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angelicmichael · 3 years

Note

Oohh, could you please write the nonsexual prompt sharing a dessert for Outpost Michael and reader? Who wouldn't want to share a dessert with him? Thank you so much. You really are an angel 😇

A/N: anon you are too fucking sweet omg 🥺💖 I hope I didnt dissapoint with this, I'm sorry it's so late and unnecessarily long!! Lmfao. The dessert eating is at the end if anyone wants to just skip to that part hehe. I wanted to write some mutual pining so.. that's why this fic is so fucking long lol

Warnings: eating, food, lil bit of sexual tension, very brief mentions of Millory and also Gallant x Michael 👉🏻👈🏻

Living in Outpost three was beyond miserable. Constantly being treated as a second class citizen, as a gray, was definetly doing its number on you.. Every day that you continued to stay alive in this hellhole you swore you slowly descended further and further into madness. Eating gelatin cubes.. being around the same exact people, day in and day out.. with nothing else to do but to clean, with no end in sight was only a recipe for disaster.

And disaster seemed to come with a name; Langdon.

You didnt believe him when he announced that he was going to pick a select few to take with him to the sanctuary; you knew that was fucking bullshit.. but you had to admit - it was amusing watching the other outpost residents finally get a spark of excitament in their eyes. A reason to be alive.

You watched him take interest in mainly Gallant and Mallory; and that's when you felt something.. distant yet familar. Yearning; attraction, and maybe even jealousy.

It reminded and made you nostalgic of old emotions that you used to feel regularly; which now only visited you vaguely whenever you caught Michael stare for a second too long at either of them.. but it wasnt your job to monitor the relationships that were allegedly occurring.

You kept your head down until you begrudgingly got an interview; honestly surprised at first that Langdon seemed to be giving you a shot at salvation at all.

You were even more surprised at how the actual interview seemed to unfold; how disgustingly touch starved you were and the way in which you reacted to him. You were praying that Langdon didnt notice how your entire body was littered with goosebumps the second he touched you - a harmless gesture with his hand lightly touching your back when he walked by. Or the pure exhilaration you felt when he brushed a tear away from your cheek.. It was honestly embarrassing.

Even more embarrassing was how much you craved to see Langdon again as soon as you left the first interview.

The days following the first initial interview were torturous for you. Your days and even nights became infested with thoughts of Langdon; his blonde locks and light blue eyes even started to follow you and become familar in dreams..

You couldnt stop thinking about him.

You knew it was stupid to crave romance; it was utterly irrational. For one, if Venable were to even catch you looking at Langdon for a couple seconds too long - you knew she would want your head on a stick. That's not even to mention how jealous Gallant and the other residents would possibly be, if anything were to happen.

These thoughts were not realistic though because you knew Langdon never viewed you like that. He treated you just as he did anyone else.. maybe even worse. He always kept his words short with you and rarely made eye contact most days.

For those reasons; you wrote off your newfound romantic thoughts about Langdon as nothing more but dumb daydreams. Just something to keep you occupied in the day while you tried to make the outpost look spotless. You figured it was a result of being beyond bored; your mind trying to find something to make life interesting once more. Anything.

That was.. until Langdon invited you for another interview. One interview quickly turned into another.. and another.. and another until seeing Langdon privately was nearly the new normal.

The more you two continued to meet; the more your feelings for him only grew but you still chose to conceal them - well, to the best of your abilities anyway.. there was only much you could hide. However; if you didnt know Langdon prematurely, you wouldve thought he was a idiot or just purely naive for not picking up on the obvious crush you had.

It had been a couple nights now since you had last seen him.. And yet here you were; having another sleepless night that consisted of thinking of dumbass Langdon.

You stayed awake sleepless in your bed. Or.. the bed that was meant to be yours anyway. Nothing like felt home or like it was truly yours at Outpost Three though. You stared at the ceiling hopelessly; wishing you would be so lucky to feel a wave of drowsiness that could hit you and carry you off to your dreams.

You immeadietly sat up and nearly jolted out of bed when you heard three loud knocks rattle your door. The sound was distinct but haunting.. your immediate thought was Venable.. you could only help but to think what the fuck you had recently done to piss her off.

You swiftly walked through the nearly pitch black room and opened the door absentmindedly; trying to not let your paranoid thoughts control your actions and let you hesitate.. just in case it happened to be Langdon.

You would be lying if you were to say that you werent dissapointed when you found no one there; only a letter lay folded neatly on the floor.. directly in front of you.

Snatching it and opening it within the safety of your room; you had to hold back laughter when it was from Langdon - another invitation to go see him.. but it was marked urgent.

You nearly dropped the letter on the floor immeadietly; it wasnt as if you had anything else to do - you already knew you werent going to be able to sleep tonight anyway. You immeadietly took off, albeit as quietly as possible, off to Langdons office. Trying to keep your thoughts of what the hell he wanted to see you so badly for, at bay.

When you reached his room, you didnt bother knocking. You slipped right inside - knowing that knocking would only possibly wake Venable up or alert other residents of your whereabouts. Shutting the door behind you, you slowly approached him.

He sat at his desk; quickly turning around to face you as you entered. His light, ocean colored eyes were wide in what you could only guess was surprise that you came so soon. His mouth was slightly curved into a subtle smile.

"Hi". You uttered with a airy, soft laugh.

You first stood, knowing he would most likely want you to take a seat but you would rather wait for instructions than to just.. assume. You knew Michael had little to no tolerance but surely enough, he nodded at the seat that was directly across from his at the desk.

"Sit". Michael instructed, his gaze followed you as you steadfastly did as you were told.

You realized how carefully Michael was studying you as you walked over and took your seat.. and maybe it was because of the absolutely horrible lighting but you could swear you could almost see blood rushing to his cheeks..

Was he.. blushing??

You sat, completely puzzled as you watched Michael suddenly act flustered.. His motions changing from smooth and calculated to nearly awkward.. and.. just rather odd in a instant. He looked as if he wanted to say something but no words were spoken, that is - until you made the first move.

"Is something.. wrong"? You asked, trying your hardest to bite back laughter.

Seeing Langdon act so.. not like himself was basically pure comedy to you. Although you would never admit that outloud of course.

He now looked uncomfortable; licking his lips and clasping his hands together at the table before speaking.

"(Y/n), I have to talk to you about something". Michael admitted.

His expression changed from looking rather nervous to serious again; his mouth in a straight line and the muscles in his face relaxed.

You were quite literally sitting on the edge of your seat, your stomach started to do somersaults as you desperately tried to rationally think of what he wanted to say..

"Yeah, of course. What's wrong"? You prompted, your voice coming across as unsteady.

You tried your hardest to not let your voice shake as you spoke, although you were more than certain it showcased exactly how you felt.

Langdon unfolded his hands; appearing to study his rings momentarily before his blue eyes pierced yours - looking as if they were staring right past you.. Not necessarily at you at all.

"Look; theres nothing wrong. You just need to know that theres no need to be nervous around me anymore". Langdon stated matter of factly.

He maintained eye contact with you; diligently waiting for a response as you actually tried to comprehend what he was saying.. Was he implying that you were going to the sanctuary?? Or.. possibly even something else?? Something more?

Your confusion must've been apparent on your face because before you could say anything, Langdon cut in.

"That's not why I asked you to be here with me tonight though. I wanted to.. reward you". He said.

You felt as if your heart had skipped a beat; nearly feeling woozy as your cheeks heated up. A reward?? Saying you felt speechless was a incredible understatement.

"A reward"?? You echoed your thoughts aloud.

Your words came out slow and strained with pure anticipation for what was to perhaps happen. You thought for a split second this had to be some kind of sick joke, or some kind of sick manipulation game. You wouldnt really be surprised; you overheard from the others he was famous for pulling that kind of shit.

"Yes, For giving me company. Close your eyes". Michael answered.

You immeadietly, and dumbly followed orders. However; as soon as you closed your eyes you felt fear pierce your heart. The uncertainty and possibilities of what could happen was jarring - but you had to admit it was also thrilling.

The past few months had been so fucking predictable and boring, a bit of excitement was well over due and actually.. probably healthy. Even if it was fucking terrifying.

You could hear him moving, and then something being placed on his desk in front of you. You first felt your eyebrows furrow as you opened your eyes unwillingly. Pure surprise forcing you to do so and to disobey Langdon.. oh fuck.

You opened your mouth to utter an apology but.. your gaze first caught onto the object in front of you.. leaving you speechless and with your mouth agape.

You marveled at the small slice of cheesecake was that put in front of you.. It looked entirely to good to be true; this had to be a dream.. or maybe a nightmare??

This last time you had eaten anything with any kind of remote flavour had been eons ago. Those memories served you well and made your horrifically boring days a little less painful.

You continued to blankly stare at it; not daring to move, or breathe but.. to just enjoy the view. You were half expecting for this to be some of torture again; for him to rip it away from you but a part of you reassured you that.. this was different. This was him trying, and being genuine.

You looked up to meet Langdons eyes as they intently studied you. A faint smile gracing the corner of his lips. A beautiful sight you rarely got the priviledge of admiring.

"Have some". Michael said, nodding down in direction of the dessert. "I thought you would appreciate the gesture. I cant imagine the shit Venable gives you is enjoyable". Michael sneered with a hint of laughter.

You couldnt help but to let out a giggle as well, looking down once more and noticing that the plate was also embellished with two forks.

"Thank you, Michael. You should have some too though, I dont want to be selfish-" You started, unfolding your hands from your lap and beginning to push the plate towards him.

He quickly stood up and walked up to you, stopping until he was beside you. He grabbed your wrist, tight enough to make you wince but not enough to cause any actual pain - making eye contact again.

"No.. I want to watch you have the first bite". Langdon said.

In a split second, the chair that was once behind his desk materialized right next to you, directly behind him. He sat down, watching you intently as you started to feel stupidly nervous again.

Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to grab the fork, swiftly taking a piece and then quickly consuming it. You figured the faster you took the first bite - the less nervous you would be.. but his gaze continued to linger on you; intensely watching.

The pleasure you were momentarily wrapped in was insurmountable to anything you had previously felt in months. You had to ground yourself in order to not let a moan escape your mouth.. The rich flavor tasting so unreal; almost too good to be true.

To be completely honest, you forgot that Langdon was there at all until you noticed him grab a fork as well. Also taking a bite and continuing to watch you - clearly amused with your reaction.

You two continued to eat in silence; meanwhile you momentarily began to get lost in your own thoughts yet again. You knew he didnt have to do this; he very well could've just.. had the dessert with someone else, like Mallory, or even enjoyed it by himself, but he purposefully chose you...

Your cheeks grew hot at the thought of how he seemed to subtly state that he returned your affection. You knew there was no way that he didnt know that you harbored feelings for him; the way in which you acted flustered in his prescience had to be a dead give away.

An hour or so later you walked back to your room; the night slowly cutting into the early hours of the morning but you really couldnt care less. You really didnt care about anything, even if Venable found you. The last thought you had before you took a very shortlived nap, was how much of a sneaky bastard Langdon truly was.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance

#michael x reader #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfic #michael langdon fanfiction #ahs fanfiction #asks #anon #my fic #lemme know if yall wanna be on the taglist #i hope this is good LMAO i feel like the beginning is wonky but.. idk. i hope michael isnt ooc 😬#this has so much unnecessary detail but im not even sorry djdjd #reader is also a simp for a michael lmfao #also i chose cheesecake for the dessert cause im a hoe for cheesecake and thats the first dessert i thought of 😭

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liquorisce · 3 years

Text

reading between the lines (High School Years, Ch 2)

pairing: eren x mikasa (shingeki no kyojin) // mild erehisu, yumihisu

rating: t

summary: (modern au) Junior year is difficult, especially for Mikasa, because it turns out Eren’s decided to test the dating scene.

(banter, jealousy... and lots of feelings)

part 1 | read on ao3

A/N: this chapter has been a long time coming (5 years omg), and tbh I have a lovely anon to thank, who messaged me asking for a sequel to hsy, which made me actually want to put down my scrambled headcanons on paper. if you're reading this anon, i'm truly grateful for the push you gave me.

NOTE: although i intended a sequel, this is a COMPANION fic to chapter 1, it is meant to fill up the gaps in the story that the previous chapter didnt tell you. i hope you enjoy :)

Today was not one of Eren’s favourite days, for 2 reasons. For one, the day started off with … an encounter. Two, today they would be getting the results of their final trig assessment, which Eren knows perfectly well he didn’t have a chance of passing.

The ‘encounter’ happens pretty much without preamble.

…

“… Hey, it’s Eren, right?” He turns around from his conversation with Armin, to see the same guy from a couple of weeks ago, the one who was talking about Mikasa, and her pretty hair. (he wasn’t wrong)

“Yeah?” He does his best not to let the subconscious irritation seep into his tone.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day,” the guy with the oddly horse-shaped face says, “… My name’s Jean.”

“… Nice to meet you,” he says awkwardly delivering his dishonest words.

“… So, I wanted to be straight up with you,” Jean says, cheeks oddly pink. “About Mikasa… and you. I’ve heard some rumours, and I thought it best to address it with you directly, because I really don’t want to cause any trouble.” Clearing his throat, he says, “Are you guys… y’know, together?”

It’s in the way Jean speaks, he thinks, or the way he talks about Mikasa (or even thinks of her?) - it makes him want to ram his fist right in the middle of his ugly face. And because he was too busy clenching his fists to actually respond, Armin says with a laugh, “… Ah, don’t worry, Mikasa is totally single.”

And then proceeds to wink at Jean.

Eren can barely believe his eyes and ears. And once Jean is out of earshot he hisses, “… what the fuck, Armin?”

Armin blinks up at him innocently. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“… You didn’t have to encourage him,” Eren mumbles petulantly, when he admits to himself that Armin did, in fact, say nothing wrong.

“Erm, why not?” He sighs, “Look, I know you… worry about Mikasa,” Armin keeps his tone as neutral and veiled as possible, because worried is definitely not all Eren feels for Mikasa, “… but Jean is a good guy! And if anyone deserves attention from a good guy, it’s her.”

…

ii.

She finds him lurking near his locker, stuffing his crumpled papers in, probably wishing away their existence.

“That bad, huh?” She asks, hiding away her grin at his predictable reaction. Eren has always been predisposed too sulking - whether he was a 7-year-old who wasn’t the fastest on the field or 16-something and having just received his trigonometry results.

“… You look like you did just fine,” he mutters, not having to see the A+ on her paper to know that Mikasa had no problem acing the trig test (or any other test).

“You could just ask me for help, Eren. I could help you out for the retakes,” she offers softly, not for the first time.

He sighs. When he glances at her, dark eyes offering earnestly, he knows she means it without any pride or arrogance, but he isn’t able to suppress the prick of his own ego that has him mumbling, “… the mandatory remedial lessons should do just fine.”

…

iii.

When he shows up for class, he sees only a couple of others unfamiliar faces, so he curses under his breath at his own ineptitude towards mathematics for getting him in this situation and takes a spot at the back of the class.

The Support teacher - Erd, he calls himself, apparently too young to be addressed ‘Mr.’ or any of that - seems just as tired as the rest of them, sighing at the lack of answers, obviously frustrated at the complete lack of interest or gratitude of the teenagers in front of him.

So, 20 minutes into the 1-hour lesson, when the short blonde walks in, out-of-breath and apologetic, the sarcasm in his tone is biting. “You’ve already missed 1/3rd of this class, you might as well have stayed out entirely and practiced your cheer routines.”

Eren watches sympathetically at the visible cringe on Krista’s face and offers her an empathetic smile as she takes the seat next to him.

Later when they’ve been informed that the retake is just an assignment filled with proofs and average difficulty problems that they can do in pairs, he looks at Krista, the only known person in the room.

They weren’t that close, but they had quite a few mutual friends what with him playing basketball and her being part of the cheer team. So, when she says, “… see you at the library tomorrow evening?” with a pretty smile across her pretty features, he grins gratefully.

She doesn’t struggle with trig even half as much as he does. In fact, she seemed to be happy to do most of the work herself and explain her solutions - if he actually had the interest to understand them.

“I don’t understand,” he admits after she solves the 5th problem in a row effortlessly, “you seem to have everything down already. How come you didn’t pass the test?”

Her eyes skittered nervously away from him. “I was… sick,” she mutters. “I couldn’t really focus.”

He eyes her closely, observing the sudden change in her countenance. Usually Krista was all easy smiles, twinkle in her blue eyes. Now, she looks uneasy, unwell almost. Deciding it wasn’t his place to pry, “… Well, I guess I turned out to be the lucky one in all this,” he grins, “… I get to hang out with you and have you do my assignment.”

She rolls her eyes. To be honest, she’d enjoyed the past couple of evenings with him. Eren was easy to talk to, despite being somewhat of an airhead and being completely incapable of anything remotely math related. But regardless, he made her laugh and just about forget what happened the morning before she showed up for this test, with fresh tears choking her throat, and purpling bruises on her thighs.

“I guess you owe me then,” she quips back, smugly.

“… I definitely do,” he says smoothly, green eyes watching her in a way that makes her feel warm. “How can I make it up to you?”

Flustered, because she hadn’t expected his easy response, she mumbles, “… Dinner?” And with red cheeks hidden by her blonde bangs, she whispers, “I like pizza.”

…

iv.

She finds him at the end of the day, on one of the wooden tables outside the basketball court, chin resting in his hands, eyes glued to his laptop.

“… Hey,” she breathes, giggling when startled green eyes flash up to her, body jerking in surprise.

“Damn, you got me,” he grins, pushing his laptop away and leaning up for a brief kiss. She’s happy to return it, and she lets her fingers wind into his hair, enjoying it for a moment longer.

“Mmm,” she mumbles, “I saw you closing that browser window,” she teases, wrestling control of his laptop, “watcha lookin’ at?”

When she manages to open his browser history – much to Eren’s protest – her eyes widen. “Women’s dresses, spring collection??” She waggles her eyebrows at him.

“… It’s not for me,” he grumbles, deciding to make it painstakingly clear before Krista enthusiastically begins to tell him what dress would suit him the most – he knows his girlfriend, crossdressing would be absolutely acceptable, if not encouraged – and he watches her eyes feign disappointment.

“… Boring,” she sighs, rolling her pretty blue eyes, “I don’t see how you’re not curious about how you look in a dress,” – she gasps, hand flying over her mouth, “Wait… was that… a surprise… for me?”

“… Um,” Eren starts, intelligently, because the situation that was already awkward in his opinion, just became even more so. “Well,” he gulps, taking in the sparkle in her eyes, knowing fully well just how much she likes surprises, feeling guilty even thought he needn’t be, “itsformikasa.”

He hangs his head in apparent apology, but more so because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment flit across her features.

“… Oh.”

He chances a glance at her, and there’s no particular emotion per se, and it worries him, because she gets this faraway look in her eye sometimes, and he can’t really tell what’s going on, and they’ve only been together a few months and he’s not an expert in reading her silences –

“I see, is it for her birthday or something?” Her tone is measured, and she’s looking pointedly at the screen.

“Um… yeah.” Eren sighs, wondering what the hell was up with his own reaction. He had nothing to feel guilty about – where did that even come from anyway? – Mikasa’s his… family (or something). Shopping for her was normal. He did it every year. This isn’t something he needed to hide.

“Yeah, it’s next month,” he says, giving her a smile. There was no need for this to be awkward if he didn’t make it so. Besides, it wasn’t like he was buying her lingerie or something! (he brushed this thought aside faster than the red blush crept up his neck)

“Do you think, you could help me with it?” He blurts this out, partially in an attempt to distract the weird atmosphere, and also partially because he could really use the help.

Krista blinks. “Err, yeah. Sure.” She pulls up Mikasa’s profile on Instagram. “Let’s see,” she murmurs… Turtlenecks… Jeans… a ridiculously modest swimsuit that she wore to a pool party two years ago. The sexiest outfit on her entire profile was probably her in her tennis shorts and that had more to do with Mikasa’s undeniably ripped body than anything else.

She looks up at Eren, who’s still looking at her tentatively, green eyes unsure.

