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duck-in-a-spaceship · 2 months

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The Smoker and Ulixes sit by the shores of Martinaise, and sketch the coast, and talk about art and communism.

My @palestaticexchange gift for @freddiegoesmetal! They requested communism and Ulixes and Steban and the Smoker and Cindy, so I just kind of grabbed some of those characters I thought would make an interesting story and went with it! I had a really great time working with these themes and characters, so I hope you like it!

Full fic below the cut-

Waves hit the shores of Martinaise. They crash up against the rocks, eating away at them, taking away particles to carry across the sea. It’s low tide, but in a handful of hours the waves will rise, and rise, until they rush over the place where you are sitting, until they tug at the cloth of your jeans and wet the pages of your sketchbook warped and bloody.

Of course, you will be long gone by then, far away from the ocean’s reach.

You’ve found a fairly flat rock to sit on, warm and dry from the glow of the late-spring sun. It makes the cool sea air and occasional splash of mist that reaches your face refreshing, instead of the cold bite they held in the winter months. You didn’t come here often, then. Not quite dedicated enough to withstand the chill when you had another choice.

A frozen image of the scene, captured in messy streaks of charcoal, sits in your lap. The strokes bubble up where the waves crash, and smooth over the waters further out. Clouds gather in great swoops of negative space in the sky, larger and grander on the page than they ever were in real life. The piece is mostly done, and yet you sit, and stare, and occasionally add another stroke of charcoal among the masses.

The waves hide the sounds of footsteps until they are right upon you, until there is a man wandering towards you and a gaze over your shoulder.

You tilt your head back, looking up to meet his eyes.

A pair of round glasses stare back at you, slightly fogged in the day’s humidity and speckled with spots of water. He has a scratchy beard, the kind he clearly shouldn’t be growing out, but is desperately trying to anyway. His clothes speak to a similar kind of effort: they’re professional and academic, stained and secondhand.

You’ve seen him… around, you know that much. Lingering by the apartments, shadowing the incredibly communist man that lives on the first floor. Other than that, he’s a stranger to you.

The communist shadow clears his throat, and adjusts his glasses. “Sorry,” he apologizes. For what, you wonder. Looking over your shoulder? Interrupting your drawing? Daring to exist at all? He gestures towards the sketchbook in your hands. “I was just curious as to what you were working on. That’s very impressive.”

There’s a cigarette in his hand, and he’s smoking it deeply, like he wants it to fill the cracks in his lungs, fix something in his life that’s been broken. You would know. You’ve smoked a cigarette for every reason under the sun, some just to try out and see how you liked them.

You smile at him, and nod your head in response. “Well thank you, I appreciate it. Just experimenting though, really.”

He nods his approval, speaks around the cigarette in his mouth. “That’s good all the same, experimentation. Pushing the boundaries of what we’ve been trained to expect is the first step of revolution. There is a reason the moralists love their monotony.”

A laugh flutters out of the corner of your mouth in the millisecond before you gain the composure to stifle it. This man, the communist shadow, is much too earnest for your laughter.

Still, he doesn’t miss your reaction. His brow furrows at it, but he is not embarrassed and he is certainly not deterred. None of his judgement is reflected back on himself; it all goes to you.

It’s okay, there’s not much of it. Just thought you should know.

You lean forward slightly, resting your chin against the heel of your hand, and smile up at him. “Well, then, there’s a reason I’ve never claimed to be a moralist.” He has a response to that, but you cut him off before he can continue. “If you happen to have any extra cigarettes on you, by the way, I could go for a smoke.”

It’s an invitation, not *just* to offer you a cigarette, but to sit, stay a while. He’s patting his jacket pockets right away, until he finds the box, and slips a cigarette from it.

(The brand is familiar to you, but only barely. You stand next to a woman at the bar, leaning on her, really, her body taking your weight while your drunken knees fail you. You came here with her, kind of. She’s a friend of a friend, a woman you only met that night, yet she’s gripping your arm like she’s pulling you off some kind of edge. Maybe she is. She smells like smoke, and when she takes the drink out of your hand, you make her trade it for a cigarette.)

The communist shadow finds his hesitation, and pauses for a moment before he hands you the cigarette.

Then he accepts your invitation, and offers a lighter with it.

“I’m Ulixes, by the way.”

You take the cigarette, and simply hold it out for him to light. He huffs in annoyance, but complies. It’s a two handed job anyway: one to hold the lighter, and the other to cup the flame away from the sea breeze. Your drag is slow, careful, not really matching his desperate, deep inhales.

“Nice to meet you, Ulixes. I’m Martin Martinaise.”

The communist shadow tucks the lighter and box back into the folds of his jacket, in some inner pocket that hides them from the world. Then he sits down next to you, resting his feet flat on the jagged rocks below. He hums idly, acknowledging your comment.

“A man of the people, then,” is his dry response.

“Just a man of the city.” Of alleyways and dark sidewalks and underground bars. The places between buildings and streetlights and other, respectable establishments. Martin Martinaise is a good face to wear, because it isn’t a face at all.

“You live in the Capeside apartments, do you not?” he asks, not pushing the issue further.

“Mhm, on the second floor. Nice view up there.”

A nod. He’s looking out across the ocean now, attention away from you and your drawing. Your attention has wandered from the sketchbook in your lap as well, but instead of the horizon, you watch him. He’s chewing on the end of his cigarette instead of smoking it. “My friend lives over there too, moved in when we started attending university.”

“Oh yes, I’ve seen you two around.” You flash him a smile, sharp with knowing and gentle with understanding. “Scuttling around after dark with each other.” What is university for, you suppose, if not *experimenting?*

Now he looks at you, eyes narrowed, like he’s figuring you out. There’s not much about you to figure out, you don’t think. Everything about you is either right on your sleeve, or tucked away so deep no amount of searching will reveal it. Not even to yourself.

When Ulixes picks his words, you know he’s done so carefully.

“You make it sound like some kind of… deviancy.”

You take a drag of your cigarette, and sigh out the smoke. “Not at all.”

Whatever he was looking for in your face, he must find, because he breaks eye contact with a clearing of his throat. “We have a book club, if you’re interested in joining. Our entry requirements have… relaxed recently.”

A *book club*? That’s a new one. “Oh have they?” you prompt, out of curiosity or interest you really aren’t sure. You follow threads like this to a fault, until you’re sitting in another stranger's apartment and you think you might as well finish what you’ve started. Until you’ve formed some kind of habit where you don’t know how to stop. You think they call those an *addiction.*

“They have, truthfully. We’ve even let Cindy join some, although she’s terrible about doing the reading, comes and goes as she pleases…”

“The reading?” you echo.

“Yes. The reading.” He tilts his head forward, and then enunciates his next words with extra precision, like you’ve dropped the point somewhere along the way and need him to pick it up for you. “For the book club?”

Ah. He’s being serious. Well, you always assumed he was being *serious,* but no, he’s being *literal.* You don’t quite suppress the laughter this time, it comes bubbling out of you, sea foam on the waves.

“Oh.” Ulixes blinks, then turns his face away. It seems to be an effort to hide the red suddenly blooming across his face, and it’s failing spectacularly. “I see. Ah, no, it’s not– I mean we– well… It’s a book club. We read books.”

“Of course, shadow.” The epithet slips out without your permission, another habit you’ve formed. “Just books.”

He nods again, scrambling to correct you, to pick up the pieces he’s dropped at your feet. The picture you’ve assembled with them is not one he can stand to view. Then again, you’ve seen straight men run to their own defenses before. Usually there’s less blushing involved. Harsher words.

“Communist literature, specifically. There’s a lot of debate involved, that’s what Cindy stays around for, mostly. To paint and argue. Have you met Cindy?”

It’s such an obvious deflection that you have to chuckle at him again, but you nod along all the same. “I have. She makes herself a little hard to ignore, doesn’t she?”

