#season 2 was the last true 'horror' one

[stevie-petey]

episode nine: the fall

You shake your head at the teen in disappointment. “Never thought I’d have to say this, but please stop licking your sweater, Steve.” He puts his hands up in surrender, albeit with a slight scoff. “Sue a man for not wasting food.”

Summary: surprise ! life still carries on even with minor brain damage from constant concussions :( on the bright side, you and the gang all become homies. meanwhile, steve grapples with the warm fuzzies and parental issues before his worst nightmare happens: you meet robin. the horrors !

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, swearing, mentions of wounds

Words: 9.1k

Before you swing in: this is it !!! last official chapter of season 2 :) this chapter is pure fluff yall. just 9k words of utter disgusting bug n steve, so i hope it makes up for how long it took for them to get to this point lmao. enjoy !

-

True to your promise with Jonathan, nothing necessarily changes between the two of you; things just shift. You stop being so tactile with him out of respect for Nancy, now only reaching for his hand for comfort rather than to have him so near. It takes some trial and error, but eventually the two of you manage to strike up a good balance.

You still spend most of your days either together at his house or yours. Only now, Nancy accompanies you, and it’s lovely.

“Dustin told me that Steve practically drooled over you last night before the Snowball.” Jonathan teases you, hunched over his kitchen table scribbling a half-assed essay that’s already a day late.

Nancy giggles as you throw your pencil at the boy. “That did not happen, mind your own business.”

“I don’t know, Y/N. He kept staring at you today during lunch.” Nancy slides over her paper and taps her pencil on a particular problem she’s stuck on. She’s still getting used to talking about this with you, but she pushes aside her unease and tries anyway. “Do you know the answer for number five?”

Her words cause you to blush, your mind still reeling from your conversation with Steve last night. You told him you’d wait for him, and he looked at you as if you’d promised him the world and more. Then, today at lunch, Steve had boldly found you sitting with Nancy and Jonathan outside and joined.

It was a welcome change, and he sat so close to you that your thighs pressed together underneath the picnic bench you’d been eating at.

“He wasn’t staring at me,” you mumble, embarrassed and still feeling his weight pressed against you, before sliding your paper over to Nancy. “And I got Henry Ford.”

Frowning, Nancy erases her answer. “That makes no sense.”

“My answer or Steve not staring at me?”

“Both.” Nancy and Jonathan say at the same time.

You throw another pencil at Jonathan. “I wasn’t talking to you, write your late essay.”

He ducks, “Would you stop?”

“Not unless you stop speaking.”

“This is my house, bug–”

“And I can call your mom right now and she’d let me stay.” You cross your arms at Jonathan, knowing you’ve already won the argument. “Any more complaints?”

Jonathan goes back to writing his essay, grumbling under his breath about how you can’t keep pulling the mom card, and you giggle at his anger alongside Nancy. He’s the one who wanted the two of you to get along, he should’ve known that you and Nancy would just make his life miserable.

The three of you go back to working quietly at the table, you and Nancy occasionally asking each other for help on certain questions, while Jonathan grows more and more frustrated by his essay. After he’s angrily scribbled out his fifth line, Nancy snatches the paper from him and points towards the back door.

“Out,” she tells him.

Jonathan blinks. “What?”

“Go outside, take a small walk, and calm down. You’re frustrated and won’t get anywhere if you keep this up.”

They stare at each other, Nancy silently daring him to argue with her, and you watch in amusement. She has him wrapped around her finger, and after only a few seconds, Jonathan sighs and gets up from the kitchen table. “I’m doing this because I want to, alright?”

You snort. “Sure, buddy.”

He gives you the finger, presses a kiss to Nancy’s forehead, and then grabs a coat to go outside.

Once he’s gone, Nancy turns to you and sets down her pencil. “So, how long are you planning on pretending that Steve doesn’t like you?”

You whip your head up, dropping your pencil in the process, startled by her forward question. “I’m sorry?”

“You heard me.”

“I…” Though you’ve slowly gotten used to Nancy being with Jonathan, it still feels too soon to talk to her about Steve, even if she’s given you her blessing. It feels too raw, too inappropriate, to discuss it with her. “I don’t think we should talk about this–”

“C’mon, Y/N. It’s obvious he at least feels something for you, and if anyone deserves Steve, it’s you.” Nancy gently takes your hand, her voice sincere. “He came outside for lunch looking for you today, he drove you to the Snowball, he’s been visiting you at work ever since you smiled at him last year.”

You look away from her. “It’s… complicated.”

“It’s not…” Nancy swallows, clears her throat, and looks away as well. It still has taken her time to adjust to the shift between the four of you, to finally understand that it’s now okay to talk about these things with one another. “It’s not because of me, right?”

A beat of silence passes, and when you don’t say anything, Nancy sighs. “Shit.”

“He’s still healing, Nance.” You admit, feeling bad for bringing this upon her. You don’t want her to feel responsible for any of it, it’s not her fault that the boys you’ve loved have loved her first. The wound of it has healed now, though the scar that it has left will never fade.

You both know this, neither one of you want to admit it to the other.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She shakes her head, the familiar guilt of somehow always the one hurting you clawing at her. “I wish things had been different between me and him.”

You shrug, you don’t see any reason to blame her. “I don’t.”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t wish things had been different between the two of you,” you admit, knowing how bizarre it may sound. When Nancy raises her eyebrows, you’re quick to explain. “What I mean is, if Steve had never been with you, who knows who he’d be now? Or if Jonathan had never been my best friend, would you still have found each other?”

Nancy bites her lip, still unconvinced. “I don’t know, Y/N…”

“I think, truthfully, that we all unwound with who we were supposed to.” You’re not sure how to explain this, to express your unusual way of viewing such complex situations. “Without our histories, without being so intertwined with one another, I don’t think we ever would’ve unwound how we were supposed to. Does that make sense?”

“I think so,” Nancy nods, although hesitant. “And Steve is still… Unwinding from me?”

You cringe, knowing how silly it all sounds. “I know it sounds dumb, but he is, and while I’m not saying he doesn’t like me… I told him to take his time.”

“You’d really wait for him?”

“I would.”

Nancy sighs and goes back to her assignment, continuously amazed by your selflessness. “You’re too good.”

You shrug again, now used to being told this by others. It doesn’t bother you like it used to, you’ve come to view your kindness as something wholly yours and no one else’s to understand. It took so much violence to become so kind, and you will never, ever apologize for it now. “It adds to my charm.”

Jonathan walks back in right as Nancy bursts into loud laughter, you do as well, the remaining tension between you and her now gone. He sees the way she clutches her stomach and how you have to grab onto the table so you don’t fall over as you laugh. “Did I miss something?”

You wipe at your eyes, still giggling. “No, bee. Sit down and do your work.”

“Yeah,” Nancy giggles again, feeling breathless. “What Y/N said.”

“You two are the worst.” Jonathan slumps in his seat and goes back to his essay.

“You love us,” you tease, knowing that he hasn’t told Nancy this yet.

He smiles shyly and avoids Nancy’s eye. “Yeah, I do.”

They both blush and there’s a childish energy to them, shy and soft and sweet. You watch them with a warm smile, endlessly happy for them both; they’re sweet to watch, still shy around one another.

As you watch Jonathan and Nancy giggle softly as they help each other with their assignments, looking over at you for help as well, you know that junior year is finally starting to look up.

–

Steve continues to join you, Jonathan, and Nancy for lunch. He makes himself a permanent seat next to you, never once straying far from your side, and eventually he even ends up back in the library with the three of you.

It’s reminiscent of your sophomore year, back when you’d just defeated the Demogorgon and Nancy had gone back to Steve. For a brief few months, you’d all study in the library together and formed your own nice, albeit tense, group.

Then lines and threads became tangled and unspoken feelings became harsh actions.

Now, Nancy and Jonathan are whispering about something, off in their own world, and you’re currently helping Steve with an English assignment.

It’s the last day before winter break, so it’s hard getting him to pay attention to what you’re saying. All he can focus on is the way you’ve pinned your hair up, some pieces of hair falling over your face, and how you look so lovely in your white sweater.

“Are you listening to me?” You ask him, narrowing your eyes.

Steve coughs, knowing he’s been caught. “Yeah, totally.”

“Okay,” you cross your arms and lean back in your seat, distancing yourself from the boy, which only makes him frown. “What did I just say, then?”

“C’mere,” he huffs at you, tugging at your chair so that you’re now pressed flush against him; just the way he likes it. You blush, your stomach flutters wildly at the idea that he can’t be more than five inches away from you. Steve sees this, sends you a wink, and tries to use this to his advantage. “We both know I wasn’t listening, angel.”

Angel.

It’s become his new name for you, though he hasn’t said it since the night of the Snowball; the name drips from his lips as if saturated in sunlight. Although you want to litter his face with kisses and call him lovely and handsome and wonderful, you know that in this instance, Steve has only used the nickname to get on your good side.

And two can play that game.

“I don’t know, honey.” You lean in closer to Steve, angling your head so that you look up at him while you use your own name for him. His breath always hitches when you look up at him like this, when you call him honey again for the first time all sweet and soft. “I was hoping you’d been listening.”

Steve gulps, he’s still not used to the way your voice dips low when you want his attention. How when you call him honey he swears he can taste the residue of it in his mouth. He leans closer as well, your faces inches apart, and he’s forgotten what the two of you are even talking about. “I–I’m sorry?”

As soon as he’s apologized, you pull yourself away, just before Steve’s lips land on yours, and go back to the English assignment. You’re immensely pleased with yourself, especially when Steve almost face plants against the library table when you suddenly move away. “Apology accepted! Now, let’s go back to Shakespeare, shall we?”

Steve’s jaw drops, only now realizing that he’s been tricked. “Oh, that was evil, Y/N.”

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” You wink at him, and Steve has never wanted to kiss a smirk off of someone’s face more.

He’s addicted to it, honestly.

Later that day, once school has let out, Steve drives you to work. This was another shift that came with Jonathan and Nancy getting together. While your best friend still drives you to school, it’s now Steve who drives you to work and picks you up.

He enjoys spending the time with you, having you all to himself during the simple ten minute drive to Bookstrordinary. The two of you rarely say much during these drives, and it’s everything Steve could ask for and more; he simply has you with him, nothing else needs to be said or done.

Mrs. Waters greets him with a knowing smile, the woman has become more invested in Steve’s infatuation with you than even your mother. “Hello, young man.”

“Hi, Mrs. Waters.” Steve gives her a wave and walks over to his usual station: behind the counter, waiting for you.

You give your boss a quick hug and clock in. “Any new shipments today?”

“All the new books are in the back, so make sure your handsome man does all the heavy lifting, sweetie.” Mrs. Waters giggles at her own words before she slowly makes her way into her office.

“Well,” you nudge Steve. “You heard the woman, you’re a handsome man. Go do the heavy lifting.”

The compliment, though indirect, still rolls over Steve in slow, warm waves. He smiles bashfully at you. “Handsome, huh?”

“Oh, don’t pretend as if you didn’t know.” You flick his nose and walk over to the back door to start retrieving the new shipment. “Seriously, though. Could you help me with these boxes?”

Steve is quick to run over and help, he will always be happy to help you, but before he picks up a box, a thought occurs to him. Leaning against the doorframe, he smirks at you. “I’ll help, after you explain to me that little stunt you pulled earlier in the library.”

“What stunt?” A huff escapes you as you try to pick up a box, but Mrs. Waters had been right. The shipment is heavy, and Steve is currently useless.

“The whole ‘honey’ thing.”

You look up at Steve, knowing exactly what he’s asking, but you toy with him anyways. “Only if you explain the whole ‘angel’ thing.”

“C’mon, Y/N.” He groans, annoyed that you’re so good at dodging all of his questions. He doesn’t know what makes you Hendersons so great at deception, but it’s a terrifying thing to witness. “You’re an angel, it’s a fitting name for you.”

Though you’d been expecting him to say this, hearing Steve’s explanation still causes you to blush. Normally it bothers you when people call you an angel and act as if you’re some person above everyone else, but with Steve you know that he means it so genuinely. To him, you’re an angel because he knows you so well.

He doesn’t view you as this innocent creature that can do no wrong; Steve knows how you came to be, he knows the anger you once held, and it’s because of this that he has come to view you as angelic. It takes a lot for someone to become kind again, and Steve knows this better than anyone else.

“You’re sweet honey,” you finally respond, your face still warm from the vulnerability. You want to try for him, become okay with the feeling of being seen. “You asked for a nickname, and that’s what I’ve landed on. Any more questions?”

Steve practically melts against the doorway, and you almost giggle at the sight. “I’m honey?”

“Mhm, sweet honey, but honey sounds less dramatic.”

He laughs, his head is spinning and he’s so enamored with you. “Okay, I like that, but can I ask one more question before I agree to helping you?”

You roll your eyes but nod, secretly enjoying this moment with him. “Ask away.”

“Why honey? Not that I’m complaining, but…” Steve shrugs. “Not so creative.”

You gasp, “Are you saying you don’t accept my nickname for you?”

“No! I–” Steve frantically tries to correct what he’s said, but you grab his hand to calm him down.

“Relax, Steve. I was teasing,” you give his hand a squeeze, his fingers are strong against yours, and take a deep breath. The explanation is more intimate than you’d like, but he deserves to know. “Did you know that honey can be used to treat wounds?”

Steve shakes his head, silent as he listens.

“It’s a natural remedy, an unsuspecting cure, disguised as something only sweet.” You’re suddenly shy again, but you offer Steve more of yourself because you can; because he’s here, all warmth and love and summer. He’s healed wounds within you that you hadn’t known existed until you noticed their scars fading—cuts that have littered your skin from abandonment, guilt, and love. “When I was young, my dad would take me to this local farm on my birthday every summer and he would buy me honey. We’d use it to make sweet tea.”

You pause, the memory practically on your tongue as you remember the taste of the local farmer’s honey and how it would drizzle, slow and smooth, into your sweet tea. You remember your father’s laugh, how he would boast to the entire town that his sweet tea could win awards. “I never really liked tea, but my dad’s sweet tea was amazing.”

The honey had been his secret ingredient.

Steve is quiet after you’ve finished your story. He takes his time responding, he allows the story you’ve told to sink in, he rolls it around in his head, memorizes its details. He knows that you don’t like talking about your father, and the fact that you’ve shared a happy memory about him with Steve…

“Thank you,” he says. There’s a weight behind his thanks, he knows he will never be able to put into words how much this means to him. He tries, though, and pours every truth that he can into his words, “I love the nickname.”

The two of you begin unpacking the new shipment of books after that, working silently side by side.

It’s a lovely summer day within Bookstrordinary, even though it’s the middle of winter in Hawkins.

–

This Christmas Eve, you have your entire kitchen on lockdown. No one is allowed to come in, all food and drinks have been thrown onto the dining room table for others to use. Your hair is tied up, your apron is on, and you’ve banished Dustin from even looking at you.

“This is excessive, even for you.” Dustin scoffs from the living room, annoyed that he can’t even sit at the counter and watch.

You’ve just preheated the oven and are now whisking your dry ingredients together for Mike’s favorite brownies. There’s a rack of Will’s oatmeal raisin cookies on the counter cooling off, alongside Mrs. Wheeler’s sugar cookies she loves. “You lost your baking privileges when you mixed up the salt and sugar last year. Those gingerbread cookies were awful.”

“They’re both white! How was I supposed to know?”

“Stop talking and leave,” you point towards the living room with your whisk and some powder flies out of the bowl in the process.

Dustin tries to argue, but then the doorbell rings and he immediately breaks out into a shit eating grin. “Perfect timing.”

“What–” You try to question what your brother is up to, but he’s already run to answer the door. Sighing, you slowly mix in your wet ingredients and mumble to yourself, “I hate him. I really do.”

“Who do we hate?” Steve slides into the kitchen, not a care in the world, and slides right into Jonathan’s peanut butter cups. “Shit!”

“Steve!” You quickly catch the desserts, barely able to hold onto the bowl of brownie batter in your hands. Once the crisis is averted, you turn to Steve and begin hitting him with your batter covered whisk, effectively ruining his sweater. “What are you doing here?”

“I invited him!” Dustin now slides into the kitchen as well, a gleeful look in his eyes.

Meanwhile, Steve looks down at the batter he’s covered in and scraps some off with his finger before bringing it to his mouth. He hums, nods appreciatively, and smacks his lips. “Ya know, why haven’t I had this before?”

“The brownies are for Mike.” Dustin says, sneakily popping a peanut butter cup into his mouth.

“Wheeler should share, this batter is delicious.” Steve licks some more off of his sweater and you and Dustin cringe at him. When he sees this, he simply shrugs at you both. “What? My sweater is clean.”

You shake your head at the teen in disappointment. “Never thought I’d have to say this, but please stop licking your sweater, Steve.”

He puts his hands up in surrender, albeit with a slight scoff. “Sue a man for not wasting food.”

