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#so i hope this helps you anon :) and anyone else struggling with hands
spacedlexi · 1 year
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Can you please do a breakdown of how you draw hands? I can do them in some positions, but any other time draw them and I feel like I’ve forgotten how hands look.
heck yeah anon lets do this
hands to me are just 3d squares with little tubes comin out. it helps to break it down into as few simple shapes as you can. this is like base 1 for me. once you know what direction/perspective your palm is in, it helps in visualizing the perspective the fingers will be following
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ok simple enough. now lets add to this a little
our palms are not just hard flat squares. they move they bend they curl. play with your hands. notice the way your palm moves when you touch your thumb to your pinky. make a fist and notice the arch in your knuckles. you can learn a lot by just examining your own body
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part of me thinks of it kind of like curling a sheet of paper by its edges. try to find a way to visualize it that works for you. then you can work on making short hands for those visualizations
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if you dont already draw nails on fingers i encourage you to try it. they help a Lot in visualizing form and perspective. the palm may be the anchor but the fingers are where all the action is. nails can help for quick reading of that action
hmmm i think thats all i got for now!! keep messing with your hands and try to focus on the feeling of it as well as it curls and fists and stretches. notice the way your knuckles move. the way your fingers bend. how the thumb can move independently. even the way the skin folds between your fingers. look at it from different angles and perspectives (especially perspectives where a lot of the hand is hidden behind itself)
hands are Complex. theres a lot of moving parts. when looking at your hands try not to see them AS hands and just look at them as shapes. sometimes we can get caught up in the way we know something SHOULD look that it gets in the way of drawing it the way it ACTUALLY looks (like things hidden behind perspective or positioning)
i hope this is helpful!! good luck 💕
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nina-ya · 1 month
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Can we have some more premature ejaculation hcs? Dealer's choice
Premature Ejaculation With the Monster Trio + Law
A/N: Anon i hope you know that i was writing this before you even requested it so i need you to kindly evict my brain thank you very much sdflfsdj Parings: Luffy x reader, Zoro x reader, Sanji x reader, Law x reader (all separate) CW: Penetrative sex (zoro and luffy), sanji cums in his pants, oral male recieving (law), ummmm idk what else to put if anyone notes anything i missed let me know! WC: 2.2k total ~400-600 each.
You’d been teasing Luffy all day with light touches and coy glances, watching as he grew more and more restless as the hours passed. By the time most of the crew retired to sleep, Luffy was practically bouncing with anticipation, unable to contain his energy for much longer.
The moment you were alone, he was on you, pressing you against the wall with a force that nearly knocked the wind out of you. His lips met yours in a heated kiss, his hands grabbing at your body eagerly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his body pressed against yours. You could already feel his erection in his pants. His lips parted as a half groan, half whimper escaped his throat as he grew more and more eager to be inside of you.
As your hands dragged along his chest, feeling each and every muscle of his abdomen, he peeled away your bottoms rather quickly, along with his own in a burst of urgency. He grabbed you by the waist and led you backwards until you fell onto a bed, and Luffy climbed over you, his grin wide as he leaned down to kiss you again.
His lips traveled down your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he kissed every open surface he could find. His hands gripped your thighs, spreading them apart as he settled between them, his cock already poking at your entrance with an impatience that made you gasp. You felt his tip rub across your dripping hole, using the wetness to slicken himself up before he pushed into you with a groan. Luffy set a frantic pace as he buried himself inside you. “Ngh, you’re so tight,” he whined out, his voice strained as he thrust into you. Each thrust was filled with a desperate need, his desire for you evident as he chased his own release. “Ah, ah, ah, so good!”
You could hear the neediness dripping from his voice, and just as you felt your own pleasure starting to build, his rhythm faltered, his body tensing with a choked gasp. “Oh, ah, I'm gonna-,” he whimpered, his hips bucking into you as he came, spilling into you with a trembling release. The suddenness of his climax took both of you by surprise, his breathing heavy as he collapsed against you.
“‘m sorry,” he mumbled into your skin, his voice still lust laden. “I—I couldn’t hold it. It just felt…” he trailed off, seemingly struggling to find the right words in his post-euphoric state.
You couldn’t help but find his inability to hold back quite amusing. You reached up and brushed his hair back out of his eyes, a gentle smile playing on your lips as you stroked his cheek. “It’s okay,” you said, trying to reassure him despite the tinge of disappointment that the moment couldn’t last long enough for you to finish. You figured it would only be a little while longer before he recovered so you could keep going, but as he lay against you, his breathing calming, you noticed something odd.
Luffy wasn’t pulling out, and he wasn’t getting softer.
You were confused. It was as if he hadn’t just climaxed a moment ago. He let out a low groan, shifting slightly as if he was getting in position to go at it again.
“Wait, Luffy?... Already?” you asked, seemingly confused, yet you couldn’t help but feel rather happy at the idea that he could go for another round so soon.
It seemed as if he had newfound energy coursing through him, and he looked at you with a grin, as if that earlier climax was just a warm-up. He leaned down and kissed you, mumbling against your lips, “You just felt so good.” He rolled his hips into yours, swallowing the gasp that was pulled from you. “Just want a bit more,” he added, his hands roaming down to your hips, grabbing them firmly as he hoisted you up, getting into position to set a brutal pace once more. You had a long night ahead of you.
---
Zoro is usually the one in control, on top, his large body pressing you into the mattress with each thrust. He knew how to hit all the right spots, and it was utterly intoxicating. You moaned out his name, clutching onto his shoulders as he moved within you, setting a pace that made it difficult to think of anything but the feeling of his cock dragging in and out of you.
He leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss, rolling his hips into yours at a slower pace—a brief pause to let you catch your breath. You took advantage of the break, lightly pushing on his chest. He broke the kiss, gave you a knowing look, then flipped himself off you and onto his back. You then crawled over him and straddled him with a playful grin.
You took hold of his cock, lining it up with your entrance, rubbing your shared slick onto his tip but not quite putting it in yet. His hands flew to your hips, his grip tightening as he urged you downward, groaning, "Don't be a tease." At his words, you sank down onto his cock, the stretch drawing sighs and groans of pleasure from both of you. As you descended, feeling the full length of him inside you, the sensation was almost overwhelming—he was filling you up in all the right ways.
His grip on your hips tightened, his knuckles nearly turning white from the pressure as he tried to keep his composure. You could see the tension in his muscles as he struggled to maintain some semblance of control, his deep groans filling the room.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he muttered, his voice a low growl as you started to rock your hips. You set a slower pace, yet you could tell he was struggling to hold on, his brows knit in concentration as he fought to maintain restraint. But with each slow, deliberate roll of your hips, his control seemed to slip further and further away.
“Wait,” he gasped, his eyes squeezing shut as his hips bucked slightly beneath you. “Don’t—” His words were cut off by a sharp groan as you continued to move.
“Zoro~” you said, a playful edge to your voice as you placed your hands on his chest to anchor yourself as you rode him. “What's wrong? Hmm?”
He grunted in response, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he tried to steady you. “I’m serious,” he breathed, his voice strained. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna—”
But it was too late. With one last roll of your hips, you felt him tense beneath you, his body shuddering as he reached his breaking point. A low, guttural moan escaped his lips as he came, his cum releasing into you in hot spurts. His head tilted back, his muscles clenching as he gave in to the pleasure, the hands on your hips holding you in place onto him as he released inside you.
You couldn’t help but feel some amusement as you looked down at him, his euphoric expression mixed with embarrassment was certainly a sight to enjoy. “Damn it,” he muttered, his cheeks flushing with color.
You leaned down and placed a slow kiss on his lips, pulling back slightly with a playful smirk. “Mmm, that was cute,” you started. “But I’m not done yet.” And with that, you started your movements again, picking up pace as you started to bounce on him with a rhythm that made him groan nearly instantaneously. The sounds escaping his lips were like music to your ears, and you knew you had him exactly where you wanted him.
---
Sanji's lips were hot against yours, the eagerness of the kiss making your head spin. His hands roamed your body, grabbing and squeezing at whatever he could as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth with a hunger and desire that was heady.
You pressed your body against his, feeling his erection grow by the second as he grinded his hips into you. His throbbing cock pressed against your thigh, and you couldn’t help but smirk into the kiss as you slid your hand down to rub against him, teasing him with each movement of your hand.
Your other hand then traveled to his hair, your fingers threading through his blonde locks, giving it a gentle tug that elicited a breathy moan from him. His lips parted from yours with a soft gasp, eyes glazed over with thirst as he met your gaze.
“Merde,” he cursed under his breath, his hips instinctively grinding against your hand in response to each and every touch. His own hands traced the curves of your hips and waist, the softness of your thighs, leaving behind goosebumps.
He pressed his forehead against yours, his breath coming out in shallow pants as he continued his movements, his arousal growing with each movement against your hand. Soon, a low, shuddering moan escaped Sanji’s lips, his body trembling against yours as you felt the fabric beneath your hand dampen. His body slumped over yours, his chest heaving as he caught his breath, cheeks turning red seemingly at the embarrassment of finishing before his pants even came off.
When you realized what had happened, you couldn’t help but chuckle softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you ran your fingers through his hair. “Couldn’t hold back, huh?” you teased, feeling a sense of triumph at the way his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red at your words.
Sanji let out a breathless laugh, his voice soft and filled with lingering pleasure. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against him. His lips found yours again, capturing them in a slow, tender kiss, pulling back just to whisper, “Trust me, I am going to make it up to you.”
---
You traced your fingers along the waistband of Law’s pants, his impatience growing as you unbuttoned them, pulling the zipper down with a teasing slowness. You could see his eagerness in the way his hands couldn't stand still—one hand fidgeting with the bedsheets beneath him, the other behind your head, unconsciously pulling you closer to his erection with each passing second.
With a smirk, you eased his pants down, revealing the bulge in his underwear. You could see his muscles tense as you took your time, running your fingers along the edge of the fabric before finally tugging them down, freeing him from the confines of his underwear. It bounced upwards, and a low groan escaped his lips as his cock met the cold air.
You leaned in, your lips grazing against the skin of his inner thighs. He looked at you with pupils blown wide with desire as you planted kisses closer and closer to where he wanted you most. You took his member in your hand and began to stroke it slowly, your thumb tracing a circle around the tip before gliding down the shaft. Law’s hips twitched in response, his chest heaving as his fingers flexed in your hair.
Looking up at him with those innocent eyes, you continued your slow strokes, relishing the way his expression contorted with every movement. The teasing strokes seemed to be working well, his body responding with subtle shifts and restrained groans. His grip on the bed sheets tightened, as if he were trying to steady himself, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. You knew you had him right where you wanted him, teetering on the edge of restraint and release.
Finally, you leaned in, your tongue darting out to flick across the head of his cock, licking up the precum that was dripping from it. The taste only made you want more, and as you took him into your mouth, you could feel him shudder in response. Law’s grip on your hair grew firmer, his body stiffening as he let out a sharp breath.
It didn’t take much to send him over the edge. After only one stroke of your warm mouth sliding over his length, he came undone, crying out in the process. Law’s hips bucked, his hand pushing your head down against him as he came, the sudden pressure making you choke and gag, your eyes watering as he rode out his climax. His cum came in hot, thick spurts, each one painting your mouth and throat a milky white, and you had no choice but to swallow it all.
His body trembled with the force of his orgasm, and as he started to calm down, he relaxed his grip on your hair, allowing you to pull off his cock, coughing slightly as you looked up at him with a smirk. He tilted his head down to look at you, chest heaving with each breath. You could see redness creeping up his cheeks as he realized just how quickly he came. You didn’t mind, though. You brought your hand up and swiped the excess cum that was on the corner of your mouth, popping your finger into your mouth to clean it up. You noticed Law’s cock twitch at the sight of you doing that, and with a soft chuckle, you leaned in, muttering to him, “That was nice… let's see if I can make that happen again.”
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chosows · 7 days
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i think it would be nice if like there was a one shot about us having a kid with him i think that would be perfect for a one shot
i’m assuming this is about sukuna—if i’m wrong i’m sorry anon, i’ll take my mind out from the depths of the filthy sukuna gutter
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FATHERLY DUTIES
Ryomen Sukuna x Fem Reader
Summary: Pregnancy was an experience Sukuna had never expected to be bestowed upon him; you as his wife are bringing his child into the world. It’s a journey filled with joys and challenges, something he hopes to face successfully hand in hand with the woman he trusts most. Who would’ve known that such a pure life could stem from someone so corrupt?
Word count: 2.2k
Contains: Established relationship, pregnancy, brief smut, Sukuna being smitten, brief description of sex, slice of life, alternative universe: Sukuna is human
Note: making this bow divider took longer than me actually writing this, i hope it resembles bows (੭ ˊ^ˋ)੭ — don’t be afraid to request, i’ll get around to them when i have time
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DURING THE PREGNANCY
Pregnancy is a wonderful gift; the ability to bring a child into the world with the person you adore should be cherished. However, the experience is far from being as glamorous as you imagined it to be. What seemed to be a breeze for everyone else hit you ten times harder—you’re experiencing it all. Bloating, morning sickness, general nausea, a weak bladder, and the list goes on. You convince yourself it’s all worth it to bring your beacon of joy into the world, but it feels as though you’re barely clinging on. 
As a man, he would never understand the extremes you experience daily with this growing life inside of you—though any set of eyes could see it was obvious you were struggling, even his. To lighten your workload, he subtly began taking over house tasks; encouraging you to get your rest was similar to asking a wolf to play fetch—you were not giving him an easy time. Claiming that just because you are pregnant you aren’t capable of taking care of chores anymore is insulting and then whining due to the aches you get after completing them; it’s a constant game of tug of war with no winning side. Since your hormones are all over the place, it is best to allow you to have your way; arguing with you won’t help anyone, and it could cause issues with the development of your child.
Observing your bump growing throughout the duration made him realise this was now his reality; half of him and half of you created this new soul. He never believed he could feel so fondly of someone he had never met, how a soon-to-be human who is currently smaller than the palm of his hand could alter him in ways he wouldn’t imagine he could change. If there is a given opportunity when you allow him to feel your belly, he would take it in an instant; the movement in which your child shifts and manoeuvres is almost as though it recognises his presence—showing favouritism to its father before they are even acquainted. The way in which he massages your hips and presses his lips to your stomach reminds you of all the reasons why you chose to settle down with him of all people. Sukuna may not be the most put-together man but he swears by his vows to raise this child right with you. The mistakes of his past will be discarded, life handed him this new slate filled with a multitude of opportunities—you were the angel sent to guide him on the right path, and you sure looked the part with how elegant you were in your flowy maternity clothes and lazy hairstyles.
Weight fluctuations are inevitable, but the bitter reality of realising some of your favourite clothing pieces don’t fit correctly anymore hits you hard. Your body has to adjust its shape and your child needs the nutrients; it would be vain to only care for your looks rather than the health of your baby. Instead of throwing out your old clothes, Sukuna emptied half of his side of the wardrobe for you to store them there—it’s not guaranteed you return to your original size any time soon, but it wouldn’t hurt to hold onto them for the memories they carried. He finds you to be as attractive as you once were; you look completely identical in his eyes, your clothing size is nothing but a number—the shape and curves of your body make you who you are, his special girl. Sukuna had stopped working out as much as he used to, claiming he was bulking and putting on weight of his own; while it was the truth, the reality was he didn’t want you to go through this change alone. It can be daunting and weigh on your conscience, but it should never affect you—a woman whose beauty can only be experienced. No matter the skill of a painter, they would find it impossible to encapsulate so much splendour on a canvas.
“A nursery wouldn’t be hard to build; we don’t need to pay anyone. I could do that myself.”— He said. While you are resting on the sofa, minding your business flicking through a magazine, the sounds of crashing and cursing sound out from upstairs. It’s hard to restrain a chuckle before you shout up to check in on him, and his tone instantly shifts from gruff to mellow, doing his best to convince you all is well while half the crib he spent hours on just collapsed. You give it to him that he is a handyman—he is just far too impatient to read instruction manuals. Ignorance is not always bliss, especially if the crib his child is supposed to sleep in keeps plummeting to the ground. The walk of shame through the living room to grab his thin framed reading glass was silent; he didn’t dare to look you in the eyes since he could already picture the smug expression on your face. Proving him wrong was like a punch to the gut; it flattened his almighty ego to the floor, burying it amongst the dirt. There is a strange guilt summoned when you acknowledge his inaudible struggles, so the two of you join forces. You knelt on the rug of the nursery, reading the instructions out loud while he did the handy work. It’s a job well done when the room you envisioned comes to life, all the blissful colours to stimulate the imagination and the variety of stuffed animals patiently waiting to greet their new friend—it’s everything you could’ve hoped for, you pray your child will love it there as much as you do.
Many pregnant women state their sex life runs dry, but yours has taken the turn for the opposite. Whether it be your pheromones growing stronger due to the hormones or him appreciating the strength it takes to become a mother, he could not take his hands off of you. Sex was something he initially hesitated on during your first trimester; he feared that too much activity might render you eligible for a miscarriage since it was so early on. When you began becoming more stable and combating the pregnancy symptoms with ease, that’s when the two of you slipped back to your usual bedroom routine. You were limited to few positions, but seeing you in missionary was something he could never catch himself complaining about. Not only was your belly growing, your breasts were too—you had simply gotten him awestruck by doing nothing but existing. What a woman’s body is capable of is truly spectacular; who wouldn’t be captivated by the beauty of it? His thrusts were much gentler than usual; it felt as though you were having intercourse with a different person due to how careful he was being. It become more sensual, the bond between the two of you stronger than it had ever been. His eyes were filled with warmth as he gazed down at you, smiling softly while the back of his hand brushed against your cheek. No one had ever belonged to him before, nor had he belonged to anyone; it was a beautiful transition into this freshly blossoming future. He finally has discovered his sense of belonging is with you by his side. His idea to snap a picture of your belly during the weeks of growth led to half of a photo album filled with images of you, there for you to reminisce on after you enter labour.
AFTER THE PREGNANCY
Delivering a child was the most chaotic yet eye-opening experience for both of you—more so him who watched it from a fully different perspective, seeing everything up close. He never felt ill, nor was he disgusted; it was amazing how you carried around this bundle of life like it was nothing. While you were dosed on the epidural, he came out of the delivery room with gashes on his hands from the force your nails dug into him. There was no gender reveal since it was decided you wanted it to be a surprise, placing your separate bets on what the baby could be. Even though he wanted a boy, as soon as he saw his baby girl resting in your arms, he fell in love with her. Though she had a sparse head of hair, it was a similar colour to his. In his arms, she barely existed—nothing but a mere dot with her little white hat on. It was rewarding to see how far he come since you first met him; you couldn’t be more proud of him. You didn’t intend to change him, but he altered himself in ways he thought were necessary. He kept his witty humour and arrogance, the two things that truly make him who he is. It wouldn’t be your Sukuna if he wasn’t a handsome pain in the ass, finding ways to tease you yet also ways to comfort you and make you laugh in desperate times.
When you had taken the childcare classes for new parents before going into labour, he outdid himself in all preparations; he was like the student who thoroughly studied for the exam months before it even arrived. The reason he had been trying so hard is due to his fear of hurting the baby—he finds himself being rough without realising, often making the same mistakes while handling you. During nights, she would screech down the baby monitor right beside his ear, causing you both to stir. The duty of checking in on her was split on a makeshift roster, but you had been growing exhausted progressively with each passing day. Since there are days when he is up later than you, he sees to her to prevent the sudden outbursts happening during the early hours of the morning. She would weep and fuss until he took her into his arms. When she’d go silent, he would lean to lay her back down until she started up her cries again. The only thing that would calm her down was being held by her father.
Time flies by with the new addition to the household; your daughter is now able to grasp onto her favourite teddy bears at five months old. Her wardrobe is bigger than yours, and she managed to successfully steal the heart of your husband—the only competitor. All three of you would spend half of the day playing, chatting with her in the room since it would aid her mental skills. She seemed pleased seeing both of her parents, watching the two of you chatter and share innocent displays of affection. Her cooing noises would make you both grin; Sukuna couldn’t believe one of his creations could be so pure and full of love. Others told him he was nothing but distant and incapable of kindling sincere connections, but he managed to prove those who held a lack of faith in him wrong. He will admit that there were times he found the idea of love far too corny for a man like him, but accepting it into his life made it so much brighter, giving it a completely new meaning.
