#so i won't want it and therefore won't cherish it enough

[hdawg1995]

if beaver is a fish during lent molt balls are not chocolate for the same reason. -Me, giving up chocolate instead of ice cream this year.

[queenofmalkier]

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

[just-null]

your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos

IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.

I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.

MERRY OCTOBER YALL

[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]

[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]

OKAY LETS GO.

Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..

But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.

Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.

That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.

Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.

He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?

Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.

Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.

Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.

Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.

Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”

You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.

The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.

It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.

The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...

Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.

And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.

If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.

He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!

Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!

[scatterbrainedart]

I know I've literally talked about this before already but I need to do it again more in depth because I'm deeply ill. Anyhow.

Crowley was there at the creation of the universe. He was there as nebulae sprung into existence and time came to be. He slipped the switch of existence itself. And upon hearing how it all would shut down in just a few thousand years he was really upset. Because the universe was precious to him, and he wanted to see it flourish to its full potential.

Even then, Crowley wanted to fight for its right to exist. To be. He cared about the world to point of falling. He spent 6000 years on Earth, learning about and cherishing all it had to offer. The world is morally gray by default, and it's the only place in Crowley's existence that is. Therefore, it suits him, I think. Much more than either heaven or hell ever have or will, at least.

But, in the end of season 1, all of that was about to be lost. And what got him to act in order to salvage it? Aziraphale threatening to never talk to him ever again.

Let me say this again. The world was ending. The thing he cared enough about to had fallen for was all about to be destroyed forever. But the worst thing to Crowley in that moment, the highest stake and the worst possible loss, was the loss of Aziraphale's companionship. Not even "we will all die or stop existing and therefore won't be able to see each other anymore" but "I will just refuse to talk to you for the rest of time". That was the threat. And it worked. It raised the stakes. Stakes that were already about as high as they come, and quite awfully personal.

Crowley care more about Aziraphale than he cares about anything else. And Aziraphale knows that, otherwise he wouldn't have trusted that the threat would work. But he did. And it did.

Crowley is also desperately lonely. Just inherently so, in his very existence. There is no one else like him, in the way he's so gray in a world so black and white. I literally have a whole other post planned for that rant though, so I'll spare you it for now. But yeah, I'd imagine he has felt like the loneliest being in existence for the fast majority of it. His loneliness comes across a LOT, but it's most apparent in those moments of desperation. Where he is risking losing that one connection he managed to make. Like a last ditch effort kiss, harsh and unpleasant. It hurts to have it taken away, on such a deep level. Just like there is no one like Crowley, there is no one like Aziraphale. At least not to Crowley, not by a mile.

Crowley's desperation to keep Aziraphale in his life is not only because of his love for him, but also because of how if it's not Aziraphale, it's no one. And just like that scene where Aziraphale eats food for the first time and reacts as if he's just realized he's been starving his entire life, Crowley now knows what it's like to have someone by your side. To be a team, a pair. And he clings to that like the famished cling to their first and last warm meal.

[desmaterializandose]

On living and loving.

I must do well and be kind, at least for thy who have done it for me; cherishing and bringing a smile to nature, for someday I laughed and felt loved when useless. Things could be better, but only by improving it in the sake of others; and the distance that I stretch my endearment and efforts, devotion that I gave to the garden, is equal to the meaning it gathers. Essentially, caring for those that are still to come is the ultimate state of realization. It isn’t because our eyes stare at this starless sky, that no eye shall ever be flooded by the mesmerizing waltz of galaxies. The proportion in which we complain about and loath existence is the exact same proportion by which it gets more and more dreadful. Although experience have a deep and long-lasting suffering possibility, it still one flavor of the substance from what we extract all the succulence and peace reachable; by itself, being is no more than the capacity of being, therefore it has no moral, only perspective and perception. Strong enough to love being hated, receiving hatred without passing it along. Picture turning forgiveness in armor and joy as weapon. Don’t blame the cosmos for its traumas, heal it. The improvement of life is achievable, and it starts by dealing with its aggression, handling its blows and all the feelings that arise from it without hurting it back. We are the world, and, to me, the world is you too. Seeking well-being, choose the lesser evil and the greatest good; this is not summarized on loving everything, neither trying to hurt nothing. The pleasure or pain that comes from a smell is dependent on the nose that it arrive. Don't try to make all your fruits sweet for every taste, but take care of the fruition by the sake of those that will rejoice in its flavor, and be respectful about the danger it delivers to the wrong appetites. I don't really know why I love, and maybe that is love. There are causes, otherwise we won't have the effect, but its unpretentious and self grateful state reach the peak of grace and sublime, because it only gives and manifest, and doesn't have the slightest need. Having good and evil in our own way of being, anger really show up together, like two faces of the same coin. Some species of it hurt the beloved, and also the other way around. It is a complex and emergent feeling, which the definition shouldn't be held by something simple as that fairy alike tale of flowers and springs. It has its shadows. On its depths, come from the happiness of having others in spite of the reality not being what we want it to be. Satisfaction that arises from being exactly what we are in the place we live and surrounded by what we have, even if it hurts, and sometimes we wander lost. Nexus in coexisting, while we feel it on ourselves, it's also an experience shared with between all stuff, and through which we share a little of our souls. This connection is what attach all inside the same event-horizon, and make the whole bigger than the sum of its parts. If we see fire, ignore or spread it and all we see turn into smoke. To receive, we give. Lacking and thirst is crucial for growth, and to evolve. What is already full can't be fulfilled. No matter what, we are living, breathing through all souls, in spite of all the ways that we could be not; my issues, human troubles or life on earth adversities; we are along with us, including animals, trees, bacteria and whatever more hide on the ground or beneath the stars. Gigantic universe, within where energy beat hearts and matter do poems. Nerves are a gift for those who seek enlightenment. We are between immeasurable possibilities. Infinity is more than enough to stack adventures and happy encounters. There's just too much to not smile any. Ain't exit to dying, so living is our own sacred ritual. We are not the main characters of the story, as there is none, all interact as supporting roles. Everything that can, will happen. The emptiness of the universe is room to nurture endless forms. The soul garden.

