#seduce me with pretty bards

[jaskierswolf]

Rolling up to your masquerade ball, barely out of the car door:

EYELINER!BARD, I AM FERAL

Oh god. Same. He's so unbelievably hot. The new shirt is chefs kiss. The stubble is driving me mad. The messed up hair. The eyeliner.

I am unwell.

Also I would like to take a moment to say Philippa could actually destroy me and I would thank her. Like it is a good day to be bisexual.

[i-love-my-exhoes]

Playing my first ever actual dnd campaign!

Accidentally seduced a wizard (I thought I was just offering to drink together but my nat 20 on persuasion made it more lmfao) bg3 really is JUST like dnd

[domsaysstuff]

Okay so this idea has been rocking around my empty skull for some time now just we know that Eddie can be a pretty mean DM and a shithead and I've been thinking abt romances in D&D and how it would work in Hellfire

And I had this thought that Eddie would like be "no romances!!" to the Corroded Coffin group (before the kids joined) and they're like why? and Eddie just to tease them says that he doesn't want to pretend to fall for their smelly ugly faces

Which just motivates them to try and seduce like every character that Eddie introduces for a fucking month and it leads to the creation of the rule: Every romance/seduction directed roll must be rolled above 15 to succeed AND if Eddie decides that the attempt is particularly bad the roll is with disadvantage

The Corroed Coffin boys are obviously teasingly like ohhh so we get an advantage if it's good?

"Doubt that would happen boys, but sure, if you make me, Eddie fucking Munson, to blush like a fair maiden then you'll get the advantage on the roll"

They try, they really do, but all the CC boys succeed in doing is killing off all of their party in three sessions and Gareth who is a little shit is actually rolling his third character (because the consequences of a failure are fucking brutal) by the time Jeff and [unnamed freak] give up

After that they know better (except Gareth who still sometimes does that just to annoy Eddie and be a little shit) to try and then the kids join Hellfire and Eddie has even less of an desire to flirt with fucking Wheeler, Henderson and Sinclair (they're baby children!!)

But the kids are a little shits too and they see Gareth being a little shit so they copy

It ends badly for them, they gripe about Eddie being unfair because like "all three of us have girlfriends Eddie and you don't so we clearly know more about romance then you do" Dustin not only gets a flick on the head for that but his character might have ended up being put into situations™ throughout the session that are "totally unfair!"

But fair to say all of Hellfire knows the rules and all of hellfire knows that no matter how well they try and how smooth they are (they really aren't ever smooth) Eddie will not blush or even consider they attempts as "good", the best they got was "tolerable" (Lucas got it and he's still very proud of it, as he deserves okay?), Eddie is impossible to fluster and so it's just is this fun thing they sometimes do when they feel particularly like little shits

And that's it about it

Until Vecna and all the upside down shit and the surprising friendship of Eddie and Steve happens

And suddenly Steve Harrington is not only sitting but playing D&D

Everything is going actually pretty good and Dustin practically vibrates out of his chair at how proud he is of Steve for how well he is doing so far and then

And then Steve tries to flirt with a pretty bard

Dustin deflates, he is ready for the absolute disaster that is going to fall upon Steve, he makes eye contact with Lucas - both of them ready with "it was actually a pretty good line tho!" at the tip of their tongues to defend Steve's decisions, he doesn't know Eddie's special rules after all and it would be funny to see Steve fail, sure, but it's Steve's first game and the kids wanted it to be good for Steve so convincing him to play again would be easier

But now Eddie is going to absolutely rip into him and Steve will never want to play again and-

"Roll with advantage" Dustin gasps, audibly, loudly, the room is silent, except for Steve who's very unaware of the chaos he just created and just rolls the dices, his usual confidence in place

And if someone looked closely - and all of the hellfire is fucking looking - Eddie Munson has indeed a light blush on his face

[spacebarbarianweird]

Astarion with Bard!Tav headcanons, pls?

I have a soft spot for Bards. Once, a gender fluid bard who plays the same campaign as I do, scared a creep away and we never saw him again.

Thanks @thedomesticanthropologist for the dialogue. With her permission, I copied it here since it fits the mood of these two gremlins .

Check out her blog, it's amazing!

Hope you will enjoy these headcanons!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Bard!Tav

Astarion is ready for everything when he meets you, but not for the fact you are the most unhinged person the Sword's Coast has seen.

The sworn enemy of many nobles whom you have offended in your songs.

Thrown up from numerous adventure parties for your horniness and a specific type of humor.

if you aren't beaten by someone's spouse for sleeping with a married person, you consider it a bad week.

All the Astarion's flattery? It falls flat!

There is nothing original in what he says. Nothing really interesting in his sweet words!

You could flirt better when you're five.

But you are curious.

Why is he using such cliche pick-up lines on you? Why is he so eager to do it? It's obvious he has no communication skills whatsoever! And hee sounds like a character from an erotic novel.

You are a professional, after all. If you wanted to seduce him, you would have sex the first two hours you two met.

So... you are waiting.

In the meantime, Astarion starts opening up. The real him is so much different from the 'seducer one". He sounds even innocent.

He finally invites you for a night of passion and, at this moment, you can't hold yourself anymore.

"I've been waiting… waiting since the moment we met…"

"So knives to the throat are flirting to you?"

"... I do recall saying it was a darling of a throat or some such, but- it's a line, it's not- you're not supposed to be really listening-"

"So I'm just supposed to be so distracted by your shirtlessness that you can say anything and I'll fall into your arms?"

"Listen, if I wanted to spend the night talking…"

"Couldn't you even bring a blanket? Give me the address of the person who taught you all this boring shit, and I will put my lute up to his arse! Gods!"

The date night is awkward.

You even don't have sex. You talk.

And you play your lute, singing some of the most offensive and inappropriate songs you know.

Astarion allows himself to relax.

He has never felt so safe with anyone. You can laugh all his fears away!

Vampire lords, tortures, violence. It all sounds … hilarious, not scary.

By the morning, you fall asleep. Astarion puts off his shirt to bathe in the sunlight.

When you wake up, you curse out loud.

"What is the fuck is this on your back??"

He explains and you take your lute to play one of the bard healing spells.

It wouldn't help of course, but you soothe his pain a bit.

You use the spells to cast away nightmares. And you also play music to help him meditate and avoid re-visiting bad memories.

Together, you form a murderous couple. There is nothing worse than a bard and rogue.

And you boost his self-esteem. He is afraid of Cazador, he is scared of him. But you -

You compose the most catchy and offensive songs about him.

They are pretty good, by the way, and some bards, including Volo, add them to their repertoires.

At first, it causes some anxiety to Astarion as if he can be punished for your actions.

But soon his fears start fading.

If it's funny, it's not scary.

Together, you defeat Cazador - and you've polished your vicious mockery!

When Astarion is finally okay with intimacy, you have a wild graveyard date which ends up with you two being arrested for disorderly conduct.

Post-game your destiny is decided. You are a traveling bard, after all.

