#plus I feel like all the stuff cars have today is unnecessary

[snooterkisser]

I got the cutest little lamb tattoo on my calf last week and the way it’s healing is absolutely adorable. Plus I want a little two head calf on the other calf. She wanted to do some colors and white highlights and it always makes me nervous with the white because I’m so dark and I hate going through the pain just for my melanin to suck it up but most of the white is still there.

[coolwali]

Minor Gaming Pet Peeves: Mandatory Story Breaks in Open World Games.

Hello everyone, today I want to talk about a pet peeve of mine I've seen in 2 open world games in particular, Spider-Man PS4 and Cyberpunk 2077. The feature in question is that certain points during certain missions, the game will tell the player to wait for a while before the next stage of the mission can begin. In Spider-Man's case, it's mostly limited to the main quest where after a major climactic event, Peter will say something like "that was intense, time to cool off for a while and go on patrol". Then the next main mission will not pop for a while, encouraging the player to partake in side activities. In Cyberpunk it's a similar case, only it can happen for any class of quests, not just main and the time to wait isn't consistent, seemingly being anywhere from a day in-game to several days + a few minutes.

Let's consider the pros; firstly it allows for story sanctioned breaks that may allow for more optimal pacing than if the player took the break during say, an urgent series of quests. It communicates to the player they can take a break now and it encourages the player to do some side content. It's also a nod to realism that some stuff takes a while to happen

But I find it not worth it and more annoying than anything.

Firstly, I like to play open world games by doing EVERYTHING before touching the main story and then blasting through the main story. So in Spider-Man, the game expects me to go out and do some side activities like finding backpacks or research labs, but I have already done everything. So I'm left just sitting there playing on my phone until the game lets me play the next story mission. For Cyberpunk, it's often not clear how long I have to wait. So I have to use the in-game sleep thing to sleep for 2-4 days at a time and then go around walk around for a while and hope the mission updates with the call. I imagine most players probably have some quests left when these breaks pop up so it's less of an issue but still.

Secondly, I find it interrupts the story more than it helps. Like in Cyberpunk, I want to see more of Panem's story, but there's frequent breaks and even if I have other quests to do, it feels like an interruption so I either have to go do other quests for a while or sleep for 4 days and then go and do another quest before I can finally get back to the storyline I am interested in. I'm going to go do all the quests anyway. This just feels unnecessary and it takes my agency. Plus it can seem punishing if you do some side questing before you get one of these waits, like if you had done your questing a couple missions later, your time wouldn't be wasted.

Imagine if you're watching the Mandalorian and part way through an episode you have to go the bathroom. Instead of just pausing the show to go to the bathroom, the Mando turns to the camera and goes "If anyone wants to go the bathroom, go now, I'll do nothing for the next 7 minutes aside from stand here and polish my guns or something". While that is generous, it wouldn't really be a fun or efficient idea. And if it did do that, most people would probably fast forward through it every time it happens because they don't have to go the bathroom at that moment. It's the same with video games, if I want to take a break to go do side quests, I'll do it anyway. I don't need the game to force me to do them. Plus if I do them early, I should be set for the rest of the game.

Now, I understand this is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. The time wasted in doing these waits isn't so long. But regardless, are there ways to compromise so you maintain the positives while minimizing the negatives.

Solution 1: The Cyberpunk approach (ironically).

Cyberpunk has a solution for this. Some quests that ask you wait have a marker at the mission start area where V will sit and wait at and the next quest will start automatically. As an added bonus, it also adjusts the setting depending on the quest (like spawning NPCs and cars that are required for the quest). This helps because it maintains the appearance that time has to pass while still letting the player play on.

Solution 2: The Batman Arkham Knight Approach.

In Batman Arkham Knight, instead of asking the player to wait at certain points, the game just goes "Master Bruce, things have gotten quiet for now, you can use the time to go do side quests or keep investigating the Arkham Knight/Scarecrow i.e the Main Quest". The beneifit here is that it tells you the story is taking a lull for a short while but still gives the player full agency in what they have to do without wasting any time whatsoever.

But if we must have some waiting, there is one option:

Solution 3: The GTA V approach.

In GTA V, quests for heist prep activate after a while with a text message. But normally you have other quests also active or given to you at the same time so you always have something to while you wait. The smaller number of timed quests given at specific times also mean there is way less of a chance the player has nothing to do but wait even if they do all the side content first. Personally, I'm still not fond of this because it means I have to step away from the heist missions I'm so interested in.

So what are your thoughts?

[lifewithoutmeds]

june 29, 2023

thursday, 7:34 p.m.

as usual, upon writing, i’m feeling minimally better today than i have probably been for at least the past 10 days.

i’ve been stuck in a cycle of getting out of bed late, watching dumb youtube videos, reading dumb facebook posts, and eyes just pretty much glued to my phone every waking hour of everyday. i’m looking at weird stuff too, outside of my normal healthy stuff. i’m watching police body cam video of people behaving badly and the police actually having a lot more patience than the average person, and i’m reading a lot of AITA and “Entitled Karen” posts on facebook which are usually just a bad, ad-ridden collection of reddit posts with poorly written commentary and unnecessary summary surrounding it. typically halfway through or so, before i get to the clickbait story i had initially seen that had drawn me in, the whole website crashes and i have to go back to facebook and scroll through until the next thing catches my eye. i watch/listen to youtube until i fall asleep, then sleep for anywhere between 8 and 13 hours, depending on what i’m required to do the next day. last friday i slept for 13 hours. last “night” i fell asleep before 6:30 p.m. 

it’s a weird sensation. there’s nothing in the day really to look forward to or that gives me much joy or hope. sleeping seems like the best course of action. i struggle to do simple things like take out the trash/recycling, wash the dishes. i’ve been only showering maybe once a week and even getting the mail seems cumbersome.

work is rough. i have no problem sitting at the dining table, but tearing my eyes away from the phone even for a few minutes is difficult. i sit, uncomfortably for hours on end, but get very little done. i respond to most emails but have difficult doing the work or research that they entail.

i’m not eating well, i’m not exercising, i don’t have a lot of plans for the future or goals that i can think of. everything seems quite wearisome. there may have been one day in the past week where i went outside for a morning walk, but otherwise it’s felt too hard to do so.

however, it seems the days in which i have the strength/motivation/wherewithal to journal, those are relatively good days and not representative of all of the days in between.

the last couple weeks in review: monday, june 19: had dinner with my mom at a very expensive but extremely mediocre sushi restaurant off of foothill in la crescenta next to a car wash. i should have known. we then went to the burbank AMC to watch Past Lives, and got some Pinkberry frozen yogurt in between. the movie wasn’t great, but also learning that my mom had gotten dangerously close to hanging herself at the sylmar house closet while living with my dad was extremely upsetting and triggering. i spent days ruminating over that as well as my dad’s behavior the past 40 years and wondering whether i should just cut ties with him completely. tuesday, june 20: amy ended up canceling for lunch, as she had meetings come up. wednesday, june 21: grabbed a drink with gyoon after work downtown at the arts district brewery before meeting esther and her sister for dinner at the nearby Taberu. dinner was ok, then we got a few drinks afterward at Propoganda. i tried to be in good spirits but was really struggling mentally to keep it together. friday, RDO: slept an unhealthy amount. 13 hours, beating my old record of 12 hours. saturday, june 24: spent the entire day cleaning and preparing for at home kbbq dinner with tracy and her wife. also taught and played a few games of monopoly deal. also briefly saw amy and her daughter on their way home from their visit to see jenny. tuesday, june 27: in office. wednesday, june 28: WFH plus psychiatrist zoom appointment in which i updated her on my medication side effects, namely: a decrease in itching/rash and sobbing, and an increase in sleepiness, irritability, random irrational pain in my foot, and rumination. she seemed pleased that the itching/rash had gone away and starting today i increased my dosage from 25 mg to 50 mg. unfortunately, the effective dose is 200 mg and i can only ramp up 50 mg at a time and side effects can onset at every dose increase so i could anticipate two more months of despair and side effects before feeling any better. looking ahead: friday: will be hosting xio and matt for kbbq dinner. will need to clean and buy groceries. will be good to see them, but i know they’ve been struggling physically (xio) and mentally (matt) so i’m a little nervous that we’re all so sad but maybe it’ll be ok. saturday: celebrating zoe’s bday at lana’s place. taco guy will start at 12:30 p.m. but i’ve been asked to come earlier, around 9am to come help. also to bring my Yeti. looking forward to seeing people and getting out of the house. sunday: church with mom. tuesday, july 4: will go hang out with Rhiannon as we both have no other friends and no other plans. friday, july 7: will hang out with stephen, who i haven’t seen in years. saturday, july 8: quasi-monthly brunch with amy (lee)

my life feels stagnant and without hope or joy, but i suppose a tiny minuscule part of me wants to live as it keeps texting people stupidly and making plans that i have trouble keeping up with at times.

  random journal prompt: what is a unique talent that you have?

so i had to scroll through like 20 prompts before i could find something that i thought i could think of a response. i think i’m good at explaining things without making people feel bad. i think i’m a fairly good teacher and i think i do it in a way that feels genuine and well-intentioned and non judgmental. i’m thinking recently of how i taught tracy how to surf fish and tracy and her wife how to play Monopoly Deal. i don’t really get frustrated with explaining and re-explaining as necessary, and it’s so important to me that they don’t struggle and have a good time, that i think i check in a lot with them, for understanding, for their feeling. i think i’m good at not pushing things onto others if i sense they’re not feeling up to it. i think i create a non-threatening environment, and i think i’ve been able to teach and share my interests with a lot of people in that way, mainly with fishing and monopoly deal. i try to make sure people have a good time. i think that’s a good thing.

[baecvlt]

Stalker Nagito Komaeda x Milf!Reader

this was requested via my twitter:

“Hey! i’ve seen your works and I’m in love. Can I request smut where a stalker Nagito Komaeda becomes obsessed with a milf reader who moves into the neighborhood who’s like a dom in bed and ya know just large bust and taller than him. Thank youuu🤍”

a/n: ofc. but I have my own idea of a dom which i’ll use involving certain things (heed warnings)

warnings: he is so obviously a virgin in this, degradation, slight masochism, asphyxiation, spit, also Nagito calls the reader mommy (side note: nagito is in his early 20s in this, he lives alone. age of reader isn’t specified BUT I say she’s in her late 20s/early 30s)

• • •

It was a bright day...which Nagito despised. It was summer. He hated the sun, hated the mosquitoes, and the unnecessary humidity. It was days like these he wishes he was back at his university dorm. The A/C, the tall tree covering his window and blocking the sun...it was perfect. Hell, he didn’t even hate classes. Yet, he couldn’t live in the dorms forever. When it came time to buy a home, he stupidly did so in fall, moved in during the winter.

Well, no shit the home seemed perfect then. It wasn’t fucking summer. His A/C decided to break, his windows has a great view of the sun, and most of his friends were out of town (all except Hajime, but Hajime is fucking boring and a bummer). Nagito sat on his couch, watching reruns of old tv shows. He took a sip from his nearby glass (cold water), suddenly hearing sounds of what appeared to be a loading van. He looked outside his window.

A moving van?

Right, that one old man who lived there passed away. Freak accident, by the way. Oh well, may he rest in peace. Meanwhile, Nagito was being himself and trying to see who it was. Pretty much, the dude was being nosy. He saw another car pull up. That must’ve been the family’s car. Out jumped 3 kids, what appeared to be 2 girls and 1 boy. An adult stepped out. Nagito decided he’d get a better look at the situation. He put on his shirt, black jeans, and his green hood.

He was “going for a walk”.

Without being noticed, he made his way to the other side of the street. It was a woman, she was taking boxes out of the truck. The minute Nagito saw her it was if he was stricken by Cupid’s arrow. She was tall and beautiful. Her skin complimented her hair and her legs, he couldn’t take his eyes off them. Her breasts...he needed to stop—

“Hi!”

She was in front of him, a warm and inviting smile on her face. “H-Hi,” he muttered. She didn’t hear him well, so it helped that he waved. “I’m new in the neighborhood. We just moved in,” she added, putting the box down. She stuck her hand out, going for a handshake. He shook her hand, her warm hand against his cold ones. Why are his hands always cold? “I see,” he responded, getting his shit together,“I’m Nagito Komaeda. I live across the street”. She introduced herself and complimented his house.

“What a lovely home. I hope the neighborhood is just as lovely”

“It should be. It’s pretty quiet. There’s not many families here. Say, can I help you pack?”

“You’re too sweet! I’d really appreciate it”

He helped take all the boxes in her home, helping load a couch too, and help with other large objects. They finished in 9 hours, taking a majority of the day. “Thanks for helping out, Nagito”. She made a lemonade, handing him a glass.

“Don’t mention it! Also, thank you”

One of the kids ran in the living room where they sat on the couch. He gasped when he saw Nagito. “Mommy! That man looks dead!!!”. Nagito smiled, but his mom was not amused. “Michael! Apologize..”. The kid kept smiling and said,“Sorry!”. He ran to another room. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. Nagito shook his head.

“Hey, I’m rather malnourished”

“Ha. On an unrelated topic, are you hungry? I could make us something”

“Oh, I shouldn’t linger any longer. I wouldn’t want to disturb your husband”

She laughed. “I know you mean no harm, but I’m not married,” she added. “Oh,” Nagito muttered,“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it in any way”. She shook her head and reassured him it was fine. “Sit, Nagito,” she pulled out a chair,“I’m not letting you refuse having dinner with us. Especially since you were such help”. She rubbed his back before heading back into the kitchen to begin cooking.

She made him a bowl of pasta, adding chicken on the side. Nagito was quite happy. He hadn’t eaten a good meal in so long. Her kids didn’t eat at the table, but on the counter. Meanwhile, she ate with Nagito. Just as Nagito thought he couldn’t grow fonder of her, he did just that. All she did was let him talk about himself.

“Jesus, I’m sorry about your parents? How are you keeping yourself afloat with university and expenses?”

“Academic scholarships”

“Wow, you’re such a smart boy”

The way she phrased it made him flustered. “Thank you for the meal, ma’am,” he muttered,“I haven’t eaten like this in who knows how long”. She smiled tenderly, picking up his empty plate. “Seconds?”. He shook his head.

“No, thank you. I’m already so full”

“I’m glad. You know, there’s always a meal for you in store if you can do me a favor”

“What’s that?”

“My oldest daughter has her final test this week. You think you can help her study? I’ll make you a nice, warm meal every time you come over”

Nagito thought about it. He would also have time around her. Plus, she wasn’t a bad cook. “Of course, I look forward to it,” he told her. “Lovely”. He got up and excused himself to go home. “It was nice having you over, Nagito,” she said softly. He could tell she was getting sleepy. When people are tired, Nagito has noticed that their tone is rather sheepish. She walked him to the door, ruffling his hair playfully and he blushed. “Goodnight, neighbor”.

“Goodnight, you”

Before he left, she stopped him and handed him a paper: (xxx) xxx-xxxx ♡

“Call me when you get home so I have your number saved. Then, I can call you when my daughter, Vanessa, needs help. Take care, okay?”

He nodded.

She closed the door, his thoughts racing on his way home. He picked up some things about her, things she didn’t even tell him. He went home and opened a notebook, writing all of it down. He called her and she answered, her voice as sweet as when he left (only sleepier). “Hello?”. His breath was heavy without realizing it as he spoke. “H-Hey, you told me to call you,” he breathed,“It’s Nagito...Komaeda”

“Oh, hey, angel! I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“What? No, it’s all good— why’d you think so?”

“You sound like you need to catch your breath, but anyway, thanks for calling me. I’ve saved your number now”

“Oh, great! Well, if that’s all, I’ll let you go to bed now”

“It was. Goodnight, Nagito”

“G-Goodnight”

He hung up, flustered more than ever as he continued to jot down his thoughts on paper. The next day, he woke up at 6am to wait in his car. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. At around 7:41am, his front neighbor and kids headed for their car. Nagito, who had taken a light nap in the driver’s seat, was awoken by the car starting. He waited for the car to drive away just slightly past his house to start his own car, slowly tailing behind her.

He dropped her kids off at the nearby elementary. She got off, kissed them on their forehead (all minus the eldest, who walked swiftly through the gates). Seeing how she cared for them made Nagito feel bad, but all he did was brush that feeling off. Next, he followed her through her daily. As he did, his notes from last night echoed through his mind, adding new detail.

“She works at an office not everyday She doesn’t have allergies but is sensitive to dust Red seems to be her favorite color but always in a darker shade Her daughter is around 10 years old She isn’t vegan but enjoys almond milk Maybe has an issues with abandonment but I can’t assume that either She buys many apples but not the same amount of bananas at the store so maybe she only eats the bananas—”

Just more to add to his notebook.

He got home before she did, writing down what he had learned. His phone rang about an hour later of him getting home. He picked it up,“Hello?”. “Nagito, hi!”. It was her. He started having a mini-panic attack, because why would she be calling him? “H-Hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright. I was wondering if you could come over and tutor Vanessa”

Oh, thank god.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be down there right now”

“Great. See you then!”

He was relieved, heading to her home happily. He knocked on the door. When she opened it, she did so with the same warm smile as yesterday. “Thank you for coming over,” she said,“She’s in her room”. Nagito nodded, freezing when she grabbed his hand and took him to the room. Her touch was so soft, noted. They got to the room, where a girl was reading a book on a desk. “Nessa?”. The girl turned around.

“Nagito is going to be here for a few hours to help you out with homework and studying. He’s really smart, so pay attention and be respectful”

“Okay, mom”

She nodded, squeezing Nagito’s shoulder before leaving. Nagito approached the girl, she took her things out. Before he could speak, she stopped him. “Please don’t call me ‘Nessa’,” she whispered,“It’s bad enough my mom does, but not you, Please”.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on referring to you at all”

“Bastard”

“Nessa”

“I guess I walked right into that one”

Nagito laughed, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her. Her work wasn’t what he expected. Is this what they’re teaching kids now? He could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen this type of stuff until he hit middle school. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t do, but damn. All in all, tutoring went well. Vanessa actually learned something today. “Good job!,” he said. “Thank you,” she smiled and hugged him,“I felt so stupid”.

“Hey, its okay not to understand things”

Her mom walked in. “Dinner’s ready”. Vanessa got up and went to the kitchen. “How’d it go?,” she asked Nagito. “Went well, she gets the math now,” he answered. She smiled, thanking him for his help and asking him to join them for dinner. He’d be foolish not to, so he accepted the invite.

Fish tacos were served tonight with rice and beans, another lemonade made. It was different than anything Nagito had ever had, but that doesn’t equate to bad. He actually enjoyed the meal. The kids sat at the main table today, much more respectful than yesterday. “Michael how was school?”. He put a thumbs up, getting back to eating. “And Adrianna?”. She looked up from her meal and shrugged. “What’s wrong?”.

“I’m tired, but class was okay”

“Oh, okay. When you’re done, just take a quick shower and get to bed”

“Thanks”

Nagito thought it was endearing. Seeing how understanding and loving she was, it was refreshing. The kids all eventually left, Nagito finishing his meal. “Did you like it?”. He looked at her, nodding. “Great! Seconds?”.

“Full again. I don’t usually eat, but your food is always so good”

“Oh, you’re just saying things...”

“No, really! Thank you”

He said his goodbyes to the family, walking back home. It was as if he was falling for this woman more and more everyday. He went to sleep, this time dreaming of her. He never dreams, but this time he dreamt she was on her knees for him. Then, nothing else. It was as if his dream teased him.

The next morning, he woke up to some knocking on the door. He looked at the time. 8:23am. He put on a pair of jeans and his shirt, walking to his door. He opened it and there she stood, wearing a black dress and red heels. He assumed she had work and needed a favor before going. “Good morning,” he said.

“Were you following me yesterday?”

Shit.

“I, uh...,” he didn’t know what to answer. He was indeed following her yesterday. He also liked her, so if he straight up said that he was to following her, it’d ruin things. His face was glowing a shade of pink to a slight red as he thought of the right answer. He was still stumbling over his words. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she added. The fuck? “Huh?”. She pushed him inside the house, closing and locking the door behind him. “When a boy follows someone around, it’s because he wants something,” she added, but her tone was so sultry,“Well, Nagito—”. She pushed him onto the couch, leaning in front of him with her hands on his chest.

