#setting up boundaries. and like...

[killdivine]

a heads up! but my activity on this blog is probably going to lessen for the foreseeable future. it has already sort of been adaptive to people ftmp since, activity here has always been dependent on other people and how they feel. it sucks to say but i just don't feel as good here as i have in other spaces. and despite my attempts to fix it, or address what may be causing it. my feelings on things haven't really changed a whole lot, and i feel it's because of me, and my own headspace overall when it comes to my ocs. it isn't due to anything anyone has done really, but it's hard to articulate my feelings on it without sounding a certain way. but i will try...

did i need to make a post for this ? no. i definitely didn't.

but i want my feelings to be known, and i hate just vanishing without a word. please do not think i'm abandoning wuya, or that i have any less love for the plotting i have here. there are dynamics on this blog that mean a LOT to me. and have shaped wuya into the character she is at current. i just don't like writing ocs as much as i used to in public spaces. and this has been an issue for a long time, since wayyy before now. of course i will keep her blog, and i will interact with people and do things when i can, but i feel uncomfortable with my personal ideas and my ocs and designs. tumblr has overall done a lot of damage to my self esteem, my confidence, and my comfort creatively overall. and i think there are some things here that just make me feel like anything i've received is out of obligation or pity. mind you, it is entirely on me that i feel this way ( or so i think ). it's something i can't help. i feel guilt easily.

this has nothing to do with... feeling like i am not given enough. that even one person cares about my ideas is enough for me. i am so appreciative of what has been given to me by my interested mutuals and friends. but i feel like logging in here has grown to be less of a joy- and more of a form of upkeep. like if i don't do things here, then i will lose what i have. and it's made me feel like a burden, a card in people's pockets, or one of many with nothing unique or special to offer. and it is entirely because i have allowed my poor coping mechanisms, and my mental health to effect my space here. it is slowly ruining wuya for me, and making me feel guilty for even asking for things. or taking up people's time with my thoughts and ideas.

again, just to be clear!! i am still going to be here, i am still going to write and explore wuya's dynamics + interactions. i am going to reply to my threads and will likely reply to asks i send if im allowed. i will just be putting her as low priority or more accurately ig interaction based priority. i'm sorry if this upsets people, or if it makes anyone lose interest in my oc as a whole. i am just exhausted with trying to be here consistently, when i feel as uncomfortable / insecure as i do. and i want to put up some of these boundaries, for myself and for others- before wuya is warped into a source of stress and anxiety for me. i love her too much !!!

all this said. i love writing my ocs on discord a lot. i don't get to very much but i'd be more than happy to if you'd like more consistency. as well as a wider variety of ocs i have to offer. i think i do a lot better with my personal projects / creations in a more private space. my discord: kerokroppi

if you read all this, please know i appreciate you immensely. and i hope it comes across clearly as i've never been good at sharing my thoughts and feelings without being self conscious or second guessing my own thought process. and god i know it's a lot to ask, but if i miss anything when i'm not here- if you post something you want me to see, please let me know. i will send prompts if i catch them when i'm on dash, but i will now mostly send things unprompted to folks from here. and even if i'm not here, i highly encourage sending me things if the muse strikes!! like i said i wont leave, i just wont be here as much!!

in the meantime. a lot of my time will be going to my canon muses. because i feel a lot less pressure to create things, or be something for other people that i don't have the confidence to be. so you can catch me in those spaces if and when i feel like being on tumblr at all. i think publicly writing and feeling like i have to be there in order to matter has... been very bad for my health of late. so i'm trying to fix that.

[whetstonefires]

You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.

(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)

It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.

We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.

But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.

The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.

The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.

The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.

Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.

Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.

And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.

I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.

But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.

Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3

good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.

[knifearo]

everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2

[npd-confessions]

NPD + ASPD vent

Everyone always saying that "you need to do better" and in the same breath going "mental health is hard to change and is a healing porcess". Espcially when they know I'm actively trying to do better. It pisses me the fuck off. Either help me by giving me the reasonable resources I've asked for (personal space to be angry, actually listening to me before insisting you know better(sometimes they do! But I'd also like my point to be stated and discussed before other people start saying shit) not immediately telling me to just fucking cope without putting any effort into finding a solution. And then disrespecting the solution I came up with) or stop fucking claiming to be such a mental health advocate.

GOOOODDDD BARK I FEEL THAT IN MY SOUL. IN MY SOUL I TELL YOU.

Genuinely the only people I’ve actually formed deep bonds with have been people with aspd, and it’s for this exact reason.

If I of all people find it easy to ask “how can I support you with this” and actually follow through with my mentally ill friends— keeping in mind that I experience no empathy, sympathy, and have very little capability for compassion— then how the fuck do prosocials find it so difficult??

It’s honestly bare minimum if you’re gonna even pretend to be marginally accepting of mental illness

My DMs are always open and I do have a discord I’m willing to hand out if anyone wants to be friends. Us folk gotta stick together cause god knows nobody’s gonna look out for us.

