#questionable etiquette

[100yearoldcomics]

August 11, 1922 The Five Fifteen by E.C. Segar

[ID: Uncle Amos and John Sappo stand around in a park, happily smoking - Amos his pipe, Sappo a cigar. Children mill about behind them. /end] Amos: Ain't it nice to be out here in this park among the children? These big cities have fine parks, all right.

[ID: Amos walks off. Sappo stands and watches curiously. /end] Amos: There's a cute little girl over there. I'll give her a penny. [INFLATION GUIDE: In 2022 dollars, that'd be like giving a kid 18 cents. /end]

[ID: Sappo rushes after Amos. /end] Sappo: Hey Uncle, come back here.

[ID: Amos approaches a young-looking woman with a large sun hat, white blouse, short black skirt and black high heels. /end] Amos: Hello, little girl, would you like to have a penny?

[ID: The girl turns around and reveals herself to be significantly older than Amos expected. /end] Girl: SIR!! Amos: ?!?

[ID: Amos faints into Sappo's arms. Sappo fans him off with his straw hat while he calls for passersby to get help. /end] Sappo: Will somebody please call an ambulance! Passersby: ! ! ?

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[inky-duchess]

Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: Tea

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

Today will be focusing on the rules of tea with this time period.

Tea was a staple in society, not only as a comforting beverage but as a social gathering beset by strict rules. Etiquette at tea is not only important for guests but is a sign of respect to one's host.

High Tea vs Afternoon Tea

You're reading both terms and you're thinking high tea is the formal version and afternoon is informal. In fact, no. It is the opposite. High tea was actually served far later, about 6pm/7pm and focused on more savoury, substantial dishes. High tea was more of a lower class tradition, designed to fill the stomachs of hungry workers. The word "high" is derived from the tall tables used. Afternoon tea is served at 4pm, designed to fill the gap between lunch and dinner. Afternoon tea is served at low tables with all the guests seated and involve a lighter meal, more nibbles than anything.

Hosting and Attending Tea

Tea is an event that happens every day, it's not an excuse for a snack, it's a ritual. One can have tea served in one's own home or at the home of a friend. One must be invited to tea, one can't just show up and expect to get fed. Tea was typically served in libraries or drawing rooms and done times outside in the gardens if weather permits. One had to dress for tea usually in comfortable but appropriate clothing. Men would wear suits, women would wear tea gowns or a simple gown - keeping their hats upon their head, if they are visiting. Tea was not poured by the footman but by the host or if it is a large party, by one assigned guest. The hostess or designated tea pourer would serve themselves last.

The Tea Set

Tea sets are highly coveted and much remarked upon at tea. One would usually inherit a service (that's what the collection was called) or be gifted it at one's wedding. Services would all match and most households had different kinds, the best usually reserved for important guests.

Teapot: the tea pot held the hot water and tea leaves was was usually made of china and decorated.

Cups: the cups were generally low, shallow.

Saucer: a small plate for the cup to rest on

Tea cannister: where dried tea leaves would rest until needed.

Sugar bowl: was a small container made of china with a cover to protect the sugar from moisture.

Milk jug: a container for the milk

Slop basin: was a porcelain dish used for disposing tea leaves left behind with the dregs of tea.

Tea spoon: small spoon used to stir tea

Side Plate: small serving plate used for food.

As you might have noticed, other than a tea spoon, cutlery is not listed. There would be a spoon for jam and a knife for a scone, most food was designed to be eaten with one's hands.

There is also one instrument not listed here and it's the most recognisable thing at afternoon tea.

The Tiered Tray

The tiered tray is a set of trays stacked upon one another holding on each one, a different course. Sandwiches and savouries were served on the bottom (Favourites include smoked salmon, cucumber, cress, egg salad sandwiches), scones on the second and sweeter delights served on the top (sponge cake, macaroons, pastries etc). One would begin ay the bottom and work one's way upward.

Making the Perfect Cup of Tea in the Edwardian Era/Belle Epoque/Gilded Age

Disclaimers: Let's make one thing clear. Tea is not prepared one way for all. Tea is culturally important across the world and every culture has their own rules about how tea is consumed and served. There's no one right way.

I will be discussing the English way of brewing tea in this post.

As mentioned before, tea is held in a cannister before use. Tea leaves were added to the hot water and lightly stirred.

Controversially for most people, milk was commonly added first.

One would then set a strainer in one's cup, tilting the pot. The strainer will catch the leaves and leave your cup almost tea-pulp free.