You blow a piece of hair out of your face and go back to the batter. “Again I ask: what are you doing here?”

“Like the kid said, he invited me.” Steve points to Dustin, who sends you a thumbs up. “Didn’t know I’d be walking into a war zone, though.”

“It’s Christmas Eve,” you say, as if this is all the explanation he needs. When Steve only tilts his head at you in confusion, you huff and put down your bowl so you can quickly explain. “I bake everyone their favorite desserts for Christmas, and normally it’s fine. However, now I have Max, Nancy, Hopper, and El to add to my baking list and I…”

You stumble, now suddenly feeling the effects of baking all day catching up to you. You’re slightly woozy, you can’t remember if you had lunch today. “I’m doing great, honestly.”

“She’s going insane.” Dustin loudly whispers to Steve, his fingers circling around his head in a “crazy” motion.

Steve ignores the boy and stands next to you, placing a hand to the small of your back and leans over your shoulder, allowing you to lean back against him. It’s a simple gesture, and you melt immediately against him. “Give me a bowl and recipe, angel. I’ll help you bake.”

You reluctantly move away from Steve and quickly find a piece of paper and a pen to scribble the recipe for Nancy’s chocolate chip cookies. It’s an easy enough recipe, you trust that Steve can handle the basics.

As you hand the recipe to him, Dustin’s jaw drops. “What, no fair! Why can’t I help bake?”

“Salt and sugar, Dustin. Salt and sugar.”

Steve gathers the ingredients he needs. “Do you have a spare apron?”

“I mean, sure,” you show him where one hangs next to the doorway. “But you’re already covered in brownie batter, so I’m not sure why you need one now.”

“Wanna match with you,” Steve quickly ties the strings around his waist, the apron is far too small on him and it makes you giggle.

Dustin, now very much third wheeling, throws his hands up in the air and marches out of the room. “You two are disgusting, ya know that?”

“Love you too!” You call after the boy, who responds by marching even louder towards his room.

With your brother gone and with Steve’s help, you manage to get through the rest of your baking list in no time. While you hadn’t expected Steve to necessarily fail in the kitchen, you were also pleasantly surprised by how comfortable he seemed to be while helping you bake.

“How’d you get so good at measuring sugar?”

Steve doesn’t look up from his measuring cup, too focused on the task at hand as he carefully counts out how many cups he will need. “My mom.”

“Oh,” you breathe out, not having expected the answer. He never really brought his parents up, something that you’ve noticed but never touched on with him. You figured it was like your father, never wanting to talk about someone who has hurt you.

Hesitantly, you try to learn more. “Does she bake with you a lot?”

“She used to,” Steve counts his third cup and mixes it into the bowl, now working on Max’s coconut bites. “Back when I was little, we used to bake her banana bread together all the time.”

His voice is light, the conversation isn’t a painful one for Steve, so you decide it’s safe to press further. “Well, if you can remember the recipe, I’m sure we can bake it today.”

Steve looks up at you, eyes wide. “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it, dummy.” The way he’s looking at you with such genuine enthusiasm makes your heart hurt; he’s surprised you’ve offered him kindness. “I was going to bake you those caramel banana cookies, so I have some ripe bananas anyways–”

You’re cut off by Steve’s arms wrapping around you. He holds you tight, and he smells of sugar and cinnamon; it’s an addicting scent. “Thank you,” he breathes out, touched that you would do such a thing for him, and you tighten around him, happy that you’re able to give him this.

Later that night, when you walk Steve to his car after a long day of baking, he opens his passenger side door and grabs something from the seat. You watch him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“You think I came all the way here on Christmas Eve without a gift for you?” Steve teases, a smirk on his face as he hides something behind his arms.

You gasp, “You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Dustin called, I answered, and I saw it as the perfect opportunity to surprise you,” he shrugs, as if it’s no big deal. “Plus, I got homemade banana bread out of it, so shush and close your eyes.”

“Fine, but only because I have your gift waiting in my room. The second we’re done here, I’m running inside and bragging about my impeccable gift giving abilities.”

Steve chuckles fondly, knowing that whatever you will give him will ultimately be his favorite gift he’s ever received. “Okay, moron. Close your eyes.”

With a giggle, you close your eyes and eagerly await whatever you’re about to be given. Steve’s gift from last year, a signed poster of the original Spider-Man comic, now hangs on your bedroom wall. You love it dearly, every time you look at it, you smile.

Something soft is placed within your hands. Its texture is woolen, the material is heavy yet lightweight, and while you can’t figure out exactly what it is, you can’t help but notice how expensive it feels. “Okay, open your eyes.”

You do, and when you see what Steve has given you, you gasp. “Oh, it’s beautiful!”

Within your hands is a cardigan. The wool it has been knitted with is a lovely cream color, and you bring the clothing closer to admire all the wonderful details within the knit pattern. With small pieces of wool, hints of baby blues and pinks weave in and out of the cream. Along the front are buttons made from a beautiful dark wood, polished to perfection.

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, well. Figured I owed you a new cardigan after basically tearing apart your old one.”

“I was bleeding out, Steve.” Your finger traces over a button, its wood is cool to the touch and so smooth that you can hardly believe it’s real. “If you hadn’t torn my favorite cardigan to stop the bleeding, I wouldn’t be alive today to call you an idiot for even considering I would be mad about that–”

As you admire one of the sleeves, your finger catches on something. Turning the clothing around, you see, within the inside of the sleeve, a messily sewn on patch. The stitches are crooked and horribly uneven, clearly done by someone unskinned with a needle. “What’s this?”

Steve clears his throat, uncharacteristically flustered. “Just… Something I added.”

The patch is small, no bigger than an inch or so, with messy handwriting on it that has become familiar to you through long hours at Bookstrordinary helping you write down all the orders needed for shipments.

S.H.

Steve must mistake your stunned silence for disgust, because he quickly tries to take the cardigan away from you in embarrassment. “Fuck, you–you think it’s weird and you hate it and I went too far–”

He had wanted to give you a piece of himself somehow.

His panicked rambling is cut off by your entire body being thrown against his. Suddenly he has an armful of you, flushed against him in the December chill, and Steve’s heartbeat threatens to beat out of his chest. He has you right where he wants you, in his arms with your perfume swirling around his brain as he buries his face into your hair.

Everything calms within him, all the panic and insecurity he had just been feeling is now gone.

“It’s perfect,” you whisper, not even bothering to hide the fact that you’re now crying. No one has ever made something for you, and the hand sewn patch that now resides on your beautiful cardigan makes everything within you burn.

Steve’s fingers slowly make their way to your hair and he risks pressing a kiss atop of your head. He relishes in the way his lips feel against your hair, how it feels like he’s done this all his life. “You really like it?”

“I love it.” You pull your head from his chest and catch his eye. They shine when they look at you, and you can’t help but think about how similar they look compared to last summer. Last July Steve had looked at you like he’d fall to his knees for you and kiss every crevice of your skin if you’d asked him to, and you had run away, terrified of the feelings you weren’t ready to face.

Now, as Steve stares down at you still as if you’re holding the sun within your hands, all you can think is home.

Home.

What a fascinating concept, being able to find a home within someone’s arms.

And it’s a fall like no other.

“I’m glad you love it,” Steve is breathless, both relieved and in awe that he’s done something to render you this speechless, that he has this effect on you.

Neither of you know how long you stand there wrapped in each other, but eventually you force yourself to detangle from the boy. When Steve groans at the loss of your touch, you gently shove him away with a smile. “I still owe you a gift, dummy.”

He thinks about this for a moment, hums to himself and taps his finger against his chin. You giggle, which is all he wanted to make you do, and finally he seems to come to a decision. “Fine, I will allow this because I wanna know what you got me.”

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” You flick Steve’s nose and begin walking towards your house. “I’ll be back in a second!”

Steve watches as you run back inside, the cardigan he has gifted you is clutched tightly to your chest, and he knows he’s falling as well. He can feel it, the slight tug within his chest that expands into a warmth that steadily beats alongside his heart.

As you promised, you’re back with a small box wrapped in a simple blue paper within no time. Only this time, you’re now wearing the cardigan and Steve’s heart skips a beat when he sees you.

You’re practically skipping as you return to his side, stupidly excited for Steve to see what you’ve gotten for him; you all but shove the gift into his hands. “Open it!”

He can’t help but laugh at your enthusiasm, though his heartbeat still hasn’t quite settled yet. “So bossy.”

You ignore Steve’s teasing and instead watch the look on his face as he unwraps the box and opens its lid. Within the box, tucked delicately between sheets of tissue paper, is a framed photo of Steve and Dustin.

A mix of emotions cross Steve’s face, from shock to curiosity to pure adoration. His lips part slightly, a slight gasp escapes him. “Y/N…”

You’re beaming, though you shrug as if it’s just another Monday for you. The photo is your favorite, taken the other day while they worked on a robot set that Steve had brought over. “Jonathan left his camera at my place a few weeks ago, and you and Dustin looked incredibly sweet working together, so… I snuck a picture while you two were busy bickering over drill bit sizes.”

In the picture, Dustin’s hands are gesturing wildly at Steve, his eyes manic, yet there’s a genuine smile on both of their faces despite the clear indications that they’re arguing. Tools are scattered around them and a poor, misshapen robot lays discarded on the table in front of them, long forgotten in the midst of their argument.

It’s the perfect photo, honestly.

Steve lets out a wet chuckle, his eyes are shining with fondness. “That kid is such a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, but you can’t help but love him anyway.” You nudge him, drawing his attention back to you. “It’s not often I see Dustin befriend someone so quickly, ya know.”

Steve ducks his head down, flushed from what you’re implying. “Yeah, well. He’s a good kid.”

“He is.” You stand on your tiptoes and press your lips against his cheek, before whispering into his ear, “and so are you.”

You feel Steve shiver, and he grips at your waist so that you can’t back away again. He pauses for a moment, allows your words to sink in and your kiss to seep throughout his body. There’s more he wants to say, his lips practically beg to be drawn to yours, but he takes a deep breath and says what he knows he can give you. “Merry Christmas, angel.”

“Merry Christmas, honey.” Your lips graze Steve’s ear and he shivers again. This, he knows, is where he was always meant to be.

–

Spring comes, and Steve doesn’t get into any of the colleges he applied for.

It’s a hard blow, and the months you’ve spent trying to rebuild his confidence comes crashing down within seconds.

Steve draws into himself, you don’t see him at school for a few days and he doesn’t stop by your work. He’s embarrassed, hiding from his shame of not being good enough to even get into Tech. He’s everything his father told him he’d be. A failure, an embarrassment to the Harrington name.

You give Steve a few days to himself, trusting that he’ll come back when he’s ready; you know how deeply he carries the weight of his father’s expectations. However, when almost a week goes by without any word from the teen, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Which leads you to now: knocking on Steve’s door with platters of fresh baked goods, Mike and the others holding their own assortment of snacks and movies for tonight.

It took a lot of bargaining and multiple batches of brownies, but in the end you convinced Dustin and the others to surprise Steve with a movie night at his house. You knew his parents would be out of town this week, they’re hardly ever home anyways.

After a few swift knocks, you don’t have to wait long before Steve opens the door. He looks tired, his hair is a mess and he’s wearing the ratty sweatpants that you absolutely hate on him. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and when he sees who is behind his door, he frowns. “Why are you all holding snacks?”

“Well, hello to you too, buddy.” Dustin is the first to enter, shoving past Steve without a care in the world. He looks around and whistles, impressed with the house. “Y/N said you were rich, but damn.”

“Is that a pool?” Lucas makes his way in as well, Max loosely holding his hand as she follows.

El looks up at you. “What is a pool?”

“Mike,” you call for the boy to get his attention. When he turns to you, brownie shoved in his mouth, you point towards El. “Can you explain to her what a pool is while I talk to Steve?”

Mike salutes you and grabs El’s hand, yanking her inside so that you’re left alone with the teen. As soon as they’re gone, Steve lets out an exasperated sigh. “What is this, Y/N?”

“Mandatory movie night!” You exclaim, hoping that your fake enthusiasm will be enough to rub off on him as well. You really, really hope that this plan works.

Steve sighs again, his heart isn’t in it to play along. “Y/N…”

“You’ve missed an entire week of school and Bookstrordinary misses its most loyal customer.” You’re basically pleading now, scared that Steve will turn you and everyone else away. “I just… I miss you and I know you enjoy the kids, even if you try to deny it, and I want you to just spend this one night with us. No worrying about the future, no family drama, just me, you, and the kids as we watch horrible scary movies and eat an unhealthy amount of sugar, okay?”

“But–”

“No, you’re not allowed to argue with me.” Steve stares at you, baffled, but you simply barge past him and enter the home as well. “We’re going to have fun tonight, damn it.”

He watches as you walk inside and start ordering the kids around. Within no time, you’ve arranged a neat row of cookies and brownies and chips and dinosaur nuggets on his dining room table while the kids start making a fort in the living room.

Steve sighs, knowing he’s long lost this battle with you, and joins you to help with grabbing more blankets and pillows for the fort.

One part of the deal for a movie night at Steve’s was allowing all the kids to pick their own movie to watch. You’d been very hesitant to say yes to this, but ultimately Mike’s nagging won in the end. His movie choice goes first, and within the first fifteen minutes of it, a fort has been made and the kids quickly settle within it, a mess of sheets and pillows and blankets.

You’re on the couch, lazily stretched out, knowing that there’s no room for you in the fort with the others. You don’t mind, you honestly prefer having the couch to yourself, and you only further come to enjoy this when Steve makes his way into the living room and looks around.

“Where am I supposed to sit?” He asks, slightly offended that he doesn’t get to share the fort.

“Here,” you pat the couch, though you don’t bother to make any room for him. Your entire body rests on the couch, there isn’t enough space for him to sit comfortably on the edge.

Steve bites his lip. He wants, more than anything, to lay on top of you and melt into your body, but he just isn’t sure what boundaries have been placed between the two of you. When you notice his misplaced hesitation, you simply sigh and tug at his legs, causing him to fall on top of you. “Shit–”

He collapses onto you and your body braces for his impact, the weight of him foreign yet welcome. He’s wearing the cologne you love and you reach for his shirt to tug him closer so that he’s now properly laying on you. You sigh happily, wrapping your arms around Steve. “See, was that so hard?”

“If you wanted to cuddle, you could’ve just asked.” Steve grumbles, but he situates himself so that he’s laying more comfortably on you and scoops you into his own arms as well. He rests his head against your chest and your fingers find their way into his hair, as they always seem to do.

Steve closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy your touch, for once not caring that the kids are just below the two of you in their fort. Normally he’s more reserved around you when they’re near, especially Dustin.

That kid never lets Steve catch a break when it comes to you.

But he’s exhausted and has spent the last week either crying or pretending that he’s someone he isn’t, so Steve indulges in your warmth and relishes in the way your fingers seem to unconsciously draw small circles on his back; he’s so fucking grateful that you exist.

You’re always there to catch him, to remind him of who he can be despite his continuous flaws.

The surprise movie night ends up being everything Steve needs. He laughs at Mike’s horrible jokes, shows El how to use the VHR, he argues with Max about whether peanut butter belongs with chocolate, Dustin throws popcorn at you when you kiss Steve’s cheek, and Lucas even asks him about basketball and if he has any advice for him once he gets to high school.

It’s the most fun Steve has had in a while, and he realizes why you spend so much time with these kids. They’re everything, really. Smart and fucking hilarious and easy to be around. They’re honest with him, they tell him he’s an idiot for not getting into college while in the same breath debating with him about if college is even worth it.

Plus, you litter Steve’s face with more kisses than usual tonight, which only brightens his mood further. You’ve been more affectionate with him lately, holding his hand more often and pressing your lips wherever you can. It’s as if he’s found some key, unlocking all the love you’ve stored within you.

Steve isn’t an idiot, he knows there’s more to it, so do you. However, rather than acknowledge it, you both choose to simply bask in it. It’s not time yet, bringing this into the light. It’s delicate, still forming into something that Steve is sure will be incredible.

For now, he allows his lips to skim across your face while the kids aren’t looking. They’ve been dying to do this ever since he’s known you, and the giggle you let out is more than enough for him.

–

Spring turns to summer and before Steve knows it, he’s graduating.

He rolls over in bed and stares at the ceiling. The Harrington household is quiet. His parents have gone on yet another business trip, his father had scoffed when Steve had asked if they’d be back in time for his ceremony.

“Why should we attend if you’re not going to do anything with that diploma?”

“Right,” Steve had scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed that he had even thought to ask his father to come. “I’m sorry.”

His mother, who had been quiet as they spoke, only stepped forward once her husband had left the room. She brought a hand to his face and tentatively stroked his cheek with her finger. “I’m proud of you, my beautiful boy.”

Steve had smiled at her, knowing that she meant well and yet heartbroken that she couldn’t voice this in front of his father. She smiled sadly at him, as if she sensed what he had been thinking, before following after her husband. As she always does.