[hyohaehyuk]

"the actors are really comfortable and have no red lines within those limitations", "the co-stars in this show (...) often come up with their own ideas on how to do it (like how to kiss and how to move and where to touch/kiss in other characters body etc)"

Well we already noticed with the wrist hickies and payback neck hickies 🤭

Source: Maleficent-You-9136 in the InterviewVampire Reddit fanbase

Also here is another post about Jam talking about intimacy coordinators on set

[thetarttfuldickhead]

A week or two after the Dubai Air protest Sam happens upon Jamie lounging listlessly on a bench in the otherwise deserted gym. He’s not doing any exercise, just sitting there and staring out into nothingness with a curiously vacant look on his face.

Sam hesitates, hovering in the doorway. He’s come for a little bit of extra weights before heading home, and he hadn’t expected anyone to be here this late, least of all Jamie. It’s been a long day and Sam’s not sure if he’s up for dealing with the (possibly) reformed bully right now. Even if they are edging towards friendly, and even if that’s no small thing given what’s come between them before, there’s still an undercurrent of charged uncertainty to their interactions, a stilted hesitancy to their cautious politeness and careful attempts at casual camaraderie.

Jamie hasn’t explicitly told Sam that he’s sorry for the things he’s put him through. Sam has decided that he will not let his decision to give Jamie another chance be contingent upon this. It’s very tiring, being angry and resentful of the other’s presence: so much easier to accept the taped up logo for the peace offering it was, and let that be Jamie’s apology.

(If it rankles, it only rankles a little.)

Reminding himself of his decision to let bygones be bygones, and that they won’t ever get anywhere if they don’t actually learn to talk, Sam steps into the gym. Asks as he would any other glum-looking team mate he’d unexpectedly happened upon, “Are you all right, Jamie?”

Holds himself ready, holds himself steady, if Jamie should bare his teeth and bite, now that there’s no one around to see it.

But Jamie only starts a little, like he hadn’t noticed Sam or he’s surprised to be voluntarily addressed. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m good, man. Great, you know. It’s just… I’m a bit tired, I guess.“ He pauses, then his face suddenly collapses and he gives Sam the most plaintive of looks. “It’s just so fucking exhausting being nice all the time. I don’t know how you do it, mate.”

Ah. Sam tactfully doesn’t say that it’s usually no effort for him and that he doesn’t really understand how it could possible come that hard for anyone.

He also doesn’t point out that not actively being mean to people isn’t quite the same as being nice.

Because Jamie is trying, isn’t he, even if it’s painfully evident that he still needs to try, that it doesn’t come quite naturally.  

“Bit like when Spike had that chip in his head and had no choice but to team up with the good guys, isn’t it?” Colin had muttered a few days after their wayward striker had re-joined them, and yes, Sam had had to agree: it is a bit like that.

But there’s no chip in Jamie’s head (Sam is pretty sure). He’s here of his own free will, trying to be a good team mate and a better person because he wants to be. That has to count for something, doesn’t it?

Sam is pretty sure his dad would say it does. Sam wants to be the sort of person that lets it count.

And Jamie is looking genuinely dejected, in a way that has Sam feel a small surge of something that isn’t affection but isn’t too unlike it either. A little bit of pity mingling with amusement; enough that he’s moved to brave sitting down next to Jamie.

“Well, I have had more practise,” he says lightly. “I bet you will be really good at it if you give it a bit more time.”

“Yeah?” It’s offered casually, but there’s no disguising the faint hope in it. Sam can feel Jamie watching him out of the corner of his eye.

“Of course,” he says, and then, feeling bold, “You are Jamie Tartt. Aren’t you good at everything?”

A pause, and Sam holds his breath, praying that Jamie will understand that he’s being teased rather than mocked—

Then Jamie snorts, a sound halfway to a chuckle. “Yeah, man,” he retorts, bumping his shoulder against Sam’s, very carefully. “I’ll be the fucking best at being nice. Swear down, I’ll be so good I make you look like Geezer Scrooge.”

“That, I’d like to see,” Sam says drily; says sincerely. Standing, he nods towards the weight bench. “Do you think you can be good enough not to let me be crushed to death while you spot me?”

For a moment, Jamie looks taken aback, and Sam braces himself for a snide retort to his presumption – but it doesn’t come. Instead Jaime’s face clears, and he gives a sharp nod.

“Course, mate,” he says, and rises to follow Sam.

[heartbeetz]

As a sonic enjoyer I think people (adults) need to be SO careful selfshipping with sonic characters. Pleeeaasseee remember most members of the main cast are children. There ARE adults, so the franchise as a whole isn't off the table, but I feel like this comes up way more often than it should.

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

[skunkes]

He still has his issues of course but al is the most secure (attachment) oc i have. and im unsure as to Why, but it Was/Is really important to me for him to have had that experience of the worst relationship he's ever had. (where he ended up basing too much of his self worth on it, and stayed for far longer than he should have.)

Like. As I've met more people, I've watched (or heard about how) the brightest minds crumble when being introduced to love. All common sense out the window. There is no rational thinking AT ALL. Questioning and compromising on even your most innate immutable beliefs, held hostage by fear and What if This is As Good As It Gets. Even the strongest falter underneath it sometimes...!

