#so all in all tasty differences to what the basics of these stories usually are

[ctl-yuejie]

some tangent about the film “lean on me” made me remember gokusen (both the manga and the series/movies) and now i am thinking about where to place gokusen politically

prelimenary search yielded only two somewhat academic results in english and one in japanese and none are really getting to the point of my questions

[get-more-bald]

the thing about X6 is that he's essentially a slave given to the Sole Survivor by the Institute. and I think that the fandom's treatment of him would be different if the game addressed it or even just said it

[madwomansapologist]

going on vacation with queen maeve would include

Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Royalty AU | AO3

synopsis: A few months after getting into The Seven, your mind and body were on the edge. Good for your that your girlfriend™ knows exactly how to make Madelyn shut the fuck up.

warnings: vought. female!reader. this is fluffy!

• It's funny how you thought for so long that Maeve didn't give a damn about you. Because now, seeing clearly what she is doing, you notice how much she really cares. How deeply Maggie cares about you.

• Your relationship now being real don't make everything easy. It makes easier, of course, but it still pretty fucked up to be used as Vought way of making pink money. But as time passes, you noticed all the little things Maeve did so it would be easier for you. The fact that she does that in secret is what really makes your heart skip a beat.

• Like when you discovered that Maeve fought with Madelyn so your birthday would be a private event. Or when your copyright percentage got higher because of her. And there was that day Maeve discussed for over a hour with the marketing guys so you could cut your hair however you wanted. And the time a "journalist" threatened to expose a story about your normal life so she... You still don't know what exactly she did, but the story never saw daylight.

• So when out of sudden, in the middle of the most tiring week of your entire life, Ashley informed you that your vacations was postponed to next week by the HR people; you knew it was her. Of course it was.

• You both talked to her about your plans, and Ashley took care of everything. She usually does. She made sure there was no one on the beach, no paparazzi, not even a leaf out of place. If there was one thing you valued, it was your secret identity, and since Maeve also took the same care, every precaution was necessary.

• After a car trip, Maeve doesn't get on planes under any circumstances, complete with lots of diabetic sweets and loud music, you finally arrived at the cabin. Everything inside was some kind of licensed Vought product, but ignoring that until you looked like just a normal couple. Nothing surprising. No drama, no pr stunts, no forced smiles. It was just you and Maggie, and that was all.

• Maggie spent the whole week running the bar. You've already discussed her being basically a functional alcoholic, but she's always emphasized the functional. She took care of the drinks, you took care of the barbecues, and the two of you tried to understand how to make Starlight Seasoned Rice™.

• Maggie was more the type to pick up a gothic novel, apply sunscreen until she looked like a ghost, and toast on a beach sarong. You were the one challenging the sea to a fight. And cursing the hot sand.

• Caught up in Jane Eyre's poor choice to marry someone she discovered had locked his first wife in the basement, Maggie didn't think she needed to worry. Until the salt water fell on her and her book, and Maggie saw you with your smirk and a yellow toy bucket. You wanted war? Okay.

• Playing fights with your girlfriend is one of the most common things in relationships. Playing fights with your super powerful warrior goddess hot girlfriend is much more interesting. Will Maggie one day realize how much you love being beneath her? She probably already did.

• With hydrating hair masks, tasty meat, strong drinks and practically inedible rice™, you fell asleep on the sofa in the cabin while you tried to prove to Maggie that Emile Brontë was the best sister.

• You both deserved that.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[whumpsday]

Weird vampire physiology and society questions, interspersed with assorted random musings!

How does their dentition differ from a human’s? Are the canines just longer and sharper, or are they thicker/larger too? Are the bottom ones similarly shaped to the top ones? Do they bite (for feeding, or for combat) with just the top ones, or all four?

Do their eye colours vary, and if so, by how much? Do some vampires have more pinkish or even purple eyes? What about orange or yellow? Are their pupils round like a human’s and get larger to adjust to light (more similar to a human), or slit more like a cat’s and get rounder to adjust to light (more adapted to the dark)? Or something else? Do their pupils reflect light like a cat’s (another dark vision adaptation)?

How would the perfect healing thing change for a vampire born with a physical genetic disability? For instance, a vampire born without a limb, or blind, or with a muscular disorder. My guess is that the vampire returns to whatever “base state” is indicated by their genetics. How does that affect the vampire’s standing in society? Since vampires heal from all injury, I’m betting there’s even more ableism than there is amongst humans. Additionally, how rare is kane’s lack of persuasion? I’m sure he’s not the only one, but based on comments in the story, it seemed like having no persuasion at all was exceedingly rare.

On a similar note, do vampires have allergies, since that’s a case of one’s immune system overreacting to something? Do vampires with allergies just get extra hungry when the wrong flowers bloom because their bodies keep needing to “heal” from random environmental factors?

What are the blood types of the human characters in k&j? Are there blood types that are generally considered “tastier” in vampire society? (Of course there would be variation, after all, not every human thinks truffle mushrooms taste all that great, but we all agree that they’re more expensive and fancier.) Kane regularly mentions jim as being especially tasty, would most vampires agree with him?

Since vampires have more sensitive noses, do they (generally) like things like incense, perfume, scented candles, etc, or do they absolutely hate it? I would assume they’d want weaker scents than humans usually do, but it would also be much easier for one to notice a funky smell in a room and want to cover it up. (Also, given how many human candle scents are based on food, especially fruit and pastries, would vampires use blood as a scent?)

Feel free to answer or ignore as many of these as you want, i love your writing and find the setting fascinating and want to know more about it

dentition - longer and sharper, prob a bit thicker but not too much. bottom teeth are basically normal for a human, maybe a bit sharper canines but no added length. they bite with the top teeth for feeding.

eye colors vary very little. they have bright red eyes, and while exact shade can have slight differences, there won't be much. eyes are round like a human's and reflect light like a cat's, as they possess a tapetum lucidum. (tapetum lucidum is my fave part of the eye, i dissected a cow eyeball in biopsych class and cows have em too, they look super weird up close and out of the eye! i would... like to dissect a vampire eyeball...)

idk the blood types of my human characters... i actually may have mentioned it before but forgot... blood type won't really be too much of a determining factor at large, though certain humans or blood types might be tastier to individual vampires, but tastes vary greatly so there's no consensus. most of kane's family (ex. anton) would agree abt jim being especially tasty, but not all vampires.

liking fragrances or not would vary from vampire to vampire. weaker scents are indeed common. kane enjoys scented candles. blood is not too common a fragrance (though it does exist), and human food smells gross to vampires so it's never used. things like florals and pine and lavender and other natural non-food scents are used, as well as some things vampires can smell that humans wouldn't even be able to.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unlcuk ch.186 thoughts

[Just Like Mama Used to Make]

(Contents: thematic analysis - artistic expression)

Before I say anything else, I just want to note how hard that one bystander saying "what the fuck?" made me laugh. That killed me. With how much wild shit the Union gets up to, it's refreshing to see someone not only witness it, but actually acknowledge it. I still wonder how the audience for Feng's martial arts tournament reacted to all of the weird fights

I also want to point out that in this loop, Enjin's iconic ripped hat look is created from him being thrown through the wall of his mother's hospital room. I'm sure there was some cool story to it originally, but nope, this time he just...biffed a landing, s'all. As usual, no dignity in this series

Onto the chapter, I figured that this chapter was going to continue to expand on the idea of togetherness using food as a symbol like last week, but nope! We're movin' on! Instead of examining how the act of eating can deepen bonds, this week we're examining the difference between mass appeal and individual experience

Enjin's ramen, made with refined technique, is "objectively" good food that pretty much anyone will say is tasty, but aside from the opportunity for custom orders like "extra toppings" or "light on the X," the overall dish is always the same. Without any direct input, Enjin will always produce the same meal, with the expectation that it's so high quality that no one could possibly dislike it. This approach is not necessarily wrong, as consistency is an important factor in food service, but it does mean that if there's any one factor that any one customer doesn't like, they won't end up enjoying it because it doesn't match with their personal taste

It's kind of like if a manga starts out with one of the main leads sexually harassing the other. Sure, the manga as a whole may be great, possibly even the best among its contemporaries, but some people just aren't going to be able to get past that initial bad taste in their mouth. No matter how good the end product is, someone is going to slip through the cracks

Someone isn't going to be able to stand how hot the broth is, someone isn't going to like the mushrooms or the bamboo shoots, and someone isn't going to appreciate seeing a girl get groped by a man whose dick is flopping in the wind. This is an unavoidable truth in the creative process: there is no such thing as perfect. There will always be flaws, and there will always be detractors, but there will also always be fans willing to stand by the art and declare that it's their absolute favorite

This is where Fuuko's ramen comes in: even if only two people out of...what, fifty people(?) liked it, what matters is that the person it was meant for liked it. The point was to show Enjin that no amount of refinement would be able to capture everyone's hearts, but any amount of consideration would capture the heart of the one person it's meant to. Luckily there was another person present who fit in that same niche to drive the point home, but even without that child, I think Enjin would have gotten the point

When it comes to art, you sometimes need to ignore the instinct to try to appeal to anyone and instead focus on creating the thing that you want, the thing that will make you happy. You will run the risk of alienating basically everyone, but by being honest and forthright in how you express yourself, you'll eventually find someone who your work truly resonates with

Fuuko's touch-starved isolation, Andy's hedonistic depression, Billy's stoic responsibility, Rip's dual loves...these aren't things that everyone can relate to, even if they can sympathize. But to someone who feels isolated, who tries to fight against crushing despair with a plastered smile, who bears the weight of the world on their shoulders, or knows what it's like to love more than others say they should, these things will all ring true, and make that reader feel like someone, somewhere finally understands, like someone said all the things they wish they could if they only had the talent or the time

To me, this chapter isn't about cooking, it's about the act of creation. It's about the act of sharing your soul with the world around you and knowing that you resonated with even just one person, and knowing that that one person's world has changed for the better. It's about the act of receiving a piece of someone and being able to smile back at them, telling them that the message has been received

Maybe this won't be what anyone else sees. Maybe this chapter will come across as lukewarm to somebody, maybe even to most people. Maybe it was mediocre at best to someone and they'd prefer something with a bit more of a kick. But someone, maybe just one person, was able to really sink their teeth into this one and savor all of the ingredients, the love and the care that went into creating this piece. Someone was moved to tears, and someone looks at the world just a little differently now thanks to this chapter

Until next time, let's enjoy life

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ruggie Bucchi Bloom Birthday Personal Story: Part 3

"Happy Birthday"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Rook: Ah, how time flies when you're having fun. This is the last question.

