#screen gems s from hell

[dantes-southeesimo]

OoooOOooooOOo...Logos, scary huh? ~

[Featuring: a tribute to the scary logos community & associates]

[wren-dy-flowergarden]

TWST (Mafia!AU + Bodyguard!AU)

If you realize the characters have no relatability to each other (other than the twins), you are correct. Because I just used a "spin the wheel" to pick characters to write lollllll.

Since I am trying to get back into writing, requests are OPEN. No limit. Pls fill it with what you like, no promises I will write everything though :D

I also wanted to write something more dark...pls read tags just in case!

TW: !yandere content, possessive behavior, mentions of slight blood, dark underlying themes, reader is a jewelry heiress, not be'tad

Mafia!AU Floyd Leech

Mafia!Floyd Is a little too good at his job. Frankly, his boss gets quite frustrated with the amount of bodies brought home. It says dead or alive doesn’t it? Why should it matter what happens to these small frys. 

So when he sees your pretty face on the next hit, he licks his lips in delight. What a treat. Though, the boss did say to keep this one fresh. Little blood is not bad, too much, and it causes some problems. 

So when Floyd sees you on a park bench across the street. You’re…normal compared to the others. They are greasy, bastards flaunting around their beer bellies with women cradled in their arms compared to the pen in your hand tapping against white paper. 

Floyd wants to see where this will go. His boss said to handle you with ‘care’. The moment you see him, you freeze almost like a fish out of water, or maybe like those small shrimps he sees in the fish tank run for cover as a predator approaches. Nothing like those pompous asses who wanted all fight, no talk.

You are so much fun! As Floyd smiles, holding out an eraser. 

“You dropped this little shrimpy.”

Mafia!AU Idia Shroud

Mafia!Idia never, ever, ever works in front of the house! No! Never! He rather stayed in the operating room filled with the comfort of blue light from his multiple monitors. Never missing an angle, never missing a moment, eyes glued onto the screen, because that is what he is good at.

Not when he has to escort you into their headquarters. Also, why the hell are you here? You are just the rich, tiny, heiress of a multi billion xx company; couldn’t you be placed with someone more- energetic (not chronically online person who never sees the sun). 

How the hell is he supposed to start a conversation with you? Boss said to be an excellent host–why is he the one hosting the hostage!? You walk with more poise than him, your heels clicking on the floor as he shuffles. 

You are pretty though… Small lips, big doe eyes with furrowed eyebrows taking in your surroundings. Even your bare shoulders, exposed thin collar bone with dazzling gems draped across your neck, are shivering whether because of the cold?

Be a good host…be a decent host, Idia repeats in his head. The next thing he knows he is throwing his long jacket at your head where you make a noise similar to an ‘ump’. 

“W-w-wear that till we m-meet the boss! Hostages can’t get s-s–sick.”

Bodyguard!AU Jade Leech

Bodyguard!Jade where his smile leaves goosebumps on your skin. It's the way his eyes glimmer, his teeth a bit too sharp to be normal, the way his body lurks over you like a second shadow waiting to swallow you whole. 

But…he is good at his job– ridiculously good for a man your father found off the street on a whim. The way he is diligent in his motions, gently offering his hand as you exit the limo his gaze piercing through every paparazzi, a gloved hand guides you by the small of your back through the entrance.

Your bodyguard Jade who lowers himself to the ground before you to place designer heels on your feet. It would be a lovely gesture if it weren’t for the small red marks underneath the sole…

Jade is good at his job. He keeps you protected, prudent of your lifestyle and satisfied; but, there is this feeling where you feel almost…smothered? No–submerged by his attentiveness as if you are barely keeping your head above water before a predator pulls you down.

He is right in front of your face as you wake up from your daze. His off set eyes shine in amusement as he offers his gloved hand which you take in habit. It feels damp.

“It’s almost time for your debut. Shall we?”

Bodyguard!AU Silver

Bodyguard!Silver makes you realize you are more of a bodyguard than him. At least you can stay awake. When you find him huddled against a corner of your workplace for the nth time in the last week, you break down and buy a blanket. His porcelain face makes no change as you carefully drape the plush wool over his back. Long eyelashes and smooth snow hair cradles his features. 

You're about to brush a stray hair from his cheek but before even a finger graces him, your back hits the concrete floor. Wrists tightly pinned over your head. Your heart is beating in your chest, maybe from the surprise, maybe from the way silver eyes pierce into yours as he asses you with sleep in his eyes. It’s over in an instance as your bodyguard's face filled with shock and embarrassment as he releases you, apologies spilling out of his mouth. 

You rub your wrists. Usually that will be an immediate fire for you. Hurting clients, sleeping on the job; but, Silver is unusually fast. Faster than any of the previous bodyguards your father had hired for you. And his eyes…iridescent opal, it is as beautiful as the jewels you collect. 

Your hand to cradle his face, there would be some bruises forming across your wrists but nothing a pair oIn a soft voice y lace gloves could fix. You tell him it's alright, accidents happen, that one miniscule mistake isn’t enough for you to eget rid of him. He breaths out, anxiety still shakesungs as he gulps, nodding his head pure opals staring right at you,

“I’m sorry, it will never happen again my lady” 

[britt-kageryuu]

Donnie and Leo are on the beach set again, with some drinks, and snacks. They're dressed in their color coded board shorts, Hawaiian Shirts, and crocs.

Donnie wielding a purple folding fan dramatically greetsthw audience, "Greetings Our Lovely Balemates! Today, even if we may not seem qualified to do so, we will be looking over pictures from various events and judge the fashion choices of the people."

"I'm mainly here to judge if they actually pulled it off. Because according to my twin here, I have the fashion taste of a '80's fashion disaster'. Which is understandable my one good fashion choice was this:" Leo presses a button, and his outfit switches to his bomber jacket outfit from the clothes don't make the turtle. "Though I did get some insight from Dee, so I'm just here to see the pretty people in possibly stupid fashion choices." He changes back to his previous outfit.

"Okay, the first set of photos are from some beauty pageants. These were set to the theme of 'Historic Beauty', so outfits fashioned around classic fashion, or older vintages." Donnie says as he repositioned them on the screen, and brought up the screen where the audience will see the photos, and the twins scores for them.

"Alright let's get started." Leo says then pauses at the first picture, "Is that lady wearing a vetro Jupiter Jim themed poodle skirt, with a Lou Jitsu themed Shirt! That doesn't work what so ever!! And at a major event!!"

Donnie nodded, "Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. And I agree, she did not do a good job with her choice." They both gave the picture a bad score. "Now let's continue to the next picture before we nit pic the hell out this girls poor decision."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So this was Mr. New York huh, didn't know there were Male Beauty Pageants." Leo says while looking at the picture, "Do you think we could win one of these Dee?"

"Oh, I'm sure we could, but it would probably be unfair to the other contestants. Now for his outfit. Any thoughts Blue?" Donnie asks.

"I want to know how he was made Mr. New York, sure he looks nice, but his idea of fitting the theme, they told him the theme right?" Leo asked, "You said these were 'Iconic to the State', then why does he look like he was styled for Mr. Texas? And wow I just noticed how terrible he actually tooks."

"You're guess is as good as mine, dear Blue." Donnie answers, "So score. I give it a 3.5. Could be worse."

"Same."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know when I was gathering these pictures, I never realized that so many runway and Met Gala styles were so... how to put this politely? Weird? Strange?" Donnie pauses while snapping his fingers, trying to think of the right words. They were looking at a group of photos that were apparently considered the worst outfits from a few events.

Donnie lets out a confused noise, "You've been staring at this picture in silence, and you only want his outfit?" Leo just nods his head. "Okay then, let's give our scores and move on. We have a good number of pictures left, and only so much time left for this."

"A waste of fabric? Like how did they expect to do anything but stand there in thoss clothes?" Leo says, pointing to an outfit that looked like a glorified mummy costume studded in gems with a long train of fabric spiraling around the person on the floor. "Didn't you look into tons of fashion events for your clothes plans?"

"Yes, though I can only guess that some of these were buried, or not as photographed as the others. Which is not fully surprising, they were probably overshadowed by the best of the best. Or somehow the fashion side of social media didn't pick these up, and question them." Donnie remarks while zooming in on the details of a few outfits. "I know these are supposed to be For the Art, but still."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo's sitting wide eyed at the picture on the screen.

"Blue, I asked you if you had any opinions?" Donnie says while looking towards Leo.

"I want his outfit." Leo says simply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both brothers have been staring at this picture of someone in an elaborate kimono style dress. Leo eventually broke the silence, "Are we both trying to figure out how that one piece is floating, or is it because this Guy is unfairly pretty?"

"Both, I've been studying the tricks Cosplayers have used for this kind of thing, and I can't tell how they did it. And yes they're very much to pretty." Donnie comments while moving the picture around or zooming in at parts.

