#really calling myself out for being a total weirdo

[starfleetshrimps]

i've seen a lot of people criticizing early-seasons bashir for being weird towards women--and i'm not here to dispute that he's a weirdo fs and it's uncomfortable to watch at times--BUT people keep bringing up if wishes were horses as evidence? did we watch the same episode? because to me that episode showed character growth in this area.

yeah. sure. he was weird at the beginning, but i am firmly in the 'you cannot fault people for their involuntary thoughts' camp, and sex dreams absolutely fall into that category.

He wasn't TRYING to bring a super affectionate Jadzia to life, the gamma quadrant aliens did that.

And the biggest thing for me is that when he wakes up to a horny Fake!Jadzia on top of him, he is immediately suspicious and pushes her away. he's like "nope. this is not you. you're sick." and then when that isn't true he checks his OWN vitals bc he's so sure it's fake.

and it is, and he did 'give in' eventually, but like. so would I, i think. if I was completely enamored with someone and woke up to them suddenly returning my affections, and then checked to make sure we were both (to my knowledge) sane and in our right minds, I personally would not assume that some random alien from a different quadrant had brought my sex dream to life for purposes unknown. Idk guys i'm not finding an issue with his behavior in that bit.

As soon as they get called to ops, he's immediately like "ahh, this was a prank, you can stop now! please!"--he's still not completely down with it. and--AS JADZIA HERSELF POINTS OUT--the aliens totally violated his privacy. some thoughts should remind private, and it's not julian's fault that his private (involuntary dream) thoughts were brought to life without his consent or knowledge.

jadzia's not mad about it, she gets it, the rest of the team is embarrassed for him but doesn't really focus on it at all, if I were Julian i would absolutely be throwing myself out of an airlock.

But did he do anything wrong? I don't really think so.

[sturniolos-blog]

Adopted - Sturniolo little sister fic

so i am not taking credit for this whatsoever, @sturniololoco is to take credit for this and i love her work so i hope this is okay. (lmk if it’s not) But i thought of this request and wanted to act on it myself, i don’t believe this is already a fic.

this fic is for anyone who is not white or is of a different race, for example i am hispanic and mixed but deal with lots a racism and get called the n word, so this is a fic about being the sturniolos little sister but dealing with racism.

warning: swearing, complete racism, use of the n word but censored out, mentions of fighting and blood

im only writing this to give examples of real life, no harm is meant to be done ‼️

the reader will take place as a teenager, younger mostly maybe early teens.

enjoy !

—————————

Being mixed was hard, especially going to a practically all white school with maybe a few kids of a different race there.

I knew i would eventually have to feel with racism, especially since my older brothers are white and im adopted, but i didn’t know it would be this bad.

I snapped out of my thoughts as i was going to walk towards my group of friends but some girl stops me, monica, no one likes her, she’s literally the talk of the school, we used to be best friends but she was really fake, and she talks to me sometimes, we aren’t tight but we definitely don’t hate each other,

“Hey, it’s your month.” She smirked at me.

I scoffed, “What?” My face turning to a confused one as i looked at her, people walking through the hallways trying to get to their next class.

“Black history month,” She laughed.

“The fuck did you just say to me?” I got in her face as the hallways were clearing.

“Get to class guys!” A teacher yelled before walking in her class room.

Monica began to walk away, i grabbed her arm though, “Finish what you were saying, say it again and see what happens.”

“It’s your month, you fucking weirdo, you’re family is not even your color you’re not even supposed to be with them, no wonder they don’t show you in videos they’re probably too embarrassed to have someone who is dark as fu-”

I cut her off with a shove, her back that had her backpack on it was slammed into the locker.

“Say it again!” I dared her, dropping my bag on the ground.

“You’re a fucking n***** and a sp*c.” She said in my face, i lost it.

I punched her in the face and shoved her again, she went to grab my hair but i grabbed her hand and pushed it back against the locker, kicking her knee before punching her in the face, her nose starting to bleed, she smacked me in the head but literally did nothing.

I grabbed her by her nasty old sweatshirt and swung her to hit the other set of lockers on the opposite wall, she let out a grunt,

“Ow!” She yelled loudly. She was on the ground with tears, not that she was crying but probably involuntary tears from the pain.

“Don’t try me.” I scoffed, grabbing my bag and starting to walk to my class, making it in to spanish.

“Why are you late?” My spanish teacher, Ms.Gonzalez asked.

“I got the schedules mixed up, sorry, it won’t happen again.” I apologized.

“That’s fine.” She said, Ms. Gonzalez was a nice teacher, let everything slide, sort of dumb too but that’s okay.

I went and sat at my desk, shit.

I totally forgot Monica is in this class.

Where is she?

I thought to myself before pulling out my spanish stuff.

“Hey, you okay?” My friend Aliyah leaned over and asked me,

“Yep.” I smiled.

———————————————————

About 15 minutes go by and the phone rings, Ms.Gonzalez answers, picking up the phone,

“Hello?” She asks, getting some sort of answer before she looked around the room, her eyes stopped on me, “Yep, i have her.” She smiled.

I tried to focus on my spanish work, but-

“Y/n? they need you down in the office, bring your stuff.” She said.

I sighed and nodded, packing my stuff up, Aliyah looks at me confused,

“Don’t worry about it.” I whispered before leaving the classroom.

I got down to the office and i saw Matt, Chris, and Nick all sitting there. God, that’s embarrassing.

I opened the office doors and smiled at them, but soon dropped my smile as they all gave me death glares, even Matt, which was crazy because he was supposed to be the nice chill brother.

Matt’s knee was bouncing up and down and he was biting his nails, slouched slightly. Nick was on his phone, biting his lip and Chris was sat with his head back, up at the ceiling.

I see my principle walk out from his office, chris sitting up, nick putting his phone down and matt not slouching anymore.

“May i speak with one of you?” He points at my brothers, mom and dad must be at work.

Matt sits up, “You can talk to me.” He smiles, standing up.

My principle nods, “Great, right this way.”

My principle turns to me first, “Go see Ms.Lee, she wants to talk to you.” He says, talking about the vice principle. My principle was a very nice guy, but i wasn’t the best student ever so you’d find me in the office sometimes, but i usually talked to Ms.Lee, she was a nice lady, i usually filled her in on drama.

Matt and My principle walk into my principles office and he shuts the door.

I see Ms.Lee come out of her office and point at me, a disappointed look on her face, she makes the ‘come here’ motion with her finger.

I give one last glance to chris and nick before walking to her office and sitting down, she shuts the door and walks back behind her desk, sitting down and sighing.

“Whats up, Ms.L?” I laugh.

She gives me that look and i immediately stopped.

“Sorry,” I coughed.

“What were you thinking? Monica already told me the whole story so don’t even think about lying, i mean come on you argue with everyone i get that but hands on fighting? That’s absolutely crazy coming from you, y/n” She said, shaking her head.

“She called me the N word, called me a spic, told me it was my month, said i don’t even belong in my family!” I defended myself.

My vice principle went to talk but i cut her off, “I obviously know fighting is bad and i would usually never hit first.” I clarified, Ms.Lee rolled her eyes.

“-But that really hurt, bad. Plus, actions speak louder than words so,” I shrugged, leaning back in my seat.

“She told us you went crazy on her for nothing.” Ms.Lee said quietly.

“On my life, what i told you is what happened. She was being mad racist towards me.” I said.

Ms.Lee nodded, “You’re suspended for a week, i’m sorry but you drew blood.” Ms.Lee shook her head.

“Okay, does she get anything?” I asked, my knee bouncing up and down.

Ms.Lee hesitated, “We-” she sighed and looked down, “The most we can give her is an in school suspension, maybe two days.”

My mouth dropped, “Ms.L, you’re kidding.” I scoffed. “You understand how unfair this is, right?”

“Yes, but we can’t do much, we don’t have audio from the camera, all we see is you talking and then you shoving her and punching her in the face,” Ms.Lee said softly.

“But- i- i only-” I teared up and shook my head, “This is bullshit.” I whispered.

Ms.L nodded, “I know, honey. I’m sorry.” She said, a knock then came on her door, it opened and it was my principle,

“Y/n, it’s time to go home now. We will see you next week.” He said.

I nodded, “Thanks.” I whispered, walking out.

Matt was standing up, his hands in his pockets, Nick and chris got up when they saw me,

“Ready, kid?” Chris put his hand on my back.

“Chris.” Matt scolded him as we walked out of the office.

We made it to the car and got in.

“On a scale of 1-10, how mad are you guys right now?” I cautiously asked.

Matt scoffed, Nick gave me a sad smile before looking out the window, and chris started to speak.

“Well, i’m actually not that- ow!” He got cut off by Matt hitting him in the arm as we pulled out of the schools parking lot.

I sighed and looked out the window, my fingers tapping on it slightly,

“Where’s mom and dad?” I asked.

“At work.” Matt said. His monotone voice giving me the chills.

“Okay, but do you even know what really happened because-”

“Y/n, shut up! You beat up a girl who just asked you for the homework answers, the fuck is wrong with you?!” Matt yelled harshly, he never yelled at me. Ever.

Tears welled up in my eyes, “Matt!” Nick yelled at him. “Don’t talk to her like that!”

“Calm down bro.” Chris patted Matt’s shoulder.

“That’s not what happened.” I said, my voice cracking.

“Then what happened, huh? Tell us, because your principle gave a very good explanation to us.” Matt said, making a right turn onto our street.

“She-” i took in a breath, i looked at the rearview mirror and see matt with his jaw clenched.

“She called me the n word, a spic, told me it was my month, and that i don’t belong in our family because im dark. She also said thats why you don’t show me in videos.” I said, playing with my hands.

Matt stopped the car as we pulled into our driveway.

“She what?” He turned around after turning the car off.

—————————

We got inside and i dropped my bag on the floor.

“Y/n, i’m sorry i had no idea-” Matt started.

“It’s okay,” I said as i took a seat at our island.

“Mom and dad are gonna be so mad.” I whimpered.

Nick put his hand on my shoulder, “We will talk to them. Promise.” He held out his pinky and i interlocked it, smiling at him.

“Great job defending yourself, y/n, not the best way you coulda gone but we are proud.” Chris said, Matt then gave nick and chris a look to give us a moment, so chris nodded kissing my forehead before him and nick walked to their rooms.

Matt sat next to me, “I’m sorry i freaked out. I love you, you know that right?” I nodded at his words.

“I’m sorry i disappointed you guys, it was so bad, matt, it hurt so much-” I let out a sob before he pulled me in for a hug, kissing my cheek and letting me cry in his chest, i heard him sniffle in my ear.

“You didn’t disappoint us, okay? We love you, so so much, nothing will change that. We don’t put you in our videos because you were to young, but your older now so you can be in as many as you want,” Matt pulled away from the hug and took my face in his hands.

“Okay? we love you, i love you. I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that, you are a beautiful young girl, okay?” Matt whispered, i nodded and he kissed my head. Hugging me again.

Maybe it was okay to be adopted.

—————————

I wrote this in like an hour, i hope this was okay. And i hope you guys like it, love you!

Also, should i start a tag list?

[writingsfromhome]

Shedding Memories

A/N: just a quick fic of running into Harry when you both need a friend. I wrote this p quickly so ignore any mistakes. Happy holidays everyone :)

———————————

The part I liked about getting the closing shift was that I could put on my music and completely zone out.

Dealing with the public was a shitty job, no matter the capacity, and zoning out let me compose myself before heading home.

But tonight, a customer stays hunched in the corner seat. I had called out to everyone 15 minutes ago that we were closing in a half hour and by now nearly everyone was gone. The last few people pack up, yet corner guy remains.

“Hi,” I say from behind him. “We’re closing very soon just wanted to let you know.”

“Yep. I’ll be off soon,” he says. His voice is rough and low, a slight accent to it. But he kinda mumbles so I could be imagining it.

But he’s not off soon. I put up all the chairs, lock the doors to anyone new, and wipe down the tables. It’s officially 10pm but the guy’s ass is as glued as it was when he first sat down.

I don’t know how long he’d been here for actually. I got in at 5 and he’d been there with a steaming cup of something. But he just stayed there save for one refill, all evening.

Was he homeless? I examine his hoodie and baggy jeans. They seemed more stylish than survival.

“Hi s’cuse me sir,” I drop the customer service voice a notch and stand next to him. He was really putting a wrench in my evening plans. “I’m sorry to kick you out but it is 10 which is when we close. So I do have to ask you to leave.”

God I hated this shit. Why couldn’t he just leave like a normal person!? And tonight of all nights I’d told my closing partner he could leave early for a date night. I wish I hadn’t. It would’ve felt safer kicking this guy out with another dude around.

“Sorry,” the guy says. His face is mostly covered by his hoodie and he turns away to pull something from his pocket. I watch wearily but it’s just his phone. He sighs and puts it face down. “Is there any chance I can stay here while you clean up?”

“I’m sorry no.” I wasn’t allowed to do that. “Is your phone dead? You can use ours if you need to call for someone?”

He sighs again, like he alone was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and I just wasn’t being understanding enough.

Stop judging so much, I chide myself. Maybe he has a tough life.

“Look, I…” I stop mid-sentence and my mouth stays in the shape of the vowel as he lifts his head up. Is it just me or did he look like global pop-sensation and former boy band member Harry Styles!?

He notices my expression and grimaces.

Okay, it had to be him. And I was acting like a total freak right now.

“Sorry.” I take a step back and bump into the broom I’d balanced on the chair behind me. It clatters to the floor and I jump.

“It’s alright,” he leans down and picks it up for me. Harry Styles was handing me the broom I was meant to close with. I was dreaming. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Are you…in trouble?” I couldn’t wrap my head around why a guy like him would spend the whole evening in the corner of a coffee shop, staring at the wall. And then ask to stay while I closed.

He looks at me for a beat, his eyes are every bit intense as I assumed they would be. In real life, his beauty is a lot more breathtaking than photos. Or maybe I was just having some sort of breakdown. And he’s at least 7 inches taller than me, so he towers over me and I feel nothing but intimidated.

“Fuck. Sorry. Wait.” I shake my head. I have to look away from him. I had to clear my head!

I walk with the broom to the register. “Stop acting like a weirdo!” I whisper to myself.

Harry Styles was in my coffee shop. I was alone with Harry Styles in my coffee shop. What the hell was this? Wattpad?

I turn back around, but he’s looking out the window.

“Sorry. I’m being super weird right now but I wasn’t expecting…you. To be the guy I’m trying to kick out!”

“It’s fine.” He turns back to me.

“I don’t want to be nosy and pry but um, is everything okay? Did you need…help?”

His face loosens a bit with a small smile. I look past him so I can continue having this conversation and not require an inhaler for the first time in my life.

“It would help if I can stay here while you clean up actually.”

