#self reblog again cause I wanna move with as little from this as possible

[suchalonelysunflower]

You Said Forever (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.7 k

Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋

Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕

“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”

You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?

After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.

Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.

A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.

“Calum?”

He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.

“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.

You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.

Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.

You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.

It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.

You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?

Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.

Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.

You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.

“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”

You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.

It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.

“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”

Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”

You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.

“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”

“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”

“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”

You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.

Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.

“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.

“Smell what?”

He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”

You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”

You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.

One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.

It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.

You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.

And for the second truth:

“I don’t know how to drive”

Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”

You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.

Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”

You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”

“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”

Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.

“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”

Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.

You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.

Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.

You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?

Would he care?

You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?

The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.

You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.

“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”

Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.

“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”

“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”

You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.

You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?

Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.

“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”

Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”

You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.

However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.

“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”

“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.

“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”

He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.

Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.

“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.

“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.

You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.

“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”

You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.

“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.

Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”

“My what?” You asked.

“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”

“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.

“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.

The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.

It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.

“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.

“Yes, love?”

“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.

Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”

You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.

The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.

You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.

A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.

You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.

Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.

The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?

If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?

You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.

But were you better off without him?

Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.

You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.

You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.

The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.

You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.

That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-

The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.

He was home.

Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.

A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.

He was home, but he was home with her.

You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.

You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.

With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.

“Hey!!!!!”

“Guess what?”

“I PASSED THE TEST!”

“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”

Read 19:05

“Calum?”

“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”

“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”

Read 23:54

“Is everything alright, Cal?”

Read 04:32

“I miss you”

Read July 19th 14:49

Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.

You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.

You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”

You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.

“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.

Hood was wearing-”

You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.

Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.

There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.

He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.

The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.

“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”

The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.

“We need to talk, please call me?”

You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.

The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.

Read 08:45

You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.

With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.

You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.

You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.

How could he?

All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.

But he loved you…

Did he?

He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.

Maybe love was not enough for him.

Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.

The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.

You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.

However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.

You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.

“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.

A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.

“Calum?”

He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.

“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.

You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.

With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.

You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.

Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.

Now you were just two strangers in a room.

“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.

Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”

You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.

“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?

“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”

More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.

“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.

“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”

“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.

A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?

A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.

The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.

You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.

Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.

“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”

So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”

“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”

“You forgot to do a lot of things”

If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.

You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.

“I know the song’s about me-” He said.

“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.

“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.

“Why did you do it, Calum?”

You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.

The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…

Ten “I don’t know”

The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.

Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.

“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.

“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”

You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”

“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”

“That I’d hate you?”

“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”

“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.

“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”

The room felt silent once again.

You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.

The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.

Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.

“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.

Calum sighed “I did. I do”

“And you love her too?”

He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”

“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”

“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”

“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”

“I wouldn’t ask you to”

You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.

“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”

Calum sighed “I know”

“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me

‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth h @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico

* if your url is crossed please reach out to me so we can fix it

[jovialluminaryalpaca]

True Beauty | Little by Little | Han Seojun x Kang Soojin fanfic series | part 2

Part 1 , Part 3

Hey, hey, I hope y'all are doing good, this will probably be a 3 part series and I hope I'll wrap it up by the next part. Anyhow, I hope y'all will like this part, don't forget to leave a like and reblog and feel free to share your views via ask or text, thank you 💛

No major warnings, very slight cursing (not edited)

Soojin sighed as she looked at her phone and waited for Seojun to come out of the studio. She was seated on one of the tables in the cafeteria at Move Entertainment. She tapped her feet impatiently as she sat there, it had been 2 days since Seojun witnessed her breakdown and decided to give her space to recover like he said. She felt embarrassed, not because she ruined one of his favourite jackets with her tears but because media had caught him holding her hand on a busy sidewalk that night. There were numerous stories and rumours around them and she was bombarded with calls from Jugyeong and Soo ah. She decided to ignore those calls because she knew they will only ask her questions she didn't wanna answer especially when she was recovering from her father's visit and her realisation of having feelings for Seojun.

If it was in her hands, she would've continued to avoid Seojun, but she had to come to the office to clear the rumours and make a statement that Seojun was just her friend and he was helping her out. It hurt her to say something like that but she couldn't really do anything about it, it was for Seojun's good and she knew that one sided love was all that was written in her fate.

In the past two days, she couldn't help but wonder when was it that it happened? When was the moment she started getting attached to Seojun and was dumb enough to not realise it? Was it when he made fun of her need to set everything in an order or was it when they bickered over almost any topic they could find? Was it when he called her everytime he was free and they would go to her favourite restaurant go grab a meal or was it when he stayed up late and planned a birthday surprise for a kid by performing a little concert at the orphanage the kid stayed in and the one her company helped? Was it when he casually called her pretty and bossy at the same time or was it when he apologized to her for calling her a piece of trash?

She remembered the time he did.

It was one of those nights, he walked her home after they hung out. They were both laughing at how a random old woman on the road mistook Seojun to be her grandson and dragged both of them along with her to come with her and have some dinner or tea at her place. Neither of them had the heart to refuse the old woman and it clearly looked like she missed her young grandson, so they decided to join her and much to their dismay, her real son approached them and apologised for the inconvenience she caused, she apologised and both of them told her it was not much of a big deal.

"Ya. Do you think we would've got free dinner if her son didn't come?" He asked her.

"Really? You are thinking about dinner? Oh My God." She exclaimed as he burst into laughter.

"No, no, no, I mean, food is everything you know." He said as she chuckled.

"You are such a goofball, I swear." She responded as he smiled at her. They both kept walking till they reached her apartment, they always took the route which less crowded and where he could freely roam without the mask.

"Next time, don't remove your mask in public, otherwise some other grandma will make you her grandson." She said as she nudged him.

He rolled his eyes but eventually laughed it off and shook his head as they finally reached her apartment.

"Don't worry, I won't." He replied as she nodded.

"Get home safe and try to stay as far as possible from groups of girls." She said as he smiled.

"Why? Are you jealous?" He asked as she laughed at his stupid question.

"No, because I want you to stay alive and not choke yourself to death when you get smothered by thousands of girls." She said as a matter of fact and he simply shook his head and she shrugged it off.

"Ya, Kang Soojin." He said as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry." He said out of nowhere and she looked at him blankly.

Why was he apologising to her?

"For what?" She asked as she studied his expression.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk to you back in school and for calling all those awful things." He said as she opened her mouth to say something but closed it back again.

"I know it's out of nowhere, but I just felt like I should apologise, so I did." He continued as she looked at him wordlessly.

Something about his apology was sincere even when she knew what she did was worth way worse than the words he chose to call her back then. Honestly, she deserved those words to be slapped on her and there was no justification for what she did except for it being a mean of escape which she found in Suho back then but she didn't anymore when she realized that what she did led to loosing one thing she cherished so dearly, her friendship with everyone including Suho.

"Why are you apologising? I deserved it." She said and scoffed at herself.

"Maybe, that version of you did, but I wanted to apologise to this version of you and not let her hold on to what I said back then." He explained as she looked at him with a smile.

"You don't have anything to apologise for, it's all in the past, it's like a closed back, I've moved past it, those words don't bother me that much anymore but it's the guilt that bothers me, it's always there whenever I'm around Jugyeong." She replied as he looked at her with a slight frown.

"Suho wasn't worth all that, honestly." He added as she chuckled.

"Yeah." She said as he looked at her and she looked back at him. There was just silence as they looked at each other.

"Don't you have rehearsals tomorrow for your concert?" She cleared her throat and asked him, his eyes widened as he remembered the rehearsal timings for the next day.

"Oh, no, I do. Oh, no, no. Heegyeong is gonna kill me if I don't reach the studio on time. I'll see you this weekend?" He asked as he checked his pocket for the bus pass.

"Yeah, you will, if I don't any event or work that is." She said as he smiled.

"Good, then, I'll see you later. Good night." He said and turned around to leave.

"Ya, Han Seojun!" She called out.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Why don't get a car for yourself?" She asked as his eyes widened to realise that he was rich now and he scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

"It will save you the hustle." She continued as he nodded.

"I'll look into it." He responded and turned his back to walk ahead.

"Good Night!" She called out as he waved his hand one last time and so did she as he  walked away. She stood there as she smiled to her self wondering when will Seojun finally learn to organize himself and then walked towards the elevator.

"Soojin?" Heegyeong's voice pulled her out of the trance as she looked at her and smiled.

"Yeah. Should I come now?" She asked as Heegyeong sat beside her.

"No, don't worry, it's handled. You don't have to make a statement, we cleared it out and warned Seojun to not be so careless." She replied and looked at Soojin.

"It's not his fault. I was the one who was in a hurry. I'm sorry for this mess." She said as Heegyeong looked at her with a small smile.

"You don't have to apologise Soojin, I understand, everyone has good and bad days and it's completely okay to have them." She said as Soojin nodded.

On the other side, Han Seojun ruffled his hair as he walked out of one of the studios and looked around to find Soojin. He was glad that she was doing alright and then he felt a sudden flutter in his chest as he looked at her smile at Heegyeong. He gulped not knowing why he felt that. He stopped as he admired her from the distance and a goofy smile appeared on his face.

Honestly, he would be lying if he didn't admit that Soojin effected him, her happiness and just her presence made him happy in ways he couldn't define, at first he felt like she was more of a replacement for Jugyeong and maybe her presence acted like some kind of a rebound for him but now he was sure that she was different and unique and maybe that's why he liked her presence around him. He weirdly felt comfort in the way she scolded him when she looked at the mess he made most of the time and the times she explained what certain words and references meant in fan letters. There was another tug on his heart's strings when she smiled and turned around to look at him. He smiled as he felt a gush of flutters in his stomach and she waved at him. He wasn't a fool to not realise what these feelings were but he was reluctant to accept that he started to feel them around someone who wasn't Jugyeong.

Did he finally move on from Jugyeong?

His heart whispered a yes as he walked towards Soojin, stood in front of her and ruffled her hair and she scowled at his action and that scowl on her face as she set her hair right and the rapid beating of his heart was enough for him to know that yes, he was finally over Jugyeong and that, yes, he definitely developed feelings for his school's ex top mark securing girl.

_

"We have something to tell y'all." Jugyeong said as she tapped the table and everyone looked at her.

It was weekend after the whole mess that happened with Seojun and the media, He apologised to Soojin for not being careful and she gave him a lecture on how he should be more careful with all of this and how risky it was to expose his face especially when they are teenagers around and how no one knows what their intentions can be, some might be innocent but what if someone was looking for some revenge or was an obsessed psychopath. He couldn't help but laugh at her theories only to get a silencing glare from her. They made up irrespective of the fact that neither of them were aware about the feelings they developed for the other.

They were now seated at the same table they sat months ago in the same position but it was dinner now, Jugyeong called all of them to gather here and they did because no one wanted to hear Jugyeong get mad at them for skipping the dinner.

"Don't tell me you are pregnant." Tae hoon blurted out as Soo ah burst into laughter.

Suho just shook his head at them and observed everyone.

Jugyeong glared at Soo ah but shrugged it off eventually as Soo ah let out a nervous chuckle. Jugyeong smiled at everyone who looked at her and then put her left hand up showing the sparkling diamond ring on her ring finger.

"Suho proposed and I said yes." She exclaimed happily as Suho smiled at her and wrapped his arm around to pull her close while the girls gushed at the news. Soo ah squealed at the news with happiness and Soojin smiled at her best friend. Suho observed Seojun's reaction but much to his surprise, he didn't feel his heart clench, like all the times before and he gave them a genuine smile and clapped along with the others congratulating the pair. Suho thanked them with a smile as Soojin looked at Seojun smile and felt happy that he finally moved on from Jugyeong.

After a while, Cho rong and Tae hoon decided to go explore something which opened down the street while Suho and Seojun walked out of the restaurant to let the girls to gush over details and spend their time alone without their partners or friends.

"You like Soojin?" Suho asked Seojun as they looked at the street view. Seojun choked on his drink as Suho shook his head at him.

"What? No." He said and shrugged.

"After all these years, you must know better than lying to my face." Suho said as he observed his friend's reaction. Seojun was silent as he contemplated the idea of telling Suho and eventually gave in.

"I...I do." Seojun said after a while as he cleared his throat.

"Then, why didn't you tell her?" He asked him.

"Do you think I'm ready for another heartbreak?" He asked as Suho looked at him.

"How will you know without confessing?" Suho asked instead.

"I guess, I just know how is it when the person I like looks at me as a friend." He said and shrugged.

"Maybe she doesn't." Suho said as he turned around to look at the girls from the window.

And much to his surprise, he found Soojin throw a glance towards Seojun and it confirmed his suspicions.

"Let it be. Will you?" Seojun asked with a mixture of scowl and frown on his face.

"As you wish." Suho said as he looked at him.

"Honestly, I still can't believe that you found a girl and fell in love." Seojun said as Suho raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? Have you looked at yourself? With those death glares and eyebrow raises you give, it's hard to believe that someone fell in love with you." Seojun explained as Suho smiled at his best friend.

"You are really a dumbass." Suho said as Seojun widened his eyes.

"Who are you calling dumbass, dumbass?" He asked as Suho shrugged and decided to walk ahead.

"I asked Jugyeong to call us when they are done talking, wanna join me for a walk?" Suho asked Seojun. Seojun stopped for a while and looked at Soojin smile and talk to her friends and he couldn't help but smile at the sight, he sighed and looked at Suho who stood there waiting for his response. He could definitely use a bit of fresh air to clear his head.

"Alright. Let's go." He said and covered his face with a mask and joined Suho.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hi! I saw your blog cause you reblogged one of my crack ideas on my hq account and I think it’s super cute! Is it possible I can request a cake? I’m curious to see who you’d put me with :)

I have no idea what I’m supposed to put in this, but! My name is Spencer (at least that’s the one I’m trying out rn, but it’s comfy I like it) and I use he/him pronouns. I’m 5’10ish & I currently have black hair that I dye from time to time (probably going to dye it red next). My hair is like...a little past the top of my ears, but it’s an undercut (think Kenma with black hair ig). I have really thin brown eyes (a lot of people think I’m Asian I’m not lol they’re just hooded). I’m not exactly built thin but that’s something I’m ✨insecure✨ about so we’re not gonna get into that lol

Personality wise,,,idk I’m 90% self-deprecating and the other 10% is sarcasm. I’d like to think I’m a pretty creative person although I’m extremely logical. Creativity is more for fun vs logical on a day-to-day basis if that makes sense?

I used to be really athletic but I started doing other things and since then that’s kinda dwindled away. However lately I’ve been trying to kick ✨depression✨ in the ass and get back into being athletic and stuff. I’m learning how to box and a few friends and I want to take up volleyball when it gets warmer. I used to be a soccer player though and I want to start doing that again, too.

A lot of people tell me I’m musically talented. I like to think I am on a good day, I guess (I’m bad about describing myself lol sorry). But I play a little piano and ukulele but I play guitar & sing mostly.

Even though I try not to be I’m super competitive and legit subconsciously turn everything into a competition, but I try to stay lighthearted about it. Even though I come off cold to people when I meet them (RBF + introvert yikes) I really care about my friends and wear my heart on my sleeve even though I try not to show it.

Quick stuff if this isn’t too long already?

Zodiac: Sun-Leo Moon-Virgo Rising-Cancer

MBTI: INPT-T

Asked my friends what colors they’d describe me with & made this:

Favorite anime is either the disastrous life of saiki k or haikyuu!! (leaning towards hq tho)

I don’t have a favorite color but I wear a lot of red and black

Punk/slightly alt style with a lot of graphic tshirts? That’s basically my style

And yeah! I’m sorry if this is really long lol I tend to ramble when I don’t know what to say heh

Spence back again 😅😅 I forgot to attach the pretty color thing my friend told me to make

@spence0112

Hahaaaaaaaa 😅 sorry for the wait but thank you for your patience 😭

Romantic Matchup

Tendou Satori

How Y’all Met

Ight kinda embarrassing

But y’all Met in therapy 🤠

Yup

Group therapy

Legit every time he heard you talk

He was like:

Mood

Felt that

Relatable

So after group he went up to you and was just like

“Hey if you ever need to talk to someone I’m always available!”

And he gave you his digits 😗

Ok fast forward a bit

You we’re having a REALLY bad day

Like the depression was kicking tour ass

And you don’t know why

But you called our boy Tendou

Oop homeboy ZOOMED over to you

He was like do you wanna talk about it

And you said no, you just needed something to take your mind off of your ✨depressive state✨

He remembered you saying something about wanting to learn volleyball

And it was the end of the day... 👀

So he took you to practice with him

It was actually super fun!

He taught you all sorts of moves

And you we’re really impressed by his guest blocking

By the end of practice you felt a lot better

And you actually decided to join the volleyball team

Tendou was super excited to have you as his teammate!

Y’all started to hang out CONSTANTLY

You guys were just super close

So no one was really shocked when you two started dating 👀

They were expecting it actually...

What They Love About You

He loves that he can relate to you

And vice versa

Y’all truly just understand each other

He loves that your willing to battle your depression

It honestly inspires him to kick the rest of his depression in the ass

He loves your style!

He would wear jeans and a t shirt every day if he could

Matching t-shirts 👀 👀 👀

He loves how naturaly caring you are

He can see past the rbf so don’t worry about that

But the fact that you treat people with care and kindness is a plus for him

Favorite Things To Do Together

Ok this could go two ways

Option A is the definition of crackhead things

A lot of midnight shopping trips

A lot of gas station hauls

You get the gist

Or there’s option B

Which Is very chill 🙂

He likes to just stay in and watch anime or read manga with you

So whatever’s more your vibe

But he likes doing both 👀

Random Hc

His favorite anime is Saiki K as well 😗

So that’s the show you two always watch together

You two

Do in fact

Have matching t-shirts

Ahhhh so cute

You guys told your therapy group you were dating 😭

They were surprisingly supportive 👀

Astrology

When Taurus and Leo come together in a love affair, they can be a great couple because they know how to stroke one another’s egos and love to have their own stroked!

They have similar needs: Taurus needs plenty of affection, to be loved and cherished, while Leo likes compliments and wants to be adored and admired.

They’re both extremely loyal and possessive lovers.

Since they have such similar desires, they can generally provide for one another’s needs quite well.

These two Signs both love status and possessions.

They prize physical comfort and luxury; Leo is often flamboyant about attentions and gift-giving, which will greatly please Taurus, who loves the most traditional forms of courtship.

Though they can work together quite well, it’s not all roses between these two; both Signs are very stubborn and must work hard to understand and accept one another.

Overall Aesthetic

2000 Retro

Out of my league - Fitz and the tantrums

Dissolve - Absofacto

Boyfriend - Coin

Wait a minute- Willow

I’m sorry this is just to cute not to add 😭

(NOT MY ART)

[itsthesinbin]

Millie x Reader x Moxxie

wrote something self indulgent for once. been having intrusive thoughts and i want someone to fuck me stupid so i wrote millie and moxxie poly porn.

no pronouns are mentioned but reader has tits and a vag and is also an imp as well i guess

mentions of an intrusive thought including eye gore is in here near the beginning so be careful if that fucks u up but this is a half vent oneshot half porn fic.

If you leave a like, reblog as well! Helps me make more content!

----------------------------------------------------------------

One day. You just wanted one day where you could just… be normal. All you wanted to do was just do your work. Well, really, it was Loona’s work. She and Blitzo, however, were out today for some kinda father-daughter thing that Loona REALLY didn’t want to go to.

You wished you didn’t have to come in today so you could just get drunk before 1 pm and waste the day away, but no. You have to do your work AND Loona’s paperwork. Not that you could focus on the words on the paper in front of you.

Every word looked like a jumbled mess of scribbles, giving you a headache. The same intrusive thought looped through your head, every time you even thought about working. The image of you jabbing your pen into your own eye stuck in your mind, to the point you felt nauseous.

“Just once can you shut UP,” you snarled, throwing the pen away in hopes that the thought would leave, if you no longer saw the object. You heard a squeal as someone ducked out of the way. You looked up, mortified to see Moxxie on the ground and the pen lodged into the doorframe where his head was. Millie peeked in behind him, helping him up.

“Somethin’ wrong?” You avoided her gaze as Moxxie dusted himself off. The two imps shared a look, before coming into your tiny office. Millie shut the door behind her as Moxxie came around to the back of your chair. Millie positioned herself on the corner of your desk.

“You’re so stressed your muscles are about to snap,” Moxxie said with a click of his tongue, immediately getting his hands on your shoulders. You grunted as he pressed his thumbs into your skin firmly, digging his other knuckles into your shoulders. You felt something pop in your left shoulder, and a sigh escaped you as your shoulders relaxed.

“Tell us what’s wrong, baby,” Millie purred, lifting your head up with a hand and smoothing your hair back with the other. Another sigh left you, this one more frustrated than the last.

“I just- I can’t focus today. Words look like spaghetti and my intrusive thoughts have been fucking terrible.” You grunted softly as Moxxie worked another crack out of your shoulder. You reached back, muttering a “lighten up”. He eased up on his massage, but didn’t stop. He always knew a way to make you feel better.

“Happenin’ again? Did you forget that little toy you need,” Millie asked, grabbing your bag to look for your fidget toy. You snorted slightly, amused at the determined look on her face, before putting your hand over hers.

