#same with cleaning your room! it can be super dangerous to your health if you never clean up

[catgirlcrisis]

whoopsie-daisie hit reblog too fast

[lvxybby]

Music Ties (kurt cobain x fem! reader) (pt5) WARNING: talk of sex, talk of drugs,

the door to the apartment opened to reveal kurt. he was wearing his sonic youth shirt and some torn pants. i wore a sweater with some sage green cargo pants. my makeup was done nicely but not my best. just some eye shadow, eyeliner, foundation and concealer, and a hint of bright red lipstick. "sorry im not looking the best right now" kurt spoke rubbing his neck. "its ok, i know you have a lot of things on your hands anyways" i reassured him. he coughed a bit before moving out of the door frame and letting me in. his apartment was nicely clean and smelled fresh. like a spring morning. "hello" i heard dave's soft voice say. "good afternoon dave" i said waving and smiling. kurt shut the door and walked over to me. "uh ok...fuck what do we do first..." he said avoiding eye contact. "um...i dont know...get to learn more about each other maybe..." i said admiring the room. some of his guitars were on stands or on the wall. it was a very clean apartment. but i couldn't stop thinking of kurt. i couldn't stop thinking of his hands wrapped around my waist and pulling me into a deep kiss. but this was serious. it was work. i had to stay focused even if it seemed impossible. "ok that sounds good..." kurt said giving me a small smile. it was perfect. so pretty. i wanted to kiss him so bad. but i couldn't....i knew i couldn't...were just band mates and friends...nothing more....dave went to the kitchen and made him some lunch before going outside. we were alone. anything could happen. absolutely anything. me and kurt just stared at each other before kurt spoke. "uhm...tell me something about you i guess" the situation couldn't be any more awkward. "ok...i smoke weed..." i spoke fidgeting with my hands. "oh thats cool...may i ask why?" kurt spoke lifting his eyebrows. "well i have really bad anxiety and i overthink a lot of situations...or when i cant get something off of my mind...." i said putting my hands in my pockets. kurt may be a nice, calm, understanding guy but i still wanna look my best as if it was a job interview for a huge million dollar company. i want to seem presentable to him even though hes a laid back guy that doesnt give two shits what you do as long as your ok and not in trouble. i want him to notice me and run his hands up and down my body. i want him to strip me nude and fuck me until i pass out. i want him so so bad. but its not a want. its a need. i need him so bad. i need him to touch me. i snapped out of my short trance when he spoke again. "...same..." he said nodding his head to my statement. "i started when i was 13 or 14..." he continued. "15...." i said looking at him. "feeling a bit better after last night?" i asked "hm? oh yeah....thanks you helped out a lot even if it was just fetching my meds...it hurts so bad....and my back is so much worse...im constantly in pain. and my guitar doesn't help...it weighs so much and when i perform for hours my shoulder hurts and i get really sore...like now...." he said rubbing his shoulder. "awe im sorry..." is said looking at his blue eyes. "scoliosis sucks....i would do anything to have good health....absolutely anything" he said putting his arm by his side again. we talked a bit more and what my position was going to be in the band. soon it started to pour down rain and it was really bad. it was extremely loud, dark, and the roads were super slick. i couldn't drive in it at all if i wanted to. it was late at night. around 10:00. it was pitch black. you couldn't see your own hand in front of your face. "holy shit...thats some bad rain..." kurt said as he looked out his window. "i...i cant drive in that...i'll crash..." i said looking at kurt. "you can stay here for the night...i don't want you driving in that either...too dangerous" he said coming back over to me. i sat on the couch in between dave and kurt, they weren't gonna do anything. they're feminist. "well....wanna watch a movie?" dave asked flipping his long brown hair out of his face. "sure" kurt said before looking at me. i nodded my head in agreement. "sounds good"

[mistertf2xreaderfluffballcake]

I had idea for a request it's basic but my favorite trop sooo how about The mercs in an there is only one bed scenario?

OHHHHH!! YESSSS This is such a wonderful idea! Thank you for the idea anon!! OHHH I am so excited! By the way, basic ideas are good! It helps me improve for future writtings! I am so happy thank you very much! By the way, I have been really busy so I might not come to all requests! Sorry!

Scout

This boy was...flustered as fuck. As soon as you both only so one bed, he thought he was dreaming. Pls, help me. He saw your flushing face then he exploded red. (damn that is so fricking cute) So, he then started the conversation. ''D-DO you want the left or right'' ''l-left'' So yeah now you were on bed, he was a nervous wreck. He looked at you, you were already asleep...You looked so peaceful, hehe. You then got up due to scout shuffling so much, ''*yawn* Scout you cant sleep?'' ''Yeah...hmmm sorry if I bothered you toots'' ''It`s ok umm you wanna play Uno or poker or something?'' ''YES!!'' ''*chuckles* Of course.'' He melted at your little chuckle. You both went on the carpet floor and played some games the next morning you were both found sleeping on the floor....hugging...

Soldier

He seemed fine on the outside but deep inside he was a teeny tiny bit flustered. (SOLDIER YOU ARE OVERTHINKING IT!!) So, for that night he let you go to bed early. He has some training or something. After finishing training he saw you. Peacefully sleeping, your breathing was slow and cute. He then went to bed, but he slipped a bit. He did not fall but still made some noise. You woke up. ''Soldier are you okay!?'' ''I am fine cupcake'' After treating his wound. (he got a bit hurt) You both were in bed sitting up, you then talked about you can`t sleep. He said the same. ''U-UM cupcake do you want to hear about my stories?'' ''Yes please'' You gently smiled. He then talked about dangerous/ adventurous storied about war, the past, or maybe this week. It was super interesting soon you felt sleepy. He noticed it and made you lay down. He then turned the light off. Good night cupcake. This was not as bad as he thought, your face of curiosity was so cute...I think I should share my stories more.

Pyro

He did not care, yey sleepover! This both surprised you but warmed your heart. Pyro brought all the fairy tale stories, stuffed animals, etc. It was a nice tent. Since both of you were not able to sleep. You read over 30 fairy tales to pyro. If they had the character flush/puppet for that book you then used it to act it out (like in a puppet show) It was awesome!!! You also soon felt sleepy, ''and then red riddin-zzz~'' Pyro then tucked you in bed and patted your head. :)).

Engineer

This boy was a blushing mess. So were you. There are two red tomatoes and a bed, in this room. You were the first to ask if you should sleep on floor, then engi said that he would instead. After some talking, you know what fuck it. Yep, you were going to sleep on the same bed. The floor was rock hard and tomorrow was an important day, you both valued health so. It was fine I think. You first went to sleep first you were dead tired so. Engi was about to talk, but he noticed you sleeping he then watched you sleep for a couple of hours and wondered about you. Then you said some mumble ''...mm..?'' It was so cute omg. He then went to sleep thinking about that cute sound. He then woke up early and made you some breakfast :)). ''Mornin sugar!''

Heavy (hard to explain but just go with it)

That was not the biggest issue it was the bed`s durability issue. He was worried as fuck if the bed would break due to him being huge. Luckily it did not, thank god, if guys broke it meant you had to pay the hotel for the damage. To be honest heavy was a bit flustered about this. So yeah, you first went on the bed, you were really sleepy and fell asleep first. After heavy finished cleaning Sasha he then went to bed, due to his weight all the weight went too heavy so the bed was a bit leaned toward him (do you get what I mean? hard to explain) You then rolled a bit and was next to his arm like really close, heavy forgot how to breathe for a second. You were hugging his arm...this is the cutest thing ever. He soon went to sleep. Even till morning, you still hugged his arm.

Demoman

He couldn't think straight. Hmm~One bed only huh...Oh, He then realized. He was red. He then spoke first ''You can sleep first, Im gonna go to a bar'' ''Um-I th-'' He opened the window to check the weather, *fooosh* It was raining, hard. Welp. ''I thinks it raining'' ''Ye, it is...'' ''...'' ''Wanna play one round of poker before sleeping?'' ''Yeah!'' ''hehe lets go to the living room table, and also...'' ''?'' ''Scrumpy'' ''Hehe ok ok and scrumpy!''You guys had a fun time and no you did not just play 1 round of poker but 10. You both fell asleep on the table, demo woke up to see your right hand holding his hand and the left-hand holding cards. Your hands were warm...my face is all red...I am just drunk...

Sniper

*floof* His face was bright red. Lord help him he feels like his face is on fire. Help pls send help. He tried to act cool but failed. You were really sleepy so you really didn't notice that there was only one bed. You were maybe a bit drunk... You jumped on the bed ''I-It so soft mmm...Do you want to join me, sniper?'' Your cute round eyes was just so... OOF. He sat on the very edge of the bed, like the tip of the bed. ''Ye Its soft...and nice'' (just like you) ''Yeah~Its soft...zzz'' He then watched you peacefully sleep, it was so...adorable. He then got the courage to pat your head. Pat. Then he watched your reaction it was a cute smile of comfort. Ok. Clear. (He was checking whether you would wake up or not) He then continued patting. Pat...Pat...pat.....pat....pat. He soon fell asleep his hand was still on your head.

Medic

He really tried not to be flustered about this he really did but nope. Too bad his head was exploding and his heart was pounding. The same was for you. Then this happened. ''You know...I will sleep on the floo-'' ''Absoulutly NOT! It is bad for your spine/back you should sleep on the bed I will sleep on the floo-'' ''But its bad for you back too medic, tomorrow is an important day'' ''...ok'' So yep, now you were both in the bed. You were slowly drifting to sleep. zzz...You fell asleep first, medic was about to drink the sleeping pills but then saw your cute sleeping face...He then watched you for a while, the way you breathed slowly and look so peaceful fascinated him. He then played around with your hair it was soo soft. Then you looked cold, he then put the cover on and took his glasses and slept.

Spy

This man was okay with it. He was pretty chill not gonna lie...but he was still nervous...a little. He usually stays up late so yeah...he has a hard time sleeping. So obviously you slept first, you passed out on the bed. Which he found adorable. And boom, you were asleep. Spy was on the bed but was sitting up just reading. He had one hand on the bed and one on the book. After a few moments he saw you hold his hand. He was surprised but happy. Your gentle hand were holding his hand. It had gloves but still he found that really cute. He still felt the warmth. He soon went to bed, even till morning your hands were intertwined :).

Yes! I finally finished idk why this took so long. One bed huh...it was dun to write this! It ain`t cheesy but rather comfort/fluff focus. I have been busy. So yeah, Requests will take a while. I just have so many ideas to write!! :< So yeah, hope you enjoyed it! Have a nice day~

[milliedazzledust]

I'll Come Back for You (Bucky Barnes imagine)

REQUEST: ANON - something where he is in winter soldier mode and protecting the scientist (y/n) where she is the only one who can sort of calm him down after a mission

ANON - winter soldier!bucky being protective over his scientist who’s forced to be take care of his health and she’s being kept there against his will too

ANON - Bucky Barnes request about how both reader and Bucky are each other support systems? It could be like a headcanon, how would the reader comfort him while how he comforts her so forth and so on

WORDS: 3506

A/N: So I don't know if I was inspired or if I just wrote too much, but I'm not sure this story's good. Anyway, feedback is really appreciated and I hope you'll like it :) (also don't forget to tell me if you want to be on my taglist ^^)

“What happened this time ?”

Her voice was only a whisper in the quiet room. The broken man silently sat on the examination table while she stuck a needle in his functioning arm. He didn’t speak, didn’t even flinch. This masquerade had started the moment she had set foot inside Hydra secret base. They had brought her against her will to take care of their most valuable soldier. It was always the same dance, rehearsed a million times since she had met him. After each mission, each murder, he’d come to her. She’d fix his physical wounds, take care of his arm and let him go.

More than often, she found herself feeling sorry for him. She knew what Hydra was doing to him, she’d heard the screams echoing in the distance. It would keep ringing in her ears for hours. Sometimes, the simple thought of picturing what he was going through was enough to bring her to tears. No one deserved to suffer this way.

The Winter Soldier was a cruel man, an assassin. She had seen him in action, had even been attacked the first time they were introduced. But despite being the necessary tool to take care of their valuable killer, she liked him. This wasn’t a place anyone could handle, not even him. And while she was aware of the danger Hydra represented, he was a different story. The man he once was had been trapped in a small corner of his mind, disconnected. His hands were his own, but his actions were dictated by an army that had invaded his head long ago. He was a machine turned on and off at will by the power of ten simple words.

“I was stabbed” Was his only answer. He didn’t give any detail, simply raised his shirt so she could inspect the injury.

“Do you feel any pain ?”

He blankly stared at an invisible point on the wall, avoiding looking at her. He was aware anyone could be listening.

“Soldier ?” She called him, stopping her movement and waiting for his response.

“I don’t feel anything” His voice was emotionless and a chill ran down her spine when he spoke. He was detached, impassive, a statue unaware he was capable of sentiment.

She cleared her throat, trying to stay focused on her task. She cleaned the wound, took his vitals, wrote down the conclusion of her examination and prepared what she needed to sew him up.

When she was about to administer the anesthetic, he suddenly grabbed her wrist. She caught her breath, frightened, but made no movement. For the first time that day, he turned his head to look at her. Whatever she saw in his eyes was enough to ease the tension in her shoulders and she relaxed.

“It’s okay” She whispered, a kind smile on her face. “This is propofol”

She knew he would recognize the name. She had spent countless hours explaining everything she was doing to him in detail so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable or scared. He was a super soldier that required extreme measures of treatment.

“No drugs,” He told her.

“You might regret that decision once I start to put the stitches in”

“I need to stay conscious,” He explicated, almost begging her. “Please”

She didn’t argue, only glanced at a camera behind her recording their interaction.

“Alright” She conceded. “I’ll switch to saline”

He nodded, grateful she wasn’t pushing. She turned her back carefully so her table was no longer in the camera’s field of view and he watched her emptying the needle and filling it with a harmless mixture of water and sodium chloride. Nothing that would put him to sleep.

“Have you ever been to Greece ?” She asked him out of the blue. He stared at her curiously. “I’ve always dreamed of visiting. It has the longest coastline in Europe, with so many islands between the blue Aegean Sea to the east, the Mediterranean Sea to the south, and the Ionian Sea to the west. Can you imagine how beautiful it must be ?”

She kept talking for a while about the country, the books she had read and the films she had seen about it. His eyes stayed on her the whole time, his head tilted to the side, wondering why she was telling him all this. Not that he minded, he loved listening to her. She had the power to calm him down. He was constantly on high alert, ready to fight whomever he was told to kill, prepared to endure whatever torture they had prepared, but this room and the woman inside were his only small moments of peace. Her voice was the music he desperately needed to sooth his soul.

“Why are you telling me this ?” He wondered out loud.

She smirked. “To take your mind somewhere else than here. Seems like it worked”

He glanced at his stomach and realized the stitches were already there. Too engrossed in her story, he hadn’t noticed or felt anything.

“How…”

“Funny how magical words can turn out to be, isn’t it ?”

She could swear she saw the flicker of an emotion on his face looking back between his wound and the woman, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

“Thank you, doc”

She hesitated a moment before gently taking his hand on her own.

“Be careful” She muttered. “There’s only so much I can fix”

“I will” He promised. “Are they … are they treating you right ?”

She shrugged. “If threatening to kill me is what you consider right, then I guess I’m a real princess in a castle”

He ran a jerky hand through his hair and seemed to be looking for the right words to say but never spoke.

“Can I ask …” She began, curiosity getting the best out of her. “What is your real name ?”

When his gaze fell on her, all she saw was pure panic. Her question, as simple as it may have been, had surprised him. He didn’t remember, didn’t even question anyone, because it hadn’t mattered. He didn’t need to be more than a ghost to be able to kill.

“I’m sorry” She apologized. “I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to…”

“I don’t know” He admitted.

She gulped and looked away. His eyes held too much confusion and despair. Coming face to face with the enormity that was this man’s fate was sometimes undeniably heartbreaking.

“Can I call you Winter, then ?” She suggested.

He seemed to ponder for a while before offering her a small smile. “Yes, yes I’d like that”

It hurt to see a glimpse of happiness on his face for something as simple as a name and the woman didn’t realize that what she had just given him was the shred of an identity. A tiny piece he would hold onto. He was living inside a nightmare he had no idea he was trapped into, and if she dared to help, she would pay it with her life. So all she had the power to do was give him a name. Make him feel alive again.

The next time she saw him was only a couple of days after, carried by two agents, head hanging low and barely conscious. His clothes were stained in blood and his metal arm seemed dislocated.

“Patch him up” One of the men coldly ordered. They dropped the injured soldier on the ground like he was nothing more than an object, not even human.

She rushed to his side, checking his pupils first with a flashlight to rule out any intracranial damage to his brain. She did the same on his chest with a stethoscope, searching for any potential life threatening injury. When she moved to his shoulder to inspect the metal bones, he regained consciousness. Maybe it was the sight of yet another scientist above him or the touch of her fingers on his skin, but the man was quick to react and got on his feet in no time. His human hand wrapped around her neck tightly and he pushed her body with force against a wall, choking her. She tried to speak, but the action had been so sudden and violent that she was unable to move a muscle. He was in a trance, eyes filled with hatred that she knew was not directed toward her. Whatever he was picturing in his mind had awakened the assassin. She was the threat and he was in a game of survival.

She whispered his name several times but it was only after a minute, when she was on the verge of passing out, that he seemed to realize what he was doing. He stared at her with wide open eyes and released her from his grip. Her body fell on the floor before she started coughing, struggling to catch her breath.

“I’m…” He tried to speak, looking down at his hands in horror.

“Water” She managed to whisper.

He brought the woman a bottle and tried to help her on her feet. When he reached for her, she involuntarily flinched. A pure reflex. She didn’t miss the sadness on his face as he recoiled from her.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know. It’s alright”

“I could’ve killed you” He said it more to himself than to her.

“But you didn’t” She laid a hand on her chest, taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart rate. “What happened ?”

“You touched me,” He explained.

“I touch you all the time” When he smirked, she realized the double meaning behind what she had just said. “Hm … why would it be any different today ?” She immediately changed the subject.

“Usually, when I’m unconscious I can … sense them around me. Working on me. And I can’t move but I still feel the pain”

Once again she was at a loss of words against the heaviness that was the burden of his life.

