#recurring experience for me but hey

[quinn-pop]

*draws magolor again* *draws magolor again* *draws magalor agai—

[isan0rt]

Good Lord. Okay. Listen. We all agree that pre-timeskip Houses Dedue is not doing so great in the mental health department. We all agree on that. My guy needs therapy about his survivor's guilt and his PTSD and we're all agreed his self deprecation is Intense but like.

Listen. You can't…address that without also acknowledging he's like that because people have been Fucking Racist To Him Constantly for the Last Four Years of his Goddamn Life. And not like, just ‘microaggressions at the workplace’ racist, though also that too. Like, ‘somebody might fucking murder him’ kind of racist. He's not just insecure or whatever. This man is trying not to get hate-crimed.

It's rational, actually, for Dedue to assume that Any Given Faerghan is gonna be racist to him, because before going to Garreg Mach every given Faerghan except Dimitri HAS BEEN super mega turbo racist to him everywhere he goddamn goes. There's no reason for him to believe his classmates are gonna be different. Like, he doesn't know Mercedes is from the Empire! He has no reason to believe Chivalrous Knight Fanboy Ashe doesn't hate Duscur and everyone from there for regicide. Annette is the only one with a pass and only because Dedue respected Gustave until he went out for cigarettes and never came back, abandoning not only Dimitri but also Dedue in the process. The safest thing is to assume people are gonna come at him hot and preemptively deescalate the situation.

Like, he suffers from the “you can get C and B supports after the time skip” weirdness for sure, but even in his C supports, even if you get them before the skip, he is fully willing to tell Felix where to stick his fucking grapes, and he's willing to tell Ingrid she can be as big of a bitch about it as she wants but he's still going to do his job on the battlefield even if that means keeping her alive. He's consistently assertive of his boundaries with Dimitri in all their supports, including when Dimitri wishes that he did not have a particular boundary (using Dimitri's name and calling each other friends, things it's actually physically not safe for pre timeskip Dedue to do).

Because he is confident Dimitri isn't gonna fucking lose his mind at Dedue about it. He's also confident Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain won't do a hate crime at him if he's acting in capacity of Dimitri's Vassal because of their fundamental loyalty to Dimitri, so he can safely tell them to shove it also. He tells Gustave he's a disappointment to Gustave’s face in their support!! Dedue isn't just a shrinking violet or whatever, he's just judicious about what shit he's gonna start, and how likely it is that talking shit is gonna get him hit.

(Also, yes he's a quiet guy... But also he's interacting with all these people in his second language, which he has no formal training in and which he learned from Dimitri. He really has to think about what he's going to say before he says anything because there is very little margin for error for him to misspeak without consequences and he knows it.)

Honestly unpopular opinion because like while I'm under no illusions that they did clearly fake out killing him for reasons other than his personal growth, I actually think it was in Dedue's personal best interest that he spent the timeskip in Duscur. This man hates Faerghus, he says that to Dimitri in their supports, but he's been stuck with them and having to just put up with it because he had nowhere else to go (even aside from the fact that Dimitri is literally the only living person in the world who loves him and he's terrified of losing that).

He's very clearly much more self-actualized when he returns, and in a much more relaxed and self-assured emotional place after the timeskip. Probably because he wasn't the one and only Highly Visible Do A Racism Here target and instead was with his own community, where he could actually unpack all that shit safely. Dedue needed that time outside the Racist Aggression Bubble of Faerghus to deal with his survivor's guilt properly.

You really can't address Dedue's self-image issues without also digging into the way dealing with constant racism reinforces those issues. You super cannot. Race and racism and how he deals with it is critical to the character. Is it always handled gracefully by the narrative?? No, absolutely it's not, but it is in fact in the narrative and you HAVE to engage with it if you're going to engage with Why Dedue is Like That.

[volk-swag-genitalia]

the prophetic dreams are getting much more concerning

[mvltisstuff]

Could i request for a Conrad fisher X reader where reader has a younger sibling who gives her a hard time and her parents favour her younger sibling more. It's the reader's bday on the same day as belly's and her family doesn't get her anything and they don't bother with an excuse either and say they don't really care abt her so it doesn't matter. So Conrad comforts her later and if u don't mind u could include some smut at the end?

(this is my situation rn lololol but without Conrad to comfort me😭)

matilda - c.f

summary: request

conrad fisher x reader

a/n: i’m so sorry love, sorry this is a few days late but you are so loved and appreciated no matter what, hope this makes you happy today <3

it’s been a recurring theme for most of y/n’s life. the overheard quotes about the older sibling had eventually become a reality. they didn’t even wait for y/n to try and live up to them. instead, they just accepted that their daughter wasn’t as good as the rest of their children.

as upsetting as it is, kids experience it too much. y/n experiences it every day, so when she realized it wasn’t normal, that’s when it started to hurt more every year.

this day was supposed to be different. she was so excited, turning 18 and finally being an adult. free of her parents if she wanted to be. she thought that maybe, just maybe, her parents would think of her for a day, and make it about it. alas, the second she woke up and walked into the kitchen, y/n’s hopes were shut down.

“y/n, can you take y/b/n to practice? i’m going out with sharon today,” her mom said, barely even looking at her.

“uh, i’m leaving in a bit, remember?” she speaks, trying to sound as polite as possible. “the fishers invited me over for today.”

“hon, we get it,” her dad talks next, peering up over his glasses and newspaper of the town. “but, to some point, it’s just another day. just do what your mother asked.”

y/n looks at her little siblings at the table, messing around and receiving no repercussions. she still remembers when that was her. playing with her parents, happier than she ever was again. she loves her siblings to death, but she loves herself, too. y/n deserves more than she’s been given, so she confides. she drives her brother to whatever practice, wishing him luck as he whispers a happy birthday, then jumping out of the car to see his friends.

she’s already dressed up for the party for belly. the fishers had welcomed her with open arms, even having decorations and sweets for her on the table. everyone figured she’d have something going on at home, but oh, they were so wrong. she didn’t receive a single birthday message from the people who gave her life, so did it matter? even if she didn’t believe it, at least the fishers knew she was worth it. she was dressed in one of her best outfits, a simple dress with small flowers printed over. she had small wedges and her hair was done neatly. she felt pretty, she is pretty.

she walked into the house, belly hearing the door open first. she skips toward, engulfing y/n in a huge hug. “y/n!” she squeals. “happy birthday!”

“oh, belly! happy birthday to you, you look so cute!”

“are you kidding? your man’s gonna go wild when he sees you!” she whispers, making y/n blush toward the end.

“belly, stop!” she nudges. “he’s not my man… yet.”

they giggle together before moving back into the kitchen where y/n greets susannah and laurel, along with the rest of the boys. conrad stands up first, in a heartbeat. he walks over, almost lifting y/n off the ground in a hug.

“hey! happy birthday!” he tells her, excitedly as he pulls away. jeremiah comes piling in next, saying his words to the person he considers a sister.

“didn’t y/m/n have anything planned?” susannah asked from the pure kindness in her heart.