“Oh most definitely.” He’s relaxing again, jaw loosening on the wrecked end of his cigarette. “Her methods are… flashier than the tactics Steban and I employ, but they certainly catch people’s attentions, which is a feat in and of itself.”

“You have to admire her boldness. Burning paint on the bloodied square…” Your voice trails off, unsure of what endpoint you’re searching for.

UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI.

Instead, you tap the corner of your sketchbook. “Not very well suited to my own style, unfortunately.”

“I don’t think it’s about style as much as it is, as you said, boldness. The will to make a statement.”

You shrug and rub your fingers together. Charcoal smears between them, and then off onto your pants. It’s black against grey, like new lines on an old tattoo. “Not much power to a statement if it’ll be washed away in the next rain. Or when someone spits on the sidewalk.”

Ulixes shakes his head, hurriedly doing away with your arguments. “You can’t value your work by what it means to others. In a capitalist society, art is beholden to the values it can be sold for at auction. The minds of the populace are shaped by that influence and then-” He waves a hand through the air dismissively. “It’s all tainted from there.”

“Still, I don’t think Cindy makes her art for it not to be viewed. My work just wouldn’t have the same effect. Dust in the wind.”

Ulixes tilts his head at you. There’s a bit of a gleam in his eyes, that or the sun is hitting the water droplets on his glasses at just the right angle. “Have you ever heard of infra-materialism?”

“Can’t say I have.”

He shifts his body in your direction, pulling one of his legs up onto the rock, leaning in slightly. “It is a theory developed originally by Ignus Nilsen, or at least extrapolated from his initial ideas. At its core, infra-materialism states that our thoughts are not merely intangible organizations of ideas in our minds, but that they radiate outwards, even potentially influencing the world around them, taking the form of an ideological plasm to do so.”

Ulixes pauses for a moment. He’s making sure you’re still with him, still following along. You suppose you are, so you nod your affirmation.

“Depending on how much plasm a society is producing, how strong their ideological beliefs are, these influences can have different effects. The most famous example, of course, is increased crop yields of turnips under communist rule.”

“And better art?” you prompt.

“Potentially, but that isn’t necessarily the point here. The point is that a message doesn’t need to be observed by others for it to have value. Simply thinking it, whether you realize it or not, is putting it out into the world. Writing it down is simply an exercise in cementing the concept physically.”

It’s a nice thought, in a way. That you could have an impact on the world simply by existing in it, simply by thinking the right things. That you could remain firmly Underground, as long as you poked a hole in the dirt for your thoughts to race through.

“Maybe if I sit here with you long enough, I really will be Martin Martinaise, hm?”

“You’d need a lot of plasm for that, very high level.” He turns away from you slightly, back to chewing on his cigarette. It’s not even lit anymore, he’s just gnawing on the fucking end of it. Like a dog on a stick, tearing off layers of bark.

“It’s a nice idea,” you admit. “That you could believe in the next world and watch it come true.”

“Isn’t that what you do, what art is?” he gestures to your notebook. “You look at the landscape, see something worth capturing there, and make it come true.”

Finally, your gaze and thoughts return to the sketchbook in your lap. You prop it back up on one knee, legs crossed in front of you. “Just drawing what I see.”

Ulixes spits out the butt of his cigarette, smears it against the rock with his shoe. It leaves a streak of black in its place. His own graffito to be consumed by the sea. “The waves are blue, not black.”

You smile at him good-naturedly. “I’m using charcoal.”

“Still. The scene changes.”

He has a point. The sky isn’t filled with black and grey clouds, and the waves don’t break in scribbled streaks. There’s chaos there, and mood, more than just staring out at the waters could convey.

You flip to a new page of your sketchbook, and tear it out. “Here.” A pencil of charcoal is held out with it, an old spare. “What do you see, then?”

“Oh no, I’m not- I’m no artist.”

“An infra-materialist though, right? Don’t feel the need anymore to ‘cement this concept physically’?” You parrot his own words back at him teasingly, and they’re enough to give him pause.

“Not… particularly. I philosophize, spend time on my thoughts and ideology to develop plasm. *Technically,* there’s no evidence that art-”

“Oh come on. Humor me.”

He takes the paper and charcoal.

His strokes are too dark, the pencil heavy in a beginner’s hands. Unwieldy and foreign. It reminds you of the first time you lifted a cigarette to your lips and breathed in too eagerly. Your lungs shook with the effort it took not to cough, red face betraying your inexperience anyway. Ulixes’ hands do not shake with determination, but the furrow of his brow betrays him in the same way.

You turn to yet another page, and begin tracing out the shape of his nose, his eyes. Without the cigarette in his mouth, he’s gnawing on the inside of his cheek, you realize. As you draw the lines of his back, it’s impossible to miss the tension there.

“What brought you out to the coast today?”

He shrugs, focused on scribbling out the waves on the shore. His ocean looks like it's reflecting the night sky. “Just wanted to go for a walk, clear my mind.”

Of course. Why else? “Did it work?”

“No.” There’s such an easy candor to him it makes you want to believe his every word. Another part of you wonders if he lives in the same extremes you do: everything on the surface, except what matters most. “But this discussion has given me plenty of new thoughts to fill my head with.”

“Glad to be of service.”

His focus has shielded you from him, has shielded him from the world, and he doesn’t even notice as you stare at the curve of his eyelashes, as you try to capture the right emotion in his eyes.

More time passes, filled only by the crashing of waves and scratching of pencils against paper, before it is broken again.

“In dark times, should the stars also go out?” The words are muttered, so soft you aren’t even sure you caught them right, at first.

“Hm?”

Ulixes clears his throat, straightening slightly. He takes his eyes off the sketchbook in front of him, but doesn’t look at you either. The horizon has, once again, captured his attention. “In dark times, should the stars also go out?” he repeats. “It’s a quote, something Steban always brings up. I’ve been thinking about it recently.” He takes off his glasses, finally wiping away the droplets and the mist. “Bringing it into question.”

The words sound like some great confession when he says them, but you struggle to see past the mundanity. His friend says a quote. He doesn’t quite agree with it, or understand it, or something along those lines. What a wildly normal thing.

Still, you make an inquisitive hum, and tilt your head for him to go on. It must really be bothering him, for it to be brought up now, nearly unprompted.

He points out to the island on the sea. It’s a smear of black charcoal on your page, and a similar streak of brown in real life. You remember learning of the old man that lived there, the revealed murderer of the mercenary that hung in the Whirling’s backyard, your backyard, practically. Somehow, that news was overshadowed for many by the pictures of a cryptid stalking through the reeds, of that somewhat charmingly oblivious RCM officer reaching up towards it.

An interesting place, certainly.

“That island was a communist holding during the revolution. It was supposed to be a valuable asset, a powerful stronghold. Then the air raids came, and their weapons failed them at the singular, most crucial moment. All of the destruction and aircraft, the fires… the skies would’ve been black with the smoke. Indistinguishable from the night. The stars would have gone out from the sky.”

You’ve never figured out exactly what it is about yourself that seems to make people want to open up in your presence, but it’s rarely a trait you resent. At this moment, certainly, it’s strangely appreciated.

Ulixes is grabbing the lighter from his jacket again, raising another cigarette to light as you turn his words over in your mind. How, you wonder, does one rationalize the loss of the revolution in the face of infra-materialism? Did the revolutionaries simply not believe enough? Did they not so clearly imagine the future? If guns and fortresses weren’t enough to change the world, you don’t know how he thinks he’s going to do it. Dei knows you won’t.

“The stars have come back though. Not now, of course, but they will still shine in the sky once the sun goes down.”

“Of course.” He’s lit his cigarette without extending the offer to you, and you don’t ask. “But it’s a frightening thought, isn’t it? To have something that should be a constant suddenly taken away. To watch hope smothered in the sky. Even the stars go out.”

You look out at the ocean, at the sun catching the sea spray, at the gulls flapping their wings through the air, at the island. It sits in stark contrast, hard and unmoving against the soft, ever-shifting pull of the waves. The tide is coming in. You can’t sit here much longer.