This whole thing was silly anyway, she thinks, offering him a genuine smile. He and Mikasa were close (and they lived together, which she did her best not to think about), but this wasn’t a surprise so it’s about time that it came up in some way in their relationship. In any case, she hadn’t felt any hostility from the raven-haired beauty and Eren was usually quite forthcoming about everything, so she didn’t really have anything to worry about.

“So, um, does she have a favourite colour or something?” She’s eager to kill the awkward mood and is grateful to see his shoulders visibly relax as he ponders.

“… Red, I think. Maybe, like, a darker shade. Sort of… maroon, y’know?” He thinks of the scarf he gave Mikasa when they were younger. It was a ratty, yet fluffy maroon thing which she was absolutely terrible at tying, but she wears it everywhere during the winter, even though his father had a bought her a better one at some point.

They peruse their options for a bit, and Krista picks out a deep red number, a shimmery satin one, with slinky straps and a slit that travels up an already high hemline. It wasn’t really a spring dress but more of a cocktail night outfit, and Eren is weirdly embarrassed thinking of Mikasa in it.

He eyes the screen incredulously. “… Somehow, I just can’t picture Mikasa wearing something like that.” He opens up another link, to a denim overall dress, “… now this, she would wear.”

“And that,” Krista retorts, “is why she’s still single. She has an amazing body; she should flaunt it.”

“… What would she wear it to?” Eren asks, unconvinced. (Also, what was wrong with Mikasa being single?) “… Student council meetings? Debate competitions?! I just,” –

“Parties, Eren,” she says, exasperated, “… it’s high school!”

“You know she doesn’t” –

“Drag her to some! C’mon, we’re going to be seniors soon. She’ll thank you for it!”

…

Six hours later, she’s closing up her shift at her part-time job. It’s a job she’d rather keep hidden – from her friends at school and the law – because she isn’t sure what the age policy was in these kinds of establishments. It worked out because it was close enough to home, and between her and the bartender, the tips compensated the poor wages. Plus, the bartender – a slightly older girl named Ymir with a pretty fringe and a sharp tongue – was genuinely fan to hang out with. And she was surprisingly protective of the small blonde, particularly with the rougher customers, whom Ymir scared off quite effectively with her glares.

“So,” she says, as she scrubs the counter clean, “… I helped my boyfriend buy a dress today.”

She doesn’t turn back to see her, but she can hear Ymir’s raised eyebrows as she says, cheekily, “… I didn’t realize you guys were into that stuff.”

Snorting, she replies, “Well that would be interesting. But no, it was for his, um, friend. Or something.” Or something, because sometimes Eren refers to Mikasa as his best friend, sometimes his family, and sometimes it just felt like… something else, basically.

She turns around to look at Ymir, who says nothing, continuing to rinse the rest of the glasses. “Her name’s Mikasa,” she continues, her voice getting oddly unsure, “They’ve known each other forever. They even… live together.”

“… What,” Ymir stares at her in disbelief.

“It’s not like that,” Krista finds herself sounding defensive, “Eren’s dad is her guardian… or something. Has been for some years. So, it’s not like they moved in together…”

She elects to skip the part where Eren’s dad is a doctor with Doctors without Borders and is barely home for more than a couple of months a year. She didn’t like the look Ymir was giving her anyway.

“So… they’re like brother-sister or what?”

“No,” she says, realizing that the word came out more vehement than she intended. But she knows that was definitely not the way Eren saw their relationship.

“… Krista,” Ymir starts, and the blonde can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s going to get all protective on her, “… I know you’re in high school, and… you’re dating – as you should – but you don’t have to waste your time on shady boys.”

At this she laughs because, “Eren’s not shady, he’s a nice guy,” –

“… You could get anyone you want; I mean look at you, you’re beautiful.”

The defense that was bubbling up in her throat suddenly stilled, because there’s something about the way Ymir just said that – called her beautiful – earnestly, quietly, and it made her feel funny. It took her breath away for a very brief second and replaced it with a warm flush that creeps up her neck.

It’s strange, she’s heard it before from so many boys with obvious motivations; Eren’s always calling her pretty, and complimenting her eyes or whatever… But when Ymir said it, and looked at her like that, honey brown eyes, deep with unnamed emotion, all she could do was avert her eyes.

…

vi.

It’s 7pm and the library’s home only to the nerds by now. The librarian is lax (and underpaid) enough to ignore the low buzz of two over-enthusiastic AP chemistry students that grates on Mikasa’s ears.

Ordinarily she’d just plug her earphones in and ignore the world to focus on the assignment at hand. But today she accepts anything to distract her from the scene earlier at home. And even though Armin’s sitting right next to her, supposedly doing his own thing, she doesn’t miss the worried glances he sends her every now and then, which she really doesn’t want to address.

Her feelings for Eren were a well-known secret by now, just as well-known as the fact that he clearly didn’t return those feelings, so she wasn’t particularly in the mood for Armin’s indulgent pity… regardless of how well-intentioned it was.

So, when its 8pm and the librarian is shooing them out, and she bumps into Jean, she’s grateful for the few extra minutes of conversation surrounding absolutely nothing important.

When they continue to the parking lot, their conversation having progressed from awkward conversation starters to an animated discussion on Jean’s tennis form, Armin’s well and truly realized that he has no place here.

After Armin’s said his goodbyes and Mikasa recognizes that she doesn’t mind staying away from home and possibly Eren and Krista in the middle of their 5th round, she asks Jean, “… so do you like Chinese food?”

…

When she walks in a little after 10 pm, cheeks cold from the night air, there’s a small grin on her cheeks, because she’s made a new friend today, whose company she genuinely enjoyed.

But when she enters the living room to see Eren fast asleep on the couch, she finds herself staring in the face of the reality she’d tried so hard to escape. It’s difficult to ignore the ruffled quality of his brown hair, mussed up in a way that could only have been achieved by someone (a very blonde, very beautiful someone) raking their hands through it.

She can’t help the wave of irritation that sweeps through her - so she doesn’t bother to soften her footsteps as she walks up the wooden stairs.

Minutes later, she hears his sleepy voice at her door. “Hey,” he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice, “you were out pretty late, so I left you some dinner. We made pasta, it’s not as good as yours but,” -

“… I ate already,” she says, tone clipped.

“Oh.” He’s quiet, just watching her put her things away, and there’s irrational tears pricking at her eyes, anger, and frustration that she knows she doesn’t have the right to, so she doesn’t turn to acknowledge him. “… Mikasa, are you…,” he clears his throat, “… is something wrong?”

When she says nothing, he sighs, turning, “… Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I’m always here,” -

“… Could you please go over to Krista’s house next time?”

She colours, surprised at herself for her outburst of honesty. But her blush pales in comparison to Eren’s as he processes what she’s saying. “… This is my house,” he sputters, “… I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to bring my girlfriend over.”

“Well, it’s not just ‘bringing her over’, is it?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “… What I do with Krista, in my personal space, is definitely not your business, Mikasa.”

“It is when I can hear it, Eren,” she retorts, as he shuts the door forcefully behind him.

…

vii.

It’s been two weeks since that… confrontation, and Mikasa’s barely spoken to him since.

She leaves before he does, makes sure dinner’s left out on the stove for him, whether he needs it or not, and locks her door when she’s done. And although he’s found himself staring awkwardly at that shut door multiple times, he’s never had the courage to actually knock.

He simply cannot comprehend this situation because despite the numerous arguments they’ve had in the past - it was always him, whining about something like a petty child and sulking till he got his way - she’d never truly been mad at him. And she’d never, ever, gone days without talking to him. And as he stares at the locker next to his (it was Mikasa’s) with a horrible ache in his chest, he is well and truly sure that he loathes this situation.

So, when small hands reach around his waist, enveloping him in a tight embrace, his subconscious reaction is to jerk back in annoyance. “I didn’t realise it was you,” he murmurs apologetically, rubbing her hands softly.

“… Who else would it be?” Krista asks, somewhat thrown off by this mood that had been festering for days now.

“You ask some very valid questions there, babe,” he mutters, a distracted half-smile on his face.

Taking a deep breath (determined to shake him out of his pensive aura), she whispers, “… You know, I don’t have work today.” She leans against him, reaching up to murmur in his ear, “we could hang out at yours for a while, if you want?”

She makes it clear what she means by “hanging out” by the way she presses up against him, and even though he’s responded with fervent enthusiasm to a similar invitation in the past, today he just averts his gaze, awkwardly.

Swallowing the rejection with a graceful exterior, she puts an arm’s length of distance between them. “… What’s going on, Eren? Your head’s been somewhere else all week.”

And before he starts to stay that it’s nothing, just that he has some stuff going on, she says, “… does this have something to do with Mikasa?”

His green gaze jerks up at her, startled with unfortunate honesty. “… I haven’t seen you talk to her all week.”

“…I,” he starts, but his throat closes up, for some reason, unsure whether he should really tell her what happened. He doesn’t want to put her in the middle of something that was clearly between him and Mikasa.

But with every passing second, the guilty look on his face only begins to feed the fears that she had successfully kept dormant all this while. “… Did something happen between the two of you?”

And when he looks into her eyes, bright blues seeping insecurity, he says, hurriedly, “… wait, I hope you aren’t thinking that we,” - he inhales sharply, wondering how he manages so successfully to upset the women in his life - “God, no. We had a misunderstanding, that’s all. She said something, I was pretty rude to her, and I shouldn’t have been.”

“And,” he murmurs, admitting it to himself, finally, “I’ve just taken too long to apologize.”

…

She’s barely finished washing the vegetables for dinner, when she hears the thud of the front door closing loudly.

(She remembers Carla reprimanding him every time, for not being gentler)

Mikasa has managed to avoid Eren successfully these past days, because she knows his schedule, knows that despite his complete lack of organization, he’s fairly predictable. And with his recent interest in a particular cheerleader, he almost invariably never comes home before 8.30 PM. So, when she hears him enter their kitchen at little over 7, she isn’t prepared.

She isn’t prepared because she’s been quite cowardly, saying things that she had no business saying, and then being unable to own up to it, unable to apologize to him. Because she knew that when she looks at him, she’ll feel the way she feels right now - taking in the sight of him, drizzle droplets fresh in his brown hair, as he runs a hand through it, his mouth twisting into an awkward grin. She knew she’d realize that her feelings for Eren were never really much of a choice, they just were.

“… I brought your favourite dumplings from Li’s,” he announces. “And I brought an extra serving of the spicy soy sauce so we don’t have to fight over who gets the last bit.”

…

He’s grateful for the small smile that forms on her face when she accepts the dumplings (the peace treaty as he calls it in his head), and for the small banter that she indulges him in as they eat.

After they’re stuffed with dumplings and inconsequential conversation, he clears his throat, because he remembers he came home early tonight with a certain conviction.

But as she does with most things, she beats him to it. “… Eren, about the other day,” she looks at him earnestly, “… I had no right to demand that of you. I’m sorry.”

And when he’s still quiet, she mumbles quickly, “I don’t know what got into me that day, honestly, I,” -

“Don’t apologise, Mikasa,” he says, a strange disquiet taking over him as he replays her words, “… the last thing I want, is to make you feel uncomfortable.” Or to make you feel like you can’t demand what you want from me.

This is the part that settles into him slowly, that somehow, the one person in his life that he’s always felt he could ask anything of, could demand anything of, and actually receive it without fail… she didn’t feel that she could count on the same from him. And it twisted painfully inside of him.

“I appreciate that, Eren. But honestly, I’ll get used to it… so don’t worry.” She smiles, in that genuine way of hers, small lips, curving shyly, “… and who knows, maybe someday I’ll want to ‘bring someone over’ too.”

She laughs as she does the air quotes and even though he manages a small grin in response, all he can say, without really meaning it, is –

“Yeah… Of course, yeah.”

…

viii.

She takes her frustration out on the cash register. “… Damn thing doesn’t open when I need it to, and doesn’t close when I want it to,” she mutters under her breath.

“You just need to show it some love,” Ymir says, amused, promptly closing the problematic register without any difficulty. “… Go sit, I’ll close up here.”

She does as she’s told, pouting slightly, but she’s grateful for the older girl’s help and understanding. “So… want a beer before I close the tap?” Ymir asks with a wink.

“You need to stop offering underage girls alcohol,” Krista whispers, scanning the room hastily.

The brunette rolls her eyes. “You need to stop with the innocent act every time. You’re a hot cheerleader for god’s sakes, everyone knows what goes on at your high school parties,” -

“Ok ok,” she acquiesces, suppressing the blush at Ymir’s offhanded compliment and deciding that that there was no point in panicking every time they did this, “… but only if you join me.”

“Cheers,” Ymir says, offering her glass to Krista’s and taking a generous gulp. “So, tell me. Boy trouble, again?”

Krista nurses her drink slowly before taking a sip.

To Krista, Eren was a breath of fresh air. He didn’t hover, he didn’t foam at the mouth every time she spoke to another guy, didn’t hound her if she didn’t pick up his phone call.

Does he even care? Ymir had asked her once scathingly, but she had disregarded it, grateful for the freedom she felt in his embrace. Freedom from toxic attachment, from past trauma or unresolved baggage like the one she was destined to carry. When she was around him, she had felt different. Lighter almost, as if this persona that she had created for herself could actually have a shot at happiness after all.

But lately she’d begun to wonder if she’d just been fooling herself… again. She’d begun to question if she had just convinced herself to see the promise of something that was never there.

“… I thought this guy was one of the good ones,” Ymir says, watching Krista closely.

“He is…” she sighs, “He is one of the good ones. It’s just…” she trails off, unsure if she should give voice to her thoughts. “Ah fuck it, I’m just feeling a little insecure, it’ll be fine…”

“… Is this about that sexy flatmate of his?”

She winces, feeling exposed. It often felt that way with Ymir. Like there was no point to any of the barriers she had worked so hard in constructing.

“She is attractive,” Krista admits, begrudgingly. “… I’m only surprised Eren hasn’t noticed that.”

“… But that’s what you’re worried about, aren’t you? That he has noticed that of late?” Ymir narrows her eyes at Krista. “You should just ask him about it!”

“I did,” she states defensively, “… and he said there was nothing,” -

“… Oh, sure there’s nothing. I can’t believe he thinks he can lie to you and get away with it,” -

“Ymir, I trust him, he’s my boyfriend,” -

“But that’s the problem with you. You just trust everyone, and you let them walk all over you. You did this with Reiner and now with,” -

“Ok,” she whispers, “Stop it, Ymir.”

“… Krista, you need to trust your gut about this sort of thing. If your gut is telling you that he’s a lying asshole, then you should just dump his ass and,” -

“… See this is why I didn’t want to tell you about this,” she cries, her voice rising In frustration. Because this is how it’s always been with Ymir, no one she dates is ever good enough, no decision she makes is ever smart enough.

“You’re always shitting on my boyfriends. And I know you were justified about the last one, but,” her voice cracks just a little bit, because at the end of it all, she just feels weak, “… it feels like you’re just taking a massive crap on me as well.”

“I didn’t mean,” Ymir starts apologetically, brown eyes remorseful, “… look, that wasn’t my intention.”

She takes her hand, slowly, lets her long fingers intertwine with Krista’s smaller, dainty ones. The crumpled expression on Krista’s features has her regretting ever opening her big mouth. But she was tired of seeing one person after another, enter her Krista’s life, and undo the progress she was trying so desperately to make.

“… The truth is,” she takes a deep breath, ready to unleash a truth that’s been stifled for so long, she can’t even remember when it first sprouted, “I think you’re pretty fucking amazing. And I see you wasting all your time and your feelings on these stupid boys who don’t deserve you.” The words come out quickly, rushed almost. A sharp contrast to how long they’ve festered in Ymir’s chest, growing and growing until these feelings knew no reason.

Ymir doesn’t look at her, she keeps her gaze focused on Krista’s hand, afraid of what might happen if Krista understands the depth of feeling behind her words. But more important than her feelings, there were some things she wanted Krista to see clearly.

“Did you tell him about your father, Krista? What he does to you when his wife isn’t looking?”

Krista tugs on her hand, a wave of unbridled panic spreading at the mention of her father. “I trusted you with that information, Ymir, you promised you’d never bring it up,” -

“… Did you tell him your real name?”

She can’t answer this question, even though she knows the answer, knows it’s an emphatic ‘no’ - but she cannot answer because there’s an overwhelming lump in her throat, and it’s taking everything from her to barely keep it together.

“… Let go of me, Ymir,” she pleads, and that’s when Ymir loosens her grip.

“… You trusted me to keep quiet about your secrets - and I’m fine with that. I’m fine with doing anything you ask of me,” her teeth grit together, because she doesn’t know, Krista doesn’t know just how much she would do.

“You asked me not to do anything about the fact that your father is hurting you, and it even though it kills me, I listened to you. But now I see you hurting yourself in this farcical relationship with fabricated feelings for some boy who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, and I don’t know if I can be quiet about that anymore.”

And because it’s grown too large, too much to keep inside of her anymore, she whispers, “I love you, Historia. And if you want me to let go of you, I will. But,” she brushes her lips gently against Krista’s cheek, “… You can trust me with your secrets, and your heart, if you’d let me, because I could take care of you.” She feels a warm tear roll down Krista’s cheek and her heart clenches, “… I could make you happy.”

…

ix.

“… I really appreciate you making time for this,” she murmurs, as she watches him lay the white lilies at her parent’s grave.

He always remembers, without her prompting, because the first time he’d come with her, she’d spent hours crying at their gravestone, telling him tear-filled anecdotes of the dishes her Mama cooked, the bedtime stories her Papa told, the flowers that they used to grow in their garden together (white lilies).

“C’mon Mikasa,” he rolls his eyes at her, “… we do this every year. Why wouldn’t I make time for this?” And why the hell are you thanking me?

She can’t really explain it to him, the possibly childish notion that she thought he might be too busy with his girlfriend to remember the death anniversary of her parents. She regrets doubting him, regrets that of late she’s been so clouded by petty jealousy, that she hasn’t truly appreciated how little he’s changed around her.

“It’s ridiculous,” she confesses, softly, “… you’ve given me everything. A home… A family.” She smiles at him, somewhat blurry. “But I can’t help it, every year on this day, my mind always goes back to that… moment. I lost them… in what felt like the blink of an eye.”

He tenses, as he always does when he sees her upset, or shedding a tear. There is a fundamental part of him that deeply despises the sadness on her features; it makes him feel helpless. So, he does the only thing he can - he wraps an arm around her, tucking her face into his shoulder as she snuggles into him.

“I miss them every day. But you saved me, Eren,” she whispers, dark eyes looking up at him with a gratefulness that he has never known how to accept, and never felt worthy of. “… and now I have you.”

Her voice trails off, almost wistful. “… I guess the world really can be cruel but beautiful at the same time.”

…

When he stops to think about it, he supposes it really is ridiculous it took them so long to get here. And by here he means - Mikasa wrapped securely in his arms, in his lap, on their couch, taking advantage of the privacy they’ve had all along.

He feels her tongue flick against his - it makes him shiver - and he can do little more than just wrap himself around her tighter, and sigh into her kiss. Her fingers make their way into his hair, cradling his head, pressing sweet kisses on the side of his mouth, on his jaw, and on the sensitive spot beneath his ear.

And because Mikasa’s always been a quick study (she’s learnt what he likes, what he’s weak for), he stills her exploration (very reluctantly) before she goes too far.

“Are you okay…?” He whispers, rubbing a thumb along the dried tear stains on her cheek – a reminder of her tears, of knowing the pain that he’d caused her, bubbled quietly within him, having been quelled temporarily by the glorious feeling of having her in his arms.

She laughs, shaking her head, “… I love you. I can’t believe I finally get to say it.” She rests her forehead against his, a happy smile forming on her lips.

“… You could have said it ages ago; you know. No one asked you to keep it inside for this long.” Even though he teases her with his words, his lips drift back to hers, brushing softly, unable to stay away for too long.

“… Well, you never know, I actually might have said it. If it wasn’t for, you know, you having a girlfriend.” He senses the eye roll, the teasing lilt of her voice, but he can’t help but regret the time he wasted. Because even though Krista was a dear friend, and there were no ill intentions there, now that he is here, chest to chest with the girl he loves, he only wishes he’d been here sooner.