“oh,” y/n mutters. “we, uh, we did something yesterday.”

conrad can tell when y/n lies. he can read her like a book at this point. he’s spent so long fanboying over her that he knows what she’s feeling. when she’s sad, excited, pissed, he knows. it pulls at his heart when he can sense the disappointment in her voice. he starts to get more alarmed with every drink she takes throughout the day. she’s not even a big drinker, never really taking an offer. now he’s positive somethings wrong.

if y/n’s parents didn’t care about her, they don’t care if she drinks, right? she’s with her friends, she’s allowed to. plus. it’ll take the edge off of the internal wounds her parents have left her with. her feelings on the whole matter start to disintegrate for a while, until belly’s cake comes out and is handed to her. it’s so nicely done, perfect detail and so much love. they put time into her cake and party, and y/n can’t help the jealousy rising up. she vividly remembers every one of her younger siblings birthdays. all of them having their friends and a party, while y/n was just locked in her room on her birthday. the presents and the cheesy grins from everyone were overwhelming every year. she couldn’t help but think about what it could be like with her real family. maybe they could love her as much as she deserves, but in reality, they won’t. they can, but they chose not to, which hurts even more.

y/n stumbles around on the balcony, around people while carefully savoring every last drop of whatever is in her can. she’s probably had too many, but she doesn’t care. it’s almost like it’s reversed itself now. she watches belly open all of her presents and receive hugs and kisses, and the lump in her throat becomes thicker. she thinks of the alcohol as her enemy now, just bringing back the thoughts in her sober mind.

it’s not until everyone hears the clicking of y/n’s heels on the pavement that they notice her walking away. her hand is swiping away the loose tears and everyone looks at conrad. if there’s anyone y/n wants to see, it’s him. they’ve been in love for so long, it’s almost painful to watch. as she walks away, blurry vision from the alcohol and the tears, she tries to grab another can from the box before a hand stops her.

“i don’t think that’s a good idea,” conrad says, gently taking it out of her hand and landing it back in the box.

“oh, great. more fuckin’ judgment,” she retorts, making conrad’s face contort.

“hey, what’s going on? you’ve been off all day.”

“i am, perfectly fine,” y/n slurs. conrad places a hand on her shoulder, and takes them to sit on the steps. his arm is wrapped around her, the other one gripping her hand.

“i know you’re not. it’s ok to not be ok,” he looks at her nose scrunch and her cheeks turn red again. “hey, hey, don’t cry, you’re alright.”

“no,” she weeps out, putting her head in her hands. “i’m a mess! i don’t know what to do, i cant make it any better and i’ve been trying for 14 fucking years!”

“hold on,” he keeps his voice low. “what do you mean?”

“my parents don’t give a shit. they haven’t since y/b/n was born and they didn’t even bother about me anymore,” conrad pulls her into his arms, leaning back as her teardrops soak into his shirt. “i didn’t do anything for this, and belly’s being loved unconditionally without having to fight for it. and i feel like a bitch getting upset over it but-“

“absolutely not. don’t say that ever again. you don’t deserve anything they’re giving you. anything they’ve said to you is a fucking lie. i know who you are. you’re the most perfect, beautiful person i’ve ever met, inside and out. you don’t have to prove anything to them, because they don’t deserve your amazingness,” he speaks to her. it’s nothing but the truth, and nothing he would ever hesitate to say. “and i will spend forever trying to prove to you that you’re nothing but beautiful a beautiful person.”

y/n looks up at him, only bursting into more tears as he laughs a bit. “oh, my god, conrad. i love you, so much. i know i’m drunk but i mean it more than anything.” she’s felt nothing like she does now. she’s never had someone accept her so quickly and with so much appreciation. she feels like she can do nothing but cry and just love on him.

“i’m glad,” he begins again. “because i love you, too. no matter what your parents say or do. they don’t define you.”

and in this moment, for the first time in a long time, y/n knows someone loves her. and he’s not just saying it for comfort. she doesn’t need her parents to be loved. if they can’t do that, there will forever be someone out there who loves her just as much. she knows she’s enough, and that’s enough.

[glamaphonic]

i did this for rick so as promised my personal headcanon on the trajectory of michonne's feelings for rick

the most fun thing for me about this is that even though i would say that michonne is generally quite emotionally astute, it actually takes her way waaaaay longer than rick to be able to recognize what's going on between them

rick and michonne are so similar in terms of the things that drive them, that move them, that are most important to them (as gimple said: they have the same soul) and her entire approach to their relationship is basically tied into the fact that she and rick had inverse experiences at the very beginning of the apocalypse. he set out to find his family and did. whereas michonne had her family and lost them.

so she closes it all down, decides to just go away, but she can't really escape who she is, so she helps andrea. and this starts the recurring pattern in michonne's character arc where she repeatedly comes to these decision points where she has to make a choice between giving in to the nothingness or being herself (someone who is loving, compassionate, a protector) and every time she makes the choice to be true to herself, it invariably leads her to rick and their family

so from the moment they meet in s3 she is also viscerally drawn to him the same way he is to her, and like him there is no way she's in a place to even begin to process this. but she sought him out specifically because she was making that choice, to look for connection and community, and she sees who he is pretty much immediately, and so extends him this profound trust over and over again because who he is, what she sees in him, is fundamentally why she wants to be a part of that community.

in 4a, michonne's trauma has her turned every which way. she's already grown attached to rick and to carl and her reaction to this is to keep one foot out the door; to not be fully present for the community. to try to keep her distance even though while she's away she's still obviously thinking about her grimes boys all the time, i.e. bringing them back gifts, etc. and then the prison falls and it seems to justify her caution.

in 4b, she comes to one of those decision points and when she chooses to seek connection and community, it returns her to rick and carl. in my other post i note that this is where rick claims her as a grimes, but this is also where michonne fully commits. she claims them too. she accepts that they are hers. and of course we all know, and danai has even pointed out, the exact moment michonne fully falls in love with rick, when it clicks somewhere inside of her that it's only ever going to be him. but she's still nowhere near ready to consciously face that.

in 5a and through to 5b, just like rick she's not spending time examining what they've become. it just is. that's her family. they belong to each other.

towards the end of 5b, when rick starts to Realize, michonne doesn't because she instead actively sublimates the fact that she is in love with rick, that she has regained what she lost during the turn, into her general dedication to community. she puts everything into trying to shepherd their community without acknowledging her personal stake. which is what leads us to:

the end of 5b and through 6a during which michonne has to have 3 or 4 different people pretty much say to her face HEY YOU GET THAT YOU’RE MARRIED TO RICK AND RAISING CHILDREN WITH HIM RIGHT? YOU GET THAT BEYOND FOSTERING A COMMUNITY ON A MACRO LEVEL YOU HAVE A WHOLE ASS HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS? YOU GET THAT YOU DESERVE TO EMBRACE THIS THING THAT IS FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY AND LIVE A FULL LIFE?

but that final wall is so hard to get past because that wound is so deep, she has to sit with all of that for a good long while (she's working up to it), and it still takes carl basically openly declaring that she's his mother and rick actually making the move before she finally lets herself see, in that moment, what was already long since there.

and it's just very delicious to me personally that from 4a on rick was hers for the taking, honestly. all she had to do was say the word, but she wasn't ready to take him until that moment on the couch.

[joekeeryswife]

Love island Episode one: Coupling up.

a/n: it’s here! thank you to everyone who voted over this past week. here is the love island series. Mason has his pretty prince hair😍. villa is the 2019 UK love island villa, it will get better but i wanted to get the coupling up over with. anyways sorry if there is any mistakes, enjoy reading 🩰

you’d never been this nervous before. sure you’d been nervous but never this bad. you had been scouted for love island by the producers and you thought you’d give it a go. you had a pretty big following being a model/influencer with just over 500k followers and this would be the perfect opportunity for you to finally find love instead of focusing on your job.

you walked into the villa in you hot pink bikini, you picked it because it would stand out and that’s what you wanted to do. you wanted to make a good first impression on whoever was in here. you made your way to the garden and saw four other girls meaning you were the last to enter before you saw Maya Jama.

“hey everyone” you said making the four girls turn towards you and scream with excitement. they met you halfway and one by one introduced themselves to you. “i’m Molly nice to meet you” she kissed you on the cheek and hugged you closely. the next girl hugged you “hi im Chloe” she hugged you.

“i’m Anna” she hugged you and kissed your cheek and then you finally moved onto the last girl “im Amber nice to meet you” you didn’t know what it was but the girls even though you hadn’t been in there long had all made you feel welcome already.

“i’m y/n, nice to meet you all” you were still nervous as Molly poured you a drink. “so, tell us about you y/n. what’s your type?” you took a sip of the champagne before starting. “well, i’m 22, in a model and influencer. my type is tall, tattoos, brown hair brown eyes, tanned skin, someone who’s athletic and don’t think i’m weird but i love noses” the girls laughed.

