#silly little post?

[masked-watcher]

Soap created a Group chat Soap changed the profile picture Soap changed the name to “1-whore-1 💅” Ghost left the chat Soap added Ghost to the chat Price: Shouldn't you all be working? Soap: Who says we aren't working? Price: You think chatting like this during work hours is considered "working"?! Soap: You're chatting too Price: It's different! Soap: Lmao yeah sure Soap: Hey, hey Ghost! Ghost ✓✓ Soap: DON'T LEAVE ME ON READ I SEE YOU'RE ONLINE Ghost has removed you from his "Friends" list and blocked you You're no longer able to see the user "Ghost" online status Ghost has left the chat Soap: WHAT THE FUCK Price: Soap, watch with the language! Soap: But but but but he blocked me Gaz: Maybe that's for a good reason? Soap: You're all so mean imma go cry Roach: Bro, seriously?! Soap: Shut up you insect 😭 Roach: Insect? Okay and you're literally the most basic dude here. Soap: Wow. Is national bully Soap day today? Gaz: Yeah, you didn't get the memo? Soap: 😭🖕 Soap is offline Price: Okay, I guess we shouldn't have gone too far... Roach: Too late now... Gaz: Soap will forgive us. Roach: You sure? Gaz: He'll be back in 3... Gaz: 2 Gaz: 1 Soap is online Soap: Okay can someone please tell Ghost to unblock me before I have to go physically meet him Price: Soap, just leave Ghost alone he clearly wants some time alone. Soap: But it's super mega important!! Price: What is so important that you need Ghost's attention?? Soap: That's a secret 👉👈 Price: Soap... Price: You're not still pining over him are you...? Soap: WHAT THE- Where the hell did you learn that word captain?? Price: ...I have my sources. Soap: I- Okay I don't even wanna know but NO I AM NOT Price: I was joking, Soap. You clearly are obsessed with him, I thought it was obvious. Soap: 🖕 Price: Don't you be giving me the finger, Soap, I can dock your pay for that. Soap: Abuse of power!!! I'm telling on you to Laswell!! Price: I'll dock your pay and your vacation days, don't challenge me. Soap: 😭

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[pussypopstiel]

[forecast0ctopus]

AN-TI-BO-DIES

[amygdalae]

[punkitt-is-here]

starlight and rainbow dash have a phone call

[lemonlimestar]

save me 90s bats…. 90s bats save me….

[eristhenat]

だんだん・Step by Step

[qiinamii]

"Xiao does things" (and friends) twitter log part 2

-- UPDATE: removed some of the arts to make its own individual post since I am bad at organizing, sorry! (but the last one is new lol) xD

[frogwithastrawberry]

This is a sturgeon appreciation post.

I love those little guys.

Beluga, Atlantic, Lake, Gulf, you name it.

I am appreciating them all right now

[thecoolertails]

i did it i got the trans shaggy clip

[sallymew4]

anime Mob not being as sassy as manga Mob was truly a loss

look at these

it even looks like he’s kind of grinning

[pussypopstiel]

[cinnabon0]

wow, this bro is so mysterious...

[rainba]

Yandere OC (Kairos) x Reader 💜

A/N / TWs: 18+, yandere content, Kairos being Kairos,, masturbation + pillow fucking + small mention of somnophilia and kidnapping

( ◡‿◡ *) MDNI 💜 

Reader is GN!!

Wordcount: 1106 💜 

--------------------------------------------------------------

Drool was dribbling down his chin, an absolute mess forming all over the bedsheets. His hips were twitching, bucking, grinding fervently against the silky black fabric of his pillow. His small hands gripped the edges as he held it as close as humanly possible. 

Kairos was utterly desperate.

“A-ah– Hah– Please– Please…”

He thrusts as fast as he possibly can, moaning your name ever-so-sweetly. He’s so unashamedly loud– he just can’t stop thinking about you: his perfect, amazing, sweet, soon-to-be-his darling. Kairos grits his teeth as he pushes his leaking cock even harder against the pillow, his entire body trembling as he whimpers.

“I-I love you, I love you, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!”

Images of your face flash across his mind as he recklessly chases his high. The bed squeaks beneath him. God– he wishes it was you in his arms rather than just a dumb, stupid pillow. If you were with him at that moment instead, he’d undoubtedly believe that he’d died and gone to heaven.