“You’re going to use that against me forever, aren’t you?”

She grins in response. “… I have a question though.”

“Shoot,” he murmurs, nibbling against her lower lip.

“… Why’d you guys break up?”

He groans, kissing her jaw testily. “… Do you really want to go into that right now?”

She hesitates, torn between potentially ruining the mood and needing to know what happened. God knows, she had spent countless nights losing sleep over the details anyway. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay, I guess…”

“It’s fine,” he says quickly, realising that if he wanted to set a precedent where she could ask him anything, then it‘s best he starts now, “… She’s in love with someone else. A girl, actually.”

Her eyes widen, not having expected that turn of events. “… Please tell me you didn’t ask for a threesome.”

“What the fuck, Mikasa, of course not!” He pulls back, offended.

“Good,” she murmurs cheekily, “I’ve raised you well.”

“Hmm,” he hums, “Speaking of ‘raising me’, you should probably stop saying stuff like that. Do you know that Connie asked if you were like a ’sister’ to me?”

He grins, seeing the shocked expression on her face. That’s exactly how he had felt when he was posed that question, with a little mortification added to the mix. “… Is that really how everyone sees our… relationship?”

His fingers drift to hers, where they rest on his chest. “We’ve been living together for a while now,” he caresses her knuckles absentmindedly, “Kids our age… they don’t really understand it, I guess. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“My turn: I have a question for you,” he murmurs. This is a question he’s long considered, stopped only by his embarrassment, fielding it from others only to put the vaguest labels on it.

“… What am I to you, Mikasa?”

The question throws her, because even though she’s told him candidly how she feels, that she loves him, she always has, he is asking her, right now, to define their relationship.

The very notion, the expression that flits on her tongue, bubbles up in her heart with an exciting warmth, even though she hopes this is just temporary, that it will grow, that Eren is so many things and will be so many things to her that she cannot possibly define right now - “… My boyfriend, of course.”

- fin -

A/N: i've been really nervous to post em, because its just been so long, and the writer that wrote chap 1 is different from the one that wrote chap 2, and honestly i dont even know if there are inconsistencies. so my request to you, dear reader, is to please let me know if i have made any fuck ups in writing this - or if you have any ideas for pacing, or storytelling that could possibly help me improve.

also there will be a chapter 3 focusing on eremika’s sexual exploration~

#eremika #erehisu #yumihisu #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #liquorisce fanfiction

33 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 3 years

Text

SnK Episode 71 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 176 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

RATE THE EPISODE 172 responses

This week’s episode keeps up the high mark of the previous episodes, with 98.8% of respondents giving the episode a score of 3 or higher (overwhelmingly 4s and 5s). Nice!

It was aight.

It's cool

8.5/10

great!

Very rocky imo in terms of animation, as the cracks are beginning to show but overall look like the backgrounds and music choices were top tier.

Really good episode, I was disappointed in the jacket scene but it’s not the end of the world

loved it

It was overall a great episode I loved it.

🔥🔥🔥

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 174 responses

46.6% of respondents overall were most excited to see Eren meeting up with Floch and the others, with 23.6% of those respondents favoring the scene of Eren putting on his jacket specifically. 12.1% most enjoyed seeing the angry citizens shouting out the Survey Corps motto. 9.8% were thrilled to see Zackley’s death animated. 8% were psyched to see Pieck in disguise at the end, and 6.9% most enjoyed the moment where Hitch caught Armin red-handed trying to touch Annie’s crystal.

YOUR REACTION TO EREN PUTTING ON HIS JACKET? 171 responses

Eren putting on his jacket was a scene many obsessed over when it first appeared on page and many looked forward to seeing it animated. Most of the response choices were focused on various forms of swooning over Eren and his abs. Some (13.5%) stated that they didn’t really understand the dramatism and some others (another 13.5%) simply stated that they did not see much in Eren outright. We’ve gotten a lot of write-ins about comparisons to the pre-animated trailer shot of said scene. More on that in a later question.

i mean i understand the thirst, but eh

Prefer manga :/

The trailer did it better

Meh. Better in the trailer and the manga.

TF was that? Well it's still good in its own way.

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S!

both "HOOOOOLYYYYYY 😳" and "so dramatic and for what?"

Trailer/Manga shot was way better

Manga shot/trailer version are way better. Dissapointed

Trailer looked better :(

Mappa only made Reiner thicc, why Eren is so frain he has 1,85! He is so strong in the manga

I don't care

Manbun.........👀

He can have my babies anytime 😌💅🏻

Not as sexy as advertised; that’s okay, though.

That scene looked weird af ngl. It looked better in the trailer 😔

Me after THAT eren scene: 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

Eren makes my dick rise

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU NOW THAT WE APPEAR TO BE GOING BACK TO LEVI AND ZEKE’S PERSPECTIVE NEXT WEEK FOR A BIT? 171 responses

Levi and Zeke’s chemistry has been the subject of praise for many, so it’s no wonder that 87.1% of respondents are rather excited to get back to seeing Levi and Zeke again. Wow!

ARE ARMIN’S FEELINGS FOR ANNIE GENUINELY HIS OWN? 173 responses

Armin’s feelings for Annie have been looked at under a microscope for a variety of reasons, which is why we’re asking if you believe that his feelings for her are genuine. A plurality, 49.1% think that they’re a mixture of his feelings for her, as well Bertolt’s. Slightly less (30.6%) believe that Armin’s feelings for her existed since before any of the recent developments. Only a select few believe that he either became interested in her post-timeskip or that his feelings are solely influenced by Bertolt. One person doesn’t think Armin has any feelings for Annie at all. And a few others just don’t care.

Bertmin simping for Annie and that apparently being enough for her to start considering him as boyfriend material is the fucking worst. I hate this shit. It's made me like both characters considerably less.

Uhh Armin where ya reaching?!

He was interested with her even before it was revealed she was the Female Titan and now that he has Bertholdt's memories, he sympathizes with her too and wants to understand her more so maybe Bert's memories intensified his feelings

His feelings for Annie are mostly his own. Bert's feelings might be in there a little, but the feelings are still Armin's.

CONTINUITY ALERT! EREN HAS HIS HAIR UP IN A BUN IN YELENA’S FLASHBACK. THOUGHTS? 173 responses

Uh-oh, Eren’s hairstyle moment. It would appear that there might be a continuity error with Yelena’s flashback and whatever that means for the timeline. A slight plurality (37%) didn’t seem to care about this, actually. But 33.5% appeared to believe that it was a mistake on MAPPA’s part that might get fixed in the BluRay version of the episode. 16.8% also believe that it was a mistake, but don’t believe it’ll get fixed. 9.8% think that it’s actually a retcon and that Eren’ll have the man bun when Chapter 123 gets adapted in Final Season Part 2.

I hope it gets fixed because it's bugging me.

I really wish it was like how it was in the manga. Eren looks good with his hair down in his 16-17-year-old phase. Despite the error, it wasn't a deal breaker for the episode.

He looks totally gorgeous with his hair up in a bun, please let this mistake be

Honestly I don’t mind it. It looks great either way.

Eren in a manbun is a total win for me!

WHICH PIECES OF INFORMATION MISSING FROM YELENA’S ADMISSION IN THE MANGA DO YOU WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ADAPTATION? 163 responses

As with almost all dialogue-heavy chapters in this series, there are cuts. In this episode, these cuts mostly affected the conversation between Yelena and Pixis. The most yearned for cut material was Yelena never telling Eren to go along with the plan and Yelena saying that she used Floch as a “go-between” between her and Eren. Others also noted missing lines about Yelena wanting Eren to stand up for himself, Yelena stating that Zeke gave the volunteers a hopeful future and the idea that her and Eren came to quick agreement. The plurality (31.9%) however, didn’t seem to mind any cuts.

WHAT ARE YOU OVERALL FEELINGS ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DETAILS BEING CUT? 161 responses

There is often a sort of expectation to have everything (or almost every) line from the manga adapted in the anime, so it’s interesting to see how people react to that sort of stuff. An almost 50% of respondents stated that they didn’t really care about the cuts, whereas smaller handfuls of respondents stated that the cuts either took away from the characterization of the conversation, or from the context and timeline-building purposes.

I'm not thrilled about the cuts, but I understand MAPPA can only fit so much in on each episode, so I'm okay with it

the yelena/volunteers plot has always been wonky and hard to follow

I don’t think it’s a problem, they need to cut certain things.

i literally never notice but i agree that it makes it harder to piece things together

Meh

It might seem for anime watchers that Yelena didnt do much, and Floch and Zeke that did the most part, in their own plans. Floch to betray and Zeke in predicting Eren wouldnt be on his side in some way. Yelena helped Zeke a lot to where he arrived in the rumbling

All of the above

ZACKLEY WALKS OVER TO HIS TORTURE MACHINE IN THE ANIME BEFORE MIKASA ASKS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO EREN, RATHER THAN GLANCE OVER AT IT AFTER HER QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE? 170 responses

There was a partially comedic insinuation in the manga that Zackley thought about strapping Eren to his “art piece”. The insinuation is possibly still there in the anime, but in a different form. So we asked how you felt about it. Slightly below a half (48.8%) stated that they thought the subtlety was still there. 18.8% thought the subtlety was lost with the small change and 8.8% believed the change made Zackley seem less unhinged. 21.8% really didn’t care at all.

Why is this a question?

The glance was funny as fuck in the manga, but might have been awkward to pull of in the animation

They're blown up tho, does it even matter?

DID EREN KNOW ABOUT THE BOMB? 170 responses

Whether Eren truly knew about the bomb is a bit unclear to this day and with how it endangered Armin and Mikasa. A plurality (40%) believe he knew about the bomb, but did not know about his childhood friends meeting Zackley. Slightly less (30.6%) think that Eren did not know about either the bomb or AM meeting the Artist. A minority (7.1%) does believe that Eren knew about both the bomb and meeting and 21.8% simply aren’t sure!

Even if he didn’t know, he obviously doesn’t care either way.

THERE IS SOME DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER EREN’S JACKET SCENE WAS BETTER ANIMATED IN THE PROMOTIONAL VIDEO OR IN THE EPISODE ITSELF. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? 170 responses

Here we go… The elephant in the room… Which Eren abs scene did you prefer? The Promotional video or the actual episode? A somewhat slight majority (57.1%) seemed to like the version seen in the promotional video more than the episode itself versus the ones who preferred the episode’s style (42.9%).

THE EPISODE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF FLOCH’S ACTIONS AS THE VOICE OF THE YEAGERISTS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 170 responses

Floch has always been a controversial character and the developments seen post-time skip have not been any less debatable. You may floching love him or floching hate, but he’s here and he’s staying for a while. A plurality (48.8%) notes that although they may not personally be a fan of the character, they truly do appreciate the nuance his appearance gives to the story. Just over a quarter (25.3%) stated that as big fans of the character, they’re looking forward to all the screentime the Flochster will receive. In contrast, 20.6% despise the man and his questionable haircut and are also dreading the showcase he’ll soon receive.

I hate Floch and will cheer again when he dies, but I enjoy his character.

I detest Floch but I'm not dreading all the screen time he'll take up.

Since he died in the manga, my hatred for him has cooled down somewhat now that I'm watching the anime.

I am once again asking for you to shut the fuck up, Floch.

WE KNOW NOW THAT EREN DID CONSPIRE WITH FLOCH TO BETRAY ZEKE TO ENACT THE RUMBLING. STILL, DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME BELIEFS AS FLOCH, OR WAS HE JUST USING FLOCH AND THE YEAGERISTS AS A MEANS TO AN END? 161 responses

An overwhelming amount of respondents (87.6%) stated that they believe Eren never truly saw eye to eye with Floch and his ideology and that Eren was simply using Floch as a means to an end. In contrast, 9.3% truly do think that Eren was ideologically similar to Floch and the “New Eldian Empire”. A select few thought you couldn’t just say one way or another.

They both wanted to protect Paradis

DO YOU THINK IF THE YEAGERISTS, BESIDES FLOCH, KNEW ABOUT THE FULL SCALE RUMBLING BEFOREHAND THAT THEY WOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW EREN? 167 responses

The majority (53.3%) feel that the Yeagerists would see a divide if they knew beforehand that Eren wanted to initiate the rumbling, with some sticking around for the cause and others possibly leaving because it’s too extreme. 25.1% believe that they all would have fully supported the rumbling in the name of their own survival. 15% believe that every Yeagerist already knew about the plan to commence the rumbling, and only 6% feel that they would most certainly have betrayed the Yeager brothers (and Floch) if they had known.

I don’t know, this is a loaded question and I’m tired.

DO YOU THINK THAT, IF THE STORY ENDS PEACEFULLY, MIKASA WILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN HIZURU? 170 responses

While this plotline may not be going anywhere in the manga (or so it seems), the reminder of its existence is brought to light again as we revisit these older moments from the manga. 32.4% feel that Mikasa wouldn’t leave Paradis behind to start a life on Hizuru. 23.5% think that she wouldn’t leave Paradis behind, necessarily, but will still have a role to play in Hizuru. 21.2% think it doesn’t matter because Isayama has completely discarded (or forgotten) about this plotline. 12.4% don’t know what to predict (if anything) and only 8.2% believe that her future lies in Hizuru beyond the main storyline.

The last two options plus me not caring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hizuru is already rumbled, gone, but she will continue the azumabito clan in paradis

Is no one else gonna question Kiyomi's hair being sucked into her skull??? HELLO MA'AM???

Hizuru is likely flattened

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 171 responses

Episode 72 has already broadcasted as of the completion of this poll. For scenes that were most anticipated, 35.7% were most looking forward to seeing Levi and Zeke’s interaction in the forest. 33.3% most looked forward to Niccolo leaning straight from Gabi’s mouth that she is Sasha’s killer. 18.7% highly anticipated the Blouses learning about Gabi killing Sasha, and 9.4% were looking forward to Gabi/Falco and the Blouses gathering at Niccolo’s restaurant. Only a small amount were looking forward to Niccolo protecting Jean and Connie from drinking the wine.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Man the animation was gonky

no levi </3

So many faces of Niles are weirds !

Let hange aloneeeeeeee and happy, please

I have no word for this, but I feeling good

Shit is getting really real now!

Everyone talking about Eren’s abs and I just wanna say the music in that scene was amazing!

I loved how it was all neatly put together and fast moving

Armin looked so good. Homie walked from point A to B and i SCREAMED. Thank you.

i wish they included eren's warhammer escape from the prison, besides that solid episode all around, the people chanting 'dedicate your hearts' gave me chills

I can't stand Hitch at all but MAPPA made her really pretty. Re: The jacket scene The trailer version was pretty much identical to the manga panel. But I liked the version that made it into the final episode too. People have been so ridiculous about MAPPA ""ruining everything"" this season, they should stop watching if that's how they feel. I thought Eren looked great and found the sun shining on his abs funny. The scenery was better in the episode, imo. I hope they don't cut Jean's line about booze not caring about what race you are. Lmao

Meh. It's not bad of course, I just find the rythm weird and I don't really feel many emotions watching the episodes. And I was so thirsty for the jacket scene, and it turned out weird too.

Mappa pls stop drawing eren like shit he is gorgeous in the manga

MMGH SOON!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

You friccin moron, you just got zooked!

i miss eremin </3

Wish they had shown how eren used his titan powers to escape.

I'm so not looking forward to the controversy that's gonna be reignited during the EMA talk scene. I'm actually dreading it, but we'll finally get the Levi vs Beast Titan scene so I'll be fine

112 will destroy ships

I felt the animation was flawless as usual but the script was kinda boring, I expected more of these aspects: -Yelena, it was bland with the cuts -Hange, they cut something I cant figure what in this Yeagerists coup act that turned her scenes a little bit lacking? Idk something -Again the soundtrack in the episodes is so silent. The only episode so far I liked the ost beyond the Opening and Closing themes is Reiner episode. I miss the melodrama of Witstudio osts

Eren putting his jacket on in slow-speed whilst talking at regular speed is fucking trippy

Just happy to see Hitch!

It was slow and mainly plot driven. I enjoyed it despite the changes.

goddamn is that a hella well-animated explosion

more abs please

Great episode. Really ridiculous how many people overreacted about the jacket scene. It's ok to perfer the way the trailer did it but to those who say Mappa is ruining the adaptation because of minor things like this, calm down.

I wish the jacket scene was better But over all the ep is pretty good

Boring, but then again so was this phase in the manga.

I really like the VA they chose for Onyankopon! His voice is very warm and genuine, which suits his character well

The sunset was so aesthetically pleasing

yoooo just read ch. 138 and im crying in da club :(

These MAPPA episodes have been a low point for me. I’m trying to enjoy them because I love this story but it feels like a chore.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 161 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s4 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot

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samdeancass · 4 years

Text

Troubled

Requested by: _stellastyless on Wattpad

Pairing: Derek x Stella (OC character)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Characters: Derek, Stella, Scott, Stiles

Before her parents died in a plane crash, Stella was a very traditional girl. She always obeyed the rules, never stepped out of line and always had the best grades. All of that changed, however, when the fatal incident happened. Her life came crashing down around her. She had no siblings, nobody to turn to apart from Stiles. Stiles and Stella became super close and he became the only one she would confide in, especially since she was a closed book around everybody else. Her parents deaths changed her in a way that nobody could have predicted. Stella went from the perfect girl with a perfect life to an independent woman, stubborn and sarcastic just like her younger cousin. Stella has had a number of fake friends and flings that ended badly which crumpled her trust with anybody apart from Stiles.

There was one thing that she didn't trust Stiles to do though: take himself and Scott home without being harmed. It seemed that Stella wasn't the only one with these doubts as Sheriff Stilinski also didn't trust Stiles enough to reach home alone which is how she found herself parked outside of Beacon Hills High School. Stella was sitting on the hood of her car, tapping her fingers impatiently on the hood when she noticed a guy standing a few feet away staring at her. She hopped off the hood and began to walk further towards the schools entrance. Looking back behind her, Stella noticed that the guy had begun to follow her. Anger was building up inside of her, but she really didn't want to kick this guys as in the middle of a high school parking lot, so it was lucky that she spotted another guy heading towards her, Derek Hale. Stella giggled internally as she remembered a conversation she and Stiles had had not so long ago involving Derek.

"There is absolutely no need for how angry he is, Stella. He just sulks in the corner of a room, not saying a word. I can always feel his eyes on me, li,e he wants to eat me or something." Stella chuckled at Stiles' description of Derek. "Are you scared of him, Stiles?" His head shot up as his eyes widened. "No, definitely not." Stella shook her head and went back to reading her book.

Stella headed towards Derek and grabs his arm, interlocking their fingers together. "Play along". Stella whispered in his ear, only to leave Derek even more confused. This feeling soon went away when he spotted the guy that had been following you. Derek's eyes turned into slits as he slid his arm around Stella's waist, pulling her close to him. The guys eyes widened at what was playing out in front of him and soon walked away. Derek's arm fell from Stella's back as she stepped away from him.

"Thanks for that. Really didn't want to make a scene in front of a high school." She gave Derek a sheepish smile as they both walked towards her car. "Anytime, Stella. I always enjoy rescuing a damsel in distress." He began to laugh as Stella dug him in the ribs. "That will only happen once, I can promise you!" Stella could feel a familiar feeling brewing in the pit of her stomach as she carried on the conversation with Derek. Stella and Derek didn't really know each other so it was hard to gauge how much she could trust him, but she really couldn't resist the flirtiness of her old self. "Wanna go out for some drinks later?" Derek stared at Stella a little taken aback. He knew that she didn't really talk to people that wasn't in her inner circle. He thought for a second before accepting the offer. Stella smiled at him before she spotted Scott and Stiles heading down the path in front of them. "I'll meet you at the bar at 7." Stella waved at the two teens before walking towards them, leaving Derek slightly confused but amused at the situation he found himself in.