“Trust me, that isn’t gonna help.” She shrugged, putting the bag back on the floor. She hummed softly in thought, before a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

“I know a way to get a pretty little smile on that face,” she cooed, sliding off of the desk and into your lap. You let out a startled mrrp, jumping back a little. Moxxie managed to dodge your horns, his own face turning a brighter red at the look on his wife’s face. That was the look she had when she didn’t want Moxxie to walk right for the rest of the day.

“At work-?” Your hands landed on her hips as she wiggled in your lap. She giggled slightly, arms going around your neck and disrupting Moxxie’s work. He leaned on the back of the chair, glancing between you two. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t up for it- the added bonus getting your mind off of your stress appealing to him, as well.

“Blitzo and Loona aren’t coming in today,” he smirked, tail curling a little. You gave him a look, silently calling him a traitor. He was supposed to be the voice of reason, not the voice of horny affirmation.

Millie grinned, before diving for your exposed neck. You jumped as she immediately bit down, your breath hitching from the action.

“What Millie’s saying, sweetheart,” Moxxie purred in your ear, “is that we want to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he leaned down to kiss you. His hand cradled the back of your head, a tender kiss contrasting the way Millie’s tongue slid over your slowly bruising skin.

You let out a small, muffled moan against Moxxie’s mouth, legs instinctively spreading slightly. Millie’s smirk could be felt against your neck.

“That’s our good little babydoll,” Millie cooed, kissing the spot under your ear. Your pointed ears drooped down as Moxxie kissed at your opposite jaw. You melted against your chair, letting out a quiet sigh. Blitzo had been working you three to the bone, so it was nice to finally get a break.

Moxxie’s hand slid up your shirt, groping you through your bra. Millie slid off of your lap, kneeling on the floor under your desk. Without waiting, she began to yank at your pants.

“Fuck, hold on-!” She snickered as you helped her get your pants down. She immediately spread your legs, nipping at your thigh. Moxxie unhooked your bra, lifting it and your shirt just enough to expose you to the open air. A bold move from the usually-timid Moxxie.

Another bold move was Moxxie leaning down to suck on one of your nipples. You let out a groan, threading a hand into his hair. Your other hand played with Millie’s hair, earning you a delighted purr from your girlfriend.

Her tongue slid over your slit, dragging slowly along your clit. You let out an animalistic huff, hips rolling slightly in response. The imp between your legs giggled, placing open mouth kisses on your skin before returning to your clit.

She lapped at it slowly as Moxxie popped off of your breast. Instead of going for another part of your upper body, he moved to join Millie on the floor. Your left leg was moved to sit on his shoulder, allowing him easier access. He bit at your thigh, giving you a half lidded look that made your breathing grow heavy. It wasn’t often Moxxie got flirty like this- usually he was the one getting flustered while you and Millie were all over him. You were going to get them back for this, later.

As was planned all along, your mind went blank when Millie finally latched onto your clit. She flicked her tongue over it, before sucking gently to start with. One of Moxxie’s hands trailed up, prodding you with a couple fingers. Your hips arched, silently giving him permission to push his fingers in. He was absolutely happy to do so.

They were both slow with you, wanting you to enjoy it versus overstimulating and torturing you like Millie likes to do sometimes. Well… you did enjoy the overstimulation, too. But you could tell they wanted you to relax versus winding you up by going too hard too soon.

Two hands slid up your body, each belonging to a different imp, and began to fondle your breasts. Millie circled your clit with her tongue, making your hips jerk and a soft moan leave your lips. Moxxie was too busy exploring you, pressing his fingers into you in a way that made your legs start to tremble. He felt the thigh against his shoulder tense and shake, and he turned to kiss and nip at your soft skin.

You arched your hips against Millie’s face, already feeling yourself getting close. You could feel Millie grin against you, and knew she’d be teasing you about how fast you’ll cum later. You couldn’t help it, though.

Between your two partners sitting between your legs, the threat of your boss returning and finding you three here, and how pent up you’ve been from your stress… You couldn’t possibly hold back too long.

“Mmm- fuck- Millie, Moxxie-” Moxxie purred, looking up at you as he began to drill his fingers into you. You moaned a bit too loudly for your liking. You went to slap a hand over your mouth, but Millie let go of your breast to grab your wrist. Oh, this woman was merciless.

“You wanna cum for us,” Moxxie smirked as Millie began to suck on your clit roughly. Your legs twitched in an attempt to close, but were caught on the imps’ shoulders. You nodded, panting heavily at the sudden pickup in intensity. Moxxie purred in response, biting down on your thigh and making your hips jerk.

Millie’s hand shifted from your wrist, letting you grab her hand for some kind of leverage as your orgasm barreled through you. Your other hand gripped your chair, a choked moan leaving your throat.

They both slowed down, helping you ride out the orgasm. Moxxie pulled his fingers out, getting up to grab the tissues nearby. Millie really milked the moment though, continuing to suck until you were whining and squirming against her. Finally, she granted you mercy, and pulled off of you with a pop. You caught your breath, looking between the two imps.

“What about you?” “Oh, quit worryin’ about us,” Millie laughed. She wiped her face off with a couple tissues, her lipstick smearing across her face. You imagined her lipstick was sitting everywhere she kissed, making your cheeks heat up.

Moxxie took his place next to your chair, but of course you couldn’t leave him out to the side like that. You pulled him into your lap, earning a yelp. His ears drooped happily as you kissed at his cheek.

“We just wanted to make you feel better,” he explained, voice wavering slightly in his lovesick state. You rolled your eyes at the tone. Simp.

“Well, I guess it worked,” you joked. Millie gasped, leaning forward.

“You GUESS? Well, that means we didn’t do a good enough job, Mox,” Millie sighed, trying to hide the fact she wanted to give you a cheshire grin. Moxxie pouted mockingly.

“Guess we gotta try again, Millie.” You groaned slightly as Millie squeezed into the chair next to Moxxie, trying to hide your own smile. Turns out hiding it would be easy, cause Millie planted her lips on yours.

You REALLY hope Blitzo and Loona wouldn’t be back anytime soon.

[shooting-starry]

Trust me. Love me. Shoot me.

Atsumu Miya x female reader

Summary: Atsumu finds himself with a young woman who is more that what she seems.

A/n: I honestly don’t know how to write fight scenes but I tried my best! Please support me by giving my any suggestions on fight scenes cuz I low key suck :O( any who, please dont repost, but feel free to reblog or like!

Y/n= your name

L/n= Your last name

Warning: misgendering, blood, weapons, death, dead bodies. Honestly, if gore is a no-no for you, then DO NOT READ THIS!!!!

Masterlist

Previous//Next

For the next few days, Atsumu drifted in and out of consciousness. Each waking moment was met with someone new in his room. There was the mystery man, Akaashi, who was reading a book, a large dude with bi-coloured hair doing pushups on the ground, a small girl with long blonde hair with dark roots playing on a Nintendo switch, and a rooster head who was sitting in the corner writing something in his notebook. Of course there was L/n. Atsumu was nervous about her. He wasn’t sure if he heard you properly two nights ago, or maybe 3 nights. Astumu wasn’t sure, but he was still cautious. When he wasn’t awake, he would dream of his brother and his comrades and acquaintances. He was not sure how his gang, Inarizaki, could have lost. He was on their side and was in good shape. The lose could not possibly be his fault. He was in great shape and fought extremely well. It had to be their fault. But of course, if they were hurt then he would have to blame himself. For what even he did to end up in L/n Y/n’s home. What ever her plan was, he didn’t understand nor want to know. He just wanted to get out as soon as possible. Because wherever he was, everyone around him was in danger.

This time, he woke up feeling entirely lucid. The room was empty, excluding the pair of crutches resting on the bedside table. He pulled his pant-less self off of the bed and grabbed the crutches. He placed one crutch under each arm and balanced himself on his unharmed foot. He moved to the mirror and observed his damaged body. He was wearing a pair of boxers and bandages covering his thigh. The large bandages that were wrapped around his chest, were now gone, exposing most of his tattoos. His face looking better, the stiches were taken out of his face, leaving a long scar down his face. His swollen lip and black eye had healed tremendously as well. His arms were still covered in bandages, but showed more of his tattoos. His blond hair was still messy, but it looked cleaner and more organized.

Atsumu opened the door and headed down the hallway which lead to the stairs. He hobbled down the hallway and stairs into a sitting room to see the mystery man, rooster head, the bi-coloured hair man, who looked scarily like an owl, the girl, and L/n. The five people were sitting in the dark sitting room, which was illuminated by a few candles, all except the girl with mugs in hand. As he entered the room, all five pairs of eyes, save for the girl, who was very invested in his Nintendo switch, focused on him. He once agin felt like a poop-flinging monkey in his enclosure.

The silence in the room was deafening. The silence was broken by the owl man who got up and ran towards him. He swung and arm around his shoulder and proceeded to carry Atsumu to the couch. Owl dude was a large man. He had exceptionally broad shoulders and biceps as large as his face. He was wearing a black muscle shirt with nike workout shorts. But damn, who knew an owl could be so buff.

As Atsumu was placed down gently on the couch (Atsumu swear he felt like a princess), the rooster head started to talk to him.

“So you are yakuza, right, Atsumu?” Asked the rooster head. “How did a yakuza like you end up in our little Y/n’s care”. Atsumu swore he was being provoked, two could play that game.

“Well it was an ambush, Rooster head-kun.” Atsumu rebutted. The air wasn’t tense, but felt playful. As Rooster head-kun was hyena laughing at his response, Owl-man was fidgeting in his seat and repeatedly taping Akaashi on the shoulder, like at a game show, Akaashi, showed little interest to the Owl and just told him to calm down.

“I still don’t get why you are even here.” Said a n unknown, tenor voice. Atsumu turned around to look at the source. He was staring at the “girl” who was definitely not a girl. He had his long blond hair pulled half back. His hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets, along with his switch. There was not much which was notable about this character. He was about 170cm with brown eyes.

“He is here because he was hurt on the sidewalk, Kenma.” L/n interjects, “so be nice. He will be here until he is better”. That statement seemed really contradictory to what you said the last night about “taking care of it”.

“Wait who are these people L/n?” Atsumu asked, scanning the room.  He noticed the tall fire place in the room, along with the floor-to-ceiling windows which showed a yard. The room was elegant, yet modern. Shit. How much was this place?

“Well this is Bokuto, Akaashi, Kenma, and Kuroo. And please just call me Y/n. Only Akaashi calls me L/n ‘cause he is too formal.” Y/n laughs. The group seem very cozy in the large sitting room. “We are partners and room mates. Kuroo is technically a lawyer, Bokuto is a personal trainer and body builder, Akaashi is an author and editor, and Kenma is, well a lot of things”.

“Well thank ya all the help, but I have’ta go. I don’t wanna stay here.” Atsumu replied. “A don’t think I should stay so bye”.  He said as he attempted to stand up. The owl head, Bokuto, grabbed the crutches before Atsumu could grab them.

“Sorry Tsum-Tsum, we can’t let you go until you are fully healed. Y/n even said so.” Bokuto said, holding one crutch in each hand.

“No! I have to go! Now please give me the damn crutches so I can leave.” He refuted. Atsumu felt a feeling of dread take over his body. The knew that they were coming. He was not sure who, but he felt that they were being watched thought the tall glass windows.

“Miya-san, you need to stay here until you are fully healed. So please don’t fight us.” Akaashi said.  Atsumu knew he had to leave now. There was no way he would let these nice people get hurt, even the cold Akaashi, who really dislikes him.

“I am sorry, but I need to—” Atsumu started, only to be interrupted by the smashing of the tall glass windows and doors being kicked in. Atsumu froze, waiting for the intruders next move. He was virtually defenceless in his current state, but he could at least help the other people escape. The intruders flooded in with revolvers and knives from all angles. There were no escape routes, and he could not see their faces. He turned around to expect 5 frightened faces, but instead he was met with an exited Bokuto, a smirking Kuroo, an ever-stoic Akaashi, a scheming Kenma, and a determined Y/n, still sitting around the coffee table. In a blink of an eye, weapons are pulled from under the coffee table, under couch cushions, and behind pillows. Guns, knifes, tasers, swords and a frying pan were pulled out from obscure places.

As the group behind Atsumu stood up, weapons were in hand as fighting ensued. Bokuto had A large frying pan (why, Atsumu could figure out) and was using it as a shield from in coming knifes, and a weapon for hitting people upside the head. Akaashi and Kenma were gracefully dodging and stabbing people with black knifes (maybe it was an Eckhorn, Atsumu wasn’t sure). Kuroo was tazing the masked men left and right. As for Y/n, she had disappeared somewhere in the span of a few seconds.

As much as Atsumu was enjoying the fighting, he was stuck in the middle, utterly defenceless. Blood was everywhere as bodies hit the floor. One after another. The intruders were killed and left on the ground to be kicked on stepped on. He was so intrigued in the fight around him, that he did not notice the tall man stalking towards him. Right as Atsumu noticed, a gun was placed on his head as he heard threats of death if he called for help or moved. Paralyzed, he froze, his thoughts raced, and his heart was beating one thousand times a minute. Then suddenly Y/n appeared from the shadows and sliced the man with a tomahawk. Blood spattered along her dark cardigan and onto his back. She swung again and again until his body fell to the floor in a bloody mess. The masked men were almost completely all dead. The boys were mostly unscathed, except for a scrap on Kuroo’s forehead, but covered in blood. Atsumu was still in shock over the fighting skills of a doctor, lawyer, writer, body builder and whatever Kenma did.

“Wait what just happened?” he asked in shock.

“Well our safe house was found and we were attacked by masked-” started Bokuto, only to be cut off by Kenma.

“We saved your life and killed some people.” He interjected. The other 5 were stripping off all their bloodied clothes.

“No, who are you really, and how did you act so quickly?” Atsumu clarified.

“Well, Kuroo and Kenma are from the Nekoma Yakuza, and Akaashi and Bokuto are from the Fukorodani Yakuza.” Y/n replies, now stripped down to a simple black sports bra and black cargo pants.

“And I am a freelance assassin.”

Taglist: Open

@kayleighbeccaa

[chuckbass-love]

Fic where Chris accidentally gets a girl pregnant( could be a random girl he’s sleeping with or maybe a friend, up to you) he’s super freaked out and tells his mom and family for advice on what to do. But they reprimand him first

Hi lovely anon...

So i received two requests about pregnancy with Chris. One of which is this one and the second is Chris as a teen getting a girl pregnant so i’ll do both as separate fics. This one as adult Chris and the other as it was requested. 

I’m sorry to the anon who requested this since i’ve taken a long time to write it. But i hope the wait has been worth it after you read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smut! Sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), pregnancy reveal, swearing and fluff.18+

Word Count: 5,061

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @jckcriley go check them out❤️

Unexpected

“W-what?” you can’t help but almost choke on your beer as the unexpected words leave your friend of 6 years mouth.

“You heard me” he smirks, sipping on his own beer and leaning back on the couch. His eyes remain locked on yours.

“Chris, maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink” you giggle, reaching over to take his drink but he pulls it out of the way so you can’t “I’m practically sober, Y/N. You mean to tell me you’ve never thought of me that way?” he raises a brow at you, the one look that always has you secretly wanting to jump his bones.

Sure he’s your friend and has been for 6 years but that doesn’t mean you’ve never had sexual thoughts and fantasies about him. Thoughts and fantasies that have been intruding your rational side for as long as you can remember. But you got used to the friend zone and you have no one else to blame but yourself for remaining there. 

Whenever Chris has been single, you’ve been tempted to swoop in and admit your feelings but quickly aborted that mission, refusing to put yourself in a position to be rejected. 

And now, he’s sat in front of you at your house admitting that he’s always had a crush on you. You’re shocked and it shows. 

Your silence to his question and your failure to keep eye contact gives you away. Why does he have to make you so nervous?

“You have, haven’t you?” he closes the gap between the two of you, taking your beer from you and placing both his and yours on the coffee table before turning your head so that his lustful eyes meet your shy ones.

He doesn’t miss the way your breathing hitches at the feel of his lips grazing across yours without kissing you and he certainly doesn’t miss the way you shiver at the feel of his thick digits dancing down your right arm slowly.

“Chris” you whine, in hopes that he’d just give in and kiss you already. After all, it’s been a long time coming. But instead he lowers his head to your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss to the exposed skin before moving to your ear. His breath fans your earlobe and his beard tickles your skin “what is it baby?” his whispering has you gasping, more so at the intimate nickname than anything else.

“We shouldn’t do this, it’ll ruin our-”

“What? Our friendship? Well i’m down for that if you are” he licks your earlobe, biting it a little too.

Again, your breath hitches and your heart skips more than just a beat as his lips are now inches from your own and the beer fills yours nose.

Before you even have a chance to stop it, his soft lips meet yours. Moving in sync, almost as if they were made to kiss.  His beard yet again tickles your skin, no doubt it’s gonna leave a burn all over after he’s finished with you.

It takes a couple of seconds for you to realise what’s going on but when you do, you let go and it’s incredible. Your arms wrap around his neck loosely and he pulls you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him.

A quick break for a breath of fresh air is taken before going back to it, the two of you going at it more like life long lovers than old friends. You can’t help but wonder if you’re the only friend of his he’s had these kinds of feelings towards. Or if you’re the only one full stop.

“Wait” you push him away slowly, looking right into his eyes “am i the only one?” your question has his brows furrowing in confusion.

“What?” his chuckle leads you to smile “am i the only friend you find attractive? The only friend you’ve thought about in this way?”

“Yes”

And you believe him.

“I never thought i could pursue anything because of the way we are together. The nicknames, the way you act like one of the guys. I just didn’t think it was ever a possibility”

He’s saying all of the right things and right here, right now. You don’t wanna second guess him, so you pull him back to you, kissing him like your life depends on it.

And he just reciprocates the same energy but with a twist. His hands find their way to your ass cheeks underneath your tennis skirt. He gives your soft globes a little squeeze, earning an excited squeal from you which only turns him on more. 

“God this skirt. It drives me crazy every time you wear it” he groans as his kisses turn to open mouthed ones along your jawline and down your neck to your sweet spot.

You gotta admit, you could say the same thing to him about his body. Whenever his shirts are open a little to reveal his chest and his tattoos or whenever his biceps bulge out of the shirt sleeves. You feel your legs turn to jelly and it’s hard to play it cool.

“I need you” you blurt out, causing him to take action. He spins you around quicker than you can even keep up with. Your legs are spread apart and now the only thing stopping him from ruining your tight cunt is the thin piece of cotton covering it. Not for long though.

“Oh yeah, how do you need me baby?” his hands graze your inner thighs and more arousal soaks your panties “I need you to touch me” you beg and your head falls back, resting on his shoulder. You look up at him before closing your eyes as you feel the pads of his fingers press down on your bundle of nerves.

“What, like this?” his mouth begins to suck on your neck, no doubt leaving marks for everyone to see tomorrow. 

All you can muster is a lazily mumbled “mhmm yes” and that’s all he needs to reach his hands inside. The way his fingers run through your folds before circling your dripping hole is like a feeling you’ve never experienced. Probably because the one and only time you’ve ever been intimate with someone was the quick rubbing of your clit and missionary. Hardly adventurous.

Chris however, has experience. And there’s obviously a reason Minka and Jenny went back for more, right?

Or at least you assume so. Plus many drunken conversations with Jenny gave away some details that at the time had you jealous as fuck. But now, you’re aching with the anticipation of what’s to come tonight.

For example. One party that Chris hosted. You and Jenny were bonding over tequila. 

Tara left the group just as she got into it and you can’t say you blamed her at the time. Tara and Chris are best friends and it would be weird for her to take an interest in his sex life shenanigans.

But since you and Chris have only ever been friends, not best friends, you stuck around. If you hadn’t then god knows who Jenny would have told.

She was practically drooling over the sight of him across the room, starting the conversation with a simple “how sexy is he?” almost like she expected you to agree, which you didn’t. Despite agreeing in your head of course.

“Oh you should have seen him last night Y/N, that mouth of his. Jesus. He was like an animal. I’ve never cum so many times from oral”

The memory in itself has you moaning and bucking your hips up into his hand, yearning for more.

His hand pulls from your panties and his fingers hook into the sides of them. He lifts your legs with one hand as his other slides them down and off, discarding them halfway across the room. Not that you care where they land.

The way his arms wrap around both of your thighs, parting your legs whilst they reach down to rub firm circles on your aching and needy pussy, is almost like he’s wanted this as long as you have. Which of course is most likely true since he’s already admitted to crushing on you secretly.

“Please, Chris, i need it” your impatient self can’t control the hunger, but he has other plans.

“All in good time, let me take care of you Y/N”

His thick digits circle your hole once again before two of them slip inside without even a single warning. You’re not used to the feeling but after a couple of pumps in and out, he starts curling them against that familiar spongy spot which makes you forget the stretch you experienced just seconds ago. 

Now everything that Jenny said makes sense.

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop” your hand grips his wrist as you start to grind your hips in circles, wanting to feel the palm of his hand against you throbbing clit. And with your impending first orgasm of many to come, you can’t help but arch your back.

“Gonna cum already, huh? Come on baby, cum for me” he eggs, a third finger adding to the equation. Just what you needed to fall off the cliff in his arms. Your legs shake and your breathing quickens “just like that baby, cum all over these fingers” and you do. 

Your arousal drips down his fingers, making the mess he urged you to. 

