#rambing about writing

[narastories]

ramblings about writing longfic

So as you probably know by now I've been busy writing a chunky little fic over the summer. I wanted to look at the statistics of the process and ramble a little.

We got permission from Bob (@dresdenfilesbigbang) for a little vagueposting, although I don't think this post will even count because I'm not going to talk about the fic, I'm just going to use the process as an example to make a few points.

This time, I've used NaNoWriMo to track my word count, and that is the first thing. If you are motivated by tracking your word count, this is your reminder that besides being a yearly event, it is also a great tool that you can use all year around. Plus, you can create a project with any time length or word count, not just 50k in one month. I actually started off with 20k as the word count, since that was the minimum for the Big Bang, but ehm... well, it soon became clear that 20k is not going to be enough lol Point is, you can also update your goal as you go and it doesn't mess up anything in the slightest.

And I guess November is coming up if you want to do NaNo "proper". I did that once, and it was great to just see that I could. But honestly, 1600 words a day is way too much for me and I don't see the point. I would rather write 50k words over 3 months and push myself less. With the NaNo pace if you miss a day it really puts you behind, and that is just plain stressful.

Which brings me to my second point. If you look at this graph, your first thought might be "oh that looks so linear and disciplined" ...

(Well, okay your first thought may be "why the heck doesn't it start from zero?" I've written 5k before the start date, okay? It was a sort of "proof of concept" to see if this story was going to work out. And it's not like it was cheating, I've still written way too much lol)

And you know, you kind of would be right, I've neatly stayed above that dotted line, sure.

But then you look at my daily word count graph, and it looks like this:

(Again, ignore the anomaly of the first day please lol)

What I'm trying to say is this: if you write often enough, over a long enough period of time, it will look like consistent progress.

You don't have to write every day if it doesn't work for you. You really don't.

And I think it's nice to just pay attention to your process if you decide to start a bigger project because it will give you valuable info about how you work. And it will make writing the next longfic or bigger writing project easier.

My first multichapter work on AO3 is still unfinished at the 75%-85% point mark. I was posting it as I wrote and then I hit that point which now I know is critical for me. Now I know that when I'm 3/4 done with a fic of this size I usually want to go in and move things around, have a little crisis, and generally that I just go back and forth between writing and editing a lot. And because of that, posting as I write is a really bad idea for me.

So I guess the most crucial thing you can learn is how you write, and then everything will become a little easier.

Also, since this is a Big Bang fic with a deadline, it will drop all chapters at once which is something I haven't done before. Very exciting. (To me at least. To other people probably not, because of the tiny nature of the rarepair. But that never stopped me, has it?)

[frankenjoly]

AUs I wanna write at some point: BSD edition

sskk + Gin where they meet at the orphanage as kids and then leave together which may or may not have tpn references despite not being a full tpn au

sskk + Gin mermaid au in which both siblings are mermaids Atsushi is a human and Things Happen

I don't have the full idea but I kinda wanna do a regular school au to have Gin wear the girl's skirt and the boy's tie as Najimi from Komi does with their uniform

Oda lives au (not beast) in which Ranpo tells Yosano about him and somehow they get there right after the Guide fight to heal him up aaand there’s ranposano and odazai crumbs

I’d be lying if I said the kunikidazai + baby Atsushi spy x family au isn’t tempting

there’s more actually but I gotta sort stuff out (the sskk call of the sea au which I don’t dare to try rn)

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

I think I've decided my gender is willful Shakespeare men

[roturo]

KILLIN' ME GOOD -professor!gojo x reader

warnings: smut, teacher/student relationship, p in v sex, unprotected sex, bondage, dacryphilia, spanking, jealousy, degradation kink, fluff, porssesive behavior, age gap, (reader is +18), semi-public sex, car sex, lingerie, use of vibrator, whimpering, switch!gojo, humiliation kink, sadist behavior, s/d dynamics.

A/N: i wanted to write this one a long time ago! i really liked it, was really fun to write and also really cute! i've been quite busy with work but i'll try my best to continue writing!, i really liked this writing so reblogs are appreciated. :)

professor!gojo who’s been teaching you to be a sorcerer not even for two months, but already knows your favorite color, food, what type of music you like, what you search for in a guy, and why you’re becoming sorcerer. he knows more things but won’t say them out loud.

professor!gojo who won’t team you with any of the boys because he says ‘it’s just a distraction for young people’ but the truth is, he can’t tolerate seeing you with another man, trying to hide all the feelings he has for you.

professor!gojo who gives you the hardest questions in class so he could see your frustrated face trying to give a coherent answer. professor!gojo who loses all his senses everytime you decide to use a skirt because every ten seconds he thinks about you and gets hard.

professor!gojo who starts feeling things he never thought he would feel. professor!gojo who never thought to really fall in love for a girl but just a quick fuck until he met you. professor!gojo who thinks you’re dangerously sweet but what a good thing he likes sweets and danger.

professor!gojo who is impressed by this new feeling you make and is entranced in every little action you do, making you unique. professor!gojo who’s been pumping his cock for 5 minutes in an empty classroom trying to find release after you made him hard with just a smile at him.

professor!gojo who gave you detention because you were a little bit too talkative with yuuji today and he doesn’t want you to become distracted in class, so when you go to detention after class he’s waiting for you.

professor!gojo who lays you down on his desk and starts eating you out while scissoring you, telling you how much he needs you.

‘I’m gonna’ fucking mark my territory with you today. ‘m gonna show you what a real man is.’ His words sound muffled while trying to talk and eat you out at the same time. Not letting himself waste any of your liquids, making sure every time you walk you would feel his tongue inside of you. 

professor!gojo who wouldn’t take it anymore and is rambing inside of you with all his force while you moan his name. 

‘Y-You.. A-ah!~ Little slut.. My little slut.’ His thrusts became harder with every word he said, his balls hitting your ass, a red mark appearing on your right cheek of how much he had slapped you.

professor!gojo who would overstimulate himself just to watch you cum again in his cock.

professor!gojo who would wait for you at the end of the class to give you a peck on the lips and wait for you to leave so he could fuckhimself because with just a small touch with you he gets hard.

professor!gojo who would buy you lunch everyday because why not? he has a lot of money. professor!gojo who would spend his money on you, saying you’re the only one with to spend this much money.

professor!gojo who would buy you personalized lingering because he loves your body in the colors of his eyes.

professor!gojo who would end the class sooner because he couldn’t bear your teasing and needed to have you right now.

professor!gojo who doesn’t let you cum and loves watching you cry for release on his cock.

