#so im officially 27 now

[ganondoodle]

im 27 now

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[clippy]

so today (12/30/22) marks the 10 year anniversary of me making a gijinka of clippy and literally altering the course of my life... i've talked in-depth about the specifics multiple times but that doesn't matter right now... what matters is Clippy is still one of my favorite characters of all time and i love him so much

[hanzajesthanza]

growing up with sapkowski’s works timeline (teen to early adult)

13 — ciri age (BoE)

14 — ciri age (ToC)

15 — ciri age (LoTL), pavetta age (QoP)

17 — shani age

18 — essi daven age, nicolette age (ToF)

19 — angoulême age

23 — reynevan age (ToF)

24 — condwiramurs age

25 — cahir age, reynevan age (WoG)

27 — reynevan age (LP)

late 20s — milva age

[foggysilverfeathers]

Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??

0 notes

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again

🐟 gemstone Follow

I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

1,930 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 126 without a mending book

27 notes

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd

⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated

Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

...hELLO?

🌸 joel-beans Follow

lmao they deactivated what a loser

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes

🐟 gemstone Follow

@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??

2,441 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

I feel like I'm missing something...

🌸 joel-beans Follow

SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Joel!

🌸 joel-beans Follow

If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me

133 notes

🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow

anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/

🪓 big-salmon Follow

That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits

🪓 big-salmon Follow

says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.

🐟 gemstone Follow

To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)

Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)

Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)

The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)

Hope this helped! <3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!

🐟 gemstone Follow

*sales

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

SHUDDUP

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

:(

2,750 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 131 without a mending book

34 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 164 without a mending book

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

it's not the same

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions

2,316 notes

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

skill issue tbh

1,102 notes

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question

🌺 git-gorgeous Follow

sell them something

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

bribe diamonds

🐍 puppet-master Follow

kill them

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

okay will do!!!!

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

wait

2,989 notes

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

🐟 gemstone Follow

<3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOLE

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOME

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT

🐾 renthedog Follow

um.

2,655 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post

🌸 joel-beans Follow

almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me

1,113 notes

[bread--quest]

It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.

👁️ nvcr-official

Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!

👁️ nvcr-official

To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.

83 notes

🦉 dark-owl-records

CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER

hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic

keep reading

❌ number-one-moonhater Follow

Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this

🦉 dark-owl-records

L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

Isn't Cecil literally gay?

🦉 dark-owl-records

he's homophobic

🪼 jeebyfish Follow

he has a husband...

🦉 dark-owl-records

yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it

2,500 notes

🤫 cecils-private-blog

Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((

👁️ nvcr-official

Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url

🤫 cecils-private-blog

HOW DID YOU SEE THIS

4 notes

🏜️ sandeater Follow

tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk

🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow

op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn

☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow

fake story :/

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

No it's true I was there

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

TAMIKA FLYNN??

🏜️ sandeater Follow

what the fuck is happening on my post

8,345 notes

👁️ nvcr-official

can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is

27 notes

🐚 mariella-shella

Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!

🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow

omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!

🐚 mariella-shella

i miss me too

42 notes

😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?

🎙️ cecilpalmer

Huh??

🎙️ cecilpalmer

@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?

👁️ nvcr-official

uhhhh dont worry about it buddy

50 notes

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post

☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow

how's it going op

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

i miss my family

506 notes

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol

🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow

you were really hot

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

89 notes

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

i'm not calling it that sorry

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

What??? Why??

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just kind of sucks. as a name

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

?????????

170 notes

🐄

⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983

what does this mean....

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

another great post from huntokar herself

16,683 notes

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow

you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?

👁️ nvcr-official

NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP

806 notes

😁 the-happy-smiler Follow

Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!

👁️ nvcr-official

I

🦉 dark-owl-records

N

🎙️ cecilpalmer

T

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

E

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

R

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

L

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

O

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

P

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

E

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

R

21,983 notes

[ren-is-real]

Inanimate Insanity dash simulator (pre ep 16) (i will do more of this if this goes well probably)

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

does anyone ever get so tired they start seeing spiders lol

💼 su1tcas3 Follow

me when i lay down and hallucinate the horrors lmfao

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

what

💼 su1tcas3 Follow

Oh so this is not a safe place suddenly

2,369 notes

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

as an unbiased outsider im cheering for them both ^^ im so excited for the finale!!!!!!!!!!!