The doorbell rings, effectively breaking Steve out of his momentary self pity. He looks at his alarm clock and frowns. It’s early in the morning, he doesn’t know who could be at the door at such an hour.

Sighing, he gets out of bed and makes his way downstairs angry at the world. He’s tired of growing up, his parents suck, he’s almost definitely skipping his graduation ceremony, and now he has to get out of bed to go answer the door.

He opens the door and when he sees that it’s you, his mood drastically improves. You’re dressed in a pretty lavender sundress, a departure from your usual t-shirts and shorts that Steve has come to associate as your summer uniform. By the time he manages to take his eyes off of you, he realizes too late that you’re holding flowers and shoving your way into his home.

“Ready to graduate?” You ask, carefully setting the flowers down on his kitchen table. “You can’t skip it if I’m here, ya know.”

Steve groans. “How did you even know I was going to skip?”

“Because you’re predictable and I enjoy making you do what’s best for you.” You’ve grabbed his hand and are dragging him towards his room. “Now, go find something nice to wear while I put your flowers in a vase.”

“But–”

You don’t give Steve any time to argue as you’ve already left the room to go and take care of the flowers. He lets out another groan, he knows he can’t argue his way out of this one. You’ve dressed up for a graduation, bought Steve flowers, and now he has to put on some stupid outfit to make a smile cross your pretty little face.

He settles on a simple white button down shirt and a pair of nice dress pants, and you return to his room as he’s struggling with the buttons. When you see him, you laugh with affection and walk over to him. “Here, let me see.”

Steve lets you button his shirt, your breath is warm against his chest as your fingers quickly secure the buttons into the place. He admires the cute frown on your face as you concentrate, and he allows his hands to come up to yours and slots your fingers together. You’re taken aback by the sudden affection.

“What are you doing?” You ask, a familiar blush on your face from his touch. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to this.

“Nonthin’.” Steve says, though he lets go of one of your hands and places it on the small of your back as he always does. He uses the hand to push you closer and the other hand remains intertwined with yours. He stares down at you, he’s close enough to count every eyelash that dots along your pretty eyes. “Just admiring you.”

“Is this some ploy to distract me from your graduation?” Though you try to tease him, you’re weak and let out a soft sigh when Steve pulls you even closer, feeling his body against yours. He’s allowed himself to become bolder with you, and as if to prove this, he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses your brow. You exhale with a shaky breath, your resolve dwindles. “Honey…”

Steve chuckles at your reaction, revels in it. He hopes to one day memorize all the ways he can make you sigh his name and shiver against him. For now, however, he pulls away and finishes getting dressed. “I know, I know. Graduation time.”

The perfectly aimed sandal that you throw at him is enough to solidify to Steve that he is, truly, happy.

–

Dustin is the first one Steve sees in the bleachers, then Mike, and then El, before he realizes that the entire party has managed to make it to his graduation ceremony.

“You invited them?” He turns to you, somehow surprised that you would do such a simple and lovely thing.

“Of course I did.” You kiss his cheek and quickly fix his hair as you adjust his graduation cap. You’ve been fretting over his appearance ever since you left his house, and he hates how giddy he feels whenever you dote on him. “Now, go find your seat and don’t trip on the stage!”

You’re gone in a flash, leaving Steve alone as you go and join the kids in the bleachers with all the other friends and family in attendance. The school’s gym is packed, everyone has someone there for them to see them walk across the stage, and though Steve’s actual family isn’t here, he has you and the kids in the stands cheering for him.

Steve decides, then, that you and the kids are his true family.

The ceremony is long and boring, and Steve spends the entire time sneaking glances at you.

You’re attentive, nodding along to all the boring speeches made by teachers and clapping for every student’s name that is called. He sees you breakup a fight between Mike and Max over something, he guesses it’s probably something dumb, and he laughs when you switch seats with Max in the end.

As he watches you, Steve feels what he felt the first day he ever spoke to you when you almost hit his car with your bike. When he’d gotten out of his car and found you laying in the ditch, he felt what he feels now: a slow, all encompassing wave of sunlight.

He felt it when he drove you home the following week and you’d told him he wasn’t a bad person, and he felt it again when you’d spared him kindness at Jonathan’s while fighting the Demogorgon. Then, in front of the hospital’s vending machine, the sunlight turned into a fireplace within his chest when you’d giggled and told him you were friends.

Since then, the fire has only burned deeper within Steve. It burned when he’d gifted you that poster, when he had spent every day at your job just to be near you. It had burned Steve when you’d left him that summer, the sting of it unbearable as it seared his skin. Then it had dimmed, abandoned, until you came back again and reignited it once more.

When you whispered confessions to Steve in the dark, he felt it then. When you sacrificed your life to save his, leaving a scar on your rib cage that Steve can feel whenever he hugs you, he felt it then as well. The fire was there when you leaned against him, accepted the help he has always tried to provide for you, when he gave you a piggyback ride back inside Jonathan’s and tucked you into bed.

It all comes back to Steve in flashes.

Your promise to him to wait, to stay even though he couldn’t give you what you deserved, what you needed. The gentleness of your promise and the framed photo of him and Dustin that now sits proudly on his bedside table. The surprise movie nights, how you call him “honey” and he calls you “angel”.

It’s always been there.

The warmth had started back before Steve even knew what warmth was, when he first saw you. He had been thirteen and you had been twelve.

Now, at almost seventeen and eighteen, you’re cheering for Steve’s name as it’s called upon the stage and he finally knows what this feeling is. Steve accepts his diploma and shakes hands with his principal and he swears he can hear your voice, screaming his name with pure joy, above everyone else’s; it’s as if his body is attuned to yours.

This, Steve knows, is love.

–

The school year ends and summer break begins.

There’s a new mall in Hawkins, one that’s big and flashy and opens just in time for summer vacation. Dustin spends entire days there with the party before he reluctantly leaves for Camp Know Where. You miss your brother dearly, but you know the camp is good for him.

When you find out that Jonathan and Nancy have become interns at the Hawkins Post, you scream and throw yourself into their arms, incredibly proud of them, yet you’re sad as well. You didn’t realize that you’d be spending your last summer before senior year apart from your best friend, though you know he’s always dreamed of showcasing his photography.

It’s bittersweet, but when Steve gets a job at the new mall, the free ice cream that you get makes up for it.

Plus, his uniform for Scoops Ahoy doesn’t hurt.

“You’re not allowed to laugh.” Steve threatens you, horribly self conscious with how short his shorts are. You made him promise to show you the uniform, but now he’s seriously regretting it as you bite your lip; he sees the laugh before it comes. “I mean it! No laughing, it’s already bad enough that I have to work–”

He’s cut off by your loud, smug laugh. It overtakes your entire body as you hunch over, gasping for breath as you wheeze out, “You look great!”

Steve hides behind the ice cream counter, absolutely mortified. Here he is, being laughed at by the girl he’s so fucking in love with, as he wears a stupid sailor hat and a god damn ascot.

In between your laughs, you see the despair on Steve’s face and you try to calm down. “Okay, I’m sorry,” you wipe tears from your eyes, still slightly giggling. “It’s just… You look so adorable in that uniform!”

Immediately Steve straightens his back and crosses his arms, trying to look more dignified. “One, never call a man adorable. That’s just offensive. Two, I will not get out from behind this counter until you stop giggling at me.”

“Who are we giggling at?” An unfamiliar girl now appears, wearing the exact same uniform that Steve is, and when she sees you standing in front of the teen, she raises her eyebrows in disbelief. “Henderson with Harrington?”

She knows your name, and you quickly wrack your head to try and figure out why she looks so familiar. At the very least, you know she has to be a grade below you, though you can’t quite place her, which you feel bad about. She looks kind.

“Yes, Henderson with Harrington.” You extend your hand out for the girl to shake. “I’m Y/N, though I guess you already knew that.”

“Robin Buckley,” she accepts your handshake, giving you an interested smile. She already seems to like you, which you’re relieved by.

Steve watches this interaction with pure dread. He had met Robin a few days ago during his interview for the job, and she’s made his life a living hell of torment and teasing ever since. Now, with you two meeting, he knows that you’ll only add onto Robin’s incredibly quick wit. “Oh, please don’t become friends.”

“Too late.” You wink at Robin. “Wanna check out this insanely large mall together?”

Robin gasps. “It’d be my pleasure.” She hops over the counter, completely bypassing the door that lets you out, and loops her arm through yours. “Later, dingus!”

“Bye, Steve!”

He stands there, defeated, as you and Robin giggle together while you leave. It only took thirty seconds before you abandoned him like some traitor. Sighing, he picks up a rag and starts wiping down the tables in the ice cream shop.

From the corner of his eye he can see you and Robin running around the mall. You’re giggling as you chase after the girl, your hair is tied in a loose ponytail and one of the straps on your overalls has slid down your arm. You look happy, bright and alive, far from the girl Steve remembers from last winter.

It takes Steve’s breath away.

Then, as if you can sense his eyes on you, you turn. Your eyes connect, your cheeks are flushed from running and you’re breathless as you smile at him. Steve returns your smile, winks, and he can almost hear your giggle.

You finally look away, going back to chasing after Robin as the two of you retreat further into the mall, and as your figure fades in the distance, there’s only one thing on Steve’s mind.

I can’t wait to make her mine.

-

⌑ series masterlist

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[nualaofthefaerie]

Sandman s2, confirmed news!

I see a lot of speculation on the topic, so as someone who has closely followed and confirmed information, I am comprising this thread of confirmed Season 2 leaks that I will update regularly.

This is inspired by @orionsangel86 rant, and I have no real following here for people to listen to me, but I hope this will allow the fandom to discover me as a Sandman creator.

All information has been thoroughly confirmed, and some of it was found by me. I will try to keep the chronological order:

1. Ruairi O'Connor is our Orpheus

Well...I don't have to explain, the man's face is on there, plus Melissanthi Mahut follows him on Instagram

2. Esme Creed Miles is our Delirium

Back in August, we suspected Esme Creed Miles had joined the cast of the Sandman as our Delirium when Lourdes Faberes posted this picture with this caption:

Soon after the entire cast followed Esme and since then have interacted and been in the same place multiple times including last week when Donna and Mason were filming:

3. Barry Soloane is our Destruction

His wife spoiled it, and he has it on top of his acting credits. He is followed by all of the Endless and Neil on Instagram, and they interact regularly.

4. Midsummer Night's dream is filmed/being filmed

As you can see from this leaked call sheet from the same day, the scenes included elves and fairies + the caravan + the people who asked what was filmed on their walk basically confirms Midsummer Night's Dream

5. Wanda and Ruby's characters are being merged and are being played by Indya Moore

We have no further information on the changing of storylines.

+ a lot of minor roles have been confirmed as well but those are of no vitality.

6. Names of six of the supposed 12 episodes have leaked

(In no particular order)

"Season of Mists"

"Brief Lives"

"Family Blood"

"The Song of Orpheus"

"The Ruler of Hell"

"More Devils Than Vast Hell Can Hold"

Source is WhatsOnNetflix (reliable source)

!!The next ones are speculations since we cannot confirm them but it is quite likely as timelines fit:

1. Ferdinand Kingsley has filmed the Season of Mists dream sequence

The only clue we have of that, is that he maintained a hairstyle similar to Hob's with a longer beard for a while and has recently chopped it all off.

2. Filming of "Season of Mists" in Brighton Pavillion on the 20th of February

According to eyewitnesses, the production was humongous, the extras and actors were dressed in gothic/mythical/monster/horror attire, which excludes the location from being Destiny's garden or have anything to do with the Family dinner, leaving Season of Mists as the most plausible conclusion

3. On-site location filming on Castle Arce in the week of March 15th

The Castle Arce area has lots of mazey parts, dare I say Destiny's garden, but that is pure speculation. (I just found these so I have not had the time to decipher them properly).

3. Destiny will be POC

I sincerely hope that to be true. The only semi-clue we have that suggests this might be true is the picture from Lourdes (above with Esme) and the fact that Adrian Lester is in the picture, but he is not part of the cast or seen in leaks anywhere. We hope for news soon.

That's it, folks.

Those are all leaks compiled in a comprehensive list to avoid further speculation. I will be updating the list accordingly and if anyone has questions, feel free to send them my way, I feel confident in all the ones that we have confirmed to be true.

Love,

Li

[mmgwritings]

UNKNOWN / NTH

Characters: Kaz Brekker / Sun Summoner ! Reader

Prompt: when alina starkov fails to destroy the fold, kaz brekker discovers the true power of the saints.

Warnings: angst, canon divergence, shadow and bone season 2, main character death, definitely didn't proof read, kaz suffering, fjerda sun summoner.

The nichevo'ya bore down upon us and Sankta Alina was struggling to wield her power while shielding the group from the volcras. Waves of terror swept over us when the screeches of the volcras echoed around in the dark. Beside me, Jesper whispered curses as he loaded more bullets into his pistols and Wylan knelt down to search for more gunpowder in the bag.

"Got everything we need, Wylan? We're not going to a picnic, you know" Jesper quipped, a nervous grim in his face. "We're definitely going to die"

Then, the nichevo'ya breached Alina's protection with the Darkling behind them. Inej, quick as lightning, drew her sword "neshyenyer" and sprang into action. With the blade gleaming in the dim light she enganged the shadow monsters in a fight which each swing of her sword was precise.

Y/N didn't wait and started shooting at the shadows. Jesper's pistols were also aimed and ready. He stood at the forefront of the remains of the First Army, with King Nikolai at his side, shooting and desperately trying to get a clear shot amidst the chaos of battle.

Nothing was working. It seems that don't matter how hard we fight the darkness didn't falter, and then, as if and overwhelming force had descedend upon us, Alina's light protection crumbled completely. We were now exposed to all the horrors of the Fold.

"Come on, run!" screamed Nina. She grabbed my hand and pushed me through a door in the fortress as the battalion scattered, desperately seeking refuge in other rooms. Jesper, Wylan, and Kaz ran close behind us, with Zoya supporting Nikolai's injured side and Mal dragging Alina.

We entered a training courtyard, with the remnants of the battle between the Darkling's Grisha and the First Army still visible. Volcra dragged the bodies of the fallen and descended from the skies in droves. The place was engulfed in chaos, and the sounds of combat reverberated all around. A volcra swooped over our group, seizing one of Nikolai's soldiers. His screams faded into the darkness.

"We're too exposed here!" Kaz shouted as he began striking his cane against the old door lock, which gave way without much effort. "Let's go, get inside!"

Kaz led us through a series of corridors, candles still burned and provided a faint glow to guide our way. The air was heavy with tension, and the sounds of death echoed from outside.

In a small, dimly lit room, we finally regrouped. Mal and Alina were gasping for breath, their faces pale, while Nikolai's wound was tended to by Zoya and Nina. Kaz was busy devising a plan, the gears of his mind turning even in the midst of chaos. Jesper and Wylan stood ready, pistols and bombs in hand, guarding the entrance.

Alina, even though visibly shaken, looked at each of us with fierce determination. "We may be cornered, but we're not done yet," she declared. "We fight, and we survive. This is not how our story ends."

"Well, whatever your plan is, Sanka, you'd better make it quick," Kaz said coldly. He had never believe in saints; this wouldn't be the moment. "You have amplifiers, don't you? Why aren't they working?"

Alina paled. "Mal... Mal is the third amplifier. Baghra told me that only with his death will I have enough power to destroy the Fold." A heavy silence settled in the room.

Alina would have to kill Mal, the man she loved. Y/N had always known that a Grisha's powers were cursed. She was born in a village in Fjerda, raised under the belief of Djel, but saw her world shattered when she discovered her powers. For her sins, for her curse, her family was murdered by the villagers. In a last desperate attempt, her sister handed her over to a Kaelish slave trader, which is how she ended up in the pleasure houses of Ketterdam.

Y/N had suppressed her powers since then, rarely using, and no one knew about them... no one except Kaz Brekker, the man who set her free. Kaz needed a spy, and she was perfect for the mission. Years later, Y/N was still working for Kaz — murdering for Kaz.

Kaz discovered Y/N's sun summoner powers by chance when a mission went awry, and they needed to escape. SHe had to blind two of their pursuers from the stadwatch and for the first time, she feared Kaz. She thought he might sell her, turn her over to Ravka, or auction her off to the Drüskelle.

But that day never came. He never spoke a word about Y/N being Grisha, never asked her to use her powers... and that was how she began to fall in love with Kaz.

Alina's eyes welled with tears as she looked at Mal, her voice trembling. "I know, but I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Mal reached out, gently wiping away her tears. "We've faced so much together, Alina. This is just one more sacrifice we must make for the greater good."

Kaz, still resolute, added, "We don't have much time. We have to make a plan"

Tears streamed down Alina's face as she nodded, knowing the weight of the decision they had to make.

That's not fair, i thought. And, as she was capable of reading my mind, Inej, who had been quietly listening, spoke softly, "Life isn't always fair, but the choices we make define us. We'll support you, Sankta Alina, no matter what you decide."