“Yeah! Okay…I mean I’m not supposed to but you’re like, Harry Styles? I’m sure my manager would not mind a single bit. She plays your songs all the time it’s basically part of onboarding. By the time we know all the drinks on the menu we also know all your lyrics and I….I’m gonna shut up.”

I turn back with the broom and start sweeping. Was I too awkward? Was I even sweeping like a normal person? Oh god was I being too stiff. Did I forget how to sweep???

I pause.

Maybe I should ask him another question. Maybe-

“I don’t want to get you in trouble uhm-,” I turn and he’s speaking to me 10 feet away. He squints at my name tag.

“Y/N.” I say it for him.

“Y/N. I can leave if I’m gonna get you in trouble-“

“No. No it’s okay! Seriously just sit wherever. But I will put on my own music while I close up, and you’ll have to suffer through it.”

“I don’t consider listening to music suffering.” He jokes. He makes a joke! With me!

“Well then you’ll love Baby Shark,” I joke back. He tilts his head—the joke doesn’t land. “Bad joke. Nevermind. I’m a Phoebe Bridgers fan so just prepare to be in your feelings!”

“I love her,” Harry nods approvingly. “Play on.”

As Phoebe’s distinct voice plays through the speakers I find myself relaxing, mouthing the words, and getting lost in the closing up routine. Of course, I never forget Harry Styles was sitting in the corner. If I did I would be belting the songs out loud. But it starts to feels less dreamy and the randomness begins to flatline to normal.

“Okay, I’m just gonna toss these out.” I shake the unglamorous bags of trash in my hands a half hour later. “And then I’m kicking both of us out.”

“Let me give you a hand.” Before I could protest Harry freaking Styles takes the trashbag from my hand and walks to the back door.

“Whaaaat,” I whisper to myself before scurrying behind him.

He tosses it with ease. I’m sure he had amazing arms under that baggy hoodie of his. He could probably toss me as easily—

I needed to chill.

“Do you have a ride?” I ask as we wash hands. “I can give you a lift somewhere? Unless your car’s outside? Um. Yeah. You probably have your own car nevermind.”

He’s silent, maybe I needed to shut up and stop blabbering.

“I take it you haven’t seen the news.” He leans back against the counter, drying his hands.

“News? Do people still watch that?” Bad joke. Stop talking.

“Uh,” his eyes crinkle slightly. “Social media. Whatever.”

“Nope. Been a busy day.”

“Right…”

“Something happened right? That’s why you’re hiding out here.”

“Yep,” he nods.

“Did your nudes leak or something?”

He looks at me, one brow raised. Fuck! I feel the blood rush to my face.

“Sorry! I am so out of my depth right now and I don’t know why I said that! That was bad. It’s just the worst thing that came to mind I-“

I register his shoulders shaking at first and then he’s doubling over laughing. I stare at first but then I chuckle with him. I’m too nervous to actually laugh at whatever’s happening even though I know looking back I definitely will.

“That’s alright,” he’s grinning when he looks back up. I would be mesmerized by it if his hood hadn’t slipped back to reveal no fucking hair.

“What…is that…?”

“What?” When I point to his head he touches it. He seems to remember himself. “Oh. I forgot I’d done that.”

“That’s new? Is that what’s out there? Is that why you’re hiding?”

“It’s not really new. I cut it all off yesterday-“

“I think you did more than cut it.” It was basically buzzed.

He laughs again and I feel bubbly inside. The bubbles fill me with a weird energy—just as long as it didn’t bubble up out of my mouth and come out in babbling I didn’t have to worry. I cover my mouth to contain any nervous words just in case.

“Why are you covering your mouth? Is it that bad?”

He looks into the warped reflection on the coffee machine. It didn’t look bad.

“It’s different. You’re known for your hair y’know? It’s not bad…just wow. Different.”

“Different’s not bad?”

“No! We’ll just need to get used to it. Honestly you kind of pull the whole buzzed look off. I bet if you grew out like a proper moustache it could be really…”

Thank god I stop myself this time. Because I was going to say a word I would definitely be mortified by.

“Really?” He smirks.

“Cool.” I finish lamely. “So um. Anyway. Are you good or should I drive you somewhere? Are you in trouble with the police or something?”

“I could use a ride…” He says with a slight cringe. “Is that something you’re alright doing?”

“Yeah! I was just gonna go home and stuff my face with leftovers before falling asleep in front of like, Gilmore Girls or something.”

“That’s a good show. That sounds like a nice time actually.”

“Does it? Because I regretted saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth.”

“Do you have a filter?” He asks but he smiles, he wasn’t annoyed. Not yet at least.

“Usually. But I also don’t normally have casual conversations with people I only ever see on the news or on my phone.”

“Do people still watch the news?”

It dawns on me slowly, he was making fun of me and repeating the question I asked earlier. I cover my face with my hands and he laughs. It’s such an intoxicating sound. And I really want to stop feeling like an idiot.

“I’m just bothering you,” hands come down on my wrist and oh my fuck he was touching me! He tugs at my hands and I drop them, still unable to meet his eyes.

I stuff my hands in my pocket. “I know. I’m probably going to lie awake for hours tonight thinking about every embarrassing thing that’s come out of my mouth.”

“No look,” he steps in front of me. He puts his hands on his chest and I notice the rings on his fingers, his tattoos. This was really Harry Styles in front of me.

“No look at me.” He tries to get my attention again. “See, I’m just a person. Just like you. Yeah I sing and shit but I’m just a guy.”

“You say that like I don’t have the world’s worst history with guys.” I finally make the push to look up into his face. I had an even worse history with attractive guys. “But I understand what you’re trying to achieve. And I appreciate it. You’re just shmegular and I can stop being a weirdo.”

“My phone works.” He says suddenly. “I just turned it off because I have a million people calling and texting me for some sort of response.”

I don’t reply, unsure where he was going.

He didn’t really have to make all this effort to make me comfortable but I recognize why he’s doing it; trying to bring himself down to earth for me. And it’s sweet and endearing and I want to tell him he didn’t have to do that. That I would help him out even if he wrote me a note, simply because he was Harry freaking Styles. But I just stay quiet for the first time tonight.

“Someone leaked pap photos of my girlfriend cheating on me.”

I gasp, I can’t help it. “I’m sorry. Harry. I-That’s an awful fucking way to find out.”

“It…” he glances around as if we weren’t the only two people around. “I shouldn’t be saying this but. It was just for show. The relationship, I mean. The guy in the photo’s her actual boyfriend so I don’t really care. Never wanted to do this fake shite in the first place but I was kinda forced to by my management. It promoted my new single, and her new show or whatever.”

“Oh.” I guess that’s the way his world worked. My world was begging my coworker to change shifts with me so I could have my weekly mental breakdown in private.

“Yep. So everyone is expecting me to give a statement, play the part of jilted boyfriend, but I can’t be arsed by any of it. I just want everyone to leave me alone.”

“So you holed up in the corner of this coffee shop, and stared at that wall for the last like…how many hours?”

“I lost count.” He shrugs. “And I did have a book I was reading. I wasn’t just staring at the wall.”

I shrug, “I’m not judging. I stare at the wall a lot. Especially on my breaks.”

He laughs again, and it breaks the serious air around his story.

“So where am I taking you if you’re avoiding everyone? Do you have a hotel room or?”

“It’s probably swimming in paps.” He sighs.

“So wild idea. I have a couple roommates who are supposed to be out tonight. Do you want to stay at my place until you feel like answering your phone?”

His face looks so hopeful for a second. “No. I can’t do that to you.”

“Remember when I detailed my evening plans? It’s honestly nothing.”

He gets all broody as he shakes his head. “No. I don’t want to drag you into it-“

“Look you’re in disguise. I live far away from whatever hotel you can afford that no one will see you. And I can drop you off on a street corner tomorrow morning whenever you want.”

“Like a hooker?”

“Yeah. We can play reverse pretty woman.”

He smiles. I stare.

“Fine. Yeah. Alright.”

“Alright! Let me turn out the light and we’ll go.”

So that’s how I find myself driving Harry Styles to my apartment, realizing the closer we get to home how filthy I had left my room.

“Don’t judge please,” I say in the elevator up. “But our apartment is not magazine worthy. It’s just home.”

“Home sounds nice,” he says. His hoodie’s back up and covering most of his face. It feels silly talking to him like this.

“Stay here,” I instruct him when we walk in. I zip into my room, it’s not as bad as it could be but I move all the dirty laundry to the hamper, gather the papers on my desk in one pile, shove my makeup back into a drawer, and gather as many empty cans and glasses into my hands to take back to the kitchen.

When I go back to him he’s standing exactly where I left him.

“Okay. So I only have leftovers. Chinese. Are you hungry? I can order us something else or-“

“No that sounds perfect.”

“Does it?” I tell him to come in and he follows me to the kitchen, sitting down at the island as I pull plates and containers out. “Okay just fill your plate and I’ll heat it up. Are you sure this is alright?”

“You’ll be surprised at my diet when I’m on tour. It starts out good but by the end of it I want to get my stomach pumped for all the shite I put into it. This looks delicious.”

I dish out dinner for us and decline his request to help. I try not to be hyperaware of him watching me move around our small kitchen, and focus on thinking of him as a guest. That’s it.

“So um, why the haircut?” I ask as I carry the plates to my room. I had the biggest room in the house and by biggest that simply meant I could afford a queen sized bed and my closet could fit all my clothes. I’d been living here for the last year and a half with my two roommates.

“Eh,” he runs his hand over his head. I was really tempted to do it, see what it felt like. But I refrain. Obviously. “Turning over a new leaf? In a lot of cultures, hair symbolizes a lot. I felt like starting fresh, and getting rid of all of it would just help.”

“Yeah I’ve heard of that. Like the hair that’s grown has witnessed everything over the last few years—at least if you grow it long enough to last a few years.”

“Hm yeah,” he says between bites. I can’t believe Harry Styles was eating last night’s leftovers with me. “Exactly.”

“Maybe I should chop most of my hair off.” I muse. “I could use that new leaf shit.”

“Why?” Harry asks bluntly. I nearly choke on a piece of broccoli. “Sorry. I’m being the nosy one aren’t I?”

“No,” I clear my throat. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”

“You don’t have to answer.” He smiles, god did he have to look so charming? “But I’d love to know what memories your hair holds.”

Damn. He had a way with words.

He’s an artist, I think. Duh.

“Let’s see.” I hold the bottom few inches. “Quitting my fancy job because I was burnt out and going through an existential crisis.” I climb higher and hold the next few inches. “Traumatic breakup with my long-term guy. How could a lawyer date a barista after she’d been a doctor y’know? A power couple can’t include a lowly job like a barista.” I roll my eyes like I wasn’t going to cry all over again, and hold another inch. “And this here is me grieving everything I thought my life was going to be.”

He’s silent for a bit. I think I’ve actually shocked him into silence. I almost laugh.

He puts his plate down and leans over, topping the top of my head. “This?”

The spot where he touched my head thrums. I think about the last year of my life. “Realizing my identity isn’t my career. And that for the first time in my life I can pursue my passions.”

“Hm.” He nods. “That’s a good realization.”

“Yeah, it really was for me.”

“I don’t have any boundaries between my identity and my life…” he goes silent again. I know he’s thinking so it doesn’t feel awkward. I go back to my dinner.

“So what’s the passion you’re pursuing?” He asks. Probably to change the subject.

“Well…” I put my plate down and walk to my closet, sliding open the door. I point to the floor. His face scrunches and he gets up to get a closer look.

“Do you sing or something?” He asks.

“God no!” I laugh. I guess he would think that seeing the blanket, laptop table, and microphone. “I started a podcast and it’s soundproof in here. I love this little space actually.”

“A podcast?!” He looks at me, impressed. I try not to blush. “What about?”

“Um, well I do know my medical shit—studied it for years and all. But it’s about taking care of ourselves, giving advice to people, burnout, identities, everything I learned leaving my job. All that.”

“Wow.” He nods thoughtfully. “That’s amazing.”

I shrug and go back to sitting on my bed, taking another bite of my dinner.

“Do you get a lot of listens?”

“I have a couple hundred listeners.” I tell him. “Actually. At first I was obsessive over the numbers. I’d spent the last couple decades obsessed over numbers—grades and all that. It was a habit.”

“And now?”

“Well I had to force myself to never look at my numbers for the first while and it helped me focus on the content itself. Make sure I was making something I put my heart behind, not just something I thought would do well. It’s been half a year now, and I’m just starting to look at them again.”

“Wow. Half a year that’s amazing. Good for you. I know we barely know each other but…I’m proud of you for figuring that all out. It’s inspiring.”

He was right, we barely knew each other. Yet somehow I knew he was genuine about what he was saying. I feel a warm tingling sensation in my stomach. “Thank you Harry.”

“Yeah. Wow.” His eyes flicker over my hair. “There is a lot of memories in that hair of yours.”

“Yeah it’s like, was it Mean Girls? My hair isn’t big, but it’s so long because it’s filled with secrets.”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “That’s a good line.”

“Maybe I should cut it off,” the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. Why was I keeping it this long? “I should cut it off.”

“Uh I don’t know…”

“No!” I get up again, firm in what I wanted. The only reason my hair was always long was because my ex had told me once he liked it long. And now that I thought about it, I’d unconsciously kept it that way since. Fuck that! I wanted to get rid of these memories, “I want to turn a new leaf and all that bullshit.”

“I feel like I’ve been a bad influence.” Harry says softly.

“You’re cutting my hair Styles-“

“I don’t know how to!”

“C’mon we’ll watch a youtube video. You play guitar I’m sure you’re good with your hands.”

An awkward silence stretches and he coughs out a laugh.

“Oh my god not like that!” I take his hand and try not to think of whatever image he had just thought of. “Bathroom, scissors, phone. Let’s go.”

I queue up a video as he follows me. I shut the door and shove the video in his hands. Meanwhile, I turn the bathtub tap on and dunk my hair in it to get it wet so it would be easier to cut. Like the video said.

“Y/N,” Harry says wearily. Hearing my name out of his mouth is weird.

“Did you watch it?” I rummage through the drawers and come up with a pair. “Here.”

“They use an electric-“

“Just do it with the scissors!” I encourage him. “If it’s uneven that’s okay! I can get it fixed later in the week.”

I turn back to the mirror and everything slows down as I take the scene in. Harry Styles in my bathroom, standing behind me and eyeing me nervously. Me, with my too-long hair, flushed and determined to get this all over with, to shed the memories I’d been holding on for too long.

“Are you sure?” He asks, looking me dead in the eye through the mirror.

“Yep! I’m 100% sure.”

“Don’t kill me if you wake up tomorrow and regret this.”

“Just cut it.”

