#she was so mad when I adopted her and put her on a diet but she was far too chunk had to eat actual food not just treats

[rachelbethhines]

60 Years of Doctor Who Anniversary Marathon - C. Baker 1st Review

The Two Doctors - TV Story

I was so disappointed when this was the story that the randomizer chose.

Unlike most fans, I genuinely enjoy Colin Baker's time as the Doctor on tv. I would have gladly watched any other story, yes even The Twin Dilemma or The Mysterious Planet. Heck, I personally think Timelash is loads of fun.

But this....

Not only is The Two Doctors my least favorite C. Baker episode, it is perhaps my most disliked episode of the classic era. And quite possibly in the bottom ten stories out of the show's history.

However, fair is fair. This is what the randomizer picked and I haven't given the story an honest shot since my first viewing of it.

So is it as bad as I remember?

Yes.

It really is that bad.

Granted there are moments in the story that are entertaining, but these are few and far between and don't do enough to save the serial.

The first and foremost problem is that the story suddenly turns the Doctor into a racist!

These are Androgums. They're an enslaved race, born into servitude because they are deemed to be "less intelligent" then more "civilized" races.

The main villain has been experimented on by a mad scientist, used as a sentient lab rat, and has gained genius intellect and knowledge through her forced upon mutations.

She uses her brains to manipulate people, framing the time lords for crimes they, lets be honest, would have committed themselves anyways, and kidnaps the doctor to force him to teach her time travel so that she may free her people and conquer those that had enslaved her.

You would have thought that the Doctor would be at least sympathetic to her motives, if not her methods, but no!

The Doctor constantly repeats through out the story that Androgums are inherently evil. That it's "in their nature" to destroy everything. That they can never become better people no matter what, and constantly dismisses their plight.

Worse, the story goes on to prove this outlook as correct when the Doctor is forced to become an Androgum himself through genetic experimentation and briefly becomes "evil."

Like why the fuck would you write that into your story!?

Did you not stop to think at all that this might not be the best way to write your hero, nor the most appropriate message to put forth in your narrative?

Then again, this is the written by the same man who wrote The Talons of Weng-Chiang because he unironically loved Fu Manchu movies.

I don't place Robert Homes on any kind of pedestal unlike the rest of fandom and bullshit like this story is why.

Oh but there's more offenses to find here.

See, Homes is not only racist, he's also that smug fake leftist that pretends he's better than you because he doesn't eat meat.

His preachy, holier than thou, anti-meat arguments have popped up a couple of times on the show, but here is where it's at it's most overbearing and obnoxious.

See, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to adopt a vegetarian/vegan diet... from religious beliefs, to health and safety concerns in commercial processing, to personal dietary needs... but Homes never makes this argument.

No Homes believes that people who eat meat are no better then murdering cannibals!

Man what I wouldn't pay to see Robert Holmes in a debate with the current writers of the Poison Ivy comics.

But to add injury to insult, Holmes then decides that the Doctor and Peri must become vegans like him at the end of the story.... You know the two characters who are not his creations and have no previously established reasons to adopt his personal belief systems.

Peri has since been retconed into having always been a vegetarian in the expanded universe, and that works okay as there's nothing in previous episodes to contradict it. It also nicely ties into her being revealed as a botanist in the next story.

But the Doctor not only has never held this practice before, the story makes a point to establish that he does enjoy eating meat and has him fishing for fun at the beginning.

So this is essentially the writer forcing his personal beliefs on to the main hero of a long established running series that he himself has only been a part of for a brief amount of time.

Trying to morph a character that isn't yours into just another version of yourself, ignoring anything that came before to do so, is bad writing. Plain and simple.

It's not only disrespectful to the character and their creator, it's also just flat out boring.

If you can't write anyone but yourself and can't present anyone else's view other than your own, then why the fuck are you even writing to begin with?

This a personal pet peeve of mine in professional media, writing characters that aren't yours out of character cause of ego, and I truly think it's a waste of everyone's time.

What else...

Oh the pacing is poor, the direction is flat, and I truly despise the scene where Oscar dies with the passion of a thousand suns!!!

It is the most tone deaf, poorly directed, poorly acted, poorly written scene in the entire story with perhaps the stupidest dialogue in the entirety of the classic era.

I hate it!

At least we can only go up from here.

[taldigi]

Out of curiosity, and if you don’t mind me asking, what’s everyone’s favorite food and drinks in ladybug classic and the fashion club au?

ohh thats a big one, and one I havent put too much thought into.Its a little hard to like, parse "what french kids actually eat" from "what journalists want to sell you on what the french eat because french is fancy" from my research.

Marinette is a busy girl who likes quick snacks instead of full meals. Eating is a chore that gets in the way of her STUFF TO DO. I think she'd be fond of easy-to-grab easy-to-eat stuff like bread rolls, croissants, stuffed pastries (a side effect of being raised in a bakery) but in general is the kind of kid to just.. grab a bowl of rice (her mom has a rice cooker always packed with fresh rice on all the time) and/or throw whatever is leftovers on top (anything, ANYTHING.) Drinks on the other hand, she seems the type to be super into sparkling waters (strawberry) but also really likes boba teas, because the drink has an interactive element (chewy tapioca!) and it's sweet.

Felix is an odd one, he's raised on this.. plain, minimalist diet that's pretty high in protien because his dad expects him to excel in sports (boxing) so it's a lot of like.. chicken, and greens (no salt, no dressing or fluff) so he gets a little weird when given like.. spices, or flavor- in the "where have you BEEN all my life" sort of way. I really like to imagine he settles into curry as a food he likes- since it's pretty versatile, has lots of variants from savory to spicy, and it's easy to make. His drink of choice? Frilly, seasonal coffee drinks. I'm talking the raspberry-dark chocolate valentines, the pumpkin spices, the peppermints- his vice, his bribe. He gets reward money from placing well in some of his boxing tournaments (the few times his father gifts him anything) and that usually goes directly toward these drinks.

Flora kinda eats everything, even when one might not consider it edible: but she's pretty into fast food, because her family usually makes her eat really fancy foods in fancy ways (I always eat the food wrong, and mother gets mad at me.) Most times she'll just order out, with a preference for thicker deli-style sandwiches and pizza (excuse to invite friends over!) HOWEVER her drink of choice is tea! tea tea tea. She knows everything about all teas ever. She has every tea, foreign and domestic. Iced teas, hot teas, blended teas- she grows some of her own teas. She has special tea instruments, imported tea cake/preh boxes decorate her walls, several custom-made tea sets, and enough matcha to kill a man.

I dont know enough about Malagasy Cuisine to make claims for Alina, but she likes a few dishes from there- because her parents passed it down to her and Theo.. even though both were born and raised in France. Shes super chill though and tends to go with the flow on what others eat or what is offered to her, leaning towards spiced (read, not spiCY, spicED) foods rather than fatty or sweet. (i actually see her being really into like.. mexican [i'm explicitly thinking of those chamoy/chili powdered candies] or indian dishes). Almost as if she values the smell over the taste (saying this as if the two senses aren't intricately related LOL) as for drinks? I think she's someone who prefers bitter, like straight tea... maybe wine too? Iced coffee as a treat, but with only a splash of cream.

Alix is a mystery, but they seem to subsist off caffine and energy drinks. Food? Unknown. Kagami is a lot like Felix where her diet is very strict. But she probably likes fast food when nobody is looking. She adopts a craving for energy drinks from Alix.

[gossamer-and-grace]

My Method Behind This Madness

A general note: I don’t count calories, or weigh myself. I’ve done both before and they never led anywhere good, and certainly not to lasting success. I need a floor to my ED or else I will fall—and have fallen—through entirely. I believe in high restriction. My best results have come from this, and from eating not according to numbers but appearance, how I look in the mirror. Dysmorphia and self-loathing are real, but I don’t suffer from them, so what I see and how I feel about it guide my diet. I eat only when hungry and stop not when I’m full, but when I don’t “feel anything”—neither hunger nor satiety. Just stability. Sometimes this hunger expresses itself through the symptoms of low blood sugar, which for me is fatigue, irritability, and pessimism.

1. I do count calories as perfectly exchangeable: calories consumed plus calories forgone can equal zero.

2. I can dismiss the calories in liquids either as necessities (they keep me full and prevent eating solid foods) or temporary (I can “pee” them out. Delusional, I know). Calories to me seem more substantial and consequential when they occur in solid foods. Therefore, I’m unafraid and unaffected by things like juice in water, oat milk in my tea, milk on its own, even a protein shake. The single sweet potato I provide for myself also comes from experience: not pooping regularly generally indicates a bad state of affairs, and it means accumulated weight. Fiber is important.

3. Veggies are my ultimate safe food, so long as they’re not starchy. No calorie within them counts; I only “count” their nutrients and their necessity, and under this guise of health-consciousness I am able to allow myself the nourishment I need to live in a skinny body. Protein is less a comfort but I cope with it as a necessity, and allow it as such. When I’m eating solid foods, I will shift to eliminating superfluous calories: no more juices. No carbs in this case, but this will be hard to stick to, and I imagine I won’t; that’s okay, I cope by saying I accompany my nutrients with carbs to give them sticking power in my stomach. Another necessity, in my eyes, and therefore a forgivable one.

4. This speaks to a personal and career goal of mine; if you wish to adopt any parts of my model, here you may insert any activity you want to do regularly or passionately, but may not be able to for whatever reason. Compassion for yourself is important when you’re already starving your cells.

5. I will put the fat I accumulated to good use. Here I think of a big brown bear lumbering off to her hole in the ground to sleep for 6 months and emerge lithe, sturdy though weakened, beautiful and fresh the next spring. I think also of a fat caterpillar gorging itself on leaves (which are starch, to me) and then retreating into a self-enforced period of isolation, starvation, perfection—the walls of a paper prison that she constructed around herself from which she will burst. Lithe. Sturdy though weakened. Beautiful and fresh. That will be me.

Finally, the last sentence is a snippet of a longer quote that triggers me. Again, if you wish to adopt any parts of my model, here you may insert any memory (memories work the best) that stir a strong feeling and renew your resolve for your goals.

����🐛🦋

[imwritesometimes]

The little cat in Stray reminds me of my grandparents' cat that they left in my care after they passed

She had the prominent little lower lip and she was so small and dainty but mischievous 💖🥰

[delightfully-deranged-dagur]

Okay, I'm just gonna write out my main ideas for my Reimagined Monster High. Here we go.

-it takes place in a world where monsters are outnumbered and shunned by humans, so monsters are forced to basically live in secret. Away from humans, in their own secret communities.

-The school itself was founded by Nora Bloodgood. Monster High was the first school of its kind to accept all kinds of monsters and has been running for hundreds of years. Also, it's a boarding school.

-The story will be mostly character driven with the main players being,

-Toralei Stripe. A werecat.

An orphan adopted by Headmistress Bloodgood. Toralei made friends with twin sisters Meowlody and Purrsephone Moon. Unfortunately, the 3 of them became the biggest bullies in the school. Though the twins were much more worse then Toralei. The twins were send to juvy after "the freezer incident".

"The freezer incident", Without Toralei's knowledge, the twins played their most dangerous prank of all. They locked Deuce Gorgon, a cold blooded monster into the school freezer, resulting in him almost freezing to death.

After that, Toralei took a long, hard look in the mirror and decided to change. Trying to redeem herself. So far most students are still untrusting of her. But 2 of them have forgiven her and became her friends, those 2 being...

-Clawdeen Wolf and Draculaura. A werewolf and vampire couple.

Clawdeen is a fashion designer with quite a following. Monsters love her designs and she's gotten quite a lot of commissions.

She always speaks her mind and has an extreme dislike for lies and liars. She's also fiercely loyal and protective of her friends and family, especially her younger siblings, Clawd and Howleen.

Draculaura is vegetarian vampire, no meat or blood for her. Unfortunately, due to her diet she's also extremely vulnerable to direct sunlight and always carries a parasol or umbrella with her.

Draculaura is one of, if not the most kind person in the school. And yet, there's some hints she's got a dark past. She's 1599 years old, so of course she has some secrets she doesn't want anyone to know about.

-Frankie Stein. One of the 3 new students at the beginning of the story.

Frankie is only a month old and still doesn't quite understand how the world works. She only knows stuff from outdated teen girl magazines. So, yeah. She knows nothing.