"Wait, the model's profile says their a Guy! We're not try to mock them! It's not fair how fabulous he looks!" Leo shouts after some comments in chat popped up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie clicked to the last photo, and they both jolted because it was picture of Lou Jitsu in a thankfully very modest maid outfit.

"I didn't put that in there!! Truffle Mac and Cheese! At least it wasn't worse!" Donnie shouts while covering his face.

Leo turns to his twin, "Wait if you didn't choose the pictures where did you get them?" He askes.

Donnie peeks out, "I put out a request on the Softshell Discord Patreon Server, and the mods, after they checked the photos, sent me the file. I didn't want to be spoiled, okay!" They shout back, while they put in their scores, and Donnie quickly closed the flie.

"Well that wasn't too bad, even with the Maid Lou Jitsu jumpscare. What do you say Dee?" Leo says while taking a drink.

Donnie lets out a sigh, "Sigh, definitely could be worse. I'm almost afraid to see which pictures were vetoed from the file. Any let's finish this stream!"

They both try to say the outro at once, but were out of sync, "See you next time Balemates! Dee and Blue swimming off!"

The stream ended, but the clips for various reactions circulated around the fans, and started some more memes in the fandom.

-------------------

Masterpost

This was originally going to be about a specific event, but I figured it would be better for them to be looking over a set of randomly source photos that came with Notes from the Discord.

[kaiowut99]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters GX Episodes 115 & 116 Subbed (Finalized)

(Previously: Episodes 113-114 Subbed [Finalized])

(Check out my Subbed!GX Stream Masterpost!)

TURN-115: Giese the Spirit Hunter

Cobra's second assassin was sent after Judai and the others--that assassin being Giese, who is capable of seeing Spirits. He captures Sapphire Pegasus, one of the Gem Beasts, alive and uses him to coerce them into dueling. In Judai's stead, due to his exhaustion of stamina, Johan confronts him, and a duel between Johan and Giese begins. Giese activates his Hunting Net Counter Trap, as if to hunt down Johan's Gem Beasts, and captures Amethyst Cat. Johan attempts to save his Gem Beasts, but even more traps would await him.

TURN-116: The Gem Beasts VS Hell Gundog

Giese proceeds to capture the Gem Beasts with various Trap Cards, while also summoning his Hell Gundog to pour on the attacks against Johan. Feeling anger at Giese's dirty dueling, Johan starts his counterattack, anticipating his Traps and overcoming them strategically by summoning Topaz Tiger and Emerald Turtle to attack with. Cornered, Giese goes for Johan's weakness, making him hold off on any of his attacks. With Johan unable to interfere with his moves, Giese activates his Substitute Pain Permanent Magic to inflict damage on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sooo, accidentally ran later with these than intended--not helped by realizing while drafting this full release post over the past two days that I missed a couple spots with a few of my usual animation fixes 🙃--buuut with that out of the way, finalized!115-116 are now up and ready to go! This isn't a catch-and-release I promise

These are always a nice pair of episodes in terms of establishing more around Johan's bond with the Gem Beasts and how he sees his relationship to Spirits, as shown as he encountered Tom and when he finds out that Giese was the one who stole his card and Spirit (meanwhile, the dub decided to give them history for reasons); that Pegasus cameo as he introduces them to the Gem Beasts was always cool, and his "Jesus!" line is iconic haha. Also notable for showing the start of the "What am I dueling for?" question starting to stir within Judai's head after his duel with Satou (which is also conspicuously absent from the dub). Always did find Giese's ultimate fate after Johan crushes him--to "Camula's Theme," at that, which always slaps (and is especially nice given the easter egg that Johan's VA, Kanako Irie, also voiced Camula)--a bit ambiguous since we never do follow up with him, but it is implied the Spirits he hunted (and the one he actually saw as a friend?) either consumed him or took him to the Spirit World or what-have-you; I wonder if they would've added a quick follow-up had they had some room in the episode runtime.

Animation error-wise, well, that was part of the reason for the delay, as overall I handled about 31 throughout both episodes, split roughly evenly between them; varied from smaller quality-of-watching things like split-screen timings (with some border errors mixed in, at that) to card errors (moreso in 116 given how often Hell Gundog wound up on Johan's Disk...) making up the bulk of them, along with helping Topaz Tiger see better well good in 115's preview for 116 due to an error with his eye. Given the amount of fixes worked on, as with 113-114, I'll once again go through the usual edit breakdown in this separate post for the interested!

Anywho, enjoy! Up next, I'll hopefully be working on the Judai vs Cobra three-parter in 117-119 together; I'll be detouring back to TFSP to work on Crow's events in the 5D's character stories, mixing in some work on 117-119 as I go. In particular, looking forward to revisiting 119 since it's a favorite (between the art/animation, music, Cobra's message to Judai echoing Satou coming back later... *chef's kiss*), but 117 will also be interesting for the Yubel/Amon interaction, and of course the surprise fight sequence! Stay tuned!

[koogl001]

What about Alastor with his fem! Future s/o who is a podcast type demon? Like she was a podcast host in life, i think shed have similar powers to both him and Vox as there are video and audio podcasts. (How about without the big ass tv head tho lmao) love your work! Happy New Year!

One-Shots and Headcanons Masterlist

As a professional podcaster, you gained quite the attention not only during your life, but during your death as well

Your powers include the ability to broadcast yourself thru any electronic device that has either a screen or a speaker, the ability to spy on people thru any electronic device that has either a camera or a microphone, the ability to corrupt and bend other broadcasts to your will (for example when airing the news, you can control what is said and done during them) and the ability to manipulate other occupants of hell with your voice

Some people even started comparing you to both Vox and Alastor

Alastor, as someone who prides himself on his abilities, gets quite annoyed when the public starts claiming a new rival with power even greater (or at least in this aspect) than his has resurfaced

No one was a better radio show host than him, and he was ready to prove it

Searching for you wasn’t hard, he just had to follow the wavelengths of your broadcasting to your exact location

You, however, were prepared as you knew that due to your abilities, at least one of the two overlords was bound to go after you at some point, so you kept tabs on both of them

When you felt Alastor approaching, all of the demons nearby were long under your spell as you ordered them to slow the deer demon down as much as possible

The process of getting someone under your power was a long one, after all

You were confident you could get him under your control within the time bought by your troops, but oh how wrong you were

When he busted into your studio, a blood bath behind him, you knew you had no chance of defeating him

And as Alastor looked at you, he knew that as well

You were very different than what he pictured you to be

You were small, meek, and weak

He took you to his home, locking you down in the basement

Your powers were too fascinating how him to let you perish too soon, he needed to find a way to utilise them for himself

His first go-to was, of course, making a deal with you

In exchange for your freedom, he could call upon you and use you whenever he needed to

The second option was to threaten you, be it with your life or the lives of those you hold close

The third option was to mentally manipulate you into using your powers for him willingly

But as you were too stubborn to form a contract with him, too new to Hell to have anyone dear here and too willing to give up your own life if it meant he wouldn’t get what he wanted, he had to settle for the last resort, the third option

You were free to roam the house as long as you wouldn’t try to escape, which you didn’t

No, you were much too interested in his plan, wanting to see just how far he would go to gain your trust

He brought you anything you asked as a way to bribe you, be it money, clothes, gems, jewellery, modern technology or even the souls he made deals with during his years down in Hell

But for each item, he would require information about you

Information that he could later use to his advantage

Despite coming from very different eras, your passion for broadcasting was something you soon started bonding over

The deer demon started gaining feelings he wasn’t even sure he would be capable of feeling, completely turning his plan against himself as you were now the one gaining his trust

And the more trust you gained, the more freedom you got till one day, you were able to escape, but not for long

Alastor, finding his home completely empty, shifted into his more demon-y form, sending his shadows out and joining them in their pursuit of retrieving you

“Sweetheart, did you honestly think that I would ever let you leave me?”

He whispered into your ear while he was running his fingers though your hair as you were chained down to his bed

There was no escaping now

[sailorstarr-chan4]

Some of my Favorite Manga That Deserve an Anime Adaptation

Red River (28 volumes)

😍😍😍 !!!!!!!! *gestures dramatically at the screen* I just!!! I cannot scream this enough!!!! This forgotten gem stole my heart in 2020 and I cannot get over it. In a word, this series is: passionate. Exquisite. UNDERRATED. 😭😭😭 It's a historical isekai romance that is full of political intrigue, erotica, brilliant characterization, GORGEOUS art, and great action. This manga is the reason why I wrote 3 out of the 8 non-crossover Red River fics that exist on AO3 lmaooooo. IT'S JUST SOOOOO GOOD!!!! I never finished a series longer than 7 volumes within less than 2 weeks, and completely online, no less! It's a damn shame that it's so hard finding even physical copies of the manga to own, because dammit, I NEED!!!! 😍😍😍🥺🥺🥺 I would straight up CRY from joy if an anime adaptation was ever announced skgjfdfkjgdf (but I doubt it'd ever happen 😭)

MAO (14 volumes and counting!)