The portrait in your lap is as finished as it will ever be, and you tear it out to offer to Ulixes. “I guess we have to appreciate them while they’re here.”

He takes the paper, examining it for a moment. When he’s done, it’s tucked into that same inner pocket of his jacket. “Thank you. This is… you’re very good at this.”

“Just practice,” you assure him, smiling.

In return, he offers his own page. The same scenery you were working on earlier greets you. His lines are dark where he laid them confidently, but fade away around the island. There, they are many, they are faint. There are a multitude of attempts to correctly capture the slope of its edges, the angles of the old fortress. The care he gave to it is clear, highlighted by how it sticks out amidst everything else on the page.

Before you can offer any of this commentary, he’s standing, and cutting you off. “I need to get going, this has become much longer of a walk than I intended it to be. It was nice talking to you though…” He pauses in the space where your name should be, and then realizes you aren’t going to fill in the gap. “Mr. Martinaise,” he says instead.

“It was nice talking to you too, shadow.”

Ulixes waves at you as he departs, and then makes a half-there gesture to the paper in your hand. “Hopefully I’ll see you around again.”

You wave in return, watching him as he goes. The art in your hands remains, as does yours with him. Carefully, you fold it in half, protecting the charcoal as much as you can from the outside world. There’s something written on the back.

You turn the paper over, unfolding it to reveal the message there. It’s only a couple of lines. Ulixes has written his name on the top, followed by “BOOK club” (the word ‘book’ underlined several times). Underneath that is an address, a time, and then a pass-phrase for entry.

‘Remember Dobreva and Abadanaiz.’

The revolutionary lovers.

You carefully refold the paper, sliding it in between the pages of your sketchbook. Maybe you’ll have to go sometime, accept the invitation and meet up after dark. The stars will be out.

#disco elysium #pale static exchange #literally hadnt finished the communist route before i got this prompt #and im so glad i did because holy shit it sure is something #duck writes

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angstflavoured · 3 months

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You have any fic recommendations? Any fandom really lol. You have good takes and interpretation so I feel like you’d have some fire recs

AWH WELL THANK YOU !! I dont actually know how great the ones I read are gonna be since usually the fandoms Im in are scarce on content 💀 but ill go ahead and list a bunch of the ones I really like. I definitely spend way too much of my time reading one shots. REALLY wanna get back into longer fics, but its hard to find ones I care enough to sit down and dedicate time to these days 💔

Smiling Friends

bittersuite, charlie/pim: AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED !!!!! THIS FIC CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER !!!!! It is hurt/no comfort, but its soooo good it hurts so good and also there is supposed to be more eventually so i'd get on this one first bc when the second one drops its gonna be a day in history

Dimples, charlie/pim: I just read this last night and was so pleasantly surprised ☹️ Its so damn cute and I love how it delves more into both of their characters.

Portal 2

interface, chell/wheatley: HANDS down, best portal 2 one shot out there. the way the characterize chell is fucking insane, altered my brain chemistry forever. also wheatley is so hehehheheheh

You Do It, adventure/fact: I have a very love/hate relationship with this author..... Im not the BIGGEST fan of how they characterize them, esp Fact, but its definitely the most decent factventure content out there. I so like this one quite a bit, though their ideas are definitely better in theory than completely in practice. That's how I feel abt a lot of their works, but this person unironically holds the title for like 90% of the factventure content. If you just want some quick cute smut of them, i'd say you should check out their acc, cus I get the factventure fandom is starving LMAOO

I've got the fuse if you've got the light, adventure core/reader: ....erm, very self indulgent for me hehe!!! i was so fucking excited when this dropped

Half-Life/HLVRAI

Autonomous Sweet Mesa Response, benrey/gordon: THIS FIC IS SOOO FUCKING FIREEEEE !!! OH MY GOD, I can't even count the times I've read this one. their dialogue is as good as it comes next to canon. If you like this one, this is the first in a huge series and litearlly all of them are just as good as the first. such a good sit down and binge author. They also have a shit ton of other good hlvrai stuff on their page and they make fire art

If You Asked Me To, benrey/gordon: the way they wrote the sex scene in this changed my brain forever, it was so fucking awesome.... frenrey dynamic makes me WILD

Whispers and Moans, barney/gordon: this whole author has a lot of super cute freehoun :'[ this one deals with them before the resonance cascade AND after and shows how things changed between them and its so precious grrraah

Promise, barney/gordon: again, deals with the timeskip stuff which just always makes my heart hurt... also shower sex smiles

It’s Only Natural, barney/gordon: I DIDNT REALIZE THIS FIC JUST GOT FINISHED THIS YEAR OH MY GODDDD I WAS OBSESSED WITH THIS need to reread this immediately

Team Fortress 2

He's a Rebel, sniper/spy: SUPER fucking cheesy and corny but oh my god its like one of my fav fics ever..... it's just so much fun, like stereotypical fanfic and that's always a good time to me. biker gang member/school teacher au are you fucking kidding me i'll vomit

It IS the Size That Matters, sniper/spy: erm.... BLOWJOBS!! always find myself coming back to this one sorry i really like it hehe

Secure, demo/solider: Not a lot of fics of these guys, which really sucks!! super underrated ship. I liked this one a lot tho, its pretty cute and a little emotional

Something to Rely On, sniper/spy: casual sex but really sniper is in love will forever be my favourite thing ever, it never gets old istg

The Silent Game, sniper/spy: can you tell I really like sniperspy, MORE BLOWJOBS!!!

Disco Elysium

The Collision in Cardiozone HQ, harry/kim: holy. fucking. shit. actually life changing i am not joking. so fucking heartbreaking, it left me hollowed out for like a WEEK after the ending. A longer one for sure, but SO worth it like oh my god

The Catacomb Killer, harry/kim: I don't think I ever fully finished this one, but I remember REALLY liking the whole case the fic was set around. there was so much thought put into it, it was genuinely interesting like a murder mystery show

Retour à nouveau, harry/kim: I did really like the whole plot and buildup in this one, but from what I remember, them getting together was super anticlimatic :P i recall being disappointed, but the whole actual case and their interactions during the fic are super cute

Mortal Kombat 1

the game of idiocy, johnny/kenshi: BY THE SAME AUTHOR AS BITTERSUITE!! this one is sooo fucking cute, the way they write them interacting is so much fun. a little troupey and on the cheesier side, but cmon who doesn't love that

Undertale

Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach: no ships but delves a lot into flowey and papyrus relationship and there's so much good sans development too. SUPER GENERIC, it IS one of the most liked fics, but I remember reading it back when I was a teenager and it blew my fucking mind. ghhghggh i love the way they write the brothers interacting so much

The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes, sans/reader: uhmm.... soo sorry, this fic will forever hold a special little place in my heart. I'm sure if I read it now it would be SO corny cus oh my god it was fucking 2016 like are you kidding, but I'm just a fucking sucker for fake dating. there like 5000000 troupes in this one and theyre all so cute and its just a fun and silly time. it subconsciously inspires so much of my writing in fics. will probably forever be unfinished before they get together though HAHAH so definitely do not read if you're looking for a solid ending. its just about the journey i swear

#fic rec #fanfic rec #smiling friends #portal 2 #hlvrai #half life #mortal kombat 1 #mk 1 #half life 2 #disco elysium #team fortress 2 #tf2 #fanfic #long post #list #fyp

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browniefox · 10 months

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The Very Best Fics - 2

I am making a second 'best fics according to me' because it is very long. You can access the previous post from here.

On this list is: Daredevil, Disco Elysium, Trigun, Psych, Mob Psycho 100, Undertale, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII

Daredevil

My Guardian Avengers (Can I Get A Refund?) - prettybirdy979

Daredevil needs to protect a certain law firm in Hell's Kitchen. He's a little slack about protecting this Matt Murdock fellow though, and the Avengers are only too happy to step in to help. Matt is SO not okay with this. (Shut up Foggy, so what if it's his own fault!)