“Are you sure you’re alright ?” He repeated almost in a childish voice.

“I’ll get over it, don’t worry” She tried to reassure him. It didn’t seem to work. He took a temptative step, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. He moved his hand toward her neck, deliberately going as slow as he could. His eyes stayed on hers, watching out for any sign of fear. “What are you doing ?” She said in a breath, a different kind of shiver rolling down her spine.

“I need to make sure I didn’t hurt you” The sincerity and concern she heard in his voice were unsettling. She stared back in disbelief, but didn’t move. This was the closest they had ever been and it almost felt unreal for both of them. Too good to be true, especially in a place of nightmare like this.

He tilted her head to the back, still looking at her, and softly brushed his thumb over her skin. A bruise was already starting to appear. She saw the change in his eyes, the regret and sadness when he lowered his gaze. He kept inspecting her from all angles possible, making her chuckle in the process.

“Are you done, doctor ?” She joked.

He tried not to smile but miserably failed. “Almost. Haven’t found a diagnosis yet”

This time she laughed.

“C’mon, I’m not the real patient here. I need to take a look at you” She glanced at his metal arm, still dislocated. He was avoiding using it and she had noticed.

He sighed but didn’t remove his hand from her neck. Instead, his thumb slowly reached her cheek and he gently stroked her skin.

“I wish I could get you out of here” He whispered. “You don’t deserve any of this”

“Neither do you”

He clenched his jaw and plastered a tight smile, refusing to acknowledge what she had just said. He lowered his arm and sat on the examination table without saying anything.

“I’m gonna … hm … I’m gonna need to cut your shirt open” She gulped, trying to keep her cheeks from getting any warmer.

The man smirked and grabbed a pair of scissors nearby that he handed to her. She took it but didn’t dare to look at him, too uncomfortable by the situation. As she cut his shirt higher and higher, her hands started to shake. He could see her shifting her weight from side to side and desperately avoiding any eye contact. She was embarrassed and he was enjoying every second of it.

When finally she had taken it carefully off his body, she huffed in frustration. There was no denying that he had beyond toned muscle structure, verged into defined and well built curves.

“Is it… is it alright if I touch you ?” She allowed herself to take a glance at him, and rolled her eyes when she saw the smirk on his face.

“More than alright, doc” He teased her.

The moment her hands came in contact with his skin, he involuntarily flexed his muscles. She took a sharp breath, trying not to lose focus when she cleaned his wounds. She looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t in any pain, only to realize he was already staring. What should have been a quick glance turned into something more, a moment that lasted a little too long. When he leaned in toward her, she suddenly seemed to notice the lack of space between them. She cleared her throat and took a step back.

“Quit flirting, Winter” She reprimanded him with a playful grin.

He laughed. It was the first time she heard that sound and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. He looked so carefree and alive, so human. She was finally meeting the man behind the assassin, and he troubled her even more than the silent killer.

“I kinda like to see you flustered, doc”

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to hide her obvious nervousness.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” She pursed her lips to keep from smiling.

“Sure you don’t” He sniggered.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna need to put that shoulder into place”

Instead of talking, he grabbed her hips and considerably shortened the distance she had put between them. Her eyes widened from both the sudden gesture and the feeling of his fingers on her body.

“Go right ahead, doc”

She leaned in toward him to have a better access to the injury, ignoring the unexpected shudder. She was practically over him, a hand on his shoulder, the other on his broad back. If he felt any pain when she pushed the bones back into place, he didn’t show.

“All good ?” He muttered, heavily breathing. She was about to ask if he was okay but the words stayed stuck when she realized how close their faces were. He wasn’t hurt, no, he was perturbed by her presence. He could smell her perfume and see the hair raising on her neck. Whatever he was feeling, she felt it too.

“Do I make you nervous, soldier ?” She said, a smile building on her full lips.

“You have no idea, doctor”

She turned to face him. They locked eyes and, for a moment, none of them moved. The atmosphere instantly changed when he bit his lips. He bent closer and closer, and this time she didn’t push back. When finally he kissed her, she froze in place. He was about to draw back when she grabbed his neck, deepening the kiss. A sensation she couldn’t comprehend took over her whole body. He didn’t rush, took his sweet time lingering his lips over hers. She could swore her knees would have given out if he wasn’t holding her in place. Her chest was fluttering and she lost all sense of time. He pulled back from the lack of oxygen, but not before caressing her mouth one last time.

“Too much?” He inquired quietly.

She shook her head, laughing. “No. Just enough”

“I’ve been dreaming of doing that for a while” He admitted.

“Quite the change of attitude. I could’ve sworn you wanted me dead only ten minutes ago” She joked.

He pouted, not particularly happy she was reminding him of his previous outburst.

“You’re all set up, Winter” She announced after one last look over his chest. “No major damage”

“Have you checked my heart ?” He joked with a smirk. “I think it’s beating a little fast”

She coughed to try and hide her laugh.

“I’m afraid that’s not fixable” She started to write her report, ignoring his lingering gaze on her. Her brain was still fuzzy from the kiss they shared. “Unless I stay away, which would probably ease your … discomfort”

“Who said anything about discomfort ? That’s a kind of pain I’d rather enjoy”

She raised an eyebrow, not missing the way her own heart palpitated.

“Don’t play with fire, soldier”

He smirked. “Between us, I’m trying to delay the moment I’ll have to go through that door again”

This time she lost all joy and raised her head from what she was writing on her report to look at him.

“You’re strong enough to leave this place, you know”

“Leave where ?” He asked.

“Somewhere you’ll find who you really are”

“Does that somewhere include you ? ‘Cause you should know I won’t go without you”

She walked up to him and took his hands.

“Save yourself while you still can, Winter” She sadly replied.

“What about you ?”

“I’m just … collateral damage” She exhaled.

He gently pressed his forehead to hers.

“I promise I’ll come back for you after that last mission”

“I’ll hold you onto that”

He planted a soft kiss on her lips, making her forget once again where they were and what their reality was.

“I’ll take you to Greece” He whispered. “Just the two of us. Wouldn’t that be great ?”

“It’s a date” She grinned, making him laugh.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. We’ll get out of here” He swore. “And I’ll take you dancing under the stars of Mykonos”

He didn’t know then that he would never have the occasion to keep that promise. They would have more moments, stolen from the chaos of this place, but nothing more. Weeks later, he would hear rumors about treason and compromising positions. He would understand too late they meant her. She was his weak point, and the Winter Soldier couldn’t have any weaknesses. She was disposable, he was an assassin with superpowers. All the recordings they had proved he no longer could be operational so long as she was still breathing.

“Buck, you alright ?” A voice suddenly spoke in the agonizing silence.

He turned around to his friend, brushing the tears he didn’t realize had started to fall. Standing in the empty room, he couldn’t move away from the dried patch of blood on the floor.

“Yeah, I just need a minute” He shook his head, trying to make the painful memories disappear.

The man behind him began to inspect the place, searching through scattered papers around a desk.

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N” He read.

Bucky closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. The simple sound of her name was enough to widen the open wound inside his chest. He sat on the examination table one last time, without her. Forgetting he wasn’t alone, he let himself wander into his most precious memories. He remembered the taste of her lips, the smell of her perfume and the touch of her skin. Every detail engraved in his head forever.

“Did you know her ?” The person asked.

“Yeah”

The man stopped what he was doing and observed the former assassin for a solid minute. He looked heartbroken.

“Bad memories ?” He inquired.

“Not in this room” Bucky sadly smiled.

“What happened ?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Steve”

The Captain hesitated for a moment but didn’t push. He was aware his friend was still healing and whatever the place was, it was part of his pain.

“Is she dead ?” He only questioned.

He gulped and tilted his head backward to keep the tears at bay. “They took her away from me” His voice cracked when he spoke. He was not able to stop the violent sob that escaped his mouth. He wanted to say so much more but the lump in his throat was far too heavy.

“I was too late,” He whispered. “I promised I’d come back for her but I was … too …”

His shoulders started to shake as tears ran down his bloodshot eyes. Steve rapidly closed the distance between them and hugged his friend, letting him express his sadness. They stayed there until he was calm enough to take a deep breath.

“You ready ?” The Captain inquired.

The broken soldier silently nodded.

“Where to now ?” Steve asked him. “You’re free to go anywhere you'd like”

“Greece. I have a date in Greece”

Taglist below the cut

@partypoisonsblog - @tylard-blog1

[crimeronan]

Ok so I’m into the dreamer trilogy and haven’t read the Raven cycle...what is Declan’s characterisation/journey there?

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ASK I’VE EVER RECEIVED. IMAGINE I’M STANDING WITH MY ARMS SPREAD USING DIFFERENT VOICES AND HAND GESTURES TO REENACT THIS STORY FOR A RESENTFUL CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

also declan’s TRC storyline is like. equal parts horribly fucking sad and unbelievably fucking hilarious so. i will try to strike a Balance

FIRST OFF.  there is exactly one (1) declan POV chapter in the entire series. it happens toward the end of the last book. up until then, everything we know about him comes from the observations and narration of others.

he is also a very minor character.  his importance grows throughout the series, but almost all of his actions happen offscreen.  it’s not until the last book that we know exactly how much he’s been dealing with the whole time.

when he’s introduced in the first book, he appears as a plot device.  here is a two-dimensional horrible controlling hardass who doesn’t give a shit about anything but his future political career.  look at his fake, smug fucking grin.  how did someone like ronan end up with a brother like him??  doesn’t matter.  it’s a convenient excuse for ronan to live with his best friend in a drafty warehouse, which means more room for YA hijinks!

declan’s introduction scene is Embroiled in Capital-D Douchebaggery. according to the narration (from gansey and adam), he loves to fuck women and then never call them back, cozy up to powerful people, and bitch about how ronan’s ruining his life by being sad about their dead parents.  SOME people can just get over their dead parents, ronan!

this intro scene is also Extremely Funny i 100% recommend reading it even if u don’t read the actual series.  ronan makes a nasty comment, declan goes “why are you the way that you are” and tries to salvage his date, gansey utters the phrase “man whore”

then later that night things go like. actually bad.

declan shows up at the same pizza place where ronan is with his friends.  this scene is gansey pov.  gansey runs out to the parking lot to find the two of them Very Literally Trying To Kill Each Other.  you don’t see that violence in cdth - there’s only the TINIEST shadow of it when declan confronts ronan over matthew - so i Cannot Express Enough that someone is going to end up hospitalized at BEST. ronan’s already slammed declan’s head on the car, declan’s already grabbed ronan and beaten the shit out of his face, like.

you do not get good old-fashioned Declan Lynch At His Actual Worst in cdth. u might be thinking, THAT guy???? doing THIS????

oh yeah. things are real bad between declan and ronan.

after gansey breaks up the fight (and gets punched in the face for his trouble, albeit accidentally), declan tells ronan that their dad would be fucking ashamed to see him now & that he’s washing his hands of it & basically if ronan wants to go off and fucking die, he can.

this is like. just a couple months after the magical suicide attempt referenced in cdth

in the aftermath of that scene it becomes clear that ronan absolutely unequivocally 100% will kill himself if he has to live with declan. hence. why he’s living with gansey instead.  gansey spends that whole night petrified that the declan altercation will lead to another attempt, and for Good Reason

so like, that’s how we first meet declan. he’s an uncaring wannabe corporate asshole who does not give a fuck and who only exists to exacerbate ronan’s mental health issues.

but then the opening of book 2 gets real interesting.

book 2 is where we start learning more about the lynch family.  we learn that ronan’s father was a dreamer who sold his creations on the black market, we learn that that’s why he was murdered. we learn that ronan’s a dreamer too. we learn that there are very powerful people looking for the greywaren, an artifact that takes objects from dreams. those powerful people just don’t realize it’s a person, yet.

so here’s the assassin who killed niall lynch.

he goes to declan’s dorm.

with everything we know about declan, the kid should be completely unprepared.  he can box, but the assassin knows that, so there’s no real advantage.  he’s alone, and he doesn’t have an escape route.

declan pulls out a gun.

this is an unexpected turn of events.

unfortunately he ends up getting beaten half to death with the butt of said gun, because he loses the ensuing physical struggle for the weapon.  the assassin is like, i need the greywaren.  declan is like, i know it exists but i don’t know what it is.  i’ll find it for you.  i’ll get it to you.  then you’ll leave me the fuck alone

now with everything we know of declan at this point - his attitude toward ronan, his general demeanor, and this new knowledge that he knew about the black market - there’s one obvious question.

will declan sell ronan out if he finds out about the dreaming.

and like, okay. their relationship is antagonistic in cdth but it is NOT what it is in trc. believe me when i tell you that at that point, when you’re reading, you can pretty reasonably go, “oh, god.  oh god.  oh god please no one ever tell declan what the greywaren is.  oh god.”

declan has some other interactions with ronan and the gang throughout the book, mostly where he’s just a hardass who tells ronan to stop causing trouble.  adam’s the only one who notices that declan is scared.  like bone-deep shaking to the core petrified.  about Something.

probably getting beaten to within an inch of his life by the man who murdered his father.  that’s the reasonable reader conclusion.

so imagine how everything changes when you find out that declan already knows.  that declan’s known about ronan’s dreaming for longer than ronan has.  that declan knew exactly what and who the greywaren was, and he lied to a man who was ready to torture him for information, and he got away with it.

suddenly a lot of things recontextualize.

“keep your head down and stop making trouble”? people are gonna NOTICE your magic bullshit, ronan, we do not have time for this!

“stop hanging with that loser druggie friend of yours”? you mean the loser druggie friend who sells on the magic black market and doesn’t care about protecting himself or anyone else?

“i got super weird for no reason about ronan sleeping close to adam”? i don’t have fucking TIME to be homophobic i’m busy with your POTENTIAL TO MANIFEST NIGHT TERRORS IN FRONT OF WITNESSES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

“i’ll find out what the greywaren is and bring it to you”? i’ll die. i’m making a bargain to die. i’m never giving you the greywaren and i know you’re going to kill me about it and that’s fine as long as my brothers are safe

ronan doesn’t know that he dreamed matthew.  declan knows.  he’s known the whole time.  declan tells ronan in book 3.  and then things recontextualize even further, because ronan’s death is also matthew’s, and matthew IS close to declan in trc.

but declan never tells the goddamn truth unless it’s his last option.  he doesn’t tell ronan that he knows about the dreaming and he doesn’t tell ronan what specifically wants to hurt him and the lack of communication fucking destroys both of them.

in the last book, ronan realizes declan loves him.

more than that, he realizes declan’s loved him the whole time.

this is when declan finally tells the truth.  things are getting bad, plot-wise, and declan is scared, so he comes clean.  he tells ronan that niall specifically tasked declan with protecting ronan from the market.  he begs ronan to run from the danger.  “let’s pour gasoline on everything dad left and start over.”

this is also when ronan realizes that declan’s childhood was very different from ronan’s own.  and that niall and aurora lynch were not the same people to declan that they were to ronan.  and that their father’s decisions are what’s driven the wedge between him and declan all this time

(he’s still struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this in cdth. i don’t think he knows how to adjust his perception of declan to fit this new information.)

aaaaand the final scene with declan makes me cry every time i read it so instead of summarizing, here’s the important part:

Ronan delivered a sharp tap to the object, and a small cloud of fiery orbs sprayed up with a sparkling hiss.

“Jesus, Ronan!” Declan jerked his chin away.

“Please. Did you think I’d blow your face off?”

He demonstrated it again, that quick tap, that burst of brilliant orbs. He tipped it into Declan’s hand, and before Declan could say anything, jabbed it to activate it once more.

Orbs gasped up into the air. For a moment, he saw how his brother was caught inside them, watching them soar furiously around his face, each gold sun firing gold and white, and when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

“Declan?” Ronan asked.

Declan’s face cleared. “This is the most useful thing you’ve ever dreamt. You should name it.”

“I have. ORBMASTER. All caps.”

“Technically you’re the orbmaster though, right? And that’s just an orb.”

“Anyone who holds it becomes an ORBMASTER. You’re an ORBMASTER right now. There, keep it, put it in your pocket. D.C. ORBMASTER.”

Declan reached out and scuffed Ronan’s shaved head. “You’re such a little asshole.”

The last time they’d stood on this roof together, their parents had both been alive, and the cattle in these fields had been slowly grazing, and the world had been a smaller place. That time was gone, but for once, it was all right.

The brothers both looked back over the place that had made them, and then they climbed down from the roof together.

[venusararara]

🎪👕👽✨️🔥 for Gatherine :)<3

POV: Gatherine is your gf/guard dog

Let's get cookin'

🎪 How fun would it be to spend a day with them?

8/10

Gatherine is always getting into some bullshit. You could very likely die if you spent a day with her if she were working, since some mortals have blasters. Angels also have swords, and omioso can be very ferocious when they're cornered by Gatherine. Many hazards which could kill you.

On a day where she's free to do whatever she likes, she's usually trying her best to be a good samaritan. You'd be stuck with her, cleaning weapons, trying to rehabilitate fucked up mortals and angels, and going grocery shopping with her for Benny. You would also probably meet Stacy, since Gatherine calls her so much on the teleorb. She'd hold your hand while you walk around so no one could try to grab you and run, because she doesn't want you to get trafficked. You'd try mortal meat for the first time. It would make you vomit, and she'd laugh at you before she began nursing you back to health. She would let you crash in the common room overnight, and Bresklyn would come home and beat your skull in with a lamp, swiftly killing you in your sleep. Maybe because she mistook you for an intruder, or maybe because she saw Gatherine plant a kiss on your forehead. She's not normally like that, I guess you just bring out the worst in her.

👕 Fashion sense?

4/10

She likes clothes that are warm and comfortable, but functional. Everything is minimalist. She's not super fashionable, but neither is anybody else on her planet. She won't put on anything gaudy or covered in patterns, or jewelry.

Infernum is a good 30-40° F hotter than the surface world, so it's really cold for her. Most of the clothes on Tantibus are hand-me-downs from decades prior, because mortals and demons mostly just need to have something to cover their naked bodies.

👽 Would they be a good person creature for aliens to meet first? [Bonus: what impression would aliens have about humanity/their species based on them?]

