#so he bought a copy for her and didn't buy one for himself

[roseferncal]

i know this definitely isnt true but like. i choose to believe that the only reason publishers nowadays keep including those extra white pages at the beginning of books is explicitly so that people can still write a short message to the person they're giving the book to :)

[thechy-fychannel]

I saw a few other blogs doing this so I thought I'd share my input on what I think would happen in the House MD universe in 2024:

the constant jokes abt house and wilson's relationship turns into the fellows jokingly writing fanfic abt their boss and his boy best friend. somewhere along the way they all get very serious abt the quality of it and it turns into a Whole Thing, a 150k+ novel that they vow to take to their graves.

house discovers the fic by accident and sends it to wilson. wilson discovers things abt himself and then he and house discover each other shortly thereafter.

house purposefully posts the fic online and credits the fellows by their entire full names so it embarrasses them more than house and wilson. It's never spoken abt again but it gets way more online attention than any of them expected.

wilson doesn't get how the Cloud works and accidentally uploads his and house's nudes to the google nest hub on his desk. He doesn't notice it until one of his sweet little old lady cancer patients points it out to him during their appointment. He throws the google nest hub into his trash can until he can figure out how to get the naked pictures off of it.

house has an alexa and abuses the hell out of it. sometimes ppl hear him screaming at someone in his office, only to walk in and find a robotic voice replying with "sorry, I didn't get that" and house throws it off the balcony.

wilson gets addicted to online shopping. house has to stage an intervention bc they do not have enough room in their closet for another pair of prada loafers and their kitchen is full of shitty gadgets that wilson bought off temu or something.

some right wing social media influencer comes in with a mysterious illness and ends up getting castrated as part of the solution. 13 personally does the procedure herself and house watches like a proud dad.

a patient reveals chase's grindr by shoving his phone at him and asking "is this you?" abt the headless profile with the ripped abs that says Dr. Feel Good, 0 feet away, in front of the rest of the team.

foreman finds the team doing tiktok dances bc house told them to learn it in order to understand their 15 yr old patient better.

chase medically murders mitch mcconnel and the entire hospital celebrates ding dong the witch is dead style.

there's a whole episode where house faces his transphobia bc of a trans patient that he connects with. the patient tells him to fuck off and go face his own problems instead of pretending to make it right by being nice to one trans person. And house does, even if he's not perfect, he really tries to do better.

13 gets her medical marijuana card and accidentally becomes the team's plug. her main customer is wilson who still supplies it to certain terminal patients. She hears "hey, can I hit your pen?" at least four times a day.

foreman buys a tesla and it blows up in the parking lot. they spend the entire episode trying to figure out who tried to kill foreman, but it turns out that teslas just do that sometimes.

there's an episode where house finds out that netflix is removing his favorite obscure tv show that ran for 2 seasons in 2002 and wilson recruits the team to hunt down a dvd copy of it without house finding out. they somehow manage to find one and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, only to open the dvd case and find a copy of the porno wilson starred in that one time instead of the dvd of the show. park saves the day at the last minute by finding a copy of it in a box of dvds in her parents house.

[vacayisland]

Can I request a floyd x fem!kpop troll who was in her own group and Floyd’s reaction when he finds out? (If you need help w groups I suggest girls generation/SNSD or twice :D)

@!; I never knew! Floyd / Fem!Kpop Troll! Reader

"Tag list"! @writergal02 @chamille-trash @valvalentine69 @starzwithapen @ykvlanq

ꨄ︎ Having met Floyd after your group had blew up, you were hesitant to tell him about your career. Not because you didn't trust him nor were you ashamed of yourself or your group members, yet... he was one of the first people who didn't know who you were. He didn't know your K-pop group, he didn't know your stage name, he didn't call you or fangirl over you when he saw you. It was honestly refreshing, really refreshing.

ꨄ︎ You had joint your group for fun, at first; you thought having a group of other like minded people to rise to fame with would be fucking amazing. And while it was, the amount of fans you guys got swamped with was, well, unbearable. You loved the support, you loved your fans, yet finally finding someone who didn't know who you were was like finding a needle in a hay stack. Especially when your management had managed to get your groups music in every tribe after the events at the Hard Rock tribe. It not only blasted your popularity within the K-Pop trolls group, and their following, yet throughout the other tribes. And you didn't want to ruin the thing you had going with Floyd; so you kept your mouth shut.

ꨄ︎ Every time you had to do something with your group, you always made up an excuse for Floyd. Little yet believable things, like "Oh my sister is sick, I have to take care of her", "I'm spending time with family", "I had a long day and need a moment to myself", "I'm baking with friends", "girls only sleep over sorry", "I'm not in the village right now!". You know, simple white lies that had some sort of truth behind them. You hated lying to Floyd, especially when you two were really clicking, yet you also couldn't tell him the truth; not yet. And Floyd always seemed to not mind, always respected your plans and you, so you thought it was alright.

ꨄ︎ Meanwhile, when you weren't hanging out with Floyd, Floyd was hanging out with his brothers, Poppy, and Viva. It was always casual hangouts either in Branch's bunker, Poppy's pod, or else where around the village. Yet, one day while hanging out in Branch's bunker, Poppy brought out Branch's record player. She began exclaiming, basically shouting and springing with excitement, with how Branch had got her a new vinyl of this band that Poppy loves! Bruce encouraged her to play it, and well Poppy and Viva squealed and danced around while listening to it. "Oh hey, it's that new band." Bruce mumbled, recognizing the tune and lyrics, as well as the voices, of the k-pop band that was currently running a rampage in his house. "My kids love these girls."

ꨄ︎ That was the first time Floyd was exposed to your music, or k-pop in general. He enjoyed it, so he had asked Branch where he bought it and went to go buy himself a copy so he could listen to it at his own pod. He even sent you a photo of the vinyl after he got it!

ꨄ︎ "Hey, look at this new group my brothers introduced me to! Do you know them? They sound really good."

ꨄ︎ As soon as you got that message, and looked at the vinyl record, you freaked out. You scared the shit out of your fellow members, who stared at you so confused and concerned; Even your make-up stylist was concerned. "Hey, hey! What's wrong?" One of them would asked, panickily rushing to your side. You were sure they thought that you just got a message of Floyd cheating on you with another guy. But nope, "He bought one of our vinyls! He knows about our music!" "Oh. you know I thought this would be more serious-" "THIS IS SERIOUS!"

ꨄ︎ You accidentality left Floyd on read for 10 minutes as you explained to the others that you had never told Floyd about your association with this group. You had never told him you sang, or you were apart of this big K-pop group that blew up globally and you weren't sure how to tell him and it's not like you want to tell him incase that somehow ruined your current relationship! It was a lot to confess, especially when you all were getting ready for a show. Your other members stared at you like you were a little mental for your line of reasoning. And maybe you were, but you didn't want to out yourself now! You've been keeping this up for 7 months!

ꨄ︎ That's when Floyd texted you again: "Hey, are you okay? I saw you read my message and you don't usually leave me on read. Unless something happened?"

ꨄ︎ And you had no choice but to respond! You couldn't leave him on read twice. "Hey, sorry something just came up. Yeah, I've heard of them they're pretty good."

ꨄ︎ "Did you really just call us good?" Your group was now peaking over your shoulder, silently reading the conversation to themselves as it played out. They had always been curious about you and this Floyd fellow, and now they understood why you never introduced them. "That's either really egotistical or just sad you think we're so bad." Commented one of them to your left, and you would have agreed with her in you weren't under a lot of pressure right now! "I don't know, I'm panicking!"

ꨄ︎ You somehow managed to get through that conversation without outing yourself, but you couldn't spare yourself from your groups disappointment about your actions; And, to be fair, you were disappointed in yourself. They would pull chairs around, forming a circle around you that kind of made you feel like you were in rehab, or in some sort of intervention. "You know you're going to have to tell him at some point, right?" They would point out, "You cannot possibly keep all of this a secret forever. I don't even know how you've managed to hid it from him for seven months!" You would only sigh, "I know! I know... I just don't know how to say it without sounding..." "Insane?", "Mental?", "Like you're a big fat lair?" "Okay rude- but yes!"

ꨄ︎ "Invite him to a show!" Was the agreement you had all came to, even thought it made you queasy even thinking about mixing your K-pop life with your personal life. You were so comfortable with Floyd and you didn't want to mess anything up; You also didn't want to accidentally out your relationship to your fans and cause some sort of havoc that had to be cleared up by your PR team. Nor did you want any of them to go to Floyd's way and do who knows what. But, knowing you also couldn't lie to him forever, you caved in and sent him the tickets in the mail along with a letter:

���︎ "Floyd! You have mail." JD called from the elevator as he came back into the bunker with mail. Everyone was gathered around in the kitchen, talking and slowly waking up; JD only dumped the pile of letters, party invites, and anything else that got stuck in mail onto the counter. He handed Floyd' letter to him personally, with a playful wiggle of the eyebrow. Confused, but a little intrigued, Floyd opened the envelope and read the letter, taking his time and not minding the peeping eyes of everyone around. His brothers, seemed to interested with this letter. "It's tickets?" Floyd mumbled when he reached the end of your letter, noticing the lipstick kiss on the bottom. His cheeks flushed a little, a dorky smile wobbling onto his lips before he coughed and tried to compose himself. He knew he would never hear the end of it from his brothers, who were already snickering! All but for Branch, "Tickets to what?" "Tickets to that band you introduced us to." Floyd mumbled, pulling out 7 VIP tickets to your next concert in Pop Village. Poppy nor Viva could contain their screams as soon as they saw the tickets!

