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tolkiendefiled · 10 days

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Season 2 Episode 1

Well, the Rings of Power is back, and it’s still the worst hate-fiction ever.

I’ve got to admit: it was hard to watch the first episode because I can’t see anything when I’m constantly rolling my eyes. The narrative decisions made in this episode are mind boggling. The show continues to change the story in ways that make the events of the Lord of the Rings either impossible or nonsensical. Everyone but Elrond acts completely out of character compared to their book counterparts, and they also do things that, in context to the show’s story, are so unbelievably stupid that you’d be hard pressed to call the Elves the wisest of all beings.

I want you to understand that the showrunners and writers had two years to fix the problems they caused in the first season. Not all of the problems could be fixed because many of them were part of the show’s half-ass plot. However, the writing problems, the dialogue, the pacing and the new narrative choices could have been fixed - but they weren’t. This is more of the same from the terrible dialogue to the inexplicable plot points, to the incessant copying of the Lord of the Rings story structure and Peter Jackson’s films.

Ironically, the least bad thing in the episode is the thing that will probably catch the most flak - their introduction of the good man Sauron and the scoundrel Elves and Men. The show opens with the crowning of Sauron at the beginning of the Second Age. He tells the Orcs of his plan to unite all the races into one and claims that, when he and the Orcs have achieved domination over the other races, the Orcs will no longer be feared and hated but worshiped as saviors.

Now, let me get this out of the way: much of what Sauron says is actually lore accurate. Why he says it, not so much. There are going to be a bunch of people complaining about this part of his speech.

“The Valar will never forgive you. Elves will never accept you. Men… Men will never look upon you with anything but horror and disgust. A corrupted and ignoble race, worthy only to be hunted and slaughtered.” - Sauron, The Rings of Power, Season 2, Episode 1: “Elven Kings Under the Sky”

Saying things like “Orcs’ lives matter” are going to be the people who have never read the books because this bit of the speech is lore accurate. Both Morgoth and Sauron control the Orcs partly by telling them that Men, Elves and Dwarves would fear and hate them, and kill them on sight. This is in the Silmarillion, the Unfinished Tales, and the History of Middle-earth books, so if you see anyone bitching about that part, they either didn’t read the books, didn’t pay attention to what they read or they’re lying.

The same goes for anyone complaining about Sauron acting as if he just wants order. That’s literally his MO. He favored order above all else, and although he wanted to be the one in charge, his initial motives were actually good because he was, in the beginning, himself good. He sided with Melkor (Morgoth) because of how Melkor put his plans into action. Don’t take my word for it. Take JRR Tolkien’s word for it. Go read Morgoth’s Ring, chapter five: “Myths Transformed,” “Notes on motives in the Silmarillion” paperback edition pages 394 to 398.

I’m being pedantic about this because I know there will be people who love to go “You didn’t do your research” any time anyone disagrees with them. Well, I did, and that marks the fourth time I’ve read that book, which is probably four more times than any of them.

What Sauron says in this scene is lore accurate. Why he says it definitely is not. The show changes a lot of things - the first being why Sauron is even talking to the Orcs. The show makes it sound like he appeared out of nowhere to randomly help the Orcs. That’s not at all the case. In the books, Sauron works with Morgoth throughout the First Age. After Morgoth’s defeat, Sauron puts on a fair form and repents for his actions. When summoned to stand before the Valar, he instead fled and didn’t show up again until about 500 years later, when he thought the Valar had forgotten about Middle-earth. At that time, he worked with the Easterlings who had already been corrupted by Morgoth. He doesn’t work with the Orcs until 500 years after that when he starts to build Barad-dûr.

The second change is the idea of Sauron negotiating with the Orcs. That’s not only something he would never do, but it’s something he wouldn’t need to do because the Orcs were so corrupted by Morgoth that they’re essentially genetically coded to fall in line with the Dark Lord or, really, anyone with a greater will. This turns them into drone-like creatures who simultaneously hate being controlled that way, but also need the influence to have any sense of order or unity. Sauron wouldn’t need to talk the Orcs into doing anything. His power alone would make them side with him. The show tries to present Sauron as a tragic figure - one who tried to help the Orcs only to be betrayed by them. At that point, my eyes were rolled so far back in my head that I almost missed the part where the Orc tries to stab him in the back, but then he catches the Orc and brutally kills him.

Adar is also there and, the whole time, it seems like he’s actually controlling the Orcs with these side glances. He tells the Orcs to pledge allegiance to Sauron. They do. Then Adar gets the crown to place on Sauron’s head, but stabs Sauron with it instead, and the Orcs treat Sauron’s ass like Caesar turned up to 11. If you’re wondering why the Orcs would do this, you’re in good company because I don't know either. In the prologue of the first season, we saw Sauron with an army of Orcs, so you’d think they knew him and would obey him. Even if he changed his form, he’s still using the same name and has the same powers, so why do they turn on him? If they don’t know him, which undermines the prologue, why do they turn on him when his plan would put them in power? None of this makes any sense, so it’s like the first season all over again.

Speaking of not making any sense, when Sauron dies, Adar kicks him to make sure he’s dead and Sauron’s spirit erupts and freezes the land around them, despite Sauron being associated with fire. But, see, he doesn’t really die because his blood falls through all the cracks in the ground and collects in a cave. Presumably, after hundreds - if not thousands - of years, Sauron’s goop attacks a rat and uses that stolen life to drag itself out of the cave and the mountain and down to a road where it kills a woman in a wagon, and then Sauron takes on his new form of Halbrand. Now, it is true that any Maia taking on a living form can be killed in that form, but that would only strip them of that body. Their spirit would be fine and, depending on their power, they could take on a new form again. To have Sauron turn into a puddle of blood does not make any sense, neither does him killing other things to take on a new form. The show makes no attempt to explain why this would even happen.

Oh, but then it gets nuttier because then Halbrand randomly bumps into some people fleeing an Orc attack and he meets an old man who has the crest he later uses to claim that he’s the heir to this kingdom, but the old man’s family were actually the servants of the real king’s family and he keeps it as a reminder. Apparently, Halbrand wants to kill himself after just resurrecting, but the old man convinces him to join his group leaving on a boat, which then gets attacked by a sea monster. Halbrand then steals the crest from the man when the dude gets trapped under a beam. This connects to the scene when Galadriel spots the remains of the boat when her dumbass tries to swim across an ocean to get back to Middle-earth.

To recap, Sauron goes full JD Vance, and then gets shanked for being so weird, settles in a pool of his own blood for a couple hundred years, then springs back to life killing creatures to get a new form, only to decide to try to kill himself once he’s human, but then changes his mind when he talks to the old man, but then backstabs the old man, and then teams up with Galadriel seemingly to get revenge on the Orcs and Adar who backstabbed him without ever telling anyone why he’s doing it. This is the first 15 minutes of the show and the best part of the episode, and it doesn’t make a lick of sense. This guy drags himself out of a mountain where he was dying just so he could die again, and then randomly changes his mind? Now, this is where someone will say that maybe he was looking for the Orcs, which is fair. But we don’t see that and he doesn’t say that, so how do we know that? What he says is that he’s seeking death, so there’s a problem because he was already dead, so why did he come back to life?

Speaking of problems, you remember how, in the Fellowship movie, Arwen got chased by the ringwraiths? You remember how cool that was? Now imagine that, instead of nine riders chasing down smoking hot Liv Tyler, it’s just Galadriel chasing down Elrond literally trying to grab his sack. That’s just a very unfortunate double entendre, and it will not be the last. Also, that’s actually not the problem with this scene. The problem is that we have no idea why she’s chasing him. I have a pretty good memory, but I couldn’t remember anything from the last episode of season one that had Elrond take the rings and try to keep them from anyone, so I checked the episode, and the last we see of Elrond and Galadriel is her smiling about the rings and him looking dour now that he knows that Halbrand isn’t what he claimed to be, but there’s nothing about Elrond taking the rings, so why is he running away with them? How did he even get them? There’s a story beat that’s missing, which happens a few more times in this episode, and it was a recurring problem in the first season too. We need context for why characters do things.

It seems like the writer for the episode decided to invert the explanation, so we get the reason for Elrond taking the rings after he’s already taken them, but before he knows the reason. The rings were crafted by Sauron. The way this goes down is: Elrond races to tell Gil-galad about Halbrand, and he has the rings for some reason. Galadriel tries to chase him down, but fails, so Elrond reaches the High King first. Galadriel then admits to the king that Halbrand is Sauron, which pisses off Gil-galad, who never believed Galadriel’s claim that Sauron was alive anyway, so his anger makes no sense. I’m going to have to correct myself here because I said, in conversation with friends, that everyone knew that Halbrand was Sauron, but that’s not true. Galadriel only told him that Halbrand was not who he claimed to be and not to trust him. She never told Elrond or Celebrimbor that Halbrand was Sauron, so one, my mistake. And two, why does Elrond take the rings? He doesn’t know there’s anything wrong with them. As far as he knows, the rings can still help heal the tree that somehow ties the Elves to immortality in Middle-earth, which also doesn’t make a lick of sense, but I’ll get to that later.

Now that Elrond knows the rings were created with Sauron’s scrap, he refuses to hand them over to the king because he doesn’t know what control Sauron might have over them, even though Galadriel says Sauron never touched them. This is the biggest problem in the show. Elrond is so obviously right that it makes Gil-galad and Galadriel look dumb and dumber to want to use the rings. This massive issue only happens because the showrunners decided to invert the order in which the rings were created. In the book, the Seven and the Nine were created first, with Sauron’s help, while Celebrimbor makes the Three on his own. This is how the Elves know for sure that Sauron has no direct power over the Three. By reversing the order of creation, the Elves now have no way to know what, if any, control Sauron has over the rings because they have no point of reference. There are no other Rings of Power. Why would anyone put on these rings when the enemy could control them?

This is probably why this show has this nonsense about the tree being tied to the Elves’ immortality. If the tree’s light fades and the Elves can no longer stay in Middle-earth, then they will leave the Men and Dwarves to the machinations of Sauron, while the Elves flee back to Valinor. The only way for the Elves to stay and fight is using the Three Rings to restore the light of the tree, granting them immortality in Middle-earth again. I guess that works in a kind of backwards logic. Of course, that begs the question of why we never hear anything about this damn tree in the Lord of the Rings. It would be the first thing Sauron would destroy because they’d get rid of the Elves, but it never comes up. Remember, the Rings of Power is supposed to connect to the Lord of the Rings, so that’s a major change that breaks the story because all the Elven cities on the west coast are more or less abandoned by the Third Age, so what happened to the tree? Did they just leave it? Did they take it somewhere else? How does this fading light affect half-Elves like Elrond? Does he half die? Since half-Elves have the gift to choose mortality, should he choose a mortal life? Does his light go back to the tree? All of this nonsense could have been avoided by telling the story in the proper order. There was no reason to change it. The change doesn’t even add anything to the story. It doesn’t fit with the lore at all, and it’s so convoluted that the show can barely explain it.

Anyway, Gil-galad wants the rings to save the tree, but Elrond won’t give them up and jumps into the waterfall to get away. He somehow survives this, which would be surprising if half the cast hadn’t survived a volcanic eruption at point blank range in the last season. Meanwhile, Halbrand has somehow wound up as a prisoner of the Orcs, still claiming to be a king, which is strange because the last time we saw him, he was smiling with Mount Doom in the background. How did he end up with these people, and why is he in chains? Anyone? Anyone from the show want to explain what happened? While you’re at it, would you like to explain how much time has passed between the last episode and this one, just for reference? No? What? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Say it again? “This isn’t that kind of show.” Got it.

Halbrand is in chains and gets taken in front of Adar, claiming that he will help Adar find Sauron if Adar frees his people. So, he went from Caesar to Moses. Is he going to do an impression of Jesus next? That’s a rhetorical question. I’ve already seen the clips. The answer is yes. Anyway, I think Adar suspects that Halbrand might be Sauron, but it’s not clear.

Either way, Adar orders his men to torture Halbrand before later coming to talk to him about the story about how Adar and the other Moriondor, the “sons of the dark,” came into being. They were promised power by Morgoth and locked away on a cliff to starve. Eventually, Sauron brought Adar wine and it’s implied that this is the wine that changed Adar, which is why he hates Sauron. This is fine. It does borrow pieces from the Silmarillion, but it works. It’s just buried midway in the episode between the convoluted plot about the rings and the Stranger and Nori wandering around in the desert eating bugs.

Another moment that works in the scene is when Halbrand pledges his allegiance to Adar, but instead of saying Adar, he says the Dark Lord and then smirks because he’s the Dark Lord. We also see in this scene that he uses his power to control a warg that later attacks the Man torturing him. In short, we see Sauron being evil, but with the implication that he’s just getting revenge against Adar. The show tries to make Sauron a tragic villain. I don’t know why they did this with Sauron when they already have the character Adar to use for that concept. It works better with him because he’s a corrupted Elf, whereas Sauron is a growing Dark Lord. But then again, I’ve got this nasty habit of wanting things to make sense, so of course, I would find it weird for the greatest evildoer in the land to be treated as a tragic victim of circumstances.

Speaking of tragic circumstances, let’s talk about the Stranger (totally not Gandalf, by the way) and his damn Hobbit because their scenes killed the already glacial pace of the show. If, before, the show moved like molasses, these scenes make it move like glass. The first scene was barely seven minutes long; I swear it felt like twenty minutes. And what do we get for our struggle? A bunch of clunky dialogue either borrowed from the Lord of the Rings book and film or trying and failing to sound like it came from Tolkien. I just watched Kung Fu Panda 4 and part of the story was Po trying to come up with wise sayings. That’s what this scene was like, but slower and not entertaining. All this just to establish that the mystery man is having wet dreams about grabbing his staff and things erupting when he does. I told you that there would be more unfortunate double entendres.

Nori asks the Stranger about his dreams, but that’s not the kind of thing you share with a young lady. He also tries to use his power to make a tree grow because they need food, but he can’t control it and destroys the tree, but calls up some bugs for him and Nori to eat. Off in the distance, he sees a light and realizes they’re being followed. We all know who this is, but they don’t. Later, they set a trap to catch the person and it turns out to be Poppy, who followed them this whole time and they never noticed. On the plus side, she brings food, a map, and a hint of how to find the right way. Apparently, the Hobbits came from this direction and their walking song tells them how to find their way through the desert. Of course, Poppy isn’t the only one following them. One of Xerxe’s minions from 300 spies on them the whole time. I mean, why steal from Peter Jackson when you can also crib from Zack Snyder?

