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localgardenweed · 3 months

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Ok I was originally gonna write how I wanna go back to Eddsworld and do stuff for it again but felt out of the loop with the modern fandom and shit but ended up being a rant about how I hate Beyond so like gonna write this again but keeping part of the rant cause i need to share how much i cant stand Beyond again

So like I wanna come back to Eddsworld cause as much as it was a dumpster fire for me it was my first real fandom I was apart of online so it holds a place in my heart. I mean probably technically whatever I did on Framecast was my first ever online fandom space but shhhh that dont count i was but a wondering traveler looking for my place in the world. It actually got me into Eddsworld someone made a animation to Youth by Daughter and had me hooked. But still was very important to me and my art development.

Its so crazy to me cause i was into Eddsworld HARD in the 2016-2020 era where alot of the ig modern fandom was born i watched cities fall and crumble I was deep in the amino trenches, Pork Sodaing and seeing so much historical fandom events happen before your eyes. I was watching everyone consume every piece of Prince of Mints and Moho art I was a sucker for them which probably wasn’t okay for like a 5th grader but i definitely turned out all right /j.

I left for a little bit on and off cause Hetalia was choking me and like keeping me prisoner but like it still had a place in my heart for it but like ya know i still was there but idk now I just dont find the same spark anymore from the first go around. Something changed and maybe cause i just had my tastes change and maybe cause my ex-best friend was making fun of my oc all the time but i made him when i was like 11 and figuring out identities and ways to express yourself without sticking to the gender norms and dealing with alot of stuff at the time i finally caved and just didn’t feel the same any anymore about the show.

Cause I loved that fandom more than anything but, I don’t know I just don’t know how to get back that spark and go frolic in the fields with my TomTordOc love triangle of my 5th grader dreams and just be cringe and free and feel joy again but I just cant enjoy the material anymore like THEY ARE MASSACRING MY BOYS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THEMM

It doesn’t hit the same and i know i dont need to consume Beyond i doubt anyone actually does at this point but i cant stand beside while they murder everything i loved about the Classic and Legacy eras.

Also just, I think I hit a road block with it too like, I got stuck on where to do and what to do with Eddsworld like. I make aus i made ocs i made a ask blog i made animatics, now what? And like idk i felt weird and like stuck in the mud with them. Also just had the friend falling out who was also the co-creator of the ask blog so now i dont know how to pick it back up all by myself again but them again i really was just doing it by myself all the time anyway so i just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things

I have some ideas for aus and maybe just finally be free and bring my oc back from the grave for realsies and make you all consume it but, I don’t know. Im scared to come back cause also weirdly alot of the new fans are younger than me or the older fans are older than me so its kinda awkward, also im just awkward im scared to talk to people online, there is and were some people i desperately wanted to be friends with both in and out of Eddsworld but im too scared and either just watch from afar or abuse the Anonymous function in ask boxes.

If i cave enough i might come back to Eddsworld to at least finish my lore for the ask blog cause IM SORRY I LEFT YALL HANGING I HAD SCHOOL AND THEN JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT but forever haunted by the people who like every single post and then i get excited cause i see like 99+ notes waiting for me and i think one of my new posts blew up but no its just the ew boys who screw around likes and reblog and the occasional comment

One day ill return to my rightful birthplace and one day I shall be free and one with nature and draw as much as I want for it and as many ocs i want without someone telling me its cringe or make more for the ask blog or hell start doing animation and animatics again

Ok here is the Beyond rant now if you wanna read it

I feel the difference between Beyond and Legacy is that, Beyond is trying to horriblycopy their older brothers Classic and Legacy and almost dumb it down a bit with more childish humor, and Legacy takes inspiration from Classic: It’s different but a natural difference/evolution. Or the fact a whole new guy was writing it all with a slightly different style so he wrote what he knew idk maybe a bit of a factor idk

Also i cant stand the Tord bait sorry I cant, especially when they used to like get annoyed by the fandom by asking and then just realized he was a cash cow so like now we get Tord merch and the hints and Tori and the skit with the cavemen like OMG TORD- and he got crushed by a rock thanks gang, cause like dude I think as much as we love Tord like maybe this go around respect Larson’s choice to like not use him in the series anymore and take him out but like ig that doesn’t apply to merch so yeah lets do one more go around bring out the red one. Or idk maybe they contacted him and was like “yo dude can we like use him for merch” but i dont think that happened. I think it was just better to leave him absent from the show and be like “yeah no Tord guys, no Tord” and we could have all had our thumbs up and be like “Ok Eddsworld Beyond we are okay with that”. Like I know Red October was for charity but idk it still felt weird to use Tord, like could this really not have just been the main 3 or like bring in some deep cut old characters or side characters did we really need Tord here.

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #eddsworld #big rant #sorry for the influx of text posts guys i have no art rn to share to the public #i mean ive been drawing but its a bunch of like irl friend group au stuff and idk if we wanna share it to tumblr dot com yet

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karisworldofwords · 10 months

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On another note, I want to infodump about something Hetalia related with a note of some (not too) personal info, lmao, so here you go, completely unprompted!

So, my online bestie and I have been working sporadically on this idea we got, going out on a limb here, I'll say, four years ago or so. Mind you, four years ago, I was 16 going on 17, she was 17 going on 18. We're now respectively 20 going on 21 (that's me) and 21 going on 22. And I'd be lying, y'all, if that idea didn't have a grip on me still because ngl, I grew mega attached to our characters. And she's the same, as it seems, as we - mostly I - get new ideas every odd Tuesday morning still, even after four years, and we're still working on concepts here or there just for funsies. It's truly a soul-connected project to us. ✨

You may have already heard of this idea of ours somewhere before. It's called "The Cursed Ones: A Hetalia Story" or... something along those lines - lmao, excuse my poor memory, I have the memory capacity of a goldfish. Now, to get this out of the way first thing, it's on the internet, yes, though I'd advise you not to read it because let's be real, my immature ass published this out of sheer pride - with my bestie's approval and encouragement of course - and now, some years later, all I feel when I look at this piece is dread. One might even call it shame, and I wouldn't deny their approach.

Or I'll just go ahead and call it as it is: It's fucking cringe, point blank. So stay clear, for your own sanity. I'm begging you. Whatever it was that we inhaled whenever we wrote a new chapter, I'm never taking another milligram of it ever again.

Since publishing this story, the two of us have grown significantly, both as people and as writers. My vocabulary has grown larger, I'm not that much of a perfectionist anymore - well, at least I'm trying not to be, lol, OCD is hard to manage sometimes - and we've gone through personal stuff, too. So given that I've set the stage thus far with all necessary things one might need to know about this beforehand, let me introduce you to a remake of what was once the cringiest shit we both ever wrote. I promise, this one's far better. ❤️

Basically, it's about the nations of the world and how they found true love in humans. And us Hetalians know that nations are immortal, so what would they want from normal humans? Well, even big nations such as Germany or the USA have feelings, as they're only the human representatives of their respective countries, and thus, the issue with mortality flies out the window once love enters the picture. In this story, there's both original characters and historical people involved, though rest assured, the historical figures are all thoroughly researched - mainly by me because I love to google the dumbest shit like "who invented music videos" (fun fact, I did google that today, it was either David Bowie or The Beatles) at 3 AM - so as to not mess up their characteristics. Historical figures that play a main role in our story include people such as Mary Stuart, Elizabeth Tudor, Hua Mulan, Anastasia Romanova, Cleopatra, Marc Anthony and Jeanne D'Arc (also known as Joan of Arc), and I think I just mentioned them all, lmao. Supporting characters that appear somewhere along the story - though not for long - who also happen to be historical figures include Rosemary Kennedy, Alice Roosevelt, Hannie Schaft, Anne Frank, Henry VIII, the Austrian mustache guy (I refuse to speak or type his name but you know who I mean), Freddy Mercury and Michael Jackson. The rest of them are all original characters, and boy, do we have a bunch of those!

Now, first of all, I'd love to say that my bestie is kind of responsible for the girls, lmao. I'm the one who takes care of the boys, and that's because dear Lord up above, and I may be an atheist but who gives a shit, I love them so incredibly much, they all have my heart in a choke hold.

Yet as diverse as they are, and they truly are, they all have one thing in common. And that is that they all are or have been in love with a representative at some point in their lives. But as humans are, their time on this planet it limited, whereas nations just live on and on, watching as the years pass - and they simply don't grow older, unlike us mortals, who grow older every second of the day. Poetic, isn't it? Well... from this point, it gets a bit morbid, unfortunately.

As life is, death can be peaceful. However, death can also be gruesome and painful, often slow and vile, hardly ever quick and lacking of pain. And as it also is, in many cases of the deaths of these mortals the representatives have been with at some certain points, many were just that - slow and painful. That's because somewhere else, in a place hidden away from all creatures, be it animals, humans or nations, there's a deity called The Almighty who despises the fact that these nations don't just exist as they are, oh no no no, they now dare and fall in love with everyday humans that he originally created to watch as they live for not even a blink of an eye and then vanish again! How dare they! So he takes these mortals away from the nations, leaving them heartbroken for centuries on end.

About The Almighty, I'm not saying that he's of any religion, he's neither Christian nor Muslim nor Hindu or whatever religion there is. He's just a deity that wants to see the world suffer, relishing in the fact that he's the only one able to create life and destroy it again in the same turn, which thoroughly scratches his ego, of course. He's ruthless, he's cunning, and he's nothing like any religion's Lord out there is. Or else, I'd've already written each "he" that described him with a capital "h". We may be both atheists, but we still have standards, and discriminating against religions doesn't count to said standards for either of us.

From the top of my head, I can tell you how some of them died. Two got burned alive, one through suicide that he portrayed as an accident, the other through burning at the stake (if you're a history nerd, you may know who that one was). Five got shot, one in the face, one in the heart, one in the stomach, on in the forehead and the last in the temple, though only two of them were able to be brought back due to their immortality having already faded away thanks to the nations they're with. So yes, there's a total of three survivors as well, but two of them are blemished - only one of the three remains untouched. Another one got stabbed with a saber, while a different one drowned after the Titanic incident. One of them killed himself through deliberately locking himself into a cooling room, another one poisoned herself (again, history nerds, let me hear you if you know it 👀). One died of either old age or lead poisoning (this one should be clear as glass) whereas her half-sister got decapitated, one fell victim to a spy whilst another one got murdered together with her whole family (again, should be clear). There's many more, but unless you want to know more, I won't list them all right now or else, the post will be too long - I mean, it already is but let's look past that for now, I'm rambling but I'm not a damn fax machine, lmao.

However, this story wouldn't be what it is now if there wasn't magic involved, because my bestie and I love love love the magic trope. So after their deaths, all the humans find their ways together in one place - the Safe Haven. A place created by one of their peers, the one who saved them from eternal darkness and punishment from The Almighty, who only would've tortured their souls once they'd have arrived in his palace. As such, she becomes something like their queen, the leader of the bunch. Together, they all now look after the next innocent mortal humans who may fall in love with another representative at some point, yet they also regularly check in on their lost loves, to make sure the heartbreak doesn't wear them down all too much. And while some are able to cope after a good amount of time, others simply can't because of how fresh the wounds are.

Because see, the nations didn't all fall in love with their significant others when they were yet alive all at the same time. No, their feelings spanned - and still do - over centuries, if not millenia. Some fell in love in the 1400's, others in the 1800's, though most did in the 1900's. Only two of them are, as of then, completely unable to move on, as their partners were ripped from them in the early 2000's, thus they're the most recent losses. Meanwhile, in that Haven, there's two people from the 1500's making friends with an upbeat guy from the early 90's, it's like several different worlds collide and mesh into one. And still, all while this is going on, there they are, the ones who were once alive on the same planet during different times now dubbed the Cursed Ones, and now all together watching over the new generation, to make sure the same fate doesn't happen to them.

I'm not going to say much more about this topic other than perhaps in the next few posts or something, I'll gradually introduce some of our characters, though be warned: I only have Picrews of them, as I can't even draw a stick figure accurately.

For now though, that should be it. See you in the next ramble!

- 🔮

#hetalia #aph #hws #fanfiction ideas #fanfic #fanfiction #infodump

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breitzbachbea · 3 years

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📒💖

Emi, I'm kissing you on the mouth right now, you're so sexy. In general but also for taking the bait.

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

The Constantinople AU

This AU is from 2017 and came about because I watched a TED-ED video about Constantinople's walls, relistened to the Aladdin soundtrack and because I had earlier talked with a friend about how I had not really seen people make a genie a woman. I came back years later to explain it to my friend Jonah and add new stuff and this year I showed it to @amber-isnt-a-precious-stone to add even more things. It's one of my favourite AUs for sure.

Dramatis Personae:

- Herakles Karpuzi (APH Greece) as Son of the Roman emperor and heir to the throne - Sadık Adnan (APH Turkey) as Soldier in the Ottoman army and Imposter Prince - Dilan Taş (Human OC) as Jinn and Sadık's unsuccessful wingwoman - Athanasios Karpuzi (Human OC) as the Roman emperor and serial skirtchaser - Salvatore Vento (Human OC) as Advisor to the emperor and Fuckface McBadDad - Michele Vento (APH Sicily) as Herakles' childhood friend

The Happenings™:

- It's set in Constantinople in an alternate Universe, close to ours. It’s the late High Middle Age/Early Late Middle Age (depending on how you want to periodize. I am working with how the German Middle Ages are divided, which is arguably a very bad method for classifying Byzantine. But this is my silly Hetalia AU, not my term paper). Around 1300, I’d say.

- Athansios Karpuzi is the current Roman Emperor, which makes Herakles the heir to the throne. Athanasios is desperately trying to wed his son off to any available suitors to form new alliances, but two things keep getting into the way: 1. Herakles is thoroughly uninterested in playing along with Athanasios’ plans. He’s not a chess piece on his father’s board if he's got anything to say about it. 2. Salvatore Vento is Athanasios’ closest consultant and protests any marriage for whatever reason he can find. For the sole reason that he has been eyeing the throne for himself the entire time and wants to marry his own son, Michele, to Herakles.

- Like in my Hetalia AU "Like Father Like Son", Salvatore and Athanasios trust each other as far as they can throw one another. There is no genuine trust here at all, no sympathy, really, they just stick together because they know the other is useful. Have some assorted banter as result of this:

Salvatore: "Immortal what a name! What a title to bear! Although immoral would have fit you much better." [Athanasios’ etymology is “immortal”]

S: "Maybe you wouldn't have to struggle to find a suitable bride for your son if you stopped dragging every young woman within and from outside Constantinople to bed." Athanasios: "He's into guys too, problem solved." S: "Oh, yeah, me dumbass thought you needed stop whoring around, how silly of me."

A: "If he is into anything at all. But if I have another child, they might keep this empire going." S: "No legitimation to the lineage's claim to power like a gay loner and a bastard child." A: "Ah yes, I hired the man whose wife ran away with his son so he could berate me about family life. How I value your opinion, Salvatore." S: "She didn't run away." A: "No, she just hides and sends you people until she can get her divorce. I'm very inclined to give it to her."

S: "They're childhood friends! They'd make a great couple!" A: "All I can hear is what a great emperor you'd make, ruling on my corpse."

- So. Herakles is staunchly resisting any marriage to anyone and minding his business one day, walking along the great walls of Constantinople. He stops to look out into the surrounding area and suddenly, hears a noise. Confused, he looks down and sees someone scaling the wall. Sadık looks up and sees the most beautiful man he has ever seen … spotting him trying to get into the city.

- Sadık is part of the Ottoman Turks, who’re conquering the area around Constantinople these days. He’s some nobody in the army and thought he’d give it a shot and get into the city by himself to earn some fame (and money).

