#so I CANNOT fall asleep because Sounds and then also that keeps me up long enough that MY BODY. IS HURTS. and then I REALLY can't sleep

[blujayonthewing]

waoh boy I love to sleep in my bed in my bedroom with my husband and just simply not actually sleep even a little bit because my body is hurts

[silkentine]

Me when they are the sisters ever: 😭😭😭 They came out soooo freaking well. I won’t lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it 😤

Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. ⬇️

I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, I’ve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australian🌺 and Mexican 🏴‍☠️) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Ace’s Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.

Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (don’t think about it too much 😢). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).

Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I don’t want it to be a hindrance if they’re in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldn’t have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesn’t take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like you’d think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, it’s a total rat’s nest and there’s sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating 😂 but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment 😔).

Honestly, her design is not that different from Ace’s canon look. It feels really vital to Ace’s character to have a lot of skin showing. And he’s always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. That’s just the character, okay? (I’m partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Ace’s hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)

Here are some closeups of Ace:

Now for Sabo, I’ve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that she’d wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragon’s plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.

I’ve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesn’t know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesn’t call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine she’s not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) it’s fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.

Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when she’s in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Ace’s flaming mane. I’m so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Ace’s warm brown ones, but we’re talking about Sabo rn).

Here are her close-ups:

Plot notes for this AU:

For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I don’t know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. I’m too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Ace’s death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Sabo’s character is carrying on Ace’s will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, I’ll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. I’m definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes 😭 They are sisters!!!

Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! 🥰

[wonryllis]

☆ ᵎᵎ ENHYPEN COMING HOME TO FIND YOU ASLEEP.

╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen in whipped era 𖥔 ݁ fluff, soft soft softtt LIB? fem!reader word count `719 PLS REBLOG!!

𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 he knows you stay up late waiting for him, this time he finds your figure laid against the soft cushion in a weirdly adorable position. heeseung quietly tiptoes to have a closer look, taking his time to admire your sleeping face. oh he so wishes to keep coming home to you like this. he'd sit beside you and tell you things he could never have said to your face, his deepest thoughts. apologizing for things he could've done better and thanking you for being with him and loving him.

i think i will love you forever, i want to.

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 he is so used to it, at least he thinks he's so used to it but everytime he comes home to find you passed out on the couch, or on the carpet slightly lolling to the side the book in your hands almost falling off, he feels the same butterflies he did when it first happened. if you aren't in your pajamas already, best believe he'll change you himself, not wanting to disturb your sleep and put you to bed like magic fairy. he'll join you in later, and if you accidentally stir awake he'll put you back to sleep.

shh, go back to sleep love, i'm right here.

𝘀𝗶𝗺 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻 this guy has a field trip range of emotions upon seeing you asleep after a long day of work. he feels this fuzzy and warm feeling watching the one he loves sleep so peacefully, and on the other hand he's so excited to just join you. if you're on the couch he'll squeeze himself in whatever space he finds and cuddle you into the morning and if you're on the bed, he'll leech onto you leaving more than half the mattress empty while he snuggles into his baby on your side of the bed.

mmm, love having you in my arms like this

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻 outwardly he's so nonchalant at first, just coming up to your passed out figure and picking you up to get you to the bed, a smile on the tip of his lips. however the moment you nuzzle into him in a soft whine, he's so putty feeling his heart skip beats, his breath staggering like boy is damn smitten. placing you on the bed he'll quietly pull the covers on, a sneaky kiss on the lips and then leave the room to calm himself down, maybe even scream silently a little with the way you get him nervous over nothing.

fuck, she's so damn adorable i'll melt.

𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝘄𝗼𝗼 he'll text you to ask if you're awake and if you don't respond he knows you're out. he'd definitely softly speak about his day even though you're not listening. complimenting you as he always does of how pretty you manage to look all the time. will sing you a bunch of songs if you wake up, holding you close and tracing over your features, smiling so wide all the tiredness of the day washes away. also makes sure to wake up before you to again admire your sleeping face.

you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻 asleep or not, jungwon is always careful when he walks through the door, softly opening and closing it. tiptoeing inside as quietly as he possibly can, and when he spots you asleep on the couch he'll put everything down to bring you to bed. carrying you like the most precious thing, laying you on the mattress and immediately leaning over to leave kisses all over. if you stir awake he's getting in and cuddling you back to sleep, hands caressing your head gently.

it's just me baby, you looked so cute couldn't help it.

𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶 will absolutely not switch on anything or make any sound and obviously will carry you to bed if you're passed out somewhere else. he'll kinda avoid looking at your face, until he cannot help it and god help him because once he does he'll be glued, eyes staring non stop. he can't believe someone so beautiful loves him, and all these complicated emotions come at once. he's overwhelmed and so whipped, he'd play around with your hair deep in these thoughts until sleep comes to him too.

how did i manage to have someone like you?

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia @nxzz-skz

[satoruxx]

THE SPACE BETWEEN COMFORT AND CHAOS.

✧ PAIRING: wolf!toji fushiguro x f!reader | 4.3k words

✧ SUMMARY: wolfhybrid!toji, hybrid au, flashback centric, grumpy x sunshine, animalistic behavior, mentions of injuries, violence, societal inequality, arguments, hateful speech towards hybrids, dysfunctional families, and a shit ton of angst and anger, lil fluff at the end !!

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: hiii it's my birthday this weekend so i'm dropping chapter 4 as a quick thank you for all the support !! i love you all so much <33 this one is very toji centric and gives a lot of his past and lore to explain why he is the way he is and what led him to find reader !! there is a lot of inequality in this chapter so keep that in mind as you proceed. as always i would recommend checking out the previous parts before reading this :33

prev. | series masterlist.

the smell of blood makes toji's eyes crack open. it fills his nostrils, heavy and metallic, and it makes his hair stand on end. despite being so used to that scent, it still makes him uneasy, because sometimes he cannot tell whose blood it is.

once his eyes adjust to the dim lighting, he can't fall back asleep, though he knows he still needs rest. a series of cracks echo from his joints as he sits up, pulses of fatigue swimming through his muscles. pushing up from the ground, he casually approaches the metal bars of his cell.

his cage.

his nose twitches, the smell of blood stronger now that he's closer. a loud yawn rips from his throat, eyes catching some guards dragging another hybrid who had fought that day. he watches them throw the unconscious animal into his cell, not sparing another glance as they turn away. the sounds of their boots gets on toji's nerves, but he does not even have enough time to pity the poor creature.

another set of guards approach his cell. he's sure that they might once again tell him off for being too aggressive, or for not following orders, or for another whipping, but he's saved this time because they're just escorting a hybrid.

a familiar hybrid.

"what's wrong?" toji drawls, lips tugging into a casual smirk. "did y'lose?"

the tiger hybrid hisses angrily in return, as though personally offended, and bares his teeth. his striped ears starkly contrast his pinkish hair.

"like hell," sukuna answers proudly.

toji is about to comment on the various bloodied scratches littering sukuna's body, but one of the guards roughly shoves the tiger into his cell.

"get in!"

sukuna turns to pin him with a murderous glare, tone even and chilling. "touch me again and i'll kill you."

the guard scoffs, unbothered, before shutting the barred door behind him. sukuna's anger rises, but he does not say anything else, choosing to stare daggers at them until they've disappeared around the corner. toji understands the feeling. it would be a piece of cake to rip their throats out, especially for predators as vicious as wolves and tigers.

but they can't. one scratch on a human and they'd be put down.

a beat of silence passes. toji is sure the hybrid sitting across the hall is also thinking about the same thing, so used to biting his tongue just to stay alive.

(he remembers the first day sukuna got thrown in, hisses and snapping teeth as he cursed the guards with all sorts of creativity. toji had been underground long enough to see the same spectacle over and over again, and so he hadn't really given a damn at that time. the two passed weeks in silence, purely focused on their own individual fights and then immediately falling asleep once back in their respective cells.

toji was no expert at reading people, but he could tell that the tiger was as stubborn as he was—they refused to acknowledge one another.

and when they were finally pitted against each other, it was a messy fight. toji still remembers the way the crowd had roared at their aggressive attacks, every draw of blood eliciting some sick twisted pleasure within them.

toji had been used to putting in the bare minimum during his fights, finding it relatively easy to win against other predators. but that fight against sukuna was the first time he struggled a little bit.

the tiger will never admit it, but the feeling was definitely mutual.

so after the brawl, when they were both quietly sitting in their cages and hissing at their wounds stubbornly, there was a brief moment of acknowledgement.

"where the hell did you learn how to fight like that?" the tiger had eyed toji warily, thick brows furrowed in a way that made him look extra grumpy.

after that, it seemed that there was a mutual sense of respect between the two of them. they are not friends per se, definitely not. both toji and sukuna know that if it came down to it, they would kill the other in the arena if it meant staying alive.

but there was an understanding that they were both on the same level. and it seemed that those who ran the fights understood that too.

after all, fights between the two of them were always a very popular spectacle.)

even now, sukuna doesn't look at toji, too busy muttering a string of insults aimed at the guard from earlier. toji ignores them, used to it. they remain in that same silence, not uncomfortable, but not really comfortable either.

toji takes a seat, crossing his legs and leaning against the cold bars. he can still hear the sounds of the guards footsteps echoing through the halls, and that just makes him crave freedom—another familiar feeling.

he should be used to it by now. craving what he cannot have.

sukuna seems to know what he's thinking, because he scoffs with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "don't start."

"you don't ever think about running?" toji ponders, dragging his claws across the stone floor. the tiger's ears twitch, sensitive to the sound, and he throws toji a scathing scowl.

"run? where the hell would we go?" the tiger grumbles, crossing his bulky arms. "you know they'll just find us again. it's pointless."

"but it's happened before," toji insists, scratching behind his ear absentmindedly. there have always been whispers floating through the compound, of hybrids with guts of steel that took it upon themselves to make a run for it. though several were caught and devastatingly punished, there were those who they never saw again. the idea that they must be somewhere where light shines and wind blows is strangely comforting.

"yeah rarely," the tiger snorts in return. a quiet hiss of displeasure escapes his lips as he notices the claw marks running up his arm, and he carefully begins licking at his wounds. "most of the time those fools get caught. and then they get punished."

toji shrugs noncommittally, leaning his head against the bars. "worth the risk."

sukuna curiously peers at him from over his injured arm, heavy brows furrowed. "you really think it's that much better up there?"

"anywhere's better than in here." toji says it resolutely, and sukuna, normally so snippy, says nothing to rebuke him.

before the conversation can continue, toji's nostrils fill with a familiar scent—cigarettes, ironed clothes, faint whiskey. he suppresses a roll of his eyes.

"look who it is." he sarcastically cranes his neck, watching as shiu kong approaches his cell with a nonchalant smile.

"you sure do look relaxed for someone who just had me do a shit ton of paperwork." shiu leans against the wall, eyeing toji through the cell. toji does not like that he has to look up to meet his gaze, so he gets to his feet and casually crosses his arms.

"what the fuck did i do?"

"lots of people enjoyed your fight yesterday. with the polar bear?" shiu pulls out a cigarette, and toji's nose crinkles. "you've got an increase in bets, y'know?"

"who cares?" toji mutters, pushing away from the bars to pace around his cell.

it's not like any of the hybrids get that money.

"i do," shiu chuckles, cigarette balanced between his lips. "you're helping me get paid."

"lucky you," toji sarcastically shoots back. shiu snorts in amusement, crossing his arms.

"anyways, i'm thinking this is a good time to host a big fight for you. the timing is good." toji's "manager" (if that's what you can call him) eyes the wolf as he exhales a puff of smoke. toji's eyes narrow in return, a feeling of anticipation and mild irritation crawling up his skin.

"so you two—" shiu nods his head towards the wolf and the grumpy tiger sitting across the hall. "—prepare for a show, alright?"

sukuna curses colorfully, and toji rolls his eyes. "relax. i'm not giddy to fight you either, asshole."

"yeah because you'll lose," the tiger hisses, baring his teeth.

"oh yeah? that's not what happened last time." toji grins wolfishly, watching sukuna's anger rise.

"because you fucking cheated!"

"aw, little cat can't handle a few bites?" toji's amusement becomes more palpable, enjoying the argument—a very common occurrence for the two of them. "that's why dogs are better."

"i'll kill you," sukuna utters ominously, his striped tail puffed and curling in an aggressively defensive display.

"try it," toji smirks back.

"alright easy boys," shiu chuckles, shaking his head in mild exasperation. "save that energy for the actual fight. people eat that shit up."

"and somehow we're the animals," sukuna grumbles, deciding he's done with the conversation as he heads over to the corner of his cell and curls up on the ground.

"well yeah," shiu shrugs, unfazed. "you should be used to that by now."

they are.

"anyway i figured i'd let you know." the older man turns to face toji. "i know most of the fights are pretty easy for you. but since you both are top tier fighters, prepare how you need to."

"it's not like we've never fought before," toji replies dryly, ears twitching. "i know how it goes down."

"well okay." shiu adjusts his suit jacket, shoving his hands into his pockets.

from the corner of his eye, toji can see sukuna listening in, face impassive.

"you two give me a good show, alright?" shiu casually waves over his shoulder, before heading off back in the direction he came.

"whatever," sukuna grunts, turning on his side. toji watches the tiger's tail lazily flick—side to side. "i hate dogs."

toji lets out a dry chuckle. "well i'm not the biggest fan of cats either, asshole."

again, they aren't friends, but the bleakness of their situation makes it easier to tolerate one another.

a week later, they both face off in the area as promised. shiu claps toji on the back before he heads in, a gesture that makes the wolf's skin prickle, but he brushes it off. he could have someone worse be in charge of him, but shiu is a bit easier to get along with than most of the humans down there. though toji isn't naive—the only reason shiu is so casually cheery around him is because toji is his biggest moneymaker.

that's what it all came down to.

sukuna and toji have both fought enough times to know how to play to the crowd's wishes. they bark and snarl at each other like they are truly wild, claws and teeth and blood everywhere because they know that's what gets the humans going.

that's what gets them to open their wallets at least.

sukuna takes the victory this time around, which is not inherently unusual—they both have a fairly even split of victories and losses. they play up their enmity, and everyone goes wild.

even though hybrids are the shackled ones, somehow these humans remind toji of puppets—so easily manipulated.

the two of them stand and rile up the crowd at the end, acting like they truly are nothing but feral animals who know only to growl and snap at each other. as soon as they hear the sounds of money being exchanged and the roar of conversation they are escorted back to their cells.

toji's ears ring with the sounds of groans and cheers, the same familiar words grating his ears.

"i told you sukuna would win this one!"

"yeah but i said toji would draw first blood, so pay up!"

imbeciles. savages. nothing humane about them.

in their cells, both of them do their best to clean up their wounds. but a fight this aggressive usually results in equally rough damage.

"i think you fractured my rib or something," toji grunts, wincing as he sits down. sukuna throws him an unimpressed look through the bars of his cage.

"not my fault you're weak."

toji's middle finger flies up automatically, and sukuna's lips pull up to one side. "ask them for medical if it's that bad."