I mean, it's only the legendary Rumiko Takahashi's latest work, COME ON. It has Takahashi's usual touch in the art style, themes, and motifs, but is also wonderfully refreshing, with all new memorable characters and low-key one of her BEST main ships of all time. The game's afoot, and there's mysteries to unravel with deeper conspiracies beneath them all, all with a hot immortal doctor and a feisty girl who shares his curse with a cat demon thing (a byoki, to be precise). WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?!

FAKE (7 volumes)

Yes, there's an OVA 2-part special. No, it's not enough. This bitch is thirsty for MORE. 😍😍😍👀👀👀 Yuri on Ice may be the first "yaoi" to steal my heart (I only put quotations because there's no porn lol), but FAKE is the first "official" yaoi to make me SQUEEEE while reading. Yes, this older series is not free from some of the unfortunate trappings of older yaoi series (*cough* noncon issues! *cough cough*), but I think what makes it work is that it's never pushed too far. And honestly, the mysteries surrounding their work as private detectives was so compelling, that it was almost like they never had time for shenanigans.... until after they fell in love 👀👀👀 Or, rather, after Ryo FINALLY accepted that he's gay AF for Dee lmao. Also: points for Dee being an openly bisexual man, who constantly corrects those who call him a homosexual. For the 90's??? That's surprisingly progressive.

Angel Sanctuary (20 volumes)

Yes, there's a 3 episode OVA. But it only "covers" the first 2 volumes out of TWENTY. This series is absolutely gorgeous: the Gothic inspired art, every panel is just dripping in angst, detail, and passion. The incest takes a backseat for the REAL drama, a savage dressing down of the hypocrisy of Christian ideals in a world where even the realm of Heaven is corrupt and full of sin. Dark, angsty, deliciously sinful, and a thoughtfully cynical yet inspiring commentary on what makes us human (even if you're a devil or an angel), it is an absolute CRIME that this series was never made into a full-length anime. If other controversial anime can be made/adapted in this day and age, then why not give this classic, forgotten gem a try, anime studios?! 😤

The Gentlemen's Alliance Cross (11 volumes)

Arina Tanemura's art is simply *chef's kiss* She has such a Shoujo Style that is unparalleled. Two are of her earlier works were made into beloved early 2000's magical girl anime series: Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne and Full Moon wo Sagashite. So why not THIS?! It is such a deliciously absurd Drama that is addicting and frustrating as hell. It's also just a truly touching tale of how family baggage can be so damaging to people's perceptions on love, relationships, and self-worth. It's a series that's near and dear to my heart, and I'd love to see it animated one day.

Kitchen Princess (10 volumes)

This adorable series is 90% fluff, 10% ANGST, with some of the cutest art styles imaginable. If you're itching for a series about food that doesn't go batshit like Food Wars (I love that show, but I can understand that it can be, er, overwhelming lol), Kitchen Princess invites you in for tea and cake and holds your hand as you eat delicious desserts that warm your soul. It is just a sweet, sweet story, with an abundance of fluff, but enough angst and hurt/comfort to balance out the cutesyness. Definitely a comfort food series that NEEDS AN ADORABLE, WHOLESOME ANIME AND CUTESY SOUNDTRACK, DAMMIT!!!!

Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden (12 volumes)

If the original series can get an anime, then SO CAN THE PREQUEL, DAMMIT!!!! Genbu Kaiden took what is good about Fushigi Yuugi, and made it better. The protagonist is a thousand times more likable and stronger, both physically and emotionally. The dramatic scenes are far more effective and don't rely on Soap Opera BS. And the art has improved! GENBU KAIDEN DESERVES MORE LOVE!!!

Arisa (12 volumes)

Don't let the cutesy art fool you: this is one of the darkest series I ever read that didn't kill off the entire cast. With the right soundtrack and animation studio, this could be a downright chilling show to watch, without resorting to Higurashi levels of terror and violence. I don't Do horror at all, but the psychological thrills and twists of this dark series kept me invested, frightened, alarmed, and entertained until the very end. I would love to see it animated one day.... 👀

Shinobi Life (13 volumes)

THE BODYGUARD ROMANCE BEFORE YONA OF THE DAWN MADE IT COOL!!!! 😍😍😍 Lol, but in all seriousness, this series is SO GOOD!!! Now that I finally own all of the physical copies published in English (which is only half, because this world is cruel 😭😭😭), I cannot WAIT to dive back into this world of time-traveling ninjas and reincarnated princesses and adorkable relationship shenanigans, with an added bonus of backstory ANGST.

Alice in the Country of Joker: Circus and Liar's Game (7 volumes)

