#referenced parent death

[hood-ex]

Also, I can't buy this "fear of heights" thing Dick's suddenly going through because we're literally talking about the man that jumped 105,000 ft to the ground for fun. Like you can't take someone who previously had a skydiving hobby and then, out of nowhere, be like, "Actually, he's scared of jumping and riding in planes now." Like what are you talking about 😭? There better be a damn good reason for this.

[brother-emperors]

ascanio and louis xii

so

Milan Undone, Contested Sovereignties in the Italian Wars, John Gagné

extremely bold of louis xii to assume that ascanio, who has a reputation for conspiracy, wouldn't turn around and say 'fuck you,' after all of that™

(Ibid.)

it IS funny how men in power keep thinking they can put him on a leash like, pal. the odds are NOT in your favor

[mugloversonly]

Silver over Gold

Ch 3: Kintsugi - Final

Ch.1 Ch.2 AO3

Summary:

Steve and Eddie finally talk.

Steve stood outside Eddie’s door horrified by what he heard on the other side. Eddie was sobbing and his inner omega was whining weakly. “Eddie? Baby can I come in?” He pleaded.

“Alpha?” Eddie cried softly. “Door’s locked.” His voice was fading into a whisper. “I’m sorry alpha.”

Steve didn’t think twice about ripping the door of the hinges; he'd fix it later, he just hoped Wayne would understand. His omega needed him and his alpha would stop at nothing to help him (for once he was in total agreement). The smashing of the door echoed through the whole trailer but Eddie didn’t seem to notice. He was curled up on his side in the corner of the room with his head tucked against his knees, shaking violently. Steve rushed over to him and gently swept his hair out of his face. He gasped when he saw his beautiful omega. “Oh, Eddie.” He whispered. He was paler than usual, practically translucent. His lively chocolate eyes were red rimmed and puffy, empty as they stared up at him. Steve wasn’t even sure if Eddie could see him right now.

“I’m sorry alpha.” Eddie whispered. Steve stared at him hoping for some awareness in his eyes but there still wasn’t anything. He must be speaking unconsciously.

“Sh,” Steve cooed. “I’m right here, omega. Your alpha is right here. I'm not going anywhere.” He ran his hands up and down Eddie’s arms and kissed him on the forehead. His skin was freezing to the touch and if Steve didn’t know better he’d think he just came out of Lover’s Lake.

He took him into his arms, laid them back in Eddie’s nest, and removed their shirts for skin contact, pulling the blanket over them for good measure . Steve made sure to hold the omega’s nose directly onto his scent gland. He didn’t know much about rejection sickness, but from what he learned in school one way to cure it was through comforting touch and scents. Eddie barely moved and didn’t acknowledge Steve at all. Steve was having a hard time staying calm but the whines and howling of his omega were helping him to stay focused.

H is shivering finally subsided and Eddie fell into a light haze. He pulled back from Steve and his eyes were a bit clearer. “Stevie?” He asked. At Steve’s nod he threw himself back. He didn’t deserve to be held like this. He was a bad omega. His alpha didn’t love him and it was all his fault. Steve didn’t let him get far before he was yanking him right back in. He ran his fingers through his tangled hair and nuzzled his neck. “I’m sorry Steve. I should’ ve trusted you . I'm a bad omega.” He sobbed but Steve clapped a hand over his mouth.

“You're not a bad omega Eddie. You're my omega.” Steve said. He felt more than heard Eddie’s gasp and watched as his wet eyes widened. He reached up and pulled Steve’s hand off his mouth.

“I’m still your omega?” He whispered hopeful yet terrified.

“Yes, darling.” Steve replied caressing his cheek. Eddie put his hand over Steve’s and held it there.

“You still want to be my alpha? After everything I put you through?” Steve looked deep into Eddie’s eyes and kissed him on the nose.

“You didn’t put me through anything. I will always be your alpha. Even if you decided you wanted nothing to do with me, I will be here waiting. There is nothing you could do that would drive me away. I will never leave you.” He promised. “Let me apologize now.”

“No, Steve you don’t owe me anything.” Eddie said clutching his shirt. “I was the one in the wrong.”

“No you weren’t. I was scared. I didn’t stop to consider that I was stringing you along.” He bowed his head as tears finally spilled over. “I love you, Eddie. I never want you to doubt that. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. And I’m sorry the first time I said it was in an argument.” He grabbed Eddie’s face and tilted it until their lips were barely a millimeter apart. “I would never lie to you. I know why you would think that. Wayne told me. Just know, that the most important person in my life, is right here in my arms. Okay?”

“Except Robin?” He knew it was shitty, but he needed to know.

“No my lovely omega. Even more important than Robin.” He kissed him then. A quick press of lips, there and gone in mere moments. “Robin is my best friend and I won’t stop loving her or change how she and I are with each other. But you’re my future mate, and nothing is more important than you feeling secure in us.” Eddie surged forward and kissed him hard practically shoving his tongue down his throat.

“I don’t want you to stop being friends with Robin or anything like that, Stevie. It’s just…” Eddie knew he had to let Steve hear some of this from him. “The pups constantly tell me how you two were made for each other and how it’s only a matter of time for you two to mate.” Eddie looked down. “I guess, with you wanting to keep it a secret and when I ask about courting you brush it off, mix that with Dustin asking me to find out if you’re secretly dating Robin and I thought it was only a matter of time before you stopped what we had and went with her. And when I saw you two together, I thought it finally happened and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me first.” His voice broke on that last word.

“Wait a second...the pups have been saying what?!” Steve yelled out startling the omega and causing him to whimper. “Sorry.” He took a few calming breaths before asking again. “The pups have been telling you that Robin and I are secretly together?”

“Basically.” Eddie admitted.

“No wonder you didn’t believe me.” Steve scoffed. “Don’t worry my love I’ll set the record straight as soon as I can.” He snuggled Eddie closer and kissed his hair.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with Steve. Not for my sake.” He understood that it may be hard for Steve since he had only dated female omegas before. But his alpha just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll put an ad in the newspaper try me.” He laughed. “It’ll say something like: I, Steven Anthony Harrington am courting and plan to mate with the beautiful” he leaned over and nuzzled against Eddie’s scent gland causing the omega to giggle. “Wonderful, remarkable, one of a kind, Edward Wayne Munson.” He nipped lightly at his neck. “I will don’t tempt me.”

Light finally returned to Eddie’s eyes. “Thank you.” He whispered. Steve knew he was thanking him for much more but Steve didn’t want him to feel grateful that Steve treated him like a worthy partner.

“No thanks necessary. I’m not going to hide any more okay? In fact, close your eyes.” he said. When Eddie did so, he reached into his pocket to pull something out that he fastened around Eddie’s pale throat and kissed him softly. “Open.”

Eddie opened his eyes and gasped. It was the most unique courting gift he’d ever received. Pure silver because he mentioned to Steve once that it was his favorite precious metal. The pendant was a perfect copy of his warlock with small rubies creating the red lightening. As he took a closer look, he realized the neck of the guitar was actually Steve’s nail bat. It was the perfect combination of them.

His chest no longer felt tight and his nose tickled as his blood orange scent began pouring out of his scent gland. It was faint, but it was there. Steve beamed and pushed his nose to the source and took a big inhale. “Thank you, Alpha. I accept your request to court.” Eddie said in the traditional manner. He pulled away. “I’ll give you something I scented in return once it gets back to normal.” Eddie promised. Steve nodded and pulled him into another kiss. This one was more heated and while Eddie did feel better and the sickness was receding, he wasn’t ready to go very far. He leaned back slightly but stayed close so the alpha knew he was okay. “Is it alright, if we take it slow?” He couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Whatever you need.” Steve said tilting his head up. “What ever you want. It’s yours.” He said more like an oath than a promise.

“I threw away your yellow sweater. I’m sorry. I know it was your favorite.” He admitted ashamed. Steve slid away and for a second Eddie thought he was leaving, but before he could let out a single noise of protest he was getting hit in the face with soft cotton. In his hands was the best thing he'd ever seen.

“Wayne said he saw you throw it away and figured you were just upset.” Eddie smiled.

“He knows me so well.”

“I’d hope so, he is your dad and all.” Steve said. “Speaking of, I’d like to formally ask him to court you. I know you already said yes, but it’s traditional to ask an omega’s parent.” Eddie beamed.

“You really do love me, don’t you?” He asked.

“I do. I love you so much. I want to court you and mate with you. I want to see you round with my pups.” Steve replied and laid down pulling Eddie with him. “I want us to smell like one another so there’s no mistaking who we belong to.”

“How long have you had this necklace by the way?” Eddie asked the pendant clutched in his hand.

“Since right after spring break.” He admitted. At Eddie’s raised eyebrows he sheepishly said “I told you, I’ve wanted to court you for a long time.”

The two talked a bit more about their insecurities and about Eddie’s past trauma with alphas. When the alpha that hurt him came up again, Steve growled. “Give me a name.” The fire in his eyes would have scared Eddie if it was directed at him. But at the moment, it may have made him a bit slick. He’d never had an alpha want to protect him like this.

“If I tell you, can you promise you won’t do anything crazy?” Eddie asked.

“No.” Steve said. “I promised no lies.” He defended at Eddie’s snort.

“You did, you did. Okay, just promise you’ll be careful.” Steve agreed to that and motioned for Eddie to continue. “It was Tommy Hagan my first senior year.” He admitted. The scent of burning woods filled the his nostrils.

“When?” Steve growled. Had he still been friends with Tommy?

“We started courting in August. The heat we spent together was in November.”

“You were the omega he couldn’t shut up about?” Steve asked. Eddie shrugged.

“I guess. Weird that he couldn’t shut up about me when he cheated on me with Carol.” Eddie said meekly. The faint blood orange Eddie was finally emitting was turning sour and he was trying to pump out calming omega pheromones to calm Steve, but it didn’t seem to be working well due to the dull nature of it.

“Sorry, sorry.” Steve said as he willed himself to calm down. “It’s not important right now.” He stood and pulled Eddie to his feet.

“What is important is getting you checked out by a doctor. Let’s let Wayne know and we can go okay?” Steve asked. Eddie nodded and the two got dressed with some difficulty since they refused to let go of each other. Steve wore his yellow sweater so it would smell like him again and Eddie pulled on his favorite band tee. On their way out of the trailer they wrote a note for Wayne and Steve walked Eddie to the passenger side. He opened the door and kept a firm hand in Eddie’s until he was seated. Eddie watched on amused as Steve practically sprinted around the car so they could spend the least amount apart as possible.

~ ~~

At the hospital, the Doctor that saw him last time was able to see him again. “Eddie, this one could have killed you if your alpha hadn’t come when he did. To help you get back on your feet it’ll be good for the two of you to spend the next 48 to 72 hours together. Now for cases like yours we have a new type of medication that can stop rejection sickness from getting worse once it starts. I’m giving you a prescription for that. And I want you to go back to taking the preventive ones for a while.” He looked between the two men knowingly. “I’d say until you’ve mated. After that, you should be okay to stop them. But, keep the emergency one on you at all times. It could be the difference between life and death.” He said before leaving them with a nurse. She gave Eddie some fluids in an IV that were supposed to help him return to normal and then they were on their way.

“So, what now?” Eddie asked. Steve took his hand again.

“Let me take you out on the town? Then we can go back to the trailer and cuddle?” He asked. Eddie blushed and his blood orange scent finally filled the car in full force.

"I'd like that."

@v3lv3tf0x @lexirosewrites Final part!

That's a wrap on this one. But I do have plans to write some Robin POV and what Steve does the next time he sees Tommy.

[salemsimss]

cię nie opuszczę aż do śmierci

[fanficfanattic]

Goal, Chance and/or Away (purely taking words from this football commentary rn lol)

I am once again impressed with the gems my recent word challenges have excavated. Six fic snippets under the cut.