Zoya, her expression soft, added, "It's a hard choice, but it's one that could save countless lives. Or, maybe we can find a way... Nina, how fast can you cure him?"

Nina, her face filled with concern, replied, "I'll do my best, Zoya, but it might take time. We can't afford to wait too long."

The room was filled with a shared sense of determination as they began to explore every possibility, but we didn't have time. Outside a cry pierced the air. It was the Darkling, leading the charge of the dark forces.

It won't work. I realized this just by looking at the determined way Alina gazed at Mal – she would never sacrifice him to save the world. She's not capable, just like Nina isn't capable of healing him in time. Mal would have to die, and Alina couldn't be the one to kill him.

"Maybe there's another way" I whispered.

Inej, her eyes filled with hope, asked, "What do you have in mind?" at the same time that Kaz a loudly "No"

My voice gained a touch of determination as I responded, "We can't let Mal die, but we also can't let the Darkling win. We need to find a different source of amplification, something that doesn't involve taking a life."

Confusion hung heavy in the room as Kaz stepped forward, his face masked by controlled fury. "You're not going to," he said "I'll not allow it"

"It's not your decision to make, Kaz," I replied, my tone resolute.

Kaz's eyes bore into mine, a battle of wills silently raging between us. "You can't expect me to stand by while you kill yourself."

"Believe me, that's not my intention," I said with a sly smile. But smiles never fooled Kaz. He know me, perhaps the only person in the world who truly know me.

We're complicated people, each with our own traumas, but over the years, we've learned to share some of our past. Kaz told me about Jordie, the farm, the con and I told him about fjerda, the blood, the slavery.

Once, at the slat, on a rainy night, Kaz's expression softened slightly as he said "We've both carried our burdens, but it's made us who we are. It's what's kept us alive in this unforgiving world."

We became friends, confidants, and slowly, we tried to be something more. He can't stand being touched, and I can't stand being seen — two of the most broken people in the Barrel, trying to shed their armor.

In the quiet of that rainy night in the Slat's office, we dared to be vulnerable. Kaz's gloved hand hesitated, almost touching mine, as if testing the boundaries of his aversion to contact.

I whispered, "Kaz, it's okay. You can trust me."

He looked into my eyes, a storm of emotions flickering in his gaze, but he didn't pull away. His gloved hand met mine, the moment felt like a breakthrough, a chink in the armor we had built around ourselves.

In that fragile connection, we found solace in each other's company, knowing that we didn't have to be alone in the darkness of the world.

I let the memories fade away. Kaz was standing in front of me, shielding me from the eyes of the others.

"I have to do this, Kaz. You know that," I whispered, moving closer to him, my hand softly touching his fingers.

Kaz, his gaze unwavering, finally nodded in reluctant agreement. "I know, but it doesn't mean I have to let you go alone"

Dread coursed through my body when I realized that Kaz was going with me. If I couldn't make it, he would end up dying with me.

"No, you're staying here," I said, but Kaz simply turned his back and began giving orders to Jesper and Wylan to prepare reinforcements. "KAZ!" I shouted, panic-stricken. I ran over and stood in his way, and I did something I had never dared before – I held his face.

"You're not going alone, Y/N" he said, his eyes locked onto mine, "If you go, I'm going with you."

I removed my hands from Kaz's face when I noticed he was turning pale. Jesper, like everyone else, was confused, so he said "I'm not sure what's happening."

I couldn't explain further because, at that moment, a terrible noise descended upon us. Something was tearing the door apart. We all rushed towards the other exit leading to the hill. The Darkling's nichevo'ya circled the grass like vultures, destroying any form of life. Nikolai, Mal, and Jesper began firing their pistols.

Then, he appeared. The Darkling was still handsome, even with his face partially marred by the corruption of merzost. His eyes blazed with fury as he spoke to Alina.

"You can't escape me, Alina. Your powers belong to me, and you will give them willingly or by force."

Sankta Alina, her voice filled with defiance said "I'll never willingly give you anything, and you'll never control me again."

She then attempted to strike him with a beam of light, but it was strangely weak. When it hit the Darkling, he absorbed the light as if it were nothing.

A twisted smile appeared on the herege face. "You see, my little saint, you can't fight destiny. Your powers are mine to command."

Sankta Alina couldn't do anything to stop him. Y/N had to intervene while the Darkling believed he had everything in his grasp.

She looked at Kaz and whispered a "I'm sorry" with a small smile o her face, one that Kaz knew it was filled with sorrow.

Kaz expression hardened, he simply nodded and said, "Just make it count."

Y/N, being more experienced in sun summons than Alina, definitely didn't need an amplifier to perform the cut.

With confidence born of her expertise, Y/N channeled her power, a blinding ray of red sunlight cutting through the room and striking the Darkling. He let out a searing scream as the light consumed him, writhing in pain. It was a scream of pain and surprise. As the rest of the world, he believe that existed only one sun summoner.

The room was filled with a blinding radiance, and for a moment, it seemed like the Darkling's corruption might be purged. But as the light dimmed, his sinister form slowly re-emerged, and it became apparent that the battle was far from over.

"Alright, let's see how strong you are," Y/N said as she unleashed waves of light upon the nichevo'ya.

The nichevo'ya screeched in agony as they were engulfed by the brilliant light, their dark forms dissipating in its radiance. In the midst of the battle, the Grisha and first army all rallied behind her, recognizing that Y/N's power might just be the key to turning the tide against the Darkling's forces.

The sky crackled with energy as she fought the darkness. Y/N unleashed all her power, releasing every ounce of her strength, and gradually, with bursts of radiant lightning, the Fold dissipated. Volcras burned and plummeted from the skies.

Volcras and nichevo'ya fell one after the other, their malevolent forms vanquished by the searing light.

Y/N's power illuminated the battlefield, then, as a final blow, Y/N performed the cut, unlike the initial one which was merely to test the strength of the heretic. This one was hot, sharp, and incredibly potent.

But it wasn't enough. Remnants of the Darkling's cut hit her chest. She fell to the ground, struggling to breathe, her chest burning.

In her most haunting nightmares, Y/N is always alone when she die. Typically, it begins with a startling realization that her demise is finally upon her. She feel her heart struggling to keep beating, even under the weight of a perfectly aimed dagger. The cries of my family have faded into silence, and Y/N, like any other ordinary person, is capable of facing death.

But this time, everything feels too vivid, too different, as if a new nightmare is taking shape. She taste the metallic tang of blood in her mouth, choking and bringing tears to her eyes. Strangely, she don't experience any pain; in fact, she doesn't feel much of anything except an intense cold, even though the sun shines brightly above.

What makes this new nightmare the worst is his presence.

Kaz looms above Y/N, his brown eyes hidden behind unshed tears. His voice sounds muffled, as if speaking from beneath murky waters. He speaks in desperation, making threats and offering impossible promises... promises about love.

Y/N, gasping for breath, managed a weak smile. "Not... on your... watch."

Kaz, his usual mask of indifference cracking, held her hand tightly, his gloved fingers trembling. "You better not."

But Y/N wasn't feeling the warmth of his hands and breathing was becoming a difficult task. Blood coated her mouth, and her vision blurred as Kaz's face slowly faded from focus, Nina was by his side, trying to tend to the gaping wound in Y/N's chest.

Nothing seemed to work; there was some kind of dark poison, a residue of the Darkling's merzost, in her body preventing the wound from closing.

Y/N loved Kaz's eyes; often, they couldn't lie as convincingly as his words. It was through Kaz's eyes that she knew. Kaz couldn't hide the worry and helplessness in his gaze. For the first time, he wasn't able to find a solution to the problem at hand, and it weighed heavily on him.

It didn't hurt, it wasn't tumultuous at all.

Yet, it was bittersweet to know that someone who had never believed in saints, who had never begged, and who had never touched another person for fear of the dead, had done all of that for her.

For the first time that year, the sun shone in Ravka, but when Y/N opened her eyes, winter was closing in around her.

In the distance, an ash tree stood tall, beckoning like an invitation.

[fuckyeahaudiodrama]

☀️JUNE LISTENS☀️

i still don’t have a brain! ah!!!! but i do have ears for listening! i actually listened to a lot of stuff that i ended up not liking as much, last month, but i still have plenty to rec.

Remnants — (ep1-2 early access) a dark fantasy mystery anthology. hard to describe without giving anything away. i love everything by Hanging Sloth (creator of SBR, NQD and Clockwork Bird), so i knew that i was very likely to enjoy this regardless of the premise… but my god, absolutely surreal vibes. the sound design is breathtaking! feeling very grateful to be a HS patron right now. keep an eye out for this one coming 15th july! subscribe now and don’t miss it.

Mockery Manor — (3 seasons, 37 eps + miniseries, between seasons) a murder mystery set at a theme park with a comedic twist. i didn’t think this was going to be my thing and i was so wrong. the protags are twin sisters with plenty of baggage between them. their shenanigans and banter keep the tone light even when the plot takes dark turns. looking forward to s4!

Limelight: The Specialist — (5 eps, complete) self-described as a “dark medical thriller” set in rural wales. Limelight series are generally good but satisfying endings are hit or miss; this one was VERY well-paced, with a satisfying payoff, and gave me hope for a series 2 in future. i loved the execution of the gruesome mystery and i loved the protagonist to pieces.

Close Your Eyes — (1 season, 9 eps, s2 in production) having recently listened to RQ’s Neon Inkwell: The Pit Below Paradise, which also centers around cult dynamics, i found this to be a very fun contrast. here we see how someone can be immersed and isolated by a cult, regardless of their personal skepticism or strength of will. the suspense was so delicious i had to listen to all nine episodes in a row. ends on an incredible cliffhanger — can’t WAIT for season 2.

The Silt Verses — (44 eps, finale soon) a grim religious fantasy dystopia. some of the most intricate and fascinating worldbuilding i’ve ever seen. huge cast. i know that everyone in the AD space has rec’d this pod a hundred times over, but i can’t stress enough how it’s one of my very favorite stories in the medium. the penultimate ep left off on an absolutely deranged note and i have no idea what’s coming! so exciting, if you’ve been waiting to check this one out — now might be the time!

Dice Shame — (2 seasons, 200+ eps, ongoing) classic dnd actual play ft. Harlan Guthrie of Malevolent fame, and his equally charismatic friends and family. i don’t listen to a lot of APs bc i have trouble focusing on such long episodes but i just love the chemistry of this party. slapping it on the rec list bc the current storyline has me hooked!!

Bridgewater — (1 season, 22 eps, ???) supernatural mystery, notably starring Misha Collins as the protagonist. this one has a lot of complicated family dynamics read: mommy AND daddy issues. the length of the series is just enough to let you spawn several of your own theories, which is fun, and i was really pleased that i was able to predict the true conflict and identify the antagonist. excellent use of foreshadowing etc, biggest props to Lauren Shippen of The Bright Sessions fame.

Consumed — (12 episodes) small town horror/mystery through the eyes of a stranded newcomer. this one did NOT go where i expected it to, because i started it before i listened to Bridgewater; they’re set in the same universe, so the same worldbuilding applies. i would honestly recommend listening to this one FIRST because if you do listen to the end of Bridgewater, it will kind of spoil the twist in Consumed.

The Penumbra Podcast — (5 seasons, 2 storylines, both ending this summer) still barreling toward the finish line for both Second Citadel and Juno Steel. as a patron, i was notified of early release for the SC finale this morning, which i know is gonna wreck me. just wanted to feature this because i don’t see it recced as often anymore and that’s a fucking crime. one of my top AD recs for sure.

Red Valley — (While You Were Hypersleeping 3) three ep miniseries featuring our main best boy, warren, who has been notably absent from most of this season! so nice to hear from him and to get a glimpse of what might be coming in the next part of the season.

Observable Radio — (11 eps, ongoing) my favorite recent sci-fi/horror anthology by far, tied up in a terrifically dreadful meta narrative. afaik this is a limited series but i’m really savoring each and every episode; the most recent, “Earworm”, was one of my favorites. very dark and dystopian. mind the content warnings!

The Network Defenders — (ep1) the debut of a new Planet Arcana miniseries, featuring some new voices and a fresh new tarot-based system (crowdfunding this year!) has all of the appeal of PA in terms of prod. quality, vibes and emotional depth, just new mechanics. 2nd ep is out now so i’m hopping right on that as i post this!

Waterlogged — (ep1) a new indie horror that i’ve been waiting to drop for a while now, and i really enjoyed the soft-spoken eerie vibe of the pilot. there’s a couple more things in the feed now so i’ll have to go catch up.

[retiredkat]

#1 INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

AMC2022–

It was a tough choice choosing between Shōgun and Interview With the Vampire for the top spot, but the decision ultimately came down to the astounding narrative feat the AMC series accomplished in its second season.

Part 2 left New Orleans behind for post-World War II Paris, where Anne Rice’s beloved vampires Louis de Pointe du Lac (Jacob Anderson, who’s long overdue for Emmys recognition for his performance — Season 2 will be eligible next year) and daughter Claudia (the wondrous Delainey Hayles) attempt to make a new life for themselves after their attempted murder of their maker/Louis’ immortal companion, Lestat de Lioncourt (Sam Reid, equally snubbed by awards shows for his Season 1 performance). Season 2 follows the second half of the eponymous Rice novel, which being the gothic, romantic horror story it is, ends in tragedy for this broken family of bloodsuckers but also in catharsis wholly earned after 15 episodes in a storytelling pressure-cooker.

The series at large, but Season 2’s fifth and last two episodes especially are examples of what TV can be when artists are given the carte blanche to create (another thing this and Shōgun have in common). Showrunner Rolin Jones and his team planted narrative seeds in the show’s very first episodes back in 2022 that wouldn’t pay off until these final hours, all culminating in multiple jaw-dropping reveals involving Lestat and Armand (Assad Zaman, one of the casting department’s greatest finds) that were decades in the making in the show and yet still unpredictable. (Season 3, The Vampire Lestat adaptation, is going to be even more uncharted territory.)

Like the Rice novel before it, Interview With the Vampire uses monsters to excavate the depths of human emotion, taking bigger and bolder swings with the source material than the 1994 film dared to do. Love and death, grief and remorse, euphoria and despair are all covered as Louis carries out his “odyssey of recollection” with investigative journalist Daniel Molloy (Eric Bogosian at his best) in 2022 Dubai. At its core, the show is a remarkable exploration of a most basic but confounding human experience that we spend our lives navigating: there are many sides to every story, but no matter how strongly we feel that our version is fact, the one haunting truth is, multiple things can be true at once. Imagine unpacking that for all eternity. — Kelli Boyle

[coffeegnomee]

I wanted to write about how far Zam has come with his character for like a week now and now he’s acknowledged it himself so I finally grabbed all the quotes.

Let’s go down memory lane shall we? 

DAY 1 

24:00 “There’s a ghost that haunts my dreams [...] I see him in my sleep. He tells me to kill people. But I don’t want to kill anyone”

“I have to hold it in.. [...] I wish I had like horror sound effects to play and images of every lifesteal member dead and I could flash them across the screen” does that. 

ZAM: “*lights armadillo on fire* “give it a slow, painful death” PENTAR: “for someone against the whole idea of killing, you seem to have a gruesome way around killing things.” ZAM “I’m still me” [armadillo dies.] “I can only resist the urges so much [evil giggle]”

10:07:00 after Pentar kills him “It’s not about being above anyone by not killing people, I would just prefer not to. Because last season I feel like I was.. Something else. And I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be that again. You know?”

“Because it’s not supposed to be some morality, ‘I’m better than you’ kind of thing, you know? I don’t want to be on some like high horse. It’s more of like, I just don’t wanna let the demon out, you know, that type of thing”

Reflecting on the first two days, I wrote this about Zam: This season looks like an internal battle of his personal desire to complete a minecraft challenge™ (no kills) vs his desire to do lore and change his character multiple times. And I just don’t think the challenge wins long term. A challenge isn’t what makes him love lifesteal, it’s the lore. 

Day 4 7/9/24

1:01:05 “‘zam has no enemies’ no, it’s not that I have no enemies, it’s just that if I kill people, I’m going to become like a monster. Like way worse than anyone else on the server. You know? And I like don’t want that reputation if I’m like just peacefully building. [...] ‘oh bro’s scared to hurt others then?’ yup! [...] ‘bad things will happen…. (meep)’ yea last time I hurt someone, last time i tried to hurt someone, bad things happened. And i just… can’t do that again, you know?”

