#so its hard to apply the normal check list

[caterpillarinacave]

this is gonna be an interesting night

[1979semifinalist]

Hi Kelly! Love all your stuff! I was reading Absolute Wonder Woman and thinking back to your run of Black Widow (which is fantastic btw) and I was just wondering, what made you want to write comics? How did you get started?

I have wanted to write since I was little -- some of my earliest memories are around trying to not only write and draw but create physical objects that people could read. And though I loved Archie Comics when I was little (they were my first exposure to comics) -- I didn’t really know or understand there was a whole big world of comics -- they were just these cool books I used to beg my mom for at the grocery store check out line. But when I was a teenager my younger brothers Scott and Dave and I (though Dave was more casual with it) discovered comics and became huge obsessed fans. And it was then that I realized that comics were maybe this perfect merging of the things I loved -- words and pictures. Initially I definitely wanted to write and draw, but I eventually gave up the draw part (not good enough, not willing to devote the time to get better, impatient, blah blah blah). But I was very sure “making comics” was the thing I wanted to do -- comics and making them became my #1 hobby.

When it came time to go away to college I picked a truly baffling choice (don’t ask) and was thinking I’d probably study English and/or Art. English fell apart right away in my first semester (a bland uninspiring teacher who was equally uninspired with me). Art in the second semester was more promising (but I still knew I did not have what it takes to be excellent in that field). In my sophmore year I had been considering a transfer to an art school (SCAD was at the top of my list since they were the only college at that time that had an actual Sequential Art Degree). And some interesting things happened in my second year at college that really showed me that I was on the wrong path and that I should at least give SCAD a try, because maybe THAT would be the right path. So I left school at the end of my sophomore year, moved home, took a year off to work and earn some money for school and a car, and to take some additional classes at the community college that I knew would transfer to SCAD. And then applied and got a (very small) scholarship. And that was it. I loved it there. Whereas I had ached to be home with my family most of the time that I was at my first college, I loved this so much I didn’t even come home over the summer anymore. It was the first time I felt like I was finding my place in the world and maybe would do something interesting.

But I do things slow.

So after I graduated I took a normal day job and just tried to work on my stuff on the side. I did that for years and eventually... like 10 years later (oof).. it started to become something.

I don’t know if you’re trying to break in, or thinking about trying to do something really hard, but in case you are, here are my advice bits:

1. Everyone hates this advice, but it’s the advice everyone gives it because it’s true: To get noticed and get paid to make comics, you first have to make some comics. You have to show people you can do this, that you have something to say, and the only way to do that is to make some comics.

2. And this: Don’t give up until you’ve succeeded. Trite, but also true.

3. And this one is tough but: Finish your project. An 80% finished project is nothing. A 100% finished project is everything. Getting to the finish line is the hardest part, but if you can manage that you’ll be ahead of almost everyone. Which is encouraging... in its way.

If you are indeed trying to do something, whatever it is... good luck, and don’t give up!

[messinwitheddie]

What is tallest Red’s thoughts on being measured? Was Purple with him at the same time? What are the aftercare routine for such a stretch?

I wonder how they can breath with those really tight corsets. I think their organs are crying out for help.😅

How does one move up a rank from a starting point of being a service drone to becoming an advisor?

Since the control brains have new vessel bodies and taken full responsibility of the empire. Where does that leave the tallest? Will there no longer be more of them after Purple’s reign is over?

After Spork was eaten and the whole empire went into lock down, Red was a little surprised that he and Purple were summoned to Jugmentia for a second measuring that time around. Excitement quickly set in. They were locked into their personal quateres (A tiny apartment) on the Viral at the time, as the Massive was not officially launched and inhabitanted yet. There were forty or fifty other drones close to their height, but apparently not close enough.

On Jugmentia all finalist are measured separately. Red was THRILLED when he was informed he measured up to tallest stature. He was ignorant of any real challenges and responsibilities that comes along with being a tallest. He was just excited for the power, luxuries, fame and snacks. He and Purple made a pact to promote the other to a high rank and keep in touch, whichever of them was measured tallest.

He was very upset to find out he would have to fight Purple to the death for the title. The red brain initially refused Red's request to rule as one unit as his plea seemed to be based on pure emotional attachment, but luckily, Purple managed to present a "logical" argument, which was Red and Purple both lacked life experience and in the categories where Red's personal stats were subpar, Purple excelled and vice-versa. Therefore they could rule the empire better as a duo. The control brains reluctantly accepted the argument.

The recovery period and aftercare for the surgical limb/ spinal stretching/ lengthening process is shorter than any drone would care for. Their PAKs pump enough pain killers into their flesh vessels to make it bearable enough for them to live through the lengthening process and the first binding/ adorning of imperial robes. Recovery also involves a lot of deep tissue massages and stretching exercises.

Besides that, being tallest is a pretty sweet deal. Especially if you're a drone that likes power, lounging and attention.

It takes a few months of binding/ wardrobe changing sessions and conditioning before Red and Purple could move normally or feel natural in their formal robes. They looked damn good and tall on their public debut though.

It IS hard for a tallest to breathe in their robes. (head canon) Their spooches are compressed. But again, they always look sharp in public even if prolonged periods of wearing corsets/ hovor belts can cause all kinds of injuries and physical complications. Luckily for Irkens, they can intake small amounts of air through their eyes to compensate.

To become the tallest's personal advisor, you would just have to apply for the job online by sending the red brain your personal stats when he updates the public occupational listings. They're constantly updating, depending on the position, so you just have to keep checking. Many drones don't know this, but even if there are no available positions for a job you would like, you can still submit your stats/ request to be put on a waiting list for first review.

To become an imperial advisor requires jumping through the same hoops you would to earn any occupational promotion. If you have already been encoded as an "unskilled" service drone, your name may be shoved to the bottom of the potential hire list. BUT, it never hurts to apply. The empire has its flaws but at least it's pretty easy to find a job and the option to transfer out for a better one is there, provided you have no criminal record and you apply in time. Unemployment is almost nonexistent there.

If the red brain considers you a possible fit for the job you will be required to take a series of holo-visor tests at your nearest red control brain hub. There may be a number of hours of required VR training too. Sometimes the tallest won't bother, but for a position on the tallest's personal staff*, you may have to attend an in-person, face to face interview with the tallest before the red brain officially hires and encodes you. (*advisor, coordinator, imperial medic, imperial pak technician, personal frylord ect, ect...)

Don't be intimidated about applying if you're short. Tallests actually prefer to keep shorter drones on their personal staff. Surrounding themselves with short drones make them look taller by comparison during live streams.

As for the control brain's next major upgrade, it WILL eliminate the position of almighty tallest. Purple is dethroned/ disgraced and forced to go into hiding.

The Control Brains never intend to measure another tallest after him. They will move about freely and have full control over the empire AND all PAK wearing drones.

(unless a drone's PAK has been altered or modified to stay severed from the control brains telepathic stronghold.)

Their ultimate goal is and has been to recreate the Irken race as a pure hive-mind with unwavering obedience and no room for defective behavior. It was just a matter of expanding the control brains' own mental capacities/ capabilities enough to perpetually process SO much incoming data at once. It took time, but to them, worth the wait. ( Not ALL Irkens are on board with this new regime for obvious reasons.)

[deusvervemakesgames]

Project RBH Devlog 0011

This last week has been something of a busy one. I managed to get quite a bit of groundwork laid for future developments. I’ve been expanding the list of possible upgrades that you can receive, and that means I need to also have the bullet and damage functionality to make those upgrades actually do something. Strictly speaking, I only got two or three upgrades added to the list, but I’m quite pleased with what I had to do to make those work.

The first thing I implemented was the Critical Hit system! That’s right, you can now land crits against enemies! I’ll have to go back and revise this system to make it play nicer with the rest of the damage systems, which I don’t think will be hard since all I have to do is move the code from one script into another and make sure the variable references don’t try to make an invalid reference, but I’ve done that sort of thing before—including with the other thing I did last week—and it shouldn’t be hard at all.

I’m also very pleased with how specifically implemented the system. Like most creative types, game designers are magpies; we steal anything shiny enough to catch our interest. And there’s one Critical Hit system that always comes to mind for me before any other: the Yellow, Orange, and Red Crits from Warframe.

If you don’t know what Warframe is, it’s free, go play it. What’s important here is that in Warframe, it is possible to upgrade a weapon so that its chance of landing a Critical Hit is more than 100%. There’s no official name for this, but damage numbers in Warframe are color-coded, hence why I referred to these as Orange and Red Crits last paragraph. The basic way the system works is that you can Crit multiple times with one attack, with each Crit reapplying the Critical Hit Damage Multiplier. For example, if your weapon has a 150% Critical Hit Chance and a 2x Critical Damage Multiplier, you are guaranteed to do twice as much as your base damage, with a further 50% chance to do four times as much damage instead.

I refer to this as an Overcrit, since Warframe players always refer to this by the color of the damage number—Yellow for a normal crit, Orange for two Crits, Red for three.

And it turns out the Overcrit system is actually super easy to implement! You take a For loop that randomizes an integer between 0 and 100, and if it’s lower than the Critical Chance, apply the Damage Multiplier, subtract 100 from the Critical Chance, and repeat the loop until it fails. I haven’t capped this number yet, meaning that if you could somehow get 1,000% Crit Chance or something you’d have some frankly absurd damage multipliers applied, but that’s half the fun of crazy builds in Roguelikes/lites! If it becomes a problem I can easily fix it later.

(I also took a quick break to fix the upgrade system crashing the game due to an invalid reference when upgrading the player’s Bullet Movement Speed. Like I said before I’ve done this fix a lot; it’s pretty easy. In this case, I took the chance to improve the versatility of the code, as well.)

But when people think of dedicated builds in games like this, one of the ways I generally see it broken down is a Critical Hit Build versus a Status Effect Build, and you’d better believe that I implemented some status effects! Or, one status effect, but the system is designed to be easily expandable, like pretty much everything else in the game. Future-proofing your code is extremely important to avoid coding conflicts later down the line. The further you are in production, the harder adding new things becomes.

Anyway, I Added a simple Burning status effect. I don’t have Overstatuses the way I have Overcrits as a way to further make them play differently from each other, so the Status Check only runs once per Status Effect. Having a dedicated script for handling all my damage handling makes it extremely simple to add new code to it.

There was an issue where I forgot how arrays worked for something like two hours which resulted in my conditional statements failing to find the status effect I was looking for in the array because the arrays were nesting, but once I figures out the problem it wasn’t that hard to fix, albeit somewhat convoluted. Combining arrays like that without duplicating any statuses means I need another For loop to check each entry in the array storing the Bullet’s statuses against the target’s active statuses, and adding any that aren’t there. I also only have a single Status Chance variable, meaning that all status effects have the same chance of applying in a single shot—which doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s all or nothing, but that it’s currently impossible to have a build where you have a better chance of any one status over another. That might be worth changing, but that’s something only playtesting can prove.

For the sake of simple implementation, I created a script that runs every frame to apply every status so that the entire Status Effect Code within each enemy is a single line. Much like the array comparison from before, this is handled with a simple For loop, checking each item in the Status Effect Array and then executing the corresponding script. While this makes it very easy to implement, it made it somewhat tricky for the status effects to actually wear off. See, if I ever set the duration within the script, then it would reset the timer back to full every frame of the game, which isn’t exactly ideal. In the end I had to initialize a specific variable for that status effect, which I set equal to another variable: the player’s Status Duration. This means I can also have upgrades that make status effects last longer, but I’ll also need every enemy to have a timer variable for each status effect. I’ll probably move that to its own script to save me some time, and so that I can update those variables whenever the player gets a Status Duration upgrade.

It also took me some fiddling to get the Damage Over Time of the enemy burning just right. I don’t want a basic enemy to burn to death after a single bullet with no other upgrades, but I also don’t want to damage to be so little that it’s unnoticeable. But after a few different tests of frequency and damage, I got something that I’m happy with.

This is also useful for me for future Status Effects. For example, I want a Bleed Status unique to Critical Hits (once you have the associated upgrade, of course) that’s distinct from Burning or Poison or whatever other Damage Over Time I end up doing. These experiments to get Burning just right will be invaluable for that later.

Though I do need to also adjust some other things so that the Status Effects have other, additional effects, like increasing how much damage an enemy does or takes, for example. That shouldn’t be too difficult, I don’t think, so long as I make sure not to double-up on those effects and accidentally adjust a parameter in a way I wasn’t expecting.

