#really proud of the finished product tho....

[sculkapologist]

We had a storage warehouse on our realm already, but I really wanted a space for plant-specific storage for the ten million oak leaves I inevitably need to save for custom trees -- so I built us a greenhouse! I think this might be the largest build I've done yet!!

A couple of things have labels, but for the most part storage spaces are delineated by the plants themselves -- barrels for a particular type of leaf have the corresponding sapling sitting on top, flowerboxes show off what kinds of flowers go in the barrels next to them, etc. I really wanted the space to have practical room to store EVERY PLANT, but to also feel like the primary purposes is growing and enjoying them.

And bonus planning sketches:

it took a LOT of planning -- these are just a few of the sketches I did trying to figure out where everything should go. IT WAS HONESTLY QUITE INTIMIDATING TO SORT OUT, I can't believe it's done!!

Also, a couple shots of the little dirt storage room just b/c I think it turned out nice too:

If you wanna watch me walking through the space (these screenshots don't quite show it all), I streamed a little tour recently over here!

[kithj]

my 2023 year in review:

published the most recent update for tnp in january

started work on hh originally in twine back in march

wrote and published one day hike in april

wrote and published faith in june for neo-twiny jam

refined hh as a novel instead and wrote the first draft between may-august

wrote and published siren's call in september

also started working on blood choke in may and published the prologue & ch1-2 in july, then ch3 in november

i started a few things that i haven't finished but will hopefully finish this year... bleeding heart will definitely be published within the next month for vampjamp.

i guess my hopes for this year will be:

finish bleeding heart in time for vampjamp (this will definitely happen)

finish the blackwater route for tnp and finally move on to ch3

ch4 of blood choke

workshop hell or highwater & decide what direction i want to take it in

start second draft of hh

[ros3ybabe]

Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[incognetomisquito]

GUESS WHO FINISHED

we got THE mist upon the hill by @ereborslionheart, a Widomauk fanfic where soulmates share their scars, and Caleb is the unfortunate damsel who has to bear through Molly’s recklessness. Dont let my summary fool you though, this fic is brutal and wonderfully angsty

Production rant under the cut :3

The cover is made of 100% genuine leather (according to the tag on the purse i bought at goodwill) and is embroidered with the colors of Molly’ jacket. The back embroidery is meant to mimic his tattoos, because of the whole soulmate thing involving skin.

The leatherbound book and the fire colored headbands were my nod to Caleb. (Plus, if you think of it, how fitting is it to have something of Caleb’s be covered in symbol’s of Molly) If im being honest, my first idea was to paint acrylic scars on the leather, but that pales in comparison to what i landed on.

Im really proud of the typesetting too, I’ve definitely improved since my last bind. (The fic is maybe 10k words longer, but literally almost the exact same size. Thats how much the margins improved)

AND i added a fan poem i wrote for the fic like 3 years ago for an english class. It was “write a poem about a book or piece of media” or smth. Ironically, the teacher accused me of plagiarism bc i put the name of the fanfic by it. I had to inform her that no, the fanfic in question is 70,731 words, my poem is about it, not directly it. Good poem tho, im still proud of it, and i figured itd make the beginning of the book feel more real.

I also put Devon Rue’s map in, specifically centered around where they’re running around in the book, which just simplifies to the Dwendalian empire.

I definitely couldve been more careful with my glue job, and the corners are gonna need protectors eventually bc i didnt cut them right, but overall i am really proud of this.

Hopefully by next book im using printed covers though because i dont know how many more custom fabric covers i have in me. I love them but my god are they tedious to make.

[class-1b-bull]

class B with a friend/SO who loves to draw and paint? and is really creative

anajabaisbsjsbsh

thank you 🙏

lord and saviour provider of 1B content

have a nice day :)

Thank you so much! Have a great day! <3

Also I leaned more towards the SO side on some of these but it could still be either or!

Not proofread we die like men.

Awase -

He LOVES watching your creative process when drawing and painting. If you start to pull out your sketch book or whatever he will try to look over your shoulder. Loves drawing little smiley faces in the corners of your art.

Sen -

His entire social media page is pictures of you, random ass scenery and your art work. Every time you finish a piece hes practically running to go take a picture of it. Hes so proud and it shows.

Kamakiri -

Honestly didnt care for the art at first until one day you doddled him or his favorite bug or something on a random piece of paper you found and now he adores your art. He doesent show it but he goes over the moon when you ask him what to draw

Kuroiro -

Hes really edgy about it. Everytime he sees you painting hes just like. "The jet black on the tip of your brush is represents my darkness tainting you, who is the pure white canvas..." or smthn and your just like "actually the background is just black on this one..." please let him be poetic.

Kendo -

Loves seeing the finished product but she loves it more if you show her the ugly stage first so she can see how much changed! She just loves watching your process and how each piece changes over time

Kodai -

She has a few pictures youve drawn hanging in her room but other than that shes not very interested in the actual process. She does like going shopping for supplies with you tho.

Komori -

The two of you make 3d art pieces together. You paint a painting and she grows mushrooms on the sides of it or on the canvas itself to make it look like pop up art <3

Shiozaki -

"$100 to paint jesus" she loves your art! If you ask her for suggestions theyre all gonna be either religion related or scenery because thats just what she likes the most. Shes also one of your biggest supporters!

Shishida -

He loves your art and he makes sure your at your best when painting! Thirsty? He'll make some tea or get you a glass of water. Hungry? Hes already making a sandwich. If youre about to accidentally drink your paint water he will point it out to you before you can.