Once he rides you through your high, he pulls out, lifting them to his mouth and the second they come into contact with each other, he’s slurping and sucking them clean.

The sight itself is probably enough to make you cum all over again but before you can, he’s manoeuvring you so that he’s carrying you into your bedroom and laying you down.

More clothes are tossed onto the floor until the two of you are in nothing but your birthday suits and you gotta say, his size is more than impressive.

“Such a beautiful body, might have to keep you like this all the time” he smirks, hovering above you, his huge biceps either side of your head. He lowers his head down so he can capture your lips in a quick but passionate kiss and you can tell this isn’t just a quick hook up to him. Or at least, that’s the way it seems.

You hope.

His lips linger for a couple of seconds before they lower to the valley between your breasts and he inhales your scent instantly, breathing you in like the smoke from a cigarette.

“Smell so good baby. Always smell so good” his fingers tweak at your nipples as the kisses continue, moving lower and lower until he’s face to face with your cunt.

It’s only natural for you to expect some kind of teasing from him but he takes you by surprise by devouring you like a 3 course meal with no feather like touches or dirty talk to get you to beg for his filthy mouth.

“And you taste good too, always knew you would”

The words have you covering your face and the feel of his head shaking on you has you closing your legs on it. The scratching of his beard on your thighs is both awful and incredible all at once. You just simply can’t get enough, running your fingers through his messed up locks and grinding your pussy on his tongue as he sticks it out for you to use as much as you like.

“Gonna make this sweet pussy cum once more before i fuck it, that okay, baby?”

No words are needed, he knows you want it. So he dives back in, spreading your pussy folds and blowing air on your clit before his lips wrap around it for him to suck.

"Cum on my tongue baby, i know you can, give it to me, let me get another taste” he coos and you find your body shaking. 

Seconds later, after his words of encouragement and his tongue fucking you. You release for the second time tonight, all over his skilful tongue. You prop yourself up onto your elbows to watch as he makes sure no drop is wasted before he kisses his way back up to you.

As soon as his tongue slips into your mouth, battling with yours, you can taste your sweet arousal and it drives you crazy.

You wrap your legs around his waist and he buries his face in the crook of your neck as he lines himself up “you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, pulling away to look at you, unsure on whether you truly want this but why wouldn’t you want this?

“Chris, i’m sure” you convince, cupping his face with both hands and all of a sudden your pussy is stretching to accommodate his size as he slides home with no pauses to get you used to it. You knew the moment that you saw his cock that it would hurt a little. But the pain soon subsides and is replaced with pleasure.

His thrusting pace picks up immediately and your legs tighten around him as your urge to have him deeper consumes you

“Shit” he grunts, hissing at the feel of your warm walls fluttering around him perfectly, he can’t say this is anything like his many fantasies because the honest truth is it isn’t. It’s better, way better.

Having you underneath him, panting and moaning like he’s always dreamed makes him think heaven is right here with you. A place on earth.

“Taking this cock so well baby, feel good huh?” his voice raspy and gentle at the same time even though the way he’s ploughing into you is far from it. 

“Yes. God yes. Chris i’m gonna cum” you mewl frantically, feeling your walls clamp down on him hard as if he’ll leave if you don’t. And if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you don’t want to ever be without him now, you want this for life. You’ve come so far, you’re knee deep in feelings for this man and you hope he’s on the same page.

“Fuck. Cum with me baby, i’m right there with you” his grunting and growling turn to moans that could resemble that of a porn star. So hot and like music to your ears.

The room is filled with the sound of his skin slapping against yours and the sounds of pleasure from the two of you merging into one with little sweat droplets adorning both your foreheads.

“Oh fuck, squeeze me again baby”

“Just” thrust “like” thrust “that” 

“Chris, don’t stop” you plead as your toes begin to curl, his head drops so his lips can meet yours the second he spots signs of the coil snapping within you.

And when it does, he’s sucking all of the air from your lungs and muffling your moans.

The way your walls spasm around him spurs his own release on, he twitches a couple times before finally releasing inside of you and painting your walls.

Shockwaves rush through you and you still can’t believe you just had sex with your friend. 

Maybe it’ll hit you in the morning and you fear the unknown reaction from the man himself. What if he regrets it? What if you do? Whatever happens, you can’t change the results, all you can do is bask in the glory of this moment finally coming to life after a million times where you’ve over thought how this would go down.

He eventually pulls out, falling down to the spot on the bed beside of you, panting too.

“Well that’s certainly not what i expected to happen tonight” you giggle.

Chris has to say, he feels relieved. All those sneaky glances your way and all those nights out where he was dying to kiss you have finally stopped. Because now he doesn’t have to hide it away, you know and you feel the same. 

Having you in his arms now as he pulls you to rest your head on his chest after mind blowing and romantic sex. All of your desires have come true.

“Me neither. What does this mean for us now though?” the question you were saving for tomorrow but you’re thanking the lord that he’s asked first.

“I was going to ask the same thing. But i don’t know, i guess if you want to then we could maybe go on a date, see where things go?” he lifts your head up with his finger under your chin and the second your eyes meet, he kisses you hard.

“I’d love to take you out”

“So, that’s a yes?” 

He can’t help but laugh nervously “it’s the easiest yes i’ve ever had to give, i can’t wait. But maybe now we should sleep?" before he even finishes talking you’re yawning and closing your eyes. 

And with a quick peck on your forehead, you both get under the covers and drift off.

---------------------

*4 weeks later*

A month after your hookup with Chris and you’ve already had your first date.

He invited you to his place where he had a 3 course meal waiting, that he cooked himself.

Quite impressive and it was actually edible which made you suspect that he had Lisa’s help.

Though he would never admit that to you because he wanted to impress and of course he did.

You’ve not seen him all week, only spoke to him over text or FaceTime since he’s been super busy with work. Meetings galore for upcoming projects. You respect that with his career though, this dating business is going to be a lot like your friendship has been. There’s nothing you can do about it but to tell the truth, you’re kinda glad he’s not been around.

It all started last week when you were puking constantly, your boobs were unbelievably sore and the nausea has been out of this world. 

The puking has been mostly in the mornings but this morning was the worst. All of these things had you racking your brain, there had to be a reason behind it and when you calculated the days for your period, you realised you were a week late.

So you drove down to the store, picking up some water and snacks as well as a pregnancy test.

The second you returned home, you rushed to the bathroom to take it and let’s just say waiting for the results to show were the longest few minutes of your life. Your legs were shaking as were your hands. When the timer stopped, you took a deep breath before glancing down to meet your fate.

It reads ‘pregnant’ on the clear blue stick.

How the fuck is Chris gonna take this?

The thought alone makes you want to puke so you quickly drop to your knees, spewing your lunch into the toilet.

This is your life well and truly ruined,

-------------------

Chris knocks on your door, waiting patiently for you to answer and let him in. As soon as he sees your exhausted face, his smile fades.

“What’s wrong?” worry fills his voice and it hurts even more.

Yeah sure, he’s 39 and you’re 30. But does he really want a kid this soon with you. You know he wants to be a dad and he has done for a long time. But even so, it’s way too soon. It’ll be like taking 5 giant leaps when you’ve only just admitted to liking one another a couple weeks back.

“Come sit down” your voice monotone and serious, scaring him further.

“Baby?” he asks but you ignore, taking more deep breaths.

“Look, i don’t really know how to go about this and i’m terrified” you gulp, looking away from him and fidgeting in your seat “so for the last week or so i’ve been experiencing some things. Sickness, nausea and my boobs have been hurting and feeling very sore. You know all that already. But this morning was the worst. I puked so much that i almost fainted when i went to stand” 

You can practically see his hands shaking too, still refusing to look him in the eye which is driving him insane.

“Y/N please, what is it?” his patience wearing thin.

Here goes nothing.

“I’m pregnant” 

Now you look at him, his eyes wide, his mouth open slightly.

“What?”

Not a question that needs an answer as you’re pretty sure he’s just shocked.

“I-I don’t know w-what to say”

“I don’t expect you to say anything, Chris. I won’t blame you if you want to walk away now”

Hearing you say that riles him, he forces you to look at him “listen here, i’m not gonna walk away. No chance. Two of us made this baby and two of us are gonna take care of it”

Even with the confidence he’s showing, you know him well enough to see the act. He’s terrified too. But it’s probably best to not bring it up now. 

Tears fall down your face as he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you. He can sense that you were worried about being deserted.

But that’s never going to happen. 

“We’ll get through this together okay?”

“Okay”

--------------------------

Days pass and Chris is getting even more scared. The news still hasn’t full sunk in yet. You’re carrying his child and yet he feels like he’s too immature to do this and in this head space, there’s only so many people that he can turn to.

He thought it would be best to share the news with his family alone first since he’s never been in this position before. He’s watched his sister go through it and obviously his mother went through it 4 times with him and his siblings.

This is something he’s wanted for a long time. He doesn’t want to mess it up. So it’s time to get help.

“Ma, it’s me” he calls out, closing the front door and searching the lounge before he hears her call back “kitchen”

As soon as he enters, he finds his sister Carly helping his mom with lunch.

“How’re you” Carly asks, hugging him but his heavy breathing alerts her.

“Chris?”

“I need advice, i’m freaking out” and now his flustered state is abundantly clear.

“Why what’s happened?”

The pair stop in their tracks, focusing all of their attention onto him and gesturing for him to speak.

“So you know me and Y/N decided to give dating a go” they nod “about time too” Lisa jokes.

“Well, turns out. She’s pregnant” he grits his teeth, watching as they freak out too. With Lisa’s mouth hanging open and Carly’s eyes widening.

“Say something please”

“Chris, how could you let this happen so soon?” 

Not the response he was hoping for. 

“I-i”

“Did you even use protection?” Lisa’s eyebrows raise before she bows her head once he shakes his.

“Christopher, you’ve only just started dating this girl and she’s already pregnant. I don’t believe this”

“Chris this isn’t easy you know, pregnancy, parenting. It’s hard and are you sure you two are ready to take such a big step so soon?” Carly adds, calming her voice more than what their mom did.

He doesn’t even have an answer for them.

Because he’s most likely not ready, neither are you but is anyone ever ready to be a parent? Probably not. 

“It’s sleepless nights, long days of tantrums and melt downs. Loud screaming, refusing to eat and a horrendous amount of dirty and smelly nappies. Can you handle all of that? Can she?”

“Look I’m terrified enough as it is and I know it’s not gonna be easy. That’s why I came here in hopes that you would ease my mind about this” he sighs, sitting down at the breakfast bar and scratching the back of his head with Carly taking a seat on the stool beside him.

“How does Y/N feel about it?”

“Scared too, assumed i was just going to leave but i reassured her it would be okay and that i’d never leave”

A proud mother moment for Lisa, she knows in this moment that she’s done a good job with raising him and all of her kids. 

Her life is a constant never ending string of proud mother moments with them. They never cease to amaze her.

“As long as you have us, you’ll be okay but please let this be a lesson to you. Not using protection is so dangerous. Especially when it’s just casual at first, you need to be careful”

They are right. It was reckless too. Drunken nights in with friends that he fancies aren’t the best time for sex. 

Even he can admit that.

“Condoms always” Lisa’s index finger in his face has him laughing and nodding frantically “yes ma’am” they all laugh at his remark and eventually he feels the tense atmosphere leave.

He feels like the news has been accepted.

“God your father might actually pass out when he hears this”

“Can we tell him and everyone else over dinner, tonight maybe. I want Y/N to be here when they find out. I only told you guys because i didn’t know who else to turn to”

“You’re gonna make an amazing father Chris. You just need to believe that and you’ll be set. Am i saying parenting is easy? Certainly not but what i am saying is that i have more than enough faith in you to do this right. You got this, just please do me a huge favour and wrap it up from now on or you’ll end up like me before you know it”

He hugs his sister tight, squeezing her and letting out the biggest deep breath ever “love you. What would i do without you?”

“I honestly don’t know”

Chris says goodbye to them before heading over to your place and Lisa texts the family group chat, asking if everyone is free to join for dinner.

Once you become aware of the plan, you freak out and hours later you’re still deciding what to even dress yourself in. 

“But what am i even going to wear?”

“What if they don’t take it well?"

Chris has to eventually hold you in place to keep you still “you’re starting to resemble that one scene in the grinch baby. Just remain calm. You’ve been around my family loads of times and besides mom and Carly already know. They support us”

He’s right. He’s always right. This is why you two alway got on so effortlessly as friends. He balances your crazy and anxious self out with his calm, cool and collected self.

Plus you both have a shared love for beer, football and cussing non stop. 

“Shit, you’re right” you breathe in and out a couple times before settling on some high waisted jeans and a pink jumper. You match it with some Dr Martens before leaving to go and have that dreaded dinner.

You’ve been around his family before, you keep telling yourself this in hopes that it will calm your nerves. The car journey is short and sweet and now you find yourself walking into his parent’s house.

All eyes in view fixate on you two. Everyone knows you both have become a thing but wait until they know you’re knocked up because neither Chris nor you had the brain cells to suggest using a condom.

“Right everyone, dinner is ready” Lisa shouts and there’s a rush to the dining room with you trailing behind. Chris pulls out a chair for you to sit in before taking his own in a spot next to you.

Grace is said and small talk is made as the entire family dig in. You can see Chris getting ready to speak up and your stomach does loads of little backflips due to all the nerves.

“Everyone, me and Y/N have something we’d like to tell you”

Complete silence in the room and now you want the ground to swallow you up.

“So as you all know, we’re a couple now”

“About fucking time” Scott roars, earning laughs all around.

“Well, we’ve got some news and whilst it’s completely unexpected but we’re very excited to tell you that we’re having a baby” you stand up with him as you take in the reactions.

Some are shocked, some are cheering and smiling and others are just eating. AKA the kids.

Congratulations are tossed your way and Shanna is instantly giving you baby name suggestions whilst Scott is hugging Chris and offering to baby sit already.

“I’m so happy for you and if you ever need a sitter, uncle Scotty is where it’s at” you’ll 100% bare that in mind.

As you take your seats again to tuck into more delicious food courtesy of Lisa, Chris leans in “see, nothing to worry about. You’re family already” and with a kiss to your forehead, he continues with his roasting of Scott.

You couldn’t wish for a better family to be apart of or a better family for your child.

---------------------------

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LMK if you wanna be added to my tag list... Thank you x

[agentsoftie]

Sleepless Nights ( S.R ) p.2

summary: Y/N and Reid aren’t the most fond of each other. So what happens when sleep, have to share a bed, and get married?

pairing: Y/N x Spencer Reid

a/n: a/n: AHH okay so here it is! It’s my first au so it’s probably not the best. But big thanks to @anepiphany! Ani baby none of this would be happening without you! Thank you for you tips and making me not go insane! Also pls tell me if I slept something wrong cuz like, your girl not the best when it comes to it. Also there will def be a loophole somewhere in my case and if you find one, just let it slide because life is filled with loopholes ❤️ also this is gonna be a two parter! ( this is the second part )

warnings: mentions of a case, angst and blood (the smallest amount), fluff really though

also if you want to be in my permanent taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

Remember to like and reblog

“So today happened,” you say while you got into bed.

Yeah, today happened. So, I guess we're gonna do this thing huh,”

Wait, is he asking me out? you think to yourself. No dumbass of course he isn't. He's talking about the event thing. you say to yourself mentally. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“So, sleep huh.” He asked awkwardly.

“What?”

“You know, sleep. Like us, together. No, wait t-that came out wrong. I meant like we’re gonna sleep, but ike together on the same bed. But if you're not tired then we-” He got cut off by you when you grabbed his arm. Immediately he looked down at your hand and then up. He looked like he had just seen a ghost and gotten an A in a class you were failing at, at the same time.

“Breathe, just breathe. How ‘bout you take a shower huh.” You say in an airy voice while still holding onto his arm.

“Uh, okay. Yeah, a shower. That sounds good.” He said, forcing you to let go of his hand.

-------

It takes him 10 minutes to finish taking his shower. Tonight he comes out wearing another pair of basketball shorts and another tee. It really makes you wonder if all he goes to sleep in is a pair of shorts and a tee. Like really Reid come on. You have money, use it on some proper pj’s. Although you're one to argue wearing another pair of shorts and a loose crop top.

“You said last night that there was no hot water so it took you ten minutes, well this time there still was and it again still (italicize) took you ten minutes. Like what the fuck!”

“I'm not really one for hot water. But my statement last night still remains true, you took up the hot water.”

“ Reid, this is a hotel. They almost always have hot water running.”

“Okay well, I don’t care!”

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“Ha, so you admit it!”

“Admit what?”

“That I’m smarter than you!”

“Well in certain areas, yes,” you said in an annoyed tone. He was smirking at your struggle for answering. “Ugh, can we just go to sleep.” You say not wanting to continue this conversation.

--------

You woke up to the sound of rain pouring outside. The skies were as gray as a child on a monday. You felt something on your stomach and to your surprise that feeling was a man known as Dr. Spencer freaking Reid. He was laying on you with his head right under your chin. You were holding his hand and your legs were intertwined with his again. You can't remember what happened last night to lead up to this, but what's done is done. The person you've been pining over for the last 3 years was here laying on you and looking like a fucking god.

Your phone started to ring causing him to wake up.

“Emily? Oh, okay yeah, I'll be there in 20.” She told you to go to the address that she had sent you. Saying to bring Reid with you to get your outfits for tonight. “Reid, come on we gotta go.” You say looking down at the art that was placed in front of you.

“No, I don't wanna leave. I just wanna sleep.” You had never seen this side to him before. So soft and sweet. Was the universe trying to make you fall for him? If so, then it was working.

“No come on, we have to get our outfits for tonight. We have to get ready and eat something. So come on, get up.” you say trying to get up but failing because he holds you back.

“No. sleep.” He mumbles half awake.

“Spencer, how ‘bout this. How about you sleep for a little until I take a shower and stuff. Then you can get up.”

“Okay, fine.” And with that he was out, leaving you go gaze over the literal form of perfection.

------

“Y/L/N how long does it take to get changed?” Reid yelled.

“Oh will you shush!”

“Geez, no need to get so mean.”

“Iswear I will backhand you so hard if you don't shut up!” You say while walking out. And at the sight of seeing you he was speechless. Staring at you like you had something stuck in your teeth. “What?” You say looking down at your black floor length gown.

“No n-nothing. It's just-”

“Just what?”

“You look good in that dress.”

You looked down immediately after he said that fearing he would see the blush. He did. “Yeah well, you look good too.” you say while moving your hands after the redness was gone.

“I know.” He said, smirking causing you to make a sarcastic face.

“Okay, well we have to go now or Hotch will literally kill us.”

“You. He’ll kill you.” He says while walking out of the door.

“And you would just love that, wouldn't you.” You say following him out.

————

“Reid, you have your gun?”Hotch askes.

“Yes.” He said.

“Wait, where should I put mine?” You ask while holding your gun.

“Oh, you see, you're not going to have one.” JJ says while taking your gun away slowly.

“Then what the hell am i going to use as self defence?”

“You're a badass, you'll figure it out.” Emily says suggestively.

“Damn straight.” You say smiling causing her and JJ to laugh. Reid was not impressed.

“Okay, these glasses have a secret video camera in them sending footage to Garcia once you turn it on. So whatever you do, don't take these off.” Hotch says while handing Reid a pair of glasses that match his suit. ���And Y/L/N this is your “wedding ring.” It has a video camera in the diamond so try to keep your hand up and try to make it as visible to people as possible.” He says while handing you the ring.

“Okay you're married, so act like it!” Rossi says before you two leave.

“Yeah, you both better be so in love it makes someone sick.” Emily adds.

“Yes mom. Yes dad.” You say jokingly.

“Okay and before you go, here are your earpieces. And we’ll be near the building if anything happens.” JJ says.

-------

“Y/N, put your left hand on Spencer’s arm.” Garcia says through the earpiece. And you did exactly that. “Okay, now be affectionate.”

“Pen how should we do that.” You say while looking at Reid so it looked like you were talking to someone.

“I don't know? Spencer, kiss her.”

And then bam! Before you knew it, his lips were on yours. You didn't know how to react. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in making the kiss even stronger. You then put your hands in his hair and pulled at it a little. And at that moment it was as if the world stopped. As if time froze and fireworks went off. And then all of a sudden he pulled away and you looked down.

“Cherry or Strawberry?” He asks as if nothing just happened.

“I uh- strawberry.”

“Pardon me, but I couldn't help but notice that beautiful ring.” Says a guy approaching you.

“Oh thank you! It's very gorgeous isn't it!”You say while looking down at the ring then bringing your hand up.

“But not as gorgeous as you honey.” Reid says while looking at you. Oh god the things he did to your heart.

“Oh, uh how rude of me not to introduce myself. Im Ryan. Ryan Carson.” He says while holding out his hand for both of you to shake.

“Im Y/N Reid and this is my husband Spencer Reid.” You say while shaking his hand after Reid, as always, refused to. Y/N Reid had a nice ring to it, although you would never change your last name. But it sure had a nice ring to it which both you and Reid noticed.

“How long?” Ryan asked.

“3 months.”I said.

“When did you know?”

“The first time she read me The Fault In Our Stars. It was 2 something in the morning and I couldn't sleep so she read it to me. And I just couldn't stop thinking that this is the girl I’m gonna marry.” Reid said. Although that of course never happened, your heart wanted to explode. Right after he said that you kissed him on the cheek. He immediately turned red, but you didn't say anything.

