#she knows i’m gettin up there lmfao

[housecow]

so. i’m going on a cruise relatively soon.. already having to plan excursions based on activity levels and weight limits to things 🫣

anyways. goal is to eat and return heavier than i was

[mimasroom2]

Poolside fun ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა

I went to the pool today and I was UNASHAMEDLY checking out this HOTTTTT mom. Like guys if you saw her omg. So that’s where this idea came from😇 I feel like I keep writing the same thing every time it’s just build up and then Ellie fingering you LMAO but it’s a classic. Wanted to make a more relaxed fic, I always end up adding plot. Started as headcanons but then it got too long.

C/w: Smut lol. Ellie is older in this one but reader is 19. Also Ellie is lowkey a perv…. like imagine if a man was doing this..🤢 it’s okay tho it’s Ellie so it’s automatically hot😜 Ellie the cougar LMFAO RAWWWWRRRRR. Mommy kink😞

W/c: 1.1k (I PROMISE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT)

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

You’re not really shy changing in front of people, especially if they’re strangers. I mean ur never gonna see them again. You still turn away from people and face the corner. You’re not like… walking around with ur pussy out for everyone to see😭

Ellie feels soooo lucky she decided to come to the pool today. She was debating not to, but when she saw your bare tits in the locker room she knew she was staying. She tried so hard to be discreet, so she waited a couple minutes until she followed you out into the pools (she set a timer LMAO). When she left the locker room she was pretending to decide which area to go to first, but she was really scanning for you and your sexy black swimsuit.

You decide to go into the main pool first and swim a few laps since you haven’t gone swimming in awhile. Ellie discreetly watches you from the next pool over and tries to gauge if you’re an extrovert or introvert so she knows how to best approach you. She decides you’re probably an introvert, so she thinks it’s best to keep her distance for awhile.

You see a bunch of kids and parents going down a tall ass water slide and ur like “why not” so you go get in line. Ellie is WAY TOO prideful to go down the slide, so she just sits on a bench and pretends to stretch until she sees you come out the bottom. You’re all smiling and giggling as you fall into the water, and she thinks it’s adorable.

OH YEAH! She’s wearing a black swim top sports bra type deal,,, and swim shorts that have dinos on them (the pic I included)

You finally see her as you get out of the water.

You have to do a double take because DAYUM she is hawttttt. She’s standing there all cool crossing her arms AND HER TATTOO OMGGG the pool is not the only thing that’s wet.

You decide to spend some time in the hot tub. There’s not a lot of people but the jets and everything drown the other conversations out, so you close your eyes and relax. You’re a couple minutes into your spa time when you feel someone’s thigh up against yours. You open your eyes and HOLY SHIT it’s the hot masc you swear was following you around.

She actually grins at you, “Sorry. Did I scare yah?”

You guys end up just making small talk about the pool and stuff. She says her name is Ellie. Turns out she’s a huge ass gym rat and likes to come in here to wind down (or.. at least that’s what she said.)

“You got a girlfriend?” You’re actually honestly shocked at how direct she is, so you stutter a little but end up saying ‘no’.

“Shit.. with a body like that I’m surprised no one’s snatched you up.” She looks you up and down and you swear your face would get hot if you weren’t already in a hot tub.

“How old are you anyway?” You ask and uhhh! Let’s just say you did NOT expect her to say 25. Good thing your cut off for milfs is 27😇

Her eyes widen and she fucking laughs when you say you’re 19. You try testing the waters (heh) and playfully splash her to which she pretends to be offended.

She makes you tell her more about yourself and when she thinks you’re not looking, she stares right at ur cleavage. You swear you see a fucking glimmer in her eye when you say you haven’t had a girlfriend in awhile. She may as well have giant lights that say ‘POUND TOWN’ behind her😭

You remark that the hot tub is getting to be too much and you’re probably gonna get out soon but you really don’t want to leave her

“I guess the hot tub isn’t the only thing that’s hot in here.” She knows it’s fucking cheesy and stupid but she smirks anyway.

You genuinely cannot hear her over the jets “What?” You scoot closer to her.

“I guess the hot tub isn’t- fuck.. just come with me. Okay, darlin’?” She stands up and waves at you to come with her.

You follow her into the locker room and there’s HELLA people so you’re all ‘really this is where we’re gonna do it?’ She walks out of the locker room and looks you up and down before she opens one of the massage rooms. She tells you she swiped the key from a worker who was clocking out :0. So she opens it and everything and WOW is this straight out of your fantasies.

“Take this off.” She closes and locks the door. You turn around to face her and start peeling off the wet swimsuit from your body. She leans against the door and watches you.

Once it’s finally off Ellie walks up to you and starts unashamedly grabbing your tits. You bite your lip, trying not to make any noise at the most basic contact. She looks into your eyes and then smashes her lips against yours, reaching down to rub your pussy. You moan and she slips her tongue inside your mouth. It almost makes you feel disgusting, with how vulgar this whole situation is. She’s sucking on your tongue while she continues palming you.

She leads your body over to the little massage bed. “Already so wet just from that, huh?” She smirks and slowly spreads your legs open.

“Not my fault you’re experienced and hot- oh fuck mmmh”

“Whoever said it was a fault?” She says and swift pushes two fingers into you without warning. You arch your back and start breathing even heavier, even though she’s going so slow. She has her head close to your pussy and is basically staring at how her fingers look going in and out as she’s fucking you. “Stretch you out nice n good.”

“Fuck.. please Ellie gimme more..” she makes eye contact and glares at you. She definitely doesn’t want you talking over her.

She speeds up her pace, until her fingers are slamming inside you over and over again. Part of you wants to tell her to stop so that it can last longer. Your moans start becoming more audible, and both hands are gripping the soft blanket beneath you.

“Come on. Mama’s got yah.” You never thought you’d find a mommy kink so attractive, but you feel yourself fucking clench around her fingers. When she can tell you’re about to cum, she puts her lips around your clit and starts to suck on it, you scream and whimper until your orgasm arrives. You let out guttural moans, and you couldn’t even care if other people at the gym can hear you with how much you needed this.

“Cmon, let’s get yah back in the hot tub so you can properly wind down.”

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

[neuvistar]

MARYSE IM SONASORRY BUT MINOR SPOILERS IN THE BLUE LOCK MANGA !!

there was this one momeny where isagi was abt to be kicked by a particular guy and then he was kinda saved by chigiri, and bachira came n started cracking his knuckles n he was probs abt to beef w the dude cuzzz 😍😍 like he was like “if you wanna go, i’m down” LIKEEEE 😍😍😍 he’s soooo..

— 🍨

MINOR SPOILERS EVERYONE <33 oh my days. i’ve started the manga a few days ago n yk continued on from where i finished in the anime n now i’m very far into it LMFAO so so fast! i think i know what you mean, it was with shidou right?? I THINK I SAW THAT. I WAS FREAKING OUT HE WAS RLLY GETTIN READY LMFAOO <33 he’s so cute, he deserves a writing from me! here you go 🍨 anon, didnt even request for it but it’s fine i love my anons!

maryse from the future ^.^ — MY OTHER BELOVED ANONS I SQEAR ILL FINISH OTHER WORKS I SWEAR I APOLOGIZE

FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY.

— featuring . meguru bachira x fem!reader

— warnings / content warnings . sfw. cringe warning cringe warning waha!! bachira bein there for you how sweet of him, a lil bit of she/her pronouns, perhaps reader is hinted to be a lil shorter in height, hints of violence but i promise it’s not that bad ૮꒰⸝⸝´ᜊ ˋ⸝⸝꒱ა, um kinda ooc maybe?? IDK i gave up halfway and this may be a lil short n terrible but oh well it’s ALRIGHT i’m tired overall sfw content, not much warnings woohoo !! tell me if I should add / missed a few things ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა

ੈ‧₊˚ “i’ll be willing to do anything to protect you”

✦ MEGURU . BACHIRA

frustrated. bachira was frustrated at the sound of chuckles and loud chattering from the men he was a few feet across from, gosh.. do they have to be this loud? it was just a few minutes after his game ended, he was exhausted and these two people weren’t helping at all, he grew more frustrated by the second. he glanced at the two for a good two minutes, cocking a brow. now hang on.. those were the guys that were speaking ill about you!

“the lady that gave him the bottled water? she’s his girlfriend?! quite the taste meguru bachira has.”

“nuh uh quit lying to yourself, she doesn’t look too pleasing. if anything, i’ve seen better looking women. see now, i don’t even know why bachira picked someone unattractive like her, i thought he’d have a better taste when it comes to women.”

“well it appears he doesn’t”

bachira’s heart dropped to his stomach, just what the hell were they on about? he bit the inside of his cheek, running his fingers through his hair before crossing his arms clearly upset at what the two guys had to say about you. he was getting even more and more frustrated by the second, who are they to tell him if his partner looks attractive or not, that isn’t their decision to make! fuck.. he couldn’t take it anymore. bachira stood up, making his way over to the two boys talking ill about you. “ahem.” the duo looked at each other then back at him, letting out a few laughs here and there. he’s basically told everyone around him about you, so much even people know about you both but these two guys don’t seem to get it. bachira knew how sensitive you were, he knew how quick you can take insults to heart, he wants to take matters in his own hands at times and protect you.