The rest of the episode is about the Elves finding Elrond. He goes to the Grey Havens to Círdan the Shipwright, who Elrond convinces to destroy the rings. Círdan won’t even look at the rings, and just takes Elrond’s word that they’re dangerous, and decides to toss them into a chasm in the sea, which might be a reference to Maglor for throwing one of the Silmarils into the sea. But when Círdan tries to throw it into the water, something bubbles up and the rings fall back into his boat. He finally opens the pouch and sees the rings and changes his mind. Meanwhile, Galadriel arrives with Gil-galad and tries to talk Elrond into giving her the rings, but Círdan already has them. Because of this, the group goes back to the tree and Gil-galad sings a sad song about the last leaves falling from the tree - or more like Tolkien weeping in his grave. And then Círdan shows up with the rings, wearing Narya the Ring of Fire, and gives the other two - Vilya the Ring of Air and Nenya the Ring of Water - to Gil-galad. Elrond shouts for the king not to put them on, causing Gil-galad to drop them. Nenya bounces to Galadriel, who puts it on, and suddenly the tree springs back to life, glowing with golden light as if it were a small version of Laurelin - one of the Two Trees of Valinor.

Now, if you hear some shuffling, don’t worry. That’s just Tolkien spinning in his grave. You’re going to hear that a lot in this show, so get used to it. Everything about this is wrong. The idea that the Elves need some tree to survive is wrong. That they need a Silmaril to fix it is wrong. That the Silmaril is a source of mithril is wrong. That the Three Rings are made of an alloy of mithril, meaning they’re part Silmaril, is wrong. And that putting on the rings instantly fixes the tree that’s not even connected to the rings, and the Elves don’t even do anything, is wrong. All that is before we talk about how all the Elves - the most beautiful beings in Middle-earth - look like regular people pulled off the street. Elrond’s face sums it up (below). How did it come to this?

Genuinely, I don’t understand how anyone reads Tolkien’s books and then envisions anything like this scene or anything that happens in this show. The Rings of Power is from a completely different world. It isn’t even in the same vein as Tolkien’s Elves being silly and goofy in the Hobbit and a little silly in the Lord of the Rings, but super serious in the Silmarillion. Nothing from the Rings of Power connects to Tolkien’s world. It’s just using names, locations and ideas from Tolkien’s works. If you watch this show and then read the Lord of the Rings or watch the films, you’d swear you missed something because it just doesn’t connect.

And then you get this crazy ending to the episode where Halbrand shows up at Celebrimbor’s forge. Celebrimbor lets him in, even though it’s only been a few days - maybe a few weeks - since Galadriel told Celebrimbor that Halbrand is a fraud; don’t trust him. Mind you, Gil-galad sends a message to Celebrimbor that Halbrand is Sauron, but because the show makes no attempt to tell you about distance or time, it’s not clear whether that message should have gotten there by now. Why in the world would he let this guy in after the events of the first season? In the book, it makes sense that Celebrimbor works with Annatar because no one knows who Annatar is. Even though Galadriel doesn’t trust him, the other Elves have no tangible reason to agree with her. In the Rings of Power, Celebrimbor knows the dude lied about his identity and ran away. Why does he let Halbrand in? It makes no sense why he would ignore Galadriel’s warning - aside from the fact that she’s the dumbest person in the world because she didn’t realize she was standing next to the guy she’s been hunting for centuries. That’s how the episode ends - with this set of inexplicable situations that come across like the worst hate-fiction ever.

I will give the show some credit. The VFX are better than the first season. The set design for the Sauron and Adar scenes were perfect. The Orcs look awesome. That said, the Elven sets still look like sets. I think that’s because of how they’re lit and the color grading done on the shots. I think more contrast and less saturation might make the Elven scenes feel more realistic. When it comes to the story - you know, the reason why anyone watches this show - yeah, it’s bad. On the plus side, it’s not worse than the first season. On the bad side, it’s more of the same. It’s like no one on the show learned from their mistakes, so they’re just making them all over again. I suspect that they’ll get the same result. They’ll lose most of their audience by mid-season. That might be why Amazon released three episodes up front. That gives them some coverage before the numbers fall off. If that’s the game they’re playing, it doesn’t bode well for the season or the series as a whole.

It’s always a strange choice for people to take something beloved by a large audience and then fundamentally change it and expect that fans will love the new take. I think damn near everyone loves the band Earth, Wind & Fire. I know everybody loves the song September, so when the world’s current mega pop star Taylor Swift decided to cover that song, I don’t think anyone expected to get her Panera Bread rendition, and nobody liked it. Everything about her cover was the wrong choice to make, and the same goes for the Rings of Power.

All the changes made in the show make it harder to tie the show back to the events that lead to the Lord of the Rings. That undermines the appeal of the show because it comes across as hate-fiction instead of an adaptation of the story. It doesn’t feel like Tolkien’s world. You can change a lot of things, like Peter Jackson did, but still make it feel like it belongs in Middle-earth. I think the War of the Rohirrim film will play out this way. It’ll be canonically incorrect, but still feel like it’s part of or could have happened in Tolkien’s world. Hell, even the Shadow of Mordor games managed that, and they’re wildly off.

I’m not interested in Amazon’s hate-fiction. I’m interested in seeing Tolkien’s works brought to life. The more you deviate from his works, the less I’m invested in your story. Even if it’s good, because I’m not just here for your take, I’m here for him; and when it seems like you have no respect for what he did, no respect for his work, I have no patience for yours. I’m willing to accept some changes because that’s the nature of adaptation, but the core story and characters shouldn’t be unrecognizable, and that’s unfortunately what we get with the Rings of Power.

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queerfables · 4 years

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Would y'all like some Supernatural Lore dropped on you that I assume was common knowledge at some point but which, as a new fan, I haven't really seen talked about? If so, settle in to learn about the origin of the phrase "The French Mistake", and some cinematic history on fourth-wall breaking that hits real differently in light of season 15.

We all know "The French Mistake" as the title of That One Episode where Supernatural goes so meta the real world becomes part of the show (also Misha Collins gets murdered?? I might as well confess now I haven't actually seen this episode, I'm still working my way through to it. Hopefully that doesn't become a problem...) Anyway, what you might not know is the title comes from the movie Blazing Saddles.

With some caveats, Blazing Saddles is an absolutely incredible movie: it's a comedy western made in 1974 about a Black man who becomes the sheriff of a racist town, defeats capitalism and gets a cute sharp-shooting boyfriend. The "boyfriend" part is subtext, but it's pretty damn loud.

So where does "The French Mistake" come in? It's the name of what might be the movie's most iconic scene. In the middle of the climax, a big western shoot-out turned brawl, the camera pans up out of the town and onto an adjacent movie set. The brawling cowboys burst through the wall of that set, out of their own film and onto the new set where they continue to fight. This is why the episode of Supernatural is named for this scene. Just like in Blazing Saddles, Sam and Dean stumble out of their fictional world and onto a film set.

Here's the part that takes this from good to GREAT: in Blazing Saddles, the set they burst onto is a musical, being filmed in the style of a Busby Berkeley number, and before our cowboys break through that fourth wall, we see a staircase lined with chorus boys. They are dancing suggestively, thrusting their hips and singing a song called The French Mistake.

Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush. Hands on your hips. Give them a push. You'll be surprised, you're doing the French mistake.

Look. Guys. It's a song about anal sex. It's being sung by a group of gay men. When the cowboys break the wall and stumble onto the set of the musical, one of them starts out fighting with one of the chorus boys and ends up walking off arm in arm with him. Two other chorus boys go for a romantic swim in a fountain.

"The French mistake" is a reference to the breaking of the fourth wall but it's also literally a euphemism for queer sex. Blazing Saddles makes breaking the fourth wall intrinsically tied to queerness breaking into the heterosexual narrative (I could write an entire essay on how that plays out in the relationship between the leads, Bart and Jim. Suffice to say they trade their horses for a limousine and drive off into the sunset together). Worth considering: are the metanarratives and fourth wall breaking on Supernatural also intrinsically tied to queerness manifesting in the narrative?

For a whole host of reasons, Mel Brooks thought Warner Bros would bury Blazing Saddles rather than release it. He told everyone working on it to just go wild and do all the things they wanted to do but never expected to get away with, because the chances were good it wouldn't matter. He had the right to the final cut - meaning that the execs couldn't force him to make any edits - but he didn't know if the film would ever see the light of day. It did, though, and ended up being a major hit. Brooks talked about this, and in particular the French Mistake scene, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly:

That was dangerous because I was asked by Warners — they said I can do everything you said, but they kept saying, “Don’t do the gay scene. Don’t break through the walls and do the gay scene. You’re crossing a line there.” I said, “Don’t be silly.” There’s always these musicals being shot at Warner Bros. with top hats and tails and dopiness, you know. I said, “It’s a good mixture of cowboys and gay chorus boys.” So I kept it all in. I had final cut.

There's something kind of familiar about that, right? Don’t break through the walls and do the gay scene. Queerness and metanarratives bound together, threatening the status quo. This scene in Blazing Saddles was so threatening to Warner Bros that above everything else in a very boundary-pushing movie, this was the one they wanted to cut.

One more thing that hits different after season 15, from another really meta episode... Yeah, I'm referring to the famous "why lamp?" scene. Other people have already talked about how the way Dean's dancing sequence in The Hero's Journey recalls the Hays Code and deliberate queer-coding in classic Hollywood. But I want to go further and say that it also specifically recalls the scene I've been talking about, Blazing Saddles' 'The French Mistake' scene.

Maybe this is just because it's drawing on the same frame of reference, or maybe it's more deliberate, but either way, the parallels are there, down to the suggestive song playing (We're all alone, no chaperone... let's misbehave). It's really telling to me that this dance sequence so closely parallels a scene that was almost censored for being too gay.

#Supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #blazing saddles #fable speaks

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jawritter · 4 years

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Together

Request: Hey! Can I request a Jensen x reader where reader is pregnant. Plot is like can you write experience in like 3rd or 4th month? Everyday Jensen stays with reader in bathroom when she had morning sickness. Then goes with her for vitamin shots. Reader panics in the doctors room, so doctor lefts so that Jensen will calm her down. He stays with her through full experience, then time gap and direct delivery room experience? Where reader curses Jensen but they have a son and everything's lovey again❤️

Warnings: Angst I guess? Stressed Reader, Reader in labor, shameless misuse of pregnancy and labor terms probably, even though I’ve had two kids I’m no doctor. lol. Language, fluff, I think that’s it.

Word Count: 1867

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons! Thanks so much hun!! ❤️

A/N: I hope this is okay anon!! It’s a little different from the request, but that's the way I saw it in my head lol. Every pregnancy is different guys! This is a fictional one shot! Not everyone needs the things the reader had to have in this fic! Also it doesn't matter how the baby gets here! Moms are power, strong, and awesome beings who deserve to be treated like the Gods they are!! Feedback is gold guys! Let me know what you think! Hope you all enjoy this one!! Flashbacks are broken off in sections, and in italics!

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

“Okay, calm down Y/n,” you say to yourself as you pace the floor of your bedroom, waiting on Jensen to get there so that you could go to the hospital. Your phone is held out in front of you, the contraction counting app on your phone informing you that your contractions had in the last hour gone from 7 to 10 minutes apart, to 3 to 4 minutes apart.

You had already called your doctor, and they said it was a good idea for you to go ahead and leave for the hospital. The only problem was, Jensen wasn’t there yet, and you were starting to panic.

He was filming late tonight. Even though he said in the text message he’d just sent that he’d be there in 10 minutes, you could feel the worry grip you tight in your chest.

10 minutes…

That’s at least two, maybe three more contractions on your own without him.

They were getting stronger in length and intensity, to the point where you had to breathe through them, and also had to stop your pacing.

You could already feel the beginnings of the next contraction. The uncomfortable tightening in your stomach letting you know it was coming, increasing in discomfort as the contraction peaked.

You tried to remember the breathing exercises you had learned in the birthing classes, and you knew that the contractions were only going to get a lot stronger, that this was just the beginning.

You wanted to try and have a completely natural, drug free delivery.

Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, but as the strongest contraction you have had so far peaked , you were starting to rethink the whole epidural thing.

Picking up your phone as your contraction started to ease up, you pressed the pause button on your phone counter and hurriedly dialed Jensen’s number, needing to hear his voice more than anything else right now. Your anxiety gripped at you tighter and tighter with each passing second.

“Baby, I’m on my way, five more minutes and I’ll be there, just hang tight okay.” Jensen’s voice came through the speaker, calm and deep as always. The man had a resolve of fucking monk, and it got under your skin in ways you couldn’t even describe at the moment.

“That’s not fast enough Jensen! This baby is coming, and I’m here by myself, so fuck you, and don’t you tell me to fucking calm down!” you yell at him through the phone, hormones and adrenaline making you a little more snappy at him then you had ever been in your life.

“Babe, easy, don’t stress out the baby. I will be there in plenty of time. The bags are already packed, and waiting for us in the car, all we have to do is get in it and go. Everything is going to be just fine! Have I ever left you alone throughout this whole pregnancy? You're gonna be just fine sweetheart, I’m almost there.”

He was right, and you knew he was. You instantly felt bad for yelling at him.

He’d been with you through everything.

When the morning sickness didn’t let up in the 3rd month, but instead stretched on in the fourth month he was right there…

-------------------------

Closing the toilet seat you flushed away the evidence of your morning sickness, and leaned your head back against the cool, porcelain of the bathtub next to you, taking deep breaths through your nose, trying to stave off the next wave of nausea that was already pulling at your senses.

“Easy sweetheart, deep breaths,” Jensen said, as he sat down on the tub, running his fingers through your hair, gathering it up and pulling it up into a ponytail for you, before placing a cool, damp rag on your face.

“They said the second trimester was supposed to be the good trimester Jay! All this morning sickness was supposed to be over by now!!”

You were not only sick, but frustrated . This pregnancy had been hard, and this was the sickest you had ever been in your life. In these moments, it was hard to keep sight of the goal, which was a healthy baby and just soldier through it. Especially when the sickness had lasted this long for you.

“Remember what the doctor said? All these pregnancy symptoms, the morning sickness, the headaches, the fatigue, it’s all a sign that the baby is healthy and growing. We got an appointment for tomorrow to check on everything. Right now, let’s just get something in your stomach so it will settle. I’ll go grab some crackers. That seemed to help some yesterday.”

-------------------------------

Jensen stayed on the phone with you until he got there, and true to his word everything was packed and ready to go.

He even had a towel on the seat waiting for you, just in case your water broke. You hadn’t even thought about that.

The ride to the hospital was quite uncomfortable, but it was nothing compared to the next 20 hours.

When you got to the hospital, the contractions were 3 to 2 minutes apart, they decided to keep you, since you were four centimeters dilated, and you were 100 % effaced.

From that point on, the contractions became almost intolerable, and just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, they got even worse.

The only problem was you weren’t progressing.

You were still at 4 centimeters. The baby was still very high in positioning, and it just wasn’t going anywhere.

You had tried everything. Walking as much as you could, sitting on a birthing ball, peanuts pillows between your legs, everything. Nothing had helped!!

