#sadness….. I’ll get there one day!

[skelly-bean]

I got hit with the sudden need for a Fullmetal Alchemist and Baldur’s Gate 3 crossover

[the-bi-space-ace]

Okay I’m going to talk about cutting off Crosshair’s hand because while I know plenty of people see a lot of symbolism in it and think it was a good decision I have things to say about it.

I have CPTSD which has a lot of different symptoms. One of them is trembling or shaking. There’s a lot of complexities tied up in it but I’m not going to go into more detail because it’s not a fun thing to talk about.

What I liked about Crosshair’s trauma was that it impacted him not only mentally and emotionally but also physically. It’s very representative of what it’s actually like dealing with symptoms from something like PTSD and CPTSD (there are differences between these two that I won’t go into rn). I loved that we got to see a physical symptom of something psychological. It’s so rare that it’s handled well. Because yeah meditation and safety will help, certainly, but oftentimes it’s not the end all be all. I’m safe. I’m protected. I take care of my mental well being. But I still have symptoms that say the opposite. Because it’s not as simple as ‘no longer in the bad situation therefore the symptoms will stop’. I’ve made my peace that it’s lifelong and, honestly, Crosshair’s symptoms would be lifelong as well.

Cutting off his hand…

Here’s the thing.

The show really makes it seem like cutting off his hand is something he needed to move forward. He needed to be rid of the symptom because it was a physical reminder and it was holding him back from moving on. Cutting off the hand means no more shaking which means he’s healed. No more shaking hand=no more trauma. He can finally move on with his life.

And to that I say ouch.

There’s been plenty of times my symptoms are inconvenient to myself or others. Times when I wish I could just make it stop. Times when I’m terrified that it’s holding me back and I’m screwed up and that’s all I’ll ever be: broken. There are plenty of times I know people wish i could just knock it off and get over it and cut it out but that’s not how it works. Like I said. I’ve made peace with this thing that’ll be with me forever.

It was refreshing to see him try to adapt to dealing with it instead of ignoring it or trying to get rid of the part of him that was hurting. I loved that. It was such a freeing thing to see. Someone who will live with the hurt and the symptoms and it doesn’t make him any less. It just makes him have to do life a little different.

I hate that they cut off his hand. I hate that it wasn’t handled with any sort of nuance or delicacy. And I hate that this thing that made me so proud of him, so proud to share something with him, just got cut off for… what? Shock? To ‘fix’ him?

If we had gotten more time with the loss of his hand maybe I’d feel differently. Hell, I’d love to see how Crosshair adapts to losing his hand, see how he learns to accommodate. It would give him and Echo something to bond over and talk about, finding healing with each other. I think this could’ve been done well. I’d still be on the fence about it but I would’ve held my breath and saw how it played out.

I fully expect people to roll their eyes at me here. I expect that people will say that I just don’t get it or that this isn’t what they intended. I’m sure this isn’t what they intended. At least I hope it isn’t. But what they intended doesn’t change how insensitively this was handled after a whole season of him unpacking his hurt and trying to learn to adapt to it. No one reacted to it, not even Crosshair, and we got no unpacking of what happened. I’m not happy with this but it is what it is I guess.

[stuckinapril]

I’ve always loved medicine bc it’s the perfect intersection of science and humanity—the two things I value above all else in this world. Truly adored it since I was in the cradle. But now I’m thinking about how so much of my journey to neurosurgery will have to involve KILLING my feelings essentially bc how do you survive otherwise

[electric-plants]

slight hsr spoilers but—

they might as well have just impaled me on a stake

[ihopeucomehomesoon]

i won’t hold people to the same standards i have on myself in terms of friendship bc everyone shows they care in different ways

[apotelesmaa]

I don’t think tsukasa can stop rui even as a member of the disciplinary committee but I do think rui lets him *think* tsukasa has stopped him from doing something every so often so tsukasa doesn’t fall into a depression. It’s like when they reward working dogs who keep failing a task so they don’t get frustrated and quit.

[kaidabakugou]

the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

holy shit I didn't even notice. thank you guys for 1000 followers????? community tumblr has genuinely been my favorite fanspace I’ve ever been a part of, I really really love the sense of community (haha get it) that we all have here. evidently my senseless ramblings and shitposting about this silly little show have resonated with other people and that really means a lot to me so yeah. thank you all for being so awesome :)

[shima-draws]

I just finished Skypeia AGHHHFJHHHH it was so GOOD

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

[janiedean]

two episodes of nervous crying your brains out for longer than one hour in the span of three days were not in my bingo card for 2024 when I graduated ten years ago and I would like to frankly get the fuck over myself

[simcardiac-arrested]

i don’t think we’re ever getting out of the “we’re just friends” “oh yeah those characters are such good friends (sarcasm)” “they’re not friends they’re gay” etc etc hole. we’re never getting out of that hole

[bootyful-seventeen]

I am heavily contemplating on buying myself a dvd player soon and buying all the DVDs for a ton of movies and tv shows I grew up watching cuz I miss the magic of dvds

[bewitching-666]

🥲

[bookwyrminspiration]

if young Sophie had any social media I think it might’ve been tumblr, but what would she post? destiel? Sophie fanfic author au, she logs on to ao3 like “hey sorry this chapter has taken like 3 years, turns out I’m not actually human and I had to leave my whole life behind and I keep getting hunted down by these pyromaniacs and I’ve been hospitalized over a dozen times. but I saw the Spanish dub and just had to get something out, sorry it took so long, enjoy xx”

[sebcosmothetransguy]

(tw)

🎵🎶what do we do when we have depressive thoughts?🎶🎵

👏make art👏

🎵🎶what do we do when we have sh urges?🎶🎵

👏make art👏

🎵🎶what do we do when we wanna die?🎶🎵

👏make art👏

🎵🎶what do we do when we wanna self-sabotage?🎶🎵

👏make art👏

🎵🎶and what do we do when we are remembering our trauma?🎶🎵

👏make art👏