“to me, it seems as if you both seem to have the guts to talk ill about someone you don’t even know personally, thinking i wouldn’t hear what was running in your mouths.” he glared at the two, taking a step forward towards them.

“shit dude why are you so angry, can’t take a joke?”

“yeah, we were just joking. you’re getting all aggressive n defensive for nothing”

bachira’s body tensed, clenching his fists. did they really have to edge him on even longer? he was losing his patience, he wanted to tell these boys to scram already. unfortunately, the duo did not speak my further, attempting to walk out only to be stopped by bachira himself. “listen here, if i ever hear you both run your mouths about her once more, i’ll show you how aggressive and defensive i can get” “trying to sound all tough are ya? what are you going to do huh?” he smirked, cracking his knuckles. “guess we’ll have to find out.”

— buuuwwep !! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ꒱ྀིა

“meguru!” you ran up to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his neck as your nose picked up his scent, lips curving into a smile. “missed you so much, y’know that?” he grinned, hands resting on your hips, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. you’re too sweet.. even though his mood changed when he saw you, he still can’t help but repeat whatever those guys said about you in his head, he exhaled lowly and grabbed your hand, kissing it before holding it tightly against his own. tilting your head and looking up in curiosity, you couldn’t help but sense something unusual about your boyfriend, “something the matter, meguru?” bachira tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

“ah. . nono it’s nothing, how about we go cool down with some ice cream? it’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” “of course, let’s go” deep inside of his heart, he couldn’t help but feel upset for you. who do those people think they are? they think they can just walk in and talk ill about someone as sweet as you are? most people have no human decency, he thought. he cant let you know about anything, he was willing to block all kinds of negative things from you, protect you from anything that tries to harm you in any way.

“if i’m being honest i never expected her to even get together with bachira, she doesn’t really suit him.” a voice can be heard from the opposite direction from where you and him were walking, he sighed to himself. if only he could protect you from everything, but sometimes he can’t always be your knight in shining armour, and that’s frustrating to him. if only he was always there by your side, he wanted to be by your side, he wanted to always be there for you but he is aware he can’t always be there beside you, someday he knows that you’ll overhear something from others.. someday and somehow. but regardless of anything, bachira is willing to prevent you from hearing ill things about you, he is willing to do anything to protect you, for you and you only.

This is so rushed omg i’m so sorry it’s late at night i’m losing my mind ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა — Maryse

[twixremix]

3ish more weeks until i’m fully free from being in covid isolation for almost an entire year. i’m absolutely still going to wear a mask tho since the vaccine doesn’t stop me from shedding the virus to others BUT!!! i can finally get my own groceries again and hug my grandma once she gets her vaccines

honestly, what a truly fucked up time for the world but the chaos and hopelessness over the last calendar year has made me realize to never take for granted all of the little things like getting groceries and hugs. i actually am gettin a little choked up typing this thinking how long it’s been since i’ve been hugg- lmfao that sounded pathetic so i won’t finish it but u know what i mean.... just.... really excited and hopeful after one of my longest periods of depression, suicidal thoughts (i wrote my entire fuckin last will and testament but never got around to individual goodbye letters other than 2), and severe anxiety

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Maltese Falcon Job

leverage 2.15

Hardison (checking phone): Guys, they are ripping through Nate and Tara's cover stories. All their financials are blown. So look, until I know what they know, no credit cards, no debit cards, no ATMs, nothing that can be traced back to us. OK? Cash in hand only.

- - - - -

Nevins (on phone): No, not a safe house. Interpol wants Culpepper someplace off our system. We're taking him to the Governor Hotel.

Nate: OK, that's it. That's where we're gonna hole up.

Tara: The Governor Hotel?

Nate: Yeah.

Tara: The hotel crawling with FBI?

Eliot: FBI and Interpol.

Nate: Yeah, you know, it's the one place in Boston they won't be lookin' for us. Come on, we just gotta get there first

smart

- - - - -

Tara: Oh, thank God! I just stepped out to get the paper and then my door closed behind me and I tried to find a house phone, but you guys don't have those anymore. (drops towel) Oops.

Man: Uh...

(Eliot and Parker look down the hall, then at each other, then down the hall)

parker, g i r l, close your mouth

they were both slightly Into It™ and you can’t change my mind

- - - - -

Hardison: In-room checkout. (sits down on bed with keyboard) OK, look, this means that I have access to the hotel's billing computers. It's a big ol' backdoor in every hotel room in America. (hacks system) As of right now, we've been here for a week, and our reservations are good for another week, courtesy of this man's platinum card, Mr. Ogden Shields, who has spent a lot of time in the adult section of pay-per-view. I mean, did he even leave the room?

Parker: In-de-panties Day?

~ a few moments later ~

(Parker takes keyboard from Hardison’s hands)

Eliot: All right, I'm gonna go get some keys made. I'm goin' to the gym. Make sure I can charge stuff on the room.

Hardison: I gotcha.

(women moaning on TV)

Parker: Wow, she really wants that car clean.

Hardison: That’s-that's enough of that

parker is baby and hardison wants to protect her from that nastiness

- - - - -

Nate: Why do we care about him?

Hardison: 'Cause he's big on the surplus weapons market.

Eliot: (laughs) That's just a polite way of saying arms dealer.

Tara: His specialty's buying cheap guns from Third World countries and reselling 'em.

- - - - -

Nate: Don't worry about Sterling.

Eliot: Did you just say, "Don't worry about Sterling?"

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about Sterling. What you don't think I can beat Sterling?

Eliot: I think in the last six months, Nate, I've heard you talk about beating the Triads, beating the Russians. All right? Maggie's boyfriend. Huh? How'd that work out? We all said that meet was a bad idea, right? But you got a taste for taking down this Mayor and you can't resist.

Nate: You wanna walk away? Walk away.

Eliot: I'm not walkin' away. It's not my job. My job is to get your back. And, Nate, I'm gonna do it. All the way down. But I need you to do your job.

Nate: And what's that?

Parker: Be Nathan Ford. Be the person we came back for

PARKER BABY she showed emotion I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

(Eliot holds up the piece of paper taken from Bonanno’s house that reads ‘Maltese Falcon’)

Eliot: That's still bugging me, man.

we love to see eliot confiding/leveling with hardison

- - - - -

Parker: Ooh! But, uh, I have mini-bar.

her in the maid outfit with the french accent

+ HER WINK IM GAY

- - - - -

Nate: You help Tara and Parker. I'm gonna stall Sterling.

Hardison: How?

Nate: I'm thinking.

(Sterling gets into an elevator. Nate heads up the stairs, stopping at every floor to push the elevator button. Sterling begins to get irritated when the elevator stops at every floor but never sees Nate, who gets progressively more tired as they go upward)

[Hallway]

(Sterling gets off on the 14th floor. Behind him, Eliot pushes his cart into the elevator. Sterling glances at him but the door closes before he can get a good look. Sterling approaches the door the FBI agents are guarding)

petty and fucking ICONIC I wouldn’t have the stamina for that but neither would nate tbh and honestly he was probably running on pure spite to make that happen and I respect him for that

- - - - -

Parker: Housekeeping!

(she goes inside, pulling her cart in behind her. Once in the room, she finds Tara and Hardison in the window. Hardison is tangled in his line, and Tara is trying to help him)

Hardison: Ow. That's... Stop. Hey, I got this. Stop. I don't need help.

Tara: Clearly you do.

Hardison: I got this. I got this. Go.

LMFAO E V E R Y TIME

we love to see the running bit of hardison utterly FAILING at anything rappelling related

- - - - -

Culpepper: Where are the agents? Where are the agents? There should be two FBI agents standing at the door.

(Eliot walks in with Parker thrown over his shoulder)

Nate: Did you have to?

Eliot: She saw our faces.

Nate: OK. Yeah, put her in the tub with the others.

(Eliot takes her into the bathroom)

- - - - -

eliot can always knock a bitch out with one (1) punch

- - - - -

Sterling: So, I'm gonna make you a deal. You find Kadjic, tie him to the guns, I'll give you a free pass. Just this once, you get to walk away with your record wiped clean.

Nate: My team?

Sterling: They go down. Every last one of 'em. They deserve to go down. They're criminals, Nate. Thieves. So that's the deal. You bring me Kadjic and the guns, and I cut you and you alone loose. Because at the end of the day you're always right. You're not a thief. This is your second chance.

(Sterling picks up the flask and walks away)

this was actually really interesting to see. sterling leveled with nate. he knows nate, knows how he works, thinks he knows who nate really is on the inside. they have a Past™

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah. No. I... I, uh... Listen, I need you to come back. Um... I need you. Uh, I need you.

[Interior Helicopter]

Sophie: No, no, no. Speak up. I'm traveling and...