Listen. LISTEN. I DEMAND AN ANIME BASED OFF THIS MIND-BOGGLING TRASH, and no, not just that joke of a "movie" that is even somehow even more incoherent than the countless manga spin-offs. Not all of us have the patience or understanding to play the games, pleeeeeease 😭😭😭

~~~

Honorable Mentions:

Fairy Cube (3 volumes)

First of all: fairies. Second of all: this tiny 3-volume series is such a clusterfuck of chaos, lightning fast plot points, that if stretched out to even a 12 or 13 episode series would probably make it coherent AND give justice to the story.

Alice 19th (6 volumes)

Same logic to Fairy Cube: I just want someone to take this mind-fuck of a series, because, in the right studio and director's hands, it'd be soooo amazing!

Otomen (17 volumes)

Honestly, I barely remember much of this adorkable series, other than the very refreshing and honest takes on gender, gender roles, and gender identity and how all are similar and yet separate. It would be nice to see more representation in mainstream anime, even now.

RG Veda (10 volumes)

Once again: a 2-episode OVA does not an anime make. Literally I just love the art and mythologies. And it's one of CLAMP's earliest work, and is low-key their most gorgeous. Imagining this story animated to today's standards would be *chef's kiss* AMAZING!!! 😍

Kilala Princess (5 volumes)

Let me make one thing absolutely clear: this will never happen. Ever. Never ever ever. Not in my lifetime, certainly, as long as copyright laws exist. If Kingdom Hearts is never gonna get an anime/animated show adaptation, then this cutesy manga sure as hell won't. But GODS I WANT IT!!!!!! 😍😍😍🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 It is every childhood Disnerd's self-insert dream come true sdkjgdjfgr

[astrobolical]

A (Hopefully) Helpful Guide to What in "Hell" is Bad?

Part 1 - General Overview, Achievements and Contracts

Last Updated: Oct 31, 2023

I have a mild love of documentation (okay, it’s a problem) and I find it fun— so here we go! I’ve hopefully written out most of the options you’ll encounter while playing, as I know it’s been a confusing start with the game coming out in the state that it did.

And let’s be real here, most gacha-style games can feel overwhelming at first, especially if you’re new to them overall. It happens, and with all the questions I’ve seen floating about, I wanted to maybe help someone out, as well as have some fun. Or this’ll flop, either way, still fun.

There will absolutely be things I’ve missed, or glossed over— or even gotten wrong— so feel free to ask about anything, tell me things, or correct me.

For full transparency— I have spent money on this game, but I have not “whaled” whatsoever. I wanted to test certain things, and I have a strong sense of curiousity.

Looking for another part of the game? Check out the other parts:

Part 1 - You Are Here!

Part 2 - My Devils, Levelling, Skills and Artifacts

Part 3 - Chapters, Levels and Dark Sanctuary

Part 4 - Unit Types, Elements, Battle Boards & Battle Tips

Part 5 - Shop, Secret Shop, Inventory and Management

Part 6 - Secret Club (Adore), Secret Club (Unholy Board), Hell-Oh! Talk

Now, let's get started!

General - Home Screen

We aren’t talking about the options you’ll see along the bottom of your Home Screen (where most of the gameplay is) here— that’s further down— but here we’ll talk about the other options you have available to you.

Profile Icon & Profile Options

The circular image in the top-left corner is your profile icon (mine is Belial)

It displays your character’s name (in my case, Aqua), and your accounts current level (19) as well as your chosen devil as your icon itself

This devil, as displayed above, can be different from the devil you display on the Home Screen as your companion

If you want to change your icon, click on the profile picture, and it will take you to a new screen, with a few more options

What can you do on this new screen?

Note: the edit icons are very small, as you can see above. The little grey text boxes with the teeny pencils. Each of them corresponds to what they’re closest to, each of the following options is prefaced by clicking the corresponding edit icon.

Change which devil is your profile icon (Belial, in my case)

Change your character’s name and gender

View your current exp progress, and how far it is until your next level

Edit your personal message

Display your favourite devils in your showcase

Find and copy your UID (User ID)

Home Screen Devil

This is referring to the devil you see each time you sign in— in my case, Leraye, as seen above.

You can display your favourite devil on your Home Screen by clicking the small circular icon with a tiny Ppyong within it that is beside your profile picture, just beneath the time

You can only display devils that you’ve acquired

Tapping on your chosen devil will have them talk to you— silently, through chat bubbles for most, but L-Grade devils are voiced

L-Rank devils display with their full art, and can be moved around (so yes, you can display anywhere on them, up close and personal if you really want), but S-Rank and below just use their standard avatar

Action Power

A very necessary resource, and a staple you’ll find across most mobile games.

Action power (AP) is what allows you to challenge levels or bosses in Go to Hell Chapters or within Dark Sanctuary

The cost of each level typically increases with their difficulty— but that’s okay!

AP replenishes over real-time, with 1AP returning every 3 minutes

Additionally, the amount of AP you can hold at once before becoming maxed out will increase as your account levels (i.e. at level 19, I can have a max of 181AP)

Guilty Gems

Guilty Gems (the little red ones) are a fairly limited resource in WHB

They are used to buy items from the shop— however it’s best to save them for things like Lesser Keys of Solomon than anything else (1,980 Guilty Gems = 30 Lesser Keys)— but we’ll go over the shop more later

These are received from clearing story levels (additional given for perfecting them), Daily/Weekly/Overall Achievements, and a very minute amount from Hell-Oh! Chats

Announcements

This is essentially a link to a site from PrettyBusy, where they post information

It usually has to do with upcoming changes or warnings of maintenance— it’s good to take a look now and then!

Mail

Any items sent out by PrettyBusy will be sent here — such as maintenance apology items, etc

Items received from raising your affections with your devils will also show up here (we’ll touch on this more further down)

Top-Right Menu Button

Always available as long as you’re not in a level, and sometimes can save you from needing to go back to the Home Screen first! Let’s take a look at the options you’ll find, and where they take you.

“Character” Section

Lobby - Takes you back to your Home Screen

Story - Goes to the chapter select screen (the same as “Go to Hell”)

Dark Sanctuary - Go to the Dark Sanctuary and take on some boss battles for materials

Character - Takes you to where you can manage, upgrade and learn about the devils you’ve acquired (same as “My Devil”)

Album - Takes you to an album that will hold all the CGs that you’ve unlocked throughout the story, allowing you to see them without any text in the way and view them anytime (yes, including the H-Scenes)

Inventory - This is where all of your items will go to— and we’ll touch more on inventory further down

Collect - Takes you to a book that keeps track of all the devils you’ve gotten so far, and how many are currently available— there’s also rewards to be had here! When there’s a notification, be sure to go look

“Community” Section

SHOP - No, I don’t know why this is the only one in all caps, but regardless, this will take you to the shop (NOT the hidden one!)

Achievement - A screen you’ll be visiting quite often, and is talked about further down in more detail

Contract - Head on over and start making some contracts with devils to join your team

“Settings” Section

System - As in almost all games, brings you to a menu in which you see all the options you have available towards the settings of the app and your account

Volume control, notification controls, and account settings are all found here

Under your account you are able to logout, delete your account, etc

This is also where you’ll find a link to contact PrettyBusy, called ‘Inquire’ under your account settings

Achievements

You’ll be getting lots of these as you play, and are the various sub goals within the game that give varying rewards. Also, yes, I’m cursing myself for forgetting to take a screenshot before finishing my dailies!

Types of Achievments

Daily - Achievements that refresh daily, and are the same each day, and it is heavily encouraged to at least sign in to do these (they don’t take long!)

Weekly - Goals that reset once per week (these do require regular sign in and completion of dailies)

Overall - Rewards given for various tasks throughout the game, such as satisfying your devils, levelling, level completion, upgrading artifacts, etc

What’s the Biggest Incentive?

The rewards given are quite small, but they add up as you continue to do them

It’s honestly just a staple of mobile games, to encourage you to come on regularly (like the daily sign-in reward, too)

However with the current state of WHB, this also gives you regular access to at least some Tears of Solomon (Hopefully this situation will become better after the next update)

You can get 1 Tears of Solomon per day by completing one of the daily goals, and another once per week— so that’s 8 Tears per week if you’re diligent, which means stronger devils on your team

Note: If you’re actively playing when the day rolls over (3pm UTC), you’ll receive your daily sign-in reward, but you’ll need to restart the app for the daily achievements to reset properly!

That’s about it for these simple goals— when you’re notified you’ve gotten one, be sure to go claim it! There’s some other reward systems we’ll get into later.

Contract - Let’s get some devils!

This is where you obtain your devils, as well as your artifacts, all wrapped up into one. This is the most central part of the gacha experience— the gacha itself!

Note: From what I can see there is no existing pity system on the standard banners, at least not that’s publicly listed (i.e. if you pull x amount of times without pulling an L-Grade devil, you’re guaranteed to get one)

Costs of Summoning

To make a contract, you’ll need two particular items.

Greater Keys of Solomon (Lemegeton)

Though labeled “Greater” these golden keys are actually the common ones

However, despite being the more common and cheaper option— event pulls rely on these, making them quite important!

This ‘banner’ allows you one free summon daily

You will, however, need 50 of the Greater Keys per 10-pull, and 5 Keys per single pull

Lesser Keys of Solomon (Goetia)

These red keys are the rarer of the two, and ones you’ll want the most

At the beginning, I’d say don’t worry about being too stingy with using them, as getting some units will be beneficial to you— but you don’t need to worry about getting everyone

You will need 30 Lesser Keys per 10-pull, and 3 Keys per single pull