[alonelystargazer]

WIP Wednesday

I haven't done one of these in a while but I'm working on a few projects behind the scenes (albeit very slowly), so I want to share a little bit of what I have so far.

for JJK:

Chapter 2 of my ItaFushi fic: give you more (than words can say)

He follows Nobara around, browsing the various video and crane games set up in the five-story building, going up the escalator to the second floor where they find rows and rows of gachapon machines set up. Since he’s here, he may as well indulge and try his luck. “Look, there it is! Okay, I have ¥2850 left, so I’m gonna keep spending it until I get that damn figure. You,” Nobara points to Megumi, “are you gonna stand there again like an idiot like you did earlier?” Megumi decides to keep the peace and ignore being called an ‘idiot’ again. “I’ve got enough cash to buy out this whole machine, but I don’t really care what I get.” “Did you guys forget I’m here, too?” Yuuji whines with a frown like a sad wet kitten. “You didn’t even wanna come here in the first place. Just pick a machine or stand there quietly and let us play,” Nobara barks back. “You’re usually not this mean, but you’re extra cranky today, Kugisaki,” Yuuji sighs, half of his body’s strength seemingly disappearing as he slumps against a nearby wall.

I also have another idea for an itfs fic set in a no powers AU but I'll share more about it when I start writing the story. For now, I'm still in the outlining process because I plan for it to be another multi-chapter story. Basically, it's set around Christmas time, and Yuujij gets drunk and sad and lonely at a party and decides to write a post card to the address where he used to live, and surprise, a guy named Megumi now lives there and receives the card. Can you imagine what will happen next?

I thought of restructuring my post-canon itfs fic called Foreign Language into something else, but that depends on these final 3 chapters of JJK, so we'll see how it goes, but for now, I'm leaving it alone.

~

for Kagurabachi:

pre-Rakuzaichi Hakuri character study/HakuHiro fic called Safety Net

Tomorrow is a day of great importance for Chihiro. With Shiba-san’s help, he will be able to infiltrate that loathsome auction house where Hakuri’s father is keeping the merchandise and retrieve his precious sword. For years, rumors of the existence of a seventh enchanted blade drifted through the underground world without a shred of proof. That one elusive blade is spoken of by the patrons of the black market like a thing of legend, a literal object of desire, crafted by the fallen hero of Japan, Rokuhira Kunishige. And yet. It is no mystery. Enten is alive because Chihiro breathes his soul into it, senses it from a distance like a lost limb, cherishes it like a parent to a child. Chihiro keeps his father’s legacy close to his heart and away from the type of people who are undeserving of wielding its immense power, away from those who would hold no accountability for their actions if it were to fall in their hands. Therefore, it is the property of Rokuhira. His greatest treasure. But… it is lost, somewhere beyond his reach. All because Chihiro gave it away in exchange for Hakuri’s release.

I also started outlining my HakuHiro Pacific Rim AU fic but that one is going to take me months to write, so I probably won't share anything from it for a while.

[nescaveckwriter]

Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 16

Dean x Fem/Reader

Part 16🥰🐞

A/N: This is heartbreaking, and beautiful, fluffy, fluffy and more fluff😋

Side Note: Thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞

Warnings: anger, raised voices, sexual content 🙈

......

Opening your eyes, tilting your head upwards, lifting a little of his chest, admiring the brown, beard fading into a slight whitish gray, he looks so peaceful, he might be a giant, but his a gentle giant.

Snuggling closer to him, the cinnamon, woody with just a touch of orange blossom scent coming from him awakens her senses. Tracing little circular movements on his chest, thoughts wandering off too last night, a smile tugging at her lips, remembering ever little detail, the way he cherished her, made her feel loved, and wanted, desirable even, sent an electric sensation through her body.

Somehow this man with his sky blue, heart melting eyes, took a hold of your heart, there was a softness in his masculinity, a protective warmth in his strong arms and a soul that whispers, I know you don't need me, but I'll always be here.

His voice sounded husky, when he said morning darling, hearing him call her that, in his tone of voice, with that deep southern accent of his, was enough to send her over the edge.

Morning, her voice sounded almost musical. Their eyes met again, and so did their lips, she knew in that very moment, if she didn't start making her way home today, she'll probably never leave his warmth.

....

Studying the room one last time, remembering the pain, healing, laughter and then finally the love and intimacy these walls came to recognize, she took out her sketch pad, not the one Benny gave her, but a new one she bought, for capturing the moments the two of them shared, the first page was a pencil sketch of the three of them sitting at the dinner table, laughing about the cat who stole the drumstick, the last two pages was filled with rough sketches about the cherry blossom tree and then the two of them all tangled up underneath the covers.

Putting it on the bed, with a note attached "saying thank you Benny for looking after me and helping me to get better and trust again, in here you'll find all the memories we made, I will cherish you in my heart forever. Much love , your ladybug darling " signing the letter with a little heart, and a lipstick stain from her pouting lips.