- Herakles is seriously impressed Sadık managed to actually almost scale the famously impenetrable walls of the city. Not impressed enough to actually let him in. So these two banter a bit, Sadık now distracted by this hunk in front of his nose. Herakles correctly assesses that he’s a Turk and says of himself that he’s the emperor’s son. Sadık: “Hey, hot stuff, if that’s true and it’s so impressive, why don’t you let me in as a reward?” Herakles: “Yes, of course. And then I’ll open the gates for the rest of your people, so that you can just walk in and take the city. What impossible thing do you want to happen next, a kiss on the mouth?” Sadık: “What’s so impossible about that?”

- Either way, Herakles threatens to sick the guards on him, which leads to a “Oh no you wouldn’t” - Herakles grins and definitely would, so Sadık has to retreat. (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha).

- He goes back to camp, having gained nothing but a crush. He gets in real trouble for rummaging around the booty, where he finds an oil lamp and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Dilan, a Jinn, pops out and Sadık uses his first wish to get out of trouble. Once that is done and the two have a moment of peace, he's thinking about what to do next and his mind circles back to Herakles.

- Dilan: "Ah yes, they always want something with love ... so who struck you and what's the problem?" Sadık: "Well ... I don't really know if it's true but he said he was the son of the emperor. He certainly looked the part! And I didn't really want to wait for him to call the guards to confirm it." Dilan: "Wait ... so you want to get with the son of the Roman emperor?" Sadık: "If that handsome little shit didn't lie to me, then yes." Dilan: "Isn't that a little out of your ballpark?" Sadık: "What, is it out of yours? Can't help me in that case, magic lady?" Dilan: "Psht, don't make me laugh! I can make the impossible happen, just tell me what you need." Sadık: "I dunno ... I guess getting inside the city?" Dilan: "That's it? That's all you need? That's less than a no-brainer -" Sadık: "Oh yeah, if it's so easy then, save that second wish for later. I got past one of the walls already once, I'll figure that out without your magic." Dilan: "Alright, alright ... and what about the wooing of your sweetheart?" Sadık: "That we'll see to once we're there ..."

- Dilan and Sadık chitchat while they make it to Constantinople. Dilan spends some time in the lamp, because walking is boring, but she does tell him that she's pretty sick of being in there. So that's where Sadık learns about her wishing to be free. Dilan in turn learns that Sadık doesn't have such a rosy life either (especially because now he can't return to the army, after he basically deserted).

- So they get to Constantinople and decide to actually factcheck if they got the right guy - and if yes, some general information about the emperor's son. Luckily enough, a friendly trader/tradesman tells them a bit about the city and the imperial family. Dilan: "So, did you by any chance ever see the emperor's son?" Trader: "Oh, well, that's an odd question, isn't it? But since you don't seem to be from here, I can understand the curiosity. Well, let me think ... You often see him only from afar ... during a triumph where he had accompanied his father during the campaign I got to see him up close. What a regal figure there at the head of the troops!" Sadık is too lost in the vision of his crush all decked out in military gear on a horse. And then taking all that gear off and being a regal figure while he fucks Sadık into the sheets … Dilan: "Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda, we need something more concrete. Height, hairstyle, haircolour, what does the dude look like?" The trader/tradesman is a little baffled but does provide a description that lines up with who Sadık saw. So with that information, they start to wonder how to woo a future emperor.

- Luckily, now that the trader/tradesman thinks they're here for imperial gossip, he actually mentions the fact that Emperor Athanasios hopes for his son to follow his footsteps and is currently looking for a suitable match, so that Herakles can be of political use even while he's still in charge. So Dilan and Sadık get an idea how to get into the city and Herakles heart. Or his pants. Milestones are still up for negotiation.

- After the grand entrance happened, where Herakles definitely took offense at either "Heard your prince was a sight lovely to see" or "Heard your prince was hot, where is he?" because either question was accompanied by Sadık's flirty looks, Athanasios actually lets Sadık and Dilan into the palace. There he and Salvatore discuss the entire thing, aka if whoever Sadık pretends to be is a good match.

- While they talk political stuff and snark, because of course Salvatore is against it, Sadık continues to feel very smug in his new princely identity and makes flirty eyes at Herakles. Herakles is just like "ugh" and much more happily plays with his cats. Which tbh sounds like they're 16 or something, but they're not that much younger than in canon (I think they'd be 22 and 24 here).

- Hijinks ensue. Herakles tells his dad that he’s a Turkish soldier that tried to sneak into the city and Athanasios doesn’t believe him, thinking Herakles is now lying badly to not get married. Dilan and Sadık are developing a friendship that is best described as hoes being bros.

- Dilan: "Look, you like cats. Cats are furry. Hairy, if you will. You know who else is hairy? Sadık. He's juuust as hairy as a cat - shhhht, I'm wingmanning for you and it's working great, you can thank me later."

- At first, Dilan mostly employs her magic for some silly little things with Sadık to woo Herakles. It doesn't work very well. Herakles: "I know it's magic, that's not impressing me - Okay, it is kinda cool, but you're still a dick." Dilan: "But a dick with a cool sidekick, come ON! What else do you want me to do to make the nerd viable?!" Sadık: "You call that wingmanning?!"

- Once Dilan realizes dickbags Athanasios and Salvatore are, she also uses little magic tricks to continously make their lives worse. Ironically, this may be what finally endears her and Sadık to Herakles. (If you haven't noticed, he doesn't like his father very much and Athanasios doesn't care for him aside from being a political pawn).

- At one point, Michele shows up at court! Herakles is overjoyed to see his childhood friend, which he hadn’t seen in years! Sadık is absolutely not, because it looks like just when he and Herakles almost had something, this twat shows up and steals the show!

- Dilan: "Well, I can't make him not love this dude, but I could beat the dude up." Sadık: " ... keep that in mind."

- However, when Dilan goes to investigate what Michele is doing here (and wingwomanning again), this ensues: Dilan: "Hey brah, what's up, why so blue looking? Is it because your boo just told you you ain't his number one anymore?" Michele: "I, eh ... no ... May I ask who you are?" Dilan: "Just one of the servants of the insanely charming and powerful - and hairy - Prince who's here to marry the Prince. Yep, he's sooo gonna marry that guy." Dilan: "There was a whole musical number about it, you should have seen it, I was on top of my game." Michele: "Sure heard about it, you stirred up trouble here. Hope it helps ... I'm not saying that Herakles should marry someone his dad set in front of him, but it'd be nice if he found someone at last. He told me he was very lonely the last years ... I don't want to leave him behind just as lonely again." Dilan: "Yeah, it'd be - Leave him behind?"

- Dilan: "Good news! His loverboy is not here to stay! He wants to go to the west, he's just here because of his terrible dad!" Sadık: "Oh, that's good! Wait ... isn't his father that asshole of an advisor?" Dilan: "Yeah. Why." Sadık: "The guy who wanted to marry his son to Herakles since apparently forever?" Dilan: "Yeah, but his son is not going to marry him." Sadık: "I smell a trap 10 miles against the wind."

- There is no trap however. Herakles realizes that the crush on Michele is nothing but a childhood crush and has to be left in the past … and that he wants to move forward with Sadık. When he wants a conversation one-on-one, Dilan wants to make it a one-on-two, but Herakles asks her if she doesn’t want to keep Michele company in the gardens, it’s not gonna take long, an hour or two at most. Then she can also fetch Michele when they’re done, so that Herakles can say goodbye before he leaves for Sicily.

- Dilan thinks about it, finds it’s not a trap (and if it was, nothing she and her fists couldn’t solve) and goes in the garden. There she talks with Michele and makes the mistake to either show off her magic powers, tell Michele of TurGre’s meetugly (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha) or to be like: “Hey, do you wanna know a cool secret? Sadık isn’t a Prince, all of this is my doing. Pretty cool, eh?”

- Unfortunately, they’re not alone. Salvatore was searching for Michele in the gardens, to get his “fucking rotten brat of a son” to play along after all instead of disappearing once again. So he overhears this. Salvatore: "Oh, so Prince Sadık is not a Prince? That's a funny joke indeed and I'll laugh my ass off the hardest in the end."

- So just when Herakles and Sadık had time to talk about their feelings and confess and, also, you know, make out and fumble for good measure, they get interrupted. Literally when Herakles was finally stripped down to his tunic and Sadık slid his hand underneath it.

- Athanasios: "This is gonna be the last wall you breached, you little rat." Herakles: "Dad! Stop it!" Athanasios: "This man nearly ruined our dynasty. Arrest him." Salvatore: "Arrest the man indeed. Go and get the ex-emperor." Athanasios: "Ex-Prince. It's not the right time for your snark." Salvatore: "I'm not talking about that small fish. Guards - arrest this careless idiot who nearly ruined our city by letting a scammer into its walls! Clearly the emperor's been in on this and can't be trusted!" Athanasios: "You've lost your mind." Salvatore: "You've lost yours and it's actually the thing you'll miss the least when syphilis is going to eat away the last of your rotten brain in the dungeons. So get him! And that ottoman faker, too, just get the trash out of here."

- The scene ends rather dramatically, because I love the thought of Michele and Dilan rushing to their help, but they get held back. Dilan maybe gets restrained by some anti-magic stuff. And Dilan begs Sadık to use his last wish to help him. To solve this problem. But Sadık refuses, because he promised to use it to set her free. So Dilan is just livid and upset, distraught, yelling at him to let her do something while he gets taken to the dungeons.

- So now Salvatore’s in charge and setting his plans into motion. PR is of course the first thing that needs to be done, so there’s a speech to Constantinople’s masses: "But, as you know, I respect and regard the royal family, the entire dynasty, more than any of you! So I am not going to assume power, it'd be a crime against God himself who granted us this emperor, if I had removed him for anything but his unstable condition and his tragic mistake of almost letting his lineage being tainted! Not to mention that this would have been the end of our beloved empire, our city, suddenly overrun and ruled by those barbarians! No, of course I'll give my power to the true heir who was merely a victim to his father's incompetence. To prove I really mean it, I'm even going to give up my son to the Prince, to forever bind my loyality to the throne!"

- Michele: "I hold no more respect for you as father as I did when we left. I'm not going to play along your perverted plan." Salvatore: "Well Michele, if you don't respect me as father, then maybe you'll respect me as the Roman Emperor!"

- Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Athanasios and Sadık have some great chitchat. Sadık: "Guess that's some quality father and son in law bonding time, eh?” S:“Though I'm pretty sure your son would rather call me daddy than you." A: "Once this entire drama is over, I'll have you decapitated. Or just kick you back to your people and let them handle this." S: "Ah, but when I came here as a fake prince, your arms and gates were wide open. Should've listened to your son when he told you so."

- Here’s also some Salvatore content: Athanasios: "And now you strut around in my clothes. I'm surprised they even fit you fatass!" Salvatore: "Oh, the entire imprisonment is really getting to you, ain't it, emperor tightlips? Ah, I meant - ex-emperor tight lips. Now you've sunk low enough to insult me with such details. Is it because you have nothing else left now that you're off your high horse?" Salvatore: "I thought so. At least you're enough of a sound mind to not threaten me with 'once I get out of here' hot air. Because we both know you're not getting out of here in a lifetime anymore. And yes, I’m wearing your rags, since I’ve got no time to waste.” Salvatore to Sadık: "Actually, it's sad that you aren't going to be there to watch it. Although, I think a public execution would just spice the entire wedding festivities up, if I think about it."

- Ah yes. The wedding. Herakles: "You look great today, my love. Like a polished jewel." Michele: "Thanks. I'd never seen a man more handsome than you though. Truly, a prince with all his qualities seen right away." Both: -sigh- Ft. Dilan, who’s just watching the kids sadly and is trying to reassure them she got this, she’s gonna find a way, it’ll be fine!!!

- Herakles and Michele wonder why Sadık didn't use that wish. To which Dilan replies he said he'd free her with it, but she didn't believe he'd actually uphold that promise. And he shouldn't have because now she's useless and he's in trouble. (And Hera only falls more in love with Sadık, because being a good person is HELLA swoony.)

- Dilan also tries to cheer them up and I believe she can still do small magic tricks, she just can't get out of whatever shackles/confinement she is in. So when she isn't despairing or raging, she tries to cheer Herakles and Michele up with some silly little tricks. She shapeshifts into their fathers to make fun of them. Which leads them to an idea ...

- I have no idea what it is though. I only know that the grand final and resolution involves shapeshifting. If anyone who's better at plots wants to give me ideas, please do.

- However they manage to stop Salvatore's machinations, this is what follows: Salvatore gets thrown into the dungeons. Herakles decides to not let his father out and instead take the crown himself. He becomes emperor and marries Sadık. Sadık uses his last wish to set Dilan free. Michele goes to travel to Sicily, promising he’ll write letters to them and come visit some day (Dilan promises the same).

- The end of Salvatore and Athanasios rotting in jail together is SO satisfying to me, bc now that they are useless to each other, there is nothing left to do but be a pain in each other’s ass. They hate each other and they DESERVE EACH OTHER.

Sequel Bait:

- Before we get to the sequel bait, let me give you some prequel bait for a change. Here's a little "what if one of the many suitable matches for Herakles had been one of the Beilschmidt brothers" scenario. Plus free medieval history lesson:

- Now for the actual sequel: Three years come and go. Herakles and Sadık settle in their new rules as emperor and ... emperor's husband. (I don't know if Byzantine empresses were "put into office" in the same way the Emperor was. If someone is more knowledgeable about this than me, correct me).

- Their marriage is going swell, however both struggle in their new official roles. Herakles faces all the administrative problems and tough decisionmaking that comes with being a ruler, while Sadık struggles to be accepted by the people of Constantinople. Where Herakles tends to take care of the court, Sadık tries his hand at being a military leader.

- One morning, Sadık wakes up with Herakles in the room. Which should not be surprising, if it wasn't for the fact that Herakles had left the city yesterday. He's oddly nonchalant about it when Sadık asks him and also ... weirdly chipper? Eager? Kitschy in his flirting? He's at first flattered, but soon very confused by everything and wonders if either he hit his head real hard in his sleep or if Herakles fell off his horse when he tried to make it out of the city.

- Turns out none of it, because after some more eyelash fluttering, his "husband" goes POOF! and turns out to be Dilan, who's on the floor laughing. "You should have seen your stupid face! Really! Wait, I'll show you!"

- After Dilan is done shapeshifting into Sadık, absolutely overacting his reaction and argueing with him about it, they finally get to catch up. Turns out that Dilan was bored by travelling around the world and wanted to check in on her old buddy.

- She couldn't have chosen a more opportune time to do so. Once Herakles returns, he ... at first has a weird reunion with his husband. Sadık is kind of wary around him and starts to list his attitude and general personality traits/ticks as proof for ... something. Takes a while for Herakles to get the news that Dilan is back, too.

- Herakles is very relieved to hear that! He wanted to confide something in Sadık, because after he had returned to the city, someone had taken him aside. Natasa Simonides, an old and trusted courtly advisor, needed help. Recently, her husband Ibrahim disappeared and she's worried.

- Natasa also told Herakles a secret: Ibrahim is a Jinn, which is why his disappearance worries her even more. Herakles informs Sadık and asks Dilan if she knows anything, but she sadly hasn't heard anything either. - Before she can zip off and see if she can find Ibrahim, Herakles asks another favour of her - to educate Natasa's twins, Timothea Farah and Omar Veniam instead. Natasa thinks they may be able to find their father, but they don't know they're half-Jinn, so they'd need some guidance. Dilan happily agrees to be their teacher!