And I got a new keyboard, too, since my last one was having trouble reading my inputs, especially on certain keys.

All in all I think it was a successful week.

Until next Devlog!

-DeusVerve

Special thanks to my Tier 3 Patrons, Haelerin and Christos Kempf!

Support me on Patreon

[malka-lisitsa]

psychology + mental health deep dive !

tagged by: The most important person in my life.... me ♡

general mental health related trigger warnings apply.  feel free to include more or exclude those facts / test results that take too much time or don’t apply, you can check out this list for more personality-related quizzes to include!

QUICK FACTS ,

diagnoses: (unofficial like this bitch would ever go to a therapist, what goes on in her head is none of her business) C-PTSD, Borderline personality disorder. triggers: Literally everything? Not even kidding its hit or miss at all times because shes constantly in fight or flight mode and can sometimes see something as a threat one moment and not the next. skills:  She has ZERO healthy coping skills. She knows HOW to ground in a panic attack, but she often forgets to in the moment. She has zero emotional regulation so she lashes out a lot too. negative coping skills:  Drinking, lashing out in aggression words/actions, petty little revenge missions (or that time she became the devil) attachment style:   fearful-avoidant / disorganised (shes a mess) love language:  Katherine doesn't really have your standard love languages. If she likes you she wants to play with you, silly little games. I suppose that could be "quality time" and I suppose you could simmer her greatest show of love, putting her advantage and safety at risk as "Acts of service" ? myers briggs / mbti: entp (but she can be very introverted too, as long as shes not BORED she has no issues being alone for extended periods of time, and sometimes needs to be.)

HISTORY EXPLORATION ,

are their diagnoses formal ( via a doctor, therapist, etc. ) or informal ( self diagnosis, a hunch, unrealized, etc. ) Informal, she does not care shes just trying to live and be loved

have they ever been treated / medicated?  Oh she self medicates all the time <33333333

have they ever been hospitalized or treated on an inpatient basis?  Does Damon locking her in a tomb count?

how old were they when they first started experiencing / realizing symptoms?  Like most cases of BPD early teens.

do they have a family history of mental illness?   Well her father is a raging and abusive alcoholic man so probably.

how was mental health handled / discussed in the family / community? in the 1400's as a woman??? LMFAO SHE GOT STRAIGHT EXILED FOR HAVING A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK.

what are their thoughts on mental health / their diagnosis?  Katherine is an advocate for mental health when it comes to pretty much everyone but herself. She had no problem helping Stefan with his PTSD, validated it and taught him grounding methods- which means shes highly aware and has at least researched some of her issues, but she considers herself too broken to be fixable. So she mostly buries her issues and pretends they arent there until she cant anymore. Bottle bottle bottle- breakdown.

in what ways has their diagnosis shaped their life or experiences?   ... you want me to just link her whole bio bc... No but her BPD makes it extremely hard for her to communicate the way she desperately wants to. It makes it hard for her to trust people, even when she wants to, and it makes her almost unpredictable in terms of reaction to rejection or criticism. Her paranoia is sky high. Shes just not having a good time and all she wants is Stefan.

SYMPTOMS: note that all of the below are, on their own, normative and typical aspects of human functioning. they become “symptoms” when they last longer than “normal” or when they pose a significant impact on someone’s life / functioning.

BOLD  all that are present,  ITALICIZE  those that are resolved or in the history.

depression.    anxiety.    panic attacks.    dissociation.    derealization.    depersonalization.    suicidal ideation.    self harm.    homicidal ideation.    psychosis.    auditory hallucinations.    visual hallucinations.    delusions.    mania.   hypomania.    racing thoughts.    hyperactivity.    attention difficulty.    flashbacks.    nightmares.    hyperarousal.    hypoarousal.    hypersexuality.    hyposexuality.    psychopathy.   risky behavior.    catatonia.    somatic / bodily concerns.    mutism.    phobia.    agoraphobia.    hoarding.    obsessions.    compulsions.    body dysmorphia.    hair picking.    skin picking.     amnesia.    illness anxiety / hypochondria.    sensory loss.    speech difficulty.    comprehension difficulty.    communication difficulty.    tics.    defiant behavior.    irritable mood.    vindictiveness.     aggression.    pyromania.    kleptomania.    paranoia.    attention seeking.    narcissism.    avoidance.    dependency.    pica.    rumination.    food restriction.    food binging.    purging.    soiling the bed.    insomnia.    fatigue.    sexual dysfunction.    delirium.    developmental delays.

explanations / elaborations on any of the above symptoms:

I have several HC's that deep Dive Katherine's mental state, two of them are linked in the above info <3

[gurukulcareergroupchd]

Everything you need to know about NDA

Every year, between 4 and 5 million people sign up to take the NDA test. In India, this test is very important. After you finish your 12th grade work, you might want to focus on getting ready for the NDA test. Then it's a good idea to sign up for a class at a NDA Coaching in Chandigarh. 

This brings us to the unique thing that the NDA training centers in Chandigarh have to offer. 

The NDA Coaching classes in Chandigarh have become more important in the academic world. Even though it's not necessary, coaching schools have made choices a lot better. 

But you need to pay attention to a lot of things, like the plan for getting ready. This means you need to think about what you need to figure out the best way to prepare. In addition, it will make it easier and faster to narrow down the list of Institutes. 

Before you sign up for any facility, try to make a list of the things you want your coaching class to cover and the way you want to learn. There are certain reasons why one organization is better than others. Normal NDA Coaching institute in Chandigarh have things like useful study tools, tests often, sessions to clear up questions, sessions to motivate students, and so on. 

Things you should think about when choosing an NDA coaching facility:

Image in public: 

Look for training centers that have a past of turning out people who wanted to join the NDA and making it. They have shown over and over again that they are the best. 

Chances of Success: 

Look at how many people have passed the NDA test to judge the coaching center. Chandigarh Career Group is proud of its long history of success, which shows how hard it works to provide excellent NDA training. 

Things like buildings and roads: 

You should look at the coaching center's physical area and amenities to make sure you will be well-prepared for your tests. 

What the faculty has to offer: 

Check the teachers' qualifications to make sure they have the right training and experience to help the students do well. 

Things that affect sexual health and marriage 

The most recent ruling from the Supreme Court raises the age limit for taking the entrance exam for the National Defense Academy (NDA) from 2022 to 2023. This lets single women who are applying who were not previously eligible do so. 

For the length of the program and the selection process, all candidates, regardless of gender, must not be married. 

We won't choose someone who gets married before they finish their course. 

If the candidate gets married while they are in training, they will be kicked out and have to pay for the whole program. 

Why the UPSC NDA is a good choice for your future 

The chance to do your part for the country 

If you really care about the Indian people and feel like you owe them something, joining the military through the NDA is a great idea. You should be proud of the kind thing you did for others. 

Chances to travel and take time off 

There are options in NDA to both work in a relaxed setting and travel to faraway places. It won't cost you or your family anything to get there because the NDA has sites all over the world. You can do whatever you want when you're not working. You can take paid time off once a year, but not on weekends or official holidays. Finally, if there are any spaces, you might be able to get a free flight on a military hop. 

Making sure your family and future are safe 

You can even take these perks with you when you leave if you stay until you retire. This is good for your health and the health of your close family members, like your spouse, kids, and even your elderly parents. After you leave the military, you may be able to get temporary health care benefits. There are a lot of things that are free, like medical care, schooling, loans, and plane tickets. If you sign the NDA, you can live like this. 

You should have learned everything you need to know about the NDA Exam, NDA schooling in Chandigarh and the NDA registration form on this page. Additionally, we tried to talk about the benefits of UPSC NDA as a possible job path. This means that kids could do well on the NDA Exam if they study well. 

[stateswscarlet]

Hi Scarlet! I saw your twt bio said no dms so I thought I would share my successes here that I got from your threads and content!

Bit of a background: I hovered over from the a+p girlies after affirming for 9-10 months for all my desires, using everything they taught and even putting full faith into thoughts and science manifesting. I would affirm almost nonstop (during work, school, even as I was eating/talking to others) for the entire time and I eventually got super frustrated! Not a single manifestation came in or even the slightest movement, maybe a butterfly and a car here and there (looking back at it its because I accepted seeing them internally and didn’t contradict that state, it wasn’t even the affirming). In March-ish I found your account on my timeline and previously I would ignore any states related information because I thought states were the same as dominant thoughts, but something about your thread at the time caught my attention which led me down a rabbit hole (positively!) of consuming your threads. I realized a lot of it actually made sense and explained why I didn’t see success so far.

Anyways so after a few weeks of learning about states I decided to stop overconsuming and stick to your account and edward art ONLY for all my manifestation needs. It was a little hard breaking free from the affirming mindset but I decided to focus on embodying how it would feel if I no longer had to worry about my thoughts and allowed that to wash over me. I used your “embody being the solution” thread SO SO much and I realized I was able to quickly solve all my internal issues using that because anytime I felt stuck, I just had to assume the feeling of being unstuck and what the ideal situation would be! I also fell in love with fulfilling my imagination and although I did care about experiencing it in the 3D, it was more like me not even thinking of it reflecting because its a LAW. I remember you saying you don’t even have to think about stuff reflecting because it does so anyways and my only role is to naturally give it to myself. So here is a list of some of my *bigger* manifestations that came in within a month-ish of me APPLYING states of being after I learned about it:

SP and I got back together after 8 months no contact and 11 months separation

My top choice graduate school which rejected me months ago actually reaching out to me offering me a spot saying the rejection was a “system error”

Free coachella tickets all expense paid in a luxury hotel that sponsored not only me but my boyfriend and 3 friends

My favorite makeup brand randomly sending me a HUGE package of makeup that I never ordered or asked for (I wanted more makeup from this brand)

My dad receiving a random check to clear his entire credit card debt of around a decade

A better job for my boyfriend that pays him double of his last one and has flexible hours that he didn’t need to apply for or interview and hes been loving it!

Free first class plane tickets to Bali this summer! I had already booked normal ones months before but last week I got an email saying my party had randomly been selected for a free upgrade. This happened like a day or so after I for fun assumed the state of someone who has a live of luxury.

I have other smaller successes but these are some of my main ones!I really want to thank you scarlet you have honestly changed my life and I can’t believe it truly was that easy all along! Thank you for your amazing threads, please continue dropping more (I literally have your notifs on haha)

AWW YAYYYYYAYAYS IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!! You’re absolutely amazing🫶🏼

I dont even use this platform but just thought I would share this ❤️

[giuliadesu]

you were 19 when you met miya atsumu for the first time.

ŌSAKA, 21:00

“i mean, yeah, it’s a nice way to get some extra credit.”

it was one of the first colder nights of the year, autumn making its presence known.

the loud group was the last one to occupy the seats at onigiri miya. the shop had been closed for about twenty minutes or so, giving the people inside some time to chat freely.

a very intrigued miya osamu was cleaning the wooden counter with the white rag he specifically assigned to that task; a visiting suna was busying himself on his phone — probably cleaning his camera roll of the hundred of photos of his first onigiri dinner in months. hinata and bokuto were intently listening to the blond setter, who was currently recounting his latest university adventures.

“so? you gonna spill the beans or gonna keep everythin’ to yourself?”

osamu was starting to get impatient, and even suna perked up from his phone.

“jeez, okay. so, you know how i applied to that virtual exchange program, right? well, i’ve got the results back, and i’ve been matched with this girl, she’s a bit younger than me, but boy am i curious!”

to say atsumu was ecstatic was and understatement; unable to contain the grin slowly spreading to his face, he tried to at least minimise it by passing his tongue on the snakebites adorning the sides of his lower lip.

despite people often pegging him as a womaniser, someone who had a lot of hookups and one-night stands, and as someone who would judge a woman only by her physical appearance, he simply shrugged it off. he was just so focused on his career (both the athletic and the academic one), that he didn’t have much time left to enjoy the normal life of a 22 years old guy. yet, he considered himself lucky: he managed to work the job of his life and share it with his friends, and was living close to his twin — that sounded a lot like privilege to him.

