#probably cuz i dont post fics right

[jdopes-recorder]

Not little rant pls ignoreee

Literally giving you so much time to scroll past

Stop scrolling

Well you asked for it:

Im feeling kinda lonely here :/

There's moots and blogs I like that are so talented and cool so obv they get a lot of asks and interactions

They all must be getting them cuz they do something, right

What do I even do here?

I reblog sfuff.

I know that reblogs mean a lot to the writers but still.

I've literally posted one headcanon but that was from some surge of confidence and I don't like anything I've sort of written other than that. Ones with serious topics and scenarios. I'm not good at conveying that stuff. My writing is like an examination essay, pretty bad with bringing emotions and more descriptive.I have ideas but I'm not good at writing.

Idk what to make edits and gifs.

I dont do those 'relatable thoughts' that I see everywhere.

Am I even worth much to the people I interact with? Probably not tbh there's nothing great abt me

The one I was closest to here for the most was aster but then she deactivated suddenly and I didn't even know why so I had to ask rin.... It sounds stupidly selfish but I just wish aster had let me know before she left bcz it was such a shock. I was gonna ask her smthg and I went to our messages and it said it was deactivated.

It was just a lot to process and I miss her a lot.

I'm not rly doing anything worthwhile here tho am I?

What do I bring to this platform?

Nothing really

I do moodboards sometimes but I haven't for like two months cuz it takes quite a bit of time and patience and I don't have that kind of stuff rn

It feels pretty pathetic actually, to see your moots posting awesome stuff that literally move my soul while I do nothing.

I suppose sometimes I may make them happy a bit

Maybe

I always try my best to leave feedback on all writing works I read and I know how much that means to them

I've only posted one thing and the few reblogs I got and their tags mean so much so I wanna do that for others.

But it feels.... Weird and sad to be this unproductive here.

Kinda feels like I don't belong in a place like this where there are so many talented creative wonderful people.

I'm not rly thinking about it but, if I deactivated my blog, what great thing will be gone with me? Moots may be a bit :( but they'll definitely find many another blogs that are equally cool to interact with right? Right.

Ok well that was the most I've ever showed my feelings here... Weirdddd

[potatobugz]

biggest problem with writing is that I have all the ideas and themes I want to express in my head, but when I try to write it down the words come out. wrong

[cerealmonster15]

um 🕺 fic ideas ive had in my brain a while that i havent gotten around to writing,,, via progressively rougher doodles lol. ramblings about the story ideas under da cut

first is treycay fic ft trey + his friendship with rook and vil, and also recently i considered adding cay + his friendship with light/pop music club perspective too. idk we’ll see. but initially the concept was like rook n vil seeing cay/trey all close and cute and making some comment to trey after cater leaves that theyd be cute together. trey admits he tried asking cater out once before but was REJECTED!!! but thru the power of friendship and introspection and self growth or whatever, thats not where their story ends!!!!!!!!! i had an idea like it a lil while ago and then i had a DREAM ABOUT IT in a very similar sense so the ideas kinda merged. def wanna write it sometime i miss treycay so much OUGH. it would go a lot into the nature of their friendship and personalities and stuff. i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS and OPINIONS about them. caters crying in the last shot but IT’S OK HES FINE THIS IS A HAPPY STORY!!! HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

second one i had the idea for like, nearly if not a year ago lol. it would be a more ambitious one bc it would involve all the second years and im SCARED lol. specifically it’d be kalim centric in a kalisil story about kalim wanting to mend the broken relationship between a recently BROKEN UP JAMIAZU!!!!!! with the help of his good buddy classmate silver :) and also the other second years bc once they get together theyre all like “yea jamil and azul’s vibes have been horrendous ever since they broke up and it’s unbearable for everyone around them so we have to Do Something Right Now!!!” i think it was gonna involve kalim throwing a second year mixer party /scheming with the other second years , and he’d get extra help from silver and theyd grow all close n cute by the end..... but that one ive never thought out the details past the basic premise so thats largely why i havent written it.....[yet👀?]

[netscapenavigaytor]

if i had a nickel for every time while headcanoning character dynamics that don't exist much in canon, i ended up making the fan-favorite yaoi pairing instead a worryingly toxic friendship that's only hanging on by a thread, i would have two nickels but it's weird that it happened twice

[burntb4bydoll]

Hey love the writing sm was wondering in your 2023 tom hc you siad you would write a story bout giving him head on live stream and im so excited when or if it comes out.

hope you get better❤np if you can or dont want to anymore

Thank you sm!! Im so mad cuz the original fic was DELETED BY THIS DUMB APP😭 i literally wrote a whole ass smut fic and when i posted it, it just disappeared i was so pissed

Im just gonna write headcanons cuz tbh rewriting the whole thing is so much work😭 HOPE THATS OK BAE!!!