“—What do you want?”

None of what was happening felt real. Nagito couldn’t find the words to express what exactly he wanted. This was the first time he’d ever been in a situation like this, it wasn’t a bad one either. He began to panic when she straddled him. “Could it be that you wanted me?,” she asked. He frantically nodded and she laughed as she locked her lips with his. He gasped against her lips, kissing back. She slowly trailed her kisses down to his neck, cupping his jaw while grinding on his lap. Nagito moaned, his shaky hands grabbing her ass. She grabbed his hands and put them away from her. “It’s cute that you’re getting this carried away”.

“I’m sorry”

“No time to apologize. Get on your knees for mommy”

Nagito was about to lose his mind when she said that, but he obeyed. Her presence was domineering as he stood on his knees against his carpeted floor. She spread her legs, noticing Nagito desperately trying to get a look. Her red heel stopped him, stepping on his head lightly. “Am I teasing you?,” she asked,“It’s okay to be honest”.

“Y-You are, but its okay. I want to be teased by you”

“You’re adorable,” she took her heel off his head,“Let’s go to your room”.

He practically ran to his bed. He sat and waited patiently. She entered the room, heading to his bed. She began to take off his shirt, admiring his frame. She then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He kicked them off and sat down. She sat next to him. “Give me your hands”. She held them, frowning slightly. “Boo, they’re so cold,” she teased,“I’ll warm them up for you”. Carefully, she grabbed his left hand, putting his middle and ring finger in her mouth. She licked to his fingertips, leaving him tense and speechless. She stopped and smiled at him.

“This is your first time, isn’t it?”

He nodded shyly. “Don’t be shy,” she said,“I’m going to guide you, but I’m also going to have my fun”. He gulped, nodded. She stood up and removed her dress. She wore a lacy black bra and panties. She brought his hands to her breasts, allowing him to fondle them. They were huge in his hands. “You like them, baby?”. “Y-Yes,” he muttered,“Can you, uh, take....the bra off?”. He was ashamed when asking, he felt desperate. She smiled and nodded, unhooking it and allowing the bra to fall to the ground. He gasped at the sight of her tits, grabbing them. She straddled him.

“Do you know what to do with them?”

He nodded, rubbing one and sucking the other. She moaned sweetly, grinding on his lap. He popped his mouth off them. That was when she took the opportunity to knock him onto the bed. She began to make out with him, shoving his tongue down her throat. They lay sideways. Her hand was on his neck, slightly choking him. He couldn’t resist but try to grind on her lap. She laughed. “Look at you,” she mocked,“Humping my leg like a desperate little puppy”. She didn’t let him speak, sitting up and pushing him back down. “I’m going to give you what you want,” she whispered in his ear,“Take your cock out”.

He was nervous as he did, hands shaky. She blushed a bit at his size. “It’s so big,” she said, straddling him,“I’m going to have my way with it”. “Please, do what you want to me,” he begged,“Abuse me, please”. She didn’t speak, sinking down on it. Nagito gasped, she was extremely wet. She began to bring her hips up and land straight down on it, repeatedly. She put her hands around his throat, now being rougher. Nagito gasped for air, grabbing her hands.

That was a mistake.

“Hands down,” she ordered, striking him across the face. “Sorr-”. He was slapped once again. “Only speak when you’re spoken to”. He nodded as his stomach began to cave in. His cock twitched each time she slapped him, making her moan. She leaned forward, capturing his earlobe between her teeth. He winced, his hands tangling in the sheets. He felt as though his entire body was blushing.

“You’re so sensitive there”

She teased him, kissing the skin and nibbling. His hips involuntarily snapped upward, making her whine. “You’re so desperate, baby,” she laughed,“it’s so cute”. He could feel her warmth running along his cock. He bit into his hand, trying to stop himself from cumming inside her. It worked, but she didn’t like him doing that. She grabbed his hands and kissed them.

“Don’t hurt yourself, put them right here”

She placed them on her boobs. He watched them bounce up and down, grabbing them gently. His rather large hands seemed small on her tits. He was extremely flushed. He took them off her and placed them on her hips. “Open your mouth”. He lay back more and did as he was told. She leaned forward, grabbing his jaw again as she spit into it and kissed him. He moaned when she did, his urges getting the best to him and thrusting upward. He hit her cervix every time, causing her to produce the sweetest and sluttiest of moans. Her walls tightened around him and now he was whining. “Are you gonna cum, honeybun?,” she asked.

“Y-Yes..”

“Where do you wanna cum?”

“I wanna cum...everywhere. I want it. I want it so bad. I wanna cum inside and on your tits, on your ass, y-your face..mouth. Please let me cum, mommy”

She motivated him, riding him harder. “Come on, Nagito,” she whispered,“Cum for mommy. Cum all the way inside her”. He lost his mind after that, groaning as he shot his load(s) inside her. He was still inside her as he tried catching his breath. She rubbed his chest, shushing him. “Good boy, you did so well,” she cooed,“Such a good boy.” He was covering his face, embarrassed and still hard. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?,” she asked. He shook his head, thinking,“Not rough enough”. He whined when she got off, revealing he was still erect. She noticed.

“You wanna go again, baby? Kids don’t leave school till 2:30. We have time for an extra fuck”

“C-Can I?”

“Yes, dummy”

She let Nagito choose how to fuck her. He wanted missionary, mostly because he craved intimacy and she did not disappoint. She kissed and praised him, telling him he was good. She held onto him the whole time and cuddled him afterwards. Nagito felt so special, he felt loved. “I can come over when I don’t have work,” she said,“Would you like that?”.

“I’d love that actually”

“You make me happy, Nagito. I could stay here and cuddle all day”

“I feel so lucky”

He yawned, looking at the clock. “Its 10,” he told her. She nuzzled his chest, humming. “Mmmm, let’s take a small nap,” she whispered,“Okay?”. “Okay”. He kissed the top of her head and held her to him, slowly joining her in slumber.

[hudanordiny]

“Is this good for my soul?”

Allah SWT beautifully reminded us of this scene in the Quran when He said, "And remember when your Lord brought forth from the loins of the children of Adam their descendants and had them testify regarding themselves. Allah asked, "Am I not your Lord?" They replied, "Yes! You are! We testify." Now, this brings me to my second point: that soulmates truly exist! Have you ever met someone for the first time, but connected immediately and felt like you've met them somewhere before? Rasulullah SAW has alluded that this could mean your souls must have met and had been close in the Realm of Souls. If your souls were connected then, and your souls beautifully reunite again here in this Dunia, have full faith that this special and sacred bond would not cease to exist even with death. Because only in Islam are our connections truly forever and eternal, as the journey of our souls do not stop here in this Dunia. Our souls are all on a journey Home, back to Allah SWT, back to Jannatul Firdaus, (In Sha Allah, Amin) so if you've ever lost a loved one, take comfort and look forward to the epic reunion you will have with your loved ones in Paradise! But here's what I really want to share with all of you today in this letter - I want to urge all of us to help our souls out even more. We have to remember that our souls have travelled really far, and will continue travelling till they reach Home to Allah SWT, so we should strive to make their journey "easier" and "lighter" for them. How? 1) By not burdening them with heavy and unnecessary "baggage" like committing sins and having an unhealthy attachment to this Dunia. Our souls have to travel light and fuss-free, so be kind, avoid drama, forgive people, have care and concern, and just be decent human beings! 2) By not ignoring the directions that they are trying to give us so that they can stay on His path. Imagine having a GPS in your car, and no matter how clearly and firmly it is telling you to turn right, you turn left instead. This is essentially what happens when our souls are trying to tell us to do good and to stay close to Allah SWT because that is the right way, but we choose to ignore it and go completely in the other direction instead! No wonder we all feel "lost" when we are far from Allah SWT, because our souls have swerved from the right path. :/ 3) By feeding our souls with good stuff. Our souls need "fuel" to travel, and the only nourishment we should be feeding them is the highest quality of "soul food", i.e. prayers, zikir, acts of service, charity, seeking knowledge, and the list goes on! We should not be feeding them junk like entertainment, gossip, or things that brings no benefit to them. How can our souls travel far if it is running on empty or if it is only stuffed with trash?   4) By finding good soulmates who are also on the same path back to Him. The journey is long, but it should definitely not be lonely. Find friends or a wonderful community to keep your soul company because they will be your cheerleaders, guides, and lifejackets whenever the road gets tough. (*Enthusiastically waves at all my Champs on AA Plus!*) 5) And last but not least, by going back to Allah SWT consistently and constantly. I mentioned at the start of this letter that I don't know much about the Ruh and Allah SWT wisely pointed this out in the Quran when He said, "They ask you O Prophet about the Ruh. Say, "It's nature is known only to my Lord, and you O humanity have been given but little knowledge." What does this mean? If I want to help my soul out, I have to go back to the Creator of my Soul because He is the only One who has all knowledge of it, and He is the only One who can strengthen, purify, elevate, ease, sustain, protect and most of all, love, my soul. No one else can, but Allah SWT. Imagine having an iPhone and going to Samsung, Google or Nokia to get it fixed. Would they know what to do? Would they have the best materials and the best technicians to repair and recharge the iPhone? So why do we, as souls, foolishly go somewhere else other than Allah SWT, to be fixed?

Written by Aida Azlin, AA Tuesday Love Letter, 7 December 2021

[jordanr770-blog]

America Needs Some Talent

 I just needed someplace to write down my thoughts so here we are!

I have been watching America’s Got Talent since season 11 when the ukulele girl won. I personally didn’t vote for her but can understand why she won. Same goes for season 12. I was rooting super hard for Diavolo but can understand why puppet girl won. Season 13 had some of the best acts ever (Shin Lim-winner) and I know a lot of people disliked her, but Courtney Hadwin should have at least  gotten 5th place over sob story “I’m such a good person and I hit my wife” Michael Ketterer. Kodi Lee was the obvious winner of season 14 and I personally thought he deserved it over the other acts. Other people did not think it was well deserved, and that’s ok too.  

Last season we got a spoken word poet in the form of Brandon Leake. I did not enjoy the act AT ALL and was kind of mad that he won, but I will say that even though I did not enjoy him, spoken word poetry is indeed a talent.

Now, you may be thinking that season 16 would be a smidgeon of an improvement over season 15. Talent and reality shows should probably strive to become better every season. But if you thought this show isn’t capable of getting any worse, you haven’t been paying attention because this show will always find ways to disappoint. Last night we were told everyone voted for an INSPIRATIONAL speech giver as the winner. Or I’m sorry, apparently he does magic. His name is Dustin Tavella. But the thing is, he was HORRIBLE at both storytelling AND magic and nowhere near deserved the win. “It was well deserved.” How? How is a kindergarten level “magician” worth a million dollars and a Vegas show? I believe the show in Vegas is about an hour and a half and I am curious as to what is he going to do in that timeframe? Talk about how the folks living in Vegas are living in sin while simultaneously throwing paper in the air MAGICALLY? I’m sure the audience will go wild over that. Or maybe during all of his shows he will adopt a kid a day from different countries and then spend about an hour talking about Little ZimZam’s harsh life and while he’s babbling  he’ll be semi incorporating his poor magic skills into the act in the last minute so the poster stating he’s a magician didn’t TECHNICALLY lie so nobody is getting their money back. I really don’t know. I have a lot of thoughts. 

Plus, his sob story just did nothing for me whatsoever. Good for you for adapting 11 children, unless it has to do with whatever your act is, shut the hell up and do the trick! Not once did this guy impress  or give even the best of a performance of the night. It was always 8+ minutes of “inspiration” and tirades about how we as a society need to be good to one another whilst doing crappy magic. Let me tell you, I know next to nothing about magic but even I could tell he was a less than stellar magician. Even calling him a magician is somewhat laughable. In reality he's a motivational speaker who does terrible magic tricks and  who always somehow manages to suck at said terrible magic but America apparently doesn’t notice him screwing up his terrible magic because he’s too busy telling them to look at a crumpled up piece of paper or a ladder or the new photograph of his adopted son who has an extra eyeball or whatever. It’s stupid.

Last night for his final performance Dustin’s act was, and I kid you not, telling us all to be nice. FOR SEVEN UNNECESSARY MINUTES. And I do believe he started to fake cry. Dude, you’re acting is about as good as Heidi Klum’s. You can't act and you can barely do magic. Why are you here? What is your talent? Did he really join a talent show to become some type of inspirational God of obvious wisdom? If that’s the case, he should have gone and done a Ted Talk, many less victims of mediocrity that way. America somehow  put him in the top 5 with actually talented people? I think not. The act itself was not impressive and he did the same thing every time, just told a different sob story. If you have to rely on a sad story to win, you don’t deserve to win a show where talent is the main objective. 

In case my last few paragraphs were not made abundantly clear, I am not a fan of this dude. At all. I read a comment which stated that a message is not a talent and whoever said that is 100% correct and summed up my feelings pretty accurately. I'm not a fan or boring and basic tricks combined with even worse stories. He's the living embodiment of a motivational meme and anyone who voted for this guy is  gullible and can fight me. Maybe people “voted” for him because he attempted to pull on the heartstrings? But because I sold my heart long ago his act didn’t effect me as much. /s But I swear every year they make it more clear that the entire show is rigged. 

Well, maybe the voting ISN’T rigged entirely and all the boomers  (first time I’ve ever used that term) and antivaxxers and easily swayed by sob story people on Twitter and Facebook voted for him. Doubtful, but you never know. HE WAS SO FREAKING BAD!!!

We are all allowed to have opinions and just because you don’t agree with me that doesn’t mean I am an awful person who deserves DEATH. I keep getting responses and messages on Twitter from angry folk who are calling me heartless because I questioned WHY they voted for him. “Well, IIIII gave Dustin all 10 of my votes!” That’s nice Karen. That is also not an answer and I cannot stress enough how much I do not care that you voted for the phony used cars salesman. Go tell your Prince from Nigeria all about it. Another guy got mad and reported me for “yelling at strangers.” Which is kind of a typical thing people do on Twitter. And I wasn’t even yelling! Lol. 

And another point I’d like to make (about this and  in general) is people really need to stop using the terms “all of us” and the word “we.” I am my own person and you do not get to speak for me. 

“We were all crying when we saw him perform!” - No WE most certainly weren’t. I was seething with anger, yes. Crying? Not even close.

“His magic touched all of our hearts!” WHAT MAGIC? WHERE WAS THE MAGIC IN THIS MANS ENTIRE ACT? I MUST HAVE MISSED IT AFTER I PASSED OUT FROM HIS 7 MINUTE LONG STORY ABOUT HIS BORING LIFE. 

His win was a complete insult.

* I personally voted for Aidan Bryant, but I really wanted Unicircle Flow to win before they got kicked off due to the judges having a tendency to suck at picking during judges choice. *

Edit: I apologize if this wasn’t articulated very well or if it seems I basically said the same thing over and over. To be fair it was 3 am when I wrote this and I was still irritated and questioning everything. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that this guy was lame and doesn’t deserve a Vegas show. My mom told me earlier today that people on the Internet are mad about his win and that it’s not fair to take it out on the guy, which I suppose is kind of true. Not exactly his fault the general public has failed and shown their stupidity yet again. If anyone is to blame it is the people who actually voted for this doofus. And AGT. And yeah, I guess I will blame him as well. But I’m not saying go to his Twitter or Instagram or whatever and call him out for being a con artist and bully him. 

I think the MESSAGE =P I’m trying to display here  is that someone has no business being on a talent show unless they have talent; self explanatory. A message isn’t talent. Being a narcissist isn’t talent. Exploiting your kids and wife isn’t talent. Speaking can be a talent (comedy, that poetry guy, acting, improv, probably a lot of other stuff I’m forgetting about) but one shouldn’t call themselves a magician if one is really a way less cool garage sale version of Talky Tina. Magic IS talent but if you want a million dollars you better have skills that are on par or better than the professionals. 

[tipsydipsydo]

Poolside Kisses 🍹[M]

Pairing: Jimin x chubby! poc! Reader

Gender of the reader: female

Word Count: 5.6k

Genre: Fluff and Smut

Warnings: mentions of insecurities; Jiminie and his jealousy (but at the end of the fic they're talking about that); Jiminie is horny as fuck; swearing; petnames; filthy language + filthy dirty talk; praising; body-worship; teasing; edging; begging; marking; thigh-riding and thigh-fucking(?); a little bit dom-/sub-themes; a bit of spanking and pussy exhibitionism; semi-public sex (can you count fucking in your friend's house as semi-public sex?); creampie; unprotected sex (stay safe please!); mentions of aftercare

A/N: Finally, I wrote something for chubby! Readers and for poc! Reader as well. The moodboard was ready for weeks but the fic wasn't... And now it got longer than expected!

The texting with my dear @h0esvck inspired me again to write this fic here, after we talked about cute and sexy bikinis for chubby girls and how the boys could react to these swimsuits! (I really love that bikini in the moodboard💕)

Summary: Jimin said, you should pack a swimsuit into your suitcase when you're going to visit him in Korea. You thought, you'll go bathing somewhere privately, maybe just with the boys or so... and not going to a pool party of one of Jimin's Idol friends where you'll not know anybody! Since then you hate yourself that you only brought your new bikini to Korea that reveals more of your bare skin that you're used to...

Note: It's proofread but I'm sorry when there are still some typos

Links:

My Imagines for your requests

My official Masterlist

And as always, everyone can read the fic who's interested in it 🤗💖 Enjoy!

「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

Since ten minutes you've been staring at the bikini that is spread out on the bed in front of you. You try to come to a solution for the problem that has been bothering you since this morning.

When Jimin said a week ago that you should pack swimwear for your visit in Korea, you already had been a little suspicious and unsettled. 

But you couldn't imagine anything else than maybe going with him and the other members to a privately rented pool. Or maybe going to a beach with them, where nobody knows them anyway, so that they don't get too much unnecessary attention.

The boys already know and love you, so they don't care much about how you look like, as long as you're happy and make Jimin happy as well.

With these thoughts, you calmed yourself a little bit down and quickly drove your worries into the last corner of your mind.

That was also the reason why you were thinking about to try something new, instead of just wearing this boring black one-piece swimsuit that you've had for the last six years.

Maybe something cute, a nice two-pieced swimsuit, something like a bikini or so, that flatters your curves and just hugs them in all the right ways. Something that makes you feel sexy and attracts Jimin's attention a bit more than usual.

The thought alone how Jimin always strips you down with his eyes when you wear something close-fitting, which emphasizes your large chest, your round butt or your juicy thighs in the right ways...

...oh god, just the thought of it makes your knees weak and your panties getting wet.

But that's not the point, you have a lot of other problems right now.

At breakfast this morning, Jimin told you for what exactly you need your swimwear. And it's nothing like you thought before, a day at the beach or at the pool and only with the other guys, no.

The real reason is, that one of Jimin's Idol Friends has his birthday today and throw a poolparty in his villa.

That's not how you imagined it...

Of course you are happy that Jimin is not shy about introducing you to all his other friends in addition to the members and showing up with you in public places.

Nevertheless, you're aware that being chubby is not one of the "desirable" standards of the beauty ideals in Korea. Plus, you're a part of people that have a colored skin tone and all of you still have to face unfortunately prejudice and racism in all corners of the world.

That doesn't mean Koreans are racists or they are going to bodyshame someone, oh hell no! But... of course there are always such kinds of worries, like that you couldn't fulfill all the expectations of his friends, ARMYs or in general the whole publicity.

But that shouldn't be your goal either. Jimin loves you the way you are and everyone else should accept and respect you as his girlfriend and thus your relationship.

Nevertheless, a dull feeling spreads out in your stomach at the thought of having to wear this two-pieced bathing suit.

You really like it and you immeaditly fell in love with this bikini when you tried it on while the shopping trip with your friends. You think that it emphatize your curvy figure wonderfully, hides your fluffy belly in a great way and still shows more skin than you are used to.

And that's exactly the point.

You would show more skin than you're actually used to, so you'd walk completely out of your well known and loved comfort zone... and now even in front of strangers you don't know at all!