‘Why don’t you ask Yuuji to make you cum, huh? You were all over him some moments ago like a whore mh? That’s all you are, no? Just a filthy needy whore.’ professor!gojo who would use his blindfold to tie up your arms and use you as a cum hole.

professor!gojo who would buy a vibrator for you to use in his class as a punishment and play with you, making you answer all of his questions while he plays with the velocity of the vibrator.

professor!gojo who would humiliate you in front of the class asking who gave you that hickey knowing damn well he’s the owner of it. everybody giving you teasing stares and asking if you have a boyfriend while he just proudly smirks at himself watching you get all flustered.

professor!gojo who made sure that no other guy would feel like him, touch you like him, fuck you like him… love you like him.

professor!gojo who would take you on dates in the most expensive restaurants in tokyo to treat you for being a good girl.

professor!gojo who would later ruin your makeup and hair while fucking you in the car because of how good you looked tonight. 

professor!gojo who would give you a bracelet with his initials.

professor!gojo who wouldn’t expect you to use it everyday, telling everyone you have a boyfriend, but not saying who.

professor!gojo who would be whimpering your name while you give him a handjob, saying a lot of ‘i love you’s’ and ‘thank you’. feeling brand new and so loved thanks to you.

professor!gojo who only wants to listen to you and follow you.

professor!gojo who says you’re killing him good with how perfect and good you are for him.

[suugarbabe]

You are SO amazing love, never let anyone tell you any different. I WILL fight them 😤

Tysm for considering wolfstar!daughter, i think youd enjoy the current fics that are currently out for it. Most of them are x fred or george and it just reminds me of you everytime.

Sorry, this is probs going to be long 😬

For the prompt though, i imagine they came about reader when remus found her on a full moon as a toddler werewolf, abandond in the forest (last yr hogwarts or graduated doesnt matter, whatever you decide) and when Sirius finally finds Remus the next morning he's shocked, confused, and then melts. Big, tall, broard Remus has this small bundle of cuteness wrapped in his sweater trying to cuddle into him.

Whether youd like to continue on from there or do reader growing up or a time skip is up to you. Same as if James dies or not, whatever your brilliant mind decides 🧡 but if it helps this is how i see the family dynamic:

I think Sirius would be the overprotective kind of dad, never failing with that wonderful sense of dramatics!

While Remus is the calm voice of reason that talks himself down when he feels like he might be going a little overboard.

Of course we're Uncle Reggies little star, he will be mean to another child if they hurt you. He and James are constantly arguing over who's the better uncle.

James is the uncle that gives you alcohol illegally and doesnt adhere to a curfew.

So skip to hogwarts in some of the last years (im a ravenclaw so i always imagine reader as a ravenclaw but anyhouse would be fun to explore) and reader makes it official with Theo or Enzo. Harry's a tattle tale and tells his dad who then brags to Reggie, who the apparats him self the Sirius' to demand answers because "who was this vile thing that dared touch his star?? Boyfriend?!?! Fucking over his dead body!!" Fully expecting Sirius to agree with him. But he doesnt, he just sighs because at least they made it til 6th/7th yr before boys started, he'll give the poor boy a chance first. And then Remus bursts in and has a full meltdown. Thats his little wolf; his baby. She can have a boyfriend. A BOYFRIEND!?! He might puke. No this isnt allowed. Boys are gross. And nasty. And theyre going to hurt her. But not before he hurts them!! He's going to put the fear of godric into this boy! RIGHT NOW!! Wheres his wand? He needs to go to Hogwarts.

Its so unexpected that both Black brothers are frozen. Until Remus starts searching for his wand and Sirius has to calm him down while Regulus goads him on. And through all of it, reader and Enzo/Theo were standing at the door to 'meet the parents'.

And then however you want it to go from there love! So sorry that was soo long and rambely. Of couese no pressure to write it and take whatever creative liberties youd like!!

Thank you love x

The group had made an agreement that the girls would all get a flat together, as would the boys. So naturally Sirius, James and Remus planned and found one for themselves that was 'absolutely perfect' as Sirius put it since it back right up to a large patch of woods; 'Perfect for you, Moony'.

In the moment Remus had rolled his eyes, but truly he was thankful. By the last full moon of school, Remus had managed to transform back to himself without completely passing out. After the fourth full moon in the flat, Remus was able to still decently function after his transformations.

What neither Sirius nor James expected happened and they didn't know how to react initially. Sirius and James had lost sight of Remus toward the end of the night, now both transformed back to themselves looking for him.

When Sirius found him, he didn't expect the scene he walked upon. Remus shoulders were hunched over, and at first Sirius thought he was crying. But the closer he got, he realized it was not Remus making those noises, but...a child?

"Moony...what the bloody hell is that," Sirius voice was cautious, he was still convinced he might be hallucinating.

Remus turned around slowly, "She's like me, Pads. She...she was a tiny little wolf, I swear it." Sirius was skeptical, but the way Remus was looking down at you, every doubt was melting away. The way your tiny hands gripped on to Remus's sweater.

When Sirius got close enough, you reached out for him, and he was done for. When James caught up with the pair he had the same initial reaction. But like Sirius, one look at you and he was also convinced.

It had taken the girls no time to swoon after you, and the boys were forever grateful. While Remus declared himself your father (Sirius demanding his was Dad number 2). James became your fun uncle (funcle as he called himself, Lily rolling her eyes each time).

To say it had taken a village was not just a cliché, but reality. Sirius was every over protective father, having a flair for the dramatics any time anything happened, good or bad. Remus was more calm, essentially the voice of reason when Sirius was talking circles. You eventually became the perfect mix of the two, which they both loved.

When you got your Hogwarts letter Sirius threw a party, Remus thinking it was a little over the top but Sirius insisted, "Our little star got her letter, we're celebrating Moony." Regulus had brought you off to the side, insisting you owl him if anyone is mean to you, he'll come and fix it, "Even if it's another little twat kid, you let me know, okay Star?"