Prettybirdy979 has done 'Daredevil meets the Avengers' like ten times, and you know what? they hit it out of the park every time. Hell yeah! This one is just as fun, and it's always nice to read a new (uh, new-ish) fic from an author you love :D

Disco Elysium

Excerpts from the Case Notes of Kim Kitsuragi - Hosekisama

Excerpts reference Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Du Bois' belief that he can (and does) "reload" his own life after failing, like some kind of video game character.

Disco Elysium plays with so many fun video game mechanics, like the 'jamrock shuffle', so honestly the idea that Harry would think in terms of 'reloading' is way fun! I love the ambiguity of whether or not there actually are saves or loads.

Trigun

Start here - AsterAspera ( @aster-aspera )

The first time he wakes, he is in a room. Heavy curtains hang over dusty windowsills and there are crumpled sheets on the bed and crumpled sheets on the floor. The world is quiet while his body screams. Every soft, fleshy, vulnerable part of him is on fire, writhing and roiling in unbearable agony. He wants to move, get away from the mattress that digs into his skin like fingers, like knives, like roots, but his body is frozen without his consent, time stretching endlessly around him as he fights an ocean of pain. And suddenly there are hands on him and worried grey eyes and he wants to scream but his throat is already scraped raw.

We love QPR Vash/Meryl/Wolfwood, and we love stories that drop you into something and you have no idea what's going on. Such a good and interesting fic that drops ideas of what has happened, but also you're not totally sure, and it really puts you into Vash's head for the fic.

I Just Want To Slow Dance With You by easternCriminal

"Wolfwood swears at the radio, and then finally the static parts like the sands after a storm and the warm, slow sounds of a guitar comes out from over the dunes and fills the small room." oOo A soft domestic moment, inspired by Start Here by AsterAspera

Inspired by the fic above, a scene between Meryl and Nicholas (and Vash) as they try and figure out what their dynamic is now. Wonderfully domestic.

Rinse and Repeat by easternCriminal (@the-east-art)

Somehow, Meryl can head the monotone flatline of his heart. And she wakes up again on the road. Meryl starts to realize what is going on.

Time loop, time loop, time loop! Time loops where you're trying so despeartelyl to save someone! Time loops where you start realizing some sacrifices have to be made! Time loops that make you hate and love someone like you never have before!

Press my Corpse against the Wall by Rayawastaken

Meryl kept thinking back to Tonis, small and still so young in his mothers arms. She kept thinking about the fact that if she held onto him a bit stronger, if she had more conviction, he might still have both of his arms. And about how if she had any less of it, Wolfwood might have not woken back up again in that bar. Surely, getting a bit scratched up was worth saving someone’s life. But that’s not how Wolfwood saw it. To him, she’d forever be just some defenseless little thing that stumbled around helplessly and had to be protected. And for all that he complained about Vash having a self-sacrificial streak, he'd rather bleed out on the floor than admit he had needed help. - Wolfwood almost dies, Meryl saves him and gets hurt in the process. They have a fight about it.

I love Mashwood, but the dynamic between Wolfwood and Meryl is often under represented. I especially love this fic's exploration of the fact that Meryl, of the trio, is the most human and the position that puts her in a lot of the time.

CHANGING NATURE (‘TIS THE SEASON) by ainosyn (@tristamp-gunpede)

“How could anyone kill you without killing a part of themselves?” and “I can’t help it, it’s my nature.”

An exploration of all the different ways the story of Trigun could have gone, or could have been told, and about what is inherent to someone's nature. I love this, such a great character study of Knives and Vash.

Never understood a single word he said by aboxthecolourofheartache (@aboxthecolourofheartache)

Meryl drums her fingers on the steering wheel, and Wolfwood gets the sinking feeling of spotting bullshit at a hundred yarz and being unable to do anything about it. “Is it really buried treasure? I don’t believe you,” Meryl sniffs. “You’re stalling or something.” Vash’s lips curl up at the corner and, yes, there’s that mischievous little dimple that heralds doom. “Only one way to find out. If it is buried treasure, next night at a motel is on me. What do you say?" “Hot showers and everything?” Meryl squints at Vash sidelong, she the very picture of suspicion and he of innocence. “Cross my heart,” Vash vows, making a solemn X over his chest. ~~~ A detour turned nightmare, water from the rock, Three Dog Night, and unconventional gestures of trust.

MUST READ MUST READ MUST READ!!!! Best Trigun Fic I think I've ever read, with perfect characterization of Meryl, Vash, and Wolfwood that all feel distinct and accurate, a lot of fun interactions, and just a hint of the good good 'Vash isn't human' stuff I live for.

Psych

All We Are by jumpfall

"I want eyes on Spencer ten minutes ago!" Shawn thinks that maybe another hostage situation is just what they need to bring the team together again.

Love when you find a fic that captures the vibes of the canon so well! The team-as-family in psych is so good and fun, it's what makes it all worthwhile, you know? The characters in Psych are really good, and I'll be honest I live for the times that Shawn manages to actually be selfless and care about others.

the robbed that smiles steals something from the thief by EclipseWing (@shadow-of-the-eclipse)

That one in which Shawn is a con-artist, a liar and a thief.

Hell yeah, EclipseWing, all my homies love EclipseWing! This one is so fun! It's nice to see a Shawn who doesn't get into crime solving but still needs to find something to preoccupy him becoming a theif instead, it's so in person I love it!

Mob Psycho 100

Come Morning Light by NotHereForIt

Reigen is standing in a world that exists, but doesn't, in front of a house that is Mob's, but not, with a man that's dead, but isn't. In which Reigen thinks he's dreaming, and he very much is not.

Dream walking time, hell yeah! In which Reigen helps Mob through is dreams. Poor Mob has PTSD, but at least he's not alone.

knife trick by ruthwrites (@ruemilley)

There wasn’t a rule, exactly, that said that Ritsu wasn’t allowed to spend time with his brother. It was just something that was understood, like how Ritsu understood he wasn't supposed to press his hands along the sharp edges of his mother’s kitchen knives. (or: an age swap where only Mob and Reigen's ages are changed. Shigeo asks his little brother if he wants to walk him home after school. Ritsu should say no. Ritsu does not say no.)

The ending of this one sticks with me, ugh it's so good. Swap au's are so interesting, and I love the way it's done here, especially with Mob and Reigen being swapped, but Ritsu still being the same age.

citrus by orphan_account

He can just barely see Reigen pacing, purposefully quiet. He’s not smiling or laughing like he usually does on the phone. He looks sad. No, he looks upset. Shigeo doesn’t get a chance to wonder why before Reigen is walking back out, eyes carefully trained on his phone before he flips it shut. “Mob, we have a client to go to. I would have taken you home, but your parents aren’t there.” “Why would I have to go home?” Reigen goes quiet for a moment. “We aren’t dealing with a spirit.”

Reigen getting to deal with big problems through his job, and baby Mob learning important life lessons, what more do you need?

I know who I am when I'm alone by RedWritingHood

I'm something else when I see you. The world revolves around the suffering of Kageyama Shigeo. It fails to anticipate the determination of the Greatest Psychic Detective of the 21st Century.

In which Reigen is in Mogamiland and is as stubborn as a mule - even if he doesn't know what he's fighting against or for. A great moment of Reigen being able to comfort Mob - more or less. There are struggles that come with trying to accomplish that.

Undertale

Second Contact by Ononymous

To the participants, monumental days in history rarely feel very monumental when they wake up that morning. A young man at his summer job in the middle of nowhere was about to learn this the hard way.

I love this fic, of Asogre and Frisk meeting the first human outside of the Underground, told from outsider pov. It's a fun continuation of the story, and of how a poor service employee has to be the one to deal with the mess first.

What Little Monsters Are Made Of by Mangaluva

Nobody understands why you keep Flowey. You're not always sure why you do. But you found a way to save everybody else.