...

Looking at the woman with her lively eyes and short brownish hair, she could see tears shimmering, trying to keep your own voice steady, I'm going to miss you Judy, thank you for everything, I literally would not have been here if it weren't for you.

Oh honey, take care of yourself she said while pulling you into a hug, I'll always be here if you need me okay! Now I have to go before I cuff you the house so that you never leave, a little laugh escaping her lips.

Walking closer to where Benny were standing you could see his forehead furrowed and he's brows drew together, his bright blue eyes became a greyish colour, revealing the sadness, your lips parched to say something, he leaned in, tasting your lips, one last time, still holding you close, a sad smile forming on his face,

I'll be back Benny, your voice sounded breathy, his raspy, voice washed over you saying no you won't darling now go and be free but remember you'll never be unloved by me, you are too well tangled in my soul and therefore I will always be there whenever you need me.

Her eyes swam with tears, she sighed while digging her head in his chest, I love you Benny.

"I love you too Darling he said while kissing the crown of her head.

With wide eyes she said I should stay.

No! Go be brave, be free darling. I'll be here, he purred.

Getting into your car sending one last glance over your shoulder before driving through the rusty gates. You wondered if you'll ever see him again.

You just drove, you were so tempted to turn back, your heart was torn, on the one side there's Dean who you'll always love and then the other side Benny, who captured your heart. Damnit I'm confused, whispering to yourself. Making a promise to no-one really, that you were just going to focus on making amends its the final step, and for the rest, you'll figure it out as you go.

..

She drove into her old hometown first stop Bobby she inhaled, this is going to be hard isn't it!

She knocked on the door, hearing the old man's rough voice coming through the door, - what the hell, get off my property, I will shoot, door screeched open.

Noticing the shotgun and him standing upright, made her laugh.

He sounded overjoyed, babygirl, tears shown in his deep blue eyes. He grabbed ahold of her, so happy to see you, you look better than ever.

Laughter overtook her, so glad to see you too Bobby.

Inviting her in, they talked, she apologized, he did the same, telling eachother everything.

She got up promising she'll come by and drink coffee, but she had a few people she needed to see.

Before heading out the door Bobby stopped you, his voice sounded heavy, babygirl, just a heads up, Dean took your leaving hard, he can tell you everything himself, but his better now, he went back to his old ways though, different woman every week.

One of his one night stands from back in the day showed up in town, and they started to see eachother again. not sure how that's going, but I just wanted to let you know.

Oh! Thanks Bobby, her words sounded more brittle than she intended. She gave Bobby one last hug, walking towards her car, thinking about how much she hurt him, her glossy eyes revealed the throbbing pain in her chest.

Inhaling some air into her lungs she drove towards the house she grew up in.

Recalling one of the quotes Benny used to say from JK Rowling "Anything's possible if you got enough nerve" , her mouth curving into a smile. That man and his quotes.

She pulled into the driveway shaking just a bit. She just stood there making sure she looked good, knocking on the door.

Seeing her mom open the door, the emotion welling up in her eyes, Hi mom, her lower lip trembling.

Honey your home, Caroline sobbed. Pulling her daughter into a heartfelt hug.

I'm so sorry about everything mom, I..I.. was just so broken, I'm so sorry for causing all this pain.

Looking into her daughter's eyes, seeing the light in them again, is the only apology she ever needed.

The two of them spend the rest of the day, catching up, crying, holding eachother.

...

When Bill came home, he acknowledged the joy gleaming from his wife, sweetie?

"Sweetheart look in the living room, she insisted.

He just stood there, hearing his daughter's sweet voice, hello daddy. His eyes glistening, babygirl he exclaimed!

She ran towards him, Hugging him, apologising and telling him everything.

Glancing at your parents, realising you had no idea how much you missed them, that night after dinner you lend your mom's phone to video call your brother.

The shocked look on Joe's face revealing he expected his mother, not you. Sis! He expressed. They talked till the early morning hours, mocking him a bit, about the grey in his now longer beard. They laughed and cried. After making plans to go and visit him in Chicago the two of you said your goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Exhaustion over took you and you drifted off.

...

When you went to make amends with Cas, he didn't judge you, he just listened to you, expressing his gratitude towards the two people who took care off you. You also learned that day , that Dean were out of town, on some case his working on, And Sam and Eileen went on a three month cruise so you could not get in contact with them.

...

You spent the next two months working on your new novel, creating new paintings and joining a yoga class, you and the yoga instructor, just clicked, she was an amazing soft kind hearted woman with her luscious dark hair and friendly eyes. You and Lisa became good friends very quickly.

....

Breathe in, through your nose and out through your mouth, that's it, she soothed to the class. Thank you all for being here, Namaste.

While rolling up your yoga mat, you see Lisa coming closer, hey there, her voice sung.

Aren't you chipper. You betcha ya, she giggled. Why would that be Lis? My boyfriend is coming back tonight or tomorrow.

Aww really, I would love to meet this mysterious man! You exclaimed.

Lisa laughed, oh you will, but first we are spending our weekend under the covers. I've missed him so much.

You let out a giggle, you should enjoy it, we'll meet up, after your weekend of pleasure.

...

Pulling your car in the garage, walking into your house, grabbing a previously prepped green juice out of the fridge, falling to the couch.

Jikes! Feeling a little woozy after the morning yoga, and staying up till 3 , writing, thinking maybe you'll take a short nap, you snuggled into the couch a bit deeper.

Your eyes flung open when you heard the familiar sound of the impala's engine purring down the street. He's back!

