Tumgik
#so I’m not forcing it! it just also makes me a little sad sometimes
gor3sigil · 2 months
Text
Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.
It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
8K notes · View notes
luveline · 6 months
Note
also didn’t realise that amanda was their little baby but here’s an idea if ur up for it. amanda inherits like spencer’s smartness i guess and so when she starts spewing facts about the random-est stuff spencer’s overjoyed and then bombshells just staring at them with adoration in her eyes?? idk something really fluffy
“Shoes?” Amanda asks. 
“Yeah, babe.” 
“No thanks.” 
You hold Amanda’s socked feet in your hands. “You need shoes to keep your feet warm.” 
“I’ll have socks.” 
You look past her tiny face to her father for some assistance. Spencer scratches his neck, looking absolutely exhausted, though he’s dressed sharply. You’d spent a few minutes finger curling his hair this morning before it dried, and he’s brushed them out gently, giving him a windblown look. You pretend to take a photo of him. He rolls his eyes. 
“Amy,” he says lovingly, baby-voice in play as he leans over the back of the couch, “you know why you have to wear shoes?” 
“Why?” 
“Because growing up, your feet are very small, and very fragile. They need time to grow in proper structures, and they can’t do that if you don’t wear shoes when you’re walking a lot.” He gives her shoulder a rub. “Don’t you wanna match me and mommy?” 
“You wear shoes… different. Mom has heels,” she insists. 
“What if I wear flats?” you ask, eager to leave the house before afternoon. 
She shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest with a Spencer style pout. 
Spencer sits down next to her with a sigh. You’re both aware of how smart she is for her age, and while it can be interesting, it’s also made some stuff so, so hard. Like explaining shoes. “I’m not want to wear them. It’s good for my skin to breathe.” All her r’s sound soft, like w’s.
You rub your eyes. Spencer sucks in an excited breath. “Yes! Skin can’t really breathe, but it’s good to have it uncovered sometimes to help your circulation and your pores.” 
“‘Xactly,” Amy says. 
“And, you know, shoes that don’t fit right force your feet into narrow positions, which can cause a whole bunch of problems.” 
“No shoes,” Amy says. 
“But…” Spencer backtracks, thumbing under her eyelashes gently. “If you don’t wear your shoes, we can’t go out to the store for groceries and we can’t go to the bakery on the way home. Which means you won’t get your sugar donuts, mommy won’t get her slice of cake, and that’s gonna make me so sad.” 
“Why?” 
“Because I love when your mom is happy. It makes me happy when she’s happy. She doesn’t look very happy now, does she?” 
In all honesty, you’re much too pretty to be sitting on the floor, tights to the carpeting and your cute black dress bunching up your thighs. You refuse to close yourself into the ‘mom’ box some may expect of you, dressing as you had before you became a mom, but you’ve allowed Amanda the opportunity to choose your necklace; a gold pendant ring with green and pink sapphires. It’s gorgeous, colourful, and doesn’t even slightly go with your outfit. Spencer reaches for it now, tugging it straight carefully against your neck. 
You frown deeply, pulling your widest, softest doe eyes. “Please, lovely girl, put your shoes on. Or I’m gonna have to be strict, and I hate being strict.” 
“Don’t fw-own, mommy,” she says, listing into Spencer’s side, “you’ll get wrinkles. Worse wrinkles, ‘cos your muscles remember.” 
And again, all her r’s are w’s, her pronunciation lispy and sweet despite her amazing expertise. Spencer laughs and takes her face into two hands, kissing “Wow, smarty pants,” into her crown. “You’re so smart! I can’t believe it!” 
You feel your annoyance softening. Fine, she’s a smarty pants, and you secretly love it so so much. You’ll just have to carry her to the car. Or her genius dad can carry her. Actually, that could be great, Spencer’s never looked so handsome as he does carrying around your little baby, especially now he’s started working out every now and then. 
“Better role your sleeves up, Spence,” you say, standing up off of your knees. “I’m keeping my heels on. Daddy’s gonna carry you, and you’re gonna get wonky feet.” 
“That’s fine,” Spencer says to her in a whisper, “I’ll carry you forever if you want me to, even if you do get all wonky, bubby.”  
Amy preens as she wraps her arms around him and he picks her up. He takes her shoes from your hand without her seeing. 
“Isn’t she amazing?” he mouths, and he means it, his eyes wide with it. 
“She’s gonna protest socks, next, Spencer Reid, and then what are you gonna do?” you ask. You aren’t half as concerned as you’re pretending to be. Amy’s a baby. She’ll learn how important shoes are soon enough. 
“I’m gonna hold her in my coat, like this,” he says, pulling his coat over her legs. 
“Like that,” you say to yourself, grinning. “Okay, you two do what you want. Can we go now? We really need to get some groceries.” 
2K notes · View notes
soobnny · 3 months
Text
dating him | lee know
Tumblr media
❝ come over, the cats miss you ❞
chan | LEE KNOW | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
if he wasn’t a menace before (impossible btw), he sure as hell is now
this man is relentless
teasing as his love language
just loves riling you up bc he thinks ur reactions are so cute
and he smirks a lot too
if he wasn’t so damn attractive, u would’ve wiped that smirk off his face !!!!!
“wait min, i got a text”
“nice to know you have friends”
u hate him 😭😭😭😭😭
he’s such a little shit that he’s even rilling u up during ur dates
like
laser tag games where he kisses you to distract you before taking you out
HE’S SO MEAN
he’d push you against the wall with a sly smirk and you think you won’t fall for it again, but you do
every single time
u should’ve known better
this is lee “resident cheater in all possible games” minho
anyways
he is also an ass lover ❤️❤️❤️
i’m sorry but u cannot go into a relationship with him without expecting him to always have his hand on ur ass in some way
so in short
the trope is giving u thought he was out of ur league but he’s actually a weirdo
so now u’re dating the Weird Kid
(u wouldn’t want it any other way)
his other love language is acts of service
i said in my chan one that minho also gives Chief Hong from hometown cha3
like tell me i’m wrong
man wife #2
he is ur personal handyman
he’s just good at everything
will most probably only do it for u tho
seungmin: hyung can u fix my sink
minho: no
seungmin catching strays 😂😂
you: babe—
minho: what do you need me to do now
he says it in fake annoyance too
but he’s got his tools in his hand already ready to do whatever u want
obsessed i tell u
he drives u around too
if you have an event, a party, a project, anywhere you need to be
he’ll drive u there
he always makes time
AND he picks you up too like shut up
it could be a party that finishes at 2am and he’s just waiting for your call to pick you up
sometimes, you tell him he can just sleep early bc your friend will give you a ride home
when you get home, look … he’s still awake
he’s been waiting for you to come home this whole time to make sure you’re safe
BUT he doesn’t say anything
the moment he sees you’re alive and breathing (and doesn’t need taking care of), he’s on his way to the bedroom to sleep
when u look around, he’s done the chores already
he just does things to lessen the load that u might have u know
if u’re so stressed with anything, he’d silently clean up ur room or bring u food
so u don’t have to think about that anymore
also the best chef in town btw
he likes cooking together
and by cooking together i mean like he does all the work and u just stay there and keep him company
he can’t risk ur clumsy ass injuring urself
comforts u thru his cooking too
would baby u and feed u when u’re sad
his favorite dates with u are quiet, homemade dinners
just likes being with u and u only
away from everyone else
as niki would say, i don’t like anyone except sometimes you
it’s in moments like those that he just unwinds and shows u his softer sides
he’s honestly just so gentle and soft
he looks at u with stars in his eyes
ugh such an attentive listener too
sometimes u think he isn’t listening, but he’s got it all memorized
“yeah u mentioned it on our date 3 months ago”
like damn
anyways, moving on
his pet names for u give olden times
honey, darling, jagi
but also loser, idiot, stupid girl (endearingly)
so u two are giving me old married couple
u’d both wake up early and have coffee or tea together and just talk abt anything
also this is far into the future but like
sneak peek at minho as ur husband
i think u two would be the type to have a garden
like gardening would be ur little hobby
he grows fruits and vegetables
u beg to grow flowers
OK BACK TO BOYFRIEND MINHO
randomly sending selfies thru the day
THOSE selfies
u know what i’m talking abt
forces u to send selfies back
(ur photos are all saved and hidden in his phone but he will never tell u that)
oh u’ve also become his cats’ mom btw
one of ur favorite errands to do is going grocery shopping for his cats
u’d always end up buying them a gift
“u’re the reason my cats are spoiled”
SUUUUUUURE minho suuuuuuure
cat fashion shows
like dress to IMPRESS
(btw idk why but i feel like u could force him to play roblox with u)
he also uses his cats to lure u to visit him btw
“soonie misses u, u’re being a bad mother”
it’s just him who misses u let’s be real
and if ur favorite thing to do with him is cat shopping, his is walking by the han river with you
he loves walking
esp when it’s with you
just a peaceful walk tbh like yall don’t even have to say anything
tho sometimes when he’s feeling playful, he’d suddenly play tag with you
ends with both of u just sitting by the river and looking at the lights and the stars and holding hands or maybe ur head on his shoulder
damn wish that were me fr
when u go home, u watch some variant of a trashy reality tv show together
u’ve basically seen it all
but if anyone were to ask u what happened in those shows, yall wouldn’t know
u two were too busy just making out instead of paying attention
or falling asleep
old married couple i’m telling u
expect to also be dragged into his camping
when he has particularly long days off, he’d propose going camping together
ah, the beauty of warm bonfires and quiet conversations
he’d take good care of you the whole time
like yessss do your job as a man and fix up this entire camping site
and he does
tho, aside from camping, he’d also suggest hiking to take in the view of the mountains and the pretty sky
u’d wake up early on both occasions just to watch the sun rise
in contrast to these very productive activities, sometimes minho also just loves lazy sundays where you just cuddle for the entirety of the day
what more could he want
u and his cats with him
that’s honestly just the dream
good luck cat mom
have fun acting like an old married couple with lee know
he is the dream man
nonchalant to anyone else except u
Tumblr media
note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
963 notes · View notes
feninina · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞 ༉‧₊˚.⁀➷
therapist! jonathan crane x female reader.
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: when your father decided that you needed therapy, taking you to his dear friend dr. crane to treat and help you, you thought it wouldn't work at all, but it turned out to be everything you needed.
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: SMUT(minors dni!!), noncon/dubcon, depression, cursing, crane is a mysoginistic prick, using therapy for unhinged reasons, smut, hair pulling, jonathan just being an creep, choking AND strangulation, dacryphilia, hitting, unprotected sex (safe sex its great sex!!), breeding kink, forced breeding, power dynamics, i think crane should be a warning himself, reader being borderline stupid and naive. also this has a lot of backstory i’m so sorry i got carried away lol.
𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 7.1K
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: omg my first fic on here!! this is also my first work on english and my first smut ever so i apologise in advance for any mistake!! i hope y'all enjoy it anyways ahahahaha live laugh love jonathan crane👏🏻 feedback its very appreciated so i can improve and continue to publish better works, anyways enjoyyyy 💓
𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝘁
Tumblr media
It was awkward, to say the least.
You were sitting across from Doctor Crane in the couch at your dad's house, legs crossed as you watched him write on his clipboard, something about it making you feel anxious, a little nauseous, even.
This wasn't your first session, you started doing this four months ago, not long after your divorce that caused you to fall into a spiral of sadness and misery. Your failed— and short marriage was the main reason you started taking therapy with your dad's friend, the chief of Arkham, Jonathan Crane, and still, you couldn't bring yourself to talk about it.
He was patient, you told him several times that he was a saint. Regardless, before you started with the sessions, he explained to your dad that he didn't really do this; therapy really wasn't his strong suit, but for a friend, a desperate one, he would gladly do it.
Your dad came to him, offering a big stack of money if he would talk to his little girl, make her recover her once joyful personality, like you had one to begin with. Jonathan really couldn't say no, and not really because of the money, he had other reasons in mind, unethical reasons.
And there you were now. You were quick to open up to him, eager to talk, to be listened and he, on the other hand, was ready to listen, to give you advice, console you and help you get through the sorrow that was following you since you were young, playing the role of your knight in shinning armor.
"I can't believe you don't actually do this" you said once, sniffling your nose with a handkerchief he gave you as he examined you with a warm gaze, an empathetic grin on his face. "You're really helping me"
Jonathan was quick to wave his hand and tell you that it wasn't a big deal, that he was just doing his job, and if you weren't so innocent, so stupid, you would have noticed the mischievous sparkle that flickered in his eyes for a split second.
You were landing right in the palm of his hand.
Not even thirty minutes into the first session you told him everything about your past; every little thing you thought he needed to know to treat you. And you were slightly right; he did need to know those things, but not to treat you, just to manipulate you and mold your little brain into what he was envisioning for you and your future together.
Truth was, you hated everything about your life, regardless of the fact that you had everything. That's what you've been told since you were a child; a big house, a lot of money, maids taking care of you so you wouldn't have to move a finger and just sit pretty and relax inside the walls of the huge mansion that confined you since you could recall.
You have everything. That was bullshit.
Sometimes, you couldn't help but think that people told you that out of pity, like they knew how miserable you felt, but not daring to say a word about it. Your dad was a powerful man, and you were aware of that, ever since you were born, he had bussines with Falcone and you knew that people feared him, he practically ruled Gotham, that lifeless and dangerous city that you had to live in.
You have everything. You were tired of that sentence. You didn't care at all about these nice things surrounding you, those dresses in your closet, those diamonds in your jeweler, that fancy car you owned since your eighteenth birthday, no, that was useless in your eyes, because all you really wanted, was love.
It was a lonely life; you learned how to do everything by yourself, how to comb your hair, how to deal with your period when it first came, how to dress up properly and do your makeup. You didn't even had to learn about boy problems because there weren't any boys in your life, you were homeschooled. So you were quiet, not really having to talk at all, there was nobody to talk to.
And since Jonathan was the only person you were talking to at the moment, you started to feel like you loved him, the idea sitting right with you without you even knowing it, thinking that this was how therapy normally went.
Loneliness striked your life at a young age; your mother died from a strange disease when you were eight, leaving you with a shattered heart thad bled everytime you walked past her bedroom, or saw a picture of her. You practically watched her die, a witness of how she lost her strength, how her once beautiful skin turned pale and yellow, and lost every little spark within herself, and the worst part was that all the money you had, couldn't even help her.
It was a deep wound that you carried with yourself, with nobody to talk about it.
Your father spent his days locked up in his office, and when he wasn't there, he was out in the city doing unthinkable things that you didn't even wanted to know about, leaving you on your own, having to fill all of those silent and empty rooms by yourself, with nobody to laugh with, nobody to hold you and see you grow. He wasn't really around, working all the time, too busy to know that his daughter didn't seem to care about all the expensive stuff he bought for her, not even taking the time to have dinner with you or hold a simple conversation. He loved you, you knew that, he just wasn't the type to show his affection with words or actions, but with gifts. And you hated everything about it.
But now, Jonathan was there, making you feel listened, finally saving you from falling into loneliness again. Your whole life, you thought you had a horrible sickness, that you were doomed to this awful destiny of sorrow and silence, but now, with his sweet words and good company, you couldn't be more than relieved.
You wished sometimes that you met him earlier, that this whole therapy stuff started before, and you even confessed it to him. And it irked him a little, that you didn't even remember how you two really met each other, hiding his annoyance with a warm smile.
Some months ago, your father started to brought you to parties he attended, parties were all the corrupts scumbags from Gotham reunited and celebrated how they were dragging the city to the gates of hell on their benefit, and you couldn't be more happy to attend them. You knew he was bringing you because he recently broke up with the young girl he carried with him— that was most likely your age, and needed a pretty thing to hang of his arm and take care of the people he didn't feel like talking to.
So you accepted this new life, eating up this role of socialite like it was made for you.
It was a chance to know people, to speak and make new friends, but you learned quickly that those people weren't there for that, and picked up on how mostly of the people who talked to you just wanted to climb up the social ladder and gain some extra points from your father.
He, even, introduced you to a couple of people that seemed close to your age, and you chatted with them, feeling extremely anxious because you weren't used to this, so it was weird to them seeing such a pretty woman, with your status and fortune, acting so shy and quiet in a place that your dad practically owned.
After a couple of hours, you learned the agenda. All you had to do was put on a fake smile, get them off your father's shoulders and pretend you were very interested in what they had to say, hiding your uncomfortable expression behind your glass of champagne, promising them that you would arrange a reunion with your father someday.
One of those nights, your father introduced you to someone, someone who you didn't pay much attention because he seemed to be uninterested too, only being there for the sake of his job.
"Pretty girl, come here" your father said, a cheerful tone of voice as grabbed you by the shoulder to get your attention, snapping you out of your train of thoughts. "I want you to meet my friend, Doctor Crane"
You looked at the man in front of your dad, his pale blue eyes already sizing you up discretely, looking at you up and down in a way that didn't go unnoticed by you, a shiver running down your spine as his eyes finally locked with yours.
You couldn't help but feel small under his gaze, your glass now forgotten in your left hand, the right one extended to take his and stretch it for a quick second, returning to your first position, his expression remaining serious.
"Nice to meet you" he spoke, his voice sounding like velvet in your eyes, not quite sensing the undertone behind it. "Your father told me wonders about you"
You grin, the irony of that sentence making you laugh a little, what wonders could your father know about you? But you kept your composure, the conversation not going any further, and you forgot about him fast enough, when in another of those annoying parties you met the love of your life — or so you thought.
That same night, when you went back home, you were thinking about spending the rest of your life with some guy that flirted with you at the bar, and Jonathan, prayed to whatever thing listening to him up there, that crossed your path with his again.
He practically obsessed with you, because it felt right. You were young, beautiful, wealthy and had a last name that could open even more doors for him, getting tired of saving Falcone's man of going to jail; you were an opportunity, tied to a nice pair of legs.
After a few weeks of stalking, it kinda broke his heart that naive as he expected you, you got married to the guy from the party; he told you then his name was Lewis, and now you doubted it that was even true.
You were finally going to get what you always wished for, a family, love. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect.
It was a dream that you were living in. A dream that shattered in front of you no longer than three months after.
After you contracted married with this man, you took care of the house, now learning all of these housewife duties that you didn't know anything about, but making your best effort to please him, to be the perfect woman ever created, departing from your old life and habits and adjusting them to his own.
You couldn't be more happy, regardless of your bad cooking, the bad-swiped floor and the half-done bed that welcomed you both every night, you finally had love.
It lasted three months. Your wholesome real life fantasy of a marriage destroyed when you found out, accidentally, that this man was just an employee of your dad, willing to get a promotion if he married you. At that moment, you didn't know who you hated more, if the bastard, or your dad who was literally bribing the bastard to love you.
But your dad only wanted to make you happy, tho.
You were embarrassed, not quite sure of how to tell this to Jonathan, because after all, he was there for you, just for the money your dad was paying him. Your cursed the day your dad became rich, because all of it was making you miserable and it felt like it wasn't going to stop.
At this point, a feeling of despite against you was growing within Jonathan, after a few weeks treating you, he quickly remembered why he didn’t chose this path of career, but remembering that he was there because of a major reason; a reason more important than your helpless cries for attention.
He was sick of you, all you ever did was complain in the commodity of your million dollar house, unaware that there were more important problems in the world. It isn’t completely your fault, Jonathan thought one day, you were just an ungrateful brat, and his work was to tame you, and he planned to do just that today.
"So," he startled you, narrowing his eyebrows, an expression in his face that you could only understand as concern. "remember, if you don't speak, I can't help you".
You chuckle and shift your weight in the chair, immediately feeling your eyes fill up with tears as you confronted the fact that you had to speak about it, right now. He was quick to offer you his handkerchief, as he always did and with shaky hands you took it, sniffling onto it, closing your eyes as you felt your whole body shake with each one of your cries.
You felt Jonathan put his hand on your knee, softy caressing the skin that his thumb could reach, opening your eyes and looking at his, Jonathan welcoming you with a pitying look. You put the tissue aside, both him being so close and his scent impregnated on the piece of fabric making you feel a little giddy, a little confused.
Why was your heart racing so much? He was your therapist, here to talk about your former husband.
Jonathan couldn't help but grin a little, knowing he was maybe breaking a rule here, touching you like this, being so close. He couldn't care less, after all, he wasn't here listening to you cry and bitch about your whole life for the sake of your well-being. He was here because he wanted you to break and get on your knees to him. Figuratively and literally.
"It's so embarrassing" you struggled to spit out "He didn't even love me, Doctor"
He hummed, dragging his chair so he was a little closer to you, you looked at him through your teary lashes and tried to keep it together, this wasn't the first time you cried in front of him, but the reason itself was enough to make you feel full of shame.
He didn't say anything, this being a motivation for you to continue.
"My dad was paying him" you murmured, cleaning the mascara off your cheeks. "It was all a lie"
The whole situation was absurd, what happened to you still felt like a sick joke they were playing on you, your dad and Lewis, probably waiting for the perfect moment to tell you the truth.
But that wasn't going to happen, right now the only thing that felt true to you was Jonathan. He set you up to that, and you blindly fell on his silly trap.
"Poor thing" he cooed you, moving his hand a little further up your thigh, noticing the goosebumps on your skin. A mastermind, that's how he felt. "How could they?"
That was all the mendacity he fed you with since you started seeing him, making you believe he was actually empathizing with you, full of loathe against everyone who hurt you, who dared to leave you alone, but now he was there, his task being to pretend to care.
"It's pathetic" you blurted out, leaning into his touch when his prying hand went up to your cheek. You really couldn't say anything more, crying against his hand like it was something you did every monday morning. "I'm so sad. I don't know what to do"
He shook his face, your eyes meeting his with a confused expression, black stained tears dropping on your lap and wetting his hand before he returned it and looked over his clipboard, pretending to think.
You were so vulnerable, ready for him to destroy. He finally got you where he wanted. He then explained you that you were so sad that it made you unaware of a lot of things, blinded by your own pity against yourself that every door that opened, you closed. It all came down to a thing; you needed a diagnosis.
He gave you a moment to process the information, ready to continue with his plan.