Rook: “How do you spend your days off?”

Ruggie: My day off, hm… I mean, I don't really have many restful days, so, I dunno.

Rook: Oh, is that so?

Ruggie: Most days I got Magical Shift practice or matches, so…

Ruggie: ANY TIME I DON'T GOT THAT, I WANNA CRAM AS MANY SMALL JOBS IN MY DAY AS I CAN!!!

Ruggie: I'm pretty busy with my classes, so I can't do any long-term jobs, so for now, I'm basically doing one-off jobs down at the town at the foothills.

Rook: Wow, you do stay busy. But, I'm sure there are times that you are unable to find a job that suits your tastes, no?

Ruggie: Whenever that happens, I usually do odd-jobs for my dormmates, classmates, or clubmates.

Ruggie: They don't really pay good, but… Sometimes they'll treat me to a meal, or give me random stuff I find when I'm cleaning up.

Ruggie: And when I sell those things, I can make a good chunk of change. One man's trash is another man's treasure!

Rook: Très bien! Not only do you have an abundance of work experience, but you also care for the environment. I'm impressed!

Ruggie: Uhhh, I don't think it's anything that great, but… Uh, whatever.

Ruggie: Ah. But the other day, I didn't do any kind of part-time or odd-job, instead I went down to the town with few of my clubmates

Ruggie: After morning practice, we flew down on brooms. Basically, it was supposed to be my pre-birthday celebration.

Rook: To see such friendship forged through the trials of your club activities… Beauté! Such a beautiful relationship.

Ruggie: I mean, it's not like were always hangin' out with each other like best friends or anythin'. But, sure…

Ruggie: I guess I was happy enough that they were doing this as a return gift, or in return for doing their club chores.

Rook: You do look happy. What did they give you?

Ruggie: First, we did lunch. I had them treat me to the most expensive meal on the menu at the hamburger shop.

Ruggie: After that, we just kinda wandered the streets, lookin' at all the special sales they had going on…

Ruggie: And just as we started getting' kinda thirsty, we stopped at this pretty popular café.

Ruggie: It's not a place I tend to even think about going into, 'cause a drink costs close to 1000 madol, but…

Ruggie: If someone's treatin' me, then that a whole different story! Maaan, that sweet café au lait with all that whipped cream on top was sooooo good.

Ruggie: They blended the coffee, milk, syrup, and the ice into one smooth drink…

Ruggie: It was totally perfect for a slightly humid day! I also like that I can drink the whole thing without leaving anythin' behind.

Ruggie: Normal drinks'll leave ice in the end, so it kinda loses its good taste, tho.

Ruggie: But there's no way I'd be drinkin' that special drink if I had to pay for it. I wanna drink it again sometime, on someone else's dime, of course.

Rook: Fufu, it seems that you received a wondrous present.

Ruggie: I got tons, like candy-coated fruit, or bread that was stuffed with pasta and the like…

Ruggie: And a bunch of other stuff, all for free. I even got some snacks to take home, so it was awesome!

Ruggie: I had an amazing day and I didn't even need to spend 1 madol. And today, I'll be able to eat my heart out at the feast later…

Ruggie: Birthdays are the absolute best! Coming here to Night Raven College really confirmed that!

Rook: Reluctantly, I must say… We've made it to the finale. Ruggie-kun, please accept this broom.

Ruggie: Thank you! I don't really know much about flowers if I can't eat 'em, but these look kinda tasty. They got a nice color reminds me of baked pastries.

Ruggie: But man, this looks real fancy. I wonder how much it'd fetch if I sold it… Haha, I'm just kidding!

Rook: I'm relieved to hear you are only joking. This bouquet has a warm and gentle ambiance. Please take good care of this as a memento of today.

Rook: Now, Monsieur Dandelion. TAKE TO THE SKIES ALONGSIDE THIS BROOM OF YOURS!

Ruggie: Yeah, yeah, gotcha. 'Kay, guess I gotta show 'em what I got.

Ruggie: Only a little bit more 'til I get to go to the party I've been waiting for. Gotta fly hard so I'll be ready to eat at the feast!

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[space-blue]

Quaritch and recom Quaritch are not the same characters. I mean second is a clone with implanted memories so why always I read about this character all people write like both are the same? Recom Quaritch feels and acts because of memories from human Quaritch. For me it's weird because I hated a lot original Quaritch but when I watched Avatar 2 I was like nooo way I like his clone?. haha Just to add other point of view. Greetings, thank you!

Dear anon,

I'd like to preface this reply by saying I don't know how the fandom depicts him, really. I discuss him with friends in the recom-centric server, and I read their snippets and some of their fics, but I'm one of those writers who avoids reading the characters they write.

My brain is aggressively pantser oriented. If I read a story, if I even imagine it in full, then "it is told" and I lose interest in writing it. "Two cakes" only exists as a reader for me. I can't write the second take on a concept I've read. It feels like a chore. I also dislike reading a really smart idea about the character because I might feel like I can't implement it.

I like to give myself time to come up with my own strong vision of a character before I start reading them written by others. If I pick up a fic with them it'll usually be with a concept/style I'd never go for (that includes smut).

So yeah, I don't know how "the fandom" portrays him. I'll give you my two cents though, for free :

Quaritch and Recom Quaritch ARE the same person. By design. They share the same memories. I am totally writing a fic in which the memories are edited, but that's not hinted at in canon.

A clone with memories is meant to be the same, on day 1. He is designed to be the same. He's made in universe by the RDA to be the same, and by the Avatar team to be the same.

What makes recom Q interesting is that he starts diverging from that day 1 onward. Every experience he has is filtered through the qualia of a fundamentally alien body. Taste, smell, vision, hearing, touch, experience of pain, not to mention the sensory blast of having new limbs and organs!

And then new experiences a smart recom can't miss : potential discrimination, bottom of the company totem pole (a loss of privilege a white man with titles like Quaritch must feel keenly), the way they're turned into disposable guinea pigs from the 1st mission, the impossibility of going back home, the fact they're basically slaves, company owned bodies and endlessly duplicable minds...

They get time to think on all that. Does it affect them? Do they double down on their mission out of spite? Hope for a better future? A shot at freedom? Are they brain-dead killers looking to shoot things no matter what body they're in? (Looking at you Lyle..)

That's where the tasty lives. In that dichotomy between a human mind that makes them the same, and an alien body that makes them different. That's why recoms, Q and others, are so compelling. There's a ton of room for emotional angst, and a lot of directions to take character growth in as we patiently await.

I feel like different writers will make him go places at different paces, and that's fine. He hasn't changed that much over the course of the film. We don't know Avatar 1's Quaritch that well, so how much atwow changes Recom Q is really up to interpretation.

But I feel like this is just arguing on philosophy.

You, as an individual, are in constant flux, but you are also informed by your past. Do you believe in determinism? In fate? In Free Will? Because there's a whole branch of philosophy/neurology that makes a VERY compelling argument that we don't have free will. It doesn't help that science has proven that our brain often sends signals before we've made a conscious decision to act.

It's still a very hot topic, as we don't know where consciousness resides/how it works (the philosophy of mind teacher in Adelaide uni opened his class by saying if we were smart about it there was a nobel prize to be won lol)

What's compelling about Recoms is that even if you believe in the absence of free will you have to admit that the change in qualia by definition alters their character and takes them down new roads. But it's fine to me if writers think the mind inside the recom is still human and struggles to remain true to itself for a long time.

A Quaritch desperate for change is as tasty as a Quaritch who struggles to hang on to his past as a raison d'être.

He's a babygirl because he's cursed. He carries the "sins of the father" in the most literal manner possible. Not only in universe but IN FANDOM. People actively blame Recom Quaritch for what Human Quaritch did in A1, not realising they are not the same person, even if Recom Quaritch still feels like they are and can replay the whole scene in his mind.

It's FUCKED and I'm soooo here for it!

It's also why it's so different with recom Q. He's not the same visually, and he's got so many new layers added by his situation that you're face first in a blue cake.

[xaeyrnofnbe]

urghfhf. finished wings of fire like a week (? i have not kept track of the time) ago and. have a lot of very random thoughts that are not extensive enough to be their own posts and baby i love making disorganized lists so here you go, basically every thought i’ve had about the series ever

did not care for how almost every single protagonist had SOME romantic thing happening, directed at someone else, directed at them, mutual feelings whatever. all the romance wasn’t as bad as it COULD have been, though. each thing did at least feel fresh, it wasn’t just the same recycled idea tossed onto another couple, there was usually substance and i appreciated that.

winter was my favorite character of the whole series. in general i just really enjoyed the icewings. also i was surprised by how decently the love triangle between winter, qibli, and moon was handled, making winter and qibli best friends instead of rivals. it was refreshing, though at times it felt like they had more chemistry with each other than with moon. personally, i guess you could say i headcanon them as getting together (all 3 of them) sometime shortly after their whole arc thing. they’re all the best characters also.

literally my main complaint about the series is that i don’t really like what the story centers on. the worldbuilding is tasty and interesting and i’d LOVE to hear more about the different tribes cultures, especially now that they’re intermingling more and more! i want to read about the sandwing festivals, more about the skywings and mudwings in general, and!! how in the hell are the rainwings and nightwings faring now that they’re sharing a territory?

how do things develop in the years following the volcano eruption? i want to know more!

generally just. politics! intrigue! interaction between groups! i genuinely don’t really care about the new big scary bad guy of the week, i want more discussions, discoveries of other dragon’s cultures, i want to read about how the different tribes begin to share information and resources!

like what kinds of skills can they teach each other? in what ways do they work together, where does conflict arise?

