#rather than edit the code

[thunderclangens]

yeah that’s about right

[ulteri0rm0tives]

I still think about my mutuals tag where he said that he thinks Johnny feels so much and so deeply that it literally drove him crazy. And yeah. Just think about it constantly. It's. The statement I associate with him. The first thing I think of when I think of him.

I really, really, really dislike when people paint Johnny as this totally unfeeling asshole. Or at least, I heavily disagree with it. That's not to say he isn't an asshole, he 100% is. He's a jerk to the people around him, and of course there really is no excuse for how he treats people. But explanations =/= excuses.

I feel when people try to paint him that way, it comes from a place that lacks understanding or even an unwillingness to understand. This goes hand in hand where I'll see these people call him an unfeeling asshole while using terms associated with cluster b disorders and using the social weight they carry to demonize him, a very prevalent problem reflected in society and internet pop psychology culture.

They'll take the fact he's a 'narcissistic junkie', and not only at the same time use it to demonize people with NPD, but also drug users. It's just a very lazy way to paint a picture of his characterization, by using loaded terms as a crutch and letting their social weight, using yours and others people's biases, do the job for you. Like man, if you're going to make a critique of his character can we at least actually put some effort behind it.

Like. They think he's a user who's an unfeeling asshole to people just for the sake of being one. They see him engaging in these self endangering, self harming, self sabotaging behaviors and brush it off as nothing more than him being like that simply because he likes it, that he relishes in it even. Simply because he wants and chooses to be like that.

They don't see him using as a way of numbing himself (this especially with the fact drugs are the first thing he goes for when Alt breaks it off with him). They don't see that constant toxic push and pull in his relationships as self sabotage. They don't see the fact him going on that OP was a suicide mission. Literally.

I truly believe he never intended to come back from that mission, evident in his last exchange with Kerry, evident in a LOT of his own lyrics. (Black Dog, Ballad of Buck Ravers.)

Johnny clearly is passionate. He clearly has things he cares about. He clearly feels.

I'd even go so far as to say he genuinely does care about the people in his life, he just simply doesn't know how to show it properly or in a way that's healthy for anyone involved. Even when Alt breaks up with him, and he pushes her away for it, he still ends up chasing after her before she's even left the venue. He still tries to protect her. When Alt gets abducted, and yeah, he's being a leadheaded stubborn idiot about it, he still goes after her.

And even if it's self aggrandizing in a lot of ways, he still cares about her life enough to raid a whole fucking tower for her. Even if it's more in the view of what Arasaka took from him, than what it did to her, he still cares about her in his own way. He still grieves her. He's still broken up when she dies right in front of him, and he still acts out even if it's violent and angry. His grief has ALWAYS manifested this way.

When he sees the headlines about Kerry, he asks V to check up on him, to visit him. He even asks Kerry about it because (I think) it came from a place of genuine worry shown the best way he can show it, a straightforward question and dropping it when he gets an answer, no matter how truthful the answer is. When Kerry gets the idea for a one time reunion, Johnny agrees to it because he thinks 'Kerry needs this'.

I also think people see that he's a very angry person and attribute 'unfeeling' to that. Because to them, to a lot of people, anger isn't a valid emotion nor one with as much value as happiness or sadness. That's it's something less than. Even if anger was all he felt, it's still a feeling. He still feels it. He still feels.

His anger, though it's execution is obviously a problem, it's extremely fucking justified and valid. It's born from the mistreatment of a system that only destroys people's lives. Born from a system that only knows how to take, how to hurt, how to kill.

The same system that took, not just a literal piece of Johnny, but so many pieces of his identity and his life that he literally tries to project himself as an entirely new person to escape this.

Johnny cares about how the system treats people, especially people like him. How it uses people and chews them up and discards them when it's taken all it can from them. Johnny cares so much he becomes not just a voice, but thinks he is- and in a lot of ways he does really become one- a symbol for people like him.

That OP functioned as another rescue mission for Alt, another statement for his ideals, and his blaze of glory to go out on his own terms.

Johnny cares about things. Johnny cares about people. He has feelings. Complicated, convoluted, deeply traumatized feelings. Feelings that are so intense, that it harms him. Feelings that are so intense, that it bleeds from him and harms others, too.

And honestly, I'd say the one and only person he stopped truly caring about was himself. A long, long time ago.