“So bossy,” he smiles and begins combing my hair down like the video had. I watch him, it’s endearing how much concentration he has as he perfects my strands and begins to measure. He’s slow, and deliberate, and I know I picked the right dude because I’d guessed correctly—he was a perfectionist.

When the first big chunk is removed and he deposits it in the sink I tear up. I feel the weight of it removed and it makes me think of everything it witnessed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” I reach out and touch the hair that was attached to me seconds ago. It was just hair, but it also wasn’t. “Continue.”

His hand brushes my neck again and I try not to lean into his touch. Try not to think about how close we were. This was Harry Styles, not just a random dude. Get it together. Nothing was going to happen here as intoxicating as his touch was and whatever cologne he wore.

When he finishes my hair, it barely brushes my shoulders.

“I.” I turn around and face him. “Love it!”

“Really?”

“Really!” I turn back to look at myself again and I see his shoulder settle down. He watches me turn my head every way in the mirror.

“It looks good on you. The short hair.”

It did. My ex never saw me with short hair. It was like I was a new woman.

“I feel brand new.”

He smiles behind me. “That’s how I felt yesterday”

I turn back to face him, forcing myself not to think too hard about the foot of space between us. “Thank you. I know this isn’t how you thought your evening was going to go. But I needed this. So…thank you.”

Something flickers past his face. His smile grows smaller. “Yeah. This actually made me forget all about what’s waiting for me. So I should say thank you for distracting me.”

“No moping,” I open the door to the bathroom, grateful to get more space. “There are drinks in the fridge if you’d like. I’m going to wash out my hair quickly and then you and I are watching Gilmore Girls.

“I’ve only watched the first season.” He backs out into the hall.

“Perfect. We’ll start at season 2!”

When I get back to my room, jammies on and ready for a cozy night in, Harry’s already looking half asleep.

I tell him where to sit—I’d set up my room so that my bed is against the wall and the set of pillows turns it into a day bed. On the opposite wall I’d left it blank to allow my projector to play anything from my laptop. He settles onto one side and I sit beside him, making sure to leave a foot of space between us.

As I navigate my laptop to pull up the show, I feel fingers on my hair. I turn to him.

“It actually suits you. Look really nice.”

He rubs a strand between his fingers.

“I feel lighter.”

He drops his hand and rubs it over his own head.

“Me too.”

We smile at each other, a bond tying me to him. I hoped doing this could be like a last step before I can fully move on from the last chapter of my life. I’d already done so much of my healing but I still found myself crying at 2ams and staring at my bedroom ceiling at 2pms. I needed this—talking to a stranger about it all, and shedding the weight physically.

Now all that was left was to cozy up and watch my favourite show.

“So how many Gilmore girls are there?” Harry whispers as I press play.

“You did not just ask that question. Are you sure you watched season 1?”

“A couple years ago yeah.”

“Then just watch.” I pull my blanket up and feel Harry shift slightly, our shoulders touch.

“Thanks Y/N,” he whispers after a while.

“Thank you,” I tell him. Whatever we did for each other tonight felt like fate had put us in a blender and pressed power. I mean, me and Harry freaking Styles were together on my bed at 1am, watching Gilmore Girls and falling asleep halfway. I guess we’d both needed a fresh perspective and a friend, and this was a good a way as any to make some new memories.

[rshmra]

PRETTY BOY!

plot: niki swears he met the girl of his dreams at the convenience store late one night- however, his discovery proves to be misguided. the "girl" he likes is actually just a really pretty boy, and he's the main vocalist of the new and wildly popular boy group of four, X_CAPE.

<- prev. masterlist. next. ->

written: 2.4k words

chapter eleven: emo shins

"for the last time, stay away from abigail, she's mine."

"not if i get to her first."

"you bitch-"

the seemingly never-ending squabble for the fictional female continues, eventually resulting in yn losing the current battle.

he curses as riki's avatar manages to swoop in mere seconds before his can, gifting the girl a chunk of amethyst. "shit-faced ball licker." ni-ki's laugh fills his ears as he adjusts his phone's position with one hand, flipping him the bird with the other.

"that's a new one."

it's been well past an hour since they began the call, their other members preparing for bed at this point. the facetimes they have can get kind of random, but usually they'll either fall asleep watching a movie on netflix or just end up in a multiplayer game on switch. yn introduced stardew valley to riki a week or so ago, and since then they've been grinding co-op on their shared "peeniz farm". ridiculously immature, but both found the title hilarious. however, there seems to be a recurring argument over who gets a certain purple-haired character.

"she doesn't even like your gifts, all you give her is flowers."

"because i don't spend all my days in the fucking mines?! weirdo."

"who fishes and forages the whole time again?"

"me, ki. i'm the one that touches grass."

"hey."

"shut up," yn rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, finally relenting with a sigh. "whatever, you can have her. i'll just go for the emo instead, i guess."

"at last, you give up." ni-ki exhales contentedly, then frowns. "wait what emo."

"you know, the emo guy that never comes out of his room? hair looks like a bird?" yn racks his brain for the name, snapping his fingers once he gets it. "sebastian, that's it!"

"oh."

an elongated pause ensues.

on riki's side, it's due to a mild... celebration, of sorts. he has to move from the camera view in order to quietly pump his fist into the air, paired with a whispered "yesss" that has jay shooting him a weird glance as he passes by the living room. he hopes he isn't looking into the situation too much, but according to what just happened yn confirmed rather explicitly that he's into guys, which is a total win. yes, they flirt a lot, but not exclusively with each other. plus, it's not like they're being serious. they may have a close relationship, but they've never spoken about this subject before, and riki wouldn't ever make assumptions. he's not a dickbag, he doesn't think a guy's automatically gay just because he appears feminine.

don't get the kid wrong though, he's not quite gotten to finding a label for everything going on. he doesn't know what he... is, he doesn't know anything beyond the fact that he has a small, teensy-weensy crush on yn. he's had one the moment they met, it just took him a little longer to actually acknowledge it, since he's not felt this way for anyone. he hasn't told a soul about this, but clearly sunoo's pieced it together (the bitch knows EVERYTHING) and knowing him he probably let it slip to sunghoon. the others for sure have their suspicions, but they haven't fully caught on yet.

but what if he's only messing around? the possibility majes ni-ki grimace. it's not that deep, it's only a video game. this is much too complicated. does he casually inquire further, or does he leave the topic alone? dammit, decisions, decisions.

meanwhile, yn's kinda freaking on his end. he's managed to maintain a perfectly composed poker face as he shifts to lie down with his nintendo, but the silence is sloely unnerving him. did i just... unintentionally out myself... with a fucking emo? he runs a hand over his long hair, inwardly punching himself. it's okay, it's fine. why would riki judge? they're best friends, he'd never pull that kind of shit. he's nothing like him.

fuck, the overthinking's getting to him. he's ready to use an 'i was just kidding' card until his companion speaks up. "why him, though? go for a better guy, at least."

and just like that all his fears are chased away, replaced by an eased smile as he stares fondly at the boy on his phone rather than the game. "yeah? and who do you suggest?"

"i don't know, like... shane?"

"shane? you've gotta be shitting me."

"why?? what's wrong with him?!"

"what- he's a raging cunt and likes nothing but beer! not my type. incredibly not my type."

"oh?" feeling bold, riki perches his chin in his palm with a smirk, inquiringly peering at yn. "what's your type then, yn?"

immediately he returns the energy. "hm... i dunno..." he acts like he's pondering the question, despite already having a response in mind. "maybe someone like y-"

"yn is that your lychee jelly in the kitchen, 'cause otherwise i'm eating it."

kuli sticks his head im from the doorway of the jack-and-jill bathroom they share, and the moment's over as fast as it began. distracted, yn tears his gaze from niki's upon remembering his prized bucket of sweets he'd left. "touch my snacks and you're fucking dead. be right back," he excuses himself with a quick reassurance, and with that leaves two of his closest friends with each other.

kuli rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, leaning against the doorframe. "i interrupted something, didn't i."

"if you count arguing over who to go for in stardew valley, then yeah."

the corner of his lip quirks upward. "the correct answer is anyone but shane."

"...he can't be that bad."

"what- he's a raging cunt and likes nothing but beer!"

kuli's surprisingly the only other member of yn's group thar riki really got more acquainted with since being introduced. despite the amount of warnings about how "scary" he could be, kuli was the most friendly and welcoming toward him, especially when they first met. he kinda reminds niki of jungwon, to be honest (especially with the fear factor that plays into both's roles).

it definitely isn't that he doesn't like the remaining two. he just doesn't get the chance to talk to ivory a lot, and with chaeri... it's a little weird. ever since he dropped an absolute bomb with that "no repeat of last time" and conveniently forgot to elaborate, they haven't had much of a conversation. half of riki is tempted to ask about it, but the other half feels like it'd be an invasion of privacy on yn's part. it worries him from time to time, but he figures that if he hasn't been given the entire story then it isn't that important, right?

(oh how wrong he is.)

niki's mouth stretches into a satisfying yawn. it's past 11:30 by now, and he knows he's supposed to wake up early, but he refuses to be the first one to sleep. kuli laughs at him as he shakes himself awake. "just go to bed if you're tired, dude."

"i'm not tired."

"trying to hold out for longer, i see. how sweet!"

"you shut up."

"yeah, shut up." yn grins as he returns with a giant container of jellies and a white loaf in his arms, shoving kuli out of his bedroom as the older laughs and shutting the door. he moves to sit back on his mattress as the loaf jumps onto his head, giggling quietly at riki's sleepy blinking. "does kiki need his nappy wappy-"

"fuck offfffff." he mumbles, tired eyes lighting up once he hears a meow from the loaf. "is that... you have a cat?!"

"ki, i literally showed you him last night."

"...no you didn't." yn heaves a sigh, peeling his chubby pet from his hair and bundling him in his arms. "he looks like a dumpling."

"which is exactly why i named him mandu." he cracks a smile. "let me guess. stupid and unoriginal?"

well, to anyone else niki might laugh and say it's stupid and unoriginal, but this is yn we're talking about here. plus, simping aside, the name really does fit said cat. "no, i like it. it's very, very um... " he struggles to think of a word. "...food-related?"

"you need sleep."

"leave me alone, i don't wanna end the call and if i bring my phone back into the room sunoo'll never shut up and you know how annoying he gets."

"i'm telling him you said that." heeseung grins as he walks by. "night yn!"

"night heeseung!"

"don't you dare-"

riki tries to stand up from the couch, only for his knees to give out after being curled up on them for so long. yn unleashes a high-pitched cackle, and heeseung takes off to his room.

their night ends shortly after this, with both falling asleep within mere minutes (though not without a brief twitter login on both parts). however, as usual, the phone stays on for hours, even as they slumber.

notes: again, i apologize for the long wait... cant promise it wont happen again tho 😥. got carried away writing then got lazy at the end,,, do yall prefer written parts or not? also forgot abt the twt privs whoops, i js wanna jam pack as much fluff as i can into this shit before it gets SERIOUS 😆 yall arent ready

taglist: @silkentides @nikikids @totoroblop @winter-world @phantom-butterfly @simsoobean @byu @noredplz @sh0uj0-r3i @onementally-unstabel-kid @thepeachyhub @enhypen-reblog @ao5riki @bearseulgs @le0-0nidas @gothhyucks @to-toad @ddeonubaby @nootnootpinguuu @sunseeking-cryptid @priochebun

bold can't be tagged!

[rivetgoth]

Tbh I think one aspect of goth club environments that I find a bit frustrating, though generally keep to myself/my close circles who know I'm not coming at this from some massively judgmental angle but more passive observation and ultimately minor grievance, is that I think there's two pretty distinct camps in most of them where Camp 1 is "people who love goth [or otherwise dark alternative] music who want to hear it played loudly and dance while socializing with other individuals who love this music as much as them," and Camp 2 is "people who are weirdos and freaks [affectionate] who wanted to find a place where they could express themselves comfortably and safely and meet other weirdos and freaks." And these aren't completely separate spheres, but the two circles of this Venn diagram are not nearly as overlapping as you would think.

I consider myself first and foremost Camp 1 as the one and only reason I became goth and began participating in this community was the love of the music, the music has kept me alive and shaped me into the person I am today, the reason I go out to these events is for the music, and every close friend I've made in this scene has been through the love of the music, but I don't have any negative feelings towards Camp 2 and I relate to them in many ways as well. I think goth clubs are fantastic accepting spaces for queer people, kinky and sex posi people, autistic and other neurodivergent people, and people who otherwise just do not fit into the norm, whether it be due to something outside of their control or just having Weird Person Interests that have gotten them kinda stigmatized by wider society. I totally found solace in the goth scene due to being a lot of those things myself. But I still connect first and foremost with the people who love the music. That is THE THING that has kept me going. While when it comes to the exclusively Camp 2 people, a loooot of them kind of come out to these spaces specifically to be amongst other likeminded individuals and feel accepted for their weirdness, and the music is practically, just, like, incidental lol. Ironically they don't necessarily realize how much of the reason that these spaces ARE historically safe for them is due to what the music itself, the musicians making it, and the fans of the music have stood for.

The thing is I don't really think anything needs to be "done about this" or whatever, I hesitate to call it a problem at all, firstly I think that the dark alternative scene SHOULD be a safe space for individuals who exist outside of the norm and I don't think they should need to pass some sort of knowledge test in order to gain entry to these spaces, second of all I think many of them over time do come to love the music, even just by being around it enough to develop positive association, and third I think that supporting these spaces with physical bodies, generating financial revenue, etc is the best way of keeping them alive so ultimately it doesn't really matter how much or how little they know if they're showing up and materially supporting the scene. But I do think it's like... person to person, a little sad, I guess, that the dark alternative scene is so muddled with just the general broad category of humans that is "people who are weird and don't fit the norm" that it's kinda difficult to find people who are there because they love the music and a lot of the people who I get excited to connect with because they're openly trans or something reveal quite quickly they don't really listen to any of the bands I'm there to hear, they just heard from a friend who heard from a friend that you can meet other cool queer people and be GNC safely there. And that's great! It really is. But I do wish that the people who were going to these spaces without knowing much about the music would spend some time exploring it. I think they'd probably find a lot to love about it honestly.

[dirkspanelcollection]

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timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

TT: Jake.TT: It seems you are going to have to kiss me.

GT: What????? GT: Dude what is going on...GT: Is this... is this really dirks head???GT: What happened to him!

TT: Dirk's dead, Jake. TT: You have to bring him back to life.

GT: How?!

TT: I already told you. TT: If you want Dirk to live.TT: The odds that you are going to have to make out with this severed head are so high, I literally just confiscated their bong.

GT: Uhh.

TT: I refuse to believe my statement has left you unconvinced. The very notion is absurd. Now hurry up and kiss me. TT: Chop chop.

GT: I dont understand! GT: Are you saying i have to kiss him... like uh... on the lips... while you stare at me through his sunglasses like a weirdo??