AND THE HUMANS!! god,,, there’s so much potential with interactions between dragons and humans. obviously there will be intelligent-human-deniers, how are they dealt with?

does sanctuary grow to be the hub of dragon-human communication? trading? how does the relationship between the 2 species develop , with this tiny settlement as the starting-off point?

maybe the humans teach the dragons how to build the ships of old, allowing easier travel between the continents! imagine the possibilities!!

i just. aaaaaa. there’s so much i liked about this series but so much i WANT from it! so badly! there’s so much cool potential but i worry it can’t really be reached what with how the series is and has been handled in general.

://////////// overall really fun though. the worldbuilding especially has been so tasty for my dumb little adhd and animal-obsessed brain. given me plenty of inspiration too. good stuff

[beatthegame]

I just beat Rage 2. Played on a Playstation 5 but it's most likely available on Xbox too.

In a nutshell: It's Fallout Lite. A first person shooter with very mild RPG elements. Let's not expect a Shakespearean level story. The plot is pretty simple. You are Walker (male or female) the last Ranger on this post-apocalyptic world. You wake up in the middle of an invasion from "The Authority". A gaggle of robot/mutant hybrids motivated on murdering every human on sight. Not sure what kind of authority they plan to enforce if everyone is dead? But I digress...the Authority is led by General Cross. This dude with a gnarly robot body with a generic, angry, bald white man head on top. Like if they screwed on Jeff Bezo's head on Megatron's body? Basically you have to travel across an open world and do mini-quests for 3 different resistance generals and defeat the Authority once and for all. I appreciate how simple that premise is. But does it stand out against all the post apocalypse cliches and derivative FPS elements? Long enough for me to beat the game at least.

The Good:

I like Rage 2 because of it's simplicity. It's an open world first person shooter. So you roam the world and shoot shit. That's it! Almost like a 3-D version of Contra with more NPCs. With a wide selection of vehicles to roam the wasteland. It's literally a giant sandbox to play around and blow shit up.

There's a modest variety of weapons and bionic superpowers in your arsenal. And there are plenty of missions sprawled around to keep your trigger fingers busy. You can even download extra missions through DLC. The game is called Rage, but playing through beginning through end didn't make me mad at all. Rage 2 was actually kind of fun! Which is a good quality to have in any type of game.

The Bad: This game would be great, if there weren't 500 other games exactly like it. Even if you don't compare it to every other first person shooter, the Rage 2 open world is rather shallow. What good is exploring a vast ocean if the water is 2 feet deep everywhere? I don't mean that literally. Like, there are only 3 types of enemies: street punks, immortals and authority mutants. With like 3 types of missions to host them all: shoot a handful of enemies here. Shoot a handful of enemies until the timer runs out there. Shoot a boss in between amd collect nonsensical items to level up your weapons and abilities. Speaking of which, most of the weapons and abilities were pretty useless. What's the point of harnessing  and perfecting telekinetic floating powers or power slide across the floor when I can simply shoot the shit out of a bunch of badguys with less effort? I usually like to grind through and get all the weapons and special items in a game before beating it. But none of those weapons or items really mattered in the long run or made a difference in the end result. After a while, I just wanted to get the game over with. I like how you can defeat the final boss and keep playing around in the open world. But I didn't see the point. Rage 2 has a nice open world worth visiting but it's not deep enough to warrant an extended stay like other open worlds have to offer.

Overall: Rage 2 was OK. It felt like a dumbed-down version of Fallout. The environment is similar. The gameplay is a lot faster and more intense. But not enough depth for a truly immersive experience. Rage 2 is like a brand new bag of Utz potato chips: looks delicious but it's mostly a bag of hot air with a handful of tasty bits. And not much else. It's not the worst thing to eat but you certainly have a wealth of better options out there.

C-Class

[kmp78]

I got so inspired by K’s amazing fanfics that I also decided to write one!😂 If you K and guys wanna read it, welcome🙈. (It’s just my fantasy and I hope it won’t offend anyone😅.)

—

Valery was sitting in a cozy Italian cafe enjoying her oat latte with a delish tiramisu.

“Mmmm so tasty, so creamy and so sweeeet😍 But anyways, sometimes I can afford a bit of a guilty pleasure, can’t I? No way my metabolism will let it go wrong.”

Aaand another bite, mmm…🤤

Valery licked the the last traces of cream off her fingers and looked at her fresh nude manicure with a smile. Tonight is gonna be special💅.

***

It was already 5pm and Valery was running around her suite trying to figure out what dress to put on for the event. It had to be something elegant, not too plunge but still..sexy💥. Yes, because she always should look sexy, just in case😏. She finally picked a stylish silver midi which would be perfectly outshining others in the dark. Dims suddenly opened the door to their room and sighed with admiration.

“Mon chéri, you look gorgeous!😍”

He hugged her from behind and kissed on her cheek. Valery held his arms and melted in that cozy nirvana☺️.

She was already sitting in the A-class taxi holding hands with Dims and driving to the UNICEF event. Everything felt like a dream but for some reason Valery was a little nervous. Maybe it was just a basic overexcitement.

***

The model turned out to be not the only one who took forever to find a dress. Jared was standing in front his bed covered with different outfits prepared by the collab of Lallo and his PA. Trying all those fur blazers and sparkling robes and heels 👠 was super annoying but he had to as he wanted to look UNFORGETTABLE. As per usual 💁🏼‍♀️. To all his disappointment he hated all those rags and decided to get things done by himself ☑️ ✊🏻.

“That old fool prepared awful looks again🙄. He’s a sweetheart but WHYY everything is so closed?? HE UNDERESTIMATES MY TORSO OR WHAT??? FUCK it. I’ll put on some black pants and a see-through shirt😏.”

He looked at the mirror and touched his fit chest in the blouse. Mmmm, so much better👍🏻🤩

***

Jared and his retinue of similarly dressed Embo and a cutie pie Jn entered the UNICEF hall. He was almost ready to start greeting all his fake fellow celebs and yapping about some useless stuff but the PA suddenly dampened his spirits.

“Val is here”, she whispered. “With her *cough* bf🫢😦.”

Ofc she found it out cuz our girl Valery already made Dims to take some smiley pics together for her stories in advance 📸✊🏻✊🏻.

While Jared was a bit nocked out and eyeballing through the hall, Val went to take more prof pics to make the world know that SHE also was there👸🏻. For a sec she thought of posing with Dims but then dropped that idea as he’d look too nerdy again👋🏻. She shined in front of the cams, chatted a bit with her fellow models and was gonna go back to her table as she saw HIM.

She was prepared to see him but yet the effect was the same as a few months ago at Coachella. A fucking cold shower😵‍💫.

“WTF is he doing here AGAIN with that Barbie Ken guy but most interestingly at one table with KELSEY…??”

The model knew the VS star Kelsey from some of her working sets and that girl was always very open and sweet.

Val also couldn’t ignore Jared’s so painfully familiar slender shape and those wide shoulders she used to love hugging. And those soft locks she loved putting her fingers in…🧔🏻‍♀️🫠😐.

“I HATE HIM!!!”

Dims caught Val’s anxious look and grabbed her hand.

“Are you ok babe?”

“Yesss😁”, Val widely smiled as she turned to him. “I just cannot wait to see JLo!! I’m so excited😃.”

Jared said at the table he was going to leave for a bit. Embo immediately offered to accompany him but his bestie coldly shut him down.

“Sure Emmy, but next time.”

He was…looking around trying to locate HER.

Val rapidly stood up from her chair, whispering that she urgently needed to let all that champagne out and left the table. She didn’t want to go anywhere but some involuntary inner force seized her actions. Val and Jay were both intentionally looking from left to right as they were getting closer and as they reached some foyer next to the emergency exit, they finally bumped into each other.

“Oh!”, Jared played a surprised one using all his Oscar-winning skills. “H..hii😳.”

“Hhhiii…”, mumbled back Valery.

She didn’t really know what to say but with annoyance caught herself staring at his chest and veiny arms through his blouse.

Jared remembered that he’s always been the boss here, cleared his throat and started with a calm demeanor.

“Well, nice to see you. How do you like it here? The music is incredible and everything looks so perfect…you look perfect👍🏻.”

He put on his usual charming face again, bit his lip and glanced at her with a flirty smirk. Even in the darkness Val could clearly see his shining, the most blue eyes in the world.

“Yes, it’s a great event and I’m actually thrilled to donate…”

“Shhh”, Jared interrupted her as he touched her lips with his finger. “Your boyfie can hear us. I gotta go.”

He gently glided over her arm with his hand which made her stomach produce a thousand butterflies and quickly walked away.

Val left all warmed-up and dizzy🤯🫠 She stared at him slowly fading in the crowd and then at her arm he just touched…

“BUSTARD. Not even a little kiss…I gotta fucking get out of here.”

“DIIIMS! We are leaving, I really need something at home!”

“What do you need babe? Maybe I can ask someone to bring it here?”

“NOO babe, I told you WE ARE GOING HOME.”

***

As they entered their hotel suit, Valery glanced at Dims with a cheeky smile😈.

“Take everything off, pleaseee😍🙏🏻.”

Dims made a few steps back in shock but still didn’t mind his girlie’s intentions at all😀.

“What? Right now..?”

“Yes, please!! I want you so bad!!😍”

As Dims was moving on top of her, Val grabbed his arms, closed her eyes and imagined that she’s touching those pale veiny arms with triad tattoos and….

Finally moaned in a total pleasure🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🔞.

THE END😊.

Oh nnnnnnooooooo... 😭😭😭💔

Don't tell me that's the way that evening went down... 😔

Now I'm sad! 😭😫

PS. "Touched his fit chest in the blouse" 😂

I can almost see that... 😏

Good job, anon! 😂👏✍️

[mkstrigidae]

1. are you a nickname person?

2. your go to coffee shop order?

3. one piece of media you love but don’t usually recommend to people (for whatever reason). and one piece of media that you love to recommend to people (for whatever reason).

ooooooooh such fun questions!!! Under a cut because i wrote a small essay oops.