Everything in you is reluctant to wear this bikini to this party. You had also thought about going on a quick shopping tour into the town this morning. Hoping to find a one-piece swimsuit that can hide your belly a little better than this bikini. But you rejected the thought so fast like it had came into your mind.

You know Seoul far too little to know, where to find the plus size clothing stores. You know they exist! After all, you had been in these shops with Jimin on your recent visits, but you have absolutely no clue where to find them. So you quickly throw this idea into your mental trash can.

So you have no choice but to put on this swimsuit here.

You sigh and look at this two-pieced bathing suit in frustration again. Why the heck were you so stupid and didn't pack both swimsuits straight away in your suitcase, then you wouldn't have this problem now! But you have no other option than to wear it, you don't want to explain to Jimin that you don't want to come to the party because of your swimsuit. He was so happy this morning to finally be able to introduce you as his girlfriend to all his other friends.

You are about to put your dress on when Jimin knocks gently on your door, the door of the guest room (which you hardly really "need" because you sleep with him in his bed all nights anyway) and asks you through the door if you're ready.

You answer him with a hasty "Yes, just give me two more minutes!" and quickly stuff your towels, a pair of fresh underwear, sunblocker and other things that maybe could be useful, into your beach bag.

You slip with your bare, dark blue painted toenails into your sandals and before you walk out of the door, you quickly fix your sun hat and sunglasses as you walk past the large full-body mirror.

You are as ready as you can be when you're going to show yourself to strangers in a swimsuit that is more skin-revealing for your usual standards.

When you open the door and give Jimin, who is standing in the hall and is waiting for you, a small smile, a bright smile spreads on his lips.

His eyes wander slowly down at your body, you don't miss how he licks his lips, which leave you even little bit embarrassed.

But he also looks so damn good in this white t-shirt that he wears, under which you already can imagine his well-built abs, together with this black, low hanging shorts and a pair of black sneakers, made of thin fabric. His outfit is so casual, but at the same time it looks so elegant on him!

"Damn, baby... you look absolutely gorgeous! You look so fantastic, to be honest I don't want to show you the others in this amazing outfit... I bet with you, that they start gawking and drooling because you are so damn sexy. I really have to be careful not to get jealous and to behave decently, so that I don’t do all these dirty fantasies that I have with you in my mind in front of other people’s eyes... ", says Jimin in a half serious, half playful tone and with a meaningful look into your eyes.

"Jimin! Don't say such things, I thought we want to go to the party of your friend!", you reply with a slightly embarrassed smile and hit him with gentle force at his right arm. He's whining a little bit, rubbing the hurting spot after your punch.

"Yes, yes! But that doesn't mean you have to hit me right away!", Jimin whines as you walk down the hall of the dorm to the front door. Like the gentleman he is, he opens the door to the passenger seat of the car dir you and let you get in with a charming smile.

On the way to the party you chat around, laughs about God knows everything and sings together to the latest summer hits that comes out of the radio. Jimin with his angelic voice and then you with your voice, that reminds you more of a screaming cat than anything else. Your boyfriend admits that you still have to practice a bit on your singing talent, but he motivates you with every new song again to sing along with him. But your exuberant, lively mood gets an unwanted damper when you turn into a street and you can already see all the countless cars parked on the roadside from the distance.

Some, like you, just seem to have arrived only a few minutes ago. When you see all these other slim, long-legged beauties in their gorgeous summer dresses or already in their bikinis outfits with these fit bodies, you swallow hard and start chewing on your lower lip. Jimin doesn't miss that.

"Baby?"

"Hm?"

"You think too much, my love. Just look at yourself, you are beautiful! And show that too, show them all how damn attractive you are. They'll love you, I promise! And if anyone giving you a weird look, this person will get a serious problem with me! Okay Darling? I love you and everybody else should know too how much you mean to me... and don't let these silly thoughts in your pretty head up there ruin the evening, okay?"

You take a deep breath and finally nod to Jimin confidently.

He is right, you are probably thinking too negative again. You should also go to this party without the prejudice, that they already dislike you for whatever reason and just think positive and enjoy the day.

"Ready, Baby?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

With a cheeky wink in your direction, Jimin gets out of the car and is fast enough at your door to open it for you again.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you can't help but smile.

"Jimin, that's really cute of you, but you don't always have to do that. I'm a confident, independent woman, I'm able to open the door by myself too!", you complain but have to laugh at the end of the sentences.

"Then show them with exactly this body here, how confident you are, my dear lady~", Jimin replies with a husky wisper into your ear, which let a shiver run down your back. You are only able to nod at this moment, try not to be too flustered by Jimin's sex appeal. The same person is fully aware of his influence on you and laughs contentedly as you walk together to the front door.

When the doorbell rings, it is opened by other guests who tell you and use vague hand gestures to indicate where the person, who has birthday today and is the actual party host, could be. You two thanks them and slowly find your way down to the terrace, between all of the chatting, sometimes already dancing and celebrating peoples.

It seems like you'll don't know anyone, really nobody at this party. Sometimes you only recognize some K-Pop Idols here and some other K-Drama actors and actresses there, but you don't know anybody really personally, except of Jimin. 

That's why you hold his hand even more tightly, afraid of losing him in the crowd. His thumb draw gentle circles over the back of your hand, he can feel how tense you are, try his best to calm you down. 

You're going to be stopped on your actual way to Jimin's Friend by some other idols or international celebrities. You have a small talk with them and you'll be greeted every time with very much enthusiasm when Jimin introduces you as his girlfriend.

You don't really know how to deal with it, least of all with their detailed gaze your body. They don't say anything and their looks are not to be rated directly as negative one, much more in curious and interested way?

But before you can start to worry too much about it, the small talk is already over and Jimin continues to guide you through the crowd to the rightful host, who is in the huge garden behind the villa.

This person greets Jimin with a buddy slap on the shoulder and pulls you into a warm hug, which you had not expected at all. You automatically stiffen up, so that the same person lets you go immediately and apologizes hastily for his inappropriate behavior.

At the same time, you want to make it clear that he didn't do anything wrong and you were just a little surprised. Now you both look at each other in an awkward silence and that makes you twoa little embarrassed, which makes Jimin laugh.

"...and may I introduce to you, that is my girlfriend Y/N."

"H-Hey Y/N! Nice to meet you! Jimin has told me so much about you and every time that happens, I got more curious to finally meet you! And when he said, that you'll be in Seoul in the week when I planned to throw my birthday party, I asked him, to please bring you here, so that I can finally get to know you in person. And when you two just showed up with holding hands, I got carried away a bit. Sorry for my overexited hug. But to Jimin's credit I can already say, that he has an exellent taste for amazing girls, like you are.", he says and gives Jimin and you a playful wink.

At this moment, a waitress with wonderfully decorated cocktails on a tray comes past you and Jimin's friend stops this person with a small gesture to give you two a cocktail of your choice. You all thank the waitress before letting her continue her round through the crowd.

Now the host returns his attention to you again.

"I am really happy that you made it to my party and that you-" at that moment he's looking at you with a big smile "... and that you have also agreed to come here! I assume that unfortunately you don't know that many guests here yet. But I can assure you, nobody will bite you here. But if somebody chat you up or so, please inform me or to the security guards, okay? Some of my guests may starts acting like the last idiots when they're drunk, but I don't let them ruin my party." The way he looks at you completely seriously and at the same time gives you an encouraging smile shows you, that he really tries his best to make you feel comfortable here.

You talk for another ten minutes or so, Jimin's friend already makes you laugh here and there with some jokes, so that you pretty fast don't feel like the "new girlfriend of his buddy" anymore. It's his charm that calms you down and you relax more and more with it. You realize, that everything isn't as terrible as you thought it would be.

To your relief, you also realize that your horror imagination is not coming true. Nobody is gawking at you like you're an exotic animal in the zoo. Nobody behaves weird around you and you haven't noticed until now that anyone starts gossiping about you or your relationship with Jimin.

Only one thing seems to be important to everyone. A great atmosphere and thus an unforgettable evening.

You are so engrossed in the conversation that you wince in surprise when someone taps your shoulder gently. You turn around and there is a girl in front of you, already in a bikini and soaking wet. She seems to have come straight out of the pool to you.

"Hey! You're... Y/N, right? I just want to ask you if you would like to come into the pool and play water volleyball with us? We need one more female player for our team, we want to beat the boys!", she says and point into the direction of the pool, where the other players wave with their hands enthusiastically and want to encourage you to play along with them.

Nevertheless, you look back at Jimin, still a little bit uncertain. Your boyfriend gives you an encouraging kiss on the lips and says teasingly: "Don't look at me so questioningly, come along and show them your talent. You can give me your dress and bag."

Before you can decide against it, you quickly slip out of your sandals and pull your summer dress over your head. You already put the bikini on when you still was in the dorm.

The girl who asked you for the game enthusiastically claps her hands together and immediately grabs your wrist to lead you to the pool.

Only in the corner of your eyes you can see how Jimin's jaw drop at your sight and look at you in disbelief.

However, you don't have time to think about his reaction. You are barely in the water and on your official position when the game already starts.

To be honest, you never thought that this afternoon and evening could turn out to be so good and that you just could play with the other games so boisterously. That everyone just treats you as normal like you are and nobody cares how you look.

But you get the first doubts, that everything is not as good as you think, when you see Jimin on the poolside with a less happy expression on his face. You apologize to the others and tell them, that you have to go to your boyfriend for a minute.

"Jimin? Is everything alright? What happens?", you als him, eyebrows drawn together in alarm.

"Y/N, can you come out of the water, please? I need to talk to you," Jimin replies shortly, looking at you intently.

"O-Okay, of course."

When you're about to step out of the water, he already starts to unfold your bath towel. As soon as you get out of the pool, he has put it over your shoulders and gripped your wrist. Without saying a word, he starts moving and pulls you to the door of the terrace and goes back into the house with you. Everything looks like that Jimin wants to drive home from the party prematurely and hastily.

"Jimin? Now tell me, what happened that you seem to want to go home just... now?!", you finally ask him, finding his behavior really questionable.

Your boyfriend just mumbles something incomprehensible, looks around in the hallway until he sprints up the stairs to the first floor with you.

"Jimin, we just can't-"

But the last words of your sentence get stuck in your throat when Jimin seems to have found what he was looking for all the time. The guest room.

He briefly looks around again to make sure that no one has followed you and noticed something about your unauthorized solo-action. Then he grabs the doorknob and quickly pulls you into the room and closes the door behind you.

You just want to start protesting again and ask him for a plausible answer for his behavior. But then you're already being pushed against the door and Jimin's hungry lips are chasing yours. 

The kiss is intense and greedy right at the beginning, Jimin's tongue is demanding, doesn't give you any time to understand what's going on.

"Baby, how dare you! These things I said to you when you came out of the guest room in this beautiful and sexy summer dress, I meant them absolutely seriously. How dare you, despite of my warning, to tease me so fucking much?! Then you don't have to be surprised that I can't hold back anymore. And besides that...", growls Jimin in a husky voice between two kisses in your ear.

"...I hate it how all the boys just looked at you all the time. They're speculating whether you were already in a relationship and how they could flirt with you... don't you understand that every guy down there wants you because you're so damn sexy?"

"Wait what, Jimin? I-I don't understand..." you stammer helplessly, your mind is already clouded by these breathtaking kisses Jimin gave you.

Jimin takes a deep breath, acting like he's trying to calm himself down.

"Your bikini, Babygirl. With this damn bikini you drive me crazy and wrap every guy around your little finger without even noticing. Seeing you in such an outfit is a real sin, Baby...", he whispers in your ear. 

Let the tip of his nose slide down your neck, inhale your scent, which has such an aphrodisiac effect on him. His hands find their way from your chubby cheeks down to your plush hips and grabs them firmly.

"Fuck, you're so sexy... I love you and your body so damn much that it hurts... I mean... literally!", he growls and rubs his already rock hard erection on your thick thigh.

"You look so damn sexy in this swimsuit and pretend that you have no idea what effect you have on me... and unfortunately also on these other guys down there... it's a shame! I think, I should show you what kind of indecent thoughts you've put in my head with this body, only covered by this little bit of fabric.", comes it panting from Jimin's lips.

He lets the wet towel drop from your shoulders onto the floor and steps a bit away from you to admire your whole beauty to the fullest. A shiver of desire runs down your spine, causing that something, that is all too familiar to you, starts growing in your abdomen. You start to squirm under his intense gaze.

"I'm really wondering who can be responsible for designing such a cute and at the same time so sexy swimsuit. And fuck. It looks incredibly good on you! How can you always wrapping me around your little finger? Hm Baby? Explain it to me...", purrs Jimin dreamily as he lets his hands wander on your big, perfect round ass and grabs it hard.

A whimper leaves your lips whe you feel his mouth on your neck, spreading kisses and is eager to give you enough hickey that everyone will surely see them. Just knowing that he marking you as his, as his girlfriend, makes your pussy even wetter than it already is.

"Don't tell me you're jealous, Jiminie~", you say teasingly, but at the same time you start moaning with closed eyes and furrowed eyebrows. He positions his right leg between your juicy thighs, flexes his thick thigh muscle just at the right moment and rubs it over your clit. Mastering thigh-fucking in a standing position so fucking well should be prohibited.

"Would you rather explain to me how I couldn't get horny and jealous at such a sight... and Baby? Do you like that? Do you like it how I fuck you with my thigh? How well I can stimulate your clit with it? I already can feel how wet you are... isn't that embarrassing for you, how desperate your pussy has become, just from grinding a little bit on my thigh?", he whispers. He doesn't even try to hide his satisfaction.

His words send an electric shock through your body... just the thought that you really look as good in the bikini as you hoped, so that Jimin can think of nothing more than to do dirty things with you. And then other guys also have noticed you, which has made Jimin so jealous, turns you more on at this moment than you would like to admit. You didn't want to make him jealous at all, but fuck... that's just so freaking hot and you could say your "plan" has more than worked out!

His hand travels to your breasts, pulls with a rough yank the top of your bikini over your breasts, a moan are leaving his lips when he see your big, beautiful breasts. Your nipples are already hard and are just waiting to be caressed.

"F-Fuck... Jimin... G-God... I-I need you!", you whimper as he wraps his lips around your left nipple. You grind in his thigh even more, at the end you start riding him.

"So damn desperate... but only for me. Right?"

"Yes, Jimin, yes! O-Only for you. B-But please, I-"

"Hm? What, Babygirl? What do you want? What are you so desperate for, my Dear? Tell me~"

Jimin loves to tease you. He doesn't give you what you need until you spell the dirty words out by yourself. He loves the way you get shy, always starting to stutter in a damn adorable way until those dirty words come over your own lips. He loves it when his good, decent girl says indecent and sinful things. He loves it when you talk dirty to him. 

"I-I want your big hard cock in my wet pussy... I-I... Oh god, Jimin... P-Please just fuck me... Please just fuck me like you already imagined...", you whine and bite your lower lip because of all this desire and need in your body. You need his cock in your pussy now. 

"Theoretically, you teased me a lot more with this godlike body, right? But we don't have the time for more teasing, I'll stuff your plump, pretty and sweet pussy with my big cock now and gonna fuck you so damn well~ Just look forward to the moment we're back home again... then you will get your well deserved punishment for making me so horny with this sinful outfit.", Jimin promised to you with a dark, lustful gaze.

With his hands on your delicious ass, he leads you from the door to the bed, which is placed on the opposite wall of the room.

"On your hands and feet, I want to fuck your naughty pussy nice and deep from behind. And you know how I loves it, to see your ass cheeks jiggle when I fuck you doggystyle~"

Oh God, now it can't be ans longer just water, that drips through the bottom of your panties onto the floor. Even if you don't want to admit it, his dirty talk and dominant behavior always makes a mess out of you.

In a matter of seconds, you turned your back to him and crawled onto the bed on all fours. For a very short moment you're sorry to ruin the neatly made bed with your still dripping body and the unrestrained sex, that will follow now. 

As soon as you have brought yourself into a comfortable and "stable" position, Jimin pulls your bikini panties down with an impatient tug. You moan in anticipation when you feel the cold air on your bare cunt, even starts to wiggle with your ass a bit more, knowing what kind of effect it has on Jimin.

A deep growl leaves his throat when he sees your plump, fluffy pussy lips are coated all over with your arousal. The way your thick ass cheeks jiggle causes that he gives you a hard slap on the your right butt cheek, what makes you whimper.

"Behave, little Girl.", he says quietly from behind with a warning undertone. 

But he doesn't fill your needy pussy immediately, he prefers to pull your ass cheeks apart at first, to have a much better view of your cunt. When he spreads your pussy lips with his index and middle finger open and sees your desperately waiting hole, clenching around nothing. Then he also lost his patience.

With uncoordinated movements of his hands, he pulls his shorts and boxers briefs down to his knees, grabs your hips with a firm grip and push himself into your tight pussy without any warning.

A little cry out of surprise and initial pain comes over your lips, but then you remember that you're having sex in a place where you shouldn't (especially not at this early hour!) and pressing your hands on your mouth quickly.

That’s better anyway. When Jimin fucks you hard, there are always noises coming out of your mouth that you never heard before from yourself.

In short: When Jimin fucks you hard, you're loud. Shamefully loud.

Your boyfriend doesn't give you much time to get used to his cock. But after these days you barely need to get used to it anyway, you have been doing it too often for the past few nights.

His thrusts are perfect, absolutely perfect... hard, fast and incredibly deep. Stretching your pussy just in the right way in all perfect places. And the more you can't hold up yourself on your arms because of the pleasure, the more you sag with your upper body onto the mattress.

This changes the angle even more and Jimin fills you up even deeper than before, finding that sweet spot in your body again. That spot that lets you see stars and the desire almost explodes deep inside your abdomen. But only almost.

This here is the best method for Jimin to torture you. Driving you to the edge of lust, but it's still not enough to let you cum.

Jimin loves this sight. 

He loves how your chubby body just shows him how well he fucks you. How the soft, plush flesh of your love handles or your ass cheeks jiggle with every hard thrust that his hips gives your plush body. 

How plump your pussy lips are, but how fucking tight your hole is, gripping his hard cock so damn well. He loves to places his palm between your thick thighs on your fluffy vulva, so soft because of that delicous extra flesh and toying your clit to elict even more sweet moans and whimpers from your lips.

"O-Oh my God, Jimin! P-Please don't stop, oh god, please don't stop fucking me and rubbing my clit like that! I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna c-cuu-", you moan, scream at the end, but you just can't stop yourself from being fucking loud.

And to be honest, Jimin doesn't want you to mute your voice. Deep inside of him, his little, dirty devil wants everyone down there to know that he's fucking you onto cloud nine.

When you cum, your walls contract so tightly, Jimin can't help but cum too, your pussy literally milks every drop of his cum out of his cock.

With a deep groan shoot Jimin his load deep into your pussy, mark you in the filthiest way possible as his girl.

You two are breathing heavily and have your eyes closed, Jimin lies himself down on your back. His hands slowly relax from the rigid grip on your hip, then he wraps his arms around your soft belly and lets himself fall to one side together with you, before he becomes too heavy for you.

In the following minutes your breath regulates themself and a certain silence gradually returns to the room. Only the dull bass of the music from outside breaks the silence, accompanied by laughter when someone jumps into the pool, screaming.

Jimin has softened and now slides out of you easily. You can feel the mattress sink under his weight as he gets up and goes into the guest bathroom to get a soft, wet washcloth for you. 

He quietly asks you to turn yourself on your back. He gently opens your legs and carefully cleans the mess between your thighs, trying his best to get you rid of his cum. After all, you want to stay a few more hours after this... Quickie? Can you call his here a Quickie?

It takes a moment for you both to straighten your clothes and hair so that no one can immediately see that you had wild sex less than 15 minutes ago.

Jimin is about to unlock the door when you grab his wrist.

"Jimin, let's be honest. No more strange jealousy actions today, okay?"

Jimin turns to you, looks at you thoughtfully until a cute smirk forms on his lips.

"Jealousy? I don't know that word, not anymore after I've marked your beautiful neck and chest all in detail. Now everyone will know that you're my girl!", says Jimin and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek.