Okay, so what’s the difference, right? Why’s one rarer than the other— and why is there two at all?

The probabilities!

Each Devil and Artifact is labeled with a rarity, with the lowest being B-Grade. These ranks are, in order: B, A, A+, S and L.

Here’s the probabilities while using Greater Keys:

And here are the probabilities while using Lesser Keys:

While you have the same likelihood on each to pull a devil vs an artifact (51.50% to 48.50% respectively), there’s some big differences elsewhere.

The Benefits of Lesser Keys

As you can see, the pool itself is significantly smaller; you will not see B or A-Grade at all. This significantly raises the chances to see the rarer ones you may be looking for

L-Grade changes from 0.30% to 2.50% chance— that’s a pretty big jump

That said, you can absolutely still get rarer grades using Greater Keys! (I have pulled L-Grade devils from it!)

How Do I Know What I Got?

Outside of simply waiting to see, like most gachas there’s ways to tell if you may have gotten what you’re looking for before you even see the results!

The spotlights that occur when you pull will light up the king who’s legion you’re pulling from (i.e. if Satan lights up, you have a chance to get him or any devils/artifacts that relate to him, like Leraye, etc)

Additionally, the king(s) will sparkle once the light settles, and each colour can give you an indication of rarity!

Colour Indicators (Subject to Change):

Red Sparkle - B or A-Grade

Purple Sparkle - A+ or S-Grade

Gold Sparkle - L-Grade

Note: The straw dolls represent unrevealed kings!

Also, if you get duplicates of your devils and artifacts— don’t worry, they aren’t going to waste! We’ll get to that soon.

Event Banners

These are temporary banners that are available only for the duration of their applicable events.

These banners (at least so far) have a pity system, though it’s a somewhat demanding one— 150 pulls guarantees you who you’re looking for. Their chances overall are upped though!

Now that we have some new companions and artifacts, we’ll go look at the “My Devil” or “Character” screen, and what options you have there-- see you in Part 2!

[yandere-daze]

Hiii!! Previous anon from the most recent self aware gacha pulling ask and the ask about a reader who starts asking for big impossible things

Thank you so much for answering the both of them!! Sorry if any of my asks came out as curt or anything

Going on to what I’m going to talk about. I’ve been imagining a reader in the enstars self aware au who shows no biases to anyone at first. They do like 3 pulls and just work with whatever cards they get. They’ll also randomize the characters on their Home Screen whenever they get bored. It seems like they’re saving up gems, tickets, dias for something but what? Lets just say that this is on engstars and the reader has a good idea on the upcoming banners.

Everything’s like normal until the idols realize that the reader has been hovering around opening and closing the game today. Like they’re waiting for something. Then the newest banner releases and the reader starts pulling with all the dias they’ve saved on that banner.

If the reader doesn’t get their beloved idol card then lets just say they sulk and stop playing the game for a week or two!

If the reader does then they start spending all their tickets and gems on the idol card they wanted. Immediately going for things like clothes, spps, or story chapters first! And immediately puts them on their team at the center, no matter what color the song may be.

Sorry for rambling! This specific idea has just been racking my brain for the past day!

Don´t worry, you´re perfectly fine!

gn reader

tw yandere

I would imagine in a situation like this, the idols would be quite anxious as you haven´t given them any hints as to who of them you prefer. You aren´t pulling for any of the current banners and you don´t even conciously choose who you want to see on your homescreen. The one you got as your starter card is probably happy that at least they get to always be on your team because they´re most likely your strongest card and you at least actually chose them in some capacity.

All the others are nervous because they have no idea how you feel about them. Do you like them? Do you hate them? Or are you just indifferent to them? It kind of keeps them awake at night and they need to know

Every time a banner or event passes by and you don´t go for their card, they´re always very disappointed, wondering if this is a sign that they´ll need to try harder to to earn your love.

And then all hell breaks loose when you finally do end up pulling on a banner, spending all of your hard-eard dias for a single character who obviously couldn´t be happier. All this time, you were patiently waiting for their turn! Oh, they´re so so delighted and overjoyed! You like them more than everyone else! Depending on who they are they´re definitely going to rub this in the others´s faces.

" Oh didn´t you see? They completely skipped your banners but they spent it all for me. Oh, they must love me more than anyone else!"

Of course the idol is trying their best to get to you as well when you´re trying so hard but it´s going to be very difficult when everyone is conspiring against them. Now that everyone realizes that this characters if your favorite they all have a common enemy.

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Gaia: *watches as Mirmulnir falls dead, covered in burns and slashes through her plating, but acting unbothered* ... Mission Accomplished. *turns and scans her team, taking note of any injuries* ... First Aid Required. Starting R̷o̵u̸t̴e̸ ̵T̴o̷-̵ *stops, eyes flashing several different colors as the dragon's scales float into the air and fly towards her, becoming streaks of light as she absorbs them* ...?!

Lucien: Oh wow.. What is this??

Kaidan: Uh, something I don't like the look of. Gaia?

Gaia: S̵y̵s̴t̷e̵m̴ ̷O̵v̸e̷r̸l̸o̵a̶d̵.̶ ̴S̴o̸u̵l̴ ̵G̵e̷m̸ ̴C̵o̴r̴e̸ ̴C̸o̶m̷p̷r̵o̶m̵i̸s̶e̶d̵.̸ *Warning messages flash across her sensors in red letters, her visual cameras distorting and powering down* Ḙ̶̿m̶̮̅e̶̥̔r̵̻͐g̵̟͑ẹ̶̃n̴̢͑c̶͊͜y̵̩̐ ̴̧̓S̷̭̀h̷̡̊ṳ̷͌t̵͕͛ḑ̷̉o̵̼̓w̶̤͠n̸̟̒ ̴̪͆I̴̖͝n̷͉͆i̷̙͐t̷̩͒i̶͈̿-̴̫͘ I̶͔͒n̸͖͗i̷͙̾-̶̛̝ ̵̹͂Ä̵͍t̶͓̐e̵̟̊-̷͕̌ ̶́ͅṪ̶͈e̷͕̓-̸̢͂Ț̸̏e̴̖͘-̷͇́T̵̝̋è̸̜-̷̱͂T̴͜͝e̷̙̊ḋ̴̳.̶̭́.̴̺̆.̴̻͝

Kaidan: Gaia?!

Gaia: *drops to her knees, falling limp as her once white eyes turn completely black, like a de-activated screen*

Kaidan: *tries to catch her as she falls, nearly collapsing under her weight and falling on top of her* Gods- All that metal is way too heavy-

Inigo: What happened to her?? That didn't smell natural! I-I mean, nothing about her exactly smells natural, but it wasn't the regular sort of-

Kaidan: I don't know, we killed the dragon like we were supposed to!

Lucien: A-And then it- it disintegrated?! And attacked her again?? But it didn't look like an attack, it looked more like-

Gaia: S̶y̵s̷t̶e̷m̶ ̵R̶e̸s̷t̷a̸r̴t̶ ̴I̴n̴i̴t̵i̴a̵t̷e̷d̸.̵

Lucien: Eek!

Gaia: *eyes fade white, a blue line encircling her pupil, rotating in a circle* . . .

Inigo: Gaia? Are you okay, my friend?

Gaia: ... Y̵e̵s̸,̴ ̶I̶'̵m̶ ̶q̵u̵i̵t̸e̷-̶ *ahem* I'm quite alright. There is no need to be concerned.

Kaidan: No need?? You just completely shut down after you defeated that dragon! We thought it actually managed to kill you!

Gaia: That is impossible. Even if a dragon can damage me, I highly doubt I would meet my demise to one.

Lucien: Then what was that?? You said that your soul gem was compromised.

Gaia: Did I? I have no recollection of this. I must have said something in the midst of my shutdown.

Inigo: ... I think maybe that whole dragon fight must have messed with your brain, my friend. How about we just go back to Whiterun and tell the Jarl that big gasbag is dead, hm?

Gaia: Understood. I will run an analysis on my hardware on the journey back, and inform you all of any irregularities.

Lucien: Are you sure you're alright to stand already? That must have been a lot for you.

Gaia: Please do not worry about me. I was built to handle things like this and continue functioning properly.

Kaidan: To hell with that. Here, lean on me and I'll help you walk.

Gaia: ... Request Accepted. Thank you, Kaidan. You really don't have to go through the trouble.

Kaidan: 'S fine. I'm just worried.

Gaia: ...

~

Gaia: Dragonborn?

Balgruuf: You absorbed that dragon's power, killing it eternally. No one else could do that but a Dragonborn.

Gaia: I am afraid there has been some sort of mistake. It is biologically impossible for me to be Dragonborn. I have no blood of a dragon, and the only soul I have is- *her words are interrupted by a bright flash, her eyes flipping from red, to yellow, to green, and back to white* Analysis Complete. ... What on earth?

Kaidan: What's up? You found something?

Gaia: When my soul gem was compromised.. My analysis found more than the one soul encapsulated in the soul gem. The second, newer one is draconic in nature.

Lucien: The dragon's soul?

Gaia: I suppose so, yes. Alongside that, while I had always been able to translate the word walls from the Merethic ruins, I feel a deeper meaning within the word 'fus', the word of force in the dragon tongue. It is.. a very strange sensation.

Kaidan: A Shout, maybe. Like how the Greybeards summoned you to High Hrothgar.

Gaia: Hm..

Lucien: What are you thinking about now, Gaia?

Gaia: The earliest recorded history I can find of the term 'Dragonborn' stems from a Dragon Priest in the Merethic Era who was said to be blessed by Akatosh, but turned down a path of Daedric worship. And then the Slave-Queen Alessia in the early First Era. Here in Skyrim, the Dwemer only heard rumors and tales of the Nedic rebellion, but the stories of Alessia being Dragonborn were legend.

Lucien: How fascinating! I knew of Alessia being the first Dragonborn in Cyrodiilic history, but a Dragon Priest? A servant to the dragons, given the power to destroy the dragons! It all sounds very ironic.

Gaia: All men that learned the Thu'um in opposition to the dragons were given that power, if only more temporary than the permanent solution.

Kaidan: .. Do you think that soul in your soul gem was Dragonborn? That's why you absorbed the dragon's soul?

Gaia: It's.. very likely. However, soul gems are very much limited in capacity compared to the organic body of a living Dragonborn. Experimentation to see how many dragon souls this gem can carry in addition to its own would be.. risky. *raises her hand over her chest, covering it protectively* ... I must not let the soul gem shatter.

Kaidan: Aye. We'll have to be careful then. It's your call what you want to do about these Greybeards.

Gaia: Hm. We will request an audience with them at a later day. As of now, none of you received any proper first aid after fighting the dragon. I say we are going to the Temple of Kynareth right this instant.

Inigo: Hehe. She is like a doting mother.

Kaidan: Don't go forgetting you got damaged too, Gaia. We'll have to stop by Adrienne's and borrow her forge to mend your parts.

Gaia: Noted. However, human safety comes before mechanical repair.

Kaidan: Yeah, right. Don't tempt me into dragging you right past the temple.

Gaia: If I recall correctly, you couldn't keep me off the ground when I shut down.