....

Seeing his phone receiving a message from Lisa while driving past her house made him winch. Of course it doesn't make him exactly a good man, being with Lisa and thinking about her, but hell that's the situation his in.

After getting home and taking a shower, throwing on some joggers, headed straight for the bedroom, to sleep, falling flat on his stomach, arms stretched out wide over the mattress letting out a sigh, finally some sleep.

The knocking of the door, made him flinch uttering, what the hell, go away, the knocking silenced, but then started back up again.

I swear, I'll shoot you, he growled, the wooden floor creaking underneath his bare feet. Turning the door knob, what! he commanded!

His brows knitted, his jaw line tightened, his face seemed cold and hard but his heart was rapidly beating. She stood there, in a white sundress, her hair much longer than before, her complexion as beautiful as ever, there was a sense of lightness radiating from her.

Her voice sounded like a symphony, Hello Dean.

Hello Dean, hello Dean that's what you have to say, his words sounded tight.

I.. I didn't come to fight, I came to make amends, to say I'm sorry, about everything.

He gritted his teeth, yeah if only it was so damn easy!

Her voice sounded soft, and low, listen Dean, I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you, for anything and I'm truly sorry for what I said, and how I just left, I truly hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Noticing her shaking, her eyes glancing over with the wetness of the tears she's trying to fight back, all he wanted to do is pull her close, make her feel his love, but for some reason his words was brutal, how the hell do you expect me to just forgive and forget.

I hate you, I hate what you did, I hate what you said, I hate the way you just left, like I didn't matter to you.

Her jaw dropped, her eyes wide, brittleness in her voice, this was a mistake, she turned around, fleeing to her car.

You, us, were a mistake, he growled. Taking in the sight of her leaving again, made him realise, he didn't hate her, he loved her.

Sprinting, cathing up with her, grabbing ahold of her body, hands on her hips, throwing her over his shoulder, he hissed, want to talk, sweetheart, lets talk...

Put me down Dean she demanded. Closing the door with the back of his leg, placing her down, her back now against the door, he stood there in front of her, his voice thick, I'm sorry for what I just said , searching her eyes, she didn't make a sound, running his hand down her arms, the friction it caused made his heart rate go faster, grabbing ahold of her hands, pinning it above her head, she whimpered, he crashed his lips against her tasting the sweetness he remembered, breathy he told her you have any idea how much I craved you, her lips parted like she wanted to say something, but he didn't want words, he want their bodies to speak for them, and their hearts to listen, the two of them was starved for each other, his hands lingered over her body, removing the sundress, she's digging her nails into his back, pulling him closer, wanting him more and more. Ravishing eachother, exploring one another, he remembered all her little weak spots, making the sweetest moans escapes her lips. He groaned knowing she wanted him as much as he did. Panting and out of breath they lay in eachother's other arms, knowing their home again...

[yakool-foolio]

I can’t get over that Vivia probably knows his world is fictional. (If his line about him not having enough screen time in chapter 3 was any indication) 😭

Vivia may not know with 100% certainty his world is fictional. He has a highly powerful Forte, but even with his ability to see in and out of the spiritual plane, he can't look past it. I wouldn't put it beyond him that he would have a possible theory about his reality, though. It's one of a handful of conclusions he can draw from his perception of the world. This 'audience' watching him could simply be some sort of god, or even multiple gods. He may not entirely realize that the 'gods' are just regular people, but again, it's one of several theories he can grasp.

Now that I think about it, if Vivia really did know for sure that his world is fictional, it makes his wish for death kinda meta actually??? Like, hear me out, we all love and enjoy our favorite characters, right? Even if they're dead and gone in their reality, like the Danganronpa franchise has done to many of its own characters, there will always be people that still cherish them no matter what little screentime or dead-end future they have. They are essentially immortal in our world, never truly dead because we can always rewatch and replay their lives. So what happens when a character that understands they're fictional, therefore immortal, wants to die? Vivia wants to be erased from all sense of memory, no video or photo or audio remaining. Lost media. He wants to be treated like how he perceives human beings do in our world, finite and eventually forgotten. However, much like Vivia learns over the course of his DLC and the main game, there will always be someone who loves him, so he will never be forgotten. And when the one who gave him a reason to live is an immortal being inside an immortal piece of media, that's all the more eternal love poured into him. He won't be dying any time soon.

[ultfan]

@belovedblossoms sent in this prompt: [ PUBLIC ]:  sender  and  receiver  have  sex  somewhere  public. + "I'll be good I promise" (w/ Chiaki)

                     the sound of his heart pounding in his chest is almost enough to drown out the sound of the nearby waves. a secluded area of the beach — one that no one ever really visited — but still outside; in the light of the near-setting sun. physical intimacy wasn't exactly abnormal for komaeda... but engaging in it with someone he admired was a different thing entirely. there's an anxiety that simmers underneath his excitement. something he buries as he swallows, giving nanami a faint nod.

                     her on top of a towel, him on top of her. how strange for him to be in a position like this when engaging with an ultimate. it feels wrong and right at the same time. almost like he could be important somehow, that he was worthy of something. he's always rejected that idea, but the way she looks up at him makes him want to believe in that. if only for a moment.

                     his hand delicately trails up her side — tentative. normally he didn't worry about stuff like this. but he so desperately wants to please her. he doesn't know what he'd do with himself if she didn't enjoy herself. even though he's sure he'll be a disappointment no matter what.

                     thinking like that isn't going to help, though.  ‶  i only hope i can be the same for you...  ″ a weak laugh, but it helps to push himself past his hesitance. his fingers glide against her skin, across her abdomen, then up towards her chest. he cups one of her breasts through her bikini — the two of them having yet to remove their swimsuits. as he actually starts to move he's able to grow a little more confident.

                     head lowers down so that he may plant a kiss against her collarbone, slowly trailing them up her neck and ending at her jawline. if she were some nobody he'd probably be more focused on his own pleasure... but this is her. and therefore her needs — her wants — are his top priority. he'll cherish every inch of her, placing his own arousal off to the side. his desires were irrelevant now that this was actually happening...