There came many troubles and stressful situations, but the excitement of raising a child made them all irrelevant to Sukuna. The two of you finally made time for an at-home date, sharing two light drinks and a meal. Men who fall out of love with their wives after they become mothers are nothing but weak in his eyes—if they cannot deal with one minor change, they would never amount to anything in life that involves them stepping free from their cowardly safety net. If anything, this journey made him realise how he truly wishes you would be the person who will die by his side; part of him hopes the two of you find a way to bypass death and live on together for eternity—it wouldn’t hurt to be optimistic. In the bedroom, he stripped himself free of his clothes, his gigantic figure looming over you while he stared down at you. He climbed on top of you, pinning your hands to your sides while he stole a kiss—yearning for your affection greater than ever before. That sparkle in your eyes never left; he remembers seeing it ignite for the first time when he first kissed you all those years ago.
“You are quite the woman, you know?” Sukuna hums, rubbing his nose against yours while his hair brushes across your forehead.
“I know, don’t you just love me so much?” You tease, poking your tongue out as you grin.
“I do, more than anything. You’ll always be my number one girl; our little angel comes in close second.” 
“I used to be your angel” Your voice winds in a whiny tone, widening your eyes and curving your lips down to appear upset.
“You still are,” He kisses your cheek while his hand trails down to the waistband of your panties, twanging it against your skin as he speaks, “I miss your bump.”
“Do you want another baby?” You beam at him, your eyes crinkling and your hand squeezing his.
“If you want one, I wouldn’t be opposed.”
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dfortrafalgar · 1 month
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Hi, saw that your request were open so I was thinking on asking you for Law X fem reader where law has a crush on reader and starts hanging out and sees that one of reader’s guy friends is being way too touchy and starts touching her butt, he is also being mean to her and at one point even hits her in the head.
How would he react, I was thinking of a fluff ending.
thank you so much for your request anon!!! i really loved this one, it was super fun to write! it was definitely a bit of a struggle though, as much as i enjoy writing heavier topics, physical abuse is tricky for me to deal with, but i hope the fluff at the end delivered some resolutions <3
also, i actually really really like Bellamy as a character. i think he's super cool, but i couldnt think of anyone else who could really fit in the role he's playing in this fic LOL
Rectify
Law x Fem Reader
Law’s feelings for you are forced to clash with a loathsome person in your life.
Warnings: descriptions of brief physical abuse, implications of past abuse, very mild suggestive language, modern setting, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending
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By the time Law realized his crush on you had surpassed its normal, healthy limit, it was far too late for him.  It certainly didn’t help to see you sitting next to Bellamy, tossing joking remarks back and forth.  All of you were in the same friend group, so it was truly impossible to avoid your interactions with the much larger, stronger, arguably more handsome man.  And the thought began to make Law’s blood boil.
Because Bellamy was everything Law wasn’t.
You and Law had been friends since childhood, growing up in the same neighborhood and running with the same crowd.  You were familiar with his best friends and his dad, just as Law was familiar with your closest peers.  Law liked to think that, as the years went on, the two of you grew closer and closer.  You were always far nicer to Law during his awkward teenage years, and there were a few times where the raven-haired boy grew hopeful that you might one day return his budding feelings for you, but that day never came.  And then you started college… and then you met Bellamy.
On the contrary to the black-haired medical student, the blonde was known around the entire campus as ‘The Hyena,’ and for good reason.  He was ruthless in every sport he played, a malicious, sadistic grin constantly pulling at his thin lips striking fear into the hearts of his opponents.  He was strong, freakishly so, with muscles that could rival that of an Olympic weightlifter.  His blonde hair was a hit with the ladies, and partnered with his darker skin tone and his assortment of badass tattoos, it seemed like a no brainer that women would be falling all over him.
Law just internally hated that one of those women seemed to be you.
Despite you having confirmed on multiple occasions that you and Bellamy were simply friends that you met in one of your classes, and that you truly had no interest in men like him, Law couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his chest.
Bellamy certainly seemed to like you.  A lot.
Law watched from across the room, a plastic cup still completely full of an unidentified cocktail in his tattooed hand and the large group of friends you shared laughing and chattering around you in the living room of the house party, as one of Bellamy’s large, strong hands began to circle around your waist, gripping the soft flesh of your ass through your pants.  The sensation made you jump, trying to scurry away from him with a nervous smile on your soft lips as you awkwardly laughed at the feeling, but Bellamy tried to pull you in closer.  The couch cushions sunk under his weight, creating a deep divot that made it hard to stand up.
You lightly shoved Bellamy’s chest, mumbling something about standing to get another drink, before you were finally able to haul yourself up from the warm sofa and make your way toward the kitchen in the back of the house.  Law stood from his metal folding chair, abandoning his cup on a random end table.  He followed you diligently into the kitchen.
“Hey,” he muttered.
“Oh, hey, Law!” you returned his greeting, mild surprise filling your eyes.  “I didn’t hear you behind me!”
The man shrugged, leaning against the counter.  You awkwardly fiddled with a glass bottle of beer, using the edge of the counter to pop open the metal cap.  Law eyed you suspiciously.
“You don’t drink beer,” he stated, watching as you simply held the chilled bottle in your hands without making a move to drink it.
You smiled in response, but the gesture didn’t reach your eyes like it normally did.  “I know… I just needed to get some air away from the living room for a little bit.”
Law couldn’t hold back the question fighting on his tongue.  “Is Bellamy bothering you?”
Pointed stares were shared between the two of you before you finally, lightly, shook your head.  “No.”
“Are you sure?”  Something told him you were lying to his face.
“Yes, I’m sure,” you groaned.  “Law… I know you don’t like him… but he’s really not that bad.”
“You didn’t seem to like it when he touched your ass,” the med student grumbled.
“Law, I don’t want to fight,” you retorted, firmly.  “I don’t like it when Bellamy touches me, anywhere.  I know he’s into me but I’m not into him, but I don’t want to cause a scene at a party I was graciously invited to.”
You had a point.  Liquor was running as free as tap water within the stale, stuffy walls of the house, and saying or doing something that could potentially cause a fight wouldn’t be ideal.  Especially since the police had already been called multiple times to a house just a few steps down the sidewalk from this one.
Law wished he could open his mouth and just tell you, tell you everything that had been on his mind, how he realized just recently (and yet somehow far too late for his liking) that he’s madly in love with you, how he doesn’t want to see you be treated poorly by someone who you call a friend, how he wished so desperately that you would see him in the same way, how he longed for your touch.  But instead, he stayed silent, watching as you anxiously eyed the brown glass of the untouched beer bottle you still gripped in your hand, as if the bottle was the only thing keeping you glued to reality.
“I’m fine, Law,” you blurted.  He hadn’t said anything more.  With your eyes cast down to the floor, you left your beer bottle sitting open on the countertop before retreating back into the thick of the party.
The raven-haired student waited a few moments before returning as well, his metal folding chair unfortunately having been taken by two sweaty economics students locked in a very passionate, very inappropriate, makeout session.  He pushed his way through the mingling crowd back toward the couch where he spotted you perched on the arm of the sofa this time, Bellamy practically flush against your body on the end cushion, his palm on your ass, fingers squeezing intermittently.  The blonde was locked in an intense conversation with the man in front of him, and the look on your face screamed uncomfortable.  Law felt his stomach flip over.  Your eyes caught him again, and you frowned.  A frown so deep that it left shadows under the creases of your lips.  You looked… aged.  Stressed.  Afraid.
But Law kept his distance.
You didn’t want a scene to break out.  You could handle yourself on your own.
Bellamy’s hand trailed from your ass down your thigh, your skin still protected by the rough denim of your jeans, but that didn’t stop his fingers from crawling around the front of your body and dipping between your thighs.  The feeling of his intense hand trying to pull you apart in front of another man, without your consent, made you visibly tense up and pull away from him.  Your motions finally made the blonde’s attention snap to you, his dark eyes narrowing and somehow becoming even more villainous.
“Don’t run off,” he snapped.  “You’re sitting right here with me, all pretty like that.”
You steeled yourself.  “Then I don’t want you touching me like that.  We’re not an item, Bellamy.”
“I don’t care,” he huffed back.  “I’ll touch you however I want.”
The music of the party, the chattering voices slurred with alcohol, faded completely around Law as he watched the argument unfold before his eyes.  The only sounds entering his ear drums were the disgusting words leaving Bellamy’s mouth, the demands, the insults.  The dim lights of the living room did very little to hide the way your face contorted in discomfort, trying to pull away from the blonde athlete even more.
“Bellamy, I said no,” you snapped.  
No one seemed to be paying any attention to what was happening, all eyes everywhere but where they should have been.  When you were being closed in on by a man much larger than you, no one was looking.  You were alone.
And Law was somehow so far away.
“I don’t remember ever needing to listen to you,” the hyena chortled, his voice gravelly and nasally.  “You should be lucky that you have a guy like me who’s into you.  You’ll never be able to do better than me.”
You opened your mouth once more to shout a retort, but you were cut short.  Bellamy’s clenched fist connected with your lower jaw, swiftly knocking you to the ground in a stunned shock.  You fell like a lead brick, hitting the ground with a force that Law somehow felt through the soles of his shoes, rattling his bones and making his head spin.  Your hands blindly scraped against the floor searching for your bearings, completely disoriented from the blow that had just met your bone.  You brought one of your hands to your mouth, cupping your palm over your lips as your eyes closed, trying to block out every overwhelming color and sound filling your brain with a nuclear buzz.
And yet.  No one.  Noticed.
Law cleared the floor in an instant, just as Bellamy was yelling something about your worth being determined by your partnership with him.  The fist inked with DEATH clocked the blonde in the temple, the short, stubbly blonde hairs leaving phantom singing pain on Law’s fingers.  The hyena stumbled backward, catching himself on the arm of the sofa you were previously sitting on.
For a brief moment, the med student was gloatingly proud of himself.  His father was a retired marine after all.  Law knew a thing or two about a good punch.  His thoughts were quickly retired, however, as he crossed the crowded floor to your side, quickly helping you to your feet and pushing through the crowd with you hunched over in his arms, tripping over your heels as he rapidly escorted you to the door.
Don’t cause a scene.
Bellamy didn’t follow, and Law counted his blessings.  “Hey, your apartment’s on this street, right?”
With a hand still cupped over your mouth, you nodded.  Your eyes were barely keeping themselves open, what was visible of your face contorted in a muted agony.
If Law was any less collected, he would’ve stomped that hyena’s face in with the heel of his boot.
The two of you were barely getting anywhere with your afflicted state.  Law scooped you into his embrace, your legs wrapping around his hips and free hand clenching the soft fabric of his shirt as he carried you back to your apartment with one of his arms carefully supporting your rump.  Thank goodness you lived so close, in a converted townhouse on the corner of the same street.  Law still lived in on-campus housing across town, which was less than ideal for his tastes.  He helped you fish your key from the pocket of your pants, keeping you in his grasp while he pushed the door open and entered the narrow entryway of your home.  Your roommate was gone for the week visiting family on the other side of the country, so your place was completely dark and quiet.
Law flipped the light switch on just in time to watch you scurry to the first floor bathroom as soon as your feet touched the hard wooden floor, leaving the door open as the light in the smaller space flicked on as well.  He quickly followed, standing in the doorway as you finally pulled your hand away from your mouth.
A few droplets of blood were dotting your palm, but when you opened your mouth, a worryingly large glob of bright crimson exited past your lips and splattered in the white porcelain of the sink.  Law’s stomach lurched as he watched you try in vain to spit out the metallic liquid, your entire face scrunching up as the nauseating sensation and taste.  Your shoulders shuddered with the feeling of your gag reflex bobbing in the back of your throat, forcing your stomach to hold its contents as you released drops of bright red into the white porcelain of the wash basin.
The med student’s first thought was that one or more of your teeth had been knocked loose or even came out permanently, but nothing solid landed in the sink.  As you began to calm down from your spitting into the basin, your eyes began to well with overwhelmed tears.  You gazed at Law in the mirror, his golden eyes locked on yours as a small dribble of blood and spit slid down the skin of your chin.
Wordlessly, your friend stepped into the bathroom with you, grabbing a wad of toilet paper and wetting it with warm water from the tap, wiping away the bloody drool that left your lips.
“I know it hurts, but I need you to open for me,” he muttered, gently holding your cheek in his hand as the other one balled up the toilet paper and discarded it into the open toilet bowl.
When you opened, Law reached into the back pocket of his speckled jeans and procured his phone, clicking on the flashlight without looking at his screen.  He shined the light into your mouth and, to his relief, didn’t see any chipped, broken, or missing teeth.  He did, however, see a substantial gash on the side of your tongue.  You must have clamped down hard on the muscle with your teeth thanks to the force of the punch.  The thought made a silent rage build in Law’s gut.  He turned you around and closed the toilet lid, sitting you down and proceeding to rummage through your medicine cabinet.  
He handed you two pieces of gauze wrap from below your sink.  “I need you to hold these against the cut on your tongue, okay?  Don’t remove them until I say so.”
You diligently followed his orders, taking the dry cloth from him and inserting it painfully into your mouth to rest on the stinging wound that cut your muscle.  You watched as he continued to rummage through your supplies, pushing aside boxes of tampons and toilet cleaning chemicals and finally finding what he was hoping he would see- a brown plastic bottle.  He stood from his crouching position, the bottle in his firm grasp.  He spun the item around to gaze at its expiration date and hummed approvingly under his breath.  He quickly exited the bathroom, leaving you alone for a few fleeting moments.
While he was gone, you were able to take a better look at your face.  While one of your cheeks was puffed up slightly with the clump of gauze against your tongue, you could still make out the swelling of your skin on the same side.  A large, black and blue bruise was quickly blooming along your jaw and up your cheek, your fractured capillaries leaking into your epidermis.
Law finally returned, a very small cup in his right hand and a bottle of diluted bleach in his left from the kitchen.  You watched as he poured a small amount of clear liquid from the brown bottle into the small cup before running the sink tap and filling it the rest of the way with plain water.  He handed the cup to you with no instructions before lightly spritzing the porcelain basin with the diluted chemical, running the tap once more and washing your blood away, making sure to scrub the entire bowl.  He finally turned around to face you.
“I need you to swish that in your mouth for a few seconds, and then spit it out in the sink,” he directed.  “It might taste kind of bitter.”
You carefully pulled the gauze out of your mouth, wincing as some of the light fibers pulled against your wounded muscle, but followed his directions and tossed the contents of the small cup back into your mouth, swishing with your cheeks puffed, trying to focus the liquid onto your wound.  Just as Law warned, the taste was bitter, vaguely salty, but definitely not pleasant.  Law finally stepped aside from the sink after a long 30 seconds and let you spit.  Both the gauze and the clear solution you rinsed your mouth with were lacking blood, meaning your wound was already on the clotting and healing path.
After sputtering for a few moments, the faint smell of diluted bleach filling your nose from the sink, you placed the cup down on the counter and gazed at Law, who watched you with a keen eye.  “What was that?”
“Hydrogen peroxide and water,” he uttered.  “To disinfect your tongue.  Luckily, peoples’ mouths tend to heal much faster than other body parts, so after a day or two of discomfort, you should be back to normal.”
Cleaned and disinfected, you finally started to let your mind sink on the gravity of the situation, your heart rate increasing and your eyes once again growing heavy and blurry with impending tears.  You watched as Law, avoiding your gaze with a deep frown on his lips, grabbed your rinse cup from the counter and turned to head back to your kitchen.  You quickly grabbed the fabric of his shirt sleeve to stop him in his tracks, the fuzziness of your vision causing the colors of his form in front of you to waver and warp, but that didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his lean torso in a hug, the warm wetness from your eyes soaking the cotton of his clothing.
“Please don’t leave,” you uttered into his chest, your body trembling.  With the adrenaline finally subsiding, the pain radiating from your jaw grew more and more noticeable.  Every movement seemed to irritate your bruised bone, and talking felt like trying to articulate with a lead weight attached to your mandible.  
With your face smushed into his clothing, you didn’t see when Law placed the cup back down on your counter, only hearing the soft tap of the plastic against the linoleum surface.  His arms carefully, as if to not shatter you where you stood, wrapped around your waist, one hand coming to rest comfortably in between your shoulder blades, his fingers sprawling out over your spine before retracting and collecting some of the fabric from your own shirt into his inked fingers.  It felt like his hand was made specifically to bring you comfort.
It took some time for you to calm yourself down enough to relocate from the bathroom doorway to the small living space you typically shared with your roommate when she was home.  You listened with your head resting on a soft pillow and an ice pack nursing your jaw as Law busied himself between your bathroom and kitchen, washing the cup, cleaning off the bathroom counter and sink for a second time, and disposing of the small garbage bag where your bloody gauze had ended up.  Your living room was dark, with the only light coming from the kitchen, just enough to catch glimpses of Law’s shadow moving about the space.  Your face ached from the force of crying against your bruised jaw bone, your eyelids uncomfortably sliding over your corneas, dry and fragile after expelling what was easily the rest of the water in your body.
After what felt like an eternity, Law finally emerged from the kitchen, carefully approaching your laid out form on the couch.  He kneeled in front of you and adjusted the ice pack against your cheek slightly, the tenderness of his fingers ghosting over your own.  Your heart galloped in your chest.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into that mess,” you groaned, forcing your dry eyes closed to avoid Law’s pensive stare.
“You didn’t drag me into anything.  I acted on my own,” he replied stoically, his hand remaining within close proximity to your own.  His tattooed fingers flexed a few times, eager to take your hand in his, but he eventually relented and let his limb fall back to his side.
You shifted uncomfortably on the couch, curling your legs up toward your chest.  “But you could’ve gotten hurt.”
Law bit the inside of his cheek at your words, his own chest clenching in disdain, not for you, but for the hyena that had left you feeling such a way.  “I don’t care if I get hurt if it means you stay safe.”
When your eyes opened, they were small.  Weak.  Like you had been fighting some unknown battle in your skull for as long as you could remember.  You truly looked tired and ragged, and Law wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms until all your life’s woes flushed away like the aftermath of a rainstorm.
“Law…” you began, your mouth opening and closing a few times, at a loss for what to continue with.  “I never really liked Bellamy.”
The man stayed quiet, his lips pulled in a taut line.
“But sometimes, when you get really uncomfortable, all you can do is laugh and smile.  Because you hope that acting friendly and cordial and cute will keep you safe from danger.”  Your voice was so fragile, your words mumbled as you continued to cradle your jaw with the thawing ice pack against your skin.  “I never wanted to hang out with Bellamy, but he scared me so much and I just… didn’t know how to say no.  I didn’t want to get hurt.”
Again.
Law’s own jaw clenched, suppressing a bubbling rage as he relived the blonde’s actions from a few hours prior.  A deep-rooted maniacal side of the medical student wished he could gut the D-1 athlete in his sleep, but what good would that do?  It certainly wouldn’t help you in the way you needed it.  And the fact that your attempts to protect yourself had only led you to getting attacked in the first place made his blood boil in his veins.  But he needed to stay calm for you.  Anger solves no issues.  He learned that from Cora, his best friends, and now you.
A bout of anger got you out of the situation you were stuck in, and now you needed comfort.
“What…” he began, stumbling.  “What do you want from me?  To help you?”
After a few brief moments of silence, the only sound cutting through the darkness being the faint wrrr of your air conditioning unit, you finally spoke up.  “Can you spend the night with me?”
Law blinked once, then twice.  “Here?”
“Yeah.  In my room.”
He gazed at you through the darkness, his golden eyes widened.  “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
You emitted a small gust of air through your nose.  “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
Fair enough.  “Do you have anywhere you want me to sleep?” he asked, helping you sit up against the couch cushions and carefully easing the ice back off of your jaw.  The swelling had gone down substantially, but it would still take a week or two for the bruise to fully heal.
One of your hands remained planted against his shoulder, gripping the cotton of his shirt.  “In my bed.  I feel safe with you, Law.  It’s really okay.”
After receiving your words of affirmation, Law stood from his crouched position and guided you to stand through the darkness, his hand in yours and the other clutched around the ice pack.  He discarded the item on your kitchen counter to be dealt with in the morning, keen on getting you comfortable under your secure blankets.  You gladly followed him, stepping carefully through the dark home into your bedroom where you blindly navigated to your bedside lamp, pulling down on the cord to activate the light.  The warm orange glow flooded the room, making the two of you squint your eyes.
Law could finally see just how bad your bruise really was.  A large, black and blue swollen welt tinged with red the exact size of a harshly clenched fist was carved across your skin.  The sight of the impact was much more swollen compared to the other side.  You had taken a hit most street thugs hadn’t ever dealt with.
“It’s really bad, isn’t it,” you asked, voice still paper-thin and anxious. 
“It’s… definitely a decent injury,” Law responded bluntly, inwardly cursing himself at his awkward language.
