#pretty good! I definitely don’t remember details from the first book and lost track of some of the side characters

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Midnight Kingdom

book 2 in a high fantasy trilogy based around a city at the nexus of multiple realms, following the heirs to four noble houses

the heirs are scattered across the realms, trying to survive, keep their city together, and find a way to defeat the gods

necromancy, fire magic, magic controlled by music & dance, shadow familiars and god possession

bi, lesbian, demi, ace MCs

[digital-corruption]

I finally finished editing! 😩

Pieces of You Part 18

“Hello, George! How can I help you?” I cheerfully greeted the older gentleman approaching the counter.

The man eyed me suspiciously, “You're new.”

“New!? MC's been here, what, almost two years already, George!” Mrs. Sully interrupted from the other side of the store.

“Is that so?” George squinted. “How come I don't recognise you?”

“Because you're 79 years old, George! Everyone looks new to you!” Mrs. Sully teased and walked over. “Though I must say, all you seem to do, MC, is work and go home to that cabin of yours in the east woods. You really need to get out more!”

I bit my tongue. Mrs. Sully’s attention to detail was unflappable. She was definitely the nosy neighbour that would track your ever movement. Except rather than just tracking the neighbours on her street, she made a habit of keep track of everyone in the town. I could see why Cleo thought to question her when Hannah was missing.

“What cabin in the east woods?” George questioned.

“You know the one, George. The old hunter cabin. I can't imagine what compelled you to buy that ghastly thing, MC!” Mrs. Sully shook her head in disgust.

“I think it’s quaint!” Jessy chimed in as she emerged from the back room.

“Quaint!?” Mrs. Sully sneered. “Jessy, my dear, you have such strange tastes. That thing is anything but quaint! It's a wonder how it has survived all these winters!”

“It's a challenge, but I like it,” I smiled.

“But you know of the Duskwood legends, don't you?” George wiggled his fingers playfully. “Are you sure you want to be out there with them?”

I shrugged, “I faced scarier and lived.”

Jessy muffled a laugh, “I'm pretty sure the Duskwood legends are more frightened of her.”

“Well you ought to find yourself a man soon. A woman should not be living out there alone!” Mrs. Sully said matter-of-factly. “As it so happens, my nephew in Colville, he’s an accountant. He could use a good, reliable wife. He’s not a looker, but earns good money.”

“I think MC is good, Mrs. Sully,” Jessy assured her.

“Just think about it, MC,” Mrs. Sully continued. “You don’t want to be working this job forever, do you?”

“Hey! What’s wrong with working here?” Jessy asked pretending to be playful, but I could tell she was offended.

“It doesn’t really have much room for career development does it?” Mrs. Sully explained.

“I don’t know, I quite like it here,” I shrugged and glanced over to Jessy. “For once I actually like my boss.”

“Aww, MC!” Jessy gasped. “Stop, you’re making me blush!”

“Well, just remember, you’re not getting any younger,” Mrs. Sully waved her hand as she turned to walk out. “You'll want to have kids soon!”

Jessy gave me a sympathetic look, then turned her attention back to our other customer, “So sorry, George! We still haven't received that book you asked for.”

“Still? Well I thought I'd check anyway.” George tipped his hat to us as he opened the door to leave as well “Good evening, ladies.”

“See you next week, George!” Jessy called out.

“Hey, it’s pretty quiet tonight. Why don’t you go home early? I’ll handle closing,” I offered.

“No way!” Jessy objected. “You've handled closing on your own enough times this month! Let me take care of it. You go have a relaxing evening!”

“Jess...” I began.

“Nuh-uh, remember, I'm your boss, so what I say goes!” she stuck her tongue out at me.

I laughed, “Such a professional one at that!”

“Go, go! Get out of here!” she ushered me away from the counter. “I order you to a night of wine and a good book!”

“Yes, ma'am!” I nodded as I grabbed my purse. “See you tomorrow!”

“Good night, MC!” Jessy waved.

I walked out of Jessy's bookshop onto the streets of Duskwood and took a deep breath of the crisp, winter air. It was already quiet for a weekday evening. I sauntered over to my car and began the lengthy drive home.

Over a year and a half had passed since the night I lost everything. The first few months was hard as I didn’t have much savings left after the search for Jake. Jessy was so generous as to let me stay at her apartment while I rebuilt myself. Unexpectedly though my lawyer managed to score me a sizable settlement check from the city for the debacle that was my arrest.

“Congratulations, the nightmare is almost over!” my lawyer cheered me over the phone.

No, it wasn’t over. If anything, the settlement was a painful reminder of how I had even less of Jake. With each passing day, it was getting harder and harder to remember his face. I wish I had something, anything to hold onto, to remember him by, but it was as if he was never even in my life, as if I had made him up. And that is why I never left Duskwood. It was the only connection I had left to Jake. The only place I could see evidence of his existence. The only thing that couldn’t be taken from me. If you told me that one day I'd be living in the town that the Man Without a Face terrorised, I'd called you crazy. Why on earth would I want to remember that horror? But now I wouldn’t consider living anywhere else.

When the cabin came up for sale, I jumped on it immediately. Finally I could put the settlement money to decent use as the cabin was perfect. There was just one road in and out of the forest, and yet it was connected with all of the essential services. Sure it was a fixer upper, which is how I spent my spare time, but it had the right kind of seclusion I needed. Occasionally I'd host renovation parties and my friends would come over to help out, however most of the time it was just me, myself and I in these woods of mine. Still, every night I went to sleep hoping that they would give Jake the cover he needed to get back to me. Selfish, I know, especially when I had no idea if he was still even alive or free.

Some days though hope was the only thing that kept me going. The world proved how cruel and unjust it was. I had little desire to play its game so I put in just enough to make sure I had a warm home waiting for Jake. If that meant I'd turn into the town's crazy, old hag who lived deep in the woods alone, so be it. I wondered if one day my home would become the new dare house. To be honest, the idea humoured me. Maybe I wouldn’t fix the creak in the front door after all.

Driving up to my house with only the light of the moon to guide me, I let out a sigh of relief. Most would be frightened of the dark, eerie cabin in the forest, but the sight of my home calmed me. As I entered my house, I was greeted by the haphazardly placed renovation supplies, which I cursed to myself for not having tidied them up before I left. I had to navigate carefully around them as my hand fumbled for the light switch. The light above me flickered on, causing me to squint. I made another mental note to call the electrician to have the wiring checked.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps upstairs echoed through the house. My heart skipped a beat. More footsteps. I looked around and spotted my hammer sitting on top of one of the paint cans. Quickly I grabbed it, then walked hesitantly up the stairs. It was quiet, but I could hear someone moving around. As I reached the top, I realised the sound was coming from further up in the attic. I gulped and headed for the pull-down stairs, which were already down. My heart raced. I contemplated calling the police, but my intuition told me to check it out first. Instead, I slowly made my way up the attic stairs.

“I’ll have you know, whoever you are, that I am armed and dangerous!” I shouted. “Just ask the Man Without a Face! He knows what happens when you cross me!”

At the top of the stairs I could see that the attic window was open and the curtains were blowing in the faint moonlight. I slowly inched towards the window. As if on cue, a figure swung down from the roof through the window.

“Ask the Man Without a Face what?” the figure questioned as he landed.

“JAKE!?” I gasped. “What the... I nearly pummelled you!” I tossed the hammer aside.

“Oh, sorry,” he said nonchalantly. “It is very hard to contact you when you have such terrible internet.”

“You mean no internet. I have no internet,” I clarified.

“Hmm, well I fixed it for you,” he boasted.

“What do you mean you fixed it?” I asked concerned. “I was not connected on purpose!”

“You wanted to be disconnected?” he questioned.

“Yes,” I reiterated. “What did you do?”

“Um, I just finished installing an encrypted satellite on your roof. You have the fastest connection in Duskwood now, when the weather allows it,” he explained. “Why would you want to be disconnected?”

I rubbed my forehead and sighed, “This is meant to be an Internet free haven for you.”

“More like hell. MC, you know I can’t live anywhere without Internet,” he said uncomfortably.

“Live?” I asked hesitantly. “Was that a slip of the tongue or...”

“Well, if you will allow me to. I don’t have anywhere else to go so I am hoping you have not changed your mind,” he said nervously.

“No, I have not,” I smiled. “I... I am just in shock I think. You left so suddenly and so much happened and...”

Jake moved forward cautiously to take my hands in his, “I am SO sorry, MC. For everything!”

“And nothing... not a single word or sign or piece of you remained... I had nothing,” I let out. Tears started to escape my eyes.

“I know, I am sorry!” he pulled me into his arms and buried his face into my shoulder. “I had to break all contact. I needed them to believe that I used you, that you meant nothing to me, so they would leave you alone. I didn't want them to make your life hell just because you took me into your home.”

“It is hard, Jake, trying to cling onto hope when you only have memories,” my voice shook. “I fought so hard against the negative thoughts. They kept telling me you would never come back. I was so afraid, Jake. I was so afraid I'd never see you again!”

Jake pulled back and cupped my face in his hands, “Hey, look at me. I'm here. I came back. And look at you! You moved out here, bought yourself a nice home, and waited for me.” His voice began to shake as well. “You waited for me when all reason said you shouldn't. You waited for me, MC.”

I reached up and put my hand on his cheek. It was wet with his tears. Pushing up onto my toes, I kissed Jake gently on the lips. “Because I love you, dummy.”

Jake’s hands moved to the back of head as he leant down and kissed me back more fiercely. “You're the dummy,” he laughed.

“Nuh-uh, I don't go onto other people's roofs and install satellites they never asked for,” I teased. “Especially when they're trying to stay untraceable!”

“It’s encrypted! No one will trace my internet presence back to here,” he insisted. “Anyway, it's been sorted.”

“It has!?” I pushed away to get a good look at him. “For real life?”

“Um, yes, for real,” Jake looked uncomfortable with the sudden interrogation.

“Why didn't you lead with that!?” I smacked his arm.

“Installing the satellite was a pain! I had to keep adjusting it to get a good signal,” Jake whined. “And then when I thought you would be happy that I fixed your internet problems, you weren't!”

“Jake, you have a lot to learn about women,” I teased him.

“Apparently so!” Jake was interrupted by the sound of my door bell ringing.

“What the? Who the hell is that?” I questioned out of concern.

“Oh, that’d be the Chinese food I ordered,” Jake beamed as he led the way back down stairs. “I didn't know what you wanted so I ordered based on your history. I hope you don't mind.”

“Yeah sure,” I giggled as I followed him. “I mean my boyfriend is a hacker, I have to expect such things.”

“And, also I used your credit card details because I don't have one,” he glanced back at me innocently.

I shook my head, “Is anything sacred?”

“Do you know how hard it is for me to not dig deeper?” he asked seriously as he headed down to the ground floor. “It takes all of my self-control!”

Jake opened the front door and took two big bags of food off the delivery driver. He shut the door and turned towards me.

“Let’s eat!” he grinned.

“How much food did you order!?” I exclaimed at the size of the bags.

“I couldn’t determine any specific favourite dish from your wide range of orders so I ordered them all,” he explained casually.

“All of them?” I questioned.

“Well, just the dishes that you ordered with enough frequency to suggest a preference over those you only ordered on one or two occasions. It took me a long time to sift through your history,” he emphasized. “You've ordered takeaway a lot since you moved out of your childhood home.”

“Some nights I just can't be bothered,” I shook my head. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen. Oh, you know where that is? I haven’t shown you around yet!”

“It’s ok. I took the liberty of showing myself around earlier,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Jake?” I paused.

“Yes?” he looked at me concerned.

“Welcome home!” I beamed.

Jake’s eyes widened, then he grinned, “Thank you!”

Pieces of You - Fin

A/N: Thank you for your support and patience over the many months it took me to write this! 😘 Your likes and comments keep me going!!

[juliewatt]

When did she ever get to say no (FATWS)

The apartment was dimly lit as she woke up from her nightmare, her past still haunting her even though it had been years ago, she still remembered it as if it was yesterday.

Her body shook from the previous event and sweat covered her body, the bodies, the blood it all still stood clear in her mind as she tried to take steady breaths to calm herself down. Once her body stopped shaking she stood up from the hard floor she called a bed, she didn’t remember having anything that was softer than the floor, she had tried a bed but after an hour she had laid down on the floor finding it more comfortable than the way too soft bed.

She walked to the shower to get the sweat off her and to collect herself more, a shower usually helped calm her body and mind after the nightmares.

After she was done she walked in her living room that was connected to the kitchen, it was a small apartment that had all the necessary stuff she needed, not too big but not too small either.

The city outside her window was alive and the sound of cars driving and people buzzing around put her on edge, she was used to silence, grey monotone walls and only being talked to whenever she was getting an order or in special occasions asked a question.

This world was new to her, she had been out for years but she still feeled uneasy navigating around in the outside world, so she for the most part stayed inside her little apartment watching the news on her television to see what happened outside without actually being there.

The knock on her door made her jump slightly but she quickly composed herself and walked slowly over to her door grabbing a knife on the kitchen counter in case she needed it. She could properly do the same damage without the knife but liked to have it with her for an extra precaution.

There was another knock on her door while she neared it and a voice from the other side “Y/n i-we need your help can you open the door?” She furrowed her eyebrows, the voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t pinpoint it and she didn’t really know or talked to anyone so she was confused to say the least.

She got to the door and peeked through the loophole in the door to get a look of who was outside the door, she stumbled away from the door when she saw who was outside it, it was a face she would recognise anywhere even after all these years and even with the haircut he had gotten. When she had stumbled back she must have made some sort of noise cause the voice outside spoke again “Y/n you alright? Can you open the door?” But she barely heard it, fear cruising through her, she backed farther away from the door she was promised safety when she got free and yet here he was standing in front of her door the man that had dragged back the last time she tried to escape, the winter soldier. Was he here to take her back? No it couldn’t, he never returned from that mission years ago she remembered that clearly, she had heard the guards talk about how they had lost him.

She got back to her senses and grabbed her knife tightly in her hand, took a deep breath and silently walked over to the door, unlocked it and stood back in the shadows, she knew she had no chance of overpowering him he was too strong so she would need to surprise him if she wanted any chance of success.

“I’m going to open the door alright? I just wanna talk” He said while turning the doorknob, she didn’t believe him, how could she the last time he had dragged her back, but she remained silent.

When he had walked in and closed the door behind him, she attacked but he was faster than her and dodged the knife that came for his head, he dodged each attack from her trying to get a hold of her without hurting her or himself in the proces.

She tried her best but in the end he ended up having her in a chokehold against his chest, the knife thrown away she tried to get free but little did it help, he was stronger than her like he always had been. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes and I'm no longer the winter soldier, so please stop. I'm not here to hurt you i just wanna talk” He said while she still tried to get free not believing him. “Lies all they do is lie” she said while she gave him an elbow in the stomach making him release her, she quickly grabbed her knife while he still was doubled over, when he stood again she pointed the knife at his throat glaring at him. For the first time Bucky got a good look at her, she had gotten older since he last had seen, of course she would look older. She had been around 16 when he last had seen her, a child who now had grown to look more like a young woman. “What do you want?” She asked, fear was lingering in her eyes, the knife slightly trembling in her hands she tried her hardest not to but the man in front of her made it hard not to. “I want your help” He started off slowly eyeing her every movement, he could easily overpower her, but he didn’t want to scare her more than he already had done. “I need your help with tracking a few people down, they have created the super soldier serum and i want to stop them, you’re one of the only ones i know that might want to help” He said, she stood staring at him not quite understanding it, he wanted her help?

She slowly lowered the knife and he took a deep breath. Maybe she would actually help him and Sam, he hoped for it but knew that there still might be a long way before she actually said yes to go with them.

“I don’t understand?” She said quietly, still confused with everything, “ you, me and a friend of mine Sam are going to find the people that made the super soldier serum, before it ends up in the wrong hands.” Bucky explained, she knew what he meant by the wrong hands, she had seen the other winter soldiers when they were created and got uncontrollable, no she definitely didn’t want that to happen again. “What do you need my help with?” She asked, still watching him and his every move, in case he should turn against her and try to attack her. “I know you’re a great fighter, we could use that. And you’re probably sick of spending all this time in your apartment.” He was right she was, but what else could she do? She didn’t know anything or anyone outside her apartment, her own mind didn’t allow her to, what if it was them trying to capture her again? She couldn’t risk that not now, not when she was finally free but if she was with James and his so called friend Sam they could protect her right? Make sure she was kept hidden and not thrown back into a cell again.

She relaxed a bit in her body and gave James a small nod, “alright James, where are we going?”

James’s friend Sam was a funny guy, he had seemed a bit distant at first and asked her a bunch of questions, but now he seemed more relaxed and trusted her a bit more than before, it made her relax a bit more towards the stranger.

She currently sat on the backseat of a car as they drove through a city in Germany, on their way to a prison where they were going to talk to a guy called Zemo. She didn’t ask many questions as they drove, she had learned the hard way in her life not to ask questions. “Wait kid, how old are you?” Asked Sam from the driver seat looking at her through the rear mirror, she took a moment to answer she needed to think she had been in cryo a few times, so her actual age didn’t add up with her appearance.

“I think i'm around 22 but i’m not quite sure” she said not quite sure with her answer, Sam took a double take at her in the mirror, “you don’t look like a 22 year old?” he said questionly “I have been on ice a couple of times.” She said quietly, not wanting to talk about her past, Sam got the hint and gave her a nod and a reassuring smile, she returned to look out her window for the rest of the trip.

She found her walking along the two other men in a garage of some sort, she walked behind them not paying much attention to their conversation, but when she suddenly heard shuffling from the other side of the room it immediately grabbed her attention.

A man walked out wearing a guard uniform, “What did you do!?” Sam's voice rang out glaring at James, “we need him!” He stated, Sam ignored him and turned his attention back to the stranger, “you’re going back to prison” “if i may-” The stranger was cut off from both of the other men “No!” She didn’t know who the man was so she couldn’t voice an opinion if she had one, but since it was pretty clear that the two other men didn’t like the stranger she decided she was going to be careful around him.

After everyone had calmed down a bit the stranger began to walk through the garage and explain the plan, not much into detail just what they needed to know for now.

Walking on to the private plane, she felt a bit more uneasy than she had before she had no idea where they were going with this stranger that apparently had a lot of money. She sat beside James across from the stranger where she watched his every move, not wanting anything to come as a surprise for her if went to pull any trick on them. The stranger talked briefly with his butler in a language she didn’t understand, she did notice a strange notebook lying within his other book that he had brought, she flinched when James launched at him, grabbing his throat. Memories came crashing within her and her heartbeat quicked up faster than she liked, flashes of her own hands on people's throats while they begged for mercy ran across her eyes, she closed them and shook her head a few times making them disappear.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam said from his seat, she furrowed her eyebrows, who was Steve and why did James have his notebook? Sam and the stranger began to talk about how cool Marvin Gaye was, while James claimed he was more into 40’s music. The stranger began to talk more about the Steve guy and someone named Redskull, she didn’t know who it was so she zoned a bit out of the conversation.

