#so much time sleeping little stressed and doing nothing but studying makes me a little insane but sighs

[gatual]

today is my last exam and after it I'll buy an ice cream and I'm so excited for that to happen oml😵‍💫🍨💞

[sleekista]

you don’t have to be perfect

barça fem x teen!reader, lucy bronze x teen!reader

request: here

A/N: also i would just like to say, if anyone has any feedback for my writing it’s greatly appreciated cuz i’m not the best writer ik that but i want to improve.

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It was apart of the contract I first signed with Barcelona that I continue my studies and finish school. Not ideal, but I get by with around 80% and sitting on a B for most my classes. What I didn’t factor in was the amount of stress I would have on top of the League and UWCL games when exams and assignments from 6 different classes were coming up. That’s hard on a 17 year old.

I felt myself start to drift away from everyone in the 2 weeks before mayhem. First it was denying to go out with the younger girls like Salma and Vicky, both of whom understood. Vicky being the same age as me and Salma only 2 years older than us. Then as expectations rose, classes became longer and filled extra information. All the time I wasn't on the pitch, I was studying. Or sleeping. (we dont talk about how even thats being cut down to maximum 5 hours a night).

Living with Lucy meant that she was bound to catch on to what was happening. It was inevitable. She took me under her wing when I first arrived along with some of the older girls and since I don’t speak Spanish natively, I was told to go with Lucy who was told to keep an eye on me. It’s nice, when you don’t want her to worry about how you’re ignoring everyone and have bags under your eyes whenever she sees you. She really does try her hardest to get me to do anything that’s not over analysing and over-studying the numerous topics, but no matter how much it pains me. I always turn her down.

After another night of studying until 2am, there’s an early morning training session and I know I’ve only gotten 4 hours of sleep. If I told the medical staff I’m sure they’d pale.

I’m aware that I probably look like death walking, but it doesn’t bother me. If I pass with above average grades, I’m happy and I know my actual parents will be too. I ignore the concerned looks that Irene and Alexia give Lucy, and get changed ready for the training session.

It’s gruelling, the lack of sleep from the past 2 weeks has finally started to catch up. When I least needed it to. Maybe I am working too hard. It’s too late for that though. I know I’m being watched by the captains, acting for a little bit longer won’t do much harm. Can it?

When the third water break rolls around, I sit on the floor and flop onto my back, closing my eyes. Too tired in the moment to do anything other than breathe. The sunshine above me dulls as Lucy and Alexia stare down at me. When I open my eyes. My captain has a raised brow, while my roommate has her arms crossed.

“Y/N, get up please. Now.” It’s Lucy who speaks first. I don’t give in. What’s their problem?

“No. I am fine where I am thank you very much.” I bite back. Lucy looks like she’s trying to hold herself together and Alexia looks furious. Unconsciously, I sink into myself hoping the ground could swallow me up.

“Nena, we won’t ask again.” The spaniard says, her voice low as she sticks out her hand.

I reluctantly take it, pulling myself up and staring at the two in front of me.

“Come.” Alexia says blankly, leaving no room for argument before walking toward the main building. I sigh, doing as she says or I know I won’t hear the end of it. Lucy trails just behind me, her jaw set and making sure I don’t run away.

When inside I’m placed on a couch, wishing and praying to any extra-terrestrial being that I can leave this confrontation. What is it even about? Why am I here? I’ve done nothing wrong.

“So, we noticed you’ve been pushing people out. You also look dead.” Classic Alexia, straight to the point.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I look away.

“Really? Because when I go to bed, which is around midnight and sometimes 1 if I’m doing other work. Your light is always on. You better fess up now before we make you do extra laps, and clear all the equipment from training.” It’s Lucy this time, starring daggers into me. Still, I don’t let up.

“Maybe I left the light on.” I shrug. “And why do we have to do this right now? I have 2 exams tomorrow. So, if I may. Let’s finish training so I can get to study and do other things.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about Y/N. You’re deflecting absolutely everything we say. You’re not taking the information in. I get you’re stressed but that doesn’t mean you isolate yourself.” She pauses, sighing deeply. “We are going home right now. You will not touch your school work, this has gone on for long enough. I know Alexia agrees with me.”

“Before you argue, just think. Is this really the best way I could’ve prepared? Yes nail in, do the study for good results. But also remember to utilise the support system you have, the team, the coaches, take a break.” By the end of the rant I feel tears well in my eyes. I feel someone hug me and I can tell who it is by the obscurely large hands.

“Nena, go home with Lucy. Get some rest, and not only will you feel better but it gives your brain a break. When the week is over we can talk more but for now go.” The Catalan smiles warmly. I nod my head saying thanks before walking with Lucy to the car.

“Do you feel alright? You do look very pale.” She places her hands against my face and frowns. “No temperature. I’ll get some food into you and we’ll have a rest day. Just us.” I nod slowly staring out of the window as my mind races.

When we get to the apartment, no conversation is made and I immediately go and take a shower. It’s there that I cry and let all my frustrations out, the stress finally taking its toll on my mind.

When I’m dressed and ready I walk out to the smell of pancakes and Lucy sitting on the couch with Narla next to her. She hears me and turns her head around, eyebrows furrowing at the state I’m in.

She pats the open spot next to her which isn’t taken by the Westie and hands me a plate, which I accept gratefully.

It’s a comfortable silence, but I know she’s waiting for me to say anything. And this time, I do.

“I��m sorry Luce.” My voice is quiet and more high pitched compared to what it normally sounds like.

She smiles lightly.

“Hey, these things happen. You’re smart, just as Alexia said give your mind a rest and you’ll do better. Myself, Keira, the rest of the team only want the best for you and your well-being. Let’s not talk about this now, take it step by step. You’ll be ok.” I nod wiping freshly formed tears as she pulls me into a big hug, giving the rest of her pancake to Narla who eats it happily.

- - - - -

And ok it would be. I end up playing Fifa with Lucy the rest of the day before eventually falling asleep against her. As for the exams, I pass by with good grades and after everything’s done the team takes me out to a restaurant to celebrate. As much as I deny it, this team is the most important thing to me. I love and adore them all so much.

[norizz-nation]

Hi, it’s me again

Sooo i liked the part 2…to max x Horners daughter ..

So here’s an idea to spark up your imagination

So you didn’t talk w your father after he caught you, but you were still invited for Christmas.

There it’s kinda awkward, but you have a lot of fun, Max gets heart to heart with your father promising him that you’ll be always loved,( n asking him if he can marry you) and when everyone was kinda done giving gifts, max n u slipped out to cuddle on the couch. Sleeping there peacefully as Max is clinging onto you. As you’re both passed out on the big couch, both parents stand still looking at y’all, mama admires, papa stares in realisation that you actually love each other.

And then he tears up.

Fuck , this is too sweet for me, maybe cause I’m half in of my all nighter studying and still haven’t done anything, I had like a red bull n 2shots of coffee, I’m shaking.

Sending 💗

Thank you so much, love! 🥹 Also its a little bit different but i hope you like it ❤️

Click here to read part 3 sweethearts!

All his 💛 (Part 4)

Summary: things had to change and be better since it’s the most wonderful time of the year

"I don't think he will understand" you said quitely as you looked at the reflection of your dress in the bathroom mirror in front of you. Max pulled your dress zip up in the back and looked at your reflection. "Of course he will, baby" he said as he placed a soft kiss on the side of your neck. You just let out a deep sigh and shook your head. “He won’t…” you said as you turned around to face him. You looked up at him trying to collect all your words. Max then caressed your cheek and brushed your jaw with his thumb. “It has been a month since he hasn’t talked with me. Not even a single text from him. Seeing him tonight is gonna kill me. I can’t take this any-” you got cut off by max as his lips met yours.

His touch always comforted you. No matter how hard things were, he would always make things better for you. Even in an apocalypse if you could just hold his hand, it would soothe your heart. He’s everything you ever wanted. Ever needed.

“Shh baby, please don’t stress about it. I’m gonna fix it. Everything will be fine. I love you” he said after pulling away from the kiss. You just nodded your head saying nothing. But somehow his words gave you hope. Max then pulled you in for a hug as he brushed your hair softly. “I love you too, max” you said as you let out a deep breath.

The whole time you’re in the car, you stayed silent. You just looked at the window and your mind wandered in your thoughts. Sometimes it makes you wonder what made max love you so much. What did he see in you? Maybe you’ll never know.

But, what you also don’t know is that he wants to marry you. Start a family with you. Have kids. Get a pet dog and a cat. Be a good husband for you. Be a great dad. You didn’t know all that.

“My love, it’s gonna be alright” max said as he rested his hand on your thigh and you looked at him, smiling softly. “Yeah… hope so” you said hoping for the best to happen.

“Fuck, it’s killing me” you said as you stood in front of the main door. Max wrapped his arms around your waist and squeezed it lightly and kissed your head. “Just relax, baby” he said as he rang the bell. Your mother, Geri opened the door and smiled big at you two. “Oh finally you two are here! Merry Christmas!” she said sounding relieved as she leaned in to hug you. “Merry Christmas mum. I missed you so much!” you said as you hugged her tightly, almost breaking into tears. “I missed you more darling” she said as she kissed your cheek.

“Max, don’t just stand there. Come here!” she said as he called him for a hug. “Merry Christmas, geri” he said, smiling at her. “Merry Christmas, max. How are you?” your mother, geri asked. “Great, doing good” he said and you looked at her. “Mum?” you called out. Geri then turned around and looked at you. “What is it darling?” she asked. “How’s dad doing? Is he alright?” you asked her as tears started forming in your eyes. You sniffled a little as you looked at her. “Oh honey, he’s okay. He just needed a little time, I guess” she said as she hugged you again.

The whole evening went well. House filled with your uncles, aunts, cousins and so many closed ones. It felt so nice to be around them.

Most of your relatives left and your mum told you to help her in the kitchen. But, you couldn’t focus on your work since your eyes were glued to max’s way. Well, max and your dad’s way. They were talking about something but all you could hear was whispers that are not understandable. “So you really like that boy, huh?” your mum, geri asked as you flinched and looked at her. “What?” you asked confusingly. Your mum smiled softly and looked at max. “That boy. Max. You really like him?” she asked, chuckling a little. You couldn’t find your words as you stayed silent for a while. “I mean, he’s always been there for me. He’s so kind and funny” you said as geri chuckled again. “And he’s someone I always wanted” you finished and looked at your mum. “I really like him, mum” you said softly. Your mum, geri then smiled and started to tear up a little as she pulled you in for a hug.

“Y/n, really loves you two” max said as he looked at you and your mum from the couch. Your father, Christian looked at max confusingly then looked at you and your mum’s direction and his gaze became soft. “Yeah… she does” he said as he sounded upset. “Christian, I know you love your daughter a lot. But, the way you’re reacting is not acceptable. We’re not teenagers. We know what’s right and what’s wrong. I love her so much. She’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met. I’m gonna keep her happy forever. Please just talk to her. She misses you a lot” he said as Christian’s eyes softened.

Your father, Christian didn’t realize that this would hurt you so much. It broke his heart. He can’t do this to his little girl.

“And, I really want to marry her” max said as your father looked at him with shock in his face. “Max, what?” he asked, still not being able to process to what he just said. Max nodded and looked down on the ground as he continued, “Yeah, I do. She’s the only one for me. I haven’t asked her yet because i wanted to ask you first. So Christian, can I please marry your daughter? I’ll always love her. I’m gonna love her till my last breath” max said looking up at him as he started to become emotional.

The expression plastered on your father’s face was something max can never forget. The way he was so happy that he really loves his daughter but also the fact that his little girl is going to leave him and geri made him upset.

Nervousness rushed through your body when you saw max and your father talk this intensely. You don’t know why but this situation was killing you. What if it’s not gonna turn out right? What if your father never understands?

What if… what if… what if…

“What did he say?” you asked max as you sat beside him when your father left. Max then chuckled and shook his head. “No, nothing” he said as you got frustrated. “What? No, max tell me!” you insisted but max just didn’t tell you anything. “Is he okay with it tho?” you asked again, just to make sure your father isn’t mad at you anymore. “Yes baby, he is” he assured you and you finally felt relieved.

But, yet he wasn’t talking with you. At all. This was making you overthink more. You couldn’t stop stressing about it the whole time.

“Oh, I’m so tired” max said as he lied down on the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chest. You then brushed his hair with your fingers and tugged on it gently to relax him and he groaned in pleasure. “Get some sleep. It was a long day” you said as you kissed his forehead. Max then pulled you closer by your waist and hugged you from behind, snuggling his nose in your shoulder as he kissed it softly. “I love you, y/n” he said as he cuddled you and you smiled at him. “I love you too” you said as he caressed his face.