Kaidan: Well you're all metal! I wasn't expecting it, is all. Just you wait, someday very soon I'll be carryin' you everywhere just because I can!

Gaia: *the corners of her lips twitch up, almost in a smile, but fall back into a blank expression quickly*

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s hard to deny that in the 2000s, Will Ferrell was the comedy star. Starting off with minor roles in stuff like Austin Powers and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ferrell hit it big in 2003 with the Christmas classic Elf, and then followed that up with the wacky newscaster comedy masterpiece Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. From there, the hits just kept coming: Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, Blades of Glory, Stranger Than Fiction, Curious George, and even a hilarious one-scene cameo in the Wedding Crashers. The man was on top of the world!

But then came 2009’s Land of the Lost. Based on a campy 70s sci-fi series, the movie was a pretty big bomb coming from such a massively successful actor; on a budget of a hundred million, it only managed to make about sixty-nine million back. Director Brad Silberling was relegated to producing TV after this, and poor Ferrell’s prospects as a leading man completely shriveled up overnight. After this, he basically has only co-starred in stuff like The Other Guys or done voice work for films like Megamind and The Lego Movie. Any attempts to get him back on top have been pretty middling, to put it lightly; does anyone remember Anchorman’s sequel? Does anyone want to remember Holmes & Watson?

But come on, it’s a 2000s Will Ferrell comedy! He was in his prime back then! Surely this wacky spoof of some goofy show from the 70s couldn’t honestly be that bad, right? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Was it justice that Will Ferrell’s promising leading man rep was lost harder than a Sleestak’s skin during sex, or is this a hidden gem unfairly judged because people didn’t understand it was meant to be a parody?

THE GOOD

The Sleestaks are easily the best part of the film, at least when they don’t have those awful CGI mouths transplanted on them. The suits look great, they’re weirdly adorable lizard people, and they mercifully didn’t go with the awful, edgy redesign from the 90s reboot. These guys are pure goofy 70s camp. 

The score of all things is solid too. Michael fucking Giacchino did the score! And it fucking rocks! Unbelievable!

...Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

THE BAD

Oh where do I even fucking start? How about with Ferrell himself?

Look, I’m a big Will Ferrell apologist. His comedies tend to be absurdly lowbrow, especially something like Step Brothers, but he has a certain manic energy that makes him fun to watch. Here, though? All of the negative aspects of his acting are cranked up t eleven. He’s shoutier, he’s douchier, he’s just obnoxious and ridiculous… He’s just utterly unpleasant in this role.

It’s not like anyone else is remotely pleasant, though! Danny McBride especially is obnoxious in this film, and Anna Friel is boring and forgettable, but as bad as they are neither of their characters hold a candle to Chaka. Played by Jorma Taccone (of all fucking people!), he is an obnoxious chattering monkey man who is basically treated like a servant and who is played so obnoxiously that I swear to God he feels like he’s racist somehow. I don’t know what race this would offend, but it just has some sort of rancid vibes that only a racist caricature does.

The CGI throughout this film is just utterly ass. Like there is an awful CGI dinosaur antagonist, and at one point Will Ferrell vaults into its mouth, and at another he slides down its back, and both of them are effects so bad they make Sharktopus look like Avatar in comparison. I’m guessing that hundred million mostly went to Ferrell’s paycheck and the Sleestak suits, because it sure as hell didn’t go into the visuals.

Truly the worst thing about this movie is that its very existence feels cruel and mean-spirited. I have never watched the original show at all, but this parody is absolutely barefaced with its contempt for the source material. It just oozes a lack of care, passion, or respect beyond surface level stuff like the Sleestaks; do you know how much the characters are mangled from the show to the screen? The big bad of this movie is a fucking ally on the show! Imagine if they made a movie based on Scooby-Doo and they made oh, I don’t know, Scrappy a villain, wouldn’t that fucking su—wait.

At least in that movie’s case it was one singular lame element. This movie is just an excruciating exercise in being as lame and unpleasant as possible. It genuinely feels like it was just made because they had the rights to Land of the Lost and then they remembered the name of Ferrell’s character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and decided they needed a Ferrell vehicle.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I know absolutely nothing about this series. I have no emotional attachment to it at all. I’ve never seen a single episode. But I don’t think you even have to watch a single episode to know that this movie is a slap in the face to fans of it. The entire thing just feels spiteful, and coming from a place of sheer malice. Yes, this film is that fucking bad, I can totally see why it blew up Ferrell’s career, and honestly it should count itself lucky that it has been forgotten because I say this film deserves even more hate. This is The Love Guru levels of bad. That 5.3 up there is beyond generous; this is easily a contender for the bottom 100 of IMDB, but I guess that would require anyone to give a shit about it.

But hey, as a non-fan, maybe my opinion doesn’t hold as much weight as what a truefan of the series would say. Thankfully, I have one of those on call, and here’s his summation of this film’s quality:

Hey, it’s me, @unadulteratedpiratepizza​, and I’m here to take you on a journey back in time! Long before streaming services, TV shows aired their new episodes on different designated times and days of the week, and Saturday mornings were the slot for new episodes of children’s programming. Back in the 70’s, long before me and Michael were born, the brothers Sid and Marty Kroft were the kings of that time slot, with their bizarre plots and expert use of their low budget, bringing us classics such as H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, and the subject of today’s review, Land of the Lost.

Land of the Lost was a high-concept soft Sci-Fi series exploring the adventures of Rick Marshall and his children Will and Holly, as they explore a bizarre world full of danger and mystery. They must survive hungry dinos, aggressive lizard people, and even time-displaced humans, as they search for the truth of this world and a way to get back home.

Unlike the high energy upbeat shows the Kroffts were known for, LotL was more serious in tone at times, with a pretty consistent world and strong stories. LotL had a team of prolific Sci-Fi writers, a number of which worked on the original Star Trek, which had the effect of some of the stories feeling like TOS episodes. No jokes, “The Stranger '' is such a strong episode with heavy Star Trek vibes, written by Walter Koenig, the actor for TOS’s Chekov.

When I said the Kroffts knew how to use a low budget I meant it, using stop-motion for all the dinos and reusing that footage constantly, cheap costumes and goofy special effects, this show had it all! But, you could have the best special effects in the world and that would amount to nothing without strong acting, and boy does Land of the Lost deliver on that. Everyone is bringing 110% to this show, which is so surprising given that child actors aren’t usually considered the best for serious roles, but when I hear these children scream for their lives as goofy costumed lizardmen shamble towards them, by god I feel like the Sleestak are the most terrifying creatures in the world.

All and all, Land of the Lost was a strong and fun show that took its world seriously, but still had plenty of room for light-hearted fun. It is unfortunate that by the 3rd and final season, most of the writers had moved on, and the actor who played the dad had also left, leaving it the weakest of the three, but I can still say this is a show I highly recommend, especially if you like old Star Trek.

The 2009 Will Ferrell led remake sucks.

And I think that’s all that needs to be said about that. Anyway, here’s a picture of a nightmarish, terrifying predator with a couple of Sleestaks. 

[davekat-sucks]

oh My GOOOOODDDDD tghank you LarsxSadie anon for bringing that up, and davekat-sucks for posting it!!! Seeriously, wtf was that decision for? I can't properly explain to the people who weren't in those fucking trenches, just how LONG they strung that relationship around... Like holy shit dude, waiting during a one/two year long hiatus, only to be greeted by Townie garbage, after an intense story episode... UGH.

You sink all that time and energy into the relationship drama, when you COULD have used it for more gem lore-- something a majority of the fans found faaar more interesting-- and you just...fucking. DO IT ALL OFF SCREEN. AFTER WASTING ALL OUR COLLECTIVE TIME ON BULLSHIT. "it was pwivate steven... :'''c" BITCH. R U FORREAL????

They didn't wanna show a therapy montage for Steven's trauma either, because that was ALSO """"""private""""" BUT! His entire mental breakdown, arguably one of his lowest, most emotionally fragile moments... "Oh, that's kosher babey~ Greenlight that shit! 🤪👍"

Now don't get me wrong, I liked SU: Future a lot! I appreciate that Steven got to have morally grey characterization, and that his traumas were explored! I just don't like how they claimed some things should be private, then immediately go back on their word for something else. The writers and artists could've done something about it, they just weren't interested in exploring it. Be forthright with your intentions, and don't give me the privacy excuse. Like, it's called a show for a reason, so S-H-O-W, y'know? :\

I don't mind certain townie episodes if it can also have more themes like with Peedee of having job since he is growing up or cool kids helping him relax away from Gem stuff. Hell, let Steven also ATTEND SCHOOL with Connie to help him connect more with his human side. I think that's the problem. Sure Steven gets time to do things like go to amusement park and eat, but it makes us question more that once he leaves for good, it's a mystery on how he will survive in the real world. He has no high school degree, not attending college, and is basically out on his own. Hell, we don't know about the state of the outside world that's not Beach City to assume if he will be okay or not after all the shit happened. We go to a new city and see assholes in the highways, but it's not enough to assure us that Steven will be fine as a wanderer that when other strangers go see him, will they give him open arms or hesitant that this hobo is just driving out forever. Part of the blame is on Cartoon Network's side for cutting them short. But I also blame the writers for not not showing enough and just give vague explanations of what happened. If they want people to fill in the blanks of what happens, fine. But the execution of future timeskip feels like rushed. If they are gonna explain in submaterials like art books or spin-offs, that isn't gonna cut it. I'm on the belief that what it is said on the canon material is there. Don't say added information from things like side streams or interviews if you didn't have the balls to say it in your actual work that people watch/read. Everybody is pulling a JK Rowling these days that it's not even funny.