After fourth year, James let you try his beer for the first time. Sirius lost his mind, Remus reminded Sirius how much worse he was at your age and that if James was letting her try it that it was a better situation than he used to get in to.

What you didn't expect was the commotion that ensued during Christmas holiday seventh year. It was tradition for you and your dads to throw a party on Christmas Eve. You were putting the final touches on the Christmas biscuits you usually made when a loud pop sounded in the living room.

"SIRIUS GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!" The voice of Regulus rang throughout your house and you instantly froze. Sirius sauntered in, not bothered by his younger brothers tone, "Seriously, with the shouting Reg, what is it now?"

Regulus looked over Sirius shoulder at you in the kitchen before turning back to his brother, "How could you let her, huh? How could you let her do this, with a Slytherin no less? My little star? Who is this vile snake you've let touch our little girl, a boyfriend, Sirius, really?"

You held your breath, fully expecting your dad to lose it, go full on dramatics, but instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose, "Honestly, Reg, calm down. I'm surprised it took us till seventh year for her to finally decide to get a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful," he turned pointing at you, "but I trust her, Reg. And you should too. She's not like us. Really though, darling, a Slytherin?"

Sirius turned to face you and all you could muster was a shrug of your shoulders before your father burst in. "WHAT did I just hear? My wolf has a WHAT? With a WHO? Darling are you mad, who is this boy? A boyfriend? Oh my Godric, I think I'm going to be sick. Who is he, star? Who, tell me now. I'm getting my wand. Sirius, my wand now."

Remus held out his hand expectantly, but nothing happened. Both Regulus and Sirius stood frozen, mouths agape at Remus's reaction before a sly smirk crawled its way onto Sirius's features, "Oh my my, Moony, this is a sight."

At that moment the Potter's all appeared, the air obviously thick with tension. James looked between his friends, "Oi, what did we miss?"

When you saw Harry you were instantly enraged, your inherant traits from Sirius coming in to play, "You little fucking rat, you weasel, you knew I was going to tell them over break, how could you tell Reggie before I could tell my parents, I'll hex you Potter, I swear it!"

You started after Harry, only for James's strong arms to lift you up by the waist and hold you tight, "Woah there, mini Sirius, calm down. I think this might be my fault. Harry told me out of concern and I might have boasted about your feats to Reggie."

You went slump in your Uncle's grasp, "Uncle Jamie...how could you." You were pouting as he sat you down, giving you a tight hug, "I'm sorry, star, I was just so dang proud of you."

You looked over at your parents, Sirius now rubbing Remus's back who was pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a knock on the door, causing everyone's attention to switch towards the distrubance.

Walking towards the door, you looked back with your hand on the handle, "Be nice." The marauders and Harry held up their hands in defense, Regulus crossed his, "No promises."

When you opened the door, Enzo stood there, cheeks slightly pink. "Erm, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" You laughed slightly out of embarrassment, "How much did you hear exactly?"

"Enough to know I'm more afraid of Professor Lupin than Sirius," he whispered as he followed you through the door.

"Dad, Father, this is Enzo. My boyfriend," You gestured toward Enzo who gave a shy wave.

Remus placed his hand on his own chest, "Oh thank god it's Berkshire. I was really worried, star dear. Really worried. Thought maybe it was going to be the Nott boy."

This caused both you and Enzo to laugh, Enzo speaking up finally, "Merlin, no, sir. Nott's afraid of Y/n actually. So you've done a good job."

"Don't start kissing ass just yet, Berkshire," Regulus stuck a finger out at the boy.

"Uncle Reggie. Behave," you scolded him like a child, he looked down at the floor like one, too.

Sirius stepped forward, extending his hand, "So sorry, my boy. I'm Sirius, Y/n's father. You've met Moony, erm, Professor Lupin, her dad. He's sorry for anything you may have heard through the door."

Enzo grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly, "It's alright, sir. It's a pleasure to meet the men who've raised such a strong woman." Enzo smiled at you affectionately, causing you to blush in front of your family.

"Look at that, Moons. Our little star is growing up," Sirius wiped a faked fear, while Remus was holding back real ones.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose like your dad had done earlier, "Alright, who's hungry, hmm? Shall we eat?" You led Enzo towards the large table. Everyone followed suit, both Regulus and Remus grumbling slightly.

As you sat down, Enzo gave your thigh a squeeze. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, "Star, huh? That's cute." You side-eyed him, giving him a slight glare, "You tell anyone, you're a dead man."

Enzo grinned to himself, "It'd be an honor to die by your hands, love."

Across the table, Sirius gave Remus's thigh a squeeze, "She's growing up, Moons. Our little star." Remus nodded, pouring himself some brandy, "That she is, Pads. Our little wolf is a woman now." Sirius scoffed, "She still needs us though right?" Remus nodded, smiling, "We'll always be there for her."

[hetalvetia]