You don’t remember when you fell asleep but right now you and max both are asleep. Your mum, geri did all her works and got herself a glass of wine and another for Christian. “Thank you” your dad said as he smiled at your mum. “Come here!” your mum excitingly said as Christian got curious and followed her.

Christian’s eyes were softened when he saw you two so comfortable and so in love. That is when he realized that he was wrong this whole time. His girl never made the wrong decision. He couldn’t help but tear up when he realized all that. Your mum admired you two and hugged your dad, comforting him.

The daylight bothered you as you turned around and snuggled your face in max’s chest. After snuggling with him for a little while, you were finally awoken and got up and made coffee for yourself. You took a deep breath and looked down at the mug you’re holding as you started to think about last night.

If he isn’t mad at me anymore then why didn’t he talk to me? Should I go first? Was dad lying to him?

Your mind wandered around as you went to your pocket to get your phone but instead felt something else. It was a paper. You furrowed your brows and got it out. It was a letter. Who put it here?

I don’t know why this is very difficult for me. I feel like I can never say all these in person. Because it will sound very stupid. I still think you’re my little girl. But, I guess I just couldn’t accept the reality. I couldn’t accept the fact that you’re not a kid anymore. You’re growing. You’re changing. If you want me to be honest. I don’t want that. I still miss coloring and drawing with you in the yard. Watching late night movies. Going to the beach with your little elephant you always said was your best friend. I miss all that. But it’s gonna make me look very selfish if I want things to stay like that. I just didn’t want my girl to drift away from me. I hated this change. But, I guess you found someone who can really love you more than I could ever. I know Max for a long while now. I know he’s a good guy. Maybe, I just couldn’t accept it. Although I hate changes but keep on changing honey and learn the best from everything. When you’re reading this, I won’t be home because I have got an emergency meeting to attend and I told your mum not to tell you about it. You can never ever disappoint me. You’re always my precious daughter who makes me proud all the time. I love you.

-Dad

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

Tagging: @golden-flora @crlsummer @lichterfee @charmisticdisappointment @chrisdr3 @i-wish-this-was-me @sav-f1-girl @woweewoowa @f1driverszona

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

You up? (baby daddy AU: College days prequels)

Baby Daddy Masterlist

Context: this is Post break up.

Word count: 400

Not proofread

—

12:35 pm.

Fourteen month old Gabri is sleeping peacefully in her crib, the room consumed in darkness with exception to the light glow from your laptop. Tired fingers idly typing out yet another senior paper, trying to not type too loudly since she is such a light sleeper. With your phone turned on silent mode, you didn’t even noticed you got a new message till you checked the time.

Miguel 🫤: You up?

Oh god. You bite your lip as you stare at the message. I shouldn’t respond, I’m just gonna end up in his car and either we end up making out and arguing. You thought as you placed your phone face down, shifting your attention back to your laptop…

For only about five seconds until you reached for your phone again and opened the message.

You: I’m doing homework.

You: why?

You didn’t even have a chance to put your phone back down before the screen lit up again.

Miguel🫤: Miss you.

You: Gabriella’s asleep.

Despite your front of resistance at the idea, you have to admit it was hard for you to say no. It was always hard to say that to him. The break up was bad, messy, the only reason you haven’t blocked his number and never show your face around him was because of your daughter.

But… You missed him.

You missed the sharing of a bed with your little bundle of joy tucked between you two. You missed baking cookies at three in the morning when you were supposed to be pulling an all nighter studying. Missed being invited to the same group hang out without the other being excluded, and the way Mj and Peter would coo and all but steal Gabriella away from you both the entire time. Missed the tender kiss, and the whispered sweet nothings, the ‘I love you’s…

Now, everything is different, just you and Gabriella in your old childhood room a few streets away from your old apartment where your ex boyfriend is.

So like always, like every other time he called… you came.

“Hey mom, dad…is it okay if you can watch Gabriella for a bit? I-I know it’s late but Mj and Peter got into a fight and-“

God you hated lying to them.

“Of course honey, go go. I’ll turn on the baby monitor.” Your dad assured you as he got up and out of bed, giving you a kiss on the forehead as he walked past you and back into your room.

You hated how trusting they were of you.

“Thanks, I’ll be back soon.”

You hated how you still craved Miguel so much despite it all.

—

“Hey…”

“Hey.”

You hated the nerves you always got appearing on your his doorstep.

“You gonna come in or just stare at me?” The way his head tilted when he teased you, how you saw the glimmer in his eyes when he looked at you still…

You made sure to lock the door behind you.

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

taglist: @famouscattale @strawberryjuice9 @loser-alert @maomaimao @franceseca-the-1st @mcmiracles @mangoslushcrush

@queerponcho @yournextbimbogf @tinybirdhideout @reader-1290 @laysmt @migueloharasoulmate @fruityfucker @pigeonmama @scaryplanetdestroyer @migueloharastruelove

@krentkova19 @genny1019 @maiyart @stressed-cherry @haveclayeveryday @leonsbimbogf @bmoplanet @carmison @c4rm1son :

@scaleniusrm @ginnysculture @mishaglass @wusyanmee @bunnibitez @miguelzslvtz @dahehow @sinners-98-world @othersideoftheparadise @toyfortoji @yeshajane @yvesbi @hanjisgf @deljojeisbackagain @safixiovi @emmalandry

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[jenosbliss]

pairing. gn!reader x jeno | genre. fluff | wc. 0.4k | warnings. reader goes through a breakdown, academic stress

The hallway window leading to your bedroom reflected a blurred image of yours. Even though the image appeared bleary, the slump of your shoulders, the dark circles under your eyes, and the wild mess of hair escaping your usual bun spoke volumes of your exhaustion.

With a heavy sigh, you shuffled towards your room, this wasn’t new. Semester end had always been exhausting, the relentless cycle of assignments, deadlines, and exams was draining. You just probably needed a good cry and sleep to prepare yourself for tomorrow’s struggles and stress.

Entering the room, you were greeted with a “Hii baby” from your boyfriend sitting on the shared bed. Jeno’s eyes formed small moons as a sweet smile played on his lips which faded the moment he saw your weary state.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” His smile gave way to concern. “So much… I’m tired,” you said, dropping your bag near the desk. “Come here, love". You turned around to see his arms wide open.

Tiredly you walked toward him, sitting next to him as he wrapped his arms around you, soothingly patting your back. "What's troubling you?" he asked, as you shifted closer to him, hugging him back.

Jeno could probably never understand how much you needed this hug right now, he felt like home, and the warmth from this hug made all your worries disappear for the time being. You didn't want to come out of his embrace wishing to stay here forever as if he'd protect you from everything and everyone.

Tears filled your eyes; the day was exhausting enough and now this closeness overwhelmed you. Noticing your distress, Jeno tenderly held your face, his gaze filled with concern.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you admitted, leaning into his touch. “Each day feels harder…” Your voice faltered, tears streaming down. Jeno knowing not to interrupt just leaned in and kissed away your tears, a hand rubbing the back of your head slowly.

“As if all this end sem and exam stress wasn’t enough, my English professor misplaced my portfolio and is asking me to submit it again.”  you sobbed, gripping his sweatshirt. “It’s not even my fault! She knows I submitted it, but somehow it vanished… I spend hours searching it everywhere but…”

Jeno gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb wiping the tears off your cheeks. It hurt him to see you so broken, he knew it was temporary academic stress and everything would be fine after a week but right now he couldn’t do anything except watch you cry while sitting there helpless wiping your tears.

“I’m not even getting proper sleep, my head hurts all the time, I feel dizzy, and it feels like no one gets it., I hate it… I just want to give up.” Your shoulders slumped as your head fell on his shoulders. Your cries turn into muffles. Both of you stayed like for a few minutes, while you cried on his shoulder, he just rubbed your back calmly.

“Y/n, baby hear me out.” Reluctantly you moved your head and looked up at his direction. “How about we look for your portfolio together on Monday? I’m sure it must be somewhere in her cabin and if not, I’ll help you write it.” He smiled raising his eyebrows. “But our handw-” placing a finger on your lips he continued “Don’t worry I’ve got that covered.” he teased, bringing a smile to your face.

He felt a little peace seeing your smile “And I’m turning off all the alarms for tomorrow. No getting up at 4 and studying, okay?” You were about to protest but he just continued “Nope, no excuses. Sleep in till you wake up fully fresh. You need rest baby also I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow so no getting up early.”

“Fine… but I want waffles.” Knowing that you couldn’t win against him and that what he said was correct you gave in. Smiling he pressed a lasting kiss on your forehead mumbling “I love you” before kissing you on the lips. “Love you too.”

The stress of academia was nothing new, breakdowns like these were frequent for you, crying yourself to sleep and preparing yourself to survive another day was like an everyday story until now.

What changed now was that you can lean on someone while you cried, someone to rub your back, someone to hold, someone to share your problems, someone who maybe doesn’t relate but understands you, someone to make sure that you sleep peacefully before going to bed himself, someone who’s just not someone, but Jeno.

a/n. had this idea two weeks ago when i went through a similar situation but didn’t have someone like jeno :’)

navigtion.

masterlist. dream | 127 | wayv

[emmyspov]

Prioritise yourself (Thranduil x Reader)

author's note: happy easter to everyone who celebrates it and a happy weekend to all either way🪻this is honestly one of the most scary things i've posted because it's something so personal that i relate to a lot, but i thought maybe someone else might need it, too🥺 please always remember that nothing will ever be more important than your health and well-being 🩷

warnings: symptoms of burnout, lack of sleep, exhaustion, negative self-talk, skipping meals, mentions of food, nudity (for taking a bath together) - please please please let me know if I forgot something! 🩷

word count: 1.9k

edit is mine, all pics are from pinterest :)

It had seemed like a smart idea when you offered Thranduil to help him with all the paperwork.

His days were filled with meetings and more often than not he only returned to your chambers once it was dark already.

So, for the past few months, you had been - more or less secretly - helping him with whatever you could: sending out invitations to other royals, filing away documents, re-writing contracts so all that would be left to do was sign them.

You were the king's partner after all and you wanted to help him as much as possible. This was your kingdom, your home, as much as it was his, as he regularly reminded you.

Thranduil noticed, obviously. The hours in his study were reduced since most things were taken care of in a perfect way already - he could return to your private rooms right after dinner and spend time with you instead which the Elvenking appreciated immensely.

However, over the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. And Thranduil noticed that, too.

How, on some days, you would get up earlier than him, how you would skip lunch and dinner with him - although it was one of your favorite things since you got to spend it with one another during your otherwise busy schedules - and instead eat by yourself, hunched over some papers. He noticed your tired eyes and dull skin and- lack happiness, to cut it short.

Worry didn't even remotely describe what he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about you being unhappy.

Today was no different.

You had gotten up before sunrise, leaving your husband a little love letter, before entering your own study to take care of all official things.

There was a lot to do. Other elves as much as people from Laketown and even dwarves were sending letters, hoping to schedule a meeting with the king himself to talk over whatever was bothering them.

You made it your mission to answer every single one of them, noting down appointments and also sending out excuses if Thranduil wasn't the right one to talk to when it came to certain matters.

By the end of the day, your head was pounding. You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, hoping to relieve some of the pressure behind them, but to no use.

Closing them for only a minute wouldn't hurt. You could still look for your husband afterwards.

A line had been crossed for the Elvenking.

It was the second day in a row that you skipped your shared meals and from what he just learned, you weren't eating them at all.

He needed to talk to you. He wouldn’t - and couldn’t - let you destroy yourself over some work. Your happiness and well being came first and he would make you realise that, no matter the cost.

After reaching your study and receiving no answer to his knocks, he let himself in with determined steps, only to stop abruptly as soon as he saw your sleeping figure. His eyes softened immediately.

"Oh, meleth."

With two big steps, he was by your side, crouching down until he was on eye level with you. Even in your sleep, you looked stressed, your eyebrows scrunched up, reminding him of the times you woke up from a bad dream.

"What are you doing to yourself, hm?"

Gentle, as if you would break like glass if he touched you with too much force, he picked you up and carried you out of the room and into your shared bed chamber where he set you down on the soft mattress and covered you with a fluffy blanket.

Thranduil left the room again for only a few moments so he could blow out the candle in your study and put everything where it belonged. He himself hated to work at a messy desk and didn't want you to deal with the same thing once you would return to work, although he didn't want to think about that yet. For now, you needed rest and all the love and care you could get.

He returned to your bedroom after he spoke to some of his subordinates to let them know neither he nor you would be available in the next three days.