“Wow. That’s just, wow.” Ryan said.

“Guys I think this guy is our friend Thomas. Well not think, know. He looks exactly the same. So make sure to play into his tactics or whatever. Therapy must cost a lot for you sweet children.” Garcia says.

“You know, I’m gonna propose to my girlfriend soon. Would you two help me pick out a ring?”

“What do you think Spenny?” You ask in a joking tone. Spenny, that was one you never used. You liked it, did so did he.

“Well, I think that it’s an amazing idea baby.”

You could see the anger in his eyes. The anger you get before taking a life. You could see that all he wanted to do was end your lives right then and there. Honestly you two could go into acting if all this death gets too heavy for you.

“Great! Then follow me right this way.” He says while leading you to the elevator. The ride was fairly quick but the entire time Reid had his and around your waist pulling you close to him. Oh god the things you would do to have him.

“Here’s my room.” he says while gesturing to you two to go in first. You saw two chairs and then heard the door slam behind you. You jumped at the sound and turned around to see him standing there with a gun pointing that both of you. “You don't want your wife to die a painful death, go sit down on the chair.” And he did exactly that. “Now you too bitch.” he says while pointing the gun at you. And you did exactly what he said.

“What do you want!” You yell at him while he ties you up.

“I want your happiness to end. If I can't have it, then how can you?”

“The world doesn't revolve around you!” And then before you knew it there was blood coming from your arm and a door kicked open.

“Y/N!” Spencer yells.

-------

“I’m okay, really I’m fine.” You say to the paramedic wrapping your arm.

“No you’re not! You got shot!” Spencer says.

“Okay well how about I leave you two along for a bit huh.” And with that the paramedic was gone.

“Oh look, you scared the paramedic.” You say while throwing your hands in the air.

“Okay and you scared me.”

“Spencer, I got shot. It happens.”

“Yes Y/N I know but it could have hit an artery and make you bleed out. I could have lost you. Why dont see that. If you die who am I gonna mentaly torture, who am I gonna talk to my mom about, who am I gonna love? I've already lost so much, I can't lose you too. I love you.”

“You love me?”

And just like that he grabbed you and put his lips on yours. You immediately put your hands in his hair and pulled hard, he didn't care though. He pulled you closer to him, making you come back with 10 times more force than before. You pulled apart due to lack of oxygen and he put his head against yours after catching his breath.

“Does that answer your question?” He says softly.

This time you kiss him. Not as aggressive as last time though. This was a small, yet equally as meaningful kiss. “I love you too.”

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly then all at once” – John Green

————

taglist: @ghostly-angelic, @marshmallowtraver, @heartbroken-writer, @yllwtaxi, @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks, @theamuz, @guessthatswhyiliveinhell, @alli1902, and @kaybeeboop

[cherryeol04]

Morning Wonders (M)

Pairing: Jisung x reader

Genre: mostly smut, a lil fluff, kinda domestic, humor if you squint

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: lactation kink...yeah that’s about it.

A/n: I wanna thank @sapphiretsuki for reviewing and naming this beauty right here. This is my first skz smut I’ve written so I’m really proud of it and I hope you’ll like it too. 🥺 Also dedicated to @channiesmixtape whose constant gushing while working on smut fics gave me the courage to finally attempt my own. And a special thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged and gave me encouraging word on my post about struggling with writing smut. It really helped and I appreciate you all!💖💖💖

You woke to Jisung’s hands running over your body, fingers gripping flesh a little too hard and leaving new marks alongside old ones. You whined softly and slowly rolled away from his touch, burying your face into your pillows because you didn’t want to deal with his horny self so early in the morning. Your alarm hadn’t even gone off yet to wake you up, so it wasn’t even 7 yet. How Jisung could be awake this early, let alone horny baffled your sleep hazed brain.

“Y/n.” He grunted, blindly reaching out for you until his hand came in contact with your waist. He jerked you back against him, your head rolling back to rest on his chest. Once more his hands started exploring your nearly naked form, fingers dipping under the hem of your pastel pink panties. You opened your eyes and groaned as you weakly swatted at his hands.

“Stop.” You rasped out, throat dry from the deep sleep you had been in. Jisung didn’t stop, one hand slipping into your panties while the other came and grabbed your right breast, squeezing it every now and then but mostly just holding the weight in his palm. Shifting against him, you squeezed your legs closed as his fingers wiggled between your folds to tease your clit. “Jisung.”

“I love how sexy you sound in the mornings.” He cooed against your neck, lips dragging against the sensitive flesh. “So raw and beautiful.” He smirked, nipping lightly at your neck to pull more moans from you. And moan you did. You absolutely hated how he could so easily work you up with just the simplest touches. It would be stupid to try and fight him, so you relaxed back against him, legs parting as you adjusted yourself into a more comfortable position. He chuckled, hand slipping further down as he rubbed two fingers against your wet hole. You clenched, wanting so desperately to feel full again. “You’re so wet baby.” He teased and you pouted, wiggling your hips against his fingers.

“Shut up and stick your fingers in me.” You sassed, rocking down in hopes of getting those slender fingers inside you. But Jisung, being the tease he was, pulled his hand away and shifted away from you. You fell onto your back and glared up at him, not at all happy with this early morning teasing. You had work in a couple hours and you just wanted to get off. Why couldn’t he be a good boyfriend and make you cum? “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” He smiled and you wanted to slap it right off his face because he was right. You didn’t hate him at all. You were so god damn in love with him it was sickening half the time. “Now just lay back and let me take care of you.” He whispered.

“Jisung we don’t have time to go slow.” You tilted your head back as he started placing light kisses against your neck, trailing down to your chest slowly. Your skin tingled whenever his lips made contact and you found yourself slowly falling into the pleasure he was giving, work and responsibilities slowly leaving your mind. Your fingers tangled into fluffy blonde hair as Jisung bit and sucked against the top of your right breast, a hiss leaving your lips at the slight sting. Pulling off, he ran his tongue over the hickey he created a few times before moving lower. A strangled moan passed your lips as he licked over your nipple, tongue swirling around it just to tease.

“Jisung, please.” You begged, eager to feel his lips around nipple. They were sensitive and you loved having them played with. And Jisung was always willing to play with them whenever you wanted.

“I can’t deny you, baby.” He purred. Taking your nipple into his mouth, he started sucking as a free hand slid down to cup you through your panties. His fingers slid against your folds, feeling your wetness as it soaked through. Your body shivered and arched as he rubbed your clit - teeth nipping every now and then at your nipple.

“Oh fuck, yes.” You panted out, fingers tightening in his hair as you held his face against your chest. “Don’t stop.” Jisung moaned around your nipple in agreement before giving a harsh suck that left you gasping and shaking for more. But more never came. Instead, Jisung pulled back and scrunched up his nose. “What’s wrong?” You asked breathlessly, confused.

“That tasted weird?” He said slowly, licking his lips a few times as he eyed your chest. Cocking your head, you lifted yourself up onto your elbows.

“What do you mean? How are my boobs supposed to taste?”

Jisung opened his mouth to reply but closed it as he searched for an answer. But he was at a loss for words. Silence followed for a few heart-stopping moments before Jisung finally moved to sit next to you in the bed. “It was a weird taste. You didn’t feel anything?” He asked.

“I felt you sucking my nipple and fingering me. What else am I supposed to feel?” You snorted.

“I’m being serious, Y/n!”

“I am too!” Sighing, you pushed yourself up and stared down at boobs in curiosity. “Do it again?” You suggested.

“Are you sure?” Jisung asked and you nodded. He bit at his bottom lip and reached out to grab your breast again. Leaning in, he took your nipple back into his mouth and gave a few experimental sucks before pulling back again, the same look on his face. “Same thing.”

“Well I didn’t feel anything.” You said slowly as you cupped your own breast and pinched your nipples. Nothing happened and you didn’t see anything coming from them. So what could he have possibly been tasting? “Do it again, but don’t use your tongue.” You suggested. “And as soon as you taste it, pull away and maybe we can see?” It seemed ridiculous but you were very curious to know what was going on with your body.

Jisung easily agreed and latched onto your nipple and started sucking. It only took two sucks this time before he was pulling back. You both stared at the droplet of clear liquid that coated your nipple and you sighed. “I said don’t use-“

“I didn’t.” He insisted before you could even finish your sentence. He swiped his finger against your nipple, collecting the liquid and holding it to your lips. “Taste it.” You made a face and were tempted to tell him no, but then thought better of it. Parting your lips, you licked his finger and made a face. It was a hard taste to describe. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. “Yeah, exactly.” He laughed.

“Dude that’s wild.” You whispered and laughed when he smacked your arm lightly.

“Don’t call me dude.” He pouted as he looked up at you before his eyes fell back to your nipples. “Do you think the other one does it?” He asked. You shrugged and grabbed your other breast and held it up for him.

“Guess there’s only one way to find out.” You grinned at him. Smirking, Jisung didn’t need any other invitation, immediately latching onto your other nipple. Biting your lower lip, you panted softly as pleasure coiled within your abdomen. God you loved how good his mouth made you feel. “God Jisung.” You whispered, arching your chest against his mouth. His arms slipped around your waist and he used his weight to push you back down the bed. Hovering over you, he nipped at the hard bud once more and continued to suck. Dragging a hand up your side, his fingers found your other nipple and pinched and rolled it, causing you to arch and moan louder.

As Jisung continued his torture on your nipples, you wrapped your legs tightly around his hips, pulling him down against you. You could feel his hard dick pressing against you, the head poking and rubbing your clit. The dual sensations had you mewling out, fingers gripping tightly at his shoulders as you rocked against him. “Baby, that feels so good.” You panted out, eyes closing tightly as you focused on the pleasure coursing through your body and coiling deep within you.

Jisung released your nipple and lifted himself up further. He pressed his face against your neck as his hands grabbed your hips and lifted them up as he slotted your bodies together in a better position. “Shit.” His breath was hot against your neck and you shook from how wrecked his voice sounded as he met your rocking hips with his own, grinding and humping against you. “You’re so wet baby. I can feel it against my dick.” He groaned out. Your body trembled at his words and you got so wound up, right at the edge.

“Yes, so wet for you.” Turning your head, you gently brushed your nose against his forehead and he lifted his face. “Please Sungie, wanna cum for you.” You begged, leaning in to bite at his bottom lip. He whimpered and pressed his lips against yours in a harsh kiss. His hips stuttered before stilling and you could feel his cock pulsing and twitching as he came against you. Panting through his nose, he licked at your lips and you parted them. Slipping his tongue in, he pressed and caressed your tongue while working a hand between your sweaty bodies. Pulling your panties to the side, he ran two fingers against your slit to collect your wetness before working them in circles against your clit - first clockwise and then counter clockwise. Your tongue fought for dominance as you shook under him, your legs tightening around his hips.

“Jisung, fuck.” You gasped out, the coil of arousal finally snapping within you and you came. You clung to him as your body trembled with each aftershock of your orgasm. Your lips met in a gentle kiss that turned into two and then three until they dissolved into giggles. Laying back in the bed, you let yourself relax as Jisung rolled off and curled up against you. Rolling onto your side, you slung an arm around his waist and he returned the sentiment as the two of you snuggled up against each other. You started to drift back off to sleep when Jisung’s voice pulled you back.

“Just so you know, the other side did it too. It’s pretty hot.” He chuckled and you pouted, smacking his still sweaty back. “What, babe? It is hot. Just another reason for me to keep playing with your boobs.”

“Oh my god I hate you.” You whined and bit at his shoulder to show your frustration. He jerked and laughed, his arm tightening around you as he pulled you closer.

“Love you too princess.”

[marjansmarwani]

i know i already sent in a prompt (and honestly i don’t even remember which # i picked.. so that will be a fun surprise) but since you reblogged the list again, i’m going to send in another request - #4. give me all the angst jillian. so excited to read all your prompts when you get to them 💕

You asked for angst, and you certainly got it. Sorry this took me literally forever, but here it is and I hope you enjoy! 

I don’t ever wanna have to let you go

[Read on Ao3] - 6.5k

4. “holding everything in doesn’t help, you know?”

---

When TK walks out after a fight with Carlos, he doesn’t expect to end up in an accident. When TK calls and Carlos - still hurt and angry - declines the calls, he doesn’t realize they are desperate calls for help. Now Carlos is left with nothing but guilt and desperate hope that maybe they weren’t too late - maybe there is still a chance for a happy ending after all.

This one is angsty, fair warning. But I like it when they are happy, so it is angst with a happy ending. This one was inspired by both the request from @officerrxyes and a prompt I saw on my dash one day from @whumpxng. The prompt essentially said that two characters got into a fight and then when one tried to call for help the other didn’t answer and my brain went...angsty tarlos. 

So here we are, I hope you enjoy! 

-----

Awareness came slowly, but the pain did not. 

 Other sensations trickled through: the acrid smell of smoke, the blurred sight of twisted metal, and dim dashboard lights seen through partially lidded eyes. He was in a car, he had been in an accident - the realization came to him in pieces. Flashes of memory assaulted him: a car pulling out at a red light, a wet street, the stark fear of losing control, and then, darkness. But the pain was at the forefront - undeniable and all-encompassing. 

 TK tried to sit up but fell back into his prone position on the steering wheel with a gasp of pain. He takes a moment to get the breath back, to allow the white-hot pain to fade back to the edge of his senses. He was hurt - that wasn’t the question. The question was how badly. 

 He sits back again - more carefully this time. He manages to pry himself from the steering wheel, able to put a few inches of distance between himself and the mangled steering column before he finds himself pressed against the back of his seat. He blinks the haze of pain from his eyes as he catalogs what he knows: 

 He was in an accident

He is hurt, possibly badly

The street he is on seems to be deserted; there will be no help from a passerby

He needs to call for help but judging by the state of things, finding his phone seemed unlikely

 He curses to himself. Great. This was...just great. 

 But he is a first responder; he spends his life dealing with these types of situations - even if he is usually on the other side. He forces himself to calm, to focus on what he can do instead of what he can’t. 

 What he can do: assess his injuries. 

 He moves through his body, experimentally moving each limb, shifting and cataloging resistance and pains. His left shoulder aches, but everything else is mostly fine until he gets to his chest. He tries to twist his torso experimentally and almost blacks out again from the all-consuming pain that springs up. 

 Okay - his chest was definitely hurt. 

 He continued the self-examination more cautiously; gently probing his chest with his right hand. He felt each inch carefully and cursed. There were definitely some broken ribs, and nothing on the left side of his chest felt good. He went to swear out loud and found that the simple act of forcing air into sounds caused immense pain. 

 He leaned back against the seat again, allowing his heart rate to slow in the wake of the agony. All he had learned from that exercise was that he needed help and he was in no shape to go find it himself. 

 He thought back to the end of his list and glanced around him to confirm: his phone was nowhere to be found. If his brief experiment with movement had taught him anything it was that he wasn’t going to be digging around on the passenger side floor anytime soon. So his phone was officially out. He eyed his steering wheel. It had commands for the bluetooth built-in - maybe they were still functional. He reached out a shaking hand to press the phone button experimentally. The display screen blinked to life and he almost heaved a sigh of relief. 

 He looked at the screen and felt more dread rise up within him. He wouldn’t be able to dial. That left him with only voice activation or redial. Based on everything he had felt since waking up voice activation was out. Which meant he was left with only one option, and it made his heart sink.

 It was always the same name at the top of his recent calls - a thought that usually filled him with warmth and love. 

  Tonight...it might not be such a good thing. 

 Flashbacks of the scene he had walked out of at Carlos’s home assaulted him: echoes of the shouting, of the things they had both said - of the things he hadn’t meant. And then he had just...left. Walked out, gotten in his car. He had planned on just driving for a bit to clear his head before heading to his dad’s. It had almost worked too. He had felt better, more centered - right up to the moment of impact. 

 The universe had a cruel sense of humor sometimes. 

 He was probably the last person Carlos wanted to talk to right now, and he couldn’t blame him. But he had to try. 

 Besides, it was Carlos. Carlos would always pick up the phone, right?

 He groped for the steering wheel with his trembling right hand. Muscle memory led it towards the familiar command button and clicked it through the options. Redial appeared on the display, mercifully the first option. His shaking hand thumbed the center button; initiating the command. 

 It rang. 

 It rang for hours, or so it seemed. In reality, it was not long enough - the voicemail picked up too soon and TK’s heart sank.  

  Carlos had declined his call. Carlos didn’t want to talk to him.

 He had known it was a possibility, had expected it even; but the reality still stung. 

 His vision blurred again, but this time it had nothing to do with the smoke. 

 He took as deep of a breath as his battered chest would allow, and tried again. 

 The ringing seemed to last forever, each trill echoing with his own shame and regrets. Eventually, the voicemail picked up again and TK hit the button again to disconnect the call. There was no way out of this for him, he had to accept that now. He thought he might have been able to too if it hadn’t been for the way he had left things with Carlos. He loved him so much.  He couldn’t believe after everything they had been through, everything they had shared, it would end like this - with his corpse trapped in his mangled car and Carlos with 2 missed calls. He didn’t want him to have to live with that guilt, but there was no way around it. 

 He was fading fast now, there wasn’t much time left. Somehow he found it in him to reach for that button one more time. He owed it to both of them. He needed to hear Carlos’s voice one more time, even if it was just a recording. He needed to tell him he was sorry, that he still loved him - even if he was only saying those words to his voicemail. 

 He hoped they could still give him some solace, help to ease the guilt TK knew he would feel (even though it wasn’t his fault, not really). 

 He hit the button again and listened to the tinny ringing sound reverberating through the speakers. He could feel the darkness edging closer, eager to claim him one final time but he resisted. He just needed a few minutes more - he needed to make this as right as he could. 

 The ringing stopped and TK prepped himself, stilled his breath so that nothing would drown out the sound of Carlos’s voice that he so desperately craved. 

 “TK?” Carlos asked, his voice echoing through the car stereo and washing over TK like a familiar blanket. With a start he realized it wasn’t his voicemail - it was actually Carlos. He tried to respond, but his voice wouldn’t work. There wasn’t enough air left in his lungs. 

 “TK?” Carlos asked again, voice tinged in concern, “are you there?” 

 TK tried again to speak, desperately willing his body to perform one of its most basic functions. If he could just tell him he’s sorry, if he could just remind him how much he loved him, he could die happy. 

 And it was pretty clear he was dying either way.

 He pulled from his deepest reserves and found a little bit more strength. Just enough for one word. 

 “Sorry,” he croaked out, coughing in the wake of the word and setting his chest on fire. The new pain brought the blackness in from the edges and the last thing TK heard before everything faded was Carlos’s terrified voice yelling his name.  

 It wasn’t enough, but it was all he had. He hoped Carlos knew the rest. 

--------- 

 “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

 “Why do you always assume there is something wrong Michelle?” 

 “Because you called me in the middle of a Friday evening and we are now sitting in your living room with beers and you haven’t said two words since I got here.” 

 Carlos sipped his beer in silence and Michelle rolled her eyes before setting her beer down on the coffee table and turning on the couch to face him: “Carlos, just tell me what’s wrong. We both know you’re going to eventually, so why drag it out?” 

 Carlos scowled at her but she simply raised her eyebrows expectantly. He sighed and lowered his beer, resting it on his knee as he thumbed the label anxiously. When he spoke, his eyes remained decidedly on the bottle in his hands, “TK and I had a fight tonight.”

 “Couples fight,” Michelle reminded him, voice gentle. 

 Carlos shook his head, swallowing, “We don’t. Not like this. It’s been almost a year and I think this is the first time we’ve ever fought like that. We were both so angry - we were both yelling. I don’t think either of us has ever raised our voices at all, not to each other. Then he left.”

 Now Michelle furrowed her eyebrows, “Left how?”

 “Just, left. Grabbed his keys, walked out the door, drove away.” 

 “He probably just needed some time to cool off,” Michelle said gently, placing a hand on his knee. 

 “I know he did, we both did. We just…” Carlos trailed off and shook his head before trying again, “we both said a lot of things. Not good things, either.”

 “What did you guys fight about?” 

“I can’t believe you would do something so dangerous, Carlos!”

  Carlos paused, the hand holding his fork poised in mid-air above his plate, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

  “You knew that guy was armed and you went in anyways - without backup! That was reckless and you know it.”

  “You do realize what a hypocrite you sound like, right?” 

  Now TK froze too, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

  Carlos set down his fork, thoughts of dinner abandoned: “Exactly what I said. You’re being a hypocrite. How many times have you ended up in the hospital from work? How many times have your dad and I had to wait and hope and pray that you would be okay, that you would pull through? And yet here you sit, telling me off for taking a risk!” 

  There was stunned silence before TK spoke again, his voice quivering with barely suppressed rage, “It’s not like I’m doing any of that stuff for fun. I do it to save people. Sometimes it gets dangerous - what am I supposed to do, just leave them?” 

  “You could still save people without jumping off a building without looking! You could still save people without risking your own life!” 

  “I don’t take any unnecessary risks!” 

  “Like hell you don’t,” Carlos scoffed, voice cold and angry, “You haven’t met a risk you didn’t take. I’m still not sure if it’s just plain recklessness, a hero complex, or just residual suicidal tendencies.” 

  “You don’t mean that. You know I’m past that Carlos.” 

  Carlos shrugged helplessly, “I thought you were, I like to think that you are. But then it happens again and I have to wonder why. The only reason it hasn’t worked so far is just pure dumb luck and you know it.”