You didn’t hold it against him, however.  Instead, you stripped off your clothes, crawling into bed and leaving the other side open for Law.
“You’re really okay with this?” he asked, one more time.
You nodded.  “Yes.”
Law followed your initial lead, taking off his jeans, followed by his shirt and socks, leaving only his boxers covering him.  He carefully crawled into the space in your blankets you had left open for him, laying on his back like a plank with his hands awkwardly draped over his abdomen.  You pulled down on the cord to your lamp once more and flooded the room with darkness.
The med student felt the mattress dip as you moved closer to him, effortlessly draping yourself over his body, as if you were made to fit into the crevice of his neck.  His hands found their position around your back and waist yet again, surrounding you in the comfort you had been longing for all night.  You nestled your face into the soft skin of his neck, slow, deep breaths setting a hypnotic, drowsy pace for the both of you to fall into slumber.
No words had to be exchanged, not until the morning at least.  Your legs tangled together and your hearts beating in sync did all the talking for now.
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darklyndivinely · 6 months
Note
lucifer cuddling and napping hcs!! i need to hold his hand while we both nap so he can destress :( maybe a little spice too.. 😈
A/N - Thank you for the ask, anon! I love soft!Luci as much as anyone else so I really enjoyed this. Unfortunately, no spice :( It wasn't fitting the vibe. Hope you still like it!
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Lucifer is a big napper.
We all know his sleep schedule is fucked. He gets in bed at three in the night then wakes up four hours later for breakfast and RAD. Naps, therefore, act as middle ground. They rejuvenate him, help refocus his mind, and don't require hours like sleep does. It's common to knock on his study only to discover him asleep amidst his paperwork or on the couch by the fireplace.
He also has developed a habit of resting his head against the back of the sofa and sneaking some shut eye during movie nights. He thinks nobody notices since it's dark and he always makes sure to wake up before the credits roll around. He's wrong; everyone knows, they just let him be.
Lucifer is also touch starved. He yearns to hold, be held, snuggle and be snuggled. It's a rare kind of intimacy for him and sometimes the depth of his desire stuns him. He's comfortable finding ways to keep physical contact with you in some way by now. He's mastered the craft of it actually: a hand on your back to guide you in crowds, a soft caress on the head when he finds you unbelievably adorable in the moment but can't find the words to express it, tracing the juts of your knuckles with his thumb during date nights at Ristorante Six, gently pressing his lips to your forehead when you're walking back home because you look so beautiful with the moonlight shading you and he's so grateful of your presence in his life.
First time he ends up napping with you is a random Sunday. His eyes are hurting from squinting at paperwork all morning and half of noon; he's decided to stretch his muscles by a walk around the house. You are sprawled on the sofa in the living room, the fire bathing you in gentle warmth, on the verge of falling asleep. He stops beside you, frowning softly at your figure. You catch sight of his shoes, look up and promptly clasp the fabric of his trousers to pull him closer. He struggles. He's got work, he can't sleep, it's so public. Huffing, you say, "You're tired. Shut up and come here."
You tug again and he gives in to your sleep-riddled eyes and scrunched forehead, slotting himself beside you on the sofa. The thought of being like this, laid beside you in the living room is whirling through his mind, the sheer vulnerability of it draping itself over him like a heavy, uncomfortable blanket. You circle an arm around his torso, burying the other in the crevice between your bodies, your face nuzzling the skin of his exposed collarbone, and all his worries evaporate into inexistence. There are some fluttering thoughts then, but mostly it's a deep feeling of contentment that makes his chest feel light and golden. He'll lapse into silence if you tease him later, but you know that he loved the experience.
He's very meticulous about his naps. Decides the duration based on his workload and urgency. Puts up alarms and makes sure not to oversleep. It becomes common for him to seek you out during his designated nap hour then to check if you're free. If you are, fully expect him to drag you to your room, settle on the bed, pull you close and clock out.
He also enjoys being the little spoon. More than he probably should, actually. So don't you utter a word about it out loud or he'll make you eat hot sauce for all your meals for a whole week. If you ever end up sneaking into his bed during nighttime, don't be afraid to slither against his back and snuggle into him. When he'll wake, his cheeks will pinken and he'll hold your hands against his torso just a tad bit tighter, forgoing the ringing of his alarm for the heat of your embrace instead.
He could get used to this.
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7ndipity · 8 months
Text
Secret Crush
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would handle having a secret crush on reader who’s not a celebrity and/or only views them as a friend, so they can’t show their affection.
Warnings: lil angsty,
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anons who requested this! This is slightly similar to the falling for a friend hcs I did a while back, but I thought I’d try to cover the more unrequited aspects, though I'm not the best at those. Hope you like it anyway!
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Requests are open
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Jin:
GUILT. He honestly feels so bad that he’s put you in this awkward of a situation, even though you don’t have a clue you’re even in an awkward situation.
As I said before, I think he would try to content himself with just being the best ‘best friend’ you could ever ask for.
Which works, until it doesn’t. Because the closer you get, the harder it is for him to hide his feelings.
He fusses/worries about you a lot.
Would probably get jealous surprisingly easy, but try and brush it off with comments like “They’re just not good enough for you.”
Yoongi:
I’ve said it before, if he doesn’t want you to know about something, you. will. never. know. and that’s especially true when it comes to this.
Even if he’s absolutely head over heels for you, you won’t catch on, bc he finds legitamite excuses for any questionable behavior he might display around you.
Becomes a bit standoff-ish at times, but if he ever sees you struggling with something or needing help, he’s there in an instant.
It honestly gives you whiplash how fast he goes from ‘I don’t care’ to ‘I care a lot actually’, but he claims he’s just trying to be a good friend.
Y’all probably fight a lot, but If anybody else ever hurts/upsets you tho, he will end them(only half joking).
Hobi:
Again, as I said before, he’s naturally a very affectionate person, so how he’d behave towards his crush wouldn’t be that different from how he is with his other friends.
But on the inside, I think he would be overanilyzing everything, trying to make sure he’s not overstepping any bounderies.
Very much the ‘suck it up and smile’ mentality, which isn’t exactly the best/healthiest approach, but he doesn’t care.
So long as you’re happy, he’s happy.
I actually think he would be one of the worst at this kind of dynamic, he’d either end up confessing or distancing himself.😥
Namjoon:
So conflicted.
Might try and distance himself from you at first, bc he thinks it’ll make it easier from him to get over you, but then he just feels lonely all the time, and he’d rather be with you than without you, so he just tries to suck it up and pretend everythings cool.
Which he’s pretty good at, to an extent.
Literally can not stand seeing you flirt or show interest in anyone else tho, like it makes him feel physically unwell. If you do, he’s ghosting for a bit.
You end up developing a very intense ‘on again, off again’ friendship, which results in more than a few fights between you😖
Jimin:
As usual, Jimin is the personification of confusion for me.
Bc he doesn’t exactly hide his feelings towards you, but he’s always tacking on the line of ‘as a friend’ to the end of everything to avoid looking suspisious.
Flirting is basically his second language tho and that will not change unless it makes you uncomfortable, and then he’s the image polite respectfulness.
He just always wants you to be comfortable and happy, but he can get a bit over protective at times for seemingly no reason.
Every now and then though, it starts to weigh on him a bit more and he gets a bit moody and distant.
Taehyung:
Acts completly normal, until he doesn’t.
Can go from beaming and having the best time with you to sad puppy in instant bc he caught himself going to hold your hand or smth, and he has the record scratch moment of ‘wait no, that’s not what friends do’.
Of course you catch these sudden drops in his mood, but he never tells you what’s going on, so you just try to stick closer to him to make him feel better.
Which only increases his frustration sometimes, but other times he can’t help indulging in the affection when he can get it.
Tends to feel guilty afterwards for not being honest with you, but he’d rather have you as just a friend than potentially not at all.
Jungkook:
Not the best at hiding his feelings, but he manages.
His main issue is that he gets jealous and overprotective very easily, but knows he can’t exactly keep you close without drawing attention to himself.
Has nearly gotten into several fights bc he didn’t like the way someone was looking at/treating you. You joke that he’s your guard dog, but he takes it seriously.
Similar to Joon, y’all would end up with this ‘on and off’ type relationship that goes from being super close to barely talking.
Another that I think would either end up confessing anyway, just to get it out there, or pulling away.
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nicksbestie · 2 months
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Hey Pooks, I have another self-indulgent request…
I’m coming up on a year clean of SH, there’s no way I could have gotten this far without my friends. I was curious if you could write a fic about Jake/Johnnie either helping the reader during the healing process or celebrating her accomplishments during recovery.
I’m sure that you have a lot of requests at the moment, but I absolutely adore your work.
-🫠
Recovery - Jake Webber
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Summary : Recovery is an incredibly hard process, but your best support system are your friends <3
Pairing : Jake Webber/Reader (platonic)
Warnings : mentions of self harm, read at your own discretion!!!!
Word Count : 829
A/N : this was such a heartwarming request :( i'm so proud of you anon!!! as someone coming up on two years of being sh-free next week, i know firsthand how difficult this can be!! you're doing great, keep going!!! <3 to anyone struggling or needing someone to talk to, my anon box is always open, and so are my dms. you're never alone!!
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Addiction is so difficult. It is arguably one of the hardest things that a human can go through. And with that, recovery becomes nearly impossible in a lot of cases. 
You had been struggling with a self harming addiction for a long time, and had finally gotten onto the stable path of recovery. You knew firsthand just how difficult this was, and had fallen into many relapses before you had gotten to the point that you were at right now. If someone had told you a couple of years ago that you would be here, right now, you probably would’ve laughed in their face. 
You knew there was no way that you could’ve gotten to the point that you were at now without your closest friends. They had been your support system through everything, not turning away or ever making you feel bad about it when you had been deep in addiction. They had always been caring and loving, making sure that they were there whenever you needed or asked them to be.
You could think of so many times off of the top of your head when they had genuinely be the best people in your life. Your family wasn’t incredibly supportive, blaming you more than anything else, so that had left you with just your friends. Grateful didn’t even come close to covering how you felt for them. 
There had been a time when you had been relapsing, badly, and trying to hide it, feeling that there was the chance of your friends being upset with you, the anxiety and shame of what you’d done completely clouding your judgment. In your panic, you’d forgotten that Jake was due to be coming over that afternoon, and when he let himself in, you freaked out.
However, instead of the angry reaction that you had been anxiously expecting, Jake had been gentle, kind, and overall more than you had ever hoped for. You’d never had someone sit down with you, letting you cry your feelings out, and help you clean up. He sat in the bathroom with you, keeping gentle pressure on your wounds, halfway hugging you in between adjusting his hold, and making sure that you were sitting steady. He’d gently helped you bandage up the cuts, making sure that all of them were clean.
His hands, despite being large, were incredibly accurate and soft. You didn’t feel any excessive pain, but that may have been due to how out of it you were. You’d stopped crying by this point, but you were now exhausted, and didn’t feel good. Jake cleaned up the blood with no complaints, waving you off when you tried to help him. After that, he had pulled you into another hug, before gently settling you on the couch, cuddling with you for a while and making sure you ate something.
He refused to leave your side for many days after that. He stayed next to you, making sure that you were aways comfortable, had something to eat and drink, and took your meds, because he could tell that you hadn’t been taking them. He ordered food whenever you needed some, and never made you do more than lifting a finger to do anything. He had been your biggest supporter for years, but this week really brought the two of you even closer than you had ever thought you would be.
There had been another time where you had called him over, desperate for someone to distract you, and you swear he had never driven his car faster. He had stayed on the phone with you the entire time, getting there as quickly as possible, and had wrapped his arms around you, sitting with you to make sure you couldn’t do anything drastic. There were a ton of days that you would swear he saved your life, and both of those incidents fell under those days.
So that lead you to now, tears on your waterline, threatening to fall as you stood inside your front door, seeing a large balloon blown up in the shape of a “1” in your kitchen, Jake standing there with a huge smile on his face and a cake. He had promised you months ago that he was going to celebrate your year anniversary of being clean when you got there, but you hadn’t thought you would ever get there. You hadn’t thought that he would remember either, so you were shocked when you walked in to this. 
He immediately hugged you, making sure you didn’t cry, and began to cut the cake. It had “One Year!” written on it in curly red icing, and he passed it to you with a small card. It had his scrawly handwriting on the inside of it.
“I’m so proud of you!! One year down, many to go. You’re incredible.”
You had a huge smile on your face by this point, incredibly proud of yourself as well. 
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
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~ taglist : @jake-and-johnnies-slut @gvf23 @elliem505 @ilydeaky @maryx2xx @oobleoob @aemrsy @blahbel668 @mystic-maniac @maddytheweird @707xn @jasperthefriendlyghostt @camille-1019 @anaavolibila @not-phone-guy
~ if you'd like to be added to my johnnie and jake taglist, click here!
~ my inbox is open, come chat!! <3
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undeadcannibal · 9 months
Note
141 team +könig with reader that scratches at their arms and neck till they bleed please:]
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Summary: How Task Force 141 and  would react to a Reader that scratches at their arms or neck.
Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Soap, Gaz, Ghost, and König
Warnings: mentions of scratching, etc.
A/N:  I got you, Anon. Spent my adolescent years struggling with that T-T Hopefully you enjoy! And as always, thank you for the request! <3 I tried giving everyone a bit of a different reason as to why just for a bit of variation. I hope that is alright. c:  ( Gif credit: xxx )
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Gaz―
He catches you in the middle of relieving the itchiness of your forearms, taking a moment to realize what's going on before he tries to encourage you to stop in a calm and soft manner. 
He won't freak out, he'll just ask what's up, really just wants to ensure you're okay overall. 
Much like John, he won't pry for an answer if you truly don't want to give one, buuuut that doesn't mean he'd stop worrying about you. 
You mention that it's nothing too serious, it's unfortunately something you resort to in times of major stress. 
He doesn't pretend to understand what you deal with, but he's there to help regardless. 
Personally, he likes helping you take care of yourself. He won't hold it against you if you can't help but give in to scratching. 
Let him patch you up so he can tell you jokes or stories to distract you from thinking about everything, even if only for a little while. 
Soft but calloused hands drifting up your forearms carefully, making sure not to hurt you too much as he helps clean and patch you up. 
Do well and he says he'll give you a kiss as a reward for good behavior~ 
Ghost―
He notices something's up quickly. Whether you prefer to hide the marks of not, he wastes little time in asking you about it. 
He'll bring it up when the two of you are alone, or are at least out of earshot of anyone else. He won't want to embarrass you, but he'll be curious. 
I think Simon would ask a lot of questions at first: "What happened?" "Why do you have the impulse?" and "…Does it hurt?" or "Does it bother you much?" because he'd want to know why before helping. 
You mention that you struggle with allergies a lot, and in turn, sometimes don't realize just how bad it's gotten until it's too late. 
Unfortunately, the entire insides of your forearms suffer the most and as a result, are covered in large patches of scabs from previous bouts of itchiness. 
He wouldn't have noticed it had you not needed to pull up the sleeves of your shirt, revealing them to him. 
After you give him your answer, he won't say much, but I can see him silently telling you to stay put. He disappears only to return with a first-aid kit. 
While he might not fully understand what you're dealing with, he does help care for your wounds and patches you up. Even reminding you to change the bandages daily just in case you need a reminder. 
He might not be the best at helping heal others, but he does try to be there for you in his own ways. 
Price―
The first time he notices the marks on your neck, his eyes are widening and his jaw is clenching, numerous conflicting emotions rushing through him all at once. 
At first, he's unsure of the best approach for you, but eventually decides to just calmly ask you the next time the two of you are alone. 
Price doesn't want to pry -- he won't force an answer out of you if you haven't told him on your own time. So, he simply asks if he can help. 
If you choose to let him, he'll sweetly - and silently - tend to your neck and recommend some personal remedies since he's had many types of wounds over the years. He likes to joke that at his age, he's got an answer for everything. 
If you do decide to let him in, he's all ears: listening to you without adding in any unnecessary comments. Waiting until you explain that you struggle with a skin condition - have since you were born - and when the weather changes, that can be the worst for it at times. Sending you into a fit of resisting and giving in when you can no longer bear it. 
Like Soap, after he hears this, he does his best to try and help you. Whether that's gently reminding you to resist scratching as much as possible, or helping you care for it afterward. It doesn't matter. 
John just wants to help. 
Ooh, also asks if you'd like to borrow one of his scarves, just in case you'd like to cover up. If not, he doesn't take it personally. 
Soap―
At first, I can see him thinking the marks are possibly hickeys from afar. Once he realizes that its actually marks from you scratching at your neck, he's quick to apologize for his assumption. 
Afterwards, he'll soften his approach. Speaking quietly to you, bringing you somewhere where the two of you can have a private conversation over things. 
Like Simon, he's a curious man. He just wants to understand why. Though, he'll also understand if it's something you're not comfortable discussing. 
You mention it's a horrible habit you've struggled to break throughout the years, but even so, you're working on it. 
Either way, he just wants to make sure you're okay.
He helps patch you up if you allow him to. 
After he makes sure you're taken care of and tended to, I can see him wanting to help distract you if he can as well. 
He'll make sure the two of you do something that will help you keep your hands occupied with tasks. 
When he can, he helps keep you too busy to scratch, if he can help it, and if you're willing to put up with him. 
Please do, he just wants to be a sweet and helpful man~ 
König―
His eyes widen when he catches sight of the marks on your neck. At first, he's worried someone else hurt you and frankly, is out. For. Blood. Until you explain otherwise. 
If you choose to let him in as to why you scratch, he'll nod silently, letting you know he understands. 
If you let him know that the marks on your neck are from you scratching - for numerous reasons you don't delve into - König is silent for a while. Taking in everything you mentioned before nodding quietly. 
He doesn't get upset or hold it against you. 
Similar to Ghost, I personally see him as the strong and silent type during moments like this. 
His anxiety makes him worry and overthink any response that comes to mind, so he ends up not saying anything. Afraid that he'll say the wrong thing and accidentally offend you. 
Still, despite the silence, you can tell he means well. 
His large hands are a bit rough from years of warfare but even so, he touches you so gently that you barely even notice. Or care for that matter. 
Allowing him to tend to your wounds helps the both of you; it reassures you that he cares about you in his own ways. And, he likes being able to care for you, even if he can't really help stop you from scratching at your own skin. 
Really, he just likes to be as helpful as he can possibly be.
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376 notes · View notes
teojira · 5 days
Note
(Planet of the apes) Please can you give me anything about Caesar like head cannons a fanfic anything please I am just in the mood for Caesar :(
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[Assortment of Caesar headcanons]
Summary: Just random headcanons for Caesar x reader <3
Warnings: Monster/Human romance, angst, can't think of anything else!
A/N: Caesar my BELOVED, I hope these are okay anon! You didn't specify if you wanted romantic or platonic so I'll do a mix of both that you can read as either or! I love my man sm
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Caesar is an old man at this point, he's tired. This being said, he is not above pinning you down and resting his entire fucking body weight on you.
You can struggle all you want, you cannot lift him up and you just have to sit there and let him do what he wants. And what he wants is to have 5 minutes of quiet with his favorite human, okay? Let him have this.
Caesar also takes it upon himself to help groom you, parting your hair, scratching at your scalp and checking you for anything, taking your face in his hands and twisting and turning your head every which way.
Very very huge worrier, he worries for you so much and it comes out as anger. He's not mad at you for doing what he seems stupid shit, he's mad because he's scared of you getting hurt and he can't fix it.
He usually won't leave you alone without at least one ape he trusts in the beginning, he's worried about another ape like Koba emerging, so for his sake, please stick around with Maurice.
Maurice loves you by the way, and so does Nova. Since you're immune to the sickness, you're able to freely interact with her, so whenever you're not with Caesar or Cornelius, you're with them.
Caesar watches you alot when you're not looking, especially when you're laughing and smiling with the young girl. It fills his heart with warmth, even more so when you include other apes in on your jokes.
Give him hugs, he'll never admit just how touch starved he is, the only apes he has physical affection with often were Cornelia, Blue eyes and Koba. He won't admit it that he misses it, but he gets a little huffy if you go on to hug Rocket and not him.
You make him feel younger, almost like how he used to be when he was with Will. Yes, he's a leader and he will always predominantly be the collected and righteous leader, but he has his little shit tendencies that come out when he's around you.
I don't care what anyone says, Caesar is asshole at his core, he's just repressed it because he's a leader. He's the kind of person to have a bug in his hand, and gesture for you to open your palm.
"Open your hand."
"...I don't trust you."
"You do trust me, now open."
And then you have a centipede in your hand and you screech and he just smirks and huffs out a laugh.