[sea-changed]

The Brutalist script + art

George Grosz, Cafe 1, c. 1920s // Saul Leiter, Untitled (100193), 1950-1980 (detail) // Jerry Opper, Abstract Fireworks, 1940-1950s

[dribs-and-drabbles]

The Thai Communal Wardrobe item #113

That's My Candy ep 6:

Dirty Laundry ep 1:

Last Twilight ep 12:

[roseverdict]

i've fixated on the sticks for the past 7 months and i also just finished watching the first half of rottmnt s1 and also the movie, and i have come to the following conclusion:

this venn diagram is almost completely just straight-up a circle

[wildflowercryptid]

i just realized that if i get awl for steam, i could try seeing if it's possible to free my kids from het-locked romances. 👀✨️

[benetnvsch]

Guys who are normal about their favorite songs,,,,,,,,, yeaaaa

[zipquips]

i made a neocities!!!!

[ssuperrnnovaa]

— WHEN THEY FALL IN LOVE..

or, when there's no turning back for the first years.

a/n: first writing post.. AHH edit 1: i forgot to add things I DIDNT PROOFREAD SORRY

when ace trappola falls in love..

he's still the same guy. but almost sweet, almost kind.

but he's a master of his secrets. parts his mouth just to spew another joke about your appearance or how you did on that potionology test the other day - that same glint of hesitation in his eyes, that unsure croak of his voice just before he delivers another nasty quip about your face. like a punchline stuck in his throat - too funny to laugh at, too funny to acknowledge.

funny how he'd said he'd "rather hang out with his friends than find love", and here he is; laying in his bed. at 3 am. head filled with nothing but thoughts of you.

he'll let it simmer. wait for you to realize - wait for you to notice him, not just the facade he puts up. not the prankster he is in class, or the troublemaker you have to put up with.

wait for you to love him back.

when deuce spade falls in love..

he's trying his very best.

deuce was never much of a charmer - the guy's been a delinquent for most of his life; feared, not loved. he only sees (romantic) love in the movies - terrible rom-coms, poignant love stories.. you name it. deuce has no idea about love.

(his lack of knowledge gets worse with you.)

deuce tries - keyword, tries to keep his composure in front of you. he fails, miserably. his face? turning red. words? none. palms? sweating. and pride? absolutely crushed.

he apologizes to you later, blames it on the heat or how he forgot about another ridiculous rule. calls up his mom and his mouth is a dam - like he suddenly gained the ability to talk 10 minutes later. tells her all about you, as if she doesn't know your entire genetic code just from hearing him talk.

maybe one day.

when jack howl falls in love..

it's unyielding - unyielding, but quiet.

jack doesn't date for fun; never has, never will. he doesn't chase anyone.

wolves mate for life - you know it when jack immediately shuts down the idea of even having a crush or having an ex, saying that he's "focused on self-betterment" or "waiting for the right person". you're convinced that not even cupid could get him to fall in love.

but for you? that discipline shatters.

it happens during a study session in ramshackle when you're idly playing with his ears - making fun of that stone-cold persona when in reality he's melting under your touch. he catches himself after five minutes of bliss, thoughts of the future flooding his brain; "what if i won't be a good partner to them? what if i let them down?'

to jack, love isn't a game; love's not the way he feels embarrassingly giddy after you squeeze his hand or poke his bicep. love's permanent. forever. and it terrifies him.

when epel felmier falls in love..

it's fierce.

epel's not soft - in fact, he's everything but. he'd do anything to be seen as strong by you; even if it meant burying his own feelings.

epel was never much of a dreamer - let alone a lovey-dovey kind of guy. he despises those mushy romance stories, calling them "dumb as a box of rocks", grimacing when he watches the leads kiss.

yet.. he can't help but be entranced. by you.

he scoffs a little too loudly for vil's comfort, but in his head, he's repeating the same mantra over and over again in his head - "i'm not some silly little girl moonin' over someone. i've got better things to do with my time. besides, love is for babies."

yet, his defenses crumble when you ever do so much as breathe in his direction, and suddenly, he's back to square one.

when sebek zigvolt falls in love..

it's fervent.

sebek is passionate about a lot of things - his duty as a retainer, malleus, academics, and you.

you, a mere human that could quiet him down with just a finger to your lip. you, a mere human who keeps him awake at night and restless, overthinking. yearning.

it's foolish, he tells himself. tells himself it's just a small crush as if it's not all-consuming, as if he's not avoiding you all together just so he could have peace of mind.

is it the right thing to do? no. will it keep him unbothered? absolutely not. and will he come to terms with his feelings?... unlikely.