You travel throughout Swords' Coast - singing songs and robbing your audience.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hiya, I love your yandere archons and a someone else request got an idea brewing in my head. You said the reader can’t be powerful or more because it would make them like the traveler… But what if the reader isn’t even a human? Like a primordial deity/being or something like lovecraft? An eldritch being? Basically a darling who can’t be physically chained or overpowered? How can they charm/persuade the darling? Like trying to seduce Azothoth!like darling, like those scheming yandere they are? Like you know those court drama where the consorts fight for the emperor? Ya know poison, blackmail, etc? That’s the archons for the darling. Is this too complicated? Anyway keep up the good work.

ah this was such an interesting ask! it definitely let me bring out some more obscure head canons of mine so thank you so much! :3c

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behavior, mentions of animal slaughter, uh not much this is actually a pretty tame post, archons are actually kinda nice for once, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Venti would hound you constantly, showing up wherever you seem to be staying to constantly chat you up. At first he starts just straight up begging but slowly it devolves into just chatting, slowly making you fall in love with him as he learns more about you and you him.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you saw the familiar green bard bounding over to you, a bottle of wine in his hands and a basket of some human food you had mentioned enjoying. He made sure to always bring something to share with you while you talked, just a little something to keep the conversation going for longer. The bottle of wine was usually for Venti but if you showed interest he wouldn’t mind sharing. Slowly, as he visits you day after day, you find yourself enjoying the presence of the boisterous male. He may have fallen first, but you fell harder.

Yandere!Zhongli would use his history of Liyue to woo you, thrilling I know. This somehow seems to work in his favor though as he can invite you on walks with him and then spend the whole time telling you about the history of the area and all the fun little details. It may seem boring, but somehow the century old dragon seems to make it fun, his passion for history rubbing off on you just a little bit.

You listened intently as Zhongli told you random, generally useless facts about the spot you currently stood at. While you will admit that he had bored you at first, you had come to love his strange little information tidbits. The passion he had for history was admirable and the joyful effect it seemed to have on him rubbed off on you the more he told you. It had started with a simple proposition: join him for a walk and if he told you something you didn’t know, that he could prove was true, then you’d join him for another. If you did know it already, then he would leave you alone. What he didn’t tell you though was that he had no plans of leaving you alone, setting up something that was entirely untrue just to win the little deal. It’s the only time he’s ever lied to you.

Yandere!Raiden would act similarly to male birds, where she flaunts what she’s capable of to entice you to choose her. Though she doesn’t do a silly dance with pretty feathers, instead she showcases her power. She flaunts her capabilities as a partner and uses that to entice you.

While your power as an eldritch being was scaled differently from Raiden, it didn’t mean she couldn’t still showcase her strength to you. Showing you the skeleton of the giant serpent she had slain was only so impressive so instead she challenges you. Bring her anything and she’ll kill it. From wild boar to giant whales, everything you had brought to Raiden she made quick work of. She even offered to dive into the waters and hunt down something herself but you insisted it wasn’t necessary. She had proven herself plenty, you were simply giving her a hard time to see how far she’d go. It almost made you feel bad, killing the insignificant wildlife simply for a bit of a show, but Raiden always made sure the animal went to good use. That was something you liked about her, even if she was busy showing off and flaunting to you, she still made sure that nothing was wasted. 

Yandere!Furina would have nothing to offer but herself. She isn’t incredibly funny, she’s not super strong, she can’t tell you cool facts about her nation or even spend all day talking to you. All she can give you is late nights under the stars, laying there as she points out all the constellations to you. In her early years as the Hydro Archon she would often spend her time stargazing, finding the action perfect to unwind when she was stressed.

Every night, after finishing up with court proceedings for the day, Furina would meet you at the same spot. She’d lay out a blanket, whether you lay on it with her or not, and stare up at the sky. Sometimes she’s silent, just enjoying your presence as a calming figure in her life, and sometimes she’ll point out the constellations to you. Furina thinks you’re absolutely darling but you’re way above her league and she doesn’t have anything that she can use to attract you to her. So she settles for these quiet nights with you, gazing at the stars as she used to in her youth. On nights where she does tell you about the constellations, she tells you how to find it, where the name comes from, and if it applies, the story behind each one. Her favorites are Cassiopeia and Cetus.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

18 + 79 for Astarion x Evie?

- @kittttycakes

Circus AU + Above the Influence

Send me 2 prompts + a pairing

Warning: Non-consensual consumption of an aphrodisiac

A/N: Keeping this in Faerun or otherwise partially magical universe for plot reasons. Not so heavy on the circus aspect, but big ideas for the "Above the Influence" part. Also shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble a bit to them about some of the stuff towards the end

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

Obvious start, put these two crazy kids in a circus

Evie has been performing with them for a while, not the center act by any means, but more the in between musician to hype up the crowd for the next act while also doing any other odd jobs that need doing

Astarion is a comparative new comer who is really just here because he needs to lay low for a while after escaping Cazador

Astarion is tricky because I cannot see him performing at all, he's terrible with guests and will not perform manual labor

However he is a good thief and very pretty, so in a less than reputable circus he could find a place pick pocketing from the crowd or seducing his way in with the ring master so he can have a place to sleep

The question of what does Astarion *do* pops up more than once, but whenever anybody needs something, they go to Astarion and somehow he seems to get it

Obviously the circus is small so Astarion and Evie do know each other, but it takes them a while to *know* each other

Evie thinks she has Astarion figured out; well off run away who is just a passing face, slumming it for a few months before going back to whatever manor he came from

Astarion meanwhile initially thinks of Evie as just some bard who is endlessly fun to tease

They don't have a lot of crossover in their jobs, but they've gotten into the habit of shooting comments and banter back and forth in an oddly comfortable rhythm

Astarion starts realizing he looks forward to those moments more and more because at the end of the day, Evie doesn't expect anything out of him

He's not waiting for the other shoe to drop, he can just...be; it's a sensation he's not familiar with

Evie meanwhile starts keeping an eye out for him, for all his flirtatious comments there doesn't seem to be any serious intent behind it, it's just fun, they're having fun and...it's nice

Of course it's all fun and games until somebody decides to escalate

Evie habit of dodging serious flirtation with joking brush offs has quickly labeled her a tease by just about everyone and so somebody decides to play what can only strenuously be called a prank

At the group dinner they slip some incubus spittle into her food; not a lot, but enough enough to stoke the fires

Evie does still have a libido, but it is lower than others and when she gets an urge it’s not out of specific desire for a person

So when this hot feeling starts to rise in her body, she honestly things she's getting sick and starts to make her excuses

But her tormentor basically all but forces her to stay put, with the heat rising in her body

Astarion starts to put two and two together and all but hauls her away as the rest of the group wolf whistles

Evie can hardly bring herself to react as the pain and the heat rise as her fear along with it; this is *not* like her.

Astarion then makes the mistake of touching her bare skin and it crumbles

She then looks up at him, glazed over as if possessed as she launches herself into a kiss

Astarion immediately stiffens; he's let the thought of kissing Evie pass through his mind more than once, of feeling her close, but not whatever this is

This is absolutely *not* his Evie

He pulls back, but her hands slip under his shirt, clawing at his skin as she apologizes again and again, she doesn’t know what’s happening

Astarion has been in enough whore houses to know the effects of incubus spit when he sees it. He then kisses her, hauling her into his arms and tells her it’s alright, he’s going to help her through this.

Evie feels a different kind of sickness in her stomach, she knows what the solution is

As he carries her she tells herself that it will be alright; she trusts Astarion, he knows what he's doing, it's the fastest way for it all to go away, better him than somebody else

But rather than lead her to a bed, he drops her in a wash basin and pours cold water over her, fully clothed before slipping in behind her

As much as the spit is messing with her head, a relief fills her. She doesn’t have to. He’s not going to force her in order to “fix” her. There are other ways and he’s willing to be there as they figure out what that is.

Astarion stays with her, the spit isn't as powerful as others so time really is the measure here soothed by what touches he can give her decidedly over the clothes.

Whatever is inside her in a parasite that needs to be sweated out.