ꨄ︎ Floyd texted you later in the day, thanking you for the tickets. Yet, just as you knew he would, he couldn't help but question where you got them (and if you bought them, how he would pay you back) and why there was only 7 and not 8 (where you not coming?). You could only text him back that he would understand during the concert; which was in a few days time.

ꨄ︎ And then you may or may not have ghosted him... Listen, you were completely freaking out about this new change. Even if it hadn't started yet, you had so much fear you half hoped that you ghosting Floyd would end in him thinking you hated him and he wouldn't come and you never will have to face with the consequences of your own actions. Wow, that actually not sounded so shitty thinking about it. "Oh hey, lover boy is here!" "WHAT?!"

ꨄ︎ Your plan didn't work, Floyd sort of figured everything out after hearing Poppy infodump about the group a day before the show. He was still a little iffy about his assumption that you were a member of this group, yet thought he might right. After all, it would explain a lot about your odd schedule and your recent ghosting. And while Floyd was sitting down, getting comfortable next to his brothers and the ever so excited Poppy, Viva, and surprisingly Clay and Branch, you were freaking out! The others literally kept having to splash water in your face to keep you from backing out, or maybe even passing out. You couldn't believe this was happening, you couldn't believe that he actually came, you couldn't believe- "Come on ladies, we need you on stage now!"

ꨄ︎ During the performance, you kept glancing over where Floyd and his brothers were, so nervous about his reaction. You saw, on several occasions, Viva and Poppy shouting and cheering, dancing with both Clay and Branch and between themselves. Bruce acted like any other dad that was brought to this concert because of his teenage daughter, and Floyd... Oh you were too nervous to get a good look at him. Yet, what you didn't see was that Floyd was your biggest supporter. He was shouted your name with the biggest smile, singing your lyrics (that he so didn't memorize since he got the tickets and even more so when he pieced things together).

ꨄ︎ He's so supportive! <3

ꨄ︎ He was slightly shocked when he first realized who you were, but quickly became your biggest fan! Literally ran to you after the show, couldn't hold himself back from pulling you into such a big hug. Literally was gushing over how amazing your performance was and he was so sorry he ever made you feel like you had to hide this from him. You had to reassure him it wasn't because of anything he did.

ꨄ︎ "Wha- Floyd no! I didn't keep this away from you because you were the problem!" You rushed how instantly as soon as you heart Floyd apologize. You couldn't even believe he would even begin to think that this was somehow his fault, when it was the opposite. "It.. it wasn't?" His look of confusion pulled at your heart so much. The way he pulled away from the hug for a moment, hands still on your shoulders, as he gave you a confused wide-eyed look. You cursed yourself for not telling him earlier! "No, of course not! I was-..." You paused for a moment, biting at the edge of your lip. You thought over your words carefully, "It was... nice to have someone who didn't know who I was. It felt like I could be, you know, normal around you. I didn't have to worry about being stage me because I could just be me!" "Oh..." Floyd seemed like he understood that feeling all too well. You stared at him, your eyebrows scrunching a little in confusion. "What?" "Why do you look like you know exactly what I'm talking about like you've experienced it before?" "Because I do!" Floyd would give you a small smile, "Back in my Brozone days-" "YOU WERE IN BROZONE?!"

ꨄ︎ Floyd may or may not have forgotten to mention he had been a member of BroZone; Whoops!

.ᐟ this work is published and owned by @vacayisland. please do not plagiarize, copy, or steal this work; like, reblogs, and saves are appreciated :D

[lovelytsunoda]

sunday in heaven // jake "hangman" seresin

warm afternoons spent under blankets with hot drinks and paperbacks

jake’s favourite afternoons were spent with his fiancée and his dog, with hot drinks and a good book. nice and calm, different from his every day. but tell anybody that and he’d have to kill you.

pairing: jake seresin x fiancee reader

author's note: i bet this man is the biggest jack reacher fan on the goddamn planet. he will lie to your face about his book collection and then go home and stay up until 5am because 'babe, reacher's about to beat up like eight dudes and then fling one of them out a helicopter.'

"babe, the package is here!"

jake's shout echoes around the small house as he parades into the living room, shaking the amazon box in his hands. their dachshund, roxy, follows behind him, entranced by the cardboard box.

y/n stopped what she was doing, drying her hands off on the dish towel before turning to her fiancee with a giddy look on her face.

"what are you waiting for? let's open it!"

“hold your horses, sweet thing.” jake crooned, placing the box on the kitchen island before sitting down on the barstool, hefting roxy into his arms.

that was the first major misconception about lieutenant jake seresin. everyone who met him assumed he was a german shepherd kind of man, a golden retriever at the least. a large, energetic guard dog. but roxy was the most spoilt little dog in all of fightertown. he loved that dog more than he loved his truck, which was saying something.

roxy sat in his lap, standing up on her hind legs as she licked at his face, his fingers scratching behind her ears. y/n reached over the counter to run her hand over the dog's back a few times, before she pressed a kiss to jake’s cheek, and slipped a knife out of the block to slice the box open.

the small 'j' shaped pendant around her neck glittered as she leaned over to pull the paperbacks out of their box, a wide, giddy smile crossing her face as she flipped through the pages of the wife stalker by liv constantine, inhaling the smell of a brand new, unread book.

across the island, jake smiled at her, a lovesick expression in his eyes. they say that when you know, you know, and the first time she took him to a book store, he knew. he knew when she fangirled over emily henry and her written rom coms, and he knew when she admitted her love for the domestic thriller.

"look at this bad boy." he grinned, reaching for the smaller stack of books that he had picked out for himself, the silhouette of alan ritchson's iteration of jack reacher looking up at him from the cover of bad luck and trouble.

"this is great timing, actually. i finished fool me once while you were working late last night, and i've been waiting for something new to read." y/n giggled, dishes forgotten in the sink as she thumbed through the stack that she had ordered.

the worst thing she could have done for her bank acocunt was date someone who supported her book buying addiction, but some days, when there was a new military or action thriller on the shelves, jake was even worse than she was.

in fact, she seemed to remember waiting in line at barnes and noble for three hours just so that jake could get his hands on a copy of heat 2, based on the film starring, you guessed it, al pacino.

oh, yeah. that was the second misconception about jake seresin: he really liked to read. and he didn't just say that to placate his fiancée. he really did love a good book. he even went as far as to listen to audiobooks when he was at the gym, and had been known to stay up late when he was in the thick of a lee child novel, even if he did have to go to work in the morning.

jake had proposed with a collection of miss marple books and a pink string that had the ring on it. and for his birthday, she had bought him the latest jason bourne novel.

it seemed that the written word had quickly become their love language, a hobby she never thought she would ever share with her significant other. he was also known to read the occasional romance novel, and wasn't shy about making that known when they shared time together in the bedroom.

but if you told anybody on the dagger squad that he had even read one single novel, jake would skin you alive. he was almost mortified when mickey found jake's well-worn copy of the godfather in his locker, but this was before mickey had admitted that he had also read the cult classic.

and when rooster caught jake listening to the audiobook version of one of the original james bond books? they swore never to speak of it again.

when he first confessed this to y/n, she had laughed. not at him, per say, but because he shared the same book taste as her grandfather.

"i've got like, a hundred pages left in the night agent, but i might have to postpone that to a later date now that reacher has arrived." jake hummed, scratching roxy behind the ears, the small dog trying to sniff the three paperbacks that he held.

"you know what that means?"

"fuck yeah i do."

and that's how they found themselves curling up next to each other on the sectional sofa, two warm mugs on the coffee table (black coffee for jake, and a caramel/whipped cream hot chocolate for y/n.) and a plush blanket from coscto.

she snuggled into jake's side, absorbing his body heat as she fluffed the blanket around them. he kissed her on the forehead as she rested her head against his shoulder, glasses perched on the edge of her nose.

true to his word, jake abandoned the night agent on the side table, cracking open his new jack reacher.

this was something that irked y/n.

jake could read three or four books at a time, his attention span and mood reading tendencies sometimes meaning that it took him six months to get through a book that should have taken four days. there was no end to the dog eared paperbacks that jake would leave lying around.

"jake?" she hummed, halfway down the first page of her book as roxy jumped onto the couch, nestling in between their bodies.

"yeah, pretty girl?" he chuckled, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. the most treasured, comforting scent had had ever encountered.

"i love you."

"more than your book boyfriends?" he teased, poking her in the side.

she laughed heartily, kepping a tight grip on her paperback as she pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, trying to keep things chaste. if she even hinted at all that she wanted jake in her bed, neither of them would be starting a book that afternoon. "of course, jackass."

"i love you too, pretty girl. i can't wait to waste the rest of my sundays reading in bed with you."