- My only more in-depth infos on Jinn and their children with humans comes from this Monstrum video by PBS Storied. I don't think Thea & Omar would need to be taught by anyone to be seers and how to be in communication with non-human spheres, but it makes for a better story.

- So Dilan is off to teach the kids while Sadık volunteers to go and search for Ibrahim. Herakles resumes his imperial role in the city.

- It's not really fun and as the people become more and more agitated with the status quo, more and more people "remember" that the old emperor is still around. Enough people are going "What's that kid knowing anyways?! All those highfangled ideas and useless reforms, for what?" that a select few decide to stage a coup by releasing Athanasios from the dungeons.

- Now, I still haven't decided if Salvatore also gets let out. The problem is that I really would begrudge him his freedom ... but I also begrudge Athanasios his freedom! It doesn't feel fair that one bastard gets to walk free and the other doesn't!

- Out in the field, Sadık isn't having much more luck. No Jinn in sight and the trouble he has with a few of the men that accompany him keeps him thinking about the acceptance problems again. He really wishes at one point that Herakles wasn't emperor at all. You can imagine how terrible he feels for these thoughts when news of the coup catches up to them. Be careful what you wish for and all that jazz. On top of that, he gets into trouble as well - betrayed by some of the men he had taken along. He gets stuck in some place like a cave or an abandoned house he was investigating ...

- Sadık finds a large sealed bottle and thinks 'Well, what's the worst that could happen?' He is greeted by a GIANT cloud of smoke instead of anything edible/drinkable. By the time the cloud is human-shaped, he already has a giant grin on his face. Sadık: "Hah! I have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff!" Jinn: "Greetings, mor-" Sadık: "Yeah, yeah, quick question, is your name Ibrahim? Or do you know one of your kind called Ibrahim who's been passing through recently?" Jinn: "My name is Ibrahim - " Sadık: "Great! You know a Greek lady called Natasa? I take that look as a yes. Okay, so first wish is to get us out of here, second wish we'll see, third is like freeing you from the whole servitude bit - You do the three wishes thing, right? Anyways, your wife and kids are wishing for dad to come home, so get us out of here, you'll get explanations on the way back."

- In the meantime, Dilan and her protégés, along with Natasa and Herakles, have been trying to figure out how to solve the problem at court. It doesn't help that the news of Sadık's troubles also reached them (I know the speed of spreading information may be historically hella inaccurate, but I need it for the drama). So Dilan is torn between helping her best bud and helping the rest at court. The Greeks cook up a plan and assure her that she should go and help Sadık, they've got this.

- The plan is to get Athanasios to do something incredibly stupid that would immediately turn the people against him. They exploit the fact that Athanasios likes to listen to words that fall from pretty lady's mouths. So Timothea flatters her eyelashes and promises to tell him something of a vision she had ... that the divine has something to tell him through her. (Don't worry for her, she may have to endure his fingers under her chin, which is infuriating and nauseous enough, but no more skin contact than this). Thea gets backed by her brother to lend it more credibility once Athanasios considers with his head and not his dick.

- And we can all appreciate that Dilan has been sent away, otherwise the scene would have been like this: Thea: "The spirits are talking to me about you ... " Dilan: "Mhm, mhm, indeed, I can hear them to. They're saying that you're a bitch!"

- Dilan in the meantime reaches Sadık, Ibrahim and those of his troop that haven't betrayed and abandoned him as soon as they heard of the coup. A little happy reunion before she immediately fills them in on what's happening.

- They come up with a plan themselves to finally get rid of Athanasios and the Simonides and Herakles have begun to sweat a little back home, because Athanasios mistake of listening to the twins' advice has bought them time, but not really solved the problem yet. Which is when Dilan and Ibrahim sweep in, concocting an illusion powerful enough to wrap up everyone in Constantinople and make Athanasios seem like the literal devil. Some mass-hallucination miracle bullshit, truly, to assert that he doesn't deserve the throne.

- Maybe for good measure, Athanasios disappears after the illusion is over. Dilan and Ibrahim have no idea where he went, they say with a smile.

- Another grand finale! The four lovers are reunited, Thea and Omar are overjoyed to have their dad back and he is overjoyed to have his kids back. When Dilan tells the Simonides twins that they did a great job, she's a good teacher after all haha!, Ibrahim and Natasa invite her to stay. Dilan says that they don't need her, surely, now that Ibrahim can teach them, but Ibrahim says he could use some help. Herakles also encourages her, saying that he'd love to have her at court - and Sadık also bullies her into staying. "What do you wanna do, see the world again? Didn't do much for your peanut brain the first time around, maybe hit the books together with Hera so that you'll be a passable teacher some day."

- Dilan and Omar also have evolved a crush on one another during this entire mess. That's what I'll leave you with - all well that ends well.

Also hey you! Thanks for reading all of this! Here's a little bonus content if you made it this far!

A wonderful fanart of Michele and Salvatore by my beloved friend C0FFINATED over on twitter!

Here's an amazing commission of the Greeks and Turks by @captkirkland ! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to repost the pictures myself on tumblr & you shoud reblog it from him anyways. Show him and his amazing art some love! From left to right it's Timothea, Herakles, Omar, then Dilan, Sadık and Havva (who's not featured in this AU, rip. Things would have worked to well with their brainpower).

Thanks for reading this! Hope you have a wonderful day!

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ryuichirou · 3 years

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I saw one very stupid post on my dash about how snk is OBVIOUSLY nazi propaganda and trying to convert all of us into imperialists and white supremacists. tbh it’s not the first time I’ve seen that kind of stuff and probably won't be the last, but for some reason this time it gave me a lot of anxiety (I got wordy, I'mma need to send another ask, sorry)

(part 2) It's been more than half and hour and I still feel this awful sensation in my chest. It's just overall pretty fucked how to have something you hold dear being misinterpreted in the worst way possible, and I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this situation or how you deal with people claiming all sorts of awful shit.

(part 3) I imagine that as an artist some people probably direct their issues with snk towards you, 'cause I don't even post that much fanart and I've gotten anons "trying to educate me" on why this series is so wrong, after posting drawings. Of course, you don't have to reply, maybe the topic makes you anxious too and I don't want to bother you, so sorry for the depressing topic (｡•́︿•̀｡)

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Tiiish, I want to hug you, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’re feeling a little bit better now.

Like we already mentioned a while ago, when we were talking about that darn article, after we read through it and did a little fact checking (and I mean it when I say a little, because there weren’t many facts to check), we stopped caring about it. It’s not research at all, just a manipulatively written speculation on Yam’s motives and worldview, but sadly, people easily believe these accusations because they hate SnK and want to find a valid reason to hate it and shit on its fanbase. Because “I hate it because it’s nazi propaganda” sounds much cooler than “I hate it because it’s popular”, doesn’t it?

It’s easier to ignore the article itself though, and it’s much harder not to think about tumblr posts or those Twitter threads that get very popular (although there are a lot of bots on twitter, trust me…), and it’s especially difficult to ignore it when it’s specifically directed at you. But the only thing that these people deserve is a good ol’ block and (if they’re getting too offensive and abusive) a report for harassment. The thing is, their opinion doesn’t matter: it won’t change SnK’s story, it won’t affect its success and popularity, it doesn’t affect anything other than our mood (temporarily lol). Because they aren’t critics who actually give a flying fuck about the subject matter, they’re just random assholes with a hateboner for SnK, who sit in their echochamber and discuss the same shit over and over again. And if they’re “fans” of the SnK, it’s just them “consuming it critically” 🙄 such a convenient phrase and so easy to abuse.

If we think about these accusations again… they’re so damn nonsensical, it’s almost amazing. I’m not going to reread it or to make a proper counterpoint article out of this ask, so this is just based on how we remember these accusations.

Like, what part of SnK approves and pushes the idea of imperialism in any way? When the entire idea of the story is that war is bad? When people like Onyankopon, whose homeland was invaded by Marley, exist? And it’s never portrayed as a good thing? Having only one country dominating the world’s situation is literally the main reason why everyone’s suffering??

And come to think of it, Isayama is one of the few manga artists to kind of sort of openly critique Japan: he literally drew Kiyomi losing her cool and drooling while thinking about all the profit and wealth she would get from the deal with Paradis. Why do people never talk about that? What is it, if not a critique of greedy and two-faced nature of people from Azumabito clan, who are heavily implied to represent Japan? I don’t read a lot of manga in general, but do you know how many mangakas I’ve seen who directly talked shit about Japan while being Japanese? Two. Excluding Isayama.

Isayama is clearly invested in the Western culture and he understands the World’s History. He understands that political relationships are complex and that there are no “bad” or “good” countries. I don’t want to make assumptions about how much perspective of the world’s relationships the average person from Japan has, but I still feel like Yams has a pretty good understanding of it. He did his research for the subject matter, and while it’s obviously not perfect, it’s clearly there.

These people also claim that SnK is anti-Korean and anti-Semitic, but if Hetalia had taught me anything, it is that if the story has or used to have any anti-Korean undertones, the Korean readers wouldn’t want to have anything to do with it. They would be the first people to ditch the manga, they would be the first people to critique SnK, and rightfully so. They burnt Uniqlo clothes, their overall domestic policy is pretty anti-Japanese, so there’re literally zero reasons for them not to destroy SnK if they see it as anti-Korean. But the size of the Korean SnK fandom suggests otherwise, doesn’t it.

And the “big noses = Jewish caricature” argument, seriously? How anti-Semitic can you get? Who the fuck looks at people and goes “oh, those have big noses, bet they’re caricature of Jews”?? Sorry I’m getting heated lol The argument about “Asian artists portray Westerners with prominent noses because that’s what we look like to them” has been done a lot of times, I’m not going to go over than again.

And god forbid Isayama to use Germany and Europe to draw a story where his characters are (approximately) Germans and Europeans! Let’s go fetch our pitchforks to punish Isayama for using their aesthetic to make his story look more believable and authentic, right? “Oh, those areas where they hold Eldians resemble places from real life”, like no shit???? Ofc they would??? That’s what references for making the story more grounded are used for??? If I were to write a story about a fictional place based on a real one that I don’t live in, I’d use some visual references to help me to make it more believable??? Why do I even need to explain that?

In my previous post I talked about the armbands and ghetto and stuff, but I’ll reiterate: even if there are thematic similarities, it doesn’t mean that the story mirrors our history. And it doesn’t mean that there is an analogy, since Eldian’s situation is quiiiite different than what Jewish people had to go through. It’s just thematic similarities. And it still doesn’t plant any specific idea in the reader’s head, other than “having people shoved into ghettos with 0 civil rights is a horrible thing”, and I can’t comprehend what’s anti-Semitic or imperialistic about it. Also I’m sorry, but nazis are not the only people who genocided a bunch of people, breaking news. Nor did they invent armbands. Same goes for Japan in WWII.

And now for my favourite argument: Erwin is nazi because his name is Erwin and he was born on the same day than some nazi guy died… I won’t even talk about why this idea is hilariously stupid, I just want to appreciate the level of nitpicking that’s going on here.

So… yeah. People who have nothing else to do but to complain about the show they hate don’t matter. And people who consider themselves a part of the SnK fandom and still say this bs (yep, there are people who do that) are huge hypocrites. The heck are they doing in this fandom then?? Of course, any story is up to interpretation, but this is so backwards?

Sorry for rambling so much… anyways. We’re happy enough not to encounter any hate related to this topic, but we think it’s because we ship Ereri and people already hate us for that, so the majority of shit we get is related to that, I guess we’re a lost cause for them. We’ll see if anything happens after this post though.

But once again, I’m very sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember that this isn’t personal at all, and people who harass strangers on the internet just want to flex their high moral ground while acting like complete assholes. You don’t have to explain anything to them, you don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to listen to them or give them any attention. I hope you’ll never stumble upon anything like this; but if you ever do, please block them, don’t even bother reading their attempts at “educate” you. Isn’t worth it.

Please have a good day, Tish. And everyone who’s reading this reply.

#replies

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medea10 · 5 years

Text

My Review of One Punch Man 2

#one punch man #one punch man 2 #Saitama #genos #garou #fubuki #bang #king

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fusion-ego · 4 years

Text

So... 2019, huh?

((LONG post ahead!))

This year has really been something, hasn’t it? I had to quit my second job ever because of my back problems (along with other shit lol), I hardly wrote anything all year, and I started in on my Bachelor’s degree. I moved 1600 miles cross-country to Arizona and I’ve been down here for six months now! I had to leave my Markiplier Nudes Calendar™ back in Illinois because I forgot to take it off my wall before I left and it probably got thrown away by the landlord :c, I let my parents borrow a credit card for the move down here and went into debt as a result of almost single-handedly financing the move, had several breakdowns, and despite my best attempts I haven’t been able to get a job yet, but I’m still trying!

A lot of things happened this year.

I turned 20.

I started liking myself again after years of literally hating myself and that quickly advanced to me loving myself again. Turns out I’m pretty cool, even if I am annoying as fuck.

Turns out that having primarily depressive episodes and not having the motivation or desire to take care of myself doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t make my struggles invalid just because I’m the one not taking care of myself. It turns out, taking care of yourself is fucking hard sometimes, especially if the combined symptoms of your mental and physical ailments put you in a position where everything feels like too much.

It also turns out that taking care of yourself is difficult when you’ve spent your entire life (or at least the parts where you actually had friends) putting all of the wants and needs of your friends and loved ones above your own.

Taking care of yourself is hard when you were raised to be The Strong One, who doesn’t break down and who doesn’t have any issues, thanks. The one who, sure, they haven’t showered in a week and they feel like crap because they haven’t eaten, but you don’t need to know that! You just go eat and take a shower, hun, The Strong One is okay.

It took until this year for me to learn that being The Strong One didn’t mean I couldn’t break down sometimes. It didn’t mean I couldn’t take time for myself and that I had to be available all the time for my friends. Setting boundaries has been a learning experience for me and everyone else in my friend group, I think. I think I’ve cried more this year than I have since I was a kid, and you know what that is? Growth.

And honestly, I’ve really gotta thank my lovely fiance @goreyglitches for some of that. I am petrified of crying when anyone can see or hear me. I was raised to be The Strong One and The Strong One doesn’t cry. I conditioned myself to not be a “crybaby” and to never, ever, ever cry. And I know that’s bad - repressing negative emotions just makes it worse in the long-run. I figured that out with anger and tried to fix it long before I tried to fix the crying issue, and this year? This year Tobi’s helped a lot. I trust him, and I feel safe with him, so when he shuts the door and pulls the covers over us and holds me and tells me it’s okay to cry, I cry. And I am so grateful to him for that I don’t think I even have words.

And @ashencreations has been a wonderful friend this year, as always, even if both of us have been having issues this year. They’ve, I think, been one of the people I vented to the absolute most and they’ve been a real peach about it and even if I don’t have a whole lot of energy to talk sometimes (most of the time) they still love me and are accommodating of my issues. That’s pretty cool! I know a lot of people who can’t talk to people they’ve dated in the past and I have to admit I wouldn’t have been surprised if we fell out this year, but here we are - finishing another year as best friends. They let me have my space and they check in to make sure I’ve eaten and slept and showered. And I try to do the same but my check-ins have been a little lackluster this year while I find my boundaries so oops for that. I’ll try harder next year!

And really, I have to thank everyone who’s stuck with me through this year. My friends and my followers and even just folks who know me because I’m mutuals with someone they’re friends with - all of you. I know this year has sucked and I’ve been really annoying and I’m constantly asking for money, so thank you for sticking around. I’m trying to get back into the old swing of things and I’ve put in about a billion applications and I’m in University, can you believe that? You guys being patient even when I’m annoying has been really helpful. This is especially true of the folks in Lexi’s server who have to see me venting all the time. Y’all are darlings and I’m sorry I keep dragging my shit in there lmao I’ll try not to so much next year.

