#snark and banter

[kalee60]

Coming soon for the

Silver Fox Steve Bang!

As cold as Ice

Fic by me - art by x-pixel-x

Uploading the week commencing 23rd July!

SUMMARY:

When Bucky Barnes signed up for an anonymous hookup weekend away via a new App, he was more than a little excited at the prospect of meeting his sexual equal. The anticipation of all of his desires being met by someone with similar tastes was a unique prospect. No more trawling bars for uninspiring and unremarkable one night stands, this App was the future.

Except when Bucky arrives at the secluded cabin in the midst of a blizzard, two things become abundantly clear. He was snowed in for the weekend with no escape, and the App was completely, and utterly wrong. It had paired him with none other than Steve Rogers, the bane of his work life, the older and self-imposed ‘superior’ co-worker who he hated with a passion.

But then Steve makes Bucky an offer too enticing to refuse...And so begins a weekend of snarky quips, bad decisions, and the beginning of the end to the world's most antagonising work rivalry. Because, it's just sex… Right?

~*~*~*~

Thanks to @silver-fox-steve-bang for the brilliant bang so far - I can't believe it's so close to the end and the sharing of some amazing fics and art! And the wonderful banner is by @gotlostonmywayhome

[mishy-mashy]

Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list

He's:

Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)

Long-legged

Has a straight nose bridge

Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)

Has a strong jawline

Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)

Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features

Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)

Even has a thick, muscly neck

He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)

(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-

-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)

The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one

Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute

Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:

Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)

Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO

Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor

Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.

Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.

Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?

Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor

He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.

Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.

These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.

Is logical, analytical, and calm.

He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.

Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).

Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.

We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.

Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya

While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.

Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.

He actually communicates a lot

When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.

(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])

When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.

He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".

Is strong-willed and loyal.

He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.

Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.

AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.

Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.

Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.

[crimeronan]

eda and darius are especially hilarious because they are The Same Person. have we ever talked about this. i know i've been thinking about this for Years now and i can't remember if i've actually written any meta about it.

these are both ornery closed-off emotionally repressed adults with 10,000 personal issues and zero social life except for their weird gremlin roommate whom they treat like family even though the weird gremlin roommate is a giant pain in the ass. they both get followed around extensively by literally The Most Annoying Children In The World who refuse to take an "i'm a negligent burnout who should never be responsible for kids" hint until the kids finally manage to be so annoying and so relentless and so genuinely goodhearted that the ornery adult is like FINE. this is my FUCKING CHILD NOW. I GUESS. go on to become the child's mentor and then the child's parent or at least to blur the lines between those two. teach the kid about an area of interest they're hyperfixated on. complain mutinously the entire time they're doing it. constantly talk about how they're going to bed and/or want naps and/or don't want to work. engage in insane rivalries with extremely dangerous people sometimes for thematic plot reasons and sometimes just for the fun of it. can turn into giant really hot monsters made of magic. fail to let anyone in on what they're thinking or feeling or planning even on pain of death. truly both start out as completely miserable burnt-out bastards who then regain the life in their eyes when they start hanging out with their random pseudo-orphaned children with turbo autism.

like. listen to me. They Are The Same Person. you think they aren't because darius looks like this high-fashion super cool spy dude who managed to lead a coven without raising suspicion for 30 years and eda is an alcoholic nightmare lady who sleeps in a nest filled with animal bones and digs through actual trash piles for a living but I NEED EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND. THEY. ARE. THE. SAAAAME

[charismabee]

about the livestream ama

Jonny Sims saying the Contrarian and the Skeptic were a buddy cop duo was so based and real of him

(And that the Opportunist thinks everyone loves him but they don't)

but what interested me most was him saying the Hunted and Cold would be friends. I've never really thought about that pairing before but it does work. The Hunted's main thing being keeping the body alive could help balance out the Cold's general blasé nature when it comes to death, while being rational enough (focussing on his senses and what he knows is real) for the Cold to actually take him seriously. While the Cold being able to push the Hunted to act somewhat like the Stubborn, but slightly less strongly. He's confident that they can get the job done, and with the Hunted keeping them alive they could get a lot done without either really getting sick of the other. Just two reliable guys.