Eventually the fever does break, and Evie is able to slowly catch her breath. Her body still sensitive, but not nearly as bad as before.

Once Astarion is sure her heart rate is bad to normal, he asks her if she wants him to go. He can easily understand not wanting to be touched or seen after going through something like that against your will.

Evie shakes her head, feeling everything that might have happened pour over her all at once and she just starts crying.

Astarion holds onto her, really the only action keeping his anger in check.

He can't just leave her like this

So once she can stand, he makes sure to change her into clean dry clothes and wrap her up in a cocoon of blankets and pillows staying as watch dog until she’s asleep. It’s only then does he leave her.

Somebody apparently thought it would be a funny ,to drug his Evie. He’s going to find out exactly who it was and shake hands with their intestines.

[dragonrasberry]

Ok so, there’s no more electricity at my house, (because of the storm) and I have pretty much nothing to do, because it’s 1am and my sister is sleeping. So, I go in the shower ( yes I know I do it in the dark, for some of you it may be strange but it’s not. I have superpowers to see in the dark, called: it’s been dark for like 4. Hours and my eyes are now adapted)

So like a normal person the shower is where I think.

And like why people have sex in the dark? Do it make you feel more sensation? I know it’s a kink for people to get blindfolded, but like when you have nothing to cover your pretty eyes you can still see some sort of shadow, so like..?

Anyway that was not the goal of that post, I had some Merthur ideas of fics, and like I will probably write them, but like always never going to publish them so as well partage them with some of you. Just like use the hashtag merthur and I will find them.

So like I had this idea of Merlin, Percival, Arthur, Morgana, Leon, Gwaine and Elyan, Lancelot starting a parties of dnd, Mordred being the Dm. Gwen is there sometime to bring snacks and talking so like Mordred use that opportunity to make her play some npc. The party is just very chaotic, Percival being an awful good, but like forgetting sometimes and follow the teams without thinking. Lancelot not being able to stay in roll when Gwen is there. Arthur and Merlin not quitting arguing even in critical moment. Morgana being always like, so? I take her sword, she can’t hit me. Leon alway hitting critical 20 Gwaine, playing a bard and want to seduce everyone/ everything. Elyan being a Druid and is supposed to bring balance in the group is a goblin Druid so is not taken seriously most of the time with the voice he take. Mordred being exasperated most of the time. ( perwaine, merthur, gwen x Lancelot…)

my second idea:

But not that original, Merlin having a crush on Gwaine, and Arthur is neighbors who is a big charo. Arthur bring a lot of girl in is house, so he end up asking him some cues… and they fall in love at the end. Morgana being friend with Merlin and Morgana being Arthur sister, and Gwaine being the best friend of Arthur. A party take place at Arthur’s place, Merlin and Arthur argue about real love, and like Arthur say talk when you find the one you discribe as perfect. And that’s later at the party Merlin meet Gwaine,or Lancelot, come to think of it it work too. And like he have a big crush on one of them. Ask some advice to Arthur, and it’s working at first but like more time past and more he create a relationship with Arthur and more he find that he have nothing in common with, Lancelot/ Gwaine. And find out why Arthur think that about love, and have so many one night stand. his heart was broken by Gwen. ( merthur, Arthur x Gwen, merwaine, merlance)

And a third one because the lasts ones have been AU:

Merlin is under an enchantement, a love spell , with some new knight, and like some times he have those moments where he stay normal but that’s only when he is with Arthur that is. And he is alway with Arthur, so like the knight don’t understand, he promised to Morgana that is plan would work, that if Merlin was distracted, being in love, he would not stay by Arthur. It’s really confusing because it’s like if he was in love with the knight, but when Arthur get jealous and step in the conversation and adress Merlin, he becomes himself again. And all the knights find that very strange that when Arthur is not there the Newbie and Merlin flirt, and when Lancelot asked Merlin if he was in love in front of Arthur he responded no, but when Elyan asked him when the prince was not directly with them Merlin said yes. What is strange in that is that Merlin would never have a reasons to lie in front of Arthur. So they say it’s suspicious to the princess, and they investigate, they find some flasks of potions in Merlin’s chambers that are empty and they ask Gaius and he tell them that the young boy doesn’t have any affliction that he know of. ( merthur and jealous Arthur)

Fourth one:

Uther swap body with a servant. And he start to be friends with Merlin. And one night Merlin ask him to go tend to the prince for him, because he need to do something for Gauis and Uther see how much Arthur is a spoiled prat without the servant tending to him being that boy called Merlin. So when he ask Merlin about it Merlin rolls his eyes and say many things that should be putting him in the dungeons but Uther doesn’t have that power being Morris for now. But Merlin just smile and say at the end, but if it doesn’t bother you I will retake my duties with my favorite clotpople if you excuse me. And the day after that there’s an hunting trip organized and and Uther being Morris need to go in the place of a servant so being there with the Knights and Merlin he take the time to observe his son and the servant and is not so oblivious. When the next day he is again in his body. He decide to have a discussion about THINGS with his son.( merthur and like mentioned morgwen)

Now if you have questions don’t be shy, I know I’m not the most clear person in my ramblings.

[strayheartless]

DnD AGSZC. You know you have HCs. Sharing is caring.

oh well, twist my arm why don'tcha!

So to start, Sephiroth is one of THOSE players. You know the ones: makes broken characters that seemingly can do anything by level five; consistently has a rather depressing backstory that drives their character to be a dick to everyone for the sake of "roleplay". one of THOSE PLAYERS (see also: the Chocobro... or as Salty has pointed out to me, the Genebro.)

Likes to dable with his Characters. Though his favorite remains his Dragonborn Oathbraker Paladin, named Azriel who turned on the party in one paticular campaign to join forces with a powerful female Dragonborn Litch... I don't thing I really need to tell you why.

Angeals a pain because he wants to play "correctly". he's not competative but heis a rulebook warrior. Cloud has banned the Player's handbook from the table for this very reason. Angeal complains about "house rules" and the "rule of fun" all the time, even while activly enjoing the game. He's a pain.

He usually plays a Paladine and his drive for adventure is always "to avenge/ make his father proud. he once pushed the boat out at Clouds behest and broke his oath, and it didn't go... Well. to put it lightly everyone at the table cried (esspecially Zack) and Angeal had to make a new character.

Genesis is predictable to the point of hilarity. always a Bard or a Warlock. Always a Tiefling. Always gender ambiguous. if the games not starting withthe party finding Gen drunk and bemoning exsistence in a tavern then are they really playing DnD? He will always be playing a College of Tragedy bard (Thank you Matthew Mercer.) He's never pushed the boat out once in all the time they've played and if he can squeeze a loveless Quote in where he can he's gunna do it.

Genesis is however the table flirt and the Horny player. he's rolling to seduce the dragon. Cloud has Vowed never to let them play Curse of Strahd... EVER.

Zack is never predictable in his Character build. In the beginning he went similar to Angeal except a human young fighter with dreams of being a hero, But now he likes to dabble with his classes sometimes and mess around in terms of race. Cloud likes Zacks approach to DnD cause it keeps him on his toes.

His Favorite build thus far is his Halfling Rough/Monk multiclass he based off of a little girl he met in Wutai (you know who.).

When Kunsels Available to play he plays as a College of Lore Bard. He knows everything and Cloud is pretty sure He's been spying on his notes between games.

They are all suprisingly big on Roleplay which is fine by cloud cause it makes his job more fun. He's made them cry multiple times with his storylines, and His NPC voices are unparalelled. concidering he's not expressive in his day to day, he comes alive as DM.

