#so at least i have something other than work-related stuff to offer

[nimium-amatrix-ingenii-sui]

@grundyscribbling and @cycas have tagged me in the Last Line Game - thank you! RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence. I'll go with the last fanfic sentence: I suspected that the King had required no urging whatsoever.

That would be ten tags (only if you want to/have the time, of course) @vefanyar @elennare @youhavereachedtheendofpie @starspray @independence1776 @naryaflame @fealiniel @dawnfelagund @autistic-elda and whoever wants to feel tagged!

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I am going FERAL over this imagine:

So basically Bruce brings reader home to be his new daughter/the boys' new sibling but Uh Oh! They now want you carnally and reader is just like "you said you wanted me as a daughter/sibling, wtf is this" and being their platonic darling is better than being shared between them romantically so reader tries to come off as innocent and child/sibling coded by being like "yeah I've never actually kissed or dated anyone before aren't I just so innocent" and the boys are like :)))

So then Dick says you can call him your boyfriend "just to feel it out" and Tim starts blatantly stealing your panties and Jason says he can give you your 1st kiss so you can "practice" with him and Bruce offers to teach you how to touch yourself and (and him) and when you try to walk it back cause the boys are being Freaks they're in their delulu era so eventually you end up tied to the bed with the boys and Bruce drawing straws over who gets to take what 1sts (like 1st date, kiss, virginity, ect).

And Damien is just in the background absolutely SEETHING cause the the boys and Bruce's Horny Time keeps interrupting his Mommy Time with the reader

And reader using Damien as kind of a shield cause what are they going to do, feel you up in front of a CHILD? Like just, "Stay Platonic :))"

Just that kind of pseudo incest makes me Feel Things (*/∀＼*)(///∇///)

I'd love your thoughts/a fic based on this! Ty ❤️

TW: Brief mentions of pseudo incest(y) scenarios/behavior, manipulative tactics, yandere tendencies

(Okay so I’ll answer this with my thoughts for right now.)

I know I primarily write incest(y) related topics for my Game of Thrones/ASOIAF stuff but I have been tempted to/curious about branching it out into some of the other fandoms I write for 👀. (I’ve had a few ideas rolling around in my noggin for a bit if anyone is interested.) So I would be willing to give this a try. I’m down to experiment with some new stuff, within reason of course.

I imagine the Reader being older (probably 19-23), maybe even having been a runaway of sorts or not having a very stable home life, so when they’re given the ‘offer’ to become part of the family they’re looking to fulfill a familial void they’ve never experienced or have forgotten how it’s felt like. I definitely see Bruce and the rest of the boys keeping a very close eye on the Reader before they decide to finally bring them into their family, basically full on stalking them from the moment they caught their attention (you know how the Batfam works). It wouldn’t be a surprise if even before the Reader was with them physically that the boys developed a more carnal desire for them. At first, their intentions were completely platonic, but with all the lengthy observing and information gathering of their supposed-to-be-new-family-member eventually something changed in how they all saw their darling.

I really see the change in their obsession starting with either Dick or Tim first. Especially regarding some accidental or purposeful peeping Tom foolery. I feel like Bruce would be the last to fall victim to the change in direction or at the very least he’s the last one to admit to it. If Damian is younger than I see his obsession staying strictly platonic, but if he were much older than I could see him involving himself to the same depths as his family.

At first, I see things happening subtly. Knowing that at the very least a few of them are already in an obsessive-romantic headspace in regards to their darling before they even physically become part of the family the guys would try to be as welcoming as possible without revealing their true intentions. They don’t want to scare you off right away, they want you to walk into it semi-willingly at least. But the interactions with the Reader would show something else. The lingering touches, the being much closer to you than really necessary, the heated grazes over your clothes here and there that leave you wondering if that actually happened or not. I also kind of like the other members not being fully aware of each other’s change in obsession, everyone giving each other the side eye until it sets in and then all out war of who gets the darling to themself unfolds only to eventually end up with them working together and agreeing to share. That’s when Bruce’s heel-turn is revealed.

Once things get truly amped up, the interactions with the Reader really begin to escalate. The boys would walk around shirtless more often, all of them trying to get their darling to look at them, to really look at them. Eventually, it’s not just them being shitless but either them in nothing but their underwear or nothing at all. They start out as accidents but eventually it’s pretty loud and clear that the guys want you to see them, all of them, to even touch them and feel them to your hearts content. But thats not all, of course it’s not. The touching of their darling only gets all the more intense, to the point that you know damn well that they’re touching you and they want to leave you wanting for more. So much more. The Reader’s innocence and lack of experience would only spur them on even more. They absolutely thrive off of it. They all want to be your first, your first everything. There will be a lot of secret ‘lessons’ being given behind closed doors and telling of “Don’t tell Batdaddy or he’ll get real mad.” “Don’t let Jay know, or he’ll want to punish you for not doing this with him.” “Let this be our secret, (Name). Something just for you and me.” “Can’t tell anyone about this or they’ll ruin it for the both of us.” And they only get even worse from there.

I can’t see Alfred being okay with this in any situation, whatsoever. I think he especially would feel like Bruce and the other boys completely took advantage of the Reader and he would try his best to aid them in trying to keep up with the platonic intention of this entire fiasco. He would be a total cockblock, even going as far as helping Damian in his cockblocking endeavors. Alfred’s intention would be to play both sides so he knows how to help the Reader when it comes to Bruce and the others but it wouldn’t take too long for them to figure out that Alfred is working against them. Like, Alfred was all for the familial-platonic obsession but when things started getting more romantic he was ready to shut that shit down ASAP. You can’t tell me he hasn’t, at least a few times, locked Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim out of the house to give the Reader some peace and give Damian his much deserved allotted time with them.

Speaking of Damian, he is a menace (as per usual) but even more so than normal. He really doesn’t take too well to the new direction of his father’s and brothers’ obsession for the Reader. He thinks it’s pretty messed up but he sincerely likes and cares about the Reader and he wants them to stay, he wants them to continue being a part of the family forever so he’ll let some things slide. Some. He even may be willing to look the other way when it eventually comes to Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim baby-trapping the Reader if it means this whole ‘family’ thing becomes set in stone with the arrival of a new ‘sibling’. But for the most part, at least early on, Damian would be a huge pain in the ass for the other family members. He feels like he needs to step in to save his darling from the others and their ulterior motives. He’s all his parental/older sibling figure needs, at least at that point. He may even try to runaway with them to keep them safe from the others. Hell, he may even get his mother involved if he was desperate enough, especially if he saw the Reader as a parental figure. Or maybe even another Justice League member to either adopt him and the Reader so that he could have that family experience he was promised with the Reader. Or he would be completely content just living the rest of his life just him and the Reader, platonically of course.

It would either take Bruce or Dick to have a talk with Damian to get him to come to some agreement to allow them to continue with what they’re doing in regards to the Reader. I think Dick would get away with manipulating Damian much better than Bruce could. I think Damian would have some opinions about his father especially throughout this whole situation. Especially since I see Damian being very observant of how Dick, Jason and Tim are behaving towards the Reader early on and picking up on the fuckery taking place, even going as far as telling Bruce about it under the belief his father would be on his side (not ever fathoming the idea of his father also doing similar things to the Reader without him ever knowing). As far as Damian knew his father was completely platonic towards the Reader, as a ‘father’ should be. Right? So understandably Damian feels not only betrayed but also disgusted when he finds out that his father was and still is taking part in, acting in a similarly depraved fashion as the others.

Eventually, I could see them coming together and being one big ‘happy’ family. But it sure as hell comes at a price. (Usually the Reader’s freedom and sense of self outside of the obsession they’ve been dragged into, to drown in alongside their yandere(s).)

[cannibalbuffe]

hi! I've honestly been craving some qpr headcanons with Alastor as someone who's also aroace! The concept piques my curiosity so much considering most of the stuff with him is purely romantic (no offense to those writers, I just wanna see more qpr stuff! :])

Of course! But do forgive me, annon, I got so carried away with this 😅. I just really like Alastor a lot.

I ended up writing some backstory to your relationship first, but I highlighted the start of the proper qpr headcanons if you feel like skipping that.

Obligatory I'm sorry if this is ooc, I'm still getting used to writing about these characters. This is also all based on my own perception of him.

(Also, I am aware that qprs are very different from one another and there is no single mold for a qpr, I'm just going off of what I think it would be like with Alastor.)

Uhh, I also finished this at 1 AM, so forgive any mistakes. And I'm pretty sure I changed the verb conjugations(? Is this how you say that in English?) from present to past at some point. Sorry. Enough with the A/Ns now. Hope you enjoy!

Alastor queerplatonic relationship headcanons

(gender neutral reader, Alastor x reader)

‼️Trigger-warning‼️: mentions of cannibalism (not graphic), a single mention of tongue-kissing and making out (spoiler: he doesn't want either of those things in this work.) Usage of the word queer, but not as a slur. Alastor is a grandpa and you have to explain LGBTQ+ stuff to him, but he gets it.

› At first, before you were close, it's likely that he didn't see you as an equal.

› Truly, in his eyes, it seems not really is his equal. He is the most powerful overlord in hell and he knows it.

› Unless you are someone he holds in high regard (and this is mostly based on vibes, barely anything to do with power, as we can see by how he is with Lucifer of all people) before your first meeting, like Zestial, you won't be on equal footing at first.

› You only really start getting close when his perception of you shifts.

› You respect his boundaries, you are interesting, you and him share quite a few interests (or not really, but you're at least interested in hearing about his), and you're, surprisingly, pretty wise and mature.

› And caring. I personally believe he would be drawn to that in a way that he may not even understand fully- or realize it at all.

› Still, the point is. He respects you, and you respect him.

› (And not in the way some others do, where they're only "respectful" out of fear. You would act like this regardless of his power.)

› This, by the way, is important. You don't treat him like a superior, but as an equal.

› You'd think someone like him would love to be treated like a superior, and it's true. He very much does.

› But he has to admit to himself that it does feel nice whenever someone isn't shaking in their boots and can hold really good conversations with him while still not being pushy, annoying or just generally disrespectful.

› Anyways.

› Ever since you became friends (which took long), one could say, you just kept becoming closer and closer.

› You were the first one to be vulnerable with him, of course. It happened on accident, but you trusted him enough for that.

› You were also the first one to share any more intimate information with him. Something you wouldn't tell just anyone.

› Between this, your conversations, and maybe even helping each other around (honestly, he probably helps you more than you do him, but you always offer it and always in a sweet way, never condescending, and he appreciates that.)

