#sam's trauma deserves recognition

[dwerther]

lucifer touches sam's soul in s11 and then the fight continues like it's nothing. the brothers talk about dean's experience on the submarine. dean's eyes are wet, he is very much affected by the whole thing he witnessed there. but. what about sam? his trauma is disregarded again. we don't see it on screen how he's coping. we don't see the winchesters talk about it. shame.

[rewrite-this-story]

I know no one watches this show, and that's really unfortunate, but I have so many thoughts about Smash that I want to share, so you all get to either hear them or ignore this post entirely. I don't really care which.

First of all, Megan Hilty is an absolute queen!! I wish her name was more well known on Broadway because wow. Her voice is so powerful and I cry every time I hear her sing don't forget me. And I actually love ivy as a character with all my heart. She's beautiful and strong and so interesting. Yeah, she's flaws and human, but she tries so hard. I was so happy when she started getting the recognition she deserved in season 2. She makes mistakes, but then she gets back up every time. I also think she had incredible potential for directing and would have like to see that explored. She just deserved better in general.

I also don't like Karen at all. Not only is she kinda boring as a character, but she's not nearly as talented as everyone seems to think. Yeah, she's pretty and has a gorgeous voice, but she's really just a so-so actress and dancer. Her songs rarely make me feel anything like Ivy's do. At the end of season 1, I only cried during her version of don't forget me because I felt Ivy's frustration so deeply. Also, Karen is kinda rude and arrogant. Like, she has no clue how theater works but acts like everyone else is constantly out to get her just because they're asking her to do something differently. She can't remember her blocking and then complains that people don't like her. And she's so sensitive. No one can tease her or even comment anything that isn't 100% positive about her without her getting upset. Furthermore, Ivy's an interesting character who makes us really care about her because of how hard she tries and fails only to get back up again. Then, they throw in her past and emotional trauma and struggles with addiction. It's really hard not to care about and root for her. Why should I care about Karen? I liked hit list only because of Jimmy, Kyle, and even Anna. Karen didn't matter at all to me because she didn't really have to struggle or fight for anything. She was kinda just along for the ride.

Third thing, Derek sucks and is super problematic, but it was nice to see him stay to grow and improve. I would've liked to see where season 3 might've taken him. I do really like his relationship with Ivy because she calls him out on stuff, and he actually listens to her. It was dumb that he never saw how truly incredible an actress she was. They would have made a great team after she really became more sure of herself and he realized how awful he was. His obsession with Karen was really weird, but I like to imagine he probably got over it by the end of season 2.

Tom and Julia were interesting, but I was actually happy to see them split at the end of everything. She always kind of took advantage of him and it bothered me. He also deserved a real relationship story, but I'm not surprised he didn't get one since he was a gay character in 2012. His relationship with Kyle was kinda creepy and Kyle should've dated either Sam or that dancer we saw him flirting with earlier in the season. Either one of those would've been less uncomfortable. Him and Sam were also never really a good match. Plus, he did Sam kinda dirty in season 2. But yeah, he should've gotten a good relationship.

I do think Sam should've gotten the lead in hit list. He deserved it, Jimmy didn't. Jimmy did a good job, obviously, but he wasn't reliable and was really uncooperative. He could've just given feedback as a writer instead of being the lead actor. I get why they did it the way they did for the TV show, but realistically, it just didn't make sense.

Kyle's death was awful. I wish we saw more of him. I think his relationship and history with Jimmy was interesting, I think it should've been explorers more instead of Jimmy and Karen, who's relationship was kinda predictable and overused. It would've been nice to see him and Jimmy sing together sometime. I wish he sang a few more songs in general because he has a really cool sound.

Jimmy and Derek also could've had a really interesting relationship if it hadn't centered around Karen as much as it did. I think they could've really helped each other. Jimmy didn't take any bullshit and Derek didn't put up with any bullshit, so they could've kept each other in line. Derek also saw something in Jimmy that few people did and I think it would've been neat to see him become a bit of a mentor.

Finally, Derek and Tom had so much potential that was never explored. Their history and their future are so unclear, but I have so many questions.

So yeah, I really did enjoy the show. It's not the most incredible show ever made, but it was fun and interesting. It's a shame it only got two seasons. I kinda blame the marketing team since so few people know it ever existed.

[runawrites-blog]

Until The Break of Dawn Ch. 8 (Josh Washington x Reader)

Summary: Some time has passed since the events on Mount Blackwood and to celebrate your new book's success you meet with your friends, ending in you all talking about what has happened and how they have been doing. (Female Reader) Warnings: Talk of Mental Health, Grief, and Trauma. But everyone is in therapy to deal with everything that happened. Specific warnings will be posted in the notes of each chapter. No Y/N, Petnames (Honey) Author's Note: You can find the previous chapter here. Thank you for reading. ^^ Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49644949/chapters/125305903#workskin

“I see that you decided that happy endings are possible after all.”

You chuckled a little as Josh put your book down. He had insisted on reading your book once he had gotten his hands on a hardback copy of it, even though he had already proofread the final draft. And despite the fact that he’d been so busy lately that it had taken him almost four weeks to read through the book once more, he had been persistent about it. He was always so supportive of you, and you couldn’t help smiling at that fact.

“After everything we’ve been through and come out of alive, I think that Sam was right after all.” You concluded, looking at him. “If people have support and help, they can overcome everything.”

Josh smiled at that sentiment and took your hand. “I admit I had a hard time believing her at first, too. But now with a new therapist, new medication, and support from friends and family, I also think that she was onto something there.”

“Speaking of your medication--”

“Don’t start again.”

“No, I have to ask you once again about what the point of me organizing your meds is if you still won’t remember to take them?” You smirked at him, making Josh roll his eyes jokingly. “Not that I mind reminding you and rest assured that I have a good memory, but I organized them and even decorated the dispenser so beautifully and you still forget.”

Josh chuckled at the last part and leaned in to grin at you. “Putting my name on the dispenser in glittery rhine stones counts as decorating it beautifully?”

“I put every little rhinestone on there individually, so yes it does.” You laughed and leaned in closer to him. “I even used your favorite color.”

“Thank you, Honey.” Josh said earnestly and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “You know I’m just joking, right? I really appreciate the little things you do for me.”

“Of course, I know that you’re just joking.” You smiled back, taking his hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. “Trust me, I know that you appreciate me. And I really appreciate all you do for me, too.”

Josh smiled at that and leaned in to kiss you, pulling you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck, closing your eyes as you sighed against his lips. His arms snaked around your waist and pulled you into his lap, making you gasp a little in surprise. When you parted, he was smiling at you, and you returned that smile.

“Now I wish our friends weren’t coming over, so we could get some more time alone.”

“I think we can postpone whatever you had in mind in favor of celebrating your success.” Josh chuckled at your words before pressing a kiss to your temple. “They’re coming over to celebrate your book getting onto the New York Times Bestseller List.”

You ducked your head away from him, bashfully averting your eyes, never one to like boasting about yourself. But Josh wasn’t having it and instead grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him.

“None of that, Honey. You worked so hard for this. You deserve the recognition.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You leaned in to kiss him but before you could the doorbell rang, and you excused yourself to open it. When you did your friends were all there, Ashley, Chris, and Jess blowing party horns while Mike, Matt, and Emily held balloons. Sam embraced you, squeezing you tightly before pulling back and smiling at you.

“Congrats on making it on the Bestseller List!”

“Thank you.” You said with a bright smile, looking at all your other friends. “And thank you all for the lovely surprise.”

Mike laughed and nodded at Jess. “The party horns were Jessica’s idea.”

“And the balloons were Matt’s idea.” Emily piped up with a grin. “Can we come inside? I think it’s starting to rain.”

“Of course.”

With them there you all spend a lovely evening, eating dinner and eventually gathering under the roof of your porch to simply look out into the rain and talk. Jessica’s eyes drifted across the treeline close to your somewhat secluded little house before she looked at you with a little chuckle.

“After everything, you two still live close to the woods.”

“I mean, we know that we’re safe here.” Josh answered, placing a hand on the small of your back. “I do admit that it gets a little scary sometimes but mostly it’s just really peaceful.”

“We even sleep with the window open at times.”

“Seriously? I can hardly manage to sleep without locking the door to our bedroom.” Matt mumbled, looking over at Emily. “But it’s getting better. Since Em and I moved in together, I’ve been doing a lot better.”

“That’s really good to hear.” You said earnestly, offering him a small smile. “I guess, to me, it’s just peaceful to hear the wildlife out and about at night because I know that there’d actually be danger if it went quiet outside.”

“That’s true.” Sam piped up from beside you. “I have actually started going on walks in the woods again. I used to love it but after that night I couldn’t do it for a long time.”

“I’m glad you managed to do that.” Jess smiled a little before sighing. “Now I feel dumb for wanting to announce to you that I managed to sleep with the window cracked open last night. It seems a bit silly now.”