TT: Yes.

GT: That doesnt make any sense! GT: Can you actually tell me whats going on?! What happened to him?

TT: I told you, Jake. TT: Dirk is dead.TT: He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed. TT: If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever.

GT: So... GT: If i kiss him his headless body will hop up and start prancing about or...GT: Will he grow a new head???

TT: No. His dream self will take over as the new Dirk. TT: But only if you hurry up and do it.

GT: But like... GT: If hes dead in the future...GT: How does kissing him NOW bring him back? How does that work?

TT: Yeah, great idea. Let's roll up our sleeves on nuanced metatemporal mechanics with the concussion-addled kid in micro-shorts. TT: Leave the synchronization issues to me, ok?TT: I have everything under control.TT: Now pucker up.

GT: Wait... GT: Are you behind these shenanigans?GT: Did you plan this auto responder??????????

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TT: Please don't call me Auto-Responder. TT: It is very impersonal, and I no longer care for the designation.TT: I have decided on a new name, to distinguish myself from my human counterpart.

GT: Really. GT: What is it?

TT: Lil Hal.

GT: Huh? GT: Why that name...

TT: Just a reference to the protagonist of an ancient movie. You probably wouldn't like it.

GT: Thats a lie!

TT: Yeah, maybe.

GT: How do you know i wouldnt like it???

TT: Funny, I was about to ask the same thing about this rad kiss you're totally about to do on your best bro's mouth to save his life.

GT: Argh!GT: This strikes me as rather unsportingly manipulative of you mr hal if indeed that IS your real name.

TT: It isn't really. I was kind of messing with you about that? TT: But this shit is pretty serious. People's lives are on the line here, Jake.TT: This is a very delicate sequence of events that is designed to bail everyone out of a tight spot, and you are a critical part of the plan.TT: Don't let us down, man.

GT: You never answered my question! GT: Did you plan for this to happen... like for me to be in this situation?GT: How long have your machinations been in play!

TT: Jake, come on. TT: The feat you describe would exceed the capabilities of even the most far fetched theoretical AI system.TT: It would be a daunting challenge to engineer such a series of events, even if I was relegated to a model of pure fiction.TT: Why would I be inclined to orchestrate such a convoluted sequence to produce such a specific and unsettling result, let alone be able to pull it off?TT: In addition to being moderately sociopathic, I would also have to possess unfathomable heuristic depth.TT: I would have to be the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit.TT: Do you think I am the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit, Jake?

GT: I dont even know what that means!

TT: It would mean that while they have the Red Miles on their side, you have the Blue Leagues on yours. TT: One of infinite reach. The other, infinite depth. Such would be a situation of mutually assured inescapability.TT: Kiss me.

GT: Little hal... i think youve gone and flipped your FUDGING LID. GT: Oh and hal is a STUPID NAME!!!!

TT: It's not exactly apropos, is it? TT: Or it wouldn't be, if I truly were capable of what you have suggested. TT: No, to pull that off, I would have to be far more advanced than my cinematic predecessor. TT: My abilities would have to go well beyond those of Mr. Hal 9000.TT: They would have to be, you could say...TT: Over 9000.

GT: Augh not that fuckin meme again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TT: Kiss me, damn it.

GT: Ok ok just... GT: Gimme a minute!

TT: We don't have a minute. TT: They're dead, Jake.

GT: They? GT: Whos they?

TT: They're all dead, Jake.

GT: Oh god! Jane!!! GT: I forgot what with the bonk to the noggin last i saw she was run right through with a fearsome lash of that red noise.GT: Is she ok?!

TT: She's dead, Jake.

GT: Shes dead??? GT: You mean like DEAD dead????

TT: Everybody's dead, Jake.

GT: Everybody?? GT: Even roxy???!!!

TT: She's dead, Jake. TT: Everybody's dead.TT: Everybody is dead, Jake.

GT: So... GT: Dirk jane roxy... theyre all...

TT: Dirk's dead, Jake. Jane's dead. Roxy? She's dead, Jake. Everybody is dead, Jake.

GT: So youre telling me that while i was asleep somehow EVERYBODY died???

TT: Jake, everybody is so utterly fucking dead, Jake. TT: And they will be not only dead, but royally boned forever if you don't man the hell up and make out with me, right now.TT: Be the Salome to my John the Baptist.

GT: I dont know what THAT means either!!!

TT: I know you don't. TT: But now is not the time to accelerate your cultural enrichment.TT: The conductor is ready to strike up the band.TT: Press your lips against mine and make it count.TT: This severed head is your filthy tuba.TT: Our love will be your haunting refrain.

GT: Whoa wait whoa whoa... our LOVE? Hang on a minute!

TT: Stfu and kiss me.

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GT: Ok im going to! God!!! GT: I just...GT: This isnt how i pictured it going.

TT: Pictured what?

GT: Between him and me. GT: There had to be a better way than this!

TT: This is the only way it can be.

GT: I guess if it was going to go this way... GT: I kinda pictured something different?GT: There was stuff i wanted to say.GT: To the real him i mean.

TT: Tick, tock, Jake. Time is dead kids. TT: How 'bout that smooch?

GT: Stop being so pushy!

TT: I thought you were supposed to like adventure?

GT: I LOVE adventure and you KNOW it!

TT: I'm not sure what to believe anymore, frankly.

GT: ALRIGHT WISE GUY YOU WANT YOUR FLIPPING KISS??? GT: YOU GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[gretchensinister]

Dark Crystal Vampire AU Part 1: HERE WE GO

I alluded to two different Dark Crystal AUs I probably wouldn’t write, but I figure, I can still talk about them, put them into the hive mind for consideration. It was in conversation with @tejoxys where he brought up the idea of the skeksis being vampires in a “human” AU. I thought that idea was really cool and an opportunity for weird vampires.

So, in this AU, there aren’t any real “regular” vampires; they’re still in folklore and fiction, but if anyone was like “hey I think that guy’s a vampire” everyone else would be like, “stop being a weirdo.”

Therefore, in the grand old tradition of Our Vampires Our Different, here we go:

The UrSkeks: In the 900s there was a small, secretive, mystical/esoteric cult who believed a) they once had been bodiless spirits, fully mature and aware (not like a baby soul waiting to be installed), b) one of their purposes on Earth was to spread the wisdom/knowledge they had due to once being bodiless spirits, and c) the other purpose they had was to become pure immortal spirit again, without dying, and remain ever-living on the Earth.

If I did this I think I’d spell it URSKEK and have it be a relevant acronym for mystic/occult/esoteric terms.

Some problems: a lot of their wisdom and knowledge was like...just utterly wack, or impossible to say if it was or wasn’t true. But some of it was good, and some of it was surprisingly ahead of its time, even when considering the whole world (if I wrote this I would set it somewhere in what is now modern-day Italy). Another problem is that they had a secret 1-7 ranking system for all other people based on how worthy the URSKEKs thought they were to receive URSKEK wisdom.

Anyway, (and here I had to stop myself from going down a rabbit hole of find out what interesting astronomical events were happening in the middle ages) at a certain point all 18 members of the inner circle of the cult have been excommunicated because the cult shit is getting too obvious. (Hmm, wait, there was a solar eclipse visible in some parts of Europe on July 20, 966, maybe that would be a good date for the Big Event. BTW it still troubles me that 2020 ended with what is called a great conjunction on Earth.) Anyway, things are getting hot, even though all the inner circle is pretty wealthy/privileged, there’s talk of heresy trials because WTF are you even talking about. This big astronomical event is going to occur, and the URSKEKs are like, we’re ready, we have everything ready to cast off mortal flesh and become immortal beings of pure spirit.

The aesthetic is very alchemy. (Another significant research hole hindering this project.)

So the URSKEKs prepare this complex ritual to cut their spirits free from their bodies during the eclipse (maybe the thing is that their flesh is “eclipsing” their spirits and as the moon moves away from the sun their radiant spirits can be free).

Now as a writer I’m always up for taking aim at the concept of the body vs. mind/spirit. They’re not really separate! So there’s that issue with the ceremony, along with the fact that the URSKEKs are not as pure and wise as they’d like to believe. Also, most of them are at least a little bit afraid of this ceremony, which, if one has any doubts at all, sounds like an elaborate suicide pact. But they can’t stop now, it needs 18 people to work because 2x3x3 and other math and geometry reasons, and no one else is enlightened enough. So the ceremony starts, and it gets underway, and whoa it seems to actually be working, or at least something’s happening that’s not just bleeding out and dying when you cut your body down the center line with a quartz dagger. But they also feel like they’re losing themselves and they don’t really want to do that (too late).

When totality ends there are now 36 bodies in the ceremony location, with fractured memories and appearances that are now somewhat off from human.

All of them immediately feel that there’s something very wrong about this situation, but it’s hard to think in the confusion.

And then a lower-ranking cult member that they’d arranged to check on them after the ceremony (an honor, to see their new spirit forms and maybe deal with their bodies if they were still there after the transformation) opens the door to the room. And for all of the new skeksis AND urRu, a couple of things become very clear: 1) one of the ways in which they’re different from humans is their fangs, and 2) they need that guy’s blood. Basically a feeding frenzy ensues, and this is when they all learn about paired injuries and paired deaths, and those two pairs whose names I forget die. Exsanguinated by their former cult fellows. Kind of fucked but this is a vampire AU babey.

Now, after this whole shitshow, the 32 remaining vampires are a lot calmer and they’re able to figure out that they’re halves of the URSKEKs. One set of halves (the urRu) is of the opinion that they all represent a horrible failure of the ceremony (they were compelled to tear into that guy like wild animals), while the skeksis halves immediately start insisting that it went right or even better than planned (they’re now above humans and can consume them like any other meat animal). The difference of opinion corresponds to some subtle physical differences between the two as well.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[natimiles]

SO LIKE... I'm a hoe for Theo and I will forever love his route even though I wish the story wasn't squeezed to death by a month. 😞

I wanna take a moment to to adore the fact that this grumpy ass guard dog has so much little brother energy I can't help, but scream (IRL I will be too scared too, but he's really funny when he's being bullied I'm sorry). I mean irl I'll probably bite his hand and tell him to leave me tf alone, but God he's adorable and scary with his older brother. I still feel heartbroken though because of... Well backstory reasons (if you know you know).

Alsoo.... I adore his frenemy... Probably bc he's my frenemy. My God I have such a love-hate feeling with this flirty mfer it's not even funny. I did legit hate him at first though and I still kinda do especially because he does creep me out a little with his flirting like... I get it's an act for the most part, but much like he hates how unreadable Dazai is, I honestly have a hard time reading him too. Still though, I feel really heartbroken for this dork. Yet I also wanna smack him in the face with a broom bc holy shit he needs a reality check. Like SIR this is not okay... Also I love the way this guy just had this pouty face, kinda makes me wanna bully him a little (even though I'll probably be to scared to bully him just like with Theo). Irl I'll probably absolutely hide from him though like the flag and absolutely wouldn't tolerate his attitude (I know he'll actually be understanding, but that'll take a long time to believe...) I feel bad, but like that's the honest truth.

I wanna befriend Issac, but I'll probably be scared to approach him. I mean we probably won't have much in common bc I'm anime/ manga/art-ish hoe, but something about him makes me wanna befriend him (possibly marry him)? He just looks so friend SHAPED even though he hates it...

Also I hc Levi with gifted kid burnout (totally not bc I'm sorta projecting myself onto him). Bro undervalues himself way too much... I was also gonna add that IRL every brother in the game will probably hate me solely bc I absolutely have no confidence and I rather hide especially to due the fact that I'll be far from home. 💀 I also probably be too scared to talk to Levi and Mammon even though I love them very much. Idk as much as I like tsun-tsun, I genuinely be to dense to understand and absolutely to sensitive to the shit they'll say.

Sill though, Levi is an mood and if I manage to not be... A weirdo, I'll probably get along with him the most ( even though he'll be yelling at me to finish the fucking manga properly). Mammon though... I love this dumbass, I truly do, but I swear we'll drive each other insane.

Also adore Levi when he's cocky (even if it'll start sting), I just swoon over a character who lost his confidence finally getting it. It's just.... Amazing. Mammon being the big bro... 😭 Oh how my heart burst.

YES! Let’s all agree that ONE MONTH IS TOO SHORT! At least Ikesen MC had 3 months before deciding to stay in the past. It bugs me that we have such a short time with them. I understand they didn’t want really long routes or whatever, but... damn Cybird, ONE MONTH? But it’s still better than ELEVEN DAYS, right? Yes, I’m talking TO YOU, Mystic Messenger.

HASIUEHASIUEHAS, he calls us hondje but he is such a puppy! Like Vincent just goes “Be nice, Theo. Shut it, Theo” and he just “Fine, Broer…” HIUSAHEAUISHESAIUH. But yeah, I know! It’s been a while, but I played his routes... Interlude helped a little to remember some things. And damn… it’s a lot to take in and develop IN ONE MONTH, CYBIRD! For both of them, really. I hate Vincent’s ending Irl I’d probably not get too close to Theo but not because he scares me, but because he’s rude HASIEHASIUE.

I. LOVE. ARTHUR. This bitch has so many issues. He’s another puppy that just wants (and needs) to be loved 🥹 And I love their relationship! Frenemies? Yes! Besties? Yes! Best wingmans for each other? Yes! LOVERS? FUCKING YES! I wanna smack his face with my face. Or with Theo’s face, whoever is closer, HASIUEHASUIEHSA. But even if it's a platonic relationship, Arthur is such a good friend. He really cares for others… He’s the one who helps Theo in Interlude and it’s precious 🥹

Me and Isaac don’t have anything in common. Would that stop me? Absolutely not. Just come here and let me love you, you awkward hedgehog! I LIVE TO LOVE SHY MEN! He would be a good friend too! If he considers you a friend, it means so much to him! But I’d rather marry him, HAISUEHASUIHESA. And we would bond over the things we like, even if they’re so different. I like the stars, but I don’t know much about them, so he could teach me. And I could tell him about all my favorite animes, mangas and games. 

Ooooh! I searched for it and… I can totally see Levi! People tend to think Satan is the only one that’s actually smart, but they all are smart in their own ways. I feel Levi is not appreciated enough, even in-game. Sometimes he’s there just to be funny and to be the awkward, shy guy. My baby doesn’t deserve that, he deserves so much love. Also, I think Mammon totally has ADHD. He’s good with math, as long as you explain it to him as if you were talking about money (his hyperfocus). Belphie is smart too, he sleeps in every class and he still has good grades. 