Shoda -

Hes not one for art but he likes to help any way he can! If you ran out of a specific color he will go right to the store for you. Hes also getting your favorite drink while hes there just so you dont get thirsty!

Pony -

Theres two wolfs inside of her. One is saying to keep all of your amazing art forever. And the other says to watch people bid for it on e bay (with your permission) and sell it to the highest bid. No matter what she is always supportive of your art!

Tsubaraba -

Hes known to be a bit of a perv so if you do nsfw commissions, his wallet will always be empty.. even if you dont though he adores your art! There is no more room in his room for your works.

Tetsutetsu -

Has probably accidentally messed up some setting paint on a canvas and then grabbed a brush to try and fix it.... only making it worse. Poor dude almost cried when you caught him ngl. His life savings is going towards art supplies as an apology!

Tokage -

You two tag team every painting. Youre coming up with ideas while shes looking for good references. You say youll need some pink in a minute and shes already mixing it. Need paintwater cleaned or a pencil sharpened? Shes already doing it.

Manga -

You know that art challenge where you and a friend switch paintings every 10 minutes until your done painting, he LOVES doing those. He also just enjoys both of you silently drawing in the same room as eachother. The class fridge is full of you twos drawings.

Honenuki -

Anything that has your drawings on it he loves! Once you gave him a sticky note with a quick 15 minute drawing on it and he carries it with him EVERYWHERE! One of the pockets of his hero costume is that sticky notes dedicated pocket! After each drawing he will message your hand to stop any injurys from forming <3

Bondo -

Like Shishida, he just makes sure youre taking care of yourself while drawing or painting. What good is an amazing artist if your sick and cant draw.

Monoma -

"I could totally do that.." then you hand him the brush and suddenly he shuts up. Will talk shit about how easy art would be for him if he tried but he would fight anyone else that said it.

Reiko -

She coaxed you into drawing a creepy ghost once and she used her quirk to make it float and chase people around the dorms in the middle of the night. She now keeps that same painting on her wall <3

Rin -

I really like the idea of using his scales for textures idk why. Like imagine you just drag him away from whatever hes doing, you ask him to cover his arm in scales and you just start painting him yellow. He loves helping tho and if you ran out of room to store things in your room his dorm is always open!

When I was writing this I got a random flash back to me selling nsfw drawings to highschool students when I was in 5th grade. I dont remember what I charged but I ended up with about 2k by the end of the school year. :>

[o2studies]

༻`` 13 Mar 24 — Wednesday

100 days of productivity 56/100

So far I've gotten an A in Physics and Chemistry but we all know that the class pretty much failed our Maths mock. Gonna have math tomorrow and get at least half the paper back (I've got 2 teachers so had 2 papers to sit). I'm so so proud of my Physics score tho!! The time I revised really payed off and I ended up getting a much higher score than I expected!!! (again, tysm everyone who wished me luck on these 💕)

Finished getting over the corrections in Chem and my percentage was low but I know that I didn't try doing any questions in preparation and could've done more. Most of my mistakes were mostly stuff I just couldn't remember and I got most of the harder things right anyway. I know what areas to work on now too!

Didn't get writing any more notes today. I'm finding that I don't really k ow what to do with myself in the evenings and even sometimes afternoons, meaning I end up doomscrolling for hours. I'm thinking of journalling a bit about that and seeing what helps me be better with my time :) Oh and I've got exams in 2 months now so I've got to start pushing myself again! I'm definitely going to take more breaks and since I've got the time, take it slower so I don't go mad like this mock revision made me

[erythromanc3r]

Annual writing self-evaluation

I was tagged by @pipergirl17 (and I'm so glad she did - thank you, friend!)

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

Better Living Through Chemistry

Among the Willows

It ain't fiction, just a natural fact

kiss me where you bruise me

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I'm proud of all my children but I'm most proud of myself for writing Among the Willows because it really did start as just vibes and it ended up being a lovely little vignette of a moment in time that I put a lot of research and love into. Honorable mention to Better Living Through Chemistry because it was my first PWP and I personally thought it was a unique and fun take on sex pollen.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

[buzzer noise] I am proud of ALL my children!!!!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I loved this exchange at the tail-end of kiss me where you bruise me because it was a good exercise in writing some post-coital awkwardness between two people who don't know each other all that well while still acknowledging that there's the potential for something more there. And I needed Eddie to take any opportunity to be a little softer and sillier bc he desperately wants Chrissy to not see him as mean and scary!

“I’m…good,” he says, throwing his palms up and flattening his lips into a tight, awkward smile. He’s looking for his right sock — she knows it’s on the other side of the mattress. Chrissy doesn’t know if it’s rude or not to grab it, worried Eddie might think she’s pushing him out when she’s not quite sure where she’d prefer he be. The red light of the alarm clock on the bedside table burns a bright 1:37 into the dark when she asks another question, maybe just to cut through the awkward silence. “Are you okay to drive home? It’s late.” (Where is home for Eddie Munson, anyway?) He smiles to himself a little before he answers her. “Nah. I’m a bit of a nocturnal creature, actually.” He throws two hands up, fingers curled out like he’s doing a vampire pose during a game of charades. “Still got a couple hours left in me.”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

I'm a big fan of the incoherent flailing but I also really love when people engage with the details of the fic and tell me something they really loved about a particular line or description! I just love and appreciate getting comments in general!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

November. Something about that month just zapped the energy out of me. This seemed to be a hard time for a lot of us for one reason or another…I propose we move NaNoWriMo to like…March or June or something because November is NOT it.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I gained a lot of confidence. I stopped obsessing over every line being perfect because I would rather have a finished product that others can enjoy instead of a gorgeous, perfect wip that no one else can read. And now that I’m not chasing validation (both internal and external) the process is way less stressful!