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @lorarri @cartierre @twinkodium @thatsdemko @sidcrosbyspuck

[garpond]

happy birthday to neil young here are some of my favorite things about him

-by the age of 20 he had owned 3 different used hearses, all of which experienced some form of extreme mechanical failure that caused him to have to get rid of them

-in buffalo springfield whenever he had to go out on a date with a girl he'd tell his friends about it beforehand so that they could interrupt the date to tell him he needed to be somewhere and was late so that he could be allowed to leave

-hated going in grocery stores because he would get overstimulated and have to leave

-didn't like how the first pressing of Comes A Time sounded so he bought 200,000 of the first copies of it and used them as shingles for a barn roof

-when one of his tour buses was destroyed (i forget how) he had it brought to his ranch and buried on the property like a beloved family pet

-his early ambition before music was to be a chicken farmer

-when he and carrie snodgress where dating she'd have a ton of people over sometimes and it gave him anxiety so one evening he decided to open the living room window and crawl out of it to get away from people instead of walking through the room to get to the door because apparently he couldn't wait that long and everyone saw it

-another time he randomly showed up at a neighbors' house and they didn't really know why he dropped in all of the sudden because he wasn't very social and it turns out it was because his manager had set up a meeting for him with the band America and he didn't want to do it so he was hiding

-during buffalo springfield he would hide in peoples closets a lot

-once he was guitar shopping with stephen stills and when he was offering on a guitar stephen offered more money on it to try and get it and it pissed him off so he started bidding higher to kick off a bidding war between then and once it was up to a ridiculous amount of money he just dropped it and was like ok you win lol ! and stephen had to pay an insane amount of money for it

-during one filmed interview with MTV or something he decided to fuck with them by adjusting the position of his hat super slightly every couple seconds so that when they cut the footage together and shifted things out of order it would look confusingly different every time

-during the recording of deja vu he lived by himself in a motel but he brought his 2 pet bush babies (named Harriet and Speedy) and they scared the shit out of Graham Nash

-gave a stranger he met like a week ago unrestricted access to his finances because the guy claimed he was going to help him buy a boat and the guy ended up stealing a couple thousand dollars

-during last buffalo springfield concert he was the only person who was not even remotely sad and on the way home jim messina was literally crying and neil was just like :] the whole way

-one year on his birthday at the ranch there was going to be a party and it was a tradition to have a bonfire at it so he went out into the woods to get sticks for it but somehow managed to grab a bunch of poison oak and it was used at the fire and after that he was not allowed to gather bonfire sticks anymore

-while filming the lincvolt documentary he met a trans woman and when he was interviewing her to ask for her opinion about the car she told him that what he was doing with it was a big change and he should probably ask for the car's permission to do it and he actually did do this later

-"everybodys rockin" originated as an r/maliciouscompliance type of project because while he was on geffen records Old Ways was rejected and the label asked for a "rock and roll album" and this was his response to that

-the infamous Eat A Peach incident

-there is much more but this is all i can come up with rn

[c-m-stuff]

Secret Santa

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are together. It's secret Santa time.

-Warnings: Fluffiness

-Word count: 1157

-Note: A sweet fic for the upcoming holidays. Do you guys love Christmas as much as me?🎄🎁

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

'That was delicious, Dave.' JJ complimented the Italian man, the whole team agreeing.

'You really went all out this year.'

'Of course, I went all out. It's Christmas Eve for God's sake.' he replied, while we all laughed.

'My favorite was the wiiiiine.' Penelope giggled, as she poured herself another glass of wine, causing everyone to chuckle.

It became a tradition to all celebrate Christmas Eve at David's place. It was nice, spending time together without standing next to a dead body. Another tradition was secret Santa. The game you pull blindly a name out of a bowl to thereafter buy a Christmas present for that person. I've always loved it.

'Calm down with the wine, baby girl. We don't want a re-do of last year, when you all told us what's in the presents, before we got to actually open them.'

I giggled at Derek's statement, as I felt someone sitting on the couch next to me. Looking up, it was my genius boyfriend.

After pinning at one another for almost a year, the pretty boy himself admitted his feelings and asked me out for a date. The situation it happened wasn't the normal one, though. It was the end of a workday at the BAU, as the elevator suddenly decided to stop working. While we were in it! After panicking at first, and calling the team, we got stuck for a good hour. Which let us to admit our feelings for one another, all while curled up on the elevator floor. After that, time went on, and so did the dates. And, then there was one special moment were he asked me to be his girlfriend. I am still thankful for that elevator to stop working on that special day.

'It's secret Santa time!' David announced, and everyone went to grab their presents from under the Christmas tree, before heading to the comfortable couch.

JJ pulled Emily's name and bought her a gift card from a nice clothing shop and a tequila bottle. Emily got Aaron and decided to gift him with a black coat and a reading light for if he goes over paperwork in bed. Aaron drew Derek's name and bought him two tickets to a football game and a new tool belt for when he is renovating homes. Derek got David and gifted him new cooking equipment and a bottle of 30 years old scotch. David pulled Penelope's name and decided to gift her a pair of beautiful, pink heels and two tickets to a theater play. Penelope got JJ and presented her with a gorgeous necklace she's been talking about buying but never got around to and a mock with a text saying: "I'm a mom, what's your superpower?".

As everyone was done gifting the other their presents, they all realized Spencer and I drew each others names, considering we're the only ones left.

'Of course the two love birds got each other.' Derek commented, a grin plastered on his face. Although, it didn't went unnoticed by me when Derek winked at JJ, who was already grinning by herself. Then, it hit me that JJ was the one who was in charge of the bowl full of names.

'Okay, pretty girl, you first.' Derek said, as I gave my present to Spencer.

I watched as he carefully tore the wrapping paper off, revealing the first edition copy of the book The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury.

'No (Y/N), you did not!' he exclaimed, enthusiastic.

'How did you- Where did you-' he looked flabbergasted and guilty at the same time.

'You didn't have to, I would have been fine with a gift card from the book store. This must have costed you a fortune.'

'Ahh, not quite, genius. Well, I was last helping my grandparents with moving out. They're going to live in an apartment instead of a way too big house, like I told you. And, surprisingly, I found the book on the attic amongst some other books. I got it for free.' he kept staring at me in shock, still flabbergasted. He instantly wrapped me into a greatful hug, pressing multiple kisses on my head.

'Thank you. Thank you so much!'

'That's not all, pretty boy. Open the book.' I told him, as he did. A gift card from the bookstore revealed. Everyone laughed at the earlier mention of a gift card for books, as Spencer once again thanked me with words and a hug.

Then, he gave me a gift bag, covered with Christmas trees. I took the first thing I felt and tore off the wrapping paper. It revealed a stunning vintage camera. My eyes widened, admiring the, in my eyes, piece of art. I've always adored polaroid photos.

'I remembered you saying that you really wanted one. You wanted to capture moments like these, and that you loved the reality of the photos because you have only one shot.'

'Thank you so much! It's amazing!' I pressed him in a tight hug, before he spoke again:

'There's more, though.'

We ended the hug, as I reached for the bag and took the other present out. I was quick in ripping of the wrapping paper, seeing it was a beautiful notebook. He clearly knows my love for notebooks and this one was covered with blue butterflies. Absolutely gorgeous.

'Thank you! I love it!' once again, we shared a tight hug, as Spencer whispered something in my ear.

'That's not everything.' I pulled back and looked at him with a surprised face.

'There is more?' he nodded, gave me the most sweetest smile, and went down on one knee. I gasped, tears already forming into my eyes.

'(Y/N), you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Since the first day I met you, you were nothing but kind, you listened always to my rambling, and you made me a better person. I love you for for being you. You are beautiful, inside and outside. (Y/N), you are my future. Make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?' I was still shocked and couldn't believe this was happening. My soulmate was proposing. I couldn't be more happy.

'YES! YES, I WILL!' I flew in his arms, everyone cheering and clapping.

Tears were now fully pouring out of my eyes, and it wasn't different for Spencer. My fiancé. It felt so good using that word.

'And, I can't wait for you to be my husband.'

'I can't wait for you to be my wife.' he whispered in my ear, as I did the same with him.

_________________________

[gemini-sensei]

Everything Has Changed Pt. 2 | Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz x Chubby!LaRusso!Reader

○ Part 1 ○

CW: teen pregnancy, angst, forbidden/secret relationship, small enemies to lovers.

"Have you picked what book you're gonna read for the book report in Mrs. Sheete's class?" Hawk asked, reaching across his bed for the book list beside Reader. He looked at it as she hummed in response.

"Mhm," she let out softly, looking up.

She watched him closely, paying attention to the way his eyebrows knit up as he scanned the list. His eyes showed how bored he was with the titles their teacher had given them to choose from. It was quite amusing to watch as he steadily became a little frustrated.

He huffed and set the list aside. "That's bullshit. Everything on there is so fucking old. Why can't we read something, ya know, we can actually relate to?"

Reader smirked but tried to hide it. "I don't know. What would you read and find relatable?"

He looked up at her, unamused with her amusement simply because he didn't want to do the assignment. However, as she leant back on one hand, she used the other to cradle her just-beginning-to-show belly. It was showing to them, at least, when they were alone like this. She could be herself with him unlike any relationship she's had before, romantic or platonic. She could wear whatever she wanted, which included cute striped maternity shirts.

Perhaps he thought it was so cute because he bought it for her. When the opportunity arose to buy himself some new clothes, he'd opted to get her a few things too. He knew it wasn't easy for her get anything for herself with her overbearing family always around. They knew her parents were getting suspicious of her, thought that she was hiding something. So he got her a few shirts.

They were a little baggy, giving a little room for her to grow into. They were comfortable and she loved them, wearing them under an even baggier shirt when she went to school or around her house. Though they both knew that soon enough they wouldn't hide anything. She'd full them out and the fat of her belly would round out in a baby bump.