A story about love, and a story about believing in someone or something, and about how it's never too late. Post-Game, exploration of the relationship that builds between Flowey, Frisk, and the rest of the monsters over the years.

Kingdom Hearts

Scar Tissue - mimiplaysgames

Terra doesn’t remember certain things. He’s not in control. Even after everything they have been through, he still has the Guardian to contend with.

A little confusing to read sometimes, but super interesting look into after effects of having one's heart stuck in various places, and how it impact Terra without him even knowing it. At the end of the day, Terra is a guardian.

Umbra, Penumbra - end_alls

Roleswap where Vanitas is the one raised with care and compassion in the Land of Departure, and Ventus… is not

A fun and interesting role reversal. In general, the concept of 'too much light' is not explored enough in Kingdom hearts, so a fic that goes into how Ventus is left so incomplete without Vanitas is great.

Affecting Eternity - b-na_hime

One new Keyblade Master. Two new Keyblade wielders. Three thousand ways it could go horribly wrong…

Riku trying so hard to train Lea and Kairi when he's never been formally trained either. Great relationship building between them and how each of them feels about being a keyblade wielder.

reflections, refracted. - vvingblade (@vvingblade)

It's been ten years since then. Time has passed, and wounds are slowly healing. Ven thought he'd moved on, that the memories no longer bother him. All it takes is a single muddled spell to prove him wrong.

Ven has some serious PTSD and it rears its ugly head. Also, Ven can kick ass when he believes his life depends on it. Great Ven characterization that fleshes out Ven a bit more than he usually is.

Final Fantasy VII

The Fifth Act by Sinnatious

Cloud has an accident with a Time materia, and finds himself in the middle of the Wastes at the start of the Wutai War. There are people to save… and for that, there are three people who need to die.

My favorite time-travel fix-it for FFVII I've found so far. Good characterization, fun interactions, and I love how much it grapples with the question of 'should Sephiroth die, when he hasn't done anything'.

A Feather's Edge by Boomchick

Rescue arrives for Sephiroth while he is still a child. It arrives in the form of a blank-faced blonde-haired hero who cannot look at him; Who tends his wounds, and speaks kindly, but whose eyes are filled with hate and fear. If only Sephiroth knew the rules of this world outside the labs, maybe he could figure out how to stop making Cloud so angry...

An interesting look into, even if Sephiroth was saved, how messed up he is since childhood and how that impacts how he views people, sitautions, and relationships with other people. Kinda wish it was a little longer, but also I think it ends where it needs to end, if that makes sense. Really love Cloud trying to grapple with being a good adult for a child while battling his PTSD over said child.

In the Woods, Somewhere - DoveFanworks

On an ordinary day, two against one would hardly feel fair. But today was not an ordinary day, and Gods damn if this man wasn’t proving to be worth every bit of their combined effort. It was ludicrous. Unheard of. Before today, he would have thought it impossible. But somehow, someway, this man, this stranger who had come from out of nowhere, was fighting off two of the most powerful fighters in the world. At the same time.

Unresolved Time Travel au where Cloud takes on the three Firsts and kicks ass! I love how thought out the fight scenes are, taking into account the abilites of everyone involved and what they're capable of. Wonderfully orchestrated, wonderful to read.

Rebound - emrald_writes

Genesis knows the moment that they step into the little town that whatever it is plaguing them it isn’t a curse.

I Love fics that have surprisingly in depth worlds that makes you feel like you're looking into a world so much bigger and more thought out than you expected. Such an interesting magic system and a fun mystery to boot. I will say, the ending feels a little strange, but the rest most than makes up for it.

As They Bask in the Material World - Traxits

Every year, Reeve tours the outer reactors. This year, Veld is unable to escort him, so Tseng gets the job. It's just his luck that the car breaks down, and perhaps the best idea was not to spend the night in Cosmo Canyon…

Hi welcome to the beginning of the 'brownie falls in love with reeve' section of this. Anyway, great and interesting relationship between Reeve and Tseng, and EXTREMELY cool take on how young Reeve would react to Cosmo Canyon.

Before She Hangs Her Head to Cry - Traxits

Reeve had been reasonably certain that no one was in his office. It seemed like a logical assumption to make, given that he was not there and that no one short of the President had a key. One day, he would learn to stop assuming anything when he counted the Turks among his friends.

Not enough people talk about Reeve and kidnapping Marlene! Love the backstory that is hinted at for Reno here, getting to see Reeve's thoughts and such, and how Marlene's upbringing shows up throughout her actions. The characterization is just, *mwah*, beautiful.

Little Birds by katineto

Marlene's Papa is gone, and she is scared—or, the kidnapping, from Marlene's perspective.

Reeve is terrible with children. I love seeing Marlene's POV in the whole mess, trying to make sense of what is going on and feeling so scared.

Through Another's Eyes by CorsairOriginal

Elmyra Gainsborough had only wanted to live a life in peace, but war keeps coming to her door. She had only wanted her arrangement with Marlene Wallace to be temporary, but now that she's a part of Elmyra's life she has to face the consequences of that decision. Director Reeve Tuesti didn't choose to become a spy, but orders from President Rufus Shinra are not to be refused. He didn't choose to admire a group of renegades, but now that they're a part of his life he can't walk away so easily. ~ "Through Another's Eyes" is an in-depth view of the major notes of Reeve's story in Final Fantasy VII, starting from Marlene's abduction by Shinra to the end of the original game--rewriting some concepts and adding elements from the Compilation of FF7, including Before Crisis and FFVII Remake.

THE PINNACLE OF REEVE FICS. So so so good! Great relationship of Reeve with everybody, and how he deals with the events of FFVII. The moment at the end when he finally meets everyone? FUCK YEAH, that's what it's all about baby! Fic that got me hooked on the inspire!Reeve characterization.

I'm Fine - WinterEvenings

“Cloud!” His eyes snap open, but it doesn’t do much good. All he can see is darkness anyway. They were trapped. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

Cloud is so fucked up as far as priorities and his own health is concerned. it's terrible and wonderful at the same time. Gotta love a good dose of whump.

#ffvii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #kingdom hearts #disco elysium #daredevil #psych #mp100 #browniefox speaks #ficrec #fanfiction #fic rec #masterpost

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focusfixated · 3 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

thank you for this! i think my favourite fics i've written are the ones that are basically like. my thesis statement. if you ask me about these characters, i will slide you one of these fics and say: here's my dissertation on the subject. everything you need to know about how i feel is in there.

can't get a life (if my heart's not in it)

libertines rpf | peter/carl | M | 20.9k

When Peter came to London, Carl was waiting for him under the hanging clock in the middle of Waterloo station. It had been romantic, in the way that Peter saw all their meetings as a little romantic – a song in the making, all Terry meets Julie and a sunset over the river. Or: the early days of Peter & Carl's love affair with London - and each other.

note: i wrote this one during my first year moving to london. inhabiting this story with these people and their music helped me settle there. this was also my way of taking every insanely romantic and toxic thing peter and carl did or felt about each other in those early years and weaving it into one point of reference.

on the wings of a nightingale

good omens | aziraphale/crowley | E | 11.1k

Aziraphale liked his body. He liked the shape of it, the way it moved and touched the world, a type of sensory feedback that made him understand the shape and extent of his corporation. Like he wasn’t just an ephemeral vessel. Like he was flesh. Or: Aziraphale gets a tattoo. Crowley is an accessory to this crime against good sense. Everyone’s kinks are very poorly disguised.

note: i think this is the one where i really got to grips with my authorial obsession with bodies, embodiment, sensation as existence. it's probably one of the most personal things i've written, too, in terms of its dissection of touch, and espousing thoughts on faith as tangible feeling vs abstract thought. this is the aziraphale that exists in everything else i've written in this fandom.