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to be more consistent! I want to explore more outlining methods, write more productively…and I want to be a beacon for other writers who are new to the process because the community aspect is so important.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@staceymcgillicuddy is a rockstar of a writer whose work ethic amazes me. @pipergirl17 my angel in the comments your work is gorgeous and you’re so kind. Extra special shoutout to everyone who writes fearlessly and freakishly because we’re all better for it. And everyone who encourages writers to keep going!

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Wouldn’t you like to know? Ummm honestly though nothing super personal but it ain’t fiction came to me over nights of sitting on my couch watching old metal videos on MTV classic and wishing those two kids made it out of Indiana and got a shot at their dreams.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

The time will pass! Writing is vulnerable and embarrassing but I am more embarrassed by the years I spent not pursuing this hobby and letting all those ideas never leave my brain than by ANYTHING I’ve published.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I want to prioritize finishing all my multichapter wips…but I also want to explore more historical AUs.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

(But only if you want to 👉👈)

@justhere4thevibez, @toodivineforhumanmind, @0nemorestranger

[satankilledmyghost]

I NEED MORE WOLFIE😭😭😭😭😭

(Love you tho. Even if you don’t write anything, because hello it’s me, I’m proud to read the finished products heahaehehe)

OR GIMME (or us*) HEAD CANNONS OF THEM AT A FUNERAL. that would be something I would PAY to see.

For some reason, I kinda want to just be in the mind of one of them. Just for a day. Yknow? And I’m also debating starting the series over, and I could be texting you this, but hey, I’m bored and too lazy to switch tabs rn. If you do post this, I wanna say hi to everyone. Hit me up. Please. I need more people to appreciate the wolf without thinking I’m into some wattpad werewolf books.

BITCHHHHH I THOUGHT U WERE A RANDOM ASS DUCKLING SO I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT THE TEXTING PART ABBSJSNA. I DIDNT KNOW YOU CHANGED YOUR USERNAME😭

y’all, say hi to my bestie. she’s a fucking nutcase but we love her nonetheless <3

okay, one, fucking reread weak hero. or imma go to your house and find you. two, here’s your request, but go see your therapist. three, don’t hate on the wattpad- yeah, i- i can't justify those.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND FUNERALS, HEARTBREAK, ANGST?

weak hero characters reaction to your death/at your funeral

donald na

you know that one time where kingsley went into donald’s office and trailed off mid sentence because he noticed donald was eating a loaf of bread and zoning out??

that’s his reaction you dying

no emotions, no crying, just an empty, numb feeling in his chest and he can only think of you and not really focus on anything else

he'll be doing something and thoughts like “they would really like this” or “they would fucking hate this” or just picturing your reactions to something that donald’s doing in the current moment will cross his mind

he'll replay past conversations and interactions with you an unhealthy amount of times, suffering through tears. whether he wants to admit it or not, you had an affect on donald.

if you die tragically(say, beaten to death over union bs or jumped or whatever), he’ll punish those mother fuckers. no mercy.

donald'll be more salty and short-tempered to everyone around him. even kingsley isn’t safe.

donald misses you, and he longs to be in your presence one last time, even if it means listening to you complain about how cruel he runs his union.

jake ji

will bawl his eyes out and will probably have a psychotic break down.

he’ll be mental, how dare the universe take you from him?!

the one thing in his life that isn’t tied to the union, you were his little slice of life

a tiny piece of this world that isn’t cruel, someone he can go to.

sure, jake’s got dean and the guys, but they can be assholes sometimes. the one person that would always be there, arms open wide and endless love just for him, you, is gone. and it won't ever change.

all of those late, spontaneous nights at the parks, you pestering him to get him to study, pulling all-nighters watching anime, walking with you to and from school, your bright smile, your laugh, all of those times that you and jake cuddled close and fell asleep. these things will never happen again and jake can't handle that reality.

jake will call you, desperate and foolishly hoping that you'll pick up your phone. but all he ever gets is your voicemail. if you had access to your phone, it'd be voicemail after voicemail of jake violently sobbing into his phone, begging, pleading for you to come back.

wolf keum

his body will have a reaction to your death, but his mind won’t catch up.

with news of your death, wolf will start to tremble, his voice will be useless, and his body is super tense. he might even start crying.

but while all of this is happening, wolf won’t be feeling anything internally. his mind will run blank as he tries to process the fact that you’re dead.

wolf's emotionally numb and the only coherent thought he has is “oh, they’re dead. is this how someone’s supposed to react? what i’m doing now? why is there tears? i don’t feel sad? okay. they're gone. you're gone.”

he saw you this morning. wolf walked you to school. what happened? is this a sick joke?? cause if it is, wolf will beat your ass to death's doorstep himself.

but it’s not a joke and that slams him when he attends your funeral. wolf will be in the back of the room, hands stuffed into his pockets and eyeing your sobbing family and friends warily.

wolf doesn’t participate, hell, he can’t even bring himself to witness you getting buried, but he stays for the eulogy.

just hearing what your friends and family have to say about you kills him.