As he watched her now, understood what she was trying to convey in that simple action - cradling her precious little belly. No one else at their school would be able to read a book about being pregnant and relate to it.

He sighed and avoided her question. "Okay, so it doesn't really matter, right? I mean, it's not as if I could pick a book not on the list anyway."

"Sheete likes you a lot, so maybe you could," Reader suggested.

"No, I'll just pick one of these," he grumbled. She giggled as he took up the paper again and looked at it. "What are you reading?"

"Little Women."

He hummed, then dropped the list. It floated away and fell to the floor. He leaned over their textbooks and notebooks and assignments, grinning at her. "I guess I'll read that too."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why? So you can cheat off my paper?"

He chuckled. "No, of course not. Though having someone to talk over all the riveting topics sounds like a great idea."

She laughed and leaned closer to him. "Sure, whatever you say. I think you're just copying me." Then she pecked his lips. "But I don't mind."

He smiled. "Good, I really don't wanna read anything else."

And he kissed her, supporting himself on both hands so she didn't have to lean over into him too much. His hands, balled into fists, sunk into the mattress and moved all of their school supplies, not that either of them cared. They became too involved in each other to notice or do anything about it, even though the kiss wasn't vigorous or very empassioned. It was sweet and simple and lovely.

She loved it.

As the weeks passed, Reader grew bigger. Her belly rounded out and the pudgy fat that once resided there became a hard bump. It was harder to hide but she managed.

She knew the longer she let the secret dwell, the worse it would be when she told people. But she didn't care. She loved having the pregnancy just her hers and Hawk's. It was theirs to keep, theirs to smile about in his car and talk about in whispers. No one else was involved and it was perfect. It was amazing.

What wasn't so amazing was a charity dinner her parents wanted to drag her and her siblings to for the evening. She didn't care how important it was to them or the business. After the long day she'd had, including a secret doctor's visit with Hawk, all she wanted to do was lay down and sleep. Her feet were killing her but it wasn't as if she could spring the pregnancy on her parents and ask them to go without her.

As she went through her wardrobe, she wandered around her room in nothing but her panties and a maternity shirt Hawk had gotten her. It was solid black but stretched just right to accommodate her bump. She got caught up at the mirror, looking at her reflection as she held her baby bump affectionately.

When she thought about it, she couldn't believe she'd hated Hawk so much before. His rivalry with the Miyagi-Do students wasn't her battle at all, no matter if Sam was in the middle of it all or not. She had no real reason to hate him and the same was true about him. He'd never really hated her, only acted like it because that was "what he was supposed to do" because of her family. She was a LaRusso and Cobra Kai was supposed to hate them for some reason. She chose not to worry with it anymore, especially since their little one was on the way.

She hoped the fighting would be over by the time they were born. As if that were the most pressing issue in all of this, but it was ever-present on her mind. It was all her father and sister could talk about, her friends were caught in the middle of it; Hell, sometimes it was the only thing the school was talking about. It was inescapable and she just wanted it to be over. For her baby's sake.

"Sweetheart, are you ready? We're gonna be late if you-" a voice said from behind her.

Reader turned with a startle, grabbing her shirt to cover her belly. However, it was too late. Her father had seen her bump.

He stared at her for a long moment, standing in her doorway froze. He pointed to her belly and asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Dad, I can explain," she said.

"Then start explaining," he said. He sounded lost, like his mind and body were disconnected. He stared at her expectantly nonetheless and waited for her to start talking.

"Um, well," she said, completely unprepared. Her hands shook and the shirt fell from her hands, revealing her bump once more. She averted her eyes, unable to look at her father. "I'm pregnant..."

He nodded, understanding that much. Perhaps he just had to hear her say it, but that didn't make the situation any better. He looked her over, mouth falling open. "You're so big. How... how could you hide this from us?"

"I'm not that far along, Dad, really. It's just because I'm fat," she said.

"You're not fat, sweetheart," he said, an automatic and well-meaning statement she'd heard her whole life. However, it was misplaced here.

Reader rolled her eyes and huffed, though she felt like she was trying to catch her breath. She was halfway between screaming and crying. This wasn't exactly how she wanted her dad to find out. "I'm fat, Dad. Deal with it because that's not even the problem here."

He was trying to give himself time to let it sink in. That's what Reader told herself, but as she saw the lost look leave his eyes, anger settled in them. And she knew why.

"Who did this?"

"Dad-"

"No, Reader, tell me. Who did this to you?"

"He didn't do this to me," she said, scoffing. "We fucked."

He cringed and waved his hands in the air, not wanting to hear her vulgar description of it. "Sweetheat-"

"Who is he!?"

"Hawk!"

Everything stopped. The air grew tense. Her boyfriend's name left her lips before she could fully think about it and her heart sank, fear gripping it.

Then Daniel turned and marched downstairs.

"Dad!" Reader went after him. She wasn't waddling yet, but it felt like it was just around the corner if she was being honest. "Dad, stop! Where are you going!?"

"Daniel?" Amanda's voice came from the foyer.

Daniel walked past her and grabbed his keys, angrily opening the front door.

"Dad! Please don't do something stupid!"

He turned to look at his daughter, shaking his head. "I'm gonna do anything stupid, dear. I'm just gonna go have a little talk with that- that selfish, moronic, violent snake!"

He slammed the door behind him and Reader jumped. Amanda came to her side and hugged her, only then noticing her bump.

"Oh, honey..."

"Mom, he's gonna kill him!" Reader cried, tears quickly welling in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. She shook horribly and cried in her mother's arms, inconsolable.

"Shh, he's not going to hurt anyone, honey," Amanda whispered, rubbing her daughter's back soothingly. She kissed her head, unsure if she could trust her own words. They were in uncharted territory, and knowing her husband, there was no telling what he'd actually do to the boy. "It's going to be okay."

"But he-he thinks Ha-Hawk is just a punk that knocked me up!" Reader cried. "But we love each other! We really do! This didn't just ha-happen because of something totally stupid! He-he takes such good care of me, M-mom!"

"What's going on?" Sam asked, coming down the stairs. She stopped as she saw her distraught sister crying in their mother's arms.

"Sam, sweetie," Amanda said softly, looking up at her. "Go get your sister some clothes."

"And my phone!" Reader yelled, not meaning too.

She had to warn Hawk that her father was coming for him. She didn't know how he was going to find her boyfriend, but knowing her dad, he had his ways. He always knew where to look and if she knew her dad at all, she'd look for a snake in its den. She just hoped karate training was over.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/13/2024

writing cover letters like "Market Research Firm 953989464860, will YOU be my Valentine?"

also, a fallout 4 femslash fic for femslash feb

listening

Fresh Blood by the Eels off their 2009 album Hombre Loco. i would say this is another "i think a vampire probably wrote this low, grooving track" but there are several howls featured. wikipedia says it is about a werewolf. this song sounds like it has a simple bassline and simple drums but it knows what it's about. it's probably secretly really complicated but i specced in knowing about fabric, not about music.

it makes me want to ice skate really fast and also sounds like watching broken highway lane dividers go by late at night. fascinating that the back half of the four-plus minute song is fully instrumental. definitely a song for when you are traveling, or perhaps proceeding. spotify

Sun down on the sorry day By nightlights the children pray I know you're probably gettin' ready for bed Beautiful woman get out of my head I'm so tired of the same old crud Sweet baby I need fresh blood

i've been mainlining The Black Keys' album Brothers so it makes sense this popped up on my Discover Weekly spotify playlist

-

reading

in 2015, the year i dropped out of college, the closest comic/weird nerd shit store was a forty minute drive from my house. i bought the first issue of the serialized anthology comics magazine The Island bc i liked the Moebius-esque cover by Brandon Graham, before i knew who either of those artists were or that i liked them. i think it was ten bucks, and having to show my drivers' license really sticks in my brain for some reason. the point i am slowly approaching is that the magazine only ran for fifteen issues, and i didn't buy any other copies bc ten bucks a month was too dear for me, but it was a tremendous incubator for artists i would end up loving. about half the time i stumble across a lovely self-contained book that knocks my socks off i find out it started life in The Island.

All his life, Hank Cho wanted to join the ranks of the Habsec—the rulers of the orbital habitat his people call home. But when he finds a powerful, forbidden weapon from the deep past, a single moment of violence sets his life—and the brutal society of the habitat—into upheaval. Hunted by the cannibalistic Habsec and sheltered by former enemies, Cho finds himself caught within a civil war that threatens to destroy his world. A new barbarian sci-fi adventure by SIMON ROY (PROPHET, JAN'S ATOMIC HEART, Tiger Lung), originally serialized in ISLAND MAGAZINE.