Goal

1. From a fic where a newly returned Jamie sees a man drug a lady’s drink at a bar and intervenes. But without context it just looks like Jamie got in a bar fight.

He knows it plays into the idea that he is a prima donna, a moody little bitch, feels like its proof that he’s more trouble than he’s worth. But he can’t help laying in bed; with the team that can barely stand him downstairs watching a movie, while he’s been fucking grounded to his room like the child Roy always said he was, and feeling desperately alone.

He hadn’t cared about being alone, before Ted. During most of his time with Ted, even. His dad had always made him either actively drive people away or that was just the practical application of conforming to his demands. He’d been used to it. It was all he’d ever known.

And then Keeley said he should stop battling the people trying to help him. And he sacrificed the reminder he’d taken from home, of home, when he left it. And danced around a bonfire after Roy Kent said he was right about something. Dani had thrown his arm around him. He’d sung with the lads…

It was fun, and it made it hurt even more when the next day he’d gone back to how it had always been. He didn’t tell Ted how much time he’d spent fantasizing about what it would have been like to have gotten to stay. To develop those tiny first buds of friendships.

To have never relegated Richmond. To be playing in the now with his teammates but versions of them he’d grown alongside for months. Who never got extra pissed at him for shit talking them on tv, and destroying their Captain’s career, for sending them down.

To be trusted. Before, the only thing a team had cared about was wether they could trust him to score. Which was still technically true. But they hadn’t ever wanted more from him, and he certainly hadn’t been putting extra out there for free. Besides he hadn’t trusted anyone else much either. Maybe Man City to be good players and to work together towards a common goal. And Richmond to pass him the ball to score the first time around.

Now he trusted Dani to smile at him even when no one else would. He trusted Jeff to subtly nod, but not more than that, because he had greeted Jamie when he returned before realizing how mad everyone else was at him. Not that Jamie blamed him. He’d gone out of his way to message the man saying the small nod was probably better for both of them.

He hadn’t realized it until the moment Ted didn’t even let him talk that he’d trusted the man to be fair. He talked a good talk, but he had trouble walking the good walk, and was pretty lousy at both when it came to Jamie.

2. Now that the team has been gelling, and Roy understands how Jamie’s mind works more, he’s got a plan to run circles around West Ham.

“Kent, the fuck mate! You said you could keep in position!”

“Fuck you Tartt! Maybe if you weren’t-“

They had been yelling about the play in the heat of being pissed off at each other. Jamie had telegraphed the pass to Roy very clearly. And the defender who was supposed to be on the left, loosely marking Sam, tore off to be another line of defense between Roy Kent and their goal.

Unfortunately for them, even when Roy and him had been out for blood against each other, they’d have never been that stupid. Jamie doesn’t even twist his body fully the way it should be for the kick. It still rolls smoothly to Sam who buries it in the back of the net from his completely cleared lane.

Chance

1. From the Investigative Journalist epic.

“…for as long as I remember, when I heard people say things, I always thought they meant it however the worst possible way is. But a lot of people say it while meaning it in the best possible way turns out.”

“And how does this relate back to you thinking people are rude when they talk around a subject?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m trying to do that more.”

“What more?”

“Identify when I’m doing that kind of thinking that what someone is doing is the worst version it could be. So, society probably isn’t trying to be rude by talking around things. I think it’s accidentally rude.”

“Do you mean incidentally?”

“What’s the difference?”

“They both mean something happened by chance. Accidental implies that the thing happened by carelessness while incidental indicates it would still happen this way even if people were taking care.”

“I think people want to believe it’s that last one but I believe it’s more often the first one. Cause I can be the same way. I normally don’t think much before talking, and if I did that more, I’d say things differently or maybe not say anything at all.”

2. This is also from the platonic a/b/o fic I didn’t realize had so many scenes already sketched out. The scenario is that James had a shady doctor prescribing Jamie pills that included an (i fucking guess) untraceable dynamic suppression med. When his dad is too busy to deal with a refill, Jamie asks Richmond’s med team to prescribe him a new vitamin pack.

“Oh that bastard. I’m gonna kill him this time, Simon, I am!”

“Georgie, c’mon, let’s focus on Jamie now and murdering later, yeah?”

“Fine, fine! So doctor, what about that? Like I believe his father would hurt him, cause that’s his way, but the how doesn’t make any sense. With vitamins?”

“Well, we don’t know if there is anything different between the vitamins his dad got for him and what we provided here. The best way to find out is with a blood test.

And you’re Jamie’s medical health proxy. So-“

“Yes, you’ve got my. You need to do a blood draw? Run tests?”

“Yes ma’am. You’re granting permission for the draw?”

“Yes, of course. What the fuck. How-how soon will you know? Does he have to go to hospital? It’ll take us almost four hours to get there. Do we-“

“Georgie, she can’t answer any questions if you don’t give her a chance, love. Take another deep breath for me, okay? In and in and in. Hold and hold and hold. Out and out and out. Okay, again.” And after she kept at it, he addressed the doctor again.

3. From that evil fic I teased about. I’ve played coy about what happened before now but you caught me! Rebecca walks onto the practice pitch ‘without Jamie’, Ted notes to himself.

“Jamie’s parents were in a car accident this morning. That’s why I called for him. His mother is being held overnight for observation and is quite understandably shaken. She called Man City to get a hold of Jamie, and when she explained what was going on she was able to talk with Pep. He promised he’d talk to Jamie so she could rest.

And then he called me directly.”

It was silent for a moment, and she was tempted to look around to better gauge player reactions. She kept her eyes on Ted, instead, because his was both more important and certainly more interesting. As she’d begun her story, he’d paled alarmingly.

And he failed to spill forth some folksy American tale to talk circles around everyone. Instead he hoarsely asked only one question.

“And his father?”

It gave away a weakness he had, which Rebecca was sure he neither realized he’d done nor that it was one. And why would he be worried about that, she reminded herself, when he also doesn’t realize he’s in game of your making.

“Ah, I should have been more precise in my language. His biological father divorced his mother when he was still an infant, I’ve been informed. It was his stepfather that was driving and took the brunt of the impact. He died on scene.”

She didn’t say it icily or meanly. She just said it without warmth. And that impacted the players more than she’d thought possible. Unfortunately it took time for her to understand that, because at the moment everyone just appeared to be in shock.

Ted didn’t ask anymore questions, and the silence was getting uncomfortable even for her.

“Well, since she took her late husband’s last name, there is a chance this won’t make the papers without the name Tartt attached. Still, if it does, Keeley made some excellent points about how we want to look. So no one go on your socials until she’s spoken with you.

Back to training now.” And she turned to walk away, not once looking back.

Away

1. ^ Chance #3

2. ^ Goal #1

3. I shamelessly stole this idea from a fic where Ted has Jamie stay with Roy in a similar manner as hockey players sometimes do? Apparently. So season 2 Jamie returns to Richmond. And Ted cooks up a thing where Jamie is going to room with Sam. Help them get their differences settled. And then…and then James Tartt shows up.

Jamie sort of unthinkingly says “Oh, Ted knows about me da’”. And Sam is sure that Jamie must have misunderstood what happened until he hears about Ted walking away but sending the soldier. And the conversation Jamie and Ted had in the Crown & Anchor.

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 Song Unwritten by Kytrin, Mslead

💙 Song Unwritten

by Kytrin, Mslead

E, 94k, wangxian

Summary: Lan Wangji knew what miracles were. He'd been given one second chance for happiness already, only to have it snatched away by an enemy he could not fight -- time. Now among his husband's research, he had a chance at another one, but to seize it he would have to take matters into his own hands and fight for it. Even if that meant the fight would take him to another world. After all, Hanguang-Jun followed chaos. And when was Wei Wuxian not at the center of chaos?

Kay's comments: Wow, what an absolute incredible story! What an epic! And features stunning fanart as well! I binged the entire story over a weekend, because I could hardly tear my eyes away, I was so hooked on it. So, we have parallel universes here. In the original universe, Wei Wuxian dies and his soul gets destroyed, leading to Lan Wangji deciding that he would rather nope out of that reality than spend an eternity without Wei Wuixian by his side. So, he transmigrates into another reality where he merges with his 10-year-old self who just died of a qi deviation. That reality is very different. Lan Qiren was murdered by Madam Lan and Qingheng-Jun is out of seclusion and leading the sect as a tyrant on par with Wen Ruohan. There is a also a Yiling Wei Sect! A sect of demonic cultivators which is led by Wei Wuxian's parents, who are alive! And the Wei Wuxian of this world even has two younger siblings, which I absolutely adore, because Wei Wuxian would be the best big brother in the world and he is! In this reality, Lan Wangji goes to the Wei Sect to attend lectures and makes it his mission to woo the Wei Wuxian of this world, but due to Qingheng-Jun's everything, there is little trust between the Weis and the Lans. BTW, the CQL meets MDZS tag of the authors is less about different characters from the dimensions meeting each other and more about, one of those realities has Yin Iron and the other doesn't. There were so many creative ideas in this story that I hadn't seen in another story before and I already know that I'm going to re-read it again and again. It was just so good!

Excerpt: "Didi you are alive!" Lan Huan exclaimed tearfully, and Lan Zhan's heart ached at both the sight of his brother's young face and the tears in his eyes. In all of this, he had hardly dared to see his brother again, but he was there! He grunted a little as he was abruptly pulled into a tight hug. "I thought you were dead!" Lan Huan sobbed into his shoulder, "You were so still and I could not feel your breath at all!" He scrubbed his face as he pulled back and leveled that concerned frown that Lan Zhan had so missed at him, "What are you doing sitting up? You should be resting!" "He has lessons." Their father rumbled, and Lan Zhan's eyes widened a little when a look of outrage flashed across his brother's face. "Fuqin please!" He protested, "It was because of your constant lessons that he qi deviated in the first place! He is only ten! And it was only a few moments ago I thought he'd really died! You cannot truly want him to have lessons again before he has recovered even a little!"

temporary character death, canon-divergence, angst with a happy ending, implied/referenced child abuse, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending, good sibling lan xichen, bad parent qingheng-jun, pov lan wangji, pov wei wuxian, fix-it of sorts, transmigrator lan wangji, parallel universes, time travel, yiling laozu wei wuxian, yiling wei sect, cangse sanren/wei changze, references to depression, graphic depications of violence, sunshot campaign, good sibling wei wuxian, somebody lives/not everybody dies, angst, fanart

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[naminethewriter]

One's Hometown, One's New Home

Chapter Six: Complicated Families

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

@tss-anxceit-week

Summary: Janus’ hometown is a usually quiet place where everyone knows everyone. So when someone new moves in, they’re usually the hottest topic of local gossip. The newcomer then comes by the library Janus works at, he can’t help but chat with him a little. Doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking as well.

Content Warnings: Referenced Homophobia, Past Parental Death, References to the Foster System

~*~

“You sure you don’t want a glass?” Janus asked as he poured himself some wine. Virgil sat next to him on the couch and shook his head.

“No, thanks. Alcohol isn’t my thing in general. I’ll stick to water.”

“Suit yourself.” Janus leaned back and took a sip, taking a moment to enjoy it. Virgil shifted, a bit uncomfortable with the silence.

“My dad,” Janus began after he took a deep breath, “came to this town in his early twenties. He brought nothing but a single suitcase, his papers, and some money. He found work in an auto repair shop and quickly became a hot topic of the locals. He was kind, hard working and handsome, allegedly. The perfect bachelor. At least, according to what my mom’s told me. My grandma was always a lot more skeptical about him, but she rarely trusted outsiders.

“My mom had also turned twenty around that time. She was working as a waitress in a local diner. It wasn’t really that she needed the money but that she didn’t know what to do after school. She liked the idea of college but didn’t know what to major in and such. My grandparents hadn’t been much for travel, so my mom hadn’t seen much of the world, and she was curious. So, of course my dad as an outsider appealed to her.”