[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Not the team. Me. For me. Not for a con. I just... Listen, I... I don't know who I am anymore, Sophie. And, ah... When, when I was chasing you and everything and we were doing cons, I knew who I was, but not anymore. As crazy as this sounds, I need you to tell me, tell me when I'm goin' too far. I mean, it just... It gets out of control and I just don't know who I am and, and you've always been... .y compass. And, you know, I care about you more than yo-you'll ever know, because I lo... I lo...

lmfao when the signal is lost? tragic

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a flannel in the final scenes

- - - - -

the obama portrait very visible in the background of the government building? we love to see it

- - - - -

eliot DING DONG WE’RE HOME spencer owns my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

Nate: What are you doing?

Eliot: Countin' all the guys with guns.

Nate: How many?

Eliot: A lot

smart and TOTALLY an eliot thing to do

- - - - -

Parker: Don't worry. No one's ever died going in through an air duct.

Tara: Oh, this is comforting.

Parker: I mean, worst case, you slip and fall. Break your legs. Lay there for days, scratching on the metal. It's like a long, metal coffin with wind. (excited) Let's go!

(Parker runs across the roof)

she’s baby and I love her. never, ever change parker

- - - - -

Computer: Match identified.

Hardison (bending over keyboard): Damn, you finally found something, half-pint?

HE CALLS HIS COMPUTER HALF PINT ??? ICONIC

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, where are you?

Parker: Sorry, had a buzz from the alarm system, I couldn't hear a... thing. What?

(Parker’s face hardens and she heads for Tara, who is putting the rappelling gear back in the oxygen tank)

Tara: Parker, what's wrong?