› He eventually felt more comfortable sharing personal things with you too.

› (He may have distanced himself a bit when he realized this, but it was short-lived. You can't be without each other for so long, and you were pretty upset at his suddenly withdrawal. You may not have mentioned it to him, but he could tell, and as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt him to see you sad because of him.)

› This marks the beginning of the path toward your queerplatonic relationship.

› I mean, you didn't initially label it as such, but it definitely started there.

› Surprisingly, I feel like the first one to ever do any sort of affectionate gesture towards the other was him.

› You knew he didn't like to be touched, so you didn't.

› But! He just started getting more and more comfortable with touching you. At first it was hands on your shoulders, or putting his arm over them.

› I can even see a head pat or two, which he probably passed off as some sort of joke the first few times, but, if you liked them so much, just became a thing he does to you.

› And then one day you, completely absent-mindedly, intertwined your arm with his while walking around.

› When you noticed you had done it and he hadn't said anything, you questioned him about it.

› "Alastor, I'm sorry I didn't ask... is this alright?"

› "This?... Oh, you mean the arms? Ah, dear, don't worry, if it weren't I would have simply told you so!"

› From them on you only got more and more physically affectionate with each other. At first you would usually be the one to start it, but eventually you were both shockingly equal in doing so.

› (You still would always ask if you could touch him beforehand, but after a while he just gave you a free-pass.)

› Not a lot in public, though. Mostly just hand holding, or intertwining arms (if in public, that is.)

› Alastor also was so protective of you. You were the person he treasured most, after all.

› Well, demon.

› Even if you told him you were going to be okay, he would watch out nonetheless. He couldn't afford to lose you, not when he's never trusted and cared for a person this much.

› You two also cuddle a lot. You were the first one to ask, as usual, but now both of you feel weird sleeping alone.

› Alastor loves being the big spoon, if you're doing that.

› But he is also quite fond of occasionally being the little spoon, although he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.

› A hobby you two do together is cooking. Cooking with Alastor is fun... especially if you're okay with cannibalism.

› But if you don't like that, he won't insist, of course.

› He's pretty good at cooking, though! If you're also good at it, then great. If not, he'll tease you about it (in a friendly way), but still teach you.

› On teasing, he teases you quite a bit, but never in a mean way. If you don't mind, of course.

› You also may tease him occasionally, but he doesn't appreciate you teasing him in public.

› The two of you also have a good amount of inside jokes that probably confuse the hell out of the others.

› Kissing... well. I don't really see Alastor as the type who would enjoy kissing on the lips too much.

› Tongue is out of question for him, as well as any sort of making out, but otherwise... if you like it, he can do that for you.

› He might actually like a peck or two. An acquired taste for him. Don't overdo it, though.

› Of course, him being from the 1930s and not very familiar with anything LGBTQ+ related, he would, at first, be somewhat confused by the request.

› You would probably have to explain to him that nothing is inherently romantic, especially not if you don't want it to be.

› "A kiss on the lips? Well... we aren't courting, Y/n."

› "We can put our own meanings to things, though. Would you like this kiss to be romantic?"

› "Definitely not!"

› "Well, me neither. So it's not!"

› "... That is very sound logic! I can't believe I've never thought of this myself."

› Kisses on the rest of the face are something else, though. He does enjoy it whenever you kiss him on the cheek. He himself might occasionally kiss you on the forehead.

› But overall I don't think he's big on kissing.

› If you want to really solidify that you're in a queerplatonic relationship you'd also have to explain what that means to him, sorry.

› Again, he's old and not up to date with things.

› Thankfully he understands things easily.

› "I see... I suppose we do have quite the queer relationship, don't we? And it is certainly platonic. I don't see why not!"

› Going back to vulnerability. It will never feel fully natural for him to just be vulnerable with you — or anyone else, for the matter.

› (In case you couldn't tell, he's using the word queer as meaning odd (and doing a little pun. You know. Because it's a. Queerplatonic relationship. Queer. Hehehehe), as it defies the norm of what a platonic relationship usually looks like, despite being one.)

› But you know him well enough at this point to recognize whenever there's something going on with him.

› And if you show concern and give him enough time he will share whatever it is with you.

› If it's not anything too big he might even reach out to you first.

› He can also read you like a book and gives surprisingly good advice, and is also pretty good at comforting you.

› You are the only person allowed at his studio while he's live on the radio. You usually read as he speaks in the background, his voice is very relaxing. He enjoys having you around.

› He's also particularly gentlemanly to you, more than to the others. When you're with him you never have to open a single door yourself, for one. If it's raining, he'll hold the umbrella for the two of you. When walking together on the sidewalk, he's always on the side closest to the street instead of you.

› You two often go out for dinner. If you also fancy some cannibalism, he will definitely show you his favorite restaurants around. If not he will just pick the best non-cannibal places (but you know those are not his favorites, haha.)

› He just cares about you a lot, even if it took him long to admit (it may have seemed fast-paced during this, but Alastor is someone who really takes long to get close to.)

› And you care about him lot too!

› (And you're probably never going to be in a life-threatening situation again, at least not at the hands of most demons. Who would ever want trouble with Alastor?)

[qqueenofhades]

Hello! This is kind of a weird ask, I'm sorry to bother you, but seeing as you're a very intelligent studied historian that I deeply respect, I was hoping you could offer some advice? Or like, things i could read? Lately, i feel like my critical thinking skills are emaciated and its scaring the shit out of me. I feel very slow and like I'm constantly missing important info in relation to news/history/social activism stuff. Thats so vague, sorry, but like any tips on how i can do better?

Aha, thank you. There was recently a good critical-thinking infograph on my dash, so obviously I thought I remembered who reblogged it and checked their blog, it wasn't them, thought it was someone else, checked their blog, it also wasn't them, and now I can't find it to link to. Alas. But I will try to sum up its main points and add a few of my own. I'm glad you're taking the initiative to work on this for yourself, and I will add that while it can seem difficult and overwhelming to sort through the mass of information, especially often-false, deliberately misleading, or otherwise bad information, there are a few tips to help you make some headway, and it's a skill that like any other skill, gets easier with practice. So yes.

The first and most general rule of thumb I would advise is the same thing that IT/computer people tell you about scam emails. If something is written in a way that induces urgency, panic, the feeling that you need to do something RIGHT NOW, or other guilt-tripping or anxiety-inducing language, it is -- to say the least -- questionable. This goes double if it's from anonymous unsourced accounts on social media, is topically or thematically related to a major crisis, or anything else. The intent is to create a panic response in you that overrides your critical faculties, your desire to do some basic Googling or double-checking or independent verification of its claims, and makes you think that you have to SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE NOW or you are personally and morally a bad person. Unfortunately, the world is complicated, issues and responses are complicated, and anyone insisting that there is Only One Solution and it's conveniently the one they're peddling should not be trusted. We used to laugh at parents and grandparents for naively forwarding or responding to obviously scam emails, but now young people are doing the exact same thing by blasting people with completely sourceless social media tweets, clips, and other manipulative BS that is intended to appeal to an emotional gut rather than an intellectual response. When you panic or feel negative emotions (anger, fear, grief, etc) you're more likely to act on something or share questionable information without thinking.

Likewise, you do have basic Internet literacy tools at your disposal. You can just throw a few keywords into Google or Wikipedia and see what comes up. Is any major news organization reporting on this? Is it obviously verifiable as a fake (see the disaster pictures of sharks swimming on highways that get shared after every hurricane)? Can you right-click, perform a reverse image search, and see if this is, for example, a picture from an unrelated war ten years ago instead of an up-to-date image of the current conflict? Especially with the ongoing Israel/Palestine imbroglio, we have people sharing propaganda (particularly Hamas propaganda) BY THE BUCKETLOAD and masquerading it as legitimate news organizations (tip: Quds News Network is literally the Hamas channel). This includes other scuzzy dirtbag-left websites like Grayzone and The Intercept, which often have implicit or explicit links to Russian-funded disinformation campaigns and other demoralizing or disrupting fake news that is deliberately designed to turn young left-leaning Westerners against the Democrats and other liberal political parties, which enables the electoral victory of the fascist far-right and feeds Putin's geopolitical and military aims. Likewise, half of our problems would be solved if tankies weren't so eager to gulp down and propagate anything "anti-Western" and thus amplify the Russian disinformation machine in a way even the Russians themselves sometimes struggle to do, but yeah. That relates to both Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Palestine.

Basically: TikTok, Twitter/X, Tumblr itself, and other platforms are absolutely RIFE with misinformation, and this is due partly to ownership (the Chinese government and Elon Fucking Musk have literally no goddamn reason whatsoever to build an unbiased algorithm, and have been repeatedly proven to be boosting bullshit that supports their particular worldviews) and partly due to the way in which the young Western left has paralyzed itself into hypocritical moral absolutes and pseudo-revolutionary ideology (which is only against the West itself and doesn't think that the rest of the world has agency to act or think for itself outside the West's influence, They Are Very Smart and Anti-Colonialist!) A lot of "information" in left-leaning social media spaces is therefore tainted by this perspective and often relies on flat-out, brazen, easily disprovable lies (like the popular Twitter account insisting that Biden could literally just overturn the Supreme Court if he really wanted to). Not all misinformation is that easy to spot, but with a severe lack of political, historical, civic, or social education (since it's become so polarized and school districts generally steer away from it or teach the watered-down version for fear of being attacked by Moms for Liberty or similar), it is quickly and easily passed along by people wanting trite and simplistic solutions for complex problems or who think the extent of social justice is posting the Right Opinions on social media.

As I said above, everything in the world is complicated and has multiple factors, different influences, possible solutions, involved actors, and external and internal causes. For the most part, if you're encountering anything that insists there's only one shiningly righteous answer (which conveniently is the one All Good and Moral People support!) and the other side is utterly and even demonically in the wrong, that is something that immediately needs a closer look and healthy skepticism. How was this situation created? Who has an interest in either maintaining the status quo, discouraging any change, or insisting that there's only one way to engage with/think about this issue? Who is being harmed and who is being helped by this rhetoric, including and especially when you yourself are encouraged to immediately spread it without criticism or cross-checking? Does it rely on obvious lies, ideological misinformation, or something designed to make you feel the aforementioned negative emotions? Is it independently corroborated? Where is it sourced from? When you put the author's name into Google, what comes up?