  TK stared at him, chest heaving, “You’re angry because I get hurt at work sometimes?” 

  “I’m angry because you’re trying to tell me off for something you do all the time! I’m angry because one of these days your luck is going to run out, and that scares the hell out of me! I’m angry because someday you may not get so lucky, and where will we be then?!” 

  There was silence in the wake of his words, the echoes of Carlos’s shouts fading into the air around them. The next sound was the scrape of TK’s chair moving across the floor. When he speaks, his voice is scathing, “Well if that’s what you think of me, then I see no reason to stick around. Clearly, we both have some thinking to do and I think it might be best if we did it alone. I know I have no interest in staying where I’m not wanted.” 

  Then he was up and across the room. He paused only long enough to scoop his keys off the table by the door, and then he was gone. 

Michelle was looking at him expectantly. Carlos shook his head and took another sip of his beer before speaking. “We both had some fears that caused us to react strongly, and we both said some things we regret. Then he left.”

 Just thinking about it made the heat of anger flare up in him again. The fact that TK had so little regard for his own safety or wellbeing was a constant source of stress and fear for Carlos. He spent so much time worrying about the other man, had spent so many hours waiting and hoping for the best (but fearing the worst) that seeing TK shrug it all off infuriated him. 

 His phone, sitting on the couch between himself and Michelle began to vibrate. He glanced down to see TK’s picture light up on the screen. Carlos shook his head and tapped the screen, declining the call. He wasn’t ready to talk to him yet; he wasn’t ready to forgive. 

 Michelle raised an eyebrow at him but he merely shook his head. “I need a little more time,” he said. This hurt still felt too raw - he wasn’t ready to forgive and forget just yet.

 Michelle opened her mouth, but Carlos shook his head again, “I know that I will forgive him. I know that he’ll forgive me. But right now...I’m just so angry. I don’t think I’d be able to talk to him without starting a whole other fight. It’s for the best.” 

 She looked like she had opinions on that and was no doubt about to share them, but whatever she was going to say was cut off by the sound of his phone vibrating again. They both glanced down at it and he declined the call again without even a pause. There was silence between the two friends until Michelle spoke again. 

 “Maybe you should give him a chance to speak before you just assume you know what he is going to say,” she suggested, “isn’t that what you are mad at him for doing in the first place?” 

 Carlos glared at her and was about to ask her whose side she was on when the phone rang again. He was about to reach for it, to repeat his action but something made him pause. Maybe it was Michelle’s words, maybe it was that three calls in such a short amount of time didn’t seem right for TK. He was more the type to try once and then leave the ball in Carlos’s court, too afraid to overstep. Despite everything he would know that Carlos would always call him back. A nagging fear started to eat at his stomach and when he reached for the phone, he swiped to answer instead of declining. “TK?” he said hesitantly, a question as much as a greeting. 

 There was silence on the line for several moments and Carlos glanced up at Michelle to see her brows furrowed in concern as well.

 “TK?” he asked again, the growing concern coloring his voice, “are you there?”  

 He was about to repeat himself when TK’s voice suddenly sounded on the speaker, weak and faint and almost unintelligible - almost. It only uttered one word: “Sorry.” 

 Then there was a cough, then silence. 

 Carlos could feel his heart racing as he looked up at Michelle with frantic eyes. She already had her phone out and was dialing 911. He turned his gaze back to the phone, desperately wishing he could see through the screen, that he could find out what TK was dealing with - that he was going to be okay. 

 “TK!” he said again, voice louder, more frantic. There was no response and he took a deep, shuddering breath. He looked to Michelle, who was relaying the details to a dispatcher. Their eyes met and she gestured for him to keep going, to keep talking. He swallowed and complied: 

 “Hang on TK,” he instructed, voice shaking, “help is on the way. You’re...you’re going to be okay.” 

 Michelle put her hand over the mouthpiece of her phone, “They’ve traced his cell signal and rescue crews are on their way. Keep talking to him, it can't hurt.”

 Carlos nodded and kept talking, “We both know you’re too stubborn to give up, right? Don’t prove me wrong yet Ty. Just hang on a little longer.” 

 There was still silence on the other end. Every second of silence, every word uttered without a response caused the fear in his gut to grow. 

 “I have so much to apologize for, you can’t leave us like this. This is not how we’re meant to end Tyler Kennedy.”

 Michelle reached out and put a comforting hand on his knee again and he blinked away tears. He hoped that no one from TK’s crew was on call. They didn’t deserve to see him like this. 

 “I’m so, so sorry for everything I said tonight sweetheart. I’m just so afraid of losing you.” 

 Distantly he heard the sound of sirens approaching through the phone. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to take a deep breath. Help was there. TK was getting the help he needed. Carlos only hoped it would be enough. He could hear the sounds of doors opening now, shouts of instructions being given. They were on their way to him. 

 He just had one more thing to say. 

 “I love you TK,” he said quietly as the voices and sounds of the first responders grew closer, “don’t leave me yet.” 

----------- 

Someday you may not get so lucky, and where will we be then?!

 It was the last thing he had said to TK. He had spent every agonizing minute of waiting trying to remember what it had been. Now that he knew, he wished he could forget. 

 He sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, leg bouncing anxiously. This was a sadly familiar experience, he had been here too many times before. But this time felt different. 

 TK had been in a car accident - a hit and run from what they had been able to determine so far. He had been trapped and in pain, and he had tried to call for help. He had tried to call Carlos for help, and he had ignored him. It went against everything that Carlos had thought he stood for. It went against every promise he had ever made to TK. 

 The sound of frantic footsteps echoed across the surprisingly empty waiting room, but it wasn’t until Michelle stood that Carlos looked up. Owen Strand was standing before them, far more rumpled than usual with a panicked look in his eyes. 

 “What happened?” he asked, voice filled with the panic so evident in every feature. 

 Michelle gently guided him to the chair beside Carlos before settling into one across from them. With a calm and steady voice (bless her), she explained: “TK was in an accident. It looks like it was a hit and run. He called Carlos and I was with him, so I called 911. I haven’t gotten much in the way of specifics yet, but unfortunately it looks like he was hurt pretty badly. A doctor should be out soon though to tell us more.” 

 Owen nodded, running a hand through his hair as he processed. It was such a familiar gesture - something Carlos had seen TK do a hundred times - that it caused him physical pain. He sat quietly, giving Owen time to process, to ask the questions he would inevitably have. 

 It comes sooner than he would have hoped. He could see the moment it clicked in Owen’s head; the moment the pieces didn’t fall into place. He turned to Carlos with a curious expression and it was all Carlos could do not to shy away. He faced all sorts of nefarious characters at work without blinking, but the worry and confusion from his boyfriend’s father was almost enough to cause him to turn tail and run. 

 “Wasn’t TK with you tonight? Where would he have been going?” 

 Owen looked from Carlos to Michelle, hoping that someone could give him answers; that someone could make this make sense. Michelle gave Carlos a questioning look, but he shook his head. He had to own up to this at some point - no reason to delay the inevitable. 

 “We had a fight,” he said, almost startled by the sound of his own voice. “We had a fight, and he left.” 

 Owen nodded, patting Carlos’s knees comfortingly. “This isn’t your fault Carlos,” he said gently. 

 Carlos swallowed. He knew the guilt and shame must be rolling off him in waves for Owen to have picked up on it so quickly, but Carlos doubted he would be as sympathetic if he knew. But this was a sin he couldn’t keep to himself. 

 He took a deep breath and continued, voice shaky, “that’s not all. He...he called me. He called me and I was still angry and I didn’t answer. He was hurt and scared and dying, and I declined his calls. Twice.” 

 Owen took a deep breath and Carlos waited for his recrimination. It never came. Instead, when he turned to face Carlos again his expression was sad, but sympathetic.

 “But you answered, and that’s what matters.” 

 Carlos tried to argue, tried to point out that he had ignored a call for help (twice), but Owen simply shook his head, “You’re only human Carlos. You’re allowed to have emotions. Besides, you had no way of knowing what had happened. You had no way of knowing he was in trouble.”

 Carlos let those words sink into his skin. He didn’t deserve them. “I still should have answered. I’ve always told him I would always be there for him, and then I wasn’t when it mattered.” 

 Owen looked at him sadly and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You answered and that is all that matters. Answering that last call could be the only reason he has even a chance of pulling through this. You were there for him, and he’ll tell you the same thing.” 

 There were a hundred things Carlos wanted to say. He wanted to say Owen couldn’t possibly know that, that they had no way of knowing if pulling through was even an option. He wanted to say that TK was angry enough when he left to never want to speak to him again. He wanted to say that he might have actually screwed this thing up, that there might be no going back. He wanted to say that from the one glimpse he had had of TK as they rushed him from the ambulance to the trauma room it was very likely they would never have that chance. 

 But Owen didn’t need to know any of that, so instead he simply gave him a tight smile and nodded. 

 The hours dragged by and familiar faces filtered in and out of the waiting room. The rest of the 126 arrived one by one as they heard. He accepted Marjan’s offered coffee with a tight, false smile but otherwise only nodded in acknowledgment of anyone’s attempt to speak to him, to comfort him. The fear in their expressions drove through him like a spike, hollowing out room for his own fears and guilt to amplify. Every so often a doctor or nurse would stop by with an update and while the group as a whole held on to every word, most of them did not even process to Carlos. 

  Punctured lung, internal bleeding, damage to the spleen and left kidney, possible tbi, broken clavicle…

 It was all too much. The doctors at least seemed to agree. Each one they spoke to seemed grim and serious. They talked treatment options, they talked worst-case scenarios. Owen simply nodded along, listening closely, and looking to Michelle for her opinion. Most of all he did a terrible job of masking the fear in his eyes.  

 At some point, Grace showed up, straight from dispatch and still in her uniform. She headed straight for Owen and Carlos, giving them each a kiss on the forehead. She lingered at Carlos, meeting his eyes. “He still loves you too, no matter what,” she said softly. 

 With a start, he realized she must have been the dispatcher to take the call, that she had heard his end of the desperate one-sided conversation. He nodded weakly and she smiled at him - a soft and gentle thing - before crossing over to sit next to Judd and take his hands in her own. 

 Eventually the doctor appears again with an expression not so grim as before. Owen stood nervously, hands trembling at his sides. The rest of them watched quietly, waiting to know which had won: their hopes or their fears. 

 The doctor graced them with a tired smile, “He should be fine. There was a lot of damage, but he should pull through. The surgery to repair the internal bleeding and damage to the kidney and spleen was successful and the broken clavicle has been set. He’ll be moved to recovery shortly and it’ll be a while until he wakes up, but you’re welcome to sit with him. It can only help.”

 Owen nodded, stepping forward to grab the doctor’s hand in thanks. “Thank you for saving my son,” he said softly, voice dampened by the emotion running through it. 

 The doctor waved off his thanks, “I feel like I should be thanking him - it’s always a good feeling to be able to give good news. I’ll make sure someone comes to get you once he’s settled.” 

 With a last nod to the rest of the group, the doctor was gone and Owen turned to face them all. His face was covered by a wide grin, he seemed taller now than he had a few minutes ago with all the fears weighing down. “He’s going to be okay,” he repeated as if they all hadn’t been listening to every word the doctor said just as eagerly. 

 There was a flurry of activity as the group seemed to come alive again, all talking at once and smiling again. Carlos leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.  He was going to be okay.  He repeated it over and over again to himself like a mantra.  He was going to be okay. 

  We still have time to fix this, was the other thought that occupied his mind. And he intended too, the first chance he got. 

 Eventually, it was decided that the rest of the crew would leave, go home and sleep in their own beds and come back tomorrow morning to see TK when he would hopefully be awake and more lucid than the aftermath of major surgery would allow. Carlos watched them go, unsure where his place was. He sent a pleading look at Michelle, who gave him a reassuring smile as she gathered her things. Before he could ask, could voice the doubts in his head he felt a hand on his arm. 

 He looked up to find Owen gazing at him, “You and I will stick around and go in as soon as we’re allowed, if you’re up for it.” 

 Carlos released a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding and nodded. Owen gave him a tight smile, “whatever this is, you’ll figure it out.” 

 Carlos smiled at the older man, but secretly he wished he had his confidence. From where he sat, nothing was certain - least of all that. It was okay though, he told himself. TK was alive and as long as that was true, Carlos could manage anything. 

 Still, there was a gnawing feeling of dread in his gut. When he and Owen were alone in the waiting room he finally gave voice to it: “He might not want to see me. It might make him too upset. I don’t want…” 

 “Carlos,” Owen said firmly, cutting him off, “stop. You’re coming with me. If, when he wakes up, TK says he doesn’t want to see you, then you can leave. But I happen to know my son pretty well and I am fairly certain that having you not be there when he wakes up would make him feel even worse.” 

 Carlos nodded, and Owen’s expression softened, “Couples do fight from time to time. I know you two don’t usually, but you’re rather the exception to that I guess. That doesn’t mean you’re perfect, it just means that when it does happen it’s going to feel that much worse and take that much more work to fix things. You’re just going to have to trust in each other. You both know how you feel about each other - hell, we all know how you feel about each other. You love each other and at the end of the day, that is what matters. Trust in that, and everything will be okay.” 

 Owen’s words brought tears to his eyes, but he swiped them away before looking up and giving him a smile, “Thanks,” he said softly and Owen smiled back at him, reaching over to give his leg a comforting squeeze. 

 “No need to thank me, I’d do anything for the two of you. Besides, I’ve got the easy part. You two have the real work to do.” 

 They lapsed into a comfortable silence until a nurse came by to inform them that TK was in recovery. They followed him around the corner to a non-descript door. 

 “It’ll be a while before he wakes up still,” the nurse told them as he pushed open the door, “but I’m sure you’ll both be happier waiting in here.”

 They thanked him and entered the room. Carlos barely made it across the threshold before he stopped, frozen by the sight before them.  

 TK was there in the bed. At least, he assumed it was TK. Almost every inch of the left side of his body was covered in bruises or bandages. His left arm was secured with a sling; he looked so still and unnatural in that bed. He looked so unlike himself. You would think for the number of times he ended up getting himself hurt this would get easier, but it never did. 

 Carlos was startled from his stupor by a strangled sound coming from beside him. He turned to find Owen staring at TK, eyes wide and beginning to fill with tears. He seemed frozen in shock or horror, rooted to the spot by the door. Carlos understood completely. He gently reached out to grab Owen’s arm, guiding him to one of the chairs by the bed. He stepped back and watched as Owen reached out with trembling hands to grasp TK’s, lying limply on the blankets. He quietly sat in the other chair, watching the scene before him. Owen was speaking quietly to his son, running a tender hand through his hair. As much as he longed to join him, as much as he wanted to have proof for himself that TK was really still alive; he knew that Owen needed this. 

 The man loved his son more than anything else in the world and ever since this whole nightmare had begun he had kept up a brave front. He had supported Carlos, he had reassured the team. But now, out of other people to focus on and faced with the reality of tonight’s events, he needed some time. Carlos intended to give it to him. He settled into the chair and took a deep breath before closing his eyes. Hours of fear and panic had worn on him, and now in the relative calm, he allowed the exhaustion to settle into his bones as he drifted off into a restless sleep. 

---------- 

 Carlos was awakened by the sound of soft voices. He blinked several times, trying to figure out why the hell there were people in his bedroom before the feeling of a chair in his back and the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor guided him back to reality. He sat up with a start, eyes roving his surroundings frantically until the sight before him caused his racing heart to still. 

 Owen was sitting on the edge of TK’s hospital bed, talking quietly with him. TK was listening, offering a small smile in response to whatever it was his dad had said. He was awake. 

 It was a miracle unlike anything Carlos had ever seen. He couldn’t stop staring. Eventually, TK felt his gaze and looked past his father to meet Carlos’s eyes. 

 “Hi,” he said softly, voice weak but worlds away from how it had sounded over that fateful call. 

 “Hi,” Carlos responded lamely. 

 Owen looked between the two of them. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of TK’s head before pulling himself off the side of the bed. “I’m going to go make some calls and update the rest of the crew. I’ll leave you two alone for a bit; give you some space to talk. Just, try not to get any more traumatic injuries while I’m gone?” 

 TK chuckled, “I’ll do my best Dad,” he promised. Owen smiled at him before clapping Carlos on the shoulder and walking away. There was silence in the wake of his footsteps before Carlos pulled himself out of the chair and stepped closer to the bed. He hovered a few feet away, unwilling to get to close if TK didn’t want him there yet. 

 “How are you feeling?” he asked nervously, taking another look at him. The bruises had darkened while he had slept, ugly splotches of pain decorating his skin in stark contrast. 

 TK went to shrug, but winced when he jostled his shoulder, “Kind of like my entire body is one giant bruise, but I’ll be fine.” 

 Carlos nodded tapping his fingers anxiously on his thigh, “Do you need anything?” he asked, uncertain of where to go from here. 

 “Actually yes,” TK said and Carlos stilled his anxious fidgeting.

 “What is it? I can get...” 

 “I need to tell you how sorry I am,” TK said, interrupting Carlos’s nervous rambling. He stopped talking and returned his gaze to TK, who held it. He closed the distance between them, stopping at the edge of his bed. 

 “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he said quietly, unsurprised by the tears he felt forming in his eyes. “God Ty I am so…” 

 But TK shook his head, “You had no way of knowing, none of this is your fault.” 

 Carlos shook his head more adamantly, “No, I shouldn't have done that. I’ve always promised you I would always be there for you, and I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know exactly what trouble you were in, I made you a promise and I should have kept it. I am so, so sorry.” 

 TK smiled at him sadly, reaching out his good arm to wipe away the tears on Carlos’s face. “Which is one of the many reasons why I will always think you are one of the best people I have ever had the pleasure to know. But it doesn’t change the facts Carlos - you’re allowed to make mistakes. Trust me, I’ve made more than my fair share, I know what I am talking about.” 

 Carlos gave a weak, watery laugh as TK moved his hand from Carlos’s face down to grasp Carlos’s hand with his own. 

 “I’m not mad at you Carlos,” he told him gently, “Not for that - never for that.”

 Carlos gripped the hand holding his tighter, “I’m just so glad you’re okay. If you weren’t and I hadn’t answered those calls...I don’t think I would have been able to live with myself.” 

 TK shook his head firmly, “It wasn’t your fault. No matter what happens Carlos, I don’t want you to ever feel that way. Not on account of me, not ever.” 

 He met Carlos’s eyes again, expression serious. They held each other’s gazes for a few moments before TK’s softened, “That’s why I called back the third time. I...wanted to make sure you knew I didn’t blame you, no matter what. I needed you to know how sorry I was, about everything.” 

 Carlos nodded, “I’m sorry too. I should have been more upfront about how I was feeling, about how scared I was of losing you. Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know?” 

 “No,” TK agreed softly, “it doesn’t.” 

 They lapsed into a comfortable silence, tethered together by their clasped hands and soaking in the warmth of each others’ presence. 

 “There was another reason I called you again that third time,” TK said eventually, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

 “What was the other reason?” Carlos asked. 

 “I needed to remind you how much I loved you. I couldn’t leave without being sure you knew that.” 

 Carlos swallowed thickly at that. It was a grim reminder of how close they had been to a permanent end, how lucky they were to be here together at all. He slid onto the edge of the bed, leaning forward and pulling TK into a kiss. It was a desperate kiss; filled with all the fear he had felt, all the love he always felt for this man. He pulled back to breathe, to wipe away fresh tears. But then he felt himself tugged forward and he went without objection, leaning back in and meeting TK for another kiss, this one slower; more patient. This was the kiss they could share every day, for as long as they had. 

 Carlos just hoped that could be a very long time. He intended to do everything he could to ensure it was. 

 As they separated Carlos rested his forehead on TK’s. “I love you too,” he said softly, “more than I have ever loved anyone. You’re it for me TK, I hope you know that. You’re stuck with me.  As long as you want me, I’m yours.”

 As close as they were Carlos could see the corners of TK’s mouth lift as he smiled, “Then I hope you were planning on forever, because that’s the only answer I will accept from you, Carlos Reyes.”

 Carlos chuckled and nodded, pulling away just enough that he could meet TK’s eyes, “Forever sounds like a plan to me.”  

[Read on Ao3 - leave a comment if you’d like!]

[suchalonelysunflower]

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader

Summary: You overhear something you shouldn’t hear. But Calum will make it right, won’t he?

Warnings: ANGST. Language (including insults), mentions of alcohol, drugs and cheating. MC with low self esteem. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4 k

Author’s Note: hi I’m back with the angsty shit. This is very self indulgent, and I put Mitchy as a bad guy here, so sorry if you like him? Reblogs, Commets, Feedback and likes are very welcomed and encouraged! I love to hear from you guys ❤️ hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

You sighed as you finished your last paper. It was finals week and you were officially done with your exams and term papers for the semester. The last couple of weeks were rough and no one knew that more than you and your boyfriend Calum who has been by your side through this whole stressing process.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the encouraging words that Calum often said to you. He knew how hard you worked in school and at your part time job in a law firm, and you appreciated how much he cared for you in times of stress and frustrations. Always cheering you up from the bleechers as you made a name for yourself.

Calum promised that once you were done with school for the semester, he was going to take you out on a well deserved Holiday, just the two of you and Duke as you celebrated another six months worth of work done. Everything was already planned for the next weekend and you couldn’t wait.

