#reflection and self reflection is hard

[moonlitcoyote]

Snippet of my current marker WIP.

I’m working on casting out some Art Demons left over from Art School regarding my own art and medium choices.

Yes, I’m 14 years on since graduating, but man some things are hard to unpack and you don’t realize you’ve internalized the bad toxic thought process until it’s too late. Young artist, so desperately wanting to be successful- wanting to learn from people who KNEW things! Impressionable? Yep that was me.

Picking up markers again? Whooo boy, did that quickly make the Art Demons loud. I’m older and wiser now, so it’s time to mentally curb stomp the little buggers into dust. The healing part will be hard, but I’ll get there. Perhaps it’s just what I need to get out of burn out.

[star-struck09]

I wish I could tell you half the things I think about.

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[redmaycare]

okay pff yeag whatever dude(loses concept of self as time crumples itself in on me, reducing me to nothing but to an idea of a martyr and i am praised and loved but not my own)

og art from 2020 + alt sketch under the cut

might still do something with this concept later but for now. it is a weirdly cropped sketch

[rystiel]

stanford has beef with his 17 year old self (he just got over his 40 year grudge this year)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[rookisaknight]

Lrb relevant something about the way each brother is constantly reiterating their trauma in an attempt to subdue it.

Jacob, most direct and long-term recipient of their father's abuse, surrounds himself with people he's conditioned to become violent at the drop of a hat.

But its ok, because he controls the trigger this time.

Joseph, left abandoned by the splitting of their family, creates conditions for his new Family that are so untenable it's only a matter of time before any given member tries to leave him.

But it's ok, because being forced to constantly negotiate, gaslight, and threaten people into sticking with him makes him feel like he has power over his isolation this time.

John reliving his childhood torture every goddamn day, carving himself up when he can't carve up others and having his fear of damnation dangled over his head by his brother god. Constantly repenting, constantly atoning, never forgiven.

But it's ok, because he holds the knife this time. When you hold the knife, you get to say when it stops, and you get to extract sin from others rather than have it extracted from you.

[good-to-drive]

My favorite comments on How Do You Sleep

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

kinda happy that i'm not as chronically online as i used to be. i've been focusing on my studies, hobbies, etc and it makes me feel so much better. ofc i still have a long way to go but a phrase that is constantly running in my mind is one day or day one... like if i wanna be a certain kind of person and become better i should actually DO stuff that makes me better instead of thinking about that one day where i will magically get everything i want. that doesn't happen, i have to work for it. believing in myself is the first half which i have accomplished, the other half is working hard (with balance ofc). i doomscroll much less, and if i do i gain awareness of it very quickly and it doesn't surpass an hour. i don't turn on my laptop first thing after waking, i only turn it on when i i actually have some work or i want to listen to music. sometimes i relapse. but the point is that i've never tried more harder than i am rn and i am proud of myself for it. i am feeling seeing my progress. i intend to constantly heal and succeed and make mistakes and learn from them and never ever stop trying.

if i can do it you can too <3

[star-struck09]

I wish I could hold my younger self in my arms for even just a moment and tell her it will get better.

[krumpkin]

I like this quote , It's completely true and you'll not be getting anything from God until you put some effort in 🤔

[inchidentally]

"you're really onto him today aren't you" "ahhh my turn!"

our man Lando really says it's "his turn" to give Oscar a hard time when in this interview alone he a)interrupted Oscar all the time b)took issue with Oscar's answers or didn't listen to them c)accused Oscar of being a serial killer just bc of how he looks d)told Oscar to dump his gf bc she's pescatarian and e)Lando gives Oscar a hard time in every single joint interview bc Oscar just smiles and takes it

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

hi hi 👋🏽 I saw a recommendation for you on TikTok and ever since I have been binge reading your stuff and I am obsessed with you. I haven't read all of them yet but I think my fav is the foresaken! It's just sooooooo good. vampire draco and veela harry ughhh. and the feathers!!!! I think I'll come back to this fic over and over again. You created your own world and just borrowed the characters and I think that's lovely

Me? You found a recommendation for me on Tiktok?? Omg now I'm very curious. It must have been nice enough that you decided to check me out. Thank you!!

I am surprised and thrilled that you'd pick The Foresaken. That story is probably my favorite story of mine as well. Although it is hard to choose just one since I have over 90 of them. But the Foresaken hits me hard every time. Because the underlying message and theme is always relevant no matter the time. And why not do it with a smoking hot Vampire!Draco and his veela mate?

I actually created that story as a pinch hitter for a fest. They had reached out to me and asked me to fill in and I was so excited. I loved writing it, and you're right, I did create my own world. Which is why I think I love it so much.

Thank you! Thank you for reading my stories, thank you for stopping by here. Thank you!

The Foresaken

When Draco imagined his future as a child, he thought he'd be a Potion Master, get married and maybe have a kid. But the reality was he was a retired assassin, bitten by a Vampire and mated to a reckless, idiotic, foolish ex-Auror now turned Veela—Harry Potter.

[the-crooked-library]

I haven't seen anyone else sharing my feeling about this yet, but Ellen screams autistic to me, the way she acts, thinks and feels is weird for her society, even the kind of "indigo kid" she is, or the fact that she is called a changeling. And considering the great amount of comorbidity with epilepsy, sexual trauma, anxiety with autism she feels very similar to my experiences

oh that is precisely the way I personally read her - and the interesting thing is, I think so does Harding!

During their big argument scene, Ellen tells him outright that she knows he doesn't like her and demands to know the reason; and he specifically expresses that he hates the way he can tell that she doesn't actually believe in the societal conventions that define their lives. She follows the rules, of course she does; but she doesn't mean it - and for someone as strongly rooted in convention as Harding, that is enough to engender a deep-seated dislike. By the time of their confrontation, he has been inconvenienced, stressed, had his wife bitten by rats and infected, and had his masculinity threatened (it's also very clear he can tell Ellen is queer and he is distinctly jealous of Anna's affection for her on several occasions; her being in bed with Anna is just the last straw). At this point, his distaste for Ellen is near-vitriolic; but her neurodivergence is still at the very core of it. He knows that she is masking, and he cannot stand it.

The thing is, I don't even hate Harding per se. I think he is an incredibly well-written, even sympathetic character; he cares intensely about his family, and, by and large, he has good intentions - but Nosferatu is a story of how even the best intentions become warped by prejudice and bigotry on their way to action, and he is the most prominent example of that.

Autism hadn't even been properly defined yet and he was already hating. Ellen, my queen, I don't care if you have a diagnosis or not - you deal with the same shit we do, so you're one of us ily

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tsuki-in-faerun]

it's very funny to me that tumblr of all places has so much heat for the worst aspects of k tanaka's character beats considering that they started out as nearly a direct parody of the tumblr sjw. and as much as i love evan, i can't help but see the irony as well that brennan created a character who, in universe, is the object of a lot of misplaced adoration, specifically referencing kylo ren who had this website in a chokehold, only for evan to become one of tumblr's sad boys even when k has apparently addressed this and grown past it. there's lots of other things that k has not dealt with that we can talk about, but ALSO maybe it would be a good idea to turn a lens on evan considering that the archetype of someone resisting violent conditioning is something else that popped up in this episode that is extremely fucking pertinent irl right now. i've called it 'magical' nationalism before because the allegory is white supremacy and imperialism, right? if we had gotten the shit with the militia in iowa in mismag 1 it would be even more evident. even if evan himself is struggling with something that displays similarities with psychosis or autism, it's not a one-to-one parallel. there is crucial context being overlooked in favor of woobifying him and that's just... chef's kiss. gods bless.