You quickly shook your head. “Not at all, Jess. Everyone heals at their own pace and even something small is a step forward. I’m glad you’re healing.”

“Thanks.” Jess smiled and leaned into Mike. “Now, let’s talk about something more cheerful. You made it onto the New York Times Bestseller List. That’s so amazing. You’re a real author now!”

Josh pulled you close to his side, grinning widely. “I am so proud of my girlfriend. I think we should toast to her.”

“Good idea.” Matt said and held up his glass. “To our famous author friend.”

“Thank you all but I’m not famous. I published one book.”

“And they asked you to write another one.” Josh smirked, raising his glass once before bringing it to his lips. “You’re amazing.”

“So are you.” You smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheeks. “You’ll be a famous director one day.”

“You could write his screenplays.” Chris grinned and looked at the two of you. “I mean, he wants to direct horror movies and you write horror-themed books.”

“A match made in heaven.” Ashley chuckled, looking at you with an interested look. “What is your next book about?”

“Wendigos.”

Josh snorted at that and waved you off. “I love you with all my heart, but I won’t read that. I’m so sorry.”

“Me, neither.” Jess said and cuddled up to Mike. “At least not without Mike there to protect me.”

“I’ll give it a read.” Chris chuckled and shrugged. “Let’s see if you captured their essence.”

Sam crossed her arms with a smirk. “I’ll read it, too. But I must ask, why is it about Wendigos?”

“I think I just need to get all my feelings about what happened to us out on paper and by putting them onto another character I can distance myself from it a bit.” You explained, swirling your drink in your glass. “Does that make sense?”

Emily shrugged at your words. “As much sense as anything else going on in our lives, really.”

“Will your new book have a happy ending?”

You nodded at Matt’s question. “I think so. I’ve come to believe in happy endings.”

“How come?”

“Because now I know that no matter what happens, with help and friends by your side, you can still have a happy ending. It may not be all that conventional, it may not be happy all the time and there may be pain, but hope is never completely lost.”

“What a nice thought.” Josh mumbled, leaning closer to you and kissing your cheek. “I think I’m starting to also believe in happy endings.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Chris smiled before he leaned in. “I heard you started seeing a new therapist, too. Is he better than Doctor Hill?”

“Yes.” Josh nodded as you embraced his arm, holding onto it and stroking it comfortingly. “Doctor Hill wasn’t bad, either. I was simply misdiagnosed, therefore on the wrong medications, and on top of that, I didn’t get along with Doctor Hill.”

Sam nodded along to his words. “Are you properly medicated now? I mean, do you feel like you are? Do you feel better?”

“I do. I feel much happier and more stable.” Josh said and when your grip on his arm tightened, he turned to you, noting your worried look. “Honey, trust me, I am doing much better. I may have bad days; I am still grieving, and things aren’t perfect but I’m doing better. Thank you for being with me throughout it all.”

“I would never leave your side.” You promised, smiling in relief as you saw Josh meeting your eyes and you wrapped your arms around his middle. “You were there for me during the worst times of my life, and I will be there for you when things get hard. I love you.”

“And I love you.”

[best-supermassive-character]

Sam Giddings

1. best girl

2. She’s gorgeous and she’s cool and she's brave and-

Anthony Clarke

1. For one, he's one of the first prologue characters who doesn't die immediately ... Laura and Max merely followed in his footsteps, so he deserves some recognition for that. And his grief and trauma and love and turmoil over his family, the fire, and such is downright emotional. Whether you agree with the ending or not, Little Hope wouldn't exist if Anthony didn't ; unlike many of the other games, he's truly the sole main character in this one, where his role couldn't be filled by anyone else and he can't be removed from scenes. Which is cool! Especially with how well it works ... I don't know, I'm not making the best argument but Anthony Clarke is such an amazing character who made Little Hope as emotional as it was. Also props to the fact that despite his mental illness and grief, the game never demonizes him ; instead the game actively sympathizes with him and wants him to heal! Oh, and last but most important point : but Anthony is clearly The Curator's little meow meow. If that's not enough reason to vote him then I don't know what is. He's Death's favorite little creature!

[wellofdean]

Carlos doesn’t resemble dean in the slightest, they’re practically complete opposites. John is the narrative mirror to dean if there was one, with his “I’m not a monster” thing, and with how Danneel and Jackles have unfortunately made a point to say that supernatural was a love story between two brothers at its core and john and Mary are an extension of that. In the Pilot it’s suggested that Carlos uses his sexuality to sabotage Mary’s relationships because he has a crush on her so I definitely think that their plan was to introduce a queer character just to but him in a het love triangle, in recognition of Cas’s popularity in the fandom. And it’s goofy to think Bolo ties are Deans “thing” when he wore one in like one episode and Carlos is Latino. If they wanted him to resemble dean they would be dressing him in flannel and leather… and one last thing. Do you not see the irony in you claiming supernatural is about how suffocating and damaging toxic masculinity is, and immediately following that post with a gifset that suggests Dean being at peace is a bad thing because he thrives on trauma and misery? I hated the finale too but that’s just hypocritical

John is certainly A narrative mirror for Dean, but so is Mary, Carlos, Millie... I wrote briefly about what I think is going on in this narrative here. I'm not interested in arguing about this, because it is obvious to me, and I am armed with a university degree in understanding narrative and a longtime obsession with the writings of Carl Jung, so I am pretty confident about what I see happening in it. You will not sway me, and I do not actually care at all, my anonymous friend who is apparently ashamed to own their own opinions publicly, whether or not you agree, and I feel no compulsion to convince you.

I have heard what the creative team behind TW have said, and you and I interpret those things very differently. Additionally, the idea that heart of Supernatural is the relationship between the brothers is one I really don't think is supported by the text especially not by the end of the show. Maybe it started that way, but it didn't end that way. I think the heart of Supernatural is Dean, and like Cas, we care about everyone and everything else in it because Dean does. I am not feeling any kind of way about Sam. His ending was lame, and his party city wig was stupid. I hate that we never see his wife, and he doesn't get what he wanted, but I am not still thinking about his fate AT ALL. If his story was done, it would be just fine with me. Dean is another story. Dean's story is not done, and Dean is the one that so many people can't let go, and that's because his story cannot end the way it did -- that is a broken narrative.

Again, I don't care if you agree or not.

I'm also not saying Bolo ties are Dean's thing. I am saying that Carlos literally wears the EXACT SAME bolo tie that Dean wore. Not just A bolo tie, THE bolo tie. Like, the same exact same one that Dean wore when he made Cas dress up like a cowboy in Tombstone. Little things like that are conscious choices on a TV show where every little thing on camera was placed there on purpose. Finally, there are lots of other things about Carlos that are very like Dean, in fact, when one looks beyond fashion.

Finally, there is no hypocrisy at all in recognising that the Dean we all know and love on Supernatural DOES thrive on trauma. He swims in a soup of it for every moment that we have known him. Trauma is the air he breathes. He is deeply, deeply traumatised for every moment of his existence. That isn't where I want him at all, I want him HEALED, but it is where is IS. He dies traumatically and then goes to a heaven where he just does more driving. I'm sorry, but that is insufficient peace for Dean. He deserves something much richer, deeper and more compelling, and he deserves to be loved, and to be transformed by letting himself love. But, Dean was not given any room or chance to make any kind of peace with his trauma, or to transform in any way. He just dies violently like he was fated to do, and then gets sent drive boring heaven, trapped in eternal stasis. If that is what you wanted for Dean, that's cool I guess, but I think it's fucking horrific, and I do not agree.

Again, I feel no need to convince you. I am just stating my opinions here, because THIS IS MY BLOG.

Finally, stop messaging me on anon. What the hell is wrong with just owning your fucking opinions? I am answering you in a civilised, perfectly normal and friendly way. What are you afraid of?

[musette22]

It’s good that Sam is Cap but I need to get one thing off my chest. The Russos claimed Bucky was unfit to carry the Captain America mantle because of his trauma, because he’s 'damaged and broken', same thing is being regurgitated by MCU stans. This seems to me like a very ableist, demeaning reasoning. I don’t know, it sounds like they think of Bucky as a lesser, undeserving man just because he has mental issues due to the horrors that were forcefully inflicted upon him as if it was his fault. It seems toxic. What’s more they act like Sam doesn’t have PTSD or that his mental issues don’t make him unfit like Bucky’s do.

Oh yeah no, you're absolutely right! I don't think Bucky should have been Captain America, but not because he wasn't worthy or mentally unfit to carry the mantle. That's not just toxic, but it's also ableist bullshit and anyone who claims that should go wash their mouth immediately.