Later that night at the bar after dropping off Scott and Stiles, Stella and Derek were sat at the bar having a light conversation. "So I know about all of the werewolves and supernatural creatures in Beacon Hills, but I just wanna know how in the hell you cope with it all? I'm not around here all the time, but when I am it always seems like you, Scott and Stiles are always out trying to fix the town." Stella took a sip of her drink as Derek laughed slightly. "To be honest, it's quite hard trying to keep this town safe. The amount of things that these people have witnessed over the years is horrific. I'm actually surprised there are people still living here." Stella laughed in response as she downed the rest of her drink. "Another?" Derek smiled and nodded as Stella hailed down the bartender. "So, Stella, I've sort of noticed that you don't really talk to people who you aren't close to, so I'm just wondering why you decided to invite me out?"

The question took Stella by surprise as she downed the drink that she had just ordered. "Well, I think it has something to do with the fact that you helped me, practically a stranger, scare off a creepy dude who was following her." She took a deep breath as Derek smiled in response. "The thing is Derek, I'm sort of broken. I never used to be like this, I was a totally different person before...." Her voice stuck in her throat as she tried to finish the sentence. Derek placed a hand on hers and nodded. "I understand. Something happened to my family when I was younger that changed me in ways that I didn't even know, so trust me I know exactly how you're feeling." Stella smiled gratefully and ordered two more drinks.

A lot more drinks later, Stella and Derek found themselves hooking up together. For Stella, it was partly accidental but partly intentional as well. She really felt that Derek and her had a connection with each other and she wanted to feel closer to him. Stella awoke and looked around her, finding Derek asleep next to her. She smiles softly at him before quietly getting out of bed and getting dressed. She looks back at Derek one more time before creeping out of Derek's loft.

When Stella is in Beacon Hills, she stays af Stiles' house. She was hoping that nobody would be there when she arrived in order to escape staring eyes and awkward questions. That hope quickly faded when she spotted Scott's motorbike parked outside of the house. Stella sighed inwardly and readied herself for the interrogation that was sure to come before putting her key in the lock.

When she opened the door, footsteps sounded from the upstairs of the house. She rolled her eyes as the footsteps came closer and closer to her. "Where have you been?" She turned around to see Scott and Stiles leaning against the wall, arms folded across their chests. "You don't need to know." As Stella began to move around the kitchen and dodging Stiles' questions, she could hear Scott sniffing slightly and she knew he could sense a change in her scent. She swung around and brought a finger to her lips when Stiles wasn't watching, silently asking him to hush. He nodded softly before Stella headed upstairs.

A few days later the pack had gotten together to discuss another supernatural threat. Frustration was evident between Stella and Derek but nobody wanted to admit it. Both Stella and Derek had feelings for the other but they didn't know if they were ready to admit it to themselves, especially Stella. She was so afraid of being hurt and putting all of her trust in somebody she barely knows, but somehow she knew that Derek was worth it. Throughout the meeting, Derek barely looked at Stella and the frustration that she felt began to build inside her, along with a little sadness. Stella thought that Derek had feelings for her but with the way he was acting now, she wasn't so sure. At the end of the meeting, the frustration had turned into bitterness as her mind dwelled on hers and Derek's relationship. Before he left, letting the bitterness get the better of her, she pulled Derek aside to confront him about the situation.

"Alright Derek, I need to know. Where do we stand with each other? I thought you hooked up with me because you had feelings for me, but obviously you didnt. I cared all along for you, Derek." You breathing became rapid and angry as he gave you no verbal response and shook his head. Stella's anger got the better of her and she slapped Derek across the face before walking away.

The rest of the packs meetings resulted in Stella defending everybody's reasons and plans apart from Derek's. Stella was still very bitter about what happened between them both and felt that Derek didn't acknowledge or appreciate the hard work the rest of the pack puts into putting the plans together.

At one of the meetings, Isaac sensed a change in Stella's scent and decided to talk to her. "Hey, Stella. You Ok? I can sense something's wrong." She sighed a little and reassured him that she was OK. He could still sense her discomfort and engaged her in a mood lifter conversation which Stella became fully indulged in. Throughout the conversation, Isaac could sense Stella's discomfort leaving her body which brought a smile to his face. Stella walked away and sat down, taking Isaac with her.

"The thing is, Isaac. I sort of have feelings for Derek but he doesn't feel the same way." Stiles overhears the conversation and walks over to Stella. "Seriously Stel, Derek? I get what you're saying, I really do, but Derek?" Isaac looked up at him and shook his head before kicking his shin. "Go away, Stiles." Stiles groaned in pain as he hobbled away towards Scott, who he undoubtedly will tell. "Dont listen to Stiles, he's a moron." Stella laughed in response and begins to talk to Isaac some more.

After that, at another meeting, Stella found herself having to contradict Derek. Isaac could sense the change of her emotions and immediately pulled her close and hugged her, which oddly calmed her down. Every time this happened, Stella could feel herself mildly enjoying the attention. Throughout the meeting, Derek was unconsciously waiting for Stella to snap at him like she has been. He becomes a little confused when Stella isn't contradicting him anymore and actually agrees with him. Derek looks over in your direction and sees Issac and Stella cuddling together.

Anger rose through Derek's body at the scene in front of him. "Isaac, would you please concentrate and leave Stella alone!" Derek gritted his teeth together to keep himself calm before Stella jumped to Isaac's defense. "Hey, lay off. We're talking about the plan." You frowned at Derek before turning back to Isaac, throwing her arms around him. At this point, Derek was seething with anger. He absolutely hated the way Stella seemed so comfortable with Isaac and how quick she jumped to his defense but he chose to act like it didn't bother him.

A few days after this, Stella's phone lights up with a text from Isaac asking her to hurry over to the loft for a meeting. She hopped into her care and drove to the loft. Stella opened the doors and walked inside, only to find herself with Derek. Stella groaned inwardly at how awkward this was going to be.

"Erm, how've you been?" Derek looked over in Stella's direction and cast a small smile. "Absolutely fine, and yourself?" Ste,,a looked over at Derek and kept a straight face showing no emotion. "Fine. What are you doing here?" "Isaac told me to meet him here for a pack meeting or something." Silence filled the air for a few moments before Derek walked towards Stella and gave her a questioning look. "So, I've noticed you and Isaac have been getting pretty close lately and I'm just wondering how it's going."

Stella stepped back slightly in confusion and raised her eyebrows. "What on earth are you talking about, Derek? Me and Isaac aren't a thing, we're just good friends." Derek let out an angry huff. "C'mon, Stella. Dont give me that shit." Stella threw her hands up in the air. "What are you going on about?"

"With all the cuddling and giggling and whispering, it looks like you two are a thing. You seem so comfortable with him, I just assumed that you were both together." Stella gave him a deadpan look. "We're just good friends Derek, nothing more. We just get along really well and we understand the things that we have both been through. That's it, purely platonic. I'm way older than Isaac anyway, so having a relationship with him really doesn't seem practical in any way."

"Why are you both always co,fy with each other then, always cuddling each other?" Derek's frustration was starting to show at how naive Stella was being. He placed around the room as Stella shrugged in response. "I'm like that with everyone." Derek stops and over to Stella, stopping right in front of her. "You're not like that with me, though." "I would be if you hadn't of been such a jerk and played me." Derek scoffed. "What is your issue with me?"

"I like you, OK. I have for a while now. All of the little things that you do, like taking on the big bad by yourself, putting your life before anybody elses. It's things like that that allowed my feelings to develop, Derek. I haven't felt this way about anybody in a really long time and I get that you dont feel the same way, but you really shouldn't be interfering in my personal life."

Derek's head hung low as she finished her sentence. "I do admire you, Stella. So much. It's just, my past still haunts me to this day. I've lost so many people and I don't want to lose you to." Stella huffed in annoyance as tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. "Please stop pretending, Derek. Its hurting me more than you know." She turns away from Derek but stops in her tracks when he grips her wrist.

"I love you, Stella. So much, please don't leave." Stella looked up into Derek's eyes to try and find any sort of uneasiness but all she found was genuine love. Stella tries to push Derek off her but her fights back and places his lips on hers, engaging her in a passionate kiss. As time goes on, the kiss progresses into something more.

Stella and Derek pull apart when they notice that Isaac is skipping around them, throwing rose petals along with Erica. In the background, a soft romantic song played. Stella and Derek looked up to find Boyd and Peter looking smug as hell. "What in the hell is happening here?" Derek looked around the room at each person before the door opened, revealing Scott and Stiles.

"GET A ROOM AND HOOK UP ALREADY!" Isaac shouted from where he was standing as Scott and Peter looked at Derek and Stella. "That was step one, guys. Just wait until step 2." They both wiggled their eyebrows at the couple before Stiles piped up.

"Derek Hale, if you hurt her, so help me. I will grab some wolfsbane, wrap it in mistletoe and mountain ash and shove it up your furry ass."

#derek x oc #derek hale imagine #derek hale #derek hale fanfiction #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #isaac lahey #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf fandom #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf

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juviaafullbuster · 4 years

Text

Gruvia week - Day 6: Failure

BREAKING HER

Warnings: Angst

Relationship: Gruvia

Summary: Juvia goes through the seven stages of grief after being abandoned by Gray.

A/N:

This story takes place in the Avatar Arc during which Gray and Juvia lived together. It starts on the day Gray leaves Juvia. The story doesn't follow the events of the official story, leading to a more depressing and angsty end.

*************************************************

First stage: Shock

Juvia woke up with a weird feeling. Something was off. It was quiet, too quiet. Is it possible Gray was still asleep?

She pecked into his room only to be greeted by emptiness. His bed was still made, implying that he didn't use it since Juvia was the one who fixed it that way. The bag he usually threw into the corner of the room was gone. A bad feeling overcame her. She opened the wardrobe, finding nothing. All his things were gone.

It wasn't hard to figure out. He had been acting different for quite some time now. And yet, the thought still left her paralyzed on the spot. The shock hit her hard. He was gone. Gray had left her on her own.

Second stage: Denial

No. No, he wouldn't just leave. Not without a good reason. He would have told her. He might have just gone out. He'll come back for sure, he will come back for her. There's no way he would leave her here by herself. Not after everything they talked about, not after she shared her fear of being abandoned to him. Her Gray would never do that.

Third stage: Anger

Weeks passed and no sign of him. To say she was angry would be an understatement. Never before has she felt so betrayed. She spilled her heart out for him, told him her deepest fear and what does he do? The thing she's most afraid of. He abandons her. What the hell was he thinking? Juvia should have known better. She should have learnt by now. He was just like the rest, just another person who marched into Juvias life only to walk out again. She was angry at him, at herself, at the world.

Fourth stage: Bargaining

It had been months. But she would wait. Sit here, on this bench and wait. If she just waits a little longer, he will for sure come back. The rain drenched her, but she wouldn't give up. She had to keep waiting if she wanted. Bargaining with herself, she forced herself to sit through the rain, ignoring the shivers running down her spine.

Fifth stage: Depression

She had been waiting for so long and he still wasn't back. What was it that she had done wrong? What was it that pushed him away, made him leave her? What was it that made everyone leave?

Juvia used to tell herself it was the rain following her. That the rain was the reason she ended up in an orphanage, the reason she didnt have any friends back then, the reason she was dumped. But now she wasn't so sure anymore. The rain was gone. Gray only experienced for a short time during their battle before he managed to break her curse. There was no more rain and she was happy. She found friends and love. She found him. But now it was gone. Her friends were gone and he was gone and Juvia was alone again, the only company being the rain that had came back to haunt her.

Sixth stage: Testing

She looked for realistic solutions. She really tried. But nothing she came up with worked. She had to get over him, had to move on, find happiness elsewhere. It made sense, even to her. But she couldn't do it. Because if she wanted to move on, she needed to hate him. And she can't hate him while her heart keeps holding on to him so tightly.

Seventh stage: Acceptance

Six months. Six months had passed since that day she woke up to an empty home. Juvia was sick, a fever taking over her. Her skin was more pale than usual and she could barely keep her eyes open.

He wasn't coming back. She accepted that now. There was no reason to wait any longer. It was a waste of time. Juvia needed to move on, she needed to forget the boy who had captured her heart and saved her only to end up breaking it all over again. She had to start over.

One week later

They had successfully defeated Avatar and were heading home, planning on rebuilding the guild.

Grays eyes were focused on the water mage walking in front of him. He didn't get to properly talk to her yet, having been too engaged in the battle before. Gray had some explaining to do. He had hoped he'd get a chance after the battle but he realized very quickly that Juvia was purposely avoiding him. It wasn't like her at all. He understood of course, he was expecting a reaction from her after all. He was hoping she would lash out on him, scream at him, maybe even slap him the way Lucy had too, just anything to let out her feelings. But she didn't.

She was quiet, simply ignoring him. And for some reason that was so much worse.

When they finally arrived in Magnolia, Gray was determined to talk to Juvia and make things right. Waiting for the rest to leave, he caught up with the blunette, reaching out for her arm and stopping her in her way.

"Juvia, can we talk?"

She didn't answer him, but she didn't shrug him off either so Gray took that as a sign to continue.

"I'm sorry. Erza made me promise not to tell anyone about the mission. I didn't mean to leave you like that. I had planned to-"

"It doesn't matter."

Gray looked at her a little dumbfounded. He didnt expect her to interrupt him and this was definelty not the response he had expected either. He thought she'd be angry, sad and disappoint but seeing the cold expression on her face, the way she shrugged his apology off, the way she seemed so unbothered, it was so much worse than anything he could have predicted.

This wasn't his Juvia anymore. This was the Juvia he had met during his encounter with the Phantom Lord guild. He had really messed up this time..

"What- what do you mean?"

"Your reasons. They don't matter, not anymore. They would have six months ago, maybe even one month ago, but not now. It's too late for that. Juvia waited so long, too long. Kept telling herself that you would come back, that you wouldn't leave her, looked for her faults, what she did, where she had gone wrong. But now Juvia realized that she wasn't the problem. Juvia didn't do anything wrong. She loved you and trusted you and you betrayed that trust. Juvia told you about her fear of being abandoned, being alone, and you did exactly that. Juvia didn't think you could hurt her, but she was wrong. Noone had ever hurt Juvia like that."

"Juvia thought you were her hero, her prince saving her from this terrible world. Pulling her out of the rain. But she was wrong. Because you only saved her to break her heart all over again. And this time it hurts so much more."

Gray could feel his heart breaking at her words. He could see the tears in her eyes, which she so desperately tried to hold back. She wouldn't let him see her like that, so pathetic and vulnerable. He knew he hurt her by leaving, he just didnt realize the extent of her pain.

"I will make it up to you Juvia, I promise."

"You can't. Not anymore. It's over. Juvia is done."

"Juvia don't-"

"You brought the rain back Gray."

It was the last sentence she spoke before releasing herself from his grip and continuing her walk away. Gray watched her retreating figure. It wasn't until she was out of sight that he finally registered the tears rolling down his face.

She called him Gray, not Graysama, not darling, just Gray. She was really done with him. All this time she stuck with him, defending him, supporting him and it ended like this. He hurt the person he cherished the most. No, he didn't just hurt her, he broke her.

Gray failed the one person he promised to protect and love. The one person he wanted to make his. And there was no coming back from this, it was the failure that was always going to follow him, cutting deep in his heart and breaking him, just like it had broken her.

@gruviaweek

#gruvia week 2020 #gruvia week #gruvia #fairy tail gray #fairy tail juvia #fairy tail #ft juvia #ft gray #gray x juvia #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #back to writing

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reineyday · 4 years

Text

when geralt sends jaskier away on the mountain, he's still fired up about yen--all he could think about was how angry and hurt he was that she would just leave him on the mountain like that, and he doesnt spare a single thought for jaskier aside from a fast "good, the stupid bard left before me, i cant stand chatter right now" when he sees the empty camp

he burns about yen all the way down the mountain, and tries to ignore how torn apart he feels at her leaving, because they'd had a moment, dammit! he'd been vulnerable for her where he's never been before and she drives him crazy and he can't stand that she just left

it's not until he sets up camp that night that he notices the lack of jaskier for the first time: he's removing his gear from roach and brushing her down, and when he turns around to face the clearing, he wonders why there isn't a fire already going until, oh yeah, he yelled at jaskier today and jaskier left before him

"good riddance," he thinks, rolling his eyes as he starts to pick up firewood, and his thoughts turn once more to yennefer

in the morning, geralt wakes up and broods a little more about yennefer, and then keeps brooding as he starts to get roach ready to teavel again, and then he gets on the road and broods until he's hungry, and he frowns because it feels like he's been brooding a long time? he hasnt been in a bad mood for this long in a while, but it's strange because surely he's capable of staying broody for a very long time and yet his face feels out of practice at frowing for this long

the lack of response to his continued frown has him instinctively looking down at the road where jaskier would be walking beside him and realizes that usually jaskier would have said something stupid enough to knock him out of his brooding by now

well, whatever, now that he's realized he's been brooding for too long, he'll just stop doing it because he doesn't need jaskier

he enters a village, stopping to check the notice board and seeing there's a contract he can take care of tomorrow, and he makes his way to the tavern; he sits down and remembers how beautiful yen looked when she walked in with that stupid knight and his thoughts sour again, remembering how she left him

he tries to steer his thoughts away from yennefer once more and his eyes land on someone that is taking the bread on their plate and putting it in their pockets for god knows what reason, and he turns to jaskier to tease him because he would surely know the reason--he's had bread in his pants before and gods that was the first stupid thing jaskier ever said to him, wasnt it--and then he remembers that, oh yeah, geralt yelled at jaskier and then jaskier left the mountain ahead of geralt, and that's why jaskier isn't here

hmm

whatever, he doesn't need jaskier and he definitely doesn't need yennefer, and now he's mad at her again and gods damn it

he finishes his food and heads to the inn across fron the tavern where he pays for a room, and when he gets to the room, it's small--doesnt even have a table--and he's already mentally preparing himself for the irritated muttering that he'll have to shut out when jaskier comes in and inevitably complains about the lack of space to sit down and compose and lay out all his papers before he remembers, oh right, yesterday he yelled at jaskier on the mountain and then jaskier left before they could leave together and this was after arguing with yennefer and ugh

geralt sits on the bed, emotionally exhausted, and he's tired of being angry about yen and that's it, he's done with that, and he gazes to jaskier's side of the bed and idly predicts where exactly jaskier's gonna keep his lute because he's precious about it and he actually walks around their room or their campsite before they settle for the night to find the least damp place to put it but geralt cant fault him because he's the same with his potions and then he remembers again that, right, he yelled at jaskier on the mountain and jaskier's not gonna be here to stash his lute anywhere that's not damp

he sits there and realizes that he really is done with his anger toward yen, the burning is gone and he's left with a drained feeling and the emptiness of jaskier's side of the bed, because of course they both have sides on the bed, theyre always together

except now theyre not, because geralt yelled at him on the mountain and wished he would be out of his life, and jaskier listened and left

without burning anger filling him up, he realizes that there is a hole he didnt notice when he left the mountain, and shit, jaskier's not here and it's eerily silent in this room and in his head

geralt rests for the night but finds it strange and somewhat discomfiting to not fall asleep to the lullabye of jaskier's heartbeat, the rhythmic exhale of his breath

in the morning, geralt wakes up without jaskier in the bed beside him and no lute case anywhere in the room and he feels destabilized

he thinks of the mountain and his mind brushes on his argument with yen and feels tired about it, and then he remembers yelling at jaskier, the way geralt felt his face contort in anger, and he thinks of the look on jaskier's face right before geralt turned around, and he suddenly remembers jaskier's hesitant tone when he said he'd get the story from someone else and he can almost imagine the look on his face, and fuck, has jaskier ever sounded hesitant in his life? did geralt make him hesitant?

he goes down to grab some breakfast before pursuing the contract he saw on the notice board, and when the plate comes, it's got jaskier's favourite fruit on it and he quirks his eyebrow and starts to turn toward the bard on reflex, ready for the small warmth that comes with seeing jaskier delighted, and then remembers jaskier's not here because geralt yelled at him, and fuck

fuck

he can't deny it to himself anymore, he's definitely missing jaskier by his side and it's only the second day

shit, it's like the world is weirdly quiet without jaskier's chatter, his mind irritatingly silent where before there had been a space full of words and melodic laughter and teasing grins and he didn't even realize he made space for jaskier in his life because he didnt want to admit it to himself that they were friends

were they best friends? is this how friendship makes you feel? has jaskier been right this entire time?

he thinks he would ask jaskier about it and then feels guilty because he doesnt have jaskier, he yelled at him on a mountain top, and then geralt thinks that those thoughts are probably telling enough

fuck, he misses his bard... dare he admit it to himself? he misses his... friend

now what?