"Actually," he started, his tone now more firm, more strict, the one he used when you were approaching the end of the session. On the last one, he recommended you to touch yourself, to liberate oxytocin on your brain or something you really didn't understood.
It was almost evil from his side, he knew that your only thought while doing it would he him ordering you to do so.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such awful news, Y/N" he stated, making your heart skip a beat. "But I think you're sick"
You nearly gasped, the air got stuck in your throat, more tears gathering in your eyes. You lifted one of your hands to your chest, a million thoughts crossing your head as Jonathan's clever eyes examined your expression.
Bingo.
"Sick" you repeated after a moment, almost like you were making peace with the revelation. "How sick?"
It was an innocent question, your tone of voice shaking as your inferior lip trembled, holding it with your teeth in an attempt to not burst into tears again, your whole body feeling like it was going to break into a million peaces by how much you were shaking in the couch.
Jonathan was quick, standing from the chair he was on and taking a seat by your side, his hand swiftly placing in your knee. You looked at him confused, he never got this close, maybe your sickness was serious.
"What am I, Doctor?" you whispered, your eyes showing him a hint of fear that made him finally lose all his faked professionalism. "Depressed? Crazy?"
Both of you were dying of anticipation now; meanwhile you feared that you were going to get admitted to Arkham, Jonathan was seeing the golden ticket to the best future he could ever achieve, and all thanks to you.
"Oh, no, no" he purred, his hand making its way up to your thigh. "You're sick, not crazy"
You parted your lips as his hand moved more further, not really sure of what was happening, not daring to stop him, too scared of your mental health to think about anything else, not helping the way your legs started to part too.
A sudden gasp left your lips as his hand squeezed your tight, a smile you never saw on him appearing on his face. The crying stopped a moment ago, the surprise of having him so close making you go a little numb.
"I know what a girl like you needs" he said, almost sternly, like his hand wasn't centimeters away from your panties.
Was in that moment, that you knew this wasn’t about therapy anymore.
"You think so?" you whispered, your voice still shaky, but now for a whole different reason. "And what is it, Doctor?"
"To be fucked stupid"
It almost shocked you how he said that as it was a normal diagnosis, like he gave you a name of a medicine you could go and buy at any drugstore in town. You gulped and didn't move when his grip tightened on your leg, your face growing red.
A loud gasp escaped your lips when at your lack of response, Jonathan grabbed you hard by the jaw and forced you to look at him. Your eyes glistened with nothing but fear, your brows narrowing as you mumbled something that he really couldn't understand, and it wasn't like he wanted to.
"You're sick, Y/N" he repeated, more harshly this time, his hand moving your head as he spoke. "And I'm going to cure you"
He let go of your face to clasp his lips against yours, a kiss very far away from sweet, his mouth moving roughly against yours. You never had been kissed like this, so you tried to play it along, trying to show him some of the love you felt for him, that you thought you owed him.
But he didn't care if you felt loved during the kiss, trying to assert the dominance he held upon you, his hand now holding firmly the back of you neck to prevent you from pulling away.
It was a mess; your teeth clashed, drool was dripping from your chin as his tongue explored every space of your mouth, not leaving anywhere of it untouched. Your movements were a little stiff, unsure of what to do, trying to provide the sweetness that he lacked.
His hand moved to your the front of your neck and squeezed it a little, making you yelp in surprise, the sound muffled by his mouth. You tried to get away from the kiss, confused about his rough actions against you, a little scared of him even, almost like you didn’t trust him every little part of your brain in this same couch for the last couple of months.
But then it clicked on your foggy brain, he knew you, perfectly— you only knew his name, you didn’t know what this man was capable of.
You could only move a few centimeters away from his hungry mouth, your lips parted as tears welled in your eyes from the pressure he was applying to your neck.
“Stop” you managed to stutter, your breath mixing with his. “I can’t- breathe”
You doubted that he listened to you, your voice not coming out of your throat at all and getting stuck in your larynx, your voice-box completely muffled by his strong grip.
“Shut up, brat” he spitted, his tone sounding full of abhor, your eyes wide open as you felt the air leaving your body and your lungs starting to burn. “Always getting what you want”
You weakly placed one of your hands around his wrist, another attempt of gasp elicited from your agape mouth as he lifted his other hand and choked you with both, something in your dizzy mind telling you that he was possessed.
“Crying all the time- complaining” he continued, not caring if you were listening, the suffocation being to much to bare now. “So selfish”
And maybe he was.
Your brain was filled with fear, wondering how it all went from a kiss to this— almost getting killed by your therapist in your couch. You opened your eyes to meet his, feeling like your chest was on fire as there wasn’t any air flowing in, seeing how the blue of Jonathan’s eyes has darkened and his lips were parted as well, the muscles of his jaw twitching as he choked you to death.
Your eyebrows narrowed together in terror as you noticed that familiar tingly sensation in your lower belly and your thighs clenching together. Maybe it was something about him exercising this power over you, how you felt so feeble under his touch, that was probably leaving bruises on your neck for you to carry and show around what he was making you do it.
You didn’t have enough time to think about it, you were practically dying.
“And you are enjoying this?” he said with an amused tone, probably noticing how your thighs fragily contracted against one another.
You felt yourself slowly lose your consciousness when finally the relief came and the air started to flow again to your desperate lungs, taking long and loud puffs of air when his hand let go of your neck. Your erratic breath was interrupted by a loud moan that escaped you when Crane yanked you by your hair and shoved you to the floor.
He was quick yo position you between his legs, looking at you through his unfixed glasses, giving you a twisted smile that made you quiver in fear, that growing wet patch on your panties making you feel like a really sick girl.
“Doctor-” you mumbled, closing your eyes as he pulled your hair, withdrawing a mewl off your mouth. “Hurts”
“You talk when I tell you to talk” he snickered, adjusting the way his fingers gripped your hair. You thought that he might just pull out the strand he was tugging. “I’m sick of your whining”
You felt more tears well up in your eyes; not sure if it was from the pain in your head or how his words felt like a knife that landed right on your heart. You were confused, sad, angry— a little hot, too.
“I pay you yo listen to me” you said, your voice so shaky you were lucky he could understand you. You wished he didn’t understand you.
Another sort of moan left your lips as a hard slap made a landing in your cheek, your face turned to the side because of the impact. You closed your eyes in disbelief, a cry coming out as you felt helpless, wondering if this was some exposure therapy he was experimenting on you.
He repeated himself, instructing you to talk only when you were told so, nodding in defeat as you accepted whatever this was and continued to play along with Jonathan’s sick fantasy of controlling you, without even knowing it.
You looked at him with nothing but inquietude, the look in his eyes giving you the foreboding that nothing good was about to happen now, frightened of what we would do to you.
He didn’t show any hints of letting go of your hair anytime soon, just holding it firmly to keep you looking at him through your heavy lashes, a wicked grin on his smug face.
“Let’s give that whining mouth of yours a good use” he said, and you gulped, understanding what he wanted and quivering in fear, not really understanding why the sticky sensation between your legs grew.
“Undo my pants” he commanded, and you stayed still, your eyes not leaving his even when another slap landed on your tear-wet face. “Do as you’re told, brat. This might be your only cure”
You couldn’t help but sob a little, his tone sounding so definitive, so professional. Your trembling hands reached his belt and unbuckling it ungracefully, taking longer than he expected, you heard him chuckle as you unbuttoned his pants afterwards, then putting your hands back in front of your lap.
“C’mon” he pulled your hair again, causing you to moan in pain. “Don’t make me tell you what to do”
You looked at him again in nothing but shame, trying to resist to this humiliating request of his, but complying it anyways. He said he was going to cure you, but now you doubted it, right now, you only wanted this to be over.
With a last look at his eyes you returned your attention to the growing bulge in his slacks, the shame in your brain being present at all times, not quite helping the way your eyes were fixated on his clothed member. You were quick to free him out after your staring earned you a other harsh pull of hair, your lips turned into a line when his cock slapped his abdomen, causing his dress shirt to wrinkle a little.
“Go on, Y/N” he encouraged you, as you looked at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him for mercy, knowing that even if you screamed it at him, he just wouldn’t listen. “This isn’t about what you want, anymore. Is about what you need”
A tear slid from your eyes and disappeared down your cheek when his free hand placed the tip of his hard cock on your parted lips, gesturing you to take it and not waste more of his time— more than you already did.
“Open up, whore” he said under his breath, using your hair as a device to move your head and help you shove his length down your throat. You complied, the tears in your eyes now soaking in you cheeks by the effort that you were making trying to welcome his thick shaft down your mouth.
You were sure you scratched him with your teeth a few times as he bobbed your head up and down with his strong hand, manhandling you without care for his own pleasure. You placed your hands on his knees, trying not to gag, but when his tip touched the bottom of your throat, you couldn’t help it.
You cried as you felt suffocated again, now for a whole different reason, a more humiliating one, and you almost wished he killed you then. His hips buckled everytime your lips reached the base of his cock, the room filled with the sounds of your mouth and saliva coating his shaft and the soft moans that came out of his poisoned lips.
“Take it, whore” he said, his voice now husky and distorted by the pleasure, the pain that your teeth accidentally inflicted on him turning him even more. “God- you are horrible at this”
He chuckled between heavy breaths, pulling you by the hair and releasing his cock from your mouth, a vulgar pop filling both of your ears at the sudden separation of your lips and his member. Your eyes looked at the floor, feeling such a shame that the mere thought of meeting his face with your fearful face made you cringe, the pulsating pain on the back of your head making you dizzy.
“You can’t suck dick properly” he said, his tone sounding like he was making fun of you. “No wonder why your husband left you. You’re just pathetic”
You finally rose up your face to look at that insufferable smile of his, ignoring the way his cock was still hanging there in front of you, almost brushing your nose. His fingers finally untangled from your hair and giving you some sort of solace, the consolation that this traumatic session was over.
Maybe the remedy was worse than the sickness itself.
“Jonathan, stop it, plea-”
Your imploration was completely ignored, followed by another slap on your wet cheek that made you cry even more, not understanding how this man could’ve been the same one who made you felt loved and finally listened. You fell for a lie once again.
“Get on the couch” he simply said, his words were like a bucket of cold water fell on you. “Stop the bitching, don’t want to hear it”
“And I’m your doctor. Not Jonathan” he reminded you, making you feel even more ashamed.
You did as he told, again, half-standing from the floor and sitting next to him, trying to take as much space from him as you could before he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, your face growing red as his face was now centimeters away from yours.
“You look so beautiful when you cry” he whispered, caressing your face but trying to nor wipe the tears away, almost like he was admiring you. It made you melt into his touch, glad that his kind demeanor was there again. Even if his words made you cringe— and the fact that his cock was still out, you felt your heart grew warmer by the way he tenderly touched you.
It didn’t last much longer, when his lips twitched into a malicious smile and went down to nibble your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses around the bruised skin and bitting where his fingers hurt you previously, making your fingers wrap on his hair and cry for mercy, trying for him to stop hurting you this much.
“Shut up, stupid brat” he repeated that same insult, making you swallow your cries, closing your eyes in disbelief as he continued to injure your already suffering skin.
You arched your back in surprise when all of the sudden his hands reached for your breasts, groping your tits like his life depending on it, stimulating you through the fabric of your shirt, but all you felt was fear and anger, impotence flowing through your veins because you just couldn’t scream and push him away, fear was freezing you on the spot.
The worst part? You maybe didn’t wanted to push him away. Because maybe if he gets what he wants now you would be cured and he’ll be back to normal, returning you the sweet Doctor Crane that you met once, not this monster that was groping you like a piece of meat.
He clicked his tongue and dropped both of his hands to spread your legs open, forcing your back to drop onto the hand rester of the couch. You looked at him with big eyes, your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest and scream to Jonathan that enough was enough, you just couldn’t take any of this anymore.
But your heart stayed there, between your lungs that seemed incapable to hold any air, making your breathing erratic. So nobody screamed Jonathan to stop, and he continued with his profanation against your persona— your dignity.
He bit his lip at the sight of your fucked-up face, your legs open as it showed him the dark patch on your baby blue panties, darting his eyes from your half-exposed crotch to your teary eyes.
“God, keep crying and I might come now” he growled, lowering his face to meet your pussy, kissing it through your underwear, making you mewl, closing your eyes at the sudden attention your core was getting.
You felt embarrassed at how much you enjoyed when he moved the fabric to the side and started making out with your cunt, swallowing your fluids like a starved man.
“So wet” he mumbled against your labia, the vibration making your eyes roll back, bitting your lip to prevent any moan to come out; he was raping you, why did he make you enjoy it? “I bet you like this, to be treated like a whore”
You shook your head, more tears falling out of your eyes as you felt nothing else but humiliation, pleasure washing over your body everytime his tongue brushed your clit, your back arched against nothing.
“You like it?” he said, finally pulling out and pushing his body up so his face was in front of yours, his cock grazing against your now stimulated pussy, a gasp leaving your lips, a gasp that quickly turned into a hurting moan when his hand slapped you again, this time in your throbbing cunt. “Answer me”
“I- I do” you whispered, gripping his shoulders when you felt him align the head of his member with your whole, scared of how it was going to fit. You had trouble taking it when he face-fucked you, how the fuck it was going to fit down there?
“I’m going to fuck you so good” he whispered between pants, jerking himself off before entering you. “You’re going to forget that pathetic husband of yours”
You couldn’t help but cry, trying to push him off by the shoulders, a terrified look on your face. “It won’t fit, Doctor” you pleaded, a crooked grin on his face as you keep on calling him that. “I beg you, don’t-”
“Yes, beg me” he said, starting to push his member inside you with a slow but relentlessly pace, not giving you enough time to adjust, just to scream and hit him weakly on the chest, face and shoulders before ge grabbed your hands and pinned them down, on the sides of your body. “I’m going to cure you- do you so good”
His voice was low, as he barely could speak when he felt just how tight you were, your walls hugging his cock just the right way, his pulsating head making your mind dizzy, the stinging pain starting to be forgotten.
But when he slid out and entered back it, the hardness of his movement made your insides burn with pain, a loud cry echoing in the walls of the living room as he started to trust into your pussy with a fast pace, not caring at all if you felt good.
He snapped his hips against yours with an animalistic force, growls escaped from his mouth every time his cock was welcomed by the warmth of your stretch whole, the sensation making him go even more feral, making you cry more.
He let go of one of your hands and grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at his eyes as he fucked you vigorously, the blue on his iris not existent anymore, only his widely dilated pupils meeting yours, your blurred vision distinguishing the depraved expression in his face.
“You- so tight” he snarled, his voice barely audible, covered by the sound of skin slapping and your loud cries. “I bet your stupid husband didn’t fuck you like this”
You felt nothing but shame as you felt his cock now sliding in and out more easily, the wetness of your cunt growing as he spoke to you like that, that familiar heat flourishing in your lower belly as his words degraded you, your cries quickly becoming moans.
“This was all you needed- fuck” he said, his spit splashing your face as he talked, his words full of disdain. “A good dick, that’s all it takes to keep bitches like you quiet” You nodded, thinking that if you agreed he would stop. How wrong you were.
In a quick movement Jonathan took his cock out and spun you around, not giving you time to get on your ass up by laying your chest down before he stabbed your hole again, pushing your skirt all the way up to see how his pelvis came into collision with your ass.
You were moaning like a bitch in heat now, sure that the maids were listening, not really caring about it anymore. Jonathan was fucking you nice and hard, your mouth wide open as his tip brushed your cervix, screaming to him to keep it right there.
“I’m close” he said, pulling your hair back to press his chest to your back, his other hand going down to play with your swollen clit, wanting your to come around his cock like the slut he knew you were. “Come with me, you whore”
“Yes” you moaned, your tongue out as his cock hit the right spots, making your hips to move against his, grinding against his hand and dick, feeling your wetness drip down to your thighs. “Yes, yes, I want to”
He laughed, approaching your ear with his tongue to bite it, leaving a long and wet kiss underneath it that made you grow hotter, your eyes closed as you let him use you; the only thought in your mind being him and his wonder-working cock.
Truth was, he was fucking you stiffly, every slam of his hips stronger than the last one, but you were so deprived of touch, so dick-starved, that even if Jonathan was fucking you like a lifeless doll, only for the sake of his pleasure, you loved it, even when it hurt you.
“I’m going to fill you up” he said against your ear, his hand leaving your clit unattended as he grabbed your hip to increase the velocity of his thrusts, ramming your hole like a demented man, making your head drop against his shoulder and scream at the ceiling, now knowing what he meant by curing you.
“Going to get you pregnant” he said, more to himself than anything “so you don’t have to bitch about being alone anymore”
You opened your eyes with terror, you didn’t want children, you were so young. The idea made you frightened, the moaning now sounding like little nos and pull outs, but Jonathan didn’t listen.
“Doctor please, please, pull out” you pleaded, reaching for his hips and trying to push him away, one of his hands slapping your ass and pulling you down by your shoulder blade so you wouldn’t fight anymore. “Doctor Crane please”
“I will fucking fill you up, Y/N” he chanted, laughing at the idea of your round belly and your swollen tits, carrying his baby all day and feeling all worked up and needy all day, only waiting for him to fuck you all day. “You won’t be alone again. You won’t be sad again”
Then you realized it.
When he came, your hot walls creamed every single drop of his cum, making his thrusts sloppy and slow, his moans filling your ears as you sobbed under his touch, feeling his seed paint your walls and load your insides with his sperm.
That was your cure.
His hot release that now flooded inside your leaking cunt, that was your so-promised antidote. He took away your solitude by giving you his and yours firstborn, a bastard baby that would give you the company that you lacked.
You felt him chuckle as he rode out his high, the chase of his own climax made you forget yours, so now there you were, your swollen cunt looking for its release while his rested among your insides calmly, like it was meant to be.
He didn’t pull out immediately, taking his time to appreciate the sight of your skirt resting in your hips all rolled up, your bruised neck and messy hair, the way your ass was exposed to him by the way he had you arching your back. All for him— for him to wreck.
He pulled out and rolled his eyes when you started crying, now being annoying instead of hot. You sat on the couch and saw him button his pants and fix his hair, hissing when you felt nothing but pain growing in your worn-out pussy. You explained through your weak voice how he ruined your life, that he was the worst person you’ve ever met and that now you had to carry the product of his sick and twisted rapist-fantasy, even tried to hit him, but your pathetic tantrum only gained you another slap in the face, and a stern look.
When he tried to stand up and leave, you grabbed him by the wrist and begged him not to, he couldn’t just leave you, not now, not ever.
“Don’t be so ungrateful” he said, a smile that made you feel nothing but trepidation in his face. “You’ll never be alone again”
You couldn’t help but feel scared. Scared of him, of what just happened, of what’s going to happen next, scared for your future son with this evil specie of a man.
When you continued to cry, and he pulled you for a hug as he assured you that he would never leave you; and how could he? He had a long life of success waiting for him now, giving a girl of your status his last name, his children. Oh, it’s going to be wonderful, he just needed to tame you and make you the perfect slave for him, and that wasn’t going to be hard.
You were sure that you’ll never be loved, but at least now Jonathan was going to be with you. You’ll never be alone again.
Tumblr media
thanks for reading. w/love, fenina;)
taglist: @lovesickxcherries @genini @ilunapb @ostricx @devotedlyshadowytheorist
if you want to be added let me know, it’ll be my pleasure🫶🏻
3K notes · View notes
idkwhatever580 · 4 months
Text
Where did you learn that?! Pt. 2
Tumblr media
Part one
My Masterlist
Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader
Prompt: the three things Natasha wants from y/n.
Warnings: SMUT, cursing, pole dancing, degradation, teasing, praise, jealousy, small spit kink, trophy wife y/n, possessive nat.
Disclaimer: I cannot control what you consume. You’ve been warned. Also the person in the videos is not me and I do not own the videos :)
“One- you’re gonna get fucked tonight. Two- I’m gonna need a personal show now. And three- I want at least one dance at every party. I want everyone to see what a good slut you are on the pole. Then I want them all to be sad that you’re all mine.”
A/N: I’m gonna put 1&2 together
Y/n’s pov
1. & 2.
Tumblr media
“You’re getting fucked tonight” & “I’m gonna need a personal show now”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone left the room no longer worried about what the party would be like tomorrow.
(Let’s face it. Tony is totally having a party to show this off)
So Natasha and I stay and I grab one of the chairs for her to sit on. She sits down and I tell her to wait.
I run to our room and change into a skimpier outfit and run back with a robe. Then I slowly strip it off and walk over to a speaker that I had Friday connect to my phone and press play. The music starts playing and I saunter over to the pole.
I make eye contact with Natasha and she is grabbing the sides of the chair like her life depends on it.
I do some floor work and then I stand back up with a sexy sway of my hips and decide to do some more pole tricks.
I really just go with the flow and I don’t worry about what I’m going to do next. Whenever I anticipate things I usually mess up.
(A/N: It only lets me put in one video per post so I’m gonna have to link the rest 😭🔫)
Watch this and continue reading :)
I spin around the pole and finish off with a nice cute little close. Just kidding. I do a flip, then I end up facing away from Natasha so I slowly turn around to see her actually fighting demons.
She looks a little silly right now honestly. All tense and needy just from a dance. No better than a man. But I saunter over to her and straddle her lap and lean into her neck.
I leave a few soft kisses on her neck and she lets out a shaky breath. I chuckle a bit and say
“Needy?”
She shakes her head no being stubborn. And I look at her with a raised eyebrow.
Her face is a bit red and I lean into her ear and nibble it and say
“It’s okay baby. Do you wanna go to our room?”
She nods her head desperately and I get up and grab her hand.
I forgot that I don’t have decent clothes on and she stops me to grab the robe.
I chuckle at her possessiveness. She’s kinda funny. She wants to show me off but then doesn’t at the same time.
She drags me to our room and locks the door and slams me into the door.
“I can’t wait to have so much fun with you”
I giggle a bit and say
“Hmm I don’t know about that one.”
She raises her eyebrows at my unusual dominance and I say
“Whatever I want. Remember?”
She remembers what I said earlier and groans knowing I like to make the most of when I’m in control. Which is almost never.