You were still fast asleep, curled up into the blanket. The king walked over to you and slowly began to remove all your uncomfortable clothing before he himself put on a night gown.

Only then did he lay down next to you, carefully maneuvering your body into his arms, your head on his chest. Even in your sleep you wrapped your arm around his waist and entangled your legs, letting out a small sigh.

"Sleep, meleth, you've been working too hard", your husband whispered and brought his delicate fingertips up to brush some hair out of your face before letting them trail down to your back, rubbing some calming circles into your shoulder. "I'll watch over you, I promise."

And Thranduil kept his word.

He stayed up to make sure you slept through the night, occasionally pressing a kiss to your temple or the top of your head while his fingers were always touching you in some way.

It was nearly lunch time when you woke up the next day.

After noticing you were still cuddled up with your husband although the sun was already shining into the room, you immediately sat up.

"I- I overslept, oh Varda, there is so much to do. Why didn’t you wake me, my love?"

With a gentle force, Thranduil pressed you back onto the mattress.

"You've been overworking yourself for weeks and your health and happiness are suffering in return. I told everyone we wouldn't be available for the next few days. For the foreseeable future, we'll only take care of you."

You didn't want to cry. And you tried really hard to keep the tears at bay, but when the Elvenking looked at you with so much love in his eyes, you couldn’t stop them.

"I'm sorry for failing you, my king."

The elf wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. "Oh meleth, no. No, you didn't fail me, you never have. And you never will."

"I can't even take care of myself", you hiccuped, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "It's like the work and the pressure never stop and I'll never be good enough and now I am sitting here, crying to you, a literal king who has way more responsibility than me. I am so sorry to burden you with this."

Thranduil's heart was breaking. He couldn't believe this was how you saw yourself when, to him, you were the most beautiful being in all of Middle Earth.

"You are never a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never. We can fix this. You have to learn how to prioritise yourself. I can teach you. I will teach you. And we will start right now. You must be hungry, what do you want to eat?"

You fumbled around with your hands before looking up at the Elvenking. "Could I have some pancakes?"

Thranduil leaned forward to press a kiss against your nose. "Whatever you want, meleth nîn."

With one swift motion, he got up, put on one of his majestic robes and made his way to the kitchen to order your beloved pancakes and some additional treats as well as some hot and cold beverages.

He returned to your chambers with a first tray of food, watching your face lit up with delight at the sweet smell.

"Here you go, my love. Eat as much as you want and take all the time you need. There are no other things that need to get done today or the next few days."

You nodded and grabbed a plate, happily munching on the food the servants were bringing in over time.

The king was watching you carefully while he himself ate something. It was more than obvious that all the food was good for your mind, body and soul.

You let yourself fall back against the sheets when you were done, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That was good."

"It is about to get better. What do you think of a bath?"

Your eyes lit up. "Right now?"

The elf couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Is that what you want?"

You sat up, enthusiastically bouncing on the mattress and nodding your head. "Yes, please!"

Thranduil stood up again and walked into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and your favourite bath salts and flower petals before coming back to you.

With ease, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the bed, carrying you into the bathroom.

"Arms up", he ordered gently and removed your clothing, doing the same to himself afterwards.

"You're so handsome", you breathed out as you softly pressed your hand against his chest, right above his heart. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Thranduil's heart started to beat faster under your touch and praise and you smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at the fact that you still had this effect on him.

He lifted you into the tub, setting you down and lowering himself behind you, pulling your body flush against his chest.

"I'm the lucky one."

You shook your head before letting it fall back against his shoulder. "You take care of me when I can't do it myself."

The king's deft fingers brushed through your hair, letting them trail down your arm. "We take care of each other. You are the one who decreased my work load so I'd have more time."

You intertwined your hands. "Well, of course. I want you to be well."

A kiss was pressed against the top of your head. "Do you see my point?"

You nodded. "I think I do."

Thranduil let his thumb brush over the back of your hand. "Tomorrow, we can take a walk in the garden and look at all the blossoming flowers. Or we can do whatever else will make you happy."

A smile graced your lips. "Just being with you makes me happy."

Gently, the ellon grabbed your chin and turned your head around so he could kiss you. You melted into his embrace, smiling against his lips.

"Gi melin", he whispered after you two had parted for air and you replied with the same sentiment.

Once you two had soaked in the water for a while, the Elvenking grabbed your shampoo and lathered up his hands before bringing them up to your scalp to work in the product.

The more time you spend like this with your husband - in your little bubble of happiness and safety - the lighter your heart felt.

And it only got better when Thranduil's hands wandered down your head to your neck and shoulders, massaging your tense muscles to help you relax even further.

You shuddered and the king grinned to himself. He was just as pleased as you were earlier that his touch could, still, make you weak in the knees.

"Rest, meleth", he whispered as he continued to work on your upper back. "There will be time to talk about long-term adjustments and solutions, but for now, you can let yourself fall. I'll be there to catch you."

Everything-Taglist: @shadowhuntyi @asgardianhobbit98 @fizzyxcustard

-> if you want to be added or removed from my taglist, just shoot me a message or an ask 🩷

[cb97breathing]

MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL

Pairing: Bang Chan x Afab! Plus Size Reader

Theme: Fluff, Smut, Friends To Lovers. Story is 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 2K

A/N: Please do not repost or translate my work! Let me know if you wish to be on the tagged list.

Ever since you were young, you were always a bit bigger than most of the girls. You had curves, you were thick and you got teased constantly for it. Gaining weight had always been a problem for you and you tried hard to not gain anything, but stress and medical conditions were not making it easy. Because of the teasing, and how hard your mother was always on you about your appearance and weight, your insecurity and negative views of yourself were always at an all time high.

Your friends would always try and tell you that you were beautiful and that there was nothing wrong with you but you never believed them. All the insults you had been told over the years were embedded in your brain. You never took compliments well. Never believed that anyone would be remotely interested in you or find you beautiful. But there was always someone you secretly hope did.

You had been in love with Chan ever since you were in high school. Felix was your best friend and introduced him to you, wanting you to have more people in your life. Suddenly you went to from having one friend, to having eight. The boys always treated you well, protected you from bullies and did their best to keep you smiling. You don't know how you ended up falling for Chan, maybe it was his kindness, maybe it was the way his dimples came out when he smiled. Or the little squeak that left his plump lips when he laughs hard.

But you were hopelessly in love with him, and no one knew except Felix. No matter how many times he told you to open up to Chan, you'd immediately decline and tell him how you weren't worthy of him and how he'd never want you back. He deserved someone as pretty and perfect as him, and you weren't. You weren't anything close to it.

You all went to college together and while everyone else got in relationships, you focused on your studies and tried to not show how much your heart shattered every time a girl flirted with the dimpled boy you loved so much. It was only a matter of time before he got a girlfriend himself and you knew that day was going to be a day that ruined you.

So you began to start distancing yourself from him. You didn't hang out with the group as much as you used to, using your studying as an excuse. You didn't spend the night at his and Felix's apartment either, like you always did when you spent time with them. No more texting til three in the morning when you both couldn't sleep. You did your best, even though Chan made it hard. He always called out for you, tried to corner you. But you would narrowly escape when a girl would call out to him.

You did this for about a month and when the guys demanded an explanation you just kept lying that you needed to keep studying. None of the guys bought it, especially Felix. Felix eventually coaxed it out of you and he was pissed, but even so he kept his lips sealed for you. Because he himself knew how it felt to believe you weren’t good enough.

A few days later Felix had asked you to stay over, saying that Chan was going to be gone for the weekend so it would be just the two of them. You reluctantly agreed to go. But when you arrived there was no Felix to be found when you entered the apartment with your spare key. You texted him and called him and he didn’t respond. You started to get worried that something happened.

“What are you doing here?” Your heart dropped to your stomach when you heard the voice of the man you had been hiding from. You turned to see him exiting the bathroom wearing only a pare of grey sweats. Your eyes widened and you turned away blushing deeply from the sight of his completely exposed upper half.

“Felix told me to come over. Said you were going to be gone for the weekend and he wanted company.” You said quietly.

“Felix told me he was staying with Changbin for the weekend.” Chan replied quietly. You winced and mentally cursed at Felix, realizing what his plan was.

“Oh, I guess he got confused then.” You breathed out. “I-I’ll just get going then. S-sorry.” You rushed to the door but soon felt a hand on your wrist.

“Don’t.” He whispered. “Why do you keep doing that? Why do you keep running away from me?” You froze and kept your back to him. Once again you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “Do you how much I missed you? Do you know how much it hurts me that you don’t come here anymore? We were inseparable and now you won’t even acknowledge me.” He choked out. “What did I do wrong?” You wanted so badly to tell him he did nothing. That it was all you and your stupid one sided crush on him that was causing this. But you couldn’t bring yourself.

“Please just let me go.” You whispered as tears threatened to spill from your cheeks.

“No.” He growled. He turned you around and pulled you close to him. “I am never letting you go.” He looked deep into your widened eyes as you struggled against his grip. “Stop running from me.” He pressed his forehead to yours and held you flush against him. “You still have no idea do you?” He breathed out.

“W-What?” You squeaked out, becoming more flustered by the second.

“That I love you too.” He whispered. “I fucking love you Y/n. Have since freshman year. I’ve always been in love with you.” You froze, your eyes blurred with tears as they poured down your cheeks and you shook your head.

“No. No. No you don’t. You can’t. I’m not good enough.” You whimpered out. “Just look at me. You deserve someone beautiful. Someone perfect.”

“Y/n, you are more than beautiful.” He breathed out. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I will prove that to you right now.” He pressed his lips against yours in a deep and passionate kiss. You froze as his plump lips pressed against yours. This was something you only ever dreamed about. You felt dazed, shocked, but eventually you melted into him and gave in to the kiss. Your hands gripped his upper arms gently as they wrapped around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. You whimpered as he slid his tongue into your mouth. You both continued to kiss each other with everything you had until you had to pull away for air.

The next few moments were a blur, but now you beneath him, completely naked and exposed. You covered your face in embarrassment as he took in your body. He spread your legs wide as he kissed all over your stomach and thighs. Nipping and marking them desperately.

“So fucking beautiful.” He breathed out. “And finally mine. You’re all mine.” He kissed up and took your nipple in his mouth. You whined at the feeling and arched into him. Your fingers tangled in his hair as your body trembled from excitement and need.

“C-Channie.” You whimpered as you pulled him up to kiss him feverishly. He laid flushed against you and rocked into you. His length rubbing against your hot and wet core. He nipped at your lips as his hand slipped between you. He slipped a finger inside you while his thumb brushed against your clit. You let out a soft cry and buried your face in his neck.

“Tell me what you want love. Tell me.” He whispered as he pumped his finger into you.

“You! Channie I need you.” You whimpered as you rocked your hips in need. He added a second finger and groaned at your words. Kissed down your body and took your clit into his mouth as his fingers pumped gently into you. Your moans filled the room as you gripped the sheets beneath you. Your back arched at the feeling of his tongue rubbing against your sensitive nub.

“God I wish you could see how hot you look right now.” He growled as he curled his fingers inside you. “You look so fucking perfect.” He watched you as you writhed and sobbed as you felt his fingers find a specific spot. “That’s it love, let those beautiful moans out.” Your legs started to shake and you panted. You rocked your hips desperately on his fingers and he almost came right then and there at the sight.

“That’s it love. Ride them.” He groaned out as he watched you. You cried softly as you continued to rock into his fingers desperately. He could feel you start to clench around him. Growling softly, he went down on you again and pumped his fingers into you rapidly earning a loud cry from you. Your eyes rolled back as you arched off the bed as you hit your peak. Your legs trembled as you fell limp against the mattress, whimpering and panting. Channie kissed up your body as he pulled his fingers out of you and nuzzled his face in your neck.

“I want you so bad.” He whimpered softly as he brushed the tip of his hardened member against your folds. “Please. Please say I can make you mine.” He begged. “Please.”

“Y-Yes.” You whimpered as you held him close. “Please I want to be yours.” He kissed your neck and began to slowly enter you. You whimpered and l clung to him.

“It’s okay love you’re doing so well.” He moaned out as he continued to slowly and gently push himself in. You cried out softly as you felt him push completely into you. Filling you completely and pushing deep into you. You shook beneath him as your arms and legs wrapped around him. “Fuck.” He whimpered softly and held you tight to him. Tears flew down your cheeks from the dull pain his member caused as he claimed you. His thumbs wiped them away gently. “Are you tokay? Do you want to stop?” He asked softly, his eyes filled with concern.

“No please.” You whimpered. “Want this. Want you.” He kissed you deeply and slowly pulled out before completely filling you up once more, making you whine at the feeling. He nipped at your swollen lips and nuzzled his face in your neck. His moans made your neck tingle as he slowly and gently rocked into you.