#geralt #geralr of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #gerskier #geralt x jaskier #i was tryna figure out how geralt would come to realize hefucked up with jaskier when his thoughts are clearly very occupied with yennefer #and i got this #yknow that creeping feeling you get when u realize u took something for granted and now regret that u did cuz it's gone?#that's what i was going for lol #the witcher #the witcher netflix #rei writes

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cloudphillips · 4 years

Text

Back To December

Summary: It was only a month before December 13

A month before December 13

The sensation of featherlight touches stirred Joohyun from her sleep. It traced patterns along the slender tilt of her nose down to the curve of her jaw before an voice so sweet yet distant whispered to her ear. "Wake up sleepyhead."

A soft smile broke on the corners of her lips before she lazily dragged her arms and clung onto the person beside her. "Five more minutes Wan." She groaned upon burying herself in the comforts of her lover's embrace, deeply smelling the scent of jasmine and relishing in the warmth Seungwan had to offer.

"You said that earlier." Seungwan fondly ran her fingers through the smooth tresses of Joohyun's raven hair before affectionately placing a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Come on you lazy butt. I already cooked breakfast." Her efforts remained futile since Joohyun wouldn't budge.

"Please. Just give me five more minutes with you." Was Joohyun's simple response as she tightened her hold around Seungwan, clearly indicating that she had no intentions of letting go. In the end, Seungwan finally relented because how could she ever say no to Joohyun.

Five minutes turned to ten until it lasted for an hour before Seungwan decided that Joohyun had enough rest. The sunlight was already streaming from the curtains and birds were already chirping merrily to start the wonderful day. Brushing away stray locks of raven hair, Seungwan nudged her girlfriend awake. "Wake up Hyun. You need to let me go."

Seungwan's odd choice of sentence brought a chill down her spine and promptly caused a small frown to paint her features. Joohyun didn't like hearing those words. She greatly detested it. Tightening her hold around her girlfriend's waiste, she whispered hollowly. "I won't."

The blonde merely shook her head. "Then you'll be stuck with me forever." If they'll just laze around all they, they won't get anything done. At this point, will they ever accomplish anything?

"Good. Because I'm binding myself to you."

"If you keep saying things like that, how can you expect me not to marry you?"

***

A week before December 13

"So when are we gonna get married?"

Joohyun abruptly asked Seungwan out of the blue when they were cuddling on the couch, enjoying the warmth of the fireplace while sipping hot chocolate on a cold night. Snow fell like droplets of rain and enveloped the earth in a winter wonderland. Christmas was already nearing and most people were out buying presents. Meanwhile, the couple decided to skip the holiday rush and just spend some time together.

Seungwan choked on her drink and felt the hot beverage scalding her tongue. Joohyun soothingly patted her back as she tried to recover from the shock. "What??" The blonde probably looked like a bewildered mess but she completely blames her girlfriend for making her like this.

"I said, when are we going to get married?" Joohyun repeated, like a mother speaking to a toddler, perfectly enunciating the words to ensure that Seungwan would hear them correctly.

"I don't know Hyun. Don't you think it's a little sudden for that?" Seungwan preoccupied herself with wiping away the stain on her sleeves. Her girlfriend remained silent for long while and when she looked up, saw Joohyun frowning in disdain.

"So you don't want to get married with me?" She was demanding an explanation and didn't look quite at all pleased. Joohyun probably took offense in that statement.

Seungwan was quick to backtrack and reassure her. "No no no. It's just that... I would still have to buy you one of those large diamond rings with 24 carats, take you out on an expensive dinner, sweep you off your feet and propose under the night sky." She rubbed her neck and acted all sheepish. "I actually planned everything back before to make sure the plan was perfect. All that's left is my properly timed execution."

The blonde was fully rambling now. Her hands flew around to make wild gestures and Joohyun found her heart melting at her girlfriend's confession. She was happy, completely over the moon, upon knowing that she wasn't the only feeling the same way. That she wasn't the only one thinking of spending their whole lives together.

"I don't want a fancy wedding." Joohyun gingerly took Seungwan's hand and laced their fingers together. "I just want you." She lifted her gaze and stared deeply into those eyes with deep pools of brown that she countlessly found herself drowning in.

"I want to grow old with you."

There was tension in the way their gazes met. The gap between them slowly diminished until they forgot which one began and the other ended. Seungwan conquered Joohyun in a feat of everlasting kiss as their bodies joined together in a heated urgency. Clothes were torn and wills clashed. Joohyun was unable to contain a moan when Seungwan bit a particularly sensitive spot. She wanted to fight the blonde for dominance but she was helpless, especially when her lover expertly used her fingers to draw out the monster inside of Joohyun. Halos of light clouded her vision and she gasped breathlessly as Seungwan brought her to another high. When she was about to reach the peak, she cried out. "Take me! Take all of me!" All the while staring into those brown orbs when she felt those lips marking her, claiming her, conquering her.

Seungwan grunted as she continued her ministrations and together they lapsed into surreal bliss. Their height of passion slowly dwindling to a mellow crescendo. The blonde collapsed on top of her and sweat clung onto their bodies after their passionate lovemaking but all Joohyun could ever think about was having Seungwan close. There was a lull of silence in the air as they stared into each other's eyes and Joohyun declared the words she had long kept hidden.

"Please don't ever leave me."

Seungwan didnt deign a reply as she affectionately placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be yours until the sun doesn't shine."

Her lips trailed along slender nose. "Til' time stands still."

"Until the winds don't blow."

Then she sealed her promise with a kiss.

***

A day before December 13

"Babe. I need to leave."

Seungwan was already donning her coat and tying shoes when she called out to Joohyun, who was lounging by the living room, watching the daily weather forecast. The news anchor predicted that a heavy storm will hit tomorrow and adviced everyone to stay indoors to avoid getting stranded.

"Where are you going?" Joohyun frowned when she saw the blonde heading for the doors.

"Just gonna buy some groceries. I won't be taking long." Her girlfriend shrugged before taking the keys from the bowl by the counter and checked her wallets for extra money.

For some reason, Joohyun felt uneasy as dread crept up her spine. She watched as her girlfriend kissed her farewell and headed towards the door. This odd sense of deja vú became something she couldn't ignore. Like, Seungwan leaving her alone somehow happened before and that thought alone scared her.

"Wan?" She called out just before the blonde could fully walk out the door.

"Yes?" Her girlfriend flashed her a bright smile. Joohyun couldn't shake the feeling that this would be the last time she'd ever see Seungwan.

"Don't go where I can't follow."

With that, she watched Seungwan walk out the door and completely left her alone.

***

An hour before December 13

"Unnie, are you going to visit the memorial later?"

Seulgi spoke through the other end of the phone. She called a few moments before to check on Joohyun, knowing that today was a very special day, and see how her friend was doing.

It's been years... years since Seulgi talked to Joohyun. They've lost contact since she left and Joohyun haven't been the same ever since. The older girl had become more withdrawn and reclusive. She had never fully recovered from her loss. Joohyun practically had her entire soul ripped away after that unfortunate car accident. It was understandable that she was still grieving.

A flash of lightning briefly lighted the sky followed by the mighty roar of the thunder and that's when the rain started to pour.

"No Seul. I'll be staying home." Joohyun was pacing around the house, trying to calm the rising panick in her heart. Her hands wouldn't stop trembling and her entire body felt numb. Seungwan still hasn't returned and she was becoming terrified.

What if something happened to her along the way?

What if she couldn't come back home?

What if?

There was a brief pause at the other end of the line before Seulgi broke the silence. "Joohyun." The gravity of her tone caused the older girl to momentarily stop pacing. "You should go. It's been years since you last visited and I'm sure she misses you."

For some reason, anger bubbled inside Joohyun and she was unable to stop herself from lashing out. "Don't you dare speak about her!"

"You can't hide from reality forever." Seulgi's calm and understanding voice did nothing to alleviate her frustration. It only made it worse. "I think it's time you accept that she'll never come back."

"No one asked for your opinion Kang Seulgi." With gritted teeth, Joohyun ended the call and threw the phone away. The device hit the wall and broke into several pieces then rendered completely useless. Thunder roared above the heavens and Joohyun could only watch as the rain poured on and on. It seemed like it would never stop. She needed to find her girlfriend and bring her home.

Staring at the dark sky, she clenched her fists and decided to visit the only place where she could find Seungwan.

***

December 13

Joohyun finally arrived at her intended destination. Only brief flashes of lightning seared the sky and the rain had somehow stopped pouring. It seemed like a diving being was watching Joohyun and keeping her safe. Maybe it was her all along.

Releasing a shaky breath, she got out of the car and trudged through the snow as she made her way along the familiar path leading to the cemetery. She decided to visit today. Seulgi was right. It's been a long time coming and she couldn't hide from reality forever.

It's about time she found closure.

Stopping in front of a marbled tombstone laid on the ground, Joohyun settled down and carefully brushed away the snow that accumulated in order to discern the words imprinted on the slab.

Here lies Son Seungwan

Born: February 21, 1994

Died: December 13, 2020

No matter the distance between us, we’re always gonna be under the same sky.

"So you finally came after all this time."

Her gaze shifted to the person she'd been missing for years, casually leaning against the tombstone and flashing that megawatt smile, acting completely nonchalant as if she never left Joohyun devastated. Just the sight of her presence caused the older girl to break. It was painful seeing her like this and Joohyun was still hurting. This emptiness will probably never go away now that she took everything with her. "Seungwan."

"You promised you would never leave."

The smile on the blonde's lips was slowly replaced by a frown. "I know."

But Joohyun was too late to stop the tears from falling. "You promised that we'd get married and grow old together." Maybe she was holding on to this pain for too long. Maybe it was time she let it all out.

"You promised not to go to a place where I can't follow."

She missed Seungwan. She missed everything about her.

"Maybe if I hadn't argued with you on that day then you'd still be here beside me now."

Joohyun finally found the courage to stare into directly into her eyes. The very same eyes that haunted her every waking moment.

"When I stay up at night, I stare at the empty side of the bed and wonder about the things I would tell you if you were lying next to me."

Tears fell like droplets of rain.

"I can't do this without you."

A beat.

A moment of silence.

"You have to let me go Joohyun." Seungwan tried to reach out but her advances were denied.

"No!" Joohyun shook her head vehemently. She refused to forget Seungwan. How can she do that? How can she just forget the person she offered her heart to? How can she forget the very reason she was still breathing?

"You have to let me go my love. Stop dwelling in the past and just accept that I can never come back." Seungwan sat on the ground before Joohyun and gingerly wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks. "You still have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let the dead hold you back."

"Live for me Joohyun."

Seungwan laughed wholeheartedly and Joohyun had never before seen such a breathtaking sight. She tried to commit every bit of her features into memory so she could not forget... would never forget.

Her silky blonde hair that flowed against the breeze.

Her deep pools of brown eyes that held secrets of the universe.

Her soft lips that Joohyun will forever yearn to kiss.

"I love you." Joohyun whispered a promise.

Seungwan smiled contentedly and a glowing bright light enveloped her entire being. Joohyun watched as the love of her life was bathed in the sunlight and completely disappeared before her eyes, leaving her alone in that empty cemetery.

When blue returned home, the sky could only mourn in gray.

#wenrene #red velvet #irene #wendy #seulgi #angst #fluff

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starting-now · 4 years

Text

Three’s A Crowd (Barry x Reader x Sally)

This is a Christmas present for the AMAZING @fangirl-imagines! Thank you for being so supportive, kind, and wonderful, and for always being willing to rant about Bill Hader with me. You’re a great friend and I hope you enjoy the fic! Merry Christmas!💕

(gif by @deadlightcircus)

Word Count: 2033

Warnings: none

------------------------

You stood up on your tiptoes, reaching as far as you could to hang the last shimmering ornament on the perfect branch. You pulled your hand back and broke out into a wide grin at the perfection that was you Christmas tree. Took you long enough as it was already Christmas Eve.

“How’s it look? Finally perfect?” Sally asked, walking in from the kitchen, nervously wringing her hands. You could tell she was nervous about her performance in a few hours. You knew she’d do amazing; she always does.

“Finally perfect! Where’s Barry? He has to plug it in!” you said dramatically, strolling over to Sally and giving her a peck on the cheek. You heard Barry chuckle at your excitement as he entered the room. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you and Sally, resting his chin on top of your head.

“Why me?” he asked jokingly.

“Because it’s tradition!” you asserted with a smile.

“Can something really be a tradition if we’ve never done it before?” Sally questioned, but you just intertwined your fingers with hers and chuckled at her comment.

Barry crouched and grabbed the plug that snaked off the base of the tree. He looked up at you and Sally expectantly.

“Now it is.” he said as he plugged it into the socket on the wall.

The lit up tree took your breath away. The soft white lights shimmered off your ornaments and beads perfectly, sending glimmers of red and green across the evergreen leaves. It turned out just the way you wanted, filling the whole apartment with a sense of holiday cheer, and pulling together all the other Christmas decor perfectly. You smiled and Sally squeezed your hand, turning your attention towards her. The anxiety had melted off her face for a moment as she revelled in your happiness. Barry stood back and shoved his hands in his pockets before you pulled him over to you and linked your arm in his.

“It looks amazing, babe.” Sally said, her soft pink lips pulled into a sweet smile,her eyes still fixed on you. Barry nodded in agreement.

“Thank you! Are you guys ready for the performance?” you asked excitedly. You had seen Barry and Sally act before, but you were the most excited about this production. You loved watching them perform and you LOVED Christmas, so seeing your two favorite people performing A Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve was basically a dream come true. Barry looked at Sally and nodded hesitantly only after seeing that she had nodded.

“You guys are gonna do great.You should probably get going though right? I’ll see you there.” you assured, stealing a kiss from each of them as they grabbed their bags and headed out the door.

---------

Eventually, it was time for you to leave for Sally and Barry’s performance. You drove to the theater and got out of your car, adjusting your Christmas sweater and heading into the theater from the brisk LA night.

The lobby was decorated with wreaths and lights, no doubt Natalie’s personal touch as stage manager. You paid for your ticket and made your way into the theater. The stage was set like Scrooge’s office, and you smiled in excitement as you took your seat. You flipped through the program, reading about the production and shoving it into your bag to save.

The lights went down and to your delight, Sally was the first one to walk on stage. She was dressed in a particularly fetching suit type costume, complete with a top hat. She was portraying Charles Dickens, the narrator of the tale. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her as she walked across the stage, setting the scene for the story.

You thoroughly enjoyed the performance, but spent most of the time waiting for Sally as the narrator or Barry as Bob Cratchit. They both did just as amazing as you predicted. Sally was incredibly talented and kept the audience engaged even when Nick’s Ghost of Christmas Present went storming off the stage after flubbing his last line. And you could tell how much Barry had improved. You couldn’t help but mouth alone to his lines as you remembered practicing with him. You could still tell he was nervous, but he was more confident and put some real emotion into his lines.

Soon enough, the show was over and the cast came out on stage to take their bows. You and the rest of the audience stood up and clapped. You put a hand over your mouth and cheered loudly, catching Barry and Sally’s attention earning a wide smile from them both. The lights lit them up wonderfully, especially their smiled which you loved so much. You took a mental snapshot of them up there and made an effort to remember it.

Gene walked out on stage as the applause died down, and even he was in a cheerier mood than usual.

“Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed our production of Gene Cousineau’s ‘A Christmas Carol’. Please have a lovely holiday and remember, we have our limited edition Holiday Cousineau for sale in the lobby. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” he said dramatically. You giggled to yourself. Sometimes Barry and Sally’s stories made you doubt Gene’s existence but then here he was in front of you, just as eccentric and strange as they described.

The audience began filtering out as you waited patiently for Sally and Barry. When you saw them come out from behind the curtain you jumped from your seat and walked towards them, enveloping Barry and then Sally in a tight hug.

“Amazing show you guys! I’m so proud of you.” you said. Sally thanked you while Barry blushed, smiling and shoving his hands into his pockets.

You pulled two bouquets out of your bag, one of pink roses and one of baby’s breath. The pink roses went to Sally, her favorite flower in her favorite color, and she took them from you with a kind smile, pressing the sweet petals to her nose. The baby’s breath went the Barry. He hadn’t told you his favorite flower but you’d caught him admiring these in the store one day. He blushed and glanced up at you and back at the flowers before he grasped them shyly, mumbling a quiet thank you.

“So Natalie is throwing a cast party if you wanna come with us? We were really just gonna stop by I mean it’s totally fine if you don’t so don’t feel like you have to-“ Sally started but you interrupted her.

“I’d love to come! Natalie always throws good parties.” you said and she stopped her rambling, smiling warmly. You intertwined your fingers with both of theirs and left the theater to head towards Natalie’s.

——-

When you arrived, you grabbed two presents out of your trunk and headed towards the brightly lit house. Natalies decorations almost gave yours a run for their money. Almost.

You were inside fixing yourself a drink and chatting with Sasha when you felt two slender arms snake around your waist.

“I forgot to tell you at the theater you look adorable tonight.” Sally said, earning a smile from you. You leaned back enough to peck her on the cheek before spinning around and handing her a drink.

“Same to you, Mr. Dickens.” you joked, causing Sally to roll her eyes playfully as she took a sip from her cup.

“Where’s Barry?” you asked and Sally pointed across the room where Barry was hanging up his coat. You caught his eye and he gave you an awkward but happy wave as he crossed the room towards you. He was wearing a knit sweater that he must have put on in the car, as you didnt remember seeing it earlier. It was white and blue with red detailing and it really brought out his eyes. You met him halfway and wrapped him in a tight hug, pressing your cheek into the soft fabric.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Uh, long time no see?” he joked and you giggled in response.

“I love the sweater!” you commented, pulling back from the hug rubbing your hand up his sleeve.

“Oh, thanks! The guys in the Christmas movies you like are always wearing sweaters like this so I was kind of...inspired.” he admitted, fidgeting with the hem of it as he spoke.

You practically had heart eyes at that sentence. You couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. He was surprised at first but quickly melted into your touch, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. When you broke apart you couldn’t help but smile.

“You are the most adorable person in the world.” you said, making Barry blush furiously.

“Did someone call me?” Sally joked, coming up from behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“No but now that you’re both here I actually have something for you! Maybe we could get a little privacy?” you suggested, gesturing towards the dining room where there weren’t any guests currently.

They followed you in, the sound of Christmas music and chatter from the next room dampened by the distance and walls of the dining room. You dug through your bag and pulled out two small boxes, handing one to Barry and one to Sally.

“Oh, um I thought we were doing gifts tomorrow?” Barry asked, hesitantly taking the box from your hands.

“Yea, I didn’t bring any of yours.” Sally said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“No don’t worry about it! Another ‘tradition’ is that we open one present on Christmas Eve, and I’ve been dying to give these to you anyway.” you assured, nodding at them in encouragement to open the gift.

Sally opened hers methodically, starting at the seam and slowly unfolding the paper. Barry on the other hand ripped at whatever corner was easiest, a satisfied smile gracing his face at the ripping noise it made. They both opened their boxes and Sally put a hand over her mouth.

Inside was a thin leather bracelet, a light tan for Sally, and a deep brown for Barry. They were engraved with all three of your initials, and on the inner band it said ‘Two is company, three is a crowd. Here’s to being a crowd.’ It was an old inside joke from when the three of you first got together, but it seemed to mean so much more now.

Sally looked up at you with a surprised smile. You held up you arm in response, which was graced with a matching bracelet in a medium brown leather. She closed the distance between you, hugging you and pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.

“Thank you so much. I love it.” she said, punctuated by another kiss.

You glanced over at Barry, who was still staring into the box. You furrowed you brow.

“Barry? Is everything okay? Do you like it?” you asked, concern lacing your voice. You ducked your head to catch his eye and he looked up at you.