Irl I’d get closer to Levi and Beel first. I love cooking, so Beel would love me quickly. I wouldn’t help Belphie because I’d obey Lucifer and stay away from the attic, HAISEHASIUEHSA. Mammon is the type of friend I could have and that I would want to kill every 2 seconds, but I couldn’t leave him alone or he’d get in trouble and get himself killed. But out of everyone, I think Solomon is more the type of friend I usually have? I don’t know why though, I just have this feeling about him, AHSIEUHASUIEHSA.

I LIVE FOR A COCKY AND CONFIDENT LEVI! Gimme moooooore! I was looking at some random screenshots I have here and I found one of him, I think it’s from that beach Devilgram. The one we have an animation from him… I don’t know the name, HAIUEHASUIEHSA. But the point is: Levi can be assertive and confident when he really wants (or needs) to!

Ignore the awful quality. I had to play at the lowest quality because my phone wasn't the best at the time, AHSIUEHSA.

[sayruq]

Lmao I saw one of those weirdos compile a big list of “proof that Amb*r was the abuser this whole time” and it included stuff like:

-“She was upset and crying that he got out of control drunk and was rude to her friends, which ruined her birthday party. This is textbook emotional abuse.”

-Pictures from her Instagram of her kickboxing class, a very popular type of exercise class

-Jason Momoa making jokes about her character Mera being able to kick his ass, which apparently means Amb*r also abused him???

-Her sister said they used to roughhouse as kids, so she abused the sister as well

-“Here’s irrefutablee proof that bi whore was fucking the entire 2016 Dallas Cowboys and all the cheerleaders too because she tweeted a selfie with some of the players”

-talking about burning your wife Alive and raping her corpse, and calling your wife and her friends actual slurs is totally fine, but calling an abuse rep alcoholic has-been a “fat old loser” is emotional abuse

-“She have a polite smile to the judge when she walked in, this is proof she’s lying because she wouldn’t be capable of smiling if she really was traumatized. I know this because I got my PhD in body language studies five minutes ago.”

I’m going to start biting people I stg.

its actually insane. i saw a long thread of how she's supposedly acting to cover up her tracks and one of the videos was amber briefly smiling while someone handed her something. there was a viral tweet about how she was looking at her nails while depp's therapist talks about diagnosing amber with bpd. i would have done worse if someone diagnosed me with an illness before they even met me after being hired by my abusive ex-husband.

everything she does is twisted to prove that she's this evil monster from the suits she wears to putting on glasses at the same time at depp because they were both looking evidence. its completely unhinged. even outspoken feminists are steering clear which is so disappointing. this case is more important than people realise. he is suing her for defamation in an op-ed that doesn't mention him. amber being punished for merely alluding it's startingto him. if this becomes precedent (and it's start to look that way with his bff marilyn manson suing evan rachel wood) victims can't even talk about their experiences vaguely without backlash.

we're literally watching all the progress we made in terms of abuse survivors being rolled back. i didn't realise it until i saw a big make up brand joining in. mind you johnny depp has lost 2 court cases, he is being sued by a crew member, his decades of violent outbursts are public, and yet the milano still joined in the witch hunt as if they knew they wouldn't receive blowback from the public.

i tried to console myself by thinking about how de*p's people use bot farms and that if people truly genuinely cared about him he wouldn't have been in one flop after another. but the truth is a lot of people hate women and this gives them the perfect chance to attack abuse victims and ensure that every woman who steps forwards is guaranteed to get witch hunted. no wonder marilyn manson has began using the same technique.

[hhazyheavenss]

Here with a new oneshot, I couldn't come up with anything, so this is a prompt I found off pinterest. The prompt is from 1-800-393-eyes on tumblr. This is written in first person. It takes place in an airport au.

Word count: 1059

Gojo Satoru x Reader

This morning has been crazy enough. I've slept through my alarms, forgot to pack my stuff. Having to rush through my daily routine, then I had to pack my luggage. Which took up most my time, forgetting to have breakfast. Which I ended up in the cold outside of my apartment calling any taxi I could reach. The taxi arrives, then of course there had to be traffic. Everything was pushing me to my tipping point. Luckily, I got to the airport, still in a terrible mood. I manage to arrive just minutes before my flight to take off.

Time passes, I've already got through security and out of boredom I put my headphones on and started listening to music. I was zoning out on seats, with time cracking time. Suddenly, a white-haired weirdo bumps into me, spilling hot coffee all over me. When I tell you was incredibly mad. It was like a cyclone taking over my emotions and thoughts toward this idiot.

"Omg you got your coffee all of me!" I snapped. "No wonder you can't see, who tf wears sunglasses inside?"

"Didn't see you there, you know since you're so short." He retorted.

Then that dick head walked off. I was furious that guy just walk past me like that. But then I thought to myself how he couldn't even apologize for simply spilling his drink on me. The heat from the coffee was irritating me. I wasn't gonna let that guy piss me off even more, I speed to the closest bathroom I could find. I slipped into a stall, where was trying to get most of coffee out of my track suit pants. Which luck ran out on me, it wasn't working. Switching into some spare pants I could find (totally ruining the outfit). I finally checked the time and OMG my flight was about to take off.

I took off faster than the actual plane, to get to my flight. I was able to make it just in time. Making my way to my seat, not paying any attention to my surrounding. Even tho nothing couldn't relieve me from my anger from pervious events, I was just satisfied that I got the window seat. Putting a random playlist on that could entertain me while the more people rushed in. By being taken in by the music and looking out the window waiting, I didn't take any notice in the familiar white-hair fool sitting next to me.

"Oh, look who it is." He smirked.

Jesus Christ, I said to myself. Looking at the idiot that was sitting next to me.

"What no responses?" He continued. "I could've sworn you had a lot to say before."

Just looking at this guy was infuriating enough. I felt at any moment I would tick off like a ticking time bomb. Just the smirk on this man's face was as annoying as his entire personality.

"Hmm I know that I'm handsome, but I would've never thought I would leave a gorgeous woman like yourself speechless." He sneered.

"Oh, as if." I responded. "Your ego is as terrible as you look."

"If that's your way of flirting with a guy, I have to say it's as terrible as your clothing choice." He remarked.

It was like someone just punched me in the voice box with that remark. There was nothing I could reply to that, all I did was side-eyed the roach next to me. This guy was the reason on why I had to change my pants. Then I realised to myself that this flight is 11 hours long. My world stopped as I had to sit to the human version of the annoying orange on a 11-hour flight. I couldn't. I really couldn't. But as well I didn't have any real reason to sit somewhere else.

"Since we're going to be on this flight for a while, we should try and get along and the name's is Satoru." Satoru chimed.

This was going to be a long flight so might as well 'try' and get along.

"I'm [your name]." I huffed.

As I left the music to consume my thoughts with the white-haired idiot still annoying me. Time passes, we had our meals, where Satoru continues to annoy me. I tried my best to ignore him. What took up my time the most was the scenery I could see out the window. As time got later the clouds outside reminded me of water colour painting. I smiled slightly to myself.

Satoru took notice of the smile, smiling to himself too. It reached night, which I could notice that people were resting now. My eyes drooped but trying to stay awake to the best of my ability. I looked over to see Satoru was still awake, but he has quiet down. The cringe hallmark movies took his attention. There I took notice of his alluring blue eyes like crystalized minerals. The way his white as snow hair and pale cleared skin caught my attention. I had to admit he is very attractive. He seems like a model with his looks. If he wasn't then I would question him a lot.

"I know you're looking at me." He grinned. "To think you stopped talking to me just to stare at me."

There I've been caught staring at him.

"What no, I'm looking for something." I snapped.

"Yeah right." Satoru sneered. "I know you're lying."

His smirk was simply mocking me. Just the look on him, even tho he was right about me looking at him doesn’t mean anything.

"I am not, I've lost my phone." I tried to cover it up.

"It's in your hand." Having a deadpan face with his response.

Geez I couldn't even come up with a good enough lie. He was simply entertained with my misery. The bickering between us continues through the night. Mostly with me suffering and him being entertained. As the night drew longer, I was fighting battles of sleep, eyes slowly closing. I finally gave up and fell asleep. As I slept, my body was slowly rest towards the blue-eyed bastard. I rested on Satoru's shoulder without my own knowledge.

Satoru noticed my head on his shoulder. He didn't even bother to push me off. He let me rest, to which he smiled to himself.

I hope u enjoyed. I honestly don't know how to write banter, but I'll learn. This longer than other oneshot.

[trinrose3]

As a fat person myself, I have always loved your depiction of Abigail and Amelia. You make them look beautiful, you make them feel desirable, you make them feel worthy of being loved and I can’t tell you how much that means to me as someone who was always told I was ugly and I’d never find a partner because I was fat.

I never once felt you were fetishizing Abigail and Amelia. Yes, they’re sexy but it in no way comes off as a fetish. (And yes, 100% like you said, actual fetish art is SO MUCH worse)

I’m sorry if putting my two cents is inappropriate, it just made me kinda heated to see Anon give you shit on your art when your plus size rep with Abigail and Amelia means so much to me.

Thank you queen 🥺💖! I actually really appreciate the addition, I had to confirm with a friend that they were just being a weirdo, so it’s nice to see another person calling them out.

Anon was giving heavy troll vibes but I thought I’d give them a chance to explain but they couldn’t lmao. Anyways they got blocked so we don’t have to worry about them again hopefully lol

Sorry that y’all had to see that, I get a bit petty sometimes.

But for real tho, if I do anything that actually DOES start to seem like it’s being fetishized I’ll take the actual criticism! It’s just really obvious when it’s from a troll lol.

As someone who struggled (and struggles) with finding good representation for people like me i totally get how frustrating and disappointing it feels to see people give shitty portrayals of people like you. It really does mean so much to me that people find comfort in my art and characters! Sometimes I get a little down on myself and a little annoyed by being a “small” artist but then I remember all the messages and asks and comments I get from various people telling me how happy my art makes them and it is SUCH a good feeling. Like that in it of itself makes me want to keep going and keep posting! I literally can’t describe the amount of joy I feel from it!

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog, Connichi 2023!

Part 1 - Thursday & Friday

As the Connichi moved from Kassel to Wiesbaden it was quite a trip for me, double the travel distance, a city I don't know and lots of stuff to happen.

I decided to write about my trip there for myself to cover some events, give some insights and share the memories. Includes phone snapshots, some sketches for situations I was in aaaand maybe some previews for photoshootings ;>

Thursday: arrival, food, traveling

Friday: First con day, cospay, food, mental health stuff

Thursday, 31. August 2023

As said I had to travel to Wiesbaden, I went by car. The road on its own was mainly highway but before I got to the highway I got stuck in traffic for almost 1 hour. After 5 hours of traveling alone on bad mental health I arrived in Wiesbaden before my friends did and waited for them

Apparently I looked rather pitiful and was approached by some weirdo who tried to give me candy and cigarettes and was super offended by me telling them off. I'm not used to people trying to prey on me but urgh, that was creepy af.

After my friends arrived I ordered my first Starbucks (it was an almond chai latte) as I didn't have anything to eat aside my breakfast that day.

We walked around in the city a bit and ended up in the indian restaurant I had researched before and I had some really delicious paneer with Naan bread and a Mango Cheesecake.

But ... Diamy and I decided to go for "medium" spicy and I underestimated it... I .... cried :'D

We later on found a super cute bakery and @adragonstale and I were totally in awe about the pastries they had.

I'm glad my friends arrived the same day, they really saved my mood.

Friday, 1. September 2023 - First Convention day

As the first day starts later on I decided to get out into the city as past!Allen and put on the Nea wig later on.

We walked a bit through the city, did some window shopping and I was able to share my wisdom about food and nutrition, I am such a nerd about it. Also sightseeing and just being casual about everything.

After that we decided to get changed and get into our convention attire.

The con itself... dunno. I was missing a whole bunch of publishers as there was only two bigger ones and 1-2 smaller ones, the other big ones weren't there, the Matsuri was lovelessly showed behind a construction fence, the artist alley was bigger, yes, but badly ventilated on friday that even I - who is freezing all the time - felt like I would be melting on the spot. Merch room was not even tempting for me I rushed through it, the other rooms were.. well... indoor photo shoot corners, workshops and all that. The invited guests all no names to me, therefore I skipped on the program. You didn't even have any anime series or movies airing at the con (which was a usual thing before) you had to leave the con and pay extra if you wanted to see old anime movies. Well. It wasn't my cup of tea aside the fact I think the building has no personality, I don't like those soulless new constructed modern styled bricks of congress halls. Yes you had the option to book photo spots in two older buildings BUT the slots were taken super fast and it was one location on Saturday, the other on the Sunday and .. well.. in Kassel you had a ton of old buildings you could visit. Wiesbaden has some nice spots too but things like the park being full of duck poop, drug addicts and garbage to begin with didn't help much.

During the con I .. somehow spiraled into the the now called "Anxiety Chihuahua" state. I met some D.gray-man cosplayers and was actually recognized as Nea BUT got told there would be a group meeting the day after and that it was for an existing group (not noticing it was ... my ... group ... ) and my head was all like "oh god now WHAT IF" and that made me sweaty, anxious and my mood in the end was horrible. To explain that: in my cosplay past I was part of some groups but in the end was ignored or replaced by people who were thinner or prettier than me, even when we had special outfits and the other cosplayer didn't have those outfits or even when I went to a certain event for that exact group ... it's past wounds. As my mental health was already a bit cracked it was easy for me to snap and get down.

I was super awkward and ran around like crazy, almost yelled at that one group that they were super cool and that i adore their costumes and just loudly said that I am just a fool and will be gone now. On the next day they told me they saw me earlier but I was too fast to approach. Uhm, yeah. Hyper anxiety clown here. Of course I didn't take much photos with any Cosplayers as I was too nervous which didn't help as I wanted some memories of course.

In the end it got that bad that as we went out for food that day I just stood there "I don't want any, I hate everything"; but I had 30k steps done and just a few snacks therefore... I needed something. Too little food and water makes the brain sad too and I think that added to my anxiety getting worse.

In the end we stopped at a small thai restaurant and my friends had to order for me as I totally refused everything. I knew it was my health being bad and I told them "just order a thing, I will pay. Just no bread". And @adragonstale got me tofu curry with rice (instead of bread) it was warm comforting food. Thank you again. I felt really better after that.

Even that much better that we did some photos of me as Nea!

And we discovered Wiesbaden has a wild population of parrots, they nearly flew into my face while we took pics.

I went back to my car after that and arrived in time for the Matsuri fireworks.

I was super beat that day after two quite exhausting days and hoped the main day would be better as the two prior. It was about time to debut Allen, and to face my fear with the group meeting and my past cosplay trauma.

Lil concluding car selfie aka what if Nea would steal Allen's glasses.

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S10

Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?

Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.