YOUR LOCATION

it was a cold day in october during your first year of university. majoring in japanese language and culture was your biggest dream, and you managed to enrol in a college that was far enough from your family and acquaintances.

as part of a partnership located in ōsaka, your professor insisted that every student participated in a sort of virtual exchange program: each coursemate of yours would be paired with someone from the japanese college, providing a great opportunity to practise the language with a native speaker. you weren’t particularly thrilled by the idea — there were enough things to do as it was —, yet the prospect of having some extra points for your main class made it rather tempting.

after a week or so the application process was complete, and the results came in: you had been paired with a student older than you by two or three years who was in his last year of a bachelor’s degree in athletic training. you noticed he was following a peculiar path: considering he was a professional athlete, his course had been arranged to take a longer amount of time compared to someone focusing on academics full-time. the file you received provided some contact info, among which were listed his preferred one — in this case, his phone number.

YOUR LOCATION, 15:00

it was the day of your first call with miya atsumu. you talked a bit over message in the days leading up to this moment, mostly because of the different time zones and the busy lives you both had — it was rather hard to find a moment that would match your free time.

sighing, you smiled to yourself. after some thought, you decided this was going to be a nice and welcome change from your usual routine, and you really hoped you’d be able to hit it off and enjoy the experience. you agreed that atsumu would be the one to call, as he wasn’t sure he could be home in time. with one last check at your reflection in the facetime camera, you turned off the option to blur the background. you hadn’t moved so far away from your home and acquaintances just to start hiding parts of you again; this time you wanted to do things right: being yourself and showing your true self was just the first step.

the ringtone from your macbook brought you back to the present. you took a deep breath, switching your brain to japanese and accepting the incoming call. a small smile made its way on your features.

“good evening, miya-san!”

ŌSAKA, 23:00

it was time. atsumu had just finished showering after a gruelling practice, and was now ready to start his first virtual meeting with you. he made himself comfortable on the bed, ipad propped up on its stand, set on your contact page. the setter spared a glance at the clock: he was right on time. “perfect.”, he thought to himself. dashing his pr smile, the snakebites moving along with his lips, atsumu was ready to meet you.

“heya! nice to finally meet you!”

masterlist | next

honorable mentions (please let me know if you want to be removed!)

@1812p4n | @arquitecturadelanada | @cup-of-fluff | @iitoshi | @kyopmi | @ohtokki

taglist @opalloveworld | @voidshoutsback

© giuliadesu. please do not copy, translate, use in videos or reupload on other platforms and sites. it is strictly forbidden to feed any part of my content to ai.

[gender-archival]

I know none of us really post to this blog a whole lot anymore (sorry for that, life just got in the way), but I’ve got something to say and this has the biggest platform of all my MOGAI/LIOM related accounts, so here I am. I should also say that I don’t exactly know how to word this post. Normally, when any of us have gotten involved in these situations in the past, there’s already been some amount of criticism of said thing before hand, so it was easy to just say “hey, [x]/[x] is wrong/what have you” and leave it at that. This time, though, I’ve never seen anyone else talk about this, and if they have, it’s very clearly not a known thing at the moment. I haven’t even seen any posts from the coiner of this suffix about it. So it feels (to me, at least) that I should do a little more and I’m not sure what that ‘more’ is/should be. 

I should also say, I don’t intend this to be a callout of any particular user/users or to cause a witch hunt or anything like that. This is just an information post to maybe avoid another -coric situation, where it it’s become so consistently misused that it almost feels like there won’t ever be a point where it completely stops. Please don’t be mean to anyone who does the thing I’m about to talk about or anything like that. If anyone would like to kindly bring their attention to the issue, go for it, but don’t be anything less than 100% civil.

With all that out of the way, the post:

There’s veen a lot of misuse of the suffix -ica, recently, and I figured someone should clear that up. And since this account has more than 1000 followers and I’ve noticed it, I figured it should be me. 

-ica is a suffix coined on November 19, 2020, by now inactive user Genderstalgia. It, along with -ical and -musica, were coined as suffixes specifically for Musicagenders. That phrase was actually used verbatim in the coining post if anyone would like to fact check me on it. It’s not a general-use, uncoined suffix, like -ic or -ian to name a few, or something like -cenic that was coing to be used for pretty much anything. It, along with its counterparts, have a very explicit, relatively narrow, meaning.

Despite that, there’s been a surge of misuse of it over the past few months to a year (the archive on here and on the site are a good bit behind, so I’m not completely up to date). Thankfully, it hasn’t gotten as vad as -coric or even -comfic, but it’s definitely an issue. To the extent that we’ve created a list for them on Genderpedia and one that has more than double digit pages, here. That page isn’t linked so anyone can go harass the coiners with terms listed there or to drive traffic to the site, it’s just to demonstrate that there is a good amount of terms that are a part of this issue. In addition to that, there are multiple terms that we haven’t archived for whatever reason (mostly just time and fluctuating dis/interest).

I don’t know what specifically I can encourage anyone do outside of a few things. Anyone who has or thinks they might have terms that misuse -ica, or any other suffix for that matter, just go check! And, if you find them, just find a different suffix! There are coined things like -cenic and, in some specific cases, -aesic, -corian, -comfin, etc. (although those last ones do have specific definitions that might not fit, so check those too) and non-coined, general things, like -ic and -ian, or even a currently-unused look-alike like -eca, -yca, or something else like that!

Also, I’d generally recommend checking to see if any kind of suffix/term ending you’ve about to use has been coined and if it would apply. I know that’s crazy hard, because of how many there are and have been coined, and scattered information, but there are some sources that can help. We have an incomplete list of affixes, here, there’s the suffixes carrd, here, and there’s the account Coiningaffixes, here.

I know, looking at the coric/comfic/etc situations, there’s no way this one post will fix everything. It’s just unrealistic to thing that. But hopefully the reach this account has and, hopefully, general encouragement of checking for coinings and being willing to change term names will do something to start to make a dent. In all of these situations!

Thank you for reading, especially this long of a post from a practically inactive account, and have a good night! - Admin Grey

[gold-rhine]

Love language post again but with the four Sumeru boys! :D

Alhaitham

Alhaitham is that one annoying "Well actually..." guy. His favorite book is Hegel's dialectics, which he's read in the original and wrote his akademiya thesis on, but if u just read that thesis you'd think he hates it bc he tears into mercilessly. but in fact thats how he shows respect, bc as per dialectics, its only possible to grow when confronted with the antithesis to your thesis, and producing synthesis based on that. his mirror theory is based on learning about yourself by being confronted by the opposite.

his love language is when you excitedly tell him of your plans instead of being excited with you to melticiously nitpick them for hours with -_- face, bc he thinks that the best way to help you is to show you all of the possible flaws and problems beforehand so you can fix them and succeed. he's also very particular on when to help you or not. like he won't help if he thinks you need to learn to overcome smth, bc again, he thinks you can only grow by challenging yourself, BUT he also doesn't believe that every challenge is worthwhile. so like he might refuse to help with something relatively easy, but another time he will just drop shitton of money out of nowhere without you asking or find the loophole in bureaucracy and so on, bc these are not the kind of challenges that will help your personal improvement, they are logistical hindrances.

as to how to best show you care for him, out of Sumeru Autism Trio, Alhaitham is like the only one who is not big on infodumping. he strikes me as a type who will just silently stew on his thoughts, spew out a book that shakes up that specific scientific field and immediately move on to another subject. but his character stories say he likes reading physical books instead of getting info directly from akasha bc he likes questioning and distilling views and biases of the author, so i think finding something with really new and surprising perspective that he's never considered before is one of the best things, be it a very smart academic study or bonkers crazy conspiracy theory doesn't matter, what matters is the uniqueness of the mirror that can be applied to the world.

another thing is that Alhaitham will just never conventionally show emotions. like he knows how to mask and play social roles if he needs to, but he doesn't enjoy it and it's useless to expect it from him. Alhaitham is actually one of genshin's least traumatized autistics, his grandma never forced him to pretend to be "normal". you just have to be okay that even he's most comfortable and happy, he still has the same resting bitch face on, and mb learn to tell the difference when it shifts into slightly more tense tired bitch face, when he just neds to go sit alone in a dark corner with headphones on for awhile and not take this personally. otherwise, Alhaitham is pretty transparent about he likes and doesn't like if he trusts you, like he *will* tell you straight up what he wants or if he's unhappy. his communication style is not for everyone, esp its hard for ppl who enjoy seeing partner express emotions visibly, but there's a different kind of intimacy in intense and raw-cut way if it clicks for you.

Tighnari

Tighnari is a mom friend and a harangued middle regional manager at the same time. he has like twenty different check lists active on the back of his mind at all times, half of these check lists are actually responsibility of other ppl, but Tighnari knows ppl are incompetent clowns and he has to double check that everything goes ok.

Tighnari's love language is that he will have an extensive check list for you to make sure you're taken care of. your love language for Tighnari is to make sure you take care of yourself, so he doesn't have to mom you in addition to moming all of the incomptetents in his life. he needs someone who can be trusted to be responsible about their own well-being, so Tighnari can relax as with an equal. if you cover all your fundamentals, then his check list can easy up to sweet little things which he likes fussing about.

and like Tighnari does like to fuss and organize things, just when the stakes are not high and its not a forced responsibility. you can ask him organize a trip or to choose the optimal restaurant and so on, and he will happily fuss and research and figure out logistics and enjoy it very much, despite grumbling all the time, just make sure to tell him he's done great job afterwards.

also, of course, he likes infodumping about his mushrooms and plants and complaining about idiot tourists and his idiot bosses, and also will happily listen to what you have on your mind in return.

Tighnari is overall a grumbly sweetheart who found his place in the world and is happy with it, and just wants someone to share this place with as with an equal, so he can relax and let go of the stress and exercise his fussing tendencies on nice enjoyable activities

Cyno

Cyno might at first glance seem to be from the same no visible emotions type as Alhaitham, but it's not really the case. Due to Akademiya's racism against desert people, Cyno had to learn to wear this resting stoic bitch face all the time, to don't answer provocations and don't show emotions to not be labeled as uncivilized, and he was scrutinized twice as hard as other students. He's the most traumatized out of Sumeru Autism Trio and it's now hard for him to show emotions and vulnerability after years of being trained not to.

he says himself that he knows his jokes are bad and he says them not bc he thinks they are funny, but bc he wants to break tension or break someone's impression of him as intimidating and unapproachable, bc like, Cyno is not great at socializing. that's his way of being like "Hey i'm not scary actually". so him clowning around ppl is his way of showing trust and invitation to engage, its basically like when large predators playfully roll on the ground and expose belly, its the vulnerability of being silly with someone. he'll be happy if you indulge him, and listen or participate with his silly hobbies like card games or roleplaying, a support of him trying to get out of the restricting role he was schooled into in akademiya.

Cyno is incredibly supportive himself, he might not be great at social cues or expressing himself, but he will show up for you 200% every time. he has actually a nice amount of emotional intelligence, even if he's clumsy in using it. he invented the card game excuse to look after collei bc she wants to feel independent and so he's pretending he is there on silly selfish pretense, bc thats more comfortable for her. Deep down, he's very sweet, loyal and steadfast, even if awkward and hyperfixated on his duty.

[my-child-is]

My Child is Neurotypical

So I made a few...dozen...posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.

(I’ll be updating these as I make more)

Classroom

Your child was a pleasure to have in class

Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something

Your child has awful handwriting

Your child is tapping their foot through class

Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes

Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done

Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task

Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure

Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first

Sensory - Sound

Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)

Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender

Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from

Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room

Sensory - Touch

Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics

Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)

Your child hates tags on clothing

Your child overheats in thick socks

Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)

Your child thinks water has a strange texture

Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end

Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin

Sensory - Light

Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day

Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’

Memory

Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner

Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it

Your child can’t keep a grasp on time

Your child is confused about how it’s already evening

Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome

Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say

Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it

Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot

Stimulation

Your child can’t focus without background music

Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations

Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects

Your child struggles thinking while seated

Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something

Your child finds crowds overwhelming

Your child finds existing at night less exhausting

Sleep

Your child is reading this in the middle of the night

All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule

Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult

Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep

Dyspraxia

Your child is extremely klutzy

Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos

Empathy

Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table

Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations

Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain

Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met

Emotions

Your child has lots of mood swings

Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)

Sharing

Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met

Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired

Communication

Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat

Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them

Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath

Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted

Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans

Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough

Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people

Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk

Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk

Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions

Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second

Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps

Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding

Your child needs subtitles to hear anything

Your child has times they struggle to make words

Consistency (Anxiety)

Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home

Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day

Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows

Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second

Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question

Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight

Your child finds split second decision making stressful

Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine

Masking

Your child can pick up accents easily

Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people

Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day

Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people

Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’

Your child has described people as ‘just too much’

Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them

Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet

Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room

Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to

Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender

Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people

Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between

Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends

Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough

Your child is on their third hobby this week

Your child spaces out randomly during the day

Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)

Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)

Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’

Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman

Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold

[alpacaparkaseok]

Make a Move

➣ Pairing/genre: roommate!Hobi x reader

➣ Premise: You thought ‘Hope’ was a girl, but looking at the hot dude currently claiming to be your roommate, you might be wrong.