i hope i find my home

it chapter 2 | richie/eddie | E | 53k

The peak of summer is long gone, if it ever came, but the funk of stagnant air still hangs low over the suburban streets. Richie Tozier – sallow-skinned and puffy-eyed, wearing a too-small denim jacket that smells of sweat and mildew – hasn’t slept in several days, and he's trying to remember how he got here in the first place. Or: Coming back to Derry, Richie hadn't expected to live. Eddie hadn’t expected to die. In the aftermath of Neibolt, they’re both confronted by another shot at life.

note: possibly actually my favourite thing i've ever written out of all of these. features this ongoing obsession with bodies, though this is from a more confrontational perspective than the good omens one - there's an element of body horror, a sense of fear and discomfort about the body, and grapples with embodied repression. took me two years to write this one. it was a labour of love and hard work, and a proof of my commitment to getting this story about survival and recovery told.

le temps qu'il faut

disco elysium | harry/kim | T | 5k

Snow blows in from the east. It falls on Martinaise, thickening the frigid air like cornstarch, thick enough to chew on. Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi stands – quiet, watchful, an oddity placed at the centre of a racket – collar turned up against the weather. Or: winter is tough and so is Kim, but a lot can change in ten days.

note: a story where i feel like i got the closest to capturing the mood of the original media. it was such a fucking pleasure to write something that was almost pure atmosphere. felt right that the poetry came out of this cold and battered landscape, and really solidified my interest in capturing environments. (who needs plot when there are buildings and lakes covered in snow).

when we fight about love

our flag means death | multi | E | 41.2k

Bonnet took a dainty sip of rum, then put the mug down with a fussy finality. “Look, I’m not interested in deals and riches and who gets what from who. I want to find Ed, that’s it. You’ll come with us, and you’ll guide us to the Revenge, and when we’re done, you can have my other ship to do with what you like. Sell it, sail away, set it on fire, I don’t care. Do we have an accord?” Bonnet held out a hand. His nails were ragged, and there were blisters on his fingers. Somehow, he still smelled of lavender. With all the recalcitrance of reaching towards an open flame, Izzy shook it. (Or: after brokering an uneasy peace, Izzy Hands, Stede Bonnet and the rest of the Revenge’s depleted crew are thrown together for a mission: find Edward, snap him out of his terrible madness, and then – and then.)

note: this is the one. the story that sums it all up. "how do you feel about izzy? what do you think was going on with him? how would a coherent version of him, flaws and all, realistically interact with the people most important to him during this time?" well: like this. focuses on repression, again, a key theme for me. though the repression here is not just physical, but mental, too. this was an exercise in finding a way to present a dislikeable, misguided, unreliable narrator as a point of view character and still finding meaning and empathy in his perspective. one of the most satisfying things i've ever written.

#my fic #ofmd #good omens #it chapter 2 #disco elysium #the libertines #writing

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pinehutch · 2 months

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Brief Dispatches

The good:

It stopped being so outrageously hot today

Have made and executed plans the last several weekends in a row (I missed the world, over the last year and a half)

Extension on a work deadline kind of

Drove for about 4 hours today and can still walk

Good sandwich, great (sour) pickle for dinner

My benefits continue to cover my exorbitant prescriptions

My American friends seem to be experiencing something like hope, or at the very least the lightness that comes with the lessening of despair. I like that.

The less-good:

Car making weird noise when it gets too warm?

Extension on a work deadline is only until 9 tomorrow morning

Driving for 4 hours has resulted in a serious case of Knee Hurty that I'm not sure I can tape my way out of

I can't eat as many gigantic sour pickles as I want to because the number is >5 and no one needs that much sodium

My benefits have still not figured out that they're supposed to cover my CPAP machine

My TBQ7 submission was rejected after almost a year (BUT extremely kindly, specific feedback, "we loved this", looking forward to seeing more etc., and it was one of the last to get the no, so a very fine rejection all things considered)

The quietly unhinged:

I played Disco Elysium for the first time in March of this year. I've completed 2 or 3 playthroughs and started others. I have talked about it to my therapist. I've wondered if i could write fic and I can't, because I don't know what else I would say. I leave enthusiastic comments on the fic I read. I'm in playlist-making mode now. It's really great to have fallen so hard for something. (I knew I would love it but Not Like This. Yes I recognize that capital has the ability to subsume all critiques into itself, and if i were a real one I'd have bought it in 2019 - or at least in 2020 - or at least before 2024. Fortunately there is no timeline on being moved by things, even if capital has subsumed them etc. to a degree many find distasteful-to-intolerable. )

Still me. Still cry at the drop of a hat but - and this is kind of a big deal - it stops, now. Letting myself feel something isn't an unstoppable off-ramp to Sob City for the next 4 hours. It's a relief. I suspect this means my nervous system is being restored by actual sleep at night.

I dream, now. (I had stopped, mostly, for a couple of years, while the OSA was going through the roof.) Instead of my childhood home I keep dreaming of my grandparents' house, as it was 15, 20 years ago. The old electric kettle, the kind that didn't whistle or shut off but would boil dry, if you let it. The flour-bin my grandpa made. The pine hutch in the dining room, designed by my grandmother, built by her brother and my grandfather and their friends. Boxes of cereal for the grandkids that were slightly more fun than the ones we had at home. Scraps and ends and cuttings and seeds; pressed plants and flowers in the pages of the field guides; a steel desk from an old office; a root cellar and a pantry and a summer kitchen in the basement. My subconscious is rooting away down there, these days.

#personal #ramblings #mundanities #it's the two-year anniversary of one of my most spectacularly overpromised and underperformed ones ever and yet: here I am.#really good at some things. getting better at others

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isindismay · 1 month

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WIP Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @goblininawig!

Unusually for me, I'm working on new chapters for two fics at once, and here's the proof!

First up, chapter 4 of Stronger Together, Cobra Kai, (primarily) lawrusso

Daniel takes the flask and takes a sip, then starts coughing. “Oh god, what is that?” Johnny nods and takes the flask back. “Good stuff, ain’t it?” “What are you drinking?” the driver asks. “You want some?” Johnny asks, holding the hip flask out towards her. “I really shouldn’t, but-” Daniel grabs Johnny’s wrist. “Hey, knock that off,” he says. “I want us to get to the bar in one piece.” Johnny freezes, and lets Daniel pull his arm away from the front of the car. It’s just a casual touch, but after that time at the hospital, he’s so hyperaware of Daniel’s touch. He’s not applying the full force of his strength, in fact he’s being pretty gentle. Daniel doesn’t immediately pull his hand away. Johnny thinks about how easily he could just curl his fingers around Daniel’s. The hip flask slips out of his hand, spilling cheap whiskey on the floor of the car. “Oh, crap.”

And the long time coming chapter 21 of Question of Time, Disco Elysium, trantjean

“No. I thought you were funny.” “Funny?” “Your sarcasm, your quick wit. I always liked it when you walked past my desk. I would sometimes make excuses to go to your part of the building.” “You did? I didn’t notice. You started in A-wing, right?” “That’s right. Before you stole me.” The way Trant smiles and flutters his eyelashes makes your breath catch in your throat. “And I was quite happy to be stolen.” You clear your throat. “Yes. They weren’t making good use of your talents.” “No. But you appreciated me.” “Which is why you stayed and accepted several pay cuts.” “Yes,” he says. “I’d say it has paid off well.” He smiles. “I finally got you to notice me.” You stare at him. It’s hard to believe that Trant had an interest in you from the start. You shake your head. “Why didn’t I notice you?” you say aloud.

tagging: @lullabyes22-blog @hannibalcatharsis-zero @gay-victorian-astronomer @harvestar (as always totally optional & anyone i haven't tagged is also welcome to join if you've got WIPs to share!)