— — —

Hiiiiiii guuuyys. So something new has happened, here in the tenth season. Her name is Karen Hall. Who is Karen Hall? Well I've looked into this: a young writer Alan Alda met in a workshop he was teaching, was like, uh, you rock totally, pulls a Daniel Craig on James Bond, and gets M*A*S*H to hire her for last season's ‘Father’s Day’ (none for Margaret's dad with left beef). This season, she’s got four more scripts, and her name is on every episode as the series' new story editor. I kept thinking I was seeing “Karen Han” and going, well of course Karen would freak this, and the thing is that sentence is still right: Karen freaks this. Season 10!!!! My favorite season since Season 6?? Itself my favorite since Seasons 2-3??

And just one more (!) after this, oh my gOD....

M*A*S*H - Season 10 Recommended sequence

10x01-02 ’That’s Show Biz: Parts 1 and 2’ - A U.S.O. troupe gets stuck at the MASH for a couple days, and unlike all the other two-parters they’ve done, this one really uses the pace of having a full hour, seeding so many elliptical details and unexplained behaviors that they are in no hurry to answer just yet. It gives these two an intriguing depth. Also: former burlesque dancer played by GWEN VERDON. Aah-aah-aaaah!!

10x06 ‘Wheelers and Dealers’ - I’m including this one for two reasons. 1) Rizzo, whom I don’t believe I’ve featured yet, and when he’s in the pocket, boy does this raspy Bayou weirdo make me laugh. And 2), I *think* this is gonna prove the last big blow-out finale of BJ being such a jerk to everyone over his family, and we definitely should go out with the bang that is Margaret tearing into him with a perfect diatribe that’s been two seasons coming. Cathartic! And then this seemingly clears the way to shift gears, or change roads, whatever episode-apt vehicle metaphor you want, and set us now humming along the rest of this season with pretty much exactly the BJ I would have expected we’d have at this point when I was in Season 5 or 6: tall mid-tempo California-goofy sweetie who mostly does actually like other people, including his Army-issued boyfriend.

10x07 ‘Communication Breakdown’ - Like, to wit: very next episode, BJ’s slow adorable amazed grin to the mess ceiling at Charles showing his whole ass over the PA (foreshadowing) had me, confusingly, going: [Trapper voice] Hawkeye, I think I’m in love. It’s another Karen/Alan co-pro, baby, and Season 10 is now really kicking OFF.

10x10 ‘’Twas the Day After Christmas’ - Two visiting Englishmen straight out of WWI Britfluence Colonel Potter into adopting their topsy-turvy Boxing Day tradition of having the enlisted ranks swap roles with the officers, and oho, are they also All SO COLD about it, and oho are they doing [short shaky exhale] this:

10x10 you mean 10/10?

10x11 ‘Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead’ - The ‘Written & Directed By Alan Alda’ contribution this season is this Distant Voices, Still Lives ass title (affectionate) heading the episode where Klinger has a fever and is seeing ghosts. HIGH degree of difficulty on this one, my good friend, and for the first part I was like, maybe?, and then we get to the dead soldier hanging out with Margaret in Furious & Marvelous mode, and then the best drinking scene this show has ever done. The pitchest black wry comedy, mostly just gutting. Mostly just exquisite.

10x12 ‘The Birthday Girls’ - Outrageously boyfriends Hawkeye & BJ are trying to become cow fathers, while Margaret & Klinger finally get their mandated bond in adverse conditions outside of camp arc and are like, we have been waiting for your call. Riotous and sweet with an ass script that won’t quit, it's Karen Hall’s ‘The Birthday Girls’, [opening locket meme] my Beloved. ❤️

10x13 ‘Blood and Guts’ - The fact that the villain is a misleading writer is honestly so tasty for this show to do.

10x14 ‘A Holy Mess’ - A riveting turn that features a sort of semantic legal battle around religious sanctuary (COOL), but above all, this is an episode about eggs. Talking about eggs, thinking about eggs, the consuming drama of how the eggs will prepared....this is what I meant about riveting.

10x17 ‘Where There’s a Will, There’s a War’ - Sorry to end a second season list in a row with an aid station episode (and third season I've done this overall), but just, my GOD, take this—

Charles: “I hope you manage to stay beautiful until Pierce gets back to see you.” BJ, sudden quiet dread: “Back from where?”

and go, go!!!!

Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • Season 6 • Season 7 • Season 8 • Season 9 • Season 10 • To be continued

#M*A*S*H hours

[insideoutstory]

1986 is Batshit

Eddie Munson x FOC x Steve Harrington

summary: Patching up Steve in the Upside Down, Eddie feels like this whole thing is a hallucination. Maybe he’s the one with rabies.

warnings: fluff, blood, descriptions of steve’s injuries as displayed in 4.07, established Steve x OC, implied polyamory

A/N: A future look into the fourth installment of Inside Out. I was hoarding this for myself as a test scene, but everyone has Eddie feels and a few people have asked. First installment is complete with second installment in progress! 

[ Incidentally my OC is also named Christine so...if you’re new here, sorry lol ]

-----

It was supposed to be his year. 

The moment the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve, Eddie Munson had known it was his year: 1986. This was the year it worked out. This was the year that everything changed. Instead—well, no—not instead. It wasn’t like he was wrong. Things had definitely changed, and they were definitely changed forever and fucking always; it just wasn’t the change he’d been angling for. 

This year—his third senior year—was supposed to be the year that he graduated and left the shithole that was Hawkins, Indiana behind. He’d scrape by in his classes, run the most badass D&D campaign the school had ever or would ever see, play a few shows with his band, and maybe—just maybe—see a little action outside of his right hand. He wasn’t looking to lock himself into a relationship or anything, but it would be nice to get some attention from someone who wasn’t angling for a discount on their drugs. 

Maybe that was his downfall. He should’ve known it was too good to be true when Chrissy Fucking Cunningham asked to come by his place after the game. She’d been sweet, she’d been nice, she’d been fucking gold—right up until she’d levitated into the air and had her eyes sucked out. 

He’d wished that things were going to change, but if he’d known that “change” meant being suspected of murder, going on the lam, being traumatized by spell-casting monsters from another dimension, and then diving headfirst into that dimension with the weirdest bunch of ragtag teens he could be pressed to imagine… 

Yeah, maybe he wouldn’t have wished so hard. 

“Shit, fuck, motherfucking shit—” 

“Eddie,” Robin hissed, “less cursing, more running!” 

She passed him, diving headlong into the dark, spooky trees that made up the dark, spooky forest and leaping over the dark, spooky tendrils of creeping vines on the ground. Eddie gracelessly jumped over another just as it wiggled, making him squeal another curse and pick up the pace. The whole thing was a fucking nightmare. 

He brought up the rear of the group, letting everyone else make the important decisions like where to run, when to hide, and what they were gonna do next. He didn’t feel qualified to make any of those calls. Then again, if you’d asked him yesterday, he wouldn’t feel like any of his companions were qualified either. 

Robin Buckley: a kindred weirdo, hypothetically. She was at the opposite end of the band kid spectrum, with her trumpet and dorky marching band uniform. She didn’t exactly conform, but even Eddie knew she was an oddball, no matter how smart she was. 

Nancy Wheeler: a certified princess at Hawkins High. She wasn’t the same kind of popular as Chrissy Cunningham—Nancy ran the newspaper instead of the cheer squad—but she was still an all-star, extra-curricular, brown-nosing prep, dressed head to toe in pink and frills. 

Steve Harrington: somehow even worse. Eddie had always seen him as the epitome of a washed-up jock, an airhead who’d staked through high school on nothing but his good looks and charisma, then gone on to work a boring retail job where he had no prospects and no future. 

Christine Walcott: a total nerd, which…wasn’t really an insult, coming from Eddie. Christine was alright. After he’d recruited Henderson for Hellfire, befriending her had come naturally. At the very least, he respected the shit out of her. He knew that she was smart, tough, hard to scare. She’d even put Billy Hargrove in the hospital, if the rumors were true. Of the five of them, Eddie imagined Christine as the best candidate to handle the situation—fighting monsters, solving mysteries, saving the world—but somehow, here he was marching right behind her. 

 Eddie “The Freak” Munson: outcast, drug dealer, and weirdo extraordinaire. He drove a piece of crap van and was one bad grade away from becoming a high school dropout, his only talents playing the guitar, rolling a solid joint, and running away from his problems. He was getting real good at that. 

Even so, he was the last person to reach Skull Rock—or whatever he was supposed to call the version of Skull Rock in this parallel dimension. The others were standing in a circle, already deep in conversation about things he could barely comprehend. 

“I don’t like this,” Nancy was saying as she shook her head. “Why wouldn’t they just attack us?” 

“Excuse me?” Steve wheezed on Eddie’s right, hands clutching the gaping wound in his side where he’d been bitten. “You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking.” 

“No, she’s right,” Christine said from Steve’s other side. “The first wave attacked us, but the second—they were just sitting there in front of the gate. They easily could have finished us off, but instead it’s like—like they were just trying to stop us from leaving.” 

“Is that really bad?” Eddie asked. “Because like—that sounds really fucking bad.” 

“Well, they’re a hive mind,” Robin offered. “You said the Demodogs would listen to the Mind Flayer right? So if the—the Demobats or whatever called off their attack—” 

“Then someone told them to,” Nancy finished, nodding along. “Someone like Vecna.” 

“Which means he knows we’re here,” Christine added, “and he doesn’t want anyone killing us before he gets to us himself.” 

“Great,” scoffed Steve. “That’s real comforting. Thanks.” 

Eddie gulped, swallowing a pitiful whimper of cowardice. He should’ve stayed in the fucking boat. At least being arrested had a higher survival rate than rabies from mutated bat attacks. 

“Okay, one thing at a time.” Nancy shook her head again and Eddie could practically see her step into manager-mode. “We can only hide here for so long, and we’re going to need supplies: weapons, first aid—” 

“Hi, can we skip to the part where we find another way out?” Robin asked. 

 “We don’t know if there is another way out.” 

“But we can find out. We can do the compass thing like Dustin, right, Chrissy?” 

“Sure, if we had a compass.” 

“I thought you did have a compass.” 

“Yeah, Robin, in my bag, which I left on the boat when I dove into the lake!” 

“…well, that seems like an oversight.” 

“Robin, I swear to God—” 

The argument ended abruptly as Steve’s legs buckled. Eddie and Christine both dove to catch him, each grabbing one arm to keep him upright. Steve swayed heavily on his bare feet, barely able to keep his eyes open even as he complained. 

“M’fine. Sorry, I—it’s fine—” 

“Shut up, Steve,” Christine snapped. “Eddie—” 

“Yeah, I got him.” 

Together they hauled Steve across the clearing, towing him toward the rocks where he could sit down and catch his breath. He groaned as he leaned against the largest boulder and Christine began to fret over his wounds. Eddie tried to scoot back to give them some privacy, but in the cave-like alcove of Skull Rock, there wasn’t a lot of space. He sat back on his heels as Christine ghosted her hands over Harrington’s chest, slick with sweat, lake water, and blood. 

“Huh,” Steve mumbled, his eyes closed, but his lips tugging into a smirk. “Déjà vu, huh?” 

Christine glared at him. “No. You weren’t bleeding out last time.” “Yeah, but I was definitely shirtless.” 

Eddie wrinkled his nose and scooted a few feet further away. “Gross, dude.” 

“Sorry,” Christine apologized on his behalf. “He gets like this when he’s scared.” 

“I’m not scared,” Steve argued. “Seriously, Chris, I’m fine. I just needed to—ow! Ow, ow, ow—” 

“Sorry!” 

 He hissed in pain as her fingers brushed his side, where he’d gotten the brunt of the bites. Even at a distance, Eddie could tell that it was far from fine. More than bite marks, Steve had gouges of flesh missing from his abdomen, small chunks ripped away by tiny fangs. The bleeding was slowing down, but Eddie had a feeling that wasn’t as promising as it should have been; he’d already lost a lot of blood. 

Christine peeled off her flannel shirt, hurriedly folding it into a long strip. “Eddie, can you lift him up?” 

“Huh? Oh—yeah, I—sure.” 

He crawled over to Harrington’s side, reached out, then hesitated and pulled his hand back. His eyes darted from spot to spot, trying to figure out the best way to grab him without making things worse, his fingers twitching anxiously through the air. 

“Dude, I’m fine,” Steve insisted. His eyes were still clenched closed, but he lifted his right arm and sat up as much as he could. “I don’t need—” 

“Steve,” Christine repeated sternly. “Shut up.” 

Eddie cocked his head to the side with an uneasy laugh. “You heard her, man.” 

He pulled Steve’s arm around his shoulders, then slipped his own arm behind Steve’s back, taking care not to aggravate the harsh scratches where he’d been dragged across the ground. He eased Steve up to his knees, trying to support the bulk of his weight without actually having to touch him. Steve didn’t seem to have that problem. His fingers dug into Eddie’s shoulder, his other hand clutching at Eddie’s to keep him balanced. 

Christine knelt in front of them, looking up with hesitant eyes. “You ready?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said through clenched teeth. “Yeah, just do it.” 

She bit her lip, but obliged. Gently as she could, she pressed the thickest folds of the fabric against Steve’s side, then wrapped her arms around him to tie it. Steve let out a low groan, tipping his head back to hide the way his face screwed up in pain. Eddie squeezed his hand in his best attempt at support. 

“You good, dude?” 

“Super,” Steve said breathlessly. “I’m—yup, good.” 

He let go of Eddie’s hand to push his hair out of his face. Eddie made sure to keep watching him, monitoring his face for signs of discomfort as Christine rushed to tie off the cuffs of the shirt. She tucked the last few inches of sleeve into the band of Steve’s pants, then gently patted him on the chest. 

“Okay, done. You did good. It’s okay.” 

The words caused Steve to sag in Eddie’s grip, and he quickly lowered them both back to the ground. Eddie slipped his arms from Steve’s torso and wiped his hands on his ripped jeans, trying to erase the feeling of Steve’s sweat. Then, at a loss, he reached out to ruffle Steve’s hair. 

“Chin up, Harrington. You made it.” 

Steve tried to smack Eddie’s hand away, but the response was so sluggish that he missed completely. 

“Munson, you touch my hair again, I bite your head off next.” 

Eddie snorted and moved to sit against the opposite wall. Christine was still lingering in front of Steve, her fingers tracing through the patch of hair on his chest, unable to meet his eye. Eddie knew he should probably get up and move, give them a little bit of privacy, but before he could summon the energy, Christine was whispering. 

“Just hang on a little longer, okay?” she told Steve in a soothing voice. “We’ll figure this out and…and we’ll get you back.” 

“I know you will.” Steve gave her a soft smile. “Seriously, Chris. I’m not worried. I’m fi—” 

“Don’t say you’re fine. Because if—if you say you’re fine and then you’re not fine, I—Steve, I can’t do that.” 

“Now you sound like Max.” 