Now the doctors were talking about things that just weren’t in your birth plan. Epidurals, possible c-sections… Things you just didn’t want to do.

You were upset, you were exhausted, and you were angry, especially at Jensen.

“Baby girl, you’re so fucking amazing, and taking an epidoral will help not only you, but the baby rest as well. If your body can relax you can progress without the help of pitocin, and hopefully avoid a section.”

“Fuck you Jensen. You know this is not how I planned for this to go! How can you just suggest I just give up! You know how I feel about needles.”

There it was. The real reason you hated the idea of having the epidural. Your irrational fear of needles.

“Baby girl. Remember when you got really, really sick during this pregnancy? You had to go have those vitamin shots? They helped didn’t they? Baby, this will help to.Please, I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

Looking into his jade, slightly bloodshot eyes from exhaustion, you could see he was telling you the trust, that he was genuinely worried about you. He’d not slept any in over 48 hours, combined with work, and now this labor dragging on. Still, he never once complained.

Your mind drifted back to those vitamin shots he was talking about, and he was right, they did help.

------------------------------

“Mrs. Ackles, you're going to have to stay calm. It’s not that bad of a shot, I promise you. You will barely even feel it.”

The doctor was quickly losing his patience with your hysterical state, and you could tell , but you people just don’t understand what it’s like to fear something so completely, that you can’t see past it the way you did about needles. Your anxiety didn’t help you either.

“Let me talk to her.” Jensen said, coming over to your side, and wrapping his arms around as you buried your face into his shoulder, body still shaking with the fear that was gripping you.

You heard the door to the room close , and you felt Jensen’s lips brush the top of your forehead. His strong hands rubbing up and down your back in an attempt to sooth you.

“Baby girl, it’s gonna be okay. This will help you, and the baby. If you're not well, the baby isn’t well either. He depends on you to get his nutrients. You both need this. It’s one little pinch and that’s it. Then you will feel so much better.”

“I know Jay. I’m just terrified, and I can’t calm down.”

Jensen tightened his grip around you, one large hand coming down over your stomach. A comforting, grounding weight in the midst of all your anxiety induced confusion.

“I’ll be right here the whole time.”

You heard the door open, and the doctor and nurse reentered the room.

“You just keep your face buried where it’s at, and it will be over before you know it. I’m not going to let anything hurt you, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Okay.” you finally agreed to let them give you the vitamin shot. Burying your face closer into his shoulder, and breathing his scent in deeply.

----------------------------

The vitamin shot did help, and it wasn’t even that bad.

Your fears at the time were irrational, and you knew that was the case now.

It didn’t make you any less of a woman to have an epidural. It didn’t make you weak, or any less of a Mom, and you knew that. It was just your fear.

But Jensen was here, and he would always be here. Even though you had been hard on him, he was right here, and you knew he’d protect you with everything in you.

“Okay, okay, let’s do the epidural.” you said, almost in defeat. Jensen’s lips came to meet yours in a quick peck. Relief evident on his face.

“Okay baby girl. Let’s get you some relief.”

----------------------------------

The epidural wasn’t as near as bad as you thought, and it did allow not only your body to rest and progress, but also for Jensen, as well as you, to get about three hours of much needed sleep.

You were even well enough rested to go through the whole process of birth a little clearer, and not in as much pain. The two of you bringing your little miracle man in the world together.

Jensen never left your side throughout the whole delivery, and even now that he was here, sitting as close to you as possible with his arm thrown around your shoulders, holding the both of you as you nursed your new little miracle.

“You did it sweetheart. He’s perfect.” Jensen said, placing a kiss to the top of your head, lingering there longer than needed.

“No Jay. We did it together, and I’m sorry I was such a bitch during the delivery,” you told him, resting your head against his shoulders.

Jensen’s deep chuckle next to you made you smile a little, as he remembered some of the things labor made you say to him.

“If we ever have another one, I’m wearing a cup just to be on the safe side.”

You had never felt so close to him in all of your life. This had brought you both into a deeper level of love and respect. One that you didn’t even know existed.

No matter what you had to face raising this baby boy, you’d do it the way he came into this world.

Together.

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Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x pregnant!reader #x pregnant!reader #jensen x reader #jensen x you #jensen x pregnant!reader #x reader inserts #spn #spn fanfic #jensen ackles one shot #jensen ackles drabble #jawritter

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artanisnaanie · 3 years

Text

Canon, or not canon, that is the question

I see we've reached the monthly "shit on netflix adaptation because that's not canon". Awesome.

The games are not canon either.

Adaptations are fanfic, all of them. They're either all to be considered canon, or none of them. We can choose and pick and make our own canon-bouquet, of course, that's the point of transformative works, but we can't decide for everyone that certain adaptations are "more canon" than others. We can't go after someone who made a different bouquet and say it sucks because the flowers are picked in a nearby field instead of the one we picked them. Keep picking your flowers and leave others pick theirs, you don't have to smell them if you don't want to.

When the original author doesn't give any description of his characters more than the odd hair color, any physical description of a character is valid. Any casting choice is valid.

When the original author, per his own admittance, is an aphantasic who doesn't work with visuals, any visual adaptation is going to be different, and valid in its own way.

When the original author is an internal monologues author any visual adaptation is going to have to choose how to render that, how to make it accessible to viewers. Videogames have the freedom of internal monologues or external recaps (the missions diary), while TV doesn't. Transforming books so heavily not-visual into something visual IS a challenge, and a big one, even more than usual book-to-film adaptations. Choices had to be made, and since there was no relation between Netflix and CDPR before season 1, choices had to be made indipendently from the video games.

I came to The Witcher universe through the games. They're my husband favourite games (even if The Last of Us II may just have reached first place recently) and I've watched him play a lot. Now I'm on my first own playthrough and in my fourth Novigrad Gwent tournament. We had expectations for the show. We weren't convinced Cavill was the right choice. We were bugged that Triss wasn't a red-head. I still have opinions on the show (the management of the timeline, the dragon for fuck's sake) but, after reading the books, playing the games and writing some 30-odd fanfics and reading 3000 (all universes, all characters, all ships), I am even more convinced that the show is a good adaptation and even more convinced that it's going to get better as we go through the story.

Adaptation is a key-word, here. The show, like the games, is not a retelling. Not a remake. An adaptation. A fanfiction. The vision of a fan that is different from us exclusively because she gets paid a whole lot of money to do what we do for free on ao3.

That adaptation can not be to your taste, sure. I don't like the Percy Jackson's movies. It's valid, too. But they exist, and people love them, people have read the books after watching the movies, people have in their mind Alexandra Daddario as Annabeth even if Annabeth is blonde with grey eyes and 12, and it's ok. I don't care. It's not my problem, it doesn't touch me.

Fictional characters are.. fictionals. You can't hurt them, neither by killing them or giving them trauma or giving them the "wrong" partner, and you can't hurt them by changing their appearance either. They're concepts, words, ideas, that you can shuffle and play with and select and change at will. They're not people.

The friend who's going to see you ranting about how writing a character this was instead of that way is wrong and hurtful to this character and unfair and WRONG, however, is a real person who could be actually hurt by this and decide to reconsider writing this character specifically, or writing altogether.

And yes, this is valid in the other directions too. Being a fan of the show, games or books doesn't mean all fanfic or fanart needs to cater to you. You have no right to ask for a pairing the author is not writing. You have no right to tell an author that who this character should be paired with, or how they should be called, or how to describe them, in any circumstances.

Your power, your real power, is into selecting the media you consume and deciding to opt out if it doesn't cater to your tastes. Without being an asshole about it.

Please do not reblog.

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imagitory · 3 years

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I just woke up from a dream, and I don’t know what writers or artists might need to read this, but...I thought I’d write it down anyway.

A lot of my dreams feature half-baked stories. In this dream, there was a little girl with a mane of curly bright pink hair who was the hero of a bunch of children’s books called Angelina. Her thing was to always, without fail, make sure that the circus came to town. She always saved her small town from every little thing that went wrong, no matter how big it was and how small she was. Maybe the school bus that carried their next star trapeze artist broke down. Maybe it started raining everything from regular rain to comets. Maybe sky pirates appeared out of the sky and kidnapped the ringleader. No matter what it was, though, Angelina always made sure the circus came to town.

Eventually, though, Angelina got to the point that she did so much for everybody else that she ended up going full-on super villain. Her pain and rage at the world and the lot it had dealt her became so terrifyingly strong that it gave her a dangerous kind of power.

As the dream went on, the narrator telling the story (who I voiced) kept looking for someone in her colorful cast of side characters to stand up to her and save the villain from herself. We went into several strange dimensions looking -- there was one with pirates, one with floating cars, one where everything was a show filmed by people who constantly broke the fourth wall and nobody cared -- but one by one, thanks to Angelina’s new powers or even the characters’ own disinterest in fighting her, they all disappeared. Eventually the only person left to drive the bus to Angelina’s villain lair and confront her is the narrator herself -- so she gets behind the wheel and drives there.

When the narrator (who may I point out towers over just about everyone with her size) arrives, she has to take out Angelina’s two henchpeople (two rather Hostess sweet-like confections) first by picking them up and eating them. When the narrator strides into the room, Angelina shows no fear despite her opponent’s size -- instead she reacts with mock hurt, saying she was expecting the narrator to bring her a present, if she was going to come to her “party.” She uses her all-powerful wand to try to attack the narrator, but the narrator catches the blast with such ease she’s able to stifle it and the wand’s star tip solely with her hand. Angelina is impressed that the narrator is that resilient, but is nonetheless prepared to fight. The narrator, however, is not, and she says:

“You shouldn’t fight. You should listen.”

And the narrator crosses her legs and sits down on the floor, towering over the tiny villainized Angelina. Angelina, still wicked and angry but also very confused, very slowly eases herself down, watching the narrator carefully. Once they’re both settled, the narrator starts to talk.

“I know you’re angry and hurting...but right now, you’ve really been hard on my mental health.”

Angelina frowns, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Let me tell you a story,” says the narrator.

As she speaks, a smiling, kind-eyed woman with dark skin appears over her shoulder, smiling proudly at both the narrator and Angelina. (She looked a lot like my stepmother, actually.)

“When I was little, you were the main character of these books I used to read with my mom. You were the first character I ever saw with hair just like mine. And you always did your best to help people, even when the whole world was against you. You inspired me, and you brought my mom and me closer together. You made me want to do my best every day and always be kind and forgiving. When I started college, I decided I was going to write my own story about you, as a gift for my mom. I knew even if it was trash, she’d love it anyway -- and maybe if it was good, I could share it with other people.”

The narrator -- who once again, I’ll remind you, spoke in my voice -- was starting to cry at this point.

“But then...”

The woman over the narrator’s shoulder faded away to dust, the narrator burst into tears, and I was so full of emotion that I woke up.

It’s very clear, looking back on the dream, that the narrator had experienced terrible grief -- the kind that doesn’t just make you cut yourself off from everyone else, but that also makes you hate the whole world and see it as an inherently dark and cruel place. And so she tried to cope through writing those feelings out, destroying the world of her childhood in her own head through her favorite fictional character. And it’s only at the end that she realizes that no one else can stand up to the avatar of her grief but herself. But even though the dream ended before I could finish the story, I can say with confidence what the moral is.

Don’t be afraid to tell your muses no.

Many of us artists use our craft as therapy, projecting our own experiences onto our characters and using them as an escape. But there are times when the real world really needs to come first -- that the best way to handle our problems isn’t through having our characters do what we wish we could do, but by taking time to self-reflect.

So when you have trouble writing or drawing, don’t feel bad about walking away from your computer or sketchbook or journal or whatever for a while to take care of yourself. When you have to abandon a project because you’ve lost all inspiration, that’s okay -- you can always find another, and maybe in the future, aspects of that original project might inspire something else. If you’re using writing or drawing as therapy like I often do, don’t also forget to reach out to others and maybe get actual therapy too.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your muses and take control of your own narrative.

#personal #mental health #artists #writers #grief

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beesandbooks1 · 4 years

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Discussion: Give Readers Some Credit.

So. Let’s talk about readers, and authorial intent, shall we?

First a detour. Who here is familiar with the Hays Code? Just in case: in the 1930’s it was established for motion pictures in the USA and presented strict guidelines about what could and couldn’t be put into films. The Code lasted until the late 1960’s but its impact on film is absolutely still seen today, specifically in the rating system for films. The Hays Code dictated various moral guidelines that somewhat stripped viewers of film of their autonomy, implying that the general public wouldn’t be able to distinguish between good and bad or right and wrong without films making it very clear what those lines were. There was no grey area in the Hays Code.

Literature, for its part, has had various formal and informal rules and guidelines applied to it throughout centuries of publishing that dictate who can and can’t read certain topics. I’m not going into a history lesson on that, but suffice to say that at some point just about every person who wasn’t a white cishet man has had a restriction put on them for reading at all or reading certain things. Today, the big issues come down to censorship, banning books, and lobbying against books for a particular reason.

Censorship Today

Censorship is a big ticket issue today, both formally and informally, and internationally. I will admit to having limited knowledge and experience of the kind of censorship experienced in places such as China, but I am aware it is present, enforced, and potentially dangerous. Formal censorship worldwide comes in the form of preventing books being published or translated in the country at all, banning its sale in its original format, and sometimes going so far as to censor access to websites that sell the book and social media platforms where the book is widely discussed. Government level censorship of books generally is inspired by fear of what the books might inspire, from protests to full on coups. Usually, this act of censorship is indicative of larger systemic problems within the government not real problems within the book’s content.

Informal censorship is a bit more complicated, and comes about in a few ways, including straight out banning books in a community which I will discuss in the next section. Informally censoring a book usually comes from a community speaking out against something in the book or something about the author they are opposed to. This differs slightly from lobbying against a book because if a community quietly agrees to censor a book from those in the community that shouldn’t be exposed to it (whether with good intentions or not) they won’t also attempt to have the book banned elsewhere, or turn it into a political topic by protesting the books very existence. More on that later. Instead, this informal censorship is more in line with parents or groups of parents agreeing to forbid their children from reading certain books–usually for moral and religious reasons.

An example of informal censorship from my own life: when I was attending Catholic school as a preteen The Golden Compass was released as a movie. The school itself never released a statement or talked about the book or movie, and the farthest I got to an adult’s opinion on it was when someone asked my religious studies teacher about it and she pointed out that the books are fiction so did it really matter if the subject matter went against religious beliefs? However, the parents of my classmates at least were scared. My mother received an email from a concerned parent who was encouraging all the parents in our class to prevent us from seeing the movie, and that if for some reason one of us did see it to keep it to ourselves so as not to encourage the rest of the kids to want to see it too. This act of informal censorship resulted in a group of preteens who probably didn’t even care about this issue being prevented from reading Philip Pullman’s works or seeing the movie based on them. The parents didn’t want to try and get the books removed from the public library or the movie taken out of theaters, they just wanted to ensure their children were never exposed to it.