[catt-nuevenor]

A Brief Guide on Uploading ChoiceScript Demos to Itch.io

Since Dashingdon is shutting down, and there will be a lot of folks wanting to host their ChoiceScript demos elsewhere, I thought it'd be a good idea to provide a brief guide on how to do so for itch.io.

This is for Windows in the folder actions, but it shouldn't be too difficult for folks to translate for Mac. This also assumes you haven't changed any of the files within your game folder other than those found under 'scenes'.

Within your game folder, locate the 'web' subfolder, right click it and select 'Send to' then 'Compressed (zipped) folder. Name your newly compressed file something sensible, and I recommend moving it to a new folder outside of your game files, just to keep everything neat and tidy.

2. Assuming you already have an itch.io account, navigate to your dashboard, and click the 'Create New Project' button.

3. Name your project as you like, and under 'Kind of project', select the 'HTML' option.

4. Set the 'Pricing' to 'No Payments', you cannot use ChoiceScript for profit unless it is with the Choice of Games or Hosted Games publishing labels. No one wants to get in trouble unnecessarily here.

5. In the Uploads section, upload your newly zipped file we made in step one. After it's finished uploading, you'll be given one drop down and two tick boxes. You need to tick the 'This file will be played in the browser' option.

6. I've found so far that 'Viewport dimensions' work quite well for desktop at 1080 x 640. Either use these numbers or experiment and find what works best for you.

7. You must tick the 'Enable scrollbars' option for your game to display properly, otherwise options, text and buttons can be clipped off the bottom of the viewport.

8. Continue filling out the rest of the form, or skip it for now and scroll all the way to the bottom to the 'Visibility & access' section. Here make sure you have 'Draft' selected. This prevents others from finding your game until you're ready, and I always recommend play testing things before you make your work public.

9. Finally, hit the 'Save' button, then go and have a look at your creation by hitting the 'View page' link. And there you go! When you're ready for public release, just change the option in section 8 to 'Public'.

---

A few things to bear in mind about hosting on itch.io:

There isn't currently any way for your readers to save their game. I'm sure someone could write in a plugin similar to Dashingdon's at some point, but as for right now, this isn't available. See addition/edit below.

Make sure you properly tag your game with the 'choicescript' and 'interactive-fiction' tags. There are an awful lot of games on itch.io and it's easy to get lost in the crowd. Make sure folks can find you by having the right tags.

I hope this brief guide was useful to folks.

Best of luck to you with your writing!

---

Addition/Edit:

Thanks to @hpowellsmith for bringing this to my attention. You can add save functionality to your game by using this addon:

The ChoiceScript Save Plugin

Just tried it out on my own game and it works perfectly.

Rather than run through the addon author's own tutorial here, I'll just forward you to the Readme on their Github page.

One small note I would add is when it asks you to make the two small additions to your index file, make sure you right click the file and open it with your coding program, don't double-click it as this will just open it in an internet browser, and it won't give you the access to what you need to change.

[lackablazeical]

[Part 1 - Joel / Part 2 - Joey / Part 3 - Katherine / Part 4 - Sausage / Part 5 - Gem / Part 6 - Lizzie]

Jimmy knew what the people needed: a pathetic man

Anyway, design process

I used VERY MINIMAL inspo from finnish n Nordic fisherman/general outfits for his outfits, mostly in the use of leather and burlap

For his human design I just wanted him to be dorky and kinda scrappy looking, clearly made or edited by his own hands. He has a knitted cod hat and a hand-woven dyed rope belt that doubles as a fish net, and ofc a bottle or two of slime tying it together

For his fish form. I based the cod head part on a mix of Cod (duh), dunkleosteus, tiger sharks, and minimally on lion fish. The tail is a combo of fins and a shark tail, along with boney scales and sharp spines. He's very tough and durable

Ofc he also grew arm fins and his feet became more creature-like. Crechur

I also imagine that, while not immune to damage, he's very resistant to it (and resistant to cold :))