but it’s also almost like a peace offering at the same time. in what wolf hears about you via everyone else, he realizes that the you that you were around him was only for him. you showed him sides of you that none of these people knew about.

if wolf walked out of your funeral with anything that day, it was a minuscule glimmer of bitter sweet pride that he was the only one that got to love that version of you.

forrest lee

he’s just pissed off. permanently.

cries himself to sleep over you, is sweet to your family at your funeral, and stays through the whole thing

he doesn't know how to process these emotions. grape might lecture him about the 5 stages of grief, but forrest wouldn't be listening.

he'd dig himself a grave, drown himself in whatever he could get his hands on to escape reality.

forrest would pull the dumbest shit and end up driving Hyeongshin into the ground with his carelessness and get beaten a millimeter from death by donald's hands.

but as grape and robin watch on in complete horror and shame, forrest would be on the ground oddly content because maybe, just maybe, donald will deal that final blow and he'll get to see you again.

jimmy bae

he’s a giant softie, he’ll cry until he’s a human raisin as soon as he gets the news.

he won’t say anything to anyone, especially at your funeral. sure, he’ll talk to your family, but it’s short and quiet.

jimmy would definitely stand at your headstone hours after your burial ends. he won’t say anything, but he’s there. and he desperately wants to know if you’re there, too, sitting on your headstone or standing next to him, leaning into his side like you always did when you were alive.

jimmy always complained about you wanting physical affection, but he’d do just about anything now to hear you pout until he let you hold his hand on the walk to school just one more time.

big ben

you broke him. i don't know how else to explain it. ben's screams still haunt whoever was in earshot to this day.

ben's typical optimism and emotional maturity in tough situations will be thrown out the window.

he can't even take care of himself. ben will be too busy laying, numb, in his bed to attend your funeral, but gogo and the others would force him.

bens eyes are dead and he scarily resembles a corpse as he just exists while your funeral commences.

he's a husk of the person he used to be, though it'll take a long while before he's able to start living again.

though, ben will never be the same.

alex go

he disappears. no one knows where he went or if he’ll come back.

ben will try the ocean to see if alex is there, and the first few times he might be, but alex quickly gets sick of being brought back home to where you weren’t there.

alex thinks that if he isn’t in your neighborhood, walking by your school, your favorite store, that cafe you love, you aren’t dead.

it’s easier to process your death if alex is away from all the things that reminds him of you.

alex would drag himself to your funeral and would comfort your mother as your father holds his shoulder and talks about all the things you’d say about alex to them. your dads voice would be wobbly and your mother would laugh through rivers of tears and say how giddy you were after a date with him you’d be skipping through the rest of the week.

if, one day, he does come back, alex won’t say anything. he’ll focus on bettering himself because if he couldn’t protect you from death, what use does he have?

teddy jin

teddy spends his days inside with co. he’s quiet about your death, but not the concerning type of quiet.

it’s almost like teddys pondering why you died, though the cause of your death is public knowledge.

oddly, teddy processes and gets through his grief healthy. he does become more quiet than he was before.

like jimmy, teddy would stand for hours at your burial site. he just can’t nail the reality that you’re gone, even though he sat through and talked at your funeral.

gerard jin

gerard would be suicidal. if he can’t bear the idea that his friend couldn’t perform in his band for one year over burned hands, gerard wouldn’t survive news of your death.

he wouldn’t touch his guitar, and his voice is too weak without you to sing.

he attends your funeral, though, and he tries his hardest to gain the strength to talk to your family.

his mom would hand him your journal/note that you wrote, adamant that this is something he needs to read.

and he does, but he wishes to god that he didn’t.

you wrote to him and about him. every little thing that you two did together, gerard’s quirks that you loved. hell, you even poked fun at him one time or another.

he clings to your words and there’s months of grief in store for him.

when gerard finally starts to get over your death, he’ll write the most beautifully grim song about you.

gray yeon

we’ve all experienced what stephan ann has done to gray, so his reaction to you dying will be almost the exact same.

but this time, gray has friends. ben and alex would help gray start to get back into living again. those two would take him out, starting small and hopefully working back up to what he usually would do before your death.

eugene and gerard would be the silent supporters, eugene being more apt to confront gray and directly asking him what he needs.

rowan and teddy are the two idiots in the corner trying to be serious, but rowan fucks it up and gets smacked by teddy. they’re a distraction for gray, even if for a moment, but a welcomed one.

gray would write to you, telling you about his day and what’s been going on that you’ve missed.

once he’s finished writing to you, he’d walk to your grave and set it down, a small part of him hopeful that somehow you’ll be able to read it.

once he’s more comfortable around your tombstone, gray will take time to sit down and talk to you instead of letters.

eugene gale

poor baby doesn’t know what to do :(

eugene would close up and shun everyone around him.

he’d be mute and refuse to open up to anyone, deciding that suffering in silence is the best way to go instead of bothering everyone else with his grief.

eugene might go as far as to be hostile to ben and everyone else, and that’s when they know something is wrong wrong.

eugene is in desperate silence at your funeral, grasping at air to try and stop himself from crying.

he takes notice of the flowers at your eulogy, oddly. you had never stated what you like regarding flowers, if you liked them at all, so eugene found it odd that there were extravagant bouquets for you.

but when he visits your grave, he’ll bring different types of flowers and, depending on how well the grass above your casket is growing, find out which ones you like.

there’s no logic to this, eugene is aware of that, but it’s something that reassure eugene that you aren’t totally gone.

after months, eugene would sit at your grave and rattle off facts and stories to your head stone just like he did when you were alive.

rowan im

rowan could barely survive through your funeral, having to leave multiple times from sobbing, and visiting your grave is unbearable right now.

he would force himself to stay bright and cheery. he’s the type to make sure that nothing that bothers him will show.

he needs to stay that one friend that can make everyone laugh, ya know?

but more and more, rowan’s grief would seep onto his mask and the group would definitely notice.

it’d start with one quiet day, and then the jokes are less and less, and then for a whole week rowan just gives up.

how’s he supposed to function when you’re gone? you’re his number two, the one person who would go along with his shit and have fun.

how’s he supposed to find fun in mundane things now if you’re not around??