(Parker grabs Tara by the throat and pushes her back until she is leaning over the edge of the building)

~~~

Tara: You're really strong.

Parker: Yeah. I hang from buildings with my fingertips.

Tara: It's not what you think. I was setting up a meeting!

Parker: Actually, that was exactly what I was thinking. Bye now.

Tara: Not for myself

- - - - -

ANNIE KROY IS BACK

- - - - -

(Eliot, his hands tied, is being led to some stairs by two goons.)

Man: I'll get the hatch.

(one man moves ahead of Eliot while the other stays behind him. When Eliot doesn’t follow the first man up the stairs, the second pushes him)

Man 2: Come on.

Eliot: Thirteen.

(Eliot and the second man struggle, sending gunfire rifling across the ceiling before the second man is knocked down. The first man comes back and kicks Eliot in the face. Eliot kicks him in return)

Eliot: Come here!

(Eliot swings his hands across the first man’s face, knocking him back)

Eliot: Twelve.

(Eliot knocks the first man out)

Eliot: Eleven.

(Eliot starts up the stairs, but hears someone else coming and waits around a corner. After a brief struggle, he knocks this man out as well and breaks the zip ties on his wrist)

Eliot: Ten. (heads up the stairs

HOOOOO BOY

MARK ME DOWN AS SCARED AND HORNY

also if parker and hardison know what he was doing? they’d be marked down as the same

- - - - -

Tara: All she asked was that I report back to her every now and then. Are we sure this is the fastest way?

Parker: Yeah, look. (looking at car GPS) There's no traffic this way. So, you were spying on us.

Tara: I was not spying. I was an early warning system. Sophie just, she was worried Nate might go off the rails. So, if it ever looked like he was spinning out of control, I was supposed to call and let Sophie lay in a backup plan just in case.

Parker: Yeah. Why not us?

Tara: Because you were too likely to forgive him.

Parker: I suppose gettin’ busted by the FBI and trying to bring down arms dealers while kidnapping a mayor does qualify as out of control.

Tara: So, anyway, I used my contacts to get Sophie set up as a buyer for the guns. You know... You actually had me worried for a second that you were gonna drop me.

Parker (laughs): That is silly

- - - - -

(Hardison is carrying a large monkey wrench and smiling. He hears noises and goes to investigate, seeing Eliot starting up a ladder)

Hardison: Hey. It took you long enough.

Eliot: What?

(Eliot starts toward Hardison, but a man points a gun to his head)

Man: Freeze.

(Eliot grabs the gun and knocks the man out)

Eliot: One.

Hardison: What

hardison if he knew what eliot was doing: hot damn

- - - - -

(the team gathers together. Parker hugs Sophie)

Sophie: Ooh. Parker touching.

Parker: Kinda, yeah.

- - - - -

Eliot: There's not that many ways out of here.

Sophie: Eliot, when I arrange a rescue, I do it properly.

(a helicopter lands on the docks near the ship. The team heads down the stairs, but Nate hesitates, looking down at the blood on his hand from his side. He goes down the ladder to join the team on the lower deck)

- - - - -

Nate: I've destroyed all the evidence the FBI has on Culpepper and Kadjic. You have no photos, no tapes, you don't have anything. You don't have a case on anybody, unless you arrest me. And only me.

Sophie: Nate?

Nate: I agree to turn state's evidence. I testify to what Kadjic told me, how he put the hit on Bonanno. Hell, I'll even give you Bonanno's evidence against the gunrunning.

Eliot: Nate, I can take these guys.

Hardison: It's just ten more yards to the chopper, man.

Nate: Listen, guys. I got you into this mess. This is the only way to get you out.

eliot is still ready to fight for his family no matter what and hardison just wants them to leave because they’re SO CLOSE

- - - - -

Nate: Come here.

(the team moves closer to him)

Nate: You guys are the most honorable people I have ever met in my life. You've become my family. My only family. I won't forget that. (looks at Eliot) Now get 'em on the chopper. Please. Now!

Eliot: Let's go.

(Eliot nudges Parker and she reluctantly heads for the gangplank. Eliot touches Hardison’s arm)

Eliot: Let's go, man.

(Hardison walks away. Eliot hesitates a moment, shaking his head, then follows the others, hesitating at the top of the gangplank near Sterling)

nate trusts eliot, and only eliot, to be the one to be able to get the rest of the team out of there and into the helicopter. he knows eliot and how much he cares for his family and will do anything to make sure they’re safe, and nate is betting on that to get them out of there

eliot has to be the one to make parker and hardison move because they’ll listen to him and also there would be a good chance that they’d try to stay with Nate otherwise

+

his gentle hands leading them away have my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

(Sophie and Eliot get on the helicopter, Eliot hesitating one last time before getting in)

this hurts eliot so much because he’s the RETRIEVAL SPECIALIST and he’s supposed to get everyone safe and never leave anyone behind I’m-

- - - - -

Agent: Who the hell is this guy?

Sterling: I don't know.

Nate: My name's Nate Ford, and I am a thief.

(more sirens are heard. Nate begins laughing as the helicopter lifts off and more police cars and agents arrive, surrounding Nate and the dock. Nate watches the helicopter fly away)

MAJOR character development for nate this season (2.01 had him refusing that he was a thief and in multiple other episodes in this season)

oh and also, y’all, just like last season, if I had to watch this go down like that with my own two eyes and have that be the end of leverage (because they close every season like it’d be the last) I would have fucking R E V O L T E D

[azureartwave]

I'm feeling very anxious and guilty for drawing stuff for myself while I have a lot of owed art, but not posting content makes me feel bad as well, so I thought I'd throw a little something and get some random sketched I had lying around of OCs of mine :') 1- Her name is Altaria! I have like a headcanon that there are other pony kingdoms in equestria and that perhaps she could be the Leader of one of them. Altaria would be the Leader of a pegasi nation perhaps, one that leaves entirely in the clouds and is heavily connected to weather. She can conjure storms and lightning, and weather often shifts depending on her mood. She actually inherited her title really early bc her father, the previous leader died in battle, so she's kinda gettin the hang of it. She lets her emotions get to her too much (she's stubborn and easily gets mad at something) so sometimes she's  unconsciously causing storms and the other pegasi around her have to remind herself to calm down. Altaria's original design was adopted from duppydoodles on (deviantART) 2- Her placeholder name is Lazy Daze, idk if I'll keep it. She's works at a arometherapy shop, though she's often seen sleeping in the counter. She was adopted from Hope-of-morning (deviantART) 3- This is an old Lunashy character of mine I first showed here ages ago. I decided to rename her Lucid Dreams. Although she's was born a Pegasus she has some magical habilities that can somehow come off as a little eerie to some ponies. She has a spectral-ish presence and can literally fade away into mist or disappear in shadows. Her voice sounds like a constant whisper and she probably has telephaty and clarividence abilities. She's likely blind but no one ever really knows because she's got some sort of 6th sense that just makes her feel and know things and live quite normally. Lucy is too shy to interact with ponies in person, she's rarely seen or ever leaves the castle, most ponies never hear of her. She's more likely to show up to others during their sleep in their dreams (mostly to children). She's become sort of a "tale" among the people in the kingdom since they never actually see her but children often say they saw a kind and pretty princess in their dreams. Mom's will likely tell their children that if they're nice the princess will show up in their sleep and bless them with good dreams... Or if they misbehave, she's gonna punish them lmfao (that part is more of a rumour moms made than actually true).

[all-hail-stevinel]

Im curious as to how the boys found out about universe lmfaooo

Lol this one was really fun to answer, lemme give some background on the bois relationship with Steven and Universe bc its not really how they found out, but how they met

The bois and Steven:

Steven is of course, one whole jealous slut, but he does try to get along with the boys bc Spinel cares about them and wants them all to be friends and he’s so weak when it comes to his gem boo and her puppy dog eyes

Its just so hard, bc no matter how nice the guys are, Steven will see one of them pick Spinel up or hug her for a second too long and suddenly he’s like a fuckin walking pink glow stick of seething jealousy (much to Spinel’s glee)

She’ll not so subtly try to plan ways to make him hang out with the boys and they all go along with it bc she’s just too cute and so eager for them to like each other

“Oh Stevie, didja kno Sammy likes ta’ garden? You should show him your greenhouse, you guys could have plant parties!”

*deep awkward sigh* “...Sure, Sweetheart.”

The bois actually all really admire Steven. Its hard not to considering he’s all Spinel really talks about and they all love her to pieces. They’re all slightly older than Steven and remember what it was like to be younger and in a new relationship, so they kinda enjoy teasing him a bit about his jealousy and possessive behavior 

Timeline wise, Spinel met the boys almost a month before Universe made his first appearance, so she had a lot of time to bond with them, much to Steven’s ongoing frustration lol

Steven still has a ton of little homeworld responsibilities, so while he did cutback so he could have more time with Spinel, he’s still busy more often than not. They’ve been dating for nearly four months though, and Spinel is a lot better at dealing with time and distance away from Steven because of her own friendships with Lapis and Peridot that she hangs with when not with the diamonds. but outside of Connie, she struggled with making human friends. So when she became buds with the gang, whenever Steven’s too busy she’s usually with them, having fun, and it drives him crazy lmfao 

The worst part is, it'd be easy for Steven to hate them if they weren't such nice assholes. They're so sweet and kind to his Spinel, and so protective of her which he can admit he appreciates. Once Marcus, who despite his intimidating height is waifishly thin and about as intimidating as a wet kitten, confronted him by fish stew pizza because he thought Spinel might be gettin mistreated. While it had been awkward to stutteringly explain that Spinel was in fact very consenting to his um..assertive treatment, it had made him weirdly happy to know she had made such caring and thoughtful friends

But then Universe arrived, and it was like the game leveled up for the bois

The bois and Universe:

They found about him via Spinel, of course, bc she told them maybe a day or two after they had discovered it and the “Who Can Leave The Biggest Hickeys On Spinel?” competition began btwn Steven and Universe

“Holy SHIT, Spinel! Did you get mauled by a fuckin bear???”-Sammy, wide-eyed and impressed

“Or two bears? A circus? Damn girl, we didn’t even see you yesterday, whats Steven got to be mad about?”-Kyle, too high for this

“Heh...funny you should ask…”