➣ warnings/tags: pure fluff, reader gets a lil sick for a minute

➣ word count: 4.6k

➣ a/n: this was a commission by @hobi-gif for Army for AAPI! Thank you so much for commissioning this, I hope you enjoy it! You guys, check out ways to get involved in this awesome cause by clicking the link!

--

You look down at the application, and back up at the person standing in front of you. Down, then up.

Twice more, just to wrap your mind around the dumbest mistake you’ve ever made.

“Umm…Hope?”

The man fidgeting nervously before you manages a bright smile. “Yep. That’s me!”

Again, you stare down at the application. “I…you’re the one moving in?”

Hoisting the heavy-looking box higher in his arms, the man – Hope if he’s to be believed, offers a strained nod. “Yeah, it’s sort of a nickname…Hoseok. I’m Hoseok.” He looks around, poking his head through the doorway to your small apartment. “Mind if I set this down? It’s kinda heavy…”

You step aside in a daze, watching as Hoseok sweeps inside and sets the box down with a thud on the counter. A moment later another head is peeking inside before carrying in another box.

“Hey, I’m assuming you’re one of the roommates?” The newcomer asks, sweeping some of his ashen-blond hair off his forehead and extending a hand out to you. You take it with some trepidation.

“I am. And you’re Hoseok’s friend?”

“Namjoon. Just stopping in with a few of his things. Oh,” Namjoon waits until Hoseok walks back outside before continuing, speaking to you in a hushed tone. “I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for letting him move in. Ever since our landlord found out we had seven people instead of six, it’s been hard trying to find a place but Hoseok was adamant he be the one to move out. Did want to separate the others-”

“Wait, woah,” you hold up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “Seven? Seven people living in one tiny apartment?”

Namjoon tilts his head to one side, brows furrowed. “He didn’t tell you? That’s why he moved out; someone had to. Our apartment has a six person limit, so once our landlord found out Hoseok volunteered to be the one to move out.”

It appears that Hoseok hasn’t told you a lot of things.

“I…no, he didn’t mention that.”

Namjoon moves on, unphased. “Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for taking him on. It’s nearly impossible to find a place this time of year, and we weren’t sure if you would be chill with having a male roommate, but it really means the world. This way he can stay close to us-”

“Close?”

“Yeah, we live just a few blocks away. He didn’t say that?”

At that moment Hoseok walks through the door, still wearing that sheepish smile that he directs at you.

“No. He must have forgotten to mention that, too.”

--

           Once Namjoon has left and Hoseok gets into organizing all of his things, you set up camp on the couch. Book in hand, you can’t help but assess your new roommate.

           A part of you wants to get rid of him, but another part of you is interested to see what might unfold from this strange situation. You’ve never had a male roommate before, and if Namjoon is any representative for what this man’s friends look like…

           You suppose it’s not too much of a pain to allow Jung Hoseok to stick around for a little while.

           Hoseok hums to himself, occasionally making little sound effects as he puts a bowl away or opens a cupboard. Every once in a while he’ll ask you a question, like, “Is this spot free to use?” or “Are you allergic to anything?”

           You’re nearly heading to bed when Hoseok knocks softly on your door. Your rooms are on opposite ends of the apartment, something you find yourself being extremely grateful for tonight. The knowledge that a stranger is chilling in your apartment is enough to have you feeling a little worried.

           It’s simple. Sure, Hoseok seems nice enough. Friendly even. But he’s too attractive to be normal.

           “What’s up?” You ask, opening your bedroom door to see Hoseok with his arms full of shampoo and other shower items.

           Despite the large bottle of Pantene blocking his chest, it’s easy to tell that he doesn’t have a shirt on beneath his robe.

           Indeed, the sight before you is enough to have you clutching the doorframe until your knuckles are white in an effort to not gape.

           Wearing nothing but basketball shorts and fluffy white robe, Hoseok shuffles from one foot to the other. “Oh, I was just wondering if you had any preference about where I put my things in the bathroom. You know, if the left side is specifically yours or something like that.”

           “Huh?” You shake your head, forcing yourself to only look at his eyes. That turns out to be even worse, in some weird twisted way. “Oh, yeah. Well, I tend to put most of my stuff on the left side of the vanity. But you can put your stuff wherever. I’m not worried about that.”

           Hoseok nods, taking a step back. He bids you a quiet goodnight before retreating back down the hallway.

           A few seconds pass as you remain in your doorway, thinking hard.

           No, you’re not worried about sharing a drawer in the bathroom or putting the A/C on a lower setting, as he asked you about earlier.

           You’re just worried about the fact that you’ve never found a pair of basketball shorts more attractive than just now.

           Basketball shorts paired with nothing but a robe?

           “This is gonna be great,” you mumble to yourself, closing your door and leaning against it. Only when you hear the sound of the shower going do you allow yourself to relax. “I’m gonna die.”

--

2 weeks in

           “I’m headed to the store, you need anything?”

           You pause, assessing the contents of the fridge. “Um…eggs?”

           It’s not very often the two of you are in the apartment at the same time, your schedule being polar opposites. However, it’s always relatively friendly. Still a little awkward, but always cordial.

           Hoseok – or Hobi, as he’s repeatedly invited you to call him – scans his little list. “Already on the list. Anything else?”

           “You already put eggs on the list? Like, for me?” The two of you by no means share groceries.

           Hobi shrugs. “Yeah. I figured you were nearly out since you eat them like every morning.”

           “Hey, not every morning-”

           “Every weekday morning.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Tell me I’m wrong. I’ll wait.”

           You groan. “Yah, just go. I’ll text you if I need anything.” Turning back to the fridge, you utter out, “Annoying little-”

           “What was that?”

           “Nothing!”

           You wait until you hear the door close to let out a sigh. “Huh.” You didn’t even realize that he would notice those kinds of things. It’s a strange feeling, having someone notice even the most mundane parts of your routine.

           You…like it?

           Opening up a few of the cupboards, you realize that you’re nearly out of bread. You grab your phone, pulling up Hobi’s contact and calling him. He picks up after a couple of rings.

           “Hey, did you remember something else?”

           “Yeah, would you mind picking up some bread, too?”

           “Oh, good one. Um…” you can hear him moving around, and you swear you hear the click of a pen before he speaks up again. “Wheat, right?”

           Again, that strange feeling stirs in your chest. “Right.”

--

2 months in

           “I’ve never met anyone as obsessed with skincare as you.”

           Hobi chuckles darkly, beginning to apply his night mask to the other side of his face. “I doubt you’ve ever met anyone with such oily skin before, either.”

           You lean up against the doorframe, resting your head against the side of the door. Hobi continues applying the crème, looking utterly focused on the task. His forehead scrunches up in little lines as he looks up, rubbing underneath his eyes.

           If you’re being completely honest, it’s adorable.

           To put the icing on the cake, he begins humming to himself and leaning in closer to the mirror, making you chew on the inside of your cheek. It’s horrible enough that he has to be wildly endearing, but does he really have to be so cute?

           It’s exhausting.

           “It smells good,” you sigh out, eyes drifting shut. Hobi’s good looks isn’t the only thing that’s been exhausting to you lately. School is trying its best to wreck you and you hate to admit that it’s doing a great job of it.

           “You want some?”

           Eyes fluttering open at his question, you furrow your brows. Hobi is looking at you in the mirror, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He squeezes out a bit of the night mask onto his finger, turning to you.

           “You already washed your face, right?”

           “Mm.”

           “Good,” he nods more to himself than to you. “Close your eyes.”

           Giving him a distrustful look, you realize that you’re too tired to bother bickering with him at the moment. Instead, you close your eyes and hold your breath.

           A moment later the cool feeling of Hobi’s fingers dabbing the cream on the tip of your nose. He repeats the action all over your face, his other hand coming to cup your chin as his thumb absentmindedly traces your jaw.

           You suddenly feel extremely off balance, swaying on your feet. Hands shooting out to steady yourself, you instinctively cling to the front of Hobi’s sweatshirt. He chuckles lowly, making you tighten your grip.

           “Don’t fall over,” he mumbles, beginning to rub the night mask into your skin.

           You don’t say anything, settling for an annoyed huff. After a moment, Hobi takes up humming the same tune he was before. The two of you settle into a comfortable daze, your shoulders relaxing as the seconds tick by.

           “You know,” Hobi muses as he switches to your right cheek. “We’re pretty good roommates. Don’t you think?”

           “Mm. I’m still angry you put ‘Hope’ on your application, though. That was a dirty move.”

           Hobi’s laughter has you opening your eyes just to catch the expression of happiness he’s sure to be wearing. Sure enough, his head is thrown back and his heart-shaped smile in on display, the sight tugging at the corners of your lips.

           Catching your eye, Hobi smirks. “How can I ever make it up to you?”

           You purse your lips, melting a little at the concentrated pout that forms as Hobi resumes applying the night mask. He’s moved up to your forehead now, making your eyes drift shut again.

           “I vote you make me French Toast one of these weekends.”

           “Oh, and that’ll solve it?”

           “No, but it’s a start.”

           He chuckles quietly, pausing and then tapping lightly against your cheek. “All done.”

           Opening your eyes, you see the slightly confused look in Hobi’s eyes as he squints down at you. “What?”

           He blinks. “What?”

           You nod at him, “You look confused or something.”

           “Oh.”

           When he doesn’t answer after a long moment, you step back into the hallway. “Alright…I’m heading to bed. Thanks, Hobi.”

           His brows are furrowed as he turns back to the mirror, the confusion only growing. “Night.”

--

3 months in

You’ve quickly come to learn that there are pros and cons to having Hoseok as your roommate.

           One very strong pro is the fact that he’s a clean freak. You swear you haven’t had to worry about vacuuming for the past three months, he always beats you to it.

           “What are you doing?”

           He pauses mid-fold, eyes wide as he looks up at you. “…folding.”

           “My laundry?”

           He glances down at the shirt in his hands as though just realizing that these are your clothes. “I…yeah. Yeah, I am. It’s just, you left your basket out here by the couch so I figured I might as well fold it and put it away if you’re gonna leave it out here.”

           The passive aggressive tone in his voice rolls off your shoulders, knowing that he didn’t intend it that way. It’s obvious to tell that something is on his mind as he continues to you’re your shirt and place it atop a neat pile beside him.

You find yourself sitting cross-legged across from him and silently joining in on the impromptu folding party. Once you finish, Hobi clears his throat and avoids eye contact with you.

           Perhaps it has to do with the fact that he accidentally grabbed the same pair of lacy black underwear at the same time as you, which ensued in an awkward match of tug-of-war that you quickly won once he realized what he was holding.

           “So, the guys are doing a thing tonight.”

           You blink, pulling the folded laundry toward you and getting up. “…ok.”

           Hobi’s face lights up in a grin, and he jumps to his feet. “Really? You’ll come?”

           Perhaps it’s the utter joy you see in his eyes or the way he’s currently shaking your shoulders and causing the socks on the top of your pile to tumble to the ground, but you burst out laughing.

           “Hoseok!” You shout through your laughter. “You didn’t even invite me!”

           He immediately stops shaking you after that, scrambling for some form of a response. Swiping one of the pairs of socks that slipped to the ground, he kneels down on one knee and looks up at you with a giddy grin.

           “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to visit my friends tonight?” With no shortage of sound effects, he offers up the socks as though proposing to you with a priceless diamond ring.

           “You’re an idiot.”

           Hoseok’s smile only grows. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

--

           Hobi’s light knock on your door goes unnoticed as you slumber on, completely dead to the world. After you had put your laundry away, you felt a wave of exhaustion overtake you.

           He knocks again, and this time you rouse just enough to grunt out something incoherent. He slowly opens the door, poking his head inside.

           “You still gonna come with me, sleepyhead?”

           His chipper voice makes you wince, your head pounding. “Mm, jus gimme…” you close your eyes again as the dull light filtering in through your blinds is enough to send you spinning. “…a sec.”

           It’s quiet for a moment, and you think that Hobi must have left. A second later, however, you hear him padding across your floor.

           “Are you sick?” He answers his own question as he places his hand against your forehead. “Oh, jagiya, you’re burning up.”