There has been some massive in jokes that make other people question if they are sane or not. things like all the boys mimicing Clouds voice yelling "DON'T FUCK THE DRAGON!" everytime they gointo monster dens. Or looking Angeal up and Down and saying "I don't have the hit points to clinb you like a tree," .

Genesis begs Cloud to make a LOVELESS based Campaign... Cloud doesn't want to admit he already has one, hes just afraid Gen will pick holes in it.

Zack is a bastard for casting Fireball when he doesn't have the hit points to survive his own spell. the one time he played a wizard he cast it, did 39 points of damage and only JUST survived by one singular hit point.

Kunsel has the magic touch where dice are concerned. He constantly rolls consistently high rolls.

Cloud is absoloutly sure Sephiroth uses loaded dice. but he can't prove it.

Angeal always seems to end up getting attacked by mimics. doesn'tmatter how many times it happens, he always has too much trust in everyday objects.

[shadowmonkstone]

Camping is supposed to be restful, right? Well it’s bloody well not.

Lae’zel has built herself a Mind Flayer dummy to train on, presumably for when we all start transforming so she can lop our heads off easier. Cheeky bitch.

Obviously I haven’t said that to her face because I still quite like having my head attached to my shoulders.

Astarion thought it was hilarious that Wyll doing what was right got him transformed into a devil. I think he’s going to try and seduce him tonight from the way he was talking. A vampire humping a warlock, or the other way round. It’s the sort of tale the bards weave on ghost night in the pub. I can’t wait to tell Prim about it, three gold says she’ll blush, look down at the floor and punch my arm. Unless she’s drunk, then the naughty minx will want details.

Still, to be fair, vampire-warlock shagging is about the most normal thing that’s happened these last few days. I’ll just leave them to it while I work my magic on Karlach.

Honestly mate, the way she smiles. Blimey.

Oh! That reminds me. Kay said that this bastard in Baldur’s Gate called Gortash palmed her off to Zariel and that’s how this whole infernal engine bollocks started. You could see the anger and sadness in her eyes when she spoke. I would have offered her a hug if wouldn’t have singed my fucking skin off.

Pretty sure Gortash was the name of the bloke who was hosting the wizards’ gala bullshit you sent me over to work, wasn’t it? Now I dislike the wanker on two levels.

Anyway, finally tried to get some sleep and I won’t lie, I made sure my bedroll was just a little bit closer to Kay’s than anyone else’s. She didn’t seem to mind. In fact, I’m pretty sure hers has inched a little closer to mine.

Then Gale woke me up with another of his ‘oh, I wasn’t expecting you to notice my personal moment of self-reflection on the state of the Weave bullshit blah blah blah here’s ten words when one will do’ fake surprise moments.

Mate, you’re being loud as shit talking to yourself right by my bloody earhole with a glowing magic picture of a woman I’ve never heard of hovering above your palm. Of course I’m going to wake up.

So he offers to show me magic, I tell him to shove it up his arse because all I want to do is get some fucking sleep, and then he has the bloody nerve to get all uppity with me.

Gale, you’re a good lad and your heart’s in the right place but fuck me, know your audience yeah?

[sadinasaphrite]

Oh no here's more fic. I like to think Tav talking Yurgir to death made Astarion a little weak in the knees, so here's a 1500 words of Astarion realizing he's catching actual feelings.

Read on AO3!

* * * * *

After all these years, Astarion could hardly believe he was so close. Just one murder, and he’d have his answers. Raphael would tell him the secrets engraved upon his back, secrets kept from him ever since that wretched night Cazador held him down and carved runes into his flesh. He was so close, he could taste it. The devil they were to kill stood before them, giving a fucking monologue of all things, and Astarion burned with the desire, the need to sink his blades into the devil’s heart. Nothing would stand in his way.

And yet, Astarion couldn’t help but feel Tav did not appreciate the urgency of the situation.

The bard was just… just standing there, chit-chatting about what Raphael smelled like or something, when they should be gutting this bastard!

“What are you doing?” Astarion interrupted with a hiss. “The devil told us to kill this thing, so let’s stop chatting and kill it!”

Astarion reached for his blades and Tav subtly waved a hand. Nothing more than a flick of two fingers, but enough to signal Astarion to hold. Astarion stopped.

Dammit. Dammit! If Astarion had any sense, he’d ignore Tav, or use the conversation as an opportunity for a distraction. If he could slip into the shadows and climb up to where Yurgir stood, lording over them and prattling on about his contract or some nonsense… but no. The devil and his followers had already spotted them, and only a supreme distraction would allow Astarion to slip out of sight.

What in the nine hells, now the bastard was singing.

“Spill all the blood sworn to the night,” the devil sang in a gravelly voice, “Silence all prayers; smother each rite. Wander Shar’s Halls hungry to slay, leave no Justiciar alive to obey…”

What was Tav playing at? Tav knew how important this was to him! Why was this conversation even happening? Once they’d confirmed the devil was the target, their merry little band should have started right on the murder, not… not whatever the hells was happening now!

Astarion should act. While Yurgir was distracted by a fucking song, he should raise his crossbow, fire a bolt right through his eye… but he didn’t. Astarion didn’t reach for his weapons.

All because Tav signaled for him to wait.

Dammit.

He shouldn’t give a shit about Tav. Tav meant nothing to him, Astarion firmly told himself. The bard was just a means to an end, a fool to be seduced and tricked into protecting Astarion until he had no further need of protection. He didn’t care about Tav. He didn’t care about anyone. And he certainly wasn’t influenced by those late night talks, gentle words of compassion and understanding, a reassuring hand on his shoulder, a playful, teasing smile thrown his way, or the idiotic, blind trust to submit to his fangs…

Astarion held, awaiting Tav’s signal.

“Leave none to hear it, then be set free. This song is your oath, swear, swear it to me.”

The fucking devil was still singing.

“So he’s the one who slaughtered the Justiciars,” Astarion snapped when the wretched song ended at last. “Can we kill him now? Because if he doesn’t die, then Raphael won’t tell me a damn thing about my scars.”

Tav didn’t respond, didn’t even look his way, but instead focused on Yurgir with a sharp, piercing look. Astarion froze. Something had shifted in Tav’s gaze during the last line of the song. He’d never seen Tav’s eyes like that. This wasn’t a warrior gauging their odds, or a tactician analyzing a battlefield. Tav looked At Yurgir like a predator ready to strike, a wolf waiting for the perfect opportunity to rip the throat out of a hare.

“Quite bloodthirsty, as lyrics go,” Tav said, a little too casually. “Have you considered some instrumental accompaniment?”

“I don’t want to make it pretty, I want to silence it!” Yurgir roared. The stench of sulfur flared through the room, and the small infernal army shifted eagerly in response. Battle was upon them. “Enough prattle. The lyrics are clear. All who hear the song must die. Time to die.”

Yurgir aimed his crossbow right at Tav’s heart. Something twisted uncomfortably in Astarion’s gut and his fingers twitched toward his blades.

Tav didn’t even blink.

“Raphael’s a sly lyricist. He tricked you. Your followers heard your song and still live.”

Astarion froze. He hadn’t been paying much attention to the song, focusing on how to end Yurgir as quickly as possible, but…

Yurgir looked as taken aback as Astarion felt.

“The merregons?” He asked. “They barely have a thought to share among themselves… but they do have ears.”

Hellfire flared behind the devil’s eyes, and he turned to the hellish soldiers around them.

“Kill yourselves. Back to the hells with you!” he roared. Without hesitation, the merregons all around them obeyed, axes swinging all around them with the wet sound of blades into flesh. The army all around them shrank from a dozen devils, to just one devil and his pet.