Simon Roy's Habitat asks: do you want to hear a story about a generation ship gone wrong? this is a guy who really knows how to draw mechs and all their fiddly bits and loves doing it, which is a really transferrable skill to lovingly detailing the crumbling brutalist neo-mesoamerican architecture. the Habsec cannibals and their bits and pieces of scavenged armor blend in so well, it's genuinely shocking when we see someone in full, kept up, incredibly colorful armor. gorgeous, gorgeous book. love a fucked up generation ship.

found while perusing the stacks of the library that was closest to a bunch of other admin errands i was running, bc i finally have a tx drivers license and can start collecting tx library cards

-

watching

im also asking myself why the hell i'm watching yellowstone with my bestie and her husband. it has every trigger warning and a lot of them would make me decline the experience had i looked them up beforehand. however, the inevitablilty of each little tragedy feeding into the circular threshing maw that is the Dutton family is really clicking for me. like well! that mom sure did die in the most traumatizing way possible! and wow that really does go a long way toward explaining why the daughter is self-medicating to an alarming degree AND why no one else is doing anything about it bc they're all still mad at her for being very tangential to her mom's death!

the amount of Stuff that happens per episode is truly astonishing. one of my favorite parts of the ttrpg Beamsaber is the downtime between missions, bc you get to have some really bonkers interactions with people who don't usually interact. despite its huge cast, Yellowstone doesn't yet feel incoherent or like it's jumped the shark in its first season bc it's really successful at getting its huge cast to have unexpected interactions with each other. this sounds a little bit like praising it for knowing how to be good television, but this is a neowestern about a land grab that's also a familial dynasty drama that's really leaning into the familial dynasty part of it. it would be very easy for this to become incoherent or bad at switching between storylines, but so far it's really good at it. it's not beamsaber or black sails bc nothing will ever be beamsaber or black sails but it's really scratching that itch of many small rapidly shifting factions and rapidly shifting political goals bc each child is their own horrible little faction and they have a lot of time where they're trapped in cars or helicopters together getting around their ranch, which is simply too large.

we're trying to watch the yellowstone franchise in release order, and the yellowstone prequel with tim mcgraw came out between the first and second seasons. we will not be continuing this. this is a bog standard wagon train western. cripplingly boring after the brazen insanity of the first season. also i think it is in poor taste at best and irresponsible at worst to show a suicide on screen.

i said i don't know why i'm watching this but i do know why i'm watching yellowstone, and that's bc my bestie keeps seeing tiktoks about it. sometimes im influenced in real life

-

playing

changed my sheets this week and didn't chortle at the TOP OR BOTTOM tag which is how i know im having. a brain time. another way you can tell im having a brain time are these screenshots of the Breath of the Wild map. as you may or may not remember from last week, last week i had very little of the map filled out.

now is this EXPLORED? good heavens no. i have under 40 shrines DISCOVERED. i have simply beelined to each tower and went VERY fast. or was very sneaky. the three towers i have not bothered to climb yet are the ones i would have to actually fight some guys about. fuck the akkala tower for real.

i love to accidentally get way too close to dragons and die. some fun things about this run: incredibly, exceptionally rainy. except for the stint in the literal desert and the five minutes in the snowfield it has been raining about 70% of the time, which has made climbing very annoying. another fun thing about this run: exceptionally low ancient shaft drop rate, which makes getting ancient arrows to safely kill guardians from afar very difficult. bc as discussed above i have optimized this little blond boy to be very fast and very sneaky to get up the towers very quickly in the two minute spans of time it is not raining.

another fun thing about this run: not very good at successfully spitting out riders next to horses. you can only see the tip of spinch's hat bc he is underground.

i have unlocked the elephant and the falcon, i haven't gotten much farther than finding painkillers for the goron boss and stalled out at the yiga clan stealth mission. bc despite liking being a sneaky fast sniper out in the world, i fucking hate an enforced stealth mission. i don't think i ever got past this part in my other run either.

not jacked enough to unlock the master sword, i think you need twelve hearts? i would rather have more stamina so i can get faster horses + the princess's horse.

after i unlocked a bunch of towers i spent a goofy amount of time in the Lake Floria system herself hunting for treasure chests (there are easily fifty chests in the water. wild) to get the 10k rupees to unlock the last great fairy. i also spent several real-life hours video game mining video game ore. this was deeply annoying bc i sold off all my gems to get 10k rupees and then had nothing to get those sweet sweet high level upgrades with. this was the point on sunday night where i realized i was getting irrationally annoyed with a game that is supposed to be fun, and is NOT meant to support the kind of grinding i was doing. that was enough video game for one day thank you.

did you know there's a korok in the shrine of resurrection? me either.

also did you know magnesis ACTIVATES on the windmills in Hebra but i can't figure out how to get close enough to any of them to do anything about it. annoying.

this has got to be so funny from ganons point of view. i unlocked the elephant and the falcon in under a week of in-game time and then spent several in-game months mining and collecting clothes. would that make ganon more or less anxious d'you think

making

cross stitch update. this confetti in the rover square. i am dying. here’s what it will look like finished, and a link to buy the pattern

i had such high hopes for pin stitches as a thread finishing method but i had to rip out a mistake near a pin stitch and accidentally ripped out the entire pin and single confetti cross stitch. so what the fuck. i am an insane woman who likes to fully submerge and lightly hand wash projects before they get framed to remove all the oils (yes i wash my hands before stitching, i do get paranoid) and i am not confident pin stitches will hold up to that. oh well. the loop method is pretty great in halving the number of ends i have to weave in, even though i feel like it is extremely wasteful and leaves me with lots of short useless lengths my cats would love to eat. so the gains from halving thread management are really not offset by the meticulous cat management i must embark upon every time i do my fun relaxing hobby.

and the back, which is a horror. and will only become more of a horror. but once this is framed no one will actually see it so it's FINE. i am FINE with this. i started this knowing there was going to be lots of confetti. that's the point of this masochistic pattern

i wrote the first chapter of this fic last summer and outlined the emotional beats (but not much else) while procrastinating moving and have finally lightly polished the first chapter and threw it on the archive. im trying to let things molder less and just fucking post them in the hopes this activates the writing part of my brain again but who could say what's going on up there. this is still something that hasn't quite returned to me post-covid round 2

this will eventually be an E-rated 5+1 fic fixing all the fucking bullshit around Cait Fallout4's companion quest. she will NOT go in the magic chair that tortures her into not being a junkie and being the perfect waifu. she is going to stumble backwards and accidentally into some harm reduction and get railed by a mean top. the mean top and the harm reduction won't fix her but they certainly won't hurt.

[resowrites]

Fuzzy Pumpkin - drabble.

Summary: Henry’s taken aback by his gf’s latest purchase.

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, dialogue heavy, language, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 429

A/N: Welp I can’t do Flufftober after all, I wasn’t happy with my entries either so they’ve been removed. Please enjoy this post though, not sure when I’ll be back ~ R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! No copyright infringement intended, gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Fuzzy Pumpkin - drabble.

The sound of Henry's raucous laughter almost made her jump. She quickly entered the living room to find him hugging himself on the sofa with his head thrown back. She let out a breath and took a seat next to him, placing two cups down on the coffee table. "What's so funny?" He still couldn't form words but pointed eagerly to the coffee table. "What, you idiot?" He took a few deep breaths and rubbed his eyes.

"This! What the fuck is this?!" He grabbed the pumpkin ornament that had been resting there.

"A pumpkin, darling."

"Oh really? Didn't know they did fuzzy ones." Henry's laughter got the better of him once again.

"It's not fuzzy, it's 'flocked,'" she said matter of factly.

"'Fucked,' did you say?" She bit her lip, determined not to smile.

"Flocked! Flocked!" She snatched it from his hand and bopped him on the arm with it.

"As in, you 'flocked' to buy it?" She pursed her lips but decided to reach down the side of the sofa anyway, Henry's mischievous look be damned. "You looking for the receipt?" She ignored him and produced from a bag another, smaller pumpkin. He broke down completely. She bit the insides of her mouth to keep from laughing as she took her time positioning the two pumpkins in front of her. He eventually managed to collect himself but had to use his shirt to wipe his face this time. "Well, I suppose one fuzzy pumpkin would look odd." Her eyes fell to the larger one and what else she could do besides bop him with it. "Hey, easy now… you only just bought them." She finally snickered but folded her arms. "What else did you buy?" She sniffed sharply and ignored his devilish grin.

"Just a candle."

"Oh, what scent?" The look she gave him was so fierce he snorted hard. She then sighed and fetched the bag.

"Oh darling, you know I'm only joking."

"Too late, you've ruined it." Henry giggled.

"Aww no! You know I think there's a pumpkin patch near here, what if I take you to get some real ones?"

"No thank you, I want these ones." He sighed and flung his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest for a cuddle.

"Well, I suppose you know best. Still, I'll see if I can pick up a nice one in Sainbury's… there's got to be one there that doesn't look like you from behind." She smirked.

"Yeah, cos it’ll look like you from the front." Henry choked on his tea.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@marytudorbrandon @inlovewithhisblueeyes @pinkhippo44 @luclittlepond @kebabgirl67

[thoughtyouwerentafraidofanything]

can you do frankenkyle and reader go out and kyle get horny and wont stop asking and rubbing himself and reader has to help him out in the bathroom so he wont embarrass her outside anymore

Help me

Pairings: frankenkyle x female reader

Summary: you go clothes shopping and bring Kyle with you, what happens shocks you completely.

Warnings: smut, public sex, grinding, begging, instructed sex.

Authors note: my first frankenkyle fic woohoo!!

Kyle had been weird all day.

The first thing to happen to you that morning was him walking in on you getting changed. He didn't know what to do, standing at your door his eyes were glued to your half naked body. It was only when you shuffled over to him and shut the door in Kyle's face that he wasn't ogling you.

When you invited him out with you he was extremely happy to have been asked and stuck to your side.

As you were walking through the Isles of clothes, browsing what was on display you didn't notice that Kyle would stop and stare at the lingerie model photos. He almost blew him head off seeing you holding a pair of lingerie up to your body and inspect yourself.