“I’m sorry i don’t think i introduced myself. I’m Baron Zemo” The stranger said making eye contact with her, having a mischief glint in his eyes she nodded at him “y/n” she said plainly not wanting to give out information to the man in front of her. “Ahh Y/n or Plan B as you’re called in your files. I've read about you and your time with hydra, a shame you weren’t with the other soldiers in Siberia when I killed them. “ He said, her blood ran cold with the name of the organization that had held her captured and messed up her mind this much. “ I am not like them” she said, fixing her gaze on him, “are you sure about that? With all the lives you have taken, what makes you more different than them?” He pressed clearly wanting a reaction from her, wanting to see if she was as cruel and cold blooded as described in her files.

She merely glared at him “I’m nothing like them, they liked what they did and did it with freewill and no hesitation. I didn’t, when I got old enough to see what they were doing was wrong, I tried to escape several times but I always got brought back. Each time I got beat up more than the last time, whipped so I wouldn't fight them, programmed my mind so they could control me, so that I wouldn't escape all the time. I tried to get out, I really did, the last time I tried they sent him after me” She said nodding her head to James, continuing to tell her story. “I fought with everything i had learned but he was stronger than me, he dragged me back there, i guess they got tired of me escaping all the time, so they programmed my mind like i had seen they did to him, then put me on ice so they were sure i didn’t tried to run again. It was only when he didn’t get back from a mission i got brought back out again, they made sure they whipped me regularly so i didn’t get a change to return to myself again” She told all three men as they stared at her, Sam and James had sad looking expressions, while Zemo had a glint of fazination on his. “I’m sorry to hear about that. But I can’t help but wonder if your trigger words are the same as his?” Zemo asked and gestured to James beside her, she squinted her eyes at the man in front of her. “I don’t know” she said slowly while looking down thinking, trying to recall anything that might help her, a little smirk made a way onto Zemo’s lips and before anyone had a chance of stopping him the russian word came flowing “Желание” Longing. Her eyes snapped up at him in an instant, her mind betraying her in an instant, it was as if black dots started to fill her mind. But with only one of the words spoken they only covered parts of her mind, she remembered the feeling immediately, her heartbeat quickened up, fear of losing control of herself came crashing upon her. “Shut up” She spat at the man in front of her already halfway lashing herself out of her seat towards him, but James was quick and grabbed her before she had made her way over the table to do what she wanted to do to Zemo.

“Stop that right now! Do you think this is funny?!” James pointed at Zemo, anger radiating off him, the baron merely smiled “ I wanted to test a theory, it seemed like I was correct.” He brushed it off, seeming unbothered by the glaring and heavy breathing girl sitting in front him, he only told where they would be going and what the plan was, but she didn’t hear much of it too distracted in her own mind doing her best to shake away the uncomfortable feeling in her head. She snapped back when she heard her name being said “you James and Y/n will have to become someone you claim as gone.” She knew what that meant she didn’t like it, not after what just had happened, but she couldn’t back out now, she heard James taking a deep breath beside her he clearly didn’t like either.

They were used to doing things they didn’t like to do, only this time they could say no, but when did they ever get to say no.

There will most likely be a part 2

- Julie

[illyria-12]

AOT Headcanons

I’ve been thinking of posting some of my headcanons and other shit here a bit more. I’m much more active on other platforms, but figured, why not? 

So have something I threw together at... I dunno, maybe 3am Monday morning? :)

Warnings: None that I am aware of.

Includes: Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hanji Zoe, Reiner Braun (At present, maybe more added at a later date.) 

AOT Characters as Study Buddies:

Eren Jaeger:·        

Do not expect this boy to remember that he agreed to study with you. He could have agreed to study with you just a few hours ago, and would forget. He needs regular reminders.         

Remind him a couple of days before, the day before, on the day, during lunch and definitely make sure you text him after school.          

Is always late.         

He starts off really focused. Pulls out his books and notes and is eager to help.     

But he also gets very easily distracted. 

Will often check his phone. It’s a really bad habit he can’t seem to control. Whether it’s just checking the time or clearing notifications, expect his phone to be in his hand at least 60% of the time. Clearing notifications often leads to him scrolling through social media, sending snaps or replying to texts too.   

Will always involve you, telling you why he is laughing, showing the funny video or meme he has found or explaining a conversation he is having.

It’s entertaining, but not exactly the reason you are here...        

He doesn’t have a preference of where he studies, he is pretty content anywhere, but if you go to his place, he will frequently bring in snacks or order pizza. Also is much more easily distracted when at home.         

His attention span isn’t great, and although he loves the idea of being helpful and studying with you, he gets bored quickly.         

Can also get confused with his own notes.       

Will often try and get you to call an end to the study session rather than do it himself. It makes him feel accomplished that way; like he has done his job and you are the one who has had enough.Will often groan things like: 

“Are we done yet?”        

“My head/back/wrist/eyes hurt.”         

 Occasionally he will suggest ‘taking a break’, but once that has been agreed to, it is pretty much the end of studying for the rest of the night.

Likes to try and make studying as fun as possible. Bright colours, highlighting, bubble diagrams, sticky notes. You best believe his version of pop quiz is to write random answers on a sticky note and stick it to your forehead and then get you to ask questions until you get the answer right. 

Will definitely reward you with a kiss when you finally get it right.

Sometimes leaves sticky notes in your book of ‘motivational quotes' to make you smile when you eventually come across them.

Armin Arlert:-       

By far, the most committed study buddy you could have hoped for.

You have weekly study sessions at the library every Friday after school. 

Armin is always there before you, fully prepared; books laid out neatly on the table. Sometimes he even starts his homework while waiting for you. 

Is very much a fan of making a little itinerary of things you are going to work through on the day.         

Doesn’t mind odd conversation but is an expert at getting you back on the subject at hand. He can often even relate whatever you’ve said back to the topic... although sometimes it doesn’t make sense. But it’s still funny and endearing. 

“You know who else thought Mrs Bratton was a bitch? William Shakespeare.”         

Is incredibly patient.         

Is a great supporter, always encouraging you and praising you when you get things right.         

Would never admit it but he finds it cute when you just can’t wrap your head around something and then out of nowhere, the penny drops.

The faces you pull entertain him. Either when realization finally dawns on you or if you’re thinking very hard.       

“Hey, don’t worry, you got this... let’s just go through it again.” “That’s it! See? Told you you’d get there.”          

Will always make sure he brings you something to drink and snack on during session. Usually a sandwich, crisps or some chocolate to give you a bit of a boost.          

Doesn’t push you too hard, if you say you have had enough, he will generally leave it there, or try to convince you to do just a bit more, but never in a demanding sort of way.         

“Okay, shall we finish this page first?”     

“One more section? Promise.”         

Armin's biggest downside? He is so soft on you.         

Very often gives you the answers as opposed to forcing you to figure it out. 

Absolutely can not be stern. If you are feeling playful, or really not in the mood and start teasing him,he is quick to admit defeat rather than stand his ground and force you to get through the work.         

Absolutely will do 99% of the work on group projects but share the credit with you.

Levi Ackerman:·         

Will make it seem like he doesn’t want to study with you, but will ultimately agree. 

“Why don’t you ask ...... instead? Tch. Fine.”

At first he will always read what it is you have to do, and then proceed to tell you what you have to do, but not necessarily tell you how to do it.

Eventually he realizes you already know what you’re supposed to do... (you can read, Levi.) And then proceeds to actually help.          

Expect a lot of sarcasm and insults. He doesn’t necessarily mean them, but he will say them anyway.         

"Whining about it isn’t going to magically speed this up. Get to it.” 

Very rarely strays away from what it is you’re meant to be doing.

Complaining gets you nowhere with him.         

“No, we’re not taking a break, you should have eaten before.”         

It’s not that he doesn’t care, he does, but he also knows you will do anything to get out of studying when you’re frustrated, and tend to over-exaggerate. You’re not ‘starving’, he saw you eat at lunch... which was only a couple of hours ago.          

Likes to prioritize your subjects. Will take into account when assignments are due in, how difficult they are going to be and how long it will take to get done.         

Strict. Very strict.          

Prefers to study in a quiet and familiar place. Libraries or either of your houses where there are minimal distractions. 

Absolutely will not let you copy his notes. You’re welcome to read them, but he expects you to refer to your own. That doesn’t mean you don’t steal snippets here and there though, much to his annoyance.   

“Do you pay attention in any of your classes?”          

Very good at breaking things down and explaining things. You actually pick things up pretty quickly when studying with him, probably due to his ‘no nonsense’ approach.          

Will occasionally randomly test you to see if you’re actually paying attention and remembering what you are doing. He always smiles a little when you can answer his questions.          

Is not going to do the work for you, and certainly isn’t going to give you answers, you have to really work for them.          

Is patient until you start misbehaving.     

His occasional praises are a treat.

Erwin Smith:·         

Loves to study with you in different places. This man will plan a whole day for it.          

Will always bring a picnic when you study in a park. Happy to share a cocktail if you go to a bar, or a milkshake and burger if you go to a diner. 

If you do happen to study in a library, he will always take you for food afterwards. 

His notes are detailed and beautifully written and he has no problem with you using them.         

Don’t expect him to give you the answers though. Erwin is the sort of person who will ask you what you think. 

“How do you think we figure that out?”   

“What do you think we need to do?”       

“What do you think this means?”         

It’s not that he doesn’t know. But he wants you to try and figure things out yourself. As long as he can see you’re making an effort though, he is happy to guide you and let answers slip here and there, or word things in such a way that you suddenly have an epiphany and get the answer.

Is a great motivator and supporter.          

Doesn’t mind taking breaks every so often and uses this time to have general conversation with you. Nothing work related in the breaks, it’s meant to be a break.         

Is not above bribing you. Whether it be with food, physical affection, surprises... 

Yes, Erwin has in fact brought you gifts and refused to give them to you until you do the work and get it right.         

And he would do it again.        

Erwin knows a decent amount about a lot of different subjects and sometimes shares random facts regarding topics you’re studying about. Sometimes they are not at all relevant. But they are usually always interesting.         

You have this man’s undivided attention throughout the study session. Erwin is usually very busy , so when he does dedicate time to help you, he likes to be fully committed.          

Will ignore his phone completely. Texts, phone calls... everything, until you both take a break.

Hanji Zoe:·         

When the two of you get together to study, it is very hit and miss as to whether you actually get the work done. She is so intelligent, but also, such a ditz at times.          

Hanji can talk.         

Like, a lot.          

She very often will start off talking about a topic and swerve off into other lanes and get completely side-tracked.          

You once started off writing a biology paper and somehow ended up getting a history lesson about Ramses II, after learning all the details of the Black Death and even touching on Jack the Ripper.   

 But she is highly intelligent under her scatterbrain-iness.        

But can become very easily distracted. Especially if you start talking to her about something she is very excited or passionate about.          

Will sometimes forget to bring textbooks you need to use.         

Will hyper focus at times. Sometimes a bit too extensively. It can be very draining.        

Can be known for getting lost in the details.          

Never comes to a study session without a coffee for the both of you.

Absolutely has no problem sharing her notes with you, will often steal yours too.        

“A fresh set of eyes and all that.”        

“Ah, this is good! Who knew you were a certified genius?!”        

Has no problem pulling her weight on group projects, but also has no problem letting you take the lead... or do all the work.         

Tends to be much more productive closer to the end date of an assignment. 

Fidgets a lot. Always tapping a pen, nibbling on the end or twirling it between her fingers. Knee bouncing... almost constantly.          

Likes to take regular breaks to analyse and go over what the two of you have learned and accomplished so far and decide where to go from here.

Procrastinates.

Reiner Braun:·         

Reiner is always happy to study with you. Even though his calendar is pretty full, he will always make an effort to squeeze you in.          

Definitely the kinda guy to put a game night on hold, telling his friends online he will be back in a couple of hours to help you first.          

Always greets you with a kind smile and asking if you’re ready for the session.       

Doesn’t mind where you study, but does prefer to study at his house so he can give you a snack or something to drink.   

Really likes it when you go and study in the garden. It is probably his favourite place to study with you. Just because it is nice, quiet and peaceful.          

Very chilled out; will often make jokes and try his best to keep the mood light. 

Very patient; has no problem going over things multiple times and trying lots of different ways to try and help you understand.          

Likes to be close to you when you work together. Knees occasionally touching, shoulders brushing. Just give this man a reason to touch you in anyway shape or firm. A reassuring hand on your shoulder, a quick one armed hug in the chair, ruffling your hair, squeezing your hand... he is all about that shit.          

Will celebrate your victories and praise you constantly.        

“Hey, well done! See I knew you would get it.”         

“We’ve done a lot today, I’m proud of you.”         

Always down for a cuddle or a movie afterwards, or maybe even a walk through the park to get some air and unwind.          

Will digress sometimes but it’s very fleeting and he picks up exactly where he left off again easily.          

Has no problem with you taking some of his notes, or searching the Internet for answers.          

Will explain how he got the answer and break things down into manageable chunks for you.         

Chocolate is always on the table.        

If you get too stressed he will let you take a break.         

Will offer to give you neck, back or even hand massages if you get too stiff. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

[onecanonlife]

In which Tommy travels back in time and tries to prevent a nightmare from happening to everyone he knows. Everyone else, meanwhile, is highly concerned.

(fic masterpost w/ ao3 links)

(first part) (previous part) (next part)

(word count: 4,152)

--------------------

Part Seven: Ranboo

Page 1

I’m not really sure how to start this.

One of the most important things to know is probably that this is a different journal from the other one. So just in case you forget: this isn’t your memory book. This is for something different. But it’s still really important that you keep track of this one. Maybe not as important as the memory book? But I’m not really sure.

So don’t lose it.

Now’s the part where I’d say exactly what it’s for, except I don’t really know yet. I don’t know anything. You’d think that wasn’t anything new for me, but this is… different. I keep putting that it’s different without explaining why. Words are just not my friends.

I think I’m wasting ink.

This is a dream journal, I guess? I don’t know how else to put it. Because I’ve been having some really, really weird dreams for the past few weeks, and it’s gotten to the point where I just. Feel like I need to be keeping track of them? Because it’s kind of weird that I’m having so many dreams at all considering what usually happens when I fall asleep (check the memory book? for that? if you need to?), so I just don’t know. I don’t know anything. Which is nothing new, but still. I feel kind of bad that I bought a whole book and a whole new pen just to write down how much I don’t know stuff, but it’s okay. I’ve been winning more recently so I had enough money.

The thing about the dreams is that they’re really vivid. Almost like they feel real. The details always go fuzzy after a while, so I don’t actually have anything specific to write down here yet, but I know they’re weird. There’s just something about them.

So, new book. Dream journal.

Next time you have one of them, remember to write it down here.

---

Page 2

Okay so I forgot I bought this for like a week but I remember now. And I just woke up and I had one of those really weird dreams, so here’s what it was about:

There were some people with me. I don’t remember what their faces looked like. I think they were all shorter than me, but that doesn’t really narrow it down. There were… three? Maybe? I think there were three of them. And I felt like I knew them. Dream-me knew them, I mean. I have no idea who they were.

They were talking about something, and I was talking too, like I knew what they were talking about, even though I definitely didn’t. That’s something weird about all these dreams—I’m pretty sure that while I’m in them, it always feels? Right, I guess? Even though I definitely don’t know what’s going on literally ever?? But anyway they were talking about something, and I don’t really remember what but they seemed upset. I think I was upset too. I felt kind of upset.

They had swords. Really fancy ones.

It was cold??? But like really, really cold. Colder than I think I’ve ever been? Or at least colder than I remember ever being, so it’s kind of weird that my brain could make up something that cold.

There’s not much else to write because I don’t remember what the conversation was about. It just felt like there was something bad happening. But I don’t feel like the people were bad. The people felt good, actually. Safe?

Oh, and one of them hugged me at the end. Which was weird because I don’t usually like to be hugged or touched by people, especially people who I don’t know, but in the dream I was fine with it. I even liked it. It felt… safe’s a good word to use. It felt warm and safe and I didn’t feel so scared anymore. It was a really good hug actually. I kind of wish it weren’t a dream because if someone hugged me like that I think I wouldn’t mind hugging so much.

I think that guy had wings. Or maybe it was a really big, weird blanket. I don’t really know. Felt good though.

---

Page 3

I had another one. All I remember is a name.

Who’s Michael?

---

Page 4

I think tonight was a normal night. I don’t remember anything in particular but I woke up feeling really unsettled for some reason. So it was probably just a regular dream, or maybe a nightmare. I was in the same place though, so not sleepwalking I hope.

I can’t stop thinking about the name Michael. It feels really important. I wish I knew why.

---

Page 7

It’s been a week of weird little fragments and strange feelings and things I can’t remember, but I remembered more when I woke up this morning.

I was running with someone. Two someones? I think there were two. But they were different from the people from before. Or at least I think they were. I still don’t remember what they looked like. I think I didn’t know what they looked like in the dream either. I don’t know if that’s because I was dreaming or maybe all of this really is just my brain making up stuff and it just can’t invent whole people for me to look at.

I wouldn’t be surprised, actually. This whole thing is probably pointless.

But anyway, we were running, and that was pretty much the whole thing. There was a really loud noise too, and it was making my ears hurt. And I remember I felt really scared. Not just for myself, but also for the people I was with. That’s one of the things that makes me not so sure that these are normal dreams, because even if my brain was making up hazy not-real people for me to do stuff with, would it be able to make up the feelings that I have for them? Whenever there’s someone with me in a dream, they always feel really important to me. I’m usually worried about them.

I still can’t remember what they were saying or the sound of their voices. I feel bad about it. Probably worse than I should.

They’re just dreams, right?

---

Page 10

Dream.

---

Page 11

Not sure what that was? Note to self, do a better job at including context.

---

Page 13

A crack in the earth and a break in the code and something old something waiting something watching something that calls in the dark and in the shadows and in the corners and in the mirror and it is waiting it is waiting it is waiting it is waiting it wants it wants it wants blood and it will have blood it wants blood and it will drink and the skies will break apart and the ground will shatter and it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have blood it will have

---

Page 14

I had another pretty clear one. It was really hot. I think there was a lot of smoke. I was scared again, because there was… someone coming? Maybe?? Or something coming. I’m not sure. But whatever it was, it was bad, and we didn’t want it to get there.

There were three people again. I think I didn’t like one of them. When I looked at them I felt really, really angry. But that one, the one I didn’t like, they were kneeling on the ground, and there was a book in their hands? I know it was a book but I couldn’t see what it said. Isn’t that supposed to be a thing, not being able to read in dreams? I don’t know.

I think that person was reading from the book. I couldn’t understand the words, but the air felt weird. Heavy. And then I think there was a fourth person too, and then I think there were people trying to stop the person reading because they were doing something bad? They were going to hurt someone? It got muddled here and I don’t know why we were trying to stop them all of a sudden when I think we were fine with it at first, but I guess dreams don’t have to make sense.