"yeah right," toji snorts, licking away the blood that has been dripping from the corner of his mouth. "like they'll listen."

it's more of a curse that hybrids have a better pain tolerance than humans. the medics here never take their injuries seriously for that exact reason.

no instead, they are expected to clean up as they can and prepare for the next fight, letting their body heal as well as possible. humans have always been so hypocritical.

they both relax in a welcome silence. toji suddenly realizes how tired he is, jade eyes straining as he attempts to fix himself up. he knows the rules—damaged merchandise is treated as such.

his ears pick up the faint sound of footsteps approaching, and he realizes that it's probably shiu coming over to update them about the earnings of their fights.

but he is entirely surprised.

"wow, you're definitely a sight."

toji's eyes narrow, teeth gritting. his mood plummets, ears straightening and tail going rigid. the sound of that voice makes every bit of hatred in toji's body come bubbling to the surface. he glares over his shoulder, spitting out each word with extreme difficulty. "what the fuck do you want?"

naoya zenin looks down his nose at the wolf, a greasy smile on his face. naobito zenin stands just behind him, arms crossed with a barely visible look of disgust on his face.

toji's cousin conveniently ignores the accusatory question, peering around the cells and hallway with feigned interest. "these conditions are terrible!"

he finally pins toji with his gaze, an evil smile pulling at his lips. "well, that's to be expected for animals."

"what the fuck do you want?!" toji growls, claws digging into the ground. naoya's eyes light up at the anger, knowing full well that those claws can never come anywhere near him.

"temper! temper!" the blonde gasps, tutting at toji like he's nothing more than a child. "haven't you learned how to control yourself by now?"

"let me out of this cell and i'll show you just how much control i have." the wolf's voice is no more than a rumble, dark and ominous because there is nothing in the world that toji hates more than his own family.

naoya shakes his head, feigning a look of disappointment. "so violent. it's a good thing we put you in here. who knows how dangerous you could've been to us."

the words hit their mark, a jab of self-hatred. toji's green eyes flit over to his uncle, sharp and accusatory.

the one who ratted him out to this godforsaken place.

toji knows when normal families have a predator hybrid born into their home, they lie and cheat and hide them away from this life—too desperate to keep their child away from such danger. after all, it's not the child's fault they were born a predator.

but not toji's family. not the zenins, who took one look at him and waited for the second he turned 18 before hauling him off.

nothing but a bunch of rats.

he knows that he was worth a lot of money. a healthy and fit wolf hybrid, broader and stronger than most of his own species. and of course, his family was quick to sell him off, glad to be rid of this curse on their family—the only shame.

toji had grown up knowing he was hated, but he never thought a family could do something so horrible to one of their own. he stopped seeing the best in people after that.

"you brought this on yourself," his uncle states now, emotionless. his opinion on hybrids has not changed one bit, and yet he shamelessly comes to the compound to collect a portion of the winnings that toji earns. "born with tainted blood."

"you're acting like it's my fucking fault, old man," toji spits out, hackles raised. he wants them to leave, because all he feels when looking at them is nausea.

"it's your damn mother's fault. couldn't keep away from my brother. she ruined him," naobito's emotionless voice takes on a tone of hatred, and toji tenses. "filthy dog whore."

toji's reaction is instantaneous. he's at the bars in a second, teeth bared and spewing curses as he makes a mad grab for either of them. he doesn't care—all he wants to do is tear them to shreds. toji can feel his wounds open further, can feel blood dripping over his skin, but all that seems miniscule when they are in front of him.

the cause of every single misfortune he has ever had.

naoya hops out of the way, laughing—it is a mocking, grating laugh that echoes throughout the hall as he watches toji desperately struggle. "see see! this is why you're dangerous!"

naobito shakes his head, as though he's thoroughly disappointed, but he does not say anything else.

"anyways, well done today!" naoya continues, grinning as he crosses his arms. "you earned a lot of money for us."

toji glares at him, dropping his arm and taking a step back. somehow, being further in his cell is much more comforting than being in their line of sight. he keeps his lips tightly shut.

naoya's voice turns taunting as naobito heads off without another word. "such a shame my dear cousin wasn't born normal like the rest of us." he follows his father without a care in the world, knowing how well his words sting. "had to be born an animal freak."

the hallways is empty. toji takes a few steadying breaths, pushing the anger away because he knows that there is truly no point in keeping it. it's not like this anger has done him any good. maybe if he had gotten angry earlier, he would have zenin blood on his hands—the thought gives him a sick sense of satisfaction.

"your family fucking sucks…" sukuna pipes up from across the hall. toji scoffs out a laugh, but it is far from amused. he turns away.

suddenly the blood on his hands makes him feel disgusting—so much more animalistic than human.

"tell me about it," he mutters, back turned. his ears pick up the sounds of sukuna curling up in his corner, and in a few minutes, quiet rumbling snores follow.

toji sighs, approaching his sink and staring at the cracked mirror he's grown used to seeing himself in. he takes in his reflection, disgust rolling in his stomach.

he thinks he'd probably be considered decently attractive if he was a regular old human. but the dark furry ears, the sharp canines, and all the scars ruin him. adding his haggard clothing and feral eyes and all the blood and dirt on him, he can understand why he is considered so untouchable.

an animal in every right.

he turns the sink on. he is briefly reminded of another time, a time where he lived in a family house and slept in a futon that was warmer than anything he's ever slept in. he can remember wearing things other than rags, occasionally a yukata and other times a t-shirt. he can remember eating a home cooked meal and drinking sake and feeling sunlight on his skin.

and yet even in those better times, he has always had to hear the words of his family cursing his existence. cursing his mother's name for seducing his father and ruining their bloodline with her animal blood.

the only dark stain on the pristine zenin family.

toji sighs, scrubbing the blood from under his claws—like clockwork. the water in the sink turns a mocking shade of pink, and as horrible as it is to say, toji is glad the blood is not his.

he wipes his paws across his ragged clothes, and stares at himself in the mirror.

he isn't ashamed to admit it—but he hates what he sees.

naoya's laughter rings in his ears as he shuts his eyes.

"hey toji?"

his eyes snap open. when the haze clears he sees your features come into focus, soft and curious. your scent floods his nose, and a pleasant shiver runs up his skin. there is a quick sense of relief when he realizes that he had been dreaming of a time in the past, and he steels himself, expression indifferent as he sits up. he briefly recognizes the stark contrast between the hardness of the stone floor in his cell and the softness of your couch—his tongue sits heavy in his mouth.

"what?" he grunts, rubbing at his eyes. he tries to throw you a mock irritated glance, but either it comes off too mild or you've become good at ignoring it. "when'd you get here?"

"a few minutes ago. i got takeout." your lips pull into a teasing smile. "unless you'd rather go back to sleep?"

he pins you with a scathing glare, and annoyingly enough, your smile becomes wider. he stands up, popping his joints and following you to your kitchen table, before diligently taking a seat—in his chair.

toji silently watches you bustle around, grabbing utensils and plates to evenly distribute the food. his stomach growls eagerly, and he realizes just how hungry he is—he recognizes that his body is getting used to being fed so often, and he does not know how to feel about that.

toji's eyes zero in on silly details, not knowing why he does it. your hair is a little messy, not as neat as when you left for work that morning. you've taken off your jacket, the absence of the restrictive fabric making your movements easier. he thinks you've probably had a good day, because your expression, though fatigued, is still relaxed—a small, almost miniscule smile remains on your face.

there a strange satisfaction the settles in his chest when he notices that. he doesn't know why, but the idea that you've had a nice day rather than a difficult one puts him at ease.

"how was your day?" you speak up, briefly making eye contact with him.

(toji does not understand why the small contact makes his stomach flip.)

he grunts, nonchalant. "not bad. didn't do much."

"the injuries are good?"

toji rolls his eyes, dropping his chin into his palm as he pins you with an intrusive stare. "yeah yeah. you ask this every day."

"well it can be good one day and not good the next," you reply defensively, frowning at the chicken you're currently dropping into his plate. but you look satisfied to hear his answer.

toji chuckles mutely. "sure kid."

(the nickname came randomly. you never commented on it. he didn't either.)

he hesitates for a second, before clearing his throat. "how was yours?"

you glance up at him, too quick for him to analyze the expression, but he thinks he catches a faint trace of pleasant surprise. "it was good. boring but not bad at all."

he nods awkwardly—the internal satisfaction grows stronger. his stomach rumbles again as you walk over and place his plate in front of him, and the smell hits his nose immediately—his hunger is all consuming.

(your scent is one of the few human scents he has truly found pleasant.)

and yet he finds himself patiently waiting until you plate your own food, sitting across him quietly. he presses his hands together, bowing his head as he mutters a quiet "thank you for the food" before tucking in.

(he does not say your name, but he thinks he is thanking you—his own twisted version of a god.)

he stays quiet for most of the meal, focusing on the unique and savory taste of the food. months ago he would not have imagined being able to consume such delicacy, but all you have done since you walked into his life is show him that he can have much more than he ever dreamed he could.

you blabber about random things as you eat, telling him about something you saw or what you did throughout the day. he listens.

you're in the middle of updating him about some stupid work drama, which, as embarrassing as it is to say, toji has been looking forward to hearing about. he does not interrupt you, trying to rack his brain for all the details you've spilled the last time.

(it's pathetic how quick he finds them. something about listening to you talk that makes everything else seem useless in comparison.)

"so anyways her husband found out and got mad. but then she basically tried to deny it and said that he was accusing her of nothing." you shove a mouthful of rice into your mouth, rolling your eyes. your tongue flicks out to lick at your lips—toji's eyes shamefully trace the movement. "it's a whole thing now because obviously the dude she was having the affair with works with us too."

"what a bitch," toji answers. your eyes crinkle with amusement, eager to hear him participating. you've probably since realized that he does find your gossip interesting. but it's more than that—he does not know why it's so easy to talk to you.

"right? i hate cheaters," you mutter, stabbing at your chicken.

he does too. something about being a dog that makes loyalty so damn important to him.

(maybe that's why he feels physically ill when he thinks about leaving your side.)

you continue rambling about your cheating coworker with a newfound conviction. toji listens, occasionally dropping a dry remark, and you either laugh or nod emphatically. his lips quirk upward at every reaction. he continues eating his food—slowly so that he can match your pace. which is odd, because he was so damn hungry before.

but even as he quietly chews on the flavored meat, he finds that satiety comes a lot quicker when he quietly listens to you talk.

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[thesensteawitch]

IF YOU WERE A MUSE TO A POET 🍁💌

~This Is What They Would Tell You!

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!💖

I hope you're doing well. Here's a collective reading about what a poet would tell you if you were their muse! ✨

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND PICK YOUR PILE INTUITIVELY.

In case you would like to BOOK A READING with me then I am sharing the links below for the same.

BOOKING FORM 💌

RATE CARD $$$

You can also DM me in case of any query.🫶🏻

***

Pile 1

You have so many sides to you, and yet you hold space for more. I am directionless. Where should I lead this poem about you? Or where are you leading me? There’s so much to you that I want to express, but I fear I’ll end up looking like a fool. You’re like the universe—mesmerizing, intriguing, and frightening, with layers and layers of mysteries. You are divine to me. Being a poet feels like a boon when I look at you. Only fated souls get to write about someone so infinitely charming. I sense the never-ending wisdom you hold. I’d forever be your devotee if you’d let me drink just one drop of what keeps you glowing like you do. You’re sharp, kind, wild, and a dream that only slips away. Where are you looking? What inspiration do you need? Come on! You walk to your own rhythm, your shadows delightfully dancing to your beat. The sound of your steps tells me stories of places you’ve been and people you’ve met. You hold no regret, no grudge—only lessons. You think, reflect, and cry for being mistreated. But when it’s your turn, you choose to destroy the weapons that bruised you so deeply, instead of hurting others with them. The venom couldn’t kill you but made you wise. Following your footprints, I find the earth swallowing the shed skin of your old self. How can I define you when you’re constantly transforming? Every time I think I have finally known you, I find something new revealed. My hands fall short of holding your grace, my mind loses the words to portray it. As I said, you’re sharp—you’ll never let me read you. You take me to the end only to throw me into a new beginning. It’s not your fault; I understand that’s who you truly are. Sometimes, while falling asleep, I wonder who would be so lucky to fall in love with you? Or who would you fall in love with? But then again, I don’t feel you’re deprived of love, because YOU ARE love. I look at you the way others look at stars. Everyone attempts to count them at least once in their lifetime but eventually gives up, knowing it’s an attempt they will fail. But I am not tired; I am taking a break. I would like to admire you for now, knowing that maybe I too will never fully know you, but I’ll keep exploring who you are, just like scientists cannot give up on SPACE! Ah! See, I cracked something! Your lover must be someone like you—infinitely charming and holding mysteries as vast.

***

Pile 2

You know what? I am mad at you! Because either you attack or you run away. See? You just revolted back. Or perhaps hid in your closet, knowing that someone knows your little secret. You’re that 22° in astrology. Kill or be killed? You’re neither a prey nor do you need to triumph over someone or something else to keep yourself safe. All I am trying to say is that you’re not meant to just survive; you’re meant to thrive. But hey, I do see your heart. The life around it has withered, and you’re surviving on memories. For how long, may I ask? You’re not a coward; you’re afraid. I heard someone say, “The one who is capable of love is capable of being saved.” At this point, all the love is leaking from the corners of your heart. Make the best use of it, or it’ll go to waste. Life isn’t at the extremes; it’s in the middle. That’s where you find your balance. That’s where you will shine bright. I see you singing to yourself, making stories in your heart but never writing them down for the world to taste. You don’t need to say ‘NO’ to something you want. Openly say what you want and to the person who can give it to you. Don’t keep whispering your wishes into the ears of God. He’s even giving you a side-eye now, haha. You’re the leader! If you don’t take the lead, you’ll never have your pack. Do you get it? Why am I even writing about you? It seems to me that you’re an artist too. You know the depths of your pain better than I do. Gosh, you need a hug! Whoever you’ve lost in this physical world doesn’t like to see those tears rolling down your cheeks. Every time you try to make sense of your emotions, you only make your heart heavier. Love keeps dripping and draining into the river of unexpressed emotions. You’re about to be granted a new life, a restart. But this won’t be handed to you until you decide and do what you’re supposed to do. The pain demands to be felt and yada yada yada! We’ve all watched *The Fault in Our Stars*. But come on, there’s an expiry date to feeling it too. I told you, you’re an extreme case. Pain won’t leave you until you leave it. YOU DESERVE THE WORLD. And I know you don’t believe it, but from where I am seeing, all your wishes are about to come true. You’re just ONE decision away. And I am here watching and waiting for you to make that move. Go where your heart is; that’s where you’re supposed to be. Don’t run away from your destiny. Remember, you’re not the same kid who froze at the point of a horrifying sight and couldn’t do anything about it. You’re grown up now. You can HEAL yourself. You’re not hopeless or helpless. You don’t even need to find your potential; it’s just there, waiting for you to see it and accept it.