“...Like it? It’s...it’s rad.” he said, his voice breaking slightly but a smile spreading across his face.

You rushed to his side, wrapping your arms around him. He held you tightly, then leaned back, his hands resting on your arms.

“I’ve just...I’ve never had...I mean, this…” he fumbled, not being able to find the right words and settling on pulling you into his arms again instead. You laughed breathlessly and held him tight, pressing a kiss to his lips when he finally moved back slightly.

You held your hand out and Barry placed the bracelet in your palm, holding out his wrist. You fastened the bracelet and turned towards Sally to do the same.

“I love you both so much. Merry Christmas.” you said.

“We love you too.” Barry said, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“We sure do. Merry Christmas.” Sally chimed in, doing the same with your other hand.

So your little crowd headed back into the party.

And you all wondered what you did to deserve each other.

#barry hbo #Barry Berkman #barry block #barry fanfiction #barry x reader #barry berkman x reader #barry berkman fanfiction #barry block x reader #sally reed #sally x reader #sally reed x reader #sally barry hbo #sally reed fanfiction #sally x reader x barry #barry x reader x sally #im sorry bill hader #im NOT sorry bill hader

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honeysuckle-writings · 4 years

Text

PART THREE PREGAME AMASAI

*************************

Saihara had been so distracted after everything that once his time was up, he almost forgot to get his game back from Akamatsu. He had watched Amami walked out of the aisle before he leaned back against the book shelf and closed his eyes. What the fuck just happened? Why would Amami even acknowledge him in that sense? Saihara took a moment to collect himself before he attempted to leave. He walked back towards his table and grabbed his bag before exiting the library.

Through everything, he felt like he was on cloud nine. He almost wanted to ask Akamatsu to slap him across the face just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. She would end up being way too happy about that request though.

Luckily he didn't have to go far. Akamatsu had been sitting outside of the door on the ground playing on his console.

"Oh, I d-didnt expect to see you h-here." Saihara figured he would have to go and hunt her down.

"Eh. Didn't want to go far. Too busy." She kept her sentences short, obviously in an intense part of the level.

"I appreciate it."

"I didn't do it for you. I just wanted to spend more time playing and less time fighting people off from talking to me. Fuck!" She growled at the screen and tilted her head back. "Fine. Take the stupid thing back. I'm gunna smash it if I keep trying it."

Saihara reached out and took the console without saying anything.

"You seem like you're in another dimension." She stated as she stood up and flattened out her skirt.

"Oh. Uhm. N-no." He couldn't just tell her what happened. She would not believe him and think he just had a wet dream during detention, resulting in her making fun of him even more. "I'm just, uh, ready t-to get home and get someth-thing to eat."

"Yeah." She didn't enjoying going back to her place either. Saihara never pryed too much into her personal life, but knew most nights she didn't go home until well after 11 or 12 when her parents were asleep. She would bounce between friends and hanging out just to pass time. He wondered where she would be going tonight.

They made their way outside, the sun in it's early stages of setting because of the changing season. Saihara didn't live too far from the school making it very easy to walk to and from. Akamatsu normally walked with him until they reached a stop sign at the end of the street before she would break off and head off on her own.

"I-ill see you tomorrow alright?" Saihara waved at her as she shoved headphones into her ears. She nodded at him and quickly turned on her heel.

Saihara dug his keys out of his pocket and made his way up his front porch steps to the door. Once he entered, he knew immediately that his uncle was probably at his office doing some work on a case and he would be alone to fend for himself. This would include making a small rice side or microwave dinner and enjoying some YouTube theories that people had over the last season and predictions for the new season of Danganronpa, right after a shower of course. He could not stay in his clothes for much longer.

He knew he should probably eat better but microwaved food was so much quicker than actually putting in effort to cook. Finally cleaned and cuddled up in his pajamas, Saihara sat down on the couch facing the television in the living room. He plugged up his laptop to the HDMI cord and displayed his YouTube page on the screen.

He thought about shooting a text to Ouma and seeing how he was doing. After seeing him with Amami, he wondered if he could get any info or reasoning why. Did Ouma know what Amami had done? If they were together, would he be mad at him for doing that to Saihara? Did Amami tell Ouma he was spying? He didn't want to make anything worse for Ouma that's for sure but he had so many questions that were overwhelming him.

Saihara sighed and took his phone off the table and sent the text anyway. He at least wanted to strike up conversation again. Ouma was one of the cutest boys he has ever seen. His hair so puffy and soft that he wanted to just pet it, and if you got him laughing then you would become addicted to the sound. Saihara did have a bit of a crush on him when they had first met, but his timid personality clashed with Saihara's inept one. Now he was settling for a simple friendship.

Saihara: *Hey Ouma! What are you up to?* He set the phone down and began to eat on one of the sides from his dinner and pressed play on a video.

Soon a notification on his phone went off.

Ouma: *Hey,, I'm just doing homework. You..?*

Ouma was even timid in his messages.

Saihara: *I'm eating dinner finally and trying to relax.*

Ouma: *oh, yeah I saw you had to stay after. That super sucks.*

Fuck so he did see Saihara there at least?

Saihara: *Oh yeah! You came in sometime during that huh?? There was someone else with you, I think?* He had to play it cool. Maybe he could make it seem like he didn't even know him.

Ouma: *Oh, uhm, yeah.*

Saihara huffed. That was all Ouma was going to say?

Saihara: *That's cool!* He really wanted to press further but wasn't exactly sure what to say. *Is he a friend of yours? Boyfriend? ;) Name??*

It took a lot longer for him to respond this time. Saihara wondered if he had scared him away. He really just, didn't know how to talk to people most of the time. He would become annoying or exhausting and people would eventually cast him away. Social cues just were not his specialty, but he really was trying to work on it.

While he waited, Saihara reached down on the ground for his messenger bag and lifted the flap to look for his notebook. It wasn't right there in the front. He could have sworn he had just stuck it in. He checked behind the other things he had but there was no trace of the notebook. Saihara's eyes widened and he suddenly felt his chest tightening. Fuck.

He knew the sound of his phone had gone off but it sounded so muffled, much like he was underwater. His vision also started to become blurry. Did he leave it at the library? Did it somehow fall out? Someone was going to take it and his life would be over. He found himself gasping for air, the room feeling like it had been closing in on him and he was losing oxygen.

Shakily he reached back into his bag once more, not for his missing notebook, but another compartment that held a small bottle. He flipped the lid off taking a small pill out and took it with a swig of his drink. He kept these on him for moments like this. Moments when he was loosing himself in an attack and needed help to calm it down. He was supposed to be taking them regularly but he opted to only take them during panic attacks.

His mind was running 80 mph as he imagined scenarios of someone picking up his notebook and spreading everything through the school. He grabbed a couch pillow and shoved his face into it, trying to regulate his breathing and keep himself from passing out.

It felt like years to him, but finally he felt himself begin to relax. He could still feel a sense of fear, but his breathing had gone down and his body felt weak. The downside of this was the feeling afterwards, like almost a delay in his reactions. It certainly calmed him down, but it didn't fully take away the feeling that got him there. It was just easier to handle now.

The pillow fell lazily to the ground with a thump and Saihara looked over to his phone. Maybe he would look and distract himself from everything. As he pressed his on button, the screen lit up and it took a second for his vision to adjust to focusing on it. He clicked on the text message Ouma had sent a while ago.

Ouma: *saihara, we both know you know who he is..*

Ouma wasn't wrong. He really didn't think about it when he had sent his reply earlier. He probably looked like a big dumbass. What was he even supposed to say now? A lot of time had passed so he assumed Ouma thought he had ignored him after being called out. Shit another great attempt at a friendship.

Saihara: *Sorry, I know. I was just trying to keep up conversation and not sound too stalkery.*

He put his phone down on to his laptop and looked over at the food he hadn't finished eating. At this point his appetite was shot so it was going to end up as lunch for the next day. Saihara pulled himself up on to wobbly legs and took the bowl to the fridge. Another ding came from his phone, and then another as he finally got back over to the couch.

Ouma had replied.

Ouma: *You're fine,, no worries. Its good that you didnt freak out about it... hehe*

One thing did bother him about the responses. Ouma never addressed the boyfriend part of his question. Saihara wondered if maybe that was intentional. Maybe Ouma didn't want anyone to know or maybe he thought Saihara would throw a fit if he knew, which wasn't the case at all.

But another number had also contacted him.

*Saihara.*

That was, weird. Saihara stared at the message trying to figure out what the best response should be. This mystery number was just another thing on top of his already overwhelmed plate.

Saihara: *Maybe?* That was the stupidest response but nothing else seemed like it would be vague enough to match the vibe.

*Are you missing something?*

Saihara's eyes widened. This had to be the person who stole his notebook.

Saihara: *What gives you the right to dig into my stuff?*

He'd be lying if he said he was anything less than livid. Who had the balls to dig into others belongings? In all actuality, he could think of a few. Momota came to mind. He wouldn't think twice about taking whatever he wanted and having more of a reason to ridicule him. Saihara hoped to whatever deity out there that it wasn't him.

*Says the person who likes to eavesdrop on conversations he isn't a part of.*

Saihara re-read the message at least ten times in his head. No, no way. It couldn't be him. How would he have even gotten his phone number? He didn't have it written down in the notebook anywhere. Maybe someone had been watching them?

Before he knew it, Saihara had pressed the call button at the top of the text messages, determined to get to the bottom of it.

The phone rang three times before it was answered.

"Yeah?"

There was no mistaking that voice. Even over the phone it made him melt like butter.

"Amami?" His voice came out breathy, with a small squeak as he struggled to fit pieces together.

"Mhmm." Amami answered with more of a confirming noise than anything.

"You, you have m-my notebook?"

"You really like Danganronpa don't you?"

Well that answered it. Saihara stayed quiet at that. The answer was completely obvious. Then it hit him. All of the pages that had been dedicated to Amami, were now in his hands.

"Did you, uhm, uh, re-read all o-of it?" Saihara began to bite on his finger nails trying desperately to stay grounded.

"Eh, not yet. You kind've interrupted me." How was Amami so chill about this. He acted so nonchalant about what he had done, about the reactions he was recieving from Saihara.

"Listen, uhm, c-can I just hav-ve it back, please?"

"Sure. I'll give it back to you tomorrow. If you don't get yourself stuck back in the library again."

Saihara pulled his finger out of his mouth and huffed loud enough to he heard against the reviever.

"H-how did you ev-ven get my n-number?" He may have sounded a bit more agitated than he intended to show.

"That's for me to know. Got it?" His smooth, relaxed voice now had a firm sound to it.

"O-okay." Saihara responded immediately. It was time for him to accept his fate at this point.

"I'm not going to share it with anyone." Amami reassured him, almost like he could hear what Saihara was thinking. "I'm not the type of person to do that."

"B-but you're th-the type to s-steal out of pe-peoples bags?"

There was a moment of silence between the two.

"I-im sorry. I d-didnt mean to, to snap." Saihara apologized. "I was j-just, uh, freaking out earlier."

Amami had made another noise in response to the confession. "I'm not surprised. Look, I'll give it to you tomorrow. No one else will see it. Meet me at the store across the street in the morning okay?"

"Okay. Uhm. I just, I advise you b-before you read more. It's uh, s-some of it m-may have you in it."

"Do you not want me to read that then?"

That caught him off guard. Did Amami really care enough to skip the pages doodled in hearts about him? Or would he lie and read them anyway?

"If you really don't want me to then I won't. I haven't gotten far. Just a couple of excecution you have planned out."

Saihara thought for a moment. Amami had touched him in the library today. What if he was actually eager to read what was in there? Maybe Amami could handle it, if he felt the same way. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of Amami feeling the same way about him.

Deep down, it was also thrilling to have him read those fantasies.

"Y-you can."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I-I don't mind. Just, d-dont hate me for some of the s-stuff in there."

"Want me to tell you when I have or keep it to myself?"

This all seemed to point towards Amami actually caring about his feelings in all of this. It reassured Saihara that perhaps things wouldn't be so bad. Maybe the outcome would be much like the movies where one person would read the love letters and fall in love with the sender.

"Please tell me. I'll b-be worried sick if I just, just don't know anything."

"Will do then. I'll text you." And with that Amami hung up.

Saihara let out a shaky breath and saved the number into his phone. Amami's name, with quite a few hearts following. He couldn't help it. This is not at all how he thought he and Amami would start talking, but he still relished in seeing that name in his contacts and felt like he was in a dream state. That night he was going to eagerly wait with his phone volume turned up.

#pregame amasai #rantaro amami #shuichi saihara #danganronpa #drv3

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fan-clan-fun · 4 years

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These cats are just a pair of siblings that I had a lot of fun working on. They are basically two sides of the same coin, foils to each other. They are members of a fan clan (I know, shocker) called HawkClan.

I apologise for any grammatical errors, weird sentence structures or anything like that, english isn’t my native language.

Wonderful! And no worries about the writing, Im always impressed by non-native english speakers and their impressive english, at least when compared to the other languages I myself supposedly speak. So let’s see what we have!

Adderstar: Massive, intimidating, a frightening foe. These are the words most cats would use to describe HawkClan’s young leader, Adderstar. But don’t let her physical appearance fool you, this huge tabby has an ever bigger, albeit squeamish heart!

Born into a litter of three, Adderkit was the biggest and strongest one. She would often be found rough housing with her two brothers and the other kits in the nursery. But with great power comes great responsibility. That’s a lesson Adderkit needed to be taught the hard way. During one of their usual play sessions she accidentally tackled one of her brothers, Shadowkit, violently, breaking one of his ribs which caused internal bleeding. Despite the medicine cat’s best efforts, Shadowkit passed away. After that, Adderkit refused to play with the other kits, especially if they were younger or smaller than her. Blazekit, angry with his sister and unable to cope with the loss of his brother, became cold, angry and distant. He now refuses to acknowledge Adderstar as anything more than a leader and lashes out at any cat who points out their obvious connection.

Interesting, Im curious about when she would have done this and how. Cats can do some serious damage, but to have the strength (unless it was aided by height or some other advantage) to cause a broken bone and internal bleeding would be quite difficult, not impossible, just difficult. But! Maybe an easier ( and even more heartwrenching) way it could have happened, was if their sibling got an infection when Adderkit played carelessly with claws out. It could have made Adderkit much more careful of how she fought. That said, I really do like this motivation, and either way if you wish to keep it, would make for a compelling character development.

Moons passed, but memories of her brother kept haunting the she-cat, even when she started her apprenticeship. Darkstar, the former leader, having seen her potential and her struggles, decided to mentor the young cat himself. Both cats were insanely stubborn, refusing to acknowledge the faults of their ways; Darkstar, too focused on battle tactics and strength, and Adderpaw, afraid of her own power and abilities. The two cats clashed on multiple occasions, but Darkstar wasn’t known for giving up a challenge. He realized that the best motivation for Adderpaw was the pain of others. He would often put himself, sometimes other cats, in dangerous situations that would require immediate action from Adderpaw to solve. This is why Adderstar is so good at fighting badgers, according to some cats. Slowly but surely, the two started to understand and trust each other.

See I like the dynamic between Darkstar and Adderpaw.... but I dont think it would be either wise or realistic that a clan leader would allow either themselves or clanmates into a potentially dangerous situation just to encourage an apprentice. Maybe if it wasnt actually dangerous, but it would be a bit odd to put the responsibility on an apprentice to save the day, when it would be the leader’s job to do that. Unless... well I’ll address it below.

Many moons later, Adderfang was made deputy, instead of Blazestep, whom many cats regarded as the best warrior in HawkClan. This widened the rift between the two siblings even more. Adderfang never thought of becoming a leader. She just wanted to fulfill her warrior duties and get her mind off her brother’s death. She didn’t want to be a leader, she had no need for more worries.

So I do think it is very odd that Adderfang would have been chosen as deputy when the rest of the clan regarded their sibling better. That said, you could argue that Darkstar’s actions in her apprenticeship (reckless self endargerment and potential endangerment of others) and then choosing her as deputy over other better liked candidates, could point to nepotism or serious character flaws. I feel like there is more going on with Darkstar that might need to be addressed for this to work. Not impossible, but an interesting conundrum.

“He has the heart and passion of a Bear. You have the strength and clarity of a Hawk.” That was all Darkstar said. Adderfang understood none of that. Strength? Well, she had that. And what good did that bring her? Death and sadness, nothing more. Clarity? All her life, she knew nothing, but confusion. What is her place in her clan? Does a murderer even deserve a place to call home? She tried to pry Darkstar for more; she needed reasons, true reasons, not baseless statements. But Darkstar wouldn’t say more. He’d just smile, like he knew something that no other cat did. “You’ll understand one day, mousebrain.”

But even after standing on the shores of the High Lake (A/N: it’s just a big, icy lake, this is where deputies are made leaders under the full moon), even after becoming Adderstar, she still couldn’t quite grasp what those words meant.

Im curious what those words mean too, I feel like there could be some background spiritual stuff going on.

Blazestep: HawkClan’s finest warrior. And also it’s angriest one, this jet black cat is one scorching inferno. He’s brash, aggressive, and he’s not afraid of showing his fangs or unsheathing his claws. How does one small, frightened kit grow up to be a walking volcano, ready to erupt at any moment?

His brother’s death hit Blazekit harder than any blow from a cat ever could. Shadowkit was the only kit willing to play with the weakling Blazekit. All the others would mock or turn their backs on him. And, playing with Adderkit was just plain sad. Even as a young kit, Blazekit could see that Adderkit was going easy on him. Never once did she shove him too hard, bit or scratched him playfully. What’s worse, she even pretended to be hurt when Blazekit tackled her or batted at her with his tiny paws. Blazekit hated all of it. He hated Adderkit and her pity, he hated the disgusted and mocking looks of the other kits. Shadowkit was the only other cat he could confide in.

And then Shadowkit was stripped away from him, by Adderkit of all cats. Blazekit was truly alone now.

Sounds like a lonely and frustrated kit, poor guy.

Adderkit tried to reconnect with him, but he rejected her pitiful attempts. It’s not like Adderkit made such a tremendous effort either: whenever Blazekit would confront her, she’d just avert her gaze, murmur something and leave with her tail drooping. Blazekit hated it. He hated how Adderkit couldn’t face the truth, how she couldn’t, no, didn’t take responsibility for her strength. Instead of realizing the power in her paws, she just hid away from it. Blazekit hated it.

Moons went by, and soon, it was Blazepaw’s turn to prove himself. His mentor, Nettlemoon was the exact opposite of the fiery tom. Nettlemoon tried to teach the young cat patience, but Blazepaw would have none of it. Despite this, he was an outstanding apprentice; he could execute most moves with ease and with little practice and he was excellent at predicting his opponent’s next move. He was just bad at catching squirrels.

But being good wasn’t enough for Blazepaw, he wanted to be the best. He’d train long and hard after nightfall, when the clan was asleep, often overworking and injuring himself. He had to get stronger. No cat will make fun of him anymore, he’ll make sure of that.

So at this point I really worry for this apprentice, and worry that neither his mentor of the clan around him seemed to notice his struggle. I cant imagine that his mentor wouldnt have noticed his injuries and addressed them. He may be hot headed and determined to be the best, but there is only so much he can get away with before he should have consequences. Then again, if you do continue with the thread of Darkstar putting himself in danger, I suppose an absent mentor wouldnt be entirely unrealistic for the clan.

He was Blazestep now, but his goals never changed. And he was going to make it. He could already see Darkstar appointing him as deputy. He could see all of those mocking glares turn into quick, wary glances filled with fear. He could see himself standing on top of The Ruins (A/N: a place for the leaders to stand during clan meetings, it’s just an old church overgrown with weeds and trees), fur blowing in the wind, looking down at HawkClan. He could see himself racing towards battle, his clan at his back and Shadowkit at his side.

And then it was stripped away from him, by none other than Adderfang.