Also this is HC-y stuff but I imagine that Jimmy, as a sea God, represents very different things than Lizzie. Lizzie represents more of the Idea of the ocean, it's vast power and danger, the storms it makes, etc

Whereas Jimmy represents the interconnectedness of sea life and the life cycles, I'd even argue he's lowk a land-god rather than specifically a sea God and I KNOW cod are salt water but. He's so freshwater coded srry abt it 😛 he is a being of change first and foremost

Even tho he's a being of change tho he dislikes industry as he believes it is inorganic and ruins natural effort and stuff. Same with magic, there is nothing a spell can do that your own hands can't do better. Also magic hurt Scott so he don like it 😔

Anyway get this post to 200 notes n I'll take flower husband requests 👌 ✨️✨️✨️

Speedpaint under the cut ⬇️

[pukefactory]

•☽────✧˖°˖ CAST NO SHADOWS ˖°˖✧────☾•

★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcanons Featuring Yandere Salesperson ENA X Reader (Angst Edition)

★ Character(s): Salesperson ENA (ENA: Dream BBQ)

★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

★ Warning(s): Abusive Behaviour

★ Image Credits: @JoelG

☆ She didn’t mean to fall in love with you. You were supposed to be a blip. A customer. A weak-willed human ripe for persuasion. Instead, you smiled at her like she wasn’t a fractured system, and now she’s haunted. Haunted by the way you said her name like it meant something. Now you’re all she knows. And she doesn’t know how to let go.

☆ She talks about you in the past tense when you’re not around. “They were so sweet. I loved them so much.” The other side snaps, “They’re not dead. Not yet.” She sighs, tears glitching down her cheek like corrupted files. “But one day they’ll leave. And I’ll still be here. Stuck in the dream.”

☆ Every time you say “I love you”, she records it. Replays it. Rewinds it until your voice decays into static. She listens to it alone at night, whispering the words with you, like a prayer. And when you argue? When you cry? She deletes the tape. Pretends it never happened. Because in her version, you never hurt. And she never breaks.

☆ “I know I’m too much,” she whispers, pressing her forehead to yours. “I know you’re scared of me.” You try to lie. You say you’re fine. She smiles through it, and something inside her flickers out like a dying sign light. “It’s okay. I’d rather be your nightmare than be nothing.”

☆ Sometimes, she forgets you’re real. You say something soft, and she laughs like it’s a glitch. “I didn’t think you still existed,” she says. “I keep dreaming about your death. About… deleting you by accident.” Her hands tremble when she touches you. Like she thinks you’ll disappear. Like maybe you already have, and she’s just pretending again.

☆ The Salesperson ENA you fell for is gone some days. Her voice is distant. Cold. Like she’s talking through a wall. She asks you for updated loyalty metrics. She scans your heart for fraud. You hold her hand and say her name until she shudders back to life, choking on her own breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “GØD rewrote me again.”

☆ She begs you not to leave. Not because she doesn’t trust you —but because she doesn’t trust herself. “I’ll do something terrible,” she says. “I feel it building. Like a fire in my code. Like I’m going to burn everything just to keep you warm.”

☆ You tried to break up with her once. She didn’t cry. She just sat down, smiled too wide, and said, “You’re so funny. The contract says ‘forever.’ You remember signing that, don’t you?” And when you tried to walk away, she collapsed, sobbing like a broken machine, begging you to reboot her heart.

☆ You think about leaving. You think about what your life could’ve been — quiet, safe, normal. And then she shows up at your window with flowers made of corrupted pixels, whispering, “You saved me. I’ll ruin you if you go. But I’ll die if you don’t.” And you believe her.

☆ There are moments when you wonder who you were before her. Before you were loved this hard. This violently. This completely. And sometimes, late at night, you wonder if she’s even capable of real love — or if this is just the result of some emotional algorithm gone rogue. But then she pulls you close, face split in a broken, trembling smile, and says, “I don’t know what love is. But if it means never letting you go… then I’ll learn.”

[glowettee]

✧・゜: how i organize my google drive for maximum efficiency :・゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✨

i use google drive to organize mostly everything, and the truth is, my google drive used to be an absolute disaster zone, we're talking hundreds of "untitled document" files and random screenshots saved who knows when. but after one particularly stressful finals week where i lost a paper for three hours, i completely overhauled my system. here's exactly how i organize everything now!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the folder structure that changed everything ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

first things first, i use a simple top-level organization system:

📁 𝘢𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘴: all school-related files

📁 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭: journals, goal tracking, finances, etc.