Frankie is assigned as Toralei's new roommate. Which means Toralei is half the time busy with making sure Frankie doesn't piss off the entire student body with her antics. Luckily she's helped by Clawdeen and Draculaura.

The 3 of them become Frankie's guides to life. With varying degrees of success.

-Gil Webber. The 2nd of 3 new students at school.

Gil was raised by highly abusive and bigoted parents. Constantly talking about how dangerous and despicable other monsters are. They sheltered Gil never letting him outside or go to the surface. Gil grew up terrified of the world.

Eventually, word got out about Gil's situation and the authorities got involved. Gil's parents were arrested and Gil was taken to Monster High and put in the care of Nora Bloodgood.

Gil is assigned as the new roommate of...

-Deuce Gorgon. Half gorgon, half human.

Deuce has lived for thousands of years since ancient Greece. Son of medusa and inherited her stone gaze. If he looks someone in the eye, they turn to stone. Luckily, since Deuce is half human the gaze is only temporary. And it doesn't work on monsters made out of stone or the undead. Like ghosts, zombies and mummies.

Deuce is a nervous wreck. Freezer trauma notwithstanding, he's constantly worried about dropping his sunglasses and turning someone to stone. He's also insecure about his skills as a chef and artist. He tries to look cool and laid back but he's not fooling anyone.

The snakes on his head are named, Jefferson, Addison, Carson, Maddison and Ed. He treats them as younger siblings even though they're all the same age.

Deuce has some trouble helping Gil not being afraid of everything. So he finds help from other water monsters. Sirena Von Boo? Too ditzy. Finnegan Wake? Comes on too strong. So his only choice is...

-Lagoona Blue. Half Sea monster, Half Water nymph.

Lagoona is bubbly, kind, carefree and very much a Himbo. She's genderfluid so they go by any pronouns he feels like at the moment.

They have 2 passions. Sports. And helping people out. And Gil is just the person that desperately needs Lagoona's help.

-Cleo De Nile. A mummy.

A princess who disowned her family because of how horrible they were. Cleo's lived long enough to know that being bad doesn't get you anywhere.

She's kind, understanding, and extremely generous. She's a natural born leader who takes charge when needed.

-Billy Where. An invisible man.

Billy, or "Invisi-Billy" as some call him is a theater kid at heart. Aside from that Billy also loves discovering the unknown and mysterious.

While his father is invisible all the time, Billy can control his visibility at will. He can even make other objects or people he's touching invisible.

Billy was assigned a new dorm room by Headmistress Bloodgood. A room down in the catacombs. He was put there cuz Bloodgood believes he can help the student living down there with his problems. That student being...

-Johnny Spirit. An unchained ghost.

Johnny died during the late 50s and he's got the greaser look down pat.

Johnny refuses to leave the catacombs and interact with other students, he does not wanna get involved or get attached to anyone. So he does not like having a roommate forced upon him.

And yet, as time goes on Johnny starts caring for Billy and thinking of him as a friend. Eventually trusting him enough to tell him the reason why he shut himself off. The story of how he died.

But that's a story for another time. ;P

Other important characters include,

Abbey Bominable. 3rd new student. She's blunt and likes photography. She has no roommate but gets taken in by,

Clawd Wolf and Heath Burns. Boyfriends that guide Abbey through the school and drag her into their shenanigans and schemes.

Ghoulia Yelps. Cleo's best friend and assistant. Genius.

Jackson Jekyll and Holt Hyde. Mad scientist and laid back DJ sharing a body.

Neightan Rot. Gay zombicorn. Can go from dishevelled hobo to fabulous drag queen in 10 seconds.

Spectra Vondergeist. Ghost "reporter" that runs the ghostly gossip.

And many more students.

So that's my basic idea. What do you think?

Feel free to leave questions about other students and their roles and what kind of plans I have for this au.

[beau-draws-and-cries]

A lying witch, a warden and a grumpy teen

Synopsis: Hunter is abandoned at a playground, his babysitter simply disappeared. Alone, Eda finds him, and takes him in, unaware that he's Emperor Belos' nephew and he grows into being Hunter Clawthorne, or the Owl teen. Link to AO3 will be posted on the notes. Tags: mentioned raeda, hunter clawthone au, angst, the owl house au

_____________________________________________________________

"And the two, and the monster ate them whole! That was all that was left of the!...... Patrol!" The little kid was sitting on the bench of the playground, alone, with small legs kicking the air, too small to reach the ground yet. It was past 8am, and he was cold and hungry, but their babysitter told them to wait there. It was been some time, though. She was gone since…. Hunter couldn't tell. Kikimora had called his babysitter and she didn't come back, he knew that she would get in trouble for getting him into the playground, his uncle didn't like it when he was out of the castle reach, for safety. His new wound for the last time he disobeyed was still new, itching and hurting at the same time, on the right side of his face. He shivered when a cold breeze passed by, shrinking to try to keep himself warm, and trying to control his own fear. The streets were devoid of people, most people that were passing by were ignoring him, and some even looked at Hunter like he could be a tasty snack.

He waited a bit more, stomach growling more. This, with the cold, made him sleepy, and slowly he fell asleep there. 

"Hey, kiddo. Wake up." Someone called him, gently "Can you hear me?"

"Huh?" He asked, trying to open his eyes. He slowly sat on the bench and rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"You're alone there, small one?" It was a soft voice. The witch was tall, her hair orange, cut short and with a grey streak "Where are your parents?" 

"I…. My babysitter said I should wait here." He yawned again.

"Oh. It's kinda late now. Do you have a name, an address where I can take you?"  Eda was afraid that he was abandoned there. Well, it wasn't impossible. Some parents were heartless enough to just let young witchlings to die if they didn't feel like taking care of them, and that seemed like an abandoned kid.

"My name is Hunter. I…." He considered telling "Emperor Belos" but remembered the scar he made just because he was out of the castle, playing in the mud "I don't know any name." He lied, looking at her. Lying was second nature already. 

"Oh, ok then, young Hunter. Huh, it might be best for you to follow me. It's not safe for kids after it gets dark. Unless you have your magic, then I could let you wander around. But you're too young, it's best for me to take you home, ok? Then tomorrow we can see if someone is looking out for you." 

"Ok" that's all he said, getting out of the bench."

"Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat before getting home." She said, reaching for his hand and waiting for him to grab her hand. He did so, careful. He nodded slowly, looking to the playground and around once again. "Don't worry, tomorrow someone will be looking for you, and you will return safe and sound to your family, ok?" Eda reassured, smiling at him. 

Eda walked somewhere with food, and got something quick for him to eat, and walked to her home. She needed her potions, but that could wait. The kid was yawning and rubbing his eyes, so she carried him to home, when they got there, putting him on the couch and a blanket over him:

"Is that a kid? You're going to eat it?" Hooty said, getting close to her and Hunter.

"What? No! Shut up, Hooty!"

"Oh, so you're adopting him!"

"No! I can't… take a kid in, you know that. I will return this small one to his parents tomorrow."

That was true, she couldn't take care of a kid. 

Being a mom was something that Eda wished for when she was younger. Eda and Raine had talked countless times about THEIR family. THEIR kids. THEIR house. Now it was past. Destroyed by that stupid curse she had. It had been years since the break up, and she still wasn't over it, she would never be over it. The curse took away many things from her. Her future, her dad, her mom, her sister, Raine and the dream of having a family. She couldn't let anyone be near her, she was too afraid of hurting them. She needed to return that kid, because she couldn't risk hurting him too. 

"Tomorrow this kid will be with their real family"

That was what she thought. 

In the morning, she made breakfast for the kid. Hunter was a picky eater, and she didn't mind doing what the kid asked for, since it would be his last day there, and the last day of having someone else in the house. Hunter had a bit of a talk with Hooty, and they went to check the wanted posters. 

Nothing.

Hunter spent another day in the owl house.

They went to check again for posters.

Nothing. Hunter spent another day in the owl house. They bought a better pillow for him. 

They came back home, and on the other day, they went to the wanted posters. Nothing. Everyday, check the wanted posters, nothing. They bought a new blanket for Hunter.

It had been two weeks now. The couch was already Hunter's bed, and the fridge was full of his favorite foods, since apparently he couldn't digest a lot, and most common foods would make him sick (Eda had a hard day on the toilet with him vomiting almost his guts out after eating a earthworm plate that was common for most witches) and Hunter was sad about no one coming for him. She decided two things, she needed to keep the curse in check, to keep him safe, and she would keep this kid. She simply couldn't throw him out after no one came for him. He was a weirdo, much like her, apparently.

One month had passed. Hunter was complaining about his back hurting, and she bought him a bed and put on the extra room she had. She bought him new clothes, and tried to find what more he could eat, to diversify his diet at least a bit. Things were changing in the owl house. Eda couldn't lie she liked having someone there, the nights didn’t feel so alone, and the days were more easygoing. 

She started selling human trash, and apparently a kid made her look more needy of money, and that was certainly nice. The kid also had fun pickpocketing random passersby, and getting in trouble. 

When King joined, the house didn’t seem more the house of a 35-year-old single lady, but as a family house, even though Eda wouldn’t admit it so soon. Both Hunter and the demon seemed to bond, especially over making Eda mad, and teasing her, and she would pretend to get mad, but she really couldn’t do that. Eda would say to others that Hunter and King were her roommates, Hunter helping her to collect human trash, sell potions and to get rid of emperor guards, and even without magic, they’re good on hand-to-hand combat, and very good on potion making, using it in self-defense, to sell them,but mostly for pranks. 

The addition of the human in the house was a surprise, though.

[feralaot]

random scouts hcs!

I did a post like this for the warriors my beloved (here) and people seemed to like it so here's one for the scouts :) had some input from @afrival for this one luv u

no warnings I think

eren

if he had twitter he would have a vaporwave bart simpson profile picture and tweet lil peep lyrics. also uses way too many hashtags

he's scared of snakes and hates armin's ball python

his eyes are probably crusty as hell and mikasa has to wipe em for him because he won't

when he's losing an argument he goes "ooh you wanna kiss me so bad" and it always escalates things but he doesn't stop

almost exclusively wears american eagle

"what's a pronoun".mp3

uses the 💯 emoji in every other text message he sends

armin

sends his friends pictures of cats cuddling/hanging out and says "me n you <3"

genuinely can't stand when people have dirt under their fingernails. he gets so mad at eren bc his nails are dirty asf and armin forces him to clean them

he calls himself sexy a lot (e.g. "that was really sexy of me")

chews on bottle caps then is like hmm why do my teeth hurt

he hates feet. toes look weird to him. nobody in his house is allowed to take their socks off

unironically uses faces like ^-^ and :3

acne :(

mikasa

she's really bad at giving advice. don't go to her for help she'll literally be like "that's tough"

probably has like 4 instagram accounts made just to follow eren

solid black profile picture and no bio

maybe now and then she'll put a my chemical romance quote on her story but that's about it, she doesn't respond to dms or anything

doesn't wash that damn scarf so it's probably stinky

sticks staples, pins, etc through the tips of her fingers for no reason other than she likes freaking people out

probably hisses at people

jean

the only possible relationship dynamic somebody can have with him is rivals to lovers

very short social fuse and has to stay home for several days after public events bc it's just exhausting

he's an introvert adopted by extroverts (connie and sasha) and has to deal with their shenanigans. truly the mom figure between the three of them

marco has to listen to him ranting about connie and sasha's foolery and doesn't have much advice to offer bc he doesn't know either

for a long time he only knew "straight" and "gay" and when he found out about the concept of bisexuality his mind almost imploded

he sighs and yawns a lot and doesn't even realize he does it. people always think he's either annoyed or tired

probably dresses like a diet e-boy. crewneck king

connie

the kind of kid in your high school gym class that wears mismatching neon clothes. bonus points if it's nike

also the most likely to start a food fight for funsies

he doesn't yell often because his voice cracks when he does and it's embarrassing

sasha and him hate cafeteria food so he always brings an ungodly amount of food in his backpack instead to share with sasha. connie's backpack is 90% food

unironically says things like "pogchamp" and "rad"

he works at zumiez and probably lives there. always rocking their latest drip

jumps up and slaps exit signs

sasha

randomly breaks into song (usually disney songs) and connie will automatically duet

manages to fall asleep in any situation. on buses, while watching movies, sometimes even mid conversation if she's zoned out enough

tried to take armin fishing one time but he almost cried because he felt so bad about it

at least reiner will fish with her though. the himbos always come through

her instagram is all pictures of fish she caught and now and then there's an awkward candid pic of niccolo

stayed overnight in a walmart one time and got away and brags about it but she won't admit it was an accident. panicked and spent the night eating snacks off the shelves to "survive"

while she's talking her voice slowly gets louder and louder and she doesn't realize it until people tell her to stop yelling

historia

pulls people by the ears to bring them down to her level

also kicks people in the shins a lot, if she's arguing with someone they'll usually keep their distance to avoid getting shin kicked

loves climbing on ymir's back and just being carried around like the little creature she is

posts inspirational quotes on her story

would definitely be a cheerleader in high school. nobody would guess a prep like her is dating some grunge girl w a pretty much opposite personality

she always has bandaids with her for some reason. if someone gets scraped she'll whip out a bandaid immediately. her friends call her "mom" sometimes

hates grilled cheese so god damn much. can't stand it

ymir

"damn I don't remember asking".mp3

is always the first one to comment on historia's instagram posts. her comments range from "beautiful my queen!!!" to "damn ma yo ass fat"

she always called reiner gay as a joke then he came out as gay and for a while she thought it was her fault

her and reiner have wlw and mlm solidarity, they're bffs for that matter

if someone tells her that her music is too loud she'll say "huh?" and turn it up

similarly if someone scolds her for something she'll go "hm? repeat that, I'm a little deaf in this ear"