Virgil listened intently to Janus’ story while fiddling with the edge of a blanket.

“They got to talking a lot when my dad came into the diner for meals. She asked him about where he’s been and he’d in turn ask her about the local places and legends. It naturally progressed with them starting to date and eventually getting married.” Janus paused, taking another sip of his wine.

“But that’s not all?” Virgil prompted quietly.

“Well, a lot of the rest is speculation, both of my mother’s and my own. Dad didn’t like talking about what exactly happened before he moved here or his family. But a fact is that he wasn’t heterosexual. Actually, very early on into him dating my mom he broke out into tears and told her that he never thought that he could fall in love with a woman.”

Suddenly, Virgil had a bad feeling about where this story was going.

“Mom never minded it, of course. She knew dad loved her with all his heart. But it made her question his reasons for coming here all the more. Dad never outright said it, but mom’s pretty sure he came from a rather wealthy, old-fashioned, and conservative family that kicked him out when they found out about his sexuality. He probably had a boyfriend he left behind. Or maybe they broke up, we don’t know. Mom wrote down what little information he told her and connected the pieces from there.”

After Janus finished his story, they were both quiet for a while. For a second time that evening, Virgil didn’t know how to respond.

“That really sucks,” he finally said. It startled a laugh out of Janus at least.

“Yeah. He probably would have told us at some point if the accident hadn’t happened. I do know his hometown and his former last name, so I could look some things up if I wanted to, but… so far I haven’t dared.”

“I can understand that. It’s the same with me in a way.”

Janus looked at him and cocked his head. A silent offer to continue or change the topic, either way, he wasn’t going to push, and Virgil was grateful for it.

“You’re right, I wasn’t always a werewolf. I—” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m an orphan, actually. I don’t know what happened to my parents, if they died or if they didn’t want me or what. Never had the courage to ask or look it up. I’ve been in the foster system for as long as I can remember. I developed an anxiety disorder very early on and that made my chances at adoption slim.”

Janus put away his glass and offered his hands to Virgil in silent support. He hesitated for a moment but took them and squeezed them gently.

“I switched between foster families every few years until I was twelve. Then I was taken in by a lesbian couple that more or less specialized in older children with neurodivergences. They didn’t do adoptions, but they were very supportive of me and the others they took in. I stayed with them until I aged out and they helped me find an apartment that I could afford. If it hadn’t been for them, I probably wouldn't have finished school. I didn’t want to go to college, so I got two shitty paying jobs and just did the best to keep myself afloat. I wasn’t really living as much as surviving.

“Then one day I was on my way home from work. It was dark and cold and I just wanted to go back as quickly as possible, so I took a few shortcuts. I didn’t live in the most secure neighborhood, so I carried a pocketknife with me, just in case. I was passing through an alley when I suddenly heard some growling. I just thought it was a dog or something and continued but then a wolf rounded the corner and barreled into me. I panicked. Managed to get my knife out and just stabbed. I hit it in the shoulder, and it wasn’t happy about it. Bit me in retaliation and I passed out.”

Janus held his hands a bit tighter, and Virgil remembered to breathe. The memory alone could still make him panic a little.

“When I woke up, I was in an apartment I didn’t know. A woman was watching over me and started fussing as soon as I moved. It took me a bit to understand what was happening, but she explained that she was the wolf that attacked me and that she hadn’t meant to. Apparently, there was a territorial dispute, and she was on the run from another pack. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and her instincts kinda took over, especially when I stabbed her. She turned me without meaning to.”

“So, that was how you became a wolf?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah. She introduced herself as Mary Lee. She was a college student and also still a relatively new werewolf. Then she introduced me to the rest of her pack, also all students. Her boyfriend Lee was the leader of the pack and a born wolf, as well as the one who had turned Mary Lee. They were all super apologetic towards me and reassured me that they would do their best to take care of me and help me learn about my new self.” He smiled at the fond memory.

“They kept their word, and the next few years were the happiest I had so far. It felt like I finally had a family. It wasn’t perfect of course but I didn’t mind. But the thing about college is that eventually, you graduate. And that means change.

“Lee and Mary Lee had plans and places to be. New York City to be exact. The other members of the pack also went off to pursue whatever they wanted. I didn’t really have anything like that. Lee and Mary Lee offered me to come along, they both saw me as their little brother at that point. And I really considered it. I loved living with them, but I also felt like I would be intruding. Not that I wanted to tell them that, but Mary Lee knew me and got me to talk eventually.

“She again told me that I wouldn’t, that they both would love for me to be there but that she doubted that I truly wanted to come along. ‘You’re just not built for the city life and that’s okay,’ she said. And it’s true, I hate cities. Even where we lived was almost too much for me. So she told me to go and find my own path and if it ever got too hard, she and Lee would welcome me with open arms.”

“They sound like amazing people.”

“They are,” Virgil smiled sadly. “And I really miss them, but we’re keeping in touch. They promised they’d come visit me as soon as they had the time, and I was truly settled in.”

“Thank you for telling me, Virgil,” Janus said earnestly and again squeezed his hands.

“It felt good to talk about it actually,” Virgil laughed. “I was kind of avoiding thinking about how much I miss them.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.”

They looked at each other, both mourning the loss of their families but happy to find solace in each other.

“Hey, Virgil?” Janus asked quietly after a while.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

It felt like they were both still teens and not in their late twenties, but Virgil didn’t mind.

“Please.”

Their lips connected softly, and he thought, maybe he really could find a new home here.

Janus certainly made him feel like he belonged.

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2022

NO. 31 - A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Comfort | Bedside Vigil | “You can rest now”

Brumaria College AU, continued from here. Credit again goes to @painful-pooch for owning Bruno and writing most of his dialogue!

Contains: lady whump, dude whump, hospital, burns, referenced parental death, referenced fire, needles, ventilator, romance, mild flashbacks

.

“I tried to keep her safe, Roshni…I didn’t mean to fail her.”

Before she fully awakens, Kamaria can tell that she’s in a strange place. It doesn’t sound right, or smell right, and the more aware she becomes it doesn’t feel right, either. The bed is all wrong, the pillow is flat, and there’s a deep ache that’s settled over her body, like when she’s gone too long since her last workout and every muscle in her body is sore and exhausted.

She jerks the rest of the way awake suddenly, eyes darting around the unfamiliar room. The hospital. She recognizes it immediately.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Your mom didn’t make it.”

“No, you’re lying. She’s here somewhere, she has to be, where is she? Where’s my mom?”

“Hey.” The soft voice pulls her back to the present. She turns her head with more effort than it should take and finds Bruno’s soft blue eyes watching her, worry creasing the corners. “I’m right here.”

His presence immediately eases the anxiety building in her chest. Her hand slides across the sheets, almost of its own volition, and he sees it right away, gently grabbing it with his own.

“You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Memories of fire start filtering back into her mind, but it takes a moment before she can fully determine that they’re not all from when she was twelve. The…science building? There was a fire alarm, and Bruno was there, and her mom was…no, not her mom. That was a long time ago. But that means that there really was another fire, and she thinks she might have been trapped in it. Part of her doesn’t want to know, doesn’t want to potentially make herself start panicking. But it’s inevitably going to come up, and she’d rather find out from Bruno now than from someone else.

“There was…a fire?” Her voice rasps horribly and her throat hurts, but she gets the words out.

He turns and grabs a cup from the bedside table with the hand not holding hers, lifting the straw to her mouth. It feels awkward, letting him practically feed her. She tries to lift her other hand to take the cup, but feels the pull of what’s probably an IV and drops it again. Maybe if she doesn’t look at that quite yet she’ll forget it’s there.

“Yeah, there was,” Bruno answers as she sips at the water. “Do you remember what happened?”

Her memories are still a confusing tangle of two separate fires, and the deja vu of being in a hospital room with Bruno isn’t helping. At least it’s her in the bed this time, not him. She’s not sure she could handle him being hurt like that again.

“Not…really? I just get bits and pieces.”

He nods, but there’s still worry and anxiety written all over his face. She knows how he feels, and she hates that she’s the one that’s put him in this situation. Normally being an idiot and trying to get killed is his job, not hers.

Speaking of which…as he replaces the water cup, white bandages wrapping his arm catch her eye. Her heart skips a few beats. Lifting her head up off the pillow, she glares between his arm and face. “What did you do?”

His eyebrows shoot up, but he quickly catches onto what she’s referring to. “Oh this? Just some scratches. No big deal, really. I promise.”

By now she’s familiar with Bruno’s definition of “no big deal”. It was also “no big deal” when he was the one lying in the hospital bed, or the other time when he’d been beaten up and should have been in a hospital bed.

Her stony expression must say as much, because he leans forward and takes her hand in both of his. “Kamaria, we’re in a hospital. They’re not gonna let me sit here, injured, and not take care of it. It’s all bandaged up, see? Professional job. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

She lets her head drop back down, too tired to continue holding it up. It isn’t the hospital’s competency with injuries that she’s concerned about, it’s the fact that he has injuries to start with. If it’s no longer hurting that means that it was hurting earlier. He got hurt, again, and it was probably while protecting her…again.

Tears spring to her eyes unexpectedly. She’s not usually one for crying, she hates crying, and she’s gonna blame being exhausted for it happening now. She can’t brush away the tears without using the hand with the IV or letting go of Bruno’s hand, so she tips her head back and blinks them away as best she can.

“Hey, hey. What is it? What’s wrong?” He strokes her head tenderly.

What isn’t wrong? she wants to reply. There are so many emotions crowding for attention in her chest that she can hardly breathe, and images of fire and smoke trying to poke their way into her mind that she’s continually shoving down, and she suddenly misses her mom fiercely, and Bruno got hurt…

She sniffs, and becomes aware of something strange and wrong with her nose. Never mind not moving her hand, whatever this is she needs to fix it, now. As soon as she touches what feels like a tube going into her nose, though, Bruno is gently pulling her away.

“Don’t mess with that, okay? It’s helping you breathe, your oxygen levels have been low.”

It’s too much. There’s a tube up her nose and a needle in her hand and it just piles on top of everything else she was already feeling. The tears that she was valiantly holding back spill over and run down her cheeks, and she claps her hand over her mouth to hold in a sob.

The next thing she knows, Bruno is climbing into the bed next to her, sliding one arm behind her back and pulling her in close. “It’s okay, Kamaria. It’s okay. You can cry if you need to.”

She doesn’t want to, but apparently she doesn’t have a choice. The tears are coming whether she wants them to or not. She buries her face in Bruno’s chest, but his shirt smells like smoke so that only makes her cry harder. Still, she doesn’t stop clinging to him. It doesn’t matter what he smells like, she needs the comfort he brings.

Eventually, once she’s left a sizable wet spot on the front of his shirt, she sits up and cautiously wipes at her face, trying not to disturb any of the contraptions attached to her or think about either of them too much. Bruno keeps up the steady rhythm he’s been stroking up and down her arm.

“What else…what else aren’t you telling me?” she whispers, staring at the bandages on his arm.

She can hear the caution in his tone when he answers. “Well…you have some first-degree burns on your hands.” They’re bandaged, she’d already noticed. She vaguely recalls burning them on a door handle, maybe.

“And there’s a cut on your leg from some glass. It’s been treated and wrapped. Mostly they’ve been concerned about the smoke inhalation. You were coughing a lot, and…really struggling to breathe. They thought they might have to intubate you.” There’s a hitch in his voice, and he falls silent for a moment. “A…a few other small burns on your arms, mostly, but nothing too bad. How, um…how is your shoulder feeling?”

“My shoulder?”

“You kept grabbing it in the ambulance and saying it hurt. There wasn’t anything visibly wrong with it, though.”