***

Pile 3

Excuse me, miss/mister? Do you even have time to read what I have to say? You’re too busy figuring things out. Huff! The amount of mental and physical work you do is commendable. Are you waiting for something or someone? I am not surprised to see your spiritual side. What side, huh? You’re SPIRITUAL—IN & OUT! You’re wise, extremely intuitive, and resourceful but haven’t learned how to avoid burnouts. Can something ever be hidden from you? From where I see, it seems you’re new here but not naive. You’ve completed a tough journey filled with passion, rage, excitement, and burnouts (again!). Life has been preparing you for something bigger than your destiny! You’re heavily protected from the forces that don’t want you to be where God is taking you. But we all know who’s more powerful, don’t we? I see you bumping into your past sometimes, but you quickly realize that’s not where you’re supposed to be. The price you would have to pay to return to the same place or people is quite heavy. You don’t feel comfortable in the old stories anymore. You’re grateful but not greedy to go back. I laugh at those who think they can lure you with temptations! Lol! You are ten steps ahead of them. Stay where you are. All this silence around you is a blessing. You’re about to win. You’re meant to win in this lifetime. This is not your first time around. I have seen you somewhere—not here, but in a different lifetime. You’ve lived all those lives to WIN in this one! The smoke of your burned karmas surrounds you. You’ve cleansed! You’re not in the dark; you’re rising from the ashes. I see the wings of a phoenix on your back. YOU’RE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. Evidence of your faith and intuition follows you in the forms of birds, butterflies, feathers, and angel numbers. One day, you may share your story, but you know that day is not today. God, you’re mysterious, and all those stories are tattooed on your skin in a language no one can decipher. Your presence is enough for people to turn around, pause, and reflect. You raise the temperature of the room and melt the ice away. People open up to you naturally. Everyone just wants to experience a drop of you. But you’re not easily accessible. Your magic is sacred and can’t be put on sale. You’re magic. The path you’ve walked on shines so bright. That’s how I trace your past life because you leave glitters behind.

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape - Wedding Pt. 2 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Language, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Anxiety

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: The second part of our wedding... I was reading my doc and figured this part was solid enough to be put into the universe lol. More to come but, once again, I do not know the timeline. I hope this holds you guys enjoy and this holds you over in the meantime! *insert Lil Wayne - Sorry 4 The Wait - here*. I've said it a million times and I will say it a million more, I cannot get my brain to stay in one tense while writing so ignore it the best you can lol. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Epilogue - The Wedding Pt.1

You’re not sure how long you’ve been staring at the dark ceiling when you hear your phone start to vibrate on the side table, causing you to groan. Just because your nerves are keeping you awake doesn’t mean you want to talk to anyone. When you see his name flash across your screen your first reaction is to laugh at his insistence but quickly anxiety washes over you. Every possible thing that could be wrong flashing through your mind as you answer his call.

“Lew?” You croak out, your voice dry in your throat.

“Hey. Shit, I didn’t wake you did I? Just needed to hear your voice and this can’t possibly count as me seeing you before the wedding.” He’s quiet on the other end, probably trying not to wake Miles in the other room.

“No, can’t sleep.” You admit. You’ve thought a few times throughout the night that you should have given in and let him hold you tonight, knowing you more than likely already would have fallen asleep.

“Neither can I, my nerves are going crazy.” He sounds vulnerable and you can’t help but worry.

“Not backing out on me, are you?” You attempt to joke, even though the anxiety is real.

“What? No, baby, never.” He laughs at the absurdity of your question, making you feel that much better, “No, I’m just stressing over the whole thing. Thinking maybe we should have just run away and eloped.”

“We still can.” You giggle, knowing he’s joking but understanding the feeling.

He joins you in your laughter before falling silent. You know he’s too deep in his own thoughts so you let him settle on what he wants to say.

“I’m just worried something will go wrong like the catering will be shit or the decorations won’t be right. I don’t know, I just need it to be perfect for you. Perfect for us.” He finally shares, his voice is tired.

“Lew, the only thing that could possibly ruin tomorrow is if for some reason we legally can’t get married. Even if we end up in a courthouse, I’m ending the day as your wife. Everything else is just an excuse for us to throw a kick ass party.” You try your best to assure him.

His laugh comes through the phone before he lets out a sigh, “You’re right, nothing else matters. This is why I’m marrying you ya’ know.”

“Why? Because I would have said yes even if you proposed with a ring pop?” You tease him, your smile spreading across your face.

“Well that,” He laughs, “but also because with two sentences from you, I’ve felt calmer than I’ve felt since the second I got here to the hotel. You always manage to make everything seem okay and truth be told as long as I have you, it is.”

His words hit you deep, knowing how much he means them.

“You know you’re supposed to save the vows for later, right?” You joke, trying not to choke up, knowing if you’re too sincere with him right now you will end up in tears.

“I love you Y/N.” He says simply, aware you're trying not to get too emotional.

“I love you Lewis. You wanna stay on the phone?” It’s something you’ve done many times while he’s been away and the distance has gotten to be too much. You barely talk, just content in the sound of each other's breathing and the rustle of the others sheets.

“If you don’t mind?” He sounds nervous again, like he feels like he’s asking too much of you.

“Always. Good night Lew, I love you.” You say quietly, settling back into your bed.

“I love you baby.”

You don’t say another word, both falling asleep quickly after your chat. The comfort of each other being all you needed to truly relax.

* * *

Charlotte's soft voice ringing through the room is the first thing you hear as you try to adjust to being awake. The second you start to come into yourself, the nerves come flooding in.

“You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” Charlotte is laughing as you sit up in bed. Your phone is still sitting on top of the comforter next to you, the call now having ended. You can only assume Lewis is already awake and getting ready or his phone died. You can’t help but smile at the memory of your conversation last night, both of you needing a moment of solace within the other.

“What?” You ask groggily, attempting to wipe the sleep from your eyes.

“Well, to start I said Good Morning Ms. Soon to be Hamilton,” She started, her voice much too loud before realizing and quieting right down, “then I told you that hair and makeup are on their way to the venue and the car will be here in about an hour.”

You raised your eyebrows at her as she sat down on the bed.

“I know, I should have woken you up earlier but I heard you talking in here at almost three in the morning, I assume with Lewis, and I wanted you to get some sleep,” She explains softly, putting her hand up to stop you as you go to respond, “there’s a light breakfast here if you want some, but you have plenty of time to shower and grab some food. If you don’t eat now, I’ve already scheduled some food for you at the venue that you can eat while they're doing your hair before you get your makeup done.”

You let out a sigh, thankful that she has thought ahead, you go to thank her but she starts again.

“I’ve already confirmed with four different people at the venue that your dress is there, hair and makeup has a place to set up, your room is on the other side of the building from Lewis so you won’t run into him, and all of the decorations have arrived and are being set up. The only thing you have to do today is let us take care of you, know that Miles and I have everything under control, and get married!” She finishes her spiel with a smirk, knowing that everything she just covered were concerns running through your mind, always proving even further why she was your Maid of Honor.

“Thank you, you are an absolute angel.” You say as you grab her hand.

“I do have to ask, just being nosy,” She starts, laughing gently, “was it Lewis on the phone last night?”

You feel yourself blushing unnecessarily, there being no reason to be embarrassed for talking to the man you are about to marry.

“Yeah, neither of us could sleep, just needed to talk to each other for a second.” You say sheepishly.

“And that right there is why you two are getting married today baby!” She says enthusiastically, once again much louder than you would prefer for the time of day.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” You tell her as you push yourself out of bed, feeling your stomach growl, “food will be there for me?”

She laughs at your need to double check before nodding, “Yes there will, I heard that, you need some food.”

“Leave me alone.” You grumble, laughing softly to yourself too as you stumble to the bathroom.

“You’ve got an hour, let me know if you need anything.” You hear her yell as she makes her way out of your bedroom to let you shower in peace.

It feels like you’ve entered an alternate universe once you are out of the shower. You ended up taking longer than anticipated and were being rushed to get dressed before ushered downstairs and into the back of another town car. Charlotte had a small bag packed for you and said she would take care of your luggage that was still in the room after the wedding, keeping the suite for the bridal party to stay in after the event. 

Your jaw almost dropped when the car finally pulled into the venue. You had been there before, a few times actually, over the last two summer breaks with Lewis, trying to finally decide. But now… now it was snowing, a winter wonderland surrounding the manor that had been deemed a castle by almost everyone around you and you couldn’t help but agree. A castle had been a dream of yours as a kid but never something you found realistic as an adult, safe to say realistic wasn’t in Lewis’ vocabulary when it came to your wedding. You had been watching Downton Abbey for the third time one night and made an offhand joke to Lewis about how you should get married at Highclere Castle, from then on he had made it his mission to find something that fit the bill. His first thought had been the castle itself but it hadn’t been an option, instead he found a place just outside of London that you had never heard of, something your wedding planner had never even seen, it was perfect. It was large and regal but still fit with both of your styles, allowing it to be decorated with a fine line of modernity and tradition. 

When you pulled up to the front door it looked as though you had stepped into a movie, the snow painting the perfect backdrop despite your hesitance. You hadn’t been sure about a winter wedding but Lewis was impatient and winter was his favorite season. He had done so much of what you had dreamed of that you couldn’t help but agree, knowing it didn’t matter when or where you got married, as long as it ended with him.

Charlotte was quickly ushering you and your mother inside and out of the cold. The entrance was bustling with people moving flower arrangements, chairs, tables, everything you had asked for being set up right in front of your eyes. Charlotte was pulling you down the hallway to your left before you had a chance to even take it all in.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m rushing around but you can relax the second we get you into the bridal suite. I promise.” She was apologizing from in front of you while you tried to keep up with her brisk pace, your mom close behind you.

“Are we late?” You couldn’t help but ask, feeling nervous all over again.

“No , we’re perfectly on time, but the damn men are early and I will be damned if Lewis wins and sees you before you’re at the altar.” Her voice is serious and you can’t help but laugh out loud. It truly isn’t that big of a deal to you but the moment you mentioned it being part of the plan Charlotte and Miles made it their top priority for the day of the wedding.

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” You continue to laugh at Charlotte as she slows down once you’ve reached the doors of the suite. Secretly you wouldn’t mind a quick hello, or even just a glimpse at his beautiful face, but she was determined.

“It’s part of the plan therefore we will be sticking to it, everything will be exactly how you want it today.” Her voice is stern before she opens the door to the suite and welcomes you in.

You’re immediately welcomed by the crew you had hired to take care of everyones hair and makeup. You had spent a while choosing the perfect team and had been in touch with them frequently over the last few months and the familiar faces made you excited. Charlotte tells you to take a seat on the plush couch off to the side and makes her way over to talk with the crew, making sure everything is taken care of for you. Your mom comes to join you on the couch, mimosas in hand with a shocked look on her face, acting as if she doesn’t know where they came from. You giggle as you happily take one from her hand while someone sets food on the small table in front of you, immediately reminding you of how hungry you were back at the hotel.

“You should have something to eat, even if it’s just a nibble. You have some time before you need to start getting ready.” Your mom tells you softly, gesturing towards the spread sitting in front of you.

You nod, leaning forward to grab a pastry as you watch Charlotte in amusement, animated as ever while she gets everyone and everything organized. You take a moment to sit in silence, well as silent as it can be with people bustling about, letting yourself take it all in. You continue to eat as much as you feel you can keep down before someone is suggesting you get in your robe. When you come back from the changing room there are many more people in the room, everyone finally arrived and ready to get ready. You had decided to keep the wedding parties small on both sides. You had Charlotte as your maid of honor, your cousin who had become a sister to you over the years, and your childhood best friend. Miles was Lewis’ best man, Nicolas, and Daniel. Your mom was getting ready with you as well as Linda, Carmen and Lewis’ sisters.

As you sat in the chair watching your hair transform, joking and laughing with your stylist Javier, you took in the sight around you through the mirror. Both families and friends blending into one big happy group, laughing together and sharing mimosas. You were thrilled at the thought of everyone becoming one large family, beyond excited for the next chapter of your life.

“Ladies! I need to say something before everyone starts with their makeup,” Charlottes voice commanded the room getting everyone's attention, “thank you! Okay, I just need to start by saying Y/N, I love you so much and I am so beyond thrilled that you are marrying my second best friend,” she sends you a wink as you both laugh with Lewis not even in the room to defend his decade long friendship, “he is like a brother to me and you very quickly became my little sister. That being said, I want to stress to every one that today is supposed to be perfect and WE are going to make sure it is,” her words are firm as she gestures around the room to your bridesmaids, “these two mean the absolute world to me and after everything it took to get them to this point I will not settle for ‘okay’, we’re looking for perfection.”

“Char, it’s-” You try to stop her, feeling like she’s making far too big a deal out of your day.

“Nope, Y/N, let me say this, you deserve it.” She shushes you before continuing, “I want everyone to have an absolute blast but most importantly I NEED Y/N and Lewis to have the best day of their lives. Annoying guest? Figure it out. Issue with the rings? Find me or Miles. Trouble with your dress? Suck it up, today isn’t about us.” Her voice is that of a strict teacher as she lectures your family and friends and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh before the comment about the rings latches on to your brain, “Y/N, babe, I love you so much and I am so happy for you. You are marrying the best human I know, well second to you of course, and I cannot wait to see the life that you two create together, I know it will be magical. Cheers everybody!”

You barely even register the sweet words she directs at you as she finishes her speech, your body working on auto pilot to raise you mimosa for her toast. The moment she sees the look on your face she’s rushing over to you.

“Hon, what’s wrong? You look worried.”

“What’s wrong with the rings? They’re here, right? They look correct? Nothing’s broken? You said there’s a problem with the rings, what's the problem?” You rush out your new concerns, not taking a moment to think once she’s in front of you.

“What? No, no, everything’s fine. Why would there be a problem with the rings?” She asks you confused for a moment before the realization dawns on her face, “Oh sweetie that was just an example, everything is totally fine. It’s exactly like we talked about, I have your band and Miles has Lewis’, I even texted him when we got here to make sure he had it. Do you want to see yours? I have it in my bag, I can go grab it.” Her words of reassurance are rushed as she tries to calm the new anxiety fluttering through your mind.

“No, oh my god, sorry, I just…” You shake your head, wanting to laugh at yourself for becoming so panicked so quickly, “I think my brain just blacked out after I heard ‘issue with the rings’, I don’t know why I let that freak me out so much.”

“It’s okay, you have a lot going on and this is a big deal, don’t worry about it, it’s what I’m here for.” Charlotte calms you, rubbing your forearm as she squats in front of your chair.

“Alright beautiful bride! Ready to make that gorgeous face even better?” Javier’s voice comes excitedly from behind you, rubbing your shoulders as he tries to coax you to turn around so he can start on your makeup.

You take a deep breath, the reality of the day settling into the pit of your stomach, before turning around, ready to be transformed. You’ve had him do this look on you numerous times, wanting to make sure it was exactly what you wanted and you trust his skills, but still the underlying anxiety refuses to leave you. You had opted for a more natural look, similar to what you would do on the day to day but elevated, you wanted to look like yourself, like the you that Lewis fell in love with. As you sat in the chair being pampered, listening to people bustle around behind you, a billion new scary thoughts and anxieties swarmed through your head.