Fun fact: the day my mother read that email she came home with the full set of His Dark Materials and later she bought me the movie on DVD.

Banning Books

Banning books is a lot more straight forward than the degrees of censorship. Most readers are familiar with the idea of banned books. Books tend to be banned from smaller communities, such as a town’s library and school, but are rarely enforced at a higher level without censorship getting involved. I’m going to be using “banned books” to refer to that lower level, not government level censorship. Thus, banned books are still purchasable in this context through retailers such as Amazon and chain bookstores.

A banned book can be banned for any number of reasons. I see banned book lists often enough that have things such as “unrealistic female characters” referring to The Wizard of Oz. Many readers who chance upon one of these lists tend to take pride in having read much of its contents, especially depending on the context of the book bans. Some book bans are focused on schools and keeping “unsuitable” material out of students’ hands. This ranges from “this book is too pornographic to be appropriate” to “this book encourages witchcraft and we can’t have that!” While there might be something to be said about schools having age appropriate books available in the library–if the oldest kids in the school are ten then maybe Stieg Larsson’s books aren’t a priority–many book bans are comical in their ridiculous reasoning.

Book bans come from a combination of underestimating the critical reading abilities of others and from fearing what those others might do with the knowledge the book contains. For example, a highly misogynistic person might not want books that portray women in positions of power to become available for the next generation of young girls. They both underestimate the girls’ ability to choose a lifestyle for themselves by assuming any fiction they consume will immediately shape their decision making, and they also fear what the girls might choose to do if presented with the idea that they have options. While many book bans sound like silly reasoning, a lot of them are insidiously chosen as a form of disenfranchisement. Preventing Black readers from having positive role models from authors of color, for example, assists the school to prison pipeline.

Lobbying Against Books

Lobbying against books is where book banning gets more serious. This is the middle step between book banning and book censorship, really. Lobbying against a book is when a group or sometimes an individual take it upon themselves to ban a book for their own community and then try to get it banned on a larger scale. Now, there are times that lobbying against a book is actually done with good intentions and not with the intent of banning or censoring the book. There are times where the author reveals themselves to be…lacking in some way, and that may have affected the writing they produce. I know I’m dancing around some authors in particular, but I didn’t make this post to call out specifics so.

An example of a bad lobbying idea: An upcoming YA release is announced and hyped by excited would-be readers. The book sounds awesome! It’s written by a new author, has really good Own Voices representation, and presents a unique story. It is largely regarded as an excellent contribution to literature by bookish folks. A conservative parent purchases the book upon its release with the intention of giving it to their daughter, and due to their household rules about book content the parent reads the book first to ensure it complies. The parent discovers that the book contains a relatively mild romance plot, but that the main character does have sex in this plotline, though the scene is hardly explicit or erotic. Conservative parent is very worried that reading about the idea of sex will inspire their daughter to have sex and decides this book is dangerous and not suitable for their daughter. Unfortunately, with all the excitement over the book, the daughter keeps asking to read it. Perhaps her friends have all read it, perhaps it’s being pitched by the school library as a great new release, perhaps it’s being developed into a film or TV series that her classmates are excited to watch. The parent now starts telling other parents that they shouldn’t allow their children to read this book or watch anything based on it, largely out of fear that their daughter will be exposed to it somehow. Other conservative parents jump on board, banning the book from their households and attempting to have it banned altogether so as to prevent their kids from getting their hands on it. Perhaps the ban makes it through the school and the public library, but the local Barnes and Noble continues to sell copies and they’re going fast. In order to get the book taken off of a chain store’s shelves, the parents now have to lobby to have the book banned on a much larger scale, so they do so. All because they don’t want their teenagers having sex yet.

An example of a good lobbying idea: A really popular author has come out with a new book. This is his fourth book, and many readers are excited to get a copy and devour it. Book bloggers and other voracious readers have torn through the previous three because they’re witty, have appealing characters, and a unique worldbuilding set up. However, a bisexual reader immediately recognizes that this fourth book has the main character being extremely biphobic. The biphobia is upsetting for the reader, but they persevere because up to this point the main character has been a good role model and perhaps the biphobia is a character flaw that’s going to be called out and corrected. It is not by the end of the book, and the reader is now uncomfortable. Unsure. The reader tells other bisexual readers to be careful, that the content can be triggering due to its biphobia. LGBTQ+ readers in general are warned and slowly become cautious about the books and author in general. The fifth book comes out, and the bisexual reader timidly approaches it with an open mind, hoping that it was just a multi-book character arc. The biphobia continues, reinforced by the positive reception to the character in the fourth book. It’s clear that this is here to stay. The LGBTQ+ readers who are aware of this problem start to speak out, asking others to critically read this book and not internalize the biphobia in it. The author doubles down on the biphobia, defending it when criticized. Now more readers speak out, pointing out that this is potentially harmful, asking other readers to be very critical when consuming the author’s works and to consider ending their support of the author over his remarks.

Why all of this sucks

Ultimately, a lot of this comes down to stripping readers of their autonomy. Think about people who argue that some books are bad because a character in them does bad things. The majority of those that read the book probably recognize those bad things for what they are, and know that the character is nuanced and not always right. But there are those that would lobby to have the book removed from all reading spaces because the character that does bad things might be appealing to an impressionable reader and encourage them to do bad things. This is a very narrow-minded view that is also highly condescending. Teenagers can read a book where a seventeen-year-old has sex without immediately going out and having sex themselves. Readers in general deserve the credit to know that not everything that happens in fiction is realistic or positive. If a reader can tell the difference between reality and fiction, they can certainly make their own choices in real life without being unduly influenced by the actions and thoughts of fictional characters.

This belittling fear that certain readers are too impressionable to be exposed to certain media is astoundingly simplistic. We have to give readers more credit than that. Sure, there will be books that need to come with content warnings, trigger warnings, and disclaimers. There are some authors whose racism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism (among other things) leak into their writing and those books when read need to be read with the knowledge of that. There are even some books that are irredeemable from that standpoint and it is absolutely a valid choice to refuse to read books by an author whose morals go against your own. However, not everything someone views as morally wrong is also unnuanced when presented in a text. Additionally, not every reader takes what they read at face value. Many readers appreciate a well written villain while also recognizing why that character is a villain. Many readers also appreciate flawed main characters who aren’t always correct but are allowed to make mistakes.

As bloggers we are in a position to point out the nuance in such books. Reviews are excellent for helping readers figure out whether a book will be too far over the line for their moral compass, if there’s something in the text that matters for them or not. However, we have to give readers some credit. Just like in communities that would censor and ban books, sometimes book reviews overlook nuance. They make hard lines around characters saying that something is problematic and therefore the whole text is corrupted, or misidentifying an action or a thought as a moral or ethical opinion. I am not exempt from this, there are certainly times where I draw a hard line in the sand that I refuse to cross for any book regardless of the praise it receives. But I also recognize that there are other readers who will cross that line and read certain texts and find value in them where I didn’t. I have to give those readers credit and believe that they will also be able to see the negatives of the text and not internalize or forgive those.

#bookblr #books

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back-and-totheleft · 4 years

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Oliver Stone thinks Hollywood is crazy

Beginning in 1986 with the release of his films “Salvador” and “Platoon,” Oliver Stone kicked off a decade-long run of remarkable success. Many of the controversial and stylistically brash films that he made during this era were box-office hits and established Stone, who twice won the Academy Award for best director, as a bold generational voice. While films like “Wall Street” and “Natural Born Killers” didn’t have a particularly nuanced take on the rotten amorality at our society’s core, and the treatment of the country’s self-deceptions in “Born on the Fourth of July” and “J.F.K.” wasn’t especially subtle, no one could deny that Stone’s work spoke directly to America’s dreams and nightmares. Since then, though, the director’s standing as a finger-on-the-pulse filmmaker has been gradually subsumed by the image of him as a political provocateur, thanks to his documentaries about the likes of Fidel Castro and Vladimir Putin. But it’s the long lead-up to that golden year of 1986 that is the focus of Stone’s upcoming memoir, “Chasing the Light,” in which all his questionable bravado and self-admitted insecurity are on full display. “I never wanted arguments,” Stone says. “I never wanted to provoke. I was just seeking the truth.” You’ve made a lot of movies and documentaries based on other people’s lives. Did that experience help you tell the story of your own?

Well, I thought of the book as having the structure of a novel. You set up a problem in the first chapter: The protagonist is in a box. He’s in New York City, 1976. He’s broke. He feels like a failure and has to take his whole life into account. Then the novel winds its way into the 1986 period. It’s a picaresque. It’s a bit like a Thackeray novel. Should I be reading into the fact that you’re calling your memoir a novel and referring to yourself in the third person?

You can read what you want. It is “me,” but you have to distance yourself from yourself. That’s not to say you’re fictionalizing. If I write another book, which I hope to do, it’d be nice to get closer to where I am now. I’m not there yet. Making a film to close out your life? I don’t know. There might be a way. There have been some very nice farewell films. Mr. Kurosawa did “Rhapsody in August” — a very nice and gentle film. Would you close out your life with a nice and gentle film?

You think I’m so ungentle? I don’t know if gentle is how I’d describe your sensibility.

Fair enough. But even in “Natural Born Killers,” if you look closely there’s a tenderness there between Juliette and Woody. Or the Bush movie that I did, “W.”— at the end, it’s very tender with him and Laura. I know you’ve felt marginalized by Hollywood in the past. Do you still?

I don’t think they think about me. I don’t feel bitter about it. “Savages” was my last movie in the mainstream, so to speak. I thought it was mainstream, and Universal did too, up until they distributed it. They decided to move it at the last second from fall to summer. So they put us in the middle of a schedule that was pretty tough. “Ted” was there. Remember that movie? It was hilarious. You don’t want to open against “Ted.” I do still get offered stuff, but I’m not inspired to make a movie. I don’t feel anything inside me, fire for going through that pain and misery. The last film I did was “Snowden.” It was so difficult to make. We struggled to get financing — I believe — because of the subject matter. But I’m still keeping my hand in with documentaries. I am working on two right now. One is on J.F.K. Since the film came out in 1991, there’s been quite a bit of new material revealed that people have basically ignored. It’s a hell of a story. “J.F.K.: Destiny Betrayed” is what we call it. Then I’m starting “A Bright Future,” which is about the benefits of clean energy, which includes nuclear energy. These are documentary subjects and aren’t necessarily going to be popular, but they’re important to me. Are you poking the hornet’s nest by going back to J.F.K.?

I’m not scared of that. I’m past that age. I don’t need to make a Hollywood movie. I don’t need to get the approval of the bosses.

Do you think you’ve made your last Hollywood film?

I would have no problem doing another one, but I don’t feel it right now. Frankly, I did 20, and I got worn out. You had about a 10-year period, starting with “Salvador” and “Platoon” and going up to “Natural Born Killers” or “Nixon,” when your films felt like these major statements on the country and the culture. When that zeitgeist-y period ended, which it inevitably does for artists, did it change how you approached your work?

I recognize the impact I had, but at the same time I enjoyed doing the films I did afterward. In 1999 I did “Any Given Sunday.” I get so much attention for that. “World Trade Center” was one of my most successful films financially. So the parade continued. The problem is in Hollywood. It’s just so expensive — the marketing. Everything has become too fragile, too sensitive. Hollywood now — you can’t make a film without a Covid adviser. You can’t make a film without a sensitivity counselor. It’s ridiculous. Why is that ridiculous?

The Academy changes its mind every five, 10, two months about what it’s trying to keep up with. It’s politically correct [expletive], and it’s not a world I’m anxious to run out into. I’ve never seen it quite mad like this. It’s like an “Alice in Wonderland” tea party. In what respect?

Oh, David, don’t go there. That’s going to be your headline. You know, I just read something about how films are going to be very expensive to make now, because you need to take all these precautions, and a 50-day shoot becomes a 60-day shoot, and social distancing for actors. That’s what I’m talking about.

Tell me more about your J.F.K. documentary. Is there a big revelation in it that you can share?

I would be doing an injustice to say there’s one big one. There’s no smoking gun. It’s accretion of detail, David. Please watch the film when it’s out, and write me an email when you see it, and tell me if there’s cogency in it. Does it turn out that the bullet went back and to the right?

We can make fun, but let me give you some quick points about what is in the documentary: There’s no chain of custody on the magic bullet, which is called CE-399. There’s also no chain of custody on this damn rifle, the Mannlicher-Carcano, which Lee Harvey Oswald was accused of shooting. I don’t want to go into the details, but we can’t account for who was in possession of the bullets and the rifle at various times. It’s a mess. Then we got more detail than ever showing that there was a huge back-of-the-head wound in Kennedy, which clearly indicates a shot from the front. It’s also clear that the autopsy from Bethesda, Md., was completely fraudulent. And there’s Vietnam. No historian can now honestly say that the Vietnam War was Kennedy’s child. That’s crucial. The last thing is the C.I.A. connection to Oswald. We have a stronger case, not only for post-Russia but also for pre-Russia. In other words, he was working with the C.I.A. before he went and when he came back. Those are the main points. I don’t want to criticize your paper, but if it was honest, it would be doing this work instead of just saying, “It’s all settled.”

But on some level you must know that we’ll never be able to tie up all the loose ends of the Kennedy assassination. So what do you want people to take away from your new work on this?

Those who are interested will find it’s pretty clear that J.F.K. was murdered by forces that were powerful in our government. We point the finger at a couple of individuals. But I don’t want to get into that here. Now, why do I have to do this? I’m doing the documentary for the record so that you can see for yourself what the evidence is. That’s all. We’re just finishing it and beginning to show it. It will be out. Even if it’s on YouTube. Or in Transylvania.

So many of your movies, “J.F.K.” in particular, are about presenting counterevidence to the sort of officially sanctioned grand narratives that America tells about itself. Can you think of any areas where your belief in the importance of counternarratives might have been detrimental to your own political thinking? I’m thinking here about your series of interviews with Vladimir Putin, where it seemed that you were more interested in letting him lay out contrary perspectives to the popular American view of him rather than really challenging him on anything.

I don’t think President Putin’s views from the 1999 period to the 2016 election period were ever presented honestly to the American public. The documentary is a great work of scholarship. It can be studied because he’s saying a tremendous amount that was fluffed off: “Oh, Oliver Stone is an apologist.” I’m not an apologist. I’m always probing, and that’s why he liked me to the degree that he did. He didn’t think I was a patsy. He was a very patient man. He reads. He prepares. He’s not like so many of our fool politicians, and that’s why he has lasted for 20 years. But the American press has demonized him. Even though he benefits from American destabilization and therefore tries to foment it?

I don’t think he thinks that way. I think he sees American destabilization as a dangerous thing because he thinks about the safety of the world. If anything, he would like a balance of power to exist and he would like to have a nuclear treaty with us. It’s very difficult to talk when America doesn’t talk. It hasn’t been dealing honestly with him in a long time. Putin is obviously a canny politician. What do you suspect he believed he had to gain by talking with you?