#idk what i'll do when this ends tbh #like damn. #we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!!

19 notes

💡 brightestlight Follow

any couple can be gay if they are bisexual and their genders are weird enough

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

why did you post this directly after talking to me and test tube

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

lightbulb why did y

11 notes

🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow

when you want to ask someone about something but the trek is IMPOSSIBLE and you will DIE (hes downstairs setting up a party im just scared)

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

i am not giving you the aux to play green day at the party

🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow

:(

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

ok. two songs

19 notes

🎀 rain-bowz Follow

when a fake girl tryna act like me but im the only one there is

⚙️ rowbotted Follow

REAL!!!!!

🎀 rain-bowz Follow

who are you.

📄pageperrr Follow

hey didnt you die. or something

23 notes

🌮absolutleynot-taco Follow

hey anyone know where pickle is haha. anyone know his room number or amything lol like it would justs be fun to know,,, hagaha,,,, yeagh

0 notes

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

imagine using a run down website that hasnt been relevant in YEARS. you all need to get off and go touch some grass or something jfc

🔪sharpest-tool-inthe-shed Follow

you're literally using it?

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

kill yourself

#you used to be cool man

19 notes

🎈coldairballoon Follow

i drew some vent art about old stuff.. im better now!! im just letting off some steam haha

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

this is so cringe

🎈coldairballoon Follow

you're cringe.

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

trophy just ran to the bathroom sobbing

27 notes

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

greetings tumbler! i an steve cobs, C.E.O of the meeple company. i am looking to get in contact with a mephone! specifically mephone 4. (model 4s) any help is greatly appreciated!

🖌️ brushedpaint Follow

go back to twitter vro 💀

817 notes

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

trying a healthier outlook on life!! i'll tell yall how it goes!!

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

8,270 notes

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

i miss egg :( i wonder where the other one the aliens mentioned went. i hope it found a parent that loves it as much as i loved egg. i mean i wasnt the best parent but uh you get what i mean

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

😜

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

???????

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

??????????what??????????

#why is steve cobs on tumblr get off

15 notes

🕯 innerflamed Follow

i need a boyfriend except he's not a boyfriend and is just some weird british guy i drag around with me everywhere

1,393 notes

🍀fourleafluck Follow

diversity win!! corrupt capitalist CEO of multimillion dollar company steve cobs is bisexual!

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

who informed you of this.

🍀fourleafluck Follow

I WAS??? JOKING??????

#GUYS??? #STEVE COBS GAY ICON??? #HOLY SHIT #IM SCREAMING ITS HIS OFFICIAL ACCOUNT ITS NOT A GIMMIC #meeple

23,105 notes

💡 brightestlight Follow

as a member of the lgbt we do not accept steve cobs

💡 brightestlight Follow

even when he changes the meeple logo to a rainbow during pride month we dont accept him

21 notes

☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow

☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow

just to clarify yang posted this not me -yin

57 notes

🥒 pickledposting Follow

steve cobs being bi and accidentally admitting to it on tumblr was not on my 2024 bingo card ???????

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

you'll be first.

🥒 pickledposting Follow

what

29 notes

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[thedoctorisgroovy]

Schooled

» Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

» Word count: 998

» Warnings: use of y/n, S3-5 Spencer, reader has just started at the BAU, mention of bullying, fluff, establishing relationship, awkward Spencer, use of the word sh**ty, mention of gunshot wound, gn reader, they/them pronouns, slightly non canon character behaviours

» A/N: so Im 27 and i've never written a fic before! I had a dream the other night that I was gonna turn into a one shot but realised I needed way more backstory to get to the dream scene so this is gonna be multiple chapters! Reader should be GN, if not I apologise! Also I have no clue about how law enforcement works so all references to the FBI, statistics etc are all made up. Any feedback is welcome but please try to be kind/constructive!