                     ‶  if there's something you'd want me to do... please don't hesitate to instruct me. i won't mind at all.  ″ his hand has made it's way up to one of the straps of her top — lightly pulling it off her shoulder, but not fully committing yet. there's a part of him that still feels like this isn't real. that she'll back out any second now. it was him, after all.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

Hey Eri! I don't know if you know this but I consider you the fandom Wayne Munson expert. Your head-canons are my canon at this point. I'm currently writing that missing story I was talking about for my OC series and I'm just wondering what your opinion is on Wayne's go to term of endearment for Eddie's partner? I had Sweetheart, then I changed it to Darling. Now I'm questioning that. Do you have any thoughts? Would it change depending on how long he's know them or if he likes them or not?

I know you're always super busy so feel free to leave this until you really do have time to answer or ignore it, that's fine too. 💖

Heeeeeey Kel!!!😍🫂

How're you??? I feel like it's been forever since we spoke😭💔

ME??? THE WAYNE MUNSON EXPERT???? NOOOOO OMG PLEASE THAT'S SUCH HIGH PRAISE HASDFGHJKL THE MAN IS AN ENIGMA!!!! (Said with love & admiration!!!)😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I could talk about him for hours hhhhhh I've been obsessing over this ask since you sent it in and I hope there's some good nuggets in here for you!!!💗

---

Hmmm, I see Wayne's nicknames as being always sweet, but they get progressively more and more affectionate as your relationship with Eddie deepens & therefore he knows you a lot longer, you know?

So, to start with, it's the classic darlin', slips off the tongue easy. Doesn't really think about what he's calling you. It's either that or your name, but that always makes Eddie wince because being full named in the Munson Household = Trouble™️, & not the fun kind.

Then, as weeks turn to months & you and Eddie are casual in your affections with each other now, it's sweetpea or sweetheart - sweetpea is casual usage, sweetheart is when he's being soft with you or you need some comforting. Once you & Eddie are serious with each other (as in been together a year or more; that's when Uncle Wayne fully accepts that you & his boy are forever, and he couldn't be happier about it), he won't use your name unless it really IS Trouble™️; you'll only ever be a sweetpea, a sweetheart, a sweetie if it's late and he's tired as all hell and can't be bothered to talk but still wants to greet you as he shuffles in through the door of the trailer at sparrow's fart o'clock.

His tone changes, too - darlin' is his normal tone of voice, then as he knows you more, it's a bit soft, like when he's talking about his boy, his Eddie, and then when you and Eddie are at your forever stage, Uncle Wayne is looking at you like he looks at those posters of Eddie; with familial fondness and a touch of longing, too, because Uncle Wayne can never ever ever get close enough to his loved ones. They're a rarity so he cherishes each one for all that they are.

Being loved by a Munson is a gift, but being loved by both of them???? That must be a heavenly experience... *wistful sigh*.

[tkblythofficial]

Tarot 🍊 here. Ok, well I'll just type what they shared with me through voice memos

Does R know about these allegations and did they affect their relationship?

She does know because she keeps tabs on everything regarding her, him and J. She says far more attention to things than people realize and she's worried about him and his career. She doesn't care about the rumors, doesn't let affect her or their relationship but she's worried about people believing them without evidence and well, sucks to write (for me, my friend is very nonchalant about it) but she feels that since J is being unfairly judged the same can happen to T and she doesn't want that.

2. How are their friendship progressing and how are her feelings for him?

Well, they seem to be more in touch with each other now and R is being more conscious about what she says and does, she seems overly conscious around him I'm general and doesn't want anything to cone between them like it has in the past. According to her they grew apart for a while and she kind of went nuts when that happened and fans noticed it.

She cares for him a lot but only thinks about it as a friendship that she cherishes a lot. She knows she fed into shipping but wasn't expecting it to last this long nor to be what it is right now and can't handle it right.

But they're talking a lot more now and that makes her happy/and it keeps her grounded.

3. Is T sleeping with other women while being in a relationship with BB?

Allegedly, he does talk to other women but doesn't follow through. But, however, on the other hand my friend says there's a lot of miscommunication and implied things that are causing huge rifts between him and BB and they won't last long. T does love her (in his own way) and she loves him, but he doesn't think that's enough and he's bored of their relationship 😐. There's no more spark or chemistry, the sex is boring and lackluster when they do have it and most of the time they don't because of time and him not being that into it.

He seeks out other women and talks to them but BB knows about it and doesn't feel like she can say anything because their relationship was never that serious even though they are together for a while - but they broke up and got back together at some point -.

4. I wasn't for my friend but I asked regardless, hope tarot red doesn't mind. But why is R in denial about her feelings?

My friend says that the best way she can explain it is that it's like she doesn't see them there at all, they are so hidden and muted/buried that she won't acknowledge they exist because if she does everything will go to shit

She doesn't think she can or has the right to love J and feel anything for someone else entirely. It doesn't compute to her and it doesn't make sense.