“don’t worry y/n, i’m with you on that one” Chloe laughed. “tell me about you girls then, we are gonna be living together for a while” you tucked your hair behind your ear as you listened to them.

Chloe started “well, i’m 25, i’m a marketing executive. my type is anyone who is taller than me to be honest. i don’t really have a type i usually go for. i like anyone, and i do have a thing for noses” you laughed again knowing that this was gonna be a recurring thing that you would all speak about.

“as you know i’m Molly, i’m 23 and i’m an influencer. my usual type is a tall brunette but i’m open to get to know everyone here” you nodded and then Anna started talking. “so i’m a pharmacist and my usual type is anyone taller than me, because i’m so tall i want someone taller than me”

to be honest Anna was very tall so it wasn’t a shock that she’d want someone taller than her. lastly Amber started talking “i’m a beautician so i do facials, lashes, lip filler, everything like that and my usual type is tall dark and handsome, i don’t know how else to explain it” you all laughed and then you all heard a voice behind you.

“hello girls” you turned towards the voice and saw Maya standing there. a few of the girls screamed, seeing her made this experience feel so much more real. “how about we all gather around the fire pit and have a chat?” all of you made your way over to the fire pit and sat down.

“so, Amber, tell me, how are you feeling about being here? are you nervous? excited?” Amber nodded “yeah i’m excited because you never know who’s gonna come through that door like it could be the love of my life” her gordie accent thick as she spoke.

you all laughed and nodded, you really never knew who was about to come through the door. “Chloe, do you think you could meet someone here? or are you skeptical about it all” Chloe shrugged “i’m pretty skeptical but i’m optimistic about the whole thing. i’m excited to meet everyone else”

“okay well, are we ready to meet some boys?” you all cheered and made your way over to the five love hearts that were by the pool. you were on the fourth heart in between Anna and Chloe. “right, remember girls that you can step forward for the guy you like but he can pick any one of you even if you don’t step forward” Maya spoke so you understood the rules.

“let’s welcome our first boy Ovie” you all looked toward the door and saw him, he was very good looking. you all clapped as he made his way down the steps. “you girls doing alright?” you all said yes as he stood next to Maya. “so girls, step forward if you like the look of Ovie” you looked at the girls and saw Anna, Chloe and Amber step forward.

“wow three girls stepping forward already. Amber, why did you step forward?” Maya questioned “he’s just really good looking, definitely my type” Ovie was shocked that three girls stepped forward for him. he was hoping for at least one let alone three.

“y/n, why didn’t you step forward?” you blushed “now don’t get me wrong you’re very good looking but i just want to see the other options before i step forward for someone” Ovie and Maya nodded understanding where you were coming from.

“okay Ovie you have three beautiful girls who have stepped forward for you but who have you decided you are going to pick?” he was silent for a few minutes before he finally spoke up “the girl i would like to couple up with is Anna” Anna clapped with excitement that Ovie picked her. to be honest when they stood next to each other they looked perfect together.

“okay, next boy we have coming in is Toby” you all clapped again as he made his way down the steps and you heard Chloe whisper ‘oh my god’. she liked him for definite. “okay girls, if you like the look of Toby please step forward” straight away Chloe stepped forward. Chloe was the only one who stepped forward for Toby.

“okay ones not bad” he said making you frown but you quickly changed your face back to normal. “Toby you have Chloe who has stepped forward for you, would you like to couple up with Chloe or would you like to couple up with someone else?” Maya said fidgeting on her feet.

“Chloe is beautiful so i’m going to couple up with Chloe” you all clapped as Toby made his way over to Chloe and he kissed her on her cheek. Chloe blushed and smiled happily that Toby picked her.

“Molly why haven’t you stepped forward for any of the boys?” Maya asked looking at her intensely. “they just aren’t my type really, i bet they’re lovely but i’m just waiting for that spark straight away” Maya nodded “okay well i think you may like this next boy then, please welcome Tommy”

Molly gasped as he made his way down the steps, she was in shock at how good looking he was. “okay girls, if you like the look of Tommy please step forward” Amber and Molly stepped forward. “wow two girls, didn’t expect that” Tommy said smiling widely. “well, Molly and Amber have stepped forward for you Tommy, who would you like to couple up with? remember you can pick someone who has stepped forward for you, in a couple or even a girl who hasn’t stepped forward.

Tommys eyes scanned through the girls before making his decision. “i would like to couple up with Molly” she jumped a little as Tommy picked her. “thank you for picking me” Molly said as she gave Tommy a hug and he kissed her on the cheek. “you’re welcome beautiful” she blushed brightly.

“okay girls, last two boys. y/n, do you think you will step forward? you haven’t stepped forward for anyone” you nodded “i know, i feel bad but no one has really caught my eye yet” Maya understood “hopefully someone will catch you eye” you agreed.

“okay girls welcome Curtis” you didn’t even like the sound of that name right off the bat and seeing him just solidified that for you. he was not your type at all. “okay girls, if you like the look of Curtis please step forward” you were not stepping forward. you didn’t want to just step forward because you had too, you were here for yourself.

it was silent for a few minutes and sadly no one stepped forward for Curtis. his smile faltered slightly before he quickly put it back on his face. “oh Curtis i’m sorry” Maya said and he just shrugged it off “it’s no bother, they just haven’t gotten to know me yet.” he replied.

“okay well don’t worry, you can couple up with any of these girls. who would you like to couple up with?” Maya continued “i would like to couple up with y/n” your heart dropped but you didn’t show your sadness, you just had to get on with it.

Curtis made his way over to you and gave you an awkward hug. “y/n, how are you feeling?” god you hated that she had to ask you that “oh uhh, i’m glad i got picked but i just didn’t see that initial attraction but i guess i don’t know Curtis?” you sounded like you were questioning yourself.

“okay well, let’s see our next boy. please welcome Mason” you turned your head toward the door and your heart started beating. there he was and you were in shock at how pretty he was. “hey everyone” he said, even his voice was sexy. “girls, if you like the look of Mason please step forward” straight away you stepped forward as did Chloe and Amber followed.

“wow y/n, i’m shocked. you actually stepped forward for someone” you blushed and laughed. “well, it glad she did step forward for me” Mason winked at you and you felt weak. he was making you feel things you’d never felt before.

“Mason you have the choice to couple up with any of these girls, who would you like to couple up with?” Mason answered straight away “y/n” you were ecstatic. “that means Curtis automatically couples up with Amber” Curtis walked over to Amber and Mason made his way over to you and kissed you on the cheek and pulled you into a nice hug. “nice to meet you” he said as you stepped back to the heart.

“nice to meet you too. thank you for choosing me” your body felt hot, he was the perfect man by looks, and he had a nice nose. “well, you’re a beautiful girl. i’m excited to get to know you” you locked eyes with him, his eyes were dark brown but in the sunlight you could see golden hues which were so pretty.

“okay guys, everyone is now coupled up. i’ll leave you too it and remember, if you don’t get to know anyone your place in the villa may be at risk. good luck” with that Maya left and it felt even more real. “should we go over to the swing? i want to know more about you” you nodded your head and smiled. Mason grabbed ahold of your hand and the two of you headed over to the swing.

*to be continued*

[wordy-little-witch]

More silly transfem Buggy ideas, Oro Jackson Edition

• Buggy asked a lot of questions as a child, was the reigning CHAMPION of "why". Including being told "you're a boy".

"But why?"

"Because your body is a boy's body, baby blue."

"Why do bodies be different? Why can't I be a girl?"

Roger at that point goes hmmmm, and just shrugs. "Well, you could! The kind of body you have is most common with boys, but I bet some girls have bodies like that too."