5/10

No, she's a bad influence. If Gatherine weren't on a bender, they'd think she's extremely passive and no threat at all. Tantibusians aren't necessarily dangerous, but have the capacity to be inappropriately violent. If they met Gatherine on a bender, they'd likely destroy the planet. It would be too dangerous for other planets to leave Tantibus populated if every creature were as dangerous as a demon on a bender, even if it wouldn't be true.

✨️ Do they use/believe in magic?

10/10

Yeah, begrudgingly. "Magic" is the only explanation for creatures in the forest like audries. Teleorbs, their communication devices, are magic, since they use lightning magic to make the connection between the surface or Infernum to Valhallia. Magic is decently disliked by mortals, but is used occasionally in Infernum. It's used a lot for medicine like bender-blockers.

🔥 And obviously how hot are they, in your opinion and/or the opinions of other characters?

9/10

I think she's kinda cool.

Anyway, the hotness of Gatherine depends who's sniffin her. She's got wicked pheromones that start coming off of her a few hours after she showers. They're unable to be covered up, but its this lavender-y, iron-y sort of smell. The iron smell is normal, but the lavender is from living with mortals. It turns mortals and angels on, and even other demons. Every full demon has pheromones, though. Gatherine is in a situation where she's around more mortals, who are the most in love with demon stench. They also like having a big, strong creature to protect them, so she's super hot to some mortals. Same for angels, they love big, tough demons, because some wish they were demons themselves. The lavender smell also makes her seem less dangerous.

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

We Not I

I put two requestes together

For the anon who asked for : a soft valentine’s day date w remus!

And for the anon who asked : can you write about like soft remus. like him being super gentle after a hard day or wanting you to love on him yk?

 Remus Lupin x Reader

Full moons were the most stressful times of the year, and you cursed the lunar calendar- why did they have to come monthly? You’d known about Remus’s furry little problem for a few years now, figuring it out on your own when you put two and two together. He was sick the same time every month, the scars, Merlin, even his nickname gave it away. Not that you cared. Well of course you cared, just not for the reasons Remus was worried you’d care. You cared about him, about the pain he felt and the isolation you’re sure he feared. You could care less that he was plagued with a terrible sickness. 

That’s what made Remus fall for you- you were the only girl who knew about his condition and you couldn’t care less. You had treated him the same, never once letting it affect your friendship. He was thankful for you everyday. And you loved him back, you’d always harbored a little crush on him- he was cute and smart and kind and funny. But now you loved him with your entire heart, and he loved you. 

You hated not being able to be with him during the full moon, but you knew he was safe with Sirius, James, and Peter, you knew they would never let anything happen to your boyfriend. And you were always there the next day with him in the hospital wing to nurse him back to health. That’s where you were on your way to right now, a big box of chocolate in hand. It was Valentine’s Day afterall. 

When you got to the hospital wing you let yourself in quietly, smiling to yourself as you saw Remus in his usual bed, surrounded by his mates. They were playing some card game, and while you could tell he was tired and sore- he was smiling. When he looked up and saw you his smile widened and you returned it, coming towards him. 

“Hello boys,” You greeted, getting back a chorus of heys. James moved from the edge of the bed to one of the chairs so that you could replace him, sitting next to your boyfriend, placing the chocolates on his lap. 

“Oh, thank you, Y/N.” He looked up at you surprised, “You didn’t have to get me chocolates.” You shrugged, pulling your knees up to your chest as you sat beside him. 

“Of course I did, it’s your favorite.” Remus smiled, placing his hand over yours and squeezing. James elbowed Sirius and the two shared a look before Sirius nudged Peter nodding towards the door. Remus looked at them thankfully as the boys got up and said their goodbyes. You waved at them, waiting until you were alone before pulling shut the curtain around Remus’s bed. 

“What was that about?” You asked, raising a brow at the boy as you climbed back into bed. Remus wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him, and you snuggled up to his side in the small hospital bed. 

“They knew I wanted some alone time,” He answered honestly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you smiled and nuzzled your nose against his before planting a kiss on the tip of his nose. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.” You murmured, cupping his cheek with your hand, rubbing your thumb gently over the small cut that was there. 

“I’m sorry we can’t do anything special for it,” Remus sighed, leaning into your touch, “I wish I could've done something special for you, you deserve it.” You shook your head hushing him gently. 

“Just being with you is special,” You promised, “I will lay in a hospital bed with you all day anyday, as long as you’re okay.” Remus laid back against his pillows and you went with him, smiling softly, resting your head on his shoulder. You took his hand in yours and played with his fingers, bringing his hand up to your mouth, kissing his bruised knuckles. Remus nuzzled his face into your hair. He took in a deep breath, breathing in your scent. Nothing made Remus feel better than the smell of you and the touch of your skin. 

You laid in bed cuddling for sometime before Madam Pomfrey came, pulling the curtain back and coming in. 

“Oh, Y/N, I didn’t see you come in,” You pulled back slightly from Remus and smiled at her. 

“Hello Poppy,” You greeted, she smiled back and placed a few viles on Remus’s bedside table. 

“Drink these and then you can go, I don’t want you running about the castle though, you’re to go straight to bed.” You smiled once more before leaving to go off to check on another student. You rubbed Remus’s back gently as he choked down the vile tasting potions, gaging slightly as he did. 

“You’ve got it, love, good job.” You whispered words of affirmation to him as he did it, and that helped him. The other thing that helped him choke them down was the idea of being back in his own bed, with you by his side. Once he was done you helped him shrug on his jumper and pulled the curtain shut as he changed from his pajama bottoms into a pair of trousers. Once he was dressed you offered him your hand and led him back through the castle and up the stairs of Gryffindor tower. 

“Will you come lay with me, please?” He asked, giving you his best puppy dog eyes, you chuckled, squeezing his hand. 

“You don’t even have to ask, love.” You promised him, allowing him to gently guide you up to his dorm room. The other Marauders were nowhere to be seen, which you were secretly grateful for, you wanted some alone time with your love on Valentine’s Day. Remus changed into a clean pair of pajamas and pulled the covers back, sitting on the edge of his bed. You came and stood in front of him, wrapping your arms around him, letting him rest his head against your stomach. 

“I love you,” He murmured into your jumper and you smiled, running your hand through his hair. 

“I love you too,” He pulled back slightly and you could tell he wanted to say something more, so you gently placed a finger under his chin, making him look at you, “What’s up?” He blinked a few times before smiling sheepishly. 

“Will you be the big spoon?” He asked hopefully and you smiled tenderly down at him, nodding your head.

“Of course, baby.” You assured him, nudging him towards the bed. Remus layed down and scooted over to give you room to climb in behind him. You curled up around him, one arm going under his head to use as a pillow, and you wrapped the other arm around his middle. He tangled his legs with yours and held the hand that was resting on his middle. You snuggled up to him, kissing the back of his neck a few times before nuzzling into it. 

“How do you feel?” You asked gently, your lips grazing the back of his neck when you talked, he shivered slightly and held your hand tighter, making you smirk softly. 

“Much better now that you’re here. Last night was okay, not the worst.” He assured you, and you nodded your head, pressing a few gentle kisses on his neck and shoulder. 

“I wish I could be there with you,” He squeezed your hand, shaking his head. 

“We’ve had this conversation and the answer is still, and will always be no.” 

“Remus-” You whined slightly but you were cut off when he turned his head to look at you, shaking it wildly. 

“No. Y/N, no. For one, I don’t want you to ever see me like that. Ever. For two, I am never allowing myself to put you in danger. I cannot control myself when I am like that. And if something bad were to happen to you... I’d,,, I’d simply not be able to live with myself.” You smiled at him sadly and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his lips, which he returned. When you pulled back your rested your head against his, closing your eyes. 

“What will you do once we’ve left Hogwarts? You can’t keep me away for forever, you’re going to have to let me help you.” You whispered and he shook his head turning away from you, resting his head back on your arm, continuing to hold your hand. 

“I will figure that out when I get there.” 

“I? What about we?” You whispered and he let out a small sigh, “Remus, you don’t have to do this alone, I love you. I will love you no matter what.” He lifted your entwined hands to his lips and kissed it a few times, before resting it on his chest over his heart. 

“I can’t ask that of you,” He whispered back, you kissed his neck again a few times, and squeezed his hand tightly. 

“You’re not asking, I am telling you. I will do anything for you, anything.” Remus turned in the bed fully, switching to lay on his other side as he pulled you into his chest, retangling your legs. He wrapped both arms tightly around you and kissed your forehead before kissing your nose, and then your lips. 

“I don’t deserve you,” He sighed and you shook your head, kissing him again. 

“Yes you do,  you deserve everything, all the love I can possibly give you. Let me give it to you.” He nodded slightly and looked deeply into your eyes. 

“Not until after we’ve graduated, I can’t allow you to break the law and illegally become an animagus for me, I can’t let you risk that. But... Once we’ve graduated we can talk about it, okay?” 

“Okay,” You nodded and leaned in kissing him again deeply, hoping that you could put even half the love you felt into that kiss, whispering for Remus to understand. You weren’t going anywhere. Ever. He was yours and you were his.

[lene-loki]

Never Too Close

Summary: After the events of Avengers: Endgame, (Y/N) Romanoff is mourning the death of her sister Natasha. She is unexpectedly finding comfort in the presence of someone who shares the pain of losing the people he loved.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff!Sister Reader

Warnings: Character Death, Spoiler for Avengers: Endgame, Angst, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts

Word Count: 2264 Words

A/N: I hope ya’ll liked this Imagine. Please let me know if you want to get tagged on future Imagines or Series that I want to write. This isn’t proofread and please excuse grammaticaly and verbal mistakes since English isn’t my mother tongue. And now please enjoy!! With Love, Léne xx

(Y/N) = Your Name

The pouring of the rain sounds like a faint whisper in the distance. When I close my eyes and listen precisely to the rustle I can almost hear the voice I long to hear. I open my eyes when the wind starts to blow into my ear, making my whole body shiver. A raindrop lands directly on top of my cheekbone and gets mixed up with a teardrop that escapes my eye. The wet droplet almost feels like a passing kiss. As if she is standing right beside me and kisses my tears away or maybe she cries from heaven herself and her tears end up on my face. I like to think that she watches me from above. Seeing my every move. Despite the rain a familiar warmth is spreading through my heart, making me feel safe and not alone anymore. My eyes blink the tears away, trying to focus on the words that are written on the wooden cross in front of me. The fact that her death is still so recent that she has to wait for a stone to mark her grave, makes me sob. I have looked so many times at that wooden cross that I started to hate it. She deserves a beautiful, carved stone. Not a dirty, broken cross where her name already starts to fade. But she has to wait. Her coffin isn’t set enough to put a heavy stone on top of the earth. I wipe the back of my hand over my tearstained cheeks before I kneel down in front of the grave. Everyday I bring a new kind of flowers by. Making the earth dissapear in a vibrant, little garden. It helps my own mental health to transform the place of grief into a little paradise for her. And I hope this is exactly where she’s at now. In a paradise. My eyes tear away from the flowers before I start counting them again like I always do. Because the number of the flowers is the number of the days since she passed away. My chest hurts, my heart starts to crumble inside when I once again think about the empty coffin under the ground. My sisters body dissapeard when she sacrificed herself to get the Soul Stone. Now all that remained of her is the memory.

Although it’s past midnight when I leave the graveyard I can’t help but to ring Clint out of his sleep - as well as his wife and his children probably. He picks up the phone with a yawn, his voice raspy from his deep sleep. He is the closest I have to family now and he knows. He always cared for me and Natasha and now that she’s gone he’s supporting me more than ever. Giving me a shoulder to cry on no matter how late it is. That is exactly whe he’s never annoyed when I call him at times like this. My loneliness leads the conversation as I tell him that I don’t know where to go. “Where are you right now, (Y/N)?” I shrug my shoulders even though he can’t see. “I think I’m near the Avengers compound.” My voice is barely louder than a whisper. My throats stil sore from my hour long crying at Natashas grave. “I can pick you up. You can stay at mines if you want.” He suggests and I can hear him fumbling with the bedsheets in the background. Ever since Natashas passing, I stayed at the Avengers compound in her former room. But sometimes it gets too much being surrounded by her memories and her whole life in just that little space. Everything in her room reminds me of her scent, her smile, her voice, the look in her eyes - especially that tiny twinkle in her iris that always appeared when she felt extremely proud of me. I have to pull myself together to not sob again and alarm Clint even more. As much as I want to escape from the compound for a little while, I don’t want to wear out Clints care for me. I feel like I already asked too much of him. “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I woke you.” I swallow the lump down in my throat in hopes he doesn’t hear how near I am to losing it all again. He sighs at the other end. “You’re sure?” “Yes.”   “Okay, love. Don’t apologize for calling me.” His voice sounds so soft I could fall asleep immediately on the side of the road. He just has this soothing affect on me. I hang up after telling him that I love him and walk in the dim lights of the streetlamps to the compound.

Inside the building everything is pitch dark. The only light comes from Wandas room. It’s red and spreads in chaotic rays around the space of her own four walls. She surely is training her magic since she still hasn’t full control over her powers what burdened her more than usually the last couple of days. I decide not to disturb the Scarlet Witch and seek refuge in Natashas room. I really try to sleep but since Thanos happened my nights are as restless as my hurting heart. I’m still wide awake physically but dangerously exhausted mentally when I hear voices in the early morning hours in the kitchen. Wandas voice makes me wonder if she’s been awake the whole night as well. I leave the room in my short pyjama shorts and my plain white T-Shirt. I wouldn’t fall asleep anyway so I might as well just get up and start another day of inner misery. I round the corner to the kitchen island where Pepper placed a large bowl of exotic fruits on top. The blonde showed me a sad smile since she’s lost in her own grief. Pepper disappears out of the kitchen - leaving me alone with Wanda and a familiar brunette man which I recognize from Tony’s funeral. I can’t remeber his name but I recall the pained expression on his face and the devastated haze over his pupils. He seems like he always looks like pure misery. “Good morning.” I greet them both shyly since they haven’t notice me yet. Wanda immediately sends a heartful smile in my direction while the stranger’s corners of his mouth just twitch the slightest bit upward - almost to tiny to notice. I also perceive his new hairstyle. The last time I saw him he had messy, long waves. Longer than shoulder length and a full beard. Now he has his hair cut short and looking neat with his jawline covered in dark stubbles instead of the fullgrown beard. “Bucky, this is (Y/N). She is Natashas’ sister.” Wanda explains him in her thick, sokovian accent since he developed the same look of recognition on his face as me. Now the puzzle pieces click together. That is Bucky Barnes. Steves’ best friend and the other Super Soldier. His facial features unravel in realization. “Oh, right. Hello, (Y/N). Nice to meet you again and I’m... Sorry about your loss.” He frowns at the last part. “Thank you, it’s nice to see you again in less sorrowful circumstances.” I try to lighten up the mood a bit because I don’t want to start my day already with a bad encounter that reminds me once again how miserable I am inside. Unsure if we should shake hands, Bucky’s metal arm jerks briefly in my direction but he instantly lets it sink again - wrapping the room in an uncomfortable silence. “Well it was nice to see you again. I got to go now.” I excuse myself from the weird situation and leave without breakfast to go to my Natasha’s room. I still feel uncomfortable calling it my room since it was Natsha’s place to live for so many years. I didn’t completely lie to Bucky and Wanda since it’s a new day and time to pick up new flowers for my sisters grave. I change into comfy short, cotton pants and an old, blue pullover from Natashas wardrobe before I leave the compound.

I take a cab to the same  flower shop I visit everyday. Where even the owner knows me by name already. Today marks exactly thirty days since Natasha died. A whole month without my older sister by my side. I ordered a special type of flower for this occasion. A bouqet of beautiful Royal Azaleas - the most precious flowers of our native country Russia. As beautiful as Natasha and I like how it brings a bit of our home to her - making her little paradise even more exotic. At the graveyard I am so consumed in my own thoughts to where I’m going to place the Royal Azaleas on the ground in front of the wooden cross, that I don’t notice right away the broad figure a few feet away from me. He’s standing upset in his posture  and bent a little forward above a grave. It’s the back of his head - his freshly done hair and the colour of his shirt that gives him away and I realise that it’s Bucky. I decide against it to walk up to him since he’s mourning in his own world as well and obviously needs his space. My eyes tear away from the picture of the broken man in front of me and I finally walk straight up to Natashas grave. I crouch slightly to put my bag on the ground. I brought a little shovel to set the new flowers into the earth directly in front of the cross - making the Azaleas stand out from the rest. It is when I walk over to the well a few feet away from me to pick up the watering can, that Bucky notices he’s not alone. The can is filled to the brink and quite heavy in my hand as I carry it to Natashas grave, losing waterdrops on my way there. I silently water the flowers - careful not to drown them in the lack of strength I have in my hand that is holding the water can. The whole time I can feel his stare on me and I can almost feel his inner battle if he should come up to me or not. A few moments later he starts nervously walking up to me while I clean the little shovel to stow it away in my bag. “Do you still the need the watering can?” He asks hoarsely as he comes to a halt beside my bend over figure - blocking the sun out of my view which throws a few rays on the water droplets. Making them sparkle inbetween the flowers of Natashas floral paradise. “No.” I smile softly at him and stand up again. He returns my friendly grin and takes the water can but doesn’t leave straight away. He hesitates a second unsure of if he should leave me alone again, but somehow I long for company - not wanting to speak with the wind again and hallucinate about Natashas voice. “I lost everyone. Natasha was the only one left of my family. Although Clint supports the weight of my grief to make me feel like I’m not alone I still feel like it. I always felt like I’m alone in this world and deep down I don’t feel like I belong to the Avengers either. It was Natashas community. Not mine.” My eyes start to sting with upcoming tears while I open up to Bucky. I don’t really know why I do this. I guess I never felt so out of place and so lonely like I did in the past days and it scares me. Bucky clears his throat, his glance burning holes into my soul as he watches every slightest movement of my facial expressions. “I went through losing the people I love so many times that I lost count of it.” He blinks the tears away which threatens to fall from his eyes. “After Steve left to live the life with Peggy he always dramed to have, I officially got left alone. Steve was so much more than my friend. He was my brother.” He sniffs. “And now I’m searching for a sign - just something that keeps me in this life.” I let my tears run freely as I identify his words as my own feelings. And I realise that we are two souls hurting from the same experiences building a connection to one another through the desperation of having lost any strength to keep living. “Without wanting to get too close to you, I think you just as broken inside as me.” He speaks up. His eyes are swollen and red, still glossy from fresh tears which haven’t stopped being reproduced and leaking out of the corner of his eyes. I strangely feel comfort in the detail that his blue pullover matches mine. My heart starts to pick up a pace as I cross a vulnerable line between us and say: “I think you can never be too close to someone. I’m sure closeness is what we both need the most now.” I gift him a teary smile which he returns with a faint tint of red across his cheeks. Our encounter feels like a big step for the both of us - coming out of our shells we’ve been hiding in like anxious snails and I could feel it in the beating behind my ripcage that it was towards the right direction.

