#react state

[whywontvulcanseatreplicatormeat]

Just made myself so so sad thinking about Aang's marble trick because from a physics perspective, keeping dense spherical objects afloat on an airstream is not trivial, and he's doing it in a tiny little space without moving his hands. Bending is usually very gestural. So. Everyone in the era of the show is, at best, impressed THAT it is airbending. But Aang's an incredibly young master airbender. He wouldn't be acting like this was the bestest trick ever if it didn't take at least some skill; he's a goofy kid but he's also a prodigy. I bet other airbenders were absolutely blown away (pun fully intended) at the level of precision and force and minimalism of movement on display and now there's no one who understands at all why he expects accolades.

[chaoticwarp]

I want it on record that I think the reason trump and Elon are fighting rn is so they can cover something else way way WAYYYY WORSE up then just Elon getting "kicked out" of the white house for drugs. I swear to god in like 3 months its gonna come out that trump killed like a million orphans or something and we got distracted cause "oooo mommy and daddy are fighting!" Don't get me wrong I think its funny as fuck that he got kicked out and is throwing shots at the president now that he broke for a billionaire but like. Can we not forget that both of these assholes are the exact type of people to pretend to be going through a divorce to come out on top? Please do not feel relief that Elon Musk is no longer in office until Donald Trump is ALSO no longer in office. (Perhaps also dj vance that guy also sucks.) I will not feel safe or any relief until this 4 years is up and we can reset.

[identitty-dickruption]

it's also kind of wild how quickly I can sort people out in my mind into "people I can be honest about my disabilities with" from "people I absolutely cannot talk about my disabilities with". and I continue to be unsurprised that the people who are in the first group for my neurodivergent shit are completely different from the people who are in that group for my chronic illness shit. what I mean to say is. "chill about autism but doesn't want to hear it when you're in pain" is a more common kind of guy than one would hope

[sukibenders]

Me, watching some YJS fans justify what Shauna did to Mari by using clips of Mari and Jackie giggling in s1 (normal teenage girl things), or Mari speaking the truth and trying to take Jackie's jacket (even though it was the middle of winter and the group were already sharing clothes), with said fans saying that they've would've done worse to Mari in response, acting like that makes them any better:

[vyhonella]

redraw this scene from ofmg:

[casualavocados]

#he doesn't want to fight with you ai di, he wants to Kiss🙄💘🥺

Nat Chen as CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[shaissa]

[amanwhodefiestheworldofbl]

have we considered that maybe mob isn't stuck in a bl world and he is in a regular world and just attracts queer people while being romance adverse himself.

he just wants to live a "normal" life (gf, job, college) but he has an amazing gay-dar and people feel safer to be themselves around him (but not enough to come out)

[kindahoping4forever]

New ORDER chaos ORDER artwork via Matt de Jong on IG Story (now deleted)

[justajsworkshop]

i'm realizing how much tapping into the void is just... not difficult. and ig i knew this conceptually, and anytime i've gotten close to or briefly tapped into the void state, it's always "just happened." but this understanding is sinking in on a new level.

the degree to which i've released judgments during my meditations has allowed me to "go deeper" so much faster because i'm not trying to accomplish anything through force, will, or intellect. instead of trying to master my awareness, i'm just being mindful of my awareness and where it's placed, therefore putting the concept of mastery in action.

we think we need a crowbar to pry the doors of consciousness open when we are actually the door itself. it's about a feather light touch, gently tapping your awareness back to where you desire it to be. because the moment you start trying, you're intellectualizing, and as the ancient one said in doctor strange, "your intellect has taken you far in life, but it can take you no further."

consciousness defies all reason because it's beyond all reason. the mind will never be satisfied, so stop trying to satisfy it. as jesus said in the chosen when healing the paralytic at the pool of bethesda, "you only need me." you only need your awareness to continue staying on your desired end. instead of trying harder or looking for another new method or technique, soften your touch and see what happens. be a shepherd to your awareness and gently herd it home.

[freddie5romeo2blaine2sidney4]

Do Polynesians a favor and DON'T go watch the Lilo and Stitch (remake)

[lizasweetling]

last seige there was only flash in the pan moments of pair of the OT3 working together: it's so delightful to see them spark together all at once <3

[clumsypuppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[the-golden-mango-of-discord]

if i could maybe get on my soapbox here for a moment i think what ppl get fundamentally wrong abt wulian is that it is built on unequal grounds and it can never reconcile that by nature of where both of them are at in their respective narrative arcs. any story about xie lian recognizing wuming’s devotion and trying to do better by it is explicitly rejecting xie lian’s actual character at that point in his life and projecting his future self onto the narrative, when that xie lian doesn’t exist yet and can never exist at this point in the story bc he hasn’t experienced that outside act of kindness. he can only see wuming’s devotion as trivial and misguided at best, repugnant and mocking at worst. wuming means nothing to xie lian until his sacrifice, and ironically enough it took a random stranger’s secondhand kindness to even awaken that realization in xie lian. wuming’s devotion is just not what xie lian needed at that point in his life and was actively spurring on his self-hatred and jaded apathy toward the world. the huge chasm between xie lian’s utter disregard for himself and wuming’s devotion, which is entirely dedicated to the exact person xie lian despises. thus the more wuming devotes himself to xie lian, the less he thinks of him. of course that’s very unromantic and not conducive to fluffy fanfiction, so ppl make up a xie lian who actually has the capacity to care about wuming and by extension himself