“So good.” He whimpered. “You feel so good.” His body laid flush against yours. The feeling of your bodies connected in every possible way made you both shake in delight. The pain was still there but the pleasure was slowly taking over you. You moaned out his name over and over as he whispered words of praise and love in your ear. He pulled away to look in between you both, watching his cock sink deep into your soaked pussy over and over.

“Taking me so well.” He groaned out. “Look baby, your pussy was made just for me and me alone.” You blushed deeply as you followed his gaze. The sight only made you shake and moan loudly. Chan spread your legs wide and pushed them up making it easier for him push deeper into you. The feeling made you cry out and your toes curl. His thrusts remained slow but now he was hitting you deep and hard. He was hitting spots made your entire body tremble as you became dazed and see stars.

“Oh god Chan please don’t stop!” You cried softly as you gripped his hands that were holding up your legs. He pulled you closer with a growl and began to slowly slam into you his eyes never leaving your face as he watched you lose control beneath him. The sight enough was making his cock throb, eager to fill you with his hot seed. Your body shook as the bed began to rock from his powerful thrusts and f you felt yourself getting close again. You clenched around him making such filthy and beautiful sounds leave his mouth as he continued to ram into you. He reached between you and began to rub your clit wildly making you scream out at then overwhelming sensation.

“Cum for me.” He growled. “Let go on my cock baby.” Your eyes rolled back and you screamed out his name over and over as you came undone around him. He followed not long after as he whimpered and rutted his hips into you violently as he filled you with his seed. He gently collapsed on top of you. His head laid against your chest as you both panted heavily. He did dare pull out. He didn’t want to. The feeling of being inside you was too addicting. “I love you so much y/n.” He whispered. You where so overwhelmed and dazed that all you could do was whimper in response. You both laid there for the majority, tangled in each other as you kissed and whispered soft proclamations of love to each other and when you felt like it was still a dream Chan reminded you by making love to you until the sun rose the next day.

if you're able to support me and my writing, you can buy me a coffee here :)

[gatitties]

Can we get a part 5 of the yandere platonic jjk series? It is one of the best yandere series I’ve read and I really hope you continue it! :)

The blank pages - Web of love

"The blank pages" are untold events in the parts of web of love, as well as some headcanons or small random scenarios.

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (Platonic)

─Summary: A little more about your life living with sorcerers and curses

─Warnings: stalking, obsession, toxic behaviors, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four

well, I don't know when I will write (if I do) the next part since it's one of the "minifanfics" that takes me the most time to write, but I can always write some headcanons or small scenarios like this :p

─ You are so fond of sorcerers that your nickname for the vast majority of them is scumbag <3, especially for Gojo, when you don't call him a poorly felled birch.

─ Once you asked Sukuna if he had gone to class with Jesus Christ, he didn't kill you on the spot because you were so tired that you seemed drugged and he felt sorry.

─ You will never admit that among all the crazy people Itadori is your favorite.

─ When Gojo wants to scold you for something, you simply apply the technique of turning up the volume to the maximum on your headphones while you nod.

─ Refusing to speak sometimes only made everyone learn your non-verbal language.

─ With each passing day you don't care if you are devoured by a curse just so you can rest in peace.

─ You once went on a solo mission (some mysterious way it happened), they almost wrapped you up like a mummy when they saw you arrive with some bruises and cuts.

─ Megumi comes to your side when he sees you nod off during the day so you can lean on his shoulder and sleep.

─ Many times you would like to punch everyone but they don't even deserve that much attention from you.

─ On a random day of the week you will be dragged by Nobara to have a sleepover, you don't complain much because you do nothing and get gossip.

─ One day you went to the Zenin clan house with Maki and you thought that you grew old during the time you spent there, for once you were glad that Maki didn't leave your side.

─ You are afraid of talking too much with Utahime because you think that if you do she will end up just as obsessed as the others, you don't want to break that feeling of talking to someone other than your family.

─ You discovered that the sorcerers entered your room at night but you decided not to confront them for the moment.

─ If Choso wasn't so overprotective and mother hen, you wouldn't mind if he treated you like a little sister.

─ He begins to silently threaten all the people who may be a potential partner for you (he threatened a cashier who told you that you looked pretty one day).

─ If you are with the villains you will say that you are part of the sorcerers' team and that you will fight against them until you die, if you are with the sorcerers, you will say the same but on the opposite side so as not to give them the benefit of knowing your thoughts.

─ Despite everyone, you have the right to go on the weekends you want to visit your family, although sometimes they will put obstacles in place so that you are delayed and miss the train.

─ Those days are your days of peace, you even decide to help at your parents' restaurant even though it is a stressful day, the pressure makes you put your feet back on the ground.

─ You submitted a letter of resignation to the studies because you thought you were qualified enough to return to your parents now that you know how to control your powers, Yaga tore the paper to pieces after you left.

─ You hope you trip and break your neck during some training, it's a shame that Panda and Toge will rush towards you even if you only stumble slightly.

─ Everyone prefers to blame someone else but you, even if you openly say that you are guilty of something, they will do mental exercise to prevent you from being guilty.

─ Sukuna is fighting to get you to join his side, whatever the reason, you will be a key piece in the outcome.

─ Of course, they don't want to get violent with you, the threats and beatings go to other people, for you they have manipulation.

─ Which you clearly detect, but you decide to play along for the moment, without knowing that you are getting more entangled in the web.

─ They probably know that you are acting but they don't care because they are getting the attention they want from you.

─ The situation is like a snake biting its tail, and you hope that when that snake dies from suffocation by its own body, you are not there.

[strawberryblue-blog]

Fermin: female reader x Fermin Lopez where they have been dating for a while but recently they had problems & have been having stupid fights. The reader has been stressed with school and him with pressure brought by his recognition in the first team. Maybe he’s acting weird & distant, which leads to a fight between them and them taking a break. Angst plot where the reader has an accident ( car accident or something smaller- up to you) and Fermin confirms how much he loves her and doesn’t want to loose her. Fluff ending where he takes care of her during her recovery.

Comeback to me —Fermin Lopez.

summary: read the request.

warnings: none. fights, bad words, car accident, injuries, etc. sad, angst, cute, fluff.

words: +4.5k

#SEXYNOTE: I apologize if there are errors. I use the translator since English is not my first language. I hope the person who asked for this enjoys it as much as i enjoy writing it.

Thanks for the support 🎀🪽

You sighed as you flipped through the channels on the television while holding the ice cream spoon to your mouth. At least ten minutes ago you were looking for something to watch on TV but couldn't find anything interesting.

Fermin was supposed to be here a while ago but there was no sign. You looked at your phone to see if he had left a message but nothing. You had prepared lunch and had had to eat after it was getting late, surely the training had been delayed. He hadn't seen your message and he wasn't answering your calls either so you were starting to worry.

You weren't going to go to sleep until he came back or at least you would hear from him. So you sat on the couch watching something with your bowl of ice cream. Your thoughts were scattered, you couldn't stop thinking if something had happened but you didn't want to think negative. Sometimes it was delayed because the coach gave them an extra talk or they missed their schedule and stayed in training.

You turned your phone back on and immediately sent a new message but still no news. You let out an exhausted sigh again, throwing the controller away from you and eating more of your ice cream.

You didn't want to bother him so much, you were having a hard time and bothering him was the last thing you wanted to do if he was out of the house. Lately you had been focused on your studies and had left his relationship a little bit but you tried to wait for him in the evenings, make food or clean the house so he wouldn't have to worry about everything after training. You had to admit that you felt your relationship was a bit distant these days, you hadn't even seen enough of each other this week. The fights had been constant over the smallest things and you wanted to apologize for that, so now that you were free you had decided to prepare everything for Fermin and wait for him.

After a while, when you had finished all the ice cream in your bowl, you heard the sound of the door opening. Worried, you watched Fermin enter with his bag, but you sighed at the sound of him coming in all right.

"Hello" he greeted somewhat concerned to see you sitting there.

"Hi Fermin" you said with a smile.

"What are you doing awake?" he asked putting down his things. He seemed surprised to see you sitting there.

You raised your eyebrows in confusion.

"I was waiting for you" you mentioned. He nodded taking off his sweatshirt. "Was training late?" you wanted to know.

"No, it was normal" he said sitting down next to you.

You grimaced in confusion. "A lot of traffic?" you asked again.

"No" he denied simply.

"I made you dinner, I told you this morning that I would be home after school and that I would take care of everything" you told him sighing.

Fermin remained silent.

"I texted you, I even called you" you insisted ballasting the phone that was in your hand.

You had spent at least an hour and a half texting him with your heart in your mouth from the scare you were having.

"I took Gavi home and he invited me to dinner, sorry I forgot to tell you" he commented and your heart broke.

I forgot to warn you? You didn't mind him staying at Gavi's, but you had told him you were staying home today and had been working hard on his dinner. You would have liked to have gotten a message of his warning too, at least to go to bed early.

"Okay" you said getting up from the couch.

Clearly things between you were not right some time ago. I don't know why you had tried to do everything for Fermín, you should have talked about it before. You felt forgotten and offended, he seemed to show zero interest in spending time with you. In the morning you had tried to talk to him but you had to leave early for class and Fermín was still sleeping but you had made sure to let him know that you were in charge of dinner.

Almost on the verge of tears, you walked silently to the table. You put the dishes and the food together, putting everything away in its place. You were tired and wanted to go to bed as quickly as possible. You had come up a hard morning and your effort hadn't paid off at all, so you were overcome with this situation.

"Are you mad?" you heard him coming. You turned your back to him, washing what was left in the sink.

"No" you said slowly.

You weren't angry, you were disappointed. You were tired of this same situation, the pointless fights that went through you every day. So you didn't want to fall into the same thing.

"Yes you are" he snorted coming up behind you.

It seemed like Fermin was more mad at you than you were at him. why was he even mad? It was unfair. You had been the one who had been stood up after preparing a whole dinner for him.

"It's just that you could have at least texted, I could have gone to rest earlier" you tell him resting your hands on your waist as you finish.

"That's all you do!" he yells and his tone of voice catches you off guard. "If you're not sleeping, you're out of the house or studying - all day!" he raises his voice again.

His reproach freezes you. He's right, your last few days have been studying, going to class and going back to sleep in an endless loop. It was the end of the semester and you had exams, reports, group work, etc. You couldn't blame him, you also felt like you were giving up on the relationship but you also felt tired and needed to pass. Studying a demanding college degree was stressful and your days were getting harder and harder but you didn't give up.

"You get mad because I went out with the guys one night but you are never here, you don't even ask me how training went, you don't care about me at all" he says angrily and you look at him incredulously.

Of course you care about him. Of course you care about his training, but you can't neglect your studies either. You didn't see each other much and you kept different schedules, it was clear that it was hard to see each other and talk. But you always worried about him, you thought about if he was doing well and if he needed anything he would come for you.

"You think it's my damn fault I have a demanding career?" you say in the same way he does.

I wasn't going to put all the blame on you, not when he didn't seem to be there for you either. In the mornings you'd call him to have breakfast together but he'd say he'd stay in bed a while longer and you'd let him, since he used to train late. But when you tried to get close, he wouldn't seem to let you.

"I try to do the best I can every day, this week I was a little more free and I told you so, Fermin!" you reproached him in a shout.

You were a little upset and angry because of his attitude, not because of the recent situation. He wasn't the only one suffering, you were also stressed and felt you couldn't take it anymore. It's true, you had become strangers these last weeks but now you were trying to fix things and Fermin didn't even show up at the house.

"Don't blame me for everything!" you squeak out.

You want to get away from him, walk to the bedroom and go to sleep. You know that if you keep fighting this will have another ending and you're not at your best time to argue. You were already exhausted enough to listen to his reproaches.

"You know what it takes to be on the first team, it's my dream and you don't care!" he yells when you try to pull away. "I needed you to be there for me but you do nothing but sit between your books and you don't even remember the games!"

Your heart breaks when you hear him. You had forgotten about watching his first team games and now you felt worse than before. But he was being unfair. You were proud of Fermin, you always had been. You were so supportive of his dream and with your schedule you hadn't been able to be there for him as much. Playing in the first team was important to Fermín and you knew he had worked hard but it wasn't all about him. It was a fifty-fifty relationship.

"Did you even ask how I did on my final exams?" you snatch. "You weren't interested either and it's important to me too, Fermin!" you shout back with tear-filled eyes.

You are angry, sad and disappointed. With you and with Fermín. You have both hurt each other with your words and your distancing. It's both your fault, you can admit it. And you want to do everything to recover your relationship, you even prepared a delicious dinner for him, you wait for him until late hours and now you are the one who cries.