You know you’re making the right choice, there is no one in the universe better made for you than Lewis and no one who you could love or love you more than him. You know everything is taken care of and planned to your liking, but you didn’t place each flower or taste every dish prepared today. You know all of the most important people in your life RSVP’d yes, but you haven’t laid eyes on them today, you don’t know if they’ve arrived on time. Every single detail that has been a stress in the back of your mind for the last year has now become the only thing you can think about. You’re trying so hard to let them slip to the background, to stay in the moment, enjoy the laughter of your bridal party and the random chatter from Javier, but it doesn’t work.

Your mom is the first to notice, seeing you with a furrowed brow and your eyes shut tight as Javier steps away to grab something.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She asks quietly, her hand resting on your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

The sound of her voice almost brings you to tears and you can’t quite explain why. You look at her through the mirror, noticing the deep concern on her face.

“Everyone wants it to be so perfect, what if it isn’t? I asked everyone to travel so far and what if it lets them down. The Hamilton wedding is supposed to be THE event, what if it’s not right or something goes wrong or it isn’t what people were expecting?” You ramble so quietly you’re worried she won’t be able to hear you.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” She says through a pout, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and meeting you cheek to cheek, “not an ounce of what you just said matters, I know you’re nervous but don’t stress yourself. Today is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, not because of how fancy it is or what caterer you hired, but because you are marrying a man that will love you, protect you, and take care of you for the rest of your life. I know that it feels like it’s all about the party and the flair, but today you are taking a step for you and Lewis and that is all that matters, you are building your life with an amazing man who would move mountains for you and that is all that matters. All you have to worry about is making it to the end of the aisle, saying I Do, and kissing your husband. We’re all just lucky that we get to witness it.”

“Fuck,” you breathe out with a dry laugh, “you’re right. It’s just so much.”

“Just keep reminding yourself that that beautiful man is going to be legally yours till death do you part.” She laughs before kissing your cheek, lightening your mood as you picture his perfect face. While her words do ease your nerves a new very important thought pops into your head, a new non-negotiable.

“Charlotte.” You call out urgently, aware of your time crunch.

“I’m here, what do you need?” She asks quickly, rushing to your side like a lady in wait.

“Lewis,” You start, watching as her eyebrows shoot up in a disapproving look, “no I know, I won’t look at him or let him look at me, I just need to squeeze his hand and hear his voice, I promise.”

She still doesn’t look quite convinced as you plead with her, “Y/N, no seeing Lewis was a very hard rule from day one of wedding planning. Are you sure?”

“Char, please, figure out a way so I don’t see him, we’ll stick to the rules but he’s been there to calm me down and make sure I’m okay for every major thing in my life for a more than half a decade and I don’t know about you but I’d say this is a pretty major thing! It won’t be any worse than me talking to him last night, I swear.” You plead with her, grabbing her hands, suddenly very set on needing to at least speak to Lewis before walking down the aisle.

“Okay, okay, yes, I will make it happen, but before you get into your dress, just in case, gimme a sec.” She agrees as her face softens, seeing your desperation, realizing that she too would need Lewis for a moment before something this big. He may be your lover, your fiance, the man you are about to spend the rest of your life with, but at the core he is your best friend, the man that has been there for you since you showed up at game night years ago, your other half.

Charlotte quickly leaves the room after squeezing your hand and telling Javier he can start working again. You assume she’s headed to find Miles, or she’s gone straight to Lewis. You start to get anxious yet again that you may be causing Lewis anxiety, you should have told her to tell him that you’re fine and just being selfish, remembering the moment of fear you had last night when he had called you.

You’re not sure how long it takes her but once your makeup is finished she has returned and is requesting for you to follow her. You feel silly walking out of the suite with pinned hair and your robe on but all you can think about is talking to Lewis, eager to hear his voice as if you’ve just started dating. Charlotte ushers you down a hallway to an empty room with a door on the other side. You’re far enough away from everyone that the noise has quieted and you can subsequently feel your brain calming down, realizing just how overstimulated you’ve been for the last few hours. Charlotte guides you to the far wall of the room, next to the door frame, turning you to back up against it before gently knocking on the door. It takes only a second for the door to open, Miles’ smiling face appearing next to you.

“Well hello beauty, you look fucking incredible.” He says before leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“It’s not fair that I don’t get to see her.” You hear your fiance whine from the other side of the wall, making you giggle and your cheeks warm.

“All in due time brother, you’re the lucky one though, you get to see her at the altar.” Miles says teasingly, leaning back through the door to look at Lewis before coming back to you, “So I have your fiance here as requested. Char and I will give you guys some privacy.”

“Thank you Miles, I’m sorry if this is a pain, I just needed a minute.” You tell him, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

Before he can respond, Miles is bursting out into a laugh, “Love, this was a help on my end, mans has been so annoyed that he hasn’t been allowed to see you all day, he hasn’t shut up about you once. Enjoy, you evidently both need it.” He says as his laughter begins to die down, sending a disapproving look into the room behind you where you assume Lewis is giving him the same back. “You guys have five minutes, and absolutely no peeking.”

“We won’t.” You and Lewis both promise in unison, making both of you giggle as Charlotte and Miles walk away to another room to give you your privacy.

“I mean it!” Miles turns around to yell, still walking backwards as he points his finger at you, “ I will know just by the look on bruvs face if he caught a glimpse of you, don’t you dare.”

“We’ll be good, I promise. Thank you guys!” You yell back at him as they disappear through a nearby door.

“Hey you.” You hear Lewis’ soft voice after a moment, your heart swelling just upon hearing the recognizable timbre.

“Hi.” You squeak, forgetting everything you had wanted to say when you asked Charlotte to make this happen.

“Are you okay?” He asks you, his voice filled with concern and care.

“Yes, oh my god yes,” You start, your anxiety of concerning him coming back tenfold, “I’m so sorry, I just, I don’t know, I was getting really anxious and then I realized that I haven’t had a big moment in life without you either being right there or calling me for like more than five years and then I got worried that I wouldn’t make it through something like this without talking to you first, which is silly because I know I’m literally preparing myself to marry you, like I’m going to see you at the altar in like an hour but I don’t know, my mom said all this stuff about how amazing you are trying to calm my nerves and then I realized I absolutely had to at least talk to you and I’m sorry if you were busy, I’m not trying to be needy, you just calm me and this day is so much and there's so much going on and it has to be perfect and-” Your words are rushed, not thinking them through as you ramble to him, not stopping to even take a breath.

“Y/N,” Lewis cuts you off, his voice firm but gentle, “it’s okay, please take a breath.”

You drop your head, almost embarrassed by how calm he sounds with the emotions swirling around in your head at the moment. You listen to his request and take a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing and your mind.

“Good, now another.” He instructs you calmly as you feel his hand sneak around the door frame and brush your hip.

The moment you see his skin you reach down and grasp his hand firmly, needing him to ground you as you take yet another deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you squeeze his hand, trying to breathe like he wants you to.

“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” He starts softly, squeezing your hand just as firmly, “I know this whole thing is a lot and there’s so much going on, but none of that is important. I don’t give a fuck how anything goes as long as I get to end the night married to you, that’s all that matters today,” His voice is soft as he assures you, washing over you like a warm blanket before it turns cheeky as he adds, “well I also want to see you in that dress and obviously whatever you have underneath it.”

You want to laugh and cry at the same time, amused by how easily a stupid (yet serious) comment could lift your spirits, simply because it came from him. Amazed that the same sentiment that has been spoken to you by everyone around you with no avail, could take a burden off your chest simply because they came from his mouth.

“I love you so much Lew.” You reply, squeezing his hand so hard you’re worried you’ll hurt him, trying to fight back tears as you do.

“I love you so much my sweet girl and I will tell you just how much when you meet me at the altar. You’ve changed my life, you’ve made me a better man, a better human, you’ve made me happier than I knew was even possible and I want nothing more than to marry you today. I don’t care how that happens, if you want to run away right now and head to vegas we can, at the end of the day I just want you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and nothing matters besides us. This whole castle could burn down right now and as long as I still had you I truly would not care. I love you so much and today is going to be incredible no matter what happens, but I bet you nothing will go wrong because we planned it and we’re pretty amazing.” He sealed his words with a kiss to the back of your hand, chuckling as he finished. His lips on your skin gave you a whole new sense of confidence and ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach.

You wished so badly that you could see him, that you could properly kiss him, but you reminded yourself that you were close to the finish line, that he would be all yours soon.

“I love you too, so so much, thank you for this, I’m sorry if I interrupted, I just needed to hear your voice and be close to you.” You admit to him with a sigh as you lean back against the wall.

“You’re never an interruption, whenever you need me I’m here, always. Besides, Miles wasn’t lying, I’ve been going crazy since we left the rehearsal dinner wanting to see you, touch you, kiss you, talk to you, literally anything. I know we’ve gone weeks apart from each other but everything feels different right now.” He tells you, making you smile, that you're not completely alone in your desperation. You take a moment, leaning against the wall in silence as you hold his hand, letting your nerves wash away.

“Alright, love birds! Time to go get fancy and hit the altar!” Miles’ voice cuts through your moment as he hollers and claps, returning to the room.

You let out a sigh, wishing your moment with Lewis could continue but reluctantly begin to move away from the wall. Before you can get too far, he is gripping your hand and pulling you back to place a kiss on your hand before leaving a lingering kiss on your pulse point.

“I love you Y/N, just come meet me at the altar. Nothing else matters.” His words are muttered into the skin of your wrist before he finally lets you go and Charlotte is ushering you away back to your suite as Miles stands guard making sure Lewis doesn’t cheat and sneak a peek at you.

“Feeling better?” Char asks as you make your way down the hall.

“So much better, I feel perfect.” You say through a smile, meaning it wholeheartedly, “ I’M GETTING MARRIED!”

[varpusvaras]

They don't sleep during the first night.

They have turns resting. General Kenobi stays up first, after Fox has managed to get Leia to sleep. Fox lays down next to Leia on the one bed in the small house and he closes his eyes.

He doses off, free of nightmares for the first time since leaving. Maybe it's because of the presence of a Jedi, Fox doesn't know. He's thankful for it anyway.

Then it's his turn, and General Kenobi sits on the floor next to the bed and closes his eyes, and he stays very still until the suns start to rise.

Then Leia wakes up, and Fox feeds her after General Kenobi has made them breakfast, and then they wait.

No one comes.

Fox plays with Leia. Feeds her again. Puts her down for a nap. He checks his communicator. It's silent.

Leia wakes up. Fox plays with her while General Kenobi makes then dinner. Fox feeds her and forces his own meal down. He cannot afford not to eat, no matter how tight his insides feel and how little appetite he has.

Fox puts Leia to bed. She is also calmer here than she had been in the ship. That makes Fox suspect even more that General Kenobi has something to do with it.

Fox doesn't ask.

Leia falls asleep, and Fox sits there, at the edge of the bed, and stares at the window.

The desert has cooled down by now, but it still feels like the heat is lingering inside. An invisible, uncomfortable force, pressing down on Fox's skin, and he cannot escape it anywhere.

The desert around them is quiet. Leia sleeps peacefully next to him.

Fox is just waiting for the door to be shot down and for the Empire to come flooding in like a rush of red, hot blood.

General Kenobi breaks the silence first.

"I noticed the glow last night", he says, and points at his neck when Fox turns to look at him.

"Yes", Fox says. "It's difficult to conceal, even with extensive bacta treatments, since it is so close to skin and bone."

General Kenobi hums quietly.

"Is that how you survived?" He asks then.

Fox thinks briefly of the pain and the numbness, of his body being kept alive for him, of the crunch of his bones as they had been broken and then set again, and of the weightless hours spend submerged.

"Yes", he answers.

General Kenobi nods. They don't talk more of it.

"You didn't say how they found out", he says.

"I am not sure", Fox tells him. "But they knew where to come to look for her, so they must've found out that Bail was there when she died."

General Kenobi leans his jaw against his hand as he thinks.

"We don't know if they know about both of them, then", he says. "Or just about her."

"If they know about them both", Fox says, "and located only one child on Alderaan, they most likely think that the boy is with you."

General Kenobi nods again.

"So they would have to find me first", he murmurs. He looks out of the window, towards the silent dunes.

Fox looks at Leia.

"Do they live close by?" He asks.

"Relatively", General Kenobi answers. "Distances on Tatooine are long, even the shorter ones. But they could very quickly trace my location to theirs."

"It's too risky for us to be here, then", Fox says.

Leia is his priority. Fox would do anything for her. But he cannot put her brother in danger, either, to keep her safe. It's not fair.

Has anything ever been, though?

General Kenobi turns to look at him.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" He asks. He sounds like he already knows the answer.

Fox shakes his head.

"Then, for the time being", General Kenobi says, "this is the safest place for us all."

He sounds gently confident, like he is trying to reassure Fox of the truth of his words.

Fox has no other options than to believe him right now.

Leia sniffles, and her face scrunches up slightly. Fox runs his finger over the bridge of her nose, until she calms back down.

General Kenobi is watching them when Fox turns back towards him.

"Go to sleep, Commander", he says. "I'll take the first watch."

"Just Fox, please", Fox says. He is not a Commander anymore, after all. Just Fox.

"Alright", General Kenobi says. "I'm just Ben, now."

Fox doesn't think the name really suits the General.

Perhaps he can sense Fox's thoughts, because he smiles slightly.

"Things change, don't they?" He says. "Now, please. Go to sleep, Fox."

Fox doesn't argue with him. He lays down next to Leia, and when she wriggles a bit, he strokes her short, soft hair gently, until she settles once again.

Then Fox closes his eyes and falls into a dreamless sleep.

[natsuki208]

The Almost Cat-astrophe! 🐾

The story of how Sebastian discovered baby Ciel’s developed cat allergies.

———

It’s bitter cold outside but inside of the Phantomhive manor is cozy warm. Perfect timing for the growing heir’s first birthday.

Everyone of the servants are gathered within the main room; preparing food for the dinner later, and listening in on the baby’s tiny laughter. His new father, Sebastian Michaelis, is the one who cannot stop smiling - for the past six months have been warming him up to this very moment more than the fireplace.

It’s also probably because he’s ready to give his own present to his child, for the more presents the baby receives, the more impatient Sebastian subtly gets (even though he suggested to save the best for last). After one new pair of unfitting footwear, it’s finally Sebastian’s turn even though the little one sitting on his leg begins to tilt sleepily.

“Now don’t fall asleep yet, Ciel.” He speaks softly. “Papa still has something special for you.”

The man gently places his child on the sofa and stands up to get his gift; no longer being in his father’s arms widens his eyes immediately. It doesn’t take long for Sebastian to turn back around holding a box twice the size of Ciel, this grabs everyone else’s attention as their temporal master slowly takes off the lid with a smile.

Inch by inch, the box begins to move. The sight of fur becomes very clear to the others in the room, along with sky blue eyes peering out, the color of light and dark grey stripes pop out and the tiniest sound ever heard spills out:

Meww.