           The pet name has your temperature rising a bit more. “Mm fine.”

           Hobi chuckles softly, taking care to be quiet. “Have you eaten? Where’s your water bottle?” They’re all rhetorical questions apparently, because moments later he’s scooping your water bottle off the floor and tiptoeing back out of your room.

           After what feels like hours later, Hobi sidles back into your room with a full water bottle, some soup he must have microwaved, and another glass of liquid. It’s steaming, the scent making you scrunch up your nose in distaste.

           “What…” you can hardly muster up the energy to finish your sentence. Hobi perches on the edge of your bed, carefully placing everything on your nightstand.

           “It’s medicine. Drink it, and it’ll help. But first you need to sit up.”

           Easier said than done. Your body is exhausted, and your arms shake a bit as you attempt to scoot back against the headboard. Cheeks burning a brighter red, Hobi thankfully doesn’t comment on it. He just patiently readjusts your pillows and tucks your hair behind your ears with meticulous movements that have you smiling softly.

           “Ok,” he sighs out once that’s been taken care of. “Now, eat some soup…” his words trail off as he hands the bowl off to you. He watches as you bring the spoon to your lips, mumbling, “Blow, it’s hot.”

           Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you follow his instructions. Once you’ve eaten over half of the soup and feel too full to continue, he hands you the steaming cup that has you scrunching your nose up all over again.

           “C’mon,” he urges, “my mom used to give this stuff to me all the time when I was a kid. It works like a charm, promise.”

           “Mhm.”

           “What?” He crosses his arms, frowning. “You don’t believe me?”

           You shrug, mindful of the full contents of the glass. “It’s just easier said than done, that’s all.”

           “Here, I’ll take a sip to show you that’s it’s not bad!” Reaching for the cup, you burst out into a fit of laughter as Hobi stares down at the liquid with unabashed terror. He clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “Right…just one sip…”

           Blowing across the surface carefully, he sacrifices his tastebuds. The instant he swallows, he thrusts the cup back into your hands and dives off the bed. “Ach!” He rushes out of the room, no doubt heading for the kitchen. Indeed, a moment later you hear the faucet running and wonder if he just decided to shove his head under the running water instead of wasting time on grabbing a cup from the cupboard.

           With your water bottle on hand, you attempt to chug the medicine. It’s horrid, making you gag, but you continue until the contents are drained. You’ve just managed to drink some water to rid yourself of the lingering taste when you hear Hobi’s phone ring.

           “Hey hyung,” he’s still in the kitchen, but you can hear him clearly. “Oh, yeah…I don’t think we’re gonna make it. No, it’s not that, she said she’d come.”

           You freeze, holding the still-warm cup close to your chest. For some reason, your stomach does a little flip when you hear the way Hobi’s tone changes as he speaks about you. It’s infinitely softer, something you don’t recall hearing before.

           “She took a nap and woke up with a fever-” he pauses. “Yeah, I just gave her medicine. But she needs to rest. She’s exhausted. What? Ugh, really Jin? I’m not-” The sound of Hobi shuffling about has you leaning closer to the open door, trying to hear what he’s saying. His voice is much quieter when he speaks next, but you can still hear bits and pieces of what he’s saying. “I can’t just make a move on her while she’s sick, that’s unethical!”

           Clapping a hand over your mouth before he can hear you snort, your eyes widen. Make a move?

           On you?

           “Yah, quit it. Tell everyone I say hey, I’ve gotta go.” Again there’s a pause, quickly followed by an annoyed hiss. “See, this is why I never tell you anything.”

           He quickly says his goodbyes after that, and you scramble to appear normal despite your pounding heart. You hear Hobi’s sigh from the kitchen, and you wish you could know what he was thinking.

           “Alright,” Hobi calls, heading back into your room. The second he enters you feel as though you’re seeing him for the first time. “Let’s get it- oh, you already finished it?”

           You blink, suddenly blinded by the sight of his adoring smile. As he settles down on the edge of your bed, you manage a feeble nod.

           “Jagi,” again with the pet name, “you look exhausted. Let me take the dishes and how about you go back to sleep?”

           Despite the fact that you literally live in the same apartment, the thought of Hobi leaving you alone in your room has you stalling. “Uh, who called?”

           There’s a flicker of panic that’s quickly replaced with an easy smile. “Jin hyung, he was wondering where we were. Don’t worry, I told him we weren’t gonna be able to make it.”

           You’ve heard plenty about Jin – truthfully about all of Hobi’s friends. You were excited to meet them tonight, after hearing so many stories.

           “I’m sorry,” you frown, still clinging to your glass. “You can still go, if you want.”

           Hobi looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Why would I…? No, I’ll stay here with you. Can’t leave a sickie on their own, you know that.”

           Groaning, roll your eyes. “I feel like an idiot.”

“If you’re an idiot, I’m an idiot.”

You snort, setting your glass down before you cause an accident. “Isn’t it, ‘if you’re a bird, I’m a bird’?”

Hoseok shrugs, a smile playing on his lips. “Close enough.”

He holds your gaze for a few seconds too long, but neither one of you look away first. Instead you bunch up your blankets in your fists and offer him a crooked smile. “Thanks, Hobi.”

His eyes linger on your smile, his lips mirroring it. “Anytime.”

--

4 months in

           Nothing has changed, and yet everything has.

           Ever since you fell ill, you’ve been jumpy. Anytime Hobi accidentally brushes up against you as he reaches for something in the kitchen, whenever he knocks on your door, even when he calls you from the grocery store. It all makes you jump and sends your heart racing.

           “You’re so dramatic.”

           You look up at Yuri, your most brutally honest friend. “…ouch?”

           She shakes her head, sinking down lower in her seat across from you. You keep boxing up your leftover food to take home, wondering if Hobi would like it.

           “I mean it. You’ve been freaking out about this guy for over a month now without doing anything about it.”

           You pause, looking at Yuri with wide, pleading eyes. “What am I supposed to do? He’s my roommate!”

           “So what? Your lease is up in a few weeks, isn’t it? If it backfires, just move out.”

           You snort. “Easier said than done. I can’t just up and move whenever I like, you know.”

           “You can’t or you don’t want to?”

           “Shut up.”

           “I refuse. Now,” Yuri checks the time on her phone. “tell me what you like about him.”

           “I never said-” you sputter, but Yuri holds up a hand and cuts you off.

           “Actions speak louder than words. He’s literally your background on your home screen.”

           Ok, that sounds like a bit much. It’s true, though. A week ago Hobi finally got to take you out to meet his friends. Together you went on a midnight hike (something you’d honestly never do again) and found a breathtaking view at the top. His friends, specifically Jimin and Taehyung, had practically shoved the two of you together for an impromptu photoshoot under the night sky.

           The photos are a little blurry and dark, but you love them. Enough to add one as your background. “But you can’t actually see us in the picture, it’s just pretty-”

           “Sure it is. You two make a cute couple.”

           “W-we do?”

           Yuri jumps up, clapping her hands and startling a couple just a few tables down. “Aha! See, you do have feelings for him!”

           “Ok, ok,” you hold up your hands in surrender. “Just sit down.”

           Once she’s taken her seat again and apologized loud enough for the couple she scared to hear her, you lean in close over the table. She rubs her hands together, looking every bit the scheming friend she is.

           “Alright, let’s plot, shall we?”

--

           Hobi checks the window for the eighth time in under five minutes, brushing the curtains aside to see if your car is in the lot yet. It’s not.

           “C’mon Jung,” he rolls his neck, bouncing on his feet. “Calm down. Keep it chill. Everything’s fine.”

           Everything is not fine.

           Things haven’t been fine for months now, something he’s been able to deny to an impressive level. Last weeks, however, the lie came to an end.

           His friends loved you. Like, ranted and raved about how funny and cool you were until he was worried he needed to organize an intervention. Then, the icing on the cake.

           Yoongi had grabbed him while you were hiking back down, sandwiched between Jin and Jungkook. He nodded down at you, turning a knowing eye to Hobi.

           “So…when’s that gonna happen?”

           Hobi played dumb, frowning at Yoongi. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

           “Hoseok, c’mon.”

           You laughed at Taehyung, who jogged up ahead. He was quickly joined by Jungkook. Hobi’s pretty sure his heart stopped beating as you turned around, searching for him. Once your eyes found his, your smile widened.

           Yoongi laughed at his side. “You’re whipped, and you don’t even realize it.”

           Indeed he was. Dangerously so, if he was going off of the amount of times he’s knocked on your door to ask you out only to change his story at the very last moment to ask you something stupid instead. You never seemed to mind, just laughing at his strange questions and teasing him mercilessly.

           “Ok,” Hobi whispers to himself, still bouncing on the balls of his feet. “You’ve got this. Just rip it off like a Band-Aid. Quick and to the point.” He tilts his head to one side. “But not the painful part. No pain.”

           He’s in the middle of his pep talk when the sound of your key in the lock alerts him to your return. Hobi is standing in the middle of the living room, looking like an idiot. Naturally, he shoves his hands in his pockets. Yeah, that makes him look less like an idiot.

           The second the door opens and you step into the apartment, every thought eddies out of Hobi’s mind.

           You freeze, not expecting Hobi to be standing in the middle of the living room impersonating a lamp when you got home.

           “Hi…?” Hobi swallows at the sound of your voice, watching your every move as you slowly lift up the bag of leftovers. “I brought home leftovers if you want some…”

           “I need you to go out with me.”

           Now you’re really frozen, staring up at Hobi as his eyes widen at his own words.

           “What? What for?”

           “For me.”

           You slowly close the door behind you, setting the food down on the counter before turning to face Hobi again. “For you?”

           He nods, a panicked look in his eyes. “Yes. For me.”

           “Hobi, I don’t understand. Do you need a plus one or something for an event? Is that what it is?”

           Removing his hands from his pockets and taking a step towards you, Hobi shakes his head. “What? No, I need- I need you.”

            It’s a good thing you already set the food down. “Me?” You squeak out, looking your roommate up and down as he takes another step.

           “Us.”

           Clearly there’s been a communication error. Hobi brushes his hair back from his face, chewing on his bottom lip before coming to a stop before you.

           “Us,” he repeats, voice low. “I need us to be a thing.”

           “O-oh.” That’s all you can manage as you try to recall if Hobi has ever looked at you like this before. It’s hard to contain yourself when you realize that he has, however he’s always been quick to mask it with something else. Or, more often than not, a silly question.

           “Will- can you…” he stops, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Without his gaze on you, you gain a bit of courage and raise a hand to cup his cheek. His eyes fly open, and he offers you a shy smile. “Do you want to go out with me? On a date?”

           Craning your neck, you hold your breath and plant a kiss on his cheek. You delight in the way he instantly flushes, garnering more courage by the second.

           “Yes.” Then you arch a brow. “I have one condition, though.”

           Hobi’s eyes are half closed as he looks down at you, appearing as though he’s slipped into some euphoric realm. “Hmm, anything.”

           “I demand French Toast.”

           Dissolving into a fit of laughter, Hobi sinks to the ground, taking you down with him. You protest, but not too much. Holding you tightly, Hobi subsides in his laughter enough to wink down at you. “French Toast it is.”

--

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[themagnuswriters]

Asexuality in Fic Roundtable - What We Like

How do I write a convincing asexual character in a fic?  Is there a way to address a character’s sexuality outside the context of sex or coming out?  Can a story feature a character's asexuality aside from exploring the negative aspects of the asexual experience?  It’s usually not too hard to find lists of what not to do when writing asexual characters, but much more difficult to find the opposite.

The asexual members of The Magnus Writers discord gathered to discuss their favorite ways to incorporate the day-to-day details of asexual peoples’ experiences into fiction.  We also discussed depictions that we’ve enjoyed in the past, or would love to see more of.  Note that this isn’t an Asexuality 101 resource, so if you don’t feel familiar with the basics, feel free to check out the resources we will link in the reblog of this post.

This conversation included a variety of ace-spectrum people from multiple countries, including both arospec and non-aro people, various genders, and varying relationships to sex and sexual content.  Just like all asexual people are different, the things that we enjoy reading are far from universal.  Some tropes/details brought up as favorites can vary widely--for example, “innuendo completely flies over their head” vs. “they understand but are completely unfazed by innuendo.”  Additionally, some aces love tropes that others would prefer to avoid: for instance some enjoy discussions of physical boundaries to be included in the fic, and some prefer that to be established as happening in the past.  