With the tea added, one could add in sugar. The trick is not to make a show about it or be too loud. One simply should gently turn your spoon from the 6 o'clock position to the 12 o'clock position. Also, the spoon rests on the saucer when not in use and doesn't stay in your cup.

When drinking your tea, put your pinky down. That's an American myth. Simply lift your cup to you, lifting the cup to your mouth by the handle. Saucers are not lifted unless your cup is far away. Don't slurp it, there's plenty more where that came from.

Etiquette at Tea

Afternoon tea is for light conversation, do avoid heavy topics.

Listen attentively when being spoken to.

Don't talk with your mouth full or stuff your mouth. Typically everything should be polished off with 2-3 bites.

Gloves should be removed at tea because one is eating with their fingers.

If one is leaving the table to go to the bathroom or a breath of air, simply turn to your neighbours and excuse yourself. No explanation needed.

Napkins should be removed from the table and set across one's lap when one is sitting down. When finished with tea, set it beside your plate before you rise.

Also you daub, not smear.

Don't cut your scone but break it.

Don't lick your fingers.

Don't bang the spoon on the side of the cup.

Also there's no dunking biscuits into your tea. It's just not done at afternoon tea.

Never thank the staff for fetching anything - or at very least, don't be overhead doing so.

Always say your goodbyes to the hostess and compliment the tea, even if you had a rubbish time.

Also most importantly, never criticise somebody else's manners. That's the height of rudeness.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Wichita Beacon, Kansas, January 4, 1922

[reality-detective]

[snakebites-and-ink]

People who host or participate in discord servers, how do you feel about lurkers? Or mostly-lurkers? People who want to see what's up but are generally too shy to say anything?

Tagging @whumperofworlds and @painsandconfusion because I've seen you both sharing servers

[teaboot]

A question for folks whose name doesn't match the one on their ID

I work security. Sometimes I have to check ID's for membership and no-go and age restriction reasons. Repeatedly interacting with people after I ID them is common.

Is there a polite and chill way to ask, "is there another name that may be on the list?" Or, "what would you prefer to be called?" Without putting them on the spot?

Most people see me as a random cis person so I'm especially worried about putting other genderqueer people on the spot, and I also don't want to risk making the lovely lady with the She/Her pronoun pin correct me if I have to find her and only know her as "Nathan".

[destiniesfic]

Since I just gained a bunch of followers and I'm going to hazard a guess that some of you are new here (or returning after a long time away), want to talk about some Tumblr basics? First up, tagging.

You can put spaces in your tags on Tumblr! This is very exciting and often why you'll see people putting commentary in tags—because they can.

It's usually considered more polite to put commentary in tags, so as to leave the original post relatively uncluttered. I find this to be especially true of visual posts like fanart and GIFs. The best time to reblog with a comment is when you're actively looking to engage in some kind of dialogue with the post you're reblogging.

Tag commentary is kind of like a whispered aside. On my own posts, I often use that space for post-scripts of a sort. I have done this at the bottom of this post, for science.

On posts that you create, tags help other people find your post through their searches. It used to be that only the first five tags on a post showed up in a search, and now it's the first twenty.

If you are interested in a topic, you can follow its tag. So, for example, if I'm interested in [throws a dart at a board] seeing Daemyra content, I can follow that tag and posts from the tag will show up on my dashboard from time to time. Here is how to follow a tag and manage followed tags.

(It's worth noting that Tumblr uses ship portmanteaus but also sometimes longform ship names, so if you're posting your original Daemyra content it's often wise to also tag it "rhaenyra x daemon," "daemon x rhaenyra," and other variants as well. Remember, up to twenty of them count!)

Tags—of both your original posts and of your reblogs—also help organize your blog. I create specific tags for posts and answered questions about my fics that I try to use every time they're relevant to make it easy for readers (or, you know, me with my goldfish memory) to find them. Here's the tag for Out of Time.

You can organize your blog, or not, however you want. I also choose to tag characters prominently featured in a post, the media property shown, and so on, mostly just for my benefit. Here are most of my original and reblogged posts featuring Daemon Targaryen. Some people get very, very granular with their tagging, but some don't tag at all. Dealer's choice!

Lastly, Tumblr has pretty robust content filtering, so don't censor yourself in tags or in the body of your post. If you post, say, #p*neapple and someone is trying to avoid posts tagged #pineapple, you might accidentally ruin their day.

[monologuebroadcast]

Heyy sup!!!!!

Rlly random but what's ur fav Gerard hair era??? (I hope I worded that correctly)

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! I love his yellow strands he looked so cute 😭😭😭 thanks for the question!!!!