You roll with your eyes and look back at him, pretty annoyed. 

"Jimin!"

"Yes, yes, Honey. I know... I know that I have to work on my jealousy problem...", Jimin says in a reassuring voice and looks at you seriously, showing you, that he understood what you mean.

"... but still you can't deny that you like it when I give you hickeys. When I visited you last time, I saw you proudly and satisfied admired my love bites in the mirror!", he reply with a mischievous and playful smirk.

"Oh god Jimin, you're going to shatter my last nerves!", you grumble and shoo him through the door.

You hate it that you can barely be mad at him over a longer time!

[orbitariums]

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡.𝟏𝟑 𝐒𝐍𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟏𝟑)

hence the title! this is a sneak peek/snippet of chapter 13 which has been in the works for a while and i just haven’t updated!!! but i’ve been so inactive on here, i figured i could at least share a snippet. plus i missed yall :’))))

no telling when ch. 13 will actually be done/out! but i hope y’all like this lil sneak peeeeek <333

words: 3.6k 

warnings: smut!

playlist *updated recently, go check it out!*

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐭/𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐤 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

       You woke up to the feeling of Steve’s body heat against yours, the flimsy fabric of his sheer white t-shirt bristling against your bare skin. He was laying next to you, a book open in his lap and a pencil in his hand. You weren’t quite paying attention, still settling into the day as the blur in front of your eyes slowly disappeared. Memories of last night flooded your mind fondly— Steve’s soft touch against your thighs as he carried you in from the car into the bed, the thought of someone caring so much to even do that for you, the plush feeling of his pink lips against yours. 

       You felt your heart swelling just to think of it, so pleased by the events of yesterday and last night especially. You felt like everything was just right at the moment. Before, some part of your brain was afraid that since things were going so well, something would inevitably go wrong later on, but you were past that fear stage. Now, you were just settling into enjoying the good moments and expecting nothing but good to come next.

      Since yesterday, especially after the grand afternoon you’d had, and the way Steve treated you carrying you into his apartment, there had been a shift. It was almost imperceptible aside from the way your heart seemed to surge even higher when you were around each other. Yesterday had been such a relief once you both met Bucky and cleared that up. Any unnecessary fear or anxieties that would’ve stemmed from that dilemma were removed. 

        And now you felt so drawn to Steve, so inclined to trust him impossibly further— again your mind ran back to thoughts about his touch on your thighs as he carried you inside, his soft but strong hands against your smooth skin. And you thought about how you wanted his touch all the time. You’d been physically close multiple times, but only once in the intimate sense, and you were yearning for more of his touch. Though you both wanted to go slow, you found each other irresistible in every sense of the word. And you only had two weeks together—why not get closer? 

Steve noticed you shifting, and looked over at you, the side of his lip quirked up into a grin. You stretched out like a cat below him, batting your lashes inadvertently. 

       “Morning, sleeping beauty,” Steve teased, and you chuckled. 

You were still getting comfortable with each other, but it was easier with each and every day. The more time you spent together, the more you felt used to each other, like waking up next to the other was the norm. The thrill wasn’t gone, but the atmosphere was comfortable at the very least. 

       “Morning,” you said back. 

You snuggled into his shoulder, hesitating a bit in case he wanted personal space, although you were craving an even closer proximity to him. But he squeezed you in closer to him, sensing your hesitation and reassuring you that there was no reason for pause. You noted how much you loved to be near him. The last few days had felt so unreal, almost childish in nature, like a silly little schoolgirl crush that wasn’t anything more, though you both knew you had strong feelings for each other. Yet now, you were sinking into the realization that being near him felt like being near a source of warmth and light that you were so grateful for— you needed it. And he needed the warmth you gave him too. 

Your eyes widened as you realized Steve was drawing in his sketchbook.

       “You’re drawing?” you grinned excitedly, and he laughed sheepishly and shook his head. 

      “Yeah. Haven’t done it in a while, it’s just random sketching… it’s a mess, honestly,” he brushed it off, but you frowned.

      “I like it. I like your random sketches. You should do it more often,” you tilted your head up and kissed his cheek, another leap of courage that made Steve’s cheeks heat up, along with your words of encouragement. 

     “Maybe… I got time. But,” he grunted, closing his sketchbook and turning to face you. “I wanna spend time with you. Go head, get dressed. I wanna take you out today.”

      How ready Steve was to take you out made you perk up. His tone, his demeanor, just the prospect of going out with him on this lovely day full of sunshine amped you up. The fact that Steve had plans for you was so refreshing. He really did want to show you just how much he cared, and he was putting in the effort, day after day. He was doing everything to make sure you knew how much he wanted to be with you and be around you. Even though it seemed as though the bar was low, that wasn’t something you were used to. Just thinking that he made time to plan things out between you and him made you feel all warm inside. 

      So you got ready with ease, taking a shower and getting dressed, putting on just a bit of makeup. Steve complimented your dress when you came out from the bathroom, looking you up and down with the purest, kindest admiration in his eyes. 

        “You like it?” you echoed, flouncing around, unable to fight off the urge to grin. You didn’t struggle with confidence in the physical sense, but Steve made you feel so sure of yourself, like even in these strange circumstances you two were under, he still wanted to show you off and make you feel good about yourself internally. 

       “You… look gorgeous all the time,” he shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it, pulling you close under his arm. 

     “You’re sweet,” you grinned, and laid your head in the crook of his armpit, letting him lead you out of the apartment, letting him lead you to bliss. 

When you got in the car, you saw that in the backseat there was a picnic basket and a blanket. You gasped, clasping your hand over your mouth and gaping wide eyed at Steve. 

      “Are we going on a picnic?” you cooed, grinning wide. 

He smiled back, 

         “You figured it out. Listen, it’s nice out, and I know a great woodsy area where we can be alone and in peace.”

You raised a brow,

       “And here I was thinking New York was a concrete jungle.”

       “Gotta go up north for the good stuff,” Steve shrugged. “It’s nice and secluded, so we won’t have to worry about laying low. Just wanted to take my girl out officially.”

You leaned your elbow against the window, facing Steve as you pressed your palm to your cheek with a smug smile,

       “Your girl, huh?”

Part of you was teasing him, the other part of you just wanted to hear him say it again. Neither of you had had the conversation about labels yet, but it had only been a few days. It was safe to say you weren’t quite worried about labels. You just liked each other’s company. Steve was a man of formality and tradition though, so there would be a point where he probably made things official between the two of you. But for now, he was taking it slow out of respect for you. 

Steve glanced over at you, dimples forming at his cheek as he smiled back, 

      “My girl.”

      “I like the sound of that,” you cooed, your eyes glimmering with admiration for him. 

       “Me too. Glad you like it,” Steve replied, his chest warming up with satisfaction. 

     He was testing out how calling you his girl sounded, and he loved the thought of it. Even though you were his girl, you were still entirely your own woman. That’s what he loved about you. 

      Steve’s hand shifted over to your lap, a gentle grip on your thigh, tapping his foot absentmindedly. He thought nothing of it, but it made your head swarm. Even days after meeting him in person his touch was electrifying and every thought of being close to him thrilled you. You’d been intimate only once with him and not again since then, but every kiss since then seemed to last longer and each one was somehow better than the last time. But even though Steve’s hand on your thigh made you feel warm all over (all over), you just grinned to yourself and faced the boundless road ahead. 

| | | 

     “Oh, this place is so beautiful,” you said for probably the third time since you’d arrived. 

     The woods where Steve had brought you reminded you of California. It was bright and full of summer colors, yellow flowers springing up from the earth and surrounding the verdant grass that crushed underneath the soles of your Converse. The sunlight peeked through the forest canopy through gaps in the leafy honey locust trees and tall redwoods. Everything was lush and green and the air in the woods felt and smelled fresh and much better than the city. Steve knew you all too well, because this was the kind of place you’d go on a weekend with friends back home. You were definitely down for an adventure in the woods.

Steve set the things down on a nice clear patch of grass — he had refused to let you carry anything no matter how much you insisted — and started to set up. 

     “I was hoping you’d like it,” he grunted, spreading out the blanket and gesturing for you to sit down as he started to unpack the picnic basket. “I was planning this for the other day when it rained and we stayed in and…”

      Steve trailed off, his cheeks threatening to go red as he remembered what you did instead of a picnic that day. He couldn’t deny that he thought about it often—that he thought about touching you over and over again because there was nothing better than that feeling you gave each other. But nothing much had happened since then, mainly due to lack of time— you just recently had to deal with Bucky finding out, but now that that was over, you’d have more than enough time. You both felt like the fact that that situation was over called for celebration, and you knew just how you’d celebrate. 

Luckily, you had been distracted by a flower poking out by the tree Steve set up the blanket next to, and you wouldn’t poke fun at him or make him any more hot and bothered than he already was just from thinking of that night. 

      “For you,” you stood in front of him, tucking the flower right at his ear. “Aw, Steve. You look so soft.”

As soft as someone like Steve could look. It was funny— you watched him consistently and he constantly switched between looking like this scary macho man to becoming the softest Golden Retriever puppy when he looked at you. Your chest swelled with pride at this hunk of a man you’d managed to get. Nothing screamed Alpha dog more than Steve Rogers and while manliness wasn’t your top priority, you liked knowing that you were with a man when you were with Steve. So many people would die to get to know him on a personal level, but it was just your luck that you were actually able to. 

Steve grinned, fiddling with the stem of the flower behind his ears for a moment before settling down and opening up the picnic basket. He pulled out all the food, along with a bottle of sparkling rose and two wine glasses for the both of you. You sunk down to the blanket, sitting on your knees and marveling at the miniature feast before you. Steve was constantly putting in the effort and making it look so effortless, and you couldn’t help but watch everything he was doing with a smile glued to your lips. 

      “Not too early for a drink, is it?” Steve asked, tilting his head up to the sky, glistening with sun. 

      “Never too early,” you grinned mischievously, biting down on your lip as you watched Steve pour two glasses of rose. 

He handed you yours and then raised his own, and you reached forward to clink the glass in a toast.

     “To us,” Steve said, and you nodded in agreement.

     “To us.”

You took a sip of your drink and sighed in satisfaction, smacking your lips. Looking at Steve in front of you felt like such a sight to see. Your heart swelled as you took in your surroundings—the beautiful woods around you and the picnic Steve had somehow put together without your knowledge. And Steve was looking at you just the same way, so unaware of your nonchalant beauty as you leaned back, your skin glistening in the sunlight. You humphed, wanting to be closer, and practically crawled over to him. Steve’s eyes lowered as he watched you approach him, then settle into his lap with your legs on either side of his thick legs. The faintest grin appeared on his lips as you slung your arms around his neck lazily, holding the glass of wine between your fingers in one hand behind him. 

      “You really did all this for me, huh?” you asked, letting a finger trail along his chin, prickly from the beard he was growing. 

He bit down on his lip, his hand traveling to grasp your wrist softly and keep your hands touching his face, coming down to cup his chin. 

       “I hope you love it,” he replied, and you giggled,

       “Are you kidding? We have to go out here again before I leave,” you decided then and there. 

You still had loads of time left with Steve, and luckily there was so much you had yet to do together.

      “I promise we will.”

      “Steve,” you sighed out his name, leaning in closer to him. “I’m so happy here.”

You kissed his lips, a sweet and full lipped kiss that left both of you wanting more. Your lips tasted like cherry flavored gloss and rose. You giggled to yourself at the way that Steve leaned in, searching for more when you pulled away. His voice was low and soft, 

      “I’m happy you’re happy.”

You both laughed quietly and Steve pulled you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck making you lurch forward as he led you with his lips. 

      Your tongue slipped in against the roof of his warm, firm mouth. His grip on your neck got stronger, his hand drifting down to the nape of your neck and squeezing just right, eliciting a lush moan from you. The touch of your body in such close proximity to him combined with the vibrations your moans made in his mouth got him hard. Like a reflex, he shifted his hips upward, pressing the outline of his hard length into the white cotton underwear that was exposed when you fit your legs around him. 

       “Mmh,” you whimpered when you felt him. You unlatched your saccharine lips from his, which tasted faintly like rose, and threw your head back only slightly, which urged him to lurch forward and press his lips to the exposed skin there, all sunkissed and warm. You grabbed at his hair. “Fuck, Steve.”

     “We haven’t even eaten,” you realized aloud, a giggle bubbling up in your throat that became a moan as Steve purposefully nudged his knee against your clothed clit again, finding the sensitive bundle of nerves easily underneath the fabric that hid it. 

     “No, not yet,” Steve shot back in a suggestive tone, and you raised a brow.

     “Steve, are you trying to tell me something?” you teased him, choking on your words halfway through because Steve was practically making you ride his thigh, rocking your body back and forth between his erection and his thighs after you slid down his knee. 

     Every movement he made, he did it with ease, bringing you closer to climax just by rocking against you. He could feel every contraction your pussy made against the outline of his erection as you squirmed and bucked your hips and rolled into him. Any logical thought process had left your mind— here you were, riding Steve’s thigh in the middle of the morning during what was supposed to be a sweet picnic in the woods. He had you gripped close to him, so even with all your squirming there was no way you were going to be able to move away from him, not with how strong his arms were. 

     He didn’t seem to notice, but this was just another way he asserted that nonchalant dominance over you that you died for. His hands fit perfectly around the small of your back, keeping you in place. He kept suckling at your chin and occassionally leaving tiny love bites on your neck as you rolled your hips euphorically. The slow, tantalizing pace he kept you at only drove you closer to your impending orgasm, the friction between his body and your own unbearable. 

     Steve had this unbelievable control over you while you helplessly, wordlessly rode his thigh, brushing up against his dick every now and then. And to think you were doing this in such a beautiful outdoor surrounding, removed far enough from others that no one would walk up on you. The silence was filled with restless panting from you as your orgasm drew closer, and the ambience of wilderness - the birds chirping, the greenery scuffling in the breezes of wind that drew past. 

      “Gonna come, princess?” Steve whispered hotly into your ear, reaching his fingers down and feeling the wet mark that had formed in your underwear, pressing against your throbbing clit. 

     “Mm, mhm,” you groaned, arching your back as your hips rolled in tune with his fingers. You came with a shuddered moan, soaking your own panties as your climax coursed through your veins. Your whole body seemed to shake, only stabilizing once Steve dug his fingers into your hips to ground you again. 

You stayed there for a moment, still grinding your hips against his and kissing him, holding him tight against you until you pulled away and pushed him back, still straddling him. He was laying on his back and marveling at the sight of you on top of him as you began to kiss him, your lips leading the way down against his toned body where they’d soon reach the place you wanted your mouth the most. How desperately you wanted your lips against those muscles, kissing there and really being able to feel him. You could feel Steve’s heart pounding when you layered kisses on his chest, and he was glad you couldn’t hear the thoughts in his head because they were positively swarming with nerves. 

     “There’s— oh,” Steve groaned when your lips reached his v-line, unsure of how he was still even able to talk with the way that his voice felt so constricted. “There’s still food—”

     “Just relax,” you interrupted, and he accepted without argument, throwing his head back and letting you do the work. 

| | |

     Today, Steve was out at work until further notice, but he made up for it by ordering breakfast for you, accompanied by a lovely note that he left on the kitchen table that morning.

Had to go in today. Promise me you won’t miss me too much. Be back soon. 

- Steve Rogers

The note had made you chuckle—he was such an old man, signing his first and last name like you were colleagues and you didn’t give him the best head of his life just a few days ago. With each passing day you were growing more and more used to each other, more comfortable with expressing intimacy and acting like… well, a couple. It was just, you hadn’t exactly given what you had a title. And while you thought about labels off and on, you weren’t rushing. Steve probably thought about it much more than you did—even though he was adapting to this modern world and the products of modernity (ie: cam girls), he was still traditional in a sense. 

      He didn’t want to string you along in a weird, titleless relationship. And while he knew that what you had didn’t need a title because of its unconventionality and the fact that you truly liked each other, he knew he’d feel a whole lot more secure when he could call you his girl, and have it be official. So he was brooding on it, because he knew that you didn’t want to rush things either, and in the back of his mind he knew you’d probably be fine going through these two weeks without an “official” title, but he decided the time for a conversation was due soon. 

      Though right now, he decided he’d take it easy, leave the harder conversations for later. He had something he wanted to show you. Now that you both seemed to have settled down, he wanted to take you out as much as he could. At least, while keeping a low profile. 

You had only spent a few hours alone when Steve came home through the front door. You sauntered over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek when you saw him. He kissed you back, wrapping one arm around your waist. 

     “Hey!” you chimed. 

     “Hi,” Steve grinned, smiling down at you with that very same look in his eyes— it was funny, neither of you seemed to notice how infatuated you looked when you set your gaze upon each other, but you always noticed it on each other. “How was your day? Didn’t miss me too much, did you?”

You smirked, placing a hand on his chest,

     “Maybe a little. Maybe.”

      “Well, I missed you,” he grinned, his voice getting softer. He nodded towards the open door behind him. “Get dressed, I wanna take you someplace.”

mkay i hope y’all enjoyed that suuuper short lil sneak peek i miss y’all tons & missed posting my writing on here. i can’t wait to get back to normal <333

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Finally got to watch the second episode from today... 

Those two episodes actually gave me some hope for the show. Shows what good writers, a better mix of characters and not the same tired stories can do for you. 

I quite liked Ethan so far (so long as I ignore the fact that Sarah could have definitely just taken the drugs and kept walking and this entire plot is actually totally unnecessary). But aside from that, Ethan, like Charles and like Mack, has a little bit of spark to him that is sorely lacking lately. And I quite liked his friend Olly too. Can he stay? I would like him to just be permanently sat on a bar stool to give good comebacks to Chas’s nonsense. Psycho landlady indeed. Haha. Hell...maybe he and Ben could date. 

I was confused about the stag do though. Like...whose stag was that? Cause it wasn’t his or Ethan’s, it was one of the two extras who didn’t actually have any lines and were barely on screen? Haha. Random. I feel like I would have had Olly be the groom and Ethan be the friend organizing or something. 

PC Pierce though...sigh...why does the show have to keep ruining the cops I actually like that were once good to robron? At least Swirling hasn’t been ruined yet. Culturally, I can’t decide if this story is appropriately timed to shed light on the issue or ill timed because do we really need to see more black men being unfairly charged for crimes they didn’t commit? It’s a fine line. Depends on what they do with it. 

Aside from all of that, I really liked the Diane content in this episode. Sometimes she can be too much but today she was perfect. With the Sarah connection that it’s about time the show remembered, she was actually a really great person to go talk to Charity. And the Seb connection. I’m still bitter about her getting to see him and not Aaron but I liked the mention anyway. Made it all feel more realistic. Plus it was really nice to see someone talk to Charity with some empathy rather than just yelling at her. Made Charity a lot more sympathetic too. And the scenes with her and Noah were actually nice. Their relationship has always been one step forward, like eight steps back so it was nice to see her say she was proud of him and to see him smile like that. I don’t want to lose Noah though, so is this really going to be his exit then? For good? 

The Danny stuff is...meh. I’m not really looking forward to Debbie getting involved but...sure. 

The Nate and Cain scene actually didn’t bug me that much today. I suppose they do have move on eventually even though I will forever hate Nate’s introduction. I’d rather it just not be weird anymore. Pregnant Tracy is still annoying though. I hope once the baby is out she can go back to being a decent character that doesn’t just whine about being pregnant and her sister not being there. 

The whole Mack stealing the car thing was kind of fun based purely on me liking the garage and wishing it was used more these days. Felt like nostalgia. I wish they would flesh out Mack’s desire for money a bit. Like...Al had needed money that one time to pay someone off. Does Mack have debts? Did he just never want to work an actual job? I just wish they’d give him some actual motivation at some point. Even if I do just enjoy him running around and being a general menace regardless. 

The Rhona and Marlon stuff was cute even if Paddy and Chas were OBNOXIOUS. I did like when Rhona was all “I’m gonna go ahead and pull the awkward ex wife card” and Marlon was just like “please do”. I hope the show does let them legitimately get together. I’m glad Rhona was just like “I do not believe in all of that bad luck universe crap” because that was what killed the Chaddy thing for me before it even got started at the beginning. It was just annoying. 