The examples brought up in our discussion are also far from comprehensive, and can be seen as the beginning of an endless list of possible ways to write asexual characters.  Some examples given are specific to the Magnus Archives, but can apply to any writing.  Take these as inspiration and a way to broaden your understanding of who we are and what we like to see!

ASEXUALITY IN YOUR SETTING

When writing a story including asexual characters, one of your first considerations may be for how asexuality is contextualized within your setting:  Is it fully normalized and accepted?  Does it reflect real-world stigmas?  How is asexuality treated by the narrative and the other characters?  Contributors showed interest in a variety of approaches on this front, with no single approach being worth more than other:

Fics including negative real-world experiences

These would include fics in a realistic setting, where characters may struggle with internalized acephobia, stigma, social pressure, microaggressions, dysphoria, and so on.  This isn’t limited to just “issue fic,” where the focus of the fic is about examining and confronting a struggle, but rather encompasses anything that includes this consideration in its worldbuilding and characterization.  While brighter settings can be refreshing, contributors described reasons why this kind of fic appeals to them:

Feeling seen: Reading about ace characters whose experiences reflect their own

Feeling validated:  Being exposed to only stories where there are no issues on this front can feel like we’re the only one facing these struggles.  It can be extremely cathartic to read something and think “I thought I was the only person who went through this.”

Exploring improvement/hope:  From ace characters learning to accept themselves or other characters making mistakes and accepting correction, these can be validating and encouraging.

On top of ace readers finding worth in these fics, the act of writing the fic can also be very cathartic for many ace authors.

There is a lot of variety for how these fics can be written, such as:

Stories that focus on the negative experience

Stories where that experience is just part of the setting or characterization

The character(s) getting external support and validation

The character facing mixed dismissiveness, acceptance, prejudice, etc. from different people

The story resolving in a way where the situation is resolved: for instance, cutting off an acephobic relationship, or someone apologizing for a microaggression.

Stories where well-meaning characters are accidentally insensitive about asexuality, but learn better and change their behavior

The character confronting or overcoming an internal struggle

Stories where the issues aren’t fully resolved by the end, such as an insecurity not fully going away.

Negative asexual experiences don’t have to be the focus of a fic to be acknowledged. While “issue fics” that closely examine and explore these experiences are valuable, contributors also described enjoying stories that included them as simply an element of the worldbuilding or characterization.  For instance, a story may reference Jon having bad past relationship experiences; facing assumptions that he’s having sex if he’s in a relationship; having moments of insecurities about his sexuality; etc.

Please note that writing negative ace experiences needs to be handled sensitively; fics of this type should definitely be tagged appropriately.  For brief references, consider including author’s note warnings on the appropriate chapter (e.g. “asexual character assumed to be having sex”).  Having an asexual sensitivity reader--particularly one of a type that corresponds with what you’re writing (i.e. sex-neutral, gray-ace, sex-repulsed, etc)--is very much encouraged.

Fics where asexuality is normalized

In contrast, there is just as much interest in stories that avoid all of these issues, and fully normalize asexuality.  Contributors described how they enjoy stories where ace characters are allowed to just exist, without big important conversations or small othering details that depict asexual identities as less than fully accepted.

These can be included in any type of fic, but a few of the suggested details for how to normalize asexuality in a setting include:

A character being already out and accepted:  For instance, Martin already knowing about Jon’s asexuality from early seasons.

Characters in the fic already knowing what asexuality is without needing it explained to them

Having more than one character be asexual:  We aren’t confined to writing only canon characters as ace!  This not only goes the extra mile in normalizing asexuality, but it gives the chance to include more of the ace spectrum.

If you’re aiming for asexuality to be normalized, please consider whether it makes sense for your asexual character to be anxious about coming out or discussing boundaries.  There is a world of difference between someone responding to an ace character coming out with “I fully support you” and responding with “you’re an idiot for thinking we wouldn’t support you.”  This is a common and easy pitfall to fall into, but the result is often less escapism and more a message of “your struggles aren’t real, and you’re stupid for thinking they are.”

Asexuality in Metaphor

Some contributors mentioned wanting to read settings where asexuality itself is normalized, but the issues facing aces could be explored on a metaphorical level.  This falls somewhere in between the ideas of realistic or idealized settings as regards the ace experience, and could allow that exploration with a layer of distance.  Ideas relating to this included fantasy settings with different kinds of magic.

PERSONALITY AND CHARACTERIZATION

The experience of being asexual isn’t something just limited to a relationship with sex: it can be shown in many ways, such as how a character relates to themselves, other people, media, and society.  Like any other queer identity, it affects many aspects of our lives and informs a great deal about us as people.  These little details don’t even need to be presented in a blunt “this is because this character is asexual” way--they can be little relatable notes for your ace readers, while not coming across in a “this is how all ace people are” way.

We’ve seen the question “how do I write a character as asexual, if I’m not planning on having someone ask them for sex or writing a coming-out scene?” many times.  Our contributors were excited to share a wide variety of ideas for this from things they’ve read, written, or experienced:

Ace confusion

Not to be confused with the infantilizing “doesn’t know what sex is” approach, this could involve things like:

Being confused over what sexual attraction is: difficulty defining what they don’t experience.

Difficulty describing to others what lack of sexual attraction is: this is their default, and it can be difficult to contrast it to what they don’t experience.

Thinking that others describing sexual attraction or interest is just exaggeration

“Wait, that’s what you mean when you say ‘hot’?  I just thought it meant they’re gorgeous.”

“You mean meeting someone and being instantly sexually interested in them is a real thing, and not just a movie trope?”

The Absurdity of How Society Views Sex

The jarring dissonance between asexual experiences and the norms in society and media can cause a lot of alienation and dysphoria in aces, but often it hits a point of feeling like a joke is being played on you.  Contributors offered ideas for how this could be illustrated through a character:

Reading “How to Spice Up Your Love Life” articles out of pure morbid curiosity

Taking the most ridiculous Cosmo sex life article as How Everyone Thinks (and being concerned)

Having an allo friend or partner they can ask about whether any of it is legitimate advice (this one was brought up by a lot of people as a common ace experience)

An ADHD/autistic character getting a special interest or hyperfixation on societal views on sex or sexual practices, and pursuing it as purely a matter of research with no interest in participating

“Why do they keep bringing up ice cubes?  Georgie, stop laughing, I am a researcher and a scholar.”

Needing to teleport out of the room if a sex scene comes up in a movie

Not minding the sex scenes, but needing to make fun of them or point out impracticalities

“On the beach?  But sand is everywhere?  Wait, they think getting sand everywhere is hot??”

Being baffled at what’s considered sexy: for example, Jon being baffled at “wet clothes are sexy,” having grown up by the beach and associating them with being terribly uncomfortable

Of course, asexual characters don’t need to be framed like they constantly need to learn about things from allo people--sometimes the reverse can be a fun twist.  One reversal, for example, could be an ace person helping their allo friend parse whether their attraction to someone is simply sexual or also romantic.

Aces vs. flirting

While not specifically connected to sexual attraction, how a character interacts with flirting can very much demonstrate the asexual experience.  Contributors discussed a variety of their own experiences, and details they’ve enjoyed reading for ace characters:

Having difficulty distinguishing between different kinds of draws to people--is it romance?  Friendship?  

Having difficulty picking up on whether or not someone is interested in them

Failing to realize they’re flirting or being flirted with

Enjoying flirting as just a fun thing to do without any particular goal (a popular suggestion for a Tim ace headcanon)

Casually flirting but then backing off if it becomes “real”

Several examples were given of scenarios these could be used for Jon:

Jon’s dry prickliness stemming from wanting to avoid people thinking he’s flirting or showing interest in them, not being sure where others judge the line between “flirting” or “being nice.”  

Jon deciding he is going to make an effort to be more friendly to people, and awkwardly starts showering others with compliments; some of them interpret it as flirting and it’s very confusing.

Jon (or Martin) being overly dramatic or romantic when purposefully showing interest in someone, drawing from a basis of books or media rather than social experience.

Aces vs. hotness

We might use the word “hot” excessively, but ace people often have their own understanding of the word (and are often surprised to learn what others mean by it).  Contributors brought up the following ideas for this area:

Using “hot” as an expression of “gorgeous to look at,” and being confused to learn that others use it as a sexual expression.

Engaging with “are they hot” conversations based purely on aesthetics, or other impressions like “would they give good hugs.”

Focusing on seemingly random physical details, like wrists or eyebrow shape, over more commonly sexualized ones.

Being confused over the criteria others use for hotness.  Example:  Jon’s reaction to “the hot one” comment.

Finding fictional characters not represented by a real person “hot” (e.g. from books, podcasts, video games with bad graphics, etc)

Using the words “hot” and sexy” for completely nonsexual things.  Several contributors described being told they couldn’t be ace if they called anything hot/sexy, and then doing it more out of spite.

Being completely unfazed by innuendo or sex/nudity:  For example, Jon’s calm response vs. Martin being flustered at Tim stripping

This is also an area where a story can establish the nature of their relationship with those around them: if a character is comfortably out as not being interested in sex, for instance, you can show that others around them support that by making their conversations more inclusive. For example, a “fuck, marry, kill” game with modified categories, or a “who would you have sex with” conversation changed to a “who would you have dinner with” one once the ace character enters.  

Aces vs. sexual humor

Ace people’s reactions to sexual humor can vary as much as the reactions to flirting.  Contributors described enjoying a broad range of these:

Aces who love sexual humor (not limited to sex-favorable aces)

Humor taking an angle of “sex is so strange, glad it isn’t real.”

Aces who are bored with or exhausted by sexual humor

Not finding sexual humor funny unless it’s also clever.  “Yes I know that’s a sexual reference...wait, it was meant to be funny?  Because it’s connected to sex?  ....I see.  Anyway.”

Bonus points if the “is that supposed to be funny because it’s sexual?” ace and the filthy humor ace are friends

It can even vary for the same person from setting to setting: someone may find making dirty jokes with a group of ace friends might be fun (see the “Absurdity of Sex” section above), but be very uncomfortable with someone else trying to twist something they said into something sexual.  There’s also the nature of the joke itself: a silly pun may be fine, but a joke implying the ace person is interested in sex or said something sexual without meaning to may be alienating.

For TMA, the general interpretation of Jon is that he’d be uncomfortable with sexual humor, which is relatable to a lot of asexual people, but contributors brought up other possibilities as well: for example, the idea of Jon liking clever wordplay so much that if it just so happens to include something sexual, it doesn’t feel odd to him--why do the others look so shocked?

Note:  A lot of asexual awareness posts insensitively treat the concept of aces who love filthy humor as more mature, more easygoing, less stereotypical, or otherwise superior to aces who are uncomfortable with sexual humor.  This is a very harmful attitude that looks down on a lot of asexual people, and adds a pressure to push past comfort levels to fit in and “avoid being a stereotype.”  Contributors loved reading stories that include flirty or filthy aces, but not when they take this tone.  A favorite suggestion was to include more than one ace character to depict a variety, while treating them as equally valid.

Somewhat related to this is ace people’s relationship to sexual euphemisms.  Contributors described their experiences or how they might write an ace character responding to these:

Being exhausted by how so many terms are considered euphemisms, or how any comment could be reframed as sexual.

Having a special annoyance when they accidentally stumble into or misunderstand a euphemism

Wanting to decouple euphemisms from their literal meaning: why does “spending the night” or “going home with someone” have to mean “having sex”?

In the same line, being very blunt and straightforward about making sexual references, because why dance around it?

Characterization Considerations

One discussion that is particularly relevant to The Magnus Archives is the idea of the “uptight nerd” ace persona.  It may sound strange to say, but there is some legitimacy in this characterization, but for different reasons than is stereotyped.  Many of us build up this persona while growing up--particularly in adolescence and early adulthood--to fend off uncomfortable social pressure, self-examination, or external criticism for why we relate to sex differently than our peers.  This often involves playing up certain defenses for discomfort for sex or dating:  “I don’t have time for any of that, I only have time for books and knowledge!”  Or, the adult version:  “I don’t have time for relationships, I’m married to my job!”  

Where this departs from the stereotype is that these are generally coping mechanisms or facades rather than the truth.  Asexuality isn’t “of course they don’t have time for sex, they’re obsessed with this or that”--but an asexual person who doesn’t feel comfortable in their environment, such as around work, school, or family, may deflect judgment with similar excuses.  Similar to this, some find it tempting to be antisocial or hostile on purpose to fend off interest in them or avoid sexual expectations.