I am ABSOLUTELY a nickname person. I both have several nicknames, and will use them affectionately for anyone who allows them. My fam uses 'Emmy' and the kids i used to babysit (and their parents, embarrassingly enough xD) call me 'Emmy-Emmy'. Those are pretty basic, but my favorite one is that my dad used to call me 'Tweety-Bird' when I was younger- partially because we both loved looney tunes, but mostly because I never stopped talking and chattering like a little bird

If the coffee shop has nice black teas, I am SO there- I'm not a coffee drinker actually! (I mentioned this in front of one of my friends in college and she went 'yeah, and I don't know how, because you never fucking sleep'). But yes, nice black tea (english breakfast or something spiced/with citrus) and I drink about one salted caramel mocha a year in the fall because they are extremely tasty but i don't like, crave them really. I once ordered a strawberry basil smoothie at a coffee shop that was so good I've been trying to replicate it for years, with limited success.

This was a HARD one! Probably 'Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden' which is a shojo manga series written as sort of a prequel to 'Fushigi Yuugi'. The original is something I read in high school, doesn't have a ton of actual plot, and feels immature when I go back to it, but Genbu Kaiden (which the author wrote two decades or so after the original) is actually a wonderfully mature tragedy/love story that's still a bit fan-service-y so i feel kind of embarrassed to love it as much as I do. It makes me cry every time I read it, in the best way possible. It's about how love and duty can both be our greatest strengths and the things that finally bring us to ruin- how we accept the love we think we deserve and what it's like to crave love from someone who fundamentally can't give you what you need until that love is the only thing capable of destroying you. About giving everything you have even though it's a thankless task because you're so determined to make yourself matter in some way. And eldest daughter syndrome, tbh. The art is lovely and while there are definitely some problematic elements, it's a series I'm really emotionally attached to.

As far as a piece of media I LOVE to recommend: the podcast 'You're Wrong About'. Initially hosted by Michael Hobbes and Sarah Marshall, now hosted by Sarah Marshall + weekly guest, it takes an event or person or concept from (usually) recent history or pop culture and reexamines how it actually differed from our perception of it. It is the most wonderfully empathetic and nuanced show I've ever listened to. You will learn SO much, and it will make you reconsider how you perceive the people and the world around you in the long term. It is also absolutely hilarious. They've done a (so-far) 19-part series about Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman's murders and the OJ Simpson trial as a snapshot of american culture and society and masculinity and it is genuinely incredible thing. The Kitty Genovese episode will both rewrite your understanding of the myth of 'Bystander Empathy' and make you cry. The Anna Nicole Smith episode will completely upend your perception of her life and all its ups and downs and tragedy, and will prevent you from ever being able to ever blindly mentally label someone as 'trashy' ever again. It's a show about how people are fundamentally complex and nuanced and fundamentally good even if some of us do some really inexcusable things. The challenger episode is a masterpiece. I love the Iran Contra Episode so so much. I corner my family members in cars and have forced them to listen to episodes. It's the best podcast in existence.

These were so fun!!! Thank you so much for such lovely asks! You are so wonderful and i hope someone has told you that lately 💕💕💕

[justasimplesinner]

Can I PLEASE (if I can be a greedy little rat) ask for some tasty oz from the Batman with a s/o who’s super kind to him and just wants to love him and 100% dedicated to him? when he was addressing Selina during the film I was like “I’d probably combust if he called me doll or any mafia wife petname” you can choose whether it’s nsfw or not, go wild

dude i will do anything for you, you're my la rata alada

The Batman (2022)!Penguin getting what he rightfully deserves hcs:

you worked at the Lounge, 44 Below to be exact. not many people earned their place here, it took you almost years to even be trusted enough to get close to the secret 'club in the club'. before being transfered to tend to the bar at 44, you didn't have much contact with Oswald. practically none at all, you maybe saw him passing through every now and again, he told you 'g'mornin'' exactly once on a good day when you were working late (or should i say early?). you knew who he was because you had to, he had no idea who you were and didn't give a shit because he didn't have to, and that was supposed to be it. except it wasn't

loyalty gets you far when it comes to Falcone and his 'business associates', and it earned you a spot behind the bar at 44. not spilling the beans and enduring a police interrogation without a word of complaint did, to be exact. same thing. word got around, Falcone realised you knew the risks and were ready to face them, and so you landed a promotion

at first, you were obviously under the watchful eye of the other bartender (what happened to the previous one remains a mystery, and maybe it's better this way). he showed you the ropes and told you about the regulars, gave you a few pointers but nothing too explicit, you were mostly on your own and you were observed like a hawk during the first month or two to make sure you were cut for the job

to your surprise, the first time Oswald walked through the doors late afternoon to start business, your coworker immediately elbowing your ribs to make him his usual (the so-called Dark 'n' Stormy, basically elevated rum with cola, with a few drops of ginger beer. simple, but it suited him), he immediately recognised you. well, recognised is a strong word. he 'knew you from somewhere', and you were surprised at his memory, admitting that you worked at the Lounge up until now. you watched him take a sip of the first drink you made him, give an approving hum that made relief flood your heart and simply wish you a good day

Oz didn't come down to the bar by himself too often. usually, the girls were delivering his drinks up to his lounge or office. whenever he did though, he was surprisingly polite. a little brash and straightforward, but still well-mannered. and with your experience in the bartending field, you always knew exactly what small talk to make with him. asking 'how's business' would only get you a suspicious look and stricter supervision, inquiring about smaller things though? a whole different story. you could see slight and very well-hidden surprise on Oswald's face the first time you asked if the drink you made was up to his standards or if he'd like something new, but ever since he realised you were striking up a harmless, polite conversation, he hung back just that minute longer than usual. it was nice, refreshing to just talk about trivial and meaningless things every now and again

what Oswald liked most about you was how diligent and precise you were about your job. being a bartender at 44 wasn't just about serving whiskey on the rocks or mojito's left and right. you needed to know the whole menu by heart and be able to make every drink from scratch at will. the clientele here wasn't supposed to wait, they were supposed to be waited. the girls came to you every minute with long lists of orders, multitasking wasn't an appreciated ability, it was required. you were also in charge of serving drops, which went hand-in-hand with lots of paperwork. you had your stash behind the bar and had to monitor every single ounce. everything had it's place, every bottle of drops had to be delivered to the right person, nothing could go under the radar, nothing could get stolen or spilled. your thoroughness when it comes to work made Oz's job easier as well - despite not getting the rightful credit for it, he was the one that basically run the club night and day, 24/7, 7 days a week, all year long. and ever since you came to work the bar, the paperwork was always delivered on time and everything was properly documented, customers were happy with you and - most importantly - the girls were happy with you. Oswald was protective of his working girls and made sure they were as comfortable as they could get, so the fact that you were also looking out for them completely unprompted really scored you a few points in his eyes

it didn't seem like your relations with Oswald would extend outside of work, until one day he came down to the bar almost right after closing, knuckles bruised and dirtied, the corner of his lips split by what you assumed was a punch, dried crimson blood smudged across his cheek. he was clearly exhausted, but still managed a mumbled, breathy 'thanks, dollface' (i hope dollface is gender-neutral enough??) as you immediately slid a glass of his usual drink into his hand.

'rough day, huh?' you inquired noncomittaly, giving him the option of not answering, not wanting to push him too much. you've seen him angry, furious even, but never this beaten-down. the day has really taken it's toll on him, it seemed

he only grunted in response, waving his hand as if to brush you off, but he didn't leave. only rested his elbows on the bar, downing his glass in one go and pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. maybe he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but you could see he didn't want to be alone right now. you were good at that - seeing through people. and so, you swiftly replaced the empty glass in his hand with a full one, wrapped some ice cubes in a clean rag and pressed them to his knuckles. and for the first time ever, you saw Oswald Cobblepot flinch away, you saw his brows furrow in genuine confusion, his eyes glancing up at you, clearly looking for some sort of ulterior motive in your actions. and as cliche as it sounds, in that moment, you saw Oz for what he truly was

you didn't answer the unspoken question. instead, you pressed the wrapped ice into his hands a bit more insistently one last time and started talking. about everything and anything. about work. about an unruly patron that was being mean to Sasha, one of the working girls, so you grabbed him by the collar and pushed him right out the door. about a new drink you learned to make that you offered to him. he even agreed to try it and give you his verdict. it was positive, despite being 'too sweet for his tastes'. you just broached random topics with him and you could see him gladly indulge, take his mind off the things that bothered him

there was something about you that he couldn't quite place. how you... practically cared for him for some unknown reason. first the cubes in the rag, the conversation, the company. then, you gave him a wet napkin to wipe the blood off his face. you noted how his shoulders were tense so you offered him a warm drink. he laughed that at the moment, he needed something stronger than just tea. but tea wasn't what you had in mind. he watched as you warmed up some rum, apple cider, add something that looked like cinnamon and a few things he couldn't quite recognize and place the steaming beverage in front of him. and - like a charm - he could feel the tension flood from his system after the first sip. it was good, too - not to sweet, you took his previous comment about him not having much of a sweet tooth to heart. he's hasn't felt this... comfy, home-y as he did at the bar, lightly conversing and drinking warm alcohol out of all things with you, in a while

it was... nice to take his mind off of things for a little moment. well, not such a little moment, since when he decided it was time to go back and took a glance at his watch, he realised he kept you behind the bar for almost two extra hours. and your only response to that was that you 'didn't mind'. he even offered to pay you for your time, and yet you just brushed him off, packed up and left when you saw that he was ready to leave the bar as well. and that's how this unlikely acquiantace began

unconsciously, Oswald started stopping by the bar slightly more often than before. without thinking, he landed himself at the counter every time he had a bad day, because he knew you could bring him comfort. he started collecting the paperwork from you himself, and soon enough, you were going up to his office to give it to him personally so he 'wouldn't have to run even more errands' as you put it. and then, before he noticed, you two were doing the paperwork together. mostly in his office, sometimes at the bar whenever something didn't add up and you had to look into things more (he may have not noticed that he automatically came down whenever you didn't arrive on time to sit with you at the bar, but you certainly have). you were the only stable and constant thing in his life, something he could look forward to

staying at work after hours became a more regular thing, but you didn't mind. you so easily and effortlessly adjusted to his schedule and soon enough it didn't just end on doing paperwork together. you stayed around longer and longer, filling the reports turned into lounging on the couch and conversing into late hours of the morning. whenever you two sat at the bar, you were in charge of making drinks for you two but in his office Oswald made it his point to pour you a glass himself. it was a nice change - being served instead of the opposite, for once in your life

it all escalated quickly, too, and yet none of you really made the first move to actually steer this into the direction both of you were hoping for it to go. the drinks, the conversations - that was just the tip of the iceberg. the subtle touches and glances you exchanged could only mean one thing and yet both of you denied it fervently, because obviously, you were just... acquaintances, right? even calling you two friends might be stretching it. right? it was completely normal for coworkers to give each other shoulder massages, memorizing each other's tastes in food and drinks, giving each other small, subtle sentimental gifts, driving each other home, sharing a coat or an umbrella-

it was so glaringly fucking obvious, and yet the two of you refused to acknowledge it, even with the girls teasing you relentlessly about it. you were literally walking to his car with your arms around each other, you in a coat he's had tailored for you, under one umbrella, and yet inside you're still like 'do i invite him inside or not???'