I drag her by her shirt to the bed and push her down. Then I sit on her lap. I pull off her shirt and quickly go to kiss her again.
I let her have some sense of control, knowing she sometimes spirals when she doesn’t, and let her dominate the kiss.
I moan into her mouth and then suck on her tongue a bit. Then I grab her cheeks hard and force her mouth open. She looks up at me and knows what I want her to do.
So she sticks out her tongue a bit and I gather some of my saliva and spit it into her mouth. She moans and swallows it after tasting me and I go back to kissing her.
After a while she starts to get needy and I pull away to breath a bit. I slowly take off her bra and stare at her chest.
“Please”
She whimpers out. I widen my eyes. She doesn’t ever beg for me so she must want me bad. I smirk and say
“Please what?”
“Please touch me. Touch them. Touch anything!”
I smile and kiss her pout away and then I kiss down her jaw and take both her breasts in my hands.
I softly knead them and tweak her nipples a bit and she jerks a tad. I make a dark hickey on her neck so that people know she is mine.
She reaches out for me and I grab her hands and put them above her head and I say
“You know you don’t get to touch me without permission baby.
She pouts and I mock her and say
“Ohh does my baby not like it when she gets treated how she treats me?”
She blushes and looks away knowing she can’t argue with me on that and I smirk.
I start to trail my kisses down her body and I get to her pants and look at her for permission.
She nods her head desperately and I yank her shorts off.
I immediately get in between her legs. Every ounce of my wants to dive right in, but I want to tease her. So I hold back. I kiss her thighs softly
God her thighs.
I could lie between them all day. Forever. They’re like my happy place whether it be doing something like this, or simply laying between them while we watch movies. I just love her thighs.
I give her thighs a quick squeeze.
They have so much muscle and honestly she could kill me right now if she wanted. She’s broken a watermelon with them before. I want her to break me.
I snap out of my thoughts when I hear a whine come from her. So I look up and say
“Hi”
She smiles temporarily forgoing the need to have my touch on hers. She replies with a
“Hi baby”
I smile and get back into it
“Do you want something?”
She whines and grips the sheets tightly making her knuckles go white. She nods her head and i say
“Words baby”
I give her a soft blow of air where she wants me most and she quickly says
“Please I need you. I need you to fuck me”
I smile and say
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you beg for me.”
I kiss her thigh again and before she can say some quip back, I dive in.
I immediately tend to her aching clit and she moans.
I move my hand to trail it through her folds. Then I stick one finger in and pull away at her moan.
“You like that?”
She nods her head and subconsciously moves her hand into my hair. She grips it and moves my face back towards her.
Usually I’d pull away and mess with her but she really needs this right now and who am I to take that from her?
So I let it slide. I keep eating her out like it’s my last meal and I slip in another finger.
Between my tongue pleasuring her clit, and my fingers pumping into her, Natasha knows she won’t last long. So she clenches on me and says
“I’m so close”
She moans and I say
“You wanna cum?”
She nods her head frantically and I momentarily think about making her work for it, but I ultimately decide that she deserves a little reward.
“Cum whenever you want baby”
She moans and a soft string of ‘thank yous’ leave her lips. I smirk at the fact that she is thanking me even before she has come.
after a few more pumps I shove my fingers deep inside her and suck on her swollen bud and she stiffens up with a moan and cums all over me. Her thighs tighten around my head and I start to get a bit light headed, but I don’t stop. This is like heaven. This would be a cool way to die.
I let her ride out her high and I crawl up leaving a trail of kisses in my wake. And then I hover above her, just admiring her blissed out face. Usually she can take more than this, but I think tonight is different so I wait for her to come back completely and I smile when she looks at me with a dopey smile.
“Hi”
I giggle at her words that are like mine from before. And I say
“Hi baby”
Copying hers. I kiss her lips and when we pull away she says
“Thank you baby”
I smile and say
“Anything for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/n’s Pov
3.
Tumblr media
“I want everyone to see what a good slut you are on the pole”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lights dim and I know it’s about to be my queue to go.
Tony had a special feature on the stage for the stripper poles he made. There is a part that sinks down so that I can stand on it and it will raise me up when the time is right.
Only exclusive people are allowed to this party, but I know there’s gonna be some hot shots.
Natasha made sure that Tony gave me the middle pole. The one right smack in the middle of the whole area. There are other poles scattered around with other equally beautiful girls prepared to go up.
All we’ve had to wait for is the right time.
So I look at the time and I see the lights dim immensely. It’s almost completely dark minus the red leds coming from the stage to light me up. Everyone in the audience goes silent, waiting anxiously for the strippers to come up.
When I dance, I kind of forget where I am. My surroundings disappear and all I think about is Natasha. This is for her.
My stage starts to lift up. I’m only having one dance tonight since I don’t wanna show off too much, so I have my replacement waiting for me to get down so she can go up for the rest of the night.
Once I’m completely out I look around at the dimly lit faces. All eyes are on me. I grab onto my pole when the music starts and I zone in.
Watch this vid :)
I swing around the pole and people are in awe of me. The noise picks up a bit but I keep dancing nevertheless. I decide to pick up the pace and do some power moves.
Here’s another :)
I haven’t done this much pole in so long so I’m becoming a bit tired, but thankfully my stamina isn’t shot since I am training a lot with the avengers. I slow it down slightly for the next few moves and I can tell it’s coming to an end for me.
Last one for this part I swear :)
After these moves I feel a slight rush and decide to finish it off with some handstands and floor work.
Floor work is always a good closer in my opinion
I lied I found another perfect one :)))
After that last move the song ends and Friday knows her queue to bring the stage down slowly as I wave to my girlfriend. The only one I cared about this whole time.
She smirks from her seat on the couch as I slowly disappear and switch with Bianca. I give her air kisses and say
“Have fun b!”
She smiles and says “go get your girl y/n”
I smile and shake my head then I put on a tight dress just to cover up more.
Then I walk out into the party and make a b-line for nat.
I come up behind her and she turns her head slightly knowing it’s me. I say
“I baby”
Then she smirks and says
“You did so good. Everyone was ogling you.”
I smirk and say
“Who cares. I want to know what you think. None of their opinions matter to me”
She smiles and says
“You wanna know what I think?”
I nod my head eagerly and she moves her hand behind my neck to pull me closer and she says
“I think…”
Then she kisses me a bit.
She pulls away slightly and my mouth is open a bit ready for her to lick me or something and she does exactly that. She licks me softly and turns around and kisses me deeply.
Then we pull away for air and I come around the couch to sit in her lap.
I spend the rest of the night places in her arms. She talks to everyone else but I’m too tired to do that so I just rest my eyes and head on her shoulder.
I am half way asleep when Natasha nudges me and I perk up a bit and softly say
“Huh?”
She smiles and says
“You tired baby girl?”
I nod my head softly and nuzzle my nose into her neck. I don’t care who sees this. Natasha loves it when everyone knows I’m hers. And if someone tries to say something I know she’ll protect me.
She kisses my head and says
“What do you say we go to our room and cuddle?”
I nod my head and pull away with a raised eyebrow. Usually she has ulterior motives but it doesn’t seem that way tonight. So I agree and we head back to our room.
She helps me get undressed and puts me in my pajamas and then I go and cuddle into the bed while she changes herself.
“You did really good today baby”
She whispers into my ear when she gets in bed next to me.
“Thank you. I love you”
She smiles and says
“I love you too detka, I love you too”
After a moment of silence she says
“Sleep baby. I’ve got you”
I am safe. And I am protected. So I rest assured and fall asleep in my lovers arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I was struggling a lot with this one because I couldn’t find the energy to write it. But I set it down for a day and came back to it this morning and look at me now. I finished it. I’m so sorry if it’s bad.
@lvinhs
@ihartnat
587 notes · View notes
nicka-nell · 17 days
Note
wow ok read the recent request and I gotta say that was pretty heavy. Can we have a similar request but with a light angst with the remaining characters ??? I like the previous request
Hi, of course! :)) I've had really little time lately but I hope you like it anyway. I would say that all three contain rather mild angst compared to the previous ones. So I hope you enjoy it more. 💚
Tumblr media
Regretting their actions
Tumblr media
Pairing: Kuroo x, Ushijima x, Sakusa x reader
Warning: angst to fluff
Part 1 | Part 2 (End)
Tumblr media
Kuroo finally made it. He has a job he enjoys. A job that also pays well financially and provides stability.
However, this job also involves some overtime and company trips.
In the beginning, he tried to keep to the working hours as much as possible. After all, he didn’t want to neglect you. However, the overtime increased year by year.
You often tried to gently point out to him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, but most of the time, your remarks were met with anger and ended in an argument.
At some point, you stopped and tried to suppress his increasingly frequent absences. Even if it hurt you.
Sometimes you lie in bed, looking at the empty space next to you, before the screen of your phone lights up and the usual message from Kuroo appears. “Sorry, kitten, but I can’t make it home today. But I’ll be there tomorrow at the end of the day.”
A message that raises so many doubts in you. What if he’s not at work at all and is seeing another woman? You’ve hardly had any time together in the last few months. Just a good morning kiss before work... that was all.
Does he no longer loves you? Does he possibly have a girlfriend and is leading a double life? No, Kuroo wouldn’t do that.
You’ve already reminded Kuroo three times this week that it’s your niece’s birthday today and that she’s looking forward to finally seeing him again. Because your niece loves Kuroo. Your boyfriend kept telling you before work that he had the date in his calendar and that he would definitely be home in time for the two of you to go to your niece’s together. You believed him. After all, the date was important to you. But you soon realize that this was just another lie. An empty promise.
Because when you look at your watch, it’s ten minutes before departure... and Kuroo still hasn’t arrived. He didn’t even reply to your “I’m looking forward to this afternoon.” You wait another four minutes, but nothing happens. In the end, you take the train to your niece’s house. Alone, without Kuroo. Because he doesn’t answer your messages or your calls.
Your little niece is so sad when she opens the door and looks up at you, realizing that you have come alone. It’s not that she doesn’t like you, but her dear uncle Kuroo always does so much nonsense with her. What did she once said? The aunts and grannies are there to go shopping and with the uncles and grandpas you have fun. Not exactly nice, but whatever. 
She looks at you with sad eyes. “Isn’t uncle Kuroo coming? Doesn’t uncle Kuroo like me anymore?” she asks tearfully as you try to calm her down somehow. It takes a long time for her to stop crying, and that on her birthday. And as if that wasn’t enough, you also get asked by your brother and your parents if everything is all right with you and your boyfriend. Whether you are still together at all. Because even at the last events, you were always there alone. When they passed by your home, only you were ever present. 
“No, no, everything’s fine. Tetsu’s just really busy today,” you reply with a forced smile, even though you don’t know where you stand as a couple right now. Can you even call what the two of you have a relationship?
As you head home in the evening, the apartment is still empty, just as expected. You sigh as you put your bag down and go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. The apartment seems so bitter as you lie down under the cold sheets, but you don’t care. You don’t even look at your phone anymore, because you know that Kuroo hasn’t texted you anyway. Nor do you mind that the bed is empty. Because that has also become a habit by now. Just then, you realize that tears are suddenly running down your cheeks. Yet you don’t even bother to wipe them away because no one will see them anyway.
Kuroo curses as he looks at his watch. His day had been stressful. So stressful that he didn’t even have time to look at his phone or check the time. Only when it got darker outside did he realize that he had once again worked too long. 
“Shit,” he curses again as he stands in front of the entrance door. Should he go back to get flowers for you? After all, he promised you he wouldn’t work so late. No, never mind. Staying away any longer will only upset you more.
“Hey kitten, I’m sorry I was gone so long again. I know I said that-” but when Kuroo enters the living room, the light is off. You’re not in the kitchen either. Have you gone to bed already? He walks quietly towards the bedroom, but his hand stops on the door handle when he hears you sniffle.
“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately moving past the bed to your side to kneel in front of it. Only now do you realize that Kuroo has returned home. You look at him almost empty-eyed. “Nothing...” you reply and want to turn away from him, but his hand holds onto your shoulder.
“Don’t say nothing when you’re obviously crying. Is it because I’m here so late again? I’m really sorry... I’ve completely lost track of time. I’m trying-”
“I suppose you’ve forgotten my niece’s birthday? She cried bitterly today... and not only that. I was asked today if we’re still together because you’ve never been to celebrations lately. And honestly? I don’t even know myself...” You say in frustration and watch Kuroo’s eyes suddenly widen.
Today was your niece’s birthday... You had told him several times during the week and yet he had forgotten. Kuroo doesn’t even know how to answer you. There is no answer that can please you. Because Kuroo has completely fucked up. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. 
“Maybe we should really break-”
“No, no don’t say that. I know I fucked up. I know I promised you I’d work less overtime and be there for you more often. I know I didn’t stick to any of that. But please. I can change.” His answer interrupts yours, his voice soft and yet so panicked as he looks at you pleadingly. But you can’t help but laugh in frustration. “I’ve already asked my brother... I can stay with him for a while.”
You see the fear in his face as he tries to struggle for words. His shoulders begin to shake before he opens his mouth. Kuroo has no arguments to defend himself. In the end, he just failed. Made you sad. Neglected you. It had to get that far before he finally understood that. But when he looks at your sad face, he knows that he has no right to stop you.
“Yeah... if that’s what you want... I don’t want to stop you... make you any more miserable.” He replies dejectedly before squeezing your shoulder a little tighter to stand up to leave you alone in the bedroom. To give you the tranquility that you would prefer over his presence. But his legs won’t let him go any further as he stops in front of the door, just a step away from the hallway. 
Instead of leaving the room, he turns in your direction, switches on the big light and goes back to your bedside. “No, I can’t do that. I know I don’t have the right, but I just can’t let you go. I have neglected you. I have neglected us. And although you reminded me several times, I forgot your niece’s birthday. I don’t even want to imagine how sad she was that I wasn’t there, or how sad you must have been that I couldn’t keep my promise again. I am sorry that I have once again failed as a boyfriend. I know I probably look like the biggest asshole and my words sound like lies to you. But please... I love you and I mean it when I say I’m sorry. I enjoy my job, even if it is stressful. But I’ve probably lost sight of the most important thing, and that’s you. Please... please, if there’s still a little bit of hope, tell me how to make it right.” Kuroo says, looking you in the eye with determination, even though he is struggling to keep his composure.
You sit up in bed and look down at him, still kneeling in front of you. You love him, but what’s the point if he can’t keep his promises anyway? Still, when he looks at you like that… with these sad eyes… as if he’s about to break apart… “I’m staying with my brother for a week from tomorrow... I need a clear head. So use this week to think about how you can set things right. And maybe... maybe there will still be a future for us.” You answer him more coldly than you actually wanted to and look over at the empty side of the bed. “And now go to bed... there’s no point sleeping on the sofa in the living room. It’ll only make your back ache.” you add, before crawling back under the covers and closing your eyes. Not waiting to see if Kuroo actually lies down next to you or not.
The week you spend with your brother is like a wake-up call for Kuroo. A reminder that he needs to change something.
He writes to you every day before he leaves for work. A simple “Good morning, I hope you have a good start to the day” and in the evening he always writes to you when he’s on his way home.
Nevertheless, overall he leaves you in peace. Just like you wanted.
After the week you spent with your brother, you now stand in front of the entrance to your own home and take a deep breath. Wondering if Kuroo is home yet.
He should actually be at home. After all, his working hours are over. Did he keep his promise? You open the door and step inside. The apartment looks exactly the same as it did when you left it a week ago. Tidy, clean. Almost as if no one lived here. And as you might expect, Kuroo’s shoes are also missing. So nothing has changed after all. Standing in the hallway, you laugh in frustration and shake your head as you suddenly hear a key in the door lock and Kuroo enters.
A little surprised to see you, his eyes widen. “H-Hey...” he says almost shyly as he stands in front of you. Kuroo has a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a bag of groceries in the other. “I thought... maybe we could cook together and then... talk afterwards. That’s why I went grocery shopping after work, but I guess most people do it after work. It was really crowded...” he clicks his tongue and tilts his head to the side with a somewhat strained smile.
So he did finish work on time? “And the flowers? Are they there for cooking too?” you ask, unconsciously breaking the tense atmosphere between you. Kuroo just rolls his eyes and you see the tips of his ears turn red as he hands you the bouquet. “Of course not. They’re for you... for the best woman in the world.” His last words are quiet, but you hear them well.
Kuroo and you cook together, even if it’s a bit strange at first.
You both don’t quite know what to say or how to behave.
But while you wait for your food to be ready, Kuroo speaks up, pushes a chair back and asks you to take a seat at the dining table before sitting opposite you and taking your hands in his.
He tells you that he has only worked one hour of overtime this week. That he has applied for an assistant so that he can hand over some of his work and therefore work less overtime.
He tells you about all this in such an excited tone, as if you’ve just had your first date and he’s asking you out. Kuroo seems to be making a real effort...
“You know, there are even therapists who deal with people who work too much and-” says Kuroo, but you interrupt him directly. “Tetsurou... I’m not asking you to go to a therapist. If what you’ve said is true, then... that’s a good start.” His posture relaxes abruptly at your statement before he grips your hands tighter again and rests his head on them, sighing with relief. He had fully expected you to draw a line today after all the lonely nights he had given you. After all the empty promises. And here you both are, sitting together, and he can’t believe how good-natured you are. “That means... you’ll give me another chance?” he asks, but doesn’t lift his head from your hands.
“One last one... so don’t mess it up Tetsurou.” you reply much more gently this time.
Tumblr media
You’ve been together with Ushijima for a long time. You know his personality, that he tends to be quiet, sometimes blunt, and doesn’t talk much. Nevertheless, his lack of words sometimes makes you uneasy. 
Something that Ushijima often can’t understand, because after all, that’s how you met. It usually ends with you just nodding off at some point and saying that you must have been imagining things and you just pretend that nothing happened.
But lately he’s been so quiet again. Even more distant than before.
Whenever he comes home from training, he goes straight to the kitchen to make himself a protein shake. Then straight to the bathroom to put his sports clothes in the washing machine and then gets ready for bed. Somewhere in between, he greets you with an almost indifferent “hello”.
You know that Ushijima is a little different, that his communication sometimes falls short. But his current behavior is unsettling even for you.
Has he perhaps met someone new? Does he no longer love you?
No... you don’t want to have thoughts like that. And yet you have them, and yet they don’t stop you from asking Ushijima this one question when he’s about to go to bed. 
“Be honest Toshi... do you have another person you see next to me? Well... I don’t mean friends, but... a potential love interest?” The question slips out a little more reproachfully than you would have liked.
Ushijima looks at you with wide eyes as he puts on a T-shirt to go to bed. He can’t believe you actually asked him that. He has enough stress at the moment with the upcoming championship games. Now you’re just throwing in your insecurity. He doesn’t need that right now. “Do you really think I have the time or energy to deal with another relationship? This one is stressful enough at times,” he says almost coldly. 
Wow... you think. It feels like he’s hitting a volleyball right against your chest. It hurts. “So you see me as a burden?” you try to say in a calm voice, but it’s already shaking. Ushijima just shakes his head in annoyance before climbing into bed next to you. 
“When you ask questions like that, yes. Where do you come up with such nonsense? Do you have so little self-esteem?” says Ushijima before switching off the light on the bedside cabinet and turning towards you. “Let’s go to sleep now. I have to get up in the morning. And stop thinking such nonsense.” He says, as if he hadn’t hurt your feelings with his words earlier, before leaning in to kiss you goodnight, but you just turn around and avoid him. “Good night...” you mumble coolly, but Ushijima doesn’t think much of it.
Only after several days does he realize that something is different. You hardly talk to him, not at all, in fact. You no longer cook for him either. Maybe not in general? You’re often out until late in the evening and only come to bed when Ushijima is already asleep. But when he asks you what’s wrong, you just answer with a strange smile and say “nothing”. Ushijima doesn’t understand a thing.
It’s only when he’s on the phone with Tendou and the two of them are talking about all sorts of things, about how Ushijima is very stressed right now from training and the upcoming championships, that he mentions in passing that you’re behaving strangely. Tendou has known Ushijima for a long time. So he can guess that Ushijima has once again misunderstood something or said things that came across wrongly. When Ushijima tells him about the conversation with you a few days ago, Tendou sighs loudly into the phone. “Wakatoshi, that’s the stupidest thing you could have said to her. Does your better half know that you’re under a lot of stress at the moment?”
“Of course not. After all, it’s not something she can change. So she doesn’t have to worry about it.” As soon as Ushijima has spoken his sentence, he hears the sigh on the other side of the line again. “Wakatoshi, that’s not how a relationship works. How long have you been together now? Almost six years... She’s just worried about you. And if she then asks you whether there might be another woman in your life, ‘Don’t ask such stupid questions, why do you have so little self-esteem’ is not exactly the best answer.” Tendou imitates Ushijima.
He is surprised that he still has a girlfriend at all with this manner. Maybe he needs to fly to Japan more often after all… To give Ushijima a good slap on the back of the blunt man’s head.
“I just wanted to tell her that she’s a great woman and I can’t understand how she can have such thoughts when she’s perfect,” Ushijima replies as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Yet Tendou has to spend half an hour talking to Ushijima about how wrong his behavior was before he finally realizes it himself. So he decides to go home after training and wait for you, no matter how long it takes. 
Sighing, you stand in front of the front door. On the one hand, you hope that Ushijima is already asleep, but on the other, you don’t want to continue with the silent treatment. You shake your head and open the door, only to see Ushijima sitting in the living room, his hands clasped together as he rests his arms on his thighs.
“Wakatoshi?” You ask, a little irritated, as you notice him staring into space. You can’t interpret his gaze. “Can you please sit down? We need to talk.” He says in a firm voice that makes your heart beat uncomfortably faster. You know you haven’t done anything wrong, and yet it feels like you have. Nevertheless, you nod, sit down next to him and look in his direction. He mirrors your movement. Only he doesn’t look at you with concern, but neutrally as always.
“I...” he begins, but then his voice drops. He doesn’t quite know how to start. After all, that’s never been his strength. “What is it, Wakatoshi?” you ask almost impatiently. After all, if he wants to end the relationship, he should keep it short. That will hurt, but maybe it’s better that way.