I personally think Bucky never wanted to fight in the first place, and he'd hate the responsibility and public scrutiny that would come with being Captain America, after everything he'd been through. You're also spot on about Sam, by the way. They didn't do him justice either by pretending he doesn't have PTSD, and the way they had him handle Bucky's feelings of guilt and trauma was such an insult to who Sam truly is. I'm excited for Sam to be Cap and for him to have his solo movie and the attention/recognition he deserves, but I can't deny that I'm apprehensive about what they're going to do to his characterisation :/

[samspenandsword]

Hi Sam!!! Congrats on 300 followers; it’s so deserved! Figured I would send myself in for a ship request cause I’m curious about what you would say. For Star Wars related things; my favorite planet is Naboo, I’ve just always been obsessed with it (and Padme was my favorite character as a kid.) my favorite of the movies is Empire Strikes Back, but Revenge of the Sith is a close second. For real life stuff; I’m an introverted extravert: I’m very shy and in my own shell but wish I could get out more. Love reading and playing video games, also love to cook in my free time. In partners, trust and loyalty are super important to me but I also love a good sense of humour

Iris!! Thank you so much for celebrating with me, it really means a lot. I hope February has been treating you well!

Sam's Pen and Sword 300 Follower Celebration (Closed)

Warnings: Slightly suggestive and ever-so-slight bits of horniness, because I can't resist. (Minors gtfo)

Iris' Follower Celebration Request

Ship request 👄

Okay my friend, I thought about for a good while, but eventually I couldn't shake the idea of you and Commander Cody as a couple. The two things you mentioned as being most important in a relationship and partner? Trust and loyalty. Cody also values both those things more than nearly anything. Not to mention his sense of humor, which is the oddest combination of blatant dad jokes and dry wit. I think what is perfect about Cody as a partner for you is his recognition of balance. He's the type of partner who is willing and able to encourage you to come out and try new things. To put yourself out there. To focus more on yourself and him rather than the improbable awkward social situations you'd find yourself in. But he'll also know that encouragement and pushing you out of your comfort zone are not the same thing. He'll be incredibly conscious not to push you too far, and soon becomes able to recognize when you're more in the mood for a night in rather than dinner at a restaurant followed by a bar. And he's the same way! There are days where he'd love to go to brunch with you! Says "yes please" to mimosas and (space) English muffins and fancy frittatas. And there are also days where he just wants to come home. Be in his own space. Maybe curl under a blanket with you as you two watch a holoseries (that inevitably devolves into making out bc who would resist Cody). I don't see Cody becoming a huge gamer, but I see him becoming invested in both the simplest, most classic (think Space Mario Kart) games and the ones with mindblowing worldbuilding (think Skyrim and Mass Effect). And though I'm not sure the two of you would have the same taste in books, you love the afternoons where Cody whisks you away to your favorite bookshop with a cafe next door, and the two of you can spend hours browsing around and he absolutely spoils you (Victory!AU where Bail Organa becomes Chancellor and the clones finally get citizenship and rights and pay as well as monetary compensation for three years of service and trauma; Palpatine died in a mysterious accident that Fox swears he has no knowledge of).

Your lips were puckered with consideration, staring down at the pair of books in your hands. In one — a soft, smutty sapphic romance, full of yearning and shitty jokes and soft flirting and bad decisions. In the other — a classic. A book you already had on your shelf three times over, each different editions with introductions or notes or illustrations or covers. You did not need another. ... But it was one of your favorites, so you did need another. It came with a special box and had one of those fancy ribbon bookmarks and gold foil-rimmed pages and you wanted it! "Struggling?" "Fuck off." Ahh, yes. Your love language. Affection sprinkled between the swear words and sarcasm. Cody chuckled, and you settled into his touch as he came behind you, seaming his chest to your back and snaking a hand around your waist. His palm settled flush to your middle, big and strong, with just enough pressure to make your stomach explode with flutters. He knew what he was doing too, asshole, your thoughts said as he kissed the back of your head, not quite chastely enough for public. "Need help deciding?" You hesitated, then grumbled, "yes." Cody chuckled once more, hand smoothing across your middle as he stepped to be beside you. He never let go of you, squeezing your waist lightly. "Tell me about that one." You told him about the new book, the sapphic romance. Describing it to him and how it sounded really soft and appealing. Cody hummed lightly at the appropriate moments, hand occasionally smoothing down from your waist to your hip, to squeeze idly, then stroke back up again. You tried your best not to squirm. This long into your relationship, you reasoned that you shouldn't still be reacting to Cody's touch like a horny teenager or repressed noble lord. But it was Cody. And you simply could not get enough of him. And he definitely knew what he was doing. You managed to finish telling him about the book, and he would've looked thoughtful if not for the casual, flippant humor in his eyes. "Get both." "Cody!" He smiled a little, amused. You always reacted that way. "Fine. You buy one, I'll buy the other, and you can pretend to be surprised when I present it to you after dinner tonight." Your lip twitched. How many times had he pulled that now? You'd lost count. But regardless, you never failed to agree to it. Because you knew how much Cody loved to spoil you. Now that he had the means to do so, of course. Cody was just unfailingly generous and loved to take care of you. And it never failed to warm you inside. So that night found the both of you home, both of your new books tucked onto the shelf in the bedroom along with his own picks. None of them got read that night, the both of you busy with each other instead.

[red-hood-vigilante]

There was that part of the episode with sonny's home for boys where Sam says something about sonny (I can't remember what it was exactly) and dean snaps back that sonny has more than paid for his mistakes and doesn't deserve to be judged (or something along those lines, I don't remember word for word since I skipped most of that episode)

And I was speechless when I heard that, I was like if he can say that about a man he lived with for a couple months as a teenager, why can't he say that about his own brother?

Like you said previously sam is punished just for having demon blood and being lucifers vessel when he had absolutely no choice in the matter, and he has more than paid for any shortcomings he thinks he has by throwing himself into hell for almost 200 years (I think?) to save a world that seemed to have turned its back on him

I can't think of a single other character in spn that could have survived that long in a cage in hell with lucifer and come out of that like Sam did. Not one. I never really saw him get any recognition for such a massive sacrifice. I'm not suggesting they made a huge deal about it but some acknowledgement of what he did would have been nice to see

He more than deserved a break and I hate that he never got one

you're so right about sonny, i didn't remember that until now 😭 dean definitely cherry picks what about a person is deemed good and worthy of saving. dean loves conditionally for sure, not only with sam but with castiel as well.

yes! there is rarely any acknowledgement of sam saving the world and suffering so much for it (granted the writers were again incapable of actually dealing with that trauma so it was repeatedly conveniently shoved aside) like dean spent 40 years in hell and a lot of s4 was about that, and it was brought up a lot what he did and how it affected him, which was great! expand on the event and how the character felt about it and how it affects them today! but then the same happens to a different character and then it's swiped under the rug i guess

[idy-ll-ique]

Breaking The Rules.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader (sort of Winter Soldier x F!Reader too)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: like,,, lots of murder

Requested: nope

Summary: The Winter Soldier attacks the building where Y/N works and comes face-to-face with her. Surprising her and himself, he lets her go, breaking the rules, not following his orders. Y/N is so thankful about his mercy that she is now the world's biggest Bucky Barnes stan. What happens when their paths cross again 7 years later?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so I don't really know if I've done a good job writing this but I tried my best so,,, enjoy!

---

The Asset is not thinking.

The Asset is not made to think.

Casually stroking his gun as he walked into the plain building, he watched the people inside the room pause for a minute. Then the screaming began. He simply stood there, the scene unfolding in front of him as people ran; inside rooms, out the building as they jumped out of windows to avoid him. He let them.

Finally having had enough because HYDRA demands some kills, Soldat, he cocked his gun and started out by fighting the security guards that had an ounce of bravery in them as they approached him with their own guns. He killed them easily. Then he moved further into the building, ending the lives of anyone who tried to get in his way.

What was his purpose of doing this? There was none. He was programmed to kill, and the program had no specific targets. No targets, only kill. He walked up the stairs of the building as more people, who had not been dead, escaped. Then he ended up on the floor where she was.

Y/N was going through a stack of papers, wearing headphones, when she heard a scream. It had been so sudden and loud that she startled badly, the papers flying from her hands as she turned around, ready to give the person a piece of her mind only to be met with the prettiest blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. The breath left her lungs and fear overtook her.

The person in front of her; she had heard of him. They called him The Winter Soldier. He was covered in black leather, his silver arm shining in the sunlight that entered through the window on her right. She quickly glanced at it; she was 10 stories above ground. He had a black mask on (more like a muzzle, she thought) and a peculiar look on his face.

She looked around the room, her eyes filling with tears when she saw the bodies of her coworkers, the friends she had made at the workplace, littered on the floor. Damn you, stupid headphones. She discarded them. He had killed them all. The Winter Soldier didn't really have a say in what he did, she told herself, he had been programmed to act like that.

Nothing but a murder toy for HYDRA.

And she hated them for that.

"Don't cry." She looked back at the Soldat, her eyes wide in confusion. Huh? Why would he say that? She blinked away the tears and started raising a hand to wipe them off when he suddenly raised his gun. Her hand paused mid-air and she held her breath, waiting for him to finally put her out of her misery as her eyes unconsciously watered once more.