• Buggy grew up surrounded by men and fellas and dudes. The interactions with women were sparse, limited, and always temporary. The closest to a recurring feminine presence was Rouge, a few gals on Whitebeard's crew, and eventually Toki.

• when Buggy is about 8, she tells Roger that she wants to be a girl. Roger just ruffles her hair, picks her up to plop on his knee, and says, "Then a girl you are, my little buglet. I don't care if you're a girl, a boy, neither or both - you'll always be mine, and so you'll always be loved. Okay?"

"Okay... thanks, Cap."

• Rayleigh treated it like smth of a flight of fancy. He thought she was doing it because of smth else, so he tried pulling the whole "come to me in a year. If you still wish you were a girl, we'll talk then." It's unintentionally a pretty damaging thing, especially because Rayleigh even refuses to let her grow her hair out. It's during Buggy hissing, screaming, crying to get out of the mandatory hair cuts that Roger learns about it. Shanks went running for him.

• speaking of Shanks, he's the poster child for Ride Or Die. Buggy's shy about shopping but wants a dress? He's coming up with disguises. Buggy wants to present femme on ship but is scared of being made fun of? Shanks is putting on the MOST outlandish outfit he can and has 16842084 plans to make a ruckus. Buggy wants to experiment with her makeup? He's got a PhD in Hype Man Studies, from the University Of Besties.

• Buggy exploring her gender leads to Shanks exploring his own. He's a guy, he's comfortable with that, but he's also among the many who swear by maxi skirts bc those are COMFY holy shit. He's just a dude who sometimes wears a skirt.

• someone once made a side remark about Buggy being on the crew during a fight, they call her an it and thing.

Their head hits the ground just seconds afterwards.

• Whitebeard and Roger have semi-regular fight dates, like playdates but worse, after which the crews hang out and party. The one after Buggy comes out and has gotte some more confidence, she is bouncing around the crews, all big grins and talking to the girls and getting fussed over, or she's playing with the younger crew members and Shanks. He take one look at Buggy, beaming with her tiny little pigtails, her leggings, the mini skirt, blouse, and boots. He opens his mouth.

"We can't steal her, pops."

"But we could...!"

• Toki and Oden half adopt Buggy and Toki is adamant on passing down the Wano Rites to Buggy as well. Momo and Hiyori may be Wano's by blood, but Buggy is Wano's by soul and Toki refuses to let this girl slip through the cracks.

• Roger once heard someone call Buggy weak for being a girl and was ready to step in to handle it when Buggy just... goes feral. She beats the ever loving snot outta the guy, ends it with a "how's THAT for weak, dickbag!!"

He has to wipe away a tear. He's so proud.

• both cabin kids had special nicknames, and the main ones used by Roger for them are:

Shanks as the Red Menace (Menace)

Buggy as Pirate Princess (often just Princess)

((Both of them have those tattooed in their adulthood))

• Rouge meets Buggy and Shanks pre-coming out, greets them post like "hey boys!" Buggy corrects her hesitantly. Rouge is silent for a moment, turns on her heel, leaves, and immediately pops back, going "hey brats!!" Buggy had a moment of terror which then became relief-annoyance-embarassment-gratitude. Shanks just went from 🙂 to 😡 to 😃.

• Teach had a puppy crush on Buggy, which made her ALL KINDS of uncomfortable. She hated him from the start.

• she would put up with it tho on occasion for Missions. Nothing big, but when Rayleigh or someone else annoyed her and the crews were close, she'd run away to Whitebeard's crew and he'd help her gaslight the FUCK out of the other's. Just. Her in his lap, Roger in the fetal position on the deck like "pleeeaaassseee gimme my babbyyyyyyyy-"

Buggy, fighting an evil lil grin, turns to whitebeard like, "pops, is the weird man, okay?"

"I don't know, my girl, but don't mind him - my old friend here is an odd one."

"Okay, papa."

Roger makes a sound like a dying whale.

• Shanks bought Buggy a fancy custom hair piece for her birthday with matching earrings. Buggy then grabbed him by the collar and manhandled him beneath her to put one in his ear. He still wears it to this day. She wears the other one.

• Buggy is quick to crush, slow to LOVE, which was AGONY because Roger, Rayleigh, Gaban, Oden and Bullet were all varying g levels of WILDLY OVER PROTECTIVE. On the one hand - she's growing up 🥰. On the other? She's growing up!!!! 😨

• Bullet was frankly one of the WORST. Buggy was, to him, Baby Sister. Shanks was Baby Brother. Nobody, repeat NOBODY, was good enough for his little siblings. He and Roger were on the same page there. It led to some frankly mortifying yet hilarious hijinks.

• Roger was the type of man to get drunk and become COMPLETELY over the top with the love and affection. Buggy and Shanks were equal opportunity snuggle buddies, against their wishes. Shanks would wriggle to get to the booze himself. Buggy would just go limp and whine.

• the first time Buggy met Iva, she was starry eyed and scared. Roger held her hand the whole time, even as he threatened Ivankov with every single thing he could imagine, all sweet faced and menacing. That was how they found out Buggy's Devil fruit made her immune to piercings as well. She'd have to transition the old fashioned way, and use seastone for injections or sutures.

• Buggy actually cried that day.

• Crocus then requested Iva let him have a sample of their feminizing hormone to try his hand at synthesizing for Buggy. It never worked.

• Buggy goes on to find ways of transitioning that she can actually safely do, and Iva even goes on to reach out to other medical professionals to find options. If one girl couldn't be helped with their Devil fruit, who else was there? Who else needed the extra assistance? It inadvertly starts a wave in the medical community.

It's late and I'm running on fumes so nini for now okay ily baiiii

[horus-unofficial]

Hey, got a couple comments on the big update to the Manticore’s subjectivity integration system. Whoever it is on your team that figures out how to translate sensor data into intuitive sensory input, they’re a fucking wizard. I can literally smell e-defense vulnerabilities and hear enemy radar now. Other thing: since the update I’ve been having recurring dreams of my mech, all of which involve some variation of it brutalizing me. Using both sets of arms to rip me apart, slowly clawing me to pieces, incinerating me with its arc projector, and so on. Kills me over and over until we wake up. In the dream I simultaneously experience all this both as myself and as the Manticore—it’s extremely realistic and intense.

Only downside is that the subjectivity integration system is tending to use up more processing power now. The new features are fucking awesome though, worth it

glad 2 hear it

the dreams are something of a growing pain youll either get used to it or theyll go away except for if they get weirder. dw tho

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Illusion

You know, It's really sad how this is a Lila episode, and she somehow isn't the most annoying character to come out of it.

Let's get into the fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Illusion

We start off with a news broadcast where several people are interviewed about the recent developments this season. There's an attempt made to show differing perspectives, but while half are recurring characters who are confident Ladybug and Cat Noir will beat Monarch (Xavier, Mr. Damocles, and Alec), the other half are antagonistic characters who either blame Ladybug for everything going wrong or are too stupid to care about the bigger picture (XY, Chloe, and Bob Roth).

This is one of the overarching problems with the show, its refusal to show any nuance in its arguments. We already know how easy it is for the writers to blame Marinette for things whenever there's a conflict, but whenever there's an argument where both sides make interesting points, the opposing side is almost always represented by an antagonist or jerk who frames their view in either a condescending or idiotic way so it's easy for the viewer to brush them off, and the same can be applied to their side of the argument as well. Hell, it's already happened twice this season with Lila and Chloe (Multiplication, Determination). It just comes across like the show is pretending to act like its conflict is deeper without actually showing any real nuance with it. I get that some arguments aren't morally gray, but if you're trying to discuss Ladybug's past failures, put more effort into showing how the people of Paris would see something like this without knowing the full context.

Also, this is a minor thing, but I actually like how when we see Alec on the talk show, he's wearing a wig like the one he had in “Wishmaker”, and has the same positive outlook on life he had at the end of that episode. For a show that usually plays loosey-goosey with its continuity, it's surprising to see the writers actually acknowledge the character growth of someone as insignificant as Alec.