CHAPTER 1:

Your job with the BAU took you all over the country; mountain ranges, the desert, small towns, big cities, and if you were lucky, even the beach, which may sound slightly psychopathic considering you solve homicides and kidnappings for a living. You never thought it would take you back to your old high school however. The FBI had been called in to your home-town to help solve a string of disappearances/kidnappings that seemed to be connected to the school. It started off as one or two kids not showing up for class, but had now escalated into 6 official missing students. Local police were struggling to determine whether the unsub was a teacher or student, and in a population of 35,000, they called in the BAU to put together a more accurate profile of who they were looking for.

After moving away at the ripe age of 18 to get your bachelor’s degree at a university far away, you had no intention of ever returning to your shitty town. School wasn’t too hard, you got good grades and had a few solid friends but still fell victim to the small town bullying and mentality that you’ve spent the last few years getting over in therapy. Attending the academy straight after graduating helped to keep you busy and away too - much to your mother’s protests - but you knew your goal in life. Joining the FBI and then eventually the BAU was your best shot at never returning, and while your one track mind kept you focused, it unfortunately lead to this case.

On the plus side, it also lead you to the best group of friends - who were your family, lets face it - and boyfriend you could ask for. Dr Spencer Reid was the first member of the team that you were introduced to by Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner on your first day. As he’s your age and at the time, a little awkward, Hotch thought you’d be least intimidated joining the team by meeting him first.

Hotch told you that he was a genius and had a tendency to ramble trivia at people, which intrigued you. You’d never met a 26 year old genius before. As he lead you down the ramp and across the bullpen, you noted 2 women; a blonde girl with quirky clothes and a big grin and a brunette with big eyes and a bright red tank top. You felt their eyes follow you and SSA Hotchner across the room as he lead you to wonder boy’s desk. He had his head buried in a file; legs bunched together on his seat,  a pen tapping against his lips absentmindedly, his face obscured slightly by the hair falling across his cheeks and forehead.  You reached his desk and Hotch cleared his throat slightly. When he didn’t react, Hotch finally spoke up.

“Dr Reid, this is Special Agent Y/F/N, Y/L/N.” Hotch said in a firm but polite tone. Spencer flinched when Hotch spoke, his voice snapping him out of whatever work induced rabbit hole his brain was stuck in. In an instant, his legs were now back onto the floor, whipped his head up and pushed his glasses up onto his head. Spencer leaned over his desk and extended his hand, to shake yours. He gave you a big smile which you remember looked genuine and sweet at the time.

“Hi, I’m Dr Reid… Or Spencer, just call me Spencer, Dr sounds prententious. I mostly just say it to sound smart but I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” As he started rambling, you couldn’t help but stare. Now that his face wasn’t covered by his hair, you noticed how pretty he was. His light, soft brown eyes scanned your face while you accidentally stared into them. There was a kindness there that you felt drawn to and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at his strong jawline.

“Agent Y/L/N?” Spencer questioned softly, his smile dropping to a face of mild concern. You looked down and realised his hand was still extended waiting for you to shake it. Mortified that you’d been staring at this poor man’s face, you blushed and quickly stuck your hand out to reciprocate the greeting.

“Nice to meet you!” You tried to muster in your cheeriest polite voice, hiding your embarrassment as best you could. His smile grew again, cheeks turning ever so slightly salmon colored.

“Reid, I’m leaving Agent Y/L/N in your care. Can you please introduce them to the rest of the team before the debrief? JJ’s waiting for us in the briefing room but I’ve told her to wait 5 minutes for introductions.” With that, Hotch left and you stood semi awkwardly at Reid’s desk unsure whether to initiate conversation or wait for him to take the lead. Thankfully he did.

“As the idiom says ‘there’s no time like the present’” Spencer quipped, standing up and placing his case file onto the desk. He gestured to follow him as he lead you to the two women who you could tell were gossiping quite frankly.