My friend says she loves J a lot and wants to be with him forever and can't think about T like that because there's too much at stake.

5. How much does BB know about T's behavior?

She knows everything and has never made a point of letting him know that she cares. She acts like she doesn't (the one time she did was with R because she believes her to be an actual threat).

In his head what they have isn't serious, again she's not saying he doesn't love her, he does, it's just he doesn't take most of his relationships serious at all and BB knows that and for a while was fine with it until R showed up.

The other girls she saw it as flirty behavior and slutty behavior, R she knows it's more and therefore it's more dangerous. It didn't matter to her so much with the others because he doesn't care about them, it matters more with her because he cares too much and she hasn't seen this side of him at all.

She has asked him once that he stopped replying to R and stopped seeing her as often behind people's backs (yes it has happened and it keeps happening), called R childish and immature for constantly needing him and he lashed out and said things he shouldn't have such as call BB insecure and say she doesn't get to decide how he behaves and with whom he hangs out with or is friends with. It was a huge fight and it's one of the reasons why they are drifting apart.

He has decided he won't allow anyone to decide what he should do especially when ir comes to R. He'll keep being her friend, he'll be in her life and he won't let anyone or anything change that even if they have to meet in hiding. So yes, BB doesn't like R and yes, they have argued about it because he makes himself more present in R's life than he does in BB's life.

More later 😉

Thank Tarot 🍊 for us!

1. Why is she keeping tabs on T anyway? Sure, their friends, but his life choices has nothing to do with her at all. And she’s always comparing T and J in terms of unfair treatment. There’s a reason people hate J. But I’m glad she’s not letting rumors affect their friendship with T.

2. Her public spiral in February was horrific. It was 2 weeks of torture. I hope to never see something like that again as her fan. It was very concerning and I know T triggered her going crazy. I’m glad they’re talking more.

3. And I oop! Not orange spilling the tea about their sex life 💀 BB needs to dump T omg. She’s young and beautiful.

4. R is young so time is on her side in terms of her feelings. So even if Zeglyth doesn’t have for another 5 years. Or even 10 years, she will still be young and they have time to figure it out. R wants to be with J forever? 😬 Girl…

5. Yeah, BB knows everything because WE know a lot and don’t have the full story lol. She’s on the same internet as us. I do think there’s a huge difference to him flirting with random women vs R.

BB asked him to stop seeing R? 😬 Sneaking out to see and talk to R? Omg. BB clocked R’s tea because R is childish and immature 💀 and what does R need T for? 👀 A huge argument happened? I need BB to stand up and tell T to lower his tone in her house lol. Sorry, it’s time for an eviction notice.

R and T sound very toxic ngl. Their prioritize their friendship over everything. It’s like an us vs them attitude.

[yeonban]

Valentine’s Day Application.

@scrtilegii asked: Valentine’s Day Application with Jing Yuan and Dan Heng 🦁🍁

Name: Jing Yuan.

Age: .... yes.

Do you like to cuddle?: Absolutely! Extra bonus points if the option of having a good nap is included. You didn't hear it from me, but Jing Yuan's body temperature is always high, so he can be your personal heater. Very comfy to sleep cuddled with him.

Can we make-out?: Sure thing. Be advised that Jing Yuan is about lazy, slow, and soft kisses rather than the sudden passion. However, once the passion is brought to life, I can't promise it won't be all bets off. 🤭

A night in or dinner out?: Out! Preferably if it also includes one of those long, long, long walks with street food to be enjoyed from a place where you can watch the busy streets and the people minding their evening business, the gentle lights, just the whole thing of sitting together somewhere and enjoying a simple meal. That's perfect for Jing Yuan. You don't have to go overly fancy with him, just make sure you took lots of pictures of all those interesting critters on the last planet you visited 😔🙏

Whip cream or chocolate syrup?: 😏... well now, do picture Jing Yuan giving one of those soft chuckles of his. He may wish to leave a little bit of an air of mystery here. Where would be the thrill of discovery if all were revealed?

Chocolates and roses?: I am not certain he would do the classic chocolates and roses. But, he will make sure to gift Dan Heng a pack of his favourite tea flavour. To have a little bit of something to mayhaps gently remind him he is always welcomed at the Seat of Divine Foresight. A silent, For as long as I am here, for as long as I breathe, should the universe overwhelm you, should you need me, you can always come to me.

What makes you a good Valentine?: It is true that the nature of his occupation does imply an unpredictable life, therefore, Jing Yuan can't promise he might not need to cut things short and whatnot. But, even for all that, every moment spent together is when his full attention is on Dan Heng, and he tries his best to memorize the little things. Besides, once someone earns a place in his heart, they are there forever. He hopes this shall prove to be sufficient to satisfy the criteria of a proper Valentine.

Would you cook for me?: Sadly, that is not a possibility.

Would you let me cook for you?: If possible, yes. It doesn't have to be anything too elaborate. If it happens, the effort and the thought are greatly, dearly cherished. Might even end up with a tiny moment of holding hands. Hands that have taken their time to care for him. It's a very dear thing. If not, no worries! He knows the best place to get the most delicious street food. He only would like for you to be able to stay a while longer. A moment more. That is more than enough.

Where would you take me on a date?: One of those busy places where it's easy to get lost in the crowd, and it's a lively atmosphere caressed by tender night lights, the smell of spices and food, souvenir shops and whatnot. A long walk through places where Jing Yuan goes when he wished to be alone. Or, if we're not feeling it, simply hang out with him at home. He's more than okay with that, too. There's tea there, possibility of cuddling, all that. Honestly, he prefers the latter rather than the former but he shall not rob Dan Heng the joy of a night out, if that is what he wants. But, knowing them, they'll probably end up in fluffy socks and comfy clothes and share in that tea.