I think his intention, as he forthrightly says again and again in the documentary, was: Let’s talk. Let’s be mature. Let’s be adults in the room.

Could it have been something else maybe? There’s that term “the useful idiot.”

First of all, you should just look at the documentary.

I’ve seen it.

Where is it clear that I’m an idiot? I think it’s a very articulate dialogue. I would also point out that when we started, which was in 2014 roughly, the relationship with the United States was not as bad as it would become. Things got much worse. In 2017, we went back to him, and you have on the record what he says about Donald Trump and the American election. I don’t think Russia has the desire or the money to spend on “destabilizing” an entire election. And how can you even compare it to what we’ve done in other countries? But two evils don’t have to be equal for them to both be evil.

We’re getting too much onto Putin. That’s not in this book.

This is mostly related to the book: How present in your life is your experience in Vietnam? Is it still with you from day to day?

It doesn’t disturb me. In the book I talk about everything that I felt over there and how strange it was. Vietnam influenced my work because of my feelings about war and peace in this country and militarization and where we are now. If I can do any good in this world, it would be to pass some of that message on to younger people so that they recognize where we’re going with continued militarization. But, no, the war doesn’t personally disturb me. I’ve reached an age of acceptance. I have a meta question for you: It seems, at least at this point in time, as though your political opinions have almost overshadowed your achievements as an artist. Does it bother you to think that your willingness to get into it about politics might ultimately obscure or distort your legacy as a filmmaker?

I’ve negotiated my way, sometimes with great controversy, through life. My domain is wide. I enjoy give-and-take. I learn from people. I will continue not to run away from who I am. I’m going to own who I am.

-David Marchese, "Oliver Stone thinks Hollywood has gone crazy," The New York Times Magazine, July 10 2020 [x]

#oliver stone #The New York Times #david marchese #chasing the light #vladimir putin #jfk #a bright future #jfk: a destiny betrayed #the vietnam war #politics #hollywood #covid19

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quarterfromcanon · 4 years

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27-29 for the get to know my favorites game

Hello, lovely! Thank you for these. :) Trios turned out to be a surprising challenge (I apparently have more favorite groups of four than three), but I’m pretty happy with the ones I remembered after giving it some thought. The final picks are under the cut! <3

Top 5 BROTPs

1. Paula Proctor & Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - Naturally, this was the immediate choice that sprang to mind. It’s the first relationship on the show I really fell in love with, and it’s the one friendship in the series that consistently tugs on my heartstrings. It’s flawed, complicated, and messy but the genuine connection underneath it all is strong enough that I’m hopeful they can work through their problems. I would’ve preferred to see more emphasis on that effort in the fourth season (and a lot more work on Rebecca’s friendships with Heather and Valencia as well), but I want to believe things improved between them after the finale.

2. Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Stranger Things) - The general public opinion of Steve Harrington has been on such a journey since Season 1, bringing him now to a status of common fan favorite. As such, I think a delicate balance needed to be struck in finding a suitable match to team up with him on adventures. This person needed to:

A) Have good chemistry in their interactions with Steve

B) Bring a new dynamic to the table that he didn’t already have with an existing connection

and most importantly

C) Be a unique and engaging character that the audience would care about individually, so they didn’t get lost in simply being an offshoot of Steve’s story. They couldn’t be relegated to perpetual sidekick with little else to define them.

As far as I’m concerned, Robin Buckley fits the bill on every account. She’s artistic, resilient, loyal, and - especially endearing to me - a movie buff. She has a quick wit, a sharp mind, and a big heart. Being friends with Robin helps Steve take the specter of his high school self less seriously so he can put it behind him, and she helps him more fully embrace the person he’s becoming in the wake of that lost status. Having Steve for a friend helps Robin resolve some lingering emotional scars from school as well. It gives her an opportunity to share her authentic self with a peer and - to her relief and ours - find acceptance after revealing a pretty important secret. I can’t wait to watch the two of them be adorably nerdy and goofy bros at Family Video in Season 4, presumably with some daring fights against dark forces when they’re off the clock. Does saying I hope Kali comes to Hawkins somehow and bonds with one or both of them mean I can speak that into existence? I’m doing that now. It’s worth a try. If it happens in some capacity when the time comes, know that I will throw a One Blogger Party of epic proportions.

3. Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught (Wynonna Earp) - I had to use this specific screencap because it perfectly encapsulates the chaotic energy that makes me loves these two together so much. Their separate approaches to their shared work environment are at pretty much polar opposite ends of the spectrum, but they make a pretty solid team when they play to each other’s strengths and communicate. They also both love Waverly most of all, so it feels like they were bound to work out their differences eventually since neither would want to make her feel torn between her sister and her girlfriend. The hijinks they get up to in each other’s company are just top shelf. I look forward to at least a little bit of fun like that from every season. If I wind up having a lasting partner later on down the road, it’d be cool if their personality balanced well with my sister’s on this level. I’d also be really happy if I ultimately gelled with her person in a way that sounded unlikely at first but worked. Fingers crossed for both outcomes, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

4. Emily Thorne [Amanda Clarke] & Nolan Ross (Revenge) - I have two things to quickly clarify for those who are unfamiliar with this show.

#1 She has two listed names because she was born Amanda Clarke but goes by Emily Thorne for most of the series to hide her true identity.

#2 Despite the impression this picture may give, Nolan is not marrying Emily; he is simply walking her down the aisle.

These two are there for each other through so much - the looming threat of discovery, jail time, capture, near death experiences, heartbreak, the passing of loved ones, etc. - and they make it to the other side with a deep bond the likes of which they’ll never experience with another person. It is at times heavily one-sided because of how much drama Emily deliberately dives into, but it’s something that she tries to make up for during her more self-aware and less self-involved times. There’s genuine love and mutual respect there by the finale and it’s really gratifying to witness the journey they’ve taken together.

[~Slightly spoiler-y closing statement after these brackets~] I was pretty sure I knew where the show was going with romantic ships by the end. I knew for certain it wasn’t my personal OTP for her because they’d already killed that person off quite some time ago. There was a part of me that could’ve found some contentment in leaving the story with these two as a couple. After all, one of my favorite ship dynamics is Reluctant Acquaintances to Best Friends to Lovers, but it was not to be. That being said, the platonic friendship they shared was a big part of the heart of the show and I cherish it for that. Nolan was a rare exception for Emily, a genuine bond formed in the years when she was tried to operate like her heart was made of stone. I also think working with Emily gave Nolan a sense of purpose and let him flourish in his area of expertise. I’m not sure how either of them would feel about the musical reference but, to slightly paraphrase from Wicked: because they knew each other, they have been changed for good.

5. Penelope Stamp & Bang Bang (The Brothers Bloom) - I have seen Rachel Weisz and Rinko Kikuchi in more roles since this movie than I had prior to watching it for the first time so, if anything, my fangirling over this friendship has gotten worse rather than more manageable. x) This post classified the film under the subgenre whimsical noir. It turns out that’s a style I instantly adore every time I stumble upon it. One of the titular brothers, Stephen, lives so deeply immersed in the variations of the world he writes for their heists that even those closest to him are essentially characters he can interact with on a daily basis. His feelings for them as people can get very muddled with his feelings for them as interesting OCs to move through narratives. A big trouble with this is that his living archetypes can often get reduced to clichés. He’s not always mindful of their nuances or allowing for the full range of their autonomy. Penelope is selected by Stephen to serve as the “manic pixie dream girl” who will be his brother Bloom’s forever love and Bang Bang is essentially presented as a “dragon lady” stereotype. I haven’t done a rewatch in years so I may be giving the movie too much credit here, but I remember this choice feeling at least semi-deliberate. It could be interpreted as a way to illustrate how Stephen warps real life to fit his vision. At least, I can definitely remember scenes that felt like they debunked the one-note assessments of these two. What I genuinely love, though, are the little moments when Penelope and Bang Bang are able to just spend time together with little to no interference from Stephen or Bloom. They share their hobbies and teach each other new skills. It feels like they truly perceive one another as whole human beings on a level that neither guy is capable of doing since they’re both so immersed in the drama of the plot. When the women are with each other, they get to be more than an extension of the men who maneuver them; they get to be themselves. Penelope is the only one Bang Bang clearly wants to maintain contact with once the heist is finished. I think that says a lot. Honestly, this is another BROTP that could slide to OTP. If someone wrote fic of them completely severing ties with the brothers and going off on their own - romantically or platonically - I wouldn’t be upset at all.

Top 5 Trios

1. Luke, Leia, & Han (Star Wars Episodes IV - VI) - Oh dear, I’m overwhelmed just looking at a picture of them together. Star Wars has been a part of my life since childhood. Getting to watch the original trilogy felt like a rite of passage (when I was really little, Mom used to find things for us to do outside the room while Dad watched because she was afraid some of it might scare me). Princess Leia resounded with me on a level that almost no other fictional royalty has ever quite matched. Han’s wardrobe is still some serious #aestheticgoals and I would 100% wear replicas of his jackets and vests if I had them. I also remember thinking that Luke’s new look in Return of the Jedi was SO COOL with the all-black wardrobe and green lightsaber. Wow, imagine that, an edgy costume change that shared vibes with the common Disney villain color palette called to me as a baby fan of antagonists and antiheroes! Who ever could have foreseen that sudden spike in appreciation? :P Anyway, one of my lingering sorrows about the more recent trilogy is that we never got to see all three of them as aged adults in each other’s company. I still wanted our new cast to get their time to shine, of course, but I do lament the absence of at least one little trio reunion.

2. Luna, Neville, & Ginny (Harry Potter series) - The Silver Trio, pictured here with the first set of three that comes to mind when thinking about the books and movies. I do still love Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but I’ve found a growing appreciation for this other team-up over the years. They’ve been through a lot too, even if they are not always present where the main action is. Bullying, loss of parents, manipulation of the mind and body, abuse at the hands of authority figures - they’re all left with internal (and probably external) scars to bear. There’s also something to be said for how strong they all were in the school year set during Deathly Hallows, when the Golden Trio wasn’t around to inspire and unite those who wanted to stand up to ever-increasing tyranny. It can be easy, unfortunately, for them to get written off based on the oversimplified stereotypes that have gotten associated with them. People remember Luna as being weird and spacey, Neville as awkward and hapless, and Ginny as bland and lovestruck. They’re all far more nuanced than that, and they accomplish great things while fighting for and beside their friends. I’m planning on doing a re-read of the books at some point, and I really look forward to revisiting these brave kids.

3. Irma, Marion, & Miranda (Picnic at Hanging Rock) - Ah, yes, my very recently discovered darlings. I have many thoughts about them all. I’ll try to keep this as condensed as I can while still making sense. Some spoilers will follow, although those won’t answer every question the story poses. There are audience members who ship the above characters as a throuple, which I totally get, but for me it’s like soulmates of a different kind. These three have met at a point in their lives when they all burn with compatible intensity. They long for the same dream version of youth, for a way to begin life free from the confines of a world that won’t accept all their hearts contain. While the people that surround them may not be willing to bend the rules, nature itself appears to show them mercy. How often do we see a story of girls who just... love other women so much that a sacred location goes, “Y’know what? I’m gonna help you escape your restrictive society. Permanently.” This miniseries definitely depicts the setting as being involved in messing with the investigation, as a mystical place that befuddles unwanted intruders. I love the way these three fortify each other in times of pain and fear, and there’s something deeply moving about how standing side-by-side helps them defy the odds.

4. Sarah, Alison, & Cosima (Orphan Black) - Okay so, technically, when I picture our core team in this show, the net is a little wider. My mind tends to also include Felix, Mrs. S., Kira, Helena, Donnie, Delphine, and Scott. However, I think you could kinda argue that those characters have a stronger connection to one of the above three than they do to the other two. Thus, this ends up being the central triangle. They’re all such solid performances and the fact they’re all played by the same person is incredibly impressive (not to mention the, like, twelve other clones Tatiana brings to life throughout the series). Watching them go from tense strangers to sestras was wonderful. I’m glad they had each other through the increasingly complicated web of lies and schemes they had to unravel and survive.

5. Galavant, Sid, & Isabella (Galavant) - Remember how James Marsden was in Enchanted? If you dialed down the deliberately cartoonish quality of that performance and allowed for more not-so-G-rated humor, I feel like you’d have a general sense of what Galavant is like as a character. Sid is his squire and Isabella is a princess whose mission happens to combine with Galavant’s, albeit fueled by different driving motivations. They find themselves involved in a lot of shenanigans because of Galavant - even in his own universe, he’s into the whole dashing knight thing more than is strictly necessary - but they make a fun little team to follow through the world of this musical television series. I’ve gotten fuzzy on the details since I watched it air live four years ago, but I remember the series being enough of a summer feel-good time that I’d be game to revisit the show again someday.

Top 5 Family Relationships

1. Stevie Budd & The Roses (Schitt’s Creek) - The whole fish-out-of-water setup for this series was already pretty fun in and of itself, especially given how outlandish their lifestyles evidently were before the show begins. The thing that makes it special, though, is how the absence of all their expensive distractions finally helps them prioritize being a family. The Roses do a lot of work to reconcile who they were with who they find themselves becoming in the present. It’s sweet to see them collectively conclude that growing closer to each other is one of the few things they do not regret in the slightest. They also silently agree to adopt Stevie along the way and, boy, does that give me a lot of Big Feelings, particularly in the later seasons.

2. River Song & The Ponds (Doctor Who) - I think it’s been like seven years or so, give or take, since I watched Doctor Who with any regularity. These three have resurfaced in my mind many times since then. They all love with such fierce and unwavering devotion, spanning lifetimes. It’s fascinating - and often heartbreaking - to learn about the things they’ve experienced and endured. Oh gosh, and once the show reveals how River’s story overlaps with theirs, and you pay attention to how she looks at them, IT HURTS but it’s so engaging to watch. The emotions are all flooding back just remembering them now. Argh, what great characters... </3

3. The Tico Sisters (Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi) - Rose appears in two installments of the third trilogy, but this is the episode that has both Tico daughters. We never get to see them interact onscreen in the film, but I still feel the bond between these sisters so intensely. I found out later that Kelly was present for the filming of Paige’s death scene (which happens so early in the movie that it doesn’t feel like a big spoiler - please forgive me if it is). I’m glad that was something they decided to do behind-the-scenes, because it definitely informs Rose’s grief. She’s sitting in the dark, picturing her big sister’s final moments with such horribly vivid detail that it feels like she was there, and yet she can’t do anything to change how it ends. The shape of the sisters’ necklaces immediately establishes that they were a unit even when acting independently, that they felt like two halves of a whole - all they had left of their family. Now there is only one, and that fact is a weight around Rose’s neck both figuratively and literally. It serves as a visual reminder of how she carries Paige’s absence always, trying to discover and embrace who she is on her own while still honoring the memory of a relative she loved so deeply. I think she reaches the end of Episode VIII feeling like she’s someone of whom her sister would be quite proud. I’m very proud of her, too.