You thought nothing when Kyle's hand laid of your lower back, you thought he was becoming nervous and seeking comfort in someone.

It was when his body slowly started to sneak closer to yours, you hadn't noticed he was so close to you until his hips were pushing on yours.

Kyle didn't make eyecontact with you when doing so, he also avoided your eyes when you scolded him for not respecting your personal space, not mentioning the part where you felt embarrassed because of his strange behaviour

You and Kyle continued looking through shelves of clothes and Kyle kept inching closer to your body, you would have to physically push him away to remove his hands or hips from you.

Wanting to try on your clothes, you knew you couldn't leave Kyle outside on his own, who knows what could happen to him. Coming to the final option you walked Kyle over to the changing rooms preparing to take him in with you.

One problem

It was a women only changing room.

Sneaking Kyle into the changing room with you was easier than you had expected, the lady at the counter who was meant to be watching over how many items you would enter the rooms and leave with and would monitor and control who went into the changing stalls was bust eyeing up her phone typing away like her life depended on it.

Rushing past the occupied stalls you held Kyle by the wrist and pushed him into an empty stall before dragging the long thick black curtain shut to conceal you and your partner.

Kyle was sat on the small stool every changing room seemed to have, his arms were full of hangers adorned with clothes you had picked out to try on and hopefully buy.

You had hared your closet, it was full of old, worn out clothes that just didn't suit you anymore and you wanted to change that. That was when you had forced Kyle to go shopping with you, he didn't seem to mind aslong as you bought him a few things during the trip.

"Now kyle" you bend down to his level and quietened your tone, if people hears you talking to someone they'd either become suspicious of you or think you were crazy and that you were talking to yourself, " you can't speak in here, you have to be quiet okay?"

You emphasised your words by putting a finger to your lips which Kyle copied and nodded his head at you.

Smiling you stood back up and look at yourself in the large ceiling to floor mirror, your outfit was dull and boring a pair of old ruined jeans and a washed out yellow blouse.

You never understood why you had bought what you were wearing but that didn't matter now as you were aiming to trash the old and purchase the new.

Your hands got to work unbuttoning your blouse until all of the buttons were out of their designated slots and your bra was exposed from the opening in your top.

You were about to ask Kyle to hand over a sheer long-sleeved top you had found when you noticed he looked as if he was about to faint.

His eyes stayed still on the fabric of your bra until you had leaned over and grabbed the top from Kyle's hands, you didn't think he would bother about getting a closer look.

Ever since Kyle was resurrected he had taken a liking to you, you would have to pry him off of you just to get a moment to yourself. You never understood his sudden attachment to you as you didn't play a role to help him learn things or try to remeber things.

You simply left him be, sometimes fed him when you were cooking for yourself and he was hovering or when it was just yourselves alone and you had no other option than to provide for his helpless self.

Now you didn't completely ignore Kyle, you would go out on walks, take him with you to go grocery shopping or to the mall but not very often, just when no one else wanted or could go with you except him.

Slipping the blouse off your shoulders you fix your fallen bra strap that had moved whilst you were removing the cloth and began to slip the new short over your head.

With the see through top secured on your body you stared at yourself in the large mirror inspecting your already improved outfit, your bra and chest was completely visible to any and everybody but you didn't care.

It was when you went to take your pants off that you saw Kyle through the mirror practically drooling over all of your movements.

"What, never seen a girl In her underwear?"

You carried on pushing down the fabric of your jeans down your legs until they pooled at your ankles to which you stepped out of and turned to yourself in the mirror.

"Skirt"

Kyle obeyed your command and shakily handed you the first skirt ontop of the pile of clothes concealing his lap.

Pulling it to your waist you inspected the length and design on your body, it wasn't your favourite but you could get away with pairing it with another top so decoded to keep it.

Taking both the top and skirt off you place the clothing back onto the hangers they came on when a cold gust of wind hit your ankles making you turn around to kyle. All of the clothes you had picked out and made sure weren't damaged had been dumped onto the floor at Kyle's feet, white tops and dresses where covered in whatever dort was on the flooring.

You went to scold Kyle for dirtying your clothes when you saw his chest move deeply, his body was wedged into the corner of the small changing room where he was making himself as small as possible.

Your eyes scanned over his body, past his hammering chest and fidgeting hands, you decided to not give Kyle the time of day instead, order him to pick your clothes back up and hand you another skirt you had picked out.

He did as told and handed over the skirt, he watched wide eyed as you leaned over in nothing but your underwear and bra and begin to step into the skirt.

Cold hands pinched at the skin of your waist as a rough material was pressing against yohr ass from behind. Standing up confused you turn your head and see and feel Kyle's body flush against yours, his hands rubbing nervously at your waist and hips, his bottom lip quivering and his pelvis pushing into you.

"W-what are you doing"

Mutterings left Kyle's lips but you couldn't make sense of what he was saying, the feeling of his body pushing against yours and the rising temperature of the stall distracting you.

Your skirt was pooled at your ankles as you hadn't pulled it up due to the interaction with Kyle.

You heard quiet whines and small gasps for air from behind you and felt something hard prodding at you from behind, you weren't stupid you knew what had happened.

Kyle had been watching you stripping infront of him, you hadn't thought he would've though of anything about it, and had gotten riled up seeing you lean over him in your bra or bend over in your underwear.

"H-...h.."

Kyle's words were cut short due to his erratic breathing, his voice whenever he cpuld make out a word was high polished and whiney.

"Help...m-me.."

He was begging you

If Kyle wasn't busy trying to ram his hips up into yours he would be on his knees with his head to the floor begging for you to touch him.

You took his hands in yours and turned to face him, bodies still close In proximity,

"Is this why you were acting strange earlier"

Pathetically Kyle nodded and continued to grind his hips onto your body trying to relieve some of the built up tension in his lower half.

Wetting your bottom lip you think for a few moments letting Kyle soak in last and impatience.

"If I help you will you stop embarrassing me"

You were answered with quiet whines and breathless moans but knew this is what Kyle wanted.

Reaching behind you, you unclip your bra allowing it to fall loosely down your arms and expose your chest.

Kyle swallowed a lump as he stared at your bare skin, his hands were acheing to reach out and touch you, the way your nipples had perked from the cold air-conditioning in the stalls.

Your warm hand wrapped around the back of Kyle's hand, holding it to your breast you then dropped your hand letting Kyle explore your upper body in his own pace.

You were allowing him to do anything he wanted.

Both of his hands were cupping your breasts as Kyle's mind went numb from the feeling of him touching you. As Kyle was now fixated with your boobs you r hands reached down to his pants, tugging them loose you felt a breath of relief hit your skin as you had sunk your hand into his briefs letting his election spring free.

It was when you stepped back away from him a feeling of hurt shot through his heart only to be replaced by a flutter of excitement.

Kyle's wide eyes watched as you pressed your chest to the wall of the changing room, your back arched sticking your ass out giving Kyle another show.

Your underwear was next to go, you had instructed Kyle to walk closer to you, and, with your assistance Kyle's fingers hooked at the sides of your underwear and slowly lulled them from your body letting the fabric fall to the floor.

Snaking one hand behind you, you widened your legs allowing Kyle to shuffle closer to you. With your hand you held Kyle's cock between your fingers and let him feel your most intimate part. Slowly you would rub his shaft in-between your legs coating Kyle's dick with your wetness.

Nothing was going through Kyle's mind besides a loud buzzing and a deep thumping from his heart. The heat from you teasing him made his hips messily thrust forward in-between your legs, the feeling of his tip pressing against your clit surged through you with every thrust making your head spin.

Breaking out from the pleasure haze you were in youreaxhed down in-between your legs and held the tip of Kyle's cock. Slowly you helped position the head at your entrance and with the help of your hips moving down on him and your fingers sliding kyle into you, Kyle's cock was stuffed into you to the hilt

You felt quick breaths patter down onto the back of your neck, you hummed out content with how felt inside of you and waited for him to move in his own time.

When that didn't happen for a while you turned your head around to look at him. Kyle's face was a masterpiece, his mouth hung open , eyes struggling to stay open. The way your cunt would clench around his length subconsciously made his mind blow.

"Kyle...we can't be in here for too..long"

You whispered to him hoping that would snap him out of his stillness.

Slowly you felt Kyle pull out of you and press back in, the slow pace he used gradually sped up but not so fast that a loud noise would be made from the two of you

Your torso was pressed against the wall of the changing room, your ass stuck out letting Kyle enter you easier, you were letting Kyle use you for his own needs, even if that meant having sex in a changing room.

You bit down on your tongue suppressing any moans that threatened to escape your mouth, however Kyle hadn't grasped the idea of being quiet.

You reached a hand behind your head and shakily felt around for Kyle's mouth, pressing down on his lips the loud grunts and gasps for air were concealed by you.

You felt Kyle's cock speed up inside of you, the feeling of him dragging against your pussy and hit a certain spot almost made you double over, the feeling of Kyle's cock pushing into you, rubbing along your walls which gripped at him urging him to continue thrusting becoming too much.

Kyle's thrust began to get harder, less controlled, they were becoming needy. His hands clamped down on your hips pulling you down on him to meet all of his thrusts.

Reaching down yourself your index and middle began to trace circles across your clit, the stimulation from Kyle's cock and your fingers sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. The way your pussy clenched around Kyle made his head spin, your fingers speeding up caused you to clench around Kyle, a loud shocked 'Aah' left his mouth before a long sigh.