"bro stfu you always tell me you're gonna fire me for being late"

levi

really really hates cooking pasta because straining the water is for some reason more difficult than it should be

"do not underestimate me, bitches"

always refuses to get his hair cut at places in shopping centers. especially walmart great clips

makes monkey noises when he sees something he likes. he started doing this as a joke to mock zeke but it evolved and now he can't stop doing it randomly

will not hesitate to knock someone on their ass if they're talking shit

coffee makes him jittery so he drinks tea instead but won't admit to anyone that he lowkey also has a redbull addiction

hange calls him a catboy but he doesn't know what that means so he's always like "yeah" bc he thinks it means he's a cat person

hange

buys levi shoes from the kids section and doesnt tell him bc he likes them anyway

such a millennial, they say shit like "doggo" and "adulting"

"for practical reasons I don't exist. do not perceive me"

probably wants to marry mothman

levi has had to scold them on several different occasions for bringing live animals into the house

legally isn't allowed to cook bc they can and they will blow something up

goes on tipsy rants almost nightly

erwin

white skechers king

hosts barbecues in those white skechers. he talks shit about people with nile and pyxis like a bunch of gossiping middle aged fath- wait

his profile pictures on social media are probably pictures of himself taken from awkward angles with an empty expression. it's always posted like six times as well

when levi is getting Out Of Hand he'll pick him up from under the arms and carry him away like "okay, that's enough" and levi kicks around but can't escape

rubs his hands together a lot like a fly. nobody knows why he does it. what are you scheming

falls asleep on couches while watching sports games

[swinging his keys around his finger] "let's rock and roll"

[justthehiddleswrites]

Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 3 | And Miss Out on Mum Meeting the Girl You Married Without Telling Her? Not a Chance

A/N:  Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed).  It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will.  Keep your hate to yourself.  

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)

Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt.  Tom has an idea to solve all their problems.  Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts.  Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else.  In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?

This Chapter: Molly finally gets to meet Luke and they try to convince him that this marriage is not some elaborate plot to manipulate the press.  And Tom makes a critical error.  We learn more about Molly and her past. 

Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of:  child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.

TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!  THANK YOU FOR READING!

–

Tom regretted drinking two cups of espresso the next morning before heading to Luke’s. He definitely regretted not eating anything more than a piece of toast with butter and marmalade. Even after Molly offered to make something for him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to make you eggs, an omelette? I could probably manage some French toast before we have to leave.” Molly sipped her tea as she ate some oatmeal. 

French toast sounded divine at the moment as Tom’s stomach did somersaults. Molly’s knee bounced in the passenger seat on the way to the Prosper office. 

“Do you think Luke will yell at me?” Molly asked. “I don’t do well when people yell at me.”

Tom’s head snapped over at her. She sighed. 

“Foster parents are not always kind. Bio parents can be worse.” She wrung her hands. 

He reached over and squeezed Molly’s knee. “I promise I won’t let him yell at you.” 

“Thank you, Tom. Are we telling him the truth?” 

“Only if necessary.” 

“Then what are we telling him?” 

“That I went to Vegas, and I fell madly in love with you and on a whim we got married.”

“A fanciful tale.” Her head dropped to her chest. 

“Oh, I don’t know, darling. You sell yourself short. You’re bright, funny, caring and dare I even say easy on the eyes.”

Molly blushed. “Thank you. You are not so bad yourself. Although I seriously question your dietary habits.”

Tom chuckled. “I’ll work on it. And I hope after all of this we will be good friends.”

“Me too.” 

“Looks like we are here.” Tom parked the car on the street. He hustled around to open Molly’s door and help her out. “Time to face the firing squad.” Her eyes widened. “Kidding!”

By the time the meeting was done, Molly wished it had been a firing squad. 

-

“Luke, this is Molly Bishop, now Hiddleston.” Tom wrapped his arm around her waist. “My wife.” 

“My condolences.” Luke shook Molly’s hand. 

Molly’s brow furrowed. “I…” 

“Of all the stupid shit you have ever fucking done—” Luke started in on Tom. 

“Luke, watch your tone.” Tom jabbed a finger in his publicist’s face. “You are not to yell at Molly.” His bright blue eyes flashed and his fists clenched. 

Luke took a step back. “Right. Take a seat and let’s see if we can straighten this out.” 

They sat next to each other. Molly reached for Tom’s hand and he took it. Luke sat down behind his desk, staring at the two of them. Luke pinched his nose hard and took several deep breaths. Before speaking, he poured a glass of water and dropped two Alka-Seltzer into the water. Molly stared at the whole thing. Tom leaned over. 

“For later. Luke says I give him indigestion.” he whispered.

“And headaches.” Luke added.

“I can understand the feeling.” Molly muttered under her breath.

“I beg your pardon!” Tom twisted around to face Molly. “Et tu. Is this about the vegetables?”

“It wouldn’t kill you to eat one every so often. You’re not 21 anymore.”

Tom gritted his teeth. “I said I would work on it. Can we not talk about this right now?”

“You’re the one who brought it up. I was just making a comment.”

Luke’s head bounced back and forth like watching a tennis match, a smirk growing on his face.

“You two are good. Really good. Damn Tom, the lengths you will go to… hiring an actress to pretend to be your wife, that’s—”

“We got married, Luke. In Vegas.” Tom retorted. “Darling, do you have the copy of the license?”

Molly grumbled. “I do, but we are not done with the whole diet thing.” She rummaged through her purse and produced the folded piece of paper. “Show him the photos.” She whispered to Tom as she handed over the license. 

“I’m not showing him the photos unless I have to.” Tom hissed.

“Show me the photos, Tom.” Luke beckoned him. 

Tom side eyed Molly and handed over the license and his phone. Luke glanced at the license and then scrolled through the photos, eyes growing wider. He zoomed in on one and squinted. 

“Is that a spider ring?” he asked.

“His name is Clive.” Tom deadpanned.

Luke cuts his eyes at Tom. “Of course, you named it. You wouldn’t happen to have the ring, would you?” He turned to Molly.

She let loose a breath, exasperated. “Honestly,” she jabbed a finger at Tom and then Luke. “I was not expecting the Spanish Inquisition.” She dug through her purse again. “You are both lucky that I planned ahead.” Molly slammed the two Tiffany boxes on the desk. “There, here is your pound of flesh.”

Luke opened the boxes and found the spider ring and plastic gem ring. His eyes went to their proper rings and then ran his hands through his hair. 

“Holy shit, you got married.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “I have been saying that for the last 24 hours, mate. Can we move on?”

Molly giggled. 

“I… I… apologize. Sorry.” He sputtered, he turned to Molly. “I’m sorry, Molly. You have no idea the things this man has put me through.”

“I can imagine.”

“Hey! I—”

“Not talking to you, Tom.” Luke held up a hand. “I am talking to your bride. Clearly the reasonable one. Although she did marry you, so…”

Tom slumped in the chair. “Two of you. I thought you were on my side.”

Molly reached over and rubbed his arm. “I’m always on your side, honey.”

Tom smiled and leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, darling. Do you believe me now, Luke?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes, I do.” He slammed his hand on his desk, rattling his water. “Now let’s talk about these.” He held up several newspapers.

Forty-five minutes later, they finally ended the meeting. Tom was starving. Luke grilled Molly about her background. By the end of everything, Tom now knew that Molly spent the ages of 12-18 in foster care, went to college where she worked two jobs to make ends meet, and has no contact with her younger brother who was adopted. Tom felt a twinge of guilt listening to Molly tell her life story. He never really bothered to ask. 

Luke led them to the door but stopped short. 

“How did your mom take the news, Tom?” Luke asked. Tom froze and paled. Luke leaned in. “You did tell her?”

Molly glanced between them. “I thought you called her when we got home.”

Tom ran his hands through his hair. Little bits stuck up. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened. “I forgot. I was distracted by someone yelling at me.”

“You haven’t told your mother about us?!” Molly screeched. 

Luke chuckled, which soon turned into a full belly laugh. “You are so dead, Tom.” Molly gasped. “You will be fine, Molly, but pray for your husband. There is nothing scarier in this world than Diana Hiddleston mad at her only son.” 

Molly gulped. “I will keep that in mind. Now if you excuse us, we have some calls to make.” 

Tom nodded, still reeling from the fact he didn’t tell his mum, or his sisters, that he got married. Fake or not. He hoped she hadn’t seen any of the photos yet. But knowing Emma and Sarah, they sent her the links. “Right, calls.” 

Molly pushed Tom out of the office and towards the elevator. She waved bye to Luke as the doors closed. 

“That went better than expected.” Molly shifted her weight from side to side.

“Yeah, yeah!” Tom blinked and came back to reality. “You were brilliant. What made you think to bring the rings?”

“People have the tendency to believe you when you can present physical evidence. That, coupled with the photos, lends credibility. I mean, who gets married with a plastic spider ring?” She laughed and Tom joined in. 

“Genius, really. Luke would have never—” Tom’s stomach rumbled. He blushed. “You were right I should have eaten something.” 

Molly stretched to reach his cheek and gave him a quick peck. “You will soon learn I am always right. Let’s find you some food and then you call your mother.”

“Fine.”

-

They found a place for Tom to grab a sandwich since it was too late for breakfast and not quite time for lunch. Molly stared on as Tom inhaled the sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of water. 

“Did you taste any of that?”

Tom glanced up at her as he poked the last bit of the sandwich into his mouth. “Yes.” 

She shoved a napkin towards him. “You have crumbs on your face.”

Tom swallowed. “Thanks.”

“Call your mother.” 

Tom slouched. “Can’t we wait until we get home?” 

“No.” She stared him down. “If you don’t do it, I will.” Molly lunged for his phone, but Tom was too fast and grabbed it first.

“I’m calling her right now.” He held the phone to his ear, praying it would go to voicemail.

“Tom!” Diana’s warm voice filled his ear. “How are you doing, love?”

“Doing good. A bit of jet lag, I was in Vegas over the weekend.”

Diana hummed. “And how is Luke?”

Tom chuckled. “Angry at me as always.”

“If you would just listen to him…”

“I like her.” Molly popped in.

Tom waved her off. 

“I know, Mother. Listen,” He fidgeted with his hair again. Molly realized it was an absolute tell when Tom was nervous. “I was wondering if you might like to grab some lunch this week. We can catch up. So much as happened since I last saw you.”

“I would be delighted, Thomas. Why don’t you come up to the house? Does Wednesday work for you?”

Tom mouthed “Wednesday” to Molly, who shrugged her shoulders.

“Like I’m doing anything? You and Luke are the only people I know here.”

“Right.” He returned to the call. “Wednesday is perfect, mum. Noon?”

“It’s a date. Don’t forget to bring that wife of yours, Thomas. I am quite keen on meeting her.”