1:21:40 killing bogged in trial chamber. “It feels nice cutting things down, I don’t think I’ve been doing enough of this. [...] I’m going to kill all of you, I’m going to kill every single one of you. [...] is it weird to say that I’ve missed this? Even though ‘this’ is just cutting down a bunch of skeletons, just jumping up and down and left clicking [...]  [evil giggles (and not to anything in chat)] [...] my sword might say “im so sorry’ but I’m not sorry, I’m not even a little sorry right now” 

2:19:05 “”also Zam is emo’ (chips) “no i’m not! I’m so happy! I’m the happiest i've been in a long time. That’s why I have my nipple out. That’s not true why did i say that” 

4:04:50 Wemmbu killed Spoke. ZAM: “[opens statistics] it still says zero. It still says zero. It still says zero it still says zero. So I’m fine. I’m fine. Cause it still says zero.. [walks around base] I’m fine. It’s perfectly fine. ‘0 plants potted’ (arch) okay actually that’s what I got the clay for so.. Thank you for saying that actually, very convenient timing. [goes to shed to smelt] [blows out breath] I’m just gonna chop down trees. I’m just gonna chop down trees and I’m just gonna leave this group and I’m gonna chop down trees and I’m gonna have a fun time and nothing bad’s gonna happen. And everything’s gonna be a-okay [hannah logged on] I thought Mapicc logged on I cannot lie. Okay maybe I’m scared. [Mapicc logs on] [gasp, crouches] motherfucker. Motherfucker [under breath]”

Dies to Mapicc three times. 

5:26:00 is thinking about how he’s doing a character nobody else on lifesteal has done before. Puts on a lore song. “‘If there’s one thing you’ve been consistent in the last two seasons, it’s been steady in your morals until the end’ (chips) yea. But here’s the thing though [giggle] does it matter? Or like, what’s it called. Am I restricting myself? Do you guys think? Most definitely, right. And it’s like. I dunno, a big part of me feels like it would be nice to like, let go, and just like, join in on all the violence, and everything, and all that stuff. You know? Like it would be nice. It would be nice, I think. Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know… [evil giggle] ahhh. [long pause, arch in chat said ‘once you do it you can’t go back though’ he doesn’t read it out] [lore music cuts out] [very seriously] no that’s stupid. No. I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna. [blows breath] I’m not gonna let myself go as far as I did last season. I’m not gonna let myself do anything like that again [tehe giggle] [huffs out breath]”

5:28:18 “‘it was fun tho’ (chips) it was, but it was fun at the expense of others. It was fun… but it was damaging to the server.. It was. I dunno. I don’t think it’s who I want to be. I don’t think I was born to be…That. you know? I don’t know. I feel like that’s not who I am. I feel like that was never who I was.” 

7/13/24 end fight day 

~2:38:00 ZAM: “‘its not ok to kill people but it's ok to ask people really nicely to kill people you don't like’ I’m allowed to persuade people’s opinions, I think, and I can only do that when I’m really really mad. [...] But i dunno. [sigh] I’ve messaged both opposing teams so i dunno, I don’t care enough though. Whatever. This is beyond me."

“Joker zam went back into his closet’ (meep) that’s true. I was possessed for a second there. [messages MC chat saying that] ‘my evil self wishes for me to kill everyone. I won’t tho.' 

7/14/24 day he kills planet

Hour and half of Pangi messing with him while he gets more and more frustrated at the shulker farm. 

1:28:50 Zam flies after Pangi and crits him out, but he stops. “I can’t crit him out like that, I’m gonna get my first player kill and it’s gonna ruin all my lore” 

1:40:00 pangi is still singing, Zam bows him, then tries fishing rodding him. He comes up the farm PANGI: “hey PrinceZam, do you need therapy?” ZAM: “shut up you always got some noise to make, shut up. [...] I bet you’re my first kill this season” PANGI: “BAHAHAA” ZAM: “just kidding I won’t kill anyone. Just kidding. Just kidding just kidding. That was a joke. That was a joke. I won’t kill anyone. [blows out breath]” PANGI: “okay PrinceZam.” 

1:47:00 ZAM: “what the fuck just happened to me. Dude, I need to stop. He keeps, he keeps trying to get me to get my first kill, bro. He’s trying to get me to get my first kill. I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. It’s getting harder and harder, with each and every day, to hold back [sigh] oooh kay. ‘Why aren’t you killing anybody’ because as soon as I kill one person, I go down a dark dark path. And you don’t want to see that dark dark path. ‘WE DO’ I don’t. K fine, maybe you do. I don’t. A great darkness lurks within me. A great darkness lurks within me. It’s consumed me, ever since, ever since I was young. ‘Your dark side is banging on the door, let the poor guy in’ no. noo. I’m gonna build a closet in my house. ‘PLEASE DO IT’ where could I even, oh I know where I could actually build a closet right now, let’s do that right now actually hold on. Unironically lets do that right now” 

6:24:44 zam goes to bacon in his base, “Whenever I sleep, he comes to me. So i try not to sleep in that bed anymore” BACON: “[baffled] how did that even start. Like how did you even, what, how did this even become a thing in your head” ZAM: “[ignoring] there’s a demon in my closet, any time, any time I die he comes closer to possessing me.” BACON: “okay what is the demon trying to get you to do.” ZAM: “kill everyone” BACON: “oooohhh. Oh I like that. Okay okay” ` 

Then there’s the fated Bacon stream 

2:39:00 bacon and planet meme around about the build battle rules and Zam snaps, “if you want to be a bitch about it you don’t have to fucking play, goddamm. Dumbass fucking planetlord and baconnwaffles. I hate both of you. Fuck you guys. I’m going back into the house… i’m going into my closet” 

They clean up spawn a bit, he comes back out swinging at them. Then goes on top of the lighthouse and starts shooting them from a distance. 

Planet takes off all his armor and pops like a grape.

Then on Spep’s stream he stalks Spep around to the End islands, generally just looks really threatening. Says he won’t remember this when he wakes up, but Spep will. 

7/15/24 

~14:00 ZAM: “[strained] dude, pangi I killed planet” PANGI: “[strained too]I know. Hey, it wasn’t your fault” ZAM: “i shouldn’t have even had a bow” 

He builds the tree and writes his first oath 

In the first draft he wrote “I cannot do anything that goes against the interest of the entire server”

he changed “entire server” to “majority of players” to “most players” 

And changed “attack any player” because chat went crazy about him not being able to punch anyone, to “kill any other players” 

7/18/24 

Flame and mapicc start fighting

22:40 ZAM: “dude I did give mapicc a heads up there, I can’t lie. [realizing] I’ve been playing all sides, I can’t lie. This is interesting. I’m just chummy with everyone, I dunno, i don't do it intentionally. I do it a little intentionally, i can’t lie, but not like, intentionally”

33:20 ZAM: “I really don’t like the idea of playing both sides, but like, like- I’m trying my hardest not to, [...] Like if you shove 100 dollars in my face like I’m probably gonna take it right? Like like [giggling], it’s just like, ugh, it’s so stupid [laughing] i don’t like this. I don't know, I’m opportunist I guess. I’m just an opportunist I guess because I'm pacifist and I don't wanna die." So. But like also I really just don’t like the idea of being someone who plays both sides, it’s so awkward” while watching the fight from a distance. "

7/20/24 

From 2:43:00 to 3:15:00 hops between group chats and instinctively gets information and relays it to everyone else. Actually just leaks every word he hears lol. 

4:51:10 “imagine flame goes on a killing spree just so he can pay you to make more builds lol’ (citrus) dude. Is the blood on my hands then? That’s something I was wondering, what if this becomes bad. To where they’re like murdering people just for the sake of like, whats it called, paying me. ‘Yes you're evil then’ (sin) aw shit. It’s my fault. I mean I guess it depends on how bad it gets. I felt really bad when they killed jepex for me. I can’t lie, in the moment I thought it was really funny but looking back, it’s literally the same as like. Like I think me asking them to kill someone is the same as me killing them myself, it lowkey does not matter. So I’m lowkey like having another moral dilemma right there, on that one. ”

“I’m gonna stop asking people to fucking kill people for me that’s stupid, i don’t want to do that anymore”

This is so interesting, because day 1 he just wanted the statistic, and it was okay for him to do traps or gaslight people and all that. Then it was no traps, no violence. Then it was it’s okay to influence the opinions of people who already want to kill the people I want dead. Now it’s like, even that is not okay.

7/21/24 building Flame’s volcano in one day

45:00 [unprompted] “do you know something I was thinking of, which like, i just feel like it would be so easy to turn like, any tree, at spawn, into a trap. It would be so easy right? [...] I’m not gonna do it! Just like a fun idea. [..] [starts making the trap] but then it would make it real. I shouldn’t do this actually. I- i shouldn’t do this. This isn’t a good idea. Nevermind. Nevermind. [rubs face] Ooh my god, back to building back to building. I’m building I’m just building. [puffs out breath] I’m just building. I’m building a castle. I’m not why would I - why would i even make a [giggles] why did I even do that in the first place.” 

2:43:00 breaking the bedrock of the end fountain to make a concrete duper “i feel really good at this. Like too good at this. It’s just holding down q, it’s not that special. But fuck. ‘It’s in your blood’ I don't want to be the guy that left behind, that broke all that bedrock, you know? I don’t want that to be my legacy, I don't want that to be my reputation. I don’t want that to be what I leave behind. Aw geeze. [breaks last bedrock] oh my god. [frustrated] That was effortless”

7:31:30 “‘it’s ok you can blame all your blunders on the demon’ (seri) [lore] what if there was no demon. [not lore] new headcanon. Just me trying to justify my acts. [soft giggle] waittt.. [pause] thank goodness the demon is real, so. the demon is real. Only i can see him” 

8:23:00 crashout over not being “able” to defend himself.  “‘its okay zam we saw how you are at the end of every single season’ (citrus) yea, you guys have. The deep darkness that’s within me, [giggle] ugh. ‘They’ll see… one day’ (mer) I don’t want them to see, no, that’s the thing, i don’t want them to see. [..] It’s just like, like I Could fight, it’s just such a hassle, to like, get into it, and then not, you know. Cause like, okay, okay, here here, let’s envision it, lets say I do want to fight people, right? theoretically, but, I don’t want to let out the evil evil darkness that’s within me, right? How the hell am I gonna do that when I’m constantly taking fights, constantly losing, constantly getting overly attached, overly invested in conflict, like how am i gonna, how am I gonna contain the demon within, if I, what’s it called, if I, if I’m constantly getting myself into fights? You know? ‘Getting good’ (chips) no but like I’m being dead serious, like cause, what’s it called, eventually they’re gonna hit me in a way that is gonna make me want to go full force, there’s no point in trying to fight if I’m not gonna go 100% all in, you know? So. I dunno. Maybe if I get better at my self control and discipline” 

So there’s two things. One, “it’s a hassle” is classic burnout. And you just have to wait for burnout to leave. And two, he is very self aware that someone will do something that will make him get invested. But he won’t flip that switch until that happens because there is no point. Which is very valid and wise. 

It’s such an interesting conversation, because it’s the first time he hasn’t made breaking his oath into a silly lore moment. It’s really settling into being a real part of him. He’s being honest about what fighting would actually do.

10:36:00 talks to jumper about his pacifism and their parallels. He tells her about how he knows he’ll get too invested and he wont want to hold back. As opposed to being unable. 

7/24/24 

53:10 Zam goes to the trial chambers again “dude wait these slimes have strength, are they gonna kill me? Dude I wanted to feel something but now I’m just not feeling anything actually. I was, I was, I was expecting more of a challenge”

7/25/24 day 1 peace trials

16:30 “do you think SB737 is going to kill me if he finds me? His layer’s off, I think he ran away from spawn after that one. I could see him trying though. I’ve lowkey, dude, lowkey i've been wishing someone would kill me, unfortunately I did starve to death, so now I don’t wish someone would kill me anymore. But like, it’s just been sooo peaceful, building these past few days you know? Like i haven’t ran into any kind of metal peril in soooo long like that’s crazy you know. It’s been a hot minute.”

First time he talks about wanting to be chased. 

37:00 annoyed about SB butting him in D teir for how easy he would be killed.  “‘zam is the most aggressive pacifist’ yea! Cause I mean how else am I supposed to let my anger out other than with my words. I still have emotions. They're still there” 

7/29/24 

1:07:24 still ignoring Bacon “If I’m gonna be a pacifist and not kill people, I should be able to hold a grudge somehow” “my only fighting method” 

Plotting the shift in zam’s mindset is like making a color spectrum and it’s just ever so slightly gradient-ed and before you know it it’s just all red.

8/17/24 

58:00  MANE: “but think about how many hearts I’ve given you before Zam”  ASH: “WAIT. ZAm is accepting hearts from people That Kill? That’s not very peaceful of you zam. That goes against your oath. You’re just accepting heart that has, that puts blood on your hands. I’m not even joking about this” ZAM: “I-, I don’t. I don’t think it does.” ASH: “You’re benefiting from the spoils of the death that you claim to be so against”  Zam jumps away from the conversation at the same time. nervously? 

ZAM: “[calmly] if kills have already happened what am I supposed to do to stop it. I only care about myself not killing people” [parkouring over to the roof of the house] ASH: “You literally” ZAM: “not other people. The server can do whatever the fuck it wants. I don’t care” PANGI” aaahhhhh” ASH: “That’s the most. That’s the most selfish view” 

ZAM: “I learned from you! The best side to play is all sides, right? That’s what you said [...] hypocrytical as fuck” ASH: “I mean, I’m not claiming to be any good person, I’m just saying your whole oath and code of honor is” ZAM: “I’m not either. I’m trying to be a good person but, hey” PANGI: “You’re doing a really bad job I can tell you that, Zam” ZAM: “yea. [swings around to look at pangi] coming from you is crazy” 

1:03:00 “‘you’ve only done build commissions for incredibly violent people huh’ (arch) that is something to consider huh, am I [sharp breath in] let me put on the lore music hold on. Am I. and I, I don’t think I’m the worst person to- okay. No. you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because there are worse people on this server. So I’m not that bad by comparison [...] You know I’m doing better than I did last season [...] So I’m okay. I’m happy with my choices I feel like. I dunno. I mean like gaining, gaining hearts is not the worst thing in the world, it’s kind of like the point of the server is it not? I dunno. Hmmm ‘i mean violent people are the ones who have the hearts’ (citrus) exactly! Yea, my only, the only people I CAN do business with is the violent people”

“But by taking hearts from them am I not encouraging them to kill more? Yea, that’s something to consider as well, you know? Cause, but it’s like. Ugggghhh let me read through the oath again. ‘Are they killing other violent people or innocents’ (arch) that’s true! I mean. They kill innocents when they feel like killing innocents it depends on the person i’m dealing with. [...]  I can’t control what other people do. It’s not selfish [heavy emphasis. Meaning ashsawg’s comment] it’s just like, me controlling what I can control. You can only control, you should only worry about what you can control, and what I can control is limiting myself.”

“I mean shit. What do I even want these hearts for” 

“‘you got one kill’ ‘you killed planet’ okay okay okay you killed planet okay. I hate how many people are talking about that. [..]  ‘YOU CANNOT DENY IT ZAM’ yes I fucking can! Yes I fucking can! Because I shot at him as a fucking like bit, because was obviously never to kill him, and he took off all his fucking armor. I’ve been over it! I have been over it like a million times it’s insane! I gave back the heart too like what. [opens statistics] Like it doesn’t even count. [closes statistics] It does not count. ‘You’re still killing’ [mocking] you're still killing. Okay actual like bot opinion. Bot take. Actual bot take is what this is. Insane. Like actually insane. The fact that people are still on this is craaaazy like actually crazy. ‘PANGI HASN’T’ oohhhh that’s what this is about. That’s what this is about. That’s what this is about, it’s about pangi, and and pangi being better than me okay.” 

“That’s what this is about. It means nothing to me. Means nothing to me. I don’t care. PANGI LITERALLY- okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. [giggle laugh] pangi is a pacifist because he wants to be. But that’s like. Dude, woogie 1 for 1 took my thing. Dude, it’s crazy how many people are pacifist why did everyone like take my thing I mean like the whole point is proof of concept is prove that it’s possible, right, but like heh heh. It’s also lame that other people are taking my thing. [more deranged leaning giggles] ‘everybody wants to be princezam.’ (mer) oh my god. “

8/19/24 

~1:11:00 found Mapicc in his base. MAPICC: “and i just like, when are you gonna kill people” ZAM: “pppffff [mocking/flabberghasted] ‘when are you going to kill people?’ [reduced to laughter] MAPCIC: ”mmhmm” ZAM: “I’m not!” MAPICC: “see that's so weird.” [...] ZAM: “you start critting me out I don’t fight back” MAPICC: “actually?” ZAM: “no like genuinely, yea” MPAICC: “wait. Okay [pots up and takes all armor off but helmet and boots]” 

1:34:00 “a little terrifying i can’t lie. it’s weird. I feel like after an encounter like that I’d have a teammate to go talk to about this. But there really isn't anyone like that this time around”

8/22/24 

3:30 about the mapicc infestation “It was a very interesting fight. Honestly one of my favorite fights of the season” 

19:40 “ohh ‘kaboodle the pacifist’ (evi4) Wait kaboodle the pacifist? Are we fucking serious. Yo. okay. Okay.  i’m not even going to say nothing bro. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not. I’m not even [starting to laugh]  going to say nothing, bro [deep breath in and out] how come the one season. Like the one season, that i do it and it’s like interesting, everyone else decides to do it. In season 4 no one copied subz. Everyone made fun of him. But now, but now i do it and everyone wants to fucking be me okay. Okay. no okay. No okay. No like. Bro. [so sad] [...] ‘Everyone is just scared of the big pvp-ers’ (arch) that’s true. It’s not even. It’s not even like me. Oh my god. It’s not even because i’m cool. No it’s not even because of me, it’s just they don’t want to get killed”

27:00 kab asks if she can talk to zam and get advice “oh bet. Oh i love giving advice to my fellow pacifists. My favorite thing to do ever” /sarcastic

31:40 Woogie drops in “Zam is amazing at making people peaceful”

34:00 “if your goal is pacifism, then yea, he’s passing, but if your goal is to not get murdered by people then you probably shouldn’t be destroying other people’s builds, you know. That’s how you start wars” about pangi’s pacifism. 