I’m especially thankful, though, I think, of the people who are still with me after so many years of knowing me. Like Ran and Ness and Zare and Comedy and even Em, even if we don’t talk. I mean, Em probably the most - she knew me when I was such a shithead that it’s kinda laughable now and yet she’s willing to be mutuals with me now. That’s pretty funny. (Hey, Em, guess who’s still trying to figure out how to write that TMNT thing and make it as interesting as the original idea was?) And of course I’ve known Comedy since elementary school but we didn’t really get close until high school and then I dropped off the face of the earth for like a year lol but she’s been a peach the whole time I’ve known her. And Ran’s been around for a while, we’ve known each other long enough that he probably still remembers when I went by Al. And Ness, who doesn’t have tumblr to my knowledge, well I’ve known her since diapers and she’s going to be the Maid of Honor at mine and Tobi’s wedding when we have the money to do a real ceremony - I would have filled that place at her wedding, too, if her sister-in-law wasn’t a needy bitch who had to have that position or she’d pitch a fit and ruin the entire wedding. And like, don’t even get me started on Zare, who was there when I was the worst shithead I’ve ever been and somehow still likes me even all these years later. I introduced myself to this man as Prussia, y’all. I introduced myself to him as a fallen kingdom because it was easier to pronounce than my legal name.

(It may have also been because I was into Hetalia and projected onto the character really hard because of all the “I’m awesome!” and thought it would help me be more confident, and also perhaps because my legal name being mispronounced led to a lot of people knowing me as a different fallen kingdom so it was a haha funny joak to me)

Also, this year, a certain vine-man turned youtube-man made a video that really, really spoke to me. Thomas introducing Remus and having an entire episode about intrusive thoughts and ‘bad’ creativity was - it meant a lot to me. Because since 2018, when I started writing Ego stuff, I haven’t... Well, I used to write a lot of dark stuff, y’all. I wrote violent shit because I wanted to and it was kinda just my Thing™. But after I started writing Ego stuff I started feeling like that was problematic, like it was a bad thing that I wanted to write nasty stuff like that. No one did anything to make me think that! It was just that, well, that kind of violence just... Seemed out of place. I’ve been in the process of writing a 146K+ word, 43 chapter fic containing ritualistic cannibalism, murder, unsafe sex, and various other nasty things since 2017 and I spent a terrifying amount of time feeling... Bad for that last year and this year. I’ve had to re-learn that it’s okay to write nasty stuff (no matter the moral issues other people take with it) because exploring not-so-great things in fic, especially to cope, is one of the many points of writing fic. And I’ll be honest, my dumpster fire fic was something I was writing to get through my associate’s degree because it was a new and terrifying experience and the prominent theme of running away was a feeling I was dealing with in tandem at the time. Remus’ introduction reminded me that dealing with intrusive thoughts and exploring the ‘bad’ creativity doesn’t make me a bad person, it just means I have nasty ideas and even the best people can have those. At least I can turn them into something I’m proud of writing.

So, going forward, I’m not going to shy away from writing my nasty stuff, and in 2020 I’m going to try and finish Trial and Error. I haven’t updated it since August, 2018, guys, it needs a new chapter.

And on that note, I don’t usually make New Years’ Resolutions. I never saw the point in the past and it wasn’t something super encouraged by anyone around me, so it never seemed important. But I’m making a resolution this year.

Over the years and years of writing, I’ve encountered something I think every writer encounters - I stopped writing. Now, I’m not saying I don’t write. Obviously I do, and have been, for a long time. I’m saying I don’t write like I used to. In 2013/2014 I wrote a 36-chapter Sly Cooper fic featuring an OC that still gets hits to this day, and I wrote it over the course of three months. I started it in November 2013 and it was done and put aside by the third of January 2014. It’s still one of my favorites! But the chapters are short, the storyline needs work, I didn’t spellcheck anything or even remotely try to keep my timeline completely straight. It was the first multi-chapter story exceeding 10 chapters that I ever finished. I wrote a chapter a day, as long as I was capable of doing so, I posted it, and I never looked back. It’s not a great story, but it’s one of my favorites. I loved it then and I love it now. And that’s something I don’t do anymore! When a fic doesn’t live up to my expectations, I don’t love it like I love that old fic, which did not at all live up to my expectations. My perfectionism has developed over the years and it has killed my creativity. I can still make cool stuff, can still make things I like, but it’s not the same anymore.

So my resolution is, in 2020, I’m going to write.

I’m going to write like I used to, but I’m going to put all of my experience into it.

I started writing in 2008 or 2009, maybe even before that - if I can recapture the love I had for it then, then I will be in great shape. I didn’t spellcheck back then and frankly I kinda sucked at writing even in 2013/2014, but if I can love writing like I did then and put all of what I’ve learned into it? Holy shit. I mean, I’ve been rewriting that old Sly Cooper fic for the past couple weeks, so it’s not exactly a mystery how much better things will turn out if I pour my much better spelling and grammar, my better ideas, my better commitment, into my fics going forward. All I need to make them great is to love doing it.

So in 2020, I’m going to write.

2019 has been a wild ride, and I’ve written less than half of what I wrote in 2018, not even counting all of my Ego requests for either year. I’ve spent the last three days in a mad dash to reach 100K written this year on AO3 by writing 30K before midnight tonight. I have 5K left! But even breaching 100K I won’t be halfway there. In 2018 I wrote 225.6K on AO3, not counting Ego stuff. And I think that’s because I haven’t loved doing it like I used to - the fact that I’ve loved the fic I started in order to make my “30K by tonight” goal and I haven’t let myself have enough time to agonize over whether it’s “good” or not has a lot of effect on how much I’ve written. My wordcount per hour has, like, doubled because I actually wanted to work. So I’ll reach my goal by tonight and still have time to celebrate at midnight.

So, again, thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this crazy year. Things haven’t been great, I’ll be honest, but I’m hoping next year will be better. They’re already off to a good start - my dad and I have a plan for him to start paying me back for how much money we spent moving here, and if I can get a job it’ll only get easier and it’ll only get better. And on top of that me and Tobi have plans to legalize our Marriage™ in September. It won’t be anything big - we’re waiting to have a real ceremony until we have the money to make sure Zare and Ness and Ran can come. But if all goes well, on 9/20/20 we’ll have the legal shit sorted out and Tobi will officially be my husband so that’s just another thing to be looking forward to.

Happy New Year, y’all! Hope you all have a good one. I speak a good 2020 into existence and I won’t stop until I get it.

#happy new year #long post #personal #sort of #new years eve 2019 #new years 2020

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a-writing-bear · 5 years

Text

[PruCan] Chapter 11: Soft-Spoken Calling, They Want Their Shyness Back

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159997/chapters/48552656

This Has been cross-posted onto FF & Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on Tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’ - Ao3 version is formatted, tumblr version is not. Ao3 is recommended.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing: Gilbert Beilschmidt & Matthew Williams (Prussia & Canada)

AU: College AU - Art Student Matthew and Media/Film Student Gilbert

Age Rating/Mature: Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings: Recreational Drugs & minor connotations of anxiety (Future addiction to mention themes such as addiction, rape etc.) WITHIN THIS CHAPTER - Mentions a lot of Weed. Unwanted touching (just mentions but slightly uncomfortable)

10 pm was a good time to arrive at a party, they decided. Vanilla milkshakes always made Matthew feel better- however maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have one after that coffee from earlier, and especially considering he was about to jacked up. Oh well. That’s something I'll deal with tomorrow. The Dutchman and himself had been on their way to Matthias & Lukas’ house, music-making his head pound already and feeling antsy over the prospect of more socialising. They had made very little conversation as the Mattie drove- only vaguely keeping attention to Tim’s random commentary and occasional directions. The Nordic couple had been renting out some house in the suburbs with 3 other students- very obviously avoiding living anywhere near the student dorms or the student housing as they liked to prevent interaction with the rest of Himaruya Academy; when you were hosting smoke outs and various amounts of overzealous drinkers and gambling, you tend to want to avoid the loud crowds. These events were closed doors, invite-only per se. Nothing like Alfred’s big bash parties that turned the university dorms into the likes of open summer festivals. They had only just touched the gravel of the house pavement when Matthew was hit with the familiar whistle of a certain Cuban man who had recognised their red car.

“EYYY LUKAS, TIM AND MATTIE ARE HERE.” the Cuban accent used to make Matthew shiver but was meaningless once he learnt Carlos was very straight, and if evidence needed planting then Carlos already on the porch with some girls he didn’t recognise and was flagged to go in after a friendly wave as he was too busy flirting to give Matt and actual hello. Tim had followed behind, loosening his tie as they sauntered up the door, only to have it ripped open by an unimpressed looking face of the shorter man known by Lukas.

The Norwegian seemed to raise his eyebrows to see that they both arrived together, usually, it would always be Tim first before Matthew came coming in. “Hej. Earlier than usual. Matthias is already down in the den with Jack.”

Tim had disappeared into the kitchen, making haste to avoid the heavy drinkers that surrounded the living room and especially avoid that Russian dude that seems to be pouring what looked like half a bottle of vodka into his cup. Meanwhile, Lukas had offered to stash away Matthew’s precious hoodie in the closet as he made their way down to the basement. The hypnotising dragging voice of Tame Impala's Kevin Parker grew louder as Matthew's sneakers hit the staircase floorboards down into the dreary but comfortable den. Jack must have picked the music, but I can dig it. Already he could smell the stink of imported kush, the haziness of what seemed like a spiked stream flowing around- only placated and diluted due to the small basement hopper window that let the smoke out. Matthew kicked off his sneakers at the bottom, already enjoying the vibe- or perhaps already being affected by secondhand smoke. Matthias had opened the basement bathroom to double steam the first few sessions of weed but it proved worthless as there seems to be a continuous stream of smokers mingling in and out of the den. Matthias was a tall blonde mess, a big optimist who wore long shirts under brightly coloured tees- a stark contrast to the bland wardrobe that Lukas wore (Opposites do attract I suppose) and the Danish guy was laying belly up on some very tacky shag carpet, at the feet of Jack who was lazed around on some beanbag, bong in his lap haphazardly.

“Oi Mate- bout time you showed up, I was getting bored. Where’s Timtam?” Matthew shrugged and sat cross-legged right near the dazed Dane’s face.

“Don’t call him that, he’ll throw a fit. What’s this? Yours or Tim’s?”

Jack snickered, the Australian clearly buzzed on something, “Buddy if this was Tim’s hooch I wouldn’t be sharing with goldie over here” he pointed and laughed as he listened to Matthias whine in offence. To be fair, the guy did go through more weed than Jack and Matthew combined so it was a fair enough statement. Matthew leant back, arms behind him as he dug his hands into the soft and a bit scruffy faux fur of the carpet- Matthias was giggling high about something and had pushed his head into Matthew’s lap.

“Hold kæft! I’m not that shit! Fuck Mattttt where’s Tim?”

“Upstairs I think- please pass the bong Jack” Matthew carefully stroked the hair that weaselled its way into his lap, he didn’t mind touchy stoners, he was the same whenever he got a hit- he just wished the big couch wasn’t full of clothes so he wouldn't have to sit on the floor. Just as he had the glass bulb in his hand Tim had marched in from upstairs, throwing a bag of chips and lots of biscuits into the beanbag next to Jack. Matthew tutted as Matthias apologised about not having those maple cookies he liked, whereas the Australian was more pleased to see some recognisable red liquorice. The green-eyed man had pulled out a pipe and dragged the spare beanbag to be behind Matthew, and it was not long before all four of the boys had taken a few hits and became a bunch of giggling messes.

“So whattya been up to mate?”

“Maybe he finally went back to Canada or something right Mattttt?

“Ahaha yea seen any geese or something mate?? Shit, we should have gone- BC bud hol-y” the conversation seemed disjointed and Matthew was already too far gone to think about going back to Canada. He notes that yeah, it’s been a bit since he’d come for a smoke out, and he didn't answer as he was too preoccupied with the stem of his bong and the noise of shouting celebrations of poker players upstairs.

“Schatje has a new uh...gig” Tim snorted, he, however, was definitely less jacked than the 3 who seemed to light up at the sentence.

“Oooooooo who be it?? Who is it, Mattie?” Matthew let out a wail of disapproval at the conversation, Tim was supposed to be his friend yet he’s pushed him into a corner of answers.

“Some dude..guy...fucking cute- uh Gil..red eyes oof real red...shiny eyes.” his mind wandered as he let himself lean on the edge of Tim’s beanbag, Matthias had already stumbled off the floor, excited and eager to hear like some high school girl. Jack had his eyebrows raised and the singlet wearing man moved closer from his position to meet Matthew’s rosy expression.

“Wow, Matties got the giggles for someone huh? Hah Timtam good luck mate.” Tim avoided any eye contact and instead focused on his pipe and refilled it with some mary jane from the communal bag nearby. An indignant noise came out of Tim as he growled at the stupid nickname.

“Wait- Gil? Gilbert? The band shirt guy? Isn’t he the one who got wasted at Francis’ big blowout last time” Matthias mentioned, arms waving and dismissed as he continued to squirm along the floor.

“Oh Gilllly boy, mates with uh Antonio or something, that bitch?”

“Fuck I don’t know...he listens to uh...mom jeans too ya know- fuck me.” the two laughed at Matthew’s comment but didn’t push for more- it’s been too long since Matthew had shown interest in someone, who were they to question. Especially not while they were all getting smoked. Tim looked disinterested in the topic anyway and was more concerned with tangling his fingers in Matthew’s strawberry blonde hair as the Canadian had sat between his legs. God fuck cuddles were nice. Matthew's voice broke out into more wailing as he sung along to Snowy Dunes. The music was soothing. He hoped there was more.

The music melted out into something he didn't quite recognise: “Who the FUCK put Queens of stone age on the queue?” Jack complained. ah fuck. he agreed over the change in the artist. shame, he quite liked Snowy Dunes more than Queens of Stone age At some point, Lukas had dragged his very giggly boyfriend upstairs and Jack had been huddled in a corner snacking by himself. Matthew didn’t know what time it was but he’d wiggled his way from his scarf-wearing friend and clambered up the staircase, laughing at the terrible decor on the walls- he could paint better graffiti than the shitty art pieces the house owners had displayed. He didn’t realise how he’d find himself on the couch near Ivan and some other foreign sounding students. Ivan was cool. Weird. Haha, I V A N. fuck ‘ee van.’ who names their kid Ivan anyway? Doesn't get more Russian than that. Shit ice hockey. Russian players are always so grabby. Man, I’d kill for some Cheetos right now.

There were about 10 people in the room- and some Matthew only recognised by name. Everyone here barely attempted to talk outside of this safe house. What happened on Saturday nights never got passed the lawn, it was an unspoken law. Matthew always wondered was that because of the copious amount of shagging that happened? The excessive card games or maybe the fact that all these people were just kids who can’t bear to go to the bigger parties. Matthew couldn’t decide. He couldn’t even figure out why he was here. Why was anyone here? Why are we still here? Just to suffer? He laughed at his inner joke.

The teen’s mind wandered in circles and had been offered a drink by some Finnish kid he recognised as Lukas’ housemate. The music up here was incessantly blasting rock- something that he’d love if it wasn’t so dizzy. He melted further into the couch, barely turning to watch the poker match of some guys a few meters away. Matthew liked this house. Even with people here, it wasn’t suffocating. He could feel someone touching his hair again. Hosers. Why always my hair. The fingers started roaming his shoulders...and his thigh. Suddenly Matthew felt more sobered as he shuffled away and tried to find a pillow to hide behind. He felt woozy and extremely giddy despite his anxiousness to escape anymore touching. He stood up throwing the pillow outside and went hunting for some water. He didn’t want to feel this light anymore. Not now. Matthew couldn’t remember feeling this light and heavy all at the same time. And suddenly, he just couldn’t remember a lot of things. There was a lot of loud singing. He laughed.