I've said it before but he is so overprotective, you will not leave the confines of the colony if he can help it.
He knows you're a grown adult, and that you are capable of holding your own but he doesn't care. He much rather have you here when he can keep an eye out for you.
That being said, he will go with you if you're insistent, he has to teach Cornelius how to hunt and fish anyways, so you come with. It's a family day trip:)
Caesar doesn't like guns, but he gives you a pistol, it's a huge sign of trust due to losing his wife and son by them, by being shot by them, and you know he's trusting you with his life.
Speaking of trauma, he littered with it. Sleep doesn't come as easy to him anymore, he's too anxious, to the point you're scared he'll have a heart attack.
The only way you've found that he'll relax enough to sleep is when you and Cornelius are by his side, his arms wrapped around the both of you.
He finds it hard to tell you about Cornelia, especially since you're both teetering on the verge of something more, he feels like he's betraying her, but you reassure him you'll wait for him as long as he needs. Never overstepping any boundary he has.
He loves you, truly he does, he didn't think he could continue on, even with getting everyone to relative safety, but you've always been there, loving not only him, but everyone else around you. He doesn't know what he'd do without you.
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planet-dusk · 1 year
Note
wait…wait… fingering felix or vice cerda while gaming mmm 😋 obv online or with friends or smth 😳 just having to play it off while cumming wowie🫠
-🍄
and Happy New Year my friend<3
happy ny to you 🍄 anon! this is such a great thought… what about having him cockwarm your strap after 🤭
🏷️ sub!felix, pegging, cockwarming
“stay still, baby. you’ll get yourself killed if you keep messing up.” 
felix curses into his headset when one of his enemies almost takes him out. it’s a close call; he’s getting sloppier and sloppier, nearly getting sniped by another player. 
you’re right. he needs to focus or he’ll lose. 
pull yourself together, lix. 
he shifts in your lap and whimpers when his next shot misses its target by a landslide. 
“lix! what are you doing?! put your head in the game mate!” 
chan’s voice rings through the headphones. one earpiece covers felix’s ear and the other is pushed back so he can hear both you and his teammates. he mumbles a shaky apology in the mic and you notice how his voice sounds oddly high-pitched. which means his friends must hear it too. perfect. 
“concentrate.” you press a kiss on his nape. his fuzzy hoodie tickles your nose. “you don’t want them to find out what’s really going on, do you?” 
felix shakes his head. he’d been the one who’d insisted on this: begged for more than the gentle pressure of your fingers inside his tight hole. and you’d obliged. with only one drawback: he has to finish this round first. 
and win. 
for the past twenty minutes felix has been sitting in your lap with your strap snugly fitted between his walls. every movement, not matter how small, has the curved head pressing against his sensitive prostate.
it’s torture. felix wants nothing more than to lift his hips and fuck himself on the silicon dildo but all he can do is sit as still as possible and keep his eyes fixed on the screen. he can’t afford any missteps now. not when he’s risking losing more than just this stupid game. 
watching your boyfriend struggle to keep himself from mindlessly grinding down onto your lap fills you with amusement. he looks so pretty like this: all flushed and agitated like he might lose his composure soon. his bottom lip is stuck between his teeth to stop himself from revealing his plight to his friends. every muscle in his body screams out in desperation; from his tense shoulders to his leaking cock twitching in your hand. there’s so much precum it dribbles down your fingers. at this point he may be wetter than you are and you’re surprised he’s been able to stay this still. just like him you hope the round doesn’t last much longer. you can’t wait to see the outcome. 
“i think you want them to hear you,” you whisper for his ears only. “want your friends to know you can’t wait to get fucked. what if i tell them i’m going to bend you over this desk if you win, hm? fuck your needy hole until you’re begging me to stop because it feels too good?”
felix can’t prevent the sudden moan leaving his lips. fuck, you know him too well. his ears burn at the idea of chan and jisung listening to him getting ruined and reduced to a sniffling mess. 
he can’t help but wonder how his friends would react. would they cut off the audio and never bring it up again, too flustered about having overheard something so salacious? or would they enjoy it… their pants tightening as they picture themselves in felix’s position. or (and the next thought is almost enough to make him blow on the spot), in yours. 
chan’s fat cock drilling into him while jisung holds felix down until he can feel his best friend’s cum drip down his ass—
shit. he has to stop and fucking focus for once.
felix knows you’re loving every minute of this. it’s evident in the way you chuckle when he fidgets in your lap. you’re thriving off his distress and it only makes his cock ache more. you keep whispering filthy words into his ear, seemingly unconcerned about anyone else who could be hearing them. 
would you want them to overhear? fuck, he can’t go there, not now—
felix has no idea how he makes it through the next ten minutes, but as soon as the victory screen pops up he disconnects from the voice channel with only a short, clipped “bye!” to his teammates. his hands are shaking as he tries to catch his breath. he won. 
“congratulations, pup,” your voice is sweet like honey and his heart beats impossibly faster when you take off his headphones and grab hold of his stuttering hips. “you deserve your reward.”
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horrorhot-line · 1 year
Text
the grandfather paradox
The name comes from the idea that if a person travels to a time before their grandfather had children, and kills him, it would make their own birth impossible.
➵ pairing: saiki kusuo/female! reader (ish)
➵ word count: 5.5k
➵ genre: crack rlly
➵ warnings: none
➵ summary: kaito saiki goes to sleep, only to wake up in the middle of town. on his way back home, he realises he’s managed to time travel and worst of all? stopped his parents from meeting each other like they should have. 
➵ masterlist  (requests are open)
➵ previous part - brontide
I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING POSTED BY ANYONE ELSE ON ANY PLATFORM
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before you read:
‘saiki telepathically communicating with reader.’
‘reader thinking or interacting with saiki through thoughts.’
“saiki talking without moving his mouth.”
“saiki talking using his mouth.”
notes: i realise i’ve done it again and disappeared for a while because writers block got to me. i’ve been really busy with life if i’m being honest and moving houses. i hope you guys enjoy this.
this was requested by anon, here and here.
➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵
Saiki sat at home in front of his desk with a looming headache. When he woke up that morning, feeling like something was amiss, he had been right.
The psychic brought his gaze down from the ceiling to the pink-haired child before him. How was he supposed to react when the preschooler in front of him claimed to be Kaito Saiki, his son?
"No offence, but can you get over yourself? I need to go back to my timeline."
What a pain.
➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵
The day started like always. Saiki woke up before his alarm and used his psychokinesis to turn it off before it rang. He took his time wearing his uniform, buttoning up his shirt and folding his tie neatly before looking in the mirror. Not too neat and not too messy, he looked ordinary.
Well, as ordinary as he could look when his control devices poked out of his hair, his green glasses stayed perched on the bridge of his nose. He quietly went downstairs to eat the breakfast Mrs Saiki had already prepared, ignoring his parents acting like long-lost lovers who couldn't keep their hands off each other.
Saiki chewed on his rice absentmindedly, thinking back to when he had first woken up. Nothing had been out of place, yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone wrong. Saiki closed his eyes, placing his chopsticks down when he was finished with his food. He would worry about it later.
For now, he had to make his way to PK academy to repeat the entrance ceremony like he did every year when he had to use mind control and reset time on Earth.
➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵
You had woken up knowing today would be different. It was your first day at PK Academy, after all! You grabbed the alarm from your bedside table, turning it off to stop the assault of the sudden loud noise on your brain. You lifted the duvet covers off you, groggily getting up to wash your face and make sure you looked presentable for your new high school.
After completing your skincare routine, you fumbled but finally finished throwing on your uniform, struggling to tie the red bow around your neck. When you finally managed to do so, you realised you were running late. "Shit!" You exclaimed, rushing down the stairs, nearly tripping but catching yourself on the railings before you went to grab your shoes.
You didn't have time to sit and eat breakfast, opting to grab a piece of toast as you let your family know you were leaving for school. You haphazardly put your shoes on, grabbing your school bag before leaving the house. Finding your way to PK Academy was pretty easy when you had an app to help you navigate.
You had pulled up google maps on your phone and entered your desired destination before making your way down the street. That's when something in the distance caught your attention. When you noticed pink hair in your peripherals, you turned to your left. Your eyes landed on a small child who was staring right back at you from across the street.
Weird-coloured hair was nothing out of the blue in this universe, something you had to accept as a child. His eye colour was the only thing normal about his appearance- and it was eerily similar to yours. It was rare to see since you never really saw the shade after the age of 4 when you started spouting neon green roots.
What perplexed you the most was trying to understand why this kid had hair clips. You would've chalked it up to his parents choosing to dress him up if it weren't for the fact that- the longer you looked, the more it looked like they weren't hairpins at all.
For one, you were sure hair pins had clips that were visible, even after they were snapped into place. And why did he look like the most unexpressive child you had ever seen? You swore kids were supposed to be carefree, always smiling- not stoic, with eyes that looked dead inside, like that one.
You were distracted when a group of girls walked passed him, and you recognised the uniform. It was the same as yours! Did that mean they went to your school too? The plan was to follow the group of girls you saw in the distance so you could be sure you were going the right way- long forgotten was the strange child you had seen earlier.
Again, that was the plan- but when did anything go your way, really? The answer was never. Before you could cross over to tail the girls, you felt nausea hit you. Your vision swam, and you realised you could barely see straight.
It was unlike anything you had ever felt. Your legs gave out from under you, and you fell to the floor, too distracted by the pain in your head to notice how your hands scraped the concrete pavement when they reached out reflexively to cushion your fall.
You failed to notice the high school boy with similar pink hair walk past you, too distracted by the sickly sweet saliva pooling in your mouth, telling you that you were about to throw up your breakfast. Saiki failed to notice you, too, unable to hear your thoughts which stopped him from acknowledging your existence.
People crowded around you, worried about your health. You couldn't answer them, too busy feeling like your head was being hit repeatedly with a hammer to pick up on what they were saying. The noise around you sounded like they were far away, and anxiety took hold of you as you realised your vision had started to spot black.  
And then, as if some miracle had happened, the terrible headache plaguing you dulled, and sound returned to your ears. Your stomach no longer felt like it was doing flip-flops. That's when you noticed a small hand on your back, and when you turned, you came face to face with the pink-haired child you had seen earlier.
"Sleep, mom."
Your brain barely had the chance to question what the kid meant, your eyes closing and your body slumping as you passed out.
➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵
Kaito Saiki, the son of Y/n L/n and Kusuo Saiki. The child of the most powerful esper to exist and the most potent nullifier.
Unlike his father, whose abilities proved to be a challenge to control, Kaito possessed the ability to nullify his own powers if he chose to. That was thanks to his mother, who could shut off her link to the supernatural if she tried hard enough.
The only issue Kaito faced was that he had no way of stopping his psychic capabilities when he wasn't conscious. Not yet, anyway. He was six, after all, and his father had cursed him with supernatural abilities, which wouldn't have been so bad if only his powers weren't 100 times stronger than Kusuo's. That meant that when Kaito was sleeping, he could blow up Japan with a single sigh.
All was well when you were around because you could stop his powers from going haywire when you were within 100 metres. The only issue was you had gone on a weekend away to visit your parents, and because Kaito couldn't miss school days, he had to wait until Tuesday for your return.
Initially, the child psychic and your husband Saiki had reassured you that all would be fine because Kaito honestly did think nothing too drastic would happen in your absence.
He had been wrong. Come the first night without you, he realised he grossly underestimated how much your presence affected his power or lack thereof.
After seeing you off at the airport on a Friday afternoon and walking hand in hand with his father home, his face more stoic than his dad's as if that were humanly possible he watched re-runs of shows he had seen you enjoy in the past. It definitely wasn't because he missed having you around.
He wasn't like his dad, Saiki, who spent the day cleaning, occasionally staring off into the distance when he found something you misplaced before putting it back where it needed to be- definitely not. His old man needed to stop overreacting; he was acting like you had left forever! You would be back in 4 days; it wasn't that big of a deal.
Kaito hadn't even realised how tired he was, dozing off on the couch in the living to the sound of automated laughing tracks wishing it was your laugh mixed with them.
When Kaito awoke, it took him a few seconds to realise he wasn't covered in a blanket. If someone paid attention, they'd see his shoulders slightly droop at discovering you weren't there to tuck him in for the next few nights. Sure, his dad would teleport him into his bed, but you would tell Saiki off for risking Kaito waking up. Then again, you weren't there to do that either.
That's when it hit the young psychic; he wasn't in bed or on the couch sinking into the pillows. No, he was in the middle of the city, and it was broad daylight. The loud thoughts of the whole town flooding into his brain was annoying. Kaito lowered the intensity of his powers so that his telepathy only reached a radius of 10 metres, grateful he was his mother's son and had inherited nullification as an ability.
With the tedious voices of a thousand others no longer invading his skull, he could finally think in peace.
People passed by Kaito, paying little attention to him. He recognised his surroundings; he was in the centre of his town. Familiar shops surrounded him, and Kaito began walking, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts as he navigated back. Was it just him, or did the stores around him look different? And why did the style of the clothes people wore around him look old-fashioned?
Kaito guessed he had teleported in his sleep, but he couldn't, for the life of him, wrap his head around why something felt off. He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach. Was he ill? No, that wasn't possible. Something as ridiculous as sickness couldn't affect him. None of that mattered; for now, his only focus was walking down the familiar road that led past PK Academy to get to his house.
Letting out a sigh at how bothersome the situation was, Kaito let his feet drag him forward. When little kids around his age ran past him laughing as they played tag on their way to kindergarten, he rolled his eyes.
If he decided to smite them off this Earth, it'd be okay, right? No, he shook his head. You would definitely get angry at him if he did. And he wouldn't want you to be upset at him.
How annoying; the people around him were like rats. He didn't mind them, but they were still nuisances.
All was okay- until it wasn't. Kaito made the mistake of looking up from his shoes to the swarm of people trying to get to school early in the morning when his eyes landed on familiar hair. Squinting his eyes, his feet slowed as he tried to get a better look across the crowd, and then his gaze landed on your face. For the first time in his life, Kaito was shell-shocked.
Granted, his expression stayed the same, but he wondered if he had actually contracted some type of illness because his stomach dropped to his feet.
He didn't like the feeling, and he definitely didn't like how it got increasingly worse when you turned to look at him. If Kaito had the ability to express his emotions better, he was sure he'd be scrunching his nose. He only deadpanned at you, wanting to clench his jaw at how there was no softness behind your eyes when your gaze landed on him.
The adoration your eyes usually held was nowhere to be found; you looked at him as if he was a stranger. That's when it hit him. Kaito had managed to time travel. Your school uniform, smile lines barely visible on your face and your shortened height. All of it made sense to him.
You raised your eyebrow at Kaito before a group of girls clad in the same clothes as you seemed to catch your attention. That's when he saw it. Pink hair, same as his, topped with the exact same hair clips he wore. His father had just walked past him.
Kaito didn't catch a good look, not with Saiki's back facing him. The young psychic hadn't realised he had stopped walking until then. When he went to move forward, continuing on his journey, his new goal being to find a secluded place so he could collect his thoughts and find a way to get back to his current timeline, he stopped dead in his tracks.
Kaito had never been an expressive child, something he was sure most parents would worry about if he was anyone else's kid. He wasn't, though; he was yours, which meant no matter how stoic or ungrateful he came off, regardless of what you did for him, you always welcomed him with open arms and a smile on your face.
The child esper guessed he loved his parents, even if he didn't show it. The warm feeling he would get in his heart was evidence of that- every time he saw you and Saiki. He wasn't sure why, but he would always favour you over his father.
Maybe it was something about how understanding and patient you were with him that tugged at his heartstrings like no other.
So Kaito forgot all about precaution, and his brain blanked when he saw you collapse to the floor, falling to your knees as if you had lost all your strength. Of course, he knew why; you had told him of yours and Saiki's meeting, that his dad's powers took a toll on you the first time you were in his vicinity.
Should he get rid of his dad? Permanently? He was the cause of your pain, after all.
Kaito got rid of the intrusive thought as quickly as it had appeared; if he did kill Saiki, he'd never have been born. And that meant he'd never see you again. There were more pressing issues at hand; he was sure you were on the verge of fainting, no doubt feeling nauseous.
What else could have happened when his father walked past you that morning, not knowing of your presence or the effect he had on you as he passed you by to get to PK Academy? Of all the moments in time Kaito could have travelled to, this had to be by far the worst. Judging by how Saiki didn't spare a glance at you, he had yet to meet you.
Crowds of people swarmed you to make sure you were okay, obstructing Kaito's view of you. He wanted to blast them away with his powers; they weren't helping. Saner heads prevailed.
For the first time in his life, urgency came before all else. If anyone saw him teleport to you, he'd deal with it later; Kaito's main priority was making sure you were okay first. He appeared behind you instantly, ignoring the people around him, only focusing on you.
Kaito closed his eyes, placing the small of his hand on your back as he imagined a void around him, willing it to grow to a metre's radius, covering the two of you. He had successfully blocked out any of his dad's powers, hoping the nullification would at least relieve some of the pain you felt.
When he opened his lids, you turned to look up at him. "Sleep, mom," Was all he said to you, and he watched as you slumped back, his right arm catching you. The only reason his mind control affected you was because he was born from you. When he had grown up, he had questioned you on it before.
You had chalked it up to the fact that since he was your child, there was a bond between you that you shared, so there were no 'broken strings' between the two of you. Kaito was grateful for that fact now as he picked you up in his arms with ease.
He ignored the crowd's shock at his strength and the murmurs of the people surrounding him and you. Turning to face the tall strangers in front of him, using mind control, he willed them to forget what they had seen today before teleporting to his maternal grandparent's house, where he was sure you were still living.
He was grateful the house was empty, guessing your parents had gone off to work already. Kaito placed you on the couch silently before he left, sparing you one last glance as he did.
Good grief.
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This was catastrophic. By catching your attention earlier, Kaito was sure he had just meddled with his parent's first meeting. Had he not been there, you wouldn't have stopped for a few seconds to look at him; you would have headed to school like normal and met Saiki later on.
The whole thing was a domino effect. Kaito knew his fair share when it came to time travel and was also aware that when anyone did jump timelines, the only smart thing to do was to be an unnoticeable bystander. Don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone and try not to get seen.
Something as simple as moving a pencil from its original place to a different location could change how events play out. If Kaito had known he'd travelled to the past in his sleep, he never would have walked the streets without a care in the world.
Kaito had caused a grandfather paradox. A theory that if one travelled back in time and assassinated their grandfather before he had children, they could make their own birth impossible. Kaito had caused a paradox, alright- except it was with his dad minus the killing, too, of course.
The damage was already done, and there was no use pondering over regrets and what-ifs. At this point, Kaito would have travelled back to the future, but he had changed a major event in the timeline- and that would be his parent's love story. That meant if he went back now, there was a possibility that his parents may have never met each other; even worse, he might not exist anymore.
This was why his dad had warned him not to mess with time travel; messing with the timeline had ended in world war 3 for Saiki. Kaito originally wanted to go back a day, but factoring in how he had yet to grasp his powers properly, he might go back in time to when you and Saiki hadn't been born.
He didn't want to risk it, so he decided he would do the next best thing.- get the help of his father, who was still in high school. Saiki had better control over his psychic powers than Kaito did.
With a plan in mind, he got up from the park swing he was sitting on to teleport to his paternal grandparent's house this time. Judging by how the sun was already setting, the school day for his father should already be there.
-
Kaito sat on the bed, with Saiki perched on his desk chair in front of him.
If Kaito had the ability to laugh, he guessed he would have when he first appeared in front of his father. The older psychic had been shell-shocked, and if it weren't for the fact that Kaito knew he still had contacts in, Kaito would have theorised he had managed to petrify his dad with how he was frozen in place.
"Who the hell are you?" Kaito only raised an eyebrow at his father's colourful words. Would the correct response be to scoff in this situation? Who knew his father lacked brain cells as a teenager? "I'm your son."
Saiki deadpanned at him, his lips parted and his eyes covered by the light reflecting off of his green glasses. "What?"
Kaito sighed- why was the man in front of him so slow? "Can't you tell by reading my mind?" Kaito shot back before realising Saiki probably couldn't. Maybe he should cut the older esper some slack; having a stranger appear out of nowhere only to claim he's your son must come as a shock. "You might want to sit down; this may take a while."
"I'm already sat down."
"It was a figure of speech."
After explaining his life story to Saiki, from how he saw his mother on the street to how the original timeline was supposed to go and how Kaito had messed things up by distracting you, he snapped his eyes back to look at his dad, who looked like he had just gone through the five stages of grief in one sitting.