Fermin sighs with his hands on his head. He won't say anything else. He always does when you argue. Arguments had become more frequent in your relationship and even the slightest thing was the trigger for a fight. You were tired of it, you were tired of putting up with it.

"Can't you if you want be happy for me?" he says after a silence. "You always put yourself first, this started because of you and it won't end because of you" his words stab like daggers in your chest.

"You started it!" you scream but sigh calming yourself down. "It's always going to be my fault, isn't it?" your voice drops in pitch and you force yourself to calm this down.

You can't believe it but continuing to add fuel to his fire is not the solution. He's angry and he won't change his mind until one of you gives in and you're willing to be that person. You love him. You've always wanted the best for him, but that doesn't mean you're giving up on yourself.

"You're not the victim!" she insists again and you lower your arms in surrender.

"I'm sorry, okay?" you say sincerely trying to calm things down. "It's been a rough few days for both of us, we don't have to do this."

He lets out a snort. He sighs and you can see his hard stare shatter like glass. He shakes his head from side to side, thinking. You want to speak but the words don't come out of your mouth, you're both at a loss. You're scared of what he's thinking, because you know him so well you know the next thing he says could be as good or as bad.

"I think we'd better take some time."

His words are enough to overwhelm what little was left healthy in your heart. Your eyes leak endless tears and you want to refuse, to take him in your arms and hug him but you're hurt and you can't respond. You are paralyzed. You stand there as you watch him dodge you to enter the room, watch him take his things. You walk slowly to the door and lean against it.

"Fermin" you whisper in pain. "No..." you ask sobbing.

Maybe he's exaggerating, you want to think. But it seems very real. His mind seemed made up, he was very confident putting his bag together. You walk up to him and try to grab his things and take them out of the bag but Fermin stops you, wrapping his hands gently around your hands. Your eyes say 'what are you doing' But Fermin's eyes say nothing in response.

"We're hurting each other, y/n, we can't go on like this" he says looking at you. You deny in tears. "Look at you, look at me."

You're a mess and as much as he looks whole, you know he's broken just like you. Deep down you know he's right but you keep refusing, you can't let go.

"We can fix it..." you try to say but he interrupts you.

"I know, Y/n" he drops everything and comes so close to you. "But we need it, we both need time, we each have to make a decision" his hands wrap around your face full of tears and pain.

You keep shaking your head, you don't need time. You just need to rest but not from Fermín. You love him, you have a relationship of four years and you don't want it all to end because of a damn fight. It's not just that though and you know it. You saw the pain in his eyes, Fermin was suffering. You didn't want to give in to this thing you two had, you couldn't. But both he and you, you knew perfectly well that this was for the best.

"It will only be until this gets better" he says caressing you.

"And if it doesn't get better?" you ask trembling. "Will we give up everything we have?" you say again.

He doesn't respond and that makes you swallow saliva that feels like poison in your system. Instead, his lips kiss your forehead softly and you feel your whole body go numb. You wrap his waist around your waist and hug yourself tightly to him. His warmth invades you and you let yourself be carried away in the feeling of his last embrace.

Your heart bleeds, your mind is drifting, you don't want to let him go but you have to.

"I love you, baby" he whispers in your ear.

"Come back to me, Fermin" you ask sobbing. Your boyfriend smiles at you and caresses your back one last time.

You feel your soul leave your body the very moment his arms let go of you, you stand there empty, your heart shattered. You see him take his things and he says goodbye with a last smile. A smile that hits you like an arrow in the chest, leaving you breathless as you watch his back disappear from his home. The home you had created and loved, now felt like a cold, empty apartment.

I can't bear to see him go but there is no choice. He asked you for time and you know you need it too. You both have neglected this relationship and neither of you are to blame, that's just the way it is. That's life, sometimes you get apples and sometimes you get stones. You get to your bed and fall into it with the memories of all the nights you slept together, his scent is still intact in your nose, in the sheets, in the air. You cry again and this time you let it all out.

You don't know how you will go on after this but at least you have to try, you need to think, you need time, you need to find yourself.

You need to find yourself in that relationship and in Fermin, you trust you. So time will tell.

At the end of the day, if there's one thing time can do, it's heal, right?

At least you pray so because you're not ready to let him go, you love him enough to end this.

'Comeback to me, please' you beg in your head wishing he would come back to you as soon as possible and that this was all a dream.

(...)

You stand in front of the mirror, staring at your reflection as tears slide down your cheeks. The echo of his words echo in your mind: "I need time". Each word weighs like a burden on your heart, and you feel sadness envelop you like a shadow.

You try to remember the exact moment when everything changed but the reasons fade away in tears and lost whispers. The photographs on the wall look back at you, capturing moments that now seem far away. Every corner of your room seems to contain the echo of her laughter, but now everything is shrouded in bitter silence.

After a few weeks, you had finally been able to get out of bed today. You hadn't even touched your college stuff, your friends used to bring you your notes and then you went back to bed. You hadn't seen Fermin since then, all his stuff was still here and you were beginning to wonder if he would ever come for it or just leave it there. You had had too much time to think and your decision remained the same, you loved Fermin and you didn't need more time. But you respected his decision and tried to stay out of it, you hadn't called him, you hadn't texted him. He seemed to be fine, now he was playing games with the first team, scoring goals, assists and playing very well. You were proud and still supported him from the couch at home, you hadn't told anyone about his "break up" you didn't even know if you had really broken up but it felt like one.

The phone remains in your hands, tempting you to dial its number but you stop yourself. You wonder if time will really heal the wounds or if it will only prolong the agony. As the nights grow longer, you sink into a sea of memories that seem to fade like a dream upon awakening.

Tears fall with the same intensity as broken promises and you cling to the hope that someday time will give you back the peace it took from you today. In the midst of sadness, you face the difficult task of letting go, even though every step seems like an abyss in your soul. But you have to move on, now that you are back to classes your mind will be occupied with other things and you will be able to recover. At least you hope so but everything has been harder since Fermin left and every time you remember something about him, you want to cry. But you kept forcing yourself to stay strong.

You grabbed your things, finishing getting ready. You texted your friend that you were leaving on a trip to look for her and you saw that the sky was dark gray, it was sure to rain at any moment, so you had to hurry to get to class before the rain.

The gray sky loomed over the city as you drove through the streets, drops began to fall from the sky in small amounts but as you kept going you could see the roads getting wet. The drops hit the windshield and visibility was reduced, making every turn a challenge. The rain was falling heavily, turning the streets into mirrors reflecting the lights of the city. You were concentrating on the steering wheel, fighting blurred vision. As you rounded a curve, the left wheel slipped in a puddle, and control of the car vanished in an instant, you did your best to regain control but in vain. The metallic sound of the crash echoed as your car crashed into the guardrail.

The impact left you dazed, adding to the shock of the accident, the smell of dampness and gasoline filled the air. When you opened your eyes, you noticed the tinkling of rain on the roof of your vehicle. The car had gone flying into the guardrail off the road but at least it hadn't rolled. Your heart was pounding and your pulse was trembling, you sighed trying to calm your shock. You were fine, it had only been a minor accident.

Your left leg hurt intensely but when you checked yourself, you noticed that the injuries seemed to be limited to minor cuts. However, the difficulty in moving your leg indicated deeper damage so you left it still.

You saw a group of people approach you and ask you if you were okay, they quickly assisted you and called the ambulance. Soon, the flashing red lights of an ambulance became visible in the rain. The paramedics carefully helped you out after they made a quick examination of what had happened, placing you on the stretcher as the water continued to fall mercilessly. The siren echoed in the night as they sped to the hospital, the lights of the city flickering in the fogged glass of the ambulance.

Entering the hospital was a whirlwind of bright lights, rushing voices and the steady murmur of rain. It was all right, you still wanted to call someone and as soon as you were asked for the number of a relative, you thought of Fermin. Normally he was the one you called when you had problems or needed something but now he wasn't feeling well, you didn't want to bother him, so you opted to tell your mother. Still dazed, you were taken to a room where the smell of disinfectant mingled with the dampness of your wet clothes. The doctors checked your wounds, confirmed the fracture in your leg and ordered rest. You never stopped thinking about Fermin at any moment, even when your mother was with you holding you back, you wanted him to be there too, he always was. And it didn't add up that your mother kept asking about him while you blatantly lied that he was busy with training.

They decided to keep you in the hospital for a day to check that everything was normal. They did the corresponding tests, prescribed medication for your bruises and pain. So now you were waiting for your mother who was supposed to bring food. You were lying down still thinking about the shock you had gone through when you heard the door, opened your eyes and found the figure of the boy who stole your sighs.

"Y/n" he sobbed running to you. He wrapped his arms around you completely, your senses responded to him immediately. Your heart raced and the pain in your body was gone, it was like pure magic.

A tear ran down your cheek as you felt his touch again, so delicate, so warm, so familiar as you remembered. You had missed him so much.

"It's my fault, i'm so sorry" he whispered still squeezing you. "I should never have left you, i was an idiot" he said chastising himself.

"No, Fermin" you said enjoying his embrace. "It's nobody's fault, it was an accident" you tell him trying to calm him down.

His eyes were red, probably because he had cried on the way to the hospital. His face was sad and worried, his grip touched you as if he had needed you all this time.

"I was so scared, I thought something had happened to you.... I-I" you cut him off.

"It's all right, i didn't mean to upset you" you smiled a little.

Your heart was happy to see him back, you missed so much his voice, his skin, his affection, everything. But you didn't want to give yourself false illusions so you kept on the sidelines. Everything had happened too fast, you were not over him and life had taught you a lesson. So you lived every moment as unique and tried to smile in spite of everything, you were safe and sound.

"You don't bother me, quite the contrary" he said kissing your forehead. "I'm glad to know that everything is fine, that you are well" he caresses your head and you nod.

"Mom called you?" you asked shyly. He nodded.

Did he tell her that you...? You wanted to ask but you felt shy under his deep gaze.

You had never been shy with Fermin but everything had changed. You felt ashamed of what had happened, the fights, the separation and now the accident. You didn't know how to react, so much had happened in such a short time. You wanted to be happy to have him back but you didn't know if he was going to stay and that truth hurt.

"I'll stay the night with you, is that okay? I told your mom she could go rest, I'll take care of you" he asked now, sounding friendly.

"Sure, of course" you whispered with a smile.

There was an overwhelming silence, the two of you stared at each other for a few seconds until Fermin lets out a big sigh that surprises you.

"I'm really sorry, Y/n" he says in shock. "I was an idiot, I don't know why I pushed you away" he continues.

You want to say things too but you let him do the talking first, you are afraid that now he will ask you for a definitive separation and you don't want to get hurt again. Things between you have changed and you feel that you are no longer the same but deep down you still love each other unconditionally as before. At least you feel that way and you have no doubt about it.

"I thought you didn't care anymore, you were into something else, I even thought you didn't love me anymore" he sits on the space left over on the bed and grips your hands deliriously. "I neglected you, i distrusted you and i hurt you" his eyes fill with tears.

Your chest hurts but not by accident but because of all the feelings that bloom from it. Your tears don't take long to come at the sight of him like this, shattered in you.

"I was selfish, i wanted time because i thought you felt different things too but you didn't. I love you so much, i don't want to be without you" his hands squeeze yours with every word and he makes you feel at home.

"Don't blame yourself, Fermin" you reply caressing his cheek. "It was both of us, i also distance and neglected you, we were both estranged".

"No, you didn't give up" he sobs. "I hurt you, i asked you for us to walk away, you wanted to fight for us, for me" he says disappointed.

You shake your head. Deep down you knew he wanted to fight too but you saw going through a bad time and maybe it was right. No one knows what is right or wrong, he had the right to ask for his time and you had the right to respect him.

"I thought every night about you, i wanted to call you, i wanted to see you, i wanted to touch you but i didn't deserve it, i hurt you" again his tears wrap his cheeks but you take care to wipe them away so his beautiful face doesn't get splashed with them.

You want to jump with happiness, hug him, kiss him, shout how much you love him, you want to go home with Fermin and go back to the way you were before. Your love for him is still intact deep in your heart, Fermin knows it and feels the same. You were made for each other, with all the good and the bad.

"I'm really sorry, love" he apologizes for the third time. You smile towards him with nothing more to say.

"Stop talking and kiss me" you ask desperate to feel his lips on yours again.

Fermin smiles and fulfills your wish, kissing you softly as if for the first time. It feels warm, tender and delicate, his sweet lips caress you gently and you let yourself go from the feeling of bliss. There are no words for the moment, you just enjoy his gentle kiss.