---

Alfred had been dropped off at his dorm building at around 9:20 pm, and by 9:30 he’d launched his discord chat and set up his microphone so that he could huddle on his bed without having to jostle his laptop so much later. The blue-eyed American had only one reason to not be out partying like he usually did with his cousin Francis, only one other reason why he was studying with his brother and one other reason why he hadn’t been chasing up local girls and guys

“Hey, Keeks!”

His voice rattled with poorly disguised joy as his Japanese friend had picked up. Alfred and Kiku had hit it off foundation year, and while it was upsetting that eventually, the black-haired beauty had to transfer back to the other campus, Alfred had made it his job to stay in contact. Kiku was a genius. On par if not smarter than Alfred and that was considered high praise. The two shared stories, For the Asian man it was only just the start of the day so Alfred accompanied him through his breakfast as they shared concepts for different additions to each other’s current project. Robotics has always intrigued Alfred but there was no secret that his wonder had not been merely just been present because of the technological prowess that his crush displayed.

“Alfred-kun. I thought you said you had something with your Brother tonight.” Kiku’s soft voice filtered through the screen, he knew all about Alfred’s personal life and was under the impression the call was cancelled for some family bonding.

“Nah, dude. He’s out with his not-boyfriend. I don’t know what he’s up to. Probably exchanging spit or reading together again.” Alfred Sighed. Knowing his boring brother, he was just watching some movie with Tim again. He’s probably just sleeping.

#prucan #HWS Canada #HWS Prussia #SoftSpokenCalling #prussia x canada #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #Axis Powers Hetalia #hetalia world stars #Hetalia Fanfiction #hetalia fandom #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #APH Canada #APH Prussia #Multichapter

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silver-kitsuneneko · 6 years

Text

Conventions Are NOT Consent

I hate making rants. But because of this shit with Momokun, I have a few things I would like to say. First, I’m not going to bash her or anything, the internet has done that enough and she’s seriously not worth my time but will use her as an example to talk about why she and people like her are what’s wrong with the convention community. It has become more and more of a problem in the recent years. Whenever you have to have signs all over a con saying something that you any adult SHOULD know is not only sad but troubling. Cosplay is NOT consent and Just because you’re at an anime convention; all social etiquette is still in play! Look I get it, going to a con is a chance for people to be themselves. It’s a de-stressor where you can sit back, relax, geek out with old and new friends and then go back to the grind. Yes, a convention is a space where you can dress up, be weird, or whatever, hell even vendors and artists get into it. What job can you have where you can walk to a person for hours about your favorite TV show and get paid for it! However, there are a few idiots who think “I’m at a convention! This means I can do whatever I want!” Yeah no, just because you’re at an anime convention or event, doesn’t mean you can do whatever, common sense is still in play. And it’s sad that this has to be stated but here are a few things you should not do at a convention

First, Keep You Hands to Yourself! This is a phrase that most of us have learned in preschool, kindergarten, first grade, and by second grade it’s literately drilled into our heads that unless someone says it’s okay, DON’T TOUCH ANYONE! Though there are exceptions to the rule, like spontaneous hugs and things but if you don’t like someone to hug you, PLEASE tell them. Personally, I like getting hugs but some people don’t like being touched at all. We are also taught in school, at home, and early 90s PSAs that we have all no-no areas. For women there’s three no-no area, for men there’s two no-no areas and no one has the right to touch you in YOUR no-no area without consent. So things like groping a woman’s breasts, pinching a man’s butt, or putting something in close contact against or near someone’s private parts without their consent is sexual harassment and violation of that person’s space. Men: if you see a woman in a sexy cosplay, breasts out, ass out, posing and jiggling her breasts, this does NOT give you any right to touch her. If she’s fully clothed and you think she’s attractive and want to talk to her and she’s into you and flirt with you, this does NOT give you the right to touch her. If she’s at a convention or anywhere minding her business, this does NOT give you the right to touch her. If you wouldn’t do it outside of a convention, then don’t do it at a convention. Women: Contrary to popular belief, men are not 24/7 sex addicts. They don’t crave sex and constant stimulation and this should be an excuse to harass them either. If you see a hot guy dressed as a dead ringer of your family anime character, this does NOT give you the right to touch him. If he’s not in cosplay and looks like you average or handsome joe, this does NOT give you the right to touch them. If they are at an anime convention minding their business, this does NOT give you the right to touch them. It’s sad to say but if Momokun was a male cosplayer and doing the things she has done, she would have been blacklisted and jailed by now. But there are other ways people have started to harass others at cons. Also, making a cosplay costs a lot of time and a lot of MONEY. Whether someone gets it custom made, made it themselves, or bought it, money was involved. What does this mean? This means that if you do touch someone’s prop or cosplay without permission and ruin it, you made that person lose money or have to figure out how to save it. It’s not fair to that person that they want to fix YOUR mistake because you didn’t ask for permission and messed up weeks or months of work.

Do NOT take photos of anyone or anything without consent. Now taking pictures to capture a moment is not anything new. It’s actually a fun pastime. But with the way cameras have evolved within the last decade, it’s easier than ever before to have take a photo and upload it and share it. This is a good thing but when it’s used to harass and bully, it’s a problem. In the early days of the internet, there was a website dedicated to making fun at bad cosplay. And their definition of “bad” were people who did do the effort but were overweight, underweight or the “wrong” ethnicity to cosplay the character. Now, the many people just randomly go to cons and take photos of people and use for sites and things. Once again not bad but many people do NOT want their pictures taken. Some are camera shy, some people are sensitive to lights, some may not be in their best look, and some cosplayers know that if someone is chasing them down for a picture with them in a revealing outfit, it’s not for a good reason, so in that case “ask before you take!” It became so much of a problem that for awhile, there were incidents were men were ejected from cons and banned because they had cameras and taking lewd photos of female attendees and cosplayers alike. Because of this, security has been amped up became some of these people have been blacklisted from all conventions. Case in point, there was an incident where one of these people slipped through the cracks. I was at the event and the event itself was disorganized from the get go but because someone stole something they had security roaming and this man came out of nowhere, got down on the ground and took a few up skirt shots of a friend of mine. She of course screamed and tried to restrain him but he got away but thankfully because of the previous incident, security was on high alert and he was immediately apprehended. Because of this and many incidents, taking photographs were added to the cosplay is not consent movement. This also extends to artist and vendor wares as well. I have seen and was a victim of people taking photographs without permission. For artists who draw, they know it’s because they don’t want to buy the print so they’ll take a picture instead. For makers, many take pictures just to see how it’s made but in rare cases, to t come back for it later. In any case, it doesn’t to ask before you snap. It’s just common courtesy. Once again, if you wouldn’t do it outside of a convention, don’t do it inside.

A convention is not your personal anime fantasy and use common sense. Many people go to conventions. Once again, fun and de-stressing however, it’s not like you’re living in a real life anime or a protagonist in an anime. So what does this means? Don’t treat anyone like literal shit because you want to be funny or edgy just for one day. Don’t ask or be tsundere because that’s what you identify as. Tsunderes are assholes on anime and they are assholes in reality. Don’t run after someone and assault them because you’re a yandere and that person is with your “senpai”. Don’t go up to people cosplaying as certain characters and attempt to carry them off insult them because they are like this character in this show. Sadly in the Hetalia fandom, there were a lot these instances from the Nazi salute with Germany cosplayers and randomly calling Spain cosplayers pedophiles. Or an incident where a group of cosplayers kidnapped a young child because she was dressed as Chibi America. Don’t insult or roast guests or voice actors because you want to look cool in front of your friends because once again, you look like an asshole. It’s a no win solution for most because if a voice actor or actor have a reputation for being rude or mean to fans it can damage their career. A good example of this would be a recent convention with the actors of Infinity War with a group of disrespectful fangirls. As I said, playfulness or okay but roasting and being a complete jerk is not funny or cool. It’s one of the reasons why actors and actresses or voice actors don’t go to conventions. It’s a miracle that Josh Keaton still tries to connect with his fans after all of the hate and backlash he’s gotten. Also, anime girls are different from girls in real life so don’t think “I saw in a manga where a boy meets a girl and he fondles her and she get aroused and he took her virginity and now she’s his girlfriend because of this so it should work with other girls” or “if I compliment her breasts and she’s nice to me, it’s her right to have sex with me” is something that happens. If you saw it in a manga KEEP it in your head, if you try to replicate anything you saw in a hentai manga or any manga of that nature you are not only the problem but you will get arrested. I added this in because there are some people who thing like this and it’s disgusting.

Finally, do NOT blame your behavior on any mental disorder or condition or upbringing anything really. This is something that I’ve seen before and Momokun is just one of many who have done this. Having ADHD, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, autism (high functioning), or bipolar disorder is NOT an excuse for inappropriate actions! I have known MANY people who have used excuses like these as an excuse for being assholes or doing something idiotic and it needs to stop. My toxic booth mate often used her upbringing and bipolar disorder as the reason for being asshole, I knew of an incident where a friend’s coworker was acting obnoxious and loud and when called on it they stated “I have autism so I don’t know any better”. I have a few friends who are high function autistic and when I told them the story they even said “yeah no, you don’t scream and act out if you’re high functioning”. Being “smart” doesn’t give you the right to spout racial slurs or jerking off into cups. Not knowing any better is also not an excuse because you DO know better. If someone is telling you or giving you a sign of being comfortable, STOP your behavior. Being female, LGBTQ, male, or anything does not give you the right to do anything and don’t use it as a reason why you’re acting in a socially unacceptable way. It’s making yourself and anyone with those conditions, upbringings, and groups look bad and it’s not fair to them!

In conclusion, remember to always have fun at a convention. That’s the sole purpose of a con, fun. As attendees you al can make things easier by reporting any wrong doings, calling someone out when you see something not right, or just following basic social norms. Just use common sense people.

#momokun #anime convention #convention etiquette #anime expo #cosplay community #cosplayers #this needs to stop #this needs to be said #this is serious #she's apart of the problem

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ohnohetaliasues · 5 years

Text

1+2p Hetalia High {Ch.7}

(Kat)

HEY OKAY I’M BACK BUT TO START US OFF ON MY RETURN, I WILL REVIEW THIS STORY I FORGOT EXISTED OVER THE TIME I WAS GONE.

I STILL HAVE OVER A HUNDRED CHAPTERS LEFT OF THIS HELP.

Kat's POV

I drove home after my time in the park with Alfie. When I got home I thought I could unwind. Like the recent days I was in for a surprise. There was a package on my doorstep. That's weird. I wasn't expecting any packages.

It’s a bomb 100%

Maybe it was from my Aunt I thought. I took the package inside. I locked my door and greeted my dog. I put the package on the table and got a knife. I opened up the package. Inside was a gorgeous dress along with earrings and some heels. I was confused until I found the note under everything. "Dear Kat, I heard your dance is coming up. So I decided to get you some things. Hope you enjoy I picked them out myself! Love, A/N (Aunt Name).

I smiled and looked at the outfit more closely. (Outfit in my profile)

Your profile is still without a link, Author-chan.

I jumped up and down in joy. My Aunt always got me dresses and things for dances. And they are always spectacular.

May I emphasize:

I put all of the contents of the box in my room. I did my homework ate dinner and got dressed for bed. All of the sudden I got the feeling I was being watched. 'This happens in every horror movie ever! I'm getting a gun. KAT WON'T BE GETTING KIDNAPPED/MURDERED TONIGHT!' I thought as I went to get the gun from the kitchen.

Why in the world do I own a gun?

I’m afraid of guns in real life.

My Aunt made me get a gun being her overprotective self.

Dude, I’m not old enough to own a gun. I’m 16.

I took out the pistol and made sure the safety was on. Don't want to accidentally shoot myself in my sleep now. I went back upstairs to my room and tucked myself in. I held the gun in my hand under my pillow. I fell asleep knowing I was safe.

3rd Person's POV

Red eyes were staring at a certain female sleeping peacefully.

Oh, now you know how to write in the third person.

"She's playing hard to get huh? I like them feisty." Allen said staring at the girl. His nose was pinched by a certain gentleman. "We do not talk about poppet that way! She is as sweet as a cupcake!"

Go away.

Oliver said puffing out his cheeks. "Will you two shut the hell up! You're gonna wake her up!" James hissed at the two. Francois was also there smoking up a storm which didn't help.

You know I have a sense of smell, right?

I can smell smoke, friend.

"Why are we even here? The plan is tomorrow right?" Francois said between puffs. Oliver nodded "Tomorrow she'll be all ours." Oliver said giggling.

NO.

Kat's POV

I was on my way to school the next day when I felt the sensation someone was staring at me again. I took out the pepper spray from my backpack just in case. I kept looking around until I reached the school.

Why am I suddenly a badass?

I put my pepper spray in my bag and ran up the steps. I still felt eyes on me. It made me scared. I walked to my first class and nearly ran in the door. "Dude what's wrong? You're jumpier than I am when Artie cooks!" Alfred said laughing.

When have you ever called him “Artie” ever?

"MY COOKING IS NOT THAT BAD YOU GIT!" Arthur retaliated.

It made Prussia fall unconscious. It’s pretty awful.

I laughed slightly "It's okay Alfie. I'm just a little spooked that's all." I said. We all sat in our seats. We were in the middle of the lesson when a bell rang. It wasn't the dismissal bell. "This is not a drill. A dangerous person/persons have entered the campus. Please follow the instructions said by your teacher."

Well, shit.

the principal said over the speaker. I was shaken so bad I thought I was gonna explode. The teacher and some of the students blocked the door with spare tables. People who weren't already hysterical closed the blinds and locked the doors. "Shit shit shit!" I said going hysterical.

First rule of crisis situation is not to panic in said crisis situation.

I was hoping it wasn't who I thought it would be.

Wait who is that again? Allen? Oliver? It’s been so long since I reviewed this I don’t remember for the life of me.

"{Kat} calm down! It's gonna be okay! The hero's here to protect you!" Alfred said trying to calm me down. "Calm down love. I'm sure they won't come in here." Arthur said also trying to calm me down. Matthew held me "It's okay {Kat}. It's gonna be fine." Matthew said. "I won't let anyone touch my sunflower da?" Ivan said getting a dark aura and somehow holding a pipe.

Yao placed a panda plushie on my head hoping it would help.

Why in fresh hell would that calm me down?

I calmed down a little.

Because of course I did.

Surely the 2p!s wouldn't come to my school right? The intercom came on again crushing my hope. "{Kat}! We've come to get you! Just stay in your classroom and we'll be right there!" I heard a familiar cheery voice say.

WHY AM I BEING KIDNAPPED???????

My face paled. I made Matthew let go of me. I saw the allies faces as they recognized the voice. "Dude! They're here!? AND AFTER {KAT}!?" Alfred yelled.

So it’s just normal to have alternate evil versions of yourself in this fanfiction?

Okay sure, that’s great.

Arthur was also a ghostly white. I was having a freak out. Who knows what they'll do to me!? "We have to protect her dudes!" Alfred said standing protectively in front of me. The allies nodded and went in front of me. The door was blown open like it was cardboard.

Here’s a rule of thumb for writing.

When a character speaks, you make a new paragraph. Even Blood Raining Night did that much if I remember correctly.

Instead of Oliver however, it was a magenta eyed Italian. GREAT NOW I'M DOUBLE DEAD.