the whole dancing around each other had to come to an end at some point though, and it was Oswald who finally breached the gap. it wasn't even intentional, despite coming to terms with the fact that you were, indeed, important to him, he denied his feelings very fervently. until, at the end of your shift, one of the bouncers you always worked closely with (not that Oz noticed you two were closer than you were with the other, not at all-) and always called over whenever someone stirred up trouble decided to shoot his shot and ask you out. Oswald was just coming into the 44 after having escorted a few important guests out when he saw the whole thing, the way he looked and smiled at you, the way your cheeks got just that little bit flushed as you voiced out your surprise. if asked, he'd instantly deny his fists and teeth clenching and his heart dropping right to his gut, because it obviously meant nothing to him. you could do whatever the fuck you wanted. you weren't his, after all (even though he treated you as such and felt as if you were, sometimes-). he couldn't help but interrupt the whole thing, though. he couldn't help but remind the bouncer of his place, shoot you a look, almost a glare as he went up into his office

there wasn't anything going on between you two, so why did he feel so betrayed?

you didn't know how to interpret the look he gave you. it was different, there was weight behind it. you didn't like it. it made you feel like you did something wrong. the second you closed up the bar, you went right up to his office. you didn't even bring the paperwork with you. you skip all the pleasantries, immediately asking him if he's alright, if he wanted to talk about something

he immediately brushes you off with a wave of his hand, grunting out 'i'm fine' despite it clearly being a blatant lie. you can swear the hand holding his cigar is on the verge of trembling, but you don't push. you never do, you always give him space and as much time as he needs to tell you about anything, and that's exactly why he lov-

he not-so-subtly changes the subject, asking what was the whole 'bouncer thing' about, if he was bothering you, blah blah blah. trying to act like he's just looking out for you when in reality he's hanging onto your every word, desperate to know what you said to that fucking bloke

you know he will come to you in his own time, on his own terms, so you indulge. you chuckle a bit, taking a seat on the armrest next to him, and say how the boy 'finally grew himself a pair of balls and decided to ask you out' (bouncer's words, not yours), despite you apparently being 'untouchable' (hmm, wonder why's that?). the way you laugh quietly, the slightest blush coming back to your cheeks and ears, makes Oswald think you're happy with the predicament, happy you got asked out by that piece of trash and he can't stand that thought. as much as he tries to tell himself it's none of his business, he can't fucking stand it

he has to ask, and so he does

'and?'

when you look at him with slight confusion on your face, he sighs heavily as his fist subtly clenches on the fabric of his dress pants

'did you agree? did you say yes?' he was insistent, dark eyes boring into you, trying to seem relaxed but you could always sense whenever he was tense. you look back at him, at that scarred, fatigued face that you've gotten so used to for these past months, and you see something shimmering just beneath the surface, something familiar and yet unknown. you know that look and you know it well, but for the first time in forever, you finally feel like you can fully understand the meaning behind it. or you're just delusional. it's worth a try though, isn't it? the risk seems great but it always is, at some point you'll have to face the truth, so why not take that fucking leap of faith now?

'no' it was quiet, breathless, but with how close to him you've gotten, you're sure he heard anyway

and hear he did

'good' you barely caught that before his hand enveloped both sides of your chin and pulled you right into him in one fluid, forceful motion. maybe he clashed into you a little bit too hard, but you didn't have the strength to care, not when his other arm wound tightly around you, when your body automatically slid into his lap and fit right into his like a missing puzzle piece. the way he kissed you was insistent, dominant, almost desperate in nature, the feeling of his scarred lips on yours almost otherwordly. you were sure that if not for his arm keeping you close to him, you'd float right away

did you ride him in his office that night? maybe. did he mark your neck up so the bouncer specifically would see? maybe. what's for sure is that you're untouchable, you're his and Oswald knows damn well how to take good care of what's his

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Podoboo

Debut: Super Mario Bros.

Before I start this post, I’d like to clear something up. Podoboo? Yes, Podoboo! I’m well aware these enemies are often called Lava Bubbles and that’s the name Nintendo has been trying to make standardised these days, but you know what? You can’t make me! Podoboo is a lot cuter, plus its the name I grew up with and changes in society scare me and cause me to lash out! Maybe Lava Bubble is closer to the Japanese name of just “Bubble”, but since when has that been a factor in any of the localised names? Do you really want to refer as Lakitu as “Jugemu”, huh? I’ll have you know one of my civil rights as a citizen of Wet Dry World is to refer to Mario enemies with whichever official name I please. Like it or leave it!

So this is a post about Podoboo. Do you like Podoboo? I certainly Podo-do! They are perhaps the most generic design you could give to a Mario enemy, a visibly Dangerous Thing with two eyes, but they have always charmed me! It’s the little things, like their distinct shape and the fact their pupils are somewhat wider than most obstacles like this. They bring me comfort in dire times. No matter what happens, I know Podoboo will be there, jumping at a set height in a particular spot of lava! Without them I would be nothing! 

So simple is their design, isn’t it weird to think they started off as even simpler? The Podoboos in the first SMB game are completely blind, and with no eyes they may as well not be creatures at all! Of course, I’m very glad they are creatures, and their iconic behaviour was there from the start! They love to jump, of course! There is nothing they would rather be doing!

Awaken! As of Super Mario World, they have been gifted sight and are no longer blind to the sins of this world! Hurray! What do you think they see as they jump up and down? I’m surprised it doesn’t make them dizzy!

You’ll be glad to hear Podoboos have had an expansive career ever since, now with their new trademark eyes! After all, they are THE lava enemy! Anywhere you’ve got that tasty hot fire juice, these guys are soon to follow! Here they are in Super Mario RPG, called Sparkies here because they couldn’t make up their minds on a localized name and probably because they confused them with Li’l Sparkies. In Yoshi’s Story they even called them Spark Spooks! Geez, I’ll even take the name Lava Bubble over this! But doesn’t this render look nice and juicy?

Though any great career has its flops, and I have to say... I am usually the first to campaign for the unique designs from the first three Paper Marios, but I do not really like this Lava Bubble! This takes away from their distinct Mario-y charm and makes them look like a Fire Enemy you could find in any other game! Though in the RPGs they are able to float around without needing any lava, the ones in Super Paper Mario act just like the platformer ones, jumping around despite not looking like they should be doing that! Ok!

The Podoboo from New Super Mario Bros. DS just wasn’t trying very hard at all. Come on! They could’ve it a bit more justice than this! 

Ah, there we go! The Podoboos in New Super Mario Bros. Wii decided to finally stop messing about and go back to what everyone loved from them in Super Mario World. I encourage experimenting with your identity, of course, but it’s good to be back, and now they are more mortal than ever! A single shot from an Ice Flower is enough to instantly vaporize a Podoboo in a puff of smoke, which is a bit scary! Are they really just pure fireballs that can be put out just like that? What a frightening life to live!

And in Super Mario Galaxy 2, they... hey, wait!! You took away their eyes again! Now you are just being inconsiderate. This outraged me as a kid! One of my most vivid memories of playing this game with my brother involved chanting “Podoboo rights! They deserve eyes!” because this upset me so much. Maybe my past as an activist is why I am so passionate about Mario enemies these days... I think I was 100 percent correct in hindsight, and now you know some of my backstory, too!

What relief it gave me to find out they were back to their usual selves in 3D Land! And they have been ever since, of course getting redesigned for the modern Paper Mario games and everything. 

What’s this? Blue Podoboos! Podo-blues, even...! They show up in 3D World, in its incredibly cool-looking blue lava levels! It’s a well known fact that blue fire is objectively cooler than red fire, and it seems even the Podoboos wanted in on the action! Blue Lava is an actual phenomenon I’ve just learnt, though it’s a sulfuric fire rather than lava. Could it be that Podoboos, being made entirely of lava, adapt to their environment? I’m not sure...

As an aside, the blue Lava Bubbles aren’t to be confused with Lava Bubble (Blue), which are from Mario Galaxy and show up during King Kaliente’s fight! They hop around on the ground and have square-ish eyes, which is enough to make them different I guess!

The Podoboo’s next big appearance, in Super Mario Odyssey, was in Soup! Yes you heard me- Soup! Some delightfully pepto-bismol pink coloured soup, no less. This is why I wasn’t too sure about Podoboo’s being able to adapt to their environment earlier- the Luncheon Kingdom is a big soup volcano after all, but the fact these Lava Bubbles are able to live in it is very interesting!

There is simply no way I would talk about Odyssey here without talking about possibly its greatest achievement, the best game design decision ever made! After decades of begging from fans, they finally did the impossible- they made Podoboo playable! Now it is Podo-you! It is quite unlike the other captures in the game, since it keeps the Podoboo’s simple-looking eyes and simply adds onto it a nose and a mustache! You may very well be the world’s first Podoboo with a sense of smell! I wonder if that is a benefit or not. The constant smell of soup might be a bit overpowering. 

Not only is this delightful, but it gives us more insight into the life of the humble Podoboo. First of all is the fact that they can swim around in lava, not just jump in one spot! Do you think they do this when we aren’t looking? I really hope so! Imagine a school of Podoboos swimming through molten lava in a castle’s moat. How delightful! 

