i don't know who needs to hear this, but guilt, self-hatred and shame are not sustainable sources of growth and healing. you can't hate yourself into feeling better, or being better. you can't repeatedly punish yourself for your flawed humanity and expect wholesome results.
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The positives of ‘putting yourself out there’ are worth it. Having a great conversation with a stranger will be worth the awkwardness of starting that exact conversation. Joining a small community of people you will see regularly is worth having to get through a scary first day. Getting your dream job is worth the scariness of chasing it. Don’t pick and choose experiences based on the level of ease now, but choose them based on how you want to come out of them.
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Disability justice includes those who are disabled due to their own actions. You are not here to be blamed for what happened or why it did, you are here to receive love and support on your own journey.
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maybe mediocrity isn’t wrong. maybe you don’t need to be the best at everything you do. maybe you don’t need to be the best at anything you do. it’s ok to simply do things because you enjoy doing them. its ok to not want to advance in your job. nothing has to be a competition. you don’t need to be better than anyone. you can do things just because they’re fun. you don’t need to read up on the history, and know everything about it. its ok to just exist. its ok.
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[BG3] our dark urge Pearl you will be missed
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Its okay if you need a longer time to adjust to new things than other people, its okay if you need a little more time to get used to new things, its alright if you take a bit longer to feel comfortable and familiar with new places, people and things. Dont rush yourself and take all the time you need to process everything. Sometimes the mind needs a little more time to take things in, and to let it sink in.
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Moon using every trick in the book to lure you in bed...
to sleep :(
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this year i want to give myself a chance. i want to let myself do things that might make me happy! i deserve to at least try.
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You deserve a happy ending. No matter what the situation is, no matter how hard it is to survive and cope. You deserve a true genuine happy ending.
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2024 is about letting people care about and for you. it’s about answering ‘how are you’ with honesty, asking for space when needed, accepting help and being open to advice, listening to concerns and having difficult conversations. it’s about trying your very best to let go of the feeling that you’re completely alone, and finding ways to prove to yourself that you aren’t.
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Pay attention to what makes you feel on edge. If you’re feeling angry try to stop and assess what is triggering that anger. It doesn’t have to make sense. Is the sound of shoes squeaking on the floor grating? Is the way someone is asking you for something upsetting even if the ask isn’t? Understanding what is bothering us is the first step to diffusing our anger.
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i hope it hurts a little less. day by day. week by week. i hope the ache in your chest eases. maybe it won't entirely, maybe it will. may the thought of feeling joy again alone be enough to keep you going, even if for a while.
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In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"
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Dont forget to always forgive yourself at the end of the day. No matter how many mistakes you made, no matter how strict you were to yourself, no matter how angry you were at yourself or upset you were with yourself, at the end of the day, never forget to make peace with yourself. You can do something wrong, hold yourself acountable, and still be gentle with yourself.
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i'm still thinking about how aziraphale is the strongest entity in the entire universe for not just climbing into crowley's lap or sinking to his knees between his legs when he did THIS
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