"I need your help; I need you to time travel back a day and take me with you so I can make sure things happen the way they should." Kaito was sure he hadn't inherited your patience, but boy, did he wish he had because Saiki was starting to annoy him with how slow he was in catching on.
"There's no way you're my son." Was he allowed to smack his dad into next week? It'd be fine since you weren't there to scold Kaito. The young psychic purged the idea from his brain, he needed his dad's help after all, and the man was no use to him if he was unconscious- or dead. "That's it. I'm going to Uncle Kusuke for help."
Kaito got up from his seat on Saiki's bed, acting as if he was ready to leave. Of course, he wouldn't go, but pretending like he would to get his way wouldn't hurt anyone, would it? If Kaito and Saiki had anything in common, it was the fact that they shared a mutual dislike for Kusuke Saiki. "Wait. I can't have my brother find out about this."
The corners of Kaito's mouth twitched ever so slightly; he had hit the nail on the coffin. Saiki had no choice but to help.
The older psychic lowered his face, switching his gaze from the ceiling back to Kaito. The child esper could tell that Saiki still doubted he was his son.
"Why can't I read your thoughts? We're both psychics aren't we?" Kaito tilted his head to the side as if the answer was obvious. "What a pain. It's because I can nullify any of your abilities, and if I turn it off, you'll learn too much about the future. That might change my current timeline; I can't risk that."
Saiki exhaled through his nose, leaning forward in his chair, "You're my son, alright- you even have the same catchphrases as me." Silence followed as the two stared each other down. Kaito refused to yield, and a slight sense of pride filled his small body when Saiki broke eye contact first by closing his eyes.
"Fine. What do you need help with?" Kaito had been triumphant. Finally, he could go back home. Was what he felt not called satisfaction? He felt like pumping his fists until he realised how silly it would be to do so. Kaito faced Saiki, opening his mouth to speak only for him to blink and deadpan.
Kaito had time jumped again. How? He had no idea. He wasn't even sleeping this time! He concluded that being so far away from his mother must be the reason why this was happening to him. How was he supposed to return to the correct timeline if his powers were going haywire?
One thing Kaito did know for sure was that he was no longer in his future dad's bedroom but rather in a field with only crops surrounding him. Letting his eyes sweep the vast green around him, he sighed yet again. There was nothing but plants for miles, as far as his eyes could see. Was this frustration he felt? He couldn't tell.
The most important thing to do was find out what time period he was in. That was what Kaito planned to do, but he didn't get a chance to follow through on it. Why? The answer was simple- bugs.
When Kaito felt something move on the skin of his calf, under his pants, all the baby hairs on his body stood up. For a split second, Kaito was sure his soul had left his body- halfway on its journey to the heavens. He was familiar with this feeling, having experienced it countless times when he found cockroaches around the house.
Kaito's body reacted before his mind did in his sheer state of panic. He kicked his leg out to get the creepy crawly off of him before teleporting far away.
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When Kaito's vision adjusted to his surroundings after he had teleported yet again, he realised he was standing between two people. A sense of dread filled the young psychic- surely the universe didn't hate him that much. He slowly gazed up and found two familiar faces staring down at him. The universe did- it hated Kaito Saiki.
Kaito's eyes blanked, devoid of light. "Eh?"
Gazing intently at him was none other than his mother and father, except they were younger. "You're seeing this too, right?" You were the first to pipe up, not breaking eye contact with Kaito as you watched him curiously. "Kusuo, you didn't tell me you had a little brothe-" Saiki cut you off before you could finish. "I don't."
Kaito had no idea how to talk to you. He gulped as you watched him curiously. He proceeded to do something he only ever did when he was extremely nervous (normally, it only happened when he was getting scolded by you. Kaito's mouth moved before his brain could catch up.
The only thing he could do was quote tik tok references you loved to say. "Baby, I'm not even here. I'm a hallucination. Move on- move on." Your jaw dropped at the boy in front of you, recognising exactly what video the small child was talking about. Your eyes lit up at him in what Kaito assumed to be utter awe. It took everything in him not to hug your leg, knowing all too well he wouldn't be met with the softness that the you from the future would provide.
Your eyes widened as if something had clicked, and realisation dawned on you. Kaito felt it too- the rush in his ears he could faintly hear every time his mother wasn't around, calmed. The weight of his powers lifted slightly, and he inhaled. "Hi." Kaito only looked to you, feeling small and unsure of himself for the first time in a long while.
"No way." You sounded breathless, for good reason. You slowly met Kusuo's gaze at the same time he did yours. Kaito looked around to observe where he was and surmised he had teleported to Saiki's room. "It can't be." 
If the two of you were together, then that meant the farm Kaito came from was in a time before he had meddled with yours and Saiki's first meeting. Thank god. If there was any out there.
"What's your name, little guy?" You looked down at Kaito once again, and he craned his neck to meet your gaze. His eyes softened at the sight of you, something both you and Saiki picked up on. "It's Kaito... Saiki." Your lips parted before they stretched into a smile. Saiki's only response was to deadpan- as if his soul was moments away from leaving his body.
"I always wanted to name my kid 'Kaito'. See, told you I was right, Kusuo." You whipped your head to face Saiki, excitement bubbling up on your features. The older esper only rolled his eyes at your antics, opting to look at Kaito instead. "Why are you here?"
Kaito opened his mouth to speak, only to feel an itch in his nose. His face scrunched as he pulled his hand up reflectively, sneezing into it.
Bringing his hand down slowly, the small psychic blinked. He was smack bang in the middle of town centre yet again.
Could he have? Had Kaito actually been that lucky- as to travel back in time to before he had messed up his parent's first meeting? There was only one way to find out.
So Kaito walked passed the crowds of people, trying to keep his pace steady as he made his way towards PK Academy yet again. He stopped just before he suspected he'd see you and hid behind a wall, barely visible.
That's when Kaito spotted the version of you from high school, and he felt himself physically relax, like a burden was lifted off his shoulders. Had the situation stressed him out that much? Probably.
Kaito watched intently as you gazed up from your phone at the group of girls walking past you, clad in the same school uniform. Kaito let out a sigh of relief when you followed them like the universe had planned for you to do so. Kaito stuck around for when his father appeared, absentmindedly walking to PK Academy with a stoic expression not long after you.
Finally, everything had been set right. Now, Kaito had to find a way back to his current timeline.
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After a few tries and focusing solely on not interacting with any human Kaito came across to stop a butterfly effect from happening, he finally made his way back home.
Kaito appeared in the living room, and before his eyes could even adjust to his surroundings, he was engulfed in a hug, "Oomph!" The second he realised it was your arms around him, he visibly relaxed. Breathing you in, he melted into the hug as he buried his nose into your shoulder. He was finally home!
"Where did you go, Kaito?!" The worry in your voice pulled on his heartstrings. He felt a hand run through his soft pink hair, and guessed that must have been his dad.
'I time travelled in my sleep.' Kaito telepathically told you and Saiki, his face still covered by your shoulder. He felt almost ashamed to admit it, as if he had done something wrong. He decided then that he needed to get his powers under control as soon as possible.
"I was worried sick- you disappeared for hours!" You let go of him in a hurry, your hands sliding down his arms as you looked him over before checking his forehead for a fever. "Are you hurt?"
Kaito only shook his head, staying quiet. It felt like his heart was going to burst open, and he had no idea what to do about it. The young esper's attention shifted when he spotted the 2 suitcases behind you. Had you... not left to go visit your parents yet? Had he travelled back to before you went to the airport?
"Don't go." That was all Kaito could say. He looked up at you in time to see your eyes soften. Despite his stoic expression and his empty eyes, you could read him like an open book. He didn't have to say much; you understood straight away. If his powers went haywire when you weren't here, there was no saying what would happen.
"Okay, I'll stay."
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bonus:
After putting Kaito to bed and telling your parents about the change of plans, you walked down the stairs wordlessly. What a long day.
When Kaito didn't come down even after you called for him a few hours ago, you immediately sensed something was wrong. Leaving your suitcases in the living room near the couch, you called your husband over to help you look for him.
Half the day went by with you looking for your son, Kaito. Saiki teleported everywhere, used his telepathy, and even then- he couldn't find your child. Then, like magic, Kaito appeared in the living room. You had heard a brief version of what had happened from Kaito himself before you tucked him in.
"Stressed?" Saiki asked from the kitchen, handing you a warm mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows. You smiled at him, your heart swelling at the simple act of him making you something. "Not anymore." You smiled over the rim of the mug before taking a sip.
You watched quietly as Saiki silently did the dishes. This was it, everything you had ever wanted in life. "What would you do if you never met me?" You asked out of curiosity, the question spurred on by what Kaito had told you.
Saiki paused, placing the last dish onto the drying rack and turning the tap off before he turned to you. "I'd be single and by myself." You kept eye contact, studying your husband to your heart's content. "Until I find you." Your lips stretched into a quiet smile again as you stepped forward.
"You have no idea how happy that makes me, Kusuo." You wrapped your arms around his neck as you pulled him close. Saiki's hands found purchase on your hips. You tip-toed as you placed a kiss on his lips, your smile still present.
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bluewasthecolor · 1 year
Text
This Is What It Feels Like
Word Count: 5330
Warnings: Smidges of angst.
A/N: The anons who requested that I work on this get a special shoutout because Gracie is superior. Also this song was written about a friendship but I am writing about a relationship because art is up for interpretation (and I like writing about relationships)! I'm really proud of how this turned out, so I hope you like it! Let me know what else you'd like to see from me. I've been pretty much exclusively working on this one for the past few days, but I'm planning to work on some requests/ficlets now so expect to see more uploads from me in the next few days.
The city's gettin' loud
If I choke, it's only 'cause I'm scared to be alone
“You coming out with us tonight?” You look up from your phone to see Leah standing over you.
“Pardon?”
“We’re going out to have some team bonding time–just going to dinner, having a couple drinks, nothing major. You should come.” “Oh, um, I think I have plans tonight, but thanks for the invite.” You smile awkwardly and walk out of the changing room, leaving Leah standing alone.
On the drive home, as you cook yourself dinner in your flat, and as you eat alone, you can’t stop thinking about your interaction with Leah. You’re not sure why you said no to her invitation. You really don’t have anything to do–how could you? You’ve only been in London for a month and all of your time has been spent with the team so they’re your only real opportunity for social interaction. You pray that Leah doesn’t think about this, doesn’t realize you were lying. It’s not that you don’t want to get to know them, you truly do, it’s just that all of this feels a bit much right now. You’ve always been pretty shy and that makes it hard to get close to anyone. It took you almost a year after being drafted to OL Reign before you finally settled in, so it’s not much of a surprise that you’re still having difficulty making connections. This was supposed to be different though. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. Moving to London was supposed to help you, was supposed to be an escape from all the noise. Instead, here you are panicking just as you have so many times before. You feel as though you’re back in Seattle, back in that godforsaken apartment, trying not to drown. It’s not all that different you suppose, then and now. You were alone then and you’re alone now. Except now you’re in London halfway across the world from everyone you love. You feel naive that you thought this would help you, that you thought transferring to Arsenal was the right choice. Instead of being able to call somebody to come over when it all gets to be too much, you’re left struggling through on your own. This must have been a mistake.
After dinner you’re sitting in your living room when your musings are interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Confused about who could be at your place–about who even knows where you live–you look through the peephole to see Leah standing on the other side. Your breath catches in your throat. What is she doing here? You press your back into the door, reminding yourself to breathe. She’s one of your teammates, not some random stranger. It’s going to be okay. With that, you swing open the door. Leah looks up as you do so, smiling when she sees you.
“Hey Y/N. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” “No, no not at all. I thought you were going out with the girls tonight?” “Well, I was, but then I talked to you.” A smirk is playing at her lips and you’re not quite sure what to make of it. “You said you had ‘plans’ but then I realized the likelihood of you knowing anyone in London besides the team is very very slim. So, I thought I’d come over.” She holds up her hand and the bottle occupying it. “I brought wine. Can I come in?”
Taken aback by her assertiveness, you step aside allowing her to enter. You’re still confused about what’s going on, but you follow her into your kitchen anyway, determined not to make things awkward. She grabs two wine glasses off the shelf, pouring each glass half full and handing one to you. You take it, grateful to have something to do with your hands.
“Would you like to sit?” You tilt your head towards the couch, and Leah nods. You move to sit next to one another and she looks at you. Like, really looks at you. The prolonged eye contact makes you shift uncomfortably, looking away after a few seconds. 
“So. Y/N.” Leah’s voice is soft, comforting. “Truth be told I didn’t just come here to drink wine.”
You look back up, a question in your eyes.
“I wanted to check in on you. You never come out with us, barely interact with the team besides to talk about football. Did we do something? Are you just not interested in getting to know us?” 
“Ah, so this isn’t just a friendly visit. You’ve been sent here on a spy mission. Get me to confess all my secrets, report back, right?” You’re half teasing, but apparently you’ve struck a nerve.
“No!” Leah is quick to deny, but even quicker to backtrack. “Okay so maybe Caitlin mentioned that I should come over and see if I could get you to crack, but it’s just because we want to know you. And I was already thinking of asking you to do something one on one.” The last part of her confession takes you off guard, but you compose yourself quickly.
“Alright. You get three questions. Go.” You’re not used to people being this honest with you, so you decide to give her something in return.
“Why don’t you ever spend time with us outside of training?” Her first question is as expected, and you begin to give your routine answer.
“I’m just really shy. I never really get to know people right away.” Her eyes narrow at your response, and you can tell she doesn’t fully buy your answer.
“Be more specific.” “This is gonna count as one of your questions, you know.”
“Be. More. Specific.” 
“It’s been like this since I was little, I think. My mom tells me my teachers would always send home notes saying that I was smart but needed to talk more in class. As I grew up it just kind of stayed the same way. I think I’m scared that if I let people in, if I get to know them, I’ll just end up getting hurt. If I never make an effort I never have to be let down or worry that someone doesn’t want to be around me.” You stare at your hands as you say this, embarrassed to look up at her. Leah is silent for a moment and you think you’ve scared her off, shared too much, but then her hands are on top of yours. 
“You don’t have to be scared with us. I know that’s a hard thing to believe, but you’ll never know unless you just trust us, unless you try. Give us a chance. Or, y’know, at least give me a chance, I’m not total rubbish.” She adds a cheeky wink with that last detail that makes you question whether or not she’s flirting with you. 
“I…I can give you a chance. I’m not so sure about everyone else. I’m not so good in a group setting.” Leah nods to herself. “And by the way you have one more question left.”
“Alright, how about this: will you go on a date with me?”
“I–uh–what?” You sputter out, not expecting the blonde to be quite so forward. 
“Go out with me. We’ll get to know one another, you can see that I genuinely want to know you, and then maybe you can work towards getting to know the rest of the girls.”
“Why can’t we just get to know each other as friends?” You ask, wary of her motives. “Because you’re insanely gorgeous and I’m pretty sure if we started hanging out as friends it would quickly turn into something more. Why not just skip to the fun part?” She has a point, you admit to yourself. You’re definitely guilty of sneaking glances when you think she’s not looking, admiring her beauty from afar.
“Okay, sure.” You can’t help but smile as you agree. “Let’s go on a date.” Leah squeals, actually squeals, and launches herself at you for a hug. 
“How’s this Thursday? Pick you up at six?”
Two Weeks Later
I would do whatever you wanted
We don't have to leave the apartment
You’ve been going out with Leah for two weeks and it’s good. Waking up in the morning and realizing you have an hour before your alarm goes off, finding the perfect pair of jeans, heart stoppingly good. It’s easy with Leah, unlike many of your past relationships. You don’t feel like you’re constantly second guessing yourself or like you need to be on when you’re with her, you can just be. She doesn’t play games with you, she’s straightforward and doesn’t beat around the bush. It also doesn’t hurt that she’s good in bed. On the rare occasions that she lets you take control, on her back completely at your mercy, you feel powerful and in control. When she’s on top of you, coaxing orgasm after mind-blowing orgasm from your body, you lose yourself in the way she makes you feel. The way she takes you apart oh so slowly and–
“...Y/N?” Leah’s voice snaps you out of your daydreaming as she taps on your forehead. “Hello, is anyone home?”
The two of you are lying in her bed, spending one of your rare days off with one another. The defender has her back pressed against the headboard and you are settled between her thighs, head resting on her chest. “Sorry, sorry. What’s up?”
“I was asking what you wanted to do for dinner tonight.” “Oh, I don’t care. You pick.”
“Well…” Leah pauses, looking down at you with careful concern in her eyes. “Beth and Viv are having a thing tonight. They invited us. We could go to that.”
“I’m not so sure Leah. I don’t think I’m ready.” You look up at her guiltily, feeling bad that you’re preventing her from seeing her friends. “You should go though. I can just head back to my place for the night.”
“What? No. I want to hang out with you, I just thought it might be time to get to know the girls. It’s okay if you’re not ready though.”
“You don’t want to go?” “I didn’t say that. I said I want to spend time with you.” 
“I still think you should go.” This conversation was slowly starting to feel more and more like a fight.
“What’s this about, Y/N? Do you not want to spend time with me?” Leah’s voice is cold now.
“Don’t turn this on me, I-you know what? I think I should just go home. I’ll see you at training tomorrow.” You push yourself off the bed, stalking to gather your things. 
“What the hell, Y/N? Is this how you deal with things? You can’t just up and leave when shit gets hard. Come sit down and talk to me.” You look up to see that Leah has followed you out of the bedroom and is sitting on the couch. You shuffle over, perching on the edge of the sofa.
“Well?” Your voice is short. “I don’t really have much else to say, so it’s your turn to talk.” 
“I guess I’m just a bit confused. Why are you so insistent that I do this? Are you just trying to get rid of me?” Leah’s voice is still cold but a bit of insecurity creeps through as well, her voice breaking just a little.
“No! I just…” Tears begin to well in your eyes before you can get the full sentence out. Taking a deep breath, you try again. “I don’t want you to resent me. Or feel like I’m keeping you from your friends.” “Oh, Y/N.” Leah murmurs, her voice soft now. “I could never resent you, baby.” “I just…we never do anything with anyone else. It’s not much of a relationship. I don’t want you to get bored of me” You stare intensely at your lap, not fully buying her response.
“Hey. Look at me.” The blonde tilts your chin up with her finger, forcing eye contact. “I am happy to do absolutely anything with you. It doesn’t have to be with other people. Hell, we could never leave this flat again and I wouldn’t complain. I never ever want you to question this. We’ve just gotta communicate, yeah?” She pulls you into her side as she says this, rubbing her hand up and down your arm.
“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.” You let yourself lean into the Brit. “And I want you to know that I do want to get to know the girls, I just don’t think I’m ready yet.”
“Just let me know when you are, darling, and I’ll set it up.” With that, Leah presses a kiss into the crown of your head. “Where’d we land on dinner by the way?”
“Well you’re certainly not cooking so would you rather have me cook or should we order takeout?” Your cheeky response results in Leah pushing you so that you are now on your back and she is hovering above you, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
She looks as though she’s about to kiss you, she even leans in as though that is what’s going to happen, but then her hands are on your sides and she’s tickling you. You squeal, trying to squirm away from her but she has you pinned to the couch. You eventually manage to roll off the couch and dash off, using your knee to push Leah off of you. She follows close behind, wrapping her arms around your waist and lifting you off your feet. As you laugh breathlessly she carries you towards her bedroom, tossing you onto the bed a dark look coming over her eyes.
-
Afterwards, the two of you lay intertwined, recuperating from taking one another to pieces. You reach up to stroke her hair, content in the small moment you were sharing. It was in that moment that you knew.
“I’m ready to get to know everyone now.” You murmur softly, looking up at Leah to see her reaction. She’s hesitant at first, not wanting to push you. 
“Really? You’re sure?” You nod, smiling up at her. “Is this because of the sex? Like, y’know, I’m just so good that you’re super confident now?”
“No you asshole!” You sit up, smacking Leah lightly on the chest. “I just…I don’t know. You make me feel so safe and you obviously trust the girls, so I have no reason to be scared I don’t think.”
Leah presses a kiss to your cheek, pulling you closer.
“I’ll set it up.”
That Weekend
We stayed a couple hours
Our clothes matched enough to throw me off a bit
“You’re kidding.” Leah snorts as you open the door to your apartment. You stare back, unsure of what to say. The two of you have accidentally dressed in what are basically matching outfits: white tank top, black pants, white sneakers. 
“Goddamnit,” You groan, turning to head back into your place. “I’m gonna go change. They’ll think I’m weird if we show up in matching outfits.”
“We’re late enough as it is, it’ll be fine.” She says, a hand reaching out to wrap around your wrist. “Let’s go, Y/L/N!”