This is, of course, far from the only way an ace character could be written.  For instance, if you wanted to write a setting where asexuality is more accepted, you could write Jon’s antisocial and closed-off tendencies as a result of being bullied from a very young age, while he is confident and secure in his asexuality.  Or for other characters: you could write Tim as someone who has enjoyed sexual relationships, but just thought everyone was exaggerating on the attraction side of things.

Intersection of Asexuality with Other Identities

Another characterization consideration is how asexuality intersects with other identities and experiences included in the fic.  Below are a few examples of many:

Asexuality and masculinity:  Social expectations of masculinity place a high emphasis on sexuality, particularly heterosexuality, treating sexual activity as a commodity or prize.  One possible reading of The Magnus Archives is Jon’s tendency to have closer and more numerous friendships with women connects to this.    

Asexuality and trans identities:  There is a significant overlap between aspec and trans identities, particularly nonbinary identities.  Based on an October 2020 study by the Trevor Project (see link in reblog), ace respondents were roughly 50% more likely to be trans (including nonbinary) than allo respondents.  Contributors described how they’ve felt things like “is this dysphoria I’m feeling a gender thing or an asexuality thing,” or how figuring out their asexuality helped them explore their gender.

Asexuality and race:  In combination with LGBTQ+ spaces often being white-dominated, people of color often face stereotypes that hypersexualize or desexualize them.  This can have a strong impact on people of color’s experience and self-perception as asexual.  For instance, if you are writing Jon as Indian, you could consider how this may have impacted his experiences in LGBTQ spaces in university.  As there is no ‘one size fits all’ experience for aces of color, we strongly recommend researching for the particular background you have in mind.  We will be adding resource links to our main page shortly, but in the meantime check out the links in the reblog of this post!

INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIPS

One of the topics addressed in our discussion was how a character’s asexuality may impact their experiences with intimacy and romantic relationships. Contributors discussed ways to portray this in fic, whether or not it includes sex or even mentions it.

Physical Intimacy

Intimacy, sensuality, and sex are separate things that may or may not overlap depending on the individual.  Contributors discussed how, for people across the ace spectrum, the relationship between these three tends to differ from common societal frameworks or depictions of intimacy in fiction.

Enjoying physical intimacy without the expectation that it will become sexual: massages, falling asleep on top of each other, bathing together, etc.

This includes acts that would often be expected to “lead somewhere” but don’t, such as lots of touching or nude cuddling.

Craving closeness/touch completely outside of sexual drive

One scenario suggested for this topic is an asexual character discovering that without the worry that an act of intimacy will ‘lead somewhere,’ they enjoy something they used to get anxious about, such as sharing a bed or showering together.

Boundaries & Communication

Stories with an asexual character in a relationship often address physical boundaries within that relationship.  The below are some of the scenarios contributors have enjoyed:

People communicating over their sexual boundaries, rather than assuming what these are as soon as they hear the word “asexual.”

The boundaries discussion being framed as something that any couple in a fictional relationship should have, not just because one is asexual.

In relationships between allo and ace characters, the allo character having boundaries of their own, rather than just the ace character.

Normalizing boundaries discussions for allo couples as well.

Note:  If a boundaries discussion involves a sex-favorable ace character, take caution at the risk of having them sound offended or derisive that the discussion is happening (e.g. “What, I’m not a child” or “Not all aces are like that.”).  Enforcing the idea that people should assume their partner is sex-interested is extremely harmful to sex-disinterested aces.

Some contributors noted that they prefer fics where the boundaries discussion is something that has taken place in the past, rather than run through at the beginning of each fic they read.  In these cases, this past discussion could be illustrated in the interaction itself: a character’s awareness of what lines not to cross, the other’s confidence and trust that those boundaries will be respected, and so on.

Issues of Intimacy Outside of Sex

While aversion to sex is the most well-known dimension of asexuality, there are other aversions and boundaries that could apply to either ace or allo characters:

Ace characters that are kiss-averse and/or touch-averse:  This also works against the “They won’t have sex, but they’ll make up for that with kissing even more!” trope that implies asexual people have to compensate for a nonsexual relationship.

Allo characters with their own aversions or specific boundaries: suggestions included how this can apply to trans characters.

Fluctuations in levels of aversion (note: it is important to not treat increased aversion as “progress” or decreased aversion as “regression”)

In cases of fluctuating aversion, characters developing ways to communicate these levels, and responding appropriately.  For example, “Kissing is not on the table right now, let’s move on to something more comfortable.”

Contributors were excited to discuss how this area could particularly be used for the allo partner of an ace character, such as an allo Martin having difficulties with touch post-Lonely, or discovering that he doesn’t enjoy kissing.

Relationships to Sex (or Lack Thereof)

Asexuality ‘subtypes’ are terms many aces describe their personal relationship with sex and/or sexual content.  These are simplified self-descriptors rather than rigid categories or mini-sexualities, and the terms rarely encompass the full detail of that relationship.  Please note that the below discussion assumes a general familiarity with ace subtypes.

Needless to say, aces across the spectrum and of every subtype want to see their identities represented in fic.  The discussion focused on ways to illustrate those experiences, and details contributors would enjoy seeing:

Non-averse aces trying sex and deciding they have no interest in it: pushing back against the “if you’re not repulsed you’ll like and want sex” idea.

No expectation that “sex-favorable” means always interested in sex.

The pressure an ace person may face to oversimplify their relationship to sex or sexual content out of fear they’ll appear inconsistent or exaggerating:  “If I’m okay with this now, what if I’m not later?  Will I seem picky if I’m only comfortable with something in an extremely specific scenario?”

“Sex repulsion” and “sex aversion” generally are used to describe asexual people who don’t want sex, but are simplified terms for what can be immensely varied experiences.  Someone could be repulsed by physical involvement in sex, repulsed by personally engaging in anything sexual, repulsed by sexual content, repulsed by just the idea of sex--or any variation or combination of these.  There are even repulsions that could be part of more sex-interested subtypes: an ace who enjoys sex but is repulsed by nudity, or an ace who enjoys sexual activities with a partner but not being touched during them, etc.

Contributors discussed how much they enjoy reading simple “I just don’t want sex” approaches to aversion/repulsion, but also look forward to reading explorations such as:

Enjoying one specific type of engagement with sexual content or activity, but having an aversion to others.

Regularly varying levels of repulsion: Days of “please don’t remind me sex exists” to days of mild curiosity, for instance.

Aces with a relationship to sex that doesn’t involve another person, including if they’re in a relationship.

Fluidity between ace subtypes can fluctuate between sex-interested and sex-disinterested in both directions: it can be both “I said I wasn’t interested in this before, but let’s carefully revisit” and “I know we’ve been doing this, but I’m no longer comfortable with it.”  Contributors mentioned never having seen fic with the latter, and expressed an interest in reading stories exploring this.

On this note, it is common for stories of fluidity between subtypes to be only moving in a more sex-interested direction.  Many asexual people, particularly sex-averse aces, face immense pressure to ‘learn how to like sex,’ or have their sexuality erased by saying they’re a ‘late bloomer’ who will learn to like it later.  Depicting this direction should be done with great care and nuance, and we strongly recommend getting feedback from a sex-disinterested sensitivity reader for stories of this type.  It’s possible that an ace reader who isn’t sex-disinterested would miss or not be affected by something that is quite painful to sex-disinterested aces.

CONCLUSION

If you’ve stuck with us for this long, well done! We understand that such a long resource can be a bit overwhelming, but we hope it can show you the depth of variety and enthusiasm ace readers have for more ace content and inspire you further.  One thing we all had in common during our discussion was how excited we were to have a canonically asexual protagonist, and how thrilled we were to see content that explored his asexuality.  In putting together this resource, we hope that you are encouraged to write about characters whose asexuality impacts their experiences and the story in unique, thoughtful, and creative ways.  We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

[a-bio-hero-writer]

Lovely! So in case you didn’t know, it’s the anon with the earlier crush requests here. So here’s an idea, and I don’t care if it takes a long time to get to, time is one thing I have plenty of: how do you think Antroz and/or Vamprah would react to having a crush on the reader? I mean yeah, they’d probably be focused on their goals, but let’s just pretend they weren’t trying to destroy the world here. Or it could be as they would normally act. Anything works. Thank you and have a nice day!

Here ya go :)) Have fun

Also I’m sorry for the gifs, they ain’t as great as they should be

I believe that he would be the oblivious type

As in completely unaware about his feelings

He would try to have his crush near him all the time, however would have no idea that he has feelings for the said crush

And what is better than having their rank increased

Like a higher rank general/his right hand/advisor or something along those lines (garmadaddy vibes except he’s serious and more focused + actually applies honour to what he’s doing)

"Love, can you take these to others? I would really appreciate it."

"Darling, have you seen my supersuit weapons?"

All those pet names, and him still being unaware that he is completely in love

100% will fight others.

"Back off with thy filthy hands, no one touches the heavenly one"

An unusual trait that would frighten probably everyone else but is completely normal for the two: Antroz, while still being in flight, randomly scoops up his love interest into the air, like an eagle does with its prey or something like that and continue the conversation about the important matters

"Have you checked whether we’ve got enough equipment."

"I had Chirox do it"

"Huh, he must’ve been displeased."

"As if I care."

"You do, he’s on your team."

"You’re right. What’s next on the list?"

He chose his crush as his right hand, but in the end it’s pretty obvious that the roles are reversed

He’s the one who would do (pretty much) anything for the said crush

"I’m not sure if that plan will work, Antroz. Wouldn’t it be better to leave the battlefield before everyone gets destroyed?"

"I’m not truly fond of that idea. However you are my #1 advisor. Whatever you wish shall happen."

"Oh, in that case I want to go on a trip to Voya Nui."

"This can be arranged. But we’re killing Teridax afterwards."

Canon can go and cry abt me altering it can’t say I care

The love interest confessed first though.

"Oh… Ohh… so that’s why I’ve been drawn to you."

"What do you mean?"

"When I recruited you I just simply fell for you."

"??? You weren’t aware of that until now-"

"Yeah, can we now go back to the world domination plans please?"

Mostly enjoying silence together

Pretty much wordless communication as well

Vamprah needs something? Say no more he actually said nothing but oh well, crush already is there next to him with the needed thing

In difference to Antroz, I believe that Vamprah first became friends and only fell afterwards

Hence there was trash talking about other members at first because of reasons specified later

Especially during the times of need

"I think Chirox is in trouble"

"Honestly struggling to care, to be fair"

Ft. Even more trash talking whenever he gets jealous that crush is spending more time with others

"[Name], Icarax ain’t shit"

"What one considers a knight in shining armour to be, Icarax is more of a loser in aluminium foil, so why even bother getting mad."

"Shots fired"

He likes the idea of taking his crush to the hunts

Since, after all, the two work really well without talking, so why wouldn’t it be helpful in practice

Another typical thing is for the crush to hold onto Vamprah’s back while he climbs or is in flight and Gavla isn’t around

Fights others too

He’s the nervous type when it comes to love stuff

Friend? Stoic behaviour, no need for any special emotions

Crush? Panic.

Tried very hard to keep his cool

He really did

"Everything is going to be fine, it’s just a crush."

"Hey Vamprah"

"I love you-"

Yeah, it was a fast and unexpected confession

But It worked so he isn’t bothered by it

He starts to get bothered though when questions about his past resurface

"What do you mean nobody has never been interested in you in a romantic way?"

"I used to have an imaginary special one for a while, but then they left me. Apparently I was giving them a silent treatment."

"But you hardly ever speak-"

[plutodexay]

Peter Parker imagine

This idea was all over the place word count wise and my brain was very weird when I wrote it but I think its adorable. Also I can’t think of a title for the life of me sorry

This can be read as any Peter parker you want but just know my mind was filled with Andrew Garfield the entire time

(1351)

It was late, the moon was rising as the streets were silent with the occasional passing car roaring by as if speed limits don’t apply past midnight. That was the standard for this time of night, I think. This was not my usual midnight routine, normally I would be in bed or on the phone, not walking, by myself, at midnight, to my boyfriends house. 

Peter’s place was only a thirty minute walk from mine, and it was almost always him coming over to mine. But he wasn’t answering his phone for the past few hours without saying goodnight, and he always says goodnight. He’s the one who makes sure its said, and I don’t think there has been a day I’ve known him where he fell asleep before me, so all of this was leading me to freak out.  More than likely he would freak out because of me walking over here alone, but at this point I didn’t care. 