None of this makes any sense.

But anyway, something happened, I think. Something really, really bad and I don’t remember what, because that’s when I woke up. But something went wrong. I think the bad thing got there.

I think there might also have been blood. But I’m not sure.

I’m not sure of anything.

---

Page 16

Wait, what happened on page 13?

I can’t read what it says. Did I cross that out?

---

Page 17

I can’t help but wonder if these are dreams at all. I’ve already got memory problems so who’s to say this isn’t just some more of that, just in a different form?

But the thing about that is, if these are memories of some kind I’ve got no idea when they could’ve happened. And I know my memory’s not great, but could I really forget being on a completely different server?

No, I could definitely forget being on a different server. I definitely could. I don’t even know where I came from originally. But I know I’ve been on Hypixel for years. I know I’ve been here, even if I don’t really remember a whole lot of particulars, so when did any of this happen?

I don’t know if I want these dreams to be memories. Some of them feel really scary.

---

Page 18

I woke up crying.

I think someone was dead in my dream. Someone I really really cared about.

I’m still crying a little bit. It hurts. I don’t want these to be memories. I don’t want to have lost someone like that.

---

Page 21

I defintiely dont want these to be memories I’m still shaking and I dont I cant

---

Page 22

Okay. I’ve calmed down. I need to write this. I need to remember later.

I think I hurt someone. Really, really hurt someone.

I’m going to describe this as best I can.

The whole thing felt dim and kind of hazy, but not in the normal dream sort of way. Like there was an actual haze in the air. And everywhere I looked it was all red, like I was wearing tinted glasses or something. I was with other people. Different people from any of the ones before, I think, and I felt different about them too. I wrote down how usually I’m worried about the people I’m with, but it wasn’t like that this time.

I think I hated them. I’m not sure. I don’t really know what that feels like.

But anyway, we were going somewhere together. There was something like an island, only it was in the sky. Like a big chunk of floating rock. And we were trying to get up there, and then we did and there was someone waiting for us. I can’t picture what they looked like except I think they were weirdly blurry? But everyone in these dreams is weirdly blurry. I don’t know, this felt like a different kind of blurriness. I think this person was trying to talk to us or stop us or something, but it was really easy to get past them. Almost like we could go straight through them.

And then we were inside. There was a building of some kind. Big and kind of pretty? Maybe? It was hard to see details, because of the haze and blurriness and everything, and it still all looked really red. There was someone else waiting for us inside. I remember this part because it was really weird, because at first this person was like, normal sized. And then they got super big. So many feet tall. Taller than me, and that’s weird. That doesn’t happen very often.

And then we were all fighting this person. I don’t remember this part super well. Somebody got hurt I think, and maybe there was also lightning?? I think I remember lightning. And the fight went on for a while, and then I went somewhere else so I don’t know how it ended, whether the big guy won or the people I was with or what.

But so I went down this hallway. And then a bunch of hallways and then I was in a bigger room. This is the important part. There were three people in this room. One of them was sitting with their back facing me, one of them was kind of in the middle, looking my way, and the other one was really little and sitting in the corner.

I don’t

I don’t know why I did what I did next. I’m not even sure that I wanted to. It was like I was watching myself do it, almost. Like there was something else moving me and I didn’t like that at all and I really don’t want to think about it more but there it is.

And then I

I don’t want to write this

The whole room lit up. There was some kind of glowing design on the ground. The person with their back to me was on the edge of it, and the person in the middle was. In the middle. Of it. And they saw me. They looked at me and I felt

I don’t even know what I felt.

And then it was like the whole world just. Stopped. I don’t know how to describe it. And the other person shouted something and then I just

And then I stepped forward, and I grabbed the first person by the hair, and there was a sword in my hand, and I think I

I slit their throat.

The other person was screaming. I don’t know what happened to the little one.

And then it all went dark, and I woke up.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to remember this, even though I guess I should. If it’s more than just a dream, but I don’t want it to be more than just a dream.

And if this is a memory or something, I don’t know what to do.

Should I turn myself in? What would I even say? Hi, I think I murdered someone. No, I’m not sure, but I had this weird dream you see, and it’s actually possible that I might have done this because sometimes I do things in my sleep that I don’t remember later and my memory is just, incredibly bad in general so it’s actually super possible that I killed someone and then forgot about it.

Would anyone even believe that? Should I try?

I don’t want to hurt someone.

---

Page 24

The dreams keep coming, but none of them have been as detailed as that last one.

I still don’t know what to do.

I wish someone would tell me what to do.

But I don’t think I can tell anyone about this. Who would I even tell?

Can I put myself in prison? Can someone do that? At least I would know for certain that I’m not hurting anyone.

Sometimes I think I have blood on my hands and I just want to scrub it off so bad but that’s not a good idea for obvious reasons but I just

I really need a solution.

---

He’s wandering around one of Hypixel’s hubs when he sees the news. Hypixel’s pretty good for that: news from other servers. Probably because so many players from so many places converge here. But he’s never bothered very much with that kind of stuff. There’s not much to bother with, considering that he has no idea where he was before he was here, and he has no idea where he’d go if he ever left. It’s not like he knows anybody. Literally. Anywhere. It’s kind of sad, if he’s being honest.

But for some reason, Ranboo hears the name ‘Dream SMP’ and stops dead in his tracks.

Which, not his best idea ever, considering that this is a crowded hub, so someone bumps into him pretty much right away, and then they glare at him right in his eyes, and he has to duck his head and apologize because oops, he’s inconvenienced someone so now he’d like the earth to swallow him whole, please, and also eye contact. Hm. Not good. He doesn’t like that. It makes his chest buzz and his head ache and every bone in his body go all stiff and tense.

So he makes himself start walking again before he can cause any more trouble. He just makes sure he heads in the direction of the news cast. For no particular reason, it’s just—that name. It strikes a chord in him, and he’d like to know a little more, that’s all.

There’s a few people hanging around, obviously with the same idea. They don’t pay him any attention, which is nice, because that means he can just stand there and listen without worrying about having to talk to anyone.

The newscaster is talking about an election. Being held on this server, the Dream SMP. He’s not sure why something like that would matter here, especially after the newscaster goes on to say that there’s only a few dozen players on this server in total. Except then it turns out that people don’t have to be on this server to vote in this election, which doesn’t make any sense to him at all. Something about how influential the server is? So other people get a say in stuff?

He’s not going to bother writing that part down, because he wouldn’t understand it even if he did.

And then the newscaster starts talking about the people who are running for office in this country on this server. And there’s. Pictures. And he’s pretty sure that his heart is trying to crawl up his throat and literally outside of his body. Because. Okay. Most of these people, he has no idea who they are. Which is absolutely what he expected.

But then, the news shows the current president. Who is also running. And the current president’s vice president. And—he doesn’t recognize this Wilbur person.

Somehow, though, he sees TommyInnit, and he almost bursts into tears, which, wow. Strong reaction much? And he tries really hard not to cry if he can help it, which makes this even more weird. It’s not even that he recognizes him, because he’s pretty sure that he doesn’t. Or if he does, he can’t place where he knows him from. But he looks at this guy—and he doesn’t look like anything special, really, just a guy, a teenager, blond hair and kind of lanky, red and white t-shirt—and feels a whirlwind of emotions in him, rising up, threatening to bubble over, and it’s strange and confusing because he doesn’t know why.

Just to be sure, he pulls out his memory book and leafs through it. No mention of anyone named TommyInnit, or even just Tommy. He pulls out the dream journal, too, but it’s the same. The only name in there is Michael. No Tommy.

There’s plenty of other things written in there. Things he doesn’t want to think about. Even though trying not to think about them kind of just makes him think about them more, and then he feels terrible, and then—

“Huh,” the guys standing nearest to him says, very suddenly. “How about that.”

He’s scared for a second, because he thinks the guy might be talking to him, about him, that he’s read some of his writing over his shoulder or something. But no, the guy is looking at the screen, still. His eyebrows are raised. Ranboo focuses on them, because he’s found that if he looks at people’s eyebrows, it’s close enough to eye contact that people won’t ask why he’s not looking at them, and it’s far enough that he’s not bothered. Best of both worlds. And it’s also probably better to stare there than at the guy’s big, curling horns, or the way he’s dressed. In a fancy suit—and that’s odd. Not the suit part, because Ranboo likes to wear suits himself, when he can get them. Because they’re cool and snazzy. Mostly, it’s just the fact that it’s so well-fitting. Obviously expensive, even to his eyes.

He doubts that this is the sort of person who competes in the tournaments.

And then, the guy turns toward him, and he regrets. So very much, so very intensely. He shouldn’t have stared at all.

“The hell are you looking at?” the guy says, and. Um. This is not very good, actually.

“Sorry,” he says, and averts his eyes really, really far away. Back to the screen. “You just. I mean. You talked, and no one else here really is, so I just. Yeah. Sorry.”

The guy laughs, so maybe he’s not mad. “Don’t sweat it, kid,” he says, but then, instead of leaving him alone, he keeps talking to him. Oh boy. What has he started. “You interested in shit like this?”

What does he say to that? He’s not even sure what this is, exactly.

“Kind of?” he ventures. “I guess I just wanted to know what was going on.” That’s good. Nice and vague.

The guy shakes his head. “You and me both. Never woulda thought Wilbur had something like this in him. Politics was never his shtick. But hey, best of luck to him, right? I’m rooting for him.”

Oh! So this guy knows one of the people on the server. The president. Wilbur Whatever-His-Last-Name-Was, He Forgot.

“Do you,” he starts, and breaks off after the guy turns back to him. But no, he wants to know. This is a reasonable question to ask, he thinks. “I mean, do you know how somebody might, um. Go about trying to get on this server? If they thought there was someone there they knew?”

The guy laughs again, louder, and he cringes back. “Trying to get on that server?” he says. “Good luck with that. They say Dream’s exclusive as hell with who he invites. If you’ve got someone’s private comm code, you might have some luck there, be able to plead your case, but you’re shit out of luck otherwise. Unless you wanna try hacking, but I wouldn’t recommend that. Shit’s too much of a risk, not enough payoff, especially when it’s Dream you’re dealing with.”

“Oh,” he says. “Um. Dream. That’s the admin?”

“Bastard,” the guy says, nodding. “Banned me, the asshole. Not that I care about being on his shitty server, but it’s the principle of the thing. You get it, don’t you?”

“Sure?” He doesn’t. Or, well, maybe.

His brain has gotten a bit stuck on the idea of hacking. Which is not a good idea, of course. Not a good idea at all. Even if he managed to get on, somehow, he’d be kicked off before he could do anything, surely. And if he failed—he’s heard stories. Rumors, more than anything. Players who get stuck in the void, locked out of any server at all. Players who mess with their own code by mistake, causing glitches, mutations, splices. Players who are never seen again.

Hacking’s a dangerous kind of magic. Not something to be messed with lightly.

“What’s your name, kid?” the guy asks, and he jolts.

“Um. Ranboo,” he says. “I’m Ranboo.”

“Ranboo,” the guy repeats. He doesn’t pronounce it quite right. “Weird fucking name. Well, good luck with whatever the hell you’re doing, I guess. If you do anything illegal, it’s nothing that I told you about.”

“Of course?” he says, but the guy’s already walking away. He’s got a confident kind of walk. Ranboo feels uneasy, watching his retreating back vanish into the crowds of the hub.

He looks back at the screen. The news has moved on. He wishes it hadn’t; he would’ve liked to hear it all again so the details were fresher.

Because this—this should go in the memory book. He’s not entirely sure why. But it’s important, and he doesn’t want to forget important things. What he’ll do with the information, he’ll figure out later.

Hacking. He shouldn’t. He definitely shouldn’t.

But something about this Tommy—

He brings out his memory book and his pen, and he starts to write.

[senorarelojes]

Pizzaverse artwork and ficlet: 'A Little Piece'

@maiyashu made this really cute and beautiful Instagram post of Pizzaverse Dave being silly and drawing little monsters/creatures on the notes he leaves for Alan and their kids around the house. Of course, Alan shows off his husband's work on Instagram. Under the artwork is an accompanying ficlet set in the future for the Pizzaverse timeline. Thank you dear Shu for your gorgeous (and funny) artwork! Happy Father's Day to the boys!

Title: A Little Piece Pairing: Dave/Alan Rating: General Tags: Pizzaverse, Kid Fic, Fluff

Dave was always amused whenever Alan teased him about being the one in their relationship who was more addicted to social media. It seemed they were both on an even keel; Alan posted more often, while Dave had a variety of accounts across various platforms that he’d lost interest in after the initial posting frenzy. They had their different addictions too: Dave liked the spontaneity of Twitter and TikTok, while Alan for some reason preferred Facebook and Reddit. But Instagram was their common vice, and most of their friend circle were on it as well.

Before fatherhood, Dave had imagined that his use of social media would dwindle because he simply wouldn’t have the time. But instead he’d found the opposite to be true: now he wanted to post about Alan, Paris and Stella all the time, and he didn’t even care if no one outside their family and a few chosen friends would find it cute.

Of course, both Dave and Alan took care to obscure the faces of their daughters. But the adorable things they did were up for grabs: Paris’ first steps, then followed by Stella’s in a few years. Their first stuffed toys. Their first drawings. Dave shamelessly spammed his IG feed with various pictures and videos, and refused to feel bad about it because Martin was doing the same with his kids, and so was Fletch, who seemed convinced that his daughter was a maths prodigy.

Of course, Dave posted pictures of Alan on his feed as well. Naturally his husband was usually included if it was a picture or video with one of the girls, such as Alan helping Paris with her homework or feeding Stella at dinnertime. But sometimes Dave saved a few precious shots he’d snuck on his phone, like Alan frowning at the computer in his tiny makeshift home studio, or stealing a rare moment after the girls had gone to bed to listen to one of the many records he owned. Those didn’t get as many likes and comments as anything Dave posted of the girls, but he didn’t care much.

In truth, Dave would have probably gone on like this if Alan hadn’t taken him aside one night and asked him why he’d stopped posting pictures of his art. “My art?” Dave echoed, genuinely surprised that Alan had been keeping track because Dave certainly hadn’t.

“Yeah, your paintings.” Alan gestured towards Dave’s most recent effort, which was a white cat posing regally by a candle. Even that had been painted more than a year ago, before Stella had come into their lives. “You don’t really post them anymore. Or paint much more, for that matter.”

Dave just kept staring at Alan in astonishment. When they had gotten married and subsequently made the decision to become parents via surrogacy, it had been pretty much an unspoken agreement between them that family and work would have higher priority. This meant their hobbies were naturally the first thing to be sacrificed for time, and Dave had been fine with that. They hadn’t touched the band in years, not since the last time everyone had performed at Martin’s wedding.

But now Dave realised that he missed painting with an ache like a phantom limb, like something that had always been a part of him was now oddly missing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d picked up a paintbrush for the hell of it. Everything he’d designed or illustrated over the past year had solely been for work, and that thought pained him like a spike through his solar plexus.

In contrast, Alan - who had always been very driven and disciplined - seemed to have no problem reviving his interests in mixing and composing after Stella had started sleeping at more regular hours. So Dave didn't even have the excuse of fatherhood.

“You should pick it up again,” Alan told him with a gentle squeeze of his hand, before moving on to the topic of Father’s Day, which was coming up. Dave just nodded distractedly when Alan suggested ordering in brunch from a nice restaurant, still preoccupied with thoughts of Alan’s mind-blowing revelation.

After that conversation with Alan, Dave decided to try and carve out time for painting. Although that wasn’t always possible, he did want to show Alan he was trying, so he started with small gestures. If he left reminders and post-its for Alan around the house, he’d be sure to draw a funny cartoon to accompany his loopy handwriting, like a sentient postbox (to remind Alan to go to the post office) or a funny caricature of Martin and Fletch (to ask Alan if he wanted to have dinner and catch up with them).

Alan never really mentioned the little drawings beyond an amused eye-roll, but Dave knew Alan was never particularly verbose about his true sentiments anyway. Dave had learned to look towards Alan’s actions instead. Sure enough, Alan started taking pictures of Dave’s little drawings and posting them on Instagram with an accompanying dry and witty caption, along with the hashtag ‘#artisthusband’. To Dave’s surprise, it really took off among their friends and other family members, and Dave always had to fend off demands from his mum and Sue about more cute artwork everytime he called home.

Since Paris and Stella loved the drawings too, he started drawing little monsters for them on their paper lunch bags, which he would prepare for them before Alan would drop them off at daycare. It wasn’t long before Alan started posting these on Instagram too, and his comment section would get animated at times because Martin, Fletch, Paul, Daryl and the rest would start discussing which creature Dave had meant to draw. He didn’t have the heart to tell them he’d made them all up on the spot.

Having Alan’s support like this, even for his silly little drawings, was more fulfilling and touching than Dave had expected. So he’d really meant it when he said he was going to get art supplies, but more often than not Dave would get distracted and buy Elsa colouring books for the girls instead. Alan hadn’t said anything at all, but Dave knew how to read him pretty well by now. His husband was definitely planning something.

On the morning of Father’s Day, Dave was the first out of bed so he put in the order at the restaurant before going for a run in Hyde Park. His metabolism wasn’t what it used to be, and he’d gotten into the habit of eating off the girls’ plates whenever they couldn’t finish their food. Alan was a really good cook too, so Dave knew he had to fit in a run today if he was going to be feasting on french toast and eggs benedict for Father’s Day.

When he got home, he thought he spotted Alan in the study with a giggling Paris and Stella. “Hello, my loves,” he yelled out at the door, even more mystified when Alan quickly stepped out of the study with the girls, closing the door hurriedly behind them.

“The food’s just got delivered, I’ll set the table,” Alan told him with a too-bright smile. ‘You go shower first, yeah?”

Dave decided to let his suspicious behaviour go for now. “Alright, sure.” He loped over to where they were, giving Alan a brief kiss and a I’m-on-to-you squint before bending down to stretch his arms out to the girls. “Can I get a hug first?”

“Daddy’s stinky!” Paris protested laughingly, while an uncomprehending Stella just giggled along with her older sister.

Dave’s jaw dropped in mock outrage. “Stinky, am I? How about I make you stinky too, huh?” He pretended to chase a squealing Paris and Stella for a hug, laughing when they ran to hide behind an amused Alan’s legs.

“Just go shower, the food’s getting cold, you lunatic.” Alan shook his head at Dave with a grin before shepherding the girls to the dining area. Dave left him to it, washing up quickly so he could join his family for breakfast.

However, he wasn’t expecting to find Alan and the girls waiting for him outside the bedroom, all of them grinning innocently at him. “What’s going on?” a suspicious Dave asked.

Paris took his hand and tugged him to the study, Alan picking up Stella and following with her in his arms. When Paris pushed open the door, Dave stared in shock at the brand new easel waiting for him, along with the art supplies neatly piled on top of a blank canvas. He stepped forward, picking up the paints and brushes with trembling hands. Alan had gotten everything right, remembered every detail from when Dave used to paint before they’d gotten married and become fathers.