Ah… If you were with him… He’d cum inside you over and over again– claim you– leave kisses and marks all over your body– whisper praises into your ear as he lovingly fucks you. His hands would be trembling with excitement as they explore every inch of you. 

Kairos shudders as he imagines you squeezing yourself around his length. He whimpers as he also imagines you praising him back, telling him that he’s making you feel so good, begging him to keep going until he physically collapses.

Ah– if he fucks you good enough, you’ll never want to leave him! Right?? He’ll fuck you so good that you can barely walk, and that way, you’ll never be able to escape him… Kairos bites down on his bottom lip as his cock throbs at the thought.

“I… I’ll be your good boy… I’ll… I’ll treat you good..!”

“Y-you only need me, only me…”

He shifts positions on the bed and tries to put the pillow on top of himself, pretending that you’re riding him. He pushes it firmly against his length and tries to grind into it, but it’s hardly enough to satisfy him. Having the pillow on top doesn’t feel nearly as good– the only way for this position to work would be to have you actually on top of him. He needs to be inside of you– needs to be inside of you so, so badly–

The stupid pillow just isn’t enough.

He can’t help but tear up and whine at the fact that you’re not really with him right now.

Overwhelmed with frustration, he flips over the pillow and slams it against the bed, taking his rage out on it. He squeezes it as if to choke it; erratically shaking the poor thing as salty tears fall down his cheeks. 

He holds down the pillow with one hand as he carelessly strokes his cock with the other.

Then he imagines he’s fucking your face instead... Pretending he’s punishing you for not begging to be by his side. Punishing you for not spending every waking moment either being with him or thinking about him.

Oh– But… Would having your throat be ravaged by him really be a punishment?

Kairos imagines your eyes watering and cheeks puffing out as he abuses your mouth, bruising it, but he also pretends that you’d secretly love it. In his fantasy, you’d be touching yourself as he keeps thrusting, and he’d be petting your hair all the while. Or perhaps your hands would be gripping his thighs, holding him close, refusing to let him go… You’d cum without him needing to even touch you– the mere act of sucking his cock being all that you need to climax.

Or maybe– just maybe– you’d fight back. Bite down on his dick, make him bleed, tear him apart… You’d get mad at him, yank him by his messy hair, force his face into the bed and take control…

“F-fuck,” he slips out a high-pitched whine.

He’s getting close, he knows it. The room is growing so, so hot… His head is spinning. He almost wants to stop himself from cumming just so he can relish in his little fantasy just a bit longer– but he lacks even an ounce of self control. Kairos leans down and sinks his teeth into the pillow, precum leaking all over it. Even more tears prick the corners of his eyes as he imagines himself cumming inside your mouth, envisioning you moaning as you choke it all down.

Then he fantasizes you kissing his cock and thanking him, licking and suckling on the tip as he comes down from his high. It’s such a wonderful thought… Such… A wonderful thought…

That’s all it takes for him to come undone.

“A-ah.. Aah..!~”

Kairos’ entire body trembles and jerks as he cums, sweat dripping down his pale cheeks as the intensity of it all washes over him. His breathing is erratic, his heart pounding against his chest.

He’s made a huge mess.

And he doesn’t care that it’s a little bit gross… He kisses the pillow over and over again, pretending that he’s actually just leaning down to kiss your forehead instead. He endlessly whispers the phrase “I love you” as he tenderly strokes it. When he slowly calms down and the fantasy fades away, all he has left are the dark walls of his dusty bedroom and the cum-soaked pillow between his legs. 

It’s pathetic.

Kairos chokes down a labored sob as he weakly throws the pillow across the room– his face red with embarrassment. It hits the wall and plops onto the floor, folding in on itself. His hands ball up into tight fists.

Kairos can’t take this anymore.

He wants you– no, he needs you so badly. He craves you like a hard drug, yearns for your unconditional love, dreams every night of owning you entirely.

Sneak into your bedroom, kidnap you, or make love to you while you’re sleeping– he needs to do something, anything, just to get even the smallest taste of you.

But right now… He’s too tired. His body collapses, his heart aching in his chest. He runs his fingers through his bangs, the sweat making his hair a mess. In some strange way, he feels at peace– at peace knowing that one day, you will be his, and his alone.. It’s just… A matter of time.

His fantasies will become a reality.

His eyes slowly flutter shut as he smiles weakly from ear-to-ear, the tears fading away as he dreams of the day where he can hold you close in the gentle cage of his loving arms.