“Oh.” It throbs a little as she thinks about it, and it’s fairly obvious what the pain is from. Of course the paramedics wouldn’t have found anything wrong with it. All they’d have seen was an eight year old burn scar. “It’s fine.” The only thing wrong with her shoulder is inside her brain.

“I’m not asking about me, though.” It’s good to know what kind of shape she’s in, and she’ll want that information for sure when the doctor visits, but it’s not her biggest concern.

Bruno’s smile looks forced. “Well, if you’re asking about your plant babies I’m afraid I don’t have much news. The building was not in great shape, for sure, but I didn’t exactly stick around to -”

“I’m asking about you, idiot! What else happened to you that you’re trying to hide from me?”

His silence speaks volumes. “What makes you think I’m trying -”

She wants to punch him, but she doesn’t know where else he might be hurt, so she settles for glaring. “You just confirmed it. What. Is. It.”

He sighs. “Nothing major, I promise. I got burned right back here…” Turning his head, he points out the gauze sticking out just above the neckline on the back of his shirt. “But again, they’ve taken care of it.”

Memories of feeling something crashing down on them fight to become solid in her mind. He has a burn from a traumatic night now. Just like her. Will he always carry the nightmares with him? Will it hurt him long after he’s supposedly healed? Tentatively, she reaches up and runs her fingers along the edge of the bandage, fighting back the urge to cry again.

Bruno watches her face carefully, and gives a soft smile. “I’d do it again and again, babe.” Leaning down, he kisses the top of her head.

Anger washes over her. Now that she knows where he’s hurt, she has no qualms about punching him in the shoulder as hard as her weak arm can. “Don’t you dare do it again. You can’t get hurt like that because of me.”

Catching her fist before she can punch him again, he pulls it in close to his chest. “No, because I love you and I can’t bear to be without you, babe. Also…I made a promise to someone very important.”

Kamaria ignores the second part, latching onto the first. “I don’t want to live without you, either! You can’t just sacrifice yourself for me when I love you, too. I need you to stay with me.” Her throat clogs up and she has to swallow her emotions down, forcing the anger to remain. “I need you to take care of yourself.”

She’s seen the way he looks when he’s getting frustrated with her enough times to recognize it right away. Ironically, it’s often because she’s stubbornly refusing to take care of herself. Now it’s the opposite.

“You know I’d do anything to keep you safe. You can’t ask me not to, it’s like asking me to not be myself.” He sucks in a deep breath, eyes searching hers. “I want to be with you for a long time.”

“Then you have to take care of yourself!” She understands where he’s coming from, she really does, because if it were him inside a burning building she’d do her best to rush inside and save him, too. Maybe that makes her a hypocrite. But she needs him to somehow understand how him getting hurt makes her feel, especially when she’s the cause. They’ve done this far too many times already. And it’s times like these, when he seems to think he’s an acceptable sacrifice for her well-being, that she wonders if she’s completely failed at making clear to him how much he means to her. She’s not the best at showing affection, she knows that. It comes far more naturally to him, even though she’s improved drastically since being in a relationship with him. She really does love him in a way that she’s never loved anyone before.

“Think about how you’d feel if you lost me. That’s exactly how I would feel if I lost you.” Finally allowing herself to soften, she places one bandaged hand against his stubbled cheek. “I love that you want to take care of me. And I’m very thankful that you saved me. I just don’t want you putting yourself at risk.”

Bruno’s brow creases in a look of sadness, and he nods. “I know. I just want to be a good enough man for you. I know I’m an idiot. But…” Bringing his own hand up, he strokes a thumb across her cheek. “Dang it, Kamaria, I love you to death. Can I do something?”

One eyebrow goes up. “As long as it isn’t something life threatening.”

Chuckling, he leans down and gently kisses her lips. “Is that okay?”

Both their lips are dry from the fire, but she’ll never get tired of him kissing her. Kamaria fights back a smile. “Mmm…I suppose. Maybe I need another one to make up for the you being an idiot part.”

His smile grows until it’s spread across his whole face. “I can do that, babe.” The second kiss lingers, warm and full of love in a way that only he can make it. She closes her eyes and melts into it.

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

<< Beginning < Prev. || AO3 || My website

Chapter 52: June 1996

If this is what most primary schools are like, Gerard thinks, he’s astonishingly grateful to his mother for teaching him at home. For a given degree of “teaching”, anyway.

Martin insists it isn’t, and he’s told Gerard about the school he went to in Devon before he and his mother moved to London—he actually seems to miss it—but Gerard isn’t convinced. The whole building seems tired and sagging, but it’s also extremely clinical and impersonal. Everything is cinderblock and grey tile and plain doors with mesh in the glass. Bells bristle on the walls like boils, and all in all it seems more like a prison than a place of learning. Of course, Gerard isn’t entirely certain they’re all that different anyway.

The actual meeting takes place in the gymnasium, which has a wooden floor but is otherwise made of the same depressing cinderblocks as the rest of the building, and there is an almost coyly twee sign reading Support for Parents Alone Raising Kids, the capitalized letters obvious and adorned in glitter to make the SPARK stand out. The parents in question, mostly mothers, sit on metal folding chairs in only slightly better shape than the gymnasium. The kids in question, however, are currently being shooed outside.

Gerard does not want to go outside. He caught a glimpse of the playground on the way in, thank you very much, and it looks like a tetanus shot waiting to happen. Rust and concrete and sand and nothing particularly exciting. He’d much rather stay inside and listen to the meeting, or go hole up in the library—surely this place has a library. But Martin is tugging him outside, and, okay, he’ll play along.

Gerard’s a bit surprised, but he really likes this kid. Part of it is that he’s not immune to a bit of hero-worship and Martin tends to look at him like he’s some kind of minor god, but mostly it’s just that…well, Martin is a genuinely nice person. He’s amazingly brilliant for a seven-year-old, a fast and voracious reader—he’s read even more books than Gerard has—and he’s got, so Gerard thinks, the voice of an angel. His fondness for poetry is a bit of an irritation, but again, he’s seven, he’ll probably grow out of sentimental nonsense like that. Anyway, if Martin thinks they should go outside with the other children, Gerard will let him take the lead. After all, this is his first time being here; Mrs. Blackwood has been attending, and bringing Martin, for several weeks now.

Gerard isn’t sure why his mother agreed to come, actually, since his dad’s been gone at least five years now and she definitely doesn’t need any support in raising him, but she did and he already knows better than to question her actions.

There are about a dozen kids that spill out onto the playground and scatter to the corners. Several of the girls run over to pick up skipping ropes; most of the boys begin kicking a ball around. Others race for the climbing structure or the rickety slide. None of it appeals to Gerard.

“What do you usually do?” Gerard asks Martin, who hasn’t run to join any of the groups. He assumes Martin is waiting for him to choose what they’ll do, but surely Martin has a favorite activity.

Martin scuffs his shoe against the concrete, a bit shyly, and doesn’t look up at Gerard when he answers. “I, um, I like the swings.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Gerard lies. Like everything else on the playground, the swing set seems to be comprised of metal and rust, and he isn’t entirely sure what the point of them is either. Just to sit on them? It doesn’t sound like his idea of fun, but if Martin likes them…

There was a bit of a drizzle this morning, but it’s cleared up now; still, the pavement is damp in places and there are a few undeniable puddles where the yard sags and dips. Gerard is thankful for the new—well, new to him anyway—boots he bought at the secondhand shop last week; though worn, they still have deep treads that keep him from slipping as they head across the playground. He’s still wearing a three-piece suit, which he hates, but…baby steps. Sooner or later he’ll be able to save up enough of his pocket money to buy the clothes he wants to wear, and maybe eventually his mother will get the hint and stop dressing him like a small professor. They’re not upper class, whatever she says about her ancestors, and Gerard is pretty sure that the rich assholes who come to buy rare books from his mother can see through his outfits clearly enough. They know he’s trash. He might as well dress like it.

Martin rounds a teeter-totter that looks even more unsafe than the rest of the playground equipment and stutters to a halt, nearly making Gerard trip over him. He’s about to ask what’s wrong when he sees it, too. Someone else got to the swings first.

Someone else is a girl who’s either very young or very small for her age. Gerard finds himself envious of her outfit, not because he wants to wear that exactly—he can’t imagine anyone wanting to wear that many colors at the same time—but because she very obviously picked it out herself, because no way would her mother (he assumes it’s her mother) select something like this for her. She’s wearing a shirt with orange and white horizontal stripes, bright purple dungarees with tiny pale lilac flower buds printed all over them, and hot pink high-top sneakers with glittery laces, and her hair is pulled into two bunches on either side of her head and secured with something with bright, slightly translucent blue balls on the ends. She has a puffy gold star sticker under each eye like some kind of war paint, and she’s staring at the swing with narrowed eyes and her hands on her hips like she’s challenging it to something.

Gerard assumes they’ll be moving on to find something else to do, but to his surprise, Martin clears his throat. “Um, hi.”

The girl starts and whirls on them. Her scowl somehow deepens, and her fists come up in front of her. It would be intimidating if she wasn’t so tiny, but as it is, Gerard isn’t impressed.

“What?” she demands.

Martin gives her a smile that seems a bit shaky and indicates the swings. “Um, can—can we join you? O-on the swings?”

The girl considers this for a minute, then eyes the swings before looking back at Martin. “There are only two.”

“That’s okay, you two can have them,” Gerard says quickly before Martin can offer. “I’ll just watch or something.”

He’ll watch, all right. He’ll watch long enough for Martin to make friends with this new girl and forget he’s there, and then he can slip off inside. He’ll probably feel bad about that later, but at least he’s not abandoning Martin with no one to play with if he and Miss Thing here get on.

“Well…okay.” The girl lifts her chin almost defiantly and sticks out a hand towards them. “I’m Melanie.”

“I’m Martin, and this is Gerard,” Martin says, taking her hand and shaking it. “It’s nice to meet you, Melanie.”

“Uh…yeah…hi,” Gerard says. He, too, shakes her hand when she offers it.

Martin smiles, a bit more confidently this time. Melanie doesn’t exactly smile back, but at least she’s not scowling. “You can have that swing. I’m going to get on this one.”

“Okay.”

Martin goes over to the swing indicated and circles it for a moment, then leans forward to snag the chain. Gerard isn’t sure why until he notices the twin puddles directly under both swings. He realizes that generations of feet scuffing at the ground have worn a bit of a dip that allows water to collect, and Martin is worried—most likely rightly—that his mother will have kittens if he gets his shoes muddy. Once Martin has the swing in hand, he maneuvers himself so he’s facing away from it, takes a deep breath, and gives a little hop. Somehow he settles into the seat correctly without falling; it immediately swings backwards, and Martin holds on desperately and tries to kick his feet to straighten himself out and keep from swinging over onto Melanie’s side of the swings.

Melanie tries to do the same, but Gerard realizes very quickly that it won’t work. Apart from the fact that she’s shorter than Martin, the seat is somehow higher than the other side. If she leans forward without stepping into the puddle, she’s going to fall face-first into it. Gerard tries to figure out how to tell her that without making it look like he’s being a bully. Then, as Martin finally gets his trajectory more or less under control, Gerard notices that the swing has been wrapped over the top bar of the swing set.

“Well, duh,” Melanie says when he points this out. “Otherwise your feet get wet.”

“Yeah, but you can’t reach it. Hang on.” Gerard manages to plant his feet on either side of the puddle and tosses the swing a few times until he manages to get it over the top, with a rattle and a clank. Once it settles, he pulls it back and hands it to Melanie. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Melanie eyes him suspiciously for a minute, but takes the chains in either hand. She tries several times to haul herself up into the seat, but doesn’t quite manage it, and on her final try nearly gets dragged into the puddle. She manages to brake herself and backs up, then looks over at Gerard. “Can you hold it steady for me while I get on? Please?”