So she explains the situation bc while they’ve been teaching her human stuff, Spinel really enjoys teaching them gem things, including Steven’s weird-ass diamond powers which the bois are always excited to hear about but this really throws them all for a loop 

“So like...he’s your boyfriend...but not?? There two of him now??” - Josh, in the middle of an existential crisis

“Kinda! There were always two, i mean Stevie’s a fusion so yeah. But i don’t call the pink him that, I uh-” *blushes* “I gotta call him Universe.”

“So they are different people then? And his other half is pink?”- Marcus, ready to paint approx 178 murals about this

“Yes and no. they’re both Stevie, just...also not? Different parts of him that make the whole, but I don’t love either any less and yes he’s pink.”

The Bois decide this sounds like the coolest shit ever and need to see Universe right away

However, upon hearing that he usually only comes out when Steven’s asleep, our chaotic gang of miscreants decide to lure him out like the idiots they are. They figure Universe is as jealous as Steven, (he’s worse, just not towards Steven lol) so they plan a beach day and invite everyone they know to it

They then spend the entire day flirting up a storm and I’m talking The Bachelor level™ type flirting. Absolutely ridiculous and hilariously sexual, making Spinel crack up and blush the whole day as they shower her with attention and always keep her just out of her boyfriends reach much to Steven���s evergrowing frustration.

It finally comes to a head when Josh asks Spinel if gems need sunblock lotion or if they cant get a sunburn, and she says that she probably can’t but it’d be fun to try if he didn’t mind helping her with it. The poor man doesn’t even get to grab her a bottle before suddenly there’s a heavy hand on his shoulder with a matching hard grip as furious pink eyes glare out at him from Steven’s face looking positively deadly.

“That’s. My. Spinel.” is the only words Josh has ever had Universe say to him, and he can say with confidence he would very much like to keep it that way. The pink-eyed boy had then turned to a turned-on Spinel, scooped her blushing form up and over his shoulder, and walked away without a backward glance, leaving the bois stunned on the sand

They haven’t seen much of him since, but its not due to a lack of trying bc these lemming brained bois like to push their luck (and when they saw Spinel the next day, even though she looked absolutely ravaged, she also had the biggest smile on her face, looking completely lovesick) so in the end, its a game everyone wins lol

[anunvalidcritic]

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER VERSE

                                                MOVIE REVIEW

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

June 27th, 2019 the year of our Lord (whichever one that may be) I watch a spectacular movie that I can truly say that the awards won were well deserved. Spider-Man was the first superhero I can truly say I looked up too and he’s super duper awesome my dudes. I plan on rewatching the movie again so I can complete this post.

Man, this post is gonna be extremely long but it’s totally worth it!

I FUCKING LOOOVVVEEE THIS INTRO MAAAAAAANNNNN!!

“With great powers come great responsibility” - UNCLE BEN

AHHHHH THEY DID THE SPIDER-MAN 3 DANCE DEAD

YOU’RE MY SUNFLOWER!!!!!!!

The love that his parents give is amazing.

I’m glad to see an ethnic spiderman its dope that he speaks Spanish and English.

I understand that Spider-man is a vigilante

“With accountability comes great accountability“ - JEFFERSON DAVIS

He didn’t have to do MILES like that lol

DEAD THAT CLASS WAS QUIET AF

AYYYEEE THE CITY IS BUMPIN’ TONIGHT!!!!!

LOL MILES needs to get his face off that window.

Ayyee black people really do that stuff with that chill talkin’ being all smooth and shiiii ROFL

OOFFF

AHHH SHIT IT’S GOING DOWN WITH THE GRAFFITI AND THE SPIDER

SPIDER BITE

LMFAO BOOP!

Damn his roommate just loves to study.

That is a lot of sweat tho

“I’M A MAN.“ - MILES

Haircut looks cool though if you ask me.

“EVERYONE KNOWS!” - MILES

“WOAH SHE’S TALL” - MILES

PETER droppin’ bops huh??

OOOO THAT LANDING WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was some freaky shit when that spider glitched though. It kinda turned into a thriller movie for a minute.

DAAAMMMNNN a normal person would be dead

“Stanton Island maybe but not Brooklyn!” - PETER

You better catch him!!!

he better not say you only get one of th…….. AAAHHHHH HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!

PROWLER got a lot of balls flyin’ up on him like that.

WILSON FISK IS TOOOO FUCKIN’ BIG!!!!!!!

Dang, these glitches remind me of when Vanellelope has hers. (I think her name is spelled wrong but it’s whatever at this point.)

You know whenever people make promises they sometimes are hard to keep.

WTF HE’S BLONDE!!!!!!!! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST KILLED… AHHHHHHH

ROFL “Yeah I think it’s a BANKSY.” - BYSTANDER

RIO is the sweetest mom ever.

PETER should not have gone out that way! MAAAAANNNNNN

STAN LEE R.I.P

Boy, you better not jump off that building that black in you bette… LOL, HE TOOK HIS ASS RIGHT BACK DOWN!

damn, he messed up the hard-drive.

Aww, I love that ominous blue and red lighting… good symbolism.

PETER B. PARKER

Spider-Man for the last 22 years

blah blah blah workin’ hard and fallin’ in love

15 years past

buried Aunt May

Split up with MJ

Seahorses mate for life 

“Could you image a seahorse seeing another seahorse… and then making it work.” - PETER B PARKER

pizza is life

YEAH, THAT BLONDE SHIT THREW ME FOR A LOOP TOO!

“Adios” - MILES

DAAAMMMNN he didn’t have to do PETER B like that!

“Looks like a child dressed like spider-man dragging a homeless corpse behind a train.” - POLICE OFFICER

Aye, I fuck with the song that was being played through that guy’s headphones even though I don’t even know what it was. 

“Why is your body another shape” - MILES damn that’s fucked up 

GOOODDDDDAMMMMN THAT GLITCH FUCKED HIM UP!

These fucking sweatpants man

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME.“ - MILES (black people love that line lol)

“You good with that Spider-Man?!“ - MILES

“In my universe, this place closed 6 years ago. I don’t know why.” - PETER B PARKER (Probably because the restaurant has a C rating)

Was lowkey waiting for a roach to crawl across something 

I LOVE THIS SONG!

“Spider-Man doesn’t wear a cape.” - MILES (He doesn’t wear sweatpants either)

How tf did WILSON FISK get his BIG ASS INTO THAT CAR?!?!?!

lol his booty jiggled a bit hehehehehe

hold up this chick sound like Jessie from Toy Story…

WOAH either she a freak or she likes pushing people

“And I for one can’t wait to watch.” - DR. OC (WTF DID SHE JUST SAY!!)

LOL, HE HIT ‘EM WITH THE ‘HEY’.

Aww, they’re having a bonding moment! 

GWEN STAC(E)Y UP IN THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last 2 years

Joined a band

Saved her dad

Couldn’t save her PETER PARKER

Doesn’t do friends to save herself feeling.

Oh, we’re getting a little WILSON FISK flashback.

Damn, why is she driving so fast…

Something like that was bound to happen I’m sorry to say. 

This dude really got some board shoulders.

SPIDER PEOPLE

Why does PETER B PARKER have on two different types of shoes?

BRUH AUNT MAY CAME FOR HIM!

DAAAANNNGG AUNT MAY THUGGIN’ HUH!?!?!?!?!

TRIGGERED

DEAD AUNT MAY has “HELLO MY NAME IS …” cards

“Wherever I go, the wind follows.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

BRUH JOHN MAOULNEY

SPIDER-MAN NOIR

Year: 1933 

Job: Private Eye

Likes: Drinking egg creams and fighting Nazis (A LOT)

“Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something anything.”

PENI PARKER SPIDER

Year: 3145

Has a psychic link with a spider that lives inside of her father’s robot.

Lost her father

BEST BUDS FOR LIFE

SPIDER-HAM

PETER PORKER

Bitten by a radioactive pig 

Photographer for the Daily Beagle

Usually, when he’s not working like a dog he chasing a story

Likes to frolic and dance while doing it in his pants. 

SAD FACE EMOJI

if stitch had a glitch lol

PETER B PARKER really puttin’ MILES on blast. 

STOP FUCKING CROWDING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie is back on their spooky ooky shit

Damn only if he knew his uncle was the PROWLER...

LOL, THAT MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

RUN BOY RUN THIS WORLD ISN’T MEAN FOR YOU!

BRUH PENI’S FACE!!!

“This is a pretty hardcore origin story.“ - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

“We don’t pick the ballroom we just dance.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

OOOFFF WHEN AUNT MAY SAYS TAKE IT OUTSIDE SHE MEANS IT!

Of course, MILES dad is on the way

OH, SHIT SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!

OH, FUCK!!!!!!

How the fuck you gonna be flying around without some type of bulletproof vest. DAMN SMH

Man, a kid should not be seeing someone die right in front of them. 

JEFFERSON didn’t deserve to find his brother that way. 

I’m glad they’re having a heart to heart to him. But that room is too small

“MILES the hardest part about this job is that you can’t save everyone“ - SPIDER-HAM

“Do animals talk in this dimension because I don’t want to freak him out.“ - SPIDER-HAM

Let the bodies hit the floor. 

“A leap of faith” - PETER B PARKER

At least his dad came by to speak to him.

He had that boy fucked up again!

AUNT MAY A THUG BRO!!!!

THIS SONG IS GETTIN’ ME HYPED UP AND I’M NOT EVEN IN THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Man them taking the bus is really killin’ me

Bruh the waiter

ROFL

BATTLE ROYALE BABY!!!!

YEAH MILES

“Do you have a problem with cartoons?!?!” - SPIDER-HAM

PENI I’m sorry to say but your BUD FOR LIFE is gone.

MILES is a smooth criminal!!

WILSON FISK BIG MAD!!

I find it so cool that each time they jumped back into the portal it was reflected off of them.

ROFL “That’s all folks” “Is he allowed to say that legally?”

WILSON FISK always tryin’ to hurt somebody damn!

NOBODY TOOK YOUR FUCKING FAMILY BITCH THAT WAS YOU! IF YOU TRULY KNEW YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD’VE KNOWN THAT SHE DIDNT GET JIGGY WITH THAT SHIT PERIOD!

THE SHOULDER TOUCH

MILES did that (with help of course)

C-Mobile = T-Moblie hehehehehehe

BRUH HE DID WILSON FISK DIRTY!!!

MILES MORALES

SPIDER-MAN for 2 days

Finally, finished his essay

Saved a lot of people

Spent time with his father

Got hit by a drone as well

Had a proper meeting with his roommate

Slapped his sticker where his dad won’t find it

Will always remember his friends. 

“Anyone can wear the mask. You can wear the mask. If you didn’t know that before I hope you know that now.“ SPIDER-MAN (MILES)

_________________________________

Y’ALL THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM! Everything and I mean EVERYTHING! So thankful I was able to salvage a little bit of it back. I really do wish I was able to get what I said at the end because I meant it. :( 

_________________________________

EDIT: I was fast forwarding through the movie to get it off of my “continue watching” list and I discovered something at the end! So I’ll be making a bit of an edit. (This is a reminder that you need to ALWAYS STAY AT THE END OF EVERY MARVEL! (smh I made a rookie mistake))

James Blake has such an amazing voice

MEANWHILE IN NUEVA YORK

“I was gone for less than 2 hours.” - MAN

THE BEST LESS 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE!

oooo the man’s name is MIGUEL 