Giving 2023 Tom Kaulitz head during a livestream headcanons

•it was probably during a long livestream, he had been on it for so long and you got bored so why not suck him off😇

•you were also on the livestream, but you pretended like you were going to bed so that you could have an excuse to leave

•you didn’t actually leave the room ofc, you just crawled between his legs (which were out of the frame obvi)

•he would totally be into it too. Theres no way he would turn down head from his pretty little s/o🤭

•hes so good at pretending nothings happening. He continues to play with filters and talk with the guys like nothings going on, no one suspects a thing

•but what no one else can see is the way his hands are tangled in your hair and his hips pushing up so that he hits the back of your throat

•at one point you had to pull away to wipe away the drool that was going down your chin😭 he totally laughed at you but no one noticed

•if you start making noise he’ll mute himself and point his phone towards the ceiling

• “be quiet, baby. You dont want everyone knowing how much of a slut you are, do you?”

•then he’ll go right back to talking to people in the chat or joining on on whatever conversation was already happening

•the whole time hes petting your hair and looking at you with the most lovesick look in his eyes. He loves you so much and hes having the time of his life, he couldn’t be happier really

•he holds your head in place while he cums in your mouth. He mutes again and tells you to “be a good girl/boy/slut and swallow.”

IM GOING FERAL WHILE WRITING THIS HELP

[spreadwardiard]

Tagged by @skeletonsgeorg, thank you so much!!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 21

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 176,709

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now, just Transformers but I used to write Fullmetal Alchemist fics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Fun at Work- FMA, roy/ed, this is smut be warned. Kudos: 178 2. Saturdays- FMA, Roy/Ed, SFW Kudos:167 3. 4 Million Years- My first TF fic and my first fic after an 8 year writing hiatus. Megop, Kudos: 128 4. Crossing the Line- Megop, def valveplug going on inthis. kudos: 128 5. A New Kind of Word Sparring- Megop, SFW, Kudos: 100

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to respond to most comments but sometimes I miss some.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oooh probably this fma one: Regrets

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I... don't actually know tbh. a lot of my fics are just little oneshots that already were happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I used to, a long time ago. It's part of why I stopped writing for so long but honestly the worst of the hate came to my roleplay blogs, not my fics.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yessssssss smut is my fav thing to write actually. its fuuuun.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not really? I'm not opposed to it though if it makes sense.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? IDK

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I co-write with @lets-try-some-writing! We're working on a TF AU together called Two Sides to a Coin.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Megop omg it has me by the throat.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Omg... I have so many I can't even think of just one... I ahve a REALLY hard time finishing fics, its why I usually just write one shots... but I have a mechpreg megop au i was working on that I WANT SO BAD TO FINISH but am intimidated by its scope.

16. What are your writing strengths? I don't actually know tbh... i know what I have the most fun writing, but Idk if that counts as my strenghts.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm on of those people that tends to only care for the romantic parts of the story, so I tend to skip by a lot of other things cuz I just dont care about it often.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think its cool!

19. First fandom you wrote for? Shoot I think it was Yu-Gi-Oh?? Maybe Pokemon. idk i don't really remember.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Right now I think it was Until Next Time, Prime. It was just really fun to get into how megatron felt about Optimus post Optimus yeeting himself into the Well.

Tagging: @lets-try-some-writing, @steelthroat, @cyberrose2001 anyone else who wants to do the thing!

[yonpote]

under cut cuz i talk too much lol

i am not blaming dan or anything (and obviously this has been a joke in lgbt spaces for forever) but i do think he unintentionally enabled the like "homophobia is a good thing actually" type jokes and like i definitely make them too, and im always seeing jokes on here like "god why are they Like This" etc. but i think some people just dont know the line or view them so much as friends that they don't think about how it could read differently from someone who is essentially a stranger. ive said smth similar before of like, dnp (ESP DAN...) used to be not great at drawing boundaries esp since youtube and social media culture were so different back then, but now even when they draw hard lines ppl either continue to step right over them, or dont understand exactly where the line goes. they dont care if u write smut or dead dove fics, they dont care if u make shippy fanart, but like maybe dont tag them in buttsecks? (or maybe do, idk theyre being so unhinged lately maybe we gotta start @'ing them in catboy porn (JOKING))

i was talking w a friend a little bit ago about the exact differences between the generally speaking philosophies between older fans and younger fans. it seems that older fans embrace creating transformative works and having their own interpretations on who dnp are, whereas younger fans want to know dnp on a personal level and want dnp to know Them and recognize them not just as fans but as people. and OFC there are older phannies who want the parasocial interaction and younger phannies who write fic and people who do neither, and people who do both! (hi :3) but then some people have a difficult time being able to marry the two ideas maybe?