[valeriannnn]

I know little of the Keepers and their cultural norms, but I suppose it should not come as a surprise that matters of grooming and personal maintenance should carry a more pragmatic connotation for those who live in such isolation - or perhaps our friend is simply strange, regardless of his context. I must admit: it was no small comfort to me, in those frigid days heralding the twilight of the Dragonsong War, to discover that our champion did not share our Sharlayan intuition toward personal space. Our more guarded companions don't always share my gratitude for the attention, but I believe that after our long estrangement, even the coldest of hearts could not fail to be warmed by such a gesture.

Wolcred Week 2024 Day 1: Warmth | Home

ok as mentioned in the tags i didnt have time to render a complete scene for this but i found this old mspaint sketch that demonstrates the Vibe. tyagoa just walked up behind him after cleaning up from their meal

[starryskiesahead]

so once i saw a tdlosk x jjk x mp100 crossover fanfic on ao3 and it was like “yuji and gojo, reigen and mob, and saiki all hang out”! and i was like neat but tbh it’s kinda stands out to me that saiki’s the only one who. doesn’t have a mentor figure similar to the other so.

[muirmarie]

ever since I wrote the thing where spock tells mccoy that the ozh'esta can be platonic, in the back of my head I keep thinking about a fic where the entire basis is that spock does know he's into mccoy, and he (don't do this) basically lulls him into vulcan dating without telling him? like finger kissing sure sure sure, but other things as well that, like, up the ante a LOT. and because i'm not a particularly kind person, I was trying to think how kirk could also be doing that, but of course he doesn't have the same leeway as spock, as mccoy obviously knows what human gestures of affection/romance are - so i think the best workaround would be for kirk to convince mccoy to try a chill/casual friends with benefits thing with him, except kirk keeps, like, doing super intense romantic things, and (i'm exaggerating for comedic affect) gaslighting him that they're really just what every friends with benefits situation is like, and because mccoy's never had a fwb, he's just like......"that sounds wrong but I don't know enough about them to prove you wrong" and goes along with it.

point being that he is routinely getting to idk vulcan third base with spock, but spock is just like "odd that you think this is romantic and/or sexual, this is just vulcan friendship, doctor," and meanwhile he's supposed to be having quickies with kirk to blow off steam, but kirk keeps doing the most romantic shit and being like, "yeah, giving you roses is my kink, why are you being so weird about it" and mccoy's just. listen. he's dated around okay, he's not some shy blushing virgin, but he has made the tragic mistake of trusting his two best friends, and by george are they gonna abuse that trust (don't do this) in their attempts to win him over lmao.

I mostly keep thinking about other vulcans coming on board and them subtly realizing and reacting to spock's ~claim~ on mccoy, and spock being disgustingly smug about it, and meanwhile someone hits on mccoy and kirk swoops in and, like, tenderly cups mccoy's cheek and kisses him and then leaves, and mccoy's like, yeah, no, we're just friends?, and everyone around him is???? babe??? no you aren't???

is it possible to write this without mccoy coming off TOO oblivious and/or spock and kirk coming off TOO lacking of boundaries, I just don't know, but it does make me giggle now and again when I think about it

also the fact that he is going to genuinely murder them when he realizes what they've been doing, and they can't even complain, because they both know they absolutely deserve it.

[spaciebabie]

listen 2 me young paddawan....neglect not your social battery.....for the Consequences will be Disastrous

[rosalie-starfall]

Chappell Roan

I Heard You Like ✨Magic✨ I Got A Wand And A Rabbit! 💋

Red Wine Supernova

[khytal]

hi khytal

how are you?

I've been following you since you were in the p5 fandom during your pegryu era

and to witness how far you've came in terms of art and life makes me love you're acc and blog

I lost my account that had you followed on Instagram and Twitter and I was wondering if you still use any one of them or you've just been only on tumblr

love your art ^_^!

whoa that's wild.......I've been working full time and am too tired for much else but I'm making an effort to draw at least a bit more regularly now! I distanced myself from the persona community many years ago but I still show up for march 24th because pegoryu means that much to me :')

in terms of social media:

-tumblr: I am here the most even if it doesn't seem that way lmao. all art gets posted eventually one way or another and is easily found via my art tag

-bluesky (@/khytal): all new art will get posted here, and I have a doodle thread that I update with pretty much everything. it is also currently where I livepost some of the tokusatsu shows I've been watching (just finished kiramager and will be starting geats either tonight or tomorrow). not sure if I'll upload much of my older stuff aside from certain pieces bc my current hyperfixation is something new and I would. feel bad about blasting people with my toku posts

-twitter: still here but only to stay up to date with mutuals who don't really post anywhere else. I also have a doodle thread but it doesn't get updated with everything that my bsky thread does, and I'm somewhat undecided on whether I'll keep posting my finished pieces there

-instagram: I only do monthly life updates via my story. I stopped sharing my own art over a year ago (on occasion I put a few up on my story) and I don't really check the app much anymore, which is a shame bc it was where I first started posting art online :(

thank you for being here all this time! idk what else to say it's just cool to see we're. still on this site i guess lmao