All the blood drained from Tom’s face. “I… I… can explain—”

“I’m sure you can. On Wednesday. I have to go, love. It was good to chat.” The line went dead.

Tom stared at the phone. “I’m so dead. She knows about you.”

“Oh, she knows. You are her son. And didn’t you mention having sisters? They totally ratted you out.” Molly smiled at him.

-

Tom had some appointments on Tuesday which kept his mind occupied from seeing his mother the next day. Molly took some time to figure out how to change her name, get a new passport, and figure out how to maneuver life in a foreign country. Tom took her to get a phone that would work. 

“Here you go.” 

The first thing she did was snap Tom to add to his contact list. He was laughing in the photo.

“Don’t use that one!” Tom pouted. “Let me pose.”

“But I like this one. It captures your essence.”

But now it is Wednesday morning. Tom woke up early to go for a run. Molly was already up, sipping tea in the living room.

“Can I join you?” she asked upon seeing Tom in workout gear.

“I run about three miles…”

“Sounds perfect. Give me two minutes.” She bounded off the couch towards her bedroom. 

Tom fiddled with his headphones until Molly emerged in sneakers and workout leggings. Over the ear headphones around her neck. 

“Ready to go.” She tucked her phone into a pocket. “I will just follow you.”

“Let me know if you need to turn around.” Tom winked as they set off.

They returned home about thirty minutes later.

“Sure you don’t want to go another mile?” Molly bounced on her feet. 

Tom breathed hard. “Maybe another time. I’m a bit out of shape. You run?”

Molly nodded. “Most days I run. If I get up in time. I miss the gym.”

Tom chuckled. “We need to get you a membership. And I need to ..get into shape myself. Can’t let my wife show me up in paparazzi photos.” he half-joked. 

Molly coughed. “They take photos of you running?!”

“Sometimes.” He took a sip of water, his heart rate going back to normal. “Definitely now with you in the picture.”

Molly raised an eyebrow, stepping towards him, grabbing the water bottle from him. “Think they are out there right now?” 

Tom glanced around and sure enough, he spied a few cameras with zoom lenses down the street.

“Yup.” 

Molly wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe we should give them a more scandalous photo.” 

Tom leaned down. “What did you have in mind?” he smirked as Molly tugged his head towards her and her lips crashed against his. She sighed and Tom slipped his tongue into her mouth. Molly did the same. As he fisted the back of her shirt, Tom noticed one of Molly’s arms moving. 

“AH!!” He screamed as the cold water poured down on his head and Molly jumped back laughing.

“I thought you needed a little cooling off.” she laughed.

Tom lunged for her with a smile on his face, droplets of water falling from his hair. 

“You’ll pay for that!” Tom gave chase, while Molly dashed into the house, screaming and laughing.

She made it as far as the living room before Tom’s long legs caught up with her.

“Got you!” 

Tom grabbed her by the waist to pull her towards him, but their feet slipped and they ended up on the couch. Tom on top of her. Their eyes locked for a moment before Tom scrambled to his feet. 

“I’ll get you all wet.” he commented nervously. “I should…”

“Right.” Molly nodded, sitting up. “I’ll make some breakfast. Eggs and toast. I don’t know what your mother is planning on for lunch.”

“A light breakfast would be best.” Tom shook out his now soaked t-shirt and Molly caught a glimpse of his abs. 

“No problem.” She smiled. 

They both headed off in different directions. When it was time to leave for Diana’s house, Molly fidgeted with her casual dress and knee-high boots.

“Do I look okay?” she glanced at Tom in jeans and a sweater. “I’m overdressed. Look at you, casually gorgeous. I’m going to change. I have nothing to wear. Nothing to wear…” Molly’s face broke down.

Tom wrapped his arms around her. “What’s going on, darling?” She buried her head in his sweater. “You didn’t freak out like this when we went to go see Luke.”

“That was business. This is your mother. I don’t do well with families, particularly mothers. What if she hates me?” 

He kissed the top of her head. “First off, you look beautiful. Second, if my mum hates anyone between the two of us, it will be me. She is going to love you, darling.” 

Molly sniffled and dabbed her eyes with the back of her fingers. “Really?”

“I am 100% certain. Now let’s get on the road.”

Molly smiled and nodded. The fear wasn’t gone, but she felt better knowing Tom would be there with her. That fear came rushing back as they stood on the front step of the house of Diana Hiddleston. Tom reached for Molly first. 

“I’ve got you, darling.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek right as the door opened.

“Gross, Tom. And at Mum’s house no less.” Emma gagged.

Tom’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “Emma! I didn’t expect you to be here.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “What a surprise.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “And miss out on Mum meeting the girl you married without telling her, not a chance.” Emma turned to Molly. “Emma.”

“Molly B… Hiddleston.” She smiled and extended her hand. Emma shook it with a firm grip.

“The papers didn’t give a name. She seems nice, Tom. Clearly she doesn’t know the real you.”

Tom continued to blush. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Em. Can we come in or are we eating on the front step?”

Emma held the door open wide and stepped aside. They stepped inside. “Mum’s in the kitchen.”

As if on cue, Diana’s voice rang out. “Is that them, Emma?” 

“They just got here!” she yelled before turning back to them. “She’s been cooking all day.” 

Molly gulped. Tom squeezed her hand. An older woman with grey white shoulder length hair. She came up to Tom's shoulder, if that.

“You were supposed to tell me when they got here.” she scolded Emma.

“I was on my way to tell you.” 

“Go take the food out of the oven.”

“But…” Emma protested.

“Go, child. You’ll have the entire meal to listen to me yell. Right now I need a word with your brother.”

Emma pursed her lips as she walked into the kitchen but made a slashing throat gesture, mouthing the words “you’re so dead” at Tom before disappearing. 

Diana wiped her hands on her apron. “Now where is my new daughter-in-law?” 

Molly raised her hand. “That would be me. Molly, ma’am.”

Diana held open her arms and wrapped them around Molly tight. She realized where Tom got his hugging skills. 

“You are just a doll. Is my son treating you well?”

Molly nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“So polite and much shorter than the last one. Right at eye height for me.”

“Mother…”

Diana waved Tom off. “And please call me Diana or Mum or Mom. I promise I don’t bite.”

Molly giggled. “Yes, ma.. Diana.”

Diana hugged her again before spinning to face her son.

“Tom.” She crossed her arms.

“Mum.” Tom grew very interested in the rug on the floor. 

“Do I get a hug?” Diana smiled. 

Tom looked up and grinned. “Always.” The two of them hugged tight, Tom bending at the knees to wrap his arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Diana pulled back.

Her hand reached out and smacked Tom right upside the head. Tom cowered, covering his head.

“Mum!” he howled.

“You got married and didn’t tell me!”

“I was getting around to it. Luke distracted me!” Tom explained. 

Diana smacked his arm. “Do not blame Luke for this, he is a saint! You were keeping this lovely girl away from me.”

Molly beamed as Diana smacked Tom one more time. 

“You think I’m lovely?” she asked.

Diana turned to Molly. “Oh dear. You are perfectly charming. Unlike my wretch of a son.” Another smack to the chest.

“Really, Mum? In front of our guest?” Tom flinched.

“Molly is family.” Diana stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Now with that sorted, let’s go eat.” She spun on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. 

Tom hooked his arm with Molly’s. “My mother.”

“I like her.” 

-

Emma and Diane pumped the two of them for every detail about this abbreviated courtship.

“A chapel in Vegas, Tom? Romantic.” Emma sneered.

“I thought so.” Molly added.

“Thank you, darling.” Tom leaned against her. 

“Awww.” Emma commented.

Diana stood to clear the dishes as Emma examined Molly’s ring.

“Let me help you.” Tom rose to help, taking the rest of the dishes. Diana grabbed his arm when they reached the sink.

“I really like her, Thomas. You did well.”

“Thank you. She is something.” Tom smiled.

“Much better than the last girl you brought home.”

Tom frowned. “Mum, I…”

Diana held up her hand. “I know. Don’t mention her. But I will say this. There was something about her that didn’t sit right with me.” 

“You never said anything to me.”

Diana smiled softly and cupped Tom’s cheek. “You seemed so in love and happy. And all I have ever wanted for all my kids is to be happy.”

“Oh.”

“But none of that matters. You have Molly now and the two of you have years of happiness ahead.” 

Tom glanced over to where Emma and Molly hunched over Emma’s phone. Tom’s heart twinged with guilt. 

“Right. Of course.” He smiled.

Molly burst out in laughter.

“What is so funny over there?” Tom called out, heading over to the table.

Emma giggled. “Just some old pictures.”

Tom’s face fell. “No, you didn’t…”

Molly giggled. “You were so skinny and that hair!” 

The two girls fell into a fit of giggles as Diane placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder.

“Yes, I like her very much.” she whispered. “Why don’t we pull out the old picture albums?”

Tom groaned. 

[junicai]

Relationship with WAYV

➣ KUN ☾ karia

if it wasn’t for dotae potentially coming to kill him, he would steal aria into wayv

he’s the cool dad? 

they can’t spend a lot of time together because none of their schedules match up, but aria takes every third or so weekend out to come have dinner in the wayv dorms

she’s surprisingly close to the china line, and its a combination of ten dragging her to his dorm for an entire month and them just kinda adopting her when they realized she was a foreigner as well 

yuta can fight them, she’s one of them now

he doesn’t like to baby her a lot, and she really appreciates the break from being the “maknae” so to speak 

however does that stop him from giving her the forehead kithes? no

aria sad? forehead kith

aria mad? forehead kith

aria smad? forehead kith + kuddles (kun cuddles)

he has sent her a passive agressive text when he found out that she wasn’t eating enough again and had almost passed out

but he finished it with a heart so its ok

if she isn’t smiling at all times, someone will die

aria feels like she can trust him with a lot; that no matter what she tells him, he’ll never out her or make fun of her

kun actually took a two-week online course to learn how to make traditional japanese dishes when aria mentioned missing her parents

he originally was going to learn how to make irish dishes, but he changed his mind after seeing what they were

“im not giving my kids boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes what kind of post world war-”

wants to give her a chinese name but hasn’t yet because he hasn’t found the one that fits her right and he wants it to be perfect 

aria teaches him japanese phrases in exchange for him teaching her a little bit of mandarin

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria saw kun’s back as she entered the practice room, the man standing with three other members in the centre of the floor before the choreographer came in to start their practice. coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist, peeking her head around from where she was. “hi!” she smiled brightly.

“hi,” ten chuckled, showing her the camera that had just filmed all of that. 

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped(TM)

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby 

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right...(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas 

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket 

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost 

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby 

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor 

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing 

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby 

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her. 