4. The Tyler Siblings (Wonderfalls) - Jaye is comically different than the rest of her family, and the show establishes that right out the gate when we learn that she’s the only one whose name doesn’t rhyme with the rest (left to right, the others are Karen, Sharon, Darrin, and Aaron, respectively). Her relationships with her parents could certainly lead me off on some analytical tangents but, predictably, it’s the sibling stuff that interests me more. I think it could be said that all three do more living inside their heads than they do out in the world, and that they’ve all grown up to be borderline loners (Ironically Jaye, who is considered the most troubled, is the only one I remember being shown to have formed and maintained a friendship). Aaron’s a very philosophical and analytical person, so you get the sense he talks to himself more than to others, although he still manages to resurface from those deep contemplations so he can goad and tease his sisters from time to time. Sharon is high-strung, competitive, and brings that “disaster lesbian” energy to basically every social interaction she has. Jaye’s standoffishness seems to stem from both the difficulty of fitting in with people and the fear that connections will fall apart once they manage to form at all. They’re all just messes trying to make the best out of the situations they face, and I appreciate that. I also enjoy how prominently the Jaye and Sharon sister bond features throughout the show’s only season. It starts out on pretty rocky ground, but they grow a lot in regard to how willing they are to communicate and express their love for one another.

5. The Brothers Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - The family dynamics in their house are in need of some serious work, without a doubt. I’m just really touched by how close these two have become without Paula’s notice. It’s possible they always were, in that we-fight-but-we-care way that siblings can often be, but the supportive side of that really moves to the forefront as they get older in the series and it warms my heart. There’s such a glaring difference between The Household As Paula Views It and Things That Are Happening While She’s Not Paying Attention. I can’t help using fic as a way to explore that. I happily find excuses for her sons to make pop-in appearances, just to check up on them. I'm so pleased that, as of Season 4, they seem to have become fairly well-adjusted in spite of everything. Oh, and I am still not over the revelation that they attend renaissance festivals together, in character, for fun. What precious cuties who would no doubt dislike me referring to them as such! Paula, please give them an extra hug from me!

#About Me #Answered Asks

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tisthenightofthewitch · 5 years

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GHOST'S TOBIAS FORGE ON FILM PLANS, COPIA'S FUTURE, "DARKER, HEAVIER" NEXT ALBUM

Bandleader also talks Metallica, Mercyful Fate, why a Ghost biopic would be "like premature ejaculation"

The Gospel of Cardinal Copia began barely a year ago, his birth as the new frontman of Ghost neither virginal nor particularly miraculous. But there he stands, a religious man of style and mystery: left eye icy blue and blazing, dressed in fine liturgical threads, leading a band of Nameless Ghouls in silver masks through songs of plague and vermin, love and death.

In the eleven months since the beatific release of Ghost's epic fourth album, Prequelle, much has happened in the world of this wildly theatrical metal act from Sweden. The first of these events was the reveal of Tobias Forge as the living, breathing mastermind behind the masks and papal vestments. Though he's never explicitly stated as such, it's widely understood that it's been Forge all along behind the mic, disguised in corpse paint and/or latex masks, first as a series of consecutive demonic popes called Papa Emeritus (Nos. I-III), before reemerging in 2018 as the grimly debonair Cardi Copia.

Prequelle was a medieval concept album that became a hit, spreading the word of Ghost to a growing congregation, in the U.S. reaching No. 3 on the Billboard album chart, and the Top 10 across most of Europe. An American tour filled theaters and last year delivered Ghost to select arenas in Los Angeles, New York and Montreal. It was all a preamble to Ghost's upcoming Ultimate Tour Named Death, a true arena tour of North America, where the band will deliver a fully realized, theatrical rock show of stained glass and fireballs this fall, beginning Sept. 13th in Bakersfield. (Ghost is also openingfor Metallica this summer on a "WorldWired" European stadium tour.)

"For some reason and luckily for me, I have never really crumbled in front of challenges — maybe going to the dentist," Forge tells Revolver. "I've always got a kick out of doing challenging things. More than anything, it just forces me to go further."

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As a lifelong devotee of Queen and Kiss, Forge is a true believer in the power of rock's epic sweep. Taking Ghost to its fullest potential as operatic spectacle is the ultimate fantasy-come-true for Forge, who birthed the band with few expectations a decade ago with a trio of satanic metal tracks.

"There were definitely moments where I had to walk into the arena in the morning and pinch myself a little bit: All these trucks are ours? All this is just for us?" Forge says of his experiences at the handful of headline arena shows Ghost performed last year in America. "I've always wanted to do this since I was a child. I've envisioned it so many times that I don't know really where the dream ended and it sort of went into reality."

Out of costume and out of character, Forge is a friendly and contemplative figure, a seemingly humble rocker and family man behind Ghost's larger than life image. And there is much still to be done as he heads into this final leg of Ghost's Prequelle cycle. To accompany the tour, he's just completed a new series of online video "webisodes" that dive deeper into the mystery of Copia through Gothic intrigue and comedy.

"There are a few episodes coming in the future that might bring some clarity as to who this fucker is," Forge says of Copia, without offering details. "My hope is that he gets to become Papa Emeritus IV. That is the goal. It just takes time and it takes effort. And that is what he's proving now."

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The videos are an essential part of the band's mythology, and now Forge is close to realizing his ambition to create the first feature-length Ghost movie. If all goes well, the film will be shot before the end of the year.

"If it wasn't for the fact that I ended up finally being a musician, the one thing I really, really want to do in my life is cinema," Forge says. "Any chance I can have to do that, I'm definitely grabbing it."

There had been discussions about this over the years. As an especially visual band, with its own cavalcade of insane characters, the potential was obvious, but things often got stuck on the form a movie might take. "Most films about bands are biographical, and I see no reason to tell our story yet," says Forge, who still considers Ghost to be in its early years. "It's a little bit like premature ejaculation. You have to have a career first and then you can tell the real story, so that was never an option. And when you yank away that, what do you have? Well, that would be a fictional story."

He's confident that the story of the film has now been figured out, and would partly take place around a live concert. Figuring out the location, budget, etc. will make all the difference.

"The cog wheels are turning on that one," he says. "We're just trying to figure out a lot of the practicalities. Making a film is a big endeavor. Another problem that I have had over the course of my career is that I don't have a shit-ton of time. I am also a father of two kids and I'm married. I try to not to break my back. I've been so close so many times to overworking and I said yes to everything just because I was so keen on not losing momentum. I've learned over the years that it's really important not to do everything at once."

Beyond the film and the final leg of this tour, Forge is contemplating what comes next when he returns to the studio in 2020 to begin work on a new Ghost album. He's leaning toward a harder, riffier sound this time. He'll start in January and finish that summer.

"I want to make a different record from Prequelle. I want it to feel different," says Forge, being careful with his words to avoid misleading fans. "If I dare to say heavier, people think that it's going to be Mercyful Fate all the way ... but I definitely have a darker, heavier record in mind."

Prequelle, he says now, was "a little ballad heavy." The next one will lean more in the imposing direction of 2015's Meliora without repeating the same ideas. He's worked to make each album different, starting with 2010's gloomy, metallic debut, Opus Eponymous.

While the sound and message of Ghost remains rooted in the initial ideas he first had when he wrote the riff to "Stand by Him" as a mostly unknown metal player in Sweden, years before first trying on the pope attire. He's also made a point of evolving as a lyricist.

"I have always pushed myself to write the songs that we don't have instead of going back — it maybe would've been a smart move to just try to replicate Opus," he explains. "I can regurgitate. I grew up with metal. It's in my DNA, so I can formulate death-metal lyrics easily. But I try not to repeat myself on that.

"I like to make the Metallica comparison — where Kill 'Em All is a little bit more crude, on Ride the Lightning they started writing about more real things. It had more depth," he adds. "I'm not going change everything and just talk about politics, but I believe that if you have people's attention, you have responsibility to weigh with your words a little. Sometimes that is hard. I find that harder than the musical challenges."

Even so, the unexpected opportunity to take his vision of Ghost to ever larger scope across multiple albums and now onstage at arena-scale is a challenge he welcomes.

"I try to remind myself every day that it's pretty mind-blowing that we got to this spot. You need to try to appreciate 100 percent and do the best every day and nurture," Forge says, then adds with a laugh, "At the risk of sounding a little religious, this is a gift that you've been given."

All rights owned by Revolver Magazine

#The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia #Tobias Forge

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murderwasthecase · 6 years

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Showcasing Marvel’s Daredevil - The Crown Jewel of MCU

Quick rant about the situation

So this shit just happened and of course I wanted to say something. Daredevil has been CANCELLED by Netflix. Honestly, if you follow this kinda stuff, I think you all saw it coming after they did the same thing to Iron Fist and Luke Cage, but this shit hurts because the show’s third season which was, in my opinion, maybe the best one yet still hasn’t cooled off, people are still talking about it, it received many praise from critics and audiences alike, and it just came off as a really cold thing to cancel the show now especially if you’re a fan of the series.

There are already millions of videos and essays on what this kind of Thanos-snapping his fingers action that Netflix just did with Marvel’s heroes could mean and I will not talk about them in this particular piece. Instead, I’m gonna pay a tribute to the show by going through some of my favorite moments of the three seasons that we got. We definitely deserved a few more and as of now it could theoretically happen on some other network, but the Netflix era of Daredevil is over and during that time, it made it the best superhero tv show that was ever created and probably the best thing to ever come out of MCU alongside Infinity War. And now you’ll see why. By the way, the idea is to showcase the genius of the series through some of its best scenes so if you haven’t seen it, you are warned.

Writer’s room of Daredevil has blessed the MCU with some of its richest characters. Their actions are well-thought, striking and every one of them has some kind of dilemma going on in their heads which makes them more human and more interesting for the viewer. They have personal demons and individual values which are fleshed out to the maximum. That characteristic just brings those fictional people closer to the audience, resonating with their own lives. While MCU’s movie characters are more concerned with battling aliens and saving the planet, ones in Daredevil fight the battles of the ordinary people.

The drama in Daredevil is mainly based around the clashes of polar opposites in the lives of its main characters. The best example of this is, of course, Matthew (brilliant Charlie Cox), whose ever-lasting moral fight with his Catholic faith and God is one of the running themes of the show. The crescendo of it comes in the series’ third season when Matt, much more pessimistic than before, considers taking another man’s life which he earlier swore never to do, running away from the fundamental principles of his religion which earlier guided him through his vigilante mission.

While the aforementioned third season takes that battle inside the mind of Matt Murdock, in the previous one, we can see that fight literally taking place with another person. Enter Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, played by the amazing badass that is Jon Bernthal, who does the same thing as Daredevil, except he TAKES lives because of his beliefs. Psychological clash between these two broken men takes it’s heights in the third episode of the show’s second season, where Daredevil confronts Frank Castle and tries to reason with him, eventually planting the seeds for clash in his own head a season after that.

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That is exceptional writing and phenomenal acting right there. Even though I think the second season of Daredevil is the least good one from all of them because of the tiring ninja subplot, the Punisher arc is one of the strongest things that happened in these series. That’s another polar opposite for you.

Dialogues like that are one fantastic way to flesh out characters and their essence, to show us who they are and what goes on in their heads. Daredevil isn’t overcrowded with quips and sarcastic insults like the movies are, the time it’s not wasted on melodramatic, soap-opera style love triangles which occur in the CW shows. Compared to them and even to other Netflix superhero TV series, Daredevil brings a deeper meaning to its characters by including philosophical arguments that connect us to their dilemmas, layering the story in the process. For instance, take a look at this scene (can’t embed it because of Tumblr) from season 1, when father Lantom tries to answer Matthew’s question about the existence of Devil.

Have you heard the last question in that clip? This scene not only brings a thought-provoking anecdote to the table - it’s much more than that. It serves as a great MOTIVATION for the main character to link the speech to his real-life situation, to try and stop the evil, even if its power seems impossible. This is superhero mythology at its finest.

And it works for antiheroes as well. Like the situation from season two, where Punisher refuses to deny his radical beliefs, taking a piss on the whole judicial system in the process, packed with another great Jon Bernthal performance.

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Talking about great acting, it would be a sin not to showcase the ability of Vincent D’Onofrio who gives a role of his career as the main villain Wilson Fisk, the pinnacle of excellent writing on this show.

His portrayal of this crime lord is so menacing. D’Onofrio plays Fisk who with his posture and gestures reminds you more of a shy child than a criminal mastermind, but he’s at the same time almost harrowingly dominant and explosive. This makes for an extremely unpredictable villian who is layered, complex and whose character development is, as a result, ever-lasting. Just watch as he transforms the scene by delivering this great analogy about the good samaritan.

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To all you aspiring writers, actors and directors who want to work in the superhero medium - take notes.

When talking about Daredevil I obviously have to talk about action scenes. I would argue that Marvel’s Daredevil is probably the best action series of all time considering how it balances good writing and exhilarating fighting sequences, but I’ll let someone more experienced to prove that hypothesis.

The action in Daredevil has reached almost a mythical point by now, with fans making memes about their duration and ridiculously coordinated and well-executed stuntwork and camera work. Hallway fights have become a norm on the show and there are lots of good YouTube videos that analyse them so I won’t get in detail here and dissect them even though that would be fun - I will rather point out the one geeky detail about them which is key to why the most talked about action scenes in Daredevil are so good.

You know what was my all-time favorite action scene on tv for a long time? Let’s take you back to the first season of True Detective, precisely, to the end of fourth episode, when Rust Cohle infiltrates this biker gang and goes on a mission to the hood with them - just to blow his cover and capture their leader. This is one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen in tv series, ever. Director Cary Fukunaga decided to film this as a TRACKING SHOT.

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By placing the camera directly behind Matthew McConaughey’s back he placed US in the perspective, almost creating a 3D, video-game like environment in which we get close to the situation as much as possible. Doing this, he creates tension, the feel of urgency and danger which resonates with audience and makes everything more interesting. That raid scene was six minutes long without visible cuts or edits. Fukunaga used a long take which made episode end on the high note. In my opinion, this is how grounded action should be made. It has to communicate with viewer, it enhances the atmosphere.

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When I saw something similar in the hallway fight in Daredevil’s first season, I was hyped. It wasn’t exactly that as we watched everything from the hall, not from “behind Matt’s back” perspective, but it reminded me vividly of Fukunaga’s take. And in the second season, when they filmed the Staircase scene, they used that exact method which they pushed it to the limits in the prison sequence in the third season which is as of right now definitely my favorite action scene in any tv series, of all time, period. And another thing which is mind-boggling is how they make it longer every season. Hallway fight from the first season was three minutes long, Staircase was five minutes, while Prison was around eight. All in single take. By that, you can see how the cast and crew tried harder and harder every season, pushing the boundaries of not only superhero genre, but the tv series making in general. Do you know how hard it is to film something like those scenes? You can look it up online, it’s an extremely difficult work.