The please is clearly an afterthought, but Gerard doesn’t care all that much about politeness, and he’s a bit surprised to be asked anyway. He takes the chain and holds the swing as requested.

It still takes Melanie two or three tries, but she finally manages to get herself settled. Gerard holds on for just a second, until Martin swings out of the way, then lets go and steps to one side. As an afterthought, watching Martin’s still-wobbly swing, he catches his chain and manages to stop him, then straightens him out before pulling him back and letting him go as well.

“Thanks, Gerard,” Martin says happily, kicking his feet in their battered trainers forward.

“Thanks, Gerard,” Melanie echoes.

Gerard blinks. “Uh, yeah, sure, no problem.”

He watches for a few moments. They seem happy enough, and he’s about ready to try to slink off when Melanie asks, “Is this your first time coming here?”

“Not mine. Mum’s been coming for a few weeks,” Martin answers, his sentence punctuated with the tiniest of pauses every time he reaches the acme of his swing and pumps himself backwards or forwards. “It’s Gerard’s first time, though.”

“Oh.” Melanie twists her head to study Gerard with a frown. The action makes her swing start twisting slightly, and she hurriedly turns to face forward again. “But aren’t you brothers?”

“No.” Gerard tries not to sound appalled at the idea. It’s not that he doesn’t like Martin, he does, but he wouldn’t want Mrs. Blackwood as a mum any more than he would wish his mother on another child. He comes around and catches Melanie’s swing to stop it twisting before it slams into Martin and straightens it out, then gives her a little push when he lets go. “My mother is friends with his.”

“Oh,” Melanie says again. She doesn’t tuck her feet as far under herself this time when she reaches the top of her arc, and Gerard instinctively takes a step back and gives her another little push when she comes close enough. “So you don’t have a dad? Either of you?”

Martin shakes his head, but doesn’t elaborate. Gerard’s not surprised. He’s only known Martin about six weeks, and in that whole time, he’s never heard him mention his dad once. He gives Martin a push as well—it’s only fair—and tells Melanie, “Haven’t for a while. Mine died when I was about your age. I don’t remember him too well, really.”

“How old are you?” Melanie asks suspiciously.

“Ten.”

“I’m seven,” Martin interjects. “But I’ll be eight in August.”

“I’m seven, too,” Melanie says. “My birthday’s not until November, though.”

Martin kicks his feet out to push himself backwards. “‘Not yesterday I learned to know / The love of bare November days…’”

“Robert Browning?” Gerard hazards, catching Martin lightly and pushing him forward, then shifting to do the same for Melanie.

“Frost.”

“Who’s that?” Melanie asks. She tips her head back to look at Gerard, then squeaks as the chain momentarily goes slack and nearly topples her backwards. Gerard instinctively starts forward to catch her, but she manages to correct herself.

“Robert Frost? He was a poet,” Martin explains. “He wrote lots of really great poems about nature, especially winter and autumn and all that. He was American, but he lived in a pretty part. Mrs. Dooley taught me about him.”

“Oh—you go to school here too?”

“Yup. I just started this term. I was in Mrs. Tisdale’s class.”

“I was in Mrs. Brown’s. Maybe we’ll both be in the same class next year.” Melanie glances at Gerard as she reaches the end of her swing. “Whose class were you in?”

“My mother teaches me at home.” Gerard tries not to sound superior.

Melanie grunts. “Figures.”

Gerard decides to turn the tables a bit. “What about your dad? How long has he been gone?”

“He isn’t. He’s inside.” Melanie stops kicking her feet, and Gerard notices her hands tighten around the chains, even as her chin drops to her chest. “Mama just died.”

Okay, now Gerard feels like a little bit of a jerk. Martin stops kicking his feet, too, and his face, when he looks at Melanie, is creased in sympathy. “I’m sorry, Melanie.”

Melanie looks up as she begins to slow, and there’s an almost angry look in her eyes. “I’m not going to forget her. Not when I’m ten and not when I’m ten hundred.”

Gerard almost corrects her that “ten hundred” is a thousand, but one look at the reproachful expression on Martin’s face and he swallows that. “I, um, I thought you were younger than seven, actually. It’s been five years almost. And he worked a lot before that, so I never really got to know him all that well. I’m sure you’ll remember your mother better.”

Melanie sniffs. She clearly means it to be defiant, but it sounds more like she’s about to cry. “She’s worth remembering.”

Martin gives her an encouraging smile. “Why don’t you tell us about her?”

Gerard grabs Melanie’s swing again and pulls her clear of the puddle. “Why don’t we go inside first?”

“We’re supposed to be outside,” Martin protests.

“I’m big enough to be responsible,” Gerard boasts. “We can go sit in the library.”

Melanie slips out of the swing and hops to one side. “If Mrs. Dooley is there, she’ll let us.”

“Well…” Martin wavers.

Gerard tugs Martin away from the puddle under his swing. “C’mon, Martin, don’t you trust me?”

It’s maybe a little bit unfair, but it works. Martin’s eyes widen briefly, and he slips out of the swing instantly. “Of course I trust you!”

“Come on then.” Gerard takes Martin’s hand and reaches for Melanie’s, too; she eyes him suspiciously, but accepts it.

The teenager who’s supposed to be watching them doesn’t notice them slipping inside, which is just fine with Gerard. They tiptoe down the hallway—the doors to the gymnasium are open and they don’t want to get caught—and to the only other set of double doors, with a brass plaque on the left one reading LIBRARY. There’s a light on inside, and when they pull it open, they’re met with a plump, matronly woman who greets them with a smile and open arms. She seems pleased to meet Gerard, and she readily directs them to a tiny cluster of chairs.

“There’s no one else here,” she says, her Scottish accent thick and heavy, “so you can be as loud as you like. I’ll let your parents know they can find you here after the meeting, but meantime, you three just settle down and enjoy yourselves, you hear?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Dooley,” Martin and Melanie say in unison with matching smiles. Mrs. Dooley laughs and bustles away.

Gerard looks at the two kids he’s inexplicably saddled himself with and wonders, for a fleeting moment, how he let things get this far. He wanted to be alone.

By the time his mother comes to collect all three of them, with the explanation that Mrs. Blackwood and Mr. King are in deep conversation and will meet them out front, he wonders why he ever thought that would be the better option.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Day 6: Proof of Life, with inspiration from the extra prompt Ransom Video.

Superpowered AU where the SBI are a team of heroes (tenuously) and Dream is a villain. After the seeming death of Tommy, Wilbur is grieving, but it turns out what Dream did to him was far worse. Warnings for grief, referenced child death (didn’t happen, but it’s believed to have), parental neglect, substance abuse, abuse, threats to a child, child endangerment, eye injury, mutilation, dehumanisation, and implied/referenced torture.

Quackity using she/her pronouns isn’t a mistake, by the way. I headcanon c!Quackity as transfem.

AO3 link, if you’d prefer. Whoever said it gets easier was a fucking liar, Wilbur Soot decided.

A month. It had been a month since Tommy was gone. It hurt to even say it in such vague terms. Tommy, the boy who smiled with bloody teeth even when everything seemed the darkest, who was always the last to give up, who was always there, wasn’t anymore.

Gone. Just like that.

Philza gave his hand a squeeze, and he realised he must have been trembling again. Or maybe Philza had that weird dad-sense thing where he just knew. Maybe if Wilbur had been a better father, not handed his son off to his wife so he could continue on in the hero business without him getting those he loved in danger, he’d be able to do the same. Fat lot of good that did, really.

He could really use a ciggie right now.

He’d quit last year or so, after Tommy had an awful coughing fit due to it. They’d always known his powers left him pretty weak for a while after using them, but seeing it first hand was frightening enough he’d thrown all his packets straight in the bin and suffered through the horrible shakes and urges that came. It still felt like ignoring a roast meal while dying of hunger, but he could do that for his little brother. But what was the point if Tommy was gone?

Wilbur should have died instead.

It was a routine assignment. It was meant to have been a routine assignment. Patrolling the streets, mostly just a PR gig. The SBI didn’t rise to the top without making a name for themselves, and Wilbur had learnt from the best. Phil and Tech might have been leery of it at first- the two were natural-born vigilantes really only in the hero department because they couldn’t risk that when Wilbur and later Tommy were young- but even they had to admit it gave them way more influence than being a disorganised duo of anarchistic bomb-throwers could.

There were sacrifices that had to be made to really change the world, that was Wilbur’s philosophy, but honestly, he could hardly call getting to beat up the idiots who tried to fight them for some lame street cred a sacrifice. In the big leagues, everyone knew you just didn’t do that. The real rules were a formality, and the actual rules were the ones negotiated between heroes, villains and vigilantes alike by Quackity. Her deals were the de facto law, and number one was that fights had to be organised, so she could rake it in on betting money.

It was just a bit of fun, the four of them dressing up and experimenting with their powers. Philza always yearned for the chance to spread his wings, fly as The Angel, even if he grumbled about having to lose the “of Death” part for marketing reasons. Tech- well, quite honestly, Wilbur hadn’t even learnt his real name despite growing up with him as permanent a fixture in his life as his father, always clad in his pink mask and practising incessantly even when the four of them were meant to be relaxing. As for Wilbur himself, being Phantom felt like such a relief. For some reason, being able to just disappear made him feel so much freer, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders.

And Tommy… God, all he wanted was to be included.

Wilbur was already eighteen and finished the mentorship program when they’d got the shivering form of a gangly, sickly child clad in rags dumped on their doorsteps by Mayor Schlatt himself. Wilbur had always hated the man- Quackity had admitted enough things about him when she was piss-drunk that he was able to know he was a snivelling abusive coward- but when he’d smugly informed them it was a government-captured rogue super, the most powerful of his young age, and they needed to tame him or else, well, Wilbur joined in on the secret plans to blow the city of L’Manberg sky high with his father and his godfather alike.

Brash and angry and scared and confused by the most basic of compassion, there was no fucking way that they were going to get Tommy involved in any of this. Not the Schlatt stuff, and not the crime-fighting either. He needed to be kept safe.

Tommy didn’t hold the same opinion.

He was twelve, chubby-cheeked with his once-matted hair in cascading curls, the only hints of his origins the manifold scars coating his body, when he first asked to join them. They’d laughed him off at first, until he insisted that they’d watch him, see how helpful he could be, how he could pay them back. Sceptically, they’d let him demonstrate, and something in the air shifted.

Wilbur didn’t know how it was for Phil, for Tech, but the feeling of power surging through him like a raging river was something he could never forget. Instinctively, he knew every last inch of his body, every last application to his power. Not just intangibility, invisibility, but something new. The muffling of his steps, the ability to mask his presence completely. And he knew the longer he stayed attached to this wellspring, the more it would grow. As long as Tommy was around, he’d be able to grow stronger, better in every way. It was addicting.

Selfishly, so fucking selfishly, they’d let Tommy join them, donning the mask as Prime. Whatever excuses they made about it, they’d exploited him. Put him in danger for their own sakes. And now he was dead because of them.

The only reason Wilbur still kept going, didn’t give into that sickening urge to join his brother, was that it was also because of Dream.

The most wanted villain in L’Manberg- hell, one of the most wanted in the world. Mysterious to a fault, no one even had a fucking clue what his powers were, just that they were powerful enough he was able to flaunt Quackity’s rules no matter how many goons she sent after him. Rumours abounded that he was in bed with the mayor- not literally, else Quackity might have actually had some fucking dirt on him- and Wilbur always had the sneaking suspicion he had something to do with Tommy’s arrival. He definitely did with his… departure.

It was so sudden. One second, everything was fine. The next, he was there, and the rest was a hazy blur until all that was left was blood on the pavement and the ache of broken bones. Wilbur didn’t realise what had happened until he saw a bloodied eye, the same electric blue as Tommy’s. Just an eye. That was all that was even left.