Which is ALSO interesting. Because zam cares about not starting wars because he doesn't want to get emotionally pulled into a fight.

ZAM: “its like i’m in a skit. And like, as soon as i start questioning one character, and another character comes out and is like “ooh i’m also a remake of you!” what the fuck is happening” 

“You know what’s keeping me going is that i’ll probably outlast them” 

42:40 “is this a bad thing? Am i bad for not wanting them to be a, [laugh] to be peaceful like me? Is that a bad thing? I mean like, i feel like, uhg. But it’s like, they- [sharp breath in] what is- what have THEY gone through? To want this change” 

“Like kaboodle is doing it to save her skin. Woogie is doing it to save his skin, like. It’s very different i feel like. It’s just very different. I [whispers] oh  my god. [spins around] what did. What do they know! What do they know. Oh my god. Fuck damn. I think that’s why i’m upset. It’s not that like, [long pause] bruh.” 

“How can i rise about the rest. That's what i want to do now. That’s what I wanna do now. I want to rise above the rest. That’s what i’m thinking about right now, i’ll be honest. How do I [sharp breath in] [blows air out] like. This is-. [grumble] this is stupid. This is dumb. I shouldn't even think about this. You know what this is dumb."

48:00 “it’s not like a fun thing to do. Like. I- being a pacifist has been like, it’s it’s had its moments i guess. I dunno though. Definitely, i’ll admit it, not the most.. fun. But uh. Thats. that’s besides the point. That’s okay. That’s.. that’s fine [deep breath in and out]” 

“‘being a pacifist isn't for everyone, you have to truly believe in the rules and know your own limits so you can be pacifist’ (hexlarry) but like that’s the thing, do i even like, fully believe in it? Cause now i’m starting to question myself. I mean I did it not so that i could save my own skin. I did it so that i could, i dunno, just avoid repeating prior mistakes. And things like that. Sooo. because getting myself into fights would probably lead me down a very very dark path and i don't want to [sharp breath] i don't wanna do all that so by avoiding conflict at all costs I, I can, what’s it called, hmmm [spins around] fuck [princezam distress noises] [...] ‘has something changed’ i dunno. I’d hope not”

“‘it feels like they’re mocking you a little’ (evu) a little bit! I guess so. That’s kind of true as well honestly. I dunno. Hmmm, it’s very. Very interesting. Very interesting turn of events. I dunno. It’s not that i feel like it’s my thing. I feel like everyone should be allowed to do it, it just feels like the way that they’re doing it kind of is like, i guess it is, i dunno. It’s a little bit like.. Hmm yea ‘it’s an easy way out to them’ (arch) to them, to them it doesn't have any of the same significance it does to me. They're doing it because they want to live longer, they want to hold onto their hearts longer, i’m doing it because I like- i essentially need to- ugh. I dunno. I’m doing it- hrmmm. No, i’m doing it because… Because i want to. Because I want to. I want to. It’s my decision. I want to do it. I dunno [jumps around thinking for a while]” 

The last part is said in the same tone he used during the Abyss arc when his team wasn't logging on to help him.

“It’s not about what other people have done though. It’s about me upholding an oath i guess. Me.. avoiding [giggle] repeating mistakes and stuff. Umm. i dunno ‘it’s a conflict with myself’ (mer) exactly. It’s entirely. Entirely within me. And that was a situation that, admittedly, I had control over. I could have just not shot my bow at him. It’s a lesson learned i guess. But. I dunno. I- I just hate it. I hate it so much because that was not meant to happen at all. Like. it’s ridiculous. Its just ridiculous i feel like. I dunno. ‘Bro is still talking about this’ yea because I care about it.”

8/23/24

5:38:00  WEMMBU: “you’re profiting off the economy of people being murdered” ZAM: “I don’t know if that’s true at all even. That’s just. [trying to talk while wemmbu is talking over him] Anyone who lives on this server is profiting off the economy bro. I don't know what you’re talking about. [...] That that’s like breathing air on this server is benefitting form the economy bro” WEMMBU: “and you’re the one that’s saying you’re and innocent soul bruh” ZAM: “i’m, somewhat innocent. I’m innocent to the point where I won’t lure someone to spawn so you guys can kill them. That's how innocent I am” WEMMBU: “wah wahh wah” 

And he leaves the group

ZAM: “Get me the fuck out of here. I simply participate in society. All i do is live and breathe air and try to live an honest to god living.”

~5:51:00 “‘Oh so you agree you’d be responsible in that scenario’ (arch) yea! If he’s going out of his way to kill people For That [the build he wanted to commission], like to pay For That, I feel like yea, I feel like then I’m definitely responsible. [...] But mane, flame, mapicc, they already have the hearts, I know they withdrew them from their hotbar, they did in front of me, it did the sound. So, yea. And flame just had a heart bank that he went and grabbed. So. yea no, those hearts were already acquired. They were, like, those kills happened, it’s over. It’s good.” 

8/24/24

2:13:00 “that was interesting. What a day. I almost hopped into a fight. Probably wont do it again, that was a one time offer. But. i dunno. I was willing to die for a cause. I wasn’t going to hit him.” 

“Maybe i faltered. Did I falter? By willing to fight? I wouldn’t hit him. I don’t think. Maybe I’d hit him. I don’t- [scoff] would it be fine as long as i don't kill him?” “it’s my rules” 

“Yea mapicc did get really excited when i mentioned pvp. That was really interesting. That was cool. I do have no critting yea. Hmmm. i dunno. I did just want to support my friend flame ‘you're just helping out a friend i think thats in the servers best interests’ (arch) that’s true. Yea. if i, i dunno, cause like the main goal is to just work in the server’s best interests. And i guess in that situation that, specific, little situation, fighting flame was actually in everyone, everyone who’s online’s best interests. Ironically. So yea. Despite it normally being the wrong answer, violence was kind of the answer to fixing that problem there. ” 

2:18:00  “I’m worried though. Like I feel like the lack of violence encourages me to like, i dunno” 

“I think people should be more violent, i think that’s fair, that’s what this server is about. I haven't changed my stance on that, the server is about killing people. It’s not about [giggle] the atrocities I’ve committed, that’s for sure” 

“‘That’s not very pacifist I mean’ like that’s whatever, it’s princezam then. It doesn’t matter. Pacifist is just the moniker I chose, but if it’s not fitting it’s not fitting. I’m doing whatever I believe” 

“‘the blowing up builds and killing weaklings was your more problem. not your violence inherently’ (arch) exactly. And unfortunately I feel like with any sort of violence [tsht] unfortunately all paths lead to that road. You know? Everything will just eventually get me there. I think it’s better to swear it off, you know. It’s just, It’s just for the better”

Flame blows up spawn.

2:52:00 “And my heart count too. I was trying to get to 20 but like - what does that even do, what is that even good for, if i can't do anythin- if i’m powerless to stuff like this, if i’m powerless to this. This. Like what’s the point, even like what’s-... I feel like everything I’ve done is just like actually completely futile now. Like, none of it matters. NONE of it matters, not even a little, if other people are just going to take up the mantle. What like, what’s the POINT?... I don't get it. I mean holding out, not giving in, despite all of this, would prove me as a way stronger player than him, but WHAT GOOD DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH. SO WHAT?! Like, he’s just going to do this again, like why does it matter? Why does it even matter? What the- what does moral highground get me? What does moral high ground even get me. Why did i think this was even a good idea even a little bit, [so loud] OH MY GOD. [pause] ‘It doesn't even mean anything to anyone but me’ (arch) exactly. This. oh my god. It’s not just to myself though (arch) it’s ahhh Fuck. It’s supposed to make up for everything I did- For just everything I did in general really. That’s what it’s supposed to be, but, like ah, does anyone care really? Does anyone care? Other than me? At this point I don't think so. There’s bigger problems. ‘Spawn looked the best this season’ it did. It really did. It really really did. It really did. [tabs out for a long time, just silent] i can't’ believe this. I can’t believe this. [sigh] oh my god. [leaning head back] Dude. and like. Oh my god. Yea no one is going to do anything that’s true. The fact of the matter is [laughing as talking] no one is going to do anything about this. Because no one cares. And that’s what he’s going to realize. [...] That’s all fine to me, it doesn't matter. It doesn’t matter. This is definitely the furthest I’ve wavered, on this path of mine. Dear god. [blows out breath] and i was the only one here to do anything about it oh my god [silence] ‘they did call me ground zero’ [puts head in hands while reading it] is it my fault? Is it my- wait you’re right. [breathing heavily] it kind of in a, in a weird, fucked up twisted way, it kind of is my fault. Because my stupid pacifism stuff it it spiraled out of control and got to woogie, got to pangi, it’s it’s like [grrr grumble] (all of chat is screaming that it isn't his fault.) I, oh my god. Oh my god. Dude like. I actually feel so dumb. I feel like I’ve wasted the past month or two. I’ve actually just feel like I’ve been wasting my time. Like, like none of that matters. Actually none of that matters, I feel like, anymore. And like, because I did all that, everyone else copied me. Everyone copied me, they were right! No, they were right. That’s the messed up part of this, is that they’re Right. And that they probably will get a fight out of this, that’s the Fucked up part of this” 

3:04:00 “If I fight them I give them exactly what they want. It’s so fucked up. There’s no, there's no winning option here. There’s nothing I can do to win” 

Realizes he can just rebuild. Rejuvenated in one second flat. 

“Do I just keep rebuilding it over and over? [...]  But I don’t care! I’m not giving up. I don't care, I don't care!” “this is literally what I do. What am I tripping for? This is literally what I do”

3:35:30 “I feel like most people would not have the mental fortitude to experience what I just experienced and then Not Fight. Like that is an absurd thing to do. But it’s a me thing to do. So” 

3:37:00 “i know i don't have all of my screws together, but i definitely, i think i could win a battle of mental fortitude if I wanted”

Talks to everyone and forms Gaia’s Hand

5:46:00 wrapping up stream along “dude I know like, i’m real confident and real happy and shit, but I , I am terrified. I am terrified [stares into a big cave thinking] i dunno. I'm not gonna second guess myself but. It’s just- it’s a scary battle. It’s a very scary battle. I dunno”

“Mean, I’m not alone. That's true. That definitely helps [...] I feel like the last time I spent a lot of time repairing spawn it didn't end too well. Lowkey that’s when everything went horribly wrong, actually. i feel like it’s just been downhill since there.”

“I am doing this to spite flame, but at the same time the thing I care about the most is just having the server where spawn can't just get destroyed. I dunno. That’s what I care about the most”

5:53:40 “‘you and your attachments to spawn’ (seri) [wistful] it’s, it’s the heart of the server. It’s the heart of the server. And, i dunno, I can’t, i can’t help myself but protect it. In every way that I can. I dunno. It’s just in my nature. Which is ironic, considering the atrocities I’ve committed.” 

8/29/24

44:30 “support the people trying to ban them and the builds won’t get destroyed anymore’ (chips) that’s true. But do the ends justify the means? Like sure I will get spawn builds being safe, but I’m, I also am taking some part in someone getting banned off the server. which, i dunno. I feel like i don't want to be a part of” 

45:00 “Is it for the greater good, or it for my greater good. It has to be objective, it can’t be a skewed biased point of view” 

1:05:20 “i can only control myself, and only the small few who have joined me” “kaboodle and woogie” “Ironically they’re truly the only ones who are part of gaia’s hand”

Week long break for MMCR

9/9/24

11:40 ZAM: “I’ve kind of realigned my look on the server [...] Everyone’s goal goes back to, like, killing. So I feel like if I help anyone I’m like sort of contributing to the violence on the server, which is something I- which I can’t prevent obviously but it’s not also something I’d like to contribute to. The whole point is I don't want to contribute to violence and you know, kill people I guess. I dunno” 

How far princezam has come. It was never about actual pacifism… except now it is. He truly is a pacifist now. He used to be a bad pacifist and now he’s just a pacifist for real. How interesting. 

19:00 “That’s just the spite and hatred in my heart. I’m full of hatred recently, that’s something i’ve noticed as well. Definitely something i’ve noticed” 

44:00 “I feel like nothing accomplishes anything. I feel like anything I would do would just make things worse. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me though. Maybe that's just me and the way I feel. I dunno” 

“I just want to win. You know? But how do I go about that even? There’s nothing to win against."

~1:27:00 “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” “interesting phrase considering the circumstance I’m in. [...] yea i mean violence is good to those who love it. I’m just unfortunately not one of those people. At least at the moment. [pause] Well I wouldn't say at the moment actually. I would say I’m not one of those people. For sure. Used to be. Not anymore.” 

1:53:00  “when i think of goals, the first thing that comes to mind is like, laying in a field of flowers. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I want to do. I dunno”

9/11/24

~40:00 “it makes me question what my path is, cause i’m not, i’m not i’m not i’m not  i’m not a killer or anything at least i don't want to kill anyone, i don't want to be doing that. Soo where does that leave me?  What am I gonna do, what am I princezam gonna do.” 

[thorias]

Since season 2 looks to be so jam-packed with stuff, I thought it would be fun to try to break down the episodes using the stories continuing from season 1 and the spoilery bits we learned from D23 and... yeah, there's a lot here.

I'm just making educated guesses right now, but I could easily see this happening in the show.

2x01 - Ancient Egypt. 'Rise of Apocalypse' adaptation. The team helps En Sabah Nur defeat Rama-Tut and Rogue makes her Faustian deal with him to get Remy resurrected. Bishop shows up at the end to collect everyone.

2x02 - The Future. 'Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix' adaptation. Scott and Jean spend some time raising teenage Nathan and are warned of the horrors that would be unleashed upon the world if Apocalypse were to ever rise to power. Bishop and the others show up at the end and the X-men return to the present.

2x03 - Present day. Bottle episode focusing on Forge's makeshift team, presumably consisting of some combination of Cable, Havok, Polaris, Iceman, Colossus, Archangel, Shadowcat and Emma Frost. They deal with the continuing fallout of Genosha/Asteroid M/the EMP and the ensuing chaos as Graydon Creed is poised to win the presidential election. Apocalypse begins positioning his chess pieces. The new Four Horsemen (let's say Deathbit, Madelyne/Pestilence, Shaw/War and Dazzler/Famine) make their first appearance and give the team a thrashing. The X-men return from the past/future at the end.

2x04 - The X-men are reunited, get caught up on everything they missed while they were gone and find Jubilee wherever she is. Magneto attempts to mend fences with Lorna, but it goes horribly since he did after all try to wipe out all life on Earth while she was, ya' know, on Earth. She doesn't forgive him, but convinces him to turn himself over to the authorities and answer for his crimes. Mags' second trial goes much worse for him than the first one did and he's thrown in a plastic prison like in X2; the last we see of him for a while (probably wishful thinking on my part, but you never know). Rogue leaves to search for Deathbit.

2x05 - Rogue confronts Deathbit. It goes horribly. She tries to absorb the Death persona out of him like she once did for Archangel, but Apocalypse has accounted for her powers this time and Deathbit is immune to them now. She's forced to fight him, shocked by Deathbit's ferocity and resentment toward her and not yet understanding what she needs to do to break Apocalypse's hold on Remy. The battle ends in a stalemate. Rogue is left confused and heartbroken as Deathbit escapes.

2x06 - Wolverine spotlight. Logan travels to Japan, searching for a way to get his adamantium back (I don't like this happening so soon, but we can assume from the D23 sneak peek that it'll probably go this way). He seeks out Lady Deathstrike since her father created the adamantium bonding process and has to fight Sabretooth for it.

2x07 - Nightcrawler spotlight. With the election looming, Kurt confronts his half-brother Graydon. It goes horribly. Mystique reveals herself, having infiltrated Graydon's campaign months earlier. Kurt tries to make peace with his family, but neither of them are interested in peace. The episode ends with Mystique assassinating Graydon and her continued allegiance to Apocalypse is revealed. She then takes Graydon's form and replaces him, meaning Apocalypse would control the White House if Mystique/Creed wins the election.