"Stupid allies! Stealing our plan for the ragazza.

Literally what plan?

Just call me girl, there is no reason to call me the Italian word for girl unless you forgot the English word for girl.

No matter. We got here first!" Luciano said.

No you didn’t, I’m with the 1ps.

Kuro and Lutz walked in after him. I trembled from behind the 1p!s. "If you want her you have to go through us!" Alfred said armed with a chair.

The deadliest weapon, obviously.

Luciano growled knowing he couldn't take on all of them with just his trio. I had a fragment of hope but it was crushed again. "Lucy! I told you we had dibs on the poppet!" Oliver said walking in.

The rest of the 2p! face family walked in after him. "We could make a compromise. Help us take them out and we decide what to do with her afterwards." Francois said. "That sounds like a great idea." Luciano said eyes gleaming. The allies got ready to fight. I took out the pepper spray from my back pack. If I'm getting kidnapped it won't be without a fight! The 2p!s charged and the allies. Unfortunately they were outnumbered by two. Alfred took on Allen. Ivan took on Francois. Yao took on James.

Wait who the fuck is James? Canada?

Matthew took on Lutz. Arthur took on Luciano. Leaving me with Kuro and Oliver.

Why do we need to spend so much time talking about who fights who?

I tried to pepper spray Kuro but he hit my hand with the back of his sword.

Ow.

The pepper spray fell to the floor. I gulped and tried to sweep him. He quickly countered by shoving me to the wall. Oliver held up a cupcake. I knew this one had to be drugged.

It’s only harmful if I eat it and I’m not restrained, so he literally has no way of making me eat that.

I fought with all my might and managed to knock down the cupcake. I smirked only to realize Kuro was holding a pill. He shoved it into my mouth where it started to dissolve. I tried to spit it out but it was no use. I started to get sleepy.

Was my mouth open??? what????

Kuro let go of me as my eyes started to droop. I fell on my knees not being able to hold myself up. "{Kat}!" Alfred yelled still fighting Allen. My vision started to get hazy. I couldn't think straight as someone put me over their shoulder. The last thing I remember is Alfred running after me. Then everything went black.

Well that escalated quickly.

I’ll see you guys next time I review this... whatever is happening.

~Kat

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natman1924 · 6 years

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AU Masterpost

here’s a shit ton of hetalia AUs, they’re mostly Spamano with fem Romano cause I just frickin love her

So first there’s Some Hero/Villain AUs...I have four variations

1) The most expansive is definitely my hero au centered around a huge organization that’s definitely a combo of the x men and the justice league. it’s introduced through the training process for some up and coming teens with powers that show potential, including Alfred, Mattie, Feli, Ludwig, Natalya (Belarus), and Emil (Iceland). they’re trained and recruited mainly by Antonio who’s kind of a big deal plus Gilbert and Francis, but is mostly supported by his partner (NOT sidekick) Lovina. There’s a lot of angst and drama, Lovi has a sad backstory with some scandal and romance with a bunch of pairings thrown in. I really, really want to take time to really develop it and write/blog about it!

2) Basically the next three are just kind of mixes and matches of each other. first, Antonio has taken up vigilante justice for shits and gigs and is patrolling one night when he stumbles across two guys creeping on Lovina after her shift at a nightclub. But surprise surprise, Lovina is a feisty little fucker and takes them down herself, and then accidentally pepper sprays Antonio when he still comes over to make sure she’s ok. and thus a friendship blossoms. basically things happen and when Antonio is getting famous, Lovina is seen with him and associated with him, which leads to her being constantly harassed over a man whose name she doesn’t even know. Drama.

3) Next, Antonio is once again our hero, but sadly Lovina has taken up a life of crime. forced to take out loans from a mob boss (either Turkey or Russia; leaning toward Turkey) to pay her for her brother’s medical bills, Lovina is forced to repay her debts by stealing for her boss, becoming an infamous jewel thief. think Batman and Catwoman dynamic, but Antonio is just a much happier person.

4) Last, same back story with Lovina, but instead, Antonio is the lead detective trying to catch her. Basically, Lovi and Feli are downsizing and moving into a new apartment, Antonio offers to help being the gentleman he is, asks Lovi out, and Feli basically accepts for her (not knowing just who Antonio is). Lovina goes on some dates to “throw off her scent” but really is catching feelings and doesn’t want to admit. basically Lovi trying to find a way out of her situation without hurting the first person she’s ever cared about besides her brother

Ok wow moving onto some historical fiction stuff

1) So one of my favorites is my speakeasy AU. Here, Alfred and his half brother Matthew own and run a speakeasy in New York City during the 1920s. They’re helped by italian siblings Feliciano and Lovina, who Al and Matt met on the streets of Italy during a vacation. Love propositioned herself to them because she and Feli lost everything and feeling bad for them (and in need of some Italians to get on the good side of their suppliers back home), Matt and Al take the two back to the states with them. Gilbert and Ludwig are two cops that don’t get stupid American laws, so they help the speakeasy out by helping keep everything covered up. Lots of Prucan, Arthur featured as a bartender, and Lovi’s got a secret she left behind in Italy. it’s great.

2) Another pretty expansive AU is this neat 60s/supernatural AU I have. So Alfred is looking for his brother Matthew and accidentally stumbles upon this underground, supernatural world where all sorts mystical creatures and people live. Gilbert (Vampire) and Francis (Demon) take the poor guy in and try to help him figure things out/hide him because NO NON MAGICAL HUMANS ALLOWED. Eli’s a siren along with Lovina, who is with Antonio, who is a recently turned werewolf (it’s been less than 2 years). other guests in crude wizard (or maybe fairy, I haven’t decided yet) Arthur, genie Sadiq (Turkey), Witch Liz (Hungary) and a couple more I haven’t quite nailed down yet. also great.

3) I also have a Mafia AU set in the late 60s. pretty basic, Lovina is the prodigy granddaughter of a mob boss, Antonio works for their rival, essentially another Romeo and Juliet. Lots of bantering and real character development. parallels to West side story. good stuff.

And then some other random ones

1) frick yeah zombie AU. Antonio, Gilbert, Francis, and Ludwig against the world. Throw in the italians, Alfred and Mattie on a farm, and a brit with kids and you get one wild ride.

2) This isn’t an AU, but I’ve mulled over Gilbert’s transition from cold war to post Berlin Wall. I have an arch imagined for him that brings Prucan in in a really nice and natural way. just thought I’d throw that out there.

Lastly, this isn’t an AU so much as a love project for fem Lovi. I’ve pretty much got a giant character arch for her as a woman and a nation. yes there are other female nations, but I feel developing the story of a nation like south Italy that has been used and passed around is only more interesting, heartbreaking, and inspiring from the perspective of a woman. blast me for that if you want, but I just want more strong woman written about and represented. sorry not sorry.

there’s more underdeveloped ones that I want to get into later. like so many more. thnx for listening.

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purplenickel · 7 years

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So this turned more into my queer dating history but its fun lol

So I have always been attracted to boys even before I knew that trans was a thing much less that I could transition. I also always admired girls and found ways to rationalize it until like middle school when I became aware of bisexuality where I had so many crushes usually on the mean kids at least the ones that didn’t have like weird shaped heads or watch alarms that went off at weird times during class like why do you need an alarm for 1:27? Youre supposed to be learning basic Spanish do that instead lol An I dated one guy in middle school when I knew I was bisexual and at least a tom boy. And the things I wanted to do to that boy. Like I was kinky as a small child lol like damn you could do a lot more than hold my hand and let me give you innocent little cheek kisses.

We stayed together until freshmen year of high school where I was bored with how slow things were going so I broke up with him. It probably didn’t help that I was starting to question my gender then either. I told my mom I thought I wanted to be a boy and she shot that down real quick “You’re a girl and cant be a boy” so I ended up trying to cut off all my hair until it was so fucked she had to give me a buzzcut and I ended up looking like a hard core butch lesbian for a semester)

Second boyfriend was this skinny dude like only an inch taller than me and I was 5’3 at the time. I wrote down love song lyrics and gave them to him to ask him out. Im romantic like that lol. We dated for a while and I guess we just grew apart. He wouldn’t do much more than kiss me occasionally and I was like damn yall how do I keep getting these innocent Victorian straight boys. But he was cute and I still see him around town much to my embarrassment. Idk why im embarrassed so much maybe I feel bad that he thought he was dating a girl and im not?

Next boyfriend was a bi emo guy named Justice. I dated him mainly because he was the only bi guy I knew at my school in rural redneck Virginia lol he ended up being really kinky and kinda weirdly intense. Like the fun part was he didn’t mind that I was all for sitting in the back of the anime club/computer classroom and tryina get down. The weird part was that he had the idea to write Real Person fanfiction staring ourselves as like vampires because he had a major biting kink and was really emo and thought he was goth but rural VA is a hard place to be goth when all your clothes come from walmart. But he was really intense like he had our entire lives planned out in the fanfic and actually went a bought me a ring , gold with a pearl setting, that I immediately lost because why would you give me a ring??? Nah so I got real disinterested in Justice and planned to break up with him. I actually ended up cheating on him sort of. My class went on a field trip to Jamestown famous school tour site all Virginian probably had to go to. And one of my classmates/kind of friends was this really hot guy with this shaggy blonde hair and this wiry lanky body and was this laid back hot stoner type and I really liked him so I sat next to him on the bus ride and seduced him through out the whole trip until we stopped in this little shopping mall on the way back to school. I was walking around one of the department stores and saw him trying one underwear of all things lol he invited me to help him pick out a new pair of tight good looking underwear and I agreed and slipped into the changing room while he was putting them on and ended up giving him a hand job he was grateful lol. Then we went back to the bus and pretended like nothing happened but there was already a rumor going around the buses that somebody had sex in the store. A few days later Justice actually broke up with me because he felt that I was “acting different” and I probably was simply because I wasn’t attracted to him any more.

Between dating Justice and the next guy I did have my first kiss with a girl! She was so pretty with silky black hair in a bob and dark blue eyes and the palest skin. She dressed in rave clothes all the time and sometimes wore fairy wings and cloaks to school. She was delightfully strange but moved to florida I think but we were saying goodbye by the schools front doors and when it was my turn I gave her a tight hug and she turned her face and gave me a kiss and I was just wow kissing girls is so nice. Speaking of girls, I also had a huge crush on president of the anime club. She was so tall and really thin with a few curves, but she was really confident and funny and just made you feel at ease and I could’ve seen myself dating her easily but she was dating someone else but im pretty sure she might have been bi but she graduated and moved to Washington state to be a masseuse.

Next boyfriend was extremely religious and also wanted to get married. I was against getting married so young, really against converting to southern baptism and definitely against having kids. Pregnancy has always freaked me out mostly because I don’t like pain and don’t want to be in pain and in general everything about reproduction freaks me out idk why. But I really wanted him. He had these nice big and rough hands and was so warm all the time. He was also really sweet. But I broke up with him because I couldn’t do the religious thing It was Too Much™.

After dating him though I had this huge crush on this girl a year younger than me in me creative writing class. She was gothic in a very flowery dark fairy type way and I loved it she was also had a huge gay crush on my female friend who I can confirm is very beautiful with long dyed red hair and olive skin and this soft husky voice that would be perfect for a late night radio talk show where you call in about relationship problems. But anyways the girl I had a crush on was named Sage and she was beautiful with her long blonde hair and her light green eyes and small everything she was very thin like scarily thin she actually had an eating disorder that we tried to help her with and she could reach her hand behind her ribs and grip the bottom of her ribs it was creepy to look at. She wrote beautiful and dark poems and never seemed to mind that my crush took the form of hugging her and resting against her as often as I could. She never seemed interested in me though I think she was actually fatphobic or maybe she was just femme for femme I dunno but I graduated and nev er saw her again so whatever.

After I graduated high school I decided to go to a traditionally womens college. My roommate was ace and like the first openly ace person I had ever met and she was really cool and introduced me to the idea of being ace but at the time I was decidedly bi and later pan once some more friends introduced me to tumblr and I started openly learning about gender and sexuality. All my friends were really hot that I met at college and I probably would have been down to date any of them except for the girl that I met through the anime club who also really liked the anime Hetalia. We could get together and watch episodes and read a variety of fanfictions ranging from family type things to kinky sex shit we were very close and im sure that a lot of people thought we were dating or at least fooling around together. We actually met each other at a Virginia anime convention where the anime club people went in a group and I went separately with some friends from high school (the best part of the experience was the wafflehouse in the hotel parking lot) but me and my friend got together at the con and went back to my groups hotel room to gush over the merch we had found and watch some anime together. I was in a closet cosplay that consisted of booty shorts and tied button up shirt so I had a lot of skin showing and we were sitting on the bed by ourselves until my friends came back and they all thought we had sex like no she was very attractive and had really nice curves but girl needed to shower more often because unfortunately she had a smell to her that I just didn’t like. I think she was interested in dating me but she ended up having financial problems of some sort and couldn’t come back to school the next year.

After she left school I came out as trans and got closer to the core group of the college anime club. They were all really hot except for the vegetarian one but she had a boyfriend and didn’t seem to like me much anyways so whatever. I also dated this one girl in my graduation class for like three days over the summer but she broke up with me because she was again a southern Baptist and couldn’t honestly date a trans person because it somehow went against god or some shit. That person has since come out as trans masculine. But anyways next person I dated was this smoking hot older girl who only wore skirts. She was southern Baptist and straight but I had to try even if I never got to be anything other than her creepy friend who everybody knew had a crush on her. She surprisingly was interested in dating me so we started going out. We went on dates around town to explore and see new stores and went to the park and shit was great we had kisses and cuddles and fun cute dates and sexy times but we also clashed a lot over mostly miscommunication. It didn’t help that I was on a medicine that once I started taking it regularly like I was supposed to my sex drive dropped to nonexistent. We fought over this a few times but still planned to try to get an apartment off campus the next year. I thought she was being too clingy by texting me pretty often that summer. I was in a bad mood all of that summer though. We broke up and got back together over the phone probably at least three times before deciding to break up for good. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together because when we weren’t fighting we had a lot of fun and I told her things I hadn’t told anybody before, I felt safe.