Since then, you’d been inseparable. The whole team noticed how fond you were of each other; 6 months of choosing to pair up on missions, sleeping next to each other on the jet, filing paperwork until the early hours alone in the office. Eventually, Garcia - your loveable bubbly tech analyst best friend - forced you to go on an official date - much to your fake protestations - and that night, you decided to make it official. The “I love you’s” came after a particularly dangerous case where you got shot in the field. The good doctor refused to leave your side from the minute you were injured until you got into the hospital bed. After surgery to remove the bullet, he laid on your recovery bed with you and whispered that he loved you and you whispered back before you both drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2

taglist: @gghostwriter @inlovewithelliewilliams @the-quackson-brothers @lonelymuffin @lobstertalk @primrosesposts

[aestherin]

PRIVACY

so won't you come and be my lover?

— a kamisato ayato x f!reader smau — also celebrity au — status: completed

SUMMARY — a new year means new beginnings. with your resolution being 'to live a more peaceful life', the start of your year could not go any more wrong when you get involved in a dating scandal with renowned actor kamisato ayato. denying it is easy, but not when the other party gives the completely opposite response.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.

[name]'s : official | personal ayato's : official | personal

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐒.

00: happy new year 01: aether's fault 02: don't leave me on read 03: promise 04: the best part 05: i lied 06: friendship ended 07: respect [name] 08: kiss scene 09: you're my bf 10: ayato hate page | 10.5 (extra): ayadog 11: are you my heart? 12: clean it up 13: all mine 14: i won the lottery 15: gladly, ma'am 16: romance drama 17: sour and salty 18: your place or mine? 19: idea of luxury | 19.5 (extra): no shame 20: airing live

21: i come with free cuddles 22: you have a priv? 23: you >>> everybody else 24: girlfriend privileges 25: #HappyAyaYnDay 26: let's go out 27: i always had a feeling 28: punch your irrelevant selves 29: please go away 30: happiness is a butterfly 31: champagne problems 32: i will gladly break my heart for you 33: truly, madly, deeply 34: one mistake 35: sincerely, [name]'s lover

36: i beg of you 37: it's all yours | 37.5 (extra): i'm connecting the dots 38: daylight 39: kiss them away 40: i am revived 41: karma era 42: my mother did not raise a quitter | 42.5: only my beloved could 43: yes you are 44: i still get jealous 45: they aren't you 46: to the girl i've loved before | 46.5: hahaha 47: farewell, moots 48: you look better with me 49: now i wake up by your side 50: last laugh

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

idk what im doing

will contain swearing

mistakes such as grammatical and typographical errors may be committed (eng is not my first language pls bear with me :"D)

updates might be inconsistent

taglist is now closed :>

[fullsunstrawberry]

Synopsis: When all your friends are busy being adults, what do you do? Well Haechan thinks scrolling on reddit, looking for a job, makes him an adult…What happens when someone special forces him to start adulting.

pairing: Haechan x reader

genre: social media au, right out of college, single mother au (with twist), strangers to lovers, angst, fluff,

warning: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of family trauma, grammar issues

status: complete

ended: 7/10/23

──• ───◌┈┈───♡⃝───┈┈◌───•──

[intro: Y/n’s Friends]

[intro: Haechan’s Friends]

[part 1: Uncle Markie]

[part 2: We are not friends]

[part 3: Proof I have a lot of friends]

[part 4: maybe another day]

{part 5: the betrayal}

[part 6: don’t even tell him her name]

{part 7: ugh why is he so cute}

[part 8: i wish i was there rn]

[part 9: i technically don’t know you]

[part 10: wait facetime?] **suggestive 

[part 11: im screwed…]

[part 12: okay, i’m going to man up and do it😤]

[part 13: Perfect Night ]

[part 14: we need details]

[part 15: got all fancy for nothing :( ]

[part 16: you free to facetime?]

[part 17: we were so close but yet so far ]

[Part 18: well who cares anymore]

[Part 19: oh 😍]

[part 20: you’re like a real man]

[part 21: what yumi wants…yumi gets]

[part 22: the plan]

[part 23: What is going on???]