[haikyuuishete]

Black Jackals has a crush on you|| Headcanon special

Author note: I would like to say thank you to everyone because I have my first 100 followers and I’m very happy that people like my writing (つ﹏⊂) so I introduce you the time skip haikyuu

MAYJOR spoiler to the people who hasn’t read the manga but if those who want to read the manga for free please let me know and I’ll send the link where to read it! Because haikyuu has been postponed because of the virus and most people are egar to watch it so maybe reading the manga might help!

Sooooo thank you to everyone!

You were their manager that worked for them, you brought them food, updated their schedules and even made sure they were in good health and even made sure they were always healthy and have a strong mental state

At first everyone liked you as a friend, Sakusa was distant but treated you like you were apart of the team

It took a while for them to have feelings for you

Shugo came into practice really late because he overslept and apologized to everyone, he didn’t eat at all and didn’t even eat breakfast

You immediately noticed because you heard his stomach grumbling

You had spare time on your hands, you rushed to the nearest store to get him some food

After everyone left to the lockers you stopped him, “you should eat Shugo or you’ll get sick” you were quite small in front of him, ruffling your hair “thank you y/n come I’ll share” “oh you don’t have to-“ “it’s fine come” pulling you to the corner of the gym you two joked around while eating, that sparked something between you well at least to him

Adriah had a hard time pronouncing some words which was understandable, you were there to help because the rest of the team kept teasing him non stop

“Leave poor Adriah alone” you warned the rest then began to tease “what are you gonna do shorty pants?” Atsumu teases, “oh I’ll show you!” You grab a metal spoon “come here Atsumu” you started to chase him with a spoon while he started to laugh like a maniac

After practice Adriah walks up to you, “can you help me practice a bit more and help me with pronouncing?” He asked you, of course you helped him out.

He came by to your apartment and helped him a bit which took a long time but you never minded and even made him dinner

He enjoyed your company quite a lot, he felt kinda connected to you, every night he would come over to have dinner with you

Shion was very calm and collected one, nothing really bothered him unless it was Bokuto’s and Atsumu’s pranks on him, but this is a different case, a interviewer bothered him with his question “why couldn’t you get the ball it was in front of you? That’s not very professional” bothered him the whole day and the team couldn’t cheer him up, he didn’t want to talk to anyone

You got worried, you sat next to him “you know Shion that interviewer is well known to embarrass and even ridicule athletes” you pointed out, “to me the ball was too fast to catch and I know you were analyzing it” passing him a bottle of water, “Don’t let that guy get into your head okay Shion to me you’re an amazing libero” He softens a bit, “Thank you” he rested his head on your shoulder smiling to himself

Bokuto was a piece of work and can get too excited at times but he’s so kind, whenever Atsumu tossed to him it always turned to him over working himself trying to hit the ball full force reddening his hand to deep red and he even worked out only lead his hand to hurt whenever he touched something

You always brought ice packs, “you should be careful!” You scolded him softly holding his hand on your lap as you rest the ice pack on his palm, “I’ll be careful I promise” he whispers pouting a bit not sure if you’re mad at him, at times he can get you super worried, one time Sakusa spiked the ball at his face causing his nose to bleed

“Stay still Kou!” You push his head up trying to stop the bleeding but Bokuto wanted to go back to practice, “you can’t play like this, stop moving!” You playfully hit his shoulder “owww y/n why would you hit meeee!” He’d tease causing you to laugh out loud, he didn’t know why but hearing you laugh always made his day better “your smile is pretty” “thanks Kou” you smile

Atsumu is a pain in the ass, he literally teases and even bicker with you over the littlest things, “SO YOURE TELLING ME THAT MY BROTHER IS WAY HOTTER THAN I AM?!” “Tsumu you two are TWINS you guys look the same!” “ANJEDBBE”

He would always flirt with you non stop which you always brushed it off knowing he’s teasing you

In reality he likes the little reactions he gets from you it’s adorable, he thinks about you all the time, he always had a crush on you

Sakusa got on his nerves once and Atsumu flipped him off and walked off like a pro, which shocked everyone because usually he would say something back

You of course follow him, “Atsumu!” You gently called him over to you, “Sakusa is a meanie” Atsumu laughs at your cuteness, “I know” he pulls you in a hug

He didn’t know how but his anger was all gone just with a single hug form you

“Let’s go eat” “yes!”

Sakusa wasn’t any trouble to handle, whenever you hand him a towel he always smells it , you use his detergent because he’s very strict about it

Every place he goes to, you make sure it’s spotless and sometimes chip in to help clean knowing him he would complain

You always have extra masks for him, extra cleaning wipes

He notices your efforts which he appreciates a lot, sometimes he brings some food for you

“Omi you don’t have to do that” you smiled taking the bag out of his hand, “no you deserve it, you really make an effort for me so thank you”

It brought you two together, he really cares for you and always worry about you at all time, you just make him happy in way he can’t explain

So stand next to him and he will be a content omi

The youngest out of the team Hinata Shoyo, he’s a ball of sunshine and you love being next to him

But unfortunately he doesn’t do good with alcohol at all

The team was celebrating for winning a match everyone was drinking unfortunately Sakusa went home early cause he thinks it’s gross (but you weren’t gross to him)

Hinata was so drunk very drunk and you helped him walk home, Shugo wanted to help because it wasn’t safe for a drunk man to walk with beautiful woman (Shugo hated that you took him home)

Coach stopped him saying he has to take Bokuto and Atsumu home which made him sigh

Bokuto and Atsumu are very dangerous than Hinata

You got to Hinata’s apartment, he was all hazy “y/n I need to change I feel dirty!” “Hinata Wait don’t pass out!” You help him change by closing your eyes

You literally babied him the whole time, he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t look drunk because he’s talking causally to you

He told you about his high school days which made you stay a little longer because it was interesting

Hinata head was on your lap as he happily told you while you just brush your fingers through his soft locks

After that you had to go home and left him under blanket

The next morning you weren’t next him which made him sad but he was happy that you stayed next to him until he fell asleep

Then jealousy was oozing from each teammate, someone is flirting you

Atsumu and Bokuto shooed them off by one word “bye” with the scariest death glare but turned to you with puppy eyes “y/n let’s go eat!” They would push you to the nearest restaurant

Shugo is literally all over you, he teases you about your height but still a total sweetheart, he makes sure to help you carry heavy stuff, always grumbles at Adriah for helping you first

Since they are the oldest they always have this rivalry but not bad one a playfully one

“Y/n I can help you with that!” They said at the same time “oh too late I got it” Shion grabs the box out your hands walking out with you leaving a glaring older ones behind

Sakusa hated when Bokuto picked you up whenever he was happy it was even worse when Atsumu is just touching your hair

He won’t talk to you the whole day but it won’t last long

Adriah and you always have dinner together and even study (he’s getting better) he loves staring at you as you talked to him, he just adores it

Everyone hates when you baby Hinata, “Hina are you hurt??” “Yes” he pouts like everyone now knows Hinata is very dangerous with his cuteness and bubbly nature

“HINATA BOKE!” Atsumu explodes when he sees him hug you

Shinon stayed the night with you (no not that!) he slept over at your place

You two watched movies together and laid his head on your lap (he did that intentionally) you didn’t mind at all

You two laughed and enjoyed each other’s company as you played with his hair

Atsumu kidnapped you to have quality time with you which didn’t even work because his twin brother tagged along “I will choke you” glaring at his brother “what did you say?” “Nothing y/n!”

Shugo brought you to meet his parents “uhh finally Shugo brought a girl home! She’s quite beautiful!” His mom was all over you

You felt bad so you didn’t say anything to her, Shugo appreciated it but secretly wants you to be his girlfriend oop

Bokuto always makes you set for him while he practices solo which you didn’t really mind and always help and always made sure to bring ice packs for his hand

“Bokuto that’s enough let’s go home”

He liked the way you said that, “okay let’s go!” He drops the ball and grabs your hand dragging you out which made you burst out in laughter

To him your hand fits perfectly in his hand

Sakusa asked you if you wanted to go out to a museum with him which you gladly accepted god it was the best day ever

Museums never had crowds it was perfect, the way you were excited made him excited too, he was hesitant of holding your hand but manned up and did

At first you were surprised but he didn’t even look bothered even though he was panicking in the inside

You two had a pleasant day with each other, a day he will never forget

Atsumu and Sakusa would still bicker but once you come into the room they fight over who will talk to you first “excuse me boys!” Hinata bounces over to you “hey y/n want to go to Miyagi with me to visit?” He asks, you didn’t have the heart to tell him no so you accepted

Atsumu and Sakusa is heard to be grumbling to this day

You and Hinata had the best vacation together, a lot of people mistakenly you as his girlfriend, his little sister didn’t let you go at all and made Hinata jealous of her

Everyone got drunk one night at the hotel and Bokuto was sleeping in your bed, Shugo didn’t want you to stay in that hotel room (Bokuto is dangerous)

You stayed in Shugo’s room instead,he’s a gentleman and slept on the floor, but when you had a nightmare he was the one that calmed you down from it and hugged you all night......

They loved how you cheered for them during games which made them invincible

You would always cooked food for them after a tiring game and Sakusa would never miss it like ever; your food is heaven

It was Christmas and Adriah couldn’t go home because all the planes were booked which meant he was alone for this Christmas, which sadden you a lot “Adriah come celebrate with me!” You smile, he literally combusts and spends Christmas with you and sent it to the team group chat

Everyone sent the middle finger emoji while Adriah was having a blast

Atsumu helped you bake a cake for Shion’s birthday, it was a whole mess it was you sitting on the counter eating the left over icing as he jokes around, he was covered with flour so were you “you look dumb” “you look dumber” you stuck your tongue which made him roll his eyes but in the end of the day it was worth helping

You were sad because of a movie Bokuto was next to you, “don’t be sad y/n it’s just a movie” he pulls you into his chest, “but it’s sad!” “I know” he smile at your childish antics, holding you in his arms felt so right

Their feelings started to run deeper like they couldn’t function without you at their sides

Sakusa woke up because of a dirty dream featured you

He literally jumped out of bed and took a cold shower for 2 hours

During the long rides on the bus you would sit next to Shion and accidentally fell asleep on him which he didn’t mind

The guys glared at him but he ignored them and fell asleep too

Since you were so attractive that they had to have their guards up because every guy you pass will come flirt with you

Hinata got you out of a sticky situation from a guy that was on the opposite team

All them have feelings for you but they won’t confess as long they are sure you have the same feelings for them

And for the team they have a strong bond that won’t break them apart even if losing you was the cost then so be it as long you are happy

[odissey061]

Fandom: Bungo stray dogs

Parenting with(out) you [pt. 1]

Aka: What happens when Dark era!Dazai becomes father a month before Oda's death.

A few notes before you read:

- the reader had a childhood really similar to Dazai’s, this means that from a certain age she was “”””adopted””” by the boss of some task force and since then she works there.

- This story starts when both the reader and Dazai are eighteen years old, some times before Dazai leaves the Port Mafia. They are both adults and Dazai leaves the Port Mafia when he’s 19, so the event in the canon (when he’s in the ADA) happens when he is 23.

- It’s not really explicitly stated, but the reader is depressed just like Dazai.

You met Dazai when you were on an undercover mission in Yokohama and your duty was to find more information about a certain criminal association. Periodically, you referred your progress on the investigation to your partner, whom he spoke with the boss. Of course, you never told them that you were in love with the most dangerous executive director in the Port Mafia, Osamu Dazai

You knew each other thanks to Oda. You fell for him (and he fell for you) at first sight, recognizing in the other’s eyes the same feeling of lingering despair. It was sudden, but you didn’t suppress the blossoming love. In your mind it was fine, since you didn’t have to investigate the Port Mafia. You knew it was dangerous developing feelings during a mission and you also were aware of the crimes committed by the young executive director.

Dazai, on the other hand, didn’t know you were a spy. After a while you had started dating, he fully trusted you: how could he don’t when he recognized you as his soulmate? He read you like an open book and he knew you could do the same with him. Your souls were identical: affection starved and longing for someone who could totally understand you.

There were times in which he demanded your attention, like a dog that ask for being petted: he tried to gain your attention messing with you as you worked, until you kissed him. And other times he took you love forcefully, biting and marking your skin like a predator that marked his prey. The night you became pregnant was just like that. When he entered in your house, he immediately kissed you, not giving you the chance of greeting him. Neither of you spoke much that night. Probably something big happened during his last mission to make him so shaken.

Dazai felt the need to hold you so tight that you couldn't breathe and you let him. That night there wasn't any foreplay, nor dirty words or any preparation. He held your hands as he rammed mercilessly inside you like a madman. The pleasure ran in your veins as you asked Osamu to go slower -he had never been so rough with you before to the point to make your womanhood ache.

Oh, and you didn’t use protection. Osamu was even more aroused seeing his white semen flowing out of you, so he went on multiple times, not caring of the possible consequences. It was like the button of his rationality was switched off. He stopped as soon as he noticed that you passed out during your lovemaking. He recognized he went too far and he murmured apologises to your sleeping for as he cleaned you, promising that he was going to ask your forgiveness when you were awake. He snuggled to your body, clinging on you.

The chance of you becoming pregnant was really low, but it wasn’t impossible. You discovered you were pregnant when your menstruation didn’t come for the third month in a row. You were terrorized: nothing could prepare you for what was going to come. Neither you and your boyfriend conducted a normal life plus, you were also undercover.

What was the right thing to do? You knew how much Dazai tried to keep your relationship unknown to Mori, but a child? Hiding a kid was even more difficult, probably it wasn’t even possible. As you were going out of mind, your partner communicated to you that your boss was planning to betray the government.

There was the chance of disappearing from the radar during the mission and your partner helped you to carry on with your idea. Now you were a civilian. You still didn’t know what to do, if to keep the child or not. You had to talk with Dazai about this situation.

When Dazai discovered you were pregnant with his child, he froze. For the first time he sensed he was going to faint. The problems and the questions were too many and both of you were only 18 years old. You were too young and the situation was too big. The two of them thought about the solution for two months -when the miscarriage was no longer feasible.

With a talk with Oda he understood that there were two possibilities left: giving the child in adoption or trying to raise them. Dazai was scared: neither you or him had a normal childhood or a proper parent. For the whole pregnancy the executive director distanced himself for you: he needed time to think and he didn’t want you to be influenced by his thoughts since he knew your mental health was really important.

He asked Oda to take care of you in his place. Even if he was distant from you, he still cared about you: he called you three times in a week to know if you were fine and when you had to go to the doctor he went with you (he asked Oda if he was in a mission)

The doctor informed you that you could decide to give the child in adoption until a week after the birth. You decided to sustain whatever solution your boyfriend came up with.

Your waters broke when you were having a meal with Oda. Panic overwhelmed you as he carried you to the closest hospital. As the doctors took you away, he called Osamu saying that his child was going to be born. The executive director immediately left the reunion with Mori and his boss wondered what could make the ruthless Dazai so pale.

Osamu stayed outside the room with his friend, knowing that he would have fainted if he were with you. Oda was lowkey amused seeing his friend so nervous renowned his promise to help you both to raise your child. Hours later, the nurse gave him permission to enter in the room where you were resting. His nerves were torn apart: he spent ten hours not knowing if you were okay and if the operation was going smoothly. He knew that there was the possibility for you to die, even if the pregnancy was carried out without any problems, and he regretted the decision of not entering with you inside.

But as soon as he walked in, all his fears melted like snow in the sun: you were fine and you held in your arm a small bundle. The light of the rising sun at your back made you look like a celestial being to Osamu, who froze for a second at the entrance. You smiled at him, on the verge of tears, and told him to meet your daughter.

Dazai wondered if he could hold her with his hands stained with blood and you laughed, handing him the bundle. As soon as he held his daughter in his arms, you understood he fell in love for the second time. A tear rolled down his cheeks and he whispered:”She is so beautiful. She looks like you”. He had never felt so happy and for the first time he understood the value of being alive. He wanted to keep her, he decided it as soon as he saw her for the first time.

She started to cry and he impanicated, not knowing what to do. You held her close to your breast and she sucked the milk. “How can we name our daughter?” he asked in a sweet tone: seeing you feeding your daughter filled his heart with happiness and tenderness. In that moment you acknowledged two things: he wanted to keep the child and her name. You answered: “Keiko*. With the meaning of lucky child”. You hoped that that child could also bring happiness and luck to your new family. “It’s beautiful” he commented.

(Missing part) everyone to be sure none could report him. If you continued to live there, your daughter would have been in danger. So you did the only thing you could think of: escaping. You wrote a letter where you told the truth to Dazai and you left the Country.

When he read the sheet he felt betrayed: he understood why you didn’t tell him your true identity, but he wondered why you didn’t talk to him about the current situation you were in. He was one of the most powerful people in the Country, he could have protected you and your child! Only a week later Oda died and Dazai left the Mafia. It happened too fast for him.

When he joined the ADA, he talked with Fukuzawa about the single-parenting situation and the president understood him and asked him if one of his secretaries could work as a babysitter. Dazai accepted his offer.

Three year passed and no matter his efforts, he couldn’t find you. Of course, he knew that you were trained to cover your traces, but he didn’t suspect you were so good at hiding. There were days when he thought you were dead and in those days he lost the desire to tease Kunikida at work. None of his colleagues knew he was depressed, but his daughter inherited your ability to read him like a book, so she knew her father’s feelings. When he feel blue, Keiko runs toward him as soon as he enter in the house and she tries to cheer him up in every way she can. Dazai smiled with a hint of sadness. So young yet so perceptive, you’d be proud of our daughter.