The next person I dated didn’t go so well. This was a friend from the colleges LARP club that also had people from the community or it was a community club that extended to the college kids and just ended up being held on campus but that’s how we met. She had a very butch androgynous look but I just really liked her personality no matter how hot she looked in her leather jacket. So we started off as LARP friends and then I worked up the nerve to ask for her number and just texted her about random things and we ended up talking about how much we both like coffee so that turned into a coffee date at the local dunkin and it was a lot of fun and we had a few more dates like that and things were looking good. A few friends that knew both of us warned me that she didn’t normally go for men but I had talked to her myself and was like that a lie and you don’t know what youre talking about ok so we hung out for a few months going slow and not really relationship dating. Around the time I was thinking of asking her to be a couple my mental health deteriorated and I ended up being hospitalized. I tried calling her once to keep up the habit of talking at night through text since I couldn’t text at the time but I think me being in the “cr*zy ward” freaked her out because 1) the phone call did not go well and was never tried again and 2) once I got out of the hospital I texted her to see if she was interested in picking up where we left off and she shut me down saying she just wanted to be friends. Of course not even a month later I found out that she and the girl I had dated for over a year were now dating. This bothered me for a long time and I was constantly wondering if I was too cr*zy to date somebody or it was because I was trans a whole bunch of self hatred type thoughts. I eventually got over it (mostly)

Then I didn’t date anybody until last year. I started texting my friend Cat from high school (back then we had a very cute James Potter Severus Snape thing going on where the characters were dating but we weren’t) and I learned that they were agender and ace and I thought it over and determined that I was ridiculously attracted to them and didn’t mind being in a nonsexual relationship because at the time I was still pretty sex repulsed myself besides for reading kinky fanfiction and getting myself off every once in a while. So We went on a friends date in the spring to see Zootopia and it was so much fun and they were so cute in their leggings and hoodie with their windblown cropped hair dyed dark red. I asked them if they wanted to date and they said yes so we went on our first official date (a hike up an abandoned walking trail where we both got covered in ticks and I had to stop and stretch out a bad leg cramp, then we got lunch at a cute vegetarian café in town and went to the town park to hang out. We sat in the grass and listened to Florence and the Machine songs and smiled at each other looking cute. We then got milkshakes and learned that we still had ticks on us from the hick and they took me home and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye with the promise of more dates in the future). Over the summer we hung out a lot because they and their mom were moving from the house they had lived in for years to a house a county over and I volunteered to help with the moving of the last few belongings. Maybe 5 trips all together, but it was a good time every day we got to see each other. We would comfortable hang out in their old house packing things up and taking our time and then we would take the forty five minute drive to the new house listening to whatever queer music we could find and save to playlists. Then we would cuddle on their couch after taking the days moving things inside and find something nice to eat on the way back to my house. I visited their college a few times (another traditionally women’s college) and met their friends who were also agender and queer and very cute people indeed. I enjoyed all the time I spent with Cat. Cat also helped me realize I was leaning more towards being a demiguy than strictly binary trans and that it was okay if I was ace, that sexuality can be fluid. Our relationship was very intimate and domestic and I loved it, especially the tight hugs and long slow kisses I would get each time we met and each time we had to say goodbye. I fell in love with Cat and because we didn’t see each other all the time and there was no pressure to maintain a sexual relationship I felt I could maintain those feelings I had for cat for a long time. We dated up until August of 2017 when they texted me and let me know they felt they were not only agender and asexual but also felt aromantic and would prefer to be platonic as they couldn’t keep up with the demands of a relationship. This devastated me. I took a week off from school to lie at home and let myself deal with the depression this brought. Im over Cat now. I enjoyed what we had but Im happy being friends though our ideas of friendship are different but that’s another textpost entirely.

I recently went to Charlottesville Pride 2017 with my friends that are the couple where I dated both and now they are happily dating each other and one of their other trans friends and it was so much fun. I think the act of getting a bag of free condoms reawakened my sex drive somehow?? Because now I would totally be down to get sex from anybody I was attracted to?? And im attracted to a lot more people than I usually am?? Like it was my friend Ness’s birthday a few weeks ago and she invited the same trans friend that went to pride with us to come and she brought her cousin with her and damn. Her cousin was the cutest and got so drunk like baby no you gotta stop while its still fun. So he’s agender and gave me his Snapchat and Im just…crushing so hard…hes too cute. But also I’ve been talking to people on OKCupid and everyones just so attractive (not the cismen tho neither the hets or gays wanna hit it so fuck em I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life) and all these tumblr people are cute and I wanna date everybody but everybody live like at least three hours away and it makes me sad because nobody seems to wanna try a long distance type thing which I would be up for.

So tl;dr: if youre reading this and you think im cute, message me and ill tell you what all we could do together ;)

Im a biromantic greyace chubby transmasculine enby and i like all body types and most personality types lol

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minor-anti · 7 years

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i wasn’t going to do this. i really wasn’t. but apparently i need to tell the entirety of this hellsite about my trauma in order for my opinions to be valid, so here we are. the reason why i'm a big filthy anti and why i'm against harmful age gaps in relationships.

under a read more, bc fuck is this gonna be long. tw for csa (specifically cocsa), emotional and verbal abuse, unhealthy & abusive relationships, manipulation, and cg/l

this whole ordeal started around two years ago, december of 2015. i had just turned 12, entered middle school earlier that year, and was completely miserable; one of my supposed "friends" had outed me as lgbt to my entire school, which was quite the problem seeing as i live in small town, bible belt georgia. this was also the year mental illness really started hitting me and i was questioning my identity (both gender and sexuality), so my life was just kind of a mess.

2015 was also the year i got into anime - more specifically hetalia, at the advice of one of my irl friends who loved the series. i even had a fan account on instagram, despite being 12, and that was how i came to know the aph rarepair kik gc.

the aph community on ig was kinda small at the time; the rarepair community was even smaller. i'm talking about ships that had less than 100 posts in their tags... which was really saying something since people often spammed tags. through one of these tags i met, and eventually became friends with, a user (lets call them ku) who invited me to join their aph group chat, filled with people who also shipped rarepairs. ecstatic at the prospect of new friends, i accepted.

this gc had about 20 or so members, ranging from 12 years old (me and two other members, i believe) to 18 years old. i was friends with all of them, but one in particular i hit it off with right away - a 15yo girl we'll refer to as ln, since her name is actually a trigger for me now.

we went from just being friends and talking in the gc to dming every single day. i felt as if i'd known her forever, and i'd had internet friends before (usually on forums made for children though) so i didn't feel the need to be suspicious. ln praised me for being intelligent and how i was much more mature than most people my age - an obvious red flag now.

eventually, in early february, she asked if i'd be okay being in a relationship with her, and my naive 12yo self said yes.

another activity ln enjoyed was roleplaying - and since we tended to like the same ships, i was her rp partner. eventually, even though i wasn't completely comfortable with it, they became sexual.

things really started to go sour in may. that was when i found out that ln had actually already been in a relationship when i started dating her, and that her (other) gf had broken up with her. she blamed me for it, and left me.

it's also important to mention that at this point she was slowly isolating me from my other friends in the gc. she was always picking a fight with the other members, especially the admins, which usually caused her to get kicked for a day or so. i'd always defend her, though, no matter what.

i've always had dependency issues; i rely on people for positive attention, and if i don't get it i can't function normally. i don't know why, it's just how i am. so when she left me, i broke. i cried and sobbed and begged for her to not leave me, because i needed her, i needed someone to help me function like a normal human being. i told her i was sorry i'd ruined her relationship, how selfish i was and how i'd never be able to fix it. she even ghosted me for a few days, and eventually said that sure, she forgave me.

until late august 2016 we were on and off. she'd leave, then come back, leave, then come back. it was supposedly because she was still upset over her breakup, and even though it wasn't my fault, i felt bad and said that i understood.

during the times that we were together, though, it was hell. the summer of 2016 was by far the worst one i have ever experienced. she constantly berated me, made fun of my dependence on her, and even questioned me if the things i'd done were real or if i just imagined doing them - which really hits home now because i'm kind of struggling with that exact issue rn.

eventually ln was kicked out of the group chat for her behavior and convinced one of the admins i'd been involved (even though i'd been at summer camp at the time of the final incident), causing me to also be kicked out and losing me a dear group of friends.

ln also continued to be extremely sexual with me, despite my obvious discomfort. i'll just say it up front: she was into cg/l. i still have a very vivid experience of her asking me to call her "mommy". at one point she even talked me into sending nudes, and wrote about how she wanted to have sex with me. looking back i know that these are all awful but i guess at the time i just didnt process it.

and yes, i was still 12.

finally, in late august, i found out that once again, she had been cheating. she was dating a 13yo. when i heard the news, i shattered. the one person i still had, the one i thought i could completely trust, had been lying to me. when i confronted her, she absolutel flipped told me how i was a nutcase, how nobody would ever love me because i was such a burden, said i was a freak that belonged in a hospital.

she even went so far as to harass and stalk me on other social media, causing me to effectively abandon my remaining ig accounts. (i briefly ran an aesthetics account under a different name before getting into yoi)

the last time we talked was january 2017, when she tried to talk to me on kik one last time and i blocked her. for good.

so that's why i'm an anti. because i was taken advantage of someone who was also a minor, but in a position of power over me. we won't even get into the fact that she was an avid pedo (i'm talking about 13yos and 30yos kinda shit) & incest shipper, and when i initially told her i was uncomfortable with those and they grossed me out - because i was, i literally started out as an anti - she told me it was okay because it was just fiction.

i want to keep people safe. that's why i'm here, that's why i opened this goddamn blog. i want minors to have a voice, to prevent what happened to me from happening to others. and maybe, yes, i can be a dick about it and maybe, yes, what happened was also mostly my fault - i still think it's at least somewhat justified.

#shut up mod #cocsa tw #abuse tw

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the-cryptographer · 7 years

Photo

My tiny yugioh shrine - before and after pics. The Jounouchi figure still up top, holding a chain and ready to shank you with a scapegoat~ But I thought I’d zoom in so we could see my BEAUTIFUL NEW ISHTAR SIBS CLEARFILE INSTEAD~

I thought my shrine was getting a little too shippy. And especially a little too shippy in the absence of Mai. WHERE IS ALL THE KUJAKU MAI MERCHANDISE?! i need it pls, thx. But, anyhow~ I bought the Ishtar clearfile off of auction. And I thought it might be an old one, but on the back is actually a logo for the 20th anniversary of ygo, last year in 2016. And they weren’t even really in the movie, so now I’m wondering maybe there is also the chance of some recent Mai merchandise out there, hmm, so she will properly be represented in my collection >3>

But yeah, this is just by the exit to my room so i can stop by before i leave for the day and, offer coins or pieces of fruit or whatever and pray at my card game based alter, and maybe then Jounouchi’s good luck will rub off on me a little~

...

And there’s also a gore version of the shrine, but I usually keep that picture in the back so visitors don’t think i’m a creep. i guess i’ll put this picture in the front if i ever decide to host ritualistic demon summonings in my room or smthn~

(Both prints are from toxicosis by the way.)

Doujinshi are in another location. And I was only going to talk about my stupid ygo bookshelf shrine thing today, but then my doujin shipment came in and I decided FUCK IT i will brag about my crippling lack of impulse control cool swag all at once if i want to... Under the cut-

@battymarionette

If you remember this one~

tdah~ Basically it seems like a Kaiba Corp has put out a game, some kind of ridiculous fantasy RPG where Atem is some kind of Ron the Death Eater villain and Jou may or may not be the princess or smthn. And Mokuba invites Jounouchi over to play it or playtest it or something of that nature. Which seems like as good a premise as any for this kind of thing. And it’s got all the cute platonic Joukuba vibes which is a plus~

But yeah, Jounouchi goes over to Mokuba’s place, has some kind of fight with Seto, and some kind of conversation with Atem, and Mokuba’s kind of confused or upset about something, and then Jou gets all cute and announces that he and Kaiba are dating~ which i’m pretty sure Seto didn’t want Mokuba knowing about or whatever~

But, see, now I’m making this doujin sound sweet when, to be really blunt, i didn’t like it. At some point Seto slaps Jounouchi across the face for something.

I guess I shouldn’t pass judgement when I can’t even read the moon runes that explain why this has happened, but- no. (I’m trying to articulate. It’s not that I think Jou and Seto are incapable of being violent with one another (jfc how hypocritical would it be of me) but there’s something about the whys and the hows~? in my mind, Seto doesn’t gets hands on with that kind of thing unless it’s landing a measured martial arts blow in self defense, or lashing out from a place of extreme vulnerability - the kind that involves him being five seconds away from curling up in a ball of self-protection. So... Seto being collected and composed and instigating violence on Jounouchi’s triggers all my ‘no’ responses. And I also doubt Jounouchi would take that kind of thing without complaint, unless he was actually raving or spiraling and it was, like, a calm-the-fuck-down slap. I think he would definitely retaliate with shouting and intimidation, if not a physical blow. With Jounouchi it’s a little harder for me to define what would prompt physical violence, partly because i think his idea of what violence is is narrower than mine, and doesn’t include things like grabbing somebody’s jacket collar and shaking them around. But, hmm, I think by the time he’s through canon he doesn’t exactly break out the fistcuffs lightly.)

The point was that this doujin made it to the top of my shit list very fast. And I was concerned because, see, I had been avoiding buying KaiJou (in that order) doujins because most of them kind of do this thing to me and completely miss the glass cannon type of volatile fragility I see as being kind of central to Kaiba’s character. But then I caved and ordered a whole bunch. But, actually, I was pleasantly surprised by the other couple of ones I bought, so maybe the curse has finally lifted~ I liked this one in particular-

But, tbh, it also knew the way into my heart~

The way into my heart is Wheeler siblings :x

@rainstormcolors

First of all, I got POLARIS and it was good!

I don’t know what to share about it other than that because it was mostly porn. But I felt like it was kind of sweet and sentimental and Kaiba and Atem going on silly dates at the beginning with gorgeous background details. Also they sit on the throne together at the end and look very in love teehee~

But, yes, thank you for reccing~ I enjoyed a lot~!

BUT- !!! More importantly this finally came in the mail!

To answer your question, it’s a normal rivalshipping anthology. 112 pages, comics and fic~ Exciting things happen like Yuugi and Kaiba playing twister~

And in another story they’re out travelling and having punishment games of some sort and Yuugi gets a beard painted on his face~

AND HIS MOM OMG!! I love when odd characters cameo in my doujins. I think you can tell~

But, no, I lied- I addition to the anthology I got all this other stuff too~

I don’t know. There’s a set of tiny playing cards you have to disentangle. Some have exciting images.

Notably Jounouchi and Atem are the jokers, heh~

I still haven’t checked out the CD. This is a very rushed post where I don’t attempt to read things carefully or any of that~ But it comes with a manual with a bunch of character avatars - lots of expressions for Yuugi and Kaiba, as well as one avatar each for Jou, Anzu, baby Seto, Kisara, and BEWD. So I think it may be a visual novel of sorts. Undetermined~

So now you’ll know what you’re getting if you decide to order, in theory at least. I’m not sure because I bought this off the author’s BOOTH, so idk if the extra merchandise is limited in any manner or if toranoana only sends part of it(?)

ugh, let’s see.

I also got another anthology- a Yuugi-centric one.

It’s mostly rivalshipping, which I’d expect. rivalshipping is really popular in the jp fandom. but, tbh, i enjoyed the more odd ships more-

Like Juudai/Manjoume/Yuugi... Kaiba walks in on the Kohais basically crushing yuugi with love after this it’s so cute~

And Otogi/Yuugi. Ah~ I love the DDM chapters in the manga and how softly Otogi warms up to Yuugi~

A Duel Monsters themed art book I spent too much on~ I’m ashamed to say I don’t recognise a whole lot of the cards

but you’ll recognise Yubel, perhaps~

or the lady that Y!Bakura crossdresses as ;)

and there were quite a few dark magician girls and blue eyeses.

from another illustration book~

and i found a couple of apprenticeshipping doujins on BOOTH, but none of them wow-ed me really~

although I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how Mana inherited the Ring in manga canon. I feel like there are things to consider here. This picture struck me as a result.

Alright~ And now for my favourites~

OMG! A WHOLE DOUJIN ABOUT MALIK AND HIS SIBLINGS!!! I think this one was a predictable fave. I loved it so, sooo much. I was absolutely filled with quality Malik and Rishid moments.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE!!

Malik and Rishid go biking and run into Mai which is very !!!

There are vacation photographs~

It looks like Malik tries to feed Ra a revival slime and gets eaten himself. I don’t know. But it was good. I’m so happy~ Ishtar family doujins. My life is complete. not really. i can’t die until i finish my fics.

Okay, but my other fave I didn’t see coming at all.

I don’t ship this! I shouted into the void. But nobody really believed her, not even herself. It’s too late for me. I’m just multiship trash. I will ship anything you put in front of me...

Okay, but the real reason I decided to get this was because of this preview panel. Of course I knew it was puzzlleship. But actually I love Mana and vaseshipping for reals. And this was so cute and the art was so pretty I thought- We might as well check the rest of it out~ (the idea of top!Yuugi didn’t hurt either...)