The Luncheon Kingdom is also home to a number of Lava cannons, marked with a Podoboo’s lovely face. These are cannons for only for Podoboos to launch themselves across the kingdom, from one body of lava to another! My question is whether this was technology made by Podoboos themselves or whether it was made by some generous Podoboo lovers as some lava equivalent to the Fish Tube. I think I would take either explanation! 

And last I have a Podoboo appearance that even I, the world’s biggest Podoboo fan, didn’t know about! Paper Mario Color Splash has a Big Lava Bubble boss which speaks with you through a Shy Guy translator! It is quite upset that you barged into its volcano and decided to change the temperature. Mario, of course, kills it anyway, and also the Shy Guy translator without a second thought.

Still, just take a look at this sprite sheet! How cute! A little disappointing that they thinned out the eyes, but wow! They more than make up for it with this range of expressions! An angry Podoboo! A sad Podoboo! And my personal favorite is of course the shocked Podoboo with its assymetrical dot eyes, which might be one of the best things I’ve ever seen. 

To be honest, I could talk about Podoboo forever! If you didn’t stop me, I would go on all day about their every appearance, but I kind of had to limit myself to some of the most relevant ones. I just think they’re neat! And cute! And silly! Besides, I’m Mod F Boy, so I’m basically obliged to talk about fireballs with eyes! But for now I must bid you Pod-adieu! 

...Not! What, did you really believe me? Well you clicked the Keep Reading button, so you only have yourself to blame for this. Here I am talking about more Lava Bubbles from all over, because Lava Bubble’s career has taken it BEYOND the Mario series! Wow!

Podoboo’s had quite a few appearance in the Zelda series, appearing in Link’s Awakening, both the Oracle games, and even Cadence of Hyrule! Their Zelda wiki page is still called Podoboo instead of Lava Bubble, which means those Zelda fans have it better than we do. But wow, this is a pretty angry looking Podoboo! I wouldn’t mess with them! 

Both the Oracle games even had a Podoboo Tower! Amazing! They look quite a lot like a Fire Snake, but they are simply a tower of Podoboos! Why don’t they do this more often?

Hm... The Cadence of Hyrule one doesn’t have any eyes. Come on guys! It’s 2019! Podoboos having eyes should be standard! Though they still made the conscious decision to call them “Podoboos” in 2019, so I can’t be too mad. 

And they have even spread to Minecraft! In the Mario Mash-up Pack, they replace the Magma Cube enemies, and really there was no better choice for this. And now we have a Podoboo Cube! What more could possibly be left for Podoboo?

The answer is obvious- Podoboo in real life! Thanks to a certain Lego Mario set, Podoboo is now real and can be in your home for the small price of 19,99 US dollars. Please give a Podoboo a home today! Just make sure you don’t own anything flammable. 

[prof-peach]

My old, disabled grandpa needs a pokemon in the house to keep him company after his wife passed away and to take care of some basic house chores for him. My parents don't know anything about Pokemon so they're letting me choose the pokemon for him. What do you recommend? (For reference, he's all there mentally, he just needs a wheelchair to move around the house)

OK! se we had a brief chat about what Gramps likes to do, and what stuff he enjoys, which has narrowed the list a little. 

Most would say get him a Mr.Mime or Audino or something traditionally used in the care industry and be done with it, but the suggestions I am about to make are a little more unusual and fun, BUT depend entirely on a pokemon with the right personality. ALL species can be hyper, difficult, rambunctious, naughty or even flat out fussy, not something you'd want for a companion. You are looking for a slower paced, patient and caring individual, who will be happy to take on some household roles to help their trainer. 

So heres my choices, and bare in mind they're just suggestions, and something far more appropriate may come along and surprise you both. 

Geodude: overlooked as care providers and helpers, they're tough, often patient, with versatile bodies and skills, they can carry shopping with ease, push wheelchairs if need be, and in the wild take pride in their home being quite tidy, being found cleaning the areas they frequent regularly, so not adverse to a little tidying or a few household jobs. Of course they come with a lot of different personality types, but also they're not rare, so finding a good match personality wise might be far easier than if you had to hunt down say a Chansey or something far more difficult to find. They're usually good natured, and have no issue bonding to trainers who give them tasty snacks and show them some love. 

Miltank: Overtly loving, they are easy to domesticate, simple to care for, and strong enough to do jobs, push chairs, and keep up with a busy man wheelin’ bout town. This species has a fondness for quiet moments, naps in the shade on hots days, and lounging about. They can be very dozey and sweet, and he’ll enjoy their entertainment, they can be a little ditzy after just waking up. Ive seen many entrust a great deal to Miltank, and the species handles tasks with skill and surprising adaptivity should things go awry a touch. 

Grumpig: often seen napping, generally lounging about, and overall being very slow paced, this pokemon is a good match to those who like a laid back way of life, and they also have the added bonus of strong psychic abilities, to get Gramps up stairs should he find himself unfortunately blocked without disability access to somewhere. They can be a little lazy, BUT they will use their telekinetic powers to do jobs for them, and despite their usual ways, they do enjoy a trip to a local park or quiet river to sit and take it all in at their own pace.

Bronzor: Kind, energetic, loving, durable, and even more so when evolved. This species, its whole line really, is a great match, needing no real feeding, and the occasional bit of care with a good dust or scrub. they're smart enough to perform tasks, and have skills with their psychic abilities, meaning they can help with household work AND with mobility should an issue arise. They also don’t need exercise to be healthy (though of course they do enjoy a good walk or bit of work) so hanging about the house a lot isn't a bad thing for them so much as a fleshy more ordinary pokemon.

Reuniclus: I mean, I cant say enough about this line, the pokemon within it are superb for care work, no need for feeding, no need for training, they're just super clean, super kind, and also very smart pokemon, capable of helping a number of people, let alone one with all his wits about him! they also make for very fun companions and enjoy partaking in any activity that involves their trainers time and attention. You could get this pokemon from a younger age and it’d do just as well, and bond to Grampa no doubt a little faster.

Diggersby: Tough, easy going, functional in the home, capable of running errands and also ding jobs around the home. They have varying personality sure, but are very functional and robust day to day. They also keep good time, so reminding their trainers about lunches, taking medicines, or otherwise doing tasks is easy stuff for them.

Oranguru: Hyper smart, often understanding and kind, with patience galore, they're overlooked often enough on all fronts, but i think they make excellent companions and care givers. their skill set means they're dexterous, capable of understanding a lot of human speech and more subtle hints and nods to how our languages work (ie sarcasm or hidden feelings aren't lost on them, they just get our language really well). They’re known for their skill with flavours, so cooking with Granpa may be a fun task they could share, and learn new things together.

Indeedee: Gaining energy from gratitude, they're happy to help others often enough, and mean well in all of their actions. They have a strong sturdy nature, good bodies that can perform many tasks, and adaptable learning skills, meaning they'll be able to tackle new or unusual task with a fair amount of logic and wisdom from prior experience. They may even enjoy a good story if their trainer would read them one. 

one of these may suit, but its the personality that means everything, so get both Gramps and the pokemon to meet, so they can see if they get along. Getting out and taking in fresh air is so vital at all stages in life, but that your fam use to enjoy going out, and doesn't so much anymore, is a saddening thing to hear. With luck they regain company, and can go back to taking time out in the local parks, read a book in the sun, or simply pop to the shops with their new partner, with confidence that nothing will stop them, or get in the way. The pokemon chosen will want to get out, so even if he stays at home, make sure they get time in the fresh air, and days off from working, so potentially two working on shifts would work best for this situation. Everyone deserves a day off, our darling pokemon carers included. Good luck, hope this leads you to finding the right pick, and don’t forget to check the local shelters, some pokemon get handed in with lack of a trainer (who may have passed away) and have no issue other than wanting company, just like your family needs now. That may just help bond the two, it wouldn't be unheard of. 

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[phoenixyfriend]

Time-Travel feat. Ino, Sakura, TenTen

The short of it is "Ino, in the Founders Era, sees Izuna and makes it her personal mission to Tap That."

The time-travelers are Ino, Sakura, and TenTen. Why them? I like girls being badasses, these three make a badass trio, and I don't want to deal with Caged Bird Seal politics. (Hyuuga just... complicate time-travel plots.)

Ino is the one that is clearly clan, and they make a group decision that the benefits of Yamanaka backing (and by extension Akimichi and Nara) outweigh the potential drawbacks.

It's pretty easy to convince them that they're Worth It. Ino doesn't bring anything new, really, but she's clever and knows the clan techniques and is very good at them, so the clan head (after performing a mind search to confirm the story) is like Sure, You're In.

Meanwhile, Sakura is a terrifyingly competent medic that knows hundreds, if not thousands, of medical techniques that don't even EXIST yet, and TenTen might not be a medic like the other two, or capable of explodey punches, or clan-trained, but the girl is a taijutsu powerhouse that's probably fast as hell because she was trained by GAI, and she's got at minimum a journeyman-level training in fuuinjutsu.

(Also just, don't argue with the 100% accuracy lady. Just don't. The reason she doesn't have a body-count to rival Minato's eventual count is because she doesn't want to and basically no other reason. There are some opponents that a Kunai to the Neck won't take down for whatever reason? Iron-skin, water body, super healing/shapeshifting, but for the rank and file? That's a one-hit. And she can throw hundreds of kunai at a time, so... if you take the 100% accuracy statements literally, she's a nightmare if she decides to go lethal.)

They run missions for a bit, and Ino is... usually the one sent out on field missions, because Sakura's busy teaching people how to save lives, and TenTen is currently the closest thing the Yamanaka have to a seal master--she's not a master, not on the level of an Uzumaki or even a Senju, but she's way better than most on account of village training schema and it's cheaper to give her a long-term role in the triple clan system than to hire independent contractors--but sometimes they all go out!

And... okay, I'm gonna be real here: Nobody approves of the way Ino dresses other than Ino and her girls.

Sakura extends her pants a bit. TenTen's fine. Ino refuses to stop wearing crop tops and short skirts, and none of you can stop her.