Also, I think it's important to add that as a result, it's simply not possible to distill complicated information into a few bite-sized and easily digestible social media chunks. If something is difficult to understand, that means you probably need to spend more time reading about it and encountering diverse perspectives, and that is research and work that has to take place primarily not on social media. You can ask for help and resources (such as you're doing right now, which I think is great!), but you can't use it as your chief or only source of information. You can and should obviously be aware of the limitations and biases of traditional media, but often that has turned into the conspiracy-theory "they never report on what's REALLY GOING ON, the only information you can trust is random anonymous social media accounts managed by God knows who." Traditional media, for better or worse, does have certain evidentiary standards, photographing, sourcing, and verifying requirements, and other ways to confirm that what they're writing about actually has some correspondence with reality. Yes, you need to be skeptical, but you can also trust that some of the initial legwork of verification has been done for you, and you can then move to more nuanced review, such as wording, presentation of perspective, who they're interviewing, any journalistic assumptions, any organizational shortcomings, etc.

Once again: there is a shit-ton of stuff out there, it is hard to instinctively know or understand how to engage with it, and it's okay if you don't automatically "get" everything you read. That's where the principle of actually taking the time to be informed comes in, and why you have to firmly divorce yourself from the notion that being socially aware or informed means just instantly posting or sharing on social media about the crisis of the week, especially if you didn't know anything about it beforehand and are just relying on the Leftist Groupthink to tell you how you should be reacting. Because things are complicated and dangerous, they take more effort to unpick than just instantly sharing a meme or random Twitter video or whatever. If you do in fact want to talk about these things constructively, and not just because you feel like you're peer-pressured into doing so and performing the Correct Opinions, then you will in fact need to spend non-social-media time and effort in learning about them.

If you're at a university, there are often subject catalogues, reference librarians, and other built-in tools that are there for you to use and which you SHOULD use (that's your tuition money, after all). That can help you identify trustworthy information sources and research best practices, and as you do that more often, it will help you have more of a feel for things when you encounter them in the wild. It's not easy at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes more so, and will make you more confident in your own judgments, beliefs, and values. That way when you encounter something that you KNOW is wrong, you won't be automatically pressured to share it just to fit in, because you will be able to tell yourself what the problems are.

Good luck!

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 1: OF BILL’S POWERS AND DIMENSIONS (1/2)

FINALLY.

It took me an eternity to finish this post. And not just because I have 32 pages of notes about this goddamn book, but also:

life in general

summer in specific

if I’m supposed to relax, then why do I have so much stuff to do

the goddamn thisisnotawebsitedotcom that I stupidly thought was just a simple website like it was for Lost Legends, ahah how big could it ever be. OH BOY HOW WRONG I WAS WHY DO I KEEP UNDERESTIMATING ALEX HIRSCH WHY

And so here we are, with the first post about this big topic I wanted to talk about. I know that any additional info coming from thisisnotawebsitedotcom can add/disprove my points, but in that case, I’ll just write one more post. I already wrote more posts than I originally planned, so writing a few more isn’t such a huge difference by now.

So, let’s start by analyzing a little closer how Bill’s powers work, how they are related to dimensions and let’s ask ourselves some more questions. Because of course there are still questions: it wouldn’t be Gravity Falls, if there were no mysteries left.

_________________

Obligatory disclaimer

I will talk about the entire book and make spoilers

I will mention all codes (thanks to the Gravity Falls wiki for being so efficient)

I will use any sort of language, but hey, if you have this book I suppose you won’t be shocked by a couple of swear words

I will also mention some of the info available until now on thisisnotawebsitedotcom - or at least the ones I found HERE

And now, let’s start.

_____________________

“Dimensional powers”

In the “Reality is an Illusion” in TBOB page, Bill says two important things:

Reality is made of code and madness and microscopic “legos”

Everything big is made of something small and the small stuff can be manipulated

This is a nice reference to the string theory. To put it very VERY simply, this theory suggests that the smallest elements at the foundation of everything are called strings. Strings are incredibly smaller than quarks and, depending on how they vibrate, they can make everything in the universe.

Related to this theory there’s also the M-Theory: to put it even more simply, the strings are not all similar, one-dimensional elements, but they vary depending on how many dimensions they contain, from one to eleven. (Beware: this is an oversimplified explanation. For more details, please check the experts’ ones)

Why those theories are important? Because I think they may offer us an explanation of how Bill’s powers work.

From all I saw in the series and until now, it looks like Bill’s powers are all related to dimensions. If there is a dimension of some kind, Bill can enter, alter or influence it. So if the entire reality and everything in the universe (living beings included) is made of strings and strings have dimensions, than this explains how why Bill was able to:

enter and modify other dimensions (including Earth during Weirdmageddon)

modify other living beings

possess other creatures

see the Third Dimension while he was in the Second

This also may explain the ciphervoyance: if Bill can see the third dimension, then he can also see all other possibilities - and if these possibilities are higher dimensions, then he can see them too.

And yes, this explains pyrokinesis too: if Bill can look into other dimensions and modify them, why couldn’t he modify the strings of one dimension enough to “start fires with his brain”?

_____________________

But what about dreams?

Dreams should be different, right? How can Bill look into them? Dreams are not a dimensions, right?

Please, allow me to introduce you to this part from Flatland: the Sphere is talking to A Square about something very specific:

"For I, who see all things, discerned last night the phantasmal vision of Lineland written upon your brain."

It looks like the Sphere has been able to see inside A Square’s dream. A 3D creature has been able to look into a 2D creature’s dreams.

Since Bill’s entire story is heavily influenced by Flatland (we will talk about it extensively in the next series of posts, don’t worry), I think this supports the theory that Bill’s powers are “dimensional” indeed and that dreams are another dimension entirely. That’s why Bill can enter them and possess/read other people’s minds: it’s because that’s an entirely different dimension he can look at, enter and modify.

And, as we saw from the string and the M-theory, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a higher or lower dimension: Bill can still look at, access and modify it.

And if you’re not convinced yet, consider that Bill talked about the mindscape as a “liminal basement”. So it’s a sort of “bridge” between dimensions - or a “bridge dimension” that connects the unconscious to the conscious. So if he can enter dimensions, there’s no reason he can’t enter dimensional bridges.

_____________________

Powers that would “eat you alive”

All of this seems pretty cool and fun, doesn’t it? We saw Bill using these powers to wreak havoc at O’Sadleys after his breakup with Ford, to switch the function of every hole in Preston Northwest’s face, and to alter reality during Weirdmageddon.

But we also saw him speeding up Ford’s mind when it’s sluggish, calm him down when he’s anxious and rewiring his optical never to see a new color.

And that was exciting, because that’s what I wanted to see. How’s possible that this guy could just enter someone else’s mind and possess it, but not mess in any way with the delicate, complex system of human brains? Humans have a lot of areas and neurons and everything: it’s a perfectly complicated, complex mechanism. Why would Bill miss the chance to do something inside it?

And then, Bill showed Ford a speck of what he’s really capable of:

And that… ooho yes, that’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. Those are real threats. Rewiring the optical nerve again, not to help, but to entirely alter your perception of reality. Play a tone louder and louder until it drives you insane. Burn neurons, delete memories, push enough switches to make you forget your own name. That’s the fucked up stuff I wanted from Bill! That’s the stuff that makes me think he’s right, when he said the monster “would eat you alive, Sixer”.

Even more messed up, when the next page he said “Oh, those were just practical jokes”. 200% messed up, I love this little psycho, he deserves to burn everything and attend more therapy.

_____________________

The questions of how

So let’s recap: Bill is a two-dimensional living creature who has dimensional powers. He can look at, alter and destroy all kinds of dimensions - no matter how big (universes) or small (strings) they are.

Now the rightful question is: how the fuck did he get all these powers? Is this something usual, for 2D creatures to have such godly powers? Of course not, considering no one in Bill’s home dimension was able to do/see what he could.

At this point of my reasoning, I also asked myself: how did he manage to not just look into a dimension but also alter it? Looking into is something, altering is different…

But then, I though about myself. I am a three-dimensional living being. I can look into a 2D world and I can alter it too. I can destroy a flat surface. I can add things inside it. I can intersect it with my shape. I can do a lot of stuff to it. I cannot live inside it like a two-dimensional being, but I can modify it.

So can Bill. He can look and modify other realities - but he can also enter them. Something I, a 3D being, cannot do.

In addition to that, consider that since I am 3D, I cannot enter, see or alter the 4D world. I can figure out a hypercube and try to wrap my head around its shape and how it’s supposed to work, but I cannot actually see the fourth dimension and all higher ones.

Bill, on the other hand, can see any dimension, no matter how high or small it is. He can see them all, alter them all and enter them all.

How? How can a 2D creature do it?

_____________________

The lack of a physical form

In the “MY WEAKNESSES” section in TBOB, Bill says something about not having a physical form.

Even in the show, Bill talked about not having a physical form: in fact, as soon as he enters Earth to start the Weirdmageddon, the first thing he does is get a physical form.

That implies he didn’t have a physical form before. But he was also living in the Nightmare Realm, which is “a space between spaces”, a place with no consistent laws “physical or judicial”, and a place in which the realms of physics and reality make no sense. So yes, even a being without a physical form can live inside it.

And even in this book, Bill often talks about himself as “an idea” that never dies. He sees himself closer to a concept, than an ordinary, living being. Keep that in mind for now, we’ll use it for later.

However, now we can ask ourselves another thing: fine, Bill was an idea/had no physical form when he lived in the Nightmare Realm. But what about before that? What happened before the Nightmare Realm?

Before that, Bill destroyed his home dimension.

_____________________

In conclusion... for now

I know, it’s evil to end a post like this but stay tuned, because the next one will have the biggest Theory That Might Be Wrong I developed until now.

We've just started.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[mae-lou-ron]

A Little Kindness, pt. 1

Summary: It’s been a few months since Crosshair and his family returned from Tantiss for the last time. Settling into civilian life hasn’t been easy, but one Pabu resident shows Crosshair some kindness that makes him want to try.

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!reader

Rating: T? G? I still don’t know how these things work okay?

Tags/TWs: social anxiety/awkwardness, internal berating, grumpy soft crosshair dealing with ptsd-related stuff but nothing specific, mentions of injuries treated but nothing specific, fluffyish, fanon typical swearing, reader was written as fem (she/her) but the only description so far is that she has hair and maybe wears perfume.

WC: 2,400ish

A/N: thank you to everyone who read A Friend Indeed. I really enjoyed writing the brotherly dynamic between Crosshair and Wrecker in that one. It was honestly an outlet for me to process some of my own stuff, and I appreciate all the encouragement and kind comments. I’m continuing Crosshair’s journey in learning how to heal and even maybe enjoy that Pabu life a little. I’m thinking I’ll make a little anthology series of these because I’ve got a lot of Crosshair fluff cooking up in this goblin lair of a brain. Part 2 to currently underway.