➣ WINWIN ☾ winria

a love hate relationship at its finest

they don’t actually hate each other it’s just really funny to pretend that they do (especially because yuta complains that 2 of his favourite people aren’t getting along)

winwin is so savage towards aria but it’s ok she claps back twice as hard

at first, before czennies had seen enough of their dynamic they thought that they actually did hate each other

but that’s not true they just don’t know how to express, affection, without brutally insulting the other with a loving tone

they are, surprisingly, the most stable pairing in 127 - they have a dynamic and rarely stray from that, which is a good comfort for the fans

despite what they might say to each other, they don’t mean any of it - and winwin has been seen several times raising his eyebrows with a questioning look at aria to make sure she wasn’t taking any of his playful jabs to heart

oh god the flexibility

the entirety of nct is terrified of them

the day sm gives them a circus act is the day that kun and taeyong have a heart attack

quietly supportive of each other - catch aria “playing” with a water bottle and not getting up to get it when it conveniently rolls across the floor and into winwin’s leg

he makes sure to save some new chinese sweets whenever the wayv members get packages from their familes, and sneak it into aria’s room before the managers can catch her breaking her diet

not really physically affectionate with each other, which played into czennies idea that they didn’t like each other but aria cleared it up in a vlive

“winwinnie and I, well. we don’t hug a lot because i know he doesn’t like it as much as i might, so i try to show him i care with other things :)”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

winwin and aria going in to each other on knowing brothers, to the point where the mc’s had their eyes popping out of their head and waved about to stop the segment before aria could start attacking winwin’s cooking methods-

nothing is off limits when it comes to them

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties 

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up 

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball 

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll 

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart 

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day 

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria” 

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her 

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him 

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together 

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ XIAOJUN ☾ arijun

honestly these two aren’t super close, just because their schedules never matched up until the NCT 2020 promotions

even when aria was dragged to the wayv dorms, xiaojun kept his distance from her because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable 

even so, when they were filming Make A Wish together, they seemed comfortable enough around each other

there was a mutual agreement to not try fill the silence with awkward small talk, so they sat in silence when left alone together

they’re both shy :( someone needs to get them to talk to each other :(

even so, aria was all supportive smiles and thumbs-up when she saw him getting nervous before their first public stage as the unit 

he was a little intimidated of her at first, but also really curious about how she was holding her own against the other members

not only physically, but her vibes are tiny let the man be concerned ok

his first impression of aria was just: small quiet? she was sitting apart from the other boys in the practice room, and he almost wanted to go over and ask her if she was ok; before she was approached by donghyuck and her face broke into a bright smile 

aria’s first impression of xiaojun was: eyebrows he was really handsome? at first, she thought he was in the wrong room, seeing as the SM modeling auditions were happening in the next room down

any arijun shippers are starved of content im so sorry guys 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

currently still up for debate between the fandom :(

➣ HENDERY ☾ aridery

ah these two 

you might as well sign a waiver if you decide to do anything with them, because they can and will get you killed 

kun can testify

ten’s the enabler but hendery is the do-er

super giggly around each other, for no reason at all

hendery could pick up and throw a basketball and suddenly aria’s on the floor in literal stitches 

have a secret code 

no seriously

they don’t text in words, they just send various reaction memes and a colourful variety of emojis to convey emotions and scenarios 

it’s become quite a beautiful language actually 

got some nice proverbs in there

they’re like, cousins but the ones you only see at family reunions but get so hype to see them

that energy 

asides from the chaotic, murderous vibes they possess as a duo

hendery knows what it’s like to miss home, to miss your parents, etc etc

and so he tries to make aria feel as home as possible - especially with wayv, because they’re all foreigners who know how she feels 

whenever he gets packages from his parents who have sent things over, he always makes sure to keep some of the small treats/sweets back for aria

1. because he knows she’ll appreciate the thought and she gives good hugs

2. because he knows she’s on a diet constantly and never allowed eat these things when she’s in the dorms with managers around 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

filming the Resonance “Wish” event, aria was put in a skimpy minimalistic mock-suit to differentiate from the others’ clothes. unfortunately, that left aria with a little too much shoulder and chest on display than she would like, and she was noticeably uncomfortable with her clothes, constantly pulling it up and even going so far as to just hold it with her hands. 

hendery saw this, and knew he was finished filming his segment for the time being, so he pulled off his own jacket and tossed it over to aria, who caught it with a grateful smile. “thank you,” she mouthed to him, tugging the dark blue material over her shoulders.

➣ YANGYANG ☾ ariyang

aria. has 9 days of age on this boy and will never let him forget it

“respect your elders you brat” “9. DAYS.”

european pals 

they feel so cultured when they get asked about europe, and then are kindly reminded by hendery that A. Germany started 2 world wars, and B. Ireland was just a British colony until 100 years ago. 

they both hit him for that

aria teaching him curse words in irish and yangyang teaching her curse words in german? more likely than you’d think 

they met before yangyang’s debut was announced, in a practice room that had let them accidentally overlap their practice times 

instead of working it out between them, they actually just started to alternate their songs - and the other gave them some good, constructive criticism 

most of the time

when they found out they were going to be in 90s Love together, they were so happy 

it was going to be their first official schedule together

all the behind-the-scenes videos are just aria and yangyang being children and then ten coming over and cooing at them 

they love ten, but they will trash talk the man behind his back 

yangyang confessed to her that he sometimes feels nervous when speaking korean, like he’s going to make a big mistake

so she tries her best to teach and correct him where she can, and make him as comfortable as possible 

if you look at any of the 90s Love promotions - aria is always beside yangyang

he bit her ear once

she doesn’t know why and he won’t tell her

but now when she makes fun of him, he threatens to do it again 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

aria skating onto the rink during filming, and yangyang following her because she promised to teach him how to skate backwards.

“ok just, think like you’re leading with your heels. press your knees in, and push outwards, with you-no no that’s forwards. go backwards yangyang.”

“no no no thats a WALL YANGYANG STOP-” 

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Fertility Struggles II

Gif credit @angels-reyes

Part 2 to Fertility struggles. Hope you all enjoy.

Taglist @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @leaalfred. @creepers-baby-girl. @writerwithasoul. @twistnet. @baylishh. @believinghurts. @ilovetaquitosmmmm. @mayans-mc.

Month after month since starting IVF, you've gotten your period. It was starting to make you mad. You were actually getting tired of using periods at the end of a sentence. They were everywhere. One month you did get your hopes up because you missed your period but wham that bitch hit you at the end of the month. She wasnt going to let your dreams come true.

It was the first day of your period and Nestor came home happy thinking this might have worked. You've been moody and eating a lot. But you were scared to tell him.

"You got your period"? He asked when he saw you on the couch, with your sweats, a box of tissues and icecream with a blanket wrapped around you.

"Yeah. That bitch can't give us a break. I'm sorry". You said with a sniffle.

"It's okay. We can try again". He came over to the couch and sat down pulling your legs to his lap.

"I dont know if I want too". You replied, playing with your icecream in the tub.

"What do you mean"? Nestor moved in his seat to look at you. He was confused. This has always been the number one thing you have ever wanted.

"IVF seems to not be working. I'm getting my period every month. It's like I'm taking this drug for the fun of it. I'm putting us through hell and getting nothing". You wiped away tears with your sleeve.

"Its not for nothing. We're going to make a baby. You can't give up". He rested his hand on your stomach.

"I havent. Maybe we should look into adoption or a surrogate"?

"So you're wanting me to take my sperm and put it in someone else that is not my wife"? Nestor looked confused and like you wanted him to walk into this trap.

"Maybe. There wont be any contact with your junk and her junk. Itll be through a doctor. So calm down. You're not sleeping with anyone but me". You laughed as he sighed a sigh of relief.

"Alright. Why dont you go to the doctor and make sure that they can't do anything before we jump to those options".

"I'm tired Nestor. I'm tired. I dont want anymore doctors".

"Just go for me. We cant give up".

"Alright. Fine. For you but if they say they cant. I'm done. My body has been through enough. I cant". You shake your head. Tears rolling down your cheeks. Your heart has been broken so many times and you couldnt go through that again. Your heart couldn't bare it.

"What brings you in today"? Your doctor asked, she probably already knows the answer.

"IVF isn't working. I've tried everything you said. I keep getting my period every month. I'm just, it's like it's no hope for me". You explain.

"How long does the periods last"?

"Two maybe three days but it's like spotting. No heavy flow".

"Okay.  I'm going to do a ultrasound and see if we can see anything".

"I'm telling you theres nothing in there". You sigh laying back on the table.

"You never know". She said before stepping out the door.

She came back in with a nurse and the machine. The gel she squirted was cold on your stomach.

"Alright, let's see what we got".

Looking at the screen, you saw nothing. Blank uterus. "Told you".

"Dont be so sure. What is this"? She pointed to the screen and saw two little jellybeans just floating around in your uterus.

You about hopped off the table when she said that. "How is that possible". You asked about in tears.

"Well, when you're on the IVF, occasional spotting happens and some mistake it as their period. But you're pregnant. With twins. It's to early to tell what they are but they seem healthy". She said taking pictures of the jellybeans.

"Oh my God. Nestor is going to freak when I tell him". You gasped as she handed you the ultrasound photo.

"Thank you so much for everything. You have no idea what this means to us". You hugged her crying.

"I think I have a idea. I too had a hard time having children so I know what it feels like to get that news that you're pregnant". She smiled and gave you a prescription for prenatal vitamins.

"Thanks again". You said before leaving her office.

You were so excited to tell Nestor that he was going to be a daddy. But then the nerves kicked in. What happens if this is like last time? What if you lose them or even one? You were going to take every precaution there was. You put yourself on bedrest and a healthier diet. Thinking those could help to keep the babies.

Getting home, Nestor was already there. Walking into the house, he was cooking. Something so good it made your mouth water.

"What are you cooking? I hope you made tons of it"? You moaned when you got to the kitchen, the aroma getting stronger.

"Its my fathers recipe. I knew you would like it. It's great for getting women pregnant. Just look at me". Nestor said with a wink coming over to you and kissed your head. You wrapped your arms around him.

"How was the doctors? Everything okay"? He asked looking down at you.

"Everything's wonderful". You grinned from ear to ear.

"Really? Just last night you didnt want to go.  What changed"?

"Oh just the two little lives growing inside me". You swiftly pulled out the sonogram and put it in his face with a squeal.

"You're joking? What? How? Oh my god". He picked you up, kissing your lips.

"Babies. We had tons of sex and oh my god is right. We finally did it. The doctor said they look healthy".

"Oh baby, I'm so happy and so very thankful". Nestor held you tight. All his dreams were coming true.

"Me too.  But I'm not taking any chances. I'm putting myself on bedrest and we're going to start eating healthier foods. No delicious tub of icecream or chips or tacos". You frowned licking your lips. Now the cravings start.

"Babe, you can have all of that just eat it a little at a time. Foods not going to hurt you. Might make you nauseous or give you heartburn but you have to eat".

"I know. I'm just scared. Because we dont know what caused the miscarriages. Anything can be a trigger. We just have to be careful and watch out for signs".

"We will. Um, can we not tell anyone until we know for sure we're out of the woods"?

"I was thinking the same thing. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up if they will be torn apart. I'm scared to get excited but I am. I cant for these jellybeans to be in our arms. Safe and sound". You squeezed Nestor. He was so happy. But the little voice said something could go wrong. Praying that it didnt.

During your pregnancy, you had one scare but that was it. You made it to 38 weeks then your water broke. Then the real nervousness kicked in. The babies room was prepared and you had everything they needed. You were just nervous about them getting here.

Luckily they came out healthy and strong with tons of hair.

Cruz Valentino Oceteva weighed 7lbs 4oz. He looked just like Nestor and a head of hair. Nestor tried to braid it like his. He succeeded in doing so. Heartburn was the worst.

Maya Jade Oceteva weighed 6lbs 2oz. Se was a lot smaller than her brother but was a strong little girl. You know how they say you carry them for nine months and they come out looking like their father. That's true. She looked like Nestor but with your nose. And a head full of hair that you put little bows in.

God you were so lucky to have Nestor and the babies. Life was complete. Well maybe. Another kid wouldnt hurt. Or three. But for now you were going to enjoy the baby moments and the smell of their little heads. Which you and Nestor took turns sniffing each of the babies heads.

[adelindschade]

In the past couple days, its been really nice to have both places of work be considerate enough to give me the time off. 

I just put my cat down yesterday after she declined severely. The days before that were terrible. I was short tempered and agitated she couldn’t shut up or use the litter box. I did everything from putting a baby gate in the walk in closet or bathing her to get rid of the smell after deep cleaning my carpets. I was so frustrated and annoyed. 

And then the last bath ruined her leg because she slipped. And it didn’t pop back in right. She was 16 and fragile. Already a year into barbiturates because of 3 known seizures. She had to be shaved because she couldn’t clean herself. There was matting everywhere. 

I made it right the last day when I realized she was showing signs of decay. She likely had dementia - ghosting over the waterfowl and yowling despite it being fresh / full - and unable to walk across the apartment to get to the litter box. She was lethargic and quiet. I spent the entire afternoon consoling her with pets and affection. 

Even on the way to the vet, she never made a peep. She settled right next to me and dropped her head in my hand. She didn’t even have the energy to lick me. She must’ve been so weak because she passed within no more than like 10 seconds after the injection. 

I was with her to the very end. I refused to leave for work and risk having her die alone or suffering. That was the best $200 I spent to ensure she passed away peacefully and painlessly. I’m bringing her cremated remains back today or tomorrow. 

It still sucked. For all those times I wished she had given me a reason to euthanize her because of all the messes and lost sleep she caused, to actually do it was heart wrenching. 16 years she spent, the last 10 with us after adoption, and the last 4 with me after my mother move. 