heres the truth. dan and phil are real human beings who have made a career largely off their shared dynamic together, BOTH because they genuinely enjoy creating and being together AND because a lot of people really get invested in it and it makes them more money. they don't mind fic or art, you probably SHOULDNT tag them in the saucy stuff, but they know it's out there and generally have been respectful of fan spaces and knowing where OUR boundaries lie (altho maybe the line was toed w the roblox video but thats debatable.) they really do care about their audience both in order to please us and keep us coming back, AND because they see how much theyve affected us as people and have a deep *Sarapocial Relationship with us.

there are both parasocial AND tranformative ways to break boundaries, and oftentimes they can be one and the same. they aren't our friends they arent our dads and they arent objects with no feelings. they don't stalk our accounts but they are still able to see whatever we post publicly. theyve seen so many horrible things and have had many horrible things happen to them, and while no one can be certain something like that won't happen again, now that they have been able to be more honest with us about a lot of things they are able to trust us a little bit more.

anyway ramble over back to me talking abt how dan should embrace their transness

[robintherobiner]

Thoughts, explanations, and all that shit i had while writing my latest oneshot

Stand up comedians do NOT make good kidnappers - Robin_The_Robiner - Batman - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

SO first up the name. Where did it come from? God knows. I started this fic like ages ago, wrote Steph's first section, and then promptly forgot about it for three months only to come back and scribble the rest out. I dont remember how i came up with the name, but i still think its hilarious so,,

Who is Cassowary? This universes Robin, duh! Since Damian was the first, i thought he'd go for a more intimidating bird. These birds have really sharp claws, and leave wounds similar to those of a blade. Huh. Who do we know who is really good with a sword? Exactly 😎

Writing Steph was hard because I don't know her very well, so I may have projected onto her a little bit (hence the excessive death jokes 😅). I hope it came across that Steph is a detective, like Bruce, but that she's doesn't lazer-focus on that stuff like him. Thats why she focuses on describing Junior at first, not the room she's in or the fact she's chained up. She knows these things, but she only brings them up when relevant. What good is wallowing over being chained up when you could be making fun of your kidnapper, huh?

I'm a bit worried that i didn't make it obvious enough that there is time between Steph's and Bruce's sections. Thats why when we finish Steph's third bit, she's shitting on Junior for dressing like the Joker, but then in the final bit, she's aware that it's Tim. The parts aren't happening at the same time, or right after the other. I hope that was obvious, but im not sure.

BRUCE'S BIT!!! I saw a post once saying that Bruce separates his personas very hard, and i really liked that. When he's talking about Batman, it's only referred to as Batman. When he's having more emotional thoughts, it's Bruce. And, of course, when he's dealing with Crystal (who i don't know very well so probably wasn't well written MY BAD YALL), he's Brucie. The guilt is in all of them, though. Fun stuff!

A big part of Stephanie and Bruce's relationship in canon is, from what i can tell, tense because of the way he treated her when he first met her. BUT in this fic, it's a bit lessened because Steph chalks his shittyness to the fact that he recently lost a son. Also, i think in canon a big part of why Bruce refused to get close to Steph was because of how she reminded him of Jason, which obviously isn't a problem in this universe. Bruce and Steph are still tense, but this time she has the eldest kid on her side pretty easily, cuz Damian feels guilt over Tim LOL

The death!! It's not overly explained, but I do have Tim's death all planned out and shit. It's a mix of the Joker Junior scene from Batman Beyond : Return of The Joker, and then also a little bit of canon. Instead of Bruce being out of Gotham, like in the film, it's that they have an argument. Similar to Jason and Garzonas situation, in how Bruce is angry at the thought of his partner killing, but more so using the Boomerang arc from canon (Tim wanting to kill his Dad's murderer)

Junior's mental state is wild. I'm not writing him with any particular mental illness, mostly because I'm not at all knowledgeable enough to portray something correctly. Instead I'm basing him off of Joker Junior's intro scene, and also me during some of my darkest moments! It's not Pit Rage (i don't lie how much the fandom pushes that onto Jason, similar to the Tim-Doesn't-Sleep idea in which it wasn't canon but then it got popular and was made so, i think) and instead just a extremely traumatised 17 year old!

The teaparty scene was put in there because I wanted Tim to have a hobby that he could share with his mom (because god knows everyone hates Janet because they mess up her character and only look at fanon) and that also can be used to show his mental state. Hence, collecting figurines, and playing with them! Yippee! Thanks to my pal Leo over on discord for suggesting this hobby!! (it was originally stuffed animals but I thought Batburger toys would work better)

Damian and Duke both were the first kids, instead of Dick and Barbara. Instead of Batgirl, we have Batkid, and then instead of Oracle, we have Signal. Damian is Shrike, because that is the most common hero name I see for him and I couldn't think of another. I may go back and change it to Nightwing, because I like the meaning of the name, but it would come from Superboy (Jon) instead of Superman in this universe, so maybe it comes later on? Not sure. need to think on that!!