A song I listened to quite a bit while writing this was State of the Art by Incubus.

Proofread by me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crosshair strode down the sandy path, his eyes periodically scanning the star-studded sky. He inhaled the night air, surprisingly crisp for the island now that the sun had set, giving way for the moon to rise. Its blue-tinted glow bathed the island, ushering in the evening sounds that helped quiet his overactive mind. He would often walk these paths at night, aiming for nowhere in particular, just letting his feet decide where he would go.

As he turned down the path that led to the compound of small homes shared with his family, he heard their voices spilling from open windows. They sounded upbeat and cheerful. The sing-song lilt of Omega's voice suggested someone else was there—a visitor. Crosshair inwardly cringed. Still new to civilian life, he wasn't overly fond of visitors—especially those who showed up unannounced, regardless of their self-proclaimed important reasons.

In situations like this, he couldn't help but notice how his siblings were adapting to life on Pabu much more easily than he was. People had a tendency to baffle him. But the others, Wrecker and Omega especially, seemed to really enjoy getting to know anyone and everyone. As Crosshair got closer, he recognized a voice in the mix of conversation, which nearly made him stop in his tracks.

He exhaled softly, a flush creeping up his neck. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears when he heard your laughter ring out. Why does it have to be her? The thought of walking past the compound and continuing down the hill to the beach was very tempting. He wasn't in the mood for other people right now, least of all you.

It definitely had absolutely nothing to do at all with the fact that he was always putting his foot in his mouth when you were around. You set him on edge like no one he'd met before, though not necessarily in a bad way. He quite liked you actually, but you'd probably never know it from his behavior.

Not to mention your last encounter on his walk a few nights ago. When you called to him from your porch, asking for his help with something out of your reach. He froze, thoughts swirling, and all he could manage to do was scowl despite his desire to assist. He hesitated, realizing it was a task you could likely manage yourself. But you asked, and the look in your eyes had his feet leaving the path and taking the small steps to your patio where you stood on a chair. Though you appeared steady, his hand instinctively hovered near the middle of your back. Maintaining his usual stern expression, he held the awning in place while you secured it.

You thanked him with a warm smile, and without thinking he offered you his arm as you stepped down. You accepted with another gentle smile, your hand resting lightly on his forearm, the warmth from your touch lingering even after you let go. You took a step backwards to admire your work. "That should do," you murmured before turning your attention back to him. "It might be a bit stormy tonight," you added, crossing you arms over your chest. You both glanced up at the clouds that had started filtering into the sky on the horizon. The bright moon made it easy to see them rolling across the water.

"Are you warm enough?" you asked, looking up at him and rubbing your arm as the wind picked up. "I've got some extra tunics or ponchos somewhere in here, if you'd like one… Oh, do you like tea? I just put some on…." You rambled, taking another step back towards your door, offering a welcoming smile. The breeze swirled again and carried the scent of your hair—or perhaps perfume—to Crosshair, and he felt drawn to accept your offer. Yet his apprehension rose, and his "no, thanks" came out quick and terse. He couldn't even recall if you said anything after he retreated, berating himself as he walked away. Before your house disappeared from view, he glanced back over his shoulder, only to find you'd already gone inside, leaving him with another twinge of regret.

But you were here now, and he couldn't really get to his part of their home without being at least noticed by Hunter. Kriff. He swore inwardly and steeled himself for the onslaught of attention that would be cast his way as soon as he crossed the threshold.

"Crosshair! You're back!" Omega rushed over as he appeared in the doorway. His sister beamed up at him, her cheeks flushed and eyes shining with excitement. "How was your walk?"

“It’s too close to bedtime to be getting all wound up, don’t you think?” he said to his sister and glanced at you, who was regarding him warily. Omega rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him fully into room.

“Nope! But look what we just got!” she smiled, pointing to the table in the near center. You were there standing next to Wrecker with an amused look on your face. Crosshair scowled, gesturing to the pile of neatly folded ponchos on the table before them, one for each of them. "What do we need these for?" He chided himself mentally the moment the words made it past his lips.

"Duh, because it gets cold at night here during some parts of the rotation," Wrecker said matter-of-factly, as if it wasn't something he had just learned a few minutes ago himself. He nudged you gently with his elbow, which made you blush slightly. The exchange made Crosshair's eye twitch. What was wrong with him? He wasn't exactly proud of how your previous encounters had gone, and this one wasn't looking like it would be all that great either, but seeing you react to Wrecker like that… he liked that even less.

"It really does… I… didn't have a whole lot when I came here, but Lyanna brought me a couple of these not too long after. Total lifesaver," you beamed at Omega who was excitedly unfolding one to throw over her head. It had hues of blue and brown fibers threaded together. "They make them right here on the island. It might be a little big on you now but you'll grow into it," you grinned at the young girl as you adjusted the seams at her shoulders, letting the garment fall into place.

"I really like it," Omega smiled, giving a little twirl that made the fabric fan out around her. "Thank you," she added warmly before wrapping one of her arms around you in a half hug.

"Anytime, kiddo," you smiled down at Omega, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before she turned to Wrecker to show him. When you looked up, Crosshair was regarding you with that severe look on his face, like it was actually causing him physical pain to be in your presence. You decided to take your leave, sensing the mood had shifted and not wanting to overstay your welcome.

"Well, I'll leave you all to it, then. I've got an early start tomorrow anyway," you said, your voice light and kind. Their words of thanks met your ears as you retreated towards the door, causing your lips to quirk up in a smile as you walked by Crosshair. However, he swore the spark he saw in your eyes when he first entered the room had dimmed a little. Good job, di'kut.

Crosshair opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but no words came, instead he just gave you a tense nod of his head before looking at the floor.

"Goodnight, everyone," you said softly before closing the door behind you with a gentle click.

“Way to kill the fun, Crosshair,” Wrecker teased after a long moment, roughing his brother’s shoulder as he walked past him into the kitchen, shooting a wink at Omega.

A heavy silence settled over the room. Without looking up, Crosshair knew Omega and Hunter were staring at him, their arms undoubtedly crossed and their faces wearing that annoyingly stern expression. Great. It meant they were about to gang up on him.

"Crosshair..." Omega said with a gentle reproach only she could get away with. He still hated it, though. "The people here are kind. She's just trying to help us feel at home. She understands what it's like, remember?”

Crosshair set his jaw, struggling to untangle the swirl of self-doubt and self-deprecation in his mind. "I know that," he said softly, fully aware that you, too, had sought refuge on Pabu to escape the Empire not all that long ago.

"I also think she likes you,” Omega whispered conspiratorially. “Like actually likes you…"

"I can't imagine why…" Hunter muttered, leaning into the doorframe. Crosshair narrowed his eyes at him in return, taking a wooden pick from his pocket and placing it delicately between his teeth. “You act like she’s a thermal detonator or something,” Hunter rumbled, smirking.

Omega rolled her eyes and glared at Hunter before turning back to Crosshair, whose expression only continued to sour the longer he was being put on the spot. "Don't listen to him," Omega insisted, but Hunter's words gnawed at the part of Crosshair's mind that had already questioned the same thing. Yet, Omega saw through his trademark scowl, regarding him with affection and gentle reproach.

Crosshair sighed, eyes softening as they returned to Omega. He still couldn't pinpoint the exact moment this kid had wrapped him around her finger, but glancing at Hunter's face, he knew his brother shared the same thought. Crosshair rubbed the back of his neck, shifting his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other. Hunter's eyes simply darted between the two of them—no words were necessary.

After a long pause, Crosshair huffed, "Fine—I'll… go talk to her." He winced at the thought. "What do I even say?" he said to the room, his jaw tight, shoulders slumping slightly at the discomforting thought.

"Well—I think you might like her too, Crosshair…" Omega offered gently, "…so maybe start with something simple like 'thank you for the new clothes' or 'I'm sorry for being such a cold wet blanke—'" Hunter coughed to interrupt her, and his chuckling.

"Going," Crosshair held his arms up in surrender, slinking towards the door you had just exited a few moments ago.

"Cross," Hunter said as he followed him to the door, handing him a dark green one from the pile. Silent communication passed between the brothers. Crosshair eventually nodded and slipped the soft material over his head, adjusting it to drape evenly over his shoulders.

It was pretty comfortable, he had to admit.

The scents Crosshair had grown to associate with you still lingered on the fabric—warm and spicy but soft with a hint of something like chamomile. He took a deep breath, allowing it to hang on the end of his senses, pulling up fleeting images of you in his mind that gave him a strange fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

You were one of the first people here to show him genuine kindness. A series of gestures from you that had actually quite startled him at the time.

He could still recall every detail of that first encounter months ago. The landing pad on Pabu bustled with medically inclined residents and clone troopers as they returned from Tantiss. Your welcoming smile and guarded eyes greeted him as you offered your arm to help him onto an awaiting cot; he didn't take it, but you held it there nonetheless. Panic suddenly rose in his throat at losing sight of his siblings, but it subsided when he spotted Omega and Emerie tending to Wrecker nearby—who was indeed badly injured. Only after Echo lowered Hunter into the adjacent cot did Crosshair warily allow you to examine his injuries. You seemed to understand his hesitance, asked for his name, told him yours, carefully explaining each step and always seeking his permission before proceeding—a gesture that was both deeply appreciated and deeply unfamiliar to him.

Since then, he'd been struggling to find a way to thank you. Every time he tried, the words caught in his throat—nothing he could think of seemed adequate enough to express his gratitude. Parsing through the complexity of his feelings often made it difficult for him to speak. He found himself caught between wanting to open up and his instinct to maintain distance. Crosshair knew he needed to find a way to bridge this gap, but he had no idea how. And the idea of being hit with any sort of rejection from you also gnawed at him.

"You look great," Omega grinned up at him, shaking him from his thoughts. Hunter gave him an encouraging clap on the shoulder before pushing Crosshair back into the crisp evening air.

The air was more comfortable now with the added layer. The gentle breeze that wove its way through the streets and staircases gently tugged on the fabric as he walked. Looking at it more closely, it was different shades of green, and like Omega's, it was woven into a pattern that blurred one color into the next. He trudged the path to your neighborhood—lost in thought, wracking his brain for what he was going to say.

But when he arrived, the house was dark—it seemed you weren’t home.