“I had to take a bit out of the holiday budget for this,” came Alan’s soft voice behind him. “But it’s worth it for me to delay our trip. I’d rather see you painting again.”

“We want more of Daddy’s paper monsters!” Paris declared gleefully, while Stella stared at all of them in bafflement.

“I--” Dave just couldn’t speak. His heart was so full, like it was going to overflow with joy and sentiment and his overwhelming love for his family. There were simply no words that could possibly encapsulate the emotions warring within him now, so instead he grabbed Alan and the girls to him in a tight hug, his breaths ragged and his eyes wet.

“Happy Father’s Day,” Alan said quietly, the smile evident in his voice even though Dave couldn’t quite see his face.

“You too, Al.” Dave pulled away to kiss him, then smothered his squealing girls with equal affection.

[fanficflaneuse]

Dear Draco - Part 1

Part 2  Part 3  Bonus Chapter 

Index 

A/N: Hello loves, welcome to my new mini series based on an anon request. It will have three parts, four at most. I hope you like this! 

Thanks for all the love I received for my birthday. And thanks for reading and letting me know how you feel about my writing. 

Details: 

Draco x reader (she/her) 

Word count: 3146 (I got carried away, sorry). 

Summary: In the summer after fourth year, Draco falls in love with a muggle.

Disclaimers: it’s going to get angsty as hell and also very fluffy. Hermione x Draco friendship. 

Enjoy! 

Hermione sat alone on the library. She was deep in concentration, reading about the Patronus charm for the next DA meeting. All of a sudden, she felt someone looming over her. She closed her book, trying to make it seem as natural as possible. The brown-haired girl looked up, only to find none other than Draco Malfoy himself looming over her. Hermione’s features turned into a nasty scowl.  

“Granger,” he tried to sound conciliatory.

“What do you wa –wait, what? Since when do you call me by my last name?”  

Only then she realized Draco didn’t look like himself at all. Gone was the haughty attitude, the cocky smirk, the puffed chest. Not to mention the posse. He was no longer an image of confidence, but rather seemed distraught. This piqued the Gryffindor’s curiosity. Still, she was not going to let him see that. These days any slip could be detrimental.

Draco shrugged, hands deep in his robe’s pockets. “It’s your last name, isn’t it?”

Hermione eyed him suspiciously. “Oh, really? So, for five years you’ve thought my last name was mudblood?” she snapped.

Draco winced as she said the hateful label, as though it physically hurt him to hear it. This was the strangest sight she had encountered so far – which was plenty, all things considered.

“Are you okay, Malfoy?” she asked, baffled and cautious.

Draco didn’t answer. Instead, he just rubbed his face with his hands before pulling his hair just slightly. Hermione had never seen him act so natural, so human and, above all, so appalled. Slowly, the ubiquitous paranoia in the back of her mind fogged all of her brain. Her mind started shooting conspiracy theories left and right. As the seconds passed, she thought about every possible way in which Draco could be tending her a trap, which meant he knew something. Hermione got nervous and peered around for someone who could potentially help her. She noted – much to her annoyance – that her tendency to study in the farthest corners of the library had her facing the Slytherin prick on her own.

Draco noticed her discomfort and felt really stupid. He was about to leave, but then he remembered why he approached in the first place. It glued him in his place. So, he just shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and swallowed his pride.

“I…I need your help,” he said sheepishly.

For a second, Hermione thought about making a run for it. But she was far too intrigued now. She definitely wanted to know what could Draco Malfoy possibly need her help for. She stayed still, eyeing him skeptically.

“What is it?”

“Not here,” he said in a hushed voice.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Malfoy” she huffed.

Draco lowered his gaze. The silence between them was absolutely charged. Hermione’s glare made him feel exposed and ashamed.

“Please.” The sound of his desperation almost convinced the Gryffindor. Almost.

“Harry and Ron must be within hearing range.”

“Not bloody likely,” he snapped.  

“Then no,” she said, crossing her arms.

Draco sighed, defeated. “Potter and Weasel-ey can’t know. Nobody can know. Hermione, please I am desperate.”

Hermione looked at him, her eyes wide. He had used her first name for the first time ever. She realized he must have been absolutely desperate. As stupid as seemed, it disarmed her. Hermione took a deep breath. In the worst of cases, Hermione thought, she was more than capable to defend herself from Malfoy. Besides, if he knew something about D.A, it was better to get over with it. She stood up, picked her books and looked at him.

“Where?”

Draco turned on his heel and guided Hermione to moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. She eyed him suspiciously as he motioned for her to get into a stall. He shot her a pout and Hermione rolled her eyes, but entered anyways. She thought she must have been going crazy as she found herself just inches away from Malfoy, who seemed unfazed by the whole affair. He felt so hopeless in his situation he didn’t really care what he had to do at this point.

“So,” she said awkwardly.

Draco didn’t listen. Hermione realized he was casting a silencing charm around them. Only then, did he dare to spill the secret that had been locked in his heart.

“Hermione, I am in love with a muggle.”

As the Hogwarts’ express arrived to platform 9 ¾ after their fourth year, Draco found himself alone. This was a strange occurrence; usually his parents were there to greet him. Their absence hinted something unpleasant, considering the dreary note in which the schoolyear had ended, and suddenly he didn’t feel like apparating back home. Not knowing where else to go, Draco joined the crowd of students heading towards muggle London.

He had never been to the muggle King’s Cross station and he’d be lying to say he wasn’t startled by it. He was mesmerized by the buzzing of the crowd, the smoke coming from the muggle trains, and the elegant simplicity of the station. He was eyeing the entrance curiously, wondering if he should step out or apparate back home, when he bumped into her. Or rather, she collided with him and their trunks were suddenly scattered around.

“Bloody muggles,” he murmured, as he picked his belongings.

“What did you call me?” the girl growled.

“Nothing,” Draco said, startled. He was not used to people talking back to him. The only ones who did were the infamous golden trio, but after five years of bantering he considered it part of his daily routine. Everyone else bowed their heads and carried own with their lives. He was expecting the muggle to follow suit.

She didn’t. So, he softened his scowl to take a good look at her, only to find the most striking girl he had ever seen. Draco was absolutely smitten. She tilted her head, eyeing him curiously.

“You have pretty eyes,” she said casually, as though she was talking about the weather. He felt his face getting hot, his eyes opening in a very unbefitting gesture of surprise. He wondered how she could be so…so easy-going about stuff like that. He had been thought to be suave, but four words of her had beat him.

Draco realized she was waiting for a response. “T-thank you,” he said embarrassedly. He grimaced when he heard her chuckle. The girl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stood up, offering a hand for him. Draco looked at the stretched hand for a while and took it just before she let it drop. They were soon shamelessly staring at each other, until a wave of people pushed them.

“Where are you going?” she asked. Draco shrugged in response, not knowing what to say.  

“Well…I don’t want to go back home. Would you want to go somewhere with me?”

Draco shoved his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to do. He didn’t want to go back home either. He had an enticing girl in front of him, one that didn’t hesitate to tell him – a stranger – his eyes were pretty and invite him somewhere. But that girl happened to be a mudblood. He shook that thought off his head, realizing, once again, that he was lost in thoughts and the girl was looking at him, waiting for him to answer.

“My name is (y/n),” she said as she pushed her trolley.

“Draco,” he answered, pushing his own trolley, “Draco Malfoy.”

(y/n) giggled, which filled Draco’s stomach with butterflies. “What is it?” Even he could hear the amusement in his voice.

“Was it after the constellation or because it’s Latin for dragon?” she mused.  

Draco gave her a small, genuine smile. “Both.”

He soon realized he had no idea where they were going. (y/n) seemed to read his mind, as she explained that they could leave their trunks at a luggage storage while they a stroll through the city. He then noticed that (y/n)’s trolley had trunks, big wooden trunks that resembled his own instead of the ungodly and shabby suitcases he had seen some mudbloods carrying around. He regarded her for a moment as they walked, examining her wardrobe: she wore a carmine coloured skirt, a matching blazer, black tights, black patent loafers and a creamy button-up with a dainty black bow at the collar. Her hair was up in a complicated hair-do. Draco noted that, by her side, he didn’t look particularly out of place in his sweater vest and tie. They could pass as two eccentric, rich kids.

“I gather you’re not from London.” She caught him staring in awe as they left the station, which made him feel self-conscious.

“N-no,” he stammered.

“Where are you from, then?”

“Wiltshire,” he blurted out. Draco realized he must look totally awkward, stuttering every answer as though he never had a conversation in his life. He didn’t know if he was nervous because of her or the fact that he was walking to the unknown with none other than a muggle, but it was totally wrecking his suaveness.

The girl seemed patient enough and smiled at him softly. Maybe it was even out of pity, but he found it adorable. “My grandma lives in Wiltshire. My mother makes me go there every once in a while, but I don’t like it that much.”

“Why?” he asked, genuinely interested.

“It’s a beautiful place, don’t get me wrong. And my grandma’s estate is marvellous, but such a vast house makes the solitude much more…real, you know?” Draco was hanging onto her every word now. She was describing, unabashedly, something he had felt since childhood. He admired her capacity to say this kind of things without the need of closed doors or silencing charms.

“I…I feel just the same,” Draco answered. He was surprised by the idea that him and muggles could have something in common.

(y/n) stopped on her tracks and Draco, who was following her around like a lost puppy, bumped into her back. He was about to apologize when she stopped him. “Given that you’re not from here, let’s do some touristy stuff. We can start here,” she said pointing out the building behind them. It was a grand construction, all in brick of a pinkish colour.

“British library,” Draco mouthed unsure. He noticed how (y/n) blushed slightly and her smile fell a little.

“We could…we could do something else,” she offered a bit ashamed. Draco felt terrible, he wanted her to smile again, to talk to him excitedly as she had done just a couple of seconds before. So, without really thinking about it, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the building.

She clasped his hand, an easy smile on his face, and was soon guiding him through rows and rows of muggle books he had never heard before. Draco tried to listen to everything she said. He wanted to remember names and references and look them up to have more things to talk to her about. Draco found himself wanting more conversations with her, more tours through libraries, more recommendations.

(y/n) was an open book. She told him that her parents were divorced. She lived with her mother in Edinburgh. Her father was a professor at LSE – whatever that was. He imagined, by context, it was a muggle Hogwarts.

“I like how you’re unphased by it,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“Whenever I tell anybody my dad works in LSE, I get a lot of praise. No matter how bigshot the person is, they want the easy way in to the school,” she shrugged. It meant nothing to Draco, who scratched the back of his neck in confusion. (y/n) laughed and carried on, pulling him through different streets with their fingers intertwined.

Draco just let go. He was having so much fun with her, he almost forgot about how weird the situation was. They talked about astronomy and Greek mythology, topics he – thankfully – dominated. They talked about their love for reading and learning. They bonded over the fact that their parents had very high expectations for them and they were top of their classes.

“Top of your class?” asked Hermione, eyebrow raised, as he told her this.

“I’m the second best. She didn’t need to know about you.” For the first time ever, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy shared a laugh. He then carried on with the most unlikely story ever.

Draco avoided telling her as many details as he could, but they managed to connect over the most universal feelings and situations. They talked about loneliness and pressure, about finding joy in the most unexpected things, about creating a façade for people. When she told him she enjoyed nature, he told her he played “a sport”. He smiled softly and agreed – almost unironically – when she said she would love to fly. When she told him about her pets, he told him his house was full of peacocks.

“She has a dog named Matisse, a snake named Medusa and a cat named Catsby,” he said.

Hermione laughed, which confused Draco deeply. “What’s so funny Granger?” He was getting defensive.

“Catsby,” she said, “what a very nerdy joke.”

Draco furrowed his brow. “Explain it to me. Merlin, maybe for once I can laugh at one of her jokes. She thinks I have the most backward sense of humour,” he ranted, hiding his face in his hands. Hermione thought it was almost – almost – adorable.

She told him in length about The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald and the Lost Generation, because she figured they were some references that would come in handy if he kept talking to (y/n). Once he understood the reference, Draco snorted.

“She’s such a smartass,” he said lovingly.

Hermione couldn’t believe her eyes. She was dying to know what he needed from her, but refrained from asking, allowing him to gush some more.

(y/n) invited him to afternoon tea. The tearoom reminded him of the grandeur of the tea parties back in the manor. He felt comfortable, and ventured to tell her little details about his boarding school. He told her about his favourite places and pastimes – the ones that could pass as muggle, of course. He told her about his friends. They talked and enjoyed tea and pastries until it was very late.

As they picked their trunks, they promised to meet the next day. They spent together almost every day of that summer. He was very careful when sneaking out, but soon realized his parents didn’t notice much, so he had free reign over his time as long as he was back for dinner. They met at the entrance of the station and they would stroll through the city together. (y/n) thought him how to use the tube. She taught him history as they walked hand in hand through museums and libraries. She recommended books he had to read in the middle of the night. And before he could even realize it, Draco caught feelings for her.

They kissed for the first time one month after they first met. They had spent the day walking through Camden Town. They visited little stores and swayed to music in the middle of the street. As every single afternoon, Draco didn’t want to say goodbye. (y/n)’s arms were locked around his neck and his own were on her hips. His chin rested on top of her head and they stayed like that for a while. Not saying anything. She pushed away from him just a little to see his face and they could feel the desire engulfing them.

Draco leaned in first, slow and calculated. (y/n) closed her eyes as soon as she felt their lips touching. It was a delicious sensation, their lips moving in synch in a kiss they had been waiting for a long time. As they pulled away, they were both a bit breathless and absolutely happy.

After that day, things changed for them. Every day they grew more attached to each other and it was harder and harder to say goodbye. And then the last day of August came by. (y/n) gave Draco her contact information for him to write and call her. When she asked for his, though, he made an elaborate story on how his school was very strict and prohibited letters from outsiders. (y/n) hadn’t bought it.

“I don’t get it. What kind of school doesn’t allow you to receive calls and letters?” she said, not very convinced. Draco didn’t want to look her way, knowing very well that he’d give her everything she wished if he saw her adorable little pout.

“So, I won’t hear from you?” she sighed, “Is this true or are you trying to get rid of me?” Draco finally looked her way and his heart broke. (y/n) was trying to hold back tears. He hugged her tightly, protectively.

“Hey, hey,” he said, taking her chin gently with his hand, “Never in a million years would I try to get rid of you.” He wiped away her tears, feeling miserable for making her sad. He hated that she had jumped into that terrible conclusion.

“I promise I will do everything I can to contact you. I’ll find a way. I’ll break the rules,” he said, not a hint of doubt in his voice. (y/n) hugged him tightly.

“I am going to miss you so much,” she said in a small, quavering voice.

“Me too, love,” he answered, hugging her back and trying to remain strong for both of them.

That is why he has here, three weeks into their fifth year, almost begging for Hermione’s help. He was desperate because he hadn’t thought about a way to contact (y/n) and he missed her so much his heart was genuinely aching. He imagined (y/n) must be heartbroken thinking he had played her and that thought alone was enough to give him nightmares.

Hermione was still trying to process everything he was telling her. Still in disbelief, she gave Draco a hug. The Gryffindor felt how he stiffened with her touch, but then he heard him sigh and relax. The Slytherin hugged her back and Hermione’s whole body tinged with hope. If Draco Malfoy had fallen for a muggle, anything could happen now.

“Is this why you didn’t join Umbridge’s squad?” she asked curiously.

Draco shrugged. “Mostly.”  

Hermione agreed to help him and they soon found a way. For the rest of the year, Draco handed in (y/n)’s letters to Hermione. She owled them to her own parents and they sent them by Royal Mail to her. Occasionally, Hermione would sit next to Draco in Myrtle’s bathroom. She would explain to him the references he wouldn’t get, which were mostly about culture. At times, she’d stay a little longer and they would gossip. To their surprise, they soon became each other’s confidant.

tags: @cleopatera @okaydraco @naomi02hook @the-hufflefluffwriter

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. About ten or fifteen years ago, I tried to read this and was totally overwhelmed by it. I kept it around, hoping maybe someday I might be able to read it. I finally have, and here are my impressions: WHY SO MANY NAMES. WHY YOU HAVE TO NAME EVERYBODY, AND EVERY TRIBE OF PEOPLES, AND EVERY INANIMATE OBJECT, AND EVERY LANDSCAPE FEATURE. WHY. *ahem* So. I have a general comprehension of the events of The Silmarillion, but I dealt with it by doing what you do for an impressionist painting. I (mentally) stepped way back and let all the names flow by me, and if there were names that were repeated a lot, then I mentally attached appropriate plot points and character details to those names so I could track with who they were and what they were doing. And, actually, I found myself able to hang on and enjoy the book for the most part. This is going to lead into a re-reading of the Lord of the Rings books, since I haven’t read those in about as long…

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I haven’t read some of these books since pre-teen years, with one required re-read of The Two Towers in high school (i.e. it’s been many an age since I’ve read these and my memory of the stories has been far more heavily influenced by the movies). In re-reading the first book, I was struck by the extreme tone shift for the Elves and Dwarves. Elves seem much closer to happy, mischievous fairies than these ethereal, solemn pillars of elegance and grace the movies show them to be. And Dwarves are far more bumbling and craftsmanlike than the movies show. Aside from that, The Hobbit was a pretty solid adaptation from the book, and the book also reminded me that this story was the first time I experienced “NO, MAIN CHARACTERS DON’T DIE, HOW DARE YOU,” and probably was the first book to make me cry. I must have been 8 or 10 years old. I FORGOT HOW MUCH THIS STORY INFLUENCED ME.

A Conflict of Visions by Thomas Sowell. I have a longer-than-usual list of things to say about this book. First is that it was just that level of difficult that I was struggling to understand while reading it (on Audible), but I think I got it. Sowell has several base concepts that I see repeated throughout his books, though he does like to dedicate whole books to specific aspects of the same topic. He is pretty damn thorough that way. So, for example, I would put this book in the middle of a three-book spectrum of similar concepts: Intellectuals and Society (most concrete and easiest to read), A Conflict of Visions (next-level abstraction, a little difficult to read), Knowledge and Decisions (root abstract concept, very difficult, I have not been able to get past chapter 2). The second thing I have to say is about a couple interesting concepts it proposes. Its whole point is to help readers understand the roots of two ways of seeing the world that come into severe conflict politically, and he calls them by their root titles: the constrained and the unconstrained visions. He traces the path of each back through the intellectuals that most spoke of them (tending to contrast Adam Smith with William Godwin and Condorcet). Though he leans heavily toward the constrained vision (based on reading his other works) he does his best to make this book an academic study of both, with both of the visions' strengths and flaws and reasoning and internal consistencies fairly laid out. In doing so, he helped me understand a few things that make this situation really difficult for people on opposing sides to communicate. One of them is that root words and concepts literally mean different things to different people. I had some vague notion of this before, but he laid out three examples in detail: Equality, Power, and Justice. It was kind of astounding to see just how differently these three words can be defined. It makes me think that arguing about any specific issues rooted in these concepts is fruitless until first an understanding has been reached on terms, because otherwise two parties are endlessly talking past each other. Another really interesting idea he brought up is the existence of “hybrid visions” and he named both Marxism and Fascism as hybrid visions. This was especially fascinating to me because I have seen the accusation of “Nazi” flung around ad nauseam and I wondered how it was that both sides were able to fling it at each other so readily. Well, it’s because Fascism is actually a hybrid vision, so both sides have a grain of truth but miss the whole on that particular point. In any case, this was a little difficult to read but had some fascinating information. For people who are wondering what on earth this gap is between political visions, how on earth to bridge the gap, or why the gap even exists in the first place, this is a really informative piece.