When he saw her hand, though, her palm was facing him. Ready to rub off the tears, he noticed, and he lowered the gun. "Don't cry," he repeated and Y/N, as absurd as she found the situation to be, did as he ordered. She wiped the tears off and rubbed her hands on the jeans she was wearing, staring at the man. He stared back at her.

When he first entered the floor, he had done what he had been told, until there was no one alive in the room. Or so he thought, until his eyes landed on Y/N. She was wearing some sort of a device over her head, completely oblivious to what was going on. Was she deaf? Did she not hear the gunshots?

As he approached her cautiously, someone screamed behind him. And he saw how the papers flew out of her hand she whirled around, her big, doe eyes blinking at him until recognition sparked in them. Then she cowered. For some reason, as he looked at her, he couldn't bring himself to harm her. She looked… adorable, almost. So he did what he did best.

Stared.

Her eyes were darting around the place, and they watered when they landed on the bodies on the floor. He gulped quietly under his mask, something inside him stirring uncomfortably as he watched her cry. And suddenly, he couldn't help himself. "Don't cry," he blurted out and she looked back at him. He stared. She blinked rapidly and started raising her hand.

Thinking she would raise a hand on him, he immediately held up his gun as a warning but realized that she was simply drying her tears, new ones in her eyes as she looked at the gun. And he suddenly felt very apologetic. "Don't cry," he repeated and allowed her to wipe her tears. But he was surprised to hear her speak.

"Please don't hurt me."

She was shaking, arms going around herself, but she wasn't crying. At least she was not crying. He didn't reply, only stared as a foreign, almost forgotten word came to mind. Pretty. She was pretty. Soldat or not, how could he bring himself to harm a pretty thing like her? He raised his gun again when he remembered his orders; kill, do not show mercy.

The pretty woman started crying again, this time her tears were much more prominent. "Please, please don't do it, please… I have done nothing to you, don't do it…" she pleaded, fingers intertwined as if in prayer. Kill her. But he ignored the order and lowered his gun again.

"Pretty," he stated and her brows furrowed. Y/N blinked at him, pretty? Did she hear that right? He called her pretty, right? "Pardon?" she blurted out and his head tilted to the side. "Go." His voice sounded strained and for a moment, Y/N wanted to embrace him, to comfort him but hurriedly dismissing the thoughts, she turned on her heels and ran out the building.

The Asset stared at her as she ran.

He had not been programmed to think.

Then why had he?

---

"Guys, I'm telling you, it was so surreal—"

"Oh my God, Y/N, will you stop—"

Steve, Sam and Bucky glanced at the group of ladies that ended up at the bar next to them. A few years had passed since the incident between Bucky and Y/N took place and he was back to normal. No longer the Winter Soldier; he was an ally of the Avengers now. Steve glanced at his friends, lips curling into an amused smile.

"What do you think they're talking about?" he whispered and Sam snickered quietly. "Why don't we listen?" Bucky simply shook his head, but was also kind of intrigued at this surreal experience that Y/N talked about. Y/N… that name sounded kind of familiar to him, but maybe it was a common one, what did he know?

"He called me pretty!"

"We know he's hot, Y/N, but seriously, the Winter Soldier did not call you pretty."

The three men froze and their eyes darted amongst each other. "He did," Y/N whined, "I'm telling you!" Bucky almost dropped his glass but managed to hold on, his jaw dropped. Thankfully the ladies were not aware of the men shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation. "Wait wait wait, what is this about you and the Winter Soldier? I've not heard that story."

"Ugh, Sam, you've done it now!"

Steve and Bucky glanced at Sam with smirks and he rolled his eyes. "Samantha," he snarked but the super soldiers only shrugged in reply. "Okay okay, this was like… 7 years ago. I was in my office, working, when our building was attacked. By him." And Bucky, try as he might, couldn't remember shit.

"Dude, I was wearing headphones so damn strong that I didn't hear literal gunshots echoing around the room, like what?"

"Seriously, Y/N? You know we won't say anything if you tell us you're lying."

"But I'm not lying," Y/N insisted, "I heard a scream and finally took off the headphones. When I turned to see who had screamed, he was literally standing in front of me." Hazy memories slowly flashed in his mind; a plain building, those red-black headphones and the fluttering of papers. He gulped his drink down.

"And didn't kill you like he had been trained to? I still think you're lying. Or maybe you just have severe trauma and you made up a story of the handsome Bucky Barnes calling you pretty." Bucky nearly laughed when Y/N's face turned red but then guilt started weighing heavy in his stomach. He had put her in danger…

"I don't have trauma, don't joke about stuff like that! Anyway, I was like, scared shitless. I thought I was gonna die, I started crying but he told me, don't cry. Like huh?" Bucky didn't remember that part. Steve and Sam were now definitely drawn to the story, their eyes set on their glasses as they listened.

"I didn't want to anger him so I wiped my tears but he raised that goddamn gun again and I started crying again. He repeated his words and I started pleading, as we've all seen in action movies." Snorts drifted between them. "Please don't hurt me, let me go…" Y/N mimicked but Bucky's heart rate suddenly spiked. The same voice, the same tone…

He had had a nightmare the previous night.

She was the one he heard.

"Okay, so after I'm done begging, you know what he fucking says? Out of all things, he literally called me pretty. Like just— just that one word came out of his mouth. I'm literally still so confused," she spoke animatedly and the friend who had not heard the story before gasped. "Seriously? No way," she scoffed.

"Yes way!" Y/N got impatient. Why did no one ever believe her? She got that it was an outlandish story, but it was real! Y/N wished the Soldat was here; not to kill, of course, merely to confirm the fact that he had, indeed, called her pretty. But that man was long gone, replaced by someone who was stable-but-not-so-stable, undoubtedly handsome and with a new metal arm. This Bucky was much better than the dangerous Soldat.

"Then he told me to go. He sounded so fucking soft, you know? I have so much respect for Bucky Barnes, I mean, look at him. He went through so much he didn't deserve, and sometimes I just wanna—" She made a choking gesture, "—everyone who hurt him." Her friends chuckled but he could tell she wasn't lying. She really did care for him.

After all he put her through…

"I'm serious! Look at him! He looks like a lost puppy. How can you not care about him?" Y/N whined and her friends shook their heads. "You just have a big crush on the man, accept it." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve and Sam smirked at him. He nudged them both, keeping silent. "You know what? I wish he was here right now. He probably doesn't even remember but if he did—"

"I remember it, doll, only vaguely…"

Y/N's group froze as their gazes followed the voice, landing on the three Avengers beside them. Her friends were mortified, Y/N even more so. Did he hear the story? "D-Did you… hear…" she stammered and Bucky pursed his lips. "I'm sorry." The apology fell out before he could stop himself and Y/N, ever the Bucky-apologist, instantly shook her head.

"It was not your fault. HYDRA did that to you. You didn't deserve any of it, mark my words." She sounded like Steve, he noticed and smiled gently. After all he put her through… she still stood by his side. "Thank you, doll, that really means a lot," he said sincerely and Y/N grinned at him. "You're welcome!" And before she could turn to her friends, he spoke up again.

"I meant what I said."

"Hm?" She looked at him, head tilted in confusion. "When I called you pretty, I meant it. You are pretty, very much so." She went red under his intense gaze and shied away, forcing Steve, Sam and her friends to burst into boisterous laughter. "Th-Thanks," she mumbled and Bucky craved her more.

"Join me for a drink?" he questioned and her eyes widened. He mistook it for fear and immediately lowered his head. "Sorry, I overstepped—" He froze when she took his metal hand, holding it gently, looking at him with the same eyes he had thought to be adorable 7 years ago. "Of course I'll join you." A genuine smile bloomed on his face and without a care in the world, he led her away from her friends.

She was going to be his.

Forever and always.

The only woman caring and wonderful enough to accept him, broken and everything.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading! Love you all 🖤

[ayamturd]

end│dreamwastaken

summary: dream was once your everything that you would do anything for; what happens when you finally confront the reality of his manipulation and sadistic destruction?

prompt: “we’re both at fault here, and now we both have to pay the price.” 

warnings: descriptive manipulation, a single curse word, angst

pairing: in-game c!dream

a/n: this is my entry for @sleepysoupi​‘s 1.8k event! it goes without saying how late i am considering she’s currently working on her 2.0k event, but still a huge congratulatory to her amazing success and obvious, well deserved recognition <33 we love soupi in this household, nothing less of the fact *^*

also i know the prison doesn’t work exactly like how i wrote it, but let’s pretend for the sake of this fic

wc: (1.6k) - m.list

“Don’t do this, y/n.”

The air was sticky and heavy. As the lava bubbled behind you, it felt as if the heat could reach out and smother you entirely; the subtle warmth that felt insufferably suffocating in the tight space was a large contrast to the dark, opaque walls. 