DAREDEVIL has created a perfect mixture of drama and superhero crime story, presenting us a gritty world of crime-ridden New York. Of course, as everything, it has a few problems here and there, but it’s by far the most mature thing to come out of MCU. I don’t know who’s really responsible for the cancellation, is it Disney or Netflix or both of them, but I hope they’ll realize what stupid move they’ve made and let the cast and crew continue their magic. Because if not, our dear MCU has just lost one of its crown jewels.

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awake-and-strange · 5 years

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This obituary by Janis Ian about Anne McCaffrey is very A Passion for Friends:

There've been so many mentions of Anne McCaffrey in the post below, I thought to post this homage I wrote for Locus Magazine when Annie died. I miss her, a lot. I kept a few of the most precious books she gave me, but last time I opened one I burst into tears... I feel fortunate to have loved someone so wonderful, to have been loved in return, and to miss her this much. From Locus Magazine: THE MASTERHARPER IS GONE "I have a shIelf of comfort books, which I read when the world closes in on me or something untoward happens." —Anne McCaffrey I miss her fiercely, more than I have any right to miss her. I remind myself of this whenever I run into her at the library and am stricken with tears. She was not kin, was not connected to me by family ties, not even a distant cousin. Not even Jewish. I have no right to miss her this much. And once in a while, when I chide myself for my silly sentimentality, the sudden lightning that pierces my heart gives way to a duller, deeper pain. One I can live with, perhaps. Like today, waking to a terrible cold, with headache and foggy brain I reach for solace. Put on my red flannel comfort shirt, add my favorite PJ bottoms, then a pair of fleece-lined slippers. Make my favorite tea, cover myself with an old patchwork quilt, and reach blindly for a book on my “comfort shelf.” Of course. I can’t escape her. Hours later, still miserable, I finish "All the Weyrs of Pern" for the umpteenth time, and scold myself for the tears that fall – first, because she is gone, and second, because I never really succeeded in telling her just how much she meant to me. I’d never heard of her when I stumbled across for "The Ship Who Sang" at my local library. I wrote to her, saying that it had moved me profoundly, wondering how a prose writer could have such a clear understanding of a musician’s soul. Being one myself, I said, a musician that is, and would like to send a copy of my last record in gratitude. She responded with a laugh that she had never heard of me but oh my, her children had, and could we trade books for recordings? And so, we began. I raced through everything she sent – such generosity, so much that it took two large boxes to ship it all. She, in turn, told me that while she appreciated the beauty of my “Jesse” and the clarity of “At 17”, she was writing her current novel to the beat of my one disco hit, “Fly Too High.” I laughed aloud because it made an artist’s sense to me – dragons flew, and Anne flew with them, regardless of the beat. It was the third or fourth email that she began with the salutation “Dear Petal,”. Petal. Me? I responded that of all the things I’d been called, no one had ever dreamed to name me “Petal”. She answered briskly that obviously, they’d never seen me bloom. From that day forward, I was her Petal, and she my Orchid. We corresponded ferociously, both all-or-nothing no-holds-barred types, Aries to the hilt. Weekly, daily, sometimes hourly. Dropped out at times when one of us was “on tour”, came back to it as we could. The time passed. Her beloved agent died. My parents passed away. She got a scathing review; I sent a few of my own. She was stuck on a chapter, I was stuck on a verse. We got unstuck, stuck again, and through it all we talked, comforting one another as only a “good hot cuppa” can. She picked me up herself in Dublin, leaning on a cane, nervous to meet in the flesh until I ran into her arms and smothered her with hugs. She drove between the hedgerows with complete abandon, a total disregard for ruts or speed limits, while I clutched the seat and wondered who’d get the bigger headline if we crashed. Annie, I decided, for she was truly a two-column, bold print kind of gal. By then, she was always “Annie” to me, or “Annie Mac”. My larger than life friend, who consorted daily with dragons and starlight, her own luster never dimming beside them. Once, after she showed me the rock cliffs of the Guiness Estate and explained that Benden Hold looked just like that, she asked if I would write a theme for it. For the movie? I said. “Yes”, she said, “A theme. Because if Menolly came to life, it would be with your voice.” I say this not to brag, but to indicate the trust between us – such trust that when I got home, with no film in sight, I began sketching out some notes for “Lessa’s Song”. I wanted it to be haunting, the way her words haunted me. I wanted it to be sweeping, like the thrust of dragon wings. I wanted it to be everything I could bring to her, a gift for someone whose words took me out of my world and into hers. As she said herself, “That’s what writing is all about, after all, making others see what you have put down on the page and believing that it does, or could, exist and you want to go there.” I hope someday to finish that melody. I hope it’s good enough for a MasterHarper to sing. I hope she regarded me worthy of the title. Because that’s what she was for so many of us – the MasterHarper, singing in prose, songs that reminded us of where we’d been, and what we could become. She came and stayed with us in Nashville, bringing a broken shoulder and trusting me to care for her. We visited Andre Norton, Annie insisting I not just drive but sit with them and listen to “a bit of gossip”. These two women—one writing at a time when pseudonyms were necessary for a woman to get published, the other cracking the New York Times bestseller list with, of all things, a science fiction book, and by a female at that!—talked of publishers, rumors, scandals old and new, while I sat as silent as an unopened book, wishing I’d thought to bring a tape recorder. At first, as her health declined, she bore it cheerfully. “I’m bionic now, Petal, complete with metal knees!” she declared. “Better than ever, and no pain.” She kept to her writing schedule, doing what she could to help her body retain its youth. Swam every day, bragged about her granddaughter’s accomplishments at school – “First prize, don’tcha know!” and commiserated over our various surgeries. We sound like a couple of old Yiddishe mamas, comparing whose surgery was worse! I laughed, and she laughed along with me. Neither of us reckoned on the psychic toll. “Old age is not for the faint of heart,” she quoted, as her energy began to leech away. How is it we artists always forget just how hard it is to write? how much work it is? How can we ignore the vast psychic drain that accompanies every act of creation? We both knew it from her Pern books, when going between enervated even the hardiest of dragon riders. But somehow, we never expected it in “real” life. It’s only when we lose that effervescence, through age, through illness, through sheer attrition, that we realize how necessary it is to our work. How fundamental to our beings. “I can’t write.” She confessed the shameful secret to me not once, but dozens of times, as if repetition would prove it a lie. At first, playing the friend, I tried to reassure her. Then don’t! Take some time off, Annie. Restore your body, and the brain will follow. Talent doesn’t just disappear, you know – it lies in wait. But she knew better. “I'm still not writing. I think I know how Andre Norton is feeling, too, because I suspect that she's finding it very difficult to write, as the wellspring and flexibility that did us so much service is drying up in our old age. And no false flattery. AT 76 I AM old, and she's in her nineties. It takes a lot of energy to write, as much as it takes you to keep on adding flavor to your song presentation. Sorry to blah at you but you're one of the few people who does understand the matter when an artist questions their output.” I responded in kind. "No worries talking to me about not writing... I sure as hell know the amount of energy it consumes. Every time you sit down to write, it's a performance. Only you don't have the luxury of props - no lights, sound, other actors to step behind when the inevitable fatigue hits. Heck, Annie, I'm feeling it more and more now, and you've got a quarter century on me. I notice it mid-show; two hours used to be a piece of cake. Now I feel myself flagging at 45 minutes, and I really look forward to that 20 minute intermission, if only so I can have some water and sit for a few minutes. "Same with writing, for me. Used to be able to sit and write for 6 hours at a stretch. Now I'm good for two if I'm lucky. Part of it's my back, but most of it is - I fear - just that I'm older. It sucks." And she wrote back. “Must write. There are IRS problems. You wouldn’t believe. Mouths to feed, people depending on. Advances already spent and gone. Must write.” And so, she wrote, but for a while there was no joy in it. Still, I loved what she wrote, and told her so. I was proud of our friendship, not because she was so damned famous, but because she was so damned good. She even used my name in a book – Ladyholder Janissian in Skies of Pern – and roared with laughter when I admitted I’d been so wrapped up in the story that I hadn’t even noticed. But she knew – as artists always do – that while her ability to plot continued apace, the actual writing of it was becoming an endurance contest she couldn’t hope to win. “Turn more of it over to Todd,” I argued. Her son had a real knack for a sentence, but it was hard for Annie to let go. Of course. What artist can? “His words may not sing the way yours do – yet. He doesn’t have your lyrical grace – yet. But he will, Annie, you’ve just got to let him breathe!” I said it and said it and said it, to no avail. Then came a day when, 25 years younger and an ocean away, I finally lost patience and angrily berated her. “Damnit Annie, quit complaining and just stop! By God, you have created a mountain of work, an incredible legacy that will endure and be read by zillions of people long after both of us are gone – so quit whining about what you cannot do and start looking at what you have done. It’s time, Anne. Take this unbearable weight off your shoulders and stop!” I sent the email off and waited for her response, fearing I’d gone too far. A day. Then another. Finally, sure I’d lost a friend, I called to ask just how angry she was with me. Oh, no, not at all, she’s “in hospital.” She took a fall. She’d write soon. And she did, quoting me and saying “I knew you, of all people, would make sense.” A sweeter absolution I’ve never had. We continued our friendship, bitching about our bodies, menopause, the inevitable “drying up” of everything that comes with the feminine mystique. You cannot imagine the luxury, for me, to have a compatriot a quarter-century older. As an artist, I admired her work. But as a woman, I was relieved to have someone relentlessly honest about what was to come in my own life. We traded constantly. I sent her Lhasa de Sela, Sara Bettens. She sent stories about her animals, and the garden. One spring she changed my salutation to “Dear Crocus Petal – there are eight coming up now!” We planned to visit Prague together in September ’01, but then came 9/11, and I chickened out. To be brutally honest, I was afraid to fly. Annie gently took me to task, then went off with someone else instead. I will regret that for the rest of my life. She went into the hospital for the last time while I was touring the UK – just a ferry boat and an ocean of commitments away. Knowing how out of touch she’d feel, how fretful she’d be, I tried to call every day. We fell into a pattern – I’d wait until I was in the van, then phone her up and tell an off color joke, a bawdy story, a bit of kindly gossip. Sometimes about people we knew in common, Harlan perhaps, or Scott Card, whose work she admired. Sometimes just a silly series of puns I’d found on line. Whatever it was, I wanted to make her laugh, because I loved to hear her laugh. She died while I was on vacation, just days after the tour’s end. I’d brought a copy of Dragonsinger with me because on vacation, I always brought a few “comfort re-reads.” I’d fallen asleep over it, waking to an email from Gigi. Please keep it quiet until I can reach everyone, she asked. My older brother Alec is still in flight, and we don’t want him seeing it in the paper before I can reach him. I called with sleep still in my eyes and heard the hum of people behind Gigi’s answering voice. It was fast, it was painless, it was everything Annie had wanted. No lingering. A “good death” for her. But not for me. It’s hard to open my computer knowing there will be no “Dear Petal.” It’s hard, after knowing such a warm and giving shelter, to go without. Sometimes I run across a sentence that sings to me, and jot it down to show her. And sometimes, when she leaps out at me from the cover of a book, I remember she is gone, and it hits me like lightning, fast and lethal and completely unexpected. It stops my breath, until I remind myself that she is gone, but I am still here. When the lightning hits, I comfort myself with this. The beauty of Anne’s writing is that she makes it all seem, not just possible, but normal. For men to go dragonback. For women to become ships. For young, unwanted girls to become MasterHarpers. For brains to pair with brawns, and sing opera under alien skies. And for an unlikely friendship to bloom, a pairing no one could have imagined, between a petal on earth, and an orchid in flight.

#a passion for friends #janis ian #anne mccaffrey #petal and orchid

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bookenders · 5 years

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11/11/11 Tag Game: Round... uh... 5, 6, & 7?

I got tagged by a bunch of people ( @quilloftheclouds is this how your 77 question one felt??) so here are a bunch of answers! I think this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself in my life.

Good gracious, you’re all so nice and have such good questions.

Tagged by: @surroundedbypearls, @waterfallwritings, @bigmoodword, @sundaynightnovels

Rules: answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, give them 11 new questions!

[I’ve done this enough to be able to break the tag rules. Fight me.]

44 questions and answers below the cut!

But I’ll be nice and put my questions right here:

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

When do you title your WIPs? It is the first thing you do? The last? Does it come to you during drafting?

How many inside jokes do you put in your WIP(s)?

Your WIP’s antagonist is now The Riddler. How do your OCs handle that?

Do you use sticky notes?

Laptop or desktop?

Your OC is a wrestler. What’s their hype music?

Do you own any craft books/books on writing?

What’s your favorite book cover?

How many unread books do you have sitting around right now? Which are you most excited to maybe get to eventually some time?

How committed are you to your outline(s)?

Bilbo Taggins: Literally anyone, but also @francestroublr, @sahados-shadow, @a-story-im-writing, @bethkerring, @citruschickadee, @bos-ingit

If I’ve tagged you before, you can totally ignore this. In fact, I encourage you to.

From @surroundedbypearls:

What’s your favourite genre to write in and why? Literary fiction! It’s what I learned in university and the one that fits my themes best. Sci-fi is hard, I’m just getting into writing fantasy stuff, I can’t do thrillers, romance is hard for me, and historical is too much work.

Do you think you have a style/voice that you use more often in your writing? When did you develop that style? If you’ve read one of my stories, you know exactly how my writing voice sounds. It doesn’t change too much. I write like I talk, but if I had a lot more gravitas and charisma. Honestly, I’ve always had that kind of style, but it really developed in high school. It’s been getting stronger since then. It’s one of the things I always got comments about from my teachers and fellow workshop writers. “Your voice is so strong!” Yep. It’s mah thang.

Do you play video games? What’s your favourite? YES I DO. It’s hard to pick faves, but I’ve played Dragon Age: Origins too many times.

If you were going to do a WIP crossover, which OCs would be most interesting together? (If you’ve only got one WIP crossover with something else) A crossover between H2H and AOPC? Interesting. I think Mel and Keema would get along the best, Oz would have some fightin’ words for Elder Sanga, and Gemma and Teva would be a force to be reckoned with, my god. Two stubborn nerds who believe totally different things but are also very determined to be very good at what they want to do and love their communities to a fault? Fear them.

Do you prefer to plan WIPs in a document or through handwritten notes? I used to do it by hand but I couldn’t read it because my handwriting is terrible and I kept losing papers. I do it in docs now. Much easier to organize and incredibly legible.