You could feel Kyle's cock twitch inside of you emptying everything he had into you. Keeping Kyle's dick inside of you your fingers began to shake, the feeling of your orgasm fast approaching caused you to splutter out random vowels.

When it hit you your body flew back into Kyle's, his arms lazily wrapping atound your waist stopping you from falling, your eyes were sparkling from the feeling of your high cooling down.

Slipping Kyle's soft dick out of you, you whispered breathlessly for him to tuck himself back into his pants as you yourself tugged your underwear up to your hips.

Throwing your clothes back on you swing open the large curtain, face red and ears buzzing.

Your heart sunk when a lady dressed in a two piece suit wearing an ear piece stood infornt of your changing stall, behind her two large security guards.

[minevn]

how would they react if mc was an idol

Minato: He was surprised at first, I mean YOU'RE friends with HIM?! The fisherman? He probably takes it upon himself to be a sort of guard dog for you. I mean the reason you met him in the first place was to escape a stalker but now he can only imagine how many you must have being an idol and all. Overall he still treats you like a person because you are, just because you're an idol doesn't mean you're a holy being. In an idol au he probably would be a personal bodyguard.

Haruto: I think it'd be surprising if he didn't know, like if you kept it a secret from him and became an idol. But assuming you weren't hiding your aspirations to be an idol, Haruto definitely supports you in any way he can! He knows the risks of being an idol but he would never stop you from doing what you dream, at most he'll probably talk to you about backup plans. Any stalker you get he threatens. He protects you as much as he can and if anyone tried to threaten you or dox you or tried to spread rumors to get you canceled Haruto will take care of it. He also takes it upon himself to take care of you even more cause he's worried about the expectations you have as an idol. In an idol au I think he'd be your manager or something!

Jun: One of your biggest fans! Has all the merch of you(Like bought every single copy so no one else could have any, of course there have been a few misses to Yani, Jun will fight to the death with Yani to get those copies) goes to all of your concerts, front row tickets, has made merch herself. Argues with anyone who says they're a bigger fan then Jun(aka Yanikei) On Spotify wrapped all of your songs are at the top and is fighting Yani to be your top listener. The y/n fandom hate Jun LMAO In an idol au I think Jun would make your outfits!

Hoshi: Theres a few way I think this could go. One, if you worked with him at the restaurant before becoming an idol(And before getting close to him) he's flabbergasted. You left and became an idol?! He might actually think you're a little cool as he checks out your music and pretends not to like it. If you never worked at the restaurant and therefor never met Hoshi I think he'd be a shameless fan. Despises whoever keeps buying all your merch. and finally if you two are close/dating, I think he'd be surprised but super supportive! If you talk about your dreams Hoshi pushes you towards it believing that you can do it 1000000%. He def gets jealous about the attention you recieve and give to others, it's okay though, he knows they'll never have what you two have! Possibly a second bodyguard.

Habiki: I think no matter what he'd really admire you and support you! Habiki loves listening to the music you make and you inspire him to pursue his own dreams. He'd love it if you wanted to perform together or something, depends on what kind of music you're going for, but either way he'll support you and you two will be the music couple. Doesn't really care about the endless love confessions you get because you're with him, not them. If they make you uncomfortable though, he'll do something about it

Kage: Supports you whenever and however he can! He definitely hates not getting any of your merch, but he managed to get ONE! And probably makes his own merch although it never turns out SUPER well, he has a bit of craftiness in his hands from some of the jobs they worked at. Besides, it's their own special merch that no one else has of you and he thinks that's pretty special. Idk if you guys have ever seen this anime but it's called "akkun to kanojo" and the guy has his entire room with pictures of her and yeah I think that would be Kage(Also I know it's def not the only anime to do that but it was the only one I can think of rn) Keeps it a secret that he's a fan, he doesn't want you to think that that's why he's dating you when he just has liked you for a really long time.

Kei: Another huge supporter. Donates you so much money. Hates Jun and Yani for buying all your merch(He's stolen a few pieces from them and now they're looking for the culprit which they assume to be each other.) He'll help you with anything you need, dealing with stalkers or paparazzi, he's got you covered. A healthy schedule, he's got you. He'll do anything you want or need him to. Has a secret room that's just a shrine for you(Just canon) I can't see much changing honestly, he's protective and loves you a lot as is, being an idol doesn't change how he viewed you.

Yani: Yani HATES Jun and himself for missing your merch drop, he should've been the one to get all your merch!! Goes to every one of your concerts, watches any show you go on, listens to your music on loop every day and every night, even when it's sleeping. Super supportive of everything you do! If someone even looks at you in a way Yani doesn't like(aka just looks at you) Yani is getting rid of them. Probably gets the most jealous of the attention you gain but its fiiiiine you're hers<3 Has also made merch for you herself, it looks really good! Has also copied official merch that she missed and it looks spot on!

(all in all they just really support you and everything you do, they'd never make you quit your dreams just because they're jealous of the attention you garner, they want you to be happy and if being an idol makes you happy then they put their entire being into supporting you! They're all fighting for the number one fan spot though LMAO You being an idol isn't a reason they like you(more) or view you on a higher pedestal then themselves or others, they do that because they genuinely like you as a person :3)

[moonlight-tmd]

ife bumblebee was small, like human small, I'd bet he'd go into a store and not come out without buying something.

I strongly believe if he were to go into walmart, costco, or any big store, he'd be 100% amazed. he'd want to see everything in that store.

lol i actually had an idea of what if he was toy-sized. He's basically the size of a teddy bear and when in alt mode he really looks like a RC Car.

Like, Sari would bring him to the shopping trips with some employees that babysit her or something and buy him countless of doll accessories to wear or mini versions of things. All the shopping trips have a requirement of him getting something from it.

When he's toy-sized, he can easily make himself have a spa with a big bowl and hot water and bubbles. Sari is defo in on it too.

He once taped a controller to a drone and flew around on it. Now it's his 2nd favorite thing after skating.

Another thing is that he's honestly surprised how warm Sari feels when she's hugging/cuddling him. He likes it, the hugs were very nice to begin with but the warmth radiating off of her is just adding to the coziness- he fell into recharge like that more than once.

Ya know, it would be funny if he got ever so slightly bigger- like Sari's size- before the lazer gun broke again and Ratchet needed another day or two to fix it. (Spoiler; he took an entire week cuz this shit kept breaking during repair)

He'd go on a rampage with buying clothes, he would defo wear one of Sari's copy-paste dresses. He'd get a baseball cap, some loose pants and one of these hoodie-shirts, he looks like the Cool KidTM from any 2000's movie.

One bad thing is that people constantly point at him and call him a robot kid, especially other younger kids. It's pissing him off, he ain't a child! And he really wants to drop kick that teen who made fun of him- the only thing holding him back is that he'll get in big trouble with Optimus if he hurt a human.

You cannot tell me that this bot did not walk into a Target and didn't come out with some big game-themed t-shirt. He's gonna go to every place possible that he could not have gone into before. Every.

I mean, Cybertron had fashion stores with cosmetic upgrades or restaurants or normal food shops. But this- this is fuckin 1000 times better. Everything is so colorful and there's music and omg the decor and statues at the mall are amazing.

He really wants to eat all the foods they serve purely because they look so good.. But Ratchet will chew him inside out for that. Plus the tank cleaning is not pleasant at all.

I bet he's gonna bother Prowl to eternity to give him a ride- like in games. I can imagine Prowl having just mentally given up and driving him around so he'll shut up. They get to go full speed on a forest road and all the fallen leaves fly behind them and drift on some stray roundabout. Bee is so happy and Prowl is not as disappointed as he thought he'd be.

It's still very strange for him to ride in his teammates cabins- or on Prowl, but it has it's perks, so far the most impressive cabin in his opinion is Optimus'. He bought them all those fluffy cubes so they'd match. Optimus doesn't really like them but he doesn't have the Spark to take them out and make Bee sad, Bulkhead likes them; they are cute, Ratchet- the cubes don't bother him as much as he thought so they can stay. Prowl has them tied around on one of the handles- he would take them off but they're just out of his reach on the back.

Bee has a fun time while it lasts. Not sure if this si the answer you wanted but you got an answer alright.

[menalez]

reddit game anon reporting for duty with context (pls note: it is ridiculous, even moreso with context. somehow - and it's a lot, sorry) first, the post was titled: "AITA for leaving the restaurant when my gf admitted she's been lying to me for 10 years?" (the post was deleted, but the comments are still there & there's a copy of the post on the am I the Devil reddit for anyone who's curious)

This is OP's story:

he (34) has been dating his gf (28) for 10 years

he got her a very expensive silver bracelet for valentines day, which she wore when they went out to eat with their friends

one of the friends comments on the bracelet and upon finding out it's a gift from bf says that it's odd bc she thought gf doesn't wear silver jewellery

op says that his gf does in fact wear silver jewellery bc he has been buying her expensive jewellery for 10 years

gf sheepishly admits that she rlly prefers gold and if she's buying jewellery for herself she buys gold

op is angry and embarrassed. he asks why she never bothered to tell him & she says she didn't want to upset him and she was just happy he thought of her.

op tells her that it's stupid, that he spends a lot of money to make her happy & not to feel good about himself. he then left the restaurant

he gets a hotel room for the night bc he's frustrated by her attitude & gf is leaving the next day to go back to her home state for a few days

he argues he didn't storm out (he only stood up and left) and he's hurt his gf didn't communicate with him and feels like she owes him an apology or an admission that she was wrong

From his comments:

"Am I supposed to send her a survey after every birthday now?" in response to smn asking him if he ever asked her what she liked or if he just started buying things without ever asking for her input

"…the first thing I bought her was a necklace for her birthday before we were officially dating. She was really appreciative, I remember she even teared up and thanked me. So after that I just bought similar silver things because she liked that first necklace a lot."