Congratulations, Miraculous Ladybug. You managed to give a very minor side character a consistent arc. Now if only you could put the same amount of effort into writing your main cast.

We cut to Adrien's room where, shock of all shocks, he isn't exactly a fan of his image being used for a high-tech ring without his consent. He storms off to see his father, but it turns out that Gabriel is experimenting with the idea of not being such a terrible father for once. He's making breakfast, saying that Adrien can call him “Dad” now, and even admits that he's been very neglectful towards his son ever since Emilie “disappeared”. Yeah, he's cooking breakfast in his white suit and haircut that makes him look like a grandpa for some reason, but hey, at least the kitchen isn't on fire.

Of course, Gabriel still isn't really good at comforting his son, as seen with his response to Adrien's concerns about Alliance.

Adrien: Speaking of which, Dad, I'm not really comfortable with having my face on all these rings. That's actually why I didn't want to be a model anymore, to avoid that. Do you understand?

Gabriel: Of course, I understand, my son. But that's the point; it's just an image, it's not you! And since this image frees you from your obligations, we, the Agrestes, are able to spend more time together. But if you'd rather everything went back to the way it was before, just say the word.

Adrien: You're probably right.

Gabriel: You'll see, my son. Alliance will bring us closer.

“I know you're concerned about me using your image for something that I could have hired literally anyone else for, but if you would rather go back to being a model on a strict schedule, just say the word.”

Father of the year, ladies and gentlemen.

We get a decent interaction between Marinette and Alya where they discuss ways that Monarch could be giving Miraculous to his Akumas, unaware of what the Alliance rings do. Alya comes up with an interesting hypothesis that Monarch is using the Dog Miraculous to swipe them back, and honestly, that sounds like a much better plan than “develop a cutting-edge AI ring and hope whoever I akumatize had enough money to buy one”. I like this bit, as it shows the two thinking of ways to stop Monarch beyond beating whatever Akuma he sends out next. It honestly could have been a really interesting story arc to see Marinette, Cat Noir, and Alya learn more about how Monarch is using the new Miraculous he got instead of having us know what he's doing already.

After class ends, Nino talks to Adrien about an underground resistance he's forming with his friends, deciding to give each member a condiment-themed title.

Alya: What's up with the sauces?

Nino: What's up is Ladybug and Cat Noir don't have us to help them anymore.

Alya: (nervously) Um... uh... what do you mean, “us”?

Nino: Well, us, you Rena Rouge, me Carapace! (Alya kicks Nino's leg underneath the table) Ouch! What's the big deal? We can tell Marinette and Adrien we used to be superheroes. It's not like we have any Miraculous that Monarch could steal from us. The only ones who need to protect their secret identities are Ladybug and Cat Noir, not us. And anyway, I already told Adrien about Carapace.

Adrien: (chuckles nervously)

Marinette: Adrien knew?! Alya, did you know that he knew?!

Alya: What, no, I swear I didn't know at all! (kicks Nino's leg again)

Nino: Ow! Come on! He's my best bud, I can tell him stuff! You and Marinette tell each other stuff, don't you?

Alya and Marinette: No we don't!

Yeah, remember how shocking it was for Nino to reveal that he and Alya were Rena Rouge and Carapace to Adrien in “Rocketear”, and how we thought this reveal would play into something big like the Season 4 finale, possibly splintering the trust several characters had with each other? This is what it culminates in. Wasn't waiting over a year since that plotpoint was established totally worth it for that gag that once again ignores the secret identity rule?

Also, just because you don't have a Miraculous, it doesn't mean Monarch can't target you like he did last season (Optigami, Sentibubbler), you dumbass.

For the first time in God knows how long, Lila actually becomes relevant when she asks to sit with the four, only to be rebuffed by Marinette and Nino. Using some more condiments and food as props, Nino explains his plan.

Nino: We're gonna film an akumatization.

Alya: And how are you, Comrade Ketchup, gonna be in the know when and where this akumatization takes place?

Nino: Easy, Comrade Beurre Maître d'Hôtel. I'm gonna make it happen.

Yep, this is the plot of the episode, people. Nino's going to try and get someone akumatized. Now I know what you're all obviously thinking: Isn't this cruel?

Adrien: Isn't that cruel?

Alya: Totally! To make someone suffer just to discover Monarch's technique? Super cruel!

Nino: No, it's not! You forget Ladybug always fixes everything in the end with her magic ladybugs! The akumatized victims forget what happened to them.

Oh yeah, this is totally ethical, you guys. Who cares about the emotional trauma an Akuma victim would go through, much less any civilians endangered by their rampage?

To make things even better, guess who Nino wants to get akumatized?

Okay, putting aside what we, the audience, already know about Gabriel that Nino doesn't, why would he think pissing off one of the most influential fashion designers in the city of Paris is a good idea? He says he's targeting him because it's easy to do so during parent-teacher conferences, but why not target someone else who has been akumatized more often than him, like Xavier/Mr. Pigeon? I don't think the idea of a more morally gray plan to stop Monarch is a bad one, it's just that this plan is so stupid, and the writers only go over the ethical implications, and that said plan is so ludicrous, Nino is basically asking for a restraining order.

While Adrien and Marinette agree to Nino's plan, Alya only hesitantly goes along with it, but unbeknownst to any of them, Lila was overhearing their conversation, so she goes to tell Gabriel what they're doing. During the conferences, Marinette barges in and pretends to trip and drop some pizza onto Gabriel's clothes, and I'm going to assume that either the pizza was cold of Gabriel is really good at keeping a cool head because there's no way taking a hot pizza to the chest wouldn't hurt like hell. Adrien and Alya come in with more food, and we get the one funny joke of the episode with Alya half-assing her performance as the half-heartedly throws some cake onto Gabriel's suit. Pretty funny how Nino is conveniently the only one who isn't taking the risk by attacking Gabriel in front of his teacher by filming the whole thing, isn't it?

Gabriel has had enough and does a 180, planning to take Adrien out of school and somehow, Marinette blames herself for going along with the plan... even though she was the only one to not approve of it, while Adrien and Alya did, and even then, the latter two were very hesitant. It turns out this was all part of Gabriel's plan, as we see him transform into Monarch as soon as he gets to his lair and uses Trixx's power to create a Mirage of his civilian form, having a breakdown so dramatic, I'm surprised he didn't end it by saying, “YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, MARINETTE!”.

The illusion of Gabriel turns into the Collector again, and now he supposedly has the Horse Miraculous' Voyage as a power. Adrien and Marinette transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively, and try to fend off the “Akuma”. Back in Monarch's lair, we learn that he somehow has the ability to unify with five different Miraculous at once, choosing to do so with the Bee, Mouse, Horse, and Rooster Miraculous. Why is he able to do this now?

Monarch uses Voyage and heads to the sewers, activating Venom before using Multiplication to create eight smaller clones of himself, finally using Sublimination to give the copies the power of invisibility. Strange, wouldn't wanting to be invisible count as a wish? While looking for “the Collector”, Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm, getting a bag of shredded cheese. The two chase after the illusion, only to fall through a Voyage portal into the sewers, where Cat Noir is almost immediately stunned by one of the clones. Hey, it took five whole episodes this season for him to be incapacitated by an Akuma to pointlessly raise the stakes this time! It's a new record! Ladybug throws the cheese to reveal the clones, who are then chased off by some nearby rats.

Monarch goes back to his normal form, and after a small pep talk, the illusion pretends to reject the Akuma entirely before falling into the water. The real Gabriel detransforms and then pretends to have gotten out. So Gabriel tricked the heroes with his foolproof plan... except for the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir should have recognized the use of Venom, the hidden clones of the Collector when the video Nino got only said he had the Horse Miraculous' power, the akuma somehow purifying itself when Ladybug still needed to de-evilize it in “Rocketear” and “Penalteam”, the fact that Gabriel should be soaking wet from falling into the water, and the—okay, you all know where this is going.