Due to his new job, he couldn’t spend much time with her, but you can bet he spoiled her as much as he could: he bought for her everything she asked for. Clothes, shoes, games… he didn’t restrain himself at all. But he also taught her how to behave and some good principles.

Every free moment he had, he spent it with Keiko: during the weekend, he brought her to play in a park he’s super careful about not letting the boys come too close to her xd, every night he read her the story of the goodnight. He played with her whenever he could and often he works at home to stay with her Kunikida knows that he won’t work at all even if he doesn’t know the real reason (and he’s right). Above all Dazai is a playful parent, but he doesn’t miss the occasion to scold her when he has to.

Dazai knew that soon or later she would ask him where his mother was and why she wasn’t there, but he still wasn’t ready for her questions. The first time Keiko asked about you, he answered that you really loved her and that the month you spent together was the happiest moment of his life.

When she asked if he still loves her, Dazai told the truth: he still loved you and he could never love someone with the same intensity. Happy for the answer, Keiko hugged him saying:”I want mommy here, so we can be a happy family again”. He hugged her back, preferred not telling her that her mother could be dead or in love with another person. Never as in that moment she wished you were there with them.

They slept together that night and the morning after he went to the cemetery where Oda was. He asked him if he was a good parent and if he was doing enough to cover your absence.

The first time he heard about you, was a year later when a client came to the Agency asking for a detective who could help him to find you. The man showed the photo and Dazai affirmed he accepted the case (to Kunikida’s surprise since the man only showed a photo). Dazai understood the whole thing was fishy since the man claimed to be your father. He was excited that he finally had a clue about you.

He immersed himself in the case so seriously that Kunikida almost had a stroke. Keiko was a bit upset since her father worked at home too, not caring about her at all, but every complaint vanished when Dazai told her that maybe he could find her mother. In a couple of months he finally found you.

The Osamu you remembered is really different from the one who found you and you were really scared when he brought you to his home. You reminded all the fascicles about how he killed people when he was in the Port Mafia. You knew he hated you for what he did and you feared he was going to torture you or something similar, since he showed no sign of happiness or a gesture of affection. You couldn’t be more wrong! He only decided to have a small revenge for the lack of trust.

When you entered in the empty house (Dazai sent your daughter to the babysitter’s house for some days in order to have a serious chat with you) you sat at the table as Dazai took two bottles of wine. “Let’s have a chat” he said as he poured the alcohol in your glass. And the misunderstand happened: you mistook his seriousness as rage, that made you nervous and Dazai misunderstood your nervousness, thinking you didn’t love him anymore.

“I’m sorry for what I did …” then you stopped: how could you address him now? Osamu seemed too intimate for a fiancèe who left her lover for years, so you opted for his last name. Osamu frowned hearing his last name: he didn’t like the distance that the appellative created. During the past four years, he thought a lot about your relationship and he came with the solution he could have treated you better: he didn’t abuse you or something similar, but he betrayed your trust a lot of time and he flirted with a lot of women. In his eyes he treated you awfully and he was really sure you found a new boyfriend, much better than him.

Neither of you spoke much and you were always more convinced that you wouldn’t be able to leave that house the morning. Osamu talked:”Why didn’t you tell me you were in danger? I could protect you, both you and my daughter...”. He thought to call Keiko our daughter, but he changed idea and you were a bit upset by the adjective. Anyway, you didn’t have any right to protest: could you still call Keiko yours after you left her? He continued:”A week later your abandonment, Oda died during a mission and Ango revealed himself like the spy he was. I left the Port Mafia. My word was falling apart and I had also a newborn to take care of. And you were elsewhere, probably with someone else”.

You really felt guilty and tears rolled down your cheek. Dazai, who had covered his face as he was speaking, raised the head and watched you dumbfounded. The truth was that the implied blame in his speech, hurt you like a gunshot, and, accompanied by four years of feeling guilty, she cried. That was their worst fight, even if neither of them raised their voice. She sobbed, telling that she had been feeling a shit for the past few years, that there wasn’t a day without she thought about her family and that she completely understood his decision to consider Keiko his own daughter.

Osamu started to think rationally again and when he understood they were under an enormous misunderstanding, he chuckled, gently caressing her hair. “We are both dummies: I gave you the cold shoulder to have a small revenge of your lack of trust and you thought I hated you. You couldn’t be more wrong: I thought about you everyday too” and he embraced her. You cried even more after knowing that he still loved you.

He carried you in his bedroom and he kissed you until you stopped crying. The moment was so sweet and tender: he murmured sweet words of love and affection, peppering your face with butterflies and playful kisses. You started to undress him and he started to do the same with you. There were still many things to talk about, but for that night it was enough.

The lovemaking had never been so gentle: he did so many foreplays that you were already crying for the overstimulation, but Osamu wanted to be sure to not hurt you. Before proceeding, he wondered if you were fine and you nodded. He kissed every tear left as he told you how blissfully he felt to be in your life again.

The pace was so slow that you almost decided to ride him, but Dazai convinced you with a glare to accept this rhythm. Whimpers and whines left your mouth as he reminded you how sweet was be loved by him and he remembered how beautiful you were.

Even during the afterglow, he continued to coax your lips in a stream of kisses that saw the both of you so close that could not pass a breath of air between your bodies, but neither of you complained about it. After a long wild, when your brain was melted and your body boneless, you remembered that you still had not seen your daughter.

Dazai told you that she was sent to the babysitter for some days since you had to have a talk between yourself and deciding what you were going to do. He promised to let you see her the day after tomorrow since you had to talk about a lot of things as a couple.

He proposed you to come to work at the ADA since you had years of experience as a secret agent and you accepted. The day later he talked to Fukuzawa for your recruitment and when he proposed you an interview for today, he intervened saying it was too soon. Then he hung up: there were still less than twelve hours before you met Keiko and he intended to have you full attention focused only on him.

He took you in his arms and he brought you to your bedroom ;) one night wasn't enough to cover the years you spent apart

Notes:

A lot of things are left unsaid, like the identity of the man who asked for you at the ADA and how Dazai treated you as he worked in the Port Mafia, so if you want you can ask me to write a fic about these topics. Please, ask me. I have so many ideas and headcanon for this AU and Dark Era!Dazai.

In the next part, we'll see how the Agency + Chuuya react to a chibi version of Dazai👀. Be ready for the absolute chaos

[citrus-lady]

Agni Headcanons That No One Asked For But Everyone Will Get Because This Man Needs More Love.

As usual 18+ with nsfw elements. Minors cover your pure eyes. No one asked for this but I just love this man so much I would risk it all for him.

Agni is so loyal and respectful and would rather claw his own eyes out than hurt/ upset or disrespect his s/o in any way.

Agni is the definition of devoted, caring, and passionate. All he wants to do is take care of his s/o and make them as happy as they make him.

He is a gentleman and proves that chivalry is not dead. He opens doors for you, helps you downstairs and out of carriages, carries you when your feet are tired. Part of this is because he spends so much time in butler mode it can be hard to come out of it sometimes but he also does it because he believes that is genuinely how you treat your s/o.

Agni is protective. Not in an overbearing sense or like he doesn’t believe that you can take care of yourself, but more like “ If you’re doing this dangerous thing then I will be with you the entire way”. If you work early in the morning or late at night he will walk you to and from work. If you are cooking and need something cut or something from the tall shelf he’ll help you. That sort of thing.

If you’re being attacked you can be damn sure that he is not going to stand by and let you be hurt. This man would literally die protecting you.

This protectiveness also extends to when you’re sick. As we see in Book of Circus both Agni and Soma take physical health very seriously and believe you should take care of/pamper those you care about when they fall ill. So you can expect curry and soup in bed, massages, couple baths, cuddling, and he’ll even tell you stories/ read to you in bed.

This man loves taking baths together. Not in a sexy way though. Don’t get me wrong, he finds you gorgeous, but in his mind bath time is a time to relax and be intimate. He likes to wash your hair and body and likes it when you do the same. He feels truly at peace when you are just relaxing between his legs with your back against his chest, just soaking in the warm water. That being said, if you did want to get a little frisky in the tub he wouldn’t be opposed.

This protectiveness would only double if you were to become pregnant with his child. BTW he would literally cry if he found out you were carying  his child.

Soma absolutely adores you as well. Not only do you make Agni happy but he sees you in a motherly/sisterly way as well. I feel like in order for Agni to love someone Soma would also have to like them.

Soma knows that quality time is important in a relationship. After all, he and Agni spend every day together and look at how strong their relationship is. Because of this Soma tries to give Agni more time off to be with you. Soma might even invite you to work for him as a maid or tutor or something so that you and Agni can spend more time together. This also gives you a reason to move into Ciel’s townhouse with them and takes some of the workload off of Agni. If they were to go back to India then you bet your sweet ass you are going too.

Since Agni is one of Sebastian’s few ‘friends’ Sebastian is very happy that you make Agni happy. Sebastian respects you not only for who you are but because he respects Agni and obviously there is something special about you if you were able to capture his heart.

Ciel also respects you and is happy for Agni but less so than Sebastian. Ciel is just glad that Soma has someone else to pester now.

Agni would cook and clean for you gladly and he is an amazing cook, even up there with Sebastian. He would be really happy if you asked him to make curry for you, especially if you liked it a lot. Agni would also want to learn how to make dishes from your culture.

Agni learned how to dance for you. When you, Soma, and he were invited to one of the Phantomhive’s balls he asked Sebastian to teach him so that he could dance with you. He had noticed at prior parties how much you had wanted to dance and wanted to learn for you. It was actually really cute and funny because he had to use Mey-rin as a stand-in for you. At first, he was reluctant to do so because you’re his one and only of course, but Sebastian convinced him that A) a dance doesn’t really count as cheating and B) this was the only way he could learn as everyone else in the mansion was male ( I’m sorry if your a reader who identifies as male! Just ignore that part if you are). Later that night he surprised you by asking you to dance and proceeding to waltz you around the room!

Lizzie thinks you are a really cute couple and beforehand she was helping you get ready in a guest room. She positively squealed when she saw you two dancing and then proceeded to try and convince Ciel to dance with her, which he reluctantly did.

If you wanted to dance with Soma, Sebastian, or anyone else that he knows and trusts he would be fine with that but he would not like it if you danced with anyone he didn’t know. He doesn’t trust the person’s intentions. In his mind, almost everyone is after you because he just thinks you’re so great and anyone who doesn’t also think so must be a fool.

This man is a giver, not only in bed but in life too. His main goal in life is to take care of those he cares about and make them happy. He is so loyal and supportive. Honestly would be a great dad. I think as a dad he would be protective without being super strict. Also, he does not believe in spanking his children.

Like I said before, this man is a giver in bed. In his mind, your pleasure comes first and foremost and his pleasure is derived from yours.

He’s going to worship your body and he absolutely dies inside when you return even a fraction of the favor. His natural pace is a slower, deeper, gentler pace but honestly, he’s going to do whatever his partner wants. This man is just so passionate. Not to mention how strong he is and how much stamina he has. He will go as long as you want and as many times as you want. I would sell my soul to Sebastian to see this man in the nude.

This man will give you oral. He will literally spend so long doing it too. You’re going to have at least one orgasm before he even gets to the main course. The king of soft and loving caresses. Caresses your thighs, legs, shoulders, ( breasts if you have them). He also likes kissing your lips and neck while doing the deed.

Is so romantic. Will plan things like romantic picnics and dinners and will set the mood with flower petals and scented candles/incense. He just wants you to know how much he loves you.

Will also do small, casual dates as well. Cooking dates, grocery shopping dates, strolls through the garden, or around town.

I picture him with a kind and compassionate someone. I think his s/o is more down to earth and chill. I can’t really see him with someone particularly childish or hyperactive. I think he gets enough of that from Soma and although he cares deeply for Soma, it can be a bit draining at the end of the day. Plus if his s/o was closer to Soma’s age he might feel a little weird about the age difference. ( Agni is 31 and Soma is 17). Not to say that his s/o isn’t energetic or that he wouldn’t date a younger s/o, but I feel like they are more mature behavior-wise.

Agni would also be really great at handling an s/o with mental health issues or that has a traumatic past/ has been through something traumatic. His patience and understanding mixed with his compassion, caring, loyalty and love would make him an excellent listener and healer.

This man smells like spices and Indian tea. He would also let you braid his long section of hair. This man also radiates heat like a furnace.

[eralisse]

Brothers Conflict: Passion Pink - Kaname Route - Main 16/Kaname 6 - Truth

As you may notice, even though I'm playing in order now, I've skipped a few scenes. Mainly because I disagree with their characterization, or they're just fillers with no plot, and I'm translating to give myself fanfiction material. Scenes where the game author appears to have taken a leaf out of the anime script instead of the light novel will not be prioritized.

As always, my comments will be at the bottom. And I invite you to comment in the comment/response area!

Summary: Ema learns of her adoption status.

Brothers Conflict Translations Index

November 13, 2010 (Saturday)

Juli: Huh. Even though they’re both busy, they clean up quite a bit.

Ema: Hmm. Instead of them cleaning, perhaps it’s because Papa and Miwa-san are so busy with work that they’re not home much…?

Juli: Indeed, that could be it.

(Today, we borrowed the spare key, and came over to Papa and Miwa-san’s new house. But like always, the two of them were busy, and right now, it was just Juli and me in the house.)

Juli: They asked you to organize the photos taken at the wedding ceremony, right?

Ema: Yes. Papa said that there were so many photos of the brothers that they still haven’t been touched.

Juli: Certainly, if that many people are gathered, it’ll be hard work to organize the photos.

Ema: Yeah, if we don’t get started soon, the sun will set.

Juli: That’s true, so let’s get started right now.

Ema: Yes!

Juli: Hm, what’s this? Haha! Chi is pretty cute in this one, huh?

Ema: Ehh, which one? I want to see!

Juli: Here.

Ema: … Why am I eating cake with such a serious face…?

Juli: Gluttony is a good look.

Ema: Erghhh....

Juli: Ahh, this one is of Kaname. When he’s not talking, he’s a handsome man.

Ema: Ahaha, that’s true! Hey hey, Wataru-chan is super cute in this one!!

Juli: Isn’t that… a photo of when Wataru and Masaomi made a speech at the reception?

Ema: Yeah. When it looked like Wataru was starting to ad-lib in the middle, Masaomi couldn’t keep up, and got really impatient.

Juli: This is a photo of Tsubaki and Azusa singing together.

Ema: Speaking of which, Tsubaki and Azusa’s song was really well-done! Their harmony was pretty, which I thought it was as expected (of the twins).

Juli: Oh, this one is of Yuusuke.

Ema: … Why are there so many photos of Yuusuke-kun eating dinner…?

Juli: Haha, he couldn’t lose to Chi in wearing gluttony.

Ema: Juli, stop it… Oh…? There don’t seem to be many photos of Iori-san and Fuuto-kun…

Juli: Those two were always surrounded by female guests, so there probably weren’t many chances to take photos of them?

Ema: That’s right…

Juli: … Anyway, it’s definitely a spectacle when the brothers are gathered together. I would be happy just going through photos like this.

Ema: Very true.

(The me up until last year could not have imagined this situation. To be surrounded by so much family… Right now, I’m really happy.)

Juli: To have forgotten our original purpose, even while looking straight at it, such weakness.

Ema: Hehe, indeed. Let’s hurry up and finish, and then after collecting them, take our time looking! Miwa-san did tell me, “There are unused albums on a shelf”...

Juli: Do you see something like that…?

Ema: Hmm, I wonder if she forgot to place them…? Ah, perhaps they’re inside this box?

(There was a brand new box in the corner of a shelf. Inside it were many envelopes, and a notebook.)

Ema: … Mm? What’s this?

Juli: Hm, a maternity health record book?

Ema: The child’s name is “Ema Nagami”...? Ema is my name though… but “Nagami”...?

Juli: ……!!

(...... What is this apprehension…!?)

Ema: Hey, Juli… This here… The parents’ names are… Kenji and Yukie Nagami… “Yukie” is my mom’s name. … But “Kenji” is…?

Juli: …

Ema: I… I don’t understand the meaning of this… My dad’s name is Rintarou Hinata. Rintarou Hinata, right…? What’s this…?

Juli: H-hey! What are you doing, Chi!!?

Ema: …… Looking for more! This has to be a mistake……!

Juli: Chi… You should stop…

Ema: What’s this…?

(From an envelope that was in the box, an old photo somehow came out. It was a photo of Papa and a man I didn’t know… And, the man I didn’t know was holding onto a baby… The man’s smile was truly happy…)

Ema: There’s something written on the back… This, it’s my birth date… “With Kenji and Ema”?

Juli: Chi…

Ema: … What is… this…?

Rintarou: I’m home--

Ema: ……!?

Rintarou: Ahh, Ema. You’ve come.

Ema: Papa…

Rintarou: Work ended earlier than I thought it would today. Since I heard Ema was coming, I came home quickly.

Ema: ……

Rintarou: …… Ema?

Ema: ……

Rintarou: ……! Where did you get that photo…!?

Ema: …… While organizing the photos from the wedding, I found this box by chance……

Rintarou: That box…!

Ema: Hey, Papa. The maternity health record book that was in the box, that’s not mine, right…? Because, I don’t know the name “Nagami”... And, who’s “Kenji Nagami”...?

Rintarou: Th-that’s…

Ema: Where it says Ema… Yukie… it’s just a coincidence, right…? It just happened to be the same as Mama’s and my names, and has nothing to do with us, right…!?

Rintarou: ……!

Ema: Hey… Say it’s wrong, Papa… Say it’s not about me…! Say it’s not my record book…! Because, this isn’t Papa’s name…!? My dad’s name is “Rintarou Hinata”, my mom’s name is “Yukie Hinata”, and I… I’m… “Ema Hinata”, right…!?

Rintarou: Ema…

Ema: I don’t understand this photo! Who is this person by Papa…? Why does it have my birthdate and name written on the back…? I don’t know this photo! I don’t know this man! The baby in this photo… isn’t me!!!

Rintarou: ……

Ema: Because… Because… My dad is……!