[studyingpookie]

12/100 days of being productive

What I did today:

-went for the walk

-watched Liver leaf (fricked up💀)(I hate almost all characters) it's brutal as hell so I don't recommend it if you are sensitive to these type of films ☝️

-read one chapter of the book

Yesterday I planned next week in my calendar that I'm slightly proud of. Not gonna show it tho because it's too private.

My teacher also gave me this sweet cupcake-ish thing I dunno how it's called but that was really sweet of her 😊

Tbh I didn't have time to do anything, at school I finished my interior design project (almost just couple small changes) I left school earlier because I just wanted to lol 🙏 Went back home had dinner, rot in bed and started watching the film. I cleaned my room once again, packed everything for the weekend 😊 Late at night I read one chapter of the book and that's it 🪷

Okay guys the film was fricked up. Like really. I dunno what to think about it 💀 I dunno if I recommend it. If you are sensitive to brutal actions totally leave it trust me.

Have a good night! 🪷

[life-with-gigi]

3 out of 100 days of productivity

જ⁀➴date: October 17, 2023

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 goals for today: 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ - finish entrep script - start ppt for entrep

―୨୧⋆ ˚ entry: - we did a tiny experiment for our physics today, and i got assigned for presenting it. i'm a bit proud of myself, because i really struggle with reporting. i thought i was about to die, but i'm fine. <3 - there were a lot of things that were stopping me from just doing my tasks, so i chose to sleep for the most part of the day. i still finished it tho ^^

[daz4i]

suicidal+generally negative bullshit under the cut 🫡

guys i'm gonna be so fr with you i am basically working on autopilot at this point. ik i am very much on what's considered the right path and i'm doing a lot for the purpose of getting better but my heart's not really in it lol. i just do it bc it feels like i have no choice, dying is unfortunately not an option and i got bored of doing nothing else. but i really wish i had any reason to be doing any of this beyond boredom. esp given how much energy i'm putting into it while still feeling like shit and wanting to kms on a daily basis 🥲

maybe if i felt like i have a shot at greatness. but i know damn well mediocrity is the best i can aspire for (actually that's one of the biggest reasons i want to die lol)

bc of my bpd i can't exactly love people normally, i can either be at 0% and slightly above it, maybe at most 40% of love for my favorite people (which is a lot by my standards, like almost everyone in my family can't break 20%, for example), but i have 100% too except that's just pure obsession. and it feels good even tho i know it's toxic and unstable. that's my only way to feel a positive emotion strongly. so maybe if i had someone i could be (mutually) obsessed with

maybe if i was able to create things i could feel proud of. unfortunately due to me being their creator, i already hate them by default

like i wish i had. anything. beyond the need to stop being bored. it's not sustainable. i know i'm gonna crash hard soon bc this is simply not enough gas to run on, and i'm doing a looooot of running on a device (aka my body. and brain) that was not designed for that as is

i don't even have little things to look forward to bc i can't care about anything 😭 like my mom keeps asking me what i wanna do for my birthday so we can maybe set smth up with my siblings but i genuinely. don't want anything enough to bother. i see people talk about being excited abt a game or new season for the show they like and the whole "i can't die until i finish x" stuff but i was never good at that. i tried it before and as soon as the thing ended i was back to being suicidal as fuck. the whole point of that method is to keep finding more little things so it never ends but i struggle to even find one so that's once again not sustainable at all

i'm gonna be alive until march 25th bc i committed to giving a lecture on the 24th. that's it. i don't wanna screw them over. but after that...? i don't have a lot of things to commit to. i might be in some theater production if i pass my audition this wednesday but that'll just end a few months later too. and it's not like i could get into anything else in the real world lol

there's just no reason to be doing any of this and it's... really hard to be doing stuff when you have no reason, i can't do it for the little things, how am i supposed to do it for literally life at large. i was gonna say it feels impossible but nah it'll be more right to say it IS impossible 🥲 no hope for me 👍

[fenimores-book-nook]

Day 12 of self care writing!