[thehitchhikerguide]

The Start of the Journey

Back in the mid-1990s, I was at a babysitting gig late at night. The kids were in bed and I was waiting up for the parents to come home while sleepily watching their TV. It was close to midnight and suddenly the strangest sound I've ever heard came out of the television. A creepy show that I had never heard of appeared on the screen and while it gave me an uneasy feeling, I was instantly glued to the screen. I told my sister about it and we watched out for it the following week. We both got that same creepy, uneasy feeling but couldn't stop talking about it.

Turns out this was a thriller anthology show from the 1980s that had aired on HBO called The Hitchiker. It featured the titular Hitchiker character as sort of a moral evangelist, only showing up at the beginning and end of each episode. The episodes themselves featured actors we've all seen in crazy plots that sometimes border on the supernatural and mostly teaches the main character some sort of lesson is a horrifying way. It had a run on HBO in the 1980's and in the 90's (when I discovered it), it had a brief run in syndication. To say I was hooked as a highschooler looking for cool stuff on TV was an understatement

I think the show disappeared off the channel eventually. I went to college and kind of forgot about it. But it never left my mind completely. I would see if anyone else had heard of this show when some random thing would remind me of a scene. I felt like I was the only person who knew about it.

Finally at the end of the 90's, the internet was becoming a place where you could look up lost media. Back in the late 2000's I purchased a DVD set, but was incredibly disappointed to find out it only had a very limited selection of episodes. There were some episodes I had distinctly remembered watching late at night that were not featured, which made me more upset.

A few months back I was describing some of the absolute bonkers plots to my fiancé, and I realized that I wanted to see if I could actually go back and watch all the episodes of the show. I feel like there are more hidden gems than just in the so-called "complete" collection that was released. And that is what I am planning to do - to rewatch the whole series (or what I can) from the beginning and share with the world my love for this show.

So here we go...weeeeoooooooowwwwwww. The start of my hitchhiking journey where I ride along with Page Fletcher (who as you must know IS the Hitchhiker), meeting crazy characters in messed up scenarios along the way.

Beware though...there will be spoilers. Watch along if possible - it will be a hell of a ride.

[miniaturemoonheart]

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The Keanu Reeves 'Constantine' Is A Better Movie Than You Remember

Orrin Grey

Orrin Grey

Updated October 16, 2019

252.8k views

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Released in 2005, director Francis Lawrence's Constantine starred Keanu Reeves as the DC Comics/Vertigo character, though fans were quick to note that this movie version of John Constantine didn't look or sound much like the one from the comics. Originally created by Alan Moore, the Constantine of the Hellblazer comics is an irreverent, foul-mouthed Brit with blond hair while the movie version is played by the dark-haired Reeves - who thankfully does not attempt a British accent as he did in 1992's Bram Stoker's Dracula - and the action moves to Los Angeles.

For some fans of the comics, the differences were a deal-breaker, which may have had something to do with the film's poor critical performance - it only has a 46% on Rotten Tomatoes. Also telling, however, is that Constantine came out on the heels of Reeves's role in the Matrix trilogy, leading to unfair comparisons to those very different films. Also, comic book movies hadn't really found their footing yet in 2005. After all, the first Guillermo del Toro Hellboy came out only the year before and Iron Man was still three years away.

Whatever the reasons, a lot of people dismissed Constantine when it first came out, despite the presence of a truly devilish devil and no shortage of visual panache. With Reeves back in the spotlight thanks to the John Wick franchise, it's time to take another look at this unsung gem of a movie. You might be surprised to learn that 2005's Constantine is a better film than you remember.

Peter Stormare Plays One Of The Most Memorable Movie Satans

Peter Stormare Plays One Of The Most Memorable Movie Satans

Photo: Warner Bros.

Early in the film, Constantine is told that his is the only soul Satan will come up to collect in person, which is exactly what happens during the climax. Played by Peter Stormare, we're first introduced to Constantine's Satan as boiling tar drips down onto the floor from his bare feet and stains the hem of his white pants. Decked out in a white suit, he pulls up a chair to taunt Constantine, and the combination of Stormare's gentility and strange mannerisms sell one of the most unforgettable devils ever put on screen.

If you aren't sold on Stormare's Satan the moment he shows up, you will be by the time he confronts the "half-breed" angel Gabriel. "Son of perdition!" Gabriel calls him. "Most unclean!" Stormare smiles and practically purrs, "I do miss the old names."

Hell Is Depicted As Undergoing A Perpetual Nuclear Blast

Hell Is Depicted As Undergoing A Perpetual Nuclear Blast

Photo: Warner Bros.

When it came to creating the look of hell in Constantine, director Francis Lawrence had a unique vision. "His idea was that hell is a parallel universe," visual effects supervisor Mike Fink explained. "It exists in another dimension as a complete replica of our world. You have the same buildings, the same streets, and the same rooms. The difference is that everything seems to be perpetually hit by a nuclear heat wave. This universe keeps decaying forever. It just never stops."

Creating the effect took seven vendors and an extended period of filming, but the result is a vision of hell like no other. Palm trees burn as a ruined LA skyline looms on the horizon. A radioactive wind picks apart everything in sight and cadaverous demons swarm among the souls. To get the visuals right, the FX team looked at actual footage of nuclear blasts that had been declassified for the 1984 TV movie The Day After.

The Film Is Littered With Visual Tics And Gags

Photo: Warner Bros.

Whether it's as subtle as the numbers 666 hidden in the logo painted on the wall of the bowling alley where John Constantine lives, or as obvious as the billboard that reads "got faith," there are plenty of visuals buried in Constantine's textured depiction of LA.

The film's MacGuffin is the Spear of Destiny, which pierced the side of Christ, and it is found buried beneath the concrete ruins of what was probably once a church, its three crosses now forming a nod to Golgotha, where Jesus was crucified. Another time, as Constantine is bent over coughing in the rain, he looks up to see a billboard that says "Your time is running out... to buy a new Chevy."

'Constantine' Is A Supernatural Film Noir

Photo: Warner Bros.

A hard-drinking, chain-smoking freelance exorcist who has literally been to hell and back, the John Constantine of the movie is a detective character brought into a world populated by supernatural beings who he calls "half-breeds," and he is caught up in a wager between God and the Devil.

The movie trades in plenty of film noir staples. Constantine has been around and seen it all, or so he thinks until a woman who is more than she appears brings new trouble into his life. There are doubles - Rachel Weisz appears as a pair of twins - and double-crosses, and everyone is playing a long game with much higher stakes than they thought. What starts out as a simple enough investigation turns out to be part of a much bigger conspiracy. And, of course, while there's no Maltese Falcon, Constantine does have its very own MacGuffin, in the form of the "Spear of Destiny," the lance that pierced Jesus Christ.

Constantine even delivers a Philip Marlowe-style voiceover before the credits roll. Leah Schnelbach makes a good case for Constantine as a modern film noir over at Tor.

The Mystic Is Preserved By Ambiguity

Photo: Warner Bros.

The mechanics of heaven and hell are pretty straightforward and the theology of Constantine is heavily rooted in Catholicism, but there are still plenty of unexplained plot points in this film. For fans of ambiguity in the supernatural, that's a real selling point.

After all, there's very little wonder in a world where everything is explained, and a film like this could easily get bogged down with too much exposition. We understand the rules of the wager between God and the Devil and what "half-breeds" are and how demons work, but we're never told what that keyring of symbols Constantine flips through during the first exorcism is, or what he wraps around his hand when the demons attack outside his apartment, or just what exactly Papa Midnite's powers even are.

Constantine's world is full of things we never see, which is a treat for those who like their supernatural to feel numinous and real.

The Demons Are Successfully Creepy

Photo: Warner Bros.

While most of the fights in Constantine are between the titular character and human-looking "half-breeds," there had to be some actual demons thrown into the mix. Besides a "Vermin Man" made up of bugs and snakes and other critters, most of the demons in the film look like human cadavers that are missing the top half of their head. It's a striking visual, and one that was inspired by actual photographs of autopsies and the work of Polish artist Zdzisław Beksiński. Once the concept art was approved, it was sent to Stan Winston Studios and Tippett Studio to bring the demons to life.

Filed under:Keanu ReevesConstantine (Film)EntertainmentDC ComicsHorrorSuperhero & Comic Book MoviesRanker ComicsTotal NerdRe-EvaluationActorsFilmComics

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[c3s6]

ok so i heard the screen gems s from hell theme and woke up

i had this weird dream where I contacted rick from the rickroll videos??? and then I watched vintage logos I think???

the last thing I saw was a 1960s tv iirc and it was showing a logo that was red and gold and probably looked deteriorated and stuff and it was for some random production company. i also remember seeing a screen gems logo I assume as if it was an IAW? (in association with, if you don’t know what that means)

but it said something along the lines of “a (blank) backup production for screen gems” and I woke up to the s from hell theme.