Earth ‘67

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH THE MEME THE MEME!!!!!!!!!!

“How dare you point at me!” - SPIDER-MAN

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[ua-miruko]

[8/19]

ua-miruko

ey... we all need to talk... hmu when yall are available

@ua-todoroki​

?

ua-kaibara

I'm open now

ua-miruko

...

aiight

[Miruko literally just sends a .zip file of the case files she was handed by the Commission]

all the fuckery was caused by a villain. case is being worked on but figured it's something we should discuss

ua-kaibara

I'm.. Somehow unsurprised

ua-miruko

yeah lmao

that's what we said

ua-mar

....... I understand

It’s almost unsurprising if anything at this point is infiltrated by a villain 😔 

What are the odds something like that would happen........and we took the bait

ua-miruko

yeah

it's fucking frustrating

ua-mar

It’s not just frustrating. It’s......overwhelmingly irritating

Oh! Sensei! Is Inasa doing alright?😔 Haven’t heard much from him....

ua-miruko

idk

lot goin on...

gonna see if i can check on him today

fucker rly messed him up, i heard...

ua-mar

I see. Send my wishes of speedy recovery😔.

ua-miruko

i will. soon as its safe to, i'll let yall know so you can visit if you want

ua-mar

.......Sensei, I just wanted to say that I apologize for the shameful display that happened during all of it.  I didn’t put up a fight to save the others, nor did I help accomplish anything for the sake of surviving as a group. To be your intern, was.....a mistake. I can’t accept your training if I proved to fail you in the end 😔

ua-miruko

oi oi oi.... what the fuck is all this all of a sudden? did i ever say you failed me?

you puttin words in my mouth? 😡

ua-mar

....? I didn’t fail you?

ua-miruko

of course you didn't!! wtf

ua-mar

I......ok 😶. I also apologize if I made the intention to put words in your mouth, I promise to never give you that connection ever again.

But.....I promise on never letting you down Sensei! Even if I break all bones, I’ll always be loyal in your service

ua-miruko

try to avoid breakin your bones tho lol

you can't do shit if you're broken... got it? fuck... i ain't askin you to sacrifice it all for fuckin anyone

if you can handle it, do it!!! if you can't, fuckin back off and let someone else do it, alright?

we'll work on getting you stronger

cuz i get what you're feelin

sucks... not gettin to just bash away whatever gets you down sucks it sucks being weak

so i'mma get you to the point where you can be half as strong as me!!! 💪 😤 NO DITCHIN MY TRAINING 😡 tryna make me chase after you lol s2g

ua-mar

Half as you!!?😱 Are you really sure??

ua-miruko

... maybe 1/4!!!

ua-mar

.....DEAL!

Oh! Sensei, I hope this isn’t too far back, but were you okay back then? You seemed a little jumpy and red?🤔 If you needed water, I could’ve fetched it for you 😼! Dehydration is no joke!

ua-miruko

..... ?!?!????!!?!!

fuck you mean lmfao.... i don't GET jumpy

ua-mar

but you’re a bunny Ahaaa 😅 my apologies, I just never seen you like that before

Was it too hot in there? 🤔

ua-miruko

😡 😡 ...

ua-mar

......... 😅 😅 ahhhh nevermind then . I was worried about you.

ua-miruko

lmao

nahhh nothin to be worried about

i was like one of the only people NOT flippin my goddamn shit all over the place

ua-mar

Hmm! Absolutely true! You’re strong in all sorts of ways!!

I’m going to be 1/4th strong just like you 😤 💪 💪 💪 !

ua-miruko

you BETTER!!!

ua-mar

I WILL SENSEI 😤 . IM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP JUST YET 

😼 😼

ua-miruko

DAMN RIGHT

ua-todoroki

Hm.

ua-miruko

???

ua-todoroki

Idk.

I'd rather just forget about all this.

ua-mar

Ahh. Todoroki! Are you planning on visiting Inasa in the hospital? I can accompany you if want?

ua-todoroki

I can do it by myself.

ua-mar

Oh. Ahaaaa yeah! I understand! Some people need their space. Got it 👍

I wonder if Kaibara is okay as well 😔......

ua-miruko

yeah he's a quiet one

ua-mar

Ah! Sensei! 😻 Well you know what they always say, watch out for the quiet ones 😉!

ua-todoroki

:/...

ua-miruko

....can you speak up, kid....

ua-todoroki

Everyone keeps telling me that I did well.

I didn't.

I was just being a coward.

ua-miruko

oi.....what's making you think a thing like that, tho????

shit was impossible, it was supposed to be

ua-mar

So you’re saying it was inevitable? That our fates were to be doomed? ......the villains sabotaging it too is.....

...........ahhh😅 nevermind! I’m just a little tired 😓

ua-miruko

listen, if you're gonna say something, i want you to stick to it...dont be taking shit back the next second

yeah. villains try and make shit impossible. that's the point of 'em, that's all they ever wanna accomplish

our job...is not to let them...

...

sometimes they win tho

and when they win, you cant be sitting around bashing yourself. .

you gotta just get up and move on!! keep fuckin fighting them back til you kick through whatever BULLSHIT they managed

ua-mar

.........okay I understand 😔

Villains are inevitable but getting treated as a punching bag isn’t 😤

Miruko Sensei........I know things aren’t exactly in high spirits right now, but thank you, for everything.....

ua-miruko

havent done much that rly deserves gratitude lol....

but no prob

i gotta start doin better too so... 😤😤😤

ua-mar

You do deserve gratitude ☺️! You’re our Sensei! A respected hero in the Top 10!

You’re a strong person in a multitude of ways! Anyone that says otherwise will catch these hands (ง'̀-'́)ง

ua-todoroki

Even if it was impossible I wish I had done more. Confirmed it, at least.

ua-mar

Todoroki.....😔

I think Miruko Sensei wouldn’t like it if we kept on bashing ourselves 😔

ua-mar

We can build ourselves back up again as a team ☺️!

ua-miruko

.....yeah. haha

ua-mar

Sensei, I know Inasa is still in the hospital at the moment, so we’re not complete as a full team, but are we still going to be sticking to our training routines or will we be doing patrol duties?

ua-miruko

nah...i can handle patrols fine on my own

stick to training... we should resume em in a few days, yeah

ua-mar

Understood! We’ll commence with training!

[itasca00]

Thanks for tagging me, @americanphancakes! This was actually fun to do. 😁

rules: answer 21 questions about yourself and tag 21 people whom you want to get to know better :)

nickname/pet name: For the alliteration, I call my sister “Sister Sue.” Her name is not Sue. As retribution, she calls me “Brother Bear.”

zodiac: Aquarius

height: 6’2”

last movie: Mary Poppins Returns (I always try to see all the best picture nominations for the Golden Globes and Academy Awards before watching those award shows, and Mary Poppins Returns was the last of a five-movie back-to-back marathon I had on Saturday.)

last thing googled: I looked up whether “porting” is a technically correct term to use when rewriting software from its original language into a new language. I did not find a definitive answer, but I think it’s generally okay.

favourite musician: Lady Gaga

song stuck in my head: Currently “Hammer to Fall” by Queen.

other blogs: None

do i get asks: To date, I have gotten one ask. You can see it in all its glory here.

following: 13 (I actually thought I was following like 6 blogs, but some people just don’t post very much...*cough* Dan and Phil *cough*)

dream trip: I’ve been outside of the US exactly twice, and both of those trips were way back in 2006. I’d love to do some more international traveling. The countries at the top of my list are (in no particular order) Ireland, the UK, Finland, Germany, China, and India.

amount of sleep: I always get at least 7.5 hours of sleep. If I don’t, then I feel lethargic and irritable all day.

lucky number: 7

what i’m wearing: I’m currently sick, so I’m in my pajamas: black basketball shorts and a light grey T-shirt.

dream job: I would love a job where I could work from home on my own flexible schedule writing little (or not so little) programs to solve interesting and challenging problems.

fave food: My favorite class of food is seafood.

play any instruments: Nope.

languages: English, American high school level Spanish

fave songs: I don’t currently have any song that I would consider an all-time favorite, so here are my top-ten most played songs according to iTunes:

“Boys Gone Wild” by Scotty Dynamo

“Show Me Yours” by Scotty Dynamo

“Time Of Our Lives” by Scotty Dynamo

“Born This Way” by Lady Gaga

“The Monster” by Scotty Dynamo

“No Boyfriend” by Scotty Dynamo

“Gettin’ Over You” by David Guetta and Chris Willis feat. Fergie and LMFAO

“Chip Off The Block” by Machine Gun Kelly

“Human After All” by Daft Punk

“My Neck, My Back x Satisfaction” by Scotty Dynamo

random fact: I play League of Legends almost every day. Dan’s documentary The Supergamers is to blame for this.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: a periodic table of elements, the syntax of the Java programming language

tagging: If you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged. :)

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 2, 2019 // the inn/the storm

honestly i dont even know the time frame for these eps until the seance ep but im making assumptions i believe to be correct unless proven otherwise (dont prove me otherwise i dont actually want to know)

-"how am i supposed to believe that?" then why did u fucking ask??????? lmaooooooooo

-"if you ever want there to be trust between us" oh the ironyyyyyy (of course this only works 1 way lmfao)

-"sneaking around in trash cans" -miss scarlet voice- "communism was only a red herring"

-"we've met, haven't we?" 😩😩😩

-lucy's 'footsteps' in the house lead ryan to nancy's room / sounding like heartbeats on an ultrasound 😌💔

-"no traces of poison" O RLY KAREN. RLY. WONDER WHY THAT IS.

-karen is really eager to throw nick under the bus to protect herself/draw focus off of nancy as a two for one deal; interesting that it seems her focus on revenge and friendship with lucy appears to be more important than nick's trauma and her/his friendship with kate esp given her "i know the system favors the privileged" moments. karen is historically cutthroat but its interesting to see all her relationships are with white people/like shes willing to bend the rules sometimes, but strictly upholding them on others (like she steals nancys journal to throw carson under the bus but steals evidence to help nancy like the hat)

-given what we know of nancy's stringent morals, is nancy more or less strict in comparison to that?

-karen is trying SO hard to love this girl that she would have loved just as much if not more if she knew she was lucy's daughter

-💙my three peas in a pod in that booth gettin' goss

-"tiffany loved her hidden treasures" and in future eps laura seems to agree. tiffany seems really smart. why on earth would she marry ryan? same social circle sure but that is definitely not the reason. she must have been trying to take the hudsons down from day 1 of entertaining ryan (thus the natural causes clause) she gets that ryan is stupid and honestly not capable of much of anything himself/writes him off - his father is def the true goal here