Movies

The Hobbit & Fellowship trilogies (movies). I mean, it’s definitely not my first watch, not even my second. But I went through it with Sergey this time and that means the run-time is double because we pause to talk and discuss details. This watch came about partly due to Sergey’s contention that Gandalf’s reputation far outstrips his actual powers, so we ended up noting down every instance of Gandalf’s power to see if that was true. Conclusion: Gandalf is actually a decently powerful wizard, but tends to use the truly kickass powers in less-than-dire circumstances. That aside, this movie series was always a favorite for me. I rated The Hobbit trilogy lower the first time I saw it but, frankly, all together the six movies are fantastic and a great way to sink deep into lore-heavy fantasy for a while. And I’m catching way more easter-egg type details after having read the Silmarillion so it’s even more enjoyable. (finally, after about a week of binge-watching) I forgot how much this story impacted me. I forgot how wrenchingly bittersweet the ending is. I forgot how much of a mark that reading and watching this story left on my writing.

Upside-Down Magic. Effects were good. Actors were clearly having fun and enjoying everything. Story didn’t make enough sense for my taste, but it was a decent way to kill flight time.

Wish Dragon. So, yes, it’s basically an Aladdin rewrite, but it’s genuinely a cheesy good fluff fest that made me grin a whole lot.

Plays

Esther (Sight and Sound Theatres). < background info > This is my third time to this theatre. There are only two of these in existence and they only run productions of stories out of the Bible. The first time I went I saw a production of Noah, the second time I saw a production of Jesus. My middle sister has moved all the way out to Lancaster, PA in hopes of working at this theatre. My husband and I came out to visit her. < /background info > So. Esther. They really pulled out all the stops on the costumes and set. I mean, REALLY pulled out all the stops. And the three-quarters wrap-around stage is used to great effect. I tend to have a general problem of not understanding all the words in the songs, but I understood enough. I highly recommend sitting close to the front for immersive experiences. This theatre puts on incredible productions and if you ever, ever, EVER have the opportunity to go, take it. Even if you think it's nothing but a bunch of fairy tales, STILL GO. I doubt you'll ever see a fairy tale produced on another stage with equal dedication to immersion.

Shows

The Mandalorian (first two seasons). Well. This was pretty thoroughly enjoyable. It felt very Star-Wars, and I’d kind of given up after recent movies. Felt like it slipped into some preaching toward the end? Not sure, I could be overly sensitive about it, but I enjoyed this a lot (though I did need to turn to my housemate and ask where the flip in the timeline we were because I did NOT realize that the little green kid IS NOT ACTUALLY Yoda).

Games

Portal & Portal 2. Portal is probably the first video game I ever tried to play, back when I had no idea what I was doing. Back then, I attempted to play it on my not-for-gaming Mac laptop. Using my trackpad. Once the jumping-for-extra-velocity mechanic came into play, I just about lost my mind trying to do this with a trackpad and gave up. Later I returned to the game and played it with my then-boyfriend on a proper gaming computer. Now, after having played several games and gotten better at "reading the language" of video games, I decided I wanted to see if I could beat the Portal games by myself. Guess what. I BEAT 'EM. Yes, I remembered most of the puzzles in Portal so that's a little bit of a cheat, but I'd say a good 2/3 of Portal 2 was new puzzles to me. It is crazy how proud I feel of myself that I could beat Portal 2, especially. Learning how to play video games at this age has really knocked down the lie, "You can't learn anything." Though I still suck at platformers and games that require precision. Since I find those types frustrating, I probably won't be playing many. Games are about enjoyment, so I'll push myself a little, but not to the point where I can't stand what I'm playing.

The Observer. I like the concept and the art but I don't think I could keep trying to play this game. It's really depressing. My in-game family members all died of illness or accident or committed suicide. I also kept getting executed by the state. In order to keep us all alive I'd have to do pretty terrible things that I have a hard enough time contemplating even in a fictional setting.

Baba Is You. Fun and interesting concept, but I got stuck pretty early on. Don't think I want to push as hard on this one.

[harryspet]

rogue angel [3] bucky barnes

[Warnings] dark bucky barnes x reader, don’t read warnings if you don’t wanna be spoiled, daddy bucky, dd lg dynamic, ab dl dynamic, forced age regression, bondage, vibrator, overstimulation

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! 

series masterlist

In which you want to believe he cares. 

word count: 2.5k

“Where are we?”

“On a picnic blanket.”

You had to keep yourself from rolling your eyes as you took in the environment. He had to carry you for a good ten minutes before you ended up by the lake and you hadn’t taken your eyes off the view since he’d set you on the picnic blanket. The lake was surrounded by tall mountains that reflected off the blue-green water. You hadn’t seen anything like it but this was simply a backyard to Bucky. 

There was also a dock nearby with a deck boat sitting at the end. If you had a key and you could somehow make it down to the lake then you could-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of something cold touching your back, “Stay still for Daddy,” You tried your best as he began to rub sunscreen into your exposed back. You wondered how there could be snow on the mountain tops but the sun still shined down on your skin. You never felt the sun on your skin before, always locked away in the cell that they kept you in. 

You didn’t mind it then but now … 

“Can we swim in the water?”

He tapped your nose with a bit sunscreen on his finger and you insisted that you could rub it in yourself but he didn’t care to listen. 

“The water is pretty cold,” You frowned a little, “Do you like to swim, angel?”

“I don’t know,” You answered honestly. You had no idea what you liked. It wasn’t in your nature to enjoy things of that nature. 

Bucky held your face in his hands and you wish very dearly that you weren’t so close to him. The feelings he brought out you were frightening, “We’ll try swimming someday. We can try lots of things and then we’ll make a list of everything you like.”

A list? “Why does it matter?”

“Because they make you happy,” Bucky gave you an earnest look, “C’mere, I brought something for you to do.”

He moved to reach into the picnic basket and removed a couple of books as well as a fresh pack of crayons. He placed them in front of you, one was full of blank pages and the other had lots of designs. You flashed him a look of confusion as you stared at the items. 

“What am I supposed to do?”

“They’re for coloring,” Bucky grinned, “You can either draw your own pictures or color in the designs. It’s relaxing.”

Relaxing, you thought it was an interesting concept.

You had no idea what you would draw on your own so you picked the book that already had outlines in it. Bucky watched you carefully as you flipped through the pictures, none of them piquing your interest until you paused. He couldn’t see which one you had chosen but your mood seemed to shift at the sight of it. 

“Just … right on the page?” She asked after picking out a yellow crayon. Bucky didn’t expect the question or for her to care in the slightest about the coloring book, “I won’t ruin it?”

“It’s your creation, how can you ruin it?”

You could definitely ruin it, you thought, you had screwed up many times before. As your fingers traced the design of the family of giraffes, you couldn’t help but stop yourself from pressing the crayon to the paper. 

It weakened Bucky’s heart to see you nervous and it took little effort to scoop you into his lap. You struggled, unsure of his intentions at first but he grabbed a blue crayon, “Let’s do it together, princess.”

The picture was a cute family of giraffes enjoying a watering hole together. Bucky began to color inside the lines of the water and you hesitated, looking him over. One hand was on your waist and the other was around the crayon. You brushed off that feeling in your heart as you pressed the yellow crayon to the paper. 

You colored their hides yellow and their spots brown. You liked how you added the splash of color, brightening the page, but could keep things organized by staying in the lines. You hadn’t even noticed that Bucky had stopped coloring to just admire you. 

Your eyes were focused solely on the drawing and he felt you began to relax in his arms, “You’re making such a pretty picture, Y/N,” Bucky praised her, watching your nose crinkle as you tried to hide a grin, “When we get back to the house, we’ll put it on the fridge.”

You didn’t respond, only shaded in the trees with dark green. You lost track of time as you colored in every single detail on the page carefully, from the butterflies to the smiles on the giraffes’ faces. You didn’t even notice as Bucky began to slip blueberries and strawberries into your mouth. You just enjoyed the taste, caring only to make sure no juices slipped onto your artwork. 

“Why … why are they so happy?” You asked, after placing the final touches. 

“Who are they?” Bucky asked, following your fingers as you pointed to the giraffe's on the paper, “Hmm, we could make up our own story. Maybe they’re happy just because they’re together?”

You looked over the picture again and you could suddenly see the picture moving, “Maybe they’re a family … maybe these are the Mom and Dad and maybe this is their baby,” Your fingers traced over the picture as Bucky listened to you speak. He liked the sound of your voice very much, especially now that you were relaxed and your mind was racing with pure thoughts, “Maybe the baby was lost for a little while and they found him … a-and they always go to the watering hole together so the baby never gets lost again.”

You felt Bucky place a gently kiss on your shoulder and you were surprised that you didn’t flinch. Not even a little bit. “That’s a beautiful story, angel,” You only nodded, feeling a tear drip down your cheek. Your lips parted in a look of shock as he wiped the tear away with his thumb.

“I’d never lose you, Y/N.”

For a fleeting moment, you believed him. 

+

Bucky added coloring to the list of things that you would probably never admit that you liked. You had colored a few more pictures and Bucky had proudly displayed them on the fridge. Now, he was seeing if you liked Disney movies. After her dinner and bath, he had set up the projector in the living room and created a cozy space for them on the couch. 

You waited patiently in your unicorn onesie and pigtails on the pile of blankets and stuffed animals.

Out of the most interesting DVD covers, you had picked Frozen from the pile. 

“How does the snowman talk?”

“Because of Elsa’s magic.”

“Why does he like summer so much if it’ll just make him melt?”

“That doesn’t mean he can’t like summer.”

“Is magic real?”

“I’ve seen some pretty magical things in my long lifetime.”

As much as the moving shapes and fun songs intrigued you, it baffled you at the same time. This is what people did for fun? They just sat around and let movies entertain them rather than working? You guessed that Bucky had lived long enough not to have to work anymore. 

After you had gone through both of the Frozen movies, Bucky decided that it was time for you to go to bed, “Can we watch another one? Please?” You grabbed his hand which took him back for a moment, “Daddy? I want to see more magic stuff.”

If Bucky got you into that bed then he’d wrap that magnetic cuff around your leg and you’d have no chance at escape.

Bucky believed you as you were a convincing liar. He should’ve known better, remembered your Hydra training, but he couldn’t deny your doe eyes at that moment. He sat back on the couch and let your head nuzzle into his chest, his right arm holding onto you. 

You knew how to slow your breathing and heart rate down and that’s exactly what you did as you pretended to sleep on his chest, “Goodnight, princess,” He whispered, stroking your hair.  As Lilo & Stitch reached its end, you felt Bucky’s head tilt back and some light snoring ensued. 

You waited until he was deeper into his sleep, to move his arm from around you. You were as careful as you could possibly be. 

You thought you’d fall but as you put one foot in front of the other, you managed to keep your balance. You were wobbly, of course, but you were walking. You held onto the back of the couch to keep your balance as you practiced for a short moment. 

You moved as quietly you could through the house as you mentally yelled at your legs to not give out. You looked over the front door, at the three locks that were on the door, and carefully undid each one. You took at least a minute on each one, trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. 

Your plan was perfect. I’d never lose you blah blah blah. He had some ulterior motive you couldn’t quite calculate yet but you knew there had to be a reason he was pretending to care for you. Everything was perfect until an alarm blared through the house and then through the forest that surrounded the house. 

You moved as quickly as you could without tripping over yourself. Down the porch and then towards the treeline. You almost jumped out of your skin as the sound of Archer’s barks filled the air. 

You cursed because your body wasn’t listening to you, “Y/N!” He called for you and your heart sunk. You turned to see he wasn’t even chasing you. He was far too strong and you were far too slow for that. 

As your knees suddenly buckled, you fell onto the grass, “Don’t touch me!” You shouted as you felt his arms grab ahold of your waist. He lifted you and tossed you over his shoulder without a word. You screamed for help as your fist pounded at the rock he called aback. 

He carried you back into the house, the scent of the evergreens still on your nose, as the front door slammed shut. He disabled the alarm before carrying you up the stairs. You weren’t surprised when he brought you to the room but your eyes widened as he tossed you onto the bed. 

He held you down with his vibranium arm as he wrapped those magnetic cuffs around each of your wrists, “Bucky, please. Please don’t hurt me-” 

“I’d never do that, Y/N. I could never do that,” His words were soft but his tone was anything but it. You had truly made him angry and something in your heart twinged as you heart the hurt in his voice, “But you have to be punished somehow. You can’t run away from me. I take care of you and you are obedient in return. That is the only way things will work around here.”

“Bucky-”

“Call me that one more time and you’ll make things worse,” Your mouth instantly closed as you heard his words. 

Bucky leaned down to undo the buttons at the crotch of your bodysuit and you flinched as he tore away the fabric of your underwear, “W-What are you going to do?” He didn’t answer as he grabbed a device that looked sort of like a wand. It was a bright pink color and mushroomed at the top. He used a belt to strap it to your thigh as he pushed it against your folds. 

As it began to vibrate, you threw your head back as your body reacted to the shock. If you thought the emotions you were feeling were foreign, this feeling was otherworldly. It felt strange… good. Your cheeks began to heat as you saw him watching you and you guessed this was another aspect of your punishment. 

You pulled at your restraints as electricity seemed to flow through you, warming your body with pleasure, before that heat seemed to build up in your core. You felt something coming like you might wet yourself, and you winced, “Don’t run from it, angel. It won’t hurt you,” And he was right because, as you tried to relax, it ripped through you. You shook as your body lept over that cliff and you exploded in ecstasy. 

Bucky could feel himself growing harder in his briefs as he listened to you moan uncontrollably. He looked away from you for a moment, trying to call himself down as he grabbed your pacifier gag from one of the lockable drawers, “Pl-Please-” You were still crying out in pleasure as he forced it into your mouth. 

You were done, your body had reached its climax but the stimulation continued. You watched as Bucky crossed the room, taking a seat in the rocking chair across the room. His arm was bent on his knee and his hand on his chin as he watched you. You shook your head over and over, wanting him to stop it but your body was beginning to prepare you for another climax.

How many could you have? How many would Bucky force out of you?

After number two you were writhing in that small bed, running from the next orgasm. As you moved your hips, it only pressed the vibrating toy closer to your sensitive bulb. Your screams were being muffled by your gag.

Just one break. If you could have just one break you’d be okay. Right now you weren’t sure how long you could stay conscious with that scorching fire inside of you burning on. You weren’t sure what happened after number five, you were so tired that your vision was blurry. Still, you felt Bucky’s hand against your cheek as you floated away into dreamland. 

+

“It’s only been a few days, Bucky.”

“I just thought I was making good progress today.”

“You were, I’m sure you were. She didn’t just forget the connection you’re building with her. Her instincts are still telling her to run, telling her that you are the enemy but soon ... you’ll be the one she runs to.”

Bucky sighed, holding the phone closer to his ear, “I really hope so.”

“My little Rory was just like her and, after I lost Vision, I didn’t think I could take his rejection at first. But I was all he had and I showed him that I was gonna be there for him whether he hated me for it or not. You just have to be there for her.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, “I’m just gonna be there for her, Wanda. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. You’re a great Daddy, Bucky,” He could hear her warm smile through the phone, “I can’t wait to meet your little angel. I’m sure she’s just as beautiful as you describe her.”

+

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! What sort of role do you hope Wanda plays in the story? Also, if you want to give me some extra support then you can buy me a coffee through the link in my bio :)

[smallfrost]

Motherland: Fort Salem. Musical analysis for Raelle and Scylla

It is no secret (unless you did not know that the Original Score for MFS exists and if you didn’t, it does and you should go listen immediately) that there is a track named Raelle & Scylla on the score. If you didn’t know that, then this is more interesting. More below the cut - in case you don’t care or don’t want to be spoiled.

The track “Raelle & Scylla” is the music that plays when Raelle and Scylla take Salva for the first time in the Pilot.

Still not over the cinematography here

In the majority of the Raelle and Scylla scenes that follow (typically ones that are Scylla emotionally conveying a message) this musical theme always plays. It is not exactly the same as the first time, but very clearly the same notes are played.

We hear it in Episode 2, when they are walking in the graveyard

You sexy weirdos

Episode 3 in Memorial Hall, when Scylla tells Raelle about her parents (for real)

Just hug her already, Raelle

Twice in Episode 4. First after Raelle leaves the infirmary and Scylla is relieved she is okay.

Fuck fuck fuck I fucked up = Scylla in this moment

Second after Beltane when Scylla admits she has feelings for Raelle.

They’re the same height but let’s just play smol and tol here for a sec

And in Episode 5, when Scylla gives Raelle her gift

Sexy Weird Palm DMs are the new snapchat

That’s this season SO FAR. But there’s more:

While everyone has probably guessed that next week during Salva training Raelle is going to be filled with grief over Scylla being missing, we can confirm this by turning to the Original Score. The track “Missing Salva” starts with this same thematic music, so for sure we will hear this theme at least once in Episode 6 and it will represent the heartbreak Raelle is feeling from Scylla [potentially] having been “killed”. When I first listened to the score after episode 1, this gave me chills that they so seamlessly conveyed this message with music.

Also in the score (MAJOR SPOILER) is a track called Scylla Revealed. While we probably all guessed this would happen eventually and the majority of this track is the sound of the Spree, the last few seconds are… Raelle & Scylla’s musical theme. Again, I got actual chills when I first heard this 4 weeks ago, knowing nothing about what was going to happen. Because of this, I’m guessing Raelle will witness either Scylla revealing herself with fire or her carrying out some sort of Spree order (I would love the former) as opposed to being told by Tally or Anacostia. 

I’m so excited about the depth of this show and the little details they put in. I’m going to keep track of every scene where I hear this theme and I’m guessing it will reveal some foreshadowing in hindsight after the end of the season.

---

EDIT:  An update following Episode 6, Up is Down

As predicted we were gifted with the beauty of “Missing Salva” this episode but this was not the only time we heard Raelle and Scylla’s Musical theme this week. In fact, we heard it three times - what appears to be a record for number of appearances in an episode.

The first time we hear it is during Salva training on base. This is actually the original Raelle & Scylla track from the original score but slightly more raw towards the beginning

*Sings* So you think you can flyyyyy

The second is extremely subtle but the theme plays when Scylla contacts Raelle, interlaced with music that conveys hope

The only time giving your S.O. a rash is sexy and appreciated

And finally, the third time is our “Missing Salva” track. Beautiful, heartbreaking, chill giving. But also; drugs are never the answer, kids. Remember, you are important, you are beautiful, don’t push away the ones who love you. They will be your wings to help you soar.