“I have hurt you. Seemingly very deeply. I’m sorry about that. It’s not that I don’t love you. I do and I thought you knew that too. Maybe I didn’t express myself properly, no actually, I didn’t express myself properly. But I can’t understand why you think that I might have another woman for whom I have feelings. You are a wonderful woman. Strong, independent, intelligent and attractive. For me, you are just right the way you are. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. I thought you would see yourself the way I see you.” Ushijima looks deep into your eyes with every word, his complete focus on you, before glancing briefly to the side. As if he’s thinking about what else he wants to say. Then he turns back to you and puts his hand on your thigh.
“We’re really under a lot of stress at the moment with our training. But that’s not something I want to burden you with in any way. After all, there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. And you shouldn’t have to worry about your husband. So… If I hurt you with my words, I’m sorry.” His words are sincere and the uneasy feeling you felt in your chest is suddenly gone. You should have known that Ushijima doesn’t love another woman. After all, it’s Ushijima. 
“Let’s go out for dinner together at the weekend. Just the two of us. Let’s talk, spend time together. There hasn’t been enough of that lately.” Ushijima says, turning you more towards him by your thigh before wrapping his hands around your waist and placing you on his lap with ease.
“Wakatoshi!” you shriek briefly. His head is on your shoulder, his breath warm on your skin. “I’m really sorry that my words hurt you,” he whispers softly, starting to rub your back with his thumb as he holds you close to his chest. You are no longer angry with him. Has been no longer. Actually, you are glad that he told you how he felt.
“Going out for dinner sounds good,” you say softly and put your arms around him. As you answer, you feel him squeeze you a little tighter. As if he wants to tell you how grateful he is that you show understanding for him.
Tumblr media
Actually, everything is going well between you and Sakusa. You both harmonize well, have similar interests and friends. The only thing that is a little difficult is the fact that you have to keep your relationship a secret.
At least Sakusa wants to keep the relationship private because he doesn’t want paparazzi following you around or some crazy fans sending you threatening letters or maybe even hurting you.
Sakusa is very cautious when it comes to you.
So apart from your closest friends, your family and his agency, nobody knows about your relationship.
However, it is becoming more difficult from year to year. Because there are already pictures that have been made public. Pictures in which you are seen with Sakusa. Sitting together in a coffee shop or going for a walk in the park. You’ve even been photographed while buying groceries.
There are also more and more rumors about you. “Who is the unknown woman who is always in the front row at every game?”, ”Is this young lady the girlfriend of athlete Kiyoomi Sakusa?”
Today Sakusa forgot his sports shoes. Since you work in the same building as the agency that has him under contract, you decide to simply take the shoes with you. After all, Sakusa told you today that he has an appointment at his agency before he goes to training.
With a slight nod, you greet the security people at the entrance to the third floor where the agency for athletes is located. You’ve already been here a few times, so it’s easy for you to find the right way. You stop in front of Sakusa’s manager’s office. In front of the office, you see that the door is slightly open and that people are talking. Sakusa was one of them. You briefly consider knocking and going in, but when you hear the next words, you stand still, petrified.
“Sakusa-san, are you sure you want to bring your relationship with Ms. Abe into the public eye? Ms. Abe is a popular tennis player. It would draw a lot of attention to both of you,” says Sakusa’s manager. Soon after, the sound of a woman giggling rings out, followed immediately by Sakusa’s voice.
“That’s fine... I think it’s for the best. But before we go through with this -” you don’t hear the last words, because you’ve already set the bag with the shoes down outside the office and rushed back to your own workplace. 
You can’t concentrate all day long. You keep thinking about that conversation you had heard earlier. About Sakusa... wanting to make a relationship public? Only now do you realize what that actually means. Does this mean that Sakusa has been cheating on you the whole time and you were nothing but a pleasant distraction for him?
Frustrated, you stomp home after work, thinking about all the things you want to say. Everything you want to throw at Sakusa. When you arrive home, the apartment is still empty. Nothing unusual, because Sakusa wanted to go to his training after the meeting. So he’ll probably be gone for several more hours. Or did he just use that as an excuse to meet up with his new girlfriend?
You laugh bitterly, rolling your eyes at the thought of Sakusa’s name appearing in the magazines next to the name of that tennis player .... “Ridiculous...” you snort, and walk into the living room, where, ironically, the picture of Sakusa and you immediately comes into view. A photo of the two of you on vacation. You were in Norway. A country where Sakusa isn’t really well known. That’s why you could enjoy your vacation without paparazzi. In the photo you are in a small restaurant, outside on the terrace, both smiling intimately into the camera. Was it all just an act?
Furious, you grab the photo and throw it on the floor. The glass breaks and all the shards lie on the ground. “Damn...” you curse, annoyed at yourself for your outburst as you kneel down to pick up the pieces. But a familiar voice makes you flinch. 
“My love, is everything all right?” you hear Sakusa, who must have come home a few seconds ago, dropping his bag in the hallway and looking in your direction with wide eyes. He left training on time today because he thought it was strange that his sports bag was in front of his manager’s door, but you weren’t there.
But now the time has come. The pain in your chest suddenly gets impossible to bear, your mouth quivers and your eyes are all warm as big tears run down your cheeks. A sight that really knocks Sakusa off his feet. Immediately he rushes in your direction, kneels down next to you and takes your hands in his to see if you have cut yourself. But your body seems to be unharmed.
“W-what’s wrong?” he asks again, concerned, before you pull your hands out of his grip and stare at him angrily. “When... when were you going to tell me you had another girl? And what are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be at training or with your new lover?” you say angrily, but don’t raise your voice.
Sakusa tries to follow your words, even if he can’t understand them at first. But then he realizes… The bag in the hallway, your tears... you must have heard part of the conversation he had this afternoon. But you probably haven’t heard everything. The man with the raven-black curls closes his eyes before taking a deep breath and looking at you again, trying to reach for your hands.
“You’ve completely misunderstood something-” he is about to start, but you interrupt him directly. “Don’t say ‘it’s not what it looks like’. You can spare that phrase, Kiyoomi!” you say a little louder now, but Sakusa doesn’t back down and continues to try to talk to you calmly.
“Please Y/n... I want you to listen to me for a minute... just a minute... After that you can still be mad at me. Is that possible?” Sakusa grabs your hands this time, pulls you up with him and leads you to the sofa. “Sit down, please.” You’re actually reluctant, but you’ve been together for so long now... you can give him that one minute, can’t you? You grudgingly sit down, but don’t look at him.
“Lately, paparazzi are getting bolder and bolder... even the other day there were some in the supermarket who wanted to take pictures of us... I’m just worried that your face will eventually be in all the newspapers and platforms and you’ll no longer be able to live your life carefree, but will always have these people at your back, following you,” says Sakusa somewhat awkwardly. Almost as if he himself is unsure whether what he wants to tell you is plausible for you. But before he can continue, you interrupt him directly and give him an angry look.
“Oh, and that’s why you thought you’d find a new girlfriend who’s already a celebrity and just date her? Then you can go out without hiding? Is that it?” you’re struggling to keep your voice under control. Sakusa’s eyes widen and he shrinks back for a moment, his hands almost in a protective position in front of his chest as he shakes his head.
“Wait, no, it’s not like that. I don’t have another relationship. Well, okay wait. I thought it might be good if I publicly revealed a fake relationship with another celebrity. Of course, it’s not real and we’re not really a couple. But I thought it would take the pressure off you and you could-”
You can’t believe what Sakusa is saying right now. Is he really serious? If it’s true, why is he talking to his manager first and not to you? Doesn’t he care about your feelings? “Do you actually... don’t think at all? How do you think I would feel when I read the messages and your name is everywhere with the name of your fake girlfriend? Have you ever thought about the fact that this is extremely hurtful to me? I would rather be seen in public with you than see you with someone else ‘for my supposed freedom and privacy’. How would you feel if I introduced another man to the whole world as my boyfriend just to ‘protect’ you?” The words you say so loudly hit Sakusa, and he gets quiet. He doesn’t even know what to say anymore. Your question slaps him hard. How would he feel… The thought of seeing you with another man makes him angry, sad... and somehow helpless?
“I...” Sakusa begins, but immediately doesn’t know how to continue. “I’m sorry, that was probably stupid of me.” He then says, tilting his head downwards. Sighing, you stand up and shake your head once more before walking past Sakusa. 
“You know, you never asked me, but I wouldn’t mind if people knew my face. It’s more important to me to do things with you without having to hide. You’re always the one who overdramatizes and worries unnecessarily... Whatever… I’m going to bed now. Good night.” You no longer wait for his answer. Instead, you go straight to the bathroom and get ready for bed.
Sakusa remains seated in the living room. He knows exactly that it wouldn’t be right to talk to you now, that you want to be left alone. Especially since he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to tell you. He just knows that his action was really stupid.
Sakusa hadn’t signed a contract with the tennis player and the two agencies yet, because he wanted to talk to you about it first, but at the moment his own idea to protect your privacy disgusts him. He really should have talked to you first about how you feel, whether you want to be in the public eye, instead of drawing any conclusions. Sakusa sighs, leans back against the sofa and closes her eyes. “Idiot...” he whispers quietly.
Two days pass and you are still disappointed by Sakusa’s behavior. Even though he probably only meant well. You haven’t really spoken much either. Just the usual “Good morning, have a nice day at work...”, “How was your day?” and all that sort of things.
Still at work, you just can’t concentrate and start massaging your temples when suddenly one of your colleagues shrieks and starts giggling. “Hey, isn’t that Sakusa Kiyoomi? What’s he doing here? His agency is upstairs, isn’t it?” she asks one of her colleagues, who quickly reaches for her make-up mirror and fixes her hair. 
Now you too turn your head forward and see Sakusa walking in your direction with a bunch of white lilies. Everyone looks after him, puzzled, and you also stare at him with irritation as he stops in front of you. “Uhm... I wanted to bring these over to you because I have to go upstairs to talk to my manager about a photo shoot.”
The whispering of your colleagues gets louder and louder and you still look a little confused, but you take the bouquet and stand up. “Kiyoomi, what is this about?” you whisper to him, not quite knowing how to react. Sakusa grazes your arm, wanders up to your cheek and looks deep into your eyes. “You were right. I should never have had this stupid idea. I should have asked you. And even if I’m worried about you, I only want to see you by my side in any pictures on the internet. After all, you are the woman I love. I’m really sorry. Will you... accept my clumsy apology?” Sakusa gazes at you with such a puppy-dog look that you can’t help but put the bouquet on your table and jump into his arms.
Of course, Sakusa did not sign the contract with the tennis player.
At his next match, you’re in the front row as usual, and when Sakusa scores the final point to victory and his team cheers along with him, he immediately runs to you, pulling you over the barrier to hold you in his arms before setting you down and cupping your cheeks with his hands. Just a few seconds later, you feel his lips on yours, cameras pointing at you and taking photos. But you couldn’t care less. “You know, I’ve wanted to do this so many times before,” he says calmly, leaning his forehead against your own.
Although everyone knows your face now, Sakusa is always reserved in interviews when it comes to private questions.
He will not answer questions about you if they become too personal.
In the beginning, the paparazzi and reporters were really a nuisance, but everything calmed down over time and the two of you can go out and enjoy dates together without being followed, just like back then, before his career.
224 notes · View notes
br4ttyeilish · 2 months
Text
Behind The Bookshelves
librarian!billie x student!oc
Authors note: i decided to split this into two parts because i’ve been so busy and can’t write the second part to save my life. i promise y’all it’ll be out before monday trustttt. anyways this look ass but whatever smh
Warnings: not proof read
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
clara was extremely obsessed with reading. it was absolutely hands down her favorite hobby ever. if she was bored, she’d read. sad? read. stressed out? read. 
something about escaping her reality through these stories made her feel something. so when she went to her new college in LA she immediately caught the librarians eye. 
billie had only been working at the school for two years now but wouldn’t be able to tell you one students name off the top of her head. that was before clara came along.
clara would come into the library everyday, sometimes even multiple times. clara was also really recognizable. while most college students would walk around campus in big baggy shirts and grey sweats, clara really made a statement. 
each day she would get dressed up in the cutest sweaters and short mini skirts with her same pair of doc martens. she looked like she belonged in the library.
billie genuinely never payed attention to anyone who came and went. no one ever cared to talk to billie, even ask for help finding a book. people would just come in and get her to scan their novels and walk out without saying a word. not clara though. 
“hi, sorry can you help me?” the girl asked. billie looked up from her desk. immediately locking eyes with the girl. billie furrowed her eyebrows, no one ever talked to her. “yeah of course.” billie replied with a smile on her face. “uhm i’m new here, a freshman actually, and i was wondering if you could help me find the romance section?” clara asked politely. 
her brown honey eyes only had innocence in them. she batted her eyelashes at billie like a little puppy. billie smiled and got up from her chair. “yeah, it’s right over here.” she began to guide her. 
clara followed behind. her skirt swaying back and forth as she walked. “its kind of hidden in the back for some reason. the people who made the layout in here must of been some bitter person since it’s so hidden. no one even comes back here most of the time because nobody even knows it exist.” billie explains with a chuckle. “wow really?” clara asked, interest filling her tone. billie looked back at here. “yeah.. well.. here you go. if you ever need anything let me know.” billie reminded her. clara flashed her one last smile and went to serching. she definitely kept the words if you ever need anything let me know in mind. 
almost everyday she would come into the library and ask billie a question. any other time billie would probably have gotten aggravated. but with clara she never minded. 
clara came in today. immediately greeting billie with a heart warming smile. that smile lighting up billie’s entire day. “hi bils!” clara spoke. the nickname immediately making billie’s face go red. she loved how friendly clara was. its like they had know each other their whole lives. clara went back on to the romance section leaving billie back at her desk alone. 
clara soon came over with a book in her hand. she rested her arms on billie’s desk, sliding the book to her. “hey billie can you tell me what this book is about? the description is pretty vague…” clara asked. billie happily obliged. 
billie was also a huge reader herself so most of the time if someone brought up a book she knew it. 
she took the book and read the cover. she immediately knew what book this was. “its kind of a generic enemies to lovers book. its a lesbian book too, if you know, your into that. its basically just a story where these two girls are forced to be camp counselors together who hate each other but then fall in love.” billie explains. clara nods. “sounds good enough.” billie took the book and scanned it. “i’ll see you again tomorrow bils.” clara said. a little seduction in her tone. it made billie shiver a little. 
clara knew what she was doing. she was extremely interested in billie. everything about her made her feel all kind of things. the way she dressed, like, a librarian but way hotter. the way billie’s glasses fit on her and made her already pretty blue eyes even more pretty. how billie would help her. something about it just made her want her more. so everything clara was doing she was very much aware of.
clara came in the next day. she wore a button down top that fit her in all the right places. her cleavage on full display. she also wore one of those cute little mini skirts that basically had her ass on display. she walked in the library confidently. her little sex mafia book in hand. she immediately made eyes with billie. her iconic smile flashing to billie, and billie flashing it back. 
clara began to walk up to her desk. “hi billieee.” clara said, dragging the e out. “there’s my favorite girl.” billie said while closing her book. the words my favorite girl lighting clara’s face up. clara sat her previous book on the counter and began to walk back to the romance section. 
clara looked through the books until she found something that caught her eye. the description got straight to the point. explaining how sexual the book was. it was a book about a mafia boss and his wife. the book was extremely explicit. a smirk creeping across clara’s face.
clara walked over with the book in her hand. she rested her arms on billie’s desk, her boobs basically on full display for the older girl. sliding the book to her, she said, “hey billie can you tell me if this book is good or not?” clara asked.
billie nodded, taking the book from her. she looked at the cover and immediately knew what it was. her cheeks flushed red. 
“its uhm, its basically this book about some mafia boss and his wife who go on these mission. the plots pretty boring if you ask me. it’s mainly just lots and lots of sex. while reading it i tended to got distracted on whatever was actually going on because the sex was so much.” billie explained. an evil grin began to plaster across clara’s face. a face that billie had never seen on her before. 
“perfect.” is all she said. billie’s eyebrows furrowed. clara didn’t look like the type of person to be interested in a book like this. but billie pushed away her questions and scanned the book for her. “thank you.” clara said. a little seduction in her tone. it made billie shiver a little. 
clara went back to her door. she wasn’t actually interested in the book if she was being honest. this was all part of her plan. 
she waiting till it was late at night. she was in her skimpy victoria secret pajamas. the same pajamas that you could see her nipples through. it was currently 8:50. ten minutes before the library closed. she wanted to give billie one more visit. 
she began to walk back down to the library. her book in hand. she walked in and the room was completely empty. billie couldn’t even been seen in sight. a confused expression filled clara’s face. she began to look around the room. she got onto the fiction section when she saw billie. her back was facing clara’s. she was putting up some books. clara walked up behind her and tapped her shoulder. billie swung around. a terrified look on her face. billie immediately grabbed her chest.
“holy shit clara, shit, you scared me oh my god.” she said while trying to calm her down. all clara could do is smile at her. “i’m sorry.. i didn’t mean to startle you..” billie sighed. “its uhm, its fine. w-what are you doing here so late?” billie asked. 
clara took her book from behind her back. “my book… its too boring.” she explained. billie chuckled. “yeah i told you..” clara cut her off. “no. not boring like you said. it was too.. soft for me. too vanilla. could you help me find a more interesting one bils?” clara asked her. she made that same innocent look. only this time billie knew she was faking. billie was utterly confused as to what was going on but she decided to play along. “uh, sure i guess..” billie began to lead her back to the romance section again. 
as they went to the back they both started looking at books together. that’s when clara pulled out one. one she had already read, but billie didn’t have to know that. “can you tell me what this one is about?” clara asked. billie took the book from her hands. billie hadn’t read this one yet. 
she turned the book around and looked at the description. “uhh it says it’s about a teacher and student affair.” billie says. clara began to get closer to billie. “well isn’t that interesting?” clara’s said tilting her head. billie began to get hot. “uhm, yeah i guess so..” billie couldn’t hold eye contact. “doesn’t the thought of doing something with someone you shouldn’t be just turn you on? i mean come on, anyone would agree with that, right?” clara asked. lust filled her voice. the way she delivered that sentence gave billie goosebumps. clara began to get closer to billie. their chest touching. billie could feel clara’s hard nipples. billie gulped. 
clara chuckled. “bils you look hot.. you should take your jacket off. your face is getting red to..” clara said with a mocking tone. billie didn’t know what was happening at this point. her head was mush. she couldn’t think properly. “clara, stop.” billie demanded. clara looked at her confused. “stop what? am i not allowed to be concerned for you bils?” clara asked, this time running her fingers on billie’s arms. billie couldn’t take this anymore. 
billie took clara by the arms and pinned her against the book shelf. a little gasp escaping clara’s mouth. “what are you trying to get out of this, hm? prancing around here like a little slut.” billie spoke. her voice was rough. clara wasn’t expecting this whatsoever but she was complaining. billie began to rap her fingers around clara’s neck. “so tell me. what is it that you want?” this was a completely new tone for clara. if she thought she was hot before, this completely changed everything. 
“please, billie. i need you.” clara spoke out pathetically. thats all billie needed in order to flip clara over.
Tumblr media
TAGLIST (dm,inbox,or comment to be added!) : @muchloveforhacker @chrissv4mp @mseilishmwah @chrissfawn @dev-sturns @kise-mo @devynscomet
238 notes · View notes
littlespoonevan · 6 months
Note
If you are looking for prompts.... Eddie and Tommy realising they unintentionally excluded Buck ?
ohohoho this was fun to write but Sad also bc eddie is clearly thinking one thing and tommy is clearly thinking many things and buck is off in his loft thinking many, Many things but i hope you like it, friend 💛
.
Eddie hobbles over to his couch with Tommy’s help.
“There you go, man,” Tommy says as he gets Eddie situated on the cushion. “You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m good,” Eddie replies, waving a hand. “There’s beer in the fridge though; help yourself.”
Tommy doesn’t take him up on the offer, instead moving to sit on the coffee table next to where Eddie’s propped up his injured leg.
“So, uh, Buck can get pretty competitive?” He says it like a question, nodding to Eddie’s wrapped ankle as if in proof and it’s, well-
“No, actually,” Eddie says, and he feels…stuck between a long-ingrained need to defend Buck and confusion as to how they ended up here in the first place.
Because this isn’t like Buck. Because Buck usually spends his every waking minute actively trying to keep Eddie out of harm’s way. He sure as hell is never the cause. And Eddie knows he didn’t mean to, is the thing. But just calling it a simple accident doesn’t feel quite right either.
“I don’t-” he starts and then reconsiders what he’d planned to say. “Honestly, Buck’s been a little off this week so I think…”
He trails off. It feels weird talking about Buck with someone who isn’t close to them, who doesn’t just implicitly gets all the intricate mental gymnastics behind Buck’s every action.
Then again, Eddie’s not sure if anyone is actually as adept at figuring out how Buck gets from A to Z as he is.
“Is it because of me?” Tommy asks and he looks genuinely concerned.
Eddie replays every conversation he’s had with Buck this past week – every too bright smile Buck flashed him, every enthusiastic assertion that he thought it was great Eddie had a new friend – and then he, inexplicably, thinks about when he first joined the 118 and some things slot into place.
“I think he was maybe a little worried,” Eddie allows. “That I was replacing him with you.”
Tommy’s eyes do a slow, deliberate sweep of the living room and the multiple photo frames of him, Buck and Christopher on the mantel and the side table before he looks back to Eddie. “Is that even possible?”
Eddie shakes his head, letting out a laugh. “I mean, no. Obviously. But Buck just- sometimes he needs reminding how much he means to people.”
Guilt settles between his ribs then. He’s been too distracted this week, too excited about having someone he had so much in common with around to talk to. If he’d taken half a second to look a little closer he would’ve realised Buck was spiralling.
“I should’ve spoken to him,” he sighs. “Reassured him that we weren’t trying to exclude him.”
Tommy frowns. “You really think that’s how he felt? I thought you said he never wanted to play basketball when you asked?”