The barest hint of a smirk pulled at Tav’s lips.

Astarion’s heart hadn’t beat in two centuries, but something in his chest fluttered.

“I still hear it!” Yurgir seized his head with one hand and shook violently. “Seems your theory is wrong!”

“You’re not finished yet,” Tav said, eyes never leaving Yurgir. “The displacer can hear you, can’t she?”

The bard was doing well to hide the smirk threatening to come out, but there was something else in Tav’s eyes. Confidence. Hunger. Even with the devil looming over them, Astarion couldn’t tear his eyes away from Tav.

“Kill her.”

Astarion’s breath caught in his chest.

“Kill Nessa?” Yurgir hesitated, uncertain. The devil locked eyes with the bard. Tav’s gaze never wavered.

Slowly, Yurgir raised his crossbow, pointing it to the displacer beast lounging under the torchlight. “Stay very still, my beauty.”

The crossbow bolt pierced the beast’s heart and she collapsed, dead before she hit the floor. Tav’s eyes gleamed in victory, and Astarion had the wild, intrusive thought that he wanted to see that hungry, vicious gleam in Tav’s eyes a thousand times over. Standing side by side, interrogating information out of someone previously a threat, but now cowered under their combined might. He and Tav, working together, making sure no one would ever pose a danger to either of them ever again.

“I still hear it!” The devil roared.

“My dear hunter, isn’t it obvious?” Tav’s voice was sickly sweet, dripping from the bard’s lips like poisoned honey. The sound rolled down Astarion’s spine with a shiver. “You must kill yourself. Then you’ll be free.”

No. Surely not. There wasn’t a chance in the nine hells this would work. Astarion looked back at Yurgir, and was shocked to find the devil in a look of deep contemplation. Yurgir drew a sword from the scabbard on his back.

“If you’re wrong about this, I’ll claw my way out of Avernus and eat you alive, contract be damned!” Yurgir snarled. He placed the tip of the sword against his chest.

Tav smirked.

Astarion’s knees went weak.

“Nicely played, Raphael. Bastard.” Yurgir plunged the blade into his own heart, vanishing in an explosion of hellfire.

The room around them fell silent, filled only with the crackle of fire from the braziers.

Beside him, the other companions let out a sigh of relief, along with some laughter as the tension vanished from the air. Tav shot Astarion a smile and clapped him on the shoulder. This smile was closer to what Astarion was used to seeing, wide and open and honest, but there was still something in Tav’s eyes, a gleam of a successful hunt, the adrenaline still pumping through the bard’s veins.

“There you go. One devil, killed. Raphael should be happy.”

For the first time in a very long time, Astarion was speechless.

This was a side of Tav he never knew existed. Cunning. Manipulative. Even a touch sadistic and cruel. And Tav did all of it for him. All to help give Astarion what he wanted, to help him with Raphael’s deal.

As Astarion watched Tav leave the chamber, laughing with the others, he felt something akin to heat flush his cold body. Not desire. Certainly not lust. But… something. Something something more. Something dangerous. A hunger for Tav that had nothing to do with his vampiric thirst.

Astarion knew something within him had changed. He could no longer fool himself into thinking Tav was just another pawn or victim. Which only meant Tav was something else.

He let out a cold breath and ran a hand through his curls, then hurried to follow the others.

Shit.

[avionvadion]

Screenshots and silliness from my Durge playthrough so far. Because I have no self restraint and I needed to keep myself awake a few more hours.

SHADOWHEART, GALE, AND DARK URGE SPOILERS BELOW

She's doing her best!!!

Astra can sing. Kai'mana, on the other hand... can not. Oof. Anyways, I have been talking to so many animals. It's delightful. Although Kai'mana did unintentionally kill a squirrel, which is what led to me reloading and constantly using Speak to Animals because it helped avoid the... Urge just immediately offing the poor thing. But now I'm paranoid, lol.

Kai'mana: What's he talking about???

He was still in neutral by this point. T_T I don't know how, but I'm having a harder time raising his favorability as a good Dark Urge than when I was playing Astra- a good Tav.

OHHHHHHHH, ASTRA DIDN'T GET THIS ONE.

Anyways. I had Kai'mana say they should get to know each other better, then say she was joking- because she could tell he wasn't being serious, and it left him so flustered, alskjfldkjflkdj. It was adorable.

Astarion can not get a good read on this Dragonborn gal.

Gale, sweetie, this scene is super cute... but not what I intended. T_T

I'm obsessed with how pretty Kai'mana looks.

Oh no... here it is... I've heard about this...

I'M SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Gods, the Guardian is so pretty.

BASSY!??? SEBAS-CHAN!??? *Is immediately sent plummeting back into my middleschool years* WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' HERE!??? GO BACK TO CIEL!

Astarion is so short next to Kai... askjjflkdjljfdl. I love it. Also, fun fact: I did not kill the Gur this time around! I did with Astra, but not with Kai. I'm curious how his survival will affect Act Three.

*crying at how pretty she is*

Wyll: "Is no one else seeing this? No? Just me? Sigh... just another day in camp."

*Downs his wine*

Aw, shucks! That's cute. They're eyeball buddies! I'm surprised her fake eye is still pink though. It's a lot more muted than the other, but I was expecting it to be silver. I guess it's different for Dragonborns. Neat.

I've... been putting her through several different outfits, trying to find a good one, and a good dye, that'll fit. I currently (where I'm at in the game, not in the screenshot) have settled on her wearing Minthara's camp clothes. Which look REALLY good on her with her scales.

...Astarion has the armor, though, lol.

Kai'mana just... has the charm I guess. First Gale's magic lesson, then Lae'zael trying to seduce her, and now Shadowheart. Okay. Maybe this'll be like with Astra and Lae'zael. A thing at the beginning, before eventually breaking off. I do think Shadowheart and Kai'mana just talking together was a super cute scene. Maybe that's the ace in me speaking. I dunno. But I liked it.

Kai'mana: "You're beautiful."

Shadowheart: "I know. But you're sweet for noticing."

LIKE THAT WAS SO CUTE YA'LL I CAN'T.

Kai'mana: "I unintentionally murdered the bard bestie in my sleep..."

Shadowheart: "And I almost intentionally murdered Lae'zael in her sleep. It's fine."

Kai'mana: "...Fair enough."

I think it'll be a thing where they're not used to the company/trust of others, both of them being amnesiac and harboring "darkness" inside of them, and they lead themselves on to believe it's a romantic attraction to one another, but then realize they're just meant to be besties. They click, but not necessarily in the way they think. It's a pleasant/fond experience for them, though.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Until Dawn Character’s D&D game headcanons:

I saw some fanart a while back about how Chris got the group together to learn D&D to cope, after the events of the night. And it amused me because I believe Chris canonically plays/knows about D&D. He references it when calling himself “Spirit Master” during the seance. And the idea of this group playing Dungeons and Dragons amused me. I wrote this up a long time ago.

Chris/ DM, and he works hard to be an enjoyable one and to create a compelling experience; his overall story is pretty good. He does do that thing where he creates a villain or monster and it takes the players a while to realize it’s basically some stupid pop culture character built of D&D terms. Or the group will realize that an entire side quest amounted to a stupid pun.

Sam/ Chose to be a wood elf druid. She was stoked when Chris mentioned animal companions. She has a black bear, and she wrote more lore for her bear than her own character. She brings healthy snacks to the sessions. She is usually the one to call the session in favor of sleep and tries to deescalate fights when she can.