So I am curious about why the clan ended up liking (or at least respecting) Blazestep more than Adderfang, at least that was what I understood since it seemed he was considered a better warrior by the clan. He does seem to have a lot of anger issues to work out, so with your explanation of his character it makes a bit more sense that his sister is deputy, but I feel like there is a disconnect between your personal discussion of the siblings personalities and how the clan perceives them. Maybe its just a case of unreliable narrator. Is Blazestep really sneaky, and hides his true anger problems and ambition? I suppose if he was clever enough as an apprentice, and didnt push himself too far he might have been able to pull the wool over his mentor’s eyes, but he would have to be very clever and careful not to injure or tire himself so much that it would affect the rest of his training.

Anyway, I hope I didnt sound too critical, but these characters are very interesting and compelling, interesting enough that I was quite invested in them! I hope to see how you decide to write them in the end!

So, yeah, these two are the main duo of HawkClan. Sorry for the long read, I got pretty carried away while writing.

#warrior cats #non-canon clans #warriors OC #warriorsworldbuilding #submission

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revol-lover · 4 years

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nope i do need to vent

the thing is like i guess i’m just upset and got triggered by something today because like i can accept i guess what happened to me. well i guess i dont know if accept is the right word but it happened. i cant go back and change a single thing. i know that.

but whenever i’m reminded that what happened wasn’t ok and wasn’t normal and was literally so rare and so abnormal it just makes me so fucking sad because i wind up in the mindset of what if it didn’t happen. what if things went right. the way they were supposed to. who would i be right now?

i get reminded of who i was before the trauma. i was in such a GOOD place. i was SO happy. i was FREE from a toxic environment that i had patiently waited for YEARS to get out of. it was finally happening. everything was falling into place and i was so happy with my life. and i was so freaking happy to be having my baby, finally. and a daughter too, which was surprising to me because my whole life i was convinced i’d have a son and that like, me getting a daughter would never happen (i wouldve been happy regardless i guess i just never genuinely imagined having a girl so it was a huge happy shock)

and then it all happened and everything came crashing down. starting with not being able to go into labor on my own. being 2 weeks late. being induced. labor forever (over 24hr). push for almost 3 hours. baby not doing well. low apgars. birth injury. immediate nicu transfer. not able to see her except for a quick minute before they sent her to another hospital and even then it was a glimpse, didnt get to hold her. going to bed that night in complete emptiness. complete fucking emptiness. why. why did it have to happen that way? being left alone the next morning so kevin could be with her (this was hard but i wanted one of us to be by her side.) having to suck it up and try my hardest to LOOK “ok” so that i could be discharged early and be able to go with her. have to suck up my pride and call my parents to drive me to the other hospital. mom comes. i get a call from kevin that babies having seizures. i cry. obviously. midwife (she was determined negligent so a lot of all of this is her fucking fault) told me that it was “normal” and “Happens sometimes” “but you pushed her out though!” i wanted to fucking slap her. it wasnt normal. and who cares if i pushed her out? if a c section would’ve prevented this i wouldve gladly done so for my child’s wellbeing the fuck.

midwife approves d/c. leaves room. i cry. because wtf is my life. wtf is going on with my baby. everything is a disaster. my mom slams her fist on the food tray and tells me “stop crying!!! youll get that post partum shit!!”

...

because that’s how it works

...

i could go on and on about how the day and day after my baby was born were the worst days of my life not the best. the worst. because i literally almost lost her. she could’ve died that night. she had to be in cooling therapy for 3 days so we couldn’t hold her until she was 4 days old. by that point we already got the talk about the future. about how they didnt know if she’d ever walk or talk or if she’d have behavioral or learning problems etc because of her brain injury .it was a fucking lot. not to mention at the same time i was so sick physically myself (couldnt keep food down. was trying to pump breast milk for her, but would vomit after every time. it was horrible and i stopped before we took her home) i definitely shouldnt have been d/c 12 hours after birth but i had to because i wasn’t going to be away from her for longer .but it just all was so terrifying and we had a hard time bonding initially because of all of this and it was truly such a horrible time. and then the denial from our family. telling us doctors could be wrong and “she looks fine”. people dont realize how hurtful and not help that is. you can be in denial all you want because it is not YOUR child. and no you cant “see” a brain injury.

and when there’s no reason to think of all this i can go a long time without thinking of it but then it happens

the triggers.

the pampers commercial. the perfect birth story. a photo of a newborn on their mother’s chest.

and all those emotions just come flooding back and it sucks. i grieve for what life could’ve been if this hadnt happened. i grieve the fact that my daughter didnt get to be held for those first 4 days. that her little body had to go through what it did. that she had to lay on a cold pad (it helps slow down the bodies response to injury, which can prevent further damage) for 3 days after being warm and safe inside me for her whole existence.i grieve because although my daughter is doing well, it still should not have happened. shes not out of the woods. kids w her diagnosis have seizures return during developmental points of childhood.i have no idea what school will be like for her -- and the thing is like its ok. i am capable of handling that when/if we get there but. it just sucks and none of it should’ve ever happened and i cant change anything. i know that. but sometimes i cant help but wonder what wouldve happened if things had gone right. would i have bonded better? would i not have had such a hard time adjusting to new mother hood? would i have had another child by now? would i have continued on that journey of feeling so happy and content with my life that i was on before all of this instead of just feeling kind of empty and jaded a literal 1/2 of the time? not with motherhood, necessarily, because after the first year i started to find myself as a mother more and thanks to the encouragement i got from her early intervention nurse, i really feel certain that i did well that first year especially. like we both (kevin and i) did our best for her and are partially responsible for her good outcome. but i mean with life. i feel so jaded half the time. because life is unfair. and i knew that but man. no. life can be REALLY fucking unfair and idk where i’m even going with this anymore. sometimes i can find the way to having a mindset again of, we aren’t in control and all that, i get it but, idk. certain things still shouldnt’ happen and sometimes i really wish i could go back to who i ws before all this, when i had a genuine sense of optimism, because i thought, i had been through some of the hardest days already, and that was naive of me to think, but i just could have never predicted what was coming. and i’m still grieving that.

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pinkbutterfly84 · 4 years

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Scorpion Season 2

Here we go season 2 and my personal favourite season.....

2.01 - there has been a break between episodes supposedly over the summer whilst Walter recuperate, Paige tries to improve the office, Cabe is working on a film, Sly tried to evolve, Tony was outdoors and Happy developed a paint gun

The question is have Happy and Toby been spending their time together they walk into the garage together??

No fratanisation at work...... but that doesn't mean out of work? Happy's look to Toby makes me think they see each other a lot out of work

Notice how each time they say no fratanisation 'at work' is always added

I love the way Toby's tone of voice changes when he is taling just to Happy or caring for her

Last scene they are off to Kavalskis together

Favourite quote- 'what do you see' 'a rare and delightful fungus' - this is a very Happy type compliment definitely there are still feelings there but she is still torn between wanting to move on with him and wanting to remain friends

Favourite scene- Toby taking care of Happy and her eye, his hand casually placed on her leg she once hated any form of contact now she didnt even flinch

2 02 - poor Toby obviously feeling the frustrations of being sidelined by Happy so he directs is attention onto poor Sly

The look Toby gives Happy when she said Orphanages suck a look of pure luck and he could help heal her wounds

First time Toby uses the nickname 'Hap' also the only person who calls her this

I love Dr Toby seeing him use his skills either medically or behavioral is when his character shines

Favourite quote- it's like jumping off a really high diving board going 100 miles an hour, exposure therapy

Favourite scene- not my favourite scene but definitely the cheesest was paige coming out the sea slow motion and Walter's face pure cheese

2.03 - this episode doesn't have much Quintis in it but I love Sly having an episode revolving around him he overcomes some fears and opens up to Megan

Ray is a very funny character 'the right way, the wrong way and the Ray way'

Poor Toby overhearing Happy's conversation thinking she is moving on meeting someone at a club he looks so hurt and Happy looks regretful that Toby overhead

How does Toby know Happy doesn't like to dance? Maybe suggested they go dancing together?? Happy's face when Toby actual fights back a bit at her half impressed half annoyed

Chet turning up at the end broke Toby's heart he needed to release some tension. Happy wanted him out of the garage so the team wouldn't know what they meet at the club to do

Favourite quote- Slyvester you and I are about to have a very uncomfortable conversation

Favourite scene- Toby talking g to Sly over the comms picking a fight in the jail yard

2.04 - Happy coming in with Chet either Happy is clueless on what effect this has on Toby or she is trying to make him jealous either way Happy is doing wrong this time

Starting to get some humour from Happy..... I wonder why!

I feel this is one of the first turning point episodes for Happy starting to acknowledge she doesn't need to be alone and there are people especially Toby who will stick with her and support her

Toby is so worried about Happy during this episode he even admits his love to her dad - good advice from him to let her come to him

Happy wants the list to go to Toby none of the others a subconscious decision that proves she relies on Toby

Happy acknowledges she is in denial!

The look she gives Toby over her dads shoulder what do you think she is thinking?

Favourite scene- Toby giving Happy the dolls house, he just wants to spend time with her even if friends

Favourite quote- I am surrounded by Robots!

2.05 - such a fun episode off set with the seriousness of Sly and Megan

Toby looks hot boxing 🔥🔥

Toby giving Happy a gift then saying there just friends - someone is in denial

Toby only worrying about Happy being in danger how does she not pick up on this?

Plus the minute she says she's stuck Toby is out the van to rescue her

Notice how they play dumb about knowing anything about Superfun guy yet in season 1 when Sly was in hospital they all sat and read the comics!

Toby saying no to hanging out with Happy must have been so hard for him but he obviously is feeling too much hurt not being with her but did she overhear him saying he was done with her, she wasn't far away, how would she have felt?

Question is the orange van the same as in the Cuba episode and the episode with Mya Hernandez??

Happy looks so impressed with Toby when he punches the guy, think she likes that he can be tough when needed

Favourite quote- with great responsibility comes great wedgie or dear diary it finally happened

Favourite scene- seeing the team dressed up nice to see the comedy side of the show

2.06 - part 1 of a double episode a really good episode showing Walter being taken advantage of and the guys all in danager

Toby trying the show his independence from Happy but taking it too far they work better together.

Toby looking fine in a suit!

Favourite quote- I kicked that habit cold Turkey, I need Happy like i need necrotizing fasciitis

Favourite scene- Happy creating a speaker and using it to put out a fire great mechanical engineering

2.07 Part 2 - Happy put her life in danger for the greater good in the sub but when Toby was in danger in the server room nothing else mattered but rescuing him

Toby will never know how much she fought to get him out

The look of pure fear and worry about Toby dying was excellent acting and showed such emotion and perhaps made her reevaluate her relationship with Toby

Happy was quite hostile towards Toby when he thanked her why was that? I think it was a defense mechanism he shield going up because she was scared to loose him

Favourite quote- with the clarity of one just risen from the dead, you're being a grade A tool

Except you cant unring a bell - Toby knows he cant easily get over his feekings

Favourite scene- Happy trying to get Toby out of the server room this first real sign that she really does have deep feelings for Toby

2.08 - Toby in the boxing ring he is trying to toughen up the ond thing Happy is known for iz being tough

Happy at the comedy club trying to be funny the one thing Toby is known for

I think there interests are a way to become closer to each other and understand each other

Mighty love oak - Toby finally realised if anything is going to happen he needs Happy to make the first move he has been as open as he can she needs to make the decision herself to get into a relationship with him

Favourite scene- Happy at the comedy club Slys reactions were so much funnier then the joles

favourite quote- this is nuttier then squirrel poop

Yes I know I drive crazy, just give me the keys

Suicidal genius says what now

2.09 - very sad to see the decline in Megan and what Sly is dealing with. How Walter deals with it is unfair to them both and quite selfish although I appreciate everyone handles these situations differently

Happy and Toby support Toby the only way they know bh giving him money.

Happy and Toby seem in sync in this episode just good friends with a deep connection

Toby is focusing his energy in predicting the future possibly to keep him distracted from Happy

In previous episode Toby has been seen with smart phones why all of a sudden is his phone old??

Favourite quote- dental hygiene is beautiful

Favourite scene- no real favourite scene but I do enjoy this episode the team hring scared of the unknown is hilarious

2.10 first time I watched this episode I was hooked and confused and loved the twist of Scorpion playing on Cromwell

Happy and Toby stood next to each other again mimicking each others postures

Walter finally accepting Megan's condition and her relationship with Sly is a heart warming moment and one of the few moments I like Walter

Favourite quote- are we heading to England for a spot of tea

Favourite scene- the team relaying how they duped Cromwell

2 11 - a really sad but beautiful episode with a touch of humour at the right times

Toby shines in this episode with his medical ability

Toby's face when Happy collapses and the lady is in labour his heart wants him to ho to Happy but he knows he must deliver a baby.

I would like to know what Happy thinks when she wakes and sees Toby?

Such a heart breaking scene 💔

Notice how Toby instinctively stays by Happy in the garage providing emotional support

Happy doesn't deal well with the situation so excuses herself to make the drinks

Favourite quote- i have super powers, I am bacteria man

Am I seriously the only doctor in the house

Favourite scene- the end scene with Megan's video and the team gathering to hear Walter's story a beautiful end to a touching storyline

2.12 - really liked this episode finally Happy giving into her feelings for Toby plus seeing them all dealing with their own issues from college gave some of the funniest moments of the season

Seeing cabe trying to talk wrestling was hilarious

She also admitted Toby was cute!

What Mavis said to Happy got her thinking she needs to let her shield down if she wants a Toby/ a family

Meeting Quincy Berkstead I don't think Toby's issue is him stealing Amy away it's a reminder of what a bad place he was back then and that Quincy was a better person than he seemed to be. Quincy said some things which hit close to home. Let's remember Toby is a doctor Quincy is just a psychologist!

Favourite quote- you were cute, what happened

Favourite scene- Happy and Toby dancing this showed real feelings from Happy she wanted to.do something nice for him when he obviously felt so down. I imagine that they all heard what Quincy said to Toby she she knows how it would of effected him

2.13 - quite possibly my favourite episode of the season maybe all 4 seasons

Happy seems uncharacteristically happy at the beginning embracing Christmas or looking forward to a possible future with Toby

Walter talking to himself, Megan's ashes in his car - Toby has his work cut out for him this episode

Sly talking about his love for Megan and not wasting time really gave Happy something to think about

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer! Supposedly some or all of this wasnt scripted just shows how amazing the actors are

The pure panic from Toby when Happy gets pulled under water shows his love and then change in his voice when talking to her is a beautiful moment

Favourite quote- at least we got a doctor in the house, who has 2 thumbs and rocked his GI rotation

'Quality kiss doc, good work' ' now that was a Christmas miracle

Favourite scene- the kiss! Need I say more you can even hear Happy hum during the kiss perfect chemistry

Toby waited so patiently and it paid off Happy came to him and initiated the next step

2.14 - perfect Quintis episode

Toby full of new year spirit wonder why??

Happy is also uncharacteristically Happy perhaps thet both had a good new year together.......

Happy trying to change be more positive maybe to help in a relationship with Toby, so much to surmise in this episode

The look happy gives Toby when he asks to make out is not a never gonna happen but a not now later look

Notice how when Happy is separated she repeatedly calls for Toby. Instinctively that's who she knows will rescue her

Toby is never seen as the brave one but when happy is in danger he is willing to risk his life

Near death has changed the dynamic between them. Happys dad points out she needs to find her Happy- then looks longingly at Toby

Question what everyone wants to know is what happens in the tent!

Favourite quote- who are you and what have you done with unhappy quinn

Favourite scene- Toby admitting he never thought he could die being so lucky with Happy in his arms

Such an honest and emotional scene excellent acting by #EddieKayeThomas

2.15 - poor Toby not feeling well love the thought of happy quickly scribbling down instructions for Ralph on how to look after Toby. Starting to show her feelings more openly

Paige and Walter singing was actually really good

Favourite quote- this is what I get for trying to help Walter date, influenza

Favourite scene- truth is I'm falling for the guy - finally Happy admits it then if only to Ralph - I do think Toby here her and probably calls her out on it later

2.16 - poor Walter trying to do something normal and it all goes to pot!

Toby and Happy going to Kavalskis under the pretense of taking the dish back..... sounds like a date to me that they dont want the others to know about, one of many over the course if the last few episodes I think

Favourite quote- that was a compliment knucklehead lob a little ear candy at her

You got sent to the senior section of speed dating and now your trying to Benjimen your Button

Holy ball boomerang Mericks back

I might only be a psychiatrist but they taught me at med school blowing people up is bad

Toby is on fire in this episode with his one liners - I wonder if all these jokes and sarcasm is because he is finally happy with Happy

Favourite scene- no favourite scene in this not much Quintis action but Toby was in fire in this episode great behaviourist skills and jokes

2 17 - love seeing the dynamic between Walter and Toby in this episode, seeing them in therapy is funny

Toby is definitely the more antagonist one is this episode he says its because he is happy with Happy I think he hates keeping secrets from his best friend and so he is distancing himself

Happy starting to side with Toby shows character growth

On a separate note I love Sly and Ralph's relationship in this episode they are a great duo

Favourite quote- hands at 10 and 2, check, seatbelt on, check, eyes firmly on the ramp in front of you, check, dont tell your mother, check

Favourite scene- the end scene Happy and Toby together at Toby's home confirmation the are together how long has this been going on is the question we all want to know

2.18 - Quintis is announced!

Walter being so upset is a bit strange surly he should be happy for his friends- maybe he's jealous he doesn't have what they have or maybe he is hiding something else........

Comparing to quintis to brangelina maybe not such a good comparison

Walter punishing Toby by making him stay behind is petty and not the first time he has tried

Toby is obviously very excited about his new relationship but suffocating Happy slightly

Walter giving them the ultimatum is uncalled for and Toby is not happy with him

First time we discover Happy's fear of blood, seeing Happy slightly off kilter and Toby supporting her is nice to see

Happy looks do happy when Toby says he is proud of her

Toby using his tone of voice he only uses with Happy, this is his caring soft voice

Oh Toby tracking Happys phone not a good idea I get why he did it and I think she does but not a wise move without talking it over first! I like how they experience normal bumps in the road in their relationship

Happy standing up to Walter was a big step and an important moment in showing she is all in and she looks so Happy when Walter says its ok

Favourite quote- for a million reasons the answer to that question is yes but believing in you the most incredible person I've ever know, no that does not make me crazy. You hear my voice now you hear how calm it is......

Favourite scene- Toby talking Happy through medical procedure

2.19 - Gambling addiction is a very sensitive topic which needs to be dealt with correctly

It is always alluded to Toby being addicted we are lead to believe over the past few years largely thanks to Happy it has gotten better but is obviously an issue for Happy

I dont buy that he gambles more cause he is happy but I'm no addication specialist

I think this shows real growth with Happy 1 year ago she would of just called it quits but now she raises her concerns which are genuine due to her childhood and Toby agrees to give up gambling for her - now that is true love

I feel Toby needed to hear this from Happy he had cut back a lot but the risk of losing Happy is too high and he knows he needs to stop

I think they really played into the gambling references this episode when usually it gets one or 2 mentions if that!

Favourite quote- 'that Pantera is the sexiest thing I've ever seen' 'second sexist'

Favourite scene- the end scene with Toby and Happy, Jadyn gives probably the best performance of the series so far so much emotion

2.20 - playful team is nice to see makes a pleasant change!

Toby shows his medical and behavioral knowledge off well In this episode

I really like that happy is comfortable in her relationship with Toby to show affection ftomt of the team by falling asleep and hugging her

Favourite quote- that guy doesn't respect the game

Well you make friends wherever we go

I know I'm the oh one wearing a hat, hold on to your hats I'm gonna profile the crap out of this guy

Favourite scene- the team waiting to see how Olivia gets on following her surgery

2.21 - so we meet interloper Tim, going to he controversial now but I quite like him.as a character!

Toby doing dares as a way dealing with giving up gambling - Happy should be supporting him not belittling him after all he gave it up for her

Toby compliments Happy and gets told off for doing it st work 1. He is allowed to shower her love and compliments at home 2. She turns her face and smiles secretly likes the compliment

Toby marking his territory with Happy when Tim talks to her its shows his jealous side

Happy chastise Toby for truth or dare he says he still needs to adrenaline rush so she kissee him and compares the adrenaline from the kiss to the gambling adrenaline. This shows how she must feel when she kisses him and is encouraging him to lean on her when he feels the need for the rush

I've also noticed that most kisses on screen she goes to him he also doesn't speak after the kiss until she does - shows he is learning from their first kiss

Favourite quote- 'just dance monkey', 'a 20 year old just called you monkey is life working out how you planned'

Favourite scene- happy kissing Toby on the piano

2.22 - this is a good episode considering it lacks in quintis moments - something which highlights the difficulties in gaining closure with missing military personnel

Oh no Toby lost his hat, I hope this isnt the one Happy bought him hopefully he keeps that safe at home!