“I think it was more than just the basketball,” Eddie says, wincing – the memory of him asking Buck to babysit instead of coming to the bar with them feels particularly bad.
Tommy nods slowly, mind clearly working. He’s quiet for so long Eddie thinks about telling him not to worry about it, that he’ll deal with it, but then-
“Why don’t I go talk to him?” he suggests, confident and sure. “Clear the air? I don’t want him to think I’m trying to get in the middle of you two.”
It takes Eddie by surprise. There’s a strangely defensive part of him that wants to say he and Buck don’t need anyone to mend their fences for them but he shoves the thought aside and reminds himself that’s not what Tommy means. Buck had sought Tommy out too last week and they’d seemed to get along. Maybe Tommy wants to clear the air for his own sake.
So he says, “Yeah,” probably a few seconds too late and makes himself smile. “Normally I’d be the one driving to his house and forcing him to talk. But I guess I’m kind of out of commission right now.”
He nods at his foot and Tommy laughs, pushing himself up off the couch to stand. “Well, hey, I’ll be sure to pass on your regards.”
“Thanks,” Eddie snorts.
Tommy claps him on the shoulder as he rounds the couch. “Don’t forget to take those pain pills, man. I’ll let you know how things go with Evan.”
He calls the rest of his sentence over his shoulder as he heads for the door and Eddie manages a half-hearted, “Will do,” as he hears the click of the latch.
And he feels…how Buck has felt all week, probably. Confused and irritated and a little possessive. Like Tommy’s stealing his job. As if Eddie hadn’t just told him it was fine. As if Eddie could even make it over to Buck’s place right now. At least he managed to hold back the petty, “His name is Buck,” that had immediately rose up in his throat as soon as Tommy had called him Evan.
Shaking his head, he reaches for the paper bag with his prescription that Tommy had left on the coffee table.
He’ll talk to Buck tomorrow and everything will be fine.
272 notes · View notes
kisseobie · 4 months
Note
Hard hours🤭🤭
I’d love to read any of your thoughts about the members being more submissive. Headcannons, a MtL, drabbles, whatever rly!!
I love your writing so so much im so glad someone is writing for soulseob now<3
p1harmony as subs
pairings: ot6 p1harmony x reader
genre: nsfw (mdni)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: soooo glad i’m getting some sub piwon asks because i haven’t explored it enough .. i consider myself a switch leaning submissive so it’s natural for me to write dom piwon but i dabble in the sub piwon fantasy as well mwahahaha
Tumblr media
𓇼 keeho
sooo whiny and needy. although he’s playful in nature, i don’t really think keeho would be as bratty as a sub as most may assume. in fact, i think he would be pretty happy to comply with your demands, whether you’re treating him like the finest of china, or defiling him like a bitch in heat. he prefers to be degraded and treated like a slut, but is always eager to give you sloppy kisses while you fuck your fingers into his hole. loves to be slapped on his face and spat on, he’s just so dirty when he’s in subspace. aftercare is super important with him though, the contrast makes him dizzy but fills his heart up with warmth and comfort. isn’t very mouthy in terms of dirty talk, but does moan very high pitched, to the point where you sometimes have to clasp a hand atop his mouth to shut him up. keeho is also a big fan of toys as well—a true size queen in my head, fucks himself with his dildos to prepare for the eventual pounding you give him with your strap-on <333
𓇼 theo
on the opposite end of keeho, theo is an absolute brat in bed. doesn’t comply with your orders, defies your every command with a smirk, like it’s the funniest thing in the world. in reality, he just wants to be punished, wants to be overstimulated to the point where he can’t remember his own name. when yangie slips into subspace, it lasts for hours, not that you would ever complain when he’s so fun to play with. your boyfriend is a munch, so he’ll spend an eternity kitty licking at your cunt and leaving his weeping cock aching and untouched. you’d offer to help him, but his brattiness forces you to be oh so mean to him, rutting your pussy against his face, not allowing him to breathe several seconds at a time. it all just makes more blood rush to his cock, and soon he’ll be begging and dropping the bratty act, pleading for you to please just touch him :(
𓇼 jiung
a bit shy every time he subs, but that doesn’t mean he’s not excited! ji is just so pretty, you can’t help but worship his body and praise him like he’s the most angelic thing on the planet (he is!). jiung particularly loves when you blindfold him, the deprivation of the sight of what you plan to do to him builds up a strange bubbly feeling in his tummy. isn’t a big fan of pegging, personally he’s not the type to bask in the soreness that’ll surely burden him the following morning. despite his distaste for pegging, he’s not entirely opposed to you exploring his hole, encourages it even, when your fucking your tongue into the tight concave. jiung isn’t too vocal, but his little gasps, paired with the slight wobble of his lips when you do something particularly pleasurable, is enough to signal to you just how much your boyfriend loves to be treated like the pretty princess he is
𓇼 intak
not a brat, not incredibly docile, but a secret third thing… seriously though, intak’s approach to being submissive has you dazed and confused at times. he’s so incredibly pliant in certain situations, but squirms so damn much at other times that you mistake his natural bodily reactions as defiance. don’t punish him for pulling away please! it makes him a bit sad :( he’s just so sensitive, sometimes the constant assault of your fingers prodding at his hole and pinching his nipples is just too much for his pretty little body :( if you call him anything like “good boy” or “pup” he’s drooling, and if he had a tail, it would most definitely be wagging. intak really loves to fuck his cock into you, but all the power lies in your hands. tell him to slow down and he’s slowing the fuck down.. it’s funny how you have him wrapped around your finger. is very loud in bed, babbles a lottttt lol
𓇼 soul
so slutty bro.. he’s so willing to take anything you want to give him. breath play? he’s expecting your hand around his throat in t-minus ten seconds. you wanna tie him up? he might already know a thing or two about shibari. he’s just so excited to be the center of attention, loves your praises of his body, loves being humiliated equally as much. i think he’s the biggest fan amongst the members of edging, sho finds it so sexy that you’re in total control of his climax, feels lightheaded when you curl your fingers tightly around his tip as a make-shift cockring because you know he can’t hold it in without it :(( oh and he fully expects to be pegged, even sends you the sluttiest pictures of his fingers fucking into his hole when you’re stuck at work—just to let you know that he’s prepped himself for you :O
𓇼 jongseob
i think sub seob comes out in a very vulnerable way… he just naturally falls into subspace when he’s feeling unconfident or needy. really really loves to hear your praises every time you pop your mouth off of his cock when you’re worshipping his dick. whines so pathetically when you pull off of him suddenly, but thanks the lord above when you replace your lips with your cunt. i think he might possibly be the most pliant and obedient of the six. it takes a lot of experimenting with him for jongseob to figure out just what he likes when he’s subbing, so be patient with him. i think he’d love to be pegged every once in a while, especially if he’s a bit tipsy lol.. overall is just a good boy who wants to feel loved </3
Tumblr media
a/n: i haven’t been beta reading anything i’ve posted tonight because i’m too lazy but i’ll come back later to do that and fix any grammatical errors if there are any lol
taglist: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @sosaverse @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror @watamotee33 @dreamer1299 @jixnnsie @wonootnoot @yukx-x047 @sundancearchives @chuuswifereal @seisyiss @fishsquishh @sunnyyangie
© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
265 notes · View notes
illdowhatiwantthanks · 5 months
Text
Forgetting
Tumblr media
Carol Danvers x fem!reader Warnings: established relationship, long distance, fluffy times, explicit language, implied sex (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word Count: 1.2k
Summary: It's been nearly a year since you've seen your girlfriend and almost two months since you've heard from her. And you're beginning to worry that she's forgotten about you. After all, the universe is a big place.
357 days. That’s how long it had been since you’d seen your girlfriend. You tried to think of yourself like a military spouse. After all, Carol did used to be in the Air Force. And she did travel to far-away, dangerous places to protect people, with very limited communication for long periods of time. It’s just that her dangerous locations were in other galaxies instead of other countries.
You were used to her being gone or, well, as used to it as you could be. The longer her absence went on, the more used to it you got, but somehow it also became harder. When she first set off on this mission, she’d been in your galaxy, so communications had come faster and with more regularity. Less space and time for them to travel through. But the farther away she got, the longer it took her messages to get to you. You were lucky if you got one email a month.
It wasn’t personal. You knew that. She was far away. Even with the best technology S.H.I.E.L.D. could provide to a civilian, her communication with you was still slow and limited. But, god, you missed her. You missed her laugh. You missed the warmth of her next to you in bed. You missed the way she propped her leg up when she sat down, no matter what kind of chair it was. You hung on every word of her emails, going over them so often you’d memorized them.
It had been two months since Carol’s last email. It was a long time to go without communication, even for her. The irrational part of your brain was desperately worried for her. There’s no telling what kind of high-risk situations she got herself into out there. But you knew that if anyone could handle themselves against all the forces of evil in the universe, it was Carol. You also knew that S.H.I.E.L.D. would have contacted you immediately had anything happened to her.
Another part of your brain–equally irrational but much harder to talk down–worried that Carol had forgotten you. The universe that Carol traversed was huge. Infinite, even. She saw things no one else had ever seen. Met people and experienced cultures that were so different from ours on Earth that we’d never even dream them up. Who’s to say she hadn’t found somewhere–someone–more beautiful than here, with you? She saw entire worlds, the neverending canvas of space and time. How could it possibly be that, of all the things in the known universe, you were the one worth coming home to? You always worried that maybe, this time, you weren’t.
As you climbed into bed, missing, as always, the feeling of Carol’s arms wrapped around you, the rise and fall of her chest as she slept, you once again pulled up her most recent email. From 61 days ago.
Hi, baby. I hope all’s well on Earth. I’m sad I’m missing spring–you know it’s my favorite season. Are there apricots on the tree yet? Or just buds? I’d give an arm for an apricot right now. I’m farther out than normal, so you might not hear from me for a while. One of the Andromedas. 2.7 lightyears away, if you can believe it. It scares me a little to be so far away from you.
I know I’ve said it before, but it gets lonely out here. Sometimes I wish you could come with me, but I know your body wouldn’t handle space-time travel like mine does. Superhero probs. Also, it’s probably not fair for me to make you put your entire life on pause just because I miss you like crazy.
It’s so beautiful out here in a weird, quiet way. I wish you could see it. Yesterday, I passed a pulsar. A star carcass, as I like to call them. They’re these gigantic masses of spinning light that put out radio signals (which might interfere with how quickly you get this, fuck pulsars). You’ve never seen something so big. So big it’s almost hard to believe it’s really there.
Anyway. I’m rambling. I miss you so much. I always miss you, but this time feels harder for some reason. I miss the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I miss the way your hair sticks up in the morning. I miss kissing you. I miss doing more than kissing you. I just miss you.
I’m not sure when I’ll get home, but I think about you every day, every second. Nothing in this galaxy or the next or the next compares to you. Please stay safe. Don’t be sad. Snuggle Goose for me.
I love you.
Carol
You fell asleep reading through the email, again and again, your phone going dark in your hand beside you as you drifted off. You dreamed of pulsars. You dreamed of Carol.
Hours later, you jerked awake, gasping, as you felt a hand on your shoulder.
“Hey, hey!” a voice said, calming, reassuring. “It’s just me.”
You’d know that voice anywhere. “Carol!” you squealed, grabbing her and pulling her onto the bed with you, holding her as tight as possible so she could never, ever leave you for so long again. “You’re home!”
You felt her smile against you as she buried her face in your neck, wrapping her strong arms around you. She smelled metallic, almost like gunpowder; you knew it by now–the smell of space. “Hi, baby,” she whispered, breathing you in. “I missed you so much.”
Still holding you close, Carol sat up a bit to just look at you, just take you in. She ran her hand along your cheekbone and pressed a warm kiss to your mouth. A kiss you’d been so desperate for, you thought you might die from relief. Her lips tasted like space, too, the way metal smells after rain. So uniquely her. How many other people could say they knew the taste of space?
“Are you crying?!” Carol asked, alarmed, as she brushed a few tears from under your eyelids.
You sniffed and mumbled, “I thought maybe you forgot about me.”
Carol pulled you to her chest, running her fingers through your hair, lightly grazing her fingernails against your scalp. You shivered at the sensation.
“Oh, baby,” she breathed. “I could never forget about you.”
“But there’s so much out there.”
“Mmhm,” she said, kissing your nose. “And none of it’s as beautiful as you.”
When she moved to stand up, you grasped her hands. “No, no! Stay here and snuggle!”
She laughed, grinning from ear to ear, as she pushed your hair back from your face. “I have to shower, Y/N. I smell like an asteroid.”
You leapt out of bed to stand next to her, looping your arm and hand through hers and leaning against her shoulder. You couldn’t get enough of her, couldn’t get close enough. You never wanted to let her go.
“Can I join you?” you asked, blushing a little. After all, it had been nearly a year.
Carol looked at you lovingly, smiling softly, a few of her own tears building. She squeezed your hand and dragged you after her into the bathroom. “God, yes.”
269 notes · View notes
myfictionaldreams · 11 months
Text
Family // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader
Summary: Sirius Black, the usually happy prankster within Hogwarts, had a special skill for hiding his emotions. Until one day, he's forced to face the realities of the troubles with his family.
Requested by: @bullets-from-another-dimension Thank you so much for the request and for showing me that Sirius needs a little more love! I hope you like this fic, and thanks for your support with the poly!marauders ♥
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst (lots!), fluff (also lots!), emotional hurt, discussion of Sirius' abusive family, disowned, crying, hugs/kissing, polyamory relationship, nipple play, body worship, making out, oral sex (m receiving), happy ending
A/N: This is just a little PSA that I'll be going through my other Poly!Marauders fics sometime soon to change some bits to make sure that each of the boys is getting enough love! It won't be anything major for the overall story, just spreading the love equally as it appears Sirius may have been skipped a few times (and I don't want that!), so check for an 'edited' note on the story. Thank you for pointing this out to me!
Words: 4.8k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link
Tumblr media
The last 24 hours had been an emotional rollercoaster, with both positives and negatives coming to light. It had started with the ultimate showdown game of Quidditch between Slytherin and Gryffindor; with both Sirius and James on the team. You and Remus had been nervous wrecks just for the game, let alone all the tension drowning within the two enemy houses. This escalated outside of the pitch, with wands having to remain in hands between lessons to prepare for sabotage attacks from either team.
It was endlessly tiring the days leading up to the events, and it was some kind of a miracle to be standing in the Gryffindors' stands without a single injury. Now, however, you and Remus had to live through the fear of watching your boyfriends fly around with their roles as Seeker and Beater.
You were sure you’d accidentally bitten your nail down to the cuticle by the end of the match, and your throat felt as if you’d swallowed sandpaper with how sore it was with the screaming and shouting you’d been doing in support. There was instant relief as James finally caught the snitch, and everyone cheered.
“Do you think he’ll be ok?” you shout up to Remus, who, with his height difference, could see over the crowd to where the commotion was occurring on the pitch. As James had dived for the snitch, so had the Slytherin’s seeker, who just happened to be Sirius’ brother, Regulus. However, in mid-dive, Regulus accidentally knocked into one of the goalposts, hitting his head and falling from his broom. Thankfully to the Slytherins, Sirius had been close by and caught his falling brother from gaining any further injuries.
Remus was nodding to your question, “Yes, he’s walking away, well - he’s pushing Sirius away, so I’m sure he’s just fine”, he explained, watching Regulus shove Sirius, so the man stumbled away. A pang of guilt settled heavily in your stomach at the thought of the brothers arguing. You knew that the relationship between Sirius and his brother was non-existent these days, and it only made you feel more awful for your boyfriend, understanding how difficult it must have been to lose his family in the way he has.
You couldn’t ponder on these thoughts as the entirety of Gryffindor and the vast majority of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff began celebrating the win. This included Sirius, who scooped you into an exaggerated hug, spun you high into the air, and carefully placed your feet back onto the floor.
“Was your brother alright?” You shout to Sirius over the noisy crowd forming around the winning team. For a split second, you witness sadness filling his grey eyes before he snaps out of it and a beaming smile replacing the momentary lapse in his emotions.
“Oh, he’s fine; I’m sure a quick knock to the head will bring some sense to him. Anyway, come on, let’s all go back to the common room; I have a special surprise for everyone”. Sirius was great at many things, and covering his emotions was one of them. Any attempts to open up about the situation regarding his family would change the subject within the blink of an eye. You respected that he didn’t want to talk about any of his family members, but you still kept a close eye on him, making sure that he didn’t pent up his emotions until he was at breaking point, which you feared would occur one day as there was only so much one person could go through.
The interaction with Regulus seemed to have been forgotten in the madness of celebrating, which ran into the early morning hours in the Gryffindor common room. It would have continued later, but Professor McGonagall arrived in her dressing gown and demanded everyone go to bed. Sirius needed the most help to bed, having drunk the ‘surprise’ fire whiskey he regretted deeply in the morning.
“I’m never drinking again. Who’s idea was it anyway to bring Firewhiskey?!” came the deep groan of the man lying face first beside you, his face thoroughly buried into the pillow. Your temples were pounding slightly; you’d felt worse hangovers, but it was still uncomfortable as you rolled over towards Sirius.
Your arm wrapped over his naked back, face pressed over his shoulder blade as you could feel the toned muscles adjusting to your presence as you melted into his warmth. “It was your idea. I’m never falling for your charms ever again, Sirius”, you mumbled against his skin, reminiscing on his sweet talking skills from last night that convinced you to have a drinking competition with him.
This pulled him out of the half-unconscious state as his mop of hair turned in your direction. The movement caused you to roll off him and witness the beautiful sight of his morning glow; even in his hangover, he was handsome with one eye squished closed as the room was too bright.
Sirius turned his body entirely towards you, huffing as he moved, and you refrained from trying to reach out and control the usually silky locks of hair that were now all knotted and tangled on the top of his head. “Oh yeah? I’m pretty sure my charms made you cum three times before the fire whiskey joined the party,” he commented confidently and admired the warmth that filled your face. You attempted to hide your smile at the memories but were soon fully scream-laughing as Sirius tried to break your facade by tickling your sides.
Pushing him away, you turned and nuzzled into the naked chest of James, who remained asleep even through your loud laughter, but his arms still wrapped around your shoulders protectively. Besides James, you could see Remus was awake, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Remusssss, Sirius is being mean to me”, you drawl childishly.
The man sighed, dropping his hands to give you and Sirius a pointed look, “Please, children, it’s too early, and my head is too painful for you to make this much noise”.
Sirius smirked as he spooned in close behind you, wrapping his arm around you and James as everyone tried to have a few more moments of beautiful sleep before breakfast, and class pulled the four of you from the safety of the bed.
The food helped to settle the hangovers that the majority of Gryffindor seemed to be nursing this morning, much to the displeasure of McGonagall, who was glaring at her house from the Professor’s table. Sitting beside James, you leaned across him for another slice of toast as Sirius sat opposite you with Remus next to him.
As everyone started to be rejuvenated with energy from the breakfast, the owls began to swoop in and deliver the mail for the day. An emerald-coloured envelope landed on Sirius's lap, which caught the attention of you and the fellow Marauders. You already had your suspicions about who the letter was from. Sirius mostly confirmed it, as he had hardly read the letter before shoving it into his bag and brushing off any attempts at discussing who it was from.
“It’s nothing, just some spam letter. So, who do we have first today? Is it transfiguration? I can’t imagine that will be fun with how angry McGonagall looks right now.” Sirius changed the subject, but it didn’t convince any of you as you eyed him sadly. He didn’t wait for a response as he stood, gripping his bag so tight that his knuckles turned white. “Come on, otherwise we’ll be late”.
You knew something was off just by the quipped tone of his voice, and the humour and light that always seemed to dance in his eyes had been significantly dimmed. Even as James tried to humour him with his usual party tricks and jokes, it only earned him a half-assed chuckle from Sirius. Remus even attempted to pull him aside before entering the classroom to see if he needed a moment alone to talk, but Sirius just distracted him with a quick kiss and said he was fine.
You were quick to sit next to Sirius near the back of the classroom, smiling brightly with the hopes that he would return it, but it seemed he was lost in his thoughts as he idly arranged his parchment paper and quills. Thankfully, as the class began, his hand rested on your thigh so you could link both fingers together, lifting it and kissing the back of his hand.
As McGonagall began to teach the class, you leaned closer to Sirius, savouring the warmth that radiated off him and smelling the citrusy scent from his aftershave. “Is everyone ok, Sirius?” Your voice was barely audible so as not to disrupt the class, but you knew he heard as his posture stiffened, and he nodded his head, fake smiling for a second before returning his attention to the teacher. “I know there’s something wrong. Talking might help; I mean - I want to help-”
“Excuse me at the back. Is there something more important than my lesson?” McGonagall demanded with a passive-aggressive raised eyebrow as all other eyes turned to look at you and Sirius.
As your mouth opened to take the blame, your boyfriend beat you to it, “Sorry, Professor. That was my fault I was distracting her”.
“You’re already on thin ice after last night's antics, Mr Black. See me after class to arrange a detention”.
Your mouth drops open to retort to her and tell him it wasn’t Sirius, but the hand holding yours squeezes, stopping you from saying anything. As McGonagall turns back to write on the chalkboard, you lean close to harshly whisper, “You didn’t have to do that, Sirius! That should have been my detention!”
“It’s only one detention, I don’t care”, he shrugs nonchalantly, releasing your hand to begin writing his notes. You frown so deeply that a line forms between your eyebrows as you glance towards Remus and James, who have similar expressions of worry, especially as Sirius hasn’t even attempted to have any sort of friendly banter with McGonagall like he usually did.
At lunch, Sirius had somehow managed to slip away from the group, and your head seemed to be fixated towards the entrance to the Great Hall, neck straining to see over the other students as you waited for him to walk in.
“I mean, it’s not just me, right? There’s definitely something wrong with him”, you say before nervously nibbling on your lower lip.
Remus’ hand cups your shoulder, gripping gently as he agrees, “It’s not just you. I tried to talk to him before the lesson, but he just pushed me away. He just wants to be by himself; I’m sure he’ll be just fine”.