Meanwhile, Nino sees the footage of the illusion and sees what he believes to be the way Monarch gave the Collector the Horse Miraculous' powers. Nino then apologizes to Gabriel for attacking him, Gabriel forgives him, and Nino invites him into the Resistance, with a bunch of new members. The final scene reveals that in addition to Nino, Alya, Marinette, Adrien, and Gabriel, the Resistance now has Max, Kim, Rose, Juleka, Ivan, Mylene, and to Marinette's horror, Lila. Also, there's a post-credits scene where Gabriel explains what he did to Tomoe when literally everyone watching was able to figure it out.

Okay, so let's summarize. The first mission for Nino's resistance involved assaulting a private civilian, was easily discovered before it could even be implemented, was just as easily foiled by an illusion, now Monarch and one of his allies have infiltrated the alliance as moles, and Nino isn't even aware that his plan was a colossal failure. This resistance isn't exactly going to be like the Rebel Alliance, is it?

Yeah, this episode sucked. It's easily the worst one so far in my opinion. There were a handful of decent moments and ideas here, but my God, the story was just terrible. Morally gray subject or not, it's hard to get behind the heroes when they try to intentionally piss someone off for a plan that the audience knows is going to fail, especially a plan as stupid as Nino's. This episode features Nino at his most obnoxious and unlike Alya, Marinette, and especially Adrien, he doesn't even feel bad for what he did to Gabriel when it ended up being (as far as we know) completely pointless. It feels like the writers wanted to gloss over the ethics of Nino's plan by making Gabriel the victim, because if it was anyone else, it would have made him look like a colossal prick. The fact that he learns nothing and thinks his moronic scheme was a success really doesn't help.

The other characters thankfully weren't as bad. It seemed like the writers were trying to show some self-awareness by having Alya, Marinette, and Adrien object to the plan in one way or another, but it never really went much other than them begrudgingly going along with it, much less calling him out for his actions. At the same time, they all got some decent moments, like Alya and Marinette's discussion about Monarch and Adrien struggling to convey his feelings about the Alliance rings to Gabriel.

It's also kind of weird that it took us about five episode into the season for Lila to finally be relevant again after she did absolutely nothing for the last three episodes of Season 4 and the first four episodes of this season. It was only three and a half years since “Ladybug”, the last major Lila episode premiered, right? But hey, at least the writers didn't overindulge in the dumb Lila lies like her other episodes, and was used more as an informant to kick off Gabriel's counter to Nino's plan.

Putting aside how terrible Nino's plan was, Gabriel's plan still had a lot of problems to it. Like I already mentioned, it's a little strange that Ladybug and Cat Noir never talk about the tiny clones they fought, or the fact that Cat Noir was stung by Venom. I can kind of suspend my disbelief by saying Ladybug was too focused on the battle to think, but why the hell didn't Cat Noir say anything? You would think after working alongside Queen Bee and Vesperia, he would recognize what being stung by Venom must look like. Yeah, Ladybug and Cat Noir didn't know Monarch can now use more powers for some reason, but it still really bothers me, because they should know the Collector can't multiply himself. It's also strange that he made his trick so hard to find when you would think it would be more obvious to see

But overall, this one was just a chore to get through. It feels like the writers saw how much some people didn't like Nino in “Rocketear”, and were like, “You call THAT character assassination?” And speaking of...

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... NINO

Was there ever any doubt? The dude talked about his identity in a public place, nonchalantly blew him and his girlfriend's cover when he had no reason to for his Resistance, tried to get his best friend's dad akumatized while not caring about any potential damage, showed no remorse for what he did when his plan blew up in his face, tried to tell Ladybug and Cat Noir about what he learned while they were fighting the Collector, and all that was for a plan that didn't even work because the intel was discovered with ease, to say nothing about how he unintentionally let two enemies into his own Resistance. I've seen a lot of stupid decisions in this show, but never have I seen a single episode where a character makes screw-up after screw-up and doesn't even realize how much of a colossal moron he's being. With the past five episodes I covered and awarded Biggest Idiot Awards to (Ladybug, Alya, Xuppu, Mr. Damocles, and Luka), it was more them not seeing the bigger picture. Here, Nino is honestly trying to help Ladybug and Cat Noir, yet he failed at his job in every way.

[phantomrose96]

I’d love to hear about your fucked up subway, as best as you can express. Love love love hearing about weird dreams!

In exchange I’ll tell you about my recurring Bad Mall— I’m not on any meds my brain is just like this— usually I’m at the mall looking for someone. Usually it’s a friend, sometimes it’s All Might (??? Also haven’t seen BNHA in years why he there), and in one notable instance, it was a blue sock puppet who everyone loved.

I don’t know why I hate this mall so much. If I could I would never have another mall dream again. It is, technically, a very nice mall. The employees are nice. Usually I have a friend there. The shops are interesting and fairly priced. But something about the atmosphere is just… *grey*. Sapped. It’s a big loop of a building, sized such that there should be a courtyard in the middle— there is not.

The main entrance borders a clothing store that also sell luxury nail polish (like… made of velvet) and a decadent chocolate shop that gives out really nice free samples. Across the way there’s a couple jewellery stores I’ve never been in, and then you make a sharp left and you’re into the mall proper. To your right, the food court. I’ve only stopped there maybe ever twice, and the food is really good. The second time I accidentally put someone else’s fried chicken order into an incinerator so we got married about it.

On the other side, there is GameStop. This store is the bane of my being. It always has the *coolest* stuff but if I dare set foot inside the dream will start looping around it— genuinely, one time I tried to escape by running to the other side of the mall, and I ended up in a secret passageway that led me right back to GameStop. The worst part is that it’s all dream stuff. I don’t get to take any purchases home.

Past that, on the right there’s kind of a weird store that sells vintage stuff, old video games, and tshirts. On the left is a shop that sells gnomes. Directly ahead is a Walmart, and, in the middle of the like. Mall hallway. a free floating hot drink store that also sells wooden cutouts of deer, and kickass hot chocolate. Turn left.

I haven’t been in any of these shops. The only one I recall clearly is a big, outdoorsy-themed sportswear shop to the left. It has a full sized pool in it. I’ve never been inside, only pressed my face to the glass. It also seems to have some sort of scavenger hunt happening with bits of shredded paper. Usually I hurry through the rest of the hallway, not sure why. Turn left.

On the corner to your left, there’s the shop where one of my friends works. The only thing I remember about it is a wind-chime made of dvds. To your right is a large store that takes up the entire stretch of building— it’s one of those, like, VR experience places. Past that, on the left, there is a cinema. Turn left.

You’re back where you started, now. You can go outside. The parking lot is huge, and there’s a MASSIVE textiles store you can only access from out here. Don’t go to the stuffing area, bad vibes. There’s also a handful of gacha machines. One is easily lockpicked, and has cool Pokémon stuff inside. Another has little historical artifact recreations that are all slightly wrong. The Mona Lisa but her hair is blue. The Statue of Liberty, but the torch is a bundle of snakes.

There’s another bundle of disconnected shops. One of them sells pizza? And also it always wakes me up instantly so I don’t know what the pizza is like. The mall doesn’t always spit me out into the parking lot, either. That’s just part of the mall experience I guess one second you’re walking away with your shopping the next you’re running for your life in a dream video game c’est la vie

Hey anon I fucking LOVE your nightmare fucked-up dream mall. If this was the setting of a 16-year-old forum post creepypasta that only exists in reposts and screenshots I'd read the hell out of it.

To your right, the food court. I’ve only stopped there maybe ever twice, and the food is really good. The second time I accidentally put someone else’s fried chicken order into an incinerator so we got married about it.

^Highlighting this because it's doing a lot for me.