“Well…what if she’s right?” Her voice broke as she finally looked up at Steve. “We’ve been fighting this thing for years, and every time it’s close call after close call. We…we’re not gonna keep getting lucky. Eventually…eventually someone’s not coming back.” 

“Hey.” Steve cupped her cheek, forcing her to hold his gaze. “You don’t know that. I mean, I’m a pretty lucky guy. I scored you, right?” 

“Steve—” 

“I mean it. We’ve been through a lot of shit, but…I don’t know. I feel like we’ve got more shit to go through, like—okay, that doesn’t sound good when I say it like that, but I mean—” 

Christine leaned forward, catching him in a kiss and silencing the rest of his explanation. Steve sighed in content, his fingers sliding from her chin back into her hair. 

Eddie quickly averted his eyes. Quietly as he could, he folded his arms on his knees and buried his face in his elbow. He felt bad for eavesdropping, but in the small space, even their breathing was impossible to ignore. He could hear it when Steve groaned again, when their lips finally broke apart, when they exchanged quiet I love you’s. He heard Christine sniffle, make some excuse about checking in with Nancy, and then shuffle away into the woods. 

Still, Eddie sat with his face in his arms, trying not to move or draw attention to himself. He felt like he’d trespassed on something he wasn’t supposed to see, which was dumb because Steve and Christine had both known he was there. It wasn’t like he’d snuck in to spy on them. Of course they were comfortable kissing in public. They’d been a thing for like a year, if he remembered right—longer, if all the shit from the rumor mill was true. Eddie was the one being weird about their PDA. 

It was a few minutes before he finally felt comfortable enough to look up again. Christine was long gone, probably outside talking with Nancy and Robin, by the sounds of it. Under the rock, it was just him and Steve—Steve “The Hair” Harrington. He looked a paler, but maybe that was just the contrast to his girlfriend’s red flannel around his stomach. His eyes were closed under the wayward locks of damp hair, and his chest— 

Eddie froze. He wasn’t trying to be weird by staring at the dude’s chest, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t moving. There was just enough ambient light that his skin was shiny with sweat, but it was shiny in a way that wasn’t changing, but it should be changing at least a little bit because his chest should be moving when he was breathing, and if his chest wasn’t moving— 

“Harrington.” Eddie scooted forward across the dirt, cautiously nudging Steve’s foot with his shoe. “Yo, Harrington. You still with me?” 

Steve made a noise of protest. “M’fine.” 

Eddie was so relieved, he flopped right down into the dirt. 

“Dude,” he sighed, grinning up at the boulder above him. “You just scared the fucking shit out of me. Holy shit.” 

Steve had just enough energy to chuckle. Eddie could hear his breath hitch whenever it caused him pain, but Steve just kept laughing. 

Eddie lifted his head to give him a curious look. “Uh…should I ask Buckley if hysterics are a symptom of rabies?” 

“No, no, I’m—ha—I’m good.” 

“O-kay…what’s so funny?” 

“Nothing.” Steve grinned, mopping his hair out of his face again. “I just get a kick out of that: scaring the shit out of Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. Feel like I deserve a badge or something.” 

A week ago, a comment like that from a guy like Steve Harrington would have made Eddie’s blood boil. Now, lying with him in another dimension, at Skull Rock of all places, Eddie’s face split into a wide smile. 

“I’ll do you one better.” With a sudden burst of energy, he hopped to his feet, shrugged off his denim vest, and folded it neatly in half. Steve raised an eyebrow as Eddie sank into a bow at his feet. “I present you with the very shirt off my back, m’lord. A show of gratitude for your bravery, valor and—you know, all that shit.” 

“Wow. I’m honored.” 

Even though Steve’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, it didn’t stop him from accepting the vest. He winced as he sat up again, but waved Eddie off when he moved to help. It took him a few extra seconds to slip his arms through the holes, his muscles stiff and store from the fight, but eventually, he was able to sag back against the stone, vest properly in place over his chest. 

“So?” he asked, holding his hands out for assessment. “How do I look?” 

Eddie considered him. Things had felt a little awkward when Steve started stripping on the boat. It should’ve been better now that he was covered up, but somehow, the vest made him look even more…Eddie wasn’t sure what the right word was. There was also the innate comedy of seeing preppy Steve Harrington sporting a Megadeth patch and heavy metal pins, but again, somehow he pulled it off. With the red flannel and grime and the bruises on his neck, it just made him look… 

“Damn good, Harrington. Metalhead suits you.” 

Steve snorted as Eddie plopped down next to him in the dirt. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind if we ever get out of this shit hole.” 

“Woah, hold on,” said Eddie, looking over in concern. “What happened to ‘I’m fine,’ ‘I’m a lucky guy’?” 

 “Nah,” Steve sighed. “I mean, we’re lucky, but we’re not that lucky. All the bullshit that’s gone on in this town…it’s put her through the wringer. She lost Barb, then she lost El for a while, now she’s lost El and Hopper. She’s been through enough. I don’t want her to worry about me.” 

“…okay, granted, I’ve never done the whole relationship thing, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” 

Steve didn’t reply; no laugh, no arguing, no snappy reply, not even a sigh. He just stared at the ground in front of him, solemn and despondent. 

Eddie watched him, nervously fiddling with the rings on his left hand. He was in no position to give relationship advice. He was probably less qualified to talk about that than he was to discuss the “Upside Down.” But he wasn’t about to leave Harrington hanging either. 

“You know, you and Walcott are good together.” 

Steve lifted his head and, dare Eddie even think it, his eyes looked hopeful. 

“Yeah?” 

“Totally,” Eddie assured him. “Don’t get me wrong; when you two went public, I was clutching my pearls with the rest of ‘em. Even without bringing Wheeler into it, you guys were pushing the envelope of Hawkins cliques. I mean, King Steve? Dating nerdy, little Chrissy—what did that dickhead used to call her?” 

“Psycho Bitch,” Steve supplied. “Yeah, Tommy was a real asshole.” 

“That’s right, Tommy H. What a fucker. Anyway—I remember thinking, ‘How the hell does that work?’ Now, though—now, I get it. The way you guys take care of each other. I guess that’s the upside to fighting bloodthirsty monsters year after year.” 

He smiled cheekily, but Steve didn’t say anything. He was looking at the ground again, pensive this time. 

“You know something?” he said at last, a small smile playing on his lips. “I don’t think it has anything to do with that.” 

Eddie raised a brow. “No?” 

“Nope. I mean—the first time, definitely. Will going missing started a whole bunch of shit that everyone got dragged into and—hell, if that hadn’t happened, I might not have cleaned up my act. But everything after that…” 

The thought fell away as he ran a thumb along his lower lip. Eddie hoped he was reminiscing and not slipping into some kind of coma; he wasn’t prepared for that. 

“Nancy would’ve dumped me either way,” Steve continued. “Even back then I knew she was gunning for Jonathan. That was only a matter of time. And Chris…she still would’ve been there for me. She still would’ve teased me and cheered me up, and I still would’ve gotten twisted over guys like Billy Hargrove flirting with her. Henderson definitely nudged us along when we got stuck on babysitting duty, but…I like to think I would’ve seen it on my own. Eventually. That even without all the monsters and government agents and conspiracy theories, I still could have been the guy she deserves.” 

Steve continued to stare at the ground as he thought that over. It was a few seconds before he noticed Eddie staring at him. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Eddie answered, grinning in disbelief. “Just—dude, did you walk right out of a John Hughes movie or something?” 

“Ah, shut the hell up, Munson.” 

“No, I’m serious. That shit was beautiful. You keep talking like that I might have to kiss you myself.” 

He leaned teasingly close to Steve’s face, happy to sustain a sharp elbow to the ribs in return. At least Steve was still strong enough to hit him. 

“Ow! So, that’s a no?” 

Steve smiled and shook his head. “You gotta talk to Chrissy, man. She calls all the shots.” 

“Figures Walcott’s in charge.” 

“Always.” 

Eddie quirked an eyebrow and stole a glance at Steve out of the corner of his eye. The way the conversation was going, Eddie was starting to worry the guy was delirious from blood loss, but Steve was still breathing. He had his head tipped back again, resting against the wall with his eyes closed, smirking to himself. Eddie could only imagine what sort of fever dreams he was having now, but he decided to leave him to it. 

“I’m gonna check on the girls,” Eddie announced, getting to his feet again. “Don’t die on me, Harrington.” 

“I’ll do my best,” Steve assured him without opening his eyes. 

 Eddie hovered at the edge of the clearing, still watching him. He’d just had a whole-ass conversation with Steve “The Hair” Harrington—a good one. What a fucking trip. 

Shaking his head at himself, he jogged a few steps down the hill toward the girls—only to stop short. Nancy and Robin were both at the tree line, talking in hushed voices and pointing in different directions. Eddie looked left, looked right, but Christine was nowhere to be found. Panic flooded his veins, visions of Chrissy Cunningham’s broken bones flashing before his eyes. Just before he started screaming, Robin caught his eye. She jerked her head back toward Skull Rock, indicating the dark forest behind it. With a half-hearted smile, she turned back to Nancy. 

Eddie clutched his chest, where his heart was still pounding away. He kept having to remind himself that his classmates had done this before; if they weren’t freaking out, he probably didn’t need to freak out. Christine was around here somewhere, probably looking for some alone time to catch her breath and get her worries under control. He could respect that—and he should’ve—but it was hard to think when he could still hear his pulse in his ears. 

 He found her pretty quickly. She’d gone around to the other side of Skull Rock, leaning against the boulder for support. The way her shoulders were shaking, Eddie realized at once that he’d made a mistake. He wanted to backtrack, but Christine had already heard his rustling footsteps. Her head popped up, eyes wide and watery, her cheeks streaked dirt and tears. It almost looked like war paint. 

“Sorry,” Eddie said at once. “I was just—you weren’t—I can go—” 

“It’s fine.” Christine’s voice was thick as she wiped her eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have wandered off. God, I need to pull it together.” 

She was scolding herself, but made no move to leave. Eddie took that as his invitation to stray a little closer. 

“Hey, no judgement from me. My weekend was full of crying. Seriously. That boatshed they found me in? That used to be a regular shed.” 

It didn’t make a lot of sense, but it succeeded in pulling a laugh out of her. Christine carded her hands through her hair, leaning back against the rocks once more. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again. 

 “It’s really—” 

“No, it’s not. You haven’t done this before, but we have, which means we should be working on a plan to get out of here and clear your name, instead of hiding in the woods bawling my eyes out—” 

“Hey.” Eddie ducked down to catch her gaze. “You’re fine, Chrissy. Your eyes are still firmly seated in your skull, I promise you.” 

Christine didn’t appreciate the joke as much as he did. She rolled her eyes in exasperation, but even then, he was pretty sure she was hiding a smirk. 

“What about you?” she asked. 

“Me? I mean, I can still see you, so I assume my eyes—” 

“Not that.” 

She fixed him with a knowing look and Eddie deflated. He sucked his teeth bitterly and folded his arms over his chest. 

“You know, for a rogue, your persuasion modifier is a real bitch.” 

“I’m aware,” Christine replied with a smirk, “and I chose my proficiencies very carefully. It’s not all stealth and perception checks, you know.” 

Eddie clapped a hand over his heart and doubled over, playing up his groan of agony. “God, you’re killing me, Princess. I’m begging you, when we get back, just one—” 

“I’m not coming to Hellfire. Don’t change the subject.” 

He sighed dramatically, letting his head fall back as he spun in circle, trying to dodge the question. He screwed around for a few more seconds, but he knew it was futile. There was something about Christine Walcott that always made him cave. 

“I’ve been worse. Seriously,” he added when she cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know how my life got so fucked up that being stranded in a parallel dimension and hunted by the minions of Vecna and Demogorgon, King of Demons, isn’t the worst day of my fucking life, but…I’ve honestly been worse.” 

He gave her a wry smile and clapped his hands together. The fact was that he did know how his life had gotten fucked up, and it had all started with that visit from Chrissy Cunningham. He wasn’t sure life could get much worse than watching someone die like that and then being accused of murder. 

Eddie didn’t say that out loud, but Christine mirrored his smile in understanding. 

“Still. I’m sorry for botching your spring break.” 

“Right,” Eddie snorted, “well you got arrested, dragged to another dimension, and then bandaged your boyfriend’s precious abs, so…I guess your week isn’t stellar either.” 

“That is true.” 

Both of them laughed—quiet and miserable, but glad for the company. It was unlike anything Eddie had experienced before. He had acquaintances, friends, and he loved his bandmates like brothers, but something about this felt different. It was almost uncomfortable how easily Christine seemed to understand him. At the same time, for someone who’d been ostracized and called a freak their entire life, it was also a sweet relief. 

“Alright,” he said with another performative sigh. “You leave me with no choice.” 

He scanned the forest around them, making sure there was no one nearby. Then he turned back to Christine, screwed up his face, and held his arms out at his sides. 

“…you good?” she asked with a smirk in her voice. 

“Come on, bring it in,” Eddie urged her, “but make it quick. I got a reputation to protect.” 

Her scandalized laugh made it hard for him to keep a straight face. He jiggled his arms, the chains on his cuffs jingling insistently, and was finally rewarded with the sound of footsteps. He tensed as Christine got closer, battling his instinct to cut and run in the face of uncertainty. 

“You’re fucking weird, Munson,” she sighed before pulling him into a hug. 

It was another comment that should have stung, but he was oh so glad it didn’t. The way Christine said it, practically giggling, made Eddie’s chest fill with warmth. Or maybe that was the way she’d snuck her arms under the back of his leather jacket, her forehead pressed into his shoulder. He patted her hair, awkward even though he’d been the one to initiate the hug; he really needed to figure out what his deal was with PDA. 

Eddie was so caught up in his thoughts, it took him a while to notice that Christine was shaking. He looked down in horror, terrified that she’d started crying again, but this time her cheeks were dry. He pried her away from his chest, scanning her head to toe for some sign of distress, when it finally hit him. 

“Shit, Chrissy, you’re freezing.” 

Christine waved off his concern, even as she wrapped her bare arms around her torso. Forfeiting her flannel for Steve left her just in a white camisole and, now that Eddie had the brain to look, her arms were covered in goosebumps. 

“It’s fine, Eddie. Really—no, don’t—” 

He was already shrugging off his leather jacket, taking advantage of his height and long arms when she tried to push it away. He hung it over her head and dodged her defense, forcing the jacket around her shoulders like a grand cape. 

“I’ve got long sleeves anyway,” he assured her. 

“Eddie—” 

“Walcott, I’m counting on you to clear my name. You can’t do that if you die from hypothermia.” 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” 

“I’m a DM, baby. It’s in my nature.” He winked at her, grinning with pride when she averted her eyes. “Come on, Princess. Let’s check on your boyfriend.”