Crosshair hesitated, contemplating his options. He brought his hand to the door but decided against knocking. He considered leaving a note but dismissed the idea quickly, as he had nothing to write with. He had no idea what he'd put down anyway. With a frustrated sigh, he turned and began walking aimlessly down the winding path.

Reluctant to return home immediately, Crosshair continued to where the houses grew sparse, eventually discovering sprawling patches of wildflowers. He vaulted over a crumbling stone wall and gathered a handful of blooms in various types and colors. As he walked back, he bundled the vibrant flowers as best he could, using his teeth and a loose thread from the poncho's hem. Upon returning to your door, he gently placed the makeshift bouquet on the chair you'd climbed onto the other night.

As he took a few steps back, he could only hope this small gesture might convey his intent better than any fumbling words he could muster right now. With a quiet hum, he finally turned and walked back towards home. Maybe he'd figure out what to say by the time he saw you again.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Ok, LISTEN. I'm about half way through seven minuets in heaven pt.2, but because I'm working on it while watching season 2, I got SatoSugu on my mind. so...

Now Presenting...

A little SatoSugu themed supplementary material.

Ok, so let's start standard 

Suguru is a psychology major with a minor in musical performance 

Satoru is a theoretical physics major with no minor because "ew, minors."

Suguru joined the ABO frat because fraternity housing is wayyy fucking cheaper than living in the dorms. Plus, easy access to booze.

Gojo did it for the memes and cause his best friend was joining. 

Suguru is for sure an alcoholic and in denial about it

Gojo smoked weed once and won't shut up about it. He does take a weak ass edible every once in awhile to sleep though.

Gojos tolerance is absolutely shit. Two shots and three puffs in and he is gone!

Suguru on the other hand could drink an entire bottle of tequila and smoke 12 joints and only really be kinda buzzed. 

Suguru is definitely in denial about his bisexuality. Everything that he does with Gojo is just for female attention, ya know?

Especially when they're making out alone in their shared room. That's definitely for attention. Source:just trust me bro

Gojo is very comfortable in his pansexuality, and has been known to use "are you a frying pan? Cause you're so fucking hot" as a pickup line.

Ok, now for their background!

Suguru and Gojo actually grew up together, and are the closest anyone can get to childhood friends,

Which morphed into the well documented phenomenon of an all too intense friendship that blurs the line of friends and dating, where if one of them were the opposite gender they would totally be together, but because they’re both boys there using that as a shield to avoid confronting their identities beyond the default settings

They were each other's first kiss 💋 

Gojo actually had really kind and loving parents who were very supportive. 

Sugurus' mom died when he was young though, leaving him and his dad to struggle. His dad wasn't necessarily bad, but he did have to work constantly and therefore wasn't home often.

Gojo was naturally smart and school came very easy to him. Meanwhile, Suguru struggled a lot, specifically with anything math related. 

This led to Gojo, with his great grades and generational wealth, being able to go to basically any college he wanted to. 

He still decided to go to the local community College in the end, at least to get his gen-eds and the first few years of his major out of the way at a heavily discounted price.

Yea, Suguru had no such opportunity, his options were community College or to start working with his dad as a mechanic immediately. 

And while he's not opposed to the idea of working with his father, and will even work with him for some extra spending money in the summers, he really wanted to give the whole higher education thing a shot. 

He's very proud to be in his community College, as he's the first person in his family to even attempt to get a degree

Now, here's how they are in a relationship because you can't have just one.

These boys have historically shared everything: their hot wheels, their Xbox, their bed, and their women. You are no exception. Lucky you 💜💙

When it comes to the three of you together, you find the boys actually work extremely well as a unit.

Where one struggles, the other thrives. Gojo isn't great when it comes to emotional venting and stuff, always looking to "fix" it.

Suguru is better at actually listening and only offering advice when you ask. He’s always willing to just cuddle and listen.

Suguru is terrible to try and watch movies with, he gets bored so fast. Meanwhile Gojo is obsessed with movies. 

Gojos fixer attitude also comes in clutch whenever you need to get something done, but just do not have it in you to do it. Need to call a doctor but have phone anxiety? Gojos your man.

Suguru craves to be the primary partner for both you and Gojo. Yes he's aware this is irrational, no he's not sure what to do about it. All he knows is that he gets jealous when he sees you with Gojo, and has to find ways to cope.

To his credit, he's never made this a problem for anyone other than himself, and he is actively working on it. 

Gojo on the other hand fucking loves to see you and Suguru spending time together. Those are his two favorite people in the god damn world, aren't they cute?!

Sugurus love language is music. He'll make you playlists, old fashioned mix tapes, and has forced you to listen to vinyl with him. He's written songs about you too, though he's too shy to show them off.

Will play his guitar for you only when asked because he knows the optics of 'frat guy with a guitar' are not ideal.

Gojo shows his love by sharing his candy. Splitting a Kit Kat, giving you a handful of skittles, sharing a sleeve of oreos. If Gojo shares his sweets with you he wants to marry you.

They two of you bond by baking together. You buy new cute molds and cookware together and set up entire spreads based on one theme.

Suguru was probably the first one to be in your life: I.E. the one that you agreed to date before realizing (and agreeing to) the package deal.

But Gojo said I love you first. He feels everything at 100% and hides none of it.

He said it loudly and in front of the rest of the frat, showing you off to everyone. 

When Suguru said it for the first time though, it was quiet; whispered to you late at night while you were curled up in his arms.

Both of the boys are massive cuddle bugs!

You call them Sugubear and Satotoro. Gojo loves it and Suguru does too, but he pretends he doesn't. 

[guardian5tiger3]

Your truest love in this lifetime 💕first time seeing eachother 😘

1 2

3 4

5 6

One.

Ok. So for you guys I'm seeing that you or them or possibly both of you are going to be going through something or will just be sad. I see you both talking. They might hear you talk before talking or vise versa. You guys are going to instantly relate a lot and they are going to make you feel better and vise versa but for most of you I'm seeing the dynamic that you're upset and they talk you to help in some way. They see you as beautiful. They're going to make you feel way more sane about what you're going through and confirm to you that it's normal and there isn't anything wrong with you. They will relate with you. Things will move fast after this because the love is almost instantly there. You guys will mostly just know what's up. I see you guys kind of tumbling a little bit here and there for a while in the start but is it love if you don't get a little clumsy? If there ends up being a period probably a shorter period of not much communication it's spirit guiding you or them or both of you to decide to share your feelings. This I'm seeing marriage or just very long-term. 💖

Two

You might say something shocking or very substantial. They're going to watch you from a far and admire you and observe. They might just leave without saying anything but somehow I really see them getting your phone number or contacts somehow. So you won't know as much about them as they do about them initially. I really wanted to say "and the rest is history " so that gives you an idea of your future with them ahah.💚

Three

You or them are going to have some type of victory in life around this time, I heard "advancement" for around half of you this is work related or financial. This might be at a celebration for such a thing. I see someone flirting with someone and the other person in a blushing, flattered, maybe nervous energy . Neither do you are going to realize how deep this is or at least one of you isn't. You might not perceive this as serious but... Man.... Somebody might walk away after that but spirit is coming up like no. Absolutely not. And they're are going to orchestrate this where there is no other option like you are meant to be so a lot of you will see them again in a work setting or kind of a similar setting as before. Somebody is gonna see them again somewhere random like a store but for you guys at that point you will both take as a sign it's serious and meant to be in a way.

Four

I am really getting magical energy I can feel it in my hands. You and this person more or less are very developed people , I heard smart. You both have it together. Not necessarily to societies standards, but to spirits. I got the tower so I think you'll both feel something big is going on.negative things might be going on but it's like you guys come together to tackle all of this together but it's almost like you guys come together and that all disappears anyway at least temporarily.

Spirit shows me you guys getting together and I think this is your souls not you guys in reality. but spirit doesnt want you to know the dynamic fully. I see it being way more complicated than any of the other readings. I'm getting a lot of negative cards for some reason. Yah so your souls get together before you do in the physical and whatever your souls guide you to do might not be getting together but you're both almost working together to manipulate this negative stuff going around you guys. It seems like a lot you both have to do. You both stand by yourselves for a while so you know this person well before you get together for real. When you guys are brought together it's probably going to be introduced to you both as a situation not involved connecting with eachother but this situation ends up making that happen.

Five

One of you is going to a situation of conflict to try to offer help or bring peace. The other will come in after like hey! How can I also help. Lol. This is funny cause whenever comes in after the other person is gonna be like seriously . Why are you coming here now.as if this person has some alterior motives or is a follower or something. They felt called to though. This person could like metal. They seem super goofy and it's like the stuff their into is goofy because of how they are about it. They're charming. Some of you one of you is gonna be like some type of scenario of oh man let's trade numbers or can I have your number or something cause oh , like for instance insurance cause of this car crash or something. They are silly lol. I like this person guys. I'm guessing you're the one that goes in first and they come in kind of goofy after for most of you that is so. So overall basically for all of you you're both approaching some time of conflict and the dynamic between you two is goofy.

Six

222 am right now. You guys are just gonna be doing something casual, for a lot of you I see you walking. It seems like you two are the only people around eachother, they're going to come up and talk to you, you'll start talking about life, and the conversation will just be super natural or fluid at least for one of you. It will just simply go from there. I'm getting a lot about synchronicities especially numbers for you guys. This is a really simple , pure, clear energy. There's not much more to be said. It's nice. I'm not getting super romantic immediately for most of you but as you get closer it will just sort of turn into that. 💗 No blockages, nothing extra. I like this. 🙂✨

[angels-are-sinning]

thoughts on how the riley family made simon instinctually latch onto soap.

something about how the generational gap is during simon and his own parents. i think his grandparents -- experienced the world war(s), of course, and from what i've seen from those parents and their children they aren't very affectionate.

they don't normally say "i love you" or display affection with hugs and kisses. maybe it's cultural differences or something. from what i see from that generation, they're more reserved and withdrawn. they leave their children to fend for themselves in a way. like if you think about those stories of immigrant parents and how they don't really say I love you but show their love in other ways. maybe not verbally but physically. in other means.

i suppose i think that way for simon's own parents too; when you read the comics, you don't see affection shared between his parents or himself, but he holds his mother in a high regard.

there's this wonderful headcanon that's about how "ghost doesn't say "I love you" a lot." and i agreed, since i think when he loves someone, he doesn't say he loves them more so than he shows he does care for them. acts of service and stuff. I attended a funeral of someone's mother, who lived through the great depression and second world war. her daughter talked about how her mother only hugged her once in her life, at least when she could remember -- and that was when she graduated medical school. i think maybe the riley family was like that too, even if simon's parents weren't conservative (they were shown to be previous punks Back in the day ((and punks were political)).) they still were Conservative in raising their children.

but to add to the angst, i don't think that simon handled it very well. i imagine him to be touch-starved, even if he doesn't like to say it or admit he needs the company or presence of other people to be around with, to feel safe. i think he was very quiet and shy when he was younger, keeping to himself more, and not one for social crowds and public events. keeping his distance. but i think a part of him longed for a family, a loving one, like the ones in the sitcoms with loud laughter and many jokes which were popular back when he was a teenager. i guess maybe that's why he was also drawn to the 141, seeing them as his family in a way, that he couldn't have, because his actual family and his parents were the type who .. Needed to be asked if you wanted any sort of affection with them. and i think simon's too embarrassed to ask.

to add to the angst: he knows his parents do love him. he's grateful. he has a house. and he has food and a good education and clothes. but he desperately craves love, warmth, attention, things that his parents did not/or could not provide for him. but even if they do love him, love is useless if it cannot be understood by the recipient. he feels guilty that he feels like this, that he needs More of what they've already provided for him.

bonus points if maybe his parents (or at least his mother) worked really hard out of destitute poverty and is stretched thin to give her children a comfortable life, but never really said anything about it.

