for notes. Or the creepy guy who would always be in your study spot in Deerfield and message you after with the dumbass eye emojis. Maybe it’s that one friend you used to call to console you of your issues, but by the end of the chat you felt more unnerved than understood. Whomever it is, don’t be afraid to stray away a bit and use the excuse of social distance or “getting your head together” to gradually give yourself some space and make things a bit obvious without having to be a total asshole. It can help, tbh, and the last thing you need in a time like this is to feel guilty for someone else’s feelings.

Be ok with doing nothing.

Life is always on some go,go,go shit. With people posting all those fucking memes about hustling or whatever, it can be easy to feel like you’re sitting in quarantine wasting your life away because you haven’t joined Forex, or OnlyFans, or started three side businesses, or taught yourself a new language or whatever. But listen – look at quarantine like a break. You had a nice long break to re-cooperate and self-indulge a lil bit and you know what? That’s ok! You’re not less of a person because you chose to rest or hang out in bed more than you should have. Don’t let other people’s progress (or lack thereof) be a measure of your own. How can you expect to bounce back after a GLOBAL PANDEMIC if you spent the entire time beating yourself up for not living up to other people’s idea of success? …Exactly. This list is just for fun and personal growth, but realistically, quarantine is for doing whatever the fuck you want (safely and sanely, of course), but literally look at this time off as God, Allah, Buddha, whomever, pumping the brakes on what is a normally hectic life. Slow down, enjoy the small things (ALL the small things), and allow yourself to be what you are – a human being, not a fucking machine.

[tiaragqueen]

Hello there! Could you write an obsessive yandere jungkook (who has an oppa kink) stalking his mechanic crush (that’s younger than him) and wondering what she keeps her so busy whenever he asks to hang out with her and come to find out, she turns out to be a yandere too after placing tracking devices in the majority of his posessions? This doesn’t make any sense tbh T^T

Hidden Blessing

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Jeon Jeongguk x Yandere! Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,7k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Obsessiveness, toxic relationship, stalking, reader being a yandere for the first time

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

Yandere reader, huh? I’ve certainly never tried this before, but I do think about it once in a while. And also, I don’t know much about mechanical stuffs. So, pardon me if this came out strange and Jungkook wasn’t obsessive enough. I feel a bit tired recently.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me.” – I Want You To Want Me [Cheap Trick]

[11.25 am] Jungkook: Hi, wanna hang out today? :)

Seen.

[12.10 pm] You: Hey~! Sorry, oppa. I’m busy today. Maybe tomorrow??

Seen.

[12.11 pm] Jungkook: Oh, okay then. Don’t forget to text me, kay? ;)

Seen.

Declined. Again.

Jungkook sucked a breath through his gritted teeth and threw the device in frustration. On to the bed, of course, because he couldn’t afford to break his precious phone. It was the only way he could contact you outside the campus, being a broke college student he was.

It was a hassle, having to text you first just to hang out together. Sometimes he wished he was more than a senior to you – more than someone you occasionally met in a passing – so he could freely visit you anytime he wanted.

But you never thought of him that way, did you?

Sighing, Jungkook plopped on the edge of the bed and rested his forehead against his palms. The urge to ‘claim’ you had never been this strong ever since you started declining his invitations. Jungkook didn’t understand what went on in your life until you couldn’t possibly spare an hour or so to hang out together. Yeah, everyone had their own businesses to deal with, but surely it wouldn’t hurt to spend a bit more time for him? He never asked much besides your company, and now you were too ‘busy’ to do that.

Or maybe he could come to your apartment and pretended to help you with whatever you were working on…?

No, he shook his head. That would be rude of him to show up in your doorstep unannounced. He should’ve waited a little longer. Didn’t you tell him that you would text him again tomorrow? Well, you didn’t since you only saw his message, but that counted as one right?

God, how did a simple hangout could be this complicated? Why couldn’t you just agree to his fucking invitation? Didn’t you know that he couldn’t be away from you for too long?

Jungkook simpered bitterly. Of course, you didn’t. You were too busy to notice that, anyway.

Well, there was no need to stress himself even more. You already promised him that you would hang out tomorrow, and Jungkook planned on keeping that promise.

Tomorrow…

In less than twenty-four hours, he would be able to be with you. Laughing, chatting, eating, touching. All the affectionate things that only lovers could do.

Lovers, not friends.

Boyfriend, not senior.

Jungkook grinned giddily and rested his head on the pillow. Staring up the plain ceiling, he imagined you laying on top of him with that angelic smile of yours. Your hand stroked his cheek tenderly, [e/c] eyes admiring the dark constellation that scattered around his face as he did yours. Then, after you finished marveling at each other, you would slowly lean down. Jungkook closed his eyes, pressing himself further into the bed.

However, instead of the kiss that would take his breath away or make him see the stars, only cold air greeted his lonely lips.

Fluttering his eyes open, Jungkook sighed in disappointment.

When would the day come until those imaginations materialize right in front of his sight like he always dreamed of?

***

You didn’t text.

Jungkook had waited and waited, since this morning, for the anticipated message. Permission from you. However, even after the hours fleeted to noon, his phone still showed your selfie that he secretly saved as his lock screen a few days ago.

Did you forget about your promise? Did you forget about him already? No, you didn’t. You must be doing something and you probably were waiting for the right time to text him.

No, he refused to believe that you forgot about your promise or him. You weren’t that cruel, right?