Rintarou: Ema… I’d like to say something.

Ema: …...o.

Rintarou: Eh…?

Ema: No! What you’re going to say… I don’t want to hear it!!

Rintarou: H-hey! Wait, Ema!!

(Just earlier, I was laughing and saying I was happy...

I ran from the room, to flee from reality…)

---

(How long will I be here like this…

Even so, I can’t get up from this park bench.

… The tears won’t stop.

I’m definitely not my dad’s child.

That’s probably what Papa wanted to say.

The maternity health record book and photo.

Even though when I look at those items, I can understand it in my head, I’m scared to hear it from Papa directly…

If I hear those words from none other than Papa’s lips, I feel that I will become all alone…

No matter how much I cry, the tears keep coming one after another.)

---

Kaname: What’s up, Imouto-chan.

Ema: …… Kaname-san?

Kaname: The day’s gotten dark, and it’s dangerous to be in this kind of place by yourself, you know?

Ema: ……

Kaname: Are you crying?

Ema: I, I’m fine.

Kaname: … My precious little sister, even with such swollen eyes, can’t simply answer “Yes, that’s right”, huh.

Ema: … Um, Kaname-san, how are you here…

Kaname: Rintarou-san contacted us at home. Said you’d ran off. Right now, everyone’s looking for you.

Ema: … Everyone?

Kaname: Yup. … We also heard about your situation.

(I see… So everyone already knows.)

Kaname: Hey. Do you feel like going home yet?

Ema: ……

Kaname: I see I see… I think it’s not unreasonable for you to be confused. I understand the feeling of wanting to be alone to cry.

Ema: … Kaname-san wouldn’t understand. Not about my feelings…!

Kaname: That’s true. I can’t understand 100%. But, I can imagine. Having something that you’ve believed up until now being shattered… Perhaps not knowing where to put your faith?

Ema: ……

Kaname: I’m a monk, remember. People that are suffering, people that are sad, I see many of them. That’s why right now, I can understand what kind of feelings you have.

Ema: I… see…

Kaname: However-- This is a problem only you can overcome. I can’t tell you what to do.

Ema: Eh…

Kaname: Whether you accept that you’re Rintarou’s adopted daughter, or not, is something only you can decide.

Ema: … Please don’t say that! That… If I accept that, I’ll…!

(I feel… I’ll truly become alone…)

Kaname: … I’m sorry.

(--Eh?)

Kaname: For saying that even though you don’t like it.

(Kaname’s arms wrapped around me tentatively…)

Kaname: I said earlier, that this is your problem. I can’t change that. … However.

Ema: ……?

Kaname: I can support you as you overcome this. If you need it.

Ema: Kaname-san…

Kaname: It’s okay to not smile if you can’t, and it’s okay to cry as much as you feel like. However, you can’t turn your eyes away from the problem. You have to overcome this, okay?

Ema: ……

(Quiet but powerful, Kaname’s voice went straight to my heart… There was none of the normal lightheartedness or playfulness…)

Ema: … I.

Kaname: Hm?

Ema: I thought Kaname-san would have more gentle words at such a time…

Kaname: Mm, is that so?

Ema: Yes… But somehow, I’ve opened my eyes.

Kaname: Opened your eyes?

Ema: I ran without listening to Papa’s side, and regret that. Even though I should have heard what he had to say properly...

Kaname: Yes.

Ema: I’ll… go talk to Papa. There has to be some deep reason for why he’s kept such an important thing secret until now… It’s not too late now…. Is it?

Kaname: It’s not late. I expect that Rintarou-san has been waiting for you to say this.

Ema: Yes…

Kaname: You’ll be fine. I’m here by your side. For as long as you strive to overcome this, I will support you. --- You can do it.

Ema: Thank you… Kaname-san.

(Kaname’s arms were filled with strength… Somehow, I found them very reliable…)

Kaname: ……… How unusual. You haven’t fled.

Ema: Eh?

Kaname: I seem to have gotten caught up in the moment.

Ema: Huh?

Kaname: May I comfort Imouto-chan? Would it be alright to kiss?

Ema: Wha…! How did it get to this topic!

Kaname: Because, it seemed like that kind of atmosphere.

Ema: What atmosphere! Enough! (Please) let go of me!

Kaname: Ehhhh. But the mood was finally good--.

(Despite everything, Kaname-san is light-hearted…

However, I can’t run forever…

I must thank Kaname-san, who pushed me forward.

I’ll meet with Papa.

We’ll meet, and I’ll listen properly to what he has to say…!)

----

Comments

I think this is one of the few scenes in the game where Kaname gets closest to how he is in the novels? He's got quite a few scenes in the books where he has Talks with Ema. And frankly, he's one of the few people that will sit her down for personal conversations.

Regarding this scene in particular--

I'm not sure Ema is entirely overreacting? Sure, the actual shouting and such is a little dramatic, but this has been hidden from her her whole life (she's 17 at this date). Would I be able to stand to be in the same room as Rintarou at that time if I were her? Probably not.

Also, despite their whole talk about facing the problem, I'm not sure they're talking about the same issue? Kaname thinks that she's having issues accepting that she's adopted. Which, she is, but when he shows up, she's already getting there, but her issue is that she thinks she'll be alone. And nothing during this scene directly addresses that. All that talk about Kaname being close to a mind-reader, and ehhhhh, close but no cigar. At least Rui addresses it in the anime/novels.

I also understand that there may be some word limits on the scene, but Ema sure came around quickly. If only 2 lines of dialogue from someone could soothe real life scenarios as effectively!

As for my feelings on Rintarou--- Well, those anime screens of Ema cooking for herself, and taking care of herself when sick, when she was just a little kid, really stuck with me. Clearly, he's not been available, because I don't recall Ema going to him for help at any time. If he had been a more present parent, surely she would have turned to him more (or not, because forced plot reasons). And yet somehow, the two have a good relationship, but maybe it's just from movie magic.

[babybatscreationsv2]

A King on a Leash ch9

Marvel | Starker

Tony Stark is a powerful man with a beautiful husband and a loyal crime family, but it looks like he didn’t keep his husband on a short enough leash. After turning Peter lose on a Cuban gang leader, Peter’s life is  in danger. The real trouble is that Tony now realizes that Peter is the  only thing in this world that he cares about and he never meant for that  to happen.

Sequel to A Doll on a String

Rating: Explicit

Full Fic

A Doll on a String

Warnings under the cut*

Warnings: suicide attempt, some dark mental health related humor, daddy kink, murder mention, violence mention, jealousy

There were no sun beams to cast rays on Peter's perfect face this morning. Clouds filtered the light into something in between uncomfortably bright while simultaneously being too dark. Tony slid out of bed and went into the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water, helping himself to wake up. He wasn't sure why, but he felt on edge. It was like his body was gearing up to fight even though there were no threats in the room.

Tony stared at his reflection. He looked tired, old, worn out. He examined the lines by his eyes and the gray at his roots. Gray hairs were starting to sprout in his beard as well. He wondered if that was worth trying to dye that, too. It was so stupid. He was stupid.

He closed his eyes and pictured Peter, young, strong, leaping around the stage as if it were a part of him. He sat in the shadows, outside of the stage lights' reach. Where he belonged. He'd dragged Peter into the shadows with him. And for what? What would he do when he realized that he could do better? He didn't have to be tied down to some old man for the rest of his life. Harry was young. The same age as him.

The bathroom door opened. It was easy to put a smile on his face as Peter slipped in, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He threw his long arms around him and buried his face in his chest.

"Good morning," he mumbled.

"Good morning, angel."

Peter hummed against his chest. "Are you free, today?"

"I can be." Tony pet Peter's hair. It was so soft and getting a little long again. "Did you need something?"

"You do." Peter looked up at him. "You need me, I can tell. I already called in, said I had the flu. I'm home the rest of the week."

Tony shook his head. "Angel."

Peter smiled. "It's okay. You're more important to me."

"More important than your dancing? You haven't taken a day off in, what, your whole life?"

He shook head his, smile slipping away. "I took time off when you went missing. And when you were in the hospital. I never left your side. Not for one second."

Warm. Fuck, Peter was the sun. There was nothing without him. Tony held his face between his hands. Peter smiled again. His fingers brushed Tony's cheek.

"There's still something you're not telling me. I'm gonna stick to you like glue until I figure it out."

"There's nothing to tell, dear."

He frowned. The lines drew deep around his mouth. "I wish you wouldn't lie to me. It hurts."

It hurt him, too. He wanted to argue that he wasn’t lying, but that would be a lie.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you can't." That hand fell away from his face and Tony felt his heart drop into his stomach along with it. "Let me distract you," Peter whispered. He pressed in close. "You've been holding your breath too long. Let me take care of you, daddy."

Peter pressed a kiss to his chin, then he slid down to the floor. Tony sighed in anticipation. Fingers curled into his boxers, the only thing he had slept in. Peter smiled, clearly pleased with the reaction he got. He kissed his cock through the fabric, fattening him up.

"Remember that time at the shooting range?" he said, wicked little smile on his face.

"Of course I do, angel."

"We should do that again sometime."

"The public sex or the murder?"

Peter smiled. He grazed his teeth over his cock through the fabric. "Both."

Tony ran his fingers through his hair. It was too perfect not to pull. Peter leaned away from his hand, letting the strands pull tighter.

"Didn't you have enough fun the other night?"

"I like to watch you do it."

Tony combed Peter's curls with his fingers. "When we find this cousin of Suarez's, I'll let you watch."

"You'd better." He slowly pulled down Tony's boxers, taking him into his mouth.

Tony moaned and leaned back against the counter. "Better than coffee."

Peter hummed his agreement. His doe eyes peeked up from under thick eyelashes. Tony pet his cheek. "Pretty little thing. Nice and slow, that's it."

He relaxed against the counter, admiring Peter on his knees. And that mouth, delightful. Of course Peter was right, this was exactly what he needed. Reassurance that Peter wanted him.

Tony smirked, watching him slowly grow impatient despite his desire to help Tony unwind. He'd left him hanging the night before after all.

"Come here, angel." He pulled Peter up and kissed his swollen mouth. "Let's give your throat break, huh?"

Peter smiled. "I have other talents."

"Oh do you?" Tony turned him around, facing the mirror. His hand gripped his throat, his hips pressed against his ass. "You mean like taking my cock like the worlds prettiest fleshlight?"

Peter moaned. "Yes, that's what I mean."

Tony laughed and kissed his cheek. "Bend over, then."

Peter bent over the counter, stepping his legs apart. Tony hunted down some lube from the drawer and slicked his cock in it. Peter watched him in the mirror with dark eyes.

"Need something, sweetheart?"

He nodded, then he licked his lips. "Yes, please."

Tony held his hip. He took his cock in one hand and just pressed the tip against his hole. The promised of tight heat nearly pulled him in. "This what you want?"

"Please, daddy. I want your cock," he begged. Tony loved the way his mouth turned down and cheeks grew pink. Pouting and begging for cock. How was he always this perfect?

Tony pushed in, forcing his way in deep all at once, making them both moan. He leaned over Peter's back, lips to his ear. "What my angel wants my angel gets."

Peter reached back to hold the back of his head. He pulled him in for a kiss. "I love you," he breathed.

"I love you, Peter."

Peter hunted around for his hand and held it. Tony tangled their fingers together more comfortably and rested their hands against the counter top. He straightened up to get a better angle and held Peter's hips to fuck him good and deep. His breath fogged up the mirror and he chewed his lip as he whined.

"Let it out, baby. Let me hear you."

"Daddy!"

Tony groaned. "That's my good boy, my angel. You sound so sweet."

"Your cock feels so good," he whined, face down against the counter. "I can't- daddy please!"

"You're all worked up from last night," Tony laughed.

"Yes, fuck!" Peter squealed, voice breaking as he thrust inside. He looked at him in tbe mirror, pleading. "I'm gonna cum, fuck please! Let me cum please!"

"Not yet, be a good little toy. Let daddy use you."

"Yes, daddy," he moaned, head falling against the counter top.

Not that Tony could drag it out much longer himself. Not with Peter squeezing around him, making those sweet little noises he does. He held off as long as he could.

"You ready, baby?"

"Yeah, daddy."

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Please!"

Tony smiled and kissed his shoulder. "Go ahead, angel." Peter cried out against the counter top. Tony groaned as he tightened up around him. It was only a moment longer before he let go. Then they were both messy and gasping against the counter.

Peter turned in his arms, kissing his face until Tony caught his breath enough to kiss him back. "Love you," Peter panted, again and again.

"Love you, angel." Tony kissed his mouth, his cheeks, his hands. The morning was bliss and the rest of the day followed with the two of them never making it long without keeping their hands off of each other.

Some time after lunch, Tony went out onto the balcony. The air was crisp with incoming rain. He soaked it up, wishing rain would come to wash away the insecurity threatening to tear him down. He had to get past it. He had to have the same faith in Peter that he gave. He had to remember why he stayed with him. Why Peter loved him. It was impossible when he felt so helpless. It would go away once all this Suarez bullshit was handled. Or would Harry Osborn still threaten him? Tony snorted. Some spoiled brat wasn't a threat to him. And yet...

"Tony?" Peter called from the open doors behind him. Tony turned and smiled at his husband. He'd finally gotten dressed. Just some skinny jeans and an old shirt of Tony's because when did Peter ever wear his own clothes?

"There's my angel." Tony stepped away from the ledge to take Peter in his arms. He kissed his sweet lips.

"Tony?" he said again.

"Yeah, baby?"

"What has gotten into you?"

Tony blinked. Peter had this calm look on his face as if he were burying emotions he didn't want Tony to see. "What do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird lately, but last night was super weird. And then today. You're always possessive and I never mind it, if anything I enjoy it, but I'm worried.

"I'm sorry, baby. I never meant to worry you."

Hurt glittered in his eyes. "I'm scared, Tony. What's going on with you?"

Tony took a deep breath. Time to come clean. Maybe if he told Peter how he was feeling he could reassure him. "I'm scared. That's why I've been weird."

"Scared of what?"

"You, Suarez, Osborn-"

"Osborn? You mean Harry?" He shook his head, pure confusion on his face.

Tony forced him to say how he felt. "I'm not strong enough to protect you and I've been waiting for you to figure that out and find someone stronger."

"You think Harry's stronger than you?"

"What matters is what you think."

Peter blinked, seeming to realize something. "You think I don't love you. You think I'm waiting for someone with more, what, money or power or influence?"

"I... I don't know," Tony said and he couldn't remember ever being afraid to tell the truth like he was now.

Peter stared at him for a long moment. His expression had melted from shock and horror to something entirely blank. Empty. Then he moved, quickly slipling from his arms and walking past him. Tony followed him back outside but he was too slow to stop him before Peter climbed up onto the railing and stared down at the rocks below.

"I'll jump," he said, calm, but loud enough to be hear over the waves. Tony reached for him and stood with his arm hanging in the air, afraid to unbalance him.

"Peter, why?" His heart was pounding, but he fought down panic. Still it was bubbling up from his stomach to his throat. He could only hold it back for so long.

"If you really believe that I don't love you. If you really think that I'm playing some kind of game and I'm going to leave you someday in some quest for power. Just say so and I'll jump. Let me prove to you that I'd rather die than cause you pain." He couldn't see his face but he could hear the pain in his voice.

Tony's legs felt weak. His stomach dropped. He was cold all over. "Peter," he said, but he barely heard it himself.

"Say what you mean. Tell me."

"Peter, please. I love you." He felt like he might collapse to his knees. He was afraid to move, afraid Peter would pull away, afraid he would fall. He inched closer, hoping to be close enough to catch him if he moved.

"And do I love you?" Peter glared. His face was all rage, fiery, uncontrollable rage.

"Of course you do. Peter I'm sorry, please." He couldn't breathe. He was really going to collapse. He felt tears on his face, but he hadn't even noticed his eyes watering. "Please come down, angel, please," he begged. His knees were weak, so weak. He dipped toward the ground. "Please... please."

Peter dropped gracefully from the ledge. He knelt down and pulled Tony into his arms.

"It's okay. I love you. I'm here."

"Don't leave me." Tony wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly to his chest. He breathed in the smell of his hair and soaked up his warmth. His whole body was shaking and he couldn't make it stop. It took a long time for his lungs to feel right, like he could breathe again. All the while Peter whispered against his chest.

"I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry. I'll never leave, Tony, I'm sorry."

A long while passed filled with Peter's pleading and Tony's quiet sobbing. "Don't be sorry," Tony finally said. He let Peter go just enough that he could look at his face. His eyes were wet and his lips were chapped.

"We need therapy," Peter said. A sob came from his throat, but he smiled.

Tony laughed. His throat hurt. How hard had he been crying? "Yeah, I do." He head Peter's face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"No, we." Peter held on to his arms. "I just threatened to kill myself. Who does that?"

"No, it's fine. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I think violence is the only thing I understand sometimes."

Peter shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I can't imagine how bad that freaked you out- I was just... just so mad."

"I'm sorry." His hands rubbed Peter's shoulders. He held onto his arms.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry," Peter said.

As if he should be sorry when Tony was the one acting like an idiot. "I shouldn't have accused you like that."

"Tony." Peter held his face between his hands. He said very slowly, "I just threatened to kill myself."

"Right." He took a breath. Reality began to feel like it wasn't quite so far away. "And if you ever do that again I will lock you our bedroom for the rest of forever."

Peter smiled. "There's my Tony."

Tony's heart leaped to stare at that beautiful smiling face. All his. His Peter. "You're not going anywhere, angel."

"You're right. I'm not. Not ever." Peter pulled himself into his lap and curled up against his chest. "I'll kill him. I'll do it for you."

Tony wrapped his arms around him. His pressed his cheek to the top of Peter's head. "You don't have to do that, angel."

"I will. I want to prove it to you. That I would never choose him, or anyone, over you."

Tony smiled. He kissed the top of his head. "I'd love that, but I can't let you, baby." And it was, in fact, a crying shame.

"Why not? We can do anything we want." Peter looked up at him.

"Because Osborn has been asked to join the Bosses."

Peter's forehead scrunched. "But he's nobody. He's not even in the business."

"No, but he's in a good position to start. And there's always been five. It's traditional. Fisk is adamant about it and no one has any real reason to argue with him. Obviously, if the kid causes trouble he's shark bait, but he's proven himself competent so far."