Josh/ Chose to be a half-orc bard because it amused him (he’s an artificer the next time he builds a character, though). He wrote a very detailed, violent, tragic backstory that made the rest of the group a bit worried. Frequently, he goes “Okay but can I—”then proceeds to give a completely outside-the-box and wacky plan to Chris, and Chris has to scramble to figure out how to react to that. Josh ended up getting the group to move from Chris’s house to his house, and then he created a super awesome setup for them with a screen built into the table and a cool sound system and everything. He will often ask to seduce monsters.

Emily/ Picked a human rogue. She acts like the whole thing annoys her, but has picked up the game really quickly and is very adamant about her opinions while playing. Several times every sessions, she goes: “DO A PERCEPTION CHECK!!” She wants to be the one to divide loot because she feels like she knows who it should go to best.

Mike/ Chose to be a dragonborn paladin and was super enthused about how cool it sounded. He rushes into things and, typically, it actually works. But once, he initiated with an enemy way above their levels because “Come on guys, we can do it,” and Emily died. She was so mad that she wouldn’t play for a month. Mike tries to seduce female enemies and random NPCs all the time. He probably has a wolf companion.

Ashley/ Chose to be a changeling bard. This caused a fight between her and Josh. They kept arguing about who could be the bard until Chris assured them that they could both be bards. She wrote the most well-conceived backstory for her character. Chris subtly flirts with her through the NPCs.

Matt/ A human fighter. He’s not so sure what’s going on a lot of the time, but is happy to be there and very pleasant to the NPCs. He spams the same bludgeoning attack each round. He chooses to be a human fighter each time he has to make a new character. Note: Emily chose to be human because she liked the versatility of the race. Matt chose human because he’s a human in real life.

Jess/ She’s a fairy cleric. She completely picks favorites and heals Mike at a disproportionate rate to the others (if this happens while Emily is still dating Mike, then she’d be saving Emily a lot. Because Em is her girl). She frequently likes to describe how hot her character is.

[abyss-of-mine]

Twisted Wonderland- Courting The Dragon

Inspired by this fanfic

Warning: Handjob, fingering, unprotected soft sex, biting

"What it means for dragons to court each other-"

Alice sat on the lap of a dragon who was in the form of a naked human. They met him outside their village, just wanting to go explore for anything interesting in the woods when they crossed paths. Never they imagined they would meet a dragon, let alone being courted by one.

"Sharing their food with their mate, protecting them from any possible danger, offering their most cherished treasure to them." He paused with a smirk, reaching up to their neck. "Biting each other. Most common to bite here-" his finger traced the side of their neck and dragged down to where their heart is- "or here."

They bit their lip from nervousness and a bit of fear. "Why do that? Isn't that dangerous considering you're biting sensitive areas?"

He chuckled, purposely fanning their neck with his breath. "It's a sign of trust, respect to be allowed to harm your mate. It's also a promise to protect them for dragons can bite hard enough to leave the scales unable to heal."

They felt his fangs faintly on their skin, growing more worried for what he plans to do to them. "It's quite romantic and poetic, don't you think?"

"It's interesting," they found their voice to answer.

He pouted and gripped their chin, forcing them to look to him. "Then what do you find romantic, my dear?"

His eyes stared into them, sharp and intimidating. They answered, saying spending time together, laughing together, sharing interests, etc. He called it boring and said they do that every day and not once it felt romantic to him.

They frowned, slapping his hand away and facing forward with arms cross like a pouting wife. He chuckled and leaned them against him, arms wrapping around their waist and his head resting on their shoulder again.

"... I would love to mark you as mine." Their heart sank at those words as his finger moved along their neck. "Maybe... Right here. It would be the perfect spot for everyone to see and know you're mine. Though, my fangs pretty sharp, you may not feel it."

He turned his head to their ear, grinning as he whispered, "but I want you to feel it."

"Then what's stopping you? I'll in the right position for you bite me."

He nuzzled his face against their neck, happy with the response. "Biting is done during a... intimate moment between mates."

"Is that why you're naked? Are you tempting me?"

He darkly chuckled, sliding his hand down between their thighs. "Maybe it's just because it's more comfortable this way. I don't normally wear clothes, being all neutral is more relaxing."

How did they end up here again? And why did they accept being his partner? Yes, he is good looking and makes their heart race and sends butterflies to fight in their stomach. But this is dangerous for their physical and mental health. Ugh, what do they do?

It's clear he wants to "mate," but can they do that? They're just a seamstress, aren't bards suppose to be seducing dragons and maybe laying them? Ace and Deuce telling them to sing at the theater doesn't count.

Why must they be sitting on the lap of temptation?

His other hand moved between their chest and hook a finger with their collar as his lips brushed against their neck. "What will it be, love? May I partake in a more intimate moment with you and maybe mark you as my mate?"

"Get fucked and find out." Ace's voice cut through their mind, remembering him jokingly saying that to a villager he was friends with. Oh, how those words come in at the right worst time.

His hand slid under their skirt and felt up their legs. Ugh, why did the ginger's words popped in their mind? Fuck it, I guess.

They turned around to take his face in their hands and kiss him, quickly twisting their body to properly straddle him. His body fell backwards onto his blanket nest and gently rested his hands on their back.

Their hands travelled along his body, feeling the softness of his skin, the tone muscles and the warmth his body radiates. They moved their lips to his neck and kneaded the skin between their mouth. Their hand touched his hip bone and followed the outline to a more sensitive area.

They blushed from nervousness and embarrassment as they sat up to look down at him, down at his naked body. They always looked away or snapped their neck from not wanting to see his family's gems, but today they're daring themself to look.

He smirked mischievously and slid a hand down his form. "Heh. Like what you see, love? Do you find my body attractive?"

"You already know the answer." They dared to touch it and heard him gasp in surprise.

They smirked to themself as their fingers danced on his member, hearing him groan and growl everytime their fingers moved along the base. It was slow and gentle, looking at him grow restless from their teasing.

"Do you know how distracting it is to see you walking around with this-" they quickly stroked them and received a surprised reaction- "on full display. Shameful if you ask me."

He growled and flipped them on top of the pile of blankets, surprising them and causing them to freeze up as he hovered over them. "Shameful? No, you misunderstood. I gladly walk around like this, I gladly have you partake in intimate activities with me."

He grinned and leaned down to "kiss" their neck, it more like bitting, while their fingers got entwine in his hair. Their other hand carefully moved down his hip and wrapped around his member. Breathy moans escaped his throat as their hand sped up, making him grip the blankets and focus on panting in their ear.

His hips bucked in their hand, feeling the aches coming from him. He bit their jaw a little harder as his breathing got heavy and whispered their name so tempting. His hand slid under their dress and rubbed against their underwear before ripping it off. They gasped in surprise as he tossed the useless fabric away.

His fingers rubbed in between their folds, feeling how wet they were getting. He wetted his fingers and shoved them in, hearing them yelp before silencing them with his lips. His member throbbed in their hand, wanting to reach its high. They tried to readjust their hand around him to stroke him faster.

He moaned against their lips, sticking his fingers in more roughly and faster. They gripped his hair, digging their nails into their palm as he finally hit his end. Their dress was strained when he pulled away to look at the mess.

He smiled smugly, his fingers still pumping into them. They quietly panted, feeling embarrassed from the sounds coming from their throat. He took his fingers out and placed his hand on the blankets under them, seeing them silently complaining.

"I'll return the pleasure soon, but I must ask how do you want to be pleasured? I can continue using my fingers, or-" he held up two fingers symbolizing a V and stuck out his tongue between them.