(((i like the idea of his father was from some wealthier means, but was kind of shunned for marrying someone of a lower class and thus unable to inherit or was excluded from the high society his childhood offered Etcetera because of his "relations".

A marriage for love that was doomed to fail from the start. How his grandparents on "that" side of the family were right about his father.

Simon got hit with the double combo: working class background trauma (you hurt me so much but you broke your back working for me to have a good life) from his mum and the generational trauma (controlling rich parents) from his dad...

it also makes it easier for simon to instinctively care for his mother more than his father because his father Does have somewhere to go back to, if this family fails. he can easily rebuild with another woman and have other children with her. but maybe his mother has no one except this family.

so soap comes in. soap, gaz, price, the 141. somehow he feels at home with them, how they feel more like a family than the one he had. his house was relatively quiet. not many conversations shared during meals. some brotherly bonding, sure. but his father was usually absent (for work) and his mother was always busy, or very tired after work that she couldn't do anything else when she got home.

but the 141?

they were there for him. gaz was there by his side and elbowing him whenever soap made a joke. soap, the sunshine, always cheerful. price and his fatherly nature towards the 141, as if they were his children. his to nurture. his to protect. i think maybe that's also why ghost is more drawn to price than his actual biological father, because price Acts like an actual dad. deep down, he's been longing for this. touch starved. aching for some sort of warmth and affection, even if its just a shared look or a graze of the hand. he craves touch. he craves for attention, after being withheld from it for so long.

[seismologically-silly]

Puzzlemaster Week 3 Recap

August 5th

and another week gone by. this week was even quieter than last week, so this will likely be a short post.

a few corrections from last week: this is not a chess game, this is something more like Sorry! sorry. also, importantly, @the-r4t-man and @puzz1e-master went on a date. terribly sorry i missed that!

so yeah, slow week. i know i and at least one other fell ill this week, and some life stuff has happened to a few people so that'd probably be why none of us were really working. this is not a knock on any of us-- health and life come before playing an internet game. i hope everyone is okay.

but none of this is to say that nothing got done on the puzzles this week-- @get-your-fuckin-star-bitch noticed that a) one of the messages reads, "You are part of something bigger than you think/than you know." He and @potato-lord-but-not also figure the second message is along the lines of "there is a way to stop their plan, [what] you know will stop the end they crave." This was offered to the Puzzlemaster, who said he'd look into it as a piece appears to be missing still.

some roleplay has also been progressing on personal sideblogs, relating to research around the puzzles, entities, and mysterious books.

Activity really went quiet from all parties after August 5th. From Week 1, we know this was an important date in the Puzzlemaster's backstory, so i can't help but speculate whether this may have contributed to the quiet week we just had.

i suppose we'll see, if the game continues!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)

So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.

Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.

They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.

So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?

Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)

So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.

that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:

- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)

- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)

- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt

- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)

so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.

you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.

so that gets that one out of the way.

as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.

but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:

- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before

- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him

- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)

- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated

- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck

- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon

- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted

- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him

- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him

the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.

i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!

(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)

i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕

[astaraels]

so let's talk some more about gallavich and their adopted runaway trans daughter Starr (more on her here and here; it'll make more sense if you read those posts first)

I mentioned that I think Mickey and Ian would move back to the South Side, and they'd have a house instead of an apartment, and that Starr would clean up the place in thanks for letting her stay—while she's doing so, maybe she runs across a school photo of a little blonde kid with a goofy smile, and familiar blue eyes, and big glasses, and she'd bet anything that this kid is related to Mickey

and she finds a frame that isn't being used, maybe up in the attic, and puts the picture in the frame and sets it on the mantel in the living room next to other family photos (Debbie and Franny; Debbie, Carl, and Liam; Lip and Tammi and their kids; a selfie of Fiona at the beach; Mickey and Ian's wedding photo; stuff like that)

so Mickey is home one day while Ian is off visiting his siblings—Mickey is too peopled out that day and decided to stay home—when he notices the new picture with the others; Starr sees his reaction, like he's seen a ghost, and she says she found the picture when she was cleaning, and thought it looked good in the frame. but Mickey's reaction maybe spooks her a little bit, and she's like "I hope that was okay"

Mickey doesn't say anything at first, but he's uncharacteristically quiet when he nods and says "yeah, that's okay" but he doesn't explain—and look, Starr knows when people wanna talk about stuff but also don't want to at the same time, but she's thirteen or fourteen years old and has no impulse control so she asks who the kid is, and even though she guessed it she's still kinda surprised when Mickey says "that's my son"

and she asks him "do you wanna talk about it?" to which he says fuck no; she's all prepared to drop the subject when he says that he hasn't even seen the kid in years, not since he was in prison and Svetlana brought Yev to visit. and slowly—maybe over the next few weeks—she learns more of the story, and even though Mickey doesn't tell her everything, she's smart enough to put the pieces together

because I really love the idea that Mickey and Svetlana get back in touch after everything went down and he and Ian got married (she'd give him shit about where was her invitation and he was all "I didn't know your fuckin address!" but she loved seeing the pictures and said "you and carrot boy look very happy together"), and now they meet up every few months for lunch or something, maybe text now and again; she keeps him updated on Yevgeny and how he's doing in school ("he wants to go to college and be doctor") and she told Mickey that if he wants to meet Yev properly he can, but he's never taken her up on the offer because he thinks Yev is better off without him

and Starr just looks at Mickey, and the picture of Yevgeny—he's a couple years younger than she is, I figure this would be when he's about ten or so—and tells him about how she thought her parents loved her, but that was only when they thought she was their son, and "I don't know what you did before but you can't be worse than my folks"

they talk about it now and again—Ian knows they do but he's learned to let Mickey work through things at his own pace—and she finds out Yevgeny is about to start middle school, and Starr eventually tells Mickey that he should go see his son. Mickey of course thinks it's a terrible idea but she's like look, man, you guys have been great to me, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if your kid at least knew you were out there. unfortunately she's painfully aware of what it's like knowing your parents don't want anything to do with you, but it's also clear to her that it's painful for Mickey to think about his son ("talking to him might be hard, but it can't be worse than staying away")

finally after Starr has been staying with them for a while—she eventually got Ian on the "talk to Yevgeny" train too, and Mickey complained that they were "fuckin ganging up on him"—Mickey goes into the kitchen after dinner, and Starr and Ian can hear him talking on the phone to someone about "-wanna see the kid next time, if that's okay" and they give each other a tiny high five

when he comes back from lunch with Svetlana a few weeks later it's with a smile on his face and some new pictures of him and Yevgeny on his phone, as well as one with him and Svet and Yev

Ian is absolutely over the moon, too, and insists they print out the pictures and put them up on the mantelpiece; and Mickey asks if the two of them wanna come along the next time he sees Svet and the kid (and Ian is like uh yeah I haven't seen Lana in forever and I wanna know how Yevgeny is doing because he loved that kid so much and I really feel like the show dropped the ball on Ian and Svet's relationship too, which is a crying shame)

and the three of them settle in to watch TV together, their cat Duchess sprawled across Mickey and Ian's laps, and their pit bull Lady curled up by Starr's feet in her chosen armchair, and Ian just grins at Mickey and doesn't have to say how proud he is of his husband, because it's written all over his face

(I'm sure I'll write more about Starr and her adopted gay uncles in the future but I just love the idea that she'd be a catalyst for Mickey reconnecting with Yevgeny, and how he'd try his best to be the exact opposite of his own dad ;~; )

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m feeling silly rn so can I pretty please get some Digital circus x reader headcanons with a reader that’s like a creepy clown doll that’s really anxious? (I’m in my creepy doll era🥺❗️❗️)

Various TADC characters x creepy clown doll!reader w/ anxiety

i kinda really want to bake something but i dont know what hmmm.... characters: ragatha, kinger, pomni, gangle notes: reader is gn, mostly platonic leaning for these CWs: none

RAGATHA

she offers to fix any of the tears you may have in your clothing, though shes a little confused that you want to keep them... you insist that they make you creepier, or at least as creepy as you can look in the digital circus

shes not all that put off by your appearance like some of the others, at least not for long- she manages to get over it fairly quickly in order to make you feel welcome

if you dont want to be perceived as creepy, though, shes more than willing to try to help where she can to make you look more approachable

but if you want to look creepy, or even look creepier... shes a little lost, but shes willing to give you a hand

she does her best to try to work with you through your anxiety, she tries to give you little pep talks and reassurances where she can

always lingering around to make sure you dont need anything, although sometimes she feels she may be overbearing because of it

KINGER

probably the most put off by your appearance, he needs the most time to get over it- hes noticeably a little more on edge around you too, but its not that he doesnt... like you...

your vibe just puts him on edge when hes not fully himself or there in the moment, time and being open is going to be your friend here

more inclined to approach you if you have bugs crawling around on you, its a good conversation opener! he can take them off your hands if you dont want spiders crawling all over you

it kind of turns into a little activity between the two of you, he picks through you and over time you guys get more and more comfortable around one another

i can see him being a little oblivious to some of your clown antics that border on the creepy side, sneaking around and causing mischief, a lot of it goes right over his head and he goes on with applauding you

he just wants to be supportive!

as you both get to know one another he learns of your struggles and you both kind of bond over that- if hes in a clearer head space he does his best to reassure you of anything thats been eating you up

he gets really good at picking up on how youre feeling, sometimes he notices before you realize you're starting to feel... not very well...