All in all, actually decent episodes... Dare I hope for that to continue? Maybe at least tomorrow’s episode? Haha.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #349

“we’ll meet again, when both our cars collide”

When was the last time you had a PopTart? It's been many, many months. Do you like hot chocolate? Well duh. Who made you laugh the hardest today? I haven't really laughed today. Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? Hmph. Would you ever jump into a fire to save your bestfriend? I know I would. Do you have a callus from writing too much? No, I only have calluses on my feet from when I used to walk for hours on end. They just never permanently went away, even with grooming. Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dread to guess what the girl Jason dated after me was told about me. I shouldn't care at all, but I do. I have every reason to accurately be defined as "the crazy ex," and I fucking hate it. Who is your best guy friend? Girt, a friend from high school. Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? I did as a kid, but now I don't. I just kinda stand and eat. What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? I kinda burnt the roof of my mouth on pizza the other night. Do you know anyone with a lip piercing? Me, haha. I know others, too. What did the last tattoo you saw, look like? I don't remember. Have you ever given birth? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Do you enjoy making out? I mean if I'm in the mood to and I love you, yeah. Why exactly do you take surveys? "I genuinely like doing them and they’re great for venting and sorting out thoughts and whatnot. I can just ramble and get things off my chest." <<<< This right here covers it. As well, it's just a boredom killer. And I happen to be bored very, very often. Rockband or Gutair Hero? Both are great, why choose just one? What are you listening to right now? Halocene's cover of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. It's beautiful. What kind of energy drinks do you drink, if any? None, because I just can't do energy drinks. They taste like pure poison to me. Have you ever been swimming in a river? No. Swimming in a river sounds pretty dangerous... Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. When you broke stuff in the house as a child, did you blame it on siblings? I'm hoping you don't mean breaking deliberately, 'cuz I wasn't that kind of kid. But anyway, I don't believe I did. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes. I was obSESSED with those games as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? Tigers, probably. They're so stealthy and, while I may be entirely wrong, seem like the top candidate of the three to attack a human, be it for food or defense. And have you SEEN the muscles on a tiger? Christ. Describe the best use that you’ve found for duct tape: Uh, taping things lmao. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags? I use gift bags, because I can't wrap for shit. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's is really gross to me. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Just giant squid... *shudders* Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? No. I did, however, purchase something on deviantART and never got the product. It was going to be a present for Jason. In dA's defense though, I've bought like... two or three other things from there, and there were zero issues. It's really about the people you trust. If you get a call that says “Unknown”, do you answer it? Nnnnope. Do you have any bobble head figures? No. Have your parents ever left you somewhere without realizing it? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. Did your last kiss mean anything to you? Well yeah, I wouldn't have kissed her otherwise. Would you say that you have a nice smile? No; I've been self-conscious of it since I was a kid, mostly because one of my eyes looks more squinty than the other, but they both are to me. I've always said I look high when I smile lmao. Is there an ex you want to make up with? My mind immediately screams "Jason," but I know that's a horrendous idea. Our last talk ended peacefully and even with care and good wishes, and I need my fucking impenetrable head to accept that's where it needs to end. He does NOT need to re-enter my life. It would be so bad for me. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I have no memory of it, if I'm being honest. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? None. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Really? Whoever reads these lmao. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core and how every student's school experience was not tailored towards their unique goals. Like they try to cram a shitload of identical and usually useless information into a kid's brain to make them a jack of all trades, you could say, but not enough information they need to properly pursue their career future. It causes such an unnecessary amount of frustration and stress. I have many, many complaints about the education system, but this one tops the list. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Back in college, I would just do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Well, considering I'm bisexual... Do you remember life without the internet? No. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've gone my entire life thinking I'm ugly, if I'm being real. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 a fucking hour. :'''''') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? There's a few people. What is your first memory of being in a hospital? Considering my mom worked at the local hospital when I was a kid, I remember being there quite, quite young, playing with my older sister in Mom's and her coworkers' room. I think Nicole was too young to really "play." Do you have any relatives with red hair? No. What is something good that has happened to you in the past week? I got my first Covid vaccine. My arm hurts like a motherfucker now, but to protect my mom, it's worth it. Please get vaccinated. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? That's never been my business. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I would go to a local one if I could actually walk five feet without being in serious pain and sweating like a pig. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? I can't remember, but it was recent, because we all met at Ashley's house for Nicole's birthday celebration. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Pretty much never, given they all lived no less than like, 10 hours (via car) from where we lived. My immediate family are the only people in NC. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Stay out of it, but admittedly try to listen just to know what's going on. Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Yeah. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I survive off of microwaveable freezer food, so this is very hard... uhhhhh... perhaps this Banquet bowl meal that's mac 'n cheese with spicy chicken. It's absolutely delicious, like you'd never guess that sucker was just popped in the microwave. I'd say I eat it a moderate amount; it's a reliable option if Mom's not cooking and I'm really hungry, because it's super filling. Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? I enjoy them, particularly when they're about animals. Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Ha, speak of mac 'n cheese. I love it, and Kraft makes it fine. Do you burn incense? Not as much as I used to. I love the smell and just general vibe, though. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Going to a bar or something. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? In the head, anyway. Is there anything currently bothering you? Multiple things. Would you say that you’ve got something ‘special’ about you? No. Do you like things vampire-related? I don't really have an opinion on vampire stuff. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past? I don't care. Have you ever been to a casino? No. What’s the last thing you wore a costume for besides Halloween related events? Back when I still took dance classes and we had the yearly recital. What does your father do for a living? He's a mailman. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? Haha, I re-downloaded this ollllldddd game I had before, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space (or something like that?) for my niece to play. She's hooked on it now. Are you in any discomfort right now? Yeah; as I mentioned, my arm really hurts. What do you know the most about? Of all things I know, almost certainly meerkats. Are you seeing anyone? No. Have you ever hooked back up with an ex, just for sex? Was it a mistake or no? No. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using a phone in class? No, because I didn't use my phone in class. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? No, which is a fucking crime. I need to see the last one. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty plenty plenty. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Yeah, myself included. If you had to live in an extreme environment — think Sahara, Antarctica, under the sea, on the Moon— where would you want to live? Why? Probably Antarctica. I'm sure it would be unpleasant, being that cold, but I feel there's more you can do about being cold than being in the scalding heat of, say, the Sahara. Living on the moon or in the deep ocean sounds super sucky. How was your day overall? It's been okay. Not as bored as usual, at least. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... zero. I want to say my dad, and I almost do, just... nightmares make that very, very difficult. Plus his past. What does your mom call you? Normally just "Britt." Write a sentence in another language: Oh god, my German is so rusty... uhhhh... Hallo, ich heiße Brittany, und ich bin 25 Jahre alt und wohne in North Carolina. I think I got the grammar right? Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Even if I was comfortable with my body, I would be way too paranoid to at any point have a naked picture on my phone, even if I deleted it. Like, hello blackmail, but also, nothing you delete is ever really gone permanently. What big city do you live near? Raleigh is like an hour away. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? omg YES Is there a Sonic in your area? Yes, it's my favorite fast food joint. You have GOT to try the pretzel twists with cheese dip. Have you ever gone to a thrift store? Yeah, I love 'em. Do you think Johnny Depp is attractive? I do. Are you happy with the state you live in? No, not at all. I hate this place. Bunch of homophobic, racist rednecks. How many times have you seen the opposite sex naked? It's not like I counted every time I saw my ex naked over three and half years lmao. How many times have you seen the same sex naked? A few times. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? I don't use a calendar. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!! :''') I know I can't stop talking about it, but ugh I'm so excited. May 19th, c'mon already. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I used to as a kid. Not so much anymore. Are you in debt right now? For what? Oh god, I don't want to think of this. Would you ever work night crew? I really, really wouldn't want to. Humans are diurnal for a reason. Being awake in constant darkness would depress the fuck outta me, and it'd feel so lonely, with everyone I know asleep. Who was the last person that lied to you, or that you can recall lying to you? What did they lie about? How did you find out they were lying? I don't remember. Has anyone ever called you ugly, straight up, before? How did you react to this? No, not to my face. Who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? MY MOTHER.

[gencat21]

NCT - Him saying something hurtful to you and you get hurt afterward (2)

NCT Dream

Requested

RENJUN

"So, how do you say this?" he asked you again, and your mind went blank. You begged Renjun to teach you Chinese a while ago, but you had a tiny problem. For some reason, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't understand. Being a foreigner learning Korean better but actually wanting to learn at least some basic Chinese was harder than expected. To the point where Renjun was getting frustrated. "You don't pay attention or something? Y/N, I've tried for months to teach you but you don't get anything. Are you dumb or something? Aish! I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm done." He stood up from the floor and went to the kitchen while Jisung just sat there looking at his Hyung, wondering why he exploded like that. His eyes went from the back of Renjun to you, who was still sitting on the floor but with eyes getting watery while you gathered all of your stuff slowly. Were you holding back your tears? He saw how you stood up and without saying anything, you left the dorm, but he couldn't forget the cast that you had taken off a day before, could you really stand up and leave quickly like that? "Hyung, " Jisung stood up from the couch he was on and went to the kitchen.

"Yes?"

"Hm… she just left." He said, somewhat nervous just in case Renjun wanted him to stop you.

"Without saying anything? What's gotten over her?"

"Hyung, you kind of… not kind of, you actually called her dumb. She seemed sad then she stood up and then left." Realization hits Renjun at that moment and remembered that the way he said you were dumb was hurtful. It was hard for you to learn Chinese when you weren't perfectly good at Korean either. He immediately left what he was doing at the kitchen to run after you.

His heart breaks at the sight of you right outside of the dorm door on the floor knowing that you didn't have to leave so quickly and tried to run when you actually couldn't.

"Y/N," his voice seemed sad as he crouched beside your crying figure. "Baby, let me help you up. You know your leg is not healed completely for you to be so harsh on it." His hand sweetly caressed your head.

"I'm just really dumb," you said, not lifting your eyes from your leg.

"No, you're not sweetie. The dumb here is me for even saying that to you. I'm really sorry." He carefully delivered his words making sure you can understand every word.

"You are dumb," for the first time you looked at his eyes ever since you fell on the floor.

"Forgive me?"

"I will think about it."

"Hot chocolate for my princess?"

"Sure."

JENO

He was going through something, but you didn't know what to do about that. All you wanted to do was help him overcome whatever he was going through, and instead, you were sitting in front of him drinking your ice coffee while staring at him and how he was looking outside with a straight face. No exchange of words, no exchange of looks, no eye smile he always has on no matter what. You were just there in silence thinking why he planned this date a week ago when he was just going to ignore you. "Can I ask what is going on inside your head?" You asked when you couldn't entertain yourself with your coffee since it was over.

"No, "

"Will, you ever tell me?"

"I don't think so, " he answered.

"You don't trust me?" You wondered, looking at him waiting for him to tell you, yes, instead he remained quiet and full of thought. That silence put pressure against your heart. Does that mean he doesn't trust you at all? After a year into the relationship? You got full of thought and just looked at his side face for a minute. His silence answered your question. And your heart broke. "I thought we were on the same page here but apparently we are not." A tear was begging to appear but you contained it by looking at the ceiling.

You were a sensitive girl you had to admit, but that occasion was just so painful for you for two reasons. Jeno didn't trust you, and when you stood up to leave you ended up crashing with a waiter that had a tray of hot coffee that found its way to fall on you. I repeat, hot coffees. You yell in pain when your chest and stomach started to burn in a way that you just broke down right there. The Jeno situation plus this was enough for you to let it all out.

Jeno looked at you as soon as you stood up and wanted to stop you but when the boy crashed onto you, he just didn't know what to say or do. "Babe, I—” he started to say but you already left the coffee shop and he wanted to punch himself for that. The truth was that he was jealous of Jaemin because ever since you met Jeno there has been this bond between Jaemin and you, like sister and brother, no feelings involved. And you have gotten mad about it because you felt like he didn't trust you enough when you said you were friends.

That's why it hurt your feelings when he didn't answer. You thought that was left in the past, you thought he had grown out of it. You were wrong.

Obviously, he ran after you, thinking about taking you to the hospital but you ignored him completely. You wanted to go home and nowhere else, and not being near him. " Where are you going?"

"Home, can't you see." You said, trying to stop crying even thought your chest and stomach were in pain.

"We should go to the hospital."

"My mom will treat me this," you said and continued to ignore him until you got home and left him behind. He called you that night, and the night before not being able to see you due to busy schedule, or so he said. Three days later he was on your bedroom door, with no eye smile.

"Can we talk?" Your eyes stared at his figure on your door, wanting to say yes but not wanting to open your mouth at all. "I was… jealous of Jaemin again. I saw he texted you when you went to look for our coffee and couldn't help but to feel jealous. I couldn't tell you because you were going to get mad at me again but I just can't hide my feelings and I'm sorry.” he said while you listened, getting upset about the " Jaemin" thing again.

"So… either way you don't trust me. I understand—" he cut you off mid-sentence, seeing Jeno get m frustrated for the first time in your life. "No, I do trust you! But even though he is one of my best friends I can't help but feel like he will steal you away from me. He could if he wanted, and that's scary." Instead of being mad at him, that disappeared and you felt sad.

"Babe… he will never.”

" I'm sorry.”

"Say sorry by asking my mom for that cream she put on me for the burn that practically was your fault.” you laughed a little so he could stop being so tense. Guess that was not going to happen, because the other concern was your stomach. It really got burned. Anyone could see the mark it was about to leave.

DONGHYUCK

You were getting pissed. You couldn't control it. He was joking trying to bother you so much today that your patience was running out. He knew you were hard to tease, and he decided that today was the day that he was going to tease you for the first time and do anything that would get you annoyed. At first, it was all fun, but it was getting to a point that you just wanted to run away after punching him in his extremely handsome face. "DONGHYUK, JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY." he was startled by you suddenly screaming his name instead of Baby, and then smiled because he got what he wanted. "are you mad?" He asked you. "I came to spend the day with you and you've been bothering me all day and joking around, can't you be a little more mature?" You lowered your voice but still raised your voice to let out all the frustration you had been locking up the whole day. His face was not playful anymore, in fact, he was getting a little mad as well

"Can't you fucking be a little less boring? When we got together I understood you were more of a serious girl but you're just boring."

"Sure, whatever." You said, totally hiding the fact that he saying you were boring was not hurtful at all. "There's no point in being together don't you think? I will just be annoying you by how boring I am, let's you leave this right here." You said, starting to look for the few things you had outside of your bad like your keys, phone, and wallet.

He stood behind you watching what you were doing not getting in his head that you were getting ready to leave on the only day you had to see each other for more than an hour. "That's not what I meant." Until he saw you grabbing your bag and walking straight to the door and started panicking.

"No, that's what you meant. I'm not stupid, I heard you." In a flash you opened the door and closed it, ignoring him calling out your name. You just continued walking through the people, not caring about him not being behind you or anything. You still had in your mind that there was no point to be with someone that you will never make happy no matter what. Or at least for a couple of minutes. Until you remembered how he said that you were boring. "I am really that boring?" You asked your self, completely lost in thought until you heard people yelling at someone to get out of the way. And realizing that that person was you but not being able to do anything because it was already too late was the worst part. Hopefully, the person driving the car stopped before he could hit you in a way that you would just have died. Instead, it touched you. You fell to the ground anyway and felt pain on your right leg. The lady got out of the car immediately and ran to you say how sorry she was and you almost could see her eyes getting full of tears. "It was my fault, I didn't pay attention to where I was going. I'm sorry."

Haechan was going to run after you but he got the most unnecessary call from his manager that he ended up hanging up, but when he got out of the dorm there was no sign of you. How he was so stupid to answer that call at that moment. He just started running in a direction while calling you to your phone to find out where you were. Did you just break up with him? Was it over for you two already? No way. He regretted his words because you weren't boring at all, but there was no way to tell you that since he lost you. A few minutes after his heart stopped when he heard people screaming at someone to stop or to be careful. He wished that person it wasn't you. But he heard your voice screaming for a few seconds due to pain. There was a mini crowd of people in the sidewalk in which he pushed around until he saw you being carried by two men that were helping a lady getting you inside her car. His heart broke when he saw a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Y/N!" You heard him and couldn't help but to roll your eyes while you were being placed inside the car "I'm her boyfriend can I go with you?" He said to the lady totally desperate, and the lady felt pity for him so she said yes and he sat beside you in the backs it without touching your leg. You avoided his eyes at all cost but you knew he was glancing at you with the puppy eyes you loved and hated at the same time. "You're not boring, " he broke the silence. "Whatever, " still avoiding his eyes. "Stop looking at me, "

"No, you're gorgeous."

"I hate you, "

"And I love you so forgive me, "

"Whatever, " you said but finally looked at him and laughed a little, seeing him feeling relieved.

JAEMIN

"Can't understand how you got to debut." His voice was audible as soon as the music on your phone stopped. You turn around to see him standing on the door arms crossed, and you can't help but look somewhere else to hide the fact that those words were actually hurtful. But you couldn't show him that to him, right? "Look who's talking," you didn't know where the strength to respond back came from. "There were actually a lot of other girls that could have debuted in your place, guess they wasted the spot completely." You laugh ironically, knowing that it was true. You spent hours and hours practicing you singing and dancing because you knew you were there for your looks. But looks don't give you talent. No matter how beautiful you are, you have to work hard to get the skills you lack, and that's what you were doing for longer than your schedule had planned for you. In that case, hearing say something you already knew was hurtful, and more when you knew what he was doing there. "It's enough, Jaemin."

"Don't like the truth?"

"Stop,"

"Can't hear fac—"

"Just because you're in love with me and we cant be with each other doesn't mean you have hurtful towards me. You're not the only one that got a broken heart so please leave so I can fucking practice." And without another word you olay the song again and start to practice harder. Three hours later, you let yourself fall on the floor panting hard, feeling how every single muscle from your body was hard to move. You couldn't. The tiredness was extreme, and you couldn't remember if you had taken water while sweating for all that time. Did you have lunch? You can't remember. Your eyes were barely able to look at the ceiling due to the lights hurting your eyes. And slowly your eyes get closed until you lost consciousness of your surroundings.

He couldn't really focus on the recording they were doing, his mind only was thinking about you and how he really got over the line while trying to push you away and forget about how much he liked you. As soon as he finished, he went back to the dance room where he saw you lying on the floor with your eyes closed, and panicked washed all of his face. He quickly threw himself on the floor beside you and held your face while calling your name softly. For his luck, they opened. But they looked so tired that he regretted more than ever saying that before.

"Are you okay? Did you faint? I'm sorry. For what I said, this is just difficult for me. I can't control my words lately and… "

"Everything was dizzy," you ignored the other things he said after you promised yourself not to talk about what you two went through a little while ago. " I was really dizzy. So I laid down and next thing I know you're grabbing my face like this." He noticed he was holding your face with both hands, but doesn't think about taking them away. He did not want to.

"Do you want something? Anything I can get from you?" He was nervous to see you so worn out. after all. He liked you.

"Just call my manager, tell her to please take me home. Even though I'm not supposed to be here right now."

"Anything else?" He nods and shifts his eyes all over your face, remembering why he loved it so much.

"And stop talking with me… we can't be doing this and you know it."

"I know,"

CHENLE

Your eyes were fixed on the broken piece on the floor, not believe what happened. You didn't want to stumble and end up breaking something that looked so expensive. It was a simple vase, but it looked like it was worth more than your entire life and you wanted nothing more than disappear in the thin air. As soon as Chenle heard the loud sound of glass breaking, he ran outside his house. You were supposed to just go for a glass of water, nothing else. Your heart was beating fast, and tears started to roll down your cheeks and when you saw Chenle with his mouth wide open. "I'm sorry It was not my intention to break this I—”

" What did you just do?" He yelled at your figure crouched on the floor.

“I—it was no—” you wanted to say in between sobs, but he was not listening to you. All he could hear was his parents scolding him for breaking that.