[part 24: IT WAS GONNA BE A DATE]

[part 25: it’s official]

[part 26: gotta protect my girls}

[part 27: my girls]

[part 28: we really need to talk]

[part 29: come out the bathroom]

[part 30: you got this ! ]

[part 31: but chenle’s rich]

[part 32: BATHROOM NOW]

[part 33: you are an adult]

[part 34: it’s settled… MOVIES]

[part 35: umm so i caught the bouquet…]

[part 36 :fuck fuck fuck fuck]

[part 37: read the room]

[part 38: imma do it]

[part 39: she said yes]

[part 40: finally got my fairytale ending]

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking things off with a long distance FWB before their visit? (nsfwish)

i (x,27) have been chatting on and off with an online friend for maybe five or six months with M (x,23). we met in an nsfw online community so our relationship was pretty flirty right from the jump and quickly became sexual, though because of the sizeable distance between us, it was always restricted to online. when things first started we talked a lot more frequently, sometimes in a flirty way and sometimes in just a casual friend way, but over time our relationship cooled. i started seeing someone irl (they know about M and vice versa ofc) but around that same time that we sorta made things official, M started talking about coming to visit, which made me wonder if they werent as okay with this new relationship as they said. we'd discussed very loosely the idea of seeing one another irl before, but suddenly those plans started becoming very real and i started to worry. i didnt and honestly dont know how i feel about it anymore. the idea of meeting them in person is still kinda exciting, as theyre a friend and i would like to get to hang out with them, but i wonder now if theyve noticed the dynamic between us has changed a lot since we first started talking, moreso since i have a partner i devote a greater share of my time to, and i worry theyre expecting something from me that im not sure i can give them anymore. i want to talk to them about it but im uncertain for a number of reasons. first, when we started making plans they immediately pitched the idea of a week long visit, which i thought was too long for a first irl meeting and negotiated them down a little. they seemed to understand but also seemed disappointed which sort of fanned the flames of my anxieties about our interests being out of sync. second, due to me living in a small apartment with a roommate, theyd probably be sharing a bed with me, something ive done with friends before and am generally fine with but again, several days, possible mismatched perceptions of our relationship, idk. if we do have this talk, i think i might have to kill our plans altogether.

i do still want to be friends if possible. we run in similar circles, including a shared discord server, and id hate to make things awkward in the group, but it seems to me like, things being how they are right now, this meet up may end in heartbreak, which would then also lead to them being stuck far from home with the person who shot them down :/ how can i give them the "lets just be friends" talk before our meet up (currently planned to be sometime in a few months, so theres at least some time) without being a total asshole?

[our-transmasculine-experience]

ill have officially been on T for 5 years come early winter 🎉 looking back at all my "first time"s coming out (age 12+13, got kicked out for 2, then 9 days. age 17+18, got thrown in jail for a month each. age 19+20, got ignored and correctively abused)

i never could have conceived being this happy and living how *I* want to, in a state where queers have ironclad protections encoded in law. sure, i went through some genuinely captial F fucked up shit, bein on my own (as an obvious fagdyke) on the streets in the Deep South since early 17. but im 27 now and fucking loving life🥹 and i actually like who i am now!! i have a comfortable little apartment, a nice job, with my 2 wonderful cats, and surrounded by friends who think my being trans/queer/2 spirit is the *least* interesting thing about me(most are queer themselves lol but ykwim). i dont totally recognize the person in the mirror yet (i have a full ass beard yall🤦🏽 still weird to need to shave every day) 💜but we all take different journeys, and at our pace

you hear that baby gays? it *does* get better. the part people rarely want to acknowledge though, is how much work it is to make it better for yourself. its SO worth it. period point blank. YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK. do every queer a favor, and start surviving in spite of them. start thriving and living and succeeding and growing and LOVING for yourself, and if thats too overwhelming. do it cuz fuck em🤘🏼and cuz i love you💕

also, wear condoms EVERY TIME with EVERY SEX ACT and EVERY CONFIGURATION of genitals 😭 there's a condom or equivalent for each variation of bits

holy shit. thank you for this. this is incredible.