I wasn’t the most patient with her but I didn’t quit on her. I paid for extensive vet bills and expensive meds. I got a carpet cleaner to remedy the messes she made. I made her comfortable with new beds in places she could reach. I bought her expensive food in accordance to her limited diet. Yes, I yelled and picked her up by the scruff because she had a habit of peeing on me when she knew she did something naughty, but I loved her and she always forgave me. I wasn’t mad at her forever. I made it up to her after I calmed down. 

It wasn’t like she’d ever return to her prime years. She was aging and limited mobility. She was already declining but the last 3 days was just excessive. It was hours between accidents instead of days. She refused to eat or drink. Then her leg popped and she didn’t want to move anymore. She shivered and trembled and I knew she was in pain. There was only so much I could do, so I had to make that call, and mom was kind enough to drive us last minute to the 24-hr vet on a Sunday. 

I forgot how hard grief hit me because it never gets easier. I was throwing up after holding back the sobs, screaming into her blanket, passing out from crying too hard, and waking up to unsettling silence. 

And the fact both places of work were understanding and let me stay home to deal with it privately is a small but sweet gesture. I definitely needed it. 

RIP Lyra 2003-2021. You were a stinky, little shit but the sweetest cat. I glad you trusted me all those years, even when I was short with you, and I hope you feel so much better now. 

[kirishwima]

soulmate au 30 for Jumin x mc and yoosung x mc? pretty please?

30. Every so often you will get flashes of what your soulmate is seeing at the time, however your soulmate does not know when it happens. ok listen, i get how cute and/or heartbreaking this can be but like,,,,imagine the funny potential djdjksaljd

JUMIN:

* His first flash came unexpectedly-he was at school, another boring class dragging on and on, the view of Jihyun’s messy mint hair more interesting than whatever historical fact the teacher was rambling on about, when his eyes blinked, and suddenly the scenery changed, odd and unfamiliar, his heart stammering in his chest at the sight

* He was still seated, still a desk in front of him-but gone was the pricey mahogany of his private school’s classroom, instead a different, white-painted desk beneath his hands-his black pencilcase replaced with a white one, a cat-face key-chain dangling from its zipper, fingers-were they his own? No, they were far too different, but they were fumbling with the cat ears, flicking one between their thumb and index finger-

* He heard a voice calling out, an unfamiliar voice, an even more unfamiliar name-but before he could even begin to comprehend what was happening the scenery was gone, replaced with the view of his very furstrated teacher standing over his own, normal desk, Jihyun’s worried gaze turned to him with furrowed brows.

* Without bothering to give anyone an explanation, Jumin simply excused himself, leaving class early. 

* He didn’t speak of it to anyone until it happened again and again-as he caught more and more glimpses of this persons’ life, how he’d see their hands, fumbling with their phone in bed, looking up one thing after another online, or he’d see them in an alleway, see their knees as they bent down to coo at a nearby stray cat.

* The only person he eventually confided in was Jihyun-he told him his genuine concern, how he was afraid he was going mad, how else could he explain it all?

* Jihyun merely shook his head, a small smile on his lips-Jumin couldn’t be sure, but something about that smile didn’t feel right, as if it didn’t belong on his friend’s face. 

* “You’re one of the lucky ones Jumin. That’s your soulmate.”

* Jumin...didn’t know what to do with that information. So he very simply didn’t do anything. What use were these glimpses into a strangers life to him? And what use was it to them, to see glimpses of his own life?

* He became more self conscious, worried everytime he’d be caught doing something wrong, something inapprorpiate-he’d keep his interaction with his father and the random women that came home with him to a minimum, worried his soulmate would see-but why was he worried? Why should he care if they saw or not?

* Yet he carried on this way for years-he’d smile everytime he saw anything cat-related, remembering the flashes of his soulmate’s life, their love for cats; they’d recently adopted a black cat, a curious little thing that spent most of its time on their lap, their hands scratching behind its ears, or perched atop their shoulder like a parrot, as they’d turn their head to face it, the cat happily chirping at them in return.

* That’s the very first thought he had when Rika had presented him Elizabeth the 3d. Had his soulmate seen her? Had they gotten the same rush of excitement he did as she blinked up at him, as she used his lap as a pillow?

* He wondered what it’d be like if their two cats met, a black and white mess in a shared home, tails intertwined as they sat together, hand in hand, watching them-

* Shaking his head, he tried to put that thought out of his mind. After all, he had no plans to meet them. How could he? 

* ...how could he accept he’d been falling in love with someone he’d never even met?

YOOSUNG:

* His first glimpse into their life was....rather embarassing.

* He’d just come home from school, exhausted as exam season was right around the corner, college applications haunting his every waking moment-the only thing he wanted was to hop into the shower come out as a full-time employee of a high-paying firm.

* And he did-almost that, letting the water wash the stress of the day away, happily humming a song as he lathered shampoo into his hair, shutting his eyes to avoid any stray soap reaching them-

* -only to find an unfamiliar scene greet him as soon as he opened them again?! 

* He’d been in his shower, at his home-that much he was sure of so how-how was he outside right now?! How was he sitting in a park, a sandwich in his hands, and-there were people around him?! But he’s naked!

* He tried to cover up his body but his hands just wouldn’t follow, but as he looked closer-those hands were...manicured? Wait, he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have pastel pink coloured nails, unless his sister pranked him again...

* Oh! Oh, this is his soulmate!

* His initial shriek of fear became an excited scream, his eyes trying to soak up everything they could about his soulmate, ignoring his current predicament as he took in the faces of their friends, the colour of their jeans, even the contents of their sandwich, what they liked and disliked, anything and everything about this scene-

* Only to remember his position as soon as the glimpse into their life faded, his own body greeting him once again, the water stinging his eyes as he looked around manically.

* “Wait” he mumbled, eyes wide, “if I saw into their life....and they can see into mine...”

* His poor mom couldn’t ever understand what the context behind her son yelling ‘DID THEY SEE MY D*CK?!” could be as his voice echoed through the entire house.

* Throughout the years he tried to find out as much info as he could about his soulmate-he found out they loved coffee, that they didn’t really like sweet things, since he saw them refusing sugary treats from their friends more than once, unless they were on a diet-which he’d be sure to tell them they didn’t need to unless they absoloutely wanted to! He doesn’t want his soulmate to think they’re not beautiful, he huffed, all the little things that made up their personality, little quirks and habits that made him fall more and more in love.

* He hoped they could see him too, could see things about him they liked-but as he looked around at his bleak life, the only light illuminating his room being the computer screen...he highly doubted it.

* Rika’s death tore him apart, and he knew his soulmate must’ve caught more than a small glimpse of his breakdown, the countless nights he spend crying, how he’d nod off in school because he spent his nights staring at the ceeling, a million thoughts racing through his mind.

* Yet somehow he knew-he knew his soulmate wasn’t the type of person to judge him for it.

* The fated day came when, during his orientation day at university, another flash came to him-a glimpse into his soulmate’s world...

* Only...they were looking at the same view as him? It was the same university, the exact same area-they must be in the orientation tour too!

* And-he saw himself, a blonde bob of hair a few meters ahead of them, could see his own shoulders tense in excitement, how his feet stopped his fast-paced walk-as did theirs, their gaze solely focused on him.

* He turned in a flash, scanning the faces of his fellow colleagues-until he found them. 

* He didn’t have to know what they looked like to know this was his soulmate. The way their eyes widened as they saw him, how their lips turned into a soft smile, their hands coming up to their reddened cheeks-he knew.

* Before his confidence could waver, he walked to them, gait shaky, extending a hand to them.

* “It’s...it’s nice to finally meet you.” he said.

* They looked up to him, their eyes clear, holding so much emotion-Yoosung couldn’t wait to begin to untangle this Ariadne’s tangle in their gaze.

* “I-you too” they stumbled over their words, “It’s funny I-I didn’t expect we’d meet like this-I don’t know you yet I feel like-like I’ve known you for a lifetime.”

* Yoosung laughed, clenching their hand tight as they shook his, remaining quiet-what was there even to say?

* His soulmate had nailed it right on the head.

* “Yeah” he said, “yeah, me too-but I can’t wait to spend another lifetime getting to know you”

listen Yoosung is a sappy romantic and once he becomes bold enough he’ll be the sappiest boo ever no u cant change my mind-

  -send me a headcanon for mystic messenger character(s) reactions!-

-you can find commission info on my bio if you’d like a full-fledged fic!-

[mutantthyla]

Apoca-(A story i never finished nor posted) BATFAM

Peering out the top story of Wayne manor watching the city begin to smoke as the viral outbreak spreads further. It had started just outside Metropolis and spread within twenty four hours. To say Jason was surprised when his body went numb and his older brother and adoptive father to swing in, gather some of his things and carry him out of his safe house. Then brought to the manor and put on lockdown. It was something he'd never even thought could happen. He was seething from his seat on his bed, feeling just starting to return to his body.

"Stupid family, could have just called." he grunted to himself. His arm twitched in rebellion.

“Yeah? Fuck you too.” Jason growled down at his limb with a frown. Everyone was bustling around him, ignoring him. His stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten in a few days. He strained to see what everyone was doing.

He could make out the batcomputer from where he was laid, a list of dead, turned, and alive heroes and villains. Jason saw his own file open. The bold green letters stark against the screen. Turned. He felt tears prick his eyes. He wasn’t bitten, or infected. He knew he wasn’t. He cleared his throat.

“Why was i tranqued?” He called out, the bustling halted, silence deafening.

“Jason?” Someone asked, footsteps, then Stephanie was in his face. Caution, and curiosity in her eyes.

“Yeah, you know it's me. Again, why was I transferred? Also, why does it feel like I got hit by a truck?” He asked, looking at her. Her face paled as she left. Jason sputtered angrily.

“BRUCE!” She called out, her steps fading as she left. There was a hushed conversation far off and then more footsteps.

“Why is everyone ignoring me? I’m right here!” He growled as Bruce breezed passed him. He grabbed a needle and jar of liquid. Jason froze, Adrenalyn pulsing into his veins forcing the previous drugs out. He tossed himself off the table and down the stairs. Grunting at the pain, blood began pouring down his chest and onto the floor. His fingers touched his throat. They were met with gnarled and torn skin. A bite had been taken out of his neck.

He felt his blood run cold, there were quiet footfalls behind him. The tears that had been prickling his eyes began to fall. A sob ripped from his throat. He curled in on himself, pain echoing out of his throat in screams. He felt nothing but a hollow horror. A hand pulled him up, back to the table.

He sat, tears drying on his cheeks, waiting for the prick of a needle to subdue him.

“Kill me.” He breathed. There was a stutter of breath.

“Please, don’t let me turn.” Jason whimpered, pulling his legs back up onto the table.

“I won’t Jason. Turned or not.” Bruce stated and Jason gasped, breath shaky.

“So you’ll condemn me to madness?” He snorted wetly, tears starting anew. Bruce turned with the needle in hand. Jason didn’t look up. Not when Bruce approached. Not when the needle pierced his skin.

He met Bruce's eye just as the drug took effect.

“I will never see you again.” He stated closing his eyes and turning away. Darkness took over, the sickening hunger in his belly grew.

Two years passed. His body began to waste away, skin going pale, cheeks and eyes sunken in. He’d been placed in a container, a heavy glass pod. Kept unconscious, blood being pumped into his veins. The cave slowly became abandoned. The others sent off to the watchtower. Eventually Bruce was all that was left on earth. Watching over Jason’s body. The others had been slowly convincing him to pull the plug, to leave him there, in the cave locked in. Unable to hurt anyone. Not that there was anyone left to hurt.

Today, Bruce stood, the pods lid removed. I.v lines pulled. Jason was left, alone in the cave. Bruce pulled away by his best friend, back to the watchtower where the last of the human race resided. Days passed, then a week. Jason woke, cold. The cave dark, the only light was from the computer. He stumbled forward, knocking over the chair. The light on the camera was on. He was being watched.

His stomach gurgled, he turned, the smell of rotting food calling out. He knew, in the cave there were a few nonperishable foods. He opened the cupboards and there sat a few unopened cans and a bag of jerky. He sighed, grabbing them and a nearby knife. He stabbed the lids a few times and pulled the metal off. His fingers fishing out the soft pear halves. He groaned as he ate, the taste sweet and tangy. The fruity flavor making his mouth water.