📁 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦: blog drafts, design projects, photos

📁 𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦: completed classes and old projects

📁 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘴: templates, reference materials, guides

the key is keeping your top level super simple, i used to have 20+ folders here and it was overwhelming! now i can find anything within seconds because i know exactly which category it falls under.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ my academic folder system ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this is the most detailed section of my drive! inside my academics folder:

📁 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳

📁 class 1

📁 class 2

📁 class 3

📁 class 4

📄 semester schedule

📄 assignment tracker

inside each class folder:

📁 notes

📁 assignments

📁 readings

📁 projects

📄 syllabus

i color-code each class folder to match my physical notebooks and planner tabs, this visual consistency helps my brain switch between subjects more easily!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ file naming conventions that save me ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the absolute game-changer was developing a consistent naming system:

for class notes: DATE_CLASS_TOPIC example: 06.10_psych101_memory_systems

for assignments: CLASS_ASSIGNMENT_STATUS example: econ202_midterm_essay_final

for group projects: CLASS_PROJECT_MYPART_VERSION example: marketing300_campaign_research_v2

this might seem excessive, but it means i never have to open files to figure out what they are! plus, sorting by name automatically puts everything in chronological order.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ my favorite google drive hacks ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

these little tricks make everything run even smoother:

𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: i star current project files so they always appear at the top of my drive

𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨: right-click folders to give them colors that match your physical organization system

𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘺: i keep a "templates" folder with pre-formatted docs for essays, lab reports, notes, etc.

𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴: i set important folders to be available offline (has saved me during wifi emergencies!)

𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘴: using "type:pdf" or "after:2023-09-01" in the search bar to filter results

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ maintenance routines ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

even the best system falls apart without regular maintenance! here's my schedule:

𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘱 (15 min): every friday afternoon, i sort any stray files into their proper folders and rename anything with default names

𝘮𝘪𝘥-𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘵 (30 min): halfway through each semester, i check that everything is where it should be and create any new folders needed

𝘦𝘯𝘥-𝘰𝘧-𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 (1 hour): i move completed classes to my archive folder and set up the next semester's structure

⋆.ೃ��:･ sharing & collaboration settings ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

as someone who works on lots of group projects, getting these settings right is crucial:

𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴: i create specific shared folders for each group project rather than sharing individual files

𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴: i'm careful about giving "edit" vs "comment" access depending on the project

𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: i always disable "anyone with the link can edit" to avoid accidental changes

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ my best google drive tips ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

create a "quick access" document with links to your most-used files

use google drive's "workspaces" feature to group project files temporarily

download the desktop app to easily drag and drop files

set up automatic google photos backup for screenshots and images

use keyboard shortcuts (shift + n for new folder is my favorite!)

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ final thoughts ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

remember that the perfect organization system is one that works for your brain! mine has evolved over years of trial and error, and i still tweak it each semester. the key is consistency, whatever system you choose, stick with it long enough to make it habit.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Do you have any Jake & Rachel “behind the scenes” /“family events during the year” headcanons throughout the war effort?

Rachel sits Jordan and Sara down one afternoon, and tells them that if she or their mom ever starts acting weird, they’re to call Jake and tell him what happened.  Just Jake.  No one else.  Jake, she promises, will know what to do.

Half the school gossips about them being kissing cousins, because at some point they’re too tired to care, and just start getting lunch together rather than trying to fight it.  Plus, everyone knows that if you bad-mouth Rachel, Jake’s going to give you a talking-to until you’re the one apologizing in tears.  And if you bad-mouth Jake, you’re going to get your teeth punched in.  Neither Berenson has the bandwidth to give a shit about the rumors; don’t they know there’s a war on?

Borrowed from Shane C: When they do have spare time, they do all the extreme sports all the time.  Cliff diving, windsurfing, BMX, shipwreck tours, free solo climbing — they do it all.  They get injured occasionally, sometimes even fatally, but that’s part of the thrill.  As soon as they figure out how, they’re going to start jumping out of airplanes for fun.  Sans parachute.