My fucked-up subway does not have nearly as much lore as your fucked up mall, and most of my feelings about the fucked-up subway are rooted in the heightened emotional ether of dreams where everything is slightly wrong, but I'll take a shot at capturing the vibes.

The first hallmark of fucked-up subway stations is that they are deep and they are vast--and by vast I mean there's often endless dead-space fanning out from the platform. The stairs descending to the platform are often unrailed and give you a wide view of the endless black-void expanse that stretches beyond the platforms.

The structure of the tracks and the trains is a lot more like a rollercoaster than a real subway. The tracks are bare and exposed and peter off into the dead-space distance. The cars are small and often roofless. They're often some combination of cold and wet and exposed. When there's no roof, there's usually the latent understanding that if you fall out you'll fall far.

The fucked-up subway trains run very infrequently. Usually when you get to the fucked-up station, the train in your desired direction is just about to depart, and if you miss this one, the next one will not be for a long time.

The fucked-up subway trains go to stations that do not exist. They're always modeled off the subway routes in my home city, which I've lived in for close to 5 years now and whose subway system I know like the back of my hand. This means you'll always know where you're trying to go, and be confident in how you're getting there, until you realize the subway is headed to the stations that do not exist.

The stations that do not exist often have transfers with other subway lines, which you can take in an attempt to get back on track. These transfers follow the same rules as the infrequent trains--the train and direction you need will always be just arriving when you are, and if you miss it you'll be stuck waiting a long time. Usually to transfer you have to descend to a deeper level, which brings you to more of these vast and dark and precarious platforms hanging over the abyss, with exposed traintracks running on either side. Sometimes you'll accidentally descend the wrong side--inbound instead of outbound, or vice versa, and need to hastily backpedal (or come up with some way to get across to the other side of the chasm).

One dream with the fucked up subway system had the deep, deep subway system. This station goes all the way down. No clue at all how deep but I'll call it 30 floors, at least, into this dead and lifeless, lightless trough at the bottom. The very bottom has no train, it's just the very bottom of everything. It's a bit like being at the bottom of the ocean, or the bottom of an almost pitch-black cellar--if that cellar's walls were hundreds and hundreds of feet above your head. There is a shop down here! It sells frozen meats that are kept very well preserved down here due to the cold and lifeless nature of the trench's pit.

It's not really a shop, per se. There's no staff or anything. It's more like you've discovered the abandoned contents of this cellar. Things are just stacked around, and very very hard to find with so little light. I don't remember how paying works.

Sometimes, you'll go to a station that exists, but it'll be wrong. You're at the correct station but nothing about it or its surroundings is correct. Nothing looks right. You recognize nothing. But it is the correct station. Sometimes this is nice. One time it let me out into this very pretty street with a nice red brick church whose yard and stone wall were surrounded by beautiful flowers. I met a friend here and she disappeared.

The fucked-up bus lines exist, and they go south. I've only ever ridden them at night and in the pitch black, and they run to places that aren't safe. This is a problem because they run infrequently, and you have to wait for them outside in the dark. I took the fucked-up bus line to a church way south of the city, where I was helping a nice couple set things up in the church. They were never there while I was. The church was always dark.

On the way back taking the fucked-up bus, there was a stop in the middle for the driver to rest. I talked with the other riders while we waited. The bus driver had a medical episode and drove the bus over the side of a nearby cliff. I don't remember what happened when we tried to get help.

[rollforfelicity]

Idk how to word this or how fully fleshed out this idea is, but I'm having this recurring experience where people will applaud a piece of media for representation but in actuality the media is (or started off as) making fun of the thing they're "representing."

So for example in my post about BG3 not having any options for your Tav to be fat, people in the tags mentioned that the Saint's Row games allow you to make fat characters, but a few people mentioned that in Saint's Row having a fat character is played off as a joke. I haven't played those games, but it made me wonder: would I rather play a game where I can't make a character who looks like me, or a game where I can but my inclusion is meant as a joke?

That got me thinking about Parks and Recreation, a show I loved deeply while also cringing almost every episode at the fatphobia. People point to Donna as being a great fat character and applaud the show for portraying her as a desirable woman, but that aspect of her character was initially a joke. It was played off as surprising that someone like her could be popular with men. This is even more true with a character like Fat Amy in the Pitch Perfect movies. In college, fat women I was friends with would talk about loving Fat Amy and identifying with her but when I watch those movies all I see is a caricature of a fat woman, her sexual desires played for laughs because who could possibly want someone like her?

People also give credit to It's Always Sunny for the episode where Mac comes out to his dad (which is a beautiful scene). I love It's Always Sunny, but the "Mac is a closeted gay man" aspect of the show started with Mac dating a trans woman. His storyline originates from a joke at the expense of trans women. There's an argument to be made that the other characters calling Mac gay for dating a trans woman is just an example of those characters being horrible assholes, which is the point of the show. But if they as a writing team decided "hey, Mac actually is gay," I feel like that changes the implication of the original joke, right?

I don't know. There's a power in taking something that was supposed to hurt you and saying "actually this is mine now, you can't hurt me with this," but at the same time I wish that weren't kind of the only option when it comes to fatness.

I don't really like talking about fat politics online because a) people are horrible and b) someone is always like "you only care about this because you're fat." Yeah, that's probably true! Because (for the most part) thin people don't give a shit about fat people at BEST, and are disgusted by/hate fat people at worst.

[ben-marco]

Hey there, I've been seeing your posts come across my dash more and I think you have some very interesting posts :)

I have been doing some reading on RAMCOA, mostly academic papers alongside my usual DID and mental health research (Irecommend Jeni Hayne's autobiographical novel "The Girl in the Green Dress" if you haven't read it yet. It's a beautiful autobiography by a system in collaboration with their long term psychiatrist, George Blair. It contains some fascinating discussion on system experience with polyfagmented DID. tws: descriptive SA, abuse, court involvement). RAMCOA isn't talked about very much, and I'm curious how I can support people who've been through it, along with what it entails/displays as etc. I haven't managed to find a good definition of what programming entails. As far as I understand, it's the mistreatment of a person with the intention of creating a disassociated personality state.. is that close to it?

And, do you have any suggestions for good resources to learn more of RAMCOA and programming?

Hi there! I'm glad you like the blog.

Thank you for recommending Haynes's autobiography. I was aware of her case and she is such an inspiration to me but I was unaware that she had written a book about it all. I will certainly check it out. On that note, if you are interested in polyfragmentation, I recommend Richard Kluft's work.

Your understanding of programming is accurate. Programming is extreme abuse and extreme conditioning meant to either create a system (with specific alters, structures, behaviors) in a young child who does not yet have DID or to create these specific alters, structures, and behaviors in a child who has already developed DID. Conditioning, Pavlovian and operant, is the basis of all of this and you must understand these forms of conditioning and how they can be taken to an extreme.

As for resources, I recommend the writings of Alison Miller (Becoming Yourself and Healing the Unimaginable), Michael Salter (Organized Sexual Abuse and a litany of other papers and articles-- have a look at his ResearchGate profile, there's really a lot!), and Harvey L. Schwartz (The Alchemy of Wolves and Sheep and Forgotten Voices). These are all specific to RAMCOA/OEA, but I suggest learning about polyfragmentation and conditioning as well as learning about trauma in general. There is a lot of research coming out now about ACE scores + outcomes and what chronic stress and recurring trauma does to the human body by acting on the HPA axis.

I have been very busy these past few months but when things have settled down for me, I intend to make a masterpost or some kind of compilation of resources, books, articles, etc.

[khaire-traveler]

How do I know if a deity has been around since my childhood? Is it just a feeling signs etc? Thanks :))

Hey, Nonny!

In my experience, it's a mix of feelings, signs from your past that relate to the deity, and just asking them. Your best bet, imo, is asking through divination to get an official confirmation, if you want one.