Although you stood in front of him by your own desire, habits quickly fell to place as he stood proudly above you. Chin raised, Dream’s shoulders were relaxed while he spoke to you. His words were firm, and with clenched fists, you swallowed harshly from his mocking tone. 

You could practically hear his condescending grin without looking in how belittling he addressed you, and you hated how familiar the speech was. 

“After all I’ve done for you, and you want to throw it all away?”

Despite all attempts, you unconsciously bowed your head down. Whether in unjustified guilt or the internal rage from his lies, you couldn’t say yourself. He noticed nonetheless, and played into your vulnerability further. 

He was the one defenseless in this scenario, yet he held all the power in the small cage between the two of you. 

“We made promises! ‘Till the very end, right?!” He began to raise his voice and feigned some form of heartbreak, taking a step dangerously closer to you while you stood there in frozen fear.

Staring harshly down at your feet, the weight of gravity pulled at your tears as they trickled down sparsely. This was different than when you originally confronted him mere hours ago. Here, you were alone and with no backing, no one to reassure you that you did the right thing. That he was a monster that had you blinded for so long.

That you were justified for betraying Dream. 

“Don’t play stupid with me now. You can’t act like I did this all alone. That I’m not the only sick fuck in the room who enjoys the-”

“Stop it,” you whispered with closed eyes. While your voice was small, it echoed so loudly and threw Dream off guard. He shook his head and with a dark chuckle, sneered disparagingly. 

“You really th-”

Your eyes opened as you unexpectedly interrupted him.

“No. For once in my life, I mean it. Shut your egotistical mouth for one goddamn second.”

Everything was in a frozen stand still as you snapped. 

Course tears ran steadily down your cheeks, yet your eyes held more strength than Dream could had ever perceived in that moment. It had been so long since you had lost your voice. Lost your confidence, your fire that drew him in in the first place. It had been so long since you felt like yourself again, the person you once were before he teared you down completely to his mercy. 

You swallowed sternly in exposed anxiety; when was the last time you saw his face like this? Saw his face at all, at that. 

The molten lava radiated the room, it being the main source of light in contrast to the faint glow of the lanterns built into the walls. When you had originally requested to see him one final time before he was officially locked away for good, you had no idea what you expected to see. You didn’t see anything, actually, since you couldn’t bring yourself to try and meet his eye line the entire time. 

Until now. 

As the magma shaded the room in a warm shine, his dull eyes gleamed a faded hue of ash green. His dirty blond hair was visible without his signature hoodie, his previous clothes stripped away and replaced with an attired uniform instead. He hid behind a mask for so long, it was surreal to see him as something so mundane and human.

Your mouth felt so dry from seeing him again. He almost looked like when you first laid eyes on him, that beautiful day when you thought you had fallen in love. How nice the sun felt, and how crisp the wind blew. The summer day was fresh and the sweet smell of honey pervaded the air. To think it was by mere chance he approached you in the white flower field, hidden in the depths of the forest with a charming smile and gentle hand.

How cruel reality liked to play with you and give you false hope that such love could truly exist. 

The memory brought a smoldering rage that made your heart race in return. Back straight, you dared a step towards him with a quiet, yet firm declaration. 

“I’m done making excuses for your lies. For your actions, for the hurt you cause, for you.”

Dream could barely register your words as you continued in growing fury. It was like the floodgates were open and you felt free to speak your truth. 

You were riding this new found wave and would hold nothing back anymore. 

“I let you get away with so much because I truly believed that I loved you. That my love could fix you, or change what you are.”

You stepped forward again, your finger shakily pointed at him. His mouth opened to respond but you spoke before he could try. You weren’t going to give him anything, you thought, he doesn’t deserve your silence.

“I went against everything I believed!” you suddenly yelled, “everything I stood for, everything I thought because of you!”

Your vision was a blur as your raw emotions came loose. You screamed from the top of your lungs to the point where your voice cracked with a head lifted high. 

“I let people get hurt! People I love and care for because I prioritized you over everything I had!”

Another step forward, your voice shook with quivered lips as a result of an ached and long scorned heart.

“To think I used to be so proud to say it, to say you were my everything and my world.” With a trembled exhale, you gathered yourself before finishing your thought. “Maybe I am stupid, but trust me when I say my ignorance was your freedom and my considered love a blind devotion.”

Dream’s face softened considerably, for he was at a loss for words and didn’t have anything to probe at anymore. It was his turn to suffer in a lost acceptance.

“I…”

Shaking your head, you scoffed with your head tilted in disbelief. Smiling darkly, you knew then and there you regained the power of the room and your self-assurance over him. How the turn tables.

“Funny how things change when you have no where to run. When you’re the one helpless and reliant.”

Standing strong with your arms crossed, you stared at him with such distaste. Dream’s brows furrowed with a clench jaw as he stepped even closer to you. He was now mere inches away and glared down at you from his given height. Even then, you wouldn’t back down any longer.

“I do love you, y/n. Everything I did, I did for us. You can’t leave me like this.” He gazed down with such intensity that your past you would have wanted to say something just to appease him entirely; you weren’t that person anymore, and you wouldn’t let him drag you down more than he already has. 

Dropping yours arms before stepping back, you messaged Sam without wavering your eye contact from him. 

“We’re both at fault here, and now we both have to pay the price of it alone.”

The sounded mechanics from outside the box indicated the lava dropping, signifying the end of your visit. Dream grew agitated at the thought of you leaving and dropped his eyes down in resent, a huge contrast to your relaxed and calm state. 

You moved backwards until your back threatened to be burned by the heat. 

“Here’s to loosing all those attachments you mentioned.”

Dream’s head snapped up from your words, but before he could attempt anything further, the Netherite divider rose and separated you both. The lava parted as you approached the platform, Sam visible from across the entrapping moat. He watched closely in regard to your safety and anything Dream might try with your back currently turned. 

Approaching the stone platform once deemed safe, you turned to face him a final time as the contraption slowly pulled you away. Your chin was raised, and your tears were dry in satisfaction to your found closure.

“You were right,” you affirmed, “we did make promises, and this is our end.”

Bonus:

Tommy had been tormenting Dream for the past few minutes or so, his obnoxious taunts a sign of recovery from all the trauma he had dealt with from his young age. He hid behind his humor, but was strong when confronting his abuser with no uncertainty then. 

“Who do you miss the most?”

Dream paused from fiddling with the leather of the book covers from the simple question. His hand began to curl around the thick material, and he drowned out Tommy’s rambling from behind him.

A familiar scent filled his senses, an old and precious memory uncovered from the oppressed depths of his mind. He pulled the book in hand open to a random, but intentional page, his callous fingers tracing over the stained ink.

He wasn’t an artist, and it easily would have been passed for messy, nonsense doodles, yet the drawing practically burned the paper as a reminder of his failed objectives.

The innocent azure bluets insulted him despite being his own creation.

Dream was done playing into Tommy’s confidence, and spoke lowly as his head turned further away from the boy.

“… I think you should go, Tommy."

[lulu-zodiac]

Hi there. I’m still playing catch up with the panel’s so please bare with me. I came across the highlights post you did for jemish during the Denver con, which was really awesome of you to do btw. One of the things that has been nagging me from your highlights post is Jensen’s panel. You mentioned that he spoke about doing a movie in 3 years. Now with the fallout with Jared, I just wondered what your thoughts were on it. Do you think J2 will have patched things up enough to be able to work together by then? And do you think Misha would be willing to reprise his role even after all the trauma he went through? I’m just curious to know what your thoughts and or opinion is on it…

hmmm honestly? based off everything that's happened over the past year, i'd be surprised if jared and jensen are in the headspace where they'd want to act together again so soon.

even all of that stuff aside, i feel like they probably need a bit of time to process the end of the show and have little distance from it before going back to being sam and dean.

as for misha... idk. i'd love to see him back and to (fingers crossed) see cas's confession get the exploration and recognition it deserves. but... i don't know if that'll happen. i think misha would probably return if he felt that cas's storyline was going to be given justice, but if it was just going to be more queerbaiting? i'd have my doubts about him returning under those circumstances. you can already see the toll it's taken on him to have had to deal with all that during the last ten years and in the wake of the confession.

i also think you raise a good point about the conditions he clearly had to work in... i think both misha and jensen have made it quite clear they'd be up for working together again, but idk how misha would feel about being back on set with jared, or about returning to work within a homophobic environment.

i don't know really, i sadly don't have a crystal ball. but in an ideal world? they'd all come back at some point in the future and make a movie that addressed the confession properly, and do so in a safe and comfortable work environment for all of them.

[ninma]

A look at Dream's punishment through irl rules and taking into account UN's rules regarding prisons. Because it is just interesting and it proves how there is NO justification for it. But mostly because it's interesting to look at and you may learn a thing or two.