A kitten. A four week old kitten the size of a full-grown hand peaks its head over the top to look at the baby in front. Ciel spreads a little smile as soon as he sees it, clapping his hands as to pet it himself. Both little ones take a liking to one another already with one purring and the other patting repeatedly while giggling. Sebastian though feels much happier than the two combined and Tanaka, the butler standing next to him, can read him like an open book.

“I’m not too sure whom the kitten is suppose to please here.” He jokingly comments, keeping his laughter to himself.

Sebastian of course notices this. “Really. Well you can’t blame me for how precious they are.”

Little Ciel starts whimpering when his father pulls the kitten back towards him for a moment to get a better look at all the features.

“Look at her. Those innocent eyes, the softness to her fur, how plump her paw pads are and her elegant sounds that’s enough to put my child at ease. She’s perfect.”

Suddenly the whimpering gets a little louder, accompanied by the tugging on his sleeve, which is enough to bring Sebastian’s focus back onto Ciel. The realisation dawns on him and gently picks him up with his free arm.

“Oh. Of course I cannot forget you, bluebird.” The smile grows bigger by looking at those big, sapphire eyes again. Having both a tiny kitten and the only tolerable human to him close manages to bring HIM to ease, which use to be very rare in mundane scenarios such as today. “I’m sure you and Lady will go swell together.”

Oh yeah. He gave her such a sophisticated name for such a small feline (he was gonna go for Lilith or Lamia but it was too on the nose for him).

Tanaka gives another smile after hearing such amusing words coming from usually a calm and collected person (but is well aware how his behaviour can change around the little one) and he continues to view them with pride.

“If you say so, sir. Ho, ho.”

-

A few days have gone by and they felt like a dream to the normally practical demon like Sebastian. Who can blame him for now looking after two adorable pint-size creatures in his new life? Whenever they are around for asleep in his arms, it puts him in a mellow mood - dare he say it’s as pleasant as most worthless human souls.

His mind cannot focus on anything else right now but those cuties, not even whilst he’s suppose to go over some paperwork sent to him by the Queen herself. Such bothering work does not entertain him in the slightest, he’ll gladly admit it’s not the thing he signed up for when becoming Ciel’s new father but it must be done nonetheless.

“How tiresome.” Sebastian sighs, plopping the papers on the old desk.

The need for entertainment rises as he grows ever more unmotivated to finish it swiftly, and just from looking at it too. Then it pins to him, of course he’s gonna pay a quick visit to the nursery to see the precious pair again - it may be during Ciel’s nap time but still.

Sebastian slowly opens the office door and glances around for any witnesses, gladly nobody is present which releases a soft breath from the demon. He’s now standing outside the nursery and is just about to grab the handle when… he hears crying.

This is definitely not good. It sounds more chesty than usual which makes it worse. Sebastian hurries in fast and immediately sees what’s wrong; the wailing baby in the crib is coughing between cries, a runny nose and has small red spots planted on his cheeks. He cannot open his eyes due to tears but does his little grabby hands for whoever he thinks is in the room. The demon doesn’t hesitate to answer his gesture and picks him up, this gives him the chance to better check the sudden aching changes.

“Goodness, Ciel! What happened?!” The baby continues crying breathily. He is worried, actually worried. How rare for him to feel yet another common and strong emotion, especially towards a human.

Is it a cold? No it can’t be. Ciel never grew red spots like this before. He looks at every corner of the nursery to find some form of evidence for this calamity. That’s when he hears it; the small adoring sound from near his foot:

Meww.

Little Lady is innocently pawing at her favourite toy, jumping at it every time it got away from her, even if it’s cute it raises questions. She couldn’t have scratched him on accident, did she?… No! There’s no possible way that Lady can be possible for such a horrendous deed, nor does Sebastian ever want to suspect her either.

Suddenly, a knock at the door pipes up. Who else but Tanaka is currently standing by politely, and he immediately notices something is not right while seeing Sebastian’s troubled expression.

“Whatever is the matter in here, sir?” He asks. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“I… was indeed working until…” This is no time to give away that he grew bored of the assignments, the sick Ciel is whom he cares for right now. “Something is wrong with Ciel and it doesn’t appear to be yet another cold.”

It must be serious if even Tanaka grows cautious of what has happened to the young heir. The butler requests if he can call over a doctor for assistance, Sebastian agrees and off both men head for downstairs; Lady is obviously taking down with them too because Sebastian.

-

It didn’t take long for a doctor to get here; but sadly Angelina aka Madame Red was the only one available at this hour. It took even longer to persuade Sebastian to lend Ciel over to her for examination, luckily Lady can calm him down during this dreadful situation. As he sits alone (minus Tanaka nearby) he gently plays with the tabby kitten and her tiny meows are like music to his ears, not to mention her soft nature while purring and rolling over on his lap just lifts his mood a teensy bit.

But it isn’t enough to bring his mind out of this current state of worry he’s trapped in. Sure, there were moments in his past contracts over the centuries when he felt some form of concern for his masters, but it only lasted temporarily and he never gave it a good thinking. Today however actually got to him; he’s already grown really attached to his new son so it shouldn’t be a surprise… but it is.

A few more minutes pass by until there’s a knock on the door, Sebastian tells Tanaka to answer it for him which he kindly does. Words of knowledge are shared, heads nod and a silent glare peeked over at Sebastian in the distance. Once that was taking care of, the butler proceeds to spread the information to him with a relieved smile.

“Good news, Sebastian - it’s nothing serious.”

Just a few words relaxes Sebastian firmly. “Well, that’s quite a relief. Would you mind telling me what it was then?”

Tanaka clears his throat before answering, losing that smile and looking down at Lady in Sebastian’s hands (not really a good sign).

“I’m afraid… it turns out Ciel has developed a allergy… towards cats.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen in genuine surprise. Not with the fact that Lady really was responsible, but due to the fact he doesn’t have full knowledge on something like allergies. He has heard of the word before and knows it mainly applies with certain foods, but animals as well? He honestly had no idea.

“Do tell, Tanaka. I don’t quite follow.”

“It simply means the fur is harmful and can cause one to gain a rash as we’ve seen on his skin. But don’t fret, the boy received some medicine and is sound asleep, so he’ll recover very soon indeed.”

While good news, Sebastian can’t help but sadden at the fact that is pointed out next.

“But I apologise for this dearly when I say we’ve been informed to keep felines out of the mansion.”

There it is. As it does break Sebastian to see his child sick AND to now give away such a cute little kitten which was a gift to said child, he eventually accepts what must be done and silently agrees, keeping those feelings to himself.

“If it’s what must be done to keep him safe… I’ll allow you to find a more suitable home for Lady. Be sure that it’s a sensible one as well.” He informs regrettably.

“Yes. Of course, sir.”

Whilst Tanaka takes away the now sorrowful kitten, squeakily meowing non-stop, Sebastian is allowed to check up on the sleepy Ciel in the bedroom. Thank satan that the rashes have toned down along with the redness, although he occasionally sneezed during his slumber (but it didn’t wake him up) and all Sebastian can do is gaze down at him, stroking his hair softly. It’s a shame the young Lady couldn’t stay around as he had hoped, but human nature can be torturing, and as long as Ciel is safe once more he’ll eventually move on and wish luck for her.

Even after the unfortunate event has cleared up, it was still an intriguing experience in its own way.

[thebibliosphere]

Hey Joy, this isn't a question so much as a way for me to convince myself I'm not a hypochondriac, lol. Lately, I've been experiencing symptoms of fatigue, brain fog or memory issues, light-headedness, etc, that are uncommon for my age (30). I have related disorders such as anemia, anxiety, & ADHD that may be contributing to these symptoms, although they seem to have gotten worse or appear more frequently now than when I was initially diagnosed with those disorders. My work allows me to read & interact with disabled people with rare diseases, so I often find similarities with their medical issues. At first, I thought this was all just burnout or something related to the lockdown during COVID. I just saw my doctor and had blood work done to check my levels, and I may have a heart condition (tachycardia, mitral valve prolapse). I've fallen asleep at work before because I can't keep my eyes open, even after a full 8 hours of sleep. I can get dizzy from standing up too fast & can't seem to be on my feet for very long without discomfort & pain (I used to work retail, how did I ever do it?). I've researched some of my symptoms and found ME/CFS and POTS as possible conditions. Do you think it's a possibility I have these, or is it just my anxiety? Thank you! (P.s. Hunger Pangs is on my tbr!)

I obviously cannot tell you with any certainty what is wrong--and I am glad you are seeing doctors about it already and may have possible answers wrt tachycardia and the mitral valve.

What I will say is that there are many types of dysautonomia, of which POTS is one, and that what you are describing sounds very familiar to me as someone with two known types of dysautonomia.

The fact that this is hampering your quality of life to the point where you fall asleep at work, are unable to stand without getting dizzy, and are experiencing chronic pain, is enough of a reason to pursue further testing for things like dysautonomia and, yes, possibly even ME/CFS though given your history of anemia, I'm inclined more toward dysautonomia because the two often go hand in hand.

Also, it is normal to feel anxiety experiencing these types of symptoms. Even if it turns out to be a symptom of your anxiety, doesn't make the experiences any less real and debilitating, and you deserve treatment that will help improve your quality and comfort of life. And there is treatment and things you can do that will make you feel better. Getting your anemia under control should be a top priority if it isn't already. Mines was allowed to go untreated for years until we found out my iron anemia was being caused by pernicious anemia (b12 deficiency), and the iron anemia I'd been plagued with since birth suddenly cleared up.

Years and years of blood transfusions and infusion treatments, and the whole time I needed b12. Who knew? Certainly not my old doctors.

Anyway. If your symptoms are at the point where you are recognizing yourself in things like POTS? It's time to pursue that with your doctor. Don't put it off because you think it's not that bad or others have it worse. Everyone deserves to feel well.

Good luck.

[too-much-otome]

Belphegor Playlist

Link

I hope you guys like this. Belphie was the second character I made a playlist for so I've had his ready for a long time before I refined it. I hope it's good!

Explanations (Excluding Character Songs):

Killer In The Mirror - Set It Off

I've always connected this song with Belphie! For years! It just sounds like his whole arc! From being locked in the attic and meeting MC to breaking out and killing MC. Feeling betrayed by his brothers and being backstbbed by Lucifer! I will never let this go! "There's nobody but me here" "now I know there's no one I can trust. I used to think there was"

Happy Pills - Weathers

Kinda gives off that slightly unhinged and crazed side of Belphie we all know and love while also keeping a slightly mellow mood for most of the song.

Oblivion - Grimes

Another song that gives off slightly crazed vibes but also kinda a revenge song which is a big thing for Belphie and how he feels towards Lucifer or how he felt towards humans before MC.

Young And Menace - Fall Out Boy

Okay, I wasn't sure about it at first but I think it fits well. It's also just a really good song, don't @ me. It talks about madness and going crazy a lot and it sounds like something that fits Belphie's personality, even if it's a bit hard hitting.

Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People

I know this is more for.... something else but I still think it fits. You can think of the chorus and how it's about someone on the prowl. I cannot stop my serial killer Belphie agenda, I'm sorry, I love him I promise!

I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

He's really not and neither are we but that's okay. (You know damn well he love emo music)

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

He's definitely a wolf in sheep's Clothing. Also, I've always connected him with sheep. I know that's MCs thing but I can't help it! It's also a song filled with rage like our beloved Avatar of Sloth.

Jenny Was A Friend - The Killers

Literally a song about accidentally killing a lover. Also based off a crime from the 80's but anyways.

don't fall asleep yet - Powfu

I know Belphie would definitely prefer to fall asleep than stay awake but I can't help connecting him with this song and the soft, slow, smooth vibe is very much him.

Monster - Skillet

As much as we've talked about Belphie and his murderous intent, he very clearly has guilt from it. I'm a firm believer of the opinion that he even has immense trauma from it. I think for a long long time after the incident that he hated himself and what he did. Not only because of MC, but because it fractured his relationships with his brothers.

i'll die anyway - girl in red

a song about the past being good but losing touch with themself over the years and becoming emotionally numb but also still feeling lonely. I think this speaks to Belphie, especially since we saw a lot how much he changed after both losing Lilith and being locked in the attic.

Can't Go to Hell - Sin Shake Sin

I just think it fits well and while it's not exactly connected lyrically, I think the sound of it is very much Belphie's vibe and something he'd listen to.

REVIVED - Derivakat

Revenge and return. very much reminds me of the entire scene of Belphie breaking out of the attic. From revealing he played MC to taunting and mocking his brothers over their shock and horror after he kills MC. The lyrics all just remind me of Belphie. It even mentions being locked away.

8 Legged Dreams - Unlike Pluto

Talk of nightmares but the lyrics also read like the singer is trying to help someone sleep or ease them into it which is obviously one of Belphie's powers as the Avatar of Sloth.

Backstabber - Kesha

Self explanatory

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

It's so him. Very soft and mellow. You also can't convince me Belphie isn't a sweater boy. He even wears one in both his casual clothes and his demon form. It's very much him.

[yanderepuck]

Can we please get a similar one of the arthur x self harm reader with maybe Shakespeare or comte (you choose)

I HAVE NO CLUE WHY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. I think it sorta got lost in my inbox.

If you want to read the Arthur one is right here

ANYWAY!!! As I say with all of these depressing fics.. I HIGHLY APPRECIATE INTERACTION BUT UNDERSTAND IF YOU CANNOT. THESE FICS CAN BE TRIGGERING BC THEY DEAL WITH SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL ACTIONS

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED BUT IF YOU INTERACT I HIGHLY APPRECIATE IT

Also. This is going to be for Will. I will possibly do Comte a later time. I'm just not too in great at writing him

You lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling. Tears streaming down your face. You have locked yourself in the spare bedroom and now you are pondering. Overthinking.

This is never good. You say you have nothing to keep you busy but this is because you have no motivation to do anything to keep you busy. So you lay there and think. And think. And think.

You're spiraling. You and Will are far too similar. Putting on different masks, hiding who you really are. Hiding how you really feel. You're both good at it. A little too good.

The moment you turn the lock on that door your demeanor changes. One mask to another. Unlocked? You're happy and smiling and saying what you need to say so that no one suspects nothing.

But locked? The facade leaves. Your face drops and so do the tears. Your will to do anything evaporates.

You wish you could lower the mask when the door was unlocked, show Will that you hurt. Show him that you need help. But then you wouldn't be strong. What would he think of you?

He's the one that leaves and works at the theater all day. You have no real issues. What do you have to complain about? So you put the mask back on.

But now you lay here. You found more than just wine in the villa and decided to drink it. Drink it all. You thought if you drank enough that you could just go numb and fall asleep. Forget this even happened and wake up like normal when Will got home.

To feel something other than a heavy weight on your shoulders. Something that wasn't numb. Or feeling like a disgrace. He deserves better than you. Why would he keep you around? It can't possibly be your looks or your charm. He must feel bad for you.

He could drain you of all your body and you would only thank him. But you did that for him already. The alcohol was for more than just getting a little drunk. You simply hoped you would pass out. But since you didn't you grabbed a knife.