Do you multiple languages exist in your WIP? If so how do you address that in the story? H2H is set in the “real world,” so yep. It hasn’t been addressed too much yet, but I have a way for tackling languages. I’ve written multilingual-ish stories before. I never write phonetically and use hella context clues so the reader knows the gist of what was said if another character doesn’t translate.

What’s your favourite animated film that’s not Disney or Pixar? AN AMERICAN TAIL. All of them. It’s on Netflix go watch it and marvel at the way a kids movie talks about Jewish immigration, poverty, and cultural oppression via mice. As a young Jewish child, this movie was my jam. It’s very dark, though.

Do your real-life surroundings influence your WIP’s settings? Nope! One time I tried to write a story set in the same area where I lived and I couldn’t do it. Too weird. Sometimes I’ll write in an item I see near me, or like, a painting or poster on the wall if I need some set decoration, but that’s about it.

Which OCs would be most likely to break the fourth wall? Oz. Lookin’ at the camera like he’s in The Office.

How do you work out your OCs’ personalities? Hm. I look at the story I’m trying to write and make a protagonist that would have the most interesting experience in that narrative. For H2H, I wanted someone who would be loyal as heck to the people they loved while still being experimental enough to try new things and get into shenanigans. The story called for someone like that, and there she was. Mel came about my thinking of someone who would compliment other characters in the story while still being their own person. If that makes sense. I think of dynamics and interactions with the story world in relation to the theme(s). Most of the time they just happen, though.

Do you prefer worldbuilding or character building? Character building! As much as I like making stories about places, making characters is more fun for me, and more interesting. You should see all the DnD character sheets I have.

From @waterfallwritings:

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

At random. Seriously. It’s like my brain has to be running something in the background to function normally, and usually that something is whatever story I happen to be working on. Or I’ll look at a thing and go “huh.” My brain also likes to twist normal things to be a little bit different.

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

No idea, man. It’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I like to work backwards. If this is what I want to happen, what needs to happen before that to ensure that it occurs? I look at all the elements currently in the story and see if one can be manipulated to fill in the hole.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

If I don’t, my brain gets all constipated and angry until I write something down. Like, seriously, I get grumpy and frustrated like I’m hangry or something. Aside from physical need, I love writing. I love word puzzles and feelings puzzles and figuring them out. Sometimes I think of how my stories could help someone, or make them feel something that they enjoy.

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

Oh, man, I’ve done it all. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, video game-ish writing, interactive storytelling, short stories, flash fiction, proposals, essays, DnD campaigns, monologues... You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I tend to stick to prose and poetry these days.

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

I’ve gotten into graphic design a little bit. I kind of wanna learn how to knit again. I’m not really very crafty.

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

Write a different scene, stare at the screen in frustration until I give up and go to sleep, meditate for a few minutes, go do something else to get my mind off of it, clean, work on a different project.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

I mean, see the next question for part of my answer. How did I decide to end H2H? My friend, that’s a big ‘ole spoiler. But I decided to end it at a place where everything, and everyone, comes together.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Right at the beginning. If I don’t know where it’ll end, I have a hard time writing the arc. I work backwards: start with the idea, then think of where I want it to end up, then work back to the beginning until I know where its going, then start writing.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

My reasons are pretty personal, but the least personal is that I needed some accountability and motivation. And I missed being in a good writing community.

10. What’s your favourite food?

Pasta! I’m eating spaghetti right now.

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

Oz would be the most tragic. Treena would be the most logical.

From @bigmoodword:

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Nerdy potion woman meets cute odd stranger who helps her solve magic mysteries in their quirky small town.

2. what inspired them?

I saw a zine accepting submissions for magic stories, then an open call for queer shifter stories, and thought “what if wholesome magical lesbians?”

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

Gemma!

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

THE SONG OF ACHILLES. My God, my soul was weeping. Honestly, it still is. Doesn’t matter that I knew the story from the Iliad. Madeline Miller is a feelings wizard.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

On an as-needed basis. I used to do way too much research to avoid actually writing the damn thing, so now I only do it when I actually run into a problem that can be solved by Google.

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

The ones that aren’t hugely emotional. Which is... unfortunate.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Rude. On a personal level, Jill. I love her, but I would not be friends with her. We wouldn’t mesh at all.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

Third person limited present tense! To the bane of everyone who’s ever edited my work.

9. do you write poetry?

I do! Not often, though.

10. who is your writing role model?

My freakin’ writing professor from college. He is crazy disciplined.

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

Hey, you know those people who say your writing is too dark? Yeah, they suck and they’re wrong. They just want kids to live up to their expectations and write happy sunshiny stories about unicorns and dinosaurs having ice cream. And you’re not depressed because you wrote that one sad poem one time and someone asked if you were depressed. What you have is called feelings and they’re very useful for a writer, nay, a human, to have.

From @sundaynightnovels:

Who is your biggest role model? Okay, so I got crap all the time in grade school for never having a role model, and I still don’t have one. The teachers were concerned about me. But my reasoning was, “why should I want to live someone else’s life?” Yeah. They didn’t really know what to do with that...

What are your OCs favorite foods? Sort of answered here!

Which OC is most afraid of the dark? Oz and Mary!

What made you want to start a writing blog/participate in the writeblr community? Answered above!

Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a kid? Do you still? I did, indeed. I don’t anymore, but I have two that I shuffle around my room when they get in the way. One is a highland cow I got in Scotland (he has a plaid hat), the other is a blue whale I got at the Museum of Natural History in NY.

Do you like donuts? I love donuts. Especially jelly filled ones. Mmm.

Do/would your OCs like donuts? All of my OCs like donuts. I don’t think Mel has ever had a modern one, though.

What is your least favorite food? Cauliflower? I’m the household taste-tester, so there’s been a lot of stuff I don’t like. ( @sundaynightnovels I hate sparkling water, too, you’re not alone!)

What is your ideal writing environment? Comfy seating, a chair with no arms (stupid elbows), alone, plenty of chosen beverage within reach, headphones.

Favorite line from your WIP? So far, it’s this one!

Favorite quote from a book? Oh, man. There are so many. From recent memory, here are a few: “’Give it time,’ she replies. ‘It won’t be a story forever.’“ and “Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.” (both from The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy) “When he smiled, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled like a leaf held to flame.” and “I lean forward and our lips land clumsily on each other. They are like the fat bodies of bees, soft and round and giddy with pollen.” (I could write a goddamn essay about the imagery in this scene.) (It is quite possibly my favorite description of a kiss ever. And the metaphor extends through the rest of the scene so artfully ugh.) (both from The Song of Achilles) “The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head.” (from The Things They Carried)

#11/11/11 tag #about me #tag game #writer tag #oh my god so many questions #fun stuff below the cut #forgive my terrible jokes I am tired #writeblr #how I write #I guess #rec #book rec

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j0x06ber · 5 years

Text

Stream of Consciousness #1

Thirteen years ago I was ten. At the time I was a seventy five pound, bright eyed little boy. I had big plans for my life. I was going to do well in school, go to college and begin a career writing fiction novels. I looked up to the likes of Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft. Easily scared, I recall when I was six or seven, I slept in the spare room on the second story of my grandmothers house.

One night, my parents had left for the night and I was in bed. The darkness of the room was overwhelming. It felt as though tendrils were reaching up the bunk bed I slept in from all sides. Waiting for me to fall asleep. A delusion of my young mind to be sure, but it felt real at the time. I could almost see them, swaying back and fourth and snaking their way up the wall. What really scared me though was the fire alarm. It looked like like an evil red eye and it would blink as it watched me. As I stared at it and attempted to slow my breathing I could have sworn I saw teeth forming around the edges of the alarm, slowly creating a distorted and twisted grin around the eye and in a fit of fear, I ran out of the room.

Afraid I would get in trouble with the babysitter, I snuck down to the second landing that lead to the entry way, and curled up on the off-white carpet. I was just out of her sight, but close enough to the light and noise from the living room to bring me at least a bit of comfort. I watched the swinging chair my baby brother was in and listened to the soft clicking as it swayed back and fourth. Eventually I fell asleep and was found on the staircase. My family still has pictures of me huddled up the corner against the rafter and wall. Like a scared puppy.

This was a reoccurring theme throughout my life. I would regularly wake up and see stuff in the night. Even into my early teens, I would wake up and see the figure of a man standing outside of my room, or tapping at the window. I would hear disturbing whistling coming from the streets and manic howls. I was always scared.

This followed me throughout my life. The fear is no longer a result of the figments of my imagination, but rather something tangible. I no longer fear the figures in the night. They’ve long since stopped appearing to me. I fear my life direction at this point. I fear the people around me. I fear failure and the thought of having to live a whole life alone and in perpetual destitute.

When I was ten my brother was hit by a car. I was a bright student and had caught the attention of my teachers that year, and they had extended the offer to send me to The Tech Academy. My parents, ecstatic at the thought of their son attending what amounts to summer school at San Jose University didn’t so much as blink before signing me up, and that summer I began attending a course on robotics and hydroelectric power.

On the last day of summer, I returned home from San Jose to the flashing lights and sirens of an ambulance and police cars. On the grass in the front yard my youngest brothers bike was sat out, mangled. The bike was essentially bent in half; the tires and handlebars twisted. He had been riding his bike without a helmet, and in a dare with the neighbors kid, attempted to ride across a busy street that was at the end of our road. For context, we lived on the outskirts of town near a mushroom farm. Because there weren’t police actively patrolling this area and there was almost never traffic, people would drive down this road faster than they would the freeway. One such woman was doing eighty when my brother attempted to ride across the street. She slammed on the breaks, but it was too little too late, and hit him as he attempted to recross the road.

He would spend the next year in a coma at the hospital. The doctors repeatedly told us it was unlikely he would ever come out of it, and that even if he did, with the damage to his brain he would probably spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state. My parents decided to foot the bill though and hold out hope. In the end it paid off for them. He began to display movement in his fingers, and in the following months he was able to lift his head and move his arms.

He essentially had to start from scratch at 6 years old. He needed to relearn how to walk and talk. It would take years of physical therapy before he was, for the most part, functional again.

My parents weren’t around then. The issues I already had with depression and social anxiety would get worse during this period of time; as I stopped talking to people at school to avoid conversations related to my brothers accident and opted instead to spend most nights alone in my room, working on school projects or reading.

As time went on my feelings of detachment from the people and world around me would continue to worsen. It was no longer a case of just not wanting to talk. Instead it felt as though an impenetrable wall had been constructed between myself and everyone around me. I couldn’t relate to anyone, I didn’t know what to say in casual conversation, and the very act of speaking to others evoked a fight or flight response. If you are familiar with the borderlands series, my response to social interactions was similar, albeit less exaggerated, to that of Patricia Tannis. During this time I also regularly felt like I wasn’t in control of my body or actions. Everything I did felt like it was being done by an outside force, and I was just a spectator to it all. Despite all of this, there were people that refused to give up on me and they would go on to become close friends throughout high school and part of college.

Everything came to a head during my senior year. My friends were all distant and I felt it would be best if I transferred schools. I decided to take online courses to finish my final year. This was when I met Stephanie. She would be my anchor to reality, my best friend, and for a while, my girlfriend. Come graduation I experienced a psychotic break and began hearing/remembering conversations that never happened and people shouting my name. As my mental state deteriorated suicide stopped being a distant thought and became an appealing means of escaping. A permanent exit from what felt like some sort of an extended nightmare sequence straight of a David Lynch film.

June 8th I drove to an abandoned parking lot and parked under a tree illuminated orange by the streetlights just twenty feet away and grabbed out a benchmade knife I kept in the center console of my dingy orange ford. I started slashing everything I could My wrists, my arm, my shoulders, my chest, legs. Everything but my throat. I fully intended to kill myself that night. I sat there, globs of blood dripping off my arm onto cracked pavement and the side of the my seat.

I didn’t die that night. My typing this as proof. The bleeding stopped, at which point I was too light headed, weak, and scared to finish the job. Instead I fell asleep, woke up the next morning, put on my jacket, and drove home. Eventually my family found out what I had attempted to do. It was summer and I couldn’t wear my jacket all the time. Eventually they saw a couple, and demanded to see them all. Most of them weren’t too bad, but the ones on my wrist and chest were deep, with the cut on my sternum going all the way down to the bone. I carry hideous scars now as a reminder and have to be conscious of what I wear so as not to make the people around me uncomfortable. and I was hospitalized for the first time.

Stephanie was a sweetheart and everyday would drive three towns over where I was being kept to visit. Bringing healing stones, snacks, and much needed company. If you’re not familiar with wards, they are lonely and often times scary places. You have a routine of therapy, but outside that, there’s nothing to do but walk the halls, and when the clock hits 8, it’s lights out and you have to go to your shared room. I had been roomed with a violent schizophrenic that never acknowledged me when I tried to speak to him.

During my time there I was diagnosed with Bipolar and agraphobia. For the next three years I would be subjected to a number of heavy duty anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, and mood stabilizers. In tandem they dulled everything. I felt like a zombie. I no longer had emotional range and was tired all the time.

I started college a month after release. It was at this point I found out that the college funds my grandparents had been setting aside to put us through college had been used to pay my brothers hospital and therapy bills all those years ago. No one had told me this, and throughout school my parents discouraged me working, stating that my job was to focus on school and extra-curricular activities. I began working three jobs to pay for my courses, but after two years of this, my car broke down and I ended up shelling out five grand to repair the engine, only to have the transmission break soon after, leaving me no mode of transportation. Stephanie moved away to start her dream job as a forest ranger.

This was probably for the best. She was a sweet girl and I was bad news. I broke up with her shortly after getting the news that she was moving, and ended up reconnecting and getting into a relationship with Leilani. Leilani was also a very nice girl and supported me in more ways than she should have. We had similar issues, and she was able to understand what was going on with me better than most people, but our relationship was short lived. I isolate and cut off contact with everyone when I have a depressive episode. I was under the impression it would be better for everyone if I dissapeared when this happened. That I shouldn’t burden my friends with my own personal shit. It’s what I was taught growing up, to man up and deal with the problem. Don’t make it someone elses. During one of these episodes, she found someone else, and we fell out of contact. I remember the last thing she sent me was “Please don’t cut me out again”.

Shortly afterwards I was hospitalized once more. I had been out of college for a year and was working on paying for a new car and getting the debt I’d been accumulating through medicine costs and therapy when this happened. I was slapped with almost ten thousand dollars worth of debt, and that leads to today.

I will soon be twenty four. My friends and those that supported me for so long are gone. They have been for years. I’m living at my parents and am working a dead-end job as a QA engineer. I wont pretend like none of this is my fault. I’m self aware enough to know my own actions have lead me to this point. I should have dealt with my problems rather than trying to bury them. I should have accepted the help and support my friends had offered. I should have, in general, been a better person. I’m hoping that somehow, typing this all out, I can make peace with everything leading me to this point. If not that, to at least make sense of it.

#stream of conscience #writing

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