You reread your final essay one more time and decided that it was enough for today and if there were any mistakes left, then you’ll deal with them tomorrow. Now the only thing in your mind was a cozy blanket and a feel good movie. But first, you needed to get some food and drinks for your mini celebratory self care session.

The thought of asking Calum to come join you crossed your mind, but you quickly remembered that tonight was boys night. Every couple of weeks Calum and his friends have a little night out to catch up and decompress all of the stress of the week. Tonight was Calum’s turn to host boys night as they decided to have a quiet night in, so they must be having a good time downstairs and you didn’t want to ruin the mood.

With that thought in mind, you carefully placed your laptop on Calum’s side of the bed and carefully untangled your legs from under the covers so you wouldn't wake up Duke, who snuggled with you every time you had to work to keep you company. You put on one of Calum’s hoodies and headed downstairs trying your best to not make any sound.

Before you even reached the last step of the stairs, you could already hear your boyfriend’s laugh and it made your heart flutter. Even after almost three years of being together, his laugh still gives you butterflies every time you hear it, falling even more in love than what is possible.

Once you were in the kitchen, you started looking into the cupboards as you searched for your favorite snacks, but in the end you were unable to find any, thinking that maybe Calum has hidden them somewhere on the top shelves where he knows you can’t reach.

Letting out a small huff, you debated with yourself the option of climbing up the counter or admitting defeat and go ask your boyfriend for some help. Luckily, you didn’t have to decide as you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite scholar” Said Ashton with a light chuckle “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out tonight since it’s boys night”

You smiled as you let him wrap his arms around you to give you a hug. Ashton was the first friend you made when you moved to LA a couple of years back, he was the one who introduced you to Calum in the first place, and you were very thankful for having him as a best friend.

“I had to finish up some term papers, so I had to reschedule my girl’s night for tomorrow” You explained to the black haired man “And what are you doing here? Need a refill?” You ask, pointing to the empty glass he was holding.

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, but I also needed a time out. Mitchy is kinda being very obnoxious today” He said with a sigh.

Mitchy Collins was a close friend with the boys for many years now, but you can’t say that he is a friend of yours. It’s not like you haven’t tried to befriend the singer, on the contrary, you both had multiple chances to get to know each other but he either ignored you or made things very awkward between you. And, to be honest, you were not that excited to become his friend either. There was something weird about him, a bad vibe per se, that made you not trust him at all. He was always very loud, obnoxious and downright rude sometimes and it made you very uncomfortable. Both Calum and Ashton knew about your uneasiness with Mitchy, so they didn’t push it too far and you were thankful for that.

“Oh?” You asked, trying to mask your discomfort “What is he saying this time?”

“Just a bunch of bullshit, to be honest. He is very high right now and thinks he’s above everyone else” Ashton said, taking a seat on one of the kitchen island stools. You did the same as you offered him a glass of water.

“Are you high right now?” You chuckled.

“Nope. Calum and I decided to stay clean tonight cause tomorrow we start early in the studio and the weed kinda messes up our pipes” He explains.

“What about Luke and Mikey?”

“They are not here yet, they said they needed to finish up something for a song and then they will meet us here” Ashton shrugged, not giving it too much importance “And what about you, darling? How was your day?”

You began to tell Ashton about how you finally finished the semester and how excited you were for your little getaway with Calum next week. However, every couple of minutes you were interrupted by a loud laugh or an obnoxious comment coming from the living room where the rest of the boys were sitting. Sometimes their loud comments started loud conversations that neither of you could help but overhear, but you did your best to ignore them. But some things are easier said than done.

“I’m telling you man! You can do so much better” You heard Mitchy’s voice echoing through the house, followed by a chuckle from Calum who mumbled something among the lines of “Fuck off”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you stopped the conversation you had with Ashton in order to pay attention to what was being said down the hall. You looked at Ash with a confused face, wondering what they could be saying but at the same time not knowing if you should continue listening to their private affairs. You were about to open up your mouth to continue what you were saying until another comment made by Mitchy caught your attention.

“You have to admit she is the worst sometimes. All she does is boss you around like you are some kind of puppet. She is the definition of annoying”

You sat up straight as you looked at Ashton, who mirrored your puzzled expression.

“Is- is he talking about me?” You asked in a whisper.

Ashton shook his head “I don’t thi-”

“I swear! What does she even do besides work and study all the time? She barely has time for you. You said it yourself! And when she’s not doing any of those things? She’s nagging around and clinging to you like you’re a damn purse! That’s who Y/N is”

You froze in the spot. So they were talking about you… and did Calum really say you don’t have time for him? You don’t even get time to yourself and he knows that! He said he was okay with it, that he understood and supported you through and through… Guess not.

“I still don’t know what you saw in her, dude. She’s just plain boring, playing to be a good girl when in reality she has zero personality” He continued his rant “She does nothing for you! Honestly! I’m surprised you made it this far with that bitch”

You knew that wasn’t true. He never really made an effort to get to know you! how could he be saying all those stuff? You did everything for Calum, all your goals, your plans are for the both of you. How could he know that if he never really talked to you? But you had to admit that that first comment really hurt. You were always doubting yourself at the beginning of your relationship with Calum, always feeling like you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or smart or fun or hot… To fight off those kinds of feelings was a difficult job to say the least, but Calum was always there to fight them with you, reassuring you that he loved you. He loved every part of you and he will love you forever.

“Is she at least a decent fuck? Cause I don’t see her doing anything remotely interesting in bed” Mitchy laughed “If she’s not she’s just wasting your time”

You noticed how Ashton suddenly stiffened next to you when he heard Mitchy’s comments. His knuckles turned white as he gripped his fists at the side of his body “Okay, that’s enough” But you were quicker, grabbing onto his shirt as a sign to make him stay there with you and not cause a scene.

His eyes found yours and you could see the anger build up on them, you knew that he would defend you no matter what and you loved him for that. But you knew Calum would defend you over there, he wouldn't let him talk about you that way.

“Ash, please” You pleaded, tugging on his shirt for him to take a seat again. But he preferred to stay standing next to you, almost like guarding and shielding you from any other comment that might hurt your feelings.

“I can’t let him talk about you like that!” He hissed. But you just shook your head.

“I know, Ash. I know. But Cal will handle it” You said confidently, trying to keep yourself together.

You knew Calum would not let those comments slide. Even if you weren’t in the room with him, those comments were awful and very hurtful, no one deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone as close as a friend of his.

You waited for his intervention, but your heart crushed when the only thing you heard from him were laughs.

“She’s a good fuck” That’s all he said.

The grip you had on Ashton’s shirt suddenly flattered as you fought the lump in your throat “Y-you said he wasn’t high” You whispered to Ashton, who was just as frozen as you were after hearing his best mate’s comment.

“He’s not” He said, standing tall next to you. As much as he wanted to go in there and give the guys an earful, he knew you needed him here with you.

Out of all the things Mitchy has said, out of all the insults and belitments, that’s what he says? That you’re a good fuck?

You knew that you could be annoying sometimes when you got happy. You just wanted to share that happiness with everyone around you and you thought… you thought that Calum liked that. You were not a bad girlfriend, you always tried your best to make him as happy as he makes you; to love him as much as he loves you, cause he loves you. Doesn’t he?

If he loves you then why is he letting his friend say all of this stuff about you? Why is he not saying anything? Does- does he agree with him?

The tears started rolling silently, half of you not believing what you were hearing while the other half clang to the idea of Calum defending you at some point.

“Oh I know!” Said Mitchy after a while “I can introduce you to someone! Right now, actually. Her name’s Vanessa and she’s crazy hot, dude”

He can’t be serious.

Ashton looked at you with pleading, furious eyes. Almost begging you to go and let him deal with them. But you grabbed his hand and made him stay. This has to be it. This has to be the chance for Calum to say something.

“You’re kidding right?” The curly haired man asked. Making you let out a breath of relief.

“Not at all! Think about it. We go, you meet her, you fuck her and done!” He said like it was nothing “Y/N will never find out cause she’s stuck up her ass. Your fans will never know or they won’t care cause they don’t even know you are in a ”relationship” to begin with! You are single to their eyes. And you get a decent fuck from someone who looks the part and knows how to have fun! It’s a win - win!”

Your heart stopped as you waited for Calum to answer. To tell Mitchy to go fuck himself. To tell him that he loves you and would never do that to you.

“I don’t know, man. I’ll think about it” Calum shrugged “Plus, if we go out I’ll have to tell Y/N. She’s upstairs finishing some shit for her university”

“Fucking hell… see! I told you! A stuck up bitch” Mitchy said, making Calum laugh.

But their laughs and the rest of the conversation grew numb to your ears. Your body trembled as the tears came flooding in, holding in the sobs that were tearing up your throat. How could he? He was really thinking of cheating on you.

You could feel every little piece of your heart shattered as you search for some kind of leverage that could hold you still so you don’t fall and break. You felt ill, disgusted and heartbroken.

As you tried to get up, you felt your knees buckle and almost fell to the ground if it weren’t for Ashton holding you up. He was still there and you knew by the look in his eyes that he was not going anywhere.

He was just as disgusted and angry as you. He couldn’t believe all the things that were said tonight, all the things that Calum failed to make it right and hurt you in the process. He knew that if he were in that room that the conversation would’ve died the moment it started. He would never let them talk about you that way.

“I-I can’t-“ You cried, moments away from hyperventilating “I can’t stay here, Ash”

He nodded, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head for reassurance “Go upstairs, love. Grab your stuff and we’re getting out of here. You’re staying with me tonight, okay?” Ashton let go of you and started walking towards the living room where the rest of the guys were still talking.

“Ash” You called, making him turn around “D-don’t make a scene, please”

He sighed as he muttered a quiet “okay” before turning around, leaving you alone as you went upstairs to grab the bare necessities to spend the night, you’ll figure out the rest later. Right now you just needed to get out of here.

You opened the bedroom door and almost collapsed at the entrance. Duke came running towards you, sensing that there was something wrong as he started to whine and tried to jump into your arms. That only made you cry harder as you realized that you were leaving him too. You fell to the floor and patted the puppy as he tried to wipe off your tears with his tongue, breaking your heart even more.

A loud voice cut you out of your thoughts. You could hear Ashton yelling, although you couldn’t exactly figure out what he was saying. This meant that Calum knew you heard everything and that, if he had at least some decency left in him, he would come and get you. You needed to act fast.

You stood up and grabbed the first big bag that you could find. Inside of it you threw your laptop, your books, your charger, some clothes and some bathroom essentials. You debated on whether or not to take with you a picture of you, Calum and Duke… it was your favorite memory with them. But the damage was stronger than the nostalgia, so you threw that picture to the ground before you left the room that once belonged to you.

You were running down the stairs when you passed Calum running up them. You ignored him as he stopped in his tracks and followed you to the hall.

“Y/N!” He said, desperate to try and stop you “Y/N, baby, please! Hear me out!”

“Hear what?! I already heard enough!” You said as you turned around.

Calum’s face was almost unrecognizable. The fear in his eyes, the desperation in his voice and his close off body language was not something you’d normally see in him. The “I fucked up” expression showed all the regret in the world, yet you didn’t seem to care at the moment.

“I. Heard. All of it, Calum” You cried through gritted teeth, anger boiling inside of you as you stared at the man you thought you’d marry “All of it and not once did I hear you say something to try and defend me. How do you think that made me feel?!”

“Baby-“ He tried, but you cut him off.

“I work my ass off all day and night for you, for us. For me to go and see you on tour like you ask me to, knowing damn well I would go to the ends of this fucking earth for you! Catching up extra classes and shifts so I can go with you. I cancel everything to be with you. I gave up everything for us to be together. I barely even have time for myself as I try my best to be something worthy of you!” Your tears were staining your face, but you pushed away the pain for a moment, knowing that once you break down it’s over “I try my best to be a good girlfriend, a good friend! I loved you with all my heart and this is what I get after almost three years? A good fuck? That 's it?”

Calum’s world fell to the floor as he tried hard to fight off the lump in his throat, whispering in a broken voice “Loved?”

“That’s all you get from it?” You ask defeated “Calum I would’ve never let my friends call you names, insult you or offend you in any way. I would’ve gone to the ends of the world for you, defended you till the day I die. All because I trusted you to do the same for me and you failed me, Calum. You broke me. You let him call me a bitch, a stuck up, worthless, stupid, bossy, annoying… should I go on? Cause those words are now printed in my memory, next to you agreeing to all of those things. Is that what you think of me?”

“Baby, I swear it’s not like that!” He said, grabbing your hand and trying to make you stay “I fucked up! I know! You are right, I failed you and you don’t know how much I hate myself for it! But please, love. You know I could never think of you like that… you are the most wonderful person there is! You are kind, smart, loving, beautiful-“

“Did you cheat on me?” You ask bluntly.

“What?”

“Did you cheat on me?”

“No!” Calum said instantly “No, I would never!”

You nodded “Yet, you thought of it.”

Calum opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off again “Is that why you never made our relationship public? So you could have a free pass whenever you want to? Cause I thought it was to protect our privacy, for us to have a normal life in the midst of the chaos that is to date a celebrity. When you told all of that I thought “wow, this is a guy with integrity and with values” Yet I don’t know what to believe now. I thought you loved me-“

“I do love you-“

“I thought you loved me” You said, the tears were already dry as the anger came flooding in “But you don’t hurt the people you love. You don’t break them like you did to me. You don’t let anyone hurt them, even if they are not in the room with you. And you don’t cheat on them like you were going to tonight with that girl Vanessa while I waited here like an idiot for you to come home and spend some time with me”

You pull your hand out of his grasp, holding onto your bag as you heard Calum cry “Y/N-“

“You are free to do whatever you want now, Calum. Cause to the eyes of your fans you are single, and I am as well”

You turned around and saw Ashton waiting by the door with his keys in his hand. He opened up the door for you as you walked by, ignoring all of Calum’s pleads for you to stay.

“So you are just going to leave?!” He yelled, not knowing what else to do. “Whe- Where are you taking her Ashton?”

The black haired man made sure that you were already sitting in his car before turning around to face his friend “I’m taking here with me and away from you cause that’s what she needs now. So don’t bother calling or showing up cause you are not welcome right now. And don’t even try to call Luke or Michael cause they already know and we won’t support you on this” Ashton said as calm as he could. He already told him off, but the anger of seeing you cry in front of him still resided in him.

“I- I love her , Ash! You can’t just take her away from me. I’m her boyfriend!”

“Correction, you were her boyfriend. And I can take her away and I will cause she asked me to” He said taking an intimidating step closer to Calum “Cause while you were here talking trash about her behind her back, planning on how to cheat on her. I was back there, holding her while she broke down crying cause she couldn’t believe that her boyfriend didn’t stand up for her and let a fucking stranger insult her all night long! You weren’t there to see her eyes water or her lip tremble. You weren’t there when she begged me with tears in her eyes to not make a scene cause all she wanted to do was to get out of here. She is the most amazing person ever, she is a light in all of our lives and you extinguished her without a second thought. You might be my friend, but she is too and I love her and I will defend her no matter what, she doesn’t deserve this kind of crap you just showed to her. So don’t count on me to try and help you get her back, I won’t blame her if she doesn’t”

Calum felt small as Ashton walked away from him, closing the door with a bang and leaving him all alone in his big house. Well, almost.

“Dude, that was intense” Mitchy laughed as he placed a hand on Calum’s shoulder “So, wanna go now?”

A blind rage fell over Calum as he heard the mocking laughs of his so-called friend, acting like his life just didn’t fall apart in front of him.

Calum grabbed the singer by the neck of his shirt and pushed him forcefully against the wall “You are going to get out of my house and never come back. You hear me?!” He yelled to his face, almost letting out steam from his nostrils as he was sure he could kill him right now.

“Dude, what’s wrong with yo-“

Calum quickly grabbed a bottle from his nearby mini bar, suddenly gaining all the courage he should’ve had hours ago, and throwed it to Mitchy’s feet, making him jump “Get the fuck out!” He yelled, grabbing bottle after bottle, glass after glass and throwing them into the ground “OUT!”

Only when the last bottle was smashed into pieces did he realize he was completely alone.

And only then did he allow himself to cry for the loss of the love of his life, walking away from him and leaving him to pick up the pieces of two broken hearts.

part 2

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

[swan--writes]

Can you please do a Dewey x Reader with the song ‘Naked’ by James Arthur?

What a song to end my requests on, damn. Thank you for requesting this, whoever you are. Now, allow me to make this entirely about myself.

A bit more than a year ago, I had an opportunity to say something to somebody, and while I meant everything I said to him, I didn’t say everything I meant. This is what I should have said.

Warnings: a breakup

Words: 1,540

Hey, you there.

Shirts, socks, pants, toothbrush, chord charts, guitar picks – including the one that had fallen behind the radiator in your living room and you’d never bothered to fish out.

Can we take it to the next level, baby, do you dare?

By the time you had all of Dewey’s things together in the gym bag you never used it was mostly dark outside. Cloudy skies again, but you felt clearer than you had in months. Since you started dating Dewey. You cared about him, more than you could express in just one day. It would likely take months for you to fully process your feelings. But enough of them had made it into the clearing of what mental space you could spare for you to know what needed to happen now.

Dewey needed to leave.

‘Cause if you can’t say the words…

You had been waiting long enough.

I don’t know why I should care.

You were sitting on the couch beside the bag when he got to your place from work.

“Hey, babe!” he greeted you, breathless, eyes shining. He stomped the snow from his boots and kicked them off at the door. What little of his face you could see between his hat and scarf was red from the cold. His nose was especially bright.

Dewey was adorable, and the thought was a pang in your heart. Still, you waited patiently for him to finish filling you in on his day so you could tell him what was on your mind. No going back now.

“…so Freddy’s losing his friggin’ mind at this point, Lawrence can’t focus on what he’s doing, the backup singers have stopped. And then April comes in with this sick riff and Freddy loses track of what he’s doing…” Dewey collapsed onto the couch on the other side of the bag. You just watched him. “Those kids are amazing, I swear.”

Yeah, I’m right here…

Dewey leaned his arm on the gym bag and shook his head. Then he stopped, frowned, and looked down at the bag. “Hey, babe?”

“Hm.”

“What’s this doing out here?” For the first time since arriving at your apartment, Dewey looked at your face. Panic immediately spiked in his eyes. “What?”

I’m trying to make it clear…

“We need to talk,” you said quietly. This wasn’t the way you wanted to start, but what else were you supposed to say?

That getting half of you just ain’t enough.

Dewey hesitated, but shifted to face you more fully. “Okay. What’s up?” He tried to laugh, but it seemed to get caught somewhere in his throat.

You took a breath, trying not to be too dramatic but needing to steady yourself. “Okay,” you muttered. Then you turned your gaze fully to your partner.

I’m standing here naked.

“We don’t fit into each other’s lives as well as we used to,” you said. “I know you’ve been busy, and you know I have been too. But I have been trying to make a space for you, and I’m not really feeling that from you.”

Dewey tried to give you a look. “Well, that’s not really–”

You held up a hand. “Let me say this.”

More surprised than anything, it seemed, Dewey closed his mouth. You took another short breath and pressed on with your rehearsed monologue.

The mirrors in your apartment had probably had enough of you.

“Now, I know that I have a tendency to worry about my relationships--all of my relationships when they start feeling distant.” That much was true. “But I also know that if I don’t trust my instincts, I usually end up out on my ass.” That was also true.

You laughed then, lightly, trying to lift some of the heaviness between the two of you. The corners of Dewey’s mouth turned up ever so slightly, and you silently congratulated yourself.

“And what my instincts are telling me is to screw censoring my feelings. Because I have been,” you admitted. Dewey nodded, possibly in understanding, or maybe in agreement – you weren’t sure. Still, you continued and said, for the first time, “I kinda love you, Dewey.”

He stopped moving.

You rolled your eyes at yourself. “No, not ‘kinda.’ I do.” You looked at him again. He seemed paler than usual, but he was maintaining a poker face. “And I know you don’t feel the same, and I wish I could be okay with that. But, um…” You tried to keep from twisting your lips. Dewey said your name, but you held up a hand again. Your hand was shaking. You decided not to care. “But it’s not.”

Hey, get out.

“Maybe it’s a matter of time – or timing – or maybe it’s not. I don’t think it really matters. We’ve been together for four months, and I’m already the one who cares more.”

I’ve got nothing left to give, and you give me nothing now.

“Again,” you muttered, mostly to yourself and looking at the back of the couch rather than at Dewey. He was still watching you. “And I think it’ll probably stay that way.”

“Do you?” Dewey asked faintly.

“Yeah, my heart doesn’t like to let people go. It’s kinda stubborn that way.”

“And you don’t think that I’ll…” He swallowed. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t care about you.”

“I know.”

“‘Cause I do. I care a lot. I think you’re amazing.”

“I--yeah, you too.” You tried to keep your tone self-aware enough that he would get the joke. He seemed to.

“I’m just not–”

“I know. But I am.”

I wanna give you everything.

For the first time since Dewey had sat down, you checked in with yourself. Your heart was throbbing. You had known this would be hard, but God, this sucked. Then again, this was also the most honest you had ever been with Dewey.