You nod to yourself but don’t believe his words. Yes, Sirius was strong and had been putting on a strong appearance for years, but he never pushed himself away from the three of you. It was like an invisible angel on your shoulder, trying to nudge you towards him, knowing something wasn’t right.
“Have either of you got the Marauder's map?” you ask Remus and James, who then check their pockets and school bags but cannot find the map.
“Sorry, Love, he’s probably got it with him”, James reports, appearing as deflated as you felt.
Standing from the table, the anxious causing your stomach to clench with unease and unable to eat, you inform the two of them, “I’ll be back later; I just need to make sure he’s ok and safe”.
Remus and James nod in understanding and watch you go. As you stand in the entrance to the Great Hall, you’re unsure where to start and what's worse is that he could be in his Padfoot form, which means he’d be able to hear you coming and run away. There were the grounds to search, Hogsmeade, the entirety of the enormous castle; there were plenty of places for him to be.
Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you decided to search the dormitory first, hoping the map had been left in a draw up there.
Opening the door to the dormitory room that you shared with your boyfriends, you were welcomed to the sight of Sirius, lying face first on the shared bed, his head turned away from the doors but from the noticeable sniffling noises and his shoulders shaking, you knew he was crying. Your heart felt like someone had reached inside your chest and squeezed as the sight rocked you. Silently as you could, you slipped your shoes off and placed your school bag onto the floor.
You knew he was aware someone else was in the room as his cries softened, and he subtly tried to wipe his face into the pillow. As you began to crawl onto the bed, you could see he was spooning the pillow you usually used to sleep on, clutching it desperately close to his chest. You had to remember to breathe through your nose, remain strong, and not descend into your emotions.
Kneeling next to him, your hand gently met the centre of his back, rubbing slow, comforting circles into his white shirt, hoping the action would comfort him. “Sirius, what’s wrong?”
“What? Nothing's wrong” he tried to brush it off, but you could hear the thickness of his voice as he tried to hide his face further in the pillow beneath his head.
“Is it about the letter from earlier? Who sent it to you?” Even though you knew he didn’t really want to talk about it, you knew he’d also built a wall around his emotions and wanted him to feel like he was in a safe enough space to talk, like the many times he’d done the same for you. Reaching over with your other hand, you ran your fingers through the long strands of dark hair, brushing them out of his face that was still turned away from you. “Talk to me, my love, please. I want to help you”.
Reluctantly, Sirius turned over and began to pull you down to lie in the centre of the bed. You did so and spread your arms wide as he moved to lie on your chest, the top of his head resting beneath your chin as you hugged him closely.
“No one important sent me the letter, it’s fine. I just want to cuddle”, he admits with a sigh, relaxing into the hold, the pillow he’d been spooning now forgotten about as he had the real thing instead, finding comfort instantly. In this position, you could hold him close and do the same actions as before, stroking gently up and down his back whilst also playing with his hair.
You want to tell him that you knew who the letter was from, but he seemed content with being held instead for a couple of minutes until you felt dampness seeping across the column of your neck and down your chest as his shoulders began to shake once more.
“Sirius-?”
“It was from my parents. The letter, I mean. Fuck! I don’t know, it's so stupid.” he sits up abruptly, aggressively wiping away the leaked tears he’d been desperately trying to stop.
Sitting beside him, you rubbed his shoulders while trying to calm him down from his overwhelming emotions. “It’s not stupid, my love.” As you talk, you grip his twists to pull them away so he can look into your face and hopefully see the love there. “Your parents, they’re awful people, Sirius, and anyway, you’re perfectly within your right to show emotions every once in a while; I just need you to know that I’m here for you, we’re all here for you, no matter how you are feeling. It’ll be ok”.
Even though it was comforting for him to hear the words, it still seemed to break something within him. Like a crack had formed in the dam as he relented with his cries, openly sobbing into his hands. Whilst trying to swallow the lump that had developed in your throat, you pulled him close, kissing every part of him that you could reach whilst wiping away the cascading tears.
“You don’t have to tell me what was said in the letter, but I just need you to know that they’re not your real family; you know we’re all your family”. Sirius pulls back from the hug, and your bottom lip trembles at seeing how heartbroken he looks. The area around his eyes is swollen and red to match the shade at the tip of his nose as wetness covers the length of his cheeks.
His mouth opens to say something, but he’s interrupted by the door opening and James and Remus stepping into the bedroom. The two men pause, not expecting to find either you or Sirius here, but as they see the sadness and pain on Sirius’s face, they immediately drop their school bags.
“You missed it”, Sirius chuckled, trying to hide his upset behind humour, “She called me an emotional prick, and the waterworks started”. James and Remus gave him sad smiles, but neither fell for the attempt to change the subject as both sat either side of him on the bed. Remus reached for him first, stroking his scarred fingers through the strands of dark hair that had fallen over Sirius’ face, but only so he could kiss the area beneath. Sirius closed his eyes at the touch and leaned into it, releasing a deep sigh through his open mouth.
James grabbed each of his hands, lifting them to his lips to kiss the palms lovingly and rest them on either side of his cheeks, nuzzling into his hands. “Whatever is going on, you know we’re always here for you, Sirius”, James mutters against the palms on his face.
Sirius sighs even heavier as if trying to will the anxiety away through the breaths. “It’s my parents. I mean, should I even call them parents when they’ve already disowned me? But they’ve just sent me more threats today after what happened with Regulus yesterday. They say things like I should have let him win and wish that I had been hurt.”
He takes a moment to compose himself as you grab one of his hands from James, needing to link your fingers together and squeeze to know that it is a safe place for him to continue and talk. Sirius looked into his lap as he spoke, “They’ve burnt my face off the Black family tree. Not that I care; I expected it, but it just all feels so real now, you know? I feel like I shouldn’t even be using the surname Black with how much they detest me. I also kind of expected Regulus to have my back a little bit, but he’s young; I can’t expect that from him, especially as I know what my parents are like, but he doesn’t even say hi to me in the corridors anymore. I don’t know. I guess I’m just a little all over the place, and with the positivity yesterday, just to have my family metaphorically kick me to the curb again, I should have expected the joy wouldn’t last long”.
Sirius sounded empty and emotionless as he expressed how he was genuinely feeling, struggling to come to terms with the repercussions of the events that occurred with his family that continue to affect him.
“Fuck them”, James says with all the venom and confidence that he could muster. Sirius grunts half-heartedly at the declaration, not seemingly convinced, so James turns his face towards him so that he is looking into the stormy hazel eyes. “I’m being serious, fuck them. You’ve been my family for years now; you know my parents consider you their son as much as I am. Nothing has changed. You live with me and my parents because that is your home. Wherever any of us go is your home because we love you. We wouldn’t make you feel half as rotten as those scumbags, do you understand?”
Sirius nods, swallowing thickly, causing his Adam’s apple to bob. Before he can respond, Remus once again holds onto his face, turning him in the other direction to look at the calmest Marauder. “Sirius, next time you receive a letter from them, don’t open it. They are cruel humans who have no love for anyone but themselves and the prejudices that they live by. You had so much joy and love in your heart; don’t let them destroy you and ruin everything you cherish. And that is exactly what James has said. You’re our family. We’re each other's family. You’re ours, just like you’re mine. Get it?”
Sirius’ eyes have dried as he looks up at Remus, and briefly, a genuine smile welcomes across his face as he leans in to kiss him deeply but then pulls back.
Squeezing his hand, you draw his attention towards you. “You deserve the surname Black more than anyone because it’s what makes you, you—breaking the stereotypes of those evil people and making it mean something that doesn't symbolise hatred. However, if you want to have another surname, you can! Sirius, you’re your own person, and your surname doesn’t define you. You could even make up a whole new name! Maybe you could have one of our surnames”, Sirius laughs at the possibility of a name change. “I love you so much. Your family's opinions of you aren’t how anyone else in the castle sees you. You’re perfect the way you are, Mr Black”.
You couldn’t wait any more time to kiss him, needing to feel his lips against yours and reassure him further with these intimate touches.  Thankfully, to your pounding heart, he smiles into the kiss.
“Maybe we could put all of our surnames together”, he jokes as you move to kiss each of his cheeks. 
“If that’s what you want, I’d do it”, you reassure him with a kiss on his temple.
“Almost sounds like a proposal”, he casually mentions, causing your heartbeat to increase rapidly. Sirius smirks at your face but reassures, “Maybe we’ll sort out surnames once we’ve finished our exams”. You press your lips against his once more for reassurance until he looks between the three of you. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do if it weren’t for you three. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed before coming to Hogwarts, let alone feel love like this”.
Remus could see the tears pooling along Sirius’ lashline, so he gently cupped the side of his head, wiping away any that fell. “No more tears for them”. The gap between their lips was closed as Remus kissed him passionately, holding the back of his head carefully as they breathed each other in.
Sirius’ head dips slightly, but only to whisper against the man’s lips, “Can you make me forget? Please?”
“I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Sirius”. Remus kisses him again but with more urgency, pushing his body back until Sirius is lying in the centre of the bed with the taller Marauder hovering above him. Their mouths moved together as one, tongues twirling together, heads tilting one way and then the other.
As Remus distracts and devours him with his mouth, Sirius’ hands move around the back of his head, holding him close, which gives James the freedom to move his hands to Sirius’ shirt. With a simple flick of his fingers, James could undo the buttons down the centre of his chest, releasing the toned chest and abdomen of the man whose legs you were sitting between.
You watched with the sadness seeping away and becoming replaced with arousal as James leaned over and licked the nipples of the man who moaned into Remus’ mouth. James was calculated with his movements, making sure to leave teasing licks and bites over the areas that Sirius was most sensitive whilst then worshipping the perked nipples on his chest, his hands caressing the areas where fine dark hair was beginning to grow back from being previous shaved, mainly the snail trail leading beneath his trousers.
Smiling whilst watching them all move together, you were gifted the view of watching the tightness forming in his trousers as his cock grew hard and thick. Without any rush and admiring the desperate moans coming from the man on his back, you began to stroke up his thighs, over his crotch and pausing over his zipper.
Undoing it slowly, you waited to see if Sirius was even aware of what you were doing as he was so distracted with James and  Remus. However, with the sudden lift of his hips to help you pull the material down his hips, you knew he was very much aware of your intentions.
Freeing his cock from the restraint of his trousers and boxers, you watched as Sirius lowered his hips back onto the bed, and his member now throbbed on his abdomen, thick and hard. A pearly drip of precum had already formed at the tip, and you were quick to hold the base, lifting the cock until your lips were wrapped around him.
Your movements continue to be gentle and soft. Licking and sucking without any rush to build the tension and hopefully show how much you worship the ground he walks on by paying particular attention to him when he needs it most. James continues to tweak his nipples, and Remus devours his mouth, absorbing every little moan until Sirius needs to pull back to suck in air.
“Fuck, you’re all- Fuck!” Remus distracts him with his mouth once more, dominating him entirely and causing more whimpers to burst from his chest. The veiny length that was being leisurely sucked in your mouth began to harden further, throbbing as you knew he was approaching closer to his orgasm as your hands fondled his balls.
“So good for us, aren’t you, Sirius? Say it, tell us you’re ours”, James demands, pulling on the back of Remus’ hair so that Sirius can tell the group how he is feeling.
“Yes! I’m yours, I’m all of yours! I’m cumming, holy shit!” he shouts out desperately, face scrunching up like he is in pain but is actually experiencing the opposite as overwhelming pleasure pooled in his abdomen.
You moan around his cock, causing it to vibrate slightly against your tongue as his hot seed begins to coat your throat. You swallow every salty, thick liquid drop until you’re popping off and looking up at his half-lidded, satisfied grin.
James and Remus give you room to crawl up his body to kiss him sweetly. The three of you watch and admire as he comes down from the high, carefully tucking his half-hard cock back into his trousers and doing up the zipper once more.
“Thank Merlin that we have no classes this afternoon”, Sirius jokes as he rests back on the pillows with his arm behind his head. You laugh and collapse onto his chest, hugging him closely as the four of you sit in comfortable silence. You listened to the thump of his heart beneath your ear, but after a while, it increased in speed as he became restless.
“Can I tell you all a secret? I’ve um… I’ve kept all of the threatening letters they’ve sent to me, " Sirius admits as he carefully pulls out of the hug to climb out of bed and dig his way through the suitcase with his name on the side. From within, he pulls out a large stack of letters that are all opened and in the same shade of emerald as the one earlier this morning.
“You kept them all? Oh, Sirius”, you say in shock, only guessing what horrible, hateful words are written on those pieces of paper.
Sirius awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed, “Yeah. I don’t know why. Some weird part of me thought that if I burned them all, they would know and come to the school or something. But, I want to get rid of them if you’ll all help me?”
Neither of you have to answer as you climb out of the bed. After dressing appropriately, the four of you walked down to the lake, where Remus carved a hole into the soil. Sirius chucks the letters within as you all form a semi-circle.
Holding onto his left hand, Sirius raised his wand to the right, pointing it towards the letters and shouting ‘Incendio’. The four of you stand together as the letters burn. Sirius sighs shakily as he holds back tears. “It’s weird. I know people say it’s like a weight off your shoulders, but it genuinely does feel like that”.
“That’s because you’re free, Padfoot!” James shouts enthusiastically, grabbing the boy around the waist and lifting him into the air, hollering and whooping until Sirius laughs. The two crash to the ground as Remus throws his arm around your shoulders, watching the pair finally have some fun today as the smoke billows into the air surrounding you, the ash from those horrible words written on the paper disappearing across the Scottish mountains.
751 notes · View notes
despacito-uwu16 · 1 month
Text
The Resolution
Kenji Sato x Journalist! Reader
Enemies To Lovers | Forced Proximity | Pining
<- prev end
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
We could be, we could be anything tonight, just tell me anything you like. Can’t you see, we could be something if we tried, just tell me how to make you mine.
Make You Stay- Girl and the Dreamcatcher
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
Despite you leaving for Norway today, your boss asked you to cover the championship game, with the benefit of letting you leave during the 7th inning stretch.
Instead of taking notes, you just sat and watched the game. Ken was there cheering for his team, despite the broken arm. You tried to avoid looking at Ken, but it was difficult when the jumbotron would feature him every ten minutes. To your knowledge, he hasn’t said anything about the one-night stand in college. Which was surprising, because you were ready to come clean about it all. 
“Hey Y/N”?
You turn to Ami. 
“Is everything all right”? She asks.
“Yeah, I’m totally fine”! You assured her.
“Really? Cause you haven’t touched your recorder”. She points to the device that is resting on the table.
“Oh, that old thing? I don’t need it”. You laughed. Ami looked at you unamused. 
“Is this about Ken”? She asks. Your side eyed her slowly. “What makes you think this is about Ken”? 
“Y/N”. Ami raised her eyebrow. “Every time Ken appears on the jumbotron, you look away. Also, you’ve been staring at Ken’s social media page”. She points to your phone on your lap. Your phone was on low brightness but Kenji’s X page was still visible to Ami’s eyes. You turn your phone off and put it on the table facing down. 
“You are psychotic”. 
“It’s just an observation”. Ami shrugs.
You continue to watch the game, mentally counting down the minutes you have until you finally get to leave. 
“Have you talked to him since the interview”? Ami asks.
“No. And I don’t have a reason to”. 
“Maybe you should at least see him before you leave”. She suggested 
“Like I said, I don’t have a reason to talk to him. He was merely an assignment”. You lied.
As soon as the announcer announces the 7th inning stretch, you begin to pack your bags. 
“And that’s my cue to leave”. You smiled as you put your bag straps on your shoulder
“Before you go, a little piece of advice”. Ami says halting you to a stop.
“You’re the youngest reporter in the business. You’ve done so much for yourself. So don’t be afraid to be spontaneous sometimes”. 
You slowly nodded. “Okay then, well, it was nice working with you too Ami”. You exited the media room and then started to speed walk to the parking lot
~
Kenji’s eyes dart up at the media room and then back to the game. Every time his eyes looked into the room, his heart sank. He looks at the empty chair with sadness. You were already gone. 
“SATO! EYE ON THE GAME”! Coach Shimura yells.
Sato sat up straight and watched the game, trying to not think about you. 
“Dude, you okay? You’ve been out of focus since you got back”. His teammate, Ryouta, says. 
“I’m fine”. Ken says, trying to watch the game. 
“Really? Because your eyes keep wandering at the media box”. Ryouta presses on
“Um, Ryouta? Enough about me, more on the game”. 
“If this is about the reporter chick, you should go after her”. 
Ken groaned. “Ryouta, drop it. Y/N’s already gone. She’s probably on that plane right now”. 
~
“UGH WHAT THE HELL”! You honked at the car in front of you. “DRIVE FASTER”! You yelled. You looked out the window and saw a line of cars ahead of yours. Of all the days the kaiju had to destroy the highway, it just had to be the day you were leaving. You slightly slide into your seat. 
“Don’t be afraid to be spontaneous”. Ami echoed in your mind.
“Ugh, what is up with her and her psychic advice”? You scoff as you tap your pointer finger on the steering wheel. 
The world was so persistent on guilt-tripping you today. While you were loading your luggage’s into your car, all of the billboards surrounding your apartment had Ken’s face plastered front and center with a chicken leg in his hand. During your drive to the stadium, there were posters of Ken and his signature colognes on the telephone poles. And now, as you were waiting forever in your car, a blimp flew over the highway every few minutes with a beer ad starring Ken. 
“Tastes like a home run”. He would say repeatedly.
You groaned. This was a sign. A sign that you have to make things right with Kenji. You stepped on the gas pedal, driving out of the line of cars and off to the nearest exit.
~
“You know, I don’t think it’s too late to go find her and tell her how you feel. It’ll make you chivalrous”. Said Ryouta. 
Kenji pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ryouta. Game. Focus”. 
“I know, I know, but I just think, you shouldn’t go in with life without any regrets. Life is too short, and I think she would like it if she reached out”. 
Kenji turns to Ryouta. ready to yell at him. But for some reason, he was right. The least Kenji could do is head to the airport and apologize to you in person. But he was stuck here, afraid that one wrong move could piss off his coach. 
The crowd cheers as another player from the Giants steps up to the plate, ready to hit the ball. Kenji looks at his watch and then at the sight of the game. 
“Go, I’ll cover you”. Ryouta whispers in Ken’s ear. 
“Thank you, Ryouta”. Ken pats his shoulder and runs out of the box unnoticed. 
~
You quickly got out of your car and ran off, not caring if it was locked or not. You ran towards the stadium in hopes that you could catch Ken. You hear the crowds roar as you almost reach the entrance. A small round object launched into the sky, falling out of the dome. You didn’t pay attention to it and focused on the entrance. 
“Y/N”! Someone yelled. 
But before you could turn your head, everything went pitch black. 
~
“Y/N”? 
You open your eyes and a bright light blinds you. Someone helped you sit up and put an ice pack on your head. 
“Y/N, are you okay”? You turn to see three Ken Satos looking down at you. 
“Ken? I thought you were an only child”. 
He chuckles, “It’s probably the concussion talking”.
Eventually, your eyes started to adjust to reality, but the pounding headache was still lingering.
“What happened”? 
“You got hit by a baseball. Again. I found you unconscious by the stadium entrance”.
“Oh, so that’s what it was”. 
“On the bright side, it wasn’t me who knocked you out this time”. He laughs.
You try to laugh, but the pain in your head begins to throb. Ken adjusts the ice pack on your head. 
“So, did you guys”…
Ken shows the championship ring on his ring finger. You smile. “Congrats”. 
“Thanks”. 
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be celebrating with your team”? 
“I wanted to see if you were okay and to apologize for everything, for what happened during college, what I said last month, and for blackmailing you. I was completely selfish. You have every right to be mad at me”. 
“I’m not really mad at you. For one thing, I should be apologizing to you too. For what happened in college. I was so focused on my career that I wasn’t being self-aware, and ended up hurting your feelings. I wasn’t using you for any story. But it didn’t look that way when I left that morning. I’m sorry ”. 
Kenji smiles. “I guess everything was built by a few misunderstandings”.
“Yeah, it was. I’m glad we got to sort it out”. 
You look up at the clock on the wall.
8:51 PM
“Great, I missed my flight. And considering I just ended my lease on my apartment, looks like I have to go hotel hunting”. 
“Or, you can stay with me for the night”. Ken suggested.
“Are you sure, I don’t want to intrude”-
“I want you to. As a way to make up for everything. Also, Emi really misses you”. 
~
You walk into Kenji’s house and the feeling of peace returns to you. The first thing you do when entering the home is head to the basement to see Emi. As soon as you step out of the elevator, Emi immediately runs up to you, chirping gleefully and jumping up and down with joy. 
“I told you, she’s Y/N deprived”. 
You laugh. “Well, I missed you too Emi”. 
For the rest of the night you both played with Emi until she got tired. After putting her in the tube, you both settled down on the couch. You were trying to find flights for tomorrow, while Ken was trying to find his energy drink in the cooler. 
“Thanks for letting me stay. Despite everything”. You said as you turned off your phone. 
Kenji grabs his drink and cracks it open “It’s no problem. Like I said, I wanted to make it up to you”. He gives you a soft smile before drinking from the can. 
“So, did you find another flight”? He asks. 
“Yep, leaves tomorrow afternoon”.
“That’s great”.
You raise an eyebrow. “You aren’t going to try to stop me”?
“Nah, I don’t want to get in the way again”. He says. 
You were both sitting in silence, watching Emi intently while Mina sang her a lullaby. 
“Although”… He adds
You turn to Kenji. He takes your hands and holds them gently. 
“I don’t want to go the rest of my life without telling you how much you mean to me. You’re more than just Emi’s babysitter. You’re everything that I want. For the last two months, I never felt so alone whenever I’m with you. You make me want to become the best version of myself and become a better person. I know I can’t make you stay, but I want you to know that I love you”. 
~
That night, you were lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling. You were thinking about Kenji’s confession. About how you were about to respond, but he ran out to do “Ultraman business”, knowing all too well that he can’t fight with a broken arm. But you knew deep down, he was scared. Scared that he was going to repeat the same mistakes, scared that you were going to laugh at him.