I have seen too many times people trying to justify Dream's punishment. I did research and read through multiple articles and documents (over 73 pages of two different documents) about the more legal sides of his punishment. While Quackity's physical torture is obvious, I am here to address that even before that it was still very illegal. I know it is fictional! This is just a look into the real life facts and rules regarding prisons because it is interesting to look at Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault under the light of these. So keep that in mind while reading this!

Welcome to my ted talk with actual facts and be prepared for quite the ride!

While yes, he has done bad things...however he has not done something so bad that he deserves a punishment so cruel that it's considered too inhumane for even mass murderers. Like actually! Stay tooned and you'll see what I mean.

His sentence is indefinite solidary confinement. Which is defined by the united nations as:

"the confinement of prisoners for 22 hours or more a day without meaningful human contact."

This means his punishment fits the definition for all his time (including visits) except when Tommy was locked inn and now with Quackity (although I'd consider the last one a turn for the worse). Now that we have that cleared up- lets get into the rule breaking. But first, let me introduce you to The Mandela Rules!

"The Mandela Rules reinforce human rights principles, including

 the recognition of the absolute prohibition of torture and other cruel, inhuman

 or degrading treatment or punishment and effective guidance 

to national prison administrations for persons deprived of their liberty"

Now that we have established that, lets get into this concerning fact train!

Rule 43

1. In no circumstances may restrictions or disciplinary sanctions amount to torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

The following practices, in particular, shall be prohibited:

(a) Indefinite solitary confinement;

(b) Prolonged solitary confinement;

(c) Placement of a prisoner in a dark or constantly lit cell;

(d) Corporal punishment or the reduction of a prisoner’s diet or drinking water;

(e) Collective punishment.

Yeah...pretty clear breaking of 4/5 there. They can't even break e! Not to mention the pretty explicit breaking of d that was probably a surprise. You can count it as them breaking 4/4 if you count the fact that they can’t even break e. Rest assured my friend, this is just the beginning.

Rule 44

For the purpose of these rules, solitary confinement shall refer to the confinement of prisoners for 22

 hours or more a day without meaningful human contact. Prolonged solitary confinement shall refer to 

solitary confinement for a time period in excess of 15 consecutive days.

Already broken this one too huh. Even visiting days counts because I don't think anyone has been there for hours and I also don't think Sam's interactions would be long enough or count as meaningful human contact. The time with Tommy and Quackity is the only time it dosen't count as solidary. So this is getting...very much concerinng. But this is still only the start.

Rule 45

1. Solitary confinement shall be used only in exceptional cases as a last

 resort*, for as* short a time as possible and subject to independent

 review, and only pursuant to the authorization by a competent authority. It

 shall not be imposed by virtue of a prisoner’s sentence.

2. The imposition of solitary confinement should be prohibited in the case

 of prisoners with mental or physical disabilities when their conditions

 would be exacerbated by such measures

Woops...so not only is it illegal as a punishment...but also the "he is a psychopath" argument (which is already a bad stereotype, but I won't get into psychology here. It's a common misconception and c!Tommy not knowing is almost to be expected. However please do not say that someone, character or real person, have a mental disorder or illness without proper knowledge about psychology and in the case of characters we shouldn’t put labels unless the writer has said that they have taken mental disorders or illnesses into account when making the character) just got yeeted out the window. Actually that argument just took a loop and now is an argument for the other side. It makes sense because as it says: it exacerbates their preexisting mental illnesses. Which is why it's prohibited. 

"In no case may a detainee’s contact with the outside world be

 dependent on his or her cooperativeness, be used as a disciplinary

 sanction or form part of the sentence."

  - Special Rapporteur on Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, Civil and Political Rights, Including the Questions of Torture and Detention, ¶ 43, Comm’n on Human Rights,

“…The medical officer should visit prisoners held in solitary confinement

 every day, on the understanding that such visits should be in the interests

 of the prisoners ’ health. Furthermore, prisoners held in solitary

 confinement for more than 12 hours should have access to fresh air for at

 least 1 hour each day” - Subcomm. on Prevention of Torture [SPT]

Wow Sam...it is almost impressive in a dark way just how explicitly these are broken. The Warden's very punishments for disobedience just straight up counts as torture. And for the obvious record I highly doubt Quackity's daily visits to the green bloob counts as anything but 'the interests of the prisoners' health'. You can disagree here...but I am being very sarcastic.

Rule 22

1. Every prisoner shall be provided by the prison administration at the

usual hours with food of nutritional value adequate for health and

strength, of wholesome quality and well prepared and served.

Raw potatoes every day for the rest of your life..eehhh no thanks. If Dream ever gets out he will probably join me in the 'eating potatoes trauma' box. As funny as that sounds, it isn't a joke. I was force fed potatoes as a child and I hated it to the point where it gave me a mental block that stops me from eating them as my body just does not want to swallow it. It's a problem. But I can joke about it. Maybe Tommy will join us too, although it wasn't really the eating potatoes that caused that trauma...rip. Rest in anything but potatoes.

Rule 42

General living conditions addressed in these rules, including those related

to light, ventilation, temperature, sanitation, nutrition, drinking water,

access to open air and physical exercise, personal hygiene, health care

and adequate personal space, shall apply to all prisoners without

 exception.

I think it's pointless to say more on that topic as it's pretty much already summed up. Let us now move over to what are probably some of the qoutes so specific that it's scary.

“Furthermore, [the Committee] is concerned about the use of solitary

 confinement for indefinite periods of time.... Full isolation of 22 to 23

 hours a day in supermaximum security prisons is unacceptable

(art. 16).” - Committee. against Torture [CAT]

Oh wow.. talk about on the nose. I should've just started with this one as it pretty much says pretty clearly how it is unacceptable. Like yikes...can you get more specific? It is just downright ridiculous at this point. (-_-;)

“Solitary confinement, when used for the purpose of punishment,

 cannot be justified for any reason, precisely because it imposes severe

 mental pain and suffering beyond any reasonable retribution for

 criminal behaviour and thus constitutes an act defined in article 1 or article

 16 of the Convention against Torture, and a breach of article 7 of the

 International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights."

Ahaha...ha....yeah for those who justify it...the convention against torture is very much against it being justified...Imagine if the characters could read these rules, that'd be interesting. Although I am pretty sure they don't follow realism for the imprisonment. As I have already said; this is just an interesting look at the irl rules and how Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault stand under light of them.

“No prisoner, including those serving life sentence [sic] and prisoners on

 death row, shall be held in solitary confinement merely because of the

 gravity of the crime.”

 - Special Rapporteur on Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment

Like...there are no loopholes here. It is so extremely clear that it truly is darkly impressive how the characters don't seem to have a second thought about this. How do you accidentally sentence someone to a lifetime of torture without realizing? If they do know...It'd be very dark.

Btw Tommy's exile and his time in prison doesn't count as solidary confinement. Just to clear that up.

It amazes me how badly they break these rules...I know they probably didn't take the realism into consideration. However it is still kind of darkly impressive. Especially considering how scary specific they break them too. Even though this is just a interesting (I was about to write fun, however I wouldn't count realizing how inhuman the prison is is 'fun'. But it is interesting) look at Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault under the light of real life rules for prisons. (lol my paranoid self have said this so much)

These facts also proves how saying it's justified...is kind of morally bad. Not attacking anyone! I just want to also say how while it is pure fiction and the characters in the story can have whatever opinion they want as they are characters. However when it comes to fans approving and justifying it without taking time to consider how it really isn't something that can be justified (real or no). You can have whatever opinion you want, however just maybe take some of what you have learned today and reflect over it? To think twice after having received new information dosen't hurt. I am not here to tell you what to think, so rest easy. Only to share some facts^^ (*so obviously scared of offending anyone*)

I recommend taking some time to look it up yourself if you want to look further into it. The psychological aspects of it is also interesting to look at!

I hope you have learned something here today and found this post and my research interesting! I spent hours on this so I hope you have enjoyed this! I originally posted this on reddit and I was very surprised at how many stopped by to read it and therefore I choose to post it here as well because you learn something and hopefully also gained a new perspective. 

Ninma over and out!

[mywingsareonwheels]

I hate Bucky’s therapist

I may well do a longer post on the first episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier but I need to say now that two days after watching it I hate Bucky’s therapist more and more as their scenes together percolate more and more in my brain.

Where’s the fricking compassion? where’s the recognition that Bucky is a victim of decades of torture and brainwashing and dehumanisation, not just a(n unwilling) perpetrator? Where is any mention of what was done to him, rather than what the Winter Soldier did? Making amends is good in principle, as is affirming his real identity (obviously), but the way in which he’s going about it (that she has at least signed off on) just seems easily retraumatising, and likely to confirm in his brain a sense of self-blame for actions that were not actually his fault.

Why is she telling him to count his blessings on one hand, and then on the other really brutally telling him how isolated and miserable his life is? Why is she criticising him for isolating himself while not doing anything to help him to recognise that he deserves a better life than the one he has right now? Where’s the patience with how alien everything is to him right now, with how completely fucking valid his struggles are?