Maybe on a later date. Their face got red at the gesture and averted their eyes somewhere else.

"Of course there's always me ripping off your dress and making love to you until you're moaning my name. Your choose."

"Umm." Why did he make that gesture?!?! Their mind is gone and empty after seeing that.

His hand traced their waist, slow and gentle. Hm, feeling him against them and being gentle to them sounds pretty good. His hand slid under their bra and massaged their breast, rubbing the nipple as his other hand stroke their hip.

They pressed their lips together, knowing how dangerous this could get. "Make love to me."

He grinned evilly as their dress was pulled over their head and tossed without a care, then had his lips on theirs and their thighs in his hands. They grabbed his head, feeling his member carefully pushing inside them. Their nails dug into his scalp as he continued to push.

They hissed under their breath and had their thighs against their chest, feeling him take their hands to place them on the back of their thighs. He sat up and slid his arms under their legs to grab their hips and start moving. He stared where his member was, watching it disappear and reappear effortlessly from them, enjoying the sight.

They tilted their head back, clearly flustered from what's going on. He noticed and teased them, saying how well they take him. Their lips pressed tightly together, their face burning as a moan snuck out from their throat. He smirked at hearing it, ripping their bra off, and leaned down to kiss their body.

His lips kneaded and caressed their toned muscles, being soft and careful with his fangs. His tongue moved across their nipple, then sucked on the breast. His hips rocked slightly faster, listening to more noticeable moans escape them.

He took their hands off of their thighs and let them on his hips, then slipped his arms under their back as their arms wrapped around his neck. His lips reached their neck and nibbled and massaged the skin, whispering sweet nothingness to them.

He thrusted faster, receiving more pleased moans, attacking their jaw with small bites. Their hand ran through his hair and called out his name. Every fiber of his being he used to not go out of control after hearing it.

"Careful, love. Don't play with fire," he panted out the warning.

They cupped his face and looked at him. "Malleus~" then kissed him.

He kissed them back, his hips moving more needy that they had to hold on. He pulled out an arm and squeezed their breast in his palm, feeling their nails digging and scratching his back. He grabbed the back of their thigh in his other hand, hitting a right spot and hearing them break away to moan loudly.

He bit their jaw and moved down to their neck while they shouted and clung onto him. He panted out their name, hitting another sweet spot and moaning along with them. They reached their limit, crawling at his back and panting out heavily.

He finally bit down, marking them as his. They bit down on his shoulder as hard as they could to make it even between them. He thrusted in and sent them both into sweet ecstasy, then let go of their neck and licked up the blood. He leaned up, dropping their leg, and stared down at them as they collected themself.

He smirked and kissed their chest to the other side of their neck. "I appreciate you trying to mark me, though you need sharper teeth to break my skin." He sat up and touched the bruise on his shoulder, a wholeheartedly smile on his face.

He moved back down to kiss them more lovingly. He took them into his arms and rolled over with them on top.

"This was quite romantic." He pressed his lips on the front of their neck. "Satisfying each other, marking each other, what could more romantic than that?"

His face was in front of theirs and took the opportunity to kiss him. "Trusting the person with your heart, your soul, your everything and having them accept you."

His hand traced their body, humming in thought. "You're right, that is very romantic."

Another sweet kiss before they ask. "... Could we go again? Maybe try the position we're already in."

He chuckled, sitting up and grabbing their hips. "Anything you want, love."

He slipped them slowly on his member, hearing them gasp as his length disappeared within them. They gripped his shoulders and carefully lifted themself up and slowly back down.

"That's it, nice and steady." He watched their body rose and fall on him, pushing his hips suddenly up to hear them yelp. "Heh. Sorry, love, had to take the opportunity."

He wrapped his arms around their body and kissed them tenderly as they continued their movements, not taking long to hear him moan their name.

[baldurs-kinfessions]

I am someone who chronically kins multiple timelines of the same source and even worse of the same character. It makes me very self-conscious, honestly. Especially hearing from people with only one kin or only one timeline per kin. This isn't to say that they're wrong, of course not, but I feel like I'm somehow…doing it wrong?

I want to focus on one thing, to remember it all back to front, but sometimes I am jerked back and forth between the timeline where I ascended and the one where I lived out my days the happy husband of Wyll Ravengard. I remember them both, I remember so many details from both, and they both are still with me.

When I ascended. I remembered her so early on. Tahir. The love of my life. She stood by me even when I slaughtered thousands in the name of safety. I gained the strength to help her cast aside her past. She let me turn her, and she was mine forever. She wanted it. She says so herself, even now, and it's hard for me to believe it.

She wanted our children — even the one with Wyll, when I forced him to stay with us forever — and let me raise them properly. Give them the life and the opportunity I never had. I wasn't necessarily a good husband or father, I don't think I could be in that position, but I loved them all so fiercely it still hurts my heart now.

Mahavira. Hyacinth. Aurelia. Laelia. Ren. Addy. The child whose name I have not yet remembered. I love you all. You were my children, even if I was not always a father to you.

(And to Mahavira especially, I am sorry for the pressure I put you under. I am sorry for the way you were expected to be the better version of me. I should never have made you suffer for simply being the eldest daughter. You never should have suffered from me. I love you.)

When I didn't. I lived a better life, in terms of the karmic scale. I had Wyll always by my side. He even helped convince me that having our daughter was a good idea, and I will never be able to stop thanking him for that. Lily Aurora Ravengard. Light of my life. The bard with the sweetest voice in any plane.

You know, when she was little, she wouldn't go to bed without a story? And she wouldn't stand for any of this "book" nonsense, no, she needed a real story. If I didn't have a vampire's healing I would have run my throat ragged telling her the story of how the Blade of Frontiers met an ungrateful little vampire spawn and nearly let himself be seduced by the nasty vampire's charms. And then how they won each other over, stood by each others' sides, how they found a life that was all theirs and not determined by disappointed fathers or cruel masters. Of course, this was all censored for appropriate child-friendliness, nothing untoward and extra graphic violence, but she loved the story. The little shit actually laughed at how rude I was!

The first memory I ever had of her was her perfect smile. My exact words, as I wrote them in my notes, were: "White hair. Reddish eyes. A perfect smile. Didn't deserve her." And you know what? I didn't, but I still raised a pretty damn good kid.

Unsurprisingly, this musing turned into me reflecting on my family. I miss my families. All these timelines are messy, and I'll likely talk about them more. I get frustrated when I can't say things nearly as concretely as others. I get frustrated when I can't tell what comes from where. But at least there is one good thing about them: I'll always get to remember the children of mine that I loved. That I still love.

—Astarion

#🩸🌑🌿

🐙

[bambirex]

Could I request Yennefer having a "Oh no, he's hot!" moment about Jaskier? 👀

Ask, and you shall receive 😁

Warnings for: slightly sexual thoughts, sexual tension

*

He was wearing fucking eyeliner, Yennefer noticed. The black kohl around his eyes made the already mesmerizing blues pop even more - it felt like he was staring straight into Yennefer's soul when he stole a glance towards her, and then he made it even worse by winking at her cheekily.

Not that it awakened anything inside Yennefer, of course.

Gods, who was she kidding? The way her heart sped up inside her chest when Jaskier fluttered his unfairly long lashes at her was not easy to ignore.

The thing was, Jaskier was attractive, no matter how she used to try and deny it. There was a reason half the Continent wanted to fuck him, and the other probably already had. He was very good-looking with his soft brown hair and almost boyishly pretty face, his plump pink lips and beautiful posture. He seemed delicate at first glance, but his body was strong and broad. Although Yennefer thought his new haircut was a little questionable at first, now she had to admit it did suit him. So did that light stubble that gave his face a more masculine edge.