[gxlden-angels]

I've had this account now for 5ish years now. I've been in therapy for years, not exclusively for religious trauma but it's a major part. I've gotten better. I have a lot of content here I could reflect on, but I don't think I want to. I like knowing I progressed. I don't like looking at what from. Usually religious trauma comes up in therapy as an "oh yea...." instead of by name now. It's indirect. Enmeshment. Parentification. Vaginismus. Scrupulous and Harm OCD. Alexithymia. Derealization and Depersonalization. Paranoia.

I'm like, a real adult now I guess. I have a bachelor's degree now. I walk this upcoming weekend. I live in a house and I'm renting out a room with my own money. It has a backyard my cat likes to run around in. I had a job interview in my chosen field today. It went well

Then I'll go back to my family for the weekend and I find out they're spiraling into AI generated christian conspiracy theory videos. Their pastor is preaching about Trump being the anti-christ, and any non-Trump or Conspiracy message is the same thing he's said for the past decade, sometimes word for word. My uncle is convinced he's a prophet. He tells a story about a girl that was paralyzed after not listening to his message. My grandfather is convinced us black people are the true Israelites and chosen people. I thought I was the only one medically neglected by my aunt who's a doctor. I was not. I show her my emotions chart app. She tells me it's good so I can recognize when I feel bad and remember Jesus's love until I'm happy again. It's not normal for your joints to pop out of place apparently. We all learned this at the same time. It's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That explains a lot. My grandfather fell asleep to a video about the Ethiopian bible and how other bibles were made to take out miracles by Jesus and angels again. The remote is lodged in his hand so we can't change it

Then I talk about plants and food with my dad and my grandmother. My dad jokingly complains about his mom making him garden with her all day half a century ago. I give her a little kiss on her forehead before I go. My dad sends me home with leftover peach cobbler he made. I eat it with my lunch at my job. I answer phone calls at a front desk. I paid real taxes for the first time this year. I go to therapy and I talk about everything from my sex life to my graduate school plans to my opinions about generative AI (I hate it). I'm like, a real, breathing adult that has autonomy I guess. I'm not even claimed as a dependent anymore. I built my own desk that I bought from Big Lots.

You get where I'm going with this right? I'm not cured or healed by any means. Far from it in fact. I still get a pang of anxiety using the lord's name in vain and a chill down my spine when manifesting feels too close to confessing. It's harder making a personal post about religious trauma now though. It's not necessarily that I'm cured, it's just so engrained that I've created atheistic excuses to stay stuck in my religious trauma. I can pinpoint the source of it if I think about it long enough, so I don't think about it long enough

I'm not afraid to think lustful thoughts because holding lust in your heart is a sin, it's because I feel like a creep. I'm not worried I'll be sent to hell if I make mistakes that take me further from Jesus, I just think making mistakes would make me a bad person and an asshole. These beliefs popped out of nowhere, of course. They aren't influenced by the religious trauma so deeply buried in my head that taking it out would feel like taking out the gray matter of my brain itself. I'm schrodingers's man where I'm only a human when I'm observed. It used to be a deity but then it was you. I'm observed by you and that proved I'm human just long enough to get by when I most needed it. I still have that problem, but I'm seen outside of here. I see myself more often too

I don't want this post to seem like a good-bye, because it's not. I'm just currently in a period of limbo and I feel like the next generation of religious trauma bloggers are rising. I'm too busy arguing with my therapist about why I'm a bad person in a way that doesn't just boil down to "I'm a sinner in need of redemption" in a desperately-secular way. I'm self-aware enough to know that's what I'm doing, but not progressing enough to stop yet. I think what will happen is I'll eventually get frustrated enough to give up on the secular origins of my mental distress. I think a lot of you are in a similar place. You're out long enough that it feels like it should be over. You don't live in the bible-thumping, belt-wielding, gay-bashing, hellscape you once did. You might even be no-contact. You pay taxes now in your apartment. But it's not over. It's still there. It's just harder to say it's Jesus's fault I'm like this. It feels like it's been too long to still blame the bible.

It's not. It's buried in your synapses and neurons and muscles and bones and skin and hair and teeth and it's hard to remember that after 5 years. It's not oozing out into your bloodstream and filling you with enough cortisol and adrenaline to fuel an elephant anymore. It trickles though like a leaky faucet. I think I've lost the plot at this point, but you get it

Like I said, not a goodbye despite what it seems like. I just have to remember that a leaky faucet is still a concern