They’d buried it somewhere quiet and told no one about what happened. They couldn’t bear that. Wilbur knew Philza blamed himself as much as he did, Tech blamed himself as much as he did. Tech refused to ever stop training now, leaving his books in the dust in a desperate attempt to grow ever stronger. Philza spent days out in flight, cut off from the rest of the world. And Wilbur… well, he was running on pure anger. All he had left in him was to take Dream down, and then…

He focused his eyes onto the garish screens in the shopping district, flashing a million ads at once, just to ground himself on something. He’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

Suddenly, a loud, glitching sound rang out. Wilbur covered his ears, and squinted as the display on the screens- all of the screens- changed. The plaza turned to stunned silence as people turned and watched.

Crackling to life was a blurry image of a boy, one side of his face covered in so many bandages any features could barely be made out. Blond curls circled his face like a halo, immaculate braiding keeping it in place. Despite being dressed in expensive-looking clothing- a shirt with so many ruffles it threatened to consume him and a soft green cardigan- deep bruises covered what little parts of his skin were visible. His eye was trained anywhere but the camera, and on further inspection, he seemed to be tied to the velvet chair he was sitting on.

“Aren’t you going to smile for the camera?” It was distorted, but Wilbur could tell the tone of the voice anywhere. Dream. Of fucking course it was him. Taunting bastard enjoyed making people squirm. He’d seen what that fucking monster had done to Quackity when she’d gone after him (she’d always been quite fond of Tommy, despite herself). The fact that she even survived was a fucking miracle, and Wilbur had to be thankful that he didn’t have two dead friends on his conscience.

“M’ sorry, Mr. Dream,” said a groggy voice (an all too familiar groggy voice, but Wilbur heard Tommy in everything now). Weakly, the poor bastard lifted his head, forcing a weak smile on the side of his face visible, and he glanced at the camera with his singular eye.

His singular, electric blue eye.

It felt like all the air in Wilbur’s body had been knocked out, like he’d been kicked in the stomach again and again. Tommy. There was no doubt about that. Tommy was alive. He was there, on that screen, pale and looking a million times worse than the time he’d tried to use his powers for a whole day straight but alive. After all this time, Tommy was alive.

But Tommy was with Dream.

Tommy was with Dream, and that might have been worse. With what he’d done to Quackity…what had been happening to Tommy in the month he’d been captured? Why was he so unnaturally quiet, almost passive? The Tommy Wilbur knew would have kicked and screamed and spat, not just… give up. Obey.

Wilbur grabbed onto Philza’s hand tight enough he could feel blood pooling under his nails.

“There you go. That wasn’t too bad, was it?” The sickeningly soft tone of Dream’s voice there somehow hurt less than the genuine spark of satisfaction in Tommy’s eyes at that. “You can just sit still now, I promise.”

There was a pause as Tommy slunk back into the chair, looking like he hadn’t slept in days, before Dream started speaking again. “Phantom. Technoblade. The Angel. I know you’re watching this, and I know you want your little amplifier back. After all, you’ve been using him since before he hit his teens, right? Or does the public not know how old he was when you led him into danger? Who cares, who cares? You want him back; that’s the thing.”

Another pause, long enough Wilbur could hear his heart not beating. “Meet me at the ruins out past the outskirts in a week, and do exactly as I say, and I might consider letting you have the brat. He’s been growing on me though, and his power has been very useful when he’s been… motivated, so I might just change my mind if you’re not quick. And if you don’t?”

Dream’s laugh sounded almost innocent, cheerful, but it sent chills down Wilbur’s spine in this context. “I mean, I’ll send you a chunk of him as a keepsake. A sign of goodwill, y’know? I’ve been thinking… how about the other eye? Think about it.”

Everything faded to static, the video, the audio, the crowd around them in its panicked confusion. Everything but Philza, who still somehow felt solid.

“It’s a trap,” Wilbur murmured to him.

“I know.”

“We’re going anyway.”

Philza sighed. “I know.”

[obstinaterixatrix]

I really enjoyed this one, it’s about a detective who investigates infidelity and a concierge who is The Perfect Man. the thing is I consider it… really weird but in a pretty normal way. or pretty normal in a really weird way. like at first it’s like ‘oh there’s probably a blueberry shot situation here’ and then it’s like ‘oh there are slightly more blueberry shots than initially assumed’. probably wouldn’t rec it for folks who like low stakes or relationships that that are… hm… well it’s technically functional but I wouldn’t rec it to people who like reading about Functional Relationships

the artist had some really good humor

as for the Weird Vibes… I think this conveys it without spoiling everything?

I’ll leave content warnings in the tags

[mugloversonly]

Silver over Gold

Chapter one: Cracked

inspired by: this

ao3

Summary:

Eddie goes to Family Video, giddy to see Steve at work. It doesn't go well.

They’ve been together for three months. After Vecna, he never thought he’d be this happy; but ever since Steve kissed him on his couch, Eddie’s been on cloud nine.

Steve had been acting weird that whole day. They went to the diner and the record store and Steve bought Eddie any record he wanted. If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would have thought it was a date. Turns out, it was because the next thing he knew Steve’s lips were on his and the two have been together ever since.

They aren’t officially courting…yet. But it was only a matter of time, Steve promised. Eddie can be patient though, especially since he’s seen him turn down every other omega that made a pass at him.

At the beginning of this whole thing, Eddie made sure Steve knew he wanted exclusivity. He’d tried the causal thing before and it did not go too well for Eddie.

Steve reassured him he had nothing to worry about, Robin was the only other omega around Steve’s age in their friend group and they were just friends.

He wanted to believe him, even though everyone was saying they were dating or would be soon. Henderson especially was adamant. He’d constantly tell Eddie that Robin was the girl Steve was going to marry and he secretly loved her. He even tried to get him to help figure out if they were secretly dating.

He wanted to bring it up but didn’t want Steve to think he didn’t trust him so he pushed his insecurities to the side and trusted this alpha with all of him. His heat was a few weeks away and the two planned on spending it together. Eddie was nervous. He wasn’t a virgin by any means, but the last time he spent a heat with an alpha...well there’s a reason he’s never done it again.

But Steve, he trusts. He knows Steve will take care of him, like he’s been doing for the past few months, and make sure it’s a good experience. His omega is already purring at the thought and Eddie can’t sit in the trailer waiting for Steve anymore. He grabs his keys and goes to visit his alpha at work.

~~~

As he opened the door to Family Video, the bell chimes but the two employees don’t move. The first thing to register to Eddie was the scent of calming alpha pheromones and an underlying scent that stops his heart. As he stared at the two embracing in front of him, he knew now that he was a fool.

Steve’s arms were wrapped tight around Robin. The omega he told Eddie not to worry about, he said they were just friends. But as he stood frozen, Steve kissed Robin on the cheek near the corner of her mouth, and her scent flooded with joy. They were in their own little world as Eddie’s came crashing down.

Eddie’s normal blood orange scent turned sour as tears sprung to his eyes. He knew the moment it reached Steve because he looked up and gasped in shock. “Eddie!” he said. Eddie scoffed at the panic in his eyes and held back the tears. Humiliation filled him. He turned and bolted back out the door and into his van. Steve was running after him and nearly managed to grab the door before Eddie could pull away. He had to jump back to avoid getting his toes crushed. All the while he was screaming Eddie’s name but he didn’t stop, didn’t breath, until he was back in the government issued trailer. His chest tightened in a eerily familiar way and all he could think was not this again.

~~~

Wayne immediately noticed his anguish. “Ed? You alright?” Eddie didn’t pause on the way to his nest. He made a disgruntled noise and slammed his bedroom door shut. He looked at his nest and the tears finally fell. Steve’s presence was all over it. His yellow sweater was tucked into it, right near the top. It brought Eddie comfort the past few nights since Steve has been staying at his house. At least that’s what he said. But Eddie didn’t know if he believed that now.

Suddenly the idea of Steve’s scent being in his nest disgusted him. He ripped the nest apart and threw everything into the hamper, except Steve’s sweater. That he threw onto the couch on his way to the washer. Wayne watched concern written all over his face. He ignored his uncle’s look and threw everything into the washer. He poured way too much detergent in and pushed start. Then he went back into the living room and stopped short at the sweater on the chair.

He didn’t want to see it any more. He angrily picked it up and stalked through the front door. He threw it into the dirt and stomped away before coming back and throwing it into the trash can. There. Now he wouldn’t have to see it again. His eyes were still blurry when he came back in but he knew he needed to tell Wayne what happened. He sat down next to his uncle and slumped into him, tucking himself into his side as small as he could get. He didn’t say anything yet. He let Wayne hold him as he calmed down.

“What the hell happened, Ed?” Wayne asked. The older Alpha knew his son wouldn’t speak up unless asked.

“He lied Wayne.” Eddie sobbed. Through choking gasps and hiccups he told Wayne what he saw. “He promised she was just a friend. He promised. But he was emitting the same pheromones he does for me.” Wayne released calming alpha pheromones that soothed his nephew. There was a spicy scent of anger there too but Eddie knew it wasn’t at him. “He's gonna leave me, Wayne. Just like everyone else. What am I gonna do?” He asked.

“First things first, let’s build you a new nest okay?” Wayne said. Eddie nodded and the two went to his room. Wayne gave him the flannel he was wearing and the two set about rebuilding. Wayne always helped him as he was the only person Eddie trusted with such a personal ritual. Soon his bed was covered in blankets, Wayne’s clothes, and a shirt from his mom that had long lost it’s scent. He crawled in and began rolling around in it as Wayne tucked him in. “Try to rest kid. I’m calling out of work tonight so I’ll be home if you need me.” Usually Eddie would protest but he really didn’t want to be alone right now.

“Can you come back and sit with me for a bit?” He whispered. He felt small and like he was about to break. He needed his uncle’s presence even if he had to ask like a pup to get it. Wayne agreed and stepped out.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door but Eddie couldn’t be bothered to get it. He curled onto his side into a tight ball. The agony was unreal, one he’d unfortunately felt a few times. Rejection sickness.

Wayne gently opened the door, “Eds. Steve’s at the door. He looks right devastated.” He admitted. “Want me to let him in?”

“I never want to see him again.” Eddie whispered even as his omega cried out for his alpha.

“Son, are you sure?” The older alpha asked. Eddie turned to face him.

“Please, dad.” He choked out. Wayne nodded, ducking out back to the front door. If Eddie didn’t want to handle it, then he was more torn up than Wayne guessed.

He waited until he heard the front door close then he let his omega mourn. He’s always been more in tune with his hind brain than anyone else he’d ever met. It made him more likely to act on instinct but it also made it less likely he’d go feral. He usually loved it, but right now, he wanted nothing more than to fade away and let his instincts take full control.

When Wayne came back, he didn’t say anything. He just sat in Eddie’s nest and let him curl into his side. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out soothing pheromones: the same he released when Eddie’s mama died. It helped dull it, but it couldn’t prevent the sickness altogether. Rejection sickness had its tells, but every omega was slightly different. Unfortunately, Wayne knew all the signs in his nephew. It’s happened twice before: once due to his own father; and once due to his last alpha. Wayne hoped Steve was different but it wasn’t looking good.