-
As Leah parks the car in Viv and Beth’s driveway, you try to focus on your breathing. It’s just a dinner. A dinner with your teammates who, Leah has assured you endlessly, are excited to get to know you. Still, you can’t help but worry. What if you mess something up? What if they don’t like you and it changes how Leah sees you? What if, what if, what if. The possibilities are never ending. Leah, having finished parking, can clearly see that you’re overthinking things.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, baby?” She reaches over the center console to rest her hand comfortingly on top of yours.
“I dunno, just nervous I guess.”
“There’s nothing to be nervous about, they’re gonna love you, I promise. Just be yourself.” She lifts your hand to her lips, pressing a kiss on each finger. She then gets out of the car, walking around to open your door. 
“Shall we?” She asks, extending her arm.
You grab it, stepping out of the car slowly. You let her lead you to the door and she squeezes your hand twice as she knocks. Leaning over to you, she whispers:
“If it gets to be too much, tell me. We can go whenever you want.” Grateful for her concern, you squeeze back. 
At that moment, the door swings open. 
“Leah! Y/N! Come on in!” Beth is smiling brightly at the two of you as she steps aside to let you enter. “Everyone’s just chilling in the kitchen, follow me.” 
The blonde leads the two of you further into the house, stopping in the kitchen. Viv is behind the counter cooking with Caitlin as her sous chef, while Lia, Katie, and Ruesha are perched at the counter observing. They’re all laughing at something Ruesha said, and look up when you walk in. Caitlin is the first to speak, greeting you warmly.
“Hey guys, good to see you!” The rest of the girls follow suit, echoing greetings at you. Beth passes you each a glass of wine and gestures to you to take a seat at the counter.
“Um…did you guys mean to dress alike?” Katie asks, hiding a smirk. You blush, and look at Leah.
“Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t. What’s it to you, McCabe?” She bites back, a grin on her face.
You perch next to Leah, your hand finding hers under the counter. As you chat more with each girl you can feel yourself relaxing bit by bit. They’re all incredibly kind and clearly do want to know you. 
“Viv, whatever you’re cooking smells fantastic.” You compliment the Dutch woman, who smiles as you say this. “Can I help at all? I’m not too bad in the kitchen.”
“That would be great actually! Cait’s a great help but many hands make light work. Do you think you could make a salad?” Viv directs you, gesturing to the empty salad bowl. “Everything you need should either be in the fridge or on the spice rack and if you’d like an apron they’re in the first drawer to the right of the dishwasher.”
You stand from your spot behind the counter and tie an apron around your waist.
“Oh my God, Y/N you have to make that one kale caesar salad with the dressing. It’s the best salad you’ll ever have, I swear.” Leah directs the last part to the rest of the room, all of whom look intrigued.
“Okay then! One kale caesar salad coming up!” 
You set to work, gathering your ingredients for both the salad and the dressing. Viv and Caitlin work next to you, the three of you in perfect sync as you move around the kitchen. 
“Leah! Come sit in the living room with us,” Katie’s voice drifts into the kitchen, and you look up to see that she, Ruesha, Beth, and Lia have all moved into the next room. Only Leah remains at the counter, watching your every move. Now, she looks at you with a clear question in her eyes.
“Go, I’m good.” You smile reassuringly, waving your wine glass towards the next room. She returns the smile and turns to go. 
“So. Y/N.” As soon as Leah’s left the room, you hear Caitlin’s voice behind you. “Now that Leah’s out of the way, Viv and I want to get to know you some more.” 
You spin to see the two women smiling mischievously at you, clueing you into the fact that this was somehow planned.
“Alright, what do you want to know?” You respond, surprising even yourself with your willingness to be open. Something about Viv and Caitlin just makes you feel at ease.
“What was it like to play in Seattle?” Viv jumps at the chance to ask a question just as Caitlin is opening her mouth.
“I mean, it was amazing, I won’t lie to you. I grew up in Seattle so it was unbelievable to get to play for my home club, and the culture of the team is insane. They’re absolutely still my family.” 
“So why’d you leave?” It’s Caitlin this time asking the question. “Sorry if that sounds rude I just mean if it was so perfect something must have happened, right?” “Yes and no. I think part of it was that I felt like I wasn’t progressing much as a player and I knew my contract was up at the end of the season so it seemed like the right time for a change. I think if I had been in a different headspace I might have tried to stay at OL Reign, but I was struggling a lot so it just wasn’t the right time for me to be there. I’d love to go back someday though.” You answer her question with complete honesty, already feeling as though you can trust the two women standing before you. 
Apparently satisfied with your answers, the two women go back to working in silence. You smile to yourself as you mix the salad dressing. It appears as though you’ve made your first friends at Arsenal. It feels good to have someone other than Leah in your corner. While she’s amazing, there’s something to be said about the strength of friendship. Just as you’re thinking of her, the blonde sneaks up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist, burying her head into your neck. You chuckle, leaning back slightly so that your weight is resting on her body. 
“Hey pretty girl.” She murmurs, the words vibrating against your neck. You shift your head slightly away from her, a suggestion that she should take advantage of the extra space. Thankfully, Leah takes the hint. She presses subtle kisses against your neck, and you can feel that she’s smiling as she does so. The moment is cut short all too soon, however, by Caitlin clapping her hands.
“Dinner’s ready I think!” The Aussie announces. “Y/N, Leah, stop your PDA and come eat.” Blushing, you separate from Leah and carry the salad bowl into the dining room. The brit is close on your heels, snagging the seat next to yours and placing her hand on your thigh as soon as she sits down. You lean over, beckoning Leah closer.
“Someone’s feeling a bit clingy tonight, huh, darling?” You whisper, cupping your hands around her ear. “And I thought I would be the one stuck to you all night.” 
Leah smirks at your comment, now leaning into your ear.
“I can’t help it, love. I can’t wait to get my hands on you later.” Her voice is low and rough, suddenly full of desire.
Her words elicit a small gasp from your lips, and you look at her purposefully. This is not the time nor the place for such a display but you’re also not too upset about it. You know she won’t push you farther than is comfortable and definitely won’t do anything that will embarrass you, so you’re content to let her tease you a bit. As the rest of your teammates sit down, you notice how easy this feels. You aren’t second guessing everything you say and you’re able to chat easily with each of the women sitting at the table. You sit with them for what is likely another two or three hours but feels like thirty minutes, talking and laughing with one another. Eventually, Leah is yawning next to you, sleepy from the amount of wine she’s had, so you decide it’s time to head home.
“Are you sure you’re alright to drive?” Viv asks with concern as everyone gathers by the front door getting ready to leave. “You’re more than welcome to stay the night.” “I only had one glass while I was cooking and that was ages ago. We’ll be alright, thanks so much Viv. Dinner was lovely” You smile warmly at the Dutch woman and pull her into a hug. You make the rounds to all the other girls, wishing them good night. When you reach Caitlin you grin as you hug her.
“Let’s do lunch soon, yeah?” You ask as you pull away.
“Absolutely. See you at training, mate.”
With that, you and Leah head to the car. As you’re pulling out of the driveway Leah looks at you, eyelids heavy with sleep.
“Thank you for coming tonight. It meant a lot to them. And me.” She murmurs, reaching to place her hand on your thigh once again. You put your hand on top of hers, tapping it lightly in reply. One night doesn’t automatically solve your problems but it’s a really good start.
Two Months Later
And I need you sometimes
We'll be alright
Met you at the right time
You’re pretty sure you’ve just ruined everything. Two months of pure bliss and you just destroyed it all with three stupid words. What had you been thinking? It’s too soon. You know that. You’re usually the one wanting to slow things down in relationships and yet you still did it. Something just came over you today. After Leah’s telling silence you had fled and now, here you are. Curled up in bed with a tub of ice cream, crying over everything you’ve just lost. 
After about an hour of this, you hear a knock on your door. Not in the mood to talk to anyone, you decide to ignore it and hope whoever it is will go away. They do not, and the knocking continues for another five or so minutes. Just as it’s finished and you’re thinking that the knocker has finally left, your phone lights up with a text.
Cait: Leah called me. Viv and I are here.
You wait a moment hoping they’ll get the hint, but no such luck.
Cait: Please let us in.
Sighing, you push yourself out of bed. The two women, who have quickly become some of your closest friends, are clearly not planning on leaving anytime soon. You open the door and are met by two of the most concerned faces you’ve ever seen.
“Shit, Y/N. Come here.” Viv exclaims upon seeing you, your face stained with tears.
Viv reaches out, enveloping you in a warm hug. You feel Caitlin’s arms wrap around you from behind. After a few moments of this, you pull away and gesture inside. The women follow you inside to the living room, settling on the couch on either side of you. Caitlin grabs your hand, squeezing lightly.
“We’re here if you wanna talk about it, but it’s okay if you just want to sit here.” The aussie says gently, nudging you with her shoulder.
“I want to talk about it.” You say, still sniffling. “Leah and I broke up.”
Three Hours Earlier
It started with pancakes. You had spent the night at Leah’s and woke up early, wanting to surprise her with breakfast in bed. When you woke, however, Leah was no longer in bed. Confused, you padded into the kitchen to find her at the stove–a rare sight. She didn’t notice you when you entered the kitchen, so you snuck up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist. She jumped slightly when you did so, a smile appearing on her lips.
“Whatcha doin’?” You asked, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Making you pancakes. But I can’t focus when you’re right there, you have to go sit at the counter.” She playfully nudged you away from her, and you obeyed, moving to sit at the counter. 
Watching her move around the kitchen, focusing oh so carefully on her cooking, determined not to mess up, you were struck suddenly with a thought. A thought you couldn’t hold in much longer. Just as she set a plate of pancakes in front of you, some part of your brain decided that was the perfect time.
“Leah.” You said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards you. You cupped her face, brushing her hair back. “I love you.”
She didn’t say anything. She stood there, looking down at you for what felt like hours, but didn’t say a single word. Dejected, you pulled away.
“I, um–I have to go.” You stammered, embarrassed that you had thought the two of you were ready for such a big step. 
“Y/N, wait–” She called after you, but it was too late. You had left, were driving home with tears rolling down your face. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.
Present
You look back and forth between Caitlin and Viv as you finish telling the story. They’re sharing some sort of knowing glance that you can’t read. Then, Viv places her hand on your arm.
“Y/N, that’s really hard and I know it feels like shit to not have her say it back but it doesn’t sound like you broke up.” Viv’s voice is soft, almost a whisper. You look at her, confused.
“What am I supposed to do now though? Pretend I never said it? I can’t do that.” 
“Nobody’s asking you to do that, we just think you should talk to her about it.” It’s Caitlin speaking this time. “And, by the way, she didn’t say you’d broken up when she called me. She just said you were upset when you left but she wasn’t sure if you’d want to see her.”
“Okay,” You sigh. “I’ll text her later to see if we can talk.” “Or,” Viv says as there’s another knock on the door. “You can talk to her now. We texted her when we got here.” Your friends get up to leave, each kissing you on the forehead as you sit frozen on the couch. You hear murmurs in the hallway and then the sound of the door shutting. Suddenly, Leah is standing in the living room, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. She’s clearly been crying too, her eyes bloodshot and her hair mussed. 
“Hi.” The blonde says tentatively, taking a step towards you. “Can I sit?” 
You nod, gesturing to the spot next to you on the sofa. She sits gingerly, clearly wary of how close she should sit. You look at her, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, she speaks first.
“So I think I owe you an explanation.” She looks at you, searching your face. For what exactly you’re unsure, but you nod at her to continue. “My last relationship moved pretty fast. We said I love you pretty early on and then we kind of crashed and burned. I swore to myself I wouldn’t do that again so today when you said it I was caught off guard. I didn’t want to ruin such a good thing. But then you left and I was broken. Not knowing where you were or if you were okay…I couldn’t stand to lose you. That’s when I realized.”
“Realized what?” You look up at her to see that she’s been waiting for you to make eye contact.
“That I love you too.” 
When she says this you lean farther into her, pressing your lips to hers. This kiss is different from all the ones you’ve shared before. It’s tentative, not because you don’t know each other but because you don’t want to move it too fast. You both want to savor it, not wanting to let go of this moment.
-
Later that night as you lie in bed together, a question pops into your mind. A question that might be risky, but that you can’t shake. 
“Leah?” You murmur, twisting in her arms so you can look at her. “What would you say if I asked you to move in with me?” A wide smile appears on your lips and she kisses you once more.
“I’d say I was about to ask you the same damn thing, my love.”
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bedoballoons · 4 months
Note
(idk why i always ask for fics like im ordering something off a mcdonald’s drive thru menu) hi!! can i get uhhh headcannons of ayato, alhaitham, diluc, and scara (separately) w a reader that has traumatic flashbacks while watching scary movies? i know it’s very specific and niche, so feel free to ignore this request
💌- anon
Pffff, please that's to funny. I hope you don't think I ignored this, I'm just slow! I actually love this idea so I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request!!
─⊰💕𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤💕⊰─
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{༻~Brings back all the memories~༺}
CW: GN! Reader who has trauma, angst to fluff! Slight cursing!
Character talking is tilted
(Includes: Diluc, Alhaitham, Ayato, and Scaramouche!)
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𑁍༄Diluc:
Why...why did it feel like you couldn't breath anymore? Everything was fine...you were just watching a movie, just sitting on the sofa with Diluc...when did it change? When...when did you end up here? In the very place that gave you nightmares, that traumatized you..it was impossible....right?
No...no it had to be impossible
This wasn't real. It couldn't be...anything but this. Anything but that feeling of your tears running down your face till you'd used them all, anything but the sting in your throat from the pleas and cries for help...anything but back here!
"Are you okay?"
You blinked rapidly, air flowing back into your lungs when you saw the movie had been paused...it wasn't real. It. Wasn't. Real. "Y-yeah, just...can we watch something else I'm sorry I-"
"There's no need to apologise. How about we watch something happier, you can move in closer to me too. I'll calm you down the best I can."
𑁍༄Alhaitham:
You covered your ears, hoping to drown out the sounds, to not relive the things you'd experienced, but it was like you couldn't do anything. You were tapped in your past self...ready to experience every horrible thing again and again, "Help! H-help! Someone?!? Anyone?!?" But there was still no one...just like before...just like every other time.
Your hands started to shake, your stomach churning, no. No. Please, not again. Where was Alhaitham, where was the life you'd built to never think about this version of you again?? "H-hello..please...someone, just help..I need help.." You leaned your head back against the dirty wall behind you and rocked back and forth, quietly begging for help.
"It's alright, I turned off the movie. I'm here."
You let go of your ears at the familiar sound of Alhaithams voice and it was like your eyes had adjusted back to normal...his hand firm on your arm, pulling you back to reality. "I...I was back-"
"I know...lets not talk about it anymore alright? I'll make you a cup of tea and we can read a book together instead. Honestly we should have done that in the first place, literatures much better then any recording and this is only proving that...will you be alright?"
𑁍༄Ayato:
You were struggling, struggling to keep yourself sane after what had just happened..one moment you're with Ayato, laughing about how silly one of the characters in the movie was and now...now you were terrified. Now you were running, legs burning, breathing tossed aside to make room for short gasps for air and strangled screams. You were in hell...like you'd never left.
Your heart was racing, beating like it was about to explode...you just have to get away, you just have to go further. Please, you begged your body to catch with your mind, to just run faster but you could tell you were slowing down...you just didn't have the energy left. "No! Fuck!" You shouted as you fell to the ground, had you tripped? Had you used up all your stamina...did it matter? You couldn't get back up either way, all you could do was sit there trying to breath..
"It's alright my dear, come here."
"Ayato?" You closed your eyes tightly and then, you were back in front of the TV, Ayatos arms tight around you, the movie shut off and tears running down your cheeks. "I thought it was real...I w-was so scared."
"It wasn't real, you're safe and sound with me and that's how it's going to stay. I won't let anything like that happen to you ever again, I promise."
𑁍༄Scaramouche:
You stared out the window, feeling the cold chill your bones...this had to be just a memory and yet it was so real, you could even see your breath in the freezing air. Had your life with him been just another dream? Had you never actually gotten to live those happy moments. You clutched your stomach, feeling so upset you could puke...
Everything you'd tried to forget, every smell, every feeling, every single terrifying moment, had been brought back, just for you to experience it again.
"Hey, you alright?"
You looked away from the screen, pulled out of your flashback so harshly your head was spinning...when had the movie turned into your past? "I...um yeah. I'm fine, sorry."
"Are you sure, cause you're crying and shivering like you've just seen the scariest thing in your life.."
"..."
"Come here you idiot, next time we are watching kid shows or something. I don't care how annoying they are."
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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧
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shankschewtoy · 1 year
Note
Hello! I really enjoyed the confessing to an oblivious s/o, but dang watching even shank’s and mihawk’s self esteem plummet HURT
If you don’t mind can we get a part 2 where it turns out the s/o was actually trying to be a good friend but was absolutely shattered thinking their man was in love with another, like after that ‘practice confession’ they’re straight up sobbing in their room!
Thanks for always posting such good fics💙💙
a/n - AAAAA IT HURT ME TOO 😭 omg wait this would be so sad but cute at the same time- tysm anon!! I’m so glad you like my works :)) 💜💜💜💜
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, part 1
It’s always been you
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- of all the things you wanted most in the world, it was for mihawk to share the same feelings you had for him
- When he asked you for help with confessing his love to another, your heart broke in two, it was like your whole world came crashing down for a moment
- it was painful to help him, knowing that those words weren’t meant for you.. but for someone else
- how lucky that person was to be the receiver of Mihawk’s love
- why couldn’t it be you?
- you went to your room to hide for the rest of the day, face in your pillow as you started to cry quietly
- Mihawk always knows what’s happening, so he managed to hear your sobs from outside the door
- he didn’t want to intrude in case you didn’t want anyone to bother you.. But he just HAD to open the door, he couldn’t take it, hearing you cry like that
- But before you opened the door, he heard you say this, “There was someone else?… Dammit!”
- He stopped, his hand stuck on the doorknob, wait- so did you love him back? Were you literally just being your oblivious self?
- He wanted to break down the door just to confess his love again, but- that really wasn’t his style
- he knocked before opening the door, making you scramble to your feet, pretending as if you were doing something else
- your act was seen through way before you even knew he was there, tears still flowing down your cheeks, snot starting to leak out of your nose, your eyes puffy and red from sobbing
- “Y/n what’s wrong?”
- You could barely stand to look him in the eyes, “Um. I heard what you said- not that I was eavesdropping..” wait- he was.. STUTTERING?!
- you were shocked, mihawk never stuttered, never
- “There’s not someone else, it’s always been you.” He managed to say, the SLIGHTEST tint of pink on his cheeks
- you were about to faint or start sobbing again, you really didn’t know which one was gonna happen
- why not both?
- Mihawk was a bit confused as to why you were crying- were you depressed by his confession?
- maybe this was the best day of your life, you really didn’t know, but you gave him a big hug as you ugly sobbed into his chest
- prepare for the most awkward hug of the year, and very weird back pats 💀
- it’s like he’s trying to say “there there” but literally doesn’t know how???
- idk the message came across alright 😭
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- imagine Benn dragging Shanks to his room and just slamming his drunk ass on the floor while dumping a bucket of water on him 💀
- benn would literally just leave him be before he managed to hear someone crying in your room
- who else would it be other than you?
- to you, shanks was sooo- amazing
- there was no one else you had more feelings for than him
- His playful personality, the way he literally was drunk 24/7 and always flirting with you, and even the way he’d go to you whenever he’d start sobbing after drinking too much
- but when he asked you for help with confessing his feelings to someone else, you couldn’t help but have your heart shatter
- …you thought maybe there was hope that he liked you! With all that flirting he’s done with you, how could he like someone else?
- I guess you thought wrong
- fast forward to you starting to sob into your blankets, struggling to wipe all your tears away with your wet sleeves
- “There was someone else... I’m so stupid.” You said between sobs as you pounded your bed, your face slamming into your pillow, cries being muffled by the soft fabric
- benn hears all, you can’t escape him
- he grabbed shanks and shoved him against the wall for him to listen, and as you kept sobbing about how there was someone else, Shanks literally just ascended
- he sprinted out the room, breaking a window or two, maybe even a picture frame before bursting into your room, polluting the air with his alcoholic smell 💀
- “Y/n *hicc* I love you too-!”
- *dies and snores on the ground*
- … this asshole
- “What?! Shanks! Wake up!”