"You just went for water, you can't even do that right?” his words echoed inside your head, and it just felt like a vivid Deja Vu. It wasn't, but the words were similar to your parents telling you that all the time. You had found comfort when Chenle appeared in your life as the first person that was proud of you for anything that you had put your effort into. And then he left you alone like your parents have done your entire life. The tears didn't stop falling even if you tried to calm yourself down. You opted for at least pile all the pieces of glasses together while thinking about looking for broom at least. But you didn't know if he wanted you to throw it away or leave there. Either way, you piled them. "Ah, ” you whined when you felt a piece of glass piercing your hand. " everyone is right, I can't do anything right.” you decided to ignore it and finish to pile it up until you see that the cut in your hand was bleeding more than normal. In the end, it wasn't that deep, but it was bleeding a lot. You thanked God that the floor was not covered by a carpet, because it was dripping. "Aish, " you said a little bit loud for your liking and tried to cover your hand from dripping more with your other hand while ran you went to the bathroom. Chenle was looking for a broom to clean the mess you did while frowning and thinking what his parents were going to do and pissed with you for causing him trouble, obviously until he saw the blood on the floor, and knowing that it wasn't his he panicked.

There was something that worried him more than his parents taking off all his privileges and scolding him, and it was seeing you hurt and crying in the bathroom. He saw how you had your hand close to your eyes so you could see if there was a piece of glass, and then putting pressure on it so It could stop bleeding. The anger was forgotten at that point, and then he regretted yelling at you. Just seeing you so broken was enough to do that. He silently walked to you and carefully grabbed your wrist to take a look at the cut.

He pulled you to the toilet and sat you there while looking everywhere in the bathroom for the first aid kit. He crouched in front of you and with a cotton he started to clean your wound as carefully as he could, and from time to his eyes went to your face. Your look was lowered, and the almost dry tears were visible to him.

You wanted to speak but knew that saying sorry was not fixing the expensive vase. "It's okay, ” he said sweetly. " my parents have enough money to buy 10 of the same vase. They should just do that." He tried to joke, but your expression was the same. You felt sorry and there was anything that could be done. you couldn't pay it back. "Look at me, " he ordered, still sweet. You did so. "It's okay, "

"Your words said a different thing earlier."

"But they were not true, I was shocked."

"I'm sorry." You felt your tears watering again.

"Give me a kiss and it will be good, okay?" You smiled at his cheesiness.

JISUNG

"Leave me alone, Jisung." You said as you walked quickly through the hall with your books in hand. You were going to be late for your other class since someone wanted to pester you and finding a reason to stand in your way. You couldn't say be was bullying you, he just liked to bother you and make you pissed for no reason, and you hated him for that. Even though he was the cutest boy you've ever met. At some point, you thought he liked you the same way you liked him, you how they say that if a boy bothers you it means that he likes you. He bothered you but made clear he would like anyone but you. It was hurtful at first, but you got over that. "Why should I?

" Gosh, you need me at school if not you would have nothing else to do, right?" You stopped abruptly and he did the same, following you with a cheeky smile. "Don't flatter yourself, Y/N. You could disappear and no one will notice. Or at least I wouldn't." Your heart skipped a beat, and not for a good reason. You have thought that before, but hearing a person actually saying that to you struck your heart so suddenly that all you could do was look somewhere else and continue walking.

Next day you didn't show up at school, and his lie fell right down on him. When he walked through the hallway and didn't see your figure in your locker, he frowned and asked himself why you weren't there. He knew you had math first period and walked past the classroom but didn't see you there. And for some reason, he started to worry.

At recess, he saw your group of friends at their table and decided to go and ask. "Excuse me, I'm sorry for interrupting but do you know where's Y/N?" They all looked at each other with a worried look, remembering why you were at school today.

"She's in the hospital."

His world crashed down. Or at least that's what he felt. "Why?"

"We don't know yet, her mother just told us that."

After that, he was anxious all day. The hours were slow, each period seeming longer than they have ever been, and when the last class ended, his body jumped from his seat and the first person to leave school was him.

You opened your eyes to see the doctor beside you writing something while speaking to your mom at the same time. "She must wake up anytime so— oh, look who's awake."

"Sweetie, my love, " your mom called your name. "What have I told you about skipping meals? You should eat more, and sleep more, and do what humans beings need to survive

"I forget, " you said as you could, and smiled when your mom kissed your forehead. The doctor helped you sit down on the bed and gave you a glass of water.

"Also, why you never told me you had a boyfriend? I thought you trusted me."

"I don't have one, mom."

"Then who's the nervous boy sitting outside? He's genuinely worried about you." You got more confused as she was talking. What boy? "I will let him in, he's really cute. You would look good together." She started to go to the door, told the boy to enter and just left. "Who is the mother here, her or is it me?" You were saying until his face appeared in sight. "Wh—what are you doing here?"

"You weren't at school." He seemed hesitant. He was standing in the door and didn't know what to do or say. Until he finally got the courage to walk slowly to you, who was still confused." How are you feeling?"

"What do you want, Jisung? Weren't you the one that told me that if I disappear you wouldn't even notice?"

"Don't disappear." He said to the speed of light, so fast that you were shocked. "Never."

"Do you need someone to bother so bad? Get a girlfriend, you're already annoying anyway."

"It's true. I would bother you if you were my girlfriend anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"That I like you. And that somebody needs to check that you are eating well all the time." You've never hard him be this straight forward for all your high school years. He bothered you, and most off the time it was silently. Now that he was saying that to you, you didn't know what to do more than just stare at his eyes, figuring out if it was a joke. But he would travel from school to here just for a simple stupid joke. "I know I've gotten you to hate me all these years but it's because I never had the nerves to tell you that. But you had to get me all anxious and worried for me to actually tell you. And I realized that I have try my best to win your heart."

"It will not be that hard, actually." You murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's see what happens."

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[elisaphoenix13]

(Your) Light In The Dark (Ch. 3)

Despite Scott's rejection of Quill's offer, he was remarkably easy to direct to the senior's car. It wasn't like Quill forced him into his car, Scott got in of his own accord, but he wanted to thank the younger teen somehow. He could've easily flipped him the bird and left him on his own with his math, so Quill could at least make his errands easier right? Scott kept mumbling that it was all unnecessary but he didn't bolt the second they arrived at the grocery store. He only sighed and grabbed a cart while the older teen trailed behind him and looked around for snacks...and periodically at a jean covered ass. Scott really had a great one. Quill just wanted to grab it--

What the hell is wrong with me? I don't even know him and even if I tried that, he would jump out of his skin and run.

Damn, he had his work cut out for him. Granted, this all started because Quill wanted to know who he was, but the more he learned about Scott, the more he liked. He was skittish. Almost to a fault. His main concern was getting those golden eyes to fill with happiness and excitement instead of misery and loneliness though. He clearly needed a friend if he didn't have one already, and even then a second one wouldn't hurt him.

"You finished?" Quill asks when he catches the younger staring at the contents of his cart.

Scott snaps out of whatever daze he had been in and looks at Quill. "Oh...uh, yeah."

They make their way to the front and Quill waits patiently as Scott pays for his groceries before they carry the bags to the bar and throw them in the back. As he drove Scott home (and the younger gave him directions), he couldn't help but notice that the sophomore would side eye him every few seconds. Not entirely because he was nervous, no...he looked curious too. As much as Quill wanted to ask Scott what was on his mind, he knew it would just make the younger clam up and it would be two steps back from what he wanted to happen.

When he finally pulled into the driveway at Scott's house, he unbuckled his seatbelt with every intention to help carry the groceries inside, but Scott stopped him. "I can manage from here. Thanks."

"You sure?" Quill asks.

There were quite a few bags, but the younger nodded and scrambled out of the car and grabbed every single bag including his backpack and walked towards his door. He did mumble a quick thanks as he passed the passenger door and Quill so badly wanted to get out of the car and help Scott with his burden, even if it was just for a second. If a strong wind blew through, there was a strong possibility that it would knock Scott over with how many bags he was carrying. It would probably knock him over regardless but that was besides the point. Quill watched Scott drop the bags long enough to unlock his door and only when he's sure the younger is safely inside with his things does he restart the car. Before he pulled away though, he took one last look at the house and suddenly had the feeling that that was all it was. A house. Some houses that he went to radiated a homely vibe, but this one...it didn't.

Maybe it was because Scott's parents were out of town, or maybe his family wasn't close. Either way, Quill was a little more appreciative of what he had home and family wise. If his gut was right, the air of mystery around Scott just got denser and it was driving him crazy. Just when he managed to carefully pick off a tiny bit of information about the younger teen, he turned around and found himself facing a landslide.

What did he actually know? His name was Scott (last name still unknown), Scott was skittish as all hell but his eyes betrayed how he really felt, he was good at math, small enough to make Quill want to teddy bear him, had the prettiest eyes, and had a nice ass.

That was a sad amount of knowledge, and here Quill was already drooling over him.

Quill grumbles to himself as he drives home, and when he parks in front of his house and walks in, Tim looks over at him from the couch in the living room. "You're home late."

"Oh...yeah. I'm getting some help with math after school. From the same guy I ran into on Friday."

His grandfather looks up at him in surprise. "He didn't run?"

"I'm sure he wanted to. Our teacher kind of dropped the responsibility on him but he stuck around. Well...actually...he did run but not while he was helping me."

"Do you still not know his name?"

"I do! It's Scott." Quill answers quickly with a puff of his cheeks.

Quill explained what was going to happen after school until either Scott got tired of helping him or whenever the senior finally understood math (Scott giving up on him was more likely). He would have practice, study in the school library for an hour with Scott, and then come home after maybe taking Scott home. Football season was almost over so he would come home sooner when it was, assuming Scott didn't throw in the towel with him. Quill hoped that didn't happen because it would give him more time to delve into the mystery that was Scott... whatever the hell his last name was. That should probably be the next piece of information Quill finds out.

=================

The next couple of days more or less went by the same, including his time with Scott, and Quill always took him home. He did find out that Scott's last name was Lang but that wasn't exactly information freely given. Quill just happened to see it on some of his homework. Thursday was completely different though. Wednesday night, his grandfather asked him to skip his study hour so they could help a family friend with...something. Quill admittedly zoned out once Tim said he needed him home immediately after football practice. Even if Scott hardly talked to him, Quill enjoyed spending time with him because it was a nice change from his friends. They were rowdy and always trying for his attention, but with Scott, he was quiet and kept to himself.

Quill just needed a chance to tell Scott he wouldn't be coming to the library today. His best chance would be lunch, and he waited for the chance to go talk to Scott. He periodically looked across the cafeteria, and one time he even caught Scott looking in his direction. His first instinct was to smile at the younger teen, and he had to hold back a laugh when Scott's eyes widened and he looked away with a sputter and pink in his cheeks. As the senior internally gushed over the adorable blush that adorned Scott's cheek, he noticed another student offer the younger teen a juice box.

So he likes juice.

The senior decided now was as good a time as any to go talk to Scott, but the second he stood up and moved to make his way over to the teen, he was intercepted by Rachel. She cozied right up to him with her hands rubbing up his arms, and perfume that Quill was sure replaced actual oxygen. He felt like he was choking on it.

"So Peter…" She purrs. "We were thinking of going to the mall this weekend if you want to come with us."

Quill looks at her hand when it stops on his bicep and he reaches up to gently remove it and push her away. Rachel really had no sense of personal space or what it meant when people said to lightly spritz perfume. He really was having some difficulty getting proper air with the cheerleader that close to him. Her proposition wasn't appealing either.

"I'll think about it." Quill says as he attempts to hide a grimace.

He knew how to deal with Rachel. She wasn't one to take no for an answer, so the closest thing he could say was what he had answered her with. She pouted before she left with a couple of her fellow cheerleaders, and that left Quill to breathe a sigh of relief...without the pollution of artificial fragrance. Sure, some guys were also guilty of basically showering themselves in men's body spray, but girls thought they were innocent of doing anything of the like.

They were not.

By the time Quill started toward Scott again, the lunch bell had rung and the senior released a defeated sigh. He turned back to clean up his mess and toss his garbage, and promised himself that he would go find Scott immediately after school and before practice. He wouldn't leave Scott to sit in the library and wait, and the thought alone had the senior go through the second half of the day with his knee bouncing anxiously. The second his last class was let out, Quill left the classroom and searched the halls for Scott's locker. He thanked himself (very briefly) for running into Scott that first day so he knew where the younger's locker was located. There was also the plus that he got to meet Scott at all.

Quill finds Scott already at his locker and he leans against the lockers on the other side of the open door to wait for Scott to finish getting whatever he needs. It gave the older teen the opportunity to admire his ass anyway.

When Scott closes his locker, Quill straightens and holds back a smirk when the younger visibly jumps at his sudden presence.

"Hey." He greets casually and Scott looks up at him.

"...hi." He mutters.

"So...I can't make it to the library today. I've got a lot of things to get done after practice and it has to be done today--"

"It's fine." Scott interrupts. "We have the same homework and it's mostly review stuff so you shouldn't need my help anyway. One day won't hurt you."

"Okay. Good. It's just today. I'll see you tomorrow?" Quill asks and then pats Scott's shoulder as he moves past him once the younger boy nods.

He hated leaving Scott to walk in the rain, but he didn't even have the time to drive him home. Thankfully, for him, the coach would give them an easy practice inside and maybe even cut it short with this downpour.

=========

The next day at lunch, Quill looked around the cafeteria but he didn't see Scott at all. His friend was at their usual table, but the younger was nowhere to be seen. Said friend approached Quill after school with a concerned expression.

"Quill?"

Up close like this, the senior recognized Scott's friend. "Stephen, right?"

Stephen nods. "I just wanted to let you know that Scott won't be tutoring you today. He wasn't at school today. I'm going to go check on him."

"I can give you a ride. Practice is cancelled and I wouldn't mind checking in on him too." Quill offers.

"Do you mind if we pick up some soup? I have a feeling he might have gotten sick." Stephen sighs.

The senior winces. "I couldn't drive him home yesterday...but yeah. Let's go."

Stephen nods again and follows Quill to the doors of the school, and from there they run straight to his car and get in. They did the same thing at the grocery store when they picked up some soup and medicine, and when they got to Scott's house, they were lucky enough to catch a break in the storm. It wouldn't last long so Quill took the initiative to knock on the door. The two waited for about a minute before knocking again, and Scott finally opened the door a few seconds later. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, his nose was red with obvious congestion, and his eyes gave away how miserable he felt.

Scott managed to look adorable even sick and Quill felt himself falling harder for the sophomore. He had to hold himself back from wrapping Scott up in a bigger blanket and curling around him protectively when he finally let them inside.

[izzyfandoms]

Chosen - Chapter Three

(This is a Gender-Swapped Sanders Sides high school au)

SUMMARY: Logan Berry, Dee Ceite, Patricia Foster, Virginia Picani and Regina and Rena Prince are all 16-year-old high school students. They live relatively normal lives, with ordinary lessons and ordinary crushes and ordinary families, until one day a monster shows up and attacks them after class, and everything suddenly changes.

SHIPS: Moxiety, Logince, Dukeceit

WARNINGS: Sympathetic Remus, Sympathetic Deceit, swearing, monsters mention, sexual implications (Remus), siblings arguing, mention of being worried about death

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game

CHOSEN TAGLIST: @coasting-on-a-wave-of-apathy @littlestr

Masterpost

FIRST CHAPTER | PREVIOUS CHAPTER​ | NEXT CHAPTER

Logan woke up at exactly 6am to the sounds of her alarm clock chirping loudly in her ear. She cracked one eye open, surveying her blurry surroundings, before reaching onto her bedside table and grabbing her glasses. She slid them onto her face and sat up, pressing the top of her clock to silence it.

She stretched, listening to the sounds of her mothers moving around the kitchen below, before sliding out of bed and padding out of the room to take a shower. When she returned – clean, fully awake, and ready for the day – she got dressed in her usual outfit; Logan had multiples of the same clothes. She wore a black polo shirt, dark blue tie, knee-length skirt and plain white socks.

At precisely 6:15am, just as usual, she stepped into the kitchen, immediately greeted by her two mothers, Nathalie and Christine Berry. She sat down at the small kitchen table, pushing her glasses further up her nose.

“Logan, dear, please tell your mother why we can never go see the Davidsons again,” Christine exclaimed dramatically, passing her daughter the cereal and milk, as her wife passed her the bowl and spoon.

“Mrs Davidson insulted your-” Logan began.

“She insulted my scarf! My favourite, most beautiful scarf! I will not stand for it. We can never speak to any of the Davidsons again, we have standards.”  

Nathalie gave her wife an amused but loving glance. “But I just finished fixing up Joseph Davidson’s car. He’s picking it up today, I can’t just ignore him.” She ruffled Logan’s hair, chuckling at her daughter’s protests, before leaving the kitchen to put on her shoes.  

“Besides,” Logan added. “We already agreed that we’d go to their barbeque next weekend, despite my numerous complaints. It’s in the calendar, it was you who said we couldn’t miss it.” She finished pouring her small bowl of cereal and began to eat it at a quick pace – quick enough to be efficient, but not quick enough to choke. She’d mastered her morning routine; everything was perfectly timed.

Christine sighed dramatically, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead and leaning back against the counter, almost knocking over her coffee mug.

“I feel betrayed,” She cried. “By my own family, the ones I thought I could trust.”

Nathalie stepped back into the room, her leather jacket thrown over her shoulder. She leant down and pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek.

“We can cancel the barbeque, if you’d prefer. Logan’s always great at coming up with excuses, we could pretend one of us is sick or something.” She wrapped her arm around Christine’s waist, pulling her closer. “Whatever you want, babe. We never have to speak to the Davidsons again, if you so desire.”

Christine blushed slightly at the nickname – no matter how long they’d been together, she’d always blush at them, which was half the reason Nathalie used them. She lightly pushed her wife away, picking up her coffee mug and finishing the last few drops, before placing the mug into the sink, to be cleaned later… probably.

“We should leave soon,” Christine changed the subject. “Logan, are you almost done? We wouldn’t want you late for school.”

Logan swallowed her last mouthful of cereal, nodding before standing up straight. She went back upstairs to fetch her school stuff and then came back down to put on her simple black shoes, and the family were in the car and on their way to drop Logan off at school within minutes.

“So,” Christine said, when they were halfway through the journey, glancing back at Logan. “You’re going over to Dee’s house tonight, right? We’re picking you up at midday tomorrow?”

“Yes, 12:30pm to be exact.” Logan confirmed.

Christine paused for a moment, before sighing. “I do wish you weren’t getting involved with that ‘monster’ stuff Remy’s always talking about. I know we’ve known for a while that it would be a possibility, but, still, this is some dangerous stuff you’re getting into.”

“Now, now, Chris.” Nathalie added. “We discussed this yesterday, It’s Logan’s choice. She’s a responsible girl, we know she wouldn’t put herself in any unnecessary danger. And, besides, if she’s the ‘true chosen one’, then none of this can be helped, you know that, and, if she’s not, she’ll be fine.”

“Mom’s right, mother,” Logan said. “You two confirmed yesterday that we can trust Remy and Mr Sanders, they’ll keep us safe. If I’m the true chosen one, I’ll kill the Queen and likely survive, it’s fate, and if I’m not, I won’t be in as much danger.” She paused for a moment. “It’ll be worth it; this will help people.”

Logan knew that the logic in that wasn’t entirely sound, and that this could, in fact, be very dangerous. The chances of survival weren’t 100% – though that was true for almost every activity imaginable – and there would be plenty of monsters out to kill her and her friends, but this was important. She had the chance to be a part of something great, to rid the world of a great evil, and return home a hero. She didn’t care too much about that last part, really, but she knew Regina would.

She blushed slightly at the thought of what Regina would think of her if she was, in fact, the true chosen one. If Logan slayed the Queen, she’d be her hero, like the protagonists in all those books and movies Regina was obsessed with.  

Logan wasn’t really into Disney, personally – fantasy wasn’t her cup of tea – but she’d watched most of the movies in the hopes of connecting with Regina about them. Dee had accompanied her, partly out of enjoyment, partly out of friendship, and partly because Regina’s twin, Rena, was also a big fan of Disney movies. In the end, their ventures had only been partially successful.

“Besides,” Nathalie added, snapping Logan out of her daydream. “They’ll be supervised the whole time, right, by Remy and Thomas?”