Drake Manor was, in canon, only bought after Jack woke up from the coma. But, i decided to take the fandom route in which the Drakes always lived there, simply because timeline wise it works better for me. Also in canon, Jack doesn't need the wheelchair by the end, but for my fic, he's not out of the coma long enough for that. I also added a fun basement which defo doesn't exist in canon, so just turn a blind eye to that!

If you saw the original post, you'd know that Bruce was supposed to find Steph through a series of taunting clues. I changed my mind though, because I'm not good at clues, mysteries, or cases. So, a gift with the address is sort of dissapointing, but who cares?

Steph's feelings about Tim are sort of iffy. A really popular headcanon is that Jason was Tim's robin, and thats not true. I'm pretty sure Tim just,, didn't care about Jason? Idk exactly how he felt, but whatever. Steph doesn't hate Tim, in this fic, she just sort of hates how he was as Cassowary. Bruce is full of guilt and won't say a bad word about him, but has plenty of criticism for Steph, which leads to a sort of resentment. He was Cassowary though, so there is also some adoration in her heart. Basically, she switches how she feels about him depending on the situation.

Jack and Robin. In this universe, Jack doesn't know Tim is a superhero. Tim does still take a break, but it's to spend time with his dad after he awakens, not because he's threatened. Dana also (unfortunately) isn't around in this fic, so Jack has more time to spend with Tim. It's sort of a win-lose situation though. More time with Tim so they get closer, but without Dana to calm him, Jack's little bouts of fury are stronger (remember how he fucking ripped out a TV??) so their relationship is more strained, which is why Tim does go back to being Cassowary, just for a bit, before his dad dies.

Hints are sprinkled in Steph's bits that tell on Tim's identity. Not many, because I'm really bad at hints and subtlety, but there are a few. Mentions of shock burns (the electrocution duh), Zesti instead of tea (which is Tim's canon favourite drink, not coffee!!), and his wish that Steph stops being a hero.

Tims motivations are a reverse of Jasons canon ones. Jason forgives Bruce for not saving him, but is mad he wasn't avenged. Tim forgives Bruce for not avenging him, but is mad he wasn't saved. Aint that fun? Thats why instead of beating her up, Tim kidnaps Steph for three days to resemble the three weeks he was held captive before he died. Yippee, allegories! (i think that word isn't right, but i can't think of the right one??!! english is HARD)

WOW i had a lot of thoughts and explanations and shit for that oneshot, huh? 🤭

[dilutedconfusion]

okay listen so i've been thinking heavily on the yandere trope recently. but like with Kid as the yandere. and whenever i see yandere!Kid i feel like he's always the more sadistic version of yanderes.

basically used this post (hoping the link works for you🙏🙏) to look at the dif types bc i dont know all that😭 but i feel like he is always sadistic/possessive in fics. obvi all yandere!aus are gonna be at least a little ooc bc its a divergence of canon characteristics but hear me out girl...

delusional and overprotective yandere!Kid... like girl. or like basically a kinda soft yandere!Kid. but like still horrible and awful not GREAT at emotions. like he will still get mad and yell but otherwise? is strangely kind to you? (w you not really realizing any subtle manipulation tactics that him or Killer might be using cuz Killer is loyal asf to Kid🤞)

like being kidnapped by the Kid pirates, the worst of the worst generation, said to be cruel and sadistic. that's already bad, and you're terrified for your life. essentially having a meltdown because you had no idea what was going to happen to you, but you had a guess. you meet Kid and prepare to be tortured/killed. then he's like??? weirdly nice to you? like yeah he's gruff and kinda bitchy but that is a thousand times better than being killed.

thats as far as the thoughts go but see my vision?? figured you would appreciate the Kid thoughts🙏

OKAY OKAY I love this SOOO MUCH. Like I don’t think I can explain how much I love this but you SLAYED. GIVING ME LINKS AND DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS AND SHIZ 🤭💞 Okay so to get right to the point I will be of course writing a chapter on this (or maybe multiple on this because that’s how good of an idea it is pookie). BUT I don’t know when I’ll be able to churn out a full chapter. I mean probably soon but I sorta just want to get a better grasp of exactly the kind of character you want Kid to be before I start writing. So here’s a little traits list?? that I cooked up the minute I read over this just to get my creative juices flowing. Let me know if Im headed in the right direction and if there is any changes or additions you’d like to see. Other than that I’ll write up the chapter, tag and credit the hell out of you, and we can revel in softyandere!Kid together 🥰

Traits

Thinks that kidnapping you was the best choice for your life. That you will be the safest and happiest with him (even if you’re kidnapped and being held against your will)

Often uses manipulation tactics like love bombing, balant lying to keep you in the dark, and triangulation with Killer

Not only believes that everyone else in the world is a hazard to you (including most of his crew members) but you’re a hazard to yourself so he doesn’t allow you privacy??? This could be taken to the point where he feels like he needs to be in the same room with you at all times. Eyes on you whenever physically possible. Which is sorta intense so just let me know if that is too much for you (cause I could make it really gross or more mild lol)

Will do even the simplest task for you, not because he wants to do it to help, but because he doesn’t believe you can take care of yourself or MOREOVER he should be the only to take care of you because he is just that great. Which of course he will hang over y/n’s head in arguments and be like “BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH I DO FOR YOU😡” type shit.