The empty bottle is on the floor. The knife is in your hand. But your hand? Lifeless on the bed next to you. The bed is soaking up your blood and you just feel dizzier and dizzier. Was it the alcohol? The loss of blood? You have no clue how deep you went, but the alcohol thinned your blood so there must be a decent amount.

Your eyes flutter. Feeling heavier and heavier. Until they close.

Oddly enough Will came home early that day. He wanted to come home and have lunch with you. He's been so busy and he feels bad that he hasn't made much time for you.

"Darling, I am home," he sounds so happy to be back early. But he gets no response. "Darling?" He starts walking through the villa looking for you.

"Has she went out?" He checks the main room, the kitchen, the bedroom. Nothing. But then notices the spare room door was closed.

They never kept it closed. He goes over and tries to open it, but it's locked.

"Odd," he tries to open it again. He was confused and went to walk away but got a huge whiff of blood. Too much blood.

"Darling?" panic settled in his voice. Did something fall and injure you? Is it blocking the door? He tries shoving the door open. Nothing. He steps back and licks the door. Once. Twice. The door flings open. Nothing was in front of it so what was-

He saw you on the bed and froze. The smell of blood was so strong that he went to cover his nose, but the moment his arm moved he snapped out of it and ran to your side.

"Wake up. Wake up!" he tried to shake you. He saw the knife and tossed it on top of a piece of furniture in there.

"No no no no no," tears start forming. He takes the scarf around his neck off and immediately starts trying it around your arm, as tightly as he can. Then the sash around his waist comes off. That goes around your other arm.

"Wake up!" He puts a hand on your cheek. You're still warm. That's a good sign. "Cometh on darling just move. Just a dram."

His hand moved to your neck to look for a pulse. Who is he kidding he doesn't know how to check for a pulse. So his head rests on your chest and he tries to be quiet, listening for a heartbeat. It's there. Barely, but it's there.

"D-Doth not leave me," the tears start flowing, and once they do they don't stop.

You feel yourself being shaken and groan softly. The first noise you've made in hours. You can't force your eyes open but you can tell someone is there.

What happened? Where are you? You can't move any part of your body, and if you can then you can't feel it.

Will gets so relieved when he hears that groan and hugs you tightly. Your body starts to wake up and as you start to feel the pain you remember what you did.

Oh no. No no no no. You didn't die. And he found you. You weren't supposed to be alive. The only worse than all of that pain might be having to deal with surviving.

"W-Will..." Your voice is weak and raspy.

"Shh. Doth not speak," he sits up and pushes your hair behind your ear. Your eyes opened for a moment and then shut again. Your breathing is heavy.

"Everything is fine anon. I am here." He can barely talk above a whisper. His voice cracks with every word. "Doth not move."

He keeps playing with your hair. Whether it be for his comfort or yours he isn't sure.

The blood is soaking through the scarf already. He wants to move you out of the blood but he is scared. He's scared to leave you for a moment to go get anything to clean your wounds.

"I am here.." he kisses you softly.

You pass out again briefly. You don't know how much time has passed when you wake up, but the room is lit up by a lamp.

Will is laying beside you, an arm around you, covered in your blood. You force your eyes open and look around. You look down at your arms and see that they are bandaged.

Did you really mean to take your own life? You just wanted a few cuts here and there to feel something. You've done it before. What went wrong this time?

You try to sit up and Will immediately shoots up. His face is all red from crying, pieces of his hair clinging to his wet face.

"Doth not move, darling," his hand cups your cheek, his thumb gliding across your cold skin.

You couldn't find the strength to sit up anyway. You can barely move your head to the side to look at him.

Fresh tears form at his eyes from seeing you in so much pain. "W-why?" His voice cracked. "Why? Did I-"

"Will.."

You weren't going to have him blame himself. It was nothing he did. It's all because of you. You're the problem. You were just trying to find a solution.

You move your arm up slowly and rest your hand on top of his that is on your cheek.

"Why did you not tell me? I hath-"

"No," you try to find the energy to talk. He's just going to talk in circles if you let him. "You did nothing wrong."

"Then why?" He wipes his face with the back of his hand the best he can, sniffling.

"Living...hurts," you drag his hand off of your cheek. You don't deserve his touch. Or his tears. You don't even deserve the bandages on your arm.

"That is whetefore I am here, darling. To help thee. We are to do this together are we not?"

Even after this he still wants to help you, but why? You're obviously a problem. You're too difficult to handle.

"Alloweth me to get thee another blanket," he gets off the bed, going through the storage boxes in the room to get a blanket.

You notice his clothes are covered in your blood. Choking back your tears, you close your eyes. Then you feel a blanket covering you. You talk just above a mumble. "I don't deserve any of this. You should have let me-"

"I love you," he wasn't going to let you finish that sentence. "I would not wish any companion in the world but thee. I never known love til thee," he kisses your lips. Your eyes open to look up at him, wondering why he's doing this.

"I would save thee again and again."

His smile is soft and warming.

"I-I'm sorry," the tears start pouring from your eyes. Now that they've started they won't stop. "I'm so-sorry."

He wipes your tears with the cuff of his shirt but they don't stop. "It is okay, darling. You are safe anon."

He kneels down next to the edge of the bed. You hold his arm, not yet strong enough to hold all of him.

"I pray thee. Doth not hide thy emotions," he rests his head beside yours, listening to your cries, and heavy breath.

After a few minutes he stands up, wiping tears from his own face. "Alloweth me to get thee something to eat."

You simply nod your head and let him leave the room.

~~

Tag list~

@kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @xalxtusxiao @namine-somebodies-nobody @ana-thedaydreamer @evil-quartett @ameyoruakiikemenseries @yrenesposts @p1nkpandomium @tele86 @damekathearasi @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @nightghoul381 @vampiricpancake @lulu-the-smol-floof @faust-bite @azulashengrottospiano

[utterentropy]

Heart sleep headcanons because Heart's a massive comfort to me and I wanna come up with sleepycore stuff for him.

•When he sleeps, the little moon on his halo sparkles softly, and the light coming from the orb on each of his rings (plus halo) starts to dim.

•He sleeps with his childhood stuffie, Dragon, which is, you guessed it, a dragon. Dragon has mint green fur and dark green/cream accents, and soft but worn fur due to years of use; he was given to Heart by Cameron (Whole in our AU, just letting y'all know this AU is like CRAZY canon-divergent) when he was just a little idfant as the doll was passed down from Cam to Heart after he was emancipated and had his own home.

•His wings will softly flutter in his sleep, in the same way a dog will whimper and its legs will jerk.

•He shares his dreams with Mind! They both are talented lucid dreamers and remember their dreams very well, all these abilities coming from their species being distant relatives to dreamons (what dream creatures are called in my universe!).

•I like to think that while sometimes he snores, he tends to make a hooting sound when he sleeps, almost like a mix between an owl and a cat trill!

•He loves to sleep with lots and lots of blankets and pillows, and loves to sleep with his head covered by the blanket. He physically cannot sleep without weighted blankets, similarly to how he cannot be comfortable and at ease without wearing a hoodie, so he sleeps as if he's being held all of the time.

•Mind in our (nkgrimmie and my's) AU always wakes up at 5AM sharp to take a shower, and Heart often wakes up to the sound of him leaving his room to go rinse himself off. Heart finds the sound of him showering relaxing, and likes to hear Mind kinda do his thing before dozing back off to sleep.

•Speaking of Mind, Heart and Mind love to cuddle (in a familial way ofc). Mind holds Heart in his arms and Heart clings to him and uses the former's muscle as a comfy place to rest his head. Sometimes, when something bad happens (*looks at Soul*) or just when the day's been long, Heart enters Mind's room, and Mind sighs, and they have a nice little cuddle at night. It brings me joy knowing these two are so close in my AU. :)

•Heart is a bit of an oversleeper and sometimes Cameron/Soul goes to wake him up but he really isn't feeling it, so he just smiles a bit and leaves him to rest, most likely repositioning Dragon in his arms.

•Heart also gets extremely tired as a trauma response, but trying to keep things wholesome so I'll cover that another time. :)

•Due to sensory issues (ADHD), Heart sleeps with his blindfold off and leaves it by his cotside. It gives his eyes a nice break and ensures a good night's rest, given how much Heart values his sleep as the best part of his day.

•Heart has a semi-large collection of pyjamas in his closet that are washed at least kind of regularly (most likely thanks to Mind). They often have star/space themes to them, as does Heart's blanket, pillow, and cotsheets, and he loves to relax in his pyjamas while watching YouTube, namely Game Theory/Film Theory, Markiplier, CrankGameplays, and Alan Becker, as well as just generally nostalgic YouTubers for him. :)

•Before cot, Heart likes to sit on the porch and stargaze. It tends to tire him out, and they live in a semi-rural part of town decently away from light pollution so they (HMS/W) can actually see a pretty good amount of space from there. Sometimes Mind joins him on the porch and watches alongside them, and Heart gets to geek out a bit about stars while slowly falling asleep; and then can be carried inside and tucked in. :)

There's ABSOLUTELY more, I'll most likely make a pt ii when I can. :)

Enjoy my little comfort headcanons on the little tired boy. <3

[pensat-i-fet]

A bonding trip, Part 2 (Mason Mount x Reader)

Part 1

Word count: 2154

Masterlist

Wattpad

“We are lost”.

“How Mount? How did we get lost?”

And I guess we are back to square one.

“Well, the map said…”, he tries to defend himself.

“I can’t believe you. I told you what to do, but no, you had to believe your instincts and now I follow you to help you and we are both lost”.

My attempts to connect my phone to any wifi are futile. We are in the middle of nowhere and only have a map that is worthless. Fantastic.

“What time is it?”

“6.30”, I answer. “It’ll get dark soon. How are they going to find us?”

“They will. They can’t let me here alone to die”.

“You’re doing it again, Mount”.

“What am I doing?”

“Making it all about you”, I tell him, rolling my eyes.

“You know what I meant. They’ll want to find both of us”.

An hour passes and no one is there. And then two hours and…still nothing.

“Should we try to move around a bit to see if there is something that shows us where we are?”, I suggest. “Mason?”

But when I turn to look at him, I struggle to find him in the dark. He is sitting on a rock, looking at the ground.

“Are you ok?”

“No. You’re lost because of me. We are going to have to spend the night here. What if something happens?”

“We’ll be fine. I’ve camped in the woods before”.

“I’m sorry”, he says but it comes almost as a whisper.

“It’s ok. It could have happened to anyone…”.

“No, it happened to me because I wanted to impress you but I should have let you guide us. You’re better at it than me. Like you were better at shooting and painting yesterday”.

“And like I am at football?”, I try to joke to break the ice.

“In your dreams”, he jokes back.

Seeing that he’s doing a bit better, I go up to get my emergency backpack. 

“We got some food, a torch, blankets…”.

“Of course, you thought of picking one of those up”, he says.

“You should appreciate how lucky you are being paired with me”.

“I always have”.

I really cannot deal with these conflicting feelings while being lost in the woods. So I start to organize everything we have so we can have our dinner. It doesn’t look very appetising but we don’t get to choose from a gourmet menu tonight.

                                   **

“Should we try making a fire?”

“Mason, you’ll end up burning the whole forest. It’s not even that cold. The blankets will be fine. Let’s try to find a smooth surface to lay down”.

We do find it and get the blankets ready. I’m actually not sure this will be enough to keep us warm but again, no more options. 

“I’m cold”, says Mason.

“Just close your eyes and try to sleep”.

Stupid advice, keeping in mind mine are wide open. But at least the sky looks beautiful with all the stars shining bright. So I got a nice view.

“I’ll die because of how cold it is. How can you be so mean?”

“Stop whining, Mount. What am I supposed to do?”

“Come closer”.

Hell no. 

“Why?”

“Body heat”.

I turn to give him a look. “It’s not that cold”.

“I’m cold. I swear”.

I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t…

“Ok”.

I move to get closer to Mason but I still stay on my back. He can get body heat from my arm, I guess. My leg too?

“That’s not going to do it, is it?”

I can’t face him right now, so I turn on my side and let him hug me from behind. 

“You can relax”, he whispers. And the fact that his breath is caressing my neck when he speaks is not helping me relax…at all.

I try to convince myself that this is just us surviving. We would be doing this with anyone just so we can stay warm. But then he starts to draw circles on my arm with his cold fingers and my meditation is interrupted.

But, somehow, I end up falling asleep.

                                  **

The sound of people yelling wakes us up. The sun is already out and shining bright. So bright that it takes me a second to be able to properly open my eyes and see the position I’ve been sleeping in for God knows how long.

Now Mason is on his back, still embracing me with his arms. And my head ended up on his chest somehow. And I also can’t explain how our legs ended up tangled up but they did.

“Mason, wake up”, I tell him, sitting up and finally being able to work out what the yelling is all about. It’s people looking for us. “They’ve found us”.

I get up and stretch before yelling back at them so they know where we are.

“We are saved”, says Mason, dramatically falling back on the ground.

                                  **

By the time we are back to the camp, I just want to shower and lay down on a real bed. My entire body hurts.

But then I see him.

“Connor?”

I run towards him and hug him tightly. It’s been so long since the last time we saw each other.

“Hey, you. I was told you were lost in the woods. What on earth was that about?”

“Mount’s fault. But I’m back now”.

We are still laughing and catching up when I see Mason walking past us and frowning. 

“Can you convince them to let you stay with me today? There is no way I can do any activities and I don’t want to be alone”.

“You could stay with Mount”, says Connor, laughing at his own comment. He still doesn’t know we now get on well with each other.

“I rather stay with you”.

“Then you will. What do you want to do?”

                                  **

Connor and I spend the day in my cabin playing games, reading and just watching some shows. It’s all I needed after my little adventure in the woods.

But I also wonder what Mason is up to. I didn’t see him at breakfast, but maybe he decided to go with the others to take part in today’s activities.

“Should we go have dinner? I think everyone’s back”, asks Connor.

“Yes, let’s go”.

We see a couple of groups arriving, laughing loudly.

“What did you do today?”, I ask.

“Paintball. So sad you missed it”, says Pernille.

“That’s a bummer. It’s so much fun. We’ll have to organize another match when we are in London”.

“We missed you there”, tells me Azpi. “It would have been so much more fun with you and Mason shooting each other”.

“Who got to kill him?”

“No one. He didn’t come with us”.

So he was there but didn’t ask to spend time with me? Well, with Connor and with me. I don’t know why but that bothers me.

I join the same group I always eat with for dinner, but now it includes Connor. Thankfully, the girls don’t mind him being there.

But by the time we are done eating, I want some alone time. So I excuse myself to go for a little walk.

“Don’t get lost again!”

I make sure to go to the areas I know well and it’s there I find Mason.

“Hey, I didn’t see you today”.

He lifts his head to look at me quickly before going back to looking at his phone. “You were busy”.

“Yeah”, I laugh. “I’m really happy Connor is back”.

I look at him when he doesn’t say anything and see him scrolling on Instagram, but not really looking at anything.

“You ok, Mount?”

“Sure”.