-"he took a life once" okay sis. -sigh- UNPOPULAR OPINION: "like it was my job to ease her guilt for testifying against me" then later admits that he killed someone? nah. NAH sis. because listen. that Man made up his mind when he decided to rape someone. yes. Man. nick himself was a minor but rape is not a minor offense. that Man decided he was going to rape someone and nothing was going to stop him. and nick thinks HE'S a murderer?? when he had no intent to kill? i think we all know what happened there but what on EARTH do you think that friend he protected feels?? this kid went to PRISON FOR YEARS. because he chose to protect her. like imagine if she had tried to fight him off herself? imagine SHE was the one who pushed him thru a glass window and they told her, well, it wasn't worth his life...like she should have just let herself be raped rather than have him die?? like her lifelong trauma was not worth a Man's life. no. no honey. nick, you didn't do anything wrong. that Man decided he wanted to have sex with an unwilling person and wouldnt leave until he did. he decided to be a rapist. do NOT tell that girl that her rape would have been less worse than his death. he didn't even come at austin w the intent to kill. not a murderer. dont call yourself that ever again. don't take responsibility for his actions. because it wasn't just self defense. it was defending a fellow woman. and don't fuckin ask "what happened to dolores barrett" when you know what would have happened to your friend at that party if you weren't there. you. did. nothing. wrong.

-"but my real treasure are the rays of intelligence you have elicited from my brain, the languages you have implanted in my memory." 👌🏻

-anyone wanna discourse on what "a bargain has two sides, its not a gift, you gotta meet in the middle" means to you?

-nancy's smirk at tricking karen lmfaoooo

-wonder if lucy is also haunting carson/has been for years and he's just lying about not hearing footsteps etc. is she upset that they never told nancy the truth? is she trying to protect him from ryan? why did lucy pick now to start haunting nancy? bc tiffany? josh? kate died so she doesn't feel like she's overstepping now? (wouldn't it be funny as fuck if lucy's techno-touch made nancy's phone go to voicemail when carson called to keep her out of trouble 😂)

-"get your coat" sweet jesus, carson is such a bitch lmfao

-nancy makes the bookclub comment in the funeral ep but she clearly doesn't read the same kind of books as nick & tiffany did. "how did she reach you?" - this is honestly so telling. bc nancy doesn't know. she has no IDEA how to reach him. she knows none of these books, she recognizes ISBNs and inns around town but none of what nick is made of. this ep is what made me know for fact that nick and nancy wouldn't last.

-"turn back time" okay cher lmfaoooo

-checking "visitation logs" foreshadowing w gomber

-"my mother made salt circles around my high chair" in the seance ep bess comments how she does not envy victoria for seeing what she does. given george's proclivity to the supernatural, wonder what victoria's solo years being a single parent w george as her only child were like. if she was seeing shit like her newborn surrounded by darkness...

-"i'm gonna take my break" LMFAOOO BITCH U AINT BEEN HERE ALL DAY!!

-"how are you so calm??" its that emotional irregulation babey

and lastly:

-i do love how ace calls nancy to handle bess tho ☺️💙

[darkskin-papi]

Story time: when you lost your virginity

Lmfao okay 👌🏿

Story time: It starts off like this, i was at home in my room watching the book of life lol bored af & all lame! Until my two twin cousins friend came over, S/N they were staying with my family because they’re house caught on fire! But okay so fast forward now my twin cousins was in my sister room & they both walked out and my room is literally right next to my sisters room 💀😩 so ya kno walls be thin bruh 😂👌🏿 & i see them walking down the steps only to hear a loud as noise 🙄🤦🏿‍♂️ it’s they ass plus their friend lmfao she had slid thru for ya kno support and the fact that they literally don’t do NOTHING SEPARATE THEY GOTTA BE TOGETHER 😂🤦🏿‍♂️🙃! So my moms(mind you my moms DONT PLAY THAT SHIT) down stairs wit my two cousins mom talking and they bout to leave and head to my uncle’s house! But before they could dot off the twins asked my mom if they friend could stay the night lol 😂 and she like uhmmmm hell fuck nah at first but then she called they friend mom to get info cuz like i said she don’t play that shit, she like yeah she can so it started to turn late af and i come out the room and see their friend sitting down in the corner and i just looked at her she looked back with that mean mug face lmfao 🤷🏿‍♂️ I’m like uhhh ok….👌🏿 then i hop in the shower and hop out start gettin ready to lay it down, mind you i knew who their friend was and she knew who i was so outta no where everybody is like laying down and getting ready to sleep 😴! And see i got tactics and signals don’t sleep on me, so i went into the bathroom and used it to let her kno i was still up 🤫🤫🤫😂💀 and next thing you know as i was walking in my room and i closed the door! I heard a thump I’m like 😳😬😅 who could this be 🤔😰😱😨🧐😏🤨 it’s her I’m like oh shit! So I’m laying on the bed with no shirt on just my shorts and boxers lmfao & she got on these lil yoga looking pants or sum and she was skinny but OMG THAT ASS even with them pants on I’d still fuck! But enough so she decides she wants to watch what I’m watching and then she was like after the movie Ima leave I’m uhhh ok bet lol! So then as we watching she had her phone in her hand and i took it, she like give me phone back I’m like get it and next thing i know she reached over me and then her titties hit my chest & my face is literally eye to ass with the ass & im like damnnn 😛😩😭😍 so she like you must like my company huh i didn’t reply then we lay’d down and i got to feeling on her and shit & she start feeling on me! Omg that shit was everything so i started playing with her Pussy omg shit wass sooo wet then outta no where she took off them pants and panties & i slip the condom on mind you Idk what tf I’m doing but I’m doing it lol so i wetted my dick and the condom and pushed my dick in her pussy she jerked soo hard like 😰😩😱😦🤤😩😫 I’m lookin at her like what she can barely breathe I’m like damn okay so i started stroking and doing a lil sum and omg her pussy was sooooo fucking wet it felt like hella soft lips and water all in one! But it came to an end because i thought the condom busted and that someone would come in & we ended up just talking the rest of the night into the morning! And keep all of that in mind while understanding she had a bf & i know him but they weren’t together lol they was separated! I felt sooo bad and i did apologize to her and told her i had to stop because i thought the condom busted but it didn’t 😩😅🤷🏿‍♂️😌 thank god but now if that happened omg her ass wouldn’t be able to walk tbh when i would’ve gotten done 😂😅 but she didn’t even know she took my virginity lol she still don’t know but yup that’s how i lost my virginity 😂😭! Hope you and whoever else enjoys it… P.S ASK ME MORE SHIT ID LOVE TO TALK!!!

[anunvalidcritic]

Doom Patrol: Episode 1

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

I can’t fucking believe I’m 3 episodes behind son of a bitch! Let’s get this shit started!

                                                        PILOT

I’m really behind so let’s see if I can catch up, shall we...

Well for starters I enjoyed that intro very much.

... So we have a narrator that breaks the 4th wall...

“The mind is the limit!“

WTF! I honestly did not want to see that ass that soon!

“Crash and die babe.“

ROFL BRENDAN FRASER SAYING “WTF” WAS HILARIOUS!

”IS IT IN YET?” ROFL

Damn all he had to say was ‘flew’ and he ended up just saying “FUCK” SMH

ELASTI-GIRL is one foul BITCH!!! SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT SO SOON!

CLIFF saying “FUCK” is the highlight of this episode hehehehehe

“I thought you might want some fresh air.“ - NEGATIVE MAN

“Hey what was it like being buried in a pyramid with a cat?“ - CLIFF BITCH I’M DEAD

CLIFF is such a fuckin’ savage my dudes. 

So now we're doing a little back story on NEGATIVE MAN

“He was prepared for everything!“ - NARRATOR

IG TF NOT

I already feel some type of way about RITA.

DAMN, TELL HIM HOW YOU REALLY FEEL CLIFF!

Dropping all those f-bombs and then he sees his daughter that’s some wild shit. 

RITA just a foul AND bitter bitch that’s all

I’m not saying she got what she deserved but she should’ve been a lot nicer that’s for sure. 

“What are you starring at?!?!“ - RITA

LMFAO SHE HANDED HER THAT MIRROR REAL QUICK!

Well would you look at that he’s walking

He better not fall back that’s all I know

GOD DAMN HE DIDN’T HAVE TO FUCK HIM UP LIKE THAT GOLLY!!

Please watch the fucking road...

SEE I KNEW SOME SHIT LIKE THAT WAS GONNA FUCKIN’ HAPPEN

That is really fucked up though for him to lose his family like that. 

LOL THIS NARRATOR FOUL AF

Jane’s not here you sissy headed little bitch!!” - HAMMERHEAD

“Fuck off and die RITA“ - HAMMERHEAD

This bitch really is crazy...

DAAAMMMNN she grabbed his crotch like there was something really there to grab DECEASED!!

THE HANGMAN’S DAUGHTER was pretty much me in HIGH SCOOL jESUS CHIrsT

“Bring a condom.“ - JANE??

Pimp my Ride: Jane Edition

Larry lowkey a lil bitch

THIS BITCH RITA really is one boujee motherfucla

“I was busy... fucking the nanny!“ - CLIFF

I’M DEAD she said NO real quixk rofl

Her is gettin’ all kinds of fucked up now

WOAH MY DUDE!

As an iPhone user, I must say that this scene really triggered me. 

LARRY + MONSTER = BEAUTIFUL MONSTER

“WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANTS ME TO JERK A KNOT IN YOUR ASS?” - HAMMERHEAD

WHat a legend

OMFG SHE”S EVERY FUCKIN” WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“FUCKING BITCH GET A GRIP OVER YOURSELF!” - HAMMERHEAD

Why is the bus driver so worried about getting out of the door when she could’ve easily gone to the back door??

LOL SHOUTOUT TO THE DUDE ON THE BUS SMILING!

“I wanna go home.“ - RITA

WHere tf did that donkey go?

“We could but we’d be doomed.“ - CHIEF

“What are we now?“ - CLIFF

DOOM PATROL BITCH! THAT’s WHO YOU ARE!

WTF!!!

DAMN, WHAT TF HAVE THEY BEEN FEEDIN’ THAT DONKEY!?!?!

BITCH I AM CONFUSED!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!” - CLIFF

You know it took me a minute to get back into it but I think I’m going to like the show. I found it to be amusing for the most part even though I don’t know the back story to the characters that well. But only time will tell. But in the end, we must all remember that EVERYONE’S A CRITIC WHEN THEIR OPINION MATTERS THE LEAST…

[roman-reigns-princess]

The Pack Survives (Roman Reigns): Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Writing Masterlist

Warnings: Assault scene for like the first bit? Mentions of blood, & choking (not the fun kind). More werewolf stuff?

Word Count: 2152

A/N: Wow an update on my sugar daddy fic last week, and now an update on this fic this week? it really is thanksgiving lmfao

Tag List: @savmontreal @vivalavonvon @hardykat @racingandreigns @inkedirishbbydoll-blog-blog@fivefootxo @lovetusk @captainrogersbucky @imamoxbrose24 @kamdog0014 @empress-with-the-crown @sabrina-rowling @littledeadrottinghood @vanity1385 @wweburnitdown @maahsrandom@glowrioustrash @roman-reigns-empire-1996 @imhiskryptoniterr @searchanddestroy @leteverythingexist @vebner37 @livingoffsavvyillusions @innocent-reid @isawthesights @nethbellins @calwitch

She tossed and turned for a bit, trying not to think too much about today’s events, from the weird wolf experience, to whatever it was she felt for Leati. She finally had to stop moving because Enyo took it upon herself to curl up on her stomach. Andromeda slowly drifted off into a restless, nightmare riddled sleep.