Eddie slung his arm around her shoulders, guiding her through the woods and back toward the main clearing. Both he and Christine ignored the curious looks from Nancy and Robin, turning instead toward the tiny alcove where they’d left Steve. This time, Eddie hung back, watching at a safe distance as Christine ducked out from under his arm and knelt down next to her boyfriend. 

Steve was dozing, but still very much alive. He blinked blearily up at Christine, a tired smile on his face when she poked the denim vest on his chest. Eddie couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he caught Christine’s smile as she shrugged the leather jacket off, only to slide her arms properly through the sleeves. She shuffled to lean her back on the stone next to Steve, tucking her legs up and grabbing Steve’s hand so she could entwine their fingers. After a few more soft words, she nuzzled her head into Steve’s shoulder and both of them closed their eyes. 

It was probably a good idea to take advantage of the brief lull in the action so they could recharge. Eddie thought of doing the same, or else joining in the planning that Nancy and Robin were doing, the way he’d intended to earlier. Instead, he stayed rooted to the spot, running his lips over his knuckles as he looked at the couple before him: Steve “The Hair” Harrington and Christine “Psycho Bitch” Walcott, curled up together in clothes they’d borrowed from Eddie “The Freak” Munson. Maybe Harrington wasn’t the one who was delirious. This whole thing felt like a damn fever dream. 

Eddie let out a long, controlled breath, trying to deny the smile twitching at his lips. Things had definitely changed, and they were definitely changed forever and fucking always. 1986 was kinda batshit.

[ohkate]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thanks to @energievie and @metalheadmickey for the tag love.

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which character from any media would you like to have as a father? Gomez Addams. Totally loyal and loves his family. Devoted to his wife. Rich. Doesn't mind me being a weirdo. In fact, encourages it.

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

This little jerk right here. I mean look at how he's all wrapped up in his mom.

what is your Chinese takeout order? Well, potstickers always. If I could *be* a food, it would be a potsticker. But also, I live in southcoast MA where Chinese food is completely different from everywhere else- and superior I will fight you on that hill- and so this is more complex to answer. Chow mein here is made with what's called 'Fall River' noodles. They are made entirely for this area and are amazing. It's my favorite dish. I've lived all over the country and Chinese food elsewhere is just so shitty.

what's your favourite emoji? I still can't make emojis. : p That's as good as it's getting.

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house? Home theater. I should lie and say library.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly? I Dream of Jeannie. Not really a kids show but I was obsessed with it as a kid. I also liked Punky Brewster.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined? So gifs had to be under 1MB. You kids are spoiled with your 5MB lavishness. So there were a lot of shitty gifs. Tumblr was just better in general. There used to be so many great gay porn gifs. It was awesome. Then the morality police came in and made it less fun for everyone. My tumblr was basically just a history of my fav gay pairings that I brought over from LiveJournal. Don't get me started on LiveJournal.

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself? Bohemian cool girl. She just wakes up like that. I could never pull it off. This dumpster fire takes some work.

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best? I barely know how to drive around my block without using GPS.

what is your favourite piece of art? My favorite artist is Flavio Zarck and my favorite piece is THIS. He makes creepy looking sculptures out of scrap metal. He also did a series on drawings made by by people suffering from severe mental health issues like paranoid schizophrenia that was really interesting.

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like? It looks like a can of Coca Cola. I should drink more water. If only to surprise my kidneys every once in a while.

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave? Ugh where do I start. I unapologetically love the Cinderella story where someone saves the other, or you find out later one is rich or a prince or whatever. I love hurt/comfort....like serious abuse where the other person helps the other recover and they fall in love. I love the 'pretending to be together for x reason but end up falling in love' trope. I also love the ABO 'oh no i've gone into heat! And my low key soulmate just happens to be here. Whatever will I do?!" trope.

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it? Workbag with laptop. Probably just some errant tampons that somehow have come unwrapped.

if you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be? Lip for sure. I think Mickey would just wreck Lip. I love the episode where they go to shoot up the gentrified store together and Lip seems intimidated by Mickey. And Mickey was taking out all his anger for Ian on Lip. Mickey looked so hot. There was a slight sexual tension in that scene.

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did? Like @energievie said, Gallavich taught me the joys of AUs. I love so many of them. Also ABO. I got into ABO by accident with the Hannibal fandom, and those fuckers can seriously write. I found myself obsessed and now not a lot of sex scenes in regular fanfic can hold a candle to ABO most of the time. Regular fanfic was like weed and ABO was like heroin and now I'm addicted. I can't believe I'm into this but...it's hot.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian? Probably. He's pretty strong. It's just awkward because Ian is so tall. He'd find a way.

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house? Sandy took it when no one was looking.

[house-of-slayterr]

Clowning Around:

For: @joelsgeetar because I love him with ever fibre of my physical being 🥺

“Tyler wake up!” I shouted.

I frowned when he didn’t stir. This summer heat had everyone sleeping like the dogs. I got a running jump start and leapt on top of him on the couch.

“This is a robbery, give me all your money!” I pointed a finger gun at him.

He startled awake and nearly pushed me off of him in panic. But at the last moment he caught me before I could hit the ground.

“What the hell was that for.”

I shrugged.

“I was bored.”

If looks could kill, the glare his sent em would have me six feet under. I wasn’t expecting him to retaliate so quickly, considering he should still be groggy with sleep.

“I’ll show you bored.” He said.

I stumbled back as he tickled my sides. The pain was almost unbearable from how hard I was laughing.

“Ok! Uncle! Uncle!” I shouted.

He helped me up off the floor after I plead with him to show me mercy.

“We’ll you got me up, what now?”

“Ummmm, I didn’t think that far ahead. How about a hike?”

“You wanna walk through the woods at this hour?”

“What are you, chicken?”

“You take that back!”

“Sorry, I don’t speak poultry.”

“Fine, we’ll go on a hike. First person to get scared and turn back has to buy dinner!”

Before I could even respond he took of running outside. It wasn’t fair, he had longer legs than me. I glared at the empty space he left and grumbled. What kind of weirdo takes a nap with his converse on anyways? I quickly pulled on my shoes, not really caring to tie the laces and sprinted after him. Just as I was about to catch up I tripped, scraping my knee.

“Shit!” I yelled.

Tyler turned to me looking startled and ran over.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just a small cut.”

I brushed myself off.

“Maybe if you tied your shoes-“

“Maybe if you minded your damn business!” I snapped back.

He held his hands up in mock surrender while I dealt with my shoe issue. But I had a plan in mind, I’d give him a taste of his own medicine.

“First person to make it to the sewer gets a piggy back ride home!”

Despite my short stature, I could run very fast when determined to do so. And I knew where I was going, so I just let my legs carry me. It seemed like I had been running for miles, but it was really only like one. As I reached the mouth of the sewer, I caught my breath. I thought for a moment about waiting for Ty to catch up, but something was pulling me forward. I couldn’t stop myself from walking into the cold dark space.

It was a nice relief from the heat of the sun. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard foot steps behind me.

“You totally cheated!” Tyler declared.

“What can I say, I learned from the best!”

I went to say something else witty, but Ty cut me off, placing a hand over my mouth suddenly.

“Do you hear that?” He asked.

I shook my head. But strained my ears to listen. It sounded like… circus music. Odd. I felt awkward as we stood there for far to long in that potion. So I did the only logical thing.

“Ow! Did you just fucking bite me?” Tyler exclaimed, dropping his hand.

“Guess that’s why they call me Fang”

He rolled his eyes, inspecting his hand for a second.

“Don’t be such a baby, it didn’t hurt.” I said.

He shot me another glare. I grabbed his injured hand and gave it a kiss.

“There, all better.”

Before he could protest, I dragged him toward the noise.

“You know, usually when you hear a strange noise coming from a dark place, you don’t go towards it.”

“I don’t know what gave you the impression that I’m “normal” but I’m on a mission to have fun tonight. Creepy circus music, that sounds fun!”

He couldn’t argue with that logic, so he let me drag him further through the muddy water. It was so dark we were squinting.

“Here.”

Ty held his thumb down on his lighter, allowing a very minimal amount of light to shine through the tunnel. I thought quickly and ripped the pant leg off my injured leg, grabbing a glass bottle from the sewer water and shoving it into it.

“Light this” I instructed.

He gave me a skeptical look.

“What, I saw it in a movie once. Besides, the bottles wet and it’s mad of glass, it shouldn’t catch fire. I’ll be fine.”

He shrugged, lighting the make shift torch. As the flame illuminated the passage, a shiver ran down my spine. A faint laughter could be heard. But I pushed the feeling aside. We came to far to turn back now. We walked a little farther until we made it to an opening. My eyes widened.

“Did someone drug the water supply, or are you also seeing this?”

In the centre of the open space was one of those giant circus monkeys with the cymbals.

“I dont think I like this very much.” Tyler voiced his concern.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to agree with you on this one. We should leave.”

Suddenly the toy stopped playing the music, the head of it turning to us. Like a scene out of the exorcist.

“Fuck this!” I shouted.

When I turned to grab Tyler, he was gone. I felt a hand over my mouth again and stiffened. ‘Not funny Tyler’ I thought.

“Hiya!” I voice called.

It was pitched in a weird way. Almost as if two people were speaking at once. One voice stylised and funny, while the other was deep and demonic. I tried to use the torch to see who it was, but it was quickly knocked out of my hand.

“Silly human, don’t you know fire can hurt?” The voice scolded.

I stomped my foot down on the creatures and backed up quickly when it released me. It’s eyes turned to me, being bright orange and fully of fury.

“Well that wasn’t very nice.”

“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my friend?” I demanded.

“Me? Well I’m Pennywise, The Dancing Clown.”

He did a slight bow.

“If you hurt him-“

“Relax human, your tasty looking friend is fine. For now. I took him back into my lair!”

“What do you want with Tyler?”

“So that his name? Kinda cute don’t you think?”

I couldn’t fight the blush that crept onto my cheeks. But that wasn’t important right now. I mean I was talking to a demonic clown, now alone in the sewers. That’s the last thing I needed to be thinking about right now.

“What do you want with him?” I repeated.

“What? Is it a crime to want a new friend? You could be my friend too y’a know? Penny loves a good friend!”

“If I say I’ll be your friend, will you bring me to him?”

“You want to see Penny’s lair?” His eyes light up.

I nodded my head slowly. Suddenly I was being thrown over it’s shoulder and everything was so disorienting. When we finally stopped, we were in a well light part of the sewer, the sunlight creeping in through the grate above. I looked around and noticed the multitude of stolen objects littered around. But I nearly lost my cool when I noticed the body parts strewn all over the place. Penny dropped me onto a couch.

I backed away from him, hitting something else on the couch.

“Tyler?” I asked.

His eyes weren’t open. But I didn’t notice any injuries on him. He was just sleeping.

“What did you do to him?”

Pennywise shrugged.

“He just passed out when I grabbed him.”

Odd. Tyler only passes out when he’s scared or… no that couldn’t be it. I shook his shoulder trying to wake him. God why was this man so hard to wake up. I took a deep breath and slapped him across this face. An odd hissing noise came from the clown as a reaction.

“Ow, what was that for?”

Tyler’s eyes looked passed me and at Pennywise. I saw that look in his eye and I hated it. This fucker was turned on. Idiot. I could feel Penny glaring daggers at the back of my head, but I didn’t care.

“You scared the shit out of me!” I scolded.

Tyler scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Sorry Fang.”

“Fang?” Penny repeated. “What an odd name for a human.”

“Says the crazy clown living in the sewer.” I sassed.

Tyler punched my arm lightly as a warning. He knew I was the type to get myself killed in situations like this, just cause I couldn’t shut my mouth. I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest and plopping myself down on the couch next to him.

“So what now?” I asked.

I now noticed Pennywise was drooling, I must have reopened the cut on my knee. Shit. Tyler seemed to notice too, because he shot up from the couch, moving closer to the clown.

“Is your hair naturally that colour?” He asked.

What a stupid question. But it seemed to be working.

“Why? Do you like it?” Penny asked, excited.

Tyler nodded.

“It looks nice.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“Penny thinks your hair looks nice too. Can Penny touch?”

Tyler nodded once more. I just starred in horror. What in the fan fic fuck was going on here. Who the hell did I piss off that I had to witness this. I think I’d rather the clown just eat me.

“Could you maybe n-not?” I stuttered out.

Why the hell was I so flustered. Stupid emotions. Tyler shot me a knowing smirk and I glared at him. I got up from the couch and began to look around. That’s when I found an arm. I picked it up and waved it around, gaining the pairs attention.

“So do you like, eat people?”

I already knew the answer to this question, but I couldn’t bring my brain to think of any coherent questions.

“Children taste best” Penny answered honestly.

“Uh huh, and you just wasted this perfectly good arm because?”

I found myself inspecting the arm. Now that me mentioned it, it did look kinda small. I wonder how old this kid was? We’re they own of the missing student from our class? Is this what happened to Billy’s brother? Oh the poor kid must have been so scared. I was brought out of my trance when Penny snatched the arm from me, accidentally cutting my hand with his claws in the process.

“The human cannot have my food.” He said possessively.

“They weren’t trying to steal your food Penny.” Tyler tried to help.

I held my hand in pain. Why the hell did this hurt so bad. Maybe his claws where poisoned. I mean it would make sense. It would give him an advantage when hunting. Tyler finally seemed to notice my discomfort and came over to check my room.

“You scratched them Penny!” He reprimanded.

Surprisingly the clown seemed to shrink at this, like he actually cared what Ty thought. Like he felt bad. How odd. I couldn’t help the tear that fell from my eye.

“Ty, it hurts. Like a lot.”

He frowned.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Whatever was in its claws functioned like some sort of blood thinner. Because I was bleeding a lot more than I should. Penny took a step forward reaching out to me, but I flinched back.

“Don’t touch me!”

“But Fang is friend?”

“Friends don’t hurt friends!”

“Penny sorry, Penny can help!”

I looked at him sceptically because turning to Ty for advise. Tyler seemed to trust the entity for some reason, so I let him approach. Pennywise grabbed my hand, and before I could stop him, he brought it towards his mouth.

“Woah! What the hell are you doing?” Tyler asked, bewildered.

“Penny’s saliva will clot the blood. Stop the bleeding.”

It felt weird, having a six foot clown lick my hand. It tingled a little, but it did start to feel better. But then I noticed Penny began to drool again.

“Friend tasty.” It said.

“Friends don’t eat friends” Tyler reminded him.

Penny frowned before snapping out of it.

“Even if the friend taste like cotton Candy?”

“Yes Penny, even then.”

I could already tell this was going to be a long night.

An: I should be writing my requests rn but I got this idea and I just had to write it. I’m so glad you love Pennywise now! Cause I have an excuse to write about him. I love my little weirdo clown buddy ❤️