A little off topic but I think they'd work pretty well as a trio with Paranoid too, given a little time for Paranoid to get used to it. Cold's confidence plus Hunted's survival instinct could give him something reliable to work with, and I think he could help him by pointing out when they're going to far in either direction and going to get themselves hurt, as both can be rather single minded (on different things, mind you, but definitelythings that could leave them with blind spots) while Paranoid thinks of every possibility and could probably bring up flaws in any given plan that the others wouldn't notice, and at least Hunted would probably take it into consideration if its going to get them hurt or killed. Like a scared little peer reviewer of any plans the other two would execute

[thefightinfoggy]

Skimmed through the bendis run again to try to find a specific panel and instead got distracted:

[torchwood-99]

First Theloise, now Cressida/Eloise (Elossida?) Bridgerton, if you want me to give a flying fuck about Philoise, you need to stop presenting me with so much more promising alternatives.

[amorficzna]

Got me some of that shadowblood, bloodheart (???) brain rot. I just feel like their banter as a couple would be off the chain. Could you imagine? Enjoy some half-baked bant ideas if you will (part 1)

----------

Shadowheart: How did you find me?

Astarion: I could smell you.

Shadowheart: You know, for how much you claim to be a seductor, you are incredibly bad at it.

----------

Find more in da reblogs

[quiltedlovers]

i know the consensus is that trent crimm (independent) is likely going to take up keeley’s job now that she’s got her firm but something about the clip they used in the trailer (walking alone in the dark) has me leaning into the suspicion ive had for a long time which is that colin is going to get his moment of focus/character develop this season which is going to tackle his self esteem issues and cover his sexuality. id be willing to wager colin will either seek trent out or trent would be who ted aims to connect colin with either for support or to help him come out/help mitigate the media storm following his coming out or his being outed. colin’s whole pink tie leopard print shirt grindr swan lake overcompensating with the lambo he can’t drive issues with not seeing himself as strong or capable (in other words: masculine) has felt entirely too deliberate. i also would be surprised if they didn’t include some sort of acknowledgement of the soccer players who have come out in recent years. and they have colin in such an interesting position because we know he’s not necessarily remarkable. he messes up in training and in matches, he doesn’t have the star power or the excellence that jamie and dani and sam and isaac have and yet he’s been more in focus since the beginning like all of these other players who have gotten their moments and whose journeys we’ve already seen or are seeing in greater detail. nate’s whole spiel was cruel, exaggerated, and uncalled for, but i think there is a very interesting dynamic to explore through the self esteem issues in the case of a player who isn’t special enough to have a chant or be a team captain, one who could arguably be called expendable with some modicum of truth (if it weren’t richmond, if it weren’t for ted, if colin wasn’t part of the fam). i think it’s clear following the exposition thus far that something is coming with colin. i think it will be this, and trent crimm

[twistsandturnsroundwonderland]

Taking Five

NRC needs its magestone back. Leona needs a break. You get your own Fairy Gala vignette.

(Gender neutral reader, second person POV, no physical description of reader, can be platonic or romantic depending on your reading)

~

With a final step, you find yourself in front of the door to Pomefiore’s ballroom. You and Grim had been working with Epel in the lab three floors down, but when the freezing cold had your components crystallizing before they could mix, you’d decided to check in on your current school-saving and student-wrangling project.

The faint music that had been audible outside the room grows louder as you open the door. You’re greeted by the sight of Vil, still as a statue and just as flawless as his gaze unerringly tracks the sweat-soaked dancing pair of Jamil and Kalim. Grim makes a break for the latter two, no doubt eager to show off his own moves, considering how much he’d been bragging just minutes ago. Which leaves…

Leona is about ten meters away and moving slowly, three vases still wobbling with his steps; you easily catch up to his almost glacial pace.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Leona’s voice comes out in a growl, no doubt hearing your approach even if he doesn’t see it, eyes locked forward as he takes another step. Savanaclaw’s housewarden looks well past his usual grumpy mood, and his typical superior air is more that of a disgruntled house cat caught outside in the rain. You quickly school your features into neutrality though; any sign of pity in this moment will get your head bitten off.