"Fisk is apprenticing him?"

"Effectively, yeah."

Peter shook his head. "And after all the trouble Norman went to. If only he'd known he just needed to kill Otto."

"Funny isn't it?"

He was thoughtful for a moment. Tony ran his fingers up and down his arm. He could have lost him. He nearly pushed him too far. No more bullshit. No more stupid tests. Peter interrupted his pity party. "This is a good opportunity for you."

"Is it?"

"Uh huh," Peter smiled again. "You've been having trouble with the other bosses. I know that makes trouble for business. Certain districts you can't cross and people you can't deal with. But I can make Harry like you."

Tony smiled, too. The clever little devil. "Once Harry manages to claim what used to be Octavius's territory, I'll have access to all of it."

"And if you helped Harry do that, he'd owe you a lot," Peter nodded. Their little ball of devious thoughts rolled right along.

"Plus it would piss off Toomes. We all agreed to leave Octavius's business to his Capos for the time being, but he's been trying to draw them in."

"I'm sure Harry could smooth talk them. He's a good business man. Toomes is a thief and a liar, but business isn't his thing."

"That's exactly what you should tell your little friend. In between talking me up."

"Talking about you is the easy part."

"I'm sure you enjoy spending time with your friend."

Peter placed a hand on his cheek. "Say the word and he's shark bait."

[marginsofmarga]

You are a Survivor: A Reminder to my Future Self

Dear Survivor,

On the 12th day of January 2000, a bouncing baby girl was born and was destined to meet the world. She was innocently ecstatic, bursting into tears as a newborn, and her parents couldn’t be more grateful to have her as their daughter. As she turned eighth months, her parents were in disbelief for she had to deal with a serious medical condition called intussusception — a form of bowel obstruction in which one segment of the intestine telescopes inside of another. She was in a 50-50 situation during that time and the doctors did not provide any assurance for her to live when she had to undergo a surgical operation. 

The baby girl was you.

Yes, you. Luckily, here you are. You made it. Your life started after such a tragic incident. In an early age like that, you are already a survivor.  What a precious privilege it is for you to be alive. You have a purpose and it is yet to be discovered. 

But brace yourself because it’s going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride.

Anxiety and the ‘new normal’

Growing up, you are this girl who is full of fears. You are afraid of anything that might put you in danger and you are terrified of the uncertainty. Diving deeper, your big fear is not knowing what the future holds. And I‘m sure a lot of people can relate.

This fear was especially present when the COVID-19 pandemic began. The world seems to have ground to a halt because of the virus. As a fearful person, this is such a big deal. In retrospect, conditions created by the pandemic were taking a psychological toll. You were full of anxieties that you even experience panic attacks. Remember how difficult it was when you couldn’t sleep? And how overthinking consumed you for months? You were drowning in pain and fright and you never knew when it will be over. You were stressed about so many things: your health if ever you and your loved ones catch the virus, the mental agony it creates, your education when setbacks and transitions happened, the stress of what this year would be like, the postponed travels, and all the uncertainty. Anxiety bugged you for too long. It took all your strength.

Think about where you were earlier last year. You were in your second year in college. Just before the world slowed down, you were just a typical college student who tries her best to go through the day of university life. Back then, you were kilometers away from home which required you to rent a dormitory. On weekdays, you basically had a routine – waking up as the sun rises, getting ready for school, wearing your neatly ironed uniform and taking a short commute when going to school. Having meaningful lessons, small talks during the breaks with your friends, exchanging information with your professors, and learning day by day made the regular jiffs worth it. Later on, the pandemic took place. It felt as if the world stopped. Everything changed in a split second. Over the past few months, you’ve experienced an unprecedented shift in your way of life due to COVID-19. Coping up with the transition from face-to-face to online classes wasn’t easy. 

The journey you’ve been through was on a rugged terrain and so full of ups and downs. You were stuck at home juggling chores, classes and your side hustle, content creation. It seemed so difficult to adjust; there was a change in the situation of class’ atmosphere, you struggled with time-management and self-motivation along the way, workload is way larger than regular classes, barriers occur such as bad internet service, power interruptions and so on. Not to mention creating content when you are not at your best. All these left you in a crucial spot.

Challenges as the virus came closer

It was in the month of March when you found out that your grandmother, 72 years old, tested positive for COVID-19. Much to your disbelief, you were scared to death. It felt as if a thorn got pricked in your heart. Your grandma means so much to you. She is such a remarkable woman. A heart like hers would give so unselfishly. She’s a combination of love and laughter. The thought of losing her is painful to handle.

Fortunately, she was asymptomatic. But we never knew what might happen in a snap.

The pandemic is impacting everyone. And your family wasn’t an exception. It meant making big changes in everyday routines and raised anxiety in every household member. The alarming numbers gave you a picture of how deadly the virus is. It’s killing people on a large scale. So much about the virus is out of your control. Not just the virus itself but all other aspects of life.

Time often makes you play the waiting game. It quickly passes by when you want it to stay still, but doesn’t seem to tick at all when you want it to hurry up. At this point, you are deeply hoping that the pandemic comes to an end.

Disastrous encounters

In the early morning of November 1, 2020, Super Typhoon Rolly (International name, Goni), made its first landfall in the Philippines in Bicol – with catastrophic winds of up to 280 kilometers per hour and torrential rainfall. Reading about the weather update, you began to ponder how tormenting it is to deal with such predicament: super typhoon in time of pandemic.   That’s two disasters in a row.

Can you recall waking up to howling winds and heavy-pouring rains? Of course you could. It was almost seven o’clock in the morning. Windows were intensely rattling in the wind. Some were even shattering. You were in your room full of worries, wondering when the catastrophe will end as your door started to tremble caused by the blustery weather. You immediately got up and went to your parents’ room. Your little brothers were still asleep. Your mom was securing some of your belongings and your dad wasn’t there so you looked for him outside through peeking by the window. You spotted him taking his good ‘ole motorcycles out of the garage and transferring those in the front gate. As you saw that the flood started to rise, you ran into your room and packed all of your things in plastic bags. As you finish, you prepared for breakfast. There were drizzles from the kitchen windows due to the gushing rain. Picking up new door mats was your idea but just then, the flood water began to enter. You tried to mop it out at first until it became too much too handle. It was not just a wet floor anymore. You continued to put everything on high places of the house. You weren’t sure whether the flood is going to reach above the ankle as usual but as several minutes or so passed, the water started to reach the knees and outside the house, the water reached the thighs of an average person.

It was a great relief that you were living in a two-storey house, but the second floor was usually untouched and unoccupied, and at that exceptional moment, it was your only safe refuge.  That isolated part of the house had to be cleaned first so you and your brothers had to wait sitting on the stairs for the meantime. Almost everything was a bit slippery and taking a few steps to the stairs, your mom accidentally slid and fell on her buttocks, leaving her semi-injured with a small wound on the heel. Aching in pain, there she was as your anxiety began to escalate with everything that was happening.

It was past 12 o’clock during noon as the rain lie low and the strong winds stopped. Meanwhile, flood water kept entering the house. It even reached your bed. The unprecedented intensity of the calamity made the water rise so high. Other appliances were soaked in flood water. You all tried to secure everything in the house, but the sight of flood-affected area was horrible. 

It seemed such a cruel irony that while battling the pandemic, a disaster as strong as Rolly made repercussions to your family and other families. It was such a struggle to recover from the losses. Some appliances were broken and your dad’s piggery was devastated. The agricultural damage it also brought to the small rice field your dad was handling affected your finances. The calamity knocked out mobile phone services, uprooted trees and destroyed critical infrastructures. The neighboring towns, particularly those which are near Mayon Volcano were engulfed in floodwater and volcanic mudflows. How awful! It was a twofold challenge on your concern. You badly want to help but you’re still a jobless student. 

Just days after the onslaught of Typhoon Rolly, Typhoon Ulysses roughly crossed the same track and made landfall on November 11. Disaster after disaster. Destruction after destruction – in the midst of a pandemic. It was unbelievable, it was beyond imagination, and all at the same time, dreadful. 

Multiple factors contributed to this turnabout. Most of the time, caused by circumstances beyond anybody’s control. 

The rise after the fall

When you were in despair, you prayed everyday and kept your faith intact hoping and believing that everything’s going to be all right. You stayed strong when you are at your weakest and you let God move in His mysterious ways. Tomorrow awaits. There is hope. The anxieties were no longer haunting you. You realized that you are doing the best you can, you are letting go of the things you cannot control and you start to focus on things that actually matter. You learned to embrace the uncertainty by accompanying it with faith. Your greatest fears especially the consequences of this pandemic took all your strength but there was redemption. It may be chaotic as it seems but you managed to make it through. The girl who was full of fears is now full of strength.

You survived your online classes, finished the whole semester alongside content creation with new projects coming in, and you adapted to a new reality. The monstrous and unimaginable situation brought by the virus was difficult to deal with but you still took control of what you can actually muster. You learned to manage your time wisely. You created a workspace and followed a study schedule. You made learning a joy. You made content creation a passion. You tried your best in keeping your spirits up  for the sake of surpassing all of the hardships.

One afternoon, while you were running errands with your mom, a notification popped. You were informed by a block mate that you are a dean’s lister. Wow. It made your parents proud. You were bursting in bliss. It was totally fulfilling. Memories suddenly flashed back. You remember all the challenges you faced, the hardwork you made and the efforts you poured bore an academic achievement in the midst of the pandemic. It all paid off.

Look at your grandmother. She’s doing well, healthy and is now back to her normal routine. You also get to spend more time with her now. A new tradition for the family was made. Every month, there is a “family day” where joyful memories are created. Being with your family is a blessing, take note of that. Don’t be so busy watching out for what’s ahead of you but rather, enjoy where you are.  Never miss any opportunity to spend time with your loved ones.

When two super typhoons as powerful as Rolly and Ulysses both left trails of destruction in your region, it terribly affected many families and your family wasn’t an exception.  It struck as the Philippines continues to battle the pandemic. Despite it all, your family recovered.  After the previous crops have been ravaged by the merciless storms, the succeeding harvest was a bounty. 

Seeing how the super typhoons affected millions of people in eight regions, it made your heart shatter. There was something in you that wanted to lend a helping hand not only to your family but to the community as well. Good thing, an opportunity came. You were asked to be the chairperson in your town for a relief operation called Barya Ni Juan, a movement made by Discover MNL in collaboration with Bicol Bloggers and other Bicolano brands, which provided aid for 1,000 families in 10 Bicolano communities that were gravely affected by Typhoon Rolly and Ulysses. Of course, you accepted the offer without thinking twice. With the help of your friends, you managed to accomplish the mission by distributing 500 peso-worth each relief pack to 100 homes. It may be a small act of kindness but you saw smiles on many faces. It felt gratifying. The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow.

What a life! You’ve learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned or the way you think they should. You’ve learned that you can turn pain into power and you can overcome anything that was meant to destroy you. You’ve become patient with yourself and your growth, knowing that good things take time. You fell so many times but you were able to get back up. 

Be proud of how far you’ve come – the silent battles you fought, the adversities you faced, the moments you had to wipe your own tears and pat yourself on the back. You’ve gone through the dark side of life but you have gained strength, courage and confidence like no other.

Always remind yourself these:

“I surpassed many challenges.” “I am capable of everything I set my mind into.” “I take every setback and use it to my advantage.”

One day, you’ll look back and you’ll tell yourself you are indeed a survivor.

With love and light, A stronger version of yourself

_______________________________________________________________________

This story is an entry to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project Season 2: Dear Survivor”. The initiative continues to respond to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis.  The initiative aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. The “Write to Ignite Blogging Project” Season 2 is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, with Eastern Communications and Jobstreet as co-presenters, with AirAsia and Xiaomi as major sponsors, and with Teleperformance as sponsor.

[theramseyloft]

Hello! I was wondering what sort of requirements pigeons would have and the whole breeds thing. (Sorry long ask) How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size and also, how would one go about excersizing them? Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night? Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there? Are they expensive to keep? And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate? Thank you :) 1/2

You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too? And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life? 2/2

Whuf!

These are really broad questions. I’ll have to break them down and answer ne at a time, so I apologize in advance for the length of time it will take me to get this ask out.

“How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size...”

Pigeon breeds range in size from the tiny Valencian Figurita and Portuguese tumblers (vying constantly to be the worlds smallest breed) to the literally chicken sized Giant Runt.

So the amount of space required depends on the breed’s size and energy level.

Homers are about the average.

Here is an old picture from before the loft’s redesign of two of my breeding pair in their pens.

These are labrador sized dog crates, outfitted with a rabbit’s corner litter pan as a nest box and a garden stake cut to length as a perch.

Pigeons need flat perches because they are cliff nesters. Round ones like branches or dowels hurt their feet.

If yours is going to be a house pet, the cage should be what a crate is for dogs: A safe place to sleep or wait for you to get home until it learns the house rules.

Pigeons are intensely social birds that are happiest with the freedom of motion to come see you when they want, and go occupy themselves when they don’t want company.

The nice thing about pigeons is that they don;t need to be all over you all the time. They are independent enough to go do their own thing, but want to be able to come check on or spend time with you.

Which dovetails nicely into your next question: “how would one go about exercising them?”

A pigeon allowed to free range indoors will exercise themself plenty.

If you cannot let them free range the entire house, letting them out in your bedroom while you are home will be fine for most breeds.

“Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night?”

Absolutely not!

“Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there?”

That possibly could be turned all the way up to a guarantee.

Performance breeds like racers, rollers, and tumblers are over bred to make up for the losses during training flights from inclement weather getting a bird lost, hawks snatching them out of the air, and diseases picked up from wild birds and brought back.

“Are they expensive to keep?”

After the initial cost for set up and the vet check to make sure they don’t have parasites and aren’t ill, the upkeep for a few is shockingly cheap.

You can get a lab sized kennel for $50-70. If you want an even bigger space, Great Dane kennels are about $80.

You can buy a wooden garden stake from pretty much any hardware store for about $5.

The bunny corner box is not required if you aren’t breeding. Pigeons will just as happily use a dollar store dog bowl to nest in.

My vet bill for a new bird is $70: $35 for the exotics wellness exam, $20 for a throat swab, and $15 for a fecal test.

I expected feral and lost birds to have lice, worms, parasites, and infections, but was floored when every single show bird I ever purchased from breeders did too!

You’re better off in the long run assuming something needs to be healed, cleaned out, or cleared up and just finding out from the vet as soon as they get there what needs treating.

Clear it out then, and an inside bird is pretty well set.

You can buy 50lbs of feed for $20 at Tractor supply.

And 50lbs of calcium supplements for $11.

I have 36 pigeons and 2 ringneck doves right now, so 50lbs lasts me a little over a week.

But a single bird will eat off of that for over half a year.

“And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate?”

Most of the Exhibition breeds are pretty friendly, but from most to least kennel space, here are the ones I have enjoyed the most hands on:

Utility kings

These are the size of chickens and will need a LOT of flight time. 

They are a meat breed, so they are genetically predisposed to docility, but also obesity.

They do best free roaming the house full time. It’s really hard to find a cage big enough to comfortably accommodate them.

Giant Homers

Utility kings are a squabbing breed, designed for constant production of big squabs, so they are more bird-shaped than the Giant Homer, which was bred to be eaten as an adult, and then for the aesthetic of a fat round bird.

Like the Utility King, Giant Homers are known for their mellow, gentle temperaments. But after having worked with them for a few years, it seems mostly to be that they are simply too big and heavy to evade effectively, and they know it.

Along with being prone to obesity, their sheer weight puts tremendous pressure on their feet and they can develop huge, painful calluses.

I like my mixes better than their purebred parents, because they inherited the temperament with out the bulk that causes painful or dangerous health issues.

Lahore

Named for the city in Pakistan where they were developed, the Lahore is a huge, gorgeous bird. 

Their wing span more then the size of their actual body makes them difficult to cage, so it’s best they have the run of at least a bedroom.

these are laid back and mellow, but not exactly touch me birds. If one gets on your shoulder or in your lap, feel honored.

Frillbacks

For the same reason as the Lahore, Frillbacks can be difficult to pen indoors. 

An individual can be happy in a Great Dane sized kennel, but frankly won’t fit comfortably into anything smaller.

These are very laid back, not especially flighty, and quite friendly. Young birds are very much cuddle bugs, and the individual pictured still comes up to me to nurse between my fingers.

No known associated health issues, but individuals with especially long muffs can stay especially still because the shaft of the feather under the skin of their feet is bigger around than the bones of their toes, making walking painful.

Show standards require large muffs, so it can be hard to find them with muffs like Bean’s here.

There is one breeder that raises hers with short muffs and entirely clean legged. I’ll be happy to link you.

Voorburg Shield Cropper

These leggy, slender birds are a pain to house because of their height, but the only breed I know of with points taken off in the show standard if they are not friendly enough to try to court the judges.

This sweet flamboyant temperament makes them an absolute delight to work with!

These are the first on the list with no known health issues associated with the breed.

Show Type Racing homer

This is an elegant exhibition breed, easy to house in the example set up we discussed at the beginning of the ask.

They are bulkier than racing homers or flying type show homers, VERY tightly feathered.

This is a wonderfully sweet tempered breed that tends not to be especially flighty. 

Some of that is due to the sheer bulk of its musculature, but most of it does genuinely seem to be temperament.

Old Dutch Capuchine 

These have a reputation for being docile, but I have found them to be quite flighty.

Mixes incorporating this breed, though, tend to be quite bold and out going.

Racing Homer

This is the most commonly available pigeon breed.

Bred for endurance racing, this is a very high energy bird that needs a LOT of time out of the pen to fly. 

They have the strongest immune system and highest intelligence of any of the pure breeds.

though some individuals can be hair-trigger flighty, this breed is keenly intelligent and highly curious, and those individuals can learn to overcome their flightiness if their handler can learn to be aware enough of their comfort levels not to startle them with too-quick motion.

Lucerne Peak Crest

Named, like the Lahore, after the city in Switzerland where the breed was developed.

The Lucerne is an extremely temperature hardy breed. 

It’s among what are called the Owl Breeds; small, compact breeds with short to mid length beaks, round faces, and large, round eyes.