- literally didn’t wake up until 1pm the next day
- woke up hungover asf and literally didn’t remember confessing, but when you started kissing his cheek and giving him cuddles, he just went along with it 💀💀
- thought god enlightened his path, making everything he wanted come true 🫠
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- he’s gonna go sulk in his little training room for however long
- one of those people who will do a thousand pushups for every tear he sheds 💀💀
- (he actually cries a bit tho- he’s sad)
- after his 100000008 push-ups, he was tempted to go to your room and just- spit out all these bottled up feelings, but he didn’t
- when he walked past your room, he heard muffled sobs from inside (don’t ask me how he found your room he has an internal compass for you)
- “I’ve liked him for god knows how long- shit!” You said, sniffling and blowing your nose into nearby tissues
- Zoro’s eyes widened, so- you did like him!
- he was jumping for joy (inside his mind) on the outside he looked like 😐
- he opened the door without knocking, completely interrupting your crying session
- “Y/n. I heard you.”
- …
- “Why are you spying on me-?!”
- “I’m not spying on you dammit!”
- “Then how’d you hear me?!”
- “I- I was just listening very carefully as I walked by!”
- … idiot
- “Y/n. There’s not someone else. It’s always been you, not anyone else.”
- his words were filled with so much- devotion and sincerity, it was almost weird to see Zoro be so- romantic
- You were happy of course! But it was a bit shocking- and you were still trying to stop crying..
- There was a long awkward silence after his words, making him start blushing like crazy
- “Can you say something you idiot!” -Zoro
- “What am I supposed to say?!”
- “I don’t know maybe- I love you too or something?!”
- “… I love you too Zoro.”
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a/n - these were cute :)
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putellas14 · 1 year
Text
Crush (Ona Batlle x Reader)
850 followers? 🤯Thank you all so much for putting up with the chaos of this page to get a fic every so often. Writing an Ona fic for this felt right since she was the first person I wrote for here. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for sticking around. 🤍
Summary/anon request: R tells Alexia she likes Ona while Ona has a similar conversation with Jenni. Can the team moms make these two get over their issues to tell each other how they feel?
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“Ale, could I talk to you for a minute?” you asked. You played with the strap of your bag, hoping your captain wouldn’t be too mad about what you were about to tell her. You’d been struggling with it since you’d met Ona and you had tried, unsuccessfully, to get over it yourself. To get over her yourself. Alexia had been a really good friend to you until now and you hoped that wouldn’t change.
“Of course. What’s up?”
You looked around, seeing some of the other girls still lingering around the locker room. “Let’s get a coffee and talk?” She nodded and followed you out the locker room and into the cafeteria. There weren't many girls there.
"Find us a seat. I'll get the coffees," she said.
You picked a table in the corner of the room that only had two chairs, hoping to avoid anyone else joining this conversation. You loved your teammates but sometimes they didn't know boundaries. Alexia put the coffees on the table, giving you a soft smile when you looked up at her. Sitting in the seat opposite you, she waited for you to say something. You both silently drank your coffees for a minute before you finally decided it was now or never.
"Look, Capi, I've been really struggling the last few months with something. And it's awkward. And we're a team. And I didn't know who else to talk to. This has never happened to me before. And I've tried everything I can to just move past it but I can't."
Alexia reached across the table and took your hand in hers, gently rubbing her thumb over yours. It immediately helped to calm you down. "Look, kid. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Just tell me."
You looked up at her and your eyes caught Ona's over Alexia's shoulder. She gave you a worried smile, taking in the position you were sitting with Alexia. You nodded at her to let her know everything was okay.
Alexia looked over her shoulder to see who had caught your attention and bit her cheek to hold the smile when she turned back to you. She'd been watching you and Ona dance around each other ever since your first call up a year ago. "Hey," she said gently, tugging your hand to get your attention back. "Is this about Ona?"
Your eyes widened. Had you been that obvious? Did that mean Ona knew as well? Mortified, you lifted your free hand to cover your eyes and nodded.
"It's okay." She pulled your other hand away from your face and held it as well. "It's really okay."
"Does everyone know?"
"No, honey. But Ona is like my little sister and I've seen the way you look at her."
"I've tried really hard to get over her. I hate dating anyone on the team because it messes with dynamics." Alexia arched an eyebrow at you. "I'm not as good at controlling my emotions as the rest of you are. I mean, I don't even know if she likes me the same way I like her, so it might not even matter." You'd learned early on that there were a few couples on the team. You envied them. You could never tell when they were fighting or having disagreements because they never brought it to training or games. You knew you weren't as mature as that, though. And that scared you.
"How long have you been trying to get over her?"
"A year," you admitted. You tried not to look over her to Ona again, although you could feel Ona's eyes on you.
"Y/N, that's a really long time. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to see if she feels the same way?"
"No," you slipped your hands out of hers to take a sip of your coffee, "no, I can't. Please don't say anything. I just needed to tell someone because I was going crazy keeping it to myself."
"Of course not. I'll keep your secret. You can talk to me about it any time you need."
"Thank you. I'm sorry for unloading on you. I just didn't know who else to talk to."
"Don't apologize. And for what it's worth, I think you're actually very good at handling your emotions on the field. It's one of the things Jenni and I have talked about when discussing lineups for games we know are going to be physically intense. You never lose your cool, no matter how aggressive or dirty the other teams are playing."
"That's different," you muttered.
"I don't think it's as different as you're making it out to be. But I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to. Even though I still think you owe it to yourself to say something if you've been feeling this for so long."
"I'll think about it. Thanks for listening, Ale."
"Anytime you want to talk, you just have to ask," she said, standing up. Moving to your side of the table, she pulled you up and into a hug. "I promise everything will be okay."
You leaned on her for a minute, hoping she was right. Alexia was usually right about things. But you were so uncertain about this entire situation. And it was really leaving you feeling uneasy. "Thanks, Ale," you muttered into her shoulder. She rubbed a hand over your shoulder when she stepped back.
"You know where to find me if you ever want to talk more about it. But please think about what I said."
You nodded at her. "I will. See you later." Picking up the cups, you took them over to the dish rack to be cleaned. You felt Ona come up behind you so you weren't shocked to find her standing so close when you turned.
"You okay?" she asked, reaching out to touch your arm.
"All good." You offered her a smile. If either of you had known about the conversation occurring across the room from where you stood, neither of you would have been as comfortable in that moment.
On the other side of the room, Alexia dropped down next to Jenni. "Everything okay?" Jenni asked, rubbing a hand over Alexia's thigh.
"Apparently we have been setting too good of an example for the kids," she answered quietly. She picked up a few blueberries from Jenni's plate to eat.
"Meaning?" Jenni nudged the plate over towards her girlfriend.
"Y/N has a crush. And she's afraid it'll hurt team dynamics if something happens between them." Alexia turned to look at Jenni when she felt her stiffen. Narrowing her eyes, she studied Jenni's face. "You know something. Spill."
"No. Nothing. I know nothing." Jenni yelped when Alexia pinched her side. Pouting, she rubbed over the spot. "That was mean, babe."
"No secrets," Alexia reminded her.
"Fine. But when she comes for me, I'm throwing you in front of her. That kid has a nasty temper." Jenni looked up to see you and Ona leaving the cafeteria together. "Ona's got a crush, too."
"Let me guess. Y/N?" Jenni nodded. "Why are they like this?"
"I don't know but it's awfully cute, don't you think?"
"Yeah, adorable." Jenni drifted off for a minute, thinking back to when her and Alexia were that age, dancing around each other. "So how are we going to get them together?"
Alexia gave her a wide grin, pleased they were on the same page. Leaning conspiratorially towards her, she whispered a few suggestions in her ear.
The following day, Alexia called you and Ona over to sit at her table during breakfast. "Morning, girls." They both mumbled good morning and sat down next to each other. Alexia looked across the table at Jenni as you and Ona each took your first sip of coffee.
"Hey, Y/N," Jenni said. "I wanted to ask you something."
"What's up?" You put your coffee down and picked up a strawberry to eat as you looked over at Jenni.
"My baby cousin is coming to Seville the last week of the month. I was wondering if you'd take her out while she's there. Show her a good time." Jenni avoided looking at Ona but she could feel the woman glaring at her. Ona was fully aware of Jenni's "baby cousin" and her antics. When Jenni had asked Ona to show her around Manchester, the girl had tried everything in her power to get Ona into bed. Ona had called Jenni and cursed her for sticking her with "a piranha."
"She can't. She's supposed to be in Manchester that weekend," Ona said before you could respond.
"Oh, that's okay. She'll be there mid-week," Jenni said with a smile.
"Yeah, of course," you said, offering Jenni a smile. "It's no problem. I love showing people around my city. Just give her my number and tell her to text me." You looked over to give Ona a smile but she was busying herself with her breakfast. Narrowing your eyes, you studied her profile and missed the sly smile Jenni sent to Alexia.
Ona's mood didn't get any better as the day went on. In fact, it just got worse. She ignored you through most of the training. Even when you put her favorite playlist on. Usually she'd do a little jig she'd learned from Ivanna when she heard it but not today. You tried to ask her if she was alright a couple times, but she said she just wanted to focus.
That was when you got a glimpse of what life would be like if you dated Ona and ever fought. Further proving your point. As her mood got worse, so did yours. By the end of training, you were in such a foul mood that all you wanted to do was go back to your room and take a nap. You escaped as soon as your coach released you all, running back to your room. You took a long hot shower and pulled on a sweatshirt and shorts. Laying on your bed, you stared up at the ceiling.
Despite what Alexia said, you knew you couldn't do this. You couldn't put the team through this. You didn't even know what was wrong with Ona and it was still able to upset you. Setting an alarm for dinner, you shut your eyes and pushed back the few tears that wanted to roll down your cheeks.
The pounding sounded distant. And not at all like the alarm you'd set. Your eyes slowly opened and you realized it was knocking at your door. Rolling from the bed, you walked to the door and pulled it open. Ona stood on the other side, dressed in nearly the same thing as you.
"Sorry, were you napping?" she asked, looking at you.
"I was. But it's fine." Stepping back, you let her into your room. Silently, she walked past you, stopping in the center of the room. "Are you feeling better?" you asked once the door was shut.
"Not really. But I'll sort it out."
"Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Okay." You both lapsed into silence, neither sure what to say next. Ona reached out to play with the pocket of your jacket before pulling you into a hug. She buried her face in your neck and held on. You held her to you, feeling the tension slowly seep out of her body. Your own shoulders slowly relaxed as you held her.
"Should we get some dinner?" she asked, stepping back. You played with the end of her hair and nodded.
----
When you got back to Seville, you had a few weeks before Jenni's cousin was set to come to town. You cleaned your apartment and went to training and tried not to think about the extra-long hug Ona had given you when you'd left each other at the end of camp. It was only a month until you saw each other again. But it felt like ages.
Jenni's cousin, Carla, was nice enough. You'd met her a couple times at games over the last few years. She was traveling for a week before meeting up with her girlfriend in Portugal. The two of you had a lot in common and you had fun with her.
You couldn't ignore that Ona had stopped responding to you as soon as you told her Carla was with you, though. It was bothering you. Not a single response. Nothing to your 'good morning' or 'good night' texts. Nothing to you asking about training or her day. It had only been two days but you missed her. You knew she was perfectly fine because Man U had been posting videos of her from training.
Her non-response had you dreading the upcoming weekend. You'd never dreaded seeing Ona before. It wasn't a feeling you liked.
When Carla left, you called Alexia, nearly at your wits end. You were meant to leave in the morning for Manchester. And you really weren't sure that you should. Ona still hadn't said a word to you. You missed your best friend but it felt like she didn't miss you at all. You weren't sure how you would handle spending a weekend in Manchester with Ona acting cold towards you. 
"Ale," you said when she answered. You pulled the cover over your head, blocking out the city lights creeping through the curtains. "Ona won't talk to me."
"What do you mean, honey? What happened?"
"I don't know. She's been off since camp and then she just stopped replying to me a few days ago. Has she said anything to you? Or Jenni?" You could hear her ask Jenni if she'd heard from Ona this week. 
"We haven't talked to her, Y/N."
"I don't want to go to Manchester tomorrow," you were crying now. You felt so stupid. How could you have been so stupid to fall for Ona? How were you supposed to face her at camp next week?
"Let me call her. Let me see if I can figure out what's going on," she offered.
"I still don't want to go. Ale, I'm messing everything up for the team already and we're not even together," you cried.
"You're not. You haven't messed anything up."
"Our dynamics are going to be all off because of this."
"They're not. I promise you, Y/N. You have an incredible capacity to keep yourself focused on the field."
"Capi, I don't want to feel like this," you cried. "I don't want to like her."
"Sweetie, you can't just turn your feelings off like that." She let you cry for a minute because what else could she really do? "Come to Barcelona this weekend," she offered gently.
"What?" Wiping your sleeve across your face, you tried to catch some of the tears.
"Well you don't want to go to Manchester. And I don't want you to be alone. So come to Barcelona. You can stay at our house."
You thought about it for a moment. You didn't want to be alone. And you certainly didn't want to go to Manchester. "Okay. I'd like that."
"Great. It's settled then. We'll get you from the train station."
"Thank you."
"Not needed, kid. Get some sleep. We'll see you tomorrow." 
You looked up the train schedule for the next morning and saw there was one leaving at 8 that would get in early afternoon. That was perfect. You quickly cancelled your ticket to Manchester and texted Ona that you wouldn't be coming. You didn't expect her to respond but you turned your phone off anyways, just in case. You didn't really want to see what she had to say if she did respond.
By the time you made it to Barcelona, you were pissed off. Your sadness had worn off and now you were just mad. As far as you knew, you hadn't done anything to warrant Ona's behavior. And if you had, she was acting immature by not telling you what the problem was.
The four coffees you'd had on the train ride probably hadn't helped to calm you down at all.
After dropping your bag off, you went for a run with Jenni and Alexia. You weren't yet in the mood to really talk to them. But they talked to each other, poked fun at the frown on your face, and tried to get a smile out of you. By mile 5, they finally got a laugh out of you. You slowly started relaxing. The anger had taken over your body, had made you tense on the train. By the time you were back at their apartment, you felt more like yourself.
"Is it okay if we go meet Aitana for her birthday? Or do you want to stay home?" Jenni asked when you were all back inside.
"Of course that's okay. I didn't mean to ruin any of your plans."
Alexia put a hand on your shoulder. "You're not ruining anything. Aita would've understood it if you wanted a quiet night in."
"Yeah. No, it's fine, let's go."
And that's how you found yourself sitting at a table with a bunch of the Barca and national team girls two hours later. If there was one thing these girl could do, it was lift your spirits. Over the next hour your mind didn’t wander to Ona once. Your mind didn’t remember that you were mad and hurt and sad. All it knew was love and happiness and joy and laughter.
Until she walked in with Laia Alexandrei an hour into dinner.
“We’re so sorry we’re late. Ona’s flight was delayed.”
“Funny how you could make time for this.” It was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.
"You're the one who cancelled last minute." She jerked her chair back and sat down, refusing to look in your direction. "I see this is what was more important."
You were taken aback. How was she even pretending to make any of this your fault? Fine. If she was going to be that way, then you could ignore her too. You turned back to Jenni, who was looking across the table at Alexia, both of them appearing to talk to each other without actually talking.
"What?" you asked quietly.
"Nothing," Jenni said, looking at you. "Are you okay?" she whispered.
You flashed her a smile, intent on putting Ona to the back of your mind again. "Perfect. I'm here with my friends. Celebrating Aita's birthday. I'm perfect." For the rest of dinner, you ignored Ona's presence at the table. Usually the two of you would make eye contact, would talk to each other, would share your inside jokes. But not tonight.
You ignored the deep, deep ache that was settling in your chest the longer you sat at that table. The ache spread through your entire body when Aitana cut her cake and Laia leaned over to give her a birthday kiss. When it was appropriate, you excused yourself to escape to the bathroom.
You took a few deep breaths, leaning against the sink. "It's okay," you muttered to yourself. "Everything's fine. Friends fight. You'll get through this." You washed your hands in cold water, barely feeling it. Taking a few more deep breaths, you went back out to the table.
"I snagged you a slice of cake," Jenni said when you sat down again.
"Thanks."
"We can take off after this, if you want," she whispered.
"I'm fine," you answered, reaching for your wine. "We can stay as long as you guys want. Don't worry about me."  She ran her fingers through the ends of your hair.
"We didn't know she was going to be here, kid. We promise."
"It's okay, Jenni. We can't control other people. It's fine." But you knew she didn't believe you. You could feel her eyes on you for the remainder of the night. You kept the smile plastered on your face, no matter how much it hurt now. After you'd come back from the bathroom, you hadn't been able to lie to yourself anymore. You were really hurt. So hurt you didn't know how you would get up tomorrow.
But tonight, you needed to be there for your friends.
Tomorrow was tomorrow's problem.
At the end of the night, you hugged all your friends good night. You looked at Ona across the room, debating whether to say good night to her. You wanted to. You badly wanted to hug her and apologize and make everything fine between you again.
But you couldn't. You couldn't forget how she'd made you feel. How unwanted and unimportant she'd made you feel. How easily she had dismissed your feelings, like they weren't important.
If you knew that she was feeling the exact same things as you, you would have given into your heart and gone to her.
But Alexia came to you, asking if you were ready. With one last glance across the room, you nodded. That night, you stared at the ceiling of their guest room and barely slept for an hour. The following morning, you knew you had bags under your eyes as you sat across from Alexia at the table, sipping your coffee.
"What shall we do today?" she asked.
"Doesn't matter. I just don't have the energy to run into Ona today. If you wouldn't mind just texting Laia and seeing where they are today, I'd like to just avoid that."
"You'll have to talk to her eventually." Alexia picked up her phone and sent out a quick text to Laia.
"We'll see each other at camp. That's soon enough."
----
But it was still too soon. She was in the lobby when you walked in. You greeted your coach and got your room key. And attempted to keep your breathing even. Alexia had promised you that she'd made certain you weren't assigned to share a room with Ona. At least that was a small comfort.
You soon learned that even though you weren't sharing a room with her, she was just across the hall from you. The two of you bumped into each other on more than one occasion leaving your rooms. Luckily, you hadn’t had the displeasure of actually having to work with her alone or be around her alone. You didn’t think you’d be able to handle that just yet.
Alexia and Jenni tried what they could to shield you from her. And you were extremely grateful to them for that. They didn’t have to. They loved Ona. They’d known Ona for longer than they’d known you. You would have understood if they’d sided with Ona here but you still would have been hurt.
You couldn’t help it. Without Ona by your side, you were feeling overwhelmed by your emotions. You wished the two of you could be in the same space without taking digs at each other. You wished you could just ask her what the problem was and trust that she would tell you. You wished for so many things. So many things that you wished you didn’t wish for anything. You knew wishing didn’t do anything for you. You knew wishing wouldn’t get you anywhere.
 The day of the friendly against Switzerland, you rushed out of room for breakfast. You couldn't believe how late you were already. Hopping on one foot down the hall, you yelled for the person in the elevator to hold it open. You could see the doors beginning to close as you neared and you hurled your body through the opening, hoping you'd make it through.
Seeing Ona standing in the elevator alone made you wish the doors had shut fully before you'd gotten there.
"Late?" she asked.
"You are, too," you answered with a sneer. Bending, you tied your shoe properly. The elevator came to an abrupt stop and your head snapped up. You hated elevators to begin with. Being trapped in an elevator was one of your worst nightmares. To be trapped with Ona right now was a different kind of nightmare.
Standing, you pressed the button for the first floor. Nothing happened. You tried the call button but nothing happened.
"I'll try to call down," Ona said. As she dialed the number on her phone, you realized you left your phone in your room. Of course you had. The one time you actually needed it and you didn't have it. You could hear her tell the front desk that you were stuck in the elevator but your heartbeat was getting louder. When she disconnected the phone, she turned to tell you what they said.
But you were too focused on yourself in that moment. You could feel your throat beginning to close up. It was too hot. The fire was spreading through your entire body. Your breathing was too heavy. You could barely breathe. You tried to give yourself air by pulling on the collar of your shirt. Sliding down, you sat down hard, barely able to stop your head from hitting the handle.
"Y/N. Hey." Ona crouched down in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried not to take anymore of your surroundings in. You could tell Ona was talking to you because her breath was hitting your face but you weren't making out any of her words.  "Look at me, amor." She grabbed your face, forcing you to meet her eyes. "Match your breathing to mine. In," she breathed in, "out" and she let it out. You tried to follow her instructions.
Her hands on your face and her proximity to you should have felt suffocating. But it wasn't. She wasn't. She was a comfort. You tried to focus your attention on her hands on your face rather than on the small space of the elevator. You tried to follow her instructions to match your breathing to hers.