POMNI

also pretty put off by your appearance and general demeanor, probably just a little less on edge than kinger.. headcanon that pomni isnt all that into horror and this pops up with you

tries her best to act normal around you like she isnt a little put off

when she finds out youre not as bad as you look she feels bad, even worse when she realizes some of the distance and aloofness comes from your anxiety, she does her best to approach you and close the gap between the two of you

awkward at first... very awkward... but shes trying her best to make you feel welcome around her!

small talk that slowly spirals into longer conversations where you two are just bouncing off of each other, it doesnt feel all that forced anymore and you two like each others company

GANGLE

she can relate to your anxiety, sometimes the two of you hide away from everyone else and just... exist together, where its less overwhelming

gangle doesnt talk much about her problems much but that doesnt mean youre not allowed to, shes a good listener

shes an artist so obligatory she likes your theming and finds herself drawing stuff for you based off your style

tends to any ribbons you have in your clothing or on your body so they can.. not get undone..

you both are attached to the hip for the most part, one is hardly ever seen without the other

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for finally telling the truth?

I (26 M) work as the editor of a local paper. The owner (40 M) is basically useless and also has a bit of a short temper, so I have to both run everything and try to meditate between him and the rest of the staff. I'm also being paid just enough to get by but, you know, we're struggling. I'm willing to do what I can to keep us afloat.

A few weeks ago, my best friend (27 M) tried pitching a story to our boss that he and his twin sister (27 F) wrote together. However, it was fiction and the owner wasn't happy about that-- he ripped up my friend's notebook and even fired him, despite my best efforts. I was able to gather up the remains of my friend's notebook and returned them to him, and asked about the story, since I saw the first few lines and thought it looked promising.

They told me the story, and it was amazing. It was written as if they were journal entries by a famous astronomer (27 M) claiming to have discovered life on the moon-- pretty fantastical stuff, but if you didn't know the truth it would honestly seem believable. They wanted me to sneak the story into the paper but I was hesitant. Not only would I be lying to hundreds of people, but I'd be the one taking a risk here-- my best friend was already fired, and he and his sister have a secondary source of income, while the paper is pretty much all I have. They convinced me to print it anyway, saying that the astronomer is literally on the other side of the world and the paper could fold at any minute anyway, so I did it.

The story exploded-- everyone believed it, and we sold more copies of that issue than we had the whole of the previous year. The owner was initially furious, but once he realized how much money this would make him he was suddenly fine with it. He even hired my best friend back, since he had future "journal entries" already written.

Then things started going downhill. I found out my best friend was given a raise, and I wasn't, even though I was working just as much if not more than before. I brought this up to my boss, and he said that I had betrayed him by printing the story, and that he can't reward someone he can't trust-- but it was only because of me that we printed the story that lead to him reaping the rewards!

To make things worse, I never even get to talk to my friend and his sister outside of matters relating to getting the next article printed. There are so many people who want to meet and talk with them, they've even became close friends with this very rich and influential local figure (27 F) and while I'm happy for them, I wish they would at least make a bit of time for me.

Last night things came to a head. My friend's sister and I were preparing the next article, and I left the room for a few minutes. When I came back, the astronomer we were lying about was there, unconscious. Apparently he came all the way across the world to demand an explanation, and my friend's sister panicked and knocked him out. If that wasn't bad enough, she then decided we needed to bring him to MY apartment until she figures out what to do next. He's in my spare bedroom right now.

This has all gotten so out of control. I never asked to get wrapped up in something like this, I was just trying to help my friends and save our jobs. Now so many people are believing a bunch of lies that we attributed to a man I just helped assault and kidnap! And through everything, everyone else seems to be doing better while I just keep doing worse-- I feel like I've been used and left behind.

This is where I'm wondering if I'm the asshole or not. After the first article was published, I was approached by someone who works for our main competitor, and he offered me money to expose the story as a hoax, a lot of money. I turned him down at the time, but after last night, I contacted him and said I was willing to prove it was fake if he was still willing to pay. He'll be here soon, and I'm going to tell him everything.

I know that this would be terrible for the reputations of my friend and his sister, and the paper I work for will definitely go under. But I'm tired of lying to people, and I feel guilty for that and everything we've done to the astronomer; we'll have damaged his reputation as well, not to mention how he quite possibly has a brain injury now. And, frankly, I'm tired of putting in all this effort and getting nothing in return. The truth will come out eventually, would it really be so bad if it came out just a little sooner and I could have a bit of financial stability because of it?

So, am I the asshole?

[hilsonamore]

THOUGHTS ON S4 EP12, HOUSE M.D (pt.1)

“ Don’t Ever Change”

I have so many thoughts regarding this episode it’s actually crazy. Okay so, here me out-

First of all, starting off strong with these two, with house asking wilson all these questions and pestering him about dating amber and asking him why on earth he would ever date her. And then they get into the elevator and house is betting against wilson that the relationship will only last 2 more months and wilson looks over at him and says:

“We’re at four months”

“You hid this from me?”

“I thought you’d be upset”

There’s all lot to unpack here. To start with, dr wilson, why would you hide from your best friend the fact that you are dating somebody else? They literally talk about everything with each other, and especially about the people they’re seeing (at least wilson is, because house doesn’t do anything else with his time apart from sticking his nose in all-wilson-related stuff). Maybe it’s because amber is an ex employee of house’s? But why would that upset him, regardless of..well, his being house. I mean sure, house was talking her down all the time “cutthroat bitch this and cutthroat bitch that”, but still.

And honestly, the best thing in this entire sequence, in my opinion, is house’s expression when he realises that wilson hid something so important from him. My man is in sock, he’s so used to wilson spilling his guts out to him, so used to having everything perfectly calculated when it comes to his best friend, that this gapping hole in his knowledge leaves him bereft. I have honestly never seen him so flabbergasted before.

And also wilson, dear, “i thought you’d be upset”. Like, i know he probably means that house would go feral over his dating somebody he literally shits on all the time, who just so happens to be a literal mirror of himself, but it makes me feel kinda funny how wilson just always has house in my mind and he knows perfectly well how he’s going to react to everything, thus taking necessary measures to secure… an appropriate amount of mental stability.

Um. I honestly don’t know where to start with this one. Firstly, house is scary. Yeah no shit sherlock. But like, he knows he’s scary, it’s not like his self-obsessed person would ever assume that people don’t quiver under his gaze (that phrase can be translated into plenty of different things, but you know what i mean). This particular phrase, i think, is not even directed towards wilson, but it’s more like house asking himself that. He knows he is scary, he knows wilson is pretty pathetic, he also knows, deep down, whether he wants to admit it out loud or not, that he desperately needs wilson in his life… the man clings on to him like he’s the fucking sun and he cant live without his radiance. Aaaand, he also knows that Amber, like him, is scary. And yet he wonders:

“Why would anyone, other than me, cling on to this man? How would such a paradoxical courtship even work?”

I just love how hypocritical and ridiculous this statement is, because not only does house know, but we as the audience can spot the oxymoron of his wondering: why would an alternate version of myself cling on to someone i need.

Just admit it babe, you want those puppy brown eyes all to yourself.

Next off, what the fuck do you mean he broke into his best friend’s/ his girlfriend’s (i don’t know whose it is) apartment just to have a little chitchat with Amber? To literally attempt to force her into breaking up with wilson? Re-Offering her a spot in his team only if she stops seeing his best friend? I mean seriously, realistically speaking, why is he even doing that?

Sure, he doesn’t like her but he respects her enough and understands her as a character because she doesn’t remind him of his own self, she literally is another personification of his own individual, and it scares the hell out of him, because he can predict the course of things. So why does he want them to break up? Because he knows she’s going to hurt wilson, she’s bound to, she’s bound to extract all the goodness, all the energy out of wilson and leave him bare when she doesn’t need him anymore. He knows she’s ultimately going to hurt him because he fears he’s going to do that to wilson as well, sooner or later, and he doesn’t want anybody else to do that other than him, if things come to that (this is SICK).

And it’s not just the “i’ll do anything for you not to lay a finger on him” or the “if you hurt him, you’re dead”, it’s not just house’s overprotectiveness over wilson, it’s also his acknowledgment of the fact that, if there’s two of them, two people who need wilson, two people who want him all to themselves, two people who cling on to him for dear life, then it’s almost certain that one of them will eventually be let go of. And house fears that that one person might be him. And he can’t risk that.

Also, on to a more silly and also craaaazy note… the way house looks at amber when he tells her to give wilson his sweatshirt back- holy. Actual. Shit. I swear to god i thought he was going to bite her head off. The way his eyes have this murderous, warning gleam, their proximity, the danger and warning in his voice i- boy is just like “give my boyfriend his sweatshirt back or else we’ll be having more than a few exchanges of words next time”

IM GONNA MAKE A PART 2 BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE WAY TOO LONG SO STAY TUNED😔

[beepersteeper]

I Will Always Find You -- Astarion x Tav -- Comparing Notes | part 3

Astarion and F!Tav live happily together for the remaining years she has, she refuses to be turned into a vampire because her faith says that her soul isn’t finished with its work yet. Tav dies of old age and leaves Astarion to put together the pieces of his broken heart. AN: Lord of Light lore taken and changed to fit the story's means. Not canonically accurate. TLDR story line stuff. This is an AU where Astarion ascends but isn't a power hungry bastard and Tav is able to help him continue healing. Wyll is immortal and the Duke. Karlach in my mind, if given a new engine would be able to live a lot longer than the usual tiefling. Another AN: idk if anyone wants tagged in this WIP but let me know. 

She looked at his face, like she was Looking through him. “Interesting.” They sit together quietly for a moment. “If you want to see the others I have, you're more than welcome to come in. It's the least I owe you for this.” She pushes her hair behind her ear and tries to hide her smile, gesturing with the beacon. 

Astarion thinks on the offer for a long beat. “I'd love to.” He smiles.

“Come on then." She smiles, more confidence radiating from her smile. She stands and reaches out her free hand for him to take. He takes her hand standing and collects his books into his pack. He touches Tav's headstone as he walks away following Ta’vira into the side door of the book store.

The old man from the other night raises an eye as the duo walk past him into a curtained off room behind the merchants counter. “You be good back there daughter." not overbearing but concerned nonetheless.

“Daddy I am a 30 year old woman." She snarks back playfully through the curtain.