It settled heavy in his stomach. He finished the can off and opened the jerky, the meat filling his stomach and easing the hunger fully. He set the bag down, half full and stood. He stumbled back to the computer and hit the spacebar. The screen lit up, the login screen stating him in the face. He typed ‘whether you can or can’t, you’re probably right’ and the screen changed. He opened the link to the league servers with a video request.

He swayed slightly, the screen blacked out. His reflection stared back, the green long faded from his eyes leaving a blue so vivid it seemed to glow, his skin was a milky white, years of seeing no sun, and his cheeks were thin, but had a slight red hue to them. The bite on his shoulder fully healed, now an ivory scar.

The screen pixelated and into view popped Oracle. She looked confused for a moment before grinning. Jason couldn’t help the smile of relief that crossed his face.

“You don’t know how good it is to see your face Barbie.” Jason sighed, sinking to the floor, his legs shaking from years of no use. He looked up at the computer Barbara was talking to someone off screen. There was movement and Roy swam into view, grinning and gleeful.

“Jaybird! It's good to see you! Thought you were maggot food!” Roy cackled, his voice slightly modulated.

“I wouldn’t die so easily. Not without fighting. It’s really good to see you.” Jason said happily. Something else was said off screen and Roy was shoved away, Dick swam into view, eyes watery. A similarly watery smile on his face. Jason managed a softer smile for him.

“We’re coming to get you! We’ll bring you to the medbay, see how you lived! Get you back on your feet!” Dick said, his voice pitched, like he was talking to an animal in pain.

“How long?” Jason asked, tired eyes peered up at the screen.

“Two and a half years now.” Dick said, voice even softer. Jason let out a soft laugh.

“The boom Tube is starting up Jay, we’ll be there soon.” Dick said rushing off screen. There was a loud rumble and a flash of light. Then, he was no longer alone in the dark. Dick was there, petting his hair as a field medic looked him over. 

“His muscles have atrophied, He’ll need to be carried. We’ll need to start a diet of high vitamins and nutrients. Physical therapy.” Roy came over, lightly shoving Dick out of the way. His arms slid beneath Jason lifting him in arms much stronger than he had remembered. He wrapped his arms around Roys neck. His friend lifted him up carrying him toward the teleporter. Jason rested his head on Roy's heart, the rhythm thumping in his head. Jason hummed, there was a brief press against the crown of his head. Jason smiled, Roy had kissed him, an act of comfort on his part. Something that had been common during their time as the Outlaws.

[arabellaflynn]

For anyone who didn't catch it on other social media, I have finally moved out of the "temporary" apartment I was stuck in for 7 months, thanks to a lot of emotional and logistical support from friends, and a generous amount of financial support from the folks who gave to my GoFundMe. I am endlessly grateful to all of you, and if I weren't so goddamn tired right now I'd be more eloquent in saying so.

I've spent the past few weeks of unpacking and working out the bus routes around my new place trying to figure out how to explain what was so terrible about the last one. Most attempts devolved into page upon page of rage, which is not really what I want to be doing here. On the other hand, I also don't want to downplay how bad it was. 

Spoiler: The temp apartment was Very Very Bad.

The tl;dr is that I was offered someone's spare room on the condition that I help out a little extra with household chores and caring for their rats, because the pet owning roommate had recently had back surgery and was still mobility-impaired. What actually happened is that as soon as they realized I had any basic life skills whatsofuckingever, I was cornered into becoming the 24/7 on-call House Adult. I would have gone on strike, but the other two people in the apartment were so terrible at coping with absolutely any aspect of being alive that if I had, one or both of them would probably be dead now.

That is not hyperbole. I sat back at one point and realized that I had talked to 911 dispatch five times in the preceding four months. None of those calls were for me. To be clear, I ain't mad about other people having medical problems. All five of those calls were appropriate and necessary uses of emergency services. I just resent the hell out of being the default option for handling all of it, even though none of the medical emergency problems were mine, and there were other people in the house. Literally, Short Roommate had a catastrophic asthma attack one night, and when she was wheezing too hard to talk she passed the phone to Tall Roommate -- who immediately ran to the other end of the apartment, banged on my door, and handed the phone to me. It got to the point where I just told the operator what was up, went downstairs to unlock the door for EMS, stood in the corner answering the occasional question until they hauled someone off to the hospital, and then went right back to bed, because none of this was my problem. And that's just the 911 calls, not even counting the number of times I had to talk her down out of a dissociative episode, or any of the other shit I was not warned about and did not volunteer to do. They wore me down until my only response to "a fellow human can't breathe" is "fuck's sake, why am I even involved here".

They both needed a lot more, and a lot more professional, help than they could possibly have gotten out of a random civilian roommate. They both fought tooth and nail against actually getting any of it. Every time Short Roommate was dragged to the hospital, her discharge papers included a big fat packet full of social services, resources, and business cards for actual physical people to phone. I know this because whenever I cleaned the apartment, I found them on the fucking floor, whereupon I placed them on her fucking keyboard, and told her point-blank to call these people. As far as I know, she never did.

I am neither qualified nor equipped to be a live-in caregiver for anybody. There is a fucking reason I have never wanted children. I keep critters because if you give them food, water, toys, and boxes to sleep in, you can leave them to entertain themselves for hours while you work or sleep, and no one will arrest you.

There was a bunch of other stuff. Tall Roommate rarely if ever cleaned anything, including herself, unless directly ordered to do so and given a detailed list of instructions of what you meant by "clean". I only ever got her to wash her own damn dishes once, and I did it by messaging her from the other room 'I just found a mouse in the sink eating snacks off your dirty plates GO DO YOUR DISHES'. She had a laundry list of problems, but the relevant one here is that she was high-support-needs autistic with no support and zero inclination to find any. 

[Did I mention the mice? We had mice. All over. The rats murdered two of them when they got into the cages, looking for the free-feed bowl.]

Short Roommate clearly loved her rats but didn't actually do any of the rat care beyond petting and playing. One of them was tremendously sick at one point and needed meds q6h. She was supposed to be helping with that and didn't, which meant that I went several weeks on a maximum of six hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. I tore the fuck into her for that one, pointing out in exactly so many words that some of these meds were painkillers and if the rat didn't get them on time HE SUFFERS. Not doing any of the grunt work, Short Roommate evidently thought rats were so easy she should just keep getting more of them! She rescued two, one of whom was preggo, kept several of the babies, and started talking about waiting for one of the girls to grow up so she could breed him with one of her younger boys. 

Gentle Reader, I promise you the only reason I did not strangle her in her sleep that very night was that I knew, deep in my heart, that I could not move the body down two flights of stairs by myself, and if I left it up to Tall Roommate, the corpse would still be in the apartment today.

If I were inclined to any sympathy, it would have died when Short Roommate moved out to shack up with New Boyfriend and New Boyfriend's Mother. She initially took all the rats with her, which made them officially not my problem anymore, but I woke up one morning to a message that said something like "[New Boyfriend's Mother] says that if I show up to our new place with the rats she's not going to let me in, [Tall Roommate] is coming back with all the rats and everything they own". I found out later that this was because their new place was in section 8 housing, where you are not allowed to have pets that aren't service or support animals. Which Short Roommate had known the entire time, and just... made no plans for. At all. Unless "ignore everything until bitchslapped by reality, then panic and make unreasonable demands of other people" counts, I guess.

Eight rats. She dumped eight rats on me. Eight. I wound up taking care of them all without help; Tall Roommate was incapable of keeping anything in her habitat clean, including herself, and I wasn't willing to let her neglect animals. I was actually down to one rat of my own, having lost my two venerable old men, and was looking for a new friend or two for Tseng. Which I had to stop doing, because nine fucking rats is a lot of rats, and I couldn't in good conscience bring Rats nos. 10 & 11 into this shitshow. Naturally, none of the rats got along; two pairs of boys had to be kept apart, and both of them tried to pick fights with poor Tseng, and four of them were girls that had to be kept away from all of the boys for obvious reasons. It was exhausting and a catastrophe.

Once I had the rats she apparently made no further effort to re-home them, although she did keep telling Tall Roommate to come knock on my door and take pictures of them. (I put a stop to this. Tall Roommate did it because Short Roommate had broken up with her to shack up with New Boyfriend, and Tall Roommate had literally no way to cope with this other than try desperately to get her back.) I bugged her to do something about this until, predictably, I had to contact the local rat rescue people to find fosters less than a week before my moving crew was scheduled. When I told her, she replied "oh, I was just about to submit that". Sure you were. And while you're here, I have this nice bridge to sell you.

[The four girls and two youngest boys went to Mainely Rat Rescue. It looks like the boys have already found a home, but the girls are up for adoption. I kept the two old men, who both have special care needs; Garion has breathing problems that involve his own asthma inhaler and a steady diet of NSAIDs, and Errand has attitude problems that involve picking fights with any rat who isn't Garion. They're both just shy of three(!) and unlikely to find homes through a foster program, plus I'm already their third caretaker, so I couldn't send them off with a stranger. They are currently sulking because I wouldn't supplement their dinner with all of my dinner -- which is to say, they're fine.]

The point is, my brain just about died off. The only time in that apartment that I didn't spend cleaning up after three grown adults, two of whom weren't even me, were the weeks after Short Roommate moved out to shack up with New Boyfriend, which she had broken up with Tall Roommate to do, and Tall Roommate took it so badly she ended up inpatient before she ate a bottle of Tylenol. (I called 911 when I overheard her plans. It was about 50% "a fellow human is in need of help" and 50% "argh jesus fuck THIS IS NOT MY JOB please go talk to someone who is actually paid to deal with this".) I am slowly clawing my way back to the surface, so if you'll just bear with me, I'll be back on Twitch this Sunday 3-7 Eastern, and type out more things that have been on hold while I tried to retain at least some of my marbles.

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[crybatty]

When I first made the Crybatty au, I didn't have a story in mind. I was just listening to Melanie Martinez songs and thought "what if I made an adorabat au based on these songs" and then I did, drawing The first Crybatty picture that same day. Then I started to develop it further to the Au you know today.

However, Those early pictures weren't as story focus as the pictures today so you don't know the full story.

After some thinking, I've decided to explain how each song from the crybaby album fit into the story and I'll do the same for k-12 when I finish all the k-12 pictures.

There will be some retcons and things that seem like they don't fit, but that stuff happens when you add ideas to a story that weren't intended from the beginning.

Adult themes mentioned, so be warned

Here is her story in semi chronological order.

Crybaby

Pretty simple, this is a general song about Crybatty herself: she's overemotional, unpopular, and cries lot. Now here is her full backstory:

Born to rich parents Eugene and Sonara, as a baby she was ignored and raised by her older brother (dun dun dun!) Despite him only being 5 at the time. When adorabat was 4, both Eugene and Sonara were killed by a monster. Since her parents were cruel to everyone, non of her relatives wanted to take Crybatty or her brother in so they were Both sent to the orphanage. Soon, her brother was adopted but not her, so she was left alone there. The Orphan keeper and the other orphans were cruel to her because of how easy it was to make her cry or lash out. She dealt with this torment until she was 13. A new sheriff and his wife moved into pure heart valley and decided to adopt her.

Now she can live a happy life, right?

Dollhouse

It's because of this song that I decided to explain Crybattys backstory and I had to rewrite some stuff to make it fit.

Despite being adopted, she didn't gain rest from conflict. While Mao Mao and Badgerclair weren't mean to her, they argued constantly and their behavior reminded her of not only her birth parents, but also the orphan keeper. Badgerclair drank alot like Sonara, Mao Mao was constantly sleeping with other women like Eugene, and they wore the facade of being a perfect family.

These memories brought up more memories, some about her brother. She remembered how her brother started smoking weed at only 7 to deal with the stress. She also remember how on the day her brother was adopted (by drug dealers), the orphan keeper wanted Crybatty gone, so she tried to force the parents to adopt both her and her brother, but they refused and only took her brother. All she had to remember him by was a small bat doll he gave to her as a baby.

Tag, you're it/Milk and Cookies

These songs go hand and hand both in the album and In the Crybatty story.