Yep, right there. That’s the spot

Until next week...

--

EDIT:  An update following Episode 7, Mother Mycelium

Is everyone okay after this episode? I’m pretty sure I’m still dead (no captions for these, they all caused to much pain). Another beautiful and heart breaking week - let’s go over our theme moments. This week brought us the next big track containing the theme: Scylla Revealed. Like last week, we get to hear the Theme three times even though our girls are apart; further solidifying their connection.

The first time the tune graces our ears is when Raelle is looking up at Scylla’s room. Everywhere she looks she sees (and hears) Scylla. This version is slow and depressing and makes it seem like Raelle is really starting to believe Scylla might actually be dead.

The second is during their reunion in the dungeon when Raelle finally says, “I love you”

And the third, as expected, comprised the ending of Scylla Revealed

Seeing Raelle made Scylla’s mind vulnerable and cracked her open (like an egg). All Scylla can think about now is Raelle, even after she has just been forced to reveal her most terrible secrets about herself. This pain we see here is not that Scylla’s mind betrayed the Spree, it’s that she lost Raelle in the process.

This is the last score track that contains Raylla’s theme. Perhaps we will hear Scylla Revealed again when Raelle discovers the truth? But I can guarantee this isn’t the last time we’ll hear our tune.

--

EDIT - An update following Episode 8, Citydrop

Raelle is reeling after discovering both that Scylla is alive but also may be a member of the Spree and it shows in their music this episode. After rewatching, I only detected their theme once, and barely. When Raelle is remembering their reunion, the theme is ever so subtly hinted at. In fact, I would argue it doesn’t even get the chance to be fully realized. 

I really think this is the only time we even remotely hear it in this episode. And even here it is not obvious at all, and I think is indicating the emergence of Raelle’s doubts about how much she truly knows about Scylla. We know by the end of the episode Raelle is really beginning to question what is real and what isn’t. But we will definitely get it again in Episode 9 as more truths and feelings are revealed. 

--

EDIT:  An update following Episode 9, Coup

The pain is real this episode and we hear Raelle and Scylla’s theme three times, though technically two of these three are in the same scene. Specifically, when Raelle goes to see Scylla one last time in the dungeon, their theme book-ends their reunion but in two different tones.

At first, it is soft but laced with sadness. Reflecting the pain of Raelle and the sadness of Scylla for realizing Raelle may be lost to her.

But at the end, it becomes harsher and more dissonant as Scylla pleads for Raelle to know her love is real. That she chose her over everything else. They are both raw, just like their music. 

And the third time is by their tree, when Raelle admits that she is still in love with Scylla. Here is it deeper and resonates. And it lifts up just as Anacostia tells Raelle Scylla’s love is real. Just a bit at the end but just like in the first scene when their feet leave the ground after taking Salva. It’s laced with hope and Anacostia’s words fill Raelle’s heart with hope. 

One more episode left....

--

EDIT:  An update following Episode 10, Witchbomb 

HOLY. SHIT. Well that was an epic finale. So much happened. With Raelle and the unit being immediately deployed, and Scylla still in the Dungeon, there was no time for goodbyes for our Necro and Healer. To be honest, I was really nervous that Raelle & Scylla’s theme was completely absent from the finale. But our faith can be renewed because Raylla’s theme does indeed make a small appearance making it 10/10 episode wise this season. 

Now when Raelle pleads with Anacostia to have the military go easy on Scylla,  that she’s not all bad - I listened to that scene so many times, side by side with others and I can’t confidently say that the Raylla theme was used in any capacity. That being said, I also can’t say that it isn’t there in the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure most of the music in the scene with Anacostia, Raelle, and Tally is more closely related to the Blue Rose Friendship theme but it is possible the Raylla theme is interlaced ever so slightly while Raelle is talking to Anacostia about Scylla... but I’m not calling it completely due to lack of confidence. 

Where I am more confident in the appearance of the theme is when Anacostia sets Scylla free and tells her to hold on to the part of her that’s good. The music is bare bones minimal and only during this exact moment. It’s just the core notes that drive the theme home but they are stripped and bare and it makes complete sense because Scylla has lost so much, perhaps even lost Raelle, but what she does have left is the goodness that Raelle instilled in her. And she still has her love for Raelle. 

So Raelle and Scylla may be in limbo relationship wise, but the love is real and the part of Scylla that’s good is Raelle. otp: No matter what happens.

Until next season...

[husbandograveyard]

Hi! For the cliche box opening- Marco and fem reader, 21?

Hiya! Some of that gorgeous phoenix man coming right up! I don’t know why he’s getting more and more popular but daaanggg I am all here for it, he really is one of those slightly perfect men, pineapple andall! I hope you enjoy this dear!! 

This is a setup - Marco x Reader 

Cliche with Bae prompt #21: Blind date set up by friends  Character: Marco - Word Count: 1.9k 

You never really thought about dates and such. As a pirate, you had better things to do than occupy your mind with romance. You had the occasional crush, the occasional fling when docked on an island. Usually never something serious. You have had some crushes on your crewmates too, but never really acted on it. It’d feel a little weird. 

Right now the object of your crushing was your ship’s doctor and commander of the first division, Marco the Phoenix. His soft and gentle demeanor, combined with his strength, determination, and leadership skills made it hard to not fall for him. And well, you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t extremely good looking. His reading glasses being the cherry on top, a sight you were seeing more and more often lately. 

Whitebeard had appointed you Marco’s assistant, mostly since you were one of the more gentle, calculated and precise people on board. Ideal to assist the doctor with his herbs and medicines, since you made no mistakes. And well, spending long days and sleepless nights with him, preparing herbs, labeling medicine and just generally assisting him in the infirmary, sometimes even taking over command over the nurses whenever commander duties called him, surely had made you appreciate him even more. 

A crush was just that, and you didn’t want it all interrupting your duties. But it was nice to have someone to daydream about whenever there was a silent moment and your actual dreams were bringing you much joy, glad to wake up with the prospect of spending time with the one person that kept visiting in your dreams. But you kept to dreaming and dreaming alone, it was not worth trying, besides, there was not even the slightest indication of any mutual pining. No way you were going to ruin your favorite job on the ship so far just for the sake of a possible relationship. 

After a party on the Moby dick, you had been slightly intoxicated, you had confided in Ace about having a crush when he asked you something about the guy you left behind some islands ago. You had forgotten about him and had explained to Ace how you preferred short flings for the duration of the stay on an island, and in the meantime, you’d enjoy your crushes on the ship.

It had been a terrible idea to tell him because this man was so damn curious about your crush, he kept bothering you, even if the alcohol had no more influence after the party ended, just kept on bothering you for days on end. You kept explaining you preferred to not get involved with someone on the crew and put a real emphasis on the fact that nothing should be one-sided. After a while, they stopped bugging you. At least that is what it seemed like. 

When you were about to dock at the new island, you were hanging out with Izo on deck. He too was now aware of the little situation going on with Marco, but compared to Thatch and Ace, went a lot more subtle about the whole ordeal. “So, y/n, are you going to find some other fling here too, or is your mind a little too pre-occupied?” “I don’t know”, you answered truthfully, “I guess I wouldn’t mind something to distract my brain for a little bit. I’ve never had a crush last this long.” Izo hummed. “Well, I do know some people on this island? How about I find you a nice man, and arrange a date? Kind of a blind date thing? I promise I won’t set you up with some kind of weirdo. Just… to distract the brain, and that way you won’t have to go through a batch of well willing guys that are not worth your time.” 

You thought it over for a bit, the offer didn’t seem that bad. Worst case scenario you just had a bad date, but the chances of having a bad date were just as big if you went out and looked for someone by yourself. Besides, you did trust Izo and his judgment, so the date couldn’t possibly that bad. “You know what? Sure. One blind date. The second night we’re at the island so you have time to convince someone to do a blind date thing.” You laughed and Izo nodded in response. “Consider it done~ I’ll figure out the details with him and let you know as soon as I’ve met up and set it up.” “Perfect.” 

As promised, the next day Izo gave you the time and place of a small restaurant pretty close to the harbor. “No need to dress up too fancy, I told him it was very casual. That way you can see for yourself whether you want to hook up or just have a fun evening.” You thanked him for his consideration. You were feeling a little bad, something you had never done when going onto a date of any kind. It was not even like you never had done a blind date before. You looked over at the closed door of Marco’s cabin and felt a little pang in your heart. You shook your head, there was no way that was going to work out, so might as well make the best of it tonight. 

You spent most of the day distracting yourself with your chores, even taking on extra ones to make time pass faster. And it worked very well, you nearly forgot about the excitement of the evening when Ace asked you why you were still on the ship. You had completely lost track of time. Good thing the date didn’t require dressing up nicely, you just changed into the first clean set of clothes you could find inside your cabin, and then sprinted your way to the restaurant. You remembered Izo’s words, the first row of tables to the right in the corner, he had booked it for the date so you definitely wouldn’t miss it and sit by the wrong person. 

You walked the final feet to the restaurant, not wanting to arrive all out of breath. You were only a couple of minutes too late. It was embarrassing, but not too bad. Maybe your date was a little late too and you could both laugh about it. You walked in, turned to the right, looked at the corner… and frowned. The table was taken already, a familiar face looking surprised before smiling and waving you over. You reluctantly walked up there, and with every step you took, the realization sank in: Izo had been part of a set-up. You’d strangle him the moment you got back. 

“Hey Marco” You smiled as you sat down, the doctor smiling back at you. “Did you know..?” “No, y/n”, he laughed, “I’m afraid we both are victims of a set-up”. You nodded. “Well, we might as well make the best out of it?” “That seems like a plan, nice food in great company sounds like an ideal date to me- yoi” he winked at you as he said that, and you couldn’t stop your cheeks from heating up a little. 

You ordered drinks and food, and once you got over the initial awkwardness and the fact that you both had drastically been set up by your friends and crewmembers, the conversation started flowing. Starting off with things about the ship and such, since that’s what you always talked about when you were working together, but slowly evolving to more personal conversations, such as your pasts, your dreams, your goals, your hopes, and aspirations. It all seemed to flow so easily and you were just having so much fun. 

Marco was not only an amazing date to have deep conversations with, he was also a true gentleman and incredibly funny. You could almost feel your crush grow into something more right at that very dinner table. Or at least, the denial that it was nothing more than a crush was about to get thrown overboard. You were head over heels and that was not part of the battle plan. You were surprised to get kicked out of the restaurant hours later because neither of you had noticed just how long you had been talking, keeping up the waiters and such. 

The cold evening air hit your skin and you shivered. Before you could even move your hands up to rub your arms, you felt the fabric of his jacket being draped over your shoulders. You wanted to swoon right then and there. Why was he so damn perfect. “Aren’t you gonna get cold?” “I am a literal firebird, y/n, I don’t get cold that easily-yoi” You chuckled and wrapped the jacket around you a little more tightly, instantly warming up a little as you started to walk back to the Moby Dick. 

“What are we going to tell them when we get back?” “I don’t know… I actually had a pleasant night, I wouldn’t mind going for another date” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Are you serious.” “Yes, I mean it. I have to admit, I’ve had a little thing for you ever since we started working together, but I didn’t want you to feel forced, or uncomfortable. I am your commander after all-yoi” “You’re kidding me” “No, I am not. I’m pretty sure the guys set me up on this blind date cause they knew and they were kind of annoying me to say something about it.”

You had to stop yourself from facepalming. “They set us both up worse than you think.” Marco tilted his head to the side and gave you a questioning look. “I have been crushing on you for weeks on end. I didn’t want to say something because I didn’t want to make things weird, and they offered me a date to give my mind some peace and quiet and possibly distract from you. They all knew about it.” Marco laughed out loud. “Then maybe it’s the two of us that are the fools.” “Maybe….can’t believe those three actually did a serious thing” you laughed a little, the noise dying out as you noticed Marco stepping closer to you. 

“How about we let them think they failed for a bit? Just until they’ve learned their lesson?” You nodded. “Well, does that mean I can’t hang out with you?” “Of course not. We work together, you have no choice,” he smiled, “and behind closed doors, we can do whatever. Only for a few days, just to make them feel a little bad.” He smiled as he took a final step in your direction, taking one of your hands and pulling you even closer. You could only breathlessly nod at his plan, too busy staring in his eyes to give a decent answer. “Then, before we get back… With your permission?” He leaned in close, still careful to not make you feel too uncomfortable, patient yet eager. You felt your heart swell at how considerate he was, and closed the gap, kissing him eagerly. 

The cold was temporarily forgotten, as well as the fact that you were in the middle of the street in the middle of the night, probably looking at least a little bit suspicious. You gave him a quick peck on the lips to seal the previous kiss right before you pulled away, giving him back his jacket. “An unsuccessful date doesn’t end in wearing each other’s clothes” you smiled. Marco put it back on, smiling back at you before you both started walking again towards to the ship. “Let’s not pretend for too long though, I don’t think I’ll always be able to wait for us to be alone after that kiss.”

[neighbourskid]

2020

What a year, huh? Surely not anything anyone has expected to happen when we woke up on this day a year ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m not even sure, now, where to begin to sum up this year like I’ve done years prior. But then again... I may just as well just dive right into all the media I consumed this year, as I have done every year. I haven’t kept track as detailed as I have last year, but my year was definitely punctuated by pieces of entertainment that have come into my life.

Continuing on from 2019, my obsession with Good Omens was still going strong. Which was ideal, since I was gonna spend the first half of the year writing my Bachelor thesis on it. The intensity of the obsession may have waned a bit since, but I still love that show and book dearly and hold it close to my heart, and I don’t think that will ever stop. But while Good Omens was certainly an overall theme throughout my year, there were some other things that actually stood out.

With January came new episodes of Doctor Who, and having returned to that particular bandwagon the year prior, I was all about that. Jodie’s second season finally brought what I had longed for in her first--a darker kind of Doctor. She wasn’t quite as bubbly anymore, you could finally see some of the depths in the character that I loved so in the previous regenerations, which made me love Peter’s Doctor so incredibly much. In this season, I felt, Jodie was finally becoming the Doctor. Overall, that season catered to me personally every single episode. So many of the time periods they visited were of people I loved, and the introduction of Sacha Dhawan as the Master was absolutely....well, masterful. Sacha is brilliant in that role and I am utterly stunned by his talent. Although both John Simm and Michelle Gomez brought things to the Master that I liked, it’s Sacha’s completely unhinged take on it that made me finally like the character. He’s a madman and I love it.

The next major thing was The Good Place. I tend to have a talent of getting into shows just as they either ended their entire show, or the final season is just coming up. It’s happened quite a bit, and it was the same with this. I finally binged the show early in January and it would end its final season at the end of the month. True to form, I was completely obsessed with it for about a month, before I only occasionally thought about it again. But, thinking back now, I get this incredibly fond feeling for this show, and I remember that the finale absolutely wrecked me and I basically ugly sobbed through the entirety of it. Also very true to form, actually. I want to rewatch it again some time, but honestly preferably with someone who has never seen it before. Which, obviously, is a difficult thing to do given, well, everything.

Next up is something that surprised me a lot. In the middle of having to write my BA thesis, my procrastination thought it would be a great idea to rewatch and catch up on the entirety of Criminal Minds. And so I binged 15 seasons of that instead of writing my thesis. Which, coincidentally, had also just aired its final season not long before I started my binge in March. Rewatching this, I realised just how little I took in of the actual, like, stuff in the show when I first watched it as a teen. Although I mostly cared about the characters and their found family this time around--although I do find the cases really fascinating most of the time too--I noticed just how much I am not watching this for the fact that they are in the FBI. I was hyperaware of how often they shot at people before doing anything else, how many of the suspects died before ever being questioned or being brought in, and it made my skin crawl. I am aware how fucked up the criminal justice system is, and especially in the US, how the police functions and how incredibly glorified they are in the media. But rewatching this show, I realised how little I actually paid attention to anything when I was younger. Big yikes. Still, I remembered my love for these characters, and I really enjoyed that rewatch a whole lot. Found family will always get to me.

Once I finished writing my thesis and handed it in early in July, I then found my next momentary obsession: Community. The show had finally come to Netflix earlier in the year and a friend of mine had watched it then. I remember watching that pilot episode back then and being completely uninterested in watching it. The comedy felt like it wasn’t quite up my street, the characters were entirely unlikeable, and I especially disliked Jeff who the show was more or less centred around. I binged Criminal Minds instead, but then decided to give it another try. And, well, I watched it twice through without taking a break to watch something else in-between. Ironically, and maybe actually unsurprisingly, Jeff ended up being my favourite and I found myself relating a lot to him and his arc throughout the series. I even found myself writing some short ficlet-like things in the notes app on my phone. I made an attempt at starting a third watch, but I guess then the month was up, and my brain decided it was time for something else. My hyperfixations usually tend to die out after about a month. Which is why my complete devotion to Good Omens was a pleasant surprise. I did, however, end up watching quite a bit of Joel McHale and Ken Jeong’s The Darkest Timeline podcast throughout August. 

Early in September, while already preparing for the new term at uni, and my first semester in my Master’s studies, I then turned to New Girl. Friends of mine had seen it and recommended it, and I remember watching probably the entire first season on TV while I was in San Diego the first time around back in 2016. Or at least I think it was the entire first season. Either way, I binged that whole thing, realised through Nick Miller that the go-to character I am drawn to and tend to project on in any piece of media is usually what I like to call “the garbage man,” which Nick is a prime example of. And although I spent a month watching the show in-between starting university again and volunteering at a film festival, I didn’t spend much time afterward thinking about it and moved on to other things rather quickly. I enjoyed watching it, that much I remember, and I’m pretty sure I cried at the finale because it was done wonderfully, but seeing as another month was up, my brain was probably like “okay fine that’s enough”.

I then spent most of fall and early winter watching every single bad Christmas movie available on Netflix, which was quite fun. In that moment of festivity, I also watched a movie I found absolutely brilliant and fell in love with immediately. It’s a beautiful movie called Jingle Jangle, it has a magnificent soundtrack and is absolutely incredible. I had no idea Forest Whitaker could sing and he completely blew me away. If you haven’t seen it already, I highly recommend it. It doesn’t matter that Christmas is already over, it’s beautiful either way.

By the time December finally rolled around, I was already over the whole Christmas thing, to be honest and I turned away from festive movies or shows, and eventually ended up finally picking up a gem I had heard much about and had been meaning to watch for a while. A show which, as it were, also aired its final season earlier this year. This little show is Schitt’s Creek. I will be going on about what this show means to me probably in another post at length, but for now just let me say: if you haven’t seen it, find some place to watch it, and put this beautiful show in your eyeballs. I am on my second run through already (although I’ve seen the second half of the show a second time already while watching it with a friend on their first run through), and it brings me so much fucking joy. It’s a gift, this show. And it will likely stay with me for a very, very long time.