That doesn’t sound very sincere. His tone and his posture show me I’m not someone he wants to talk with. So I excuse myself and go back to my room.

And even though I think I’ll sleep really well, I can only think about Mason and his reaction to me. Why is he acting like that?

                                **

The last day in Scotland is pretty boring. We don’t have much to do and spend half of the morning packing and getting ready to leave.

A part of me is hoping Mason will ask me to sit next to him on the flight home but when I see him next to Kai, I just shake my head and sit with Connor. 

                                 **

Being back in London means the real pre-season can finally start. And it’s kicking my ass with the double training sessions.

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I’ll leave”.

Mason just got inside the room where I’m taking an ice bath and I wish I could stop him from leaving but quick movements inside of this bath mean agony so I just yell at him.

“Mount! Come here. You don’t have to leave”.

“I don’t want to bother you”.

“You won’t, really”.

I try not to sound too much like I’m begging him to stay with me. But I want him to do it. He hasn’t spoken to me since we came back from Scotland and I really don’t get it. We were fine the morning we were rescued in the woods.

“You alright?”, I ask him while he gets in his bath.

“Yeah”, he says, shivering and making me laugh.

“We always find ourselves in the nicest situations, huh?”

But instead of answering, he just looks at me and then back at the floor.

“Mason, is there a reason why you are so cold with me right now?”

“You didn’t mind it when it was you doing it”.

I can see he’s trying to sound sarcastic and snarky but he sounds…hurt?

“Did I do something to offend you? Was it…was it because of what happened in the woods?”

That finally makes him look at me. “What happened in the woods?”

“Well, you know”, he’s really going to make me say it. “We slept together. Like, not as in having sex but…you know. I thought maybe you felt weird after that”.

The way he’s staring at me now makes me want to look away, but I won’t. I need an answer.

“No, sleeping next to you isn’t the reason I’m avoiding you”.

“So you recognize you have been avoiding me”.

“Anyone could notice that”, he says, rolling his eyes. “I was actually just trying to make everything easier for you”.

“How?”

“Well, you clearly hated being that close to me. You were so stiff, I was worried you would injure yourself”.

“It wasn’t…I wasn’t…”.

“It’s fine. I got it the next day. And don’t worry. I won’t tell Connor”.

Wait a minute…

“What does this have to do with Connor?”

“You two are together”.

The laugh that comes out of me is such that I end up moving too much and then the laugh is replaced by pain. Stupid ice baths.

“Connor and I aren’t together, Mason”.

“Don’t lie to me. When you saw him, you ran to him and jumped in his arms. And then you spent the whole day in your room. Do you expect me to believe you were playing board games? Either you’re together or are fuck buddies or…I don’t care. I just…I won’t bother you two. Don’t worry”.

I can’t help but look at his flushed face and smile. He really is an idiot.

“Are you jealous, Mount?”

“Yes!”

And that only makes the smile wider.

I turn to get my towel and get out of the bath slowly before making my way to his.

“What are you doing?”

But before he has time to say more, I get inside his bath, which isn’t really the best idea but I don’t care.

“Connor and I are just friends and yes, we were playing board games, you stupid silly boy”, I say, putting my arms around his neck. “And I was stiff when you wanted to sleep so close to me because I like you and being near you like that was only making my feelings more obvious to me. And I didn’t want to embarrass myself”.

“Oh”.

“Yes, oh”, I laugh, getting even closer to him. “I never hated you. But I always liked you. Do you like me back?”

“Yes”, he says, breathless. 

“Just yes?”, I tease. 

“Yes. I like you. And I always have. And if you and Connor aren’t together, you better kiss me right now or I’ll die".

I laugh at his comment, enjoying this teasing way more than I should.

“What would you do if I don’t kiss you, then?”

“I could tell you or I could show you”.

“Show me, then”.

And he does. He closes the distance between us and presses his lips against mine. One, then twice…until I’m too tired of him trying to tease me now, so I grab the sides of his face with my hands to kiss him properly. Like I should have done it a while ago.

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Ominis has quite a dream, and an emotional rollercoaster ahead for Norah. Listen, I know sectumsempra in the game canon, wouldn't exist until decades later. Keep in mind, this is sooo unrelated to that. Let's just assume that the spell already existed.

Masterlist

Chapter 13

"Ominis Gaunt, we need to talk," Norah said upon entering the Undercroft.

The blonde, who had been dozing off on the couch, sat up, blinking a few times to wake himself up. "What is it?"

"Those letters, those letters you sent me, did you mean what you said in those?" Norah questioned. There was a sense of urgency in her voice, and it made him stand up, sensing her approaching presence.

"What?" He said, seemingly caught off-guard by the question.

Norah took another step closer. "Those letters you sent me, when you were disguising yourself as "Nick," did you mean those things?" She said. "If you did, then please be direct with it. If you didn't, then please be direct with it too."

Ominis' heart was pounding, and somehow, he could also hear her heart racing. "I-I did," He admitted with a sharp exhale. "But I also know that I can't-"

"Can't what?" Norah asked, her expression softening.

"I can't- I can't be with you," Ominis said. "I don't deserve you, my family already despises you, you deserve so much better than to be with someone like me-"

"Don't you dare say that, and don't you dare tell me who I can and cannot love," Norah shot back. "Do you love me?"

"Norah, I-"

"Do you love me?" She repeated.

"Yes!" Ominis blurted out. "I love you! I love you Norah Lee! I have loved you for weeks, months, almost a year! I always have loved you and cared for you, I wrote to Anne asking for advice about you, I summoned you because it's only you that I want, from the moment you came out of the Undercroft for the very first time, I have loved you, and it's been eating away at me every time we catch ourselves alone together. I look for you all the time, I always hear your voice, I've wanted so badly to even just get the chance to hold your hand, be near you in a way that would make me not care about what anyone else has to say, I love you Norah," He was almost pleading, wanting to stress how sincere he was.

Before he could say any more, he felt her arms wrap around his neck, her lips over his own in a deep kiss. He froze for a moment but it didn't take long for him to reciprocate, his arms enveloping her waist.

He savored the moment until he could hear the faint sounds of Sebastian calling him.

Ominis opened his eyes, ignoring the pounding in his heart at the reality. It was all a dream. A dream where he had the courage to say what he felt about her. The warmth of the morning sun hit him, and he felt around for his wand to get ready for their first class. It had been three weeks since the Gryffindor party, and now everyone was looking forward to what might happen when the Hufflepuffs host the next one.

~

The search for more astronomy tables was put on a halt for the time being because even Amit couldn't handle all the NEWT-level homework they were being set to do. Even Ominis couldn't keep up to the point where he would fall asleep some nights, with his books, quill, and parchment on the floor. All the sixth years seemed to be experiencing the same, being unable to enjoy the Halloween festivities the weeks prior because of it.

Nurse Blainey's sex education lesson didn't seem to help, in between snickers and giggles over having to brew contraceptive potions. It was awkward enough for any of them to try brewing some out in the open, and not even Garreth wanted to risk doing so while in Potions. To make it even more awkward, at least for Sebastian, Ominis, and Amit, Norah allowed them to brew theirs in the Room of Requirement.

"I guess it's no different from what was taught in the muggle school," Norah chuckled as she stirred her cauldron that morning after Potions class. "Muggles had to use these things called condoms, the guy wears one when he's about to do it. Among other things."

Her explanation made Amit nearly spill some of his ingredients over. Sebastian remained curious, while Ominis was trying his hardest not to leave the room out of not wanting them to see how red he had gotten. "Can we-Can we just focus on making the potions?" Amit muttered. "The sooner we finish making these, the sooner we can stop talking about it."

"I disagree," Sebastian said. "I think it's important to talk about it, especially when we're around girls. So we know to be respectful, and take no for an answer. It's only natural, isn't it? How else would we be here had it not been for our parents?"

"Isn't that what we as men should be doing in the first place?" Amit swallowed hard, trying to overcome his embarrassment at what they were talking about.

Norah looked impressed. "My parents had long taught me to be respectful...only when it came to purebloods, that is," Ominis frowned, still intently stirring the mixture in the cauldron in front of him. "Of course, they also believed in arranging marriages, like what they've done to my brother Marvolo."

"Merlin, I heard that's what your pureblood families do," Amit shook his head at the thought.

"Well, yes, but there's no sympathy to be had for them," Ominis shook his head as well. "My brother is glad to uphold such things."

Norah glanced at him. "Then what are Ominis Gaunt's thoughts on marriage?" She asked curiously.

The blonde swallowed hard, remembering the dream he had. "I-I fully believe that marriage is reserved for two people who love each other. If they choose to."

She nodded, smiling to herself as she allowed the contents in her cauldron to brew, putting her dragonhide gloves back on to harvest the venomous tentacula that threatened to loom over Amit. "Garreth said the same thing," She said.

"Weasleys don't exactly hold the same beliefs as my family does, that's why they get called blood-traitors," Ominis pointed out. "So I am not surprised one bit to know that Weasley agrees with me."

Norah smiled. "If there's a Gaunt I like, it would be you, Ominis," She said, glancing at him as she harvested a few sprigs of fluxweed and knotgrass.

The blonde looked taken aback at the sudden comment, while Sebastian's expression fell slightly. Did she mean she liked Ominis too? He couldn't help but think.

They suddenly saw Poppy emerge from the beachy vivarium with Andrew, while Natty emerged from the vivarium that housed the phoenix with Henry. Norah had agreed to allow them to tend to the beasts while they were in there, and by extension allow Henry and Andrew to enter. She wondered if she could put a limit as to how many other people she'd allow inside the room, without wanting to keep other people out.

"Speaking of Garreth," Natty had overheard their conversation as they went down the stairs to join them. "I heard he invited you to go to Hogsmeade with him sometime," She teased. "He's been waiting for the day."

Henry chuckled. "Oh right, he did, didn't he? You two seemed to have a good time at the party, if I recall."

That seemed to make Sebastian frown, while Ominis nearly froze in his place. "Weasley asked you out?" He asked.

Norah stared at them and grinned. "Oh right, yes he did. NEWTs have been doing my head in lately, and we never got around to actually going together. I should probably tell him sometime."

"Isn't he interested in Nellie too?" Sebastian raised a brow. "Why'd he ask Norah out when Nellie was right there?"

Norah noticed Amit shift a little in his place, then glanced at Sebastian. "Are you saying he shouldn't ask me out?"

"Answer faster, answer faster, Sallow," Henry stared at him.

Sebastian stopped, realizing what he just said. "No, of course not-I mean- Yes he should ask you out, but he also fancies Nellie, doesn't he?" He stammered. Fuck.

"Answer better, answer better, Sallow" Andrew spoke.

Norah sighed and shook her head, smiling in amusement at what Henry and Andrew said. "Well, he did. I'm sure he'll tell me if it won't happen anymore. If he wants to ask Nellie out, so be it."

Sebastian's expression fell. "That's not what I meant, Norah," He said.

"I know perfectly well what you meant, Sebastian," She pointed out, taking the dragonhide gloves off and putting it aside. "It's not like I fancy Garreth, so if he prefers to ask Nellie out, who am I to stop him?"

"The Hogwarts heroine?" Amit tried to suggest, only to get nudged by Andrew.

What Sebastian said still left a bitter taste in her mouth, one that she tried her hardest to stay casual about. "Well, I should probably talk to him if that was the case. He's at the viaduct courtyard, isn't he?" She turned to Natty, who nodded. "Then, I'll see you all later," She took her bag and rushed out of the room.

"You idiot," Ominis slapped his arm as they watched the door close behind her. "Must you take this opportunity to put your foot in your mouth?"

Sebastian sighed, feeling like he got the wind knocked out of him. "You all know what I meant by that, she said she knew what I meant," He tried to defend himself.

"Maybe she did, maybe she didn't," Henry shrugged. "But Norah deserves to have that kind of attention, not how people know her just because she's the hero of Hogwarts. If anything, I think she's more than earned a chance."

"But I still said that Garreth should ask her out, didn't I?" Sebastian looked down at his potion brewing and bubbling before him. "I didn't mean anything else by it, I swear, and she said she doesn't fancy Garreth, didn't she?" He studied their expressions. "Nicholas Carrow calls her a mudblood and she doesn't flinch but I say that Garreth should ask Nellie out and I'm the bad guy all of a sudden?"

Ominis smacked the back of his head. Natty and Henry frowned at him. "Merlin, as if you can't get any worse," He said.

~

Norah made her way into the viaduct courtyard, still thinking about what Sebastian said. Even though she had grown to keep thinking that way, it still hurt when someone else said it. She was confused about her own thoughts, thinking that she ought to pick a side. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Garreth, especially when the person she cared about didn't seem to look in her direction. Or rather look at all.

She spotted the freckly redhead leaning over on the railing, looking at the groups of people hanging around below, on the bridge. He immediately stood up straight upon seeing her as she waved at him, waving back as she joined him.

"NEWTs killing you too?" He chuckled, leaning back over the railing as she did the same.

"Yeah, a little bit, and Nurse Blainey's sex education lessons," Norah chuckled. "So, about Hogsmeade-"

"Yeah?" Garreth replied, a little too eagerly. "We haven't gone yet, but... do you still want to? We don't have to go to Madam Puddifoot's, we can just go somewhere else in Hogsmeade if you prefer."

Norah smiled. "I heard you fancy Nellie Oggspire," She said.

That seemed to make the redhead's cheeks heat up. "Who told you I fancy her?" He asked.

"Sebastian."

"That's-" Garreth tried to say, getting flustered at the reply. "That might be true."

Norah nodded. "So, you never really meant to ask me out at the party, then?"

"I meant to," Garreth said. "I meant it. I just-I was just getting frustrated because Nellie keeps talking about Amit so much. She fancies him, you know."

No wonder Amit reacted the way he did when Sebastian said it, she thought. "I'm guessing Amit knows how she feels about him?"

Garreth nodded. "Yeah, she told him at the party, and apparently, Samantha Dale got annoyed. They went in together, but they didn't go back together-together, if you know what I mean."

"I really must ask Amit about that. He doesn't even tell me how he actually feels about Samantha either. Yet, I don't want to press him for details, I've tried before, but that didn't seem to work," She said, her expression somber. "He must still be confused about it all. Probably overwhelmed with all the romantic attention he's getting."

Garreth shrugged, then glanced at her. "I still meant it, you know, about going to Hogsmeade together sometime. I hope you don't think I'm just using you as a distraction," He said.

"You kind of are," Norah pointed out. "But I guess I can see where you're coming from."

"I'm sorry, Norah," He said.

She shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry about. At least you were honest with me. I respect that."

Garreth looked down, embarrassed and apologetic. "Now I feel like an absolute asshole."

"Have you at least tried to talk to Nellie about how you feel?" Norah asked, trying not to dwell on the realization even further.

"The question is when I have not," He pointed out. "But yet, Nellie is like Amit this, Amit that, she hoped to come with you to look for those astronomy tables. She'd ask Natty, but then she'd find out."

Norah chuckled. "Oh, so no one knows much about Nellie fancying Amit, huh?" and Garreth shook his head.