December 6th, 2023, Wednesday 9:51 pm In my room with candles burning, an Arizona green tea, and hot cheetos. :)

Gooooood evening, a late one once again but that's alright. I was debating on doing a self care writing tonight but then I decided to after I got off facetime with my besties. Since I'm not going to college, I don't have homework like most of my other friends so my "homework" is this. Except, I actually want to do it. So it isn't really homework. Well, it's mental health/self care homework. ;)

Events of the daaaaay ~

6:30 am - 1:00 pm, I woke up, did some morning yoga, and got dressed/ready for work. Left for work and, well, worked until I got off at 1. I think work was pretty good today, it was sort of a slow day but that gave me plenty of time to start working on my friends' Christmas illustrations I'm making for them! I got two friends' ones done today. One of them is Taylor Swift themed and has the lyric: "I love you to the moon and to Saturn" on it. That lyric is used by us a lot, so it's kind of a thing between us. :) Then, the second one that I finished is The Owl House themed. I copied this photo I found on pinterest/from the show and made my own drawing of it:

Because that friend is the only one out of my friends that has watched The Owl House and we both love it. *OWL HOUSE SPOILER AHEAD* We also act like siblings together so I'm convinced that we are versions of Luz and Hunter in our universe. Since they basically become "chosen siblings," or, well, yeah, I'd say Hunter becomes a Noceda by the end. So of course, I had to incorporate that into a Christmas gift. ;)

1:30 pm - 7:00 pm, after work I grabbed lunch and headed home. Then I kind of just chilled, watching Doctor Who. A bit after, I took a shower and changed into comfy clothes and worked on my illustrations and watched Wizards of Waverly Place until my mom came home from work and we headed to the vet to pick up Charlie; our doggo. He got 'fixed' today, poor thing is probably tired out. When we came back home, I chilled a bit more and ate supper, then headed up to my room to just *ahhhhhhh.* You know?

7:30 pm - 9:30 pm, I was on facetime with my besties chatting about when we wanted to get together for Christmas, before some of us leave for the holidays. Which was a much needed facetime. Every time I facetime my friends it always brightens my day in the perfect way. After we got a date set and chatted for a while most everyone got off the call except for me and one of the besties, so we stayed on for quite a while longer and just talked about random things. It was so silly and great, I loved it. :)

My babes, Delilah, from this morning when she was very comfortably sitting and cleaning herself like this on my bed. (she's such a pretty lil' baby tho)

Self care writingggggg ~

Three things that I am proud of myself for today: One, for completing two illustrations for my friends! Even if it wasn't "for me," in a way it sort of was, because I really enjoyed illustrating them. :) Plus, I've been wanting to do more illustrations. Two, for putting in some of my therapy things into actual practice. It was a little difficult but hey, I tried and that's something to be proud of. Three, for trying to get myself out of an iffy mood instead of just letting my moodiness take over. Even if it included watching silly little tik toks that make me laugh, it counts.

Two things that happened today that I don't want to forget: One, how I remembered the feeling of how much love I feel towards musicals and just productions in general. They make me so happy and seem so magical to me. Like, MAGIC. The cast, the writing, the music, the SHOW. Magic. Two, how I felt when I was facetiming my friends and after too. I felt like that was the thing I needed to make my day really great. <3

One thing that I should recognize more: How lovely my life really is. Not necessarily the things that make my life "easier," but the things that just, make my life. The lovely things.

Chip and Dale Christmas gif for you because Christmas is ONLY IN 19 DAYS. :D

Have a lovely night/day/afternoon, you lovely human.

Until next time,

Thalia <3

[xerospaced]

So it's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to attempt this course that should have been completed in 12 weeks. And I've only just finally submitted the assessment of my second unit (2 of 4). I did actually submit it initially on schedule but I was asked to add some info. And then after doing that was asked to add yet more info to another question! Ma'am!!

Anyway. This is not really anything to be proud of (to most anyway) but I am proud. I have attempted to get back to work on this course for a HOT minute. And each time I have sat down or tried to sit down to work on it I have ultimately failed and done, nothing.

Today, I actually REMEMBERED that my tutor had given today as a deadline to add this additional info as it was only a small amount required. Thankfully I remembered coz I had no reminders set, nor did I note it anywhere.

But, after having less than three hours sleep due to my period crippling me late into the night and a contractor turning up first thing to work on my en suite (which he didnt finish til about 1), and then - when I was finally thinking about decompressing in my space alone for a grip before approaching this task - I had to take my ma to the doctor on a last minute urgent thing.

I handled both disruptions incredibly well. Brought my ma home and went out to cop me some energy drinks and a couple snacks coz I'm still trying this maintaining glucose levels thing and I knew I needed to work.

I very almost started gaming when I got back in coz I cant stand going from external thing to focused thing without a transitional period. But I knew I was running the risk of getting sucked in.

Instead, I kept in my ear buds, danced around, started on my energy drink (and a cheeky glass of moscato) sat down to work - laptop tried to beef me so I got myself prepared for the task I had to approach while it sorted itself out. Got distracted by a linkedin email and found myself on the app job searching. Yes, productive. No, not conducive to the matter at hand.

Hennyway, I managed to shift my focus back to the assignment. Did one part and was gonna take a one song break (coz pressure from Encanto came on shuffle and I'm not gonna work through that coz like I NEEDS to belt) but ended up pausing it while I prepared the second part. Then ended up just completing the second part and submitting and now I'm done.

And sure, all in all, it was about ten to fifteen mins of work. And yeah, it's a relatively minor thing in the grand scheme of things. But still! I did something and focused when I intended to and stopped myself getting distracted and stayed on task.

I will add that part of what helped the transition was D asking me if I'd submitted my poems for the competition yet just before I headed to the dr. [As established, deciding to work on my poetry was that THING I needed to get excited and motivated] It set me in a space where I was wanting to be productive. I sent him a few poems for his insight. He doesn't do poetry and all that so it was an odd choice but he is also not afraid to be critical and won't just tell me everything is great (also he gave v positive feedback to the poem which is like... the crux of me and the manuscript I'm gonna put together so omfg YES)

Long long long ass post coz I'm typing on my surface and not as limited as when I'm on mobile, plus typing speed lord jesus.