Who��s paying?: Obviously, him. There is no room for discussion or debate here. Everything Dan Heng's heart desires is Jing Yuan's treat!

What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?: Is a place in Jing Yuan's heart okay? Unconditional support in everything? The willingness to break someone in half should they seek to unjustly harm him (I am not over that line of his in Dragons Return Home when he came to help DH and Bailu)? All that to go with the other treats, of course. He hopes this application finds you well.

Un zâmbet se întrezărește printre fisurile din fațada ta veșnic detașată, o seninătate arareori prezentă în compania altcuiva, și totuși atât de frecventă în prezența lui, a soarelui. ❛ De parcă mai e nevoie să întrebi. ❜ Surâsul îți trădează batjocora prietenească, însă e un detaliu nesemnificativ atunci când bărbatul din fața ta îți poate citi intențiile chiar și atunci când acestea îți rămân necunoscute până și ție. Cu o ușurință aproape surprinzătoare, îți întinzi mână înspre perechea ta sortită, iar degetele tale se împletesc lejer într-ale sale. ❛ Dar, având în vedere că m-ai întrebat... depinde. ❜ Încă o tachinare, un semn de familiaritate și de atașament, de drag și de-ndrăgire, iar conexiunea dintre voi devine mult mai fermă. ❛ Îți voi accepta invitația... dacă oferta ta va rămâne disponibilă și pentru anii următori. ❜

[txemptress]

𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 — 𝐎𝐍𝐄!

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ➢ Sidra x Jeremy!

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ➢ For @sidra-29 !! Hopefully this is good TT

Sidra and Jeremy were or had surprisingly been dating in secret for a year or, almost, two. Had it not been for Sidra's act of asking to be colleagues the two would have never found their happy ending.

Sidra had always been interested in the male known to be part of the most problematic family. Although that specific factor never did stop her from falling though. She found herself obsessing over her friend's victories and mourning plus comforting him in his defeats. Soon enough feelings developed for this particular relationship. She felt that she wanted a more.. intimate relationship. Though this meant sacrificing her carefree life for a more.. drastic one, she vowed that as long as she had him with her she would be alright.

Confessing to Jeremy at a party was no mere feat for her friend was always being blocked by women and whatnot. But, when she got him alone she found that she did not regret such a decision as to confess. When she uttered the words of confession, he replied with a subtle and smooth response of agreement. Simply stating that he'd fallen for her years before she had. In other words, he fell first but she fell harder.

The early days of their hidden relationship were days to enjoy and memories to cherish no matter what happened next. Jeremy stuck to her side almost always during these first few months, but later on in the halfway through of their loving, kind relationship they had taken quite a tumble.

Jeremy had been sent off to missions more often than ever, while Sidra's family invited to more and more social events in which no Jeremy was ever present for her to enjoy.

Thoughts lingered in her mind of them falling out but she fought that feeling away. This relationship will stay. They'll make sure of it, won't they?

After two months of no word from her beloved, she looked to his sister for more information on where her 'friend' had gone. Roxana explained the tasks and events that happened in the side of Jeremy's missions and assured her that he was alright. When she was about to leave, Roxana had smiled and given her a letter addressed to herself in Jeremy's handwriting.

That night, she laid on the bed. Staring at the decorative, and fancy, letter addressed to herself by none other than her lover. Why had he given it to Roxana? And not to her? Some things really made her question him at times.

Opening it slowly, she read the contents.

'Dear My Beloved Sidra,

I apologize and regret not having to say it to you sooner, but I will be going on a little trip for a while. I wish you good health and I hope you stay safe as will I. Not to worry I promise to come back in one piece for you, love. Please take care of yourself for me? I will think of you day and night until I return. I wish you the best and I love you dearly.

Sincerely, Jeremy.'

To say she was eccentric was an understatement. She was not herself for days due to this letter! Every part of her begged her to stay quiet of her love story but feelings so much as welled up.

On the day he came back, she did not expect it to be a special one.

Looking at the nightstand revealing a painting she had commissioned of her and Jeremy, she sighed heavily. Today was their anniversary. First year of being together. Yet.. He was not here to celebrate.

Fingers gripping her dress, she told herself no worries. When he comes back you two can pretend it's your anniversary day all over again.

Coming down the stairs, she was met with a surprise.

Her beloved.

He stood there, a smile plastered on his face as he kneeled down on one knee. "Sidra.. These months away from you has made me realize what a joy it is that I ever met you therefore I've come here today to ask a simple question. May I have you for the rest of my life?" A shaky breath escaped from her as she watched him reveal a ring in its box.

Running to him, she hugged him. "Yes, yes." She whispered again and again as Jeremy carried her up, kissing her gently on the lips.

Suddenly out came her family and his too; featuring only Roxana of course.

A memorable day for both her and him. A day worth celebrating for both an anniversary and an engagement.