"When your mom called me and told me what had happened I was so scared, Y/n. I thought i was losing you and i couldn't let that happen" his hands take your face and pulls you closer to him.

Butterflies flutter in your belly like the first time, his hands sweat and your pulse quickens as you feel so close to him. You can't even think how much you miss having Fermin, touching him, feeling him, smelling him.

"I love you so much" he whispers. "I don't want time or space, i don't want to have you far away, i want to be with you, i want to fight for us, i want to have you and take care of you. I want to comeback to you" he says with his forehead on yours.

The feelings you have for Fermin bloom like flowers in spring, they had never faded, you felt every word like band-aids in your heart, his touch is like a pain reliever, his eyes on you are like the light of the sun itself. You are spellbound, you love him so much you can't help but smile.

"I'm so sorry, i love no one but you. I'm in love with you, every part of you, y/n" he says caressing you. "I regret what o said that night, i should never have doubted us, i'm not giving up on you ever again."

'I want to come back to you' the words he used seconds ago echo in your mind like an echo, you had used the same words the night it all ended.

'Come back to me, Fermin' you said through tears begging for him to come back that night. And he did. And that makes you immensely happy.

Your foreheads stay glued together for a few seconds as you pull apart from your kiss, your cheeks rosy, your eyes shining, your smiles contagious. He helps you settle in, just enough to make room beside you and leans against you. Your head rests on his chest and there is no pain, no sadness whatsoever. You are at peace, surrounded by what you love most, ready to recover and go home tomorrow.

Over the weeks, the pain lessened but the bond between you grew stronger. Since Fermin came home, everything had been better. He took it upon himself to take care of you every moment, to help you with your chores, to do things around the house, to pamper you and take care of you.

Together, you celebrated small triumphs in this new chapter: the first walk outdoors, the shared laughter during a movie and the simple moments that became significant.

When the day finally came that you were able to return to your normal life, you did so with a renewed appreciation for the beauty of routine and the value of unconditional support. Your "parting" not only marked a challenging chapter but also wove a narrative of resilience and love that would endure long after the traces of the moment faded. You were back to your old selves, only this time you supported each other no matter what. You trusted, you talked, you learned, you endured.

You were willing to find new ways to connect, to love and support each other. To build new memories that would last in their memories for the rest of their lives. The daily routine was transformed into a ballet of love and patience.

[fish-eat-fish]

⋆ Gwen x f!reader ⋆ Sleep ⋆

request: @hyunslvvr can u pls do one for f!reader x gwen where they have a day in and they just stay in bed:)

tags: fluff, comfort, wlw, cuddling

word count: 2.1k

a/n: im paving away at requests rn, this one had me kicking my feet i LOVE gwen stacy _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR REQUESTING FOR HER, another one for the gays <3

✰✰✰

Un unbelievable stack of homework and two essays due. You couldn’t believe it. The sunlight beamed through your window and shined onto your desk, papers covering its surface as you tiredly scribbled on your assignment papers. Friday night and you had nothing better to do than weekend homework, how miserable. You sighed, tapping mindlessly on your desk when a buzz from your phone interrupted you. Picking it up, you smiled seeing it was Gwen.

It read, “on the way, open ur window!”

You sighed at the words, setting down your pencil and getting up out of your chair to unlock your window. Gwen had a bad habit of breaking in when she wanted to. You’d already assured her your family was okay with her visiting, preferably through the front door. But she always insisted that it was easier this way. Socializing seemed to sometimes stress her out you noticed.

Unlocking your window with a click, you raised it open, taking a nice breather as cold air blew in. The sunset was particularly nice today, and you didn’t quite mind seeing your favorite person right now. Sitting on your bed, you spiffed up your room for Gwen, making the bed and cleaning your cluttered desk. Just as you were about to exit your room to go and grab some snacks, a few knocks on your window sill signaled that your girlfriend had arrived. You turned around and beamed.

“Hey, sorry for the late notice.” She apologized, sitting on your window sill and climbing down from it. Taking off her white mask, Gwen sat down on your bed, crashing down on it. Until she rose up again.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Thank you for remembering.” You teased. Watching her take off her beaten-up shoes, and carefully placing them near the window on the floor. She let out a huff, flopping back onto your bed. Gwen’s suit was a little damaged and scratched. She looked tired.

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I…?” She asked. It was obvious that she felt guilty about her visit. But you’d reassured her many times before that your room was always available to her whenever she wanted. And so was your company.

Eyeing the homework on your desk, you declared your study session over. It didn’t matter all that much compared to hanging out with her. “Nope. I’m glad you dropped by actually, I was getting bored.” You explained, looking at Gwen as she folded her legs up on your bed. Gwen awkwardly rubbed her arm as she looked around the room.

“So…”

“Yes.”

She raised her eyebrow, “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Rolling your eyes, you responded, “Yes you can sleep over. I don’t mind.”

Gwen smiled at you, relieved. You leaned back against your desk, “I’m glad you’re here.”

She smirked, “What, you missed me?”

“Actually I did, yeah.”

Looking at Gwen, you figured that she didn’t have the best day today, being a crime fighting hero and all. Walking up to her and leaning down, you placed a hand on her cheek and gave her face a quick kiss. She chuckled and peered up at you. You held onto her cheek momentarily, “I’m gonna go and get us some snacks. Have you eaten anything today?”

“Oh uh, I haven’t had the chance yet.”

“Gwen.” You said, sternly.

“I just had to go to band practice, then there was some jerk downtown and-” She spoke quietly, her voice dying down as you stared at her, an irritated look on your face. Gwen sighed and grabbed the back of her neck, her hair falling down to hide her guilty expression.

“Sorry…”

You sighed, smiling at her nonetheless, “I’m gonna go make us some food. Stay put Spider.” Gwen grinned at you, watching you walk out of the room. She took a deep breath, lying down as she observed your room like she always did. She loved the comfort you and your space brought her. Your room was decorated with posters and fairy lights.

Gwen looked around, deciding that she should probably change. It was an unspoken ritual for Gwen to pick out something from your closet. You’d let her do it once, for a sleepover. But ever since, she’d found routine in picking out an outfit of yours for her to wear and potentially keep if given permission.

She walked up to your closet, finding a pair of pajama pants and an oversized tee. She slipped it on as she changed out of her spider suit, carefully tucking it away to where it was out of sight. Just in case. Gwen tugged the shirt towards her face, taking in your scent. Her senses were filled with just you, as she felt at ease.

Walking over to your bed, she noticed a new photo in your little collage of Polaroids. It was from your last hangout. “The Mary Janes Concert–October.” In it, Gwen was holding you by the waist, her drumsticks clasped in her hand. Your arm held her cheek for a kiss, whilst the other held up Gwen’s Polaroid camera. Gwen was laughing as she looked in your direction, feeling proud of your praise of her performance.

That night your throat was so raspy from cheering for her, and Gwen felt absolutely ecstatic as you tackled her after the concert. She was happy to introduce you to her band members after, grabbing you by the hand and speaking with pride to announce you as her one and only girlfriend.

Gwen stared at the Polaroid, taking it in. She smiled and reached out, touching the photo. Moments like these felt surreal, and being reminded that someone as amazing as you were willing to stick by her and be in her life, made her woozy. Gwen loved you a lot.

The door cranked open as you walked in, a plate of sandwiches in one hand, and a mug of freshly brewed tea in your other. You set down the food on your nightstand, glancing at Gwen as she took her hand away from the Polaroid hung up above your bed. You observed her, obsessed with the way she looked in your clothes.

“Being nosy again?”

“Just lookin’ around.” She shrugged, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear.

You sat down next to her, the bed shifting under your weight. You held out the plate towards her, to which she gratefully accepted. Gwen dug in right away, mumbling incoherent words as she ate. You laughed at this, “I can’t understand you when your chewing, you know that right?” Gwen swallowed her bite and smiled at you, gesturing to her sandwich.

“This is seriously good. I’ll never get tired of your food.”

“Glad you like it.” You grabbed the mug off of the nightstand, passing it to her as she finished the last bite of her sandwich. Chamomile is Gwen’s favorite. You’d made an effort to always keep it in stock for her since she liked to crash at yours a lot. Gwen took it carefully in her hands, blowing on the tea to cool it down.

You grabbed a pillow off of your bed and hugged it to your chest, just quietly watching Gwen as she drank her tea. You gently smiled, as she seemed a little bit more energized now. Grabbing your own mug from the nightstand, you drank it quickly, uncaring of how cold it had gotten. Putting the mug down, you patted the bed. Gwen looked up at you curiously.

“I’m a little tired today, do you wanna…?”

Her eyes widened as she lowered her mug.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind.” She smiled at your offer, shifting off of the bed, and placing her tea on your nightstand. She lifted the covers off of your bed, carefully moving the pillows and occasional stuffed animals off to the side to make room. As Gwen got into the bed, you turned off your main light, allowing the darkness to consume your room. The sun had set long ago now, and it was time to wind down. You walked up to your fairy lights, switching them on so that only gentle orange light illuminated your room.

Carefully stepping over to your bed, you got in, placing the covers over yourself, noting how you were much colder before. The warmth of your covers had you snuggling into them deeper. You glanced over at Gwen, who looked a little unsure of what to do with herself. You two were still kind of new to the whole cuddling thing. It’d taken a long while for Gwen to be comfortable with physical contact like that on top of that. She let out a small laugh as you snaked your arm around her as you faced her.

“What?” You asked, curious of her amusement.

“I don’t think this position is natural for you.” She teased, noting how awkward your arm felt around her torso. Your body was also pretty stiff. Gwen’s face was gently glowing due to the string lights, her blonde hair fell down into her face as she shifted her body to face towards you. So much for being big spoon tonight.

There was a quick silence between the two of you. Your face was comfortably above the covers, whilst Gwen pulled them up to cover her exposed skin. Her heart was racing, as usual. She’d never gotten used to intimate moments like this, and she’d decided that she’d never get used to it. You made her nervous in all the good ways.

Gwen peered at you, the covers pulled up to half of her face. Nothing was said between the two of you. Leaning in closer, you gently moved her blonde hair out of her eyes. Talking no louder than a whisper, you spoke, “Your hair, I think the pink is fading, you should…”

Gwen shuffled, reaching out and grabbing your collar, pulling you closer to her. Her hair tickled your face as she hovered her face near yours, before carefully connecting her lips with yours. It was quick but intimate. And if not for the dark, Gwen would have definitely taken the opportunity to comment on the rising red on your cheeks. She pulled away, not completely leaving the kiss as her lips brushed over yours. And yet just like that it was over.

She cleared her throat as you lay there speechless, she glanced at your eyes through the dim room, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

“We should probably sleep now. It’s getting… late.” She blurted. That statement was probably wrong, but you nodded anyways. Gwen’s internal alarms went off, as she criticized her judgment. That took a lot of courage, but she didn’t want you to know. Laying beside her, you stared at Gwen in awe and adoration. You loved this girl so much it was unbelievable.

“Fine.” You sighed. Gwen eyed you questioningly.

“Go on.” You said defeatedly. Gwen laughed at your words, smirking as she saw your expression.

“Finally.” She teased.

Turning over to the other side, you felt her cold hands wrap around your torso, pulling you in closer. Your bodies were snug against each other. Still being wide awake, you hoped Gwen didn’t feel your thumping heart as her hand was placed on your torso. She definitely did notice of course, but she was nervous too, hiding her face in your shirt.

You both lay there, nervous and awkward, as it was usually in the beginning stages of a relationship. You felt her move your fingers, playing with them.

“I think you’re the most amazing girl I know.” She spoke softly, into your back. Your heart fluttered at this. At Gwen’s voice, and the way she gave you affection.

“I love you,” you whispered out.

Gwen only smiled as she planted a soft kiss into your shoulder.

“I love you too.”

Yawning, Gwen mumbled something into your shirt, unable to really keep her eyes open any longer. You hummed, questioning what she said. But she didn’t reply. You’d finally calmed down, letting the comfort of the covers and Gwen’s warmth ease your mind. The city’s ambiance seeped into your room through the open window as you let your mind wander. Gwen’s breathing slowed down, her head placed on your back.

Readjusting yourself and the covers by pulling them up, you froze as Gwen stirred in her sleep. Cautiously, you pulled part of the covers over her. Gwen held onto your torso tighter and moved her face into your neck, her breathing tickling your skin. Holding her hand, you caressed her skin. Her hands were rough and calloused, evidence of her skills as a drummer.

Feeling Gwen twitch in her sleep, she subconsciously intertwined her fingers with yours. The only thing you could remember was Gwen’s touch as you dozed off. Gwen may have needed your comfort and presence the most after every day as Ghost-Spider, but she’d never understand that you needed her more than you let on.