#tag game #wip game #lawrusso #trantjean

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aughtpunk · 6 months

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A03 Questions Tag Game

I got tagged by: @coffincrows

I tag: @ventela1 @autumn2may @farshootingstar

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

552,955

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

In no particular order: Cult of the Lamb, Welcome to Night Vale, Disco Elysium, Good Omens, Overwatch and a bunch of series I've only written one fic in

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

Points on a Circle (Overwatch, lots of ships, mainly Yeehan)

Now Streaming: Love! (Overwatch, lots of ships, D.va POV)

White is Not the New Black (Good Omens, Ineffable Husbands)

Fusion is Just a Cheap Tactic to Make Weak Angels Stronger (Good Omens, Ineffable Husbands)

Welcome to Cyber Vale (Welcome to Night Vale, Cecilos)

5 – Do you respond to comments?

I may accidentally skip a few (sorry) but I try to respond to everyone!

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Another Pyramid, although I'm not sure I would call it angsty. The fic is about two robots (omnics) discussion an opera and the play based on it, and it ends with one of the robots wondering if the more opened-ended play could possibly be about the endless cycle of tragedy and romance, and how that's very fitting in the current war for robot rights.

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably To Forgive is Divine since it ends with the Bishop family back together AND Narinder and Lamb as a couple AND other happy spoilers

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Okay so I wouldn't call it hate but I will take a moment to talk about the weirdest comment I ever got on a fic: Someone once posted in the third chapter of a fic that they hadn't read the first two chapters (on purpose) and they were only going to read every-other chapter from then on. And then every other chapter they kept posting about how the fic made no sense and kept asking questions that were answered in the parts they skipped.

Yeah I ended up blocking them and deleting the comments. Like, the fuck?

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut. I would describe it as "bad".

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Probably the Good Omens/Pokemon crossover fic The Evils of Truth and Love. Sadly I couldn't figure out anything to do with it plot-wise so it's only just three chapters of silliness.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. Imagine someone stealing my work. It'd be like someone stealing my twelve year old hyundai. Like, why?

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I know Cyber Vale got partially translated, and one of my Disco Elysium fics was translated into Russian!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, I'm not into co-writing.

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably X/Zero. Which is funny considering I've never written a ship about them.

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Dear Notes in a Line and Five Shalle Ryde fans:

I swear I'll come back one day to finish these. Pinky-swear.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Apparently I have a real knack for writing immortal God/God-like beings/Immortal Robots and I don't know what to do with this power besides writing fanfic.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I am so, so bad at smut. I've tried, you guys. I've really tried. But writing it feels like someone is sandpapering my brain. In another timeline where I can write smut I'm probably making bank on a terrible amazon published erotica series.

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it myself because I can barely handle English most days. Never mind other languages Do you know how many times I've failed French 1? Six. SIX TIMES.

EDIT: It has been pointed out to me that I've written multiple characters in multiple stories that use ASL. I am not a clever person.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

NiGHTS Into Dreams! It's called TWiNS and I actually dug it up from the depths of FF.net to post on Ao3 because I'm so proud of my teen self for writing it.

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

Probably As Mayflies, which I wrote one beautiful summer morning while I was feeling very emotional over Sir Terry Pratchett's passing and wrote a little story about how the humans Crowley and Aziraphale meet live forever in their hearts.

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ripeteeth · 11 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @another-lost-one!

How many works do you have on ao3?

106, all in. (105 under ripeteeth, 1 orphaned)

What's your total ao3 word count?

966,792. God, I'd love to hit 1 million before the end of the year, but that's extremely unlikely.

What fandoms do you write for?

Way too many. The main are: The Terror, MDZS, Disco Elysium, Harry Potter, Good Omens.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) [Good Omens]: 3094 how a resurrection really feels [Disco Elysium]: 1479 Vigil Strange [The Magnus Archives]: 1266 the art of asking your boss for a raise [Succession]: 1154 no son of mine [Beyond Evil]: 993

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I get easily overwhelmed and sometimes don't. I feel awful about it, I'm so sorry. I am so grateful for every comment, truly.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess it depends what you consider angstier? I have some centered around grief and loss and some focused on fucked-up relationships and characters continuing to make choices that hurt them. It's kind of cheating to say Asterius is my choice, considering that I haven't published the end of it yet, but anyone familiar with the story of Theseus and the Minotaur should hear the beat of the story I'm telling there.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For some reason, I think it's either The Passion or How A Resurrection Really Feels. A believable happiness feels the most relatable to me, and two middle-aged, damaged-but-still-here-godammit men finding a bit of comfort in the midst of all of it just feels right. Like a comfortable boiled wool jacket just a little big in the shoulders. The one that smells like your father's cologne. That kind of warmth.

Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah. It was really bad for awhile, and was the main reason I left Good Omens and turned off comments and orphaned Salinity. I'm pretty desensitized to it now.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write pretty much only smut. I don't know what I'd categorize it as other than that tbh.

Do you write crossovers?

No, never felt the interest.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! It was a really cool experience and I felt really honored.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've tried to but I'm terrible at it. It doesn't help that I've had terrible writer's block for the past several years though.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have no idea how to answer this. All of them I've ever shipped?

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Revachol Calling. God, I want to finish it so badly. There was a very specific something in me while I was writing it, and then a lot of everything happened. Anyway, I've lost it, that je ne sais quoi. I started replaying Disco Elysium again recently, so maybe it will come back. Here's hoping.

What are your writing strengths?

Imitation. Hearing the music in a sentence. Being fascinated by everything and bogging the reader down in necklaces of useless fact.

What are your writing weaknesses?

See above, turn it up to eleven.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?:

Not unless I'm reasonably fluent and confident in the language.

First fandom you wrote for:

Ghost Story, for Harry Potter, first posted in December 2018. It's surreal to think that it's been five years. What a strange five years.

Favorite Fic You've Written?

Either Revachol Calling (for Disco Elysium) or Blood, Bones, and Butter (for MDZS). I think there's something deeply personal about Revachol Calling that both makes me struggle with it but also resonate the most with it.

For Blood, Bones, and Butter, it was one of the more fun fics I've ever written and I really enjoyed being able to add layers to what the reader knew by simply adding an additional viewpoint, kinda triangulating their messy beginning through three men who are each extremely certain that they're correct. (Yeah, I'd watched Rashomon recently, why do you ask). That's the fascinating thing about songxuexiao for me, each of them is so certain they've got the others all figured out, but they're also all holding back aspects of their own interiority.

Either way, they're both important to me.

Tagging: @pearwaldorf, @et-in-arkadia, @danpuff-ao3, and anyone else who likes!

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kerubimcrepin · 9 months

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Liveblog 7: episode 4

Sorry for the long wait. First I had finals in uni, then I spent a week drinking and replaying disco elysium after celebrating new years eve, sooo yeah. But, for now, until the exams, I am back.

Let's begin! :)

Joris is so quick to find him and look at what he's doing. I love how dedicated he is to it. Kerubim is just... immediately tired.

Glad to know my fic's characterization of him being tired of Joris's questions the second they're asked is still holding true.

Very well said for the guy whose house even, after cleaning, is a major death hazard. But ok.

I LOVE YOU JORIS. I won't read too much into this, because there really isn't much here, but really, Joris knows how to manipulate Keke.

Manipulating adults is kinda THE thing kids have to learn. He's very good at this.

To come back to the past post's Lou Divorce Theorising, it's important to note that both of them were equally unhinged and prone to breaking up with one another. A very deep and meaningful relationship.

We will see later what he means by "It's not my fault I have fans," in the depictions of his relationship with her that aren't censored by him being the storyteller.

AKA the fact that mostly, it means him cheating on her. Lol. I'll talk about it during one of the most important episodes of this entire show.

Anyway,

The thing is that, despite how awful they are together, he really does love her.

He can't really stop playing the role of the macho playboy who gets all the chicks, even for love, because that's his entire self-esteem, but it doesn't mean the love isn't there.

(Something-something, I will elaborate on the role of masculinity in Kerubim's story, and how it worsens his already bad, uh... mental everything. But that's a talk for not-the-literal-fourth-episode-of-the-show.)