Anyway, I'm proud of myself. And even tho D didn't provide any overt or particularly hands-on application of accountability/responsibility, he did put my attention on a worthy task, and the best one he could've to kick me into gear.

[butterscotch-brigade]

sooo i finally watched invader zim enter the florpus!! i was gonna wait until i finished the comics first but then i saw that apparently clembrane appears in the comics after the movie?? and i didnt want to risk getting spoiled bc yknow. the movie is when he First Appears so i thought id watch it before picking the comics back up again.

anyway, here r my thoughts on the movie down below!!

it was....pretty good!! there were a LOT of positives for me, but ultimately one major thing that i really wish could have been done better (but we'll get to that in a bit). again, i liked it, i thought it was a good movie! im gonna list all the things i especially liked followed by the things that kinda bothered me a bit so bear with me lol

positivies:

i know this is an Unpopular Opinion, but i actually rly like the art style!! i still think the show's designs r better, but i rly RLY liked how vibrant and smooth the animation was in this film. plus movies based on animated series already tend to have a slightly different art style anyway (the spongebob movies and the mlpfim movie come to mind) so i didnt mind the change. add to that the fact that this movie came out 17 years after the shows cancellation and its no wonder that jhonen vasquez's art has changed since then, plus i'd imagine there was a much bigger art/animation team this time around. anyway ofc i rly loved the part where they Enter The Florpus (lol get it) and go thru all the different art/animation styles, i loooovee stuff like that and i think every animated production should do smth like that at least once solely bc i love it so much. for me

clembrane is rly funny and i love him. im glad hes here now. dib and gaz have TWO dads

PROF. MEMBRANE WAS SO FUCKING COOL????? like omg i was NOT expecting him to be so badass in this???? when he shot the giant fucking Laser Blast out of his arms and wiped out all those robots my jaw DROPPED i was in SHOCK!!!! he was hiding all that power this whole time????? DAMN no wonder hes considered one of the most important scientists on earth

the humor was really fucking funny as always w iz LOLLLL there were multiple points that made me laugh out loud. special shoutout to the callback they made to mortos der soulstealer where zim and dib are yelling at each other and zim keeps going "WHAT????" ASKDJALSKDJ thats one of my fav jokes from the show so im glad they did that here

gir aka my fav was SOOO CUUUTEEE his stupid little peace song was so funny and adorable, i love p much everything he does in this movie as usual SDKJFLDSKJ gir my beloved

even if i have some issues w it (which we'll get to shortly), i DO like seeing that dibs family really do care for him, particularly prof. membrane. hearing him say he was proud of dib did make me smile

im not entirely sure how i feel abt the tallests canonically dying, but i do think its a funny way to kill them off and end their story. like.....ofc they die bc theyre too entitled to steer their spaceship. what else would they die from SAKFJLSDKJ

all that being said, there was one major thing that kind of bugged me a bit, as well as a few minor nitpicks.

negatives:

starting off with my biggest issue, and this might be a confusing one for some, but let me explain: in my opinion, compared to the show, this movie felt just a bit too.....sanitized? "feel-good"-ish? ....happy?? now just hear me out. a large part of what made invader zim so appealing, especially to that older tween/young teen crowd (many of whom fell into the emo subculture), is the fact that, compared to other kids cartoons at the time and even today, it was a very mean-spiritied, cynical, pessimistic show. the main protagonist is a villain trying to take over the world. his rival is the show's antagonist, so audiences may find themselves rooting against him even tho hes trying to save the world. gaz is on no one's side but her own and frequently bullies her brother and does not care what happens to zim. and it works!! thats a key factor in why so many people, myself included, like the show. it isnt afraid to have unhappy/unsatisfying endings, and there are very few "happy" moments (aside from gir, ofc, who is a fan favorite for this reason; his happiness in spite of the dark world around him is a great source of irony and genuine enjoyment). and i feel like this movie lacks a lot of that cynicism and bitterness from the show, yknow? like....i like dib and i want him to succeed, but part of his appeal is knowing that he never will, or at least not in the way he wants. we want dib's family to recognize him, we want gaz to show that she still loves him, and we want prof. membrane to say that hes proud of him. but.....invader zim is not really the type of show. i understand that this is ofc a movie for kids, but again, part of what made the show so appealing was the fact that it was so dark WHILE still being for kids. the closest thing we get to any kind of "mean-spiritedness" is the tallests deaths, which, while deserved and executed in a funny way, only happens at the end. idk i just felt like this movie was kinda....playing it "safe" compared to the show it was based on yknow. but thats just my opinion idk i swear im not one of those "WHOA look at how DARK and EDGY this show is!!! that proves that its NOT FOR KIDS" types, i just feel like the overall tone was a bit lacking compared to the source material

NOW onto the nitpicks!! these werent rly major flaws that interfered w my enjoyment of the movie, just stuff that mildly irked me (lol get it). for starters i wish tak was there :( i know she was originally planned to be in the movie but they had to cut her for time constraints which is fair. still i miss her so much. tak my beloved come back to me

another nitpick, but pretty much the only other thing that i didnt like abt this movie and its SUPER minor: i dont like how frequently gaz's eyes are open throughout this movie?? ALKSJFSDLKLKDS I KNOW THATS A WEIRD THING TO COMPLAIN ABT LMAOOOO i swear it doesnt actually bother me that much but it was kind of distracting. the reason gaz's eyes are almost always closed is to add to that angry, apathetic look she always has; it conveys her personality. when her eyes DO open, they're large and cute, which is a nice contrast to her normal appearance and makes these scenes in the show/comics have more comedic impact. here, they're open a bit too frequently for my liking, and i think it made me perceive her character differently. i think she should have been grumpier LOLLL but that kind of ties back into my first point

but errmm yeah!! despite the block of text i just wrote i still rly liked this movie!! in terms of continuations to the show, however, i think i prefer the comics, although again i have not finished reading them. i just feel like theyre closer in attitude to the original show and have a lot more interesting story ideas. but again, this movie is not bad!! there were a lot of things i rly do like abt it!! im pretty easy to please tbh.