"You can't have an adult conversation with her about anything I promise you. If there's any sort of confrontation she just agrees with whatever you say and asks to move on." and a few comments later: "She's very mature and intelligent and kind… I enjoy hearing her opinions."

"She's generally very sweet and agreeable which is one of the reasons I like her so much in the first place, in 10 years I don't think I've ever seen her upset or complain." & he also says she's very selfless

he says that she almost exclusively wears what he bought her when they're together, but according to his sister she wears gold when she's w/out him. he asks how he was supposed to know

he's embarrassed because she told the truth to him in public and it made him look like a bad boyfriend

"Genuinely was going to propose this year but buying a ring sounds stressful now."

"Yes it's a pattern that she keeps everything to herself and it does frustrate me. My family (mostly my sister) often gets after me for "walking all over her" and idk how to tell them that she literally doesn't have opinions."

oh my god what a literal MANBABY... and i doubt shes just "without opinions" if this man literally got up and left in the middle of a dinner in front of a bunch of ppl because. she prefers gold over silver.

[diana-fortyseven]

You know I've got to drop that ⭐ 😊

OMG I've been dying to talk some more about this one specific headcanon I briefly mentioned in Ready for Take-Off [NSFW], how it started, and what other headcanons are related to this one.

I love Patient Zero. The entire campaign is so good, so much fun (yes, even the Sniper Assassin mission is decent, although I would've preferred a "normal" one). So many things to love about Patient Zero, but what I love the most is exploring locations during a different time of day (Sapienza at midnight? Nighttime Bangkok? Hokkaido in the morning? YES PLEASE!) and the briefings before the missions and the cinematic after the last mission.

Really, really hoping for a continuation of this side story... Year 3, anyone?

Follow me to Sapienza.

When we acquire the Super Fan disguise and attend the photoshoot with Craig Black, we learn that 47 has read all the Cassandra Snow books.

"The first two books make it obvious that Cassandra's estranged father is the gentleman killer. The confrontation with him is set up to be her defining moment - specifically the séance at the end of book three. And then, suddenly that turns into a poorly written reconciliation instead of the clean break it was obviously meant to be. Care to explain yourself?"

It makes sense, he's very thorough, of course he read them to prepare for the mission involving the author behind them. Hell, he took advanced drumming classes in preparation for his hit on Jordan Cross!

The book we see in the next briefing could be the copy he bought before the mission in Sapienza... or it's a signed copy he got there, either for himself or as a gift for Diana (this is where this headcanon connects to the "47 buys souvenirs for Diana on his missions" headcanon I mentioned in Water Cooler Talk).

And then I read Death and Orchids (if you can only read one fic this week, pick this one!!), and everything fell into place for me and the Headcanon Hare (closely related to the Plot Bunny) found its new home in my brain:

Diana and 47 are reading the same books.

It helps them feel less alone when they're apart, and their shared hobby gives them something to talk about. We all know that 47 isn't the best at having a normal conversation... Their little book club makes it easier for him.

Keep in mind that we're talking about Diana and 47 here. Would they pick highbrow literature? Well, maybe.

But at one point, during their "we're totally strangers" airport meetings, they realised that they didn't have a book yet for their long flights in opposite directions, and so they visited the airport bookstore (totally as strangers), where one of them picked a book and the other had to buy the same once they were gone.

It was 47's turn to choose a book, and it was ... bad. Instead of complaining, Diana decided to one-up (or one-down?) him when it was her turn, and from there on it spiralled downwards.

Both of them have since accepted that reading bad books is their guilty pleasure now, and they're thriving. 🥰

[cinnamon-notes]

I got my copy of Kafka's letters to Milena from the flea market. I had already bought some books at this man's stand, so he was like my trusted second-hand books seller LOL One time, I was just looking. I didn't come to buy anything. Although, when I'd gone to grab a book, another one fell off. It was hidden behind huge piles of books and it was nearly impossible to notice it. However, it fell off the back of the stand. It was Kafka's letters to Milena. I – again, a hopeless romantic who doesn't believe in coincidences – decided that I had to buy it because it hadn't fallen off the stand for no reason at all. So I showed up in front of him with that book in my hands. He saw me, shook his head, and chuckled. I was like, WTF??? And he confessed he had tried everything to hide it because he wanted to get it himself at the end of the day, so he had carefully thought of ways to keep people away from it. And I told him I didn't exactly find it, but it found me instead. And he ended up telling me why he loved Kafka's letters to Milena and he taught me the correct way to pronounce her name, because apparently you have to stress the first syllable but I've always thought you were supposed to stress the "e" of the second one. And that's how I befriended a literature-nerd middle-aged man and got my old and annotated copy of Kafka's letters to Milena for a cheaper price than he was supposed to actually sell it.

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfamily white elephant gift exchange?

(For those who don't know, a white elephant exchange is similar to a Secret Santa, but everyone buys gag gifts and try to steal from each other.)

All the presents are gathered in a big pile in the living room, for the exchange to happen after dinner. Everything is wrapped, and no one knows who bought what gift (except their own)

As soon as they clear the table, Carrie dives for the biggest box in the pile. Tim, not afraid to throw hands with a child, wrestles it out of her grasp. Jason trips him and takes the box to himself, but Duke roundhouse kicks it from Jason and is the first to notice how weirdly light it is

Cullen, meanwhile, goes for what is obviously a badly wrapped bottle with a ribbon, but Bruce takes it from him, saying, "Nice try, young man." While Bruce waves his finger at Cullen, Dick snatches the bottle

Alfred picks up a small but elegantly wrapped parcel, but the strange smell makes him put it back down in favor of a different small present

Steph takes a longer and more slender box, but not trusting it, she offers to trade with Alfred, who agrees only after a few minutes of convincing. Jason then takes Steph's gift when she isn't looking

She then remembers the other small gift Alfred had but put down, and thinks to herself, "Watch me get something great, he'll regret missing out"

At the same time, Babs takes a medium-sized gift out of the pile and sneaks off to protect it

Bruce knows where he put his gift, so he grabs the one that was on the opposite side from it in the pile. It's soft and oddly shaped, but he can't tell what it is because it's folded in. He quickly gives it to Damian after the latter pulled a pair of puppy eyes on him. Damian then shoves it into Cass's hands and takes her gift—which is obviously a book, but there's no telling what kind

Harper knows which one Cullen bought so she takes that

Tim and Carrie are back at it again, this time wrestling for a present that seemed to be multiple things stacked together and wrapped in gift wrap. This time, Carrie emerges victorious

Cullen starts sniffing around—literally—and picks out an ornate box that could only be something Bruce or Kate would buy, and hides with Babs so no one can get it

Tim resigns to his defeat and takes a random one from what's remaining

Bruce and Kate play rock-paper-scissors over the last two presents. Kate wins and gets first pick

Now for the unwrapping...

Dick goes first, taking the ribbon and wrapping off the bottle to find a really really cheap whiskey. Like, he takes one sip and almost runs to throw up throwing up. It's all Jason's doing, of course

Jason goes next, and it's revealed that this gift was one Tim picked up at the last minute. It's a Rubik's Cube, except all six sides are the same color

Tim's next, and he unwraps the gift Harper bought. It's a pair of pajama pants with Nicholas Cage's face all over it

Harper goes next, opening Cullen's gift. Her smug expression quickly fades as she opens the plastic Shrek headband

Cullen's gift came from Bruce, who bought a fancy box because he didn't know how to fold wrapping paper. It's an ornate bottle carved with gold and even diamonds, and inside the bottle is... scentless cologne

Bruce's present from Carrie: a banana phone. It literally has buttons, a SIM card, and can call like a real phone, but it's the size and shape of a banana

Carrie tears the wrapping paper on her gift, and inside is a cute little card from Steph and seven copies of Home Alone on Blu-ray

Steph's a little more hesitant about unwrapping hers now that she's getting the funky smell through the wrapper, but Damian insists, saying he spent his allowance on it. The gift? A can of luxury cat food

Damian is excited to unwrap his book, expecting a piece of classic literature to read on slow patrols. It turns out to be a parody children's book called "P is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever." Duke is laughing like crazy as he takes full responsibility

Speaking of, Duke has the big present that everyone is vying for. Alfred informs them that he got it, so Duke's even more ecstatic to open it. When he does, he starts laughing even harder, because Alfred literally put a balloon in a box

Alfred's gift came from Cass, who apparently won it in a Batgirl-themed trivia night at a residence home. It's a fishing rod, but instead of a hook, Cass tied on the claw from a claw machine

Cass's gift is a trophy of sorts that Dick picked up on patrol: the Riddler's hat

Babs is next, and underneath the wrapping paper, she spots Kate's signature and the gift feels like a clothing item. It technically is in the sense that it's wearable, but Babs cannot fathom when she would actually use a sequined life jacket

Last but not least, Kate coincidentally got the gift that Babs picked up at the last second. It's round, it's floppy, it's... a tortilla

(Alfred's just glad that nothing's explosive)