When he thinks about her, he thinks about her silliness first and foremost, instead of her looks. Even after they part ways, he blames himself for decades. And that's love.

To be fair to him, Lou can't stop manipulating & stringing him along herself. Neither of them is a very good person.

As I've said, thats a very, uh, deep and meaningful relationship they have here.

God, I really, really love the art style of this show.

"My very own puppy-girl was catomized" that's a whole ass new sentence that's never been said before.

ANOTHER character analysis moment: What really bothers Kerubim the most isn't saving his lover, but being The Hero, especially to her. And I really think it says a lot about him, even if he does love her.

He just immediately starts congratulating himself on being a good boy, and asking her if she also thinks he's a good boy. His self-esteem is so, so bad.

Another theme of the show that is introduced early on is luck, and Kerubim's relationship with it.

I think Ecaflip just got tired of watching Keke suffer, honestly.

She only likes him on her own terms. When she gets to make him feel indebted, or lucky, but not as if she were a damsel and he were her savior.

It makes their relationship sort of one-sided, but it's far from the thing that is most toxic about it.

Let me be pretentious about this for a second, since this shot composition WAS chosen by someone, and put into the show on purpose.

The whole shot, including the two of them, is blue: the color of being non-confrontational, stagnant, and predictable. It can mean honesty and deceit, being unforgiving or free, and most of all, it is a color that often represents sadness and loss.

They are walking on water here, which is the first thing that one might notice. I will not reference the bible, in a cartoon analysis, but it does conjure up connotations of being at one's prime, and having the strength to do anything.

In comparison to the clouds which surround them, they seem like giants, walking through the sea, which conveys well how his youth must have felt — the whole world is on a platter, and his strength was larger than life.

But the storm clouds surrounding them above and below, in turn, just seem even more giant and looming.

It also brings to mind the connotations of the saying "to have one's head in the clouds." Absentminded, unknowing of the facts of the whole situation.

Overall, this shot puts their relationship well: They were young, beautiful and capable together, travelling the whole world, — but in the end, their bond is marked by sadness, because they were never willing to address their faults in time, and it drove them apart.

And most importantly, the colors disappear when she slaps him, so in a way, it is a very romanticized view on things.

Pretentious tangent over.

This is our first clue in the show that Kerubim might lie and change the stories he tells, but it is also our clue to take what we are shown seriously regardless.

True, everything shown might be in-universe fiction, but despite Kerubim's narration, we get to see exactly what happened here. So it's best to just take things as they are presented, but with a small grain of salt.

There's something to be said about the way they are both walking towards more of these storm clouds, or the way she is walking to the left (in cultures with languages that go from left to right, characters walking to the left often symbolizes moving towards the past and stagnating), with him running after her, but eh. I think I may just be reading a lot into it.

It is still fun though, no?

This whole show, in a way, he is chasing the past, telling stories of their lost love. And in a way, he'll always be chasing after her, no matter how doomed their relationship was.

Though it's a very bleak depiction, compared to one that will follow later in the show.

...Perhaps, judging from some concept art, he'll keep chasing her that way, even centuries after she stops living. But that remains to be seen, if Waven takes us there.

If that's the case, it just adds a layer of tragedy to their relationship.

Even if she never left him, they wouldn't be able to live together forever. She was mortal. He is not.

And that's all there is to say on the matter, I suppose.

(This is a small edit from future me: Kerubim can't stop talking about Indie and Lou in Dofus MMO, even though it happens 200 years after the show. Which is depressing. But I'm still waiting for him to talk about them in Waven, to decide just how depressing this all is.)

#ep4 #wakfu #dofus #krosmoz #ro liveblogs dofus #kerubim crepin

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iantimony · 7 months

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BIG tuesday

i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!

listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.

pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib

i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.

and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.

pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.

i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.

reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves

watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.

friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.

playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.

making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.

so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.

some new bisque:

teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)

i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:

i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.

some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.

two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.

i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|

eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.

misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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sybilius · 8 months

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20 Questions for Writers

tagged by: @grand-magnificent thank you so much!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

108! Wow!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,047,840 words! I've been writing a while :)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My main right now is pro wrestling, currently NJPW with some AEW :) . I've got a lot of different ones on there, but The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is still top with 33 fics

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

burn this city, my first fic, lawlight for Death Note. Nothing special tbh.

ghost in the machine, my first longfic and third fic, also lawlight for Death Note and also nothing special.

acute gifts, which was a Beth Harmon / Benny Watts knifekink fic. I got in the Queen's Gambit tag very early and so it rose to the top. It's not too bad, not in my top 10 of my own fics but definitely quite charming.

sword and the pen, my second fic, lawlight for death note, nothing special.

Oesterle's Derealization Claim, a Disco Elysium Mathematicians AU. Cherished fic and I am so glad and proud it climbed the ranks to be top 5 :)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! I love responding to comments, it's not always right away but I do get there.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Intentionally? flowers grown in forgotten lungs, probably. Like in a lot of ways, that fic is about L giving up, knowing he's going to die, and saying "fuck that, I'll burn all my ideals and drag as many people as I can down with me". I think other fics that I've written have hit people harder, especially the ones that I intended to make a happier followup and lost energy for it. But that one was meant to be absolutely gutting.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm going to go with the most recent one I'm proud of and say blueprint drift, which I'm sure is more melancholy than some other ones but idk, I love the story that's there, I love to see Takeover lowkey husbanding.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally, I can't remember if there was anything too egregious? I've gotten a few passive-aggressive "why won't you finish this" pleas but I tend to shut that kind of behaviour right down.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah, though less than I used to. I really like writing new and weird scenarios and I've done a LOT at this point. Some of my top 3 weird ones were "skeleton threesome" "the cask of amontillado but it's kink" "spider/bat porn"

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

A few! My craziest is probably Blair Witch Project x The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: The Grey Desert Mythos. Still very proud of that fic!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! I have had a fic chapter podficced though, which was a transcendent experience: Static Contact [podfic]

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

SO many. SO many. That's probably why my word count is so high hehe

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

HMMM. In practice my favourite is whatever I'm obsessed with at the moment, in which case Jaykada (Jay White / Kazuchika Okada, NJPW). By the numbers? Blondeyes (Angel Eyes / Blondie, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm pretty good about letting go of things I don't think I'll finish, so there's nothing I'm holding out desire for at this point. I have a longfic cooking but at present I do think I'll get it together for it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, strong POV, thematic intensity. People say my settings are very evocative/atmospheric, which is flattering since I worked pretty hard on those.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Humor. I always feel so awkward with clown characters. I don't really do plotty works in the conventional sense, but I don't think that's a weakness, more of just an intention.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

So funny, I'm working on a fic with that right now! I would say the my practice is to write the dialogue however the POV character is able to understand it, and however they parse it. In my mind if you speak the language or know a solid translator, it's all right to actually "quote the dialogue" in its characters for the reader who can speak the language. If you don't, probably best not to use machine translation and only stick to vetted phrases if you can.

For the fic I'm writing right now, it's a lot of fun because the Okada/Jay series spans different stages of understanding they have of each other's language. In the young lion era fic, Jay barely speaks any Japanese, and Okada has patchy English but he's sort of limping along. In the current WIP, Jay's Japanese is better, but not perfect, and similarly with Okada's English. So they sort of speak to each other semi-fluidly and the gaps in understanding are written in the text. So it's fun to think about how in the later fic, Jay speaks fluent Japanese and exclusively talks to Okada in Japanese to keep his language skills sharp.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In another life, Batman. Specifically I was inspired by The Dark Knight but I based a lot of my work on the comics.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

My favourite fic is always my most recent, which was Shadow Gimmick (a FinJay Fic!). Barring that, the Grey Desert Mythos :)

tagging: @girlfriendsofthegalaxy, @jaimehwatson, @blizzardsuplex, @nagdabbit, @elphantasmo and if you wanna do it go for it!

#about my fic #tag games

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