Rashi! I know you like these two and this is just the part I'm comfortable with sharing, but here ♥️

~~~

They spent more and more time together - not just for tea, but for friendly chatting - and Arthur's oddities became cute to Kiku. He helped Arthur with his fae-connected projects when his usual partners were otherwise occupied: still unsure about the validity of them but Arthur's dedication was admirable and Kiku quite enjoyed watching him. Arthur updated Kiku on his embroidery projects in return for knowing how Kiku's writing was going. ...Kiku still hesitated to show him all of it, but Arthur's enthusiasm was encouraging.

When Arthur showed up at his door drunk one evening, Kiku wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't often he dealt with drunk people. But he accepted Arthur's sudden hug with startled grace, awkwardly patting his back as Arthur slurred something into his neck. Was he upset? Was he happy? Kiku couldn't tell and either way he guided Arthur inside to sit down. He had heard enough stories of Arthur Kirkland's drunken foolery to know it was safer for him to be where Kiku could keep an eye on him.

He wasn't prepared for the compliments. No amount of flustered protests silenced Arthur; if anything they made him insist on his compliments more. But accepting his compliments was far better than allowing his friend to go out and embarrass himself for the umpteenth time.

The next morning Kiku made Arthur breakfast and didn't bring up any of what had been said. But things were different between them in a way Kiku couldn't explain. It had to be him; what Arthur had said played in his mind on repeat. The words affected him more than Kiku had originally realized and if they had been no more than drunken rambings, he didn't want to know. So he kept the memory to himself and never broached the subject.

But Arthur was different as well. Kiku couldn't place how - just that there was something different about the way Arthur acted around him.

Arthur was still odd. And cute. Kiku enjoyed spending time with Arthur, even with this new whatever it was between them.

Over his cup of tea, he asked Arthur on a proper date before he had time to fully think it through. But that was how this relationship had begun so many months ago, so why shouldn't this happen in the same manner? Arthur's stunned expression was cute. The way he cleared his throat and seemed to hide behind his tea did nothing to rid his face of the obvious pink now coloring his cheeks.

"I would love to."

OMG !! I'm sorry I was busy the whole day but I was rushing to get everything done just so I can sit down and read this (and I haven't stopped rereading it since).

I love them oh so much 🥹💖 gahhh seeing a drunk Arthur shamelessly drown Kiku in compliments (sooooooo adorableeeee...) and it not being able to leave Kiku's mind... THEY'RE SO CUTE 🤧💖 and so so in love ... the way they're taking it so slow, any advance is enough to leaved them stunned and flustered for days ,,, the cutest ever 🥹💖💖 I love your writing so much FoL, I'm rolling around in my bed giggling as I type this gfhfhhd

[theywantedplayer]

Can you please write about Arber xhekaj and a trainer? I feel like the forced proximity would make it so good! He’s always getting in fights so maybe she jokes about him just doing it to see her or something? Thank you!!

“You so have a thing for the new first aid chick��

 Kirby teased Arber, they were warming up for their game against the Las Vegas golden knights

“Ha ha” Arber sarcastically responded

“ you go to her for everything”

“ I do not” he tried to defend himself

“remember that one time you split your lip and went to the medical room you were in there for almost the whole third period” Kirby reminded him

 Arber knew Kirby was on to him he was a tough guy so a split with nothing to him but he just had to take any chance to see you

“ she's got the magic touch man” he Shrugged]

“ yeah  Touch on your dick”  Kirby sung out as he skated away

 The game went on and the Habs were up to making it 3:00 to 5:00 the second period was when things started to go south for Arber. Just his luck he took a puck to the nose he quickly rushed off the ice with a small trail of blood flowing behind him on the ice.

 as he walked through the tunnel people and management tried to talk to him but he made a beeline for the room he was looking for

 he swung open the door and a wave of relief washed over him when he saw you. you knew what happened before he was even in your medical room. you were glad you had a small monitor in the top corner of your room so you could watch the game.

 Arber knew what to do he sat down on the medical bed holding his nose the best he could you quickly grabbed some tissue and handed it to him as you grab some other supplies you could feel Arbers eyes on you with your back turned to him and when you turned around you are proven right seeing Arber was  staring at you.

 you both knew what to do since he was in there quite a lot. You gave him a soft smile and stood in front of him. He moved his knees out of the way so you could stand in between them he hoped that you would but you never did in fear of overstepping.

'You really like seein me dont ya" you joked

Arber just smiled up at you

 he was and can be intimidating on the ice but you started to notice the more he came in here the more calm he was

“ okay I'm just going to take off your helmet you need to keep the tissue on your nose” you told him

“ I know the drill” he smiled

 I light laugh fell from your lips as you pulled off his helmet black strands of his hair fell over his forehead so you swiped them back making him smile at your caring  action

“ I need you to tilt your head up” you Told him

 Arber did as he was told you lightly grabbing his rest and pulling the tissue away from  nose

“ How bad is it doc?” Arber joked making you laugh

God he loved your laugh

“ it's not looking good we may have to amputate” you played along grabbing a Q-tip and wetting it just slightly to clean the small cut  under his nose where the puck made contact

 Arber laughed at your joke “ now how would that work?”  he questioned

“ I don't know it was the first thing that came to my mind” you laughed

 As you continued to wipe the blood off the best you could, Arber never stopped staring at your face. He loved the way you focused really hard when you cleaned him up, the way your brows knitted with concentration when you  finished you noticed a small smile on his face.

“ what” you shyly smiled

“ nothing” he tried to play off

“ no what is it  you've been staring at me this whole time” you told him as you threw away one of the Q-tips”

“I just-”

 Arber couldn't believe what he was going to admit but he couldn't stop himself

“ you know why I'm here all the time?”

“ yeah because you getting to fights” you stated but you saw Arber's face twitch slightly at your words and you try to explain your words the best you could without offending him

“I mean it's not a bad thing I think it's great I mean I get worried but I know you can handle your own but still” you rambled on

 are we just smiled at your rambling he knew he fought in hockey lots and he was fine with that he just watched you ramble until you noticed the smile creeping up onto his face

“ sorry” you shyly apologized rubbing your arm

“ no don't apologize it's cute” he said

 you felt he begin to brew in your cheeks you've always thought Arber was very attractive when you started working with the Habs you were very nervous but all the players were very welcoming you've gotten to know Arber the best and quite well since he's in the medical room lots but before you could respond he started talking again