If you do constantly try to pull away from him he’ll think you’re just shy or playing hard to get and will therefore push your boundaries harder. But if you actually PHYSICALLY harm him or try to PERMANENTLY leave he’d rather tie you down until you apologize and say you weren’t in your right mind when you did that then listen to your plea seriously (HES SO DELULU) The punishment for this could also involve taking away material items or aspects of freedom because like you said he's not sadistic so he would never hurt you.

To put it simply y/n would feel like this “I like you Kid but I don’t like who you become when you're with me” WHICH WOULD CAUSE SOME SERIOUS TURBULENCE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND SOME SWEET ANGST EVEN.

I would write more but I don’t want to give TO MUCH away plot wise. Sooo hopefully this gives you a good idea on how I’m thinking of portraying Kid. If you have any other questions of course ask me!! Any little tid bits will be much appreciated and thank you so much for requesting something from me Emma 🫶

[glitchyvoice]

Do you have any blorbos or ideas to share?

floodgates: open

yes!! i have a bunch of aus im working on though im assuming u mean cotl specific (the others are undertale/deltarune and homestuck related if theres any interest)

the main one im working on right now is fates twine, (which ill explain in more detail in a second) but i have two others. a pirate esque essentially dnd campaign au story which ive named tears in a bottle. im still figuring out designs for that one but nari is a critter the size of the lambs hand so thats funny. its called tears in a bottle cuz the lamb and the others in the pirate crew go to raid a lost city, and the statue in the middle of said city (which is of shamura. the bishops are all archfey in this au so theyre cool) is weeping golden tears into a bottle which contains nari. only the lamb can see these god tears and nari.

i also have ideas for a madoka magica x cotl au but i have no designs and not enough ideas to talk about it currently.

but then theres fates twine. fates twine ("fates twine binds the hearts of you and i" is the full name, fates twine is my shorthand) is a prequel au which starts when the old gods are still around, and out of the bishops only shamura has their crown. it explores what would happen if the lamb (who is named mara) found the red crown before nari could, and fought against their ascension. they actually meet nari when hes still a mortal because of this and they become friends. shenanigans ensue. (narinders name as a mortal here is paean. i thought it would be cool to link him to the demon he always becomes in game) i have a bunch planned and have like 4,000 words worth of scenes written for it. but they're all for different parts of the fic so it's not currently postable. the closest image i have for mara around the time they find the crown is this little sketch for a scene i made

they dont typically wear the crown they usually have it as a ring on their finger to hide they have it but for that scene they do.

this is a bit of an older design and artstyle but this is mara when theyre a bit older. this is. the only coloured drawing i have of them rn but im gonna work on more soon.

this is their current design at that age. the other lamb there is omen, their little sister. i have a whole page of doodles of her that im gonna post tomorrow probably. shes one of my favourite fates twine characters i love her sm lolol

and these are sketches of mara post them becoming a cult leader!! so yeah nari does still get the crown and ascend instead of them eventually and they become the last lamb and all that but its about the interesting things that them being the true god of death causes. so yeah. you also get one (1) paragraph draft snippet of the first chapter bc im feeling silly

so yeah!! yap over

[n0bluev]

Somehow, im inspired to write that 'revision fic'. === (EDIT : u can skip but heres another snippet for u (3 separate bits that fit together nicely, actually haha) cuz hihi. THE AU: As i said, its a failed "3"rd regression context, where yjh is now in his "4"th round. The last memory he has of kdj is him dying, and to make things worse "In this round, that guy doesn't exist." is a thing, so yjh freaks out a bit but hes totally normal about this whole ordeal & the fact that he doesnt even remembers kdj's face now. Wdym! Hes fiiiiiine!

sorry lol back to the actual post : (,hope u enjoyed that little treat tho^^)) ===

!!THAT [Somehow, im inspired to write [...]] HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!. I always like. do an outline for the overall story and vibe, then flesh out the start or something and cook up a little 500 (probably unsatisfying) words for fun kind of as a bonus. Keep it mostly for my private enjoyment and move on before the story comes to life. And that's okay... Yes, it would be cooler to actually write the AU ideas i get in novel or comic form instead of having them stay at just the 'sketch' & 'idea/brainstorm' phase before i get another idea and leave them to dust up in the pile,,

But yeah, its okay.

In the few years since ive started getting ideas for more elaborate aus/fics, ive noticed that my ideas improved with time. (no shit, i know, but it makes me happy! i grew up!!! i can see it.) My planning methods are better too. So all of that unfinished or abandoned stuff is not at all useless work in my eyes. And who knows, maybe one day i'll bring them back.