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[arlerts-angel]

heyyy, i have a request 4 u!! 🤭

could u write sum armin nsfw with afab!reader with one kink that you like the most? praising, degrading, whatever u prefer!!🥴🥴

a/n: mkay mkay i can do that 😈 i've been brainrotting on dry humping with min so my kink of choice is endytophilia!! happy slutsgiving 😚 (endearing)

cw: armin arlert x fem reader, college au, dry humping, a little bit of plot but mostly smut, sub armin if you squint

taglist: @callm3senpaii @ringsofsaturnnnn @dilfkentolover @sleazymac-n-cheesy @darkstarlight82 @arlertwitch

"thanks for helping me study 'min, but i think i'm just gonna accept the F on this exam. i've done so much studying that my eyes are starting to cross and i still feel like i've learned nothing..." you let out an exasperated sigh and bounce your leg. the scent of armin's cologne and being so close to him has been a huge distraction.

"don't worry. we'll take a break and do something else to occupy your mind. you've been doing great." he smiles sweetly. there's really only one thing you want to do right now to de-stress. not only from the studying, but the tension between the two of you. you don't even know how to bring it up. armin isn't the type to just sleep around, and he's your best friend... but maybe he'll understand.

"um, can i ask you something? you can say no if you're uncomfortable." you ask softly. he nods. "of course you can." he sits on the small single bed in your dorm room. "actually, nevermind. can i show you instead...?"

he looks puzzled but agrees. "stop me at any point, okay?" he furrows his brows in confusion. "a-alright... what is it?" he asks. you sit on the bed next to him and put your hand on his thigh. before he has time to think, you kiss him softly with growing intensity. to your surprise, he kisses back. a few seconds later, when you pull away, he lets out of a soft whimper.

"what was that for?" he asks, cheeks flushed slightly pink. "i'll explain later. do you want to keep going?" he nods shyly. "...how much further?" you ask. "w-well, i don't have any... condoms." "we don't need them." "what?! of course we do!" he objects. you can't help but giggle. "armin, we don't even have to undress." he cocks his head to the side.

"let me show you." you whisper before kissing his soft lips again. his hands quickly find their way to your waist. you position yourself on top of him and swirl your hips, rutting your clothed and desperate cunt against his thigh. he catches on, quickly thrusting his bulge against your thigh. your soft moans and grunts are almost enough to make him cum right there. "s-shit!" he wails, grabbing your waist tightly to keep his composure. you shift slightly to grind your pussy right on the tent of his pants.

"oh god— oh fuck— please don't stop." he pleads, thrusting his cock in sync with the grinding of your pussy. "shit–! 'm getting close 'min" you moan. "y-yeah me too—" he holds you down, tight and hard against his bulge "right there, just like that— ohhhh fuck i'm cumming!" he cries out. "fuck 'miiiin—! 'm cumming too—!" you mewl as you reach your orgasms simultaneously; feeling his cock twitch as the sticky strands of cum shoots into his boxers.

"thanks, i really needed that." you admit sheepishly. "apparently i did too." he smiles reassuringly and kisses your forehead.

dividers by benkeibear

[kriffingstars]

Johnny MacTavish; rule breaker

pairing: Johnny MacTavish x Price!Reader summary: You're practically delivered to Johnny, you can't blame a man warnings: verrrrrry slight age gap (I imagine reader to be around 20, Johnny is 26), allusions to sex ;) a/n: You guys!!! I've loved your asks SO much. Hopefully this little interaction tides you over until part two :)

Price's Niece Masterlist

You're in Edinburgh, for a conference at the university about how modern technology can assist in the renovation process of old pieces of art, the case studies being used are newly found renaissance paintings.

It's the middle of the fringe festival, so you were only able to get accommodation for the day before your conference, planning to get the 5-hour train back to London, and then the train home after it had ended.

It's sod's law when after an interesting but long day, all the trains are cancelled. Torrential rain has caused major flooding, and now you're stranded, soaking and without a way to get home.

Price isn't expecting a call from you so early, but after you explain your predicament he transfers you enough for a decent room and tells you he'll sort you out a train, or flight home in the morning.

Unfortunately, luck really isn't on your side because of course everything besides some really sketchy AirBnb is booked. You really don't want to stay there on your own. If you were with your uni friends it would be different, but it was just you who went to the conference, the rest of them more interested in curating than restoration.

Begrudgingly, you call your Uncle once again and explain what's happening. You know he's busy, he's been in meetings all day and you know he's had to step out to answer your call.

Gritted teeth, he tells you he'll sort it, and calls you back a few minutes later.

"Soap's coming to grab you, find a pub and get yourself something to eat on me. I'll give him a text to let him know where you are."

This really isn't the solution he wanted, but your safety is paramount and there's no way he's letting you sleep anywhere potentially dangerous.

The stars aligned in the most infuriating way, practically delivering you to the man he wanted you to stay away from. Soap had too much leave to use up, and so he was taking an extra week at home.

It's far from ideal, and he once again, reminds Soap that he's expecting no funny business.

"Aye Captain, best behaviour I promise." his scottish drawl mumbles through the phone as he hears am engine start.

"I'll even take the sofa."

That does nothing to ease the stress, that the two of you are inadvertently causing him.

It's gone nine by the time Johnny get's to you, the rain still hasn't let up, and he jogs, bag in hand through the front door.

"Bonnie! It's been a while," he greets as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a giant bear hug.

And it has, your communication had dropped in in the last couple of months. Both of you becoming busy, and texts that were once answered straight away lie unread.

He's warm and firm and practically engulfing you. He also smells really good.

"Jesus, you're freezing," he notes as he pulls back, cupping your hands in his as he blows on them to get the heat back into your digits.

Johnny makes it way too difficult to not like him. It's like telling you not to imagine an elephant. The more you tell yourself not to do it, the more you do.

He's kind, funny, charming and ridiculously handsome.

It's even harder when he swaps your bag for his, telling you there's some warm, dry clothes for you if you want to change before you head back to his.

In the bathroom you dig out the clothes, the t-shirt is one of his work ones, with the SAS insignia embroidered on the chest, the same one your Uncle wears. That's not what stops you in your tracks though, it's not the sweats either. It's the zip up hoodie, this one isn't army issue. It's well worn and smells absolutely divine, there's a few smells mixed in together but it's overwhelmingly him.

You lift the collar to your nose, breathing it in again and your chest flutters slightly.

Your Uncle's warnings bounce around your head as you leave the stall, and make your way back to the bar.

They also leave your head as soon as Johnny looks up at you, eyes lighting up and smile softening as he sees you dressed in his clothes. You've still got your hat on, covering your damp hair.

You Price's and your bloody hats he thinks when you get close enough again for him to tuck you into his side, as he leads you to his car.

All to warm you up though, he's simply making sure you're not going to get ill. There's definitely no other reason at all that he wants you as close as possible.

"Thank you again, I don't know what I'd have done if you weren't here to rescue me," It's not meant to be flirty, you're genuinely just relaying your gratitude.

But Johnny lives to serve, his whole life is built around that and he thinks that he'd come and rescue you wherever because the way you're looking up at him is sending him haywire.

No funny business. Yes Sir.

The hour drive back to his flat flies by. It reminds the both of you when you first met, and you don't let him forget how he properly put his foot in his mouth.

"We even look similar!" you shriek as he tries to justify why he thought that a trophy wife was the correct conclusion to come to about your identity.

"Nah, you're too pretty to look like him," Johnny doesn't think before he speaks, but he's glad he didn't this time, because when glances over at you as he checks his mirror he's greeted with you wearing his clothes, face hot, and eyes already looking at him.

It really should be illegal for him to rest his forearm on the ledge next to the window as he drives, one hand on the wheel, the other on the gearstick.

"Nearly here now," is all he says, and you hum in response.

Despite living in a new build, the flat is relatively cosy. Maybe it's just the giant 'L' shaped sofa in the corner that looks like you could sink onto and sleep for days on.

"You take the bed, I'll be just on the sofa if you need anything. Bathroom's that way, toothpaste's in the cabinet above the sink."

He was really looking after you, when he stopped for petrol he grabbed you a tooth brush and some make-up wipes, as well as a packet of your favourite sweets.

He really is making it hard, when he's so thoughtful.

Settling down for the night happens pretty quickly, he leads you into his room. Shows you where the phone charger is and grabs a pair of sweats for himself to change into.

Sinking into his sheets felt so wrong, when you thought about lying in his bed it was never like this. Usually, it involved you under him, trapped between the mattress and his frame as he pulled ungodly noises from your throat. Instead you've got a pretty thin duvet, the man you want as your blanket is sleeping soundly on his sofa.

You don't bother to check the time before leaving the confines of Johnny's bedroom, your throat dry after spending far too long thinking of what you wish he'd do to you.

Creeping as silently as possible down the hallway, you make it to the kitchen, without stirring too much noise from your gracious host.

Unfortunately, Johnny didn't tell you where he kept his glasses, it felt invasive to go rummaging but needs must.

"What you looking for, Bon" Johnny mutters, scaring the ever-loving daylights out of you.

With a shriek, you leap into the air before whirling around. If you thought your heart was beating fast, it's beating faster now because he's shirtless in front of you, sweats hanging low on his hips and he's speaking in the sexiest sleep-filled voice.

You don't even noticing him walk towards you until he's standing right there. Christ, he really is toned.

"I-eh...a glass," your garbled response makes him let out a small huff of air as a smile breaks out over his face.

And if you didn't think that you could become more of a mess, he leans even closer and reaches a hand behind your head to grab the cursed object.

Your faces are inches apart, his nose grazing yours so gently you question if it was even there. In this light, his eyes are darker than usual, and his eyelashes seem a lot thicker as his blinks begin to slow. Your gaze flutters down to his lips, and you can't help but reach up to trace the scar with your fingertips.

When your gaze reaches his eyes again, you're already ruined. He's looking directly at your lips, tongue darting out as he swipes at his.

It's you who makes the first move, capturing him in a searing kiss. The flutters in your stomach have moved their way up to your eardrums, where they pound to be let out.

The kiss is all-consuming, your arms wrap around his neck finding anchor in the hair at the base of his neck. His arms have you pinned in, one snaking around your waist and finding refuge on the small of your back, pulling you closer and the other tenderly cupping your cheek.

"We shouldn't," he whispers breaking the kiss, but instead of backing away like you thought you would he dives in again. More passionate and with more tongue this time, teeth catching the bottom of your lip.

"I promised your old man I wouldn't," once again he pulls away, cupping your face, as leaves open mouth kisses down your neck, stopping to nip at your pulse point, before soothing it with his tongue.

"Johnny," you breathe, chest heaving. He lets out a growl against your throat which sends vibrations all the way south.

"He doesn't have to know."

[iam-stargirl]

Success story

I will be writing what happened before and the problems I faced in the 3d up until it happened just in case it might help someone. If you don’t want to read it then you can go down to where I write the success story, it will be in bold and pink! :)

I’m currently studying four courses and lately… I have not done one single thing that I should when it comes to my studies. I’ve been procrastinating like crazy, which then makes me feel anxious and stressed and because of that I procrastinate more and the cycle continues. I had missed the deadline by almost a month… If you don’t send in your assignments in time and it’s been a month after the deadline, you will no longer be able to continue with the courses. Then you have to apply yet again to start from the beginning again! 

I thought to myself that I need to fix this since it’s important, and by not doing it is making me feel worse. I then asked my teacher when I could book my oral exam and they told me that I had to apply to extend the course. I absolutely did not want that as it would interfere with a lot of stuff and make things worse for me in many ways. Did I still apply for it? Yes… They reached out pretty quickly and they told me it wouldn’t be possible. I shouldn’t have been surprised as I wasn’t exactly persisting in the favourable or living in the end at all, I was just thinking of the worst case scenarios.

Then I decided to send an email asking if they could give me more time (a week or so) to finish the assignments. After that I just decided that it was done, that it already happened. It was like a flip inside of me, from anxious to calm, just by deciding. It just happened.

Whenever i thought about this i would affirm. And yes sometimes when it would pop up I would start to worry and doubt if it even would be possible. I thought they would tell me that since the courses couldn’t be extended, they wouldn’t be able to give me more time for the assignments. But I would redirect and affirm that it was done. 

Many hours later I decide to go on my computer to see if any of my teachers said anything else/more but then I saw that all the red marks for being late with the assignments were gone and I got a little more time. I was like ??? So I checked my email to see their answer and I hadn’t received anything from them, I was so confused. I made sure to check everywhere just in case but I still found nothing. They hadn’t answered yet which they always do after they extend the deadlines. Then I realized that I had somehow manifested getting more time by myself ???