Wayne resolved to let Eddie rest for a few days before he forced him to the hospital.

~~~

Eddie moved around the trailer like a ghost for days. After that first night, Wayne couldn’t call out any more, but he made sure to spend as much time with Eddie during the day as he could, even going so far as to sleep in the nest in a puppy pile. During the day, he didn’t feel too lonely. His heart hurt, but he was able to get out of his nest a few times. Wayne sent Steve away every time he came by or called.

But at night when he was alone, the rejection he felt knowing Steve lied was slowly destroying him. He ignored every ring of the phone just to be safe, and refused to answer the door. He spent countless hours digging through his stuff and finding every little thing of Steve’s and putting it in a box. He’d make Wayne give it to him.

He was stuck in a loop of endless thoughts, jumping from hating Steve for doing this to hating himself for falling for it...again. He thought Steve was a different alpha. He was always a romantic in school with his girlfriends, Eddie always hoped he felt as serious about him.

But he was wrong. And he was suffering for it while Steve was out there with a beautiful girl laughing about his stupid conquest.

His scent was fading. The doctor warned him after the last time that it would hit him a lot faster and harder if it happened again and recommended he take medication that helped lower the risk. Stupidly, he stopped taking them once he thought Steve was serious. Why would he need medication preventing rejection sickness when he had the perfect alpha in his bed? God he was an idiot. Maybe letting the sickness take him this time was better than fighting it.

He was pulled from his spiraling by a knock on the window. He tried ignoring it, but it was insistent. He jumped up and slammed the window open, planning on telling whatever sheep was there to fuck off, but he stopped in his tracks. Steve was standing on the other side looking as devastatingly handsome as ever, even though he was clearly angry. The omega whimpered as he unlocked the window before returning to cower in his nest while Steve let himself in.

“What are you doing here Steve?” Eddie asked as confidently as he could as his omega shook with fear. Steve stared at him for a moment.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Steve stepped forward and went to sit on the edge of Eddie’s bed. Eddie growled at him and bared his teeth. It wasn’t particularly threatening against the alpha, but Steve took the hint and sat at his desk instead. “I came to explain.”

“You don’t need to explain, just leave like I know you’re going to. I should have known.” Eddie spat. “You’re such a liar.” The tears hadn’t stopped, but now they turned cold in anger. “Wayne told you I didn’t want to see you.” Steve sighed softly.

“I thought maybe he said that because he’s your pack alpha and he didn’t actually ask you.” He admitted.

“You told me you’d never leave me. Was that just bullshit?” Eddie yelled unable to contain himself.

“Don’t call me bullshit.” Steve growled, his alpha voice peaking through. Eddie shrank down, trying to make himself smaller and brought his arms up to protect his face. He didn’t think Steve would hurt him, especially with Wayne in the house. But he’s also never used his alpha voice on him.

“Get out.” He demanded meekly. Steve stood and for a second, Eddie thought he would. But instead he crossed the room and knelt next to the bed. “Do you love her?” Eddie glared, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Yes I do. Robin is my best friend.” Steve attempted to reassure. But Eddie didn’t want to hear more lies. The box of Steve’s things were by the door and he shoved it into his hands.

“Forget my number, knothead.” He sneered and strode out of his room ignoring Steve’s gasp.

Wayne was at the stove cooking mac and cheese when Eddie walked in, closely followed by Steve. “Eds? You okay?” He asked.

“No.” Came instantly and tight lipped. Wayne turned around to see the boys glaring at each other, but he noticed Eddie was slightly shaking in fear. He turned off the stove and crossed to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder. His nephew calmed slightly.

“What are you doing here, Harrington?” Wayne narrowed his eyes at the boy.

“No offense Wayne, but this is between Eddie and I.” Steve directed at Wayne though his eyes didn’t move. The younger alpha was trying to assert himself but this was Wayne’s territory. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eddie subtly shake his head. He calmly sat in his recliner and pulled a newspaper over his face, clearly saying act like I’m not here, but I ain’t leaving.

“Why are you here?” Eddie asked again. Steve turned away from Wayne with a scoff.

“I love you.” Steve replied simply. Eddie’s eyes narrowed and he grabbed an empty beer bottle from the recycling bin. He threw it as hard as he could at Steve’s feet.

“How dare you!” He yelled.

“She’s just my friend!” Steve yelled back, unable to reign in his alpha. He was trying to stay calm but Eddie wouldn’t listen. When he saw him flinch back, Steve took a deep breath, he didn’t want to scare him.

“She’s why you won’t court me isn’t she?” He screamed.

“No!” Steve exclaimed dodging another bottle.

“Liar! You kissed her!” He threw another bottle.

“On the cheek!” Steve’s nostrils flared and he scented the air. Suddenly all his anger evaporated.

“You let me fall in love with you. I told you things that I’ve never told anyone but Wayne.” Eddie threw bottle after bottle, until Wayne finally wrapped his arms around his boy. The anger was fading into anguish.“What does she have that I don’t?” He crumpled into Wayne’s arms. “Why would you do this? I thought you wanted me.” The two embracing men sat on the couch with the younger tucking himself into his uncle. “I thought you were different.” His eyes finally met Steve’s again. What Steve saw in them nearly stopped his heart. “I thought you were different, but you’re just like them.” Eddie could no longer see Steve. Lost in his memories of hurts past. “You’re leaving just like them.”

Wayne commanded the younger alpha to approach slowly. He did and crouched in front of Eddie. “I do love her.” The omega whined but Steve forced himself to continue. “She’s like my sister. She got in a huge fight with her friend and I was comforting her. I know how it looks, I do. But I promise. It’s not like that.” He implored.

“I want to believe you.” Eddie whispered.

“Then believe me” He begged lifting his hand to stroke Eddie’s cheek. At the omega’s flinch he dropped his hand, palm up in offer. Eddie didn’t take it.

“I don’t know what to do, Stevie.” Eddie whispered. “You promised you’d never leave.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Steve blinked a few times but didn’t move.

“Please, I can’t…can’t stand it...it hurts, Stevie...I...” Eddie trailed off. “I can’t do this right now, I need a little time.” Tears ran down his face again, his eyes drained of all life. “Don’t leave me just give me a little time, please.” Steve looked up at Wayne. He was at a loss. On one hand, he didn’t want to leave Eddie. But on the other, he didn’t want to upset him further. He was stuck in an omega drop and there was going to be nothing anyone could do if he didn’t snap out of it soon.

“You should get going Steve.” Wayne said. “Call in the morning when I get home from the plant?” Wayne lifted his eyebrows trying to communicate something. Steve nodded and stood to go.

“I’m sorry I hurt you Eddie.” Steve whispered. “I never wanted to do that. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, no matter how long it takes. I promise.” He left the trailer, clutching the box to his chest, and trying to ignore the sounds of broken omega and a lack of that blood orange scent he loved.

~~~

When he got home he called Robin. He didn’t tell her any details, but he did tell her it didn’t go well and made her promise to leave it alone. That night Steve laid in bed staring at the ceiling. His heart cracked open further as he thought about everything he did wrong. The ignored calls and visits, being turned away by Wayne; at first Steve thought Eddie was just mad at him. He used his alpha voice on Eddie in anger. He showed up half-cocked and frustrated; so blind by his need to clear the air that he couldn’t see the distress his omega was in. His omega needed him but he wasn’t there. He scoffed at himself. His omega. How dare he even think that about Eddie.

He loves him; but, he didn’t start officially courting him. He was so afraid of getting his heart broken again that he broke someone else. Because he’s sure now. It wasn’t just Eddie’s heart that cracked in the entry way to Family Video; it was his soul. His very being was crushed into dust by Steve. If he could have just gotten over his stupid fears, he wouldn’t be here. His...the omega wouldn’t be spiraling into a drop. He smelled as if he’d been suffering rejection sickness untreated for months but it had only been a few days.

Steve shattered the love of his life.

@v3lv3tf0x @lexirosewrites

[whumptywhumpdump]

Random update for my Adam series! Really, this is just me processing my own feelings and throwing them on the poor boy as usual...

Cw: well... grief and referenced parental death, overall just a bit of angst.

---------------------------------------

Grief

At first, he'd think about them all the time and feel the walls closing in, his world crumbling around him. His eyes would tear up immediately, and it was a struggle to not break down. The pain was all consuming and incapacitating. Nothing else seemed to matter in the face of it.

Adam knew he had been happy, but he could simply not remember the feeling. He'd lie awake for hours wondering why and feeling tears run out the corners of his eyes and into the shells of his ears, soak into his pillow. He could see people worried about him, he was worried about himself. And yet, it didn't seem to matter because his family was gone.

After a couple weeks he started thinking maybe that was just how the rest of his life would be, he would just forever feel like this.

But he didn't.

Time went on and without realizing, suddenly Adam didn't feel bad all the time. Of course, that was what made him feel bad then, he wasn't supposed to feel better so soon was he? It had barely been a month, how was it that he went a whole day without crying? How was it that he felt happy with the choice of lunch at the house?

His brain felt like two different people, one desperately trying to feel better and another wanting to hold on to his pain. He didn't know which one to follow.

But the weeks kept passing and his choice apparently went away with them. He still thought about his family near constantly, and the thought of them still made him sad, but it felt different now. Where before he thought his chest might cave in and drag him down into darkness, his sadness now felt more contained. It didn't leak into the other aspects of the life he was building as much.

He could be helping with chores, reading, getting ready for sleep, laughing at something (he could do that again), and think of his parents, of Hannah, and the sadness would still come, he would still wonder why but his body wouldn't crumble, his laughter wouldn't stop.

The memories of the ones he lost could now live with him, and so he could keep on living.

He did not know that yet, but there would come a day where even the thought of them would be less frequent and so much more life would have happened since, that he would hardly even notice.

---------------------------

Unsuspecting taglist attack! (Lemme know if you want to be included or taken out of it):

@boxboysandotherwhump @deluxewhump @aseasonwithclarasblog @angst-after-dark @ashintheairlikesnow

[czeriahshiptank]

Hi ! New fic just dropped....

Heaven envies the geese - Czeriahx

Summary:

Just as I was about to lay Tiān Zhīnǚ onto one of the bed, she grabbed my arm and, for the first time, spoke to me. Her voice was as soft as a breeze, made rough by her earlier crying, but I felt my heart flutter at being acknowledged nonetheless.

“My, my coat. You saved me, you have to give me my coat back.” “Your coat ?” “Yes. If you think any good of me, Lán HuáiYì, find my coat and give it back to me. You gain nothing while keeping it, I assure you.”

As soon as the words escaped her lips, I remembered the words of my master, and for the first time of my life, I lied.

“I will my lady.”

And then, he did not.

-----

Or, my take on what happened to Madam Lán, with a healthy portion of divergence and shapeshifters.

----------------->>>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43880899 <<<-----------------

[sammydem0n64]

Scarlet and violent love having canon kill counts. I have a proposal for Dead Meat YouTube.

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

List of words for the computer:

LONG POST- more under the cut

STANFORD- Pulls up a file on Stanford Pines, written by an unknown scientist. It discusses his extra finger and praises his intelligence, as well as calling him the “next evolution in the human species”.

BILL CIPHER- Takes you to the Wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence. Also took me to a Sesame Street video about a Jazzy Triangle and a Square. Not sure what prompted the change.

STANLEY PINES: Takes you to a list of EBay listings for brass knuckles.

FIDDLEFORD: Takes you to the music video for Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex.

SHERMIE: Nothing. I sure do wish we got some lore about Grandpa Pines.

GRAVITY FALLS: The text on the computer reads “never heard of it” and the red light on the bottom turns green.

ALEX HIRSCH: Leads to Google Images for “flannel”. Huh.

WEIRDMAGEDDON: Pulls up an article from the Gravity Falls Gossiper about how nothing happened at all and there was no apocalypse.

DISNEY: Screen reads “rat.gif censored for your protection”

SOOS: Leads to a page of writing from Soos himself, referencing many things (including Tad Strange being gay and madly in love with Woodpecker Guy. Love wins!!!)

DIPPER: Leads to a creepy yellow parchment with a message from Bill Cipher himself trying to trick Dipper into blinding himself by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight! Silly! (Also if you keep clicking on it, the page gets darker and blurrier until it implies we've gone blind)

MABEL: Causes stickers to appear on every available surface. Clicking it enough times leads to message “lab now fully Mabelized”.

WENDY: Leads to a note from Wendy that mentions a way to ward off evil triangles written in the bottom corner of the book.