Most of the owl breeds are mellow and sweet tempered, boldly curious, and not generally prone to be flighty.

Their beaks being a little short makes their nasal slit narrow and the opening to their sinuses wide, so small seeds like Millet can get stuck in the nasal cavity of some individuals.

Classic Old Frill

Oh, this is my favorite purebred.

The total pidge package: Small, friendly, shockingly beautiful, devoted parents. 

There is absolutely everything to love about this wonderful cuddle bug breed.

Nun

These are a gorgeous breed, often described as being friendly because they are not smart enough to be wary.

They are unspeakably awful parents, prone to literally treating their eggs like an especially large, uncomfortable poop.

Old German Owl

Another absolute delight of a charming little Owl breed.

These are as stubborn as they are sweet tempered, which can make them a really fun challenge to train.

These are cuddle bugs, for the most part. 

Chinese Owl

These are tiny little clouds that range from intensely curious and strongly treat motivated to absolute refusal to have anything to do with anything even remotely human shaped with very little in between. 

Small and easy to house.

Portuguese Tumbler

This is a tiny bird, not much taller than a conure.

They are bred purely for aerial performance, so this is a SUPER high energy breed that, like the racing homer, needs a LOT of out time.

They are very bold in their friendliness, eager to check up on you and steal a cheek-smooch before zooming off to resume doing their own thing.

Unfortunately, their breed standard requires their back toe not to touch the ground. They go on tippy toes when they are happy, excited, or relaxed, which makes something like a human hand or shoulder physically difficult to balance on, and there for uncomfortable to stand on.

So trying to pet one throws their balance and stresses them severely.

Mixes with stronger feet are thrilled to have the affectionate attention of human flock mates.

Valencian Figurita

The tiniest owl breed, currently just barely winning out over the Portuguese tumbler.

It’s known for its trapezoidal head shape and upright stance.

This is a bold, plucky little bird that in my experience loves shoulders. ^v^

They are bred a little too small, though, tending to only lay one egg to a clutch, with many dying in the shell with out space for the peep to develop.

Their hatchlings are often given to ringneck doves to foster.

“You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too?”

Oh, god, you would not believe the number of pigeon breeds that aren’t even bird shaped!

There are nearly twice as many severely distorted breeds as fit, bird shaped ones.

Check the Modern art Pigeons tag.

“And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life?”

Pippin is a feral pigeon.

This is about the closest you can get to the base line natural shape of the species Columba livia.

The more pigeon-shaped the breed, the better.

Ferals are, genetically, a blend of the homers, rollers, and tumblers that survived getting lost on training tosses or during performances.

Here is Wilson, another purebred Racing homer.

Because this breed is designed to fly marathons literally hundreds of miles, it’s a lot more compact and muscular than Ferals and genuinely wild Rock Doves, who only need to fly as far as it takes to find enough to eat in a day.

The farther off this base line you go, the less physically fit the breed.

The American Fantail is an especially heinous train wreck.

Its chest is out thrust over its head, its neck curves parallel to its spine, and its head is propped up by its own tail feathers.

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This pitiful creature is not just displaying.

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Their skeleton is permanently stuck in that shape.

Parlor rollers are bred with a combination of neuromuscular defects that throw their balance when ever they flap their wings, sending them into a panic as they flail to right themselves.

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Parlor Tumblers have a less severe version of the same group of deformities:

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We talked about the Old dutch Capuchine above.

Jacobins are the extreme “modern” version of the ODC.

You could trim their feathers to clear their field of vision

But their very long necks tend to collapse into their shoulders with age.

The male Barb’s huge, wrinkled wattle and ceres block off their nasal passages and deform the eyelids so that they may not be able to fully close.

Cocks usually go blind with in three years, but that doesn’t matter to their breeders because their peak show and reproductive performance is between their first and second year of age.

The Short Faced Budapest’s show standard requires its eyes to telescope as much as possible.

Its eyes are literally bigger than its skull, and don;t fit in their sockets.

The eye lid is all that holds them in.

And some can’t fully close their eyes.

This is the Oriental Frill, also called the Modern Frill.

they have literally no beak.

Turbits have a longer head, but a nearly inverted beak.

These birds can;t feed their own young, and struggle to preen themselves.

Aaaand here is the Egyptian Moraslat 

This is a very typical attitude among breeders of these birds with extreme body shapes.

I also have a series on weird, but physically sound breeds, and would be happy to go more into those in another ask.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Dating Jason Todd would include

-YOU ARE LITTLE PRECIOUS BUNNY I SWEAR YOU BRING OUT THE SOFTEST PART OF THIS BROKEN MAN

-like this dude will literally let you get away with ANYTHING and no one better stop you

-“Hey Jay I just robbed a bank and took a lollipop from that kid next door.”

-“Aww you’re so cute, Doll. Let me put out this cigarette and I’ll help you count the money, okay?”

-“Jay, Dick said I can’t have anymore ice pops!!! I really want some, it’s not fair!!”

-“ He said what?! hOld On iM gEtTinG mY Gun nO OnE TelLs mY lItTle Babe sHe caNt haVe anY iCe popS.”

-wearing his thick leather jackets that smell like cigarettes and expensive scotch 

-Stealing his 1/16263819827 Red hoods and waddling around the house while he’s out on patrol

-“Hey I’m RedHood and I have DaDdY IssUes, prepare to diEee!!! *pew pew*”

-“is that how I sound to you?! Because I don’t *pew pew* I *brrraaatratratatataaa* get it correct Y/N”

-Your tough edgy boyfriend 

-If he has an off day, he’ll take you on a ride on his motorcycle to wherever you want to go. If it’d make you happy, he’d drive to Paris for you if he could.

-You guys usually end up drifting by the waterside, taking in the longing smell of the sea, feeling the subtle warmth of the setting sun and melting into the welcoming breeze

-There’s this really good Sandwich stand by the oceanfront and you guys always get a large one, and share it with a nice cold bottle of Coke. There’s also this really nice private beach that you two have no business being on, you guys would sometimes just sit on one of the lifeguards stands for a while and just enjoy each other 

-“Hey Jay Jay?”

-“What’s up, Love bug?

-“Your eyes have a hint of Aqua Green in them. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I just wanted you to know that, that’s all.”

-IN HOME CONCERTS EVERY SATURDAY AND OR FRIDAY. 

-every week you guys make a list of your favorite classics and you build a Spotify playlist and dance around the house screaming *cough* I-i mean singing on the top of yalls lungs.

-weird adventures around the city! Like you guys sometimes go to weird parts of the city to see some weird crap to laugh about later on. 

-“Why is he wearing a tutu and dirty socks-“

-“keep walking baby girl don’t question it.”

-monthly movie nights where you guys watch a movie that has crappy 1 star reviews while eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage all night.

-“but why did he do that?”

-“according to ‘moviecridictbooiiii12’, he’s an uncultured swine who has no Character development, 1/10 trash person totally.”

-If you guys are just sitting in a comfortable silence, just cuddling, he might open up a bit about his childhood or maybe talk a bit about how he’s feeling. But that’s a rare rare occasion he doesn’t like talking much about it.

-This sometimes can cause a bit of a rift because it almost feels as if there’s a lack of trust but you understand he’s been through a whole lot and if it were you, you’d probably be the same way

-he does not like pills in the house but if you have health issues and have to take them, he won't crucify you because of it, but he will monitor you and make sure there is no drug abuse. He wants to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. He doesn't wanna lose you that way.

-He’s a depressed crackhead 

-“Hey Y/N, can you tell me what’s in the drawer in the kitchen. The one next to the sink”

 -“Hmm? There’s nothing in here Jason.”

-“Nothing you say? Just like my relationship with Bruce haha.”

-“Are you okay?”

-“No I am not and neither is my sleep schedule.”

-Oh yeah this Poor boy barely sleeps. Mainly because he’s out on patrol all night and when he finally gets home, he’s being called back out. Or sometimes he’s just so restless thinking about everything he needs to do. Other times he’s just scared to sleep.

-Yeah he’s pretty reluctant to go to sleep. He’s scared to have a bad dream and wake up in a vulnerable state. Or to accidentally wake you up from tossing and turning and wails of agony.

-You lost a lot of hours of sleep already do to comforting him at night so as much as he can function without a nights rest, he’ll do it to spare you

-You hate when he does this because you actually don’t mind comforting him, it makes you feel like he trusts and can rely on you.

-nightmares about the joker or the pit. Cryinggg this boy is really traumatized

-“Shhh, Jason it’ll be alright. I’m right here love.”

-Even though he avoids sleep at all costs, this doesn’t stop him from napping on the recliner or at the kitchen table from time to time.

-He’s a bit self destructive with drinking, smoking, betting himself up, not sleeping or eating properly. You really have to help him and work with him. Be patient and kind pLz.

-He doesn’t like exposing you to the stuff he does, he doesn’t like you seeing all the gore or what not so he doesn’t try to come home bloody much actually. He might stop at dicks house or some other friend’s house to clean up a bit before coming to you

-Todd doesn’t like you to see and be around all that. He wants to keep that life very very separate, he even tries to keep the news off and away from you. Although you already know and if it bothers you it not, it’s not much you can do to stop him.

-The only time you might see him bloody or hurt is when he can’t make it to a friends house and he needs you to patch him up and put him to bed quickly.

-argurmentssss

-Yeah you guys do little annoying antics back and forth but it’s not something super crucial. The only time where it heats up is like if something he’s doing really really bothers you, like his killings or if he does something super reckless. The arguments usually end up with

- “I’m sorry Doll, I’ll do better for you.”

- “Sorry JayBird, I wasn’t being fair” 

-The worst an argument had ever gotten was when he didn’t come home for weeks without telling you he was out on a mission and you were scared out of your mind and ended up cursing him out for scaring you. 

-You didn’t talk to him for about a week and he was a wreck

-“JASON DONT YOU DARE TRY TO KISS ME OR HUG ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE F*CKING DEAD OR WORSE! YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE I LITERALLY HATE YOU RIGHT NOW I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEEKS JASON I WAS WORRIED SICK-“

-“Hey, it’s okay Y/n- I’m here no-“

-“NO IT'S NOT LITERAL I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, GET AWAY FROM ME.”

-He cannot stand when he breaks your heart or makes you upset like he beats himself up a whole lot. He will apologize to you and do anything to make it up.

-“Stupid Todd? How can you upset the one person that seems to be so patient and loving to you? Ugh you idiot.”

-yeah he literally kissed up to you for months he felt so bad even after you apologized for overreacting and told him he didn’t need to do anything 

-Yeah speaking of kissing up to you, he Buys you anything you want just ask. Looking at that super nice outfit in the mall? Check your room, it’s on your bed with a cute little note. Want an ice cream sundae? Yeah he got extra fudge/caramel for his princess. 

-He just loves you like so so much he doesn’t care what you look like, how big or how skinny, how light or how dark you are. He literally adores you and wants to protect you with all his heart. He’d buy the whole world for you.

-“Jason, literal listen to me. 600 dollars for a charm bracelet I liked in the mall is too much, go return it”

-he’s a bit overprotective with you. Not in a “HEKDJEHEHEHINEEDTOKNOWWHEREYOUAREATALLTIMESSENPAI.”  Kind of way but in a like “Check in every once in a while will ya babe? I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

-He doesn’t let you go outside after a certain time for ANYTHING unless it’s an emergency. It’s too dangerous in Gotham for you to be out scrolling going to a convenience store at 10pm at night. So if you need something from the store he’ll go get it for you or already have it in the house.

-Will 100 throw hands for you

-actually makes sure you can defend yourself and trains you a bit every month to make sure if trouble comes and he’s not there, you can protect yourself

-Intimacy

-Honhonhon. Although what many believe Jason has a high sex drive and wants it a lot or what not. I don’t think it’s 100% true

-I believe that like if his partner wasn’t the type of person who wanted it, or didn’t feel comfortable with it, he’d be okay with it. Like he doesn’t need it to survive although you look hecking good in that outfit today

-I feel like he’d be more kissy and rough touching than the full 100 yards with a more soft/standoffish sexually significant other. 

-Yeah if he gets from a stressful mission or just needs to feel you, he’s gonna wanna kiss and touch on you but if you’re not into all that then like he’d back off because he respects you enough 

-neck kisses and thigh kisses 

-“jaybirdy I wanted to wear that new skirt I got yesterday, now I got your bites all over my legs.”

-he's a totally Dom and that’s on that period boo

-dAdDy KiNk I’m sorry

-His voice somehow becomes super raspy when he’s aroused?!?!

-He will tease you to a point you moan out his name and then turn around and act innocent 

-“let’s watch Frozen! What’s with that face dear? You didn’t think I’d let you have it that easily now did you?”

-*wears anything short*

-”WOOOOO DAMMNNNN Y/NNNNNN LOOKING FOINE TODAY I SEE YOU! CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?!?! YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S DAMN LUCKYYY!”

-Highkey finds it so hot when you sit on his lap like damn it feels so nice to him like you know you’re his and that’s like arousing to him. Will play with the hem of your skirt if your wearing them and your thighs aren’t safe

(Anyways I ain’t trynna make this NSFW but I might do a little something for my 200 follower special)

-On a softer purer note, you guys are like the roasters of the fam, okay! Like no one is safe, especially Damian.

-“Tch- Todd and his little pet.”

-“Dami, didn’t know you’d be here, and apparently your hairline didn’t know either.”

-*Jason, Tim and Dick were dying*

-“Hey you little accident, why you standing like that, you look like you’re bout to enlist in the army.” 

-“shut up Todd, at least I have good posture unlike you.”

-“Hey leave Damian alone, Jason. Dami just has a pole in his ass that makes him stand in first position all the time. It’s a serious condition, y’all need to stop laughing.”

-“Hey Selina! Your Sugar Daddy is in the kitchen, try not to steal anything though because he might cut down your weekly allowance.”

-“Haha Y/N and yours is in the living room getting drunk, careful he might end up with me tonight.”

-“Hmm, a gold digger and a cougar? Wow you got your careers set don’t ya! Ooops you should check in the mirror tho! I think your Botox is drooping.”

-yAlL CAnT sTop ROaStinG PeOpLe anD it’S wOrse When yaLls DruNk

-You’re actually pretty close to The BatFam and like Bruce Adores you he thinks you’re a wonderful influence on Jason like you changed him a lot. Dick sees you as a baby sister and like he literally baby’s you so much it’s sad. Tim and you like to joke around a bit and talk you guys get along decently. Although Damian would NEVER admit it, he actually is kinda fond of you even though you guys insult each other. He might stab someone for like hurting you or something. But watch your back because he might stab you as well.

-going to Bruce’s Galas and charity events like by force. 

-“yYyyYYyyY/NnnNnNnNiEeeeEEee PLEaSE COmeEeeee sO iWOnT DrInk MySelF ouT oF tHeRe!!!”

-“Jason let go of my leg.”

-You don’t actually mind it too much, you’ve made some nice connections and plus it’s a little date night with Jason so Win Win!!

-He actually wears a nice Tux and styles his hair real nicely. Might even be wearing that nice watch Bruce gave him a long time ago on his birthday.

-*sniff sniff* is that Cologne? *sniiiiiiffffffff* *HIGHLY* Expensive cologne he’s wearing?! And *pat pat* HAIR GEL OH BOIIII

-He actually picks out a dress for you to wear. One he’s been dying to see you in. The super expensive one he found while shopping with Dick and Bruce one day.

-If some rich guy try’s flirting with you, it’s over for them. Jealous Todd Mode activated!

-“Doll Face, I found you. Love wandering off don’t you babe? When we get home, I’ll make sure you won’t want to wander off again,” He kisses into your ear hungrily “wHo’s tHiS, Y/N? Is he bothEriNg yOu?” He asks like he didn’t see him there

-“No but Jason you are.“

-“:o”

*later*

-“I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG Y/N!! HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU AND I HAD TO INSERT MY DOMINANCE.”

-“JAY HE WAS A BUSINESSMAN LOOKING TO INDORSE ME AND MY WORK! YOU JUST EMBARRASSED ME AND MADE HIM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!! LITERALLY NOW HE THINKS I HAVE AN OVER POSSESSIVE BOYFRIEND.”

-“oh-“

“YEAH ‘oH’! serIouslY I CanT stAnd yoU.”

-Jason’s drinking and smoking. Let’s just say you’re not the biggest fan of it because of his health, you’re so worried about it. He’s already taking shots and stabs but like the drinking and smoking on top of that? You’re worried about him

-You always voice your concern and he’s never too phased and he’s always like 

-“Don’t worry L/N, I’ll be okay. If this kills me, don’t let Dick take my meat stash in the freezer. Tell him I’m coming back to life in like 3 months give or take and I’ll be hungry for steak.”

-Actual best boyfriend! Like if you’re insecure about anything he’ll make you feel so much better, in every way possible. He makes it so know how much he loves you it’s so sweet and super cute like I’m crying.

-makes weird faces at you randomly and it somehow gets you to laugh?!?! 

-cooks breakfast or dinner for you every once in a while but messes up a few times 

-“sorry y/n I accidentally burnt the cookies I was trying to make for you. I-I can go run and ask Alfred to make some? I know how long you’ve been waiting to have some.”

- Did I mention he’s best boi? Like ugggghhhh he’s so blind to all that superficial mess people get caught up in. You talk down about yourself and he’ll like attack you in love I swear he will. He doesn’t like the self deprecation you do. He completely detests it.

-“Say you’re ugly one more time I’ll slap you with this heart of mine. Don’t make me do it Y/N. I’ll give you so much love, the only thing you’ll be able to say is “Omg I love myself so much like damn I’m so sexy and so fine and my personality? Perfect! thanks  to my totally handsome boyfriend, I see myself so clearly now.”

-You guys Also like spend his birthday with just each other. But it’s really special to him and he always looks forward to the small marble cake you make, that has strawberries on top. He loves when you sit on his lap with your face in the crook of his neck, whispering into his skin ever so gently telling him to ‘make a wish old man’

-something about the birthdays you spend with him, brings him back to a happy place he once felt as a child. Or wanted to feel. He always wishing for the same thing…..to always see you happy

-“Jay I love you.”

-“I love you too Y/N. Remember that okay?”

(Request open)