She'd locked herself in the bathroom, her hands shaking uncontrollably as she tried to use the hand towel to wipe up the blood, and hopefully stop the bleeding from the knife wound in her side. She prayed that he hadn't hit anything important.

She sat on the edge of the tub as she tried to slow down her breathing. She was sure a couple of her ribs were broken as each breath sent shocks of pain through her side so intense that it felt like she'd pass out any minute.

A loud crash sounded outside the door, making her jump. She'd managed to slam his head against a table before escaping to the bathroom. In retrospect she should've tried getting out of the apartment, but she'd panicked, and went through the closest door.

So she had called 911 minutes ago from the confines of their, no, his bathroom. The operator had told her that the police were on their way and would be here in about 10 minutes. She wasn't sure if she could survive that long.

She stifled a scream as something slammed into the door, making it shudder as the hinges groaned in protest. She scanned the area, trying to find something to protect herself with.

"Come on, Andy, let me in. I just wanna talk," his voice boomed from the other side of the door.

She ignored him as her eyes landed on the mirror; not giving herself time to reconsider she wrapped the blood soaked towel around her right hand and punched the mirror. Shards went flying in every direction. A faint stinging in her arm was the only indicator that a couple of small ones had embedded themselves there while most of the mirror ended up in the sink.

Towel still wrapped around her hand, she reached for the largest shard with the sharpest end. A second bang against the door had her flinching and pressing herself against the wall next to the door, preparing to spring at him when he finally got through.

He threw himself against the door a third time, and it finally gave way. She wasted no time, her survival instincts taking over as she launched herself at him, all pain momentarily subdued by adrenaline. She sank the mirror shard into his right shoulder before her other fist connected with the side of his skull, shoving him away from her, and leaving the shard buried in his shoulder.

He screamed, she wasn't sure if it was pain or anger or frustration, but she wasn't waiting to find out, she had to strike while he was distracted. She snarled and jumped onto his exposed back, sinking her teeth into his uninjured shoulder. That was a bad move because it allowed him to throw her back into the wall.

Her head connected with the wall behind her, momentarily stunning her as she let go of him, sliding to the ground. She could taste blood in her mouth, whether it was his or her own, she wasn't sure. But she didn't have time to think about it as she felt his hands wrap around her neck and squeeze.

Andromeda jerked awake, gasping as her entire body shivered because of the nightmare. She slowly sat up trying to remind her body that she was safe, she'd gotten out, and no one was trying to kill her anymore. She was grateful for the bright moonlight streaming in through the windows, illuminating the room. Slowly shifting the cat off her lap, careful not to wake her up, she stood up and stretched.

She made her way over to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. She stood there for a moment, hands resting on the sink as she glared at her reflection. Her memory infused nightmares were making a come back, and it showed in the dark circles under her eyes. The last thing she needed was for her insomnia to return just as she moved to a new place; granted she could probably afford not to work again thanks to her inheritance, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good to be cooped up in the house.

Grabbing the hand towel next to the sink, she dried off her face and hands before walking back out to the room. A low whine sounded, making her pause and look around the room, confused; she was pretty sure Enyo couldn't have made that noise. Her head snapped to the window as she heard it again, this time coming loud and clear from her back yard.

She shook her head in disbelief as she walked over to the window, and sure enough the wolf was standing right below her window.

"What the fuck is this Disney princess bullshit," she mumbled to herself, the wolf let out another loud whine. "Okay, okay I'm coming down, Jesus."

She grabbed Leati's jacket off the bed as she walked out of the room, convincing herself that she wanted it only for warmth and not because she liked his scent. On her way down, she grabbed a drink of water before making her way to the back yard.

She found the wolf pacing at the tree line; his ears pricked up as he heard her coming down the stairs and he bound over to her, looking like a massive wall of black fur and fangs. He stopped a few feet away, realizing that he'd startled her as she stumbled back a little.

He dropped to the ground and rolled onto his back like an over grown puppy; she may not know much about wolves, but she knew enough to understand that he was trying to appear as nonthreatening as a gigantic wolf could be. She settled down on the grass next to him.

She swore under her breath when he stood back up and circled her twice, sniffing at her hair and the jacket before laying down behind her so that her back was pressed against his flank. He curled around her, resting his head in her lap, and gave the jacket one last sniff.

"You like his scent too, huh?" She said, absentmindedly running her fingers through his fur as her thoughts traveled back to the big, handsome Samoan she'd met earlier. She raised an eyebrow when the wolf's body rumbled against her back, sounding almost like a content purr. He shut his eyes as she continued to trail her fingers through his soft fur; his weird growling purrs slowly lulling her to sleep as well.

-------------------------------------

And that was how she woke up later that day, curled up in the middle of her back yard using a giant wolf as a pillow while he'd basically wrapped himself around her completely. She was surprised that she'd actually managed to fall back asleep, let alone not have any nightmares.

She slowly sat up, stretching lazily as her eyes adjusted to the later morning sun before she remembered that the moving company was supposed to come by to set up the rest of her stuff.

She bolted up to her feet with a curse; the wolf, seemingly unperturbed, cracked an eye open to stare up at her then let out a loud huff and rolled over onto his other side as if he was saying ten more minutes.

She groaned as she stared down at him, wondering how she'd ever get him to leave before the movers came by; she couldn't have them getting freaked out by a huge black wolf soaking up the sun in her back yard. A loud knock on her front door brought her out of her thoughts. Unfortunately, it also woke the wolf up and he was on his feet in the blink of an eye, growling at the house.

"Oh shit, no, you have to go, cmon, it's just the movers dropping off my shit," she pleaded, trying to push him away. He stopped growling, and looked at her as if to say really you think you're going to push me anywhere. "Come on, please, I can't have you chewing them to bits, I don't wanna move the stuff in by myself."

As if he understood her, he turned around, licking her cheek, and took off into the woods. She sighed in relief and rushed into the house; she had to get cleaned up before she let them in. She made quick work of pulling on some sweats, and brushing her teeth. When she decided that she was presentable enough she finally made her way to the door to greet the movers.

"Hi, so sorry about that, I, uh, had a late night," she explain to the man at the door.

"It's all good, Miss," he replied, waving his men over; she stood aside to let them start moving her things in. "You got a dog or something?"

"A, a dog? No, why'd you ask?" She replied with a nervous laugh.

"Thought I heard some growling just now, don't want my men gettin bit or anythin, yknow?" He said with a skeptical look on his face.

"Oh, that, um, I fell asleep watching a documentary on wolves," she lied, he stared at her for a bit before shrugging his shoulders. --------------------------------- Roman's POV:

Roman had initially shot over to Andromeda's because he got flashes of images through their bond of her being attacked. Even thought that turned out to be a nightmare of hers he stayed on, not wanting to leave her alone; he also made a note to find out more about her nightmares in his human form.

He hadn't planned on falling asleep, it'd just happened; her fingers running through his fur had had more of an effect than he'd anticipated. He was lucky he hadn't accidentally shifted back into his human form while he slept, that would've been a horrifying surprise for Andromeda.

Although he would never admit it, he'd been rather startled and disoriented when he woke up in her back yard; if he'd been more aware, he wouldn't have left her alone to deal with strangers.

As he approached the spot where he'd left his clothes, he cursed himself for giving up so easily, he shouldn't have left his mate unprotected with a bunch of strangers at her doorstep. He shifted and pulled on his pants, not bothering with his shirt as he walked back to the pack mansion.

He nodded at Naomi as he passed her and the wolves she was training. His hands eyes narrowed when he saw Jimmy standing at the front door, arms crossed, with a big smirk on his face. He pushed past his cousin and headed to the kitchen to find Jey making breakfast, a similar smirk stretching across his face when he saw Roman. He was about to say something when Roman cut him off.

"Shut the fuck up, I don't wanna hear it," Roman grunted, narrowing his eyes as the twins stood together with their arms folded. "I was in my wolf form, she didn't know it was me, nothing happened between us; just get me some food before I turn the both o' y'all into minced meat."

"Hey we didn't say shit," replied Jimmy, taking a seat opposite Roman as Jey turned back to his cooking with a snort, mumbling to himself.

Roman chose to ignore his cousins, pulling out his phone to text Andromeda. He wasn't happy about the fact that he'd had to give her his human name, Leati, rather than his wolf name, but he knew better than to just spring their world on her.

Roman: Good morning, what you up to today?

Meda: Morning, just moving the last of my stuff in.

Roman: Need any help?

Meda: Nah, got some movers to help. I'd be down to do something today tho.

Roman: How bout dinner this evening?

Meda: Sounds good ^.^

Roman: I'll pick you up around 6

Meda: See you then!

-------------

Andromeda's POV:

Andromeda bit her lip as she set her phone down on the kitchen counter top, unable to help the smile stretching across her face. The moving guys were nearly done so she'd have some time to kill before meeting Leati.

She dug around through the boxes on the kitchen floor till she found her cups; she poured out four glasses of water just as the movers finished moving in her last piece of furniture. She set the glasses out for them as they came by the kitchen.

"Thank you, ma'am," said the shortest as they downed their drinks. "You'll receive an invoice in a day or two, you can mail the check back to the address on it."

"Sounds good, Mr. Wyatt," she said, shaking their hands; she had to suppress a shiver that ran down her spine as the dull ache returned to her shoulder. "Thank you guys."

She walked them to the door and shut it behind her, locking it; the dull ache slowly faded.