I've seen signs of the presence of deities throughout my childhood, and that was a big tell for me. For example, let's say you think Apollo was with you. Look back and see if music played a big role in your childhood, if you were artistic or wrote poetry a lot, if you were well-read, if you'd see lots of ravens/crows, if you avoided a lot of major accidents or were accident-prone, etc. Looking for pieces of their domains, signs of their presence in your life, recurring symbols and animals of theirs (in a way that sticks out) - those are a big part of figuring this sort of thing out.

Another piece of it, like I said, is just having a feeling. If you look back and feel like they've known you all your life, maybe it's because they have. I'd say to trust your intuition with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with believing your deities have always been around. c:

I hope this helps! Take care, Nonny, and have a good day/night. 🧡

[quinchronicles]

Hey, do you have any evidence for the zionism claim? I tried to check but all I'm seeing is a recurring hoax about a letter some blogger fake, the 2014 thing (all stores in Israel have since shut down, which i imagine was the goal achieved), and the union thing.

My post is specifically about how the popularity of hating on Starbucks is leading people to ignore the companies BDS actually says to boycott, so people still get Papa John's etc because calls for action only mention Starbucks and it sticks in powerless people's heads as The Big Bad instead of Burger King. If EVERY post mentions Starbucks, which is a peripheral player at best, and none of them mention Chevron or Wix or Expedia, then people will naturally assume that boycotting Starbucks is the most important and that if another group was more important to boycott, that would be the one getting talked about.

If people have evidence of even casual zionism by the brand, which I imagine some people view their lack of anti-zionism as (silence in the face of violence, etc) and choose to boycott on that basis, that's entirely reasonable. It's just really frustrating to see it bandied about as THE Big Bad Israeli Ally when Carrefour and McDonald's and HP are what the people who track these things SAY is important, because it gives people with a passing interest but no time to research bad information on what's most important.

of course im not saying starbucks is the huge end all be all of boycotting, but it does have ties to isr*el and zi*nism. for me, even a small tie or statement from someone associated with starbucks in support of isr*el is enough for me.

i found a website:

and theres a checker by the same website:

hope this helped <33 free palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸

[takeshitakyuuto]

Trigun Book Club reading update volume one

This is my first full experience with Trigun, and I am participating due to my civic duty as a tihylttw fan. よろしく～

What I know about the series already:

Space western! (+)

Vash is a twin? with someone named Knives?

Something about gods that I don’t understand and don’t want to

Kitty :3

I am infamous far and wide for my loquacious book club participations, so from here on out will be under read more. Spoilers for volume one of Trigun only

My usual file reader was glitching out so I had to find a new one to read this volume and oh my god the text is so tiny. why. thank god for zoom (and furigana)

Ch 1. Okay Vash’s fit is fire. Fashion icon

I really like the world building we get right off the bat. The little sign showing the day’s crimes was funny, clever, and really establishes what we’re dealing with.

Vash’s “death” chapter one? oooooo I really like where we’re heading with him...

He gave a child a pistol?!?!?!? childcare king tbh

So far my favorite character is the blonde lady with the huge gun (Milly?)

Ch 2. The appearance of The Cat!

Are these... human cars?

Freckles asking the questions I’ve had all along! I’m excited to see what Vash’s “quest” is and why it would put such a big bounty on his head, especially since he seems like a guy with strong morals.

*Gets “KISS MY ASS” tattooed on my hand* no you don’t understand, its a Trigun reference. So you know the genre space western? Hey, why are you walking away, I’m not done yet!

Ch 3. Does this place have a government???

Jack pot!!

Yaoi proportioned Vash

Oh the lesbians are from the government

I love Vash realizing the power of lesbians

Ch. 4 Vash the Stampede: impervious to bullets, but not to grate corners

Is this chapter 5 now? Bad Lads Group is an absolute top tier name for a terrorist organization

Oh boy the introduction of Rem. What a great introduction, I can’t wait to see what relationship she had/(has?) to Vash. Based on that little dream of his, I don’t think she’s alive anymore or at the very least has no contact with Vash

Ch 6. チビスケｗｗｗｗ

I might just be because they’re both space westerns but this is also giving me more and more Cowboy Bebop vibes in the way of I never know who’s going to be a recurring character or just in it for the chapter. I’m sure as the series goes on though we’ll start seeing more overarching plot and less “Vash Gets Himself Into Sticky Situations”

Also, this dude loves jumping out of windows

Ch 7. A Chapter called Rem? Excitingggggg

Ya’ll weren’t kidding when you said that the art could be a little hard to understand... I thought Vash got shot but it was someone else’s blood 🥵

Vash calling the group understaffed and then immediately opening a door to see a horde of grunts... the comedic timing in this series is impeccable

Oh look, おわり！

Final thoughts: I thought this was a solid first volume! It’s very out of my element- I don’t read much shounen and I read even less action series. It took me a while to get used to the shounen style of Japanese (unexpected yet happens every blue moon that I decide to pick one up) and the action vocabulary was also difficult, as I never see any of it. Okay enough about language learning, we’re all here for the plot. I still feel like I’m not completely sure about what the plot is, but I also know that that’s fairly typical with manga. I liked the recurring characters that we were introduced to and it opened up plenty of questions to be answered later. As for Rem, she seems like some sort of God character (as opposed to a god character). As for my favorite characters from the volume, it stays Milly and ohmygodijustforgothername Meryl. Let’s see if I stay on track with the reading or if I decide to read ahead :3c

[veliseraptor]

Hey Lise, I know this is asking you to harken back to your MCU days but did you ever come across a meta post that was like, "we shouldn't compare Loki and Bucky's trauma; Loki's trauma is much more like Steve's pre-serum trauma and look at how ✨awesome✨ Steve is and how he dealt with that same trauma? Loki has no excuses!" Because I did and it still makes me mad to think about to this day.

If I'm remembering the post you're thinking of properly - and I definitely may not be, I could be thinking of a different post entirely (the staple of "compare the antagonist's trauma to a protagonist's trauma, comment on how the protagonist handled it sooooo much better and how that indicates that the antagonist deserved what he/she/they got, because the way somebody handles trauma is determinative of their goodness or evilness as a person" is a recurring tradition across time and fandoms, I'm sure there are multiple posts), that's not actually what I got from the one in question? perhaps it was just my lens, but (again, if I'm thinking of the same post), I recall it being relatively morally neutral, or at least more about looking at the ways in which "actually while the easy comparison is loki and bucky due to the position they occupy in the narrative, loki and steve have more in common in some ways and that's interesting" and I read it as, personally, a bit of a stoki manifesto.

like, "actually these characters people don't tend to associate/look at together have some very interesting parallels! isn't that neat?" more than anything coming with a moral judgment.

but getting this ask made me go back into the depths of my blog (truly, the depths) to track down the post I'm at least thinking of, and remarkably enough actually managed to find it (given that the post in question is from 2013), and...reading it from the perspective of Fandom Discourse in 2023 I can definitely see what it is you're saying, and I think if I saw it in Fandom Edition 2023 that's probably how I would read it, too, and get annoyed about it. but looking at it from the perspective of where things were at that time, before the great villain/victim discourse of Winter Soldier kicked in, I actually feel a relative minimum of judgment from the post? Like, it does describe the different choices steve and loki make in response to their experiences in positive/negative terms, but it doesn't then progress to (at least in my reading) "and that's why loki is evil and NO EXCUSES" (Fandom 2023 Edition), but stays at just...letting it be about divergent character journeys coming from similar-but-different places? idk.

like, at the very least this one acknowledges that the "bad" character was genuinely hurt and having an understandable emotional reaction. which is not necessarily something one sees these days.

idk. maybe I'm being too generous. but then, I am more inclined to be generous to a post made in 2013 concerning this, when the pattern of discourse in fandom was a little different, than I would be reading a similar post now. perhaps that's unfair.

but I did link this specific post in several "why you should ship stoki" masterposts at the time, so if your read on this post is accurate then I feel very okay about taking it elsewhere.