It helps that Ino's response to guys propositioning her is to tell them to back off, and then if they get handsy, she breaks their wrists. If they're ninjas getting handsy, she starts a fight, but most ninjas are smarter than that because they realize she's not just A Kunoichi, based on how she's moving, but a kunoichi with long, free-flowing hair, which is like... basically a big "I'm A-rank or better, come at me if you dare" flag. On the off chance that someone tries to fuck with Ino and they're actually out of her league in taijutsu, she has Mind Scrambling or, if absolutely necessary, an ear-piercing scream that summons a woman that can fistfight gods.

(And absolutely has.)

But anyway, The Girls go for a Girls Night Out one day. No plans to get laid, but they want to go shopping and have fruity drinks and maybe cause a little trouble.

They visit a blacksmith at one point, because weapons shops aren't quite a thing yet due to lack of centralized shinobi systems, and TenTen's talking up a storm with the smith about things like carbon infusion and alloys preferences, and Sakura's just standing off to a side reading something because most of what she wants/needs can be made by Akimichi blacksmiths, so she's not really in need of anything specialty. She wanders off after a bit, tells them all she wants to visit the apothecary to see if they have any herbs she's running low on. Ino is browsing examples of the blacksmith's more esoteric handiwork When In Walks An Uchiha.

TenTen has a VERY basic look, more or less civilian who got some ninja training, so Izuna doesn't pay her much attention, but blonde isn't a very common color in the Land of Fire, unless one happens to be a Yamanaka or Senju, and even among them it's not like EVERY clan member. (Or Namikaze but imo Minato's color is actually from Land of Earth immigrants and is a BLATANTLY different shade from characters like Ino and Tsunade.)

Senju is obviously, uh, bad, but the Yamanaka and Uchiha are basically neutral... mostly. There's some tension. Izuna isn't expecting to be attacked, but he's constantly darting glances out the side of his eye just in case.

Ino is... not unaware of Izuna.

She feels his eyes on her, notes the fact that he keeps making faces like he's not sure what to think, and Ino... Ino is of the opinion that this is funny.

She decides to drop something on purpose just so she can beeeeeeeeeeend over to pick it up and see what happens. Ino, again, does not dress appropriately for the decade she is in. Izuna chokes on his own spit.

Ino: I'm gonna be a bit of a ho. Yamanaka Clan: Please don't, our reputation is-- Ino: I'M GONNA BE A BIT OF A HO.

So Ino's fucking with Izuna's head by just... being Ino, really, she turns around like "OMG are you alright???" and lets him see that her eyes are lacking pupils so he doesn't keep worrying about whether she's a Senju, pats him on the back, coos over him, flatters his hair, and then insults his fashion sense.

She is of the firm belief that his expression is hilarious. Flirt Flirt Flirt "but you're wearing that? Really? Oh honey, you should know better."

(Ino pulls pickup artist shit on Izuna.)

Ino is fucking with him, and she is enjoying herself. She's a flirt, she's gorgeous, she's a bit of a ho, and Izuna is a hot, main family clan boy who keeps blushing. He's maybe two years older than her and he squeaks when she squeezes his shoulder and compliments his muscles.

And after all that, after Ino has wound him up and turned him around and gotten him confused and flustered and a little angry...

That is when they feel the ground shake and hear Madara screaming for The Pink-Haired Bitch to "come back here so I can kick your ass!"

So. Yes. Sakura has picked a fight with Madara. I don't know how or why, I just know that Sakura and Madara are fighting, Ino and Izuna are both going 'dude WHY' about their respective fighty person and fleeing the blacksmith to go stop whatever's going on before they get banned from town--because really, they can force their way in, but it's way easier to get those tasty daifuku mochi from that one shop when people WANT to serve them--and TenTen is... still chatting up the blacksmith. The girl is going to get a discount.

Sakura leads Madara on a bit of a merry chase so the fight happens a mile outside of town--Ino loves her more than ever--and there's a flare of "Sakura punches a Susanoo," and by the time Izuna and Ino get there, Sakura is yelling in Madara's face about how he's fucking up his eyes.

Madara is. Offended. Izuna is also offended. Those are clan secrets, and Sakura is just looking him in the eye without fear and I'm like. Half convinced that they want to just tear her throat out.

Except Ino is there, and Sakura called her by name, and they know that names with 'Ino' among the Yamanaka are only for clan heirs, and they can't just pick a fight with the entire clan.

They. They can't afford that right now. Tajima is ramping up the whole Thing with the Senju again and they do not have the resources to add another front.

"For fuck's sake, will you let me go alive if I fix some of the damage you've done to yourself?" "You can fix the Mangekyo?" "Uh, no, nobody can fix that hellscape of a doujutsu without some incredibly invasive surgery that I refuse to do in a non-sterile environment unless there's literally no other choice, but I can reverse some of the chakra strain on your ocular nerve if you stop trying to pick a fight because I got the last of the [some medicinal plant that only grows up in the badlands around Iwa]."

Izuna shrieks and demands if that's really what they were punching down trees for and Madara yells at him to fuck off and Ino just laughs at all of them.

Sakura is like. Two seconds away from putting Madara in a headlock and calling him a nerd. He's like a solid five years older than her and she's smarter than he is and he's a jock but she's going to dunk his head in a toilet, I swear to god.

[Image Description: a gif from Will and Grace where a man in a dark shirt approaches a woman in a white shirt for a hug. Both characters have their arms spread wide in greeting, but the woman subverts the expected hug and pulls the man into a headlock with an angry expression.]

(Tenten is just, she's having a good time with a random blacksmith, talking shop. She just comes out to see all this crap has happened and it's like she came back with pizzas to see the apartment wrecked.)

Anyway, Sakura does some Medic Mojo on the Uchiha bros, Ino continues to flirt with Izuna until he can't tell up from down anymore, and when they're headed back to meet up with TenTen and see if there are any ruffled feathers that need smoothing, Ino declares that she's going to get that boy to propose to her.

"Don't people usually say 'I'm gonna marry that boy' or--" "Nah, I don't know him well enough to make that decision. I just want him invested in me. Whether or not I do anything with that... depends on how well he woos me."

And anyway, things spiral from there, Ino keeps hitting on Izuna whenever she gets a chance, Izuna keeps being Very Overwhelmed by this girl that shows off so much of her body and has the confidence of a god--because Ino is the epitome of confidence and always will be--while Sakura fucks off to badger the Senju into peace by making friends with Hashirama and bribing Tobirama with medical developments and flirting with Touka (except Touka's almost a decade older than her and is flattered but not interested, thank you), and TenTen is... honestly I'm not sure what TenTen is doing except that there's a very solid chance she's sneaking off to meet with Uzumaki specialists to help her build a Zetsu Trap.

Our trio of badass ladies decides that Hm, Actually, Having Bijuu Backup Would Be Nice.

Ino's the best sensor of the three, but even she's not feeling out where the nearest bijuu is, so they go for the by-that-point tried and true method of "Sakura goes and hassles Tobirama for information while TenTen and Ino play cards with Hashirama."

Tobirama does point them in the direction of the nearest bijuu--it's the Kyuubi, even!--and Sakura just... invites Hashirama along.

Hashirama: Oh! What do I have to do if I come? Sakura: Stand there and look pretty, mostly. Hashirama: Yes, I can do that. Sakura: And then interfere if we piss off the Kyuubi enough that he attacks. He probably won't, but Mokuton is useful if he does. Hashirama: Oooooh yeah, I can do that.

Tobirama is so tired but these gals are pretty determined to do the whole Peace Thing and Hashirama can mostly take care of himself, and Butsuma isn't quite dead but almost there (idk some disease or infected wound, it doesn't matter), so Hashirama isn't a Clan Head ditching his job but there's nobody around that can stop him from running off, so Tobirama's just like "Cool, don't die."

Butsuma: [dying] Sakura: [sipping a mixed drink wearing sunglasses inside] Shame.

So they go find Kurama, and try to barter with him about the whole Zetsu situation, and... ngl okay I have an entire conversation in mind about "your evil goo uncle" and "none of us know how to seal a bijuu without taking away your autonomy, but sealing is the best way to hide you from Zetsu, so do you have any ideas on a compromise" and "I can SORT of figure out how to--"

And then Kurama just. Summons a smaller fox. Which has a scroll. And pokes it towards TenTen because she's the one that's Impressed Him The Right Way over the course of the conversation.

(Mostly by being vaguely sparky about fuuinjutsu and easily distracted by the Ifs of it instead of the Whys.)

And once she's signed--which Ino and Sakura are just like 👀 about because Oh???--Kurama nods and just. Presses his snout to her hand. And without telling her what he's doing, he just enters her body and settles in as a consenting jinchuuriki situation. He can leave without killing her if he wants, but he can also just chill out. He's hidden from Zetsu, TenTen gets a boost, and nobody's in prison.

(Time to belatedly note that TenTen was earlier suggested as the best jinchuuriki option since, among other things, she had the least to lose as far as chakra control went.)

TenTen: My chakra control is pretty shitty, but I can fight hand to hand for literal hours without feeling like I've done more than a light jog, is that good?

TenTen is such a different brand of ninja from most of the heavy hitters. Because her main attack is just More Knife.

Team InoShikaCho has their whole human yoyo thing, Sakura can punch gods, Naruto and Sasuke are literally insane levels of power, Kiba turns into a giant three-headed dog and Shino can insert exploding bugs into people, Lee can kick hard enough to make a bijuu pause, Neji and Hinata are... okay I don't have much to say about the Hyuuga, but... TenTen. She's just here with some seals and whole lot of sharp and pointy things.

Founders era, you have Madara and Hashirama with their god-level techniques, Tobirama is usually sword but has a bajillion other things like his Suiton, Izuna has a Mangekyo, Mito has her chains and was the first jinchuuriki... and then, here’s TenTen, with Many Sharp.

Her special attacks are Throw, Stab, and Kick the Shit Out Of because she still trained under Maito Gai.

TenTen is the current queen of "catch these hands."

After the village is founded, she challenges one of the og founders to taijutsu only and the literal only reason she doesn't win against Hashirama is that he has a healing factor and is built like a brick house.