In the four months that you had been together, you had connected at least a hundred times over dozens of subjects. Dewey got you. He got you in a way you weren’t sure you would ever find again, and the thought was terrifying. So you had put this off. When he started cancelling your plans at the last minute, for reasons he had ‘forgotten’ to tell you about, you set your frustration aside. When he started forgetting you existed unless you were directly in front of him, you brushed off the hurt. When he stopped making plans with you altogether, you tried to get over it. You really, really tried.

He wasn’t as bad as all that, really. Dewey had bright eyes that seemed to glimmer when he was excited about something. He had clusters of freckles across his back that danced in the morning sun. His laugh was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Dewey was kind (mostly), and reliable (when he wanted), and thoughtful (usually), and brilliant (always) and stunning. Yes, he was stunning most of all.

And you loved him. You loved Smart Dewey, and Drunk Dewey, and Musical Dewey, and 2AM Dewey making weird noises and dancing around the room. You loved his wild hair, his smile, the way he would prod at you when he wanted to understand something. His sloping shoulders and soft lines. How could you ever have not loved him? From minute one you hadn’t stood a chance.

It sucked.

And it was only a matter of time until it all boiled over and you both fell apart. You would always love him; you knew that in a way you had never known anything before. You also knew that letting go now was the right thing to do.

I’m not gonna wait until you’re gone.

“I don’t know if this hurts you, but if it does, I’m sorry I have to do it.” You had never been this honest with him before, and the look in Dewey’s eyes told you that he knew it.

‘Cause you pretended you don’t need anyone.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry for being an asshole.”

“Thanks.”

Can’t you see that I’m naked?

“Will I see you again?” he asked.

Your mouth formed a solid line, and you suspected you had that small frown above your nose you only got when you didn’t know what to say.

Dewey looked away. “Oh.” He nodded. “Okay.”

See that I’m naked!

Your ex-partner wrapped his hand around the handles of his gym bag without asking what was in it. He had to know. He stood and walked back to the door, and set the bag down.

I’m not gonna try until you decide…

Dewey put on his coat, then his scarf, then his hat, then his boots. Then he picked the bag up again, gave you a parting glance, and turned back to the door. He squared his shoulders and left.

You’re ready to swallow all your pride.

And just like that, he was gone.

For months, you would cry about this moment. In your car, in your bed, on various friends’ couches and shoulders. Your mind would find some new detail to fixate on every two or three weeks, and you would lose it all over again.

I’m standing here naked.

You would wish he had told you exactly how he was feeling. You would wish you had told him just how much you loved him.

I’m standing here naked.

You would realize that you would likely never see his eyes again, and that the last time you had seen them they had been so, so dark. There were a million little things that would hurt you so deeply.

I’m standing…

And, eventually, you would come to see that you had done the right thing. You really had.

For now, though, all you could do was stand and lock the door. Dewey had left his key with you. You turned the deadbolt and felt the click in your bones.

I’m standing here.

.

.

please like and reblog, if you are so moved

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[connordavidscamera]

Christening the House | Connor Brashier

A/n: this was supposed to be longer, but I knew if I kept going I would never post it, so it’s this. And yes, part of the beginning is from my fic “Moving In.” This is the same “universe” if you will. Also, yeah I’m sorry if this absolutely sucks!

Summary: Connor wants to break in the new house.

Warnings: awful smut writing, fingering, oral, slight choking, protected and unprotected sex (be safe, my dudes) and there might be more but idk honestly

Word count: 1.7k

***

It only makes sense that the first room we finished was our bedroom. I mean, unless we planned on sleeping in the living room for the next few weeks while we try and figure out this whole place and what we were going to do with all the space. The house was definitely bigger than we needed, but if one day we were to add to the family, it made sense to have a larger house. I think it was a subconscious thought for both us – buying a home that would be our forever home, the one we would raise our kids in, grow old in.

“I think that’s the last of it, sweetheart.” Connor says, placing his freshly fluffed pillow on his side of the bed.

I flatten out the rug at the foot of the bed and smile fondly at the room. “It looks good, don’t you think?” I ask, glancing around the room.

“Mhmm…” he hums, his arms wrapping around my waist. “But you look better.”

“Oh yes,” I mutter. “I’m sure my matted hair and sweat are a huge turn on for you, huh?”

“Well that’s how I leave you every night, isn’t it?” He muses, running soft kisses down the side of my neck, to my shoulder, where his teeth sink into my skin.

I can’t stop the moan that escapes my throat and he takes that as encouragement, moving the straps of my tank top to give himself more access. “Con,” I say, turning in his arms, my hand flying to his hair. “We have to … work on… the bathroom,” I mumble against his lips.

“Later,” he growls. “Wanna love on you for a little bit.”

“But-“

“Baby, I’m doing some of my best work here, you can’t just talk through it.”

“Best work, huh? I think you’ve done better.”

“Oh, I have? Well I guess we’re just gonna have to make this my best work then.”

“I’d love to see you try, bub.”

“Don’t challenge me, baby girl,” his hands sneak up my shirt, and back down, sending shivers down my spine as they come back down and he pops the button of my jeans.

“oh, an eager boy, are we?” I tease.

His hand easily slips down my pants and I gasp. He smirks, “And I’m eager?” his lips graze my ear as he rubs me through my panties, causing my eyes to flutter shut and a soft moan to escape my lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” I roll my eyes and pull him back to my lips. “Just keep your promise, okay?”

“I am a man of my word.” Before I know it, he has me on my back, completely naked, on our freshly made bed. But I’m enjoying his lips on my shin too much to worry about that right now. “Okay,” he says, pulling back from my heat, where I so desperately need him. “I know I’m kinda busy here, but this run is really comfortable.”

I laugh, covering my face, “Glad to heat it, now could you?”

“Right, sorry,” he wraps his arms around my thighs and buries his head between them once again. I can’t help the moan that leaves my lips when his tongue flicks over my already sensitive nub, and then I feel the soft push of one of his fingers at my entrance and my back arches. He’s quick to push me back on the bed, though, his tongue picking up its pace, working so nicely that I almost can’t tell that his fingers have left me. He’s sucking and slurping while I fill the room with more lengthy moans and heavy breaths. The sounds coming from us are boarder line pornographic, but neither of us seem to care. “Hmm… so wet for me,” he utters, kissing down my folds.

“Jesus, Connor. More.” I beg.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” His lips leave a wet trail down the inside of my thigh and I can’t help but whimper when his teeth sink into the sensitive skin. He kisses his way back up and I squirm at the feeling of his lips on my clit once again.

“Fuck,” I gasp.

“Use your words, y/n. What do you want?”

This is torture. Absolute torture. But he needs to hear me or he won’t continue. “Fingers, Connor. Please. I need you.”

“That’s my girl,” he smirks against me as one finger slips inside, soon followed by another. The stretch is perfect. So perfect. And he knows too, if not from how many times he has done this, then from my moans and whines and whimpers that are filling the room. Some loud, some broken from where my breath hitches. He knows just how to work me to the edge. And he does it. Just as I can feel my high building from just his fingers and tongue, he pulls away, leaving me heaving and whining for him to come back.

“Bubba. Please,” I cry, not at all caring about just how desperate I sound.

“Shh… I know, baby girl. I know. But I wanna feel you around me. Can’t have you getting off from just my fingers the first time in our new room.” He gets off his knees and shuffles quickly to his nightstand, taking a condom out of the top drawer. “Safety first,” he chuckles, sliding his pants and boxers down the length of his legs. I hum, watching him. I need him. I’m desperate for him. And the ache between my legs is making sure I know just how desperate I am.

---

Later, after we’ve rested a bit from our activities, we find ourselves in our bathroom, putting on some final touches. Connor’s hanging up a picture he took of the ocean when we were on our honeymoon, and I’m putting our extra towels on the shelf next to the shower.

“Does it look straight?” he asks me, turning his head from side to side, closing one eye and then the other.

I lift myself onto the counter stare at the photo for a second. “It looks good to me.”

He turns back to face me and smirks. “You look good to me.”

I shake my head, “Oh no. No, sir. We just had sex.”

“And?”

“And what are you planning on doing? Having sex with me in every room of the house?”

He shrugs. “I mean… yeah. That was kind of the plan.”

“I – Connor David!”

“What? I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s kinda like we’re christening the house. Or, you know, we’re just making sure the furniture and everything is uh… sturdy, yeah. I mean, if it can take me pounding into you, I think we got something pretty good, don’t you?”

I can’t help but laugh. “You are something else, my dear,” I say, but I can’t say that the thought of having sex in every room is kinda hot. Especially the kitchen. On the counter. I bite my lip at the thought.

“So… what do you think?”

I nod, “Okay. But if we’re doing it in here, can we at least do it in the shower?”

He smirks and closes the distance between us. “Absolutely,” he kisses my lips gently. “The acoustics are better in there anyway. Can hear your melodic moans much better in there.”

I slap his chest, “I hate you,” I say with an eye roll.

“I adore you, too.”

He’s not wrong about the acoustics, although hearing my moans and whimpers amplified makes me a little self-conscious. But Connor is having none of that.

“Why so quiet, love?” He asks with another harsh thrust into me. I muffle my groan into his shoulder, pressing gentle kisses – in deep contrast to what’s currently happening – to his wet skin. “Want to hear you,” he groans, nipping at the soft spot behind my ear. “Gonna let me hear you?” His hand roams up my body, and he tugs on my nipple. I can’t hide that moan and he knew that when he did it. “There is it. That’s my good girl.”

Oh god, I’m a whimpering mess now.

“You take me so well, don’t you?” he coos, brushing my wet hair out of my face before bringing his hand back down, where it latches to my throat and we squeezes gently. “I love having you like this, pretty girl. Gasping for me. Whining me for me to keep going. Do you want me to keep going? You want to cum for me?”

I nod desperately, “Please Connor. Plea –” my breath catches in my throat with a particularly hard thrust.

“Say my name again,” he groans, and I swear it’s my favorite sound in the world. Just like he likes watching me come undone for him, I love watching the same thing. I love the shape his mouth makes when he’s moaning. And the way his eyes shut so tight when he’s reaching his high. I like watching – trying to watch, would be more accurate – his concentrated thrusts with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth.

I whine, gripping his hair tighter.

“Say it again,” he growls, the hand around my neck gripping tighter and I didn’t think it was even possible for me to get any wetter, I mean we’re fucking in a shower.

“Connor,” I gasp just as I feel myself getting closer, the coil in my stomach threatening to uncurl.

“Cum with me, baby,” he begs and if his sloppy thrusts are any indication at all, he’s close too.

“Fuck,” I almost scream. “Connor, I’m gonna – fuck, Con. Connor,” I sob as I reach my high, and he follows close behind me.

“Y/n,” he murmurs against my skin, pressing wet kisses to my collar bone as he slowly sets me back on the ground. He doesn’t let go of me though, thankfully, because I can feel my legs buckling beneath me. We stay like this for a few minutes, the water splashing us and we heave in breaths. “We should clean up,” he says finally, running his hand gently over my hair.

I nod, my eyes closed while I rest my head against his warm chest. “Okay.”

“Here, turn for me. I’ll wash your hair,” he presses his lips to my temple.

“Just,” I take in a deep breath, “give me another second, okay? Still can’t trust my legs.”

He chuckles, “I’m sorry, love.”

I shake my head, “Don’t be.”

“I’ll rub your sore muscles when we get into bed, yeah? That sound okay?”

I hum, “Sounds perfect.”

***

I hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

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[asphalt-cocktail]

For the Sake of Content- Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sex Money

Summary: After walking in on your long-term boyfriend, Harrison, cheating on you and then losing your job the following day; your find yourself broke, jobless, and single for the first time in a long while. In order to make ends meet, your best friend since college, Freddie, suggests you start soliciting explicit photos of yourself, not only to help boost your confidence but to help pay the rent for his band mate’s apartment you just moved into.

A/N: ALL RIGHTY CUTIES!! This is where the story starts to pick up! I might take a little break in writing because the next chapter has literally taken me a week and a half to write up because I just can not get it right and I want to work ahead for when the semester begins to pick up. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this newest chapter! As always I really appreciate and read every comment I get on this, and love all the likes, reblogs, and asks i have been getting!

Pairing: Roger Taylor x F!Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex work, cam sex, mutual masturbation, masturbation, sexual tension, some friendly banter between roger and reader, slight arguing, maybe some slut shaming, not proof read, shit is getting juicy.

Word Count: 2.4k

Today was the day.

After heavy deliberation and a lot of working around schedules you and Mojo_Man had found a day and time that worked for the two of you. In the time it took to plan this whole ordeal you found that Mojo_Man, whoever he was, was pleasant to talk to and he even paid for a lifetime subscription to your Snapchat. The attention he had been giving you was nice to say the least.

You wore just a silky robe and sat strategically in front of your camera, only showing your shoulders on down. Your computer screen lit up with the call, you let it ring a few times before you answered, to make it look like you hadn’t been nervously waiting for this mystery man to call you.

When he answered, his room was darker than yours, only illuminated by a dull orange light in the corner of the room. You could make out the shape of his body, he was slim but looked like his body was secretly lean by the definition you could see in his arms. You couldn’t tell much more because like you, his face was also covered.

“Hey,” You said, shifting to sit on your knees, your thighs peaking through the gap in your dressing gown.

Mojo waved and the little typing icon popped up. ‘Sorry, no mic.’ He sent.

You couldn’t help but smile even though he couldn’t see it, waving your hand in a dismissive manor “’S okay.” You said casually, “So,” You dragged out the ‘o’ “Thank you for your generous gifts,” You shifted once more, purposefully slipping your robe down your shoulders “What do you want to do first?” You asked in a sensual manor.

Mojo Man sighed deeply as though he were in thought, ‘You can slip the rest of the robe off if you wanted.’ You felt heat spreading from the back of your neck to the tips of your ears at how polite he was. You found that typically men were very demanding and wanted to be in control, often ordering you around. But for once, it was nice to have a suggestion instead of a command.

You glanced down and undid the tie around your waist, opening the robe and sliding it down. The silky fabric pooled around your hips as your breasts became exposed for your one-man audience. You saw the slender man’s chest heave with arousal and felt a surge of pride swell through you. Your hand traveled down your chest, rubbing over the swell of your breasts and kneading them delicately in your hand before you moved down, pinching and rubbing your nipples between your thumb and pointer finger to get them erect. It didn’t take long before they hardened, your touch working in tandem with the cold.

You lifted your hips, sliding out of what remained of your robe and rubbed your hands along your thighs. The breath in the back of your throat hitched when you watched the stranger shift his camera ever so slightly down to expose his cock that lazily laid against his stomach. He stroked it in slow languid motions. You could see his chest rising and falling as he began to get more erect in his hand.

A soft moan left your mouth at the sight. God a stranger’s dick shouldn’t have been this arousing to you, but here you were.

Your legs instinctively spread apart exposing yourself to him and you dipped your finger between your fold. Grinding it in circular motions around your clit in an attempted to match his pace. Your hips bucked against your hand’s slow teasing pace and your eyes remained locked on the internet man’s dick and his hand firmly gripping his now fully erect member.

You whimpered, picking your pace up and now strumming your self rapidly, throwing your head back with a breathy moan, “Come on, baby I wanna hear you.” You sensually said. You hadn’t even thought of the words before they left your mouth.

Mojo’s hand faltered a moment before his free hand typed out a message to you, ‘I don’t know.. I don’t want my roommate to hear.’ You couldn’t help but smirk, thinking of the unsuspecting Roger who could walk into the apartment at any moment or walk into your room at any moment and see you fingering yourself for some stranger.

“It’s okay, I’m sure they wont mind.” you said slowing your strumming yourself and watched as the little crossed out microphone icon became bolded. A shiver of anticipation ran through you as you watched the mystery man once again, tightly grip his hard cock and pump it in his hand. He let out a shaky breath and you felt your face heating up at the sound. His voice was soft with a hidden roughness behind it that made your tummy tingle, “Come on, baby, let me hear you.” You said moving against yourself with more vigor.

The internet stranger’s jerking pumps matched your pace and your slightly staticky voices mingled together and filled both yours and his room. The slender man’s hips bucked against his hand as the two of continued to watch each other get off.

“Fuck,” You abruptly hissed out, your fingers buried deep inside you, hitting all the right spots “Can… can I come please?” the words slipped out of you mouth with little thought.

A short laugh bubbled from the man’s chest, “Not yet, baby.” You could tell his jaw was clenched tightly from how he spoke.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you tipped your head back trying to picture his face. Darker blonde hair, that was confirmed by the light dusting of chest hair he had, and blue? No. Green eyes.

He choked out a desperate sigh, “Shit,” he grunted, thrusting hard into his hand, “I’d love to see that ass of yours bouncing on my cock.”

Your walls clenched at his words, he could see it from the angle of his camera, and you let out a high-pitched sigh in response. The closer he got the more vocal he was. You loved every vulgar word that fell like syrup from his lips.

But there was something so familiar about his voice that caused your mind to spin. Your fogged over lust filled brain could barely comprehend what was going on after being on edge from your release for so long. It was as though your toes danced on the ledge of a building and the threat of falling was hammering against your chest.

Suddenly your walls clenched, and you sobbed out, having to cover your mouth to stifle the noise while you rolled your hips against your fingers. The mystery man soon followed, shooting ropes of come onto his stomach, he sat for a moment to catch his breath “Be right back,” He mumbled before abruptly standing up and leaving his computer chair probably for some tissues.

The light flicked on in his room and you took in what little you could see in, the cluttered clothes on the floor, the messy bed spread that made it look as though he kicked it off every time he woke up. It was interesting to see into the lives of your clients.

He came back and his computer screen illuminated his now clothed chest. He was now wearing an old Jimi Hendrix shirt and you couldn’t help but smile- Roger had the same shirt, upon further inspection you saw that Roger also had the same bracelets and necklace your client wore too. Your stomach clenched with dread “Roger! You- you” you pointed an accusatory finger at the camera, not caring that it fell, exposing your face as you abruptly got up and struggled to find your words. A wave of confusion and rage washed over you, causing your orgasmic fog to dissipate immediately.

“[Y/N]?” Roger sounded just as confused as you felt “Oh, fuck.” He muttered to himself.

You threw your robe back on and stomped over to your door, ripping it open and meeting Roger half way down the hallway “How could you watch me masturbate!” You shouted at him, raising and flailing your arms in frustration.

“How was I supposed to know it was you masturbating!” He shouted back in an equally frustrated voice, “Fucking Christ.” He hastily ran a hand through his hair, “You spread your pussy for every bloke on the internet now? Is that how you pay for the rent, with-” He motioned between the two of you, blowing out a frustrated puff of air “With dirty sex money?”

Your mouth could have hit the floor if it was possible, “It’s none of your bloody business how I make my money! It’s Fred’s fault anyways, he suggested it!” Your brain vividly played Fred’s voice over and over again in your head before you pushed it aside to clear up more questions “You were the one that gave me the dirty sex money anyways!” you were on a roll now, “What the fuck kind of a name is Mojo Man anyways! You couldn’t have come up with something clever?”

Roger’s jaw gaped much like yours, his face riddled with disbelief, “I can’t help it I’m horny and want to pay for attention from girls!” Roger clenched his fists together in frustration and pushed past you, hastily slipping his shoes on, not even bothering to untie them and throwing on a leather jacket “It’s a Jimi Hendrix song, by the way.” He hissed, slamming your apartment door behind him causing the mirror in the hallway to slant.

You let out a frustrated noise, a cross between a growl and a groan and found your self pacing the hall, back and forth, back and forth while muttering to yourself like you’d gone mad. “Fucking hell! I can’t believe I wasn’t more careful, what am I? A fucking fool, that’s what you are.” You stopped yourself, realizing your solo conversation was making you look more insane than you had hoped. You raided the fridge, stealing several of Roger’s beers. He wouldn’t mind anyways, it wasn’t like the two of you had boundaries anymore after wanking in front of each other.

So, there you sat, on the couch, brooding, thinking, and drinking several beers. You hated to admit it, but the chemistry between you and Roger during your private session with him was hot, just thinking about it caused a clench in your gut that you couldn’t push away. You thought of ringing up Freddie for advice, but you could already hear the howling laughter that would rattle your ear drums, so you opted to continue thinking in silence. But still found your mind drifting back to his words, the rise and fall of his soft chest, and his soft gravely moans that would forever haunt your memory.

An idea crept into your brain, slinking against the shadows before it forced its way through and now had your full attention. You couldn’t shove it away and it echoed against your brain.

Ask Roger to help you with your content.

You’d seen it many times and heard girls talking about it on various forums and chatroom communities dedicated to sex work but never though you’d ever come across the opportunity yourself. Countless women had their spouses, partners, and even friends help with their content from time to time; they found that it helped provide a variety of things to post and proved to be an advantage.

You mulled it over a bit more, sipping on your cold beer. It would be nice to not have to take screen shots of videos you took of you doing various poses and there was the benefit of actually having sex. You hadn’t gotten any action from a real-life human being since Harrison and frankly, you’d forgotten what good sex was like and something told you that Roger would be able to help you remember.

The come down from your adrenaline high mixed with the beer and soon put you to sleep on the couch. Only waking up to Roger roughly shaking you. He reeked of cigarettes, you scrunched your nose up and could tell he’d taken a walk outside to chain smoke and think. It was a stress habit you’d noticed in your few months of living with him.

You blinked one blurry eye at him, your vision clearing and noted the soft, almost sympathetic gaze he’d cast down at you. You sat up, sitting sideways into the corner of the couch to offer him a seat which he graciously accepted, “I’m sorry for calling your money dirty sex money.” Roger mumbled, his face flushed with embarrassment.