She seems far more just a government hack trying to make sure the Winter Soldier is contained than someone actually interested in helping Bucky Barnes. It’s unclear at this point how the show wants us to see her, but at this point I’ll be livid if it starts being implied that we should think of her as doing a good job and Bucky only snarking at her out of defensiveness (rather than demonstrating that he’s got some agency and his own views now, which is fricking *good*).

A plot/character development I would like to see: given that Sam is a trained VA counsellor and so should know what decent therapy looks like, a scene or two where he gets increasingly concerned about the approach and motivations of Bucky’s therapist, especially after he meets her (which we know will happen from one of the trailers). So then Sam talking to Bucky about it, and going, “wtf, no, you are not being ornery your therapist is actually awful, come on we can find you someone better than that, I’ll ask around”. Because - and this is what really really hurts about this situation:- Bucky doesn’t actually know what good therapy looks like. He’s incredibly vulnerable without fully acknowledging his own vulnerability, and has horrifyingly low self-esteem and self-compassion. He may snark at her that doesn’t mean that he fully recognises that he really could and should be having a therapist who is, e.g. a specialist in long-term trauma, and is willing to show actual kindness to him.

One thing that’s very noticeable is that the really artificial way the amends-making works contrasts sharply with Bucky’s lovely burgeoning friendship with Yori/peacemaking in the alley. At least before that agonising reveal. (Gods, poor both of them, and Yori’s poor son. :( )

(I also note that if the show didn’t want us to hate what Steve did at the end of Endgame even more than we already did, it went a fucking funny way about it. That might be matter for another post though...)

[heckpup]

Hmmmmmm Time for the Part 2 of the Immortal Tommy AU I cooked up with my raw materials in the middle of the night

:DDDDDDDDD What fun. I have also now decided that Tommy's new wings are now phoenix style (cause he's immortal now, innit?), in flames, but only at the tips (so far, this will change the older he gets) and only if he wants them to be. Had he still been mortal, they probably would've been just a regular red, and so that is what they look like when they're not on fire.

Also, I'd like to imagine that the old worlds from when we were kids (with borders and that didn't go on forever and just stopped and dropped off into the void, right? I know me and my friends loved to find the corners and try to go through. Good times.) are what the god's personal realms are like. Not enough room for rebellion, since there's not enough room to run from an angry god/goddess. If you go to the edge, you can look at/travel to other worlds as well. Most gods don't bring other people into their worlds anyway, but *shrugs*

Edit: (I can't believe I forgot this I'm so sorry ;-;) TW:Mentions of bl00d, Mention of de@th, mentions of m@n!pulat!0n and g@sl!ght!ng, mentions of t0rture.

Just thought I should mention + explain.

~

"Hey Clara?" Tommy asks from a small tree, letting his feathers move gently in the wind.

"Yes, Tommy?" Clara calls from below, looking up at the young immortal. Tommy glides down to meet her on the ground, and he looks up at her a little sheepishly.

"Do you think that since, well, you know, I'm recovered and shit, I could visit those bitches from the SMP? I kinda just want to, uh, blow up at them, sorta. I just- its a lot of untapped rage and I really just wanna scream at 'em, you know? It's totally ok if you think I shouldn't I mean, you are the biggest man- er, woman- here, just wanted to ask, but uh-"

"Tommy." Clara cuts him off with a small smile, and a bit of mischief and malice (And anger, as well) twinkling in her dark eyes. "I think that's a wonderful idea. Besides," She begins to walk over to the edge of their small world, "they need to understand what they did, and its never good for us immortals to hold grudges over mortals. Could cause some unplanned problems in the far future."

Tommy beams, and Clara begins mentally preparing for the showdown with glee. "Tommy, how do you want to do it?" She asks, inner drama queen squealing.

"Well-" Tommy tells her- "-I really want it to be big and dramtic, you know? Like lightning and thunder, and like things bursting into flame and shit. I could probably do the flames myself, but do you think-" He looks up at her expectantly.

"Of course!" She says, patting his shoulder. "A storm fit for a god. It would be only fitting, of course. I am going to come along, of course. Just in case there are any unexpected developments, like more dramatic effect."

Tommy nods. "Yeah! Those bitches aren't gonna know what hit them! But, do you think you could stay invisible 'n shit for it? I still wanna do this by myself. I don't-" He cuts himself off, feathers ruffling. "I wanna yell and bitch about it, and I want to do this on my own. Like an important milestone on my recovery." Clara nods in agreement.

"Right, right. For the lightning though, is there any houses you want to keep out of harms way? I plan on hitting a lot of houses, just to get people up and moving."

Tommy thinks for a minute. "Uh, maybe hit close to Ranboo's house- he's the black and white hybrid, he's always been pretty nice to me- and Sam and Puffy and BadBoyHalo. Sam put Dream in prison a while ago, and Puffy and BBH gave me some gifts the night before you picked me up. So, they're clear from property damage, but I still want to see them. Defintely break Dream out, I want to yell at him though. Wait, maybe I can break him out, like teleport him away from the prison and show off my new powers and shit- anyway, maybe save Niki as well, she was always nice."

Clara nods and begins to locate the small world that she pulled Tommy from so many years ago. "Goodness!" She laughs. "It's been a while since you looked down at this one, isn't it?"

"Yeah, haven't had much time to think shit about those old bitches." Tommy begins to search with her, quickly locating the small SMP, being recently cleared of the red bloodvines that had plagued it for a while.

While they plan, they laugh, and Clara is reminded of how far the young godling had been when she whisked him away. His old SMP hadn't deserved him, not even for a second.

~

Tommy and Clara were watching from the clouds as the little people in the SMP ran around panicked about the storm that was destroying a lot of their houses. Tommy watched with glee and satisfaction as the majority of the SMP (save for Dream, of course) gathered in the newly rebuilt community house to discuss the looming problem.

"Dream has to be behind this, Sam!" Fundy growled out. "He's the only one that has this kind of power!"

"You ready?" Clara asked Tommy, after waiting for him to be perfectly positioned under one of the next lightning bolts, aimed at one of the doorways to the community house. Tommy nodded and lit the tips of his wings, prepared for the force of the bolt to push him back down to the earth.

The lightning hit, and Tommy found himself being thrown down and pushed to the ground.

The first thing he noticed was that the bolt left little sparks over his body and his wings were a little more lit up than usual.

The second thing he noticed was that everyone in the community house was looking at him.

He stood up and, with a great amount of false confidence, strode into the room. Tubbo was staring slack-jawed, as were most people in the building. Phil's face was incredibly pale, to the point that Tommy actually began to worry about the man's health. Ranboo looked at him wide-eyed, but then Tommy saw recognition flash and a smile began to creep onto his face.

But the person that Tommy had his eyes on the most was the no-longer transparent form of his elder brother, well and alive again.

"What's up, bitches?" Tommy grinned, and suddenly the room was alive with shouts and yelling and holy Prime, Tommy probably should have prepared more for this reaction but he hadn't even known Wilbur was alive but oh, Phil's yelling about how Tommy left him and-

"Tommy, how could you? You've been off to who knows where? Where the fuck have you been? How could you leave us?" Phil's void-black wings ruffled, and Tommy didn't even think before responding,

"I've been off healing, bitch! You know, from all the trauma you adults forced on me? And the gaslighting from Dream? The manipulation? It took me years to get over that shit, and the god's world-time runs slow! I spent a whole fucking year trying to understand that what you bitches put me through was fucking wrong, and I was not alright! I left you all here because you left me when I was at my fucking WORST! YOU LET A SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FIGHT IN FUCKING WARS AND GET EXILED! YOU EXPECTED ME TO TAKE THAT SHIT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT? FUCK NO!" Tommy's wings flared out and he could feel the heat radiating off of it, his flames responding to his anger.

"Thomas Minecraft-Innit, I am your father, how dare you-"

"Oh, you're my father now? Now, after you abandoned me, neglected me, left me in the dust? You cared more about your fucking war buddy than your own two sons! Wilbur was more of a father than you were, and then you fucking killed him!"

"Tommy-" Tubbo tried to interject.

"AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON YOU TUBBO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? YOU LEFT ME AS WELL, YOU LEFT ME WITH FUCKING DREAM! YOU EXILED ME, AND FOR FUCKING WHAT? A SAD POSITION IN A COUNTRY THAT YOU LET DREAM PUPPETEER ANYWAY! WE FOUGHT THAT WAR TO GET AWAY FROM DREAM, AND THEN YOU FUCKING LET HIM RIGHT BACK IN!" Tommy raged, turing on his ex-best friend. "Oh, speaking of-" He snapped his fingers and then Dream was in the room with them, wearing an orange jumpsuit and looking around wildly.

The room let out a great outburst, which, to be fair, was expected.