“I came to see how things are going.”

“Great, fine. Now go bother someone else, herbivore.”

You purse your lips, considering. “Hey, Vil, Leona and I are taking five.” Your voice carries over the music, easily filling the acoustically perfect room. Leona freezes before turning almost painfully slowly to stare you down, expression somewhere between annoyed, bewildered, and curious.

“No. Leona still hasn’t made it even halfway around the room without spilling water.” Vil’s voice is sharper than his cheekbones, critical stare not leaving Kalim and Jamil’s forms, seemingly determined to ignore… whatever it is that Grim is doing.

You look at Vil, eyebrows arched and mouth set in a firm line. Grim, spotting your expression even halfway across the room, stops and begins inching backward, familiar enough with that expression to want to be out of the blast radius. After a long few moments, the lack of reply has Vil finally turning his head, returning your gaze. The music pauses and Kalim and Jamil freeze. It’s quiet save for the gentle sloshing of water as Leona turns his head, looking between the two of you.

“That wasn’t a question.” Your words are as even as your stare, and a wrinkle of annoyance appears on Vil’s otherwise flawless face.

“Spudling…” There’s a clear note of warning in Vil’s voice that you opt to blatantly ignore. Behind him, Kalim, precariously perched on one hand and the ball of one foot, slides to the floor with a thump.

“Five minutes. Just trust me.”

The staring contest is finally broken when Vil turns away, restarting the music. “Five minutes. Kalim, what did you do? Back on your feet at once.”

“Right. Let’s go,” you say as you turn back to Leona, only to find that he’s already shedding his vases of water.

“C’mon, herbivore. Balcony’s this way.”

In all honesty, you’d at least half-expected Leona to ditch you at once, so it’s with some surprise that you acquiesce and follow Leona out of the ballroom and out to one of several balconies found at Pomefiore.

“So do you need a towel or- never mind then.” Leona has pocketed his magic pen again before you can even finish the sentence, a flash of yellow and a rush of wind leaving him dry and even more windswept than usual.

“If I never see a vase again, it’ll be too soon.” Leona says, stretching, as you lean on the cool stone wall extending out over the garden. You make a noise of agreement, looking out over the manicured lawn and greenery of Pomefiore, contemplating what would happen if you brought a peacock back to Ramshackle. “So, what do you want?”

“Hm?”

“Five minutes ain’t worth much, but it’s still five minutes I don’t have to listen to Vil.”

Oh. Right. The ever present suspicion of ulterior motives at Night Raven College. How could you have forgotten?

“Mostly, control over the Ramshackle thermostat again.”

“Yeah?” Leona’s tail twitches, its path seemingly impeded by his gala outfit courtesy of Professor Crewel. “Tch. This whole thing is annoying. How’d I end up here anyway?”

“Oh no. Being made responsible for cleaning up someone else’s problems. What an unimaginable nightmare that I have no absolutely experience with.” You say, entirely deadpan.

Leona’s ears flick in surprise before he laughs. “Someone’s not feelin’ very sympathetic after all.”

“You’d threaten to eat me if I felt sorry for you.”

“You’re not wrong.” He looks at you sidelong, mouth pulling into that familiar smirk. “Ya know. I could just leave. Not like you could stop me anyway.”

He’s right, or, he would be, if you hadn’t already considered that. “True. But I’m not the one you need to worry about.” You lean further over the balcony railing to call out. “Hey, Rook!”

There’s scarcely a rustle before a purple hat pops out of a bush, and Rook is waving frantically. “Trickster! Roi de Lions! Bonjour!”

You wave back while Leona groans, head dropping in apparent defeat. At least for the moment- it’s check, not mate.

“So what was the other motivation on gettin’ me out of there anyway? If you wanted to butter someone up, Kalim’s family is richer than most of the royal families combined.”

You roll your eyes. “Frankly, Leona, I do not give a flying-”

“FNYAH!!” There’s a loud shout from Grim somewhere in the depths of Pomefiore, and you pause.