I still don’t know how it happened because “it shouldn’t have been able to happen” or whatever. But then I realized how stubborn I was and kept deciding that it was done. Even though I want and need more time I’m still gonna count this as a success story and I will keep persisting until I get exactly what I want.

Sorry if this is a mess and hard to read!!! I didn’t sleep much last night so my head is like ??? And I’m still a little shocked at how I did it and how it even happened since the ones I emailed are the only ones “capable” of doing it, not even my teachers can for some reason. I already believed in the law but I realized that I didn’t believe or have faith in myself when it comes to “bigger” things. But also.. I shouldn’t be shocked because imagination is truly the real reality and if you persist you will get what you want !!! and it's only "big" and “harder” to manifest because you assume it is 💅🏻 

So learn from me, I sure as hell will! Believe in yourself, you're literally the one in control. Everyone and everything is you pushed out. You can do this !! 🩷

Stargirl

[violetszone]

Hard Crash

Charles x fem!reader

From this request

Summary: Charles loses control of the car and crashes into the barriers,Charles is taken to the hospital while you wait anxiously.

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, not edited writing

A/n: your writer and great name ideas (I put whatever comes to my mind.)

Formula 1 was a dangerous sport, no matter how much Charles promised to be careful, it was unclear what would happen.You were watching  race in the Ferrari garage At first everything was going normally, then Charles hooked up to the radio and said something about the control of the car, and you understood it at that moment.

You put your hand on your heart with stress You looked anxiously at the screen, then at Joris. even though he was worried too, he looked at you and smiled to keep you calm.You swallowed and turned to the screen Charles was having a hard time controlling the car you took a deep breath it all happened Charles crashed into the barriers your breathing stopped and everyone rushed around

You stared at the screen for a while Joris turned you to hisself then you're back to reality "YN are you okay, are you here" you heard one of the staff say I think she's in shock  it was right, but right now Charles should be taken care of, not you.You didn't dare look at the screen "Did they get him out of the car, is he alright" nobody said anything you were pissed off "Joris is he alright" you asked a little louder.

Joris nodded disapprovingly, you were still looking at the screen but you were sure you heard an ambulance.Tears started flowing from your eyes. Joris pulled you aside to a place where you could sit and Arthur was beside you, just staring at the screen."We have to go, I have to go to him please" There was such a pain inside you that you couldn't describe.

Arthur turned to you, "We'll go after the first checks, I promise, please try to stay calm for now" You trusted Arthur, you sat and waited, no one was telling you anything. After a few hours, while you were crying in Charles' room, Arthur came in, "YN, are you okay?" you wiped your tears "Well if you want we can go to the hospital now" you got up right away.

When you arrived at the hospital, they said that Charles is fine for now, but that he will stay in the hospital for the night so that there will be no problems, and they also informed that he should not sleep.You nodded and started walking towards the room Arthur turned to you before knocking on the door. he wanted to make sure you were okay you looked at him finally he knocked on the door and you walked in, there he was the man you loved more than anything lying in a hospital bed.

You walked over to Charles, he was looking at you, smiling, you hit his arm angrily "You bastard, are you laughing " You looked at his arm worriedly when he grabbed his shoulder and made a hurting sound."I have nothing on my arm, I'm fine my love" you rolled your eyes and sat on the chair next to you he was studying you you looked at the floor Charles reached over and tucked a piece of hair covering your face behind your ear so you looked at him again.

"You've been crying," he said, looking first at you, then at Arthur for two seconds."Are you okay, the doctors said that's it, but if something hurts, tell me" he smiled tenderly at you and raised his arm for you to hug him you hugged him and rested your head on his shoulder "I'm sorry if I scared you and made you cry, I'm fine now, OK, I'm fine i promise."

You were going to accompany Charles tonight, of course, Arthur was still with you, but you were doing everything you could to keep him from sleeping. Finally, when you fell asleep, Arthur put you on the couch in the room. Charles insisted that you sleep next to him, but Arthur never accepted it.When you woke up you looked around and you quickly got up when you remembered you were in the hospital Charles and Arthur were playing games on the phone they both looked at you.

You took a sigh of relief and sat down to the couch. Charles and Arthur laughed at you, just as you were about to quarrel with them, the nurse came in.She said everything was fine and Charles could be discharged and left. You couldn't even remember how fast you left the hospital, you sat in the back seat with Charles and Charles fell asleep as his head rested on your shoulder.You closed your eyes, inhaling his scent.

[aphroditeslover11]

for oppie maybe he meets a foreign student when he is studying abroad like in the beginning of the movie in germany? he is so stressed then he could have used a friend… loved your exam piece so i thought maybe you would like an idea like this ❤️

An Unexpected Friend

Hi there, I hope that this is something along the lines of what you meant. My first ask, so I’m using that as an excuse if it’s crap! I ended up writing a little more of myself into this than I meant to. 🤣

I should probably warn that Oppie ends up having a bit of an existential crisis incase that bothers anybody. But yeah, please read and enjoy, any feedback or further requests are much appreciated.

Robert Oppenheimer was thoroughly fed up. He was twenty two and in the middle of a real dip in his life. The last year that he had spent studying at Cambridge had been nothing short of a disaster. He was starting to doubt himself intellectually for the first time, he felt as if he was losing his identity. Though he would be hard pushed to admit it, he also felt as if he had nowhere to turn, his friends all seemed to be meeting women, some making the more permanent choice of settling down into early domesticity, leaving him feeling completely alone in the world. This was where his decision to pack his bags and move to Germany had come from, to try and reinvigorate his love of physics if nothing else.

He was on an overnight train, headed to Gottingen for the place at the university that he was taking up. He was dosing in and out of sleep, waking up for the third time since he had finished the sandwiches that he had bought before he left the station. The lights of the carriage were slightly dingy, yet he reached for the book that he had been reading earlier that evening, a newly published physics paper, hoping to get a bit more reading done before he arrived.

After about half an hour of reading he was fully awake again, concentration completely engaged, only to be pulled out of it by a knock on the door of his compartment. He opened the door to find a girl, about the same age as him, carrying a suitcase and with a reticent look on her face.

“I’m really sorry to bother you Sir, I got onto the train at the last station but I can’t find any seats, all the other compartments are dark and I didn’t want to disturb people if they were sleeping.” Robert ran a hand through his hair in contemplation, then moving away from the door to let you in.

“It’s alright, I’m on my own. We can share it for the night. I’ll warn you that I’m planning on staying awake for the rest of the journey though, so the light will be on.”

“That’s not an issue, I’m probably going to read anyway. I’ve always been a dreadful sleeper. Thankyou, Mr?”

“Oppenheimer, Robert. And you are?”

“Y/N.”

~

You had both started the evening with your noses buried in books, trying to be quiet and not disturb each other. Robert had uncharacteristically broken the silence when he realised what you were reading a volume of Plato. You started a discussion between you about how philosophy and physics could be compatible with one another, learning that you were both heading to the same university to study your respective subjects. When you got off the train you agreed to meet up soon.

Over the first few weeks of your time at the university you saw each other a lot. Neither of you were hugely social, of course making some friends through your courses, but you certainly considered Oppie as your closest. You met up most evenings, sometimes going out to eat at a local café, but most often just reading and working on assignments or papers in silence. It was always nice to know that you could talk if you wanted to though.

It was on one of these evenings that Robert started an unexpected conversation.

“Y/N, I was wondering if I could ask you about something. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but it’s just been bugging me recently.”

“I’m all ears Robert, go ahead.”

“Do you ever just walk into a room and feel like everybody in it hates you. That you open your mouth and everybody just thinks ‘what the hell is this idiot going to start on about now’.” He was saying everything very matter of factly, though it was clear that opening up to someone wasn’t easy on him. You paused briefly, trying to decide how to respond.

“People that you know, or just everyone?”

“Everyone. Although it’s easier when it’s just new people, you can just put up a facade for a bit, you know. Convince them that you aren’t as bad as you really are.”

“I guess I kind of know what you mean, I ended up with a bit of a complex because my mum used to ask me not to talk about my interests. She used to say she didn’t want to know because she didn’t understand, I don’t think she could handle the fact that I knew more than her. It kind of gets better though when you make some decent friends… the complex I mean. What’s so bad about you anyway Robert?”

“All I’ve ever done is academics, I don’t have a personality outside of that. I hate making friends and nobody ever understands me. I went to Cambridge and got stuck doing lab work, I was hopeless, just couldn’t do it.” His fragile facade was starting to drop now, you could hear it in his voice. “I couldn’t even manage the one thing that I’m meant to be good at. Without my science who the hell even am I?” He was trying to hide it, but you had noticed the few small tears that had fallen from his cyanic eyes.

You moved from your seat to be beside him on the sofa where he was sitting himself, wrapping a gentle arm around his shoulders. Given how reserved he usually was, the picture of perfect manners and politeness, it caught you off guard when he wrapped both of his arms around you, burying his head in your shoulder. It was rare to see him so vulnerable, it was the same of any man really, but it was strangely gratifying that he trusted you enough to be around him like this.

“You are J Robert Oppenheimer. You are you Robert, and that is enough to ask of anyone.” You spoke firmly. “I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but I certainly don’t hate you. In fact, I think you’re the best friend that I’ve had in a very long time, and I’ve had my share of identity crises as well.” He pulled back from your hold then, sitting up straight.

“Is this feeling ever going to go away though? I can’t bear it, I just can’t.”

“It will, it will take time but you will get past this. Both of us are learning who we really are, and when we do we’ll be all the better for it.

“Would you mind if I hold you, just for a bit? I just need to know that somebody’s here, with me.”

“Of course I don’t mind. In truth, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to feel this comfortable with someone.” With that, he put a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you securely into his side.

“Robert, I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲

𝟭. being consistent in journaling ( 🪻 )

i have recently started journaling more consistently and would like to maintain this line. i tried several times to start, failing miserably, because i couldn't find a method that would keep me motivated for a long time. then i purchased the famous five minutes gratitude journal, which is much easier to keep, and which i manage to update almost every day because by simply having to answer the pre-set questions my brain doesn't experience it as a commitment, unlike writing a diary page. alongside the fmj i have another diary with blank pages that i use as a proper diary, writing my reflections, talking about my day, complaining about negative things and stuff like that. i must say that it's therapeutic. i hope this is the right time i can maintain consistency in writing.

𝟮. having a more balanced diet ( 🍋‍🟩 )

i admit i've been eating like shit lately, a lot of sweets and processed foods alternated with periods of fasting due to guilt with the excuse of not having enough time to cook among the thousand things to do. i want to seriously commit to investing some of my time each week into preparing healthy, homemade meals (i could share some recipes here if you want, lmk) that keep me energized and don't ruin my hard work at the gym by adding empty calories to my diet.

𝟯. being consistent in the gym ( 🍄 )

and then obviously going to the gym at least 3 times a week, not really due to a matter of weight/aesthetics, but to cultivate discipline and focus. i believe that physically venting stress is the best and healthiest way to handle the crushing weight of life lately. sometimes i simply need to unload my energy without throwing a fit and risking venting it on someone who has nothing to do with it.

𝟰. reading at least 10 pages per day ( 📚 )

i love reading. i love reading madly, but i also know that i often find a thousand excuses not to do it. my brain fried by social media and zombie scrolling doesn't like the idea of concentrating on printed pages at all and i always put off reading all those books placed on my shelf gathering dust. i haven't read a book in months, so the time has come to break this bad habit and take back my greatest passion. i won't even mention all the benefits of reading, because only one book can give you so much in such a short time.

𝟱. sleep at least 8 hours ( ☕ )

i think my lack of sleep has a psychological component, but i'm no expert so what i say may not actually make any sense. i sleep little, much less than i need, when i was in high school i finished studying very late at night (past 3am) every day because i was so dependent on academic validation that the idea of getting a slightly lower grade than my usual could make me throw up. the thing is, i always delay going to sleep, even though my body is begging me to do so, and i think it's due to an inherent fear that the next day i'll have to go through it all over again. consequently in the morning i'm a wreck and i have to drag myself out of bed, being 30% as productive as i actually could be. i think it's time to work on my sleep schedule much more seriously, i think it could boost my health a lot.

𝟲. spend 15min in the sun every day ( ☀️ )

as a woman i know how important it is to be in the sun to produce vitamin D, unfortunately for me i'm some kind of goblin vampire who can't stay in the sun for more than five minutes without getting sunburned – on top of that my eyes start to water when the light too strong. i'll arm myself with sunscreen and give my body what it needs, hoping i won't get arthritis in my forties.

let me know in the comments what are YOU planning to improve in the near future <3