TenTen: Hey, Izuna, if you beat me in a taijutsu fight, Ino might be impressed. Izuna: No weapons? TenTen: No weapons, no bijuu, no Sharingan. Izuna: Cool, I can do this. [five minutes later] Izuna: [screaming]

The triple clan alliance: We will gladly join Konoha on the condition that-- Izuna, internally, chanting: That I marry Ino That I marry Ino That I marry Ino-- Madara, internally: Please don't say that Izuna marries Ino Tobirama, internally: [math meme because he can imagine like eighty conditions] Hashirama, internally: [elevator music] The triple clan alliance: That you put Haruno Sakura in charge of the hospital. Izuna: [internal screaming] Madara: [sigh of relief] Tobirama: [internal cheering] Hashirama: That sounds great! I've seen her work, she's a great choice for hospital management, do you think she'd be willing to spearhead a medical training program on the side?

Izuna just wanted the politics to be his wingman here, she's killing him.

Ino has broken this man.

(At this point she's mostly made up her mind... unfortunately, she deeply enjoys messing with him! He's too fun to tease!)

Ino: I want to marry him, yeah, but did you see his face when I teased him about visiting the Daimyou's court and looking for a rich husband to bring to Konoha? He even knows I'd never marry a civilian, and yet.

(He knows, it's just that his brain is dumb when she is involved.)

TenTen asks Hashirama if he's opposed to threesomes, mostly because Mito is amazing and TenTen's a little in love with her. Hashirama is NOT opposed to threesomes, but only with Madara, sorry.

Ino is just... the queen of self-confidence. I want to include some gifs to explain but there are just too many.

As a rule, Ino wears high collars, but... she might try to pioneer Tiddy Shirts out of spite because people keep trying to tell her to dress More Appropriately.

Ino, adjusting her wrap top to show more of the chesticles: Relax, Hashirama, I'm just taking a page out of your granddaughter's book. Hashirama: [verbal keysmash]

This one twitter post.

Sakura: You can't just use your tits to get what you want! Ino: I didn't see you complaining when I got us free dango. Ino, misunderstanding Sakura's point: Uh, yeah I can? Watch. Ino: [gets drinks for the table and a free dessert too] Ino: See? Sakura: Oh my god. TenTen, cutting a slice of cake: Yeah I think she's got us here Sakura. TenTen: I love using Ino's tits to get what I want. Sakura: No!

Sakura: Why am I the only one of us who isn't down for Ino using feminine wiles for material gain? TenTen: Does it have anything to do with your unresolved childhood crush on her? Sakura: ..... shut up.

Sakura: Was Sasuke descended straight from Izuna's line? What if you just negated his existence? Ino: I mean, his soul still exists, right? Or will exist? It's not like we could have lined the genetics up perfectly anyway, don't worry about it.

Once Ino finally lets Izuna woo her, they turn into that couple that's just constantly making out in dark corners. PDA is over 9000. Sakura throws erasers at them to make them stop. TenTen catcalls. TenTen just. Not interested in being a thot in the slightest, but delighted by Ino being a thot.

Izuna: Help I don't know how to BDSM and my hot wife is a dominatrix. Madara: Sucks to be you.

(Ino being a bit of a ho fits and feels fun because she's also just like, very convincingly an actualized character. If Ino is acting like a bit of a ho it's very definitely because she wants to and is absolutely going to make that everybody else's problem.)

Ino, at any given moment: Did you miss the part where I'm the hottest person here?

I'm honestly considering platonic-marriage TenTen/Tobirama on the basis of Seals And Sparking. There aren't enough women in the Founders Era for me to ship Sakura with one so I'm going to say she ends up living in domestic bliss with a Nara kunoichi.

Sakura: Can I just. Can I just be Gay here? Like, can I just Be Gay and get Big Gay Married and have 2 dogs and lead a prestigious medical program? Tenten and Ino: Of course you can, hon! We'll be up to our nonsense the entire time, though.

Sakura: Well... at least Shikamaru isn't here to complain about Ino being the way she is.

OH I forgot to mention TenTen wearing Externalized Small Fox Kurama around like a scarf.

Kurama: [Gets to be out of the seal and See Stuff] TenTen: [Constantly has a companion around who is never tired of hearing her Special Interest Rant about smithing techniques and what will eventually be Aerodynamics after TenTen accidentally builds a plane while tinkering]

TenTen: I wonder if I could make Temari's giant fan thing work for me without wind chakra. [two years of tinkering later] TenTen: I can't remember what I was trying to do at the start but I can definitely fly now.

(Sakura's honestly lucky that Karin isn't there.)

(And tbh Sakura's only The Sensible One until Madara pisses her off and then it's time for people to remind her that she can't just go around Punching Things.)

When Sakura is forced to be the Voice of Reason she is always frustrated. When TenTen is freed from the responsibility of being the Voice of Reason? Shenanigans. TenTen's defense is that she never got to be the crazy one in Team Gai. Like, she’s still a little nutty, but she couldn’t go all out because she was constantly overshadowed by the YOUTH and also Neji’s fate situation.

ANYWAY. TenTen and Tobirama.

TenTen: Your brain makes me horny. Tobirama: Oh, finally, someone sensible.

I remember that while I was brainstorming, I had "TenTen tells Tobirama to marry her within five minutes of meeting him because they vibed so hard on weird fuuinjutsu stuff" followed by "Izuna sputtering and saying that everyone told him that he couldn't just propose to a girl he liked, why does Tobirama get to accept a proposal from a clanless kunoichi when Izuna can't even--"

The proposal is from TenTen to Tobirama, which imo is hilarious in the context of the Warring Clans Era, and also is done on a whim and is basically just.

Tobirama: [says a clever thing about one of TenTen's theories] TenTen, grabbing his hands and looking him in the eye, her own eyes full of stars and the classic Team Gai sunset genjutsu around her: Marry me. Tobirama: ...do we have to have sex? TenTen: No. Tobirama: Do you plan on children? TenTen: Students yes, adoption maybe. Tobirama: I'm sold. Hashirama:

[Image Description: Stephen Colbert, in a suit, dramatically crying at the camera. He has running mascara, and the caption says “I just feel like my heart is going to burst because it’s full of rainbows.” End Description.]

They're Nerd-married and it's the best.

I love the idea of Hashirama just being an Elevator Music Mind when it comes to Tobirama and TenTen. Like. An orange cat. Like, okay, yes Minato is the Hokage with the orange cat energy. And Hashirama is usually golden retriever energy.

But when it comes to Tobirama and TenTen, Hashirama is completely oblivious to their intention to do such things as Raise The Dead For Science.

They're not even raising a specific person for a specific reason, they're just vibing Super Hard and haven't slept enough and forgot this is a bad idea. Got so obsessed with "Can we" that they forgot "should we."

(And I feel like Kurama just encourages them like a chaos entity.)

Tobirama: It was a theoretical exercise. Hashirama, gesturing at the zombie army trying to eat its way out of a Mokuton Cage: !!!! Tobirama: We realized it didn't need to stay theoretical. TenTen: In our defense, we were left unsupervised. Tobirama: It's true, we were.

Sakura: TenTen! I expected better of you! TenTen, with sincere confusion: Why? Sakura: ... TenTen:  Like you knew my team, and my sensei, and also I agreed to help you go back in time and alter the past.

Overall.......

Ino: [here to fluster her pretty boy husband] TenTen: [got platonic married to a necromancer who shares some special interests and hyperfocuses with her] Sakura: [just wants 2.5 kids and a steady paycheck as she runs a world-changing medical program]

Anyway

Back to TenTen being Wild.

[Image Description: TenTen in her Shippudent outfit, which is calf-length red pants and a white qipao top with red trim, turning on the spot while flourishing a pair of scrolls that expel weaponry on her command. End description.]

I like to imagine TenTen has an abundance of common sense, but she just never, ever applies it to herself. She can only common sense when other people present her with their problems. TenTen: What if I combined Ribbon dances with the noble art of YEET, then made it into a fighting style?

"I've got 99 problems and all of them can be solved with sharp and pointy objects."

[This section of the brainstorming is removed on account of being deeply inappropriate for a post that should max out at rated M. Just know that Ino and Izuna are freaks, and TenTen and Tobirama are enablers.]

BACK TO TENTEN BEING ABSURD

Tobirama: Ugh, I can't match Hashirama's energy levels for another entire day. TenTen, a member of Team Gai: I can do it. Tobirama: Hashirama is literally inhumanly happy and-- TenTen: No, no, I got this.

(You have no idea how much practice she has at this Tobirama, no idea.)

Tobirama: I am currently the fastest man alive. TenTen: Only because you cheat with Hiraishin. I could totally beat you in a five-hundred lap race around Konoha. Hashirama: ...five hundred? Tobirama: Wait, what. TenTen, already stretching: Yeah, let's do this! It's been a while since I had a solid challenge, you know? Hashirama: ???? Tobirama, is she serious? Tobirama: She runs two hundred laps around the village every morning, so... probably. Hashirama, wheezing: That's a lot. TenTen: That's a warmup.

Someone, probably Madara: Okay but that's cheating because you have inhuman stamina from the fox! Kurama, chilling on a tree stump napping: No the fuck she does not. Hashirama: What do you mean she doesn't? Kurama: I don't just leave the faucet running 24/7 Senju, besides, she doesn't need my help to be a ridiculous persistence hunting nightmare monster in this regard. TenTen: Awww, Kurama, you flatterer.

TenTen: I was running 150 laps of the village every morning by the time I was fourteen. Hashirama: Why? TenTen: My teacher was fun.

At least one shitty joke from a stranger about stamina In Bed and TenTen and Tobirama just stare at the person.

Maito Dai would be... maybe a little older than the Sannin, younger than Hiruzen. Solid age for TenTen to take as a student, probably. Very feels-worthy, with the whole Passing the Torch thing that that whole family had going on, and that Gai passed it to his students since he didn't have children of his own, the idea of TenTen taking that shot to make sure she's still part of that... family, for lack of a better term? Even in this strange new world they're making by altering history like that.

And that’s about it.

As per usual, most of this was brainstormed with @firebirdeternal​.