[vinecradle]

ditto - do you want somebody, like i want somebody?

pairing :: kazuha x gn!reader

summary :: a cosplay event at the mall was announced, you were waiting for this moment!! taking lots of pictures with people, but then you saw someone who cosplayed your character's partner.. and his friend asked you both to take a picture together and it goes viral on social media- and now you're faced with the cosplayer's twitter handle..

genre :: college au (reader & kazuha are in their first year), modern au, social media au, strangers to friends to fake lovers to lovers, playfully flirty x cant handle it trope, and also she fell first he fell harder trope, mutual pining, sets place after the scaramouche smau ends

warnings :: little angst, loneliness, alcohol mentions, reader is pretty touch starved, honestly not that many problems most of it is fluffy 🫶🏻

status :: on hold until i finish my scaramouche smau!

official playlist :: is linked here!

notes :: published 23 feb 2023, taglist is open! either send an ask/comment preferably so i could keep track easier and also please specific if you'd like to be in this taglist only or my permanent taglist

profiles :: ice ice baby | still a dottore hate club

teaser :: is linked here !

ACT I - music is what feelings sound like.

01. a cosplay event!!

02. character.. hunting?

03. 200 playlists

04. cosplay found!

05. cosplay received.

06. a sudden project (✿)

07. why is there a random kid

08. it's nearly time!!

ACT II - i lost myself, but you found me.

09. the cosplay event (✿)

10. post-cosplay

11. wait- im trending?

12. reporters (✿)

13. his twitter

14. bro's mesmerizing

15. this mess

16. he's actually fun to talk to

ACT III - i told the stars about you.

17. just a friendly hangout..! (✿)

18. stayed on the low

19. a priv notification

20. loveliest couple award! (✿)

21. a different cosplay?

22. when will i experience

23. she fell first he fell harder?

ACT III - cause you're so lovely

24. you are out of this world

25. second friendly hangout.. yes! (✿)

26. anything but friendly

27. him, in my dreams

28. talk (✿)

29. let's keep it a secret

30. the new event (✿)

31. we're on the news!!

ACT IIII - hm? he said it, "ditto"

32. you make me feel safe (✿)

33. a playlist for you

34. guitarist x violinist

35. my home

-> bonus! my love, my love (✿)

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Crack Fic

Words: 986 😅

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(13:47) Sirius, I’m going to fucking murder you in your sleep. 😌

Padfoot

(13:48) you can try

(13:48) but

(13:48) i’ve been awake for hours

Prongs

(13:48) What did he do now?/

Moony

(13:48) He knows what he did.

(13:49) I said I shouldn’t go out last night.

Padfoot

(13:49) and yet out you went

Moony

(13:49) And yet, out I went. 😔

Prongs

(13:50) Pretty sure I just heard Moony sigh through the wall.

(13:50) So what did Pads do?

Padfoot

(13:55) O NO

(13:55) o nooooooooo 😬😬😬😬

Wormtail

(13:56) ???

Padfoot

(13:56) i may have given us all personalised ringtones on moonsss phone

Prongs

(13:57) 😂😂😂😂😂😂WHAT WS MNE?!??!!?

(13:57) Moony don’t bang on my wall to punish me for shoddy spelling when Sirius hasn’t used a capital letter since 2008.

(13:57) BUT WHAT WAS MINE

Padfoot

(13:58) do-re-mi from the sound of music

Prongs

(13:58) I am less excied about this now.

Padfoot

(13:59) naturally pete’s was rat-a-tat-tat by fall out boy and courtney love (absolute banger btw)

Prongs

(13:59) Nvm I’m back on board!

(13:59) What about yours?

Moony

(14:00) You Belong with Me.

Wormtail

(14:02) Ah. 🙃

Moony

(14:04) So Benjy suggested we ‘take a break’

Padfoot

(14:04) fuck im so sorry moons

(14:05) i can text him and tell him it was a joke

Moony

(14:06) Nah, it’s ok. I care a lot less than I thought I would tbh.

(14:10) James. Your headphones are unplugged.

Prongs

(14:10) SORRY SORRY FUCK ITS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

Padfoot

(14:10) wow moony’s having a crisis and you’re having a wank

(14:11) harsh

Moony

(14:12) I’m not having a crisis. I’m fine. That’s probably not a great comment on my relationship though?

(14:12) JAMES! HEADPHONES!