But then Dream took one look at Tommy and decided that it was a-fucking-okay to try and re-manipulate Tommy again. As if he didn't notice that Tommy was much older, much more healed and much more powerful than before. (Or that could just be him. Clara did tell him that gods- and even godlings- could change their age and appearance, and sometimes it was involuntary and depended on emotions and metal stability. Tommy did actually feel much younger. Maybe it was from being in this place, this world, and being in front of the person that hurt him most. That would make sense.)

"Tommy!" Dream cried with unusual glee. "You're here to help me, aren't you? You finally came to your senses about your best friend, right?" Tommy only raised an eyebrow in response, not giving him an answer. "What, not going to give an answer to your only friend? Tommy, I stayed with you, I kept you company when no one else did, remember?" Prime, how long did Dream think he had been in that prison for?

Tommy only shrugged and then pulled out a sword and dashed up to Dream, keeping the blade on Dream's throat. "You mother fucker. You are the biggest bitch boy I've ever, and I mean ever, had the pleasure of knowing, bitch boy. You are the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me, you know that? You killed me twice, and for what? Gratification of knowing you killed a teenager? And then you tried to gaslight me, manipulate me into doing your sick shit for you? That's the most fucked up thing I've ever known, Dream. I'm going to enjoy taking this life from you." And then he swung, embedding the blade into the wall behind where Dream's body had once been.

TommyInnit killed Dream with [A Final Blow]

Dream made the achievement [Banned?]

"Tommy what-" Tommy turned to look at Technoblade, who was looking blankly at his chatlog.

"Oh, don't worry too much about him. He'll just be stuck for a few days in the ban-void, and then he'll come back on his own." A great number of people paled, knowing the ban void, when you were still on a world, meant that you were subjected to great amounts of agony as your body tore itself apart and tried to pull its code back together. And Tommy had just taken one of Dream's lives, too!

"Tommy, what happened to you?" Phil asked, horrified.

"I grew up," Tommy said with a smile. "And now I have the rest of time to spend continuing to grow and live. Becuase now, Tommy Innit never dies."

Techno rushed at him suddenly, axe swinging. It caught the edge of Tomm'y neck, and Tommy took the chance to grab Techno by the scruff on his, and lift him up, also while feeling his body grow older. Several gasps were heard around the room at the sudden change. "What were you trying to do there, Technoblade? You can't kill a god." And then he let Techno drop to the ground, before touching the part of his neck Techno had sliced.

His hand drew away with golden ichor.

[capsamxbucky]

when is sam gonna get some recognition of his trauma in this show????(because sam deserves love) 3 more episodes to go???

I’ve always thought six episodes were not enough and from what I’m seeing so far I was right. there’s a few things that I wanted to see being more explored but it feels like the show is moving too fast and not really giving sam time to digest anything that’s been happening... I can only hope they’ll give sam some respect in the next few episodes

[rebel-in-white]

Supporting the Future Captain America: Sam’s Journey

After episode 2 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, I had so many thoughts and feels about some topics the show presented. This post: Marvel is showing America how we support Black people into positions of power, and I love it.

When Sam refused to become Captain America, I completely understood his decision. He never says it outright, but a part of his decision is based on the fact that he’s a Black man in America and believed that he wouldn’t be accepted. The writers of the show don’t explicitly tell us this, but they smartly let viewers come to their own conclusion after these scenes:

Sam, because he is a Black man in America, gets pulled over by the police and asked for his ID. The police officer even gets tense when he raises his voice in frustration. John Walker is praised and embraced by the police because of his new status as Captain America and also because he’s White. 

Becoming the new Captain America is a complicated business as explained by both John Walker and Sam Wilson. Walker voiced his doubts in the opening scene of episode 2, and Sam says that the shield never felt his. Now, imagine taking on the complexity of that shield and that legacy, especially after the Blip, and adding race to that as well. It’s understandable that Sam was hesitant, and eventually refused to accept that immense burden.

How will he eventually become Captain America? I believe it will happen through a support system because that is how you raise members of a historically oppressed community. It’s not just by throwing money or resources at people, then expecting them to succeed--it’s by supporting and believing in people as well. Letting people see that success could be theirs, and that they will have people to support and help them if they need it.

So far, here are the members of Sam’s support system in becoming the first Black Captain America:

Rhodey:

Rhodey is an important part of this support system because he is already in a position of power and has supported Tony Stark for numerous years. America trusts Rhodey, we trust Rhodey, and Sam trusts Rhodey. He’s also someone who understands what it means to be a Black man in a predominately White space. He can also serve as a mentor for Sam - an older, Black leader he can relate to and discuss issues only he can understand.

We can see this in episode 1 when Sam and Rhodey stand together, staring at the shield:

These are two intelligent, hard working, distinguished Black men, gazing at a shield that represents American freedom, a right that used to belong to only a small fraction of the American population. Steve became Captain America before Civil Rights Movement, during a time of hatred, bigotry, and genocide. Rhodey looks at the shield and declares it a new day, signaling to the viewers that times have changed and that we need to be open to that change. People can accept Sam as the new Captain America, who will embody freedom and justice in a different manner.

Rhodey understands the significance of this moment and knows that Sam could be an excellent Captain America. Sam is not there yet. I think Sam is still wrapped up in “Oh my God, I have to fill in Steve’s shoes. Can I do it? This is something I have to do alone.” And this series will prove to him that he is not alone, that he has people who care and will support him as Captain America.

Isaiah

it’s strange to put Isaiah here because he doesn’t care about Sam or anything having to do with the government/Captain America/heroes. But he’s the first Black Super Soldier. He almost killed the Winter Soldier back in 1951.

Isaiah is part of this support system because he will be living evidence for people that a Black man could do what Steve Rogers did, making it easier for Sam to be accepted as Captain America. I do think that his life’s story will be known to the American public, and he will get the recognition he deserves by the end of the series. it won’t make up for the betrayal his own country has done to him, though.

He’s also a cautionary tale for Sam. Isaiah, like so many Black people who have historically been used and forgotten by the military, was thrown aside, without support or recognition, when he was no longer useful. The same thing could happen to Sam. After he serves as Captain America, could he also be cast aside as soon as he’s done - without help and without the respect he deserves? Could he find himself used for nefarious experiments? Sam needs to have a strong support system to make sure that doesn’t happen.

About Isaiah, I want to add that his story is based on real history. Historically, Black people have been experimented on by the American government or people in power. If you haven’t heard about Henrietta Lacks, please look up this woman. It’s an incredible story of how scientists and doctors used a Black woman’s amazing cells to create vaccines, medications, and procedures all without her consent or without giving her credit. Her family didn’t even understand what was going on, until a few years ago, and they didn’t even have health insurance. Just like Isaiah and his young relative. He served his country, was experimented on, put in jail, Bucky declares him a hero, but he lives in some dilapidated house, alone and bitter.

Bucky Barnes

Bucky is going to be essential in getting Sam to become Captain America. I love how Marvel is letting him make mistakes when it comes to race and understanding Sam’s decision. I love it because we make mistakes about race all the time. We are afraid to ask because we don’t want to be labeled as racist, we don’t want to offend, and we want to be seen as progressive and on the right side. In episode 2, we have Bucky make assumptions and show his ignorance because he’s from a different timeline, and he’s White.

He doesn’t understand the significance of what’s happening, and a lot of people have been in his shoes. How many of us have seen, or even committed, a prejudiced act without understanding what was going on? Without understanding the other side? It’s ok to be ignorant. It’s ok that Bucky was ignorant in this scene, it doesn’t make him a bad person or racist, but what’s dangerous is when people refuse to learn and change and stay ignorant. Or, when people stay quiet, don’t ask questions, and form all types of assumptions based on their ignorance.

Bucky keeps asking about the shield. The shield has a lot of meaning to him, and he just doesn’t understand how Sam could give it up. And Sam reveals that maybe Steve or Bucky will never understand his decision because they come from different time periods and races.

We don’t know too much about the outcome of this conversation (it happened at the end of episode 2), but Bucky became upset that he hurt Sam. We can see this when he asks Dr. Raynor what was the second rule and then, when he mets up with Sam outside, he confesses that he feels awful. I think he was about to apologize to Sam before Walker interrupted them.

Bucky is essential in Sam’s support system because he’s going to prove to Sam that he’s not alone in being Captain America. We see that Sam feels this burden very strongly, and he feels like its something that he alone has to shoulder:

Ultimately, the decision to be Captain America belongs to Sam, but Bucky will show him that he doesn’t have to take that burden by himself. We can see the beginning of this when they present a united front when meeting people like Walker.

Bucky also shows how a White man can be part of a Black man’s support system as an ally. He’s trying to understand the other side, he asks questions, he respects the other’s decisions, and he values Sam’s abilities. Keep in mind, though, that Bucky is dealing with trauma and mental health issues, so hopefully we’ll see more positive behavior from him as the series continues.

So excited to see Sam Wilson eventually accept and become Captain America. Thank you for reading this.

Why I capitalized “b” in “Black” and “w” in “White”