Toby asking Happy if something were to happen to him would she move on, Happy saying no she wouldn't just shows her love for him.

Also theoretical marriage proposal and Toby asking Happy to think about it..... could a ring be on the cards although Happy's face is not convinced scares or hiding something

Favourite quote- dont use humour on a date because your not funny

Me and the hat are a package deal

Favourite scene- Toby asking Happy if he was missing would she move on

2.23 - not many quintis moments in this episode I start to look for the small moments in the background the looks std justices telling as the big scenes

Happy and Paige both outting Toby in his place when he makes a joke is funny

Funny how this time Happy doesn't have an issue with Toby crawling behind her in the tunnel

Toby has his arm around Happys shoulders swoon...

Happy puts her arm around Toby when they celebrate its these small things which show the couples development

Walter may diss Toby's skills but he does value and listen to them

Favourite quote- she is very much EQ for my IQ

Crazy man says what now

Favourite scene- Toby and Happy talking at the table playing cards - do I sense a proposal on it's way...... too soon surly they have only been together a few months???

2 24 - Toby Toby Toby winding up mark collins may prove to be a big mistake

Happy actually taking Toby's feelings into account doing a guessing game when Toby isn't around

Happy's jealous face when Toby said a show girl made him a man so sweet

Favourite quote- medically speaking hes nuttier then peanut brittle

I will always give you what you need whether it be emotional, spiritual or romantic so here it is sugar plum

Oh no Toby is in trouble what's going on......

Favourite scene- happy talking to Walter about Paige. This just shows the growth in her character willingly having a this conversation also picking up behavioural tips from Toby

2.25 - there is so much about this episode to write about from the kidnapping to the marriage proposal to the rejection.........

Happy comes in thinking the worst of Toby is he gambling lovd the fact she references the fact they text and meet outside of work - obviously they do but it's never referenced

The minute she hears Collins escapes she knows Toby is in danger and is worried

What is Sly hiding Happy knows he is and isn't Happy that Sly wont say anything

Seeing how worried Happy is, is a refreshing change from her normal closed off self. Her love for Toby really shows through in the episode

You can see Happy's frustrations Sly keeping a secret and Walter not giving up his researched

Happy's face when she thinks Toby is being electrocuted, she looks in pain telling Collins to stop the fear in her voice must be reassuring for Toby to know how much she loves him

Happy face when Collins outs the proposal, she blames herself for Toby getting snatched whilst picking up the phone, is there another feeling there aswell???

When Toby talks to Happy there is so much emotion in his voice saying goodbye, he uses that soft tone he saves just for Happy

Happy risking her life to save Toby shows her commitment to him

The first time I heard the proposal song I thought it was so cheesy but the more I watched the episode the more I realise it was perfectly Toby

Happy face when Toby is singing and proposing is the first sign of any guilt we have seen from her. She is obviously distraught that she has to say no and admit she is married to someone else. Utter heartbreaking scenes acted out superbly

Happy actually had tears in her eyes she must of been so devastated to have to had said no

Toby has never lost his ability to smile or joke but he looks completely heartbroken not only to have had his proposal turned down but to also find out the lovd of his life is already married. So much so he doesn't want to talk to anyone just hit the bottle.

Anyone notice how guilty Walter looks??

Favourite quote- hey is that hat wearing dipstick here

Its Toby Curtis, Doctor, Harvard trained. Were the smartest people in the world why is it so difficult to locate a 168lb wise ass

Favourite scene- there is no favourite scene I love this whole episode even Tody drowning his sorrows in tequila

Season overview - Sly has dealt with alot this season falling in love and then losing Megan he is now trying to look forward still keeping his love for Superfun Guy

Walter has had a few good moments this season mostly with Megan and he seems to deal well with kids. He is still obnoxious and struggles to communicate with people and says the wrong thing

I don't like the say Paige is going she is losing the qualities she was known for at the beginning kindness, compassion. I do like her relationship with Tim

Quintis- the start of the season started with them trying to get back to being friends and they had a few moments early on and then Happy merry Chet which made Toby jealous and he eventually realised that he needed to wait for Happy to come to him. A string of events finally broke down Happy's walls starting with her thinking Toby was going to die then Megan passed away, she met Mavis who encouraged her to lower her shield. Sly then told her to life in the moment and she finally kissed Toby from then things moved quickly secretly at first then in public before Toby gets kidnapped, proposes to Happy, gets rejected and finds out she's already married.

Questions are who is Happy married too?

Why didnt she tell Toby before? I think because she didnt want to ruin what they have and was scared to tell him and the more time passed the harder it got

How is Toby going to deal with this news?

Season 3 will certainly be interesting.......

#toby x happy #toby curtis #happy x toby #cbs scorpion #quintis #eddie kaye thomas #jadyn wong #happy quinn #team scorpion #scorpionedit

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panicked-nights · 4 years

Text

Be my husband, I’ll be your wife {SIREN}

Things get a little serious on New Year's Eve.

Triggers: None

@attina-the-responsible

PANIC Honestly Panic and Attima had more bad luck at town celebrations than they had good luck at them. That of course didn't stop them from dressing warm and heading out to see the acorn drop like it did every year. And just like every town celebration nothing stopped people from going out and seeing what there was to offer. It didnt stop Panic from tucking a small box into his jacket along with his phone either. Nor did it stop him from taking his girlfriend's hand and treating her to hot chocolate when they got closer to the stand. And it didnt stop him from kissing his girlfriend sweetly in front of everyone. "This year is the year everything changes. New year different bullshit and better bullshit?" Panic teased taking her hand back into his.

ATTINA: Attina loved New Year’s. Despite her rather pessimistic, anxious attitude, she was actually rather optimistic on the whole. And New Year’s was always a time to start fresh! That’s how Attina saw it. It was a time to leave the year before behind and look ahead. And there was plenty to look towards with excitement— Most prominently took the shape of Attina’s ever growing stomach, tucked up in layers tonight but still slightly visible if one looked closely enough (which was potentially on purpose.) She walked with a spring in her step, despite the unbalanced equilibrium, and smiled into the kiss when it was offered. "That sounds about right," she agreed with a little laugh, giving his hand a squeeze. "I am hoping for the better bullshit but you can never tell in this town. Any new year’s resolutions?"

PANIC One could only hope for better bullshit and it wasnt like Panic could whisk Tina away like some people did. He would if he could. Convince her to explore the world and see everything she may have once dreamed of. He wished she could. As it was. Where she was was his home. "I'm just hoping for better bullshit tonight to be honest. I'd like a nice calm acorn drop.... wow did that actually come out of my mouth." Panic pretended to shiver pulling Attona closer. "Oh no I'm becoming sentimental."

ATTINA: Attina laughed, stumbling into Panic’s side. "Oi, you’re going to make me drop my hot cocoa," she pouted at him, though she was still smiling and took a pointed little sip. "I don’t know if it is too sentimental to want things to go calmly. I always prefer that to the alternative." As she thought, briefly, of those alternatives, her free hand strayed down to the curve of her stomach, as it had been wont to do the past weeks.

PANIC Panic isn't even hesitate as he steadied Attina. Her balance was off and he knew that and well she was precious in general but considering she was pregnant Panic was a lot more cautious as well. "At least dont drop it on me. I quite like this jacket." Panic teased putting one hand in his pocket flipping his phone around in his hand. "I think its sentimental when it never mattered to me. Most people expect the demon to thrive in chaos."

ATTINA: Attina snorted and rolled her eyes a bit. Panic and his ~cool leather jackets. (Not that Attina didn’t like a good leather jacket, no no, they were very sexy.) "Well, most people think you-know-whats are monsters too, so—yay us! breaking stereotypes!" She rolled her eyes again, though this time not at Panic but at the world. It was the reason, in the end, it didn’t matter to her that Panic was a demon. Only in the confusing, technical, navigating a relationship with two people in one body kind of way did it matter. But otherwise: Panic was Panic. He’d showed her his heart and she trusted it.

PANIC Panic grinned at her snort. It was very silly he knew but it made him smile nonetheless. Even if she was muttering about their stereotypes. There wasnt much that could be done about that. Panic wasnt someone who wanted to change the world. Just live in it peacefully. "I'd say we could be monsters together. But I feel like that doesnt sound as romantic outloud as it does in my head."

ATTINA: Attina laughed at that, a proper out-loud kind of bark, gigglesnort-thing that had people looking at her from nearby. It wasn’t romantic, not really. A little over a year ago, she wouldn’t have laughed at all. She would not have found it very funny. But what were you supposed to do, when you lived in a world where you and the person you loved couldn’t reveal your identities for fear of swift and merciless persecution? "You’re starting to sound like Andrina," she warned him with a chuckle. "I think it could be romantic in its own way, I suppose." She tilted her head to the side as if thinking about it, but really she was just resting her head on Panic’s shoulder now. "Except I don’t think either of us are monsters. The world isn’t that black and white."

PANIC Well at least if he wasnt being romantic he was being funny. That was all worth it. The funny thing was while Tina might not have seen them as monsters. Panic had grown up thinking he was one. Even now he thought he was one. "Please never tell her that I dont think either one if us will survive knowing we sound like one another." Panic joked though he moved his attention to the acorn drop. "I'll have to up my romance game then."

ATTINA: Attina snorted a little, rolling her eyes for a third time. Of all her sisters, she was least concerned for any animosity that Andrina may harbor towards her boyfriend. And yes, she knew it existed. They were both very good at pretending it didn’t. Besides: Andrina knew Panic made Attina happy and that he was good to her. And, as far as Attina knew, Andy and Panic were on decent enough terms. It wasn’t like Attina’s past boyfriends, where everyone had commented on how terrible they were and predicted their inevitable doom. (To be fair: Paul has also escaped such venom.) But the thing was: Attina had always been aware her boyfriends were shitty. Being treated well was still a novelty to her and she did not take it for granted. Especially not now, when she knew she had to tread carefully and not demand too much of Panic, lest he collapse under more weight than she’d ever put on any of her previous boyfriends. It was partially this fear that made her hesitant to criticize Panic’s romance. Not that she would anyway—despite her hopeless romantic tendencies, Attjna didn’t demand much. She knew she was a basket case and also easy to please. A surprise bouquet of flowers would sate her romantic appetite for at least a month. And she did think Panic did a very good job, so it was only partially in interest of placating him that she disagreed. "I think your romance is just fine," Attina told him, snuggling against his arm. "Just give me a New Year’s kiss and I’ll be good until Valentine’s Day."

PANIC Oh Panic didn't like that. He assumed it was a joke, but that didn't mean that he liked it all that much. He would never let up on the romance. Not when they had their daughter on the way too. "I'll let you think that's all I'm doing and then surprise you with something else." Panic planned on a lot of surprises in the future. Attina deserved the world and while he didn't know if he could give it to her, he would try. "Do you have any resolutions for the new year?" Panic asked turning them to walk among all the New Years decorations.

ATTINA: Attina raised her eyebrows, but she wasn’t going to complain about her boyfriend insisting on being romantic. She wasn’t going to expect much romance—or try not to anyway—but she also wasn’t going to say no. "Alright, I suppose that’s acceptable," she teased him as they started walking. They strolled, Attina distracted by all the twinkling lights that had been up since before Christmas, until Panic spoke again. "Hmmm," she hummed. "Travel, maybe. Though, I suppose that’s not realistic with a baby in tow. But even just up to London might be nice, I haven’t traveled in so long. And—be a good mother, I think. I don’t know how to...quantify that but I want to try." She tried not to worry about being a mum too much, and she didn’t, not really, because she really had done it so much and knew she had a mothering nature, but it was already so different. "What about you?"

PANIC Panic hadnt really cared about twinkly lights before honestly his and Pain's apartment hadnt had a christmas tree the other yeara they were here either. But twinkly lights at Christmas that were still up at new years was perfect. And people disbursing to stay warm or get closer to the acorn drop just made the moment more perfect for them. "I want to be a good Father too." Panic started nodding at the very idea however they quantified it. At least they would be making a difference in her life. "We will have to try and make a trip out to Percy's family. They will want to see her as weird as that might be so there's some traveling." But things just for him. "I want to try learning a new skill. I'm not sure what yet but something I just do." Not connected to Pain or Percy.

ATTINA: It was weird, but at the same time, Attina kind of liked the idea of it. She was used to a big family. And she wanted her daughter to be surrounded by people. An extra set of grandparents never hurt anyone. So, she just smiled and nodded a little at that and his next resolution too. "Ooh, that’s a good one. Like what? If you want to learn an instrument my family has you covered." She didn’t mention she could teach him, because she very rarely ever talked about her own musical talent. "Or Mellie has you for artistry. If you want sports, Aqua. Lana could teach you photography. Andy can show you how to hack. We’re a regular Von Trapp family." A joke she made a lot. What? It was true!

PANIC That was a lot of options. Ones he hadnt even considered. Well I already started to learn BSL with Adella so that wouldnt count. Maybe something calm like drawing would be interesting. I dont even know what instrument would be fun to play and Idont want to be the typical man who only learns the guitar cause it looks cool." PANIC explained getting them finally to the perfect place where the lights dipped around a park bench. A lovely little halo of lights. "Do you wanna sit at all? We will be on our feet for the rest of the night at this rate. "

ATTINA: Attina could give him a whole list of options: piano maybe most suited to those dexterous chef fingers, but there was nothing wrong with a solid guitar. There was also more complicated choices like a sax or harp, but those were instruments you grew up with. Ones that you understood with the innate sense of a native language. "Uhm, hm—maybe. I’m not incapable of walking long distances yet, though." She said this even as she took a seat, pulling him down next to her. She kissed his cheek. "We can’t see the ball drop from over here, we’re going to miss it." Even though it was still a while off, Attina didn’t know the exact time, she’d been ~living in the moment. Another, more secret, resolution of hers.

PANIC No Tina of course wasn't incapable of walking distances yet but he wanted her sitting so he'd pretend if he needed to. Still he sat with her glancing around and once down at his phone careful to keep the box where it was. While he couldnt make sure everyone was where they needed to be he had the right time and he had to trust that everyone else would as well. "I think we've got a solid hour at the very least till we need to get closer. Do you wanna know another resolution of mine?"

ATTINA: Attina briefly glanced down at Panic’s phone as he pulled it out to check the time. He was right, they had plenty of time. Which was nice, both because the decorations were beautiful and also, okay, maybe her feet hurt a little. The dreaded swollen feet soon on the horizon. Attina had made a pact with herself not to complain about the maladies of pregnancy post-morning sickness finishing. Good Vibes Only. And, really, she didn’t much feel like complaining anyway. She thought it was pretty amazing, even if she would detest the stretch marks and ultimate damage. She was not immune to mermaid vanity. However, she wasn’t really thinking about that—or much at all—simply enjoying the quiet and the buzzing anticipation of the new year. At Panic’s question, Attina tilted her head a little, for the first time sensing something might be up. "Of course," she told him, curiosity glinting in her eyes. "What is it?"

PANIC Honestly Panic had this ring for a few months now. Had glanced around even sooner than that. Just in case something perfect came up. It wasnt hard to get Attina's ring size. Not when she had 6 sisters and he knew all of them. So he was prepared. He just wanted to make it special and it felt pretty special having it done just before new years with Lana ready to take pictures and the most if not all her sisters hovering somewhere in the general vicinity. He had done all that he could to make sure it was as special given the current situation. So with her question Panic twisted around so he was kneeling on one knee infront of her and finishing out the box from his jacket pocket opening it to a simple gold band with green and white gems. "I was hoping I could be a good fiance as well. I know we've done a lot of things backwards but Attina I've known you're the one for me since the moment we met and we were fake married for a week. I know I would have proposed to you given the chance and I know I want you in my life for however long that might be. I love you with all my heart and everything that I am. Will you marry me?"

ATTINA: For someone who had imagined this moment her whole life, when it finally came, she was a little slow on the uptake. In her defense: she was expecting a resolution, not a proposal! The reality dawned on her a little late and for the first few seconds, she only stared at Panic, then dropped her gaze down to the ring, which twinkled prettily in the festive lights. When her gaze flicked back up, her eyes were shimmering with tears and she covered her mouth with a hand. The words Panic spoke were somehow perfect—leaving not an ounce of doubt in Attina. Not in that moment. Her insecurities had slipped away like a school of fish, spooked by the surety of Panic’s love. She smiled and then nodded—and then, forgot to say anything. "Oh! Right! Yes! Yes, definitely yes!" she told him, her legs bouncing slightly with excitement before she leaned forward to throw her arms around his neck, almost knocking them both off balance.

PANIC Panic had learned a lot of things about his girlfriend in the months they dated. Broke up and dates again. He knew the quirks and he knew sometimes how her mind worked. He knew that she would say yes. Even as the seconds slipped by waiting for things to process in her mind. ( of course he knew she would say yes he wouldn't have mentioned it to her family if he wasnt) He was quick to wrap his arms around her when she hugged him. Now that was the reaction he was expecting. Or well he was expecting to be knocked on the ground by her. "Well let me put this ring on your finger then so the whole world knows you've said yes."

ATTINA: For the record: under other circumstances, Attina definitely would’ve knocked Panic to the ground, but she couldn’t exactly do that at this angle from sitting on the bench—she was already smooshing her stomach enough just leaning over to hug him. Not that it was painful or anything, the angle was just wrong for a full on tackle-hug. However, she liked to think she squeezed him tight enough to make up for it. So intent on the hugging was she that Attina had forgotten about the ring, honestly. Which was part pregnancy-brain and part oh-my-neptune-I’m-engaged!-brain. But Panic was right, it wasn’t official until she got the ring on her finger. As soon as he mentioned it, she popped back and smiled wide, tears now bubbling over the lids of her eyes. She’d like to blame this on hormones too, but absolutely no one would believe her. She wiggled her fingers at him until he slipped the ring on and she held it up to admire it in the light. Attina loved her jewelry, she wore plenty of it: rings and bracelets and necklaces and earrings. Jewelry was a large part of mermaid culture and engagement and wedding rings were actually something the human world and mermaids shared. (Though both sexes wore them and on a different finger.) She’d never worn something on her left ring finger, though, leaving it for that special piece of jewelry. It felt a little funny on her finger but she just twisted her hand about in the light, admiring it. “Ooooh, it’s perfect!” she declared and then leaned over to kiss him, her left hand coming up to cup his jaw as she did so.

PANIC Panic loved the blubbering tears in Attina's eyes. She was emotional and he was her rock. But that didnt stop his eyes over with tears as he smiled at her. Admiring the ring on her finger before taking her face in his hands so even if she hadnt brought him in for a kiss he would have kissed her. "Fair warning your sisters are around here so play nice." Panic whispered when they separated glancing around for them briefly before returning his gaze to his fiancee.

ATTINA: The kiss was sweet and good. Full of promises and resolutions and the future. All things good. Even the quirk in all her furious planning (now she had to add a wedding to buying a house and baby stuff!!) wasn’t a problem. Not at all. If anything—it made her excited. She could easily make room for being a wife. For having a husband. When the kiss broke, she was still smiling and crying and giggled a bit as she caught sight of the tears glistening in Panic’s own eyes. She scrunched her nose playfully at him, her smile getting even wider. Her sisters were here?! "They knew?! Those bitches,” she hissed, but didn’t mean it at all. She leaned in and kissed Panic again. “Oh!” The kiss broke. “Are there pictures?!" She gave a delighted squeal and popped up off the bench, dragging Panic with her. “C’mon! We’ve got to go look! Oh! And tell Daddy! And tell Alex and Piper and Simba and Nala and Ella and—post on Instagram!" she said all in one breath.

#attina the responsible #otp: i know #otp: I will #otp: apple of my eye

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