“ Remember when I split my lip last week?” he asked

“ yeah and you were whining like a little baby” you laughed remembering

“ okay I wouldn't say like a baby” he laughed “ what I'm trying to say is I was fine,”

You gave him a confused look

“ when you started working here I thought you were so pretty and I found myself getting flustered around you like how you are with me right now”  he admitted

 he was right you were getting very flustered you tried to hide it but you couldn't stop the blush from showing on your face at his words

“ I just wanted to get to know you and I didn't know how so these little moments were all I had”

“ why didn't you ask me out or do something out of work” you asked

“ because if you said no it would have been sooooooo  awkward” he groaned leaning back making you laugh

“ So what are you trying to say?”  you questioned

 wanting to make sure you knew where this was going

“ damn it Y/n  I'm trying to say I like you…… a lot at the point where I get hurt and hockey and I get excited I get to see you” He confessed

 you couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face at his words

“ really?”

“ yes really”  he admitted

“ I really like you too……….. a lot” you smiled now standing in between his legs Arbor couldn't help but place his hands on the back of your thighs

“ what a coincidence that we both like each other” he joked

“ I know right so weird” you played back

“ so remind me again of what two people do when they like each other” he asked

“Mhhnm yes  well what the guy usually does is go back out on the ice and finish the game” you smiled 

Arber was fine to go back into the game and play, the cut under his nose was small and harmless.

“ if I'm being honest I think I'm fine right here”  he smiled

 you grabbed his helmet and shoved it lightly into his chest he took the hint and slowly got up and walked backwards towards the door stopping in the doorway

“Arber you have to go” you laughed softly shoving his chest but he stayed put

“ wait for me after the game” he told you

“ I'll be here in my lare”  you gestured to your medical

“I just wann-” “ XHEKAJ LET'S GO!!” Someone yelled

 making him turn his head but he quickly turned back to you before you could even  say anything he grabbed you by the waist pulling his lips into yours you were shocked at how quick the kiss was but it's still left you breathless when he pulled away and started  to hustle down the tunnel as he yelled

“ wait for me”

“ like I told you I'll be here” you yelled back 

[indignantlemur]

🌟

OH MY GOODNESS, ANON, I AM SO SORRY! I didn't see a notification about your ask at all! I only found it by clicking on my inbox by mistake! You have my most profound apologies for neglecting you! For this one, I feel like rambing on a bit about Chapter 46!

Spoilers below the cut for folks that haven't caught up to the latest chapter!

Chapter 46 picks up shortly after the end of chapter 45, and is a much more introspective and static chapter than the previous two, which were full of vibrancy, colour, and activity.

For the most part, I wanted this chapter to be about Dagmar and Shral and how they've progressed from the early days - but more importantly, it was an excellent time to address some lingering questions that had been hanging over Dagmar's head for a while now. Dagmar has mentioned that she has a bunch of questions before, but she's never actually managed to find a moment to ask some of them that felt right until now. There is a lingering sense of strong attraction throughout the scene, of giddiness and excitement, but it's balanced with caution and reserve. As much as I had fun writing spicy content for Dagmar and Shral after so long, now wasn't the time for the scene to lean towards that again. This chapter was supposed to be about intimacy without sex.

There's a bizarre and terrifying intensity about letting a new partner undress you for the first time (chapter 45 doesn't quite count), and for some there is a horrible, profound anxiety and sense of vulnerability that comes with that as well. There's a lot of non-verbal checking in, which is just so important, but also there's the way that Shral reaches for her face first above all other options that speaks of a kind of regard that bodes very well for their future. It's very much a deliberate choice on his part.

As the chapter progresses, Dagmar finally asks a very important question, which leads to a much, much overdue conversation between our intrepid heroes. We also see more about the level of insight that Dagmar now has into Shral's character, where before he was still very much a mystery. She's able to puzzle out a lot of his behaviours now, with the help of the bond, but she's also aware that without the fledgling bond she may never have managed. Moreover, Shral is hyperaware of this as well, and was agitated enough about it to conveniently neglect to mention a few small details that provided him with a sense of affirmation without him having to actually ask for it.

“I should have explained at the time,” Shral murmured when she remained quiet, his eyes flicking down and away as his antennae lowered into a posture she hadn’t seen on him before; curled close to his brow in submission. She’d witnessed that positioning before, of course - usually when Thoris was bossing someone around - but never on Shral. Never towards her.  He was behaving as though he expected her to be a lot angrier than she was. The fact that she hadn’t reacted according to his expectations seemed to confuse him.  “I’m not angry. I could have asked then and I didn’t,” Dagmar began slowly, watching Shral carefully as his antennae perked up and he glanced up at her again. The bond seemed to swell with a feeling she struggled to name, but whatever it was it left the impression of disbelief mingled with several other very complicated feelings. It dimmed considerably when she continued, “but I would like to know why you didn’t say anything.”  “Foolishness, mostly,” Shral answered, brutally honest in the quiet of the room, as water dripped and steam curled. “And perhaps a little selfishness.”  That last bit caught Dagmar’s interest. “Selfishness?”  “I knew you didn’t realise what it meant…” A grimace stole over Shral’s features, but he held her gaze and spoke with that same blunt, upfront tone, trailing off abruptly as if he hadn’t figured out how to finish the sentence yet. That alone was unusual. 

For the record, this is not a good behaviour and even Shral recognises that. Dagmar is rightly dismayed by the whole thing. If it had been much more alarming issue being discussed, such as a binding arrangement versus what she flippantly describes as advertising big feelings, she probably would have been justifiably angry about it. The fact that Shral very clearly knows that he was in the wrong both helps his case and hurts it, here. Instead of getting angry, Dagmar takes the time to consider the matter - and her reaction - carefully. This is probably what I love most about Dagmar: she can be reactive under the right circumstances, but she vastly prefers to stop and think things through more often than not. Dagmar tends towards problem-solving over emotional outbursts more often than not, and this conversation is no different.

Instead of choosing the confrontational route, she bypasses it entirely by expressing a gentle, remarkably forgiving sort of disappointment in Shral's choices and proposes an alternate course of action in the future. It's very clear to them both that they need to make an effort to talk more openly at this point.

Not bad! Actually a pretty mature approach to the issue overall! You know, except for the bit where Dagmar conveniently neglects to mention that she's planning on harassing her poor doctor for a basic Andorian sex ed class in a few days, which would explain a lot of her weird behaviours to Shral at that moment.