overall id say this movie has like.....7.5/10?? maybe?? its still a good movie and id probably watch it again if given the opportunity. theres a lot of cool things about it and i did enjoy myself watching it. thats just my Onion tho, lmk what u think abt it if youve seen it :) just pls be civil if u disagree w anything i said, i like hearing other ppls perspectives on things!!

[constermonster]

How are your current cosplay builds going??

I don’t remember mentioning my cosplay build on here LOL maybe ur from ONE OF MY OTHER SOCIALS!?!!?!? but THANKS FOR ASKING ANON!

I’m currently making Kuki Shinobu from Genshin impact! She’s the first cosplay I’ve ever made, and I’m aware that picking a Genshin cosplay to make BY HAND for ur first cos isn’t a great idea, but I thought I’d b good coz I’m an artist HAHAHAH

I made a bunch of plans and broke down her fit so that it would b easier to make but I didn’t really follow them exactly as I’d planned

It’s progressing pretty slowly hahahah coz I’m really bad at sewing and it’s one of those things that u gotta practice to get better at :/ who would’ve known. So I sew when I visit my parents house coz my mum pretty gud with sewing so she helps me out. Thanks mum ❤️

Im going home for Christmas soon so I can carry on with it and hopefully get the bulk of the sewing finished over the Christmas holidays!

Here’s a pic of the shirt I made so far!! I’m super proud coz I’m notoriously bad at sewing and I managed to make this yayyyyyyy! Still gotta hem it and make the boob window and add all the accessories etc but I thought it was a gud start!!

I still gotta sew the rest of the outfit ha ha I literally redid the gloves like 5 times it’s ridiculous sewing enrages me so much but it’s so rewarding to be able to wear what you’ve made at the end!! It’s so valuable!

I’m not great at sewing, but I’m pretty ok at crafting? It’s my first time working with foam but I’m usually quite good at making 3D objects (I got an A in product design in high school 😎)

So when I’m in my flat I’ve been making a start on her armour pieces! Here’s the knee armour I’ve made for her!

I’ve made 2 of them but I rage quit the 2nd one coz I stuck something down wrong so I have my insane scribblings all over it telling me how to fix it LMAO when it’s painted it’ll b reyt

For her small tiny details I wanna use my schools 3d printer coz some of my friends have used it to print cosplay stuff b4 which is EPIC! I wish I had a resin printer tho, those r epic!

It’s going pretty slow because I have school + I can’t afford to buy any more resources like filler/ primer/ paint to finish off making these knee pads so I’ll do it when I’ve got more money lol

But I plan to have it finished by spring next year so I can enter a competition with it!! I wanna get it finished asap coz there’s so many other cosplays I wanna make aaaaaaa

[ddarker-dreams]

hi hi lock!! i was wondering if i could ask for some writing advice? TT

i've been writing for years now, but i'm currently working on my very first longfic! i'm about 40.000 words in right now (final product will prob be somewhere slightly below 60k), but it definitely has lots of heavy editing left to be done. i've got a solid idea of where i want the plot to go and where and when everything that's left is going to happen (very rough first draft writing). u might be wondering what the problem here is,,

i'm trying to hold off from posting anything until the whole fic is fully finished cuz that's the Best Way of doing stuff but my silly little monkey brain wants the validation so badly at this point!!!! i wanna put the first chapter out there!! OTL i've been working on this almost daily for the past two months or so, putting all other requests on hold, and i want to share this with the world so badly!! but the thing is i'm really worried that i'll want to change details/things once i've posted them,, like i'll suddenly think of a new plot element later or wanna chance parts of reader's characterization, tho I think it's unlikely at this point TT

is this something you've struggled with yourself? or do you just have any thoughts on the subject?? i would appreciate anything, tyvm, blowing u a kiss!

FIRST OFF !!!!!!!!!! congratulations on getting to 40k words, that really is no small feat, and you should be proud of yourself because man. that's a novel right there. i can't overstate how amazing that is. 🎉🎉🎉

as for your dilemma, i understand all too well hjtkgemr i have such a difficult time with long series partially because of that reason. finding the motivation to trudge through everything without feedback can be really hard. especially when you want to mention some elements of it, then while actually working on the story, you change your mind and feel bad for scrapping the idea after hyping it up 😭... i know i've said it before, but i have the utmost respect for people who write series. good god.

hm... i feel bad because i don't have much solid advice and don't want to accidentally say something detrimental... if you think you have the first chapter really ironed out, posting it and receiving the blessed Serotonin Boost™ from feedback seems like a good idea to me. some of my all time favorite writers go back to edit their earlier chapters. imo, there's nothing wrong with doing this. if anything, it's cool that we have that option. it's like... gaming patches but for writing... version 1.1.

i'm sorry that this probably wasn't very helpful, but i hope there is at least a little something of use here hjkrtme