“A 30 year old baby. My baby. Keep your hands to yourself son." The man responds.

Astarion clears his throat, caught off guard “Will do sir." He smiles an uncomfortable smile at Ta'vira.

She sets Tav's beacon on the table, waves her hand to gesture to ignore her father and gathers her other three from the bookshelf lining the back of the room. All slightly different shapes but clearly all related. She hands one to him “See what this one does.” He sighs and rolls his eyes as he asks the same question that he's said several times in the past day. He sees nothing but total darkness, until he feels a cold breeze cross his skin. He shares what he saw with Ta’vira. She purses her lips and hums in response, handing him another one and opening a well used notebook to scrawl something on a blank page. With the second one he feels a hum that is shaking like an earthquake with flashes of light zipping past his sight. He describes what he witnessed to her. She sits in thought for a moment before she stands to get a book after handing him her last one. He feels the knot in his chest tighten. He smells and tastes Tav's blood like it was the first day he fed from her at camp. He snaps himself out of the vision and tries to carefully set the beacon down. Cold sweat beading on his forehead.

“I can't explain that one to you." He blushes absentmindedly, licking his lips. 

"It's got something to do with blood.” She ponders "I thought for sure a vampire would be more attuned to it.” she adds plainly.

He scoffs, taken aback, caught completely off guard and unaware how he should respond.

"Oh come off it Astarion.” She laughs and leans her forearms on the table “it's not like it's a huge secret. Or was I not supposed to see those pointed teeth in your smile?”

He casts his eyes away for a moment before returning to her face “You got me.” He chuckles, flashing her a genuine smile. He takes a breath and explains what he saw and felt “it was all Tav. It was almost like she was here, with me.” he smiles quietly to himself. “Are you really not worried about being alone with a vampire?" he asks, shocked. Not so used to a warm welcome from new people.

She is fingering through her book tracing passages with her finger. She scoffs playfully "If you were a danger to me you could have already had me by the neck several times since we met.” She turns her attention to her notebook writing quickly like her thoughts will cease to exist if she doesn't write them down right now.

He shakes his head thoroughly surprised by the nonchalant response.

“It says here that these may be more reactive when there are more people around that are connected through time or have similar histories.”  Her emerald eyes stare into his as if she's looking for any inkling of a connection, the edges of her eyes crinkle as she studies him.

He softened his eyes, letting her look for whatever she needed. "Do you think we…" he asked, feeling so small.

“I guess there's no harm in trying…” she leans toward him holding Tav's beacon holding it out for him to place his hand on, their fingers brush each other's hand. He feels tingles travel up his arm and he shivers away the feeling. She reaches out her free hand for him to take.

“Your father told me to keep my hands to myself." He jokes holding his free hand over hers.

She sighs, exasperated and grabs his hand “He’ll be fine.”

Another jolt of tingles ran up his arm forcing him to smile. They both ask "What are you?” 

The vision is shared, the warm light burning hotter than before, but the full figures of two people holding hands and walking toward the light. There were no details in the shapes, but they both felt like they knew the people. Like they could be the people. The figures walk to the light and walk through it. Disappearing from view.

“Woah.” Ta’vira says, setting the beacon down. “That was the most vivid I've ever seen. Ever heard of. What…” she trails off, not trying to let go of his hand.

They just look at each other. Unsure if the other saw the same thing. While holding each other's hand Astarion instinctively ran his thumb over her knuckles sensing her tension. Ta’vira relaxes and smiles as she places her now free hand on the table. “Would you tell me about her?" She asks and leans her head to the side slightly.

He smiles to himself thinking about how he could even begin to describe her to anyone. “Words just can't describe her." He chuckles “but I can try. If I do, will you finally tell me what I get to call you?" He flirts freely, admittedly a little rusty. She nods, the tips of her ears flushing. Something that Astarion certainly notices. "and promise to protect my honor if your father sees my hands, decidedly not to myself.” he raises their clasped hand slightly off the table. She rolls her eyes at him, clearly not amused.

He rambles as he describes Tav. "She was undoubtedly the best person I’ve ever met. We met in the most bizarre way, we shouldn't have met, really. But we did and I couldn't get her out of my mind from that moment. Someone so kind, and peaceful. We were in a situation that no one could have imagined, and I was scared. I hadn't been on my own for 200 years. So I thought if I had tricked her into loving me she’d protect me. She didn't fall for it, and showed me that I was worth the hard work it would take to be with me without having to wear a mask around her. She would bend over backwards or give the shirt off her back for anyone that she cared about. She didn't want to resort to violence unless it was the only option. That was something that took me years to get used to.” he pauses to chuckle. 

"But” he continues “she would never let her own feelings influence those around her instead she would help you find your own peace. She helped me become the man I am today. Wyll Ravengard too. And like 5 other people who we traveled with. She didn't care for many material things, but the few things she did she would treasure those little doodads like they were Rubies. I have this little rock that is always in my pocket because she picked it out of the river on a whim and told me to “keep it forever" and that crazy woman would ask me to see it every. single. week. for the rest of her life” he laughs, pulling a plain gray pebble from the inner pocket of his jacket and putting it on the table. 

"She would dance to the music in her mind whenever the mood struck her and could light up a room with her smile. There was nowhere she could go and not” he holds up one finger “either know at least one person or” he holds up a second finger “leave with new friends. And somehow she would remember each and every one of their faces and stories. Tav was the most beautiful and funny person I have ever met. Even in her dying days she was smiling and excited. She was comforting me. She said she knew that she wasn't done here. She made me promise to look for and find her again. I can still hear the melody of her voice in my mind.” He sighs a large in-love smile plastered across his face. “I'm sorry if that was too much.”

Ta’vira looks at him, a sweet smile on her face, just enjoying feeling his love for Tav filling the room. "Don't you dare apologize for that. She’s one lucky woman to have found you. I just can't help but wonder why you didn't…” she trails off implying turning her into a vampire like him pointing to her own canine tooth. 

"I’m the lucky one.” he sighs “She wouldn't let me,” he shrugs, putting his Forever rock back into his pocket. “Said she needed to start again. That she wasn't done yet. Trust me I tried to convince her, but her freewill was what made her HER and I would have never dreamed of taking that from her.”

Ta’vira nods agreeing that that was the right decision. “How did she know what else she had to do?"

“She didn't" he laughs “just felt that in her soul that she wasn't done. I think she just wanted to find the answer to these bloody things." He gestures their hands to a beacons. “She was never one to leave something undone." He rolls his eyes and realizes that they're still holding hands. “How do people of your faith know that they'll return? Know that there is an answer?"

“Just blind faith I guess." Ta’vira shrugs readjusting her hand in his “like my own experience is that I can remember things from times long before I was in my current cycle. I feel like I've been everything. I've been ungodly rich, dirt floor poor, I've lived lives of crime and of pride. I've been the hero and the villain. But the Lord of Light is a constant. They are my safety. If Tav had anything similar to my experience she just wanted to be able to answer the Lord's question to finally stay in one life, and feel fulfilled and happy to move onto whatever comes next for me.”

“So if you were able to answer their question you would just…”

"Find what makes me happy and do that for as long as I can.” She giggles “I'm sure Tav wanted to answer the Lord's question to be able to happily stay with you until the sun blinked out.” She paused and continued hurriedly “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak for her.”

"No no, you're not saying anything she wouldn't. Anything she hadn't." He laughs “Would you believe me if I told you that that's verbatim what she said before she passed.”

Ta’vira blinked at him, cocking her brows at him "curious isn't it?”

"Uncanny.” He responds, moving his hands to brush his hair back from his face. Their conversation was punctuated by her father speaking from behind the curtain.

"Vira, do you and your new friend mind watching the counter while I fetch some lunch?” 

“Sure daddy." She responds standing from her seat. “You don't have to stay. I'm sure someone in your position has plenty more important things than hanging out with a bookstore clerk." 

"I don't have anything else to do.” He stands before he fully processed what she has said "What do you mean my position?” he scoffs. 

She opens the curtains for them to pass through “Please, your plain clothes don't fool me. You're the only talk of the town. Lord Ancunín is back after a THIRTY year sabbatical.”

"Yet you seem unimpressed.” He coons, following her to the counter.

"It'll take a lot more than your reputation to impress me.” She jokes leaning her forearms on the counter opening a book to read.

He picks the book from her hands and sets it on the counter stepping closer to her to ask "What would it take to impress you?”

"I'm not sure.” She pushes him back playfully with one hand on his arm and picks up her book again, opening it to read “You're a smart man, I'm sure you'll figure it out.”

He chuckles and leans his hips back into the counter folding his sleeves up smiling to himself “Cheeky." He tuts crossing his arms.

The two talk some, and stand in comfortable silence for a while. A few customers come in to look, a few buy books and a few are shocked seeing lord Ancunín behind the counter of the little shop. Eventually Ta’vira’s father came back to the building with a look of approval on his face seeing Astarion organizing stacks of books on a new shelf.

“Putting your new friend to work already? I've gotta say, that's impressive son." He says setting the box of food on the counter.

Astarion smirks and cocks an eyebrow to Ta’vira and mouths impressive. She rolls her eyes hard and reaches into the box pulling out two wrapped sandwiches and begrudgingly hands one to him.

“Thanks daddy."she kisses him on the cheek.

He nods and asks his daughter, but looking at his guest “Does your new friend have a name?"

“Astarion, sir." he answers

“Little Star, from the old language." He muses as if recalling the whole old language and placing it in a timeline “How'd you meet my daughter, Astarion?"

“In the cemetery, our paths just crossed when she interrupted my conversations with my loved ones” he earns a jab in the ribs causing him and her father to chuckle “But really, just happened upon each other's company in the cemetery."

“A quick wit, maybe you'll finally have some competition Vira.” Her father laughs into his sandwich “What were you two doing back there anyway? Nothing unspeakable I hope.”

She groans into her hand aggressively, turning the page of her book. “We were studying the beacons. He had one so we wanted to compare notes.”

Her father's breath catches for a moment "Is that so…  did you figure anything out?” 

"Nothing really” she shrugs, Astarion hears the tinge of a lie in her tone. “Just more of the same stuff, but he did have similar visions to mine."

“That is uncommon.” He hums “If you plan on coming around more often I might have to put you on the payroll Son, you are doing a wonderful job holding those books. But we do have shelves for that though.” He jokes pointing out that Astarion has stood in the same place with the same books, staring at his daughter.

This is my first time doing a taglist, I hope it works.

Taglist:

@zoeloveslotr @silverfangmarks @prudent-nerd