GIDEON: Makes a web recording of Gideon scatting play. It ends with “I love you forever Mabel”. Please shut the fuck up you little creep.

TAD STRANGE: Plays a video of bread with smooth jazz in the background.

TOBY DETERMINED: Leads to a Google search for a restraining order. Holyyyyy shittttttt

WHO ARE YOU: “I could ask you the same question”

SEASON 3: “Season Two”. I guess that’s that lol

This was about all I could find. Please reblog with anything else you can discover! Thank you, fellow Gravity Falls enjoyers!

And make sure to give some love to all the wonderful folks down in the comments! Many of these answers and tips come from what they've found. I can't list everyone, unfortunately- I didn't expect this post to get popular- but, to everyone who's helped out, THANK YOU.

FURTHER EDITS:

BLIND EYE: Pulls up an optometrist’s eye exam. Each line reads “WKHBOOVHH”. Too lazy to translate atm.

PIÑATA: Bill Cipher getting beaten to death /hj

MASON: A note from Dipper listing several anagrams of Gravity Falls characters’ names. You can check in the comments for the answers.

AXOLOTL: “You ask alotl questions”. Thanks for the pun, Alex, but I’m kind of losing my mind rn

MYSTERY SHACK: Leads to a Google search for Confusion Hill, the real-life Mystery Shack!

MYSTERY: “?”

MONSTER: Leads to several YouTube videos for “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book.”

VALLIS CINERIS: Leads to an analog-horror-esque video of Baby Bill and his parents, who have been blotted out by static, and a voice repeating “WHY DID YOU DO IT” over and over again until you stop the video.

PORTAL: “Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build a new one.”

GIFFANY: You need to put it in multiple times. Several warnings about breaching firewall, followed by a message from GIFFANY saying “SOOS! I still love you!” or smth like that, and then GIFFANY herself briefly appearing onscreen. Trying again after that summons her more. Also lets you download some ZIP files.

DORITO: Summons an image of a spinning Dorito, followed by the most cursed image of Bill Cipher I have ever seen.

GOD: A short video of an axolotl in a tank with a Bill Cipher statue plays. This is Alex’s axolotl, shown in the Book of Bill countdown.

REALITY: “Is an illusion”

FILBRICK: “I’m not impressed”

CARYN: “I knew you were gonna write that”

GLASS SHARD BEACH: Leads to an image of the New Jersey Hell Hole.

ANY CUSS WORD: Pulls up a paper reading “NOT S&P APPROVED. WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP” with an image of soap below.

MATPAT: Leads to a video of MatPat next to a conspiracy board, holding the Book of Bill. He tells us we’re on our own.

BABBA: Plays an audio recording of Dipper singing BABBA. Not Disco Girl, a different song.

CRAZ: Leads to the Jem and the Holograms theme.

XYLER: See above.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA: Shows us two new journal pages from Ford and Mabel, studying the Cipher statue. They’re definitely worth the read, I teared up looking at them.

ANSWER: “Question”

QUESTION: “Answer”

SEASON ONE: “Season -1: Antigravity Falls”

SEASON TWO: “Season 1” …maybe scratch what I said about Season 3. Or don’t. Things are starting to damage my brain.

CURSED (got from @slimslamflimflam decoding the candle! Thanks!): Shows two pages talking about the dangers of drawing triangles, with the bottom of the second page showing several drawings of Bill and the words “HE IS COMING, RUN”

THE UNIVERSE: “Hologram”

RIZZ: “Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas.” This response is repeated if you type in SKIBIDI or FORTNITE.

BABY: Shows an ultrasound of a fetus Bill Cipher, captioned “Look at what’s growing inside you! See you in nine months, papa!”

JOURNAL 3: “The Journal for Me”

PACIFICA: Leads to a note from Pacifica calling Bill Cipher “ick” and telling us to follow her on social media under “Platinum Paz”

PLATINUM PAZ: Pulls up an image of Northwest Manor with the llama symbol overlaid and a “NW” logo beneath. There's also a short story beneath!

LOVE: Leads to an audiobook of “The Love Triangle”. Need to read later.

BLENDIN: “The time agent lost and presumed incompetent”. Uh…?

SCARY: Leads to another audiobook of a cheesy Goosebumps-esque horror novel written by Bill himself, apparently.

DIVORCE: Shows you the logo of the bar Bill went to after his fight with Ford… Billford bitter exes confirmed

ROBBIE: Leads to the cringiest messages ever. He’s such a failure I love him

CONSPIRACY: Leads to a video of a man losing his mind over the countdown counting up. I feel so seen. (I have been informed that his name is Charlie Day, he's an actor from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that one meme, he had a quote on the back of the Book of Bill, thanks to everyone who explained that to me, I'm sorry, I'm uncultured)

RAT: “Thurburt’s number?”

BLANCHIN: Leads to a YouTube video on how to blanch vegetables.

TJ ECKLEBURG: “Never mention that name again.”

NOTHING: “Something”

SOMETHING: “Nothing”

BURNSIDE: “Burned inside.” Well… at least we know what happened…

WADDLES: Leads to the pig placement network!

THERAPRISM: Pulls up a sign from the theraprism regarding an emergency situation. The code reads "THE OLD ONE".

SHAPE: Pulls up an article on Plato, triangles, and Ancient Greece. This article is presumably written by Bill.

LLIB and BILL: THIS leads to the Sesame Street video every time.

WEIRD: Shows a video of a frightened Weird Al panicking about being trapped in a computer. Sorry, man...

CLONE: Pulls up an image of Paper Jam Dipper, a warning about not getting him too close to liquids, and an option to print.

TRIANGLE: ")" or "Tri harder."

THEYLLSEE: "Is seeing believing?"

DEER TEETH: "For you, kid!"

LIFE: "Life: 72% complete. Now loading: death."

DEATH: "Life's goth cousin."

PINES: "A good family tree."

OWL TROWEL: A slab of hieroglyphs, translating to an ancient ad for an owl trowel.

SCALENE: "Life form not found." EUCLID has the same outcome.

WELL WELL WELL BEING: Some assorted notes from Bill's Theraprism file. These include his greatest love and fear, his art therapy notes, and notes on his phobias. Three clicks is required to read them all.

BOO BERRY: Offers a poem on the meaning of life! Wow! I feel so enlightened!

LOVE YA BRO: Shows us a doodle from Stan of one of his and Ford's Sea Grunks adventures, and another code on the back. It translates to "Kings of New Jersey." I've been told it lets you download the code as a font.

SORRY: Reveals the repaired Backupsmore photo, with a note from Fiddleford about his and Ford's growing friendship. Fiddauthor fans, we are eating well tonight!

HORROR: Pulls up an image and report on The Always Garden, which is essentially a cheap Italian restaurant hidden in the backrooms.

HOLOGRAM: "Universe."

NAITSUAF: Pulls up a page that looks like it would be from the Book of Bill, in which Bill tries to convince us to sell us his soul. Clicking "ARE YOU READY?" pulls up a contract where we can sell our soul to Bill (with an alarming amount of coded fine print. Will need to translate later). You can print this document out, back out, or sign it right there on the web. Hitting "SIGN" causes the words "PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU!" to appear, and the document to close. In other words, I no longer have a soul.

IMSTILLONYOURMIND: Plays a recording of the ocean, with Stan faintly talking in the background. Poor Ford ain't quite over the divorce yet...

HOTXOLOTL: Pulls up a "MOST WANTED" doc on the henchmaniacs.

SEVENEYES: Pulls up a faded polaroid of The Oracle with text on the back that reads "LEAVE HIM. Escape to dimension *blurred out*. It's against the rules but it's the only reality where you'll be safe from him." The code at the bottom (once again decoded by the powerhouse that is @slimslamflimflam) reads "Set a course for Dimension: R34LITY." Is another Cipher Hunt in the makes? Only time will tell, hehehe.

JUST FIT IN: Plays an old commercial with a few moments of speech in the glitches at the end.

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES: Shows a transcript from a therapy session at the Theraprism. Bill discusses his relationship with Ford and cuts off the session when someone brings up his parents.

NOT A PHASE: Shows a Google search for "black hair dye stained an entire bathroom."

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN: Instantly downloads a page of fleshy pink paper with the word "ENJOY" written on it!

SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA: Pulls up a few more pages about the human life cycle.

LIES: Pulls up an image of "The Game of Lies" board game, with a long stretch of text from (I assume) Bill, ending with "LIE UNTIL YOU ARE NOT LYING ANYMORE." Someone has some issues...

SAY BAAAA: Pulls up a neat little rhyme about being Bill Cipher's obedient flock of sheep. The code at the end translates to "Black Sheep."

ONE EYED KING: Plays a video of a hypnotist's spiral, with Bill proclaiming "YOU WANT TO PLEDGE YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER" in the background. There is also morse code that translates to "NAITSUAF", leading to a previous discovery- the soul contract.

TANTRUM: Pulls up a transcript of a spat between Bill and Time Baby.

TITANS BLOOD: "HOOT HOOT! Password please!"

CURSE WITTEBANE: Pulls up an image of a Bill Cipher ouija board.

FORDTRAMARINE: Pulls up several rejected files from Ford trying to convince us Fordtramarine exists.

SUCK IT MERLIN: Pulls up a tapestry of Bill riding a unicorn. The code at the top reads "DAY MARE VS NIGHTMARE."

HEY NERD: Plays a commercial advertising things such as a Bill Cipher calendar, the Scrubba-Bill, a severed hand, and the entire Cygnus-XIII galaxy. Half of the image can be found in the Book of Bill.

DESTRUCTION IS THE FORM OF CREATION: Pulls up a frantic page of notes from post-portal-shit Fiddleford. A sticky note at the bottom has a code that reads "Unreality."

RUBBERHOSE: Plays "The World is Small Ever After for All."

IRREGULAR: Shows us Bill's mugshot in color. The code below reads "No prison or attention span can hold him."

UNREALITY: Offers a guide by Bill on how to become immortal.

GUN: "Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both."

ABUELITA: Leads to a video on vacuuming the walls.

YES: "What's McGucket's favorite soda?"

NO: "Your loss..."

REPEATEDLY CLICKING STAN: This stuff deserves a section of its own, away from the OG Stan stuff. It takes you through several Ebay listings on various Stan-ish items until you get to a page written by Bill about Stan's secret shames. "Ex-wives" further confirms our theory on Stan and Eda's relationship, as well as revealing many other bits of lore. "Fears" is somewhat goofy to be honest. "Secret Shames" reveals that Stan is a fanfiction writer and that his mother is the only member of his family who truly loves him outside of Ford and the kids. "Unreported Crimes" is somewhat goofy as well. "Failed Products" basically confirms that Stan is that world's Alex. "Lowest Moments" is genuinely depressing, and "Darkest Thought". Well. I'm not spoiling it lol. And the bit on "How He Beat Me" causes Bill to get more and more frantic/angry the more you click it! Comedy GOLD!

DIPPY FRESH: Leads to a Reddit post of the Burger King Kids Club.

MEOW: Leads to a TikTok of a man playing the Gravity Falls theme on that cap keyboard.

HELP ME: Pulls up another video of Alex's axolotl and the tiny statue. Rip Bill ig :/

R34LITY: Pulls up several photos of the henchmaniacs in live-action, captioned "They found a new home."

JOURNAL 1: "The journal of fun."

JOURNAL 2: "The journal for you."

FBI: "Your webcam is on. We are watching."

BURNED INSIDE: Shows an image of a charred Oregon Parks badge and nametag on the ground.

HECTORING: Plays a silly little country song!

OROBOROUS: Pulls up two journal pages about Fiddleford buying Ford an axolotl to keep him company, and Bill subsequently telling Ford to get rid of him. There's also some code on the first page that reads "CHONKY BOY." Ford, you wonderful dork.