This is also not ideal behaviour, and in fact rather hypocritical of her. Does Dagmar realise this? No, no she does not.

Shral’s eyes, vividly green and flecked with gold, narrowed shrewdly at her. “Perhaps you should lead by example and elaborate about your experiences with our security checkpoints.” 

Shral, of course, immediately turns the tables of Dagmar using her own words against her, and then we come to The Hair Thing.

Shral is understandably dismayed and displeased to learn that his girlfriend basically let the security officers paw at her hair, which is apparently vastly more important to her culturally than he'd previously been aware of, instead of just asking for him to come vouch for her. Worse, she demeans the value of her customs and culture like it doesn't matter - like she doesn't matter - which is blatantly insulting to both of them, really.

“I see.” Shral sighed, and the bond carried a strange kind of weight across the gap between them. It felt heavy, stifling. “I’d better ask if I’ve overstepped similarly, then.” 

Then there's the dawning horror of realising that he basically did the same thing not an hour ago. Actually, what he did was probably worse. After all, what would Shral know about it? She's as alien to him as he is to her, after all, and if Dagmar says her hair is supposed to be kept up and away from prying eyes for some sort of alien modesty thing, then he's very probably made some kind of horrendous faux pas by yanking on it during sex. Never mind that she pulled his hair, too (and we will discuss Shral's incredibly slutty hair cut some other time) - he's Andorian. It's not the same.

The scene progresses from there, and we learn a little more about the bond as well. By the end of the chapter we get an idea as to how their dynamic has shifted from this single conversation, just a little, to something just a tiny bit stronger than before.

“Are all Humans so adaptable?” Shral wondered with a narrow slash of a smile, shifting in his seat. Dagmar couldn’t imagine he was particularly comfortable on that footstool after so long - it wasn’t exactly designed for comfortable sitting. “Or are you simply determined to surprise me at every turn?”

By the end of the chapter we've learned that Shral is an uptight, emotionally constipated man who dislikes ambiguity in any form and yet also has a very low confidence level where his ability to predict Dagmar is concerned. He thought she'd be angry with him - she wasn't. He thought she'd uncomfortable with the bond and avoid using it - she wasn't and very clearly didn't. Earlier in Chapter 45, he'd most likely expected to be some kind of celibate for months according to some cursory research on her strange, alien customs - she threw that idea out the window immediately. Even in some of their earliest interactions, Shral's simple prediction that Dagmar would dislike vithi on principle, since Humans seemed somewhat averse to especially bitter things, was completely off. At every turn, Shral fails to entirely predict Dagmar. He can make accurate guesses most of the time, but every now and then shejust randomly jukes left when he anticipates her going right, and it's both utterly maddening and terribly interesting.

Whatever else he might feel at the time, Shral is never bored when Dagmar is around.

Alright, that's it! Ramble: completed! Thanks for the ask, anon! <3

[die-schwanenkoenigin]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @dummerjan, thanks so much, friendoooo, you already know I love being tagged ❤️ (also, sorry for taking a few days!!)

1) Are you named after anyone?

No

2) When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday, at work, out of frustration.

3) Do you have kids?

Absolutely not, lol. And I don't want any, either. Too much responsibility, too expensive. (My fiancée doesn't want any, either.)

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to play tennis. I actually played for about... eight years, I think? I never really enjoyed it, though. My coach wasn't great. Besides that, none. I did use to enjoy basketball in school, but never played it outside of PE class.

5) Do you use sarcasm?

Not quite as much as I used to. I actually think I probably use it more in text messages and online than I do in real life these days lol

6) What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their face and their, like... vibes? I guess?

7) What's your eye color?

Brown

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I don't like scary movies.

9) Any talents?

I'm really good at languages. I used to speak quite a few. And just in general, I pick things up super fast. I actually finished my apprenticeship/training with an average of 98%, making me the best in the whole of Germany. Oh, and I write fanfic, which I'd say I'm quite okay at?

10) Where were you born?

Quite literally in the middle of Germany (Thuringia).

11) What are your hobbies?

I like to play video games, write fanfic, listen to music, and cross stitch.

12) Do you have any pets?

No. Sometimes I do wish I could have them though.

13) How tall are you?

1.62 m or 5'3"

14) What was your favorite subject in school?

I loved English and French. And German. Mainly grammar and spelling, though. Never been a fan of interpreting and all that 🥵

15) What is your dream job?

See, I wish I knew. It's been ten years this year since I left school, and I've still got no clue what I want to do. I sort of want to be some kind of translator or interpreter or something, but then again... do I? Do I really? I just don't know. And I can't seem to figure it out.

I'm going to tag @agaywithcoffee, @magic-coffee, @agentpolarbear, @awomanontheverge, @sporkmetender, @guardianrock, @wickedheadache, @nachdenklich-tj, @lilolilyr, @dustnfeathers, @farminglesbian, @ramb-of-god, @whodoesnataliehave, @reginasbread and @harrytoad. But as usual, none of those tagged have to do it if they don't want to.

Thanks again for letting me do this! 💕

[superstar-ethereal]

(LAST UPDATED M9/D15/Y24)

finally doing an intro post woo!!

i go by ethereal, aether, cassidy, or star(mainly star on here but i'm fine with whatever!)

i use any pronouns with a pref for they/it/fizz/charm

my main fandoms atm are fnaf, danganronpa, genshin, vocaloid/project sekai, mcr, and bsd

↑current biggest ones are danganronpa and mcr, but i'm not really the type to leave a fandom for good, so i'm still happy to talk about/engage with the others!

i'm Incredibly Sane And Normal about kokichi ouma

↑i don't talk about him much but he occupies half of my brain capacity at all times

i'm a reality shifter (and manifester!). non-shifters are allowed to interact, but fighting me about it is a swift way to get blocked

↑also adding onto that i started my shifting journey around M2/D19/Y23

i have pretty bad audhd, please be patient with me ^^

my other accounts are @windblume-star(my fanfic account/my account for rambing about characters when i'm too embarrassed to do it here), and @just-a-spam-sideblog(my account for spam-reblogging things so it doesn't cloud up my main one)

xenogenders and aromantics/asexuals(yes, icluding cishet and allo/amato(respectively) folks)belong in the lgbtq+ community. if you disagree, the door's that way ←↑

my main hobbies are reading(fanfiction), writing, making kandi/perler stuff, and playing video games

i make typos and the likes a bunch, so please tell me if you need something corrected!

↑also i use caps lock a lot

↑↑alsoalso i swear sometimes