He sighed, watching a few house quidditch players zoom past the bridge and fly down to the greenhouses. "I can't not say I'm sorry again, Norah. I know you'd make someone really happy, who wouldn't use you like I did."

Norah nudged him. "Don't rub it in, Weasley. Well, I guess our Hogsmeade trip might have to...not happen after all. It's okay," She assured him before he could interject. "However, if Nellie really doesn't see you that way, maybe you should just accept it and move on. Look for someone who does."

She bid him goodbye and walked off, making her way to the kitchens to get something to eat. Sebastian was right after all. It also seemed to confirm what she had thought about herself. Climbing down the stairs, Norah stopped at the portrait of the fruit bowl and tickled the pear until it turned into a doorknob.

~

Accessing the school kitchens always felt like a pleasant surprise. The house elves were hard at work, cooking and preparing everything. The smells of meat being roasted, bread being baked, and sweets filled the air, and Norah somehow felt comforted at the sight of it all.

"Would miss like something to eat?" One of the house elves asked, coming up behind her.

"As a matter of fact, I would," Norah said with a nod.

"Come, Miss! Come! We've gots food for Miss to eat! Have some! Take as much as you want!" They said, gesturing her to the other counters that had an assortment of soups in tureens along with baskets of bread. One elf almost shoved a bowl in her hands while another ladled some into it, charming a knife to cut through a loaf of bread.

"Thank you thank you," She tried not to spill anything as she sat in the corner to eat, seeing some of the elves crowd around her as if waiting for her to ask for more. "You don't have to watch me eat, it's alright. Please, don't mind me eating here."

"Please help yourself if you want more, or tell us what you like and we'll make it for you," They said before slowly scattering to get back to their kitchen duties.

Norah turned her attention to the meal before her and tucked in, trying to drown out the thoughts that were seeping in. She had just remembered that the Yule Ball was fast approaching, and by now, everyone was likely already in the throes of preparing for it. There went a possible chance at getting a date for the ball. At least she thought it was a chance.

Fully focused on finishing her food, she was starting to feel better, the soup warming her body. That would be enough for another adventure, perhaps looking for Harlow again. It would make for a good distraction, to have something that would occupy a bigger part of her life. Anything to forget what just happened, to forget that reality.

After she had her fill, she stepped out, almost stepping back in when she saw Poppy and Andrew coming down the stairs. She didn't feel like seeing them for now, immediately thinking about the awkward exchange in the room earlier. Once the two of them were out of earshot, she crept out of the kitchens, climbing up the stairs in the hopes of maybe vanishing for now.

"Oi! Norah Lee!" Nicholas Carrow, flanked by his group of blood status supremacists, called out to her.

She sighed. She did not have time for him today. "What do you want, Carrow?" She asked.

"You're looking at the new Crossed Wands winner, so that's Mr. Carrow to you," He said, pointing his wand at her. "Given that a mudblood was last year's Crossed Wands champion, what say you and I have a duel?" He raised a brow at her.

Norah could see everyone stopping to watch them. "Here? Now?"

"What's the matter? Accio wand!" Nicholas summoned her wand from her hand. "So, what do you think? In front of everyone here!" He declared, throwing her wand back to her, and she caught it in time.

"Fine, so be it," Norah said, putting her bag down. "I'm surprised you won Crossed Wands, to be honest."

Her remarks made Nicholas' expression stiffen. "We've got another battle! Between champions!" Lucan Brattleby said excitedly. "The current champion and last year's champion, Nicholas Carrow versus Norah Lee!"

Lucan's announcement seemed to get more people to gather around them. "No one's going to save you this time, mudblood," He said. "Professor Black's one of us, and he won't hesitate to expel a mudblood like you."

"Shut up and duel," Norah said, studying the way he stood. She wanted to get everything over and done with. Whether she won or lost, she didn't care. She also knew Nicholas was making an empty threat, given that everyone else around them knew who started it.

"Expelliarmus!"

Norah was quick to shield herself in time. Nicholas kept going, trying the kinds of spells she remembered were taught to her in fifth year. The most she planned to do was keep defending or shielding herself, knowing that Nicholas would want her to do something, anything, that would make her seem like the bad person.

"Reducto!" Nicholas yelled, and she moved out of the way. "You filthy mudblood."

"So bold of you to keep assuming that I am a muggle-born," Norah muttered, eyes still fixed on him and his movements. She continued to shield herself nonverbally until she cast levioso, followed by a quick depulso and another levioso again, keeping him afloat.

"Oh I do know, Norah Lee. Daughter of squibs, that makes you even less of a witch, undeserving of being in Slytherin house," His voice was dripping with hatred. "Sectumsempra!"

Before Norah could defend herself, she was pushed back, knocked off her feet. "That's enough!" Professor Hecat had appeared, likely having heard of the duel that took place. Norah felt the wind knocked out of her, her face and chest were bleeding as if she had been slashed by an invisible sword.

"You fucking coward!" She heard Garreth yell, and to her surprise, Amit and Leander were holding him back from trying to lunge at Nicholas, who was also being held back by his friends. Nicholas looked victorious. "Can't handle that she was being the bigger person, could you? You fucking coward!"

Her eyes were getting heavy as more blood seemed to gush out of her. "Mr. Carrow, perhaps 50 points from Slytherin and detention until your Christmas break for injuring your fellow students," Professor Hecat declared. "If you utter mudblood once again, I shall report your activities to your parents. But I fear they may be incredibly understanding with what you have tried to do."

"Mudbloods and squib-borns are undeserving to be in Slytherin house," Nicholas sneered. "Much less in Hogwarts."

"Fucking bastard!" She thought she heard Ominis yell before passing out. "Norah? Norah! Norah! Wake up!"

[flyingspacewhale93]

After the tree is pruned (Jing Yuan x Reader) 1.2 SPOILERS

NSFW MINORS STAY OUT NSFW

Reader can be read as Dom or Switch if you want. CW: mentions of death. Also angry sex (only one person is angry tho)

Word Count: 610

Jing Yuan returns from fighting Phantylia and kisses you, his beloved. “I’m back safe and sound, my love.”

“Welcome back, my dearest husband.” You say trying to keep as prim and proper as possible. “I have something to discuss with you in our chambers.”

“Well whatever it is, I’m sure I won’t get very much rest.” A warm smile lights up his face. “Lead the way.”

When the two of you are alone together you kiss him passionately, tongues wrestling for dominance. “...mmm, I missed you.” You murmur running your hands through his hair.

“As did I, dear. But I said I wouldn’t be long-” You shove Jing Yuan down on your large shared bed and unbuckle his pants, a growl escaping from your throat. “My, someone’s eager today.”

“Shut up.” You hiss. “I’m gonna ride you until I cum. Those hands of yours will do what I tell you to do, do you understand?”

He nods, that fucking irritating Cheshire cat smirk still on his smug face. “Did I mention how sexy you are when you take charge?”

You huff. “You said you wouldn’t fight anymore!” You slam your hips against his, fucking him at a fierce pace. “Do you have any idea how worried I was when that beast tried to turn you into a puppet?! For fuck’s sake, Fu Xuan showed me everything!”

“Well I survived, didn’t I? Honestly, you’re more threatening than she ever was.”

“Do you think Fu Xuan likes showing people live scenes of battle? I had to beg her to show me because we were all worried!”

He chuckles. “An old friend and our honored guests were with us. We weren’t in any danger at all.”

You glare at him with lust in your eyes. “You are never leaving my side again! I’ll keep you in bed filling me with cock!”

“Oh? Now that sounds like a good idea. Just let me tell Fu Xuan that I’ve been unfortunately taken prisoner by a fierce and gorgeous lion.” You leave little hickies and bites on any bit of exposed skin.

“You are an arrogant general.” You roll your eyes. “How dare you make me feel so good? Just what would I do if I didn’t have this cock taking care of me, these hands to pleasure me just right?”

“I’m certain you would have a parade of suitors at your beck and call. Of course, whether or not they could handle the fire burning brightly within you is another question entirely.” Jing Yuan lays back, his hips matching your fast pace.

“Fuck, I’m close, I’m close. I’m gonna take all your cum as punishment!” Your legs begin to shake.

“Go ahead. I have no need to give my seed to anyone else.” Jing Yuan says. You let out a groan as the two of you release together, your bodies joining in bliss.

You lay curled up on Jing Yuan’s strong chest as you sob, relief and ecstasy wracking your body. “I-I was afraid I might lose you.”

Jing Yuan shushes you softly. “It’s alright, darling mine. I didn’t want you to worry but I knew you’d pry. Just have a little faith in your husband, alright?” His lips gently kiss your bare skin while he lets out the occasional purr. The next part of his speech comes out in a soft whisper. “If she had known about you and turned you into an Arbiter of Destruction, I would have gone mad with grief. I have lost many things in my long life, but I cannot lose you.” His arms clutch you tightly as you both fall asleep together, letting tomorrow bring what it may.

[possessionisamyth]

Carlos won’t send nudes, and Leon respects that even if he does pout about it. But occasionally, Carlos will indulge Leon in some phone sex when one of them is away.

Carlos has plenty of toys to use and Leon loves hearing him, always makes him put the phone speaker down by his hole so he can hear how wet Carlos is.

“God, baby, please, wish I could see you, wish I was there, you sound so good, fuck –” Leon’s eyes are squeezed shut, picturing Carlos but it’s never as good as the real thing. He curses this stupid fucking mission for taking him away, all he wants right now is his cock in Carlos and his hands on his skin.

Carlos is a mess, fucking himself on two toys, and even though he himself isn’t very vocal the shlick, shlick, shlick sounds of the toys sliding in an out of him are plenty loud. 

They don’t have long, they never do with this type of thing, so soon enough they’re both spilling, Carlos onto the sheets beneath him and Leon onto his pants, as much as he tries to avoid it. (Carlos tries to keep from coming on his stomach when Leon isn’t there to clean it up, but some still gets on him and Leon has him collect what he can and suck it off his own fingers.)

They say their breathless goodbyes, and Carlos lays for a little bit longer before getting up to clean himself (it’s much less fun without Leon.)

When Leon does get home they’re both fucking insatiable. Once Leon has recovered enough he’s all over Carlos (he insisted on sucking Carlos off before he even rested, but Carlos made him wait to do anything else.) Pushing him against the wall, into the mattress, hands never leaving Carlos’s body. 

Carlos likes to struggle a bit, just to feel that Leon can actually overpower him, that he’s genuinely strong enough to manhandle him to where he wants. But eventually he goes pliant and moves easily, feeling so good he quite literally can’t think about pushing back.

If Leon wants to get fucked it has to be before he fucks Carlos, because once he has access to this mans hole he gets carried away immediately. That being said, Carlos loves fucking him, specifically in mating press so he can watch in awe at how easily Leon’s knees come up to his shoulders (his flexibility never stops making Carlos unreasonably horny.)

One of Leon’s favorite things is to fuck Carlos and come inside him before having Carlos sit on his face and eating him out. Leon eats ass like he’s starved and isn’t shy about how much Carlos’s smell turns him on.

They also have to work out separately if they actually want to get anything done, because the minute Leon smells the sweat and musk coming off of Carlos he cannot help himself. He spends an unreasonable amount of time (to Carlos, not him) just working his way down Carlos’s body, nuzzling his nose into anywhere he can and licking the sweat off his skin. He pays special attention to the hair on Carlos’s belly, rubbing his face into it with no shame.

Though they’re few and far between, sometimes Carlos lets Leon cockwarm him for long enough that they both fall asleep. Every time this happens, Leon wakes up to Carlos rocking his hips subconsciously, unable to resist even as he’s asleep. 

(this was less of a mini fic and more of a collection of thoughts based on yours, but I hope you enjoyed anyways!)

HI HELLO HELLO HI GOOD EVENING HELLO HI, ANON YOU AND I SHALL HAVE AN AUTUMN WEDDING-

Let me just return the favor (cracks my knuckles)

Leon's fingers slid through Carlos' hair moving his messy bangs from his forehead. "You're doing so good."

Carlos had one hand wrapped around the base of Leon's cock, pubic hair brushing into his pinky, with his lips stretched around the rest. The tip of Leon's cock teased the back of his throat testing the limit of his gag reflex. They hadn't started like this. They usually didn't when Carlos made it home after one of his ten hour flights, but he'd caught Leon lazily jerking off on the couch, and...well... The jetlag got him halfway asleep and sucking Leon's dick would definitely get him the rest of the way there.

Drool spilled down his chin as he bobbed his head meeting the closed circle of his fingers each time he went down. Carlos would like to take in more, but he knew his limits. If Leon fucked his throat as he was now things would get the bad kind of messy. A weak whimper left him at the soft caresses to his scalp, and he slipped his other hand under to roll Leon's balls in his hand.

Leon cursed, his fingers tightening in Carlos's hair. It didn't hurt, but it sent a shiver down his spine. He sucked around his mouthful. Precum coated his tongue. He wanted more. He really wanted more, but the risks outweighed the rewards. His own cock remained half hard and neglected in his pants. He'd take care of it later. Probably. It didn't matter. He was currently that special type of cock drunk where all he wanted was to taste the salt on Leon's skin and have cum fill his mouth.

Pulling off Leon's cock, Carlos worked both his hands to get Leon off. His hand worked fast, pressing his thumb under the head. He built up spit in his mouth before licking up the shaft of Leon's cock to use as makeshift lube. The slick sounds could barely be heard over the noise from the TV, but Carlos watched the muscles of Leon's stomach clench with anticipation.

"Fuck, fuck," Leon's hips thrust into Carlos' closed fist.

Aiming the head of Leon's cock towards his open mouth, Carlos stuck his tongue out and rubbed his other thumb into Leon's taint. A long groan left Leon's chewed pink lips. Thick ropes of cum dressed Carlos' tongue. His bottom lip. His chin. All until Leon stopped shaking and his ass fell back onto the couch. With a parting open mouthed kiss to the tip, Carlos tucked Leon back into his sweatpants and wiped his hand on his shirt. A shower sounded nice right now.

He was moving to stand up and get his suitcase when two hands grabbed his arms and pulled him onto the couch. Actually, less onto the couch and more on Leon who planted one hand on the back of Carlos' neck and the other on his ass. Carlos found his bottom lip sucked into Leon's mouth before they were kissing. The kiss didn't last long. A rushed meeting of lips and a moment later, Leon avidly licked his chin clean and was kissing down his jaw.

"Come on, man. I'm tired," Carlos said giving Leon's shoulder a light shove.

"You jumped me." Leon's nose pressed under Carlos' adams apple as his tongue flicked out to lick along the line of his neck.

"Yeah, and now I'm tired."

Leon sighed and pulled away giving Carlos a deadpanned stare. "Surely you know this means war."

"Instead of war, you can wake me up however you want tomorrow."

"However I want."

Carlos got out of Leon's grasp and headed down the hallway to their bedroom. His hand was on the doorknob before what he said registered, and he called out, "Within reason!"

"No, no, no. No takebacks! You said however I want," Leon replied.

Carlos rubbed a hand down his face. He really shouldn't make promises while working with two hours of sleep.