When you began to feel right again, you asked her to step back and give you some space. You started to stand, slowly. Ona immediately put her hands under your elbows to hold on to you. She dropped her hands when you glared at her. You held onto the handlebar for dear life and saw Ona retreat into the far corner.
"Are you okay?" she asked, quietly.
"I'm fine now." You wrapped your arms around your stomach.
"Why didn't you come to Manchester?" she asked after an awkward moment of silence.
You looked over at Ona. Ignoring the sad look on her face, you said, "You're kidding me, right?"
"I -" The radio let out a loud static sound followed by the front desk clerk letting them know someone had arrived to open the doors for them. "Jenni said I was idiot for hurting you. I wanted to ask what she meant. But she just called me an idiot again."
"Because you are." You rubbed the side of your head. "I don't want to fight with you anymore, Ona."
"I don't want to fight anymore either."
"Great. So please respect that and don't talk to me anymore."
"Wait a second. I don't want to fight anymore. I mean, I want to be friends again."
"I can't be friends with someone who completely disregards what I'm feeling." The back of your eyes burned but you refused to cry. Not right now. Not in front of her.
"Y/N, I put you on a pedestal. Everything is about how and what you feel."
"You left me alone, Ona. No explanation. No response. Nothing. You just, you disappeared. You made me feel like I was unimportant."
"No, I - "
"Don't tell me what I felt!" you exploded. "Please. Don't do that," you said, almost whispering the last words.
"I'm sorry." She folded her arms over her chest and leaned back, her chin tucked down slightly. You knew that was her signal that she was done talking. That her brain was shutting down to the outside world and she was going into herself. That worked just fine for you. You didn't want to talk to her anyways.
The two of stewed in silence while the doors of the elevator were slowly pried opened. While you allowed yourselves to be helped out of there. And then you went your separate ways. There was no need for anymore words right now. The damage was apparent to the both of you. The way to peace entirely unknown, if a path even existed.
Walking into breakfast, you'd never felt so disconnected from the girls around you. Ona had always been your anchor to them, however odd that was. Even this past week when all you had exchanged with her was snide comments, her presence helped you feel like you belonged there. It was a feeling that didn't make much sense to you and you didn't know exactly what to call this feeling.
Without looking around the room, you knew Ona wasn't in the room. You would have known. Taking a couple breaths to try to bring yourself back to this moment, you went to the food table and filled a plate with food. You'd seen Jenni at the corner table while you waited for eggs and she's motioned for you to come to her.
Taking the seat across from them, you started eating silently.
"You good, kid?" Jenni asked, her eyes slightly wide, watching you eat spoonfuls of food without really chewing.
"Fine. Got stuck in the elevator." You washed it all down with your coffee.
"Alone?"
Narrowing your eyes at her, you said, "No." Normally, she would have asked if you were okay and be more focused on your wellness. "I got stuck with Ona."
“Mission accomplished,” Jenni said, holding out her hand to high five Alexia. When Alexia slapped her hand, you narrowed your eyes at them again.
“You made the elevator stop?” You couldn’t believe they would do something like that to you.
“You two needed to talk," Alexia answered. "And you weren’t going to without a little push.”
"I expect this kind of behavior from her," you tilted your head towards Jenni, "but not from you, Ale."
"Okay, your annoyance for us aside," Jenni said, "did you two talk?"
The tips of your ears began to burn. "I had a panic attack," you whispered.
"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Alexia asked, immediately getting out of her seat and rounding the table to pull you into a hug.
"I'm fine now. I don't know what happened but everything just started closing in on me and I couldn't breathe."
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Alexia said, pulling you closer again. "We didn't mean for that to happen. We just wanted you two to talk."
"Well, then, mission failed," you mumbled.
Alexia let you go and sat back in her seat. "Tell us."
"It was awful, guys. I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore."
"What?" Jenni exploded, drawing the attention of several others, including Ona. She waved them away saying everything was fine. "Sorry," she said when you glared at her. "What do you mean, exactly, Y/N?"
"Jenni, those words aren't confusing," you said annoyed. "I said I don't want to be friends anymore."
"Why did you say that?"
"I don't know, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore." You began to gather your things. "I'm tired. I need to relax before the game. I think I'll go to my room for a bit. Excuse me."
You retreated to your room, to your bed, hiding under the covers until it was time for the team to meet. You ignored your roommate trying to make conversation and put your earbuds in, endlessly scrolling TikTok. You were already regretting telling Ona you didn't want to be friends. You wanted Ona back more than anything. You weren't lying when you said you didn't know why you had said those words. They had come out before you could fully think about it. And you hated yourself for it. You hated the look on Ona's face. You hated the way she retreated into herself. You silently cried under the covers while you ate your snacks.
When 2:00 rolled around, you washed your face and straightened your ponytail. You put a small amount of mascara on and tried to smile at your reflection. It was game time and for the next few hours, that pitch was all that mattered.
You made sure to follow your exact pre-game rituals. They helped you get focused and ready for what was to come. Plus, you were superstitious. If you didn't do it exactly right, that could be why you had a bad performance.
During the team meeting, you focused on your coach and his words. After the meeting, he pulled you aside and told you that he'd like to give one of the newer girls some playing time in your position towards the end of the match. It was a friendly and you didn't much care. Plus, she was a great young player and needed time with the team to prove herself.
The match was relatively uninteresting. At the half, Spain was up 3-0. You were happy to be winning but you really felt the need to have a fight right now. That's what you wanted. You wanted a battle for the ball, you wanted a battle for a goal, you just wanted a battle.
What you did not want was to hear the sound of Ona's head hitting the goal post and to hear it echo throughout the stadium. What you did not want was to see was her body, unmoving, crumpled in front of Sandra. Screaming her name, you and the med team ran as fast as possible towards her.
"Ona!" you said, dropping down next to her, opposite Sandra. You hovered over her face, fear coursing through every corner of your body. "Ona, Ona wake up." You grabbed her waist, your fingers digging in. "Ona. Come back to me," you whispered. Someone tugged your arm to get you to move back and you reluctantly stood while the medics checked her. You saw her eyes flutter open, and she looked around her confused.
Alexia held onto your arm as they put Ona on a stretcher. You didn’t realize you had started to shake until she rubbed your shoulder and whispered that Ona would be fine. The doctors would take care of her and you’d all go to see her right after the game finished.
You finished the match in a haze. When coach finally pulled you out in the 75th, you tried to get off the field and to the medical room. Laia stopped you and said they had taken Ona to the hospital.
“Oh,” you said quietly. Sitting down, you tried to focus on the game. But your thoughts were on Ona. You couldn’t handle it if she was really injured. And what if it was worse than that? What if your last words to her were that you didn’t want to be friends with her anymore? You didn’t know if you’d be able to handle that. You didn’t know if you would ever be able to get over that pain.
Jenni was subbed out in the last couple minutes and she beelined directly to you, pulling you close against her side for the remainder of the match. You rested your body against her, your head on her shoulder, and tried not to cry. You could not cry here. The tears were prickling the corner of your eyes. Biting the inside of your cheek, you tried to hold it back. You could not cry here.
When the game was over, you made your way onto the pitch to meet with the other players. You greeted them as quickly as possible before you were ushered off the field by Alexia, who had somehow managed to arrange a car to take you to the hospital.
You lied to the security guard to get access to Ona's room. You weren't sure what this hospital's rules were and you weren't going to risk being denied access. You weren't sure what you expected to see in her room, but Ona sleeping peacefully was not it. Hoping not to wake her, you took your boots off and left them by the door, tip-toeing to the chair next to her bed.
Putting a hand on the bed next to hers, you tested to see how deeply asleep she was. She didn't move. Lifting her hand, you pressed a light kiss to her fingers. You laid her hand back down on the bed next to her and rested your hand on top of hers.
For the next half hour, you talked to her, about everything and nothing. Telling her what you had been doing since your cancelled trip to Manchester. There were so many times you had done something and wanted to text her. So many sunrises you'd watched that you wanted to send her photos of. So many coffees you'd wanted to share with her. So many moments of your life that should have been happy but had been shrouded in a little dark cloud because you couldn't share it with her.
"I didn't mean what I said in the elevator," you whispered. "I want you back in my life so badly. I miss you so much, Ona. I love you."
The door banged open behind you, jarring Ona awake. Her eyes flicked around the room, trying to orient herself, while Jenni told off Patri for being so loud about her entrance. Ona's eyes landed on you, and moved down to where your hand still covered hers. "What's going on?" she mumbled.
"I'll get the doctor," Aitana said.
"Ona, do you remember what happened?" you asked quietly, your fingers tightening on hers.
"Not really." Her eyes welled up. "Y/N. What are you doing here?"
"We're all here, Ona," Patri said. "You hit your head pretty good during the game."
"Who let you all in here?" the doctor asked as he came into the room. "Ms. Batlle, how are you feeling?"
"Okay. Just have a headache."
"You took a hard hit to your head. You have a mild concussion. We were waiting for you to wake up but we'll be sending you back to camp pretty shortly here. I talked to your medics there already. They'll take over your care from here. Basic concussion precautions, Ms. Batlle. Come back if there are any changes."
"So we can take her back?" Alexia asked. "Has she taken an meds we should know about?"
"Someone will be here in a few minutes to discharge her and then she's free to go. I sent a message to your medical team but she's taken meds for the headache and should continue taking those so long as the headache persists. I trust you can get her back to camp safely."
"Yes, doctor," Alexia affirmed. He left them alone and Alexia turned to the large group. She ordered the majority of them back on the bus. She stayed behind with Jenni, Laia, and you to bring Ona back in a car.
"Did we win?" Ona asked when the room cleared.
"5-0," Laia answered.
"Then it was worth it," Ona said. She closed her eyes again, letting her head rest back against the pillow. You and Laia exchanged a look, both rolling your eyes. Ona would always put the game above all else, even her own health.
Over the next few days, you and Laia took turns watching over Ona. You wanted to talk to Ona, really talk to her about what had happened. But the medical staff had told you all that Ona was not to have any stress. And you didn't want to be the reason Ona didn't heal properly.
For Ona, these days with you were something out of a dream. She didn't believe she had woken up back to a world where you were treating her with care and neither of you were making snide comments towards the other. She had asked Laia to pinch her on multiple occasions. Laia had pinched her but had always called her an idiot while doing so. Ona had to agree. She had been an idiot. After a long night talking with Jenni, Ona had finally admitted what happened. And Jenni had called her an idiot a few more times. Ona never told Laia what happened or of her feelings for you, but the way the two of you danced around each other had made it obvious to her.
On the third night, the final night you would be staying here, you had volunteered to stay with her after dinner. Most of the team had gone back to their home, camp having concluded. A few of you had remained, opting to stay behind and watch over Ona in the time before she was allowed to travel home. You had managed to avoid being alone with her until now, not wanting to begin any type of argument while she was supposed to be resting.
And that had been your plan for this evening as well. Play some games with Ona, watch over her while she slept, and then leave. But Ona had other ideas. You could feel her eyes on you while you set up the game. "We'll just play a short round before bed, Ona," you said, dealing her five cards. "I know you've been resting a lot but the doctors said it was important you sleep well every night."
"You sound worse than my mom when she calls," she murmured.
"We always did get along well," you said, smiling.
"She asked if I would bring you to dad's birthday party."
"Oh." You discarded a couple cards, drawing from the deck to replace them. With a satisfied whoop, you dropped the ace on the bed between you and moved your piece forward on the board.
"Oh? Just 'oh.' Any other comment?"
"I'm not sure there's anything else to say, Ona."
"Do you want to come home with me for dad's birthday?" she asked, looking at you over her cards.
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course. I always want you around."
That familiar hurt in your chest made itself known and you lowered your eyes, focusing on the cards in your hand. You refused to let those terrible feelings ruin this moment. This moment that was nothing but pleasant.
"Y/n/N? You okay?" she asked, kicking your leg with hers.
"Yup. It's your turn."
"Forget the game. I want to talk."
"Ona, the doctor said you need to rest. I don't think we should have this conversation right now. Let's just play the game."
"I've done nothing but rest for days. I'm rested. I want to talk to you. Please. I'm fine."  Ona took the cards from your hand, and put them with hers on the bedside table. She moved the board across the bed so nothing remained between you. Moving closer, she let her legs rest of either side of you. "You said I made you feel unimportant," she said quietly. "I am very sorry I made you feel that. You are incredibly important in my life, Y/N."
You  met her eyes, trying to judge the sincerity of her words. "Why did you disappear, Ona? Why didn't you answer any of my messages?"
"I tried so many times. Every time I picked up my phone to text you, I just saw Carla with you in my mind. And I hated it."
"Carla?" you asked, confused. "What does she have to do with anything?"
"Nothing, really. I was jealous. It was stupid. I was an idiot. I thought Jenni sent her to you to try to set you up with her. When I met Carla, she tried very hard to flirt me into bed. And I was mad at Jenni for doing that even when she knew the truth. And I didn't know how to talk to you about it."
"Ona, you're not making any sense."
"I know." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before taking your hands and scooting a little closer. "You are very important to me, Y/N. And I'm jealous of anyone who gets close to you. Because I, well, I like you, a lot, Y/N. And I told Jenni just a few days before she set up this visit with Carla. And I was irritated with Jenni for that. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. You're special, Y/N."
You sat in disbelief for a moment. Thinking about what Ona said. Thinking about your own feelings. All your brain could come up with was, "Those assholes both knew." Ona looked at you confused. "They did this on purpose."
"Huh? Who?"
"Jenni and Alexia. You said you told Jenni just a few days before that you like me. And I told Alexia the day before that I like you. They did this on purpose. Idiots."
"Hold on. Back up. You told Alexia what?"
"Er, right." In your annoyance with your captains, you didn't realize exactly what you were saying and now that you were being asked to repeat it, you were suddenly nervous. You silently chastised yourself for being nervous. Ona had already told you she liked you. There was nothing to actually be nervous about. "I told Alexia that I like you, that I have feelings for you."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
You raised your eyebrow at her. "Pot. Kettle."
"Point taken."
"But it was more that I was trying to get over you and I didn't know how to." At the defeated look that crossed Ona's face, you continued, "I failed, don't worry. Even despising you the last month, I couldn't get over you. And I was scared to date someone on the team because what would happened when we fought?" You turned your hand over under Ona's and curled your fingers around her. "The last month was the worst but it also showed me that I can continue being a good teammate and player even when we're off."
"I could've told you that wasn't something you ever needed to worry about. You're incredible on the field, amor."
Your mind went back to that day in the elevator, with Ona's hands on your face, her body crouched in front of yours. Look at me, amor. "You called me that before."
"Sorry. It just came out." The tips of her ears turned pink.
"I like it," you admitted. You grinned at each other. "Ona?"
"Y/N," she answered in the same tone.
"Do you think you might want to come to Seville one weekend? So I can take you out on a date?"
"How's this weekend?" The corner of her lip tipped up.
"Wide open."
"Y/N?"
"Ona."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Absolutely."
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buckyalpine · 1 year
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hi 🫶🏻 sad fluff anon here. btw j wanna say I LOVED “always you” thank you sm!! i j love love ur writing 🥹 if it isn’t a bother…could u please write another sad fluff fic with bucky but its inspired by the tiktok audio “u came.” “u called.”
Nomad!Ex!Bucky x reader (happy ending)
Baby the only bother here is how fucking long I took to get to this, I'm so sorry. I really really hope you see this. I love this.
Some sadness but plenty of fluff to make up for it.
His hands shook as he tried to stitch a gash on the side of his torso, blood spilling from the fresh cut, the serum doing little to heal the wound. He winced, collapsing to the floor feeling dizzy, floating in and out of consciousness. The last thing he could remember was running. He'd managed to make it to his apartment without bleeding out in the hall but he couldn't do anything to stop it now.
He cried out, trying to stand back up and slipping on his own blood, finally resting on the floor, unable to do much else. His body moved on his own, his hand reaching into the pocket of his jeans, pulling his phone out. He struggled to focus on the buttons of his burner phone, he didn't even bother saving numbers, fearing what would happen if it got lost and landed in the wrong hands.
He didn't even know who he could call. Part of him wondered if he should just succumb to his injuries. 
No.
If he was lucky, he'd die but what if, just what if they some how found him first. Just like the first time they found him in the snow. He couldn't go through that again. The world couldn't go through that again.
He only had one number he could remember. 
It had been 3 years but he’d never forget it. 
Even if he tried. 
He tried so hard to shake off all the memories, to remind himself it was better this way, for him to be alone, no ties to anyone. He ended everything, with nothing but a note left in his place, begging his angel to forgive the choice he was making. 
****
He could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, running, down the hall, getting closer and closer to his apartment. After a momentary struggle with the lock, the door opened and clicked shut. 
“James?”  He heard those soft footsteps search frantically around the apartment, his angel’s voice calling for him. He could barely keep his eyes open when the bathroom door swung open. 
“James!” You gasped, running to his side, your hand covering his gash, while cradling his face to make him look at you. Dark bruises littered his skin, a another cut near his forehead and other small wounds covering his body. “Bucky, what happened, who did this?” 
"You came" Bucky whispered tears welling in his eyes, feeling your warm soft hand cupping his cheek, the sound of your voice already healing him. 
"You called" You didn’t know where to focus first, your heart racing when you felt his hand on top of yours, pressing your hand further against his cheek. 
"You came" Bucky repeated, unsure if he had died on gone to heaven, the sweet angel that had always been by his side, gently holding pressure to his wound while softly caressing his face. "You came"
"I'm here now" You nodded, doing your best to hold pressure on his cut while digging through the first aid kit, quickly working at his worst injury before tending to the others. Bucky didn’t feel an ounce of pain, because nothing hurt more than his heart. Here you were, tending to him with soft gentle hands, whispering comfort, asking if he was okay, as if he didn’t break your heart, leaving you without looking back. 
3 years. 
His heart had ached for you, yearned for you, he missed you every second of the day but he didn’t want to be selfish, dragging you into the mess of his life. He cried and called for you every single night, only to wake up alone, the bed cold, the room dark with nothing but his nightmares to keep him company. 
“You came” He couldn't take his eyes off you while you gently cleaned him off, before helping him stand, and strip the rest of his clothes off, guiding him to the shower and turning the warm water on to wash the grime and dried blood off of him. He winced at the sting, while you grabbed some soap, lathering it between your hands, softly massaging his skin. 
“Are you okay baby?” You felt your face heat up and the slip up of the name, even after all these years it felt natural. You kept your eyes trained on his chest as best as you could; your body heating up, he was still as beautiful as always. His eyes were more sullen, beard grown fuller and he had more scars on his body than you remembered but he was beautiful nonetheless. 
“I’m okay doll” The name he had just for you rolled of his tongue without hesitation, his hands slowly moving to grip onto your waist, slipping up your now wet t-shirt. He rested his forehead on yours while you gently slipped your hands down his body, careful to avoid causing him more pain. You grabbed a towel that hung nearby, drying him off while he sat on the edge of the tub. You went to his room, grabbing some boxers for him to throw on. 
“Come here” You threw his arm over your shoulder, helping him into bed and tucking him in before cleaning up the remaining mess of the bathroom. You hopped in the shower yourself, throwing your wet clothes aside and rinsing off any blood that had gotten onto your skin. You wrapped yourself up with a towel, making your way over to his room to change into some of his sweats.  
He watched you carefully as you quietly padded around his bedroom, grabbing one of his Henley’s and boxers, dropping the towel onto the rack before slipping his clothes on. Bucky’s breathed hitched watching you fold away a few of his clothes that he hadn’t put away. You left the room, coming back with some pain meds and water, sitting on the side of his bed. 
Home. He finally felt like he was home. 
He had lived in the very same apartment for 3 years but tonight it felt like a home. 
“Here, take these” You handed him his medicine, helping him take a few sips of water before putting the glass on the side of the table. “I can sleep on the couch-
“Stay?” He held your wrist when you were about to leave, tugging you to slip under the covers with him. “Please doll?” 
You couldn’t resist him, carefully crawling under the sheets, your heart hammering in your chest when he wrapped his arm around you waist to pull you closer. He brought your head to lay on his chest, his body finally relaxing, for the first time, his bed felt warm. 
“Angel?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes, “I’m sorry sweets” You wiped the tears that slipped down his cheeks, kissing them away. “Please don’t ever go” 
“I’m here baby, not going anywhere” You stroked his hair, gently lulling him to sleep, while he hugged you tighter. 
“You came” He kissed your forehead, holding you close, he’d never ever let you go. He made the mistake once and he’d never make it again.
“You called” You whispered against his skin, finally feeling whole again. 
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