i'm in CT but my sleep schedule is ass so there's zero guarantee when i'll be awake (except for noon because that's when i take my meds, but i often go back to sleep right after so that doesn't count)

tags under the cut! <3

#☆||starry reblogs -- for reblogs

#☆||starry talks -- for original posts by me

#☆||starry answers -- for responding to my asks

#☆||starry gets tagged -- for posts other people tagged me in

#☆||fanfiction -- old tag for fanfic i reblog. don't really use it anymore, though, since i have a whole seperate blog for that (tagged somewhere above)

(all these tags are pretty self-explanatory, but my main fandom tags are #danganronpa, #genshin impact, #vocaloid, #project sekai, #mcr, and #bungo stray dogs)

#general humor -- for non-fandom things i find funny

#positivity -- for nice little messages :3

#important -- self-explanatory, for important posts

#serious talk -- for posts that are less fun and silly

#lgbtq+ -- for all posts regarding the queer community

#lgbtq+ history -- for the things that led us to where we are today, good or bad

#queer rights -- what it says on the tin. posts about discrimination, lack of access to proper medical care, new laws or acts(or warnings about possible future ones e.g. kosa), etc.

#conversation -- for back-and-forth reblog chains between me and other people

#personal collection -- a curated little trinket box of all my favorite stuff on here

#adhd -- for all posts regarding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

#routine reblogs -- for tumblr holiday posts i keep up with (mainly just out of touch thursday)

#shiftblr -- for all posts regarding reality shifting and the community around it

#reblog bait -- for anything from 'reblog if you support acting cringe on the internet' to 'not reblogging is a moral failure'

#silly reblog bait -- specifically for things like 'reblog if you support acting cringe on the internet', tagged along with the above for tag blocking convenience

#unofficial pinned posts -- for things i'd pin if it was possible to pin more than one post at a time

——————————

i may or may not add more to this later but for now that's all i can think of so bye!! have a good day <3

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

hii so I'm like a super ultra silent reader of your content bc I am deathly afraid of my liked posts showing up on my friends' feeds. but I had to somehow let you know that even though you seem to be having some sort of burnout and unhappiness with your writing, as someone who's very very picky about what writing I even enjoy, your writing style and skill is definitely some of my favorite on the app at all. I totally understand being unhappy with your own work since I'm an artist too (albeit a visual artist so, not quite the same here but the idea applies), and I can relate to being unsatisfied with whatever it is you're putting out there. but basically, I just wanted to let you know from an outside view, your writing is extremely eloquent and well-put-together and organized. you can tell your writing is created with a lot of thought and time put into it, which is why it's so easy to enjoy. and side note, I LITERALLY haven't been able to stop thinking of your last post since I read it yesterday which almost never happens 😭. honestly even though there's like 5 gepard fans on here so he gets practically no content from anyone, I'd still prefer to have your writing carrying the "fanclub" of sorts over a large crop of posts from lots of people that isnt very well-done or thought about. I know you said this recent post may be your last one for a bit, so please, PLEASE take your time with whatever's next!! your stuff is always very much worth the wait ❤️ and please do take care of yourself and don't push yourself too hard.

(by the way, you totally don't need to post this on your profile or respond to it at all, I just wanted to send in some kind of message about it since as I mentioned, my paranoia prevents me from interacting with your posts directly 😞)

CRYINGB UGLY SOBBING OMGOMGOMG

It surprises me when people say I don’t need to respond because I can’t keep such a nice note to myself 😭 but I do the same thing when I’m sending asks so I totally get it (I’d get this tattooed on my forehead if no one stopped me)

i had NO IDEA I had a super ultra silent reader so this was an absolute joy to get. There was a post I saw earlier about how in fandoms, it’s either you talking with a small group of friends or your door is open and people come in and listen to you ramble. I’m definitely the latter. I’m so fortunate to have so many people invested in my story lol, because like most things I write, they start off as daydreams in bed. I’ve never written one out before, but I’m SO GLAD I DID.

And honestly, if I were to release something the quality I wanted it to be, it would take ages of rereading and refining. Unfortunately im not a very gifted writer, but all the practice I’ve gotten due to being obsessed with gepard has helped me a bit. I just have to remember that haha

Some less coherent thoughts

ITS EASY TO UNDERSTAND???? YAY IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHH

i actually based my style off the wings of fire series, i don’t know if y’all are familiar with it, but the introspective humor was so fun to me as a child. (Also I love using Chekhov’s gun as a crutch I’m sorry guys) it also stemmed from the worry that readers wouldn’t be able to visualize what I was picturing, so that ended up in a LOT of describing scenes early on. With no metaphors so it was just like. (Y/N) set the cup down, (Y/N) put the laundry in the washer, etc. hahaha it makes me laugh looking back on it

it also makes me absolutely kicking my feet giddy that it’s invaded your brain. I love giving people brain worms and inflicting emotional damage on them. And gepard ALWAYS shares posts with other Hsr men like. The absolute middle child treatment. But I’m glad I’m doing my part to bring something to the table that’s different than the usual 1k words he gets sandwiched in between five other people.

it makes me so so happy you think my writing is organized and well thought out, because I do put a lot of thought into it!

I’ve run out of words to say but i might come back to this to ramble pfft

i hope that fic gives you a good supply of serotonin for days to come 🩵🩵

[silverameco]

Sirius : I wanted you to leave with me, I wanted to save us.

Regulus : I didn't want to be saved, I didn't want to leave. I wanted you to stay. I wanted you to drown with me.

This is literally the embodiement of the tragedy of siblings being raised in an abusive household. Regulus is wrong for that. We all know it. Sirius knows it. Even Regulus knows it. But it doesn't matter. Because sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes when you are a child and you have been hurt by the people who were supposed to protect you, you know nothing else than survival. Except for some surviving is leaving, and for others surviving is the one person they trust staying with them. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong, it doesn't matter that they can't see the whole picture. This is what abuse does to siblings. They're each other whole world. Sometimes it's what breaks them apart. I can't wait to write about that. Anyway I'll stop rambing now.

[fishybehavior]

ok so let me spill some stuff about my mermaid au

ok so i've been thinking too much and now I has some lore??? (idk tell me if this sounds cool or lame as hell ok??)

So basically Cole, Kai, Nya, Lloyd and Zane are all mermaids, they're all between the ages of about 18 to 21. and they are all sea witches in training (so basically their elemental powers, and im calling them witches cause they do have some innate elemental control but their more powerful magic are stuff like spells)