“He’ll be fine.” You brush it off. “The point is, I don’t care about money or you being a prince right now. It’s- hm.” You ponder how to explain, half watching Leona as you consider. “Ruggie can make the switch with the tiara,” you start.

“I know. That’s why I brought him.”

“Right. He’s the best at sleight of hand in the school. Then Kalim is… definitely good at being bright and loud and, well, he can be a good distraction. And Jamil can keep Kalim out of trouble. Mostly.” Leona nods at your assessment, looking down at the garden below. Or keeping an eye out for Rook; it’s hard to tell. “Everyone has their role, and they’re all very good at what they’re doing. But it’s not enough. Like it or not, there’s something here that only you can do, and we need you to pull this off.”

Leona chuckles, the sound ringing dark and hollow. “Do you now? And what do you think you need me to do?”

“Besides go back into the ballroom in a minute? Falling asleep on the runway probably wouldn’t be ideal, but… I did mean what I said.”

Leona’s tail flicks, barely missing you. “Then what do you do, herbivore?”

“I thought that one was obvious.” Leona looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “The same thing I always do: keep this place from falling apart around everyone’s ears.” Leona’s resounding laugh is genuine this time, and it brings a smile to your face. “I mean. At this point it has to be less work overall just to put the effort in on Vil’s training, right?”

“Five minutes is up,” is all the answer you get from Leona, just as all the thanks you get is his flicking tail smacking your arm. “C’mon, herbivore. We’ve got a show and a magestone to steal.”

[bikananjarrus]

hilarious that in the “rebels sequel show” hera and sabine only had one (1) conversation just the two of them. like lol. lmao even

[queen-scribbles]

If you were going to a worldwide fandom meet, and were to present one fanfic you wrote, as a means to introduce yourself to the other fanfic writers, which fanfic will you recommend?

[sending this to as many fic writers i can send to, please know that it is optional to answer or not, thank you for reading this ask 💖]

Hmmmmmm, well, if Of Wardens and Pariahs was done I'd say that, but since it isn't....

Really tight race between Unmerited and Taking Initiative, tbh. While I am really proud of how well I did with Arcann's voice (first time ever writing him) in Umerited, and I think it's a good display of at least some themes I like to write about a lot, Taking Initiative has banter, backstory, Jorgan, and is filling in a blank space from the narrative, which is the type of scene I love to write. I'm also really, really, REALLY damn proud of basically everything about it.

[mxanigel]

Tagged by @mxkelsifer to do Six Sentence Sunday, thank you!

I literally just posted the sixth chapter for Lynn Shepard's Citadel DLC fic~ here are six sentences from it, in Garrus's POV:

He carries an armful of books to his girlfriend’s desk as he takes stock of the state of this room. It’s in utter disarray. Beyond most of its contents being thrown out, even the bed has been stripped, one pillow slashed (likely with an omni-tool blade). The clone clearly loathed leaving any evidence of the real Shepard behind. A bizarre move if she intended to become Commander Shepard. Though the fish tank appears untouched, with koi and striped dartfish lazily drifting through the water as if nothing around them had changed.

Click here for the fic on AO3!

[paulmitzkowski]

Jagster the goblin (protagonist of my fantasy WIP) being a snarky bastard for 8 scenes.

[lovecolibri]

You keep quoting Alex and I'm going to have to read the damn book.

GO READ THE DAMN BOOK!

[themsource]

Edge: "Oh please! You don't wear that collar, you hide behind it! Because you're scared of the world and what it can do to you!"

*Edge and Stretch stare at each other*

Stretch: "So what if I am?"

Edge: (Sockets widen)

*More staring*

Edge: "Are...are you okay?"

[anxiouspotatorants]

Maybe I’m Not The Person That I Never Wanted To Be: An installment in the Audio Junkies And Snark Attacks-verse by Ava_Was_Right.

“Sorry, can you say that again?” Paris shook her head. “You heard me the first time.” “See, I’m not so sure I did.”“Last time I checked your hearing is just fine, you just suck at processing information.” “All the more reason to say it again.” Paris inhaled and huffed through her nose. “… I need your advice.”

Read here.

(Raw image source: x)