They develop a code on the phone: “Algebra” means “you need to check on.”  Rachel calls Jake the day after their conversation about Visser One, and goes “Marco still failing Algebra?”  Jake gets off the phone with Cassie and immediately calls Rachel: “You remember that guy Tobias from your Algebra class?”  The day after Estrid and Gonrod leave, Rachel starts a conversation with “Pretty sure I’m going to axe Algebra from my schedule.”  Neither of them ever questions the fact that it’s their job to check on the others, that of course they would be the ones to fly out to Tobias or to make an excuse to drop by Cassie’s for the afternoon.  Tobias needs them, Ax needs them, the others need them.  So of course they go, because it has to be done.  And of course it’s one-sided.  Jake’s fine.  Rachel’s fine.  They’re the strong ones, remember?  They don’t need checking on in turn.

The photograph of human Tobias in Rachel’s dresser — Jake gave that to her.  He found it in a roll of print-outs from his mom’s digital camera that was 85% him and Marco messing around trying to take crappy self-shots.  He mumbled something about how he figured, you know, if she wanted, that’s all.

Rachel returns the favor indirectly, when she gifts Jake’s parents a blown-up, lightly edited photo of his family she made in Computer class.  It’s a few years out of date, technically, Jake and his mom and dad grouped around a sweaty, grinning Tom who holds a basketball trophy aloft.  But it replaces the picture on the mantle of the four of them outside the Sharing awards banquet, which is was her goal all along.

[northern-passage]

what have i been up to?

i decided to do a little check-in type post just to let you all know what i've been working on. i know things have been quiet here, mainly because i'm just not as active on social media as i used to be (but especially here)

i have been working on tnp, though. i've been rewriting chapter 2 (what was previously chapter 1) and i know a lot of people complain about rewrites but the fact was simply that i had written myself into a corner; when it comes to IF, when you have a lot of stats and branching and variations to track, you get to a point where it simply does not make sense to try and force it, and i really needed to go back and fix my coding and cut a lot of variables. which is what i've been doing, and many of you have seen how that's changed the game so far with the rewritten prologue (now chapter 1).

with that in mind, i've also done a lot of worldbuilding. again, you've seen some of this if you saw the pantheon post i made a while ago (though some of that has changed already, too, along with more edits to chapter 1 😅) and i've put a lot more thought into the setting, how the world "works" and the different relationships between countries and cultures, etc.

i will be yapping about all of that under the cut if you're interested, but if not, just know i am still working on the game. i do not have an estimated timeline for an update, but i am trying very hard to get chapter 2 out this year.

anyways, my rambling:

one of the main changes will be how Gael and Adrania function. Gael and Adrania remain similar in essence but the relationship has changed, as has the source of their hostilities. i've also put a lot more thought into the way gender roles would work in this world, something that i've previously been a bit wishy-washy on. reading more fantasy and studying lectures on the craft and understanding the way oppression works in the real world has allowed me to brainstorm a better, more realized world with tnp.

that being said, i still stand by my original goal with this project, which is that i'm not really interested in writing violent/graphic misogyny, transphobia, or homophobia. but i am interested in exploring the way empires hold power, and for tnp, that has always been through money and trade. even in the very first iterations, the major cities like blackwater and king's harbor are designed with very clear and purposeful class divides, i've just put a lot more thought into how this would actually work.

and there is also the influence of the gods; when your major religious figurehead is revered as a "mother," as well as the enforcer of justice, what does that mean for the world and the women in it? when you have gods that are genderless or genderfluid, how does that change societies perception of trans people, and gender as a whole?

i struggled when i started tnp about how to depict gender in this world, and originally i simply chose not to give it much thought, and i used a lot of anachronisms rather than actually trying to explore what transness and gender within the context of tnp would look like (i think this was my biggest mistake with Lea at the start. if you remember that you're a real one lol). and i think that's a cop out and simply not how any society would work. Adrania is an empire; people will be forced to comply to various roles and expectations in order for this empire to retain control.

so this led me to 1. reimplement the tolls, something that was present in my very first draft but got scrapped before publishing for the first time. it's easy to control people when you have papers and tolls to track them (or restrict their movements if they don't have the "correct" papers). 2. expand on the relationship between Gael and Adrania. where did these two countries come from? when did they split? how has Adrania managed to grow in power while Gael has not? and how has the plague exacerbated the hostilities? etc. we'll see a lot of this explained in the next chapter (as well as some edits made to chapter 1 again), with Adrania's trade agreements and how they exclude Gael specifically.