Then, why did you still haven’t send him a single message? It didn’t matter if it was a curt ‘yes’, Jungkook would still be happy. But apparently, you opted to ignore him instead.

Maybe you didn’t care about him as much as he liked to believe. Maybe it was all just his imagination, yet again. Maybe he had tricked himself into thinking that you cared about him.

Maybe you had been leading him on all along, and he was just too stupid to realize it now.

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook thrashed his room like a madman on the loose. After all the things he had done to gain your attention, after all the money he had spent for you to the point of near poverty, you had the guts to lead him on? What kind of a man did you take him for?!

You were a brave one, he admitted. No, not brave. Bold would be a perfect word to describe your attitude. Jungkook might have fallen head over heels to you, but it didn’t mean he would let himself be made a fool. Especially to some weak, lovely woman.

A glint in the upper corner of his closet caught his attention. It was tiny enough that he would have missed it, but somehow, his senses increased during his mini rampage. Perhaps, it was a sign from the above that his current situation wasn’t a predicament at all. Either way, Jungkook was glad that he noticed that alien thing.

Because he soon discovered that it was, in fact, a camera. And the flickering light indicated that it was on and recording.

Jungkook inspected its shiny appearance, face stony. It seemed brand new, from the looks of it. He was entirely clueless about that fact, but he knew that he should do the thing he had been procrastinating until now.

Cleaning.

Grabbing the cleaning equipment, Jungkook began to clear up the mess that littered around his room whilst searching for other hidden cameras. He found many tracking devices concealed in his bags, hoodies, the back pockets of his pants, and snapbacks. Dark was certainly Jungkook’s favorite color, thus camouflaging those devices that were also dark in color. They were active, as seen from the red lights that flickered intermittently. Aside from that, the stalker must have known that he tended to be careless.

But the question was, who would stalk him? There was nothing remarkable from him. Sure, he had a handsome, boyish face and bunny-like teeth that many people found a charm in. However, he wasn’t the only person who possessed such features. His grades weren’t high enough to attract attention, too. Average enough to pass the tests, yet not enough to be the top-third.

All in all, Jungkook was a normal college student that liked to procrastinate and played video games until late at night. Oh, and a normal guy that had a seemingly unrequited ‘crush’ on his junior.

“I want to be an artisan someday. I just like creating things, you know? Especially electronics devices, such as cameras and the like…”

You. You were his stalker. Oh God, how did this happen? Since when have you been stalking him? He thought you weren’t interested in him. And how did you manage to slip those–

“Glad to know that I’m not the only messy one here, Oppa. Don’t worry, I won’t judge!”

Jungkook’s tensed shoulders slowly slackened as the epiphany dawned on him.

“[Name], I’m gonna go to the bathroom for a bit.”

“Sure! I’ll look around in the meantime. Don’t pee on the floor, ‘kay?”

Happiness erupted within his swelling chest and manifested itself with a smile that became wider in each second. Jungkook didn’t know why he felt this way when he was supposed to be creeped out at the fact that you had stalked him for a month now. But one thing for sure was that his feelings and efforts weren’t waste in vain. In fact, you had been secretly reciprocating them by ‘keeping an eye’ on him.

You had been appointing yourself as his bodyguard, and Jungkook couldn’t be any happier.

What did he do to deserve such an attentive woman like you? He felt like the luckiest guy in the world, even though you both had yet to get married.

But there was no need to rush, now that he knew about your love for him. Jungkook always noticed that despite your playful attitude, you had a difficulty in expressing true feelings. And while he was a little disappointed that he only realized them just a few seconds ago, he understood and appreciated your efforts. Little things were what he cherished the most, although he certainly wouldn’t mind if you showed more forthright and grand gestures.

Whatever suited you better; Jungkook already accepted you as a whole, anyway.

The screen of his phone suddenly lit up, displaying the very name he had been waiting to see. Swiping the green button upwards, he put the phone near his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Oppa! Oh, God. I’m so sorry I forgot to text you!” Your frantic, yet heavenly voice filled his hearing. “I was so busy watching and–”

“I know,” Jungkook beamed, gazing out of the window. The sky was cloudy, and there were already several drops of water against the windowpane. Yet, an inexplicable warmth filled his heart as he listened to your sputtering across the call. “You were watching me, weren’t you?”

“W-what? Of course not! What are you talking about, Oppa?” you tittered and tried to cover up the truth, but Jungkook knew better. Besides, you weren’t very good at lying, anyway.

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge.” He used your own words to see if you were able to catch the hint. “Glad to know that I’m not the only one who works hard here. Thank you, by the way. I was surprised to see that camera inside my closet.”

“Oppa, can we go out?”

You sounded weary, and Jungkook didn’t like it. Not one bit. So, to cheer you up, he decided to say the sentence that you probably wanted him to say.

The three words that he had been yearning to say.

The three words that would change your lives drastically, either for the best or the worst.

For other people, it would certainly be the worst. But for him, it would be best. Because life with you was heaven in itself.

“I love you.”

There was a momentary silence before you replied in a soft voice. The kind of voice whose speaker had already surrendered to their fate, yet couldn’t have it any other way.

Because this was for the better.

“I love you too, Oppa.”

Satisfaction colored the happiness in his smile as he realized that hidden blessings existed in every kind of predicament. He just needed to look deeper and be patient.

For he would reap what he sow.