[pollsnatural]

If Dean had to choose

This poll is inspired by caskarass-archived's post.

[silverskye13]

Are you ok with being directly tagged in any fanart of your fics?

Yes! I prefer it in fact.

When people don't tag me sometimes I worry about reblogging it. I don't like invading peoples' privacy, and I know sometimes folks get nervous about the creator of the thing they made their thing for seeing the thing they made for it [I'm also that person lol].

Generally if its tagged under the fanfic's title, or people @ me directly, I take it as my sign that I'm allowed to interact with it.

[100yearoldcomics]

August 8, 1922 The Five-Fifteen by E.C. Segar

In which the Sappos continue their bizarre crusade to make everyone in the house wear shoes. You know, because you'll "catch cold" if you don't wear them.

[ID: Uncle Amos sits happily in an armchair, tamping down the contents of his pipe with an index finger, his cane leaning against the side. He's wearing wool socks on his feet. /end] Amos: Johnny, when are you going to take me in with you to see the city? Never been to the city in my life. Born and raised in "Hog Holler," you know. Sappo: Oh, some day.

[ID: Sappo walks in and points at Amos's stocking feet. Amos just smiles and smokes. /end] Sappo: Say, Uncle Amos. You'd better put your shoes on. You'll catch cold. Remember, you're an old man. Amos: Don't you worry about that, Johnny. I've went around in my socks fer forty years.

[ID: Sappo grumbles into the other room to complain to his wife. /end] Sappo: It's no use, I can't make him put on his shoes. He won't take a hint and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Myrtle: Heavens, what if company should come!!

[ID: Myrtle goes into the kitchen and spills a container of pepper on the table. A gust of wind suddenly blows the pepper into the room behind her. /end] Myrtle: Good night! I spilled the red pepper and it's all blowing into the other room. My, such a draught.

[ID: She turns around curiously at a noise from the room. /end] Amos: KA-CHOO, KER-CHOO, KER-CHOWIE Myrtle: ?

[ID: Myrtle giggles behind Amos's armchair as he grumpily pulls his leather shoes on. /end] Amos: I reckon Johnny was right. I'm getting too old to go 'round in my sock feet. I've caught cold all of a sudden. (sniff) (sniff)

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[inky-duchess]

Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: How to Dress

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI.

I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

Today will be focusing on the rules of clothes with this time period.

A Cut for Every Occasion

As you may know, the wealthy elite and their servants lived extremely regimented lives and every aspect was governed by careful rules. They would be expected to wear the right outfit at the right time, every minute of the day. Any misstep would be noticed at once and be subject to scruntiny.

In the circles of the elite, one would be expected to change for every occasion. One simply wouldn't wear the same outfit they've been lying around the house in to attend tea at somebody's house. Fashion in this era was dictated by the clock and by the event diary of the wearer.

Ladies

Women of the upperclass would be expected to change at least six times a day. When she would rise for a morning of repose around the house, she would simply wear a house gown or a simple blouse and skirt. If planning a morning stroll, she would change into a walking suit which is a combination of blouse, skirt and jacket along with her hat usually of tweed. If running errands or paying a visit to friends, she would wear another walking suit. If riding, she would wear a riding habit and a hat. If hosting tea or taking tea in her own home, she would change into a tea gown with is a lighter more airier gown more comfortable for chilling in. If attending a garden party, one wears a pastel or white formal day gown accompanied by a straw hat and gloves. For dinner, she would change into an evening gown which would be more elaborate and show off a little more skin than her day wear. After dinner and ready for bed, she would change into her nightgown.

Female servants had an easier time of it. A housekeeper and lady's maid would simply wear a solid black gown for the entire day. A cook and kitchen maids would wear a simple day dress for working with an apron. Housemaids would usually wear a print dress with an apron and cap, changing into the more formal black and white attire you would associate with a maid.

Gentlemen

The gentlemen had an easier time but they too were subject to changes throughout the day. Men were expected to wear a suit. The most popular day time suit was a sack suit. These were comprised of plain and loose fitting jackets, worn over a starched shirt with a high collar, waistcoat and straight trousers with ironed creases. These suits were exclusively wool with cheaper ones made of a wool and cotton blend. Grey, green, brown, navy were usual but sine younger men preferred louder colours such as purple which was a trend for a time in the 1910s. These suits were worn about the house or in the city accompanied by a coat. Men would change into tweed if shooting or walking. For garden parties, a gentleman would wear a light coloured suit, usually white and a straw hat. For dinner, a man had two choices: his tails or his dinner jacket. A dinner jacket was for less formal suppers say if dining at home. This was a collection of a jacket, trousers, waistcoat, a bow tie, a detachable wing-collar shirt and black shoes. Lapels of these jackets were edged with silk or satin. Tails were worn at a formal dinner party, at White Tie events. This was made up of a tailcoat, white piqué waistcoat, a starched dress shirt with a pique bib and standing wing collar with a white bow tie. Trousers were lined with trim to hide the seams.