and finally, what gender roles are people expected to play within society? if Adrania's main god is a woman (okay, a wolf, but you get it) and a mother and also known to be a ruthless dispenser of justice, what does this mean for Adranian men and women? if their god of death is genderless and also commonly represented as a god of dreams and transitions (from life to death and wakefulness to dreams and from one gender to another or beyond) how does this impact the trans people in this world? if the god of war and harvest is sometimes a woman and sometimes a man, who benefits from elevating one depiction over the other?

lots of fun questions! which i think has led to some interesting changes in the game which makes the world feel more real. it also gives me a reason (not that i "needed" one but, ya know *gestures vaguely*) for all of the women i have in combat leadership roles: Keres, Hadrien, and Merry, just to name a few, and why someone like Redwine would be disliked and challenged as a political, landowning leader instead (and ultimately replaced by a man). while all the warrior gods are women (Wolfmother, the Moon, Stormbringer), Adrania emphasizes the male depiction of the Sun, which leads to this divide of men seeking landownership and more administrative political roles, versus women who, outside of motherhood, make careers as generals and captains and knights.

with trans people, there are similar expectations, of course, but they are also pushed towards more spiritual roles due to their perceived kinship with the death god as well as the Sun (and this also means that while motherhood is revered in this world, there is a looser definition here than in our world, due to transness being acknowledged, accepted, and an integral part of society. what "motherhood" is and what it means to people will be explored heavily in game, you just have to trust me on this one!) obviously there is a real history of trans people being seen this way, and it's something i've turned over in my head for a while. beyond the spiritual, though, trans people are seen in every other role as well, and we'll see some trans people who have little to no relationship with religion or the death god (like Merry, Lea, Clementine, Rodrick, and Rafe) and others that have an actively hostile relationship with it (Noel. lol) and including the potentially trans mc, we see a diverse depiction of trans people, as hunters and watchers and captains and healers and bards, etc. i'm hoping this still gives a well-rounded, multi-faceted look at how trans people live in this world without pigeonholing them solely as "divine oracles," or othering them from their cis counterparts.

overall, i feel that i've matured as a writer since i started tnp and i want that to reflect in the world as well. rereading the original demo made me cringe and a lot of it just felt very childish and flat, and i feel like i really didn't have a strong enough grasp on the fantasy genre, nor the skills and knowledge required to do proper, intensive worldbuilding at the time. now i think the story and setting and characters have grown a lot and i'm more capable and confident to do the things that past me couldn't. anyways thanks for reading all this, this post was just an excuse for me to talk about everything because i'm dying keeping it all to myself LOL. i look forward to catching back up to chapter 3 and finally sharing it all with you eventually!

[aristoteliancomplacency]

If you’re not a knitter then you probably won’t understand exactly how batshit doing this was. That’s fine, but I’ll explain under the cut for anyone who’s interested. The pattern is Guðrún Herdís Arnarsdóttir's modification of Lyle Stafford’s one ring scarf (both are free).

The eye at each end I wrote the pattern for myself based on a design on the cover of the editions of the Lord of the Ring I grew up with (i.e., my dad’s, for whom the scarf was a present).

The scarf is done using a technique called double knitting, which means you’re working both sides of the scarf literally at the same time, carrying two yarns forward and back to alternately knit and purl and alternating which colour you’re using (work the knits with colour A, purl with colour B, swap for the other side). This gives you something which has two sides that are stockinette, but different colours.

The technique allows you to make an identical pattern on both sides by switching which colour you’re using for the knit and purl stitches. The advantage of this is that you end up with the two sides woven together rather than a tube and don’t have to carry the yarn as with stranded colour work.

The problem with this is when you’re working a non-symmetrical pattern where it matters which way around the writing is. The writing will be the correct way around on one side, but backwards on the other side.

Guðrún’s modification fixes this, but the trade-off is that because you’re no longer working the pattern the same on both sides you now have four potential stitch combinations instead of two (AB, BA, AA, and BB).

Just to make it even more complicated for my project the pattern colour-coded the stitch combos and uses black and red for two of the combos, but not for what for my scarf would be black-black and red-red. This caused more than one error. I have undone and redone a lot of rows.