You hear a buzz coming from your phone and you turn it on. 
UNITED AIRLINES
FLIGHT FROM TOKYO TO OSLO 
Boarding Time: 1:05
Flight Time: 1:45 PM 
CHECK-IN NOW 
Your stomach turns as you look at it. Instead of being excited, you lay there with an ultimatum. Kenji or your job. Your job made you happy. You achieved more promotions and accomplishments than any other reporter. You were traveling the world, and you were getting so much praise from everyone. While you were happy, deep down you weren’t satisfied. On the other hand, being with Kenji brought you peace. Sure you two didn’t get along at first, but as time passed by, you were comfortable around him. You haven’t felt any comfort since you started your current job. You’re scared to think about what life would be like if you left Japan already. How upsetting it would be if you left Kenji behind without telling him…
You love him too.
Your cheeks heat up, and you feel your heart beating faster. 
You love Kenji. 
The billboards, Ami’s advice, and the baseball incident led you back to Kenji. And this time, the world was giving you a second chance. 
So with your impulses ready to take the risk, you begin to text your boss.
~
The next morning, you wake up to the smell of something burning. You got up and ran out of your room. When you get to the kitchen, you see Kenji putting down a plate of food on the table. 
“Hey, you’re awake”! He smiles. “Breakfast is almost ready”! 
You look down at the plate of food. The toast was almost burnt to a crisp. The bacon looks too oily and ready to turn into ash. As for the eggs, it looks completely overcooked and a little black. 
“I know it looks unappetizing, but if you put a lot of ketchup on the eggs, it’ll mask the ashy taste”. Kenji says earnestly. 
“You made this for me”? You look back at Kenji. 
“Well yeah. You made dinner for me multiple times, so I thought I would do something for you too. Also, you have a flight today so I just wanted to make sure you eat well and”-
Before Kenji could finish his thought, you walked up to him and locked your lips onto his. Kenji stands there in shock, but eventually returns the kiss, holding you close with his arm. He held you tightly not wanting to let you go. You pull away to catch your breath, Kenji puts his forehead onto yours, his breath shaky. 
“I canceled my flight”. You say, finally speaking up. 
His eyes widened. “What? What about Norway”?
“I told my boss that I want to continue working in Japan. He was more than understanding. So he extended my residency here. Meaning, I’m staying”.
“But why Y/N? What about your dreams”?
“Norway can wait. I am still young after all. Plus I don’t want to go on with the rest of my life without telling you… I love you too, Kenji”. 
Kenji smiles and kisses you again. 
“I love you Y/N. I promise to never take you for granted, and to make every minute of every day worth”-
Suddenly, you both hear a high pitch alarm go off and see a visible trail of black clouds coming from the oven. Kenji’s happy face turned into horror as he ran towards the oven.
“NO NO NO NOT THE HASH BROWNS”. 
You tried to stifle your laughter as he tried to grab the tray from the oven with one hand. You grabbed an oven mitt and helped him take it out, the smell of burnt potatoes hitting your nose. Kenji throws the burnt potato patties in the trash can. He sighs as he grabs his phone from his pocket
“How about we take out”. 
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
BONUS SCENE (cause I love my patient pookies) 
“So what’s gonna happen now that you’re staying in Japan”? Kenji asks as he takes a bite of his ham and cheese omelette. 
“Well, I get to obsess over one of the greatest living players in history”. You responded as you finished your bacon strip. 
Kenji sits up tall with a toothy grin. 
“I mean, Ohtani is so amazing. I mean, his batting average is perfect”. You dreamily sigh. Ken pouts at you, making you laugh. 
“Aww you jealous”? 
“Pft, no”. He crosses his arms and huffs.
You put your to go box down on the coffee table and scoot closer to Kenji. 
“Awww it’s okay”. You cooed while slightly pinching Kenji’s cheeks. “You’re still the second greatest player of all time”.
Suddenly, Kenji throws his to go box on the table and tackles you down on the couch. You screamed as Kenji begins to tickle you.
“Hey, you’re arm”! You breathed out while you point at his sling.
“Eh, it’s almost healed anyway”. He shrugs, continuing his assault.
“Stop”! You laugh.
“Say it”! 
“Okay, okay”! You breathed out. “You, Kenji Sato, is the greatest living baseball player”.
“Better than Ohtani”? 
“Better than Ohtani”.
“Yes”! He hugs you tightly as you both fell back on the couch. 
“I’m glad you’re staying with me”. Kenji whispers and kisses your forehead. You cuddle closer to him, hearing his steady breathing and relaxed heart beat. 
“I’m glad I get to stay with you”.
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
A/N: My first mini-series is complete!! Thanks for being patient with the posting schedule. It’s so hard trying to figure out what day to post and what time. I also want to thank you for reading!! It was such a lengthy process and I’m glad it’s finally out and in the open! The comments are so sweet and I always look forward to reading them. I have a few projects cooking, but it’s probably gonna get posted later on. And with school coming up, some stuff might take longer than others. Thank you guys for your support! I love the Ultraman community so much!!
Likes, Comments and Reblogs are always appreciated!!!
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
Tag List
@imconfusedbutok
@deadbydadwrites
@introvertthief
@rdjsprincess
@boomboom-tanjiro2019
@moyadorogaya
@holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni
@lovingyeet
@ofichan
@nina-from-317
@lunaryasha
@kocho-catt
@scarasw1f3
@mochminnie
@ritzes28
@aise-30
@ghostatrixx
@sorilyae
@marshhbs
@badbishblog
@rosaliin-blog
@singlepringle4you
@nowjillsandwich
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
132 notes · View notes
kakujis · 1 year
Text
do you love me?;
Tumblr media
synopsis: waking them up at 3am just to ask if they love u. pt 2 here. 3 4
warnings: clingy reader, pet names, slightly suggestive in yuzuha's, but besides that none really! no set timeline. gn!reader. not proofread!
feat: mikey, baji, yuzuha.
a/n: this is so cute in theory, but i would probably fight if this happened to me irl!! anyways, i was sad and wanted to write somethin' cute. also, my first time writing for my yuzuha n i lost my mind.. expect more of her in the future!
Tumblr media
mikey:
“manjiro..” you whisper, poking softly at his sleeping face. you knew this was a dumb idea, but sometimes you really just needed to hear it, something that would set your heart at ease. something only mikey could say. 
“mm.” is all you get, as you try to rustle him from sleep. he sleeps on his stomach, hair falling around his face like a curtain as his cheek presses against the pillow. 
“maaanjiroo.” you try again, voice a little louder this time as you poke his cheek even harder, dragging out the call of his name, giggling as you note the give of his plush skin indenting where your finger marks. so cute and so soft. 
“what?” mikey groans, shifting in his dream-like state so that he’s facing away from you, clearly annoyed. he pulls the blanket further over him as he does this, wanting to tune you out. he can’t help it, he’s sleepy. 
but you persist, moving closer and wrapping your arms around his covered form, eliciting another noise from him, but this time not so irritated. 
“i love you.” you murmur, resting your cheek on his shoulder and peering down at the tufts of blond hair peeking from beneath the fabric. “i love you sooo much, like i wanna explode when i look at you type of love.” 
you wait a moment before you pull the blanket down slightly. is he really not gonna say it back? you pull him down, forcing him onto his back. you pout, when you make eye contact with him. drowsy, black eyes peer up into yours with a dust of red on the tops of his cheeks. 
“do you love me, mikey?” you whisper, a little hurt he still hasn’t said it yet. 
he nods, before he brings his hands up to cup your cheek. “yeah, i love you a lot.” he gives a languid smile and you beam. 
“more than anything?” you ask, excitement tinting your voice, mood already brightened.
“yeah.” he yawns, head nodding as he answers your question.
“more than sleep?” you inquire with a tilt of your head that sets mikey’s heart racing. 
“mhm.” he hums.
“even taiyaki?” you press, readying the list of his favorite things, other than you of course. 
“mm, that one’s kind of a stretch.“ he quips, eyes filled with mirth, lips curling up into a bigger smile. 
“hey..” you frown, but mikey continues, pulling you in and hugging you a little harder in his embrace. 
“c’mon, let’s sleep. i’m sleepy.” he sighs, slinging his leg over you as he turns to spoon you, making sure you’ll sleep this time. 
“okay,” you resign, settling into his warm embrace. it’s not often mikey’s the big spoon, so you try your best to not pester him more. whenever you are like this, it’s snug and comfortable, cozy and reassuring. you close your eyes to try and let sleep take you. 
“…but by the way, my babu is really important-“
“mikey!” 
Tumblr media
baji: 
baji had fallen asleep before you, mumbling something about how he’d tell you all about his day with toman tomorrow once he rested up. 
but there was something itching in you, something annoying that wracked your brain and crept up on you during the early morning hours like this. you peered over at his sleeping form, one arm flung above his head while the other laid on his midriff. he was snoring pretty loudly and you could see his pearly fangs under the moonlight. 
you couldn’t sleep, your insecurity gnawing at you from inside, so you turned to fully face him tapping on his side. 
“kei.. wake up,” you mumbled, inching closer to his sleeping face. 
unconsciously, the hand that was on his belly flings up to swat you away. there’s no power behind it and it is just an unconscious reaction, but it turns that insecurity into annoyance. 
“…oi.” you hiss, but the sound of your voice has his hand flying up again. you scoff, before taking his pointer finger and biting down. 
“what the fuck!” he yelps, amber eyes shot open at the pressure. at first he’s confused, but when he glances down he barks a laugh at you, your face contorted in anger as you nibble on him. “let go, dummy, i’m awake.”
he uses his free hand to flick at your forehead and you release. laying your head on his chest, you look up at him, feeling the rise and fall of his body and hearing the beat of his heart. 
“so, whatcha want?” he asks, fully awake from your little love bite. baji’s eyes are always soft when he looks at you, like he’s staring at the whole world. 
“do you love me?” you ask, pouting and blinking up at him with puppy dog eyes. 
baji ponders for a second, before poking your cheek. “do birds fly?” 
“seriously, kei!” you whine, shifting up and wrapping your arms around his neck. “do you love me?” you ask with such earnesty that something in baji’s chest blooms, and it blooms with such intensity he can’t help but cup the back of your head and bring you in for a kiss. 
his lips on yours are soft and when he pulls away, the grip on your hair lessened, you realize the silliness of your insecurity. but baji wants to make sure you hear it too. 
“i love you,” he grins, a finger touching the tip of your nose, “a little too much.” 
you smile, little pin pricks of tears lining your eyes and baji groans.
“one minute you’re biting my hand off, the next you’re crying… you make no sense.” he grumbles, playing with your hair in one hand. you hum when he tugs, melting a bit into his embrace. “you good?”
you nod, laying your head back onto his chest, “‘m good.” you sigh as you settle back into place, eyes closing at the feeling of baji’s hand running through your hair. he always knows what relaxes you best, he always knows that each fleeting thought in your head is best subdued with his own affirmations. what a dumb thought to have, of course he loved you. “love you so much, kei.” 
“i know.” he continues to play with your hair, fingers intertwining with your locks. he watches you with such warmth, you could say that he was the sun. 
“by the way, they don’t all fly,” you smirk, trying to stifle a laugh, “so that question was a little lame.” 
his hand pauses and even with your eyes shut, you can see his face contort in confusion. “huh?” 
“penguins. kiwis. ostriches. emus. none of those fly.” you snicker, “google it.” 
you feel him reach over for his phone on the nightstand. it only takes a few more moments for him to unlock his phone and look it up, but you can’t control your laugh when you hear him groan and say, “are you fuckin’ kidding me?!” 
Tumblr media
yuzuha: 
you were always begging your girlfriend to watch a movie with you. every night without fail, she’d agree, rolling her eyes when you’d suggest a romcom for the nth night in a row. but you always thought yuzuha was so pretty when she laughed, the way her eyes crinkled and she’d look back at you as if to say “did that really just happen?” but there was also the way she'd seek your hand out in the more serious parts of the movie, squeezing wordless affirmations into your veins.
and your heart always skipped a thousand beats when she did. really, watching a movie with her was just an excuse to steal as many glances at her as you wanted as she was too distracted to notice. tonight was no different, the two of you giggling and cuddling away under the blanket. 
near the end of the movie, yuzuha had fallen asleep on the other side of the couch, her long strawberry locks cascading over the side of her face as she slept. you sat there, in the dark, watching the end credits when a sudden wave of sadness hit. 
it wasn’t the first time she’d fallen asleep on you, and you had fallen asleep on her a couple times as well, but you were still a little somber. you crawl over, wrapping your arms around her and she shifts in her sleep. 
“mm?” she blinks with sleep laden eyes, a little upturned smile when she notices it’s you. 
“yuzu..” you whisper, burying your face into her neck as her arms come around to hold you. 
“what’s up, angel?” she mumbles into your hair, rubbing her cheek against it. 
“do you love me?” you ask, still pressed against her neck. your breath fans across her skin and she giggles, telling you “that tickles!” but you huff again, not only from annoyance but because her giggle is like a birdsong.
“yuzuha..” you whine, as she continues to giggle, body trembling. you glance up at her both your faces tinted red, noses so close they’re almost touching, “do you love me?” 
“more than you could ever know.” she proclaims and you swear her golden eyes are twinkling. “what about you? do you love me?” she asks, tilting her head a little. 
“more than hakkai loves mitsuya… probably.” you tease and she scoffs, before closing the distance and pressing her lips against yours. the two of you continue to press kiss after kiss, even as the movie credits roll to an end and all the light that’s left is the slight illumination from the tv. 
you don’t even hear the shuffling of feet across the floor, too immersed in the plushness of yuzuha’s lips against yours. it’s not until you hear a particularly disgusted groan that you pull away, looking up right up at hakkai, holding an empty glass and is slightly turned to face the hallway wall. 
“if you’re gonna suck face, can’t you do it in your room sis?” hakkai asks, trying his best to not look at you. 
“oops.” she says, blinking up at her brother, “sorry about that.”
you pull off of yuzuha, face heating up in embarrassment. “sorry hakkai,” you say sheepishly, before you feel the tug of your girlfriend’s hand on yours, pulling you up off the couch. she winks at you as you interlock hands, starting the trek back to her room.
3K notes · View notes
forgottenflickr · 6 months
Note
This sounds silly, but oh my gosh— this blog just makes me feel so much whenever I see a new post from here in my dash. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that specific kind of emotion before. Like… on one hand, it makes me really really sad, that there was a time on the internet when we didn’t have to worry about AI scraping and reverse image searches and could just post our silly little everyday pics. That was before my time, but I wish that I could still do that now.
On the other hand, this makes me also feel incredibly touched. I love this so much because it’s just small glimpses of people’s lives, shown through a medium that no longer exists (I don’t think people still post this kind of content often or have the platform for it?). It’s the view someone thought was pretty on a day when I was two years old and I will never meet this person and maybe they’ve passed away and maybe they no longer think of that view or maybe they dream of it but either way, here I am, staring at the snow on the glass and like… fuck.
Beauty is eternal, of course, but the most wealthy in societies across history have tried to leave great monuments for us to remember them by. But I’ve never looked at those old statues of great and felt this way about them. I see the slaves who built them and the emperors who were forced into marriages and died young. (Though there can be beauty there, too, sometimes — not all artefacts or rulers created equal, of course.) But these pictures… they weren’t taken with that intent. They were uploaded to be shared, sure, but the contents of them — rainbows, teddy bears, pets. People sharing what they love with us, who they will never know, and we who will never know them.
That just makes me so oddly emotional for some reason. I do follow a religion but I also feel very deeply about Earth and civilisations and humanity, about what we put into the world and what we leave behind when we’re gone. And this blog, for me, is a literal time capsule of why I cry to be human, sometimes — because love never ends, does it? Someone loves something enough to take a picture of it, because it touches their heart. You love these pictures enough to start this blog, because they touch your heart too. I see them on my dash and they touch my heart too. Years or identities don’t matter, but the love has stayed. Been built on, even. Is there anything more beautiful than that?
I’m literally crying all over again, so basically — what I wanted to say is that I think this is a really cool blog, op, and thank you for sharing these photos with us <3
❤️❤️❤️
172 notes · View notes
profound-imagination · 7 months
Text
Before You Go - Fenrys Moonbeam
A/N: I’m so freaking proud of this fic I hope you love it! Also I’ve tried my hand at a lil smut so please feel free to give constructive criticism!
T/W: Maeve, Smut, Vision of Maeve & Fenrys, Angst, Death - I think that’s it! Let me know if I’ve missed any!
W/C: 5K
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
100 Years Ago:
“You did what?!” You seethed at the White Wolf who was looking anywhere but at you. “I swore a blood oath…to Maeve.” The words hit you like a physical blow and tears lined your eyes. “Why…why would you do that?” You asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. He looked at you then, his face shuttering as he took in your unshed tears. “For Connall, the things she makes him do, Y/N, I can’t, I can’t allow it.” You sighed, heart breaking as you looked at the Male in front of you, your mate. Not that he knew, if he did he hadn’t told you, just like how you hadn’t told him. “He’ll resent you for taking his place, Fen, he came to visit, while you were gone with your elite force, he seemed happy.”
You’d grown up with the twins, your parents serving under theirs but there was always something about Fenrys, something that pulled you in. They were five years older than you and you’d put it down to a school girl crush. Connall hated it. He didn’t speak to you for 2 years after he confessed his feelings for you on your 18th birthday. You had just looked helplessly at his twin and he had known then, had understood there was something unspoken between you and his brother. It infuriated him. Connall had always felt lesser than his twin, who was favoured by their father and now by you, it seemed. “I can’t let her have him like that, Connall deserves a true and pure love, not this.” You scoffed, “What, so it’s better for you to be her whore instead?” You spat, his eyes hardening at your words, “Tell me, will you be allowed to leave her chambers? To be the warrior you always wanted to be or will you be leashed to her bed like the dog that you are?”
Anger rolled off of him in waves as he took a step back from you, “That’s enough.” He said quietly but you were so past trying to understand his reasoning. “Maybe he loves her, Fen? Did you think of that?” He scoffed this time, “Even if he does, she doesn’t and won’t ever love him back, she’s incapable of it.” You put your hands on your hips, “So what now? You’ve come to say goodbye? Tell me I’ll never see you again?” His face softened as your voice cracked. “You’ll see me again, but yes, I came to say goodbye.” Anger was still coursing through your veins as you said, “You better go then, your shackles on her bed are waiting. Goodbye, Fenrys.” You turned and walked away, you didn’t look back.
85 Years Ago:
The first ten years without the twins, without Fenrys, had been hard. You’d lost your parents to one of Maeve’s many wars, the twins' parents only just making it back themselves. They had taken you in, despite the fact you were an adult and your own parents had left you more than enough. It was like their mother knew this would be the final blow for you and she refused to let you fall into your despair. She’d moved you into Fenrys’ room, “So you’re here when he comes back,” she had said, “A mate's presence heals most things, even if they're not physically here.” You didn’t know how she knew nor did you ask at the time as you crawled into his bed and slept for days.
Fenrys sent everything he was feeling down the mating bond unknowingly. You could stop him from feeling your feelings which you’d been actively doing since it snapped for you but you couldn’t block his. The hatred, the anger, the sadness, the submission, the pleasure. It made you physically sick. Sometimes, when his emotions were particularly high, you saw it all as well, through his eyes. You’d never forget that first time.
Maeve on top of him, her naked form grinding in his lap. “What’s the matter little pup?” She taunted from above him, “Performance nerves?” He was panicking, you could feel the panic coursing through him, the dread that if he didn’t perform she’d bring Connall in here instead. She scraped her nails down his chest, “You really are pretty for a dog, Fenrys.” She crooned, rolling her hips again, “I can help you enjoy it and perhaps eventually you’ll learn to enjoy it on your own.” She leant forward and kissed up his neck, her canines scraping as she went, disgust shot through him as one hand wrapped around his throat and the other slid towards his cock. “Enjoy it.” She whispered seductively in his ear, “You want me, Fenrys, you want this.” She sucked on his earlobe and the disgust started to dissipate, replaced by lust. “You want to fuck me, to satisfy me.” She continued as his cock stiffened in her hand. She dragged herself up his body, until she had a leg on either side of his head. “Go ahead pup,” she crooned, “eat.”
You witnessed the whole thing. She had ridden him until she was satisfied and when he was spent she sent him away like he was nothing. The last thing you saw when Fenrys opened her chamber door was Connall on the other side, betrayal like nothing you’d ever seen written across his face. You’d thrown up until your body had given out and you moved out of his room and his parents house the next day.
This went on for ten years until you’d had enough, you couldn’t take it anymore, feeling what he was feeling, witnessing it. You had amassed the funds your parents had left you and ventured to Doranelle, for an audience with the Queen. You smoothed down the skirts of your dress as you waited to be called into her throne room. Fenrys was here and nearby, you could feel the bond coming to life and singing that its counterpart was close. A guard approached and nodded for you to follow him, so you took a deep breath and did just that. It’s for the twins, you told yourself over and over again as you rounded the corner and took in Maeve sitting upon her stone throne, two wolves sat either side, one white, one black, both of their ears shot up and their eyes widened as they took you in. A white tailed hawk sat above her right shoulder, a massive Osprey sat above her left. In one of the alcoves close to the throne stood the biggest male you had ever seen and another male with golden hair and tattoos.
“You asked for an audience?” Maeve asked, her voice sounded bored and uninterested. You bowed as low as you could before speaking, “Yes your majesty, thank you for granting my wish.” You said, your voice sounding stronger than you felt, she waved a hand for you to continue. “I have come to ask if you will allow me to buy the wolves out of their servitude? They are needed at home but of course majesty I understand they are of great importance to you so I offer all that I have, including myself, in their stead.” Maeve tilted her head in consideration. Connall was staring at his queen, but Fenrys, Fenrys was staring at you, a sadness in his eyes, a desperation telling you to take back your offer and run.