Sometime after her brother was adopted and before she was adopted, Crybatty was forced by the Orphan keeper to take a big trash bag to the dumpster across the street at night. While walking back, she was approached by the King of pure heart valley, Snugglmange. He previously saw Crybatty when he visited the Orphanage and when he saw her, he was instantly obsessed. He couldn't rest until she was his. He approached her in the dark and when she ran away in fear, he chased and captured her, taking her away to his castle and locking her in a secret room. The only other person who knew she was there was the Royal alchemist Camille. She was horrified by the kidnapping but because she was in love with the king, she kept her mouth shut.

The king didn't want her to be his wife or even for sexual reasons. He wanted her because just the idea of her being his was like heaven for him. She was his, he owned her. He eventually made her get her now famous tattoos, the tear drop and the triangles above her eyes, as proof of his ownership of her.

Days after he took her, she had enough of his outbursts and found a way to escape. However, she knew he'd find a way to get her back, so she had to take drastic actions. She baked a batch of cookies and put poisonus chemicals in them that she stole from Camile. She gave the cookies to the king and she watch as he died from the poisoning. Then, she left.

When she got back to the orphanage, the orphan keeper didn't seem to care, or even know, that Crybatty was missing for days. However, the Orphan keeper and the other orphans noticed her new tattoos and of course, would tease her about them (although, some did like them). At first, Crybatty hated them as they were a reminder of the king. However, soon she began to see them as victory scars. Even though he did kidnap her and forced these tattoos on her, she did end up killing him and these tattoos were proof. She even began to embrace her the name that all the kids would call her as a insult, Crybatty, because the king called her by her real name Adorabat in a creepy way.

Although still emotional, she decided to not take shit from anyone anymore.

Pity party

Pretty simple song with a simple placement in the story

Crybatty had finally been going to school after being adopted. She decided that she would try to be nice to everyone as a way to make friends. And a week before her birthday she tried to plan a birthday party and she invited everyone she thought she was friends with. However, come the day of the party, no one showed up. Despite her trying to see the bright side, this was Crybattys emotional breaking point. She realized trying to be nice would get her nowhere, so she would close herself off from everyone so no one would hurt her again. However, suddenly there was a knock at the door and when Crybatty answered it, she met a girl named Honey

Honey went to the same school as Crybatty, however she didn't get an invitation to the party because Crybatty didn't notice her. Honey though, noticed that all of the kids that Crybatty gave an invitation too either ripped it up or threw it away behind her back. Honey grabbed one of the crumpled papers and went to the party anyway, the only person to show up. Crybatty was overwhelmed by emotions and hugged honey, instantly wanting to be friends with her. They shared a slice of cake (as Crybatty threw her cake on the ground in anger earlier) and enjoyed the small party together.

Sippy cup

Story about the things Crybatty sees around her.

She sees the constant conflict between Mao Mao and Badgerclair due to Mao Mao constantly sleeping with other women. Mao Mao even cause Penny and Benny to divorce. And even though Badgerclair wants it to stop, she doesn't leave Mao Mao because she feels like only he would ever love her.

She sees how insecure Honey is about her body and appearance. Honey's guardian, who Crybatty would later learn is Camille, was always making honey feel bad about herself and so she became taking unhealthy diets.

Both if these problems Crybatty had no control over, she all she could do was watch.

Mad hatter

Crybatty eats a strong edible and trips out

Carousel

How Crybatty meets someone special.

Crybatty went to a pop-up carnival one day. She went on a few rides, not really enjoying herself. Until she go on the carousel where while waiting for it to start, she sees a cute boy she immediately gets infatuated with. She's had small crushes before, but there was something different about him. He got on the seat in front of her which is a good metaphor because he was so close yet so far. When the ride stopped, he got off and she was unable to catch up to him. She spent hours trying to find him at the carnival, but she couldn't. She gave up and decided to ride the carousel one more time before leaving. However, when she got on one of the horses, she saw that on the horse next to her was the boy. She talked to him and they became quickly attached. She learned his name was Edwin.

~~~~~~~~~

So that was part one, I promise part two won't take like 5 years to write, I hope. Hope you enjoyed reading this long explanation.

[hanbeihood]

A D&D 5e Build: Ron Stoppable

I did one of these sometime last year for Halloween and just wanted to do another, so here it is. First up: Why am I attempting to build Ron and /not/ KP? Simply put, Kim is a fairly straight forward build in 5e terms. She’s an Inquisitive Rogue with a single dip into Monk. You could give her some Fighter levels (that UA Unarmed Fighting Style is so tempting) to keep up with Shego’s combat prowess, but her brain is honestly her key feature, making those Rogue levels very valuable (11 at minimum as far as I’m concerned). She’s you’re basic, average girl, and she’s here to save the world. Ronald, on the other hand, is remarkable by just how unremarkable he is while still somehow keeping up with Kim. Barely. For those who didn’t watch Kim Possible when they were younger or don’t have Disney+, he might not even seem like an adventurer. But Ron’s amazing in game terms; he’s at that level of naco cheesiness I just love to play. Plus, he has Rufus, and everyone loves Rufus. Spoilers may appear.

Let’s get into it:

I’m going to be using the standard point array from the PHB. If you would like to roll for stats, just keep in mind where to put your higher and lower rolls.

Ron’s 15 is going into Wisdom. He may seem like a totally inept doof, but he’s incredibly insightful and holds onto his own philosophies. Also, his best friend aside from KP is a naked mole rat (a very smart one at that, but that’s cartoon logic). I’m going to put 14 in Charisma. Ron isn’t intended on being conventionally attractive, but Charisma =/= being hot. It’s all about your presence and ability to get people to listen to you and consider what you’re saying. Ron is somehow able to casually talk with so many villains, so his CHA must be high. Also, he’s an honorary Pixie Scout. 13 is going straight into Constitution. He is R-unstoppable after all... He can take a real beating from even the more threatening foes and eats so many nacos that an above average CON is the only reason he hasn’t been hospitalized for his diet. I’ll give 12 to his Dexterity. He’s dodged lasers, booby traps, and incoming fire from all sorts of things. An adolescence of fighting robots and super-humans will leave you light on your feet and your hands. This may sound weird, but I’m giving his Strength the 10. He’s worked in retail and has lugged around some pretty heavy looking things. And that leaves Intelligence with 8. Ron isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He says good stuff, but don’t ask him to tutor you for the upcoming exam unless it’s a subject he excels at without question. I know he was kind of a genius when he became evil that one time, but I’m going to rationalize that as his INT & WIS swapping places when his alignment got shifted. Ron’s a Neutral Good guy with Chaotic leanings, so going Evil is bound to mess with your brain in more ways than one.

STR 10 || DEX 12 || CON 13 || INT 8 || WIS 15 || CHA 14

Ron’s a Human of the Variant variety, but if you want to play him as a Bugbear, that’s cool I guess. I’m not your dad. I’m going to bump up his WIS to 16 and CON to 14. And I’m going to give him the Magic Initiate (Wizard) feat. Prestidigitation & Mending can reflect parts of his Movie Makeup Magic Kit, but I’m really taking this feat for Find Familiar so we can have Rufus right off the bat. He’ll also get the Animal Handling skill because Rufus loves him.

For his Background, I’m going with Entertainer for proficiency with Acrobatics, Performance, Disguise Kits, & a musical instrument of your choice. This solidifies his place as the Middleton Mad Dog mascot, the costume of which he made using his MMMK, and he has disguised himself as Mr. Dr. Possible & The Fearless Ferret. However, if you feel that the By Popular Demand feature doesn’t fit Ron quite right, go with the Rustic Hospitality feature from the Folk Hero background.

Oh boy, time for the class.

Ron is a Monk, first and foremost. Despite his clumsy, slacker nature, he’s incredible capable when it comes to dodging blows from Shego & Kim even with his hands behind his back. In addition to Martial Arts & Unarmored Defense, he’ll receive proficiency in Cooking Utensils, Insight, Stealth. He will continue down this class for some time, but what kind of Monk would he be? In the show, he eventually becomes the Supreme Monkey Master as recognized by Master Sensei (I know what you’re thinking.), so we should probably begin with looking for which subclass could best emulate Monkey Kung Fu.

There is a lot of history when it comes to Kung Fu, more than I’m going to type out. That’s not even to mention the 5 variations of the Tai Shing system. I bring this up because Ron’s arch-nemesis, Monkey Fist, is a pracitioner of Tai Shing Pek Kwar and probably would be best described as a user of Wooden Monkey. However, the beauty of 5e is that many different martial art styles can be emulated based on how you use your action economy and describe your attacks & movements. Flavor is everything.

If I were to put all the Monkey magic from the show aside, I would guess Ron could pass as a user of various styles due to him not being nearly trained as much as Monkey Fist in a particular discipline. For D&D 5e, he could be seen as a Drunken Master or Open Hand Monk, but he does have that Monkey magic, putting Four Elements on the table even if we want to say the more mystical side of his simian abilities are due to multiclassing.

At 2nd level, Ron gets access to Ki Points that he can use for Flurry of Blows, Step of the Wind, or Patient Defense. PD is especially handy for the sidekick who would rather avoid danger. He also gets Unarmored Movement which is incredibly useful for a guy like Ron. His running ability landed him a spot on the Middleton High School American football team. Crazy right?

With all that out of the way, I’m going to say once he reaches 3rd level of Monk, Ron will adopt the Way of the Four Elements, learning Elemental Attunement (a more elemental version of Prestidigitation that we can swap out later) & one other viable Four Elements Discipline of your choice. Fist of Unbroken Air is a great option for pushing a foe back while dealing damage. He also gets the ability to Deflect Missiles which is always good.

4th level Monks get the option for an Ability Score Increase or a feat. Take the Lucky feat. It’s honestly super impressive that Ron survived so long fighting baddies before he started his martial arts training. Remember, Kim Possible is one of those shows that has stuff going on off-screen, so there have been many missions between the episodes we see. Monks get Slow Fall here too; Ron falls a lot and this may be how he’s avoided concussions when he should clearly get one.

5th level gives Ron an Extra Attack and Stunning Strike. The best way to avoid a punch is to insure your opponent can’t even throw one. Also, your Martial Arts die is now a d6.

At 6th level, Ron can gain a new 4EleDis as well as swap one out for another. Drop Elemental Attument like I mentioned earlier for Gong of the Summit. This allows you to cast Shatter, and we can flavor this to be a sort of mystical monkey screech. Pick up Clench of the North Wind so you can cast Hold Person; KP will have an easier time boppin’ bad guys when they aren’t moving. Also, your unarmed strikes are now magical when it comes to overcoming resistance and immunity against non-magical attacks & damage. Talk about that Ron factor.

7th level Monks get Evasion for even more ways to avoid danger & Stillness of Mind; he may seem like a coward, but Ron Stoppable won’t be swayed into abandoning his friends.

8th level gives Ron another chance for an ASI/feat. Bump up DEX by 2 to 14 so you can start dealing more damage and have a higher AC. 15 isn’t great but PD has probably served you well if you’ve survived this long.

At 9th level, Ron’s Unarmored Movement is improved so you can have him run along walls or over liquids as long as you keep moving. This isn’t super in-character, but it’s useful.

10th level of Monk gives our boy Purity of Body, making him immune to disease and poison. Looks like he won’t be able to miss school unless he fakes being sick.

11th level is really what we wanted from the Four Elements because now Ron can use Ride the Wind to cast Fly on himself like the Supreme Monkey Master he is. Plus, his Martial Arts die is a d8 now.

For 12th level, we have another ASI/feat opportunity, so that’s another +2 to Ron’s Dexterity for a 16. This gives him an AC of 16 with the ability to take the Dodge action as a bonus action with PD.

I’m going stop here with this build because I think this is a solid place that could potentially coincide with the show, but if you want to take Ron to 20th level, Monks do get two more ASI/feat opportunities at 16th & 19th level. Use these chances to bump up your DEX & WIS to 18 each, or make one of those a 20. Four Elements Monks also get one more Discipline they can take at 17th level; Ron would probably take the Fist of Four Thunders in order to cast Thunderwave. However, if you don’t want to continue levels in Monk, almost any subclass of Fighter or Thief/Swashbuckler Rogue (if your DM is cool with Martial Arts counting towards Sneak Attack) could be viable.

If you decided to opt out of the Magic Initiate feat I took at 1st level, you could easily just take the pet mouse from the Urchin background equipment. Or you could make Rufus a player character with an Awakened Rat as the race if you want him to be more involved.