Christine crossed her arms. “That doesn’t exactly reassure me.”

Logan sighed. “Well, Remy doesn’t seem too serious about her job in general, which isn’t very reassuring, but she does seem rather skilled. She managed to save us from that monster possessing Mr Sanders.”

“Yeah,” Nathalie reassured. “And Thomas is a good guy. Plus, Remy’s parents were the ones who saved me all those years ago. You were there, remember?”

Christine pouted slightly. She sighed. “Yeah... I guess.”

The car pulled up just in front of the school, and Logan released her seatbelt, picking up her backpack and swinging it over her shoulder. She then leant forward, between the front two seats, and her mothers kissed her cheeks in unison. It was a practised motion, part of their daily routine.

“Love you, Lo,” Nathalie said, as Christine spoke up at the same time with:

“I love you, Logan. Have a good day at school.”

Logan climbed out of the car. “I love you, too. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” She shut the car door, stepping away and watching as her mothers drove off in the direction of Christine’s work. Nathalie would drop her off with the car, and then walk to her own place of work, which wasn’t too far from Christine’s.

A hand suddenly appeared on Logan’s shoulder, and she glanced back, immediately meeting eyes with Dee, another part of her daily routine. The two girls almost always arrived at school at the same time.

“Is your mother worried about the whole ‘chosen one’ business, as well?” Logan asked, and Dee shrugged.

“Actually, apparently mom and Remy have been friends for years,” Dee explained, and Logan raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, I know. It’s weird. Mom won’t be coming with us tonight, though. She and Emily have another date tonight.”

Logan hummed in thought. “It’s been over a year. Do you think she plans on proposing any time soon?”

Dee smiled slightly. “I hope so, I like Emily. It might be a little weird, it’ll make Virge and Anne my step-sisters, but I think I can live with that.”

“Anne’s ten, right?”

“Eleven.”

“Oh.”

There were a few moments of silence, before Dee finally spoke up again. “Hey, did you know the school thinks that class-room was vandalised, just like you said they would?”

Logan nodded, humming in thought. “Well, the window was broken and the walls and floor was covered in what appeared to be black paint, so it makes sense. We’re lucky they don’t have any security cameras.”

Dee opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by Patricia appearing around the corner and bounding up to them, eyes brightening when she spotted her friends.

“Dee! Lo!” She exclaimed, pigtails bouncing as she stopped in front of them. “Hi, how are you two doing?”

“Adequate.”

“I’m doing well, how are you?”

Pat fiddled with the strings of her grey cat hoodie. “Oh, I’m great! I’m so excited for the sleepover tonight. All six of us, hanging out, eating popcorn, learning how to fight monsters. It sounds like so much fun!”

A student walking past gave the trio a weird look, adjusting his bright white shirt collar as he walked.

“We’re talking about video games,” Dee called out after him, but he seemed to just speed up to avoid them. She sighed, before turning back to Pat and Logan. “I don’t think we have any popcorn, but we’ve got a ton of ice cream we can eat, what flavours do you like?”

“All of them!” Pat exclaimed, unperturbed by the lack of popcorn. “I love ice cream.”

Logan cleared her throat. “Well, as fascinating as this topic of conversation is, I believe it would be best to discuss the ‘learning to fight monsters’ part when the rest of us are here, to avoid repetition.”

“Aw, you’re so smart, Lo!” Pat giggled. If Logan wasn’t so infatuated with Regina, and Pat so head-over-heels with Virge, she might have developed a crush on the overly-cutesy girl instead. “Are we gonna sit together at lunch today?”

Logan and Dee exchanged a look.  

“I... believe so,” Logan answered, and she was about to continue with a similar topic of conversation, when Pat interrupted with a gasp.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed, pulling out her phone. The case was as bright as expected. “I’m gonna make a group chat for the six of us.” She glanced back up at the other two. “What should I name it?”

“Group chat,” Logan answered immediately. “Short and explicit about its purpose.”

Dee gave Logan an amused glanced, before turning back to Patricia. “What about ‘Chosen Ones’ or something like that? Or you can make an abbreviation, if you want subtlety.”

“Hmm, abbreviation.” She hummed quietly, tongue stuck out in thought. After a few second, her eyes lit up and she beamed. “How about the CATs? Chosen and Terrific! Plus, cats are terrific, just like us!” She pulled up the hood of her hoodie, pointing excitedly at the grey cat ears. It was obvious she was just making an excuse to make the group-chat cat-themed, but they allowed it.

“That works.”

Pat tapped excitedly at her phone, before Dee and Logan’s phones vibrated in unison.

“I added you two, plus Regina and Rena and Virge! That’s everyone, right?” She counted on her fingers, mouthing the numbers. “Yeah, that’s six!”

“You’re not wrong.”

There were a couple seconds of silence, and Logan checked her watch. “We should be getting to class, now. We can discuss all of this later, at lunchtime and after school.”

***

Logan stepped into the cafeteria, brow furrowed at the horrendous noise of dozens of obnoxious speaking at once. She straightened her tie as she surveyed her surroundings.

“Lo! Lo! Logan! Over here!”

She zeroed in on a table in the furthest corner of the room. Pat was stood on a chair – her girlfriend tugging her wrist, trying to get her to sit back down – her hands cupped around her mouth as she yelled to get Logan’s attention. Fortunately, most people ignored them.

Logan sighed, momentarily questioning her choice in acquaintances (friends, really, she supposed the whole ‘chosen one’ thing meant they were all friends now), before she shifted the backpack on her back and began to make her way over to the table.  

Before she was too close, however, she saw the twins exchange a few whispered words – that she assumed the others at the table couldn’t hear – before Rena suddenly stood up, moving to sit beside Dee, and leaving the only empty spot beside Regina.

Rena couldn’t possibly know about Logan’s feelings for Regina, so this was obviously so Rena and Dee could sit together – they both very clearly had feelings for each other, even Logan could see it, and she didn’t usually care about those sorts of things. Virge was sitting on Dee’s other side: they were trying to become friends again, now that they’d likely become step-sisters, and Pat was sat beside Regina.  

Logan sat down beside Regina. They exchanged a glance, before looking away in unison. Logan cursed the fact that she was likely blushing now. Dee’s light smirk confirmed it, though she, too, was blushing slightly as there was approximately zero space between her and Rena.  

“I can’t wait for the sleepover tonight,” Rena rambled on, pulling a green plastic lunchbox out of her backpack. “I’ve got, like, three bags of popcorn in my locker right now.” She pulled a dripping, disgusting-looking sandwich out of her lunchbox, taking a large bite. It looked worse than most of the cafeteria food, and that was saying something.  

Patricia gasped loudly, eyes shining. “Popcorn, I love popcorn!”

“You know what goes great with popcorn?” Rena asked rhetorically. It came out muffled due to the food in her mouth.

“Rena, please,” Regina pleaded, pulling out her own red lunchbox. “Do you have to do this every meal? You’re disgusting.”

Rena rolled her eyes. “No, you’re disgusting.” The effect was again ruined by the sandwich muffling her speech.  

Regina sighed, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and Logan got a waft of her sweet-smelling shampoo. It suited her. Logan wondered if Regina’s hair was as soft as it looked.  

Virge cleared her throat, pushing her food around her tray with her fork. “Disgusting behaviour aside.” She eyed Rena, who didn’t seem offended, so she continued. “Does anyone actually know what we’re doing tonight? We’re spending, like, three hours with Remy and Mr Sanders, right? I still don’t really trust them.”

“Yes, I’ve been wondering about that, too,” Logan said, bringing out a flask of soup and a spoon, zipping her backpack shut again and putting it back under the table. Her knee hit Regina’s, and her heart skipped a beat. “My mom seems to trust them, though.”

“Mine, too,” Dee added, finally taking her eyes off of Rena and returning to her tray of food. “She and Remy are, like, ‘best friends’ or something. I’m a bit pissed she’s never told me about any of this before.”

“Huh,” Virge said. “Do you think she’s gonna tell my mom?” Dee shrugged, and Virge looked back down at her food, nose wrinkled. “I hope so, it would definitely make this easier. I'm really not sure how she’ll react to all this.”  

Pat took Virge’s free hand, squeezing it. “Your mom’s great, Sunshine, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Virge’s ears reddened at the nickname, which surprised Logan slightly, as she would have thought she would be used to her girlfriend’s pet names by now. They were rather common.  

“Hope so...” Virge muttered, frowning.

“It’s, like, so weird that you two are probably gonna be step-sisters,” Regina pointed out between apple slices, gesturing between Virge and Dee. “Didn’t you guys used to hate each other?”

Dee and Virge exchanged an awkward look, before the former turned to give Logan a slightly pleading stare. Logan cleared her throat, attempting to interrupt the awkward silence that had begun to settle over the cafeteria table.

“Well, that... uh, that doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?” Logan wasn’t very good at reassuring people, but she knew this was a sore spot for Dee, so she’d try her best to smooth things over. “That rivalry, of sorts, is in the past.”

Patricia perked up at the chance to end this awkwardness. “Yeah!” She changed the subject a lot smoother than Logan would have. “So, Dee, have you finished the English essay, yet? I’m totally stuck on what to write!”

Dee relaxed. “Yeah, I finished it last night.” Logan already knew that, she and Dee had had trouble sleeping the night prior, due to the... rather alarming... events of yesterday’s final period. They’d stayed on the phone for hours, doing their homework together. “I don’t think Mrs Smith’s gonna like it, though. She and I tend to have rather different morals.”

Patricia made a face. “She scowled at me and Virge in the hallway once. I think she’s homophobic.”

“I think she gave me a detention for my outfit once.” Rena piped up, having finally finished that disgusting sandwich of hers, but now beginning to bite into a lemon like an orange, not even stopping to peel it first. “It wasn’t even one of my slutty ones!”

Regina raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her sister. “Weren’t you wearing a neon green t-shirt with the word ‘slut’ across the front in bright orange?”

“Yeah, but it, like, covered everything, and I was wearing these super baggy jeans, too. I think they were dad’s; I needed to use one of his belts to keep it up.”

“I remember that.” Dee said, looking at Rena fondly. “It looked good on you.”

Rena grinned widely. “I’ll have to wear it again, then.”

Logan and Regina shared an amused look at their sister/best friend’s antics. They then glanced away, blushing. Virge and Pat then shared their own amused look, and the table’s conversation slowly trailed off into a much more casual one, about school gossip and tv shows that Logan had honestly never heard of.

***

Some time passed, and it was now the end of the school day. Logan was waiting with Virge for the rest of the group, so they could walk home with Dee.  

“So,” Virge began, breaking the silence that had settled over them. “Who do you think’s gonna be the actual chosen one? If it is one of us, that is.”

“Regina,” Logan answered immediately.

Virge raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that just ‘cos you’ve got a crush on her, or do you actually think that?”

“I don’t-” Logan started, interrupting herself when Virge gave her a look of disbelief. She cleared her throat. “I mean, that’s not why I think she’ll be the chosen one. She just... seems the most into this, that’s all. She’s been wanting to go on some kind of magical adventure her whole life, so she just... seems like the right fit.”

Virge snorted. “You’re not wrong. She does seem pretty excited about all of this.” She stuffed her hands into her pockets as Dee and Pat appeared around the corner.  

Pat bounded up to them cheerfully, slipping her hand into the crook of her girlfriend’s elbow. Dee reached them a few moments later, walking at a more relaxed pace.

“So, what are we talking about?”

“Logan’s crush.”

Logan spluttered in surprise at Virge’s answer. Pat giggled, and Dee snorted.

“Aw, no need to be so embarrassed, Lo,” Pat reassured. “Regina likes you back, you should totally ask her out!”

Logan sighed. “Okay, first of all, I doubt I’m her type. And, second of all, I’ve decided to focus on my studies instead of dating.”

Dee rolled her eyes. “Logan, Rena is incredibly obvious about how much Regina likes you.”

“But that’s Rena.”

“Did someone say Rena?”

Pat almost screamed in surprise as Rena appeared out of nowhere beside her. Virge glared at her for scaring her girlfriend but Rena ignored it, smug at the chaos she’d caused. A student clad in blue and grey also jumped as he walked past, startled by Patricia. He blinked owlishly at the group, before continuing to wander in the opposite direction.

“Rena, no one likes it when you do that,” Regina said, also appearing out of nowhere, but beside Logan instead, making the girl jump and almost trip over her own feet.  

Fortunately – or unfortunately (depending on who you asked) – Regina managed to catch Logan before she fell. They remained in that position, with Regina’s arms around Logan, for a few moments, before they realised what was going on and let go of each other.

Rena snickered at their plight. “So, when are you two gonna fuck?”

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested what had just been said. Then, Regina screeched, taking off her backpack and throwing it at her sister’s head. As the twins fought, Logan just stood there, red-faced and embarrassed. Virge stepped over to her, putting her hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

“Ignore her, that’s what I do.”

Dee gave Virge a look of disaproval. “Don’t be rude.” She turned to Logan. “But, yeah, just ignore her.”

Patricia shifted awkwardly – she'd seemed rather taken aback by Rena’s exclamation. “Uh, shouldn’t we be heading over to your house, Dee? We don’t wanna be late for Remy and Mr Sanders...”

That seemed to snap Regina out of it, and she stopped whacking her laughing sister with her backpack. She slid it back over her shoulder, as if the fight had never happened, and tucked a few messy strands of hair behind her ear. She checked her watch.  

“We have about half an hour, so we should start walking now,” Regina said. “I refuse to do any exercise in this outfit, so I need time to change.”

“I’m pretty sure attempted murder counts as exercise,” Rena grinned, thoroughly unphased by the events of the past few minutes. She and Logan accidentally made eye contact, and she wiggled her eyebrows at the blushing girl.

Regina punched her sister’s shoulder. “I am so sorry, Logan. I’m begging you, please ignore her. She’s not serious.”

Logan coughed awkwardly. “Uh... noted.”

And, with that, the six teenagers headed off in the direction of Dee’s house, which was a short walk away, ready to start training for the adventure that would change their lives for good.

[interesting-blog-name]

“Indie Rock” MEGAREVIEW (Hippo Campus - Bashful Creatures/Bad Suns - Language & Perspective/COIN - How Will You Know If You Never Try)

“Indie rock” is a term I never understood. It obviously should be used to describe rock by independent bands, but what counts as independent anymore? Bands like Arcade Fire and Modest Mouse are categorized as “indie”, much like Mac DeMarco, and they have reached a point in their careers of worldwide fame, but they’re still considered “indie”, not because they record their music at home with a $15 mic, but because of their sound. It’s hard to describe, but it’s a light brand of rock that has undistorted guitars, pop structures, and something of a Summer vibe to them. I really don’t know how to technically describe indie rock as a genre, but I have yet to listen to an indie rock album, so I got three short albums from bands that my some of my friends listen to, all under the “indie” umbrella (according to Wikipedia), to see if I actually like the style.

 Hippo Campus – Bashful Creatures

It’s a solid EP. Not much more to say.

I really don’t know what to comment on in this, because I feel like the biggest problem with the “indie” “genre” is that the bands all sound the same, and for a 6-track EP, how much variety can you really ask for? Also considering this is their debut EP. The instrumentation is fine, especially the guitars, which I think really embody the whole summertime feel of the genre, and standout in almost all tracks here, and the singer’s voice is memorable enough, and doesn’t leave anything to be desired at any point. He’s also super hot The songwriting is that youthful, lovey dovey shit you’d hear in a teen romance movie (“Art school girl with ignorant bliss. Peace, weed, cocaine, and mushrooms and shit”) but it’s tolerable (except in Souls, that song’s chorus is a little too generic for me, I think; even though I like how the song starts kind of toned down and suddenly blows up). The closest the EP gets to having even the slightest bit of edge is on the title track, an anthem about not caring about what others think and being yourself, and Suicide Saturday, the biggest song in here, which talks about social suicide and college parties and all that. Unfortunately, they’re also the most forgettable songs.

Sophie So has a really catchy hook, and showcases Jake’s higher pitched vocals very well, it is easily my favorite song. On Little Grace, the biggest change-up is the dub rhythm that sneaks up in the middle of the song, but it doesn’t stand out, and the chorus is the most annoying in the EP. Opportunistic has a fast cadence to it that sets it apart a little bit, plus the guitar fingering is notable, but the track isn’t anything superb or whatever.

It is executed well, doesn’t bring anything new, but I’d listen to it in the car.

 FAVORITE TRACK: Sophie So

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Bashful Creatures

 Like a 6/10

“You came back, you wanted to see through my two-colored eyes. You left me at home with a handful of downtrodden sighs.”

 Bad Suns – Language & Perspective

I had known Cardiac Arrest for almost three years now, an upbeat song I’d enjoyed a little, so I chose Bad Suns for the second album, and I was disappointed.

After the first three tracks, I had the feeling Language & Perspective had nothing interesting to offer, and I was mostly right. Nearly all songs here could be described as something like “indie-pop”, but with a huge emphasis on the “pop” aspect. The tracks are all so goddamn formulaic and predictable, songs like Take My Love and Run, Learn to Trust and We Move Like the Ocean sound like they literally copy-paste themselves halfway into them until they end, and Sleep Paralysis swaps what could be an actual verse with like 20 seconds of onomatopoeia. The song topics are generic and bland as well, most of them being about “[coming] to you on my hands and knees” and dreaming about an ex late at night and stuff like that, or general teenage anxiety and overthinking, and that would be tolerable if the band at least said it with some kind of variation, but they don’t, it’s just surface-level love and regret songs back to back.

An exception to the bland songwriting in the album is the song Salt, where lead singer Christo sings from the perspective of his transgender friend. I’m not trans, so I can’t relate nor understand if the lyrics are accurate, but the thing is he isn’t either. From the Genius annotations, it seems the friend was pleased though, and said the feelings expressed in the song were things she actually felt, but was never able to describe, so I guess that’s cool of him to dedicate a whole song to her experience. Still, unfortunately the track isn’t such a standout instrumentally or vocally, but one thing I liked was how the hook finishes at the end of the song, when “these memories are nothing to me, just salt” becomes “salt to the wound”, so yeah that was cool.

Language & Perspective is at its best when the hooks are catchy and you just don’t give a fuck. Songs like Cardiac Arrest, We Move Like the Ocean and Pretend are super easy to sing along to, and sound perfect for when you’re in a car driving against the sun (I know I said the exact same thing for the last album leave me alone), especially because of Bowman’s impressive singing, but without that thin veil of sugary pop, what does this album have that stands out? Matthew James, Take My Love and Run, Transpose (which sounds like it could be on a really corny Nike commercial) and Learn to Love just aren’t as memorable and fun, and so they end up coming off as generic, bland and at times annoying, just because they don’t hold up to the melodic fun little hooks on the other songs.

I can’t hate on Dancing on Quicksand and Rearview however, as even though the first’s lyrics aren’t standouts, I can’t help but love how groovy the song is, and the latter, while the melodies aren’t the most memorable here, the lyrics, to me, sound like they have a little more life and personality to them, even if they remain somewhat vague. I have to admit Sleep Paralysis is a mixed highlight for me, despite the lyrics being especially repetitive, just because of how grand the ending sounds and how the eerier chord progression brings at least something new to the album.

Also, really quick before I wrap it up, why the fuck is 20 Years not in the album? It’s in an EP they released the same year which features Cardiac Arrest, Transpose and Salt and it would easily be my favorite track if it was in the tracklist, maybe because it’s just really relatable to me how your teen years pass without you noticing, but it’s also so mellow and would bring such a refreshing little moment in the record.