And then jackels happened~ And this kind of ethereal magic stuff~

There was some confusion I think with the cultural imagery in the doujin. Some of it looked vaguely Indic to my untrained eye but- I don’t know what to say, the art was so gorgeous and detailed.

And the smut was all facials and frot so obviously the doujin artist has my gd number, smh.

And Jou appeared near the end, looking amazing, and Jou is automatically about +50 points for any doujin.

I don’t know what to say. Very nice. Would recommend.

Also- just fyi- I do buy doujins for things that aren’t ygo. pls forgive my focus on my ygo obsession tho.

I’m really glad I stumbled across this in the hetalia tag~

And there’s a picture of Tifa being so bad at games at the golden saucer that Nanaki, who doesn’t even have opposable thumbs, can defeat her in PvP. Beautiful~

#doujinshi #Malik Ishtar #Mana #JouKai #prideship #rivalship #kuribohship #offership #nurseship #puzzleship #ygo gx #save me from this card game hell #cw: gore

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ohnohetaliasues · 6 years

Text

1+2p Hetalia High {Ch.1}

(Kat)

tHIS HAS 119 CHAPTERS.

199.

AM I GOING TO REVIEW EVERY ONE OF THEM? YES SIREE BOB.

OH LORD.

Buckle up my children, we’re in for a wild ride and a brand new adventure.

Note: The full title of this story is “1p and 2p HetaliaxReader High school just got weirder” but since I don’t want to put that as my title, I’m just putting it as whatever I decided to put because at the moment of typing this I’m still not sure.

I’m not sure how to feel about this. But here we go.

Also, this is a reader insert, so I’ll be putting ‘Kat’ when ‘y/n’ appears.

{Kat}'s POV

I woke up to my alarm blaring a familiar song. It was the F/A (Favorite Anime) opening.

Coincidentally, I have the Ao no Exorcist opening set as my alarm right now. So I guess this fits?

It was impossible not to get up hearing that awesome song.

But also I must note that I do have to change my alarm every so often or I will have to resist the urge to smash my phone.

I let it play while I got dressed. I picked out a S/F/C (Second favorite color) t-shirt, a F/C hoodie, black jeans, and some sneakers.

Okay, a purple hoodie, which I don’t own, and a yellow shirt?

Ew.

Kill me.

If anyone sees me in real life in public dressed like that, you have full permission to assassinate me.

I took my headphones and phone and put them in my F/C backpack.

I have an Attack on Titan backpack.

We’re off to a fantastic start.

I grabbed a piece of toast and ran out the door locking it behind me. "I'm gonna be late!" I said copying every slice of life anime ever. I eventually just started walking and ate my toast. I finished my toast and put on my headphones. I listened to some music as I walked to school. My name is {Kat} I'm 16

Uh. I am 16. That much is true.

(Go with it) and go to Gakko (If you get it i'll give you a cookie :3) high school.

Hi, my name is Kat, I’m 16, and I go to School High School.

I've lived alone in my own house since my parents died and my Aunt decided that I could live in alone if I wanted to. She payed for the house and anything I needed.

That’s one nice aunt.

She also gave me a card in case I wanted snacks or to go shopping. My Aunt was loaded so she didn't really care how much I spent.

What, does she just have unlimited money?

How convenient for me.

I walked up the steps of my high school. I wouldn't say that i'm a nerd or a geek

Bet.

but I don't have many friends. It's not that i'm anti-social.

I am.

I’m already losing my mind.

I'm just really picky I guess. I took off my headphones and walked into my classroom. I sat in my seat next to the window. I laughed as I remembered how I picked this seat to be like an anime character.

In my school, there is a thing called seating charts.

Do they just not exist here?

I put my bag on the ground and stared out the window. "Good morning class! Today we'll be introducing some new students." Ms. Drew chirped. I didn't really care so I continued to stare out the window. "Please introduce yourselves!" asked. "I'M ALFRED F. JONES! AND I'M THE HERO!" the person introduced.

I would probably start cringing my face off if some new student just shouted that.

I instantly turned my heads towards the loud voice. He has the same name and called himself the hero. It has to be him. My eyes widened in shock as I saw the blonde haired blue eyed person I watched on my laptop. ({Kat} is not a stalker I promise) It was America. From Hetalia. It wasn't just him. I saw the allies standing in the front of the classroom.

"Holy shit." I whispered. "Thank you for that Alfred. Now how about the rest of you?" said looking at the allies. "I'm Wang Yao from China." Yao said. "I'm Francis Bonnefoy from France." Francis said with a wink that made the girls in the class squeal. "I'm Arthur Kirkland from England." said Arthur also making the girls squeal with his accent. "I'm-" the boy was cut off. "I'm Ivan Braginski. Become one?" Ivan said with a smile and a purple aura.

Which I can see in the normal world apparently. Clara, hand me my sonic, I think something is off here.

The rest of the students got scared. "Okay everyone done? Go-" was cut off by me. "Ms. Drew that boy didn't finish!" I said knowing that Canada had been cut off. I seemed to be the only who noticed. "Oh! I'm sorry I didn't see him! Please introduce yourself." Ms. Drew said staring at Canada. "T-Thank you. I'm Matthew Williams from Canada." Matthew said quietly. No one but me seemed to notice he said anything. "Okay! Please take your seats next to {Kat}! {Kat} raise your hand."

They all sit next to me now?

I’m just going to imagine them all sitting in one desk.

Ms. Drew said. I raised my hand. They can't possibly be the characters from Hetalia. Right? I've read fanfictions about this happening but I never thought it would!

They all sat down. Matthew sat in the seat next to me. Ivan sat on top of him.

This is going to be full of this sort of thing, isn’t it?

Matthew tried to tell him he was there but Ivan couldn't hear him. "Ivan could you get off of Matthew?" I said nicely. "Who is that?" Ivan said confused. "Just pick another seat please." I said. Ivan got off of Matthew and sat in the seat in front of me. "T-Thank you for helping me." Matthew said quietly to me. "No problem!"

Ah yes, here we see the classic ‘reader-chan can see Canada’ trope.

I’m having flashbacks to Kidnapped by Sexy Men.

I said. Francis sat behind me and Arthur sat next to him. Alfred sat next to Matthew. The teacher began the lesson. I took out my things and wrote down the notes on the board. I felt a tap from behind me. I turned around to see Francis "Do you have a pencil I could borrow?" Francis asked. I nodded and handed him one. "It doesn't work." Francis said. "Yes it does." I said confused. "Really? Try writing your number then." Francis said with a wink. The girls heard this and gave a glare towards me.

That was actually pretty smooth.

"No thanks." I said turning back around. I wrote down the rest of the notes as Ms. Drew wrote them. Finally, the bell rang. I packed up my stuff and headed to my next class. Suddenly someone grabbed my wrist. "Could you show me where my class is?" Ivan asked. "Sure! What class is it?" I asked smiling. Ivan seemed a little taken back. "Art." Ivan said with the slightest of blushes. "I have that next too! Just follow me!"

Well, coincidentally, I am taking an art class this year.

I said. Ivan let go of my wrist and followed me. I walked into class and put my bag down. I walked to my easel and stood in front of it. "We have some new students class." Mr. Percy stated. I looked to the front of my classroom. "Holy shit." I said for the second time. Standing in the front of the classroom were the axis.

"Please introduce yourselves." Mr. Percy said. "I am Ludwig Beilschmidt from Germany." Ludwig said. "I am Honda Kiku from Japan." Japan said bowing. "Ciao!~ I'm Feliciano Vargas from Italy!" Feliciano said with his eyes closed. "I AM ZHE AWESOME GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT FROM PRUSSIA!"

I’d honestly like to know why School High School has like forty foreign exchange students.

Gilbert yelled. Around me I heard people ask where Prussia was.

Nowhere. It was dissolved in 1947.

Gilbert frowned slightly. "Prussia is the most awesome country in the world." I stated getting odd stares from my classmates.

It is part of Germany now.

"SHE GET'S IT!"

Gets*

‘Gets’ isn’t a possessive verb.

Gilbert said yelling and smiling again. "Shut up you idiota! I'm Lovino Vargas from Italy."

Lovino said mad. "Please put your bags down and pick an easel." Mr. Percy said. They all put their bags in the pile and took an easel.

Why do we have a pile of bags? That’s strange.

Feliciano was on my right and Kiku was on my left. Lovino was in front of me and Gilbert was behind me. Ludwig was next to Gilbert.

Nice. I get the two best artists.

Also, what happened to Russia? Did he just leave?

"Okay free draw and paint time. Do whatever you want." Mr. Percy said sitting at his desk.

Wow, what a bad teacher.

I decided to draw F/A/C (Favorite Anime Character).

Um. I think that would have to be Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist or possibly Lucy Heartfilia.

I’ve drawn Lucy before, but never Lieutenant Hawkeye.

So I guess I’m drawing her?

I started to draw the character as Kiku peeked at my drawing. His eyes widened as I drew. I finished the character and carefully started to color it in. Kiku seemed very interested in it. I finished coloring and Kiku spoke up "Is that F/A/C!?" Kiku asked eyes sparkling. "Yea it's my favorite anime character." I said. "You rike anime?"

W R I T T E N A C C E N T S

Kiku asked. "Yea. I'm an otaku actually." I said smiling. "We have a rot to tark about then."

sTOP

Kiku said going back to drawing. Since I was finished I walked around looking at people's drawings. I looked at Lovino's easel. He drew a box of tomatoes. "I like your drawing." I said sneaking up on him. He yelped and jumped a little. "God damn ragazza!

Just call me ‘girl’ instead of my name.

You scared the shit out of me!" Lovino said angry. "So you like tomatoes?" I asked already knowing the answer. "No shit Sherlock." Lovino said. I disregarded what he said "You're a good artist." I said still looking at his drawing. Lovino blushed a little and I saw his curl turn into a heart for a split second.

That isn’t physically possible.

"I-I know! I don't need an idiot ragazza like you to tell me!" Lovino said blushing still. I laughed and smiled at him. He did look like a tomato, just like Spain said. He's such a tsundere! I walked back to my easel. "Ciao ragazza!~ I'm sorry about Lovi being mean. He's really a nice guy!"

Oh gee, I couldn’t tell.

Feliciano said. "It's okay. I didn't take any offense." I said smiling. Feliciano looked at me and his curl also turned into a heart for a second.

Oh boy, this story is full of physical impossibilities.

"Your smile is very pretty bella.~" Feliciano stated. "Thanks Feliciano!" I said having the faintest of blushes. "You can just call me Feli bella.~" Feliciano said with a wink.

Hi, Feli bella.

The bell rang and I grabbed my bag. We all left the drawings on the easels. Next I had P.E.

Ew.

I went into the locker room and got changed into my P.E. clothes. The P.E uniform was a basic grey shirt and pink shorts for the girls. The boys had grey shirts and blue shorts.

That’s kind of sexist.

All of the clothes had our names written on them. I'm pretty fit if I do say so myself. My motto is "When you can run like Italy you can eat like America."

No comment.

I put my bag in my locker and walked into the gym. Some people were playing basketball and some were sitting on the bleachers and talking. I saw Ludwig standing awkwardly not sure of what to do.

I relate.

I noticed that the rest of the axis weren't in this class. 'He must be lonely.' I thought. I walked over to Ludwig. "Hey! Your Ludwig right? I'm {Kat}! I'm in your art class!" I said smiling. "Uh...Hallo." Ludwig said holding something behind his back. "What are you holding?" I asked. "Nothing." Ludwig said quickly. "Oh okay." I said pretending not to care. I grabbed the thing out of his hands "Got it!" I said triumphantly. I saw what he had been holding. "Is this a book about how to make friends?" I asked looking at the book. Ludwig blushed profusely "N-Nein." Ludwig lied. "You don't need this." I said throwing the book in the trash. I walked back next to him

"Now. Let's go play some basketball." I said still smiling. Ludwig blushed more. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to where the net was. I grabbed a basketball and threw it at the basket. It hit the rim then bounced off and hit my face. "GAH-" I said as the ball hit my face making me fall backwards. "Frau! Are jou okay?"

Why does everyone address me by my gender?

Ludwig said kneeling down next to me. "I'm fine! Just a bruise!" I said with a small smile. Ludwig sighed "Good. Don't do zhat again." Ludwig said. The bell rang, I said goodbye to Ludwig.

Well, gee, Ludwig, I can’t control gravity.

I went back into the locker room and got changed. I got my backpack from my locker and headed to lunch. I usually sat alone so I took out my headphones. I headed over to the table I always sat at. I put on the delicious tomato song since it seemed fitting. I had learned all of the lyrics of the hetalia character songs. That can happen when you listen to things for a long time. I took out my lunch from my backpack. It was F/L (Favorite Lunch).

Um. I don’t really have one of those.

I was singing along to the song and eating my lunch when my headphones were taken off my head.

How can I simultaneously eat and sing?

I looked up to see Lovino shoving something in my face looking away. "Uh...What are you doing?" I asked. He looked towards me with a pout. "I'm giving you a tomato!" Lovino said angrily. "Just take the damn thing before I change my mind!"

Um.

Thanks?

Lovino said shoving closer to my face. I took the tomato and smiled "Grazie per la Lovino pomodoro!" (Thanks for the tomato Lovino!)

I actually do know what that means without the translation.

I said. Lovino looked shocked. "You know Italian!?" Lovino asked surprised. "Yea! I took it for my first language class."

No, I’m taking Spanish.

I said. Feliciano glomped his brother "There you are fratello! (Brother) I was looking for you!" Feliciano said still hugging his brother. "Get the hell off me veneziano!" Lovino said pushing Feli off. "Oh hey {Kat}! Why are you sitting at by yourself?"

I don’t know, because I want to?

Feliciano asked. "I don't really have anyone to sit with." I said honestly. "You can sit with us!" Feliciano said excited. "Okay let me get my stuff." I said grabbing my bag and lunch. I followed them to their table. "Holy shit…" I said for the third time. Not only were the axis sitting there. Spain was also sitting at the table. "Hola chica!" Spain said. "Hello. I'm {Kat}!" I said holding my hand out. He shook it and said "I'm Antonio!" with a smile. Lovino glared at him.

Why does Romano care?

Is he already in love with me?

I sat down and put my lunch on the table. Feliciano and Lovino sat with me in the middle. I saw Feliciano was eating pasta and that Lovino was eating pizza. Gilbert and Ludwig were eating wurst, Kiku was eating from a bento box, and Spain was eating tomatoes.

Just eating tomatoes for lunch doesn’t sound very filling.

"Bella do you want to try some of my pasta?" Feliciano asked. "No. She wants to try some of my pizza!"

Um.

Romano yelled at his brother. "It's okay guys i'm good." I said not being heard over them arguing. Kiku sensed the mood and refrained from speaking.

Why didn’t he intervene????

Feliciano and Lovino fought with Feli's plate of pasta. Someone came by and bumped them making the pasta spill all over me. "Bella i'm so sorry!" Felciano apologized. "Shit!" Lovino said. "It's okay guys i'll just clean up in the bathroom."

Wow guys.

Just wow.

I said standing up. I walked to the bathroom and cleaned up. I came back without my hoodie. "Okay that's better." I put my hoodie in my backpack. I realized that Feliciano won't have lunch now because it's on the floor. "Oh...Feli do you want some of my lunch?" I asked. Feliciano lit up "Sure! Gratzi {Kat}!~" Feliciano said. We shared a lunch until it was all gone. The bell rang and I said goodbye to the axis plus Spain. I headed to my next class.

This is really weird.

Just really really weird.

Okay.

Yeah, this is definately something I’m going to continue to review.

I’ll see you guys later!

~Kat

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