2x08, 9 & 10 - On the eve of the election, Apocalypse makes his move, committing acts of terrorism, giving Mystique/Creed more ammunition for the anti-mutant campaign Creed was running on, which Apocalypse has been secretly fomenting in order to provoke a human/mutant war. Xavier aides Rogue as she faces Deathbit again, allowing her to confront Remy on the psychic plane. He recreates the gala scene from 'Remember It' in Deathbit's mind, so Rogue can undue that little blunder by dancing with Remy this time and finally confessing her true feelings. Remy learns that Rogue had chosen him, not Magneto, and that she really does love Remy, which gives him the motivation to fight off the Deathbit persona. Meanwhile, the X-men battle the remaining Horsemen and Apocalypse. They're losing badly until a re-adamantiumed Wolverine, Xavier and Rogue, with Gambit, now free of Apocalypse's influence, arrive to turn the tide. Poccy is defeated, and with his machinations revealed, the public is swayed and President Kelly is re-elected.

Afterward, Gambit is back with the team, though he's left with trauma and PTSD from his death and resurrection. Xavier and the X-men are lauded as heroes in the media, so public perception is back on their side and things are looking up for a change... but unbeknownst to everyone, something is not right with Xavier as we get our first hint of Onslaught for season 3.

I think this accounts for every storyline we've confirmed so far, (or most of them at least) but that's just the stuff we've heard about. Who knows what else they've got in store for us that they haven't revealed yet. I'm crossing my fingers that we get longer episodes in s2 because they're definitely going to need more time to cover all this.

[burningexeter]

[WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN]

Before its cancellation, plans for a fourth and potentially final season of Martin Mystery was in the works from Marathon Media and years later, they were eventually leaked out and later confirmed to be true from the creators:

• Season 4 in a change of pace, would've been serialized by having stories that would span multiple episodes and make mini-arcs with them comparing it to the fifth and final season of Totally Spies!, another show of theirs.

• In one of the mini-arcs, we would have saw the return of the Gatekeeper who was last seen in the Season 2 finale which ended on a cliffhanger with him infiltrating the Center with the storyline picking that up with Martin and Billy uncovering it in a conspiracy within the Center itself.

• Others that would've happened were Jenni and returning characters Michelle Dubois, Darla and Kaitlin becoming new agents for the Center, an episode set in Chinatown that would've been an homage to John Carpenter's Big Trouble In Little China, creatures such as the Jersey Devil, mermaids that steal souls and the Ninki Nanka were to be included but in their own different ways, it was going to be revealed that the Center was founded by the first President Of The United States themselves, George Washington himself.

• A new character that would've been introduced and be added to the main cast is Troy — a british gymnast who died of a broken neck back in the 80s but is accidentally brought back to life by Diana and is now a corpse without half of his body and a snapped neck that is has to use duc tape to keep said head up. No, seriously.

• Now one major storyline that would've changed the show and recontextualize it is that while Martin figures it all out by himself, Diana discovers that M.O.M. is in fact her mother and his step-mother. The latter is already on thin ice and working her way to the top with the help of Martin after the Octavia Paine incident but at the end of one of the mini-arcs, Diana discovers this to her shock, disbelief and horror, only be immediately "caught" and kidnapped by M.O.M. who appears right behind her out of the shadows in her room. M.O.M. reveals that she wiped her family's memories of her and has kept them in stasis in order to keep their relationship from interfering with her role as head of the Center, leading to more of M.O.M.'s character being fleshed out which shows her as a strict and morally grey but loving and caring woman who will equally do anything to keep the Center afloat and anything to keep her family safe to which she's called out on by Diana for all of the things that she's been through and all of the things that's happened to her, leading M.O.M. to question herself. To show what kind of drama we're dealing with and were to be dealing with, an episode would've ended with just M.O.M. and Diana driving in a car with the former driving and the latter sitting next to her, Diana apologizes for everything that has just happened and M.O.M. says she know she is and that she's her daughter and nothing will ever change that, she'll always love and care for her no matter what and nothing will ever change that as well but from this point forward to she don't know when, her trust is something Diana is going to have to earn back. Diana hangs her head down in shame as M.O.M. drives off emotionless.

Oh, and M.O.M.'s real name is revealed to be Olivia Lombard.

[apricior]

breathe

after surviving the fight in hell, normal has a panic attack.

spoilers for season 2 episode 46!!!!

TWs: blood, light body horror, suicidal thoughts/suicidal ideation and anxiety attacks

[also on ao3!]

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Remember what dad told you, Norm. Five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. Easy. It’s easy.

Five things you can see. Scary in front of him, asking him something that he can’t hear. Something red on the floor, a crimson pool—

Things were supposed to work out. This is how it is in the movies, right? In the plays? They were supposed to save the world, and everything would eventually be fixed. And they would be happy, they would all be happy.

They were all supposed to make it.

No. Stop.

Breathe.

Let’s try this again. Five things you can see. Link looking at him and putting a hand on his shoulder. The ceiling lights that are so bright that they almost blind him. A lifeless body on the floor, slumped against the wall—

Normal has always been optimistic. He has always tried to see the best in people, even when they did not really deserve it, and he has always found the bright side on the darkest situations. He should be doing the same thing now, right? Lincoln is fine. Scary is fine. Taylor is fine.

Normal is not.

And H…

No. No, no, no. Stop.

BREATHE.

Again. Let’s do this again.

Five. The desks. The workers. Staples. Bright ceiling lights. The portal closes. Done.

Four things he can touch. Easy. His hoodie. Scary’s arm. The cold floor tiles. The part of his face where his mustache used to be. Done.

Three things he can hear. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Done.

Two things he can smell. Sweat. Blood. The products that were used to clean the office.

Will they get rid of it? Will the ammonia get rid of the crimson red? Will the bleach and the disinfectant make the smell disappear? Normal wishes that he could drink them, swallow them so that they would clean his insides. Maybe they would help him reunite with H—him.

Him. He cannot say his name, cannot even think about it.

He should have been awake. If he had been awake, maybe he could have saved him. He should have saved him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Normal’s hands are stained. He will never get rid of the blood. No matter how many times he washes them, he knows it will be there. Every time he looks at his palms they will be red, and he will hear those five words that keep repeating in his head over and over again.

BREATHE. BREATHE.

Normal falls to the ground. He is almost done. He needs to finish counting, and then he will be fine, just like his dad promised him. He will be fine, and his lungs will fill with air again, and he will stop feeling like he is going to die.

Almost done. One thing he can taste.

One. Metal in his mouth. Bilis. Blood.

Fuck. That is more than one thing.

He does not feel better.

He repeats the list again, and then once more, like a spell or a prayer, but it does not work, it doesn’t fucking work.

Fuck.

This is it, right? They are not in hell anymore; this is the real world, which means that this is not a trick or an illusion, not a vision created to torture him. There is no turning back now. This is it. They loved each other, and now he’s dead. Hermie’s dead. His body is lying lifeless on the floor, a hole right where his heart should be, and the last thing he said was that he liked him too. Hermie dedicated his last breath to him and he could not save him.

Normal feels like his insides are going to come out of his mouth one by one, and maybe that would be a good thing, because he would be as empty as he feels. Maybe his soul left with Hermie’s. That is reassuring, right? The idea that somewhere their essences are together, and maybe they can finally get the chance to be happy there.

And what is left for him in here? Just this emptiness, this vast loneliness and desperation, this knowledge that he had true bliss right in front of him before it was violently taken from him. He wishes he could switch their roles. If he could, he would rip his heart off his chest and put it inside Hermie’s, and maybe that would be enough to bring him back to life.

He wants to die. He wants to die.

Breathe. Breathe.

Please, Hermie, breathe.

But deep down, he knows that nothing can be done now. His friends kneel next to him and wrap their arms around him, but he barely feels it.

It’s over now.

Hermie’s gone.

[nofomogirl]

Before the Beginning (part 2.3.)

Part 1.1. | Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.4. | Part 1.5. |

Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.4. |

Hello, it's been a while.

If you're jumping in the middle, hi, this is a series of posts where I discuss things I've noticed in the Before the Beginning scene and suggest how they might shed new light on other scenes from both seasons.

Today let's do our favourite thing, shall we?

Let's revisit the Bandstand Breakup again.

Right after Aziraphale and Crowley argue over the possibility of killing Adam, and Crowley turns to leave, there's this memorable exchange:

A: You can't leave, Crowley. There isn't anywhere to go. C: It's a big universe. Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we can go off together. A: Go off together? Listen to yourself.

and ever since S1, we've been arguing about exactly what was stopping Aziraphale from taking Crowley's offer. Why, despite clearly finding the idea appealing, it just as clearly wasn't an option he would seriously consider. Was it more because he wasn't able to choose Crowley or because he wasn't able to abandon Earth?

There are many sound arguments to support both and, like most people, I used to believe the truth to lay somewhere in between.

But then S2 happened, the Before the Beginning scene happened, and the bomb was dropped that it might actually be the entire universe that was on a 6000-year deadline, not just Earth.

True, we don't know for sure which is it, and more importantly, which Aziraphale believes, but if we assume that to the best of his knowledge, the end of the world means the end of all material creation, then you have to admit it changes the scene quite a bit.

It means that running away with Crowley wasn't something the angel could technically do but just wouldn't, it was objectively not an option. If it was just like Death said - if Armageddon happens anywhere, it happens everywhere - Aziraphale was right - there wasn't anywhere to go - and Crowley was wrong - the size of the universe made no difference.

Now the big questions are (1) why Crowley would propose running away, and (2) why Aziraphale hasn't called him out.

Regarding the first one, I've offered some theories in part 2.2:

Crowley may actually be right, and it's Aziraphale who's misinformed

Crowley's knowledge of the universe's fate might have been erased from his mind

Crowley could have repressed the knowledge himself due to trauma

Please feel free to take your pick.

I've already confessed my personal HC is the last one, and I stand by it. There's just something about Crowley consistently refusing to consider the worst-case scenario and behaving like it isn't an option. Book canon explicitly called him an optimist but I don't think that's the reason in the show.

Back to question (2) then. If running away was objectively impossible, why haven't Aziraphale simply pointed it out?

If we look at just that one scene, it's not hard to explain.

A: Go off together? Listen to yourself. C: How long we have been friends? Six thousand years! A: Friends? We're not friends! We are an angel and a demon.

You know how it goes.

My point is, like most of us after S1, Crowley assumed it was the "together" part that was the issue and addressed it. In other words, Aziraphale got distracted by another touchy topic.

Easy.

But I'd like to offer another explanation: Aziraphale doesn't have it in him to break Crowley's bubble.

This is my HC right now and here's why:

Aziraphale did give Crowley the bad news once, the very same exact piece of bad news, before the beginning, and he saw what it triggered and where it eventually ended

Aziraphale generally isn't the kind of person who easily delivers hard truths

Aziraphale is uncomfortable with confrontations

Aziraphale understands the absolute horror that is his and Crowley's situation and understands that not thinking about it is often the only way not to lose their mind

That's it for today, thank you for reading! I know I'm posting less frequently right now - for some reason putting my thoughts into ordered words has become harder recently... But the thoughts are still there and so is the desire to share.

[abhainnwhump]

I'll Make You Mine Masterlist

Read on Wattpad and AO3

NIGHTMARE is a sadistic bastard, that's just a fact. His goal is to corrupt Dream's soul and prevent the Doodlesphere from feeling positive emotions ever again. He has a new plan to do it. His brother is smart enough to know his games, but one of his friends isn't.

INK doesn't know what to think of the letter on his nightstand. It only added onto the strange missing things and nightmares he's been having. Was Nightmare asking him on a date? Pfft, that was ridiculous, there was no way- wait. When did he get so pretty? When did Nightmare get so perfect?

DREAM has the hope of the entire multiverse in his hands. With their best friend and Protector of the Doodlesphere missing, they have to do both Ink's job and their own, along with making sure no one else goes missing. He's stressed and exhausted, but he can't rest now. Come on Dream, stay . . . awake . . .

Content warnings:

- Abusive Inkmare

- Gore

- Graphic body horror

- Medical experimentation without anesthesia; we die like half the characters in this story.

- Physical and psychological torture

- Traumatic events

- HEAVY brainwashing/conditioning

- Stockholm Syndrome/Lima Syndrome

- Dehumanization/objectification

- Major character deaths

- Specific warnings I will put on the chapters that need them.

Chapters:

1. Sadistic Experiment: Nightmare

2. High on Sweetness: Ink

3. The Puppeteer's Warning: Nightmare

4. Nightmares Don't Mean Anything: Ink

5. Last Minute Preparations: Nightmare

6. Let's Get This Over With: Ink

7. Should've Could've Would've: Dream

8. Lure into the Darkness: Nightmare

9. True Colors . . . Or Lack Of: Ink

10. Every Action has Consequence: Dream

11. Perfect Backup: Nightmare

12. Make Me Your Masterpiece: Ink

13. Killer's Twisted Surprise: Dream

14. Behavior Modification: Nightmare

15. Toys Don't Talk: Ink

16. Candy Corruption: Dream

17. The Battle for Birdtale: Nightmare

18. Guardian of Nothing: Ribbon

19. Rainbows Over Shadows: Dream

20. Stitch by Stitch: Nightmare

21. Welcome to the Show: Ribbon

22. Mind Sickness: Dream

23. No More Denial: Nightmare

24. A Night to Remember: Ribbon

25. The Final Star Sans Standing: Dream

26. Backstabbing Crash: Nightmare

27. I Can Fix Him: Ribbon

28. New Ally New Plan: Dream

29. For Our Future: Nightmare

30. Captive to Queen: Ribbon

31. Into the Castle of Night: Dream

32. Restore the Balance: Nightmare

33. Better Late than Never: Ribbon

34. A Darker Lie: Dream

35. Heart Made of Lead: Nightmare

36. Pastel Redesign: Ribbon

37. Nightmare's Labyrinth: Dream?

38: Final note

Art:

Ribbon's (Doll!Ink) Reference Sheet

Human Ribbon Reference Sketch

Ribbon Apology Doodles

Azurem's Ribbon Art

Shadorio's Ribbon Art

Azurem's Ribbon + Blossom Art

Azurem's Chapter 20 Ribbon Art

Depravitycorner's Ribbon + Blossom Art

Shadorio's "Nightmare Throwing Error off a Balcony in Chapter 24" Art

Azurem's Human Ribbon Art

Artisticauras' Ribbon Art

Artisticauras' Ribbon Profile Pic

Inkedartdragons' Ribbon and FTFO Ink Art

KK_TheAnimator's Ribbon and Nightmare Art on Twitter

Shipanhookq's 'Better than This' Oneshot

Related Asks:

Prompt: Killer wants to hang out with Cross (canon, takes place between chapters 31 and 33)

Prompt: Nightmare is a racist

Prompt: Nightmare misgenders Ink

Prompt: Nightmare misgenders Ink: Electric Boogaloo

Prompt: Nightmare misgenders Ink: The Empire Strikes Back

Prompt: Nightmare misgenders Ink: Ribbon officially becomes goth

Prompt: Nightmare misgenders Ink: Separate the Star Sanses

Prompt: Nightmare tortures Ink and becomes ableist

Prompt: What if Ink asked for help with the letter back in Chapter 4?

Prompt: Dream is 110% Done with Nightmare's Shenanigans.