there is also a chance that I heard a tv from downstairs in my house because it is 7:34 am as im typing this sentence. i probably heard the s from hell at 7:30, my brain could’ve just played it in my mind.

so I’m ruling it down to something. there’s a channel in my area, over the air, with old westerns called grit. my dad was watching it last night on the kitchen tv. it must’ve got turned on by mom and it could’ve just been playing the logo.

i don’t think that’s the case. but it most likely played in my brain. I woke up during the middle of the theme and I kinda felt terrified. then I got on my tablet and checked every notification and also decided to post this dream I had.

[stahp-right-there-peasant]

I'm sorry but what the hell is Shimmer Mephone???

I’m glad you asked!

Shimmer!MePhone4 is an AU/theory of mine, where MePhone is directly connected to the Shimmers. This is because he (and his body) are powered by the energy taken from the last unaccounted for Shimmer egg!

Basically, he’s part Shimmer, part (robot/artificial) object, as the energy of the shimmer (and therefore the shimmer themself) is now completely interwoven with him and his consciousness.

(Kind of like how Steven from Steven Universe is one and the same with his gem, even if it originally was another being but now has integrated itself into the new body/person)

Where things get interesting is that the shimmer wasn’t fully formed when incorporated into MePhone4’s body, which preemptively gave consciousness to it before it had “hatched” so very little of the shimmer’s abilities actually shone through, due to having not actually developed.

But when the shimmer would have been actually ready to hatch if it had still been an egg, that’s when the Shimmer traits + abilities begin to manifest on MePhone4 (including having his screen crack in a similar way as the shimmer eggs do when they hatch, as well as (entering headcanon territory) growing antenna and having some shimmer energy gather at the end of his charger tail.)

so yeah :D that’s basically what my Shimmer!MePhone4 idea is!

[iisuya-simps]

Hello! May I please request headcanons with the buster bros (+Samatoki? If that’s okay!) with an S/O who is into anime + idol (rhythm) games? Thank you! Hope you’re having a good day/night 💙

A/N: *Rubs hands together* Buckle up yall, this is a long one. I may have had too much fun writing this... :p lol enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ichiro Yamada

Ichiro first saw you at a manga cafe rocking some merch from your favorite game franchise and had to go over and talk to you

he also found out that you're into anime too

he may try and quiz you to test how into games/anime you are

his eyes light up and his heart pounds but he plays it cool

after a long interrogation conversation, he asked if you would meet him back at the cafe next week

he lent you the latest issue of a light novel that you never got around to reading

now he would have an excuse to see you again

a few months later one of your favorite animes was being played in the theatre once so you both went on a date to see it

if its a sappy rom-com he will 100% deny that he cried and brush it off as an eyelash caught in his eye

but he totally did

to be fair you did too

though he may prefer light novels over anime most times

he will totally sit down at watch the new season of an anime you two enjoy together

prepare for a brain malfunction if you tell him you're into cosplaying

"oh yeah I cosplayed them a year ago"

"y-you wouldn't happen to have any pictures, w-would you?"👀"

*cue nosebleed*

"That's it, I've found my soulmate" he says he's kidding but actually means it

ANYWAY

him being a weeb

Ichiro is also well versed in rhythm games

he will tell you if your waifu/husbando is trash or not

you both have your own little superstitions and rituals you do before gacha pulls

you might use a certain finger to click the screen because that's the lucky one

Ichiro turns the volume up and closes his eyes before clicking

"What no way!! CLICK MY SCREEN! YOU'RE LUCKY TODAY!"

"AHHH thank you y/n! Look at them! They're so cute!"

you both marvel over the cute characters

he is totally impressed by the songs you can do on pro/master

"NO WAY A FULL COMBO?!?!! You're amazing!" 😍

he will totally challenge you to see who can get a better score

but you always win

he did come close a few times

but gets flustered and flubs it up at the end when you're watching over this shoulder

he finds it cute when you're humming along to the songs while DESTROYING the beat map

Bonus+

*you unbox a package left on the doorstep to find a scanty cosplay* "Ichiro, what is this?!?" "What? I thought you would look cute in it" ;p "I'm not dressing up as your favorite idol!" "wh- babe why not?!" :"( "ok maybe..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jiro Yamada

Like Ichiro, Jiro is a big nerd too

you two met in a soccer match of all places

you were taking a break during halftime when you quoted a line from some weird obscure anime

"No way you watch ___ too? I thought I was the only one!"

you haven't seen each other before because you're on different teams from rivalling schools

after the game he gives you his number then the rest is history

you two end up messaging each other all night talking about other animes and games you enjoy

he likes sports animes along with action and adventure

you also found out he plays rhythm games too

after a while, he'll invite you over to the Yamada household and show you his collection of light novels and games

"There's more where this came from, my big bro is a bigger nerd than I am."

you'll sit down on his bed and show each other your cards and play a few songs

"Jiro why is your tap sound louder than the music!?!?"

"I need to hear the beats or I'll fail the stage!!"

He might challenge you to see who can get a higher score

you both play on hard

but you're pretty evenly matched

"Haha! That's a point for me, y/n!"

"No fair! I don't know that song very well..."

If you don't have the best gacha luck Jiro will cry with you during your loss

he's not much better...

"NOOOO I PULLED THE WORST ONE"

and because of that, this boy spends all of his allowance on gacha...

"Jiro, don't tell me you actually bought a gacha pass..."

"I SPENT ALL OF MY GEMS TRYING TO GET THEM SO I HAD TO!"

"JIRO!!!"

"Y/N PLEASE, I NEEDED THEM!!" (╥_╥)

Bonus+

"Here Jiro I got you this." He excitedly opens the package. "No way! A ___ Figure??!" "They're your favorite right?" "YESS" He sets the figure down and bear hugs you. "Thank you y/n, I'll treasure this forever!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saburo Yamada

Saburo picked up anime from his brothers

they would all watch action animes together as kids

until Saburo started a fight with Jiro and they tried to one punch each other out of existence

"HEY GUYS CUT IT OUT YOU'RE NOT FRIKKIN SAITAMA"

ahem. moving on...

Saburo is a nerd too

but he may be a bit more casual (in his own way)

he spotted you playing a rhythm game in the corner of the hall during lunch break

"Is that _____? I play ______"

"Oh really? Whos your favorite?"

"What? you like them?!? You have no taste..."

"W-what?! Shut up! their cards always have good stats!"

"But look how pretty this one is!"

you two quickly become friends and meet up every lunch and discuss things like your methods to preserve gems

Saburo likes making charts and spreadsheets to predict what event will be next and what characters are featured

"Haha! look y/n I totally called it!"

He likes collecting cards and comparing the stats

cause that's fun too I guess :/

He must assemble the best possible unit

I can see you two having competitions to see who can get the best score

or who can rank higher in an event

Saburo is very good at analyzing the beat map at first glance

he will also point out patterns he sees to try and help you understand the rhythms

he usually plays on hard and pro

while you do pretty well on normal or hard

he likes a good action/fantasy anime

but he likes sci-fi too

maybe even mystery

he was nervous asking you over to his place to watch anime

because you suggested a slice of life rom-com

does this mean he makes a move or you just watch it together and that's it O_o

Bonus+

"Yes! New high score! Y/n, did you see that?" You giggle. Good job Saburo. You lean over to kiss his cheek then see the smoke coming out of his ears. "Y-y/n!" *blush blush* "Hehe, you're so cute when you're nerding out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samatoki Aohitsugi

Rio invited Samatoki out to a neat cafe because they offered cool exotic blends

When they walked in Samatoki was intrigued spotting your crazy colored hair and tattoos from the corner of his eye

which was weird cause that's not his type

or maybe it was

After ordering the coffee and sitting down Rio noticed that he was distracted

"I see you staring, why don't you go over and talk to her?"

"I wasn't staring! But there's just something about her..."

you were sitting in the corner of the cafe reading manga when he approached you a few minutes later

"uh hey, I like your tattoos"

"Oh thanks! Do you watch___ too?"

*casual panic* "Oh yeah totally, what are you reading?"

You knew he was faking it but continued anyway

"Eh, what's the difference?" 😮 "The difference is--"

He didn't know much about what you were saying but he loved watching you talk about something you were obviously passionate for

through an hour or so of conversation, you realized you both had more in common than you thought

he asked if you would like to do something like this again and gave you his number

You were happy to explain plots of random animes and games to him

Samatoki may not get the appeal but he likes seeing you happy

You go on a few dates and make your relationship official

he's absolutely fascinated by you and your nerdiness

"BABE!!!" "What is it?! Are you ok!?" "I JUST GOT A SSR CARD OF (insert favorite character here)"

Tch, *rolls his eyes. "That's good, right?" "LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!"

he may get a little jealous watching you fawn over you your fav

"Hmmph, why would you want a fictional character when you have a real man right here?"

*author sobs* :")

you let him try a song on normal difficulty

but it is still hard for him

"What the hell! Why are these notes coming at me so fast?!"

He doesn't pick up any manga or light novels

but he likes watching anime with you though

preferably a good action and or adventure one

he may become more interested when the female lead shows up on screen

hey, eyes up here buddy >:(

he won't say it but he secretly likes romcoms

maybe cause Nemu used to watch them growing up

I can see him getting so invested he'll yell at the characters

"Are you stupid?? She's trying to confess to you! Moron..." he huffs

(he does this with cooking shows too)

Bonus+

"Samatoki come on! The next episode of ___ is airing! You rush into the bedroom. "Hey, have you seen my pho-" "Shut up, I'm trying- to win." You laugh hysterically at him stealing your phone to get a full combo. "You got this babe, I believe in you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!