That’s about it for the big things. I also watched a whole lot of other stuff, including entirely new things, or just newly released seasons of things I was already watching. Here’s what I can remember off the top of my head:

Charlie’s Angels (2020). The Night Manager. The Witcher. Dolittle (2020). The Librarians (rewatch). Harley Quinn (2020). Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The Chef Show (S1 part 3, S2 part 1). Avenue 5. Money Heist (part 4). The Good Fight (S4). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S7). DuckTales (2017 reboot). Frankenstein live. Staged (2020). Hamilton. Sense8. Julie and the Phantoms. The Boys in the Band. One Night in Miami. Enola Holmes. Supernova. His Dark Materials (S2). Happiest Season. The Great Canadian Baking Show.

I also got some reading done in-between what I had to read for my thesis in spring, and then for regular university courses in fall. Here’s some of what I can remember:

Anthony Horowitz, The House of Silk. Ramona Meisel, Sunblind. Donna Tartt, The Secret History. Good Omens novel and script book. Matt Forbeck, Leverage: The Con Job. Keith R.A. Decandido, Leverage: The Zoo Job. Greg Cox, Leverage: The Bestseller Job. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Lost Lamp. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Mother Goose Chase. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Pot of Gold. Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602. Christina Henry, The Lost Boy. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology. John Green, An Abundance of Katherines. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh. Maria Konnikova, The Confidence Game. 

Having mulled over all this entertainment I consumed in 2020, there are also some non-tv or book things I need to point out. As many, many other people around the globe, I have also spent a large amount of time this year on my Nintendo Switch, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It is a game I have waited for since the Switch was first announced, and I fell in love with it from the moment the first trailer dropped. It has brought me great joy in this weird fucking year, and I have more or less consistently played it since it came out in March. I ended this year with the in-game New Year’s Eve celebration and I feel like that summed up this year quite neatly and appropriately.

This year also brought with it another game very close to my heart: Super Mario Sunshine. With their release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars in September, Nintendo finally brought my all-time favourite Mario game to my all-time favourite console, and I played the entire game through in the first week of owning it, in-between university courses and volunteering at the film festival. Also contained in that package was Super Mario Galaxy which I have also played through in its entirety since. All that’s left for me now is Super Mario 64, which I am excited to play through in the coming year.

And to round off my year of entertainment, there are two more things I would like to mention. First, David Tennant Does A Podcast With..., which released its second season this summer. It is one of the only, if not the only podcast I keep up to date with and listen to immediately whenever a new episode drops. I’ve loved the first season dearly, and David came back with some incredibly fantastic guests for the second season as well. I can’t wait for what the podcast will bring in the future, but I will wait patiently until it is time. I can highly recommend it for everyone who likes interesting conversations between lovely people who clearly adore each other a whole lot.

And finally, while this year brought a whole lot of bullshit with it, it also gave me something I never thought possible and did not even dare to imagine in my wildest dreams. My all-time favourite show announced that it would be rebooted with the same main cast (minus one), a new wonderful member, and involvement of the original creators, and even started filming already in summer. Leverage is coming back. I still cannot believe it. I hoped for a movie, always. That maybe one day, they might bring the gang back together, for one last job, just one more encore. But to get a whole new tv-show with Aldis, Christian, Gina and Beth returning? With the addition of Noah Wyle? I can’t wrap my head around it. I am so excited for this. I predict that I will ugly sob through the entirety of the pilot episode, if not the first season, and will have to rewatch every episode because of it, but I have no doubt that it will be brilliant and wonderful.

True to form, I have now gone on about tv shows and movies for far too long, and haven’t really said anything about this year at all. 2020 was fucking weird. And I don’t think 2021 will be much different quite yet. I wrote an entire BA thesis in 2020. I successfully finished by Bachelor’s degree and started my Master’s studies and even got some excellent first grades in as well. I was lucky enough to be able to see some friends and family throughout the year, and even celebrate my birthday with a small circle of friends. I’ve become closer with friends, shared experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and, I think, maybe also grown a bit as a person.

I started this year excited to finally be able to start taking testosterone in February, and to finish the first part of my studies by summer. Although I did both of these things, they didn’t happen quite how I imagined them, but I am glad that I could do these things nevertheless.

2020 was a hell year, for sure. But there were some moments in there that I wouldn’t want to lose.

I’ve tried very hard to not be optimistic about this upcoming year, and rather take a more realistic, even pessimistic approach. But I can’t help but be hopeful. Hopeful that this year will be kind to us, and if it isn’t, that at least, we’ll be kind to ourselves and each other. It won’t be easy, and not much will change, I think. But we have to approach the coming time with kindness and compassion. That’s where I’m at currently. And I think that’s all for now.

Be well, friends, and take care.

[craftypeaceturtle]

Sanders Sides Fic Rec

As a heads up! It’ll be very obvious that I prefer Virgil angst and so there will be a definite bias. Just a heads up! All of these will be on AO3 because... it’s the best haha! Also, I’ve only just noticed that a lot of these aren’t necessarily shippy but hey ho! Anyway, here we go! 

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What Students Teach- mt_reade, 4,000 words.

Hello! My name is Thomas Sanders, and I just finished my first year as a teacher.

I taught a grade one class this year, at a relatively small school. I’ve known that I wanted to be a teacher since I was young, and babysat for the first time. I just love kids so much, and I remembered how much my teachers had an influence on me growing up. I wanted to be able to do that for others. I’ve known for a long time that teaching is the right job for me.

But, what I didn’t know, is that the teaching goes both ways, and the lessons that my students have taught me this year are more valuable than any of the things that I taught them. I’m writing this now to share with anyone who reads this, just precious few of the things that my students teach me.

(I came across this recently but I just love how simple and sweet this idea is! I love how they characterised all the sides in the perspective of children, especially Remus. I feel like it would be easy to write as absolutely ridiculous but he feels still realistic while still being very much Remus!).

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I'll Stay Awake (cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight) - starlocked, 2,000 words, Anxceitmus

Virgil doesn't get to meet his soulmates each night. No, he has nightmares. His roommate decides to stage an intervention.

(I just love this take on the soulmate idea of meeting up in your dreams. I also like that it was no one’s true fault. It would’ve been easy to say that it was all Deceit’s and Remus’ fault for being terrifying but it’s more nuanced than that! There’s not a lot of shippy-ness but it’s still a soulmate au so there we go!)

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(don’t) take this the wrong way- delimeful, unfinished, 7,000 words.

Local shark mer Roman finds a tiny mermaid tangled up in a net in his territory, and enlists his siren friend Patton's help to find a way to free the little guy. Unfortunately for Logan, they end up 'borrowing' a human to assist them in untangling the net. Virgil just wants to get out of this nightmare of a situation.

(Maybe I’m just a sucker for merpeople aus, but this is such a good story immediately. Instantly engaging and I’m keeping an eye on it for any new updates. I may also just be a sucker for misunderstandings which is the main conflict so far haha!)

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Centaur AU- KieraElieson, unfinished, 10,000 words

Thomas is hired as a centaur groom very abruptly, and is just a little bit lost, but trying his best.

However, when you think of centaurs more as people with animal-like bodies, and everyone else thinks of them as animals with human-like bodies, disagreements are bound to come up.

(So far it’s pretty much setting up the context and characters but it’s done so effectively! The trauma of the characters is handled so well, hinted at and clearly effecting their behaviour, but not so obvious that you immediately know what’s happened to them. Despite being tagged as ambiguous time period, you don’t even really question when the story is set! It quickly grabs your attention and you focus on the story more than any tiny ambiguous details.)

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No Longer Alone- Amydiddle, 3,000 words

Anxiety has been living in the basement of Thomas' mind space for almost two years now. A place were all the host's darkness resides. The small side has learned how to take care of himself and how to avoid the sides whenever he goes upstairs.

Tonight's midnight food run goes a bit differently.

(I am so weak for stories about how all the sides formed and first interacted! I think I just fell in love with this concept! Simple but such an interesting fun read!)

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The Worst Thing in the World- Arwriter, 6,000 words

Everyone knows Virgil needs to be handled a little differently. He might not like it, but that’s the way it is, and living with the light sides won’t change that. After all, it’s common sense.

Right?

(The first part in a slowly expanding series, the entire series is sooo good so if you like this one then definitely continue reading! It’s such a well written look into their lives, how they handle conflicts and grief. I love Virgil angst where the others get a look into his previous life, no matter how small and sad that look is.)

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tales of reverie- cattonsanders, 40,000 words, offscreen Logince. 

Roman loves to read bedtime stories to his kids (even if Virgil says he’s grown out of them), but soon Patton and Virgil discover that the story book their dad has been reading to them is actually a portal to the very kingdom they’ve been told about- not only that, but their dad is the prince!

What else will they find as they venture deeper into this new world they’ve found themselves in, and what other, much darker secrets are being kept from them?

(SUCH A CREATIVE IDEA! I love how the plot always kept me guessing but never in a way that felt cheap or misplaced. Characters were introduced and you were left piecing it all together to figure out if they were trustworthy, which is what the main characters are also doing! Will always recommend)

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Caught Red Handed- Wholesomereader, 20,000 words

Virgil doesn't like his dad, runs away, and 'accidentally' steals from a local bakery.

Then, the owner of said bakery hires him.

He's in so much shit.

(I love how this is paced and written out. There’s a lot of themes and relationships being built but it still feels easy to keep track of everything and nothing feels swept to the side or neglected.)

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Slither Into Your Heart- Jungle321jungle, 6,000 words, unfinished, Anxceit

Deceit didn’t bother to knock as he slammed the door open and glared down to where Remus sat on his bed polishing his morning star. 

“What did you do?” Deceit hissed. 

Remus gave him a large smile as he looked him up or down, “Do you have the snakes just up there or are they down below too?”