I was only a few minutes into my walk when I saw the lights flicker in a building on my path, quickly after that a slam was heard inside the place. Stupidly, I walked closer trying to see what was going on, before I made eye contact with someone inside the building. They just stared at me while crashes continued happening around them.

I felt stuck, my eyes were glued to theirs, my heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. Their head was turning left to right as the lights started flickering once again, and flashes of red and blue started appearing behind them. Arm raising they tried to hit whatever was flying around them, yet every movement only resulted in more flashing before eventually the flash of red knocked him over, shaking out of whatever trace I had been stuck in I started running, it took me a second to remember which way was Peters before I ran with everything I had in me. I heard a few more crashes before I ran into something blocking my way and falling down.

“Are you alright?” A panicked yet familiar voice rang out, looking up at them I noticed it was the flash of red I saw before. There were a few scrapes and cuts covering his body, in a panic I looked back towards the building only to see no movement inside and the lights had stopped flickering. Looking up at the face before me is when I saw the mask.

“You’re spiderman” My voice came out in a whispered tone, cracking towards the end. They held their hand out towards me, motioning me to grab it. Doing so the masked person pulled me up ever so carefully. I could feel their hand shaking under the fabric of the suit, their whole body read panicked and I swore I heard their breath stutter for a moment. 

They gave me a slight nod before looking me all over, presumably checking for any signs of injuries similar to the ones they had. 

“What are you doing out this late” Their voice came out in a hushed tone, hand still holding mine and shaking while looking me straight in the eyes, almost as if they were personally concerned. 

“I was walking to my boyfriends, he wasn’t answering so I wanted to make sure he was okay” I rushed out, the adrenaline of the entire past few minutes catching up to me. 

Sirens started sounding off past the building, slowly getting louder and louder the longer we stood there. It wasn’t until the lights of the cars started to flash near us that the stare down we were somehow doing ended. 

“Well alright then” They coughed all while making their voice obviously deeper than it was. “Just get there safe” Continuing to try and push the fake voice on me, they nodded stiffly before walking past me. I followed their path for a moment until they headed down an alley and the lights got even brighter. 

Once again I started running towards Peter’s as the sirens got quieter behind me. I kept running until I got to the outside of his apartment building. Rushing inside I pushed the elevator button practically non stop until the thing finally opened. I could still feel my heart racing while I tried to stand still in the elevator only to realize I had yet to press his floor button. 

Pacing back and forth as the elevator traveled up all I could think about was hugging Peter, and explaining to him all the chaos that just happened. What had happened though, was it a bank robbery? Some angry bank employees? The mafia? 

Thankfully the doors opened before my thought process could get even more insane, I stared at the open doors for a moment before rushing out of them as fast as I could. Nearly slamming my head on a wall as I turned the corner. Peter’s apartment was already unlocked as I opened the door with the knowledge of Aunt May not being home so I didn’t have to worry about waking her. Going up to Peter’s bedroom I knocked on the door as many times as I could before he opened the door, which was extremely quick, almost as if he had been standing right behind it. 

Looking up at him I noticed how tired he looked, the bags under his eyes were much darker than they normally are with how little sleep he gets. There was no small blush on his cheeks but rather just pale skin, paler than his already extremely pale skin. He was wearing an old sweater that practically fell off of him that he only wore when he was stressed. 

I felt all the adrenaline leave my body when I looked at him, normally he smiled whenever I pulled something similar to this but tonight was different. Hell, he looked like he’d just lived his worst nightmare. 

“What’s wrong?” The moment I spoke Peter cracked, lunging towards me he wrapped his arms around my torso as tight as he possibly could before burying his head into the crook of my neck. His chest was quickly rising and falling against my own as he continued to try and hold me harder. 

Getting over the initial shock of the hug, I shot my hands around him. One going around his back and the other reaching to run through his hair in a calming manor. My hand kept getting stuck in the mess which held more to how bad he felt, everything about him just seemed so panicked.

“Missed you” He mumbled into my neck after standing in silence for however long passed by, arms still impossibly tight around me. 

“I missed you too” I wanted to bring up how he was the one who didn’t answer my calls but ultimately decided against it given his state, and that he was hugging me so hard it simply hurt to talk to much. 

“Was scared you got hurt, heard sirens” He mumbled once again, but this time he brought his face out of my neck to look at me, his hand reaching up and gently cupping my face and his thumb moved back and forth over my cheekbone.

“I’m alright I promise” I smiled at him before leaning up to kiss him, our lips touching ever so softly before parting once again. 

We stayed staring at each other for a few moments before he moved his hand from my cheek to grab my own hand. Quickly he started pulling me towards his bed before falling onto it. Letting go of my hand, he stretched his arms out waiting for me to climb in between them. Laughing, I laid down in his arms and he wrapped the around me once again, kissing the top of my head whispering different affections over and over until soft snores started to leave his mouth. 

It didn’t even come to mind to ask how he knew I was near the bank, or heard the sirens when they were nowhere near his place

Tag list: @venxaax @somber-starlight-wasteland

[laequiem]

Kiss-proof

/ Jude has lost Cardan in the mall. Of course, he is in the one place she would never go. Domestic fluff, fluffy fluffiest fluff

Fandom: The Folk of The Air

Rating: T for mention of characters having a sex life, but that's it.

The flaw in Cardan's glamour is the same detail that infuriates me when I look at his face when he wakes up: he is impossibly beautiful. Not handsome like a popular actor, not pretty like the members of a boyband. He is absolutely devastating, just as he is as a faerie.

read on ao3 • part of Tales from the Mortal Realm

I check my bulky flip phone for the 5th time.

4:23pm.

I don't know why I expected Cardan to be back on time. I had some errands to do—which might include lingerie I wanted to keep secret until our anniversary—so I told him to explore the mall on his own. I gave him some (real, non-glamoured) money to spend like a child with an allowance.

There are so many red flags with this whole plan.

I do not like to admit it, but I'm worried. My extravagant husband has enough trouble fitting in with humans when he is with me, I can only imagine the trouble he can get himself in without me. Or the trouble that can find him when I am not there to protect him.

I get up from the bench that I had designed as our meeting point. Where could he be? Anywhere I would not go, which does not narrow the list down very much. As I walk around, I can imagine him enjoying every single one of these places.

Cardan smelling some bath bombs and chatting up with a pushy Lush salesperson. All that glitter, all that dye—the servants would rage at having to clean the tub afterwards.

Cardan entering a sterile-looking jewelry store, eyes glittering at all the precious gems.

Cardan browsing Hot Topic, digging into bowls of plastic rings and looking at shirts for bands he does not know.

My stomach drops as I stand before the one store I know I will find him in. Black-and-white striped pillars stand on either side of the storefront and the dreaded white font over black spells out the name of the store: Sephora.

I have never entered a Sephora before. They are intimidating and I know nothing about their products. Whenever I needed new eyeliner, I would just ask Vivi to buy me whichever one she thought was best. Nowadays, I can count on my husband's extensive makeup collection and skills.

“We have servants to do this!” I had insisted the first time he approached me with a kohl pencil. He had laughed, and I let him line my eyes. Ever since, I look forward to it. It’s a small, intimate gesture with which we prove our love to each other without saying a word. It is his way of showing care, and my way of showing trust.

I pass the threshold of the store and I spot him immediately. Even without my True Sight making his glamour ripple when I gaze at him, I would still have a hard time believing he is human. His glamour is perfect—rounded ears, no tail, the glitter of his skin dulled down to a normal healthy shine—but every glamour should have a flaw. The flaw in Cardan's glamour is the same detail that infuriates me when I look at his face when he wakes up: he is impossibly beautiful. Not handsome like a popular actor, not pretty like the members of a boyband. He is absolutely devastating, just as he is as a faerie.

Even amongst gorgeous people who perfected their faces through makeup and good lighting, he stands out.

For me, however, bewilderment comes from seeing Cardan wait in line like a normal person. Like a boy who did not grow up as an entitled prick. It shakes me so much that I stop in my tracks and watch him walk up to the register once the previous client leaves.

He adapts better than I give him credit for. My heart swells with love for this male who keeps challenging and surprising me.

I go to bypass the line and I catch a snippet of his conversation with the boy manning the cash register. On the counter lay piles of makeup, from eyeshadow palettes to colorful eyeliner.

"A good choice!" the cashier exclaims, holding a dark lipstick, "it has the best matte finish. It even passes the kiss test!"

I swear I can see him wiggle his perfectly defined eyebrows. The smile he gives Cardan is wicked—the same kind of grin my husband gives me over dinner then he's feeling particularly hungry.

"The kiss test?" my husband asks, a grin forming on his sinful lips.

"Yeah," the cashier replies, "you can make out with someone, it won't budge. Or transfer."

I get to Cardan’s side and the cashier notices me then. His brows raise in surprise for a moment before he schools his features into a socially acceptable customer service smile.

I can't blame him for his surprise—Cardan and I could not look any more mismatched. His sharp features are accentuated with contouring and a lighter version of his usual silver highlighter. I, on the other hand, barely had time to brush my hair before putting on an oversized hoodie and leggings. I bet I look like someone he took pity on and brought to the mall for a makeover.

"Where is the fun in that?" Cardan looks at me then, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. "Still, I suppose I will have to try."

I roll my eyes and he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

The cashier tells Cardan the total, and he raises a brow when my husband starts counting cash. I know other humans use cards nowadays, but without a permanent address in the Mortal Realm, we have been dealing exclusively in cash—mostly given by Vivi in exchange for Elfhame goods.

The boy thanks Cardan for his purchase, and it's all I can do not to laugh when he replies "you're very welcome", like that is a normal thing to say to a retail employee.

On our way out, Cardan stops by one of the many mirrors in the store and applies his new lipstick, ending with a pop of his luscious lips.

"Really? You couldn't wait until we got back to the hotel?"

I smile teasingly at him, and he grins back. The lipstick is deep, dark purple.

"If I did, nobody would see it but you." He slides an arm around my waist and winks. "That would be a shame, when it looks so good."

I roll my eyes and slip out of his embrace, making towards the exit. When my back is turned to him, I allow myself a smile. It does look good, I think, though I won't give him the satisfaction of saying it aloud.

"Jude, wait—"

With those long legs of his, Cardan catches up to me quickly. He puts a hand on my shoulder and spins me around to face him. I lift my chin to look at him, and his expression sends a chill down my spine. This face used to send unwanted images of our younger days to my brain—Cardan spitting on my shoes, pulling my hair, kicking my lunchbox. Nowadays, this wickedness sends my blood rushing south and fills me with memories of his clever fingers and his face between my legs.

"I was not done," he says as he circles my waist again, pulling me towards him sternly. "I have to debunk the claims the boy made."

"Fine," I say, and peck him quickly on the lips.

He chuckles. "You know that won't do, Jude dearest."

Cardan leans towards me. Instinctively, I part my lips and close my eyes. Even after all this time, I hate that he has this effect on me, even though I know it's not fair. I have spent my whole life training with a blade while he spent his training his mind and body to seduce and manipulate.

His lips claim mine and I all but melt into him. I forget where we are, how utterly exposed we are to the judgement of others. I seek out his tongue with mine and bite his lip the way he likes.

Cardan pulls away and I chase after his lips, desperate for more, until I feel his mouth on my neck. Slender fingers grip my chin, angling my head to allow him access.

I open my eyes and finally remember myself, where we are and how inappropriate this is—

"Cardan!"

He hums in question as his cruel mouth continues kissing its way up to my ear. His hand moves back towards my nape and tangles in my hair, pulling lightly.

"We're in—you can't just do that! People are—"

I look around, mortified. The mall is not that crowded, but I see people looking abruptly away when I look in their direction. A mother covers her child's eyes as she notices us. An old lady sneers.

I feel Cardan grin against my skin before dragging his teeth up my ear to nibble at the curved cartilage.

I give a small shove to his chest and he pulls away with a chuckle that curls my toes.

"You're shameless," I say.

"You look like you drank an entire bottle of faerie wine," he replies, then gives a quick kiss to my heating cheek.

When he pulls back, he inspects my face with narrowed eyes, then my neck. He lets out an impressed hum.

"It seems he was right. No marks."

I laugh and his eyes light up, a genuine smile forming on his dark lips.

"Will you buy more, then?" I ask.

"No. I prefer when it leaves marks."