Male servants were soared changing. Footmen would wear their livery around the clock which would resemble white tie to a certain extent or mimic court dress of palace servants. Butler's would wear a variation of a gentleman's evening suit throughout the day. When a male servant is dressed, he usually stays that way. However, a valet or a footman may be taken to pick up during shooting parties where they would wear tweed walking suits.

Jewellery

Jewellery was an important sign of status in society. Upperclass women of this time has access to untold caches of sparklers but there were rules concerning their use and meaning. Earrings were usually clip ons as women of high status would not pierce their ears. Simple, understated earrings were worn during the day with more ostentatious sets were worn in the evening time. Broaches were popular at this time, usually worn at the throat of a gown or blouse or walking suit or affixed on hats. Large stoned rings were worn over gloves while slender bands were worn under. Jewellery was intricate and understated amongst old money whole the nouveau riche went for chunkier stones and larger settings. Tiaras were only worn at White Tie events, held after six pm and almost never by unmarried girls. One would not wear a larger tiara than that most senior lady present. Men would wear tie pins, cufflinks and pocket watches to match any occasion be it for a jaunt on the town or at a formal evening party.

Hats

Hats were a staple in this period. Anybody respectable from any class wouldn't venture out of the door without a hat.

Men would wear hats when heading out but always remove them when entering a building, and never wear one without removing it for the presence of a lady. The bowler was seen as more a servant's headwear while a top hat was reserved for gentlemen. Flat caps would be only seen on gentlemen at shooting gatherings or in the country, they were popular among the common class for any informal occasion.

Women had more stricter rules concern hats. Hats for women were more a day accessory worn while out and about. A woman would not wear a hat in her own home even when entertaining and nor would any of the other female occupants if joining the gathering. A woman would not remove her hat when attending a luncheon or tea or any activity. Hats were held in place by a ribbon or sash tied under the chin or by a hat pin, which is essentially a large needle thrust through the hair. This was the period where women's hats became more ornate and rather large, leading to some critisism. Among servants, housekeepers and lady's maids would not wear a hat while indoors and working but a housemaid or cook or kitchen maid would cover their hair with a cap with housemaids changing into a more elaborate one come evening time. Male servants would not wear hats unless travelling or outdoors.

Gloves

Gloves are a staple in this period and worn only at the opportune time. Among servants, only footmen would wear gloves and usually only when serving. Butlers would never wear gloves. Female servants did not wear gloves.

Men did wear gloves, usually woollen or leather while outside or riding gloves when out on horseback.

Women wore gloves whenever outside. Day gloves were usually wrist length, with evening gloves stretching to the elbow. During dinner, evening gloves would be removed at the first course and laid across the lap, replaced at the last course when the ladies leave for tea and coffee after where the gloves are then removed again. Gloves are always worn when dancing and at the theatre or opera. If one is sitting in ones box and sampling some chocolate, one can remove their gloves for that.

Hair and Makeup

Make up was a no-no amongst the upper crust and for their servants in England and America, as it was seen as licentious but in France, the use of rouge was accepted. Perfume and cologne were acceptable but excessive use was frowned upon.

Hair was dressed by one's lady's maid. Bouffant updos were popular in this time period for married women. During the last years of this period, women began adopting the 'bob' but this was seen as radical and sometimes scandalous. Unmarried girls could wear their hair down, often with accessories like a bow to adorn their tresses. Servants would always tie up their hair and never be seen with it down or uncovered (though this depended on their job).

Men would comb their hair, slicking it back for dinner. Most men were clean shaven but if they wore beards, they were usually well groomed. Hair was kept short for grown men and teenagers but young boys may wear their hair longer whilst in the nursery.

[lurkingforthesakeoflurking]

just saw a couple of gh0apers upset on twitter cuz a gh0ap fic they were reading had untagged ghostroach n I can't help but think it's a bit funny

[adnauseum11]

what is the etiquette around tag lists? If someone asks to be added to a tag list but never interacts do you just keep tagging them? It feels like a waste of time to continuously tag someone if they're not really interested. Or am I to assume they are interested from the request alone and just keep tagging them?