Maeve tipped her head back and laughed, she laughed like you had told the best joke she had ever heard and as quickly as she laughed, it ended. The Fae Queen leveled you with a look, “No.” You stepped forward, Connall bared his teeth and let out a warning growl that shocked you to your very core. “But, I-“ the Queen cut you off, “I said no, like you pointed out, girl, they are of great importance to me and this one,” she said, placing a hand on Fenrys’ head, “He pleases me ever so well, so no, girl, I’ll keep them both, leave.” Your mouth dropped open and Maeve sighed, “Lorcan, see our guest out.” The giant of a male stepped towards you and Fenrys whined his protest, “Hush, pup, get upstairs.” Maeve commanded and you were escorted out with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’d made everything worse for him.
A knock woke you from a fitful sleep. You hadn’t even made it to your bed, you had passed out drunk on the sofa and you winced as the wine bottle rolled off of you and smashed on the floor. You’d deal with that in the morning you decided as you stumbled to the door and flung it open. A fae male with long silver hair and face tattoos stood on the other side, along with the golden haired male from earlier. “So she’s sent you to kill me then?” You asked as you turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open for them to follow. “Drink?” You asked, pouring yourself a whisky and sliding the bottle and two glasses over to the other side of the table where they now stood. “I won’t fight you for my life,” you told them, “There’s nothing left of it anyway.” You said gesturing around the house.
The silver haired one snorted as he took in your home, “Wow, you really aren’t doing well without him are you?” The golden haired one hissed as he elbowed his friend, “Rowan!” He scolded. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m Gavriel and this is Rowan, we aren’t here to kill you, we’re here to help, sort of.” You raised an eyebrow, “Help? With what?” You questioned, “You feel him don’t you?” Rowan asked, “We can teach you to block him out, so you don’t feel him if you’re too much of a coward to tell him he’s your mate.” You crossed your arms over your chest, “You’re an asshole.” You told Rowan, Gavriel nodded his agreement, “An asshole I might be, but I’m trying to help you, do you know what she would’ve done if she realised what you were to him, to both of them?” You shrugged, “It isn’t fair that they are chained to her like that, it’s not fair to any of you, loyalty should be earned, not taken.” Gavriel sighed, “Let us help you.”
So you learned from them, well, from Rowan mostly, over an exhausting couple of days. Gavriel kept himself busy fixing whatever needed fixing in the house and tidying up so you had somewhere presentable to live. “Oh and one more thing,” Rowan said as they turned to leave that evening. He turned, producing a letter out of his satchel and you instantly recognised the scrawl on the envelope. “Keep those shields up, Y/N.” He said before walking out the door. Gavriel smiled kindly at you, “For what it’s worth, I think he regrets it, leaving you, everyday.” You sighed, “I was so mean the last time I spoke to him, I was angry and I didn’t mean any of it.” You said quietly, “I think he knows that too,” Gavriel said, “but I’ll make sure to tell him.”
You smiled at him softly, “Why did you both come to help me?” You questioned, Gavriel glanced outside and then back to you, “Rowan’s pregnant mate was murdered & I walked away from my mate and child because of the fear of Maeve, we don’t want the same for Fenrys, we’re quite keen on the pups and somethings Y/N, somethings are worth fighting for.” With that, he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and left.
You slid down the front door, pulled your knees to your chest and ripped open the letter Rowan had given you. There was such anger in Connall’s words, at you, at his brother. But there was also sorrow and a plea for you to never step foot in Doranelle again.
You spent the following weeks wondering if you’d be betrayed, but no one ever came for you.
50 Years Ago:
Gasping quietly you dropped the dishes you were washing in the sink with a splash, the bubbles splattering up your apron. You threw open the door to Rowan and the tall male you hadn’t met yet. “What happened?!” You snapped as you took in Fenrys hanging between them. “Move!” The tall male hissed as they shoved past you, “Clear the table!” Rowan commanded, panic seized you as you swept the table with your arm. “What happened?!” You snapped again and Fenrys groaned as they placed him more gently than you’d expected on the table. “He’s been testing the leash, stupid boy.” Your eyes snapped to the tall male, “Sorry, who the hell are you?” He didn’t even look at you as he grunted, “Lorcan.” You looked back down at Fenrys, “She did this to him?” Rowan looked at Lorcan who shook his head but Rowan answered you anyway, “Connall did.” Anger flooded through you, “Connall?!” Fenrys let out a wet, labored cough, “No,” he croaked. “She commanded it,” Lorcan drawled, “But he didn’t seem to hesitate or fight it.”
You watched quietly as the two warriors worked on Fenrys. Your entire body was tense. Fenrys had passed out 30 minutes ago, a blessing you supposed, that he couldn’t feel what they were doing as they were putting him back together. A shadow outside the window caught your eye and you stalked out the door. “You’ve got some nerve.” You spat at the Black Wolf who was sitting at the tree line of your property. “How dare you turn up here?!” With a flash the Black Wolf was a Male prowling towards you. “He’s my brother, I need to know if he’s okay.” You scoffed, “You did this to him!” You exclaimed, stepping up to him. “I didn’t have a choice!” You rolled your eyes, “They said you didn’t even hesitate or try to fight the order!” You watched Connall’s eyes shoot over your shoulder and then back to you. You felt Rowan at your back. “Are you here for you or for her?” He asked, his voice tight. “For him.” Connall snapped. Rowan nodded and beckoned him to follow. You huffed and followed the two males into your home, the tang of blood in the air.
They’d moved him to your bed when they’d patched him up. You had sat next to the bed, back rigid. Your eyes watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Around 3am his eyes cracked open, finding you instantly in the darkness, “Am I dead? Is this heaven?” He rasped. You rolled your eyes, “No, you aren’t dead, they brought you here.” He nodded weakly. “Where are they?” He croaked, you handed him a glass of water, “Lorcan and Connall went back, Rowan’s flapping about outside.” You told him and he huffed a laugh then winced. “Stop it.” You scolded him.
You’d brought him some food and stuck your head out the door to let Rowan know he was awake before returning to Fenrys. “How are you feeling?” You asked, “Why are you doing this? Helping?” He asked at the same time. “Because it’s you and I’m an idiot.” You muttered quietly. “It was stupid of you to come to Doranelle.” He said, “I’m not sorry.” You snapped. “Your brother nearly killed you today, he didn’t think twice about it, he just obeyed.” Your voice cracked and tears welled up in your eyes. Fenrys sighed, “It’s the blood oath, he didn’t have a choice.” You gave him a scathing look, “Get some rest.” You said, voice sharp and you turned to leave. “Hey?” You turned to face him, he held his hand out towards you, “Come here?” He asked, patting the space next to him. The bond was screaming at you to do so, to join him, to not leave him injured and alone in your room so you caved and crawled in next to him. “You know I love you right?” He asked into the darkness of the room. “Yeah, I know.” You answer, heart cracking because you knew he didn’t mean it how your entire soul craved him to mean it.
Now:
“What are you doing here?!” You span at the sound of his voice. “Fighting? We got the call.” You gestured at the battlefield that surrounded you. “You can’t be here!” He snarled, “Well I am! You snarled back. “Pup! We’ve got to go, you can fight with your girlfriend later!” Rowan shouted as he landed next to you, “Hi, Y/N.” You smiled at him, “Aedion is injured, get up to the battlements and see where you can help.” Rowan told you, you nodded at him and took off, Fenrys shouting after you.
You clung onto Aedion, tears in your eyes as Gavriel stepped through the gate. You’d grown to love Gavriel, he’d visited you every time he traveled past your home over the years, always stopping in for a cup of tea, you had your suspicions that he was reporting back to Fenrys but he’d become your friend either way. “Let him go, Aedion.” He fought against you, “He’s doing this for you, the only thing he feels he can do for you.” So the two of you watched as the Lion of Doranelle stood his ground as the gate shut him out.
It was over. It was won. You’d watched from the battlements as Fenrys delivered the killing blow to the tyrant Queen. Had watched them morn Gavriel from the outside while you quietly mourned the Wolf that was no longer with you. Aelin had approached you in the garden one evening, as you sat amongst the flowers, watching the sun disappear, talking to Connall as if he could hear you. “You’re staying.” A fact, a demand from your Queen, not a question. You looked up at her and she smiled, “Rowan’s not so good with the secrets.” You laughed as he huffed behind his wife. “He’ll need you.” You gave her a kind smile, “I doubt that, but if it’s what you wish for, your majesty, I will stay.” She gave you a look that said she knew she was right and turned to leave, “Actually, with your permission, there’s something I’d like to do.” Tears welled in Aelin’s eyes as you told her what you wanted, Rowan approached and smiled and put a hand on your shoulder, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” He said, Aelin nodded her agreement.
Fenrys found you a week later. “What are you doing out here?” He asked, approaching you in the Royal Graveyard of Terrasen. You were knelt in the dirt, hands covered in it. Flowers surround you, Zinnias for remembrance and goodness, Yellow Carnations for friendship and gratitude, Violets for faithfulness and devotion, Anemones for protection and sacrifice and Daffodils for rebirth and hope. “He mentioned you had become friends over the years…” he trailed off, realising that it wasn’t Gavriel’s grave you were kneeling in front of. You looked at him over your shoulder, and then moved aside to reveal a gravestone, that simply read:
Connall Moonbeam
Brother
Friend
Beloved
Black Wolf of Doranelle
A raw, broken sound left Fenrys as he crashed to his knees at the sight of his brother's grave and you were there, next to him, holding him. “I thought it would be nice if we had somewhere we could talk to him.” You told him quietly as he sobbed into his hands. “He visits me in my dreams, the first time was the night he died. He came to me and told me what had happened. That you needed me. I set off the next day to find Aelin, to help however I could.” Fenrys fell into you, sobbing into your neck. “He kept me safe, when I slept rough, he’d tell me to wake up, to move.” You kept talking as Fenrys calmed slowly, “He had things left to say to me, we both cried as he told me he’d loved me once but he knew, had always known I’d belonged to his brother, that I had to find you, that you’d need me, that after everything, he’d get me to you safely, the last thing he could do for you.” You ran a calming hand down his back, “He had a message for you, he said he loves you, more than anything, he forgives you for everything and he’s sorry for his part, he said that it was meant for you, the dagger, but it was too far and he couldn’t allow it.” Tears were running down your face by the time you finished speaking. “If I could change it, if I could take his place so he could be here with you, I would, in a heartbeat, Fen.”
Fenrys remained quiet for a long time after you had told him everything. He clutched your hand like it was his tether to the earth. Finally he looked up at you, his onyx eyes meeting yours and you saw the exact moment he felt it too, the bond. You watched it wash over him, watched him figure out what it was he was feeling. “You…you’re…” you nodded at him, “Yes, I am.” He blinked, “How long have you known?” He croaked and you let out a humorless laugh, “A long time, Fen.” “How long?” He repeated, “Since before you swore the blood oath.” You admitted, “You’ve known for over 100 years that we’re mates and you never said anything?!” You opened your mouth to reply just as Rowan and Aelin approached, “We’ve all known Boyo, it was fairly obvious.” Aelin elbowed her husband. “You’ve done a wonderful job on Connall’s grave, Y/N.” She said, “I’m sorry I never got to know him.” She said to Fenrys, wrapping him in her arms. “He’d have loved you.” Fenrys mumbled and you and Rowan laughed your agreement.
Over the following weeks Fenrys started coming around more and more. Getting to know you again he’d said. You’d cried as Aedion swore his oath, took his birthright and Fenrys had laughed at you, wiped your tears and held your hand for the rest of the ceremony. “Dance with me?” He asked as the Coronation Ball went on and on. You smiled up at him and took his had, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor and into the first dance. Your body fit against his in the best of ways and from what you felt, he knew it too. It was on your third dance that he seemed to throw caution to the wind and his hand left your waist to cup your face as he brought his lips down to yours. It was like the world had gone silent. He pulled you impossibly closer to him as his kisses descended down your neck. “Let’s get out of here.” He spoke against your neck, “Please?” You begged him. He smirked at you as he pulled you towards the doors.
The two of you only made it a few corridors at a time before you were swept up in kisses and touches again. By the time you were halfway to his room, you realised, he was carrying you, your legs wrapped around his waist, dress up around your hips, his hands on your ass, groaning at the feel of it, of the feel of your teeth against his neck. “Fuck it.” He growled three corridors away from his room as he pinned you against the wall with his hips and pulling the top of your dress down. He groaned as he took in the sight before him and ground his hips into yours causing you to moan. He lowered his head, kisses starting at your neck, trailing down to your chest where he worshiped each breast and nipple, the sensations causing you to writhe against him.
“Can you be quiet for me?” He asked, pulling away from your chest. You nodded eagerly as he sank to his knees, anticipation tightening in your stomach as he threw your legs over his shoulders, his head disappearing under the skirts of your dress. Kisses began traveling up your legs, “No underwear?” He mumbled more to himself than to you as his mouth neared to where you wanted it the most. His tongue licked a broad stripe and you jerked at the sensation, letting out a loud moan. “What did I say about being quiet?” He teased as he head appeared from under your skirts before going right back to where it was before. Your fingers scrambled for something to grab onto and settled for the of your dress that was covering his head as he sucked on your clit, waves of pleasure zinging up and down your spine.
“Please, please, please” you were begging as that familiar coil started to tighten in your stomach. “Please what?” He asked against your clit, the words vibrating beautifully. “Tell me what you want love?” He asked, nipping at your thigh. “Make me cum, Fen, please I’m so close.” You whimpered as he started his minstrations again. Two calloused fingers pushed into you and you threw your head back into the wall, his lips still sucking at you. “Plea-“ your begging was cut off as his fingers curled and hit that perfect spot and the coil in your stomach snapped and you and the world fell apart as your orgasam ripped through you. He kept going, drawing it out as long as he could.
His smirk was feline when he emerged from your dress and set your shaking legs back on the ground. You threw yourself at him so hard he stumbled back into the opposite wall as he caught you. You began attacking his neck with kisses, teeth scraping along his throat as you pulled his shirt out of his trousers and tried to undo the buttons. “Take me to bed. Now.” You breathed against his ear and he froze. Completely froze. His arms dropped away from you and his whole body was ridgid. You pulled away from him, realising quickly what had happened and your heart threatened to disintegrate at that haunted look in his eyes.
“Fenrys?” It was like he couldn’t hear you. Whatever memory of Maeve he was reliving had trapped him and you weren’t sure how to get to him. You had just began to panic when Chaol and Yerene walked down the hallway, “Get Aelin, now!” You snapped at Chaol as Yerene stepped towards him. “Don’t!” She stopped dead and looked at you. “I don’t know what he’s reliving and how he’ll be when he comes out of it, you’re with child.” You said more gently and she nodded in understanding, “Go with Chaol, bring Rowan too!” She nodded as she ran to catch up with her husband. “Fen, please, come back to me.”
Footsteps rushed down the hallway and then Aelin was there, Rowan next to her. Lorcan behind him. Chaol and Yerene behind him. You knew you didn’t fit this picture, this group. So you watched, back against the wall Fenrys had just had you against as the Queen of Terrasen pulled your mate back after you had failed to do so. His eyes cleared and darted around the hallway, he smiled down at Aelin and Rowan clapped him on the shoulder. Lorcan, Chaol and Yerene departed back to the ball as the Queen and King spoke with their Emissary, their friend & you turned and fled. You had done that to him, you were no better than Maeve.
“I don’t know how to do this.” You sobbed, “I don’t know how to be what he needs.” The gravestone didn’t answer. “I wish you were here, Con.” You told him, “It’s not right without you and I keep messing everything up.” You let out some more sobs as Fenrys’ haunted face flashed through your memories again. Twigs breaking behind Connall’s grave had your head shooting up & there he was, your White Wolf. “I’m sorry, Fen, so unbelievably sorry.” You told him as he prowled over to you.
He approached, studying you and your tears, then licked a great stripe right up the side of your face, which caused you to snort in disgust and then laugh. Fenrys huffed out a sound that you assumed was as close to a laugh as he could do as a wolf and then he curled himself around your back, and a contented rumble left his chest as you leant back on him. “I’m sorry I put you back there, I’ll be more careful with my words next time.” You said quietly. He huffed again, nuzzling his face into your side, a feeling of warmth, thanks and understanding filled your chest and you knew it was him. “Can we stay out here with Connall tonight?” You asked, he nodded and put his head down on a massive paw, leaving the other for you as you curled up into his fur. “I love you, Fen.” You mumbled sleepily, “I have for most of my life.” You felt the moment he shifted, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his chest, “I love you too.” He said, kissing the top of your head.
Connall Moonbeam smiled down at the sight of his twin brother and his best friend, curled up together by a grave that he was not in. It didn’t matter, they had honored him with it anyway. They continued to honor and remember him for the rest of their lives, especially on the day their son was born and they gave him the name Connall Gavriel Moonbeam. Gavriel clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked away from him, into the arms of the mate he’d been missing for so long. Connall smiled down at his brother and his family one last time and followed Gavriel and his mate into the light, there would be no more dream visits, he had nothing more to offer his friend, besides, he’d see them both again some day.
183 notes · View notes
cherriesformatt · 6 months
Note
Hi could I request Matt x reader
They are in their senior year of Highschool and it’s prom season.The reader is sad because she never had any romance in her life and dreams of a promposal.Matt really likes the reader and even though he doesn’t like bring attention to him he surprises the reader.
promposal || matt sturniolo
matt x fem!reader
warnings: none, fluff!
word count: 1,1k
a/n: I hope you like it and I did not ruin the idea!
Tumblr media
🍒
I came home and tossed my bag and car keys on the cubby.
"Hi! I'm home!" I yelled to check if anyone was back from work or in case of my brother from school.
Only echo answered me and I sight of relief because the last thing I wanted was to small talk with everyone how my day was.
I went to my room, stripped from my clothes and wrapped my body in white, fluffy robe. I took change of clothes, my phone and dragged my feet to my parents master bathroom. They had huge bath tube and my mom had all those fancy stuff from TikTok to make a relaxing bath.
I made myself one with lots of bubbles and got in. I didn’t put any bath bomb or candles because it would give me a headache. The only thing I did was putting music on from my phone on the speaker in the bathroom.
I hated today. And all of this week to be honest.
It was this time of the year again. Senior year to be specific. Thats why I hated it even more because it's the last time ever for that.
For prom.
Everyone including my best friends were proposed to go to prom by their boyfriends. In every cute way possible. I was only there to fake smile and be happy for them but also a little jealous. Because here is the thing.
I was always so focused on school and soccer that I never, ever let any boy near me. It is a miracle that my best friends are still my friends. I was single through all high school, never went on any date and when I rejected some boys no-one asked me again. Which brings us here, I also was never asked to go for a prom. This time it was a little sad because it is going to be my last prom.
"I hate myself" I said and made my body to go under hot water while Frank Ocean was playing in the room.
I stayed like that for a second but I heard my music stopped for a massage notification so I sat back up and took my phone from the ground next to the bath tube splashing some water on the floor.
I checked the massage and I was a little surprised. It was from Matt Sturniolo. I knew him because his brother Chris was dating my best friend Maggie. He sometimes drives us to parties or games. He and his triplet brothers played hockey and lacrosse in our school. They were pretty good. Nick also did our yearbook this year. Matt and I never really had any class together and beside knowing him as Chris's brother I didn't really spend time with him. He didn’t usually stay at parties after games and even if he did he spent time with his team mates I did with mine.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
I smiled a little. Was he kind of asking me out? What should I do?
Wasn't I just complaining that nobody asked me out?
And I said yes.
What am I even going to wear? It’s march and it’s going to be cold on the beach.
I spend and hour in the bath and than I ate early dinner and started to get ready.
I did blow out on my hair and put a light make up on. I didn’t want to look like I care too much. I put some jeans on and a hoodie with white Air Force 1. They had blue flowers custom painted for me on them by one of my friends.
When I got a text massage from Matt that he is waiting outside a little before 7 I told my parents I’m leaving and took my purse and locked the door behind me.
He was leaning on his car and smiled when he saw me. He looked nice. We kinda matched the outfits. He also was wearing a hoodie and jeans and white air forces.
“Hi… it’s nice to see you not on the field next to mine” he said.
That’s true. We usually just had practice or a game next to each other.
“Same to you… you stole my outfit tho” I laughed as he opened car doors for me.
“I can live with matching your outfit” He smiled looking at me and he closed the doors and went to the driver seat.
We drove to the beach talking about everything and nothing. Mostly about sports and music and the midterms.
“We’re here let’s go?” He smiled when we parked.
I got out of the car and he came to me.
“Okay I know it will sound weird but can you close your eyes? And not peek?” Ha asked me.
He was nervous?
“Okay…. But if you want to kill me my dad is going to find you and probably kill your brother for accident” I said closing my eyes and sticking my hand out for him.
He giggled at what I said and toon my hand to lead me.
Sun was setting already so it is going to be dark soon. I’m not sure what we are doing here.
I heard some sounds as we were walking on the sand but mostly it was sound of the ocean.
“Okay I’m going to let go of your hand… don’t open your eyes just yet” he said.
He dropped my hand and I stand waiting for him to tell me to open my eyes. I heard some voices too.
What the hell is happening.
“Okay… you can open your eyes now” Matt said from somewhere in front of me.
I opened my eyes and they automatically widened.
There was some lanterns going up into the sky. Like I my favorite movie.
Tangled.
I looked at them and then down to see where they are coming from. Whole lacrosse and hockey team were putting them up.
There he was standing in the middle with a poster that said:
Light up my night at prom?
And there was a painting of the tower from the movie. It was beautiful. I bet Maggie did it.
Nobody ever did anything like that for me.
“Matt what the hell?” I said coming up to him I’m pretty sure I had tears in my eyes now.
“Sooo?” He looked at me unsure of my reaction.
“Of course..” I said looking at him and wiped my cheeks with my hoodies sleeve.
Whole teams started cheering and I laughed.
“How did you even know? That I like the movie…” I asked.
“Well I talked to Chris and Chris talked to Maggie and you know…” he scratched back of his neck.
“Gosh I feel like I could kiss you right now…” I whispered.
He smiled and put one of his hands on my cheek and the other one wondered on my back to pull me closer to him. He looked deep in my eyes looking for reassurance but I just connected our lips together.
It couldn’t get any better. The best promposal I could ask for.
132 notes · View notes