--> as a plus, all my fandom brainrot experiences even get transferred into my OC stuff, and frl whenever i read my notes these days (or listen to my voice memos lol) and im just like "HOW DID I THINK OF THIS WOW" or "WHEN DID I PUT THIS LIKE THIS? IT WORKS!" (not to brag or anything but my oc lore goes hard ☝️)

BUT. NOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

I DID NO PLANNING. I just started writing for orv and its. Lowkey, good ???? Dont get me wrong i only have 1.5k right now and there are clear holes i have to fill and stuff but... CLEAR HOLES! CLEAR HOLES. Sure Im used to being like "something of the sort should go there..." BUT THIS TIME ITS "THIS SHOULD GO THERE, ILL WRITE IT LATER BUT THE IMAGE IS IN MY MIND, CLEAR AS WATER, AND ONCE I START PUTTING IT ON THE PAGE ISTG THOSE WORDS WILL STREAM OUT OF MY FINGERS AS IF IT WAS A NORMAL OCCURENCE FOR ME" ,,- !??? Yo!

Anyways. Point is that somehow theres interesting stuff going on in my gg doc and the more i write the more i know where i want to go, so that's cool, i feel all powerfull for once

idk if that ease is going to stay once im done with the first scenes (ughh!!! theres so much potential!!!!!!!!) but hopefully yes. either way ill probably post it so im not baiting yall with a "um actually im writing smt rn --- *never shares with the class*" --- either 1) things go well and i write a "real fic" (!? wtf that wasnt my plan!) --- or 2) i only post the finished version of what i have now (expect around 5k? (i have no idea actually)) and we wait together to see if i pick up the idea again haha. (i do wish to write it tho! im not a 'writer' writer but i want to be one, u get me?)

! thank u see u byebye

[nijigay]

hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

[cerealmonster15]

OH BOY ASK GAME!!!

😈🎢👀🧠(for uhhhhhh JACK!!!!!)💥

OH BOY EMOJIS WITH CORRESPONDING QUESTIONS!!!!

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

HMMMMM. i feel like usually no just bc the nature of what i do is more lighthearted lol. i like bullying the characters but in more of a comedic way so i dont really get "how dare u" reactions to things cuz we're just goofin. for now.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

HMMMmmmm well probably kalim and the great relationship rescue, not because it's a particularly wild fic in and of itself, just bc it's my first time writing a multi chapter fic and im fighting for my LIFE trying to work it out decently jkflJKFLDJKLFJ

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

well i could tell u about the kalim ^ one bc i have part of the next chapter in progress. BUT i will instead tell u that i am still also writing a cater/trey fic that ive had in the works for a while... it's one where u kinda get a look through their relationship through the years at nrc and their friendship/complexities of a relationship / trying to work out their feelings for each other / cater and trey's avoidant tendencies.... also riddle is there. i am taking my time with it bc houghghhgfh theres a lot i want to say and i want to say it RIGHT!!!! heartslabyul means everything to me i have to do right by my sons...

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

oh my god jack my big son jack howl. i think he has a lil baby crush on riddle jkfdjskfjskl based entirely on his ceremony robes story when ace brings jack back to heartslabyul and cheats at cards to try and get him to do laundry lol, and riddles like "hi" and jacks like oh my GOD it's riddle rosehearts senpai....... and he gets all flustered and ace is like HEY JACK WHY ARE YOU SWEATING. HEY WHYS YOUR TAIL WAGGING. HEY WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD JACK. and jacks like I REALLY ADMIRE YOU RIDDLE SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god. it's soooo cute lol.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

ougghghgh. im kind of a weenie little bitch. in my field of work, which is not fanfic, it does require a lot of constructive critique which is fine, HOWEVER both in the case of work and also writing or anything else, i'm more receptive if it's something ive like, asked for? like if im posting / showing someone something Just For Funsies then im probably not looking for critique and it would stress me out if someone started pointing out flaws or ways to improve if im just like, hanging out. or if im not even done fkjldsjdfksl.

but also sometimes i find typos and im like OH GOD IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN!!! but i mean people dont really say much about my fics anyway so i guess i dont know LOL

[questions!!!!!]

[goat-shoe]

i should be honest.......

>_< ;;;; so ive been a little quiet lately.... and i want to be honest about why that is. not just to be transparent with moots and oomfies, but truly to raise awareness for the gaslighting and abuse that weve normalized online.......

thats right ;; im talking about softblocking

(thank you for clicking thru already >w< its good someone cares.....) ;;;;

first of all, im not going to name names! rlly >_< firstly i wanna be the bigger person here..... and secondly cuz just.. there are too many names to name.

but anyways. you are maybe asking why softblocking is so bad? and its ok! ^^;; i get it. setting boundaries can be hard, and sometimes u need to manipulate our digital reality ;;;; now read that last sentence again.

when you softblock someone (for those who dont know: quietly blocking and unblocking a user so that their account is no longer following you), you are forcing a change of the status of their social account against their consent. literally if it werent for this loophole, you would have to log in to their account and unfollow for yourself- imagine how invasive that is!!!!