My difficulties with this album is that I do like and see myself in the future bumping a lot of these songs individually, if I shut down a few parts of my brain and disregard half the lyrics, but when they’re all crumbled together into a project, their single qualities fade and their flaws unite to form a pretty unsatisfying listen; nearly all songs feel static, formulaic, and don’t progress or amount to much – which is pretty noticeable if you realize all songs span from 3:03 to 3:53 minutes - and the instrumentation brings almost nothing to the overall experience, it’s pretty much a backdrop for Bowman to sing his heart over, without much personality of its own. So while it’s not awful, it’s not good either.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Dancing on Quicksand, Rearview

LEAST FAVORITE TRACKS: Learn to Trust, Take My Love and Run

 4.7/10

“You let your hair down, your face is made up, you know this town so well”

 COIN – How Will You Know If You Never Try

COIN is the least familiar band of the three here, as I’ve only heard Growing Pains from them and I don’t remember anything from the track, but as a quick intro, the band is from Nashville, Tennessee and consisted of 4 members: Chase Lawrence on vocals and synthesizer, Ryan Winnen on drums, Joe Memmel on guitar and backing vocals, and Zach Dyke on bass until he left two years ago.

After listening to the first three tracks of the album, my expectations were pretty high, but after finishing, I feel like this album is reminiscent of a poorly-heated microwave meal: the first three tracks are decreasingly good, the middle of the album is raw, and the last three go back to being increasingly good, with the only exception being the bright spot that is track 7, Heart Eyes, a romantic, entrancing little jam that I can’t help but love.

My big grip with HWYKIYNT is that, for 11 tracks, COIN doesn’t let go of the ear-destroying instrumental breakdowns (it’s not like it’s heavy metal or anything, but the mixing makes it sound like the guitars blow up at some points), tuned up guitars and formulaic song structures, and that leads to many tracks becoming rather forgettable amongst the others. There are, of course, exceptions, but they’re few and I’d say not well-located within the album: Don’t Cry, 2020 is the big standout in the album for me, and I fell in love with it first listen (the context of today being 2020 also helps, I guess), Boyfriend’s defining synth-line and bubblegum qualities make for a lot of enjoyment, especially paired with the light-hearted passive-aggressiveness and rejection on the lyrics, and Talk Too Much, their biggest song, has some cute little lyrics, and an ultra-pop hook that centers the whole song around it and is impossible not so sing along to; but immediately after, the album starts to slow down its hype with I Don’t Wanna Dance, which has an appealing vocal performance by Chase, and starts promisingly with the synths, but is too simple to go anywhere.

Hannah is probably the most forgettable song here, and brings absolutely nothing to the album, and Are We Alone?’s lyrics are cute and focused but really simplistic; in this song specifically, I think the breakdown the band employs right after the hook is really unnecessary, and the song would do better without it. After that is Heart Eyes, which I’ve mentioned before as one of my favorites, mostly because it tones it down a bit, something that really needed to happen at some point this deep into the record.

The song Lately II contains the hidden track Nothing Matters and deals with Chase losing his newborn nephew, a sequel to Lately off the band’s debut album. On the outside, it sounds like just another cheerful song, but the lyrics taken into context I’m sure are very meaningful to Chase and his family; besides that I enjoy the heavier drums in this track and the loose vocal melodies right after the chorus, plus the closing instrumentals are also a nice addition, but I don’t really understand the need to include a hidden track into it; I understand the themes are intertwined, but it could have very well been a separate track, and the way it is slightly harms the song when isolated from the album into, for example, a playlist or a one-time listen, but whatever.

I don’t have much to say about Feeling, it’s your average hype indie-rock track, something you’d maybe hear in a FIFA video game soundtrack, but to its credit, it doesn’t go overboard in itself, the vocals and guitar performances feel very grounded and safe, in a good way. And to finish this off, Miranda Beach brings some solid guitars to the table, they feel very textured and pierce through every other sound; the song is definitely one of the most infectious and ear-catching on here. Closing it all up, Malibu 1992 is the slow jam the album was in need of for 11 tracks. Very stripped back and patient compared to the rest of the song, which makes it stand out naturally, but that doesn’t mean the song is superb or anything, it’s just a refreshing taste.

Throughout a lot of the tracks here I was waiting for something more, a slightly different approach to a song, more introspective lyrics, but it never really came in a way that stood out, and because of that, the start of the album ends up more solid than the rest of it, in my opinion. It isn’t a bad album, but it isn’t amazing either. I feel it’s very derivative, the lyrics are not a standout, and while some songs may be bops, I don’t feel it is strong as a whole project.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Don’t Cry, 2020; Miranda Beach; Talk Too Much; Heart Eyes

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Hannah

 I’m feeling a strong 5 to a light 6 on this one. 

“You’re so concerned about your future, yeah, but tomorrow’s just another day.”

[tokendisastergay]

Quarantine Diary, lovingly referred to as quarantime: (this is 100% for me to look back on and remember how i spend my time when left to my own devices, also hopefully so i am slightly productive in a day)

DAY ONE: I think I might lose my mind. This morning I got a new game for myself and spent a good portion of the day playing that. I also taught myself the beginning of Halloween from Rent on piano. At night I really started to lose it and watched a full lengtg documentary on foreign surrogacy. As of now I go back to school on the 31st

DAY TWO: I’m not sure I’ll survive for two weeks, but much less a whole month. School got pushed back to April 15th. Help me. I once again spelt an embarrassing amount of my day playing two separate games I’ve just started. I also taught myself most of Johnny Can’t Decide from Tick Tick Boom on piano, however since my wrist is broken and Jonathan Larson has abnormally long fingers some of the chords posed a minor challenge. It was also Saint Patrick’s day, so my dad put on Irish punk music for my baby brother (and us) and we made cabbage, fake corn beef because we’re vegetarian, and french fries because the store didn’t have potatoes in any other form.

DAY THREE: Having a sense of time is only a distant memory. I’m running low on lucky charms. My herbs did sprout this morning though so that was pretty thrilling. I taught the baby what noise the cow makes. Spoiler: it was moo. Me and my dad made veggie burgers, and then had our first tabletop game night in months. (We used to do it every thursday, but we’ve been way too busy for that recently).

DAY FOUR: I wasn’t sure if this belonged in yesterday’s or not but technically it was this morning because it was so late at night, but I officially got the first scene of the screenplay I’m currently writing done! I’m writing it specifically for a film festival for short films, and I only really have one *very long* scene left!! I woke up, and immediately took a nap because it was like 6. I cooked me and the baby breakfast and then composed a whole two measures for the score. Currently playing the “sit on the kitchen floor and fake sip unopened gatorade, and then say “ahhhh”” game. (after i wrote this I also went for a run, i ran a sub thirty minute three miles!)

DAY FIVE: animalcrossinganimalcrossinganimalcrossinganimalcrossing also I drew Cthulhu (I end every one of my sketchbooks with a Cthulhu, perhaps I will post my first Cthulhu vs most recent Cthulhu) I also ran way too aggressively yesterday because I am Sore.

DAY SIX:

very little change. Piano, animal crossing, etc. I did listen to A Chorus Line today; I got really into A Class Act, which is a show about Edward Kleban, the dude who wrote A Chous Line’s life. I remember listening to that in the car with my dad when I was really little, but then again I remember listening to Book of Mormon with him around then as well, so it probably wasn’t the best way to judge what the show was going to be like. (Fun fact my dad also took me to see Book of Mormon when I was 11!) But I also know my grandmother really likes it and so I just thought it’d be a little more Watch With Your Grandma Friendly. It was not. Not like,, super inappropriate just not what I was expecting

DAY SEVEN:

Again, I’ve learned I only have so many activities. I’m trying really hard to think of another idea for my screenplay, since there is absolutely no way for me to get enough middle aged people to film the one I was planning. I was also on call with my bf for four hours straight today so that was fun

DAY EIGHT:

Worst day by far. I didn’t do much of anything, and I feel really guilty about how little I got accomplished. That’s about it.

DAY NINE:

Got a lot accomplished!!! I organized my whole desk (which, for context towards the end I was getting to things from 2014, that’s how big of a job this was) I also started my vocab for one of my classes, and I set up my journal for next month! I thought I’d start using it a little more since I have nothing else to do, plus updating this every day has hopefully gotten me back into the habit of actually using something daily.

DAY TEN

Okay honestly it’s been a minute since I updated this so I don’t really remember what I did,, but I’ll use this day to define what I’ve been doing daily. I’m pretty sure I haven’t say yet, but I’ve been stretching every day. I used to be a very serious gymnast, but I got to the point where essentially I had to choose between attending public school, or continuing with gymnastics, and like the average parent of a twelve year old, my dad was not about to let me stop going to school for something I physically couldn’t keep doing past my mid twenties. But I really miss having any control over my body, so I’ve decided I’m commiting to trying to gain back a little flexibility. It drives me crazy, I do theater obviously and the fact I’m such a mediocre dancer now is not doing good things for my ego

DAY ELEVEN

DAY TWELVE

DAY THIRTEEN

DAY FOURTEEN

I ran pretty well today. Sub nine minute miles, not super speedy, but fast for me at least. I mean I ran two miles in close to 15 minutes, so if I can do that for another mile I’d PR my 5k time for sure. Other than that, I procrastinated my speech, but I did get a bit of it done tonight on call with my boyfriend

DAY FIFTEEN

The speech was really eating me up. In an effort to ignore it I blew through 200 pages worth of a book today. I had a call for my acting class from 5:30-8:30, and I’m kinda looking forward to some of the stuff we’re doing in there. I start school again tomorrow and I have never been so excited for school to start back up in my life (and I’m never particularly unhappy; I quite enjoy the first week of a new school year)

DAY SIXTEEN

So school was kinda a dud. The website couldn’t support every kid in the county trying to get on it at once so it just,,, didn’t work. I spent most of the day filming my speech and I’m superrrr proud of it (I love giving speeches with all my heart, I go so overboard when we get assigned them for school though, no one else put as much effort into theirs as I did)

DAY SEVENTEEN

I got all of my class work for the week done, except for one class that isn’t doing it the way the rest of mine are. Don’t really remember what else happened today

DAY ???: I got my last two lab reports done. Also it was easter, so we hid eggs for the baby and looked longingly at the Easter egg bread we made (half jewish half italian, an unfortunate combination during Passover) Got my three hour mandates boyfriend call in and we looked at early humans and what we evolved from. Turns out I hate looking at that shit and I think Lucy will never leave the realm of my mind

DAY ???: Not a super interesting one but a good one. I filmed a monologue for my long form improv class, and did it on my Fancy Filmmaking Camera, which was completely unnecessary but very fun. We did have to deal with some legal stuff that I both don’t feel comfortable sharing and don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable with. I had acting class, and that was absolutely it. Today my boyfriend and I talked about how shitty cops are, and his adventures in growing vegetables

[dolantwinsfavss]

Two Broken Hearts Part 2 {g.d}

Part 1 // Masterlist

For the past couple of days, you thought your feelings for Grayson would fade away, instead they did the complete opposite. Every time you would be in the same room as him, your heart would begin to race, a smile would appear on your face as you daydreamed about him, and every time you walked into the room, your eyes immediately searched for his. You couldn’t deny that everything you had felt was nothing because it meant something. Something you didn’t understand yet.

However, you had also noticed how Grayson was around you. Purposely bumping into you so you would smile at him, wherever you sat he would be right next to you, and he even seemed happier... opening more of himself to you, something he rarely did other than with Ethan.

Maybe he had feelings for you too... Just maybe. Or at least that’s what you hoped.

Today the twins had plans to go on a hike with your brother and his girlfriend. You, however, agreed to drive your brother and his girlfriend to the twins’ house, but decided to stay back since you “weren’t feeling well.” But the truth was you didn’t want to be alone. Every group you were apart of, you found yourself being excluded from everyone, seeming as if it didn’t even matter if you were there or not.

When you arrived at their house, you saw Ethan putting his stuff into his trunk. “Hey guys!” Ethan said as you all stepped out of the car and started to walk towards his Jeep.

“Hi.” We all said at the same time as your brother and his girlfriend put their bags into the car while you stood around them.

“Y/N are you sure you don’t want to come with us? It’ll be a lot of fun.” Your brother’s girlfriend asked for the third time today.

“No I’m not going. I’m not fe-”

“Wait you’re not going?” You heard Grayson say. You didn’t need to see who it was, you could recognize his voice anywhere. 

“Oh hey Grayson...,” Here comes the butterflies again. “And yeah I don’t think I’m going to go. I’m not really feeling well.” You said looking down at your shoes before looking up at him and seeing the flash of disappointment in his eyes. It was subtle, but it was there.

“B-But are you sure? We’re going to head to the beach after and get some food. Plus I just got home! We haven’t hung out in so long!” He said trying to persuade you in any way to go with them.

“Yeah I’m sure and I know. But I don’t really want to barge in on your guys’ hangout. Plus I don’t have any other clothes to wear.” 

“I think Cameron left some clothes here on accident last time she came to visit. You can borrow some of her’s! I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” 

“Grayson... It’s okay. Really. You don’t ha-” Before you could finish your sentence, he was grabbing your wrist and leading you to their guest house.

He handed you some clothes and said, “Here. You can change in here, I’ll be right outside if you need me,” before walking out the door.

After Grayson left, you spotted one of the swimsuits from the twins’ merch and quickly put it on before putting on the rest of the clothes. You opened the door as Grayson looked up from his phone and gave you a sweet smile, “You ready?”

You smiled back at him and said, “Yeah I’m ready.”

As the five of you were driving to your destination, you were all singing at the top of your lungs with the windows down having the time of your lives. You caught Grayson looking and smiling back at you from the passenger’s seat through the side mirror which you gladly returned. Maybe today was going to be a good day after all. 

While hiking, you kind of stayed back from the rest of the group since everyone else had a friend, but you. That was until you guys found a lake and some cliffs to jump off of. As everyone changed into their swimsuits, you heard someone say, “Hey nice swimsuit. Where’d you get it?”

You turned around and saw Grayson smiling at you before lightly chuckling and saying, “Sorry I saw it and there wasn’t really anything else to we-”

“Don’t worry about it bubs. Keep it. It looks good on you.” He quickly said causing you to look away with a huge grin on your face as you felt the blush rise to your cheeks. Grayson Dolan what are you doing to me?

“Come on guys! Let’s go!” You both heard Ethan yell as he ran to the top of the cliff and jumped into the river below, followed by your brother and his girlfriend.

“You heard him. Come on let’s go.” You said as you started to run towards the cliff and Grayson following close behind you. As you were running you somehow misplaced your foot and felt yourself beginning to fall until you felt someone’s arm wrap around your waist to keep you from falling.

“Whoa. You okay?” Grayson said looking down at you with those sparkling eyes of his as his arm was still wrapped around you. Holy fuck they look so good. He looks so good.

“I- I um...” You couldn’t get the words out of your mouth, you were too distracted by his touch. His touch that made your skin tingle.

He laughed at your loss of words and said, “You’re welcome,” before walking ahead of you and reaching out his hand for you to take. “Come on let’s go. Don’t want you falling anymore.”

You hesitantly reached for his hand as he lead the both of you to the top of the cliff.

“What took you guys so long? Get down here! The water feels amazing!” Your brother yelled from below.

Grayson was ready to jump into the water as you peered from above contemplating if this was a good idea. He noticed your behavior and squeezed your hand, making you realize that you both never let go of each other. It was something that made your heart happy, a feeling you felt all day when you were with him.

“Come on. I got you. We’ll do this together.” He said giving you some reassurance.

And that was all you needed. “Together.” You breathed out before counting down and jumped off the cliff and into the water. You both resurfaced and joined the rest of the group.

The five of you spent the rest of the time in the water just relaxing and messing around. You saw Grayson getting out of the water before you decided to splash him and started to laugh. He turned around and raised an eyebrow, “Oh you think that’s funny?”

“Actually yeah I do.” You said back but before you knew it, Grayson came charging at you and picked you up effortlessly and threw you back into the water.

As you resurfaced, he said with a smirk on his face, “Not so funny now, now is it?” before he walked away. Soon enough, the five of you agreed that it was time to go and grab some food. While you were all drying off and getting redressed, you couldn’t help but stare at Grayson. The way the sun reflected off of his body, the way his side profile was nothing but perfection, just everything about him was indescribable.

You guys left the mountains and grabbed some food before taking it to the beach where you set up a bonfire while the sun began to set. You all sat in a group surrounding the fire before the boys decided to take a swim into the ocean, leaving you and your brother’s girlfriend by the fire.

“Hey pretty girl.” She said as she sat next to you. She was like a sister to you and you were glad to have her in your life.

“Hey.” You said back before turning your head towards the sunset when you were really watching Grayson run towards the ocean.

“What’s up with you and Grayson? You know you’ve been staring at him all day right?” She asked slightly nudging you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” You said trying to avoid the conversation, but you knew she wouldn’t let go until she got an answer.

“Come on don’t lie to me. I saw you staring at him when you thought no one else was looking. I know a crush when I see one.”

“Whoa whoa whoa. Okay yes I’ve been staring at him, but I can’t help it. I mean hello? Have you seen him? And no I don’t have a crush on him.” You said hoping to hide the truth you still were not sure about.

“Oh please. You can deny it all you want but I’m calling it now.”

“Okay so what if I had the smallest bit of feelings for him? It’s not like he would even feel the same way...” You said honestly as you began to draw mindlessly in the sand. 

“Hey listen to me. I haven’t known Grayson for too long but I can tell that guy has one of the purest hearts for the people he cares about, and you’re one of them. He probably cares a lot more than you know.” She said softly.

“I know he cares... It’s just that I don’t think it’s going to happen.” You finally said out loud. Maybe hearing it out loud would put you into reality. A reality you wished was nothing but a fear.

“If it makes you feel better, I saw the way he was with you today. I knew he really wanted you to be here with us and when you said you weren’t feeling well, I saw a flash of sadness in his eyes. And when you were with him today, he just seemed happier than he was before. Plus he could not stop staring at you when he first saw you in the swimsuit from their merch.” She said earning a slight chuckle from you. “Just... don’t give up so easily okay?”

“I’ll try not to...” You said giving her a sweet smile before you both saw Grayson running up to you both.

“Hey guys what’s up?” Grayson said sitting next to you.

“Hey.” You said while giving him a soft smile.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Your brother’s girlfriend said getting up and running towards Ethan and your brother who were still down by the water, not before giving you a quick wink which caused you to roll your eyes at her.

“What was that about?” Grayson asked with a confused look on his face.

“I don’t know, but you’re soaking wet and you’re getting water all over me.” You said before tossing a towel at him that hit is face.

“Oh sorry am I?” Grayson said before getting up and shaking his whole body over you like a wet dog, resulting in getting more water on you.

“Okay! Okay! Stop!” You said while laughing and putting your hands up by your face, trying your best to shield yourself from the water flying off of his body. 

 Grayson sat back down next to you as you grabbed the towel you threw at him earlier to wipe the unnecessary water that was on now on you before he snatched it back and actually began to use it. “Payback for throwing the towel at my face.”

“Okay but you really didn’t need to get water on me either.” You said nudging him slightly.

You two sat in silence for a little while before he asked, “Hey were you not really going to come today just because you weren’t feeling well?”

You debated on answering him as you went back to drawing mindlessly in the sand before you said, “Yes and no.”

He waited for your response, trying to get you to look at him, but you knew this was something he wasn’t going to let go. So you took a deep breath and said, “The truth is I didn’t want to be alone.”

“W-What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” He said trying to find your eyes.

“I didn’t want to come because I didn’t want to be alone. Every friend group I’ve been apart of, I just have always found myself being on the outside like as if it didn’t matter if I was there or not.” You said still looking down, not daring to look into Grayson’s eyes.

He still didn’t say anything which made you worry. “You know what? Just forget about it. It was stupid anyway... Sorry.” You said laughing at yourself. This was going to be something you would embarrassed about forever.

“Hey listen to me,” He said still trying to get you to look at him until he made you look at him by placing his fingers under your chin. “It’s not stupid. It’s not stupid at all actually. I know how you feel. I’m like that all of the time. You’re not alone in this. Don’t ever think that you’re alone, especially when you’re with me or E. We’re always going to be here for you. I’m always going to be here for you.” 

Your brother’s girlfriend was right. Grayson has one of the purest hearts on this Earth. His intimidating figure may not seem like it, but he is truly one of best people on this Earth. 

You finally looked up at him and didn’t realize how close you were until now. His eyes were looking at you so softly, like how every girl wished they were looked at by their crush. Everything in this moment made you realize, Maybe I do have feelings for him. 

But the question was did he?

@kawennote09 @fireghost-x @this-and-that-with-meghan @maria190702