in the seaside city that Jay lives in mermaids are common and actually interact with humans a lot. To messing and stealing from fishermen, to some helping people and doing jobs, to some small amount of trading. They keep mostly to themselves but them interacting with people isnt uncommon either. They stay at the coastal town ocean every spring and summer before migrating to warmer waters for the winter. (I am also thinking that they might have their own like underwater city in southern ocean too)

now I'm also tempted to make Jay half mermaid. Like half mermaids happen, but they are rare. Sometimes they are born with tails and live in the ocean with their mer family, and sometimes they arnt born with tails and are raised by their human fam. Jay had no tail, and Ed and Edna found the poor baby alone on the beach. And of course they take the child in. But even though Jay's half mermaid he really doenst have alot to show for it. No scales or patterns, his ears arnt pointy, nor are his fingers webbed like other half mers. He does have pointy teeth and tiny lil gills that dont really work, and he can stay under water for like 10 minutes without needing air. But thats kinda it. He's a lil to mer for other humans and way to human for other mers, so the dude is just really upset and frustrated by all this

but he did get one cool thing from his mom. He does get elemental powers...

sorry this si so disjointed and rambely, it took me way too long to actually write this down and if i dont post it now i'll never post anything about it :\

[stargazer-sims]

Yeah, it's more of me rambing about characters/writing... sorry.

We like to say that the characters tell their own story and we're just along for the ride, and to some extent, that's true. We may have creative control, but anyone who has any experience with character creation knows that the writing won't work if you try to force a character into doing something they wouldn't do. That's how you know you've created a good character, a dynamic, three-dimensional and real character. They'll tell you who they are, what they believe in, and what they're willing (or not willing) to do.

It's that sort of thing that got me thinking about Nikolai and his indecisiveness over his relationships. I made a joke a while ago while answering one of those "ask the writer" memes about whether or not my characters fight me. I said they don't usually fight me because I know them well enough to know what they want, but in Nikolai's case it was more like he didn't know what he wanted and went, "You're the author. You decide." So I did. And I may have been wrong.

Nikolai and Ginger are great together. They're best friends and they connect on a fundamental level, but I'm starting to think they're not meant to be a couple. Or if they are, they're going to be a platonic couple because neither of them is entirely comfortable with the idea of romance and intimacy with one another. To be clear, they're both very comfortable with romance and sex in general, so that's not the issue. They know they love each other more deeply than a typical friendship too, but they've come to realize they can't seem to get past the hurdle of being besties.

And Nikolai still thinks about Mishka. A lot. And he feels guilty about it sometimes, and doesn't know what to do.

The upside to Nikolai and Ginger's relationship is that Anya has finally decided to stay away from Nikolai. She might've been able to intimidate Mishka, but Ginger won't put up with her shit.

But still, it's not going how they (or I) imagined it.

[newtonsheffield]

Molly, I do not know the number and variety of messages you receive. But I'd wager the positives far outweigh the negatives. I just don't understand how you let one negative comment completely derail your plan for a story.

I mean the corners of the internet are filled with people who just dislike everything. Some of your last posts also threw me off, with you talking about performance. Your fics have typically done so well. A lot of them making it to the top of the kate/Anthony tags in terms of kudos and hits. Yet, I didn't see you as someone who cared about the performance. I don't know what I'm trying to say in my rambing, but I feel let down on how quickly you abandon a work simply cause of some negative comments

Hi, I’m sorry you feel let down, I honestly am. However I would like to explain a few things before, as I’ve said: I don’t want to talk anymore on the matter.

Usually criticism doesn’t bother me, normally I have a fairly thick skin however, as I’ve said, recently I’ve been having a very difficult time in my real life. The details of which, frankly, I do not owe you an explanation of. This has left me with a slight aversion to wanting to manage conflict when I have free time. I use writing here as an escape, something easy and unrelated to my everyday life and stresses. In the past I have ignored the warning signs in the response to the first chapter of a fic and have ended up bitterly defending them until the end. Please keep in my that I publish about an eighth of the messages I receive on a daily basis. I simply, at this point in the year, do not have the energy to devote to that for this fic. I’m sorry if that is disappointing to you, but it’s true.

With regards to fic performance, in general, no, I do not care about this. And yes, as I’ve mentioned countless times; I’m very grateful and appreciative that a majority of my fics are well loved by a number of people. However, when 10-15 messages are received every day requesting updates I need to be realistic about where the demand is. Are there fics that I love that have been outperformed by those I don’t enjoy so much? Absolutely. That’s how the cookie crumbles sometimes but I need to be realistic and what content people want to see.

Finally, this: I am not sure some realise the reality of my writing schedule. I work from 7am to 7pm most days which means a lot of my writing happens very early in the morning and late I’m the evening. I get up early and I go to bed very late to try and provide content for people who enjoy it and that’s something that I enjoy doing. But it is difficult when it’s faced with criticism, no matter what that might be.

Let me be very clear on what my last few posts were saying: My mental health is suffering at the moment. And I need time for things to return to normal. I’m sorry if that’s letting you down, I feel let down by myself but there it is.

[kittyqueersfishnships]

mostly rambing becuz YESS SOMEONE ELSE THAT GETS IT you being suicidal becuz its forbidden and your believes about death and people assuming that its becuz of depression and can only be sad and hopeless and alone-feeling and guilting you about it 🤝 me haveing eds becuz of sensory issues and people assuming am trying to lose weight weight and recovery places assuming that am a cisgender teen girl that wants periods and big boobs and a big bum and to give birth with a husband 1 day so thretaning me with losing those is a good idea + "eat this thing that makes you physically sick for meeeee"

(i mean. everything ed related making it about my weight kinda did make me insecure about my weight but my point my point resist urge to write ed recover tags hate novel) we should kill the bodily anatonamy acceptability boxes/moralizing mental health stuff together hand in pawed hand (/silly)

also!!! agreein with bell i love you n would be sad if you died but isnt up to me!! i hope that whatever happens after you die you have cat friends!!

SORRY FOR NEVER RESPONDONG TO THIS OUPPY ♡ HAVE BEEN DYING AND ♡'M FINALLY GETTING BETTER AGAIN ALSO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE CUTE STUFF IN ᰔ INBOXES AND FOR THIS!! :DDDDD