If asked by Patton later, Deceit most definitely did not try to strangle the other side in that moment. Not all.

~~~~

Also known as:

Deceit is turned into a Gorgon.  And the new annoying little snakes on his head seem to have an annoying obsession with Virgil.

(Amazing idea, amazing writing, sweet scenes and just! It’s just a nice read! I love how they write Deceit to be this cool tough persona but also named all his new snakes!)

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Wings of Anxiety- ShadeCrawler, 7,000 words

Virgil normally kept his wings pressed tight against his back. He never let them out to stretch when he was outside his room. Yes, they got sore after a little while and yes, it rustled his feathers to the point that it took forever to groom them.

But, he couldn’t take them out. He just couldn’t. Dark Sides didn’t have wings. Only Light Sides did.

(Love me some Virgil angst, add in some wings and I’m in! I also love this idea that Virgil was supposed to be a light side all along but circumstances weren’t as fair. Strong self hatred to make a compelling story! Just yes!)

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This isn’t what I wanted, but I’ll take it- Simpleton_Cat, 17,000 words, unfinished.

Thomas didn't think he would ever get pets, much less a cat. But here he was, having four cats, Logan, Patton, Roman, and Remus. And then Remus (God, please exorcise the demon that is most definitely in his cat body) brings home two more and then suddenly he's back at the Vet.

Or in other words: Everyone is a cat and Thomas is their owner.

(Again, such a cool idea! I love how this new context for the characters allow for so many new ideas and characterisations. I love Deceit and Virgil’s relationship and how that has shaped, especially how Deceit’s link to lying is written!)

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Changing Tides- LadyoftheWoods, 6,000 words.

Virgil ends up overboard of his father's boat during a storm, and expects to drown in the sea. Instead he is rescued by merpeople, in more ways than one.

(Virgil angst plus merpeople- well hello! I love the slowly forming family relationship between the characters. I also love how Virgil reacts to finding out merpeople exist, feels genuine but not too drawn out.)

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A Fanciful Dream- AceDetective, 20,000 words, Prinxiety 

Virgil could say with certainty that he was no prince. Found by King Thomas’ chef, lost and with no memory of who he was, Virgil spent his childhood running errands in the halls of the castle. When a young King visits and claims Virgil is his brother, Virgil must determine if this is truth or a young King’s hopeful dream.

(While this is very fast paced, everything feels justified and well explained. The confusion between both Virgil and his brother feels so genuine and well written. The quiet slow reaching out makes sense for the both of them!)

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Ten Things- LostyK, 30,000 words, unfinished, Anxceit, Royality

When Roman Prince learns that Patton Foster isn’t allowed to date until his older brother, Virgil, is, Roman is crushed. Roman’s twin brother Remus, however, comes up with a plan: find someone who is willing to date Virgil.

And who better to ask than Janus Verona, who according to rumours is willing to do anything for the right price?

(This is one where I kept a close eye to see if it updates, while a silly idea, it’s so well  written! I love how Deceit is written as slowly caring and falling in love while still maintaining his persona, just like Virgil! I also love how Virgil is characterised as his usual anxious self but a bit more persona based like before accepting anxiety) 

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You Can Picani Family You Want- DramaticGarbage, 20,000 words, Analogical, Royality.

Emile finds himself in charge of two small boys who need somewhere to go. It’s going to be a learning curve for everyone.

(If you love found family stuff then this is it! It’s a series of oneshots about different parts in their lives but I love the themes and how the characters progress through each moment. It’s so sweet and rewarding. Plus it has big boi Roman which is always a plus!)

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Fatherly Sides- Bright_Sea, 60,000 words, Moceit

There are good and bad days when it comes to being a father. Deceit and Patton learn all about it while raising their four boys.

(Similar to the one above, lots of found family sweet moments all connected by the larger plots and themes. The angst of the larger plot is given the seriousness and gravity that it deserves. I love how trauma is talked about and dealt with in a healthy manner. Everything feels so genuine and realistic!)

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Colors- Badgermole, 49,000 words (21 works), Logicality.

A collection of stories where Logan is a young Virgil's dad. Virgil happens to be autistic and has a fascination with colors. Unless otherwise stated: Virgil is aged around early elementary school age with Roman 2 years older.

(Again, with the sweet family moments with minimal angst! I don’t have autism so I can't say whether it’s realistic or not but it’s very well written and covers a lot of autistic themes and everyday life. Actually, read pretty much everything by badgermole as their writing is so good and they tackle a lot of disabled issues!)

*

Powerless- patentpending, 187,000 words, Logicality, Prinxiety.

“People like us,” Logan had once remarked to Virgil. “Are statistical anomalies.”

(Almost)  Everyone in the world has powers.  As for those who don’t, well, they’re such a small part of the population - only 0.04% - why would anyone care about them?

Ever since he realized what people mean when they call him Powerless, Virgil Sanders has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan.  When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps.  With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society.  The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most Powerful (and infuriatingly charming) superhero: The Prince, who is hiding the fact that his gilded life isn’t as perfect as it may seem.

(So well written! While fast paced, everything feels so well balanced. Main characters and their plots balanced with new OCs that don’t feel too much and justified in being there. The plot kept me guessing while still feeling justified and interesting.)

*

Grounded- InstantFire, 18,000 words

No matter your age, punishments are no fun. Despite being no fun, would you be willing to do anything to avoid said punishment?

(I don't know what it is about this piece but it's just sooo good! I’ve reread it so many times, it just won’t leave my mind! I love how it’s carefully written where we don’t quite exactly know what the misunderstanding is until it’s stated out loud for all the characters. Maybe I just have a weakness for Virgil angst and misunderstandings but so worth a read!)

*

Snow Day- RandomSlasher, 8,000 words

Every year, the sides go to Roman’s realm and spend a few days enjoying the snow. Well…most of the sides. Set pre-Accepting Anxiety.

(SOOOO GOOD! The found family is so well written. Actually, while this is the only mention of Random Slasher because I don’t want this to be too long, read everything and anything by Random Slasher. So well written with some amazing ideas.)

*

Looking for the Light- OreoButter, 30,000 words

Remus, Deceit and Virgil Dark are Brothers. They had an awful home and now are in the foster system. After being passed from family to family they finally end up with Thomas. Remus is gross, Deceit is a compulsive lier and Virgil has crippling anxiety. Virgil will do anything to protect his brothers, at any cost. The family of three will have to face trial and the truth as they search for the light.

(I absolutely love found family if you couldn’t guess already! But I love how they wrote the sibling relationship between the dark sides, feels so genuine and justified. There is shipping but it feels more like a side plot so!)

*

Sightless- riverblujay, 9,000 words

Virgil is blind. It's not a big deal though, right? But he hides it, because if the other sides knew they would push him away again. And besides, he's pretty good at faking being sighted...

And the other sides are also more observant than he realizes.

(Again, this is another fic that I keep returning to! Also, I’m not blind or have any partial sight so I can't so whether this is realistic but the conflict and comfort feels so genuine and justified.)

*

The Black Hole Group Chat- Greenninjagal, 26,000 words, LAMP.

Cat_feelings: [I just have a lot of feelings for you Logan]

Anxi_Tea: [platonic?]

Cat_feelings: [does it matter?]

Anxi_Tea: [you’ve known him for twenty five minutes.]

*** aka a text fic where Logan texts the wrong number and everything goes downhill from there.

(I know text fics can be a little hit or miss but the chemistry feels so real and fun. The characters are still very much themselves, a lot of text fics can feel out of character. I also adore the fact that Virgil is mute so the fic has a reason for why the group chat is used despite them all meeting in person. So good, will always recommend!)

*

April Fool’s- feduphufflepuff, 5,000 words

This is Virgil's first April Fool's Day with the FamILY, and he has no idea what to expect.

(Love me some Virgil angst and misunderstandings so here ya go! The found family vibes and the comfort and just ah! So good, just go read!)

*

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell. First, I actually appreciated the foreward to the “Left Book Club” copy, even though it says that anyone who is not a member should disregard it. It gave an interesting rebuttal to parts of the book. That aside, I’m not totally sure what to make of the book. On the level of descriptive writing, I rarely find something this richly penned. But it’s loaded with concepts and lingo and even a monetary system I’m unfamiliar with, and that hampers my understanding of the points. I get the general gist, but all the finer points are very lost on me, simply because I’m an American millennial.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. I’ve seen the “F*ck” series titles floating around here and there, and I’m intrigued by a couple of them. The idea of this one is that people give way too many f*cks about everything, and that you really need to pick where you give your f*cks in life and never give a f*ck about anything that doesn’t line up with your values (in a nutshell). It’s an easy and interesting read. It’s interesting to me that, in the wake of what I hear was many years of positive-mood and high self-esteem type self help books (most of which I’ve only heard of and never read, were they before my time?), we’re getting a backlash of “Yes, life sucks. Yes, life has pain. Dealing with pain and failure appropriately is a part of life. Accept that, or lose yourself to complete entitlement” type self-help books. I’m curious what this trend produces in people over time. I’d also like to highlight that this book has the best discussion of dividing “fault” and “responsibility” that I’ve ever read.

Shows

Loki. WHAT EVEN. WHAT EVEN. WHAT. WHAT THE. WHAT THE. FRESH… THE FRICK FRACK PADDYWHACK???!!!

Mushi-shi. So, turns out the first time I watched this I somehow started on Season 2, and my source cut out before the season end… no wonder I was pretty confused. So I started re-watching this and… I remember how incredibly unsettling this anime is. It’s equal parts gentle wonder and soft horror, a blend that is very difficult to describe unless you’ve seen it. Much like Mushi themselves, eh? I think I’ll balance this out by ending each watch session with an episode of Log Horizon rewatch. That’ll keep the emotional balance intact.

Claymore. I ended up dropping this one halfway through. It has an interesting concept, but the “things that bug me” points mounted pretty fast. In the early episodes, everything is so dark that it’s hard to see what’s going on. There’s a huge amount of monologuing and info-dumping IN monologue, and this goes on even mid-fight, and even CALMLY mid-fight. Yes, this isn’t the only anime that does this, but it decreases my enjoyment. It’s difficult to take the story seriously when the big bad yells, “Why can’t I defeat you?” to the weakest-but-somehow-also-the-strongest member of a team, and then have a colleague of the team member calmly explain to the big bad exactly why he’s unable to land a blow, then they take off his head together. This show has a lot of that sort of thing. I’ll read up on how the series ended, not interested in slogging through the other half.

Elfen Lied. This is a re-re-rewatch for me. I stumbled on this anime when I was newly inducted into anime-watching and, well... given that Princess Tutu was my very first anime, this one was a real shock to my system at first. By all accounts I should have dropped it and run screaming at the time, but I couldn’t. There was something about the sheer tragedy of the story that called to me. Plus it was VERY short. So I returned to it from time to time. Now that I’ve developed more of a feel for what I do and don’t like in a story, how does this hold up? The relationships are terrible, imo, and the whole thing about diclonius is never explained enough (and I still don't understand the ending) but it's STILL hard not to be pulled in by the sheer tragedy of the series.

Movies

300. I haven’t seen this movie since college. Is it weird how much I enjoyed it as a romp? Yes, there’s death and tragedy, but the dry humor and utter gung-ho-edness of it is infectious. It’s a good flick, I’m really glad I went back to see it. And I also finally understand Leonidas telling the traitor, “May you live forever.” Damn, man. No wonder he flinched.

Weathering With You. GORGEOUS. I need to see more by this animator… LIGHT. WATER. FOOD. I hear they’re calling this person the new Miyazaki? I CONCUR. And the story is sweet and beautiful and just yes. Yes. Oh, look, he made something else before this movie…

Your Name. Okay so I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, fantastic story and, once again, gorgeous animation that all makes me want to track with this creator in the future. And the twist definitely socked me in the gut, I didn’t see it coming. On the other hand, I feel like this movie hits an extreme of “show, don’t tell” in a way that comes awfully close to a negative. I didn’t think that was possible, but this movie switches timelines, POV, points in time, etc, so rapidly that it becomes difficult to keep track of what’s going on, properly. I could not imagine watching this movie in theaters, it has to be watched with a remote in hand to pause, rewind, rewatch, discuss what the heck just happened. It’s like watching Mystery Skulls videos, with that level of rapid fire little details that are incredibly important to the plot, but for a feature length film. Also, after some discussion, I came to see (and agree) that there’s a foundational issue in the main relationship that doesn’t bode well for the future, as much as I rooted for them to be together. Still, it’s an incredible movie and I can see why it was the highest grossing movie for Japan a few years back.

Games

Diablo II. I’m really happy. I live in a house with my husband and his best friend, and in the past year or so we’ve begun playing games together. This is the sort of game I would never have gone to on my own because I actually need someone in the room who I can ask, “Hey, how do you assign attacks again?” or “Hey, is this piece of gear better than the piece I’m wearing?” I don’t like playing the number game on gear so much, but I let the two of them dress my character up and then I back them up in a fight and enjoy myself. Looting and exploring for treasure is probably my favorite aspect (says the person who plays Breath of the Wild just to forage for mushroom and herbs), although as a level 20 Amazon I’m now shooting out waves of 8 arrows at a time, and that’s pretty epic too. It’s a special kind of joy to find out you actually like a type of gaming as long as there’s people there who can explain things along the way and who don’t get annoyed at re-asked questions. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m having a blast playing Diablo II in a group. And as for the other game we play together as a group…

WoW Classic. I covered this before, but back then I was a lowly level 17 Dwarf Hunter. Now I’m a lowly level 36 Dwarf Hunter. With a mount! I have epic skills like explosion traps, poisonous shots, and multi-shot. My wolf has gained a ton more skills, too, and is (or so I’m told) a pretty effective off-tank. I have been told I am an effective DPS person, which makes me very happy. I really enjoy this kind of gaming, but specifically when I’m in the same room as the people I’m gaming with. Communication is a lot easier and we work really well as a team that way.

[thebibliomancer]

Song of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 18

Song of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because sure the book is only half over but don’t you think we should really find that flute now?

Last times on book: Kylan, Naia, and Tavra have traveled to Home-in-Shadows to find a magic firca that will help them warn all Gelfling about the Skeksis. Maudra Argot’s delightful son Amri has joined the party to lead them to the Tomb of Relics.

Chapter 18

The gang meets urLii the Storyteller! They find the cedar box of Gyr’s firca! What a fulfilling chapter!

Amri gets them all lanterns and then the gelfs split up because they’ll cover more ground that way.

... Kylan imagined Naia and Tavra were seeing the same as him: a passage lined with dusty, lichen-covered, boxed, locked, rolled, stacked, and latched items. There were so many things crammed among the shelves that it was hard to tell, especially in the lacking light, where one item ended and the next began.

I’ve been taking all of the books off of my multiple shelves to move and I feel this description very hard. My room is just stacks of books now. Floor is books and bed is books.

And yet I feel a secret forbidden library/archive inside a mountain might be my ideal dream home.

Kylan walks through the Tomb of Relics and sees lantern light and a figure down a hall. Its Tavra and she tells him to get back on task.

The first room gave him no success, though not for lack of trying. There were so many things crowded in every cubby that he was sure he hadn’t possibly looked through everything. Yet if he followed his impulse and inspected every crate and scroll he found, it would take forever. Each artifact was unique, and wonderful, and Kylan knew he could spend his entire life in the Tomb if he lost track of his goal.

In the last chamber of the row, Kylan finds that a shelf against the far wall has collapsed (possible from an earthquake... shouldn’t that be thraquake?) and spilled books and boxes and chests and artifacts and broken stuff into one jumbled pile.

And then the pile starts to move as a Mystic rises from underneath it. Huh, guess the shelf collapsed recently or he was taking a long rubble nap.

Amri and Naia show up and Amri introduces the Mystic as urLii and that he sometimes comes down from the Sanctuary to bring new stuff to the Tomb of Relics.

Heyyyy, urLii the Storyteller!

He was great in the Age of Resistance comic! In that, he sorta lived in the Tomb of Relics like a dragon with a bunch of piles of treasures. He also guarded the Dual Glaive and had named the Tomb of Relics that to make it sound spooky because he didn’t want a lot of company.

urLii the Mystic finally cleared enough of the pile to step free of it. In full view, Kylan could see he was indeed the same race as urVa, the wise archer they’d met in the Dark Wood. He had a long body, from his long face to his long, heavy tail, his skin marked where it was visible with etching-like whorls and spirals. He was clothed in a simple mantle, wrists decorated with metal cuffs and cord ties. He cleared his throat and patted his body, as if to make sure it was intact, and then drew a pair of eye-prisms from the clutter. Once they were snug on his nose, he looked at the three Gelfling more closely.

Huh! I think this is the first Mystic with glasses? Even though skekOk wears multiple glasses, his counterpart urAc wears none.

... Although I’m seeing on the wiki that skekOk wears glasses just to look smarter. Amazing.

urLii recognizes that this is Amri’s first time in the Tomb and explains he was looking for something, which he doesn’t remember now, when a shelf fell on him.

Amri decides to ask for urLii’s help in finding the firca.

While Amri described the firca to urLii, as casually as with a sibling, Kylan tried to quiet a sudden pulse of jealousy. It was a bad feeling, and he didn’t like it one bit. Not only did the Grottan have access to such a trove of ancient treasure, but they knew one of the Mystics like a family friend? He sighed and tried to wave the feeling away. There was no need to be in competition with Amri, who was only doing everything he could to help them.

If you didn’t hate being underground so much, I’d suggest asking Maudra Argot to adopt you. She seems cool. And Amri could be your brother!

But, yeah, no, it’d never work.

urLii believes he knows where the firca is. Although he’s waffling a bit on which way that is and keeps getting lost and wandering from chamber to chamber.

While they follow him, Naia asks why Amri didn’t mention that he knew a Mystic.

“Mystic? Um... I guess he is pretty mystical, now that you say it! urLii has taught the Grotan clan for ages. He’s a master song teller, and he taught us all to dream-etch. We call him the Storyteller. Our younglings travel to the Sanctuary when they come of age to learn... Is that strange? Are there others like him?”

Kylan’s heart ached. A friendship with one of the Mystics, those that were as wise as the Skeksis were shrewd! Yet in all his ancient knowledge, Amri didn’t even know how lucky he was.

Naia speculates how cool it would have been if urVa had lived with the Drenchen and taught them and mentions that urLii could probably teach Kylan a bunch of songs he’s never even heard.

Oof, kinda inadvertently putting salt on the jealousy wound there, Naia.

It’s not explicitly mentioned but I imagine that the fact that all Grottan learn dream-etching and can read has got to contribute to his feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. Dream-etching was his special skill that he brought to the group but they’re bringing Amri along and he can do it too.

urLii eventually finds a shelf that he insists is where the firca is, even though Kylan is pretty sure they’d searched that shelf twice.

The Storyteller searched the shelves with all four long-fingered hands at once, picking up small chests and shifting things aside, looking and grumbling hmm, hmm the whole while.

Oh, to have four arms and super good at sorting...

Amri asks if he’s sure that this is the right shelf, I guess having the same misgivings as Kylan. Aw dangit, Amri is even misgiving better! Poor Kylan!

But urLii insists! He’s a very organized relic keeper! Since Gyr the Song Teller was a Sifa, he put it next to the Sifan Charms of Zale, a sextant, some Nebrie hide, and charms.

Amri suggests instead that urLii moved it or maybe it fell when there was a booklanche in the other room.

The Gelfs all split up to cover more ground again but in the same room.

Kylan stayed near urLii, waiting for the courage to speak to the Mystic. They worked side by side while Amri joined Naia on the other end of the room. Kylan had questions, and he wanted to hear everything the Mystic had to share, but no matter how long he waited, the courage never came. He could not ask about Gyr, or the firca, or even whether the Mystic race knew their Skeksis counterparts had broken the Heart of Thra. Instead they looked in silence, Kylan’s lungs filling with dust as he uncovered dozens and dozens of shelves, finding nothing.

Naia eventually declares that the firca isn’t here, prompting urLii to shake his head and respond “Oh, where, then?”

Is that catty? Can Mystics be catty?

I know they can be sassy, especially urSol, but I didn’t know catty.

Oh, and then Tavra comes in with the cedar box the firca is in, which she says she found two chambers over.

Womp womp.

She also notices urLii but doesn’t really respond to a Mystic being here. Like ‘well this might as well happen.’

Instead of presenting it to Amri, who could have been said to be the owner of the box on behalf of his clan that protected the Tomb, or to Naia, who had been their unofficial leader through everything, Tavra brought the box to Kylan. He accepted it in both hands.

“Here’s your firca, Song Teller,” she said.

See, now that definitely sounds catty or perhaps spiteful.

Naia encourages Kylan to crack open the box but he takes time to savor the moment or perhaps just to examine the box in detail so as to set the scene. It really is a great box.

Etched in great detail on the lid was a drawing of a bird, standing next to a grove of trees to demonstrate its fantastical size. Its head was all beak with an eye on either side, wings half-spread over a clutch of boulder-size eggs. The only thing peculiar about the etching was a character burned into the corner of the drawing, the symbol for S. The etching still felt warm, but then again, everything in the stuffy chambers did.

You have good taste in boxes, Gyr. And/or whoever boxed it. Possibly urLii?

Hmm, I wonder if the etching on the box is etching etching or dream-etching.

And I wonder about that S.

S forrrrrr Song Teller?

Kylan imagines the firca before opening the box, something that looks so similar to the tiny instrument he learned to play but just oh so much cooler and more powerful and also capable of saving the day against the Skeksis!

Which I’m not sure about. There’s like a hundred pages left.

Though, just finding the thing isn’t the end of the story. They still get to use it to graffiti the truth absolutely everywhere.

Kylan cracks the box open and.... aw dang.

Resting in the padded box was a collection of white fragments - bone, no doubt, and some still large enough to show intricate carvings. There were just enough pieces to know what it had been, and what it could never be again. All that mattered now was what it was: Gyr’s bell-bird firca, smashed into a thousand pieces.

=(

What a shaggy fizzgig story.

[ilkkawhat]

All the numbers. (If not all then pick and choose a handful to answer).

lol you’re really going for it anon, huh?? 😂 bless your heart. I’ll do all of them and then idk. if anybody wants to send any again, I’m sure I can have a different answer

(I did just answer 7 & 22 so I’ll leave those out. rest below the cut)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I guess if you count all of my active WIPs that have been sitting dormant for months or years, there’s those since I like. I know what I’m doing in pretty much all of them, just as I know what I’m doing in some of my unpublished WIPs, but I think I just need to be in a certain mood/energy to do certain ones (ie, Agony esp is a very heavy fic so I gotta be able to Deal with that)

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I deleted those 😂😂😂 but some of my reeeeeealllllly old stuff is still out there and I cringe thinking about that and though I could easily delete those too, I’m keeping them just since the harddrive that has the docs for it is corrupted lol

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Just all over the place these days tbh. Even chapter to chapter it’ll change, I’ll write snippets in future chapters--and I’m talking like three or four chapters ahead--just to get it out there. But then there’s other days where I’ll sit and just write and not stop.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Nick Stokes, of course 💜💜💜

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Any of the Macgyver characters outside of Jack. Cause though I’ll claim not to all the time, I do know that I know the CSI characters (though I’m surprised I’m able to write in their POVs outside of Nick.) I grew up with them. I have a bond with them. The mac characters? I’ve only known for like. two years now and not even that well anymore since I’ve stopped watching the show. 

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Expanding on details. Almost every fic I write, I’ll read it again later and be like “ah shit I should have run with this idea...” but I guess that’s how I can do a sequel/missing scene

8) favorite genre to write

hurt/comfort (emphasis on the hurt, really I mean we’re talking like borderline horror)

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

See I haven’t really honed in on any one particular thing that inspires me to write. It comes out of nowhere, and the following list of things doesn’t like, always work. When I’m listening to a song. When I’m driving in the car. When I’m watching something unrelated to the source material (totes got some inspiring vibes watching Falcon and The Winter Soldier yesterday tbh lmao) When I dream. When I go on a walk. When people send me asks and I just go the fuck off and suddenly ten chapters later I’m writing a fic that they probably didn’t even want (coughSpecimenStokescough)

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I think the last couple times I’ve like, really written it’s been in silence. Definitely alone. Don’t got people to write around, really lmao (unless you count my parents being in other rooms with obnoxiously loud televisions and tablets)

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

All of it. And I’m sure it’ll keep improving.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Dialogue. I don’t know how people talk 😂

13) your strengths as an author

Detail, description, and I also like to think--emotion? but idk. It’s hard for me to assess my strength tbh

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Oh YES! At least for the longer WIPs like Last Breath or Agony. And listen to it on a loop when I’m trying to brainstorm or write if I want to write with music on. I’ve been starting to link the playlists when I’m doing with the fic (which is not many so far)

(I think Hellbound is the only one-shot I made a playlist for that I didn’t share)

15) why did you start writing?

I honestly can’t remember, cause I think I’ve been writing stories (fan fiction or not) ever since I was in middle school?? Maybe even elementary? But I do feel like I had gotten more encouragement for it than drawing from the few people in my life that did actively cheer me on, and there’s just something about writing that is so...fulfilling? Esp since I can’t like. Just manifest the images or make the “movie” in my head, at least I can write them down and hopefully convey what I see/feel in my mind through words.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

All my neglected OCs lmao. I did and I guess on some level still do want to make an original series.

In a chilling way Veronica also haunts me cause I realize how much of that like, darkness in myself I put in her. 

And Nick, well, he’s just always on my mind.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Just fucking go for it! Don’t give a shit if anybody will read it or not. Take your time, flesh out those details. Describe what you see, what they see, what they feel. 

If you think you’re going too far...you’re not. 

keep going

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

I mean any fan fiction I read in the past has probably influenced me on some level. I know that when I came back to CSI in 2018, reading all of kristen999′s nick whump def encouraged me cause I was like “oh...there’s others like me who like to see him hurt!?!?” and I do think that maybe sometimes after I read a fic, I might like. Try to incorporate those styles I see. The way words are described, sentences constructed. Not like, copy of course but I feel like a long time ago my writing wasn’t really idk, novel-like? very short, almost read like a script whereas now, since I’ve seen the way people write their stories (some novel length stories, too), I flesh mine out a lot more.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I don’t 😂 Thinking of my bigger projects like Agony, I do just kind make up some of it as I go with a rough outline although sometimes it is a bit more detailed--like First Flight actually has a super detailed outline but I know that once I start writing, something might come up, some twist I didn’t think of before--or even one that somebody suggests to me, but idk I feel like I do have a way of tying everything together regardless? Cause especially with those bigger WIPs I will try to go back and re-read if something seems familiar or if I’ve forgotten a detail, or if I’m planning on diving back into it after a long break from it. 

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends. I feel more accomplished with the long sit down sessions so I target that, but lately it’s been little spurts with maybe one big dump at the end of the week.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Mostly cringe, but there are times I’m like “holy shit this is really good???” 

like I remember recently I re-read Agony and loved it, when I wanted to delete it maybe like. a week before that. I think it honestly depends on my frame of mind, and why I’m going back to read the fic? Cause I’ve had times where I’m like “wait what was this one?” and then I read it and laugh at how bad it is, but then other times where I’m like, “I wanna read that one fic I did...” and then I do and it makes me happy.

But, I will always kinda criticize at the same time--”aw, I could do this better, I could have expanded on this,” etc

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

My life is suuuuuuper boring so. not really lmao. One of my earliest CSI fics that actually created what I consider to be my number one OC (she’d be the lead in that original series I mentioned earlier) came out of me sitting and staring into a campfire lmao. 

also there was this teacher I had (one of those good IRL supports) that told me a story of something that happened to her (or was it her daughter?) and I turned it into a story (back in my teen days) so. I guess there are somethings. 

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? No. But I will do numerous google searches to try and figure some stuff out and get lost in a rabbit hole of “research” for a while and hope that when I do write it, it comes off as I know what I’m doing when really, I do not lol.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

haven’t really written much in this past week, and certainly nothing to be proud of, but this line hit me like a ton of bricks for Specimen Stokes and I’m in love with it:

“Because, my dear specimen, I wanted to see if you loved the danger...or if you loved me.”