You cleared the sleep from your throat “I’m sorry for making fun of your username.” You mumbled in the same apologetic tone. You turned your body towards him and let out a nervous cough, just enough to force his gaze in your direction, “I… um… I wanted-” you inhaled and exhaled deeply before you started over again to gather your thoughts “Do you want to help me?”

Roger jumped at the volume of your voice and you mumbled a soft ‘sorry’ before looking back at him. His face was riddled with confusion, “What?” He asked quirking his head to the side.

“You know, filming and content and stuff.” You couldn’t bare to look at him any longer, the conversation was almost painful making it easy to avert your gaze.

Roger cleared his throat and tried to act casual, but he was almost as uncomfortable as you, “Would… would I get a part of the profit?” He asked, sneaking a side glance at you.

You honestly hadn’t even though of that. “80/20” That was the first number that popped up into your mind.

Roger scoffed, “50/50” he argued back, “If my dicks going to be on display, I want half.”

You found yourself frowning deeply “70/30 and I won’t hide my face anymore, but you can.”

Roger hummed, you didn’t know if he was actually in deep thought or just mocking you, “Fine, but we also get to fuck without cameras too, and I want the first time we hook up to just be natural, no cameras.” He crossed his arms over his chest “Got to make sure it’s worth my time.” He made sure to add.

You rolled your eyes at his back handed comment, “You talk a big game, bet you’ll be the disappointing one.” You knew it was a lie the moment you said it. But you would never admit it.

[obviouslyelementary]

Once Upon a Time - chapter 1

You all requested it, and you all got it! A kingdom!AU with our beautiful sides!

Characters: Princes Janus and Patton; Knights Roman and Remus; Mages Virgil and Logan. 

Ships: Moceit; Intrulogical; Prinxiety.

Tag list (and pls tell me if you wanna be added or removed thank you!): @anxiousdreamersworld @datfearlessfangirl @uniquedonutland @walkingonsunshine @sanders-sides-rebloger @lcrnbw @maryann-draws @yuna-dan @eviearie

----------------------------

Chapter 1 - Prologue 

Once upon a time, there were two beautiful kingdoms that lived in peace with each other for centuries. The first kingdom was ruled by the Anguis family, a rich, proud and intelligent clan that had the bold wish of expending their kingdom, growing beyond anyone could ever imagine, rule the world and be good at it. The second kingdom was ruled by the Beatum family, a clan with happiness and kindness, one that put love above all and wished happiness and understanding to all people on earth.

They were different kingdoms, for sure, but their friendship came from centuries of good relationships, deals and amendments. They never wished to attack each other, and they never did, even in the current times. They always swore to protect and help each other in their times of need, despite their different approaches to ruling, and the promises were kept forever.

But the present was not like the warmth of the past. Tired for the Anguis' crusades for power and lands, the kingdoms surrounding theirs declared war, and in the most delicate moment of all. In a malicious attack, both kings and queens from the Anguis and Beatum families were killed during a trip to one of their farthest, shared lands. They were mercilessly assassinated, leaving their kingdoms fragile and shaken, in the perfect shape to be attacked and overruled.

But no one expected for their princes to be so resolute.

In a last attempt of protecting their kingdoms from the attacks from beyond borders, the two princes decided through letters and quick reunions to marry, so they could unite their strengths and make sure their family names would remain intact. They were both brave, intelligent and astute, and they knew the marriage needed to happen fast if they wanted to win that war against the smaller kingdoms around them.

And thus, the date was set.

 ----------------------

 "Your majesty?"

"... come in."

Logan made his way inside, slowly, opening the doors to his prince's chambers, bowing his head in respect before making his way inside. None of those gestures were seen, because his prince had his back to the door, staring out through the window, contemplating the steady fields that surrounded his castle. Logan approached him slowly, looking around at the neatly organized room before he stopped next to him, staring out of the window, seeing the busy streets of the castle town, and just beyond the walls a beautiful landscape that went on to the horizon.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Patton, his prince, whispered in a melancholic voice that let the mage afflicted. "My kingdom... it still hurts to say it..."

"I am sorry, your majesty" Logan whispered, but Patton turned to him with his warm smile that filled anyone's heart, even if that warmth did not find its way into his eyes, that were cold and upset.

"Patton, please... you do need to be so serious while we are alone" he said, turning around and sitting by the windowsill. Logan let out a soft sigh, and nodded.

"I am sorry, Patton... sorry for coming to bother you during your calm hours, but there are many things to be arranged, as you surely know" he said, feeling guilty for coming all the way to speak to Patton while he mourned. The king and queen had died a month ago, but it was clear by Patton's unusual silence and contemplating postures that he wasn't yet over their death.

Who would be, if not a cold-blooded monster?

"It is fine, I am very aware we have little time to settle everything" Patton said, nodding for Logan to sit, and he did, pulling a chair close to his prince. "So, how are the wedding preparations? The food, the guests, the decorations? Were you able to contact the bishop that I recommended?"

"Yes, my lord, I have" Logan said softly, and that brought some calmness to Patton's face which pleased him so. "Everything is coming according to plan... however I received a letter today that surely does not help our cause. Prince Anguis is coming in three days, and he wishes the marriage to happen the day he arrives, the latter the day after."

Patton let out a soft sigh, turning his face to the window again and looking out as the trees shook in the distance and the kingdom felt a cold air coming by. It was the dark times arriving, ones Patton never wished to see, much less to rule over.

"I understand his demands... his kingdom is at war and he cannot waist any more time than necessary with arrangements such as these" he said, hugging himself in silence, refusing to cry. These were not times for sadness and mourning, they were times for planning and intelligence. "Send him a letter back. The marriage will happen as soon as he arrives. Make sure all the guests know, and make sure everything is ready for his arrival."

"I will, Patton" Logan said, softly, and then gently placed one hand over his prince's leg, smiling as he turned his face to look at him. "Remember that, whatever happens, I will always be by your side."

"I will. I know" Patton whispered, holding Logan's hand and squeezing it. "Now go. Make it perfect."

"I will."

Logan stood up from his chair and gave his prince another bow before leaving his chambers once again. Outside, the prince's personal knight Roman awaited, clearly anxious.

"So, how did he react?" he asked, as both began to walk down the large hallways of the castle. Logan let out a soft sigh, but shook his head.

"Better than I expected. He does seem inclined to do everything in his power so that this marriage happens as quickly as possible. However he is still... well, clearly hurt" Logan said, frowning, while Roman gave him a nod.

"Who wouldn't be? Our king and queen died less than a month ago, he wasn't even able to give them a proper funeral... is there anything more painful for a son? For a prince?"

"Only losing their kingdom, Roman. Something I do not think he will let happen" Logan said firmly, and looked at his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go to the nobles, warn them about the new date. Make sure all guards are aware, send letters to the cities and villages. I will make sure the decorations, food and clothes are prepared. We have no time to waste."

"Yes, my mage" Roman said, bowing to Logan and making his leave, while Logan sighed deeply to himself and rushed down the stairs towards the kitchens.

 ----------------------

 "My lord, we-"

"FOR HEAVENS' SAKE!" Janus yelled, grabbing the nearby vase over his dresser and throwing it on the opposite wall. Virgil watched as the vase broke down in pieces, all while Remus, the prince's personal guard, stared at him unphased by his tantrum.

"I am sorry, my lord, but breaking pots will not solve any war crises" Remus said, quite seriously, too seriously for his usual self, and Janus reached out for him, grabbing him by the collar and growling loudly.

"You-"

"My lord" Virgil said again, and both of them turned their heads to the mage. Janus growled loudly and pushed Remus away, but the knight barely moved an inch, while the prince reached for the wine goblet next to him and drank a large gulp.

"Get inside Virgil, let us see if you have anything better to say than this worm."

"... of course, my majesty" Virgil said, bowing to him and making his way inside. "I am here only to announce that you letter has been received and accepted. Your marriage with Patton Beatum will be happening in three days, as you requested."

"Oh thank god for some good news" Janus said, rolling his eyes and sitting down. He sighed loudly, rubbing his forehead with his fingers and then shaking his head. "Remus, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have..."

"It is quite alright, my majesty. I know our troops disappointed you" Remus said, and the serious way he spoke showed to Virgil how upset he truly was. "I promise you we will not fail in the next assault."

"There won't be a next assault, at least not for you" Janus said, looking up at him. "We are leaving tomorrow, so that my marriage can happen and we can return with troops and strength. You and Virgil are coming with me, as my testimonies."

"Of course sir" Remus nodded with a bow and Virgil walked closer to them, standing next to Janus. The three of them were quiet for a moment, or rather a few minutes, while Janus finished his goblet of wine and then sighed, standing up and walking over to the windowsill.

"Look at this... so peaceful and quiet" he whispered, touching the glass, watching as dark clouds and harsh winds covered his land. "Once this kingdom was prosperous... beautiful and rich. Now we are losing battles, our soldiers cry out for food, our safes have barely any gold left... I can't believe it has come to this..."

"It isn't your fault sir. You had no way of knowing" Virgil said, trying to calm his soul, but Janus simply shook his head, hand curling into a fist.

"I promised my father I would rule a kingdom as brave and beautiful as his... and I promised my mother I would marry for love and happiness... and here I am. Ruling a kingdom in ruins, marrying a man I do not even know... how is he like?"

"Patton Beatum?" Virgil asked, and Janus nodded, turning around to face his most trusted and loved friends.

"Yes. How is he like? You both saw him in your meetings to organize my wedding... who am I marrying?"

"Well, he is known for being kind, and sweet. He cares for all his people with love and respect. He is not keen on wars, he always rather have a peaceful agreement rather than a heated discussion. As all Beatums do" Virgil said, and Janus turned to Remus.

"He is good looking, soft and plump. Rosy cheeks and a smile that is known for brightening up the darkest of chambers. His hands are warm and he looks like a good lover, for what I can tell" he said, and Janus sighed, rubbing his eyes and then looking up at the ceiling.

"A stranger who is nice and sweet to all... who is beautiful and warm... sounds like the opposite of me" he said, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, the faded paint and the old drawings. "Thank you Virgil, Remus... you are dismissed now."

"Of course sir" they both said, bowing and taking their leave. Once outside the prince's chambers, they looked at each other before making their way down the hallway.

"Is the situation dire?" Virgil asked, and Remus sighed.

"More than you can imagine, mage. Our troops cannot handle another week in these conditions. We are as close to a defeat as we have ever been."

"Our hopes lie on the marriage then" Virgil said, and sighed to himself. "I will pray that... it all goes according to plan."

"Pray, mage" Remus said, stopping in front of Virgil's chambers. "Pray, because that is the last weapon we have."

[thosekidswhohuntmonsters]

Running Out of Time

Summary: Everyone knows you and Loki are meant to be kept apart. When you are together, you’re both too powerful for your own good, your magic even stronger. So, what happens when the god of mischief makes a sudden return and you two are reunited? 

Word Count: 679

Warnings: sexual themes

Authors note: this is a story that I think I might come back two and write another part to because its honestly such a fun idea! like how doesn’t wanna be a powerful badass with the god of mischief at their side? 

♡if you enjoy this fic you’re welcome to leave a reblog/like/comment! feedback is not only welcomed but encouraged!♡

You were on your way out of the compound with Steve when you heard, “Hello, love”. Turning around quickly you saw him, Loki. Steve sighed turning to Thor, “I thought I’d told you to wait until I called”.

Thor shrugged, “I don’t have a cell phone, you could’ve sent a raven”. Steve just shook his head, watching the event unfold. You took a step towards the raven haired prince, “...loki?”.

He was on a literal leash, being held by Thor. It was the first time you’d seen him since he’d run away. Loki looked you up and down, “Oh I’ve missed you darling”.

You found yourself smirking, and Loki was grinning like a madman. Cursing at Thor he said, “If only I could show you my pet”. By now Bucky, Sam and Tony had joined you.

Tony pointed at you and Loki, “Woah woah woah, I thought we all knew Reindeer Games and (y/n) weren’t supposed to be around each other”. You couldn’t help yourself, you were so drawn to him.

Part of it was because you knew a side to Loki that no one else knew, you saw him for who he truly was. A man that from a very young age had been pitted against his brother, lead to believe he never belonged, and had the truth hidden from him.

Steve repeated, “I guess I was supposed to send a raven instead of a phone call to Thor..”. Tony just gave an annoyed face, but you were all blocking them out.

You waved your hand, using your own magic to free Loki of his chains. He moved his jaw and head around as you heard various cracks. Sam looked to you, “What the hell (y/n)?!”.

Loki moved swiftly towards you, crashing his lips against yours. You ran your hands through his hair causing him to groan, “Eager are we my pet?”.

His laugh was so low it was almost a growl. Thor had his hammer in his hand, “Brother..do not do anything stupid-”. Loki cupped your face in both hands, but rolled his eyes and turned around.

Everyone was standing in a fighting stance. Bucky and Steve had their hands resting on their guns as they were all ready to attack. He took a step forward making everyone flinch.

“Is this how little you trust me brother? And here I thought we had grown”. You rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder, and Thor noticed how Loki automatically became more relaxed.

Smiling you said, “Loki, trust takes time-”. Loki’s expression softened as he listened to your voice. You stood in front of him, resting a hand on his chest.

Looking up you smirked, “Eventually they’ll see the man I see...the man I love...the man I’ve missed for so long”. Loki looked deeply into your eyes, feeling so guilty for how long he’d been gone.

Steve lowered his hand, letting everyone know that they could relax. Loki shook his head, “Leaving the only woman I have ever truly loved was no easy feat darling...I just didn’t-”.

You cut him off by kissing him again, knowing that it was most likely Loki’s own insecurities and self doubt that had caused him to run away. Smirking you said, “You can explain later, we have more important issues to discuss”.

Loki licked his lips, “You are dangerously intoxicating love”. Taking him by the hand you began to lead him away. Steve held up his hands, “Hey! Where are you guys going we have-”.

Tony patted Steve on the back, “We’ll tell you when you’re a little bit older Capsicle”. Loki had left because he knew he brought danger into your life, and with how powerful Thanos was becoming Loki feared that he’d just make you a target.

He had thought about you every night, his memories with you being the only things that allowed him to get any sleep. Loki now knew that he could never leave you again, he wanted to be right beside the woman he loved as you conquered any possible threats together.

♡ thank you for taking the time to read this, you’re a babe♡

Forever tags: aka some amazing people: @moonlessnight14 @sexyvixen7 @angieptt​ @painkiller80 @becca-dolan @team-heichou @thatpeachybandgirl​ @allthesesonsobitches @buckybarneshairpullingkink @couldabeenamermaid​ @taeeemin​ @littleredstarfish @nali67​ @only4wakingup​ @mcenziehughes​

*if there is a line through your name that means that for some reason it won’t allow me to tag you*

*forever tags are always open*

[tarithenurse]

Agent of Hope - 22

Your world falls into ruin together with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcements Logistics Division when you find out that your boyfriend isn’t one of the good guys. Pairing: Brock Rumlow x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader Contents: Action! Injuries. Reference to and dealing with trauma. Reference to smut. Not a lot of words. A/N: Tadaaaa!! Lots of love for liking and reblogging!! Enjoy!

22 - Change on the Rise

…   Rumlow   …

The first call comes in at 4PM on a Saturday. It’s short, clear, and sends Brock’s blood pumping at a rate it normally only reaches during the obsessive dreams featuring [Y/N] that forces him to jerk off. “Target S in sight”. Abandoning the half-made plans for an infiltration of a CDC-lab (in his opinion a brute insurgence would be better anyways), Brock hurries off to the TacSit room with the hopes of establishing a live connection to the agent at the scene. Goddamnfinally!

The primary objective was pure damage control at first which, after a few days, extended into an alteration in the official plan: eliminate any advantage Rogers and his bunch of bastards might have as if that hadn’t been standard for ages. After some discussions, the leadership allowed to recover (alive) what’s been lost - the cost being the unsupervised leadership of Project S, as dealing with [Y/N] and her visions was dubbed. Brock decided he could live with that, knowing that upervision is a hell of a lot better than no involvement at all.

“What’s the status?” he barks the moment the door swings open for him.

Frantic fingers push buttons lit by the bluish glow of screens before a headset is thrust his way. There’s a moment of silence in the headphones, then a small plop before the faint noises of the city can be heard along with a quiet, monotone narration of the events. No visual.

“Reinforcements ‘bout ten minutes out,” the voice of the agent explains.

It’d been pure chance. After ages without unscheduled trips, [Y/N] and the Widow have broken cover by leaving the tower for something as stupid as a stroll and window shopping. It’s tempting to think it’d be a simple takeover, but nothing involving Romanoff is simple and any relaxation she shows is a cover for plans A, B, and all the way through Z.

The agent is tailing them through a street market when the dreaded words are heard: “Shit! Lost sight of Widow…”

There are a few tomb-quiet seconds where no one dares to breath.

“Hold this, please.” Spoken by a perfectly calm woman the request heard over the line makes the hairs on Brock stand on end.

There’s nothing they can do at HQ beside listening to the sudden still of breath before a wheezing gurgle, nor the evident handling of the earpiece before the connection is cut (probably crushed under a boot).

“ETA on team?” It’s a judgement call Brock has to make whether to call off the reinforcements or not.

“Engaging right now, sir.” Burn the fucking bridges, then. A screen flashes to show a crude map with a bunch of small dots clustered very close together indicating the approximate positions of the team members. “Switch to channel three for audio.”

His fingers know the way to the little button on the side of the headset, clicking it twice to get to listen in. With no eyes on the situation, Brock is forced to stay quiet as anything he says only will serve as a potential distraction, but it’s frustrating to hear the grunts and surprised shouts before the first clear word comes through the line: shooter. That’s the last Brock hear from the team.

…   Reader   …

“OW!”

“I know. Hold still…” the self-appointed Nurse Natasha orders patiently but pauses for a moment in the task of wrapping your hand, “at least you didn’t break it.”

You cast another glance at the x-ray displayed on the screen. “Feels like it…maybe we should call a doctor before you c’ntinue?”

“Ha!”

With steady hands, your love winds the elastic dressing around the thumb, careful to smooth is out, and of course it hurts…but honestly not a lot more than it would anyways, and you know you’ve gotten off lightly - your last experience with a Hydra ambush had ended differently. The memory makes you shiver. You still have nightmares randomly during the week, and the attack today is almost a guarantee that tonight will be a bad one even if the only physical result is a sprained thumb, and a bruised cheek and upper arm. Damn, Hydra goons must be made of steel.

A sound by the door to the infirmary startles you, the resulting movement causing the pain to flare up. How can everyone move so quietly? Even munching on a sandwich (coffee in the other hand), Clint sidles over with nothing but the softest of tread.

“Guess no one’s taught you ‘ow to throw a punch, huh?” he comments dryly.

Pain or not, the guy has a tendency to state the obvious. “Not yet, no, thank you very much.”

“Yet?” It sounds more like an off-hand comment next to the thorough inspection of Tasha’s work (pointing out tiny creases before she has a chance to fix them). “Plan on making it a habit to hit on guys?”

Groan! “Only to teach them a lesson or two…I’m gonna need lessons first though.” It gets silent enough that you can hear the faint sound of traffic almost 20 floors below. “I just…I need to know. Can’t stand being so…so useless! Y’know?”

It’s smart of Clint when he chooses a tactical retreat, granting Natasha and you some privacy, and maybe you imagine it…but isn’t that a wink before the door closes? Does he agree with me? A hint of confidence straightens your back as you wait for Natasha to secure the wrapping.

The red-head is thinking, considering all possible options and outcomes before voicing an opinion. Maybe it’s harder for her this time too because she has a more personal stake in it than she has been used to for years…and gods know she’s a tiger mom: ready to fight to protect the few near and dear to her. What will be valued highest here? The ability to protect oneself or avoid digging into a metaphorical wound that’s just starting to heal?

“Nat…”

“I – yeah, I get it and it’d be smart even if everything’s fine, I just –“ steeling herself with a breath, she meets your gaze, “on two conditions, okay?” She sees your placating shrug and takes your hands (carefully). “I won’t a…friend of mine to train you, not me.” You wait. “And I want you to see a psychologist too…in fact, I think you should do that anyways.”

Oh.

…   Romanoff   …

Natasha can see some of the light dwindle in [Y/N]’s eyes. Just hear me out. Physical injuries are easy enough for the former assassin to deal with but the trauma on mind and soul...well, the lessons taught in the Red Room weren’t exactly focused on that except to exploit it. I should’ve insisted on this long ago. Every argument is met with silence and downcast gaze. Sometimes a nod. Thankfully, it helps to promise women for both projects, and by the time [Y/N] accepts the conditions, Nat has already decided to call in any favour needed to get none other than Maria Hill to assist with the self defense.

“Please,” the coming trainee says meekly, “don’t tell anyone I’ll be seeing a shrink.”

Ingrained taboo? “I think Steve and I are the only ones that haven’t made use of it…and I’m not even sure about Cap.” She tilts the somber face up again. “It’s not weakness to need help like that, babe. It’s strength. It’s tough, but I know you’ll come to like it, so to say.”

“Logic’ly…urgh…I guess it makes sense but I just…wanna forget!” There are tears in the [Y/E/C] eyes from both the prospect as much as the knowledge that: “I can’t forget, though.”