Jaskier was absolutely in his element as he flitted across the tavern, his long red leather coat swishing after him, like the wings of a beautiful, carefree bird. His hair was slightly mussed, the longer locks falling into his eyes. Yennefer's hand itched with the need to brush them out of his face.

There was sweat glistening at his temples, trickling down his neck and chest that was shamelessly put on display as he left his frilly blouse open. Yennefer couldn't stop her eyes from straying there, drawn to the generous amount of chest hair and the string of golden necklaces resting between his pecks. Jaskier's voice dropped low, to something akin to a rumble, and there was an almost manic glint inside his eyes: he didn't just sing his song, he lived it, and this created a powerful aura around him which Yennefer found herself inexplicably drawn to.

There was something special in the way he moved between the tables: the way he was putting himself out on display like that, vulnerable in a way as he was observed by many curious, hungry eyes, and also alluring and enchanting in his strength... it wasn't cheap, not at all, but it still felt like he was almost offering his body up to his audience. Yennefer's skin tingled pleasantly at the thought. Fuck, what was going on with her, thinking about Jaskier in such a way?

Everyone was staring at him with open admiration, enamored by him; Yennefer was certain the members of the crowd would have been more than happy to get their hands on the handsome bard. The thought made Yennefer growl and grip her glass harder.

Her eyes drifted to Jaskier's hands, the way his long, elegant fingers slid over the strings of his lute, the veins visible under the skin. Yennefer took a sip of her wine, trying to numb the increasing heat that rose inside her.

Jaskier moved next to her table and put his leg up on an empty stool, as he usually did when he was about to seduce one of his fans. Yennefer rolled her eyes at him, but she still barely resisted the urge to grab Jaskier's thigh. He kept direct eye contact with her as he sang the last line, something about a dangerous temptress who only turned sweet and docile between his hands. Yennefer wished she could refute that notion, but when the song ended on a note that almost sounded like a moan, she realized the lyrics might have been right.

The thunderous clap made Jaskier preen. He grinned, flashing his perfect, pearly white teeth and he took a dramatic bow.

"Well, what did you think, dearest witch of mine?" Jaskier purred as he plopped down next to Yennefer. The faint smell of his sweat and his usual cinnamon scent reached Yennefer's nose. "You were eyeing me quite a lot."

"I didn't realize," Yennefer shrugged. Jaskier grabbed her glass without asking and took a large sip. The way his throat moved as he swallowed the wine made Yennefer's blood buzz.

Sure, Jaskier was a handsome man, but when he was performing, his beauty amplified tenfolds, at least. He seemed bigger, brighter - his cheeks were flushed a lovely pink color, and his eyes were shining with pride, exhaustion and the sheer love of music. He panted quietly next to Yennefer, then he licked his lips, slowly dragging his tongue across his lower lip. He seemed almost delirious; Yennefer wouldn't have put it past him to be aroused by his own performance.

Well, he wasn't alone with that.

Yennefer cursed her luck for finding the Continent's most annoying, obnoxious bard attractive, but in all honesty: did she ever stand a chance?

[m34gs]

Tell us about your top five favourite video games! ❤️

Oh thank you so much for this ask, friend! I'm super excited to answer :D I will list them from fifth to first!

5th: This spot goes to Mario Party 8! I have a lot of fond memories of this game. Where I grew up, it was a very popular one for families to have for the Wii, and it was something we could play in large groups. It's silly and funny and there's not a lot you have to do to understand what's going on. The reason this isn't higher on my list is just simply because, in my opinion, it's only really fun when you play with others. Playing alone or just vs the computer is not really fun at all.

4th: Sims 4 is in fourth place. I really enjoy this game because it's pretty versatile in terms of how you can play it. You can use it simply to build homes (which is mostly what I'm doing right now; building and decorating is so much fun!), play out storylines that come with the base game and/or expansion packs (apparently there's quite a bit of actual lore, which is something I only learned a few months ago!) or even make your own crazy story-lines (currently: I have a family of vampires with one human member who desperately wants to be turned, an Elder vampire who just wants to raise a good vampire family, a young adult vampire who thrives being a vampire and is trying to seduce Vladislaus Straud, and a third young adult vampire who is desperate to be as human as possible and loves all things about humanity...and then I have another "family" where one woman was jealous of another's beauty so she tricked her into staying in a tower and I'm currently playing through as her, only able to befriend the people her captor invites over, and trying to convince one of them to "join" the family so she can get them to free her and run away with her and start a new family in a cozy magic cottage somewhere...). Possibilities are really endless, and that's what I love about it. But, the game is rough on my PC, and it sometimes lags or has issues where it doesn't load properly, or something doesn't register right, so sometimes I have to exit out and restart or try again a different day. It also can't seem to decide if it wants me to use keyboard controls or mouse controls. Some days right clicking rotates objects. Some days right clicking moves my screen. It is a Frustration.

3rd: Third place goes to Danganronpa! I really enjoy this series. As of now, I have played the first two games and part of Ultra Despair Girls. The mysteries are very fun, the storyline is interesting, and I think all the character designs are so unique and dynamic! I have a few favourite characters who won my heart fairly instantly, and I really love replaying chapters where they are more present in the story-line. I love all the art fandom has made for it, and I love the fanfics too! Free time events give more information and insight about the characters and the storyline even after the gameplay is finished, and that makes me really happy. After all, I am a sucker for character development and backstory.

2nd: Skyrim is in second place!! I used to play this game a bit more faithfully when I lived with my parents and had access to my brother's xbox. And a tv. I do not currently have a tv, as you know, friend, and I do all my gaming at the current time on my laptop and/or my phone. Anyway; Skyrim. It makes me really really happy. I love the fact that I can become a Vampire Lord, or a Werewolf, I can be the Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold, I can learn to be a bard, I can join the Theives' Guild, I can join the Dark Brotherhood, I choose which side I'm on in a civil war, I can adopt children, and have many houses...and those are all Side Quests (except the civil war, which can be done as a side quest or as part of the main story depending on how you play, if I recall correctly). Like, those aren't even the main quest. I never finished the main quest because I was too busy off doing side quests for rewards so I could buy pretty clothes and fun toys for my two children and then I would spend time with them and play tag and hide and seek like a good dad (I played as a male Dunmer). I genuinely miss this game, and trust me it will be the first one I purchase when I have a TV and Xbox of my own.

1st: First place goes to....Twisted Wonderland! Right now, that is the game I play the most, and it is the one I'm most focused on. I love the story and the characters. There's an interesting plot going on, and I am eager to know what happens next. The events and side stories are very entertaining (though I haven't been able to play as many events as I would've liked because I had a rough past year) and provide a deeper look at a lot of characters! I love Character Development!!!!!!! And I enjoy how different characters end up interacting with each other in the events, it fleshes out the world a bit and keeps the houses/dorms from feeling too divided or closed off. Like, it helps provide that sense of over-arching storytelling, rather than allowing each dorm's story to feel disjointed and not connected to the others. I really enjoy that. On top of all of that, there are fun rhythm games and minigames, battles you can fight daily, and other little cool features that I really enjoy and that allow me to "play" the game daily without feeling like I have to devote a whole bunch of time to it if I have a busier day ahead of me. I also really love the official art; it's all so pretty and wonderful. They really did a great job with the character art and the art for the different cards.

Thanks again for the ask, friend! It was fun to answer!