(and if youre wondering, i dont have to imagine! people in my actual real life have taken my phone from me, opened instagram, found their account, and forced me to unfollow multiple accounts! multiple times. i still havent found everyone i was made to unfollow ;; i really do not write this as a traumadump, quite the opposite: i need you to hear and know the very real pain that comes from this, ok? THERE IS A HUMAN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN.)

if that doesnt have you convinced though, let me ask you this: how many times has technology glitched on you! maybe a message didnt send? maybe a fic didnt update/post, maybe you saw a post that you swear you had licked before but instead the button was empty, cold, and colorless. you probably questioned your own sanity, right? a piece of your reality?? that wasnt as you thought it should be? because why would reality lie to you!

well...... thinking youre crazy? literally the definition of gaslighting! i thought i was crazy for so long because people just... stopped appearing on my dash! imagine how this impacts people with shakier grasps on reality! (shout out to them btw <3 youre doing so great, i promise you this world IS real)

anyways...... i want to keep this short and sweet. if you have to remove someone from your digital world, PLEASE:

DO NOT SOFTBLOCK.

ok to reblog <3

[elysianstarl1ght]

hello tf2 community!

um, hi! i wanted to make an introduction for myself (because twitter is falling apart) so, hey! my name is cosmic, i have adhd and am likely autistic! i wanna start doing things on tumblr like growing a following, and just doing stuff cuz this place looks cool! so um yeah!!

im not sure how this stuff works so you'll have to bare with me for a bit, until i get used to this </3 but anyway some stuff about me!

my current hyperfixation is tf2!! as you can tell lol. some other interests of mine are astronomy, tmnt, lego monkie kid, warframe, horror (the whole genre), genshin impact, undertale, vtubers/nijisanji, ponytown and much more!

i started playing in february 2023!! i am very new lol (but apparently good...? according to some people...? idk about that)

i main scout and medic! i mostly play bootcamp wave 666!

im a scout fictkin and kin sniper, medic and demo!

i love all the mercs!! but demo, scout, sniper, pyro and soldier have taken over my brain the most!

im a writer and artist, and am currently writing a fic for tf2! it's very canon divergent and i'm still figuring out the general order of events, but i'm working on it <3 and super excited for it! trust me i will post about it nonstop

i have some uncommon headcanons that i'll probably talk about alot (pyroscout/flashfire and transfem soldier are just some)

YES i have watched emesis blue YES i love it YES i would love to talk with you and YES I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY TF2 WITH YOU and YES I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT HEADCANONS WITH YOU. i am ALWAYS up to talk about silly mercs!!

i.. havent read the comics... i'll get to it this summer i promise /gen

um.. yea i think thats all!! if you recognize me from twitter... uh hi PFFT anyway yeah!! thats it pretty much!! um... i hope i did this right aheh i dont want this to flop...

well um yea! i hope i can make myself a part of this community ahehe

[kimchicollardgreens]

even if there’s a solution to a ���problem”, someone can still talk abt how they don’t like said problem… you know that right? it’s always “then ignore them” or write them yourself”… who says that ppl don’t do that already. it was one opinion. no one was demanding black writers to not write wtv they want, the person only shared their view and everyone went crazy… you legit wrote a think piece over this. There shouldn’t be fighting yeah, but maybe ppl should stop feeling butthurt over opinions. users make the most trivial things a bigger issue on tumblr, legit arguing with a minor lmao

i ask you to read all of this before sending another ask, its another “think piece” but its literally the answer to why what these woman are askin is lowkey problematic and i dont blame folks for not noticing dogwhistles. im also not say all “soft girls” are spouting this stuff. (hell im one of them). im also not calling these women evil, cuz they may not truly know what they saying is problematic as we live in a capitalist yt supremacist system. im more than happy to answer more. im not somebody that gon dismiss you if you wanna have discourse💖

but yes, you can talk about a problem when its in good faith as it actually cultivates productive insight. but bad faith arguments distract us from the real problems that both groups actually want to see fixed. however we need to acknowledge that most ADULTS who come with this “soft life fic” opinion be in bad faith.

bad faith is trying to get us to come back to things both parties already agree on. we all agree that soft fic aint seen much. what we are saying is why you keep coming in the dark/urban fic inbox stating it for people who have no problem with you? we’ve assessed the “problem” and we all agree it needs fixing. its like we running in circles, instead of different directions to fix other problems. the question is how are you going to contribute to fixing it in a healthy way and how do you want us to help.

im sure cherry and her friends would love to recommend a homegirls work so long as shes respectful. HELL I’LL EVEN DO IT!!!

tho i don’t recommend coming into blogs who are strictly dark and askin’ them for anything other than that. just like how soft writers don’t want to primarily write dark.