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Wormtail

(20:27) Lads, 😱😱 I think Benjy’s on a date

(20:28) Just showed up here with some guy

Padfoot

(20:28) moony sleeping 🤫 wtf we need details

Prongs

(20:29) Nvm, Sirius woke him when he yelled wtf

Moony

(20:40) Yeah, I bet that's David. He’s on Benjy’s course and he may have come up a few times.

(20:41) He didn’t even give it 8 hours. Wow. What a prick. I’m not surprised though, which probably also speaks volumes.

(20:41) Fuck. 😂

Padfoot

(20:41) you have four minutes to make yourself presentable moons then we’re coming in with tea and chocolate and a movie

(20:42) three minutes

Moony

(20:42) 👀👀👀 What’s happening next door?

Padfoot

(20:43) TWO MINUTES dont change the subject

(20:43) new neighbours

(20:43) all girls

(20:43) james is in love already 😂

Prongs

(20:43) I AN NOT

(20:44) BAD PADFOOT

Moony

(20:44) When did you meet them?

Padfoot

(20:44) one minute moony moon also we did not meet them but james spent a lot of time peeking out of his windoe this morning

(20:44) winDOE AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

(20:44) let the record state that i was assaulted with a wooden spoon 😔

Moony

(20:44) 😏😏😏

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(10:01) Just met the neighbours.

(10:01) They asked what James’ ‘deal’ is.

(10:01) You were not slick at all. 😂

(10:02) They invited us over for drinks tonight, though.

Prongs

(10:02) It’s not my fault they were so loud moving in that I had to see what the commotion was.

(10:02) There was Beyonce and shrieking. I was merely a CONCERNED citizen. 😌

Moony

(10:02) That’s your story and you’re sticking to it?

(10:03) Benjy and David are already Facebook official. Wow.

Prongs

(10:04) Moony. He is a massive twat. You have terrible taste in partners.

Moony

(10:05) That is not at all reassuring.

(10:06) I’m going to drink so much tonight. 🙃🙃🙃

Prongs

(10:07) oh yeeeeah? Anyone from next door ccatch your eye?

Padfoot

(10:07) moonys only got eyes for me thank you very much 😤😤

Moony

(10:08) Don’t get me wrong, they’re all pretty, but no.

(10:08) Plus, I CLEARLY only have eyes for Pads.

Prongs

(10:17) So… whats her nameeee? 🫠

Moony

(10:18) Who?

Prongs

(10:18) YOU KNOW WHO

Moony

(10:19) Drawing a real blank here.

Padfoot

(10:20) hes just giggling at his phone

Moony

(10:20) Traitor.

Padfoot

(10:20) MOONY EHY MuST YOU WOUND ME SO

Wormtail

(10:20) Did you two sleep together again?

Prongs

(10:21) I mean the red headed, fiery goddess who lives next door and laughs like a witch.

(10:22) Ooooooooooh? 👀👀

Moony

(10:22) Emphasis on the word SLEEP. Yes.

(10:23) No homo.

(10:23) I mean, partially homo, I guess. 😂

Padfoot

(10:23) FULL HOMO BIG HOMO ENERGY IN THIS ROOM ;)

(10:23) get over it wormy

Wormtail

(10:23) I didn;t mean it like that!!!! It’s fine if you want to do that!

(10:24) I only request that you do it in Remus’ room, bc Sirius is next to me and I don’t need to hear his cum noise.

Padfoot

(10:25) let the record state that moonbeam laughed so hard at ‘cum noise’ that he banged his head on the wall and dropped his phone down the side of his bed 💀💀💀

Prongs

(10:25) Is his hed made of lead? That was so loud fuck.

(10:26) That means your cum noise is gonna be loud too. Ew no. go fuk by Pete.

Moony

(10:27) We’re not fucking, wow.

(10:27) We’re all very aware that I’m not Sirius’ type.

Padfoot

(10:28) what is my type

(10:28) fite me

Prongs

(10:28) dumb, obscenely pretty, easy.

Moony

(10:29) One out of three. Damn. 🙃

(10:29) Also you misspelled *bite. 😌

Padfoot

(10:30) which one what moony what wait what 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