[roublardise]

J'ai publié 12 604 fois en 2022

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#reputation by taylor swift obvsly / chromatica by lady gaga / en cas de tempête ce jardin sera fermé by coeur de pirate / mozart l'opéra roc

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

Dean Winchester - Killing Boys

“Since he died..” Dean starts hesitantly, “I’ve been having nightmares, as you heard. But also these.. these kinds of flashes and memories coming back. Stuff I had no idea about but stuff which fucked me up, you know?” The words are still getting stuck in his throat and he has to force them out to keep going. “It’s not just some daddy issues about growing up hunting and seeking revenge, and learning how to build a gun before you know how to count. There’s.. more. And Sam can’t get it. And it’s okay, I’m not gonna tell him - who knows if he’ll even believe me. But there’s a distance between us now. I want a distance to be there. Because I can’t keep up, I can’t breathe if he’s too close to me.” “So you’re hunting… him ?” “Yeh.” “To breathe?” “To be free.”

extract from my fic You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect

95 notes - publié le 24 janvier 2022

n°4

click for quality!

true form Anna/Ruby anyone? for @spnprideweek - day 4 - wlw/joy

TO THE GARDENS OF LOVE

she tells me: our deadbeat fathers - gods or lucifers when they thread their so-called destiny made us creatures of greed and feathers - not worth mortality

she learned poetry from trees and beating hearts a fruit from a soil which would nurture nothing in Heaven alas, she sighs, a few allegories never killed anyone let alone an angel

it's a tragedy alike those of the Greeks we only move and forget, never forgive and repeat one can not be alive in the infinite

I tell her: devoted hustlers - gods or reapers crushed me into black ashes one could only hold through a stolen skin, a slough that would never stick

those roots that you crave, they threw me away with their trash from a soul to empty bones to cut on a rack seeds for an Eden of apathy labeled some demon witch something - never someone

it's a romance, don't your Greeks have these? we may live and forget, I won't pack any regret I've only been alive with you to cherish

I plead: can't you see? we're creatures of lust and fire! free from faithless submission!

what could Thanatos give that we can't create in the space between the stars and the salt of the seas flowing into your grace I found humanity and we got enough love to spend eternity

95 notes - publié le 26 juin 2022

n°3

do you guys know about dean and castiel like they're for real best friends and they're in love-

114 notes - publié le 2 décembre 2022

n°2

why would anyone think cas is the only man dean is attracted to have you watched the show.

122 notes - publié le 5 mars 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

you don't understand the roadhouse episode is about dean starting to flirt with jo but it's not really succeeding not bc of being turned down but BC he's not feeling it, he can't keep faking. literally starts and can't go through. he's tired. and yeh it could be simple legit "he's not feeling it bc he's grieving" BUT THEN you have Ash.

it's an episode about dean not wanting, turning down, a woman. all while actually flirting with a man. his dad is dead and his posture is falling down. he's going for it he digs the haircut. they drink from the same bottle.

it's about dean rejecting jo and his comphet and embracing openly/in front of sam his homosexuality in this essay i will-

184 notes - publié le 14 janvier 2022

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[cherrypiehoneymoon]

Slowly, I'm letting you go. I'm moving forward in a new direction without you, dropping pieces of you behind me in hopes I won't have anything left by the time I reach my new destination.

I'm letting go of not being chosen, of your insecurities about who you are, I'm letting go of a version of me you tried to create.

I'm starting to let all of these things and more go because I forgive you. I forgive the situation we were dealt. It sucks, but I've learned that forgiveness doesn't mean we need to be involved in each other's lives. Forgiveness is accepting you for you, me for me, and for what took place. You made a decision to discard me for a life that isn't yours, for a life that isn't true. I forgive you for that, because it has nothing to do with me, but has everything to do with you.

I look ahead at my future and I can see myself standing with who I'm supposed to be with. I can't make out his face just yet, but I've memorized your body enough to know that yours isn't the one beside me when I cross this finish line, a trail of you behind me.

It's bittersweet because i used to think my love for you would outlast eternity. And a small bit of it still may remain in my heart, but as for the rest of it, I'm releasing it. Each day, I'll let go of a new part of you. Whether it be the beige hoodie you'd always wear or the way you'd sing in Arabic or how you'd slick back your hair after your showers. All of these things that I love, that I cherished, I let go of.

I write this with watercolor eyes for a few different reasons. Thinking of you in a positive light is simply an illusion. I'm not saying you're a terrible person, but it's simply not healthy for me to endure anymore. Drugs are addicting, but you are something more. I cry because the thought of no longer having pieces of you sprinkled throughout my life is foreign to me. I always told you, "I'll love you forever, not maybe". And I meant it. But how can I live by my words when you don't want my love anymore? How can I choose me if I choose you over myself? I cannot. Therefore, I must leave you behind, as you have left me.

I let go of your laugh, how it would build up from deep in your stomach. I let go of your walk and how it always looked like you were on a mission. I let go of how cute I thought your thumbs were. I let go of the conspiracy videos we would watch in bed together. I let go of your random slaps against my butt. I let go of the meals we'd cook together, and the grocery lists that would always be the same as the week before. I let go of the places we'd visit together and your shitty car and your 3-in-1 soap. I let go of the Spotify Playlist we'd listen to at night. I let go the messages you'd leave for me on the white board in the kitchen. I let go of how cute I thought your chicken scratch handwriting is and how your English was sometimes wrong. I let go of the Middle Eastern accent I fell in love with. I let go of those lips I could kiss forever. I let go of those hands I never got tired of holding. I let go of your legs and feet I'd massage when we'd watch TV. I let go of your heart you'd trusted me with. It was an absolute honor being able to have it for as long as I did. But just don't give it to anyone else.

Once I let enough of you go, I'll be so far away from you. You'll be behind me, regretting your choices. I know you already do. But your problems are no longer mine, so I let go of those, too.

[just6f]

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