Prompt: Nightmare Surrenders for Ribbon

Prompt: Possible Cross x Killer x Dream

Prompt: Possible Cross x Killer x Dream 2: Dream is Pissed off

Splatoon Classes

Ribbon's Favorite Song

Headcanon: Ribbon's Seasonal Outfits

Ribbon + Blossom take over Wattpad

Nightmare's Villain Song

No Hope for Ink

Ribbon's Birthday

Chapter 37's Inspiration

Clarification on Ribbon's Happiness

[jovenshires]

endless au edits: smosh theatre's seasonal lineup (2/4)

keeping up with the run of smosh classics, smosh's second production of the year will be a rendition of little shop of horrors in the spring, directed by the other esteemed smosh co-founder, ian hecox. as per usual, any hecox production is certain to be a delicious twist of comedy and tragedy, and this show fits that descriptor to the t. packed to the brim with bright and colorful costumes, elaborate props, and punchy dark humor, little shop makes perfect sense for a director well-known for finding the bright spots in the darkness (and vice versa). with his trusty stage manager sidekick and previous fellow director, spencer agnew, by his side, hecox is sure to make this musical a hit. as for the cast, fans will be delighted to see smosh's resident powerhouse courtney miller as audrey, a hopeless romantic with a heart of gold. miller is not only a vocal and theatrical legend, but also both nonbinary and queer, something they noted that they hope to bring to the role of audrey. miller shared the news on twitter earlier today, saying, "i cannot wait to bring to you this fantastic person i've gotten to know over these past few months. i've put a little piece of myself into her, and i just want you all to know this is our best, gayest show to date." smosh certainly leaned into this idea by making her leading man fellow queer actor and fan-favorite funnyman, tommy bowe. bowe has been with smosh for seven years now; over that time, he's gone from lighting director to bit-part actor to, finally, leading man. this will be the first smosh show bowe's ever taken the lead on, and as i know firsthand from working with him on several other theater productions, no one deserves it more. bowe also shared the news to his social media today, saying on his instagram that this is "a dream come true." we previously saw bowe and miller side-by-side in last year's production of les miserables as thenardier and madame thenardier respectively. as you may recall from my review, the two than proved that they have electrically fun chemistry and excellent comedic prowess, which is extremely promising for this production. i, for one, couldn't be happier for them, and i cannot wait to see how queer this show can really get. other than the two incredible leads, this may be one of the most interesting and unique casts smosh has ever assembled. starring in his first feature role at smosh is trevor evarts as orin scrivello, dds, audrey's controlling, masochistic boyfriend. known for his previous (and part-time continuing) work at the mythic playhouse, evarts is a mangenue on the rise to stardom, and this show is the perfect launchpad for his career. in an interview posted today with theater weekly, evarts said that he was "so excited to join the cast," stating boldly that, in his opinion, "smosh is the future of theater." as trevor's talent is so evidently rooted in his quick-witted, raunchy comedy, there is no doubt in my mind that evarts will make the perfect killer dentist. you know how the saying goes, though; something old, something new. thus, it should be no surprise that we will see two returning faces to the smosh stage, specifically mari takahashi (audrey ii) and joshua ovenshire (mr. mushnik). after nearly four years of absence, the two original cast members are returning for a much-anticipated reunion with the smosh crew. since their original leave, takahashi and ovenshire have worked together on several minor productions, as well as beginning their own podcast. today's episode confirmed that they would be making their re-debut on the smosh stage, discussing why they left and, more importantly, why they're coming back. as an actor, takahashi is known for her rich singing voice and commanding presence on stage, while ovenshire's specialty lies in physical humor and over-exaggerated personas. i can't think of better additions to this cast - although it will certainly be interesting to see how well the old blood blends with the new...

[hellboundwrites]

GHOULS HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Halloween season has arrived, and I've decided to note some of the headcanons that I've had in mind for the ghouls recently.

Here are my favorite ghouls / by elements

🪐Omega = he's not really a Halloween guy. I mean, they already wear costumes. He can't be bothered to put effort into it. Just to fit in, and because it makes his companions happy, he'll dress up as an alternative version of ghouls. He might come out of the abbey in his true form because it's the perfect opportunity for it, or just add something to his usual look that enhances the "infernal" aesthetic. In the end, he's the one ghoul that actually scares people away, even without trying.

🪐Aether = always wears handmade costumes. It's elaborated with a lot of details but comfy. Halloween is for him the best opportunity to create a look for himself that he usually wouldn't have the courage to wear daily. He might cosplay as a 70-80's rockstar for example, and you'd recognize who he's supposed to be from miles away. Also more importantly, he's the costume-nurse. He always makes sure his costume has an integrated bag or pockets for glue and stitches. Last year for example, he was a jedi, and he was very happy about being able to wear a discreet tool belt.

🪐Phantom = of course, a vampire. But he'll only wear something dark and classic. Think old horror movies. He'll have his hair pull back, very bad fake fangs, red contacts, a cape… He'll also be fully invested in his role all night, so expect to hear some old English come out of his mouth at all times. Just call him by his character's name exclusively !

⛈Zephyr = loves having costumes that include his disabilities. Although he can walk just fine, going trick-or-treating is very long and difficult for him. He decorated his wheelchair as the Scooby-Doo van last year. He's done a lot of physical therapy this year though and feels excited about trying canes instead.

⛈Cirrus = she likes opening to kids that trick-or-treat at the Abbey's doors. In consequence, she will usually wear something that'll be easy to understand for them. Can be a simple witch, Morticia, Emily from the Corpse Bride… Last year she was Maleficient. Her costumes are never modest, though. She puts a lot of work into looking believable. It's a lot of organization and stress, but she always cherishes the kids' reaction in the end.

⛈Cumulus = She's always something evil. She doesn't cosplay as anyone in particular, and only makes her own looks. She loves elaborated makeup. She can paint her whole body if she desires too. Don't ask her who she's supposed to look like, this is always an original from her collection. She's here to impress.

🌿Mountain. Mountain... = he always fails his costumes. Nothing fits him. He never plans long enough in advance for it to work. He's disappointed about it every year, and still can't manage to fix it. This year though, he finally gathered the courage to ask for help. He'll have Sunshine to help him find clothes, and Cumulus for the hair and makeup. He'd like to be a hobbit, but he's starting to think he'll be more believable if he cosplays Gandalf - of course, he's not really hobbit-sized. If he can have an excuse to smoke all night, well...

🔮Sunshine = she doesn't have time for costumes. Her main concern is to be the party's organiser. Before she joined the Project, the ghouls had never planned any kind of gathering together for Halloween. She wants to be with her family and that's the only thing that counts. She'll just put something a bit festive, do her hair and put on some "scary" makeup, (which for her is dark shadow and eyeliner). Maybe washable dye or glitter in her hair this time around ? Nothing that can make dancing and running around uncomfortable !

🔮Swiss = is there a better opportunity to be naked ? On Halloween, his sole missions are to 1.be sexy 2.dance. Whatever year it is, his shirt is always wide open and tucked in his pants to enhance his tight waist, his chest always exposed, and his feet always moving... He doesn't mind any addition of costume or makeup that will make him prettier, but never purposefully goes that way by himself. 🔮Aurora = absolutely has the most feminine costume you'll see the entire night. She cannot not be hot, but maybe not as intensely as Swiss. She's the girl that wears the bunny outfit, the Barbie outfit, the Tinkerbell or Daphne outfit... The hair is down and the skirt is mini. Her only rule is : sexy but always secure. She has to wear warm tights and good shoes. Being pretty shouldn't stop you from running, jumping, and staying up all night. Special mention : this year, since it's their first Halloween together, they want to do a hot-couple-costume.

🌊Rain = has the boring but cute costume. If you don't know him, you can't really see how it's a costume most of the time - to be honest he always looks like that. He just genuinely doesn't need more material than what he already has. He thinks dressing up is cool but hates having to spend his whole night adjusting his costume or being careful with it. Last year he was the Phantom of the Opera, but he found the mask restraining. This year he's thinking about maybe a proper suit, a hat, his usual jewels and a bit of makeup. With some luck it'll pass as a period costume.

🌊 Mist = will always hide herself under her costume. You can never recognize her. The only thing she cares about, is surprising others. If she dresses as a character, it'll be a slay version of them. This year she's doing the Grinch, so expect green manucure, a pink dress and fake eyelashes on that green fursuit. Count on her to wear bad bald caps and colored paint all over her body. She doesn't take herself too seriously and is only here to have fun.

🔥Alpha = much like Omega, doesn't care about Halloween. You'll find him doing his actual job in the Abbey, at the yearly ritual that none of the new ghouls have the decency to assist. Traditions are really lost with the young generations...

🔥Ifrit = was, is, and will always be the guy who shows his muscles. He's into action movies and old rockstars, so it's only ordinary that he dresses as such. He'll be Han Solo, or Freddy Mercury, or Wolverine. Ifrit has the softest heart out there, but he's peak masculinity when it comes to looks, and he cares about his heroes. Right now, he's into 00's sci-fi/horror and still searching for some cool costume that will stick to his skin just *right*.

🔥Finally, Dewdrop = Don't ask stupid questions. Don't joke about Halloween with him. Don't even make suggestions. He has already had everything planned since November 1st. He has notebooks full of dark designs for corpse paint that involve fake (or real ?) blood, and a wide range of colored face paints in his drawer just for that event. He'll spend his afternoon looking for the perfect color, and he'll do intricate designs with extremely thin brushes on his face before the night starts. Dewdrop needs to look like he just sacrificed something in an old forest and burnt a church. He loves the theatrics of wearing long dark robes and being covered in blood. Halloween truly is his way to express himself and explore his own graphic world.

If you come across this post and see your fave missing, feel free to add your headcanon for them.

[crowleysgirl56]

Wildest dreams wishes for Good Omens Season 3 which will probably not come true but I can still hope hey!

Number 10.

I know I’m not the only one who is desperate to see an “Aziraphale saves Crowley” moment in season 3. Seasons 1 and 2 showed Crowley coming to Aziraphale’s rescue on multiple occasions, so a grand reversal of this for season 3 is one of my very hot desires. I put forth my imagined scenario below:

The ultimate battle between heaven and hell has begun. Aziraphale and Crowley have chosen their side. The side of “Us”. They fight together, completely in sync with one another. Powerful angelic and demonic miracles blast from their hands. They fight in the heavens, their wings outspread, both glittering in the blazing sunlight. Aziraphale once again holds his flaming sword. Crowley turns to him during a rare pause in the battle and admires his angel. “Look at you!” Aziraphale looks over at Crowley, who moves back slightly hovering in the air to admire him further in all his glowing glory. “You’re gorgeous”. Both their smiles are radiant. They know exactly what they are fighting for.

Suddenly Crowley gasps, his body tenses. Aziraphale looks down at first in confusion at the sight of a sharp bloodied point protruding from Crowley’s chest. Icy cold realisation hits him just as the evil grinning face of Michael comes into view from behind Crowley’s shoulder. She pulls the spear from his back, her face triumphant. Crowley’s beautiful golden eyes holds Aziraphale’s gaze for a moment, then roll to the back of his head as his wings go limp, and he plummets from the air.

“CROWLEY!” Aziraphale screams, as he hurls his flaming sword directly at Michael. The sword rotates end over end hitting its mark square in Michael’s chest catching her completely off guard.

Aziraphale not waiting around to witness the result of his throw dives down after Crowley. He gains on the plummeting figure of his love but the demon is falling too fast. Aziraphale chokes back the panic rising in his throat along with the unbidden thoughts that he might be too late. He stretches out his hands, beating his wings faster and harder, willing himself to close the distance and grasp Crowley before it’s too late. To his horror he can see the ocean below fast rising to meet them. Down, down Crowley falls. Aziraphale grits his teeth and stretches out that little bit further. “Almost there, almost there” he thinks to himself.

Too late. Crowley plunges into the water. The impact retracts his wings back into the ethereal plane where they usually reside. As he sinks into the depths Aziraphale enters the water like a torpedo. Thankfully the surface tension of the water has slowed Crowley’s decent measurably and Aziraphale is finally able to catch up to him. But not before he notices the terrifying cluster of air bubbles releasing from Crowley’s mouth. They don’t need to breathe, obviously, but in his weakened state Crowley’s corporation seems to have forgotten this. At last reaching his strong arms firmly around Crowley, Aziraphale miracles them back to the only place of sanctuary and safety he can think of; the bookshop.

Collapsing onto the floor in a shower of spray, Aziraphale gasps Crowley’s name, his hands shooting to cradle his head, then immediately begins to give him mouth to mouth, before realising that isn’t necessary. Chiding himself for his panicked stupidity he instead extends his hands over Crowley’s chest and calling upon his powers as supreme arch angel heels the wound made by the spear, at the same time as drawing the sea water from his lungs. Crowley finally gasps then, with back arching off the ground screams in pain from the angelic healing. As quick as it started however the pain dissipates, and taking deep shuddering breaths Crowley opens his eyes and stares into the concerned face of his rescuer. His angel.

“Hey Angel” he whispers, still breathing heavy. “Um…watch out?”

Aziraphale, with relief flooding through him, pulls Crowley up off the floor into a tight embrace. His wings still out, wraps them protectively around the soaked demon. Choking back tears and a small laugh he playfully replies, “Don’t pretend you did something noble. Neither of us saw Michael coming and you know it”. Crowley hugging Aziraphale back just as tightly mumbles into his shoulder, “Thanks. I guess I owe you one”.

As he breaks their embrace, Aziraphale gently places his hands either side of Crowley’s face, tenderly stroking his cheeks. “You don’t owe me anything dearest, except to promise to stay eternally by my side.”

Crowley, overcome with emotion pulls his angel into a long, spine tingling kiss, bringing out his own wings once more to mingle with Aziraphale’s.

After what feels like an eternity, yet nearly not long enough, Crowley breaks their kiss and presses his forehead to Aziraphale’s sighing, “We should probably get back to the fray”.

“Oh please, five minutes? Can we please just have five minutes?” The deep and desperate longing in Aziraphale’s voice matches the tired ache in Crowley’s own chest, an ache that was there long before a spear ever pierced it.

“Oh course Angel” he whispers back. “Anything you want”.

[yeswegetityoulovepodcasts]

Audio Drama Recs and Reviews

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality. If you ever wanted to get an unhealthy emotional attachment to the AI and anxiety - this one is for you. The first season seems like a collection of stories about supernatural objects in the museum. In later seasons we get a pretty high stakes plot with many cliffhangers + stories about the objects. Also has no romance as a major plot and it rarely appears in the stories so as an aro I love this one.

Hello From the Hallowoods. Well this one is very queer to the point of neopronouns and genderfluidity queer. Great Age range representation. Also very anti capitalist. There are many (no seriously like MANY) characters, engaging plot and one narrator with a very soothing voice telling us a story about humanity last days, demons, ghosts, libraries and revenants. Personally I feel like it has a very 1-world contry point of view but the pros outweigh the cons.

The Wrong Station. If you are not a fan of overarching plots and need good quality horror content this one is for you. It's a horror anthology podcast - every episode has a different setting though there are some connections between the names my favs are set in the past (esp. Alternative Italy or Byzantine) but is also has some pretty decent midwesrern gothic and future horror episodes.

The Silt Verses. This one is about gods and those that have to deal with them. About the world where ideal rules over the material and the entities made of those ideas are hungry gods. Not as hungry as the system that exploits those ideas though. The most terrifying thing about this podcast is how small the difference is between this world and ours is. This one is made by I Am in Eskew authors so give it a try if you need a good existential and relatable horror. Also has the great aroace feral old woman as one of the characters and I love her with all my heart.

True Tales of the Illuminati This one is a short comedy telling about shenanigans in the Illuminati organization and all the ways they fuck their shit up. First two seasons are set in the Ancient Egypt - 3rd in the 20th century America. If you want something light hearted, short and similar to the Parks and Recreation - try this one. If you want more audio drama workplace comedy go and listen to the New Ages.

Life with Althaar - sci-fi podcast/workplace comedy about a space station + awkward alien roommate who wants to be friends with a human. It uses word gentlebeings, okay?! I loved the first 2 seasons but the 3 season wasn't updated in a year, so i am waiting if it's come back. This is essentially my comfort podcast so i do hope it comes back to us.

[patricksteelebodger]

Look back at the Highlights of Animation 2023!

Happy New Year, everyone! While we officially begin our journey of 2024, I wanted to talk about and look back at the highlights from 2023, mainly that of the media/animation:

First off, The Owl House released the last two episodes of their 3rd and final season (For the Future and Watching and Dreaming), and boy was it such a great end to a brilliant show (especially as the first words of each special spell out 'Thanks for Watching' as it is a message from Dana and the crew thanking us for watching the show!

Disney and Warner Bros also celebrated their 100 year anniversaries, as both companies were found on the same year! (1923-2023) Not to mention, Disney released a special animated short, Once Upon a Studio, to help celebrate the 100 years of Disney animation and magic, with about 500 characters of Disney's animated feature films, shorts and other various works coming together.

We also got some big movies, such as the 2nd instalment of Spider-Verse, Elemental, TMNT: Mutant Mayhem and Wish (Best of luck if any one of them win the Oscars best animated feature this year!)

Speaking of films, only that, the Super Mario Bros. Movie was also released as well! And while it's true that there's some mixed feedback about it (especially about Chris Pratt voicing Mario), it was a great film that I know many video game/Mario fans were waiting to see.

Also, the long awaited Five Night's at Freddy's movie was finally released (I'm not a fan of that game series, or horror films and/or games, but I know that fans are happy to get to see it).

This year has also been a big year for Indie Animation, as we got more episodes of Helluva Boss and Murder Drones, with a cast of new characters.

And new Indie Animated shows as we were introduced to Lackadaisy and the Amazing Digital Circus, giving us what we're to expect in future!

We also finally got news of Hazbin Hotel, as it will be released on Prime Video on January! After 4 years of waiting, the grand opening is near!

Also, several more great shows came to an end, such as anime series Pokemon and Sailor Moon, as the former concluded Ash and Pikachu's incredible journey and latter had the final instalment of the Sailor Moon Crystal series in the form of the Sailor Moon Cosmos 2-part film.

And lastly, Hilda, another of my fav shows, had it's most fantastic heartwarming and satisfying ending with it's 3rd and final season after 5 years of adventures with 3 seasons and a movie in-between!

So happy about the animation lot we got this year, and I can't wait for what's in store for the animation of 2024!