its not butthurt when you come on someone’s page calling them “ghetto” “baby mamas” then try and position it against “soft life” “divine feminine” “old money” aesthetics.

im not saying thats what this little girl did, but ive seen grown adult women do that. and thats nasty as hell to be positioning that.

the reason she probably caught flack is because she unfortunately used a simple question thats been hijacked and used by bad faith arguers when they come to urban fic accounts.

thats usually the question to get a leg in the door to start spouting off lowkey antiblack and classist shit.

and i dont know where soft being only afforded to the croquette looking girls came from. some of the softest girls i know are high fem baddies. so thats very weird, especially when you consider that black women make up majority of that aesthetic.

essentially its respectability politics and thats why its not trivial. to most, this looks like a minor creative liberties dispute, but the underlying theme is actually steeped in so much politics that affect black women for real.

i mean just look at the whole bonnet and pajama pants debate. or the straight hair or braids for your birthday/formal event debate. or the wigs vs natural hair debate. baby mama vs wifey debate (if you believe how a woman carries herself in a way thats nondestructive to others, is a reason as to why she doesn’t deserve respect; you not a feminist.)

its grown folks bratz vs barbie all over again.

not even gon hold you, i didn’t know that was a minor. just reblogged @chrollohearttags post on my dash. anybody doing anything other than telling that little girl to get off they page is a weirdo. but cherry made a general post thats been a topic of discussion AMONGST BLACK WOMEN since we’ve been writing stories. so ofc thats what my “think piece” is about. she may have commented one question but some iteration of that same question has been around for years. i’m responding to that.

since i now know this is a minor, they could have very well been wanting to know why there is a saturation of these fics on here. and i would have told her about the culture of urban fic being ONE of the first pioneers in Black Smut Fiction. it literally helped shape the black writing culture whether bad or good. then i wouldve told her that when she’s older she could contribute to said culture. but right now she should not be consuming any sexual media.

and to ask a question like that, its clear she has some gripes about the way general media treats black women; which those are well-founded. i understand hating the “ride or die”, or the “settling for less” when it comes to media for black women. but how can you read about a specific aesthetic or lifestyle and immediately know thats was going on?

these women used to have valid points and some still do but like this little girl, they cant tell the difference and if they can, they want any kind of reputation for “ghetto” girls out the window. there’s nothing wrong with being “ghetto” and nothing wrong with being a “the soft divine feminine” but we do need to talk about why the latter feels comfortable coming on someone like cherry’s page too disparage girls who aesthetics and social values don’t align with them.

writers like cherry aren’t advocating abuse, their characters are living they best lives. doing “ghetto” shit and truly loving the partners they’re with.

there are legit women out there who are “ghetto” that love they life. and are in healthy relationships. its vile to say that the way someone simply chooses to exist is a direct result of how black women face abuse, especially as something as silly as wigs, body con dresses and long nails. or even activities like twerking, having babies, doing drugs and partying.

its kinda like this whole Sukiana situation vs the Home Depot girl. Both were sexually harrassed but people tried to victim blame Suki more cuz of the way she dress and act. thats nasty. (plus there was no versus to begin with cuz neither one deserved it)

like there IS something to be said about how women who tend to write urban fic -at least in its early days- really do live the lives they are writing about. granted, looking back, some of these women were so unhealed that they ended up romanticizing abuse. but most girls now understand that you can live a hood lifestyle and not put up with bullshit.

somewhere along the way, the “city girl/ghetto/high fem” aesthetic got associated with abuse, crime, and poverty. which is crazy cuz girls who look like JT be havin’ money, a good life and still have plug/rapper boyfriends who not killing or getting them killed.

so if these women would be honest, its not about the way the “urban” girls look or behave. the real problem is the abuse that these women face.

which i see how thats a problem but abuse doesn’t correlate to aesthetics and its not a causation of abuse either.

soft girls can experience abuse. they experience financial, domestic abuse, sexual abuse. these women who hate urban fic, keep forgetting that the soft girl is modeled after the tradition yt housewife who faced abuse too. just cuz you get out the hood and get a financial stable man that isnt a plug or gangbanger dont mean he not gon beat yo ass or expect loyalty when he do some dubious shit.

yall ever seen the Stepford Wives?

now you can have the vintage look without the vintage values, but thats not what most of these women who come onto cherry page be talking like.

they disagree with any depiction of your so called city girl —whether good or bad.

it’s counterproductive to feminism. it quite literally antichoice feminism which is a huge problem with feminism today because it relies too much on this yt viewpoint of responsibility politics. i suggest people really read “Hood Feminism” by Mikki Kendall.

anyway thats whats been making people like cherry become upset and rather than having patience, they ain’t got no more to give cuz they keep having to defend themselves and explain why talking like this is a microaggression. they exhausted.

anyway im free to talk more, if i didnt explain good.